#like...why do you expect quality. you're setting yourself up for failure here

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

you really need to raise your standards for what's considered "a phrase" because if it only makes sense in the specific context of the post it was originally found in and it isn't repeatable in other situations, that's not a phrase that has entered the lexicon, that's just something someone said one time.

i started this thing last week i need all the posts i can handle

What doesn't alter your vocabulary may alter, or may have already altered, someone else's. This is not about adding to The General Lexicon - I have an entire tag for things that change this site as a whole, which has a higher bar; this is largely about novelty and humor. This is us curb-stomping whatever the fuck we want into the right form for our needs, whatever those needs may be, including altering aspects of the phrase to fit the necessary format or context. It's a linguistic shotgun.

its my fuckin blog bitch ill shit where i want

[mr-entj]

Hi Mr ENTJ, How do you deal with doubt? That gripping feeling that you're just not enough and you should be better? How do you look for answers from the inside rather than just patch in on from the outside? Thanks.

Related answers:

Can you talk about the quality(ies) or trait(s) that contributed most to your success?

What do you think is required from a person to succeed ?

Dealing with failure and overcoming adversity

You’re referring specifically to self-doubt. This is a great question that took me a long time to properly articulate a response because I didn’t want to dismiss it with a stereotypical: “I don’t feel self-doubt. I just fix the problem, power through it, and move on!” like every other ExTJ out there. I want to properly explain why this is the case so let me try:

I don’t often experience self-doubt or the gripping feeling that I’m not good enough, not because I’m a perfect human being (far from it-- here’s a greatest hits collection of some of my biggest failures), but because of my general approach to life that’s shaped by a few key beliefs.

1. I know where the world ends and where I begin

This means that I know where the line exists between what I want and what the world wants, between who I am and who other people want me to be, and between my expectations for my life and other people’s expectations of me. I see this boundary crystal clear and I enforce it. I set my own goals and I hold myself accountable to them.

This helps fight self-doubt because I don’t attach my self-esteem and self-worth to externally defined goals or assessments, I don’t accept unwanted input into my personal life from people who don’t matter, and I don’t compare myself to other people in destructive ways. If I compare myself to other people, it’s for the purposes of data gathering and not validation.

For example, the knowledge that most students graduate college in 4 years tells me that 4 years is the average amount of time. My key takeaway is that 3 years is above average speed and 4+ years is below average speed so I should aim to get my degree in approximately 4 years. My key takeaway is not that I’m a disastrous failure if I don’t graduate college in 4 years. And FYI, I ended up graduating in 6 years because I dropped out for 2 years and I still turned out fine.

Self-defined and self-enforced goals are critical to combating self-doubt because they mute all the outside noise; pushy parents, nosy friends, aggressive colleagues, and fickle societal standards. Life is very difficult by itself without the added complexity of multiple people pulling you in different directions that you don’t even want to go. Set clear boundaries and take the time to self-reflect what’s important to you so that you can be happy with the results of your efforts even if they don’t yield acknowledgement from anyone else.

tl;dr:

Find peace with the life you create for yourself because it’s you that has to live it.

2. I keep the big picture in mind, always

This means perspective. In the grand scheme of things, small losses here and there don’t amount to much because life is a marathon and not a sprint. This means that if you screw up today, there’s a high chance you can fix it tomorrow. If not, then know the world isn’t going to end because of it. The sun will still rise, babies will still be born, puppies will still be cute, your family will still love you, Tumblr will still be toxic, and the earth will still spin on its axis. I have failed classes, almost got held back in school, screwed up at work, infuriated important people, been rejected from 100+ jobs, lost important scholarships, and things still worked out because those failures didn’t matter in the long run even if they felt enormous at the time I was experiencing them. I know mistakes can be fixed, they’re not permanent, and they don’t sabotage the grand vision I have for my life. It makes the times I fall on my ass less painful which consequently makes me less fearful of trying to fly over and over again until I get it right.

This helps fight self-doubt because I attach failure to individual outcomes (actions) but I do not attach failure to me personally (identity).

For example, if I applied to Harvard University but got rejected, my interpretation of that outcome is this: “I failed to get into Harvard.” Yes, I failed to get into Harvard (action) but no, I am not a failure (identity).

The failure starts and stops at the end of an outcome, I don’t let it escape its container and infect other parts of my life by internalizing this kind of garbage: “I failed to get into Harvard so I’m dumb, I’m unworthy, and I suck.” This prevents self-doubt because I know failure is an isolated incident and I don’t take it personally. I don’t absorb failure as a personal identity-- I attach it to the specific event, action, or outcome and then store it in my vast library of knowledge as a lesson learned.

tl;dr:

Life is long and screwing up is part of the journey. Remember that you can fail at things (action) without being a failure (identity).

3. I accept that life is a game of probability

This means that I view life as a statistics game with events on a sliding scale between low probability of success and high probability of success. Probability of success is influenced by many variables such as my preparation, my natural abilities, the economy, my competition, timing, etc. I adjust the probability of success based on those variables to make better predictions:

I know that if my goal is to join the National Basketball Association (NBA), my probability of success is lower because my basketball skills and physical traits are below the average of a typical professional basketball player.

I know that if my goal is to get accepted to one of the best universities in the world, my probability of success is higher because my grades, test scores, and academic profile are above the average of a typical applicant.

Low probability of success doesn’t mean low effort. I don’t half-ass things that are unlikely to happen, I put high effort in all my endeavors if I really care about them and an obvious example of that is my life. Everything I’ve achieved in my life has been statistically improbable because I come from an underprivileged background where it was highly unlikely for me to have the life I have now. I beat the odds and achieved my goals anyway because I maximized my chances of success.

This perspective influences how I interpret success and failure:

Low probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is what I expected so I’m not surprised, but at least I tried, gave it my best shot, and I know the answer. I’ll learn where I can improve and take that knowledge forward into the future.”

