#like. he didn’t kill 200 or whatever people but he WAS an addict

[buddiesmutslut]

Just heard someone say Bobby let his wife down as a husband & a father bc he got married before he was ready and not… because he was an addict mixing booze & painkillers and hiding all of that and pain from his wife. Bc that’s the only proof we have of Bobby “letting his family down”, which has absolutely nothing to do with settling down before he was married???

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

Hello! Can I request hcs for your top 5 favorite characters when they find out their fem s/o vapes/smokes? Have a nice day~💕

I loved writing these ngl. Also I did six because I have no idea how to choose between these guys. 

Characters: Leona, Ruggie, Floyd, Kalim, Idia, Malleus

Warnings: smoking&vaping, overdramatic teenage boys (leona isn’t a teenager, does malleus count?)

Leona:

He didn’t peg you to be that kind of person, but there was no doubt that you were vaping

He had smelled the weed on you a few times but didn’t comment. It was common for there to be clouds of vape in the bathrooms at school so he figured you had just walked through one

At first he wouldn’t comment, but he would watch you do it and keep track of how many times you took a hit and how frequently you pulled your pen out during the day

If he felt like there was nothing serious to worry about then he might let it fly a few times only commenting on how he hated the smell to try and persuade you to do it less often

If he was concerned about the amount of vaping you did, he would probably just steal all your stuff at first to see if you would stop

If that didn’t work then he would confront you about it asking why you started and how long you’ve been doing it

It’s unlikely that he’ll be super upset about it but he will ask you to stop and provide you with other solutions if needed

He prefers the you that isn’t higher than the clouds

After learning more about vaping and the fact that by inhaling toxic metals you could potentially die then he would put up more of a fight

If it got to the point where he was really concerned he might take you to a rehab center just so they could get you to stop (even if you weren’t addicted)

Ruggie:

Wait what?! You smoke!!!

He stares in shock as you pull the cigarette away from your mouth and blow out a large puff of smoke

No no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!

Already running up to you and snatching the cigarette out of your hands

“Ruggie!”

Absolutely not. He’s seen enough people in the slums turn to smoking or that might even be the reason they were in the slums to begin with. 

He knows the cost. He has seen people die, or get violently sick, or run out of money because they smoke

It is not something he’s gonna watch you go through

Probably gonna yell at you about how awful this is for you before finding all your cigarettes and soaking them before chopping them into little pieces and throwing them away

He’s got a great sense of smell so if he smells nicotine on you again he would get really upset

Ruggie cares about you a lot but would still most definitely threaten you to get you to stop

If he threatens to end your relationship to that means he’s certainly worried about your health

He doesn’t care how you started in the first place he justs wants you to stop

Would totally beg Leona to pay for rehab

Would also totally drag you there

Floyd:

Eh? What’s little shrimpy doing?

Has zero clue what a vape is or how it works, but it looks fun let him try it too

You’re probably hesitant cause he doesn’t know what it is and if Azul and Jade found out they might get mad

He’s gonna try it anyways

Literally has no idea how to use it and probably ends up inhaling his own spit instead

He wants to know how you make clouds with your breath though, and oh! You can make it into shapes!

Definitely gonna ask Azul and his big brother about it

They casually explain what vaping is and what it does. They also tell him that it’s bad for you and he shouldn’t try it

“Huh? But little shrimpy does it all the time?”

Que a further explanation and advice on how to help you stop

He’s gonna pest you about it all the time now

“You didn’t swallow any clouds again today did you?”

“No Floyd I didn’t swallow any clouds”

It’s very easy for him to get you to stop since he’ll just squeeze you everytime he catches you doing it

And when he finds your pen he will pick it up and throw it away

Has he seen your vape? Of course not. Why would Floyd know where your cloud machine went?

Every time you get sick he accuses you of vaping too much

“You wouldn’t be stuck in bed all day if you hadn’t swallowed so many clouds, shrimpy.”

Kalim:

Immediate panic

“JAMIL!!!!!”

Literally Jamil does not have time for this

Tells him to calm down and just ask you about it

Ok yeah. Kalim can do that. He’s calm

He’s not calm

Forgets to ask you about it and instead asks if you wanna go for a ride

Legit takes you to a rehab center and cries at the front desk about you for like 40 min

The people ask you a few questions and determine that no you’re not addicted and tell Kalim that everything is gonna be fine

You are literally so confused right now

When you guys get home he can’t stop asking questions and telling you that it’s bad to smoke

Will bribe you to get you to stop

“I’ll buy you whatever you want just don’t do that”

Literally 100x more panicked than any other normal person

“BUT WHAT IF YOU DIE!!!!!!”

Doesn’t want to leave your side in case you do it again when he’s not looking

Jamil is 200% done with the dramatics

“Listen if you don’t stop I’ll actually poison your food. I have a hard enough time dealing with Kalim when he isn’t freaking out.”

Between the two of them it would just be easier to stop

Kalim will throw you a party for stopping

He’s so proud of you

“Baby you make me so proud!”

“Kalim she’s not your daughter *sigh*” - Jamil

“WHAT IF OUR DAUGHTER SMOKES!!!”

Hold up since when did he decide that-

Never mind 

Kalim is just a big drama baby and you love him for it

Idia:

Probably doesn’t really know what to think about it

On one hand you’re old enough to make your own decisions

On the other hand your decision making skills are obviously not great

Literally spend the next month trying to decide what to do about it

Makes a pros and cons visual board for confronting you about it

Also writes up a list of reactions to his confrontation

Probably also writes up like 17 different scripts all in a choose your own ending type format to include how to deal with every reaction

Ngl he panics a lot cause he knows that vaping is bad but after finding out you do it he can’t stop watching these really concerning youtube videos about how people’s lives turned into a total complete disaster because of vaping

He becomes a nervous wreck every time you smell like weed

Always has you count to ten when he sees you

Likely has visions of you in the hospital or homeless on the street wheezing about how you wished someone had stopped you 

Either you’re gonna catch on and ask him about it, initiating the conversation or he’s gonna have Ortho do it

He’s worried you will leave him for not being supportive

Literally asks you if you’re gonna leave him for this

Obviously you won’t so when you confirm that you’re staying he melts into a puddle and just cries

Highkey he looks more like one of those crazy people from the videos than you

“But Idia you’re addicted to video games and sugar. People say that’s as bad as cocaine”

Figures out that sugar releases the same chemical in your brain as cocaine

“What if you just ate a bunch of candy with me instead? We can be sugar addicts together.” (Idia I’d love to but no amount of candy is worth a break out)

Fine fine fine you’ll stop (but only cause he literally looks like he’s having withdrawals just from worrying about you) it’s ironic

Malleus:

Most dramatic by far

WHY WOULD A FRAGILE HUMAN PURPOSELY PUT THEIR HEALTH AT RISK

Ngl has zero clue what’s going on until Lilia points it out

“Huh doesn’t smoking kill humans?”

*blink* *blink*

Smoking does what to a human

“DARLING!!!!”

Seriously thinks that your going to die any minute now

Que the mental breakdown

Calls all the best healers and puts you on bed rest

“Darling I know we’re gonna get through this. Just keep fighting”

Ummm… you have no idea what’s happening

He just kidnapped you from class and put you in a Diasomnia room and started weeping like you were dying

Lowkey he already started looking at ways to preserve your body as long as possible

Also looks at coffins and tombstones

Highkey plans to buy you a large plot of land that looks over the pretty stuff in the valley of thorns

Why? you ask.

Because obviously you deserve a whole cemetery to yourself

“Malleus I’m not gonna-”

“Shhh don’t speak. You’ll only make it harder to heal”

Lilia walks in and finds this

Probably thinks this is super sweet and totally wants to leave you guys like this

But doesn’t want Malleus to suffer and you to be held on house arrest for no reason

“She’s not dying Malleus”

What? Ooooooohhhh… oops

He gets embarrassed af

Has to call back all the people he hired to prepare for your death

“Um hi there. Turns out I don’t need that jewel encrusted coffin. No no the pyramid should still be built, humans have short life spans.”

“MALLEUS!!!!”

He is so grateful you’re not dying

But would totally get pissed if you decided to smoke again

Guess that’s the end of that

[sasa-gay-yo]

Nice Side -Levi Ackerman - 200 Follower Special

Levi Ackerman - AoT - Fluff - “Be careful. Your nice side is showing.”

Warning: Slight mention of smut

❀ღ✦❁♡ッ✽❀ꕤღ✦♡❁✽ッ✧❀

Captain Levi had it about here with you and Hange’s constant teasing. Day in and day out, he would sit, three times a day, next to your asses, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and would have to fight for his life in front of the cadets. Hange and you knew how much it annoyed him, and you thrived off of it. At first, it was because you realized how flustered Levi got with anything that you said. While Hange was slap-happy comedic relief, you were the sexual-nuanced type. Levi just didn’t know how to deal with that like he could Hange and it was cute to hear him stutter just for you. Then it became addicting seeing him act like that just because of a few sentences. Seeing him blush, cough to cover his laughs or groans, and not being able to look you in the eyes while you peered at him across the table fueled you even more.

“Are you blushing right now?” You said loud enough for the closest table of cadets to hear. You heard the boys snicker. He glared at you harshly, but it didn’t affect you because Captain Levi’s cheeks were, in fact, tinted a little red.

“Stop talking to me, you nasty woman,” he muttered under his breath, referring to the comment you made about how it was the silent ones who were always the dirtiest. The topic of conversation at the officer’s table somehow always got to the track of sex, and this time it was because Hange just had a recent experience they deemed funny enough to share with the world. It had to deal with some bondage-gone-wrong situation, and while Hange, Miche, and Erwin laughed, you noticed how strongly Levi was staring at you. So, you asked him directly, knowing all too well Levi’s rope habits in the bedroom. Not only did you constantly tease him at the officer’s lunch table, but you also did it when you fell asleep in his arms at night, unknown to literally everyone else.

No, you see, what got Levi the most wasn’t that you teased him in general, it was the fact that it hinted so closely to your secret relationship that he was always shocked when things like that came out of your mouth. At one point, you were talking to Hange about your experimentation with bondage, everyone listening in not knowing that Levi was the other party involved. You were embarrassing him, and if anyone found out he would jump in a hole and stay there forever.

“Oh, come on, we all know Captain Levi devotes himself to his work. No time for play.” Erwin said, trying to save his friend from your attacks. Honestly, that made it even worse for him because you just laugh, smirk covering your face.

“You’re right, Commander. I haven’t seen you even look in the direction of a woman, Captain.” He glared again, and I just scrunched up my nose back at him. We were both Captains, so he couldn’t do anything.

“I’m sorry I’m not such a succubus like you, Captain.” You smiled, resting your head in one arm and leaning forward to get close to him. He knew from your look it was over for him and he was already thinking of how to recover.

“You think I’m a succubus, Captain? How nice. Do you want to find out?” It was seductive, knowing the way it would influence his feelings, and even Hange whistled at your tone. The other officers laughed, but a few cadets behind you, obviously Jean and Connie, whispered a bit too loud for the Captain’s liking.

“Shoot, if Captain won’t take her offer…” You looked at them out of the corner of your eye, having heard their comments over the roaring laughter of the officer’s table.

“I mean,” Jean began, “She can’t be saying all of these sexual things out loud thinking we won’t want to.” You saw Levi’s eyes go to them too, and he physically tensed up. You tapped him with your foot under the table a bit after, the conversation flowing to something about food, but he shook you off. A moment later, he stood up and walked out, and you noticed his distress. Something had been said that he didn’t like and you knew it had to be the cadet’s comments, but you couldn’t go chasing after him when everyone was looking.

It was almost an hour after the incident that Erwin was walking you back to the officer quarters. The other squads had a late-night meeting before the officers met for debrief, and you dismissed yours early before dinner, so it was just you and Erwin able to head back. You two got into a heated conversation as well, all about the possibility of other places outside the walls. You thought it to be slightly absurd because how would they not have contacted you already? He thought the titans would be a deterrent and maybe they’ve already tried. He talked about a sea, and you’ve heard Armin Arlet mention it too. It was too outside of the realm of your comprehension to think about. You were a “let’s focus on killing the titans” and not a “future without titans” kinda thinker.

“I just think we would’ve found it by now. I mean, I know we don’t go really far on expeditions, but if this sea, or whatever, is filled with salt wouldn’t we be able to smell it in the wind?” He crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling.

“Hm, well, I have to get to that part, but I know I’m right.” You rolled your eyes at him, hitting his arm lightly. You couldn’t help your personality. You were relatively open to anyone on the Scouts, and regardless, you were a touchy person in general. Everyone knew that. When the new cadets or even regular Scouts were spiraling after the death of a comrade, they would come to your office and end up destressing while you held them. Erwin was one of these people too, and Levi hated the fact that you did this. He couldn’t protest because no one knew to not lay hands on you, but it didn’t hurt any less.

But, again, he didn’t tell you this. He watched down the hallway as you and Erwin were laughing together, your hand on his arm. Levi’s one hand wrapped around the doorknob of his office, fingers turning white. Erwin noticed this too, feeling the harsh glare digging into his skin. You were too wrapped up and trying to convince him about the salt smell that you didn’t notice.

“Someone’s jealous,” Erwin mumbled, not really directed towards anyone, but you gave him a confused look before turning your head to lock eyes with Levi who was going back into his office. Shit. You knew that look. You turned back to Erwin, trying to cover up for Levi and to keep secrecy, but he held his hand up.

“I know. Go make him happier before tonight’s meeting, Captain. That’s an order... and next time remember that my office shares a wall with Captain Levi’s bedroom.” 

You opened to door to his office, and he was hunched over a pile of paperwork you knew was due in a few days. He wouldn’t normally be doing paperwork unless it was the night it was due. He also didn’t even look up at you or sit up to give you space to sit on his lap. Because of this, you had to shove your way onto his lap putting your arms around his neck. You knew he wasn’t mad at you, but he was still annoyed with the two circumstances one right after the other. He wouldn’t tell you either, but he was insecure. Why him? You two were so different in personality, but you chose him over everyone else.

“Can I help you?” He groaned as you moved your head between his arms, trying to get him to look at you. He diverted his gaze.

“Can I help you?” You asked, and he shrugged. If Levi had his way, he would just ignore this and move on in a few days, but you never let him. He already had so many other emotions bottled up and pushed into the back of his mind, you wouldn’t let him have anymore.

“Go see if Erwin needs some help with his paperwork.” You let out a small chuckle, not trying to discount his feelings, and then put your hands on either side of his face, pulling him to finally look at you. There was insecurity in his eyes and yours softened.

“I don’t want to be with Erwin. Or Jean. Or anyone else other than you, Levi. You’re the only one for me.” He paused for a second, looking right in your eyes, trying to search for even a speck of insincerity.

“Why?” He whispered and you instantly took him into your arms. You felt him let out a deep breath, knowing that those were the emotions he was holding in since dinner. His muscles also started relaxing into you.

“Because of your strength. Your leadership. Your fearlessness. Your loyalty. You also have a cute butt and it’s nice to look at during training session. Why do you think I make my team train behind you?” He let out a huff in laughter, pulling one of his arms around your waist. Levi always needed just a little reassurance and you were happy to give it to him.

“Your intellect,” you gave him a peck on the cheek, “Your resolve,” forehead, “Your compassion,” tip of the nose. He just smiled at you and gave you a quick kiss on your lips to complete the circle.

“You’re so cute, I can’t stay mad at you when you act like this.” You laughed as he buried his head in your neck, tickling you with his free hand.

“Be careful. Your nice side is showing, Captain.” You could still feel his smile on your neck as he pressed tiny kisses on your skin. It made you giggle over and over, and it was music to Levi’s ears. That’s why he kept doing it. If he had to bear your incessant teasing so he could get moments like this, he guessed it wasn’t that bad.

