#like. it has knights. but also it has actual vehicles and no reason for there to be horses whatsoever EXCEPT

[smallhatlogan]

looking at old art of knights and going "why the fuck didn't i put horses in my futuristic scifi setting"

[radiance1]

The Ghost Prince does not, under any circumstances, answer a summoning after it was made aware he existed. None know why he doesn't, some are bitter and hateful of it while others are thankful that it's one less bloodthirsty manic to deal with.

The Ghost King meanwhile hasn't been seen in multiple eons, so the magical community who wanted to use his power just, stopped, trying to summon him for a long time.

Most magic users knew that the Ghost Prince never answered a summons, and that the Ghost King just dropped off the radar.

So could you really blame Constantine for not taking it that seriously when some wannabe hotshot cultists try to summon both of them in the middle of a city to wreak havoc?

He'll give them some credit though. Points for doing it in broad daylight and actually being somewhat of a threat with not relying on just summoning the Ghost royalty and figuring out what to do from there.

The area they were in was somewhat destroyed, then the cultists manage to complete the summoning circle to summon both of them and Constantine, well he just light up a smoke.

It isn't going to work anyways so what does it matter?

...

Is that a fucking Ice cream truck he hears? Who the fuck is driving an Ice cream truck while their city is being under attacked with cultists trying to summon eldritch ghost royalty?

He'll give them some points for dedication, though.

Then he looked at the cultists and nearly had a goddamn heart attack to see that the summoning circle is actually fucking lighting up and working.

The Bat is so gonna give him a headache over this.

----

Danny Phantom, crown prince of the Infinite Realms. Does not answer summons.

For one, it is annoying as shit, whenever someone interrupts his day just to ask for infinite power (that he can't give), world domination (that he won't do) or infinite riches (which he also can't do).

It just got annoying being summoned all the time so. One day he just, well, no. And hey, it worked out well enough for him to not continue doing it.

Then he also learned that Pariah Dark is basically the same, after he got out the coffin and stopped trying to take over the world for whatever reason. He was actually a pretty swell guy!

He was just with him too, with him being not so swell at the time for making him go through lessons about Ghost etiquette, rules, stuff that's expected of him as the crown prince.

And don't even get him started on the engagement and marriage proposals.

Overall, he just wanted to find an excuse to leave. Then he felt the familiar suggestive pull of a summoning and, instead of rejection as he usually does in a second. He thought for a bit if he wanted to go with that or crown prince duties.

It was tempting, but dealing with cultists seemed worse than this so he was about to reject.

At least, before he heard an Ice cream truck playing in the background. He doesn't even know how the hell that popped up through the pull but by the gods has it been a while since he's had Ice cream.

So he answers and is gone with a pop.

Pariah Dark just stares for a good second or two, before breathing out and deciding to also answer. Fright Knight is just there, off to side, questioning what he should do now.

Danny wastes no time with the cultists on the other side and in fact, he pushes them out of the way and goes diving for that Ice cream truck he hears. Only to realize he doesn't, have any money on him.

Fuck.

Pariah Dark is less inclined to follow the rules imposed by humans like money, but he does know it can be important. Once in a while. Not that often, but it has its times.

So when he sees his adopted son being sad over being unable to pay for some kind of human delicacy, he digs around in his hair (yes, his hair.) and pulls out some money and puts it on the counter as payment.

The man inside the tiny vehicle had shrieked before getting what they wanted. Which is good. Fear is a good motivator, Pariah thinks.

Unknown to him, it wasn't out of fear (Well, mostly) but because the Ghost King placed down a coin made of pure, solid gold on his counter.

The two then go about their business in the human realm, completely forgetting about the fact that they were summoned here for something.

Constantine is both relieved and about to have an aneurysm at seeing Infinite Realm royalty only answering a summon because of Ice cream.

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 10/31

(Will start doing all members every other day tmw, will only do SM vibe checks as needed when the energy shifts)

Seunghan

The Stars + The Chariot + Knight of Pentacles

So actually, i had my eyes closed meditating while shuffling and pulling cards, and the stars popped out, and i did not realize it even fell out until i was already done pulling 2 other cards. SO i feel that is very significant. The Stars card generally i read as "Hope". So this theme is very very strong today.

He is feeling very hopeful today. He is now in the vehicle and understanding that things are moving and he feels in control. He is willing to be patient and wait for the right moment, knowing that he has done all he needs to do and all he can do.

He is feeling happy today, probably spending time with others. He may have eaten very healthy foods today? Dieting or moderation? But not unhealthily like fasting. Just like good nutrition. Overall, today is a bright day for him. There are some hidden anxieties, but he is very positive today and lets those go for now.

Final Notes:

He is feeling hopeful for the best outcome, and he is willing to be patient. I hope you all also understand we sometimes cannot have things in 2 days. The only reason it is taking this long is because it's mortifying for SM. That's why we have to show them just how much more mortifying it will be for them. Do not get distracted or lose hope. It isn't over until we give up. The only way they win is if we give up. Don't let that happen when Seunghan has this much hope.

[weebsinstash]

Ya know, I've made posts about the yandere Batfamily before, and I've been thinking lately about one person in particular, and I think I've decided that Alfred is probably the most dangerous and formidable person in that entire house and have been brainstorming what a formidable platonic yandere guardian sorta figure he would be

For one, he's the man that canonically kept THE Batman from going over the edge, basically THE sole reason Bruce Wayne grew into the man he is. Literally, in alternate universes where Bruce never had Alfred, he literally 9 times out of 10 becomes a murdering sociopath. Alfred doesn't just have intelligence, he has EMOTIONAL intelligence

We're talking about the tenured elderly man who is former MI6 and doesn't give a fuck about murder, has killed, and will kill again. Bruce finds someone attacking you, he'll beat them up and cart them off to jail to be arrested and rehabilitated. Alfred will pull a pistol on a robber and shoot him dead before he allows you to get even a single scratch on you, just puts the guy down, "oh dear, I suppose I'll be late making dinner tonight, it seems I'll have to give testimony to Mr Gordon again"

I've seen fics where the sidekicks kidnap Reader or disable them for Bruce's sake, but don't you think Bruce himself would cross that line for Alfred? This man cooks, cleans, does everything for him, is practically a second father and his greatest friend, really kind of RAISED HIM. I just picture Alfred getting attached to Reader like you're practically his grandchild and then you return to your normal life, move out after staying them for a period of time or whatever, and Bruce can tell Alfred is... out of sorts, a little sad frown on his old withered face as he absent-mindedly sweeps the same corner of the same room for an hour, sighing, thinking about how he wanted to teach you all sorts of things, but, you're just gone now. Siiiiiiiiigh. And Bruce can't stand seeing Alfred like, actually depressed, even making mistakes he doesn't usually make, dropping things, lacking his usual playful sarcastic wit, just kind of a shell of his former self. You don't think you'd be getting an extra super special Uber ride in the Batmobile from the Dark Knight himself after that?

But I also think Alfred would be capable of really putting his foot down. He once told a disrespectful Damian he should be thankful Alfred wasn't his father in a very "because I'd actually discipline you" coded sort of way, and, say Reader grew up without a dad, or any parents and maybe has some traumas and potential behavioral issues from that. I could see Alfred being the kindest, sweetest, most patient grandpa, teaching you how to bake, keeping you company in the library, teaching you all kinds of things, and then the second you do things like start getting drunk, acting out, THROWING things, then he's putting his foot down, "now you listen HERE! Your behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you will not be allowed to degrade yourself within the walls of this home!" and manages to simultaneously scold you without putting you down, leaving you in ashamed embarrassed tears over your behavior that you're standing there crying, and he pulls you to take a seat in a nice chair and starts combing your hair and telling you he just wants best for you while you're bawling for his forgiveness, and he tells you he's already forgiven you and that he can run you a nice bath before bed

I can see a captive Reader scenario where you manage to break out of the house while everyone else is gone and you think, oh, you're home free! Batman and everyone else is busy! Lost in your own hubris as if Alfred doesn't have perfect knowledge of everything in the Batcave including the equipment and vehicles. You're in an alley cornered by a bunch of drunks who just want to beat the shit out of someone and suddenly, is that Batman? Wait, the costume is different, and the height, and, the body shape, and, and, and it doesn't even matter because Alfred can still lay all of them flat, blood on his knuckles as he wearily regards you, "you're not going to make a tired old man have to carry you to the car, are you?" and after what you just saw, you know better than to put up resistance

But like I can't get over the idea of, Reader staying at the Wayne residence for a limited period of time, you're injured and Bruce is offering you safe harbor, you're being targeted by a specific criminal group and need protection until the thugs are caught, something along those lines, and, one day, when everything is better, you just. Leave unexpectedly. They had already offered you a permanant place in the house but you still seem to be falling into a depression until one day you're straight up gone, only leaving a note that Alfred is the one to find, only 3 word, "Thank you. Sorry." and hr suddenly??? Can't think straight??? You're gone??? Why??? Why didn't you tell them?? Are you hurt?? Did they do something wrong??? How is he supposed to know if you're sad or if you're hungry or if you're in DANGER if he doesn't know where you are and what you're doing at all possible hours?

