#like. do i think the gay little ship would b fun. absolutely

[eucharistcunningham]

so glad that eucharist is an oc and that there is not an insane fandom out there who sent the actress death threats bc she liked a ship she was part of that was close to being canon. sure glad that never happened huh

[imagining-in-the-margins]

🌈CM Pride Challenge🏳️‍⚧️

The following are prompts including LGBTQA+ PRIDE! Reader, Original Character, Character/Character ships, Gen/Platonic fics are allowed!Please check out the Rules below the Keep Reading.

This event is over (Masterlist of Fics here), but you are welcome to use any of these prompts. If you would like to be added to the existing Masterlist of entries, please check out the Rules below!

General Prompts 🏳️‍🌈

Coming out is so much harder the second time

Describe Character’s first kiss with the same gender

Describe Character(s) spending a day at a Pride parade

The team realizes that A&B were more than roommates

Penelope goes a little overboard on rainbow decorations at Characters’ wedding

Character's marriage mutually comes to an end when they come out... now what?

Character comes out at the same time they announce their new relationship to the team

Character A fears it’s too late for them to live authentically, and B assures them that’s not true

Character A gifts B something colored like their pride flag because “the colors reminded me of you”

Child realizes that not every kid has two moms/two dads and they have a lot of questions about it

Queer characters have a hard time deciding what their child should call them and come up with fun ideas

Character A goes to a LGBT bar with B as a wingperson (or maybe they want them, themselves?)

Anything else you can think of!

More prompts (transgender, assorted, dialogue) below!

Transgender Prompts 🏳️‍⚧️

Character A helps B get their first tailored dress/suit

Character A helps B shave and/or put on makeup

The couple is looking for gender neutral nicknames

Character A buys B specialty gender affirming lingerie

Character is casually referred to with an appropriately gendered nickname for the first time

Characters are renewing their vows and redoing their wedding photos following a coming out

Character A walks in on B wearing a new gender-affirming outfit and surprises them with an enthusiastic compliment

The team throws Character an impromptu first birthday party following their coming out (how did they get a banner so fast?!)

Character A buys B a gender affirming but stereotypical gift (sports jersey, neon pink purse, etc.) that they would otherwise hate (but find absolutely hilarious)

Specific Prompts 💝

[Bisexual] Character gets irritated when people reduce their sexuality to their current partner

[Bisexual] Character A is in a M/F relationship with B and worries that their queer identity will become invisible dating them

[Asexual] Characters explore different forms of non-sexual intimacy

[Asexual] Characters are both asexual but too nervous to tell one another. They awkwardly attempt to have sex but end up laughing at how ridiculous they feel.

Dialogue Prompts 💐

“Are they… flirting?” “Big time.”

“I got to fall in love with you twice.”

“To be seen is to be loved." "I see you.”

“Be gay, do crimes.” “Aren’t you a cop?”

“There is no heterosexual explanation for that.”

“Life is very different once you find your people.”

“Cardinals and hydrangeas can change. Why not you?”

“You're still the person I love. Nothing will change that.”

“We both wear pants. Makes it easier to kick your ass.”

“It’s never felt like this before. I've never felt like this before.”

“I guess it makes sense now why it never worked out with my exes.”

Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong when she's just so nice to look at? ("She" by Dodie)

“You can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling ... Well, good luck, babe. You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.” ("Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan)

Rules ❤️🧡💚💙💜🖤🤎

The fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.

Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I’m collecting both! You can also tag it “#mentioningmargins” which is a tag I track.

The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check.Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed.

Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post.

Have fun!

🌈Happy writing! 🏳️‍⚧️

[cloverlilly91]

WOOOOOO SECOND FICTOBER FIC

I had fun writing this hehehhwhahahaha

Ship is: Transmasc! Revivedbur x Quackity

Trigger warnings for: a/b/o universe, detailed NSFW bc I'm gay like that, PEGGING, body worship

I had fun writing this, so hopefully, you guys have fun reading it!!

ENJOYYYY!!!!

taglist: @lillyspeakz @simpburtheloser

God. Fucking. Damnit.

Wilbur was out of heat suppressant pills. And he had a strong urge to fuck something. Or more specifically... someone.

He made his way out of his cabin, taking quick but measured steps towards Las Nevadas. Was he meant to be there? No. Was he going to go just to mess with Quackity and hopefully get to fuck him? Absolutely.

He snuck into Las Nevadas, quickly making his way to Quackity's office with a smug grin. His pheromones were releasing like crazy, and it made him want to fuck Quackity the second he saw him. But he wouldn't do that. Yeah, he was crazy, but he wasn't a monster. He followed the scent of Quackity's stress, grinning as he entered the office. "Well, if it isn't my favorite duck," he said mockingly. Quackity's head shot up, and he glared at Wilbur. "Hijo de la- What do you want, Wilbur," he snapped, flaring his wings angrily. "Oh calm down ducky, I just wanted to see you," Wilbur replied, his tone one he would often use on Tommy when treating him like a little kid.

Quackity's eyes narrowed, and he sighed angrily. "Whatever you want, forget about it. You're not getting shit from me," he hissed. Wilbur chuckled, his pheromones releasing into the air as he took long, steady strides toward Quackity. Quackity's eyes widened as he finally caught a whiff of Wilbur's scent, realizing why Wilbur was there. "You're in heat," he said. It wasn't a question. "Indeed I am, and I want you to let me fuck you. Just for tonight, and we can pretend it never happened. In return, I'll leave you and your country alone... for a while," Wilbur responded, grinning.

Quackity thought for a bit, eventually sighing and standing up. "Fine. But just this once. If you ever ask me for something like this again I'm killing you." "Understood," was all Wilbur said, walking to Quackity's side. "Por qué estoy haciendo esta chingadera," Quackity muttered under his breath. "What was that?" Wilbur asked, leaning down to plant a kiss on Quackity's neck. "Nothing," he responded, shuddering at the kiss to his neck. "I think you're lying," Wilbur said, almost teasingly as he reached for Quackity's belt.

Quackity's breath caught in his throat as Wilbur's fingers brushed over his length. Involuntarily, his hips bucked up, chasing Wilbur's touch. Wilbur chuckled, a smirk forming on his lips. "You that desperate? Fucking whore," he teased. "Shut up, I don't exactly have a lot of time for shit like this," Quackity huffed, gasping as Will wrapped his hand around Quackity's clothed dick, squeezing him.

"Fuck," Quackity hissed, gritting his teeth. Wilbur chuckled, slowly rubbing him. "Stupid little whore," he teased, pulling Quackity out of his seat and pinning him against the wall. Quackity let out a surprised quack as Wilbur pulled down his pants, biting his lip as he slipped the tip of his middle finger in him. "Ay, mierda," he murmured, arching his back to meet Wilbur's touch, making the ex-president laugh. "That needy already?" he teased. "Shut up!" Quackity snapped.

From somewhere only gods know where Wilbur pulled out a strap-on and lube. "Where in the fuck were you hiding that?" Quackity questioned. "Wouldn't you like to know," Wilbur said as he took off his clothes. He put the toy on, decidedly keeping his chest binder on as he lubed Quackity up. "Ay, that's cold," Quackity hissed. "Oh, calm down. I might hate you, but I don't want to hurt you when we're fucking," Wilbur snapped, his hips suddenly thrusting forward to thrust into Quackity.

"Fuck!" Quackity cried out, clenching around the toy as he struggled to breathe. He hadn't been fucked in so long, and the sudden intrusion caught him off guard. Arching his back, he grinded his hips against the toy, desperate for some form of satisfaction. Wilbur chuckled darkly, grasping Quackity's hips harshly to keep him still, drawing a whine from the man. "You have to say it, use your words," Wilbur teased, smirking.

"Kill yourself," Quackity growled, struggling against Wilbur's hold. "Awww, you're so mean!" Wilbur pouted, pretending to be hurt. He reached around, grabbing Quackity's cock and squeezing. "Use your words," he hissed, glaring at Q. Quackity whined, bucking his hips slightly. "Fine," he spat. "Hurry up and fuck me!"

Wilbur laughed, thrusting agonizingly slowly into Quackity. "That's good, but not good enough." Quackity whined, bucking his hips to get more friction.

"What, you want me to beg?"

"That is exactly what I want."

Quackity groaned, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "You're annoying," he huffed.

"I know."

Quackity gasped as Wilbur bucked his hips forward, shoving the toy even deeper. "Fuck," he whined, leaning against the wall. "Hm? What was that?" Wilbur asked. "Fuck me..." Quackity whimpered, his thoughts hazy already. Wilbur chuckled. "Already being fucked stupid, eh?" He asked, starting to thrust into Quackity, his pace slow and measured. Quackity moaned, arching his back to meet Wilbur's thrusts. "You bitch," he muttered. "How am I the bitch?" Wilbur questioned, harshly thrusting into Quackity. Letting go of Quackity's hips, Wilbur let his hands roam over Quackity's body, gently brushing over every scar, burn, and marks that have yet to fade. Quackity shuddered, his wings fluttering manically.

Leaning down, Wilbur gently nipped at the base of Quackity's wings, making him cry out in pleasure. He began to pepper kisses along Quackity's back, focusing on the area between his wings. "Fucking-" Quackity cut himself off with a moan as Wilbur nipped at the base of his wings. Wilbur sped up the pace of his thrusts, making Quackity cry out in pleasure.

"You bitch!" he whined, leaning heavily against Wilbur, who was palming him and jerking him off in time with his thrusts, his other hand wandering over Quackity's body. "Oh, calm down. I'm just making you feel good," Wilbur said, caressing one of Quackity's wings. "Fuck, so close," Quackity whined, thrusting into Wilbur's hand desperately.

