#like... this is a normal human emotion whether you are upset at big things or small
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katyspersonal · 2 years ago
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(Vent)
I find myself so conflicted. There are just... so many things I want to talk about. I want to talk about how infuriating it is that “feminists” fought so hard to claim that all women deserve respect - only to end up demonizing female beauty and fit-ness as a concept for being “cishet male bait”, or hate feminine characters in general unless they can get indulgence for being lesbians or trans women. How annoying it is that woke clout chasers run around slapping ‘comphet’ and ‘lesbophobia’ stickers on everything when people are righteously unhappy with bi erasure - would those people be content if someone “erased” a lesbian character saying she was just bi all along but convinced herself to be a lesbian out of hating men? BOTH can play this game, lil’ shit. How people come and have a go like ‘but we all are fighting the SAME battle against CIS WHITE MEN’ that makes me feel cringe for being a woman and thus dragged into this “opression” game against my will, I want to wash my gender away like dirt to not be associated with this madness - but when I step away too far I inevitably find legitimate incels that hate women like feminists hate men. When did I crossed the line where chased down stray dogs ended and true wolves started? Where can I hide?
But it is certainly not in my head. And I want to NOT want to talk about any of this, I just wonder - did it really have to get like this? Becoming so tangled with internet and fandoms? Well... I’ve ALWAYS been just an autistic kid more interested in fiction than reality, so maybe my fate is just written by how my brain is built, heh. But there is just boiling anger that I sometimes struggle to contain, it ends up feeling like I am a dragon that simply tried to make a deep sigh - and bam, accidentally everything around got ignited. After this I feel like I did something wrong - despite ‘ranting about things you dislike’ is such a relevant thing that some Youtubers make it their BRAND and get hella followers! But I just feel like now everything ignites, and I should extinguish the coals with memes, reblogged pretty arts, jokes and ‘happy thoughts’. But ‘touch the grass’ or not, but the frustration is always here somewhere, like a permanently smoking volcano. I know rants are okay, but it always feels like after I only BARELY open up about my perpetual annoyance - people already get scared. So what would they think of me if I lost ALL inhibitors and just got it ALL out?
I just want to believe that out there there is a hater (affectionate) so furious that I am no match to them, and me ranting to them will feel like barely a complaint, let alone rant. And it will feel greeeeeeat for a while, because this anger will be out of my mind.
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beepen · 2 years ago
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Love Something With you
Been a while since I posted on this blog but ghostsoap has me exhuming it from its grave.
I will probably add to this because I have an idea what kind of pet they should get....but this is what I was able to finish before the Benadryl kicked in.
Anyway, here is domestic ghostsoap. Go hog wild.
**********
Relationships meant compromise. This is a moto Soap repeats to himself often, like a mantra. He repeats it to Simon as well, a subtle knock to the head saying “work with me here”. It is probably brought up an abnormal amount of times compared to normal couples, but nothing about this—their relationship—is normal. Things have to be slow; things have to be repeated and thought about. It helps them heal. Not the bad parts, but some parts. The smaller cracks encircling holes in a wall, like streams protruding from a lake. 
Emotional vulnerability is another one, but that’s slow-going, on Simon’s part at least. He’s trying, Soap can tell by the way he doesn’t stiffen when he is hugged from behind at the kitchen counter, or how he doesn’t jerk his hand back when Soap reaches to hold it. He can communicate when he doesn’t like something, when something irritates him. When it comes to feeling upset in other ways, not so much, but the attempt is there in his body language. 
It is that same body language that Soap has to go off of when he asks Simon about adopting a dog. 
The morning was a blue one, too early to be orange and sunny but late enough that when Soap opened his eyes, he could see the corners of their room just fine. No shadows. Simon was sleeping soundly beside him, the scarred expanse of his back facing him as he was curled on his side. The devil sleeping like an angel. Soap wanted to reach out and touch him, smooth his hand across those wide ribs and wrap an arm around that chest. He rolled out of bed instead, quietly walked out of the room, and made breakfast while Simon slept on. He was rewarded by a sleepy Simon joining him 40 minutes later, hair tousled and bleary eyes half open. 
“What do you think of dogs?” Soap asked once Simon had a cup of tea in his hands. The man shrugged his big shoulders, sipping his drink. He had been rather mute since waking up, typical after a night of intense love-making. Something about processing his feelings, about Soap being too much—not in a bad way, but just. Overwhelming. Too much love, is what Simon managed to grumble out one day. Soap would be lying if he said it didn’t boost his ego, that he could fuck the Ghost into quietude. Quite literally render him speechless for a night and half a day. 
The consequence is coaxing him back out into a normal human being again. A Ghost kind of normal. 
“I was thinking,” Soap continued, finishing off his own coffee, ���that we could adopt one.” 
And that was when Simon’s body language changed. Soap watched as everything about him just…tightened. His hands, the muscles of his arms and shoulders. A tick in his jaw, like he was clenching his teeth. The change was so sudden it had Soap scrambling to figure out what was so wrong about the question. 
“Or not,” he quickly added. “Just a thought.”
It was a thought Simon clearly did not want to think about. He was still so tense despite the backpedaling, silent and brooding, but not in the typical endearing way that first caught Soap’s attention all those years ago, and still does. 
Soap reached forward, recognizing the disturbed, restrained horror on Simon’s face for what it was, and held his hand out with his palms facing upward. Not taking anything, not forcing anything, but leaving the space between them open and questioning. After a long, long few seconds, Simon placed his own hand over Soap’s. 
Soap only squeezed back when Simon did so first, warmth spreading up his arm, like the sun was nestled between their entwined hands.
“Sorry,” Soap started, but stopped when Simon squeezed harder. 
“No,” Simon said, voice quiet and raspy, whether from last night or the sudden stress. Maybe both. “You want a dog?” 
Soap didn’t answer at first, only waited for Simon to look up from where he was staring at their hands. When he did, they locked eyes, and Soap saw the struggle in a swirl of dark brown. A slight twinge between Simon’s eyebrows. Compromise, compromise, compromise. Simon was trying so hard. 
Finally, Soap said, “Only if you want one,” and that seemed to alleviate whatever kind of stress that had Simon bound so tight. 
“I don’t.” A simple two-word sentence, but an effort to get out. 
Soap smiled. “Then we won’t.”
He reached with his other hand so Simon’s was snug between both of his own. No hard feelings. No big deal. And, thank you. For not just saying no, but for thinking about it, for almost saying yes if Soap had really, really wanted one.
Simon exhaled and took another sip of his tea. 
Later, Soap drew from his memory a portrait of a very groggy and sleepy Simon. 
**********
Now, two nights after that conversation, Simon is turning in bed to face him, something intense in his eyes. Soap feels the electricity immediately and closes his sketchbook, all eyes and ears. 
“You want a pet.” Simon says, matter of fact. Like he’s just realized. Soap can’t help the laugh, can’t help that he shuffles closer until they are almost nose to nose, giving Simon his biggest grin. 
“Already have one,” he whispers, and he knows it’s silly, worthy of Ghost’s famous eye-roll. Simon surprises him by throwing him a glare instead, a soft one. 
“Fuck off,” he almost growls. “Do you want one or not.” 
Soap hums, staring and staring into those brown, almost-black eyes, taking in the rumble lying deep within them like he is taking a huge gulp of air. Like he needs those eyes on him always, or else he’ll stop breathing. 
“Dinnae have to be so rude about it,” he says, voice still a low whisper. His fingers move on their own volition, sliding up Simon’s side. Would have made it to that divine chest if a hand didn’t wrap around his wrist and stop him. 
“Johnny.” 
Soap pouts at the warning, almost whines, but retreats anyway. Not too far, though. He still wants to be close—so close. Wants to crawl inside his ribcage and stay there forever. This will do—this warm space between them, breath mingling together. 
“Like I said before,” he starts, smiles when Simon’s gaze darts to his lips then back up again, “Only if you want one.” 
Simon grunts, like he’s displeased with that answer. “That was a dog. What about a pet, in general?” 
Soap shrugs with one shoulder. “Meant it the same. Dog, pet. Dinnae want one unless you do.” 
Simon is quiet then, eyes still locked on Soap’s, searching. He moves from one eye to the other, once, twice, three times, like he isn’t satisfied with what he sees in either of them. Soap feels he should be offended, but Simon doesn’t give him much time to dwell under the scrutiny. He moves, slow and soft and hushed, in a way Soap has only seen a handful of times, maybe less. The bed doesn’t make a sound, there is only a slight rustle of clothes and sheets. And then Simon is on top of him.
The Ghost is looming over him. It is so quick and quiet that if Soap were asleep, Ghost could slit his throat and he’d be none the wiser. 
A hand rests on his jaw, and Soap’s breath hitches in time with a skip in his heartbeat. He keens when lips press against his, an embarrassing whine expelling from his throat. Simon swallows it, swallows all of him until Soap is dizzy. 
“Tell me the truth,” Simon mumbles against his lips. Do you want a pet?
God yes, did Soap want a pet. Something to take care of with Simon. To see Simon take care of something.
It’s funny; he adores Simon so much, with everything he’s got, that it shouldn’t be possible to have any more love left to give. But loving Simon has, somehow, awakened his ability to love even more. He has so much to share, and he wants to share it with Simon. He wants to love Simon, and love with him. 
But he doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he says, “I want a pet. Really bad.” He hopes Simon can read between the lines. 
“Okay,” is all Simon says before he kisses him again. And again. And again and again and again until he’s kissing streaks of fire all the way down his cheek and jaw and burying his face in Soap’s neck. Soap is in the clouds, feeling like he has to scream but bottles it up and chucks it far, far away. This moment has to be silent. He doesn’t want to scare away this rare gift Simon is giving him.
He manages a soft, “But no dogs?”, quite a feat when Simon’s hands are on his hips now and his lips hot on his skin. He is everywhere, their bodies pressed so close. 
“No dogs.”
“Will you tell me why?”
Simon pauses, mouth still pressed wetly against Soap’s neck. No kisses, just a touch. Then he mumbles against his skin, and the vibrations travel everywhere, “Maybe one day.”
Soap is okay with that. 
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theloverscardtarot · 5 months ago
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I know you may not be willing to post this take but here goes. Woulda sent to Shamrock too but they must block unfollowers since I can’t send an ask. I have never been ‘’into’’ tarot but I will say I enjoyed the OG blog and for quite a while I did follow the more recent versions of accounts that posted Evan tarot content. And TBH I can say I never saw anything that I found ‘’problematic’’ – yes, I will admit some things were a bit less realistic than others but as far as I’m concerned it was in good fun and not something meant to be taken as an agenda of the OP. But as soon as Evan and Natlie showed that they were more than a one night stand, ya’ll lost the plot. Whether you mean to or not you are basically catering to the Rosa’s of the fandom and feeding into mental illness which is this obsessive nature of knowing about what they’re doing, feeling, whether they’ll be ‘’soulmates’’ eternally and that sort of shtick. You can’t say you’re not aware because I feel like multiple people have mentioned this to blogs including me, as a warning like ‘hey, not sure if you’ve realized but one of the most problematic people in the fandom is the one girl always in your ask box’. Those of us who have been in the fandom for a while know how Rosa types and can tell it’s her, it’s no secret. Multiple people sent it to them and also to Tweam. That’s why we’ve ‘turned’ on ya’ll, not because we hate you. I hate what this situation has become and who you’re feeding into with the obsessive posting. I don’t believe anyone deserves hate, trust me, but what I mean is you got to do better and be mindful of it all. There can be real consequences to playing with these unrealistic people emotions who want to know about E+N because they’re upset over the relationship. And even if you don’t post this at least you cannot honestly say someone didn’t try and talk sense into the situation because I liked you and Tweam and every other Evan fanpage that is normal and doesn’t stir the pot. Also you need to think about how you’d feel if strangers were constantly rooting against you and posting negativity day after day after day. Evan is human too, remember that. Anywho that’s off my chest now. Peace.
Hi anon. I absolutely understand where you are coming from. But, what I would like to say is that we are not intentionally trying to get Rosa and the others excited so they can do what they do. And we are also not rooting against Evan and Natalie. if the readings were actually read by you and other people, you would see that we always say we are not against anybody. The cards might be, but I always try to look for the good. Shamrock and Admin both have their disclaimers in big giant print saying to take tarot with a grain of salt and it's just for fun. I highlight in red that I don't know anybody, I just started reading and this is just what it is. I am not an OG reader and this is very new to me. So, it doea blow my mind when some of the same cards come up for all of us. Miles and countries away. If you don't believe in it, that is completely fine. No shade here.
Now, I understand that Rosa, Jackie, etc. all have tendencies. But they had tendencies before this blog, during this blog ,after this blog. Rosa posted an actual address of where Natalie was staying. She didn't get that info from any of us. She has plenty of platforms to get actual information from. I'm also not sitting here saying Natalie is a bad person. Actually I posted a reading on her that was very nice. We never say they are the end all, be all or not. Everything going on is something that can be worked out. Only they know what needs to be done. I've seen the Tumblr pages out there hating on Natalie and I don't condone that at all. In fact if you or TWEAM or whomever actually read anything on here, you would see we NEVER intentionally hate on Natalie. The cards say what they say and we are not joining forces to make shit up and "cherry pick" By the way, I see everything on TWEAMS page, blocked or not. Rosa ain't the only one with a burner account. As for Evan being a human. Yep, last I checked he was a human. He is not visiting Tumblr. That man doesn't touch social media with a 1,000 foot pole. Evan is more than capable of taking care of himself. If he or anybody he knows doesn't want to read these pages, they don't have to. Neither do you. 🤷 Listen, I understand your concern, but at the end of the day, people are going to do what they do despite a tarot blog. You are trying to do damage control on Tumblr where most everybody is anonymous and half the people are on here cause they are bored. I mean, me included. If I didn't have Tumblr tomorrow I would not cry about it. In the grand scheme of life, Tumblr is not the holy Grail. I don't believe your intention was to scare me or be unkind. But, what I can say is the asks don't scare me. This is a modicum of my life. I have deleted several posts because they were straight up Rosa hating on Natalie. If I posted anything of hers, I'm always clear that I won't tolerate the hate. I don't think you all "hate" us. But, for all the posts stating there's no tolerance of it over there, I'm still seeing a lot of it allowed. That being said, I respect your opinion. I have no harsh feelings towards anyone. Come to my blog or don't. Ask me anything. The only thing I won't tolerate is hate.
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foxyverserambles · 9 months ago
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Ori, Elly n Zhn rambles
CW: Buncha stuff honestly. Mentions of death/killing/poisoning idk In general this is about the edgiest thing I've written in a WHILE and I am unapologetic about it.
So like.
CW: Cringe.
Zhn met Oriana when she was already really deep into the brainwashing, to the point where she'd drink poison without flinching.