“I only show my nice side around you, love.” You let out a little squeal as he pushed you to the edge of his legs, almost tipping you over onto the floor. You clung to him but still squirmed as his fingers attacked your sides. It was payback for earlier, but, again, he loved to hear your laughs. He’d do anything to hear it whenever, wherever. Your laughs rang so loud, and he was so hypnotized by them, that he didn’t hear the door open. 

“Huh! I knew it! They’re in love! Everyone! Captain Levi and Captain-” 

“-Hange!” 

❀ღ✦❁♡ッ✽❀ꕤღ✦♡❁✽ッ✧❀

[weasleymalfoypotter]

i hate you (but not really) pt3

draco malfoy x fem!slytherin!potter reader

part 1 here | part 2 here

summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count: 2k

warnings: slight angst, mentions of abuse, use of ‘mudblood’ , fluff at the end, cussing i think

A/N: AHHHH thank you guys for all the love on the first two parts i’m so glad you liked it!! sorry for the slow burn but i promise it picks up in this one. i hope you guys like it and feel free to comment what you think and reblog!

i went to the great hall for breakfast and this time, i decided to tell harry, ron, and hermione what draco said. i usually sit at the gryffindor table with them anyways so it was unusual. as soon as i sat down i spoke before whatever they were talking about distracted me.

“you will never believe what draco said to me last night” harry’s face immediately contorted just by the mention of draco malfoy talking to his sister.

“draco? malfoy? what happened?” ron immediately questioned. i told them the whole encounter word for word. i wish i couldn’t capture their faces.

“he’s a bloody genius” harry stated. i raised my eyebrows at that. “he knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s just trying to mess with you” he said with a mouth full of food.

“that’s exactly what i thought, but it’s still so weird” i looked around the room and saw him sitting at the slytherin table and immediately looked back at my brother. “i would honestly rather go back to trying to jinx each other in the hallways”

“maybe he’s not messing around.” all of our heads turned towards hermione so fast i thought our necks would break. “oh gee don’t give me that look, but think about it. it may only be the second day but usually he takes the first day to make sure all muggleborns know they’re ‘inferior’ i haven’t gotten my yearly first day mudblood comment. maybe he’s not kidding, maybe he’s trying to be...better?” HA okay mione. sure. ron’s voice broke me out of my disbelief

“she’s kind of got a point. let’s wait and see what he does the rest of the week. i’d honestly rather you be subject to flirting than him indoctrinating first years with his blood superiority nonsense.” i slowly nodded in agreement. ron had a point. but it doesn’t make sense. there’s no way that draco actually likes me. i shoved it out of my mind and tried to forget about it.

“listen i’ve got to get to the library before transfiguration so i’ll see you all in hagrids class”

we said our good byes and i continued to walk and think about the book i needed before a voice interrupted me.

“talking about me during breakfast i presume” i recognized his voice instantly and when i turned my head to my left, sure enough. the unmistakable platinum blonde hair and the extra foot he had on me walking step in step with me.

“and what makes you think that?”

“the obscene amount of times i saw you mouthing my name” he spoke with a smile. of course he was enjoying this. “i don’t mind it really, i like knowing y/n potter is thinking about me” merlin if he doesn’t stop looking at me like that.

“i am not thinking about you.” i looked up at him as i said it. man he was really tall. he didn’t say anything. he just smirked. “what makes you think that i’m thinking about you? i assure that i’m not. stop looking at me like that” my eyebrows were furrowed as i spoke.

“headed to the library?” why is he changing the subject? well if i told him, he would probably follow me. but there’s no where else around here that i could pretend to be going to.

“yes i need to get a book before class”

“i’ll come with you” no.

“no” i laughed out. he turned his head to look at me and he stopped. i moved in front of him and looked up, staring straight into his eyes.

“what game are you playing draco?”

“i’m not playing a game”

“we both know that’s a lie. you’ve been weird ever since the train ride. you’ve been...flirting. it’s weird. i know you’re just trying to get under my skin so stop.” maybe i could get some answers here.

“did you ever think maybe i wasn’t playing a game? maybe i actually like you? maybe on the train i realized i don’t hate you as much as we all thought? maybe the fact that you are the only person at this school who has managed to get under my skin is because i like you?” i was at a loss for a response. he’s playing me. there’s no way he’s not. but maybe mione was right. then again, she’s always right.

“why?”

“what?”

“if you like me so much, why? you don’t know me well enough to know that you like me. you don’t know anything about me really. so why?” he scoffed, smirked, ran his hand through his hair and looked back down at me.

“you really think i don’t know anything about you?” i nodded my head and he took a breath before speaking again. “okay how’s this. i know that you absolutely love reading muggle fiction and it only takes you two days to read a 200 page book. i know you drink coffee about 3-5 times a day because you are literally an addict and if you don’t then your poor brother is usually subject to your attitude. i know that you refuse to have orange juice and bacon at the same time during breakfast and godric knows why. i know that when you’re anxious you play with your necklace but only with your left hand and you stare at the ground. i know that before a quidditch game you always take a minute to talk to your dad. i could go on and on which sounds stalkery but believe it or not, i know you.” flabbergasted. i have loved that word since i was four years old and it’s the only way to describe my current state. what the hell? i actually didn’t think it was creepy or stalkery. i thought it was sweet. “i let you think on that.” he probably caught on to the fact that i was flabbergasted and decided to let me process that. honestly i was processing not just what he said but what i felt. what do i feel? i have no idea but it’s not hatred and i thought that was all i could feel for draco malfoy. i stayed there in the hallway after he walked away until i had to get to transfiguration. he would be there.

-

for the next week it was just flirting. he wouldn’t stop flirting with me. he was relentless. i never told harry, ron, and hermione because they would probably murder draco and i would like them not to be expelled. honestly i liked it being my secret. we had enough going on right now anyways. and i’d be lying if i said he wasn’t getting to me. i’d be lying if i said i didn’t look forward to him talking to me. it was always short and i would scoff and smile and walk away. he would never flirt while other people were around but he did start to leave everyone alone. no mudblood comments, no teasing, no tripping in the hallway, no jinx’s, no pranks. he really just let everyone be.

when i got to my dorm on friday night i saw something on my bed. a piece of parchment folded in half.

meet me in the astronomy tower at 8:00

-D.M.

oh boy. what does he want? one part of me has been telling myself that he’s just bored and he’ll be done within the next week. the other part of me stats up at night wondering how i feel about this. do i like draco? i have no idea. i have a million other things to think about too. the entire world thinks that harry and i are wack jobs who just want attention, umbridge is absolutely insane, and i’ve been drained ever since i got to school and i know it’s because of the connection to death eaters. we know that draco malfoy, vincent crabbe, gregory goyle, and theodore nott all are the children of death eaters. they’re all in the same school and house as me so we’re always in the same vicinity. their connection to voldemort isnt enough to make me feel pain, but it is enough to drain me of a lot of my energy. it doesn’t help that i have quidditch, prefect duties, and a full course load with O.W.L.’s this year. so honestly i don’t know if i can be dealing with draco right now. not to mention his connection to his father is one of the reasons i’m exhausted. but i decided to go to the astronomy tower just out of curiosity.

i finally got to the top of the stairs and right on time too. he was already there, standing by the ledge just looking around, hands in his pockets. he turned when he heard my footsteps and smiled when he saw me. he opened his mouth to say something, closed it, took a breath, then began to speak.

“it’s really nice out tonight”

“yeah” i looked around. i had no idea what to talk about, but he did.

“date me” oh merlin

“what?” that escalated rather quickly.

“i said date me. you know that i like you, i know that you feel something for me, i can see it. so date me”

“draco i-“ he cut me off before i could continue

“don’t say you can’t because we both know that isn’t true”

“but i can’t”

“why?” he wasn’t upset or angry or sad. he was calm.

“because draco i have no idea how to trust you. i have no idea how to believe any of this. you have done horrible things over the years. i cant just excuse that. you have called my best friend a mudblood countless times, you’ve bullied my other best friend and his siblings for their family’s finances, you’ve tried to get hagrid fired multiple times, you tried to have buckbeack killed, i could keep going but you get the point.” i looked anywhere but him as i spoke with my voice raised just under a yell. he sighed

“do you really think i wanted to do any of that?” i looked back at him quizzically. “do you really think i believe in all that blood superiority nonsense?”

“what else am i supposed to believe draco?”

“y/n i’ve hated every bit of what i’ve done. i never wanted to do it. i don’t believe in any of that crap. it’s not an excuse but believe me i’ve hated myself for everything that i’ve done to you and your friends and i’ve wanted nothing more since first year to sit down with you four and apologize.” i was looking into his eyes as he spoke. his voice was raised and he was taking a breath. i wanted to believe him, i really did.

“then why did you do it?” he wouldn’t look at me.

“when your father beats you for telling him that the muggleborns you know aren’t bad wizards you start to do whatever he tells you. i did everything he wanted me to. whatever he expected of me, i did it. he knows everything, he knows what i do and don’t do and i’ve been terrified of him for years. so i do what he wants. i hate it but he beat it into me since i was a kid.” i didn’t know what to say. his voice was breaking and his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. but i still don’t know how to believe him.

“how do i believe that. how do i believe what your telling me?” my voice was soft. we looked into the others eyes for a moment before he took off his ring. oh. he closed the space between us, grabbed my hand and put his ring in it.

“that’s how” he still had my hand in his and i was searching his mind. he was telling the truth. for the first time ever i knew draco malfoy. everything i saw wasn’t the draco i thought i knew since first year. he was different. he was real. i turned my head up at him and he looked down at me. our eyes were locked and i reached up, pulled his face to meet mine, and kissed him.

TAGS : @idkmanicantenglish @dracoswhore007 @lordlodge

[captainpikeachu]

Booker (and the team) - trauma and healing

Because recently I have been rewatching The Haunting of Hill House and the amazing video essay done by Ladyknightthebrave (and possibly doing a Hill House AU fic with the Old Guard characters), I have been thinking a lot about the theme of trauma and grief and forgiveness in terms of how it was highlighted in the Old Guard, especially with Booker’s story. And I just really needed to talk about some of the points that Ladyknightthebrave’s video essay brings up.

“But sometimes trauma doesn’t make you sweet, or vulnerable. Sometimes it makes you mean, or it makes you cold.”

There are characters who are easy to love, those who face trauma and never did anything wrong, those who are easy to empathize or seem to be dealing with trauma in “all the right ways” that society often tells us to do.

But then you get characters like Booker. His trauma didn’t make him some “poor sweet woobie who never did anything wrong”, it didn’t make him the most vulnerable person in the world. His trauma didn’t make how he’s dealing with it so easily digestible. It made his actions sometimes mean and sometimes cold.

He violated the trust of his family, he subjected them to their worst fears, he hurt them horribly. And yet, sometimes that is how people deal with trauma. It doesn’t make what was done okay, or even justified, but it still is human, it still is an effect of the lingering trauma. 

And I think it’s important to have characters like this existing in stories. Because sometimes, often times, people don’t act like some perfect cookie cutter trauma victim. Sometimes that trauma makes you all the wrong things, and make every bad decision there is to make. And we need to still acknowledge the humanity in all of that, even if people did wrong. 

There is no one way to handle trauma, and we do not always need to make excuses or find ways to woobify people or characters for what they did. But we do need to realize why something happens, and acknowledge that trauma, and most importantly, understand.

“Trauma isn’t a contest and there is no winner, the different levels of their experiences don’t really matter when it made all of them who they are today.”

And this is another thing. Trauma should not be a competition. It should never be about who has more trauma or less trauma. Trauma is trauma. All of our Old Guard characters have trauma. The different levels of their trauma don’t really matter because all of that made them who they are. Whether large or small, it still affected them, and they cannot just be dismissed when talking about a character’s actions and motivations.

In Booker’s case, you cannot remove his actions from the reality of his trauma. They are intertwined. It doesn’t matter if you think he should have “gotten over” the loss of his family or not, it doesn’t matter if you think other people lose loved ones all the time and still handle it well, his trauma still happened, still exists, and still effects him in damaging ways. That sadness and grief made him who he is in the story, it drove his every action, even the horrible ones.

“These characters spend so long bottling up their emotions, and their anger, and not listening to each other, and when they finally start actually talking and listening, they start to heal...”

Here is the thing. I don’t think this team, this family, has ever truly sat down and actually started talking honestly to each other about all of their emotions and really listened to each other. They likely didn’t think they needed to talk about it, they trusted each other implicitly, that’s just how things are, it’s destiny, and they took it for granted. And THAT is why Booker’s betrayal completely blind-sides them. 

There’s over 200 years of misery, grief, and trauma all bottled up inside Booker just jumping for the chance to leave this immortality train, and Andy, Joe, and Nicky simply never saw it coming. Not even one inkling that Booker can’t handle the life they are leading. 

And something of that has to speak to the state of their non-communication honestly in these matters. And no, I’m not saying this is Andy, Joe, and Nicky’s fault. It isn’t. Booker was not honest with them either. But the fact remains that this inability to communicate their emotions honestly and bottling things up and letting the warning signs slide by, it set the stage and culminated in this massive betrayal that nearly destroys them.

And yet it is because of this betrayal that finally the floodgates of honesty is open, everything is out on the table, they actually have to listen and talk and deal with what is going on instead of just living their usual life and letting it all go by for hundreds of years. And that 100-year exile, that discussion at the pub, that is the beginning of them really healing.

“Here’s a tough pill to swallow: people in your life will hurt you, in little and big ways. Your family, your friends, or your significant others. And you will hurt them. Because people are imperfect broken things, and everyone is carrying around scars from something, and that damage might cause you or those around you to do regrettable things. What can define you is how you deal with that hurt. You can hang on to it bitterly for years, you can deny the parts of it that are too painful, you can try to put the pain away, or simply lose yourself to it. Or you can finally talk to one another, and listen, like really listen, until you can accept it and move on. There’s no right way to forgive somebody, and some people don’t necessarily deserve your forgiveness.”

And this is the truth isn’t it.

Booker is imperfect. The team is imperfect. They are all carrying scars from something, and in Booker’s case, his scars caused him to do this horribly regrettable thing to the people he loves. He was extremely ill-equipped to be able to deal with the cards he was dealt with in life.

But what will define Booker, Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Nile is how they deal with that hurt. And they’ve finally reached the part where they are really talking and listening to each other, no longer just hanging onto things bitterly or denying the painful reality or try to drink it away or lose themselves to the darkness. They finally have to face this reality, accept it, and find a way to move on honestly.

There is no right way to forgive someone, maybe 100 years isn’t enough, maybe it is enough, or maybe Booker doesn’t necessarily even deserve forgiveness. But that is something each of them have to confront and deal with, and something that they now can deal with honestly because there is no hiding the truth anymore, they have all been laid bare by what happened. There is no more lies, only the truth.

How they all heal is now up to each of them.

-----------------------------------

Also, there is one moment in the Haunting of Hill House that I think really speaks to the conflict within Booker when it comes to being a parent and dealing with his grief, and this moment happens in a conversation between the two main parental characters: one desperately clinging to their children even to the point of killing them to keep them safe, and the other understanding that being a parent sometimes means letting your children go

“Even if they’re broken, or addicted, or joyless, or even if they die, we have to watch it all because we’re parents and that’s the deal we make, whatever that life is we bear witness.”

“It’s a horror.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Booker still sees it as a horror. The loss of his children. Their hate. Their despair. He is unable to see that it doesn’t have to be a horror. 

