#like. im not taking the test for my OWN benefit

[bananonbinary]

just spent 50 DOLLARS on 5 whole covid tests for the family to take (we have immunocompromised friends and don't take any chances with them)

this is a fucking travesty

[homestuckreplay]

Pesterlog Timestamps

I’ve wondered before about pesterlogs not having timestamps the way real instant messages generally do. Some pesterlogs begin with a timestamp - ‘-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 --’ (p.26) – but that doesn’t show the time between messages. It might be harder to read and would probably make the screen more cluttered, which is my guess as to why they’re not there, and for the most part it’s extraneous information.

But there’s one pesterlog that I think would really benefit from timestamps for each message, and it’s the late night unanswered messages Dave leaves for Jade on page 829. This page is such a great insight into Dave’s head, and there’s this clear ebb and flow to his thoughts that feels like bursts of frantic typing interspersed with pauses to wait or do other things. We know the messages start at 05:14 Dave’s time (CDT), so here’s what it might look like with timestamps.

05:14 TG: hey

A classic greeting; testing the waters and giving nothing away.

05:17 TG: oh 05:17 TG: youre asleep again arent you 05:17 TG: or do you even know if you are 05:17 TG: i still dont know how that works 05:17 TG: its like nothing means anything 05:17 TG: its so cool getting hella chumped by your coquettish damn riddles all the time 05:18 TG: i dont know why i believe anything you say im like the grand marshal of gross chumpage 05:18 TG: waving around my faggoty chumpductor baton 05:18 TG: assitant director of chumpography 05:18 TG: celebrated author ernest chumpingway 05:18 TG: wait weak 05:19 TG: chumpelstiltskin 05:19 TG: uh 05:20 TG: chumpeldipshit 05:20 TG: yeah

Dave’s first ‘hey’ must come from seeing Jade online, and these kids are very responsive to each other, so it probably only takes a few minutes of no reply before Dave realizes that Jade has fallen asleep while logged in. Instead of a quick ‘talk to you tomorrow’, he quickly descends into rambling about how ‘nothing means anything’ due to Jade’s ‘coquettish damn riddles’. Dave’s emotions don’t show on his face but they do show in his hands (p.464) and it’s not surprising that he lets some things slip in the middle of the night, maybe even hinting at some feelings for Jade.

In Dave’s earlier/later conversation with Jade (p.382) he’s a little thrown off by her powers, but overall staying calm. Here, late at night and without someone to bounce off of, he’s getting frustrated and talking himself into a corner, workshopping his own jokes, maybe coming up with a word he’ll reuse in a comic someday. These messages are very stream of consciousness, and only pause when the chump puns stop flowing through his fingers and need due consideration.

05:22 TG: youre asleep y/n? 05:23 TG: a/s/l? 05:23 TG: s = species 05:23 TG: baboon? 05:23 TG: kangaroo rat? 05:23 TG: if kangaroo rat yiff twice plz

By this point in the story we know about Jade’s interest in furries, and that Dave is (ironically?) supportive of this. I’m sure this is an excellent source of humor for Dave and something he jokes about all the time. I could read lots into the ‘s’ being species here, where it’s typically sex (biological sex, used synonymously with gender) only the traditional ‘s’ isn’t something that’s relevant to Dave. I know that he does not intend that meaning and is just making a furry joke. Maybe these are jokes Jade gets annoyed at, and Dave is poking at this in case she’s ignoring his messages and this gets her to respond.

05:27 TG: ok well youre not saying anything so i guess whether youre nonawake or unasleep or whatever youre just not around and im wasting good material 05:27 TG: even worse im wasting a killer fursona here 05:27 TG: like 05:28 TG: i dont know like a wide open v shaped leotard and a fuck ton of body paint 05:28 TG: some like sinewy back arching cirque du soleil looking motherfucker 05:28 TG: always low to the ground gettin a good prowl on 05:28 TG: like i dropped my keys in the dark 05:28 TG: nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face 05:28 TG: for a reason that wasnt a joke

Dave goes into his second set of rambling messages, forgetting that he’s annoyed at Jade as he enters full fursona creation mode. He’s ‘wasting a killer fursona’ but he literally can’t stop himself from doing it – he either doesn’t think of saving his ideas until Jade’s around, or he wants to give her something silly to wake up to. The ‘i dont know like’ gives the sense that Dave started typing not knowing how the sentence would end, and also downplays his ideas before he even gets to them. But as he keeps typing he forgets to be so self conscious for a few messages. He has an artistic vision and a great vocabulary and is using all these evocative words – ‘sinewy’, ‘arching’, ‘prowl’, ‘nimblest’ and ‘gumption’ paint a picture of this proud and athletic creature. One that doesn’t resemble a kangaroo rat at all, which is even better. Dave’s imagination is all over the place.

05:32 TG: jade hey 05:32 TG: where are you 05:32 TG: seriously im sitting here tonight with a fucking bag of kibble jacked open on my lap and primed for goddamn bear 05:32 TG: and youre gone

After running out of steam on his fursona, Dave might try turning his attention elsewhere for a few minutes, and then remember that he’s tired, lonely, and didn’t get any validation on his recent jokes. These are the most heartfelt and open his messages get. I don’t think Pesterchum has a ‘delete’ option, otherwise Jade wouldn’t have seen these ones. Dave’s still got furries on the brain here as he goes straight for an animal metaphor, and once again he’s thinking of himself like the victim of Jade’s attacks, and the bear attack is a lot more visceral than just getting chumped by her riddles. There’s a desperation behind Dave trying to restart the conversation with another ‘hey’ followed by a ‘where are you’ that he knows by now won’t be answered. It’s so lonely, but it doesn’t feel selfish; the ‘bag of kibble’ metaphor reads like Dave knows Jade would enjoy this conversation and he wants her to share in this with him.

05:34 TG: btw my name is Akwete Purrmusk 05:34 TG: hardest buttock in the jungle 05:34 TG: tempered steel

Dave has a disease called ‘commitment to the bit’ and it’s terminal. He also needs to make a quick recovery from those actual feelings he expressed above. By this point in the conversation I have a visual in my mind – it’s a big black cloud in Dave’s mind of all the problems he wants to avoidthinking about, and two shining bats at either side marked ‘talk to Jade?’ and ‘kangaroo rat fursona’ and his thoughts are rapidly ping-ponging back and forth between those to avoid all the bad in the middle. So with Jade not responding to his pleas, of course he returns to his two standards of imagination and wordplay, adding to the slightly cursed but incredibly well drawn mental image of Akwete.

05:38 TG: hey yeah just wanted to give you this remix i finished 05:38 TG: here turntechGodhead [TG] sent gardenGnostic [GG] file "explore remix.mp3" at 05:38

It is at this point in the conversation that we learn Dave had a reason for messaging Jade. He probably wanted to drop this into conversation casually like it was no big deal, and might have distracted himself into forgetting about it until now. It’s also possible he wasn’t intending to send it, but was embarrassed by all his ramblings above, so came up with a quick excuse. ‘Explore’ was originally written by Jade (in-universe) and we learn on the next page that it’s not the first time these two have collaborated. Dave is outwardly confident in his musical abilities (p.339) and has the ready-made excuse of irony that makes it easier for him to share his art, protecting him from negative responses. Jade is also reluctant to criticize others, so all those factors combined means Dave is probably comfortable with sending Jade his remix.

05:41 TG: so yeah 05:42 TG: you dont have to respond to any of that btw 05:42 TG: ill probably forget half the shit i said anyway 05:42 TG: talk to you tomorrow

Maybe Dave’s finally heading to bed, or maybe he doesn’t like to leave things hanging (p.445), but he rounds out the conversation and officially signs off. By both taking the pressure off Jade to respond, and claiming that he’ll forget what he said, Dave denies any importance to his own thoughts. Maybe he hopes Jade will scroll to the bottom and see these messages first, and ignore everything from above. He definitely feels ashamed of some or all of what he’s said – whether it’s the general practice of sending a large volume of messages to someone who’s offline, the hints towards his own loneliness, the possibility that his new fursona could be serious and unironic, the remix as the whole basis for conversation, or all of the above. Dave has a tendency for speaking without thinking and then regretting what he’s said, struggling to meet the high standards of self control that his bro has set for him, and since he can’t go back and fix his slips, this is his only way of correcting them.

Dave’s hope to talk to Jade tomorrow wins out over his embarrassment, and softens the couple of messages before it – Dave is dismissing his own thoughts, not the overall idea of talking to Jade. He’s not the type to send a ‘<3’, but it feels implied.

[rosedere]

Our Spring Secret

Jade Leech x Reader x Azul Ashengrotto (Modern/Office AU)

Summary: You find yourself as the new acting CEO’s Friend with benefits — but little does he know about your secret involving Azul.

MDNI 18+

General series cw: Yandere content, NSFW, non con, Kidnapping, drugging, pregnancy (reader), love triangles, Suicid3 attempt.

Sequel to Murder Mountain. (Can read separately though)

Previous Chapter: All that I know

Current Chapter: 7 Weeks and 3 Days (you are here)

Next Chapter: will you marry us?

She bruises coughs she splutters pistol shots But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks 

Muscle to muscle and toe to toe The fear has gripped me but here I go

-

“Jade why do you keep leaving? This is the fourth trip this month”

The suitcase you were laying on top of while Jade folded his shirts onto the mattress next to you humming to himself was where you found purchase for the day, watching Jade for most of the morning as he instantly began to organize his things and clean around his bed way before you and your Bloom had even woken up.

“I’m not leaving you alone because I want to; Remember CEO’s have to travel frequently, especially with this new position Azul opened five new branches off the coral sea that need the CEO to inspect their quality” Jade tossed the neatly folded pressed dress shirt onto your face.

“augh, don’t piss me off this early”

“it’s already 3pm (Name)” Jade rolled his eyes before throwing another folded shirt at you.

Rolling your eyes back you opened the suitcase all the way packing the suitcase with the items he threw at you gingerly placing them next to his organized socks and three pairs of shoes he had in the red suitcase.

“Maybe once you get better I can use some of my days off to plan a getaway somewhere together” Jade sighed joining you where you laid on the suitcase by rubbing the side of your hip facing upwards.

“Im going to hold you to it Leech” You replied rolling over to face Jade at the edge of the bed.

“And it better be a fun vacation and not going to the museum of mountains and natural history downtown for 7 hours” you stretched out in your night gown.

“See, I found a new thing to occupy you while im gone” Jade responded, “you can find our first vacation destination instead of sleeping the day away again” He teased.

