#likely because she didn't have shit else to give me oops

[leonardoeatscarrots]

Update:

So I told my mother about the memoir I wanted (Rasputin: His Malignant Influence and His Assasination, by Felix Yusupov)

And she just like??? Offered to buy it for me?? I believe she meant as a holiday gift, so I likely won't get it until later in the month, BUT HEY MAN, THATS LIKE 50USD I DON’T HAVE TO SPEND ON A BOOK SO ILL TAKE IT.

[emotionoitme]

i didn’t know

i didn't know - skinshape

final part of don’t call my name

warnings: some fighting at the beginning, but it’s mostly just one big love and fuckfest, mommy issues, slight mention of disordered eating, carmy is a PERV!! unprotected sex throughout but what else did you expect, shower sex (water off for SAFETY), teasing, play fighting (like shoving), brat/brat tamer themes, f receiving oral, fingering, major voyeurism (while otp with richie because i have a crush on him), spanking (and mention of skin being red), slight dacryphilia, sexy pictures, face fucking (m receiving oral), he spits in her mouth, kind of rough handling (thank u dom carmy), but it’s sweet and sappy too, breeding kink oop, bittersweet ending, pls let me know if i missed any warnings my brain is fried from looking at this for so long.

wc: 21k - but tumblr has a 1k "block limit" so this chapter is broken into two posts

a/n: sorry that took me so long i took a grippy sock vacation lol. wow i am so excited for all of you to read this. and the only way i can apologize is with 21k words of the nastiest smut i’ve ever written. LET THERE BE LIGHT!!! (part two of this chapter will be linked at the bottom! no more waiting i promise!!)

playlist

knock knock 

he calls her name. 

she rolls her eyes, brushing out the tangles in her hair. “i need to talk to you.” his voice comes sternly.

she cracks the door, continuing to detangle. the plan was to ignore him, yet she can’t help but seethe at the fact that she had to deal with claire again.

“go talk to your girlfriend” her retort comes sharply.

“can you not start this shit?” his face scrunches.

“i’m not starting anything,” she defends, “you’re the one who keeps inviting that girl over here.” 

“she forgot her scarf,” he states, “she just came to pick it up. that’s it.”

the girl scoffs. 

“i’m sure she wanted a lot more than her scarf from you, carm.” 

“you-,” he rubs his forehead, sighing, “i told her that we’re together, okay?” his eyebrow twitches from the argument.

“you only told her that because she saw me in your shirt,” the girl argues stubbornly, “if i didn’t walk behind you, you wouldn’t have said anything.” she turns the shower on.

“yes i would have,” he contests, “and even if she didn’t see you, i’ve got these fuckin’ things all over my neck,” pointing to the dark purple hickeys that lay on his skin, “thanks for those, by the way. gotta go into work tomorrow like this.” 

she bites her lip to hide a smirk.��

he catches it and raises his eyebrows in response. 

“payback.”

“what?” he stutters, shaking his head. 

“those are nothing compared to what you gave me.”  

he scoffs and crosses his arms. tries to push away how roused he becomes when they bicker like this. 

“i didn’t hear any complaints while i was giving you them,” he counters. 

she rolls her eyes.

“can you get out? i need to shower.” 

“m’not done talking to you,” his eyes lock on her face. 

she puts her hand on her hip and scoffs, staring at him for a moment, studying his features. cursing how her body tingled from the argument. deliberating. 

“fine,” she concedes, threading her fingers under the hem of the borrowed shirt, lifting it up over her head to reveal her nudity. if he won’t leave, she’ll just shower anyways. 

carmen fights a groan at the sight, instead forcefully exhaling through his nose. 

she was right, the marks on his neck were nothing compared to the bruises littering her skin, trailing from her neck all the way down to her chest, ranging from red to purple to brown.

the girl turns to open the glass door of the shower, stepping in, watching as the man shamelessly admires her figure. she goes about her business as if he’s not there, submerging her head under the stream of water, carding her fingers through her hair to scrub her scalp. 

he’s not done talking to her, yet he can’t seem to remember what he even wanted to say, transfixed by her nude, wet body just feet away. she begins to hum a tune and lather up her hair with shampoo. 

carmen approaches the glass. 

“hey,” he tries with a knock, eyebrow twitching. something else twitching, too. 

she glances at him, suds dripping down the side of her face, sliding down her breasts. she smirks knowingly at the sight of his flustered face, pushing her chest out slightly before drenching her face underneath the water again. 

he knocks on the glass door again, jaw tightly clenched. she rubs the water out of her eye and turns to him, cracking the door of the shower open. 

“hm?” she questions, gazing up at him. 

“we gonna finish talking?” he asks. he looks angry, but she knows better. the way his chest puffs out. the way his jaw clenches in that certain way. he looks hungry, and she’s tempted to keep pushing.

“i can’t. i’m in the shower,” she bites down on her lip to refrain from smirking. 

“why-” a sigh, running his fingers through his hair, “why you being such a brat today, huh?” he strains, giving great effort to keep his gaze from trailing down. 

“because i want you to myself,” she bites, “i’m tired of sharing with claire.”

“will you knock that shit off? y’not sharing me with anyone.” 

“uh, i beg to differ,” her eyebrows scrunch, “you’ve been fucking around with her since i moved in.” 

“fucking around?” he scoffs, “she was getting her scarf.”

“there was the other time, too, carm,” she reminds him. 

“that’s because-” he lets out a sigh of exasperation, hand carding through his hair. “listen. she’s the last person i wanna be with. we just…weren't good together.”

“why not?” she presses 

“there just wasn’t…i dunno, sparks? it was like dating a friend.” 

“okay.” she’s still mad, but she likes the words that come from his mouth. because if she has one thing with carmen, it’s definitely sparks. 

“yeah?” he tries, leaning to see her face, “you know i’m yours, right?” 

“yeah. whatever.” she doesn’t want to concede, too fired up about claire coming back over. “you should’ve told me.”

“i knew it’d make you mad,” he defends. 

“not as mad as it makes me thinking that you invited her,” she scoffs, “fucking hate seeing that girl bat her eyelashes at you.” she lathers shampoo between her hands and begins to wash her hair. 

“yeah?” he raises his eyebrows, “feeling jealous?” 

“shut up.” she can sense the stupid smirk on his face. 

carmy’s concentration breaks, and his gaze flits down to her sudsy chest. fuck. he clears his throat before speaking. 

“didn’t know girls like you could get jealous.”

“girls like m-what? what is that supposed to mean?” she cracks an eye open. 

“means you’re too fuckin’ pretty to worry about that shit. so just lose the attitude.”

his answer catches her off guard. the pulsing between her legs catches her off guard too. so she just turns away from him, scrubbing her scalp with her soapy fingers and shutting her eyes tightly. 

he chides her name and pushes the glass door open further. 

she ignores him, soaking her hair under the stream of water, muffling his voice. her eyebrow twitches. 

carmy steps partially in and turns off the water, getting his shirt wet in the process. the girl’s eyes shoot open and she whips around to face him.

“what the fuck, carmy?!” 

“i need you to fuckin’ hear me.” his comes louder than he anticipated. “i don’t. want. claire.” 

she doesn’t even care anymore. his lips look so inviting, she thinks. his white shirt clings to his chest in the spot that got wet. 

she just looks at him for a moment. studies his frenetic expression. looks at his lips again. 

“are you gonna keep fucking fighting with me or are you gonna take that wet shirt off?” 

it takes him a half second of firm deliberation before he’s yanking his shirt over his head and pushing his sweatpants off. she grins as he roughly grabs her face and slams his lips against hers. 

he kisses her with a hungry frenzy, like he has something to prove.  

and they apologize to each other with their bodies yet again, as carmen lifts her against the cold tile and fucks her, coaxing and kissing and thrusting an orgasm out of her. 

he fucks her until it feels like all the hurting is gone. until she gets lovey and desperate for him. until he gets so worked up he groans promises about finding her in california and giving her a ring. 

by the time they finish, the water is cold and the girl begins to shiver. so the two quickly finish washing up and carmy wraps her in a towel. 

he retrieves one of his sweatshirts for her to wear, smoothing his hands over her arms to help warm her up. 

without many words exchanged, they decide to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie together. she lays her head on his lap and he cards his fingers through her hair absentmindedly. exchanging tenderness to help mend the argument. forgetting feelings of jealousy and shortcoming and guilt. 

they cozy up in carmen’s bed that night, taking a moment before falling asleep to just lay staring at each other. joking softly, touching each other sweetly.

he asks her about california, and watches with fascination as she lights up telling him about the beach she grew up next to. tells him about how when things would get bad at home she would sneak out her window and spend hours swimming in the salty water. letting the waves lap at her skin. letting the sun kiss her better. how it seems so dangerous looking back at it, but as kid nothing ever seemed that dangerous. it felt like nothing could hurt you. 

carmy enthusiastically agrees with her. follows her memory with his own anecdote of when donna took him, mikey, and nat to lake michigan and little carmy got separated from everyone. how he would have otherwise panicked and ran around and made the situation worse, but it was such a beautiful evening. so he decided to just sit on a rock and watch the waves roll in. 

a big smile grows on the girl's face as he recounts the moment when his mom found him. how she threw her arms around him and cried. how he was too young to understand why she was so scared when it was such a lovely evening. 

she wraps her arms around his shoulders and their chests press flush together. she kisses his neck, and they stay quiet for a moment. 

“i wish i didn’t have to go back,” she whispers her admission.

“me too.” he keeps playing with her hair.

it’s quiet for a moment. there’s a heaviness that fills the room. 

“how long you gonna have to end up staying?” carmy asks softly, leaning away from her to study her eyes. her face. trying to memorize every detail. he doesn’t miss the way her expression falters at his question. 

the girl doesn’t answer, and her eyes become glossy. 

“shit,” he breathes. her eyes dart to his. “you’re not coming back, are you?” 

“my whole family is there,” she whispers, “my friends. there’s nothing for me here.” 

“really?” he scoffs, “nothing at all?” 

“don’t start, carm.”

“y’know i fuckin’ love you,” he harshly whispers. she flinches slightly at the word. it feels so much heavier without the haze of lust. 

“all we ever do is fuck and fight.” 

“that’s not true,” he argues. 

“it is.” 

the man lets out a sigh of frustration, studying her eyes. her face. her lips. 

“it just…it feels right with you,” his tone softens. 

she doesn’t say anything for a moment, and fantasizes about leaving everything behind and building something in chicago, no matter how much she had grown to hate the weather. she fantasizes about the man in front of her. how she wants to build a life with him. how makes her feel like no other man ever has.

it’s hard to verbalize as her mind racks back and forth, so instead she just leans forward and kisses him softly, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. 

carmy reciprocates hesitantly, mind racing with the things he wants to tell her. how he doesn’t care about the distance. how he’ll call her every night. how he’ll keep her room vacant incase she wants to come back. he softly groans into the kiss when she slips her tongue into his mouth, feeling her press her chest flush against his. it feels so good, but he knows it’s wrong to keep pushing the hard conversations away with more sex. 

the girl finds his hand and softly guides it under the hem of her shirt. carmen lets her, fingertips finding the softness of her skin. but when she tries to pull his hand up to her breast, he stops the attempt, fingers firmly pressing against her ribs. 

the girl whines against his lips, moving closer. 

carmy indulges in the taste of her for only a moment more before pulling back and saying her name. she ignores him, chasing his lips, hand moving to grasp his strong bicep. 

“hey,” he turns his head and her kisses land messily along his jaw, “c’mon.” 

she ignores him, knowing he’ll want to keep talking about california, pressing herself closer, wanting to indulge in the feeling of him without thinking about the end. 

he calls her name again, voice coming out strained. she can feel his erection pressing against her, and keeps peppering kisses along his jaw and face. 

“just make me feel good,” she begs against his skin, “please.”

carmen feels himself throb against her, wanting nothing more than to give in. knowing it won’t fix anything. knowing it’ll only complicate things more. 

“thought you said all we do is fuck and fight?” his fingers grip into her, jaw tightening, feeling his resolve begin to crumble beneath her lips. 

“mhm,” she breathes into his skin, “so fuck me again,” trailing her hand down his bare abdomen.

he grips her wrist before she can move any further down. her eyes come up to meet his, taking in the stern look on his face. 

“i know you wanna,” she breathes, a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips, “can feel you throbbing against me.” 

carmen harshly exhales, trying to keep his mind focused. she’s completely right, he thinks, he’s stiff as wood. but he has to stay strong, prove to himself he has control around her.  

“stop fucking around. i wanna talk to you.” his voice comes more sharply than he means. 

the girl stiffens at his tone, pulling away to sit up and retreat. he doesn’t release her wrist. 

“let me go,” she tells him. 

“no. we’re gonna fuckin’ finish this,” his eyebrows furrow, “i didn’t even know you weren’t coming back until now.”

“i don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” her throat feels tight. 

“no? just want me to make you feel better? that all this is to you?” he can’t help the harshness of his tone. 

“carm, i-”

“y’know i’ve never fuckin’ felt this way about anyone? never said ‘i love you’ to anyone but you?” his nose scrunches, eyes appearing glossy. 

“we’ve only known each other for a few weeks.” her tone comes hushed as her chest painfully tightens. 

“yeah, well, i know you enough to know that this is real. that i don’t even-” a sigh, “ i don’t want anybody else but you.” 

“everything you’re saying is just gonna make it harder when i leave.” her voice breaks. 

his furrowed brows soften at the sound, releasing her wrist. she says seated on the bed, trying to take deep breaths and stave off the hot tears that threaten to form. 

“fuck, i-” he pauses, harshly rubs his hand over his face, taking a moment before meeting her eyes again and saying her name. “i like you. a lot.” 

“i know. i like you too, carm.” she rubs the tears away harshly.

“so why can’t we just…enjoy it? while you’re still here? go all out on this?” 

she stares at him blankly for a second as a cue to elaborate. 

the man exhales and shakes his head, trying to piece together what to say. he can’t seem to find the words. she thankfully cuts in. 

“go all out on this?” she asks.

he nods. 

“like, you wanna be my fuckin’…. boyfriend?” 

carmen can’t help the small smile that flashes across his face at the title. he tries to turn his head to hide it but she catches it, playfully shoving his arm. his smile turns to a chuckle. 

