#like...he's a shady motherfucker when he has to be but given the choice he will always be kind

[cluescorner]

I can no longer normal

This hangout was the perfect mix of cute shit, character moments from those we rarely get to see, elucidating a character’s thoughts on the world around them, and also dropping hints for what is to come. The fact that this hangout was for Kaeya, who is both one of my favorite and one of the most mysterious characters in the game, makes it all the more better. And also THAT ENDING SCREEN WITH KLEE IS GOING UP ON MY WALLS. SORRY BEIDOU YOU GOTTA MOVE THIS IS THE NEW MASTER BEDROOM PORTRAIT. YOUR HOTNESS CANNOT TRIUMPH OVER KLEE BEING THE CUTEST AND KAEYA BEING A GOOD BIG BROTHER AND IT LOOKING LIKE KAEYA AND I ARE RAISING KLEE TOGETHER WE LOOK LIKE HER PARENTS OH MY GOD.

[isa-ghost]

Hi I saw earlier you were asking for more qphil headcanons? How about phil and federation workers? Like Walter bob or ollie or obviously cucurucho?

Oooo this is a good one >:D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

It's on sight for just about every single one of them. Ollie's safe. Most workers? Neutral. The rabbits? A bit shady and strange, but not quite on sight. Everyone else, more or less? Catch these crow hands motherfuckers.

He has no emotional investment in any of them, even the ones that he's not bothered by. They're part of the Federation, Federation bad. End of story

He's still not entirely sure who the fuck Elena is and at this point he's too afraid to ask.

Tbh I think Walter Bob is the only one he actually genuinely liked, even if just only a little bit. Dude seemed like he was going thru it, Phil felt kinda bad for him

Personally he doesn't count the cappys as Federation aligned. Those are just some random chaotic little guys. Just some funky little tricksters. Maybe even weird Quesadeities. He has a headcanon that they just showed up one day and involved themselves in the events that the Feds put on for the islanders and the Feds just kinda accepted it. And had no choice but to do so anyway.

Nothing makes Phil saltier than trying to fuck up Fed buildings out of spite and anarchist displeasure only to be cockblocked by magic or the convenient arrival of a Fed worker to scold him.

He 100% thinks the tiny Purgatory guys like Luffy are infinitely cooler than any of the Quesadilla workers. They're the only good thing Egg Island had to offer.

He may hate the Feds but you bet your fucking ass he's a little gossip whore. If he heard there was drama and whatnot within the Federation he'd be like ☕️☕️☕️ Oh? WB07 and WB28 are getting a divorce? Interestinggggg,,,

He has very complicated feelings about Fred. On one hand, he appreciated that they made Tubbo happy. On the other, they're still a Fed. That was going to be a doomed relationship from the start one way or another. Did they deserve whatever apparent death happened? Hell no. But a Fed is a Fed and no matter how chill they seem, he's of the opinion that every single one of them should indiscriminately be held at arm's length or further away. For personal safety.

Given the last part of the above, he stares at Foolish like What The Fuck. He's convinced if things go tits up ever, Foolish has put himself in the position with the most metaphorical TNT. He's in waaay too deep.

DON'T GET HIM STARTED ON CUCURUCHO. HE HAS SO MANY RANTS. He wants that bitch in the ground SO BAD. What he wouldn't give to knock them down a peg or 7. Shady ass two-faced ass smug ass how do you do fellow kids islanders ass motherfucker!!!

Man he's in for a rude awakening when the islanders figure out the eggs are technically Feds, by the looks of things. How's THAT for no emotional investment, motherfucker. (He's gonna be a wreck :D)

GOD HE HATES AGENT 18. If he could kill any Fed besides Cucurucho, it'd be that motherfucker. Never has a single not condescending thing to say about him or his eggs, FUCK THAT GUY. He'd kick 18's ass in a heartbeat.

He's still wondering who the fuck was experimenting on Luffy. He wants to... talk 🗡 to them too.

I'm not counting Cellbit's Bolas Day 1 confession as canon so the day Phil finds out he slaughtered a bunch of workers is the day Phil throws Cellbit a massive party. Or at least gifts him a huge backpack of cool shit.

[b0rista]

— 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.

WARNINGS: light angst & swearing.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: he's one of my ultimate favorite snk characters, and i needed to cleanse my page of the heavy ass warrior content djjfjf.

"you're either a blessing, or you're a lesson. either or, you and i met for a reason."

with all of the gore and the misfortune that comes with your livelihood, it's connie that gets you through it.

as expected, you first fell in love with him for his humor. not for the humor itself, but for how it shed the smallest flicker of joy upon a heaping tower of despair— as soldiers, you needed that. fortunately, he was the one that brought it to the table. even during your days as cadets, connie lived to make you laugh. hearing a chuckle flutter from your core served as a form of therapy for him, and with time, he grew addicted.

with that being said, he does the stupidest shit in order to get your attention. even when you're together, he'll do what needs to be done. for example, one time, he tried to impress you by doing a trick while saddled up on his horse. in an attempt to twirl like a jackass ballerina, the horse decided that it deserved better, and kicked him clean off its back. at the sight of his 5'2 ass being hoisted eight feet into the air, you nearly choked.

prepare yourself, he's a cuddler. after a particularly hard day's worth of work, connie finds solace in bedding up with you, knowing that you're safe, and with him. he asks that you don't tell anybody, but he actually really enjoys cuddling as the little spoon. to have his head pressed against your chest, his ear to your heartbeat, brings him comfort. of course, he'll never detest to being your big spoon, either. he absolutely loves the feeling of you buried within his touch.

^ if you ever want to go an evening without cuddling, he'll be immediately offended. never, ever, ever will the two of you fall asleep back to back. he simply won't have it, it makes him feel as if something's wrong. and if that is the case, nobody's falling asleep until you've talked about it and successfully sorted it out.

at the beginning of your guys' relationship, everyone worried for you. did he coerce you, y/n? are you being forced? has he threatened you, has he threatened your family? nobody could grasp the fact that connie motherfuckin' springer had managed to pull you.

if there's any sort of sour talk regarding you, no matter how little it is, this man will leap to your defense. one time, jean called your bedhead ugly, and connie propelled a moldy roll of bread into his forehead. in the end, a massive food fight erupted, and you were just standing there with your bedhead like 🧍‍♀️

HOWEVER, there was an instance that actually led to a genuine, real fight between you two as a couple. you'd managed to scuff up your leg during the battle with kenny the ripper and his associates, and when it came down to who was and who wasn't going to tag along for the eren & historia rescue mission, connie belittled you to the team behind your back. not because he actually felt that way, but because he'd do anything to maintain your safety— even if it meant hurting your feelings. telling captain levi that your abilities were inadequate for that particular mission hurt him, but he did what he felt was necessary.

in the end, though, levi saw through the charade. to connie's dismay, you came with to save eren and historia. and during the entire journey, you didn't even utter a word to him. of course, though, during the battle, you put your frustrations aside. once you saw your lover's head nearly get kicked in during combat, you understood his intentions, and you forgave him. as expected, he replied to your forgiveness with humor,, his go-to coping mechanism.

"considering how sexy i looked on the battlefield, i knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

whenever his hair starts to grow out, you're the one that gets to cut it back down! he's able to do it himself, but he really likes it when you do it. you're typically propped up in his lap, sitting face to face as you file down his edges. he always loops his arms around your waist, intently staring you in the face— seeing you so concentrated on his hair, he can't help it.

you wouldn't expect this from connie whatsoever, but he likes it when you read to him. pick a literature of your choice and let him kick back and rest his head onto your lap, pleasE. he'll close his eyes, and for the first time in forever, stay still. the only time he and books ever coexist is when you're reading one to him. he'll also make fun of you whenever you stumble over a sentence,, so get ready.

the day you realize that this motherfucker is nearing six feet tall, you're ready for the holy spirit to whisk you away. literally, you measure his height on the weekly once you realize he just keeps gaining inches. that, and when he starts growing more into his face? lawd, take you now.

"connie, you're getting seXY-"

"what the hell does thaT mE A N-"

many, many proposals. none are meant to be taken seriously, which the both of you know. still, there are far too many proposals between the two of you. one time, you killed a fly midair, and he thought you were the baddest bitch on the block.

"marry me."

another time, he swooped you into the air with his maneuvering gear, and as you held onto him for dear life, you looked him dead in the face: "marry me, you baldheaded bastard."

it can be a reel, how many times the two of you say that bullshit. somehow, it's cute.

he doesn't really take basic boundaries into consideration. like, one time, you caught him using your toothbrush because he couldn't find his. it wasn't fun, you had to give him a serious talking to.

he is, without a doubt, constantly prepared to lay down his life for you on the battlefield. during his time as a soldier, he's grown significantly strong— and once he fell in love with you, he's felt even stronger. not only do you give him drive, but you lend him strength. with that being said, you're somebody he'd die for without even an ounce of hesitation. and knowing him, he's probably made that more than obvious.

when connie's village was destroyed and it was discovered that his entire family was turned into titans, you were one of the only ones to actually comfort him. you were absolutely enraged at how nonchalantly your lover's loss was set aside, and although he'd tried his hardest to conquer the grief alone, it was you who sat at his bedside at night, cradling him in your arms as he wept. never in your life had you seen him so distraught. after that period of time, your relationship with him only deepened in its seriousness. 

as expected, you and sasha spend quite a bit of time together! after all, that's your boyfriend's best friend. given her easygoing nature, it didn't take long for sasha to absolutely adore you. naturally, she wonders how the hell you manage to operate with a boyfriend like that, but she tries not to ask questions.

speaking of the wonder twins, they love getting you in trouble. whenever the two of them think up an astonishingly moronic shenanigan, there's a solid 50/50 chance that you'll be looped into it, too. one time, they purposefully dulled jean's razor, and when he went to shave, it only ended in him splitting his face open due to placing too much pressure. as a joke, those two jackasses carved your initials into the handle. when jean decided that he'd murder you, connie tried playing the hero, lEapiNg to your defense. it was stupid, and it didn't work. you still laugh about it, though.

there have been several jokes regarding starting a family and growing old together— secretly, though, connie doesn't want them to just be jokes.

he stole a stray cat for you. yup, yes he did. the two of you were walking about the city, and you saw a gray-haired sleeping beside a trash bin behind a local vendor. you compared its fur to the color of his hair, calling it cute. out of impulse, connie went back to that exact same vendor later on that day, trapped the cat in a box, and brought it to your doorstep.

his forearms and fingertips were covered in claw marks, but to see your face light up the way that it did, any amount of pain was immediately worth it.

after the nickname that shadis had given connie on the first day of cadet training, you named the kitty q-ball. 🥺

during the season four era, the two of you share a house. at first, captain levi argued against it— "put a pair of horny teenagers in a home together, what do you think is gonna happen?"

y'all said fuck it, and lived together anyways. it's you, him, and your lovely child, q-ball. occasionally jean, too. some nights, he doesn't want to be alone.

eskimo kisses. during the prepping of every single mission, you'll get eskimo kisses. it's a small, loving gesture the two of you do before heading into the battlefield. as a sign of your love, you'll press your foreheads together and rub noses, weapons holstered and ready for combat. it's a serious tradition, and it'll never be ignored.

and after a mission, connie has this habit of pinching your cheeks immediately after rushing towards you. it isn't to be cute, either. it's so that he can scan you, and check you for any harm. basically, it's him squeezing the life out of your face while bombarding you with questions.

expect supremely cheesy pet names! bae, biscuit, buttercup, baby thing, sexy bitch, and so on. if it were anyone else, he would 100% make fun of them. but it's him, therefore adorable.

[angrylizardjacket]

it's in the blood // this is tradition

Summary: Children inherit all sorts of traits from their parents. Not all these traits are good.

"My reputation preceded me before I was born."

[ charlotte & lola au ]

A/N: 2292 words. Halsey's new album killed me on the spot. i talk a lot about the next gen being mirrors of their parents, but i'd like to go into detail about that not necessarily being a positive. @misscharlottelee this made me feel things. i love these kids.

Warnings: overdose mention, addiction discussion, mentions of drug abuse.

Penelope Dingley-Lee

Tommy can count the amount of times he'd seen Razzle truly angry on one hand, and here and now he can see it again, written all over his neice's face. He'd thought she would look like Charlie when she's angry, and occasionally she does, the way her lip curls derisively, dismissively, that's very reminiscent of his cousin, but here and now, her blue eyes are hazy, cloudy, and her lips twist with an irate arrogance that is worryingly familiar.

Angry and high and wearing clothes that don't quite match, in this moment she's exactly her father's daughter.

She's been in the papers again. Her tits have been in magazines again. Tommy bites down on his instinctual desire to repremand her; she'd call him a hypocrite, call him an old man, tell him to keep his opinions to himself while she could still buy his sex tape out of a shady car boot down the street.

Charlie was like that too, on occasion, wit too quick for him to keep up with. When she got into a mood like this, Tommy didn't have to worry so much; usually Razzle would egg her on, but knew when to pull her back.

"It's my god given, motherfucking right to go feral -" he'd heard Charlie back in the eighties holler at three in the morning, high on amphetamines and waving a gossip rag above her head. Razzle would be on the sofa, equally fucked up, but gazing at her like she hung the stars in the sky.

"Lola gets photographed at least once a month stark naked along the strip like it's a sport, why is my Playboy shoot a national crisis?! My tits are fantastic!"

"They are, my love," Razzle nods seriously, and Tommy pulls his pillow from beneath his head, trying to either block out their voices through the thin walls, or maybe smother himself. The girl beside him, the groupie whose name he doesn't know, asks blearily why there's so much yelling. Tommy doesn't answer.

A week later, Tommy is the one to bail out Charlie and Razzle for public indecency, and they're both beaming from ear to ear.

Here in the present, Penny is draped out on the sofa, laughing low and pleased as she watches TV.

"TMZ blurred out my tits," she snorts, "cowards."

"Penny..." he can't help the faintly disappointed notes in his voice when he says her name.

"Thomas, I've read The Dirt," Penny fires back venemously. Hypocrite he hears in her tone, you have no power over me.

There's something hollow in her eyes in the photos he sees of her in the papers. She wears her father's inflluence and her heart on her crushed velvet sleeve, on the arm of a shallow, pretty, band boy who plays badly and loudly. But she laughs louder, though tthe sound is low and unconvincing if anyone bothered to listen hard enough, and Tommy wonders if he has enough dark hair dye left for when that boy breaks her heart.

Jupiter Lee

Tommy is proud to watch Jupiter on stage, but he is afraid.

Their anger is something he remembers from Lola, the way they cling to the past with vitriol echoes their mother, but on stage, they drink up the attention, get high off the love the audience gives, and he sees himself in those moments.

A child of addicts, Jupiter had drawn lines in the sand for themselves that they refused to cross; no alcohol, no drugs, and they'd stayed loyal to that. But highs come in all forms; they simply picked a different kind of poison without realising.

On stage, halfway between the gutter and a god complex, Tommy knows the smile they wear all too well.

Rebellion from Jupiter didn't shock the world like it did when it was Penny's name in the papers. Jupiter's trajectory was spot on in the eyes of the public, but rebellion wouldn't be the thing that broke them.

Once, so long ago that it's a miracle the memory survived, Tommy remembers asking Lola what she would be doing if she wasn't with the band. Lola gave him an easy, bleary smile, laughing sweetly when she told him that one way or another, she'd be here. In the moment it overwhelms him with love. In hindsight it breaks his heart.

"Come on, I think this is inevitable," Jupiter smiles on television as an interviewer asks them the same question; if they weren't making music what they'd be doing, "as if I'd do anything other than this."

'Don't you know where I come from?' is left unspoken, but Tommy still hears it.

He tries to picture himself in a life without the world at his feet the way he has now. No image comes to mind. Nothing else makes sense. Even if he wanted to do something else, wanted to grow up to be something else, he couldn't even begin to picture it for himself, tragedy and all.

They play their parts. They let history repeat itself. Jupiter makes mistakes Tommy and Lola had already learned from. Penny plays Jupiter's conciousness until the role grates on her nerves, diving head first into chaos, taking Jupiter with her with little convincing.

Tommy remembers this too.

When the world looks at Penny and Jupiter, they like to remember how Lola was seen as a bad influence on Charlotte, but forget that Tommy would have followed Charlotte in to Hell without hesitation.

