#lila rambles a lot
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TUA SEASON 4 SPOILERS
So, as someone who couldn’t help myself and look at spoilers in the first place, I was worried, and then season 4 only confirmed my worries.
The unfortunate thing is, after finding out about the whole (stupid) Five and Lila thing, I could see how they were setting it up from episode one. These two practically hated each other’s guts since the moment they met, and yet the writers set them up to spend more time together and get to know each other more from the beginning of this season. They also completely ruined the characters by themselves, which is frustrating in itself. I could gripe about that more, but everyone feels the same way, so I won’t.
Number 2, just some personal things, but like- why did they feel the need to up the gore and language? I could go without every episode dropping the f-bomb multiple times, or without people’s innards getting spilt every episode. Other people might not care about that as much as I do, but I thought it was unnecessary. (Also, so much yapping this season, which also felt unnecessary-)
3rd, what was that plot? What was the whole season? None of it made sense, nothing felt cohesive, it was six episodes of “hey, this series is gonna end, so we’re gonna do whatever the heck we want!” I think we all would’ve been fine with just 3 seasons.
Last but not least, surprisingly enough, one of my least favorite characters became one of my favorites this season? Didn’t expect that either, but tbh I don’t think anyone expected this bad of a season.
Yap session/mini essay over, and if you read the whole thing, thanks for staying lol
#tua spoilers#umbrella academy spoilers#the umbrella academy#tua#tua season 4#tua season four#tua s4#five hargreeves#number five#tua five#tua lila#lila hargreeves#tua allison#allison hargreeves#star’s rambles#yap session#just my thoughts#which a lot of people share#slay ig#but not this season#wasn’t satisfied with the ending either but whatever
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i was just reading kell's pov in acol where he goes down to see holland in the cells, how he feels hollands eyes scraping against his own, and back in adsom where its described as two stones sparking together. not only does that make me want to go insane, it also makes me wonder if holland feels that too or if its just kell? its not mentioned as far as i can remember in any of hollands pov and not even in their first meeting flashback. the absence of it from holland's pov is a bit of a shame really though it does suggest that its just kell and the effect holland has on him... its also mentioned briefly when lila gets her antari prosthetic eye (in the sense that kell feels glad that he can look her in the eyes without that friction) which makes me wonder, if lila had both eyes would there be that sparking sensation between her and kell? would it not as their black eyes are on the same side? why would that sensation be only due to the presence of the marked eye? it's clear that kell and lila DO have a connection but then again so would most people who went through what they did together (especially as kell is quite dramatic about what he cares about). it would just be a shame to have this connection between antari be a real thing and it not be developed past a couple of brief mentions one of which to enhance a ship. the antari could be endlessly more strange so it's a shame that, even when bonded with the rings, they are essentially just very powerful magic users and not something altogether else...
#give me some STRANGE#also actually i was thinking about if there was an actual bond between antari whether they like it or not#and how lila and holland would navigate that#i tried to write a lila pov fic about this that was mainly just a stream of consciousness actually#about when holland is torturing lila in adsom to get kell to come back#and despite the fear and hatred she felt like she could lean back and through into him like ink into water#meeting something made from the same stuff as her and that feeling of connection being new and utterly terrifying#but alas i cannot write and also don't have the patience to get better at it so it is not somethig i can post#i just really wanted them all to be more weird about it lmao#i can imagine holland turning up to deliver letters and people being like “ah theres holland. he and kell have something weird going on”#or kell being consumed with grief about having to kill one of his own kind but not being able to express it to anyone especially rhy#and feeling this overwhelming wrongness thinking its just that he killed holland#not knowing its actually holland having osaron in his head thats causing the inexplicable wrongness#or just lila hating that she has any kind of bond with holland wishing she could seperate the two of them#but if she were to take a knife to remove him from her she wouldn't know where to start cutting#wow thats a lot of words today#adsom ramble#adsom#shades of magic#holland vosijk#lila bard#kell maresh#anyway i do love and adore these books but it doesnt mean i can't be sad about missed opportunities
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What music have you been listening to lately
checked my airbuds and my top artists for this week are mannequin pussy, clairo, and alex g!!
#i’ve also been listening to a lot of ethel cain lately#in lieu of perverts coming out#i’m so excited#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#i’m just a girl#lila rambles
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CHLOE RANT!! SOME SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST EPISODES!
I'm a Chloe stan. I had dug her character even in season 1, but then they gave her some hope. Showed that there was more to her than a stereotypical mean girl. This made her probably one of the most complex characters in the show.
Then season 3's finale happened, and it all fell apart. All season 4, she felt like they took her character, scribbled out everything interesting, and just made her a heartless, mean girl worse than ever. Then through season 5, the show talks to the audience, saying there is no hope for Chloe. That sometimes people are just bad...and I would say okay and call it a day if that was true. But they showed us that little piece of good in her...why show it if she is nothing but evil?
When they introduced Zoe, I was hoping that she would be a secret baddie who would eventually work with Lila. I mean, it works; Zoe is a new character no one knew, who is an actress, and said that at her old school, she lied about who she was. It fit...that plus Marinette giving her the bee miraculous without really knowing her...it felt off to me. Granted, that's all in the past now, and I don't doubt Zoe is a sweet girl, but another part of my idea remains. I thought with Zoe in the picture, and if my evil Zoe theory was correct, Chloe would end up on rock bottom, eventually speeding up her redemption to completion.
At the beginning of season 5, I was in denial. With every bad thing Chloe did, I would say, "it's just Lila manipulating her," until finally, I gave up hope and decided to accept what happened to her character...