“shut up,” she grins, wiping the last stray tear away, “you so wanna be my boyfriend.”

he bring his arms to rest behind his head, staring up at the girl with a lazy smile. he studies her smile. her pretty face. they way in which she’s leaned in closer. 

“fuck yeah, i do. you kidding me?” 

her eyebrows raise at how assertively he says it. her head falls back, and she begins to laugh. partially out of joy and partially out of disbelief. the sound is hearty and sweet, and carmy finds himself wishing he’d make her laugh more. 

the girl leans over him, smile still gracing her face, and she plants a tender kiss against his lips. 

carmen gazes dreamily at her as she sits back up and tucks her hair behind her ears. her face is flushed, and she’s wearing an expression he can’t quite read. they keep staring at each other silently. 

“this is gonna be a bad idea, huh?” she asks after a moment. 

“why?” 

“why wouldn’t it be?” her eyes take in his handsome face. she thinks about how hard it’s gonna be to leave. 

“well…i like you,” he clears his throat, “a lot. actually i’m kind of fuckin’ crazy about you.” 

her gaze softens at this. he continues. 

“and i’m very attracted to you. and we, uh… we have great sex…”

“yeah, we do,” she concedes, “these are all good points.”

“so then, you’re my girlfriend.” 

“carmy…” she sighs, pausing. thinking of what to say. “i don’t like it here. i’ve felt homesick for the past year. i’m really not coming back.” her voice is quiet.

“yeah.” he nods, clearing his throat, “i know you’re not.” he knows, but it’s still hard to be reminded of. 

“so, you’re gonna be okay with that?” 

“i mean…i’m not okay with it, but i’ll deal with it if it means we get to spend these next few weeks together.”

she thinks for a moment, studying his genuine expression.

“okay…but if we do this, we have to promise each other that we’re not gonna get too attached. i really don’t want this to be messy. i like you too much.”

“it won’t be,” he assures, although it feels more like a prayer than a fact. 

“okay,” she whispers, “then you’re my boyfriend i guess.”

his eyes light up a bit at this, and a boyish grin breaks his face.  

“nice.” 

“you’re stupid.” she laughs at his response, lightly shoving his chest again. 

he reaches up and shoves her shoulder back playfully. 

“you are.” 

she scoffs and goes to shove him again, harder this time. he catches her wrist and pulls her forward so she can’t. the girl lets out a yelp of surprise, splaying out over him, face inches from his. 

the simple display of dominance makes her feel dizzy, placing her free hand on his firm chest to center herself. 

“why you like fighting so much, hm?” he asks, his breath ghosting over her lips, “you’re always testing.” 

she tries to pull her wrist away, but his grip is firm. 

“cause you’re…sexy when you’re mad,” she admits, eyes drooping to his lips. 

“i’m sexy when i’m mad?” he has a slight mocking tone. 

“mhm.” she can’t keep her eyes off his lips. “if i worked at your restaurant, i’d probably mess shit up on purpose just so you’d yell at me.”

“jesus,” he lets out a laugh, rubbing his free hand over his face, “what, you like when i get a little rough you?”

“n-no,” she blurts out. the way she averts her eyes immediately reveals her lie.

“yeah, i think you do,” he grins. 

she goes to defend herself again, but shuts her mouth when she can’t think of anything to say. it is kind of true, anyways.

“shut up,” she pushes his face away from her gently, “or else i’ll break up with you.”

this makes him fully laugh. it’s a really nice sound. she watches the way his face crinkles with the big smile. when his laugh fades, he reaches for her chin and pulls her into a gentle kiss. she sighs into the feeling, settling her body closer to his. 

“m’tired,” she mutters into his lips, “you exhaust me.”

carmy rolls his eyes at this. “c’mere.” he says, pulling the sheets back for her. 

the girl slips in next to him and presses her back against his chest, resting her head on his bicep. 

carmy reaches behind him to turn off the lamp, then wraps his arm securely around her. he plants a kiss on her neck and nuzzles his nose into her hair. 

boyfriend. 

he could get used to the title. 

-

carmen gets home late from work on a cold night, late into november, crashing down onto the couch and basking in the silence of the apartment. 

it was a long day in the kitchen, followed by meeting with a contracting crew to update some structural components after hours. 

he had finally taken off after being there for almost 12 hours straight, begrudgingly leaving the renovations to be overseen by richie after having snapped at the crew for the third time. 

he hears soft footsteps padding down the hall, and opens his eyes to see his girlfriend. his sweet, perfect, sexy fucking girlfriend. and it’s like a breath of fresh air, especially after not having seen her the past few days. and she’s wearing a tiny pair of shorts with a crop top that barely covers the curve of her breasts. 

it’s like a reward, he thinks to himself, for all the bullshit he put up with today at the restaurant. 

“welcome home,” she greets, walking past the couch and into the kitchen. 

“hey,” he returns, eyes following her, gaze raking down her backside as she gets herself a glass of water. 

“how was work?” she’s oblivious to the way he’s hungrily looking at her, oblivious to how pent up he feels. 

“long,” he responds, eyes trailing up the length of her legs. 

she lets out a hum of acknowledgement, turning to face him and taking a long sip of water. she catches him watching her intently, his arm stretched out over the back of the couch and neck craned. 

“enjoying the view?” comes her tease.

“y’look good,” he defends. 

“yeah?” 

“mhm.” 

the girl sets her glass down and begins to saunter to the couch. carmen’s eyes follow her closely. 

“how good?” she stops in front of him. 

“good enough to eat.” a small smile twitches the edge of his lip. 

“yeah? wanna taste?” her hands come to her hips, and she pushes her chest out slightly. 

fuck. he shamelessly looks her up and down. this was getting to be dangerous territory. 

“do you wanna go to out to dinner this week?” he changes course, watching her brain stutter for a second. 

“wh-dinner?” 

he nods, resting his head against his hand. she pauses for a moment, studying his face. 

“where?” 

“wherever you want.”

“like…a date?” 

“mhm,” a smirk tugs at the edge of his lips, “cause you’re, uh…my girlfriend now.” 

a grin breaks her face. she thinks for a moment. 

“can we go to your restaurant?” 

“uh…yeah, i guess we can.”

“you guess?” she asks. 

“yeah, we can go. but you’re probably gonna get a lot of, uh…attention.” he admits hesitantly. 

“from who? your staff?” 

he nods. they would probably lose their shit seeing him bring in a girl to eat dinner with. not to mention a girl that looks like her. 

“okay,” she nods, “i’ll dress cute. you can help me pick.”

“yeah?” he likes the sound of that. 

“mhm. whatever you want.” 

carmen rubs his hand over his face then locks his eyes on her again. this girl is going to be the death of him. 

“c’mere,” he beckons.

the girl gently steps forward, standing in between his spread legs. his hand comes to the back of her thigh as he sits forward, gazing up at her with those big blue eyes. he looks so handsome, and she can’t help but place her hands on his face and lean in to kiss him. 

it’s gentle and sweet, and it only makes him want more, tightening his grip on her leg as she pulls away. 

“you taste minty,” she says softly, still leaning over him, stroking her thumb across his face. 

“you sure?” he’s fixated on her lips, “might wanna check again.” he definitely is minty from the nicorette gum he’d been chewing. but it’s worth a shot.

this makes her smile. and she does check again. decides it’s spearmint she tastes. 

before she can pull back, carmy pulls her forward to straddle him. she makes a sound of surprise, but leans into it, wrapping her arms around his neck and continuing to kiss him.

“missed you today,” he slips in between kisses.

“liar,” she smiles against his lips. 

his hands come to her hips, pulling her against him. 

“nah, it’s true,” another kiss, “couldn’t stop fuckin’ thinking about you.” 

“prove it.” she grinds against his bulge, making him tighten his grip. 

“lay down,” he growls, pulling away. there’s a dark gleam in his eyes. 

“or else what?” she challenges 

he grabs both sides of her thighs and stands up with her still straddling his waist, turning and dropping her back onto the couch. 

okay, he’s not in the mood for arguing anymore. good to know. 

carmen cages her with his arms and kisses her deeply before trailing his lips down her jaw, neck, collarbones, only being stopped by the neckline of her shirt. he glances up at her, and she eagerly takes it off. he smiles at the silent act of obedience and continues kissing down her body, barely giving any attention to her breasts before his lips come to her stomach. the girl huffs at this, and he pretends to not notice. 

“what are you doing?” she strains, watching as his lips come to rest just above the waistband of her shorts. 

“m’getting my taste,” he replies casually 

“carmy,” she chides, face becoming red and hot. 

“what?” his fingers hook her waistband, “you embarrassed or something?” another kiss on her hipbone. 

she is, inexplicably. and vulnerable and exposed and horny all at the same time. she hides her face in her arms instead of responding, feeling him slide the shorts down her legs, left clad only in a thin pair of panties. 

carmy hooks his arms around her legs and pulls her closer to his mouth, pressing slow, firm kisses to her covered mound.

the girl lets out a labored breath at the heat of his lips against her clit as he begins to place wet, open mouthed kisses on her covered pussy. her cotton underwear becomes damp with his tongue, and she arches into the feeling with a sharp breath in. 

carmy nuzzles the fabric and deeply inhales, letting out a low groan.

“ah- don’t do that!” the girl tries to clamp her legs shut out of embarrassment, but he holds them firmly in place and presses his face closer to her core, continuing to kiss and suck her through the fabric. 

“you smell good,” carmy defends. “and these are cute,” he snaps the band of her panties. 

she can hardly even process the statement before he starts sliding them down her thighs, bunching up the fabric and putting it in his pocket. 

“hey, you can’t have those,” she strains. 

there’s a delay in carmen’s response—too busy studying her soft pussy up close, lips gleaming with wetness, bundle of nerves twitching under his gaze. 

“i’ll, uh…make it up to you,” his eyes stay fixed on the glorious sight upon him. 

he leans in, flattens his tongue against her clit, and begins to gently lick. 

the girl gasps, and her hands fly down to grab his hair as she releases a whine of pleasure. 

the tantalizing licks to her clit are gentle. almost not enough. she tugs on his hair and tries to scoot forward, so he eases his tongue back. 

when his eyes flicker to her face. her skin is flushed, lip clamped between her teeth, and she’s looking at him hungrily. 

“y’so pretty,” he presses a kiss to her clit, “taste so fuckin’ good.” 

her head falls back and she breathes out sharply. it’s too much to keep making eye contact with him. the slow, teasing licks are the only thing she can concentrate on. 

“you gonna say thank you?” it’s more of a demand than a question, as he glides his finger over her entrance, collecting her syrupy wetness. 

“n-no,” she struggles, face hot and red. 

thank you, really? how embarrassing. 

his tongue flicks over her clit repeatedly, his finger dips inside of her opening ever so slightly. 

“no?” his lips close around her clit and he sucks, cherishing the sound of the first moan she allows to slip out. 

“mmm,” she whines in response, beginning to pant at the feeling of his mouth. 

“c’mon, be a good girl for me?” unlikely, but he asks anyways

“i am,” she argues, pulling his head towards her needy heat. he scoffs at this and continues to swirl his tongue around her clit.

“then say thank you.”

“carm, i’m not saying-ah thank you!” she cuts herself off with a moan as he sinks his finger inside of her. “y’welcome” he replies lowly, a smirk fighting to break his face. 

“shut up. i didn’t-mmh! …mean it like that.”

she sits up onto her forearms, watching him curl his digit upwards inside of her, trying to keep it together. 

“you’re so fuckin’ cute.” he growls, then dives forward to taste her again. his fingers curl rhythmically, tongue lightly swirling her sensitive clit, giving her barely enough stimulation to get by. 

“more,” she whines, bucking her hips up slightly. he gives her a disapproving glance, so she adds a “please”. 

“yeah?” he kisses her clit. 

she frantically nods her head, trying to scoot closer to the man, trying to buck her hips against his hand. 

carmen speeds up the pace of his fingers, sucking her clit into his mouth, free hand gripping onto her thigh. 

“yeah,” she moans, “fuck, you’re so good at that.”

he preens at the praise and swirls her clit with his tongue, beginning to lap at her pussy. when he adds a second finger she cries out his name.

the view above him in combination with how sweet she sounds leaves his cock pulsing beneath his denim. he reaches down with his free hand, undoing his belt buckle and unzipping his pants. he just needs a little something to keep him from fucking her into the couch. 

as he goes to wrap his fingers around his cock, he’s interrupted by the harsh buzz of his phone on the table.

the girl startles at this, and both of their eyes dart to the contact tag. 

fucking richie. 

he doesn’t stop the movement of his fingers, and leans back in to taste her again, ignoring the loud vibrations. he begins to softly stroke himself, groaning into her pussy. 

“do you need to-ah… to get that?

“no,” he replies sharply, “y’taste too fuckin’ good to stop.”

the girl whimpers at the sound of his voice. at how low and raspy and hungry it sounds. 

“let me taste,” her plead comes breathily. 

carmen nearly groans at her request, more than willing to happily oblige. he licks a long stripe up her pussy, collecting her slick on his tongue, then leans over for a kiss. the girl eagerly (and messily) accepts his lips, swirling her tongue around his own, tasting her juices. she tasted herself before off his fingers, but it’s so much better off his tongue. she moans appreciatively and holds the sides of his face, pulling him in for deeper, sloppier, wetter kisses. the vibration of the phone stops, and his fingers continue their pace, curling into her heat, beginning to produce a squelching sound from the slick of her arousal. 

“yes!” she cries into his lips, eyes nearly rolling back into her head. 

“so perfect, y’know that?” he punctuates his words with the thrust of his fingers, gently biting at the girl’s bottom lip. 

she’s only able to muster a moan in response, trailing her hand down her stomach to circle her neglected clit, babbling out a string of “yes yes yes yes.”

the phone vibrates harshly atop the edge of the table again, falling to the floor with a loud thud. 

“fuck!” carmen exclaims, ripping his hand out of his pants. he stops curling his fingers inside of her and leans down to angrily grab his phone. the girl lets out a cry of protest. 

“carmy m’so close, please,” she begs pathetically. grabbing at his arm. 