Leo "Seo" Sixx

Lola has google alerts set up for her son, Seo, because he disappears for months without warning. Tommy asks how he is, and Lola looks to her phone with a tight smile, telling him that he's competeing in a skateboarding competition in Prague. She learned that from Twitter.

Seo comes and goes without warning, and talks to his siblings more than his parents. He loves them, but he hasn't allowed himself to stop for years. He doesn't know how. Then again, neither did Lola or Nikki.

"Jupiter thinks a lot about legacy, don't they?" He's in Tommy's kitchen, eating a poptart, when Tommy returns home one friday evening. He's waiting for Penny and Jupiter to finish getting ready, the three of them going out.

"Do your parents know you're in town?" Tommy asks with faint amusement, though there's a twinge of guilt in his gut when Leo considers that he should probably let them know. Says he forgot. Tommy's not sure if he believes him; like his parents before him, he tends to leave a lot unsaid. It's part of his charm, the world seems to think, but Tommy knows all to well how deliberate of an act it can be.

"Jup's got all this stuff in their head about legacy and who they should be," he continues his earlier thought, "which I guess makes sense, they tie a lot of themselves up in their identity," he shrugs, then, "I don't know Leo."

Tommy's not sure if he's talking about the grandfather he's named after, or himself.

"You've given this a lot of thought," Tommy says quietly, humouring him.

"I think a lot," Seo responds, "I've been thinking about going back on my meds, its weird being off of them." Of course this concerns Tommy, who knows objectively that Seo isn't his kid, but he's close enough that Tommy feels like he's allowed to be concerned. "I'm worried a doctor's note isn't going to be enough to let me compete at the Olympics on speed," falls too casually from Seo's lips, alarming Tommy in an instant. Though it must clearly show on his face, as Seo breaks out into an apologetic grin, "dextroamphetamine, for my ADHD. I've been trying to wean off it for the Olympics, it's been hard -" but his next words, said so blithe, so casual, have Tommy's heart stopping in his chest as he's thrown back thirty years, "I've been on them since I was like eleven years old; it was great, I could think, like the right amount, but now I... I think everything. I feel everything. Its a lot." He shrugs, like he didn't just become an echo of his father.

Seo's parents both died twice from overdoses, and now their son feels like he can't function without amphetamines.

Objectively Tommy knows that they work for Seo, that he's not abusing them he simply uses them to help him function, but the irony is not lost on him. It's a lot to unpack. He doesn't think to ask about the Olympics; it slips his mind until he sees Seo and a silver medal on his Twitter feed.

Lola calls Tommy in tears. She's proud, but she wishes she'd known, wishes she'd been able to watch it live, or go over and support him in person.

No-one in Seo's life seems to fully know or understand his intentions or actions, no-one can predict his next move. He puts up a bright facade, but like his parents before him, he does not trust the world to know him.

They don't know where he goes in the few months after the Olympics, all they know is that he doesn't come home.

Cerie "CerieThree" Sixx

Since she'd turned sixteen, Tommy has never seen Cerie Sixx without a smile. That is a very deliberate choice that she's made.

She's made a choice to rise above the percieved grime of her origins. She's halfway across the country, smiling for a camera she can control, editing her image before she lets it out into the world. Cerie Three - even the name the world knows reflects this; she's picked apart the context she was born into, disecting it, deciding which was useful to show the world, disposing of the rest.

She speaks warmly to her family, from what Tommy can gather, but the people on the peripheries of their life seem more like associates in the coldest sense of the world. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes half the time when she sees Tommy, and she shakes his hand when her brothers will hug him. The internet is closer to her than he is.

Cerie looks the most like her mother of all her siblings; she's 21, the exact same age Lola was when she met Tommy, but half the time he can barely see the resemblence. Lola had let the world see a villain at that age; Cerie had learned from that, had rejected that, rejected the cold, hard humanity of her mother's fronting. Cerie wanted to be perfect. Cerie had to be perfect, hyper aware of her own image, like her siblings seem to be, but the way she'd so effectively shaped her public identity was kind of terrifying.

Perhaps this was what it was like for people who didn't know Lola, only allowed to know the image she put out into the world, or people who only knew Nikki for his stage presence.

But the more Tommy thinks about it, the more he remembers just how effectively Lola had wrapped the band around her little finger when she set her mind to it, how she talked her way around exectives despite being dressed like she'd woken up in the gutter and fucked up on any number of drugs. Lola understood people, and it seemed Cerie did too.

Cerie Sixx, twenty one, doesn't stop creating content, doesn't stop studying, and doesn't stop smiling. Two of those three things are inhereted traits, inhereted determination, and the third is a choice.

Cyrus Sixx

Though Cyrus had inhereted much of his parent's musical talent, the same way Jupiter had, Cyrus had also inhereted a love of the high life. Even so, he's so full of love, kissing his mother on both cheeks before he goes out to get shitfaced in the bars she was decades before he was even born.

He works hard, at his job, on his music, but his partying matches it just as well. He knows exactly how far he has to fall before he meets the depths his parents' had sunk to, and though he doesn't voice this, his arrogance comes across in his actions.

There'd always be someone to pull him away from swan diving to rock bottom. He takes that for granted, and keeps getting closer and closer.

The only one of Nikki and Lola's children who still lives at home, he's the only one like them in the way they'd feared.

"He's going to have more success than he will ever be able to comprehend," Nikki had told Tommy, the day after Cyrus had been admitted to hospital after staying up for four days while high and obsessing over a song he had been working on. Nikki had found him having a fit after having fallen from his desk chair. Now, sitting on Tommy's patio in the sunset, he looks tired, he looks afraid, "if he doesn't end up killing himself first."

A month ago, the fire department and the police had to pull him, kicking and screaming and bareass naked from a tree in the middle of town. His parents had bailed him out, had felt a familiar sting of guilt as they find themselves reminded of their own youthful exploits. They repremand him, of course, but they both know the only reason they stopped climbing trees was because there had been no-one to pick them up after.

Nikki sees himself in his sons mistakes, but he'd had to learn concequences the hard way.

Tommy loves his family and all it's strange branches, as well as their raucous youth, but his closest friends were some of the most volatile people he'd known, and somehow he'd forgotten that as time as taken people and memories from him.

But these children were made in their image.

[bitch-of-the-wilds]

Dragon Age 2: Abridged

You start the game and as you're running 🏃‍♂️💨 away from the Zombi- I mean Darkspawn, the very first thing that happens is one of your 2 younger siblings fucking dies. ⚰️💀🥀(RIP Carver)

Then there's a dragon 🐉 which is awesome! But also: fuck, there's a dragon and you're level 1. But wait, now the dragon's an old lady who you swear sounds familiar. 🧙‍♀️ But she won't teach you how to become a dragon, so who cares.

Anyway, your mother cradles your sibling's cooling corpse to her chest and blames you for their death because you're the oldest and (somehow⁉️) you were supposed to protect them from the massive 5-ton ogre and stop it from crushing their rib cage like a gerbil in the hands of a vindictive toddler. 🐹

It's mentioned in passing that "At least they're with father now," and oh, yeah, guess your dad is dead too.

Surprise! Welcome to Dragon Age: 2 -The game where the plot is made up and your feelings don't matter. 🎆🎇

After you finally escape the fuckin 🍭🔥Candy Land from Hell🔥🍭: you're sold into servitude (see also: slavery) to pay your way into the city because your drunkard of an uncle has gambled away every penny of wealth your family ever had, including the house (and the dog too, but don't worry, there's DLC for that 🐕)

Then, after a year of smuggling and/or shady mercenary work for the dickheads that hold your leash, you're still broker than a ramen-filled Millenial with an undergrad degree in psychology, so you have to go into the Deep Roads to find your fortune.

Do you take your only remaining sibling with you into one of the most dangerous places in Thedas? Or do you leave them in Kirkwall, an almost equally as dangerous place, without even little ole' you there to protect them or your aged, decrepit, spiteful mother (who still kinda hates you for letting your sibling die)?

📱VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES! 📱

The kicker is that NO MATTER WHICH CHOICE YOU MAKE, you still lose your sibling! They're taken by the Chantry, (the ⭕Circle/⛑️Templars) if you leave them at home, and if you take them with you, they fucking DIE.

Oh, UNLESS you brought that one edgy, possessed, fugitive Gray Warden you met in the ass end of Darktown with you. Then they don't die. Instead, they themselves are given to the Gray Wardens to try and save them from 🤎😩The Taint 😩🤎 who then disappear back into the Deep Roads for 3 fucking years. IN FACT you don't even know if your fucking sibling LIVES or DIES until Shit City winds up on fucking 🔥FIRE🔥 and they just happen to run into you while you're up to your tits in body organs.

And also that one edgy Gray Warden rebel, Anders -who you actually kinda like, even if he is a whiney bitch, happens to stay on with you because you helped him kill his ex boyfriend (*Micky Mouse voice* it's a special tool that will help us later!🎁)

Oh, and let's not forget that Grand Adventure where your ancient ass mom 🤶 is kidnapped by a Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs serial murderer and then canabalized into a semi-living sex doll 🧟‍♀️(that smells a bit like formaldehyde under the stench of rotting old lady flesh) just because she happens to look a little bit like the dude's dead FWB/wife. 👩‍❤️‍👨

So, when you finally fucking find her -buried under a cesspool of blood, shit and demons (where else?)- you obviously have to kill the dork-ass, serial-killing, LITERAL MOTHERFUCKER who took her.

But OOPS! His blood magic🩸 was the only thing keeping her build-a-bitch body alive, so naturally it disperses as he death-rattles on the floor.🤮

She only lives long enough to say her last regret is leaving you alone in 🗡️ Murder City™️ 🗡️ by yourself before she fucking DIES IN YOUR ARMS in front of your sad ass friends and probably your love interest.

Speaking of which, I hope you didn't dick-down the pirate 🏴‍☠️ then fuck around and find out you caught feelings and shit, cause she straight up leaves your ass to skip town on bail with a Super Special Book. 📖

And god forbid you romanced Fenris because his broody ass just ups and leaves you after a mediocre as fuck one night stand, leaving you with Lyium-blue balls. 🧪 Oh, did I mention that it took 3 fuckin YEARS of courting to get him to into bed? 🛌 But at least he stays with you, helping kill bitches and whatnot, casually twisting that little knife in your heart an inch at a time because he has enough emotional baggage 🎒👜🧳🛍️ to sink a fucking naval armada to the bottom of the Boeric ocean. 🆘⛵🛥️🛳️⛵🚢🛥️🆘

But the fun doesn't stop there! No, no! Because while you may have lost your entire family -i.e. your mother, father and both baby siblings- and potentially your love interest 💔 (You can keep your shitty drunken uncle tho lmfao), that doesn't matter cause we're not done with our field trip through hell just yet kiddies. 🚎 Beep beep, bitch.

So, what's next on 💥Apocalypse Bingo?💥 Oh, that's right, you gotta stop the invading force of massive roid-raging dragon-people with kick ass horns, and their leader just decapitated the king👑 in front of you.

Also they burned 🗑️Trash Town🗑️ to the ground and you have to pick of the pieces of your shitty city. Again.

And after you've done that, after you've done what all the king's horses 🐎🐎🐎 and all the king's men🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ couldn't fucking do, you're awarded the title of Champion because no good deed goes unpunished!

Yay! You're the savior of Shit City! Hooray. 💩

✨🌟⭐ But wait! There's more! ⭐🌟✨

That one Glowy Red bitch you've seen around the Gallows when you're not ogling Cullen's noodle hair is pissy at Skeletor the Secret Blood Mage. Time to play peace keeper.

It doesn't go well. They're both still assholes. 🤷🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️

Oh but, remember Anders? The edgy Gray Warden dude? The one who hears voices in his head, but swears it's just his 👻☄️Spirit Friend☄️👻 The one who you kinda like?

He needs to go grocery shopping. For... cookie ingredients. 🍪

Here's the list: 📜

-Mushrooms 🍄

-Literal, actual shit 💩

-Sulfur 💨

-Amonium Nitrate 🔥

-Other shit, this time metaphorical🚫💩

Okay, weird request, right? But he did help you kill some hoes and give you the map to the Deep Roads which may or may not have gotten your sibling killed, so you owe him one, right? And, well, maybe you kinda like this edgy weirdo who occasionally turns blue when he's mad 👺, so you're willing to do him a solid.

Well, turns out that trip to Kirkwalmart wasn't for ingredients to Anders' fav cookies.

It was actually

⚡💥💣☢️A FUCKIN NUKE☢️💣💥⚡

which he uses to blown up the church ⛪ which happens to be in the city 🌇 your pathetic ass spent 6 years Humpty Dumpty-ing🍳 killing a few hundred innocent people and probably at least one or two dogs🐶💀🐶 so either way he's a fuckin dildo.

Oh, and that kicks off World War Thedas, and the FBI 🚔 thinks you're responsible, so you have to leave your Shit City and lay low.

But you got to meet Varric so it was worth it. 👍

Probably.

[snkpolls]

Snk Chapter 129 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1387 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by /u/staraves, Crunchwrap, @momtaku, _Puppet_, @shifter-lines and Luna

Thank you to everyone for your support!

RATE THE CHAPTER

Satisfaction was up this month with 41% rating this chapter a 5. That’s a 10% increase over last month! Overall 84% rated chapter 129 as good (4) or great (5).

A really great chapter. The jeagerist are getting sliced because they are scared for their family while the alliance know that they need to prevent mass genocide. There are no villain in this (apart from Floch) just victims.

After the sluggish post-rumbling chapters, I'm glad we're picking up the pace and getting things done now!

Loved the character interactions, had good plot advancement and some beautiful panels! Best chapter this year 😁😁

So fucking good. Highlighted that violence isn’t unique to the warriors, and that the 104th squad have a capability for violence within them as well.

The chapter was definitely not worth the long ass wait

A really good action chapter! Lots of intense moments that were also complimented quite well with poetic moments that felt great payoffs for many of the characters

The chapters have been so forgettable lately and this was no different. I wanted better for Shadis and this suicide pact was not it.

So many critical character bonding moments! I love it!

The best chapter since 123, I expect something big will happen in Chapter 130 because it is the last of the volume.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

It was no surprise to us that more than 40% of the fandom selected one of the Keith Shadis options as their favorite moment with “The Rise and Fall of the S.S Shadath” (22.6%) and “SHADIS THE CHADIS” (20.5%) nabbing the top two spots. The kiddos managed 3rd and 4th place with “Falco’s transformation” (12.2%) and “Gabi sniping Floch” (10.5%).

Seeing Shadis and Magath sacrificing for a greater good was the best part of this chapter.

Loved the floch speeches

It was nice to see the Yeagerists finally get decimated.

I always wanted to see interaction between Shadis and Magath. Late is better than never.

Action packed !

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP?

Give it up for Shadis the Motherfucking Chadis! Keith Shadis was our overwhelming choice for chapter MVP with an even 50% the fandom selecting him. Magath (20.5%), Floch (7.2%) Falco (6.7%) and Gabi (6%) followed at a huge distance.

SHADIS THE MOTHERFUCKING CHADIS

MAGATH THE MOTHERFUCKING CHADATH

Why can't I vote for Magath *AND* Shadis for MPVs of the chapter??? It is cruel that you make me choose.

Shadis and Magath, the true MVPs of this chapter. (Gabi still sucks)

Gabi MVP for giving Flock another win to the prize: "Big Oof of the month"

Floch was the true MVP this chapter and I'm sure he's still alive.

Magath and Shadis MVP

  PRESS F FOR KEITH SHADIS. WHICH OF HIS FINAL MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE?

To the write-in below, I hear you. The pollsters  (*glares of staraves*)  were cruel this month in forcing this choice and deleting the “All of the Above” option. But when forced to choose, it was the mutual appreciation between the two men in their final moments that was our very favorite.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I ONLY PICK ONE ANSWER+???

holy shit what a chad

his suicide is overrated.

I was so touched that he watched his students and knew what he needed to do to help them.

A TRUE CHAD TO THE END, BUT WHY DID HE SACRIFICE HIMSELF?? WHY DID THEY HAVE BOMB THE SHIP W THEMSELVES IN IT???

  ANY ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ON SHADIS’ OVERALL LEGACY IN THE STORY? POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF!

Shadis' end is amazing. He came from "i'm not special" to "one of the heroes who saved the world". It's great development, confirming the rhetoric "everyone is special".