The point of the poison was numbing people's emotions on the job, Ori's dose was especially big because she's very emotional and also she had to literally kill people on the fly so they couldn't afford her hesitating.
Except uh. Ori's magic handling? Bad. This is both for her using magic and people using magic on her. Especially when it came to her mind. They gave her a dose that was way too high so Oriana was very much losing herself.
Supposedly they gave antidotes to people after missions but with Oriana being the only human and frankly them not caring, it absolutely wasn't enough.
Zhn, whose doses of poison was much smaller (and frankly, too small to even have an effect on him), started giving her his dose of antidote. It wasn't enough to undo the effects but it was a start.
Being the only dragon and human, they were both outcast. Zhn convinced Ori they should watch each other's backs because of this. Ori had been told she was below everyone else and even if Zhn was "just a dragon", he was part of "everyone else". So she agreed.
Still, being treated with humanely was a nice change of pace that helped Ori regain some of her. Well. Humanity.
Elly's not very relevant in their story, but considering Ori was, according to everyone, Elly's pet. She uh. Was "let know" Zhn was socializing "too much" with Ori.
Elly was very much against Ori being referred as anyone's pet but she knew it was for her safety (Mostly because Anastasia's a freak, more on that some other time). So she started "watching over" Ori and Zhn, which resulted in her growing close to the dragon.
They weren't friends.
But compared to everyone else... their company was almost pleasant.
How did Zhn fall for Ori? How could he not?
So bright, in both personality and intellect, even while treated as a mere pet and deprived of her senses for hours on end, letting her thoughts wear on her. She gives her whole self to everything she does, even if it puts her at risk. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She covers her mouth when she laughs, she puffs one cheek when she's upset. She sings songs from another world, shrugging off their meaning, as she walks around town pretending to lead a normal life. Kind without a hint of hypocrisy, beyond the regret of the cards she's been dealt.
She stares at the stars for way too long and sometimes for only a second he can see life in those empty eyes.
How could he not want to bring life back to them? Whether he loved her or not, she deserved better than this hell.
Ori initially responding "Me too" to Zhn's "I love you" because she thought he was just joking.
He loved that about her too.
It was awkward. And almost a bit too upsetting.
Zhn went into this knowing he'd be rejected but hearing Oriana so easily dismiss her value as a person, her deserving of love, was enough to drive him to find a way to get her away from the mill.
Well.
We all know how that went.
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cwarscars · 1 year ago
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@ubcs asked ; [ continuation of this ask ]
DEAR READER. what is a piece of advice your character would give to a loved one. is this advice they follow themselves?
be proud, be strong, be brave.
heidegger would advocate for someone to be proud of who they are and fierce with it. this is a man who admires strength and enjoys a challenge. he likes the bold & the brave. whether they're an enemy or not - he enjoys people who are willing to stand up for themselves.
it's one of the reasons why he's such a prick to his soldiers - they're all weak. none of them challenge him, none dare get fierce or firm or brave and to heidegger - that sickens him. take his interaction with barret as an example - barret snaps back, takes the piss and heidegger smiles. he loves it. he's obviously entertained by somebody willing to fight back & appreciates power. so, i think if he were to give advice - it would be advice that tells people to be strong. no matter their adversaries.
HITS DIFFERENT. what is something that deeply resonates with your character? it could be a song, a quote, a piece of art, or any other form of inspiration.
oh no, not this question. *whips out my war movies* slngslkdngsd. honestly, the quotes i use in my pinned / blog / promo are big inspirations for me. respectively, from platoon & apocalypse now.
the platoon quote is by sgt barnes - a guy who is /just/ like heidegger. fierce, in charge. kind of an underhanded prick who aims to get the job done and is straight-up brutal. he says -
Now, I got no fight with any man who does what he’s told, but when he don’t, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain’t gonna allow that in any of you. Not one.
this quote - to me - sums up what heidegger is all about. it's that genuine idea of doing right by oneself and morals / company. like, it's that idea that suggests anyone not 'for' the actions in question - are 'against' them. it's the suggestion that heidegger isn't a man who sees himself as a villain. he sees himself as genuinely in the right.
the other quote is from apocalypse now & is from col kurtz, who really, is quite an opposite character to someone like heid -
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare: crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor and surviving.
horrifying imagery aside - i love this quote. i love everything about it. to me - it symbolises the mundanity / willingness of going towards ones death. blindly moving through inevitability - the snail is moving along the thing that's killing it; no emotion, no reaction. it just keeps going. it's his dream, because the snail doesn't give a single solitary fuck. it's his nightmare because it's horrifying. it's upsetting. the thought of willingly dying for nothing - of accepting ones death so easily? is that brave or stupid? sadness or truly being content? to have no fear of death - is that admirable? to be so brave as to blindly march toward it? is that stupid?
i relate it to heidegger because although i see him as this pigheaded, arrogant man. i also see him as somebody who has been through hell. he has seen more bloodshed than a normal human could process - he's made both a friend and enemy of death. i feel so passionatly about his inner thoughts and feelings regarding death. he is, as the meme says, both sickened and curious by death.
YOU’RE LOSING ME. has your character ever felt disconnected from their emotions or struggled to maintain relationships? how do they handle these challenges?
yes. 1000%. aside from the previously mentioned things regarding his trauma as a young man / losing his wife & kids ( when they decided to leave him ). i essentially write his before crisis self as a man in just one big alienating spiral.
in truth - i never played before crisis. i read all about it and i watched heidegger's segments but they're very brief. he is terrible and screws around with the turks & almost gets president shinra killed. so, i started headcanoning that - with this being so soon since he came back from the front line of wutai - that he'd become an alcoholic and that drinking on the job, wasn't uncommon.
the way i write him during this time is someone who is just entirely out of touch. he's drunk 90% of the time and has alienated a lot of people who may have once even liked him. his relationship with everybody sours during this time & once again, shinra has to save him from himself. ( shinra constantly saves him because heidegger is useful to him ). i think the disconnect during this time was huge because -
he'd lost everything.
he could no longer fight. a bloodknight - deprived of battle! he no longer had his daughters to dote on, or his wife to cheat on ( ouch ). he was just rendered another public figure. a man with medals and pride, sure but - what else? he'd go home to a lonely house. he'd drink to stave off nightmares.
during this time, he was at his possibly most disconnected as an older man. and, in truth, he only got lonelier.
but heidegger being heidegger, he turned that loneliness into pure hatred & anger.
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xo-raven · 4 months ago
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xo - On “incessant involuntary thinking”
when thoughts come,
did u make them happen?
did u want them?
did u create them?
if u answered no to any of these questions,
it is not a bad thing
it is totally normal
u are not alone
including w/ dark or violent “intrusive” thoughts.
these thoughts are not always intrusive,
sometimes they are simple observations,
when they happen consistently though,
hours and hours of these simple observations
incessantly being “read” to u in ur own head,
in that familiar ‘thinking’ voice,
which isn’t ur own internal voice,
becomes mentally exhausting.
its almost like having an annoying friend,
stuck in your head.
not an actual person of course,
just the ‘familiarity’ of a friend.
like ur own mind constantly ‘telling u things’,
which u the consciousness already observed,
and maybe already took note of,
but ur mind still ‘tells u what it is’.
that is what im talking about.
when u can shut that off,
u have much more control over ur mind
and what YOU want to think about.
to do this, here is what i did:
note each time a thought is announced to u
identify what the thoughts are about
the emotional energy they may hold
consider the root cause of the thoughts
ask urself why the thoughts occurred
slowly u can get that “familiar voice”
that’s constantly “talking to u” to turn off entirely.
if i remember correctly,
this may be related to
a part of the brain that is overactive
due to how the majority of ppl have evolved.
especially the last 30-50 years
taking the internet into consideration.
stuck in bad + unwanted jobs
constantly stressed out by world events
media reports constant negativity
what i remember for sure is this:
it’s rooted in constant stress.
if u are in a negative environment consistently,
whether it be
toxic household
draining friends
overbearing job
consuming negative energy
the negativity does affect u.
whether u want to pretend it doesn’t,
does not matter.
it does affect u +
u need to take care of ur internal self.
nobody else can take care of u
the way u can take care of u:
mentally
physically
emotionally
spiritually
sexually
because here’s the thing darling:
u have urself for ur ENTIRE LIFE.
nobody else will be with u as much as u will.
it is one “harsh truth” of human existence.
this is why its extremely important to practice
taking care of urself in each way u need.
only YOU know ur actual needs.
because incessant thinking is also tied to
how u treat yourself.
if u don’t take care of ur mind and body,
who else will?
u have to take care of urself for u, first.
u cannot keep waiting on someone else to.
otherwise u will always be dependent on others.
when u become self sufficient internally,
u can become self sufficient externally as well.
so,
regardless of whether u never communicate
those ‘real needs’ to anyone,
yet still behaviorally communicate
seeking ur needs in other people.
they ‘need’ (haha) to be taken care of.
u know what im talking about <3
compliments
words of affection
validation
affirmation
positive reinforcement
seeking these from others
is a very difficult habit to break
and it won’t stop overnight but
if u make the effort to:
stop validation seeking behavior
tend to ur needs internally/externally
being patient + kind with urself
u will feel much less “weight” from just living life.
u need to take note of everything that causes
stress
anxiety
fear
any other negative/unwanted emotions
ask urself if the emotional weight of those things
actually matches the importance as u see it
for example:
my dog peed on the floor
i felt very upset with him at the time.
but in the grand scheme of things,
it’s not such a big deal that i should
allow that emotion to affect me over time.
i take note that i’m upset,
ask myself why,
and identify that its “emotional importance”
is too low to let it continue bothering me.
i cleaned the mess
acknowledged not letting him walk outside long enough that day
moved on with my day
does this make sense?
im not talking about the mistake making.
im talking about the residual thoughts
that would have stemmed from the first emotion
which was sparked by the “event” i observed.
with clarity:
i was upset
other thoughts would have spawned from being upset
i decided the anger i felt was excessive
no extra thoughts
those extra thoughts are what keep the mind
constantly going on and on forever.
once u learn to:
detach urself from the “problems”
acknowledge ur mind always wants problems
recognize emotions can’t control u
note what u can learn from each interaction
u can start trimming down how much ur mind
constantly tells u things u already know.
this will:
free up mental real estate
focus on more important things
allow you to think more clearly
allow you to think about whatever u want
xo <3
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I think we got our wires crossed and we actually strongly agree? Like yes: from a Doylist perspective both James Bond and Murderbot should be at perfect liberty to hug the people they rescue. It's really fucked up that a character like James Bond has a markedly narrow range of the human experience available to him. The fact that our popular fiction views a protagonist as more manly if he can shoot a gun real good but less manly if he platonically embraces his traumatized loved ones in their hour of great need is absolutely downright obscene!! I long for a world where James Bond can give and receive hugs freely (and, to use your example, where linebackers can rock a nice sundress, but that is a digression). what the hell does that say about what we think it means to be a man? How are our idiotic stigmas against men acting as nurturers holding us back as a society - and in what specific ways do we disregard emotional first aid as a crucial part of emergency response?
For example, once i had the awful experience of discovering a dead body at work. (I did not work in a field where that was normal. It was a totally chance thing, I had an office job in food distribution.) I called 911 and the first responders were on the scene for 30 minutes before any of the ten of them there asked me 'oh, hey, are you okay?' I'm sure they were just following their training and they had to secure the scene and determine there was nothing they could do for the victim, but it's odd, right? I was interviewed by the cops twice before a paramedic asked if i was alright while i sat on the hood of my car and cried my heart out for this departed stranger and his bereaved family and waited to be told i was allowed to leave. This was somewhere with "progressive" policing fwiw, but it wasn't progressive enough that they felt the need to acknowledge my visible distress out loud as long as i was coherent enough to answer their questions about whether or not the lights had been on when i got to the building. I'm not sure I would have wanted a hug from a paramedic I just met, but years later, it still just feels so odd that there would be so many trained pros swarming on the scene (then standing around with nothing to do since the patient was deceased) and no one thought to even verbally acknowledge that i was really badly scared and upset after witnessing a deeply disturbing sight, for more than half an hour. (Speaking of the curative properties of hugs, when the cops moved their squad car out of the driveway and let me out, the first thing i did was go find my work bestie and gratefully accept a nice solid hug from her and you know what? It made me feel wayyyy better!)
This is obviously just one experience and my ancedote pretty far afield from what we were discussing, but i guess my point is, i just wonder if an overly rigid, performatively macho approach to emergency response actually inhibits a more compassionate mindset that would be markedly more effective but force (largely male) first responders to demonstrate more emotional awareness, which is hard to contemplate because then protocol would be less like what the action heroes do on TV. (EMTs and firefighter MBD fans, please weigh in: is that experience I had normal? Are you coached to provide any emotional support to traumatized people you encounter when the physical danger is passed? If it's not in your training, do you think that would be worthwhile to add, or is there a good reason not to do that?)
Where I find comedy in all this is 1) it would be really jarring to watch a cyborg bodyguard shoot lasers from its arms and then have it give you a big hug, especially if you didn't expect it, and 2) it's got to be SO awkward to receive a hug from a person who clearly dislikes hugging you, just like socially, 3) the idea of the company instructing SecUnits to give hugs but also not engineering then to find the hugging experience as enjoyable or even neutral is so! weird! Why did they do that! How did they do that! Humans are primates with big brains and small teeth - by and large, our neural tissues are hardwired to pump out happy brain chemicals and bonding hormones during affectionate touch! How the fuck did the company circumvent all that? And why ?? it's so wonderfully telling that Murderbot has such complicated feelings about the whole thing. And finally, the idea of the company having to orient new clients to the idea that 'yes we created a amalgam of flesh and machine that will kill people and slay monsters for you and it will hug you when you're scared but don't worry, it won't like it at all. Okay, onto your insurance coverage'... idk it just tickles me in the absurdist black comedy satire of it all.
Anyway i appreciate you hearing me out and i think we agree more than we differ
This is a SecUnit. It is a cyborg bodyguard with lasers that shoot out of its arms. It has been programmed to cuddle with you after you have suffered a traumatic incident once it is safe to do so. This is for your benefit as it can prevent severe shock. No, the cyborg gunman does not particularly enjoy this duty. Yes, it is super weird.
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soulmate-game · 3 years ago
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Daughter of wonderwoman au where marinette finds out her mother is actually Diana and somehow it ends up with her meeting/being introduced to the batfam maybe because she has super strength and is seen yeeting some bad guys who tried to mug her... Or something.
“... you are running from your problems, Mari,” Adrien’s exasperated voice reminded his best friend. Again. She ignored him, and he threw his hands up in exasperation. “Look, you don’t have to do anything about it! Nobody would hold it against you if you decided to just, ignore that you found anything out at all. But you need to actually think about what we just found out and decide whether or not you’re gonna do anything—“ he side-stepped a piece of trash that went flying in his direction. “—or if you’re gonna move on and pretend nothing happened.”