“be quiet,” he hushes her, scooting back down to his previous position between her legs, “can y’do that for me?” 

she nods eagerly, biting down on her lip. 

carmen answers the call with a harsh “what?” and rolls his eyes at the voice that blares through the other line. 

his fingers remain engulfed in her heat, and he begins to slowly curl them again. the girl lets out a sharp breath and he shoots her a warning look, mouthing a stern “quiet.”

he puts the call on speakerphone, then places it on her stomach, leaning down to softly lick her clit. the girls eyes widen in surprise. a loud voice begins to come through the phone. 

“-that he was going to do it anyways, but i said ‘no way, carmy would have a fuckin’ bitch fit if we didn’t ask!’ so don’t answer the phone all fuckin’ mad, it’s not my fault,” the voice at the other line loudly rambles. carmy lifts his mouth from her pussy to respond

“jesus, richie, just look at the fucking floor plan.” 

“you don’t think we tried that? the vents aren’t lining up with the floor pla- what is that sound?” 

carmy curls his fingers a bit faster, pressing his tongue flat against her clit instead of answering. the girl gasps, convinced her lip is going to start bleeding from how hard she’s biting down on it. 

his eyes flicker up to her, and she mouths a “what the fuck?” 

like an asshole, he just grins in response. 

“hello?? earth to asshole,” richie’s voice cuts in loudly, “what the fuck are you doing over there?” 

carmen pulls away from her pussy with wet lips. he looks pretty, she thinks, like he has lipgloss on or something. 

“m’eating dessert,” he responds truthfully. the girl’s faces grows incredibly hot. 

“you wh- dessert? what is it, is it good?”

“fuck, richie, you-” he sighs, “forget about the vents,” he begins to rub gentle circles around her clit, “just have them do the pipes and go home. and stop fucking calling me.” 

“you think i wanted to call you, you fuckin’ baby? it’s gonna be an extra $200 for them to come back tomorrow and…” he continues to ramble on. meanwhile the girl holds onto carmy’s shoulder, digging her nails in, trying to anchor herself. the feeling of his fingers plunging into her is incredible, and there’s an unexpected rush at the risk of being listened to. of being caught.

carmen laps at her pussy, then closes his lips around her clit and sucks gently. he keeps doing this rhythmically, curling his fingers up into her core, continually switching between gentle licks and slurping and sucking. it’s a particularly deep thrust of his fingers that make her release her lip from her teeth and cry out loudly.

“ah-!” 

carmy’s eyes dart upwards at the moan, watching as she claps a hand over her mouth in shock. 

“what the fuck was that?” richie’s voice sounds after a pause. 

carmen, without a care that they could be caught, continues eating the girl out, giving her a look that says “you are so getting it.”

“hello?? are you watching porn or something, you fuckin’ weirdo?”

he rolls his eyes at the accustation, why would he be watching porn while on the phone? 

“no, i’m not watching fucking porn, richie. finish the vents tomorrow, i’m not arguing about this anymore. goodnight.” he grows increasingly impatient, and it reflects in the quickened pace of his fingers. 

“wait, wait, one more thing-”

“fuck, what?!” carmen snaps. 

the girl lets out a sound of exasperation, coming up on a perpetual orgasm then being denied every time he removes his mouth. the pressure is growing to be unbearable, and she softly whines a “carmyy.”

“i know, baby, i got you,” he whispers back, barely loud enough for her to hear. he brings his mouth to suck on her clit again while richie continues yapping about the fucking vents. fuck the vents. 

carmy just watches the girl’s face, tuning out the voice from the phone. he studies how flushed she is—from her cheeks all the way down to her chest. how she seems like she’s barely holding on. how her legs begin to tremble. how she tries desperately to keep from making noise, pressing her lips together firmly, eyes screwed shut, breathing ragged. 

the wet, squelching sound from her pussy begins to sound again, juices flooding down his fingers, soaking his hand. it feels unbelievable and she begins to lose patience. 

“carm, hang up,” she cries, much louder than she means to. richie’s voice stops in its tracks. 

“are you f-what the hell are you doing?” he asks, “who is that?”  

“none of your fuckin’ buisness,” carmy snaps, “the central vent is the one that’s the most fucked up, so get it sealed and go the fuck home. and don’t fucking call me again.” 

“yeah, yeah, whatever. you have fun over there, assh-” carmy hangs up the phone and tosses it onto the floor. 

“what the fuck, carm?” she asks exasperatedly, face fully flushed. 

“you’re not very good at staying quiet.” 

“you were- ah!” she loses her sentence as he dips back down to swirl her clit with his tongue. 

“i was what?” he mutters into her wetness, slipping his free hand back into his pants. 

“you were doing that!” she cries, tangling her fingers in his curls.

“it feel good?” he laps at her cunt, rhythmically curling his fingers. 

“yeah,” she cries, “please don’t stop again. please.” 

a small smirk breaks on his face at how nicely she’s able to ask, even after being tormented with interruptions moments ago. he rewards her by continuing his steady pace, keeping everything constant, coaxing an orgasm out of her. 

he squeezes the head of his cock, stroking the length of it faster now. she tastes so good, and the sounds she’s making are so pretty, it’s easy to lose himself in the pleasure. 

she bucks her hips against his face, getting his nose wet. her grip on his hair tightens. her body feels hotter, hotter, hotter and-

“carm-!” she gasps, “fuck, baby, that’s so good. m’gonna cum. please keep doing that pleasepleasepleasebabyyesyesyes,” she babbles, grinding her hips against his face, practically riding his fingers which curl so deliciously inside of her. the man has to force himself to not stop and make a snarky comment about how cute she sounds when she’s all fucked out like this . 

with a final few curls of his fingers and another swirl of his tongue, she’s coming completely undone. her head falls back and she rides out the orgasm shakily. 

he bucks his hips into his hand with fervor, groaning into her pussy as he feels himself approaching an embarrassingly easy climax. 

she clenches around his fingers, and he wriggles them as deeply as he can, swirling her clit with his tongue. 

the girl lets out a cry, feeling herself be pushed far past her peak, hand flying down to grab his wrist. 

“ah-carm, s’too much.” 

“you can take it, yeah?” he growls, rutting into his hand. he’s so close. just needs to taste her for a little longer. there’s a hot pulse surging throughout his body. 

the girl’s breathing becomes loud, a rapid inhale exhale inhale exhale. 

at the labored sound, he takes some mercy on her and stops moving his fingers, focusing solely on lapping at her throbbing clit. his cock twitches in his hand, and with a few final frenzied pumps, he cums into his palm.

“fuck,” he groans, resting his head on her pelvis for a moment. the two of them bask in the post-orgasm high, catching their breaths. carmen’s jaw aches a bit. he plants one last kiss on her oversensitive clit, then pulls away, easing his fingers out slowly.

“kiss me,” she pleads breathily, feeling slightly dizzy from the orgasm. 

“yeah? wanna taste yourself again?” his voice is low, kind of raspy. 

she nods eagerly.

he leans over and, to her surprise, shoves his fingers in her mouth, swirling them around her tongue, making sure she gets every drop she left behind. the girl enthusiastically cleans his fingers, taking them deeply into her mouth. 

the moment he eases them out, he dives into her lips hungrily, shoving his tongue in her mouth, tasting the heavenly mix of her saliva and arousal. 

she grabs his face and licks her cum from the side of his lips, from his chin, gathering it before kissing him frantically again. 

“mm, thank you,” she mutters against his lips sweetly. 

“y’welcome.” he loves how she thanks him. 

the taste is intoxicating, and he’s tempted to lick her pussy again just so the both of them can continue to indulge. but there’s a sticky mess on his hand and the inside of his boxers, so he pulls away from her lips, and grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table. 

the girl’s eyes widen in surprise as he eases his cum-covered hand out of his boxers.

“is that- did you..?”

he wipes the white substance off his hand, small small teasing the edge of his lips. 

“uh…yeah. that was, um… that was really hot,” he admits.  

“yeah, except the part where you put me on the phone with your employee.”

“nah…” he shakes his head, a smirk on his face, “i think you liked that.”

“wha-no i did not,” her eyes widen, “it was so embarrassing.” it was embarrassing, but it really turned her on—not that he needs to know that.  

“embarrassing?”

“yes, embarrassing! get that dumb grin off your face, it was!” 

this only makes him smile harder, beginning to laugh. 

“yeah? that why you soaked my fuckin’ fingers?” 

she sits up and reaches for her tank top, a bashful expression on her face. 

“no. that’s just because it felt good.” 

“you were squeezing me like crazy trying to stay quiet,” he continues to try and provoke her, liking how feisty she becomes. 

“give me my panties back.” the girl rolls her eyes and ignores his statement. 

“what panties?” he asks cluelessly. 

“carmy.”

“yeah, baby?” 

she scoffs and mutters a “whatever” before standing up and slipping on her shorts. pantiless. there’s a creeping blush on her face as she wonders what he even wants them for. 

“so, tomorrow?” he asks before she can walk away, “for our date?” 

she pauses, then nods. 

“but we’re not going to your restaurant.” 

“why not?” there’s a small smirk on his face. 

she gives him a look that says, because you just ate me out on the phone with the guy that would probably be serving us, dumbass, but stays quiet, beginning to walk to the stairs 

carmen lets out a chuckle, and stands to follow her after cleaning his hand off. he hooks the waistband of her shorts and pulls her back. hands coming to her hips to steady her, his chest flush against her back. 

“c’mon, don’t be like that,” he leans down to kiss her neck. she can feel his smirk against her skin, “you hungry? y’eat yet?” 

she shakes her head no, closing her eyes at the sensation of his kisses. 

“no you didn’t eat or no you’re not hungry?” he asks, nipping the skin below her earlobe. 

“both,” she exhales, leaning back against him, her hands coming overtop his. she suddenly notices how big they are splayed out over her hips.

“you haven’t eaten dinner yet?” he stops kissing her. 

“m’not hungry,” she breathes, “keep kissing me there.”

he removes his hands from her hips and steps back. she lets out a noise of disappointment and turns to face him with a pout. he doesn’t see this, though, already walking to the kitchen and turning on the light to make her something. 

“carmy,” she calls, following him, “it’s late. let’s just go to bed.”

he ignores her, opening their cabinets to retrieve a box of spaghetti. 

“hey,” she grabs his arm, leaning to meet his eyes, “come on. i wanna cuddle.” 

“we will. but i’m gonna make you dinner first.” his voice is firm. he pulls his arm away from her and reaches down to grab a pot. 

he’s so demanding. but the gesture makes her feel incredibly affectionate towards the man, so it’s hard to be mad at.

as he fills the pot with water, the girl snakes her arms around his waist and hugs him from behind, pressing herself flush against his back. 

“thank you,” she mumbles into his shirt, taking a deep breath of their shared laundry detergent. her hand sneaks under his shirt and she drags her fingers into the deep cut of his v line. 

carmen reaches his hand behind him, caressing her hip without saying anything in response. 

she pulls away after a moment and he puts the pot of water on to boil. 

“you eating enough?” 

his question catches her off guard. 

“i- what?” 

“you heard me.” he crosses his arms.

she stares at him for a moment, studying his tightly set jaw. the way it twitches a bit.

“yeah, i am.”  

“yeah?” he looks like he doesn’t believe her. 

and maybe she had been a bit forgetful lately, missing breakfast, oftentimes coming home too tired to make dinner and opting for a snack instead. she didn't think he had been so observant, though. 

“yes.” her tone is quiet. 

he just stares at the girl silently, striking blue eyes boring a hole into her. she crumbles under his gaze. 

“i’ve just been…stressed. i don’t know. haven’t had much of an appetite.”

“what are you stressed about?” 

“going back home i guess,” she admits quietly, shuffling on her feet. 

he doesn’t respond, giving her the opportunity to elaborate without pressure. 

“i just- it’s gonna be hard. y’know when i told you my mom and i have a complicated relationship?” 

he nods, and she continues. 

“yeah, that was like…understatement of the year.” 

he nods, a knowing look on his face. 

“yeah, no. i, uh…i know exactly what you mean.” he really does. 

“and um, she’s sick. like, not entirely there,” she points to her head, “so she gets really mean. but then she can also be the nicest, most motherly person. its just…really unpredictable.” 

it was almost uncanny, the way in which he pictures donna as she gives her description. 

“i, uh…yeah. i get it,” he clears his throat, “i’ve dealt with someone like that my whole life.” he intently locks eyes with her, wishing he could say more to alleviate her dread. 

“how did-how do you deal with it?” she asks quietly, after a moment. 

“i, uh…i don’t really?” he rubs his neck, letting out a sardonic chuckle, “i haven’t talked to her in…months probably.”

“really?” 

“yeah, i’ve, um…been kind of an asshole, actually. my sister is really the only one that deals with her.” 

“you’re not an asshole,” she locks eyes with him, “well, sometimes you are. but not cause of that. that’s more like a…i dunno, a defense response.”

he laughs at her bluntness. 

“so i am an asshole, just not for that?” 

“correct.”

“how am i an asshole?” 

“you’ve been trying to make me jealous since i got here.” 

“not trying. it actually worked very well.” he has a stupid smile on his face when he says that. 

“shut up!” she laughs, shoving her hands against his chest as hard as she can. he barely moves from it, grabbing both her wrists firmly with an amused look on his face. she struggles against his grip, trying to shake the feeling of arousal that comes with how easily he’s able to overpower her. 

“why’re you so fiesty, huh?” he grins, pulling her closer. 

“cause you’re a fucker, that’s why.” she tries again to pull her arms back, but to no avail. her face feels hot, and she becomes hyper aware of the fabric touching her skin, the hair on her neck, the tingle of the rough grip on her wrists. his face is much closer now, and she fights the urge to lean forward and indulge.

“yeah?” 

“mhm,” her response overlaps his. 

“what are you gonna do about it?” he mocks, “huh?”

her eyes flicker down his face. he has a stupid fucking smirk plastered on his lips. fuck, she wants to kiss him. 

an idea pops into her head. 

the girl leans forward, gently ghosting her lips over his own. her tongue darts out and she licks his bottom lip, then sucks it into her mouth and bites softly. then she gives him a soft and gentle barely there kiss. 

she feels his grasp on her wrist loosen, so she splays her hand over his chest. 

her lips hover over his for just a moment more, and then she shoves him. 

carmy stumbles back slightly, less prepared that time, hands coming behind him to steady himself on the counter. when he meets her eyes again he has a dark glint in his eyes. almost like anger, but hungrier.

the next thing she knows, he yanks her into his chest, grabs her hip and roughly bends her over the countertop. 

she just thinks to herself, finally. 

carmen tugs her hips back until her forearms fall to the counter and she arches her spine. until she’s flush with his pelvis and he’s pressing his achingly hard cock against her ass. 