...that is until the last two episodes.
Right now, Chloe is at her worst. She had come full circle. She had Principal Damocles and Ms. Bustier fired and Marinette expelled. She knows Adrien is moving to London, something he hasn't told anyone yet. She has Monarch backing her. She is the freaking Mayor....she has everything she wanted. So much power...but you know what else she has?
Lila.
Lila is telling her what to say and do. None of what's happening is actually Chloe. This is just her being manipulated by her "Friend" and Monarch. Both have their own agendas, and one is to bring Monarch down.
Lila did what she did to everyone else. She told her everything she wanted to hear. She fed on her faults and her bad qualities and gave her praise for them. Something that everyone else has criticized and scolded her for in the past. She is getting the affirmation she has been craving "to be who she is."
But what happens when she is no use anymore? When Monarch is taken down, and Lila takes control and no longer needs her?
Chloe is going to hit rock bottom.
She will have no friends. No Mayor father to get her out of trouble. No future because she thought she wouldn't need anything or learn anything because she will always be "rich." She will be alone and face the consequences of her actions.
I think it's then she is going to finally accept her sister and turn to her for support. Zoe knows how it feels to be alone and friendless; it's what happened to her in New York.
Maybe then...only then can Chloe finally see everything she was missing while blinded by her own arrogance and finally be on the right road to redemption.
#miraculous ladybug#miraculous spoilers#miraculous season 5#chloe bourgeois#chloe redemption#zoe lee#lila rossi#rambles#i have a lot of feelings#i still have hope#chloe stan#take it or leave it#my Zoe theory was fire#I wish that it was real because it would make her a more interesting character#ridiculous utterly ridiculous#spoilers#ml confrontation#miraculous collusion
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Do you ever get those moments when you’re watching a show/playing a game/reading a book and this character just shows up and is obvilously acting as a villain/enemy.
And then you just think: oh, they’re just a good guy who happens to look suspicous, they won’t hurt the protagonist on purpose.
And then they do the opposite and you feel so disappointed.
#or emberassed if you remember my early amphibia days#arrow rambles#miraculous ladybug#lila rossi#amphibia#the core#lmk#six eared macaque#liu er mihou#gravity falls#bill cipher#cuphead dlc#chef saltbaker#danganronpa#celestia ludenberg#rwby#james ironwood#curious cat#this happens to me a lot more than i thought#youd think i learned my lesson by now
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HSHSHS
I made my Gravity Falls insert outfits.. and yes.. I based them off of Lila's outfits on purpose 😔/lh
I wonder whyy/silly
#btw#I am. sleepy#interacted a lot today#so mind is bleehh#probs gonna let the rambles for-#-later!! ^^#Lila bright as the Sun
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thinking abt bellum v hard. (fyi there are 1658 words under this cut)
there's not a lot of concrete stuff to think abt but there ideas. he's kind of already won by the time link shows up on the scene. he's not really actively antagonizing the world of the ocean king, he mostly just has the ghost ship to go around collecting prey for him while he has the yook and anouki turned against each other and seems to have infested the different temples and whatever with monsters to delay any opposition. is he the one who destroyed the cobble kingdom? they're meant to be supporters of the ocean king so i think we can guess that bellum is the one who tried to eradicate them.
maybe he was the one who... mind controlled? or otherwise meddled with the yook to keep them from checking out the ice temple and keeping the anouki occupied with dealing with them. (tbh theres some untapped potential in the relationship between the yook and anouki) he doesn't really do anything to the gorons but maybe he doesn't see them as a worthwhile threat since they see the crimsonine as more of an artifact and not something they should really do anything with, and link has to pass a test to even be allowed to go to the temple. the cobble kingdom is already destroyed, and it can be assumed that he mightve mimicked their engineering based on eox being the hostile boss of the last temple and turning into sand, suggesting a relationship to bellum, and maybe that he's trying to hide the fact that he's the one fucking with everyone. i'm not even sure if characters (besides the main group) even know that bellum exists until link's quest is more known.
taking a note from the manga, where bellum says something along the lines of feelings of love and friendship creating more worthwhile life force for him, so taking that into account with stuff in the game suggests that he maybe doesnt make his presence well-known to avoid something like a mass panic or a persistent fear in people, which could downplay positive emotions that makes their life forces more worth taking to him along with other worthwhile forces maybe being ones connected to divine power (like his taking of tetra and seeming desperation to keep her specifically, since she's most likely a descendant of hylia's mortal form), so he likely is very hands-off with how he's affected the world in order to preserve the value of his prey, somehow. idk why he turns people into statues maybe its a preservation method. maybe hes saving tetra for some reason or maybe trying to bait link in as well. maybe he wants to grab link, too, but failed to catch him the first time and resorted to allowing him to go down the path of dismantling bellum's work all so that bellum can try and capture him himself.
the spirits he does manage to capture and left alive and instead just sealed away within their temples, which i believe is because spirits and gods and whatever in loz can't really die unless they explicitly permanently become mortal (hylia) and can only really be sealed away temporarily in some form, mostly due to a lot of them being a sort of representation of some part of the world (i like to imagine that demise is the god or whatever who created monsters, he's the father of monsters and opposes hylia due to the way her favored creatures [hylians ig] attack and kill monsters and he wants the world to be habitable and safe only for his creations)
it's probably safe to say that the ghost ship (like. the whole thing) was created by bellum, and in some form is perhaps some kind of living being, hence why bellum is capable of effectively possessing it the way he does, since it's an extension of himself like the boss monsters, it just maybe takes parts from some existing ships, or maybe it's not alive and bellum is capable of creating large structures like that he is compatible with.