CHADIS!!! RIP

Definitely one of the most underrated character, though I'm happy seeing him getting a lot recognition on the sub. His dialogue with Carla about Eren needing to be special or not has to be one of my favorite part of SNK.

Dislike him. He sees how his recruits were forced to become Jaegerists yet slices and blows them up as if it was nothing.

He always thought of himself as a bystander but in reality he shaped and trained all the 104th kids. If they manage to save the world, it will be hugely thanks to his training.

Keith Shadis is a prime example of Isayama's dedicated effort to give meaningful characterisation to every character and tie it into the story's core themes.

He was a bittersweet hero. Definitely not just a bystander.

He was a fucking legend

I loved it. Every part of it. The fact that he always considered himself to be a bystander only to die a hero in the end was such a good arc, and believable. I'm gonna miss the Chadis. F.

I relate (not to the heroic suicide part, just the bystander stuff)

I respect him

I still can't really get why he did this tbh

He was far from perfect, which made him one of the most relatable characters in the series - so sad to see him go 😓😓

He was my favorite minor character

He was truly worthy of being called a hero at the end along with Magath. They died so their kids could live and save the world!

Him wearing his scout uniform once more going on a death mission was a touching detail

his death was absolutely beautiful, he was sure enough of himself to not need "being a hero" as his motivation and his final act of sacrifice made such a difference after all. Beautiful character arc here, I wasn't very bummed out when I first read the chapter but the more I think about it the more I grieve for him.

Honestly the train thing felt like a bit of an ass pull. I know a lot of people like having old characters back but he mostly just felt like a plot device.

I didn't like his latest development.

A bystander who became a traitor

I just didn't like the fact that he was paralleled with Magath. The only thing those two have in common is the fact that they are instructors, and Isayama milked that. Sure Shadis wasn't an angel, but at the very least he wasn't a fascist that was responsible for the Genocide that kick started this story.

I feel bad to Hange and the others didn't know that he was the one who blowing up the train to help them and the fact that he was with Magath.

I grew to like and appreciate Shadis, so this weird train explosion story and immediate suicide pact with Magath felt incredibly underwhelming, to say the least. So, he lived as a bystander and died as one thanks to no one else besides Magath knowing he was there? Cool stuff.

i guess i didnt expect such a death after he let himself get beat up for the sake of others, gonna miss him and maggath, i guess this simbolizes that the warriors and "stop" eren group is officially in charge

I hate how Shadis told the kids to join the Jaegerists for their own sake but then he turns on them.

I was ready for a long time to lose him, but it hurts nonetheless. Keith has always been the one who had a clear mind about his dream, his cause... Much more than Grisha or Eren, even when thinking that he had lost. He was a great icon in the series and he deserved his students' appreciation.

I hate that Isayama is just killing off the old guard like this 😞. Shadis genuinely cared about his students and he will be missed.

I hope he and Sasha share a potato in Heaven.

  NOW IT’S THEO MAGATH’S TURN. WHICH MOMENT GAVE YOU THE MOST DOKIS?

Awwwww… Magath’s wish for the warrior kids to have a happy life was the moment that most touched our hearts with just over 50% of the fandom selecting it. His decision to stay behind (18.4%) and the mutual appreciation between him and Shadis (16.4%) round out the top three selections.

I didn’t think he was going to die... it made me sad.

I thought his character would have more to do given his role as the military commander and political "moderate". Also, should have got shot so Shadis had a pressing reason to stay back and defend him while Magath set off the explosion.

RIP Shadis. Magath, you deserved what you got, you nazi bastard

GOVE ,E MMILTIBLR OPYIONS!21!!!!!

ОТЕЦ РОДНОЙ, НА КОГО ТЫ НАС ОСТАВИЛ?!!

  ANY ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ON MAGATH’S OVERALL LEGACY IN THE STORY? POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF!

I found his character to be very compelling. He has already shown many instances of caring for the Warriors and the cadets during the Liberio Attack, but to see him gradually becoming conscious of that and completely changing his mindset was incredibly satisfying. A character I greatly enjoyed to see overall!

First I didn't like him that much. But this chapter make me like him more and more and then, he died. Thanks for making me suffer isym.

Followed the orders of his country, but couldn't bear the shame of his actions. Committed sudoku as a result. Deserves some respect as a true warrior and a patriot.

He really grew on me despite being such an unlikable character not too long ago, and it's sad to see him go. I'm glad to see the development he got recently.

He really grew on me without ever noticing it. I was actually sad about his death, and left with many questions.

He says he never wanted to do what he did but he had to follow the orders. This doesn't take away his responsibility at all, and it's not even completely true: he actively planned with Willy the latest invasion of Paradis.

He was a good man glad he went out with the Chad

He was a good man in the end: he realised he was in the wrong, swallowed his Marleyan pride and showed a sincere and humble side of him to the alliance. Then he tried to compensate for his previous wrong deeds by sacrificing his life and making himself useful to his allies one last time. I can really appreciate and respect that. And if you look at that panel of Gabi and Pieck looking like the most hurt at that exploded ship, then I think that means they too must've known that he was one of the better Marleyans.

He was a good man placed in a pretty awful situation. He and the kids would have been very happy in another world.

Him and hange are a great ship

He was alright

Dood's journey from literal Nazi racist to self-sacrifcing father of two was actually pretty heartwarming?

He was an imperfect commander in an imperfect world, but he still showed that he was just as human as his warriors.

he was annoying and cool.

I didn't care for him initially, and in ONE FUCKING CHAPTER, becomes a hero. Goddamn, fam.

It was awesome to see how far he came in such a short time and made it, at least for me, from a despicable character to a decent one with a human heart. Loved it how he protected his Warrior kids, how he went and helped Falco and his final wish kind of felt for me as if he was finally, in the last moments of his life, honest with himself and what he actually wanted and wishes for.

I  just really wish he had the time to say something of his wishes to the warriors.

I agree with the point that his mutual appreciation with Shadis is very important and beautiful sign of new era in eldian and marlian common history

I always wanted to see interaction between Shadis and Magath. Late is better than never.

I came to love and appreciate his character more than I ever thought.

I can't bring myself to hate him anymore. F for our MAGOAT

I did not like Magath and now I feel guilty about it because of the immediate rapport he had with Shadis.

Imagine thinking Magath is suddenly a good person because he sacrificed himself.

Isayama always tries to humanize his characters. I don't like Magath. He's a guy who stayed in the same path of sacrificing children while insulting them for their filthy blood for years despite questioning it (also the path of genocide). That's his legacy. It took him the apocalypse to actually reconsider. But I like how he died for the kids he cared for, I was hoping for exactly that. It makes "caring" substantial, at least/last.

killed hundreds of thousands of people

Looks like my old step-father, so I wasn't sad to see him go boom boom. lol

Madlad Magath

Magath has been an underrated character and gets too much hate

Magath hugging Gabi is peak Magath.

Great to see how the one person arguably most responsible for early problems in the series such as the wall breaches, was even able to admit his wrongs, atone, and do the right thing along with those he once attacked.

Him realising his errors and apologising was an outstanding character development moment. In the end, he did what he had to. Respects.

His acquired understanding of the Eldian's dilemma felt a little rushed, but nothing too bothersome. I wasn't a fan of him at first and he's still not my favorite, but his meeting with Shadis was still pretty cool to see.

Would have liked to know his backstory.

What are you doing Yeager???

  THE ALLIANCE’S JOURNEY IS NOW TAKING A DETOUR AS THEY DECIDE TO TRAVEL BY BOAT TO ODIHA WHERE THEY CAN PREPARE THE PLANE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?

Close to 70% of the fandom trusts that this detour to Odiha will be something worthwhile with 33.9% excited to see more of the SnK world and 34.3% thinking there is going to be plot significance. Only 12.5% of us were unhappy with this development.

The boat trip was unexpected. Maybe they'll talk about who they've lost and risk losing (in Liberio), as well as what they're fighting for (is it the world or their families?).

I’m having trouble figuring how fast this Rumbling will be. Will they really have enough time to sail to another country/continent, then fly all the way to another country/continent and still be able to save most of the world?

I don’t like the idea of going to Odihu. I want to hit the main points (Eren’s POV, scars wrapping, Historia’s POV) & be done.

Only few chapters left but the Alliance faces more and more delays?

I want Gabi to headshot DinoEren from Odiha

  WHAT WILL BE THE STATE OF LIBERIO BY THE TIME THE ALLIANCE GETS TO IT?

We were reminded again this chapter of the speed at which the titans are travelling and how quickly they could decimate the continent of Marley.  When and if the Alliance reach the mainland, more than half of respondents (56.7%) believe Liberio will be in the midst of being destroyed, nearly a third of the fandom (31%) think Liberio will be completely destroyed by the time the Alliance arrives. A tiny (tiny!) group of fandom optimists (7.8%) believe Liberio will be fine.

PANCAKED!

It depends on what Erens plan actually is... I'm holding out hope he's not actually trying to annihilate the world 🤞

It LOOKS like it's completely destroyed, but there are still survivors!

It will be mostly destroyed, but some Eldians will have risen up and escaped

The colossal titans will have trampled everything BUT Liberio. Eren wants to get the mainland Eldians on his side.

We'll see the people from Liberio arriving to Odiha. We saw the rebellion starting there, and I have the feeling they'll be fleeing south.

Eren will do some cool shit but hopefully no genocide I would hate that ending

i dont think rumbling will happen. from a story telling pov it just doesnt make sense

They'll be fine for the sole reason I just can't see Annie's Dad dying before their reunion.

About to be trampled

I find it curious how we don't even get to see a glimpse of the Rumbling happening. Isayama is usually so good at "show, don't tell", yet the last 2 chapters have just been Hange estimating the progress of the Rumbling. I wonder if Isayama has a plan for that?

The alliance won’t arrive Liberio because by the time they arrived Odiha, the Colossal Titans will have already destroyed northern part of Marley and approaching Odiha, the place where the Alliance and Eren will fight.

I'm really not sure. On one hand I can trust Hanji's geographical expertise, on the other hand, where can the final battle take place, other from a symbolic place?

  ANNIE WORRIES THE CURRENT PLAN WON’T ALLOW HER TO REACH HER FATHER IN TIME. HOW WILL SHE REACT WHEN SHE LEARNS LIBERIO IS LIKELY DOOMED?

If Annie has to choose between the alliance and her father, the majority believe she’ll choose her dad. When asked how she’ll react if she learns Liberio is doomed, 51.4% believe at some point Annie will abandon the alliance to search for her father, 20.7% believe she will continue to help the alliance and 9.2% feel that her frustrations will boil over and she’ll take out her frustrations on the people she is travelling with.

god at least let Annie reunite with her dad

I’m hoping that Papa Leonhart lasts long enough to see Annie, and that’s all.

  ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FIVE, HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY SEEING ANNIE TEAM UP WITH REINER, INSTEAD OF BEATING THE GOBSHITE OUT OF HIM?

After years of Reiner suffering abuse at Annie’s hand, she’s finally willing to let the Paradisians take care of the daily whack-a-Reiner session. And the overwhelming majority of you seem to appreciate this character development.

  WHAT WAS THE BEST ANNIE AND REINER BATTLE MOMENT?

The teamup of the Armored Titan and the Female Titan was a highlight of this chapter, leading to many great moments, with Reiner protecting Annie as the voted favorite (44.1%). Coming in second was both of them being saved by Connie (26.1%), and the two Titans protecting the Azumabito snagged third place (11.1%).

Loved how Reiner protected Annie.

love how connie looks cool

i legit was afraid that the asian lady was gonna die while reiner and annie protected them, that was well drawn/written

  IF PARALLELS BETWEEN FLOCH AND ERWIN EXIST, WHAT IS THE MESSAGE THEY ARE TRYING TO CONVEY?

Many in the fandom have pointed out potential similarities between the characters of Floch and Erwin, but whether they are valid similarities and what exactly is the textual purpose of them is hotly debated. The majority of respondents believe that one way or another, the parallels cast doubt on any similarities between the two, with almost half (44.6%) pointing to Floch’s bastardisation of Erwin and 23.7% believing that he is trying to imitate the former commander, but that there is no message behind it. A quarter of respondents (25%) believe that the parallels are indeed drawing similarities between the two characters, and 6.7% of you aren’t too convinced the parallels even exist.

Erwin seriously impacted floch but thats about it I dont think he is conciously stealing he is just using the words that made him march to hell and back.

Erwin was way more than "sasageyo" line and his lost army the comparison between him and Flock is lame.

Floch and Erwin are complete opposites are we even reading the same manga??

Erwin was fighting for HUMANITY. Floch has information that Erwin never knew and is fighting for the renewal of the Eldian Empire.  I don't think it is reasonable to compare them in parallel based on this logic.

   WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FALCO’S JAW TITAN?

Falco’s Titan makes its debut! It sure is something to behold – I guess Falco’s always wanted to fly. Wonder if he can now? The popular opinion at 46.6% is that he’s a weird looking guy but that we’ll probably grow to love his design. 33.6% already love it! 16.2% of you don’t know what the hell this thing is supposed to be right now, and a few of you were just scared. That must mean it’s doing its job! Little Falco may have lost control but his transformation helped turn the tide of battle, now that’s a real feather in his cap.

Love Falco’s Titan

We finally have Xenomorphs in AOT

Falco's titan is weird but unique.

Titan Falco’s mouth has a mouth. Wtf

his titans face made me annoyed. and the fur too.

Wait, did Falco just shift into a rooster? Just kidding, I love it. It's the only saving grace in this chapter. I hope it has a deeper meaning, too, other than just looking cool and being an element of surprise.

Unpopular opinion but Falcos jaws is overdesigned

Falco’s Jaw Titan, can’t wait for it to be animated

XENOMORPH TITAN

  FALCO'S TITAN IS BEASTLY, HAS TALONS, FUR, A BEAK, AND JUST OVERALL LOOKS DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT AND PERHAPS EVEN LARGER THAN THE OTHER 4 JAW TITANS WE HAVE SEEN. WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?

This titan has more forms than a Dragon Ball character.  The Galliard brothers' forms were incredibly similar and the others weren’t far off base.  But Falco’s looks to be on a whole new level, why could this be?  The most popular view is that Isayama’s just flexing his creative muscles, and about a third of respondents think it’s Falco’s animal characteristics coming out.

He likes birds

A bit of Zeke’s spinal fluid and Yams being punny.

All of the above, and also because we've been hinted about a flying titan, which is obviously going to be this bird.

Falco always wanted to fly away like a bird

I think it’s because of Zeke but I’m also wondering if Jaw titans are more beastial than other titans in general

He say bird be free and now he bird uwu

does Zeke even know that Falco is the Jaw Titan?

Falco name, but also a Berserk reference

It matches Falcos true bird-like character and fighting for freedom

Funny how it was speculated Falco getting the Beast Titan and turning into an eagle titan, and now his Jaw Titan looks like a Birdman.

PATHS has subconsciously made falco's fursona a reality.

  THE JAW TITAN NOW HAS 5 TOTAL DESIGNS, MORE THAN ANY OTHER TITAN. WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Hopping across the battlefield and from Shifter to Shifter, the Jaw Titan has come in the most forms out of all of the Nine Titans, but which one is the most popular? To probably no one’s surprise, Porco’s glorious lion-like form which made its debut in one of the most majestic Titan panels known to man took the top spot (69.5%). The hype of the recent chapter was enough to propel Falco’s bird-like form into second place (15.2%), with the presumably original Jaw Titan revealed in Ymir’s backstory coming in third (7.6%), narrowly followed by the OG (but technically not the actual OG) Ymir’s Jaw, and finally with the winner’s older brother coming in last (1.2%). Cheer up Marcel, you’ll probably get another flashback for your death soon.

The Jaw titan was one of my favourite designs but it's only now I'm realising it's definitely Porco's Jaw that was what I liked. Falco's might grow on me yet.

Why do Jaw titans have inner teeth the way they are? Shouldn't their purpose be the outer jaw/jaw muscles to crush?

I thought Falco's jaw titan was really badass and cool

All the Jaw Titans are actually great but I *had* to choose my girl Ymir's titan. Terrifying yet cuddly, and a lesbian disaster to boot. We stan <3

  WHO DO WE NEED TO START TAKING GUNS AWAY FROM?

