#like. at some point he became a zombie and instead of a horse he got a tiger

[gamebunny-advance]

Hm.

I dunno if I'm gonna finish Carol's ref because I don't actually use him for anything, but in case I don't, I at least wanted to post this sketch of him buried in the ground.

[cryptid-killjoy]

GoGo didn't pull any sensitive offenses. Jetsam checked that off in his mind. CHECK. He was right about her. CHECK. Then she offered a possible dress swap at some point. DOUBLE CHECK. Then her suggestion was to go on a joyride? TRIPLE DOG CHECK YA. Hello. Jetsam just earthly approved of Scout's friend that fast.

"I haven't been behind the wheel of a car since I smashed up old coin hips' car. Do you know how many years ago that was? Me either. I don't keep track. Fuck calendars."

Then he reared back and roared a gutteral metal scream while beating his chest. It seemed like it shouldn't be able to be done without a mic and some petals but there he was like he had a natural reverb box in his belly.

"Let's go bitches!" He sounded off like he was commanding a chaotic army of anarchy even though he was basically only addressing Scout and GoGo.

That loudness got two more people's attention though. Chip and Dale. Jetsam's actual biological sons. Fire lit behind both their eyes. It was the thrill seekers' flame ingited in the both of them. Dale was loudest when he hollered back. He didn't get to see glimpses of his father like Chip did. Chip had a secret world with him in the middle-worlds with Savvy, but not Dale.

"Regulators!" Dale called out, an ol' thing his dad used to do when they were young to gather everyone up.

So Scout called out, "Mount up!"

It was a Young Guns thing when they got on their horses, but they always said it when they'd scramble for their atv's and go out in the wilds of Laveau Estate back in the day. Today they were being joyriders and finding something out there to ride in the wilds of Feral. Chip heard about all the zombies. It made him start to feel like a little piece of home was in him. He turned and gave his wives a signal he was outtie and went running after his brother and sister... and god damn dad. The dad he killed, yeah, this was going to be a good fucking night.

Dale jumped on a table and threw his Barbie Doll box over his head and tried to ring it around Ellie's whole body like a last party game as the group went running out to cause havoc in the Feral streets.

Babyface would turn in his cop outfit ready to smack a bitch down for fucking with Ellie when he realized it was Dale.

"That fucker." His eyes tried to keep up with the crew weaving around dancers jamming out to the exit.

"We should go see what the Hell they're doing." He suggested before taking off looking more like a cop after someone with his billyclub out than a criminal for once in his life. Halloween wonders.

The young Laveau crowd with GoGo had gotten the drop on him though. He was lagging behind when he got outside. His excitement was banking on a thrill himself with all the hussle he was seeing, but what he didn't expect was for his feet to stop when he saw the beach at the bottom of the castle. He stopped running.

"Ells?" Something about fresh water had a way of taking him back to the island. It became that moment where Babyface Beagle didn't follow the crowd and instead stood in his unhealed feelings. He hadn't meant to be a party downer, but it caught him right in the chest.

"We're in Feral." The reality of where they were started to truly dawn on him for the first time. They'd come for a costume ball, but how often were they really allowed in this place? It had access to Pleasure Island.

"I have to go there. We have to go. I'm going before Delta tries to put us back on that bus out. I have to see it."

It. He didn't say the words, but it ached inside him. Maybe she wasn't the same, but it's all he could think of now. To him she had to know.

---

Valerie said it like Thomas was special and the reason why because he absolutely was. He confirmed. She was fucking with him tonight. "I'm a house. It's my god damn house." She grinned. Not a box. Never in the box again. "I'm with you." She needed all those words tonight. Moreso she needed the expression on her husband's face, the way he paid attention. That's why she was with him. Never ignored. Never brushed off. This was where she felt like she mattered. She mattered.

She felt the rush of her family racing off for different fun. They all became a blur behind the order of her eyes. That was okay. Thomas was still front and center.

"I would love to dance."

She held her hand out to be swept off to the dance floor. It looked like someone was going to have a traditional night at this ball after all.

--

Then there was Pierre. Zero and Seven did step aside. If Zero was a long time coming, Piper was a whole other level. Pierre altered her forever. Paramour yes, but it was more. They were supposed to be family. No one cut this thread.

There was a literal inferno beneath her skin that only existed in her eyes because of him. It burned through doors to open magics inside her she could dream of controlling. But, that was the thing about fire wasn't it? Fire was dangerous and hard to contain. It ignited other worlds within her. Sleeping worlds were now awake in her veins.

"Nope. I should have known better." There was a smile. "I'm glad. I always had a soft spot for your face." She took the hug in and used it to her advantage. She was anything but appropriate. Piper didn't skirt anything after that. She slipped a hand down his front, soothed right over his cock with one hand and kissed him clean on the lips in front of everyone. "I really, really missed you." She'd say ever so sensually. But, she didn't let go of his cock when it was over.

"Shhh. Don't move. Don't try a time loop. You're already in one. You don't want to cross magics like that. They think we're still kissing."

She held not a knife, but her curled hand to his throat, like Vader began to squeeze his throat without even touching him. "That's all they see. But, you listen to me. I don't care if you think you're here for all Hallow's thin veil. I've been pouring the purple sands for a long time waiting for your grain to drop. Wishing. Manifesting. Summoning you. I think I know a way for you to come back here, but you have to vow to leave the Bellerose's in peace. Can you do that? For me? For fucking once, do right by me?"

Contradictory much? A little confusing. Probably. But Piper wasn't fucking around. She never did anymore. She wanted him to know he was wanted here, but it didn't matter, she'd fuck him the fuck up in this world or the next if he fucked with her sister's head again if she gave him this chance and it actually worked. Hell, maybe he didn't want to come back? Maybe he'd disappoint her all over again.

----

When Maddy explained to him Pierre was definitely still dead and reminded him of Frollo Bastien's heart sank. He didn't care about Pierre anymore. It showed deep down to Bastien Pierre wasn't a real threat, more a pest.

"If Pierre and the Merry Men got in the castle then... Frollo." Bastien's hands actually started to tremble along with the side of his jaw when his mouth wasn't closed. This was a true Halloween fright to him and it was only a mere thought. "Let's stay close to Frankie tonight. It's a shields up night, Maddy." Bastien didn't even know if Frollo was really there, but he wasn't taking any chances, not with his little girl.

It was about then the Merry Men started to gather around one of their favorite castle couples.

It was Wulf who brought Agnes the piggie up to Maddy. "Someone misses you." To Bastien he'd say, "After all the times I've hooked you up I know you got something for me now."

Bastien would give him the, "Just let me get Frankie first and then I got you covered."

The whole crowd would start to distract them. Lance would ask people thought he could play music too. He wanted to hold a real guitar again in his real hands. All sorts of hub bub was going on.

-

River had needed that hug from Elsa. It went on so long it was like a Disney World character hug where the mascot refuses to let go until the patron did. River nearly didn't let go.

As much as River enjoyed Koda he was happy enough to sit with Elsa. It didn't even dawn on him to go running off with the others of his family yet because he'd been so attached to the house in New Zealand. He followed Flotsam/Valerie nearly everywhere they went watching out for entities that might try and slip into her necro-magnetic field.

He'd meant to spend a little more time with his siblings, but it seemed his other dad got to them first and had them on exit. "I uh... I already climbed that moutain once today. I'm not doing it again. I think I'll stay here." He said as he watched them all fleeing on some kind of excited high.

No. River would stay and dance with his parents. Elsa first. Then he might try to cut in on Thomas if they hadn't finished by then. He looked over at his mother-form Valerie and Thomas dancing. River hadn't gotten to see her in a big gown like that in real life dancing so happily before. Thomas always made her happy, but this was different. He could see she was living her fantasies in real life with him. Now if only Elsa would say yes to a dance with him.

"Ma. Er. I mean... Mother. We should dance. Will you dance with me?"

--

Back in the throne room. "School. Ew." Silas looked annoyed by the thought and blew it off. That was the thing though wasn't it? Silas had so much going on. Halloweentown High. He never wanted to do that. He did it to make his father happy. Oogie happy? He was following a lead that didn't exist for him. His real parent was gone. He was cut off from Oogie when he got trapped in Feral. He'd found out too much along the way. He knew who his biological mother was now. There were a lot of ways to feel, but he wasnt sure he felt any. What Silas did thrive in was his routines. When his way was thrown out of wack meltdowns would happen. He'd been in Feral a long time now and his new routines were in place. He still couldn't help but feel life was easier when he had a Jenner Chernabog to do things for him.

"You should give me my father back, and let us move in the castle, give us a room, each of us of course."

Delta's face couldn't have been further from contorted. Her hunch's whole body might have twisted into every line her face had. "Why would I do that?"

"I can't get out of Feral. I've tried. You have the best castle and it'll make my life a whole lot easier if I just have him back. He does things for me I don't like to do."

Delta looked over at Frank and she couldn't take it. She sort of wanted to do the expressionless thing, but she couldn't. She upchucked some real laughter deep from within. It jostled her so much her curls bounced upward on her sproingy head.

Then the face Silas started making due to her mocking him only made her laugh more. She couldn't breathe.

She had to hold onto the side of Frank's arm to catch her breath before she finally said, "So let me get this straight. You want us to give a shit what makes your life easier?" She even wiped her face on Frank's sleeve. They were actually watering it made her laugh so hard.

"Is this really happening right now?" Delta thought he might be mentally challenged.

Then Silas responded, "So you're saying I need to earn my keep to help you here?" He still tried to explain it to Delta. "That's what my dad is for. He's the one that does things for other people. Me too. He can't do them from in there. Just let him out and we can both get things."

"I've had him this whole time. If I wanted him out don't you think I would have?" Delta wasn't even sure why she was arguing with him. There was something about him that made her want to engage.

"No. He must have made you mad to put him in there. He loves me. If he has me here he'll do what you say because he'll be happy. It's a win-win, Delta, Frank. I can control him. I always do. I'm the joy of his life, his reason for going on without madness. He said so. Besides you, Delta. He always said that. There's Delta and there's me. His boy. We're the only thing that keeps his head above board after Hades. You know it's true."

Ok, now Delta's face was changing. She knew anything could go wrong with a plan like that. She thought of about a dozen ways it could go south in a matter of a minute. Still, she'd been trying to figure out how to safely handle him if she dared eject him from the vessel. Uncle Jenner. Delta was more sentimental about it than Silas was. Silas had attachments, but Delta actually cared in her depths. They weren't the same kind of emotions Delta had which was why this was walking a fence and Frank could probably feel it by all the sudden involuntary imagery in her head of her past.

"You think you can walk in here and get me all stirred up for Uncle Jenner because you have Daddy issues?"

"Uncle issues much? Pot. Black."

Her eyes narrowed in on him. Then without moving her head she told Frank on their private frequency "I want him alive. But he's yours until further notice. Tower. Dungeon. I don't care. I don't care what you do as long as he survives it with enough surgeon's fingers left to surg. I have to think. Don't judge me right now, Lurch. I can't think. I need to think."

She shivered as she dared let her head test the waters of what Jenner once insinuated. That she had a brother. A cousin? Like family? Delta hated this shit. Right when she thought she was out a thread with a grapple hook would pull her back in. This was why she liked Hell. It was silent. Just her and Frank. All that longing for family always disappeared there. She suddenly felt like blaming her father for this.

Then she remembered Oogie. "Get this Oogie lover out of my face."

"Heyyyy, guys. There's no Oogie in Feral." He tried to reason.

Then she held up a hand for Frank to wait.

"You are seriously trying to tell me you don't care about Oogie and expect us to just forgive and forget you were with her before? Yeah, right."

"No. I expect you to understand I'm not what you think I am."

Delta was too fuming to understand it because he was getting under her skin. It was hard to do but he was close enough to know her triggers. But what he meant was he wasn't like others. He didn't feel inside like others. Nothing counted to him because in his mind nothing was real. In his mind all he did was walk up and offer his control services of his father in exchange for accomidations. But, that's because he couldn't feel what Delta did. His attachments always came with a use for him not an actual sentiment. He didn't like staying out where he had to keep figuring out his own food, doing his own cleaning. Life was annoying without a father to delegate tasks.

“Later,” Go-Go said to Nebby, much more distracted by this dead dad. He didn’t look dead, not like River over by the piano did. That made this a lot more interesting. Jetsam had a big grin on his face so Go-Go grinned too at seeing her best friend happy, and this crazy looking guy happy too.

“Yeah, that sounds accurate,” Go-Go nodded at the description of her. Beanpole, check. Computer chip? Check. Ready to go ludicrous speed? Double check. Call her a black 1970 Dodge Charger R/T because she was fast and furious, baby. She looked down at her dress, smoothing it over her small frame. “Yeah? Maybe we could do a swap sometime.”

She started to laugh at Scout’s joke too - she followed Koda on instagram after meeting him, even though they’ve never really spoken. So she knew who the horse was. And knew that there was one man in this room who would very much disagree that a horse would look good, ever. Which made her chuckle a little harder.

Think fast? Yeah, she was.

“I was thinking we could go o a joy ride with some of the cars that I saw down in town, have some fun with no speed limits and no annoying pedestrians?”

She was thinking she wanted to try car surfing too, even if it was extremely dangerous but the wind whipping through her hair? The adrenaline? Fuck, it seemed like it would be a real trip.

--

Thomas found it hard to concentrate on his own vision at times but he did practice a lot, especially while he was working on his projects at home. The little details in carvings from the bed frames to the statuettes he made, he had to have a precise eye. But he was’t looking at Valerie the same way that he looked at a project. He was looking at her like she was the finished product, and he was admiring it. She was more gorgeous and awe-worthy than the Statue of David, had more strength than the terracotta army, and more elegant than the Bust of Nefertiti.

More than her song - Thomas wanted her here for everything.

And he was pretty sure everyone else did too. Delta didn’t invite her here just to perform. She wasn’t here to provide the entertainment, Valerie wanted to do that. And now she could take a step back, relax, and enjoy the party, even with Jetsam here. He seemed preoccupied for now, anyhow. And when he would, invariably, make his way over, Thomas was going to be right there.

A smile widened on his face when she said those fucking powerful words.

“You’re goddamn right,” He said with a stiff nod. She had more right to be here than a lot of these people. Than these ghosts. But man his heart was touched and his cock was growing hard. She said that like he was special too. Like she was special because she was HIS fucking wife, when she had always had the capacity to glow on her own.

“And I’ll remind you every single time. You’re not a box. You’re a whole goddamn house,” He told her. Because there were bits of Valerie all over their home, from her loaded closet in the bedroom to the Nutella always kept in the cupboard in their kitchen. No one puts baby in a corner. No one puts Valerie in a box.

He squeezed her hand once hers had reached his. Her strength was incomparable. “Yeah - you’re here with me tonight, love, and I’m going to make sure that we have the best time.”

Though the main show was over, Valerie’s singing, Black Arts’ playing, the dancers gone to their dates or frieds, Cheshire was still playing music over the speakers. He brought Valerie’s hand up to his mouth with a small smile making the corners turn upwards. “Care to dance with me?”

--

“Thank you,” Elsa said with a small bow of her head. The dress was quite dramatic, but it seemed to fit the theme. Normally she wouldn’t go through such rigamole for a single event but - this felt different. She was REALLY here with Koda, and everyone was seeing it this time around. Everyone, all together. So she allowed her credit card to get a little wear and tear.

And then River told them that he had been working on this, and he had been around and Koda’s amazement. It made her take a step out of herself for a moment and think about what River must have been up to. She had put herself in isolation for a large portion of her life, and it had been uncomfortable. River was a social being, and he had been forced into it, into being this invisible ghost that can only be seen during rare occurrences. Of course he had been practicing for this. It made her tighten that hug up once more.

The two boys - the two most important in her life, finished each other’s sentence in a different way and it even had her laughing a little. Seeing them together was just - good. Just like how she was going to be feeling good to watch this River interact with the rest of his family tonight.

“Yes, of course,” She said, nodding towards Koda. And then a small little smile at his double-meaning. She was always cool, wasn’t she? Though not as cold. “I’ll be alright.”

There was no ‘Tell him I say hello’ because Elsa just didn’t. She had nothing to say to Jetsam.

"You're still a charmer, River."

--

Stiffness - but not resistance. A part of him had expected a tantrum - but that was going off of the young man’s face rather than his mind. He just - very much looked the type. Spoiled soft. Rotten. But he didn’t resist, he walked without causing a scene. Another interesting thing to notice.

“I didn’t ask for a history lesson,” Frank said, lowly. “I’m out of school now, don’t need lectures.”

He wasn’t the only one with imagination. Delta had it in hoardes too. Turning the horse from a metaphorical thing into something real that their uninvited guest could be shoved into, he liked that. His mind went through the old gypsy-torturing technique of cutting open a horse’s stomach, shoving the owner inside, and then putting it over a burning flame to suffocate and heat to death at the same time? He’d like to do something like that. He didn’t have a great love for animals.

Oogie had been too pre-occupied to think about Delta. The Horned King’s spell had taken some of her best and brightest from her school, and she had to reassure many grieving parents that if their kids had any sense in their goddamn heads, they would have just stayed at her school instead of venturing out into NOLA. It was their own faults for leaving Halloweentown in the first place. There was a lot of victim blaming there. And then trying to groom the ones that were leftover. She had given Silas space in her new torture rooms to do as he wished, order what he wished, play with whoever he wished. But didn’t have the proper time to actually spend with him and share her own wicked imagination.

And then his acid girl spit through the shit, getting right to the point and he focused his eyes on Silas, waiting for a lie. He didn’t find one.

Well, it wasnt exactly the most exciting reason. But it wasn’t the stupidest either.

--

Pierre had been looking at Piper over Zero’s shoulder for a full minute now. Did a part of him love her, the way that it loved few other of his paramours? Yes. She lingered. She lingered hard, like lipstick on his skin, like perfume after she left the room.

And Seven and Zero stepped back like this was some kind of a movie and this was the presentation of the hot female actress. Perfectly centered between the two men and heading straight for him, like something out of a dream.

“You think anything could completely get rid of this beautiful face?” Pierre said, closing his eyes as he hugged Piper, taking in the rich smell of her hair, her perfume. Did this girl even sweat? Seemed unlikely.

She smelled of their burning tree.

And in true Pierre fashion, his hands didn’t just go around her shoulders or back in that hug. They trailed down past her waist, to where back turned into ass, just skirting being inappropriate.

Maddy wasn’t paying attention to Pierre anymore. She had been walking towards their group of friends, Wulf, Arthur, Little John, Lance, having already called the first two’s names but they were looking around the room rather than focusing on individual people, apparently. Then Bastien returned to her and laid out that question.

She put her hand on his arm. “Oh, he’s still dead, Bastien,” She said, slowly. “Some ghosts can gather their strength and come back during the year, the way that Frollo did. But most others have to wait until Halloween to take on any sort of form. He’ll leave. He has to leave. And I’m not wasting another thought on him until I have to.”

It did show her one thing though. It was possible to hug the dead. And there were people here she definitely wanted to hug.

[ducknotinarow]

[CC and Raph uwu]

"Really? A big tough turtle like yer is scared of Zombie 'ere?" Casey can't help but tease, still impressed he managed to convince Raph onto the saddle in the first place, "C'mon Raph, yer jus' gotta relax a lil' - if she starts sensin' yer stressed, she'll start freakin' out herself, an' I doubt yer need anymore hits t' the head."

The last thing they wanted was Zombie to buck the Turtle off; it's survivable, but painful. It's why Casey moved to, gently, rest a hand on Raphael's shell, encouraging them to relax, while also making sure they don't lean too far back,

"Jus' keep yer left han' aroun' them reigns, an' yer right by yer thigh, when yer ready t' get walkin', jus' press yer legs in, gently, an' she'll start a nice, almos' as slow as a turtle, walk," He smirks at them, knowing what he said, "I'll be right 'ere at yer side okay? I aint goin' anywhere, an' once yer done, we'll give Zombie some carrots - she'll be yer bes' frien' for life if yer d' that."

When Zombie starts actually walking, Casey waits a moment, gauges to see if Raph is relaxing or not. When it feels like they're finally getting the hang of it, Casey, carefully, takes his hand from their shell. He walks a little quicker, turning around as he grins up at Raphael, holding up his hands,

"Still scared or did yer finally get outta that shell?" Casey laughs, "See, yer doin' great - aint got nothin' t' be scared of."

| Muse interaction

With Leo awake and just needing time to heal Raph felt like all was well enough to stray from their from their side. Somehow he wound up walking around the farm they were allowed to bunker down at for the time being with the owner of the land. Casey. Raphael was the suspicious time he just didn't trust many all that well, living isolated and only knowing four other beings can do that to a guy. Not to mention anytime Raphael and his brother did go up top? Well they weren't always welcomed. So Casey just having a sudden quick turn around to allow them so openly take shelter on his farm? Arm's folded over his plastron as he was eyeing said cowboy now. They were going about their usual morning routine of caring for all their creatures and such. Raph sort of standing off to the side in the stables eyeing them with narrowed eyes. He just didn't know what to make of this guy. They didn't give him a reason to mistrust them. Honestly that was what got under his shell the most. You could just tell this guy was okay. The softness to their blue eyes, the ease in how their lips curved into a smile. Their whole demeanor even was just so oddly relaxing.

His attention only shifts off from Casey when he feels a slight tug at the back of his mask. Slightly turning his head to the side a tad startled to be face to face with one of the horses just now. he hadn't noticed he was standing by an occupied one till now. He tries to move away only to feel resistance on the back of his head near pulling him back as tried. He grunts a bit then looks back to find the horse has the ends of his mack in their mouth. "Let me go."

He state loudly suddenly. Hand set to the stable door as he tries pulling again. He doing his best to became and not tug to hard though and doesn't even try to lad a finger on the horse. Just tries to tug his head back again but damn this thing has such a grip. He can feel himself get tugged over instead gritting his teeth he just lowly growls "Would ya knock it off." Another tug and now he turns towards Casey "Ya dang horse is tryin' ta eat me!"

Even once he was freed from Zombies grip, he made it clear he was not going anywhere near those things again. He never knew just how big and huge horses were till coming to Casey's farm. Oh but of course the moment this jerk seemed to pick up that Raph was spooked by them. A devilish glint seemed to take over his eyes and the teasing started. Going on and on about how he was just scared and what not. Of course he had to prove a point and somehow now Raph was out in the corral with Casey, and Zombie. Though the real shock was he was sitting on top of the saddle. Clearly not liking it in the slightest. He felt way to high his center of gravity he was so acosutme to was gone. It wasn't like riding his shellcycle there was no control here for him. Sure their was the set of reins he could hold on to but it didn't give him any comfort in the slightest.

"Really? A big tough turtle like yer is scared of Zombie 'ere?"

Raph just grumbles under his breath as Casey continued to get on him. Turning to look towards them as he tried swatting at them to shut them up "Listenin' here ya-" unable to finish his insult as he felt himself near fall right off the horse. Hand quick to gran on to the horn when he felt like he had leaned over to much and slowly move himself back over.

"C'mon Raph, yer jus' gotta relax a lil' - if she starts sensin' yer stressed, she'll start freakin' out herself, an' I doubt yer need anymore hits t' the head."

Raph just groaned a bit "yeah yeah" he grumbled under his breath slightly moving to straighten back up. Slightly freezing up when he can feel Casey's hand land on the back of his shell. Suddenly he felt clam again under their touch himself. Seemed the Horse settled herself once he was. Turning his head away a bit so Casey couldn't see the look on his face as he looked down to the horse. He could feel a flutter in his shell and was mentally scolding the organ inside him for the reaction just now.