Low probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is not what I expected but I’m pleased it went my way. I understand this was an exception to the norm and I’m grateful it leaned in my favor.”

High probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is what I expected and I’m pleased it went my way. I need to continue doing the things that worked well and keep that knowledge for future reference.”

High probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is not what I expected so I’m disappointed. I need to evaluate why I failed, understand how I can improve, and try again until I get it right.”

This helps fight self-doubt because it does one very crucial thing for me: it makes it impossible for me to lose.

I tell people all the time: “I’m undefeated because I’m still standing and I’m still going.” I can’t lose, I can only learn. It enables me to set realistic goals, have realistic expectations about my chances to achieve them, understand why I failed, and feel grateful when I succeed. Success is never guaranteed and failure is always accounted for in my calculations so I’m never blindsided. I know that I can be “perfect” and still fail, but I also know that I can be “imperfect” and still succeed. If I’ve done everything within my power and it’s still not going my way, then I’m not plagued with self-doubt because I can accept it was beyond my control and that it’s time to try something else.

tl;dr:

Many things in life are out of your control but try your best so you have peace of mind that you’re not quitting-- you’re moving on.

I’m not invincible, but for these reasons, it’s rare for me to feel self-doubt because I don’t view life as a game of “am I good enough or not?” I view life as a game of “what’s the best way to get what I want and did it work?” My two options are then: 1) Succeed, learn, and move on or 2) Fail, learn, and move on. There’s no third option to spiral into uncertainty and crippling self-doubt. I focus my energy on identifying the problem, the variables I can control, and the learnings from my outcomes.

In the rare times I do feel self-doubt, I go through a rigorous self-reflection exercise to identify the cause whether that’s concerns about personal decisions I’ve made, thoughts on my professional trajectory, or the state of my relationships. I identify the outcome that I want, gather information on how to secure that outcome, and give it my best shot. The result of that effort provides knowledge, wisdom, and opportunities to either 1) continue on the same path or 2) stop and try something else.

Ultimately, I always feel like there’s something wonderful in life waiting for me just around the corner and agonizing over past failures or self-doubt-- instead of getting up and trying again-- only delays me getting it.

[omegangrins]

A Treatise On the Doctor

I don't know how to start this. Because I think of Peter Capaldi's words when he said that the only thing required to be a Doctor Who fan, is kindness.

I like 13 and think Chibnall is doing his best job writing the show.

So I struggle to write this because I am engaging against that very unkindness in the Doctor Who fandom, and trying very hard not to be angry back. "Allways try to be nice but never fail to be kind." But I've begun to wonder more and more if those who speak so loudly against the show really know what the show itself is about.

Enough of talking about other people though, cause frankly they're only important as set-up for this conversation. And again, I'm working kind.

So here's what you're gonna learn from this lifelong fan (and the best Tl;dr you're gonna get):

1. The Doctor sucks. From the very beginning. People complain about character traits now that have been around as long as the show.

2. Due to the Doctor's suckage, they tend to do more harm than good. (And because of this, most of the Doctor's "friends" along the way have been, well, let's leave it at the air quotes for now cause it's a damn big list of "BOOOO!!!".)

3. All of the showrunners and writers and actors and editors and everyone else has allways knows this and has played it this way.

4. And last but not least, since this is a time travel show. If you wanna know what and why stuff is happening now, look it up. Everything that happened before is allways in play.

5. None of this is bad, and in fact, it makes the show morally grayer. It's about kindness at all costs. Even your own.

A. First things first, the hard thing. The Doctor is not grrrreat. I mean, sure they try, but they fail a lot more often. In Extremis, a majority of those fatality index counts come from people the Doctor failed to save. That's why it's worded so specifically as "cause of death". All the death's caused by the Doctor's very interaction with time and lack of saving those around them. And part of it's not their fault, but more often than not, the Doctor says I can save you, and can't, won't, or chooses not to.

And that would be alright, but it took them over 1000 years to realize they should start letting their companions lead lives outside of theirs so THEY DON'T DIE. A bit too long as someone who claims to be better.

Not to mention how many times the Doctor is dismissive of their companions and the people around them only to use them for their help and just bug off again. If they truly cared and wanted to help, they would stay and listen in between adventures. Their lifespan is near infinite anyway. What's a few extra Earth hours with some friends you made along the way. You know, maybe fix some of the psychological and emotional damage created by encountering things behind a human's original scope of reasoning. But nope, we gotta go adventure more, byyyyeee!!

So when people talk about these qualities in 13 in a negative aspect I have to laugh because I'm not sure if they understand the joke. Cause we're talking about an alien that grew up around a species calling themselves Time Lords. I try not to blame them too much for it. 1 had to learn how to be hospitable to humans and it's been a bit of a slow learning curve ever since.

B. After the Doctor survived the horrors of the Time War and happened upon a human companion they felt worth connecting to, what did they do? They took Rose to watch her planet burn in front of her eyes. Great, first date, amirite?

And that's a little bit of companion damage. Do you know that the Doctor is responsible for the almost complete genocide of the Silurian race across multiple occasions. I am legitimately surprised there are any left after all of the ones the Doctor has killed. Like before, they cause destruction either purposefully or accidentally or simply by force of being there.

Remember before how I said that the Doctor just flies away. Yeah, they leave a lot of problems behind when they do (something that I can see Chibnall is planting the seeds of). If you had a time and space machine and practically unlimited capabilities and you choose to just leave after a situation and not check up on them from time to or see if there are any other underlying crises to be solved. But oh no, "gotta follow that rule of time and keep going even though I stopped in the first place because of how interested I was.". This is why 9 has a great arc about this. He thought he killed all the Daleks. They came back. He thought he'd gotten rid of the Slitheen. They came back. He thought he saved Satellite 5 from aliens. But opsies, they came back. And look! They're Daleks. Which he "finally" got rid of.

The Doctor just bounces around all carefree and without an ounce of care for themselves, their companions or consequences unless there's consequences for themselves or their companions. Then they get indignant.

