#like. jokes that include a sound element? peak comedy to me

[blueish-bird]

currently overcome by childhood memories because I decided to play an Owl City album I used to listen to on repeat

[raridashdoodles]

📖 Twilight have read and graded all your stories! 📖 

However, since she's a fictional character we'll discard her opinions! I'm the one with the money, so naturally my opinions are the only one that matters.

These are ranked from best to worst and I've scored all entries based on how entertaining (or infuriating) I found them to be. If you got a good score, be very proud! I am not easy to please. If you got a bad score, then it is time for you to go sit in the corner and think about your sins. 👻

First off, the winner and best of the show:

Fic: Love, And Other Felonies Author: PatchworkPoltergeist​ Grade: A+++ Review: This is pretty much a raridash masterpiece. In my humble opinion, it far surpasses all of the fanfics the raridash community considers its cream of the crop. It has everything from great structure, wonderful characterizations and is an overall fun, creative take on the NMM-verse timeline. The world-building and lore is an added plus and a surprise (didn't expect that due to time and theme restrictions). This is an excellent romance fanfic with Raridash at the heart of its story. The two of them share close to every moment together and have to lean on each other as there is no one else to trust in this harsh dystopian world. Watching these two walk on eggshells in a society where freewill and independent thinking is punishable by death is just as entertaining as it sounds!

If I had to critic this, I'd say the story's epilogue threw me off. I feel that too much character development were lost in amnesia world and the romance aspect just didn't fit the bill anymore. Felt forced and awkward.

Runner-ups:

Fic: My Little Confession Author: Pixel Berry Grade: B Review: Very plain and simple, but it works! Story is very brief and the characters barely has any time to be introduced, but it covers the bare minimum and the characters struggles and exchanges are both endearing, cute and wholesome. Equis High seemed like an interesting place and it would've been great if you could've expand upon it. The prompt lean near the end was way too on the nose and really ruined the flow of narration! You should've kept up your integrity and make up your own ending. An epilogue for this wouldn't hurt either since the story doesn't fade out, it just kind of ends... 

Style of narration was very odd and there were several pacing issues, but I feel the creativity makes up for it! These were the kind of stories I was hoping to get out of this competition. ❤️

Fic: Zero-Sun Game Author: Undome Tinwe Grade: C+ Review: This story had some good moments, but the genres stumble over each other constantly. This isn't goofy enough to make it a good comedy and it definitely isn't serious enough to work as a good drama. There aren't any real struggles and Rainbow Dash's character is practically flawless. She knows exactly what say and how to behave in order to get Rarity under her thumb and she can predict events with 100% accuracy, averting every single conflict thrown at her with ease. The more you read, the less intrigued you become. Everything becomes dull up until the ending where everything gets weird. In a story that has references to sex, vice and regicide, giving this story such a cheesy, awkward ending just didn't feel right at all.

You should've gone full comedy and have Rainbow Dash under investigation for being a potential super villain, only for it to be revealed her actions were not a result of amorality but stupidity. Drama could’ve work too, but you'd have to lose the virtual-reality shtick as it sucks away all the tension.

Fic: The Finale Author: Mymysteriox Grade: F Review: This story is called The Finale and as promised by the title, you are indeed dropped into the climax of a big dramatic story, having no clue as to what events has lead up to that moment. Ponies are yelling and crying and then the stage play end. The main characters are real pleased with themselves for performing this amazing play, we weren't allowed to see! The problem with this fanfic is that it is barely anything but a transcript to its prompt. There's no depth, backstory or even introductions. It's an empty shell.

Fic: Every One After Author: AJtheRaven Grade: F Review: This story's attempt at entertainment revolves itself around Rarity and Rainbow Dash being as petty and shallow as possible. In short, Rainbow Dash want a trophy wife and Rarity want an obedient little pupper. These aspirations are forced to the point you wonder why the two of them are an item in the first place. Romance stories who’s conflict are the characters hating each other with the resolution of them kissing and making up in the end are by far the cheapest, dirtiest things in the world. To add on that, it completely fails to utilize the prompt in any creative manner, making this already dull story that much duller. None of the interactions carried any sincerity and every setup was predictable. 

If you had plans to write a story out of pure spite then you might as well have gone full out and write a story where Rainbow Dash struggles to dispose of Rarity's lifeless body after having strangled her to death in a fit of rage. At least that way you could’ve gotten a passing score for creativity.