“Whatever, I’ll do both while your gone” you reached for your soft pink pillow above your head tossing it at him.

He caught it holding it to his face before slipping it under his arm.

"I'll just be taking this with me to ensure you actually so something"

"Jade stoppp give it back"

You lunged up to try to grab it from his arms only for him to side step you completely zipping the pillow up into the Suitcase before snatching the large enarmored luggage to himself.

"How rude, what if I was Pregnant with your child"

"I'd expect the upmost princess treatment like sleeping from you and nothing more"

Jade instead rolled the luggage to be beside another smaller night bag sitting next to the door, stepping off to the side for a moment before looming over your side of the bed.

"Who knows maybes that's why ive been so tired lately" You teased rolling to lay on your other side to face him.

"Well are you Pregnant (Name)?" Jade asked.

He was serious with his reply, now feeling the back of your neck began to heat up you only looked back at him unmoving.

"What do you think?" You bluntly replied.

"Hmm... well you have put on more weight since January" He eyed your stomach with his lone mismatched sunshine yellow iris.

"Maybe you are (Name)"

His face was now inches away from yours, his eyes peering back into your own.

"Back up Jade I was joking-"

Grabbing the last pillow propping you up your threw it at his smirking face; Stunned he quickly retaliated throwing the pillow back over ontop of you while laying down.

Jade only chuckled at the display of you trying to propped yourself back up.

"You know maybe we should get your tested (Name)" Jade joked.

"We have been busy these past few weeks, I wouldnt want to leave my beloved Girlfriend Pregnant home alone all the time" Jade peered once more over to your stomach.

You only laughed his statement off; if only he suggested this five months earlier you could have possibly found your way out of this whole dilemma...

"I mean would we really need a test? If it happens it happens Jade"

You were sincere in your thoughts; if everything in your life didnt get forced off course due to the circumstances you wouldnt have hated the idea if it being Jade's child.

He was caring towards you, had some kind of parental instincts in him when he had to discipline Floyd's single bachelor antics he'd bring over to the Penthouse, And currently was able to support a family emotionally and financially.

You couldnt place a emotion on Jade's face as he let his eyes wander your body. Heartfelt? Warm? Attentive? He was a man of mystery concerning his true feelings.

"You'd truly want to start a family with me (Name)?"

"If it were to happen yes" you responded, Eyeing your own stomach now, Your bloom must had been content with the large piece of Cake you had earlier since there wasnt as much movement as usual.

"But for now I dont think we should think hard about it- We havent even talked about if were going to stay together after this contract is over" you waved your hand dismissively.

"yeah, I guess your right" Jade grew silent, most likely thinking before he left your side of the bed making his way back to the door.

"Unless you want to just forget about the contract" You decided it was now for you to sit up at the edge of the bed to actually stop lounging around.

Swinging your legs letting the loose fitting nightgown on you got up feeling your legs guide you with weak steps towards Jade grabbing a hold of his Luggage.

"Jade?"

He was attempting to leave the room, but getting a grip on his back you held him in place gently massaging him under his suit.

"Do you not love me anymore?" You pressed your face against him.

He didn't say anything only allowing you to continue to massage him through his suit, His back visibly tense from the sudden movement of your hands pressing into him.

"We can talk when I return" Jade said before abruptly leaving with his things in his occupied hands.

You watched as he opened the frosted door walking down the hallway towards the kitchen without giving you a chance to catch up.

Huffing you followed him with short strides hoping he wasnt out the door yet.

"Jade, dont forget the lunch I packed for you in the fridge" you rushed to the fridge swinging open the door with fast steps, grabbing the pink and red containers that had his favorite mushroom casserole inside, Running to the door he had one step out already pulling his luggage away into the hallway outside.

"Hey!" You almost missed your step but you waved the container in front of him.

Only he slammed the door in yours face.

Staring back at your reflection in the metal door was all you were able to see, Jade already left.

No kiss or hug nor his lunch you packed for him to eat on the flight while he was away.

you hoped maybe he'd come back. Maybe just to unload his luggage and then he'd come inside to apologize to you with a kiss before going back downstairs.

Only it proved to be useless.

Sighing, you lowered your gaze to your bump.

Well, if Jade didnt want you then...

You couldnt finish the thought, Deciding to retreat back to the kitchen where the fridge door was still helplessly opened you let your hands cover your face.

Maybe you would go on your own venture, Besides, its clear Jade wasnt worried about you as of right bow anyway.

Might as well go see someone that did want company. Flicking your gaze to your car keys you decided what the evening would entail, Leaving the container on the counter you marched back to the bedroom to dress yourself in something that wasnt sleepwear.

-   Arriving at the hospital through trial and error you made it earlier than youd thought.

Despite the rejection from Jade at least you could confront Azul about other things that had been bothering you.

Namely the sudden flow of packages addressed to you from Azul, as flattering the gesture you wouldnt know how to explain the packages coming into work for you from the bedridden Azul. Which is what business you had to take care of today while time permitted. As you walked to Azul's room, you noticed the door was once again open; however, when you walked into the room, you couldn’t find him in his bed, by his bedside, or in the bathroom.    Huffing to yourself it seemed he was probably outside getting his physical therapy done since it was early noon currently.   Looking over at his bedside, the chair you sat in last time was gone, and the other few seats had stuff on them, forcing you to sit on his rather luxurious cot of a bed.   Hesitantly, you sat on the crisp lavender sheets, sitting as close to the side as possible. You were starting to become more winded the longer you walked due to your baby growing more and more as the several weeks passed.

Yearning to see his smiling face you paitently looked towards the door waiting for him to return.   After waiting for several minutes, it was obvious he wasnt going to be in anytime soon, you gave up scrolling on your phone since it was making you tired as you left it on the table. You guessed that you just missed him due to the long absence.   Sighing to yourself, you slumped yourself down into the fluffy comforter on the bed, looking up at the intricately painted ceiling. Making the idiotic mistake of counting the intricate tiles on the ceiling, slowly lulling yourself to sleep, your eyelids feeling heavier with each tile you counted passing out around 88 Golden leaf tiles.

...

~

You normally never dreamed. The sky was a strange lilac and blue color around you; it reminded you of a melted sunset. The cabin was in view as your opened the wooden door leaving the cabin, you realized you were on the west side of the mountain, seeing it behind you looking as majestic as it always looked overbearing the scenery like a being. You were barefooted and in a long white gown with embrodered flowers as you walked down the rocky path, feeling the twigs and pebbles beneath your naked feet.   Slowly, as you approached the north side of the mountain, however, a sense of dread started to hit you, making the tree line around you seem so wrong. You looked around, but nothing stuck out to you in the vast gradient evergreen woods. Picking up your pace, you tried to hurry up in awkward footsteps to get out of the wooded area, but the feeling kept getting stronger until you stopped to turn around once again, only to see nothing but the lonely trees behind you. You decided to run, as painful as it was, but a sound of heavy breathing was heard behind you. Eventually, you felt something with jagged, dark claws grab your dress, causing you to scream before being pulled into the woods. The claws scratched your body as they dragged you into a secluded part of the woods. You could see your flesh being gruesomely torn into by the grip, instinctively trying to protect your abdomen by swatting at the claws, only getting hurt even more from the claws. Painfully, the claws dropped you in front of a familiar tent in the middle of the woods. It was lit with candles and petals of some kind of flower leading into the tent. You looked to your left to confirm if it was true, and you saw the river and the thorn bushes next to the tent. You tried to get up, but your arms were mangled so badly that it caused you immense pain to move them. As you wailed, you saw a ginormous, tall, slender figure inside the tent that twisted and mangled onto itself as it started to churn in on itself with uncanny movements. It revealed itself from the tent as Jade, his limbs and body were twisted into some insidious dark matter, with only a few recognizable features from him, including his teal hair and his dark blue earring being the first recognizable things on him. Besides his gleaming yellow eyes, he had on his dark hiking jacket, it was just like that day.   “Jade” quickly approached you, moving unnaturally back and forth towards you, maneuvering his claws into the earth before quickly pinning you down underneath his insidious form. You wanted to scream, but nothing came out as it lifted you by your gown to face him at eye level.

  "(N̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞), t̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞’s̳̿͟͞ s̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞ I̳̿͟͞’d̳̿͟͞ l̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞k̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ t̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ a̳̿͟͞s̳̿͟͞k̳̿͟͞ y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞." “Jade" said, bending his crooked neck towards you.

  “D̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞’t̳̿͟͞ g̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ t̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ S̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞ H̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞d̳̿͟͞ D̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞s̳̿͟͞ C̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞p̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞y̳̿͟͞; I̳̿͟͞ l̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞,” it put its face towards you and revealing its fanged, sharp mouth.

  “D̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞’t̳̿͟͞ y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞ l̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ (n̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞)” it said, opening its mouth and Waiting for a reply.  

You couldn’t say anything besides panicked breaths as you felt “Jades” foul breath fan your face.

  “I̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞’s̳̿͟͞ f̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ (n̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞) I̳̿͟͞’l̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞ b̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞ f̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞ y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞ e̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞y̳̿͟͞ d̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞y̳̿͟͞, n̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ m̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞ o̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ I̳̿͟͞’m̳̿͟͞ g̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞ t̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞ b̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞g̳̿͟͞ f̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞E̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞E̳̿͟͞R̳̿͟͞” it licked you with its monsterously long tongue before it unhinged it’s jaw spilling a insidious dark liquid out of it.

You finally screamed as you fell out of his grip and quickly ran towards the river. You could hear it gaining ground on you as it weirdly waltzed towards where you were running. You ran down the forest path for what felt like forever before you saw the assorted cabins sitting in front of you with the various cars in front of some of the cabins.   You ran around a few trees, racing to a cabin with an open door to your left. You hastily locked the door, hearing the heavy clink of the lock shutting the door. You could hear “Jade” violently pounding on the door behind you, feeling the tremors on your back from the door being almost broken. You ran down the hallway towards the back room of the cabin. You stopped when you saw Azul.   He sat in a chair and was humming a tune you couldn’t quite recognize. He seemed to be making something to eat, cutting vegetables in a neat stack and putting them inside a bowl. He looked blissfully unaware of the violent banging outside the front door. You tried to speak but couldn’t form any words, only being able to stare at him, sitting like a silent spectator. He looked over to his right side briefly before continuing to make whatever he was cooking. You followed his gaze to see a baby chair full of colorful bars and streamers. Seated in the center of the chair, happily bouncing around, was a tiny baby jumping around in the seat, watching TV in the corner of the room. They seemed to have been 10 months old, given how big they were. Wearing a light pink onesie, you assumed it was a girl in the onesie. Instantly, when you came into view, the baby made eye contact with you, letting out a cheerful gurgle from their seat, and immediately made the “up” motion with their hands at seeing you.   Azul finally turned immediately light up at seeing you in front of him.  “No wonder she got excited. Did you get the dessert in the car?” He asked. You still couldn’t speak, but you pointed back to the door behind you. It seemed he didn’t notice or pay attention to what you pointed to as you frantically looked around the cabin.   Suddenly, a quake shook the cabin, leaving Azul and the baby unmoving in their spots in the cabin.    “R̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞b̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞, y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞ c̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞’t̳̿͟͞ l̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞v̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ u̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞ y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞ k̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞ h̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞m̳̿͟͞.”