Just visualizing the idea of Bruce coming home one day and you're suddenly in the house again and you're seeming very much distressed but Alfred is looking fit as a fiddle again and it is very extremely incredibly obvious to Bruce that Alfred straight up brought you back against your will. But. He doesn't care because he agrees with Alfred that OBVIOUSLY since you're a member of the FAMILY NOW that OF COURSE you have to stay in the house

Can you imagine yandere Alfred but Bruce and everyone else is just, totally normal and just hardcore mega coping with Alfred's sudden change in behavior and occasional questionable actions. One day Alfred is dusting and without turning around, "Master Bruce, would you care to fetch my granddaughter for me while i finish this room?" and Bruce is just like "granddaughter????" And Alfred looks to him like he just said something BEYOND stupid, "Yes, my granddaughter, about ye high, awfully broody much like yourself, currently housed in the spare second floor bedroom at the end of the hall on the right? You act as if she didnt help bake that casserole you and the boys absolutely devoured last night"

Nightwing going down into the Batcave for like actual mission stuff and Alfred is already using the Batcomputer to monitor all your online internet use. What's that, some young man is trying to slide into your DMs? O-oh no, there was, uh, suddenly a glitch and he received a threatening message with no traceable source that told him to stay the bloody hell away from you! Whoops!

You're just his captive little grandchild who he helps teach recipes to and teaching you anything you're curious about. You make an offhanded comment one day that you would've loved to learn to play piano "but I'm too old now/it's too late now/I probably wouldn't be any good at it" and later on, after Alfred has brought you back after trying to live alone again (you being drugged if need be), and when you wake up he's all smiles, telling you about all the new structure he's about to introduce to your life, and, of course, you have to pick a day of the week for your new (now mandatory) piano lessons :) on Mondays you'll go for walks and have tea in the garden, Tuesdays you'll read in the library, on Wednesdays you'll learn piano, on Thursday he'll teach you a new recipe every week, Friday--- this old man is gonna force you to be productive and happy is all I'm gonna say

[unknown-goose]

Team Prime If They Had The Fate Series’s Servant Classes

Lately I have been obsessed with both F/GO and Transformers and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem lmao. Also this isn’t proofread because I’m writing this at work so if the spelling is off, you know why.

Optimus Prime

• He is a Saber, no questions asked

• And no, it is not just because of the Star Saber

• Character wise he is the embodiment of the perfect knight class servant

• He cares deeply for his allies, cybertronian or human and loyal to the end…..and maybe the sword also (lol)

•Ignore that he mainly uses his cannon, there are sabers that punch their swords lmao, anything goes in the fateverse

• (Im actually making a in-game kit for him rn!)

Ratchet

• His experience in the medical field would make him an excellent Caster

• A little bit of damage and a little bit of healing is always needed

• Beware if you give him Synth-En however, then you’ve got a Berserker on your hands

• I’d imagine his madness enhancement passive would rank pretty high so you might want to stay away

Bumblebee

• You know I’m kind of stumped with this one, so you know what? I’m going to make him a Rider just for the fun of it

• Usually this class is reserved for those operating the vehicles but screw the rules, I like whimsy!

• There’s no fun in slapping the Berserker class on someone if I can’t think of anything else

• The game breaks its own rules all the time, so I will too!

Bulkhead:

• He is easily a Berserker, he’s a wrecker after all

• He’s a big guy who does a lot of damage and easily breaks things on accident

• Has a big heart, but still does a lot of damage

• I didn’t have as much to say as I thought I would honestly

Arcee

• She is a good candidate for the Assassin class, but I’m placing her in the Avenger class instead because it’s cooler (it’s my favorite, what did you expect?)

• Think about it, she’s always seeking opportunities to avenge her fallen partners

• I mean she’s been held back a couple times, but the intent is always there

• She just wants to kick decepticon ass and honestly I’m here for it

Wheeljack

• He’s a Berserker, easy

• He does what he wants, does it his way, and really doesn’t take to being held back that well

• Typical Berserker behavior tbh

Ultra Magnus

• The perfect Ruler class candidate!

• The way he oozes authority, his adherence to rules and regulations

• The answers so clean cut I can hardly imagine him being anything else

• I feel like his in-game kit would be more on the offensive side for his class, less support oriented

Smokescreen

• Once again for whimsy’s sake, he’s going in the Alter Ego class

• No actual reasoning here, I just like putting characters in situations

• A cool character going in a cool class, as it should be

[wortsandall]

i have to admit that when it comes to the au im writing-one of my sticking points is how to write layla and what role she would be playing. i feel out of place when it comes to her and marc's relationship because i truly believe that they should spend some time getting to know each other again before jumping back into a relationship.

when adding in stevens perspective, that just makes even more sense to me. i don't particularly enjoy writing romance. i think that when layla appears in my fics, she'll be a close friend who is rebuilding trust and relationship with marc while getting to know jake and steven.

i'm also a little biased here, not because i don't enjoy polyamory, but because i always thought it was very quick for steven to kiss layla and for her to be as accepting of it as she was. (i was kinda with marc when it came to punching steven for that lmao) i also think that because of all the lying and secrecy that marc engaged in while dating layla, it's almost unfair to her for them to just jump back into the swing of things. marc was right when he said that she didn't know him and that's objectively his own fault.

so long ramble just to say that layla in my au will be purely platonic as that's my preference when it comes to her being shipped with both marc and steven (again no hate against either ship, i'm just not super into it) i'd like to focus on layla rediscovering marc without the romantic aspect so that i can build a strong foundation for them to potentially get back together, properly, in a more healthy relationship this time. and even if steven does like layla (that's been well established) and it will show up in my fic, the endgame will not be them as a trio.

i want to elaborate that the reason being that came from reading moon knight comics the idea of marc being afraid that people like jake and steven more than him.

Moon Knight (2021) #14 "Solider, Rich Man, Scoundrel"

i'm really interested in using layla as a vehicle to discuss this fear that marc has in the fic. since he sees steven as "better" than him, i can imagine that he'd be afraid that layla would pick steven over him. so in this period where they are actually getting to know each other and opening up, i want to focus on steven acknowledging this fear of marc's and actually stepping back and reevaluating. especially since in the show, steven doesn't have any idea what marc and layla were like when they were actually together and i can't imagine show!steven continuing to pursue that if he thought it would hurt marc.

obviously marc's thought process here isn't a healthy one but i can't wait to go theough the process of dismantling this. and i want steven to be a part of that discussion. if later on, i want to revisit the idea of steven, marc, and layla in a throuple doing it this way leaves me a lot of wiggle room for how they get there.

but i'm a romance repulsed aromantic person who only enjoys it in fanfiction and media so it's very difficult for me to write romance. even in my oc writing (which is literally about a couple) it's not very romantic. so most likely i won't go down that route but i want to leave it open for interpretation.

all this just to say that i will be explicitly writing layla with strictly platonic relationships with the boys but i'm open to potentially making it romantic down the line.

the lies we tell ourselves au masterpost

[driftward]

I am not sure what to call it - ludonarrative resonance of a sort, maybe - but I like to mix little things from the game into my narratives.

As an example, I haven't written it down anywhere yet, but Zoissette gets disoriented after a teleport. This makes sense, after all, navigating the lifestream to get to an aetheryte is at least a little imprecise, and it makes sense that someone would need a moment to get their bearings upon 'landing'. But the reason why I headcanon that for Zoissette is because I, the player, more often than not head off in the wrong direction immediately after teleporting. I land, I take off, and then I'm like no wait the marketboard's actually in that direction. So that's true for Zoissette in universe as well. She has to take a moment upon landing to look around stupidly and match landmarks to directions, and she often will head off in one direction, only to awkwardly have to turn around and correct to where she actually wants to go.

Another one is that recently I wrote this story, and while a lot of it is referencing my other writing (Zoissette's aether being limited) or friends' writing (Estinien in a relationship with Riven), one bit that is straight from the game is that I have Zoissette working on a submarine in the workshop. Why is she doing that? It's certainly not been a part of her character before. Well, after last year's Junelezen, I took over our FC's workshop and I'm now in charge of our vehicles. So I folded that in to what Zoissette does. Narratively, she is now a wrench wench as part of trying to find a way to make herself useful despite new limitations. In reality, I just took over the vehicle bay.

I also like to justify my in-game decisions from my narrative. Zoissette is a knight and a scholar, so those are the two jobs I always keep at the level cap, they're the jobs I prefer, and I am working on getting every relic for both of them. Even in cases where I don't actually like the look of it much, but it feels important that Zoissette would go out of her way to try to be the best she can at both of those jobs. And I did the Heavensward relic because the little anima fairy reminds me of the Scholar fairy, and I have folded some of that into my writing and her story as well.

Finding my own ludonarrative resonances. It's fun.

[ilikekidsshows]

Is the kpp ask game still up ? I want to request Alya and Felix (love your rants about him <).

The KPP ask game

What's that? Someone is outright asking me to dunk on Félix? Don't mind if I do.

Alya suffers from the same problem Luka does, except she actually gets more screen time and the writers keep up the illusion of utilizing her for longer. Alya has a lot of interesting building blocks that actually got used in the earlier seasons, like how her reporting is such a big motivator and a great way of getting her in the thick of things for the episode’s plot, and how her honest nature can be in conflict with her desire for the big scoop. She also has as much of a drive for justice as Marinette does, but she’s more balanced about it. The foundation is so solid, yet nothing really got built out of it.

I would have loved more focus on her reaction to getting to be an actual superhero, and on her relationships with her co-heroes. (Her and Nino getting to know each other’s secret identities in their second outing as heroes was such a wasted setup.) Alya has a lot of stuff going for her that didn’t get utilized properly, but that the fandom latched onto, fortunately.

Then she gets turned into the writers’ vehicle for reminding the audience that MARINETTE TOTALLY LOVES ADRIEN OKAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH SHE DENIES IT ALYA KNOWS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THE WRITERS DECIDED SHE KNOWS IT.

Hot take, even many Miraculous fans who don’t rag on Félix like I do think his characterization is inconsistent at best. This walking, talking plot device has no character, only roles the writers have him play, which is really weird for a show that at least tries to have consistent characterization and motives for every other character. With Félix they can’t even settle on whether or not he’s a villain, changing his motives to be more (arguably) altruistic every time he shows up. It’s weird they manage to be so consistent on this with Lila and Chloé, but Félix just veers straight from selling the kwamis into slavery (while apparently being a slave himself so his entire character is just slavery now) into being Kagami’s consolation prize love interest and knight in shining armor.