Is that really kind of the person you want flying around fixing things in time and space? Who knows. But at least they are trying. Most of the time the T.A.R.D.I.S. lands somewhere and the authority figures are the most pretentious bull-headed pigs you can find. To me, I laugh cause it seems like both sides end up getting a taste of their own medicine. Usually with the bull charging to death in a sad glory while the Doctor wiles on metaphorically about not being as good as them.

But again, as a "superior" alien with "advanced" technology and "culture" you'd think they'd just know better already. But that's all part of the character. The Doctor may be in flux, but true change is difficult. The real hero of every story is the other people BESIDES the Doctor.

Cause the title is Doctor *Who* . The Who being half of the title, despite having less letters. It's the constant question of "What and why and who is that crazy person that's trying to help?" Why do you think they keep flying back to Earth? (Besides set construction reasons.) They've grown as attached to us as we have to them. And at this point, a lot of their saving us is guilt and embarrassment at having a hand in our timeline.

This is also the same reason the Doctor dumps companions in a fluff. Baggage. Every time a companion gets too heavy to carry the memories of... off they fly.

Except for 13. She's stayed. To this end, we can see how the Doctor changes. Not on our smaller, human timelines, but on the timeline of a god with way too much power.

D. With that in mind, we go Classic. It's the Who you need to consult if you wish to make any critique on what's happening now. Because how can you know how a part operates inside of a whole without seeing the whole part?

Cause I don't know if you've watched it but it can be rough, and I don't mean in the sense of production value (which admittedly they do a fairly decent job of using what money they had. A problem the BBC plagues to Doctor Who to this day.). The 3rd Doctor shits on every one they call friends constantly and then turns around expecting help. 4 did the same. Then 5 masked that contempt with a plucky face and a cheeky word. But it was still there, bubbling out of 6 and 7 as the inability to suffer fools gladly and using their own righteousness to enact change in their companions. A trait that kept going til an entire war and regeneration was used solving the question of "Doctor Who?" Only for them to try and forget twice more by putting on their pretty grinning faces and running away from it.

And I'm only talking from a companion perspective. Each of the Doctors has enacted their own form of genocide on countless species. Sure, it's to "save humans" but at the end of the day you'd have to ask yourself if we're really worth that blood. And this is all in the Doctor's history. As much as they claim better, they're hands are still gushing red.

The Doctor left Jo because she fell in love. They drove Adric to put their life on the line in order to feel adequate. The entirety of the Silurian race has been wiped out fivefold under their watch, with one time by their hand itself. Same for several other singular and unique species you won't be able to find elsewhere in the universe. 7 used time travel to enact a personality change in Ace while simultaneously using her as a pawn in an interdimensional war. The Time War itself. Sure it got erased but the Doctor still did those things ("War" Doctor or whatever nonsense titles they feel necessary to delude themselves). The entirety of Amy's childhood was destroyed by their presence, and Rory got erased. Twice! Sarah Kingdom. We know the list. Hell, the Doctor whisked Barbara and Ian away because they wanted to teach the snobby humans some lessons.

They may have a time machine, but we have the bill of their actions. This is where 13 excels. Because they're trying to be better than themselves. They've learnt the lessons of all those years traveling and the failures they wish they could reverse but don't as a way of keeping a scoreboard of pain. It's not perfect by any means, but look at 12 needing cue cards to understand and react to human grief under duress. They've come a helluva long way. After 50 years, I'm inclined to believe better. After all, it's what the Doctor would want.

E. You know how people like the ASOIAF series because it offers up morally complex characters existing in a morally complex world where black and white are harder to define than grey? Have you ever thought of Doctor Who as the same? Strip past the fairytale and adventure and "wibbly wobbly timey wimeyness and it's just people reacting to situations. We're just harder on the Doctor because they're hard on us. You could go round and round on who's the bigger killer, but at the end of the day Time Lords and humans fight and feel about the same things. It's allways been a joke to pretend otherwise.

That's why I love the Timeless Child. Not for making the Doctor anymore special but for saying that even despite having all of their specialness ripped away and repurposed to create a lie of a society then having the memory wiped of said event, the Doctor broke out of their mold, stole a TARDIS and told the Time Lords to fuck off. That's not a Captain America/Superman hero. That's Batman in space with a society of Lex Luthor's. Gotham and Gallifrey. The Doctor saw what they were a part of and broke free, without even knowing the more horrifying truth. Cause it's the thing I see many fans missing because they're so preocuppied with the Doctor being special. The thing that made the Doctor different was their ability to know the difference and walk away to find better. Now, the Doctor has a reason to go back and find out why they never stopped running.

The Time Lords might be the greatest monsters in the universe. It is in the name. "Lords". Those who would lord over us and impose their will with a banthium fist.

And this is a children's show.

C the thing is, the people who made and make this show all collectively rail against one thing: Hate. Kindness is the way of Doctor's. Even if they're sawing off your leg, it's to do the kindness of saving your life. This is because the people who make this (United Kingdomers) have seen centuries of war and conflict and oppression enacted by their own country in the name of progress. And they want to see it no more. Look no further than any of the Doctor's adventures with UNIT. Allways advocating for peace and being ignored for the comfortable war-cry. It's why it's hard to blame the Doctor when we do very similar and often worse (though we don't have time travel.... yet). The creators of this show know better, see better, and wrote better, to know that the powers that be nipped would nip their creations and sanitize them. So they wrote their messages so strong that you can feel them from the future. They're powerfull enough that even across eras they have all collectively moved me to write this.

That's another point I have to laugh at people saying Doctor Who has never been in your face about progressive politics. The Green Death. Survival. Trial of a Timelord (Yes, all of it. Sit down and power through.) The Happiness Patrol is one of my all time favorite episodes for going there in this regard. People may poo poo but history has its' eyes on you. Doctor Who loves taking potshots at the issues of the day. As long as you don't make the aliens black of course. Make them all the colors of the rainbow but never make them black. That'd be too on the nose (That's something they used to say back in the day! Crazy how far we've come).