  “̷̱̖̫̟̺̰͢͞O̡͍̱͎̯̣͕̤̜̺̘͍͚̻̤͝ŗ̸̲͙͉͓͚ ̨̣͕͉̫̜ͅI̴̞̦̦̗̥’̜͔̘̰͇́͠l͏̘̜̭̤̱͇̜͔̘̰͇́͞͠l͏̘̜̭̤̱͇͞ ̬͟c̛̛̟̪ͅo̧͈̙̦̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̛̯͖̺̥̘̯̙͈̫̹̜͢ͅȩ̣̰͓̻͎͡ ҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘̖̹̦̙͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩͢ a͏́͏͖͍̞̥̖̹̦̙͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̹̖̘͢ḑ̱̥̜́ ̹̖̘ḑ̛̛̱̥̜́ͅo͈̙̦ ҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̵̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘͈̤̩̝̣ṱ͓̕ ̧̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̛̯͖̺̥͕͚̝̘̞y̕҉̧͙̝̟̞͈̪̼͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s̛͇̘̯̙͈̫̹̜͢ͅȩ̣̰͓̻͎̜͔̘̰͇́͡͠l͏̘̜̭̤̱͇̝̺̠̖̭́͟͞͝f̷̩̲͈.”

  A loud thud was heard as you looked in front of you, seeing the razor blade in front of you—the same one from...   You picked it up, and suddenly, the scene before you was the cabin from all those months ago.   Azul lay in his blood and carnage in front of you as he begged you to put the razor blade down. A baby’s cry was heard from behind you, but your mutilated arms moved towards his bloodied body as you heard his cries and wails. The twisted, dark claws twisted around your wrists as you plunged the blade into his neck in one swift motion.   “It was him or me, but you picked him." Azul said in a weak voice, “Why?” He weeped to you with an indescribable sorrow in his face as life slowly left his eyes, leaving full azure orbs staring back at you.   Finally, you cried, holding him up to you and blooding your white gown as you held him close to you.   ~

...

...a jolt as you opened your eye awoke, looking around before you feeling a heavy cashmere throw over your stomach, the radio on playing soft piano music somewhere around you. Blinking the sleep from your eyes you remembered where your were again.   Azul was beside you in the bed; it seemed as if he fell asleep as well before you jolted awake, the drool in the corner of his mouth quickly wiped as he reached for his glasses in the dimmed room. His hands previously were purchased against your bump protruding from underneath the warm blanket.   "Are you okay, Angel?” Azul kissed the side of your cheek, rubbing your back soothingly. He placed a hand on your chest that traveled to your bump as he flicked his eyes to your bloom still most likely asleep.   “It was nothing- I just had a really bad dream,” sleep still evident in your tone as you felt yourself yawn loudly, letting your head lean on his shoulder.

“Oh? Care to share?” Azul began to massage around your bump.

“It was really bad,” you reiterated, “besides I wouldn’t want to worry you anyway; it was probably just my hormones,” you softly assured.   Azul thankfully didn’t press you, only focusing on your bump.

"Im so glad you came to visit me, and without Jade nonetheless" Azul pressed a kiss to the top of your forehead.

"Imagine my shock when I saw you slumped over in the corner of my bed after PT"

"Yeah sorry about that, I wasnt intending on napping in your room: I genuinely wanted to visit and see you"

Azuls lips quirked into a smile at the mention, his legs still under the metal braces as he laid next to where your's laid under the sheets.

"So, are you excited for Monday?” He asked, “I asked for permission for the day from physical therapy, and they’re allowing me to go to your appointment,”

You felt a warm sleepy smile form on your face, if only Azul knew how much those words meant to you in the moment, your memory briefly reminding you of the strange coldness you received from Jade at the mention of forgetting the Contract.

Maybe you shouldnt dwell on it; you didnt want to get depressed about how bipolar Jade was being this week.   “I’m glad to hear you're taking this seriously,” you replied, as you said that you instantly remembered why you were even here besides not wanting to be reminded of Jade.

"Um, well, I guess very seriously, I was shocked by all the things you’d gotten for our child.” You started to nervously run your fingers through your hair.   “I’m not even finished yet, Angel; I still need to find a new place for us to start our family,” Azul murmured wrapping his arm around you once again.

“I want us to start anew somewhere else, together.” He said resting his chin on top of your head.

"No more drama, we can start over whereever your heart desires, Leave this place behind us with the memories that happened here"   “What are you saying, Azul?” You owlishly blinked, finding Azul's eyes.

He conjured a soft laugh before letting his hand find the warmth of your hair stroking it in a comforting motion as he looked into your shocked hues.

“I’m saying I’m in love with you (Name); I want to make things right with you,” he said softly, running his fingers into your hair like a weaving. You regretted looking into his eyes, allowing him to see your cheeks turn dusted in rose.

"I just- couldnt bring myself to tell you during our last meeting but Ive had time to reflect on how I truly feel about both you and our child" His blue hues met your own colored irises.

You wanted to believe Azul's words ,however, the irritating voice of Jade echoed in your head from the other day causing you to instantly grimace.   “If the one I loved wasn’t important to Azul, they’d have already been charged with attempted 1st degree murder by now.”

You broke his eye contact looking away towards the wall behind you both.   “Is that why you lied to everyone about what happened?” you lowly asked.

Azul's eyes widen from surprise a sudden chuckle bubbled from him before he rubbed the apple of your cheek.

“What do you mean sweetheart?” He asked,   “In the mountains, you remembered us being together, but you purposely omitted that I convinced you to let me take you there,” you bluntly questioned. “you dont really have Amnesia do you?” Your tears once again threatened to fall as you confessed to him.

"You know what I did to you those six months ago"

Azul didn't say anything, only focusing on you watching you intently with a soft grin on his face.   “You hate me dont you?” you tearfully said, trying to keep your tears at ease to get your point across to Azul.

“It’s just like what Jade said: I shouldn’t trust you because you might get rid of me once I have my child and send me to prison forever.” You burst into a wail as your felt the wet tears dripping from your face wiping your eyes. Pulling back from Azul, you tried to get out of Azul's hold, but he wouldn’t let you go, leaving you stuck in his grasp a tearful mess wiping your eyes with your palms.   "So Jade apparently knows me so well he can read my mind, huh?” Azul sneered, “What other lies has he been feeding you while you’ve been away from me?” Azul watched you as you sobbed into your hand.   “I just want to know if your genuine Azul,” you exhaled.

"Because I dont want to fall in love with someone that just is going to dispose of me like Jade did to me this weekend" you hiccuped.

“Ive been through so much I dont want to be tricked by you again to trust you like when we were in the Cabin again"

You turned away from him in the bed sitting up, displacing the soft throw as you tried to get up from the cot, only to feel his arm grab your upper arm tightly.   "I dont know what to say to make you believe (Name) but it seems Jade has poisoned your mind as he is good at" He sighed.

"As I said, I actually love you enough to confess whats on my mind unlike Jade-" Azul raised his voice towards you; you backed away in his hold as he held a dark expression on his face.

A lurch was felt before your bloom jumped inside at the loud surrounding around them, most likely as scared as you were of Azul.

You patted your abdomen to calm them down as they kicked to change their position inside of your walls.   "Well, if it’s true, then show me proof you love me,” you begged, wrapping your arms around your abdomen to protect your baby from Azul.

“Or I’m leaving this hospital and town, and I’ll never see you again; I’ll take our precious bloom away from you, and you’ll never hear from both of us again,” you yelled at him, trying to thrash out of his hold around you.   For a moment he stared you down with fury and anger in his eyes before he relented taking a deep breath in to calm himself. He sighed before he spoke.

"I dont want you to leave (Name)"

“I love you but if I must tell your what is truly going on in the background,” he began to catch your attention as you glared at him with pure hatred.   “Jade killed Brett so he could place blame on him for my attack and your… incident ontop of the mountain,” Azul said quietly, “He wanted to drag your name in all the papers as this poor victim of the Sugar Horned Devils CEO that was raped and used as a company spy by him, frame you as a revenge killer for Brett, and then bail you out for his murder.” Azul continued.   “That bag over there,” he pointed at the white shopping bag you brought in the last visit in the corner of his room, “has your fingerprints on it; he wanted me to call the police and tell them you murdered Brett and he attacked me,” Azul began to soothe your back.   “but out of the love for the both of you I’m not going along with it, which is why Jade is threatening to keep you from me if I don’t comply before April"

You stared blankly at Azul unable to process what he said. Jade had truly lied to you, this whole time he pretended to be helplessly in love with you treating you like a princess in the highrise knowing full well he was going to ruin your life in another month.

It was no wonder why he wasnt here.   You couldnt hold it in anymore- letting all of your tears out on the warm gray sweatshirt Azul had on as you leaned into his chest. Azul only comforted your collapsed form resting on him as you let your tears finally flow from your face. You knew Brett’s murder was suspicious; you thought it had been Azul because of their relationship, but it was Jade, who you shared months of your time with together; you had even had sex with him, giving Jade your heart.

You were truly beginning to consider Jade's choice to be a couple together. But to you it meant nothing anymore, the future youd daydream about when Jade would make you lunch, or when youd both be curled up on the sofa spending time after work together.

It made you sick-   “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but I couldn’t keep lying to you anymore, Angel,” he said, kissing your forehead. 

"I just want you to be Happy (name) not wallowing in the misery that has been brought to you" Azul spoke up.

you cried for a while that afternoon.   Eventually after all your sorrows were done you both laid together side by side as you tried to calm down from everything you had just discovered. Focusing on the radio softly playing Azul's favorite music as he told you about the various things that had went on during his stay in the hospital kept your mind busy.

