#like. again. the music and costuming are so fucking incredible. the story and the acting are so bad aksdjhfakjsd

[mamawasatesttube]

kiran singh goes "oh? you want to learn about different cultures on earth?" and forces kara zor-el to watch the baahubali franchise. it is not a cultural exchange so much as it is... well, i hesitate to say psychological torment, but it's close

i know they've never interacted on page or anything but hear me out. i think another fantastic option for "women kara zor-el could kiss" is kiran singh (solstice). she's literally got sunlight powers she NEEDS to kiss a kryptonian. also her parents are archaeologists and i think science guild kara, who wanted to study earth culture to help facilitate kryptonian relations with earth before kandor got mcfucked, could appreciate that and enjoy hanging out with the whole family. women. ive heard of them

[commajade]

kibum fucking did it again that teaser video was incredible he's a genius. this mv is gonna be sooooo good. people have been begging for sm to have the promotional shoot and mv have the same concept for ages cuz what used to be surprising and cool got old and felt arbitrary. everything key makes is so cohesive and connected and well thought out and so distinctly key he's a genius.

key's early career image was all about being shocking and standing out and being able to look good in anything because he has style and star power. and at the same time he was the multi-lingual multi-talented one from the start even if he wasn't recognized for it yet, he's always been about adaptability and being global in an organic connected way because he genuinely has in interest in places that speak english and japanese.

he came back from the military a lot more mature and more interested in ordinary people and being relatable and honest and down to earth and it shows in every single career choice he's been making. i live alone and his return to amazing saturday in conjunction with his viral live broadcasts and news stories about his gardening made him a household name in south korea like he had never been before, even at shinee's peak mainstream popularity in 2013.

and now he just wrapped up a fantastic and mainstream popular and critically lauded retro trilogy of albums that show everyone exactly what he likes and what he's capable of. from art direction to costuming to performance to promotion on variety shows he absolutely nailed it. so of course he comes back now with an extremely down to earth relatable feel-good pop song trying to give comfort to his new bigger audience as they live their ordinary difficult lives. he's shown korea through variety exactly how hard he's worked for so many years and how he still keeps moving forward despite the entire industry tending to cycle out and replace idols who are much younger than him.

it's just so perfect! it's definitely influenced by bss's fighting in the office setting and theatricality but he adds the city dance scenes that remind me of in the heights, a musical he starred in. his performance skills were primary in the retro trilogy but here his acting and storytelling skills are at the forefront. it's cute and well made and a little quirky and fantastical in a way only key can even think of.

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

So I haven’t really posted anything actually spoilery yet but this will be!

Musical daddy Clark truly unreal. I love the opening number so much. I love how much dancing Lauren got to do this show, the joy on her face alone makes me want to cry. She and James had a bit in the opening number we love that duo. She and Joey also have a part in that choreo where they’re looking at each other and that was the moment I was really like oh god this is their first married SK show. Also I know I already brought this up but Joey wearing his ring for Bob is one thing, him wearing it from the very top of the show is NOT okay. I also shouldn’t be allowed to sit close to Lauren because I always get distracted, before it’s been her scars and her ring this time it was her sparkly eyeshadow fun! Also istg Lauren seems smaller every time I see her and the height difference between her and Joey seems worse.

Gift of the magi made me CRY. I forget how good Curt’s voice is and Janaya’s we KNOW is phenomenal and they were just so sweet together. And guys I cannot stress enough how amazing and hilarious this Joey Lauren Brian trio is like it MAKES act 1 for me. The whole song of that part Meredith posted on her story is SO funny. Also I’m fucking in love with Lauren’s costume in act 1 but even more so after the show she accidentally threw it off her head in that part.

L/J/B open little match girl and that song will not get out of my head. I’m not sure between Brian and Joey if the choreo was ever 100% perfect but we all know it adds to the charm. Lauren had to nudge Brian into the right place one show which was v cute. Ali is incredible and I’m so so happy to have her in a full length SK show again (but Lauren understudied match girl and ngl I would kill for rehearsal footage to hear those songs in her voice). This story was such a good showcase of how well SK combines the humour and the emotion.

Scrooge makes a little cameo in both of the stories which sets it up so well, and then the act 1 closer sets up for christmas carol.

I absolutely loved watching Meredith in the band and it’s so special how happy and proud she looks of her friends.

AJ’s scrooge is great and he brings a lot of fun little things to the characters, I think I just have a soft spot for Dylan’s scrooge because I have a soft spot for him that I don’t have for AJ.

The night Curt forgot his very first line in Bah Humbug and just said “yeah!” after Janaya was too funny and Joey put a hand on his back like “it’s okay” they’re all very cute. Honestly though that was probably the biggest fuck up. Joey is just like so so good as Bob obviously it’s perfect casting but it’s perfect casting.

3 spirits was even cooler the way it was staged this time.

Jaime’s I’m the ghost choreo was even funnier. Also nothing can compare with the Brian/Lauren siblings (finally!!) but Lauren was little sister again and was even cuter than last time, she had a little leg pop that was adorable and funny and then a little giggle at the end. And I remember being excited for Joey’s Fezziwig and then being like but he literally has one little part in that song, but he really did have fun with it and he had a cute interaction with Clark and Mere.

I love that scrooge with Curt and even after the 2021 show I’m still in disbelief over Janaya’s voice.

Christmas electricity is just the best fucking thing to see live the energy is so good. I did miss Lauren and Brian starting the song off (Clark was back to singing more of the interludes and we love Clark but there were a few I missed). AJ really was funny in this song. James slays so fucking hard. Lauren was wearing the black boots which I’m obsessed with. But she left early to make her quick change and THAT was when it hit me that I was about to experience the first married priceless.

And truly what to say. There were some ways it wasn’t as bad as previous versions, “this soil is rich” certainly no longer had THOSE implications. But literally just the fact that they *are* married and Joey’s wearing his wedding ring just got me even harder than I thought it would. There was also an EXCESSIVE amount of hand holding. And you’d think I’d be okay after the spin in the 2021 show but they did it in their slow mo section this time which was worse. And if that wasn’t enough, in the last show he spun her TWICE more in the last chorus in a way that definitely was not choreographed which you could see in Lauren’s face and I just. We KNOW they’re both phenomenal actors but we know even more that every bit of that is *real* and I will never recover. I say it every time but I cannot thank Clark enough for writing such a beautiful song for them. And at the end of the song Joey leaned his head on hers and I just looked at him and was like, that is a man who could not be happier performing with his wife. Also I absolutely think he tried to kiss her head the first show but she walked away. He was also the last to leave the stage at the end of the song and he was very proud husband/dad about it all. Jamie and Brian both *consistently* made Lauren break though which is always funny. Also in the first show there was someone in the front row who I think was not participating in cratchit family sing along so Lauren went right up to them and was singing right at them and then Janaya also shout-sang “priceless” at them. Which reminds me I do love that they got their hand mics back for this song. Also the last night Joey fucked up the part where they’re leaning out and wasn’t looking at Lauren when she was looking at him so she was acting offended but then when he did look at her they giggled and I love them endlessly.

Jim and Della became the couple in final ghost which was perfect. The decision to have Joey come out for the cratchit part holding tiny tim’s care bear was fucked up. Lauren leaning on his arm, also fucked up.

There was a new section in christmas day for Jim and Della which was really sweet, and a match girl appearance with an extra couple lines. It did mean we had to lose turkey boy which is kind of a tragedy because it means we’ve never *properly* gotten it live, but I do love love that they tied all the stories together like that and the emotional payoff was so good. We had Lauren donation man and her and AJ were really funny in that bit. Lauren had an entrance while the Bob and Scrooge bit was happening so watching her wait there like a proud wife for him to come and take her arm was 🥺

All that to say this is such a special show and the new additions are perfect and you should absolutely get a digital ticket!!!

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Five

Previously:

more Canadian history

EP's step-family is an absolute bucket of shit-heads

EP doesn't know the difference between a dab and a dollop, but I forgive her given the "step-family of shit-heads" thing

the subconscious message EP takes in from her family is Why aren't you like them? meaning Why aren't you normal? and your reviewer got maudlin and sad again

Now:

Chapter Six

we start off the chapter with EP and a friend at dinner

EP is living with this friend at the time

earlier in the day that we start into, EP had to call the police about a stalker

the stalker started off as a pen pal when EP was first on TV at the age of 11

EP diverges into telling us what she likes about acting, and surprise surprise, it's "being anyone but who I am"

EP has a music teacher who told her to "stop roughing up the boys at recess" which, you know, same

EP realizes that acting means she will have to wear "girl" costumes, which, you know, duh

EP there is a 900% chance that you did not know they were "cis" boys nor did you refer to them as "cis" boys because no one talked about people as "cis" when you were 11.