"Jus' keep yer left han' aroun' them reigns, an' yer right by yer thigh, when yer ready t' get walkin', jus' press yer legs in, gently, an' she'll start a nice, almos' as slow as a turtle, walk,"

Eyes shift to glare over to them as they simply smirk well away of what that said clearly said on purpose. Raph just huffed a little as he breath out. But he did take hold of the reigns as Casey said trying to get a good feel for it in his hold. He still didn't trust how thin how this thing was seeing how it was meant to be his only support and way to lead their horse. Nothing like handle bars in the slightest. As if Casey could tell the doubts working in his mind just now he spoke up.

"I'll be right 'ere at yer side okay? I aint goin' anywhere, an' once yer done, we'll give Zombie some carrots - she'll be yer bes' frien' for life if yer d' that."

There's something about the tone when Casey speaks to him just now, shifting his gaze over to them again before looking forward he dose as Casey said and gives a squeeze of his thighs gently and just like he start she slowly started to move forward. It did slightly make him move back but thanks to Casey's hand he didn't leaned back any further. Slowly getting settle on the saddle as he fixed himself up again trusting if he slipped nothing would happen. Casey true to his word was stay right beside him as Zombies seemed to get into a easy pace. Slowly Raph could feel his nerves easing away slowly relaxing as tensions seemed to be falling right off his shoulders. His hand even lazily rested to his thigh no longer gripping his nails into his thick skin there. This wasn't so bad? He hadn't even noticed Casey moved away from him till hear heard them call out just now.

"Still scared or did yer finally get outta that shell?"

They said hands held up near perfectly farm that damn grin there had on as they laughed. They clearly were loving a chance to tease Raphael over his fear of the creature.

"Ya, owner really creasin' me Zombie." Raph mutters to himself mostly as he stays put simply staring up ahead at Casey. He didn't have much of a remark to give other than how his brow furrowed up as he simply scowled over to Casey a little. There's a sit inside of his shell as he settles his gaze over them a moment. Taking in that look on his face. Even though Casey had moved from behind right at his side, he didn't feel fear coming back of sliding off or even getting buck right of the horse.

He just trusted them. Something about Casey, he just trusted them without question even if that dick roasted the hell out him over, showing a fear of the creatures they spent so much time around. Something about them was just.

"See, yer doin' great - aint got nothin' t' be scared of."

"...that might not be ture." Raph says softly to himself, it seemed the fear of falling off the horse was slowly being replaced at the chance of falling in a different way. For Casey.

[ramzawrites]

Ok I have coffeed up 🦀🦀🦀

Could I request a fic about a Male Reader Border Collie Hybridbeing hired to look after the pets of the Syndicate while theyre at a meeting? Having to feed every single dog, Ranboos cat, Carl, the parrots, Steve the bear, etc? Trying to wrangle the foxes because theyre trying to eat poison potatoes, shooing zombies off the turtle eggs? -🌱🌟

The Syndicate’s Pet Sitter - BorderCollie!Hybrid!Reader

Male

Pairings: none

Characters included: Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo, Nihachu

Warnings: n/a

Series: A request for my beloved 🌱🌟<3

Summary: The Syndicate is meeting up early in the morning and didn’t have the chance to feed their pets yet. Luckily Y/N who lives there as well but isn’t part of the Syndicate can take care of them. And no that is totally not because Border Collies are good herding dogs.

Words count: 4732

Authors Note: I just noticed I missed the foxes oh no ;_; Why do the Syndicate have so many pets I swear! I hope you guys enjoy this! Esp you 🌱🌟 since you requested it! I also haven’t had the chance to properly look over it look for typos, I apologize! I’ll deal with that as soon as I can! Also thanks for the prompt 😌 I have a weakness for animals and dogs

The chest let out a strained creak as Technoblade closed it for what felt like the hundredth time. He was preparing for the next meeting of the Syndicate and this time he, as well as Phil, had actually planned a few things other than just showing the newest members where the headquarters were and setting up the rules for the organization.

While both men were busy running from chest to chest collecting materials and writing down information into books, they were accompanied by a soft rhythmic thud as well.

That sound came from Y/N. More specifically his tail swishing up and down as he was sitting in front of a window on the windowsill. Watching peacefully as the two went about their business.

Y/N was a Dog Hybrid. A Border Collie Hybrid to be specific. He has been technically living with Techno and Philza for a while now but Techno liked to act as if he was just some stranger to him.

When Y/N first came to the SMP Philza and Techno were the first people he met and ever since then he has gotten quite attached to them.

At first Techno tried to get rid off him, especially since he always gave him wishy washy answers concerning his opinions on governments but Y/N wouldn’t let himself get spooked off that easily and even begun building his own little home close to them without asking. At that point Techno had to accept defeat and let him begrudgingly stay.

Philza liked to poke fun at that fact but he also understood Techno’s caution. Though over time Y/N has shown to be a trusty ally that could keep secrets, even once leading people astray since they became dangerously close to their home. Because of that Philza brought once the idea up that maybe they should let Y/N join the Syndicate after all as well.

Of course Techno immediately shut down the idea for the simple fact that not once has Y/N ever clearly stated that he was against any kind of government. There was no point in arguing with the Pig Hybrid about this particular topic so Philza just dropped the issue altogether.

That said after Niki came over to join the Syndicate and Ranboo got roped in it as well, Y/N managed to at least learn of the name of the organization.

He even asked to join to which Techno just said “Prove to us you are an anarchist and maybe I will think about it.”

“So you are saying you just want me to tell you the things you want to hear in order to get in? Doesn’t seem that smart to me.”

Y/N would always pull out these snide remarks whenever that topic came up.

For some reason Y/N woke up early and found that both Philza and Techno got up early as well so he just let himself in, sat down next to the window and begun happily munching on some cold steak for breakfast.

Techno made a point of ignoring him only muttering something about a “damn mutt” under his breath while Philza was chuckling to himself. Y/N’s fluffy dog ears obviously picked up on it but the happy swags of his tail continued on, knowing that if Techno really was annoyed by him, he would have already intervened way back when he begun building his home.

Phil was rummaging through a chest, trying to find some extra paper only to suddenly stop moving and turn around to look at Y/N, his arms still in the chest.

“Y/N?” adding a whistle to ensure that he would gain his attention.

As a response the Dog Hybrid looked absolutely aghast “Did you just-? Did you just whistle at me? Did you, Philza, just whistle at me to get my attention? Like a dog?”

“Sorry, just kind of happened but since you are here I have a request for you.”

Now Technoblade stopped whatever he was doing as well to observe what was happening in front of him, curious what he was proposing. A smirk adorning his features knowing full well that Philza probably whistled on purpose seeing how Y/N was kind of an unwelcome guest right now.

“You can request but no guarantee I will fulfill your request, old man.” Y/N spoke through an exaggerated pout.

This only earned him a tired sigh from Philza “Yeah, Yeah. As you can see we are up early for a reason but this also means we didn’t have the chance yet to feed the animals. Could you feed them all and make sure they’ll be alright while we are gone? You know how this place can get with pets.”

“All? Like all the pets? Like you want me to feed all the pets and take care of them?” Y/N was obviously intimated by the idea of the task judging with how his voice jumped up an octave to the end of the question. But who could blame him. Over time the group managed to amass a comical amount of pets which included a full hound army, polar bears, turtles, cows, Carl the Horse and in Ranboo’s case even parrots.

That reminded him.

“Does that include Ranboo’s bird and cat?”

“Does what include my bird and cat?” Suddenly the door swung open as Ranboo stepped inside Techno’s home. Cramping up the small cabin even more. The cold winter air only managing to sneak in for a short moment before he made sure to close the wooden door again.

Techno chuckled “We are asking Y/N here to feed our pets while we are busy at our meeting and to make sure they are safe while we are gone. He has time after all.”

Y/N’s shocked expression turned to a frown. Oh they did that deliberately alright.

Ranboo took a moment to take in the scene before he slowly nodded “Oh, if that is the case then I would actually really appreciate it if you could take a look at my parrot and cat. I haven’t had the chance to feed them yet since I ran out of seeds for the bird. Actually the reason I came over here was because I wanted to ask you guys if you had some extra.”

Techno’s smirk was ever present on his face as he motioned with his hand towards his mass of chests “Somewhere in there we have some but I’m sure Y/N will find them and take care of your pets as well.”

“Would you?”

Ranboo sounded so genuine and almost surprised by this that Y/N couldn’t come up with a snarky response but instead he looked defeated.

“I- alright. I will take care of your pets while you do your stupid Syndicate meeting.”

“We trained him well, Techno.”

“That we did, old friend.”

Now Y/N’s happy tail wagging did finally stop and he jumped up away from the window, surprising Ranboo in the process “You didn’t train me! I’m not one of your dogs!”

He knew they were joking but he still couldn’t let that stand.

Philza stepped closer to Y/N and put one of his hands on his head between his ears. Giving a short pat only to remove his hand again “Yes, we know. If that was true you would be listening to us at all times. Anyways, I spotted Niki outside and we are ready, so, we’ll be going. Make sure nothing happens to the animals! We are putting our trust in you!”

Before Y/N could protest or retract his agreement the group made sure to leave the little hut as fast as possible. Ranboo was very confused but still followed the others outside to loudly greet Niki.

Y/N himself was so bewildered by this whole situation he didn’t even make the effort to run out to greet Niki as well. Instead his thoughts begun to swirl around his new responsibilities.

What do Polar Bears eat? How is he going to feed all of the dogs? By Ender he hoped that Techno had all the necessary things in one of his chests.

That’s when a stray thought hit him “Did they hire me as pet sitter because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid? Did they seriously make me the pet sitter because Border Collie’s are stereotypically good herding dogs?”

That thought had to set in for a moment as he was asking himself if this seriously could be the case and knowing them that might have very well been a thought that crossed their minds. They all joked around about their hybrid parts but this was just ridiculous.

He didn’t know how yet but somehow he will make sure that the damn Pig and the Birdbrain will get this back tenfold. Ranboo was okay in Y/N’s book since he mostly got pulled into this by the others but even then he was still on thin ice.

“I better get going.” He whispered in order to try to pull himself out of his thoughts.

First on the agenda were the Polar Bears. Mostly since he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it and just wanted to get it over with but also one of the Bears was laying inside the hut. Snuggling close to the fire place.

That polar bear was Steve and Techno often made comments of him being his emotional support animal and at this point Y/N just believed him. With Techno who knew at this point.

Well what would Steve eat? Just some meat?

“Fish!”

How he didn’t immediately come to that conclusion he didn’t know but better late than never.

Y/N excitedly rubbed his hands together. Time to snoop through Techno’s things. No way in hell is he going to use his own resources to feed their pets. Hence why he begun looking through Techno’s chests. Taking note of things like stray armor, golden apples and enchantment books.

Somewhere in a corner he found some cooked fish. Should be fine, right?

Taking a couple of fish he moved over to Steve who was still lazily draped on the ground enjoying the heat from the fire. Carefully and slowly Y/N put down a couple of fish in front of his big snout. His dog ears pressed down on his head as he stared rigidly at the bear. Hoping for the best.

Steve’s black nose begun to twitch. He slowly opened up his eyes and lazily begun nudging the food closer to his snout with his big paw. Snacking on the pile of fish.

“Okay? I’m guessing that’s fine? I think?”

Just to make sure he still threw more fish towards him and then made his way with a second pile outside where Ed was waiting for his food as well. Ed was way more active and often enough obstructs the way up the stairs that lead to both Philza’s and Techno’s house.

Philza was always annoyed at Ed because of that particular reason. Though today he was a good Polar Bear that was sitting next to the stairs staring at Ender knows what.

Y/N threw him his pile of fish and watched for a second as he happily begun munching on them.

“Guess I’m doing alright after all.”

Almost as if to answer the bear suddenly begun to move towards Y/N which made him panic. Stepping back, trying to understand what he was doing now. Sure the bears are cute but also big and dangerous if they wanted to be.

But Ed bowed his head down and softly pressed his head against Y/N’s chest.

“Is this a thanks, buddy? Aw, no problem.”

Tentatively Y/N placed his hand on the bear’s head to give him one or two scritches. To which Ed then let out a deep puff of air through his nose and immediately moved back to his food to continue his breakfast.

All the Polar Bears are fed. Now only the whole hound army, cows, parrot, Carl the Horse, Turtles and Enderchest the Cat were left. Oh by Ender. That is still a lot.

Y/N immediately ran back into Techno’s hut and begun to search through his chests again. Grabbing things like Seeds, Sea Grass, more fish and some steak.

The parrot and cat were the easiest to deal with first so he decided to run into Ranboo’s house. Even if just to avoid the cold outside for a tiny bit longer.

He climbed down the ladder and found the parrot patiently waiting for him. Excitedly squawking as soon as he saw him.

Placing the seeds in front of the animal Y/N took a good look at the colorful bird.

“How are you doing? Keeping Ranboo company? Making sure he isn’t feeling too lonely?”

“Company! Company!” Ranbird answered in a shrill voice only to continue picking up the seeds off the ground.

Y/N liked spending time with Ranboo. He was a bit of an enigma with his memory issues and interesting behavior at points but Y/N loved hanging out with him. He would always try to offer to play pranks on Techno but Ranboo was too apprehensive about it, not wanting to make the scary Pig Hybrid mad at him.

The two had a bit of a running joke going on where both Ranboo and Y/N would call the other weird. Ranboo for his weird behavior and Y/N for the simple fact that he apparently didn’t fear Techno at all. Philza and Ranboo having to mostly hold him back before he could seriously upset Techno.

“Enderchest? Come here!” Y/N called out and continued to do the typical mouth noises to attract cats. Luckily he did come around a corner.

Happily meowing when Enderchest saw Y/N. Chirping as he pressed his body against Y/N’s legs.

“See, you are a kitty and I am a dog hybrid but we like each other.” Was he still a bit salty about the fact that they most certainly chose him to take care of the pets due to his Hybrid side?

Yes. Definitely.

Sure, no one else was there who could deal with it but on the other hand normally they were always so prepared for everything so this must have been planned beforehand. They didn’t feed the animals on purpose because obviously he was there and had time.

A loud meow pulled Y/N back out of his thoughts again.

“Sorry, Enderchest. You are right it’s food time.”

He then took out two fish and placed it in front of the cat who immediately put them in his mouth and ran off with them. Probably to eat in peace.

Next on the list was Carl. If Y/N didn’t make sure that Carl was absolutely doing alright and was fed Techno would kill him. And while Y/N liked to joke with Techno and pretend that he wasn’t as dangerous as everyone else is treating him like, he also knew that Carl is so important to him that Techno let him get himself kidnapped by the Butcher Army for the horse’s safety.

Technoblade hid his horse behind a wall but Philza one day accidentally found it. Y/N immediately took the chance to build an actual hidden entrance. He liked being a bit of an annoyance for Techno but if he can somehow help out, he will.

Pressing a button on the stone wall gave away to the little stable he and Philza made for Carl.

“Breakfast!”

Some Hay and other food was always ready for Carl so all Y/N had to do was put some of it in the tray and make sure he still had water. Everything seemed fine so Y/N took a second to pet him.

“No idea why Techno is so attached to you but you do seem like a good one. He protects you so you better make sure to not disappoint him as well.”

Carl neighed and nuzzled his nose into Y/N’s shoulder. Softly nabbing on the clothes which made the man laugh in return and softly shoved Carl’s face away from him.

“My clothes aren’t food, buddy!”

Luckily Carl didn’t continue to screw around and instead concentrated on his actual food.

The next pit stop were the turtles and cows. It was easy feeding them since you just placed down the food and then let them go about their day. No, the dog army would be a problem later. They might be war dogs but they were still playful dogs.

Y/N closed up the stable for Carl and made his way through the snow towards the cows first. Opening up a chest that stood close by. He placed it there a few days back with a ton of wheat. It was meant as way to help with the feeding. It was meant for the others since these cows didn’t belong to him but now he was stuck with the responsibility after all.

The cows were happily chewing on the food that Y/N threw into their enclosure and seemed to be doing alright as well so he moved on to the turtles.

For the turtles he actually had to get into the enclosure. Putting the kelp down near the water so the turtles inside the water could see him placing the food down as well. All the while he had to make sure to not accidentally walk on top of the eggs that some of these turtles have laid.

The animals themselves seemed to ignore Y/N. Just slowly crawling along the coarse sand or floating inside the water.

That’s when Y/N heard a groan from behind him. A groan he knew too well.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Y/N swiveled around and pulled out his netherite sword. A sword he made with the help of Philza. During his travels in the nether he found some ancient debris but since he never worked with that material he asked Phil for help. Which was also the reason why the purple sword was called Swordza.

“You helped me make it, I’m naming it after you.” He said to Philza’s dismay.

Right now though the reason why he turned around so fast was that he heard the familiar retching sound of a zombie. It was still early in the morning no surprise there that a loose zombie might be around the place.

Also no surprise that the zombie appeared around the turtle enclosure. For some reason they loved trampling down turtle eggs which was really just barbaric if you really thought about it. Beings that seemingly just wandered around the overworld with no goal but as soon as they spot turtle eggs they suddenly know exactly where to go. Well, besides when they find a human to attack.

The zombie limped towards the turtles.

Y/N didn’t wait long to react. He immediately took a running start and jumped over the fence. Striking down with his sword while he was landing, giving the attack a little more oomph. Together with the enchantments on the sword the zombie fell down into a burning mess. Gurgling sounds escaping it only to die down. A growl escaped Y/N’s throat as he stared at the dead mob.

“Nothing will happen to the little ones while I have anything to say about it!”

He took another sweeping look around the place but found nothing out of the ordinary. With a relieved sigh he put his sword back. The turtles were fed and safe.

Though as he looked around his eyes fell unto the hoard of dogs. All fenced in under a self-made roof. Most of the dogs were laying around either in a small pile or alone. Some were trotting around or even playing but it seemed like the dogs were still tired.

It was time to deal with them.

Y/N walked over to the dogs and as he stepped closer the animals immediately took notice of him. A few running over to him while others just patiently stared. As he got closer to the fence the nearest dogs put their front paws on the fence. Barking excitedly.

If Y/N went in like this some will run out and that was not something he wanted to deal with. There was still some adrenaline pumping through his veins from back when he spotted the zombie but he was still slowly beginning to freeze. Honestly he wanted to get through this fast so he can go back into his cabin and enjoy the warmth of his hearth.

Maybe even begin to plot on how to get back at the Syndicate for doing this to him.

But this wasn’t important right now.

Y/N let out a sharp and loud whistle “Away! Come one! Move out of the way!” He pointed to a corner and surprisingly the dogs seemed to understand that he wanted them away from the gates.

When he opened said gate the dogs patiently waited for him to move in and close it again before they suddenly begun to swarm him. Jumping up trying to lick his face or they began sniffing him out.

“Hey! Stop! I can’t feed you like that!”

He had a frown on his face but his tail was happily swinging from side to side as the dogs greeted him.

“Okay, stop! Sit!”

Luckily the dogs were well trained since they immediately sat down. Still panting in excitement and whining but now they weren’t trying to pull Y/N down to play with him.

In return Y/N got out the steaks out of his inventory and walked past the dogs. Giving each one of them their share. Whenever some dogs begun to scuffle over the food all Y/N had to do was to whistle or yell “Stop!” and they would listen.

Truthfully he feared that feeding the dogs would be the most difficult task of all the animals but as it turned out they listened to him rather well. It’s probably only because Techno trained them so well but still, maybe there is a way Y/N could use this power for himself.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to feed all the dogs but once he reached the last one the first dogs were already done eating and happily following Y/N around the fenced off area. Sometimes barking, hoping to get his attention. While his ears would always move in the direction of the barking dogs, he made  appoint to concentrate on the dogs that he was actually interacting with.

Though when he was done he finally turned around to look at the happy dogs “You guys are needy, did you know that?”

As if to answer a dog right in front of him sat down and woofed at him.

Y/N rolled his eyes and knelt down, scratching that one particular dog behind his ear “You little pooch.”

That was a mistake. A huge mistake.

As he went down and balanced on the front of his feet the other dogs saw their chance as he went down to their height, practically jumping on.

Startled the Hybrid let out a yelp as the dogs pushed him on his back. Licking his face or tugging on his clothes.

He tried pushing the dogs away from his face but it he was unsuccessful. For every dog he pushed away two new dogs would try to jump into that new space. Sadly also pushing the dogs away seemed to be something fun for them.

At some point Y/N managed to get back up but still got swarmed by the dogs. All the dogs now in a happy playful mood after having eaten. Y/N could just tell them off but everyone on the outside could see that he had fun as well playing and tussling with the dogs.

Over time that tussling just became the dogs jumping into Y/N arms so he could throw them a few feet away while simultaneously trying to not fall down as some dogs begun tugging on his clothes again. The longer it kept going the more tired he got which was hi downfall. Quite literally.

He fell over again and while the dogs swarmed around him they too were getting tired and just laid down next to him. Framing his body or just straight up laying on top of him, one dog even snuggled up to his head, ending up more as a pillow for him.

At first Y/N tried to struggle against being buried alive by the animals but as soon as he noticed the warmth engulfing his body instead of the cold harsh wind he accepted his fate.

After all he was done with feeding the pets.

“Horrible. Techno would be proud with how relentless you all are.” A yawn escaped his lips which seemed to infect a few of the dogs as well.

It really didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. It was warm, soft and he felt safe.

The meeting for the Syndicate took longer than expected. They spent way too much time trying to find a common goal to start with. They didn’t want to do something huge at the beginning but start small, something that would test their cooperation and teamwork.

Though after they finally found something and started planning a few hours had past and since both Ranboo and Niki apparently had people to meet they had to stop the meeting early.

“You think the animals will be fine?” Ranboo asked Philza as they stepped out of their hidden headquarters.

The older man just waved off his question “Ah, they will be fine! We rag on Y/N often but we can trust him with things like these. He’s a good one even if he absolutely refuses to give Techno a straight answer when it comes to governments. I do believe he is only doing that to annoy him though.”

As the group approached their home again everyone took a good look around.

“Well, everything seems normal.” Techno noted.

Niki scowled “Aw I had hoped to see him. I couldn’t even say hello when I got here.”

That’s when Ranboo stopped dead in his track. He wanted to go home to get ready for Snowchester but something inside the dog pen caught his attention “Oh by Ender! There is an arm! The dogs have an arm!”

The other three ran over, confused with what the hell he was talking about only to see he was right. There was an arm sticking outside of the dogpile. Why did the dogs pile up in the first place though?

Out of nowhere Phil snorted and pressed his hand against his chest and mouth. Trying to stifle a laugh.

Niki still looked shocked and worried, confused with Phil’s reaction “What? Philza, why are you laughing?”

“Let me show you. Y/N! Are you awake, mate?”

At first nothing happened but then suddenly the arm moved and retreated back inside the dogpile. Now the others understood what happened.

Both Niki and Ranboo looked a bit embarrassed that they genuinely thought that these dogs might have ripped off an arm and were now cuddling with it.

Techno stayed stoic as always. Folding his arms in front of his chest, waiting for Y/N to properly react.

“Y/N, come on!” Phil called out again.

A muffled groan came from the pile of dogs and Y/N’s head appeared as he sat up “What?” He whined “I was having such a nice dream!”

“Oh my- Y/N! Good morning!” Niki greeted the Hybrid happily.

In response Y/N got a bit out of his furry burial but still pulled one of the ferocious war dogs closer to himself, hugging it. His tail now out as well showing the others his happy mood as he slowly drifted off again.

“Hello, Niki.” He sounded still half asleep. At least the others assumed since his face was buried in the dogs grey fur.

“Y/N please get away from my hound army. They are bred to fight and kill not for hugs and naps.” Techno grumbled.

“Then why are they so comfy and love me so much. They love me so much more than you” He made sure to drawl out the word “love” to really hammer that fact in.

“Let’s make Y/N then our go to pet sitter.” Phil noted.

This seemed to wake up Y/N, he immediately looked up with a scowl “No! I am not going to be your pet sitter! You put me in that role in the first place because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid, or am I wrong? If it’s true that’s seriously screwed up, by the way!”