“such a bratty fuckin’ girl,” his tone is rough, strained.  “you know that? fuckin’ had it with you.” 

“i’m n-” she cuts herself off with a gasp as he harshly tugs the waistband of her shorts up, wedging the fabric between her cheeks and giving himself a nice view of the supple skin.

“you’re what?” he smooths his hand over her ass, watching her arch into his touch. watching as she opens her mouth to say something, then close, staying silent and shuffling her hips against his groin. 

carmen lets out a groan—half frustration, half arousal, smoothing his hands over her hamstrings and firmly squeezing the soft flesh before trailing back up to her ass. 

“you doing this on purpose?” both hands grab her ass, kneading, pulling her closer against his hardness. 

no response. she can’t, not without moaning. 

“hmm?” he shoves his hips forward into her, “you trying to get a reaction outta me tonight? or are y’really just that fucking bratty?” the hand gripping her flesh squeezes harder. 

“i-mmh…that-…keep doing that.” she chooses to ignore his question. 

“answer me.”

still nothing. 

“you want me to spank you? cause that’s what’s gonna happen if you keep this shit up.”

his words make her stomach flip. of course she does. she hides her smile in her arms and stays quiet, pushing back into him. hoping he’ll stick to his words. 

carmen raises his hand, and cracks it down on her right cheek, grabbing the flesh immediately after to ease some of the sting. 

“ah-!” she grips the countertop, arching her spine. his hand leaves behind a hot, tingling sensation, flooding through her body like a wave. 

“y’okay?” he tries to sound caring but his tone comes out rough, heavy with arousal. 

“yeah.” better than okay. incredibly horny, actually.  “that hurt?” his hand smooths over the reddening skin. 

“no,” she shakes her head, pushing back against him again, “thought you were gonna spank me.”

she cranes her neck trying to get a look at the man. his pupils are blown, face is rosy, and when she meets his eyes there’s a dangerous glint to them. 

he wedges her shorts up higher, exposing more of her ass, then smacks her in the same spot without warning. harder this time. 

“fuck-!” she gasps sharply. it hurts, but in a way that has her pressing her thighs together desperately to try and get some relief. 

“can you take one more, pretty girl?” 

“yeah,” she whines enthusiastically, shuffling her hips back against his groin. 

“yeah? y’so tough, baby.” his voice has a slight mocking edge to it as he does everything in his power to not yank the shorts down her legs and fuck her into the counter. 

“just…shut up and do it.” she tries to mask her eagerness, but it doesn’t work very well. 

he scoffs, and rubs his large hand over her supple skin. when he feels her relax, he raises it and cracks down on her other cheek. 

she partially muffles the loud cry by biting down on her forearm, feeling a few tears begin to form in her eyes. 

“you have such a cute ass, y’know that?” he squeezes both of her cheeks in tandem, pulling them apart, pushing them together, “can already see the handprints forming.” his voice is low and rough.

“wh-really?” her brain feels fuzzy with desire as she tries to switch gears. 

“you wanna see?” 

she nods her head frantically, butterflies arising at the thought. 

carmen pulls his phone out of his back pocket and holds it over her, snapping a picture with a low groan. 

“look back at me,” he demands softly. 

she does, peering over her right shoulder to see him holding the camera facing her. the embarrassment makes her face feel hot, but she lets him take the picture anyway, looking into the lense with a small pout on her face. 

“so fucking pretty,” he growls, lowering the phone and clicking on the picture he took, admiring it for a moment before turning the phone so she could see. 

it was quite the picture—cherry red handprints over her round ass, shorts wedged up so far they look like underwear, the curves of her body accentuated by the angle. 

carmy swipes to the left and reveals the photo of her looking back at the camera, all flushed cheeks and pouty lips and misty eyes. she knows she should probably feel embarrassed, but seeing herself like that just makes the throbbing between her legs intensify. 

carmen turns off the phone and puts it back in his pocket. he leans over and grabs her face, studying her with furrowed brows before leaning down kissing her firmly. 

“you okay?” another kiss, “really?”

she nods, eagerly reciprocating the kiss, moaning a soft “mhm” against his lips.  

“didn’t hurt too bad?” his brows are furrowed, their movements beginning to quicken. she slips her tongue into his mouth and she begins to kiss him faster, losing herself in his lips. 

carmy reciprocates for a moment before muttering a gentle “hey,” pulling back a bit, “answer me.” his gaze flickers over the sheen on her cheeks, left behind from a few stray tears. 

her eyes flutter open, fighting the urge to not chase his lips. 

“it didn’t hurt,” she affirms hazily, “felt good. can you put it in? please?”

“jesus, christ” he groans, dipping back in for another kiss, “want me to fuck you? needy fuckin’ girl.”

she nods with a small, bashful smile and softly nips at his bottom lip, fighting the urge to bite harder. 

carmen straightens to his previous position behind her and slips his fingers beneath the hem of her bunched up shorts. he pulls them to the side to reveal her glistening pussy, letting out a sharp exhale at the sight. he’s about to reach out and touch her when she gasps.

“carm, the water.”

it angrily bubbles and pours down the sides of the pot, sizzling when it splashes onto the flames. 

“fuck,” he pulls away from her, quickly moving to turn off the burner. “stay right there.” 

and she would’ve, had another fucking phone not started ringing. 

the girl cries out his name frustratedly, just wanting him to come back over and fuck her brains out. 

“it’s not mine this time,” carmy defends, adjusting the tent of his pants. he’s so hard it’s almost painful, increasingly eager to get back behind her. 

she huffs and straightens, readjusting the uncomfortably wedged-up shorts as she follows the sound of the ringer. when she retrieves her phone from between the couch cushions, her heart drops at the contact name. 

mom.

in a single moment it’s like the air gets sucked from her lungs. her skin stops tingling with that warm heat, body stops buzzing with pleasure—all the good feelings flood from her suddenly. 

carmen wipes down the stove, drying the water that had boiled over before refilling the pot and turning the heat back on. his roommate talks in a hushed, urgent tone in the living room, and he tries to refrain from curiously moving closer and eavesdropping. curiosity almost gets the better of him, but a few more moments pass and he hears delicate footsteps approaching. 

he looks up, and catches the sight of her tear-streaked face. her big, sad eyes. a pit forms in his stomach. 

“everything okay?” he’s unable to hide the concern in his tone. 

she doesn’t say anything. she can’t. so she just rushes forward and crashes into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. 

“hey,” he soothes, tightly reciprocating the hug, “what happened?” he kisses the side of her head. 

it takes her a minute before she’s able to verbalize, just wanting to nuzzle herself as far into his chest as she can, wishing she could just disappear into him completely. 

he says her name, pulling away slightly to get a look at her sweet, sad face. “what’s goin’ on, huh?” 

“i’m going back next week,” it’s hard to make eye contact with him, so she looks to the side with blurry vision. 

“what?” it’s like a punch in the stomach. 

“i-…my mom,” she sighs exasperatedly, “she’s just getting worse,” at this point the tears stream down her cheeks. 

he cups her face with both hands, wiping them away with his thumbs. he just stares at her, not knowing exactly what to say to make this shitty situation better. 

“i’m-….fuck, i’m sorry.” he puts his forehead on hers, “m’so so sorry.” he doesn’t know exactly what he’s apologizing for—the state of her mother or the dread of her sudden departure. either way, there’s this overwhelming feeling of loss trying to wrap his head around how soon next week really is. 

“m’gonna go to bed,” she mutters, tightly closing her eyes to stop the flow of tears, nose brushing against his. 

“you don’t wanna eat with me?” 

she gives a small shake of her head, having lost her appetite at the news. 

carmy wants to push it. but she just looks so tired and sad, he figures it’s better not to. his hand comes to the back of her neck, and he pulls her into a bear hug, kissing the side of her head. 

“go wait in my bed for me,” another kiss, “i’ll be up in a bit.”

“i need a shower,” she mutters into his neck, “you made me all…sticky.”

he can’t help but let out a humorous exhale, finding a small bit of relief from her words. 

“yeah? sorry about that.” he has a soft, barely there smile on his face. 

“you know i love you, carmy?” 

her quiet confession stops his train of thought. stops the noise of it all. it kind of feels like it even stops his heart, just for a second.

it was something she hadn’t yet said to him without the hazy high of lust. something she had been waiting on until it felt real. 

carmen eases away from the tight hug, getting a good look at her face. she’s entirely genuine, brows furrowed and eyes glossy, searching his expression for reassurance. he dips forward and kisses her softly, hand caressing her cheek. 

“i know,” his thumb traces along her jaw, “i love you too.”

she turns her head to the side and kisses his hand.

“you gonna come to california with me?” she softly bites his thumb. 

“yeah, baby.” he nods. it’s a lie, and they both know that. 

sometimes it’s easier to fantasize about what could be than accept what never will. 

-

it’s far too late into the night by the time carmen has eaten and showered. he blearily trudges down the hall and pushes his door open. and like a breath of fresh air, there she was. cuddled up in his blankets, face buried in his pillow. it feels incredibly domestic, and he finds himself wishing he could come home to this every night of his life. 

carmen eases into bed slowly as to not wake her, shuffling his body against hers. then he just watches her for a bit. 

he watches her chest rise and fall. watches the way her lips slightly part with her heavy breaths. she looks so peaceful unconscious, like there isn’t a worry in the world. 

he thinks about how selfishly he wants to keep that placating expression on her face. wants to keep her to himself. thinks about how selfishly he wishes she didn’t even have a family to return to—how fucked up is that?  it’s almost surreal, staring at her sleeping form, mourning her loss while she’s still in front of him. tangible and soft and beautiful and sleeping right there. 

carmen reaches out and strokes her cheek at the thought, then leans in to press a gentle kiss to her resting lips. it doesn’t make him feel better like he thought it would. 

he turns off the light and pulls her in close. 

-

pt 2 of i didn't know

[daisybianca]

pairing: charles leclerc x femalereader

summary: you and charles are childhood friends since like... forever?! one day, you're reading one of those books you very much like to read and he gets curious, wondering what it is about. little does he know that you're actually reading literal porn.

warnings: mentions of sexual activities, cursing words

(a/n): i got the main idea from character.ai and @ blairetaylorsversion ! Go check her work out. She's got fluffy, spicy, and also angsty stuff to read about <3

YOU SAT ON the warm beach sand, reading a book, while your friends swam and played in the water. You were so focused on the spicy scene you were reading that you didn't notice Charles leaning over your shoulder, trying to also get a glimpse of the action. When you finally did, you jumped slightly, caught off guard by his presence. A smirk formed on his lips as he saw your face turn slightly red from embarrassment.

"Shit, you scared me, you creep!"

Charles laughed slightly, before saying, "Oops, sorry!"

He looked back down at the book in your hands and raised his eyebrows, looking pretty intrigued.

"What are you reading there?" he asked playfully.

"None of your business." Your tone was sharp.

"Well aren't you a bit sassy today, huh?" he said with a smile.

He leaned back in the beach chair next to yours, keeping his arms crossed and looking back at the book. You could tell by his facial expression that he felt stubborn and was determined to see what you were reading.

"I'm not telling you what I'm reading about."

"Aww really? Why not? You can't make me super interested in something and then deny giving me the details..." he said with a pout.

With that, he tried to reach out and take the book from your hands. When he grabbed it, his hand brushed against yours, causing him to look up at you instantly.

"Hey, quit it, Charles!"

Charles looked up at you with a small smirk. He wasn't giving in that easily.

"I'm not gonna stop until you tell me," he said, trying to look innocent.

He refused to let go of the book and was pulling it back towards his side.

"Oh, come on. Why do you even care?!"

You started to feel a slight flutter in your stomach when he wouldn't let go of the book. He was so close to you and he was being playful, which made you feel weird.

"Well now I care even more because you're not telling me. You're making me more curious," he said, moving his body closer to yours and trying to look over your shoulder to see the book.

"It's a romance book."

Charles's eyes widened instantly. He looked intrigued and excited to find out more.

"So it's about love? Is it a romance? Is it about someone falling in love with someone else? Is it juicy?" he asked quickly, his words blending together.

"Too many questions."

"Oh, please, tell me..." Charles whined playfully.

He pulled the book back towards his side, then leaned his head closer against your shoulder, resting his head on you.

"It's um... very spicy."

Charles's eyes widened again.

"Ooh, spicy, huh? Is it about two characters being in love and doing it?" he asked excitedly, his eyebrows raised.

He pulled the book back towards his side again, putting pressure on it so it wouldn't slide away easily.

"Stop acting so childish. You know my taste in books."

A wide smirk appeared on Charles' lips. "Yes. And i daresay that they are particularly mild compared to what you can do in private."

"Shhhh!" Your eyes widened as you scanned the crowd around you. "Stop it! There are lots of people here."

"What are you scared of?" Charles asked. "The news of you and me having the most perfect sex while we're supposed to be childhood friends isn't really going to make me stop flirting with you in public."

You couldn't help but rolled your eyes. "Oh, come on, Charles! Stop talking that loud! You make me wanna hate you so bad sometimes."

"Apparently, last night wasn't one of those times, right, love?"

[l0relaii]

GREETINGS

need me some thoughts about Connor.

Deviant Connor who's got a thing for his 20-25 year old neighbor after he moves in with Hank after the war where he ends up going on a date w her and she invites him insidee... oop... smutty thots?

oh jesus my first time writing for connor i'm a bit nervous ngl

part 2

you were hank's neighbor

you were the only person he actually trusted because you helped him a lot with his grief after his son died

you'd come over and cook a decent meal for him once in a while, you'd get him in bed when you found him black out drunk on the floor, you'd feed and walk sumo

you even took the adorable saint bernard into your home when hank got too overwhelmed and couldn't take care of him properly

you sat down at his kitchen table watching him eat the soup you'd made him

he'd told you he'd been assigned a case and his partner was "a damn android"

you laughed a bit at his annoyance

"why don't you give him a chance?"