bellum himself turns to sand when he is defeated, as well as most of the other boss monsters, but the cubus sisters (who certainly have a relationship with bellum due to having the same eyes and being connected to the ghost ship) do not turn into sand, which makes me think that bellum didn't actually create them; maybe they're corpses or something being remotely puppeted by bellum.
bellum is clearly made up of the sand of hours, a crystallization of life force, and oshus is said to have used those sands to create the phantom hourglass, and the sands are also mentioned to have been created from the force gems connected back to oshus himself, so bellum was probably created from those force gems and therefore those sands of hours at some point somehow (i enjoy the idea that oshus was the one who created bellum; with oshus being our main source of info on bellum, i think it'd be interesting if he was the one who originally made bellum but obscures this fact by just talking about how he 'appeared' and whatnot).
bellum seems to have a weird sort of... inverted? perverted? ability to create life (perhaps a sort of parallel to the one we can assume the ocean king has if we assume that he created the three spirits as well as bellum maybe) but only in a hivemind or derivative sort of way, only able to create things that follow simple commands and when he possesses something else he takes it over. (i like to take him in a more biological or physiological way rather than magical, when he is removed so is the control, but there might be little remnants, but his influence is gone. i take bellumbeck aftereffects to be terrible sickness rather than others going with the idea of taking on some bellum-like traits or residual controls. the things bellum creates can only follow simple rules unless he is directly in control therefore he can use it as he wishes, but if he takes control of something he did not create, it's a bit more of a battle, he has to contend with that other being's subconscious or whatnot and has no effect unless he is physically connected. his control is more limited and ends up incorporating some of the hosts' subconscious desires with some guiding from bellum himself to achieve a favorable outcome.)
with the world of the ocean king being a sort of parallel/separate world to link n tetra's great sea, it's interesting that the ghost ship can be physically present outside the world in which it was created. definitely there can be contact between different worlds in loz (like hyrule and the dark world/lorule in alttp/albw and a little bit with termina if you take that as a literal place and a little bit with koholint and then the twili realm and whatever i'm missing) but it's interesting to see bellum as a villain capable of (in some way) contact and interact within other worlds and drag inhabitants of those other worlds into his own (oshus can send people out of his world, so i assume he can also bring them in, maybe that's how link gets in despite falling off of the ghost ship, unless somehow the ghost ship is still within the world of the ocean king but is also present in the great sea but the area around it is a fragment of whatever part of the world of the ocean king its in superimposed over the great sea... idk) so it's interesting that bellum could bc considered a villain able to tamper with or at least interact with world boundaries to let things in and out, maybe it's something that he is only capable of with whatever power he's attained by the start of the game.
whatever relationship he may have to oshus and the other spirits is not at all a part of the game, but at the same time we don't learn a whole lot about them anyways. there's also stuff with the chief of the golden frogs as another ally of oshus, but i imagine bellum didn't bother with him because he has no relation to the spirits' locations and the pure metals, and zuaz was left alone perhaps because his location is secret, while astrid and kayo were maybe found due to living on a more populated island (more prey for bellum to go after, more people to know about astrid and kayo). a lot of the monsters in the dungeons were probably already there, while the bosses were specifically made to protect what was hidden there, or maybe the bosses came first and their presences attracted other monsters.
i think bellum created the two monsters you fight overseas on the spot; they existed specifically to try and kill link because at those two times (link going to get the final spirit and link going to get the first pure metal) bellum suddenly panics and decides to try and eliminate link at the cost of the loss of a possible worthwhile piece of prey. bellum was probably also the one to begin the rumor of the ghost ship; i imagine he can take a sort of human form the same way oshus can, and spent a bit of time after defeating oshus and creating the ghost ship integrating him within some pirate crew and using them to grow and spread the rumor of the ghost ship, eventaully leading them towards it and taking them has his first victims (and along the way taking the time to foster good relationships with them in the hopes that their positive emotions and feelings would make them more worthwhile prey, back to the manga snippet idea of feelings of friendship and love [and probably positive emotions in general] being another form of better life force).
bellum's cool
#bellum is a nothing villain def but there are interesting connections to be made within ph and you can tie back to him#i think he's neat :)#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#bellum#salty talks#this aint a theory this is autistic rambling with a fade-in of that one image of charlie day's character in whatever the fuck#im not good with themes or motifs or stuff like that but boy can i make material connections. or whatever this is. im connecting the dots#i dont like the ph manga too much but i wont deny it had some banger moments. mostly around bellumbeck#i very much prefer the idea that bellum is like. intelligent and sentient as opposed to some primitive monster sort of thing#and a lot of the post backs that up (its either affirmation bias or just literal bias on my end from the start)#but he can still be a fucking animal as a treat. he can do both. scheming mastermind kinda thing and then rabid squid#i like bellum i think hes interesting i want to dissect him <3#hes the other end of the ph autism i think. linebeck has the slow burn more quietly intense effect while bellum is just. brief flares#and then bam bellumbeck is just- *frothing at the mouth*#is this. is this an infodump? im not used to talking for a while abt things i like this was written over the course of a few hours#in the middle of this i took my dog on a long walk and was finishing up the whos lila video essay#anyways. bellum thoughts and ideas ive come up with w/ a mixture of game info and personal headcanon#not even touching on possible ways to make him similar or parallel to linebeck or anything that REALLY deals with linebeck#bc that delves a lot more into headcanon and more specfic au and post-ph ideas and scenarios#long post#its funny seeing people talk abt how bellum is a bad villain without any substance or character and yeah thats true but also i wrote this
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this book feels so validating
#nnnot a huge fan of it tbh#rn. at least#because lila is worked and i think that rlly reflects in how she's acting. and it annoys me.#good decision but thats my favorite character and shes not herself so whatever its just not as fun#but barron and philip and shandra. they're making me INSANE#just relate a lot to cassel :( augh#tzu rambles
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The one thing that always gets me about AGOS, too, is that it’s very telling of the place Kell had within the royal family. ADSOM has Kell expressing that he feels very much more like a possession than a prince. That he’s less of a son to Maxim and Emira and far more of a show of power by being an Antari magician at the center-most part of Red London’s crown.