This year’s chapters have caused many to realise that Gabi and Floch are two characters who just won’t stop shooting people, whether they be titans, prisoners, engineers or flying bird nests, so we decided to put the two head to head, once and for all deciding whose gun is getting confiscated. While it was close, the majority have decided that Floch is the one who needs his favorite toy taken away (58.6%) and not Gabi (41.4%).

Floch, I hate you >:( you are a bad person

Fuck Gabi, Floch is amazing.

Floch's failures make me laugh.

  ARE YOU HAPPY IT WAS GABI WHO GOT THE SHOT AT FLOCH?

This was one of our closer results this month but since it was a Gabi-centric question that is unsurprising. While previous polls have indicated hopes that Jean would be the one to take down Floch, it was Gabi this chapter who landed the first shot and the majority of respondents  (30.8%) were delighted with that. The next largest percentage (27.7%) didn’t care who the shooter was, they just want Floch dead.  The third most popular choice (23.1%) expressed disappointment that it wasn’t Jean. On the other end of the spectrum, 10.8% wish for Floch to live forever and 7.5% wanted it to be anyone besides Gabi.

Can't  believe Gabi did it again. Shot a Yeager and now the main Yeagerist, lol.

I wanted Jean to kill off Floch forreal, but I am happy with what we've got.

Gabi baby i'm so proud i never hated u lmao.

I'm sad for a bit because I expected huge hairbowl chapter. Hope it will be in the next chapter, Jean vs Floch dialogues are always interesting.

Floch deserved something worse than having the hope of saving the day stripped from him before getting shot by Gabi. I'm not mad that Gabi got the honour to shoot Floch, but I wanted it to be someone more satisfying.

Too many MVPs this chapter, but ultimately Gabs got my vote caused I cheered when I saw it was her who shot fucking Floch. Go Gabi!

  AFTER GETTING SHOT BY GABI, WHAT’S NEXT FOR FLOCH?

It’s been a popular view for a while now that Floch will die soon, and in this chapter he gave his final stand at the harbor.  Only 8.2% think it actually resulted in his death, with the most popular view being that he swam to the boat and clung on to cause even more mischief. A final final stand, if you will.

Floch is on/in the plane right now. He will ambush them soon.

I wish floch is confirmed dead

Floch should live

Floch will have a role in the coming chapters

Floch seemed really pathetic this chapter, but next chapter I feel he's going to kill at least one person, maybe a few, so that's scary.

It’s kind of dumb that we are conditioned to expect that Floch is still alive

I don't see the point of Floch killing someone next chapter when it could've been done in this one (with more weight to the battle) so I have no idea what's his role now.

I expect Floch to stay on the island and die there, with the Yeagerist movement coming to an end. Shadis left some of his students these wise words of when to fight back, and the time is nigh.

If Floch is still alive and he's on the alliance ship, then someone (who isn't a Titan shifter or an Ackerman) is going to die in the next chapter.

THIS CHAPTER GAVE US ANOTHER ICONIC PANEL, THIS TIME HIGHLIGHTING THE NECESSITY TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT. WHICH DYNAMIC FROM THIS PANEL IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Former friends as well as foes helping each other stumble off the battlefield makes for a great and emotional panel.  Just over half of you were most happy with Mikasa and Annie front and center (52.2%) after being famous rivals.  Reiner’s bros helping him was also very popular (31.2%).

MIKAANI RIGHTS!!1!11!1! - hajime isayama, 2020

mikasa helping annie was cool because they have like the biggest rivalry against each other so it's cool to see them help each other

I loved seeing all the characters backing each other up.

I'm not sure why the poll makers are pointing the group panel as something positive. Don't you know these people tried to kill each other just last week in their world?

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MAGATH AND SHADIS’ SACRIFICIAL SUICIDE PACT?

Let’s pour one out for CHADIS and MAGOAT, may they rest in PATHS. The duo’s sacrifice came out of nowhere but didn’t hurt any less, and 53.9% of you thought it was a fitting conclusion for both. 14.6% were just happy that they got to meet at all, fleeting as it was. 9.6% thought it was a great ending for Magath but were despondent over Shadis’ fate, and 9.2% vice versa. 8.6% thought the sudden loss of both was completely unnecessary. In any case, the star-crossed bromance was too explosive to last – may they continue to yell at Jaegers from the great beyond.

*ugly cries for Shadis and Magath*

I’m happy they were able to meet and I like the dynamic and parallels between them. They met a sad end but just like Porco they got to go out on their own terms. They’ll be greatly missed and appreciated.

Loved how both he and Shadis went out in a blaze of glory while reflecting on how proud they were of their students. Especially Magath realizing he wished for them to live normal lives.

That was a curveball I didn't expect at all and I was in denial when I read it and a few minutes afterwards. I was so hoping both of them would get to continue helping their protegees out with experience and all that. But I'm glad they got to meet. It felt like both of them needed that.

I would have preferred them to blow up the ship without them in it and then deciding to have a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid kind of ending, but utlimately, it works. They were dead either way, sinking that ship was gonna take more than a few thunder spears, they needed to ensure the Yeagerists couldn't catch up, and so, it works.

if either of them were injured and needed help to set up the explosion/defend the one setting it up, this would make a better sacrifice for both.

Shagath would've brought world peace. That's why they had to go

I understand the sacrifice and that maybe no one else had the guts to do the same, but Magath is such a capable leader and it feels like he perhaps wasted himself at the end there a little?

Both characters went out in a blaze of glory, Shadis helped derail the reinforcements and Magath was able to get Falco to safety before he did too much damage. Shadis saw this as a way to repay the debt of all those he lost while he was commander of the survey corp and Magath saw this as his way of sacrifice for what he has done to every Warrior.

It was satisfying to see Shadis do this, but I think Magath's change of heart happened too quickly for it to be satisfying for him

It wasn't a great ending and Chadis didn't have to die there

It wasn't necessary but not a bad ending for them.

It's Beyond the Wall from Game of Thrones again. Let's have a character absent for some time jump in, save the alliance by blowing up a train and die immediately. I hated that episode and I have mixed feelings about noone getting shot and having Shadis sacrificing himself.

It's certainly a meaningful way to die, but I regret all old characters are dying. If none of them will remain then who will lend their experience to new generations? IDK what is the message here, but surely resolutions for old characters are way more satisfying than for 104th and some other newer members of the cast (with exception of the children, they're handled the best).

It’s a good and sad conclusion for both, but I feel like we still need Magath cause he is the only Marlayan that is working with Eldians

It’s an ending on par with Erwin’s. They sacrificed themselves so the next generation can live to give their lives meaning, and to repay for the mountain of bodies they left behind. I hope the Kings shall meet in the afterlife

Kinda cheesy imo and also kind of rushing the end for shadis I feel

Like I said above, the sacrifice was rushed. It's a potentially great sendoff for both characters which is lessened by the breakneck pace the series is going.

sorry but it was really cheese, i hated the fact that shadis told the reclutes to join the jaegaergist but then he killed them on train

Not that fitting for Shadis but Isayama is definitely aiming for all the leaders alive here

Magath is probably one of the only people who could have been able to bring some sort of cooperation between Eldia and Marley, but I was satisfied with his sacrifice and how they met, its like they both gave closure to each others arcane

I like Shadis and didn’t care for Magarth yet I was still wondering why. I get it’s a shounen-esque story but even in Naruto the older generations played a role. Here they’re only good for sacrificing themselves (Pieck could have done it and survived the explosion)

I haven't finished a chapter in SnK in a long while that made me FEEL as much as this one did. And it's all thanks to the duo of Magath and Shadis. Honestly even though I can say I was never the biggest Magath fan, he really started to grow on me in the past 3 chapters. I never thought I would actually feel the burden of his sacrifice in my chest. He has my respect. I'll really miss him.

Keith and Magath are feasting together in Valhalla now.

  NOW THAT MAGATH IS GONE, MANY HAVE POINTED OUT THIS MAY LIMIT THE HOPE OF PARADIS HAVING DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH THE WORLD. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?

Magath’s death wasn’t just emotional, but could have a big impact on the ending.  Respondents were pretty split on this question, but the most popular view was that Paradis will still pull through and find a path to peace.  The next most popular view at about 30% is that Paradis never had a chance even with Magath.  18.5% think Paradis’ hopes for peace did indeed blow up along with Magath.

Fuck who is gonna vouch for the PARÁDISIans now?1

Would’ve liked to see him survive to become a Paradis advocate

Magath was the most important person in Marley and the only person who could help to make some kind of peace between Paradis and the world. And now he just... decided to commit sacrifical suicide? C'mon!!! He was too important. Now I don't keep big hopes for peaceful ending anymore.

Who tf is going to reason with Marley nowthat Magath is gone. Paradis is even more fucked, not that they had any chance of having diplomatic relations with the world before....

I say that without Magath diplomacy is doomed, but they will probably use the Kiyomi card and Onyonkopon card along with the "humans for the rights of eldians showed some ch ago" card

With him dead, it seems that Paradis doesn't have anyone with sufficient standing throughout the rest of the world to prevent them from wiping out Paradis for sufficient time

He screwed up, he needed to stay alive to spare Paradis if the Alliance won, the honorary marleyns can't do that.

  MOST INSPIRING QUOTE?

It wouldn’t be shounen without inspiring quotes, and we don’t have a shortage of them this chapter! A strong majority of you, clocking in at 42.6%, thought General Magath’s line about wishing “those kids could’ve lived a normal life” was most inspiring. Almost exactly tied (though the percentages might be deceiving, red has one less vote than blue), are Floch’s line about the fate of Paradis if Eren is stopped, and the Jean/Mikasa duo-quote about hesitation. Trailing a few points behind is Shadis’ “I’m proud of you” moment, and in last place was Floch’s “Eldia will be saved by me!”.

  DO YOU THINK CERTAIN CHARACTERS HAD TOO MUCH PLOT ARMOR THIS CHAPTER?

With a big battle going on, did the appropriate amount of characters survive?  The vast majority (46%) don’t care about numbers alive as long as the battle is well written.  22% believe the alliance does have too much plot armor, and 15.3% retort with the idea that everyone has plot armor.  About 10% think Floch should have died by now and has taken all the plot armor.  7% don’t think anyone has plot armor, it’s a cruel cruel world indeed.

Feel like most of the plot armour people are feeling about this chapter is simply because none of the soldiers are taught how to wield the gun 3DM gear.

Too much unnecessary plot armor for the alliance .

The plot armor was beyond stupid with the Yeagerists turning into Stormtroopers

the plot armor is to thicc in this chapter,at least some of Kiyomi's men should have died.

  DESCRIBE THIS CHAPTER IN 1 WORD.

Here are the top 5 descriptions of the chapter chosen by you, the fandom. You can find the average score for the groups between brackets. The average score for the chapter this month was 4.21 for comparison.

Amazing [4.84]

Great [4.62]

Awesome [4.67]

Epic [4.81]

Intense (shared 4th place) [4.5]

Honorable mention: Chadis

Also shout-out to the folks who were compiling a recipe. Seems to be lacking some carbs though. What cookbook were you guys reading this month?

BEANS

Paprika

goat

Nutty

Yummy

  ISAYAMA RECENTLY SAID IN AN INTERVIEW THAT THERE IS ONLY 5% OF THE STORY TO GO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS?

We’ve known for a while that we’re in the final arc, but now we have confirmation we’re really reallyyyyyyy close to the end.  About 42% of readers expected it to end right about then anyways, while 28.8% think it’ll end up going longer, as Isayama’s extended past his percentages in the past.  19.4% are worried how the story will be wrapped up in that time.

A little worried, but I trust in Isayama.

AAAAAAAAAAAAH

AOT has been in my life since 2013 and is pretty much the last bit of my childhood still going. Of course I'm sad it's ending, but I'd rather it end than go on forever like the walking dead and so on.

As long as the ending is written well it doesn’t matter to me

Since I'm extremely new to SnK, I can't say anything about Isayama's writing habits and all that, but speaking as a fellow writer, I could see that he might underestimate the story that's left, though not by much. I'm also kind of worried that it might be a bit too soon but then again, SnK always has long chapters, so it might work out just fine.

The truth is sad to know that it is over, since I took a lot of love, but I know that the end will be amazing

I just want him to stick the landing, the amount of chapters left is not important.

I need Isayama to make more chapters so we can keep getting Podcast episodes of You Hear Big Girls

I can't believe how close we are to the end. I just know it's gonna get crazier from here on.

I expected this, but the closer we get the more clear it is that he needs to take more time to properly resolve arcs than he seems to want to.

I feel like we're gonna get a rushed ending and loose ends either ignored or tied up as throwaways

I feel that the story is going to end in an abrupt yet succinct way.

I have faith in Isayama no matter what he plans to do with the story.

But WHERE does Historia fit into that 5%

honestly a little more than expected

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ONCE SNK ENDS HELP ME

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER?

Absolutely dominating this question is the desire to see Eren’s POV (as usual), with 40.9% of the vote. Trailing quite behind at just under 16% is Historia, then.. uh. death and destruction, apparently. After that it gets pretty close, with Floch’s last stand trailing less than half a percentage point behind Zeke (who trails behind death and destruction). After Floch’s last stand, we have the desire to see an epic, carefree adventure on the ocean, followed lastly by Hizuru’s base.

Somethings up. We still haven't seen Eren's point of view, and there's dedinately a reason for it.

Nice!  Now give me family bonding on the ship plz Isayama

Next chapters gonna be pretty cool imo, but the community will call it another "aLlIaNcE fIlLeR cHaPtEr"

Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren

Enjoyed seeing Floch finally getting hurt, his luck needed to end. I'm sure he's alive and in the ship, and I'm totally sure he'll take away someone's life in the next chapter. But please, Yams... Floch must die.

HISTORIA AND EREN POV

HISTORIA WHEN

I'm pretty sure the next chapter will take place on the ship, so I expect some good dialogue

I hope the boat setting will give enough time to address the untouched issues Isayama has been evading with those two groups interacting, mainly Levi and Annie. Or the Warriors acknowledging the massive sacrifices the Paradisean side is doing and stick up for them in a situation where they are successful.

when are we going to see História? She has been pregnant for too long.

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES?

Reddit once again T-poses on all the rest of the platforms, coming in at just over 40% of the responses. Twitter follows it with 16.5%, and is in turn followed by people who don’t discuss the series at all. Behind that is Discord with 10.3%, and Tumblr with 8.4%. It’s astonishing to me how much the demographics of this poll have changed. Tumblr used to compete with Reddit, and now it’s so low on the list that it’s the last one with a section big enough for Google Forms to include the percentage number on it. The responses with no visible percentages are, in this order: Real Life (90 votes), Instagram (28), Facebook (19), Youtube (16), 4chan (9), the Wiki (3), Snapchat (3), and Steam (2).

Snapchat had 3 people. That’s 0.2% of the vote. That’s one more than Steam and tied with the Wiki. I’m in perpetual disbelief that it gets any votes at all, and I remain convinced that it’s some sort of conspiracy of people who forgo discussing the series on any of the major platforms just to discuss it on snapchat with each other, specifically so they can screw with me when it comes time to write the poll blurbs. Or they’re just lying… much to think about……..

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

I just loved that the old 104th group despite what happened between them, how the people, the world, the history tore them apart is fighting together once again and protect each other like a big family

Calling it now, Zeke got vaporised in Eren's transformation.Still mad years later that freckle Ymir died the way she did and I choose to be mad because I was born into this world.

While it was an intense chapter that was exciting and sad I think it’ll move the story to the next stage in a really good way.

While the last few chapters were still really good, this one brought back the same unbridled hype I had when reading 116-123. We may debate cringevengers vs yeagerists, but I think we can all agree that this manga is still a fucking masterpiece.

Why does Isayama always crush all the good feelings you have during a chapter at the very end? The panel with all of them supporting each other was so powerful and heartwarming, not to mention seeing them all fighting together before and trying to reach the ship, and then Isayama just goes and kills Shadis and Magath. Freaking curveball at the end. RIP

I love gabi, BEST GIRL!!!

I love the alliance chapters and I'm not sorry at all!

Isayama as usual

Isayama, please, let Hange and Armin do something important before the ending, or their deaths

Isn’t 126 shit Tier writing but aren’t great either.Feels forced.