"yeah sure, maybe we'll even become friends, why not move him here with me? i see you're already sweet on him"

only if he knew that all his jokes would become true..

his sarcasm only made your smile widen

"oh come on hank, maybe you will grow.. fond.. of- what'd you say his name was?"

"why? d'you want to buy one for yourself? i don't think they're for sale for civilians darling"

"oh don't be an asshole hank. if you need anything else you know where to find me"

you said as you got up from the table and went to grab your coat

"connor."

"what?"

"his name's connor"

connor knew about you too. hank drunkenly blabbered about you when he found him laying on the floor

"leave me alone, you fuckin' android! get the fuck outta my house"

"i'm sorry lieutenant, but i need you"

he heard hank calling out your name while he dragged him to the bathroom to try and sober him up

"i don't know who that is lieutenant, but i can assure you, she's not here. it's only me, you and sumo"

"then go and get her"

"is she your wife lieutenant?"

"no you pervert, she's my damn neighbor"

"i'm sorry to inform you but i don't think we have the time for that right now"

"shit.. sumo! attack!"

the only thing he got in return from the dog was a little bark

"good dog.."

after connor managed to sober him up he saw you coming to pick up sumo. he was.. glad that you weren't hank's partner,though he didn't know why he felt that way at the time

your eyes met for the first time. you could see his LED turn yellow. he was analyzing you

and you think he liked what he saw when you noticed a blue tint in his cheeks

that was.. interesting

you didn't see him again after that, not until the war was over. not until he moved in with hank and you learned that he was a deviant

you found yourself intrigued by him. without even realizing you were coming up with different reasons why you should come over at hanks place more often

you wanted to cook him a nice dinner, or to give sumo a bath, or to give him back a book you burrowed

and everytime you ended up staring at connor. he was certainly different than when you first saw him

not so rigid, more.. human

his presence was nice. you felt protected, secure around him, horny flustered even

he was currently watching you scratching sumos belly on the carpet, getting ready to take him out for his evening walk

hanks gruff voice suddenly startles him

"you know it's not polite to stare"

"jesus hank, you scared me"

"why don't you ask her out?"

"like.. on a date?"

"yes like on a date"

"..why?"

"don't play coy connor, you've seen how she looks at you too"

he did notice your heart rate being higher around him, your oxytocin and estrogen levels increasing when you acknowledged his presence

you hear hank shouting out your name while you're putting on sumos leash

"connor said he wants to join ya on your walk"

"really?"

he nudges him in his chest managing to get a strained "yes" from him

the walk was a pleasant one. you talked with him about hank, about sumo, about his life and how everything changed for him after the war

"how did you feel? you know, when you uh- deviated"

"it was scary at first, i felt- human.. it's hard to explain."

"i understand"

you give him a side glance noticing his LED is yellow, he's analyzing something, he's analyzing you

after that evening it kinda became your thing, going out everyday to walk sumo around the neighborhood

hank mentioned to you that connor is learning and exploring different emotions and that he's eager to experience anything that a human would feel and do

"maybe you could help him with that"

help him with that? yeah sure why not? unfortunately you failed to pick up on his suggestive tone

connor was indeed exploring. he felt.. weird around you. what was that feeling? his system was heating up whenever he thought about it, whenever he thought about you

he did some research and he associated his reactions to human arousal. was he..? aroused..?

he knew you certainly were

one evening you invited him at your place after you walked sumo, your explanation being that hank was really tired that day and you didn't want to disturb him any more

he accepted after he made sure he wouldn't bother you, of course he accepted, he couldn't wait for you to do this even though he'd never admit it

he noticed your hormone levels and the way your legs crossed and you squeezed your thighs

he also noticed your body heating up and the pheromones you released

you noticed the slight baby blue tint in his cheeks and the..pinkish hue of his LED? more like a peachy tone, similar to the yellow one but definitely different

that's new

what was also new was the bulge is his jeans. was he hard? could he get hard?

apparently he could, and he just realized he did

"i'm sorry, this has never happened before-"

"d'you need.. any help with it?"

"i guess i do.. could uh- could you help me?"

"i thought you'd never ask"

ajsjnxd cliffhanger i'm sorry i don't think i'm ready to write the whole thing 😭😭

[carlostck]

SPOILERS! (ninjago dragons rising season 2 part 2)

I'm crying why did she grab him??? And he doesn't even resist

Also, I LOVE how they go about Arin's "betrayal" Arin doesn't like him, he doesn't want to be on his side... He just wants what Ras can give him

Very confused about the "Wu caused the merge" thing because I feel like it's more of caused-it-due-to-not-stopping-it situation rather than directly causing it? Especially because Wu was actively trying to prevent it from happening, as shown on a few occasions

In addition to that, love how Cole is shown in the series so far, just wish we got a little more of him. I know they aren't the main characters anymore but he's the mom friend and they all need more of that lol Geo and him running to the museum together is so cute awgh

Liking how this is going, the Ras situation is curious in that it seems like he was attempting to avenge his people by "controlling" the forbidden five (moreso attempted to)

The only thing I didn't like about season 2 part 2 is how they went about the Jay situation? Something about it felt off or wrong, can't place a finger on it though... I may just be stupid and it may only be me, but felt funny; like it wasn't right??

Now, questions on my mind since this has raised some: If Lloyd hadn't been disqualified for being injured in a fight (lame rule by the way, he seemed fine <3), then would he have won? And if he did, he would have to fight Sora, but I'm more curious about what Nokt would have done about it Why did Lloyd's eyes stay green after losing his power? Is it not completely lost, just limited? 'Cause Cole was still able to control the rocks due to the assistance of the elemental energy in his mother's mech, meaning they still have the connection... Which would make sense, considering all the "got my powers back" instances Oh, also they called his power "life," which I find interesting because one would assume that the Tournament of Sources would have the correct name for his power! Curious what else Lloyd can do, since I don't think he's ever really reached his true potential? (I know people consider him becoming the Golden Spinjiztu master it but that doesn't make much sense to me) When Zeatrix attacked Lloyd with the sword, was that supposed to be her literally cutting through his side? They're legos so it kinda just looked like she whacked him with a long stick, lol

Euggh I cannot wait for more I love Sora and Lloyd's relationship. Also when she said "If he (Arin) even wants to be found" I lost it because I immediately thought of Morro oops Wyldfyre sleeping with Riyu, awjwaah... I was slightly sad when we didn't get much of her and Riyu at the beginning (since the relationship just makes sense), but those little things are great I also love Frak (however you spell it) and I hope he doesn't just disappear after that

Still want to see Lloyd go ape shit please elpase pleasesplease pelasep palesepelase pleaseee

[irisintheafterglow]

Hey!! Can you write some fluff hcs of katsuki taking you to prom? Thank u so much! 🥰

AAAAAA YES I CAN I LOVE THISSS fun fact i didn't get to go to senior prom because i got sick on the day of :(( but i love any excuse to wear a fancy dress !!!

cw: swearing, implied fem!reader but no she/her pronouns or descriptions, this got super long because i got carried away oops :)) hope you like this!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

alright let's be honest if y'all don't already know each other, there's no way he's asking first

he'll think you're super pretty but be too proud to break the tough guy facade and make a move first

buuutttt if you're already kinda in with the bakusquad then it's a little easier for him to ask

and by ask i mean just tell you that you're going to prom with him

you're sitting next to him in the common room doing homework and he just goes

"go to prom with me."

"huh?"

"go to prom with me, 'cause who the fuck else you gonna go with."

"you're a royal asshole, you know that?" and then you pack up your stuff and go back to your dorm and he's like wait shit fuck that's not how that was supposed to go fUCK

so then the next day he's like "go to prom with me."

"are you fucking serious-"

"please?"

and this man never says please so you decide to give him a shot

you've thought he was attractive since your first year but didn't think he would be interested

and then, when you became friends, it seemed abundantly clear that he was too busy training and going on missions to have a relationship

when really he's just terrified of losing you if you don't reciprocate his feelings

so after much convincing from the rest of his friends, he mustered up the courage to ask you tell you to go to prom with him

you already know he was in the group chat after the first attempt to ask you going like

"guys i fucked up"

"bakubro what did you do"

"i told them to go to prom with me and they walked away"

"i think you're leaving out a crucial part of the story"

"ok and i said no one else would go with them"

"dUDE"

"IDIOT"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT"

"I WAS FUCKING NERVOUS"

if you don't already have a dress, he's going dress shopping with you

sits in the waiting area of the fitting room holding a stack of glittery fabrics and doesn't give one (1) fuck about it

definitely the type to whistle under his breath when you walk out in ~the dress~

he has no idea what the fuck he's doing so he's a little,,,,abrasive when it comes to shopping with you

"you need shoes? let's get you some new fucking shoes, then."

"that color is hideous. choose something else because you're too good-looking for shit like that."

"d'you think this color would look good with my eyes? no? damn, harsh crowd."

on the night of prom he's 20 minutes early to pick you up

so he just sits on the floor of your dorm in his suit with his arm propped up on his knee while he watches you finish your makeup

he's mentally taking note of the products you use and the colors you like so if you ever ran out, he could get them for you

you come out of the bathroom and ask him how you look and he genuinely feels like he's suffocating because he can't breathe

after like 30 seconds of staring he just

"damn."

is attached to you at the hip for the remainder of the night

i'm not kidding

his arm is around your waist at all times unless you go to the bathroom or he goes to grab a drink

brags about how good you look at any chance he gets

"yeah, see that dress? i helped pick that out, assholes," he says with a shit-eating grin and the rest of his friends are like 👍ok bro

they know how big of a crush he's had on you so they're amused by how smug he is now

if you force him onto the floor to slow dance he forgets all sense of rhythm

keeps stepping on your feet

tells you to move even though he's stiffer than a wooden board

has no idea where to put his hands and can't look you in the eyes without turning bright pink

you kiss him on the cheek and he fucking freezes LMAO

turns over his shoulder and sees his friends with their phone cameras out like paparazzi (he doesn't mind)

asks you out properly at the end of the night and it's not just a command

instead of "get lunch with me sometime" it's

"get lunch with me sometime? if you wanna, you don't need to if you don't want to-"

and then you kiss him! to make him shut up! and he's a feely mess for the next three days straight until he sees you again

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Headcanon Kate gives the 141 kisses and then immediately bites them to show affection like a cat

HOW DO YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN DEEP IN BITING 141 HEADCANONS

It's a love bite!! She just gets so excited by physical affection she has to nom a little. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Price and Ghost DO NOT make it easy for her. Ghost, obviously, covering his face a lot, but Price has a beard! She can't nip at his cheek or chin, she just gets a mouthful of beard, that's unacceptable. Sometimes she bites his nose. He's smart, though, can tell when she's bitey, knows to pull away so she can't nab him. So she resorts to biting the back of his hand. He has to shave for some reason and after the first round of novelty wears off (babyface Price?!!?!) new novelty appears because NEW BITING SURFACE!!

Kate tried to bite Ghost's hard shell mask once and hated it. He covers up a lot so she can't ever shrug it off like "oh oops i didn't mean to" she literally has to ruck up a sleeve or tug his collar down. this gives him enough time to plan a RETALIATION BITE.

Not nippy ones like she does, either. Full on chomps. His reasoning is "if I have my teeth in you then i know you are not going off somewhere doing something STUPID" Kate is offended by the implication she does stupid things. rude. This does NOTHING btw to make anyone else on base less intimidated by Ghost. rumors circulate about how he bites hard enough to draw blood and that's with someone he kind of likes! (this did happen, thankfully it was not in public because they were both very kind of into it)

feral bastard man Soap adores the love bites. to the point where if he's feeling down, he'll ask for it because it's a nice little dopamine rush. When the ADHD starts ADHDing he will either bite or ask to be bitten. it works, so nobody questions it. Soap is actually more likely to break skin because he's got sharp chompers. Kate likes to bite the top of his ear. Will use the mohawk to drag his head down if she needs to

Gaz gets nibbles. comparatively gentle bites. the guys are talking about their various Kate Bite Bruises Etc and Gaz is like??? wtf are you on about??? Sure there's a bit of a sting sometimes but she kisses it away. Price makes a comment about maybe she bites harder to match the biting the guys do to her (he is correct for the most part). And Gaz is like. you HEATHENS. why are you BITING HER BACK?

This devolves into a very long (slightly horny) discussion of biting as affection, etc. as well as some brief spirals into "why isn't she biting me harder/softer???" (there's a slight chance that Kate comes by Price's office while this is the hot topic in the guys' group chat and Price relays the entire conversation to her, no this is NOT an invitation to bite me right now Katherine!!!! [Price is the only one who can call her Katherine and he's only done it twice])

Anyway Gaz gets Nice Bites until he has a close call, which prompts a very dramatic kiss from Kate followed by a very mean bite to his neck that bruises almost instantly. Gaz is like great! i now see i was not missing out on anything. let's go back to the nice bites please. (he will get nice bites when he stops doing stupid shit, and Gaz thinks that's a bit rich coming from the queen of stupid shit herself, which earns him another, if slightly nicer, bite)

One of them has the top of his ear nicked from an arrow. Not Ghost, his ears are covered, but at least ONE of the others. I'm pretty sure it's Soap but it could be Gaz. that doesn't have anything to do with biting but is important for us all to know.

[short-black-diamond]

HI!!

please could you do head canons on what the blue lock boy’s types are 🤗🤗

THANK YOU ❤️❤️

their types? Uhhh

Damn that's gonna be hard.. But I'll try to do my best!

Also since you didn't tell me what gender (I'll do it with a female reader)/ which characters you'd like for me to write, I'll take this freedom to choose a few!

Characters: Chigiri, Bachira, Barou, Kunigami

---

Blue Lock's types!? ...part one

part two

Chigiri:

I think Chigiri looks at hair-models often? Like c'mon look at his fabulous hair

So like, when he sees girls with just--pretty hair, he blushes, because the hair blows softly and makes their hair whoosh nicely, yk what I mean?

but other than that, I could also see him simping for a tomboy

like just imagine crossdressing together (you'd have to convince him first though)

I like to imagine him being friends with a tomboy who he secretly has a crush on but idk

or maybe a girly girl who loves giving him different hairstyles

Bachira:

I bet he'd like an artistic girl? like just for the sake of you and his mom sharing something else other than a coochie lol

but like, he'd be very happy if he'd have an artistic s/o, like imagine

he always plays under that bridge thingy and chills with the monster

imagine he meets you one day there with spray cans as you do some rebellious thing

snd he'd be like "oh I like it picasso"

and he'd ask you abt it and idk, maybe you guys would share the same passions

I'd also like to imagine that Bachira describes the monster to you as you try to draw it the way he sees it

imagine you did it, then you could actually understand him better

Barou:

Guys

you know the drill

I actually wrote s scene where you two met, look at my masterlist under the blue lock link

but like, I think he just likes...formal girls?

ladylike women?