It’s hard to say how the story treats him, to be honest. Look, it’s not like canon tells a good story with him, but it’s not like he’s neglected or mistreated by the writers either, considering he gets more importance in the narrative of 'Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir' than CAT NOIR. He’s the writers’ pet, clear and simple, he always gets his way and gets away with things, but it’s never in the service of having him do anything really that interesting, specifically because there’s no reason the stuff Félix does has to be done by him specifically, because he never gets any repercussions. His role in any episode outside of his first appearance could be played by anyone or any other plot device.

He didn’t get beaten up enough in the show proper. I am willing to make the difference. Put them up, feather twerp.

[ozblok]

My 5 Favorite Bayverse Transformer Designs

5. Dark of the Moon - Shockwave

I'm not usually a fan of Transformers without an earth mode but this was just so badass. They not only made him a scientist but also a bounty hunter that hunts down his targets. His arm cannon is just perfect to me, he can change ammunition types with a pull of a lever from large blasts to smaller yet multiple missiles. His face is menacing with a insect like maw snaring out orders. He's even accompanied by a massive monster he created known as the Driller Bot forged from his fallen enemies and now a rampaging beast. I especially love the ribcage design in his chest, really gives him an alien appearance.

4. Dark of the Moon - Que (Wheeljack)

Personally an underrated character in the movies, yes I understand the problem with him being Wheeljack. Mainly the fact he looks nothing or sounds nothing like how he does in the original source material, but I don't care. I absolutely love the Albert Einstein look they ave him, I'll admit I don't see him as Wheeljack but more of a separate character "Que". He actually invented things to assist the autobots like battle modes for their vehicles, armor, weapons and tools for battle. They even gave him a lab coat look on his waist with some car interior and how he's just wearing tools on him just in case. Shame they killed him off would've loved to see more from him, rest in peace Que.

3. Revenge of the Fallen - Mixmaster

A good reason why I love the Bayverse designs is the USE of kibble from Alt modes to robot modes and Mixmaster is a great example of creative kibble use. Basically making the entire back of the truck become his arms which are equipped with massive shields for defense against enemy attacks and projectiles. To balance out this wall they have his a massive artillery cannon on his back which he needs to do a handstand to actually use it and it must pack a serious punch. His vehicle mode also comes with a decepticon insignia on the mixer and a custom hood ornament which was unnecessary but happy they gave him it. Plus he gets an upgrade from G1 cause instead of being the foot/leg of Devastator he gets to be the frickin head, my favorite constructicon.

2. Transformers 2007 - Brawl

I see Brawl as the weapon specialist of the decepticons, an equal to ironhide given to how many weapons they manage to fit on both his robot and tank mode. The tank treads and mine sweepers on his torso is yet another great example is creative kibble management, even storing tank barrels on his and rocket pods on his shoulders. His squishes head design looks grumpy and old, giving off a vibe like he takes his job seriously, managing to take on a group of soldiers and autobots but his death in the first movie. If Barricade got a redesign I'm the Last Knight based off a cop,I wonder if Brawl survived maybe he would've been based off a sergeant or a general.

Transformers 2007 - Blackout

This right here is my favorite decepticon NO my favorite transformers to ever exist. The very first transformer to be seen in live action and he singlehandedly annihilated an entire military base. His kibble of the helicopter appearing as a bulking vest decorated for battle, even using the helicopter blades as a kind of cape with the motor above his head. He even is given a minicon Scorpinoks who can be launched and stored from his back, it can be used for scouting or filtration in enemy lines for a sneak attack. Blackout is a soldier who tends to get his orders done, his isn't a fool like his massive younger brother Grindor who tumbles Everytime he lands almost falling over. Blackout is equipped with weapons such as the rear propeller as a spinning saw, miniguns, chest turret and powerful waves/pulses of energy. Ever sense I was a child Blackout has been my favorite for years even with his limited screentime, I praise the bay films for hooking me into the transformers franchise and giving me something to enjoy.

[roobylavender]

theres been a discussion of reeves vs nolan take on selina recently. someone said the nolan one was better and theyre currently getting dogpiled.. what is your take on whos better?

nolan unequivocally. i feel like people get caught up in nolan selina’s occasional sexy lines (which are cringe and i do dislike, to be clear) as a means to discredit the character altogether despite the fact that there’s so much emphasis put on selina having agency and liberty to do as she chooses, which is a quintessential aspect of her dynamic with bruce. he disapproves of her actions and methods at times but he respects her personhood and he doesn’t make choices for her bc obv he doesn’t have a right to but she would also never allow him to. their dynamic in the dark knight rises is great bc it is holistically predicated on a respect for her decisions, her bitterness, and her compassion. i do think there are other criticisms you can make as to how nolan selina sort of subtly reinforces the propaganda of the trilogy; i do not have the link at the moment but when reeves’s batman came out there was a youtuber who made a video comparing reeves selina to nolan selina and talked about how the latter’s whiteness did play into her ability to escape confinement and consequences easily, which when you juxtapose against the racism driving nolan’s casting and the recent shift to acknowledge selina as a potentially biracial character, can spark valid concerns as to limiting the potential class commentary she was actually capable of as a character (and i will address this later with respect to reeves selina). but that valid criticism aside my preference for nolan selina has to do with maintaining her character and relationship integrity, which to me is the most impt thing you can do in an adaptation. if the plot and circumstances will change, what you should at least try to do is maintain the core of the character, and nolan does that marvelously with selina and bruce (likely bc dixon, whose work the nolan movies are largely adapted from, actually tended to write these two well)

now, obv with reeves selina a huge reason for supporting her in comparison is the racial visibility, esp when you, again, consider why nolan originally rejected zoe for the role in his movies. and i do think that’s highly valid and frankly i want non-white selina, bc it makes her contentions with and distrust of the state as established in catwoman (1989) that much more palpable and worthwhile to explore. but a racebended casting doesn’t automatically do the work for you and there’s still a character integrity you have to maintain. and i think this is something not only reeves but dc writers at large tend to understand poorly. there’s so much racebending happening in comics these days and i do think it’s a useful vehicle but not as it’s actually used in practice. the changes are superficial rather than going to the root of the character. so i personally find reeves selina to be a huge insult to the character, bc rather than use that racebending as an opportunity to expand on selina and her hardline opposition to bruce and the state, it’s not really used to do much at all (which honestly can likely be attributed to the fact that everyone involved in making this script and plot was white!) and selina is instead regressed from what she was in the comic that reeves’s take on her was based on. catwoman (1989) and catwoman (1993) for that matter are huge novelties in selina’s history bc they are near insularly focused on her. we play by her rules and everyone else in the picture is a reactionary. the reeves movie turns this on its head bc now selina is subservient to bruce’s arc and to his decisions. he dictates what she does until she’s finally fed up with it, which we’re supposed to applaud despite the fact that bruce does nothing short of condescend to her and victim-blame a sex worker, and bc he ultimately saves her from her anger in the end so it’s romantic. the romance is the priority throughout the entire movie. there are brief moments of selina’s rebellion but as a whole she has no control over her arc bc bruce’s arc comes first. i also think the final scene where she says “the bat and the cat. has a nice ring to it” (or whatever it was, close enough) to be a complete misunderstanding of their dynamic at its inception. this movie purportedly based its selina on mindy newell’s work but somehow fails to recognize that mindy newell’s selina expressly disdained the idea of being associated with batman bc her independence and defiance was the entire point. even if you want to argue their dynamic in the movie is a reflection of what it has become in the comics now, those are depicting bruce and selina’s relationship with each other more than twenty years after they first met. it makes no sense to make selina so amenable to bruce in the beginning bc it completely undercuts the fact that she’s right in her class stance from the start. and it also seems to reiterate the prevalent misconception that for a romance to work between bruce and selina she has to soften her edges and anger, despite those being the exact things that made bruce attracted to and sympathetic of her

[twistedtummies2]

Top 15 Portrayals of the Scarecrow

A while back, I did lists for what many would consider the four key villains of Batman: Joker, Catwoman, Penguin, and Riddler. I recently updated those countdowns, should you wish to go back and revisit them. However, lately, I’ve been on sort of a kick for another great antagonist of the Caped Crusader…that being the Master of Fear himself, Scarecrow.

Jonathan Crane, a.k.a. Scarecrow, is perhaps one of the most analogous villains to Batman himself in the Dark Knight’s Rogues Gallery. While all of Batman’s best villains tend to parallel the hero in some fashion - either acting as a dark reflection of the Caped Crusader, or as a direct contrast to him - I would argue the Scarecrow is the one who most obviously and directly has this comparable element. Batman’s entire modus operandi revolves around intimidation and fear; he dons the trappings of a mysterious creature of the night and behaves in seemingly ghoulish ways as a means of frightening his opponents. He is also a being of great intelligence and cunning, using his scientific and deductive reasoning to outwit and pursue his antagonists.

The Scarecrow mirrors this quite directly: Jonathan Crane is a psychiatrist, a brilliant man, who wears a creepy costume and uses a variety of weapons to instill fear and spread terror and horror throughout Gotham City. The most notable of these weapons is his patented Fear Toxin: a hallucinogenic substance that causes people to experience their worst fears with shocking realism. The difference is that while Batman uses his mind and his scare tactics to mortify criminal scumbags, the Scarecrow is far, FAR less moral: abused and tormented constantly as a child by his family and his peers, Crane is an out-of-control sadist who wants nothing more than to see all of Gotham City scared quite literally to death. Sometimes he uses the excuse of furthering the cause of science as his motivation, but it’s always clear that Crane is simply a cruel man lashing out at what he perceives to be an equally cruel world. In a way, he is the most obvious example of who Bruce Wayne could have become if he’d allowed his heart to be twisted to evil.

