#like... it's obviously not? everyone knows that?? why are we pretending otherwise? it just feels uncomfy

[radley-writes]

Exactly this.

NaNoWriMo, the competition whose raison d'etre is making people write actual words for a month, declaring that you can do writing with AI is a predictably inane choice. But coaching their statement in social justice language about how banning AI is classist and ableist, now that elevates it to the sublimely dopey

[canthelpit0]

Fake?

Pairing: Matt sturniolo x Reader

Word count : 3.2k +

Summary: matt and reader have known each other since forever. And they’ve been attached at the hip since forever. But what happens when they start to just let everyone think they’re dating, since it’s too hard to convince them otherwise anyway..

Warnings: friends to lovers, fluff, (sort of) fake dating, use of y/n, sweet talk, praise kink, pet names (sweetheart, baby, etc.), gentle sex, oral fem!Reciving, unprotected, creampie, 2nd person.

(A/N: sorry this is actually so short. But I wanted to write something more fluffy for Matt.)

Being childhood friends with the triplets there was always something going on in your life.

You and Matt have been tied at the hip since you were just babies. And sometimes it felt like he was more dependent on you than his own triplet brothers.

You were always together, hanging out. Good thing you were neighbors.

Back when you were younger it was even worse. You’d always sleep in the same bed. Whether at his or your house, you were always snuggling into each other.

You’d hold hands whenever you went anywhere. You made his anxiety better.

You were always there for him. And always being there for him, you were there for his first panic attack. You didn’t know what to do, but just your presence made him calm down faster.

How close you were was questionable, It was cute when you were kids, but you were both seniors in high school now.

Obviously, you were best friends with Nick and Chris too. Yet with Matt, it was different.

He was popular around school. Well not really him. But he was known because he is a triplet. Matt out of the three of them was the most introverted so naturally, he seemed the most mysterious.

Most people also thought you two were dating. And you did nothing to stop them from thinking that. After all, why would you care about what they say?

Matt was currently pacing around in front of you though. You were sitting on your bed, propped against your headboard, as you just watched him move around.

Contrary to popular belief, The most you and Matt had ever done is kiss. And that was only because you got dared to in middle school. And it was only one time.

“C’mon y/n/n please” he whines dramatically. Matt comes over to your bed draping his upper body across your legs, his hands are clasped together dramatically.

“It’s like we’re already dating anyway.”

Matt and his brothers have a shared YouTube that they started recently, about being triplets. You have featured in it plenty of times.

People were shipping you and Matt. And people in real life also thought you were dating.

So Matt being scared to be shipped with other content creators, or any girl he was around, wanted you to pretend to be his girlfriend.

You wouldn’t even have to change anything about the way you act, really. You two already act like a couple.

“Matt” you sigh your hands finding their way to his hair. You card through it gently rubbing his scalp.

“Y/n/n please” he begs again. His upper body is draped on your legs. His lower body is kneeling on the floor next to the bed.

Matt didn’t like being shipped. But he’d been shipped with you all his life. And if he had a ‘girlfriend’ people would stop getting into his business.

“Okay” you give in. Because of course, you do. This is your long-time best friend. You can never say no to him.

He perks up. “Really??” He sits up on his knees on the floor. His arms are still draped across your lap.

“Yeah, but what does it In tail ?” You ask slowly with a slight smile creeping up your face at the way he reacted.

“Nothing, we just say we’re dating” he shrugs. You already acted like it.

“Y’know and maybe kiss sometimes” he shrugs with a slight smile. He wasn’t going to kiss you every time you were on camera, that’d feel forced. He was just gonna kiss you whenever he felt like it, and use that as a way to show affection.

“Nothing we haven’t done before” he adds jokingly.

In a rush of boldness, you pull him up by his shirt and pull him towards yourself. He gets on top of you with a teasing smile, and your lips crash together.

It’s a sweet normal kiss, there are no sparks. It’s just a simple press of lips.

Once he pulls away you chuckle. “What’re we gonna tell Nick and Chris?” You question. “Are they gonna know?”

“Just let them think we’re dating too, I'm pretty sure they’re already convinced” Matt chuckles looking down at you fondly.

He gets off of you, rolling to the side of your bed. He pulls the covers up and gets underneath. Matt pulls you down too, so that you’re lying snuggled up in his arms.

★ ★ ★

So that is how you two started dating. And that was two years ago now.

At that time they’d only had around 20k YouTube followers and way more on TikTok. And now they were at 6 million.

You were also a YouTuber and TikToker now. Except you post whenever you want to.

You’d moved out from Boston to LA with them because, oh you’re still Matt’s girlfriend.

You have your own bedroom. Though you don’t use it very much. You’ve always loved sleeping in the same bed as Matt, cuddling all night, and that never changed.

People believe you’re dating. Which was the whole point. Even your families do, with no suspicion at all.

Except what nobody knows, is that you and Matt have never done anything further than make out. Even with two years of dating. You just never cared to really.

But you did everything else, cuddle, share sweet kisses, go on dates, hang out, and be close to each other.

It was almost like you were actually dating.

And the reason why it lasted so long with barely any problems, was because you and Matt never had an eye for anyone else. It was always you two against the world.

You and Matt were sitting on the couch watching some Netflix show. Nick and Chris were not home, they were at some influencer party.

Suddenly you turn your body and get on top of Matt. You leave a long kiss on his lips, catching him off guard.

“Matt.”

He looks back at you as you sit there straddling his lap. His hands snake to your waist to hold you. Your hands resting on his shoulders.

“Mhm?” He hums in response.

“You know how we’ve done almost everything a couple would?” You ask slowly.

He raises an eyebrow at the statement but nods.

“How about we-“ you cut yourself off for a moment. You click your tongue thinking of how to word it. “Can we fuck?”

That catches Matt off guard. Since it’s once again not what he expected. He pauses looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You want me to fuck you?” He asks again seeing if he heard that correctly.

“Yes please?” You say slowly. But before you can question if it was a smart idea to ask that or not, he’s already lifting you and carrying you to your shared bedroom.

He throws you onto the bed gently. You tell at the impact but before you know it Matt’s lips are on yours again.

He pulls away for a moment to swiftly pull his shirt over his head and throws it away. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, but this was different. This felt… sensual, almost.

He gets on top of you, as you lay in the middle of the king-sized bed. He showers you with kisses, slowly trailing his kisses to your jawline and neck.

You can feel him suck on your collarbone leaving a Purple bruise. Your breath hitches as you start to feel his hand start to run over your side.

You keep looking up at him through lust heavy eyes. You watch his every move anticipating what he’ll do next.

“Want me to make you feel good sweetheart?” He teases, his tone ever so soft.

Ever since you’ve known Matt was a romantic. Almost even a hopeless romantic. But maybe it was you all along.

“Please” you breathe out. Matt pulls away slightly his eyes looking over your face. He looks fond. Like you’re the best thing to ever have happened to him.

He starts to tug on your shirt. “Can I?” He whispers. This entire thing feels so incredibly romantic and loving.

You nod, shifting slightly to let him take your shirt off.

Once his eyes fall on your bra he smiles. He smiled fondly like this was all he had been waiting for all his life.

“You’re so gorgeous.“

He mumbles under his breath. His kisses go back to your collarbone, leaving even more love bites on it.

“I’ll make you feel good sweetheart, I promise.” He smiles. He places a sweet peck on your cheek before he starts to trail them down your body.

Once he reaches your pants he tugs on them lightly before you whine out an agreement.

As soon as it’s off he starts to admire your half naked body in front of him. Matt perches between your thighs leaving a teasing peck on your clothed clit.

“Please” you sighs. You push yourself back on him. Matt chuckles at the movements. He pushes you down by your hips.

“Patience honey” he chuckles teasing you by kissing up your inner thighs. He was purposefully not stimulating the part you needed him the most.

“Matt please” you whine throwing your head back on the bed as you wait for Matt to do something, anything.

“Look at me baby.” He hums softly kissing up your inner thigh. He rubs your thighs slightly while you pick up your head to look back down at him.

You groan dramatically. “Matt”

The way Matt looks between your things like that only serves to make you even wetter.

He chuckles finally starting to pull your panties off gently. He slides them off and throws them across the room. Be careful not to put any pressure on you.

He smiles down at you. Matt sits up between your legs. “How about we take this off yeah?” He hums. His hands trails over your bra. You eagerly lean up to give him access to take your bra off.

He also threw that across the room.

You sigh, laying back down dramatically. Your chest moves at the impact of you laying back down.

Matt eyes lock on your chest

He smiles fondly. He takes one of your tits in his hand starting to fondle it gently.

“You’re so gorgeous, baby” he smiles leaning down for a moment to kiss you, and then trailing his kisses down your throat and between the valley of your breasts.

You let out a soft breath feeling his lips press against all these sensual places.

“Matt please. Come on” you whine dramatically laying flat on your back waiting for him to do something. Anything.

He chuckles, deciding to speed up the teasing. He places himself back between your thighs. Matt then pulls your leg over his shoulders.

“I wanna make this memorable for you.” He says. But before you can respond he licks a bold stripe up your pussy.

You gasp at the feeling. You close your eyes briefly and then look at him.

Before you can complain about the lack of contact, he leaves a kiss on your clit before starting to suck on it.

His groans were sending vibrations through you. he was sucking and swirling his tongue, lapping up your juices. He was eating you out like you were his last meal.

You were chanting his name like a prayer while he just kept vigorously eating you out. Your hands stay tangled in the messy waves, you gently tug on it.

Until without warning you felt his fingers plunge into your tight aching cunt. You feel him start to move them as you feel yourself get closer to the edge.

“Matt- im-“ you get cut off by a moan when Matt curls his fingers at just the right spot.

His eyes stay focused on you. He watches you with a sharp gaze. Watching the way you react.

His movements speed up even more. And before you can warn him you feel the knot in your stomach snap.

He continues to eat you out, lapping up your juices, until you calm down. He licks a final stripe up your pussy watching you shudder at the slight overstimulation.