Like, not the ones who dress up all girly but more adult-like

because c'mon he calls himself king and acts all arrogant, he just gives me the vibe that he'd absolutely simp for a lady

(I DRESS LIKE THAT PLEASE TAKE ME)

but like, I think he likes to see when girls also do their skin care nicely? like he gives me the vibes of someone who occasionally checks out the self-care isle

and then he sees you and he be like oop-

she pretty..

but i dunno it's all headcannons

Another thing to add is, because he is a clean freak himself, he'd also like to have a clean woman, who'd love to keep a clean house

pls Barou let me be your little housewife who cooks you every meal you want

Kunigami:

Okay..

Damn I don't really know what his type would beeeeee

He gives me such a vibe that he'd be good with whoever liked him? Like he isn't really picky?

He'd probably look for a sweet girl, who is like--having a nice aestethic? Like it doesn't have to be cute or cottage core or light academia or all that shit, it can also be something completely else

but I imagine him wanting to be spoiled a little, even though he'd never admit it, I think he'd like to have a s/o whose love language has physical touch in it

and just cuddle the fuck outta him

also give him flowers occasionally?

like as a surprise

sorry but Kunigami looks like the absolute babygirl to me sorry not sorry

---

That's it for this post! Sorry if it was short, but that's all I could come up with at the moment. I didn't want to include the physical look except in Chigiri's case because hair, and yeah

I hope it was okay for you and if you didn't like it, I'll change it for you, okay?

Read you in the next post!

[nochi-quinn]

exandria unlimited: divergence: episode 1: it's bad here

nobody escaped the GOT intro unscathed, did they

ryback?

ruidis mentioned

that's so cool, I hate it"

I think I audited the wrong class"

elder dorf!

level 0!

I didn't know that was a thing

dex FOUR??

level No

matt. brennan. it's been fifteen minutes. are you seriously gonna make me cry.

I'm gonna fight brennan in the parking lot

this hallucination is gonna kill me and matt both

brennan child voice

this man has THIRTEEN HIT POINTS

this man has FOUR HIT POINTS

"she isn't a healer, she's a preserver" oh I like that

"it's the 20-sided one" alex

"you want my help this time?" I love Nia

this scene would start just as I sit down with food

"it probably just tastes like ash" "it ALL tastes like ash"

I love everybody in this scene. they're all gonna die so hard.

keph are you okay (no)

alex: would

these level 0 stats give me so much stress

ah, mordAurum. gold dragonborn. I get it.

oh. oh him big. him real big.

him still only got 10 hp

he has an intelligence of 6 he knows what he's doing

"a lost, giant child" :(

brennan is banned from putting children in his games

liam's face

"matt if you would like to have more than 4 hit points -"

ba ba ba, ba barbithrix

that's too many, put some back

liam r u ok

"we understand you have many infirm here" yes that's why it's called the infirmary

druid?? dwarf druid??

growing things!!!

hope symbolism!!

garen is making FRIENDS

the halls of partying

"party punishment?" hey I've seen most of severance that's absolutely a thing

LIGHT FLEAS

INFESTED WITH HOPE

not the lion king 2 "~deception~"

using the cough for good

oops, oversold it

stop! putting! children! in! hell!

alex: would

even evil has standards

"it's SO bad"

just wedge this poor big man in the wall

these dragonborn children are going to kill me

crokas is going to kill me

alex and matt keep giggling at the most sixth-grade things, I love them

"are you sick?" "of this shit? yes."

"like the flower?" "hurhgh?"

I did also think it was the flower originally

"I didn't name me" dskfjhslk

matt sounds like Billy Bones from the beginning of treasure planet

not the tragic sibling keepsake

liam mentioned the dice roll pendulum swing earlier and it is going to swing back SO HARD

bless bugs!

"until someone else's bones caught you" uncalled for

"what's your armor class?"

literally shoot first ask questions later

"what do you do?" "oh, fuck!"

ready for this tpk

"this guard died because his helmet stabbed into his brain"

100 years of frustration behind that swing

fine dwarven crafts

vomit action

"it's bad here"

"I don't think I did that"

oh not the trex rumbles

"it looks like fingers" no thank you!

no wait is it roots

IT'S ROOTS

"sticks." I LOVE HIM

he's old, that happens sometimes

"there's bugs in here."

ah.

what does THAT feel like in stone-sense

there is a god-fight happening upstairs

MEECES

FUCK YEAH MEECES

this is almost definitely stormlord & wildmother v strife emperor

roll that beautiful hammer damage

disabled dragon DISABLED DRAGON

"why'd you do that to your arm" crokas

HAMMER PUNCH

fuck yeah meeces

three what now

rip The Boys

"when it walks Exandria with a purpose"

"I saw him comin'." Can ya hear 'im? Those gears and gyros clickin' and whirrin' like the devil himself??

fuck yeah, apocalypse setting

everything in between gets you individual body parts

rip The Boys

matt stop helping

"are you weakest at the shoulder or the elbow?"

"I'm gonna faint" that's dungeons and dragons baybee

meeces!

they found their cheeses

fuck these six giants in particular

bugbear!!

hugbear!!

I will not get attached to starmian I will not

fuck yeah luck feat

hey in ferelden that cheese is a decent shield

"sorry, vox machina, git gud" liam

"a god's shinguard looking like the statue of liberty"

oregon trail ass checks

ah yes, the mythical rain

found the cannibalism

well I guess the hand-soup was already cannibalism

liam o'brien spellcasting flavor text my beloved

I! Love! Him!

alex

good pinecones

this is what happens when you put "death" in your literal name

brennan do we need this level of detail

I don't. I don't need this level of detail.

matt: I put the team('s rolls) on my back

"yeah, that's what happens when I talk shit"

rip nia

I will not get attached to starmian

this is why I did not get attached to starmian

his job is to be old and die so we can learn and be sad

"…shit"

"will you flee?" "would it help?"

"that is what strength is for"

vestige?? crokas get vestige???

"belt."

I love him SO MUCH

[skyclan-funny-name-squad]

Oops I got too into thinking about a scene in warrior cats and why I think it didn't land how it should have to child me.

Honestly i think the reason "thistleclaw was teaching too advanced moves to whitekit ergo bad father" never really stuck out as him actually being a bad father is because...what even is an advanced fight move in warriors? They're cats, how far can they really get from swatting biting and pinning? The most advanced battle move we honestly really get to see in an understandable and repeated matter is Firestar faking going limp to lower guards. We get told they have advanced moves, especially dark forest trainees, but like, what are they?

Going through the wiki of fighting moves like, I guess there's the half-turn belly rake? or the leaping attacks? The only technique I would call actually decently advanced is the dark forest spin hind kick due to the aforementioned spinning. However, that's not what Thistleclaw is teaching, he's teaching specifically a rearing move at the start of the scene when Bluefur protests.

Bluefur followed, her ears twitching. Whitekit was too young for battle training. “He might get hurt!” she protested (...) Thistleclaw was already urging the young kit to rear up on his stubby hind legs(...) Bluefur caught up to them. “Stop! He’s not ready!”

Which means if we pretend the narrative is actually using moves that have some level of use in the series it's either rear-up slash or upright lock, upright lock doesn't make much sense because it's a finisher, which leaves the only battle move we know of that works like that to be rear-up slash, where you rear up on your hide legs and slash at the sky against an enemy from above... Which sorry I don't see the big deal. Worst case scenario from the move is Whitekit slips and falls, but they're in camp where any problem can be helped pretty quickly and the ground is soft, we don't know how if at all this could actually hurt Whitekit.

Thistleclaw was even shown to be careful, the text specifically stating when he tells Whitekit to try and dodge, he swipes near his ears and doesn't cuff him or anything. Whitekit is in no danger to the reader in this scene. The usual signs of something going wrong like claws being out simply are not there.

Thistleclaw was already urging the young kit to rear up on his stubby hind legs. “Come on, my little warrior. See if you can duck this.” He swiped a paw close to Whitekit’s ear."

Whitekit even mentions being trained in a hunting crouch by Lionheart already, this isn't overly unusual for how cats are treating Whitekit. While it's not the same as a battle move, it's still pretty odd for a kitten to have a "perfect hunting crouch" and later on in the book when Whitekit does rear...it gets blamed on TIGERPAW ALSO TEACHING HIM BATTLE MOVES

“Look what I’ve learned.” Whitekit scrambled away from her and crouched on the den floor, his tail straight and his belly pressed on the soft earth in a perfect hunting crouch.

Whitekit reared onto his hind legs and swiped at the air. Bluefur wondered whether he had learned that battle move from Tigerpaw

A bit later on in the original scene he mentions teaching a more diving move which we know nothing about beyond Bluefur calling it advanced and Thistleclaw telling Whitekit

"Now when you dive, try twisting at the last moment"

We get nothing else really beyond Bluefur thinking that Whitekit looked tired, we see nothing into what's actually happening between Thistleclaw and Whitekit. Even if it's an advanced move, the narrative has given me no reason to believe Whitekit is in danger from this move, if anything Whitekit being able to pull a perfect hunter's crouch makes him seen more capable then the average kit.

No other cat is mentioned to have concerns outside of Goosefeather, who is also Goosefeather a cat the reader is not exactly primed to fully trust. Swiftbreeze and Robinwing don't seem to give a shit, and Thistleclaw's not exactly hiding what he's doing, openly saying he's doing it and doing it right in front of multiple cats who raise no complaints. Even Bluefur doesn't really believe Thistleclaw would actually purposefully hurt Whitekit. Sunstar looks DIRECTLY AT IT and does not give a shit

Goosefeather’s stinky breath stirred her ear fur. “A thistle has thorns sharp as claws,” he whispered. “Don’t let Whitekit get hurt by them.” (...) Was he warning her about Thistleclaw? Surely Whitekit was safe with his father?

He (Sunstar) glanced over at the snowy kit, still training with his father. “You can go hunting with Thistleclaw instead."

As a kid, this scene to me read like Bluestar being overprotective or being anxious after her nightmare, it never felt like Thistleclaw was in the wrong to me. Looking back at it, I can see the concerns, but as of Bluestar's Prophecy being the only look at Thistleclaw at the time? It seemed fine to me. I think it's interesting how little detail even went into this scene.

if it was properly set up it could have been a gut punch, but the fact he's teaching Whitekit two moves we get like a sentence at max describing that have no mention in the rest of the book does nothing to make it seem like a big deal maybe if other cats complained it could have meant something to me. If Whitekit had actually shown giving a negative response to the teachings or if he was teaching like, the same move that killed Moonflower or something then that could be an "oh shit!" moments but these are just super generic moves.

The only mention of a cat really diving in battle outside this scene in the entire book is two windclan cats pouncing on Dappletail and rearing is a super common move even done by Bluepaw and Snowpaw when fighting Windclan as rather young apprentices. These moves that are being taught have no weight to the narrative or themes and give me no reason to really think of them as a problem.

This isn't a post defending Thistleclaw in general, but as someone who was the biggest Thistleclaw stan of all time in the warriors fandom for many years, it's interesting to look back on these important moments and reflect on them and know why I was so so drawn to Thistleclaw. This scene is interesting to me because it's so...tame, the way people talk about it you'd think Thistleclaw pinned Whitekit or threw him or something, but in reality, it's a very fast scene where Whitekit's only reaction to any of it we even see is him being excited to see his father and we don't see his reaction to anything else or what he even does or feels or anything.

If anything the reasoning he tells Whitekit for learning these moves is the interesting part of this section to me

“You never know when some mangy RiverClan furball is going to steal into camp.”

This interests me because it's a very defensive reasoning, he's not going "so you can go fight in battle over sunningrocks" or "to show the other cats up" its a more paranoid defensive reasoning of "you don't know when we'll get invaded, and you have to defend yourself" Which I cannot deny, does have at least a bit of precedent when you consider that the clans do rage battles in camps, even if them going after the kits in it its absolutely being overly paranoid

Was Thistleclaw right to teach Whitekit like this? I personally struggle to say no, because the narrative gives me no reason to actually think he's wrong outside of Bluefur being worried, there's no real pay off about this scene where Whitekit takes it too far or Whitekit gets hurt, it's just a worry in the back of Bluefur's mind. Thistleclaw doesn't even try to take Whitekit into a fight, he just teaches, at most its foreshadowing that Thistleclaw is a somewhat strict teacher, but he's also playful to Whitekit as well.

Like yes, he's not old enough to be an apprentice, but Thistleclaw doesn't treat him like he treats Tigerpaw. It can be seen as maybe a bad sign, but the narrative fails to actually portray it as having like, any consequence for happening in the slightest. As such, child me when reading this believed it to be another reason Bluestar was an unreliable narrator and kind of a jerk to Thistleclaw

[swearyshera]

Alice,

I've loved being able to read Sweary She-Ra through the years. I happened upon it only a few months after finishing She-Ra (I was late to the party due to not having Netflix, oops), and it gave me so much wonderful content to keep my excitement for the series alive.

The way you explored the characters, especially Catra's mental health and her relationship with Shadow Weaver, helped give me a new understanding and greater appreciation of them. I bring up Catra specifically because, I'll be honest, I wasn't a big Catra fan for awhile. I liked her well enough, then kinda didn't in season 4, but grew fond of her again around season 5. But you helped me understand her thought-process, and I came to like her more because of it. I really like that you also handled her in a nuanced way, where, as you've said many times, you explained her behavior without excusing it, and that made all the difference.

One of the things I really appreciated about your take on She-Ra was how apparent your intelligence was, as well as your writing skill. It wasn't just "Catra says fuck and Glimmer has killed dozens," even though it could have been--you went the extra mile (or kilometer, since you're British :P) and gave us a variety of jokes, as well as mood shifts from comedic to tragic to dramatic to hopeful. All of the characters felt like themselves, even though they were pushed up to 11 and had some creative liberties taken, such as Frosta being a demon and Hordak's Geordie accent. You had a good handle on all of them, which can be very hard to do with a large cast, especially one written by another writer.