The Scarecrow is a villain who has had a steady sort of rise in popularity over the course of his long career in comics. He’s more popular nowadays than he probably ever has been, but he’s not quite as iconic as characters like Joker or Catwoman. Still there’s been some decent reinterpretations of  him beyond the comics. So, today, I’d like to give attention to my favorites! Without further ado, here are My Top 15 Portrayals of Scarecrow!

15. Dave Wittenberg. Wittenberg provided the vocal effects for the Scarecrow in the first LEGO Batman Video Game. (In the first game, none of the characters actually spoke, they just…sort of made noises. XD ) In the first game, Batman has to take down three separate groups of allied villains, each with their own sinister plots to foil. The Scarecrow is one of several villains - including Harley Quinn, the Mad Hatter, and, of all people, Killer Moth - who joins forces with the Joker in the third chapter of the game. He agrees to help in an elaborate scheme that will destroy Gotham Cathedral, and spread a deadly gas all across the city. Scarecrow serves as a playable character on the villain’s side of the story, as well as in the “freeplay” mode of the game; for the hero side of the story, he is the designated “vehicle boss” for the Joker’s chapter of the game, as he uses a suped-up crop duster to spread his Fear Toxin across the city. The heroes thus have to hop into the Batwing to stop him. The character would later reappear in other LEGO titles, but this was the only major role he ever really played. Playing as the Scarecrow - even in LEGO form - is a lot of fun, and the biplane boss is pretty cool, too; ultimately, I just feel other Scarecrows are more impressive.

14. Jim Meskimen. Meskimen voiced the Scarecrow in the gloriously wild crossover film, “Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Loosely based on the comic book miniseries of the same title, the story focuses on Ra’s Al Ghul and the Shredder working together in a mad scheme to - of course - destroy Gotham City. As part of their elaborate plan, the two villains make a deal with the Joker, who releases several of the inmates inside Arkham Asylum, and then douses himself and them with the mysterious green goo called “The Ooze,” causing all of them to transform into human/animal hybrids. In the case of Jonathan Crane, he transforms into - what else? - a giant crow, and does battle with both Leonardo and Batman himself. Scarecrow turns out to be one of the more prominent rogues of the bunch to appear, as the haunting images he forces Leo to see under the power of his Fear Toxin come back to haunt the leader of the TMNT later in the picture…however, I’ve never really liked the look of Crane prior to his transformation, and his role is ultimately just too small for him to get any higher placement.

13. Don Messick. Messick was one of the earliest depictions of the Scarecrow in other media to exist. He played the character in the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon series “Challenge of the Superfriends,” an early incarnation of the Justice League. In the series, Scarecrow is one of the (unlucky) thirteen villains who make up the nefarious Legion of Doom: a coalition of supervillains, led by Lex Luthor, who have banded together with two simple goals in mind. First, destroy the Superfriends…and second - you guessed it - take over the world. Messick’s Crane was a wonderfully creepy character, with a very off-putting design and a disturbingly raspy, sinister voice; he was one of the most unsettling villains of the whole group. Oddly enough, the Scarecrow did NOT use his signature Fear Toxin as his weapon of choice; instead, he apparently had control over a flock of trained crows, which he used to help him spy on people, commit robberies, and do all sorts of other dastardly deeds. I have a lot of nostalgia for this show, and I do love the look and the voice for the Scarecrow. However, much like with the previous two versions, there just wasn’t enough time devoted to the character for him to be a truly grand interpretation.

12. Andre Stojka. Stojka played the character in a follow-up series to Superfriends, entitled “Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians.” The series took place in the same continuity as the earlier Superfriends show, but by now, the Legion of Doom had disbanded, and its villains were working all on their own. Scarecrow appeared in one of the most well-known episodes of the show, “The Fear,” which delved into the dark and tragic origins of Batman. It was here that we met the Scarecrow’s alter-ego of Jonathan Crane for the first time outside of comics, and it was also the first time the Scarecrow’s signature tactics of making his foes’ worst fears come to life was finally put to use. In the episode, Crane masquerades as a well-meaning psychiatrist, attempting to help the police and cure Batman of his mortifying fears…while, in reality, he commits daring heists as the Scarecrow, using not Fear Toxin but “Fear Transmitters” to bring to life the horrors of his nemeses. While I personally feel Don Messick’s voice and appearance were more frightening, Stojka’s Crane - despite getting only one episode to his name - has more layers to his character, and more time to shine, as well as having his signature gimmick in some fashion. This was the first time the Scarecrow really started to come into his own in other media, I would say, and this episode served as a template for basically every future introduction to the character.

11. Dee Bradley Baker. Baker’s Scarecrow is perhaps the quintessential example of the character just not having enough time to fully come into his own. Baker played the character in the TV series “Batman: The Brave and the Bold;” in the series, most of the episodes were opened up with a pre-titles teaser (similar to a James Bond movie, for example), which would usually be disconnected from the rest of the episode’s story. The Scarecrow served as the antagonist of the teaser for one of my favorite episodes of the show, “Trials of the Demon.” In the teaser, Batman teams-up with Jay Garrick - the original Flash - to combat both Scarecrow and an original villain, Scream Queen (a sort of evil Black Canary). It’s Halloween, and Scarecrow has somehow managed to infect all the pumpkins in Gotham City with a special form of his Fear Toxin. While Flash and the Scream Queen have a merry chase throughout the city, with Garrick using superspeed to gather all the pumpkins before it’s too late, Batman does battle with Scarecrow and his goons directly. Baker’s voice was glorious, and I love the design of Scarecrow here, as well as the way he’s depicted as a strong physical fighter, along with his Fear Toxin’s effects. This easily could have been one of the greatest interpretations of the character in animation…but unfortunately, this Teaser (along with a non-speaking role as a villain in the video game based on the show) was really the only role Scarecrow had in the entire series. I really wish we could have seen more of him.

10. Christopher S. Field. Field plays the Scarecrow in the online game “DC Universe Online,” where he serves as one of the mission bosses. The mission is one for the heroes’ side of the game: the Player is sent on a mission to rescue Batwoman, who has been kidnapped by Crane. Both the Player and Batwoman end up trapped by Scarecrow in a huge arena, flooded with a special form of his Fear Toxin. The battle involves multiple stages, as Crane uses the Toxin to bring to life numerous hallucinations, all based around specific phobias. It’s a fun boss fight, and Field delivers one of the better vocal performances of the game. His Scarecrow is theatrical and over-the-top, but also genuinely creepy at some points. Definitely an underappreciated portrayal of the character, in my opinion.

9. Robin Atkin Downes. Downes played the Scarecrow in the two-part animated adaptation of one of my all-time favorite Batman stories, “Batman: The Long Halloween.” This classic tale takes place at an odd sort of “middle time” in Gotham’s history: on the one hand, many of its famous supervillains - like Joker, the Mad Hatter, Catwoman, and, obviously, Scarecrow - already exist and are active. However, they are still very much “on the rise,” with Gotham’s gangster families - the Falcones and Maronis - being the real major threat to the Gotham populace. The story, in a way, tracks the fall of Gotham’s old guard of criminals, and the takeover of the supervillain; an evolution in the way crime works in Gotham City. The film is a pretty faithful and solid adaptation, in some places even improving on the book. Downes plays a truly creepy take on the Scarecrow, with a dangerously dark voice. He first appears in the second half of the film, where he escapes from Arkham Asylum and teams up with the Mad Hatter, the pair of them, in term, joining forces with Carmine Falcone in a plan to kill Batman. The visuals for Scarecrow, as well as the actor’s vocals, are really fantastic, and I’m glad that the film jettisoned the bizarre writing tactic Jeph Loeb used in the book of having the Scarecrow speak almost entirely in quotes from Nursery Rhymes. (He does something similar with the Hatter, but him speaking in Wonderland quotes is one thing; Scarecrow talking in Mother Goose language never really made sense to me.) However, once again, the Scarecrow is just a supporting player in the events that unfold; he’s fun to watch, but other versions just do more with the character.

8. Charlie Tahan & David W. Thompson. This is where things with the Scarecrow, in my opinion, start to get REALLY good. In the TV series “Gotham,” we get a great new interpretation of Jonathan Crane’s beginnings. In Season 1, Jonathan Crane - played by Charlie Tahan - is still a teenager, living with his abusive father: a scientist named Gerald Crane, who is experimenting with a chemical formula that will one day become Jonathan’s own patented Fear Toxin. At the end of Jonathan’s story arc in Season 1, he ends up exposed to these chemicals, which causes him to go completely insane as he begins to hallucinate visions of a demonic scarecrow monster chasing him around. Later, in Season 4, Jonathan returns, and a series of events causes him to completely lose his grip on reality, thus becoming the Scarecrow. Tahan left the show at this point due to scheduling conflicts, so for the remainder of Season 4 - as well as into the 5th and final season - the Scarecrow was played by a new performer, David W. Thompson. It was interesting to see a younger version of the Scarecrow, effectively just seeing the character get started on his evil path, and the reimagining of his origin story - inspired by the incarnation from the New 52 continuity - was pretty well-handled. The only reason this Scarecrow doesn’t get higher on the list, is that - while I personally think Thompson’s Scarecrow costumes were better than Charlie Tahan’s, and he had a more menacing voice to accompany them - the character sort of takes a downgrade after Tahan’s departure, as he ultimately just ends up playing second fiddle to other villains, like the Valeska Brothers and Bane. Once again, they didn’t really DO much with Scarecrow in his later appearances. Still, it was always cool to see him, and I do like what both performers did with the part.