Without warning, Wilbur squeezed Quackity's length, giving him the final push he needed. He spilled onto Wilbur's hand, whining. Wilbur chuckled and pulled out of him, kissing his neck. "Good boy," he teased, Quackity leaning against the wall and trying to catch his breath. "Go fuck yourself," Quackity panted as Wilbur got dressed. Wilbur glanced back at Quackity, pulling his coat on. "I gladly will," he teased, walking out and leaving Quackity to clean himself up.

[vintage-bentley]

that spockgirl post is weird. "the exact moment terry pratchett found out about homosexuality"

a) his generation had a better grasp of what a homosexual was than people do today

b) "they got a cottage together on the south downs" is the most terry pratchett happy ending for a ship you've ever heard of. this part of the conversation was not coming out of neil gaiman's mouth, i assure you. all you have to do is read both their work and it's blindingly obvious. NEIL would have been the one surprised to hear about the south downs, and terry the one who suggested it.

i don't know what's more annoying to me: the assumption that because terry was older he must have been the clueless one who needed to be educated about the existence of The Gays . . . or the idea that neil was the one to bring ineffable homosexuality to the table, when we have literally watched this man's multi-decade journey towards acceptance unfold in real time, right to the glorious era of revisionist neilstory we live in now.

an era i'm grateful for, don't get me wrong. but please. terry was the one slipping a discreet gay love story past the audience (and his co-author, apparently), content to let it speak for itself, and neil was the one shocked to learn people were reading into what he considered a perfectly normal bit of 90's no homo humour. the intended sequel was probably no more overtly gay than good omens itself, with the romance more implied, through little things the homophobes could pretend had another meaning instead. the idea that neil planned to have the exact same love story (kissing and all!) that we're watching onscreen in the 2020s play out in a novel of the mid nineties, is just . . . so unlikely. it kills me that so much of the modern tumblr fandom doesn't understand this, and takes neil at his word on this revisionist history.

i think neil has genuinely come around on the idea of the ineffable husbands as a romantic pairing, and i appreciate that. but i wish he didn't feel the need to lie about this evolution, and i wish the new generation of fans would stop their uncritical kissing of his arse. it's awkward for everyone

The post

—

I completely get what you’re saying, but I also feel like it’s not really That Deep? I just saw it as a mildly funny post making fun of straight men discussing making their self insert characters gay and in love.

But I agree that it’s more likely that it was Terry who suggested the South Downs Cottage, not Neil “slash makes me uncomfortable” Straightman. It is interesting that everyone defaults to assuming Neil’s the one who brought the romance to the table, because of how much they idolise him and ignore his past of ineffable husbands denialism.

I think that post in particular is a lighthearted joke and isn’t actually trying to imply that Neil introduced Terry to the wondrous world of homosexuality…but you’re still absolutely right regarding the fandom in general. I’m really tired of the Neil worship.

[henrysglock]

What what who and who do you ship now...I'm so confused

Okay, Nonnie. Here's the rundown. Get ready, because it's a bit complex.

What I ship in canon is very different from what I ship in fanon!!

I don't ship Patty and Henry as a canon/endgame couple. This is mainly because a) I don't want Patty to be reduced to "Henry's girlfriend" rather than having her be her own stand-alone character with a proper arc that Henry happens to fit into, b) I think Henry's gay, and c) I don't think there's a whole lot of canon basis/there are more signs that they won't end up together than anything else.

However.

I think it would be very entertaining to have a version where the three of them (Henry, Scott, Patty) were all school friends, and Henry ends up married to Patty because he genuinely loves/trusts her, even if they're not romantically into each other (i.e. married for the benefits type deal). However, he's 100% into Scott/they've got a romantic thing going on. Meanwhile, Patty and Scott are sitting there together like: Screwing Henry?

Y'know, classic qpr/throuple shit.

More of a...

Patty and Henry aren't in love with each other, but they do love each other dearly, and they could absolutely keep each other happy, iykwim, even if the attraction isn't there (it's a nuanced approach to attraction vs "i'll bite, we can make it work"). Patty's not opposed to sharing Henry with Scott, especially since they're clearly over the moon for each other/she grew up being good friends with Scott and likes him well enough anyway.

...type deal.

She's not in love with Henry, she got over her puppy crush on him a long time ago, but she also knows they have a mutual respect/deep bond (they were in the Hawkins High trenches together) that means she's going to have a happy, loving home. Henry's still serving Kinsey 7 when it comes to attraction, absolutely, but what's he going to do? Turn down a really good situation that comes with tax benefits, a qpr/fwb housemate, and a break from the gay allegations? And honestly, what other lady could possibly be a better fit for this than Patty, who already knows everything off-putting that there is to know about him and loves him anyway? (Also. Henry's absolutely the "wife" here. Patty's holding the reins in this household. Mark my words: that man is not dominant)

Thus: "I'm Patty, and this is my quasi-wife Henry, and his all-but-legal husband Scott, who's a good friend of mine".

I'm also not one to slip into gold-star mindsets, because once you start getting into "what makes someone a real homosexual/what are real homosexuals 'allowed' to do in the bedroom" debates, you start down a slippery slope into bioessentialism/trying to define what it means to be a "real" man or a "real" woman in regard to who's "allowed" to sleep with whom while still being a "real" homosexual. That ends up with us trying to force people into neat little boxes, which is coincidentally something that Henry as a character is entirely opposed to (but that's a tangential conversation).

tl;dr: Do I ship Creelby as a canon endgame couple? No.

Do I think it's fun to make up stories with Creelby-Creelarke like weird Barbie and her two Kens from the Barbie movie? Yes.

Telling my non-ST friends this was the Creelby-Creelarke household:

[mifhortunach]

the Wonderful @rhavewellyarnbag (theirs here!) tagged me in a thing to list '8' shows to get to know me better - ty!

i honestly dont watch a lot of tv, so this is all over the place, deepest apologies:

The Terror (2018) - obviously!! if we have spoken it is almost certainly bc of this show. One of the purest alignments of all of my interests & 'concerns'- its got it ALL!: the arctic, old ships, guys being trapped in a place & set of social structures/roles, lots of ice, man-hauling, cannibalism, the historical voice resolving itself into fate(?), etc etc etc, the list just goes on & on.

Barry - in part just bc im thinking about it lots atm, in part bc, like the terror, its doing a lot of stuff i'm super into; who DOESNT like smth that's just looking real hard at what 'performing' means, as well as the violence in everything, and yknow... its funny

Beyond Belief - i dont think anyone should really watch this, BUT i watched SO much of this as a kid, and forced my friends to watch so much of it, that somewhere it surely must be deeply embedded in my psyche. when i first saw tng i was like, 'omg, your man from beyond belief???', watch the guaranteed video spoof instead (x) :)

spn - similar to above lbr. i watched almost all of it over a 1-2 month period when i was like. 14, and haven't seen it since really, but it did manage to introduce me to a surprising amount of music :/ - i DO believe there are some genuine bangers in there though; both songs & eps

The Tick - i'm mostly thinking of the '01 version i guess, but the 2016 series is honestly the better of the two. theres just really smth to how it works being a superhero as a gay metaphor, as well as how much it is genuinely just basically a superhero sitcom lol. the 2016 one has much more heart, but the 2001 id like to mold in my hands ykwim?

This Morning with Richard not Judy - bizarro late-90s comedy 'morning show', you can only find it kinda low-quality on youtube now. i dont think its either as daring or as weird as fist of fun, but some of the segments are pretty good, and i like its qualities of both repetition pushed to a breaking point, and refusal to be friendly with the audience.

The IT Crowd - genuinely would NOT rec, remember SO very little of it, but i DO think about that "a fire? at a sea-parks???" bit so SO often - unbelievable delivery - just watch that clip, and imagine that being a whole B or C plot for an episode of television, leave the rest

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - absolutely unique, matt holness is still the dirk gently casting of my dreams; you do have to put up with so much early 00s british comedian spotting tho

tagging, if they're interested :) !: @silverview @mithridic @cctinsleybaxter @nonsensegnomes @jdmara @imageofvoid @kinksheriff

[skywitchmaja]

ULTIMATE!! TEEN WOLF!! SHIP!! TIER LIST!!*

*plagiarized with love from @manicpixiedreamkiller <3

teen wolf ship tier list

s tier: any pack polycule but particularly scilydalia (scott stiles lydia malia this one’s fun because they’re all besties and a little bit in love with each other <3) and scisaallistydia (scott isaac allison stiles lydia. this one’s fun because its like *scott voice* “this is my boyfriend isaac who’s gay for me but straight for my girlfriend allison, who’s straight for me but gay for her girlfriend lydia, who is gay but has a weird codependent thing with stiles, who is my other boyfriend and he loves me but he hates isaac so much. it’s not that complicated.”), sciles <3.

a tier: malialydira (malia lydia kira. cute & fun), scisaallison (scott isaac allison. genuine throuple-bait), scilira (scott stiles kira. they’re cute, i think this would be a scott centric throuple but it could work), allydia, malydia, malira, kalira (you get it), chriserek (chris/derek. SHOULD have been the otp of the adult cast)

b tier: liam/hayden (they’re like troy and gabriella with more drama, what’s not to love?), mason/corey (ride or die <3), jackson/ethan (glad being gay was the chill pill jackson needed), ethan/danny (sweet), jackson/danny (onesided. it’s cannon to me), stiles/danny (onesided. it’s cannon to me), thiam (i can’t say i don’t see it), stydia (i love both of them with my whole heart i love all their scenes together, i think they would be an absolute nightmare of a couple and that would be fun, but i do think lydia should be a lesbian), scilydia (scott/stiles/lydia. i think the three of them would balance each other out where the individual pairings might struggle. but i still think lydia should be a lesbian), scilydison (scott/stiles/lydia/allison. similar vibe to scilydalia but sorry i like malia more than allison sorry i’m so sorry), scalia (somehow they read more jock4jock than scott/kira, who were actually on the lacrosse team together, and i love it. but i do think malia should a lesbian tbh), jackson/lydia (as @manicpixiedreamkiller said: “lavender high school power couple”), scilydiallackson (scott/stiles/lydia/allison/jackson. the most high school soap opera group of kids. cause so many problems with such intricate rituals. go team!), scillison (scott/stiles/allison. similar vibe to stilira), scydia (i love their arc from “only manifests to cause problems which are immediately resolved” to “aw their so sweet, look at them teaming up to save their shared love interest (stiles. stiles. allison. stiles again. am i missing any? i’m sure i am.)), stydalia (stiles/lydia/malia. would be fun but without scott, i think they would be wanted in three states after 30 minutes of hanging out), scallison (sure, they’re sweet), scileo (scott/stiles/theo. good antagonistic dynamic but stressed me the fuck out.), scisaacles (scott/isaac/stiles. love the mess love the chaos love stiles and stiles lite tm vying for scott’s love but where is allison?)