Techno sighed “Yep, there he is. Now he is awake alright.”

[joshuaalbert]

ok here are my liveblog notes.

- girl we didn’t have to come out of the gate with “every important person in the series is the child of an older character.”

- this show literally thinks you’re stupid (note from like 7 hours later: i think this was about picard needing to explicitly explain that the ships were linked and moving into formation which like. no shit.)

- “if earth falls everything falls” yeah man fuck every other planet in the federation I guess

- I like this cook guy at least

- “jack is in there and he’s still jack” yeah the guy you know so well after like a week

- oh I guess picard is actually doing something for the first time this entire season instead of just. reacting to other people saying stuff to him. took long enough.

- geordi could be literally anyone please god give this man some technobabble or something. glad he gets to sit in the captain’s chair tho I know that was big for levar burton in tng

- oh nice deanna gets to be upset about riker rather than doing anything again. classic. worf you are the only one holding the line against white boy wednesday on a thursday.

- weren’t they just having a super hard time isolating his life signs the fuck

- well at least raffi and seven get to talk to each other 😐

- I mean the cook’s not wrong that it’s objectively stupid as hell to try to fight the entire fucking fleet alone but ok

- yeah wow the zombie movie imagery here. lm fucking ao.

- oh beverly did weapons so she’s good character now. this season’s entire philosophy.

- “planetary shields are down” yeah its almost like the stupidest plan of all time didn’t help but also nobody except picard is allowed to do anything so I guess this was to be expected. cant really blame her for this one i guess.

- except like. hey remember when seven became the most specialest person on all of voy and took over the entire show because she kept finding the solutions to problems and shit. lmao.

- like this moment of picard deciding to go back to the borg would have been powerful if we hadn’t been beating this dead horse for this many decades or if there was any actual sense of threat or. anything.

- “you are the part of me that I never knew was missing” yeah man “having biological children is the only key to a fulfilling life” is really progressive

- like this should be a really touching moment but there’s just. not enough chemistry here to make it work all these flashbacks are so surface level and take place in a week and you’re telling me this is enough

- like I’m a sucker for the power of love saves the day if it’s done well I won’t pretend I’m not but like. holy shit this aint it.

- oh shit deanna actually gets to do something what a fucking world

- “the time of the borg is over” god I wish but I’m sure they’ll keep finding a way to bring them back forever

- all those touching goodbyes might have been better if it ever felt like they were gonna have the guts to kill anyone off

- aw ok. seven hugging sidney was cute.

- NOT THIS AVENGERS ASS GIRLPOWER SHOT LIKE THEY ACTUALLY GOT TO DO ANYTHING. why are they nodding. what publicity fuckery.

- none of this felt earned. they were in the borg cube for like 15 minutes.

- hey uh I do not like this technology that “scans for other irregularities” that feels. bad.

- ok I’m glad tuvok is ok glad you got out of the bullshit alive

- oh yeah ok we’re just gonna frame starfleet as everyone’s happy ending. ok.

- no like remember back during uhhh whatever episode ro laren was in where it seemed like they might be actually critiquing starfleet some. what was the point of that if they were just gonna be like haha never mind starfleet is good for everyone it’s a place everyone needs to be to be happy.

- shaw knowing he was doing something wrong by calling her hansen doesn’t help actually and it definitely doesn’t help that he sounds like he’s about to start complaining about how hard it is to remember all these newfangled pronouns

- like I know I haven’t watched the first two seasons I’m not super familiar with raffi’s family stuff but this feels like a copout lmao

- the fact that they acknowledged ds9 continuity with “house of martok” but still managed to go the whole season not mentioning jadzia or alexander or anything is so. like.

- ok worf and raffi continue to be the best dynamic in this fucking show like they’re the only ones I actually feel anything for

- haha I love how they almost made deanna good at her job and then were like actually she and riker make fun of her patient

- my computer is buffering at the 1 year later mark I think it’s trying to save me

- “if ever there was better evidence that the past mattered” no please hammer the message of this season home harder

- why was that scene a year later have they just been standing there for a year. actually I guess it’s the only place in the whole world that’s lit well so maybe I’d stand there for a year too everyone probably has seasonal depression from being on the titan.

- oh my god

- oh myg od

- they. they fucking put him in red too. it wasn’t enough to be like yeah his happy ending is starfleet no it has to be the fucking command track he has to take after his father because god forbid he take after his mother to do something he was shown to be good at

- I hope I die for real actually.

- on one hand i feel like that nepotism line was a direct shot at wesley except they’re also doing the same thing but worse. so like ????? are they just trying to lampshade what they’re doing now it’s not fucking working.

- I’m going to fucking explode everyone forever

- the titan being renamed to the fucking enterprise is like. the perfect encapsulation of this show’s mentality. you can almost go forward a tiny bit (have new ship that is important) but then you HAVE to go back to the way things were (jk it’s the enterprise because that’s the only ship that can ever be important)

- stop namedropping your goddamn....it’s not even a planet now it’s a whole system. shut the fuck UP.

- yeah this is really professional. this is a functioning vessel. jack shut the hell up.

- what the fuck is this.

- isn’t this the same gag they used in the snw s2 trailer I haven’t actually watched it but I feel like I’ve seen a gifset

- jack shut up

- wow they really just didn’t want to have to make a decision on this. or they’re setting up the sequel. either way I hate being alive

- why did we even have a plot to this episode when they clearly just wanted to do the nostalgia world tour. I guess that explains why all the borg shit wrapped up so quickly they never actually wanted to do the plot. on one hand the plot was bad on the other hand watching 15 consecutive victory laps is also bad.

- this show is bad

- I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be someone who liked the first two seasons or cared about the bonds picard made with literally anyone else this is such a fuck you to all of that. hey remember laris. because even despite not watching the first two seasons I remember that she was in the first episode. but I know the show counts on you being too stupid to remember that anyway.

- ok I feel like that’s clearly just a premiere photo so that’s kind of funny

- jesus fuck

- let this man die

- there are literally tears in my eyes and not in a good way stop trying to set up a spinoff I’m so fucking tired

- everyone who hated wesley for being a mary sue had better hate jack that’s an order

🫥

[5csbin]

HAUNTED HOUSE !

HALLOWEEN TXT EDITION!

txt x neutral reader !

WARNING !: cursing! knifes! haunted house! JYP AND 6IX9INE!

a very crack and dumb one shot i made.

“MANE IF YALL DONT SHUT THE FUCK UP!” taehyun shouted as they were walking up to the line since everyone began to nag.

"this is why i wanted to go trick or treating instead." beomgyu pouted and folded his arms as he and the rest of the group waited in line to go inside of the haunted house.

well it was more like a haunted barn, where they would all get on a hayride and be driven throughout the barn and be spooked supposedly. "trick or treating?? how old are you again?" kai mocked him,

"no offense but i'm starting to think you were right when you said beomgyu was still mentally 9 years old because.. this is starting to get worrying. what 19 year old is trying go trick or treating?" yeonjun added in agreement, while taehyun shot him a dirty look for throwing shade at his best friend.

beomgyu’s first instinct was to scoot closer to (y/n), but he then fired off a clapback of his own. "the only thing that's worrying is that wig you're wearing, who the fuck are you even supposed to be? lord farquad on crack?" gyu fired back at yeonjun, who was now touching the short black bob on top of his head.

soobin couldn't help but laugh, even though it was his own boyfr- bestfriend getting flamed and soon, everybody else in the group let out laughter at gyu’s clapback. even taehyun, who couldn't stand beomgyu, was practically crying laughing at what was said.

"actually, i'm supposed to be dora," yeonjun replied, gesturing to his pink t shirt and bright orange jeans. "and soobin is.. well diego." he pulled soobin closer to him after saying that and kissed his forehead, before ruffling his blueberry curls a little.

"wait.. ain't dora and diego supposed to be cousins?" taehyun asked, his mouth curling in disgust, "i don't think that's positive..." kai added.

“cousin lovers.” (y/n) said making yeonjun smack their arm.

it was a wonder how they didn't annoy the others waiting in line for their ride, since they would fight every second. meanwhile as the group turn drew closer and closer, beomgyu found himself regretting agreeing to come here.

it was weird.. he loved horror movies, but he despised haunted houses because even though both were fake events, being in a haunted house was just so up close and personal you know?

if it wasn't for it being (y/n)'s birthday (lets just pretend ur birthday was on halloween.) beomgyu wouldn't have came, and he would have probably just stayed at home and took pictures of his costume for instagram before going over to hyunjin’s to watch scary movies.

(y/n) noticed that beomgyu looked uncomfortable amongst all of the roasts and jokes flying amongst the group and they decided to ask what was wrong.

"gyu, why do you look so sad? being sad is my job," (y/n) asked as the group continued to move up in the line. "i'm not sad," beomgyu answered. "i'm just nervous, i don't like haunted houses.. i had a really bad panic attack the last time i went to one, and i don't wanna have one and ruin your birthday or anything.. i probably should have just stayed my ass home."

"nah, you not going to ruin my birthday, you're my friend and i care about you... it won't be that scary, it's literally a haunted barn. you know what barns have? cows and chickens. now who's scared of cows and chickens? nobody. except blades of grass."

the little pep talk made gyu feel slightly calmer. "thanks," he replied, fumbling with the thick leather choker around his neck. "your costume is really cute by the way. i like the face paint."

"thanks, it was kai’s idea actually," they responded with a chipper edge to their voice. (y/n)' costume consisted of a sweatshirt and sweatpants with a skeleton printed on the front, and his face was made up to look like a skull.

after beomgyu was calm, he found himself overhearing a conversation between hueningkai, taehyun, and his knives.

"no tae, you can't bring your knives in here with you," hyuka shook his head as taehyun kept asking if he could run back to the car real quick and grab his knives "cmon kai, just in case a demon wanna try some shit"

"well.. can i get my ouija board?" tyun asked, his lips twisting into a devious smile. "i just wanna talk to the demons, it's halloween, and if it's any day i should be allowed to do this, it's today."

"ain't there no demons.. this is a barn. you wanna talk to demonic horses and shit?" yeonjun pokes in the conversation and raised an eyebrow.

"yes? of course i do, the fuck do you think i am?" taehyun whined, pointing to the devil horns on top of his head as the group finally made it to the front of the line and were waiting for the tractor to come back so that they could get on the hayride.

finally, after they all stood around and handed in their tickets to the clerk in front of the line, their tractor was ready, pulling along the hay covered cart as it came to a stop in front of the barn entrance, waiting for the group to board it.

"wait, hay? y'all ain't say there was going to be hay..." soobin complained, his skin already itching just by looking at all that hay. "y'all do know i'm allergic to hay right?"

"bitchhh, we been said it was a hayride involved," hueningkai snapped, "what you done caught the (y/n) disease where you forget everything every minutes or what?"

"aye i don't forget everything, i just be high," (y/n) cut in as they handed in their tickets to the clerk. "and i'm allergic to hay!" soobin cried out, scratching his forearm.

soobin actually is allergic to hay, but it wasn't something severe, he just got irritated by it and it caused his skin to rash up, not like his skin didn't already look as if it was full of rashes.

(that not true btw)

"oh well," hueningkai replied in a deadpan tone, shrugging. "guess you'll just die then."

after they've all handed in their tickets, everyone began to board the hay filled cart, with everyone obviously choosing to be closest to their besties.

when they got onto the cart. soobin was snuggled up to yeonjun, playing with his diego the explore backpack trying to ignore the itchy feeling the hay gave him.taehyun was resting his head on (y/n)’s shoulder, whining about his knifes, beomgyu was clinging onto kai for dear life, because he was still scared after all.

"i better not hear none of y'all screaming like no pussies after we get in here," yeonjun started after the tractor began to start up and drive them into the dark, cool barn. "how y'all gon be scared of demons when i'm taehyun a whole demon. y'all scared of him now?"

"actually, yes, i'm scared of him just a little bit," beomgyu answered, his tone groggy.

"considering he tried to kill me on multiple occasions and almost succeeded, yes yeonjun, i'm scared of taehyun and he make me fear for my life." soobin added on, slightly flinching at just saying the word taehyun.

"that was before i became positive," taehyun suddenly flashed soobin and beomgyu a toothy smile, "just like i'm positive that none of these demons or zombies or whatever the fuck is in this barn is gon' do shit to us."

"tae if you don't shut your ass up, there’s no demons in here, nor is there any zombies, they are paid actors. you wish you was in a horror movie so bad," hueningkai cut in, once again ruining tyun’s fun.

as of right now, nothing scary was going on. just the typical music playing throughout the barn, random screams, and plastic skeletons appearing out of nowhere. shit that made little kids be scared of, but anyone else wouldn't be phased. not even beomgyu was phased by what was going on, and he was the main one who was scared to come along.

but then.. things started to get more spooky. the people who were sitting on the edge would start to get grabbed and poked without warning, and people would come up on side of the cart out of nowhere and scream or otherwise bring attention to themselves, which would catch them off guard obviously, but shit like that was to be expected at a haunted house.. or in this case a haunted barn.

but soon though, things began to get downright creepy.

as they were sitting in the cart, slightly startled and caught off guard by the jumpscares, but not too shaken up, not even beomgyu was that scared, as he made sure to sit in the middle of the cart to avoid being randomly grabbed or touched by these strangers in costume, and it was just amusing to people like taehyun or (y/n), they weren't prepared for what started to happen next.

soon the music that sounded as if it was from a demonic nursery cut out mid note, and it was replaced by an old, gravely sounding voice that began to sing happy birthday very terribly and off key.

and they thought this was creepy, considering it was gus' birthday, but they considered it was a coincidence. "damn (n/n), they singing happy birthday to you, that's wild," yeonjun noticed, laughing at the 'coincidence'.

"see, i told y'all they’re really a skeleton, how else would they know that we're here for their birthday, hmm?" beomgyu added matter of factly causing the others to let out laughter.

so even though it was somewhat unsettling, it didn't become horrifying until the voice replaced "happy birthday to you," with "happy birthday (y/n)."

the place then became a chorus of "did yall hear that shit?" and "yeo what the fuck?!" after they noticed that, with (y/n) in particular being especially shook that there seemed to be a demon singing specifically to them, and their eyes went wide as the voice continued to serenade them, albeit poorly.

"see, this ain't it no more." soobin announced and hueningkai nodded in agreement. "h-how do they know it's (n/n)' birthday? much less who (y/n) is?" beomgyu asked as he held onto (y/n) even tighter than he was before. "i'm scared now."

"that's what we all want to know," yeonjun answered before reaching up to adjust his wig, before feeling nothing but his real hair tied back. he knew his wig didn't fall off or get snatched off, he had it secured with bobby pins, because it was one of his mother's wigs and he didn't want to lose it, but it had just completely disappeared.

"uh...my wig is gone," yeonjun announced and soobin just nodded. "same."

"no i mean it's for real gone... my dora or lord farquaad or whatever the fuck wig i was wearing earlier just.. disappeared into thin air." yeonjun continued to explain as he continued to search the surrounding area for it, just in case it fell out of his head but it was actually gone.

"see, i told y'all asses there were demons in here, but y'all didn’t wanna listen now y'all getting your shit taken, and demons are singing happy birthday to (y/n) and shit, and now y'all shocked," taehyun added with a huff.

"tyun, ain't no demons in here. if there were demons in here, they would do a lot worse than steal hats and wigs and sing happy birthday, believe that. they'd be torturing us psychologically, and- wait, where the fuck is my sheep hat?" hueningkai touched the top of his head, where his costume top was missing from, and now he was heated.

"yeah, we gotta get outta here."

more shit like that continued to happen with the voice continuing to reference them by name, and reference stuff that only people that know them would know, like soobin almost running someone over once, or yeonjun’s furry suit,and then, near the end of the ride, it all came together in the worst possible way.

a single echoing voice with a thick new york accent screaming "SCUUUUM GANGGGG!" followed by a laugh in the distance that sounded a lot like jyp’s laugh.

and in that moment, all of them literally hopped off of the cart and ran towards the exit.

[werezmastarbucks]

mystic falls

word count: 2269

music: no one’s gonna love you by band of horses

honeymoon masterlist

You made a sharp turn, and Kai stretched out his neck curiously as if he was seeing the highway for the first time. His head must be going nuts now, you assumed, after his long struggle to get out, after he finally was free, only to go back again, and into exactly the same world. 

“So, it’s ‘94, right”, you said, just to say something. Kai looked at you like you were just a little stupid. 

“Yeah. Why are we going to Mystic Falls?”

“I want another car. This planet must be full of abandoned cars”.

“Why do you want another car?”

You squeezed Chevy’s reliable leather steering wheel and thought about how much you despised everything that reminded you of Damon now. The road was silent and empty, and at first sight, there wasn’t anything special about it. On your way to the town, you stopped several times just to listen to the lifeless wind, while Kai sat patiently in the car. He was suspiciously nice. He was clearly trying to behave. 

“I don’t want to be endlessly driving this piece of shit”.

“I thought you liked Chevrolets”, Kai reacted immediately. You raised your brow and looked at your clean knuckles. Those healed overnight, just like there was no trace of suffocation neither inside nor on the outside of your neck. You were the same as yesteday, again. That’s how this world worked, you figured. 

“How do you even know that?”

You stopped yourself from adding,

I’ve known you for two weeks.

“You’re my girlfriend”, he smiled like the sun itself. The sunrays really did fill the car and you looked at him, his face drowning in the shining. Then the sun got cast by a small cloud. 

“I needed to know everything about you”.

“I became your girlfriend after that one date we had?” you clarified.

“Yeah”.

No point arguing it now. It doesn’t really matter what you are to each other. Spouses. Who gives a fuck. You’re stuck here.

You thought that probably this will be the butt of a lot of pondering now. Doesn’t matter, because you’re stuck here. 

“So, they’re just scattered around, like in a zombie apocalypse?” you asked, “the cars?”

Parker fidgeted in his seat, clearly excited about sharing something about this world with a person. There was finally some ground he could stand on; he knew more than you in this. He had some sense of control. 

“Not scattered. The spell consists of several parts, it’s very complicated. One of the aspects is putting everything in order after you’ve made a copy of the world. My coven made the copy of their world at about eleven at night, so that second in this world repeats it in everything. But at that moment, obviously, in different parts of the world, all the objects were in motion. It’s day somewhere, night in another country, someone is flying in a plane, some cars are on the roads, maybe a brick is falling from the roof somewhere. So, all the things in motion are put back into their closest resting places by the spell. Like, if a car was on the road at the moment, it’s put into the nearest parking lot. Somewhere it’s still messy though. The spell obviously has a field of influence, and it’s not omnipotent”.

“So, the further from Portland, the messier things are?”

“Yeah”, Kai nodded, raiding Damon’s gloves compartment restlessly. 

“In Australia, all the cars are just like in a zombie apocalypse. But some are like that even here. In New Orleans, on the King Street, there’s a red SUV standing in the middle of the road, like it’s been abandoned. And I don’t know why it got from under the spell”. 

The witch shrugged and looked out of the window. 

“You’re holding up well”, you noticed, dispassionately. After what he’s done, you didn’t want to be cute with him anymore. Didn’t want to show any more compassion. You had to get over your own bitterness first. 

“Well, you’re with me. And I will find a way to get out. Don’t worry. We’ll think of something. You don’t pin down Kai Parker and get away with it. I’m...” he suddenly yawned, like a child, stretching out his arms and knocking on the ceiling with his fingers. You looked at how his face changed, as he performed this simple human motion. He had a hook inside of you, very deep, and you now felt it vividly. Kai somehow won you over, and you didn’t even notice. There was no use asking yourself again and again why you went with him.

“I’m real tired of this place”, he slapped his hand on your lap, “we’ll get out”.

“Don’t touch me”.

He gave you a long look.

“Are you still mad?”

“What about other things? Except cars? Electricity? Lights? Amusement parks? How is all working?”

“You can turn it off and on. If the street lights are automatic, they go on by themselves, and shut down in the morning. If you wanna have a ride on a ferris wheel, I can do that. I know how to operate virtually everything”.

“And the other times of day? You said it’s a copy of eleven at night. What about then?”

“Then the midnight comes, and it’s the tenth of May again. Well, in our time zone. In places where it was the eleventh, it’s the eleventh again and again. At midnight, everything restores back to place. Just like you”, he gestured towards your hands that were burned yesterday. “Whatever was hurt, heals, and resurrects. All the things you destroy get back up together. And work like they worked during the day. Basically everything is fully working, only, there’s nobody to operate it”.

“What if, say, at one in the morning, somebody broke a street light somewhere in... Houston?”

"There’s no one to break it now. The spell just copied the basic functioning state of things, but it neglected human interaction with them. The light that was supposed to be broken is fine here. Everything that was spoiled on that day by humans...” Kai looked out of the car almost melancholically, but it was very unlikely he acknowledged the poetry of his statement,

“Is safe from them here”.

You turned your face away not to let him see your expression. What he said somehow made you feel vulnerable to feeling, and you hummed.

“Unless you wanna go to Houston, find that exact street light and snap it, of course”.

“I don’t know where it is”, you replied philosophically.

“You have time enough to find it...”

“So, I can just walk into someone’s house and the taps will be working”.

“Yeah. You can watch TV, but it’s all the television from one day in ‘94. At seven in the morning they put on...”

“I don’t wanna know”.

“You get how it’s all very frustrating, right?”

“What about other forms of life?” you demanded. Kai kept quiet for some time as you drove into the empty streets of Mystic Falls. You stared around, barely recognizing your own hometown. 

“I don’t get it, are you mad or not?”

“What do you think, am I mad? I am mad, Kai. I am fucking mad”.

“Because you’re in prison, or because I tried to kill you?”

You moved your mouth with exasperation and didn’t manage to utter anything.

“I said I was sorry. How many times do I have to apologize? Do you realize how much it means if I apologize to you?”

“I don’t think rules of normal interaction apply, honey”, you barked sarcastically, and his face still lit with delight at hearing the term of endearment. “This is the planet where there’s nobody else but us, so you don’t have any choice, and you’ll apologize as many times as I need you to”.

“Yeah, or I could actually kill you or lock you away somewhere so that you don’t get on my nerves”, he said.

You bit your lower lip, laughing. You knew now you had leverage, and it was beautiful. No amount of cockiness would diminish the raw need he demonstrated last night. And he knew it was his own mistake. Kai’s cheekbones got sharp like rock tops.

“And be alone?”

“I can use you however I want”.

“I’ll run away from you”.

“You can’t run away from me”.

He wasn’t smiling anymore.

You stopped the car in the clearing looking like a prehistorical parking lot. There was a couple of decent looking rides. 

“You want me to freeze you out? You’re not the only one who can be manipulative, Parker. I can make you very miserable here. More miserable than you were before. You want that?”

You really had no idea what you were saying, but you made a threatening face. Kai’s eyes were wandering on it as he thought. There must have been a reason he had his eye on you in the first place. 

Instead of getting scared, he got horny.

“I won’t hurt you unless you ask me to”, he murmured. The air became dense all of a sudden.

You got out of the car, and he moved, like your own shadow, mimicking your movements almost synchronized. You slapped the door with force just to shake off the goose bumps from your skin. The street was completey silent once again. It must alter your mind to live in such silence all the time. No chatter, no voices, no tires screeching, no horns. No doors banging, no bells, only the lonely howl of the clock tower. The wind, and your own steps. Crazy.

“Which one do you want?” he asked energetically, turning to the wide spectrum of cars parked in front of a coffee shop. You did not remember Mystic Falls like that. 

“Do you know how to start a car?”

“In ninety-four, people left the keys inside”.

“Like in the movies? Above the wheel?”

He chuckled.

“Exactly”.

“Get the things from the trunk”, you said, and Kai frowned. You could feel with the back of your head he didn’t like being told what to do. 