It felt a bit messy/clumsy at my first read, but at every reread it felt better, and I think the messy feel (compared to the smooth RtS arc) was deliberate.

Karl Fritz chapter soon

What a goddam pleasure to see yeagerists getting shot down, and what an extreme joy to see Floch's fans being overwhelmed by common sense from other fans

Where is Eren? We want Eren!

This was a good chapter. I really enjoyed it

Nearly all alliance members increased their kill count, except Levi, Yelena and Onyankopon. Gabi just shot Floch but we all know he isn't dead. They all sliced, decapitated, dismembered, crushed, shot people they once called comrades for some vague goal that might be completely meaningless, since, no one discussed any terms once Eren is stopped. And with Magath dead, they never will.

Kinda sad on how Armin's characters has been treated so far. Served as stair to Connie twice and now Isayama put him to sleep in the middle of the fight without any contribution at all... I'm a Armin stan and i'm bothered. Hope he gets some real shit soon.

After the Alliance noping out of Paradis, I wonder when they will return their homeland, and I think Floch is alive, but instead of sneaking onto the ship he will gather the Yeagerists to strengthen his control on Paradis, crowning himself as the King of New Eldian Empire. And more civil wars are on the way so stay tuned…

more mikasa pweeze

My old man once said "Alan Moore can't do endings," and I'm getting that vibe here, too--with everything that's come before, is there even a way to bring this story to a close that isn't too drawn out with answers to questions that didn't need asking, or a sudden cluttered mess wrapping as many subplots as it can in only two or three chapters at the expense of quality and feeling?

Need more shirtless Reiner

No matter what others may say, that was a great chapter. I loved the battle between the alliance and jeagerists. Few years ago, during the battle in Shiganshina they probably didn't even think about figting on one side with Reiner and Annie. I remember how they were trying to kill him and look where they are now. However, I get a feeling that after Magath's death there will be no hope for peace between Paradis and the rest of the world. I get a feeling that we may get full rumbling after all =/

no, its G O A T E D

Not a fan of the recent chapters. Feel like the story is telling me to root for the alliance, but I don't care about their goal and I'm with Eren 100%. I wish there were more characters in support of Eren and the rumbling. Floch and the yaegerists are great, but it's annoying that they are being painted as the evil bad-guys when their goals are noble. It's sad to see the main characters who've fought for their friends, families, and homes the entire series just completely disregard all of that and become willing to sacrifice it all for the rest of the world who hate them and want them dead.

Off topic: reiner is a snacc

One more month of no one having a solution to the actual problem other than agreeing that it’s a problem :/

The Survey Corps proved, once again, that they are not to be underestimated. They work seamlessly together and they respect one another.

The wait is torturous, but there's really no better way to be moving things along right now.

Theo Magath deserves a golden star for being amazing man till the end.

Why didn't the Yeagerists just Thunderspear the plane?

I’m sure I’m in the minority but the Titan fights are my least favorite parts of the story. So this chapter being largely comprised of them made it kind of meh to me. I feel like the plot is simultaneously going too fast and not fast enough. Chapters like this one make me very worried about how this will all end

floche: NNNOOO DON'T STEAL THE BOAT YOU'RE GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING HHHH

gabi: hehehe floche go boom

Hange's group are a bunch of hypocrites and traitors , hopefully they all die in the most grossume ways by Eren's hands .

I love Floch and the Yeagerists , they fought to the last breath for Eren , their home and people .

Keith is an idiot and died like an idiot .

I'm happy that Magath finally died hopefully the rest of the alliance are next .

i can't understand people defending Floch. You're siding with yeagerists ? Okay, but take Samuel, Daz or Louise as exemple, everyone except Floch. Floch was written to show the drift of patriotism. That is his goddam meaning. That what Isayama has been writing since Floch's reappearance. The same way Hanji embodies Survey Corps' values or Jean embodies the necessity to do the right thing. That are the writing purpose. Please, respect Isayama's work.

I love Attack on titan ❤️

I luv Floch

I MISS HISTORIA

I need Ackermans

Loved it, I'm enjoying all the time were getting with the alliance but I'm anxious to see what's going on with Zeke, Eren, & Historia.

overall pretty great! Gabi really needs to have her aimbot checked though :/

YAMS I’M STILL WAITING FOR PIECK TO ACKNOWLEDGE PORCO’S DEATH IN SOME WAY.

Where the fuck is Armin in that shot of everyone?

Floch is a great leader and the Jaegerists are not in the wrong.

I like koalas

you know my thoughts

Where's Eren

Where's Levi?

Wheres boriiiiis

i dont have any hope anymore i cant imagine them dead its too much for me damn u isayama

I genuinely loved it. I can't wait to see how it all ends.

I personally didn’t like it since it was the 6th alliance POV chapter in a row, and possibly the next two chapters will also be an alliance POV. I’m tired of the alliance and I don’t support their cause, so it’s kind of boring to read another alliance chapter after 6 months of alliance POVs.

I hate everything, why did Isayama had to take Magath away

I really liked that Isayama was still consistent with shifters not being able to control their titan the first couple times.

I really thought Armin was gonna help fight during the battle with his messed up zombie jaw, but instead he just kind of passed out and disappeared for most of the chapter. We're heading towards the end of the manga and I need to see more Armin scenes, I'm really rooting for him to be a key figure in talking to Eren/the general ending as a whole but as of now he's still just kind of useless.

I feel like that this chapter is foreshadowing the titan war. Remember in chapter 100 when the guy ( I can’t remember his name) said if Eren starts the rumbling, he will cause the titan war to start again. That might explain why Falco randomly attacked Pieck.

I remember Pixis telling Eren how he thinks about a story between mankind coming together against a powerful enemy, and Eren said it was rather optimist thinking that he doesn’t believe would truly work. He also mentions that they are hardly working together because difference in morals are to strong, they are not truly fighting together. But in the instance where Magath and Shadis were able to put aside their differences just so that their students may have a better future, shows that humanity can still exist, but unfortunately mainly when brought upon an unavoidable death which leads me to believe what will become of the alliance if they are forced into this position.

I hate the alliance so fuck it

I have no idea how this is gonna end.

I hope floch stays dead hes such a menace

I hope there’s a nice discussion next chapter

I hope this shit is over and we can have a better written material

Thought there was a bit too much plot armor ... especially with Gabi saving the day endlessly

I really hope we get back to focusing on multiple story lines in a single chapter, instead of following a single group. I wish we saw Shadis on his way to derail the train. I hope we get to see a group of Yeagerists in Shiganshina finding Zeke. Just give us a shot of the farm Historia is at. I'm really starting to miss the other story lines.

Ch130 Bert talk let's GOOOOOOOOO

Consistently good quality as expected from Isayama. I have faith he will continue releasing kino and stick the landing with the ending.

Cool, portrays the desperation of both the alliance and the Yeagerists

Could be better

Does the gang even KNOW that Shadis went boom along with Magath!?

I just hope Isayama gives Levi a death befitting a hero like he did with Shadis. I get AoT is not Levi’s story anymore but seeing him not being able to do anything really hurts. Even his own soldiers (besides the alliance) don’t respect him anymore, he doesn’t have anywhere to come back to. He probably won’t be able to kill Zeke (he never gets what he wants) but please let him die knowing he gave meaning to his comrades’ lives.

I wish Mikasa would be able to hate Eren at last. Still not happening 🤔

i wish we could have seen armin more— just my personal preference. i adore the man.

I wish we had the warriors' thoughts on Bertholdt but it wasn't the right moment at all. Maybe next chapter? I'd like them to mourn their comrade and friend. Hell annie and reiner spent lot of time with him reiner even had nightmares about him being removed from his titan. It feels so unsatisfying and frustrating. So great great chapter but please give a break to the warriors.

Great chapter. I was scared for our girl Pieck tho but glad to see her in action.

I wonder how Eren will react finding out how many have died in his name or against his cause. Shadis, Daz, so many Survey Corps peeps...

Good, but can we please get moving this plot along to eren/historia/zeke?

Goodbye, Shadis McChadis. You deserved a 200/10 exit, but you got a 7/10 instead. X'(

I don't care aobut anything else just show me eren

I don't care who you are just don't touch the Meme Queen! Goddamn Falco almost killed her.

I don't know

Levi being tied on Pieck and carried like a baby made me laugh so much

Glad that we're done with the port battle now

Levi is smol

Levi most likely left the alliance.

Levi so small

Levi still exists

Levi was cute

Leviiiiiiiiii

WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES-BENZ! YOU LOOK LIKE A BALD FUCKIN' EAGLE!

things make sense. The story is building as it goes, and Yams can’t go back an change it around. Eren POV is coming

Pieck didn't even try to stop Falco other than "noo don't go you're so young ahah" and that was pathetic. Having him die there would have been extremely effective and it would have been a great way to address the "random child inheritance" situation previously described

Please let the bastard really be dead.

PogChamp

Poor Annie. Dat powercreep.

Press F for Chadis

quite happy that floch seemingly survived, his speech kinda made me sympathetic towards him, shadis and magath were brilliant..rip

Really well drawn and very powerful ending.

So now everyone has left Paradis... do we have any other characters that can group up with Historia apart from Nicolo and the Brauses?

So sad the Bertalk has to be delayed but at least there's no option now. If the whole traitor parallel happens right after Jean finally gets to vent over Marco and they dont mention him once then... shit writing, everything is a coincidence and nothing is a parallel in this manga. Let Reiner be angry 2k20

Some good moments, sure, but PLEASE for the love of god can we cut to the chase now???

FLOCH GOAT. FUCK TRAITORS. SOMEONE BETTER GET FLOCH'S GLOCK.

Stop using our Eternal Commander Erwin for your fascist shit, Floch

Someone probably says that the chapter was rushed. However, I think Isayama has his plan, and he will put those flashbacks which you guys need soon, so don't worry about that :) I also want to know what happened to Historia and her baby while the league of SC and the Warriors was fighting in Marley. She plays an important role in the whole SnK plot, and before someone fortet her, we need our queen to come back.

Still cant take the alliance serious. They all acting out of character. Just hoping they will betray each other and the scouts will be on Erens side. Dont get why the alliance want to save people outside and for that Goal they slaughtering all their own people. That is also wrong like the genocid. It does not Matter, because killing is killing

Strong ending but I prefer dialogues over action. Also we saw nothing of Levi, he's being dragged around until he can meet up with Zeke, really convienient...

Surprisingly good

Every chapter that goes by without presenting a twist to this endgame makes me more and more anxious.

Annie looks very shocked to see people supporting her. Gabi can’t stop getting traumatised

ANY CHAPTER WHERE FLOCK GETS FUCKED IS A GOOD CHAPTER

armin suffered too much

I started to dislike AMJC. I understood why they opposed Eren (despite not thinking it through) but now they’re killing their own people to protect their “comrades” (who will cause trouble later because they want to kill Eren but Armin and Mikasa don’t). This for a small chance of maybe stopping Eren. If this had happened before he started his path of destruction I think I could understand, but now there’s no going back. Eren sealed the SoY’s fates in the eyes of the world. Hange and co had to realize the SoY would now be exterminated instead of enslaved because of the horror Eren unleashed, showing the world what just one SoY was capable of

I don't really have negative thoughts on the chapter other than Gabi shooting Floch, but if he survives then i'm fine. I just think the chapter was somewhat uninspired, the scenes between Magath and Shadis didn't hit the emotions they were supposed to with me.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE VOLUME ON THIS BUS IS ASTRONOMICAL

The dynamic between the Yaegerists and Alliance forces was really interesting and depressing to see. Floch's speech humanized them and they proved to be really dangerous by decimating Reiner and Annie.

The chapter was great, a lot of action, a lot of close calls. I really thought a lot of the characters like Annie, Reiner and Pieck were in trouble. I at least thought Pieck was going to die since she was in the jaws of Falco but she's fine so that's good. I wish Shadis didn't die so soon, but I guess Isayama is trying hard to wrap up loose ends before the end so I understand.

i dont want a sad ending.

was a nice chapter, it feels even better because it came after the extra long waiting time

I still don't like that AMCJ betrayed Paradis. All of their fights before with the Warriors were in vain and meaningless like this. Is this why so many of the SC died? Erwin and Bertholdt too. I don't hate them, but can't understand. Also, RIP the Yeagerists, it was a brutal massacre. F Chadis and Chadgath.

I still don’t see how they stop the rumbling so it’s likely they don’t do it but eren chooses to, talking could be underwhelming but if it’s future eren knowing this could lead to something that we don’t know yet and is the horrible thing grisha mentioned the rumbling or worse?

I think in this chapter alliance crossed the line and now they full of determination to end their job

I think it lacked armin or he was too deficient at the time.

Teenage go brrr and alliance has plot armor but thats expected they have roles to play like getting killed by eren

Thanks for the shout-out for our 'cockroach' fill-in last chap, it made our week!

The Alliance feels increasingly supported by the script.

The alliance needs to be dealt a blow or have some internal conflict other cab playground insults around stew.

The battle between the alliance and Floch & the Yeagerists is totally unfair .

The alliance had 4 titan shifters , 1 Ackerman , 3 skilled soldier and 1 skilled warrior in the battlefield .

Floch & The Yeagerists are not skilled soldiers but they proved their bravery and fought for Eren , their people and home to the last second .

This chapater was just a set up for what's to come so judging it harshly would be unfair

this chapter was emotional on all levels and we had some information about the rumbling. The alliance worked very well and Keith was a hero. He was a hero in the shadows and I am happy that he was able to meet Magath because it allowed us as readers to see these two commanders from a different angle. Keith and Magath had a lot in common and could have been friends under other circumstances. Their sacrifice was an excellent end to this penultimate battle. Now is the time for the last final battle!

[a-singleboat]

Smosh Family Feud

WORD COUNT: 1805

A/N: so, i’m uploading this from mobile and will get back to format it asap when i get home on Tuesday morning!

You glared into the sun from your post next to Noah and Lasercorn. It was getting cooler as the hours clicked on, but the setting sun seemed to be taunting you. It was saying that this day would end and another would have to take its place. On any other day, you’d be fine with it. Today, however, the sun was a timer and it was ticking down how much longer you guys had outside before you had to wrap filming for the day.

You forced your gaze away from the sun in time to see Sarah bounce over to stand in the middle between the two groups. You refocused on your podium and took note of the person counting down behind the camera.

“Smosh Summer Games: Apocalypse!”

Lasercorn made a comment loud enough for his mic to pick it up, sending you into a small fit of giggles. You poked his cheek, a smile gracing your lips, “Old man Corn.”

He swatted your hand away, sounds of protest coming from his mouth.

“Today, we are playing Smosh Family Feud,” Sarah announced, pausing for the several whoops that were let out by the cast. “It’s gonna get nasty, it’s gonna get a little shady and we’re gonna spill all the tea.”

Sarah explained the rules of the game, which was more for the viewers than it was for us. You looked off to Toxicitea’s side, furrowing your eyebrows at what Ian and Joven were up to. They both had their foreheads pressed together while making running movements but moving nowhere.

Sarah explained the punishment, a Holi Powder Slap to the face from the opposite team. You squished your face between your two hands and pouted. A Holi Powder Slap was the last thing you needed.

Soon enough, the first question was asked. Sarah turned to us and proclaimed that we would receive the first question.

“Don’t let us down, Court!” you called, shooting her a supportive thumbs up. “You got this, I love you!”

She glared at you before dropping the mean look and giving you a cheesy grin. “Love you too!”

“My first question to team Mushroom Clout is, we’re gonna start out a little soft,” Sarah glanced down at her cards. “Who on your team would die first during the apocalypse?”

You bit your thumb before scribbling down your answer and flipping your board over.

Sarah asked for Damien’s answer first.

“Love you, Courtney, but Court!”

Courtney took offense to that, playing up her reactions for the camera. She threw her hands up and fell onto her podium in semi-defeat.

Keith’s answer came next, working down the line until it reached you.

“I’m so sorry, but I put Damien,” you flipped your board for the camera to see. You put up your hands in self-defense, rocking back slightly, “But only because I feel like he’d go back for someone or he’d make the sacrifice play for his friends!”

“No yeah, that makes sense,” Shayne shouted from the opposite end of the line. “Damien would one-hundred percent make the sacrifice play.”

The votes were tallied up as one for Courtney, one for Keith, one for Damien, and two for Noah.

“So, Courtney, who did you think would die first in an apocalypse?”

