#like.. this isn't worth my time anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

confinesofmy · 7 months ago

Text

finally went to the trouble of getting sims 3 & 4 downloaded on my steam deck and got literally about ten minutes in before i realised i'm not fuckin running that shit on my steam deck lmao. it's not fun enough to justify running the fan that much and heating it up like that for even 4 hours. even bg3 runs better. people have killed computers with sims games because they heat your shit up so bad. i'm not doing it to a device i value. so i guess i'll delete them now lol. 🥴

#it told me not to run more than a couple of my $20 expansion packs at a time so i won't break the game #and then it told me that if i make a save with certain packs if i change packs later it'll slightly bust it #and then the loading screen took forever which reminded me of how when i'd been playing it a lot sometimes it would take 20+ minutes #because the more you play the harder it is to open #and the fan started blasting and did not stop #the graphics didn't look good anymore and i couldn't quite scale the ui like i wanted #like.. this isn't worth my time anymore #i'm 28 #it's a miracle when i can sit down to play anything #i'm not playing this stupid shit!!#i guess i'm over it #my self-esteem is too high now lmao #adam yaps

1 note · View note

pocketgalaxies · 10 months ago

Text

We want to destroy my mother. (insp by @dadrielle)

#critical role #criticalroleedit #imogen temult #liliana temult #laura bailey #matthew mercer #gifs #*#*cr #cr3 #cr spoilers #angst tag #cr meta #*meta #scheduled #3h12m c3e88 #18m c3e12 #3h17m c3e42 #3h42m c3e51 #4h20m c3e51 #1h35m c3e49 #i think this gifset might be a little bit unfair to liliana from a third party perspective but #i think it's Very Real for imogen. to feel like she reached out so many times and the loyalty there was so fucking flimsy #barely there to begin with and then gone in an instant as everything turned to red mist #thinking about how laura on 4sd a while ago said imogen is so fucking sick of it she's sick of having that hope #her reality is that her mother no longer has any loyalty to her and the pain of thinking she does isn't worth it anymore #:((((#'help me.' 'this is for the best.' breaks my H E A R T :(((((((((#and matt's fucking Smile afterward. speaks a thousand words #thanks rj for the discord message that kicked this off!!!

981 notes · View notes

ronanlynchbf · 10 days ago

Text

youtube

see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation

#amber heard #r.txt #debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know #whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base #their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an #of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you #haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or #popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them #the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna #waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches #videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing #time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same #time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is #still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore #now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to #hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship #and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe #being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN #TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH #anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t #a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o #the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus #talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying #depp v heard #video #there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together #while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally #has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this #trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend

6 notes · View notes

amelikos · 2 months ago

Text

Gibeon ruining his relationships partly out of grief over what happened in the past with Lucius, or Gibeon acting the way he does and doing everything because he knows exactly the type of man Lucius is, and knows he won't break a promise or die so easily, and believes he is still alive out there somewhere..

#going insane over lucius and gibeon. it will happen again (promise)#both flavors are very good..#for the longest time my train of thought was more 'gibeon thinks lucius isn't alive anymore'#but now i'm like. maybe he is actually acting like that partly out of his belief that lucius is still alive #and maybe he is just desperate to see him again!! there isn't much time left!#(current train of thought is that gibeon's motivations have to do with wanting to see lucius again and settle things with him)#(whatever that means. i think they were friends who maybe had a disagreement over the rakurium or something..)#anyway.#gibeon ruining his family over some pretty man he befriended decades ago is sooo. it's soo good.#pushing his own son away and later on hurting his own grandson (amethio) because of the past #is it worth it gibeon! do you think lucius would want to see you like that. or are you in so deep that you don't care anymore #the thought that maybe lucius is still alive and stuck in rakua because of what happened with gibeon #so like. maybe these two are keeping each other alive ww what is wrong with them <3 #(we still need to know the whole truth but in the meantime i'll entertain these thoughts)#lucius #gibeon #hz071 #character notes #episode notes