Azul and you both decided to get something to eat, Having dinner together while you both kept each other company.   You couldnt help yourself by occasionally glancing back at him; It was such a different lense you saw Azul through now.

Someone that Azul actually wanted around...

It was about nine pm when you realized how late it was. You honestly didn’t even want to go back to Jade’s place; you knew Jade wouldn’t be back for a long time, but it disgusts you to have to come back to his penthouse.

Fixing your hair in the mirror in the bathroom you decided to gather your courage, Azul was changing into his own clothes to sleep in taking extra care in changing his pants on the side of the bed.

"Azul"

“is it alright if I stay with you?” You called weakly over your shoulder, “I just don’t want to go home tonight"

He was silent before you heard him reply.   “You needn’t ask; I welcome it since it does get rather lonesome not seeing anyone until Friday,” he sighed. “And besides, this gives us the chance to talk about our future together; I’d like for both of us to be on the same page,” Azul's reflection in the mirror behind yours, you felt a smile of relief wash over your cheeks.

Maybe it was true.. Retreating from the mirror you beelined to the cot lying in the disturbed spot from where you first fell asleep on; watching as Azul finished dressing himself before joining where you laid.

Grabbing his hand lifting it and lacing his hand together, you intertwined your fingers into his, examining how well yours and his hands molded together.   As if…

They were meant to be.

-

[drdemonprince]

Hello! You have opened a fascinating door into kink communities I didn't even know existed. Thanks for that. I was describing some of your steamworks adventures to my partner, who works as a Disease Intervention Specialist (aka DIS, a government healthcare worker who administers free/low-cost STD testing and then attempts to track down and notify+test the recent sexual partners of any infected individuals). (He brings some INSANE stories home from work and gets to give sex ed talks at the local Christian college using a model penis that actually ejaculates--but I digress.) He was horrified by the hypothetical situation where an infected person could have blindfolded sex with an unknown number of nameless strangers. It's hard enough trying to track down partners when the patient only knew them by their Grindr username. How do you have safe sex in these situations? Some STDs can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact even with a condom. Do venues like steamworks enforce any rules around testing/protection/etc.?

If your partner is 'horrified' by the actual sex lives of the populations he ostensibly serves I think he needs to read more from harm reductionist thinkers and queer activists from a variety of past eras and work on processing his feelings of judgement to ensure it doesn't impact his actions in that line of work.

The books and Melancholia and Moralism, Saving Our Own Lives, and Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality are good places to start.

If you're having anonymous or blindfolded sex in cruising spaces, one route of managing risks is to assume that every person there could be infected with STIs you do not have and to plan accordingly. Vaccines, condoms, PreP, testing, and education are just some of the tools at one's disposal, and one should always be cognizant of the risks that one is consenting to. Steamworks has sexual health educators and testers present within their space regularly, but they don't gatekeep based on serostatus, health status, drug regimen or use of protection -- doing so wouldn't be feasible and would be problematic on multiple grounds.

I don't believe the goal of a public health initiative or a life well lived is to eliminate all risk, or to regard the presence of any infection in any human body as unacceptable, but rather to empower people to make informed decisions about the level of risk they are comfortable confronting, or that is worth the numerous benefits to them.

Personally, I was in far greater danger when I didn't have access to such spaces. Cruising spaces make negotiating sexual consent far safer than privately dating and hooking up with someone, and Steamworks are vitally important queer community spaces, and for me are well worth the trade off. No one should have any illusions about this ever being an experience that they can eliminate all risk from, rather they should anticipate it and plan for it.

I think "safe sex" is an unhelpful framework to pursue because it is so binary and can't ever be guaranteed. What does safety mean? Which types of exposures do we consider to be "unsafe"? Am I unsafe if I encounter another person who, like me, has had a cold sore before, like 80% of the population? Or someone who has a strain of HPV I am vaccinated against? What about if I have an encounter with somebody with a cold? I'm "safer" being fucked by an HIV positive person who is undetectable and wearing a condom than I am having barrier free sex with a long term partner who cheats. I can't even know I'm taking a risk in the latter case; at Steamworks, I'm assuming my risk level to be on the high end and planning accordingly.

I understand that testing and tracing are important parts of public health for our populations. It was vitally important when monkeypox broke out. Maybe Steamworks should collect member emails and alert them if there was a reported transmission on a night that they visited. Though even then, there are some negative public health implications to dozens of people panicking. But there is no means of eliminating all risk entirely or tracing all human sexual behavior and I would be myself pretty horrified if there was.

[turtlestm]

i think this art has deeper meanings that no one talks about (banana fish theory)

take this opinion with a grain of salt because im definitely not someone who's been a long-time fan of banana fish therefore im relatively fresh in this fandom. i also havent read the entirety of the manga so take that too. this is just my thoughts on this art from angel eyes

yall ready? okay so here's my take: when ash initially conceptualizes someone who desires him, eiji in this case, he approaches it as if it's sexual rather than emotionally sensual because it's all he's known desire as. the only way he's known desire directed towards him is a sexual desire, one for his body in one way or another. however, when eiji shows his desire for ash, he desires his whole self, inside and out and all the ugly parts, therefore gazing deeply into ash's eyes, his soul.

this also makes me think abt the fact that in the prison scene, ash decided to kiss eiji right on the lips even though he didnt really have to (let's face it, he could've given the note thru a handshake) despite eiji showing no desire for his body prior to this, but he inadvertently showed that he wants to stick by ash's side despite hardly knowing him. ash probably was using that kiss to test the waters in some sort of way, most likely how eiji would respond rather than if he himself would enjoy the kiss.

i don't think ash had fully formed any kind of actual romantic feelings for eiji at that point, but i do think he was trying to convey a genuine trust for eiji when he kissed him back then while eiji didn't seem to really care for kissing ash and only stuck around for him

with this example i mean to say that ash saw the way eiji was treating him and how he showed ash kindness and wanted to test to see if ash's company or whatever is really what eiji wants by kissing him and seeing how eiji would respond. but since eiji doesn't seem to care about ash for any ulterior motive or sexual attraction, eiji's innocence shines through and he sees ash as only ash, not as his body or his benefits

this is especially meaningful to their relationship and development because this indicates that eiji has seen ash for who he is from the start. i also believe things probably would have turned out a bit worse (at least on an internal level) if eiji kissed back, which would probably have shattered some of the trust that ash had placed in him so early.

someone also mentioned on twitter the composition of this art rather than just the poses themselves; eiji is above ash, as if initiating an act while ash is grappling with how he should feel about his sexual attraction to eiji. as ash's story has not given him the freedom or bodily autonomy to decide a sexuality for himself (even taking away the one person he liked when he was fourteen, a.k.a. his one chance he had to explore his sexuality at his own will), he technically doesn't exactly have his own sexuality discovered and thus does not know how to interpret the way he feels about eiji. yes there is love, yes there is affection, and yes he does open himself up to eiji in ways he would never open up to anyone else in his life, but sexual interactions have been so tainted in his eyes due to his trauma. he only has ever been taught to associate sex acts with trauma so eiji is new to him.

eiji is not just an experience, but a person. the type of relationship they have is new to both characters. it's eiji's first time experiencing romantic love (as far as we know) and it's ash's first time experiencing sexuality that he doesn't want to run away from.

it's clear that ash wants intimacy and he wants to accept that desire, but it is a rough journey for him that eiji is willing to stick around to see through. that's probably why eiji is initiating the kiss here, because he wants to give ash a little push to evaluate how he feels here. i believe that he is waiting for ash to respond and ash's eyes scan eiji's lips while eiji watches his eyes to see what ash observes.

[hot-astrology]

Unconditional love

Love is distrubuted thought out the world in many ways and sectors. Its the major contribution that helps the world and humanity evolve. It doesn't take no energy, no effort, nor money, to give it to the person you love the most! Now that we are on this topic of Love, love was said to be one of the most strongest and best gifts we have here to connect to one another. Its has been stories of people saving love ones, animals from their death beds, from a hug, someone saying they love them, expressing their concern and love towards that person while they were unconscious and the person woke up from comas, accidents and situations that they shouldn't have made it back home.

With that being said! Its alot of different types of love that people push out. This love type is so magnificent and unappreciated. Yes! Unconditional love! Which many never heard of or displayed it or flat out dont know how to show it. The definition of Unconditional love in my words ( Its when you accepting the flaws, mishaps, misfortunes and shortcomings of another individual. You accept their traits, views, past and future aspirations even when its not aligned with your own beliefs or future goals. When they are sick, ill, feeling bad, not the same and cant be there for you like they use to you still understand their situation and circumstances.

Its when you are married for years, your wife or husband, and they are not looking the same, their appearance start to change, their best features start to deminish. You may have to help them walk, get up, use the the restroom, wash up and eat. So many sacrifices would have to be made in this new transition of life. All the superficial and glam you appreciated about this person would fade away. Your true love will be tested and given opportunities to understand what real love is. Facing their pains, hurts, ups and downs and their dark sides that you never thought you would see.

People tend to only want to give love to people who they see fit with their likings, who they benefit from, like their appearance, give them comfortability, and their status. Now this goes a long way, not only a spose, girlfriend, boyfriend, it also applies to family, friends, strangers, coworkers and humanity in all. When your love is so great and strong and it have no limitations or focus on details or a particular person, thing, object, its powerful. It comes from a whole different part in your essence that everyone cant understand or fantom. You begin to unlock gateways and open portals to a more devine love.

When you are able to understand, and feel for a person unconditionally without judgment its a whole different energy that attracts better outcomes and situations. You work from whole different part of your soul essence then others, you treat that person like you want to be treated and you give things to them without looking for anything in return. Your hands are never out, but your heart is always open give more love and accept whatever is in return and usually not what you put out. The power of love is strong especially when its meaningful, true, authentic, real, and unconditional.

With all this being said and understood, and hopefully overstood, you all need to know that everyone is not here for the same experiences and have the same gifts to show the world. Many people have powerful love to give, as well but just go about it in different ways, so its no wrong or right here. But for the ones im talking about your love nature is one of a kind, its so impeccable, its a force to be reckoning with, exceptional, extraordinary, highly rated, remarkable, and soooo soooo soooo admired! By many and us. You all have a different type of capacity to deal with and understand love and its core level without being benefited from it in most cases.