7. Dwight Schultz. Schultz played Jonathan Crane in the direct-to-video Halloween special, “Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo!” The film focuses on the Mystery Inc. Gang trying to stop a horde of man-eating monsters, and features no less than three special guest characters: Bill Nye the Science Guy, Elvira...and, of course, the Scarecrow. The Scarecrow is the secondary antagonist of the film, as he starts off as a red herring figure, seemingly the villain behind the evil goings on. However, it’s later revealed he’s not responsible, and he actually joins forces with the heroes to stop a greater threat. There is so much that’s AWESOME about this Scarecrow that it’s hard to list everything succinctly. It bizarrely shows the strength of the character by surprisingly NOT having him team-up with Batman (the Dark Knight never even appears in the story), and by having him never use his patented Fear Toxin. He has to stand up on his own terms, without any of his usual support structures. I also like that the special actually takes Crane pretty seriously; there’s humor involved, make no mistake, but neither Schultz nor the writers turn the Scarecrow into a joke. He’s a bit of a ham, and is revealed to actually be a sort of fanboy for Elvira, but he’s also able to be legitimately threatening and dangerous. Finally, it’s really neat to see Crane go from villain to reluctant hero in this story. He doesn’t help out of the goodness of his heart, but seeing him work together with the heroes - ANY heroes - is just something I don’t think has really been done before. I never would have expected a Scooby-Doo Halloween special, of all things, to give us one of the most fascinating depictions of the Master of Fear to ever exist in animation…but by Gadfrey, these mad fools found a way to do it!

6. Henry Polic II. The portrayal of the Scarecrow in the first three seasons of “Batman: The Animated Series” seems to be somewhat polarizing. I personally think this is a great interpretation. While ultimately not especially frightening on his own accord, Henry Polic II gives us what I would argue is one of the most comic-accurate renditions of the Scarecrow to date, with some of the most fun episodes to his name. This take on the Master of Fear would prove rather influential; performers like Dwight Schultz, Christopher S. Field, and Dee Bradley Baker all seemed to take a leaf out of this man’s book, with Scarecrow voices that were able to be both creepy and quite melodramatic. There’s really not much to say about this version; in my opinion, it’s a classic interpretation.

5. Robert Englund. In the fighting game “Injustice 2,” Scarecrow appears as a member of a reimagined version of the classic Legion of Doom, this time led by Gorilla Grodd rather than Lex Luthor. While, much like in Superfriends, he actually doesn’t have that much to do in the actual main story of the game, Injustice’s Crane wins major points largely due to the medium he’s being presented in, combined with his voice actor. As far as the former goes, Crane is a playable character in the freeplay and Arcade modes of the game, as well as a recurring boss in the main story; this means we get a lot more time to enjoy him when compared to Superfriends or some other interpretations. Heck, the aforementioned Arcade mode basically gives you a special story with Crane as the villain protagonist, which ends with him on track to become a veritable God of Fear intent on spreading terror to the entire universe: that’s more than a great consolation prize, in my opinion. The way Jonathan Crane is allowed to work in this kind of medium is also pretty imaginative: the Scarecrow pictured here, you see, is actually a monstrous hallucination that appears as a result of the Fear Toxin. The real Crane (who has a design inspired by the Nolanverse version of the character) is a much shrimpier and less physically imposing individual; the Nightmare is what we are really fighting. Speaking of Nightmares…you can’t really go wrong with Freddy Krueger as the voice of the Scarecrow, can you? Disregarding previous forays into the DC Universe, playing such characters as Felix Faust and the Riddler, Robert Englund basically already played a depraved Master of Fear and made his bloody career out of it. If making him the Scarecrow wasn’t the most ingenious vocal typecasting I’ve ever heard of in my life, I’d like to know what else would fit that description.

4. Cillian Murphy. I actually revisited these films recently, and I have to admit…I was a little torn on whether or not Cillian Murphy’s depiction of the Scarecrow really deserved this high a place in the ranks. In some ways, upon revisiting the character in these films, he’s better than I remember, and in other ways…I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s WORSE, but he’s more underwhelming. The reason why is very simple: I think the actual DEPICTION of the Scarecrow is a pretty solid one. Interpreting him as a corrupt doctor at Arkham Asylum itself was a nice new twist to the origin story of Jonathan Crane, and I personally think that Cillian Murphy - while by no means an OBVIOUS choice for the role of the Master of Fear - delivers an absolutely spellbinding performance across all three pictures. There’s also a lot of great visual moments and scenes for the character, in general, that just sort of collect in one’s mental soup and stay there. This is especially true in the first film: the sequence where he reveals himself to Falcone, the scene where Batman gasses him right back, the imagery of a fire-faced Crane racing through the misty streets of Gotham on horseback a-la “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” all of it is just breathtaking to see in action. And, of course, there’s definitely credit to be given with the fact that Murphy’s Jonathan Crane is the only antagonist who appears in all three movies of the trilogy, and - aside from Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn in the DCEU, perhaps - he’s the only cinematic Batman villain to HAVE that distinction. The real issue with Murphy’s Scarecrow is simply that, like so many other versions of the character, he never really gets to shine in the spotlight. He’s always working in the shadows of other, more prominent antagonists. In the first film it’s Ra’s Al Ghul, in the second film it’s primarily the Joker, and in the third film it’s mostly Bane. I feel like if Murphy had been given a starring role in a movie, at some point, he could have been one of the greatest cinematic Bat-Rogues of all time, and easily could have made my Top 3.

3. Jeffrey Combs. When “Batman: The Animated Series” entered its fourth season, entitled “The New Batman Adventures,” the decision was made to revamp a lot of elements of the show. The most notable change was in the visual style; all of the characters were redesigned to fit the new aesthetic. While some of these redesigns were fairly minor in their adjustments - such as with Two-Face, Clayface, and Harley Quinn - a lot of them were quite drastic in how they changed the characters. With the Scarecrow, not only was Jonathan Crane given a newer, much more horrific design - apparently inspired by Leatherface from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” - but also a new voice artist to replace Henry Polic II. Who better to tackle the Master of Fear than Lovecraft’s Reanimator, Jeffrey Combs? For many fans, this was the first truly frightening version of the Scarecrow put to the screen. Much like with Andre Stojka, Combs really only got one major appearance in the part, but it was certainly a memorable one: in the episode “Never Fear” - inspired by the comic book story “Fear For Sale” - the Scarecrow uses a new form of his Toxin that, rather than instill fear, takes fear AWAY from the victims. It doesn’t sound so bad, right? Well, here’s the thing: fear is largely what gives people self-preservation and common sense. We typically avoid doing dangerous or illegal things at least partially because we fear the consequences of such actions. Without fear, we have far fewer inhibitions. Scarecrow thus plans to plunge Gotham into a state of chaos, unless he’s paid for the antidote. This Scarecrow would reappear briefly in another episode, “Over the Edge,” but he was really more of a background presence there. He would also return, complete with Combs’ voice, as the first villain featured in the beat ‘em up video game “Rise of Sin Tzu,” where he uses a variant of his Fear Toxin to summon ghostly visions of some of Batman’s other enemies to help him do battle during his boss fight. This, to me, is still one of the greatest versions of the Scarecrow ever made. Once again, the only real issue with him is one wishes we could have seen even more of him…and I’m very grateful to report, that is the last time I have to say that phrase. It certainly does not apply to my top two choices.

2. Dino Andrade. While “Batman The Animated Series” and the Dark Knight Trilogy were instrumental in introducing the Scarecrow to a broader audience, I think many would agree the Batman: Arkham Games were what officially cemented his popularity as a character. Until these games came out, while I heard a lot of people say the Scarecrow was one of their favorite Batman Villains, I almost never heard any of them say he was their ABSOLUTE favorite. But, ever since then, it seems like almost any time people name their favorite Bat baddies, Scarecrow is at least in the Top 3, if not number one. Dino Andrade played Crane in the first game of this series, “Arkham Asylum,” and most people agree that the Scarecrow Nightmare Sequences were probably the best part of the whole game. Andrade described the character as “essentially a demon” and “a Shakespearean villain,” and his performance definitely matches both these descriptions: much like some other Scarecrows on the list, it’s a vocal set dripping with melodrama…but unlike such performers as Henry Polic II and Dwight Schultz, there is absolutely NO humor to Andrade’s diabolical and deranged Prince of Panic. He’s a truly unhinged, nightmarish figure, easily one of the most frightening versions of the Scarecrow ever created. While Scarecrow is not the main villain of the game, this is a case where I actually don’t think he’s underutilized at all. Partially due to the nature of the story and the medium its presented in, Crane feels as if he really does get his just dues in this interpretation, neither overstaying his welcome nor coming across as glanced over. Andrade would reprise the role in a spin-off game of the series, “Arkham Underworld,” where players were actually able to play AS the Scarecrow, along with a few other villains (namely Killer Croc, Harley Quinn, and Riddler). His work there is just as magnificent.

1. John Noble. After years and years, and numerous interpretations, of the Scarecrow being a character who occasionally stole the show but never really claimed the spotlight, “Arkham Knight” finally gave the character the break he’d been needing. In the third and final major game of the Arkham series, Crane returns not just as a supporting antagonist, but as the main villain of the story. While the Joker certainly has a role to play, and the actual main ANTAGONIST is the titular Arkham Knight, the Scarecrow is the rogue whose actions and desires really drive the plot forward. He is the mastermind behind all the misery befalling Gotham City in this tale. John Noble - an actor renowned for his dark and sophisticated voice - plays Crane with urbane frostiness, presenting a more intellectual and manipulative Scarecrow than the one in Arkham Asylum. The game even offered updated reinventions of the Nightmare sequences from the first game; instead of stealth-based platforming sections, they instead became obstacle courses and action sequences in the Batmobile, but with the same hellish and depraved scope. While I wouldn’t say Noble is my definitive Scarecrow, I would say he was, at the same time, the Scarecrow who had a little bit of everything: able to use fear not only through his Toxins, but simply through psychological warfare, and with truly frightful appearance and a performance to match. I fear there is no doubt in my mind that he is My Favorite Portrayal of the Scarecrow.