10 notes · View notes

liquidstar · 10 months ago

Text

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

24 notes · View notes

skwivr · 4 months ago

Text

-

#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling #every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair #i am really struggling this time #every day is a struggle to get through #i'm losing my hair #i'm losing my reasons to live #i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human #i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke #i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart #whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor #and that i should do some shit to make me happy #and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids #for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon #like this isn't a way to live a life #i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy #i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point #i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over #if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there #i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something #i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me #i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager #i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes #and i want the will to actually get up in the morning #i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better #but i realize now they won't #i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them #i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh #and no one's coming to save me #i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody #is this how it's supposed to be

12 notes · View notes

eikichi-supremacy · 22 days ago

Text

you guys don't even know about the matsuo & kuwabara fic (it doesn't exist (yet))

#LISTEN LISTEN #ive been dying to write about matsuo #like yeah it's kuwameshi ofc #but the important part is im GOING to write a fic that forces anime onlys to know #my goat matsuo get him the screentime he deserves okay #that aside. i think they'd be friends! i think they'd get along swell alr #i haven't even worked on this since i told nico about it but i HAVE thought about it which is basically working on it ok #(cope)#anywayyyy while kuwabara is taking a break for the summer he's like shit i always liked boxing #and this guy needs help managing kids it could be fun #yusuke thinks he's lame for working when he doesn't have to but kuwa doesn't gaf #anyway immediately matsuo fw him bc duh it's kuwabara #like to think as matsuo grew and changed and matured he isn't so easily intimidated #knows his strength and his worth so to speak. so maybe he doesn't immediately think kuwabara is gonna be trouble #like most people tend to based on how he looks. tho he doesn't have a pomp anymore so that might be part of it #shared love of boxing and Kuwabara being unexpectedly good with the kids and #insisting he's never boxed but CLEARLY being a fighter #matsuo is curious about the guy #anyway once he realizes kuwabara is a fuckin powerhouse he's like i GOTTA face him in the ring #so he trains him <3 great bonding tbh tho yusuke's pissy cos it's taking up kuwabara's time #plus the little childish notion that i used to be the one beating his ass everyday 😔#anywayyyyyyy just thoughts not a real fic but it WILL BE OKAY TRUST #sigh someone put me in a saw trap so I update a fic ppl actually care abt #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho

4 notes · View notes

musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago

Text

"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"

I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.

#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore #unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth #My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I #am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again #there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to #ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr #user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because #they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao #and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a #direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases #like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence #but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that #women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already #telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them #and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because #if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again #no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things #inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found

19 notes · View notes

sporefound · 9 months ago

Text

thinking about this but: on the divide between amanita / yvonne, nita tries to separate herself from her life as yvonne because she feels she is no longer worthy of the name / life connected to it. in her mind, she survived & thus that means she is deserving of life, but not that life if that makes sense? she failed as yvonne & her choosing a new name is her Essentially burying herself & using it as emotional compost

#ooc.#hc.#Thinkin Bout Her #thinking about this divide also being a sort of Defense mechanism so that she CAN learn a new way of life #bcs she knows she isn't Worth the life she used to live anymore #which shifts over time she learns to life in & as apart of the world but it's not like a linear process #especially after growing up with the mentality of prioritizing the individual it's difficult to shift into that being apart of a whole #i wanna break it down someday it's rotating in my brain like a chicken rn #she still likes to do things on her own & sort of uses being alone as a barrier between herself & things she doesn't understand #& it is easier to be alone when you are someone new to the world #idk if ANY of this makes sense to anyone but me but i am gnawing on these thoughts

2 notes · View notes

vee-tdc · 1 year ago

Text

Its been 6 hours since I walked out of the theater, and I'm still crying about Barbie like holy shit

#first of all aroace barbie for the win #second of all. I can't believe how much this movie has just made me realise how both wonderful and horrible it is to be a woman #how wonderful it is to be feminine and pretty and to love things that sparkle and things that glitter and how much drive and power we have #as women who are so driven and so hardworking and who are so confident in how they see themselves #but also #this fucking patriarchy #being a woman is enough grounds for some people to immeadtly see us as not worthy of being human #like getting human treatment is something to be earned and how dare we ask for anything more than the acknowledgement of our existence #god it hurts #to be so powerless but knowing the power is within us all and we can't be stepped on anymore #and if I had a nickel for every time a Billie Ellish song made me cry for days on end I'd have two nickels #maybe three #whish isn't a lot but its valid that it happened thrice #I'm gonna be thinking about this movie for so long #maybe I need to watch Oppenheimer to cleanse my head of these thoughts of self worth #please go watch it #barbie 2023

7 notes · View notes

hikeyzz · 1 year ago

Text

.