Also, "how is that not you"? They're wearing costumes! You are also wearing a costume for what sounds like some sort of historical drama? No one is wearing "suspenders, knickers" in modern-day Canada except in their Mennonite or Hutterite communities.

EP makes a website with basic HTML for school

a man contacts her through it

she likes it because she likes feeling "seen" - the man said he could understand her feelings

he probably could because he was like twenty-eight

we once again digress into the Canadian Part of the story, where I learn that the drive between Toronto (close to where I used to live) and Halifax (where I went on vacation once) is two days

EP and her mom would eat ketchup chips on vacation because, of course, Canadian

back to the pen pal

he is a Creepy Fuck who makes collages of her with angel wings

EP jumps headfirst into an eating disorder which starts by hearing a voice in her head

during what is going to be a very serious moment about a stalker, we take a header into Canadian Stuff because OF COURSE we do

Did you know Toronto is the Raccoon Capital of the World? OF THE WORLD? Jesus, I'm glad I moved... they could have definitely overrun my small town

apparently 100,000 raccoons live in Toronto

2.93 million people live in Toronto, just for a further demographic

anyway, back to the part that matters:

the Creepy Fuck emails all of EP's friends trying to find out where she is

he finds out

EP and her friend call the police

the police are worried and she gets a restraining order against him

we once again play All These People Are Shitheads

the Creepy Fuck FINDS HER, because of course he does

he tries to get her to take a walk with him

she runs

he gets arrested

he has schizophrenia

she does not press charges

things go from Bad to Worse because we are well and truly out of control at this point

EP decides that she will stop eating

she tells us that trans and gender-non-conforming youth are more likely to struggle with eating disorders

I did some research even though I feel like shit trying to correct her in her own sad book, but I am a very specific type of asshole

we know that female individuals are most likely to have eating disorders; I'm sure that now a lot of those female people are trans men and enbys

I had no idea that gay and bisexual men and boys made up almost half of male sufferers of eating disorders

anyway, EP starts doubling down on an eating disorder

I need a moment of levity so I will say that I would eat the fuck out of a Fear Sandwich if it was served at a cool restaurant or a nifty food truck

anyway, back into Hell

We've come to the end of the chapter which is good because I am so incredibly upset about all of this. I thought I was going to be able to do two chapters today since I didn't do much else, but Jesus fuck this book is so incredibly sad.

EP, you can have my dad. We can share dads. He is a very good dad. He would not come to Toronto to kick your ass... he would have come to Toronto to be comforting and to be very involved with everything. He was so concerned for my safety online that he told me that I had to give a fake name to the Christian women in my "Touched by an Angel" fanfic mail chain when I was fourteen, even though all we really did was tell each other we were praying for whatever causes they brought up and sending around new chapters of fic. I think I told them my name was Rachel.

My dad is funny but not at the expense of his children. He's been married to my mom for almost forty years and they love all three of us, let us be our own people throughout our childhoods. He is so incredibly proud of us, for wherever we are in our lives. He would have been proud of you and he would have fought for you the same way he fought for me when I got sick, the same way he fights for my disabled sister's care, the same way he stood up for my baby sister when she punched a kid in junior high because said kid was teasing her and the school wanted to suspend her.

(And this might just be me being selfish, but you are a few months older than I am and I would have loved an older sister. Again, we could have been weird together.)

My point is, you deserved better people around you. You still do. No matter what, you did not deserve this - from your father or from your stalker. You deserved to be a kid, and to be happy, and to eat.

And now I need to go eat, because reading this reminded me I haven't done that yet. Maybe I'll make a Fear Sandwich.

[skinks]

Oh my god. You are a saviour!!!!!!!! Idk but after some what, 6 hours, im not the same person anymore?? The English. The English. Its so packed. Cant stop crying after the last ep i there is a hole inside my chest now it hurts so much idk what to tell more like yeah amazon produced silly western with white girl saviour moment haha how about feeling the well of every humanly possible emotions after some .... several hours? I... didnt expected that. Cornelia...

Cant say thank you enough for your ramblings in the tags!!!!!!!!! You are not a frequent media enjoyer so to hear from you in the tags was such a suprise that ive downloaded it like after i just came home from work and was so dumbfolded by the narrative ? one ep for one day so i... wasnt aware of... you know... last three eps direction (but it was always there, always!!!). the fucking Event of my life thank you so much for mentioning it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Idk im just speechless....

ANON!!!! I GET IT BRO I GET IT….. event of OUR lives

You’re right, it’s so incredibly packed it’s… idk where to begin replying to you but I agree, the plotting is so well-done and teased out with just enough detail that by the time you reach the last episode’s reveals you have to recontextualise every interaction you’ve seen so far.

It’s really a testament to the power of writing that doesn’t just blandly dump exposition out for an audience it doesn’t trust - the reason I keep going bonkers bananas about the dialogue is because, yes, it’s heightened, but it’s REAL. Real characters with painful motivations WOULD keep secrets and talk in arcs around the subjects they don’t want to really talk about. Then it’s those arcs that keep Eli and Cornelia intersecting and sharing and coming to the realisation that somehow, in the enormity of the endless prairie they’ve found one other person who understands them…. I can’t think about it too much I keep crying lmao I sympathise with the hole in your chest, like I have been GUTSHOT

Once again it’s the tragedy. The layers of parallels to figure out on a rewatch. I think this type of reaction in me to certain media only comes along every so often because it’s only the most weighty, tragic implications of narrative and characters with doomed love that get me this good. Brokeback Mountain, Baze & Chirrut from Rogue One, obviously Reddie post-itch2 and now this. It’s come along right at the sweet spot for me when I’ve really been craving Western stories and feeling the lack of emotionally-moving cinema this year. I’ve had a lot of disappointments in the theatre ngl, a lot of duds. So it was such a fucking horrible delightful treat to basically get a sweeping 6 hour western roadtrip movie where every decision has been carefully, deliberately made - from the acting to the costumes, production design, direction, music, everything - to tell THIS story. Their story. Revisionist and triumphant and tragic and romantic and violent all at once.

Maybe it’s an indictment of how few pieces of truly well-written visual storytelling I’m exposed to but it’s been such a breath of fresh air. Characters with very different stories and goals and arcs that still manage to see something of the same driving force (magic!!!) in each other? Themes of reclaiming that which was stolen from you, both literal and metaphysically? Identity, agency, land, history, family, a HOME??! My friend @benevolentbridgetroll likened it to Mad Max Fury Road in that sense, both works are using the grand visuals of wide open spaces to tell a story about momentum and desperate human connection and Never Being Able To Go Home Again but also that sometimes you have to try, because there are people along the way who need your help.

And on top of that it’s using only the SEXIEST of “golden hour sunsets shining through the clouds of Nebraska dust kicked up by our leading man silhouetted rearing on a stallion” visuals to tell the story like HELLOOOOOOO? I love imagery. The horror of the time is all the more real for being given the weight it deserves; saturated, slow-motion, the hyper-real intensity of traumatic memory without ever being grimdark or exploitative for grimdark’s sake.

Plus Chaske Spencer deserves an emmy or a bafta or SOME kind of award I’m dead serious. Not since Heath Ledger played Ennis del Mar in 2005 has a man imbued such rich inner heartbreak to tight little smiles and devastating, carefully chosen words and the meaning that comes from what you choose to Look at when you know certain Looking will get you killed.

Because that’s another thing I agree with you about - when I started the series my main worry was that it was going to result in another white saviour story, and with the caveat that obviously I’m both white and non-American, I think the show avoided that. Not only are both Cornelia and Eli’s arcs given equal importance to the entire theme of the story, but it literally couldn’t exist if it wasn’t specifically ABOUT how the experiences of women and Native peoples in the wild west differ from the typical White Cowboy Conquering New Unexplored Land narrative. Eli is given all the agency in the world to make a series of decisions FOR HIMSELF and what it means for him to be a Pawnee man in this place at this time. That’s literally what his arc is about, and it’s compelling! Also the series was made with a ton of consultation and approval from members of the Pawnee nation so overall I do think they were trying to tell as authentic a story as possible.