You tug at his hair and he finally comes back up with his chin coated in your juices. He wipes his chin off with the back of his hand, grinning.

“You’re doing so well for me princess.” Matt smiles leaning down and pressing another sweet kiss to your forehead.

“Matt, please fuck me.” You breathe out. You’re tone begging.

You’ve known Matt all your life. He was your childhood best friend. The guy who you’ve been fake dating for years now. The guy who treated you like a princess, despite your relationship only being for show.

And yet all you wanted to do right now is be with him. Be as close to him as possible.

In hindsight. All of this was inevitable. You’ve always been a little too close, a little too touchy. You’ve always known too much about each other.

That was the reason why most of your, and his other relationships didn’t work out.

“ ‘Corse sweetheart.” He smiles, unbuckling his belt and swiftly removing his jeans.

His dick is big. And that’s not even exaggerated. it was bigger than you expected. But it somehow made sense for him.

The tip was the same rosy color he had on his blushing cheeks. It wasn’t too vainy just the perfect amount. You knew from the size that it’d mildly hurt.

You whine at the feeling of him sliding his cock through your soaked folds.

You feel Matt gently push in. You throw your head back at the feeling making sure to keep your eyes on him.

“Fuck you’re so big” you breathe out. Only his tip was in, but the girth was enough to have you drooling.

“I’ll take it slow, honey” he looks down at you fondly.

And all that fake dating, fake love thing you guys have been doing for years was starting to feel just a little too real.

Once he fully bottoms out he sighs. He doesn’t move for a little, letting you get used to the feeling.

“You can move” you mumble under your breath.

“Your wish is my command princess” he jokes slightly. Matt starts to thrust in and out of you. His pace is gentle and slow.

And with the way he is leaning over your body, keeping the eye contact, it seems so loving and sensual.

“Oh my god Matt-“ you throw your head back, your eyes closing.

Matt was just looking down at you all fond and loving. He looks at you like you’re the only woman in the world. The only woman whom he cares for.

“Fuck- I love you” you breathe out. Without even realizing what you were saying. You’ve said I love you to each other so many times. Yet all those times it was for show or meant platonically.

But this. This was not. You were in love with your best friend. The guy who you’ve been sort of fake dating for two years.

“Oh? do you?” Matt replies teasingly.

He leans down starting to kiss down your neck once again. And the feeling of that only makes you even more aroused. Your breath hitches when you realize what you’d just admitted.

Before you can panic though, Matt starts talking.

“I love you too”

He wasn’t slowing down. He didn’t seem phased by the confession. Like he knew, or was expecting it.

“Do you?” You breathe out.

Matt pulls back slightly. He looks down at you as you timidly open your eyes again. Your eyes lock on his once more. He stares at you with all the love and lust in his body.

“I should’ve told you earlier.” He admits. He lets out a slight laugh at the idea.

His eyes trail your body. Admiring every curve and feature you have.

“It’s okay.” Your eyes are half-lidded, watching him watch you. “Are you mine now? For real?”

“I’m all yours, princess”

And that sentence alone had you rolling your eyes into the back of your head. the way he was talking mixed with the sensual thrusts he was giving. It all felt so good.

It just felt so intimate and loving.

He leans down again his lips capturing yours.

You sloppily kiss back. His thrusts remain deep and sensual.

One of his hands moves to your breast again starting to fiddle with it, occasionally flicking the nipple.

He pulls away from the kiss. He changes hands giving just as much attention to your other breast.

“You wanna come for me baby?” His tone is light and teasing, but laced with so much lust and affection.

“Please”

He smiles pulling himself up. He yanks your legs over his shoulders, readjusting. He starts to harshly thrust into you.

The new angle making him hit deeper. He was hitting every spot in you, making you weak in your knees.

You whine and moan loudly, not bothering to keep quiet since no one is home. You chant his name like it’s the only thing you can think of- which it is.

His breath is sharp too, he lets out occasional groans which send tingles to your core.

He sounds so good.

Matt’s thumb finds its way to your clit starting to rub in it harshly.

“You’re squeezing me so tight honey.” He lets out a harsh breath.

You can only whine in response. The feeling of him drilling into your cunt is overwhelming. You feel like you couldn’t talk, even if you tried.

“You gonna come?” He huffs starting to pick up the pace, both with rubbing on your clit and fucking your cunt.

You feel the intense pressure of the knot, ready to snap in your stomach.

“Let go for me.”

As soon as the words leave his lips you feel yourself clench against him. your eyes close as you feel your orgasm wash over you.

He keeps thrusting into you, fucking you through your orgasm.

“Can I come in you?” Matt breaths out. And all you think to do is nod. You were on the pill, but Matt was gonna take the safe route and ask before he did it anyway.

As soon as you nod you hear his sharp breaths. His hips speed up. The sound of your lewd wetness and the sound of skin slapping is echoing loudly.

His hips start to stutter until he finally slows down.

He collapses on top of you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

Matt keeps himself inside of you. You feel the way your combined juices leak out of you. You feel the warmth and closure of his body.

He pulls back again. He looks down at you. “So does this count as our new actual anniversary or are we gonna use the fake one?” He says his tone is half joking.

He had that goofy, almost giddy smile on his face. And his smile was making you smile.

“I don’t know we can have both?” You suggest.

After a moment of just staring, admiring each other he pulls out slowly so as to not hurt you.

He stares down at your pussy for a second. Looking at the way it looks all filled with his seed.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He smiles. He bites his lip when his eyes finally meet yours again.

“Can’t leave your pussy like this.” He teases, stealing another quick peck from your lips, making you smile.

Masterlist

(A/N: again sorry this is kinda ass, but I rlly like the concept 🫶🏼)

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolols

[astaroth1357]

"MC, Who's Best in Bed??":

*on an average HoL morning, the MC is trying to enjoy a cup of tea in the dining room but there's been nothing but shouting in the House for about an hour now... They’re nearly at their wits end when the seven culprits come marching in the room themselves, glaring at esch other. Before MC can even speak, Asmo takes initiative and slams his hands down onto the table, making their teacup clatter*

Asmo: MC, you have to be the one settle this! Which one of us is best in bed???

*the MC... almost does a spit take*

MC: Excuse me???

Mammon: You heard'em! You outta know by now, so who is it??

*the MC looks at their demons like they've gone mental, but seven pairs of eyes stare back at them expectantly, hell, even determinedly. Seeing that they likely can't weasel out of this, the MC gives in with a sigh*

MC: .... Do you really want to know?

Asmo: Of course!!

Satan: We promise we'll be alright with whoever you choose...

Mammon: But it's gonna be me, right??

Satan: Shut up, Mammon!! 😡

MC: Well... if I have to pick...

MC: It's gotta be Lucifer.

Lucifer: *smiles REAL wide for a guy who's been pretending that this conversation is juvenile and beneath him...*

Lucifer: Well. I think that settles that.

*he walks over and arrogantly kisses the back of MC's hand while his brothers all groan somewhere between irritation and disappointment...*

Mammon: Look what ya did, MC, he's never gonna get over himself now!!

Lucifer: Mammoooon?

Mammon: 😨 Shit!

MC: It is Mammon, actually.

Mammon: Eeh-?? Er, s-SEE I TOLD YA!!

*he tries to act proud, and he is, but it's pretty obvious to everyone that he got caught off guard and is flustered as hell*

Mammon: W-who else could it be but the Great Mammon? Right??? This is why I'm their first!!

*Mammon continues to loudly bluster and gloat as MC gets up from the table, taking their teacup with them*

MC: It sure is~

*they peck him on the cheek, which bluescreens his brain while his brothers scoff in disgust*

Belphie: Geez, at least get a room first guys... 🙄

MC: You won’t believe me, but it's Levi.

*the brother stop, collectively look at each other, and then shake their heads*

All (INCLUDING Levi): We don't believe you.

MC: *shrugs nonchalantly and takes another sip of tea* What'd I tell ya?

Asmo: MC, you can't be serious...

MC: *looks him dead in the eye* Two. Dicks. Need I say more? Because I can! He can also-mph!!

*a confused MC gets a hand clamped over their mouth by a mortified Levi, who's still puttering around to figure out how he should feel*

Levi: M-MC! Please...!! 😣

Satan: So there ARE some things that better left unknown... Fantastic... 😰🤢

MC: It’s actually you, Satan!

Satan: *blinks* Eh? Oh really...?

*already turning his head towards Lucifer with a BIG shit-eating grin*

Satan: What do you know? Looks like we've heard it, haven't we?

Lucifer: *angerily covering up his frustration behind a stone cold poker face* So we have... Not that it matters.

Satan: Hm. Your face says otherwise. 😏

Lucifer: Don't push your luck....

MC: Asmo. It's Asmo, it's obviously Asmo!!

Asmo: THANK YOU!!

Asmo: Honestly, it's like no one understands my job description here!!

Asmo: I can, will, and do fuck better than all of you! You just have to accept that. 😌

Mammon: Ugh! Give it a rest already... 😮‍💨

MC: You know what? It's Beel.

*the brothers stop and collectively look at their absolute UNIT of a sibling.... then breathe a combined sigh of defeat*

Beel: *flustered pink from embarrassment, but still very happy to hear it* Thank you, MC. 😊

MC: You're welcome, Beel! 🙂

MC: Weirdly enough, it's Belphie...

Belphie: What do you mean, "weirdly?"

MC: I mean, if we were just going based off resumes here, I wouldn't exactly put yours on top.

MC: But you're living proof "work smarter, not harder" are words to live by. Your technique is flawless!

Belphie: .... I'm not sure how to feel about this anymore....

Bonus:

MC: *gives a blank, thousand yard stare into the middle distance*

Mammon: Uhhhm.... MC? Still there?

MC: I just realized something... I'm really am going to Hell...

Levi: Huh? But you're already here...?

MC: *gets up from the chair and starts to jog away urgently* I think I need a priest...