#anyway um happy thursday i hope y'all are havin a great day thx for following me and dealing with my antics i rlly appreciate you all so mu #esp all my beloved moots y'all are so so precious to me #anyway don't keep reading unless you wanna know what goes on in my dumb idiot brain all the time #i would simply love to not be in pain and suffering anymore #i feel like i'm never going to feel well again #and idk how much longer i can keep going like this #like this life is not so great that it balances out the absolute suffering i endure #so .#why am i doing it??#i never expected to live this long to begin with which is cool whatever like i chose to keep living #but i also expect to have a short life because of my health and my genes #and there's been some comfort in that where i feel a sense of ease knowing i'm not trapped in this life and there is an end #but so far my life has been that i am in poor enough health is seriously disrupts my life but only mildly disables me and does not actually #pose a risk to my ability to stay alive #like none of my health issues are fatal or life threatening in any way #they just seriously make it HARD to live and thrive and bc of that i'm like in disability limbo #and i don't wanna do it anymore #and trust me when i say i have thought soooooo much on it and am TRYING to make it worth it i am TRYING to make this life livable #i just can't keep living like this and my options rn are very limited #i want to ... so bad yet i keep trying and it just really really isn't worth it in my eyes #i don't know much longer i can hold on. i don't think i want to much longer #hikey #talks from ur local sexy psycho <3 #disabled lyfe

6 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago

Note

YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)

#snap chats #theres a note here about aoki's self hatred and ergo his inability to believe people could love him without 'worth'#and some kind of. I Dont Know occurs that comes with aoki accepting that love and ergo At Least Tolerating himself #and again becoming better as a person as a result. not WHOLLY you cant undo Everything Wrong With Him with one therapy session #but itd at least be a start and thats far more than anything else rgg has given since like. ryuji in dead souls #but w/e i- as per usual- have the vocabulary of a walrus so we're just gonna have to imagine i said something profound #AND THE LACK OF HUGGING IN THIS FRANCHISE IM GOING TO STAB ALL OF YOU. IN MINECRAFT.#with the power of delusions and this like seven-year-old wacom tablet i can fix that......#it'll never be enough it'll never fill the void in my soul but it'll be something i guess #BUT UGH NO SORRY IM JUST MAD NOW #nothing in my life has ever genuinely triggered anger in me than the y7 ending its just soooooooOOOOO #IT WAS SOOO CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT I CANT #im going to give myself a blood clot thinking about it anymore i feel my heart stopping Do Not Call An Ambulance I Cannot Afford It #so to stop myself from going in any more debt than i already am..... the possibility of any essays from me are very small #my ability to use words is near non existent. i feel like a right ninny sometimes #in any case im not sure what else i could expand on that isn't restating what you've said #cant ever be upset with bein on the same wavelength tho it gives my inarticulate ass a helluva easier time trying to explain LMAO #plus im petrified of trying to interpret anything from the english dub or english subs #and looking into language use is Very Much important when dissecting abusive relationships #i guess there's always just talking about general actions committed and not inspecting the exact words used #idk.. at the very least ill rotate the concept in my head and then fend off the urge to eat my teeth #i'm gonna throw up.... im still thinking of it........ gonna make an unrelated-but-arguably-related post in like three seconds #dont look at it its cringe

10 notes · View notes

networkcables · 1 year ago

Text

Adam has a broken key (not a big deal, it's happened before 😅) but i found out there was a version of his model that had silver keys! i thought a fun way to customize him might be to swap out some of his keys with the silver ones but i'm still not sure, i'm trying to concept out where some fun places to put them would be, what do you guys think (current Adam on the left)