c tier: stiles/isaac (antagonistic. fun & messy & i think if they were trapped in a room together they would melt windows with the sheer power of their mutual loathing, but i think they should both do better), stiles/theo (basically the same as previous but i like theo much much much less than isaac), chris/melissa (why did this happen?), sheriff stilinski/lydia’s mom (why did this happen?), melissa/chris (why did this happen?), stalia (never meant anything to me as a couple, but they had some fun scenes & some murder couple potential), lydia/aidan (boring), melissa/rafael (they are divorced for a reason, duh), sheriff stilinski/stiles’ ghost mom (scary!!)

? tier (on screen for all of 5 seconds but fun while they lasted): ericallison (homoerotic worsties <3), scott/boyd (would be sweet, like aww they’re both so sweet <3), cora/stiles (basically stalia but i like it more for reasons i can’t define), erica/boyd/cora (or any combo of the three i’m not writing them all out. i mean, they seem to care for each other at least as friends), scott/jackson (intricate rituals, fun while it lasted), stiles/jackson (so much potential for chaos and problems), jacksallison (there to cause problems for two episodes and that is IT!), isaac/erica/boyd (sure, why not?), derek/evil-sexy-english-teacher (it was funny), derek/brayden (the actress has a young looking face so i was thrown off at first, but i too have a young looking face so i can’t hold that against them. fun while they lasted.), peter/deucalion (i just think it would be fun <3), kali/evil-sexy-english-teacher (horrible toxic dyke drama!!! 16 dead!!!)

f tier: derek/kate, sterek, parish/lydia, any adult with any teenager ffs

[clockwise-works]

💘, 👊, 💣?

💘 Favorite Zelda ship(s)?

Obvious one aside, for the BotW... none to the degree I like Miphlink. If they're ones that involve Link or Mipha, they are ones I do not personally care for, even if it's an AU or alternative timeline or TotK. A world where Mipha wasn't born? Link will die alone 😤

Ok OK extreme joke, sure, but for ones that don't involve them? Zelimpa is... cute. I guess. In the same sense that Mario and Peach are "cute." I won't ship it a whole deal myself, but it's there, I think it's neat, you know. I've seen some people do Purah and Zelda, and that ones... well honestly I'm surprised there isn't more of it. People really like that "gay women in science" thing, and the two DO share some common interests. I guess i think it's interesting too, not to the degree of Impa and Zelda, but I can see why someone would like it. Hell, in AoC you can think Zelimpa and the two live happy, and in BotW and TotK it's Zelrah (or whatever the fuck it's called), since Purah de-ages herself. Idk, I don't care enough to make a definitive choice, but going the Purah route DOES mean that Zelda gets a life partner who isn't nearly dead and isn't link or an oc. So that's neat I guess.

Outside BotW? I tend to avoid the games so when I play them they have a greater impact, but I DO see a good amount of Linked Universe stuff, as well as following other Miphlink artists/writers who like other ships as well. Smilesrobotlover and a few others have made Midlink interesting to me, and part of it will probably be because of overlap in themes with Miphlink (them being from "different worlds" being a key one). Zelink in SS for similar reasons, this time attributed to Skyloftian-nutcase, instead with the "childhood friends" theme. When i eventually make it through the others, I'm not going in with the intent to find a ship, but if one ends up gripping me and making me WANT to see more of them, to see them together, then that'll be another ship to add to my list. It's gotta be one that makes me really feel the connection between the two characters, but since I only have general understandings of the Link + the main girl other than Zelda dynamics in those games, I can't list too many sadly.

👊 Favorite Zelda Villain/Boss?

So there's two ways of going about this one. In a gameplay sense, and in an emotional sense. Going with an emotional sense, the Blights probably do win this one, simply because they have the whole "Your fighting a monster that killed a past friend/lover/brother/rival/etc in their very Divine Beast that was meant to protect them" thing going on, and that is absolutely amazing in terms of making me WANT to see them dead beyond progressing the story. Comparatively, I don't care to kill Mucktorock simply because it's just... there. An obstacle. One that poses a danger, sure, but so does any other enemy, really.

The blights also are pretty well designed I'd say, since the whole thing is that Calamity Ganon ends up reusing a lot of their attacks in his first phase since they're fragments of him. It's a good way to prepare you for the final boss, to test your skills and see just how fare you've come. I think they would've been better though if Calamity Ganon itself had changed the attacks up a little more, adding a twist to their attacks, cause currently it feels too similar. Less of an evolution challenge and instead a repeat.

Waterblight is probably my favorite of the four, as I think it's the best designed with the mindset of being the first one you fight. Sure, the game is open and you can do any first (I pray for those that started with Thunder), hell you can even do none. But with them placing Zoras Domain closest to Kakariko and how its designed, Waterblight feels the most like an introductory boss, and really sets the stage for what to expect.

Outside BotW, one of the most fun to go against was Colgera. The TotK bosses were... subpar, in my opinion, EXCEPT for Colgera. While yes, he did lack the same stakes as the blights since he's kinda just there, it's made up for with a really fun and engaging battle, with one of the best themes in the game. It's a little easy, sure, but is an absolute BLAST to play.

💣 Favorite Zelda Item/Weapon?

If armors don't count (if they do, then Zora Armor because wearing your dead fiance's armor hand made to protect you is an amazing trope) than I gotta go with Savage Lynel Sword and a good shield. Out of all the combat methods, I much prefer the sword and shield setup. I love last second parrys and flurry attacks, I love the overall speed and flow of striking with my sword, immediately pulling out my shield, and parrying a lynel or something. The broadsword and Spear have an extra step where you have to put away the weapon to pull out your shield, and while it works really well for balancing and giving the player different methods with varying benefits, the general sense of flow the standard method offers is my favorite. And since I especially love just throwing myself at a powerful enemy and attempting to solo them (to the point I disable the Sages), high tiered single hand swords are my go to.

Outside BotW? I haven't played a game with it yet, but the hookshot. In my opinion, the hookshot is almost as iconic as the Master Sword itself in terms of Link's armory, and the potential of it just screams to me. Sure, maybe it actually sucks and I'll learn soon enough, but just the whole being able to shoot off to another surface/platform with a hookshot just SCREAMS clever dungeon design to me. It's the item I most anticipate using, to the point I think TotK shouldve added it for traversal since they removed Revali's Gale. Sure, I can achieve it with a workaround with pine cones, but 1. That's stupid 2. Sure, I can use Ascend, but that only works with a ceiling to stand under.

[acheronidae]

SORRY I BUMPED THE BUTTON AS I WAS GOING TO SAY

TO KEEP THE TRAIN GOING: what are your ones on pk or the white lady?

I love talking about HK for long periods of time, so how about I do both?

The Pale King:

Sexuality Headcanon: Pan, anybody can get it. There isn't a seperate section for it but he's polyamorous as well.

Gender Headcanon: Demiboy, same as Grimm, only he has even less of a grasp on what being male is supposed to mean.

OTP: Pale Nightmare of course, which actually started out as a notp funnily enough, but then I accidentally read a fic for it and ended up falling in love with this ship. They have a fun and intetesting dynamic with each other, and it can make sense in the canon story(explaining why it does will probably need an entire post all on it's own because I have a lot to say). Secondary ships include Wyrmroot and Palewatcher.

BroTP: Monomon, the two of them are sleep deprived science dorks and will fuel each other's dumb ideas. He has a similar thing with Hegemol only to a lesser degree.

NOTP: Aside from the obvious ones, the Radiance. Enemies to lovers shit can work, but it's difficult to pull off even with characters who have a potentially interesting dynamic with each other, these two don't have that going for them. When one of the Radiance's main motivations is her hatred and thirst for revenge focused primarily at PK, I can't see her changing her ways and I especially can't see her falling for him. The closest I can see these two is very begrudging allies and even that might be a stretch.

Random Headcanon: He can play the Piano really fucking well, or at least he used to be able to, he slowly lost his skill as the void ate away at his hands.

General Opinion: Every insult I could possibly throw at him, but with "(affectionate)" right after it. He is a dumbass, he did a lot of horrible shit, but I can appreciate his sorry ass more than I like to admit.

Song: I physically cannot pick just one song for him, because my taste in music is just his whole aesthetic. I'll get the main ones out of the way first, "Touch Tone Telephone" by Lemon Demon, "Little Dark Age" by MGMT are both songs that I feel are generally associated with him anyway(I know TTT is, not as sure about LDA). And for a couple others I have "Choice" by Jack Stauber and "Toes" by Glass Animals.

The White Lady:

Sexuality Headcanon: She's a Bisexual that leans towards Lesbian, and like her husband, she is also polyamorous.