AGOS not only shows you the aftermath of ADSOM, but shows you exactly what Kell means when he says he’s being treated not as a son but as a prisoner. Rhy doesn’t get any outward punishment—I don’t even think Kell knows that Rhy’s punishment is to watch him suffer—but Kell does.
Kell gets restrictions, isn’t allowed to be out unless he’s in company. If he’s traveling through worlds he must meet with guards to bring him back to the palace while every other person around him is free to do what they want within their previously established norm. And yet Kell spends AN ENTIRE BOOK just TRYING to atone for a sin that won’t be forgiven.
Lila recklessly entering the Essen Tasch and just barely winning against him even though it could have done an outrageous amount of damage to her is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Because yes he’s concerned and he wants her safe, but it’s that nagging sense of “Why is everyone else allowed to do this except for me? Why must I be the only one held accountable” and, quite frankly, Kell is right.
He’s the ONLY one to see physical consequence to his actions, and to be held so emotionally at arms length just eats at him until it finally breaks him. And he didn’t deserve that 😭
Why am I the only one in this fucking world to be held accountable for my actions?
My god, my GOD, what a fucking line from Kell because it is such a tell all. Lila has the audacity, too, to smile at it since in that one line, Kell’s revealed the reason behind all his anger. Sure, he’s on her ass because he is worried and he does care about her safety, but to watch her do everything he wants, to go out and behave with reckless abandon and come out okay and happy at the end of it drives him insane. He does it once, in the smallest way, and he’s so severely punished for months for it.
And it’s a tell all to Rhy too, and much be such a gut punch for him, because he is part of the problem. Kell would never blame him, never does, and it’s truly not necessarily Rhy’s fault, but he is at the crux of it. He acknowledges it all throughout the book, and Kell tries to placate him, but in that one damning sentence, it’s all proven right. His brother is suffering from unfairness, and Rhy’s a helpless and unwilling accomplice.
Kell is stuck with all of their mistakes. “Why didn’t he prevent Rhy from taking the amulet? Why wasn’t he there to keep him safe? It was probably his influence anyway, what with all the contraband he was sneaking back and forth.” As Rhy is not an adult, capable of atoning and understanding his own actions. And he’s not really stuck with Lila’s mistakes, but fuck she is just so free in a way that he is not, in a way that he can never be, and she doesn’t understand that.
FUCK what a sentence. So relatable too, personally.
#SORRY I RAMBLED BUT I AGREE WITH YOU OP#ITS SUCH A HARD HITTING LINE#BECAUSE ITS TRUE#Kell spends an ENTIRE BOOK just trying to atone and be forgiven#and when he can’t and he finally breaks about it#it is the most heartbreaking part of the book#also don’t get me wrong#bc i adore lila#but i remember reading this scene going LILA SWEETIE NO#YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SPIRALING THATS NOT THE ENERGY WE NEED RIGHT NOW#i still thought it was nice that both she and rhy basically both agreed that as upset as he was he *would* come back#i studied this book for MONTHS trying to annotate it for an essay#so forgive me i have a LOT OF WORDS#kell’s MO is that he cares too much#which#:(#same dude#a gathering of shadows#a darker shade of magic#adsom#kell maresh#rhy maresh#lila bard
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I am officially caught up on the adventure zone, a personal best! it only took me 5 and a half years!*
*this is jokey but not an exaggeration in terms of the amount of time lol
i especially enjoyed finishing the episode that went up today because OF COURSE the first time I can’t just listen to the next episode if I want, they end on a cliffhanger :D
#taz spoilers#i do actually mean it was fun i laughed a lot at that ending in the context of it dovetailing with my Feelings about actually catching up#lila rambles
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Madame Orpheus 🦋
Ramblings about her under the cut!
Quick drawing of Lila using the butterfly miraculous! She was sorta kept in the drafts bc I made Null a lot more important in the au, but I love the evil girl a lot so I'll figure out where to put her!
Also shout out to 19 year old me for coming up with Madame Orpheus bc it has stayed my favorite miraculous name to DATE 😤 for two main reasons: She was originally going to make fake promises to Gabriel about saving Emilie (nods to Orpheus and Eurydice), and bc put together it sounds like "Metamorphosis"! Ah I love this AU
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Risk (Five Hargreaves x reader)
Warnings: fluff, cursing, not proofread
I wrote the first part of this like one or two years ago and I finished it like today. So there’s that.
———————————————/
You were sitting at a table nursing a Shirley temple and counting down until the two hours you were forcing yourself to be here were up. You didn’t share the need for the Hargreaves family bonding time. Diego and Lila were throwing a late wedding reception. You don’t look too old for this but you feel it.
There are times you regret taking that brief case when everything was falling apart and going to their time. But there wasn’t much you could do about that now.
Five sits down next to you, his hair messy and his eyes droopy from alcohol.