I don’t know if he will ever be able to see that. But I think reaching an understanding of that is the first step in him being able to forgive himself and to find a way to heal, even if his family may not forgive him yet.

After all, he has to want to get better for himself, not for someone else.

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, for Dummies p1

a/n: plz love me and go easy. i haven’t written anything since dodos were alive....

You were new to the “fam”. The Doctor picked you up randomly like a stray. Not that you minded most days. It felt like transfering to a school in March: the middle of the semester. And much like high school, friends groups were already formed. Hell, you couldn’t believe that Yaz and the Doc weren’t slamming each other against the walls and making out running down corridors and such. 

Graham especially treated you well. Like a pottering but wicked smart granddad. Ryan too, you could bond over basketball and other fun stuff. But still. A second out of step. Any time you had these thoughts, you shoved it down and cursed not totally growing out of your middle school “I’m not like other girls!” mindset. Which, what the fuck? You were a grown ass woman. 

“Y/N?” the Doctor said waving a hand in front of you, snapping you from your reverie as you came to the present. You are on Gallifrey and there’s some psycho of the week- named the Master looking ferally at you all like he was planning what bathtub you’d wake up in with a kidney missing. You totally zoned out. The Wii Mii music might as well be what plays when you enter a room. 

Shaking yourself you tried to size up the current threat. So- this is where the Doctor’s from? No bad considering it looked like a mix between Dresden after the bombing and Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It had lots of open fields. Big skies. Plenty of sunlight from two burning suns so no “When the street lights kick on, you come back in!” The image of a tiny little blonde baby-Doc bobbing around chasing space fireflies was cute. 

Damn reveries. 

“Be afraid Doctor!” He said five minutes earlier. 

How could anyone be afraid of that. Sure when swapping past stories they told you he was crazy and killed people. The grunting he made coming through the portal was not something fearful. They were oddly sexual. The Doctor’s greatest enemy? Was right before you?

“I should have had more coffee!” You whined under your breath. Honestly. All this running, you didn’t know if you needed to mainline Folger’s or get one of those dorky water packs suburban white dads had for hiking.

This fucker grinned at that. “You’re funny!” He giggled pointing at you. Figures he had like, super sonic hearing. “You didn’t tell me you had funny little humans with you this time!” 

“Hilarious dude! Can you even reach the shelves in the grocery store?” It was a pithy attempt at humor. The man had no right calling humans small. 

He laughed and looked like he was debating killing you. He gave a resounding twirlin’ and then went onto monologue as if he were written by Joss Wheden. Mainly at the Doctor. But he kept glancing over at you. Yaz and Ryan were obviously acting on primal instinct of figuring how to take the Master down and Graham looked half bored. They’d met him before. Graham looked like he was just waiting for it to be done. Graham was chill. Reliable. He didn’t fly off the handle as much as the rest of you all. He was older. He was one margarita away from becoming a Parrothead. You liked that. 

The Master’s glances felt disarming. Like he’d already seen you without your clothing. Not that it felt like a bad thing. He wasn’t unattractive as far as aliens went. Actually, kind of hot. The kind of hot you’d go for if it wasn’t for the fact he was massively evil, tried to kill all humans, and is currently being a bastard to your close friends. Something unique about his clapping. You did that when you were over excited. 

He was dashing. 

His eyes were large and just drew you in, mentally you knew every time he glanced over. Like he wanted to let you know it was for you and you alone. And he was fit, still soft. Something about the soft jaw, slight roundness to thighs and slight slouch of the tummy. The swagger and toothy grins? His skin looked soft and nice too. Crazy fashion sense. Maybe the inability to dress yourself was a Time Lord thing? 

G-d, those lips, so round and full and a nice color. You shoved a thought about, other parts being that color away. Were you really here, having a team huddle, imagining the evil bad man’s cock? Desperation, party of one. You hadn’t been laid in a long time, but really?

“Y/N!” Yaz asked as you looked over and the Master smirked directly at you, like he knew you were trying to picture his cock at that moment. “What do you think?”

You groaned, “I don’t know!” your voice peaked a hoarse few octaves. The Master had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even touch you. 

“He seems mega powerful.” You throw your hands out to exaggerate. He turned and pointed you out, “You have no idea what powers I have.”

“Man, shut the fuck up, or I’m gunna hit you.” You said plainly. Your eyes rolled back into your skull. You were suddenly your normal self again. He was just some dude, like any you’d see on the streets trying to undermine your confidence or get you to give him the time of day.

“No you won’t.” And he was right. 

So you all just followed the lead of your fearless leader, the Doctor…

_________________________3 Weeks Later __________________________

You were back home. It was Corona Time. And definitely not the fun kind. You were worried absolutely sick. Was the Doctor alive? What about Gallifrey? What was all of that? So many questions raced through your quarantined mind. That and a few errant daydreams about the Master taking you with what you assumed had to be a massive cock. What was that overused phrase you’d seen the internet use? Big Dick Energy? The man had got to have had a set of cojones on him for the amount.

You couldn’t shake that son of a bitch from your mind. 

He was hauntingly attractive. But evil. You were in a moral panic 24/7. You felt like those soulfully pained eyes followed you around your house all the time. 

You were trying to focus on finding work from home jobs that were legitimate. You gave up your career to run around and play 5th wheel and now you were paying. Shelter inside? More like buying lots of unneeded skincare to fill a new void in you.

You were just ready to click “apply” on Indeed when those asthmatic engine noises started pounding in your yard. Was that the Doctor? Saving you from going insane and buying the 200 plus dollars in your cart on DHC’s webstore. 

No, you didn’t see a kitschy blue box, but a stately match for your shed, but nicer. 

Who should appear? But the rat bastard himself. 

Boy, you were so screwed.

Suddenly he smiled politely and waved at you through the window. He pointed at your back door and was asking to be let in. 

Cautiously you opened the window. “Go away, Master.” 

“Is that polite to say? I’m your first visitor in weeks and you shove me-” He faux-shocked put his hand over his mouth “away?” You couldn’t tell if he was faking being insulted or for reals.

“I’d shove Timmy down a well if he killed my best friend and all her people.”

“Let me in, I just want to talk.” He opened his hand like he was caught red handed. 

You slammed the window down harder than probably recommended. You felt the slam’s noise in your jaw. He’d get the message maybe. Or maybe you’d let him in and pin his ass to the living room carpet. Choices, choices. You went back and clicked ‘place order’, your bank account app dinged and said you had less than fifty dollars left. No one was going nowhere so it didn’t matter. You finished your tea in a few gulps. You made your choice. 

Opening up the window, you shouted “Take off your jacket and place all of your weapons and your TARDIS key on the patio. Shoes too. Toss them into the Rose of Sharon.” You’d be damned if he was gonna kill you in your own house, surrounded by your own possessions, in your own damn town. 

“What’s a Rose of Sharon Y/N?” He asked, genuinely confused. “It’s the dead bush that’s claimed the entire ramp up to my patio…” Sighing you pointed at it. 

He giggled and obliged. 

Always giggling. 

He knocked as you were rooting for your sharpest whatever you could find. You opened the door and ushered him in. Almost comically, you began patting him down and weidling your weapon of choice. Excellent ass, you had to admit. Soft, yet firm. 

“Having a good feel, love?” He asked as you were admiring it. 

“Hey, you never know…” You off-brand sighed. He was nice to touch. It was addictive. 

He paced around your home, looking at the photos of you and your family. The stack of bills in boxes, your life. Like he was examining art in a museum. 

“I don’t appreciate you fondling my fruit.” You said when he’d made his way into your kitchen. 

He grinned, “Isn’t it customary for you humans to offer a beverage or a snack to guests?” 

Massaging your temples you handed him one of those nutri grain granola bars that crumble everywhere and a can of Coke. 

“Not very much, huh?” 

“There's a pandemic out there you dense motherfucker!” You shouted almost singing the words “pandemic” and “motherfucker”, throwing your arms upwards for examples.

You felt like you could swear around him. With the rest of your current social circle you felt like there was a PG-13 limit to your speech. 

“Forgive me.” He rolled his eyes. Tit for tat matching you. He leaned heavy on his seat and opened up the can and drank politely. You almost believed him

“So why are you here?” sitting down across from him cracking your finger joints and wrists out of habit. “Run out of people to piss off in space?” 

“Oh, always plenty there.” 

You snorted. 

“You seem very sure of yourself. Different from her other little pets.” He said. “Or, is it just a show…” He bore directly into your soul. “I’d believe it.” You glared at him, still holding your weapon, sure it wasn’t much. But to quote a legend “That’s my purse, I don’t know you!”

“You know what they say when you assume…” You put it out there.

“I don’t know!” He fumed on a hairpin notice. “Something about a donkey!”

“Relax, Jeeze.” You let out a nervous chuckle.

He grinned that megawatt, perfectly white smile with teeth better than most Hollywood actors. 

“You’re bored.” He observed.

“I’ve been confined in my house for three weeks.” You stated.

“What if...you weren’t.” He weighed the words out. Almost physically with his hands. G-d those hands. How soaked in blood were they? But how dexterous were they? You swatted away thoughts of how nice they’d be buried in you, “Oy, gevalt!” You said. Noticing you had been staring at his fingertips for a second too long…

“You seem distracted...Is it me? Is the Doctor’s little pet wanting to try out some real leadership?” He mocked, but there was some other little tone to it. Care? Amusement? Yearning? A combination of all four? Who knows. You didn’t.

His eyes had the most whimsical gorgeous glow, and his eyelashes had the most attractive flutter.

“Ya caught me!” You barked with all the false sarcasm you could feign. 

“Oh, I promise that I won’t blow up any planets, kick any orphans, wreck a ship carrying puppies and kittens for adoption... I’ll just show you the real way to see the stars. None of that running through corridors and fighting for your life. The way it should be seen.” He said, his nice waistcoat coated in crumbs. 

“Or are you a coward? Afraid to see the other side of the coin? Y/N.” You were inherently a little bit of a coward. He crooked a crooked grin.

You pondered and helped yourself to an apple. Hoping that he’d see your teeth and that’d be another layer of “Don’t fuck with me, Please!” Though you desperately almost craved to be fucked with at this point.

You pause and consider this, is it betrayal? To follow your instincts and go off with a literal madman instead of your new “fam” because and called you on your self-sure bullshit?

“Is she alive? Is the Doctor alive?” You pleaded. A bit of tears threatening to come up.

“Yes, of course.” He assured you. It was very comforting. He slowly grabbed at your hand. “I may not be a man of a lot of truths, but I’ll tell you this. She always somehow comes out on top. It’s frustrating.” The warmth was real in his voice and in his eyes.

You closed your eyes and willed yourself sane. But the little nagging at your core said to. Give in, give up. Go with him. 

“‘Kay.” You nodded. Suddenly sullen. “I’ll go.” The smile you gave was tired and you got up. You were almost shaking. He touched you and you came undone. This was not healthy. You’d blame the self-isolation, but deep down you knew it went deeper. Your jaw was trembling a bit. Self-preservation was gone. 

You screwed yourself up again and poked a finger on his chest. “Try anything funny that gets me killed and I’m stabbing you.” 

“No, you won’t.” This time, it was an order. An order wrapped in velvet and coated in chocolate.

You turned to go pack and he grabbed at your wrist. “No, you don't need that. I got a wardrobe department worthy of choice.” He grabbed at his shirt and brandished his look. 

“Fine.” You said. So tired, but feeling more alive than you had in years at once. 

Grabbing your hand and all his stuff out of your yard he pulled you into his TARDIS and it left. Off to the next….

[the-white-trash-wheelborrow]

C-man Episode #01

C-MAN

Chapter One

C-man is the self proclaimed hero of the story. C-man was once an average individual like you and I, well almost. C-man was Clyde Atkings, a simple, tall obese man, who lived with his mother. Clyde eventually had to get a job at age 27 after his mother died and her social security ran out. Clyde was now a slick, in his mind, venetian blind salesman. His very bad temper and poor peoples skills helped him sell no blinds at all. After three years Clyde was in debt having sold nothing and was in need of escape. Escape for him was to throw himself in the path of an oncoming vehicle, a chemical truck. This truck was carrying very foul liquids on this day. After slamming into Clyde the truck veered off the road and tipped, pouring the toxins all over his mangled body. In a month Clyde was out of the hospital and as good as new, the chemicals had hastened his recovery. Although, Clyde had lost all grip on reality, and his IQ dropped 1/3, he has three times his original strength. Clyde thought for sure this was a blessing from Jesus himself, he vowed he would do good. Clyde was now C-man, short for Chemical man. C was easier to have printed on a T shirt. C-man found an apartment in his price range, a shed. C-man also found a sidekick Smart Bob. Smart bob is a 5’ 5” tall 95lbs little man. Smart Bob, whose real name is Robert Thimple, was found by C-man in a dumpster behind Burger King. Smart Bob was a former math teacher who lost everything after becoming addicted to sniffing super glue. C-man hoped Smart Bob could be the brains of the operation.

Volume #1

(C-man)

(C-MAN HAS JUST GOTTEN EVERYTHING SET UP THAT HE THINKS HE WILL NEED FOR THE FIGHTING OF CRIME. C-MAN HAS WHAT HE REFERS TO AS “HIS CRIME FIGHTING

HEADQUARTERS”, WHICH IS A SMALL TIN SHED ON A SMALL PIECE OF LAND IN A RUN DOWN PART OF TOWN. THIS IS ALSO WHERE HE LIVES. C-MAN HAS RAN AN AD IN THE PAPER TELLING OF HIS CRIME FIGHTING SERVICES. C-MAN AND HIS NEW, TRUSTY, SIDEKICK ARE SITTING BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL)

C-MAN- this is great, I’m so excited, any minute now someone will call in need of our help

(FIVE HOURS LATER C-MAN IS STILL STARING AT THE PHONE. SMART BOB IS READING THE PAPER. C-MAN NOTICES SUPER GUY ON THE COVER PAGE OF THE PAPER AND YANKS IT AWAY FROM SMART BOB. SMART BOB TRIES TO TAKE THE PAPER BACK AND GETS BACKHANDED TO THE FLOOR)

C-MAN- who’s this silly bastard wearing the goofy clothing?

(SMART BOB PICKS HIMSELF UP OFF THE FLOOR AND SITS BACK IN HIS CHAIR)

SMART BOB- you’re not exactly color coordinated yourself.

(C-MAN LOOKS AT HIMSELF, HE IS WEARING ORANGE SHORTS, A CHEAP LOOKING T SHIRT THAT SAYS C-MAN ON IT, A CAPE MADE OUT OF A BED SHEET AND HIKING BOOTS, HE THEN LOOKS AT SMART BOB, HE IS DRESSED NORMAL EXCEPT HE IS WEARING A CHEAP T SHIRT THAT SAYS SB REAL BIG ON IT)

C-MAN- do you want to get more practice picking yourself up off the floor?

SMART BOB- no.

C-MAN- answer the fucking question then, geek.

SMART BOB- the guy in the paper is Super Guy.

C-MAN- I’ll just read this article and see what all the fuss is about.

SMART BOB- either that or wait till they come out with newspapers on cassette.

C-MAN- WATCH YOUR MOUTH!

(C-MAN TAKES SOME TIME TO READ THE ARTICLE)

C-MAN- DAMN HIM, with him always saving children from burning buildings and protecting old people from muggers. Nobodies going to need me! This guy is hard to beat, what makes him so popular, what’s he got that I haven’t got?

SMART BOB- well for starters, I doubt he lives in a tin shed.

C-MAN- Hey, it keeps the rain off your head... if you know where to stand, and besides, this is only temporary. What else makes him so special?

SMART BOB- He also has a cool car.

C-MAN- I have a car.