So bravoa to Chibnall for continuing the legacy of Doctor Who. From where I'm standing, he's not doing anything different than any other showrunner before him. Cause if you want to argue canon, you at least have to know what created it. This show owes what it is to those Classic eras. And if you think Chibnall is shitting on those years and your childhood.... well, then why did you read this whole thing?

[alyssa-orowane]

Fantasy tropes to avoid (and ideas to reinvent them)

Hello aspiring writers of Tumblr! How is it going?

This is my first post on here and I decided to dedicate it not only to the genre I am writing in, fantasy, but also to a crucial topic, which relates and affects every genre in different ways.

TROPES.

It's lazy to build stories on something that has already been written a million times before. I don't like tropes at all as a reader. If I wanted to read the same stereotyped story all over again I would just stick to the previous book I have read with that same plot, so I would also spare myself the trouble of learning the unpronounceable names of these new stereotyped characters.

On the other hand, as a writer it might be tempting to give in and use tropes. "Why not? After all everybody uses them and I am already SO busy writing the actual chapters of my story."

I tell you what: every time a trope threatens to slide into your story, crush the page and throw it across the room, yelling:

Seriously, though: tropes are just general, undeveloped ideas. That's what you need to do, develop them. In this way only will you ever be able to unleash their hidden potential.

Without further ado, may I present you three of the most common fantasy tropes and hints to reimagine them.

*Keep in mind that this is only my personal view on the subject and you can either agree or disagree with it.

1. The chosen one

This one is the most obvious one and I am also quite sure that you expected to find it on the list. Interesting, Watson: I guess that it makes this article stereotyped too…

Well we all know those characters. Those characters that were meant to be the one. The prophecies had spoken about them long before they were even born. They might as well be the only one capable of using magic or wielding a certain weapon. This character is either the only one who pushes forward the storyline or that one protagonist who does everything except choosing anything actively in the plot. There is no in between. Either way, they only possess notable qualities. Of course there is no trace of flaws. I mean, they are the hero.

Have a side-kick (or co-protagonist) be the chosen one instead

A great idea, if you really want to insert this trope in your story, is to use it to your advantage and surprise the reader with it. Who could ever expect that the protagonist was actually never the chosen one? Or that another character is the chosen one from the start?

To see this trope well recreated I recommend watching the BBC TV series "Merlin" in which a young sorcerer, Merlin himself, must help the future heir to the throne, the prince Arthur Pendragon, to fulfill his destiny and become the greatest king who has ever lived. Arthur has no clue of what has been foretold, nor that he even is at the centre of a prophecy. All of Merlin and Arthur's choices will determine either the glorious success or the tragic failure of the quest; all of this while Merlin hides his powers from Arthur and everyone else as magic is condemned in Camelot.

2. Overused fantasy Races

...which translates mostly into putting Elves, Dwarves, Trolls, dragons and any of the Tolkenian elements and creatures in your own story. Now, don't get me wrong. Tolkien is one of my favourite authors, hence I am always captivated by those fantasy novels that display these Races in their stories. But I don't want to read a copy, I want to read your own masterpiece.

That's exactly why you should:

Redesign the well-known fantasy Races and adapt them to your world and to your theme or just create brand new ones

Personally, I absolutely LOVE to craft new fantasy Races. I believe that it adds depth and realism to the world-building (which does not consist only of geography). Each civilisation brings their culture, their traditions to your story and that's what makes a world truly breathe. In my opinion, the purpose of fantasy is not to focus just on the epic deeds narrated or on endless battles enriched with magic and legends, though those are very important part of this genre and they must be just as equally developed. The reason why I write fantasy is to spread awareness around the vast variety of themes that coexist in our society nowadays, in the first place global warming, the racism that still today people experience, LGBTQ characters which are often unrepresented both in literary fiction and TV. What better genre than fantasy is there to represent diversity and multiculturalism? On these latter points I will never not be thanking and loving the works of Steven Erikson which are part of the high-fantasy series "Malazan Book of the Fallen". Diversity and the brand new variety of intriguing Races are a huge part of what makes Malazan such an awesome fantasy series. I refer to Steven Erikson as the main inspiration of my writing and I recommend you to give a try to his books, if you have the chance. I warn you though, that it is not any light or easy reading.

The other option might be to reinvent the well-known Races. Tolkien himself did not "invent" the Elves of Middle Earth, rather he made a legend of his own after having studied the myths and ballads of ancient civilities. Then he developed their language, their history and their culture as if they were a real existing population. Every single aspect of Tolkien's worldbuilding can be read in his Silmarillion. I think it is a must-read for anyone who is looking forward to reinvent the traditional fantasy Races or just to know more about them.

3. Unfailing magic systems

Magic can be anything you want. That doesn't mean, however, that it should be your escape point: stuff in your story should happen because of your characters, not only because of magic as it is simpler to put it that way. A magic system should be rational and engaging. The reader needs to be able to understand exactly how, when and why does magic work in your world. No, the answer should not be "because it's fantasy."

Set rules, limits and costs to the magic in your world

How do character gain magic abilities? Is magic accessible to everyone or is it elitist? Is it taught in specialised schools or is it something that resonates from within? Are wizards free to practice magic or is it banned? Or maybe are there only specific areas of magic that are prohibited? What is its source? Does magic come from higher beings or are spells more powerful the stronger the mage's will? Does magic need a catalyst (such as a talisman, a weapon etc.) to be casted? If not, do wizard recite spells? Do they need to trace specific symbols? Otherwise is it necessary to make specific hand gestures in order to release their powers? Does it exist only one system for all mages to use or are there multiple kinds? Last but not least, what are magic users in your world called? It's all up to you to decide. Ask questions and let each question lead you to another one. You need to know exactly how your magic system works and so does the reader.