“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” Marinette shot back, pushing her bangs out of her face and tying her hair back with one hand.
“No, you’re currently hiding away in Gotham to avoid your parents while you beat up every random group of idiots who thinks you’re an easy mark,” he retorted. Another wannabe kidnapper went flying in his direction, making him sigh and side step again. She had thrown that one with only her one free hand, showing just how upset she was. “You’re ignoring everything in your life, which is not what we meant we said you should get a little space.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Marinette dropkicked the last criminal into unconsciousness before stepping back and putting her hands on her hips. She looked over at the now seven passed out men in the alleyway, and the one very frustrated ex-model pinching the bride of his nose. “I think I’m coping just fine.”
“It’s better than being forced to suppress all of your emotions, sure,” Adrien reluctantly agreed. “But not by much. Your angry rampage through Gotham has already attracted more attention,” he raised his hand to point at a nearby rooftop. Several shadows lurked there, looming over the building’s edge. “Which, might I add, is exactly why I told you not to come to Gotham.”
“You’re the one who followed me here,” she shot back before turning to the shadowy figures above them. “Go ahead and come down! But it was self defense, and you can’t arrest or beat me up for defending myself!”
The first figure to drop down straightened your just as quickly, revealing the imposing figure of none other than Batman himself. The little white eyes on his cowl seemed to narrow on their own as he looked down at her.
“That might be true, but I’m sure you know my policy on metas in my city,” he grumbled back at her. He wasn’t necessarily threatening, but he definitely wasn’t welcoming either. With all of his limbs hidden behind the cocoon that was his cape, Marinette would never be able to predict his next move if he did decide to fight. Not that she seemed particularly worried about that as she crossed her arms over her chest and met his glare evenly.
“Oh, do you own this city now? I wasn’t given the memo,” she retorted. “And considering I didn’t even know I was a meta until last week? I think I deserve a little slack. I’m angry and if people think the tiny little girl in pink is an easy kidnapping target, then it’s their fault for making themselves into the perfect practice dummies for me to try out my newly discovered strength on.”
Adrien saw the eyes on Batman’s mask narrow even further. Marinette wasn’t exactly at her most charismatic at the moment, and Adrien didn’t wanna get the both of them into a bad relationship with the experienced superhero who always seemed to know things he shouldn’t know. So he stepped up quickly, getting in between Marinette and the Bat and holding his hands up in a placating gesture.
“Okay, Monsieur Batman,” Adrien started slowly, making sure his posture was impeccable and his smile bright. “She’s telling the truth, even if she’s not... the most tactful about it right now. She just found out some very concerning things about her origin and Gotham is the best place for her to hide from her problems and let loose a little pent up aggression. But— well,” he grimaced. “We didn’t intend to run into you guys, but maybe it’s a good thing we did.”
“How so?” Batman was clearly still incredibly suspicious of the both of them and wasn’t giving an inch. So Marinette rolled her eyes (she was still very moody) and leaned around Adrien so she could get a good look at the monochromatic hero.
“I thank my lucky spots that we ran into you, Batman!” She said monotonously. “Me and Adrien are paw-sitively excited at this opportunity.”
Batman. Froze.
Not only were those two lines the very first lines ever spoken to him by two foreign heroes a few years ago (with a few key words changed to protect identities), but they had become their code phrase for whenever they made calls to one another outside of their costumes. All at once it seemed to hit him— the golden hair and bright green eyes on the boy, the blue-black hair and normally super-focused bluebell eyes on the girl that were currently sporting very uncharacteristic frustration. Their heights. Their builds. All of this info flowed through his mind and compared to the information stored in his memory, and it only took the span of two seconds for everything to click.
Suddenly Batman was at full attention, back straight instead of looming over them and eyebrows clearly raised high under his cowl.
He knew Chat Noir and Ladybug would never take a random vacation to Gotham. Ladybug herself had nearly waxed poetic about how much the city depressed her just from the pictures she saw online. If she had willingly come to visit, it was more than to just blow off some steam.
“Batcave?” He asked, earning a relieved look from Adrien and a moody silence from Marinette.
“Please,” Adrien agreed. “You can probably help us, actually.”
—*—*—*—*—*
Marinette leaned back in the metal debriefing chair, legs up on the table and looking for all the world as the picture of pure teenage rebellion and angst. Coincidentally, Red Hood was in the exact same position in the chair next to her.
Batman and all of his other bats and birds were in the cave with the two off-duty Parisian heroes. Everyone except Adrien and Marinette still had their masks on, since the two Parisians were still not privy to their identities. Yet.
To be fair, the bats hadn’t known the identities of the two miraculous users either before today.
“Cha Noir,” Batman started, only to get a head shake from the blond boy.
“Just call me Adrien. Chat’s out of the bag—“ he ignored the groans at the pun and soldiered on, “—so might as well use my real name.”
Batman nodded. “Adrien, then,” he amended. “Why are you and Ladybug really in Gotham?”
Adrien sighed. “I wasn’t lying, before. Marinette,” he gestured to his hero partner. “Just found out some distressing family news. Since HawkMoth is gone, she doesn’t need to repress her negative emotions anymore. But she also didn’t want to be around her parents while she processed everything. I told her to choose any other city— really, I begged— but she insisted on coming to Gotham.”
“The never ending cloud cover and constant rain seem thematic,” she finally spoke up, reaching into her big over-the-shoulder bag and pulling out a large envelope. She threw it to Batman, making the thin package slice through the air like a knife. To nobody’s surprise the seasoned hero easily caught the projectile between two fingers. He looked at the envelope and back to Marinette, silent questions floating in the air between them. Marinette decided to answer at her own pace.
“That’s what we found out. You see, one of my friends is a huge science nerd. A genius. And he wanted to compare DNA samples between us to see if there were any genetic components that determined a person’s suitability towards certain Miraculous or other magical artifacts over others. It was supposed to just be a fun side project that he didn’t expect any breakthroughs on. He mostly just wanted to satisfy his own curiosity. But instead of finding out if our DNA was linked to the miraculous, he found out that my parents are not biologically my parents.”
“Hence the whole just finding out that you’re a meta thing, right?” Nightwing spoke up, fully invested in the story. “Did they never say you were adopted before?”
“It’s not in the system,” she replied easily. “My parents have all the documentation to prove that I’m their biological child, except I’m not. When I confronted them about it, they caved and admitted that they had adopted me in secret and covered it up. Apparently a friend of theirs was involved in something illegal, and,” she waved at the envelope that Batman was now opening. “The details of what we were able to dig up are in there. The summary is this; their friend was part of a secret, illegal experimentation to create clones that could defeat the Justice League—“ the air seemed to get sucked out of the room as soon as those words left Marinette’s mouth. Everyone seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. “—a group called CADMUS. They made me, as apparently one of their early attempts. But I didn’t exhibit any of the powers they were looking for, or any meta traits at all, and my body refused to mature at the rate they wanted. They had no use for a seemingly normal human baby that they managed to clone, so they were preparing to kill me and start over. That’s when my parent’s friend stole me, not wanting to kill an infant, and begged my parents to take me in and pretend I was theirs. Low and behold, it turns out that my DNA just needed a very specific series of emotions to unlock it’s latent abilities.”
“Those emotions being..?” Red hood trailed off, earning a wolfish smile from Marinette.
“Intense anger, betrayal, and confused frustration closely followed by the desire to punch other people’s faces in.”
“That last one is just an assumption,” Adrien chimed in. “And maybe not accurate. But the first three, our scientist friend was able to confirm. The rapid experience of a lot of negative but action-oriented emotions released whatever had been holding back the powers in her DNA from expressing themselves,” he had switched to French so that he could explain everything exactly as Max had told it to them, but he knew all of them were fluent anyway so it was fine. They nodded along, processing the information.
The crinkling of paper drew everyone’s attention back to Batman, who had been flipping through the detailed break down of everything they had found about Marinette’s situation and how she was made by CADMUS.
“Uh,” Red Robin nervously spoke up. “What’s up, Batman?”
“Your genetic donors...” Batman breathed, getting a wink and finger guns from Marinette.
“Yup. Isn’t that just the most fucked up thing you’ve ever seen? They were clearly trying to make someone who could destroy the world.”
“That makes me nervous,” Nightwing admitted, getting up and going to get a look at the papers himself. “It can’t be that ba—“
When even Nightwing was left agape, everyone else who wasn’t in on it found themselves squirming.
“Just tell the rest of us, already!” Robin demanded after the silence stretched just a bit too long.
“The unknowing genetic donors that CADMUS used to make me,” Marinette spoke up, still with her legs up on the table. “Are a very mad-scientist’s-wet-dream combination of Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne, and Wonder Woman.”
“We don’t even know why they added Bruce Wayne’s DNA,” Adrien admitted. “Although our scientist friend thinks it’s because of physique. His hypothesis is that, in order to support the genes of Wonder Woman, they had to add male genetics that could support the production of a very high muscle mass and would lean towards easy development of a very athletic body. Lex might be evil-scientist smart, but he’s a string bean. But if he added the DNA of another multi millionaire who just so happens to maintain a ridiculously fit body without putting any obvious work into it,” Adrien shrugged. “Then maybe the clone would be able to support Wonder Woman’s genetics and that of two human donors without falling apart.”
“So I’m ‘the clone�� now, huh?” Marinette snarked, earning an exasperated eye roll from her friend.
Batman just stared at the both of them for a moment. He walked away without a word, and came back with a fresh needle and a box. He placed it on the debriefing table.
“Can I do a paternity test myself?” He asked, his voice suspiciously less gruff than normal. “I trust the both of you, but I rather be safe than sorry with something like this.”
The both of them just stared at him in confusion. They traded a glance, and finally Marinette shrugged and moved to sit in her chair properly. Her shirt was already short sleeved, so she just held her arm out so Batman could easily get a blood sample.
“Sure, why not. But do you just have Lex Luthor or Bruce Wayne’s DNA sitting around to compare, or—“ she shut up when she watched Batman take off his glove and roll his own sleeve up. Realization slowly sunk in as he asked Nightwing to take a blood sample from him.
“Holy shit,” she breathed, eyes wide. “You’re— and Luthor doesn’t know— holy shit this is even worse than I thought,” Marinette rambled, not even noticing as Red Hood moved forward and took a small blood sample from her.
Adrien put a hand over his face and just laughed for a moment hysterically. “Oh my god,” he looked over at Marinette. “You could take over the world.”
“I have the blood of Batman AND Wonder Woman on MY side,” Marinette joked back, also hysterical.
When the bat’s high tech equipment was able to come back with a positive result only a few minutes later, Marinette and Adrien had to sit on the floor and just let it all sink in. Which Batman did not at all help by immediately unmasking himself and trying to make a proper introduction.
“I wanna go beat up random thugs again,” Marinette whined, pulling at her hair. “I’ll put on a mask, whatever, but just please let me punch people. I need to punch people right now.”
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obeiii-mee · 3 years ago
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MC had a bad day or they’re dealing with a bad loss from a loved one. So they decide to seek comfort from the Brothers! But they don’t do it in a normal way, they just barge in the room where the brothers are all relaxing or hanging out at before MC just busts in getting their attention and they go “I need a hug 🥺”. Let’s see the some fluffy hc’s of the brothers comforting MC 🥰
And how could they not want to hug their cute human that is literally 3 seconds away from breaking down into tears?
The Brothers Comforting MC After A Bad Day:
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You’re right, they wouldn’t be able to resist, they love their human too much 😌
*soBS* I want to hug one of them so bad rn
Thank you for the request, I love writing fluffy HCs, it’s my weak spot and it gives me serotonin. I hope you have a nice day/night!! Uh, it’s sort of implied that MC is slightly shorter than them so sorry if that’s a problem-
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Notes: Fluff, mentions of loss and dead family members/friends, mostly comfort though, short HCs
Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beezlebub and Belphegor.
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Lucifer:
-He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t really need to because him just being there, arms wrapped around you and hands lightly running up and down your back, is worth more words than any sort of verbal consolation he could’ve given you and because of this, you feel at ease
-His touch is firm but gentle and you relax almost immediately, burying your head against his chest and feeling him press a kiss on top of your hairline, tightening your hold on him
-He already told his brothers to back off because the last thing he wanted was for you you to get overwhelmed by their insensitivity so you two were left in the living room by yourselves
-In a bit of an awkward position though, because you were both standing and after a while, it was clear a hug wasn’t going to be enough
-That’s his excuse as to why he picked you up bridal style five minutes later and carried you all the way to his bedroom, a place he knows his siblings won’t ever trespass without his permission and somewhere he can shield you from any prying eyes while you’re in this vulnerable state
-At this point, he was basically cradling you like a baby, having you sit on his lap and waiting for you to tire yourself out until you couldn’t cry anymore and watching you slip into that hiccuping stage you get after a breakdown
-Lucifer is obviously going to ask what happened, but whether you answer him or not is up to you because he’s not one to push matters if he sees you’re uncomfortable talking about it
-However, he might insist if he concludes that it’s affecting you and your well being and that’s how you know usually know he’s worried
-His voice is soft though and just listening to it makes you want to tell him everything, whether it’d be something as annoying as a small inconvenience you stumbled across that day or the death of a relative, you feel welcomed enough to spill everything
-Even if you decide not to, he’ll stay with you until you feel better, until you’re no longer crying or shaking or anything of the sort. He speaks occasionally, almost soothingly about how important you are to him and how capable you are of overcoming anything in your way. For the most part, however, he remains quiet and allows you to mull over your thoughts, willing to forget about his paperwork just to let you cling to him for a few hours
-Maybe later, when you’re no longer as distressed, he could get the full story out of you and help you overcome whatever problem you’re having trouble facing but for now, he understands all you need is for him to be there
“MC?” He calls your name out because he was thinking that maybe you had fallen asleep but he realised that was not the case when you looked up at him, streaks of tears still sliding down your cheeks. When you don’t respond, he sighs almost contently “A bit longer?” You don’t answer again but this time, he could feel you nod against him and he smiles despite himself as he leaned his head against yours “All right then, just a bit longer.”