SMART BOB- It’s a pea green, 4 door, Rambler, and it smokes like hell. If you stopped driving it the pollution level in this city would go down 5%.

C-MAN- It just needs a tune up.

SMART BOB- It needs rings, a head gasket, a new transmission, a new body, new brakes. The door latches fixed, the three windows put back on track....

C-MAN- SHUT UP! I like that car, it was my grandma’s car. She gave it to me after she died.

SMART BOB- Did she choke to death in it?

C-MAN- I’m not going to warn you again, watch what you say. Lets get back to our problem. How are we going to beat Super Guy’s popularity?

SMART BOB- There’s no way we can compete, not with him around.

C-MAN- Oh, that settles it, that only leaves us one choice, we’ll just have to kill him.

SMART BOB- WHAT? Nobody has been able to hurt him. How are we going to stop him? The only thing that even affects him is aluminum.

C-MAN- I think you just answered you own question.

(THE NEXT DAY)

(SMART BOB IS DOWN TOWN STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK FACING A BUILDING. SUPER GUY FLIES UP AND LANDS BESIDE HIM)

SUPER GUY- Pardon me kind citizen. I couldn’t help noticing you urinating on the side of this public building. Could you explain yourself?

SMART BOB- Ya’, ugh sorry, I have a bladder control problem and I didn’t know where the nearest public restroom was.

SUPER GUY- An honest mistake, let me point one out to you, for future reference.

(SUPER GUY TURNS HIS BACK TO SMART BOB TO POINT OUT A NEARBY RESTROOM. AS SOON AS HE DOES C-MAN RUNS UP AND CLUBS SUPER GUY OVER THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A PIECE OF ALUMINUM SIDING. AFTER SUPER GUY COLLAPSES C-MAN CONTINUES TO BEAT HIM UNTIL HE IS SURE THAT SUPER GUY IS DEAD)

C-MAN- That solved that.

(SMART BOB WIPES BLOOD OFF THAT WAS SPLATTERED ON HIS FACE WHILE SUPER GUY WAS BEING SAVAGELY BEATEN BY C-MAN)

SMART BOB- I just help you beat someone to death, I feel dirty.

(C-MAN PUTS HIS ARM AROUND SMART BOB’S SHOULDERS)

C-MAN- Come on... I’ll buy you some ice cream.

(SMART BOB’S EYES LIGHT UP)

SMART BOB- What about a Sunday?

C-MAN- I don’t have that kind of money. Check Super Guy’s pockets it may be his treat.

(SMART BOB CHECKS AND FINDS A TWENTY)

SMART BOB- Look, look, a twenty! Just like the rich people carry!

C-MAN- Well wipe all the blood off of it and lets go!

(THEY RUN OFF)

(A WEEK LATER)

(C-MAN HAS RAN A MUCH LARGER AD. THEY ARE WAITING BY THE PHONE WITH HIGHER HOPES. THE PHONE RINGS AND C-MAN QUICKLY ANSWERS IT.)

C-MAN- Ya’, ya’, okay.

(C-MAN HANGS UP THE PHONE)

SMART BOB- What was it?

C-MAN- It sounded like an old woman. She has a cat stuck in a tree again and the fire department is tired of going down there. This looks like a job for C-MAN!

(AT A RETIREMENT HOUSING AREA)

(A 90 YEAR OLD WOMAN IS STANDING OUT BY A TREE, LOOKING UP WORRIEDLY. C-MAN AND SMART BOB COME UP)

C-MAN- DO NOT FEAR C-MAN IS HERE!

OLD LADY- What did you say... you’re a queer?

(C-MAN BRINGS HIS FIST BACK GETTING READY TO KNOCK THE OLD LADY OUT. SMART BOB GRABS HIS FIST.)

SMART BOB- She probably can’t hear.

OLD LADY- What about deer?

C-MAN- This is already pissing me off.

SMART BOB- I SAID, YOU PROBABLY CAN’T HEAR!

OLD LADY- What?

(C-MAN POINTS UP TO THE TOP OF THE TREE. THE TREE IS FLIMSY AND ABOUT FIFTEEN FEET TALL)

C-MAN- YOUR CAT STUCK UP THERE?

OLD LADY- Of course not, my cat is stuck up there.

(THE OLD LADY POINTS TO THE EXACT SAME, TREE C-MAN LOOKS AT SMART BOB)

C-MAN- You should have let me punch here. She’s fucking with me.

OLD LADY- Could you get my kitty, I’ll pay whatever you want.

C-MAN- Okay, Smart Bob climb that tree and get the cat.

(SMART BOB STARTS TO CLIMB UP AND FALLS BACK DOWN AND THEN JUST LAYS THERE)

SMART BOB- I can’t move. It hurts.

C-MAN- I guess I’ll just have to do this myself.

(C-MAN CLIMBS ALMOST TO THE TOP OF THE TREE AND CAN ALMOST REACH THE CAT. THE TREE STARTS TO LEAN, IT BOWS OVER UNTIL IT SLAMS C-MAN’S BACK TO THE GROUND. C-MAN STILL HAS HOLD OF THE TREE AND IS TRYING TO GET THE CAT TO JUMP DOWN TO THE GROUND.)

C-MAN- Here kitty, come here.

(C-MAN LOOSES HIS GRIP ON THE TREE JUST AS THE CAT WAS READY TO JUMP OFF. THE TREE SPRINGS BACK UP TO IT’S ORIGINAL UPRIGHT POSITION AND CATAPULTS THE CAT ABOUT 500 FT AWAY. )

C-MAN- SHIT!

OLD WOMAN- Is there a problem, sonny?

C-MAN- NO! No problem at all. As soon as your cat calms down I’ll hand it back to you, I’ll be right back.

(C-MAN RUNS OVER TO HIS RAMBLER AND TAKES OUT A FUZZY THROW PILLOW THAT HAS BEEN IN THERE SINCE JUNE OF 1972. C-MAN TAKES THE PILLOW BACK OVER, PETTING IT. HE THEN HANDS IT TO THE OLD WOMAN.)

C-MAN- Here you go mam. That will be $200, Smart Bob, get up.

OLD WOMAN- Shhh, I think kitty is taking a nap.

(THE NEXT DAY)

( C-MAN AND SMART BOB ARE BACK IN THE C-SHED. SMART BOB IS WORKING ON SOME KIND OF NEW INVENTION TO HELP THEM WITH THEIR CRIME FIGHTING NEEDS. C-MAN IS LOOKING THROUGH THE PAPER AND POUTING)

C-MAN- I can’t believe that old woman only had $100.

SMART BOB- She offered us sex.

C-MAN- Ya’, and you were going to take her up on the offer too. You sick bastard.

SMART BOB- What?

C-MAN- She had to have had more money than that. She probably had $500 worth of medication in her purse. I should have took it and kept it until I got my other $100.

(C-MAN LOOKS BACK AT THE PAPER, FINDS SOMETHING HE DOESN’T LIKE AND SLAMS IT DOWN ON THE SMALL TABLE)

C-MAN- LOOK AT THIS PAPER!

SMART BOB- I’m busy, I’ll look at it later.

(C-MAN WALKS OVER TO WHERE SMART BOB IS, GRABS HIM BY THE HAIR, DRAGS HIM OVER, AND SLAMS HIS FACE DOWN ON THE TABLE WHERE THE PAPER IS)

C-MAN- Could you please look at the paper?

(SMART BOB ANSWERS IN A MUFFLED VOICE BECAUSE HIS FACE IS BEING PRESSED AGAINST THE TABLE)

SMART BOB- Yes.

C-MAN- Was that hard?

(C-MAN LETS GO OF SMART BOB’S HEAD, SMART BOB DROPS TO THE FLOOR)

C-MAN- Sid you see what it said?

SMART BOB- I missed that.

C-MAN- It says new super hero wanna be calling himself C-man swindled an old woman out of $100 dollars. If I find the bastard who wrote this he’s getting shot in the face’

(LATER THAT DAY)

(C-MAN IS SITTING AT THE TABLE STARING AT THE CEILING. SMART BOB IS STILL WORKING ON SOMETHING. THE PHONE RINGS AND SMART BOB ANSWERS IT)

SMART BOB- Yes, yes, I’ll tell him... bye.

C-MAN- Who was it, was it the police chief thanking me for my help saving the kitty?

SMART BOB- No, actually it was the neighbors next door. They want you stop going out and getting the paper naked.

C-MAN- Those bastards, I can’t do anything right by them!

(C-MAN RUNS OVER TO THE WINDOW, BREAKS OUT THE GLASS AND UNLOADS HIS 9MM AT RANDOM AT THE NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE. A WOMAN SCREAMS BACK FROM OUTSIDE)

WOMAN- YOU SHOT MY DOG IN THE REAR END!

(C-MAN YELLS BACK)

C-MAN- I THOUGHT I WAS SHOOTING YOU IN THE FACE, I GUESS I GOT CONFUSED!

(WOMAN YELLS BACK)

WOMAN- JUST WAIT TILL MY HUSBAND COMES HOME!

C-MAN- I’LL SHOOT THAT FUCKER TOO!

(C-MAN TRIES TO SHOOT AT HER MORE BUT HE IS OUT OF BULLETS. HE IS SO MAD HE IS SHAKING UNCONTROLLABLY)

SMART BOB- Would you like some oatmeal?

C-MAN- FUCK YOU TOO!

(C-MAN TIPS THE TABLE OVER, GOES TO THE CORNER OF THE C-SHED, SITS DOWN, AND CRIES. SMART BOB TURNS THE SCANNER UP AND HEARS SOMETHING ABOUT VENDING MACHINES BEING BROKEN INTO AT THE SUPER OVERSIZED SUPER MARKET. C-MAN HEARS IT TOO, HE WIPES THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES AND JUMPS UP)

C-MAN- Smart Bob, to the C-mobile.

(C-MAN AND SMART BOB ARE DRIVING AROUND THE LARGE PARKING LOT OF THE SUPER OVERSIZED SUPER MARKET. THEY ARE CRUISING PAST THE LARGE ROWS OF VENDING MACHINES TRYING TO FIND THE THIEF. SMART BOB SPOTS HIM UP AHEAD BREAKING THE LOCK ON A MACHINE)

SMART BOB- THERE HE IS!

(C-MAN TRIES TO STOP, FORGETTING THE BRAKES ARE OUT, THE CAR SQUEAKS AND COASTS PAST THE THIEF. THE THIEF WATCHES THE CAR COAST PAST AND THEN GOES BACK TO HIS WORK. THE C-MOBILE COASTS UNTIL IT SLAMS INTO A COUPLE PARKED CARS. C-MAN AND SMART BOB HAVE TO CRAWL OUT OF THE BACK DRIVER SIDE WINDOW BECAUSE ALL OF THE DOOR LATCHES ARE BROKE AND IT’S THE ONLY WINDOW THAT WILL ROLL DOWN. THEY THEN WALK OVER TO THE THIEF)

C-MAN- HALT, lawbreaker!

THIEF- Kiss my ass, chunky.

(C-MAN PULLS HIS GUN OUT AND SHOOTS THE THIEF IN THE LEG. HE DROPS AND STOLEN CHANGE FLIES EVERYWHERE)

C-MAN- Why do people always have to make fun of my weight?

SMART BOB- I think our work here is done.

(A MAN IN A BASEBALL UNIFORM RUNS UP HOLDING A BAT)

B-BAT MAN- Never fear, baseball bat man is here. I heard the shooting, I thought I could be some help.

C-MAN- Smart Bob, who’s this freak?

SMART BOB- He’s a crime fighter from New York. He’s good. I heard he’s here to take Super Guy’s place

(C-MAN QUICKLY PUTS HIS GUN TO B-BAT MAN’S HEAD AND MAKES HIM GET IN THE TRUNK OF THE RAMBLER AND CLOSES IT. B-BAT MAN YELLS FROM THE TRUNK)

B-BAT MAN- YOU’RE JUST AFRAID I’LL KICK YOUR FAT, BLOATED, ASS!

(C-MAN TAKES HIS GUN OUT UNLOADS HIS GUN AT THE TRUNK. SMART BOB RUNS AND DIVES FEARING A BULLETS WILL HIT THE GAS TANK.)

SMART BOB- You killed him.

C-MAN- He pissed me off.

SMART BOB- Oh, that will stand up in court.

(C-MAN WALKS OVER TO THE THIEF WHO IS NOW LAYING THERE, SCARED AND BLEEDING)

C-MAN- When they ask you who stopped you tell them C-man. Okay?

THIEF- Ya, ya, whatever you say.

(C-MAN AND SMART BOB CRAWL BACK IN THE RAMBLER AND PUTT AWAY)

(THE NEXT MORNING)

(SMART BOB IS WOKEN BY THE SOUND OF C-MAN WHISTLING HAPPILY OUT IN THE DRIVEWAY, BASICALLY THE YARD. SMART BOB GETS UP OUT OF THE RICKETY BUNK BED, AND WALKS OUTSIDE TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON. HE SEES C-MAN IN A VERY GOOD MOOD WITH A LARGE ROLL OF DUCT TAPE, HE IS STANDING BY THE RAMBLER.)

C-MAN- Look what I just got.

(C-MAN POINTS TO THE GROUND)

SMART BOB- It’s a railroad tie.

C-MAN- No, look harder.

SMART BOB- I don’t know.

C-MAN- It’s a C-ram.

SMART BOB- Oh, what are you going to do with that?

C-MAN- What are you, stupid? Can’t you figure it out? I’m going to duct tape it to the hood of the C-mobile.

SMART BOB- And after that, what are you going to do?

C-MAN- Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to ram stuff with it.

SMART BOB- Are you serious? When we hit that squirrel last week I think we bent the frame.

C-MAN- Shut up and do something useful. Bring me some kool aid.

(SMART BOB WALKS BACK INSIDE AND GOES OVER TO THE SMALL CAMPER REFRIGERATOR. SMART BOB LOOKS IN)

SMART BOB- We’re out of kool aid.

(C-MAN IMMEDIATELY STOPS WHAT HE’S DOING AND RUNS INSIDE)

C-MAN- WHAT?

SMART BOB- You heard me, I said...

(C-MAN SHOVES SMART BOB OUT OF THE WAY, KNOCKING HIM TO THE FLOOR. C-MAN THEN PICKS THE REFRIGERATOR UP OVER HIS HEAD AND SHAKES EVERYTHING OUT OF IT. AFTER ALL THE STUFF THAT WAS IN THE SMALL REFRIGERATOR IS ON THE FLOOR C-MAN GETS DOWN ON HIS HANDS A KNEES AND SORTS THROUGH EVERYTHING)

C-MAN- SHIT! I NEED SOME KOOL AID!

SMART BOB- Don’t you think you’re being a little impulsive?

C-MAN- You’ll see impulsive when I strangle you to death from lack of kool aid.

SMART BOB- Okay, lets go to the store then.

C-MAN- I’ll finish the car up real quick.

(C-MAN TAPES THE RAILROAD TIE ON THE HOOD, THEN THEY CRAWL IN THE BACK WINDOW OF THE CAR AND PUTT AWAY. THE CAR SPINS A LITTLE IN THE GRASS WHEN IT IS LEAVING AND CMAN LOOKS OVER AT SMART BOB, WHO IS SITTING ON THE PASSENGER SIDE)

C-MAN- You like all that power, don’t you?

SMART BOB- Ya’, sure, whatever, just don’t hit me again.

C-MAN- If we see any wrong do’ers I’m going to cripple their cars with the... C-ram!

SMART BOB- You’re going to cripple us.

(SMART BOB STARTS PULLING ON THE SEAT BELT TO PUT IT ON, IT WON’T BUDGE)

C-MAN- Pussy.