Gender Headcanon: I want to say Demigirl, but I feel like that's mostly my own confusion regarding gender projecting itself(agender here), so instead I'm going to say Androgynous(aka the midpoint between male and female). Pronouns and presentation do not equal gender, she comes across as very feminine but I feel like nature gods should be representitive of all nature has to offer, including through their gender.

OTP: Wyrmroot is canon and absolutely adorable. I love that the two of them are so devoted to each other yet that doesn't bind them to monogamy, they allow and even encourage each other to find potential partners outside of their marriage. WL/Dryya is also kinda cute but I don't feel super passionately anout it as some others do. I also kinda want to mention WL/Unn as a potential pair, I haven't seen much if any content for them and I feel like it coukd make sense.

BroTP: Grimm as I've said before, and oddly enough I imagine she'd be good friends with Herrah. I have read fanfic interactions between the two and that's probably where that's coming from, I don't really know how to explain why I think they'd get along, they just would.

NOTP: Barring the obvious once again, I'm going to have to say Grimm. I don't know, the two would be good friends, but it wouldn't go any further than that I feel, not just because I headcanon Grimm to be gay. Both of them pair extremely well with PK, just not with each other in my opinion.

Random Headcanon: This only applies to my Gijinka AU because hair obviously isn't a factor in canon, but she loves to braid PKs hair(which he keeps long to accommodate, and because he thinks long hair makes him look more regal), delicately weaving flowers into it and everything. It doubles as a sneaky way to get him to take care of himself better because he'd make a genuine effort to keep his hair as healthy as he can so she can easily work with it.

General Opinion: Big wife, plant mom, very pretty woman, I love her.

Song: Almost everything by Amarante gives me the whimsical nature-loving vibes that I associate with her, but "Mountains" and "The Other Side" if I had to limit myself.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[poguesgold]

how did you feel about season? i know most people liked it better than season 1 but i’m not sure how i feel yet🤔 might need to rewatch it

okay this ended up soooo long so i'm giving a tl;dr review here and if anyone cares to read my insanely long thought dump you can feel free. this part is spoiler free also!!

cons: i think they should have further developed the s1 storyline rather than conjuring up an entirely new treasure and conflict; i don't think they did the characters justice a lot of the time, particularly kie and jj; too much yelling and running not enough hanging out; the finale cliff hanger was a stupid writing choice

pros: cleo!!; pope-centric plotline!!!; amazing jjpope moments in the improv sequences; never a boring moment; rafebarry oh my god????; neck kiss shirtless wrestling holding hands standing unnecessarily close jjpope rot; just a straight up nine hour long adrenaline rush and i love that shit.

overall: i definitely did not like it more than s1, but i still REALLY loved it. i think it's worth the watch, just don't go into it expecting good writing or realistic injuries or a comprehensive plot LMFAO. what saves the season is the pogues' chemistry and their improv sequences, for real. and cleo. you WILL get angry about the shitty script and characterization if you’re really invested in that part of things, but as far as vibes and dopamine high it was awesome. it was a fun watch and i'll definitely rewatch at least once to soak it in properly

please this is going to be soooo long i apologize in advance. but i have a lot of thoughts. also ⚠️⚠️spoilers ahead!!⚠️⚠️

most of this review is going to be criticisms tbh so sorry for that but this show kinda sucks (affectionately<3)

i thought season 2 was an absolute TRAINWRECK as far as writing goes. jonas pate was basically like. this season we're going to have an even BIGGER and BETTER treasure!!! but the exact same thing is going to happen. like. we already had gold. and that's what they were going to the bahamas for at the end of season 1 for anyway????? it would have been so easy to just develop the original storyline further, i just cannot figure out why they would completely abandon it for another mediocre storyline. (i LOVED that this other mediocre storyline was pope-centric and the main character energy he was given this season. but. they. could have done that?? with the first storyline?????)

i hate that they brought big john back so so much. SO much. literally it was the stupidest most idiotic lazy cheesy plot choice in the world. it doesn't make sense, we like saw his literal bones at one point like his lifeless corpse, and WHY would they bring back a key character from the PREVIOUS ARC when they created an ENTIRELY NEW CONFLICT AND PLOTLINE FOR THIS SEASON???? jonas pate stuck it in for shock value and cliff hanger in hopes of securing a season 3, and i hate him for it. he's such a terrible writer white men have it so easy

someone in the neck kiss truthers discord earlier pointed out that jb's dead father returning after like a year and a half of thinking he was dead would probably be more traumatic that healing at this point, and i agree so much. also, you know that they're not going to use it for good either way. they're going to use his dad coming back as a way to further traumatize him somehow because obx writers are jombeephobic. and i wouldn't put it past them to bring him back just to kill him off again. jonas pate wants to write john b torture porn and i am TIRED of it

my least favorite thing about season 2 was the characterization. they really did just disregard the characters they created in season 1. kie was completely ooc for like three episodes, and it wasn't because she was mourning. it was just shitty writing. she had no character outside of her relationships this season, which has been my fear from the very beginning and why i have never wanted kie with any of the pogues. season 2 diminished her character to the female love interest, and that just sucked so bad for her.

whether you're a jjpope or not, season 2 completely changed their friendship dynamic. the only time we got glimpses of the season 1 jjpope dynamic was in the improv sequences when rudy and jd took it upon themselves. also during their hugs LMFAO. which is also an acting choice. the writing completely disregarded their friendship and dynamic. it was weird as fuck it was all weird. i also hated that kie and sarah's scripted interactions were just them talking about boys. another case of friendships again being completely disregarded for the cishet relationships. 

i just really feel like all of the characters were handled poorly this season, which is crazy because literally ALL we asked for was backstory and character development and pogue screentime. but jonas pate instead decided to write ten episodes of nonstop running and yelling and fuckinf adrenaline, with an ooc script. for funsies

i feel like the magic of season 1 was lost. the vibe of season 1 that makes it so comforting and rewatchable and lovely is sort of just lost in all the silly plot. we see snatches of it here and there, but they feel crammed between unnecessary action scenes and stunts and shouting when we would have been happy with ten episodes of the pogues hanging out in each other's bedrooms.

NOW IM GOING TO TALK THINGS I LIKED OKAY OKAY

i seriously DID love watching it. we pulled an all nighter in the neck truthers discord and binged the entire season and the adrenaline of that kept me going for the rest of the week. it was literally fucking insane absolutely batshit and i LOVED it. the writing was horrible but like. it's obx we know it isn't good LMFAOO. it's part of the charm

i definitely don't like it more than s1, but i did still like it a lot. i LOVED how pope centric it was, like he fr had such main character energy this season and it was wonderful. even though the storyline was weird and didn't make sense jd did so well lolol he did so wonderfully. i loved seeing pope get the attention he deserves this season.

JJPOPE MOMENTS. i was definitely sad they didn't have an arc to themselves like they did season 1, but oh my god jd and rudy FED US with jjpope improv moments this season. the NECK KISS? the WRESTLING? every single one of their hugs?????? they're insane. it sucked that they really didn't have any scenes alone but we take what we can get.

SPEAKING OF GAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT RAFEBARRY. because?? oh my god??? first season it was like a crack ship and then season 2 came out and... what are we supposed to do ignore it? they are literally??? gay????? it's jarring they're insane. i am so so invested in them it's kind of unreal how deep i got into this ship in such a short amount of time (follow @rafebarry babies <33)

cleo. i love cleo. the best new thing to come out of this season for sure. clarah is coming strong i can feel it and i am SO ready. i know that they're most likely going to move toward a cleopope romance next season, which i don't hate? i'm bothered only because a) it's obvious it's mostly being done to get pope out of the way for jiara, and b) i think people often push two dark-skinned characters into a ship just because they're both dark-skinned, and that yucks me out. but i will say i really liked their moments together in s2 and i think they could be really good together if they're canon s3 (which they probably will be.)

overall like. it was a fun watch. i retained like 2% of the plot i was just there for the vibes and dopamine high and that was totally fine. i want to take the pogues out of jonas pate’s greedy little white man fingers and give them the character and relationship development they deserve, but we can’t have it all i guess. the cinematography this season i think i liked better than season 1, wasn’t a huge fan of that weird yellow filter tho. also the lighting. obx lighting guys get demoted challenge. umm yeah season 1 supremacy but season 2 had amazing vibes

[mst3kproject]

Planet of Dinosaurs

This movie is blessed with some pretty cool stop-motion dinosaurs and absolutely nothing else, and it’s got a Rifftrack.  That’s… that’s it, really.  Press play.

The spaceship Odyssey suffers a reactor meltdown and blows up with only just enough warning for the crew to launch a single lifeboat shuttle.  Luckily, there’s a life-bearing planet nearby where the spandex-suited survivors can land, but unluckily, it turns out to be inhabited by giant reptiles, not unlike the prehistoric fauna of Earth!  There’s also a spider the size of a Yorkshire terrier, for no particular reason.

There’s not really any plot from there, it’s just bad actors shooting toy laser guns at plastic dinosaurs, interspersed with Rock Climbing. At last the characters manage to kill the inevitable T-rex that’s been threatening them, whereupon they declare themselves to have conquered this planet.

There are a few attempts at human conflict but they’re pretty watery.  The first possible b-plot has to do with the vice president of the space-shipping company, Mr. Baylor, who was along on this trip for some reason and is among the survivors. So they’re not just stranded on Dinosaur Planet, they’re stranded on Dinosaur Planet with their boss.  He’s a jackass and his secretary quickly gets fed up with him and quits, which doesn’t do her a whole lot of good since they are, as I mentioned, stranded on Dinosaur Planet.  The writers run out of things to do with Baylor about halfway through the movie and kill him off, to everybody’s relief.

The second involves the bearded guy, Jim, who’s starting to take issue with Captain Lee’s command style.  Lee is trying to keep them all alive and uninjured until help can arrive.  Jim doesn’t think help is coming and wants to go full caveman and start slaughtering things. It starts to look like he’s gonna foment a mutiny, but eventually he and Lee overcome their differences and come up with a plan to kill the T-rex.

