#like. in what way. just because you say something in the structure of a poem or quote doesn’t make it true

[devilsskettle]

i’m convinced the “soft is also strong” rhetoric that is so popular in fake deep rupi kaur-esque instagram poetry is designed to keep young women complacent

[beebopboom]

Acrostic ✨Clues ✨

So a neat little thing Good Omens did for the promo for s2 was create some character playlist.

Very quickly though it was discovered that each and every one of them contained a hidden clue word. By taking the first letter of the first word of the song a word related to the character would emerge. For the two examples below the words were “Ineffable” and “Tempting”.

Now this technique is called Acrostic,

Acrostic - a composition usually in verse in which sets of letters (such as the initial or final letters of the lines) taken in order form a word or phrase or a regular sequence of letters of the alphabet

it’s a technique mostly seen in poems to contain hidden words, often the authors name.

but I wouldn’t be bringing this back up if it wasn’t for nothing and that’s because we see this technique in the show as well.

When Jim is really embodying his role as Assistant Bookseller he takes it upon himself to reorganize the books by the first letter of the first word of the first sentence - sounds familiar.

Except he’s doing alphabetically not to contain a hidden word you say? 

Well hold on to that real quick while I point out another clue Jimbriel says,

“There will come a tempest, and darkness, and great storms. And the dead will leave their graves and walk the earth once more. And there will be great lamentations."

Well now that I brought that quote back to your attention we are just going to focus on one particular word, Lamentations.

because what if I told you that the first four poems in the Book of Lamentations are written in an acrostic style.

Not just any style either but where each poetic verse begins with a letter of the Hebrew Alphabet. 

Now the Book of Lamentations is separated into five poems from different pov’s about the destruction of Jerusalem in 587 B.C. by the Babylonians.

The organization and rigid structure to the first four poems was really meant to contrast from the grief and disorder the people were going through. Structure that the last poem loses. Hm Interesting.

(we are not going to be looking into what this book is about I am just pointing out structure similarities here)

Expect this not the only way this structure can be used.

Acrostic structure’s are also often used as a mnemonic device. This is a learning technique that helps with memory retrieval or retention by associating things with something easier to remember, like say trigger words.

So then is it really a surprise that Jim, our Amnesiac Archangel, keeps using this structure subconsciously?

[wufflesvetinari]

hi!! okay so i really loved that one fanfic you wrote (3:16) way back when, it's honestly one of my favorite fanfics ever but I have a question for you!! I've honestly adored your writing style and techniques and I was wondering: what is your writing process? Not just plot wise (although yes that!) but also prose-wise? because honestly, the first thing that drew me into your fic was how FUCKING good your prose was and I was just in absolute awe reading what you had written, and it sort of started me on a journey to improve my own prose and make it sound nice.

so uh yeah!! what is your writing process and if you have any advice for how you write so beautifully (Not just prose wise!! plot and character wise too haha) or just like. writing advice in general, i am ALL ears <3

oh this is so incredibly sweet, thank you!!!

i've tried to marshal some thoughts...tbh i am always envious of effective writing that is UNLIKE mine, so there are lots of ways to go about this. (and also i am just Some Guy.)

i'll focus on prose things i think about during writing/revision b/c otherwise we will be here all night...but imo some of this overlaps with effective pacing, character, etc.

Prose is character – some writing is “voicier” than other writing is, living closer in a character’s POV.  but in most cases, if you are in any way in a character’s head, your prose is part of their characterization. dick grayson will use different words and notice different details than damian will. being intentional about a character’s voice has the nice iterative effect of strengthening their characterization, which then makes your prose more confident as you understand their voice, and on and on it goes

Allow “workmanlike” phrases – sometimes cliché exists for a reason; you don’t actually need every sentence to be a poem. in fact, you NEED simple writing to string together your powerhouse lines without turning it all into purple prose/losing the reader/ruining the pacing.

Examine “workmanlike” phrases – that being said, another failure mode is RELYING on these phrases instead of digging for something more interesting now and then. i might write the phrase “a chill went down her spine” – ok this is fine, but I’ve read this sentence 15,000 times in my life and seeing it in my own document should be a trigger to slow down and decide if there’s a more specific or vivid description that conveys character or mood or theme better. or is just prettier lmao. i think to myself: how does it feel to be scared? what is a physical reaction that’s REAL that i have experienced, and am not just taking from a list in my head called “Descriptions Of Being Scared That Writers Use”?

The fucking thesaurus lmao – do not find/replace willy-nilly obviously BUT if the only word you can think of is Not Exactly The Right Word Dammit then the fucking thesaurus is a perfectly valid brainstorming tool to get closer to what you are trying to say. even if u don’t find the right word, it’s often a jumping-off point to a better way to approach the sentence

Note your “is”es – ok this is the annoying one. imo this really strengthened my writing but i hated it so so much. when revising, find any instance of “is/was/seems.” (ex: “He seems impatient, and there’s a pile of paperwork sitting in front of him.”) There’s nothing WRONG with that sentence, but it’s worth checking to see if it’s an opportunity for a more active one that gives more character detail (“He taps impatiently on a pile of paperwork.” there. done.)

Condense – ok look at that example again. i phrased things more actively but i ALSO condensed two concepts (He seems impatient + there is paperwork) into a sharper sentence that ALSO tells us a bit about how this character acts when stressed. imo you can accidentally find really interesting prose this way, in addition to improving pacing.

Vary sentence structure – that being said, sometimes the way to go is a beautiful run-on, so long as that sentence has intention packed into it! if you are writing long lovely flowing sentences, it’s going to hit hard if you drop the emotional reveal in a short, choppy, standalone one. or if your sentences shorten as the mood of the scene changes, or or or.

Use detail to let a scene breathe – personally, i never want to write the phrase “there was a pregnant pause” or “there was a brief silence” if i can help it. this is personal preference, but i think the principle stands: you can instead control your reader’s sense of timing, create an implied pause, by giving detail in the right place. the reverse is why it bothers me when a conversation is interspersed with paragraphs of introspection lmao: in my head i’m wondering why pov is taking so long to respond

Use repetition – oh my god this is my cheat code. if you are really proud of a beautiful, distinctive phrase you wrote? use it again!!! make it a callback at an important moment!!! make it thematic!! do it on purpose. trust me it’s cool

Get out of their head – ok here’s an experiment. take a concept (“Dick is scared”) and tell yourself that you have to express this, but you CAN’T describe anything about Dick himself in order to do it. you can use the way the crumbling buildings of gotham loom above him, or the weather, or the way people react to him—but you cannot say a word about his actions or thoughts or feelings. chances are, you’ve now created some interesting prose getting at the concept abstractly. cool! use that, and also go and add the direct feelings back in if it makes sense to do so

"Unconscious" writing - uhh ok this one is weird, but sometimes for a VERY early draft—like, when I am staring down the blank page—I will stop…trying to write a story? I will instead begin to write, uh…poetry about what is happening in the story? Just, impressions, details, stream-of-consciousness…this will all have to be cleaned up and made linear later. but for now, go nuts. and usually it gives me a) some workable, pretty prose and b) an entry point into what i am trying to say so i can go back and write the “real version”

Dissect!! Good!!! Writing!!! - i'm sorry, this one is so boring. but if there's a writer who really WORKS for you, read very slowly and break down what's so effective about it on a prose level. i do this with ursula le guin. also, do this with poetry!!! which poems slam you to the ground and take your lunch money? how?

i know you also asked abt plot and character but i've already written so much lmao plz forgive me. i am not a big craft book person but i did enjoy refuse to be done and a swim in a pond in the rain. i also try to collect tips i find in this tag!

[dvilsdesire-a]

Some in depth character analysis... (:

This is going to get long... as I do a bit of a character analysis on Haarlep with little bits of Raphael as well. I will likely go on tangents if they come to me, so please be aware that there is likely no solid structure as I ramble!

Please note that this is ALL speculation and headcanon as there is no way of analysing a character's full potential when you only see a few moments of them in game, let alone Haarlep's relationship with Raphael when you don't even get to see them interact outside of Haarlep's small comments and end-game letter.

Know that there is also no right and no wrong, and I will be exploring both sides and "what if" scenarios. These are just some things I want to expand upon, and we are all entitled to different opinions and headcanons. That's the beauty of getting to explore and delve into characters that are given no depth to them--you can make them your own!

First and foremost, it should be noted that DnD lore on incubus has flip flopped over the editions. Where they were once strictly demons, they were then turned to devils, and now they are recognised as simply "fiends". Haarlep, in game, is a fiend, and his race is incubus. Again... be your OWN DM... do what makes you happy, that's the beauty of DnD (but also remember that Larian itself have their own set of rules and lore that they made up which may have separated them from DnD lore as well, and that's not a bad thing! The more creativity, the better imo, especially in a world like FR).

I personally write Haarlep as a devil aligned fiend who is neutral evil (as incubus are neutral evil in lore), but that's just me! Toss in a little demon bloodline, especially with the Queen of Succubus, and play around a little! I could also see him being chaotic leaning in some areas, considering succubus and being demons (or once demons in previous editions).

Okay, let's get into Haarlep! (potentially triggering content)

I'm going to go through this in order of Haarlep's scene. There was a really neat theory that was shared HERE about how Haarlep starts off with a poem as they are introduced. Is this something that the devs simply used as trickery so we THINK it's Raphael in the bed (even though it clearly says Haarlep)?

Also note how Haarlep uses the term "Mouse", the one that Raphael has been calling the player the whole time. A coincidence? Or is this proof that Haarlep is aware of what is going on with Raphael and his potential client? Is this rhyming corruption simply from being within the HoH or something that Haarlep has picked up from via time spent with Raphael? All of these things fascinate me, because as a devil, and Raphael who is quite literally meant to symbolise the real world devil (there is a lot of symbolism with Raphael and Satan/Lucifer imo but that's not something I'll delve into here), or are they just trying to lead us into a false sense of security that this is just Raphael playing his games (despite the name on the subtitles)?