[merearly]

This fiction is in remembrance of Alexei Navalny, the martyr.

Heaven On Earth

A bone-chilling wind pulled him back to reality. Alexei realized he was not in heaven but had woken up from a doze due to the cold. After prolonged sleep deprivation, his health was even more miserable than vegetables under freezing rain. He remembered that his most recent memory was of passing out unknowingly a few hours ago, while his cellmate was still struggling with his uncontrollable vocal cords. He tried to sleep on the cold, hard pillow, even though it made every vertebra in his neck painfully aware.

He began to observe his surroundings and realized he was on a vehicle. Where else could I go? he thought, nothing but from one purgatory to another. Was this his trial? Like Khodorkovsky, who spent ten years in prison, changing his perception of time. And what about himself? Had he changed anything... He was no longer afraid of the cold; he no longer needed sleep. The image of Khodorkovsky, a round-headed, sharp-nosed Jew sitting on the train, leaning over to him, saying, "This is not the end of the fight, but the beginning of the real struggle.”

Then Alexei remembered a New Year's Eve many years ago, when he was grabbed and spent the night in jail, surviving on thick socks passed in by a friend, before being dragged to court the next day. These horrific experiences were not unfamiliar to him, just the cold. He had returned from Germany after being poisoned, underwear poisoned, doused in green antiseptic – these trials were like the scars on a knight's face, the medals of valor for the brave, and his armor.

"Oh, today is Christmas." Alexei suddenly realized, hoping this wouldn't mean his team would have to work overtime during the holiday. He laughed to himself, remembering the summer he was transferred to IK-6, how his team panicked when they suddenly lost track of him.

What was the point of it all, what meaning did it all have? he asked himself again. The Slavs lived under the yoke of the Mongols for many years, under the reign of Ivan the Terrible and Stalin for many more years. If there was any difference between the present and history, it could be summed up in a joke: Nicholas I was Genghis Khan with a telegraph, Stalin was Genghis Khan with a telephone... There was never any difference, always anachronistic, always a failure. He certainly wouldn't dream "what if" dreams like a cowardly daydreamer: What if Yeltsin wasn't a damned drunk, what if Putin had fallen early in the metals case, what if the winds of freedom had swept the world. Building happiness in illusions is easy, but that wasn't his mission. The tsar tried hard not to crucify him with his own hands, and for this reason, martyrdom became his fate.

Cold, still cold. Moderate cold makes the mind clear, but excessive cold blurs the line between reality and delusion. He saw his tall friend, the eternal 55-year-old playboy, his soul floating in his prison cell, existing in a form of gas and consciousness. "My dear, I won't be able to attend your funeral, alas! Dear Sakharov Prize laureate... I was actually pondering your future, it's quite simple really, either like me or like Khodorkovsky." Nemtsov waved his hand, "You'll be joining me soon!"

"No, I must find the third way, someone has to finish it."

"I no longer care, ideals only attract the living. Sakharov, ah, Sakharov, I met Boris Yeltsin at Sakharov's funeral, he told someone he wanted a son, to pass on his name Boris. I told someone, I'm also Boris, he's missing a son, and I lacked a father, I felt a father-son bond in my relationship with Yeltsin. You see how much I cared back then. Now, much has changed, but not for the better, fortunately I'm already dead, I don't care anymore, the dead have no principles or mercy."

"Do you know what I'm most afraid of?" Navalny propped up his emaciated head with one hand, like a starved kangaroo. The ghost of Nemtsov raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "I'm afraid that one day I'll drink gin, numbly watching Putin's propaganda on TV, then shed regretful tears. Then I'd truly become a pitiable and despised beast." Tears rolled in his green eyes.

The ghost of Nemtsov wanted to embrace him but couldn't, he could only try to press his head close to him, "You won't, you won't. Do you know why? Because you're alive, you have humor, you are active thought itself, you are a new story, but they are just imitating the old czarist executioners; you are the story waiting to be told, while they are the forbidden words."

Suddenly, his illusion shattered. A prison guard grabbed his leg, dragging him off the prison van, pulling him along a dim concrete path, and locked him in IK-3, at this point Navalny did not know he would spend his last less than two months of life here. He was still prepared to repeat the request rejected by the previous prison; he wanted a balalaika, he wanted to tell his cellmates he was a black belt in taekwondo, it would be great to have a kangaroo, but in this minus 32-degree environment, he wasn't sure if that counted as animal abuse.

Alexei Navalny, he wasn't good-looking at all, the close set of his eyes, casting shadows in their sockets, made him seem more villainous, but anyway, it was all over, he had left the tsar's cruel Earthly heaven for the real Heaven. Peter Aven once wrote of Berezovsky's life: A man's life story cannot be great without tragedy. This also applied to Navalny's life.

It was an ordinary afternoon at first, the president sitting in front of the crowd with a microphone; the political prisoner walking near the Arctic Circle in winter, then he felt heart-piercing pain, he knocked on Nemtsov's door once again.

And this time, Boris opened the door.

[sepublic]

            In Dark of the Moon, we had this giant missile truck Decepticon named Devcon, after… The Autobot bounty hunter from G1? He’s absolutely nothing like Devcon, let’s be real, they just gave him that name because it sounded cool.

         I do want the Combaticons and Bruticus to appear in the Nizziverse, which of course means that Brawl survives the end of the first film, taken into custody and eventually freed by the Decepticons in DotM. As I mentioned, Swindle is also present in the first film, since in the video game adaptation, there was a Decepticon drone named Swindle.

         Nizziverse Swindle will of course resemble the character as we typically know him, probably taking more inspiration from TFA’s depiction. Since 2007 has our Transformers playing more covert roles amongst humanity, Swindle factors in as someone who is pretending to be a human who is controlling a smart car from afar, when in reality he IS the car. He’s supposed to be scouting out Earth as a potential colony, but mostly he’s interested in black market dealings with the native population.

         Swindle has no prejudice against organics, but he isn’t exactly their savior, either. He’s just here to make a quick buck and while keeping Cybertron is a very costly expense, he feels he has a bit more freedom underneath the Decepticons regardless. I imagine Swindle’s dealings end up as a lead that our human protagonists follow, resulting in an encounter with the Decepticons. Swindle’s mostly in it for the money, and he’s had a notorious past of selling advanced tech to organic races.

         But when the Allspark is sighted? Swindle drops everything and convenes with the other Decepticons in the area to seize the Cube. They ultimately fail and Swindle slinks away to operate in the background; Aside from maybe a brief appearance in Revenge of the Fallen, he doesn’t return until Dark of the Moon. As his fellow Combaticon, Brawl was assigned to keep an eye on Swindle, but the conman still runs circles around his teammate.

         Aside from forming Bruticus in DotM, Swindle also plays a part with Soundwave in brokering deals with local humans as part of the big Decepticon plot. This is the main reason why Swindle was sent as a scout in the first place; He’s good at working with the natives of a world the Decepticons plan to invade, turning their cooperation and deals against them for Cybertronian benefit.

         But, this all brings me back to Devcon. I want Onslaught in the Nizziverse, except he’s technically already there in The Last Knight… But let’s be real, I don’t want the leader of the Combaticons to just be a recolor of Long Haul, a Constructicon from another Decepticon combiner team. I love Long Haul’s design, but it’s not meant for Onslaught, and TLK’s version of him was too far removed to be sufficient.

         So not only am I going to reimagine the TLK character as a new Decepticon entirely, but I’m assigning the identity of Onslaught to Devcon, since that’s a much better fit than an Autobot bounty hunter. “Devcon” is big enough to form the torso and head of Bruticus, since the Combaticons will be that type of combiner like the original toys, as a contrast to the Constructicons. And as mentioned, the vehicle modes actually match!

         Given his alt-mode, Onslaught may have been present on Earth since the Cold War, and didn’t show up to fight for the Allspark because he was landlocked on another continent, and couldn’t get there in time. He acts as one of the Decepticons’ best tacticians, his command expanding beyond his fellow Combaticons, and he helps Megatron mastermind their plan in Dark of the Moon.

         Of course, that’s three Combaticons; I still need Blast Off and Vortex. Since Blast Off is a space shuttle, I want him to appear in Dark of the Moon, which is very space and NASA-themed in general. Blast Off might have a different alt-mode though, perhaps a more modern space drone, since an actual space shuttle is too disproportionately large for Bruticus’ arm, especially in contrast to Vortex.

         Blast Off helps take over for Soundwave in monitoring Earth from space, arriving after Revenge of the Fallen. He’s a VERY long-range sniper; He has the unique strategy of calculating his shots from the orbit of a planet, using gravity to help guide them down to the surface where his target is (He’s inspired by the real-life concept of kinetic bombardment).

         Said target usually has to be very large and stationary for this to be pulled off, but it’s impressive nonetheless how Blast Off times and uses the rotation of a planet to his own advantage. He can plan shots in advance, firing once, and then weeks later it finally lands. You know how snipers take into account the trajectory of the wind? So does Blast Off, but he factors in gravity and the planet’s orbit. Like in G1, he’s kind of an aloof, literally and figuratively above-it-all snob who’s VERY proud of his sniping skills and aim, and his feats have occasionally been exaggerated to claim he can nail targets from another planet entirely.

