#like. im not taking the test for my OWN benefit

[bananonbinary]

just spent 50 DOLLARS on 5 whole covid tests for the family to take (we have immunocompromised friends and don't take any chances with them)

this is a fucking travesty

[drdemonprince]

Hello! You have opened a fascinating door into kink communities I didn't even know existed. Thanks for that. I was describing some of your steamworks adventures to my partner, who works as a Disease Intervention Specialist (aka DIS, a government healthcare worker who administers free/low-cost STD testing and then attempts to track down and notify+test the recent sexual partners of any infected individuals). (He brings some INSANE stories home from work and gets to give sex ed talks at the local Christian college using a model penis that actually ejaculates--but I digress.) He was horrified by the hypothetical situation where an infected person could have blindfolded sex with an unknown number of nameless strangers. It's hard enough trying to track down partners when the patient only knew them by their Grindr username. How do you have safe sex in these situations? Some STDs can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact even with a condom. Do venues like steamworks enforce any rules around testing/protection/etc.?

If your partner is 'horrified' by the actual sex lives of the populations he ostensibly serves I think he needs to read more from harm reductionist thinkers and queer activists from a variety of past eras and work on processing his feelings of judgement to ensure it doesn't impact his actions in that line of work.

The books and Melancholia and Moralism, Saving Our Own Lives, and Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality are good places to start.

If you're having anonymous or blindfolded sex in cruising spaces, one route of managing risks is to assume that every person there could be infected with STIs you do not have and to plan accordingly. Vaccines, condoms, PreP, testing, and education are just some of the tools at one's disposal, and one should always be cognizant of the risks that one is consenting to. Steamworks has sexual health educators and testers present within their space regularly, but they don't gatekeep based on serostatus, health status, drug regimen or use of protection -- doing so wouldn't be feasible and would be problematic on multiple grounds.

I don't believe the goal of a public health initiative or a life well lived is to eliminate all risk, or to regard the presence of any infection in any human body as unacceptable, but rather to empower people to make informed decisions about the level of risk they are comfortable confronting, or that is worth the numerous benefits to them.

Personally, I was in far greater danger when I didn't have access to such spaces. Cruising spaces make negotiating sexual consent far safer than privately dating and hooking up with someone, and Steamworks are vitally important queer community spaces, and for me are well worth the trade off. No one should have any illusions about this ever being an experience that they can eliminate all risk from, rather they should anticipate it and plan for it.

I think "safe sex" is an unhelpful framework to pursue because it is so binary and can't ever be guaranteed. What does safety mean? Which types of exposures do we consider to be "unsafe"? Am I unsafe if I encounter another person who, like me, has had a cold sore before, like 80% of the population? Or someone who has a strain of HPV I am vaccinated against? What about if I have an encounter with somebody with a cold? I'm "safer" being fucked by an HIV positive person who is undetectable and wearing a condom than I am having barrier free sex with a long term partner who cheats. I can't even know I'm taking a risk in the latter case; at Steamworks, I'm assuming my risk level to be on the high end and planning accordingly.

I understand that testing and tracing are important parts of public health for our populations. It was vitally important when monkeypox broke out. Maybe Steamworks should collect member emails and alert them if there was a reported transmission on a night that they visited. Though even then, there are some negative public health implications to dozens of people panicking. But there is no means of eliminating all risk entirely or tracing all human sexual behavior and I would be myself pretty horrified if there was.

[strwberri-milk]

hi hellooooo if you feel like it could we have another big dick kaeya with "ill make it fit" energy im enamored with how you write it!!!

god i love big dick kaeya so much im so feral for him im glad its not just me on this dark side LMAO

You know Kaeya would never do anything to hurt you. He's always so nice, and considerate, and you know you would trust him with your life. However, this means that Kaeya also is aware of your limits, and is always more than willing to keep you testing your limits for your own benefit.

Kaeya is so sweet. He'll do whatever he can to help you out, talk you through anything you need help with, walk you through it step by step. His patience has always been good, and this is no different.

Even as you lay underneath him, sighing a little in response to Kaeya's faint touches on your skin you know if you earnestly said no, he wouldn't hurt you. His eyes rest on yours, carefully watching to see what you might have to say.

"Are you doing alright?" Kaeya asks, letting you come down from the orgasm he just pulled from your body. He wanted you as prepared as possible, and judging from the wet noises he managed to draw out of you with just his fingers seemed to be all the evidence he needed.

"I-I'm fine," you barely stutter, catching your breath as Kaeya positions your legs to sit on his waist.

"I hope you are. I want to feel you around me."

He nuzzles into your neck as he says the lewd words so sweetly, pressing soft kisses against your throat. You can feel his cock prodding at your thigh, narrowly missing your hole with each slow thrust he makes. He's just grinding against you right now, waiting for you to give him the go ahead.

You nod, Kaeya's excitement palpable as you feel his cock twitch against you. You hear him rub some more lube on himself, sighing softly with pleasure as he runs his palm over his shaft. You appreciate the work he's putting in for you, spreading your legs more and trying to stay relaxed for him.

You look up at him as he puts his hand on the side of your head, readjusting the pillow under your hips to keep you comfortable. He bites his lip at the sound of your breath catching when he starts to press into your hole, somehow getting harder when your hands brace against his chest as you gasp.

"Already? So soon darling," he coos, unshed tears in your eyes exciting him more than it should.

"I'm just nervous. You're so big and I know once you're inside it'll feel so good but I just need to catch my breath."

"Take all the time you want. I don't want to hurt you after all."

The next time he tries he manages to at least pop the tip through, the moan you let out like music to his ears as he tries his best not to cum just from that. No, he needs to fuck you senseless first, just shallowly thrusting into you as you adjust to the feeling of him inside of you.

Just from this, he can see the drooling mess you've become thanks to his cock, kissing you hard to try and distract himself from the burning in his gut.

"It feels so good," you whimper, Kaeya nodding and pressing more kisses against your forehead.

"You're doing so good for me. See? Just a little bit of patience and you'll be taking all of me inside of you like a champ," he praises. You meekly hold him, glad that this time he's waiting a lot longer to fuck you deeper.

Kaeya doesn't press in further until you start rocking your hips back on him, sliding down a little bit more and making him moan. He follows your lead, scolding you gently when you begin shaking your head and writhing in mild discomfort.

"Shh, shh, it'll be okay. You can take me, I know you can. Just let me get in further?"

He stays perfectly still, wishing more than anything he could just ram himself inside of you fully but wanting to make sure that you wanted it to. The way you scratch down his chest makes him see stars, doing his best to keep his hips where they are.

"Please, Kaeya. Just - just fuck me. I'll tell you if it hurts, but I think the wait is making it worse." Your slight begs are tinted with needy whines and that's all it takes for Kaeya to pull out all the progress he's made and sink himself back in balls deep inside of you.

Your back arches sharply, moaning pathetically as the sudden intrusion makes you cum around him again. Thankfully, it relaxes your body further but it's still so incredibly tight around him. Kaeya can't help but start fucking into you almost ruthlessly, moaning right into your ear about how good you feel.

"Fuck your hole's so fucking tight. You're doing so fucking good taking me like this. You like it, don't you? Being ruined by a cock that you can barely fit inside that cute little hole of yours?"

His filthy words don't help at all, clenching even tighter over him as you cry from the overstimulation he's pushing onto your body. You know he's always right, that yes, it might take some time but the second he's fucking you like he means it there's nothing more that you want him to do.

He makes you cum over and over again, and despite your body feel like it's going to melt into the puddle of sweat and cum underneath you you can feel every vein on his length. He's so big, touching every part inside of you that needs to be touched, shooting his load so far inside of you that you can feel it warming up your chest.

You know it's always a good idea to trust Kaeya, and you've never been given a reason to regret that decision.

[hot-astrology]

Unconditional love

Love is distrubuted thought out the world in many ways and sectors. Its the major contribution that helps the world and humanity evolve. It doesn't take no energy, no effort, nor money, to give it to the person you love the most! Now that we are on this topic of Love, love was said to be one of the most strongest and best gifts we have here to connect to one another. Its has been stories of people saving love ones, animals from their death beds, from a hug, someone saying they love them, expressing their concern and love towards that person while they were unconscious and the person woke up from comas, accidents and situations that they shouldn't have made it back home.

With that being said! Its alot of different types of love that people push out. This love type is so magnificent and unappreciated. Yes! Unconditional love! Which many never heard of or displayed it or flat out dont know how to show it. The definition of Unconditional love in my words ( Its when you accepting the flaws, mishaps, misfortunes and shortcomings of another individual. You accept their traits, views, past and future aspirations even when its not aligned with your own beliefs or future goals. When they are sick, ill, feeling bad, not the same and cant be there for you like they use to you still understand their situation and circumstances.

Its when you are married for years, your wife or husband, and they are not looking the same, their appearance start to change, their best features start to deminish. You may have to help them walk, get up, use the the restroom, wash up and eat. So many sacrifices would have to be made in this new transition of life. All the superficial and glam you appreciated about this person would fade away. Your true love will be tested and given opportunities to understand what real love is. Facing their pains, hurts, ups and downs and their dark sides that you never thought you would see.