Finally, of course, the survivors inevitably pair off in heterosexual couples.  Sure is lucky there weren’t more men than women or vice-versa.  Very fortunate nobody’s left with no-one to bone but someone they’ve never gotten along with.  Quite improbable that nobody on the entire command crew was gay.  When one member of one of these couples becomes a dinosaur victim, the other thoughtfully dies a few scenes later, not because he commits suicide out of guilt or something, but just by coincidence.

One thing the movie actually does pretty well is day-for-night.  It’s not great, in that you can still tell it was shot in the daytime through a filter, but they chose the right filter to cool down the warm tones of the sunlight, and had the sense to keep the sky out of shot.  It never looks like somebody just turned the brightness on your screen way down and called it ‘night’, and I’ve seen so much worse that I want to at least acknowledge their competence.

The other thing Planet of Dinosaurs does well is the actual dinosaurs, which are a lot of fun. They’re lumpy and out of date, but some real care seems to have gone into building the detailed puppets and their movements are fluid and sometimes very lifelike.  There’s a nice variety of them, too.  As well as the T-rex there’s a smaller therapod that might be intended to be an Allosaurus, a couple of little Ornithomimus­-like animals, a Brontosaurus complete with the wrong head, a Stegosaurus, a Centrosaurus, and some kind of ankylosaur.  In real life these are a jumble of Hell Creek and Morrison dinosaurs who never met each other, but eh, it’s supposed to be another planet, it’s cool.

Unfortunately, there are several points where the effects people try to show us something they probably should have implied instead.  I commend their ambition, but knowing your limits is a big part of making special effects work.  In the first episode of Walking with Dinosaurs, the Postosuchus attacks a Placerias… but we don’t see as much of this as we think we do because our view is blocked by the body of the prey animal.  They knew their CGI wasn’t up to making the attack look good, so they tricked us into thinking we saw more than we did.  In Planet of Dinosaurs, a character stabs an injured Ornithomimus with a spear, and it’s painfully obvious that the stop-motion creature was just superimposed on top.  They could easily have set up the shot so we didn’t have to actually see it go in, but they didn’t.

The dinosaurs are clearly what they spent their budget on, which was wise – as I said in my review of Twelve to the Moon, if you can only afford to show us one cool thing, best make it the one in the title. Sadly, when I say spent the budget I mean the entire budget.  The rest of Planet of Dinosaurs looks like it was made in somebody’s backyard using stuff from the garden shed.  The spaceship that briefly appears in the opening had a previous career as a vacuum cleaner.  When it ‘explodes’ it just flickers red and vanishes with no further attempt at an effect.

The costumes look kind of like if they made the original Star Trek series ten years later but on the same budget, with producers who didn’t think they wanted this to be a porno but preferred to keep the option open.  The designated Himbo, Chuck, doffs his shirt within the first few minutes of the film and never gets it back.  The blonde who goes for a swim and is eaten by some water monster was wearing a bikini under her uniform for some reason.  By the end, they’re all dressed in cartoon caveman garb and Chuck is still shirtless.

Besides the dinosaurs, the main effect we see is the laser guns, which are among the most ineffective sci-fi weapons ever committed to screen.  They fire a beam of very slow red light which does absolutely nothing to any of the dinosaurs, even when the characters observe that one has been injured.  I think this is supposed to show us that the animals are tougher than the technology, but for that to work we would have needed to see a laser used effectively, perhaps to destroy something blocking the path. Without that, we have no basis for comparison.

If this were all Planet of Dinosaurs did wrong, it would be a bad movie classic.  Even the abysmally bad acting has its funny moments. What ruins the enjoyment is the movie’s lack of a proper story.

Planet of Dinosaurs is supposed to be a Cast Away or Robinson Crusoe sort of a film, about unprepared people thrust into the wilderness and forced to survive as best they can.  Such a narrative doesn’t need an overarching conflict per se.  It can be a series of smaller survival stories strung together, but Planet of Dinosaurs doesn’t manage to do that.  The ‘plot’ with Baylor depends on him being a petulant fool, and the characters are not sufficiently well-developed for us to have any interest in the ‘love stories’ that don’t affect the overall course of events.

The rivalry between Captain Lee and Bearded Guy Jim turns on how to keep the rest of the survivors safe from the large predators in the area, particularly the T-rex.  Lee wants everybody to hole up on a rocky plateau behind a ridiculously flimsy stockade to keep the animals out, while Jim wants to hunt down and kill the dinosaurs, to teach them to fear humans as wolves do on Earth.  The main problem with this is that we just don’t see enough of the predatory dinosaurs to justify this treatment of them.

We see the T-rex fairly early in the film, and it fuels the humans’ decision to see high ground where they hope such a large animal will not go. The much smaller Allosaurus shows up at one point to make a woman scream, is ‘injured’ with a laser, and the T-rex then eats it.  And just before the climax, the T-rex breaks through the stockade to chow down on Baylor’s secretary.  In between these incidents, we do not see and rarely even hear about these animals.  If we’re supposed to imagine them constantly lurking around outside, the movie makes no effort to reinforce that impression.  The T-rex is treated as the Final Boss, but the movie just hasn’t earned that.

At the end we see the survivors a few years later.  They’re building a farm, making their own clothes, living off the land, and raising their children.  One of the women asks the other if she thinks they’re ever going to be rescued, and the other replies that she doesn’t think it matters anymore. The implication is that they’re now happy here.  This is really not a bad little denouement, and ends the movie on a warm, optimistic note.

If you want to see some ridiculous 70s mustaches and ugly 70s dinosaurs, you’ll probably have fun with Planet of Dinosaurs.  Unfortunately, the movie was a little too ambitious in some places and not ambitious enough in others.  If I’d seen it at the age of six I probably would have become immediately obsessed with it for the dinosaurs alone, but as an adult I’m afraid my standards are just a little too high.  Unable to afford to be good, and unable to commit to being bad, it’s just another meh.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Do you maybe have some headcanons or Au or something for Moana x Merida? I really like that ship! 🤗and I like your moodboards with moanida! ^^

Anon I need you to know I am literally crying TEARS OF JOY because I have FINALLY received an Ask on this humble little blog and I am OVERJOYED

Yes, I would love to talk about Moanida!!!

I’ve got a few AUs I kinda play around with for them--might make moodboards of them one of these days! A couple I really like are a Mermaid AU and a Selkie AU, probably with Moana as the mermaid/selkie because of her ocean connection??? But I really like the idea of Selkie!Merida too, since it would go so nicely with selkies in Scottish folklore and all that. Either way it solves the geographical issue because they can just swim to each other!!! Also yes, these gay girls crossing literal oceans for each other is absolutely the hill I’m going to die on. I’m also a fan of a sort of Mythology/Goddess AU where like Moana is an ocean goddess and Merida is a volcano goddess of sorts akin to Te Ka with cool lava hair and scary volcanic rock skin and only Moana’s soothing ocean waters can calm her eruptive (heh, get it?) rage. And this also means FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE

Also MOANIDA HEADCANONS YESSSS

I thought up some just for you <3 Some are more general and some are more specific AU-focused so I tried to sort them by AU but there’s probably gonna be some overlap.