Courtney whipped around to look at Damien. “First of all,” she started, “Damien, I am hurt. I would kill it in the apocalypse. But, you know I picked the person, the only person who doesn’t have a driver’s license.”

She flipped her board to reveal Keith’s name written down. You clapped politely and stood quietly for the opposing team to take their turn. By now, the sun was on a steady decline downwards and you could see the golden hour coming into play.

The next question for your team was, “Who on your team has the worst style?”

You looked at each person individually before your eyes settled on Lasercorn. You sent him an apologetic look before quickly jotting his name down. The votes for this round ended up being five votes for Lasercorn.

“I’m sorry, dad, but have you seen what you’ve decided to wear today?”

Lasercorn looked down at his outfit and motioned wide. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

You turned and pointed at the camera, “Nothing! Hashtag Rep Mushroom Clout!”

“Wait, no, don’t change the subject. What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“I don’t know, dad. You tell me!” You used that bit to garner a few laughs before hugging it out with your Smosh dad. You both refocused on Damien at the guessing booth and crossed your fingers in anticipation for Damien’s answer.

“Real quick,” Damien said. “Noah, your style is wacky weird. And like good is subjective, you know? And Lasercorn wears a lot of video game shirts, I wear a lot of video game shirts.”

Your eyes widened at what Damien was implying. “Damien, tell me you didn’t!”

“No, you’re right I didn’t. But I did put Lasercorn down.”

The whole group came together at Damien’s words, screaming and generally being crazy. Courtney beelined for you and snuck a kiss onto your cheek. You instantly felt your face heat up at the content and hid bashfully behind your hands.

You watched Wes get voted as least funniest for their group, though he was okay with that. The round wrapped up with Toxicitea in the lead, ten to six. The odds were not looking so good for Lasercorn’s streak.

“Alright, Mushroom Clout’s turn,” Sarah whipped out her cards again and flipped to the next question. “Who on your team would ditch you guys to hang out with a celebrity?”

“Well, you know he’s really just one of my best friends but I feel like sometimes he’s just way too cool for me,” you flipped your board to reveal Keith’s name. “Keith, I love you and I know you would never intentionally hurt me or anyone else like that, but if Michael Jackson came back to life specifically for you, you wouldn’t say no.”

By the end of the voting, the points had rallied up as four for Keith and one for Courtney.

“This has really given me some time to self reflect, but at the same time,” Keith pointed at you. “My homegirl, Y/n knows me too well, I would leave y’all motherfuckers in a heartbeat to hang at the Jackson’s house.”

The way that the votes swung put both teams on equal ground, and it stayed like that for basically the whole time, forcing a tiebreaker round to be played.

“It’s time for the tiebreaker,” Sarah announced. “This question is for everyone on the cast. Who out of everyone-two people-do you think has the best ship?”

You contemplated for a moment before jotting down Shayne and Courtney’s names, thinking that besides from you and Courtney, those two would be an obvious choice. The only reason you didn’t put yourself was that you and Courtney haven’t really told the fans about your relationship, wanting to let it flourish without any outside input.

Courtney’s final answer proved your thinking right she revealed her answer to be herself and Shayne.

Toxicitea all voted, two for Iancorn, Two for Shourtney, and one for Ian and Anthony. Ian flipped his own board, revealing Shourtney as his answer. As Toxicitea celebrated their win, Matt Raub called you off to the side. He handed you the box that you had asked him to hold onto before this video’s shooting and gave you a thumbs up. “We’ve stopped shooting for now so you could do this.”

You thanked Matt before slowly walking back over to your podium. If you did this, there would be no going back, no matter the answer though you hoped it to be yes. You blinked, running your fingers over the soft velvet of the case and making up your mind. You put the box behind you, tucking it into your waistband, and marched over to where Sarah stood.

“Okay, while Shayne and Courtney was the winning choice, I have something to say.” Celebrations stopped in their place as curiosity overtook the group.

“Listen, Courtney and I have been together for a little over a year and a half but we’ve known each other since we were both Smosh babies.” You held out your hand to your girlfriend and she walked over and took it. You squeezed her hand tightly in your own. “We may both just be two women of Smosh, but right now, I am a woman about to ask the love of her life a very important question.”

You bent down on one knee and pulled the box out from your waistband. “My grandmother gave me this ring right before she passed and told me that I’d know what to do with it. And now that I’m on my knees in front of you, I know I’ve made the right choice.”

Courtney started to cry, all attempts to stop the tears failed as more kept coming. 

“Courtney Ruth Miller, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She pulled you up from your kneeling position and pulled you in for a kiss. The two of you separated long enough for you to slide the ring onto her finger before you were kissing again. All your friends cheered in the background, Joven going as far as to shout, “Get it, Y/n!”

Courtney laughed and pulled away and walked over to Ian, pulling him up to you. “So, get this though, Y/n,” Courtney held out her hand to Ian who had pulled out a near-identical box that was the same save for the color.

You watched as she got down on one knee. “I’ll only be accepting your proposal if you accept mine!”

Your friends started to scream in excitement, the two teams merging together. You laughed at the hilarity of it all before pulling her up and kissing her once more. “Of course, I’ll marry you.”

Courtney slipped the ring onto your finger and you both held up your hands, showing off the rings to your friends.

Eventually, Matt Raub had to intervene so that the punishment could be filmed while there was still sunlight out. After getting slapped by Olivia, you stumbled off to the side to blink out any holi powder that may have gotten into your eye, even if you were told it was safe.

Once everyone had been slapped, you found your way to Courtney’s side to watch Lasercorn tackle Ian after his slap.

“You know, people are gonna comment on our rings and we haven’t been public at all with our relationship.”

“Well then, I think it’s time we were.” Courtney kissed the side of your head. “Maybe a wedding planning video or a wedding dress shopping vlog.”

“I think that that would be an amazing idea.”

A /N: part two is a possibility with the “wedding footage”

ALSO; reminder that the red light green light survey is still up until tonight!

RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT IS NO LONGER OPEN, BUT 8/1′S SURVEY IS

[casworan]

❝ pride was fed to him from a silver spoon and now that he’s grown up, he’s grabbed the spoon and fed his ego some more. ❞ THOMAS HAYES? No, that’s actually CASWORAN ROWLE. Only EIGHTEEN years old, this SLYTHERIN alumni works as a PHILANTHROPIST and is sided with THE DEATH EATERS. HE identifies as A CIS MAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SNOBBISH, ENTITLED, and CRUEL but also DISCIPLINED, METICULOUS and CHARISMATIC. 

LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist. CHARACTER PARALLELS: schmidt (new girl), henry winter (the secret history), alistair ryle (the riot club), chad radwell (scream queens), chad charming (descendants) --- (how are two of these named chad wtf) HELLO uh just a heads up that i donut condone any of the behaviour this shithole throws into the world. yikes! also there’s some triggers in here for abuse and terminal illness, but they will be marked <3 

history

let’s get one thing straight --- emrick rowle and hemera rosier did not love each other when they married each other and they knew about it. they both agreed that their marriage was a good choice, a smart move, that it would benefit both and --- well, they both had ambition streaming through their veins, so the choice was made easily. they married, for political reasons, for money, but absolutely not for love. 

casworan was born a year into their marriage and was the perfect son. he wasn’t given a welsh name like so many rowles before him had, but a cornish one, celebrating hemera’s mother’s cornish ancestry. 

casworan means one who is powerful in battle, which emrick liked. he wanted a soldier, a pawn, a piece in his great chess match that was the world.

cas is a cousin to genie, wes and lo, and also to seren on his mother’s side.

and casworan’s parents might not love each other, they did love him. his mother’s love was doting and smothering, but genuine and unconditional.  his father’s was conditional, and based on expectations and constantly changing from hot to cold. emrick raised casworan to the perfect heir, the perfect son, the perfect pawn.

emrick rowle is a strategist, but also a coward. he uses his money and influence to pull strings behind the scenes, but is never the one to publicly call the shots. casworan is his son, but he’s also ... another piece in the game. he’s the person who’ll pick up where he left off, and emrick won’t leave everything to someone he does not trust and respect.

hemera is evan rosier’s daughter, by the way, and by no means a sweetheart, but a better parent. compared to emrick, the standard is quite low but still --- she is a better parent, and casworan is a complete momma’s boy. 

so casworan grows up --- spoiled dirty and loved by both parents. he learns languages (french and kernowek from his mother, latin and english grammar and such from a tutor), learns to play the violin, learns about his family’s history and legacy and how it intertwines with the rest of the history of the wizarding world, learns about blood purity and how one day he and his parents will rise above all the unworthy members of their society. he takes it all up and questions nothing, both because he has no reason to, and because his parents are convincing.

abuse tw (verbal and physical) // that’s not to say life was perfect. there was always a certain coldness at home. the lack of love between cas’ parents was clear to him from a young age, and it’s quite a strange thing, when your parents don’t seem to love each other but dont have any issue with it. there was no room for failure at home, no room for toeing the line. his father’s words could go from praising and prideful to harsh and cruel in seconds, his hands hard and unforgiving. casworan learned to keep his back straight and work harder and to swallow whatever anger he felt. he listened to every word that came from his father’s lips and took them in as truth and never questioned the way things were. end of tw

casworan went to hogwarts at age eleven ( he’d seen the castle before, of course --- he’d visited hogsmeade plenty of times before with his mother ) and was sorted into slytherin there. it was an easy sorting --- there were not many non-slytherin qualities the hat saw, besides maybe a sense of loyalty and a hunger for learning but cas’ cunning, shrewdness and ambition outweighed everything. 

hogwarts came easy to casworan. he was a good learner and knew plenty of people from his life before school -- people who ran in the same circles. to branch out wasn’t something he felt he needed to do, with a few exception here or there ( for either particularly skilled people or other purebloods he didn’t know yet ). casworan likes learning, values his education and was, well, a nerd. a hardworking student. was in a few clubs too, i’m sure --- i will get back on that when i have it figured out for plotting purposes! 

terminal illness tw // in casworan’s third year, his mother fell ill. it was a genetic disease, an incurable one, one that soon left her weakened and bedbound and tired. his father’s response wasn’t to stick to her side --- they didn’t love each other after all, and in all honesty, hemera didn’t want him on her side either --- but to flee in stead. his involvement in shady dealings grew and he retreated to the city more and more for work. casworan ... well, didn’t respond very well. 

abuse tw // he raged. he cried and raged and kicked against his father’s shins and demanded that he solved this because, well, the world had always given casworan exactly what he wanted, and when he got something he absolutely did not want, the one person he could blame was his father. he acted like a child because he was one, and his mother was going to die, and his father broke the news in such a cold way that he couldn’t help but rage. his tantrum was met with cold eyes and the same cruelty cas had felt before.

this was when a seed of hate for his father started to grow, something he’d never even dared to feel before. it’s still growing to this day. end of abuse tw //

a family friend moved in to help his mother, and they got a second house elf and life changed, thigns shifted. casworan learned what it was to feel out of control and well, he didn’t like it one bit. he’s entitled and spoiled and used to getting everything he wants and this situation is something he has absolutely no say in and it drives him mad. rather than give him some perspective, it just makes him act more entitled and controlling in the rest of his life. end of terminal illness tw //

so cas makes his way through hogwarts, acting like an entitled twat, hanging with his lads, having a laff here and there and earning a whole lot of NEWTs. he had no qualms sharing his world views or sharing his entitled nature, here and there showing a more violent and cruel streak. casworan is a bully, an elitist prick, someone who looks down on most people. 

when the war breaks out, well --- he’s quick to sign up. he believes in the cause, of course, and there’s no other option, really. he’s been prepped for this life. this is what he was made to do. he doesn’t even consider not joining. and so he joins and feels pride and power and a thirst to proof everyone around him that he’s the motherfucking shit. what an IDIOT.

besides his death eater life, cas is mostly focused on maintaining his image. like his father, he works hard on things like charity and philanthropy, so his name appears in the newspaper linked with good news almost exclusively. he’s picky, of course, about the causes he works for ----- things related to education, he genuinely works for, but there’s also some questionable things he donates to.

and then besides that, cas is mostly focused on enjoying life. getting drunk or high out of his mind, fucking shit up with the lads, having a good old time because guess what? the world is his to own and ruin, and he won’t stop at nothing. he’s entitled and obnoxious, but he always pays and tips well and sees absolutely no issues with his behaviour. he can’t wait for the world to become even more his as the war progresses. 

personality & tidbits

...... an asshole.

no literally he’s such an asshole. he’s so fucking used to the world catering to his ugly needs and getting everything he wants and he’s so entitled and such an ASSHOLE.

someone please punch him

anyway --- he likes Extra things. velvet and silk and rich fabrics and leather shoes and accessories with snake themes and polo shirts and ... he dresses like a frat boy, but then mixed with wizarding fashion

ugly. 

pretentious and snobbish to a fault. wants nothing but the best and is used to the best. would often complain about the house elves and their quality of food at hogwarts, because his house elves were much better cooks, they had been trained in france after all!!!

kind of hates his name and prefers to go by cas at all times, and i dont blame him

has daddy and mommy issues lmao !!! 

capitalist right wing scum, tbh. would have voted trump and brexit and all that shit if he was a real person. I HATE HIM SO MUUUUUCHHHHHHH.

“if youre poor, thats your own fault!”

he is literally the worst person

i hate-write this character its a load of fun

he loves his hair lmao

plays the violin and generally likes classical music? a snob, i told yall. also likes other music, let me figure it out pls thanks

okay let’s talk about some of his better sides because so far all ive done is drag this kid and thats reasonable, but ... he’s got some good things, i guess. 

he’s a good friend. like, if you’re his mate, you’re his mate for life (or until you turn your back, which is when he will feel hurt and will hurt u back yike!). he’ll be there for u Big Time. not good at emotional support, but good at sitting with a glass of wine/whiskey and talking/listening. will finance u if u need it (he doesnt like poor ppl but makes an exception for friends i guess?). will punch someone for u.

he ... does really value education? he would just like to see hogwarts change around bc there’s so much unnecessary shit (read: muggleborn students and subjects like muggle studies and divination). but yeah, he rly thinks that learning is important and that u have to ~broaden your mind ( but not too much ofc )

he is pretty family oriented, and rn he’s of course 18 so that’s not a big thing, but he’d be a ... proper dad? i think? he rly wants a big fam eventually

still a dick

good dueller and generally a pretty skilled wizard which is a bummer :/

loves partying and getting drunk out of his mind and then breaking stuff that isnt his, very riot club like

idk what else to say but HE IS AN ASSHOLE. 

[sir-adamus]

As a fan who's starting to find the whole Maiden angle unnervingly reminiscent of other franchises' power-creep dynamics (ditto for Silver Eyes(R), but at least those are barely usable ATM), I appreciate your take on said mojo not being conducive to Our Heroines' character development ('sides, Maiden!Cinder basically upstaged a freakin' dragon. Boo!). Plus, Ozpin's agenda has bugged me since we learned (a) he's spent centuries bodyjacking random peeps and (b) can assume direct control at will.

his agenda's bugged me since Time To Say Goodbye'were we born to fight and die, sacrificed for one huge lie. are we heroes keeping peace, or are we weapons pointed at the enemy so someone else can claim a victory'Sacrifice and Divide are both callouts of Ozpin as welland then we learn that not only has he had the four supposed gifts to humanity locked away for at least a century, and built the school system to keep him in a position of esteem and power even after his life as the King of Vale ended (and so still able to control the information people have), he's essentially admitted that the 'train Huntsmen and Huntresses to fight monsters' is all a front. the real purpose of the schools is to be filled with young people so there's a constant flow of meat shields between Salem and the Relicsin fact Ozpin almost exclusively makes use of children - the Maidens were 'young', he gives special attention to certain teams. young minds are easy to manipulate and indoctrinate - which i think is what we've seen with Qrow and Glynda, given how quick they are to defend him at the slightest provocation - and then he can handwave their deaths because 'they made their choice', even though they couldn't make an informed choice because a. they're young, b. numerous details are kept from them and most of the time they're straight-up lied to and c. they're not given real choicesPyrrha's 'choice' was an ultimatum, 'become our Fall Maiden and sacrifice your very identity for some nebulous greater good, or the bad guys win' isn't a choice. then in volume 5 he does it again, 'stay and find out what's going on, or leave and don't, no one would fault you for that' (this despite that they'd already come all this way, so obviously they weren't gonna leave but this makes it look like he'd given them a choice) and then he drives it home by making a snide, unspoken crack at Raven, 'if you stick around, find out what's going on and THEN decide to leave, then you're a coward'. obviously paraphrased but that was the gist of it. and then there's how he's light on the details of Gretchen Rainart's death but still gets on like he had no responsibility despite that he runs the school she was in attendance at when she died on a training mission said school had organised. as a teacher, and the headmaster at that, he is responsible for what happens to the students in his care, it can't be handwaved offeven his actions in volume 1, recruiting Ruby two years early, are suspect (especially as there's now an implication that Qrow had been training Ruby to groom her for Ozpin's use as a weapon)he's a shady motherfucker and i can't wait for him to get his just desserts#rwby

[betrayedvirtue]

CAUGHT OFF GUARD w/@VisionaryFury & @APoundOfFlesh_

Annisa: The fight with the orderlies lasted a good ten minutes, that is until backup arrived. However, I did get in a few really good kicks in all the best places… well, not so good for them, but I’m sure you catch my meaning... and I even managed to take a bite out of Moe, right under the armpit, where the skin is uber sensitive. I got a backhand across the jaw for that. Saw stars. Not the first time. Won’t be the last. I spit the mouthful of blood at him. I’m sure I looked like a prison inmate… psyche patient at Birch Miriam, inmate at the state prison, same thing.