Mammon:
-Truth be told, he’s never been the best at comforting someone and normally, he’s kind of awkward when he wants to show his support because it feels so out of his character
-But it’s not like he was going to refuse you anyway. Not when you specifically came to him and asked him for help and not when you looked like you were on the verge of crying. He’d be a monster to deny you >:(
-It upsets him too, you know. He’s meant to be your protector, guardian even, so the fact that he couldn’t keep you from getting hurt makes him feel like he failed at keeping his human safe. Actually, it takes a lot of convincing on your part just to tell him that you’re not actually physically hurt. Just a shitty day…
-Mammon, despite the walls he puts up ever now and then, is someone that genuinely cares for you. And he’s also the type that does almost everything in excess, especially when it comes to you or spending money. That’s just his personality; he’s loud and boisterous and even though he wants to deny this, completely transparent with his emotions
-You ask for a hug? He gives you plenty of hugs! He lets you lay on top of him while cuddling so he can hold you!!! He brings you snacks and drinks!!! Shit, he basically cradles you the whole night!!! And he’s blushing and acting annoyed the entire time, refusing to accept how much he’s actually enjoying this
-The point is, he tends to coddle you whenever you have a bad day or if you’re really affected by the loss of a dead loved one. This is probably because he, in turn, likes to be babied and cared for when he’s feeling down and he subconsciously does that to you because it’s the only means of comfort he knows how to execute well
-A hug would’ve sufficed, but you’re his human and let him be damned if he’s not gonna give you the world on a silver platter if you keep looking at him with those sad eyes of yours
-By now, if you need anything, you just need to ask because even with a bit of grumbling, he’ll get it for you. More snacks? Say less. Wanna watch TV with him for a while? Immediately reaches for the remote? You just want to cuddle? His body is naturally warm for a reason bby, dig in. You want his heart? Give him a moment to surgically get it out of his chest-
-No matter what, he’s so glad that you trust him enough to talk to him about this sort of stuff and that he’s the first person you think of when you need consolation
-It makes sense after all, right? He’s your first pact so your direct happiness is his responsibility while you’re in DevilDom! It’s his job to make sure you function again by tomorrow morning and that you’re no longer troubled by anything
“Hey! What’s with all the crying huh?” He cups your face in his hands and softly squishes the flesh between his fingers. His thumbs brush over the tears in your eyes and he let’s out a small ‘tsk’ as your foreheads touch and his hands drip to your shoulders to keep you steady “The Great Mammon is hugging ya right now, ya know? There’s no reason for you to be upset, not when I’ve got ya in my arms like this, OK? So you can stop with yer water works now.” As noisy as his voice is, there’s a gentle note behind it when he speaks and embraces you, his cologne spreading everywhere “I love you, ya big idiot. So please, stop cryin’ and lemme hold ya already! Yer making me worried, ya stupid human.”
Levi:
-You stopping by his room is not unusual. In fact, you do it every day and it’s just part of the routine you have with him. However, he’s wasn’t exactly expecting you to stand there, all shaken up and ask him for a hug!!!
-And he doesn’t process this request for a second but then he freaks out so badly-
-Yells incomprehensibly about how you’re ‘pulling your normie tricks on him again’ and how he’s ‘not going to be fooled by them anymore.’
-You raise your head to meet his eyes while he’s still rambling on though and he sees your teary expression and now he feels guilty because you look really upset. Levi’s kinda scared he made it worse-
-He’s the type to usher you in his room and lock the door as usual but instead of doing what the two of you always do, you literally stay attached to him because you need comfort damn it!
-Levi….is sort of clueless about these emotional outbursts since he himself doesn’t deal with them very well. However, he’s watched enough animes revolving around romance to conclude on the best course of action so-do not fear! (Spoiler, he still doesn’t know what he’s doing)
-He’s really stuck and can either stay as quiet as a nun or start babbling in a language you probably wouldn’t even understand because he’s so nervous
-Or actually, he might start crying with you if I’m being fair; he’s very in sync with his Henry and your emotions
-Once he calms down, he’s actually not all that bad at comforting. Levi is a bit stand offish with his hugs at first but he relaxes into them and by now, you’re both standing by the side of his bed, with you leaning onto him and him holding your hand. He then intertwines your fingers together but subconsciously because he wouldn’t have the gall otherwise
-Later, he tells you to help yourself with the snacks he has hidden in his room. I guarantee you he has a whole ass mini refrigerator hidden somewhere for his all night gaming session, in case he needs any boosts. No one knows how Beel hasn’t found the stash yet and there’s no need to tell him
-Then you watch re runs of old shows together and make fun of the shitty editing and dialogue. He’s still holding your hand though and he’s really flustered and wondering if it’s too sweaty for you but don’t mention it because he’ll get even more embarrassed
-He glances over to you, every once in a while, whilst you’re cuddled up against his arm, eyes glued on the TV, to make sure you’re OK. You almost gave him a seizure or at least that’s how he felt-so he made it his mission to make you feel better by any means necessary. Fuck today’s raids, his team can get them done without him!!
“I-I don’t know why you would want me of all people to hug you but…” he trailed off in a whisper, having to lean down so you could wrap your arms against his neck and bury your head in his shoulder. He pulled you in closer, a streak of protectiveness coursing through him as he shut the door to his room with his foot “Lord of the Shadows would never leave Henry all on his own, so I’m not going to do that either. This is an important character development arc and-just, please don’t cry. I’ll give you more hugs, OK? Seeing you like this is not good for my heart-“ stopped mid sentence after realising what he just said and now he’s the one burying his head in your shoulder, flushed beyond hell “Forget I just said that! Holy Lord Diavolo this is embarrassing, why am I like this????”
Satan:
-It troubles him greatly to see you like this and he can sort of feel the world shift out of place, seeing you with tears running down your face and hands balled into fists out of frustration almost immediately makes him fly into a fit of rage because who would dare to hurt you-
-Oh, a hug? If that’s all you need, he’s more than happy to oblige but if you’re as distraught as you seem to be, he wonders if just a small embrace from him would be enough
-Satan’s hugs are very intimate and even passionate at times. He has one hand on the back of your head and the other supporting your lower back while you bawl your eyes out into his shoulder and getting his uniform wet
-You can’t really seem to focus on what he’s trying to tell you because he’s so warm and welcoming and even though he’s someone as renowned as the Avatar of Wrath, he’s shockingly patient with you as you let out the overwhelming emotions that have been consuming you all day
-It’s hard to not relax when you’re in Satan’s presence because he’s calm and he smells like musty, old books and mahogany wood and cats, meaning he was most likely cuddling strays he found on the street the entire day. The first visual that comes to mind is fire crackling behind a grate in a chimney and someone reading a book while swinging back and forth on an old, rickety chair when you’re around him
-He will wait until you’re no longer crying and then, before you know it, you find yourself in the library with him, drinking tea and being handed a plate of biscuits he took from the kitchen to help you regain your strength after all that crying. You’re still feeling pretty miserable about the day you’ve had but you quickly lose yourself in a conversation with him over a cup of tea
-Sometimes, you two talk for hours on end about nothing important just to hear each other’s voices and finally have some quality time spent together. Even though he wishes the circumstances were better, he’s glad to have been able to snatch you away from his brothers for a while and he’s even happier you chose him to confide in
-Satan practically doesn’t even mention your outburst and keeps the small talk minimal but he wants you to know that if you do wish to tell him about it, he’s more than happy to listen and he’s not so bad at giving advice either
-The topic of the discussion you were having with him changed abruptly by the end of the night and now you’re reading together from this book he started a while ago, both of you covered with a blanket, your head on his chest and his leaning on yours. He’s holding the book with both of his hands, but still managed to get his left wrapped around you. And because of this feeling of safety and warmth, you don’t feel desperate anymore. Tomorrow, you’ll be able to sort out your feelings but now, you’re content to just listening to Satan read, in his clear, soft voice
“Ah MC, could you turn the page for me?” You do as he asked to and you could feel him smiling as he kissed your hairline, sighing before going back to the book and the story within “Thank you. You truly are amazing, did you know that? I’ve never met someone as caring and as kind as you. Well, I suppose Beel could compete for the title but unlike him, you don’t really leave us in debt whenever we visit the grocery store.” Hearing you laugh makes him smile even more and he lets you hold the other side of the book while he plays with your hair and now you join in reading with him, out loud and trying to act out voices for the characters. As everything unfolds, Satan feels the world click right back into place.
Asmo:
-It’s a known fact by now that Asmo is willing to give you any sort of affection at any point in time, whether it’d be a hug, a kiss, holding your hand-you name it! I mean, whenever he’s feeling down, you being there to encourage him helps a lot so it’s only natural it works the other way around too!
-If he notices that you’re genuinely upset by something, then he would have no problem whatsoever with lavishing you in attention and really, a hug or two from him is the bare minimum in situations like this
-In any case, he always enjoys fussing over you and you having a bad day is the perfect excuse for him to do so! After all, he can’t disappoint you since you came to him with your troubles and he will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Actually, if he could, he would keep hugging you forever but as miraculous as his charm can be, it’s not effective against someone with this low of a morale
-His first suggestion is to take a bath! It’s his way of taking care of you; you’re tired after such a long day and he feels like you’re neglecting yourself a little because of it. So you relax in his bathtub with him for a while, him actively trying to get your mind off any bad, lingering thoughts while you splash around in the bubbles
-And obviously after that, you need to have your mandatory spa sessions with him since you need to unwind and what’s a better way to do that than to let him paint your nails and apply lotion to your skin? Besides, it creates a great opportunity for you to take things off your chest
-He’s in need to hear gossip constantly so if you don’t feel like talking, he’s gonna be a bit bummed out but he still respects your wishes enough to not push you. If your problem is as sensitive as the death of a family member, you’re not obligated to talk to him about it and he will understand, since people grieve in different ways. He too shut down after the death of Lilith for a while after all
-A bad day is nothing Asmo can’t handle. He’s had plenty of those before, mostly because of Mammon and his thievery, they’re usually common factors. It’s only natural you experience those yourself and he’s more than willing to be your support system if you need one. He wants you to know that you can go to him if you need advice or help with anything, or even if you just need to someone to hear you out
-To give a more detailed explanation of his hugs, they are usually really light and you never feel suffocated when you’re in his arms. He never squeezes you too tight and he always smells amazing, so you feel inclined to stay near him for as long as possible. Despite his overtly loud nature, he gets incredibly soft spoken with you and he traces patterns on your back and arms as you stand there together
-It’s important to mention, he never pulls away from you first. He lets you decide when you’ve had enough and when you’re ready to move on or if you require some other means of comfort
-And even if you’re no longer disgruntled, he’s still going to pamper you as much as possible the next day with either a shopping spree or another few spa sessions, this time done at a professional institution rather than the privacy of his bedroom
-Asmo is in touch with your emotions and it’s kinda scary sometimes because of how well he can read you, since he almost always knows what you need
“Oh darling, how could I refuse a hug from you?” You can feel his arms embrace you, even with your eyes closed and for some reason, this makes you cry even harder, sobbing as he tries to comfort you. You’re aware he let go of you at some point and returned with a tissue to dab away at your tears, gently to not hurt your eyes and now he’s hugging you again, a wry smile on his face “You don’t have to worry about a thing, MC. Everything will get sorted out, I promise. In the meantime, come to me if anything troubles you again, OK? No more crying, darling-it’s bad for your eyes.”
Beel:
-The type to immediately lean in for a hug without even questioning why. As soon as you ask him, you barely have time to finish the question and you already find yourself in his arms. The only exception would be when he’s eating or maybe in the middle of a work out but the point is he doesn’t hesitate much when it comes to you. And I mean, he loves hugs just as much as his siblings do
-Beel is not the most observant and he may not realise you’re in a bad mood unless you tell him outright. It’s not even that he’s emotionally distant, it’s just that if you tell him that you’re fine, then he’s gonna take your word for it and believe you since he’s pretty straightforward with his feelings as well. However, as dense as he may be on occasion, even he’s bound to notice that you’re not being your usual self and this is especially true if you start crying out of nowhere while he’s nearby. Probably assumes the worst and is under the impression that he did something to upset you because shifting the blame onto himself whenever others suffer is his coping mechanism and we’ve seen him to do it before
-If you’ve just had a bad day, he understands that things could’ve been very overwhelming for you and he wishes he had known sooner so he could’ve helped back then, instead of letting it come to this. But he doesn’t hesitate all that much since he looks like he’s built for giving hugs on a daily basis. I’m not even sure this would classify as a hug since you’re not touching the floor. Rather, you are attached to him like a koala and he’s carrying you around as if you were a baby strapped to his chest. And he genuinely doesn’t mind. He’s been doing it with Belphie for centuries now
-Please, after a while he gets seriously concerned because are humans supposed to cry this much? What if you dehydrate or something? So he makes you stay in bed and just gives you plenty of water. You look so pale and sad, he shares his food with you too because his heart is aching just looking at you like this. He feels like besides being there, he can’t provide you with much help and he’s starting to think he’s hopeless at comforting
-If a family member died then…Beel is one of the best people you could’ve gone to. Honestly, having dealt with his sister’s situation, he knows how horrible it is to lose somebody you love dearly (I mean, all the brothers do but I’m making a point saying Beel, Belphie and Lucifer were especially affected). Now he’s sad himself since he’s aware that you’re going through something similar and his twin might walk in on the two of you being emotional on the floor
-For the most part, Beel makes sure you keep yourself healthy even when you’re tired and depressed. Continues to bring you food, even if he eats half of it on his way to your room, and just keeps you company in general in case you get lonely. Seeing you upset makes him even more considerate of your feelings and you don’t have the heart to tell him that he doesn’t need to stay with you all night. He thinks he does because you’ve always offered to stay with him whenever he’s had nightmares before so how he’s gotta return the favour
-Beel gives these bear hugs all the time, since he’s so big and his hand basically covers your entire back. So, more often than not, you end up cuddling while standing because he’s a lot taller than you, with him being a demon and all. Despite that, you feel so unbelievably complete when he holds you like this. It’s hard not to feel protected since his whole body is practically concealing yours so easily all the time and you feel sheltered from the world and it’s….nice
-And Beel enjoys hugging you too, because he knows that as long as he’s nearby, you’ll be safe and that’s really all he needs. He wants to be there for you the same way you were there for him when he needed it most and comforting you when you’re having a shitty day is like his full time job
-You could come to Beel with any problem and he would never judge you, no matter what. He’s just really unproblematic and he just wants you to go back to your normal self because it hurts him to see you cry your eyes out. Now, not only are hugs mandatory but holding your hand is too. It’s like hugging…but your hands are doing the hugging
-Definitely even goes to Belphie after a while if he really doesn’t know what to do and that’s how you know he’s desperate to do something. Since the Seventh Born isn’t exactly someone that yields great advice, more so when it comes to other…people….and his twin knows this-
-Beel’s best strategy at the moment is to just maintain some kind of physical contact because he discovered that makes you feel better and it calms you down more than him trying to verbally console you. He even invited you to sleep in his room if you’re comfortable doing so just so you’re not alone. After that one incident, he’s trying to coax you to tell him whenever something is wrong so he can jump in and help, because that’s all he really wants to do ahakenksms
“MC? Did something happen?” He’s honestly taken aback by how shaky you are and how you’re hands are trembling as they’re reaching to connect with his. Without much of a warning, he feels a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach and now he discovers that he doesn’t like seeing you with tears trailing down your face. And he feels worse the longer you wail in his chest and he doesn’t know what to do. So, he wraps his arms around you so tight you think you might explode, strangely comforted by the feeling as he speaks again “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you. What can I do to help, MC? We can just stay like this for a while if you want” And when he sees you nod, he proceeds to not move an inch almost the entire night. Obviously, hunger overtook him eventually but he shared his stolen goods with you so can you really complain? Doubtful, not when he hasn’t let go of your hand the whole time.