(SMART BOB KEEPS TUGGING ON THE SEAT BELT HOPING IT WILL UNLOCK)

C-MAN- Did you see that?

SMART BOB- Did some cholesterol fall out of your ear?

C-MAN- That guy in that sporty looking Pinto just ran a stop sign.

SMART BOB- I can’t believe you used the words “sporty” and “Pinto” together.

C-MAN- It has racing stripes on it.

SMART BOB- Whoopty shit.

C-MAN- No matter, he broke the law.

SMART BOB- We’re breaking the law driving a car with no brakes.

C-MAN- HE BROKE THE LAW, I HAVE TO STOP HIM!

SMART BOB- Your face is going to have some breaks soon.

(C-MAN GETS BEHIND THE PINTO)

SMART BOB- What are you going to do?

C-MAN- I’m gonna’ ram him, then arrest him.

(SMART BOB JUMPS IN THE BACK SEAT AND HIDES IN THE FLOORBOARD)

C-MAN- This one is going to be hard to catch.

(SMART BOB LOOKS UP AT THE SPEEDOMETER FROM THE BACK)

SMART BOB- We’re only going 50 MPH.

C-MAN- I know, but he keeps pulling away, and I’ve got this hot rod floored.

(THE PINTO COMES TO A COMPLETE STOP AT AN INTERSECTION)

SMART BOB- SLOW DOWN!

(C-MAN TRIES TO SLOW DOWN BUT THE BRAKES DO NOTHING. THE C-MOBILE SLAMS INTO THE BACK OF THE PINTO. THIS CAUSES THE RAILROAD TIE THAT WAS TAPED THE HOOD TO GET SHOVED BACK THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD OF THE C-MOBILE, ALMOST DECAPITATING SMART BOB WHO DUCKED OUT OF THE WAY JUST IN TIME, AND THEN FLIES THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW. AFTER THAT IT HITS THE ROAD AND SKIPS A FEW TIMES BEFORE IT FINALLY STOPS. THIS DOESN’T EVEN STUN C-MAN, HE LEANS FORWARD THROUGH WHERE THE WINDSHIELD USED TO BE AND YELLS AT THE GUY IN FRONT OF HIM)

C-MAN- HALT LAWBREAKER!

GUY IN CAR- Leave me alone, freak!

C-MAN- HUH? I COULDN’T HEAR YOU EVER MY MOTOR KNOCKING!

GUY IN CAR- BACK OFF, OR I’LL SHOOT YOU WITH MY GAT!

C-MAN- Smart Bob, did he say something about his cat.? WHERE’S YOUR CAT?

GUY IN CAR- MY GAT’S IN MY GLOVE BOX!

C-MAN- WELL TAKE IT OUT, YOU SHIT HEAD! He’s going to kill that poor cat treating it like that.

(THE GUY IN THE PINTO PULLS HIS GUN OUT AND STARTS FIRING BACK AT C-MAN. BULLETS ARE WHISTLING PAST HIS HEAD.)

C-MAN- Two can play at this game.

(C-MAN PULLS HIS GUN AND STARTS FIRING AT THE PINTO. BOTH OF THE CARS ARE NOW FULL OF HOLES. THEY ARE HAVING A HARD TIME SEEING EACH OTHER WITH ALL OF THE STEAM THAT IS COMING FROM THE NOW BROKEN RADIATOR OF THE C-MOBILE. NEITHER MAN HAS MANAGED TO HIT THE OTHER.)

C-MAN- Those chemicals must have made me bullet proof, I don’t have any holes in me yet.

(SMART BOB YELLS FROM THE BACK FLOORBOARD.)

SMART BOB- THAT’S JUST BECAUSE HE KEEPS MISSING YOU, YOU STUPID ASS!

(THE GUY IN THE PINTO TAKES OFF. C-MAN PUTS THE CAR IN NEUTRAL, REVS IT UP, AND DUMPS IT IN GEAR. THE C-MOBILE GRINDS, JERKS FORWARD, AND SLOWLY TAKES OFF.)

C-MAN- WE WILL CATCH THAT LAW BREAKER!

(C-MAN IS CHASING THE PINTO. THEY ARE GOING A NECK BRAKING 35 MPH. THE RAMBLER IS GAINING ON THE PINTO.)

C-MAN- Yes, I smell victory!

(SMART BOB YELLS FROM THE BACK FLOORBOARD.)

SMART BOB- THAT’S ANTIFREEZE, YOU DUMBASS, THE RADIATORS BROKEN!

C-MAN- I knew that Pinto would be trouble. Do we have any more bullets? I’m out.

SMART BOB- NO!

C-MAN- Look, there’s a Marijuana plant in the back of that car.

(SMART BOB LEANS UP FROM THE BACK FLOORBOARD AND LOOKS.)

SMART BOB- That’s a fern, jack ass.

C-MAN- I’ve got to stop this guy.

SMART BOB- Why, so he don’t run anymore stop signs?

(C-MAN FLOORS THE C-MOBILE AND CREEPS UP BESIDE THE PINTO. ONCE HE GETS BESIDE THE PINTO C-MAN SWERVES OVER AND RAMS THE CAR OFF THE ROAD. THE PINTO SKIDS OUT OF CONTROL, HITS A PARKED GAS TRUCK, AND BLOWS UP.)

C-MAN- TAKE THAT, that’s one less nut on the street!

(THE HOOD ON THE C-MOBILE POPS OPEN. C-MAN LOSES CONTROL, RUNS OFF THE ROAD, HITS A FIRE HYDRANT AND CAUSES THE CAR TO FLIP 15 TIMES. THE C-MOBILE IS NOW RESTING ON ITS TOP. C-MAN AND SMART BOB ARE LAYING ON THE CEILING OF THE CAR IN A MAULED HEAP.)

SMART BOB- I think I broke my neck.

C-MAN- I think I ripped my cape.

SMART BOB- YOUR CAPE? NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR GODDAMNED CAPE, I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING IMPORTANT! I CAN’T FEEL THREE OF MY TOES, I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR CAPE!

C-MAN- Can you fix it, though?

SMART BOB- I don’t fucking know! My neck is at such an odd angle right now I’m practically staring at my ass hole. We better crawl out of here before it catches on fire.

C-MAN- Relax, I’ve been driving on E since last Tuesday.

(THEY DRAG THEMSELVES OUT OF THE CAR AND LIMP AWAY.)

C-MAN- I think we’re going to have to have the c-mobile towed back home.

SMART BOB- I don’t know, maybe if we get it back on it’s wheels...

(THE CAR BURSTS INTO FLAMES.)

SMART BOB- We could have done without that.

[dumbfinntales]

I finished Grim Dawn some days ago, and yeah. It was a pretty fun experience, but I don’t see myself sinking hundreds of hours into it. To be honest I don’t really feel like doing my usual “review type of deal” either. Not that I hated the game or anything, but I don’t know much what to say. I did enjoy the story and the world though! And there’s quite a bit of build variety if you really enjoy the game.

The game doesn’t have that addicting gameplay loop that I felt with Path of Exile, that game hooked me for nearly 200 hours and made me create three different characters. But after beating the story and the DLC content I don’t really feel like even taking on the end game. I also hate the design that you gotta keep bumping up difficulty to get better drops. In these games more difficulty just means you get one shot if you don’t have maxed out resistances. Well, could be worse. In PoE you get one shot even with max resistances, haha!

I found the DLC’s to be fun. Ashes of Malmouth was kinda samey to the main game, feels almost like it was always supposed to be a part of the main game instead of a DLC expansion. Forgotten Gods felt more like a new expansion, new story and new locales. When it comes to the story I was left a little confused, it’s almost like they dropped the whole Aetherials threat thing. The whole story starts with “oooh the aetherials are attacking and possessing people and they got something big cooked up!”. But then in the main story you instead fight some cult, unrelated to the aetherials? And in Ashes of Malmouth you don’t really deal with the whole threat, you just kill one big name atherial and stop his master plan or whatever. But rest of the aetherials? Still out there, very much a threat still. In Forgotten Gods you just go and kill a grumpy god because he didn’t get his chicken tendies.

Also was it me or were vast majority of the NPC’s in the game forgettable? I had dozens of moments where an NPC went: “Oh, it’s you! Nice to see you again!” and I thought to myself “who the hell is this guy?”. Even now I only remember Creed and Ulgrim. Reading Creeds notes was fun and when you actually met him in game, it was cool. I liked that.

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch: 1x01: Snow Gives Way

-Someone barging into Ward's office acting like they own the place and also know Harold is alive must have sent such a jolt of fear through Ward for a second

-Ward puts himself between Danny and Joy when it seems like Danny might get physical

-Ward tells Joy not to have Danny arrested - Harold concerns?

-Danny PTSD set off by the elevator turbulence?? But he was fine going up. Just stress induced? He's shaking.

-FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BREAK INTO THAT HOUSE

-Joy's dog just disappears after this episode?

-Danny just meditates or something to get that dog to calm down. Calms his mind so as to seem not a threat / not present? Is Danny some sort of animal whisperer? I'm now positive that at some point during Danny and Ward's Adventures Across Asia, they were stranded somewhere for some reason, Ward is complaining about being stuck in some muddy backwater hick town or whatever, Danny just sort of strolls up to some large animals (attached to a cart? Wait, that would be stealing. Hm...) goes all zen state, then says to Ward "they'll take us to the next town" like that's a normal series of events and not COMPLETELY INSANE, DANNY, WHAT THE F---.

-Pictures on Joy's shelf: Harold with his arm around young Joy, all six of them on some vacation. Rands + Meachums kind of separated in this photo, though. Don't people normally stand closer together in group photos? Also, young Joy much shorter than young Danny. Note: Wendall's hands on both Heather and Danny's shoulders. Harold's hand on Joy's shoulder. Ward and Danny both have hands in pockets.

-"Dad says rules are for pussies" ;___; (Young Ward refusing to pay monopoly rent because he just doesn't want to. Starting the corrupt financial elite training off early, huh?)

-"Oh, here comes Mommy and Daddy to protect you and give you lots of hugs and kisses and tell you what a sweet little boy you are. It's disgusting. *sweeps all the game pieces off the table even though they've clearly been playing for awhile and it's not like Danny just won he was only asking for like $200*" Ward, you dramatic bitch. Also, they were literally only saying they were home, not necessarily rushing in to protect Danny from the Big Bad Ward refusing to pay $200 monopoly money. Metaphorically, I suppose this is still Ward being a sore loser, though. It's not monopoly Danny beat him at, it's having parents who love him. T_T AND THEN HE LIES ABOUT IT, PLAYING THE BELEAGUERED BABYSITTER, ASDFGHJKL - WARD. (Note: neither Danny nor Joy speak up against this blatant unfairness. Previous failure? YOU'RE SUCH A BULLY, WARD.)

-Big Al is first person to be friendly to Danny and I'm sure Danny doesn't forget it. Headcanon Danny is def actively caring towards 'lower class', including homeless and drug addicts, and actually sees + treats them as equals. Classism definitely a theme in these shows with the people who struggle financially like Colleen being the kindest and most charitable and the rich being assholes.

-But also why is he informing Danny that the internet can be used as a search engine with no prior indication in their conversation that Danny doesn't know this? I mean, Danny does not, in fact, know this, but.

-In the news article, the photo of the Rands is the same one in Joy's apartment, but the Meachums are not there. However, they are not merely cropped out: the background extends into the spot they should occupy. Did some poor news article graphic designer have to go find a photo of that tourist spot background at the exact right angle and photoshop them together to get rid of the Meachums, or was Joy's photo a photoshopped family vacation image, which could have explained the awkward distance between the two families, even though it wouldn't have been that hard in editing to set them all closer together? Maybe they all still went on the same vacation together, but instead of asking a passerby to take a photo for them, both families took photos of each other and then someone combined them at a later date? Practically speaking, that still means the angle would be likely to be off for the background, and it's also suspicious that there are zero other tourists around. These rich families rented out the entire space?? Would lend to lack of external parties to take a group pic for them. Obviously, IRL explanation is they're all photoshopped onto a static background, but fun to think of the in-universe reasons. ...Actually, most likely explanation is that they took multiple photos - Rand only, Meachum only, maybe also kids only, Wendall+Harold only, etc, as well as group. So this entire train of thought is inconsequential. Oops.

-Harold had a big event funeral, "mayor and everything"? That must have been fun for both Harold and Ward, with significantly different usages of the word 'fun'.

-Hello Joy, not only did I follow you home to accost you at your front door the morning after I attacked the security at your workplace to enter your probably restricted top floor executives offices, I also did extensive research into your childhood history down to the position you and your friend played on your childhood soccer team, oh and also I broke into your house yesterday where I interacted with your dog. Now watch while I prove my physical prowess by flipping over a taxi.

-Bird flying into city while Danny meditates?? Symbolically, follows the idea of the bird flying through the pass that was Danny's sign to leave K'un Lun and return to NYC. Spiritually - what? AU where the bird is Danny's spirit animal and he's connected to it / seeing through its eyes right now. For the HDM AU fans: bird could be Danny's separated dæmon? (Would a HDM AU Danny's dæmon be a dragon? Honestly, idk how much dragon stereotypes match Danny's personality. Would have to think about that. Would be funny if someone else had the dragon dæmon, not any of the Fist holders.)

-Danny. Danny. Colleen JUST HUNG THAT FLYER UP. Take one of the little tabbies, if you must, that's what they're for, but don't take the entire flyer down! Those cost money, you know. And it takes time to cut all those little tabbies out and then go around hanging the flyers up.

-Colleen be like "dear god, this is why you shouldn't be nice to people, they start trying to hit on you, @ random park dude, please stop talking at me and following me while I continually shift out of your line of vision"

-Danny: "Hey you speak Chinese? I speak Chinese." Colleen: "I'm Japanese you dick. :)"

-Ward: I'm gonna make sure our personal security team is guarding you against this clear and present threat, but also we're still not calling the police??

-Ward turns this from either a crazy homeless guy or a scam artist into a potential organized corporate sabotage - the kind of threat that Joy is more easily able to compartmentalize her emotions on and crush under her heel?

-Ward just gets into a moving vehicle with someone he has verbally acknowledged as an active threat to his family. Did you have ANY stranger danger safety lessons growing up, Ward?

-Danny now appears to be actively threatening Ward, while using the reasoning that Ward and everyone else have been seriously trying his patience and he's in danger of losing his temper, but he's still giving Ward one last chance to back down. Note: this is a technique commonly employed by abusers, and probably more triggering to Ward than Danny knows, even though Danny probably actually does think he's being sincere as opposed to manipulative.

-->Aaaand Ward responds by ratcheting up instead, because of course he does, IMMEDIATELY leading to the gun to head scene. oh, geez.

-Danny provides personal details - probably this is the moment Ward starts to believe it might actually be Danny somehow, against all logic and reason. He looks shaken, then immediately starts trying to gaslight Danny. asdfghjkl WARD.

-->Ward lying to Danny's face and putting himself in the position of the righteous with Danny as the person in the wrong when they both know it's a lie is very reminiscent of the monopoly scene from when they were kids and the implied constant behavior from when they were kids. But this time, Danny doesn't accept it the way he did as a kid. He stares at Ward, remembering this pattern, actively teetering on PTSD flashback mode, and fights back. Makes Ward think he might be about to kill them both - while having flashbacks that hinder his ability to stop so Danny in hindsight gets freaked out about what he almost did too. (Note: looking freaked out and claiming he didn't mean to almost kill them both just now was probably more concerning to Ward rather than less.) And then he promises he'll be back because this isn't over. gdi, Danny, no wonder Ward wants you gone asap.