Anyway. I’m so so glad you watched it after my incoherent yelling in the tags, that makes me so happy! I would love for more people to enjoy it even just so I can read more fic or look at more gifs 😭 I have so much homework this week I can’t spend it all on photoshop. Also have to say that you calling me “not a frequent media enjoyer” REALLY tickled me and I’ve been laughing about it for two days now, I feel like all I do is enjoy media. It just takes some particularly good shit for me to get super-annoying about it on tumblr so for that I’m eternally grateful. 2022 media has been so bland for me besides The Locked Tomb series that I was beginning to think I’d lost the ability to feel shrimp emotions at movies any more, but here we are. I’m shrimping so so hard and I love it. Thank you for your message!!!

[euphorial-docx]

Hi Mary i think you have very exceptional taste in movies, music art in general. I wanted to ask you whether you could share what are your few favourite movies and series that you could recommend (besides bones and all, that I know you love and I am already obsessed with) hope your having good calm time and enjoying the summer

hi! thank you very much! and i love that it’s a Thing that i love bones and all. i’m very happy to be branded by that movie lmao.

here are all my favorite movies and shows (separated), and the reasons why i love them because i cannot help myself from sharing my opinions <3

my favorite movies:

hellboy (2004, dir guillermo del toro) — i watched this movie with my dad often as a kid. guillermo del toro blends so many genres into this movie without it feeling inconsistent, and the production, costuming, and hair and makeup is just gorgeous. i feel this is a criminally underrated comic book adaptation.

waves (2019, dir trey edward shultz) — this movie is something else in a great way. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a movie structured, edited, and shot like this. the use of screen resolutions and the camera work make it very visually interesting the entire way through. the acting is also phenomenal (and it’s the movie that made me fall in love with taylor russell)

juno (2007, dir jason reitman) — another one from my childhood. there’s something so cozy about this movie to me. the actors are great, the dialogue can be both hilarious and heartbreaking, and it’s generally cute a little story.

20th century women (2016, dir mike mills) — i feel like this movie’s selling point is it’s plot. it’s set in the 70s about a single mother in her late-50s trying to raise her son, so she enlists two other women to help influence her son to be a good man. it’s just… so good. i want more people to see this movie. it shouldn’t be forgotten.

rhymes or young ghouls (2013, dir jeff barnaby) — it’s been a while since i’ve last seen it, but i first watched because it has one of my favorite actors it (devery jacobs— you will see her again here) but it quickly became a movie i’ll never forget. there are few movies about indigenous people, and even fewer that handle their trauma in a respectful and caring way. this movie is about indigenous people, by indigenous people, for indigenous people, and it’s great and it’s beautiful and it’s sad and it’s horrific and it certainly doesn’t fall into the “racist redemption” bullshit. not at all. this movie sheds light on a history that i was never taught about, and that i’m sure many people still don’t know about. this movie is an important watch, in my opinion. TW for residential schools, racism, rape, and abuse, so definitely be mindful of those topics.

moonlight (2016, dir barry jenkins) — one of the best coming of age movies ever made. all three acts are perfect. i don’t think there’s a single thing i don’t like about this movie. i genuinely can’t think of any flaws. it’s visually beautiful, the acting is beautiful, the dialogue is beautiful— everything is beautiful. deserved the oscar and more. a review of letterboxd sums my feelings about it up perfectly: visual poetry with the emotional depth of the fucking ocean itself.

aftersun (2022, charlotte wells) — this movie really feels like observing real people. it’s like watching home videos of a parent and kid on vacation. you can tell this story is so personal and so real, and the actors are incredible. it’s slow and melancholic, but it’s not boring and it keeps your attention. i was expecting to relate to the preteen girl, and i did, but i wasn’t expecting to relate to a single father turning 31. great movie. glad to see it get some light at the oscars this past season.

spider-man: across the spider-verse (2023, dirs joaquim dos santos, justin k thompson, kemp powers) — i don’t wanna spoil anything, but oh wow. oh wow.

everything everywhere all at once (2022, dirs the daniels) — instant classic. i’ve never been one for action/comedy/kung-fu movies, but this one’s blend of those genres and its imagination and humor and big heart make it something unique. it’s high energy, always interesting to look at, the costuming and hair and makeup are cool as fuck, and the acting is phenomenal. deserved to sweep at the oscars, and anyone that tells you differently is a loser trying so desperately hard to be different. don’t be different. love everytbing everywhere all at once. it deserves all the love.

and now…

my favorite shows:

mr robot (2015-2019, created by sam esmail) — my absolute favorite show ever made. it’s so hard to describe this show to other people, but you just need to watch it. it’s so precise in its decisions and so thoughtful with every single scene. the quadrant framing of the cinematography shows you the tone of the show and makes you feel what the characters feel in such simple ways. it’s truly stunning and the unraveling story is so intricate and infinitely layered. i feel this show’s message only resonates more as time passes. it’s scarily realistic.

game of thrones (2011-2019, created by david benioff, db weiss, george rr martin) — i’ll address the obvious: the ending sucks. the cracks in the show start to show in season 5, begin to crumble throughout 6-7, and complete breaks in season 8. BUT! seasons 1-4 is some of the best television ever made. the characters are multidimensional, the story is carefully crafted (thank you, george rr martin), and actions have consequences. even though the ending sucks, the beginning is well worth it.

house of the dragon (2022-current, created by miguel sapochnik, ryan condal, george rr martin) — yes, it’s a spin-off of game of thrones, but you don’t need to have seen game of thrones to watch house of the dragon. so if you don’t want to suffer through game of thrones season 8, just watch this prequel! it has everything i loved from season 1-4 of games of thrones but with a bigger budget. it’s great. i have hope that it will get even better.

the last of us (2023-current, created by craig mazin and neil druckmann) — my favorite video game ever made turned into one of my favorite shows ever made. the last of us was in good hands. as a fan of the games, i was beyond satisfied with what hbo did. It captures the heart of the story while also expanding on things us gamers never got to explore much. it’s everything i could’ve asked for in an adaptation. patiently looking forward season 2– you can’t rush greatness. and i already waited half a decade between the first game and the second. i can wait a year or two for the second season.

deadly class (2019, created by rick remender and miles orion fieldscott) — it’s a high school for assisins. what else do you need to know? seriously though, i love this show. it unfortunately got cancelled, but i think it’s great just in its one season. the music is good, the acting is good, it balances wit and existential drama. it is pessimism wrapped in a creative bow, and i love it and am forever wishing i got to see a season 2. i’m holding out hope rick remender can get another shot at adapting it in some way in the future. also check out the comics! they’re great too.

the walking dead (2010-2022, created by robert kirkman, tony moore, charlie adlard, and (formerly) frank darabont) — this one might be biased. i grew up watching this show, i still love this show. i have walking dead posters and played all the games and even have twd socks. i just love the walking dead. of course it has zombies (that look great, by the way; makeup killed it), but it’s also a very good inter-personal drama. it loses its footing around season 6 and stumbles a bit through 7-8, but season 9 finds its balance again and brings back everything i loved about the show. whether or not you like zombies or hate them, give the walking dead a chance. i really think it would surprise a lot of people.

reservation dogs (2021-current, created by sterlin harjo and taika waititi) — here is that devery jacobs i promised. this is a coming of age comedy about teenagers on a oklahoma reservation who steal, rob, and save money with the hopes of moving to california. it’s hilarious, but it also touches on many issues the indigenous communities face— namely suicide. you can tell the people on camera and behind the camera love this project, and again it’s a show made by indigenous people, about indigenous people, for indigenous people.

ok. i think that’s it! there all the film that i love. i hope y’all check some of them out because they’re all pretty good :)

[butcharyastark]

Speaking of jcs, can I have a rating of the musicals/ different versions?

HOWDY, IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

keep in mind ive only watched a handful of recordings or productions compared to other ppl but i do have Opinions on the ones ive watched. [cracks knuckles] so:

1. biased maybe because i just watched it but the 50th anniversary arena tour (circa early 2023, there have been other castings last year ik but this year's one is the one i love). i had the chance to go see it bc it was in my state this month and its the latest one i've watched but it instantly blew away all the other versions i've seen. just... the great singing of 1996 london cast and great acting of 1973 movie and creative staging like the 2018 live in concert.... it had everything and there was not a single ball dropped or a single bad or even meh actor or song or artistic decision. i am usually not one to rec ppl to go buy a ticket to an event but seeing it was the best intro to musical theater or live performances i could have ever had and AHHHHHH. sm details of this will stay in my mind forever re: jcs i can't pick one thing to deacribe bc it's Everything and i'd be here for two hours if i tried. it has my FAVORITE ending of any jcs production and idk if any other production will compare to the high intensity emotions and poetics and symbolism combined with amazing singing like this one.