People tend to only want to give love to people who they see fit with their likings, who they benefit from, like their appearance, give them comfortability, and their status. Now this goes a long way, not only a spose, girlfriend, boyfriend, it also applies to family, friends, strangers, coworkers and humanity in all. When your love is so great and strong and it have no limitations or focus on details or a particular person, thing, object, its powerful. It comes from a whole different part in your essence that everyone cant understand or fantom. You begin to unlock gateways and open portals to a more devine love.

When you are able to understand, and feel for a person unconditionally without judgment its a whole different energy that attracts better outcomes and situations. You work from whole different part of your soul essence then others, you treat that person like you want to be treated and you give things to them without looking for anything in return. Your hands are never out, but your heart is always open give more love and accept whatever is in return and usually not what you put out. The power of love is strong especially when its meaningful, true, authentic, real, and unconditional.

With all this being said and understood, and hopefully overstood, you all need to know that everyone is not here for the same experiences and have the same gifts to show the world. Many people have powerful love to give, as well but just go about it in different ways, so its no wrong or right here. But for the ones im talking about your love nature is one of a kind, its so impeccable, its a force to be reckoning with, exceptional, extraordinary, highly rated, remarkable, and soooo soooo soooo admired! By many and us. You all have a different type of capacity to deal with and understand love and its core level without being benefited from it in most cases.

These picks is our opinions. We came up with 4 that we feel like they are good zodiac signs that carry these attributes and qualities. It can or could be more, but we came up with these 4 from a deeper look inside each zodiacs mind, essence, soul, focus, and love nature. These zodiac signs showed us what we were looking for in this breakdown. So here are the 4 signs that made it to the top chart of our unconditional love series.

Leo

This fire sign brings nothing but loyalty, protection and love to the house hold. They are firm believers of powerful love and how you give it will impact your family or pack. They can be extraordinary, exaggerate and flamboyant but never false about their love for their love ones or whoever is around them. They will shower you with gifts, love, affection and charismatic finesse. Even tho they love flashy and extravagant lifestyles, they are never superficial about the love the give and and receive. They do love affection, admiration and validation. Their true nature is to protect, love, secure, appreciate and cherish the ones closest to their hearts. Its nothing they wont do for your love and to keep you happy. This sign is ruled by the heart, which leo represents courage, power, strength and loyalty. They stand up for those around them with their chest out and pride of it, who ever is around them feels their power and shiny presence. Their love runs deep and never stops, they understand what love is because they want it given to them in the same respect, at same time they dont have their hands out to receive anything from you, just want your time and closeness. They will be there at your hardest times, difficult measures and worst hours. They will boost your pride, wake your soul up and make sure you are getting the love and affection you deserve. This love is umatched and so real, you can feel their strong aura giving you the unconditional love your soul and heart needs.

Cancer

Warm, settling, loving, mother energy that warms your soul up at its core. When a person hears the zodiac name cancer they know they are your household name, known for mending the family, keeping everyone happy, making those warm fulfilling meals that touch your bones and soul. They have that motherly instinct and calling. The nuturer as they say, with such a soft heart for others feelings, emotions, and pains they still find a way to help out and provide time, emotional care, and strength to help the person overcome their barriers and life obstacles. Many wonder how can a energy be so soft, emotional and sensitive but yet be so strong and powerful. Hmmmmm that is something to have, thats why by far this is one of the most powerful zodiac signs, they have a unique gift that keeps giving and flourishing the more they be their selves and help humanity. They spose or families would love their hospitality and good warm nature as they prepare supper and a cozy house setting as they relax for the evening. They are there when you are sick, ill, cold, weak, hungry and just tired. The way this sign operates from the heart would have you thinking it rules the heart, but it doesn't. It rules the chest, breast and stomach, well the chest is the protection plate for the heart so i can see that. home is where the heart is, they will touch your heart in ways that cant be described. They will fight for you, speak up for you, and stay down for you. This sign loves hard and love emotional connections, so they will learn your emotions and help you release your own emotions to help you feel better. You can always count on this sign to understand your feelings and have sympathy for your downfall or ins and outs.

Virgo

Can be very critical at times but never let you down, always there to relieve you of your stress and pain. They will go out their ways to make you happy even when it jeopardizes their life or finances. So logical but so nuturing at the same time. Kinda like cancer but with a more analytical approach to the womb that needs healing. Their service oriented skills doesnt shy away from the chaos or obstacles. They are your hard service workers that show gratitude towards helping you. Thats why they are classified as the servers, but not just a server like that, they go beyond and above. They want to help you, heal you, make you better, see you succeed, support you, find your weaknesses, strengths and greatest gifts in you. This a a sign you never want to walk over and disrespect.or never show your appreciation for their services and time. Their hearts and care go a long way, they like that medical nurse thats on the line of duty in the military that has a AK on their shoulder, 9 mm on their hip, while bandaging you up and giving you words of advice and strategies help you on your way so you dont make the same mistakes. When you feel at your lowest and lost they will direct you in correct path. They will love you while still helping correct you. But their love is one of a kind, you will never want with them, they will support you as long as you stay who you are and appreciate they energy they giving you. They are mixed with brain power and nuturing skills which cant be bad at all. They have the healing touch as well, this sign has a unconditional love that operates from a analytical emotional stand point. But you can never lose with this zodiaz sign.

Picses

Now these mutable fishes are very skilled at understanding what happened, how it happened and what will make it better. They come from a ether realm approach to everything. They can feel the room out and see whos hurting or sick, they can touch their grandmothers shoulder and know shes in pain. All they go by is energy and actions, so they read what you do and how you do it more than words. Their presence can invite you and make you feel relaxed and calm. This is a mutable sign so they are more of a free energy that gets pulled and tugged multiple ways. Their energy is very sensitive like a cancer but more on a psychic aspect, they can heal you like a virgo, they can make you feel happy, and prideful like a leo. This sign is our top sign that we think that shows the most unconditional love. Their heart goes a long way without any reciprocation or need for appreciation. They will listen to you, help you, understand you, guide you, support you, acknowledge you. Their soul is free as a bird, if you around them its a no judgement zone and make you feel loved. They have some of the top healing powers, psychic abilities that will help you with sickness, mental health, or just life answers. They are by far one of the best friends to have, wont let you down, always available and want to see you reach your highest potential. You can feel their love and energy radiating from them. They love universally and look at all things as in 1 and all. When you around this type of energy you have no choice but to do right, prosper and succeed. They say picses have a god complex, well i dont think its them being that way, its more of them being the last zodiac sign, and impacted with all the other signs energies so they feel they experienced or have the capabilities as the other signs. Which may be truth, this sign is so powerful and use their love, intuition, and optimistic skills to navigate through this realm and help those around them to a better place in life. Once a picses touch your soul and heart you wont be the same, they make you look at life with a different view ( rose-colored glasses ) but sooner than later those glasses will be removed but over the time and mentality change and appreciation of the world and others as they are you will take them off and still create the world you want, and need to make your experience the best. These individuals will show you love and what it is to love someone without only looking on the outside. They dont judge you for what you lack, or what you did to them, for what lies you told and how you keep being the old same you, but they are there until you finally change or give in since they are so optimistic. The love is great, wonderful and abundant and sooooo joyful and unconditional with that you get swept away in their current and float in their cloud of Unconditional love and bliss.

[quixtrix]

let's talk BL manga lore; on grooming, identity, and racism

spoilers for the official captain laserhawk bl manga ofc, plus brief discussion of grooming I've refrained from speaking about it because of spoilers, but it's been well over a month and I believe that it's time to openly discuss it. if you would still like to read the manga before reading this discussion, here's the link to buy a physical copy and you can search up 'Captain Laserhawk: Crushing Love' in your digital book store for it. okay time to talk about two, basically three subjects; racism, identity, and grooming. i'm starting with the grooming first, because that's the main focus of this manga. i would have to preface this by saying i've already discussed this topic in an earlier post (albeit it is a prediction, but it is a spot on prediction.) i'll briefly elaborate on it right now with what we know.

dolph's very first day with alex was carefully calculated to where dolph would be exposed to the world, but heavily rely on alex. he is shown around to alex's friends and is able to buy his own clothes, but it is under the heavy scrutiny of alex. alex ultimately decides what dolph wears, alex decides how the day goes, alex leads dolph. even when they have a beach day, take note of how alex holds dolph, dragging him around.

even the romance and the events leading up to when alex takes dolph's virginity are calculated. note how alex grasps dolph's hand, grabbing on tight enough to almost press down on his knuckles, loosening his hand, making dolph relinquish control. the context for the fight page is that after their sweet lil beach day, alex takes dolph down an alley where alex knows that he'll come across people who aren't the fondest of him. this event was calculated, alex knew it was going to happen, and he used it to test out his new lil boytoy.

also, alex taking dolph out to fight isn't just so he can get in the pants of a barely 18 year old. while holloway notes during this flashback that adrenaline is the greatest aphrodisiac, this is a test to see how good the new weapon he picked up is. how the new boy works, to see how eden's boy robot can benefit his group, not just him. its literally in the morning panels we get where alex talks with that woman, anna. they're talking about how loaded he is with tech, and while alex does consider that, he still actively thirsts over dolph.