Belphie:
- Hugging him is a gamble. Realistically speaking, you’re not going to catch him standing upright long enough for you to give him a hug. He’s laying on the floor somewhere, asleep so you shouldn’t expect much from him to begin with. Even if you were to get lucky and stumble upon him while he’s wide awake, he might slump over and succumb to sleep the moment you embrace him because you’re so warm
-Cuddling is a different story altogether. He’d rather shoot himself in the foot than not have you cuddle with him so if you need to be babied for once, he’s a pretty good option to consider
-As usual, he’s in the attic and you go to him because it’s really late and you didn’t want to wake up any of the other brothers. Actually, Belphie is normally awake by dusk so to see him sleep like a log past midnight was quite surprising. You didn’t exactly want to interrupt but if you stayed alone for any longer, you would’ve gone insane. So you shook him awake. And he was understandably confused and probably forgot what planet he was on for a minute when you did so
-Technically, he was half awake and from his point of view, everything must’ve been pretty blurry. He did see you; the problem was that because he was still feeling very sleepy, he was basically in a daze and could only squint at you to try and figure out if you were really there or if he was hallucinating. His suspicion was confirmed soon enough because he reached out after a few seconds and poked your cheek just to check. His face the entire time and the action itself was so amusing that, despite tittering on the edge of a breakdown, you burst out laughing
-Once he came to the conclusion that you were, in fact, real and he wasn’t dreaming, he sighed and opened his arms out for you; a direct invitation to cuddle with him. By now, he likely didn’t even noticed you looked sad because, as I said, he was all over the place but this little ritual you two have was common enough that it got engraved in his memory. Now he does it out of impulse whenever you’re around and he wants attention
-So you basically tackled him and threw yourself on top of him so hard, both of you toppled over on the bed and now you were used as a blanket, with his arms wrapped securely around you; preventing you from getting up. Not that you were planning on doing that anytime soon but moving on-
-You thought he had fallen back asleep, because he went really quiet and he stopped squirming to get comfortable. To be exact, the whole room was rather still and the only thing you could really hear was Belphie’s soft breathing and the rustle of the bedsheets every once in a while. And since it was extremely dark as well, you couldn’t see a thing either so it felt like the best place to let go of your stress
-It’s not like you were making much noise but as I said, the seventh born wasn’t sleeping just yet. And he wouldn’t be able to because it was obvious to him now that something was wrong. He believed that he was bearing witness to something that should’ve been a lot more private than this so he didn’t say anything. You should have your moment, let you have a chance to recollect your thoughts and the next day, he might ask you
-It was too much to handle. It’s not like he was gonna get any sleep unless he knew your problem was solved otherwise he might get nightmares all night. Besides, if you’re crying this much, then something terrible must’ve happened. You realised he was awake when he gave your entire body a small squeeze, as if to reassure you and you froze because did you just wake him up???? Or worse, did he hear all that sobbing you were doing????
-Hugging him is similar to hugging a pillow. He’s soft and squishy and warm and it’s impossible to resist him when rest at a time like this is so tempting. His fingers running over your pact mark once or twice, as if to remind you that he’s right there and low whispers describing the best dream he ever had about you, hoping to distract you for long enough to help you fall asleep
-To him, it doesn’t make a difference if a family member died or if you’re just having a bad day. All he knows is that you’re having a lot of emotional problems because of either one and as a result, you need a shoulder to lean on. He’s glad that you trust him enough to let him assist and if it was up to him, he would keep cuddling you forever. You’ve already suffered enough so let him take care of you this time around, OK?
“Dumbass, why are you crying?” The gentleness of his words was a clear contrast to that quick insult he shoved at the beginning of his statement, though you couldn’t hear any malice behind it and the fact that he really cared about what happened to cause you to struggle with your emotions so badly, would’ve made you wail even harder. However, he managed to silence you pretty well because he kept speaking and you wanted to listen; you wanted to hear what he had to say so you reduced your sobs and you sat quietly enough to do just that. Belphie flipped you over, now with him on top and you underneath and he laid there, cheek sloshed against yours as he sleepily mumbled out more praise for you, “MC, are you tired? You should go to bed, you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow, you can tell me what the problem is and I’ll help. I promise-I’ll even get up early for you. Just…please calm down. I don’t want to see you crying yourself to sleep ever again. I’ll stay here the entire time, alright? And I’ll make sure you have nice dreams tonight MC…just let me hold you…”
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undertaker1827 · 4 years ago
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Hi again! How are you doing? Can you a scenario with Undertaker, Edward, Ciel and Sebastian with a s/o who is scared to love because in their life, they only see relationships that end up with both people end up hurt and they're afraid to be in one? Keep up your work! You're doing amazing! :)
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Hello! I’m good, hope you are too! And of course, (though I’m sorry, I kind of forgot about the tsundere-ish bit until the end) enjoy!
Masterlist
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Undertaker
Undertaker had known for a while now that you loved him, and he loved you back. It took quite a bit of courage for him to even approach you to confess his feelings, even though he already knew you returned them, for fear of rejection. He had trust issues from various things that had happened to him throughout his long life and he also knew how short a human life was compared to his own, how quickly you could be ripped out of his arms by so little with him able to do nothing but watch. In the end, he decided to just go for it anyway, to tell you. And he felt like his chest had imploded when you rejected his advances.
Sadness radiated from you as you quietly told him you weren’t interested, then walked slowly away to his small kitchen where you put the kettle on for tea. He didn’t mention it again.
He worried over your reaction until he almost felt sick, worried that he’d upset you, that you would now want nothing more to do with him and that he had ruined this little piece of happiness he’d managed to scrape out of eternity. He’d never imagined your rejection came out of fear as well.
The mortician had been different since that day, try though he had to remain the same, and you too worked yourself up until you were fighting back tears as you tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, it was all down to you. He watched you spiral rapidly downwards for all of a few seconds before he realised where this was going, then did the only thing he could think of in that moment. Undertaker shoved his bangs to the side so you could see his eyes then kissed you, hard, for all of a few moments. It was enough to shock you out of your impending panic and with your chest still heaving, he gently told you that he was scared to love as well, scared to lose you. But if you were both scared of the same thing, you would could work through it together.
“I think,” you whispered, “I think I would like that.” The mortician offered you a small smile.
“I think I would too.”
Edward Midford
Edward had slowly come to the realisation that he loved you. He enjoyed your company, felt happier when you were there and was filled with an undeniable sadness when you left again. You had been walking through the streets of London together, talking animatedly about everything and nothing all at once. This was something you often did together, each taking comfort in the other’s presence and enjoying the escape from real life that your shared walks offered. This particular day though, you had not even made it halfway round your usual route before a friend came rushing up to you, needing your assistance for one thing or another, and you’d had to leave. You looked sad though, glancing over your shoulder at Edward as your friend chatted away, wishing you were still with him instead.
That led the knight to where he was now, wandering around one of London’s great parks and contemplating hi relationship with you. He was never one to beat around the bushes with regards to his personal feelings on any matter, least of all one where somebody else’s emotions were involved and they could potentially get hurt. As such, he decided that he would tell you everything as soon as he saw you again, which would be tomorrow’s usual morning walk.
-
Your heart leapt into your throat as soon as Edward asked if he could court you. You had both dreamed of and dreaded this moment for as long as you had held feelings for the man, which started to come about almost as soon as you met him. You swallowed once before politely declining his advances, the next few minutes of the walk continuing in silence. Upset as Edward was, he absolutely respected your decision. But he was sure you felt something for him, so he could help but ask you why. When he saw how that made you even more agitated, he immediately backtracked, apologising profusely and swearing never to bring it up again. Which in turn made you feel worse, because now you had inadvertently upset the man you loved even more.
That was how you ended up telling him, right there in the middle of your walk, that you would love nothing more than for him to court you, but you were too scared to say yes. You explained all of the relationships that you had seen go wrong and that you didn’t want you and him to become yet another one. He told you then that he’d seen much of the same as you, with friends and even some families, but he was still willing to give this a try if you were. After all; he loved you.
Ciel Phantomhive
Ciel too came to the realisation that he loved you slowly. There was no one moment where it just hit him, but more like he gradually came to the conclusion that he wanted to be with you for as long as he possibly could. He didn’t know if you returned his feelings or not, so he decided to wait a while before telling you, firstly to see how you behaved around him and try to decide whether your feelings for him went further than a strong bond of friendship, and secondly for him to get his courage up.
You were having tea in one of the Phantomhive manor’s many drawing rooms, Sebastian having left at Ciel’s request some time ago and no doubt going about his duties around the estate. This was the moment then; it was time to ask if you would allow him to court you. Of course, when you graciously and elegantly declined his request with an apology on your lips a light frown across your brow, he had no idea that in truth, your heart was breaking just as much as his. You loved him, you truly did, but you dared not admit it for the fear of any relationship ending in tears just as you had seen with those of your friends. Outwardly, Ciel took this rejection in a calm and collected manner, offering you his own apology, but it left a gaping hole in his chest in which there had been the hope for something more with you.
You each tried to continue like you had before, but with Ciel’s sadness and your fear, in the end you felt like he deserved the true explanation of why you refused. The moment you told the earl, a spark of joy lit up within him once more. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance that you would give this relationship a go, if the pair of you went slowly enough and if there was a solemn promise that your friendship would remain unchanged if and when your romantic partnership came to an end. 
Sebastian Micaelis
Sebastian could help but admit that he was a little surprised at his own feelings when he came to realise what they were. He was a demon after all; demons weren’t supposed to acquire romantic attachments for anyone, let alone a human of all beings. Any human’s lifetime was a blink of an eye compared to Sebastian’s and the thought did give him pause when it came to you, though only for a moment. He could at least enjoy a romantic partnership with you while it lasted, and surely some time spent with you in this way was better than none at all.
The demon was sure you felt the same way about him. Identifying the emotions of others when they were so clearly displayed in their every action was simple, it was dealing with one’s own thoughts and feelings that was the difficult part. Sebastian was visiting you at your house when he told you how he felt about you, a cup of your perfect tea in one hand but the drink long forgotten. He saw the panic rise in your features as soon as the words left his lips, but he asked anyway if you felt the same. He was again surprised at the bleak sadness that filled him when you said you did not. He was sure he could sense conflict in you, but he dared not comment on it lest he push you away entirely. A friendship was better than you not being in his life at all, he decided, and he was determined for your current friendship to remain the way it was. 
Sebastian carried on after that as if nothing had happened, simply hoping to maintain some sort of friendship with you after his impromptu confession. You, on the other hand, simply grew more concerned as the days passed by. You wanted to say you loved him back, because it was the truth, but you were scared that everything would go wrong as you had seen so many times before. Eventually, with trembling hands and a total lack of the courage you really wished you had, you told him everything. Sebastian was quietly overjoyed that you returned his feelings, though his only words to you were ones of comfort. He told you that he understood your fear and that it was perfectly normal even, but asked if you would give things a try anyway. For both your sakes, just in case things could really work out. It was hesitantly, if not with an air of excitement, that you agreed.
Ronald Knox
Ronald was well known amongst other reapers for being someone who moved very quickly between partners. He knew this about himself as well, it was just the way he was. That was why he was so surprised to find he was actually interested in you in the context of a long term relationship. You were interested in him too, though you didn’t expect him to feel the same way. On top of that, even in the unlikely event that he did feel the same way about you, you knew you would be too afraid of getting hurt and having any potential relationship end badly to try anything with him.
You felt a deep, aching sorrow in your chest when the one almost impossible scenario that you spent your time both dreaming and worrying about started to play out right in front of you. Ronald didn’t ask you out in a big room filled with lots of people, instead asking if he could walk with you after you both clocked off from work. The hurt was displayed clearly on the reaper’s face, much as he tried to hide it then brush it off entirely when you went to apologise. You felt awful when he made an excuse and went on his way not a few moments later, but what was worse was that when you went into work the next morning, a massive fire had broken out in the early hours somewhere in the centre of London and the night crew hadn’t been able to collect all of the souls. Which left you being paired up with Ronald to finish the job.
You each tried carrying on like nothing had happened the previous day, but found it was very difficult. Things changed though when you tripped over a charred piece of wooden beam and would have fallen straight through the fragile floor and down a storey to the ground below had Ronald not caught you.
“Guess you fell for me after all, huh?” He said this with a small yet sad grin, but the look quickly turned to a teasing smirk when your gaze dropped off to one side. “You did as well!” You grumbled something unintelligible as you still refused to look at him. “You know, you’re so pretty when you’re upset.” The reaper’s eyes were practically glowing with mirth and he knew full well you didn’t mean your next words.
“Oh, shut up!”
William T. Spears
William couldn’t really believe that he was about to do this. He always did his utmost to remain stoic and emotionless, void of attachments and only at work long enough to do his job and then go home. But then, along came you. He found quite quickly that he couldn’t keep his mind off of you,the way you acted and how you always seemed pleased to see him when nobody else was.
This was it, then. You tended to stay late and end up leaving around the same time he did, meaning you would both end up walking together until you left dispatch’s confines and went home your separate ways. You were coming out of your office at the same time as he was making his way down the corridor on this particular evening, and you gave the reaper a broad smile as he paused a minute to wait for you. He was collected as ever on the outside, even if internally his every nerve felt like it was on fire. Neither of you spoke as you headed towards the main exit from the office building, keeping pace with each other as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
William waited until you were outside to finally tell you how he felt, the soft and quiet confession feeling entirely foreign on his tongue. His apprehension steadily raised as the seconds went past until you finally answered, expression sorrowful yet decided. You looked up at him as you declined his offer, sadness settling in your chest as his characteristically stiff posture remained unchanged and he stared straight ahead.
“Alright, then. I apologise for having wasted your time.” With that, he was gone, long strides taking him away from you far too quickly. It was a decision made just as quickly that had you running after him, calling his name and asking him to wait. You were almost surprised to find that he did indeed stop and turn to face you.
“I - I’m sorry,” you attempted to explain yourself, “it’s just that I only ever see relationships end badly, and I just... don’t want it to be the same with you. You matter too much to me.” The reaper paused, an unexpected warmth settling in his chest at your words.
“Would you be willing to try?” William asked you cautiously, wondering if he could bear it if your answer was no. That worry dissipated, though, as he watched your lips curve up into a small smile.
“I think I would.”