What I love about crafting magic systems is the freedom to establish the boundaries and the natural laws that apply to your world, as magic is a huge part of the story if you're writing fantasy. Well, this could also lead to another question: is your world actually ruled by magic forces or do magic abilities have just a marginal role in the world building?

Remember that magic should not be used as an excuse to fill eventual plot holes in your story. Your magic system should function correctly and it should always stay true to itself. In other words, it must be believable.

And I can hear you thinking "but it‘s magic!"

Then guess what? You need to make the readers believe that magic is real!

First of all, set the rules, the limits and the costs that apply to your system. Having done that, you'll have finished most of the work that concerns the use of magic in your world. Most, not all. If you are a bit of a perfectionist like I am, consider the importance of developing your system furthermore by asking yourself questions, such as the one I have written above.

Rules: decide what makes your system work and what magic can be casted for.

Limits: decide what kind of tasks your magic system cannot perform.

Costs: decide from what kind of source is magic obtained from and, literally, what does it cost to mages to obtain their magic from this source (as Rumpelstiltskin of OUAT wisely says: "all magic comes with a price.")

The most excellent and well-rounded magic systems I have ever come across are the ones created by Brandon Sanderson in this "Mistborn" trilogy: allomancy, feruchemy and hemalurgy. All three magic system permit the magicians to use a wide range of abilities based on the metals they can "burn". Magic originates in the Shards and from Preservation and Ruin, two god-like beings. If you're already interested, I definitely recommend you to check Sanderson's novels out: they are a useful resource of inspiration.

I hope this post has somehow given you the inspiration to go and write right now. 
If you have questions about some of the points or requests for the next articles, don't be shy and send me a message! I will try to cover your topic as soon as possible and as best as I can (and I will also tag your profile, if you agree). 
Thank you all for your attention. Bisous^^

[unimpressedperson]

Diary Entry: Wisdom

“Don't waste your time hating a failure. Failure is a greater teacher than success. Listen, learn, go on.” (Clarissa Pinkola Estés on “Women Who Run With the Wolves”)

Nature is great, did you know that? I love many things about wildlife and have been obsessed with galaxy, clouds and animals for a lifetime - not even an hyperbole here.

Human beings are part of this intricate ecosystem and we’re not the most complicate living thing, however sometimes I can’t understand my own specie. How do people expect me to guess what they are feeling? I know, I know, empathy should come naturally and easily, but sometimes I cannot identify the feeling itself in order to transmit a comprehensive aura and wholesome words.

See, intelligence is instinctive, but wisdom is acquired. Some individuals are wise, some are intelligent. A few are both, even meager have neither. Empathy is a huge piece of wisdom. You cannot be considered wise without comprehending your whereabouts and your surroundings.

Some people are born natural with a load of sensitivity towards living creatures. Some aren’t as skilled without learning and practicing. Can you imagine not being capable of helping a significant other with their struggles? It’s absolutely terrifying.

Lately I’ve been haunted by this feeling of incapability on helping my loved ones, specifically a relative I’m close with.

Graduating high school and trying to find your path from there is tough, not everyone knows what they want to be or apply for in college. Although we are all aware of how longer lifespan is slowly getting, our visions of life phases is still narrow considering the possibilities.

We no longer die at 45 from old age. Some countries have a life expectation of 80+ years and scientists predict that younger generations will comfortably live to 100 years. Why should we make decisions that supposedly will define our adulthood and happiness by the age of 18? It’s way too early for such a milestone. Also there are so many more options of career, hobbies and abilities, setting for only one seems so pointless, yet we stress enough to end our obligatory educational time anxious and - quite often - depressed.

This relative has been struggling to find a career path and graduation.

Whilst speaking to friends and people on internet, I realized that there are a lot of students clueless about their dream careers. And it’s not a lack of ambition, most of them are centered people with intelligence on several areas, yet cannot find one that ticks all boxes. Some find it difficult to fantasy about a future, when all they can think of is gaining money, stability and a 9 to 5 paying job, a minimum wage and feasible promotions.

Century after century, developing new technologies and possibilities, we still worry about living an attainable lifestyle.

I found out what I enjoyed doing - writing - from a very young age. So studying, practicing and improving that skill always seemed felt centered and well guided, aiming on accomplishing. Of course, life took several curves and nothing worked like a charm, yet I’m slowly growing past my own dreams and trying to fulfill them.

Sometimes I doubt it and cry.

Whenever I feel lost and detaching from myself, the only sorcerer capable of helping is a book. Yes, a bundle of pages bind together and very well adorned by a red and velvety-like cover, decorated with golden letters reading “Women Who Run With the Wolves”, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.

Growing up as an introverted and lonely child, I never mingled in with everyone else in school. We didn’t watch the same television shows, listened to the same songs, experienced the same kind of fun. I was raised by my mother and father, but spent countless afternoons fooling around my grandmother’s backyard. I was told how to behave like a lady, how to perform house tasks and cook for a husband. Earlier than expected I felt unsuitable at home as well.

Tried to change in order to conform somewhere and became miserable.

I had personas, but not a single clue about myself. Who the hell am I?

In 2017 I found a list mentioning 10 books about feminism and “Women Who Run With the Wolves” had a different glow, a mystical mist I enjoyed.

It opened my eyes to many aspects of living, deeply knowing yourself and being independent.

Although we’ve been living through many revolutions and drastic changes, society still maintains its narrow-minded behavior when it comes to freedom. Women freedom is feared by those who can’t cope with different personalities. They classify as “wild” whatever cannot be tamed, and sometimes pacifying is the same as numbing a mind.

A society moved by a hierarchy, a patriarchal hierarchy, undoubtedly won’t allow a full mass of people to follow their dreams, acquiring knowledge and thinking for themselves. It’s dangerous for a system permitting freedom of thought or speech. It’s simple putting under pressure generations of young folks surrounded by poorness and difficulties, lacking social and class consciousness, setting them to think of very distinctive life phases and convincing that they should stick to it.