-Colleen, trying to tell Danny to go away because he's being a creeper: TAKE A HINT TAKE A HINT

-Danny, casually: Oh yeah Master Lei Gun "The Thunderer" used to smack me hard in the face with the practice swords

-Colleen bringing a sword to a gun fight

-Danny grabs enemy's gun, but not to use as weapon/defense - only to disarm it and run off - which Colleen sees.

-What festival is this that's happening in Chinatown? Has anyone figured out an IF timeline? Could compare dates to real world events, see if there's any potential cross over.

-None of these bystanders so much as bother to look at the fistfights happening 2 feet away from them

-Ward sitting in his office eating his food (it has decorative greens so you know it's ~fancy~) and answers his phone smiling because he's expecting the good news that Danny-probably-an-impersonator-but-also-potentially-maybe-not-but-we're-not-thinking-about-that-Ward-get-a-hold-of-yourself is dead. Way to be a villain stereotype, Ward. I know you try real hard at it so good job uwu

-Harold intro. Ward clearly at his beck and call and just as clearly resentful of it. "I think...” *resigned* “-of course, right away." is such immediate shorthand for someone abusing the power imbalance. (Note: Ward puts off approaching Harold with the "Danny problem" until night 2, tries to handle it quietly until he has implicated himself (Danny now knows Ward tried to have him killed) and Danny is still present and now an even bigger threat)

-So many elevators. All express to specific floors/areas? This lobby is so unsettling. Elevator leads to another hall full of elevators, then stairs, then handprint access to hall with second elevator into penthouse. (Note: Ward is one of those people who press the close door button multiple times with a frustrated facial expression)

-Ward to Harold: "How do you even know about that? ...Shit. Are you behind this? Is this another one of your stupid tests?"

-Harold to Ward: "I wish you would take things like this more seriously, so I don't see my company destroyed."

-Photos on Harold's shelf: young Joy, posed photo of Meachums in formal-ish clothing, Harold's hands on both kids shoulders, indistinguishable group of people on a bridge(?) somewhere. Group photo atop a fancy box, Joy photo in front of the Meachum family photo. On Harold's desk: another photo of young Joy, this one looks like one of those posed school photos where they have the kid stand against a "tree" backdrop.

-Ward says out loud that he could ignore Harold and Harold wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Harold casually observes that Ward is now and has always been childish. Ward remarks that Harold has been telling Ward he's disappointed in him his whole life. Harold is still disappointed in Ward right now.

-Harold: this is how you make your employees loyal to you. *proceeds to display his complete dominance over Kyle, who looks nervous and threatened by the direct attention* Ward: "Jesus, Dad, what the hell is wrong with you?" (Still doesn't do anything to remove Kyle from this situation though)

-Harold lectures at Ward as if everything Ward has ever done is wrong, always, including snapping his fingers at him when he starts to speak himself, like a bad dog, and listing off things that Ward has already brought up to Joy as if Ward is an incompetent who would never consider those angles himself

-Ward makes a snide comment, Harold snaps at him, Ward smiles a little bit because he has succeeded in getting under Harold's skin for a moment

-Harold: Leave this to me. I'll tell you exactly what to do. Ward: Like always. Harold: Like always.

-Awww, Danny was rushing back to tell his new friend Al all about Ward sending people to kill him, possibly looking for advice? ;_; (Also, why is there a foreboding music significance to Al having a bird tattoo? Does this ever come back??? I don't remember this mystery going anywhere.)

-Danny is lurking in Joy's office. He doesn't say anything even slightly reassuring, like that he has an appointment, just heavily implies that he snuck in. sigh.

-"I'm not gonna hurt you," Danny laughs, after displaying a whole lot of extremely threatening behavior. Joy smiles, drugs him, and buys time until it kicks in.

[ellasprouts]

you don’t need or want this but I review the TUA characters

im bored and its Saturday night so I plan on reviewing characters from the best show: the umbrella academy

TUA SPOILERS OFC!!!!!!!

1. Luther

Luther is a character that’s really hated on, but personally I don’t hate him all that much. Sure, he makes a lot of mistakes throughout the season but he really doesn't know what it’s like to live without his everyday actions being approved by Sir Reginald. He’s got a lot of issues, and is a dick sometimes, but overall 5/10.

2. Diego

I love Diego and he’s such a good character with great development. In the beginning of episode one, I immediately thought he was a douchebag but I ended up loving his character. He’s so nice... in his own way, of course. But you can see as the series goes on how much he cares about his family and Eudora... :(!! Overall, 10/10. Kind of a dick, but I’m letting it slide because he loves his mom and his knives which makes up for it.

3. Allison

I love Allison so much, even though her “big-sister skills” are questionable. Her character is so *mwah* and I can’t help but love her. She has a big, big heart but sometimes she focuses more on herself than others in the heat of the moment. She made a lot of mistakes with Vanya in the season, which put me on edge, but I thought the scene at the concert with her, Vanya, and the gun <3, really made me SOB. Her character really portrays how nothing can stand in-between sibling bonds, especially when she chooses to save Vanya instead of the world. 8/10.

4. Klaus

I love Klaus and he’s one of my favorites, (him, Diego, and Ben). I truly LOVE how much he progressed through the season. I relate to him most out of all character’s by far. When Dave died it was so amazing how Klaus pulled through his addiction just to see him again, which I think is so wonderful. I can’t wait for next season when we get to see more of his powers!! 11/10.

5. Five

Five’s a real dickhead, but I honestly love how he risked everything to save his family from impending doom. His cocky and ambitious character lowkey annoyed me throughout the series but I was also soft for the other side of him which was trying so hard to save the world. He may not show it, but he loves his family a lot. And he loves Delores which adds 0.5 points. 7.5/10.

6. Ben

I love Ben so much. I feel so utterly bad for him and I’m dying (lmao) to find out how he died. His character is so wonderful and just improves the show by 100% anytime he’s on screen. I love and think it’s so amazing how much he’s trying to help his brother be the amazing person he sees him as. Ben is so wonderful and he needs 800 more minutes, at least, of screen time next season. Ben is one of the best characters in the show for his heartfelt nature. 11/10.

7. Vanya

I’m in love with Ellen Page Vanya. Her beautifully portrayed character makes me SCREAM. Yes, she tried to end the world and had already once killed everyone in a different timeline but that doesn't matter. She is so kickass and awesome. I feel horrible for how she was treated by her father and her siblings, which Allison tried to make up for during the season. Her powers are so cool, too. I love Vanya, but I feel as though ending the world because of your childhood trauma is a bit much. But we also should remember she didn’t have much control over her powers and her anger must’ve taken the best of her. Her sibling, Luther, also put her in the one place of her childhood that was most traumatic which was so horrible. I’m going have to take away 0.5 points, though. She kinda slit Allison’s throat :/. 9.5/10.

8. Hazel and Cha-Cha

The two most badass characters of the show. I love them so much even though their relationship is a little toxic. But that’s not completely their fault. 

Hazel: 6/10

Cha-Cha: 5/10

9. Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins

I hate him, I don’t even know why I included him in this. -1/10.

10. Grace 

I love Grace so much! She is the best robot mom in history and I feel so bad for how Reginald treated her. Grace gets a 200/10 from me, chief.

11. Sir Reginald Hargreeves 

Who hurt this man to make him such a monster? Reginald is the worst character by far, he hurt and traumatized all of his “children”. Sure, they’re superheroes and need training to save people or whatever but they were just kids. They didn’t deserve to be hurt so badly by the man they deemed their father. 0/10.

12. The Handler 

“Wow, what a bitch,” I said ten seconds before falling in love with her. So, whatever. She’s kind of the bad guy but she’s so funny, idk why. I love her. 4/10, just because she did a lot of messed up shit but she just gave me vibes whenever she was onscreen.

13. Pogo

Pogo was an enabler to Sir Reginald’s abuse which makes me give him a 2/10. Yes, he cared for the kids but he was an enabler to his abuse and could’ve told them the secrets Reginald kept hidden instead of forcing them all to slowly suffer as they uncover more and more. 

14. Agnes Rofa

I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE IS SUCH A SWEETIE. 1000/10.

ok that’s pretty much it of all the characters I wanted to review/that’s pretty much all there were other than side characters. I love this show so much so :) enjoy my dumbass review

you guys should go follow me and like all my other stuff cuz I kinda post a bunch alright thank u <3

[fluorescentpipedream]

Been learning some things about Dayton the last few days 

It’s a little long so I don’t want to clog up anyone’s feeds

Details:

Age: 43

Family: 

Parents - Abigail and Ethan Foster. Sibling: Charlotte,Lottie (25)

His parents are still alive though they don’t really acknowledge him much.

His little sister, Lottie, comes to visit him sometimes. She makes jewelry out of recycled materials and gave her brother an earring she made of a broken beer bottle, repurposed as a diamond. He wears it on the right side, though when asked why he only has one, he says “she knows I’ll lose the other one, so this way it’s more special” 

He has said he’s a little jealous of his younger sister because “she gets to be normal, and our parents hate that there’s nothing of hers that can capitalize on. Her jewelry business is a fun thing to put her through college, they can’t steal her fortunes and lie to her that it’s in her best interest. I’m envious of her because of her normalcy. How stupid is that?”

Relationships:

Dayton was married when he had his seizure, his husband divorced him shortly after the incident, not being willing to take care of him. 

He’s had a few girlfriends but he seems to prefer the company of men

About:

Dayton is highly dependent on drugs and/or alcohol to get by on the outside world because he just can’t seem to function without them when he’s trying to live on his own. He’s lived at the Center in the French Quarter off and on for 4 years, before that taking a stint in jail for public urination and intoxication. He also spit on the arresting officer. Writing about the incident later by saying “he finds it odd that Mardi Gras is legal public drunkenness for the amusement of all but only a few days after, in the stench of Bourbon Street’s parties where trickles of human depravity are being washed from the street, suddenly it’s deplorable and must be cleansed from sight. Though they might have gone easier on me if I hadn’t spit in the cop’s face. Oh well.”

Dayton’s initial slip into this strange state was after a seizure caused by his excessive drinking. The world was easier to handle if he was drunk or high all the time, he didn’t feel like he had to be as smart as he is, when he was riding a drug high. He collapsed at a Mensa event when he was 32, and during the grand mal seizure caused brain damage and for his IQ to slip from the 200s and down into a more average number. He still seems to be very intelligent, though he doesn’t really draw attention to it anymore. After his husband left him, he had apparently only shrugged, taking his ring off and handed it to his little sister, telling her “unconditional love is a joke”

The relationship with his parents finally came to light as well, and he outright told the first social worker when they had suggested he could recover in his parent’s care that they wouldn’t actually care for him anymore. Their free ride now had strings attached and he doubted that they could stand to care for him, since he was pushed to always provide for himself, since he was “smart enough”

He has the potential to live on his own, he just doesn’t have much of a drive to do so. When he’s left on his own he gets distracted and forgets to do even the most basic tasks. He means he forgets to eat, sleep, etc. At the Center, “I’m safe from myself”

Personality:

Self-loathing and tends to put himself down a lot

Suicidal although Lottie seems to be the only reason he won’t go through with killing himself, he loves her too much to leave her with that stigma of “genius brother takes his own life following years of drug and alcohol abuse

A very dark and, at times, unsettling sense of humor. It makes people uncomfortable and his general disinterest in people’s reactions make it worse

“Former” sex addict...he puts it in quotes. As long as he’s not drinking or using drugs he tends to abstain from dangerous sexual liaisons but once he’s under the influence it’s whatever, with whoever and however they choose. “I’m surprised I’m not infected yet”

He’s been with both men and woman and has no preference towards either. “It would be nice to have someone love me...I’m not in a position where I could be the one providing care to another, sadly dealing with me may be a full time job and not one most people are equipped for. I won’t “get better” over time, and crave companionship sometimes even over the obsessive desire to fade from this world”

Interests:

Serial killers. He absently makes profiles for those he reads about or watches reports on TV. He frequents websites that have details on true crime and likes to try to figure out cold cases, for fun. He’s actually figured out several, calling in anonymous tips to hotlines.

-Seriously- considering typing up his profile for the serial killer in San Francisco (Paul) and sending it to Theo deWinter, the agent on the case. He’d learned about the case online and after reading what he could find about the murders and the way the bodies are discovered, he really does want to help. He is concerned they wouldn’t take much consideration in the profile though because of his current mental state. It might hurt his credibility. Still, he says “better not eat anything you buy from Rascal Butcher shop on Main” 

Piano, originally it was something he was forced into learning but now that he’s older he enjoys it quite a bit more. He sometimes sits in the grand entrance of the Center and plays on nice days

Writing. Kind of like a cross between Dean Koontz and Stephen King with some Lovecraft like monsters in there. He posts some of his shorter pieces on his blog

Has a tumblr blog called A Damaged Beautiful Mind. Most of the time he answers questions but a few years ago he wrote a rather long post about the inability for criminals, drug addicts and generally anyone who has been arrested to vote in national elections explains a lot about how the entire system is set up so only the elite are allowed to partake (excerpt at the end)

He loves watching psychological thrillers, horror movies and true crime documentaries

He used to want to be a federal profiler and even has degrees in forensic psychology and criminal law

Connections:

Arthur Powell sometimes invites him over for dinner in his room at the center.

He told Arthur he really liked his sister, Frankie once, promising it was “nothing creepy” he just thought she had a beautiful soul and her amazing talent was going to take her places. Arthur has her make him a mirror glaze birthday cake this year that was too beautiful to eat (he did though, only when Lottie came to spend the day with him and she cut into it after taking a picture of it with his phone.)

One of the orderlies brings him coffee and beignets on Saturdays and they talk. Dayton generally believes they’re just checking up on him to make sure he’s had a shower or eaten something recently.

Doctor Snow is his therapist, though lately he feels like he has to search for things to discuss with her. She’s expecting her first child, so the visits are brief and involves how he’s feeling, if he’s still having suicidal thoughts...etc.

He used to be a bit of a lech, being Mike Tomlin’s first foray into gay sex, pinning him to a wall at the Mensa event, the same night as his seizure.

Excerpt from his latest blog entry about election and voting rights, or rather the lack thereof

Any system which segregates the unmentionables and undesirables from the view of the rest only perpetuates the degeneration we’ve been seeing as a whole in this nation. It’s “progress” that the United States lived in a seemingly “Golden Age” under Barack Obama, but if one were to pull back the veil they need only skim the surface to realize, that was a moment of lapse, before the true waves of deceit, corruption and greed rushed back in again.

The years that Obama served in the White House only appear now as the receding of water before the inevitable tsunami. As a nation, we will always boil back down to the nagging truth of George Orwell in Animal Farm; “all animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others” Those that are detestable, or deemed unworthy by social standards, like any number of the “criminals” locked away for crimes enumeration, have been stripped of their ability to stand up for their beliefs.

Their voices are silenced, because by daring to stand against the societal norm, to lash out at the Thomas Moore, Utopian falsehood of America, they proclaimed loudly that the world is not only unfair, but stacked against us from the moment we take our first breaths. Were the US to return rights to the seemingly uneducated, drains on society, they would see real change. But that, in the essence of the truly corrupt leading the imbecilic masses, will never be the case. These commanding forces, like Nero the pig, would rather lead the masses into decisions that have been made for them all the while claiming that it is the people who lead themselves to this. And he can fix it all.

[mental-health-advice]

Submission about break up

I been struggling a lot. I don’t always share it with friends/family. Im the type of person that sometimes needs to struggle on their own before asking for help or a listening ear. **I just want to say that I have had counseling for about four or five years. And I have had help with my addiction. I think I’m just looking for a listening ear maybe.**

Last year during July 2019 I was going thru a lot with my boyfriend at the time. July was awful. My boyfriend and I would argue all the time. He’d like find faults in things I did. We’d argue also because he’d disappear for hours or days in msgs or cancel last minute. He was always on vacation but never made time for me. I started getting fed up with him. He blew me off on my birthday. Complained abt chilling etc. Then this continued on thru October. Same shit different month. Things got worse and I got so stressed out.