2. have to go with 1996 london cast recording. i havent seen it and idk if there are even any bootleg recordings of it, but the album is The jcs album i relisten to. fucking A+++. again, maybe i'm biased bc this was my first full jcs album (as opposed to random songs), but idk if anything else but the 1973 movie studio recording album can compare purely musically to me. i love how you can HEAR the acting in the emotional singing while also not sacrificing the singing itself (looking at you 2000 movie judas), and idk i feel like it so clearly tells the story in the tone even without being able to see it, and that's fantastic. every other jcs production in terms of singing and audible acting gets compared to this one, for me. this is the one i hear in my head when i remember or mentally sing the lyrics.

3. 1973 movie. carl anderson. first official filmed jcs production. 70's outfits. meta narrative. do i need to say anything else? this was my second jcs version i consumed when i Got Into It and man im glad it was. when i first watched it, it seemed kinda just alright (probably bc im not a huge fan of movies from the 70's or 80's), but the further time goes on the more i realize this is kinda just The jcs. the classic jcs. i said 1996 london cast recording is what i compare everything else to musically, but i feel like this version is the one that every other version has to live up to. simple question: is your jcs production better than carl anderson painfully crying out "he won't listen to me!" on a mountain in the desert in a fringe outfit as jesus steps out of a tour bus, yes or no? and most of the time the answer is no.

i'm not a huge fan of older movies but the acting and music in this is top tier, the costuming is fun most of the time, the sets are neat, and the underlying metanarrative about an acting group performing jcs inuniverse for a film or smth is rlly interesting. it's the only other jcs album i have saved in my music folder besides the 1996 london cast recording. 9/10

also as a judas fan this is also the judas i compare every other judas to bc... goddamn carl anderson covers every base. desperation and anger and righteousness and tenderness and pain and bitterness and longing.... he has the range. and honestly it's got my favorite version of Superstar so far. i don't think anyone else has topped carl anderson's version yet.

4. swedish arena tour (idr the year). amazing casting, AMAZING acting, fucking incredible costumes, great singing. the only reason it's this far down this list is bc i prefer other character interpretations, but like, the appeal of bisexual vampy switch jesus who flirts with most of the apostles inbetween his main love interests of biker milf mary magdalene and legolas-in-a-mesh-shirt judas... simply cannot be understated. pretty much every artistic decision is 7 or higher out of 10. it's a very consistently good production, and a very gay one. i like the swedish translated lyrics also.

5. 2000 movie. i think everyone knows by now how bad this one is but it's so campy and jcs is inherently ridiculous as both the appeal and the concept that it loops back around to being good. it's not my fave version but it was my third jcs version and it was honestlly rlly fun to watch. what it lacks in singing, it makes up for in acting. i think Heaven On Their Minds, Everything's Alright, This Jesus Must Die, The Last Supper, and Superstar are the numbers that shine here. i think this movie is actually my favorite versions of everything's alright and this jesus must die. i really like the symbolism they try to use in this one. ik i said i genuinely think the acting makes up for the singing, but this might be higher if judas actually SANG. or if pilate was less sympathetic bc i actually hate this pilate djdjfj this version gets points for being much less antisemitic than other jcs productions with the priests, and then immediately loses them by being noticibly more racist than others in the temple. also my favorite peter is in this one. his acting in the last supper is like 25% of my enjoyment of this version.

6. 2018 live concert. full disclosure, i haven't finished this one yet, but i love it so far. i love the outfits and the staging and the energy and casting. this singing is not my favorite and i'm genuinely not sure if john legend knows how to act or if they just cast him bc he's john legend (i'll find out in the second half ig bc i also didn't like the acting of the 50th anniversary tour jesus in the first half and THEN--) but judas does a good enough version of heaven on their minds which is my main criteria for judging a jcs production in personal likes and i do Love the meta themes of casting a real superstar singer as jesus christ given the themes of the musical. i like the dynamics between judas and mary in this one. i think judas is in the closet in this one which is very sad but his outfits absolutely make up for it. it is a spectacle and a half and i'm enjoying it so far. it might get bumped up to #5 depending on how the second half goes.

7. original concept album. i know it's very weird putting the origin of the whole thing at the bottom, but that's not because it's bad, it's just not smth i'm in love with as a whole. i do need to relisten to it--actually i will do that today--but it was really good the first time i heard it, i'm just not a fan of the sound of early rock and prefer the way various versions adapt the music in progressively more modern times. objectively talented singing tho and heaven on their minds goes OFF. i may have more takes after relistening, but that's it rn.

8. i've listened to a bunch of other tidbits of assorted performances, mostly judas solos, bc as i said, i judge a jcs production by its heaven on their minds performance and i went scouring through classic and modern versions of that at one point. this is not part of the proper ranking bc i haven't listened to them in full, but i wanted to mention them here at the end. if anyone wants a list of my fave recs of that to look into:

original mexican cast (1975)

original japanese cast (1976)

mexican revival cast (1984)

original russian cast (1992)

original czech cast (1994)

jesus christ surferstar (2003)

all female jcs recording (2022)

most of these albums can be found just uploaded on youtube or even spotify which is very cool, please check them out, i had fun skipping thru them.

and uhhhh there's all the versions i've watched in full, or mostly watched, and a few of the ones i've done neither! ik this is very long (longer than i intended) but i hope this is what u were looking for and was entertaining or helpful!!

[docholligay]

Eurovision Rehearsals Quick Takes: Day Two

Everything I said in the first post also is true in the second, and once again, these are in running order!

Israel: I knew she was going to bring a whole-ass set, and I was not disappointed. The dancing looks insane. This is basically what I assumed would happen when she was announced.

Azerbaijan: I feel real bad for these kids, as I think there are years, and honestly, even in the other semi, where this might qualfiy, but it won’t here. It’s just these floppy haired Azerbaijani boys in their 70s costumes. This is closer to the kind of music I would like to hear show up more, so it extra bums me out.

Czechia: This sounded better than I expected! It might actually be fine! Depends on the night of course, but it sounds like they have backing vocalists. I do not particularly get the outfit choice, but they have what looks like some reasonably solid choreography.

The Netherlands: So, this actually does require a bunch of story. These two have been doing HORRIBLY. So badly that dutch tv has been making fun of them. So badly that we had an interview about it and Mia said she can “Sing it in the studio”. I think this song has been a top betrayal for me. So, they changed the song so these two can sing it. First of all: Let me skate a revolutionary idea called “Sending people who can sing the song.” Secondly, as @relevantbunny put it, “I can't say I'm pleased with the revamp version which basically takes all the things I liked about the song and throws them in a black hole.” Anyway, i hate the new version, the staging looks good and if it qualifies I am going to scream. They do not deserve it. I DEFENDED YOUR ASSES.

Finland: This is winning the semi. The staging is fucking exceptional, you can tell Finland sees they have a chance at a win and they are going to aim for it. Can he sing it? No, but that literally does not affect who will televote for this thing.

WE’RE NOW IN SEMI 2

Denmark: his vocals seem a little shaky, but my lord that’s a fun set. I hate this song, but it stands a decent chance of qualifying and the set is A game shit.

Armenia: Boy do I wish I liked her song better. I saw a version of her singing “Amar Pelos Dois” and it was gorgeous. Her voice is incredible. The staging for this does not really do anything for me, and it’s actually the first thing that’s made me think her placement in the semi might REALLY be a problem for her.

Romania: Theodor. Theodor please. He’s wearing a bright yellow short suit with pikachu socks, the staging is over the top in a very tacky and not even fun way, it all seems very confusing. He is actually EIGHTEEN, by the way, not twenty, so all of this is even slightly more tragic and he has the song with one of the biggest ranges, especially if you don’t count Norway’s stupid whistle note. If he had twink vibes and were more stereotypically attractive he’d be safe, but he’s not, so he needs to stop acting like such a dweebus and he will not. I really do hope he grows and comes back with a better song and package.

Belgium: This continues to be “Your gay dad reflects on the 90s” and I am not complaining. He has someone vogue on stage! This is cute and I feel like my mom will vote for him.

Cyprus: A couple rough transitions here in the notes, I don’t know whether or not I think he’ll get it together because I don’t have many live performances to go off of. He’s giving Poland 2022 with the effects, so I hope it comes off different the night off.