Maybe it's an outer moment of we know as the player, but our actual PC doesn't know. Which gives us the opportunity to play around a little with them, which is also cool. But the idea that Haarlep also says a little poem and speaks in such a devilish manner, is a nice little touch and a reminder OF Raphael as well.

Then, of course, the player themselves, identifies Haarlep as Raphael, despite the youthful look (I'll delve into this later).

What interests me is Haarlep's response if you actually say this. He seems amused that you'd even THINK he's Raphael, despite his obvious visage. The pride of an incubus, perhaps? Haarlep simply toying with you and making this encounter last longer by the way he speaks so slowly and playfully? Luring you in, one question and curiosity at a time.

Haarlep genuinely seems interested in WHY you are there, yet if we go from line one where they're calling you a thief... it pretty much indicates that he knows you're there when you're not supposed to be (which makes entire sense since the whole HoH has its own riddles and games you need to play to get inside rooms under lock and key). Even to get into the boudoir, you require an invitation (though Raphael clearly forgot that he left his door to the balcony wide open and there's rock formation you can traverse lol--things like this are PURELY game mechanics, and I don't think they should be read into deeply. It's a game, your player NEEDS access, whether it's getting it the hard way, the lawful way, or outright breaking in lol).

If you lie to Haarlep and claim it's a botched teleportation spell, he instantly sees through you, you don't even get the chance for a saving check on this. No matter what, Haarlep knows you're not supposed to be there. However, he wants to know WHY you're there.

Interestingly enough, Haarlep's voice is very aggressive when you lie to him, especially when the first introduction is all sweet and breathy. This comes down to control, imo (which we also learn that Haarlep is the dominant role in the bedroom, or at least a top--more on that as I go). Genuinely, though, it feels like Haarlep is very displeased if someone lies to his face, though being the incubus they are, will also give you a chance to respond truthfully before he decides your fate--this is something I also see Raphael do. Even if you attack him in your first meeting, he gives you a second chance (and a third if I recall? He only tells you the deal is off if you attack him in Sharess' Caress and kicks you out of the Devil's Den--tho correct me if I'm wrong as I'm focusing on Haarlep here).

So is this typical devil behaviour and something we can expect from devils, to give you a second chance so they can get the information they want? I'd say yes. Especially if they DO want to know. Haarlep is more than happy to kill you if you don't give him what he wants, so it seems pretty standard for devil practice, and of course, he returns to being softly spoken again, almost immediately, like it's second nature. Or is this something he has simply learned from being around Raphael for so long?

If Raphael does give you a third chance, guess what? So does Haarlep. You can lie to him (though exposed instantly), and then outright tell him you refuse to tell him why you're there, and he gives you the final chance:

Obviously, fantastic that the player can really choose what they want to do, but there's also been far quicker battles in game. Haarlep really is trying to get that information from you (and your soul no doubt). If we wanted to delve deeper (I did say what ifs!), we could also question if this is just Haarlep being playful or lazy. Does he really care to go to the effort to kill, or would he rather just get some useful information? Is he threatening the player so he can just be done with his game, have sex with the player and let them leave so he can just add their glamour to the collection? Who knows! It's all under speculation.

Haarlep's health in battle, if you choose to fight him, is also 169, whereas DnD monster manual has them at 66HP. Haarlep is a stronger incubus, and at 169HP, it's much greater! Again, is this scaled up just due to game mechanics? Or something else? Makes sense by the time you delve into the HoH, a HP of 66 isn't that challenging anymore. I did do a little hc post about my thoughts HERE. Funnily enough, there was also THIS about Haarlep being titled as a courtesan.

Moving on to if you tell Haarlep the truth about why you're there. I find his response here to be very interesting, especially in the way he seems to drop the sensuality for a moment. The thoughtfulness and pause to Haarlep as he likely recognises who you are now.

The facial expression changes also, to something more concerned looking. Of course, this could all be a facade, especially as we know that Haarlep absolutely gives you the Hammer if you're willing to sleep with them.

Not the usual plucky, jovial Haarlep that is being seen, but a moment of thoughtfulness as the creature no doubt ponders what the next move could be. Perhaps Haarlep is even contemplating what Raphael would do if things were out of his control? If Tav was killed.

I often DO wonder how Raphael would react if the game ended where Haarlep killed the PC. Would he be furious that his means to get the crown is entirely fucked now? Would he just go that's frustrating but I'll get it another way? Haarlep, no doubt, would be in a lot of trouble, but it seems that either Haarlep doesn't actually care (because he knows Raphael can't really resist him anyway), or he might just get the crown another way.

Whatever the case, Haarlep does seem to entirely underestimate the powers of Tav an Co, because he attacks them if you don't comply, and I doubt he thought even if they DID get the Hammer, they weren't going to get through Raphael (Haarlep likely is playing his own game, in where yes, sure you can take the Hammer now that I have gotten what I wanted, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to leave). Once the Hammer is taken, the entire HoH becomes hostile, meaning Haarlep LIKELY knew this, and didn't think you were going to actually kill his master.

IS he outright betraying Raphael, or is he just... shortsighted? All of this is entirely up to speculation of course, but Haarlep would 110% be aware of the fact that Raphael is the son of Mephistopheles, and there is no denying that Raphael is the HARDEST boss battle of the entire game, even if you CAN power shot him with your super builds. There is no denying that Raphael's boss battle is difficult, and he would be considered one of the most powerful fights in the entire game (which is so insane to think about since you can SKIP the entire thing or just outright MISS it). So why WOULDN'T Haarlep think that Tav and co would get fucked by him in a fight, when Haarlep has likely witnessed Raphael's wrath and fury before? When we speak of this betrayal from Haarlep, there's no telling that his actual intentions were.

So... was Haarlep being a typical devil/fiend, scheming and getting what he wanted just to win both ways by believing Raphael would have bested Tav and friends (even if it didn't turn out that way in the end)? Or was he betraying Raphael because he just didn't care? OR, a third option, was he making sure Raphael wouldn't get the crown because his true master is Mephistopheles? By stealing the Hammer, there was no deal that Raphael would GET the crown in turn. There's so many things we could assume and guess, but the fact is... we don't know, because Larian never told us, and that's okay! Because that's what fanfiction is for.

As we move the scene along, Haarlep finally introduces himself. We all know that Haarlep is an anagram for Raphael, which in itself is fascinating. Where did Haarlep get the name? WHO named him? Is Raphael so in love with himself that he named his personal incubus after himself? Was it Mephistopheles? As some kind of joke? Was it Haarlep themselves? What does interest me is is how Haarlep explained that he's not just glamoured as Raphael's image, but he's transfigured. I feel like this makes it something more permanent, or even as a base setting.

I love the idea of True Form Haarlep, personally (and it is my general go to with my writing), but I DID say what if's above, and this is one of them. What if Haarlep HAS no true form? What if his form is now FIXED as Raphael as a base form (we know he can still take on other forms since yours and Haarlep says out loud he has a collection), but what IF? What IF? Because another little bit of DnD lore? Incubus are supposed to change back to their natural form when killed, and guess who doesn't? Haarlep! He remains in Raphael's glamour if you kill him (: So... THAT'S interesting. We just don't know...

I wanted to delve into this line next, because someone pointed out something interesting which I actually wanted to delve into deeper with it:

You might be going "no you're not, you don't look like Raphael as he does now". Well, you are correct. However, I do have a theory behind this as well. As we know in canon lore, cambions generally stop ageing in their 20's. Funnily enough... Haarlep looks around that age, which is where I personally headcanon that they first met and first slept together, when Haarlep was gifted to Raphael. That's not to say Haarlep can't change to Raphael's current, more mature, visage (or even his human form). But when Haarlep says he's the PERFECT copy, I do feel like there's some burn to that, that Raphael is reminded that HE has aged and is no longer that perfect resemblance of what he once was.

There's also a fannon theory going around that Raphael's more mature look is actually a farce, and that he uses it to appear more mature to get souls, etc. That's a really interesting take, and I love it (how manipulative of him and that works!), but my personal headcanons? Raphael is no mere cambion. Raphael is the son of Mephistopheles, and we know nothing about his mother (as mother's die at childbirth). She could have been anyone! Mephistopheles is an Archdevil, and Mephisto also looks more middle aged in most of his pics. It makes sense to me that Raphael would age more compared to other cambions simply because of his more potent bloodline and the fact that he is the son of someone so powerful. This could be a symbol of something amongst devilkind even. We know that Antilia (Raphael's half sister and Mephisto's daughter), though pretty no doubt, is described to look a lot like Mephisto.

So, my theory is that Haarlep is the appearance of Raphael when they FIRST had sex, and when he first consumed Raphael's glamour, and he wears it proudly, and no doubt Raphael keeps Haarlep around like that as a reminder of how youthful and beautiful he was. I'm not saying Raphael isn't a silver fox (he is), and Raphael still considers himself attractive, but it's like looking at your younger self when you've lost some of that edge, and you wish you could be there again. It's almost torment, which... just fits with devils, especially Raphael being such a complex character and a narcissist.

Some people have pointed out that there are some different structures within Haarlep and Raphael's face. Yes, there are. These are actually the things that change with age. The most obvious to me, is the ears. Raphael's are larger. This is legitimately something that happens with age. So is the structure and plumpness of cheeks (as someone who works in healthcare, these are things I see every day with patients). Even myself if I look at a pic of me 10 years ago.

(If I could mod, I would get the same screencap to compare, but for now...)

All things that come with age are (within humans):

Larger ears, wrinkles, less fat around the face and skin that becomes less plump and taut, (particularly cheeks, chin and eyes), and the thinning of lips and complexion paling. These are all exactly what Raphael has in comparison to Haarlep.

A little note on Raph's nose is that the distortion COULD be caused by changes in cartilage over the years, OR... it could be someone punched Raph in the face and it permanently got fucked after he'd been with Haarlep (whatever the case, it's still beautiful!). I still like to think someone punched him tho >.> lol.