General ~Merida is THE most overprotective girlfriend. Like she knows Moana’s independent and can take care of herself, but she absolutely will not tolerate slander of or threats to her girlfriend of any kind. If Merida were to meet Maui at any period in the timeline where he and Moana weren’t really cool yet and he was still being kind of a dick to Moana, Merida would try to fight a literal demigod. She doesn’t give a single fuck. ~Once Merida hears about the Tamatoa Incident, she wants to fight every crab she sees. She also develops a taste for crabcakes and crab rangoons because she starts eating lots of crabmeat solely out of spite. Moana finds this endlessly amusing. ~Moana definitely has the braincell between them. She’s constantly having to hold Mer back and talk her down from starting shit. Merida would unleash the Rage of a Thousand Suns upon her enemies if given half the chance. ~Merida is very physically active and loves working out--she would work out twice a day if given the chance. She’s just really about those exercise endorphins. Moana makes her fresh tropical fruit bowls and tropical fruit smoothies for after her workouts. Merida adores these and eventually she absolutely refuses to drink any smoothies not made by her girlfriend. ~They’re both lowkey caffeine addicts. Merida usually loathes getting up early (unless it’s to work out or go riding with Angus) and will snap at anyone and everyone until she’s had coffee. Moana knows how to get her hands on these really amazing-tasting, obscure types of Polynesian coffee, so she hooks them up with The Good Stuff. After tasting the coffee Moana gets, Merida honestly never wants any other B-tier type of coffee again. ~They love to go sailing in Moana’s boat. In a modern AU where the boat has a motor, Merida likes to make them go really fast for the adrenaline rush and the feeling of wind in her hair. It kinda freaks Moana out to go that fast, but it’s honestly worth it for the look of absolute elation on Merida’s face, and the way she laughs and cheers the whole time. ~Sometimes they like to go out on more calm, tranquil night sails. Once they’re a ways out, they just lie on the deck and stargaze. Moana points out all the constellations to Merida and rambles about how to navigate with them. Merida just turns and watches her with this super-smitten look the entire time. ~Moana teaches Merida some Maori. She teachers her how to say “I love you,” and, at Merida’s request, how to swear. ~Sometimes Moana calls Merida Maori words Mer doesn’t understand. Merida gets mad because she thinks Moana’s insulting her. It turns out she’s just calling Merida a bunch of super sappy Maori pet names. ~Sometimes Merida and Moana just like to talk shit about people who are pissing them off IN Maori, so they don’t understand. ~Whenever Merida absolutely goes OFF on someone for saying something homophobic or sexist or whatever, Moana just stands back and crosses her arms and smirks, and says “Thaaaat’s my girl!” It absolutely never fails to make Merida blush like a madwoman and start blubbering like an idiot and lose her original point completely. ~When they fight, they are SO stubborn, petty, and dramatic about it that they can stay mad at each other for DAYS. For really bad fights, they usually end up needing a mediator (in a RotBTD+ AU, I imagine this would be Rapunzel, Anna, or Hiccup). ~Angus and Pua are best friends. No, I will not be accepting criticism at this time. They get into lots of hijinks and shenanigans, and sometimes they sneak out together and Pua likes to ride around on Angus’s back. When Pua and Angus go missing, Mer and Mo just kind of sigh like “Oh, they’re out adventuring again, aren’t they?” ~Angus also always protects Pua so he never has to be scared of adventuring again!!! Pua still remembers his and Moana’s disastrous first sailing attempt, and Angus makes sure little Pua never gets into danger like that again. ~Hamish, Harris, and Hubert ship it SO hard! Moana turns out to be really good with kids, and has even been known to assist with the boys’ mischief from time to time. They definitely think Moana’s a good person to keep their sister’s chaos in check while not being TOO much of a boring wet blanket stifling her fun. ~Sina absolutely ADORES Merida and basically adopts her and treats her like a second daughter. After hearing Merida doesn’t have the best relationship with her own mom and feels like her mom doesn’t try to understand her or respect that she’s different from her, Sina gets like...SUPER angry and and starts doting on Merida to an almost annoying extent. She never wants Merida to have to feel forced into being someone she’s not, since she saw that with Moana and how much it absolutely KILLED her to be kept away from the ocean. ~Tui is leery of Merida at first, mainly because she seems like she’s going to be a bad influence on his daughter. However, he eventually comes around to her once he sees how much she loves his daughter, and they bond over both being ridiculously overprotective of Moana. ~Fergus also adores Moana, and basically knew Merida was gay from the jump--them dating is 0% a surprise to him. He’s honestly just glad that his daughter has someone more rational and down-to-earth to prevent her from doing anything TOO stupid. ~Elinor meanwhile, traditionalist that she is, is NOT about this whole lesbian thing and would probably be pretty homophobic...at least at first (steaming hot take, I know, she’s just got tradition so far up her ass I don’t know if she’d EVER be okay with her daughter choosing not only to forego marriage to man COMPLETELY--not just delay it--but marry a woman instead, who she couldn’t produce an heir with. Also sorry but I do not like her and probably will not portray her particularly favorably in my HCs sorry not sorry lmao) Maybe she comes around, maybe she doesn’t. I’ll leave that up to your imagination. Although I am not an Elinor fan so I think you already know my take XD ~Moana is grey-asexual grey-aromantic, so she CAN be sexually and romantically interested in people, it’s just...very rare. Merida is basically the only person she’s ever wanted to legit date. Maybe she likes boys too, but she wouldn’t know--she hasn’t found any she’s into thus far. Merida, meanwhile, has always been a raging lesbian, and has had lots of crushes on girls over the years (in an AU where she has the opportunity to, anyhow--ARE there even any girls her age in Dunbroch??? XD). When her parents would read storybooks to her as a kid, she’d always finding herself getting doe-eyed over the “fair maidens” rather than the fearless, ripped warriors who saved them from danger.  No crush ever hit her quite as hard as Moana did, though. But Merida knows for a damn fact she isn’t into men--90% of the time she can’t stand them and their antics, and the only men she’s ever really felt any kind of affection for are ones in her family or ones who remind her of one or more of her family members. ~Moana makes Merida flower crowns. Merida grumbles endlessly about how “girly” they are, so Moana hunts down some black flowers to make one with so it’ll look a bit more badass and intimidating. Merida absolutely LOVES it and wears it everywhere. ~Merida teaches Moana how to horseback ride and how to shoot a bow and arrow. She’s pretty not great at either at first, but Merida is incredibly patient with her. This shocks everyone around them, because since when is Merida patient with anyone? ~Merida also teaches Moana swordplay, and they LOVE to spar with each other. Agressive flirting during sparring sessions is very commonplace. If anyone attacks either Dunbroch or Motunui, Merida and Moana are a force to be reckoned with. ~Likewise, Moana teaches Merida how to sail and some kinda basic naval combat skills (i.e. how to shoot that harpoon gun or whatever it was she used to fight the kikimora off). ~They don’t have sex that often because neither of them has that high of a sex drive, but when they do, Merida tops if a strap-on is used. ~Moana is the kind of person who just kinda sings songs to herself as she goes about her daily routine and her chores. Merida loves to listen in because she thinks Moana has the prettiest singing voice on earth. That doesn’t stop her from teasing Moana about “singing all the got dam time,” though. ~Literally ALWAYS cuddling and kissing when they’re watching something together or just doing any kinda idle activity at home together. These girls cannot keep their hands off of each other. They hold hands in public pretty much everywhere they go, and Merida yells at anyone who makes a fuss about it.

Modern AU ~They meet while Merida is studying abroad in Tahiti. Maybe because Maui (who’s Moana’s cousin or older brother or something) has a tattoo parlor, and of COURSE Merida goes in to get some edgy bow and arrow tattoo to piss her mom off. Or maybe Merida is just snorkeling in one of the coves on one of her days off, and she runs into Moana and they just Vibe. ~I also like the idea of them meeting at a bar/nightclub type place in Papeete--like maybe Maui owns the nightclub because he just likes to party like that, and he lets his little sis Moana poke around in there because he’s lowkey a terrible influence XD And maybe one night Moana’s bartending to make a little extra cash and Merida comes in and gets really drunk on like a huge Sex on the Beach or something and starts really clumsily hitting on Moana and Moana gets SUCH a kick out of it. Merida can’t remember much of the flirting the next day, but she and Moana still become fast friends. ~Merida is constantly ditching class to sneak off and go see Moana. Her grades are plummeting. ~When the semester abroad is over, they promise to keep in touch over the internet--although Moana also wants to write letters because she loves the idea of having a pen pal. Merida teases her mercilessly for being so “old-fashioned” but also doesn’t have the heart to say no. ~They end up confessing they like each other over internet chat. Merida damn well knows she’s gay and has for a while now, but she’s terrified of telling Moana she’s into her because she’s really scared Moana’s straight. So when Moana is the one who ends up confessing to Merida, Merida has literally never been happier in her entire life. ~Once Merida graduates, they decide to just say “fuck it” and move to some big seaside city together (for some reason I really like the idea of them living in Los Angeles???). Merida needs to get away from her overbearing mom and Moana just really wants to see more of the world besides the South Pacific, so away they go! ~BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS! They both fucking LOVE musicals, especially those with sapphic undertones (Wicked, anyone?), and will loudly and obnoxiously sing along to the soundtracks, much to the chagrin of all their neighbors. They’re also pretty big theater fans in general--especially Merida, always rather the dramatic type. ~At some point they save up and go to see Wicked on Broadway together. The trip ends up being one of their all-time favorites, and their fridge is covered in goofy, dumb selfies of them in New York. ~Moana goes to every SINGLE one of Merida’s archery tournaments, and every single game of any other sport she plays. Literally no one cheers more boisterously or enthusiastically than Moana does. Whenever Merida hits a bullseye or scores a goal, Moana grins and nudges the people next to her (even if they’re complete fucking strangers) and goes “That’s my girlfriend!!!” ~Merida is a goddamn punk, and is always walking around in spiked jackets, combat boots, and basically any other clothing that says “don’t fuck with me.” She tried to start a punk rock band once, but it ended up falling through because no one would sponsor Merida’s angry screamo songs about smashing the patriarchy. Moana still went to all of their tiny-ass, tacky concerts though, for the few months they were “touring” the city. ~Merida taught herself how to play electric guitar because she thinks it’s Edgy and Cool. Moana really likes to dance, and knows a fair number of traditional Polynesian dances and has even taught a class or two. Merida learns how to play some traditional Polynesian music on the electric guitar so she can play while Moana dances. The combination of hard rock-esque shredding and a very mellow island dance looks extremely bizarre to anyone watching, but the girls absolutely do not care.

@takaraphoenix I said I’d tag you in Moanida content I made and I am a woman of my word!!! Enjoy!!!

Please y’all, send me more asks about my ships!!! I love to talk about them!!!

[scoobydoodean]

Comments from the poll:

Can see the chemistry for Destiel, have never really shipped it :/

Okay okay so my thoughts on Destiel as a self-described non-shipper/”It’s complicated”: 

I can see the chemistry. I totally get why people ship it. I flirt with it sometimes.

I have no problem with people interpreting Dean as bi. I think there are valid reasons to interpret him that way. I also think it’s possible not to interpret him that way and I have no problem with that either. 

I find blanket hostility toward all shippers or shipping or people who ship particular things to be very unfair and misplaced. I think there’s valid criticism of behaviors among some shippers, but many shippers are literally doing nothing more than enjoying something they love and care about and having fun, and harassing or judging them for that is stupid. 

I kinda swooned over 15.18 love confession despite not being a shipper

I don’t personally see a way to interpret Castiel’s confession in 15.18 as platonic, though I know some do. I can’t agree with that. I think this was very clearly a romantic confession and I don’t think it came out of left field at all. I think it’s incredibly easy to read Cas as having been in love with Dean for many years, and it makes sense. 

I think at the point that Castiel’s romantic confession was written into text, it became a coward’s move (not to mention narratively unsatisfying) to leave it completely unaddressed. 