COME BACK TOMORROW FOR THE REST OF SEMI 2

[the-clockwork-three]

Swan Lake is a classic for a reason. Beautiful story. Amazing music. Incredible choreography. I do wish Ireland had... Literally any other ballet playing. Our cultural scene is incredibly stagnant. Just Swan Lake and the Nutcracker. Anyways this is musing from the production I saw today (technically yesterday)

The set for this production was very Greek (???) to me, especially in Act 1. (Not in the sense of the phrase but actually like Greece). There was a lot of pillars, and marblesque seats and fancy pots full of flowers. The lake was a lake in the even acts and the Act 3 ballroom is very plain. However the costume design was normal, which is to say they could be from anywhere in western Europe. But they were all sparkly so that's a plus

Act one. That's a pas de trois. You cannot convince me that that dance with the bestie and the two girls is not a valid Grand Pas de Trois. A dance together, everyone gets a solo, then they are together again. Swan Lake says polyamoruos rights. And this polyamory really want a fourth, but Seigfried keeps being like "nah it's alright, you go ahead I'm going to stay here". He is NOT interested in their advances.

Random half-joking headcannons aside, the crossbow was like really pathetic. It was pure white with what looked like delicate carvings and gems and I genuinely thought it was a pickaxe for a second before I remembered the plot. It's just.... My dude that's not going to hurt a fly it looks like your mum bought you a nice decoration. Also, if your mum gives you a crossbow in the first scene I expect you to have shot it at the evil wizard by the last one. Chekhov's gun,,,, or what I like to call it, Seigfried's stupid little crossbow

Anyway MIME STRIKES BACK. We all know that ballet is incredibly tied to mime as an artform and so the only way I'll my communicating the concept of marriage from now on is by laying one hand over the other and giving loaded looks. Anyways ballet is so silly and I love it

Act 2. Cygnets. I love cygnets. Give me more cygnets. I've also performed a lot of act 2 so the music is a little burned into my brain. Watching it made my feet hurt from remembering standing still for 3 solos

Anyways, here we meet Seigfried's first, but certainly not last, cringfail moment. He is the lands worst marksman. God help us all.

Also he proves himself to be an absolute wife guy. Odette has this lovely solo and he's just on the sidelines giving her heart eyes.

Act 3 <3 I've said it before and I'll say it again. I LOVE WHEN BALLET IS CLOSER TO ITS FOLK DANCE ROOTS. Character dance? Yummy. 3/5 of the folk dances were character. AND TARANTELLA. I LOVE SPAINISH DANCES. Rad grade 4 dance f (maybe. Possibly) is my favorite dance I have ever done for a ballet exam. If you take nothing of this watch RAD grade 4 dance f. The tamberines in the fourth dance were clearly missing their cymbals though. You can hear the dancers pointe shoes clunking against the stage, you would be able to hear the tamberines. And when they smack the thing there was the merest clink. Again as I have done the tarantella in rad grade 4, I can tell you that dancing with tamberines is LOUD

And then we have Odile. My boy you're so fucking stupid. I love you, but you are good of heart, dumb of ass. But the dance was breath taking. Of course. Fouttetes<3 and then Seigfried's pirouettes à second<3 I do think the ballerina fell out of the last fouette so she might not have done the full 32, or if she did she needs to work on her technique of stopping. Show stopping though. And? Then? At the end of the grand pas de deux????? The way Seigfried gripped Odile's hand and pressed it to his cheek. Raw devotion. It made my heart wrench. My boy is just so fucking stupid.

It's also really interesting to me that the Grand Pas de Deux goes to Odile. Odette does not get the dignity other tragic heroines get. The main dance in her story doesn't even go to her. She doesn't get the fouettes. Her love, her spotlight, her story was stolen from her. I think that's what made this veiwing of swan lake different from my earlier ones, as I understand the structure of ballets now. Also this one I'm seeing live

Act 4. May have laughed when Wizard Man crawled off stage. He was so wet and pathetic. Can neither confirm or deny.

Alright back to the idea of devotion. Seigfried to his last breath looks to the sky for Odette. He tries to give her what he gave Odile by mistake, his declaration of undying love. He presses he head to her hands with a desperation. He would try a thousand times over if they had the time. Odette for her part forgives him. She raises him from the ground when he feels the weight of his sins pressing down on him. She does not hold a grudge, but that doesn't change that she is scared. She knows Rothbart is coming, and the other swans are anxious with her. But they stay together, because that's what love is, right? Staying by someone's side, through good and bad, and forgiveness.

I'll be honest, I was not expecting a kiss. Not every romance needs one yanno. Sometimes pressing one's cheek to their loved ones hands communicates just as well as a smackeroonie. And if someone never kissed me but did the hand thing, I'd believe they liked me (note to self, possible solution to icks the idea of kissing gives you.). But then they did kiss and :D tbf it's implied that they are both super dead and on the way to heaven but that's a happy end in my books

Anyways watch swan lake. It good.

[cosmicbrowniefan]

more fluffy byler headcanons bc why tf not, y’all deserve it after the night we’ve had

will definitely gets tiktok famous for whatever reason (bc let’s be honest, tiktok would be obsessed with him no matter what content he put out), and mike just appears in the background of videos occasionally and all of will’s viewers immediately become obsessed with “will’s mysterious background boy”

mike knows everything there is to know about the incredibly complex game that is dnd but he can’t play chess for the life of him (and dustin gives up trying to teach him) so will spends an afternoon teaching him and mike FINALLY gets it

when mike is sick he’s the BIGGEST baby about it, so will comes over and makes him soup and reads him charlotte’s web :’)

when will is sick he definitely tries to walk it off and acts like it’s nothing even if he’s got like pneumonia but mike immediately goes into protective bf mode and makes will go to bed and puts some soft music on his phone and they nap together

they have the best halloween costumes once they become an official couple

notable costumes include: the two halves of a nintendo switch, remus and sirius (fuck jkr obvi, but will is remus and mike is sirius), johnny and ponyboy from the outsiders (will is johnny and mike is pony), the wizard of oz gang with lucas and dustin (will is dorothy, mike is scarecrow, lucas is tin man, and dustin is lion), and troy and gabriella from hsm (mike would be gabriella fight me on this)

also will begs mike again and again to go as dracula (bc will thinks mike will look really hot in that costume) and mike refuses bc he’s always teased for being pale

but mike VERY quickly changes his tune when will says that he’ll go as one of the brides

(they both look amazing in these costumes btw.)

mike and will go on arcade dates

mike always tries to win will something from a claw machine but constantly fails

turns out will is a god at claw machines so he wins both him and mike something and tells mike that they can tell people mike won him his stuffed animal :)

will loves horror movies but he learned that if he acts scared mike will cuddle him more so he acts scared a lot

they go on a date to lego land!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean come on that’s just so them

their favorite show to watch together is the babysitters club show on netflix

they’re the mfs to go to applebees and mike goes “i’ll take the apple” and will says “i’ll have the bees” and the poor waiter just shakes his head and sighs

will signs up for baseball and mike. mike is peekin respectfully. and ofc showing up to all of his games with way too enthusiastic signs

it’s canon that they both put syrup on their eggs but my headcanon is that they started doing this bc mike accidentally spilled syrup from his pancakes on his eggs and will dared him to eat it

“...this is really good”

“you LIAR that’s gross!”

“no really try it!”

“...”