You're looking at at least... 20 odd years between these two, tho. Raphael is said to look middle aged (in his 50's), and Haarlep, to me, looks about... 25-28 with those small wrinkles at his forehead and crows feet when he smiles?

I can't say the technical details of who designed this in game? But they did a phenomenal job on what they actually aged (or deaged for Haarlep's encounter). I have no idea if they simply used that technology on Raph's original form or what they did for Haarlep, but it's damn good.

I implore you, take out a photo of you what looked like 20 years ago (if you're old enough) and I can guarantee you'll see some of these changes. Maybe do it of your parents, or grandparents, and you'll see. My older brother looks like a carbon fucking copy of my dad when they were both in their 20's. Genetics are FASCINATING and awesome! And I think they did a super good job with making Haarlep and Raphael's age gap noticeable while changing those important features.

I won't go into Raphael's sexuality in this post because it'll add too much to it, but I DO want to in the future. But moving on to Haarlep once you agree to sleep with them. What does interest me is that Haarlep wants to make sure that you're comfortable during the act, which is when the Archduchess comes to play.

Now... this one makes me question a little (and please fill me in as I don't know all DnD lore!). I do understand that incubus/succubus can be seen as interchangeable, and from what I have read in earlier editions, they can shapechange much like changelings (succubi can appear as your most desired appearance, without any 'glamour'). They can simply use ANY model, any face, WITHOUT consuming someone's body. Unlike Haarlep, who seems to require permission/vow to take on a desired form.

Haarlep speaks about how they're adding your glamour to their collection and that's basically what they are getting out of this little transaction of yours. This is provided with the following prompts:

This gives the impression that Haarlep requires you to actually verbally VOW that he can have your body... that he can add it to his glamour...

Is that the case, or is Haarlep simply using you and playing games because they WANT to hear you say it? Is this devilry at its finest? Or does an incubus literally require permission to gain that glamour? Like the victim is literally giving up a part of themselves in some wicked contract?

So, please... let me know how it works with Raphael's Archduchess form, OR was this simply something Larian threw in there so the player could feel more comfortable with a choice of female or male? I would love to delve more into this, because I REALLY am curious about how the hell Haarlep got a female version of Raphael, or was this something the devs just thought "We'll give them an option".

Personally, I just feel like without that knowledge, I can't see it outside of a "let's just chuck that in there so they have another option and say Raph is curious at times". But please, please let me know if you do! Some devils of Baator CAN change sex on a whim, but by disrupting the order of the Hells, they are actually punished if they do it, even tho it's entirely allowed and absolutely a-okay to do! The laws of Baator are just very stringent. Being a creature of sex, maybe it's different for incubus and succubus? Either way, I find it strange that Haarlep requires permission compared to other previous editions, but then the Archduchess exists. Maybe he's under his own contract? Maybe he's special? Maybe it's just a LepLep thing!?

Also just a note here, you can call Haarlep he, she, or they. The Narrator, in game characters, all use he when Haarlep is male, she when Haarlep is the Archduchess, and they during some of the Narrator's comments.

Speaking of glamours, though, it has been deciphered what Haarlep's harness says in Infernal, and it says "1000 lover's in 1 body" (link to reddit).

Some people have theorised that this is part of the secret contract that Haarlep was under. Personally... I think it's for nothing but Haarlep to gloat about in the Hells. I think it's entirely an aesthetic and prideful thing and nothing more. We know the devs have scribbled infernal on contracts and it literally says nothing (looking at Raphael's lol), it's all weird junk and silly things, so it's no surprise that they've written something like this on the harness Haarlep wears. Some little inside joke, but also a boast for Haarlep.

Raphael clearly likes to see himself wearing skimpy clothes, so maybe it's even to please Raphael. Maybe it's Raphael knowing that Haarlep has slept with that many others while wearing his face? Who knows. But personally, I really don't think there is anything significant when it comes to this, it's just a good little bit of humour added into the game.

During the sex scene, you will notice that Haarlep's eyes begin to glow throughout the rest of the encounter. I also find this fascinating, and I think it likely comes down to arousal or the power of the act, which when taking the glamour, would be a form of magic or corruption.

Pre sex:

During / post sex:

They are significantly brighter, and remain that way throughout the rest of the encounter. So, could it be the use of charm? Could it be arousal? Could it be the corruption and taking your body? Either way, it's something that I found interesting and I wanted to put here also.

Once the act is done, we get back down to business. This is where you can ask if Raphael is any good in bed. Of course, this is a whoooole debate amongst the fandom, and honestly, I don't think it needs to be taken so seriously. You've got to remember, Haarlep is an incubus, someone that is forged from lust and sex, and has likely slept with waaaaay more people than Raphael (especially if we take it literally when Haarlep says Raphael only wants to sleep with himself). That's a whole different topic, though, and this is Haarlep not even elaborating, just laughing and saying "no". But you're never going to get as good in the sack as an incubus, that likely knows all the trades. This isn't just a skill, it's INSTINCT for someone like Haarlep. Even if Raphael WAS bad in bed, though... what's the big deal? Who cares? I actually think it's something that makes Raphael more realistic, because he has a flaw and someone else is better at something than him. Good, make him feel vulnerable, let him be reminded, and perhaps that is also why Haarlep is kept around, so Raphael can imagine the incubus' prowess as his OWN whilst he wears his face.

Back to where Haarlep could be seen as potentially betraying Raphael by pointing you into the direction of the Orphic Hammer. Once again, like mentioned above yonder (this is getting long), there's no telling where this is coming from. Is this a betrayal? Is this Haarlep being short sighted and not really thinking Tav and Co could kill Raphael once he came back, knowing that the HoH was rigged to attack the moment the Orphic Hammer was taken? Interesting how Haarlep disappears amidst the chaos as well.

There's no saying what Haarlep was thinking, it's all speculation and guessing games, which fits perfectly with a fiend, tbh. He's a scheming little shit, just like everyone else in the Nine Hells. Makes perfect sense to me that we don't know his true intentions. Plus, it's literally a 10 minute interaction. You can't possibly understand someone with a 10 minute interaction, you can only guess and assume.

What I do find a little funny is the following:

So we have Haarlep saying that Raphael hides NOTHING from him, and can't (likely because Haarlep wears his face and potentially uses charm on him to get what he wants, and because he's an incubus--these creatures that are behind every high devil or demon, manipulating from the shadows), but also...

Haarlep gives you the key. To. The. Safe. The safe that he doesn't know what sits inside it... (bullshit).

He literally pulls it out of his arse and just hands it to you. Flat out. So how did Haarlep get the key? Why does HE have access to it? But doesn't know what's inside the safe? Definitely bullshit. He knows what's inside it, and Raphael, who has every door locked and invitations required and a ritual to get inside his house etc... just... hands his safe key to Haarlep? Or doesn't realise Haarlep has stolen it and keeps a copy?

Either way, this line about Raphael telling him everything indicates that Haarlep and Raphael talk to each other. Which, of course they do. They have been sharing a bed for who knows how long?

The reason why I have come to it being over a thousand years of being with each other goes back to Haarlep having Raphael's much younger glamour. Raphael is 2000+ years old, as we know thanks to his comment about Karsus' Folly and how he was there to see it.

Haarlep likely came after, after he raged about the Crown, and when Mephistopheles realised that his son was ambitious and wanted power. 1000+ years is a long time to share your bed with someone and not grow some sense of comfort within that company. Even without realising it or admitting it (or even being in denial), Raphael is still a half human and half devil, those weaker natures, those human natures, he no doubt falls to every now and again, no matter how much he detests and attempts to refuse it. Company is company, and if anything, this is the sort of company that feels like it's there for complacency and self gain (not realising the self loss in the process).

I am not saying Haarlep and Raphael love each other. In fact, whatever they share is likely nothing but a mutual benefit from one another somehow (and of course, Haarlep being contracted there). But love is an extremely complex notion, and it's not that simple. I don't think it's yes, and I don't think it's no. I think it's an exceptionally GREY area that has become complacency, comfort, possessiveness, and selfishness. As for Haarlep? Who is a full fiend, tho an incubus of all fiends (master of lust, sensuality, intimacy...), I think Raphael has a greater chance of falling in love than Haarlep does. And that's saying something.

We know for a fact that Haarlep was sent via Mephistopheles, but there's some conflicting dialogue that can feel like Haarlep is "sworn to" Raphael but he's a gift, so who does he really serve?

Whatever the case, I still think that Haarlep is absolutely capable of manipulating Raphael in ways that others can't. Also, if Raphael didn't really care to have Haarlep around, he could just get another incubus to have his glamour and be done with it. Haarlep can change his face to be Raphael, yes, but he can't change his personality that easily. If Raphael really hated Haarlep, he'd just go "be gone" and throw him out the window.

Obviously, as a GIFT from his father... that might hold a little bit of sentimentality to it, especially for someone like Raphael, who is obsessive and possessive of his possessions. Haarlep would be seen as his, and only his. Of course, it would likely be seen as some sort of an insult to Mephisto if he did this as well, because he WAS a gift to his son, so of course he can't be denied. That would make pappa angry.

Then there's the indication that Haarlep is unhappy and hates Raphael as much as any other devil in Baator. Haarlep is jovial in nature, he makes fun of people, including Raphael, his supposed master. I really don't see his end letter as him hating Raphael.

As above with the quote, Haarlep states Raphael can hide nothing from him, and deny him nothing, which pretty much solidifies that Haarlep has him wrapped around his little finger. If anything, Haarlep is the one in control of whatever relationship that they share (whether that's just sexual or not). Raphael still has power, of course, but it's this dynamic that shifts up and down between them, until they are back to the very same place they always end up.