Dean and Castiel’s friendship is already strained. A lot of things between them would have to be addressed for me to be comfortable seeing them in a canon romantic relationship. I got a couple of opinions about how Dean isn’t good for Cas in the poll. Sure. But also counterpoint: Cas is not good for Dean either. Cas has also damaged their relationship in significant ways which he as been allowed to perpetuate through most of his tenure on the series (See the reply here)

I have read a lot of destiel fanfic and enjoyed many of them (did not enjoy some others due to characterizations I couldn’t get behind)

There are some very funny destiel memes and jokes out there that I have enjoyed

There are lots of very cute fan art things for destiel and little head canon scenes 

I enjoy some of the shipping culture (see above). 

I really do NOT enjoy other parts of the shipping culture, and it ruined the whole concept of shipping for me to some extent, which is why I’ve always said “I have no problem with shipping, but I don’t get much enjoyment out of shipping culture.”

Things in shipping culture that bother me include but are not limited to: A) people who ship different ships having constant pissing contests B) treatment of cast over shipping—harassment, rumor spreading, tinhatting, using them as footballs, etc. C) overt toxic masculinity from fans when building interpretations of men as gay or bisexual (From the way some fans loosely use phrases like, “there is no heterosexual explanation for this”, you would think men cannot touch each other, look at each other, talk to each other, or care about each other or they absolutely 100% must be in love. I think there are some things that are suggestive of a bisexual Dean interpretation, but there are other things in “Proof Dean is bi” type videos or lists that mean absolutely nothing but are presented as proof. ) D) reducing complex emotions and situations with moral/ethical differences rooted in trauma down to being about unresolved sexual/romantic tension only E) The Walker conspiracy is entertaining, but framing it as some unavoidable truth and not a conspiracy is deeply misguided and has lead to further blanket machine gun fire at people fans have no idea did anything wrong at all. Judging people based on belief in conspiracies is simply dumb.

I cannot handle the movement from “Jensen Ackles is homophobic and is singlehandedly preventing the writing team from giving us canon destiel” to “Jensen Ackles #1 destiel shipper silent king Ackles longcon”. I think that sharp 180 reflects very badly on a lot of folks that perpetuated it. More charitable interpretations of his actions were tossed aside to paint him in the worst light possible for years. There were multiple multiple explanations for Ackles’ sandoffishness regarding destiel at cons, including not wanting to queer-bait anyone, not wanting to be used as some kind of football tossed back and forth in shipping wars over his character, not appreciating being harassed over the ship (especially when he said he didn’t ship it personally), not appreciating people who asked questions in an entitled or condescending way, and the fact that no matter if he answered positively, negatively, or not at all when asked about the ship, some group of fans would be upset, and he would then have to deal with them in autograph and photo lines. When he knew Destiel was actually written into the text, he made this joke.  I don’t get why people would think they need his approval or disapproval. Ship what you want. He didn’t write the show, and didn’t get to decide what happened with Dean’s story. You don’t and shouldn’t need his blessing or his condemnation of anything.

[mystech-master]

F/GO High School/Modern AU BS

Me and @rex101111 have been talking about a modern/HS AU ft. as many Chaldean servants as possible. Here are the ideas we came up with (I am pretty much cut and pasting our message convo, so this is a mixture of both me and Rex's ideas):

Gil is the douchbag Senior everyone hates but his dad owns the school or whatever so he can do whatever he wants. The only decent person who willingly hangs out with him is his childhood friend Enkidu who's hoping he can un-douch his bro. He has kid Gil as his little brother and Caster Gil as his older bro who both agree that he sucks (Gil is the loser middle child of the family), Caster Gil wonders what Enkidu sees in his shit head brother. "He's too good for you." "Blow it out your ass." "One day he's going to wise up, see how much of a shit you are, and when you're all alone don't come crying to me." Caster Gil is in college studying political science, Kid Gil goes to a fancy boarding school. Archer Gil goofs off and throws parties

Scathach is a swimming class teacher, mainly b/c I recall underwater training being a part of Cu's regiment under her tutelage. People were jealous of the Cus for like two seconds when they find out the swim teacher is their mom, then they see her having them do an extra twenty laps and ignoring when OG Cu starts floating in the water. "CU DIED!" "YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!" while Scathach is like "you have two seconds to stop playing around before I ACTUALLY drown you" and he's back to doing laps.

Yeah with 4-5 Cus (if you count Setanta from Arcade) that is like 5 brothers.

Nightingale as school nurse, she is friends with Asclepius who works at a hospital associated with the school (strictly professional, but the students think otherwise).

Side note, keep in mind you can have multiple servants be the same type of teacher, just for different classes/grades.

King Hassan is the old Religious History teacher. Every one thinks he's older then the rock is the school is made out of. He has a scary face and a scarier voice but most students consider him the most fair and patient teacher in the whole school. He always gets a lot of food gifts before Ramadan form the students. (A few students, such as the Guda twins and Mash, call him gramps.) The other Hassans are his grandkids, like actual grandkids. He's super strict with them because he expects a lot from them. He always praises them when they do well though. He made sure they ALL got into his class and they've been living in fear ever since. They love their grandpa but by Allah they know not to disappoint him. The only one to ever get out of anything is kid Hassan (one of the hundred face). Cursed Arm is oldest, then Asako (the main hundred face), then Serenity.

"I am very disappointed in ALL of you, have you all lost your heads? I swear I-*to kid Hassan*-ah no Habibi not you you're fine here have a candy-*back to the rest*-I KNOW you're better than this!"

VERY traditional guy, Cursed Arm mutters "Oh for God's sake" while doing a pop quiz and King Hassan looms over him and growls, "No Blaspheming In This Class Room"

For the various Artoria/Arturias, I imagined Lancer and Lancer Alter being sisters, so Saber Alter is a cousin. That leaves everyone else to just be sisters with one brother. Mother Lartoria owns a casino and gas her own yacht in reference to the summer event where she became a Ruler. If you want MHX could be a part of the family as a massive fucking Star Wars nerd. MHXX and MHX Alter are her mom and sister (so MHXX is a third sister for the two Lancer Artorias)

For Irisviel, I remember in one of the Nero Fest things that she was called Therapist Iri. Maybe she starts to get into that b/c she wants to help her adoptive son Shirou (instead of a big fire like in Zero it can be an orphanage fire thing, similar situation but a much smaller scale) , so she is the school therapist/psychiatrist. Like Maruki in P5 Royal.

Iskandar died in his 30s, Waver is around his 30s as Lord El Melloi II. The two are old college friends who still hang out and Alexander is Iskandar’s kid.

If you guys want you can see this as the two being gay dads since I know that ship is popular.

Fran had an abusive father before Babbage and Moriarty got involved. In the og story, Frankenstien has a scientific mindset like his creator, here Fran has a talent in the field, but she also hates it b/c it reminds her of him. Like imagine being talented at the thing your abusive parent was good at/known for. Moriarty tried to get it into her that SHE'S the one with the talent, not her college dropout bum of a father, "From you tell me of him Victor couldn't engineer his way out of an argument with a cat, you have a magnificent mind my dear, not letting it flourish to spite him would be a horrible waste...it's your talent, your skill. Not his." He smiles that smile she loves that scares every one but she knows he only smiles like that when he is absolutely convinced of something, "and you can out perform him without breaking a sweat."

Moriarty teaches Fran sign language while Babbage teaches her some engineering.

Jekyll is going for a major in medicine with a minor in law (in the actual irl story Dr. Jekyll was a doctor in medicine and law).

For science associated servants, you got da Vinci, Babbage, Edison, and Tesla as possible science teachers.

The Jeanne sisters. Without the Avenger BS, the reason Jalter (or Joan as one series of fics calls her) could hate her here is just inferiority complex and being compared to her perfect saint big sister all her life. Joan does have her talents, based on the summer event an, but again she doesn't acknowledge her own talent b/c of her always being compared to her older sister., in the 7 counterfeit events she is a really good artist. And it is the typical thing of Jeanne actually being scared out of her wits of being less than perfect because of all the expectations thrust on her. She gets one A- and runs to the bathroom crying and Joan has to swallow her pride and actually have a conversation with her sister for the first time in years. Jeanne Alter lily puts up Christmas decorations super early, much to Jeanne Alter/Joan's displeasure.

"IT JUST TURNED NOVEMBER CHILL TF OUT!"

"CHRISTMAS!"

Martha is Jeanne's BF since middle school and has this HUGE dog that scares everyone and growls at anyone expect Martha and Jeanne. She calls him Terry.

Rex loves Penthesilea. and we talked at length about the situation between her and Achilles. Can you not tell that he likes a woman who can kick his ass *gestures to all of his Baiken posts*

Rex's idea: I think they had a fight when they were little and Achilles, being a little shit back then, made fun of her for being a girl, and Penth has been sore about it ever since. She keeps running into big misogynistic meatheads that reminded her of that and she just got angrier over the years. She's a wrestler and can knock out just about every dude in school by herself. Achilles is very regretful about back then and wants to apologize but Penth ain't having any of it.

My idea: I thought they were on opposing HS sports teams and when Achilles handed her ass to her he forgot to drink his respect women juice and then Penth got all pissed.

In this AU, Penth and Hippolyta's dad was a general who taught them how to kick the ass of men twice their size since they were seven or something.

Penth surprises everyone when a festival comes up and she gets picked to be the one to organize everything...and does a spectacular job. Another surprise is that she plans on being a business major when she goes to college (Obligatory Amazoness CEO jokes)

Bedivere is the Arturia Pendragon family butler with a prosthetic arm. He's also the security guard, last guy that tried to steal something or cause trouble got slapped right out of the window he sneaked in from.

Francis Drake and Artoria Alter Lancer are work friends (referencing them both being associated with the Wild Hunt in F/GO's lore).

Beni-Enma is the short and shorter tempered lunch lady, last kid who mouthed off at her during lunch got smacked upside the head with her spoon. She's sweet, but if you're in detention and have to help her in the kitchen she's a mini Gorden Ramsey, "IT'S RAW DECHI!!!" She can also come into the home EC class where Shirou is her best student. Also her roasting of the other girls like in her quest. Getting Fs in Beni's class is the worst, because it isn't just an F, it's a meticulous dressing down of exactly why letting into a kitchen should be considered a war crime, dechi.