Being wild, conscious of your own flaws, qualities and abilities, becoming smarter, independent, creative and thoroughly knowing yourself is dangerous, and we should embrace every aspect of it.

Sometimes living by your own beat is hard, but everyone resounds different once the pace is set.

Humans are unpredictable and unstable, like rain on summer season and wild like wolves, slowly finding our pack.

Once you know yourself from limit to limit, persona to self, your elementar nature and civilized behavior, feeling empathy for those who didn’t quite reach that level of realization, but also granting fellow old-souls, then you’re wise.

Giving time and cruising your journey peacefully is being wise.

Take it easy on yourself because both the dreams and phases required to accomplish them are set by your perception of time.

If you want to dream big, then dream it. Be it. Embrace it. If you want to dream small, then wish for it. Enjoy it. Go for it.

Dreams are not comparable nor the joyful feeling afterwards. Don't allow people to tell you that your wishes for yourself are insignificant, because even dreaming of waking up to the smell of flowers is beautiful and meaningful, because it belongs to you.

You're free to discover your own path, your own dreams. Free to be wise.

It’s wise to be free.

[wanderbitesbybobbie]

REAL TALK: When you want to enjoy the Holidays, but you're a Pastry Chef

“Go home, Barbara. Go home.” It was almost 10:30 PM and I was the only chef left in the kitchen that night. It was almost December. Abdulah, the head of the kitchen-hands was urging me to go home as he started clearing out all the dirty dishes left. I stared at the docket machine in front of my section and no order dockets were coming out still. I knew I still have to plate about five desserts in total as there were still two tables left. Abdulah kept on peering at me, checking if I was done with my section so he can clean the floor next. “Can you plate the remaining desserts for me?” I joked. “Give me your salary, I’ll do your job.” We both laughed. My joke was half-meant though since I badly wanted to go home and go straight to bed. I just felt like a zombie. It was a very busy Italian Fine Dining Restaurant situated by the lake in Sydney. That day, I had to come early as there was a function at 11 AM. I was the first chef to arrive in the kitchen because I needed to bake my ciabatta earlier than usual. I was there an hour earlier than everyone else. Not even the head chef was there, not even the entree chefs, who usually have more preps than I have. It was a loooong tiring day, and I didn’t expect that I would be the last to go home. FIRST TO COME, LAST TO GO. That was my “normal” hustle. For my readers who have been following this blog since Day 1, you all know the hustle I’m talking about. This was the job that offered me a full-time pastry position and a possible Australian sponsorship, I couldn’t just bounce and leave as I please.

It’s funny, looking back.

It was almost summer in Australia, the breeze was starting to become warm but I didn’t mind. I was used to it. My section was usually warm even in spring, as I had a big commercial oven few steps away so I relied on an industrial fan for ventilation. Christmas was just around the corner, big functions are happening in the restaurant and I was one of the only two pastry chefs they had that time.

I stood by the pass, trying to get a clear view of the servers on the floor. I wanted to tell them to push the diners to order their desserts so I can close my section and go home. Luckily, one of the servers saw me and nodded. I don’t usually stand by the pass as my section is at the back, but when I do, the servers knew that I’m the only chef left in the kitchen. I was hoping their desserts would be easy, something like Trio of Gelato, so I can just scoop the ice cream from the tubs and place them in bowls. Finally, the dockets came out and it wasn’t my lucky night. They ordered for two Chocolate Fondants, Apple Galette, Petit Fours, and Panna Cotta. I quietly placed the hot desserts in the oven, set two different timers, plated my remaining cold desserts, and patiently closed my section after. That night, I was re-thinking and re-evaluating what I really wanted in life. Do I really want this? I was home by 12, took a shower, changed, went to sleep, and got back in the kitchen to do the same routine. Bake ciabatta, do preps for desserts, plate desserts for lunch Ala Carte, do more preps, take a break, plate desserts for dinner Ala Carte, and wait until the last diner finishes for dessert. My routine changes somehow when the restaurant is holding a big function, because then I would have to prep for the function and plate all 200 or 300 dessert plates in one go. I spent 4 days in a week as a pastry chef in the Fine Dining Restaurant, and the remaining three days? I was at Pastry School, balancing life as a working student in a foreign country, still doing pastry at school on my free days. The hospitality industry was my playground. That was my life for almost three years, and the next thing I knew, I was on the plane back to Manila to build (yet again) another pastry shop.

Since 2012, I was in the pastry business. I had a pastry cafe, making cakes and dessert buffets. My career as a pastry chef started after I finished Culinary School in 2011, realizing that I wanted to specialize on a more exciting but more difficult track. I wanted to be in the pastry department. Thus, I flew off to Australia to study more of it. Pastry was more liberating for me, as I get to showcase my art through my plates, my cakes, and my desserts. At the same time, I can master unique flavors, and incorporate them with something I wanted to create. Pastry chefs play an essential part in the kitchen. Being one requires distinctive set of skills, massive patience, knowledge, and exceptional organization to succeed.

When I worked in a commercial pastry shop in Sydney (a year after my job in the fine dining and a short stint as Head Pastry Chef in a health cafe), I was one of the three pastry chefs to fulfill certain roles. We bake the cakes, we decorate them, we bake artisan breads, rolls, croissants, and whatever pastry it was on the shelf. I remember my head chef telling me… “Pastry Chefs are usually slow because you guys work with finesse. You are very precise and you pay close attention to details, while us hot-kitchen chefs, we tend to be more rustic and fast. We don’t mind if the french bread is a bit crooked.” For some reason, I wanted to prove him wrong.  I wanted to show him that pastry chefs can work fast too, but still refined at the same time. I was baking 10 big carrot cakes and small mandarin cakes that time. It was November, almost Christmas again. Orders were loading up. I was working like a machine, trying to go beyond my usual speed. I ended up with a long stinging burn on my arm in the process. The battle scar is still on my arm until now, and I remember that very moment each time I see it. A baking tray accidentally slid on my arm right after I took it out from the oven. I wanted to be fast, but I paid a price for it. I didn’t want to admit it. But it’s probably true. PASTRY CHEFS TEND TO MOVE SLOWER THAN THE REST OF THE CHEFS, BUT WE ARE SLOW FOR A REASON.