The letter that you see in the epilogue never states anything on Haarlep's feelings towards Raphael. They state what OTHER devils feel. What the letter says is:

The only indication that one might get from this is the term "timely end" when it comes to Raphael's death. I wouldn't say this is an indication of Haarlep detesting the man. Haarlep isn't known for his love, so why would he mourn to a stranger? Why would he care, really? He's a fiend. The death of Raphael meant he was no longer bound to any contract, so it's absolutely opportunistic for him! But opportunity doesn't mean hate.

The entire atmosphere of Haarlep's letter has a sense of superiority around it, which if course it does. It's Haarlep. He's a fancy little snob that thinks he has better taste when he's actually fucking gelugons on a daily basis... Have you seen those things?

I'm more interested in the contract that was binding him to secrecy. It's never explained more upon. Was Haarlep bound to secrecy to stay within the HoH? Was he bound to secrecy so no one knew him and Raphael had slept together and that Raphael had a personal incubus? Raphael has invitations for others to come into the boudoir, so I highly doubt Haarlep was some little secret shame of his. If anything, Raphael seems the sort to boast about getting to have sex with his handsome self. Not to mention multiple people in the HoH (Nebuldin and the Archivist) pretty much tell you to go see Haarlep and enjoy yourself? So yeah... Haarlep being a secret? DEFINITELY busted.

The only secrecy I can get from this would be the fact that it was a secret Haarlep was keeping from Raphael that he was a spy for Mephistopheles.

Which... let's talk about this spy as well. We don't know the terms and conditions of the contract between Haarlep and Mephisto, all Haarlep claims was that he was sent to "distract" Mephistopheles' naughty son.

Doesn't really mean spy. It CAN mean spy! Absolutely it could mean spy (and the devil's in the details). But if we think about what Haarlep was potentially sending back to Mephisto... why didn't Mephisto do anything? After all, Raphael can't hide anything from Haarlep or deny him anything, and that gives me the impression that Haarlep knows most of what is going on, and if he told Mephistopheles about all of that, I'm pretty sure Mephisto would have a shit fit over the fact that his son is after the crown that has been stolen from his vault.

This is a crown that Mephistopheles KNOWS pissed Raphael off when he took it and locked it away. Raphael tells us that he raged over it for years after it happened. So when the vault was broken into, I'm pretty sure Mephistopheles would have been onto Raphael about it immediately. If Raphael came up empty handed and literally didn't know a damn thing about it, maybe... MAYBE his father would be willing to go "fine, whatever," but this is a very paranoid Archdevil that has killed his own spawn before to better himself. Raphael is no different. He is expendable. He doesn't even live in Cania anymore (HoH is in Avernus), and as far as I can tell, he's keeping all those souls to himself so he can use them to turn into an ascended form (which makes me wonder if he got the idea from his father and Cazador).

So for being a spy... Haarlep is a pretty damn poor one, if you ask me. Haarlep comes off as more of a sloth than someone who is really interested in doing hard work. He wants pleasure and games, and he is content if he has that, but he's also a fiend, and Haarlep is still as selfish as any other devil.

If you kill Haarlep, you can also speak to his corpse, where he will give you the same information just in a different way. He will tell you where the key is, he will explain that Raphael was never on top during their bedroom games, and he will tell you he was sent to distract Raphael from Mephistopheles.

I am absolutely certain I could keep going with this, but I'm running out of juice, lol. Anyway, this is my little (big apparently) analysis of Haarlep's character, and why I write him the way I do.

There is no right and wrong when it comes to this, remember. We ALL have our unique headcanons and opinions on characters, and we see all but 10 minutes or so with Haarlep in a game that lasts over 100 hours of gameplay. There is always room for character growth and development. Just because you don't agree with someone's personal hc doesn't mean they're wrong or you're right.

I would love to delve further into some more headcanons, especially with Raph, his sexuality, and Haarlep and his relationship a little bit more, but for now, this his already gotten long enough, so some small dot points:

Hope says she has been in the boudoir against her own will (which makes me believe Haarlep and her have likely shared a bed--this is apparently triggered if you save Hope before doing anything else).

Haarlep is a top in the bedroom (as provided by his own words when you speak to his corpse)

Haarlep doesn't know of any weakness Raphael has in battle (this is indicated when you speak to his corpse and ask if Raphael has any weaknesses in battle, to which the corpse remains silent and the Narrator says "the corpse does not know"). A really neat hc post about that HERE.

Incubus eat hearts and meat (Haarlep, if you agree to let him devour your soul and body) stated that he will eat your heart.

If Haarlep devours your soul and takes your mind and soul, you do not die, you become a thrall of his to command, which will obey him and "my master" (which makes me think he speaks of Mephisto more than Raphael).

Haarlep can command imps (he summons them if you decide you want to battle)

If I think of more, I will add, I'm tired now, lol. If anything, can y'all appreciate how long this got? :'D

[suffarustuffaru]

Your brother is your god (a joshua juukulius poem)

You are who you cling to; god

is in the pristine refinement of the knight

where your only claim to family is crafting him, detail by painstaking detail, until he’s a proper heirloom

to make up for the fresh apples you cannot bite,

to make up for your stain on the face of your brother,

you are a forgettable person attached to an unforgettable name.

Did you think that because you were born into this that you’re deserving of that name?

The only existing god

is in the form of your finest accomplishment; elder brother

is the picture perfect knight,

a dog who serves well and does not bite

at the hand feeding him and carving him into an heirloom

fit to join every heirloom

that came before you. Him. Your hands shake as you cough up exertion blood and your name

back into your handkerchief, bite

down the longing for a god

who could make you so good that you have no need for a knight

always leaving you behind for lofty ideals. Your brother

is your hero, your brother

casts a light so stark that all you can do is cower in the darkness that is his heirloom,

his right to the path of a knight

that should have been yours, as your name

decreed, but you were born frail and so your brother picked up your burden for you. Your brother is your god

so this is why apples taste sweet when he picks them for you, but just as bitter when you bite

into the rottenness of being only his brother. You bite

into your brother

like that could make you a god:

Something worth saving, something sword-heirloom

sharp in its acceptable sort of way, a perfect portrait paired with that name

heavy on your shoulders like the armor of a knight.

And yet your brother is the greatest knight

because out of the two of you, who’s the one who saved the family from your bite

marks? You must never forget that as much as you made him, he’s the one carrying the crown of that name,

the one who saved you from being the sad, useless heir, so instead you are the sad, useless second brother

who is only there to stay behind to prop up the true heirloom

because there is no god

without you, and thus your knight is your apple is your brother

is your bite scar is your bed grave is your heirloom

and when the pearly floodgates make way—if you have no name, what is a dog to a god?

—

welp, hello!! wrote this for @deafknell ‘s rezero season 3 part 1 fanweek for the day 1 prompt: Memories / Rivalry / “—Shut up and put on your war face.” (this poem also couldve fit for the Names prompt later in the week but shhh.) joshua is a character ive really come to love especially the more i found out about his story and especially with having people like deafknell as beloved mutuals who enjoy him a lot and portray him beautifully!! so i hope ive done him justice his story hurts my heart 🙏🙏

also if youre curious—this is probably so juukulius coded of me to say this wjdnd—but this poem is a sestina poem which has a really unique structure of repeating six words (though i did repeat a few others but yes i stuck closely to the sestina structure) in certain places!! here i used god, knight, heirloom, bite, brother, and name!! really recommend googling about sestina poems if youre curious!! ive really grown to be fond of poetry as well. <3

[berk-brain-rot]

Brain worm of the day:

The way Berk uses difference in punctuation specifically between poems as a whole.

So in a previous post I did an incredibly overly detailed babble of words into how Berk uses capitalization for individual words that provide not just emphasis, but sometimes change their entire meaning from that of a verb to a proper noun/entity.

This isn't the only way they use capitalization though. Berk's poems in Lazarus Rises seem to follow a couple different levels of grammatical rule breaking basically. Some of their poems follow basic grammar sentence structure:

What I mean by that is that capitalization occurs in the same way it would for normal sentences, with the first letter of a sentence and all I's being capitalized, as well as with periods concluding each sentences.

Sometimes they follow a form of normal sentence structure:

Their I's are still capitalized and they still use periods, but the beginning of sentences aren't capitalized. Not only that but the sentences themselves don't follow a normal sentence structure in the form of subject-verb-object, they seem to begin and end wherever emphasis or a spoken pause would be needed.

Sometimes though they completely throw the rules out the window:

In the case of this poem they don't capitalize a single letter or use a single period until the very end of their poem:

Now here's the thing, this could all be Berk just messing around with style (they're entitled to playing around with it but honestly a lot of the ways Berk writes seems entirely too well thought out and specifically chosen for that to make sense to me). This could be Berk just deciding the shift key was too heavy that day (which I would argue is in itself a choice that would carry through to your poems). This could have no greater meaning to it (press x to doubt).

But regardless of whether this was all intentional (and I very much would argue it is, at least subconsciously) the fact that Berk writes in this way provides more layers to gain from their poems.

In the case of their poem X. periods hold a significance whenever they choose to use them. They provide emphasis that might not have otherwise been given, they provide a dictation for how their poems might be read aloud, they provide another layer of meaning.

The same can be said for their lack of capitalization.

"One day, I will move on from my grief." is incredibly different from "one day, I will move on from my grief." The first case could be seen on a hallmark card honestly. It's not wrong, but I kind of immediately want to throw it away in annoyance at feeling misunderstood.

But in the second case?? You can literally feel the exhaustion.

This second line means something to me. This second line comes from someone who actually gets what it's like to grieve, who gets that to put it into polite terms, is really fucking hard.

When they throw away all grammar rules though???

Their poem XIII does this :

Tell me you didn't get to the end of that poem, and get knocked out of your chair. Look me in the eyes, and lie to me, because of course you're on the ground.

"You are not alone." hits you like a sledgehammer. Nothing else in that poem follows normal grammar. There is not a single other period or capitalized letter. So when you read that statement you can almost feel Berk trying to lovingly slam you with the idea of friendship and caring and sharing in pain together so that we are never alone again.