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multiplefandomsblog · 4 years ago
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request; Can I request Nagito, Kokichi, and Rantaro with an s/o that has a hard time understanding why someone feels a certain emotion in situations?
pairing(s); rantaro x gn!reader, nagito x gn!reader, kokichi x gn!reader
warnings; blood, violence, broken noses, strong language, kind of angsty — sorry that nagito's is super long- i started off with him and i haven't written in a long time so i just shit all over the place, fluff at kokichi, i have mood swings I'm so sorry about the whiplash you are about to witness
note; yesss i am back to finish these requests yurrrrrr sjansjdhfbasdkjfds I'm not gonna make a big announcement or anything(I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything in my life rn, so I'm sorry for people who are waiting on me—) , just gonna spit out as many finished requests as i can, sorry for the abrupt pause of everything by the wayz ill be (hopefully) regularly posting works from now on.
(also this request was kind of vague, so i used the example of someone getting upset/angry and reader not understanding why; i hope that's okay :'))
Nagito Komaeda
◊ I think Nagito would understand your struggles more than anyone else.
◊ And… honestly, it kind of reassures him that you share a struggle with him. It makes him feel less alone, less like the odd one out.
◊ Being similar to someone like you in any way, even if it was a genuinely difficult and real struggle; was a blessing in disguise for someone as lowly as him.
◊ Getting that out of the way, Nagito would never see your struggle as what it is. The way he views you, how highly he puts you up on a pedestal, as well as how much hope he believes you to hold; he, at first*, won't help you at all with your struggles.
◊ As a strong believer of hope overcoming despair, good defeating bad; Nagito is positive that the struggles you hold will always be defeated, bludgeoned into a despairing sludge by your all-mighty hope.
◊ And at first, he won't even think of this as a bad thing! You should be proud of it, of course, unless it stirs despair within you.
◊ * That being said, if he sees you struggling with your inability to understand human reactions to an awful point, he would put his obsession with hope aside, and focus on trying to help you as your boyfriend.
◊ Though I'm afraid, he wouldn't be much of a help, because he gets stuck on this one too.
◊ If you ever unintentionally angered someone, however, and/or provoked them to potentially hurt you; he'd immediately step in and lay the damp washcloth of apologies on the accidental fire you had set.
◊ Though there is a high chance, he'll make it worse by saying something he hadn't intended to sound condescending. It just came out that way.
◊ Nagito would never put your well-being before his insatiable need for you to accelerate and empower your hope.
◊ He's your boyfriend before he is your admirer of hope.
— "What...? How can you- how can you be so calm!?" Confusion, fear, and intimidation seemed to overwhelm you as you stepped back, eyebrows creased in utmost confusion as the person before you, seemed to have been angered by your wording.
Suddenly, you had started repeating and reversing over what you had previously said, scanning your wording for things that could have been perceived as offensive; only to grow even more confused as you had found none.
"I... What? Are you... are you mad at me or something?" Your genuine tone of voice, as well as the genuine look of confusion on your face, had been blurred and unnoticed as the ugly emotion of anger seemed to destroy their human senses— and the person had unfortunately taken your question as an insult.
Without another word, the sickening crunch of flesh and bone hitting flesh and bone echoed throughout the trial room. Flesh and bone that had thankfully, and unfortunately, hadn't belonged to you.
"Holy- Someone hold them back!"
"There's... no need for that...!"
Turns out Nagito took the hit for you.
He peeled the hand tending to his nose away from his face, revealing the nasty bruising and the blood dripping down his nostril—despite the gruesome sight of it all, he still seemed to be smiling. Smiling as if something amazing had just happened, and he was dying from the joy he had been feeling.
He wasted no time to spew out whatever he could think of, despite the shock and adrenaline from getting a broken nose, he still fought through the struggle to speak properly, as well as merely breathing without immense pain.
It was like second nature to him, to steer the blame and the aggression away from you—even if it almost killed him. Anything... to protect his hope.
"Haha, this is... Whatever you need to achieve your hope, whether it be a good old-fashioned beat-down or... murder;" a laugh crossing the line to psychotic erupted from Nagito's scratchy throat.
"I personally invite you all—especially (name)—to bruise me up and brutally murder me for your pleasure, and your hop!" —all at the expense of him making sure no one gets the chance to lay a single finger laid onto you.
◊ He loves you, and he swears this is out of (mostly) good intention <3?
◊ i- i think i lost it somewhere in the middle
Rantaro Amami
◊ Literally, the most understanding, supportive, and comforting man you will ever meet and have as an emotional support boyfriend when you struggle with humans and just... humans.
◊ For first impressions, Rantaro will remain as understanding as he already had been, and is. If he visibly sees you struggle with the reactions of others to specific situations, he'd never start up shit, as well as assume you mean something bad immediately. He will always give you the benefit of the doubt, and the fact that he loves you may have been a factor — but I swear, he does this with everyone else too.
◊ If you ever responded/reacted to something that normal human beings usually respond differently, Rantaro would definitely notice, but he wouldn't say anything until he had his suspicions confirmed — and until someone else decided to get pissy or upset about it.
◊ If you ever get into a conflict with someone about how you seem emotionless( even though you're really not ), Rantaro will always be there to defend you and back you up. The first thing he would do is try to understand your side, then their side, and then try to see how the two fit together, and how you both grew to have your reaction.
◊ Most conflicts and arguments end peacefully, at fault to Rantaro's experience of being exposed to many personality types(his sisters), and completely normal and human struggles(also his sisters).
◊ Though, notice how I said most.
◊ Some situations and arguments, really can't be resolved, nor looked past—especially when personal, and very strong feelings are involved. You really can't avoid it when people are still grieving.
◊ But even so, Rantaro will remain a mediator and a peace-keeper until the end; he doesn't and never has enjoyed violence or super over-the-line arguments.
— "N- no, I a- actually don't understand...! I didn't mean to-"
"Oh, shut up! No one's believing that crap!" The shock and the hurt from their words had visibly affected you — the disbelief and their rage hadn't done anything to calm your anxiety from not having understood what had been wrong.
Rantaro would intrude on the one-sided argument, a gentle yet nervous smile on his face as he tried to put some distance between you and the person who had gotten offended. "Hey now, I understand you're upset, but it'll be safer for all of us if you don't insult them. I'm sure this was just a big misunderstanding... let's sit down, yeah?"
◊ If you ever feel frustrated or upset about a past interaction with someone he had reacted in a way you hadn't expected, feel free to expect Rantaro to be there for you with his comfort. Whether it be assurances, hugs, or just a listening ear; he'll be there for you.
◊ He may not understand your struggles to an extreme extent, but he will try his best to empathize with you and to understand you; and if he doesn't? That's okay. Because he still has cuddles + listening to you rant as his plan B solution on getting your frustrations out.
Kokichi Ouma
◊ Kokichi... doesn't understand you at all.
◊ It's second nature to him to react abnormally or to over-exaggerate towards something that probably shouldn't have gained a reaction like that — but that doesn't necessarily mean that had been his true reaction from the start.
◊ They're lies, well, most of it.
◊ When Kokichi notices your confusion, or if you come to him about your frustrations; he won't believe you at first. It's a stupid thing to not trust someone about, yeah, but he lies all the time about this kind of thing — so not only would he feel terrible if you were telling the truth about your real struggle, he would-
◊ Oh, you're telling the truth?
◊ ... Oh.
◊ Well, of course, he feels horrible for his past faked reactions and lies. A part of him believes it to be his fault entirely, whilst the larger, louder part of him believes it to be someone else's fault.
◊ And he's a liar; so of course, he'll lie. To himself, at least.
◊ "Wha—!? Who's been confusing my beloved? Gimme names and I'll get 'em!"
◊ He's not much of a listener, nor a person who really just... talks about serious shit. So despite not wanting to talk directly about serious things, as well as not being the best at comforting you in a 'serious' manner, he has his own little way of dimming your frustrations with human beings.
◊ He won't show it, nor will he mention it, but he does try to be more transparent with you; as well as tries to be less confusing when talking and/or interacting with you.
◊ The reactions are dimmed down, and despite that, he still continues to be silly and still continues to joke around — just not in a way that'll frustrate or confuse you(ish). He's all about getting reactions out of you, especially frustration but, he wouldn't purposely augment your anxiety about this type of thing.
◊ ^^ If he was to do that, however, he would always tell you it was a lie afterwards. After all— despite enjoying the thought of you thinking of him all week—he doesn't want you stressing and/or overthinking about it for the rest of the week.
◊ Kokichi definitely feels guilty of your struggles, however, they may have not blossomed directly from him, he still feels horrible for triggering it? You? — look- what he's trying to say is, he feels awful, and he hadn't meant to make your struggle with understanding other human beings, worse.
◊ Though there are times he does find your confusion and gullibility to be sort of entertaining in a way, but he would constantly feel bad about finding pleasure in your frustration.
◊ Kind of bad.
— "Nishishi! I'm just saying, if someone took a fat shit on my lawn, I would thank them—"
"Wh- Seriously.. ? Why??"
◊ He finds it hilarious how you seem to take his words to heart, but of course, fun comes to an end as he says—
— "Nope! It's a lie!"
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slasherhaven · 4 years ago
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May I request Headcanons or a oneshot with Michael and Brahms with a s/o who’s an artist but they mostly sketch them a lot?
Decided to do it for all the slashers but here ya go!
The Slashers with an Artist S/O Who Likes to Sketch Them:
Thomas Hewitt
Thomas loves your art. Thomas loves everything that you do. Thomas just loves you.
Luda May also loves your art. Might even hang certain pieces up around the house to ‘brighten the place up’ like a proud parent.
But when you start doing sketches of Thomas? Oh boy he just melts with absolute adoration.
No matter how many times you tell him that he’s handsome and that you love him, he’s going to have the tiniest bit of doubt about your physical attraction to him.
But seeing all these sketches of him like you think he is appearance is worth immortalising in your work, he’s in awe.
Some or with the mask, some are without. Your favourites are the ones without. Normally Thomas finds it difficult to look at his face, whether it be in the mirror or in a photo, but this he can look at.
You didn’t change anything to make his face more...appealing. You just thought it was attractive enough to draw and that makes it easier for him to look at for some reason.
Michael Myers
Michael acts very neutral towards your art, just like he does with everything else.
He’s more likely to admire it when you aren’t around. Yes, he does actually like your art. Quite a lot actually.
When he finds the first sketch of him, you aren’t around. He’s a little surprised but examines it closely. You did catch him though, finding him distracted by the sketch and smiling to yourself as he seemed to approve of it.
Michael would never ask you to show him your work or the sketches of him but he definitely goes looking for them, wanting to see what you’ve been working on or how you’ve drawn him this time.
He knows when you’re sketching him. Sensing your eyes on him as you sit on the couch with your sketchpad in your lap. 
He probably won’t mention it but he won’t move or leave the room, letting you work in silence.
Jason Voorhees
Loves your art a lot! And will let you keep them all around the cabin. Every time he sees them he thinks of you and it makes give the cabin a homely feel.
Could just admire your art all day, he loves it!
But then he discovers that you have various sketches of him? Omg, that’s too much for his heart to take.
Jason is in awe as he examines them, admiring every detail.
He noticed that most of him are of him wearing his mask and he realises that most of these must have been done when you were silently watching him and he hadn’t even noticed.
But a few of them are of him without his mask. No matter how long you are together, he’s still going to be a little insecure about his appearance, but this is just another thing that shows how much you really do love him.
Brahms Heelshire
Brahms loves your art and how passionate you are about it.
Ever since you got to the house he had been admiring you and your artwork.
He loves watching the concentration on your face when you’re drawing or painting. He loves watching your delicate hand as you add little details. And, of course, he loves the outcome of each piece.
When you start to do more pieces of Brahms? He absolutely melts.
You must love him a whole lot if you spend so much time sketching him? God, he loves you too!
It can be difficult to get Brahms to just keep a calm arura on many days. Something about him always seeming chaotic or fidgety.
But he could see and watch you draw for longer than even he realises. It’s all worth it to see the outcome of how you’ve drawn him.
He may not be a great artist but he’s had time to do some sketches of his own and has picked up some skills here and there. So he might just sketch you in return.
Will pose for you if you ask him too.
Bo Sinclair
Bo likes your art a lot more than he lets on. He’ll give you a smile and a casual compliment when you show him a piece of work.
One of your smaller doodles will go missing. He took a liking and likes to keep it in his pocket. Shut up, he’s not going soft!
He has a huge smirk on his face when he sees the sketches you have done of him.
You must really like him, huh? God, you must be downright obsessed with him, darlin’.
Will tease you about it, making you blush, but he actually is flattered. He smiles whenever he sees a new sketch of himself but that quickly turns into a smirk when you catch him.
Vincent Sinclair
Vincent adores your art!
But when he first sees the sketches of himself, he’s both a little taken back and excited.
He has no idea why you would want to draw him but he’s glad that you did. It just makes him feel so loved and makes him love you even more.
It’s what give him to courage to show you the sketches he made of you.
Cue the two of you sitting together, smiling like idiots, as you share your artwork of each other.
Whenever he catches you drawing him, your gaze flickering from the page to his figure, he can’t help but blush a little.
Vincent’s workroom becomes your shared workspace for your art. Just filled with sketches of each other. Luckily Bo doesn’t wander down there much otherwise you’d both get teased quite a bit.
Lester Sinclair
Adores your art!
And tells you that all the time!
He’s always complimenting anything you make because he really does love it all.
His face turns red but his heart grows ten times the size when he sees the sketches you did of him.
He absolutely loves them though!
Lester doesn’t really know why you would want to draw him so much but he certainly had no complaints. The more, the better!
Yes, he would like to see them all. Anything you do and then present to him, he will accept it and respond with lots of enthusiasm. He loves them all so much!
After a bad day, seeing your newest sketch of him just puts a smile on his face instantly.
Bubba Sawyer
Bubba loves everything you do, he thinks you’re absolutely flawless, so of course he loves your art. He could never do anything like that, it’s so impressive!
ChopTop and Nubbins are also big fans of your art.
But Bubba is the one who gets to see your art the most and he feels a sense of pride at that.
He’ll admire any work you show him, he loves them all!
But when you show him the sketches you’ve done of him, he blushes a cute shade of pink and he babbles compliments that you can’t really understand. But you get the general idea and it makes you smile.
Wants to see every sketch you do of him. He just loves them and they make him feel loved.
Billy Lenz
Even before you knew he was in the house, he was admiring your art. He liked it a lot, almost as much as he liked you.
He loves when you show him your pieces, happily taking from you to get a closer look.
Gives you plenty of compliments on it.
But then you start sketching him or he just so happens to finally find those sketches? Oh he loves them!
Can he keep this one???
Billy is definitely flattered by your sketches and would like to see anymore you do.
Will tease you a little but in a very playful way and with a smile on his face, letting you know that he loves it so...please don’t stop making them!!
Otis Driftwood
Otis is curious as soon as he finds out you’re an artist. So is he!