“Gee, Five. How far gone are you?” You question, leaning back in your chair. You didn’t see him much. He called every now and then and checked up on you, visited every now and then. The two of you would cook dinner and you would have movie nights, some where he was showing you movies he grew up with and others where you both were watching movies that you both had missed.
A movie night happened once in a blue moon but you enjoyed them when they did happen.
“Well a little liquid courage turned into a lot of liquid courage.”
You hum in response, taking another sip of your drink, “liquid courage for what?”
“You look nice.” He hums and you look down at the maroon crushed velvet dress you were wearing.
“Um, thanks?”
Five sighs loudly, “wanna dance?” He asks you and you shake your head, setting your drink back down on the table.
“I don’t dance, Mister Hargreaves.” You sigh and he rolls his eyes.
“Pity. Well, don’t say I didn’t try.”
“What?” You smirk and he meets your gaze, an amused glint showing through the drunken daze he’s gotten himself into.
“Well, when you fell from the sky with your determined pretty eyes and your quietly challenging demeanor I thought, ‘now that’s a woman’ and I was hoping that maybe, since we’re finally both at one of these things at the same time and all, I could woo said woman and perhaps get to know her a little better, but it’s clear that that isn’t going to happen. I forgot to factor in how difficult you are.” He rambles drunkenly and you feel your cheeks turn pink. You pick up your drink again, sipping on it to give you something to do.
“You wanted to woo me, eh?” You smile and he nods, tapping the glass of what you suppose is whiskey or scotch of some kind. You take a moment to appreciate how nice he looks. The sigh of him in a suit wasn’t rare generally but it was rare to you. You were used to grandpa slacks that were neatly pressed and sweaters that hang off of his willowy frame. Clothing that had been washed so often it was soft enough to be pajamas and sleeves that fell over his hands more often than not.
So the sight of him in a proper suit was enough to enact the mannerism of fanning yourself when you were nervous. You had learned it from your mother, a thoroughly anxious woman who wore confidence like a costume rather than a personality trait.
“I figured I might as well take the chance.,” he shrugs, “I don’t think we see each other enough for a simple request to make things awkward.”
You sit for a moment, pursing your dark red lips to hide your smile and setting down your glass.
“Well thenMaybe I will take that dance.” You say, standing up.
“Will you, now?” He asks, his eyebrows raised.
You nod, “but I must warn you, I’ve never been a very good dancer.”
Five smiles at you, his expression a picture of pride, adoration and drunken ingenuity.
“It’s rude to keep a lady waiting, Mister Hargreaves.”
Five sets his glass down on the table and stands up, offering you his hand. You take it and let him lead you to the dance floor.
I can smell the alcohol on his breath. And he rests his forehead on your shoulder, pulling you into him even more, both hands comfortably sitting on your hips. Instinctively you carefully set your arms onto his shoulders, awkward in your moments.
“You smell nice.” He mumbles into your neck.
“Thanks,” you scrunch your eyebrows and move his head away from his shoulder to cup his cheek, “we’re just standing here, show me what to do.”
“Anytime, darling,” he mumbles, smiling at you sweetly through his drunken haze, “first thing’s first, step a little closer.”
You shuffle until you’re maybe half a foot away from him, he sighs and uses the hand he has on your hips to pull you close enough that your hips brush each other when he starts slowly swaying.
“Let me see this hand,” he mumbles, holding your hand, for a moment you’re worried that you palms might be clammy but when you try to meet his eyes they’re trained on your hands together, as if he’s trying to commit to memory the feel of whatever he can touch of you, “and then follow my lead, simple box step. Back, side, up, side, and back.”
You clumsily follow his instructions, somewhat getting the hang of it, “is this okay?” You whisper.
You feel slightly insecure, looking around to ensure no one is looking to witness your fumbling. Your eyes train onto Luther, sitting in the corner.
He had softened since Sloan, today must be fairly hard for him. He had drunk himself into a stupor, almost asleep against his palm on the table. You thought he might avoid this particular event but he always shows up.
You’re brought back to the moment by fives hand on your cheek, moving your head to face him, “I don’t want you to trip, sweetheart.”
You smile and nod, “do you ever get worried about any of them?”
“Not as much anymore. Why?” Five responds easily.
“Luther just looks so sad.” You mumble and five smiles.
“He’ll be okay. So long as he has a family to show up for I think he’ll do just fine.” Five reassures you, spinning you and pulling you back in.
The close proximity of your face to his makes you turn crimson, tripping over your feet. Five catches you easily, suddenly seeming incredibly sober.
“Than-thank you.” You stumble over your words, trying to avoid his gaze.
“Anytime, dear.” The way he’s looking at you makes the world emit a low thrum.
And then he’s dipping you, holding you firmly, never losing eye contact with you.
You’re suddenly overtaken by an immense sense of panic.
You stand abruptly, letting go of him and rubbing your palms onto your dress.
“Are you alright? Did I do-“
“No, no you’re fine I just um- it’s getting late I should start saying my goodbyes. It was nice to see you.”
“You too, sweetheart.” You hear him call after you as you make your way over to Lila and Diego to say goodbye and then to Luther to rouse him awake and offer him a ride home.
—————
You don’t sleep much, the picture of five so close to you etched permanently into your mind. You can somehow still feel his warm breath on your face and smell the alcohol on his breath. Eventually you get out of bed with a huff.
You hug your fluffy robe around you. Your small country home was quaint and secluded, faded white paint on the wooden facade, the wrap around porch held a seating area and porch swing like you had always wanted before.
But for all the ups there were downs, the power went in and out frequently and the insulation sucked.
You go downstairs to the kitchen and turn on the light, taking out ingredients and utensils. You turn to preheat the oven and something catches your eye.