TLDR; Berk uses all available tools they have in the written form to knock you upside the head (/pos) with an emotion. Sometimes this is the words they choose to use, sometimes this is the way they fit those words together, and sometimes they make sentence structure their bitch in a way that I'm honestly in awe of.

As always, the source is always more interesting than anything I have to say, so if you haven't yet, go read Lazarus Rises(amongst other things) and follow them on their Tumblr @icaruspendragon because they write so many cool things beyond just their published book.

[dokk-fukuro]

Your Relationship [Edgar Allan Poe]

۞₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪۞    

A/N: f!reader, mention of female genitals, smut

Rq from @akuma-igea

۞₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪۞

Edgar as your friend:

• The beginning of your friendship was sudden. You put in place a woman who criticized the book for a large amount of text, saying that, unlike many modern writers, the author, whom the woman found fault with, describes in detail the structure of their world and why one cannot exist without the other. It was then that Poe noticed you, although he wanted to go as far as possible due to his dislike of the crowd;

• You can talk for hours about books, music and art, noticing something new and amusing. Frequently share the books you have on your bookshelves;

• He finds it very difficult sometimes to keep up a conversation with you when you light up with ideas, because he thinks that you are quite noisy at such moments;

• Sometimes he shares with you sketches of his detective stories;

• Once it happened that you were drawn into his unfinished manuscript. Luckily, he left clues for you so you can get out. Poe was very embarrassed after that incident;

Edgar as your boyfriend:

• Five stages of accepting the inevitable. This is about Edgar from any angle. It was very difficult for him to accept the fact that he could fall in love with someone, as well as it was difficult to accept the fact that feelings could be mutual;

• Your conversations are awkward while Poe keeps his feelings to himself. He watches you from afar, notices all the subtleties and nuances, writes down everything that you like and dislike. Ordinary heart-to-heart talk is not his profile;

• Edgar is even willing to ask Ranpo for help to lay all the facts about you on the table. Poor boy. Just think about what he is ready to go for in order to be the ideal person for you;

• Writes a lot of love letters, sometimes whole poems just for you. Just a lot. But not a single one ever fell into your hands, although... It seems that Karl has already stolen one envelope;

• Edgar is very ashamed, because it was the very poem in which he wrote that he wanted to cover you with kisses from head to toe, because you are beautiful in his eyes;

Poe burns with shame when you get so close to him. Karl, who handed you an envelope with a poem on three album pages, was proud of himself as never before, so he leaves you with a proud walk so as not to see how you, removing the bangs from Poe's face, kiss him on the lips. The young man is ready to swear that his heart is about to stop.

But he is overwhelmed with happiness when you accept him for who he is, even in spite of excessive stiffness. When you saddle his hips, he feels like a defeated fallen one, over whom the goddess towers. However, you yourself know this, ‘cause Poe is unable to restrain the flow of thoughts that are torn by moans and whining from his lips. It’s still scary to touch you, so you yourself direct his hands to your naked body.

His trembling hands rest on your shoulders, hidden by the sleeves-lanterns of a summer sundress, lower them down. Poe is in a panic. He can beautifully put into words how graceful and beautiful you are in his eyes, how he would like to touch your back and shoulders with his palms, but when it comes to action, Edgar is ready to pass out.

"It's so soft, god," Edgar drawls, squeezing your chest in his palm as you keep moving on his cock.

• A young man loves it when you read a book to him that you liked recently;

• Prior to his unplanned confession, he often wrote novels where he, as a brave warrior of the Order of Light Paladins, protects you, a light dryad, with whom he was secretly in love;

• Ranpo, by the way, read those drafts. Laughed like a child

• Karl loves to sleep on your lap, which was a big deal even before Poe’s confession. Your knees are favorite place to rest for the racoon;

[tarotphil]

Bestie I need to know what answers corresponded to Dan or Phil

oh my gosh I’d love to share :)) take the quiz before reading below the cut!!!!! also take this as the performance art it is, I’m not genuinely assuming very specific things about dan and phil’s internal worlds lol

for Dan: love like a dog as in loyal, eager to provide a service, full blown adoration. love like a leaky faucet as in always present even when the sink is “off”. but also as in sporadic, unexpected, unavailable. (this is not a dig at dan, that is the option I would choose)

for Phil: love like an archaeologist as in dedicated to craft of discovery, careful, curious. love like a snowstorm as in all encompassing, obscuring, hungry

for Dan: Catholic guilt yeah, but also thinking on the past in a “I wish I had done it different way”

for Phil: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. among other things his commitment to nostalgia is a type of grief.

for Dan: peeling fruit as an act of service has big dan energy. he would pass tiktok clementine theory. cannabalism bc i think he’d enjoy himself on yellowjackets Hannibal hunger as love tumblr. angels is his for a lot of reasons. I was thinking about angels as machinery, which meshes with his clean brutalism aesthetic. also angels as fallen from grace, as a subversive queer symbol

for Phil: time loops, we are back to the grief and nostalgia. but I’m also appealing to his brand of creativity here. glitch theory, fantasticalism. ghosts….. we are back to grief, but also his understanding of horror. the ocean is something I associate with phil a lot for some reason. I think it’s the mystery of it

for Dan: he’s a teddy bear, he’s so soft. he has his childhood teddy still. glowing globes for mystery, matches the aesthetic of the moon room. kiss me lollipop…… must I say more

for Phil: I was so captivated by him going “I think that’s what god looks like” in relation to the golf with friends structure. so, for phil, interesting lines and lights that evoke a feeling of reverence <3 icy stag bc I associate him with snow and the fantastical. surreal spotlight sky… I can’t explain it just is

for Dan: A Boat is a poem to me about navigating depression, I think dan would love it. Dan is SO this too shall devastate coded, I don’t think I need to explain.

for Phil: the Kyla Jamieson poem for a few reasons. Love of the natural world, but also I think it carries a sense of creative frustration? The Athena Davis poem because of how gentle it is. meditations on death, meditations on kindness

Dan and Phil: this is the only option on the quiz that gives points to both outcomes…. I want to do with you what spring does with cherry trees. That’s so them

I actually think these kinda speak for themselves

for Dan: he’s such a sensitive soul, which is why he got the heart hurt option. he puts so much of his heart into everything, so this is an acknowledgment of him not being as cerebral as he thinks. for the bones, an ache in my bones is one of the ways I visualize my depression. a bone deep heaviness

for Phil: hurt in your hands because of hands as a symbol for creativity. to me this meant an itch to create. hurt in your lungs I can really only justify by vibes. the hurt of running too hard maybe? Of a body meant to house you doing a bad job of it?

for Dan: mmm realizing I said I associate phil with the ocean which is true, but I associate Dan with whale falls. that’s all I got for that lol. for the microbiome, I love love love the human microbiome, it’s fascinating. I think dan would have a heck of a time with the idea that we’re mostly made up of non self organisms

for Phil: beauty in the small things and beauty in natural system we’re not at all a part of. nod to his love of birds, love you Steve

these are mostly all vibes, except for Phil’s sense of otherworldliness and Dan’s commitment to forward growth

for Dan: the wooden overcoats quote…… sorry not get 2009 on you. The Beatrice letters quote is a little bit ���it’s awful work” “not to me, not if it’s you”. as a doctor loves his sickest patient for real

for Phil: the Mabel quote is a little bit about love as a creative I think, and a private creative at that. The love exists even if you destroy the art. the locked tomb quote, they are so dependent. he dyed his shoes green

[bettsfic]

18 and 19

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

passage below the cut! this is from Skinless when Layla and Henry meet. by this point we've mostly been in Henry's POV, where his coworker Layla seems like a nice young woman with whom he is foaming-at-the-mouth obsessed. we get to her POV (second person because that's just how she thinks, and also this is a flashback because her pacing and story structure is entirely separate from Henry's because i hate myself i guess) and find out she's been totally deranged for Henry from the beginning. this is the first time we see Henry from outside his POV.

backstory:

the career fair scene went through many iterations but has become an unfortunate foundational turning point of the story, despite the fact that a commercial underwriting department of a bank would never be at a college career fair

i did once research every question of every exam for a class where i thought the professor was being cruel. i also went to the dean about it, and there was an investigation, and every single student in the class went from a C to a B. (that's how bad it was: we all had the same grade, based on basically nothing, which was deeply ironic considering it was a statistics class)

like Layla, i've also had the Kids in the Hall theme song stuck in my head for most of my life

ultimately Skinless is a light-hearted rom com about two walking red flags who are trying to make their relationship work even though one of them is not who he says he is and the other is plotting a murder

the ethics test at the bank was really only 10 questions

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

the first thing i ever wrote was a series of stories in my diary when i was 8 or 9, and they all had the same premise in different settings: a child lives in a community but everyone hates him (they were always boy povs) and eventually the child runs away or is killed by the townspeople and everyone is much happier with him gone. the end.

a wrote a bit more here and there until i was 14 or so, at which point i seemed to forget writing fiction was even a thing. i kept a journal from 14 onward and that was the only creative writing i did besides the occasional poem until i was 24 and started writing fanfic.

i'm now 34 and i have an MFA in creative writing and half a PhD, and i've had some short publications and won some awards and i do artist residencies sometimes and have an agent. i'm hoping to put two manuscripts out on submission later this year or early next.

one of which will be Skinless, an excerpt of which is below the cut.

from Chapter 5:

In your final semester of college, you attend a career fair. As you wander the booths, you begin to consider that there might be industries more suited to people like you. You spot a bank. The man standing at the booth is talking to someone. You notice immediately that his congeniality is feigned, proven when the applicant walks away and his face returns to apathy. 

He is wearing a sharp black suit. Black dress shirt. Black tie. He is in his late twenties, perhaps. He has light brown skin and his hair is buzzed close to his scalp in a way that makes you eager to touch his head, feel it against your palm. He is tall and broad-shouldered, but he holds himself like he isn’t, slightly slouched, the way people stand in public transit to give others more room.