         Blast Off acts as an arch-nemesis to Cosmos, who will also appear in Dark of the Moon; He prevents Cosmos from figuring out the moon plot, acting as a defender for the Decepticon presence there. When the Decepticons launch their invasion, Blast Off assists with his carefully-timed strikes. But when the Battle of Chicago occurs, the Decepticons decide Blast Off is more needed as Bruticus than as an orbital sniper, and so he flies down to form the dimwitted combiner.

         Then we have Vortex, who is a helicopter smaller than Blackout, and… Well, since we have two Combaticons debuting in 2007 and Dark of the Moon, I guess the only space left for his debut is Revenge of the Fallen. I’m not really sure what I’ll do with Vortex here, since we already have Blackout acting as the film’s helicopter. He’s probably just gonna be thrown into the final battle for the sake of having him there, to save space in the other films, before he returns in Dark of the Moon to form Bruticus.

        This does beg the question, of course; Why aren’t all five Combaticons in place at once? That’s how Combiners best operate, to take advantage of their big gimmick. And my Watsonian reason is that by the 2007 film, Vortex and Blast Off have been critically injured and were still on Cybertron to be repaired (Bruticus must’ve gotten into a painful fist fight). 

       Their remaining teammates went ahead of them, and since they couldn’t form Bruticus, opted to split up since it made no difference that way; Hence why Onslaught is in Russia, while Brawl and Swindle are in the U.S. Vortex is repaired and arrives on Earth by Revenge of the Fallen, but it isn’t until after that film’s climax that Blast Off fully recovers, and as I mentioned before, reconvenes on Earth with the rest of his teammates.

        (Dunno if Blast Off is smitten with Onslaught like in the comics or not. There might be a subtle detail of Onslaught being the only person Blast Off doesn’t act snooty or condescending around, implying a particular respect and maybe something more...?)

[the-firebird69]

NEW! Macalister Motors Superfin from Fast Furious Spy Racers by RGTV

https://youtu.be/EoBQ95ijV1s?si=RNeEI0U82JuYs8Ou

The car is unique to the movie in other words we think that we make it and they use it in the movie and it's not a known brand and it's very hot and it's designed very well and designed to be a fly car and a converted car a front wheel drive car of any kind will work and we need this and we do know what the study has shown about the regular sedan this is for a mid size which is not the compact it's the size our son had as a Kia Optima and the step up from his is a perfect fit to make this car and he wants to know if Mac wants to turn Lori's into one and it's symbolic and it will be reminding people. And he says no someone will try and do that but then he gets the idea we're doing it and it doesn't mean that so he's gonna look at it and he is frustrated and angry and you keep all the original stuff and if she's moved or comes out you put it back together and he says wow that's good then you can do it to my car now he's interested because this sounds like the stupid idea that might come out and Tommy F actually took the car and he might be sashy and he's Sasha Cohen we think. Who is also infested in the furious no is in the movie Talladega Knights. So we're gonna get going on this and I'm approving it and he wants to help and he wants to send me prototypes using the Kia because he's appreciative of his father and mother and they say we don't want to do it but we might have to. And this car would be awesome. There's no such thing as mcallister racing and there will be he says and people have in mind in memory and think I remember that from somewhere. The name actually came from the TV show with the Coyote X as Judge McAllister and he does point that out and then he's responsible for this kind of thing happening with the serious fast and furious that's a cartoon but it's not really it's cartoonized if you watch it it's very intense. This stuff is very hot and a lot of it is his and he's a giant I am too but not that class you have to understand he's doing it for a reason. Everybody thinks they can steal stuff and you don't end up with anything. I guess it's the thrill of the Chase. This car will be very fast and it'll be fun as hell to try and chase our friend around in it

mac dady

ok ok this is the car and i do grab it and from japan i think.  and it would be trump. and it makes sense now. It's true as hell and it's I was involved in the Volkswagen but that was not the same type of vehicle it's fast but it's not fast it's made to be like a regular coach and the platform that this is on is like the platform that Dave had and it's a little bit beefier and the Kia is a little bit beef here believe it or not it's got a real frame and he was safer in that car than most cars. And it's really stupid because he's gonna look loaded and he has absolutely no money but people probably try and get him money because he looks loaded and that's not the answer the answer is that he is not loaded doesn't have anything and it's the Mac code and they want them to look at people like our friend here and we get it didn't work with the Kia then they put it on the Kia wait that makes sense. They had it ready too

tommy f

and this is fun He says if I establish a track record he's going to have to try and break it and he might try it himself and that would be intense. His father and mother won't let him they say so have BG do it but with his car I can't stand this this is what it's like that guy can really move in its BG it's because he doesn't weigh anything and he'll call him the lightweight all night until he starts arguing and it makes BG feel better believe it or not. This is gonna be fun and he says he wants to do it and he wants Tommy have to get going on it he says he's got the design and it's the one with the funny looking rear end he says no way that's the one people like it's like a fly car and a friend says make it a little shallower cause that's actually a little bit big. Agrees in some angles it looks massively awesome and he's going to go ahead and try and do it but really it's not his car so wondering who his car is and you can see the movie where it comes from and it's from Trump and Tommy F has to take it because he thinks they might have stone chips that are different or know where they are it's going to start up pretty soon it's not the same car as the one he made recently that's the venom this would be different and he's worked on this he says because of his mouth he says that we're his people and stuff and it's actually the first vehicle he gets after all of this crazy stuff and there'd be an agreement and stuff for him to drive it around and the reason why is a little bit obscure and is famous for certain things and all these famous wealthy people know him and John Remallard knows that and if he gets this car they're going to be sticking to him instead of just him getting plucked clean

bg

Olympus

and sit pass it ll by and be a pompus ass. no but ok. and yeh he takes it serously. and it is sasha.  we ddo this. breake sherrys record.  I all of a sudden see what you're saying I break the record of hers sasha will break mine with your car and the Mac Proper will come out and he might break the record before you get it and Tommy F says that's kind of how it went he didn't use it much maybe once or twice and put it back and that's the story and it will make them come out and and we see what happens we think it works.

trump

andyeh the charis lol needs money for tht and i laugh ok the same chairs lol not heavy

...

Olympus

Wow you figured it out but it's out of love and he loves his wife and he wants to be with her and us too with his father and his mother and his best friends and we grew up with him every 2nd of the day. We know how he is he doesn't like these people they're weird and **** you'd like to show them down and to beat them at their own game in the race and to bring the Mac proper up and yeah they have Sasha do the race if someone gets the track record after the one our son to do it and that's how it's done this is great this is greatness OK this works for me. I'm starting to see what he's saying he's gonna be a big man for us and he's gonna do it on purpose and he wants to and is ready to and all these people are very lame but that's good and we have time and we're building.

Thor Freya

and he is fun but man what a tude like trump sings and trumpsings it out of ignorance mostly but  man ok youi shouild seethe readout off the chart. for my people and  up there

macs

we see it

mac daddy

Oympus

[clockworksteel]

Well, quarter of the way through the year. Might as well review how the goals are doing.

Overall, despite the lack of any notable bad events, it was kinda a rough start. Too many appointments, perhaps. There's my housemate's ongoing medical issues (probably some sort of appointment every 1-2 weeks on average so far this year, plus trips to the pharmacy), my vehicle safety inspection came due in February, did taxes, had my own doctor appointment, there were dentist appointments that didn't actually happen, plus of course the worse end of daylight savings happens in the first quarter.

Anyway, the goals:

1: Have some sort of exercise habit again

Honestly, nothing to comment on here. I haven't even made plans.

2: Take care of at least one longstanding thing in the house

I put the auto-closer on the back door, although without the chain that it kinda also needs to deal with the wind. Still, reasonable progress on an unambitious goal. Should've probably made it, like, 2-3 tasks. I'd like to get the water heater replaced in the next few months.

3: Clear the stacks of papers from my desk

I've done a couple sessions of cleaning the papers a little, just looking through for anything that was an obvious trash/shred. Mail has come in too, but I think the stacks are overall lower. Still, need to step it up.

4: Make some more progress on gender stuff

Not much concrete progress here. I haven't really sat down and just thought about things at all. (Also there's been a thing that's been bothering me about my parents and religion since my last visit on Christmas break which has kinda consumed my idle thoughts a bit. May need to try to put it all into words at some point.)

Still, I've made notes of various stray thoughts, events, and dreams as relevant. That's resulted in 15 distinct notes so far this year. I won't be sharing all of them in detail.

I think the most meaningful one is that, after earning the Challenge Enthusiasts goal "Void Given Focus" I thought that would be really cool as a gender. And you know what? When I'm gaming, that's what I am. I don't think it applies when not gaming though. So I guess that's just the "Clyceer" gender. They/them pronouns for that still.

The other ones are some variation on "sure wish I was trans", notes about dreams, and also I have another dress now.

5: Earn at least 100 more Challenge Enthusiasts points

I thought this was going to be a whole-year goal, I already have earned 110 points. Perhaps my neglect of other things hasn't entirely been due to exhaustion, but also a lot of these were just done on my weekly Saturday streams.

I'll probably keep going for more points, but may slow down the off-camera stuff. My full notes also include the start times, but here's just the points.