also im jus saying if i personally was talking with one of my greatest confidants and they refer to someone i'm thirsting over as KID, i would personally be icked out. i would have a conscious and not do some weird shit, like literally refer to dolph in passing as kid in the next page. dolph aint even the first one who alex has done this shit to, as evident by this line by one of his friends, grace.

alex is a groomer and groomed dolph, case closed.

anyways! time to get on with what i really wanted to talk about, how racism and loss of idenity ties into dolph's character!

in this manga, during pillow talk between dolph and alex, we get dolph's backstory. dolph literally has only known this man for a day and he's giving him lore because alex treats him more normal than eden did. god. ANYWAYS ENOUGH DWELLING ON DOLPH BEING A VICTIM IN ALL WAYS INCLUDING BEING ONE OF THE OXFORD STUDY, we get to know about his brief life before eden took him in.

now let me turn for a moment to the show, and how we were told about dolph's backstory. this is VASTLY different than what we got in the show, with it being implied that dolph's parents were a white prostitute and a darkskinned immigrant man. this adds onto the idea that this supposedly impoverished, crack addicted boy came into this world not as an act of love, but as a mistake. not just a mistake though, his parents are supposedly the epitome of immoral, a prostitute and a criminal. not to mention that this also ties into the idea of the uncultured brown man and pure white woman, basically a racist idea that the scary immigrants who aren't like us good white christian americans (and honestly jus any homogenous group in general, though in america its ofc more applicable to white people), are corrupting our mother marys, our women. eden takes on this perspective in order to subconsciously frame in the minds of post american viewers the idea of this man as an other that they are helping and didn't at all snatch up from his mother for child experimentation. the concept of other is something that finds it's origins in fascism, and in order to mask the presence of said fascism, someone who is seen as apart of the other is given a seat at the table with the collective us, (as in the majority, or the ones that are supposedly superior), and will ultimately serve as an example of why the other are labelled as such. i go into this more with my rayman analysis. I brought up the specific portrayal of dolph's backstory from eden's documentary to showcase how eden has manipulated the view people have of this man. eden has not only manipulated the view of the in universe audience, but eden has manipulated our view.

in the propaganda documentary, we are shown photos of this man being a captain, someone of relatively high rank in the military. you can't even normally earn that through having an education, you'd have to have years of experience. he's portrayed as older than he is.

another thing, dolph fans, let's be honest with ourselves; before the manga, it was not uncommon to headcanon that man as a FREAK. with both the supposed images of dolph at a nightclub and the flashback of alex and dolph meeting outside a club, it wasn't too hard to think that the hottest man alive in that show who was fully born human was a freak. a sexual deviant. someone that a christian mother would be horrified enough by that she faints. the manga however, shows us that dolph really isn't any of that. hell, he didn't even get to go to a club before he met alex. in reality, he's around 18 years and his only sexual experience is his groomer.

say that again with me, he's around 18. he's just around 18, he's a young adult, and the environment he's grown up in has stunted him by treating him as a subject, a thing, cutting him off from anything that would humanise this child by not allowing him to see his mother. hell, even his childhood best friend serves eden by being the one in his ear, having him at her beck and call all in the name of eden.

we get none of dolph's true backstory in the show for any number of reasons. maybe it's on purpose, maybe it's a result of having to possibly cut down episodes, who knows? what matters though is that this adds a layer to the core problem defining dolph's life; the perspective others have on him warping who he is.

back to the pages with dolph's memories of his mother, we see dolph as he was when he was just a boy. he's his mama's boy, her son, a child. even when eden takes him in, he stubbornly clings to that bit of him that's pure, untainted by the idea of him being an experiment, a tool. this bit of him, this hint towards who he is supposed to be as a person, is something he clings to desperately. it leads him to follow eden's orders again because they promise that they've found his mother.

and yknow what happened with who dolph was told was supposedly his mother?

she was just a random ass indian woman.

wasn't even the right woman. they just used his identity issues because he's indian, and she was indian and in a cult that eden needed to take care of.

this, while admittedly is kind of funny, (like the confusion is funny in the moment look at ts) is actually fucked up crazy racism. they literally said that this random ass woman who happened to be indian was his mother like HELL!?!??!?!?

this insane fr. lucy didn't even double check LIKE GIRL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND'S MOTHER WHO HE HASNT SEEN SINCE HE WAS LIKE 6 AND YOU DIDNT EVEN DOUBLE CHECK IF SHE'S THE RIGHT PERSON?!?!?!?

moving on from that, this actually brings up a deeper layer of dolph's identity issues; the lack of cultural identity.

i want to preface this by saying that i am not entirely sure if this is the right term for this identity issue nor am i claiming to be an expert on the type of identity crisis that i am about to discuss. that being said, this specific disconnect of cultural identity that dolph has is actually reminiscent of those adopted from other countries, or transnational adoptees. there seems to be a need within these adoptees to find out more about their own heritage or their own mothers and families that they now struggle to find. while dolph does not actively go out to reconnect with his heritage, he does exhibit desires to find his birth mother. this type of identity issue seems to ask the question of 'what could I have been if...?,' and it tends to mess with the idea of the self. adoptees that struggle with this question hold a desire to go back, to almost reclaim what would have been. yes, dolph is not adopted into a family, but he is still a child under the care of eden, which became like his family, which is why i believe that this kind of identity issue could reasonably be applied to dolph. it explains why he does what he does in the manga, and how it's ultimately wrapped up by him losing this desire and moving forward. albeit he moves forward by alex instead becoming his main purpose, but this serves as the first chain of the past that he leaves behind. with this, he severs a tie that would have made him continue to be stuck under eden's control, and possibly find himself. he answers the question of what could have been with 'it doesn't matter anymore.'

but actually, he doesn't answer that question. he leaves it be.

i am reading way too into this tho lol. i would say that he doesn't explicitly say it, and that we do see a lack of dolph's past being used against him in that way because dolph has freed himself from that part, but in reality, it's because eden can't pull the same trick twice. im aware that the manga focuses HARD on dolph's grooming, but i feel like they really could have properly wrapped up dolph's identity arc with his mother if it was acknowledged at the end, but i fear we are left unsatisfied. that's one of my gripes with the manga. it gives us things that tie up loose ends, but some of these ties have entirely missed the holes they were supposed to secure. but what is done is what's done, and here we are.

tl;dr, dolph was groomed by alex. dolph's identity has also been warped by eden heavily, by how they dehumanised him as a child to be a weapon internally, to how he's shown to the public to be a case that they've saved, and yet he still becomes something that is "disgraceful." textbook example of this poor boy that we have saved that is actually jus like all the others that we know. dolph also suffers under similar identity issues as adopted children do, and this specific issue of his is let go in order to allow him to begin moving on and finding himself.

as always, im open to discussion and critique! my askbox is open as well if you want me to yap abt smth else in the show :P

[turtlestm]

i think this art has deeper meanings that no one talks about (banana fish theory)

take this opinion with a grain of salt because im definitely not someone who's been a long-time fan of banana fish therefore im relatively fresh in this fandom. i also havent read the entirety of the manga so take that too. this is just my thoughts on this art from angel eyes

yall ready? okay so here's my take: when ash initially conceptualizes someone who desires him, eiji in this case, he approaches it as if it's sexual rather than emotionally sensual because it's all he's known desire as. the only way he's known desire directed towards him is a sexual desire, one for his body in one way or another. however, when eiji shows his desire for ash, he desires his whole self, inside and out and all the ugly parts, therefore gazing deeply into ash's eyes, his soul.

this also makes me think abt the fact that in the prison scene, ash decided to kiss eiji right on the lips even though he didnt really have to (let's face it, he could've given the note thru a handshake) despite eiji showing no desire for his body prior to this, but he inadvertently showed that he wants to stick by ash's side despite hardly knowing him. ash probably was using that kiss to test the waters in some sort of way, most likely how eiji would respond rather than if he himself would enjoy the kiss.

i don't think ash had fully formed any kind of actual romantic feelings for eiji at that point, but i do think he was trying to convey a genuine trust for eiji when he kissed him back then while eiji didn't seem to really care for kissing ash and only stuck around for him

with this example i mean to say that ash saw the way eiji was treating him and how he showed ash kindness and wanted to test to see if ash's company or whatever is really what eiji wants by kissing him and seeing how eiji would respond. but since eiji doesn't seem to care about ash for any ulterior motive or sexual attraction, eiji's innocence shines through and he sees ash as only ash, not as his body or his benefits

this is especially meaningful to their relationship and development because this indicates that eiji has seen ash for who he is from the start. i also believe things probably would have turned out a bit worse (at least on an internal level) if eiji kissed back, which would probably have shattered some of the trust that ash had placed in him so early.

someone also mentioned on twitter the composition of this art rather than just the poses themselves; eiji is above ash, as if initiating an act while ash is grappling with how he should feel about his sexual attraction to eiji. as ash's story has not given him the freedom or bodily autonomy to decide a sexuality for himself (even taking away the one person he liked when he was fourteen, a.k.a. his one chance he had to explore his sexuality at his own will), he technically doesn't exactly have his own sexuality discovered and thus does not know how to interpret the way he feels about eiji. yes there is love, yes there is affection, and yes he does open himself up to eiji in ways he would never open up to anyone else in his life, but sexual interactions have been so tainted in his eyes due to his trauma. he only has ever been taught to associate sex acts with trauma so eiji is new to him.

eiji is not just an experience, but a person. the type of relationship they have is new to both characters. it's eiji's first time experiencing romantic love (as far as we know) and it's ash's first time experiencing sexuality that he doesn't want to run away from.

it's clear that ash wants intimacy and he wants to accept that desire, but it is a rough journey for him that eiji is willing to stick around to see through. that's probably why eiji is initiating the kiss here, because he wants to give ash a little push to evaluate how he feels here. i believe that he is waiting for ash to respond and ash's eyes scan eiji's lips while eiji watches his eyes to see what ash observes.