These picks is our opinions. We came up with 4 that we feel like they are good zodiac signs that carry these attributes and qualities. It can or could be more, but we came up with these 4 from a deeper look inside each zodiacs mind, essence, soul, focus, and love nature. These zodiac signs showed us what we were looking for in this breakdown. So here are the 4 signs that made it to the top chart of our unconditional love series.

Leo

This fire sign brings nothing but loyalty, protection and love to the house hold. They are firm believers of powerful love and how you give it will impact your family or pack. They can be extraordinary, exaggerate and flamboyant but never false about their love for their love ones or whoever is around them. They will shower you with gifts, love, affection and charismatic finesse. Even tho they love flashy and extravagant lifestyles, they are never superficial about the love the give and and receive. They do love affection, admiration and validation. Their true nature is to protect, love, secure, appreciate and cherish the ones closest to their hearts. Its nothing they wont do for your love and to keep you happy. This sign is ruled by the heart, which leo represents courage, power, strength and loyalty. They stand up for those around them with their chest out and pride of it, who ever is around them feels their power and shiny presence. Their love runs deep and never stops, they understand what love is because they want it given to them in the same respect, at same time they dont have their hands out to receive anything from you, just want your time and closeness. They will be there at your hardest times, difficult measures and worst hours. They will boost your pride, wake your soul up and make sure you are getting the love and affection you deserve. This love is umatched and so real, you can feel their strong aura giving you the unconditional love your soul and heart needs.

Cancer

Warm, settling, loving, mother energy that warms your soul up at its core. When a person hears the zodiac name cancer they know they are your household name, known for mending the family, keeping everyone happy, making those warm fulfilling meals that touch your bones and soul. They have that motherly instinct and calling. The nuturer as they say, with such a soft heart for others feelings, emotions, and pains they still find a way to help out and provide time, emotional care, and strength to help the person overcome their barriers and life obstacles. Many wonder how can a energy be so soft, emotional and sensitive but yet be so strong and powerful. Hmmmmm that is something to have, thats why by far this is one of the most powerful zodiac signs, they have a unique gift that keeps giving and flourishing the more they be their selves and help humanity. They spose or families would love their hospitality and good warm nature as they prepare supper and a cozy house setting as they relax for the evening. They are there when you are sick, ill, cold, weak, hungry and just tired. The way this sign operates from the heart would have you thinking it rules the heart, but it doesn't. It rules the chest, breast and stomach, well the chest is the protection plate for the heart so i can see that. home is where the heart is, they will touch your heart in ways that cant be described. They will fight for you, speak up for you, and stay down for you. This sign loves hard and love emotional connections, so they will learn your emotions and help you release your own emotions to help you feel better. You can always count on this sign to understand your feelings and have sympathy for your downfall or ins and outs.

Virgo

Can be very critical at times but never let you down, always there to relieve you of your stress and pain. They will go out their ways to make you happy even when it jeopardizes their life or finances. So logical but so nuturing at the same time. Kinda like cancer but with a more analytical approach to the womb that needs healing. Their service oriented skills doesnt shy away from the chaos or obstacles. They are your hard service workers that show gratitude towards helping you. Thats why they are classified as the servers, but not just a server like that, they go beyond and above. They want to help you, heal you, make you better, see you succeed, support you, find your weaknesses, strengths and greatest gifts in you. This a a sign you never want to walk over and disrespect.or never show your appreciation for their services and time. Their hearts and care go a long way, they like that medical nurse thats on the line of duty in the military that has a AK on their shoulder, 9 mm on their hip, while bandaging you up and giving you words of advice and strategies help you on your way so you dont make the same mistakes. When you feel at your lowest and lost they will direct you in correct path. They will love you while still helping correct you. But their love is one of a kind, you will never want with them, they will support you as long as you stay who you are and appreciate they energy they giving you. They are mixed with brain power and nuturing skills which cant be bad at all. They have the healing touch as well, this sign has a unconditional love that operates from a analytical emotional stand point. But you can never lose with this zodiaz sign.

Picses

Now these mutable fishes are very skilled at understanding what happened, how it happened and what will make it better. They come from a ether realm approach to everything. They can feel the room out and see whos hurting or sick, they can touch their grandmothers shoulder and know shes in pain. All they go by is energy and actions, so they read what you do and how you do it more than words. Their presence can invite you and make you feel relaxed and calm. This is a mutable sign so they are more of a free energy that gets pulled and tugged multiple ways. Their energy is very sensitive like a cancer but more on a psychic aspect, they can heal you like a virgo, they can make you feel happy, and prideful like a leo. This sign is our top sign that we think that shows the most unconditional love. Their heart goes a long way without any reciprocation or need for appreciation. They will listen to you, help you, understand you, guide you, support you, acknowledge you. Their soul is free as a bird, if you around them its a no judgement zone and make you feel loved. They have some of the top healing powers, psychic abilities that will help you with sickness, mental health, or just life answers. They are by far one of the best friends to have, wont let you down, always available and want to see you reach your highest potential. You can feel their love and energy radiating from them. They love universally and look at all things as in 1 and all. When you around this type of energy you have no choice but to do right, prosper and succeed. They say picses have a god complex, well i dont think its them being that way, its more of them being the last zodiac sign, and impacted with all the other signs energies so they feel they experienced or have the capabilities as the other signs. Which may be truth, this sign is so powerful and use their love, intuition, and optimistic skills to navigate through this realm and help those around them to a better place in life. Once a picses touch your soul and heart you wont be the same, they make you look at life with a different view ( rose-colored glasses ) but sooner than later those glasses will be removed but over the time and mentality change and appreciation of the world and others as they are you will take them off and still create the world you want, and need to make your experience the best. These individuals will show you love and what it is to love someone without only looking on the outside. They dont judge you for what you lack, or what you did to them, for what lies you told and how you keep being the old same you, but they are there until you finally change or give in since they are so optimistic. The love is great, wonderful and abundant and sooooo joyful and unconditional with that you get swept away in their current and float in their cloud of Unconditional love and bliss.

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[calcja]

SAINT OR SLUT PT. 2

CHARACTERS: Haitani Ran, Haitani Rindou, Kokonoi Hajime

THEMES: 18+//NSFW//PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ❗️❗️

SYPNOSIS: Here's what i think whether these bonten members are virgins or nah

A/N: Hello! this is the pt. 2 of Saint or Slut. Thank you very much for liking the first one! I DIDNT EXPECT THAT IT WOULD HAVE THAT MANY LIKES SO THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE HUHUHUHU!!! Again, There might be some grammars and spellings error bc english is not my first language.

❗️This does not follow the manga❗️

❗️Bonten timeskip, They're not minors here anymore❗️

❗️I do not own any images here. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS ❗️

link to first part:

• RAN HAITANI

• 😁😁😁😁... no.

• He's not a virgin anymore. End of the topic.

• Ran is a high maintenance guy, He canonically likes to take care of himself, inside and out. Ran seems to be the type of guy who fills up his needs and wants as a man.

• Now every guy have already imagined themselves having sex AND wanting sex, most of them engage into it just like Ran.

• Just like Sanzu, this man always do his job first especially when it benefits him (and his bro)

• Ran might not be THAT slut but he's a BIG FLIRT especially to girls his types

• idk but i dont rlly see him fuck some random bitches, THIS MAN HAS STANDARDS. he would probably test that person first before he leads them to bed and what i meant by testing is flirting w them first duhhh

• RINDOU HAITANI

• Not a virgin anymore

• Just the fact that he's a DJ in Ropponggi says it all. He's a club owner. He's a Haitani.

��� He spends his free time at his own club or sometimes at the club he and his brother own, hosting parties and socializing w other people.

• It's either u're the one who's gonna approach him at the dj booth or he's the one who's going to approach u when u got his eyes and attention.

• Rindou would be the type of guy to chat w u first and have a nice conversation before u end up on his bed

• Would definitely interrogate u first abt what type of music u like lol

• I can see him fucking u in a much more private settings not just in some bathrooms or small romms or what

• This is so random but he gives me "i'm alrdy taken" vibes 😲😲😲

• Kokonoi Hajime

• yuhhh (a virgin)

• cmon give my man a break

• He's defo the most stressed person at bonten

• Always busy. 24/7 paperworks. short breaks.

• He's too busy to fuck w someone, bro just want 8 hours of sleep.

• but im sure he alrdy made out w someone

•If he ever will makeout w someone, i dont see him meeting someone to makeout w at some club like the other members but rather i see him at the office or sumthn

• Koko rlly needs to know u first before he gets freaky w u, It will take long bcs he needs to be comfy w u first.

a/n: That's all! thanks again for reading the first part of this series

[emmyrosee]

hiya emmy :D i was reading ur dad aus, and i thought ‘what if emmy wrote older sibling aus?’ and i wanted to request one :) somehow im a complete softie for ur bakugou, so i wanted to request an older brother bakugou who ten years older than his lil sis, and she absolutely adores him. i think shed be like ‘katsu-nī’ all the time, and be around five? six? when he gets into UA. idk why but im imagining him calling her ‘kid’ or ‘brat(in a nice way, u know?)’ and when hes rlly soft, maybe ‘sweetheart’ when she has nightmares? and maybe when he gets captured, shes so scared that she cant sleep well, and after he comes back, she begs to sleep with him, and mama mitsuki finds her kids sleeping together during the night, with bakugous lil sis clinging to him like her life depends on it and bakugou having an arm around her. and maybe when she was younger, shed enter bakugous room randomly, and sit on his lap while he does hw or study? and shed have all kinds of nicknames for his friends, for instance, she likes to call midoriya ‘zuku-nī’ and kirishima ‘aka-nī’ cuz he had red hair and calls the rest of them by their first names and ‘san’ at the end :) thx for listening to my rant and i hope ur having a good day, and u stay healthy :)

-sky :D

WAIT NO THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE. REALLY REALLY CUTE-

Because like. Yeah, the last thing the boy needs in his life is a new sibling, he needs that like he needs a UTI.

But then she comes along and he’s like… like he’s obsessed with her.

He tries to hide it under indifference, he doesn’t really care that there’s gonna be a new, tiny presence in his home, he’s got enough to take care of.

That is, until Bakugou Kaida comes into this world.

Until the smallest, sweetest bundle of pink blankets is passed into his arms and it’s then and only then he realizes that he’s doomed, because this kid was going to absolutely have him wrapped around her finger, and come hell or high water, he’d keep her the happiest little brat to walk the face of the earth.

And he is sure to have her grow up with that knowledge.

One time, when she was three, someone pushed her on the playground, and Katsuki nearly punted a four year old- he, instead, told her how to push back (which wasn’t appreciated by his parents) and stand her ground.