I also really appreciated that you took the time to answer asks and build a community here. It gave us lovely jokes such as Bob (that's right, I haven't forgotten about him), Catra's age, and Entrapta reading our comments. I've always been very shy online, but seeing you having such nice interactions with fans helped me open up, and I'm glad I did! I used to ask anonymously from time to time (yes, my first ask was about DT, all the way back during your start on season one, what else would it be? XD), and I'm glad I've gotten to chat and joke with you, as have the rest of us.

I'm so glad that you stuck with this and created such a wonderful fan-series. We never got a movie, but this was just as good, in my opinion. It was like watching SPOP for the first time all over again. I'm excited to see what you create next, be it SPOP-related or not. I hope the future has great things in store for you.

You brought us laughs, tears, and spectacular Glimmer-swears, and your blog means so much to so many people. You mean so much to so many people. I hope you find success in your future endeavors!

FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!

What can I say, it's truly been an honour (of Gayskull) to write something that I had no idea brought so much to many people. I'm genuinely quite humbled by the reaction.

I always wanted to be fair to all the characters, to show their reasons without necessarily validating the invalid stuff that they've done, and that particularly came across with Catra. It's no secret that I see a lot of parallels between her and my own history, but I've applied the same take-no-shit but be kind approach that I took with myself over the years. And I've learned a lot about mental health during that time, so I could give that sometimes painful realism, but also know just how to make fun of it in the right way.

In some ways, I feel like the characters I've written have taken on their own personality that's very distinct from the original, and that's probably why I think there's a little more mileage in them yet. Both in terms of original stuff (my pilot script Snowflakes has almost 1:1 versions of DT and Perfuma!), but also in the possibility for creating more Sweary stuff, and that is slowly taking shape - although I am taking it easy for a bit, I've already outlined a story which I'd love to make into an audio drama. Currently workshopping it with a couple of people, so watch this space...

It has been a joy to get so many asks from people, yourself included, and my inbox will always be open. I'm not going anywhere for a while! You were very much my DT-asker-in-chief, and I'm super glad you enjoyed their scenes (heck, you even got them a cameo at the end!). So thank you immensely for the support.

I'm happy I've been able to contribute to a wonderful fandom in such a way, and I'm eager to keep on giving back to a community that has given me so many amazing friends.

FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!

[fraudulent-cheese]

So i watched episodes 3 to 8 of Pahkitew Island

Again, watched these with my buddy @rockin-it-rusty! And, holy shit these episodes have got me genuinly wondering why Pahkitew's so hated.

I'll go over the negatives first; the challenges are kinda eh. The Truth or Scare one is great, and the cave one is interesting due to it's hints at the Fake Island reveal (as heavy handed as they were), but most of these were just pretty out there to me? They mostly felt like an excuse to put the characters in situations mostly. Just have Topher make a narration joke, give Max and Scarlett an interaction, have Sky and Dave dance around eachother all due to a thing the challenge made them do. I don't mind the first two much, but the last one gets super repetitive man. Glad they mixed it up a bit by making Shawn try to wingman Dave though, i like their friendship! im a bigger dashawn shipper now oops

ANYWAYS IMA TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOW BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE CHARACTERS CARRY THE SHOW!

Amy... Ok im very mixed on her. On one hand, she serves her role as the mean twin relatively well. But on the other, that's all she really is! Her one trait is being mean and hating her sister, and that's all she really does! Granted she has a thing? Where she gets sayings (?) wrong, or just gets words wrong (she says parfait is german. it's french. i would know) which! could hint at something! (maybe less smart than her sister?) but they don't do shit with her outside of her swimming back to the island in episode 5. god i wanna rewrite this season so badly now to give her a bigger role. idk shoutouts to Twinning with a Twist for redeeming her while still giving her some edge ig.

Rodney. i uh

I haven't thought about him since his elimination honestly. I just doooooon't care about him it's crazy. Most forgettable guy in the entire series.

Sammy! Ok back to the siblings rambles! I wish the show leaned into her scheming more. Girl in five episodes pulled identity theft and did nothing else. Why. Her relationship with Jasmine is adorable, and i wish she got Jasmine to call her by her actual name, and a personality too! It's really a shame man :(

Sidenote, but like her team fucking hated her for some reason??? Like what. I know it's because of that one scene, but really?

Ella!! My sweet girl Ella!!! She didn't do anything wrong man she just likes singing leave her alone!!! Chris really fucking hates her and it's pretty entertaining at least, but i'd say his beef with Topher's funnier. She has a nice singing voice, and i love how passionate she is about fairytales and stuff. You could do so much with the Prince thing and the show... didn't. Like what even was that. Conflict that wasn't one that lasts an episode. what

Gotta say though, her elimination was fucking ass, Max 100% should've been kicked instead of her.

Topher. Ah the opher. He's a special case, even in the context of Pahkitew Island itself! Because the dude's not here for the game. He's here to meet his idol, Chris Mclean (he really knows how to pick em, huh). I like the progression he's got, from wanting his approval to straight up wanting to host the game instead of him. I'll admit, my opinion's a little skewed since i am mutuals with the Topher guy on Tumblr, but i like him regardless!

His relationship with Chris is easily one of the more interesting parts of the season, mostly because a 30-something year old dude having beef with a teenage fan is hilarious, and you could definitely spin it in a sad way from Topher's perspective.

It also helps that he's genuinely funny! His few interactions with the other campers are also pretty fun, he dgaf about them it's great.

Im kind of mixed on Dave, i'll be real. On one hand, im glad they ditched the whole "he doesn't like anyone on this Island" trait three episodes in because that would've gotten. SO ANNOYING. SO FAST. (hell i'd argue it was already annoying), and him being a hopeless romantic could be a fun trait, if done right. It also helps that he's really pathetic and i find that funny. His friendship with Shawn's fun too!

But on the other hand... Yeah, even before the finale the Skave plotline's really boringgg. They just dance around eachother for half the season for like! No reason! Please just have a conversation, even if it takes other people to sit them down to have it! I know why they didn't because the finale needed them to not actually talk about it but at least have Sky tell him she'll explain later or have him not be a coward and ask her about it himself!!! ack!!

Also the thing with him and Ella went literally nowhere. I have 0 feelings about it because it's just there for some reason. Idk they just really wanted to shoehorn in romance for every girl this season huh.

Scarlett's a really underutilized character pre-Island reveal. The bulk of her interactions with the other campers are with Max, who has a ton of screentime for some reason (which i don't personally really mind but i'll explain later) which honestly sucks because she's a fun character! I want to compare her to Twilight Sparkle at the very start of MLP. She's smart, she knows it, she can communicate with her teammates just fine and just chooses not to usually. I like her alot! Im just... really disapointed that she's so in the background usually; if anyone's a wasted character in tdpi, outside of the Twins i'd say it's her.

Her legit wanting to kill Max is great though. That's how i'd react to him irl. Don't get the Max saying she had a crush on him three episodes in, or the quip Chris made during the team switching tho.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MAX! I swear, i was convinced i'd find this guy annoying pre-watch but uh... I like this guy! No really, i do! He's like Mal, only the narrative doesn't take him seriously in the slightest and it's hilarious to watch! Im like Sugar in that one clip, i am laughing at this buffoon's intelligence, and his stupid catchphrase, and his "evil" plans, and his general delivery! Max is funny!

Even when the Scarlett "minion" thing kicked in i still found him funny! Don't get me wrong, i wish he'd gotten out earlier (ESPECIALLY when he was supposed to get kicked in the episode Ella got eliminated into) or just gotten less screentime in general, but in the season proper, yeah he's a funny guy! Big gimmick, but i like him! Please don't add nuance to him, i don't care

Jasmine... certaintly exists! I'd call her the Season's rock, the one character that's emotionally intelligent on the show. She's fun in general, and also the only one noticing things going wrong with the robotic island. As said before, her relationship with Sammy is great to see, and i wished we'd see more of her and Sky's friendship and uh. For there to be more between her and Shawn? Because the only things i've retained is that they blushed at eachother once and then trust issues party because he hit her once during a challenge and that completely broke her trust in him - which, could be an interesting aspect of her character to explore since if that's all it took for her to pull a 180 on Shawn, the girl must have a complicated relationship with trust. That's an interesting flaw! It also shows up with her rapport in Sky in the later episodes of this batch, and. GOD. I wish it was developped man!

The issue? Yeah it's dragged on so longggg man! It's frustating to watch frankly because i really wish they'd resolve this conflict quicker since it's like. The same thing every episode :( to my knowledge it's solved in episode 9, but it did NOT need to be dragged out for 4 episodes.

Unrelated to her charater, but her height difference with the other campers is kind of ridiculous. In some shots the characters look so small compared to her it's crazyyy

Ok, now. Sugar. I'll be honest? She's great! She's just a menace and doing her own thing and it's fun to watch! She's also interesting in terms of backstory since she's canonically a pageant queen; her relationship with Ella is greatly impacted by this, since she heavily suspects her of lying to her face when it's just. Ella being Ella. Similar thing to her opinion on Topher; she doesn't like him for his sucking up to Chris, the host (something that Rusty probably agrees with). I fucking wish she was more popular because then people would look into her more, but alas. She's a female, plus sized character in Pahkitew Island, so considering the Fandom's biases, it was never going to happen. U_U

OK TIME FOR ZOMBIE BOY. So, Shawn. He's definitely more present in these episodes than he was before, and, again, i think he's fun! He's a weird little guy. He's got interesting skills (his camouflage, legit parkour, general athleticism) and his personality's interesting as well compared to the other guys. The zombie thing is fine, actually, because they do different things with it over the course of these episodes. Not much to say about him, he's a solid character to me and i wish he had more interactions with the cast outside of Dave and his pining for Jasmine. Who he's talked to like, five times at this point? Again, they probably should've talked stuff out faster than this for me to actually enjoy it. Oh well.

And finally, Sky. She's an interesting case for me? She's fine, mostly. She's the Normal Person™️ of the cast to me, and that means she really struggles to grab me. It's made worse by her main plot being a basic romance plot where the gimmick is that she's a reasonable human being and Dave isn't. And neither are able to have a normal fucking conversation about it either. The mixed signals thing could've been interesting, but this is Fresh TV writters, so of course it didn't end up that way. I assume the episodes without Dave are the ones where her personality shines more? Because so far she's just been really reserved and calm. And said she'd "focus on the competition only" And then. Doesn't. Really. God i wish this season treated it's female characters better :(

OK SO OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Im mixed on alot of the character decisions

god i wished these people talked more

the screentime is not well split among the cast

the romance plots and pacing of the Island plot are the weakest parts of this season

the challenges are fine

Why does Chef have 5 lines total.

Pahkitew Island does NOT deserve the overly negative rep it gets in this Fandom, at least based on the first 8 episodes.

[jaylienpotter]

2nd of August Jegulus prompt: constant, by @jegulus-microfic

(Word count: 1,158 ok maybe this one isn't a microfic, I might've gone overboard, oops. Hope u still enjoy)

Enough

"Hey Reggie. I've been looking for you." James went up to kiss his boyfriend but was gently pushed away. "Did I do something…?"

"I can't- I can't deal with this…" Regulus's voice slightly broke, which was highly unusual for the youngest Black.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jamie looked into Reg's eyes, looking for an answer.

"This- This constant pressure and fucking anxiety! I'm never good enough no matter what I do!" Potter was about to retaliate but the Slytherin was not finished "I'm not strong, nor resilient, nor dedicated enough for my mother. I'm not brave and good enough for my brother. I'm too closed off but then I'm ignored if I try to talk, I just- there's no winning! There's no fucking point! I just constantly disappoint everyone and I'm going to disappoint you eventually and you're going to fucking leave me like everyone else!" Icy blue eyes looked away from worried brown ones. He didn't want to cry. But fuck was it getting difficult.

"Hey, I'm not going to leave you…" A tanned hand reached to cup a pale face, but it was pushed away.

"You say that now! When the war begins you'll go back on your word." It was true. James Potter wouldn't have a death eater boyfriend, no matter how much he loved him.

"You just have to join us, or stay on the side lines. As long as you don't side with Voldemort." The bloody encouraging smile was infuriating and Regulus snapped.

"You don't fucking understand, Potter! It's not simple like that! I'm trapped! I'm fucking trapped! Dumbledore won't trust me even if I wanted to join you and my parents would come after me. After Sirius. After you! The only thing stopping them is having an heir!"

"Nothing will happen! We'll be careful!" That was such a load of bullshit. The Marauders? Being careful?! When have they ever?! They lived off adrenaline and recklessness.

"We both know you bloody won't. You lot are fucking insane, you will go head into the war without caring for the consequences!"

"We're doing what's right!"

"For you!" He didn't want to sound accusatory, but Potter wasn't able to see the other side of the coin. "And it's great you're doing it. But I can't!" Voice cracked, much like the boy speaking. "I would be putting you in danger and betraying my friends!" Barty, Evan… They didn't have much of a choice either. Barty could be a tad lunatic sometimes but he wasn't a bad person underneath. He had always been there for Reg. They all have.

"You shouldn't be friends with bloody death eaters to begin with!"

"You don't fucking get it Potter! You will never! You're not part of a purist family! You're not a Slytherin!"

"You're not your family! Nor your house!"

"We get marked as evil the moment the sorting hat shouts Slytherin! We get constant comments and looks! Even from you! You fucking hate Slytherins! I'm a bloody Slytherin, Potter!"

"But you're different-" No. He wasn't going to have this crap.

"I don't want to be a fucking exception! And I'm your exception! The rest of the school sees me as nothing but a blood purist who wants to kill muggles! I don't give a bloody shit about them! I don't care if someone has muggle parents or pureblood wizards ones! I just want to be left the fuck alone!"

"You can ignore them! All of them! Prove them different! Everyone can make their own choices!"

"Not all of us! Sirius only left our house alive because our mother knew she had me!" If Regulus wasn't there to 'save' the name of the House of Black, Sirius would have been a goner. But they simply couldn't seem to understand that! "Sirius didn't 'escape'. Our mother let him go. It was convenient for her. Not having to deal with him anymore. She won't have that courtesy with me."