Once the straightjacket was in place, and all the buckles secured, I felt the needle slide into my neck from behind. The cool fluid bled in and swam through my veins. Within seconds, sounds began to sound farther away, everything developed a kind of aura to it, and my whole body felt ten times heavier as Curly and Moe picked me up and carried me down the hall.

Shit! I must have a one-on-one with Mike. He was the last person I wanted to see right now, especially after the last group. Then again, I had a number of choice words for him. As we made our way down the hall, I began to list them off in my head. @VisionaryFury

Mike: [[ I’m not an idiot. There is no way  could have a session with Annisa in her current mindset without having her drugged and restrained. It’s sad because we should be past all that by now. I made too many mistakes and assumed she trusted me more than she does. It’s not only that, I underestimated how much fear she had for the wolf she saw the day her friend was murdered by a vampire. In her mind the vampire and wolf are both monsters and her enemy. I get that. If I were in her situation I’d believe the same. I think for me what makes a difference is I grew up around the people in La Push. I wasn’t friends with them but I was around them from time to time. Plus Angela is married to one of them and there is no way she’d do that if they were dangerous.

It doesn’t mean I still don’t have reservations about what is about to happen. I still have to convince Annisa that Leah isn’t a threat. #Zen wants them in the same room together and I’m trying to get Annisa  to go along with that. If I force it  I could break her mentally and all of this would be for nothing. It would make me just as bad as #Zen and I’m nothing like that asshole even if the plan is to mimic his behavior to make him think we are a lot alike. So the plan is this...to bring in Leah restrained to a chair to give Annisa a false sense of security that she won’t be harmed. The reality is there is nothing here that could stop Leah from doing what she wants to do. Annisa doesn’t have to know that. At least not yet. I’m running my hands over my face when I get a knock on the door. I tell the orderlies to come in and when the door opens I see Leah looking pissed off as she glares at me. I point to a nearby chair and nod. || “ Put her there...make sure she’s strapped to the chair real good. I don’t want her able to move at all.” || The orderlies do as I say and Leah shows some resistance but I know it’s more for show than anything else.

Once the orderlies leave and Leah and I are alone I walk around the desk and have a seat. I look in Leah’s direction and stark speaking to her. || “ Annisa should be here in a few minutes. Hopefully, this plan will work.” ]]

Leah: [[ When the time comes I’m going to set it off in here. I’ve been making a mental note of each and every time one of these orderly fuckers touch me inappropriately or abuse me. The people here are shady as fuck and no one is getting the medical care they need. They are  some slippery motherfuckers though because they cover their tracks. I let the orderlies shoot me up with the needle full of drugs that only keep me loopy for about a minute. I put up a fight when they try to put the straight jacket on me but not enough they can’t do it.

I find myself being drug down the hallway to Mike’s office and right before I’m pushed into the office one of the fuckers squeezes my ass cheek. I almost toss my head back to knock his ass out but that would mess up what Mike and I are trying to do here. So I restrain myself but I’ll have a few choice words for Mike when this meeting with Annisa is over. I say nothing while I’m strapped to the chair and not even when Mike and I are alone. The most I do is grunt when he says Annisa is on her way.]]

Annisa: By the time the orderlies get me down to Mike’s closed office door, I have a whole speech prepared for him, and I’m ready to start spewing words as soon as the door is opened, however, it only takes seconds for the fact to register that it’s not just Mike in the room. Nope. Leah is in there with him. I begin to scramble against the goons, but considering I wasn’t at my best with these drugs coursing through my body, I wasn’t able to put up enough of a fight. It didn’t matter to me that she was in a straightjacket like I was. It was a nice try on both their parts, but I had seen these beasts before. In wolf form, their shoulders met my own. There was no way in hell the material of her bindings would hold her back from anything. I began to scan the office for ways out, as I heard the door lock behind me. Windows? Bars. Heating vent? Too small, even for my small stature. Then I began taking inventory of everything and anything that I could use a weapon… Pen? Seriously? On what fucking planet would a pen fight off some wolf on steroids? Envelope opener? Better. I began to notice that I was trembling, despite the sedatives. Fuck! I didn’t want to show my fear. Why did he keep putting me in these situations? My back hit the wall. Shit! This was the farthest place in the room from Leah and it wasn’t nearly far enough, and the letter opener was across the room. Without taking my eyes off Leah, I spat at Mike, “Let me out! Now!”

Mike: [[ Well I guess that idea isn’t going to work. The fact that Leah is restrained doesn’t seem to ease any of Annisa’s fears. I’m at a loss of what else to do if she doesn’t at least try to see things my way. I stand up but stay where I am. Yeah Annisa is drugged and restrained but I’ve seen some of the physical damage she’s caused others while in her current condition. I’m about to respond to her outcry but then notice her face. Along her jawline is some bruising. I frown and move from behind my desk and walk toward her. I reach out to touch her face and tilt her head so I can get a closer look.|| “ What happened to your face? Who did this to you?” || I can’t help but wonder if #Zen has been to visit Annisa again even though I thought we had an agreement. I can’t imagine the orderlies would do that and leave marks on her. She wouldn’t have done that to herself. Not at that angle. This is why we need for this plan to work so that abuse like this can’t happen anymore.]]

Leah: [[ I’ll give the girl some credit. She isn’t stupid. It doesn’t take rocket science to know I can easily break out of something like this. I figure the only way to get Annisa on our side is to be real with her. I snort and shake my head as I watch Mike let his guard down when he tries to attend to Annisa. If she head butts him it will be his own fault. I remain where I am and look Annia in the eyes. I’m not gonna sugarcoat any of this for her. Mike might try to be all gengle around her but I’m not.||

“ He’s not going to let you out. You are here because you need to understand that I’m on your side. I’m not here to hurt you or anyone else. I’m here to help shut down this fucking place and have #Zen get what he deserves. I don’t like Mike for a variety of reasons but I’ll say this, he actually gives a damn about the patients in this place and he’s sticking his neck out for you. Hell he talked me into letting those asshole strap me to a chair to make it better for you. I did that because I believe in his cause. Whoever did that to your face needs to be in jail Annisa and I can help get them there. In order for that to happen you need to calm the hell down and work with us.” ]]  

Annisa: Eyes still on Leah, I snapped hard at Mike’s hand. Unfortunately, the drugs they had given me today slowed me down more than usual. Mike must have asked for a heavier dose. Fucker!

Then it begins to speak. I have to admit, it’s difficult to associate this calm, seemingly honest-to-a-fault… person with the wolf I’ve been told she is. However, I can’t seem to unstick myself from the wall. If she is what Mike says she is, one twitch and it could be all over. What kind of game is she playing? It must be obvious that I’m not Mike’s number one fan, right now, and she’s playing on that, trying to draw me in. And then there’s Mike, walking around the room like he owns the place, not one fucking care in the world that she… it… the wolf sits at his back. He’s told me he’s seen one. He knows what they are. He also knows what they can do. He’s heard me talk enough about it. Did I not go into excruciating detail about the bone-crushing jaws these wolves had on them? Why is he on her side? I know what I saw! I know what I experienced. Why is he trying to make me feel like I actually belong in this place?! I begin to mumble, more to myself than anyone else, “I am not insane, I am not insane…” Shit! Now, I actually do sound like I belong here. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and shot Mike a pleading gaze, “Let me out of here, please?” as tears begin to well up in my eyes. I hated myself for showing him this side of me, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let me out, and without my wits and strength, my anxiety began to kick in, and anxiety meant tears. Gone was the tough facade I put on every day of my life. This was me, raw… and I not only hated myself for showing it to him, but I hated him for pulling it out of me.

Mike: [[ I release Annisa’s face quickly when it’s apparent I’ll end up with a few less fingers if I’m not careful. I don’t turn in Leah’s direction as she speaks. What I do is keep my eyes trained on Annisa to see if anything Leah says penetrates through her built up walls of fear. The tears cascading down Annisa’s face gives me my answer. We are no closer to Annisa trusting Leah then when she first walked through that door. If anything this scenario is starting to break her in a way that #Zen wants it too. I hear what Annisa mumbles and I also hear her pleading for me to let her out. Please isn’t in Annisa’s vocabulary and I don’t the sense she’s trying to manipulate me to do what she wants. She’s pulling at my heart strings and it’s hard for me to remain professional especially since this whole situation has nothing natural or professional about it.|| “Leah is right, we need you on our side so we can put #Zen where he belongs and that is in jail. Annisa I need you to trust me. I know that is asking a lot. I didn’t go through what you went through. I didn’t witness what you did. You’ve had years to dwell on it and allow it to take root in your mind. You are not insane. I’ve never believed that about you. Even before you convinced me to search out the truth for yourself. I believe fate brought me to this place to work and also to you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Leah isn’t here to hurt you she is here to help us.

Personality wise Leah Clearwater is a bitch and may be supernatural but she’s not a monster.” || Saying that could get my ass kicked later but I’m trying whatever I can to convince Annisa that she doesn’t have to fear Leah.]]

Leah: [[ The prick with glasses just had to go there. Not that calling me a bitch means anything to me. I am a bitch and that isn’t a secret. So I ignore Mike and keep my focus on Annisa. She didn’t respond to me the first time but I’m going to keep trying. Cause that is me I’m persistent like that.|| “ You keep staring at me with those wide green eyes of yours like I’m going to huff, puff, and blow this place down then eat you. Why? Other than seeing a wolf kill the monster that wanted to kill you what have they done to you? Why can’t you just believe Mike when he says you have nothing to worry about?

In the time that you have known Mike has he ever done anything to you? Has he hit you or touched you inappropriately? Punish you for not conforming to what he wants? What? Why are you so intent on acting like this? You need to get it together. The longer it takes for you to realize I’m not the enemy the longer I have to stay in this godforsaken hellhole.” ]]

Annisa: When did this all become about “their side”? I thought Mike and I were on the same side. I thought this was all about mine and Mike’s fight. At least, it was about my fight, and Mike was going to help me. Now, all of a sudden, it’s become his fight and she’s the one that’s helping him… and I’m on the outside once again in my life. Why bother including me? Why bring it into this place, into my world? Ideas of him trying to make me insane begin to surface. What if, he never did believe me? What if this woman isn’t what he says she is, and this is all some elaborate plan to make me realize that I am totally insane? What if he is just buying into Zen’s Kool-Aid, and this is his way to torture me?

Then came Leah’s argument… Has he ever hurt me before? Has he ever forced me to do anything I didn’t want to? Groped me like Moe or Curly? Forced me to conform to the hospital’s ideals? Made me be anyone that I wasn’t? I dragged in a deep breath. I couldn’t say he had ever done anything like that. Not that that made me trust her at all. It was just that they were very good points. I still wasn’t comfortable with this situation. “If you won’t let me out, then get her out of here.” I seriously needed to let him have it and I was tired of twitching every time she moved.

Mike: [[ For a moment I thought Annisa was going to drift off into the recesses of her mind it seemed as if that was the direction she was going. I’m surprised by how composed and logical Leah sounds when she addresses Annisa. She’s coming at her from a different angle then I am but it seems to have calmed Annisa  a little even if she wants Leah to leave. I’m not sure if that is a good idea or not. I need to get Annisa comfortable with being around Leah and she’s nowhere near that right now. I sigh as I lean on my desk and look between her and Leah. Should I agree or no? I could push it and say yes but the whole purpose of this meeting is to prove a point that she’s safe with Leah being in here.

I have to make a choice though and I need to do it right now. I nod my head but I do have a condition. || “ I’ll send Leah back to her room but you have to answer her question first. Other than seeing a wolf kill the monster that wanted to kill you what have they done to you? Why can’t you just believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about? If I can be in this closed in space with Leah and it not bother me and I saw what you saw then why can’t you trust me enough to believe she’s safe to be around because I said so?” ]]

Leah: [[ I’m getting tired of this back and forth. Nothing gets accomplished doing this. Mike is walking around on eggshells with this girl and it’s wasting time. She can sho me away all she wants but the fact of the matter is I’ll still be here and Mike will continue to have meetings like this until Annisa finally gets it. I’m not doing all of that. It’s bullshit and we don’t have time for it. I look at Mike as I speak with irritation.|| “ Oh for fucks sake Mike! Go ahead and fucking tell her what #Zen wants to happen. Quit being a pussy, man up and be real with her. Stop treating the girl like she’s going to break! She wants me out of this office that is fine but you need to be upfront with her about everything. Don’t make me do it because I will.”

|| Am I being harsh? Yes, I am but I’m tired of all shit and being restrained like this is bothersome. I don’t want to have to do it again so I’m trying to get all this settled now. Annisa and her issues are irritating. I don’t have the patience for all this.]]

Annisa: Listening to Mike brought back my anger. Gritting my teeth together, I responded to his casual comment, “You didn’t see what I saw.” He hadn’t. He hadn’t gone through what I had. At first, it just seemed like some creep walking up on two teenage girls in the woods. He had toyed with us at first, flirting some with Kira and I. We had both liked to think we could handle the creeps. Then he got handsy with Kira, and before I knew it, blood was spurting everywhere and his mouth was dripping with blood. It happened so fast, I hadn’t even seen his mouth touch her throat. Then he dropped her like a rag doll, and one look at me, I thought it was over. Next thing I saw was this flash of fur come over my shoulder, knocking me down on my knees. As I stood up, I saw the wolf and the vampire fighting. That’s when I heard the power of the jaw, crushing bone. Unconsciously, I took a step back, all the while terrified of making any noise, for fear the wolf would turn on me. I don’t fully know what happened then. I remember losing my footing and falling backward. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital. I have no reason not to believe that wolf would have turned on me next if I hadn’t fallen down that hill. That’s what he didn’t understand. What I had seen was straight out of a horror movie. What he told me he had seen was some Disney movie.

I was trying not to give Leah any attention. I was hoping, the less I acknowledged her, the more she would leave me alone. It didn’t seem to be working so far, but I didn’t want her thinking I cared what she said. I seriously just wanted her out… out of the room, out of the hospital, out of my world. However, the fact that she was saying that Mike was holding out on me made me even more pissed off. But, to acknowledge anything she said would only encourage her, so I kept my mouth shut, hoping Mike would respond directly to her, and I could find out that way.

Mike: [[ I glare at Leah because I’m not ready to tell Annisa about what #Zen wants but she’s making it impossible to do this at my pace. || “ Shut up Leah! She’s not ready to hear about that yet. She can’t even deal with you being in this office.” || I look at Annisa and sigh. Maybe Leah is right. Maybe I should just go ahead and say it. || “ Look Annisa, #Zen wants to see you break. He likes that Leah is here and he wants to see the two of you kill each other. He wants to make the two of you roommates. He’s not giving much choice in the matter. Leah is here right now to get you to see it’s safe for you.”

||I heard what Annisa said and I know my experience wasn’t the same but that is the point. I have a different perspective.|| “ I need you to try and forget what you think you know Annisa and realize I won’t put you in harms way and Leah isn’t a threat to you.”]]