Belphie: What? Why?? Is being here a problem to you??? 🤬

MC: *calls out as they skid past the doorway* It is because I'm fucking an angel!!! 😫

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Charity Work

A/n: I needed to get this thought out

Warnings: smut, cockwarming, voyeurism, age gap, daddy!kink, if you think I missed anything let me know, otherwise enjoy!

Slash was evil. He was also the most supportive boyfriend ever. Anytime you found a new hobby he would do whatever he could to encourage it, even if he didn’t fully understand it.

You made videos online, your fandom full of people following along with your latest obsessions. Recently you’d gotten into gaming, it was expensive and you told Slash repeatedly that you didn’t need a better set up because you’d move on soon.

Of course he ignored you.

It was your birthday and he used that as an excuse to spoil you again, getting you an expensive computer and fancy monitor along with games you’d been none stop talking about among other things.

It was always he’d sit in while you made videos though your fans loved it when he did, always talking about how sweet he was with you, how cute you were together despite the age difference.

You were setting up to stream a new horror game he got you when Slash came in.

He wrapped his arms around you, draping them over your gaming chair. “About to start?” He asked, his voice soft and a bit raspy, you knew what that tone was.

“Yes, I am.” You said, making a few changes to your camera.

“How much time do you have?” You looked up at him with a raised brow. “Like, before you start.” He gestures towards the computer.

You shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m trying to start soon though, why?”

Slash placed a kiss on your cheek, then your jaw and down your neck. “Do we have enough time?”

You let out a heavy, shaky breath. “No.” You said, reaching for his hand.

“No?” He asked. “I could just hide under the desk, you know.” Though his offer was tempting you couldn’t bring yourself to accept it, feeling it was too risky.

You shook your head.

Slash sighed and headed to the door. He paused, his hand on the doorknob. “That’s your new game, right?” You spun your chair to face to him, nodding at his question. “Can I watch?”

You thought nothing of it and agreed.

You hadn’t expected him watching you game would include him pulling down your pants and sitting you on his cock.

In his defence, he wasn’t totally evil. He wouldn’t move and helped cover up any sounds you may have let escape.

However, he was still evil. He’d point out figures in the corners of your screen just to watch you jump, he’d tap his fingers on your thighs, whisper things in your ears. Anything that might make you move.

Your fans weren’t obviously, the comments filling with people pointing out your flushed cheeks or Slash’s wandering hands. They couldn’t see anything pretty much below your chest but they could all see how you flinched your heart those screams that sounded a little too enjoyed.

Slash moved the mic away and leaned into your ear. “You suck at pretending, sweetheart.” You huffed.

“I didn’t expect to have to.” You grumbled.

“Everyone knows.” He pointed to the comments in the corner of your screen. “‘Enjoying some kind of monster, huh?’” He asked, reading the comments. “‘I joined for horror not porno’” he couldn’t help but chuckle at that one. “Think they like it?”

You bit your lip, looking over some of the comments, few were negative, most were asking for a better view.

What really got you was when someone donated fifty bucks with the note “can’t even play when you’re getting fucked?” More people agreed, a small influx in donations coming in.

It might not have been much but the money was going to a good cause…

Slash rolled his hips into yours pulling a moan from you that you didn’t even try to hide.

He brought the mic back and let you continue with your game while he set a good rhythm beneath you, nothing that would stop you from playing but it was more than distracting.

When you stopped hiding it even more money came in, you kept telling yourself you were happy because it meant good for charity. “You love having people watch you, huh?” Slash said, pulling you from your thoughts and you realized you’d been walking into a wall. “Or do you just like when everyone praises you?” He emphasized his words by adjusting himself and hitting that spongey spot deep inside of you.

“Yes-! Yes, I like it.” You said with a dopey grin as he held your hips in place, fucking that same spot again and again.

Slash grinned widely at your response, lifting you up a bit and thrusting into you faster, pulling louder moans from you.

You still tried to play but as that knot built up in your gut you just couldn’t be bothered, focusing on Slash’s thick cock buried deep in you. “Look at that, you’re almost at your goal.” He mused. “You can celebrate that, can’t you?”

You nodded, ignoring your stream and begging to cum. “Please-please, daddy, feels s’good!” You whined, gripping your desk so tight your knuckles turned white.

“Aw, they like it when you call me that.” He mused. More donations came in, everyone talking about how hot you were, the pretty sounds that came out of you, those faces you made.

A donation came up on your screen; three thousand dollars, reaching over your initial goal.

You barely had a chance to celebrate before you were sent over the edge, babbling out whatever you could. “Oh, fuck, thank you, daddy!”

Your back arched, eyes rolling back as you came, Slash still pumping in and out of you.

He managed to get out of frame and pinned you against the wall, groaning in your ear as he filled you with his cum.

He pulled out of you, admiring his cum seeping out of your puffy, fluttering hole. He ran two fingers through your folds, gathering your mixed juices before sitting back down and going back to the camera, holding you close to his chest.

“Open up, sweetheart.” He whispered in your ear as he brought his fingers up to your mouth, pushing them past your lips and letting you lick and suck the mess off.

You were laying in bed, scrolling on your phone. Slash was laying next to you, hiding his face in his pillow as per usual.

“Hey, Slash.” You said to get his attention, still scrolling through everyone talking about you and what you’d done on stream. Slash looked up at you with tired eyes. “I think I found another hobby to get into.” You smiled down at him.

[crowleysgirl56]

The vast majority of people who work on a show are paid upfront for their labour

They don't get paid dependent on how successful a show is

They also don't do work that doesn't get paid- if they are working on a show that gets cancelled, they get paid for the work they did

All this 'stream GO for the hard workers behind the scenes' is bullshit

They work for companies are will be put on different projects

Just be honest that you want more GO (despite the message that it sends to studios- that audiences are ok with abusers! Just turn a blind eye to them! Yes that gives them more power but who cares because people will watch and make them money!)

Don't pretend your doing this for moral reasons

(And acting like you're doing this for Terry- for all we know he might want his work with an abuser completely destroyed- it's stupid to assume he'd want the series to be continued)

Like say this shit with your chest, you know?

Oh boy, ok. Gonna take a minute to answer this.

Firstly, I and a lot of the fandom, are heartbroken over what NG has done. Because we were duped into thinking he was a decent person. From the things that he wrote to the things that he said we thought that he was good person. And it is horrible that there are people out there suffering because yet another rich powerful white man decided he had the right to take advantage of them.

You seem rather angry and if that anger stems because you have experienced something similar yourself then I hope you have love and support around you so that you can heel.

If you want to talk about money, let me remind you that NG has already been paid for season 3. He will continue to get royalties, and thanks to the writers strike last year, he will now get more money for those royalties than before. If S3 doesn’t go ahead then hundreds of people will lose their jobs. Will they get other jobs? Sure, maybe. But any loss of job in this current economic climate is terrible and stressful (and I’m not talking about DT or MS here. They’ll get more work).

I don’t know if you understand how hyper fixation in neurodiversity works, but this is extremely painful for some people and takes a lot of time and energy and therapy to get over when a hyper fixation is threatened or taken away. Some people, like myself, need closure for things otherwise we can find it extremely difficult to move on emotionally. This obviously does not compare to someone trying to survive after SA, but emotional diversity can be extremely debilitating as well. They are apples and oranges to compare, but you can’t invalidate one person’s pain because you think another person’s pain is worth more.

As for the show itself, there is so little queer representation in media. There is a lot more nowadays compared to a decade ago, or even 5 years ago, but the little representation we have is so extremely important. Do you know how many people have found a truth to themselves thanks to GO? How many people discovered something about themselves that finally gives them answer to how they feel? How at the age of 40 I finally realised that I’m asexual and NOT BROKEN. That’s fucking important.

And this. ALL of this is why everyone, including me, are so fucking angry with NG. Because he has left us emotionally devastated. He has not just physically hurt these women. He has emotionally hurt hundreds of thousands of people. He is a stain.

I have spoken before when this all first happened about how I was angry that my one teeny tiny corner of the internet that made me happy was on fire. I left for a bit. I came back. I want to continue to interact with like minded people who love this fandom. I won’t stop that.

And frankly, and here’s the last I’ll say on this, the world is on fire. It is filled with a lot of fucking awful shit right now. I have suffered a very deep depression of late where some nights after I put the kids to bed I just stare and cry. You don’t know that about me because I don’t say those kinds of things on the internet, because our internet personas are facades. They’re not real. They’re not true life. I’m a real person and I’m aching inside about so many things. And these kinds of messages are just breaking me further. Seriously, when you send stuff like this do you even consider that?! So when I decide to hold onto one of the last bastions of entertainment that brings me joy, I’m not going to be guilted into dropping it because someone involved happens to be a monster. Because let me tell you if we did that every time someone turned out to be horrible, then we would never watch or enjoy anything ever again. EVERYTHING you watch or listen to or enjoy or like or cared about is connected to someone who is horrible or produced by a gigantic evil corporation (Nestle, Disney, Microsoft, Facebook, Google just to name a few). Every. Single. Thing. It’s the clothing you wear, the electronics you buy, the food you eat, the furniture in your house, and ALL the entertainment you consume. So if you gave up everything for some moral stance, then you would literally have nothing left.

Dropping Good Omens does nothing. It sends no message to anyone because the next really fucking awful person is about to produce the next big thing you might happen to love and care about. So what’s the point?

Let me have Good Omens. You don’t like that, then you can block me. That’s what the button is there for. You don’t need to send anonymous hateful messages. And if you want me to “say this shit with my chest” maybe you can send me an ask with the Anonymous off. So I can see your chest too.

I’m turning off anonymous asks now. Considering the only asks I’ve ever received is abusive shit telling me to kill myself or saying David Tennant is a paedophile or just telling me I’m a horrible person for supporting NG (when I’ve already stated before that I don’t anymore).

Sorry for those who’ve managed to get to the end here. Thanks for reading if you have, sorry it was so long. I hope you aren’t receiving the same type of messages. If Anonymous has read this far, I don’t know, maybe think twice before being horrible to random people on the internet?