However, said ‘happiest brat mantra,’ she knows exactly how to make it curve him for her benefit.

When he’s left to babysit her, she flashes him her biggest set of puppy eyes to make him play with her; his parents have come home god knows how many times to him with a table cloth draped over his back, playing Horsies- she does it more when Midoriya is the horse, because he can’t say no to her either, but anytime she says “Zuku-ni would do it” to Katsuki, he immediately drops on his hands and knees with a snarl on his mouth. Like hell he’s gonna let Midoriya win her heart like that.

And listen, the kid is cute, and she’s got that classic Bakugou charm. She knows how to work it! But Katsuki can’t help the absolute rage down his spine when she’s got her tiny arms curled around Kirishima’s thick neck and they tease him about when they’re gonna get married because yeah, of course, she wants to marry his friends, because why can’t she be disgusted by them like he is?

(”Yeah, bakubro, you’re cool being my best man for it, right?”

“I’d rather skin you alive and drape you over my banister before I let you come near her with a ring pop, do not test me-”)

But obviously, no matter what, for Kaida’s happiness, Katsuki is willing to move boulders, move mountains, part seas, and swallow the stars if it meant she would smile for him.

So, when he gets taken by the LOV, it’s wild how much Kaida deflates. Mitsuki catches her, more times than not, curled up on his bed to sleep for her nap, and at nighttime, she stares longingly outside of her window to wait for him. They try to be gentle and explain that he’ll be back soon, but she doesn’t believe them, she wants to see it with her own eyes.

They put her back to bed, but she’s up a few hours later, perched at her window and whimpering softly. They try to keep her in their bed, but all she does is ask questions about Katsuki until the early hours of the morning, things they don’t always know the answer to.

Those were the longest days of her little life, and when they finally get the call that he’s alright, he’s alive, it’s an extremely tearful reunion. And Katsuki, the hellion and wall of impenetrable rage, screws his eyes shut to fight the stabbing of tears that want to fall into her hair.

Kaida absolutely refuses to let him out of her sight after that.

The entire time they’re talking to the school, her big, crimson eyes are blinking up at him, tiny fingers curled in his shirt collar. Completely unfazed by the snapping between her parents and brother, she just. Stares. She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t frown, she doesn’t pout. It’s just a simple, blank face with all her emotions and relief in her eyes.

Even after the whole ordeal, there’s a part of Kaida that treasures Katsuki (somehow) even more. Anytime he’s home, she’s clinging to him, be it physically by dangling to his back and legs, or simply being in the same room with him: next to him at the dinner table, sleeping on his bed while he’s at his desk, playing with his fingers while he watches tv.

He’d be annoyed by it if she wasn’t so cute.

If he didn’t miss her almost as much as she missed him.

It’s different when he’s away at school and can call her whenever he wants; he hates how much he loves the little snot.

Even now, curled into his side and sucking her thumb while they watch TV, Katsuki knows that if he gets up to merely pee, she’s gonna follow him and sit on the outside of the door, talking to him under the door. (The first time Deku saw that in action, he cooed audibly, and Katsuki nearly ran out of the can with his pants undone to blow him to shit.) and he’d never be able to complain about it.

Sometimes, he can’t help but putting off whatever it is he needs to do, to keep her comfy.

It’s what big brothers do.

“Katsu-ni?” She hums around her thumb. Big eyes look up at him, and he scratched her hair gently.

“What’s up?”

She pauses, as if trying to find the words, her tiny brows furrowed in thought. Then, she speaks, words warbled from the digit in her mouth.

“You think mumma gon’ notice if I go back ta’ school wiff you? In your back-packie?”

He snorts and tightens his arm around her, burrowing his face in her hair to hide the sound. She squeals and bats him away affectionately, completely crawling in his lap when she deems he’s too far from her.

“I think she might, stink.”

Kaida pouts and thunks her head against his chest, the fingers of her free hand fisting his collar. “Do ya have to go…?”

“You know I do,” he grumbles, hooking a lock of hair behind her ear, once again burying his face in her hair. The only noise for a moment comes from the TV, and he focuses on the rhythmic breathing from his little brat.

“You don’t have to think about that for a few more days,” he says, planting a kiss to her head and choosing to fight the way his eyes water when she sniffles softly. “You can use me as a jungle gym for a few more days.”

This, has her giggling, and he angles his head up at the ceiling because this is always the hardest part about being home, especially since he was kidnapped.

“I don’t like when you leave, Katsu-ni,” she mumbles.

“I know, baby.”

“Make me miss you…”

“I know- you know I miss you too.”

“Wish you didn’t have to keep goin’ ‘way…”

He swallows again.

“I know.”

[colection-of-chaos]

TW: brief misgendering ; abuse of costumerservice wroker

Genreuary 2025 Day 2 Urban Fantasy

Sir, we do not Sell souls

"Sir we do not sell souls here" the barista had a hard time not letting on how irritated they were. Ime could tolerate a lot. They had made thirteen blood Lattes in the last three hours. Their friendly mask hadn't slipped when one of the stone old vampires, that they had never seen before, had started flirting with them. Was it flirting if someone tries to charm you into being their living blood bag with maybe some benefits? They hadn't snapped at the Fae had tolled them their frappe wasn't sweet enough and had stared threatening them, Ime had just waited and them reminded them if the rules of hostility. 

All that just to say that Ime was probably one of the most tolerant human being in this whole city. Now how ever they where rather close to loosing it.

To be totally honest, demons were one of the few species the barista had a hard time handling, they unsettled Ime like nobody else. And they had a good reason to. Ime had lost enough to them to justify just a little prejudice, even in the one job that had taken them, one that they had known would cost them a lot of nerves. 

Usually despite their dislike for most demons Ime was perfectly capable of handling them with all the necessary politeness. The specific specimen that was now standing in front of their counter though, was really testing their patience.

"I don't want a complete one, just a little piece to go with my Latte" the demons once again insisted.

Ime was ready to scream, but they didn't, they just took a deep breath and repeated themself.

"I'm sorry sir but we don't sell things that can't be replaced and aren't given with full consents. No matter what species it is from." Why could this horned fool not take a no for an answer, this wasn't even about their own dislike for dealing souls, or other bindings to demons, this was company policy. One of the few reasons Ime had actually gotten themself to take the job, despite the risks and contact with so much more powerful beings, that and the fact that they really needed the money. 

"Than you could give a little of yours. Seeing as I am a paying costumed." That was it that was the point where Ime would explode. What right had this thing to request a piece of their soul as a Snack!? Dam the consequences, no matter the fact that demons had a lot more power than they did, Ime was ready to risk getting torn to shreds. 

"Is there a problem?" A smith voice asked. Forcing Ime back into their body. The demon raised his look to the person now towering behind the barista, who had been so close to try ripping his thought out with their very human hands. 

The person that had stopped an escalation from happening was Gael, a tall buff woman, that could be a bouncer ant any Club, even the wildest magic ones, and be respected. Sometimes she looked slightly out of place in her apron and a look that would scare away any costumed from being mean to her whiles still being friendly smile. A impression, that went away immediately when witnessing her interact any one of the children of her pack. No matter if a niece, one of her outrageous amount of younger Siblings or one of her younger Cousins; Gael seemed to immediately melt, become the image of a warm older sister. The werewolf woman was also one of the kindest people Ime had ever met, it took a bit to uncover that side of her, under her general cool and scary exterior, but after some time they had gotten to witness Gael's warm side. 

All in all Gale was probably one of Ime's favorite people. The both of them weren't really friends but they got along. 

In a way Ime trusted her. Which was a lot for them, they had stared to get rather weary of everyone, scared of getting tricked into a Deal with some sort of magical being, that they couldn't escape.

"He" Ime winced at that "doesn't want to do his job." The demons in front of them accused. 

"I didn't ask you I asked them, Sir" Gael put an emphasis on the them, it was nearly aggressive, it didn't feel as if the werewolf was directing it at Ime though. 

The demon seemed dumbfounded for a moment, likely surprised by Gael's confrontational manner. 

Ime used that moment to answer their colleges question. 

"He is demanding being served a piece of soul, even after I repeatedly told him we don't serve that" Ime has a hard time not to Sound both pressed from keeping their anger in and helpless from the demons misgendering. 

They have turned slightly and lifted their head to be able to see at least parts of Gael instead standing to her with their back. That has nothing to do with Gael herself and more their need to be polite, but also not tun their back on the demon. 

Thanks to that need though, Ime couldn't quite make put what expression the werewolf face shifted to after hearing their side. Just that it was promising nothing good.

"We indeed don't." Gaels voice had gotten deeper, Ime could practicably hear covered up growl in it. 

If it wasn’t such a bad time, and the person Gael was close to growling at wasn't a costumed, Ime would have found that kind of endearing. 

"Please leave sir." The growing had left but Gaels voice was Stern, cold even offering no opening for discussion. 

For a while there was an loved silence then Ime could hear the demon mumbling about disrespect and inability of staff to be polite nowadays, when they looked back in the demons direction the saw him leave, thankfully. 

Ime really wanted to thank Gael, but next impatient costumed stood now in front of them and Gael had to attend to a row of her own, even if not before clapping Ime reassuringly on the shoulder.

Ime would thank her later, maybe even ask her to get something to eat as thanks. Maybe ask just why the werewolf had helped them in the first place. 

Now though, they had still two hours of shift left.

Note

Hi, I noticed going to the list of @thepromptfoundry that there is a surprising list of generes I a) don't know what they mean exactly b) don't know how to write and/or c) don't really have the energy to research enough to do it justice

I still was really interested and wanted to take up the challenge without making myself any pressure of completing it. I haven't gotten to a lot of it at the moment it's like five, and it is probably not getting a lot more before end of the month, maybe after I'm going to write a little more.

I would be happy about feed back!

[sbk-zgvlt]

Ok. Here me out. Sebek in Octinavelle. It’s canon that if Sebek had to choose any other dorm to be in, he’d choose Octinavelle on the basis of picking up more people skills for Malleus’ political benefit. Think about it. Sebek, uptight and an adamant rule follower whose not that great with hidden meanings and the like, being stuck with Azul and the Tweels, arguably the sleaziest sons of bitches on campus. It’d be the FUNNIEST shit on this earth bro.