It’s a person, sleeping on the porch swing. You look to the couch and see Luther still on the pullout couch. Cursing under your breath you reach into the pantry and pull out a shotgun.
You tap on the window harshly and the person jumps, turning around and sighing, holding their hands up.
It’s only then that you see the dark hair and tell tale grin.
You open the window and grumble, “can’t you just knock like a normal person?”
“It’s a lot harder to approach you sober.” He shrugs and you roll your eyes.
“Get your ass in the house, Hargreaves.” You order.
“Yes ma’am.” He grins and you have to ignore the pink that rises to your cheeks, telling yourself it’s just the cold.
You close the window once more and go back to your baking, distracting yourself with the measurements as you listen to Five pick your front door lock with ease and make his way into the kitchen.
“Morning, dear.” He smiles and you shake your head.
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing awake?”
“I asked you first.”
He shakes his head, “I didn’t like the way you left things. I wanted to make sure I didn’t take anything too far.” He remains distracted by the efficient way you divvy out the ingredients and whisk everything up in less than a moment.
“Everything’s fine, Five.” You assure him and he shakes his head.
“I feel like you’re not telling me the truth.”
“Hand me the aluminum foil.” You request.
“Quit deflecting.”
“Hand me the aluminum foil.”
He huffs and takes it out of the cabinet as you get a cookie sheet out of the dish rack. You reach for the foil but he doesn’t let it go.
“Five-“ you whine but he doesn’t let go, his gaze intent on you and only you.
“I just want to know what’s going on in your head.” He says softly and you sigh.
“Let me get these in the oven and then we can go upstairs and talk.”
He nods and watches you work. This happened often when the two of you were together. The both of you were raging insomniacs so late night baking would happen when he deigned to show up every couple months. Normally he would read out loud, initially it was case files that he didn’t mind you hearing because you didn’t talk to anyone but once you had told him that Little Woman was your favorite bedtime story as a girl and he’s been making his way through it slowly with you over the last six months.
But now there was silence, you spooned cookie dough onto the cookie sheet and then carefully put the dishes in the sink before turning and heading upstairs without a word to Five.
Once you make it to your room you sit on the bed, five on the small loveseat Claire or Grace used when they stayed over.
“What are you thinking about?” Five asks.
You take him in in the dim lamp light. His shirt was partially unbuttoned, his tie was long discarded but his jacket was still on.
You felt slightly self conscious in your oversized t shirt and fluffy robe.
“I’m wondering where the suits go when you’re here.” You mumble, sitting cross legged in the middle of your messed up bed.
“They take a break in favor of leisure wear.” He smiles.
“Why?”
“I’m just comfortable here I guess.” He shrugs.
“Then why do you only ever come around six times a year at most?” You ask and he seems to recognize that this is you approaching this issue head on.
“I work.”
“Bullshit, Hargreaves.”
He exhales loudly and leans into his palms, “I like you, sweetheart-“
“But?”
“But, I can’t risk loving you.” He releases slowly, like the first exhale after holding your breath. You let the words wash over you, warmth and panic all in one, “why did you run off of the dance floor.”
His voice is tight.
“Because I think you’re worth the risk, and that���s really scary.” I admit.
“I know, I know it’s scary. And I really shouldn’t have started showing up like I did in the first place , I knew I shouldn’t have done it but you showed up the way you did, and then as we started settling here we both grew more into life here and you were beautiful, you’ve always been like that and I knew if I got too close the world would decide to end.”
“Why do you say that?” Your throat feels so dry.
“Because good things aren’t allowed for me.”
“Oh five.” You sigh and he meets your eyes from where he was hiding them in his palms.
“You’ve already uprooted your entire life because of what I caused, you’ve switched years, timelines, I can’t ask you to do that if it comes to it. And if I wasn’t able to protect you and something happened again-“
“You’ve always protected me, five. You wouldn’t falter in that, I know that for a fact. You saved me from the end of my world, then a second one, you got me this house, you knew I wouldn’t be able to work here because I have technically already lived here and you got me a fucking house and made sure I had everything I’ve ever needed. Like Noah from The Notebook with a bloodier spin.”
He chuckles at your ill placed reference, you were getting the hang of it but having some trouble.
“That doesnt mean-“ you clutch his hands on yours and he stops speaking to hold tight to you.
“Five, just tell me how you feel. Regardless of what the fates think of it, just tell me what you feel.”
He’s quiet a moment, “I love you.”
And in an instant your lips are on his. It’s not thought through, it’s pure instinct and desire.
You’re kissing him like you’ll never get this chance again but the way he’s moving to hold onto you is proving you otherwise. He moves from the loveseat to sit with you on the bed, arms wrapped around you, yours holding tightly to his neck to keep him as close to you as possible.
He bites your lip and you hum into him, moving your hand to comb through his hair.
“Don’t let go.” He mumbles against your lips, capturing them viciously once more, not allowing you to respond.
And then the oven begins buzzing and you both fly away from each other like shrapnel.
“I’ve gotta get that.” You smile awkwardly and five nods.
His lips are swollen and his hair is a mess and his cheeks are flushed and you take him in a second longer than necessary before heading downstairs, trying to get to the oven before it wakes Luther out of his death sleep.
When you pass him on the couch he’s covering his ears.
“I’m sorry, dude, I lost track of time.” You say, turning off the oven and taking the cookies out.
You get him a glass of water and some pain meds and encourage Luther to take the meds and drink the water.
Five slowly makes his way downstairs, listening to you mumble to Luther.