We have to get every ingredient in the exact amount. Pastry is NEVER similar to cooking. In the hot kitchen, you can add ingredients and dilute and reduce anytime of the day. If your dish is bland, add more salt. If it’s too salty, dilute it with water. If it’s too runny, make a reduction. However in Patisserie, you measure all ingredients in one go, bake it in the oven, and hope and pray that your recipe is not f*cked up. You cannot just open the oven, check if it’s runny, check if it’s salty or too sweet, you cannot just add baking powder and hope it rises how you want it to rise. There’s only two things in Pastry: SUCCESS OR FAIL. It’s either you get your perfect cakes and cookies out, or you get them flat and dry. There’s no addition, dilution, reduction, whatsoever in pastry. This is why we are slow, because we have to get every detail right. 

Being a pastry chef is never a glamorous job, but it is very fulfilling. Especially in the Holidays, when you get to see your loaf boxes, your cakes, your desserts in the middle of a party or family table. It is very gratifying, seeing people receive special cookie boxes from your regular clients.

What is it like to be a pastry chef during the Holidays anyway?

In a commercial restaurant set-up, it is more often than not massive numbers of desserts to plate, huge amounts of preps, and tiresome hours spent standing and walking right and about your kitchen section. This is probably the part when you start working on auto-pilot while your brain is somewhere in The Bahamas. I have experienced being both, an employed pastry chef and a business owner. The difference? With being a part of a restaurant kitchen team, YOU NEVER DEAL WITH CLIENTS FIRST HAND. You have the servers and the floor-manager to do that for you. Sometimes, when the encounter gets a little bit close, the Head Chef handles it. It’s never you. You are but a chef of the pastry section, the higher-ups can do the “talking” while you do all the pastry work. But when you are a business-owner… It’s another twisted story. Ask me again.

What is it like to be a pastry chef and a business owner at the same time during the Holidays anyway?

Here it goes. It is numerous inquiries on your page, asking for your location, menu, lead time, and delivery details. It is triple the number of your usual orders, Christmas parties, corporate events, family gatherings, name it… your dessert is the star of the show. You have to make this right, honey. It is countless hours of reviewing orders and making sure that the raw materials that you have ordered is enough. It is a whole day spent with suppliers, shopping and ordering for the ingredients that you need. It is hours and hours being physically stuck in traffic while your mind and soul is in your pastry kitchen. It is a daunting process of making sure that all your packaging and preps are of the perfect shape. It is staying up late, baking whatever it is on the order sheet, making sure that the orders will be delivered to your clients’ doorstep in the best possible quality. It is several days of doing your preps, but no matter how hard you try, you end up messing up something unintentionally and you have to do the entire process all over again. It is having no social-life, because you spend your days talking to your clients and delivery partners, making sure that every delivery runs smoothly. It is constantly having nightmares about plumbing, kitchen failures, and pest-control. It is a battle between baking powder, baking soda, and icing sugar… and wondering why they all look the same but taste and reacts enormously different. It is accidentally putting the wrong powder on the pastry, pulling out the deliveries, and having no one to blame but yourself (no boss/head pastry chef to yell at you, no kitchen hand to point fingers to). It is immeasurable hours of reading and researching the perfect recipes hoping that what works in France works in your kitchen in Asia too. It is straight hours standing and sauntering in your own kitchen, listening to whatever that will wake you up to keep you focused. It is a roller coaster joyride waiting for a client feedback, hoping it is positive and winning. It is seeing your piled-up bowls, scrapers, wire whisks, and spatula in the sink, wishing they get washed and dried in a blink of an eye. It is sleepless nights and days, eating lunch in the afternoon, and dinner as midnight snack. It is trying to get comfort with Christmas songs, hoping that everything would be over soon… but still wishing that next year is as lucrative (or more) as this year. It is feeling guilty turning on Netflix, when you have preps waiting for you in the kitchen. It is delegating responsibilities and tasks to your staff to ensure that your workflow is as organized as possible… and if you don’t have staff, it is waking up really early in the morning, pre-heating the oven yourself, and cleaning your kitchen counter to start your day (maybe a chance of having breakfast if the time allows it). It is months and months of costing, calculating every cent that goes into your work (ingredients, electricity, water, packaging, shipping fee, overhead… lalalalalala. Yes, that pinch of salt is worth a penny). It is constantly thinking of your worn-out set of equipment and dreaming of upgrading them through the fruits of your labor. It is concocting and stabilizing the perfect mixture, for what it’s worth. It is continuously asking yourself whether you really want to pursue this or not? It is having trust issues with everything (including that opened box of cream that has been in the chiller for 3 straight days). It can go on and on forever. It is an exhausting, draining, emotionally challenging, life-sucking profession, but there’s no way you will exchange it for anything in the world.

You sit there in one corner, maybe with your family, or maybe alone in a foreign country (or taking a break from your kitchen duty). Thankful, you still have a bit of energy left to enjoy the festivities. You know deep inside, it’s not the money that pays you. It’s the thought of having your desserts out there, bringing delight and pleasure to anyone you serve.

BIG SALUTE TO ALL THE KITCHEN WARRIORS WHO CHOOSE TO WORK DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON!

Through out the years, it’s a challenging but joyous battle we all have won. It’s the service we provide that completes every occasion. If you’re an aspiring pastry chef/executive chef/business owner, we all start from somewhere. Have faith and never give up. If you feel like you are experiencing failure, remember FAIL means First Attempt In Learning. The best teacher is not your books nor your degree. May your sweat and tears bring you to success. Like I always say in my previous blogs, BE BRAVE. TAKE RISKS. NOTHING CAN EVER SUBSTITUTE EXPERIENCE.