[self-indulgent-devils]

PLEASE jax and chubby reader hcs thank you

Oh hell yeah!

Jax x Chubby Reader headcanons

Things will be gender neutral. May switch between using they and you for referring to reader. Will be sfw with some minor implications otherwise. But nothing explicit.

💜Jax x Chubby Reader Headcanons💜

Jax seeing you for the first time and instantly feeling something he's not used to. There's just something about you he likes (it's cause you're chubby and he adores that shit.) Instantly he loves to mess with you right away. Messing with your head, trying to freak you out, oh how he loves seeing your reactions. Especially if you're someone that does react to it like Ragatha or Gangle. If you're someone that doesn't react, it just means he has to try harder and he does enjoy a challenge.

Jax secretly glancing at your body every single time he can. You look so squishy and huggable. He doesn't care about personal space so any time he wraps an arm around you or squishes your chubby tummy or your thighs or your fat arms, it seems relatively normal. Because it's him just trying to mess with you, right? Meanwhile inside he's savoring the feeling of it. If he could bring you back to his room and just hold you next to him in his bed, he would. But he's not going to let that show. He's the asshole that hates everyone and he doesn't need anyone seeing how he really feels.

Even though he hides it as just enjoying messing with you, he ends up getting pretty close with you. If he is able to make you laugh then it makes him swoon even more. Seeing that smile on your chubby face and your belly move as you laugh. It is like heaven to him.

If you're the type to be his partner in crime, he will absolutely fucking love it. Usually no one is into his little tricks and pranks and jokes. It's weird at first to him, but he's happy to have it. He's even willing to share the keys he has for everywhere with you. It also lets him have a perfect excuse of inviting you over to his room or even forcibly inviting himself to stay the night in your room.

Jax doesn't really do boundaries. He doesn't really care. So he will love to feel you all over whenever he wants. If you react to it then he'll just love to see the way you react. Especially if you're someone insecure about being chubby/fat since we can't always help it. He will love to tease and make you all insecure for his own enjoyment. When secretly, he absolutely adores you and sees no reason why you should feel bad. It doesn't matter what other people think so why do you care when it's not even their body? He can't understand it one bit.

If it ever became serious that you were fucked up over how your body looks, he would feel so fucking guilty. He'd probably start leaving secret notes and other things to make sure you're still caring for yourself. Even if there's no need to eat, he will share food as if making sure you're going to eat right. Last thing he'd ever want is to see you abstract or hate yourself. He'd even lay off the jokes about your body as soon as he sees how serious it's getting. Of course it won't be obvious, but he'll even include little jokes that encourage you about your body. Things like "You have the body to take on the world" "Bigger is better, right?" "You don't really have that body, do you? I'm sure some random person out there will love it." It can sound mean or like another mockery of you being bigger, but he's just trying to make it not obvious that he's genuinely wanting you to feel better after his cruel jokes putting you down. After all, if anything changed with your body (if that were even possible in the circus) or if you abstracted because of him making fun of your body, he has no idea what he would do. Though no one will ever obviously know how he feels.

Imagine if you're someone that can see through him. Oh he would hate that, but it would also only make him love you even more. Someone that sees him and understands him even when he does so well at hiding it all, at pretending he doesn't care and hates everyone, at feeling like nothing matters with them trapped here. It'll send him into a spiral for a bit. Often messing with you even more and especially getting to squeeze and hug and feel your body more. Because to him, that chubbiness is a comfort. Like hugging a stuffed animal. It feels soft and safe. Even if it's for a few seconds while messing with you, it makes him feel better. He cannot understand how someone can see through him and understand him. It makes him so uneasy so he will overcompensate with his jokes and pranks and apathy to hide it even more. Not that you couldn't obviously tell what was going on anyway.

Secretly he's there wishing to spend every night with you. Doing whatever he wanted. He would love to see your body in its glory. It's not fair that he can only admire it from afar or the few times he grabs you and makes it seem like he's just messing with you. Sometimes if you're a heavy sleeper, he'll sneak into your room just to curl up and hold you for a bit. But he has to make sure you're not going to wake up. He just needs to feel you. Sometimes he'll always move some clothing just to see, run his hands over your most fatty areas, even squish your chubby face. But he won't risk it too much and will quickly leave back to his own room. His mind filled with how it felt to see you and feel you. Using that to be able to fall asleep at night while hugging a pillow.

It isn't likely he would ever confess honestly. But if you can manage to form a friendship with him or be the one to confess first, you have a chance.

If he were to confess though, he'd do it in private and probably at night when others are asleep. He may enter your room as you sleep then wake you up and tell you he has something he wants to talk to you about. Or he'll leave some surprise gifts in your room. Even if he weren't going to confess, he'd probably leave you a Jax plushie to have. Especially if you're someone that loves plushies. He'd also find other things you like and enjoy and secretly give them to you. It's obvious enough it's from him, but he may not outright ever say it. Still, you could probably tell.

If things get serious about your body again and you feel uncomfortable especially being the only chubby person at the circus, Jax would try to come see you at night. He'd enter your room or if you've just been in there for days, he's going to unlock your door and go in. He'll try to joke a bit and explore your room, go through your drawers and closet, touch every little thing in there. But if he sees his jokes aren't working then he knows he's gotta be serious. He makes you swear to not tell anyone else in the circus. Before telling you how he feels and that he finds you beautiful. Every little thing that he loves about you and how beautiful your body is. How much he loves someone chubby and loved you the moment you appeared here in the circus.

Now for when you're actually dating. He'll eventually not care who knows. They're better off knowing that you belong to HIM. He can be jealous and possessive, but usually doesn't have to worry as long as he can mark you.

He will love to hold you close and will almost always demand to sleep in your room or have you sleep in his room.

He would love to feed you at each of the meals especially if you're embarrassed or flustered by it.

He would love it if he can make you all embarrassed and flustered with his love. Especially if you're more easily embarrassed about being held or touched or kissed or anything.

He would love for you to sit on his lap. Feeling your bigger body against his thin and sleek body as his big cartoon hands run over your body, squeezing your fat, nuzzling his face into you and breathing in your scent, playing with hair if you have any, feeling every possible inch of you. He would fucking adore it. He loves feeling your weight on him.

Jax would absolutely adore taking your clothes. Especially if you have shirts. He would love to just be wearing one of your shirts that's too big for his very thin body. He loves the fact that you're opposites in body, especially since he's cartoonishly thin and also flat. Plus if you ever don't wanna share a bed then he'll just take a shirt to wear and snuggle in. It'll feel like he has you with him. Like you're hugging him.

No matter what you'd be like, he'd love you. Tall, short, super fat, just slightly chubby, no matter where the fat really shows, no matter what your form would look like in the circus, he would love you. Jax is only picky about one thing and that's if they can catch his interest. You can do that so there's no worries he'd absolutely love you. That and he definitely loves someone bigger. The size differences especially with his form in the circus is heavenly to him. Even in the real world it was like that, but he can't really remember that so he only has the circus for context.

He loves to be able to pick you up with his cartoonish strength. Holding you close, carrying you around, being able to move your body easily, pin you against the wall or the bed or a couch or anything. Jax would love to be able to do that. Doesn't matter if you're taller than him too, he will absolutely still do that to you and act like a dominant bitch because he can. Especially if you're someone that's flustered by it or you're taken aback by it. The embarrassment and look of shock on your fucking gorgeous chubby face will always make his heart pound. And he would absolutely kiss you right then if you'd let him.

Being able to kiss you while you're sitting on him, laying on top of him, him holding you, him trapping or pinning you somewhere would make him feel so fucking happy. Being able to love you while he can have you there in his arms or against him is the absolute best. Once you're actually dating, he will always make it clear that you're sexy and gorgeous as fuck and he will love you for it no matter what. And that your body is exactly what he loves about you.

It's not likely anyone in the circus would make you feel like shit for your weight or body. Really, Jax is the only one that would do that. But if someone ever came along that made you feel like shit, he would probably get into an actual fight. And then take you back to his room and spend the entire time doing anything he can to make sure that you KNOW you're fucking perfect and he would never want you any other way unless it was your fucking choice, coming from a genuine place and not just cause you're being shamed for it. You're his chubby bunny (regardless of if you have a bunny form or not, he calls you that) and he won't let anyone ruin that for him or you. And he will spend the whole time loving you and your body as if you were a god he was worshipping.

It's not often Jax gets close to anyone, but no matter what you're like, you can manage to make him swoon. It may take a bit to get to dating him, especially if you're not someone that can take the lead, but you already have his heart. Whether you know it or not. And even if he's hiding how he feels, one day he's gonna make you his. No one else in the circus can have you. And if there were ever a way to escape, Jax would hope like hell that he could find you again and hope that you'd like him too. Cause things would be different if you guys could ever leave. But for now in the circus, he has eternity with you. And that's what he fucking loves. An eternity with his chubby bunny. You make the circus better for him. He's gonna make sure you never abstract and nothing ever happens to you. Cause Jax loves you and your fantastically beautiful chubby body.

[thingsarentgreat]

I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.

I keep reflecting to determine if there's something more within me that's causing me to still feel so incredibly sick by it all. Really trying to expose the raw roots of the feeling to see if it stems from some kind of selfishness. And I suppose it does. But to reduce it to just that would also be lying, because it's a combination of poisons down in that soil. It's betrayal and a feeling of isolation amongst a group I thought I once knew, and then that selfish and bitter root grows in like a weed. I can only quietly observe to myself: "ah. this is where the radicalization and rampant nationalism come from. this is why I see it flowering in my family."

It's because I feel my trust breaking all over again each time I forget about it and try to go on with my business. I remember that I still can't mourn publicly without someone educating me on why obviously if I'm mourning, I must have Insert Political Alignment Here. I remember the utter silence and the downright celebration of more civilian deaths because "oh, fuckin Yaya or whatever deserved it after what Israel does."