Something about him piques your curiosity, and as you walk toward him the small spark of your initial question mark grows into something that consumes you. You can’t even tell what exactly is drawing you to him. It’s not his beauty—although, aesthetically speaking, he is quite pleasing. It’s not his attire, though it’s strange to see a businessman in all black. It’s not the bored blankness of his face that reflects how you have felt these past four years pretending to be a peppy sorority girl. But it’s something, and suddenly you’re standing in front of him and handing him your resume.

He takes it and scans it. This is a bizarre interaction, this not speaking and not acknowledging each other thing, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Without even looking at you, he says, “Tell me about a time someone blamed you for something that wasn’t your fault, and what you did about it.” 

His voice doesn’t match him at all, this enormous man with this soft yet vaguely robotic voice. When you say nothing, he glances at you expectantly. You feel small and young. He doesn’t even see you. You are just one student among the many he will speak with today. 

“Last semester I had a professor who didn’t like me so he tried to give me a B,” you tell him. “I guess because I kept finding errors in our exams and proving it by cross-referencing the textbook. And it was outdated, so even if the exam matched the book, I’d be able to find newer research that conflicted with it. In a fifty-question exam, he would have to throw out almost half the questions and everyone got a way better grade.”

“You researched every question of every exam?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“He called a girl stupid and made her cry. And anyway, it’s not really ethical to be teaching outdated research.”

“So you—”

“Got him fired.”

“Fired? Really?”

Not exactly. He just didn’t get assigned any sections the following semester. You shrug. “Adjuncts are expendable.”

“And you don’t consider any of that underhanded?”

“I’d rather be underhanded than complaisant.”

Briefly he looks you dead in the eye. It ignites something in you like a match being struck. All the stupid princess movies you hated growing up and which Candy still makes you watch are right: love at first sight is real, and it happened to you, the person least qualified to do anything about it.

When Angie from the bank’s HR department calls you to schedule a formal interview, you begin your preparations. You buy an interview outfit. You ask Candy to teach you how to do your makeup and hair. Then you study. Common interview questions. How to answer them. What the fuck underwriting is. 

You arrive at the bank certain that the beautiful career fair man won’t be there, but he’s the one who greets you in the lobby. He’s once more wearing all black.

“Hi, Layla, good to see you again.” He holds out his hand to you. “Henry King.”

“Henry King,” you say back, awed as you shake his big, beautiful hand and look into his big, beautiful eyes. You’re going to be Layla King one day. You promise yourself you won’t go home and practice your future signature, because that would be ridiculous. 

Now you are in an elevator with Henry King, going all the way up to the thirtieth floor. He opens his mouth to pop his ears at floor sixteen. 

“Mr. King?” You wait for him to say, Call me Henry, but he doesn’t. “Do you have any tips for me?”

“Wouldn’t that give you an unfair advantage?”

“Don’t you want me to have an unfair advantage?”

He looks down and away, scratches his head, and even though he’s not smiling you get the impression he’s pleased. “As long as you don’t admit to being a psychopath, you have nothing to worry about.”

“I would never admit that.”

The elevator doors open and he holds them for you to step out first. “Just be honest,” he says, “and be yourself.”

When you arrive on your first day, Henry King is waiting for you in the lobby again, and he’s still not smiling but there is something in his eyes that tells you he’s glad to see you. He holds out his hand and says, “Congratulations.”

You won’t be shaking Henry King’s hand. You hug him and he goes oof. Tentatively he pats your back. When you pull away, you say, “Thank you for getting me the job. It really means a lot to me.”

He seems to be short-circuiting, like you have suddenly initiated improv in a well-rehearsed play. It’s fine. You have the job now, and after all, he did tell you to be yourself.

During your training, you’re required to read the corporate ethics guide and take a ten-question test. The questions are so obvious that you don’t really have to read the guide. In fact, you only need an eight out of ten to pass—which has frightening implications for the state of ethics here—but you read it like you’re studying for the MCAT. 

The section on dating in the workplace is a single paragraph. Should two employees engage in a romantic relationship, it says, it must be reported to HR. It also says that a manager dating a direct subordinate is grounds for termination.

You hail Henry over to your computer and show him the company policy on dating. Any other person would see how obvious you’re being. Not Henry. Henry says, “The ethics guide is a CYA document.” 

He uses that acronym a lot. It means Cover Your Ass. More specifically, it means to analyze all documentation from the perspective of the documenting party, whose goal is, above all things, to avoid a lawsuit. And in the event of a lawsuit, to avoid losing it.

“Look,” he says, pointing at your monitor, bent over your shoulder as you sit in your desk chair, so close you can smell him. He smells so good it makes you angry. “It says you have to report it. It doesn’t say what happens after you report it. That means the decision moves to the manager of the employees in a relationship. Then HR can wipe their hands clean of it, and the manager can fire both employees, citing that a potential breakup would create a hostile team environment.” He points to the next sentence about managers and subordinates. “It says ‘eligible for termination,’ but it doesn’t say who gets terminated. Again, probably both.”

You look up at him. “So we really can’t date?” 

Given his lack of a reaction, he seems to take your “we” to mean all employees of the company.

“It’s unprofessional.”

 

Every day the stakes grow higher. You study Henry, in part, thinking that if you dig deep enough you will find nothing, you will discover he is like all the rest, boring, bearing the sad burden of existence and merely passing the time until death. Watching television. Picking up a hobby. Sports. Disgusting.

You decide that you must first befriend Henry King. You have learned that people like talking about themselves, and for the most part they love being asked questions, because it is the status quo in the world to be self-interested. For all your faults, at least you are not self-interested. You’re very interested in others, and you’re so glad to be able to see this, in some ways, as a strength. You are at once perfect at everything but also somehow have no admirable qualities. You ask Henry King many questions and he tells you, simply, “I’m not answering that.”

You take a different tactic: you tell him about yourself. You try to be interesting. The cool stuff you learned in the classes you took, the drama of Candy’s vocational school love life. He listens and goes “uh huh.”

Next, you try to make him laugh. You are a funny person simply because, like all things, you’ve trained yourself to be. You have watched many hours of standup comedy and sketch shows. You’ve had the Kids in the Hall theme song stuck in your head for most of your life. 

One day, you’re busy looking at a client file while returning to your desk and run into the cubicle wall. Henry King laughs at you. That’s a start. 

After many months being his personal court jester, you conclude that Henry King exists in the infinitesimal Venn diagram overlap between having a dry sense of humor and being totally unable to understand sarcasm.

You’ve been looking forward to your first annual review, seeing evidence of your excellence. You’ve spent this past year learning quickly, working hard. You work through lunch sometimes. You arrive early and stay late. You take on as many deals as you can, some weeks more than Henry. You make sure everyone on the team gets a card and a cake for their birthday. Finally, you enter Jerry’s office with a notebook and a smile.

Fifteen minutes later, you return to your cubicle with a single sheet of paper marking you adequate. In every category, you “meet expectations.” No raise. No bonus. No promotion. 

Henry has a bad habit of offering hard truths in a way that is not at all gentle. “Look,” he says when you slump down into your desk chair. When he begins a sentence with “look,” you know you’re about to hear something horrible. “You’ll never get an A at work.”

He goes on to tell you the worst of all truths—that banks thrive on inefficiency and hard work is rewarded with only more work. And if you do too much work, employees will start to get fired, because it’s clear the workload isn’t high enough to justify paying so many people. You’ll also set a new standard for yourself, and if you set that standard too high, if you burn out and stop meeting it, you’re the one who’s going to get fired. The only reward you’ll ever receive is the privilege of returning to work the next day. 

To prove it, he pulls a manila folder out of his desk cabinet and hands it to you. You open it. Inside you find eleven identical sheets, each one declaring Henry has met expectations for the year, each signed off by the revolving door of bookrunners.

He’s the hardest worker you’ve ever known. You have a crush on him, sure, but even if you didn’t, you would still admire him. He’s diligent and patient, level-headed. He’s at least as smart as you, if not more. In every way, Henry King has exceeded your expectations. 

After work that day, you cry in your car. You haven’t cried since the time you watched Lacey torture a squirrel, and you witness it with interest and confusion. You’re not crying; crying is happening to you. Henry passes your car on the way to his. He pretends not to notice.

The next day, he asks you to lunch. You tell him no thanks. He does what you do: leans on your desk and stares at you for so long that you can’t ignore him, which is actually super annoying. You can’t believe he tolerates you. And since you’ve never taken no for an answer, neither does he. 

“I’ll pick you up and carry you out of here,” he says, nudging your shoulder. You’re always touching him but this is the first time he has touched you. Your face feels very hot.

You enjoy the thought of him picking you up and carrying you. You like how big and strong he is, even though he doesn’t seem to know that about himself, like a giant dog that thinks it can sleep in your lap without crushing you. 

He might be flirting with you. You’ve never actually been flirted with. You go to the copier to get your printouts. They’re still printing. Suddenly you’re swept up into his arms. You yelp.

“Put me down,” you say.

“Not until you agree to go to lunch with me.”

He holds you like you’re no heavier than a big client file. You know you’ll get in trouble if anyone sees you, but everyone’s at lunch. He takes you to the elevators. 

“Okay, okay,” you say. “We’ll get pizza.”

At lunch, in a roundabout, somewhat evasive way, he tells you what a good job you’ve been doing and that he appreciates your hard work. 

“Thank you,” you tell him, choking up but refusing to cry in front of him. “I really look up to you, so that means a lot.”

A silence follows that would be awkward to anyone else, but you understand that Henry needs these occasional pauses. For him, silence is not something that stretches across time but must be carved into it. He makes spaces for feeling, for thinking, for simply being in the company of someone else. 

These traits make your crush grow to unwieldy proportions, but after a year of trying to get his attention, you’re still just a plucky young apprentice to him. You don’t know anything about him. You’re close to giving up and you’re shocked by how badly that hurts. A boy you like doesn't like you. Your broken-heartedness is so clichéd, so conventional, so boring, and yet it’s the worst thing you’ve ever felt. 