The three Avenger Nobus are three different people. 1st Ascension is basically Archer Nobu, then you got Oda Kipposhi, and then the mom is Ascension 3 with Demon King Nobunaga. The youngest Ascension 1 Nobu is a musician. Demon King Nobu is one of those "super scary but also super polite people that only makes them scarier" type, basically a female koei Nobunaga from samurai warriors (check out some cutscenes form the games with him, he's a treat).

Imagine Demon King Nobu mom in a business suit.

Suzuka Gozen and Sei Shonagon are the textaholics who always talk in slang to the point of it sounding like they speak a different language. Murasaki is the librarian but Sei is like that ONE student who just makes her job so much harder.

Every week it's "No phones in the library Miss Shonagon." while Sei rolls her eyes and types out twitter post like "fugly ol librarian at my school needs a life lol"

Oui Katsushika is a gifted art student, and her dad (not a floating little octopus), is just a normal dude with a squid/octopus like beard. She's the teacher's pet in De Vinci's art class.

Eresh and Ishtar come from a rich family, Ereshkigal is the older sister so she had a shit load of responsibility to take over the family business while Ishtar basically gets to party her life away. Rin is the cousin they each try and swing their way. Eresh wants Rin to keep up her studies and get into a good university, Ishtar wants Rin to loosen the fuck up and admit that she likes that scrawny Emiya kid already.

BB is the host of a talk show downtown so she is kind of an absentee mom. Meltryllis has prosthetic legs that she specifically asked to be made into stilts b/c she wanted to be taller, and Passonlip has a massive rack that makes life difficult (either people staring, people assuming she's gonna be a home wrecker b/c said staring must be intentional, etc.), and of course he also has prosthetic arms to match her canon claws, obviously not as massive.

Hijikata is a very serious police officer but his wife Carmilla just uses this to have fun in the bedroom. They have two Dobermans. Hijikata's route has him patrolling near the school so most of the kids know as that scary police dude that has a picture of his wife in his pocket. One day a famous Idol called Eli-chan~ (yes spelled with the ~) is about to perform in the town and the kids can't stop talking about her, so Hijikata overhears. But, being the serious dude he is he shrugs it off until he sees a picture of this "Eli-chan~" and realizes it's his sister-in-law that came to visit and suddenly the influx of parasitic paparazzi near his house start making sense.

Carmilla: "Now you see why I hate them?", Hijikata: "No you cannot send the dogs after them honey."

She almost ran one of them over in her, very expensive, car and when that reporter says she should be locked up Hijikata corrects that would only happen if she had hit him...and she would be fined. For littering.

Okita Alter being Hijikata's partner, while Okita is her younger sister who's looked up to Hijikata since she was a little kid but she has asthma and such so she's afraid she might not get accepted.

Sigurd owns a metalworks shop (referencing his myth where he was raised by the dwarf Reginn), he met his wife Brynhildr when she was disowned by her overly controlling father.

Ozymandias, Nitocris, and Cleopatra are all the high board members of a company. Nitocris specifically got wind of Scheherazade's abusive husband situation and after getting said husband arrested, she offered Scheherazade a job.

Atalanta is a college student/TA who worked with Achilles' dad who ends up at their HS for a program or something, Achilles' dad has told him a lot about her.

Amakusa Shirou is an uncle married to the CEO of Babylon Gardens Pharmaceuticals, Semiramis. Semiramis herself is kinda chill if REALLY scary. She had to be pretty cutthroat to get to her position in the company, but Amakusa Shirou helped her mellow out, but she is still a massive tsundere.

"You know you COULD poison their lunch." "Semi, dear, I'm not going to poison my coworker's sandwich for being an ass." "It wouldn't kill them! Just a bit in their peanut better and they'll be stuck on the toilet for a week, no harm no foul."

Rex initially said Taiga would be an overly enthusiastic gym teacher but then I remembered that she was a homeroom/English teacher in Fate canon, but either or can do if you wanna be unique.

For Quetzalcoatl, Wrestling club supervisor when she isn't the senior year gym teacher. Some of the male students laughed that they didn't think a woman would know anything about wrestling. Two piledrives later, the students have earned a new appreciation for the importance on how not to be two pieces of shit. She's big on Lucha as in canon and during Halloween she gets JAGUARMAN to have an exhibition fight with her. They make a show of it but later on Taiga admits that Quatz could have CRUSHED her if they were actually fighting. She takes the wrestling club out for homemade Mexican food after tournaments

For Siduri, there's a bunch of rumors she's dating Caster Gil but it's strictly professional, Caster respects her too much to consider that. Archer Gil hits on her relentlessly, she manages to wound his ego more severely then anyone else simply by being unfailingly polite in her rejections and treating him like what he is, a teenage punk jumping higher than he can handle to land.

Ibaraki is Shuten's adoptive little sister after she was taken from an abusive mother, hence why Ibaraki looks up to her. Ibuki is either Shuten's big sister who had to take on a guardian role, or just her mom. Shuten and Ibuki have a bit of a strained relationship because Shuten saw the way Ibuki acted as they grew up, taking more and more responsibilities onto herself and refusing any distractions. And she decided that her biggest nightmare is to wake up one morning and realize she's turned into Ibuki so she tries to do everything to avoid that, hence their relationship not being the best. Ibaraki is kinda stuck in the middle because she wants to side with Shuten but she sees where Ibuki is coming from. Messy.

Caren is still Kotomine’s daughter, but he isn’t a good dad and in rebellion she sleeps around despite being a woman of god. Including sleeping with local punk Angra Mainyu. Angra Mainyu seems like a bad guy but he has a shit load of issues due to being blamed for everything going wrong in his old town, eventually coming to believe them and thinking he will cause nothing but problems. Caren banging him gives him a type of closeness he’s never felt, but under very warped circumstances.

For the Tamamo family, Vitch totally fucked her way up a corporate ladder or something, imagined Tamamo Cat working at a Cat Cafe if she were a Student. Tamamo no Mae accidentally fed her prev BF a food he was allergic too, and that kind of haunted her and scared her rep. IDK basically she seriously fucked up a previous relationship, either on purpose or accidentally, and that kind of hurts her deeply so she wants to start over with Hakuno.

Nero and Tamamo no Mae are rivals over this one guy.

Kiichi Hougen is the adoptive mom, Benkei is the family friend/uncle, Taira is Ushiwaka's older sister. Taira isn't on the best of terms with her family, some drama way back caused a rift and nowadays Ushi is the only one who's willing to talk to her and visit. Benkei never lets her go alone because he doesn't trust Taira one bit. Taira and Ushiwaka are Kintoki and Tomoe's cousins (I say Tomoe b/c apparently her husband and Ushiwaka were half cousins, with their grandpa having kids with their grandmas. I tried to make a whole family tree out of a few servants).

These are the ideas we had the most to talk about, if you guys have any suggestions for your fav servants in this AU, let either me or Rex know. Or just reblog and say them here. Who knows maybe you have a much better idea for a Servant we already mentioned.

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ALL POE

jill a) can’t believe you asked me to do all of these and b) can’t believe i actually did as many of them as i did. just gonna. speed through:

C'ai/Poe

the only valid poe ship imo. 

(two pilots sitting no a bare inch apart bc they are gay & dating)

also like come on there’s WAY too little ~interspecies~ dating in the main star wars movies, for a universe with so many non-humans. understandable under the Empire/on the FO side, but the Rebellion/Resistance/Republic/New Republic are all supposed to be more open minded/respectful of differences and idk i just feel like there should be more intermixing. 

finnpoerey

i just genuinely don’t think poe likes rey. like he doesn’t want her to die but mostly bc like. she’s finn’s friend and it would upset finn. otherwise they genuinely just seem to be irritated with each other so i can maybe buy, finn having relationships with both (that they’re both aware of & consenting to) but also i think poe would have trouble with finn being so involved with rey (he’s canonically touchy about their relationship! plus, he doesn’t trust force stuff already, so). so also, no.  does not work for me.

Snap/Poe

ADORABLE bc i love snap and i love the idea of poe having a relationship w someone he considers a friend who also treats him well & values him, plus they have a lot in common being Rebellion kids. also Snap is older, so I think that’s a fun switch-up of a lot of the other pairings Poe is usually in.

Kyle/Poe

poe has taste, so. no.

Poe/Hux

i think it’s funny/satisfying on the level of hux is like, grossly attracted to poe bc poe is very attractive and competent and keeps causing significant damage to FO ships, which must drive hux absolutely nuts. and just the idea that hux finds him really attractive but poe not only has no interest but also just does not think of hux as a person at all makes me laugh. hux just sitting there consumed with LUST and vibrating w rage about it until he dies. DELIGHTFUL.

Poe/Rose

I wish there was more just Rose & Poe hanging out tbh. Like in that one (for kids?) comic she seems kind of in awe of him but he just automatically slides into a big-brother role with her, and I just -- think that’s very sweet. I don’t see it romantically but they are both such good people dedicated to the same good cause i think they’d get along a lot better than we ever got a chance to see.

Poe/anyone from the original trilogy

THEY’RE TOO OLD AND KNEW HIS PARENTS, IT IS CREEPY, IT’S ESP CREEPY WHEN FIC WRITERS BRING IT UP IN FIC, WHICH I READ A FEW TIMES OUT OF CURIOSITY BUT HATED EVERY TIME. YES, EVEN/ESP THAT LUKE/POE FIC EVERYONE RAAAAVES ABOUT. NO THANK YOU.

Poe/Reader

i’m too old to find canon character/reader fics anything but cringe. go back to wattpad, YOUTHS.