[calcja]

SAINT OR SLUT PT. 2

CHARACTERS: Haitani Ran, Haitani Rindou, Kokonoi Hajime

THEMES: 18+//NSFW//PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ❗️❗️

SYPNOSIS: Here's what i think whether these bonten members are virgins or nah

A/N: Hello! this is the pt. 2 of Saint or Slut. Thank you very much for liking the first one! I DIDNT EXPECT THAT IT WOULD HAVE THAT MANY LIKES SO THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE HUHUHUHU!!! Again, There might be some grammars and spellings error bc english is not my first language.

❗️This does not follow the manga❗️

❗️Bonten timeskip, They're not minors here anymore❗️

❗️I do not own any images here. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS ❗️

link to first part:

• RAN HAITANI

• 😁😁😁😁... no.

• He's not a virgin anymore. End of the topic.

• Ran is a high maintenance guy, He canonically likes to take care of himself, inside and out. Ran seems to be the type of guy who fills up his needs and wants as a man.

• Now every guy have already imagined themselves having sex AND wanting sex, most of them engage into it just like Ran.

• Just like Sanzu, this man always do his job first especially when it benefits him (and his bro)

• Ran might not be THAT slut but he's a BIG FLIRT especially to girls his types

• idk but i dont rlly see him fuck some random bitches, THIS MAN HAS STANDARDS. he would probably test that person first before he leads them to bed and what i meant by testing is flirting w them first duhhh

• RINDOU HAITANI

• Not a virgin anymore

• Just the fact that he's a DJ in Ropponggi says it all. He's a club owner. He's a Haitani.

• He spends his free time at his own club or sometimes at the club he and his brother own, hosting parties and socializing w other people.

• It's either u're the one who's gonna approach him at the dj booth or he's the one who's going to approach u when u got his eyes and attention.

• Rindou would be the type of guy to chat w u first and have a nice conversation before u end up on his bed

• Would definitely interrogate u first abt what type of music u like lol

• I can see him fucking u in a much more private settings not just in some bathrooms or small romms or what

• This is so random but he gives me "i'm alrdy taken" vibes 😲😲😲

• Kokonoi Hajime

• yuhhh (a virgin)

• cmon give my man a break

• He's defo the most stressed person at bonten

• Always busy. 24/7 paperworks. short breaks.

• He's too busy to fuck w someone, bro just want 8 hours of sleep.

• but im sure he alrdy made out w someone

•If he ever will makeout w someone, i dont see him meeting someone to makeout w at some club like the other members but rather i see him at the office or sumthn

• Koko rlly needs to know u first before he gets freaky w u, It will take long bcs he needs to be comfy w u first.

a/n: That's all! thanks again for reading the first part of this series

[emmyrosee]

hiya emmy :D i was reading ur dad aus, and i thought ‘what if emmy wrote older sibling aus?’ and i wanted to request one :) somehow im a complete softie for ur bakugou, so i wanted to request an older brother bakugou who ten years older than his lil sis, and she absolutely adores him. i think shed be like ‘katsu-nī’ all the time, and be around five? six? when he gets into UA. idk why but im imagining him calling her ‘kid’ or ‘brat(in a nice way, u know?)’ and when hes rlly soft, maybe ‘sweetheart’ when she has nightmares? and maybe when he gets captured, shes so scared that she cant sleep well, and after he comes back, she begs to sleep with him, and mama mitsuki finds her kids sleeping together during the night, with bakugous lil sis clinging to him like her life depends on it and bakugou having an arm around her. and maybe when she was younger, shed enter bakugous room randomly, and sit on his lap while he does hw or study? and shed have all kinds of nicknames for his friends, for instance, she likes to call midoriya ‘zuku-nī’ and kirishima ‘aka-nī’ cuz he had red hair and calls the rest of them by their first names and ‘san’ at the end :) thx for listening to my rant and i hope ur having a good day, and u stay healthy :)

-sky :D

WAIT NO THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE. REALLY REALLY CUTE-

Because like. Yeah, the last thing the boy needs in his life is a new sibling, he needs that like he needs a UTI.

But then she comes along and he’s like… like he’s obsessed with her.

He tries to hide it under indifference, he doesn’t really care that there’s gonna be a new, tiny presence in his home, he’s got enough to take care of.

That is, until Bakugou Kaida comes into this world.

Until the smallest, sweetest bundle of pink blankets is passed into his arms and it’s then and only then he realizes that he’s doomed, because this kid was going to absolutely have him wrapped around her finger, and come hell or high water, he’d keep her the happiest little brat to walk the face of the earth.

And he is sure to have her grow up with that knowledge.

One time, when she was three, someone pushed her on the playground, and Katsuki nearly punted a four year old- he, instead, told her how to push back (which wasn’t appreciated by his parents) and stand her ground.

However, said ‘happiest brat mantra,’ she knows exactly how to make it curve him for her benefit.

When he’s left to babysit her, she flashes him her biggest set of puppy eyes to make him play with her; his parents have come home god knows how many times to him with a table cloth draped over his back, playing Horsies- she does it more when Midoriya is the horse, because he can’t say no to her either, but anytime she says “Zuku-ni would do it” to Katsuki, he immediately drops on his hands and knees with a snarl on his mouth. Like hell he’s gonna let Midoriya win her heart like that.

And listen, the kid is cute, and she’s got that classic Bakugou charm. She knows how to work it! But Katsuki can’t help the absolute rage down his spine when she’s got her tiny arms curled around Kirishima’s thick neck and they tease him about when they’re gonna get married because yeah, of course, she wants to marry his friends, because why can’t she be disgusted by them like he is?

(”Yeah, bakubro, you’re cool being my best man for it, right?”

“I’d rather skin you alive and drape you over my banister before I let you come near her with a ring pop, do not test me-”)

But obviously, no matter what, for Kaida’s happiness, Katsuki is willing to move boulders, move mountains, part seas, and swallow the stars if it meant she would smile for him.

So, when he gets taken by the LOV, it’s wild how much Kaida deflates. Mitsuki catches her, more times than not, curled up on his bed to sleep for her nap, and at nighttime, she stares longingly outside of her window to wait for him. They try to be gentle and explain that he’ll be back soon, but she doesn’t believe them, she wants to see it with her own eyes.

They put her back to bed, but she’s up a few hours later, perched at her window and whimpering softly. They try to keep her in their bed, but all she does is ask questions about Katsuki until the early hours of the morning, things they don’t always know the answer to.

Those were the longest days of her little life, and when they finally get the call that he’s alright, he’s alive, it’s an extremely tearful reunion. And Katsuki, the hellion and wall of impenetrable rage, screws his eyes shut to fight the stabbing of tears that want to fall into her hair.

Kaida absolutely refuses to let him out of her sight after that.

The entire time they’re talking to the school, her big, crimson eyes are blinking up at him, tiny fingers curled in his shirt collar. Completely unfazed by the snapping between her parents and brother, she just. Stares. She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t frown, she doesn’t pout. It’s just a simple, blank face with all her emotions and relief in her eyes.

Even after the whole ordeal, there’s a part of Kaida that treasures Katsuki (somehow) even more. Anytime he’s home, she’s clinging to him, be it physically by dangling to his back and legs, or simply being in the same room with him: next to him at the dinner table, sleeping on his bed while he’s at his desk, playing with his fingers while he watches tv.

He’d be annoyed by it if she wasn’t so cute.

If he didn’t miss her almost as much as she missed him.

It’s different when he’s away at school and can call her whenever he wants; he hates how much he loves the little snot.

Even now, curled into his side and sucking her thumb while they watch TV, Katsuki knows that if he gets up to merely pee, she’s gonna follow him and sit on the outside of the door, talking to him under the door. (The first time Deku saw that in action, he cooed audibly, and Katsuki nearly ran out of the can with his pants undone to blow him to shit.) and he’d never be able to complain about it.

Sometimes, he can’t help but putting off whatever it is he needs to do, to keep her comfy.

It’s what big brothers do.

“Katsu-ni?” She hums around her thumb. Big eyes look up at him, and he scratched her hair gently.

“What’s up?”