Jan 23: Ittle Dew got a 5 point objective that I'd already completed (won't count for goal, but is a point gain, technically noticed on Jan 29)

Feb 4: Achieved Lone Fungus "Spores and Spells" objective (10 points)

Feb 5: Achieved the Blasphemous' Miracle of Penance (10 points)

Feb 7: Achieved FTL's Federation Victory (15 points)

Feb 10: Achieved Hollow Knight's Void Given Focus (30 points)

Mar 2: Achieved Patch Quest's Monster Hunter (5 points)

Mar 9: Achieved Haiku, the Robot's Anti-Corruption Protocol (15 points)

Mar 23: Achieved ZeroRanger Grapefruit Smasher (15 points)

Mar 23: Cyber Hook's Retrowave Traceur (10 points, and my first First Person points) Full Challenge Enthusiasts profile: https://cedb.me/user/9f1f4644-b3d3-40b7-a348-fb9ce59222c4

6: Finish Factorio and at least one other game that I haven't played in over 4 months

Yeah, the other video game-related goal is done already too. Should probably throw in Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair sometime this year. It's a Challenge Enthusiasts goal, and all I need to do is beat the titular Impossible Lair with the completed bee shield.

Jan 18: Finished Hue, which hadn't been played since May 27 2023

Jan 25: Finished Factorio

Feb 18: Started Psychonauts 2: I'd never started it, but bought it long ago enough that I'm writing it. Probably will take a while because it's a video playthrough, but is basically guaranteed to finish now.

Unrelated to any start of year goal, I've also taken up interest in the Super Mario Maker Team 0%, and have started helping out with Super Mario Maker 2. I've beaten 13 levels from 2020 so far this year. Not any that were particularly impressive, but cleaning up the mere Expert levels and kinda garbage Super Expert levels frees up time for the good players to grind the truly tough ones.

[thetruearchmagos]

Well, well, well! We seem to have gotten ourselves in the subject of military structures... :)

So, got some thoughts about this one, which are in no way meant as a slight against your sheer breadth of horse-related knowledge! Still, I've been spending too much time thinking about the role and history of cavalry forces to not want to talk about them.

Why Are Some Modern Military Units Called 'Cavalry'?

So, I'll start by saying that tank units and cavalry units, though having an overlap, aren't necessarily 'inherently' tied together much.

For a case study in the use of the term Cavalry, I'll keep to what I know and use examples from the US and Commonwealth militaries. There, you get units like:

The King's Royal Hussars,

And the 11th Armoured Armoured Cavalry Regiment, two units with pretty obvious Cav. distinctions in their names and histories.

At the same time, it's important to note that that many Cav. units, such as:

The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards

And various Squadrons of the 17th Cav. Regiment, carry on similar traditions but without the heavy armour, or in the latter's case even staying on the ground.

What, then, is the cause for the use of the term 'Cavalry' to name the military units of modern armies? As a military focused Worldbuilder I've definitely put some thought behind the question, and here are some things I've come up with. Of course, I'm an amateur, and none of this is really set too hard in stone!

Knights Of Old, Knights Of Now: Legacy And Lineage

Off the bat, here's a simple to understand, if arguably less important, sort of explanation. It's especially prominent in the British cases above, where those two battalions have histories which stretch centuries, well before the first motor vehicles ever rode the earth. I mostly raise this point to say something about the importance of the notion of heritage, which has for so long been a key factor of morale and cohesion for military organisations. Most Armies take pride in the past actions of their institutions and units, and carrying on their names is often hoped to encourage currently serving members of their own organisations to 'do their best' in the manner of their predecessors.

Particularly in cases where units have ties to certain regions and their populations, such as the above RSDG, these names may have the additional effect of enhancing the ties between a military service and the people they serve and draw their strength from.

Indeed, I'd argue that in the KRH's case, lineage is the only reason for the continued use of Cavalry vernacular for the unit. As we'll see below, Cavalry units fill certain roles, which from what I can gather the KRH as a unit does not, or at least not specifically. [The UK's approach with what's termed the Regimental System is actually quite interesting, but beyond our scope.]

What Is Cavalry Now?

Here, we move on to the more 'militarily relevant' reasons for the continued existence of the Cavalry as a distinct branch of the armed forces. I suggest that Cavalry exists not defined by the 'substance' or materiel it uses, be it a Percheron or a Patton*, but by what it seeks to do for the commander in the field. And that goes a little beyond being 'incredibly destructive'!

For this, I draw heavily on a number of online sources, mostly US ones since the brits [as far as I can tell] refuse to share them anywhere I can get at them! Since they're official publications, I'm sorry but I'm probably gonna butcher them by the end of this, but I hope what I've got will be informative! Also, this is going to have to restrict itself to a strictly modern-ish age perspective on Cavalry. If I had to include Antiquity, the Middle Ages, napoleon's day, and on and on, I wouldn't actually be able to pull it off since I don't know the periods, and we'd also be here all day. Maybe next time......

To Know Your Enemy

I'll start with what is, as far as I can tell, the most important and uniquely 'Cavalry' role that the branch serves: what's often termed 'Fighting for Information". The big job of a commander is to orient and direct their command in order to achieve its mission. Flailing around blindly in the dark is not terribly conducive to that. Thus, as stated in Cavalry Operations [FM 17-95]**, Cavalry "clarifies, in part, the fog of battle". From the same resource, "[the] fundamental purpose of cavalry is to perform reconnaissance and to provide security".

That somewhat neatly divides that term I used, 'Fighting for Information", in two. From this excellent resource I managed to find, these twin purposes of Cavalry could be [very, very, very much] simplified as:

To gain information on an enemy force by fighting their main strength, and forcing a reaction that can then be observed;

To deny the same enemy force the chance to do the same to your own forces;

And to fight as needed to position the Cavalry unit to carry out the above.

The first task is in a sense a more active mission, serving to gain information in the face of concealment or deception that would foil the attempts of other sources. The next is more of a reactive task, as it doesn't always require the Cavalry unit to seek out and engage an enemy force, and can involve acting more as a 'tripwire' of their presence.

Thus, by defining Cavalry as those units able to carry out these functions, you might see how all the above examples of Cavalry units might fall under that pretty wide umbrella of a term. Tanks, light or heavy vehicles with dismounts, and even aviation assets could have the capacity to carry out the various tasks assigned to the Cavalry. Regardless of their ability to pull off other missions, when organised as Cavalry and told to fight like Cavalry, for our purposes they become Cavalry.

Heavy Metal: The Role Of The Tank In Cavalry

Finally, we come to tanks, the sub-topic inspired by the fun fact that inspired this whole... thing. If it's possible for a Cavalry unit to be such without the help of these 'heavily armored [sic]*** and very expensive" vehicles, why would a Cavalry unit need them?

Indeed, there are a number of challenges posed by the presence of tanks, which exist regardless of what role the unit serves but which impact that unit to different degrees of importance depending on its mission. A major issue might be the burden of sustainment, which can be seen with the fact that the Abrams tank consumes over a gallon and a half per mile cross country. To keep them in the fight, a robust and large train of supply would be needed. Tanks, alongside other heavy vehicles, might pose constraints on mobility in more complex terrain, and the need to utilise only certain routes with considerations for bridge weight capacities and the like.

As Cavalry's ability to fulfill its functions is strongly tied to its ability to manoeuvre faster than enemy forces can, some might think tanks would be more trouble than their worth.

While that might be the case in certain contexts, where circumstances favour them tanks provide what nothing else can. A key advantage of Cavalry is its ability to fight with enemy forces to force them to reveal information and react the way the commander wants them to, and tanks give otherwise lighter Cavalry forces the firepower and protection they need to make an appreciable impact. You'd just as soon ignore the presence of a troop of main battle tanks as you would the charge of the Light Brigade, but the former might last a little longer in the face of cannons which volley and thunder.

Finally, while tanks and similarly heavy armoured vehicles might guzzle fuel and have a hard time in urban areas or thick woodland, tracks can outperform light wheeled transports in certain environments. In more open country, the former usually fair better offroad than even the most well rigged wheeled vehicle. That is, after all, why the tank was invented in the first place.

----------

Conclusions

I don't really have any. This was a real wild ride to write up, and now that it's done I'm struck by a strange sort of terror that I can't explain. I guess I hope I wasn't too wildly misinformative about things. If anyone, anywhere, gets anything out of this, I'd be pleasantly surprised.

Really, all this experience has taught me is that I am just a colossal nerd who reads too much when it comes to this field. As if I didn't know that already......

I'd like to Tag basically everyone I know, but for now I'll Tag @athenswrites @hessdalen-globe @caxycreations @lividdreamz @r-eight

-----------

*I hope anyone reading this appreciates that joke!

** Did I read all of it? Heck no, but luckily for me most of the relevant stuff was actually in the first chapter.

*** I refuse to acknolwedge the existence of the absence of that 'u'!

Hi there! Arch here, I've got a question for you!

You see, I've got this family of armoured vehicles in the 12 Worlds which I've decided to name after various "Trades" / professions. One of them's called the "Farrier", which as far as I can tell refers to someone helping to put horseshoes on horses. As the only person on this great Internet that I'd trust on anything horse related, was wondering if you knew any other jobs / Trades in that field like that?

GASP you've given me a gift this day

You're correct, farriers trim, rasp, and fit metal shoes to the hooves of horses. Depending on if you want to go for historical military related jobs or stick to civilian jobs, there are a ton!

Civilian:

Groom, Jockey, Outrider, my personal favorite the Dude Ranch Wrangler, Floater(horse dentist), Coachman, Hackman, Whip, Stablemaster, Postilion, Piquer, Constable/Marshal (originally related to care of the stables), (horse) coursers, and Saddlers

Military:

Charioteer (fun fact, this is also the name of a irl tank!), Knight(of course) squire, Hobelar, Cuirassier

I restricted these to solidly English language terms, but if you are looking for some amazing terms, there are many Spanish or Spanish-derived terms referring to American ranchers and herders, for example Vaquero. There are also many French-derived words such as chevalier that have entered the English lexicon. I also didn't bother including to more hilarious ones such as cowpuncher since I assumed you wanted at least some aspect of seriousness.