He could turn it all into sport, of course. Let you go, hunt you down. Keep killing you, use you however he wanted. But it seemed this time he really was tired of being alone. Otherwise he wouldn’t go behing the car and open the trunk, and get out the bag filled with clothes you stole from the Salvatore mansion. 

Perhaps, for the first time in his life, Kai was slowly agreeing to comply, and to cowork with somebody. Perhaps he had a bigger plan. But it didn’t matter just now.

You walked to the wine red Dodge Ram and looked inside. It looked like the interior of the car was heated in the sun. All of a sudden, you wanted a coffee.

“Why were all cars so ugly in the nineties?” you asked, opening the door and getting into the driver’s seat. You shuffled around the wheel and found the keys were sticking out of the ignition. Someone must have stepped out of the car to have a smoke, or it was a reckless car owner who went into the shop to get a coffee and wasn’t worried about their car being nicked. But then again, it was ‘94. Life was so so much easier. As you watched Kai crawl up next to you and sigh contentedly, you asked yourself if life had been easier for him. Sometimes you forgot he was the ultimate nineties guy. 

You started the engine and looked at Damon’s blue Chevy left by you in the middle of the parking lot, right in the center. Kai didn’t even close the trunk. 

“What happens to her?”

“She stays here”, Kai said, buckling up. He raised his eyebrows at your questioning look.

“What? You’re driving like you’re trying to get back into the future”.

“You don’t like my driving, you can walk to Ohio”.

“You don’t have to be so mean about everything”, he cooed peacefully. You scoffed. 

“Why does she stay here? Aren’t things supposed to align back after midnight?”

“Nah. Only damage falls under the order spell. The things you misplace stay where you left them. Same happens with travelling. You’re an object, too. Imagine how much harder this whole thing would suck if I got away from Oregon during the day and suddenly teleported back home when the clock strikes midnight”. 

Parker smiled darkly. 

“That would be the real prison”, you thought out loud. Kai gave you a vague look.

“No, you can take things with you. But the window you break restores back the next day... which is the same day”.

“And what about animals? No birds, no cats?”

“No. Only the smallest fellas here. You wouldn’t be able to breathe without them and... well, you need the smallest microbes”.

“So, if I cut myself on rusty iron, it will get infected”.

“Yeah. But you won’t suffer long, you’ll be fine at night”.

You hummed.

You looked into the back seat, guiding the wheel with one hand. Suddenly, driving became so easy when you knew there was nobody to run over, or witness your disgraceful style. Kai and his backseat driver opinions didn’t matter. You pulled your belly bag onto your knees and took out your phone, still alive.

“Good news, I have the charger for my phone”, you said. The simplistic, flowerless yet streets of the old Mystic Falls were sliding by idly. You sped up a little, listening to satisfying Ram roar. 

“Bad news, I can’t connect it to the car radio, because the iPhones are not there yet, and bluetooth...”

You looked at Kai.

“Was it invented in 1999 or 2000?”

“Are you asking me? I’ve spent eighteen years locked away”.

“But you learnt about the world pretty quickly though. I know you’re very savvy in computer shit”.

“I’m gonna miss that”, Parker muttered, looking forwards on the road in front of you. Although he knew this world, and the things in it, he agreed on going back the whole way to look for an escape route. Maybe he just didn’t care anymore, or was indulging you for the sake of it; he agreed to go look for ‘something’. This something had no shape or size, and you didn’t know how it worked. Maybe he just wanted to move to create an illusion of progress. All he knew was that he wanted to get out of here to gut Damon.

[lux-i-fer]

Believer of Faith and Mortality

Ao3 link

Synopsis: Lucifer and Chloe's victim shouldn't be alive, but the fact that he's currently alive and giving a statement says otherwise. When more and more miracle cases begin popping up, Lucifer believes that their lives aren't being spared out of the goodness of his Father's heart. The knock at the door only proves his theory.

Rating: M

Notes: HAHA HEYYYY! Guess who got the chapter out in under a year?? My most sincere apologies that this fic has been updating so slowly, I am just at that time in my life where everything requires my attention all at once and all the time. Never fear, I have not forgotten about this fic ;) This is unbetaed because in the year of our lord 2021, I have lost all hope in producing properly edited work.

Chapter Number: 6

For a few heavy seconds, the entire world shrank down to fit solely into Lucifer’s palm. The silence was almost suffocating as Amenadiel, Lucifer, and John stared at the silver phlegm dripping from Lucifer’s outstretched hand. Even outside of the harsh California sunlight, it still looked metallic and even glimmered like the chrome finishings on his Corvette. John found it almost blinding to look at directly, but there was a nagging feeling inside of him that demanded that he continue to look. The first time he’d seen it on Lucifer’s handkerchief, he’d only gotten a mere glance before Lucifer had hurriedly tucked it out of sight. Perhaps for him it was also supposed to be out of mind, but not for John. John was transfixed.

Looking at it now, he realized that it wasn’t really silver colored. Even though he never tore his eyes from it, it seemed to shift to a different color at the blink of an eye, changing so fast that it blurred together into one solid gray mass. And he found that it wasn't so much as metallic as it was almost lit by a soft inner light. John leaned forward, curious to see if there truly was something there or if he was imagining it.

A hand caught his shoulder and then the rest of the world seemed to snap back into focus. John blinked and when he opened his eyes, Amenadiel stood between him and Lucifer.

“Did you hear anything I just said to you?” he asked. There was a heavy set of wrinkles above his brow that hadn’t been there at the start of their visit.

John blinked again. He felt a little dazed, and found that he couldn’t quite focus in on the rest of Amenadiel’s face. “No?” His voice came out slow and slurred.

Amenadiel frowned. “Okay, why don’t you--” he walked the both of them backwards out of the kitchen until the backs of John’s legs knocked against the edge of a chair, “sit down.”

John did as he was told and then put his head in his hands. He had a roaring headache.

“So,” he heard Amenadiel say. “As I said before, will someone please tell me what is going on?”

“Apparently zombies,” John muttered, massaging the space between his eyes.

“Well, you’re not actual zombies,” Lucifer corrected. “You’re more...undead than anything. If I didn’t know better I’d say that you lot were resurrected, but our Father does not lower himself to dabble in those sorts of miracles anymore.” Even with his eyes closed, John could practically feel the eye roll in his voice.

“No, I meant how long has this been going on.” John looked up to find Amenadiel gesturing to the silver liquid that Lucifer was trying in vain to mop up with his handkerchief.

Lucifer shook his head. “Not long. Just today. Surely it’s nothing.”

Amenadiel looked to John for confirmation.

John shrugged. “I’ve only been here a day, but I guess it lines up? He coughed some of it up on our way here.”

Amenadiel nodded solemnly, while Lucifer shot him a dirty look, the unspoken accusation of traitor hanging in the air. “It’s not that big a deal,” he sniffed. “Whatever it is, surely it’ll sort itself out. There’s no need to coddle me, Amenadiel, my mortality stint ended ages ago.”

John stilled. “Your what?”

Lucifer waved him off, flicking a few silver droplets in his direction. One managed to hit Amenadiel in the chest and his face crumpled up in disgust. “Luci, do everyone else a favor and wash your hands. For all we know this could be contagious.”

John silently agreed. As if the headache wasn’t already making him nauseous, now he was picturing Lucifer as some sort of supernatural Typhoid Mary. Even though he’d seen some pretty nasty stuff during his time as a beat cop, John had always been a bit of a hypochondriac. Not in any serious sense, but realizing that Lucifer could potentially be hacking up the divine equivalent of a ball of mucus and phlegm definitely made his stomach twist.

Lucifer scoffed, but surprisingly listened to his brother. John sent a silent thanks to God, but stopped halfway through his prayer when he realized that he just may be better off directing it at Amenadiel instead. If Lucifer was to be believed, which John still had a healthy amount of skepticism for, Nietzsche had been right. In all the ways that mattered, God was as good as dead. Between the headache and the whole coming back to life thing, John really didn’t want to unpack that existential crisis right now.

“Is that a thing?” he asked instead. “Can you guys get the celestial flu or something?”

Lucifer sighed. “Don’t be silly, Jonathan. Angels can’t get sick.”

“Well clearly you are, so that can’t be entirely true.”

“John has a point, Luci. Whatever this is, it shouldn’t be happening.” Amenadiel turned to John. “And whatever is going on with souls crossing back over the threshold shouldn’t be happening either. It would be foolish to assume that these two events coinciding is a mere coincidence. I’d like to hear more about how you got back to Earth, John. I have a feeling that Luci has omitted some key details.”

At that, Lucifer tightened his hand around his glass of whiskey. At some point he’d poured himself glass number four, making John certain that he would be DD’ing the Devil himself back to Chloe’s apartment later.

“I don’t think I’m the best one to ask about details.” The image of Lucifer’s wrist covered in “souvenirs” flashed through John’s mind. “If anything, we were coming to you for some answers. All I know is that one second I’m in Limbo with this jackass,” he jerked a thumb in Lucifer’s direction, “and the next my daughter is telling me that I’ve been dead for nearly twenty years.”

“Limbo?” Amenadiel asked incredulously. “What ever were you doing there? Human souls are not supposed to go there.”

“Well I did. Lucifer told me that others go there too.”

Amenadiel looked at Lucifer.

“Times have changed, brother. Humans have more fight in them now, and Azrael has a shorter temper than she used to. Humans still condemn themselves to their respective eternities, but if they are particularly wily and combative when Azrael sees them off, sometimes she doesn’t see the job through. Usually they make it where they need to go without her guidance, but occasionally they do not. Those who don’t end up in Limbo.” Lucifer inclined his head in John’s direction, as if to give an example.

Amenadiel didn’t look convinced. “How could John have been in Limbo if he recalls seeing you? How are you certain that it wasn’t Hell?”

“It wasn’t Hell,” Lucifer said sharply, catching both Amenadiel and John off guard. John wasn’t sure what had just happened, but whatever Amenadiel had implied was obviously a touchy subject.

Lucifer stared at them for a moment, dark eyes unblinking and tracking their reactions like a predator. Then he sighed, and his shoulders relaxed, as if a great weight had dragged them down. His fingers worried his cufflinks again.

“Hell isn’t my only domain. Technically Dad also cursed me with that Dad-forsaken wasteland, but I hardly visited. It was a nice getaway when Hell became too much to bear, but it was just as undesirable in different ways.” Lucifer paused then. His eyes had grown distant, and his jaw was set. His hands flitted back to his glass.

“Do you remember our fallen brethren?” he said, his voice small.

Amenadiel’s brow furrowed at the subject change. “Of course, Luci.”

Lucifer continued to stare into his glass. “I wasn’t the only one who changed after I Fell. Our siblings, the ones that eventually fell too, they burned just as I did. After I had managed to pull myself out of the Lake of Fire, I gave the ones whose minds hadn’t completely shattered during the process positions within my court. They were, after all, family.” He chuckled humorlessly.

“In light of my recent sins, nepotism seemed like the least of my concerns at that point. I was correct, to some degree. Over time, most of the fallen grew twisted and corrupted by sin and they became a new breed of demon--an archduke-- but there were others who never recovered from the Fall. Something within them had broken. They weren’t quite demons and they certainly were not angels, either. They were, for lack of better description, mutilated. Inside and out. Their minds were fractured and their bodies, well--”

Lucifer’s form contorted like a tv glitch. Where his face should have been was replaced with something scarred and horrifying. It vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, but it didn’t matter because John had seen. Lucifer’s regular face was back, but John saw it with new clarity. Even before, he would freely admit that Lucifer was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, but it was a different beauty now. Now the sculpted angles of his face looked cruel and alien.

He didn’t think there were words to describe the primal sense of fear he had felt upon seeing it. It was like an echo of the morning’s conversation, when he’d discovered the name of the angel that had guided him through Limbo. He wanted to bolt like a spooked horse and run and run until he was certain that Lucifer would never find him. John’s heart raced, but his fear kept him rooted in his chair. He knew he should calm down. He had to calm down. His head felt like it was going to explode. John groaned and put his head back in his hands.

“Jonathan.”

John’s head snapped back up, bringing a wave of dizziness along with it. His heart seized when he realized that Lucifer was staring straight at him. The afterimage of his burned face lingered in John’s mind’s eye, and it was almost impossible for him to look at Lucifer at all.

“Do not go breaking on me now. The Detective will be very upset with me if you do.” His tone was blasé, but John saw a glint of uncertainty in his eye. Was Lucifer upset by his reaction? Why would the Devil even feel that way? John searched his shark-eyes for an answer.

Shockingly, Lucifer was the one to look away first. He returned his attention to his glass for a second time before continuing his explanation.

“The other fallen--the ones driven mad by the Fall-- were little more than rabid dogs, and they had developed an insatiable hunger for divine flesh. I suppose in human terms you would say they became cannibals, but such a human concept does not do their transformation justice. They were truly beastly, mere husks of angels and mutated beyond any demon.” John shuddered as he remembered the feeling of claws tracing along his cheek. Beastly indeed.

“So I locked them up,” Lucifer proclaimed. “I had the archdukes assist me in rounding them up and throwing them into Limbo. There they could live freely, on a separate plane away from Heaven and Hell, and out of my hair. I would only visit occasionally, like I said, for peace and quiet and to make sure that they were behaving.”

The room dissolved into silence once again. Amenadiel seemed to still be processing the information, and John was trying his best not to pass out from pain or fear. He still wasn’t sure which would eventually win out. He supposed by the way his skull felt like it was getting a forced lobotomy he would have to say it was going to be the pain.

Amenadiel finally cleared his throat. “So if I understand you correctly, you have been completely aware that these...creatures have been running amuck in Limbo, and yet you continue to let them roam, even though they're torturing innocent souls?”

In an instant, Lucifer slammed his hands onto the counter. John flinched as the sound ricocheted through his head like a massive bell. Amenadiel stood, unflinching, his face contorted into a stony mask. Lucifer’s eyes blazed and his lips curled back into a snarl. In that moment he looked every bit of the razor-sharp angel that had plucked John from the clutches of his cannibalistic siblings.

“Do not twist my words, Amenadiel, and do not criticize that which you do not know. I made the best of a bad hand. I dredged the land for lost souls as often as I could, but there was only so much I could do. And make no mistake, not all of the souls I found were innocent. I spared rapists and murderers from the clutches of our deranged siblings just as often as I pulled out martyred cops and saints. They all got the justice they deserved, and I carried it out like a good little son.”

At that, Lucifer turned on his heel and busied himself with something on the other side of the kitchen. Amenadiel simply watched his brother sulk and sighed heavily. “Luci,” he said to the Devil sulking in the kitchen. “I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to pin the blame on you. I jumped to conclusions.”

Lucifer turned back to face them, face drained of any prior anger. “Damn right you did.”

“But,” Amenadiel continued, pointing a finger at Lucifer. “My initial point still stands. It’s obvious that these creatures are dangerous, and yet they roam freely in Limbo. The last interaction you had with John was in the presence of these creatures. Isn’t there a possibility that your illness and John’s return to Earth are linked? They feed on the divine, and you said it yourself that none of the other resurrections occurred more than a day following their initial death.”

“That’s just it,” John chimed in. “Technically, it’s been twenty-or-so years since I saw Lucifer in Limbo. It may have only felt like a couple hours for me, but I imagine for him…” He waved his hand in lieu of finishing his thought.

“Yes, Jonathan is correct. In fact, I forgot about your existence entirely until you started threatening me over breakfast this morning.” Lucifer clapped his hands together. “At any rate, I think we can surmise that whatever this silver nonsense is, it is most certainly a fluke. If these events were truly connected then I would have gotten ill two decades ago. Nothing to do with Johnathan. Nothing to worry about. The resurrections on the other hand...” he shrugged.

“I don’t think we should discount the idea,” John cut in again. “Amenadiel’s right, it’s stupid to overlook the possibility. For now, I suppose we can put a pin in it, but it shouldn’t be off the table completely.”

Lucifer shot him an annoyed look. “Fine, whatever. Gang up on me, then.”

“Luci, we’re trying to help,” Amenadiel chided. Lucifer just rolled his eyes.

“The other bodies reeked of Heaven,” he started again, changing the subject. “I don’t know why or how, but they do, and it’s positively unbearable.”

John didn’t know Heaven even had a smell, but Amenadiel nodded like he understood. “I don’t have an answer or even an idea of how to explain that facet of this mystery. I would have to go to the Silver City to find out any more information.”

Lucifer considered Amenadiel’s proposition for a moment. He finished off the rest of his drink and glanced around the room. “Well, what are you waiting for?” he asked. “We’re in a time crunch, the sooner the better!” Dropping his empty glass into the sink, Lucifer swept out of the kitchen and towards the door. He turned back to face John and Amenadiel, a hand poised on the door handle. “Brother, I’ll be expecting your answer shortly.” Then he gestured to John. “Are you coming?”

John just sighed and hauled himself out of the chair. It took some effort to get his bearings, and when he finally did he stuck out his hand for Amenadiel to shake once more. Amenadiel inclined his head towards John and offered him a genuine smile.

“It was very nice to meet you, John Decker. Chloe speaks very highly of you. I can see now that her stories ring truthfully. You're a good man.”

John returned the smile, wincing as the pain in his head worsened with the movement. “Well I don’t know about that, but thank you. It was nice to meet you too.”

Before John could say anything else, Amenadiel dropped his hand and simply disappeared into thin air. John stared stupidly at the spot the angel had been occupying just a few moments before. He wasn’t sure what just happened, but at this point, he wasn’t sure he really wanted to find out.

Lucifer made an impatient sound from his place at the door. “Jonathan, you’re dallying. Are you going to stare off into space for the entire day?”

John shook himself and started towards the door. “Yeah, yeah, calm down I’m coming.”

When they reached the parking lot, John ignored the pain in his head and made a b-line for the driver’s side door, just barely sliding his body between it and Lucifer’s hand reaching for the handle.

“Give me your keys,” he said, making sure to use his no-bullshit cop voice.

“No.” Lucifer tried to wiggle his way around John, but John stood firm.

“You just drank four glasses of hard alcohol, I’m not letting you drive drunk through downtown LA.” Lucifer only continued to wiggle and try to squirm his way around John. Fuck, did he ever stop moving? John caught Lucifer’s arm as he tried to reach for something in the car. “Seriously, Lucifer, stop. I don’t care that you’re the Devil, you’re not driving.”

As weird as it felt to say that, there was truth in John’s words. His fear over seeing Lucifer’s other face had almost entirely dissipated.

“I’m not intoxicated, I have a supernatural metabolism!” He wiggled his arm out of John’s grasp and leaned around him to grab whatever it was that he had been trying to get from the car. When he found it, Lucifer handed the mystery item to John. It was a breathalyzer. Police issued. Most likely Chloe’s, John thought. When John did nothing with it, Lucifer pushed it and the hand holding it to John’s chest.

“Test me,” he said. “If I blow under the legal limit, I drive. If I blow over, which I won’t, you can drive. Deal?”

John sighed. He knew Lucifer was trying to compromise, but it didn’t change the fact that John’s patience had been steadily declining since Lucifer had decided to drag him all over the city. “Fine,” he said, exasperated and desperately wishing for somewhere to lie down.

He quickly set up the breathalyzer, his muscle memory taking over for him. Through some small miracle, Lucifer took the test without complaint. John had expected the meter to read at least an .09, but he was dumbfounded when he saw the 0.00 staring back at him.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled. He gave the breathalyzer a little shake just to make sure it had gotten the right reading. The numbers remained unchanged.

Lucifer smirked. “Can we get on with things, then?”

On a day when John’s head wasn’t killing him, he would have asked for a retest, just to ensure that Lucifer hadn’t somehow rigged it in his favor. But John was exhausted and it was almost impossible to fake something like a breathalyzer, especially one that he himself had administered, so he decided to just let it slide. After all, it wasn’t like he was in any better condition to drive.

Wordlessly, John stepped out of the way and climbed into the passenger seat. Lucifer gave a victorious whoop and threw himself into the car. Another twinge of pain drilled through John’s skull and he winced away from his companion.

Now that he could take a moment to just breathe, John could finally acknowledge that he didn’t feel like himself. He felt feverish. Or high. He’d never been high to know what that felt like though. His forehead felt like it was about to split open like an egg, and he brought a hand up to touch it, just to make sure that no cracks had started to form. When he felt nothing, he squeezed his eyes shut and flopped back against the seat, wondering why Lucifer hadn’t driven off yet.

“Lucifer, why aren’t we moving?” he muttered, politeness thrown by the wayside.

“Because you’re doing a rather dramatic imitation of a dying raccoon. I don’t know much about humans, but I know enough to recognize that this isn’t normal behavior.” John must be hallucinating because Lucifer’s voice almost sounded caring. He told him as such.

Lucifer scoffed and finally shifted the car into gear. They drove in silence for about ten minutes before he spoke again. “It is possible that your body isn’t as stable as we initially thought.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s either that or your soul is unstable. Either way, something, besides the obvious, is not right. I have a feeling this headache of yours has been triggered by some imbalance. Whether that imbalance is in your mind, body, soul, or if my Father has decided to restitch the fabric of the universe, I cannot say for certain. The easiest way to solve it would be to return you back to your prior state.”

“My prior state, as in dead, right?”

Lucifer hummed, a nonanswer. That was all John needed to know that he’d been correct.

“Hey, please tell me we’re going back to Chloe’s?” he said, changing the subject. “It would really make her upset if we’re not there when she gets off work.”

“Ah, actually we won’t beat the Detective home.”

John sat straight up, whipping his head towards Lucifer. “What do you mean we’re not making it home before Chloe?”

Lucifer waved his hand absently. “Well you’ve lived in LA, you know how the traffic can be. Plus, we wasted more time than I had anticipated at Amenadiel’s.”

John sputtered and checked his watch. “But it’s like four in the afternoon. Even with traffic it won’t take us that long to get to her apartment, and the LAPD doesn’t usually let cops off until five at the earliest.”

“And you’d be correct; however, we’re not going to the Detective’s apartment straight away.”

“Where could we possibly be going?” John threw his hands up in the air because the alternative was to wrap them around Lucifer’s throat to choke some sense into him.

“I planned on stopping to grab something to eat, since I’m famished and surely you are too, considering we skipped lunch and barely had breakfast. I figured if we aren’t going to beat the Detective home we might as well show up with something to soften the blow. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission, you know.”

Lucifer shrugged. “Besides, it’s likely that she won’t be in a good mood anyways. I missed a call from her around noon, and about an hour ago she texted me saying that she wasn’t feeling well and was thinking about taking off of work early.”

“Did you call her back?” John asked.

“Call who back?”

John stared at him, bewildered. “Chloe. You said she tried to call you. Is she okay?” John’s outrage had been building slowly over the course of the day, but it had skyrocketed more in the last ten minutes than it had in the past few hours. He’d kept himself in check so far, but he wasn’t sure if he could hold it back if Lucifer insisted on being this much of an idiot.

“Oh. No, I didn’t return her call. I’m sure she’s fine, though.”

Something in John’s chest shifted. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he exploded. “First, she tells you not to leave the house, and the first thing you do is immediately go against her wishes. Then, you don’t even have the audacity to return her phone call? You’re acting like such an asshole. I love Chloe and I respect her, but I don’t know what she sees in you. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t deserve her.”

Lucifer stilled. His fingers stopped on the steering wheel mid-drum, and if not for the wind whipping at his clothes, John would have thought that he was made of stone. A drop of fear slid down John’s spine as the weight of his actions settled into his bones. He may have gotten over the initial shock of seeing Lucifer’s true face, but that still didn’t change the fact that he’d just screamed at the Devil. No, not even that, he’d just screamed at Chloe’s boyfriend. Partner. Whatever he was. Someone important to her.

But just because Chloe cares for him didn’t mean that he didn’t deserve it , a voice whispered in the back of his head.

For a moment, John thought Lucifer wasn’t going to respond, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a poisonous smirk.

“You know, the Detective always told me that you were a soft spoken man,” Lucifer said.