Fic: The Experimental RariDash Crackfic Author: Mystic Mind Grade: F Review: Every single joke in this are like nails on a chalk board. Rarity and Rainbow Dash serves no purpose to this story and could've been replaced by literally anyone. The narrator/Pinkie Pie is obnoxious to the point you want to bludgeon her to death and the story from beginning to end is nothing but meme characters stumbling around and bumping into each other. I was surprised you didn't include a scene where Discord popped in and start twerking in front of the audience, all while promoting his fortnite centered twitch channel. There isn’t a single redeeming factor in this story... Everything is just nauseating.

This might have been a decent story if it was a straight faced drama, but with what I’ve seen from this story I kind of doubt your ability to write romance stories at all.

Fic: A Marvelous Day Author: ModdieFox Grade: F- Review: This fanfic is a big empty template that someone put a raridash sticker onto. Any character could be switched out and it wouldn't make a difference. There's no story, no build-up and nothing in this carries any weight or consequence. Everything feels hollow and manufactured. A loveless, soulless entry.

This needed to be longer (less exposition, more anticipation) and the narration should've followed either Rarity's or Rainbow's internal monologue about the ups and downs in their relationship that eventually lead them to getting married. Big pay-offs like weddings aren't satisfying if we don’t know the struggle.

Fic: Those Wedding Belle Rainbows Author: Tangerine Blast Grade: G Review: I'm at a loss for words... This is a story that relies itself on the stupidity of its characters to push itself forward. Usually I don't mind stupid characters if it's there to make them cute, but in this fanfic it exist for no other reason than to create unnecessary conflicts. The lack of common sense makes every character insufferable and every action taken and every piece of dialogue spoken are annoying and borders on infuriating. The story has no direction and spirals itself into meandering filler. The author couldn't even be bother to write an ending for this clustergack and instead he just copy&pastes a scene from Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean and calls it a day (no, I'm not joking). 

I have nothing else to say other than this is the worst raridash fanfic I've ever read in my life. This isn't your everyday kind of failure... This is advanced failure! This deserves a grade lower than F so I hereby award it with the special rating of G (standing for garbage). Kudos.

Disqualified entires:

Fic: Guiding Light Author: Gesstalt Grade: Disqualified (Doesn't follow a prompt) Review: This story tries way too hard to be poetic and mysterious, but due to its brief length it just comes off as unnecessary filler. It feels like someone opened up a book, ripped out a single page from it and presented it as a full story. Everything is vague and cryptic and you can't make sense of anything. Elements are presented with the implications that they have greater meaning but it never amounts to anything and everything just feels pointless.

Fic: Love Eternal Author: RDFan27 Grade: Disqualified (Doesn't follow a prompt) Review: In this story Rainbow Dash enters Rarity's boutique and stands still. It's a pretty ingenious concept, I gotta say! Think about it, Rainbow Dash likes sports so naturally she likes to move around, but because she likes Rarity so much she's willing to go against her nature and stand still!! It's the peak of romance!!! 

Sarcasm aside, this fanfic fails to be creative at every turn. Stories with this premise have been written over 300+ times, going back as far as 2011. I didn't like them back then and I don't like them now. This story's only redeeming factor is its ending which threw me into a laughing fit, though that wasn't a feat of writing as much as it was timing.

🌟 Those were all the stories! 🌟

Thanks to everyone who participated, hope you all had fun! Sorry if you didn't win, but not everybody have what it takes to be the best. I hope you found my critic helpful and that it'll go a long way to help improve your future stories!

If you found some of these ratings were unfair, tough cookie! This is a contest and it's not my job to hold your hand. If you don't understand the mechanics of basic story telling or just can't be bothered to write a sincere story, then you only have your own incompetence to blame. Get good or get bent, loser! 🎷

Let’s hear another round of applauses for @patchworkpoltergeist​ amazing story! 👏👏👏 Wooooo~ 

[epen409]

My top 17 favorite Movies, TV Shows, and Cartoons of 2017 in no particular order part Deux

11. Star Vs. The Forces of Evil.

I enjoyed Star Vs.'s first 2 seasons. But I'll admit, it had some episodes I found to be pointless, or pretty bad (the biggest offender being the episode with the magician, which committed the unholy sin of letting the episode where "Weird Al" Yankovic guest-starred in be the show's worst episode). Season 3 blew the last 2 seasons out of the water. It got more engaged in the show's story, it's been developing the characters to newer heights, it's been answering questions and questioning answers, it's overall become Disney's best current, dare I say, show in general. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do. Watching through the more duds of episodes in the first two seasons is worth it for every episode so far in season 3.

10. Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie

Another satisfying ending to a beloved show. Hey Arnold! is Nickelodeon's best non-Avatar: The Last Airbender Nicktoon. It had heart, comedy and dealt with issues like neglect, alcoholicism, toxic relationships, Hitler, the Vietnam War, and addiction in a language kids could understand. And the movie follows the show greatly, by wrapping up its biggest mystery. It had action, adventure, romance, and mystery (I'm starting to sound like a record player here). It was another great conclusion to an amazing series.

9. Ducktales

With so many great endings comes a great new beginning. If you loved the original Ducktales, and today's cartoons, then you'll love Ducktales (2017). It starts off with, you guessed it, action and adventure, then brought us along on another mystery. It reinvented the characters and world to great new possibilities, and even cast a great new cast to boot. It's a great reboot, and I recommend you watch it if you like to solve mysteries, or rewrite history. WOO-OO!

8. Legend Quest.

NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THIS SHOW! Seriously though, this show is tons of fun. It's about a boy, a witch, two ghosts, and an alebrije (A Mexican myth), and all sorts of mythical adventures they take around the world. One thing I love about this show is how they take myths from all around the world (Mexico, Japan, Germany, England, and the most terrifying of all, NEW JERSEY. Shudders), and combine it all together in an engaging and fun story. So what are you waiting for? Hop on your Netflix account (or whichever one you mooch off of) and check it out!

7. Buddy Thunderstruck

Here's another severely underrated Netflix cartoon. Among all the new cartoons this year, The funniest have been Milo Murphy's Law (which I also highly recommend), and Netflix's Buddy Thunderstruck. It's fast-paced and hillarous comedy, with the dim-witted and egotistical but lovable main character, Buddy Thunderstruck. It's got hillarious episodes, the characters are insane but fun, it's overall, a great show that deserves more love.

6. Kong: Skull Island.

Guess what idiot decided to skip the great live-action movies of the year, like Blade Runner 2049, Planet of the Apes, and Baby Driver, and instead watched films like Boss Baby and The Nut Job 2. Sigh. But at least one of the great live-action movies I watched and enjoyed this year was Kong: Skull Island. It had great action, and an engaging story, with good social commentary. One problem, the characters were not the film's strongest suit, which is why it's sometimes hard to feel bad when one of them kicks the bucket. However the one character that stole the show from the giant monkey (it's more fun to say monkey than ape) was John C. Reilly's character. Anyways, please go check out Kong: Skull Island if you haven't yet. It's one of the year's best movies that I don't hear get talked about as much as the others.

5. Coco

We all know Pixar peaked after Toy Story 3. However, since then, they've made 2 very strong movies. 2015's Inside Out, and this year's Coco. It brought cultural representation, it had a while cliched, still very well-executed story, memorable music and characters, and has one of the biggest hearts I've seen in a movie for a long time. Truly one of Pixar's greatest movies. It holds a special place in my proud corazon.

4. Muppets Take The Hollywood Bowl.

Okay, this wasn't so much a movie or TV show, so much as a live show that not everybody could legally watch, but I don't care. Its one of my favorite memories of the year! The Muppets put on a good ol' fashioned Muppet show. No mockumentary style, no hit or miss jokes, just a plain old Muppet show, with music, monsters, pigs in space, Swedish Chefs, and heart. It was an amazing show, that had all sorts of surprises, including a guest, Bobby Moynihan who had his time to shine, but didn't get in the way of the Muppets either. If you guys want to see what I'm talking about, mainly the whole show is available on YouTube. Trust me, even after how the whole Steve Whitemire firing disaster went earlier in the year, it showed that Muppets are here to stay, and ain't going anywhere for the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

3. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

Truly one of the funniest films of the year. Captain Underpants makes you feel like a kid again, even with all the toilet-humor, it gives off the vibes of imagination, creativity and fun that should never die, even as we grow older. It's also a very clever comedy, even with all the poop, fart and diarrhea joke, which normally don't work, but with this film, it actually has some sense and charm to it. It was a good movie, and although it didn't get quite as big an audience, I'm glad to see it's getting a cult following. One of Dreamworks' best movies in the past few years!