If you’re shy about showing your work at first, he convinces you by showing you some of his as well. 
So the two of you can share your work with each other and get each other’s opinions. You’re both very supportive of each other’s work.
Once he learns that you have done plenty of sketches of him he has two main emotions.
One, he becomes a smug bastard. Look at you drawing him, how long have you been staring at him to get all the details right, eh? Like he hasn’t got his own sketches of you.
Two, he would be genuinely flattered that you’ve put so much time and effort into sketches of him.
He wants to see all the sketches you’ve done of him.
Otis will show you the various sketches that he’s done of you in return. Wait! Is that one of you naked?!..maybe...and he thinks it’s one of his best pieces. It’s definitely his favourite...
Baby Firefly
As soon as you start showing Baby your art or when she first sees it, she loves it!
If you ever felt shy about showing her your work, that won’t last for long. She’s so supportive instantly.
She’ll give you a whole lot of compliments! Seriously, Baby will absolutely shower you in compliments and praise for your work. Always encouraging you in everything you do.
But you get even more compliments for your sketches of her. They’re amazing! You make her look so good!
Wants to see every sketch you do of her!
Will absolutely pose for you! And in various costumes! Time to get more creative!
Yautja
The Yautja may seem more a species focused on combat and the sort but they can still have an appreciation for art. Especially more elder or mature Yautja.
He also admires your passion for it.
Will always praise your work, giving you a proud purr and a gentle pat on the head. It may be a patronising gesture among humans but it’s a sign of genuine affection from your alien mate, he thinks you’re just adorable.
When he first sees the sketches of himself, he’ll have a smirk on his face. Or the Yautja version of a smirk.
He’s honoured that you’d sketch actually. You must think highly of him to bother sketching him at all, especially this much.
Will never get bored of you showing him the sketches you do. Loves every single one of them and is filled with more pride with each one you show him.
May tease you just a little but always with love and never in a way that would actually upset you.
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astro-rain · 3 years ago
Text
delicate; b.barnes
chapter twenty - “collateral damage”
delicate masterlist
word count: 2k
synopsis: bucky and y/n deal with the emotional fallout of her departure from wakanda.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
warnings: mildly suggestive content, nothing explicit, 18+ readers please.
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The flight home was wretched. Sleeping on the jet was impossible. Every time she shut her eyes she saw his face. If her mind did somehow manage to drift off to sleep, Y/N dreamed of him and woke up trying not to rip her hair out.
"We can still stay in contact, right?" Bucky asked as they were walking back from the waterfall.
They had left their catharsis by the water, still upset, but now calmer and more logical.
"I don't think so..."
"What? Why? It's not like we don't have the technology to do it."
"I know, but.." Y/N trailed off, trying to think of a sensible excuse.
Obviously they could stay in contact if they wanted. But any kind of phone call would be able to be tracked or recorded. That, and she didn't want him to hang on to someone who betrayed him. She couldn't imagine the guilt she'd have hearing Bucky's "I miss you's" or "Baby doll's" from miles away, knowing she lied to him.
"You don't even have a phone..."
"That's an easy problem to fix."
"I know... I just think you should focus on the rest of your healing, and... you know, I'll have a lot of work once I get back...." she took a breath. "I don't know if it's super healthy for us to cling on to each other when it... may be better to move on..."
"Move on?"
"Yeah..."
Bucky stopped walking and turned to face her. They both stood still and he stared at her, confused, as if he was trying to figure something out. He knew her well. She was scared he'd see right through her.
"So let me get this straight. When you're here we can talk all the time and... plenty of other things. But when you're away we can't even call each other?"
"Bucky..."
"That's not all, is it?"
She sighed. "I'm just... worried... about- like-... getting in trouble. If someone overhears or tracks a phone call...What if someone finds out where the 'Winter Soldier' is and comes here to exact revenge?"
That was partly true. She'd never want anyone bad to find out where he was. But no one was tracking her phone calls; she wasn't really a person of interest. In all likelihood, it probably wasn't something she'd have to be terribly worried about.
However, if anyone overheard or saw Bucky on the phone, they'd know it was her, and she doubted anything she could say would convince them that she didn't tell him about the arm.
Or maybe no one would find out. She just didn't want to take the chance. The last time she took a chance, this happened. She wasn't willing to do it again.
He stared at her with dejected eyes. "You know you don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay."
She rested her hands on his forearms and laughed sadly. "Bucky, I don't think I'm ever not gonna worry about you."
He was already in her heart. She didn't think he could leave now.
He let his eyelids fall shut. "I really don't want you to go."
She closed her eyes as well and let her forehead rest against the top of his chest.
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you either. But you're gonna do so well, even without me. And every day I'll wake up and think 'wow this man is sexy and has good coping mechanisms! I wish I was him!'"
In the midst of his sadness, she made him laugh. It was a despondent, quiet laugh, but she managed to lift his mood all the same - even if just a little bit. She'd always make everything better.
He gazed down at her, eyes heavy, and without even thinking about it... "I love you."
She looked down at the grass below her feet. "Buck..."
"I do. I'm sorry but I do."
She wrapped her arms around the middle of his back, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in tight, one arm up her back and the other cradling her head.
In the tiniest whisper, she let the truth flow out from her chest. "I love you, too."
The clouds provoked her, so peaceful and quiet, while her head was a big, loud mess. Y/N leaned her head on the window, glaring at them and wondering if she should've said what she did. That she loved him. Internally, she debated whether or not it would make things worse. But she wasn't going to see him again; she might as well have left him with the truth.
Time was lost to her. She thought she would be landing soon, but she couldn't be sure. She couldn't be sure of anything anymore.
-
Bucky sat at the lake - their lake - and just stared into the water. It felt so strange to him, that she was gone. One minute she was here and now he was just... alone.
It was so quiet. Too quiet. Of course being alone was quiet, but after Y/N left, the air just felt empty.
He wished he could talk to her. Whenever he was upset, all he wanted to do was talk to her.
"So, is this... d-do we say goodbye now?" he asked when they got back to his hut.
"Yeah..." she sighed. "yeah."
"Are you going back to Europe?"
"Yes. Belgium. Haven't been in my apartment in forever."
"Belgium," he wondered. "It's nice there. Safe. What are you gonna do for work?"
"Probably just continue where I left off on my research. Fancy brain stuff, ya'know?"
He grinned, proud. "My smart girl."
She looked around her, as if watching for something. Or someone.
"Buck, I think I have to go now."
"Just one more minute? Please. I wanna remember you like this. Not sad and crying."
Y/N smiled, grabbed his hands, and kissed his knuckles. Both flesh and metal. Because they were both part of him and she loved him. All of him.
Then, she placed both his hands on either side of her face. Softly she said, "remember me like this," before bringing their lips together.
He looked down at his vibranium arm, twisting his wrist to watch how the plates whirred.
Since the first moment he put it on, he had been using it to be gentle, loving, and affectionate. This arm was good. This arm wasn't used for death and destruction and violence.
With this arm he held her, kissed her, loved her. And now she was gone. And now it felt like dead weight.
— ONE WEEK LATER —
Whenever Bucky looked at his bionic arm he saw her. It began to make him sad.
His hair had been getting longer and longer. He could cut it now, now that he had two arms. But every time he tried, all he could do was stare at the arm and hear her voice in his head.
"That's your heart. That's you. You're all heart, Buck. You're so deeply, wonderfully human. All the way to your bones."
That was the first time he expressed real distress about missing a limb, he recalled. That was the first time they kissed. Funny how that transition was made, funny how she could remedy some of his worst emotions.
His days were boring and uneventful and nearly silent. He sat alone a lot. There was no laughter anymore, none of her laughter. There was no more holding, no more kissing, no more loving. The arm just felt... wrong? Like what it was born from had died.
-
In Belgium, Y/N felt incredibly uncomfortable. She knew she just needed to adjust to the change, after getting to used to life in Wakanda - life with Bucky. Her vacant apartment didn't feel as homey.
It had been, what, a year and a half? About a year and a half since she had been home. About a year and a half spent with Bucky.
Her apartment seemed so... barren. Void of life. And cold. She was used to the Wakandan heat. When she closed and locked the door behind her, she looked at the golden square that the sun cast through her window. It reminded her of that heat.
Y/N sighed, cursing her very own hippocampus for providing her with memory.
"God, I wish you had an AC in here."
She was in his bed. Well, she was on top of him, straddling him, in his bed.
"Is it hot or is it just you?" he joked, poking at her sides and trying to not pout at the loss of her lips.
"Ha. Ha," she rolled her eyes and brought her face back to his.
"Wait," Bucky said and gently pulled her face away to examine it. "You are a little warm."
"It's okay," she quickly tried to resume their previous activity.
"Hold on-" he got cut off as Y/N kept pecking his lips over and over.
"I have-"
Kiss.
"An idea-"
Kiss.
Lightly he pushed her shoulders away, nearly giggling. "Stop it! Just wait a second!"
Bashful, she conceded. "What?"
"Just-" he reached out and put the vibranium hand on her forehead, effectively cooling her down a bit. She closed her eyes and flashed a goofy smile.
"That feels nice."
Then, suddenly, he wrapped both his arms around her back and flipped them over so that he was on top. He smirked.
"Oh yeah, you just wait."
She hung her keys up and took a deep breath, absorbing the emptiness. This was her new normal; she just had to get used to it.
-
"I just- I don't really... I don't think I need it," Bucky tried to explain.
Want it, he thought. I don't want it. I can't stand to even look at it.
"You don't need it?" Shuri asked.
"Yeah, it-uh it takes a bit of getting used to and I think I just need a break. And I wouldn't want to damage it so... figured it's better with you."
He was better at lying than he gave himself credit for.
"Okay," Shuri accepted his answer and began to detach the bionic arm. "But you let me know if it's uncomfortable or painful anywhere so I can adjust it. Alright?"
"Alright. Thank you."
Finally he was rid of it- that cursed metal weighing down on his soul. Maybe now he could focus on other things. Maybe. It didn't seem likely...
However, as the days drew closer, it did make him slightly - only slightly -  less nervous about the trigger word experiment. Now he didn't have a weapon attached to him. Though he reckoned he was the weapon.
No. He wasn't supposed to think like that. He knew Y/N wouldn't want him to. He knew she would say something like, "You aren't what they tried to make you into. You're you and all HYDRA's awfulness can't change the good at your core. My Bucky. You're perfect."
He'd deny to high heavens that he was the farthest thing from perfect. Bucky had no clue how she could say such things. But her conviction never faltered.
Soon enough the day came. The experiment. All he could think about was how she was supposed to be there. He didn't want to do this without her.
But now, he found himself sitting at at a fire on some mountain with one of the Doras. It was dark and it was scary. He was scared.
"It is time," said Ayo.
Nevermind want. He wasn't sure if he could do this without her.
"Are you sure about this?"
"I won't let you hurt anyone."
He was still scared. He still didn't trust himself. But, staring into the fire, he thought back to a past conversation.
"You don't have to trust yourself. That's hard enough as it is and Hydra didn't make it any easier. You just trust me, alright? ... And I will not let anything happen to you."
Bucky didn't have to trust himself. He just had to trust her. Even if she wasn't here, even if she was on another continent, all he had to do was trust her. When Ayo began reciting the trigger words, that was the one thing thing he held onto. The one thing that kept him afloat.
His trust in her.
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delicate taglist: @emmojoy @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @small-death-and-codeine @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts @talktomeaboutthestars @surrealpsycho @headheartbellarke @bubbly-moonwarrior @bluemoon-icecream @buckeyecreates @augustbucky @itsthemaree @undiadeestos
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soldmysoultootomeboys · 4 years ago
Text
The brothers if MC was scared of them
Lucifer
You don't try to be. Really. 
But when he shifts to his demon form you can't help but flinch. Memories of sharp claws and dark wings fill your vision as you are reminded of all the times he had tried to kill you
He feels you freeze beside him 
'Mc are you scared of me?"
Your apologetic look is the only answer he needs
He'll pretend he's okay with this. He's not.
You would never know though. He never shows his emotions. While on the outside he hasn't changed in the slightest on the inside he's thinking of ways to gain your trust. 
It's little things you might not even notice at first.
He stops transforming around you. While before he would use it whenever he got angry now he stays human unless its absolutely necessary. 
When he lectures you he keeps his tone calm and even, only ever using his anger on Mammon. 
If you still show no signs of changing he would probably make you join him for some task. He could do it himself but he wants the two of you to have a chance to talk without showing how he really feels. 
Mammon
At first he would be really happy about it
'Haha human view the glory of the great and powerful Mammon!'
But if you start avoiding him he gets really upset. He misses how close you had been and how you had spent so much time together. 
His first solution is to force you to spend time with him. He always manages to show up where you are or he simply tries to drag you off on a new adventure before you can protest. He spends the entire time trying to show off how cool and sweet he is
He'll try to hide that he's doing this to impress you but it's super obvious.
He's even more protective at this stage. 
A demon bullying you? Nuh uh not on his watch. Someone looked at you wrong? He'll fight them.
Showing how much he cares about you while actively fighting people who look at you wrong might be counterproductive but he means the best.
If you’re still scared of him after all this he might actually cry
Super stubborn. His last move would be to camp in your room all night so you'll tell him what the problem is and maybe after you guys could play some fun games. 
If nothing works he'll avoid you from this moment on. He doesn't want you to feel scared ever so if that means he has to watch from the background he'll accept that. 
Levi
You’re scared of him??? Sure he got a little mad during the competition but he made up for it! He even made a pact with you! Did it mean nothing?
I mean Lucifer tried to kill you twice and Belphie actually succeeded. It’s just not fair!
Blames this on him being an otaku
Would call you a normie and make fun of you to hide how sad he really is. It doesn't work. It's super obvious he misses you.
Poor boy would be depressed and mope in his tub while complaining to Henry 2.0
Ruri-chan is the only one who understands him. 3D friends just betray him.
In actuality he just misses his Henry.
Satan
He’s the avatar of wrath, people being scared of him is kind of his thing.
Normally he wouldn’t care at all about what some human thinks of him. Hell, if it annoyed him enough he might even go out of his way to kick their ass. But since it's you who running away at the sight of him it's a whole different story
He might show off how gentle he is around animals or the care he treats his books with. He's also less likely to get angry with you around. 
Sure he'll still feel mad but he won't yell as much and will try to keep his anger to an absolute minimum. 
If there are other people around he'll try to engage you in conversations or debates where you can speak your mind. 
He’s not one to give up easily so he’ll bide his time in his room until your ready to talk to him again
Asmodeus 
Darling why are you scared of him? He's the most beautiful creature around. If your going to be scared of anyone be scared of Levi's dry skin
He's so narcissistic that he would pretend it doesn't bother him at all. He puts himself above all others. Who cares if someone else doesn't like him, it’s your loss really. 