John clenched his jaw at the perceived taunt. He turned to fully face Lucifer to give him another piece of his mind, but stopped mid-breath when he saw his face. Lucifer was purposely not looking John’s way, gaze fixed on the road ahead of them. He wasn’t really looking at the road, though, John thought. Even with half of his face obscured, John could tell that he was looking past it and into some distant memory instead, the same soft smile he’d given Chloe the night before playing across his lips. It was an abrupt change from how he’d been just a minute before: flippant, callous, ancient.

John deflated instantly. “I’m under a lot of stress right now,” he replied dumbly. It was all he could think to say.

Lucifer drove on silently. He still did not look John’s way.

“I know being stressed is no excuse for how short I’ve been with you today, but this is a lot for me to take in. I was never the atheist that Chloe turned out to be, but I was never truly a believer either. God, Heaven, you, it’s overwhelming. Not only that but Chloe--” John’s voice broke when he pictured his little girl as the twenty-something he left behind. He cleared his throat, trying to beat down the rising wave of emotion. “I didn’t get to help her move into her first apartment, I didn’t get to give her away at her wedding, I’ve never even gotten to hold my granddaughter,” he said quietly. “She grew up without me and I’m angry with myself for letting it happen. Seeing you with her, you being there for her when I couldn’t, it’s hard.”

That was the ugly feeling that had been sitting in John’s chest all day. That was the thing that couldn’t be packed away into a neat, little mental box to be dealt with at a later date. No matter how many times he’d tried to compartmentalize it, it always came back with full force. He knew it was the reason he was acting so caustically towards Lucifer, but it was as if his time in Limbo had tainted him in some way. It was almost as if simply brushing against those sinful beasts had made him into one too, teeming with new and nasty habits. The very thought left an equally nasty taste in his mouth.

He was used to dealing with jealousy. Penny had groupies and superfans just like any other actress of her day, and it had never bothered him before. He’d always trusted her. Now he found himself unable to bury the jealousy like he had before his death. It was embarrassing to admit. John had never wanted to be one of those overbearing and overprotective fathers.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, Lucifer navigating them through the maze of LA highways, and John lost in thought. The car coasted along an exit ramp, and as they entered back into the city, Lucifer broke the silence.

“My Father was not the kind of father that you were--that you are,” he amended. “He wasn’t kind or nurturing or any of those things. In fact, He was quite harsh with my siblings and me at times. The last conversation we had was the shouting match that eventually got me condemned to Hell.”

John wasn’t sure where Lucifer was going with his anecdote, but he remained silent, just as the other man had when he’d vented out his own feelings.

“Even in the midst of my anger, even when I would scream my throat raw yelling obscenities at Him from down below, some part of me still loved Him and wanted Him to love me in return. I hated that part of myself for centuries. He was my punisher and my jailer, and yet, I still couldn’t rid myself of the longing to be recognized as His son.

“You and the Detective don’t have that kind of relationship, obviously, but I say all of this so that you’ll understand and believe me when I say that the Detective loves you very much. There are very few things that you could do as a parent to make her stop caring for you. Not even death could sever her heart from yours. She has made her peace with your passing, and for both her sake and yours, Jonathan, you should too. If you don’t, your guilt will condemn you to Hell. That’s how the system works; humans choose their own fate, no Devilish temptation required.”

Lucifer grimaced at his poor attempt at a joke. Then, he glanced over at John, as if to gauge his reaction to something. “Amenadiel was correct; you’re a good man and a good father,” he said, eyes drifting back to the road. “You don’t deserve the torment that awaits you there.”

His words echoed in John’s mind. You don’t deserve the torment that awaits you there.

“I’m sorry that I said you don’t deserve Chloe. That was wrong of me,” John said. “It’s not up for me to decide.”

Lucifer made some noncommittal noise.

“We got off on the wrong foot, and I genuinely want to try and get to know you properly.” John hesitated. “If you’ll let me,” he added almost too quietly to be heard over the wind.

Lucifer sighed his back-breaking sigh. “I suppose we can start over.”

At his affirmation, the ugly feeling in his chest subsided. “Good,” he nodded. “I’m glad.”

“But,” Lucifer stuck a finger up in the air, as if preparing to give another monologue. “Just because we’re “starting over” doesn’t mean that I’ll completely stop tormenting you, Jonathan. You’re far too entertaining when your brain is on the verge of melting.”

Lucifer’s tone was light and any malice it may have contained before had been replaced by a vibrant playfulness. John couldn’t fight back the smile on his face.

“Well as Chloe’s father, it is my job to give you a hard time, so I’ve got some tormenting of my own to do too.”

Lucifer chuckled. “I’m the Devil, darling. I’d love to see you try to get under my skin.”

“I’ve got a few cards up my sleeve,” John said. “You never know what might happen.”

Lucifer didn’t respond to that, but a sly smile had plastered itself to his face.

He guided the Corvette down a maze of one-ways, and five minutes later, they slowed to a stop and parked on a quiet street. As John took in the sun-bleached storefronts and crumbling fire escapes, he thought nothing of their location. It was only when he caught sight of a beat up dirt green sign boasting Marisol’s Flower Arrangements that John realized where they were.

“I died at a corner store about a block from here,” he said numbly, all traces of playful teasing draining away. They’d parked too far down the block for John to properly see the store, but he didn’t need a visual, the image of it was burned in his memory.

Lucifer got out of the car. “I know. I parked a block away for a reason. The Detective always says that you shouldn’t let victims see their crime scenes unless they specifically ask to. Something to do with shock or trauma.”

“So why bring us here at all?” John asked, though he already knew the answer. He was just surprised that Chloe still came here after everything that had happened with the shooting.

“Like I said, the Detective doesn’t hate you,” Lucifer replied with a knowing look. He tossed John the car keys. “I’ll be back shortly.”

Lucifer was true to his word, returning only ten minutes later with a takeout bag. When he got back in the car, he traded it for his keys. As they drove back through the city, John tried his best to ignore the bag on his lap. The heat from the food radiated through the cheap paper and into his skin like a persistent house cat kneading at his lap. He hated to think what would happen when he opened the bag. These sandwiches hadn’t just been Chloe’s favorite, once they were his favorite too. He feared that when he would eventually unwrap the foil, he wouldn’t be able to stomach them.

Secretly, John was glad that Lucifer hadn’t expected him to walk into that corner store. He was almost certain if he had, he would have ended up on the tile floor retching at the smell of grease and sweat. He’d choked on that scent as he laid with a bullet in his chest. He could only hope that he wouldn’t choke on the food when it came time to eat it.

John thought back to a time when he had gagged on black tar and maggots instead of grease and blood. He swallowed hard; an echo of oil slid down the back of his throat. Or maybe it was crawling back up. Maybe John would wake the next morning and find that whatever horrors he’d tasted in Limbo were festering inside of him like he was John Hurt in Alien . He supposed if that were true, then it was only a matter of time before it tore through his chest. John shuddered. He absentmindedly touched the space over his heart, as if it too was going to burst out of his chest.

The rest of the drive back to Chloe’s apartment was silent, and neither he nor Lucifer seemed to mind. For John, it was even a welcome reprieve from the madness that was his resurrection and a quiet moment before the inevitable emotional explosion waiting for them at the apartment.

His suspicions were only confirmed when the Corvette pulled into the parking lot. Chloe already had the door open and was standing in the doorframe with her arms crossed. He couldn’t completely make out her features from where they were parked, but John was sure when they got close enough her brows would be scrunched up in an exact replica of Penny’s when she was upset.

Lucifer killed the engine and jumped out of the car. His hands immediately flitted to his cufflinks and then on to smoothing invisible lines in his jacket. At least he was smart enough to be a little nervous, John thought.

“Detective!” Lucifer said when they got to the door. “We bought dinner!”

Chloe’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “What happened to not leaving the apartment?” she demanded.

Lucifer snatched the takeout bag from John’s grasp and held it up as if it explained everything. By the way her eye twitched, Chloe was not impressed.

“Is that the only place you went?” she demanded again.

Lucifer thrust the takeout bag back into John’s hands and flashed her a nervous smile.

“No,” John said flatly.

“Lucifer!”

Lucifer only flapped his hands and slipped past Chloe into the apartment. “It was just to see Linda and Amenadiel!” he called over his shoulder.

Chloe took a deep breath. She sagged against the doorframe, her shoulders tight with tension. “Dad, wherever he dragged you to, I’m sorry. It’s my fault for thinking that Lucifer could stay still and listen for more than a half hour.” She said the last bit a little louder, casting her gaze over her shoulder and making sure the man in question had heard them.

“It’s fine, monkey,” John said, drawing her attention back. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to keep us here. I shouldn’t have gone along with it.”

Finally, Chloe pushed herself off of the doorframe and allowed him to pass. “You shouldn’t have even had to argue to stay here,” she said as he walked past her. Even with his back to her, John could tell she was staring daggers at Lucifer while he busied himself with setting the table.

Just like he had that morning before Chloe had gone to work, John felt out of his element. It was easier for him to interact with Lucifer and Chloe separately. They represented vastly different periods of his life, or death, in Lucifer’s case. With them separated from each other, John could almost pretend that he was still living a normal life. When he was with Chloe, he could ignore his death. When he was with Lucifer, John could accept it head-on. But when they were together, it was difficult. He felt every inch the man lost in time when he saw them together.

All of these thoughts ran through John’s head in under a few seconds, but the existential discomfort of it all made it feel like an eternity.

“Here, I’ll take that from you, Dad,” Chloe said, appearing at his shoulder.

Mechanically, he handed the takeout bag to her, and then went to hang his borrowed jacket back on the hook. Task complete, John turned back to the table, still unsure what he should be doing. He watched Chloe open the bag, as if ready to divvy up their early dinner, and then stop. Her head snapped up to look across the table where Lucifer was pouring their drinks.

“It’s been a stressful two days, I knew you would like to have them,” he said, not looking up.

Lucifer finished filling the third glass in silence. When Chloe still hadn’t responded, he finally met her gaze. John didn’t know what he found there, her back was still to him, but Lucifer’s shoulders hunched.

“Did I get it wrong?” he asked, seemingly folding in on himself in a way that John didn’t know was possible.

“No. You didn’t. Thank you,” she replied softly. “But did you--?”

“No!” Lucifer waved his hand vehemently. “He stayed in the Corvette.”

Chloe nodded, and it was as if that motion cued all the others back to normal. She began setting their food onto plates, and Lucifer fluttered back into the kitchen as if nothing had happened. Slowly, John walked up to the table.

“Can I help with anything?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chloe said, balling up the empty takeout bag, “everything’s already done. Just take a seat.”

He reluctantly did as he was told. He stared at his foil-wrapped sandwich until Lucifer and Chloe sat across from him a moment later. The placement reminded him a bit like an interrogation. In some sense, John thought, perhaps it was. He could tell that Chloe had bitten her tongue about them disobeying her orders today. Surely, it wouldn’t be long before she started fishing for details.

“So,” Chloe began, unwrapping her sandwich. “You went to see Linda and Amenadiel.”

Lucifer took a long sip of wine. “Yes, not that they were any help.”

“Lucifer wanted to look for answers,” John put in, trying to be helpful.

Chloe glanced between the two of them. “What kind of answers?”

“Answers that would help us figure out what in Dad’s name is going on, of course,” Lucifer said.

She raised an eyebrow. “And? What did you find out?”

John was thankful when Lucifer launched into a recount of the day's activities. He loved Chloe, but he simply hadn’t been in the mood to talk since they’d picked up dinner. Speaking of dinner, he glanced down at his untouched sandwich. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to eat, it was just that he was afraid of what would happen when he did. He knew he was going to have to eat it eventually, or else Chloe would start to get suspicious. The last thing John wanted to do was cause her any more stress.

He forced himself to unwrap his sandwich. Chloe was busy listening to Lucifer, but her eyes were fixed on John the moment he’d begun to remove the foil. With her watching, there was little he could do besides take a bite. Much to his relief, he did not taste tar or ash. It tasted the same as he remembered--rich, greasy, fattening. Even still, it turned his stomach, John realized with dismay.

Under Chloe’s watchful eye, he fought through the nausea and forced down another bite. The ends of her mouth quirked up in the ghost of a smile. Seemingly satisfied with what she saw, Chloe turned back to Lucifer.

It hit him that for her, this was the first time in roughly two decades that they were sharing these sandwiches. In that moment, it was as if their lives had simply picked up from where they’d left off. Had John never been shot, this was what he would have done that night. Instead of choking on his own blood, he would have been up late at the kitchen table, eating these exact sandwiches with Chloe, and then sending her quietly off to bed afterwards.

John finished his sandwich. His stomach twisted itself into new shapes each time he swallowed, but he refused to ruin this for his daughter. She needed this as much as he’d needed to tell her that bedtime story the previous night.

To fend off the overwhelming nausea, he found himself laser-focused on Lucifer’s tale. That was when he noticed the omissions. Before, he hadn’t paid Lucifer’s storytelling any mind. He had been dealing with his own inner turmoil about Chloe and his untimely demise. Now that he had nothing else to do but pay attention, John began to notice the discrepancies.

Lucifer told Chloe most of what they’d experienced that day, with a few key cut corners. He neglected to tell her about Limbo and his mysterious cough. At first, John thought he was avoiding those topics because Chloe didn’t know the truth about who Lucifer really was, but that theory was quickly derailed when she didn’t blink an eye at Amenadiel searching Heaven for clues about their “resurrection problem.”

John didn’t know why he didn’t correct Lucifer. It would have been so easy to mention a detail he’d left out and watch the fallout unfold. Yet, he sat in silence, only adding in an affirmative sounding hum when Lucifer’s tale required it.

He just wanted to see where Lucifer went with it, he told himself. Lucifer had to have a reason he was leaving out key details, but then again, did he? If John was being entirely honest, even though they were on better terms now, he didn’t really know who Lucifer was at all. There was no telling whether or not he would be completely transparent with Chloe. In fact, if their detour around LA was anything to go by, Lucifer seemed to skirt around the truth and bend the rules quite often.

If Lucifer still refused to tell Chloe about Limbo and the cough by the time the night ended, John resolved that he would tell her himself. Chloe was his top priority, she deserved to know the truth, he finally decided. Plus, was it not John’s story to tell anyways? After all, he’d been the one who died and ended up there in the first place.

As Lucifer’s story drew to a close, John grew more and more convinced that he would have to be the one to tell Chloe about Limbo. But then, Lucifer’s story stopped abruptly. He cleared his throat once. Twice. Then he coughed. It sounded wet and thick like it had at Amenadiel’s, except this time it sounded deeper. It was as if Lucifer was a normal human smoker, and there was tar stuck to the bottom of his lungs.

Lucifer quickly pressed a napkin to his lips, but the coughs continued until he was almost gagging.

Chloe worriedly patted his back. “Are you okay?”

John opened his mouth to confess to Chloe that, no, her partner was not, and that he’d been like this all day, but Lucifer beat him to the punch.

“Fine,” Lucifer muttered between coughs. He coughed a few more times before it finally petered out, leaving Lucifer weepy-eyed and with an undoubtedly sore throat. He strategically wiped his mouth with a clean corner of the napkin before folding it up and out of Chloe’s sight. There wasn’t a speck of silver to be seen.

“What was that all about?” she asked, handing Lucifer his wine to wash down the remaining cough.

He shook his head, taking down the rest of the wine like a shot. “Not a clue.”

John shot a glare in his direction, and Lucifer tactfully ignored it.

Chloe stared at Lucifer for a few more seconds. When she found what she had been searching for, she stood and gathered up her dishes. “Maybe those cigarettes are finally catching up to you,” she chuckled over her shoulder as she headed to the sink.

“Darling, we both know my mortality stint ended ages ago,” Lucifer replied, voice scratchy. It was a pathetic recreation of the exact phrase he’d said to Amenadiel just hours before.

Chloe snorted. “Sure.”

John waited until she turned on the tap before he leaned across the table.

“You have to tell Chloe about everything that’s going on, not just the parts that you like or understand,” he whispered fiercely.

“That will only cause unnecessary worry for the Detective,” Lucifer whispered back. He unfolded the napkin and tilted it enough for the silver liquid inside to catch the light. “This is not something that she needs to worry about right now.”

“Lucifer, come on!” He gestured to the napkin. “You’re literally coughing up some unidentified substance. You said it yourself, you’re immortal. So why is this happening now?”

Lucifer’s jaw clenched. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t care what you think you are, Chloe deserves to know.”

The tap shut off.

John glanced over to make sure that Chloe was still busy at the sink. When she was, he turned back to Lucifer.

“Tell Chloe, or I will, Lucifer.”

Lucifer just stared at the silver splatter on the napkin and said nothing.

[queenabstract]

Do you still do trolls requests?? If so could I get a cute dickory x yodel troll reader where they reunite after the world tour and everyone’s like awwwwe

ABSOLUTELY!

Throughout you childhood, things had been a little rough. Thing was being a yodel troll, you were expected to be as loud as possible without causing a landslide. That was tough because you lived in the mountains. Little you had a voice louder than any other, and it was killing you inside that you couldn't use it. Then one day it started to change. There was one family that was always coming and going. A father and his two sons. He used to have a girl too, but you hadn't seen her in a while. The father was named Mouse Whiskers. Made sense since he was short and his hair had a way of pointing out and curving up a little. His younger son, Hickory, had his hair, but grew much taller and bulkier. Towering over his older father and older brother. The older son was named Dickory. He was short like his father, but had long hair that had a bit of a natural flow to it. You talked to them when they were there, quickly befriending the older one. The three of you would hang out and have all sorts of fun together. One day, you and Hickory were talking while Hickory played with his toy horses and you were trying to fix his wild hair.

"Now that I think about it, I've never heard you yodel that much. Why?" Dickory asked. You let out a sigh.

"Its not because I don't want to. Its that I'm to good at it."

"Excuse me?" Dickory gave you a confused look.

"I'm way to loud. I would have to hold myself back or I'd cause an avalanche." You explained.

"Oh. But that doesn't mean you can't yodel at all." Dickory pointed out.

"I hate holding myself back. Its really difficult and honestly I'd rather not make any kind of music at all if I have to hold myself back." You said. "I feel like I'm holding myself as a prisoner." You gave up on Hickory's hair. Dickory hummed and looked at one of Hickory's horses. He picked it up and held it in front of you.

"You see this horse?" He asked you. You nodded. "Now imagine the entire neck and head gone, and replace that with the top half of a troll." Dickory said.

"Uh, pardon me?" You asked.

"That's a country troll!" Hickory exclaimed.

"SHHHHSHSH!" Dickory shushed Hickory and looked around. "We're not supposed to tell anyone but...there are other kinds of music that exist out there. A whole bunch! There's Pop, Funk, Techno, Reggaeton, Hard Rock, and so many more! Including Country. We haven't just been traveling. We've been visiting our mom in Lonesome Flats. She's a Country Troll. You live with your auntie right?" Dickory asked.

"Uh...yeah. But she doesnt watch me. I once left for a whole week and she had ni clue. I just have a bed there." You said.

"Then come with us on our next trip. We'll take you to Lonesome Flats and you could live their instead! You won't have to worry about being to loud or causing landslides. Though you'd have to sing Country instead of Yodeling and you'd be expected to be a hard worker." Dickory explained.

"Are you kidding!?! Yes! Absolutely!" You exclaimed and hugged him. "Thank you, Dickory. You're the best." You said and kissed him on the cheek. You didn't notice his blush.

The very next day, you hid inside of the wagon as the family made their way to Lonesome Flats.

"(Y/N), come on out. We're here." Dickory said. You tumbled out onto the dirt.

"Woah." You said as you looked at the small town. "This is where your mama lives?" You asked. Dickory nodded.

"Yeah...though I haven't seen her yet...she usually meets us here." You and Dickory wondered off in different directions. You walked towards the center of the town where there seemed to be a party of some sorts. Dickory wasn't kidding. These trolls were half troll and half horse. It was so cool! You saw a little Country troll with red hair and a green tail around your age. She was dancing and seemed to be enjoying herself. You skipped up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She rurned to you in surprise.

"Hi, I'm (Y/N)." You said.

"Well Howdy, (Y/N)! My name is Delta Dawn. Nice to meet ya!" Delta held out her hand. You shook it. "What brings you out here to Lonesome Flats?" Delta asked.

"Well...I was hoping to move here." You said.

"Move here? Dontcha have a mama and papa?" She asked. You shook your head. "Oh. Well I can talk to my papa. He's the mayor round here. He might just be able to help you out. She said and galloped away. You looked around to fund Dickory and Hickory, but you didn't see them anywhere. You skipped up to a random country troll and asked if they knew where they went.

"Them Yodelers? Ah. Their mama died. So their papa took em and left. Good riddance."

"Dickory is gone?" You asked.

"Yeah. Why? He was a friend of yours or something?" He asked. You nodded and walked away. Their was a feeling in your chest that was hard to describe. It felt like there was a weight and it hurt inside. It didn't physically hurt but...it did? You were confused.

"I fall to pieces." You began singing. "How can I be just your friend? You want me to forget, pretend that we never met!" Your voice became louder. Thankfully, you had walked away far enough from the other trolls so that they couldn't hear you. "And I'll try I'LL TRY! BUT I HAVEN'T YET! NOW YOUR GONE! And I fall to pieces." You sang.

Delta Dawn talked to her papa. You told him everything about how and why you came. He decided to take you in as his own. The three of you bonded and you fit right in as the younger daughter. Delta made sure than you didn't live in her shadow and pushed you to yodel in front of the others and NEVER hold back. You sang and yodeled until your throat was sore. The Country trolls absolutely adored your voice and were impressed by how loud you could be. You missed Dickory and his little brother. You thought about him every night. You were still sad you never got to say goodbye or thank him. It was all because of him you were a yodeling country troll.

You grew into a strong woman. There was never a man or woman who caught your heart like Hickory once did, so you had an egg on your own and had a little baby girl. You ended up naming her Clampers. She'd spend a lot of time with you, her aunt Delta, and your cousin Growly Pete. She was a wild one and would sometimes ate random objects. You still loved her anyways. You were surprised to find her born with four legs instead of two like you, but you had to assume it was bbecause you grew up in Country, so her body adapted to it before she hatched. She spent time with Delta a lot since you'd scout the outskirts of Lonesome Flats for predators and such. You were the one who showed Delta the letter from Barb after a weird looking bat gave it too you. You rounded up more of the Country trolls to prepare for the attack and left Clampers with Delta. Your voice almost stopped Barb.

Almost.

"CLAMPERS! DELTA!" You screamed. You couldn't do anything but watch in horror as Barb turned everyone, including your sister and precious little girl into rock zombies. You were kept tied in chains near the center of the stage. Barb was pointing her guitar towards you.

"Don't worry. You're joining them." Barb said.

"No!" A voice called out and a small figure jumped out in front of you. When they broke out of the rock, you couldnt believe it. There was no way. They turned towards you. Their red eyes staring straight into your soul.

"Dickory?" You whispered. You were in so much shock, you hadn't realized that there was a fight going on onstage until the strings were broken amd drained you of your color. You fell to the ground, feeling weak. The chains slipped off and you felt gourseld being sat up.

"Mama?" Clampers asked, sitting in your lap. You held her in your arms and looked to see Dickory helping you up.

"Dickory?" You asked.

"I'm here, (Y/N)." Dickory said. You pressed your forehead against his and sighed, closing your eyes. Then you heard it, your heartbeats. You looked at the crowd and saw everyone's hearts lighting up and making music. You chuckled. Of course. I mean, you yodeled without a yodeling string, right? Delta Dawn made her way over to you and the four of you started to line up with the other leaders as you all started to sing. Even Hickory left the crowd to join you onstage. You didn't hold back a single bit. You sang and laughed with you childhood friends, just like old times.

"I missed you two so much!" You hugged both of them after the song was over.

"Yeah, we missed ya too." Hickory said.