He watched you take a cookie off of the pan and put it on a napkin, refilling the water glass and bringing it to Luther again.
“Just one more glass and this cookie and you can go back to sleep, okay hun?”
“Mkay.” Luther mumbles.
When you head up the stairs you see Five standing a quarter way up the stairs, smiling at you fondly.
He reaches a hand out and you take it, letting him lead you back to your room.
You undo your robe and sit in bed, sitting in silence with five for a moment.
“Hey, sweetheart?”
“Yes, five?”
“You’re worth the risk.” He says firmly.
“Come lay down, dear.” You smile at him and he grins that grin that makes your cheeks flush pink.
He sits next to you on the bed, letting you drape the blankets over him. You reach into your nightstand and pull out a faded copy of Little Women, handing it to him.
“Read to me?” You softly request, hesitantly nuzzling yourself into his side.
He accepts you happily, raising an arm over you to hold onto you as he opens the book, “anytime darling.”
He kisses the top of your forehead and you close your eyes, listening to his voice and hoping to god it would always be around.
#five hargreeves#five hargreaves x reader#five Hargreaves imagines#five hargreaves x you#five Hargreaves fluff
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All of Lila’s moms are secretly lesbian lovers and truly believe their daughter is theatre kid to the MAX!
Don’t understand why people are so against the idea of her having several mothers as if this show has not time and time again shown us how unrealistic it is. Three ladies having a kid with a severe identity problem is NOT the craziest thing to happen in this show.
Bla bla Lila Rossi tricked or convinced 3 mothers of her.
You care too much in a twisted way. That’s a you problem. You have nothing else better to do but be triggered or look for trouble. It’s a you want it to be a problem as well and involve into it deeply for Derision. Seems to me you never realized that people don't have the same amount of care like you do. What I know is lax and or busy distracted people that have a life, exist. Shall I tell you that only specific samples of characters are used and not an entirety of what people are like are used. I have some more awful news. I congratulate you again for being a true protagonist. And go on a please admit you secretly love Derision.
#lila rossi#lex rambles#I’m in a parking lot rn and this lady is on a phone call in her car#We can all hear your conversation#please stfu
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fuck conventional love languages. are you a playlist maker, food sharer, facetimer, movie watcher, or something else??
#those are a lot better imo#love language#love langauges#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#lila rants#lila rambles#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#i’m just a girl
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assorted small town au ramblings
all the hargreeves kids grew up in different houses with their birth moms but still went to the same schools together. lila was a transplant from the burbs and she was dying of boredom her first year there
a small mountain town just feels right. lots of woods to explore, plenty of places to hike- small enough that everyone is close, but spacious enough that it's not suffocating
i can picture some of the boys going hunting when the season comes around. diego would probably get really into it and five would be the best with a crossbow. everyone is down for fishing and screwing around at the local lake, though
speak of, hargreeves family cookouts monthly. everyone brings something and the kids run around while the adults just chill. either hosted by diego and lila's place or at the lake's shitty park tables
Luther is a math teacher at the local middle school (he is so smart. i will die on this hill) and adores his job. all the kids think he's the coolest person they've ever met. Sloane is the geography/history teacher down the hall. they make lunches for each other and spend their prep periods together. their students FREAKED OUT when they found out they were married. he works with the local scout troops over the summers and likes canoeing the best
Diego works with the local fire department (i can't make him a cop i'm sorry) and loves it. got really into axe throwing and wanted to teach Stanley, Grace, and the twins how to do it before Lila vetoed it. deer hunts in the fall, fishes as often as possible. epitome of girl dad, those kids have him wrapped around their little fingers. best bass player in town and avid enjoyer of the local bars' battle of the bands
Allison works with local government. amazing public speaker. lives in the heart of town with Ray and Claire, happier than ever. always the first to volunteer for Claire's school events- coaches for the high school volleyball team and is the best drama coach they've ever seen. surprisingly, loves camping the most out of anyone in the group. points out every constellation (she and Luther compete to see who can name the most) when they're outdoors and makes the best s'mores
Klaus sells the crochet and knit goods they make at local markets/the town festivals. has immaculate reviews on his etsy store. somehow pulls the best thrifting hauls with Allison and Claire. goes to the lake the most out of the group- loves to swim out and relax in the water. doesn't go on the hunting or fishing trips but does know all of the edible plant species they can forage locally. roomies with Ben and has a cat named Tango. keeps picking up DIYs in order to have excuses to visit Dave down at the hardware store
Five is the group cryptid. has a cabin in the woods somewhere. almost a full-on survivalist, bound to actually go feral someday. works with the town's historical society and archives. gets lunch with Herb and Dot semi-regularly. Mr. Pennycrumb accompanies him everywhere, and nobody argues with it. cans his own food and has bees on his property (he regularly leaves jam and honey jars on the others' porches and denies doing so). either the best dressed one at the function or wearing an awful fishing/hunting pun hoodie, no in-between
Ben is a librarian, and a kickass one at that. the best at story hour (his puppeteering skills with the octopus are immaculate) and incredible with multitasking. handles a bunch of finance stuff behind the scenes (diego and klaus are hopeless with taxes, five has almost been arrested for evasion). works on his motorcycle when he has free time and rides down to the valley to visit his girlfriend. presses wildflowers and helps at the community garden
Viktor works at the local music shop, Icarus Records. Luther is his most frequent customer and has probably bought at least half of their stock at this point. he's got more music knowledge than anyone else in town. loves going out on the hiking trails to play at the peaks- it brings him a sense of peace like nothing else. volunteers with the schools to teach music. still in his teenage band with Diego and Lila. visits his mom every week and sits out on the porch with her drinking sweet tea. budding romance with the newest transplant- a recently divorced woman from texas. (her son adores him already)
Lila also works with the historical society, but as the chaotic social media/marketing manager. she gets paid to meme and that's probably her dream career. attends every PTA meeting purely to psych out the other moms. drums whenever she gets the chance, absolutely demolishing everyone at the battle of the bands. chaotic evil driver- she learned with city traffic and assumes it makes her immune to the super windy roads. steals Diego's flannels and denies it
might make a separate post about their teenage years,,,
#okay yapping done#kitt shut up#the umbrella academy#tua#viktorposting#viktor hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#lila pitts
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Problem Child: Angel Reyes x Reader
Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @wakeama @witches-unruly-heart @keyweegirlie @trhett21 @annetje @infinity-mars @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @appreciatelove @the-wandering-lunatic @weiwei0210 @anime-weeb-4-life @multifandomloversworld @harperdoodle @cheyrenee @est1887 @prettyinpunk85 @adaydreamaway08 @thanossexual @briefpersonenemy @creativitybeware @crimeshowjunkie @librarian1002 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @spookyboogyuniverse @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @thebaileybugle @legally-a-bastard bonsaijoons @sclitvdes @justreblogginfics
Sequel to Valeria
Ten minutes…
Ten minutes is what you allow yourself to grieve, to cry, to feel all of the emotions that are coursing through your system in the aftermath of the revelation that Angel has a daughter.