For the record, Yaya-Or-Whatever didn't deserve it, and I still remember the lead dropping into my stomach upon hearing that from a friend. No one deserves it. No one ever deserves it.

I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.

Maybe that's a quote leftists recognize, but I realize now that few of them actually stick to it across the board. And I'm admittedly selfish, because I hoped that leftists could at least have a moment to care about my people suffering too before getting back to helping the people who currently need the most help. But instead we got "Yaya-Or-Whatever Deserved It." And I've been laying here for months watching everyone on the left just go back to the usual armchair activism as if they didn't just fucking say that, and when I do bring it up, suddenly I'm the problem for pointing out that it was fucked up.

You won't erase it, fyi. We saw you say it. Some of you said it with your full fucking chest. You were callous and let the antisemites into the bar by openly celebrating Jewish death. Then you pretended we were talking about Palestine when we pointed out your antisemitic actions. You know that's not what we were even pointing to as an example. But it's very convenient for you to pretend we don't know the difference, isn't it?

I don't know. It's just a reminder that most of you are actually all talk and virtue signals. There's no actual substance behind your ideals, you're just adhering to the party line, same as conservatives do. I guess I was naive to think otherwise. It's disingenuous for you to wonder why people leave the leftist movement as a whole and "suddenly" flip sides. You know why, and it's reasons like this - you're just covering it up and pretending it's a totally different, more convenient reason.

Tldr; you're hypocrite ass leftists and fuck you. You should be ashamed of how you acted.

[afrsconp]

I'm pretty new to this fandom but I've seen a few posts here and there about Nigel being a bad guy. And I'm not saying he's perfect (he'd be boring if he was!) but I do think some of those posts aren't really considering why, within canon, he'd (re)act the way does.

A few arguments against Nigel I've seen:

Nigel pressured Isaac to move faster than what Isaac was comfortable with, and gaslit him to manipulate him into doing what he wanted.

I can understand the argument for this, but I just don't agree with it. Both of them contributed to the way things ended up, mostly due to lack of communication, which in turn was probably just one symptom of tons of other issues: their old-timey-ness, Isaac still processing being openly gay, both of them probably unused to being in a serious relationship (with a man or otherwise) where they genuinely loved/were attracted to the other party, the prospect of literal eternity together, the sheer length of time they'd pined over each other, the fact that Isaac was the cause of Nigel's death, etc etc etc.

So when people claim things like Nigel getting mad about the daybed = Nigel manipulating Isaac into proposing, it feels a little short sighted.

More than once, we see Nigel actively try to slow things down when he sees that Isaac is uncomfortable, only for Isaac to rush forward instead (to overcompensate for his own worries):

After the truth is revealed about Jenkins lying to both of them to keep them apart, and Isaac still tries to pretend there's no romantic feelings between them, Nigel is visibly upset but doesn't push the issue. He doesn't even try to get Isaac to admit what they both know (what everyone knows!) is the truth - he just hurries away and tries to hide how much Isaac's denial has hurt him.

After offering to let Isaac sleep in the shed when the mansion ghosts have to bunk up, Nigel starts avoiding Isaac. It's not a stretch to think that Nigel was embarrassed/upset at being rejected and decided to leave Isaac alone for a while, giving them both some space, and he only confronts Isaac again when he thinks the real reason he was rejected was that Isaac had been having an affair with Thor.

When they're under the mistletoe, Nigel quickly assures Isaac that they don't have to follow tradition and can just say goodnight - only for Isaac to insist that they kiss. So it's pretty understandable that Nigel gets upset when Isaac facepalms him instead. And not only that, Nigel tries again to back off - he sees that Isaac isn't ready and reluctantly ends the relationship. And again, it's Isaac who pushes things forward by going to find him later and kissing him for real. But kissing him without any explanation about why he was so hesitant to do it before, which only compounds their issues.

When Nigel is like, "we're really baby stepping this thing, aren't we?" after Isaac invites him to move into the mansion, he clearly wants to move into Isaac's room but readily accepts moving into the library instead. He doesn't argue or make a fuss about it.

When Nigel gets upset about the daybed and Isaac tells him that he isn't ready for cohabitation, Nigel again just accepts it. He's obviously disappointed, but he doesn't make any demands. It's Isaac who suddenly jumps straight to marriage, which is something that Nigel pretty clearly did not expect him to do at all.

Just the fact that Nigel waited for Isaac to make the first move, despite it being obvious to everyone that Isaac has had feelings for him for centuries. Nigel didn't force things and knew that Isaac had to accept it for himself before anything could happen between the two of them. And so he waited. FOR OVER 200 YEARS.

2. The liaison with Jenkins during The Respite

Look, this was 100% on Nigel and he shouldn't have done it (even if they were on a respite). But given what had just happened, I can understand why he did it. The love of his life had just shown him that he still wasn't ready, even after 250 years of waiting, so Nigel was upset and frustrated and Jenkins was right there and willing. So he did something stupid, which he later describes as "meaningless" anyway.

3. The lapdance from Jenkins at the stag do

First off, the lapdance wasn't his idea. It was Trevor's, and then Jenkins just ran with it. And yeah, it's clear that Nigel enjoyed it, but it's also clear that it meant nothing to him. It didn't make him have sudden feelings for Jenkins, or made him horny for Jenkins, or anything at all that affected his feelings for Isaac. In fact, he insisted that Isaac get a lapdance too, to prove that they were just "innocent fun". So when he later realized that Isaac's lapdance wasn't as meaningless for Isaac as his own was for him, he gets upset. And, once again, it's Isaac who pushes things further, by insisting that they should still get married despite both of them starting to have doubts.

In case it isn't clear, I'm not saying Isaac is the bad guy here. They're both a product of the time period they grew up in and talking things out isn't something either of them is used to doing.

4. Nigel blackmailing Hetty and Trevor

This one just ignores the fact that Nigel only blackmails them after Hetty sabotaged Nigel's tea party. And yes, inviting Hetty last was 100% an intentional slight, but it was a slight that would've stayed private. No one else would've been aware of it - not even Hetty, had Nancy not happened to mention that Nigel invited her first. That's a very different thing to Hetty publicly embarrassing Nigel by ensuring that his tea party failed.

In any case, Hetty won that little war (as she should have; she's the Lady of the House and I love her outmanoeuvring everyone to stay on top). And after she won, they both backed off. We see them being quite civil to each other after that, like during their double date and the wedding planning (up until the pre-nup thing, but more on that below).

5. Nigel getting upset about the pre-nup

This argument is just weird to me. Plenty of people in the modern day get upset about this kind of thing all the time, so Nigel getting upset about it seems perfectly understandable. It also wouldn't be surprising if Nigel was subconsciously worried that Hetty was still trying to break them up.

In general, I think that Nigel might just be really insecure. He might've been afraid that Isaac was only with him because it was convenient? And was kind of desperate for a solid indication that Isaac's feelings were as strong as his own. And when Isaac repeatedly backed off, those doubts just kept resurfacing, to the point where I don't think Nigel even thought about possible alternative reasons for Isaac's behavior. He just went straight to "he doesn't really want me, maybe he never wanted me". But he doesn't actually say any of this to Isaac, and Isaac never actually tells him about Beatrice or why he's getting cold feet (assuming that Isaac is even aware of the reasons himself!) - until they're already at the altar, in front of everyone, and about to exchange vows. Which is just about the worst possible timing there is.

[di-daynamic]

@prongsfoot-microfic September 2024 Day 15: Roar

James grins, tossing one at his best mate. Sirius catches it, smiling just as widely, and plops it into his mouth. He looks up at the ceiling and starts roaring like a lion.

Peter nearly falls off the bed laughing. Moony grins, flicking his wand and giving Sirius a mane, whiskers and a tail. Sirius goes on all fours, crawling across the bed and clambering all over them as James whoops and the other two laugh.

“My turn!” Wormtail says, grabbing the packet from James and downing his own. He squeaks, and everyone else dies of laughter – Sirius’ come out like growling snorts. He blushes down to his chest.

“This is why Prongs was choosing, Pete,” Remus chokes out.

“Yeah, we hear you squeak enough.” James picks out the antidote for the rat one and hands it to his friend.

“On that note, I’m going to bed,” are Peter’s first words, accompanied by a laugh, as he climbs off James’ to go to his own.

“Night, Wormtail,” James stifles a yawn himself. Remus waves and heads off too, leaving James and a still animalistic Sirius on the bed.

Sirius roars again, grabbing the packet and shaking it in front of James, obviously looking for the antidote. He just grins and shrugs.

“What’ll you give me in return?” He demands lazily. Sirius raises an eyebrow: ‘what would you want’ could not be broadcasted more clearly. “Hmm. I don’t know, it’s rather hard to say. There’s just so many options,” he teases.

Sirius, rather than looking upset or thoughtful, smirks. It unsettles James, and even more so when his best friend drops back to all fours.

Then he leans in close – his breath catches – and nuzzles James’ shoulder and neck, exactly as James’ cat always does.

Oh, fuck.

Even with the feel of the whiskers and mane, it is so obviously Sirius who is basically kissing his neck and looking up at him mischievously and practically in his Merlin damned lap—

He shoves his friend away, hurriedly finding the antidote and pretending to be absorbed by finding something in his bedside table. He controls his heartbeat deliberately, trying to curb the panicked giddiness.

This is his best mate. Sirius trusts him more than anyone. He’s not going to be a creep. He’s not, he’s not, he’s—

“Prongs?” Comes an uncertain voice. Surprised at the tone, James turns to see Sirius looking regretful. The sight is so rare and unexpected, he forgets to look away or reply. “I didn’t mean to make you—” He makes a gesture, as though James is supposed to understand.

“Not your fault,” James shakes his head, ashamed that Sirius is able to tell his feelings. He’d figured he’s been hiding them pretty well, but Padfoot knows him better than anyone.

“’Course it is,” Sirius says quietly, and now he looks terrified. “I swear, I’ve never done anything about—” He makes another gesture. “Well, other than this obviously, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or scared—”

“Scared?” James asks, baffled. “Me? I thought you wouldn’t like this!”