She pauses, as if trying to find the words, her tiny brows furrowed in thought. Then, she speaks, words warbled from the digit in her mouth.

“You think mumma gon’ notice if I go back ta’ school wiff you? In your back-packie?”

He snorts and tightens his arm around her, burrowing his face in her hair to hide the sound. She squeals and bats him away affectionately, completely crawling in his lap when she deems he’s too far from her.

“I think she might, stink.”

Kaida pouts and thunks her head against his chest, the fingers of her free hand fisting his collar. “Do ya have to go…?”

“You know I do,” he grumbles, hooking a lock of hair behind her ear, once again burying his face in her hair. The only noise for a moment comes from the TV, and he focuses on the rhythmic breathing from his little brat.

“You don’t have to think about that for a few more days,” he says, planting a kiss to her head and choosing to fight the way his eyes water when she sniffles softly. “You can use me as a jungle gym for a few more days.”

This, has her giggling, and he angles his head up at the ceiling because this is always the hardest part about being home, especially since he was kidnapped.

“I don’t like when you leave, Katsu-ni,” she mumbles.

“I know, baby.”

“Make me miss you…”

“I know- you know I miss you too.”

“Wish you didn’t have to keep goin’ ‘way…”

He swallows again.

“I know.”

[sbk-zgvlt]

Ok. Here me out. Sebek in Octinavelle. It’s canon that if Sebek had to choose any other dorm to be in, he’d choose Octinavelle on the basis of picking up more people skills for Malleus’ political benefit. Think about it. Sebek, uptight and an adamant rule follower whose not that great with hidden meanings and the like, being stuck with Azul and the Tweels, arguably the sleaziest sons of bitches on campus. It’d be the FUNNIEST shit on this earth bro.

Sebek working in the lounge (playing WAITER of all things; it’s priceless seeing Azul begging Sebek to not accidentally scare the customers off), Azul trying his HARDEST to instill some business sense into Sebek and get him to pick up some habits worthy of a member of Octinavelle (It’s not working) (Sebek has no fucking clue how to do the whole bargaining thing, he’s incapable of lying)

Sebek and the Tweels interacting?? PLEASE. Jade just likes messing with him. Floyd likes to mess with him as well (he says outta pocket shit to try and rule Sebek up) (It works.) They’ve actually gotten to the point of physical altercation because Floyd was still trying to figure Sebek out and didn’t know WHEN exactly to stop pushing so hard.

I'll be honest I thought he would choose Octavinelle because there's a chance that salmon could be there/hj

BUT OH MY GODDDDDD SEBEK GET OUT OF THERE OCTAVINELLE ARE DRAMATIC AND FEEL THE NEED TO USE CRYPTIC FUCKING RIDDLES DURING DAY TO DAY SPEECH YOUR AUTISTIC LOOKS WILL NOT CAPTIVATE THEM

Just imagining Azul trying to get Sebek to understand business lingo but failing immediately. "Sebek, don't bother boiling the ocean." "???? IM RE-ORGANIZING THESE FILES. WHERE DOES THE OCEAN COME IN."

Sebek scared off the customers at first but the first brave student who decided to give him a shot quickly found out that Sebek...is not fit for social interactions. He asked him what he'd recommend from the menu and Sebek covered his face with it while groaning in pain. They felt so bad for him they took the notepad from him and wrote down their order instead 😭

Azul never made him play waiter ever again

They realized he was incapable of lying when Floyd suddenly ran up to him and told him to not tell Azul where he was or else he'll squeeze him. He hid in a closet. Azul rounded the corner and asks Sebek in an impatient tone where Floyd was. Sebek asked him who Floyd was.

...Floyd was too shocked with how BAD Sebek was at lying he didnt bother going through with his threat

THEY DEFINITELY FOUGHT 😭😭😭 Floyd finds it fun that they have their own prominent freshman of the dorm! Sure, there are other freshmen, but theyre....eh. Nothing too special. Sebek on the other hand BAWLED when he was assigned to Octavinelle and tried to sleep in the courtyard of Diasomnia (It was too cold) (He returned to Octavinelle). This kid is FUCKED UP Floyd wants to shake him around.

Jade meanwhile wants to observe him in a fucking petri dish. Constantly compares Sebek's crocodile form to his, Floyd's and Azul's. Wonders out loud who would win in a fight between a crocodile, octupus, and an eel. Sebek isnt entirely too picky about food because anything better than Lilia's is a GODSEND, so he's the perfect test subject for all of Jade's dishes. Sebek is clueless to how far his mushroom obsession can go.

Azul has to take care of the tweels AND Sebek. He has to make sure that Sebek doesnt get into a fight with another Octavinelle member because Sebek didnt pick up on their sarcasm, tries to jump into any and every body of water, and let his temper get the best of him when the tweels mess around with him.

[evilcokito]

How’s Angel Sam going Coco~

HEHEHEHEH look it was brain- rotting in my head for awhile so like might as well share it with you here.

Angel Sam who’s burnt up his beautiful wings just for a chance to touch you with his own hands. He fell quite literally just for you, isn’t that just so romantic of him?

But he’s well aware he can’t freeload off your kindness forever… Sam hates seeing you so stressed over finance, so he gets a part-time job to help you out, and elevate your worries, even just by a bit.

He doesn’t tell you about it, though. The most you got out of him was a chuckle, and a light peck on your cheek as Sam tells you not to worry about it~ Let your angel keep some of his secrets, hm?

Imagine your surprise when you see him behind the counter of your local bar, dressed in an ebony black suit, sleeves rolled up till his elbows. Sam blinks at you in mild surprise, as he grins mischievously. Well, well. A guardian angel and his beloved meet in a bar… this sounds like a beginning of a joke.

Either way, he beckons you over. Telling you to pull up a seat right in front of him, as Sam busies himself making a personalised cocktail just for you. Sam puts on a show, twisting and tossing the cocktail mixer. His heart just leaps a beat whenever you gaze meets him, admiration in your eyes. Those hands of his were truly magic, juggling the metallic container with practised ease.

Once he pours it out for you, you’re transfixed by the way it seems like liquid mist, purple trendies curling through the drink. Dancing seductively within the glass. You hold it up to the light, only to notice the purple was the exact same shade as his eyes.

The same pair of eyes that were staring at you softly, affection apparent within his gaze. The gentle sort of affection that would benefit a lover. So filled with love.

He nudges the cup closer to your lips. It’s a special service, y’know? A personalised cocktail, just for you. Sam tried his best to make it something you’ll like, so take a sip already, hm?

It’s just for you.

He’s just for you.

You have no idea of ​​the magnitude of what you just caused. I went from 100% to 1000%. Totally insane right now. Completely.

LORD HAVE MERCY.

WHAT HAPPENED??? YOU LOST YOUR KITSUNE CATER SO YOU HAVE TIME TO COME ATTACK ME?? LET'S SEE IF YOU TIE THAT FOX BETTER!!!??? HOLY SHIT- WHAT'S HAPPENING??? THOSE RED ROPES WERE NOT STRONG ENOUGH OR WHAT??!!

CERU I READ THIS MANY TIMES IN THE DAY, THE STUPID DOVE - FRIED THE WINGS. HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY BUT IM IN A STATE OF CONSTANT SHOCK EVERY TIME READ THAT- FIND SAM IN A BAR? THE BARTENDER ANGEL?! COULD THE GUY BE MORE PERFECT??? NO- CAN'T!!!?? DAMN PIGEON, HATE IT!!

You walk into a bar -> totally me.

AN ANGEL IN A BAR??? WITH SUIT ROLLED UP SLEEVES MY LORD HAVE MERCY DON'T MAKE ME SIN IS GOD TESTING?? SENDING A SENSUAL DOVE OR WHAT???

My brain runs, imagine the "human" Sam, his shadow projects his wings even though he no longer has them. What kind of abilities will the angels have beyond human understanding??? Altering destiny could prevent something from happening since you are quite careless. Well angels don't have that much control unless they are rebellious, fallen, wingless angels.

Mhh? talk too much?

Screamed and cried a lot but you know me, can't help it.

[spiders-notagain]

Vulcan Education

I haven't seen much else on what Vulcan Schools are suppossed to look like so I came up with my own. Intermixed are some bits I like from Memory Beta. Im ignoring all the parts from 20 yrs and after because it may only be applicable to the Lyr Zor clan and isnt compatible with Alpha canon anyway.

kan-tuihal-shi'oren (Nursery School): Ages 3-5

Its not a necessary prerequisite for primary school but many parents consider it to be important in the schooling process anyway. Benefits include the fundamentals in most every subject for primary school, peer socialization, and a variety of new ideas (er well vulcan-filtered ideas). A bigger emphasis is made on the arts in this school than in later schools. Students learn and perform dances for their parents and community.

Vulcan toddlers are capable of a great deal of self sufficiency when well taught, however not all parents have the time to cover all the basics and can't afford the multiple tutors some clans spring for (or just choose not to).

Newborn children til the age of four were known to take part in visual mathematics, basical calculation as well as beginning the neurological organization of their brains which was followed by an identity meld. By the time they were four, they began mathematics and species identification as well as began to coordinate the use of their physical bodies. Furthermore, algebra, geometry and physics dominated their study life at this time.