Leah: [[ “ Oh boy...this is ridiculous.” || I look at Annisa and snort.|| “ Look at me. I’m sitting here in this damn chair restrained looking like a idiot listening to the two of you sound like idiots going over the same thing over and over again. The bottom line is this. #Zen is a prick and he wants to get off on knowing he pushed you over the edge. I am not going to hurt you. I won’t go wolf on you or anyone else in this damn place. I don’t kill humans only vampires. If that wasn’t true you would have died that day. Instead you are alive and it’s because a wolf saved you.” ]]

Annisa: “No!” My eyes went wide and I think I was on the verge of fainting at the idea of having to be roommates with her… it. How the fuck was I going to get out of this one?! There was no way in hell I was going to be bunking with her. However, if Zen wanted it, it would happen. Losing grip of my balance, I slid down the wall. How was I going to handle being locked in a room, by myself, with this wolf?! I started hyperventilating. I was long past anxiety. This was a full-on panic attack. My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest and across the room, palms sweaty even though I felt chilled to the bone, and I couldn’t get a full on breath. I barely heard Leah’s comments. How could she just think that saying, “I’m not going to hurt you,” was going to resolve everything I’ve suffered over the past 7 plus years?! It wasn’t just the experience, it’s the nightmares, the day hallucinations of the whole experience, it’s the fact that I can’t watch any TV show that remotely mentions vampires or wolves without reliving the whole fucking thing. Yeah, okay… just because you say so after all I’ve gone through, I believe you… Let’s be BFFs! My hands and feet began to tingle because not enough oxygen was getting to them, and I was beginning to lose focus on the world.

Mike: [[ I knew it! Telling Annisa like this would be too much. If she would have found safety in Leah being restrained then there would have been a chance for this “meeting” to work. The fear Annisa has is too deeply rooted I’m at a loss of what would work to change that. Before my very eyes I can see Annia drifting into herself. I’ve just shared with her that her worst nightmare is about to come true. Leah can’t just tell Annisa  to suck it up and grow a pair that’s not going to work. Since no one believed Annisa’s story when she was first admitted no one taught Annisa how to deal with the anxiety and fear she experiences on a daily basis. She’s in a continuous fight or flight mode. I could just say fuck it and keep her so drugged she won’t be aware of any fucking thing but that defeats the purpose. I walk over to Annisa and slide down the wall to sit next to her. I find myself staring headed of me while I begin to speak.||

“ One of my best friends is married to a shifter. They have a little boy and he is the sunshine of her life. I care about Angela and the one thing I noticed right away is that her husband loves her and treats her with nothing but admiration and respect. He would never hurt Angela and he would never hurt his son. I wasn’t there and experienced the horrors you did Annisa. I didn’t see my friend murdered before my eyes. I can say this. It wasn’t the wolf that killed your friend it was the vampire. If the wolf hadn’t shown up when they did you would have died as well. I know I’m asking for a lot but I’ll keep saying it until you grasp it Annisa. You need to trust me on this.” || I reach out and take ahold of Annisa’s hand and run my thumb on the top of her hand soothingly.]]

Leah: [[ I let my head fall back against the back of the chair and my eyes look up at the ceiling. This whole plan is shot to hell. It’s obvious Annisa isn’t going to be on board with this. Maybe she is crazy but Mike is clueless. I assumed he knew how to do his job. Maybe he doesn’t. I listen as Mike goes on and on trying to plead with Annisa to trust him. He has her worst fear locked in the room with him. I doubt that is earning any of her trust. || “Mike, stop wasting your breath. We don’t have time to try and convince Annisa that I’m not a threat. Look at her...you are talking to a wall right now. She’s not hearing you. We’ll either have to scrap the plan or think of some other way.” ||

I look over at Annisa who is huddled on the floor with a far away look in her eyes and I raise a brow as I also take in the look of concern and desperation on Mike’s face. He is going through an awful lot for this patient. It makes me wonder if some of this is personal for him. ]]

Annisa: I can hear Mike’s voice, but it’s as if it’s far off in the distance. My hold on reality has completely faltered and I’ve slipped away into the confines of my own mind. Strangely though, inside the “confines” of my own thoughts, I am so much freer than anyplace in my entire world. There, I can lie on my beach, with the night’s stars watching over me, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocky coast, so close. I can feel the salt in the air, as the ocean spray flitters down to dampen my skin. It’s only there that I feel truly capable of being myself.

The warmth of Mike’s hand threatens to pull me away from my beach…  the soft touch of his thumb brushing over the top of my own hand. I fight to push the feeling away. I know what awaits me back there. Terror and mayhem and things beyond my control. My beach has none of those things. It is a world of my own creation. A place where I have full control, nothing happens there that I don’t want. Depending on my mood, sometimes it’s day, sometimes it’s night, other times it’s twilight or dawn, but no matter what, it’s always up to me. There is never anyone else there, and I like it that way. Just me and my own personal utopia.

Mike: [[ There is not reaction from Annisa at this point. Mentally she’s gone. The news of what #Zen wants has crushed her. In a way Zen is getting what he wants all this time he’s been trying to break Annisa and this may do it. I glance over at Leah and realize this is my fault. I’m the one who thought of this plan and brought Leah in here. I pushed Annisa past what she could handle and as I sit next to her I have to face the facts what we did here today failed. I need to regroup and speak to Angela. Maybe she can help me sort this out and come up with a way to get Annia to not see Leah as a threat. I sigh and continue to rub my thumb over the top of her hand. For a moment I forget Leah is in the room as I try to speak reassuringly to Annisa and hope my words are reaching her. || “ I’m sorry...if I knew this would make matters worse I wouldn’t have forced this on you. I’ll figure this out without you if I have to.” ]]

Leah: [[ “Fucking wuss. Send me back to my room. This was a waste of my time. I’m not sure if being here is even worth it anymore. What the hell is up between you and that red head? You looking all googly eyed over there.”

|| I let out a irritated sigh and shift in the chair. My thoughts are in the direction of how to do this on my own. I’m starting to think Mike and Annisa are both a lost cause.|| “ You know what? Nevermind. Just get Angela to come and pay me a visit. I need to talk to her. If she has a plan B I think now would be the time to use it. It’s clear /she/ isn’t up for the task.” ]]

#CaughtOffGuard

[kimjauhiainen]

The Nice Guys(2016): Shane Black keeps kicking ass & taking names

(I’m beginning my slow re-release of my written materials, so expect these to pop up weekly. I won’t be rewriting anything - these articles will be released as they were. This review was originally published at thesupernaughts.com on July 31st, 2016.)

The Nice Guys(2016) Written & Directed by Shane Black

Hi, after a brief summer hiatus yours truly is making a triumphant return at typing his crazy ramblings. What did I do in that hiatus, you may ask? Well, I was relaxing, reading a few books, doing all sorts of relaxing yard-work with an axe an other power-tools (in the process improving my tan from “translucent” into a “palish pink”), walking in nature and of course – watching a lot of movies (both new and olde) and bingeing one TV-show(“Stranger Things”).

It’s been a very interesting year in terms of new movies so far. I kinda feel that we have come upon something of a transformative year in the Huge Summer Blockbuster-type of films. Now – I have not seen nearly all of them so I can’t make any declaration of did some of them deserve their fates or not – but it seems that tides are definitely turning. I mean, a LOT of these major summer releases have just completely tanked at the box-office (“Independence Day: Resurgence”, “The BFG”, “The Legend of Tarzan”, “Ghostbusters”, “Star Trek Beyond”…even “Ice Age 5” clearly underperformed), and even some of those which actually MADE money have been of varying quality (the fact that “Batman V. Superman” and “X-Men: Apocalypse” made a lot of cash does not erase the fact that they are NOT good pictures!).

As a kinda “middle-ish year look-back”, I’m gonna give my current TOP-list of the best new movies I’ve seen this year:

Zootopia

Deadpool

The Conjuring 2

10 Cloverfield Lane

(Captain America: Civil War was right up there, but to be all honest; while it was definitely the 2nd best superhero-movie of the year, it just wasn’t as good as The Winter Soldier)

Why only Top 4? Because I finally saw one movie that is going to make it a Top 5, that’s why. The one I’m talking about is of course Shane Black’s (“Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”, “Iron Man 3”) new movie “The Nice Guys“, written and directed by the man himself and produced by the legendary Joel Silver (Google it up – too many titles to write up here) under his Silver Pictures banner. Silver and Black go waaaaaay back, of course, because it was really Silver who made Black such a writer superstar back in the 80’s after he bought Black’s “Lethal Weapon“-script for $250,000, which then led to even bigger paydays from “The Last Boy Scout“($1,750,000), “Last Action Hero“($1,000,000) and “The Long Kiss Goodnight“(the record-breaking $4,000,000). But – as much money he made from those projects, Black has always been very clear that every single one of those projects – even “Lethal Weapon” – went through several rewrites by other writers before/during the productions, and while SOME of his initial vision & dialogue is still there to be seen/heard, about as much (or even more) always went into the trash bin. So after “The Long Kiss Goodnight“, he kinda got burned by the Hollywood-machine and disappeared from the radar.

It was only when he got that coveted chance to do what everyone truly REALLY wants – to direct as well as write – that he made his triumphant return with the 2005 film “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” (again, produced by Silver). That film was like a breath of fresh air – a pure, uncompromised Shane Black-story. And it was not only a comeback for him; it was also a comeback for Robert Downey jr., who had pretty much spent the 90’s and early 2000’s in-between drug-busts, rehab, more drug-busts and prison-terms. Naturally, as seems to be the case with all the really good movies, it flopped at the box-office. But the critics and the peers in the industry sure loved it, as did the most devoted fans. And it has had a pretty lucrative afterlife; after this movie, Downey hit the jackpot with the Marvel Studios and the “Iron Man“-series and when it was time to make a third film (after the much-maligned second film), he called out for his buddy Black to write and direct it. And the rest was history. “Iron Man 3” is currently at the 10th spot of the highest-grossing films of all time and in my books, in the Top 3 of the Marvel movies. Sure – it polarized the audiences a bit by going with some unconventional story choices. But here’s the thing I learned – especially after watching “The Nice Guys“:

In his craft, Shane Black really is ALL about unconventional story choices.

The story of “The Nice Guys” is – on the surface – pretty much a traditional Film Noir-fare:

It’s 1977 in Los Angeles. A known pornstar by the name of Misty Mountains dies in a car accident. A few days later her aunt(Lois Smith) hires a hapless private detective named Holland March(Ryan Gosling) to find Misty, because she believes she has seen Misty moving around in her apartment AFTER her reported death. And as has been shown to us earlier, March is not above investigating cases for a good payday even if he already knows the outcome (as witnessed & showed in the trailers by the case of the widower whose husband has been missing since his funeral). What we also learn is that March is a burnout as well as borderline alcoholic – following his wife’s death a few years earlier, and is desperately trying to keep the pieces of his life together as well as take care of his daughter Holly(Angourie Rice). And EVEN Holly – who is quickly shown as being the one in the family with some actual brains – labels March as “the world’s worst detective”…

Anyhoo – pretty soon March crosses paths with a muscle-for-hire/aspiring private eye/the guy with some anger-issues named Jackson Healy(Russell Crowe), who – in the case of mistaken identity – actually breaks Mach’s arm (talk about first impressions!). But never mind about who broke who’s arm – pretty soon the two discover that they are actually working the same weird case, which now has several different parties searching for the same girl, Amelia Kutner(Margaret Qualley) – who may or may not know something about the shady conditions under which Misty allegedly died: there’s a duo of enforcers called Blue Face(Beau Knapp, named after a color-pack explodes on his face after he digs through a bag of money he shouldn’t have) and Keith David(no point with character names: it’s Keith Motherfucking David and that’s all you need to know – even in the credits he’s just “The Older Guy”), as well as a highly efficient hitman named John Boy(Matt Bomer) and Amelia’s mother Judith(Kim Basinger) who works at the Department of Justice.

The plot circles into a deep maze of Detroit Auto industry, corruption, environmental activists and a McGuffin in the shape of a film-can containing an “arty” porn-film that’s actually a big protest against the industrial pollution of the atmosphere, but it’s actually not that important because the main focus of the film really is all these fucked-up characters and the crazy fucked-up situations they get pulled in(as a rough example: it’s sort of like all the Darin Morgan-written “X-Files”-episodes). From the earliest scenes it’s very evident that we are witnessing the birth of yet another legendary Shane Black buddy-team. There was Murtaugh and Riggs, Hallenbeck and Dix, Baltimore and Hennessy, Harry and Perry – and to a degree also Tony and Rhodey. Now there’s March and Healy.

But; I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s talk about the overall impression of the film first.

If “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” was still Black sort of finding his own directorial voice and “Iron Man 3” was him getting back to the big-budget filmmaking and playing with the big expensive toys, “The Nice Guys” is the first 100% pure, unlimited Shane Black-film. It is very clear that he is something of an encyclopedia of film, as well as all the classic film-cliches. And he seems pretty much hell-bent on taking a piss on all of those cliches and giving them a completely new spin, sometimes veering into total parody (his take on the old “throwing a gun to the other guy”-gag as well as a background gag of March swimming after a mermaid in a windowed pool are almost Zucker/Abrams/Zucker-territory – and then theres a bit involving falling asleep at the wheel which goes right into a “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas”-territory). I guess the proper genre-tag (if anyone cares of such labeling) of this film would be a “period detective noir parody“. Setting the film in the 70’s and all the outrageous excess and sleaziness of that period seems to have freed Black to just go completely head-on in the realm of the ridiculous.

Having a great score by John Ottman & David Buckley as well as a kick-ass selection of the groovy tunes of the 70’s also helps. He doesn’t go as far (some would claim “too far”) as some filmmakers would have done and made the film in the style of the 70’s movies (film grain, jump cuts, kung-fu zooms etc.), but instead uses the most modern filmmaking tools available and directs with such an economical confidence of frame that it’s a marvel(see what I did there?) to watch. He NEVER makes the visuals take control of the scenes – it’s all about the dialogue. And the characters.

And boy does he let those characters play. I imagine there must be hours and hours worth of ad-libs and alternate takes from this movie, as Gosling and Crowe just keep stealing moment after moment. This will go down in history as one of the great comedic double acts. Frankly, I was VERY surprised that Ryan Gosling was this good at comedy. Both verbal and physical comedy. Pretty much nothing he has done before has given any hints to the things he pulls off in this movie. To be totally honest, I’d put him up for a Golden Globe for the “Best Performance in a Comedy” right now – accept no substitutes. He embraces the complete ineptitude, clumsiness and the idiocy of his character in a way that the closest possible comparison is probably Kevin Kline in “A Fish Called Wanda“. And he has perfect counterbalances with Crowe – who I thought from the trailers was just sort of parodying his character in “LA Confidential“, but is in fact sort of playing on his much-publicized real life tough-guy persona but adding a level of warmness and cuddly-bear type likability to it (to be fair, I have always known that Crowe CAN be funny – there are behind-the-scenes bits from over the years that have shown that over and over again. But this really is the first time that persona has been put on screen properly) – and Rice, who is clearly the more capable one of the Marches and something of a spiritual successor of Danielle Harris‘ Darian in “The Last Boy Scout“. You could say that these characters are a triumvirate that makes for one pretty good detective: March’s power is Dumb Luck (and apparent indestructability), Healys is Strength and Holly’s is Intelligence. And all the other players also get their chance to shine in the movie as well; with the small exception of Kim Basinger, who doesn’t really get all that much to do – and this might be the only little tiny scratch in the movies armor. Maybe her character was just a little TOO straight-faced in opposite of these crazy guys playing against her and could have used a little bit more character quirks or something, I don’t know.

All in all, “The Nice Guys” is a hell of a lot of fun and will no doubt get a lot of rewatches and re-evaluation (is it just me, or is that opening shot from behind the graffitied-up and decaying Hollywood-sign a slight nod to “Demolition Man”- also from Joel Silver?) as the year comes to a close. I know yours truly will watch the hell out of it again. and again. After all, rewatchability is a big issue when I decide on the greatness of a movie. This one makes me want a new Shane Black-movie every year from now on – and as he’s already deep in the production on both “The Predator” and “Doc Savage“, things are looking good. And hell – let’s make some silent (or not so silent) wishes for maybe a “The Nicer Guys” somewhere down the line.