He actually misses you. What is he supposed to do without his shopping partner??? Go alone? Impossible
Two words: Retail Therapy
You thought he bought a lot before? Wrong
Now he buys so much stuff you're not even sure where he puts it. His room isn't that big.
If he got drunk he would probably manage to find you and cry about it. There's a decent chance that he would be so blacked out that he wouldn't remember in the morning.
If he's still in your room at this point he might think something happened last night that definitely didn't.
Beelzebub
This man totally gets it. 
He's huge, even for a demon. He towers over most of his brothers and he's absolutely ripped. If he wanted to he could break you like a toothpick
If the two of you aren't close he will just avoid you. If you are friends he'll be very sad. 
He’ll leave when you enter a room and when he has to interact with you he’d hunch his shoulders and try to look smaller and less threatening
He cares about his family and friends a lot so one of them beings scared of him would be devastating. The one most likely to try to talk it out with you because he loves you that much.
Takes avoiding to a whole new level. He won’t even look at you during dinner because he knows how scary his face can be when he’s fighting Mammon for the last fire newt sandwich
If you tell him what’s wrong he’d be more than willing to try and change himself for you
Just because he’s avoiding you don’t think that he’ll stop interacting with you entirely
You might start finding your favorite brand of chips tucked into your desk or a new box of candy where an old one used to be
During the classes you share he will no longer be next to you but instead just out of your line of sight, a threatening force to any demon who might think of taking a bite of the exchange student
Belphie
Not really surprised you're scared of him. He killed you. He would be more surprised if you weren't.
It doesn't make him any less annoyed about it. 
If your relationship with Beel is good he’d try to use that to his advantage in order to get you more comfortable with him but his go to solution is to sleep the problem away. If he just keeps treating you normally then you're sure to like him, right? 
He’d lay his head on your lap when you sit down or curl up against your shoulder in order for a quick nap
This would last as long as he was able to sleep through your fear. When it's obvious that this isn’t working he’d go to plan B
Purposefully create problems that require you to spend time with him in order to fix them. Whether it works or not he’s going to find a way to rope you into his schemes
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chewiedon · 4 years ago
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LOOKING FOR YOU | RUI
no rui slander here also this is platonic.
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The exact definition of a family changes from person to person. Families can be ruled by money, fear, wealth, or respect. Rui didn't care about whether or not his family was satisfied with their roles, as long as his eldest sibling was happy he could care less.
"Hey, hey (Y/N)-san," A small boy in a white kimono tugged on a taller figure's sleeve to gain their attention.
"What is it, little brother?" The figure spoke to the small boy, the scenery around them unfolding.
"It's almost midnight, that man will come to give me my rank soon. I'm so excited (Y/N)-san, I'll be able to become even stronger and protect you and our family!" The boy exclaimed, his blood red and turquoise eyes were beaming with anticipation.
"I'm very proud of you, Rui," They lifted their hand and placed it on the boys head, ruffling their hand into Rui's snow white hair.
"You don't need to protect me though, I don't want to make my little brother go through all that just for me," They started.
"Eh? But (Y/N)-" Rui got cut off.
"As your eldest sibling it's my job to make sure you're safe, right? I'll do my best, even if you are stronger than me. I won't disappoint you!" (Y/N) exclaimed with eagerness, a smile decorating their face.
A menacing presence entered the forest, and Rui seemed to have disappeared from their side. (Y/N) was left in the dark forest, with no company except the spiders that crawled all over the forest floor. They stood there until demon king, Muzan Kibitsuji with Rui next to him. His left eye had kanji etched into it. (Y/N) lowered themselves onto the ground and prostrated themself in front of the great demon.
"It's an honor to be in your presence, Lower moon six, and my lord," (Y/N) said in a monotone voice, as their forehead rested on the back of their palms.
The lord said a couple words to Rui before vanishing into the darkness. A smile then broke out on the boy's face when he saw his older sibling.
"Hey hey! Did you see that?" He ran to the larger demon, who was making their way to stand on their own legs now.
"I did,"
"You see this? I'm part of the twelve kizuki now! How cool is that?" Rui jumped, filled with a laugh filled with pure joy.
A demon wasn't supposed to feel emotions, but bury them deep down. Emotions only get in the way of fights, and becoming stronger, but as long as these two had each other they were unstoppable.
"It's time for dinner, Rui. Let's go home," (Y/N) took the smaller boy's hand in his and walked into the forest, before a soft crunching interrupted them.
"Demon slayers, I'll take care of them, okay?" They reassured, before letting go of the boy's hand and heading in the opposite direction.
"But— (Y/N)!" Rui called out.
"You need to save up all your strength, I'll bring them back to the house to have a big feast to celebrate you being part of the twelve kizuki!" (Y/N) waved back at their little brother as they walked off, their lips turned into a grin. "Just leave it all to me! I'll be home soon!"
And they did just as they said, they brought home the fresh bodies of three demon slayers. The family was spoiled with a feast, the majority of their siblings didn't eat at all, but that left more for Rui to gain more strength with his newfound power.
Everybody loved (Y/N), through all the fear and the acting nobody could resist their soft aura. Love was something that was very rare in this pathetic excuse of a family, but Rui and (Y/N) had something beyond special. It felt almost human, and it felt so nice and warm despite the painful chill that the forest had carried
Everything was going so well.
Another couple months and he was already Lower Moon Five, he had so much potential and Kibitsuji had given him so much praise.
Did karma catch up with them? Did God see that they were sinners living in harmony and it had to come to an end?
It was just another normal night, but before we knew it... She was dead.
(Y/N) was connected to everybody in the family, so they would know exactly when somebody got cut off.
It all happened so fast, it was the Hashira.
They didn't send one, but two Hashira.
"So unfair, unfair," (Y/N) complained, running into the forest while desperately searching for Rui.
He was found, his headless body hopelessly stretching its arms out for something. Staggering back and forth trying to keep on its feet.
"Rui!" (Y/N) had exclaimed, reaching out for the headless boy and embracing him tightly. mumbling his name over and over again as if some kind of prayer.
"Rui, Rui, Rui, Rui. I'm here, it's okay," They promised.
It was not okay, all (Y/N) could feel was the growing despair and grief building up inside their stomach. At this point the two didn't care about the demon slayer and Hashira only within feet of the scene. Rui's head lay a few feet away from where (Y/N) had stood embracing his headless body which returned the embrace just as desperate. The eldest sibling lifted what was left of the head into his arms and kissed his forehead despairingly. Continuing to repeat the boys' name like a mantra.
"Rui, Rui, Rui, Rui, please,"
(Y/N) had tried to put what remained of his head back onto the headless body before the rest could turn into dust, their shaking hands hardly being able to remain steady enough to connect them.
It was too late.
All Rui was able to do was embrace his sibling one more time before he fell into the clutches of hell. His entire demeanor changed in the matter of seconds, the ungodly amount of bloodlust and jealousy sinking into something grievously upsetting.
(Y/N) shook violently as Rui's being faded out of existence, unable to make sobs or even cry it was so overwhelming. All (Y/N) could do was sit up and lift their head to the sky, patiently waiting for them to be finished off as well. Even though it was short lived, these feelings would never be forgotten and always etched into the minds of the audience that was present. The scene left the smaller demon slayer in grief and tears, experiencing unimaginable despair and nostalgia.  It was only mere moments before their head hit the floor with a small 'thump'. Warm tears decorated their face before they too were dust.
Every good thing must come to an end.
~
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wrenhyperfixates · 4 years ago
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Not as Bad as You Think
Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: After a bad grade on a test, Peter is being very hard on himself. Loki helps you cheer him up. Warnings: none A/N: Enjoy :)
Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord @birdgirl90 @myraiswack @mythicalgarlicknot @what-a-flammable-heart @marvelouslovely​
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think,” you comforted Peter, patting his back.
“You’re right,” he replied, voice muffled by the pillow he was hiding his face in. “It’s probably worse.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
The disgruntled teenager rolled over onto his back and gave you a look somewhere between annoyed and upset. He’d come home to the Tower saying he failed a big History test he’d had. Despite him saying he failed, you were pretty sure he was just over-exaggerating. The boy kept up a nearly perfect gpa and was an Avenger. It was no easy feat, and you knew how much pressure he put on himself to keep up his good grades. You wished he’d go a little easier on himself.
“Besides,” you continued when he said nothing, “even if it is bad, everyone’s allowed one not so great grade every once in a while. You’re still doing great, kid.”
“I guess,” he mumbled halfheartedly, smooshing his face against the pillow again.
You frowned. During the time Peter had been on the team, he’d become something of a little brother to you. You hated to see him down like this. It was easy to remember all the normal pressures of being a teen, and he had the pressures of being a superhero on top of that. Sometimes you wished he took a day just to be a kid. Though, when you said that, you meant more of him taking some time off to have fun, not stress about his grades.
“I know what will fix this,” you said with a smile.
“Cookies?” he said, peeking up at you again.
“Yup. And hot chocolate. How does that sound, Petey?”
“Well, I don’t know I deserve it,” he started before seeing the stern look on your face, telling him to ease up himself. “But yeah, I want some.”
You stood and ruffled his hair. “Coming right up.”
Taking your frustrations out on the cookie dough you were mixing and cocoa you were whisking, you tried to figure out a way to get Peter to enjoy his youth. You were so focused, you didn’t notice when Loki came in, and he was able to snag one of the freshly baked treats before you could smack his hand away.
“Naughty Loki. Those are for Peter,” you giggled, poking him in the side.
“And you can’t spare just this one for me, darling?”
“I suppose you can be my taste-tester,” you grinned, giving him a kiss before he could take another bite.
“Thank you, my love.” You smiled at your boyfriend as he polished off his treat and licked his lips in delight. He pulled you into a hug and rested his head on yours. “Delicious as always, darling.”
“Thank you, Loki, but I have to keep my eye on the hot chocolate.”
“Allow me to guess, that is for the spiderling, too?” he inquired, grabbing a mug out of the cabinet for you to pour the warm liquid into.
“Mhm,” you replied. “He had a bad day, and I was trying to cheer him up. Nothing was working, though, so I’m hoping these treats will.”
Loki knew how close you were with Peter, and he loved seeing your older sibling instincts take over, despite not actually being related to the boy. Admittedly, he was glad Thor didn’t act the way you did. If that was in his nature, Loki was sure the God of Thunder would be entirely overbearing. He had started acting a bit more brotherly recently, however, which was nice. Of course, all that just meant Loki wasn’t exactly the best equipped to help sibling problems.
Loki frowned as he wiped a few spilt drops of hot chocolate from the counter. Your brow was furrowed in concentration and thought, and he pulled you back to kiss the lines of worry away. He hated seeing you upset or distraught in any way. After all you’d done for him in showing him he was worthy for love, he never wanted you to experience a single bad emotion. He knew it was part of being human, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. And he could do everything in his power to keep those negative feelings at a minimum.
“Darling, why don’t you just take it easy. I will go take these things to the spiderling and have a chat to cheer him up,” he told you, rubbing up and down your arms. “I will take care of it.”
“I don’t know, Loki. Nothing I was saying was working. And I feel kinda bad to let you take care of this while I put my feet up.”
“Well then, allow me to handle this, and you can make me some of that delicious hot chocolate.”
“Fine.” You smiled at the way he was so concerned, not just for you, but for Peter, too. And of course you’d be more than happy to make him some cocoa, even if he was just suggesting that so you would take it a bit easier. “Just tell me if he’s still feeling down, alright?”
“We have a deal, darling. Leave it to me.”
And so, the trickster god found himself outside Peter’s door, trying to figure out what exactly to say to him. Before the drink could get cold, he just knocked and hoped the right words would come to him. Peter beckoned him in, and Loki walked inside, cookies and cocoa in hand.
“Oh, hey Loki,” Peter said, sounding sad. Though, he did perk up when he saw the snacks.
“Greetings, spiderling. I hear you are having some troubles. Perhaps I could help?”
“I dunno.” He took a cookie off the plate and dunked it into his drink. Then he offered Loki one, which he gladly accepted. “There’s not much that can be done. Unless...”
“Unless?”
“Can your magic turn back time?”
“Sadly, no,” he laughed. “But maybe you’d just like to talk about what it is that is plaguing you?”
“I guess,” he sighed. “I got a bad grade on a test. And I studied so, so hard. I thought I did way better, but I just didn’t. I’m supposed to be able to handle all the pressure and stress, but I just don’t think I can. I need to try harder, do better.”
“Come now, spiderling. From what I hear, you are doing wonderful in your classes.” Loki hesitantly pat the boy on his back. “There is only one life to live, and it is not very long. You should be enjoying each minute to its fullest.”
“Haven’t you resurrected like three times, though? And aren’t you thousands of years old?”
“Regardless,” Loki waved the comment off, “none of it is worth it if you are not enjoying life. You are doing wonderful, we could not be more proud of you. Just be proud of yourself and a little kinder to yourself, too.”
“You really think so?”
“I may be the God of Lies,” Loki chuckled, “but I assure you, I could not be more honest in this moment.”
“Well then, if I’m supposed to be doing stuff I enjoy, do you maybe want to do a movie marathon?”
“That sounds absolutely perfect. You may pick what we watch, too.”
“Yes!” he cheered. “I hardly ever get to pick!”
As Peter set off to grab pillows and blankets and set up the movie, after finishing his treats of course, Loki waltzed into the kitchen with a sly grin on his face. He walked up behind you and hugged you. You jumped a little at first, but quickly recognized the arms encircling your waist. You leaned back into his chest and smiled up at him.
“It went well, I take it,” you said.
“Indeed it did. In fact, we are having a movie marathon. You are, of course, welcome to join.”
You decided to take him up on that offer and handed him his hot chocolate. You made some popcorn, too, and put it into two bowls; one for Peter, and one for you and Loki to share. Peter sat on the floor by the TV where he’d set up the original Star Wars trilogy to play, and you and your boyfriend snuggled together on the couch. About halfway through the second movie, a thought occurred to you.
“Hey, Petey,” you said. “What grade exactly did you get on that test.”
“Oh, uh, that? Who cares,” he scoffed, though he’d gone bright red and wouldn’t meet your eye. “You wouldn’t want to hear about that.”
“Peter.”
“Fine,” he sighed. He ducked his head and mumbled his grade. “I got an 85.”
“Peter! That’s amazing!” You didn’t know whether to cheer for him or strangle him. You decided playfully hitting him with a pillow was the way to go.
“Loki! Help!” he laughed as he tried to block your attacks.
“Coming to your rescue, spiderling!”
The three of you ended up in a pillow fight, and eventually collapsed in a pile on the floor, out of breath from laughing. You smiled at your boys and realized that even if things were difficult sometimes, you always had each other’s backs. It was more than just Peter being like your little brother, or Loki being your boyfriend. You were a whole little family, and really, who could ask for more than that?
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