During their early education, Vulcan children took part in a curriculum where they learnt the most rudimentary telesper skills to better control their innate telepathic abilities.

nenik-shi'oren (Primary School): Ages 6-14

Schooling is largely made up of lectures and frequent homework, intermixed with regular progress testing via skill domes. Skill domes also serve a part in final exams. With the exception of certain classes, in-classwork is rare. Schoolwork is done mostly through padds. It's more reminiscent of a college with a few differences: 1. Youre not allowed to skip lectures 2. More classes are required as per graduation. In some classes, resources are provided and learning is mostly self directed. There are multiple education paths that come more into play by graduation but primary school is generally understood to be non-specific. By the graduation of this school, children would have the education equivalent up to 14th grade. Classes are separated by skill level rather than age, although most classes happen to be made up of children around the same age anyway. Many 'fun' events (like crafts or holiday parties) that would be common in schools of other species do not exist in vulcan schools. Although some teachers of alien cultures include a sampler of such activities in their lesson plans. Because they are young, children are permitted frequent mental breaks as a sort of vulcan pomodoro technique to increase productivity. As they get older they will be expected to train their mind to do this naturally.

While most schools go over the basics of psychic training, the bulk of it is expected to be handled by family. Usually by a parent but some clans have someone who specializes in it. This is also the kind of thing some families get a tutor for.

An informal social heirarchy forms between students as they hit certain milestones, with these students being admired as older and more mature. At 7, their kan-telan (bonding ceremony). And at 10, their kahs-wan. The latter being more important and noticable. (The kahs-wan can be taken as early as 7 but not often)

When they were eight, children began preliminary telepathic communication and were taught etiquette as well as their clans history along with Vulcan anthropology, calculus and quantum physics. When the child was ten, they learn to suppress cortical stimuli in the dominant hemisphere as well as learn of their races cultural history and began a study of Vulcan rites of passage. By the time they were eleven, they learn of the pressure points needed for mind melding in addition to learning memory accuracy and internal time counting. Furthermore, they were introduced to logic and definition, the principles of analysis, concreteness of thought and physical deportment. These early years of study were expected to continue til the child was between the age of thirteen to fifteen after which their formal training began.

dahrik-shi'oren (Secondary School): Ages 14-20+

Schools at this stage are often specialized and considered precursors to advanced academies such as:

Vulcan Science Academy (VSA)

Vulcan Medical Institute

Vulcan Institute of Defense Arts (VIDA)

Vulcan School of Diplomacy

Studies here aren't as fast paced and ruthless as full colleges. And unlike primary school they have no government standard learning criteria to meet. Most students would be either in the direct midst of puberty or finishing out its second stages. In some areas they have just one school which contains the pathways necessary for whichever trade schools are popular in the region (more like a skills center).

In more isolated areas this is where students would have either moved to the city to pursue higher education or found a job locally to help out at home (likely picking up an apprenticeship).

For those that choose to take it, the Rite of Taloth is commonly undergone around this time. While it is an acknowledged accomplishment among peers, a social heiarchy is not formed around it as that is now viewed as childish.

When formal training began, the first rite conducted was Tal T'Lee where they were assisted in their meditation by an adept of their clan council. They learn to control their subdominant cortices which was followed by Dwemish Hi-An where identity isolation was learnt along with brain control with numbers systems and equations. They also learn multiplication left to right whereupon they took part in Enok-Kal Fi Lar which was the processes of definition and the concepts of given. Once this was complete, the child took part in An-Prele between the age of sixteen to nineteen where they learn pain control meditation from a clan council adept. They were also expected to read Essays of Discipline and Analysis of Pseudodoxy as well as was expected to learn to segregate the lobes of their brains.

*I came up with the names through stuff on VLD and VLI but if anyone wants to consolidate it to sound catchier go ahead.

[windvexer]

Hey, Chicken! Hope you don't mind this ask, as I'm not sure if you know much about this topic (I don't remember seeing you mention it before), but I was just wondering if you have any advice on using a pendulum for divination? I've been told something about "micro movements" affecting the accuracy of readings, but I'm unsure if this is an actual thing that happens or not, and it makes me nervous that my readings are super inaccurate (I don't have a pendulum stand, unfortunately). If you don't have any advice or opinions or whatnot, no worries! Thank you for taking the time to read through my ask regardless. Take care! 🐔

Hi!

I'm not the biggest pendulum reader. For years I couldn't get any level of accuracy out of them. However, in recent years, I've made decent progress.

Idk about the micromovements thing. I don't worry about them. I'm assuming a micromovement is like... tiny little jiggles?

IME, pendulum readings shouldn't be tiny little jiggles. They should be big, active movements.

When it comes to accuracy, we have some problems and some solutions.

Not all divinatory tools can measure the same things, first of all.

If I asked you, right now, to use tarot to determine the charge level and activity status of an enchanted spell vessel, could you do it?

Perhaps! I have no reason to doubt you.

But, like me, perhaps you would need to create a custom oracle system within tarot before you could do such a thing. Because tarot, in and of itself, is not an excellent system for determining the power levels within magical objects.

Now, if I asked you to do the same thing with a pendulum, could you?

Of course you could. That's, like, pendulum 101. That's what a pendulum does, baby!

You just hover that bad boy over an enchanted spell vessel and if it makes a biggo circle, the thing is charged up; but if it makes a small circle, or only does these micromovements you speak of, it's not charged at all.

Using a pendulum, you can obtain in seconds what you'd have to spend hours doing with a tarot deck.

And vice-versa!

Try using a pendulum to obtain a guidance message from a spirit. So tedious.

What this demonstrates (I hope) is that if you apply a pendulum to the incorrect ends, it will be very difficult to wrangle answers from. You can use a power drill to saw through a board, certainly; but the results will be tedious to obtain and awful to behold.

The benefits I've found is that the pendulum makes absolute ease of certain magical needs, but you've got to know what it can do and what it can't do; and if you need it to do something it can't do, you need to be prepared to develop your own custom systems of divination to attach to the pendulum, much like one downloads workshop mods to modify a computer game.

Yes, do confirm with the pendulum what direction is "yes" or "no," either through asking or telling.

Confirm whether or not your readings are accurate by reading on verifiable things. If you would like a test, make a pendulum board like this one (same link as before), and have friends send you photos of objects enchanted with the same categories of energy as your board contains. Use your pendulum to determine the types of enchantment contained therein.

If you are anything like me, you'll find that pendulums are excellent at detecting energies, but quite poor at producing sentences and paragraphs like tarot can.

I think of the pendulum as more of a gauge, or meter. It can be activated on a scale of "barely" to "very," and move in either the direction of "this" or "that."

I have never bothered with using a pendulum over a spirit board to slowly spell out answers, when you can draw two tarot cards and get a few sentences at once.

Likewise, why bother with tarot, or casting lots, or energy readings, when you can hold up a pendulum and get a quick, accurate reading of the properties of some object or person, or whatever?

So I'm definitely rambling, but my biggest tip to you, is:

Figure out for yourself what domains are easily read when you and pendulum work together, and strive to discover, modify, or create systems of meaning which make sense for the both of you, and allow the both of you to work as a team to discover certain answers.

Do not see the pendulum as interchangeable with any other system of divination. See it as a skill, in and of itself.

You may find much greater success reading on things which you can interact with, such as objects and photos, as opposed to hypotheticals, such as predicted futures.

[crwndsprkzy]

cheapest rent in the city next to me where everything i do is $240 a week

my gov payments are $460 fortnightly, offset now because i had to edit my claim because i technically dropped out of school

my mother is charging me $100 a week to stay in my room and "my half of the house" (3 rooms, both this agreement of what in the house is mine and the decision to charge rent at all was never discussed with me prior)

it is now less possible for me to get a job in town as my parents are now refusing to drive me anywhere, and are attempting to make me catch the only two buses into the city for around one errand on any day. these buses come at 7 am and 6 pm.

i cannot aquire driving tutoring or classes anymore as i cant get into town. if i fail the learners driving test once that means i have to pay upwards of $50 for each try after that.

i cant get a cab into town from my house. that is $100+ for a round trip, excluding public transport fees while in town.

i am about to get diagnosed with a uti, which i will need to pay for on my own. neither of my parents have offered me a ride into town, and have asked which bus i will be taking, and provided dissatisfaction at me for not having considered that.

i cant remove my mother from having control over my government files, or else she will know i have terminated the nominee agreement she forced me into.

i cant go into town to reclaim my disability insurance, and she will stay in control of my funding to stay alive and recieve treatment. she can call all the shots on my plans, i have no control over what care i will be recieving, despite the agreement saying i would like to be a part of meetings, she essentially bans me from being a part of it.

she is complaining now that i wont go into town and split my bank account from hers. she has always had the ability to take my money at any moment, and has still been doing it recently. she takes loans out of my transactional account without telling me. she complains and yet she is insistent on not offering a ride into town.

she believes i have no assets. she claims everything i own is hers. that is why the only thing listed on my claims that i own is my cd collection, but how long until she trashes the one thing im proud of here.

i now have to pay my own phone bill. $40 a month.

this is all seeming impossible.

i'm technically a high school drop out now. and i'm getting the judgement from my dad who never finished year 10, and from everyone. ive already lost a lot of my school friends, and they refuse to tell me what i did wrong.

i dont even know where my id documents are if i wanted to run away for good. i dont have access to anything. she hides my documents.

i'm forever going to remain undiagnosed for did, bpd will never be considered, and i dont even have the diagnosis papers for autism to claim my benefits now.

why is this what i have to live in.