"Look at you! Youve grown so big!" You giggled and then turned to Dickory. "And you, haven't changed a bit." You smiled at him.

"Really? Not at all?" Dickory smirked.

"Nope. Your still short as hell. And handsome. I guess you did grow more hair though." You laughed.

"Haha! That's what I thought waitwhat?" Dickory asked. Before he knew it, you picked him up and kissed him. He completely melted into it.

"EWW! MAMA!" Clampers exclaimed.

"Aww thats so cute!" You heard Queen Poppy say. You realized that everyone was looking in your direction and "Awwing" at the two of you.

"Well, if you take out all the people staring, I could get used to this." Dickory pulled you back into the kiss.

"Ah jeez get a room." Hickory rolled his eyes and walked away.

I apologize for it being so long, but if I'm doing a request, I freaking COMMIT to it. Though I admit I MIGHT have gone a teeny bit over the top with this? I hope you still enjoy though.

[fatgirlwritesscenarios]

Best Boyfriend to the Rescue

((A/N: Periods suck. Thank you.))

Pairing: JihoonxReader 

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,531

Summary: There are women whose period lasts only 2-3 days; whose cramps are simply minor inconveniences; whose whole world doesn’t grind to a halt simply because their uterine wall is shedding itself and you know what? Lucky them! But...you are the only woman with a boyfriend like Jihoon and that makes your periods just a little more bearable. 

                                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*

This was it. This was the end for you. This was how you were going to die: curled up on the hard cold floor, crushed by a mountain of blankets, some late afternoon drama playing in the background and you suffering from woman’s monthly punishment from God. Your period always put you in a catatonic state, your body numb and exhausted just from dealing with itself and all energy zapped from your being. The only things you felt in your zombie state were your cramps. Evil, sharp, unrelenting and uncaring, your cramps put you out of commission for a full two days. Your only stroke of ‘luck’ was that your period always came on a weekend, giving you those two days to recover.

So that’s how you were spending your Saturday, suffering for the good a child you may or may not have one day in the future. Your phone sang every now and then with text messages from your friends asking if you were alright. There was even one from your boyfriend, Jihoon, that you hadn’t replied to yet. 20% because you didn’t want to bother him with your woes and 80% because you just didn’t have the strength anymore. That was, what…4…maybe 5 hours ago? Sounds about right. You had been drifting in and out of consciousness during that time, knowing back as many painkillers as you could without killing yourself and overall just being miserable.

You had falling into a restless sort of sleep with your eyes trained blankly on the TV, watching the last 20 minutes of some drama, and when you came to, a variety show was on…and someone’s arm was around your waist. Any other time, you would have raised hell because who the hell?! Today? You hoped they would kill you so the pain would go away indefinitely.

“Are you awake now, Jagi?” Careful fingers carded through your hair and warm breath ghosted past your ear.

‘Jihoon?’ you thought absently, rolling back and turning your head up.

That was Jihoon alright, head propped up on his fist and just as crushed under the blankets as you were. How he got in there without waking you up, you���ll never know.

“I texted you,” he stated, trying to sound agitated, but giving himself away when his dimples made an appearance as you reached up to poke his cheek.

“I know,” you mumbled.

“I sent you several texts.”

“…You did?”

He nodded, “How come you didn’t text me back? I was worried.”

The groaning whine you released was all the answer you could give, shaking your head for good measure. Why did he think it was a good idea to ask a question that required strength to answer? Jihoon laughed his adorable laugh and tightened his hold around you.

“I know, I know,” he teased, nuzzling into your hair, “You don’t have the energy today.” He pulled back to study you, his eyes roaming your face as a smirk found its’ way to his lips. “You do look like crap.”

You glared and he cackled. “What? D.K. said the best remedy for pain is jokes and laughter!” You were going to remember that for when you felt better.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily, feeling around for your phone.

Jihoon reached over to grab it for you, placing it in your hands, “Almost 8 PM. So dinner time.”

You were surprised and looked back at him again, “You’re home early…”

“Mmhm,” he verified, idly stroking your cheek with his thumb, “After the 5th text with no reply, I tried calling your friend to see if they heard from you. They told me you were on your period and at home, so I finished up what work absolutely needed to be done and came straight home to take care of you.”

Why, you could just cry!...Oh wait, you were. Jihoon became a bit alarmed when your eyes filled with tears faster than a shot glass filled with water under the tap.

“Yah, why are you crying?” he asked, catching the streak of tears on his fingers.

It was going to take too much energy to explain your menstrual mood swings, so you opted instead to turn fully around and wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. Jihoon went still for a brief moment and then embraced you back. A smile took his face and a chuckle echoed in his chest.

“Aish, you’re so clingy,” he teased, pausing when you suddenly whimpered and fisted his shirt, “Jagi?”

You whimpered again, the sound filled with pain. Your body tense and your legs shuffling uncomfortably, you regretted moving from your original spot. A miniscule monster with razor sharp teeth and an affinity for pain started tearing at your abdomen. Jihoon cradled you, stroking your back and helping you ride it out. He pressed his lips to your crown repeatedly, whispering comforting words until the pain subsided and you could breathe at last.

“That was intense,” he observed, brushing your hair off of your hot skin, “It can’t be comfortable to be on the floor like this and going through that. Come on, Jagi, let’s move you to the bed.”

You thought to protest- you didn’t feel like walking- but Jihoon surprised the hell out of you by picking you up, blankets and all, and carried you to the bedroom. You were pretty sure you were dead weight at this point, so when did he get that strong!? When you were settled on the soft mattress, he sat beside you, gazing at you steadily.

“Have you eaten?” He frowned when you shook your head, “Y/N, you can’t starve yourself. Doesn’t that make the cramps worse?”

“Don’t yell at me.”

He scoffed and laughed a little bit- he hadn’t been yelling and you knew it, hence your exaggerated pout, “Where’s your heating pad?”

“It broke.”

“What do you mean ‘it broke’?”

“It stopped working today. It won’t heat up anymore.”

“Today is definitely not your day.” He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. You looked so tired and Jihoon hated seeing you like this, but he also knew how much you hated seeing him worried over you.

“Wait here. I’m going to make you something to eat.” He pecked your lips and made to leave, glancing back just once before disappearing.

You remained in place, rocking back and forth, focusing on blocking the pain out. How many years had passed since Jihoon left you to suffer like this? How dare he come riding in on a white horse to comfort you only to abandon you so soon afterwards with little more than a quick kiss? Okay…Okay, maybe you were exaggerating. It probably wasn’t that long at all. The cramps only made it feel like a millennium.

You vaguely heard shuffling and the muffled clink on the nightstand next to you. You peeked out from your cocoon, grinning eyes greeting you before you were coaxed to sit up.

“Look what I got.” He held up a brand new heating pad…So wait, he actually left?! “I ran down to the store two blocks from here. Literally ran. I hope you know how much I love you.”

He set you up comfortably against the headboard, plugging in the heating pad and placing it gently against your stomach to let the magic work. You whined when another wave of cramps assaulted you, Jihoon giving you some pain-killers and a cup of hot tea to chase them down.

“My favorite tea,” you mused quietly as you took a sip, Jihoon nodding proudly.

“And your favorite soup,” he added, gesturing to the bowl of steaming goodness waiting for your attention, “Make sure to eat it while it’s still hot. The heat will help.”

You giggled, tilting your head back when he leaned down to steal another tender kiss, “Thank you.”

He hummed, his forehead resting against yours and those lovable dimples on display, “Of course, Jagi. Anything for you.”

Soon enough, the two of you were cuddled up under your blankets, your empty bowl and tea mug stacked on the night stand. Jihoon had his arm around you, stroking your arm and shoulder as you rested your head on his shoulder. His laptop lay open between you, playing some move you couldn’t be bothered to recall the name of. You were too warm, too happy, to care much about the title, your cramps all but disappearing thanks to your wonderful boyfriend’s care.

You felt pinpricks every now and then, but as if he too felt your pain, Jihoon would reach his hand over to stroke your stomach over the heating pad.

“Feel better soon, Jagi. I don’t like it when you’re in pain,” his voice said worriedly.

“I already feel better, Jihoonie,” you mumbled, eyes closing drowsily, “I still feel tired, though.”

“Then sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” A kiss brushed the top of your head and then Jihoon was softly singing, a lullaby just for you.

You smiled tiredly, his voice sounding farther away with each passing note until you succumbed to your exhaustion and drifted into peaceful slumber. Finally.

“I love you, Y/N. Get better soon.”

[vidkid20ssimblrlair]

Episode 19: The Stranger

I looked out the window in my room. I could see the backyard from here and my mind instantly went back to that day. That horrible night that Grace Wallace met her end. Her screams still echoing in my mind. Screams of agony. Screams of fear. I had only fallen asleep for a few seconds, but that was all that was needed for me to be too late. Too late to save her. Too late to do anything, but yell for help and watch her helplessly. Out this very window.

“Vince would kill me if he saw me still sitting here like this,” I thought. He had told me to get out and do something today. I must admit I was spending a lot of time moping under the covers these past two days. Barely sleeping, but anchored here by an invisible ball and chain from the sheer trauma of seeing what I saw that night. If I was to ever heal or "move on", I would have to get up and put one foot after the other. Walk back out into a world where the stuff of nightmares became real. What a hopeless existence.

I had considered laying back in bed for a moment as I sleepily stared at the posters DJ has plastered on the wall, but I forced myself off the bed and stumbled slightly out the door. Staying in bed had made my legs feel like Jell-O, but I pressed on. 

I headed down the stairs towards the kitchen. There I found Aaron sitting at the table alone. Only a cup of joe kept his company as he sported a sullen expression on his face.

"Good morning, Ms. Anderson," he mumbled upon seeing me.

"Hey," I said sounding pretty lackluster myself.

I slid down in the chair beside him and he remained staring off in the distance. I looked around for evidence of breakfast, but the table was barren and there seemed to be no signs of breakfast even being prepared anywhere.

"So did I miss breakfast?" I asked genuinely confused.

The doctor chuckled. "No. There is no breakfast. Scraps. We're low on supplies right now."

"Well that's sucks," I murmured. "Is that's what wrong with you? Are you hungry like I am?"

"No. Well, I could use a bite, but that's not what's wrong with me," he said. "It's just I have a bad feeling about today. Your companion Vince, Matthew, DJ, and Nathan went out today and I can't help but worry. I wanted to express my concerns last night, but no one ever listens to me."

"Well, I'm sure there be fine."

"Maybe, but I'm barely ever wrong about these things," he sighed. He then flashed me a small smile. "Anyway, I can make you some coffee if you like. Do you like coffee?"

"Not really. I sort of hate it."

He laughed softly lightening the mood. He took a sip of his own coffee cringing a bit. Suddenly, he looked up and gasped. I looked over to see Nathan now standing in the stairwell doorway. The doctor jumped up from his seat, ran over to him, and hugged the statues man.

"You didn't go? I thought you went. Oh, thank God," he said deepening the hug.

Nathan didn't reciprocate though. He seemed distracted. He looked over Aaron's shoulder as if looking for something.

"Where's Lin?" he perplexed as he pushed the doctor away. He looked over at me. "Have you seen her? I saw her this morning and then she suddenly disappeared.  Looked everywhere for her."

Aaron immediately looked insulted by the brush off. He frowned and sat down looking downcast. I shook my head no, but Wade then entered the room answering the question immediately.

"Damn Lin ran off with Matthew, DJ, and that delinquent," he growled walking over to the sink. "Damn woman got me doing dishes."

Strangely enough, much like Lin most mornings, he had an apron and rubber gloves on. A frilly apron to boot. All three of us couldn't take our eyes off of him. Any other guy could pull it off maybe, but Wade was a sight to see. He suddenly looked back at us with a wild look in his eye as if he had woken up from a trance. It took everything in me not to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. Even Nathan and Aaron looked amused.

"What you looking at?" he spat in his country accent. "Wipe those smiles off your faces. I know I look stupid."

"I'm glad you finally admit it," Aaron said under his breath snickering.

"So you're on dish duty?" I said stifling my laughter. "Did Madison go too?"

"No. Just Lin," he huffed. "I told her not to, but does she listen to me? No. Instead, she got me here washing dishes. Doing her job!"

"Anybody can wash dishes, Wade."

Nathan sighed. "Well, I was supposed to go. She must have slip pass me."

"Yeah, but you didn't did you golden boy?" he fumed. "Lazy good for nothing!"

"Wade. Give him a break," Aaron moaned reverting back to his pitiful state. He then scowled. "I'm sure Ms. Wu can take care of herself if she's so special."

Nathan furrowed his brow. "What you mean by that?"

The doc cut his eye at him and rolled his eyes. "Nothing Parker."

Nathan glared at Aaron and stormed off into the hallway. The doctor's mood seemed to sour from there and Wade was well Wade. It seemed like it was time for me to go. I got up from the table and went over to Wade who was slaving over dishes now. He glanced over at me as I did.

"Are you going to make something for breakfast? I'm sort of hungry," I whispered hoping he would offer me a snack before my departure.

He rolled his eyes. "Nope. We're running low. You can have that can of spam over there."

He pointed to the left to a can on the counter and I grimaced. "No thanks."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"So Madison didn't go? Where is she?"

"Out front." He then whispered. "In my opinion, I think she's lost her marbles. Been out there since last night."

He went back to washing dishes mumbling to himself. I headed towards the front door and I could hear Nathan arguing with Madison just outside.

"I'm doing your job for you," Madison snarled. "Go back to sleep."

"Madison, now we know that's not how this works. Matthew wouldn't allow it and I'm here now. Let me take over."

"Sorry, but you should have been here this morning like you agreed. Not sleeping in!”

He shouted back. "I overslept! It's not like I meant to!"

"No, but you did and you jeopardized our safety by doing so. Someone could have easily snuck in here while you and Wade got your beauty sleep. Besides I thought you were supposed to go with Matt and DJ this morning. Skip out on that too?”

"Yes, but...!"

She sighed. “I heard enough, Nate. Just go back to bed or something."

I jumped out the way just in time as Nathan came busting through the door. He looked angry, but soften when he saw me. He gave me a nod and small smile before hurrying away. I then exit out the door and was greeted with the sight of Madison in full camo. She looked like she was ready for battle. She wore camo pants, a black shirt, and face paint with a rifle on her lap.

"Hey, there," she said greeting me as she looked out a pair of binoculars. "How you feel?"

"Ok, I think. Everyone seems to be acting weird though. Well, weirder than usual."

"Huh? What you mean?" she said looking at me through her binoculars.

"Nevermind."

"What you doing out here? Isn't Nathan supposed to be on watch?"

"Yeah, but I fired him. Him and Wade. Lazy bastards."

"You 'fired' them?"

"Yeah. I found Wade sleep last night while he was on watch. Then Nathan was a no show this morning. Decided it was about time I stepped up and do it the right way."

"So you have been out here all night!"

"So?" she said lowering her binoculars and shrugging. Looking closer I could see bags under her eyes. "I'm fine though."

"But all night?"

"I'm doing this for our safety. I know it sounds crazy, but something or someone is watching us."

"Yeah. Zombies or whatever you call them... walkers."

"No. It's something more than that. I know it! The message at the gas station said as much. Someone is watching us and we can't let our guards down," she exclaimed.

"Ok. Ok. Well, do you mind if I join you?"

I sat down on the bench beside her without hearing her answer. She flashed me a small smile and continued her watch. It almost seemed like she was looking for something specific. I squinted my eyes looking through the shrubbery for any sign of movement, but I saw nothing. Everything seemed to be the same as any other day. I sat there for a while though. Partly watching. Partly daydreaming. Boredom settling in, but a nice soothing calm washed over me. Maybe it had been good to get out. I would probably have nodded off, but then I saw something. I really saw something. I thought I was dreaming, but what I saw was real because Madison saw it too. A woman.

A red-headed woman in white from the looks of it. There was something mystifying about her. Otherworldly even. Her red hair looked like flames and her dress flowed behind her as she ran towards us. She almost looked angelic, but her dress was not untouched by the horrors surrounding us though. Blood decorated it much like blood decorated most things nowadays. It made her look a little ghastly. Like a fallen angel. Actually, the more you looked at her the more she looked frightening. I wasn't entirely sure if she was alive or dead. She hurried towards us silently. Her eyes focused on us and the house. Madison rose up immediately. She stood there almost frozen in fascination as well for a moment, but as she drew closer she snapped out of it and drew her gun.

"Help... me. Please help me," she said straining her voice. Her voice sounded almost inhuman.

She rushed over to the stairs and Madison aimed at her. She then flung herself on the steps submissively as if holding onto a life raft. She spoke again in the same dry horsed manner, but louder. "Please help me."

"Who are you? State your name!" Madison shouted looking down at her.

"Water....please. Water," she whispered.

"No. Name first."

"Please. I just want water. Please," she moaned. She turned her attention to me. "You. Will you give me water? Please?"

Madison scowled. "No, she won't."

"A sip of water. That all I ask," she pleaded.

"I can get her a cup," I said trying to defuse the situation.

"We don’t know this woman!” Madison fumed.“Let’s say we give her water. Then what's next? Food? Housing? Our deaths?"

“Well, a few weeks ago you didn’t know me either.”

She paused rubbing her temples and then sighed. "Fine. Go ahead. Give her a glass, but then she talks and if she's lucky she can leave without a bullet wound."

I ran into the house before she changed her mind, grabbed the nearest cup, filled it up with a bottle of water, and was out the door before Wade or anyone could say a word. When I returned both women were still in their same positions. Madison looked down at the stranger and the woman's pale anguish face looked up her.

I gave the woman the cup and she took it hungrily. She downed the whole thing without taking a breath and wiped her mouth. Then she suddenly lunged and grabbed my hands. Madison rushed forward and aimed the gun right at her head, but the woman seemed unfazed. She looked up at me and smiled.

"What is your name sweetie?" she asked. Her voice sounded smoother now.

"None of your business!" Madison spat. "What's your name?"

"I just wanted to thank my savior," she said eyeing her. "But since you insist, it's Gemma. Gemma Ryan. Nice to meet you despite the harsh circumstances."

"Audrey. It's Audrey." I mumbled cutting my eye at Madison expecting her to stare daggers at me.

She looked, but she didn't seem angry. Instead, she shrugged and stated her name. "Madison. Just Madison for now."

"Well, thank you, Audrey. Thank you, Madison."

She turned over on her back and slid down to the ground sitting. She held on to the cup and traced her finger around the rim. Something about her seemed almost childlike now. She peered up at me smiling again. "You got any more water? Still dying of thirst."

"No. I'm not done with you," Madison snapped. "Where you come from?"

"What do you mean?"

"You couldn't be traveling alone. You had to come from somewhere. You were also in a hurry. Why?"

She frowned and cocked her head eyeing Madison now. "I was running from what we all run from now. From the rotters." She fiddled with her fingers. "Thought that was obvious."

Madison scoffed. "I didn't see any of the dead after you and you still haven't told me where you come from."

The woman rambled on. "I lost them luckily. Seem like they’re getting faster, but I managed to lose em. I had been running from a large pack for a while. Then I saw your house. I was happier than a clam when I saw you living and breathing humans."

She continued laying her head back on the steps as if sunbathing. "Anyway, me and boyfriend got split up. I lost him a few miles back on the road. We got caught up in a herd of them and he told me to go on while he distracted them. He could be dead for all I know."

Madison smirked. "Well, you seem really broken up about it. Seem like you made a miraculous recovery too."

"What you mean by that?" she shot back. She then buried her head in her hands and began whimpering. "Of course I'm worried about him, but I haven't had time to let it sink in you know? I've been running for my life this whole time."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I don't know where I'm going to even stay," she cried.

"Where did you stay before this?"

"In a car on the side of the road. I barely slept."

"Then you should go back there. We can't you help here," Madison said coldly watching the woman closely.

"But I can't go back," the woman said appearing frantic now as she climbed to her feet. "Those things busted the windows. It's not safe anymore."

"Nowhere is safe anymore. I'm sure you'll find somewhere else to sleep for the night though." She cocked her gun. "Now please leave the property. We're done here."

"Wait! You promised me another glass of water," she pleaded. She reached out for me again, but I backed away. "And maybe some food."

"I did no such thing, but we don't have enough anyway. Now please go away," Madison growled.

I intervened. "I'll...I can give her some more water. We did sort of insinuate we were going give her some more."

Madison was officially irritated by me now. She glared at me as I ran to get more water, but she didn't stop me. When I returned, Gemma was sitting down again with Madison looming over her menacingly. I quickly gave the woman the cup. She drunk it much slower this time. She glanced up at Madison as she did.

When she finished I took the cup from her and she buried her face in her hands again. Madison came closer and stuck the gun in her face. She looked up with teary eyes.

"You don't understand. I can't go back out there. I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"You can't put a pregnant woman out there with rotters can you?" she said staring up at us on all fours now. "I found somewhere safe with real live people and now I have to go out there again? To die? Me and my defenseless baby sent back out there to die."

Madison looked furious. She grabbed the woman's arm and forcefully pulled it up on her feet."You didn't say anything about being pregnant," she seethed.

Surprisedly, the woman smiled. "I wasn't sure if I should. Especially since I'm not showing yet."

"You're lying!"

I stood back unsure what to do or what to believe. Then I saw Wade appear on the porch. His eyes widen at the scene.

"What the hell are you doing?! Who the hell is she?!" he roared.

"No one. Dead if it's up to me," she fumed.

"Now now, Ms. Madison," I heard Mr. Jones bellow from the porch now beside Wade. "I think we can handle this without violence."

"But...!"

"I don't know exactly what's going on, but from what I hear we have a new guest and the disagreement you're having can be discussed in the house."

"But...!"

"Ms. Madison. Please. Let's be civil."

He approached us slowly. Madison let the stranger go and Jones, the calming force had our attention. Even the woman.

He smiled. "I heard a very beautiful voice. Who are you, ma'am?"

"Gemma Ryan. Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. Why don’t you come right on in."

Been waiting to write for this new character for a while. Things about to get real interesting and scary.

P.S. Matthew and co. at the dump next.

Previous Episode

All Episodes

[usagi-zakura]

This week on Adventurer’s League

Our regular DM was too busy so we had a substitute. So instead of doing Storm King’s Thunder we ran a Halloween-themed one-shot. (Which he plans to run again so if some of my followers are somehow PART of that group.. don’t read this post. It may contain spoilers.)

It was the usual crew, cuz no one really had time to create new characters (Well I techincally had my spare buuuuut I love Dott and I didn’t bring any spellcards for my spare, who’s a gnome wizard)

- My kobold ranger/rogue Dott and her pet wolf/horse Ttod.

- A tabaxi death cleric who may or may not be a cannibal.

- A tabaxi rogue.

- A human paladin.

- A human bard/fighter.

- A thiefling bard who acts more like a rogue.

And a new player on the table: an elven monk.

None of our bards are the stereotypical «flirt with everything»-bard, but that doesn’t mean they’re sensible human/halfdemon beings. None of our party members are... except maybe the paladin... and the monk. Don’t know much about her.

We were supposed to be ghost-catchers, heading towards a small village to investigate some strange happenings when we were attacked by a walking scarecrow and a large flock of ravens. (Whom the Cleric wanted to eat. She is a cat I suppose so its understandable.)

I was late to the session but came in just as they were fighting the scarecrow.

We managed to fight them off even though we were all on a runaway horse carriage (the horse got spooked by the scarecrow). Eventually we managed to calm down the horse as we reached the village only to be attacked by even more birds...

We ran inside some old lady’s house. She seemed very friendly, even offering us all hot cocoa (which the two tabaxi took as a murder attempt because cocoa is poison to cats).

The Thiefling Bard, paragon of virtue as she is, decided to put up a Leomund’s tiny hut on the lady’s front door... for no other reason than to block her inside the house I suppose.