3. Stuff that I jumbled together and didn't have much to say about but I'll try anyways (Steven Universe, Welcome to the Wayne, Trial and Error, Little Witch Academia, Camp Camp, Cuphead, Super Mario Odyssey, Trollhunters, My Hero Academia)

Steven Universe: although there weren't that many episodes that came out this year, (Thanks CN) there were still some great episodes with great songs, fun character moments and huge bombshells of surprises.

Welcome To The Wayne: Now you may have heard this one, mainly because people have been calling it a Gravity Falls rip-off. Well, the people who say that can shut up. Even if it does have similarities, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Technically, Samurai Jack is a rip-off of a Frank Miller comic, and we all still love it. Anywhom, this show has a varied but very fun cast of characters, they have fun stories, and even an engaging story as well. If you passed on it just cause it has similar elements to Gravity Falls, please give it another try.

Trial and Error: It has a tightly knit story that comes up with surprise after another. Also, the mystery element of the show is also very strong too. You find yourself doubting who you think the murderer is. And trust me, the result is surprising and gut-busting. Its one of the best sitcoms since Parks and Rec ended. Give it a watch.

Little Witch Academia: A cute, beautifully animated and inspiring anime that's sure to tug at your heartstrings and tickle your funny bone at times. P.S. Akko is one of the best characters of the year.

Camp Camp: a hillarous and well-written cartoon on YouTube, that while it usually has a cynical attitude, has moments of humanity that are sure to bring tears.

Cuphead: although harder than a Christmas Fruitcake, a very fun and engaging game that also pulls off being a lovely tribute to the classic age of animation.

Super Mario Odyssey: One of the best Mario games in a while, and very fun and puzzling game.

Trollhunters: Another great season to this underrated show that brings fun action, adventure, characters and with how how it's going, I can't wait to see more from the world of Arcadia.

My Hero Academia: Although it starts off a little slow, it was still a very fun and engaging season that develops the characters nicely, and had one of the best action scenes from the whole year.

1. The LEGO Batman Movie

(Again, this list is in no particular order)

The LEGO Batman Movie is not only the best LEGO movie of the year (sorry Ninjago), but also the best Batman movie since The Dark Knight. It's goofy, it's hillarious, it's got references to Batman's mythos, as well as a few other franchises too, and a heartwarming message that shows even the darkest of knight can be light-hearted.

Here's hoping 2018 has more smiles and more great entertainment!

[podcake]

Week Five: Big Data Review

I like to think that the concept of innovative art only really reached its peak when the internet came along. I mean, there were people drawing on cave walls and writing with quill feathers and clattering on typewriters a little before that, but it was when the world wide web came to surface that the way we processed media truly changed. As a technology obsessed, sugar gargling millennial, I couldn’t possibly define myself today without a sweet, sweet machine able to give me immediate access to the art form of choice: podcasts. 

But let’s, for one very terrifying minute, imagine what it would be like if the internet was plucked away and whatever phone, tablet, or laptop you were reading this from was obsolete. Hell, I’m entirely obsolete. Your collection of cat photos on Facebook, your favorite recipes on Pinterest, your favorite Let’s Play channels-just slipped out of your fingers because seven thieves with seven keys to the internet had something else in mind. 

This is the general premise of Ryan Estrada’s first audio drama, the nine episode long Big Data. In this crime caper comedy, the entire world gets thrown into a frenzy when the ultimate source of information and privacy is taken away and we all get to know these thieves personally and decipher why they committed their crime before the internet is gone for good. Hilarity ensues.

Big Data is all around a show about the internet for the internet and has pretty big ambitions as an audio drama despite just how niche and personable the whole project feels. Despite it being the otherwise visual artist Ryan Estrada’s first real attempt at audio drama, at least as far as I’m concerned, Big Data has a certain level of polish that’s noticeable from a distance.

For starters, it’s presentation is pretty solid, namely due to the cast of talented voices working for it. Big Data has the kind of acting that sounds incredibly natural, making listening to it sound similar to peeping in on an actual conversation. This is especially helped by the use of everyday sound effects like buzzing phones and rustling clothes being played over silence that makes everything sound like a recording device was sneaked into someone’s bedroom. 