[maximillien]

anywho, THE REQUEST 🫶🫶

i don’t mind what ever format you like to do, but can i have a thing with alberu where he’s looking at the reader and goes “oh shit, i am so in love with this person” and after he comes to that realisation he just notices more little things about the reader until he’s like, “(name), for as long as i lived, and for how much i cherish this empire, you are my closest aide and has gone through the most with me. so, not as a request from your superior or as your royal highness, but as alberu, would you continue to cherish these moments with me? for i love you truly, (name)”

JUST. HIM. REALISING HIS LOVE AND SWEETLY PROFESS HIS LOVE I CANNOT PLS

Omg omg omg okay let's gooooooo

(LIGHT NSFW WARNING)

- let's start talking about how he'd fall in love with reader.

- another writer has touched on this, but I also think he'd go for an arranged marriage as they've written 'the benefits of an Arranged marriage can't be glossed over'

- so yeah, reader is either a noble or princess and all (transmigrated or not)

- I think he'd try to start off being friends with you

- before the wedding and marriage in itself he wants you both to get to know each other, like? You're spending your lives together?? Might as well see what you're both getting on each end

- so he'd try to make some time in his schedule (I'd love to see him throw his work on Cale- literally, throw his papers in his face and say 'IM GOING A DATE, DO THE WORK')

- most likely would have tea with you, have walks in the garden

- starts off asking basic questions like your favourite colour and food (yes ik ik ik idc, he's asking them, he wants to know)

- he might invite you to play chess with him (yes I hc he plays chess- ugh imagine playing chess with him. After he fell in love with you he'd let you win just to see you smile (unless you're a chess champion and you win without him letting you, then count him surprised and horny))

- bounces ideas and theories off of you, he wants to know how your brain works and your thought process

- at the very start when you're still acquaintances he'd probably ask some questions to test your boundaries and see where you stand (like to see if some subjects make you tick, what you're okay talking about and all)

- he wants to know who you are as a person, not as the noble/royal facade you've put up

- in exchange he'll do the same

- he won't let you know he's a dark elf yet tho, that's like very very intimate territory and much further down the line

- so he'd share his own ideas, theories and interests

- I think you'd end up being friends in the beginning

- then you get married (I don't think you'd spend the first night yet)

- and then you meet his fucking brother

- I think you'd be so flabbergasted meeting Cale that you'd show it too evidently on your face, and Alberu would test the waters. Then you'd answer in some way, half bashing Cale and that's it.

- he's elated

- you're now BEST FRIENDS

- tea times complaining about Cale and the work you BOTH have to take care of

- which he's ever so thankful for, because he also now has you to help and has a tiny bit more free time

- I think he'd fall in love after you discover he's affiliated to the dark elves

- like you don't know HES one. You just know he has connections with them

- one of his fake elf guards made themselves known in their real form and BOOM. You're in his office

- why are you in his office? Your husband has been overworking himself for the millionth time that month, so you know what? You're going to knock him out and drag his ass to bed. How will you do that? You snuck into the kitchen and stole a pan. Now you're tiptoeing into his office, busting the door open and- OH MY GOD IS THAT A DARK ELF?

- I gotta say, mistah dark elf bodyguard would probably try to knock you out, but you've been training your reflexes to knock your husband out.

- so guess what?

- mistah bodyguard ends up knocked out into the floor whilst steam comes off the pan

- Alberu is gobsmacked

- like his mouth is open and he is SHOCKED

- a tiny little part of him is like 'wow, they have brains AND brawn, ugh I wish that were me on the floo-'

- he waves the thoughts off though, and pries the pan from your hands before more lasting damage can occur

- I mean he was gobsmacked, youre over here having a whole ass nervous breakdown because what the FUCK is a dark elf, the elves that have gone into HIDING FOR CENTURIES??? Doing here??

- honestly considering taking his necklace off and telling you the truth

- before you look at him, dead in his eyes and go ' you're allies with them'

- so he's just gone quiet whilst you're over here, marvelling over how your husband SOMEHOW managed to BEFRIEND, and ALLY himself to THE dark elves

- he's kinda shocked that you're not idk, thinking of reporting his bodyguard (who si still knocked out onto the floor)

- he asks you why you're not reporting the bodyguard to his father (ugh.)

- you say that it's unfair what's happening to them. What, because they use dead mana they're dangerous now? Who the fuck came up with that logic?

- he swoons. Does not show, but he swoons.

- he started falling in love right there, he just didn't show it and I don't think he acknowledges it until later on

- so you know, you guys brings the bodyguard back to his room/headquarters and then you both walk back to your room

- you shared that you were gonna knock him out with the pan to bring him to bed (since he wondered why you had it)

- he's never been more jealous of his bodyguard in his life

- anyways y'all go to bed

- he definitely wants to ask you again, if you're okay with him being allied to the dark elves (not even knowing your sexy ass husband is one) but he abstains cuz you'll get suspicious otherwise

- he waits until you fall asleep and just watches you, with this soft look in his eyes, and his heart just squeezes and he knows

- he is not an idiot, he knows on the spot what he's feeling and that it's all for you

- probably has an 'Ah. I'm in love with them' realisation

- definitely makes more time in his schedule for you

- and tries courting you properly

- he's putting himself out there

- gets you flowers, presents, whatever you want.

- you want jewellery? He's called up the best jewellers in the empire, they're coming over soon. You want to have a look at new weapons for your weapon training? He's sneaking out with you in town to have a look at some. It's a date. (He's buying you skewers and trying out new foods too. Is watching you and only you the whole time. Definition of heart eyes.)

- he complimented you before he fell in love, but then his compliments like, tentupled?? Is that a word?? Autocorrect says it's not. (X10 basically)

- you 👏 are 👏 always 👏 getting 👏 complimented 👏

- in the morning when you wake up? Your hair looks marvellous, he loves the way the sun catches its reflections. When you come see him for a break? Gosh, those trousers/dress suit you so well. He should call another dresser to make some more for you. Having dinner? He won't say it, but he loves how you eat (yes, he loves how you eat. Idk what you use to eat, he loves how you enjoy your food and your content face.)

- literally, he loves everything about you

- it doesn't even matter what emotion you're feeling

- you're angry? Will try his best to help you (Horny activated if you get mad at some horrid noble). You're sad? He will always always be there for you and make time for you. Want a hug? His arms are already open and he's ushering you into his lap. Not a hugger but need a shoulder? Available for Any talk. He'll always be on your side.

- I don't see him confessing just yet

- he's in love, but he's been living in the palace so that's given him trust issues

- also he's a dark elf so that makes his trust issues go ⬆️

- you'd get curious about his necklace sooner rather than later.

- all the months you guys have been sleeping together he's never taken it off

- you've seen him go take a BATH with it

- (yes? You watch your husband like a hawk? And? He notices when you go to take a bath too?? He loves how you look when you're all warm and refreshed, ready for bed.)

- so yeah, subject would come up, and he'd share it's from his mom

- you tell him he can talk about it if he wants

- he does. He talks about his mom, how much he loves and misses her. How he knows she would've loved you so much and would've loved to meet you. How hard it was in the palace for them and how life was for him after

- you'd both be in a pretty private area and you'd have moved your hand to hold his (if ur ok with touch, if not, you're intently listening to him).

- at that point he says he wants to share something personal

- you say go for it

- he takes his necklace off

- *wink club transformation msuic*

- here is your sexy dark elf husband

- now. I gotta say. I think we all thirst for dark elf Alberu. I know for sure my first thought would be a horny one and I know reader would also have a thirsty thought

- probably let's it slip that you find him really HOT AND SEXY

- hand on mouth with gasp (not him ;;;)

- he did not expect that

- he expected either a freak out, rejection or acceptance

- not sudden horny

- gobsmacked 2.0

- recovers pretty quickly, he's definitely teasing you after but right now he just wants to make sure you're okay with this

- you're okay with him? Even like this?

- youre tutting at him at this point. What the fuck do you mean, this? Yeah I'm okay with you being sexy, man.

- no but seriously you say this changes nothing and he's still your Alberu (ahem ahem emphasis on YOUR, he blushes but you can't see due to his darker skin)

- gets up from his seat (y'all were sitting at a table) and rounds the table.

- takes your face in his hand and looks ta you with that look

- that look. When you're in love and you look at somebody like they're your world

- yeah, he's looking at you like that.