“holy shit”

will’s keysmashes are always the typical ones you see like “asdhfjsk” but mike’s keysmashes are ones that look just weird or strangely like words like “wouspikmfdsu”

will is a converse gay but mike? mike is a CROCS gay

(will gets him the light-up lightning mcqueen crocs for his birthday btw)

mike convinces will to start an instagram account for his art and always comments on his stuff and reposts it on his story with captions like “MY BOYFRIEND DID THIS ISN’T HE SO TALENTED”

will prefers apple juice, mike prefers orange juice

this is the source of a recurring argument for them

for their anniversary, jonathan gives them a polaroid camera bc will is always talking about how he wishes he could capture and have physical copies of all their moments together

they know each other’s starbucks orders

mike’s is a very simple nitro cold brew

will’s is a double chocolately chip creme frappuccino with extra whip and almond milk during fall, winter, and spring, and a mango dragonfruit lemonade refresher during the summer

mike prides himself on having those memorized

steddie hangs out with byler before prom

but not like, together

basically steve and mike hang out at the wheeler house talking about their boyfriends and playing video games and then steve helps mike get ready and make sure he looks great and gives him all this advice on how to make it the perfect night

and eddie and will spend the day going out to random stores and blasting loud music in eddie’s car and then eddie hypes will up when he gets ready and tells him about how much mike is going to swoon

and then eddie takes will over to the wheeler house and mike is just. total heart eyes for will and stuttering and blushing all over the place

and eddie and steve drop them off at prom and watch them walk in holding hands and just turn to each other like. yeah. we did good

[legionofpotatoes]

Thoughts on black panther 2 under the cut

The movie is an open wound for better and worse. It's a beautiful, raw lament on grief that hits like a brick and operates with deft grace when it comes to that fickle diegesis of what happened IRL vs what the characters struggle with in context of the story. The bookends, especially, work very-very hard to shed the trappings of genre and get to the very heart of grief, of finding a way through it and into a form of catharsis both bitter and liberating. Coogler's direction and choices are incredible in these moments; he's reaching impossibly deep into parts of us that are vulnerable and tender, ready to trigger and unbalance at a moment's notice, frightened at being touched; yet he cradles them gently, guiding us through his pain with grace and comfort, never letting us down with even a single false note or misstep. In these moments, the promise of cinema feels fulfilled.

It becomes clear that Coogler is a master at reinterpreting his own humanity into a filmic experience without losing a single thing in the transition. The type of storyteller entire nations should cherish.

In-between those bookends though, we have the story proper. We see the depths of unprocessed trauma driving people and nations apart. The narrative ping-pongs between some plots that share in this ethos and others that do not, ending up in a wonky edit that still works in the moment despite itself. The story, however, in its attempts to weave grief into a meaningful plot catalyst, ends up in such murky waters that my face heats up remembering it. It's something of a peeve of mine at this point, and I really hoped not to see it here.

But first, some of the good: it undoubtedly tells a story that gets very dark very fast, and editorial rewrites are welcome additions; riri williams and the hydra lady are clear additions to balance out the tone of the primary conflict with some MCU charm, a move that seems regrettable on paper but ends up something of a saving grace for the fucking runtime (there is a version of this story you can competently tell in less than 2:40 hrs, I'd stake my life on it). And they mostly work! Riri is a delight, Okoye gets an incredible range of emotions to play with, M'Baku rules as expected, and the US stuff is negligible. And as difficult as it was to watch miss Anti-Vaxx Supreme wear the black panther suit and talk about science, her acting chops were annoyingly above reproach. And truth told the dramatic weight of the filmmaking overpowered my real-world biases more times than I expected, so that's something I guess.

The presentation is similarly stunning. The DP finds incredibly visceral ways into intimate moments that are impossible to look away from. The music soars, quietly elevating but never taking control of the rhythm, something that's often a death knell for drama but not in Coogler's capable hands. They introduce new sounds and instruments to the palette, creating a trance of leitmotifs that inspire awe and reverence. The set design, the props, the costumes. My god the costumes are a feast to drink in and appreciate. I would selfishly hope for the camera to linger on them just a few seconds more. The audio-visual artistry is firing on all cylinders.

Which is why what irked me the most falls squarely outside of them and smack-dab on the story department.

Namor and Talocan are, once again, triumphs of character and set design, but his story is yet another in a long line of ugly decisions by the MCU to portray anti-colonialist sentiment as almost inherently genocidal. They're just all murderous autocrats, these pesky indigenous folk whose feelings got hurt that one time. And I know this isn't like, super evident in the noise of the film's plotting, but looking back in hindsight it does drive me up the wall. Knowing that they pulled that shit again.

Let me defend myself a bit here. I get the writing instincts, I'm not stupid. It's a baseline flaw in Namor that needs to be foiled and tempered by Shuri so his own unprocessed grief can end the death march he has set his nation on. It's a starting point, of course it is, I'm not about to launch into the semiotics of behavior modeling in media, down that road lies madness. But like, I'm sorry; the optics of heightening the stakes due to his childhood trauma are still weird as hell when seen in all of their loaded context, in the entire breadth of their start and end points. There are ways of ferreting a gentler conflict of character out of that predicament. Why flip him into evil tyrant mode again? Why do that. Who benefits from doing that. Whose feelings are being carefully protected when doing that. The moment they arrived at his ultimatum I visibly winced in my seat. Again. They did this again.

Why go for this centrist parable when you've done it once already? And pulled off a minor miracle in not making it overtly gross? Why tempt fate twice? I'm not gonna spell it out, but it is evident that the true nuance of these narratives remains a real tough sell for the mouse house.

It sucks even worse here because there really are those ample grounds for personal, character-centric conflict to drive the plot, but instead we see hints of it until suddenly we get killmonger 2.0 with even less thematic clarity and direct engagement with the protagonist's flaws. Another progressive ruler *incidentally* obsessed with mass murder, going against a girl refusing to process her grief and meeting his violence halfway. And sure, yeah, their individual traumas are expositioned multiple times, they exchange philosophies, arrive at the root of their conflict, yada-yada... and then they punch about it. Nothing is learned, nothing is gained, one of them eventually strong-arms the other long enough for them to have unmotivated flashbacks, and then some both-sides bullshit argument gets made and everyone kisses and makes up.

Licking the boot of the status quo while wearing the aesthetics of African brilliance and Mesoamerican perseverance. I don't know, man. Maybe I'm out of line but it genuinely sucks. And I understand what the greater, out-of-text meanings of seeing this alliance be forged on screen can be, I don't deny that incredibly valid read. It's just how we get there, and with what. The optics. It's the progressive tyrant, again. Can we fucking not anymore.

We all know what you are saying with this.

(a tiny side complaint irt to this whole issue is an unfortunate failure to show-not-tell Talocan's allegedly unbeatable military might - their water superiority is not in doubt, but betrays unremarkable adaptability to their opponents. killmonger articulated specific plans to smuggle undetectable vibranium tech to saboteur cells around the world before inciting his hostile takeover. No such plan is clearly stated by Namor, no scalable ground-level threat is demonstrated, and it ends up feeling like his crusade is doomed both in ethos and feasibility - further diminishing his image by tacitly portraying him as incompetent and incapable of tactical foresight. this is a nitpick, but can compound the flaw in some cases)

Ultimately what is most regrettable here is that the rest of the movie fucking rules. Truly. The film oozes love and reverence for Boseman and it bleeds into every nook and cranny of camera language and musical cue. It looks and sounds gorgeous. The levity is partitioned out of its essential moments where sadness is present and needed; and Coogler is hurting bad in the driver's seat, it is as palpable as anything happening to the characters, so where he then arrives at the end feels like a true multi-faceted catharsis bringing a smile to anyone with a heart.

It's an open wound. And we all know what it's like to have one of those.

Just wish it showed better craft at placing that wound within the tale of a nation.

[lizardboy66]

bad buddy ep 1 ramble

ok so I absolutely adore p’aof and all of his projects and expected nothing less than smth incredible from this show. the premise was strong from the start and the first episode just solidified the level of care that went into this show. ok things I’m enjoying so fart

1) I cannot stress enough how much I love the format of the show. it has taken the classic uni/engineering BL style and has subverted it in a way that doesn’t need to be intentional - by making it unapologetically itself and also very deliberate and well made. The editing is far more ambitious than pretty much any BL I’ve seen and it adds so much comedy and enjoyment to the viewing experience. While Voiceover and dialogue still play a huge part in communicating the story, the camera work, the sets, the costumes, the sound and the colours all add a more impressive and high quality dimension to the show. It’s made with such respect for its roots but is also made to be innovative and different from its predecessors.

2) the intro is just wonderful. It lays out the characters so well, it has such distinct personality which matches the show and the intro music is upbeat and organic with the visuals. Simple, but full of colour and intrigue. Perfect.

3)pat and pran. both of them feel like real people!! they r such good stand alone characters which is so important in a character driven romance plot. their motivations and intentions were so clear and consistent to their personalities. their dynamic was full of warmth and the air of excitement that comes with young love and developing a crush on someone. all of their scenes together highlighted the wonderful chemistry the actors had as well as just showing their cautious yet familiar dynamic.

4)the rivalry. Romeo and Juliet is a classic and lifting the concept of rival families and friendship circles is such a good way to start building the world your characters live in. It puts them on an equal footing from the beginning and creates the sense of something well understood but unspoken between them and I fucking love it.