One day, you tell Henry a story about a high school friend, nameless, and he says, “Wait, is this Michelle or someone else?” 

You stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk. He listens. He’s been listening.

“Yes,” you say, “it’s Michelle.”

Another time, waiting for a table at lunch, you accidentally stand in the path of someone making their way to the host station. Henry puts a hand on your lower back and guides you closer to him, out of the way. 

Every once in a while, he plucks stray hairs that cling to your wool coat.

A new thing begins to grow, so nebulous and strange you don’t at first allow yourself to acknowledge it. Over time, it becomes too big to ignore, and finally you look right at it: 

You love Henry King. 

You no longer just want his attention, you want him to touch you, curl up on the couch with you and watch TV each night, have children with you, grow old and die with you. It’s disorienting to know something in your head immediately but not actually feel it until a year later. You wonder what other things you have only thought but not felt. You wonder how long you have confused thinking for feeling.

[northwindow]

love your blog so much! and im wondering how you archive/document your day-to-day life and the information that you take in — whatever form: books, lyrics, trees, etc etc — ? im struggling so much w forgettttttting

i love this question! i’ve always longed to have a beautiful and consistent journal, but it’s something i struggle with maintaining organically so i’ve tried some different structures over the past few years. long-winded answer under the cut 💗

back in 2021, i was making a monthly journal on google slides which i really liked because it's so natural to integrate images. i just made a month of it public here as an example of what it was like.

from 2022 - now, i've been doing a new concept where on the last day of every season i write long, list-y answers to these prompts:

art that has been resonating with me (includes music, books, movies, visual art, anything really). i'll usually write a few words about it... "Decision to Leave dir. Park Chan-Wook—the eye shot! the eye shot with the ants crawling on it" or "'Train Ride' by Ruth Stone: 'Release, release; / between cold death and a fever, / send what you will, I will listen. / All things come to an end. / No, they go on forever.'" or "Chunky misshapen pearls and other organic, shiny shapes"

my favorite memories from the season... examples from past lists include "Swimming hole with Zoë where I stuck a twig in my hair and we waded around on our hands like crocodiles" and "Walks in my snowsuit at night, one in particular where the Gemenids meteor shower was just starting"

a checkup on 5 of my current projects/goals. currently these are 1. learn to lift weights, 2. write 50 "identical" poems, 3. write a new syllabus, 4. practice mindful spending, 5. improve at woodworking.

a checkup on 5 of my core values. currently these are 1. adventure, 2. connection, 3. play, 4. sensuality, 5. sustainability.

reevaluating projects and values to focus on next

since you mentioned wanting to remember things-- when i'm putting this together i draw extensively from my tumblr archive/likes, calendar, photos app, recent playlists, and letterboxd and storygraph accounts. curating this kind of ephemeral data into a more permanent and thoughtful record is really satisfying to me. i privately call this method "wrapped" a la spotify... like i'll have a big entry for "fall 2022 wrapped" and then "winter 2023 wrapped" and so on. i do all this on the app notion and file the seasons on one big page so it's easy to click into one and remember what i was doing and thinking about. (i also converted my dream journal to a notion database. i've logged about 300 dreams in here and love that i can tag by character/feature.)

over the years i've also kept a more classic diary via text documents that's less structured, just spitting out whatever's on my mind with the date at the top. i tend to do this frequently for a while, then ebb off, then restart another doc, rinse and repeat. i also have a few physical notebooks (including these two) but the digital stuff is way more extensive as i prefer to write on the computer.

if i were going to recommend any of this, i would say the visual format of the slides journal was really compelling because i liked the aesthetic freedom but i also love the "wrapped" lists because they seem to cut to the core of an era's texture. in the future i'd like to try to integrate these aspects together! 📓

[henrikvanderhussy]

Okay, we've gotta talk about The Silent Spy. I didn't remember much about it before replaying, and you never really see anyone calling it their favorite game, so I knew it wasn't going to be great, but I was still disappointed.

Similar to The Shattered Medallion, which I talked about here, I do think there's a GOOD game in there somewhere, but it's bogged down in some really messy structural problems.

Those problems are also very similar to MED's problems, which makes sense since MED was the next release after SPY. Just like in MED, the character interactions were all over the fucking place. I felt like I had the same conversation with each character about 12 times. Asking Moria "What was the Colony operation?" I dunno Nancy, maybe you could have figured it out from the newspaper article, the archives database, the info from every other character, or the papers at the cabin. And it feels like this is something that would have been relevant way earlier in the game.

But then at the same time, there are these bizarre jumps where it seems like you've missed conversations. We're asking Ewan if we should trust Alec when we've never even talked to Ewan about Alec before and there's no reason they should know each other.

Speaking of feeling like I missed stuff, the poem was the worst. "I need the full color copy of my mom's Jabberwocky poem" Girl, what Jabberwocky poem?? Apparently it was in Nancy's luggage, but the luggage gets stolen immediately when you start the game and we have no idea what's inside of it. She briefly says something to Alec about a poem, but that was after Nancy already noted she needed it to solve a puzzle.

Also similar to MED, there was such a weird manufactured sense of urgency. I was soooo very frustrated by the tests set by Revenant. I got the first call and thought "hmm, not sure what choice I want to make. I'll poke around at some other things first and then decide if I want to follow their instructions or not." Then all of a sudden I get a call saying that I've failed their test.

How was I supposed to know there was a time limit? What was the time limit based on anyway? Was it a literal amount of real-world time? Did I trigger another plot point in the game that ended the window? Hell if I know

The result is that you're left feeling like things could end or change at any moment and you have to do them quickly, but also simultaneously feeling as if it doesn't matter since obviously the game will continue anyway if you miss anything time-sensitive.

A weird combo of both stressed and 'eh fuck it'. Thanks I hate it.

This post is getting longer than I planned, but here's the thing, I actually think these problems could have been addressed with a really simple fix: Let Nancy sleep.

If the call from Revenant says "you have until midnight to give us what we want," then the player knows that if they want to follow the instructions, they need to do it before sending Nancy to bed.

If all of that weirdness in character conversations was because I was talking to characters and doing things out of the intended order, then structure the game so that certain things need to happen before you can go to bed ("I can't sleep yet, I have to xyz!"). Then make it so other actions can't happen until the next day. VOILA, problem solved.

You still want the structure to be somewhat loose to allow the player to explore, and so not everything should be confined to specific days, but it would allow linearity in the things that do need to be linear.

Nancy has a hotel room! There's already a bed and everything! It would have been simple to put in a sleep mechanic, just like in so many of the other games.

Look, I'm not a game designer, so I'm definitely speaking more confidently than I have any right to, but I just feel like the problems in The Silent Spy are fixable! And I really wish they had been fixed!

[soracities]

I wanna know how do you read poetry,do you understand all poems when you read them for the first time itself like idk if it makes sense but here are some struggles I go through and I hope you can help me with them -- at times I am unable to understand poems and in those times i feel like I'm just going through the poem just to get over with it 2. probably has to be when i am unable to understand a word,I don't to look it up at that time since it will ruin the flow

oh no i definitely don't understand every poem the first time, not in the least--but i do, however, make sure to read almost all poems more than once--sometimes 3 or 4 times depending on how difficult it is, but i always make sure to look up any words or phrases i don't understand and then i read the poem again once i know what they mean. i understand your worry about interrupting the flow, but in all honesty: absolutely look those words up! if it really makes it hard for you to concentrate on the poem again, then look them up after your first reading, write them down next to the poem where possible, and then read the poem again. you don't only get one chance at a poem--and sometimes you need repeated readings in order to get used to the flow and the structure of a poem first so that, through that familiarity, you can start concentrating more on the words themselves (this is especially true for longer and more complex poems)

sometimes i think it also depends on what your reading background is, what kind of poems you're reading and what kind of poetry (or any literature) you're used to reading, because sometimes you have to adjust your pace accordingly: someone like Sara Teasdale is far more straightforward than Emily Dickinson, and you can't read them both the same way because they do not use their language the same way. for me the main thing is not really focusing on "understanding" a poem, in the way we usually mean it, and more about just letting myself follow the poem's own logic and structure: if it's a rhyming poem, or one with a very strong rhythm then i let myself by taken by that rhythm. if it's a poem with a very strong focus on a particular image, then i try to pay attention to that image as i read and what is being said about it (what words are the poet tying to this image? what kind of verbs, adjectives? what kind of tone or feeling do all of these produce in me?). at the end of the day a poem is not a maths equation with a single answer: it's journey and in that journey you are watching a landscape or a story unfold in front of you. the poet is trying to take you somewhere, not for the sake of getting from a to b, but in order to spend time w you as they share something that has caught their attention. once you give up on "understanding" a poem--by which i mean, wondering what the "correct" answer is, like in an exam, it becomes a lot easier to be receptive to the poem itself because you are no longer so worried about missing what it's trying to say--does this make sense? please feel free to message me again if this doesn't help anon and if you want to tell me what poems in particular are giving you trouble and i can try and help x

[dallonwrites]

my fault for opening twitter but this pissed me offffff......."requires knowledge of form and structure" okay which ones? list out all of the forms and structures of a poem you know. how many do you know? do you know their conventions by heart? are certain ideas of poetic structures/forms held to a higher literary standard? what part of the world do they come from? can every possible poetic expression be categorised this way, shoved into categories? what do you actually mean by "knowledge of form and structure?" what does someone have to study and understand before they're allowed to "do" poetry? what elements of form and structure? who decides what ideas of form and structure people are required to know before they can "do" poetry? "and of course some amount of talent" how do we measure or define talent? how can you say that writing poetry requires and undefined amount of study of an undefined type of poetic theory, but you also need to possess some innately incomprehensible and abstract thing that makes you "better" at poetry than someone else? who decides what talent looks like? who gets access to "talent"? "poetry isn't just a thing you can do" why not? you can do anything because you are a human who is alive. how does the person who wants to write a poem about their feelings get to the point where they are skilled, studied, and "talented" enough to be allowed to write and share their poetry? what does this idea say about the art they create to get to this impossible end? it is fun to grow as a poet, an artist, to study theory and see yourself improve but you don't have to do anything of that if you don't want to.