"Dumbledore will protect you! He will help!" Black scoffed. Albus Dumbledore. The one thing he agreed with the purists was that he was fucking insane, disguised behind words of wisdom and kindness. When in reality, he didn't care. He didn't give a shit about anyone. Not his students, not the muggleborns, nobody. He would sacrifice all of his allies if he saw fit. If it gave him power. Even if he was fighting for a good cause, he wasn't so different from the Dark Lord himself.

"I will not trust that old rag with my life, James. I'm sorry but I won't." Round glasses were pushed up and red lips turned into a line.

"So that's it? You're going to give up?" The desire to both punch and kiss this tanned boy was unreal. Couldn't he fucking understand that Reggie was doing it for the best?! Again, he was never good enough. Not even for his bloody boyfriend.

"I knew this would happen. I'm fucking stupid. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall for you. And I surely shouldn't have accepted to date you." Dark eyes widened and James bit his tongue.

"Wow… Wow! Really? Are you bloody for real?!"

"We're both going to get hurt, Potter. You will break from not saving me. I will break from losing you." What the Gryffindor didn't know is that it was already happening. The small boy had been slowly tearing apart for the last several weeks. Anticipating this moment. Because nothing good in his life could last.

"There's still time! I can still-"

"No, James! You can't!" Fucking hero complex that wouldn't move for anything. One person could never save everyone. They were wizards, not bloody superheroes. "Hate me for what I'm going to say if you want. But I'd rather kill dozens of people than get you or Sirius killed."

"Reggie…" The expression of the oldest boy wasn't readable. It could be sadness, fear, disappointment…

"I think it's best if we part ways." Their hearts breaking could possibly be heard through the hallways of the castle. A tragic story of two people who deeply loved each other but weren't meant to be. The unfairness of the world splitting the ground beneath them.

"No, don't do this…" The next words were spoken in a different tone. They were soft, caring, and tremendously melancholic.

"You can't save me, love." That had been the first time Reggie called James that. He thought it many times before. But never out loud. "And I will not drag you down with me. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me." As a goodbye, Regulus placed a tender kiss on James's lips. Barely kissed back. Too stunned to react. "Take care of my brother for me." Potter only snapped out of it when the love of his life was walking away.

"No, wait! Regulus! Reggie, please!" Disappearing into the shadows, the Slytherin slid down to the floor and cried and cried. No matter how much he cried, it wasn't enough.

[jin-zixun]

Please share your ideas 🙏🙏🙏 my posts are meant in the most disrespectful manner possible 💪 feel free to add onto them

In that case...

LXC who 'forgot to mention' that his precious uwu baby brother he's always singing the praises of is, well, Like That. ("Oh, by the way, my brother can be kind of intense!" JGY: "Intense?" LXC: "...I'm sure it'll be fine! He'll love you!")

LWJ who just heard "He helped me when I was on the run. He's trying to get acknowledged from his father JGS. I want to help him." And knows Oh Shit He's Serious about this guy (or else why would he tell him anything at all?) But also looking at the situation does not trust MY at all. Thinks MY definitely somehow manipulated his brother, maybe playing the long game, maybe just to get an in with the heir/leader of a powerful sect and oh look it's paid off hasn't it?

MY who is still young and not quite naive. Definitely not unwise to the ways of the world. But hopeful. Wants LXC's family to like him, accept him at least, for the baby's sake if not his own because oh boy! He knows what it's like to be the unwanted child of a Sect Leader! Of course LXC will treat their child well, but will the rest of his family? Will the rest of his sect?

...And Also LXC who knows nothing of what happened with LWJ after he got back to CR while LXC was on the run other than he's married to Su She now (didn't he like Wei Wuxian?) and somehow Su She has some influence now over LWJ and the Sect. LXC assumes LWJ married SMS in some desperate ploy to keep him from being thrown out of the Sect but doesn't know why LWJ cared so much to do that to himself. He's absolutely devastated by this. Probably talks shit about SMS to MY before they've met, like "Su She was just an outer disciple and he wasn't even that good and he must have manipulated my brother into marriage somehow or he would have never settled for him!" And MY has no idea what to do with this because, like, 100% that's how people are going to be thinking about him.

But also! Prior to actually meeting MY, SMS is right there with LWJ on the suspicion train, because like. He heard 'Jin' and went with a hard no on that one. ("A Jin? Like... Like Jin Zixun? No way. 0%. Lan Sect can't be run by a Jin.") This lasts like ten minutes tops once he meets Meng Yao because of course he is *instantly* charmed. SMS agrees to work on getting LWJ to approve because oops! He and Meng Yao are kind of in the same boat here in terms of being disapproved of, and also MY is small and cute and vulnerable and needs to be protected at all costs??? And he is literally pregnant with the Sect Leader's baby??? Come on Lan Zhan! This is your new brother in law and he might technically be a Jin but he doesn't really have a family and WE are his family now!

And LWJ who has spent months learning to listen to SMS takes a few days of giving MY a hard time before agreeing that yeah. fair. He's family. And he shows this in like the most understated way possible that has MY feeling an overwhelming sense of relief without really knowing why, because like. LWJ just nodded and said "Mn." Is that really so big? But then LXC is moved to tears by that because he thought it would take so much longer and like wait is SMS a good influence on Wangji? That doesn't seem right?

(LWJ and SMS decide they are going to plan the wedding for LXC and MY and that lasts like almost an entire day before A-Yao is just like. "Yeah... I'm going to do it myself I think. Thanks for trying it's the thought that counts etc etc." And they're like. "But you are pregnant?" And MY is just. "Yeah... Still gonna do it myself." And then it comes out that LWJ and SMS's wedding was like. The most haphazard thing. No setting a date. No planning. Just happened. LXC is... Well he kind of figured that's what happened.)

[haveihitanerve]

Shadow and Bone series things that i fucking ADORE but its literally only the crows-

Kaz handing jesper the money ONLY FOR COAL and being very aware that jesper is going to lose it all but trusting him with it nonetheless

Kazzle dazzle walking around holding a goat

Jesper and inej insulting kaz, insinuating that he cant drive the weird little buggy thing and the thing he focuses on is the fact that inej called him ‘jes?’

‘Its suli.for friendship.’ inej is not having it.’no its not!’

Kaz’s little talk with inej. Beautiful

The fact that kaz thinks of inej and jesper as his saints because no one else has looked after him, but they do

Jesper not giving two shits that ka could kill him and constantly insulting him. ‘See it enough in the mirror do you?’

Jesper and inej talking back to kaz without a care in the world and he doesn't do anything

Kaz letting mal and inej go up to deck without following, but cant wait two seconds after jesper leaves to follow. Bromance

Jesper being able to touch kaz’s arm/shoulder/him without his arm being removed(both from kaz and from his body)

Kaz’s look at jesper when he recommends starting a brewery

Inej and jesper chatting about inej leaving. ‘You're making this really hard’ ‘i know. Id miss me too.’

‘Heres what i don't get’ ‘we’re gonna be here all night’ ‘rude.’ kaz just letting his crows bicker

Kaz and inej drinking from the same glass at different times while jesper just watches like ‘my alcohol!’

Kaz shushing everyone

Kaz giving his bestie life advice. ‘Never make decisions out of fear jesper. Only spite.’ jesper then making him laugh, you know he wanted to and totally cracked up when jes left- ‘greed always worked for me.’

Jesper showing his guns when someone threatens kaz

Jesper and his guns

Jesper spinning his guns

Jesper

‘Its not natural for someone to be stupid as he is tall and yet, oop!, there you stand’

Kaz’s personas that severely fucked with my head

‘He threw a book at me!’ that book being shadow and bone and also kazs looks

‘Tell me you have a plan. I don't care if its a lie.’

Jesper listing the things they learned and winking at inej when he says ‘its the friends we make along the way’ and the way kaz almost smiles

Also how close he and jesper are almost always standing/sitting

When theyre laying on the ground together, legs behind them. It just looks so wonky and also like a teenager thing to do and it makes me giggle

‘Too soon to appreciate the irony amiright?’ okay i just know that the reason kaz drops his head is because hes trying not to explode with laughter. 

Matthias and nina’s waffle conversation

‘Are you gonna help?” kaz just lifts cane. Jesper, without giving two fucks that this man is called the fucking bastard of the barrel, with snark and backtalk- ‘oh.well isn't that convenient for you’ i just love how he and inej are allowed to get away with talking to kaz like that okay? Its the little things

‘Hug the goat.shut the hell up’

Jesper wanting kaz to promise him an open casket, kaz merely saying that they are NOT dying

‘Still didn't shoot his pretty face. I've got to stop doing that.’ jesper, ma boi, please leave the snarky comments for a time when you are not about to die

‘No one will believe im that old!’ kaz’s look. I just know he had on a shit eating grin on the inside, payback for all the snarky comments jesper has made- ‘you tell yourself that’ inejs little grin

Kaz and jesper chatting while inej casually leaves and then holds mal at gunpoint

The way jes whips out his guns when inej appears with mal and both guys jump in surprise while shes just like, ‘oh you guys didn't notice he was here?’

Kaz casually recruiting mal without asking mal himself

‘Have you found religion too?” but doesn't contradict him

Kazs smile when he forces jesper to cover him when sneaking into the dime lion of whatever

‘Jesper!’ when jesper asks for a blow up dude. His voice sounds like a tired dad

The way jesper jumps when inej appears behind him

Inej killing someone for kaz without hesitation

The way kaz waits with her, to tell her she saved his life, wasting precious seconds of escape, because while he might not understand her unwillingness to kill, he knows its hard for her and has enough compassion to offer her a few seconds of assurance

Inejs face when kaz accidentally reveals how much he sacrificed to get her free of Heleen

How jesper says ‘kaz might just kill heleen himself if you tell him that story’ about why inej knows how to sew herself up

Jesper and kaz getting excited about a heist

The smile kaz gives jesper when he informs him about the heist

‘Just ask’ kaz finally asks and jesper doesn't answer

‘Is it my size?’ ‘you have to ask?” ahhhh😭 ‘remember the last time this happened? You got me a mens.’ ‘it worked didn't it?’ 😭 like an old married couple

Inej telling kaz to be careful before they split up and he gets chased by the inferni

“And uh” looks jesper up and down. ‘Yeah hes gonna need it.’ “a goat.” jespers face

‘Boss’

Jespers goodbye to milo

[magicalyaku]

Great, so apparently I read a lot in August, so now I have to wreak my brain to remember so many books. Thank you, past-me.

Ace Voices (Eris Young): My one non-fiction book of the year! I'm bad with non-fiction books because I should read them on paper and read them twice to grasp all the concepts which of course I won't do, so afterwards I don't really remember what I read. It took a bit to get used to the writing because it's very personal from the author's perspective, which is not how know my non-fiction books from the back then, but ultimately I liked this one for compiling a variety of different experiences about different topics from the aspec community, and especially to topics relevant to my own current writing. Might be a good ressource.

Wrath Becomes Her (Aden Polydoros): I've read pretty much all of the author's other books, with The City Beautiful being the my first and favorite. This one is his second best in my opinion. It's not a story to enjoy, because of war and death and grief, but it's very intense, an interesting idea and well-rendered. I only wish the author had written in his afterword why he picked that setting in the first place.

You Owe Me One, Universe (Chad Lucas): This is the sequel to Thanks a lot Universe, which I liked a lot. I think first one was stronger but there a themes that are better dealt with when a story and characters are already established. My memory is a bit wonky but I dare say this one is about change - growing up, changing family situations, friendships, can the bully become a better person and such. It's still pretty heavy in some parts while also idealistic in others. But really, if we're not idealistic in a middle grade book, then where else?

Brave Face (Shaun David Hutchinson): Oops, this being a memoir is actually my second non-fiction book in a year. I think it's the very first memoir I read at all. It was easy to read and to understand because it feel like a story with all the shit that happened. I guess, that's why some people have things to tell about their lives and others don't. It also gives a good insight why his books are they way they are.

Evergreen (Davin Greenlee): I waited 6 months for my copy of this! Was a real surprise when I suddenly got the shipping notice. Was it worth the wait? Hm. Not the first half. That was frustrating because my logic is different than the characters'. The protagonist was kept away by his mother from humans for his entire childhood and youth and how long it would have gone on, for safety reasons. But I think it'd be much safer to get a child used to the outside world where you have an excuse to hover around it as a parent and when something happens, because children naturally don't know things. Whereas when a 30-year-old man goes outside and embarasses himself because he doesn't know shit about humans, it's much worse. What did the mother think when she put a neighbor her son's age right next to his nose? Of course, he's going to talk to them. And don't be exasperated he fell into a pool when you didn't tell him the dangers! Just going on with "It's not safe" never helped anyone. Give them details! That was annoying. The second half, however, got much more enjoyable. One thing in the ending made me sigh because of course it had to go that route when there was another much more attractive choice right next to it, would have made the message stronger. But well. I do think the author has potential (and a lot of perseverance!)

Caught in a Bad Fauxmance (Elle Gonzalez Rose): Here's one I don't have a story about, so I have a hard time recalling what happened in the book. That's the reason I picked it in the first place, though, easy light-hearted read. I think I read most of this on the train to a convention, and I had a good time. Like "oh no, I should sleep a bit, but I want to continue reading because it's fun." And really, sometimes that's all we need, right.

Deke & Hat Trick (Fake Boyfriends 3+5) (Eden Finley): These covers absolutely don't fit what I usually read! Aah! 8D Explanation: I was sick in bed with a fever and the flu and needed something to keep the brain busy but not too complicated. Time for an audiobook, I reckoned. And somehow these were the only books my library had available that fit my tastes, I had not already read, or were too heavy. I have to admit, my expectations in these kind of books are very low, basically porn with a bit of story as decoration. So I was pleasantly surprised that they're actually not that bad. Nothing to win a prize, but they are entertaining, the characters are quite likeable, as is the writing and some of the more serious topics, like being gay in professional sports, are handled well (from an outsider perspective such as mine at least). After I finished Deke, I immediately put on the next one. And then, a day later I felt like I was being brainwashed and decided not to listen to any more of those (like ever). 8D Also, I still know nothing about hockey and don't want to know~

That's it for August. Expect the remaining reviews of 2024 in the remaining days of 2024. :'D