Sirius looks just as confused. “Wouldn’t like what?”

“My feelings, and how they’re making things weird, obviously!”

There’s a pause. Then slowly, deliberately, “What feelings?” James furrows his eyebrows. Sirius is looking at him with barely concealed hope.

“That I think you’re hot,” he shrugs. “And I wouldn’t mind going out with you.”

James waits, heart in his throat. Sirius opens and closes his mouth. His voice is hoarse: “Prongs.” He inhales. “I’ve been in love with you since we met.”

James stares. “You – what?” Sirius just shrugs, looking away. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sirius counters.

Fair enough.

James pulls out his wand. Sirius looks at it warily. “Mind if I get the extras off?” He gestures at the mane and whiskers. “Kissing you would be kind of awkward otherwise.”

Sirius’ whole face lights up, and James’ heart tightens in response. “But think of the Gryffindor spirit!”

“Enough Gryffindor spirit with the confessions and roaring, I think,” James snorts. His best mate grins at him, and he grins back, again entirely at the equanimity he always has with Sirius, and yet world completely turned on the axis in the most amazing way possible.

[velvetvexations]

I'm not a trans woman, just a trans person who has been very active in trans and queer spaces, so it actually makes me really sad to see so many transradfems absolutely vilify femboys and gnc men because from what I've seen a LOT of trans women start out as gnc "men" or femboys or drag queens even just expiriementing in a safe place that welcomes that before realizing they're actually women and heading out(or even still being there hanging with the people who welcomed them when they were unsure and needed a community that wouldn't treat them like a freak for saying "I don't want to be masculine anymore").

Like so many trans men and mascs start out ID-ing as butch lesbians or just butches/tomboys in general and they don't turn around and vilify non-transmasc butches and tomboys as like...transandrophobes or women play acting as men, and most of them keep their ties to that community because again, that's where they were welcomed and sheltered while they figured stuff out.

And I know SO many asexuals who thought they were bi before realizing they were ace and while that isn't exactly the same they don't like, turn around and attack bi people for welcoming them as a member of the club when they needed support.

I mean it is just my perspective and I'm just one person and again I'm not a trans woman but nearly every trans woman I know who didn't like come out as a 6 year old started out just dressing up as a girl for fun first and hanging out in gnc, femboy, and drag spaces. And isn't this also why we have egg jokes about femboys and gnc men(as much as I don't like them)?? Because it's common to start off there before cracking and realizing "oh I'm a girl actually"? Why are transradfems being like "yeah I started here but everyone ELSE there is a transphobic freak" like???

It just...idk it's really sad to see transradfems attack gnc men and femboys and drag queens even because like, you obviously don't owe them anything or have to view them as your saviors or whatever but there's undeniable community overlap and seeing that ignored in favor of pretending anyone wearing woman's clothes while IDing as a man is clearly a massive transmisognist freak who deserves to be attacked when that's what a lot of trans women started out as is like...what?

Makes me really sad. We're supposed to be in this together, right? We're all deviants in one way or another, I even count otherwise cishet but still gnc men as my queer allies, like it or not imo back when Finnster ID-ed as a cishet man I still thought they were one of us(I mean getting banned from twitch for adjusting your bra strap seems like some textbook misogyny and even transmisogny but what do I know), we're all under attack for just trying to live the lives we want to live. What good does it do to divide us up like this. How are those of us who don't know right away going to find our footing if we don't have safe spaces to expiriement with people who will love and support us and cheer when we figure out who we truly are? How are those of us who are deviant but not trans supposed to thrive without support and acceptance?

Isn't that what this is all supposed to be about?

It's depressing. Thank you for your thoughts, anon. <3 I appreciate that others see this same thing and also despair. It makes me feel like I'm not cracking up to know that this is alarming to you as well.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 2 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You try to back out on being a debutant so you can stop taking lessons with Mr. Jeon but your mother is going to do everything she can to make you follow through Paring: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 2k~ Warnings: Like one cuss word but thats about it lol a/n: Let me know how you guys are liking this! I was planning on posting this later but I wanted to see if posting around this time would be better :) p.s. roughly edited lol

"Mom! Mom! Where are you?" I yell as soon as I get home. "I'm right here so please stop yelling, you know that there is no yelling in this household" she scolds. "Okay, then why did you yell at me when I got a bad grade on my midterm paper?" I throw in her face. "Watch your tone y/n I am still your mother" she retorts. "Now what is it?" she says quickly turning the conversation back to it's intended course. 

"I can't do this" I say and start making my way to the living room with her soon trailing behind. "Do what?" she sighs once we've both sat down. "This whole debutante thing, it's not for me" I say hoping it would pacify her but knowing for a fact that would never happen. "You're doing it!" she says, wanting to end the conversation already. 

"No I'm not!" I argue back "I'm not cut out for this thing. This life of high society and playing nice with strangers, pretending like you actually care about what they're talking about. I just can't pretend to be someone I'm not" I explain but unfortunately she'll have none of it. "Did something happen at your lessons today?" she asks, hoping to find the cause of my anxieties.

"Nothing happened" I huff, standing up and making my way to my room. "Obviously something happened since you always seem to have something to say about everything even at the most inopportune times" she says, obviously exacerbated by the memories. "Are you talking about the time I added staying alive to the set list at grandpa's funeral?" I question chuckling at the memory. 

"See this is exactly why you need those lessons. It's time to grow up, and if you're not ready to do that yet then I'll just have you get a job and start paying your own tuition so you can learn on your own what it means to be an adult" she threatens. "James said that he would pay for my tuition if I decided I wanted to go back to college. You can't take that away from me!" I argue and stop in my tracks, surprised and upset that she would even stoop that low. 

"Since you still feel the need to whine over small sacrifices such as these then it looks like we should probably start giving you some more responsibilities so you will grow up. Just take the damn lessons y/n, it would really make your father and I happy if we could introduce you to everyone properly" she explains softening her tone towards the end.

"But he-" I start, wanting to tell her what my instructor made me do but we're cut off by the sound of James getting home. "How are my two lovely ladies doing?" he asks while giving my mother a kiss on her temple. "Oh we're fine, y/n was just telling me how much she enjoyed her first lesson right?" she says giving me a stern face, daring me to say otherwise.

"Oh yeah they were great Mr. Jeon seems like a very nice man" I say giving him a half smile, forcing the answer out of myself. I hate lying to him, especially since he's been nothing but nice to me so far. A lot nicer than my mother that's for sure, so I would hate to mess things up with him. 

"Well that's great news! Especially since he called me just now and asked if you would like to take more lessons with him. It seems like he's taken a special interest in you and wants to really make sure you're set up for success. Would that be something that you would like?" he asks, thankfully leaving the decision up to me but with the glare my mother is giving me it seems like from her point of view there's only one obvious answer for this question.

"That works for me. Whatever you both think would be best is be fine by me" I say, doing my very best to sound as genuine as possible even though I'm dying inside. 

"Wonderful! He's asked if we could do three days of etiquette and two days of dance lessons during the week and on days closer to events we should do dance lessons on the weekend before the event as well. That schedule work out alright for you?" he asks while taking out his phone to no doubt sending a message to Matthew to contact Mr. Jeon tomorrow morning so he's prepared for my newly scheduled lessons as well.

"Yes that's fine but where will I be taking my dance lessons?" I question now confused as to why Mr. Jeon would speak to James about them as well. "Oh I didn't tell you?" he's your dance instructor as well" James says and leaves to his office to take a phone call. 