Sebek working in the lounge (playing WAITER of all things; it’s priceless seeing Azul begging Sebek to not accidentally scare the customers off), Azul trying his HARDEST to instill some business sense into Sebek and get him to pick up some habits worthy of a member of Octinavelle (It’s not working) (Sebek has no fucking clue how to do the whole bargaining thing, he’s incapable of lying)

Sebek and the Tweels interacting?? PLEASE. Jade just likes messing with him. Floyd likes to mess with him as well (he says outta pocket shit to try and rule Sebek up) (It works.) They’ve actually gotten to the point of physical altercation because Floyd was still trying to figure Sebek out and didn’t know WHEN exactly to stop pushing so hard.

I'll be honest I thought he would choose Octavinelle because there's a chance that salmon could be there/hj

BUT OH MY GODDDDDD SEBEK GET OUT OF THERE OCTAVINELLE ARE DRAMATIC AND FEEL THE NEED TO USE CRYPTIC FUCKING RIDDLES DURING DAY TO DAY SPEECH YOUR AUTISTIC LOOKS WILL NOT CAPTIVATE THEM

Just imagining Azul trying to get Sebek to understand business lingo but failing immediately. "Sebek, don't bother boiling the ocean." "???? IM RE-ORGANIZING THESE FILES. WHERE DOES THE OCEAN COME IN."

Sebek scared off the customers at first but the first brave student who decided to give him a shot quickly found out that Sebek...is not fit for social interactions. He asked him what he'd recommend from the menu and Sebek covered his face with it while groaning in pain. They felt so bad for him they took the notepad from him and wrote down their order instead 😭

Azul never made him play waiter ever again

They realized he was incapable of lying when Floyd suddenly ran up to him and told him to not tell Azul where he was or else he'll squeeze him. He hid in a closet. Azul rounded the corner and asks Sebek in an impatient tone where Floyd was. Sebek asked him who Floyd was.

...Floyd was too shocked with how BAD Sebek was at lying he didnt bother going through with his threat

THEY DEFINITELY FOUGHT 😭😭😭 Floyd finds it fun that they have their own prominent freshman of the dorm! Sure, there are other freshmen, but theyre....eh. Nothing too special. Sebek on the other hand BAWLED when he was assigned to Octavinelle and tried to sleep in the courtyard of Diasomnia (It was too cold) (He returned to Octavinelle). This kid is FUCKED UP Floyd wants to shake him around.

Jade meanwhile wants to observe him in a fucking petri dish. Constantly compares Sebek's crocodile form to his, Floyd's and Azul's. Wonders out loud who would win in a fight between a crocodile, octupus, and an eel. Sebek isnt entirely too picky about food because anything better than Lilia's is a GODSEND, so he's the perfect test subject for all of Jade's dishes. Sebek is clueless to how far his mushroom obsession can go.

Azul has to take care of the tweels AND Sebek. He has to make sure that Sebek doesnt get into a fight with another Octavinelle member because Sebek didnt pick up on their sarcasm, tries to jump into any and every body of water, and let his temper get the best of him when the tweels mess around with him.

[evilcokito]

How’s Angel Sam going Coco~

HEHEHEHEH look it was brain- rotting in my head for awhile so like might as well share it with you here.

Angel Sam who’s burnt up his beautiful wings just for a chance to touch you with his own hands. He fell quite literally just for you, isn’t that just so romantic of him?

But he’s well aware he can’t freeload off your kindness forever… Sam hates seeing you so stressed over finance, so he gets a part-time job to help you out, and elevate your worries, even just by a bit.

He doesn’t tell you about it, though. The most you got out of him was a chuckle, and a light peck on your cheek as Sam tells you not to worry about it~ Let your angel keep some of his secrets, hm?

Imagine your surprise when you see him behind the counter of your local bar, dressed in an ebony black suit, sleeves rolled up till his elbows. Sam blinks at you in mild surprise, as he grins mischievously. Well, well. A guardian angel and his beloved meet in a bar… this sounds like a beginning of a joke.

Either way, he beckons you over. Telling you to pull up a seat right in front of him, as Sam busies himself making a personalised cocktail just for you. Sam puts on a show, twisting and tossing the cocktail mixer. His heart just leaps a beat whenever you gaze meets him, admiration in your eyes. Those hands of his were truly magic, juggling the metallic container with practised ease.

Once he pours it out for you, you’re transfixed by the way it seems like liquid mist, purple trendies curling through the drink. Dancing seductively within the glass. You hold it up to the light, only to notice the purple was the exact same shade as his eyes.

The same pair of eyes that were staring at you softly, affection apparent within his gaze. The gentle sort of affection that would benefit a lover. So filled with love.

He nudges the cup closer to your lips. It’s a special service, y’know? A personalised cocktail, just for you. Sam tried his best to make it something you’ll like, so take a sip already, hm?

It’s just for you.

He’s just for you.

You have no idea of ​​the magnitude of what you just caused. I went from 100% to 1000%. Totally insane right now. Completely.

LORD HAVE MERCY.

WHAT HAPPENED??? YOU LOST YOUR KITSUNE CATER SO YOU HAVE TIME TO COME ATTACK ME?? LET'S SEE IF YOU TIE THAT FOX BETTER!!!??? HOLY SHIT- WHAT'S HAPPENING??? THOSE RED ROPES WERE NOT STRONG ENOUGH OR WHAT??!!

CERU I READ THIS MANY TIMES IN THE DAY, THE STUPID DOVE - FRIED THE WINGS. HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY BUT IM IN A STATE OF CONSTANT SHOCK EVERY TIME READ THAT- FIND SAM IN A BAR? THE BARTENDER ANGEL?! COULD THE GUY BE MORE PERFECT??? NO- CAN'T!!!?? DAMN PIGEON, HATE IT!!

You walk into a bar -> totally me.

AN ANGEL IN A BAR??? WITH SUIT ROLLED UP SLEEVES MY LORD HAVE MERCY DON'T MAKE ME SIN IS GOD TESTING?? SENDING A SENSUAL DOVE OR WHAT???

My brain runs, imagine the "human" Sam, his shadow projects his wings even though he no longer has them. What kind of abilities will the angels have beyond human understanding??? Altering destiny could prevent something from happening since you are quite careless. Well angels don't have that much control unless they are rebellious, fallen, wingless angels.

Mhh? talk too much?

Screamed and cried a lot but you know me, can't help it.

[spiders-notagain]

Vulcan Education

I haven't seen much else on what Vulcan Schools are suppossed to look like so I came up with my own. Intermixed are some bits I like from Memory Beta. Im ignoring all the parts from 20 yrs and after because it may only be applicable to the Lyr Zor clan and isnt compatible with Alpha canon anyway.

kan-tuihal-shi'oren (Nursery School): Ages 3-5

Its not a necessary prerequisite for primary school but many parents consider it to be important in the schooling process anyway. Benefits include the fundamentals in most every subject for primary school, peer socialization, and a variety of new ideas (er well vulcan-filtered ideas). A bigger emphasis is made on the arts in this school than in later schools. Students learn and perform dances for their parents and community.

Vulcan toddlers are capable of a great deal of self sufficiency when well taught, however not all parents have the time to cover all the basics and can't afford the multiple tutors some clans spring for (or just choose not to).

Newborn children til the age of four were known to take part in visual mathematics, basical calculation as well as beginning the neurological organization of their brains which was followed by an identity meld. By the time they were four, they began mathematics and species identification as well as began to coordinate the use of their physical bodies. Furthermore, algebra, geometry and physics dominated their study life at this time.

During their early education, Vulcan children took part in a curriculum where they learnt the most rudimentary telesper skills to better control their innate telepathic abilities.

nenik-shi'oren (Primary School): Ages 6-14

Schooling is largely made up of lectures and frequent homework, intermixed with regular progress testing via skill domes. Skill domes also serve a part in final exams. With the exception of certain classes, in-classwork is rare. Schoolwork is done mostly through padds. It's more reminiscent of a college with a few differences: 1. Youre not allowed to skip lectures 2. More classes are required as per graduation. In some classes, resources are provided and learning is mostly self directed. There are multiple education paths that come more into play by graduation but primary school is generally understood to be non-specific. By the graduation of this school, children would have the education equivalent up to 14th grade. Classes are separated by skill level rather than age, although most classes happen to be made up of children around the same age anyway. Many 'fun' events (like crafts or holiday parties) that would be common in schools of other species do not exist in vulcan schools. Although some teachers of alien cultures include a sampler of such activities in their lesson plans. Because they are young, children are permitted frequent mental breaks as a sort of vulcan pomodoro technique to increase productivity. As they get older they will be expected to train their mind to do this naturally.

While most schools go over the basics of psychic training, the bulk of it is expected to be handled by family. Usually by a parent but some clans have someone who specializes in it. This is also the kind of thing some families get a tutor for.

An informal social heirarchy forms between students as they hit certain milestones, with these students being admired as older and more mature. At 7, their kan-telan (bonding ceremony). And at 10, their kahs-wan. The latter being more important and noticable. (The kahs-wan can be taken as early as 7 but not often)

When they were eight, children began preliminary telepathic communication and were taught etiquette as well as their clans history along with Vulcan anthropology, calculus and quantum physics. When the child was ten, they learn to suppress cortical stimuli in the dominant hemisphere as well as learn of their races cultural history and began a study of Vulcan rites of passage. By the time they were eleven, they learn of the pressure points needed for mind melding in addition to learning memory accuracy and internal time counting. Furthermore, they were introduced to logic and definition, the principles of analysis, concreteness of thought and physical deportment. These early years of study were expected to continue til the child was between the age of thirteen to fifteen after which their formal training began.

dahrik-shi'oren (Secondary School): Ages 14-20+

Schools at this stage are often specialized and considered precursors to advanced academies such as:

Vulcan Science Academy (VSA)

Vulcan Medical Institute

Vulcan Institute of Defense Arts (VIDA)

Vulcan School of Diplomacy

Studies here aren't as fast paced and ruthless as full colleges. And unlike primary school they have no government standard learning criteria to meet. Most students would be either in the direct midst of puberty or finishing out its second stages. In some areas they have just one school which contains the pathways necessary for whichever trade schools are popular in the region (more like a skills center).

In more isolated areas this is where students would have either moved to the city to pursue higher education or found a job locally to help out at home (likely picking up an apprenticeship).

For those that choose to take it, the Rite of Taloth is commonly undergone around this time. While it is an acknowledged accomplishment among peers, a social heiarchy is not formed around it as that is now viewed as childish.