- he's leaning in closer and right RIGHT close to your lips he asks if you're okay with this (little breathy question, god you can feel him)

- you don't even wait

- just immediately take his face and kiss him

- he's brain fucked

- he's so happy, gives the kiss his all

- sits on the table and you climb on his lap and straddle him soon after

- you're both holding each others faces

- rly passionate honestly

- and then confession

- he confesses between kisses

- now you over here are absolutely breathless. Not breath left in these lungs. He's taken all your oxygen and he's confessing his undying love for you

- the moment you reciprocate hes grabbing your waist and leaning you slightly forward and kissing you even more fervently

- he's so happy

- (this definitely leads to hickeys, though he had to loosen your dress/shirt to give them, gosh you're both completely messed up by the end)

- I wouldn't be surprised if you guys had your first time right there and then

- If you don't want to, he'll immediately stop, he's absolutely fine not doing anything. He's still miss you up your neck and your face though. Very attached to you for the next few weeks

- if you do end up banging, you're doing it on the floor as the table is too uncomfortable

- takes very good care of you, goes slow and is very respectful (even if his control is slipping, like sweets, the moment he's in you? That control is an elephant on a thread)

- aftercare king

- runs you a bath, asks for some food to be cooked and water to be brought over

- will massage you if you want

- wether you have sex or not, you both fall asleep cuddling (unless you don't like that) and he's completely shoved his face into your neck

- he's in his dark elf form the whole time btw

Haha there it is

My keyboard is glitching so I'm stopping now

[sparrowmoss]

okay i have more thoughts im gonna put them under a cut though because people have some very strong opinions about who is at fault after this weeks ep and i want to share my own for my own purposes but i dont want people to try to argue or fight me

this entire thing is sol’s fault. like borderline mental break unhinged moment wack behavior, sol’s fault. it is deeply deeply strange for him to have encountered two child strangers and instantly claim to become as attached as he was showing, acting and reacting very strongly to his perceived claim over osha, a STRANGER and a YOUNG CHILD, yet he could not even fucking tell her apart from mae when he saw one in the coven doorway.

indara should not have had to deal with, on top of trying to make her teenage padawan with normal teenage desires and normal teenage bitterness understand that their assignment was not a personal attack on him and would not last forever and he could eventually go home, her adult peer sol going borderline obsessive nuts over a child who was a stranger. she should have punched his fucking lights out on the ship after all that.

yes the jedi as a group should have been more respectful of the coven and clear with their intentions about making an offer to osha, should not have implied that they had any right to remove her or even test her for force sensitivity (and the whole concept of jedi taking children from their parents due to their force sensitivity is something i have potentially serious issues with depending on how much say the parents have in it and how much pressure the jedi order places on them to relinquish their children, but we haven’t really seen how that works completely clearly, so i give the limited benefit of the doubt for now), and DEFINITELY should have spoken to aniseya and the rest of her coven about mae’s “they’re going to sacrifice themselves” line (which mae misunderstood/misremembered, aniseya had said “sacrifice A PART OF ourselves” not “sacrifice ourselves” but only the audience knows that) to clarify what was actually going on.

like. almost all of the issues in this event were due to everyone assuming the worst of the people on the “opposite side”. and all of those bad faith assumptions spiraled so out of control that basically everyone died. but not sol’s unreasonable and instant attachment.

it just makes me feel so crazy that he was like, oh i feel connected to her, i’m MEANT to teach her, she’s MEANT to be my padawan, in a destiny sense, like immutable fate. and in the heat of the moment he can’t even tell that mae is mae and not osha. he cant even fucking tell them apart!!! the connection he feels is entirely made up by him in his fucking head. either that or whatever part of it is real, he is taking it and running with it and assuming that everything that happens is proof of that connection, so when mae runs out toward him he thinks it must be the one he felt connected to.

i truly have no ideas on what may have led him to instantly connect to her in such a way that he disregarded her wants and needs and safety. in a way that blinded him to the fact that that coven was still her family and still loved her. in a way that made him go for the kill on osha’s own mother for basically no fucking reason, so much so that he immediately clearly wondered “why did i do that?”

and i think indara was right, and sol was right for following her suggestion, when she said he could not go to the council and confess what he had done. to cause all of that for the self stated reason that he felt a connection to osha so strong he just had to do whatever it took, no matter the cost, to get her as his padawan. then end up getting her whole family killed and THEN leave her after that? yes he would have faced punishment that he deserved but SHE would not get the support and help that SHE deserved. i think indara was right to make the decision to hide the truth from the council. i think sol staying by osha’s side and being there for her was in osha’s best interests, as unfortunate as it is. indara couldn’t take her on because she already had a padawan, and maybe kelnacca could have but i think there would have been some nervousness on her part as she likely could not understand anything he said. it basically had to be sol or she would have suffered a lot, on top of losing her family and leaving her home and everything she knew behind to live a completely different life. sol had to lie to keep his position to be there for the person who he had caused great loss. he had to do what he could to make up for it.

and i think his guilt since that day is genuine. i do think that whatever weird intense mental break state he was in, he came out of it. i think his attachment to osha in the present timeline of the bulk of the story comes more from knowing that his actions cost her the lives of her entire family and now he is all she has left. like, the feeling that he owes her, if that makes sense. that since he caused her family’s deaths, he has to do whatever he can to make her happy and fulfilled now. and i think his line to the kids in the temple about not always trusting your eyes, comes from stuff he learned through this mistake with mae and osha.

but i still think its also fucked how little he seemed to care for jecki in this situation. he clearly doesnt feel the same protective need and care toward her as he does toward osha, even though osha left the order. he brought jecki on this mission and dragged her into the mess that he created all those years ago and got her killed and just left her body there. i do not think he would drag osha into a mess he’d created in the same way. and i know he wouldn’t leave her body!

i dont know man like i dont think sol is the most evil guy ever but i think even though he has changed and tried to do a lot to make up for his failings, not all his motivations are good even now. he really seemed to decide to tell mae his side of events for selfish reasons, for alleviation of his own guilt, not for any benefit to her.

we still have one left and i am really curious to see if his motivations are elaborated on further, what mae’s reaction to his side will be, if osha will find out the story as well before the end of the season, etc etc… so much… its hard to make any definitive judgments or assumptions when it isn’t finished. we’ll see.

[bmpmp3]

i shouldnt really be giving any hot takes on character design as someone who, despite having mild success in the adoptable scene in highschool, absolutely does NOT still got it when it comes to character designing (nowadays im just trying to do my best orz) but i do think one of the most important things with character design is that they serve the medium theyre in well.

like, a super exaggerated shape style triangle man with tiny legs a la mr incredible works great for an action cartoon movie but i dont know how good that style would work in a visual novel where you tend to only see the top half of the body. you wont be able to appreciate the tiny legs 😔

and as much as i goof on the visually cluttered anime boys in otome games and their odd fashion choices (kent from amnesia. at least 21 belts. 11 on one arm alone) i genuinely think they work for what they need to do, like all those fucking sashes and scarves and cords and capes and swishy things on the ikemen sengoku guys, painful to draw for me who wants to draw a goofy comic of them but WONDERFUL for an unanimated visual novel sprite, flowing clothes and hair adds a lot of movement to static images that you'll be staring at for 20-50 hours.

but of course on the visual novel/japanese adv game end of things u also have stuff like phoenix wright and the absolutely beautiful hotel dusk that tend to have blockier silhouettes than the fluttery flowing cloth and hair of like, a character in a bishoujo game from Key or something, but their sprites are animated which benefits from the blockier and (usually) less cluttered designs.

and theres still lots of exaggeration to be had to get very varied character designs, like the jake hunter games have a very grounded semi-realistic style but everyones posture and body types and expressions are pretty distinct, just the distinction is focused on the upper half of the body rather than the whole body like you would focus on with a comedy slapstick cartoon or like a comedy newspaper comic strip. okay its becoming increasingly obvious through what im talking about that i grew up in north america in the 00s-10s using deviantart where if ur cartoons didnt look like disney or pixar or like i dont know johnny test ur designs were considered not good enough so im still in that world. im still in that world. i hope the world is more open now

and something like the hotel dusk designs also would work well for drama or thriller comics - like i was also thinking about big sparkling shoujo manga designs and like. in a comic if ur like a garfield slapstick comedy u wanna look like a garfield, but if ur constantly doing closeups with serious emotion like a romantic drama shoujo manga, having big glittering expressive eyes and emphasizing the upper half of the character is pretty effective for the combination of medium and genre. i also think naoki urasawa's character designs would look so so good in a hotel dusk style game, that guy makes like the perfect thriller design, varied and diverse in shapes but so effective for a serious toned horror mystery thriller thing will lots of closeups of characters faces. i guess because i love serious and dramatic stories about people talking a whole lot i do gravitate towards this style of character design, where the emphasis is on the silhouette from the waist up LOL but it really goes to show that some character designs that may not fit the late 2000s comedy animation shape-based design philosophy have their own places where they thrive <- obvious thing everyone knows except for me who was on deviantart too much when i was 12

i think what im trying to say is i think big boobied super busy anime girl vtuber designs are fine, good even. i like em, i think they do the job and a lot of work goes into them. u only have a headshot/bust (heh) shown on screen 99% of the time u might as well make it with a bunch of particle effects and cool hairclips and lace and weird moving head wings or some shit. slap some sparkles on that thang