"No fucking way am I dancing with that man" I say turning back to my mother once he's out of earshot. "Did he do something that made you feel uncomfortable?" she asks, just now deciding to finally ask why I didn't want to take the lessons. "No he's just a dick" I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Really, that's the reason? What did you expect? He's meant to teach you to act like a lady and let's be honest, a nice sweet approach isn't going to work on you" she says and makes her way to who knows where, to do who knows what. With how big this house is it could honestly be anything. 

~~~~~~~~

"So is he hot?" Jesse asks, clearly interested in how things went yesterday. "I mean I guess but he's too rude for me to even begin to pay attention to that" I huff, frustrated at the thought of him alone. "What's his name?" he asks, taking out his phone to look him up.

"I don't remember but his last name is Jeon" I say taking a bite out of my sandwich. "J-o-h-n?" he questions, confused at the unusual surname. "No J-e-o-n. I'm pretty sure he's Korean" I say and slide over to his side to see what he can dig up on him.

"Jeon Private Etiquette Tutor" he types in and hits enter. "Woah" both of us say, seeing how many articles and pictures of him with actors, CEOs and public figures. "This guy must be loaded" Jesse says, clearly stunned at who he's worked with. "And he's hot! Damn girl you really won if this Jungkook guy wants to see you five times a week" he says and keeps on clicking through everything he can get him hands on about him. "And seven days a week when there's some stupid event I have to go to" I groan just thinking about how many hours of my life I'm going to waste with him. 

"He's only 27, I wonder if he's single" Jesse says winking at me. "For me or for you because you can have him" I scoff making him laugh. "No take backs! Well, unless he's straight. Then you can have him back. No matter how heartbreaking that might be" he says, wiping away fake tears. "Sorry to break it to you babe but he probably wouldn't go for either of us" I say placing a hand on his shoulder and getting up to leave.

"Hey! Where are you going? We don't start class for another half an hour" he yells after me. "I gotta go change since he wants me to be 'dressed like a lady' when I come and I won't have time after class" I yell turning to face him as I walk backward for a second. "Alright, have fun Barbie" he yells as I get further away to which I respond with a shake of my head as I make my way over to my car. 

"Acceptable" he says taking in my form. "Although the hem is far too short" he says looking down at my legs again before looking back up and making eye contact with me. "It was all I could find on such short notice" I explain but unfortunately he isn't satisfied with my answer. 

"Excuses will get you no where, you either do it or you don't. I'm sure you could have put in a little more effort into finding something more suitable if you had tried. Let's remedy the situation by the next class shall we?" he finishes off sarcastically before turning his back to me and walking over to the sound system in the corner of the room and I take the chance to stick my tongue out at him in retaliation. 

"You do you realize there are mirrors in this room correct?" he asks, clearly not amused with what he had seen me doing. "My apologies Mr. Jeon" I settle on, not bothering to give an excuse this time. "But are you really?" he asks, walking back towards me slowly, his voice an octave lower, catching me off guard. "N-no" I answer truthfully, nervous with the way he stalks towards me with clear displeasure enveloping his entire existence. 

He leans towards me talking directly into my ear, clearly using tactics to show his dominance over the situation. "Let us be honest with each other then. It would be a waste of both of our time if we were to do otherwise" he say sending shivers down my spine and I hate that it's something I couldn't have controlled even if I wanted to. "Is that clear?" he asks, his warm breath hitting my neck making my mind feel clouded, leaving me confused on how to respond to him leaving me only being able to nod in response.

"Good" he says leaning back, giving what I had hoped for was a little more room to breathe. "Next time use your words" he says tilting my chin up just as he had done at my last lesson. "Yes Mr. Jeon" I say quietly, leaving him satisfied with my cooperation and straightening back up to go back to what he had been working on.

'What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? What THE FUCK was that?' I ask myself over and over and over again. I'm startled out of my circular train of thought and am met with what I can assume is some sort of waltz music running through the twin speakers on either side of the wall that the sound system is placed against. 

"I can't dance" I voice out, sticking to my word and answering the question before he bothered to ask. "I thought as much, ballroom dancing is a lost art amongst the youth of your generation" he says adjusting a few more things before coming back over to me. 

"You speak of my generation as if it was much younger in comparison to yours" I respond crossing my arms over my chest in defiance. "Were you perhaps curious enough to inquire about me?" he asks finally turning around to face me, making his way back over to me as he had done before, having caught me red handed leaving me changing my position, holding my hands together and having them rest against my thighs.

"I had just assumed based off of how youthful you look" I respond, giving him a forced compliment, not wanting to admit to what I had done. Well, really what Jesse had done but again he would see right through me. "Haven't we agreed to be honest with each other?" he questions reaching his hand out and easily pulling my hands apart. Placing one of mine on his shoulder and the other held in his hand, leaving his free one to rest on my waist. 

"Do as I say and hopefully we'll come out of this without any injuries" he says practically daring me to make a mistake. "But of course" I say and straighten my posture to match his and follow his lead as best as I can. 

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[libra-cant-just-dance]

Headcanons/Thoughts for Every Main Five Just Dance ship

Obviously I have my favorite but sometimes it’s fun to just think about other ships so I wanted to make a post about ALL of them. For some reason. PS don’t reblog/reply to this with “well actually that one ship sucks and I don’t like it”. As far as we know all of them are the same age and not related so there’s really no reason why any ship is wrong, let people like what they like.

Wanderlust x Jack: I don’t need to rant about them, you all already know. Go read my fanfiction

Wanderlust x Sara: He brings her into this magical world, she loves it and she loves him. It’s a bit cliche but cliches are cliches because they WORK. Also, we know Sara loves the Danceverses, but what if Wanderlust loves Earth? What if he’s got a Little Mermaid thing going on? Imagine Sara showing him around Earth and him being excited by the silliest little things

Wanderlust x Brezziana: They’re both the most energetic ones of the group. Imagine them teaming up on adventures and charging ahead together when the others get tired. Neither of them can always find a friend to keep up with them, but they always have each other

Wanderlust x Mihaly: They’re kind of like two different sides of the Flow? Wander is more energetic and Mihaly’s more chill, so I think they’d balance each other out well. Mihaly gets Wander to slow down every once in a while and appreciate things he’d otherwise miss. Wanderlust shows them how to be more spontaneous and free

Jack x Sara: Sara falls for the bad boy except he’s not actually bad. So much in the Danceverses is bright and crazy and overwhelming, so Jack being more down-to-earth is refreshing for her. Jack loves the way she treats him. Aside from the events of story mode, she doesn’t have the background on Night Swan and Eternyx that the others do, so she doesn’t know his reputation as well. He feels like she really sees him as his own person while everyone else will always remember his mother’s shadow

Jack x Mihaly: I think both of them being the more practical ones of the group could mesh well. We also know Mihaly used to idolize Night Swan in some way, so they both can relate to having wanted to live up to her legacy and now realizing she was wrong. Jack is also always expecting some sort of punishment or consequence if he does something wrong, but Mihaly is so chill about everything that they make him feel like everything’s okay

Jack x Brezziana: Brezziana will drag Jack out of the house to go do stuff when he’s stuck moping around. Theyre SO opposites attract. She’s also ready to stand up for him whenever necessary. Jack will just turn the other cheek to insults and pretend nothing bothers him, but Brezziana won’t let him bottle things up

Sara x Mihaly: Another case of chill vs energetic balancing each other out. I think Mihaly brings Sara to meet Master Panda and he really likes her. What if they try training together to see if Sara is gifted with the Flow like people from the Danceverses are? Again, I feel like Mihaly is also a grounding presence for her amongst the chaos of the Danceverses.

Sara x Brezziana: They go on mall dates a lot! Cute dates where they pick out outfits for each other and try them on. They’re very giggly. They post very cutesy Instagram posts about each other all the time. Connected at the hip when the gang goes out places.

Mihaly x Brezziana: This one’s popular. Again it’s energetic vs chill. Mihaly will often open their home to fourteen texts from Brezziana about something crazy she just did and Mihaly just shakes their head and smiles.

[kai-rio]

ggy song analysis III - the liar by the arcadian wild

im so normal about this song, the first time i heard it i immediately knew it was super uber ggy coded

(this is a long one so ill put my analysis under the cut)

by the way, i use greg and gregory as terms for different people - gregory for the character in sb, and greg for the persona we see in ggy

i sense theres trouble ahead, clear by the signs and warnings i think gregory would know that somethings up because i mean its probably pretty obvious if you have lots of gaps in your memory, or if he only gets control back for a little while after a long period of greg taking control, then he’d know thats weird too

that should tell where all blame is due, so why are they pointing at my head? this could be read as gregory not knowing the things greg’s done and being confused, if he notices vengeful tony & ellis then he wouldnt know why theyre vengeful

all have been led astray, we’ve all fallen short in some way literally a line in the game omg. but yeah i imagine during the short moments of control, gregory seeks comfort in vanessa and/or the other followers like finbarr or tape girl because he’d know theyre going through the same thing

please understand im ashamed he would feel guilty for greg’s actions once he actually remembers them or is told them by someone else

and i beg of you, please find your grace i think this reads as gregory trying to warn greg’s victims, like tony and ellis, but he’s unable to actually do anything

cause i'm not in a right state of mind, i just wish i had strength to admit it i doubt gregory would accept the idea of being one of the followers immediately and he might have fallen into a state of denial in a way

my stubborness will put up a fight, but i dont deserve to win it however, when he does accept it, he’d feel immense guilt, so much that he thinks he doesnt deserve to be forgiven despite how badly he wants it

we’re left in the dark, pondering our mistakes this could be gregory trying to piece together what happened during his amnesia gaps

in the light i swear i will deny it all i personally think that if gregory was to find out while he was still being controlled periodically, malhare might just try gaslight him into thinking otherwise to make him more compliant

cause i am the lying man, and i have made you my next victim ‘i am the lying man’ sounds like a title, maybe like greg confessing he’s ggy before he eliminates tony. the next victim obviously because the victims before were the therapists and i guess you could even count vanessa since he manipulates her - tony wouldnt be the last victim either, it probably continues on to ellis, crystal and maybe even cassie if gregory never escaped the control fully

oh i need you to see through my act, to tell me im wrong, to take off the mask again, this is about gregory trying to warn tony and ellis about his murderous counterpart, and it could be interpreted that taking off the dr. rabbit mask is a metaphor for freeing gregory, similar to how in the princess quest ending, our first sign that vanessa is free is that her mask has been abandoned

or else ill be left in the lie obviously this about still being trapped under the influence, but i also have another interpretation of this - i think that during the influence, gregory dissociated to an imaginary world where all the bad things didnt happen to cope with what he could remember, omori style

and ill decieve my way straight to demise i know everyone celebrates gregory for being like the first alive fnaf kid in the games but i honestly dont think thatll stay that way for long with how fnaf has a history of dead kids lol

i am the host of this hostility if the ‘wizards favourite apprentice’ line is true and not just greg pretending, then it would make sense for everything to revolve around him - he’s trusted enough to manipulate another follower and carry out a lot of murders so i would think its true. this probably means that gregory is under more surveillance than any of the other followers which would make it more difficult for him to escape