It’s agony, this feeling in your chest. You’ve felt it before after your Nana died and you feel it again as you sit in your car outside of Angel’s house. Your chest’s tight, and you think about that baby, left all alone on the porch, the same way you were all those years ago.
Anything could have happened. Someone else could have taken her, the two of you may have decided to go out instead, Angel may have come over to yours. Lord knows how long she could have been out there. These are the thoughts that ramble through your head as you sit there with both hands on the steering wheel staring straight ahead.
There is no doubt that the baby is Angel’s. You’ve seen pictures of him as a child and Valeria is the spitting image of him. You wonder where this leaves the two of you, if Skylar genuinely couldn’t cope or if she did this to teach him a lesson.
She’s your problem now… The letter had read.
Barely a couple of weeks old and already labelled a problem.
You think your mother must have said something similar to your Nana when she’d dropped you off.
You wipe the tears away from your cheeks with the back of your hand, before tilting the rearview mirror to face you. You stare back at your reflection and take a deep breath.
You know what you have to do, someone needs to take control because you know right now that Angel isn’t in a condition to do it. You can’t imagine what this must feel like for him, you know he’s not going to cope, not on his own. He needs some stability, someone who can remain firm, who can guide him when he falters.
You pick up your phone and thumb through the contacts until you find the name that you’re searching for.
“Felipe. It’s me.” You say when he picks up the phone. “Angel needs you.”
***
You’re not coming back. Angel knows that and it devastates him. It feels like his whole life is crashing down around his head, like he can’t catch a second to breath. He cradles the baby to his chest, his lips brushing over her soft skin. He has to push all of that aside, he has to think about Valeria because she has to be his priority right now.
His gaze comes to rest on his father. Felipe is seated at the kitchen table, the letter from Skylar clasped in his hands as he studies it.
“Lila’s not coming back.” Angel says quietly.
“Give her time.” Felipe says as he sets the letter down. “It’s a lot to take in.”
Angel shakes his head because he knows this is too much. He can’t ask you to take on a baby. The two of you have never talked about kids. He didn’t know if you wanted them or not. He figured there would be plenty of time to figure that out later.
He’s surprised when he hears the key in the lock. You mutter a curse as your hip bumps against the door handle, crossing over the threshold with a bassinet tucked under your arm and several bags filled with God knows what.
“Give Valeria here.” Felipe says, raising to his feet and reaching out for the baby. “Go help her.”
He’s already in motion, his heart thudding against his rib cage as he catches one of the bags just as it slips from your grasp. He takes note of the diapers and formula, before he takes the bassinet from you.
“I managed to get this stuff from Carmen, she keeps a bunch of it aside for new parents who are struggling to make ends meet.” You explain as you haul the other bags with you into the kitchen. “Bishop was there, he had a lot of questions, but I told him you’d call him tomorrow. He seemed to be ok with that.”
Angel doesn’t even know where to begin. The words catch in his throat and there’s an ache in his chest as he looks at you because even now, you’re still taking care of him, not just him but Valeria too.
“I think we have everything we need for tonight.” You say as you set the bags down on the table. “I can get the rest of the stuff on my list when the stores open up in the morning.”
“I thought…”
“I needed a minute.” You tell him quietly. “You know what happened to me, Valeria being dropped off like that…” You don’t have to say anything else. Angel gets it and so does Felipe. “I want to be there for her and for you. I want to be part of this little family.”
“Are you sure?” he asks you quietly, his thumb tracing over the blush of your cheek.
You nod your head before your arms wrap around his waist and you draw him close. It feels good to have you back in his arms, he finds the gesture reassuring. You’ve always been a port in a storm for him and the fact you’re here right now soothes him more than he would ever admit to anybody else.
“Yea.” You tell Angel, your fingertips toying with the buttons on his shirt. “I want this, I want this with you.”
“Ok Mi Reina.” Angel murmurs as a smile ghosts across his lips. “Let’s do it. Let’s be a family.”
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#angel reyes#angel reyes x reader#angel reyes x you#mayans mc#angel reyes imagine#mayans fx#angel reyes fanfiction#angel reyes fic
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