A whole episode sometimes just feels like an uncut piece of improvisation, especially with the only occasional sound transition and long winded conversations taking place in every other moment. For this reason,  Big Data mostly consists of very long scenes that are based around roughly two to three characters at a time which is only a fraction of the absolute clusterfuck of people introduced through the series alone. 

In terms of innovation, it’s readily apparent as to why I found Big Data to be the  crème de la crème for this month’s theme. Big Data is a weird show, bordering at the brink of absurdist at times. The show never goes full Serial Experiments Lain on us, though the concept is just complex enough for a lot of opportunities for creative and downright bizarre conflict. Not really in the abstract sense but more out of the sheer heights its dialogue is willing to peak to get a point across.

To its core, Big Data is a heist story that’s actually based off a real life practice created by something called ICANN. According to Estrada as well as an article by the Huffignton Post in 2014 and a more recent document earlier this year by ICANN itself, the seven keys to the internet holds a pivotal role over the internet. These are mostly measures for security, though Estrada seemed to do what most artists do and draw inspiration from some of the more strange practices of the real world for his own project. 

And it doesn’t stop there. There’s also mentions of other real life concepts thrown into the mix, including such things as cyber police, relay calls, and  photocopier black boxes that are creatively woven into an otherwise fictional story. Estrada takes the “reality is stranger than fiction” route to heart here which is a road less traveled for many audio drama creators and what he does with these ideas makes for some very one of a kind scenarios. 

Big Data could be best described as...big. Everything about it seems to take up space from its thirty minute run time for episodes to its long scenes of dialogue to its combination of varying issues that are embedded into each element of the story from hacking to journalism to media consumption. 

Even the setting itself seems to reside somewhere in the middle of other preexisting audio drama, the second episode including in-character commentary from the likes of Greater Boston and Welcome to Night Vale, to name a few. 

I don’t know if there’s a widespread podcast multiverse theory that exists anywhere, but a helpful dose of that opening scene and that one mini episode with The Bright Sessions and Ars Paradoxica around the same time never fails to get me grinning. And if Big Data is the center of it all as the result of some sort of combination of the hadron rift and whatever drugs The Meat Blockade universe is on, I would not be that hard pressed to believe it.

Big Data may just be too much of a puzzle for people looking for something a little more straight forward. With a lot of characters to follow who have varying goals and personality quirks to keep up with as well as the broad premise at stake here, Big Data, as the name implies, can be a lot to process in one sitting. And with the long, single takes making up the majority of episodes, there’s a lot of time spent peddling around dialogue that may or may not be relevant or getting any sort of real point across. 

Big Data tends to mistake swearing for humor if it doesn’t mistake long and awkward arguments for humor. And there’s at lest one per episode moment where one wonders how many minutes are left of a heated conversation before it wraps up. Not that it doesn’t have its clever and witty moments, though they’re often weighed down by scenes that don’t quite lay out the jokes as quickly as they could. 

If the abstract necessity of the internet and an aesthetic that borrows from educational nerdy shows-think the PBS Idea Channel and Wisecrack and the like-is too weird a combination to your liking then the show probably won’t appeal to you in any personal or artistic way. It’s a look and feel that’s very genuine and unique and not a vibe I regularly get from audio dramas that are almost always variations of horror or sci-fi with some type of new scripted comedy every blue moon. 

For that reason alone, Big Data is quite the novelty if you’re looking for a slightly more grounded comedic setting that is still rife with drama and action and I personally don’t think there are a enough of those that aren’t just improvisation groups.

In the end of the day, Big Data is a lot like an old and cluttered computer jam-packed with family photos, bookmarked news stories, student films, and whatever software it needs to run an indie game for you-lovingly constructed and planned out though often times messy with a tendency to lag. 

It feels like its biting more than it can chew at times and there’s often moments where it seems like things are all being cobbled together more on a desktop than a folder, but it’s all done out of sheer sentimentality and a true love for both audio drama, the internet, and the wackiness of real life manipulated into something very grand and exciting. 

Big Data is adventurous and able to take some risks with its kitchen sink of ideas that make for a fast paced and fun exploration riddled with some pretty memorable hi-jinks and characters you grow to like pretty quickly. Even if the taste itself was pretty small with only nine episodes to take in, if you don’t include mini episodes, it was at least as big a punch as Big Data should be.