This is probably the last blog post I can ever write for this year as I’ll be back to “pastry-chefing” a few hours from now. The holidays is a yearly challenge, but it allows us to grow, improve, and learn from previous mistakes. To you reading this… JUST KEEP GOING! YOU’RE SLAYING IT! 🙂

Happy Holidays everyone and enjoy the rest of 2019. All the best for 2020!

CHEERS!

    REAL TALK: When you want to enjoy the Holidays, but you’re a Pastry Chef was originally published on WanderBitesByBobbie

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Accounting Headhunters - Accounting Headhunting Services For Company

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Hire Accounting Headhunters - 9 Ridiculous Rules About ACCOUNTING HEADHUNTERS

Accountants - year end tax tips, how to see a financial statement, 5 reasons why doing taxes yourself is not a good thing. What is your area of expertise? Tax accounting? QuickBooks? Write about it.

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Accounting Headhunting Services - The Philosophy Of ACCOUNTING HEADHUNTERS

The pitching of Jon Lester had been not nearly as noteworthy when compared to the second-inning hitting of his teammates, even so it was still effective lots of. Lester pitched 7.0 innings, in conjunction with facing three batters regarding eighth inning before to be able to leave online game with a hip injury, and saw four earned runs charged to his account.

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Require Accounting Headhunters - Find A Quick Way To ACCOUNTING HEADHUNTERS

The picture is regarded. One has a great technical skill and sees the chance to go solo. So he or she leaves the 9 to 5 jobs and invest all of their savings construct a commercial.

Need Accounting Headhunters -How To Turn Your ACCOUNTING HEADHUNTERS From Zero To Hero

Will Obama see a 2 or 3% increase in actual results vs. poll results the actual it? Folks entirely thinkable. But it's also hard to count on that until it's actually proven on election special day. 

The Hawkeyes collected 11 hits amongst people and four players - Goodman, Mangler, Brand and Hickman - all had two-hit online casino games. Goodman was 2-for-5 with an RBI while a run scored, Mangler was 2-for-4 by RBI and Brand was 2-for-2 with two runs and three hit by pitches. Hickman finished 2-for-4 with two runs. 

If have to have want begin a business but you still want comprehend how to be rich, you can. While most wealthy individuals are business owners, you Accounting Headhunter Near Me can still be rich even a great employee. To get rich, you will need to improve your earnings and reduce your buying. It's all about saving some money. The more money you save, the faster is will grow and multiply.

They can be obsessed about making money, but perhaps money motivated these succeed. It will take motivation for you to Accounting Headhunter Services succeed for an entrepreneur across the world. There motivation is fuel to them since failure is not an option for them. They will not fail is really a statement the player live day in and day out in the world of business. 

In this point in time of more expensive rates together lower expectation for everyday life, it very well may be hard to pay bills. Be that as it may, on account of an advanced superhighway, you'll have the capacity to in any case produce salary at home and in this way include towards reserve funds. Don't imagine it any other way, notwithstanding: money . at home does not imply that you transform yourself into a quick tycoon. Just methods with the goal that you can include originating from what you have and in any case have the capacity to gain something while you are working in the accommodation house. Profiting at home is perfect and practical for stay-at-home guardians, understudies who require to expand their investment funds, or people who do canrrrt you make the expected degrees to make it in the requesting laborers.  

Investigation every last one of the components for this cleaning administration business. From customer want to promoting, charges, laborers, protection and holding, what to charge ways to deal with clean your home expertly. Cleaning your private home and cleaning expertly is various. Concentrate the most ideal approach to clean expertly takes a lot of one's vitality. At the point when a customer will cover your administrations they hope to get back home and find their home immaculate. 

Expense law is among the confused fields of the lawful framework. Taking a couple of expense law classes in graduate school doesn't give a lawyer the preparation or experience important to speak to you successfully versus the IRS. Will resemble setting off to an obstetrician for excessively troublesome. They're the two specialists, truly, yet with altogether different claims to fame. 

Primary concern, in case you're profiting for the organization, may never make spending plan. On the off chance that the business doesn't utilizing.mainly benefit, it is out of monetary and can't pay your wages. In any case, if profit for the business.mainly benefit, more then likely you frequently makes all the more financing.  

I have a customer in Orlando who's three of her youngsters in her business. Her child handles all the innovation, sites, and PCs for her training. He completes an astonishing activity. Her two little girls handle all the organization, advertising, bookkeeping, planning, and customer care. One case of these is even the workplace director and leads the staff. I have another customer in Long Island, NY who's her girl in her training in organization. Her little girl raising in quality as an energetic indian man lady and furthermore rolls out solid improvements in the business. The dedication and trust factor is the magic that binds these groups despite difficulties that will emerge. The regard a few inoculations have prescribed to their folks as pioneers on the family and pioneers with the business makes this work. 

Not all locally situated exchanges require end up being based on expressions and specialties. Embrace it ! plan weddings, birthday parties, and different social events from your home by going about as the organizer who brings all the working gatherings together. Items and arrangements have companions who make solicitations, other people who configuration dresses, others have their very own providing food business, and other people who are engaged with music for gatherings, at that point everyone can meet up so as to help make your locally established business occur. Most prominent from home does the mean seeing how to profit, however who connect with so you just can upward profiting. 

Going for something you cherish, or something you've contemplated for more often than not in no way, shape or form been substantially less troublesome. The time is ready for so as to start sowing so you may have something to procure in earth. The best online christian degree programs are holding up in which you to discover more on them. When you build up your scholarly abilities for your ethical qualities and thoughts.THAT is a genuine training. 

Author Name:- Shreya Mehta 

Address:- 104 Esplanade ave 120, 

                  Pacifica, CA

Mobile No:- +1 917-668-8461