It kind of felt like he was waiting for me to break up with him. I had made plans with him throughout the summer and it seemed like anything I planned he didn’t want to do. I was recovering from an addiction. And whenever I had milestones I wanted to celebrate with him but he would make it about himself or he would complain that he would have to show up. I don’t know if he knew what he was doing. But he threw too many Tantrums. I loved him dearly. But I couldn’t handle being stressed etc.

In November I ended up taking a break with him. The only thing different was he really didn’t care what I was doing. He had ignored me so much more. So he asked to meet up and I ended things in December.

So now seven or eight months later I’ve been struggling so much.

The Break-Up wasn’t Mutual. But he really didn’t do anything to stop it. When we did talk he told me that he didn’t see it coming. That he thought everything was great between us. But how can everything be great if he’s not even there or that we argued all the time.

After December we stayed friends on social media. He started making ex-girlfriend comments and posts. And then started telling people about my personal problems and about my Mental Health. All his friends started attacking me through social media telling me how awful I was and that I should be ashamed for breaking up with him. And then he started stalking me in person. And then he started threatening me. Telling me that he’ll end his life if I talk to him anymore. So I disappeared. I was trying to re recover from my addiction. I wasn’t getting any help at that time but I was fine with having friends and stuff help me.

But now here we are in July 2020 and everyone wants me to feel okay. Everyone wants me to be happy never be sad. Today I’m celebrating 200 days clean. But I’m feeling every emotion possible. I am proud of how far I have come. But am also missing my ex-boyfriend. Even though a good chunk of our relationship at the end was really bad I do miss having him and his company.

It feels so weird not having him by my side. I know him and I will never again be back together. And I think that’s one thing that destroys me.. the last 6 months of us dating his entire personality and human being changed. He acted like I owed him. It kind of felt like he owned me. And that I had no say of anything. And even though he was a huge huge jerk, sometimes I still miss him. And then when I left him he became what he said he would never be.

This isn’t my first break up with someone but this is my first serious legit relationship. We dated for four years. But I never expected to end things with him. I thought the worst thing would be taking a break with him. But when he walked away after the relationship I knew he was done.

Sometimes the not knowing things kill me down inside. From December to now(july) we’ve talked about 10 or 15 times just through a text and most of the times he started the conversation. He claims that he knew I was going to end things with him.

And I guess everything still hurts. I don’t know if he said things out of anger or frustration but a lot of the things he said to me after The Break-Up really destroyed me. He told me he never understood my addiction and just thought that if he lied about understanding me that I would stop talking about it.

Do you think I still have a right to be sad about The Break-Up even though it’s been seven or eight months?

I feel like I’m losing my mind over this. Thanks for listening though.

Hey lovely,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling. I’m proud of you for reaching out for help. I can imagine that it’s easier to reach out to us than it is to your friends and family. I do hope you’re able to do the latter at some point though, because you deserve their support! It’s also good to hear that you’ve had counselling and have received help for your addiction. We’re definitely here to offer a listening ear, as well as reply with whatever advice we might be able to come up with.

It sounds like you and your boyfriend definitely went through a rough patch. Arguing is no fun at all! And when you’re in a relationship, it’s important to both want to spend time with each other. From what you’ve told me, it doesn’t sound like he wanted to me do that last year. It’s possible that he wasn’t really aware of this at the time, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hurtful- it is and you’re allowed to be upset by that. It sounds like breaking up with him was a good decision, as the relationship wasn’t coming from both ends and it was upsetting for you.

It’s understandable that breaking up still wasn’t easy though! Break ups hurt, regardless of whether you were the one doing the breaking up. What he’s been doing after the break up, isn’t okay. He shouldn’t share your personal mental health issues with others, that invades your privacy as well as the trust you had placed in him during the relationship. Stalking and threatening you goes even a step further and is definitely not okay! 

I’m so proud of you for being 200 days clean! That is absolutely amazing!! Please give yourself a big hug from me.

It’s understandable that you’re dealing with a lot of emotions though. It often is the case that we think back of positive memories and miss those. So while the relationship with your ex was rocky and there were a lot of negative sides to it, it’s understandable you miss the positive sides. This can get worse when you’re feeling a bit lonely and have no one by your side, as then you long to have someone there. He was that person in the past. And while these feelings are understandable, allowed, and valid, it is important to also remember the negative sides and to remember why the two of you shouldn’t be in a relationship. 

So yes, I think you have a right to be sad about the break up even though it's been seven or eight months! There is no time limit to feeling upset about these kind of things. Breaking up with someone can be a lot like grief. Even though you don’t lose that person to death, you do lose them. You lose the way they were in your life. And the process you go through after a break up can be very similar to the grieving process. And there is no time limit to the grieving process (if you’d like to read more about that, you can check out our page on grief). 

I truly hope that typing this all out and reading my answer helped you and that you feel a bit like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Remember that your feelings are valid and that it’s going to take time to process all this. You’re allowed to feel the way you feel and step by step you’ll start to feel better again. There may be ups and downs, but I believe in you!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline

[fireflyeggs]

First off, do not 5150 me. Please and thank you. PM me if you want but I’m okay right now. I’m hoping to take a nap.

This is literally the longest post i’ve ever made oops

I am once again in the lovely position I have been in before. I should be hospitalized but I cannot be due to my choice in education.

I am in nursing school. 3rd year. If I go to a hospital now, I will be (politely) kicked out of school. Even if I’m not kicked out, it will cause my future license to be suspended until I can meet the state board and convince them I’m mentally sound to practice.

I know people will hit me with “your mental health comes first” but honestly fuck off. I have spent tons of money and the most effort I have ever put in to anything on this degree. I’m not tossing it out because my brain is a flaming heap of trash right now.

On that note, this is why I’m considering just yeeting myself out of the world:

-see above situation

-the dean of my school has barred me from entering a class because the class is overfilled. I need it as a prerequisite next year. Best case scenario they let me take it in fall or summer. Worst case scenario I am forced to temporarily drop out and wait 6-12 months to re enter the nursing school and take the stupid class. Note: other people in my cohort had no issue getting in. I’m just getting weirdly fucked over for no reason. Note: this will render me bankrupt as well.

- due to the lovely SARS-CoV2 situation, my mental health is SHIT. It’s TERRIBLE. I stay up every night until like 2-4 AM crying. And of course I like try to reach out for help but my friends are overwhelmed by me and my therapist/psychiatrist are not readily available. And likely if I was honest with them, I would be hospitalized. See above dilemma.

-I have been laid off (like everyone else in the world). I have been offered a job as a nurse aide but it’s full time and I would probably be putting myself in isolation for the next year if I accept that. Note: I live alone.

-I have re-developed all of my bad habits which I worked hard in therapy to overcome. I’m self harming, drinking, drugging, starving, bingeing, smoking, and fucking my way through life just to get by. And mostly quietly because I get so damn shamed if I say anything. My normal healthy coping skill of going out for coffee or a walk has been killed due to rona.

-I am quickly running out of money and I do not qualify for the stimulus.

-I have been getting moderately bullied by random people to the point of considering deleting my social media (I didn’t even take an opinion, people just praying for my downfall lmao)

-I have, and I am not exaggerating, 8-12 hours of homework daily. Our teachers are pushing us to do even more because of state requirements.

-my friends (bless them) are probably sick of my whining and are overwhelmed because I am, in short, extremely mentally ill. I cannot reach out to any extended family without being told “suck it up, there are people dying” (which is true but makes me feel worse)

-I stopped talking to my ex after a year and I’m still like attached and messed up and damaged over the whole situation.

-I’m currently dating a very nice guy but he does not understand my mental illnesses and I can’t really turn to him for solace because of that. He said he would leave me if I don’t chill. So whatever I guess. Not gonna be getting this puss if I die, pal. To be fair I think his ex emotionally manipulated him with mental illness so that’s why he’s got no chill about it.

-my house is absolutely a disgusting mess and I cannot clean due to my copious amounts of homework. That sounds like an excuse but it’s legitimate

-this doesn’t particularly matter to me but I’m the most thicc I have been and pretty much everyone tells me I look bad and I’m unhealthy and gonna die so whatever. Joys of existence.

-I have like chronic health issues that are being ignored because my doctors office is closed and my issues, while SOMEWHAT serious, are not ER worthy in a pandemic.

-generally people misinterpret my actions and blame me for all of the above because I guess I’m just the literal worst person ever. Well I survived this, you’re over dramatic, you’re trying to manipulate me to feel bad (I’m not I’m just expressing my emotions as a bipolar person with no outlets), you can’t say that, you can’t like that because that one person said that 7 years ago as a joke, you can’t exist....

I’m trying to not die for numerous reasons. My family does not deserve it, my friends do not deserve it. It would be bad. Obviously. I haven’t figured out exactly what to do. My tentative plan was to finish up the semester, clean extensively, and get a cat. I’m still kind of planning on that.

The issue is that like in my current state at currently 3:16 AM, I am not very well coordinated. I am sad. I am anxious. I’m itchy (thanks lamotrigine 200). I have nothing to do and no one that I want to bother. I have already time traveled 3 days in AC. I am tired but cannot sleep (seroquel withdrawal courtesy of me, and bipolar I. Medically approved). I just want to be dead. I’m not TRYING to be dead. I just want this to end. And whatever kind of situation lies beyond my current state gets more appealing the more things that happen to me. I swear I’m cursed. Like, legitimately.

I need to emphasize. I am not trying anything. I am not acting on this. I am passively thinking about it every day. I am actively trying to do better against circumstances that seemingly want me to fail in every regard. It’s like I built a whole ass car only to be plowed over by a semi truck. Repeatidly. In every part of my life. And at this point it would be easier to just give in.

I do not know why I exist primarily to suffer. Of course there are moments of joy. It’s just like a majority of my life has been hardship. And I thought it would stop, but it doesn’t. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to cope. Sexual abuse, bullying, manipulation, depression, medications, repeated rape, unhealthy relationship in which I invest all my love, terrible jobs, illness, bipolar I, stupid college academic advising problems, lovers who screw me over, car accident, physical abuse, addictions, a fucking pandemic. And I’ve been told with most of that it’s my fault. And that which wasn’t my fault was somehow bestowed by the universe because I made myself slightly susceptible in some way.

And mark my words, someone will say that others have it worse. Which is true! But it does not diminish my pain. Nothing does. I just hope I can get a cat and/or whatever else before I drunkenly try to OD at 4 AM on a Tuesday. Or whatever.

As I said. I’m not trying. But with my illness? I never know what’s up next. I hope I don’t. I really hope I don’t.

Friendly reminder: I’m fine right now. Leave me be. If it gets worse, you would know, I can’t keep secrets.

Thanks for reading my novel lmao

[autobot-ratchet]

I’ve been wanting to do a character analysis thing on Drift for a long time and now that the comic is over I finally have time to sit down and think about his arc as a whole and how the fandom treats him and I have got some Thoughts and Opinions™

Alright so Drift. let's talk about Drift at his core, who he is and what he's like, which can admittedly be difficult to pinpoint because he spends like 90% of his time throughout the IDW continuity Working On It and figuring out for himself the answer to this question, but whoa hey it was a TRICK QUESTION the answer is ~*~inside him all along~*~*~

No seriously, it actually is. even though Drift goes through a whole lot of changes, including flipping his entire outward personality around like 180°, he doesn't change so much that there's absolutely nothing connecting him to his former self (though he'd probably love for you to think so lmao)

from what I’ve seen, fandom seems to assume that the most important aspects of Drift's character are that he started out as a street rat and that Deadlock was a Big Meanie Murderman and almost all of the fics I’ve read hugely reflect that, a lot of the fandom writes Drift based on their own personal assumptions (mainly assumptions of what they think a homeless drug addict would do and what they think a "Big Bad Decepticon" would do) rather than what Drift as a character would do. When writers don’t consider who Drift was as a person or why he was an addict/Decepticon and acted the way he did, it results in a lot of gross, insulting, boring, and out of character writing

This goes for current Drift too, with regards to his spirituality. Often he's characterized as a "stereotypical hippie", and fandom often doesn’t consider his motivation for being drawn towards it in the first place. Again, assumptions are made about what he is rather than what his actions are and it makes me yearn for death's sweet embrace so let's talk about the most important and consistent things to remember about Drift's character, like overall

There are at least a couple of things we know about him that are true, even through all the personality changes and emotional floundering:

1. When it comes to fight or flight, Drift is a solid fighter, he doesn't just take abuse lying down, he is more than capable of protecting himself.

2. He genuinely believes in justice, both as Drift and Deadlock. He can't stand when people with power abuse people without it.

Let's focus on street rat Drift and Deadlock for now since that's where a lot of people either didn't read or vastly misinterpreted, and also mtmte/lost light Drift is worthy of a section all to himself given how different he is

Point 1: times when Drift defended himself

That time when Gasket got killed and he wrecked the fuck out of the cops that did it in a fit of blind rage (COPS. Meaning he’s not afraid of authority)

That time when one of his Deception comrades told him he'd tattle on him to Turmoil and he shot him in the face (like. in front of everybody, not even trying to be subtle)

That time when Turmoil tried to execute him and he broke free and bailed (again. not afraid to disobey his superiors and get in trouble, cannot stress this enough)

That time when he did it to his own dang self!!! When the heart of darkness was controlling him

so yeah Drift is not one to sit back and let people walk all over him, if someone tries to force him to do something he truly is not okay with doing, he makes them stop and I swear by all that is holy if I see one more fic where he's a poor little ex-prostitute rape victim who just needs to be healed with The Good Dick I'm going to snap you in half like a kit kat bar

lengthways, bitch

point 2: times when Drift elaborated on or demonstrated his true motives (and how that motive is justice and not just rage, the rage is fuel for the justice, y’all)

literally the whole reason Drift became a decepticon was because *King of Town voice* GOVERNMENT AIN'T RIGHT like he was angry about the blatant inequality that led to starvation and death for no reason other than greed on the part of the higher-ups

Deadlock was not super cruel and did not take pleasure in killing autobots like "heehee look how weak they are I love tormenting things weaker than me" he quickly killed as many autobots as he could because he genuinely believed that wiping them all out would win the war and that winning the war would make sure that Cybertron could become a place where no one has to go through what he did in the streets of Rodion

he was never a sadist who enjoyed causing pain and torturing autobots to make himself feel powerful or take out his aggression on them, his goal was to quickly eliminate as many of them as possible and he did a very good job of it and that is why he was an infamous decepticon, because of his absurdly high kill count

now let's get into mtmte Drift and how all this still applies to him even though he's way different now

point 1: still defending himself even though he’s nicer now

yes he liked Rodimus and let Roddy get away with a lot of things he probably would not have put up with as Deadlock but Roddy never crossed that line into "genuinely uncool" and Drift would get real with him even before the exile, like I know Ratchet said Drift "tells him everything he wants to hear" but like. not really lmAO

and of course the whole discourse with the exile, Drift took the blame because he genuinely believed in the quest and his vision and that Rodimus had to be there to see it through, you could honestly argue that it had more to do with his vision than his friendship with Roddy, like yeah they're tight but Drift had his moments where he wasn't totally down with his antics (as shown above) and he really bet everything he had on this quest

Rodimus never abused him or anything like that. Took advantage of him, sure, but like I said, he never crossed that line into “genuinely uncool” and even if he ever tried to, Drift does have his limits and does know how to say no, it’s not an unbalanced relationship, Drift just prioritized the quest above all else and him doing so happened to work in Roddy’s favor (not that Roddy wanted it to since he came clean about everything later but that’s a whole other discussion for another time)

same with Ratchet and his jabs at this religion, Drift’s got his limits and Ratchet has seen them lmao

Drift is also still badass at fighting, let's not forget that

he also still gets angry like he used to, he's not an emotional pushover either

I'd also like to mention that even after his realization of self worth in Empire of Stone where he accepts that he's good for more than just being a weapon to be used by an ideal, he's still holding his own, but less lethally

Usin them hilts instead of the blades, good job honey

point 2: he still cares about justice and doing what’s right even though his mind’s been changed on how to make it happen

during his exile he went around saving mostly organics from decepticon attacks and tyranny, granted yes part of it was probably out of guilt since he no doubt participated in some destruction of organics when Megatron had him convinced it was to help Cybertron but all that's really changed is that now he realizes organics actually aren't detrimental to cybertronian freedom and they deserve to live in peace just as much as he does.