5)supporting cast. the sister is wonderful. she is probably going to act as a voice of reason and sense of stability for pat and he deserves that. all of their friends seem wildly supportive and generally like a solid addition to their worlds, as well as a different perspective on the events that are going to unfold. I have a feeling the families are going to play a major part in the drama of the show and I think that’s a marvellous choice, there are already some clear dynamics forming with a favoured parent and the different family dynamics that the two leads have.

6)budding (haha get it) romance. oh it’s STRONG. they already have such a good rappor, and the romance aspect is so well integrated into their friendship that it isn’t going to be hard to make that switch in the future. I already talked about the warmth of their scenes together but I would like to once again discuss the unspoken nature of the joy they feel when they get to spend time together and be close to each other. they are clearly a great team with similar mind sets who have the ability to communicate their boundaries and not lose themselves in the desire to change to fit with their significant other. also pat’s sister having some awareness of pat’s feelings for pran is such a good choice and draws attention to the fact that pat has been queer this whole time and that is an integral part of how he navigates his life. his feelings for pran are clearly a source of pain and confusion of him, whereas pran’s feelings aren’t as clearly defined yet but still feel as intense and central to the way he conducts himself as pat’s feelings are.

my predictions:

-pran’s mum is going to be a pain in everybody’s ass

-pat either is already out as gay or has come out to himself and not told anyone yet

-if we get a coming out story it’s going to be pran’s coming out

-the idea of time and the presence of clocks is going to be a constant theme in the show

-I’m banking on at least one friend b romance plot

-this show is gonna Hurt

[space-blue]

Dune, the mostly spoiler free review.

Spoilers will be under breaks.

Having slept on it (and since I got to bed at 4am I needed that), and having eaten enough sugar to kickstart my brain again, I can now confirm, wholeheartedly, that Dune is a masterpiece.

Hardly a hot take on the internet right now, I know. I'll say this, to start on a low note : Dune's greatest flaw is that the side characters (anyone outside of Jessica and Paul) can be left wanting development. Some non-book readers might struggle to get attached.

The film simply doesn't have time to deliver narrative, mood and emotional characters the way Fellowship of the Rings did, as I often see the film compared to LOTR. Unlike LOTR, Dune has not shot part 2, and it doesn't have enough action beats/plot beats to give you engaging character interactions for 1/3 of the story.

As a result some characters seem to be "seen in passing". Which... Bothered me a little at 3am, but has since faded. My memories turn to Jessica and how incredible Fergusson was. Absolutely show stealing. And Skarsgard!! Yeesh, the Baron Harkonnen does not need more screen time to be intimidating...

All the cast delivers. The visuals, design, costume, photography... It's clear to me everyone involved in this was at the top of their craft and giving it their all for a career turning point of a production. I even struggle to believe book 2 could land such a punch again, I mean, I've rarely been punched in the face this hard by a movie...

I mean, I'm not the type to be into spaceships or anything. I even struggle with models in the Star Wars universe and I published 58 fan fics for that fandom so... And yet in this film, hah... When the Atreides ships are introduced (you see these big transports in the trailer) I was like "No. He didn't... OMG the madlad, he did." — the music, the visuals, the scale... And then there's the thopters, and I was having moments of prescience myself, seeing actual ship/spaceship nerds rise up, foam frothing at the mouth. Modeling thopters and making videos about them for years to come.

The audio was loud, bold. The music alien. The sound mixing done so well I had a snappy thought 2min in, along the lines of "I hope Nolan sits to this film and learns something about sound mixing from this" (don't @ me, I'm still spicy about my viewing of Tenet).

In short, Dune is spectacular. It oozes with mythos and charm, feels lived in, intimidating yet beguiling. The plot is as sound as the book's the visuals are a cinema/SFF fan's wet dream, the acting and production value are stupid crazy, and the only drawback IMO — for non book readers — will be the "in passing" characters (like Raban, Piter, Gurney, Hawat... Who simply don't have the space and time to shine yet) and the ending, which is 100% "INSERT CD 2"

It feels jarring and leaves you begging for more. But book readers probably won't feel the same pang, since we can now close our eyes and image how bonkers part two can be in such visuals.

I've over-heard old french people saying it was super boring and slow and... lol I can't disagree more, but then again the trailer does market an action movie, and the film is not any more action packed than BR2049 was. When the action comes calling it's big, fast... When it isn't, the movie is moody, deliberate, and meticulous.

It won't be for everyone, but if you've so much as "enjoyed" the books, you'll be having the experience of a lifetime.

Before I delve into some mild spoilers I'd like to make a disclaimer: Denis has begged people to see Dune in cinema, and I was thinking "of course, what film maker wouldn't want people in cinema?" but also suspected he might want the numbers in order to get part 2 started.

I owe him an apology for these impure thoughts. You MUST watch Dune in cinema, not for Denis or part 2 (though, come on...), but for YOURSELF. There is not a single home cinema set up that can do justice to this film. It's the definition of why you go to the cinema for. It's epic in scale, it makes you jump at startling moments, it punches and screams at you, and makes you squint at others, and you walk out of there with a sense of having witnessed something like... To me, like Interstellar. Remember seeing that docking sequence scene in the theater and walking out being like "holy shit" ? Well Dune is very much like that. It was made for the big screen, and anything short of IMAX or Dolby ATMOS would be a disservice to both the film and yourself.

I will be seeing it in France the instant it comes out in September. It begs rewatching.

Now for some spoilery thoughts (mild spoilers, and a warning for further spoilers below).

The film takes surprisingly little time to delve on certain topics. Like the spice. Sure you're told it's important, and the economics that drive the story make it feel important, but not nearly as much as I suspected it would be. There is no clunky exposition on the topic (lol no fucking time for that!) no scene where someone shoves spice in your face and goes “oh but blah blah spice must flow”. It’s said in passing and newcomers better hold on to their seat and pay attention.

Sadly though a fair bit of the dialogue was expositional imo, and too little of it over all felt like that heart warming moment between Paul and Leto. It's not a big drawback, but since I enjoy more character driven stories, I regretted the lack of general emotional investment.

On the point of emotions though, I was taken aback by Jamis! The scene of him in the trailers "I'll show you"... creates a sort of very subtle and implied dynamic that was probably one of the biggest heart punch for me, and started driving home how dire Paul's visions can be. I suspect some viewers won't interpret it the way I did though.

THE VOICE WAS SO WELL MADE YOU GUYS!! The thopter escape scene was always a "meh, sure, they get away" moment for me in the books. Good teamwork between Paul and Jessica... But *hearing it* was a completely different business. I was at the edge of my seat, I LOVED IT.

There's also a lot of actual signing in the film! And the Sardaukar don't speak english but a super guthural language. Kind of like making a conlang merging German and the Black Speech of Mordor and giving it to a Danish to speak. Felt very cool.

The shields were just as badass as you think they'll be. The slow impact weapons are just... *chef kiss*

Finally some heavy spoilers on book story details (jihad, Muad'dib, some characters) :

There is no mentions of Jihad, but not because it's avoided. The visions of a fight Paul has are rare, and he mentions them once. At that time he says war or massacre but not Jihad. I didn't notice until I was asked.

He also doesn't chose the name Muad'Dib. If I recall that's right after killing Jamis, but doesn't happen here, even if we see the literal muad'dib in the desert. It's also fine. Those scenes were at the very end, and I felt like slamming newcomers with such a significant moment with alien language at the very end might be a mistake. I'm curious to see how it's handled in part 2 though.

I was looking forward to Piter... His role is uber minor. As much as Hawat's. Like, the Bull that killed Leto's father gets more screen time, funnily enough. There's a heavy imagery around it that's going to fuel many video essays.

[katierosefun]

i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 

k-dramas: 

beyond evil 

okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 

i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 

okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 

the crowned clown 

so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 

basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 

this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 

d.p. 

bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 

basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 

anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 

squid game 

okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 

if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 

this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 

i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 

tv 

star wars: visions 

lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 

i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 

but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

The Witcher: Season 2

Geralt of Rivia, a solitary monster hunter, struggles to find his place in a world where people often prove to be more wicked than the beast he hunts.

Please be warned that I am someone who has not read the books but is very familiar with the world through the games. SPOILERS AHEAD.

Season 1 of The Witcher was pretty good. Despite there being some problems with the worldbuilding and the storytelling, the series easily showed that it can improve with more seasons and a larger budget. Yet, somehow, the second season has taken a mighty dip in quality despite having a more straightforward story. It is somehow more convoluted than the first and feels like a pitiful melodrama trying to replicate Game of Thrones rather than the world of The Witcher. Nothing within this series screams the world that author Andrzej Spakowski created.