another interpretation of this is a ‘host’ that a parasite uses - this could imply that each of the reluctant followers personas’ arent specific to their body and could just inhabit a new one - this could be disproved by saying that each follower we’ve seen (vanny and greg) have made their names centered around their body’s original inhabitant, but then again that could just be them rubbing it in vanessa and gregory’s faces about their lack of control, or perhaps it was commanded by the mimic1 virus

im the master magician that makes you believe speaking of the mimic, if i remember correctly, there was a room in sb with a bunch of staff bots representing the afton family, and william was framed as a magician if sorts - the mimuc is supposedly mimicing afton, so it would make sense if it called itself a magician

im real, im not fake, but in reality im a lying man honestly i just think greg would be a fan of paradoxes and stuff like that, seeing how he led a trail of breadcrumbs for tony to follow

my lifes become this grand game of deception in gregs eyes, tony could be treating the whole ggy mystery like a game to be finished, a grand game because theres a high possibility of there being way more followers than we realise, already with 4 confirmed ones (vanny, greg, finbarr & tapegirl as far as i know)

my minds ignored all my hearts good intentions his mind because its mind control… yeah - this could also represent gregorys learnt behaviour of closing himself off from others to avoid them becoming another face on the missing posters despite only having goid intentions

we all feel this tension, we all have our own illusions the followers again, i imagine they all have their own ways of coping, perhaps by simply blocking everything out or pretending/dissasociating

[sadie-bug345]

gangs favorite classes🫶🥰🫡☝️🤓

i keep taking breaks from tumblr but i’m really tryna get back in the swing of things🙏

ponyboy:

ahhhh i haven’t reread the book in a while but he probably mentions classes he likes or he doesn’t like

ik he has like a D in his creative writing class or smth but that’s cause he don’t like the restrictions that come with writing for an assignment

in reality i feel like he is an english guy overall

also gives history ngl

more social studies classes

8/10 hes real for that

johnny:

elective guy thru and thru

like photography, art, ceramics, graphic design, etc

he might be amazing at these artsy classes

and that’s why he likes them OR

he just loves the chill classroom vibe yk

also he likes the kids in there too

i feel like johnny gets so annoyed with louder socs who mess around in the classes he likes

cause my guy is actually respectful🫶🙏

10/10 so valid honestly, like photo is fr my favorite class and i feel like johnny would totally fw that

sodapop:

language classes

like spanish, french, german, whatever floats your boat

i think he likes the funny atmosphere of everyone kinda messing up whenever they’re put on the spot to speak in class

just cause no one really cares

ALSO DESTROYS during presentations btw

like either he’s genuinely good

or he just keeps messing up and giggles abt it so much that the teacher starts yelling at him abt it

genuinely has a dgaf mindset to school in general which is very admirable

6/10 i hate my spanish 2 class but its ok😭🙏

darry:

sports med / sports weights

OR anatomy

like he just enjoys sports so anything that relates to that he finds really interesting

he likes the helping people aspect of sports med

and i’m in sports med as well which is actually so fun ngl

he eats with that

always crushes tests

i think he really studies for tests and actually tries

which allows him to get good grades🤓☝️

but he couldn’t care less abt classes he doesn’t like

7/10 valid

dally:

pretends to not give a shit but we know he does when it comes to the gang

bc of this, his fave classes are whatever he has the most friends in

other than that he thinks all classes are terrible and they all feel like years

math guy when he actually understands the concept

but the second things get hard he just gives up

“who needs these hyperbolas anyways man🙄”

lives for lunch and after school cause he just walks around and talks

or fights with other kids but we don’t talk abt that

6/10 im the same way abt math

two-bit:

any class where he can mess with the teacher

like either the teacher is chill and jokes around with him

OR the teacher actually sucks and two just makes them even more mad

lives for class laughter

like soda he enjoys more participation based classes, less the actual content

somehow he always gets sat in the desk right next to the teachers desk so they can keep an eye on him

barely ever gets to sit next to his friends for obvious reasons LMAO

7/10 also valid

steve:

obviously auto mechanic if the school offers it

otherwise he gives a science kid

like biology, physics, anatomy, stuff like that

his brain is just the type to get it

so those classes are barely hard for him

which is SO LUCKY

he the type to just go off about some technical concept the class is going over and explain it perfectly to his friend who needs help and then make a your mom joke the next minute

5/10 i hate physics and i hate how he’d be better at it than me

ANYWAYS REQUEST STUFF PLS🫶😋‼️

(btw i’m going thru requests rn so dw!!)

[writers-get-biters]

sooooo tired of feeling bad and shitty and stuck and miserable

fuck my relationship ocd i hate it so much and also fuck being forced to do stuff i dont want by people i dont want to be with sometimes (like now )they get into some sort of fucked up loop where i feel miserable because of stuff in my brain and then theres external stuff which also fucks it up more so then my disabilities become more disabling because obviously and then i get blamed and hurt more externally because of my disabilities that are not! my! fault! and then of course that makes internal shit worse so then im just stuck in the middle forced to pretend shit doesnt suck and actually im fine and actually everythings fine keep being "jokingly" mean to me and pushing my boundaries i dont care i get it its actually really okay if you say something to me that most other people i know offline wouldnt consider mean even though i have told you to stop its okay if you dont stop i guess i guess its fine if no one listens to me and i have to sit in miserable silence by myself because i dont even feel like doing anything that any of my ceters enjoy like drawing or our data entry projects or video games or writing and it doesnt matter i guess that im so stressed because since its from an arbitrary authoritative institution everyone is supposedly fine with that makes it totally okay and actually the real problem is me and i guess im the problem and reason why no one wants to talk to me or communicate with me the way i want to be talked to or otherwise communicated with yeah my bad i guess its all my fault and im supposed to just suck it up and stop complaining and also its creepy and wrong and bad i guess for me to try to cope with any of this the way that i want to and i guess yeah i need to and should be keeping it a secret because otherwise ill make everyone else uncomfortable and thats the worst possible outcome btw no person left behind unless its me in which case utilitarianism is always right and we cant give a shit about everyone yk like someone is always going to be miserable but we should prioritize the most people so if i mention kink (ew) or my other interests (ew) im a horrible really bad person actually because im making other people (more important than me. btw) uncomfortable and upset also i should ignore the fact that i am systematically and systemically being isolated from and kept away from people who might actually show understanding and kindness towards me or be in a similar position and extend the kind of support i desperately need but its cool because you keep saying youre only doing that because im "better than them" and actually youre helping me because "those people" are bad and wrong and harmful and they might make me (simultaneously innocent and guilty) do bad things like drugs that might offer a chance to alleviate some of my pain or transition to a bodymind i& want or be angry or just generally be a "bad person" and not be able to participate in the joys of continuing the chain of oppression and harm. but its fine because its for my benefit actually because you frame it as ""those people" have it so hard and theyre so unlucky (because theyre treated like shit by everyone which is true because people's actions are definitely a matter of "luck") and i just want to spare you from that" how kind of you wow youre so sweet and nice to me right now because i havent violated any of your rules yet what a great person you are because you let me be myself to a certain extent (a tiny little eensy-weensy extent but thats fine because its more than i deserve anyway) and since im being invited to participate in the continuation of oppression and pain it would be pretty rude for me to say no and if i did say no it would definitely justify treating me badly and doing all of the things you do to "those people" to me because im technically actually even worse than "those people" because i could have been normal i could have just accepted your rules (that were literally killing me to follow) (not that you noticed)

and also on the other hand the people arguing against you get to use me as their fun little trick-up-their-sleeve because obviously its ridiculous to treat someone like me the way that you have and will and i can be used as a perfect little pawn

[the ceter who wrote this switched out around here, but before they did, it asked that the others of us post this vent anyway if they were unable to finish or post it]

[punkpandapatrixk]

The Kind of Sad You Can’t Understand

Certain days I feel very deeply that I want to cry but I don’t know why.

For such a long time I lived with this kind of mood without being able to express it anywhere, not to anyone. I was struggling for my sanity; I was constantly thinking of destroying myself; and I was hoping someone would see me, and rush to save me. But nobody ever saw that of me.

I was a badass. I was a cool girl. I seemed to everybody else a smart, talented, expensive girl who's got all her shit together. Even on days she wasn't all that together, she had an enviable life anyway. I appeared on the outside too glamorous for anybody to even imagine that on the inside I was rotting. I was this close to being dead, all the time.

Who in their simple-mindedness would've thought a girl like that could be so macabre all the time? And that’s how I experienced an entire life witnessing people’s lack of empathy. I guess my point of view was fragmented but that was how life was for me anyway. Ironically, some intuitive peeps who were able to see the macabre in me thought I was frightening more than anything HAHAHAH That was all the same in the end. Enough with the gossips. I don’t know what normal people expect from everybody else they meet, to be honest. I don’t know what I’d expected from them either.

I guess it’s because the society I grew up in was like that that I couldn’t bring myself to show anybody my distress. Trauma. Mental illness. Disordered personality. All of that was nothing but insanity. And insane people don’t belong in society.

So simple. Yet so cruel.

Thank you, Jesus. Mother Mary. Catholic Church. Thanks for all the rejection. I’m SO happy now!

That’s fucking twisted.

In a society brimming with nothing but pretenders, we meet and chit and chat and act like all of our troubles are manageable to say the least. ‘Yeah, it’s not that bad, to be honest.' But it was; you've just got to pose real strong otherwise people think you're a loser. 'I guess I’m OK.’ But you weren't; you've just got to really make it sound like you're still keeping it together. 'I'll be just fine.' But you wouldn't know; you didn't even know if you'd still wanna be alive tomorrow.

In the midst of all those meaningless exchanges, I hated quite nothing more than to hear, especially from men, how strong I was as a woman. I hated it like I'd never hated anything in my life.

It was suffocating to be seen as holding it together when you were literally breaking at the seams...

I wanted someone to be able to notice I was screaming on the inside. That I was gasping for air every second I was sitting there listening to their trivial chitter chatter. Who cares about your silly drama? Would you care for mine if you knew my life was on the line? And I hated those expectant eyes. All of them. Were they expecting me to share in their self-made woes and console them in the end? HAH. Go to hell, losers.

I always thought, none of MY problems were created by my own reckless behaviours that would've obviously hurt myself or others. Not in the beginning, at least. Unlike some idiots, I was never into drugs, one night stands, or even smoking; I never caused anybody any trouble. So why did everybody cause me trouble when all I wanted was just a peaceful, normal life? Shit, what even was my IDEA of a normal life? I can't remember now.

Certain days I feel very deeply that I want to cry but I don’t know why. There's always not enough reason to do so now. Haah... If it weren't for my abundance of Aquarius, which makes me incredibly lazy and antisocial, I'd have paraded around town and rallied to become a Neo Hitler and kill everybody in this rotten world. I hated this world so much.

The first ever PAC I put out here was ‘What’s Your Crazy?’ What ever was my reason for writing that? I was crazy and I needed some explanation.

I used to look like the girl in the third pic before I chopped all of my hair off everyone began to suspect I was gay. I wasn’t gay; I was depressed. Those unassuming idiots.