We ended up taking a long rest, some of the party sleeping inside the old lady’s house, others in the tiny hut at her front door, but when we woke up the old lady was gone.

We heard some commotion outside and went to investigate, it turned out to be a witch trial, the old lady was the accused «witch» (In case you were wondering how she got out despite the Tiny Hut at her front door, there was a back door.)

Their reasons for thinking she was a witch was of course «she turned me into a newt!» and also the suspicious orb that showed up outside her house. (Thanks bard).

The Paladin wanted to try to help the old lady, and suggested using Zone of Truth... forgetting of course that Zone of truth is a spell, thus magic, thus the paladin is a witch too! But the thiefling bard managed to convince the villagers that she was actually a demigod, and they seemed to accept this.

The Paladin cast Zone of Truth (careful to keep the party outside it) but the old lady succeeded her saving throw... Then things went a bit crazy.

The Mayor suddenly slumped over dead, having been stabbed in the back, and two hags appeared, the old lady changed to her true form, she was also a hag. Surprise! They were the witches all along.

Then... the villagers all disappeared and we all found ourselves in a grey-scale version of the town were it was raining frogs, and the village was patrolled by a large frog-like monster covered in tentacles.

The bard figured out we were teleported into some kind of weird pocket dimension, but she told the rest of us we were probably all dead because again...she’s just so darn nice. And with a deception roll of 22 Dott belived her and immidiately panicked, since kobolds belive that if they die they get reincarnated within their clan...but she doesn’t have a clan, they all died... so no reincarnation for her...

After exploring the strange village we found a totem, as we moved closer so did the frog monster. Roll for initative.

It caught several of us in its tentacles, and even ended up eating poor Ttod, but we managed to bring it down. Dott immidiately cut the frog open to save her companion but it was too late...

The DM however didn’t want to basically take away half of Dott’s power as a BM ranger, so he became a ghost. So now we had a ghost-dog.

The Thiefling bard decided to shatter the totem, this immidiately got us sent back to the normal village, where the villagers were still panicing over the sudden death of their mayor and the three hags (who had of course escaped by now).

When we offered to help defeat the hags they told us to go pick up some weapons at at the graveyard, and also explore the basement of their previous herbalist who had apparently been killed by one of the witches.

We went to the basement first, and were attacked by a jar of hands, an undead brain in a jar and a mimic table.

Also the bard got a hold of a fireball wand to Dott’s great displeasure (she has a bad history with fire) and basically burned the whole room down.

Somehow we all made it out alive, and moved on to the graveyard where we had to fight a banshee...she knocked out several of us, including Dott, leading to the first time ever that Dott got knocked out and Ttod wasn’t (given that Ttod has only 27 HP at level 6 that was kinda impressive...)

The paladin was able to bring us back up however and we defeated the banshee.

Next up we went to the pumpkin patch, apparently the witches had been seen around the area.

We saw a zombie in the distance, the thiefling bard just threw a fireball at it and killed it instantly... and then we were attacked by a giant pumpkin. Killed that one too.

We then found the witches’ house. The bard threw a fireball at it. Sadly this did not instakill the witches... they just flew out of the burning house on their broomsticks.

During the following fight Ttod ran around on the ground barking because he couldn’t reach them (despite being a ghost dog the DM would not allow him to fly).

The thiefling bard decided to polymorph herself into a giant ape! But was immiditaly polymorphed again into a sheep... Another character (I think it was the other bard or the tabaxi rogue) decided to shoot the sheep so she could turn back into the ape.

The paladin also tried to throw one of the witches off her broom by using Misty Step, she managed to get ON the broom, but failed to get the witch off.

One of the other witches tried to save her sister by dragging her of the broom (she was badly injured from the fight at this point) but this promted an attack of oppurtunity from everyone within melee range (so the paladin, Ttod and the tabaxi rogue) and she was promptly killed.

This our adventure ended, the other witches got away but their coven was basically ruined at this point, so we considered it a win.

TLDR:

Our thiefling bard is an asshole, Dott nearly died from fright but got herself a ghost-dog, we fought a table and the bard got double-polymorphed.

(PS when I call the bard an asshole, I mean the character is an asshole. The player is just fine in my eyes. Most of us just play morally dubious characters. Because its funny. I love this misfit group, its my favorite to play in out of the three campaings I’m currently in.)

[snarky-badger]

Prompt: Reader has a shitty relationship with reality. Weird crap happens to them and things that shouldn’t happen do. Sometimes they will go missing out of the blue do it it and just show up a couple weeks later. They usually carry around a recorder with them so they can show people they aren’t insane but they forget it and go missing for a bit before coming back. Eddie/Venom FREAK the fuck out.

This is my second attempt at this, as tumblr deleted the first draft I wrote! Grr. Still, it was fun to write! Kinda more Eddie and less Venom.

Your life was weird. Which was to say, you and reality had apparently met and broken up with no chance at reconciliation.

It had started when you were eight. Now, keep in mind, you’d been born in the eighties, so it was high weirdness to suddenly be in possession of a computer the size of your hand.

You’d been playing when something had just popped out of nowhere, bouncing off your head before clattering to the ground. A little dazed, you’d picked it up and discovered that it was something called an iPhone 8. You’d played with it for hours before it had simply vanished out of your hands, leaving an odd chill and a very baffled you behind.

Things had only gotten more complicated from there.

More things appeared and vanished around you, sometimes little things, like keys or books, sometimes big things, like your parent’s minivan.

When you were twelve, you’d vanished from school. Literally. Your parents had gone insane. Search parties were sent out, Amber Alert’s announced, police canvased the entire neighbourhood. When you’d reappeared a week later, your parents had ignored your tale of meeting Robin Hood and grounded you for running away and making up stories.

Your childhood and adolescence was peppered with disappearances, your parents believing that you were a liar and a runaway, and you had suffered through numerous trips to various hospitals because of the ‘tales’ you told.

You’d started bringing a tape recorder with you to film your adventures when you were fourteen. Over time, you upgraded to camcorder, then your smartphone, and finally a hidden camera that you could bring wherever you ended up. You had images and videos saved that surpassed any CG movie out there.

It was odd, you realized, that when you ‘popped’ into new worlds, that no one there thought twice of your sudden appearance. You just blended in with whatever timeline or universe you’d slid into, as if you were supposed to be there in the first place. You’d seen dinosaurs, broke bread with dragon-slayers, saved dragons from dragon-slayers, visited far off worlds and even alternate universes just a smidgen different from your own.

It continued on until you were old enough to move out. Sure, you still vanished from time to time, visiting odd and strange places, but it was fun for you. New experiences and new adventures. The hell with your doubting parents. This was your life and you embraced it.

You’d been chased by a feathered T-Rex, nearly gotten run over by a horse drawn carriage that belonged to Sherlock Holmes - the older one not the hot one - shared mead with Hobbits, gunned down zombies, met aliens - not the probing kind - gotten bitten by a chupacabra, encountered a rather irritated Dalek that had also popped out of his universe, hell, you’d even met Captian Picard of the USS Enterprise!

Things became more complicated when you started dating.You’d originally sworn off dating because of the trouble presented when you slipped out of your universe, but Eddie Brock had been sweet and handsome and with a sparkling wit and down to earth charm that had made turning him down impossible.

You imagined he’d expected you to freak out when, a month into dating, he’d confided in you that he was bonded to an alien symbiote and that he moonlighted as Venom most nights.

You’d seen a lot of weird shit by then, so you’d merely shrugged, shaken Venom’s hand and asked him what he preferred white or dark chocolate cake.

When Eddie had moved in, things got decidedly complicated. You managed to explain your disappearances by saying it was work related, that you had to run off at any time to catch a plane or a train. Thanks to being a veteran of falling out of your dimension into another, you could usually ‘feel’ a slip before it happened.

He’d accepted it with grace - after all, he was Venom. He thought he knew strange.

You were waffling over whether to tell him what was really going on. Had practiced the conversation. Were even willing to let him see what was in the mystically locked chest at the foot of your bed.

It was filled with keepsakes from your journeys: A sword made of enchanted glass from Skyrim, a computer pad you’d stolen from the Enterprise, bits of shells from a dinosaur egg, the Hope Diamond, a Venom comic-book - that was going to take some explanation - an ‘Arum’ from the Elite home world from the Halo universe, a pile of gems and coins from Smaug himself - you’d popped out of that world before getting charbroiled - a feather as long as your arm from a Roc, a working phaser, three seashells, several sets of armor and ancient clothing, a Lightsaber you’d stolen from one baffled Anakin Skywalker before he’d gone batty, and an emerald the size of your fist - you hoped Sonic had made due without it.

You’d actually been trying to work up the nerve to talk to Eddie after a date, on the walk home, when you’d literally popped out of existence.

Shit.

You reappeared in the middle of a fight between a rag tag group of people and something called a ‘dracolich’. Which was a fancy word for ‘skeleton dragon’.

By then, you were rather used to appearing in the middle of a crisis, so you’d taken up a sword and joined the fight. By the time the undead dragon was properly dead - thanks to one of the group that had turned out to be a necromancer - you’d pretty much ingratiated yourself to the group, and no one questioned where you’d appeared from.

You spent a month with them, fulfilling quests, getting drunk at taverns, and being rewarded by kings and peasants both. You had enough gold coins to pay for your apartment for the next fifty years. Your new friends, the necromancer, a draconian, an archer and a sorceress made you the honorary ‘knight’ of the group, even chipping in to buy you a set of armor tailored to you.

It was while your friends were at a brothel - you may have been in a different universe but you did have a boyfriend back home, hence the ‘no brothel’ rule for you - that things went sideways again. You popped, appearing in the middle of a conference at the UN where there were lizards instead of people, waved, then popped again, reappearing in San Francisco.

This wouldn’t have been such a bad thing had you not been decked out in full armor, armed with numerous knives and a broadsword. The fact that you’d appeared in the middle of a wedding just made things more complicated.

You managed to weave a spiel about trying out your ‘costume’ for the next Comic Con before making a run for it.

Hoping that Eddie was still around somewhere, you trudged home, incurring various stunned looks as you went. Ignored them with long practice, even when you got on the elevator and had to ride to the top floor next to a women with two children.

Lacking a key, you merely kicked your front door in, freezing in the doorway when you spotted a very confused Eddie on your couch. He was obviously in the middle of working on a new article - papers and notebooks were scattered around him haphazardly.

“Um…. hi?” You even wiggled your fingers at him in a little wave, armor glinting in the light from the windows.

Everything went flying - laptop included, ouch - when he realized who you were. He crossed the apartment in a run before wrapping you up in a crushing embrace.

“You’re alive!”

The stark relief in his voice made you wither a little, and you lamely stayed silent, blinking up at him when he pushed you back and held you at arms length.

“Where have you been?! We searched the entire City for you! Twice! Thought you’d been kidnapped or worse–”

You rose a hand to place your fingers against his mouth when his voice cracked, the tears in his eyes making a pit open up in your stomach. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have told you. This just…. happens, sometimes. Well, a lot of the time. I can’t control it. Usually I can feel it before it happens, but this time I didn’t have any warning and–”

“This has happened before?”

You winced a little and pulled away, walking past him and into the apartment. Waited until he’d closed the door before speaking again. “Weird things have been happening to me since I was eight. Things would pop in and out of existence around me, things that we’re from my time or our world. They’d always vanish again eventually…. When I was twelve I vanished for a week, met Robin Hood, he taught me how to shoot a bow–”

The look of disbelief on Eddie’s face made you growl. “See that? That right there. That’s why I don’t tell people. My parents had me admitted to psych wards because I trusted them. You know what electro-shock therapy is? It ain’t fun! But this shit happens to me, all the time. And you, Venom, are not the poster child for normality, so quit lookin’ at me like that!”

He winced at bit at that, then sighed and walked over to you. “Okay. Okay, we’re sorry, this just sounds….”

“Insane. I’m aware. I’m also aware that since aliens exist and that there are mutants running around and a guy in New York called ‘Spider-Man’, that this isn’t the weirdest thing in this reality.”

“Point.”

“Damn right ‘point’,” you muttered angrily, huffing as you headed for your bedroom. “There’s also the fact that I’m not stupid enough to say these things without some goddamn proof. So, c’mere.”

Grumbling a little, you stomped over to the locked chest at the foot of your bed, shoving clothes off of it before raising your thumb to your mouth and biting into the meat of it. Eddie made a noise of complaint at the sight, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Needs blood given without duress to open,” you explained as you pressed your thumb to the lock, grinning at his look of shock when the combination lock spun crazily, five numbers clicking into place before the three heavy latches popped open. “Got this thing from a wizard when I turned twenty. Best security I ever invested in.”

The flabbergasted look on Eddie’s face was almost worth it when you started pulling things out and laying them on the bed, explaining what each and every one of them were and where you’d gotten them from. His eyes got bigger and bigger with every keepsake you pulled out, right up until you pulled out the Venom comic and thrust it into his face.

“Bet you were wondering why I was so chill when you told me about the symbiote, huh? I already knew about it.”

“This can’t be real,” left him in a whisper as he took the comic and flipped through it. The symbiote that was masquerading as his shirt visibly undulated, a tendril extending to poke at the comic, as if to make sure it wasn’t a hallucination.

“Oh, it is real buster. There’s a reality where practically every weird ass thing in this world is just a bunch of stories. Spider-Man, Magneto, Wolverine, fuck, the entire X-Men School - comic-books. Every single one. There’s a universe where Batman is real, another where the galaxy nearly got it’s metaphorical balls handed to it by monstrosities called ‘Reapers’, another where crab-people try to overthrow governments. Trust me, I have seen some weird shit.“

“You never told anyone?”

“The people I did tell had me committed,” you reminded him. “I learned to keep this kinda shit to myself. I wanted to tell you. I did. But…. Well, the amount of people who have flipped out on me and left is kinda a hundred percent. I have videos, and they still didn’t believe me.”

Eddie shook his head a little, still looking stunned. “We believe you. It’s impossible not to. We’re holding the story of our own history in our hands.”

“Sorry about that. Kinda had to go for the shock value.” You paused, hesitant. “You really believe me?”

The wary hope in your voice made him walk over to you and wrap you up in a hug, leaning his forehead against yours. “You’re very convincing.”

“And the symbiote?”

“Glad to have our morsel back.” Eddie blinked a little, then cleared his throat as the symbiote released control of his voice. “We’re relieved you’re alright. We mourned you. We’ve spent the past month trying to find you.”

“This’ll happen again,” you warned him softly. “I can’t control it. I wish I could, but I can’t. And I don’t have control about how long I stay away. Could be a week, could be a month….”

“But you’ll come back? Eventually?”

“Always do.”

“Promise to come home to us?”

You smiled. “Hun, if you can put up with the insanity that is my life, you’re practically stuck with me.”

“Good,” he murmured before kissing you, and you shivered happily as you kissed him back. “Now, show us how that Lightsaber works.”

[mysticmysterywrites-blog]

Prompt #7

I want to do an apocalypse like setting with these three characters that I have. They're in a relationship with eachother, and have stopped at one of those middle of nowhere towns that just kind of exist?? Probably the only sign that the apocalypse hit being that theres no one around anymore and shit.

The first character is Amara. She's probably the most dangerous of the three, and is the type to shoot a bitch without hesitation. She has a soft spot for her partners and children, but other than that is willing to crack someone over the head and leave them to die. She isn't described in roleplay, but she's about 5'10, with long braided black hair and tanned skin. She has brown eyes.

Ko is the second character, and he is described in prompt. He's like the least dangerous of the three. He LOOKS threatening, but he doesn't know how to use like any weapons and basically acts as their doctor (Which, you know. He was studying to be one before everything went to hell land)

Asa (it's a nickname) is the final character. He uses a sword instead of a gun, which he defends on the basis of it being easier to kill zombies with. A lot more silent, and he normally isn't TRYING to hurt PEOPLE with it so it's all fine. That said, Amara is the one doing most of the fighting out of the three. He's the best smooth talker of the group though, and when it comes to dealing with people is most likely the one they'll turn to.

I imagine at this point in the roleplay, the apocalypse has been going on for about 3-4 or so years so far? Like, enough that the dust has startled to settle but still to the point where things are a bit panicked. These three have all been traveling together for about 6 months now, and Amara and Asa were traveling together for about a year before that. They do have an end goal to where they want to go, but your character will need to dig that out of them.

As for your character, they can be anyone! Someone that's been making this walmart their home and doesn't appreciate the people coming by? Someone who needs the medicine more than they do at the moment? Just someone on a supply run of their own?? Maybe someone younger then the bunch of them, and think's they're far tougher shit then they really are?? Possibilities are endless.

I'm willing to let this get Nsfw, but only if you and your character are 18+. But I do want this to be a slow burn kinda rp. If the plot takes us there, then it may happen. That said, you don't have to match this! I'm kind of cheating with the length by having like.. three characters. Just reply to your comfort, and I'll try and match! We'll be gucci.

Amara was not the type to trust easily.

It was just how it was in this bitch of a world. The more people you trusted, the more likely you were to get hurt. Or something obnoxiously sentimental like that. She'd learned that lesson time and time over, each and every time she'd placed herself in a group having been stabbed in the back. At one point /literally./ She knew better than to trust, knew better than to rely on others for her own safety.

...That said.

Even she had her soft spots. They were rare, and took time to grow. But they existed, and even she was willing to admit they were there. Her soft spots can in her two companions.

"Nah, nah you aint hearin' me out," Her first companion would laugh, somehow managing to walk backwards and bounce over every obstacle in his path. He was a small man, with a mohawk that had long ago begun to over grow (She'd need to talk Ko into cutting it for him. She'd offer to do it herself, but she'd always been a bit bad at that) bright blue eyes, and pale skin, "If we got horses instead of a car, we'd never have to worry about running out of gas. Maybe we'd have to worry about like.. Where we could store stuff. But we could totally go like-- You know those carts people would have on the back of their horses? Like.. The fuckin' Oregon trail games, that shit!"

"..Wagons?" She added, helpfully at that.

"Yeah! We could have wagons!! Could you 'magine tryin' ta shoot walkers in one of them badboys?" Asa raised his eyebrows, gaze more on the man next to her then herself. The man next to her- Ko. He was a sharp contrast to the sight of the other man. Tall, dark skin. Scars that seemed to dance and curl on his skin, and dreadlockes he'd managed to pull up in a style that she'd never be able to replicate behind him. He really was pretty, and whispers between herself and Asa had deemed that he probably couldn't hurt a fly if he'd wanted to.

Ko snorted, his arm moving around her waist. She could feel the hesitation in his motions, as if he was silently asking her "..Hey, is this alright to do?" To which she leaned in closer. Her own hand rubbing up and down his spine, fingers all but dancing on his skin. He was still so nervous about attention. And she really did understand, but.. She'd just sigh, allowing him a chance to ease himself into it.

Asa, on the other hand.. "You just want an excuse to have horses around," She reached over to smack his arm, needing to slip out of Ko's grip to do so. He stuck his tongue out at her in response.

"Fuck yeah I do. Horses are awesome," He shrugged

"Air conditioning," Ko said simply, as if that would debate all the point's that Asa was shooting out at them.

"We have generators! And fans!! It's basically the same thing!" It wasn't, and by the way Asa paused and deflated, he knew it wasn't as well, "Okay then. A farm. I want a farm. We gotta have a farm! I miss meat..."

She'd sigh, "If we can find horses, we'll consider- and I mean it when I say consider! taking them along," a stupid thing to agree to, but it at least got him to stop on it for a bit. And it did.

"Alright," She looked around the walmart. It was one of those kind of walmarts where she was sure that, back in the day when things were up and running it must have gone around and bought out every other grocery store in the middle of nowhere town, and had at the time had a balls out monopoly on the place. However, now that like 80% of America had succumbed to the disease that was zombiefication, it was just a flat out gold mine of possible things that they could find, "Ko, darling, can you go try and take care of food and medicine,"

"Mm.. what else would I be getting?" He tried to sound like he was complaining, but it sounded half assed and accepting of his roll among them.

"Know the most go get the most," She paused, "We can probably stop by the towns hospital before we leave if there's nothing left here, but mm.. Judging by the looks of this place, we'll probably be fine," She shrugged, sliding a cart her partner's way, "Asa, Can you go see if you can find batteries and lightbulbs and shit? And maybe bullets and other kinda weapons. You tend to be good at sniffing that kinda shit out."

He scoffed, "Good at sniffing them out? It's a talent doll!" He bounced in his spot, moving to grab a cart of his own, "I'll meet you in the medicine isle!" And just like that, he was off.

"Remember to pick up any seed packets you find! AND- Maybe. Another. Map.. He didn't hear me, alright..." She called out, before turning her attention to Ko again, "...I'm gonna go try finding us some entertainment. I don't know about you two, but I'm getting kind of bored with checkers and monopoly. Cards against humanity can stay, but it's on thin fucking ice," A groan of agreement was his acknowledgment, but it was one that hid amusement behind it's tone, "Be careful, yeah?"

"I'm the one you're telling that to?" He asked, eyebrow raised and a laugh on his voice. But as soon as he noticed the look she was giving him, he'd nod, ".. I will. I have my gun on me," He reassured, and for a second was okay with splitting up like this.

She'd taken her time strolling up and down the isles, occasionally picking shit off the shelves. There were a few boardgames she'd never heard of, some that she had heard of but had over played so much in her child hood that she'd just gotten board of them. And- Shit, was that pokemon?? She'd been looking for those games since this stupid apocalypse had begun. Should probably grab some nintendo's to go with it... She snatched what remained of the sorry game isle, popping the objects in her cart.

By the time she'd finished going through the isles, her cart had been at least half full, various hand held's and board games sloppily piled around her. Which wasn't a bad thing. It would, at the very least, give them something to do while they traveled. But they did only have so much room in their van. Hmm.. Maybe this would call for some reorganization in the back?

As promised, she'd made her way back to the medicine isle, flipping through the pages of one of the book's she'd picked up with a sort of half paying attention look to her, the other part of her trying to think of ways they could reorganize their van. While it WAS a pretty big van, it kept basically everything they owned in there. Maybe it was time to invest their time in trying to find a trailer and a truck?? Her smile twitched up as she even considered the idea of using the horses and carriages like Asa had suggested. She loved the guy, but god. They'd been doing pretty good at finding fuel so far, why would that be a worry now?

Besides, wouldn't they find SOMEWHERE safe before that became an issue?

Shaking her head, she rounded the corner she'd heard them talking from.. hell, the other end of the store, "I picked up some of these shitty smut novels. You know the kind. Oh Johnson take me /now!/ Kinda novel. And, like, How do you guys feel about DnD? I use to GM for my group before- Uh..." Slowly. Carefully. She put the book back down into the cart (On top of a few of the notebooks she'd managed to find. Another score). The scene registered rather quickly in her head. A person, someone she didn't know. Knife in their hand, pointed at her partners. The person looked like a startled deer, like the hadn't expected her to pop around the corner. Asa had his sword out, placing himself between the person and Ko, but lord. Did she not like how close they were to the two of them.

Her stomach sank, and her body reacted before she fully registered the scene, and she found herself with a gun in her hand before she could tell them to move, "You," Her tone was calm, but the kind of calm that held nothing but a storm behind it, "Need to lower your knife, and step away from the both of them. I will not hesitate to shoot you, and take everything you currently own."

[minero-tan]

11 please!! For the artist number ask!

OH, SOMEONE ACTUALLY SEND AN ASK!! THAT’S RARE, THANK YOU! 