When formal training began, the first rite conducted was Tal T'Lee where they were assisted in their meditation by an adept of their clan council. They learn to control their subdominant cortices which was followed by Dwemish Hi-An where identity isolation was learnt along with brain control with numbers systems and equations. They also learn multiplication left to right whereupon they took part in Enok-Kal Fi Lar which was the processes of definition and the concepts of given. Once this was complete, the child took part in An-Prele between the age of sixteen to nineteen where they learn pain control meditation from a clan council adept. They were also expected to read Essays of Discipline and Analysis of Pseudodoxy as well as was expected to learn to segregate the lobes of their brains.

*I came up with the names through stuff on VLD and VLI but if anyone wants to consolidate it to sound catchier go ahead.

[taysdorothea13]

this is so far fetch but wrenny 100% took IB in highschool and would cry to tay bc she absolutely hates math and she chose the hardest HL’s since she’s just an overachiever like that (im taking IB and wanna bang my head into a wall rn)

babe, i don’t know what either of those classes are 😭 wrenny was taking ‘high school’ classes at eleven years old though. the program taylor has her enrolled in is based off of readiness, not so much typical age brackets. for a long time she was in higher level english/arts courses and below average math and science courses. reading was an escape when she lived with the tilghmans, she taught herself how to read (with the help of a lovely librarian. timothy and adriana would drop her off at the local library and tell her if anyone asked they would be right back… they were never right back. so the librarian would read to her and eventually she picked it up) at four years old and it just flourished from there. but she was only in kindergarten for a couple of months before adriana pulled her out so while she could continue reading at home, there was no exposure to math and science. it took her a handful of years to really grasp the concept of math, but once she did, oh god did she flourish. she finishes a standard lesson in twenty minutes, and she won’t stop until the assignment is entirely completed. by the time she’s nine, she’s taking ‘middle school’ classes. she’s always been an overachiever and she also knows that if she finishes all of her work, then she doesn’t have to worry about anything else and just gets to hang out with taylor until the next week starts and she has more lessons and homework.

the program taylor has her enrolled in is a weekly course. students are assigned 10 lessons and 6 homework assignments, usually with a test at the end of every week that broadly covers every topic introduced. they can do these assignments any time between monday and friday, and if they finish early, there needs to be a parent there to consent to the next weeks assignments being rolled out, if that makes sense. a lot of the time wren finishes everything by tuesday. there’s not much for her to do when they’re traveling, especially during the eras tour when it’s long flights and even longer car rides, so she’ll have taylor log into the program and sign off on the next weeks assignments being published for her to do. at that pace, with her finishing at least two weeks of assignments every week, she’s on track to end her school year months before anyone else. sometimes (like right now when they’re in whitesboro) she does just take the break, but sometimes she asks if she can start the next school years assignments. the program requires at least two weeks off at the end of a term, so she’s always getting a chance to rest her body/mind, but taylor doesn’t see the harm in letting her go wild with assignments. there’s a very delicate line between encouraging your kid to strive for an education, but teaching them how to take a break for their own benefit and health. wren is just a weird kid who genuinely likes the routine of schoolwork. it’s one of the only things that doesn’t change in her day to day life. she could be on a plane, in a car, at the studio with jack, on stage with taylor, and she knows that she has 10 assignments, 6 homework assignments, and 1 test to complete. it’s honestly really grounding when everything else feels so far out of her control, but that’s not to say she doesn’t complain.

wren absolutely HATES world history. there’s just something about it that she cannot grasp. maybe it’s the fact that in a way it’s combining both english and math, but that’s the class where she isn’t any different then a regular kid getting frustrated with homework. she can memorize a million songs, a million different dances and sound cues, but it’s like her mind goes blank when you ask her to name every war that ever occured in south america with a comprehensive list of the cause, years, major events, and end result. to date world history is the only class she’s never gotten an a in, and boy did she take that hit hard. she sobbed to taylor for two hours about how she just doesn’t know how people memorize all of this, and taylor had to remind her time and time again that some people just have different strengths, and nobody is ever going to come up and quiz her on the 1810 argentine war of independence. wren literally got a b+ in the class, like she’s crying for no reason, but she values her grades because it’s the only thing she has. some kids are in dance and they have trophies, some kids are in soccer and they have plaques and medals, all wren does is follow taylor and do her school work (that’s entirely her choice. taylor literally tried to sign her up for dance classes at the studio james goes to and she outright refused to even try one lesson) so she takes it hard when she ‘fails’. but yeah, wrenny and world history are public enemies and she’s beyond glad that after she completed it there was never any obligation to take it again lol

[windvexer]

Hey, Chicken! Hope you don't mind this ask, as I'm not sure if you know much about this topic (I don't remember seeing you mention it before), but I was just wondering if you have any advice on using a pendulum for divination? I've been told something about "micro movements" affecting the accuracy of readings, but I'm unsure if this is an actual thing that happens or not, and it makes me nervous that my readings are super inaccurate (I don't have a pendulum stand, unfortunately). If you don't have any advice or opinions or whatnot, no worries! Thank you for taking the time to read through my ask regardless. Take care! 🐔

Hi!

I'm not the biggest pendulum reader. For years I couldn't get any level of accuracy out of them. However, in recent years, I've made decent progress.

Idk about the micromovements thing. I don't worry about them. I'm assuming a micromovement is like... tiny little jiggles?

IME, pendulum readings shouldn't be tiny little jiggles. They should be big, active movements.

When it comes to accuracy, we have some problems and some solutions.

Not all divinatory tools can measure the same things, first of all.

If I asked you, right now, to use tarot to determine the charge level and activity status of an enchanted spell vessel, could you do it?

Perhaps! I have no reason to doubt you.

But, like me, perhaps you would need to create a custom oracle system within tarot before you could do such a thing. Because tarot, in and of itself, is not an excellent system for determining the power levels within magical objects.

Now, if I asked you to do the same thing with a pendulum, could you?

Of course you could. That's, like, pendulum 101. That's what a pendulum does, baby!

You just hover that bad boy over an enchanted spell vessel and if it makes a biggo circle, the thing is charged up; but if it makes a small circle, or only does these micromovements you speak of, it's not charged at all.

Using a pendulum, you can obtain in seconds what you'd have to spend hours doing with a tarot deck.

And vice-versa!

Try using a pendulum to obtain a guidance message from a spirit. So tedious.

What this demonstrates (I hope) is that if you apply a pendulum to the incorrect ends, it will be very difficult to wrangle answers from. You can use a power drill to saw through a board, certainly; but the results will be tedious to obtain and awful to behold.

The benefits I've found is that the pendulum makes absolute ease of certain magical needs, but you've got to know what it can do and what it can't do; and if you need it to do something it can't do, you need to be prepared to develop your own custom systems of divination to attach to the pendulum, much like one downloads workshop mods to modify a computer game.

Yes, do confirm with the pendulum what direction is "yes" or "no," either through asking or telling.

Confirm whether or not your readings are accurate by reading on verifiable things. If you would like a test, make a pendulum board like this one (same link as before), and have friends send you photos of objects enchanted with the same categories of energy as your board contains. Use your pendulum to determine the types of enchantment contained therein.

If you are anything like me, you'll find that pendulums are excellent at detecting energies, but quite poor at producing sentences and paragraphs like tarot can.

I think of the pendulum as more of a gauge, or meter. It can be activated on a scale of "barely" to "very," and move in either the direction of "this" or "that."

I have never bothered with using a pendulum over a spirit board to slowly spell out answers, when you can draw two tarot cards and get a few sentences at once.

Likewise, why bother with tarot, or casting lots, or energy readings, when you can hold up a pendulum and get a quick, accurate reading of the properties of some object or person, or whatever?

So I'm definitely rambling, but my biggest tip to you, is:

Figure out for yourself what domains are easily read when you and pendulum work together, and strive to discover, modify, or create systems of meaning which make sense for the both of you, and allow the both of you to work as a team to discover certain answers.

Do not see the pendulum as interchangeable with any other system of divination. See it as a skill, in and of itself.

You may find much greater success reading on things which you can interact with, such as objects and photos, as opposed to hypotheticals, such as predicted futures.

[littlerune]

is this a safe space to ramble about my headcanons for andruil & ghilan'nain

i think it's boring if all the evanuris are just evil for the sake of evil, so in my headcanon, andruil is basically just a bored nepo baby. she doesn't actively participate in the blood magic, slavery, etc. but she does benefit from it by virtue of being the daughter of the most powerful people in the world. (or rather she does participate a bit but it's more like, "well, this is just what everyone does/how society works :/" rather than "rahh im so evil and greedy and i love to hurt people etc".) she's that rich kid who never got a job and spends her entire life travelling the world while ignoring the atrocities of her father. she hunts bigger and badder quarry to keep her mind off how bad everything around her is (and, more importantly, that she could try to do something about it but only at the risk of her cozy lifestyle.) hunting is the one thing she excels in, so it's the one thing she takes pride and joy in.

at first, ghilan'nain isn't the absolute monster she is in veilguard. she was just a brilliant scientist who maybe did a few kinda fucked up things, but nothing to the extent of what we see in horrors of hormak. she's just like "science brings progress, and sometimes we must do bad things to make progress happen." she definitely supports animal testing. andruil falls for her because she's sorta everything andruil is not (self-made, engineering, innovative). "look at my hot smart scientist girlfriend isn't she amazing 🥺" andruil introduced her to elgar'nan, and elgar'nan saw the potential in ghilan'nain. the evanuris elevated her in society because they saw the crazy shit she could make and wanted it for themselves, and this opened massive new doors for the kind of crazy (horrible) shit ghilan'nain could do.

i have two divergent paths i could see their relationship going. when ghilan'nain heard andruil was hunting in the void, she encouraged her to go further to see what kind of whacked out shit andruil could find for her experiments. wanting to appease her girlfriend, andruil went so far as to discover the blight and brought it back to thedas (or maybe ghilan'nain was part of creating the "armor of the void" that ultimately drove andruil crazy??)

alternately, seeing her girlfriend become the same kind of political monster as the rest of the evanuris, andruil fell into a depression and used hunting in the void as her manner of escapism, which ultimately results in unleashing the blight.

additional random headcanons about andruil (i think about her a lot): she was the first "born" of the evanuris (i.e., not a spirit creating a body for themselves) and because of this, she was a weaker mage than the rest. as such, she took up the bow and became a skilled archer. elgar'nan is deeply disappointed in her, seeing her as a failure. this makes the blow even heavier when he accepts ghilan'nain to the evanuris, because he likes her more than his own daughter.