poetry, like any art form, is in fact something you can just "do". you can write a poem with no form or rhyme or anything about the omelette you had for breakfast if you feel compelled to. you can write something melodramatic. just like how you can write a story about fighting dragons if that sounds fun to you. you can paint a picture of the sunset with no knowledge of colour theory if you want. the only thing you need to create art is whatever it is inside you that is compelling you to create

[knuckle]

on some more gentle book criticism it's wild that both of wu zetian's love interests in iron widow are highly educated & there are references to the aesthetics and structures of a scholar system, but there is utterly no casual reciting of classics, tactics, nor poetry from anyone. there are references to adapted forms of the classics, but it doesn't inform how characters talk or think (li shimin seems more like a guy who never got education than someone who memorizes poems to the point it destroyed his vision). I understand the whole "peasant frontier girl half literate" thing to an extent (even though it feels an odd choice) but there aren't even like idioms really. it feels very simplistic & uniform in characters' speaking style, and the world, language, and culture all read very flat because of that. tacticians like sima yi, an lushan, and zhuge liang too might have a more creative way to call someone a bitch or what is the point of reimagining them in this world is all I'm saying.

i think there was also a big miss of not even referencing half of the incredibly funny things that a star studded historical fiction cast could provide like zhuge liang never did something funny with a feather fan? no one had to bother him into working? no pranks with corpses? where is his ugly intelligent wife?

why not posture that an lushan's son gave the thumbs up on his murder? historically accurate and hilarious

honestly, every character could and should have just had an original name so i'm not frequently disappointed that, for example wu zetian who weaponized her children to become regent and curry favor views motherhood as the most restrictive shackle on a woman or that li shimin who assassinated his brothers in a tactical power play and expertly maneuvered the aftermath, getting his father to abdicate to him and becoming one of the most competent emperors in history, would just stand by helplessly with a bloody murder weapon while he was carried off to a death row labor camp

the book shouldn't have been marketed as a reimagining of historical or quasi historical figures at all because if you know or care anything about chinese history/culture it's massively immersion breaking & xiran jay zhao should have just leaned into a fully dystopic "fallen" society with only the worst aspects of chinese culture surviving, deliberately so because of the way the populace is controlled and managed, without any dressings of valuing scholars because they clearly didn't feel confident enough or want to put in enough work to actually mesh chinese literary classics or more than a skeleton of historical context with characters that bear the names of legends.

[visualvico]

📣 CALL FOR ARTISTS 📣

Hi!

I’m Ludovico, I’m a graphic designer student currently working on my graduation thesis. I’m looking for queer creators to collab on the project which is going to be a queer magazine named “Kwir” about subjects that are often left aside such as trans people, being poly, the drag panorama and so on…

All the contents of the magazine must be made just by queer artists because I want the magazine to be, in a world where we don’t have much space, a safe place to make our voices be heard and our works displayed. The number 0 of “Kwir” will hopefully be printed and distributed from April so the goal is to sell it in independent bookshops or queer shops in the future. I hope we can build a bigger and bigger team of creators to work on this to make it become a reality and a support chain for queer youth. The aim is for “Kwir” to become a project that will evolve and grow and continue to exist with more than just one published number. Since I’m a student I don’t have any funds at the moment so it’s a non-paid work but your works will be visible since it’s going to be published (and as I was saying the idea is to make it become a real thing for the upcoming years as well!). So, every content of the magazine will have the name of the creator to make your works gain visibility and for you to get known.

Let’s talk now about the structure of the magazine!

Each section of the magazine will have some articles and some visual contents as well.

Articles are going to be experiences and thoughts about each subject written by different people so, for example, subject 1 “Gender identity and sexual orientation” is going to be discussed from different point of views by more than one person. Person x will talk about their view about subject 1, as well as person y and person z so that an internal dialogue will take place about the same subject from different perspectives. If you are a queer person who has something to say about these subjects or if you like to write or even if you studied photojournalism, you could take part to the project this way!

On the other side if you are an artist, you can collab by creating visual contents and those can be anything: poems, photographs, illustrations, sketches, sculptures, tattoos and so on… They can be new or previously published contents; the only limitation is that they need to be related to the topics covered in the issue 0 of the magazine, which are the following: gender identity and sexual orientation; drag queens and the drag panorama in Italy; HIV and why schools should talk about it in the right way; the importance of language and pronouns for everyone; what’s the alternative world from cishet; sex work is work; trans lives, AFAB-AMAB and the word transexual; why a queer support network is fundamental and websites that can help; being poly: monogamy is not the only choice.

These are the primary topics to be covered in issue 0, which gives you an idea of the magazine's internal structure, including various themes that may often intersect with one another.

If you are a queer artist and would love to take part to the project text me! If you have any other question, I’m here to answer them all! I hope to hear from you soon, have a great day :)

[fictionadventurer]

I’ve loved following along with your NaPoWriMo poems! Any advice or tips for someone who’s thinking about trying out writing her own poetry?

I am so glad you've asked this question, because one of my main emotions during National Poetry Writing Month was anger at all the people who made poetry seem like this agonizing endeavor that only the most intelligent and soulful should undertake. As I got going, I found that it was fun. It was easy (or at least a fun challenge). It stretched my brain in new ways, and let me express things in a new creative format. I think everyone should get the chance to experience that, and I want to encourage everyone to try.

So here's my:

Guide to Writing Poetry For Absolute Beginners

Read a poetry anthology: One that collects works from multiple different poets across lots of different time periods. Ideally, one meant to introduce children to poetry, because children are going to want poems that are enjoyable, understandable and fairly straightforward--which is much easier for a beginner to imitate. Reading A Child's Anthology of Poetry was what first made me think poetry was something I not only wanted to do, but I could do. Reading a lot of different poets made me learn which styles I liked and didn't like, and gave me examples to keep in mind when I decided to write my own poetry--for example, I kept Sara Teasdale's poetry and this A.E. Housman poem in mind a lot during the month, because I found I liked short, rhyming poems that talked about nature with fairly straightforward language.

Don't be afraid: Poetry should not be intimidating. Ignore the books that say it's an agonizing endeavor. Poetry is putting words on a page, and then rearranging them to say what you want to say in a cooler way. That's it. Don't make it more complicated than it has to be. You don't need to scrape out the innermost depths of your soul--you can just tell people about something you saw, maybe share a thought about it. It can be simple. It can be fun. It's fine.

Do not try to write good poetry: This is the most important rule. Staple it to your forehead. Write it on the wall. As an absolute beginner, a lot of what you write is going to be bad poetry--and that's great! It means you're creating poetry! Which is much better than not creating poetry! Worrying about whether your poetry is "good" or "bad" is the easiest way to destroy your enjoyment and keep you from writing poetry. I cannot tell you how many times during April I looked at my poetry and thought in dismay, "Wow, this is really bad compared to other poetry," and then remembered, "Good thing I'm not trying to write good poetry!" and happily continued writing. If you just keep writing, whether it's good or bad, you're going to wind up with a lot more poetry--and have a lot more fun doing it--than you would if you'd let yourself worry about quality, and writing more poetry is a great way to get better at writing poetry.

Use prompts: I found that the prompts for National Poetry Writing Month were a great source of inspiration, giving me guidance when the idea of poetry was so new and intimidating that I didn't know where to begin. Not every prompt is going to inspire you, but the ones that do can be a great way to stretch your imagination. Having a community was also great--seeing other people respond to the same prompts made the idea of filling those prompts less intimidating--but I recognize that's not easy to arrange outside of National Poetry Writing Month.

Short is good: Short poems take less time to write. They make you focus on one or two things you really want to say or images you really want to use. They're easy to structure--set-up an image or an idea, resolve with a thought about it, and then you're done. You can write longer poems if you have an idea that requires it, but keeping your poems short is a great way to get a sense of accomplishment very quickly.

Play with rhyme and meter: Because it's fun and I like it. Because it makes you think about the sound of the words you use and encourages you to think about word choice and word arrangement. Because it can make a poem feel more structured and complete. Because the rhyme or meter you choose can help you figure out how to structure your idea. You don't have to use it for every poem, but I find that using it can make it easier to turn an idea into a poem, because it forces you to pare down your ideas to fit the structure.

Use poetic forms: For many of the same reasons I encourage you to try rhyme and meter. A poetic form can help give your ideas structure. It turns poetry into a fun crossword-style game. There are a lot of short, familiar poetry forms to start out with--I began with a limerick and a haiku--but there are tons of possibilities. When I needed inspiration for a poem, I often looked through this list--when I found a form that looked intriguing and doable, I'd try it out. Often, a certain form will suggest certain topics that would work well in that format, so this method can help with brainstorming, too.

Don't be afraid to branch out: It's fun to use rhyme and meter, keep things short, and use established poetry forms, but if you come up with ideas that don't do any of that, go for it! Especially after you've written a few poems--you've learned what you like and don't like, what works and doesn't work for you, so you can use your knowledge to branch out and try something new.

Observe your surroundings: It's a great way to get images and thoughts to inspire new poems, especially once you have a few under your belt and learn what kind of ideas lend themselves well to poetry.

Have a deadline: I found that having a poem-a-day goal helped me to write much more than I would have otherwise. I couldn't tinker with a poem forever--I had to post it by the end of the day and then move on. One day, I'll have to learn how to revise poetry, but that's a goal for when I'm not an Absolute Beginner. For now, finishing poems is the more useful goal.

Remember, all of this is advice from an Absolute Beginner who has been writing poetry for barely over a month. There's a lot I don't know, and I'm just sharing what worked for me. But as an Absolute Beginner, I feel I'm qualified to tell other Absolute Beginners that the endeavor of beginning to write poetry is absolutely worth it.