 11. How many OCs do you have? Introduce them 

 OOF, I have 44 if I haven’t forgotten anyone lmaooo but here goes (introducing them in no particular order)

1. Booty = my first oc ever made. She came to life in 2015 when I was showing my friends the butt of an anime girl as a joke. It was all fun and jokes but for some reason despite me joking around she became the most serious and strickt oc. She’s pretty much the mom friend 

2. Up = my second oc ever made. She’s really carefree and loud. I made her in class when I listened to the song “Up” by olly murs and demi lovato. She’s the complete opposite of booty and she gets stressed out by up the most out of all 44 oc's 

3. Delta = my third oc ever made. He died as a normal dude and then got turned into an android. He’s really quiet and usually in a bad mood. Would kill people a lot more if it weren’t so bothersome 

4. Vision = He’s blind. That’s right, i’m a cruel mother who names her blind child Vision. Anyway, he’s a really kind dude who gets along with a bunch of people. The cool uncle in the group 

5. Mokka = A half cat half human boyo. In the story people who’re pure animals have both animal ears and tails while mokka only has a tail. Had cat headphones in his old design because he hated his human part thanks to his mom who neglected and hated him for not being a pure breed (she cheated on her husb. And he left her because of her cheating so she now gives mokka the fault for that), but in his newer design he grew older and accepted his human part. Grumpy guy who flirts a lot but who’s really bad at it. Also he’s real good with computers. oh AND he’s a Prince

6. Tiptoes = alright, don’t judge me for the weird names, I made her when I listened to the song “Tiptoes” by Jayme dee. She was originally a dancer, but in her new design I made a cheerleader out of her. Still, she loves all kinds of dances and she’s really fit. She’s quite cheeky and will nag on grumpy people like mokka

7. Neta = ah yes, the oc who I probably draw the most. She’s a dog who’s really into fashion lmao. She’s really quiet and collected and really popular with the guys, but at some point I made up the fact that she’s a meme dealer and I decided that I have to keep that personality trait at all costs 

8. Enno = Netas twin brother, but they’re the complete opposite. Enno doesn’t care if he gets dirty or not and he will definitely fight anyone who just looks at him weird. Tough guy, but a complete dumbass who probably can’t even count to 10. Very clingy though if he likes someone 

9. Latty = Neta’s and Enno’s wolf cousin. She’s really loud and really stupid. Wants to be like neta. Gets bullied a lot because out of all the wolfes in her pack she’s the only one who has a white streak in her black hair. But she’s quite the optimist and is practically amazed by everything she encounters 

10. Live = The goddess of Life. She’s really calm and gentle. She can revive dead beings, heal beings and it’s said that she’s the reason babies of both animals and humans are born. Really friendly, laughs a lot 

11. Chi = Live’s evil cousin. Her parents were salty that they didn’t become gods as well and that they were left off with the Knight job where they have to protect the gods and gave their hatred onto their daughter. Chi basically murdered a bunch of gods and wanted to kill her cousin as well but the other gods stopped her and locked her away. Will act like a trust worthy person to get what she wants. Mind games are her thing

12. Mocchi = A bubbly normal girl who just sees the best in everyone. Real optimist, can befriend everyone. Is there for you if you’re having a hard day 

13. Zadora = I was really inspired by a horse I knew lmao. Small shy girl who’s scared of a lot of things, especially strangers and big crowds. Kinda awkward but makes a good friend who’s always happy to spend some time with you. Loves her friends and family a lot 

14. Lium = Quiet demon dude who is really awkward. He could put people on fire with his supernatural abilities, but chooses to be nice since he just wants some friends. Gets terrorized by his look alike twin a lot, but he got used to it 

15. Laru = Lium’s evil twin. Will melt the ice cream of a little girl just for the laughs. Picks on his brother a whole lot but if someone else picks on Lium then Laru will snap their neck in half. Basically wants his brother to become evil and do bad things but he’s not quite succeeding. Good friends with Chi 

16. Frei = A fox spirit lady who actually lived in a shrine but then decided to travel. Real carefree and somewhat of a hippy. Really chill person, great to hang out with 

17. G = another android who got build for the military but then got replaced by newer models (I made him before dbh was a thing). Is a killer machine on the battlefield but will pick a rose and just give it to the nearest person when not on the battlefield. Really protective, he basically has it programmed into his brain to fight the enemy and to protect the innocent. Would be an A+ dad 

18. Majo = A small witch girl who’s pretty much an asshole. Will scream if she won’t get what she wants and will laugh at you if you’re dumb enough to give it to her. Fucks with people, not in a horrible cruel way but putting a dollar on the ground and then pulling it away whenever someone tries to pick it up is basically her go to thing 

19. Shepper = A Sheep boy who’s the biggest pushover, only because he’s so awkward and kind. Will listen to your worries but it’s easy to make him get and do stuff for you only because he can’t say No. Will cuddle you and sing you a lullaby if you’re having trouble sleeping. Gets pushed around by Majo 24/7 but he sees it more as baby sitting since Majo is younger than him 

20. Twen = my 20th oc! Get it? Twenty? Hhhhhhhhh,,,,, anyways, he’s a boy with a lot of energy and a passion for football/soccer. Like, he REALLY loves that sport, he will fight anyone who says that It’s bad. Basically your typical white boy. Still a nice dude, he’s a good sport 

21. Rhett = tall dragon boyo. Really shy but also really gentle. Works as a servant and enjoys it. Will breathe fire if he’s getting really flustered. Scared that he will hurt someone with his tail or just with his big size in general. “You want to shake my hand? Let me bow instead since I don’t want to hurt you"    

22. Morgen = a girl who I’ll have to redesign soon because OOF. I made her after listening to "Morgen Stern” by Rammstein. Basically, she’s really ugly and wishes to the stars that she becomes beautiful like all the other girls. Has her face covered up by bandages which I’ll probably change into a mask lmao. Really sad girl, scared to look people into their eyes. She also gets bullied a lot, and she cuts herself. Morgen hates herself and wishes she would be someone else

23. Rema = there are a few similarities between him and Morgen. Rema’s whole body is covered in scars thanks to his mom who hurt him a lot when he was little. She pretty much destroyed his whole face and then called him ugly. After being called ugly for a bunch of years he grew up to believe that he’s ugly. He came into an orphanage after his mom left him on the streets in the middle of nowhere, so in the orphanage he found a mask which he wears since then. Calls himself ugly and believes that other people think that he’s ugly as well but pretty much no one really cares. Real scared to take off his mask. He’s kinda awkward but makes a good buddy. Will tell you that you’re beautiful 24/7 

24. Kairi = a now zombie girl. She worked in a circus but got killed there by some of her co workers, killed everyone in the circus and basically took over the role as the circus director. Now the circus is closed but the few stupid people who visit the long abandoned circus die there by the ghosts of the people who Kairi killed. She’s Chaotic evil, has a lot of fun when killing. Also mourns over her life when she was still alive 

25. Cchia = ayyy, remember Mokka? This is his half sister. The beloved daughter who can do everything better. Mokka can’t really stand her that much even though Cchia is super supportive and nice towards him. She always got all the praise by their mom because she’s a full cat and was made by both the king and the queen and not by the queen and some normal human dude who the queen had a nice night with, so mokka kinda dislikes her, but she was the only one who stood up for him when he needed it, so he also feels kinda bad for disliking her. She was the one who gave him his cat headphones to make him feel more part of the family. She’s basically amazing at everything but she knows jack shit about technology

26. Melior = Pretty much Aph Poland but as a bunny. 

27. Kureiji = He’s a lot like Up but with a shot temper. One second he laughs and the next second he will destroy a whole house if something happened that made him angry. He’s one of the older oc’s but he’s basically a child. Also, really strong like oof, where does he get all his strength from when he’s just a mortal dude 

28. Joycake = I was listening to a song and it sounded like the girl who was singing said “joycake” and I went “wow, that’s a nice name!!!” So yeah. A really energetic and popular girl. Does dumb jokes and is kinda paranoid. Is a model actually. Does not know what personal space is until she needs it herself. Will fight people for 2 cents, also gets breakdowns quite easily 

29. Mirai = Joy’s twin sister (so many twins in this family). Again the complete opposite of her sister as with every twin what I literally just now noticed. Really serious and doesn’t understand a lot of fun. Hates her sister, like, if someone would throw a rock at joy then mirai would probably just keep walking. A hipster, listens to jazz on a rainy day while sitting on her laptop at starbucks. Wears oversized jackets and has messy braided hair like literally always 

30. Blini = ANOTHER android. She’s like 10 cm tall. Has to get charged with her tail like charger which comes out of her back/butt. Turns red if empty, yellow if half full and green if completely full. Gets angry at everyone, except for little kids. Has to get carried 24/7. Will put a virus on your computer if she hates you 

31. Destiny = the goddess of,,, Destiny. She decides what happens to people and how things turn out. Has a deep history with live. She’s really quiet and can be really serious if she has to be, but deep down she’s just a awkward lady who doesn’t know how to make friends. Takes her job real seriously 

32. Faith = Trans woman! Loves life and is just a really gentle person. Another mom friend but in a kind way, unlike booty who will yell at everyone because she’s worried. Will crochet you a blanket if you’re cold 

33. Mattis = awkward dad friend who’s in love with Faith. Has never fought anyone but will act intimidating if he has to. Has good advice to give. Real quiet, doesn’t talk much but he’s a great listener 

 34. Péja = so many androids! I swear that I made them all before dbh was out! A android specifically made for taking care of the household and little kids. Quite a cheeky android who jokes around a lot. Can easily beat the asses of 5 guys at once and will do so. Gives horrible advice, she really doesn’t know what she’s talking about 

35. Bennett = another fox spirit. He doesn’t work at a shrine like Frei does, but works for a specific royal family. Basically, the queen was about to get hanged so she ran into the woods with her baby because she knew that a spirit lived there and asked him to take care of her child. He’s pretty much a nanny now. A real gentle man who respects nature and every creature on it. Bad at fighting but good at hiding. Great with kids 

36. Temmie = A ghost lady who died as a kid but still aged as a ghost??? Idk what I was thinking there. She lived in a house with her parents who were alcoholics and who beat her more than once a day. She chose to not speak anymore since whenever she opened her mouth her parents already told her to shut up. At some point she tried to run away from home but got hit by a truck and died. Now she’s a friendly ghost who’s just kinda hanging around

37: Totengräber = Their name basically means “dead digger”, which is a grave digger. They are some kind of supernatural being who usually lives on graveyards. They dig out the coffins in order to take the souls out of the deceased bodies and to feast on them which gives them their supernatural powers. They’re quite the trickster but all in all very friendly and usually they befriend the local grave keeper. Can become both genders or neither if they wish so. They can also turn into a beast 

38: Błysk = a old ass dragon man, who acts like a snob and a ladies man. Has tattoos all over his body and is not scared to show em off by walking around completely naked. A real dumbass who doesn’t know much. A “collector” dragon, if he sees something pretty then he will keep it. He’s not awkward or shy but he’s been living alone for so long that he kinda forgot how to have a proper conversation with other people 

39. Damien = A dude who kills all of his girlfriend’s. He falls in love, after a while he gets the feeling that she doesn’t love him anymore and kills her. Usually he scrapes off the meat from the bones and eats it but sometimes he also just buries the corpses in the woods to which he lives close to. He’s been searching for his one true love since forever and once he finds her he is not going to ever let her go again. Will probably tie her down in his basement. Real horny. Really good at making friends and great at acting like he’s just a normal dude but pretty much has two sides which got used to working with each other. Cannot be trusted, he’s real good at lying and making things up to his favour 

40. Ghost man who I don’t have a name for yet = he lives in the snowy mountains together with a bunch of little creatures which contain the souls of little kids who ended up dying on that mountain. Real dad, loves all his children. Really chill and sleepy 24/7 but he doesn’t sleep since he’s already dead. Means no harm, he’s just there to take care of the little one's 

41. Zombie girl #2 who I don’t have a name for yet = Do you know the movie “Warm bodies”? I didn’t take inspiration from that movie, but it’s pretty much this girl who’s the only zombie who can even remotely think and act like a normal person. She was on a trip with her camping school club since she loves nature and all, so when they arrived she decided it was the perfect time to hang herself since she had bad depression and tried to kill herself a few times before. But while she was on her way to find a good hanging spot the other campers got eaten by a few of the first zombies. She hang herself and died but like two minutes later she opened her eyes and just went “Why does god hate me”, since the zombies ate a part of her and so “revived” her lmao. She’s smiling 24/7 even while she’s trying to find a new way of killing herself. Numb inside but still friendly. Has no intention of eating people 

42. Yvette = a ghost boy who’s soul wandered off onto an island where it then possessed the life size puppet which was made by “the doctor”. Originally the doctor was hoping that a female soul enters the body since he wanted to have sex with it but once he noticed that a child soul entered the body he threw it out. Yvette sees the doctor as his dad now. He’s a friendly little fella who cannot remember his past, so now he lives on an island with either crazy or dead people. Seeing a half dead person who got sewed onto the body of a cow is something completely normal for him. Thinks that if humans loose all of their limbs that they’re not going to die since everyone on the island is already not a living human being anymore. Sees the right hand (who’s called Espen) of the doctor as his brother. Gets pushed around by Espen a lot. He’s a child,he just needs some love

43. Voks = one of Yvettes friends. She’s made out of bones, rotten flesh and wax. “The professor” who also lives on that island made her. She’s really supportive, curious and happy, but she has to keep the power of her soul quite high so that the wax that is all around her body stays soft and flexible. If it gets too hot then all the wax will melt off, only leaving the rotten corpse from some kid behind. If it gets too cold then she won’t be able to move. Could kill a bunch of people on one spot 

44. Rakel = a deer slasher lady who lives in the norwegian woods. She leaves the woods only to get some sheep which she will take with her and devour. She’s real scared of adults, so if one goes into her forest then she will feel threatened and impale them with her pointy legs and also eat them afterwards. If a human child goes into the forest then she will either take it back to the border of the woods or take it with her to her barn where she will try to take care of the child herself which sadly usually ends up in the child’s death. Rakel always tries her best to keep them alive, but sometimes a little baby just can’t live off of a sheep cadaver. If someone goes deep into the forest then they will never find out again. Even if they put out a trail of some sort, it will just circle them right back to the middle of the forest. Rakel is the only one who knows how to leave the forest without getting lost. She really just wants to be left alone 

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Episode 44 Review.

What am I looking at here? The predecessor of the Advance PET from Axess or my Gameboy Advanced?

Hmm....

“Betrayed!!!”

We start the episode in a castle at night with the comeback of our friend Poipu aka Princess Pride doing some work on her computer and putting on lip stick between shots.

She takes a little break to drink some tea and looks over at a picture of her with Netto she must’ve taken somehow at some point during episode 39, along with the bandana he gave her for that unnecessary wound she did to herself.

That picture looks way better than the art style used in that episode.

An alarm suddenly goes off and one of her bodyguards tells her that someone is trying to destroy the main system. After this, we cut to Netto falling off his bed due to an emergency call coming from his PET. Netto recognizes his friend Poipu and an evil looking Knigthman who is seen destroying something.

“Poipu? What’s with the costume?”

After the title card we see Netto on Yaito’s private commercial plane worried about his friend as he walks in a diamond, I would say his walking in circles, but that carpet makes it confusing.

Netto’s thinking face is cute. :3

BTW Rush is there with them doing something “funny”, but since I hate him I’m gonna skipped as many scenes I can with him. These are my reviews, I take all the screencaps I want!

They ask about Creamland, and Glyde tells them that it is an island nation far to the north that is covered in snow most of the year.

I want to talk a little about Creamland here. Glyde’s description makes Creamland sound like it was suppoused to be based on Greenland, but in the Stream saga, Creamland passes from an island to a country fighting over an unclaimed territory with Sharo.

Now, considering that Sharo is actually based on Russia this would make Creamland look like Finland. That is the power of plot convinience, the power to move islands to the continent! 

So what is it then? Greenland or Finland? I have no idea, but we can all agree that Creamland is a Scandinavian country. It could even be Iceland for all I know.

Anyway, once they land on Sweden, I mean Creamland, the incompetent bodyguards from episode 39 enter the plane and basically kidnap Netto and his friends taking them to a horse carriage.

There also seems to be a design problem here with the blond bodyguard driving the carriage since in the fourth panel it looks like she is inside. Maybe they messed up the backgrounds? O-O

Netto and Meiru comment on how the town looks old yet people are seen with computers, which is basically how many countries in Europe look like. After one of the bodyguards gets a call from a standard Navi on their weird looking flip top PET they finally arrive at the castle where Netto sees the princess who happily runs over to hug him.

That is not how you should hug a kid. I swear, her boob is on his face in the fifth panel, how old is this girl? o_o

Meiru gets jealous, but just then an alarm goes off. They all run to a room where the main computer for Creamland’s data is (which someone somewhere describes before they enter the room) and we see that Knightman is the cause.

The princess has to explain to them what a firewall is for whatever reason... Wait, Knightman got who?

Oh, a character from Battle Network 2′s post game, I never got to fight him though. =C

Knightman breaks a hole in the firewall and Rockman and his friends appear to confront him. Rockman asks Knightman why he is doing this, but Knightman doesn’t answer and keeps attaking them.

Oh goody, the eyebrows are back. It’s been a while.

Speaking of whiles, Netto activates the Heat Guts style scaring everyone into thinking that he is gonna delete Knightman since, you know, the last time we saw him use the Heat Guts against a Navi was when he accidentally deleted Airman. But instead Rockman creates a distraction for Knightman so he can swoop in and knock him out.

And before this episode I never realized that he has like a V under his waist in the Heat Guts Style. It almost looks like he’s wearing a thong. o.o

After this we see Knightman getting scanned as Netto and the princess are having a conversation in a balcony. Netto asks why someone would attack the firewall and the princess tells him that it might be the work of “Darkland”. I am not kidding that is actually what it’s called.

In the dub, Creamland was changed to Brightland so that this would make sense. Get it? Brightland’s enemy is Darkland? It might sound silly, but I guess its less confusing than having a country that sounds like Ice Creamland that has nothing to do with desserts.

The princess then gets a call from Moltanicman AKA Napalmman telling her that he will patrol the area along with Rockman. Netto asks her about Napalmman and she explains with a flashback.

Yeah... I can’t be the only one who finds this story suspitious. Knightman “rescued” Napalmman who claims that he has no memory of what happend to him and suddenly swears loyalty to the princess and Knightman? Sounds fishy to me.

Anyway, Pride starts to worry about Knightman, and Netto assures her that everything will be okay since he is at her service! This is enough for her to hug Netto again, something a nosey Rush spies on before Meiru finds him and gets jealous again in a scene cutted from the dub.

I guess the dub considered little girls getting jealous over this is unsuitable for a kid show, also Rush feels like a pervert here.

We see Napalmman and Rockman patroling a corridor that looks like the inside of the castle in the dark before they decide to split up. We then see Yaito saying that she is lost and then plugs into a connection on the wall to ask Glyde to help her find her way back to her room. Glyde tells her that might take while before she suddenly decides to tell him that she needs a bathroom, what a surprise.

Glyde is walking in a corridor of what looks like a dungeon only to be ambushed by a Navi who is totally not Napalmman. Not Napalmman uses some weird light show from his eyes to hypnotize Glyde before commercials.

After commercials we see that Yaito managed to find a bathroom without Glyde before the power goes out in the castle. An alarm is sound and Rockman finds the culprit in the dark. Roll, Gutsman and Iceman are there too and they ambush the intruder who turns out to be Glyde.

Somehow, Glyde became strong enough to break free. Zombie Glyde tries to attack, but then this happens.

Iron ball? You mean the Canon Ball chip? Because I dont think that’s how that chip works.

This was a diversion so that not Napalmman could destroy the firewall using the hole Knightman did earlier.

They can see it from there? Since when? Also, what’s with the sudden coloring mistakes on that panel?

All of Creamland’s data is in the shape of a castle, that’s why Pride pictures the enemy Navis destroying a medieval kingdom.

Where is your viking pride, Creamland? XD (Pun intended)

Rockman runs over to where the firewall program is where Nalpalmman reveals himself as a Navi from Darkland.

Pfff. Sorry, why did they draw Pride’s face like that? She looks constipated. :s

Netto activates the Style change and Rockman changes into the Elec Team style, I honestly don’t know why because right now he has no Navi to fuse with.

Napalmman attacks him, but Rockman evades his shots and fires a Zap ring that Napalmman counters with another attack.

The what ring? Wasn’t that just a Zap ring?

Rockman attacks Napalmman with another attack I never heard of until now, but the darkland Navi proves to be tough by blocking his attack and then kicking him without even moving from where he is.

I think that kick was cutted from dub because I don’t remember that part.

Napalmman shoots him while he’s down, but Netto sends a satelite chip to protect him. Napalmman fires again multiple times, Rockman evades them, but ends up being surrounded by the undying flames he created.

With Rockman cornered Napalmman fires a Napalm bomb, but just then, Knightman appears to protect him.

You didn’t realized he escaped? Shouldn’t you put an alarm for that? Creamland security really sucks.

Knightman uses his wrecking ball to destroy the flames surrounding them, but is still very weak from last time. Napalmman plans to take out both of them by creating a chemical reaction by combining two diferent attacks.

This makes sense for Navi called NAPALMman. (Look it up if don’t get it)

Rockman and Knightman decide to join forces again, this time by using the magical extension chip Pride suddenly has and knows about, and Netto downloads Knightman into Rockman. Rockman shoots some giant ball of electricity he calls a Royal Wrecking Terra Volt that destroys the ball of chemicals and deletes Napalmman where he stands.

“Curse my laziness to move from this spot!”

Napalmman is deleted, but it’s not over yet, Rockman still has to restore the firewall somehow.

Wait, Knightman is conscious during this? Are all the Navis Rockman fuses with still conscious inside of him? O_O

Rockman uses the Royal Wrecking to close the Firewall program manually.

For the record, there was no imminent treath going on during this, the dub decided to add the alarm saying “ Enemy forces approaching, firewall restored, enemy forces retrieving”, just to add some excitement.

Rockman succesfully restores the firewall and Princess Pride makes Meiru jealous one more time by getting touchy with Netto again.

“What? She’s the one hugging me inappropriately!”

And before the final scene we get Netto’s biggest and most infuriating display of stupidy we’ve seen so far. He just now realized that Poipu was the princess of Creamland!

We all know Netto isn’t the brightest bulb in the game and anime, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH! Even Tohru and Dekao feel ashamed for him.

So everyone laughs at Netto, including Rockman still in the Elec Team Style, and we find out that Freezeman was watching them. Not only does he reveal that he wanted Creamland and Darkland to destroy eachother, but we finally get a glimpse of what the leader of Gospel looks like. And the episode ends with said leader laughing ominously with an aerial view of Internet city, hinting that something bad is going to happen there...Again.

If you were expecting me to call this guy Shuryou, sorry to dissapoint you, but turns out that is not a name, its just his title.

My thoughts?

This was an okay episode, it was an improvement from that terrible animation and story we had in episode 39, even thought there were a few mistakes in this one.

In some parts of America, episode 39 was aired out of order because the first time I saw Princess Pride was from this episode and I had no idea how Netto knew her. The dialogue change also made it confusing, in “Pretty Pretty Princess” Pride tells Lan(Netto) that her name is... Whip? But in this episode he already calls her Princess Pride. How did he know she was the princess of Creamland if she never told him in that episode? The dub might’ve tried to hint that they kept in touch after their day together, and at the same avoid making Lan the dumbest kid in the world! I mean, how dense do you need to be to not figure out that she was the princess?! You don’t get to chill at some random balcony in a castle with the head of Creamland’s security or whatever you though her job was (But he probably didn’t even wondered why she was protecting Creamland’s data) At the end, Lan gets a medal and a title from the princess and asks what that title means. 

This episode introduces Napalmman, a Navi you can fight in the post game in BN2, something I never got to do. I fought against and as Napalmman in BN5 Team Protoman, so I don’t know if his attacks were different back then. Napalmman could be found deep in the WWW area in the second game, but in the fifth game he has an operator and becomes an ally, and since the post game doesn’t seem to be canon with the story, neither Netto or Rockman recognized Napalmman.

Knightman, Princess Pride and Napalmman are not seen again until the Stream Saga.