He didn't suddenly go from "whatever, organics aren't even sentient it’s fine to kill them" to "oh shit maybe they are sentient my bad", he went from "Megatron told me organics are trying to impede our freedom much like the autobots are, I have to wipe them out too if we want to win this war and live in peace" to "whoopsie doo it turns out Megatron lied to me and we're treating these organics just like the senate treated us, I have to stop this"

also the Lost Light’s quest! The whole point of the quest was to find the knights of cybertron so they could make the planet suck less, he’s still trying his best to take action to make things better on a large scale like he bought the ship and kickstarted the quest, he’s just lucky Roddy wanted to come with and charmed 200+ people into joining and being their crew for him lmAO he probably would’ve gone by himself anyway if Roddy had refused to help, he really believed in the vision he got that told him to find the knights more than anything

so yeah these two points have way more to do with Drift's character and looking over his whole arc with them in mind makes him much easier to understand, he’s a lot more than just “a helpless victim street rat who turned into a sadist to rival the DJD and then randomly became a hippie” he’s actually a pretty consistent character despite the outward personality shifts and hopefully this helps anyone having trouble characterizing him

[a-room-of-my-own]

Authenticity & empathy: Meghan Murphy

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010, is the founder and editor Feminist Current, Canada’s leading feminist website and has published work in numerous national and international publications.

This is the text of the speech she gave at the 22nd meeting of Woman’s Place UK.

I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity lately. We’re currently living in a culture wherein authenticity has been traded in for fakery. We support and reward virtue signalling and punish those who are real, those who tell the truth, those with integrity, those who insist on making political arguments based on critical thinking and what is right, rational, and ethical, instead of based on what is politically correct or popular.

I have a rather overzealous commitment to authenticity, which I think has played a sizable role in my insistence on pushing back against gender identity ideology and legislation. I know I have friends, or acquaintances, or friends of friends, or random internet followers with self righteous opinions who think maybe I should just back off of this. Or who claim I’m being ‘mean’ or unempathetic, because I continue to operate in reality rather than the fantasy land we’re told is the new normal, wherein black is white, up is down, and men are women.

But I see no empathy for women and girls on the part of trans activists, that is to say, those pushing gender identity ideology and legislation. What I see is bullying, threats, ostracization, and a misogynist backlash against the feminist movement and much of the work it’s accomplished over years.

I see no empathy for women who are now being forced to compete against male athletes in sport, essentially rendering women’s sport nonexistant, as they can no longer compete on fair ground, if forced to compete against men. I see no empathy for the female athletes speaking out against this reprehensible trend — instead they’re being smeared and threatened. I see no empathy for the lesbians being bullied right out of their own events and communities, as the LGBTQxyz+++ whatever movement does nothing to support them, and in fact seems instead to support the men pushing them around and hurling verbal abuse at them, simply for asserting that lesbians are females who are attracted to other females, not heterosexual men interested in playing around with lipstick.

We held an event in Vancouver earlier this month, addressing the issue of gender identity and kids, and our venue — the Croatian Cultural Centre — received so many threats they had to file a police report, hire their own security, and bring in the Vancouver Police Department to keep protesters off the property. They, for once, didn’t blame us — women, feminists — for the threats of violence sent their way, and rather asked, with disbelief, how it was us the trans activists were accusing of being ‘hateful’, while simultaneously verbally abusing and threatening violence against the venue’s staff.

Somewhere between 150 and 200 protesters showed up, and stood outside with signs saying things like, “Support trans youth”, “Love and Solidarity”, “Love trans kids”, “be careful who you hate, it might be someone you love” and “love wins.”

All this branding around “love” has been incredibly successful, of course. We — women fighting for women’s rights, people fighting for the truth, those of us who insist on acknowledging that biology is real, that females and males are real things, and that, no, there is no such thing as a “female penis” —have been painted as hateful, intolerant, and bigoted, despite the fact that we are the only ones engaging (or trying to engage in) respectful, civil, rational debate and discussion, and being shut down over and over again.

Despite the fact that WE are the ones concerned about male violence against women and how gender identity ideology and legislation will hurt women, as well as kids, who are now being sent down a path towards hormones and surgery that will destroy their bodies permanently, simply because they don’t conform to sexist gender stereotypes, it is trans activists who have positioned themselves as caring and politically correct, and us as cruel and intolerant.

As I was leaving the venue after that event, the stragglers screamed at me that I had blood on my hands. Which of course I do not, and which, of course, is incredibly ironic considering how many times I’ve been told I should be murdered on account of my belief that you can’t change sex, and that it is not possible to be ‘born in the wrong body.’

I see no empathy in trans activism for the girls who will lose scholarships and opportunities to boys who can easily beat them in athletic competitions.

I see no empathy for women and girls who don’t feel comfortable with naked men in their change rooms at the pool. I see no empathy for youth being put on hormones that will have a lasting impact on them, including permanent sterilization, all to accommodate adults who don’t want to see trans ideology questioned under any circumstances.

I see no empathy for the women and their children who will have nowhere to turn if their local transition house is defunded on account of a women-only policy.

I see no empathy for Kristi Hanna, a Toronto woman and survivor of sexual assault, who had leave her room at Palmerston house, a shelter for recovering addicts, because she was made to share a room with a man, and did not feel safe.

I see no empathy for the 14 female estheticians who were asked to give a male a brazilian bikini wax, then dragged to court when they declined, saying they only offered the service to women.

I see no empathy for the girls allegedly predated on by this man, who is being protected by our very liberal, very progressive society that’s choosing to put male feelings and desires above all else, under the guise of ‘inclusion’, and thanks to trans activism.

Women and girls are being told they may not have boundaries. That they may not say ‘no’ to men. And this is what we are told it means to ‘choose love’. This is what we are being told is ‘feminism’.

Trans activism says women may not define their own bodies as female. That we may not have our own rights, services, and spaces, that ‘exclude’ men. It says gender stereotypes are real and innate, but the female body is a social construction. It says that ‘woman’ is based only on adherence to or an affinity towards femininity, something feminism has fought against for years.

So much of what women fought for over the past century is being rolled back, and progressives are insisting we all shut up and take it, because it’s ‘nice’, and of course, women must always be ‘nice’, even if it means putting our lives, autonomy, safety, opinions, and rights aside.

NOTHING about the trans movement is progressive and nothing about it is feminist.

I brought up authenticity earlier on, partly because I am sick to death of this social media based culture wherein we put forth personas we believe our audience will like, modeling perfect faces, lives, and thoughts, which I find incredibly boring and depressing, but also because I see this devaluing of authenticity as having an incredibly destructive impact on political discourse, and certainly it’s manifested itself powerfully in the trans movement.

I don’t believe that, aside from a few exceptionally delusional or troubled people, a majority of the population believes it’s possible to change sex. I don’t believe that all these so called progressives look at a man we call him ‘she’, and believe he is literally a woman. I don’t believe all these people claiming ‘love wins’ and insisting women be more ‘empathetic’ as they give up all their rights and spaces, while these activists spout vile, hateful insults and threats at us, are really very loving at all.

I think people are not telling the truth. I think they are repeating mantras and going along with ideas and policies in order to appease their Facebook friends. I think they value social status a lot, and are willing to give up ethics and truth in order to be liked. And I think it’s pathetic. I think that these people are throwing women under the bus and even selling themselves out in the process, knowing that they’re spouting lies for virtual cookies and using us all to fake politics.

And I refuse to be used as some kind of stepping stool for empty headed, cowardly hipsters — these extremely privileged people who have fetishized oppression, but have no idea what marginalized groups actually face and deal with on a daily basis, because certainly it’s not ‘misgendering’ that is keeping people poor and vulnerable — who can’t be bothered to read, listen, or think before announcing, boldly, that women with actual politics, who actually understand history, and who are bold enough to take a stand against actual bigotry and oppression should be silenced, punched, or even killed.

The wrong side of history is an embarrassing place to be.

But unfortunately I worry that, by the time these people realize how much damage they’ve caused by going along with such a destructive trend, it will be too late. What does give me hope is all of you. This massive and growing movement of people standing up and saying ‘no’, we won’t take this silently and sitting down. This groundswell of people insisting on telling the truth, despite the fact that we lose friends, jobs, social status, and sometimes safety, for doing so.

And the more we keep doing it, the more will join us.

Meghan Murphy

20th May 2019

[saibugs]

All of them. For your Rook. ALL THE QUESTIONS *jazz hands*

Thank you for the ask! Love you!!

The Basics

1. Give their full name, and describe them or post a picture! (Height, build, hair, eye, and skin color, etc.)

Cassidy Amanda Kennedy is my dear deputy’s name! She’s 165cm tall, has an athletic but slim build. She’s pale, but she does have some colour to her skin. She’s got wavy dark chestnut hair and blue eyes!

2. How old are they?

Cass is 36 during the events of Far Cry 5.

3. Sexuality and gender?

She’s heterosexual/heteroromantic, and she’s a cis female.

Pre-Game

1. How did they end up at the Hope County Sheriff’s Department? How long have they worked there?

Cass ended up at Hope Country Sheriff’s Department 2 years before Far Cry 5 took place, so she’s only worked there for 2 years. She ended up there because she was sick of dealing with gross men after being a truck driver since she was 22. She’s always wanted to be a cop and she got an opening, so she took it. Best and worst decision she ever made.

2. Relationship with Pratt, Hudson, and Whitehorse?

Pratt: she adores Pratt, thinks of him as a kid brother. She’s protective of him but not overbearingly so, considering he’s relatively ‘young’. She connects to him the most.

Hudson: they go out occasionally together, and Cass respects her attitude towards anything. She does, however, wish Hudson wasn’t so stubborn sometimes.

Whitehorse: Cass thinks of him as the father or uncle that she never had, and respects him to the point she’s willing to put her life on the line just so he has a chance to survive.

3. Do they have an education?

Cass has an education, high school level, but she didn’t graduate with any special honours. She’s average in that regard.

4. Where are they from? Did they speak a different language there?

She comes from Montana, USA, so she speaks good ol’ American English.

5. Is there anyone outside the valley that might have come looking for them?

No. Cass doesn’t tend to make enemies unless it’s for work, and they’re all behind bars at this point.

6. Did they have a religious background of any kind?

Absolutely not.

Inside Hope County

1. What was going through their head when the helicopter went down and during the subsequent chase?

“I’M GOING TO FUCKING DIE WE’RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.” She was terrified to death.

2. Were they afraid of Joseph and Eden’s Gate? Angry?

Oh definitely afraid. She’s seen far too much on cults to be feeling safe. But it itensified, right at the end, right as he walked into her view. Because she could tell something was wrong.

3. Did they trust Dutch?

Somewhat. She trusts him enough, but after the crash, after Burke left her to die, she wasn’t exactly able to trust him fully.

4. How did they feel about their team being taken by the cult, did they count them as lost, did they want them back, did they not care?

She was scared that they were going to die, almost paralysed with fear. She’d never been put in this situation. But she wanted them back and she vowed she’d do everything to save them from whatever hells they were going for.

5. How did they take to the idea of being part of, if not leading, the resistance?

She took to it well. Anything to be able to get her friends back.

6. Which companions did they recruit, and who did they travel with the most?

She recruited Sharky, Nick, Peaches, Cheeseburger, Boomer. (Those are the ones I recruited in the game, sure I did more but cannot remember for the life of me.) She travelled with Peaches the most, but most of the time she was on her own.

7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it?

She didn’t have time to FIND romance because she’s already in love with Jacob Seed.

8. Feelings about Joseph?

She hates him, and she’s terrified of what he is capable of. She thinks he’s a manipulative prick of a man, a murderer, cruel, and blindingly charismatic. And she’s scared that she might be able to be convinced he’s right, even if she knows in her heart that he’s wrong.

9. Feelings about the other Seeds?

John Seed: she doesn’t quite pity him, but he makes her heart ache. She can tell he’s in pain, terrible terrible pain, and while she can’t completely sympathise she can definitely empathise. He’s being manipulated and she wants to try save him.

Jacob Seed: she’s honestly confused here. She loves him to death, after falling hard for him when they met back in 2002 (before all the cult shit). But she’s also hurt that he would do what he has to her, to her friends… and after he breaks her, she struggles with her feelings for him, thinking she hates him when all she feels is just… heartache.

Faith Seed: Faith terrifies the shit out of Cass. While she wants to save Faith too, the fact that she can so easily manipulate with Bliss is something Cass dreads with every fibre of her being.

10. How did they handle having to kill animals and other humans? Had they done it before?

Cass handles killing other humans poorly, although she knows it’s either them or her. She makes sure it’s as quick as possible so those people–even the Peggies–aren’t in pain for too long.

Animals, on the other hand… if it’s a dog or something domestic, she cries (even with cows, she loves cows). If it’s something like a wild cougar or a bear, though… mostly she screams and runs and fires like a crazy woman, but she handles killing them well enough.

11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all?

In game, Cass chose the walk-away ending. But in my headcanon, she didn’t kill the Seeds; she saved them. Jacob and her got out of Hope County after he broke her, and after he realised who she was with her crying out an old nickname. 16-17 years later, she finally has to come face to face with a problem she never quite took care of.

She also managed to save her friends from the Seeds, and made sure they knew they had to get the fuck out of Hope County.

Personal

1. Favorite weapon(s)?

The MBP .50 “Blood & Dragon”. IT GLOWS.

2. Stealth or firepower?

Stealth. She’s not particularly strong, but she is agile.

3. How did they spend their time, when not fighting peggies?

She likes going on long drives, and driving trucks. Or she likes exploring the wilderness.

4. Where did they live during the events of the game?

She lived in Montana about 200 miles out of Hope County.

5. Any other facts you want to share about your Deputy!

Cass has two tattoos! She has a tattoo of a cherry blossom branch snaking down from her left shoulder to her left elbow, and she also has a tattoo on her thigh of roses and lilies! Both are in full colour.

Cass had a rough past, she wasn’t raised by her parents (as they were hard drug addicts and neglected her physically). Instead she was raised by her aunt, who neglected her emotionally and drove her to rebel. As a result she’s fiercely independent and isn’t traditionally ‘feminine’, although that’s not to say she doesn’t like doing feminine things.

When she fell in love with Jacob back in 2002, she never told him, although they were incredibly close. They were ALMOST lovers at one point, but she secured a job driving around the country, and ultimately lost contact with Jacob. She didn’t hear from him again until the events of Far Cry 5.

Cass wants to have a family one day, but she’s terrified she’ll be just like her parents.

After getting the WRATH tattoo from John, she wears it proudly.

The song ‘Only You’ actually used to be a favourite song of hers. Now she can’t listen to it and it makes her sad.