Oh, where do I begin? The majority of this season feels like filler. Many of the plotlines truly go nowhere in this season, and when the plot does develop, it happens so quickly that it's over in a blink of an eye. This makes pacing makes the story feel incredibly uneven and convoluted. The writing has also taken a massive dip in this season as well. I am personally fine with cursing but this series went from mostly elevated dialogue to every other word is "fuck". Furthermore, what book fans have told me is that this series takes a massive turn from the novels. With Eskel being killed, I was immediately insulted, remembering him from the games and I know he plays a big part of the story later on in the novels. The showrunner's explanation is bullshit and felt they killed him because they can and they actually don't care about Spakowski's work. The action scenes are okay but nothing really fancy. The dramatic camera movement was more annoying than anything else. Overall, this series is a massive disappointment.

The acting overall in this series is also a mixed bag. Henry Cavill proves yet again he is the best thing about this series. I truly feel sorry for him because he seems to be the only person working on the series who truly cares for the world of The Witcher. Anya Chalorta and Freya Allan both gave pretty good performances in this series. Kim Bodnia feels miscast as Vesemir. Mecia Simons is okay has Francisca, but they turned her character into an irredeemable one and ruined her. What is even more frustrating is that they are clearly going to make her into a misunderstood character. However, the biggest miscasting of this series is easily from Mimi Ndiweni as Fringilla. If you have read the books or played the games you clearly know why she is miscasted, but even the actress can't pull off Fringilla in any convincing way and was cast simply to check a box. Overall, it feels like one massive disappointment this season.

With the bigger budget, it is clear that the production value increased within the second season. However, nothing within this series feels Slavic. The music tries its best but it is just hollow and meaningless. Even though the series does have some good soundtracks, they just don't mix with The Witcher. The costumes are fine, but they have no identity to them. They just feel like standard fantasy garments but with no real culture to them. The visual effects are much better in the second season, but still feel cheap at many points. The only point where they don't feel cheap is in the first episode of the second season. Overall, I would expect this series to have at least some cultural identity to it but instead feels like a generic fantasy.

The biggest problem I have had with this series since day one is that it completely shits on the cultures that influenced The Witcher. If you are unaware the world of The Witcher is heavily influenced by Slavic mythology and culture. The games by CDProjek Red near-perfectly capture this wondrous culture. However, in the series, it is nowhere to be found. Slavic culture has no representation in Western media and this series could have brought this culture to western audiences. Instead, they forced modern and forced "representation" requirements in order to please the people of Twitter. They completely threw out the culture and the people these stories came from in the name of representation. The showrunners have proven they are massive hypocrites and really don't understand what representation really is.

I am sorry if this review feels like a rant but it needs to be stated. It feels like no one within this series except for Henry have shown that they care about the world of The Witcher. I hope Netflix reads this and starts making some changes to the show leadership.

I am giving The Witcher: Season 2, a C-.

[snowdice]

Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 39]

Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!

If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. None edited chapters are under the cut.

My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.

Alright. Time to get a bit of studying done.

Arc II What We Do to Each Other

Chapter 16:

As it would turn out, Janus and Virgil did not get in trouble for hooking up the old phone to Virgil’s integrator, mostly because it wasn’t really a mistake on their part. The phone cleared all virus checks that the tech people both from the university and the TPI ran on it. The phone should have been clean and should not have caused an issue.

In fact, they were still trying to pin down the code on the general university server. They could tell that something was mucking about on the system but what or how was a mystery. This also meant that there was no telling what information had been compromised and considering how many things Silver Mountain had its hands in, that was… a bit worrying.

 Another worrying thing was there was suddenly more activity of late at the TPI. There were more time distortions popping up every day. Usually they would be few and far in between. There had been 3 total recorded the year before, but over 12 in the last week. Some of them were fake like the one Janus had investigated, but some of them were real. It painted a distressing picture and also was a drain on their resources. Khalid was actually looking to advertise positions to hire new recruits which was something she rarely did as she liked to keep appointments to the TPI in house.

 They’d even loosed the number of field agents needed for each mission and Janus and Remus had been splitting up just to get everything done. Today, he and Remus had thankfully only two missions scheduled for the day.

“Are we going together or separate today?” Janus asked Remus.

“Think they’ll burn me at the stake for being a witch if I go alone to either of them?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Probably. I think we’re getting a bit late into the 1700s for that in Cuba, but I have no idea about Mesopotamia.”

“Let’s just go together. I did not like almost drowning yesterday because I was the only stranger in town when the weather was going wonky.”

“Surely it isn’t because you opened your mouth. Ever.” Janus said dryly.

“How was I supposed to know he was the local clergyman’s son?”

 Janus rolled his eyes. “On second thought,” he said, pushing a button on his desk to choose Cuba as he next mission, and standing up. “I don’t want you coming with me.” Yet, he did not protest when Remus also signed up for the Cuba mission and he waited for him by the office door before going to talk to Rhi.

Rhi was a bit frazzled when which meant quite a bit as she was usually incredibly put together. Remus didn’t even seem inclined to tease her today.

“Okay,” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. She flipped through some documents on her desk. “Picani and Clockson. Camaguey Cuba 1755. Do you know Cuba?”

 “Uh,” Janus said. “Yeah?”

“Like you’re reading the things, right? I don’t have to babysit you, right? You got it? The Seven Year War was happening, but it won’t affect you much as it hasn’t really hit Cuba. It’s the middle of the Camaguey Carnival. Everyone will be everywhere and there will be chaos so as long as you don’t really fuck up you should be fine. Um…apparent races.” She looked up at them and studied them each for a moment as thought looking at them for the first time despite having known them for years. “It’ll work. Go to costuming.”

“Shouldn’t we…” Janus said, “sign things?”

 “…Yep,” she said, fiddling with her desktop and then sending documents over to their side to sign.

Janus and Remus both did before sending them back.

“Great. Good.” She stood and grabbed some things from behind her. “You can go.” She sat back down as they took their things and Janus noticed a message pop up on her desk. She looked up at Remus looking exhausted. “What?” she asked.

“Just open it,” Remus said.

Rhi tapped it and a photo opened.

“I got her a new mouse toy!” Remus said happily as Rhi looked at the picture of Diesel Fuel attacking a cloth mouse.

“That is… appreciated Agent Clockson,” Rhi said. “Now get out.”

 They did, leaving to get their costumes on and checked. Costuming was just as busy and frazzled as Rhi had been and they actually had to wait for decon because there’d been a mix up with the agents leaving before them. They landed in Cuba without issue. Janus could already hear the festival in full swing outside the small building they’d were in. Remy was standing there with a very not time appropriate mug of coffee.

“Sue me,” Remy said when Janus raised an eyebrow at it. “Please just… get in and out without causing trouble. Seriously. I don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”

 “We’ll do our best,” Janus assured.

Remy pulled his sunglasses down to look at him. He looked exhausted. “God please do more than your best.”

Janus nodded tightly. “We’ll be in and out,” he said, already glancing at his timepiece. It had been disguised as a golden bracelet which made it a bit harder to actually use, but wrist watches wouldn’t be invented for more than a century, so they’d have to make do. “The time distortion, if that’s what it is, should be in the middle of town. Let’s go.”

He and Remus exited the building onto the packed city street.

 Janus was immediately bombarded with all types of sights, sounds, and smells. There were many colorful articles of clothing and costumes as people went every which way along the street talking to other members of their community, playing instruments, and dancing. There was the sound of people speaking Spanish, still mostly almost pure Castilian Spanish with perhaps a bit of influence from Taino as the Haitian revolution had yet to push the Creole language over to Cuba. People must have been hard at work cooking different dishes for the carnival as many different spices wafted through the air. It was sticky hot considering it was the middle of June in the tropics and Janus was immediately sweating despite the temperature appropriate clothing he’d been outfitted with.

 He glanced around their immediate area, just scoping out the crowds. His eyes were immediately drawn to one person near them.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said out loud when he saw Pat. Remus looked in the direction Janus was.

Even if Janus didn’t recognize him the moment he laid eyes on him, he probably still would have ended up staring as he was the only person in the area who clearly did not know how to do the dance he was attempting.

Remus snorted and Janus shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. “Well, would you look whose boyfriend’s here,” he said to Janus. Make that firsthand embarrassment. “Has anyone told him the Mambo wasn’t invented until the 1900s and also that’s not how you do it?”

 Chapter 17

Pat stopped dancing the moment he saw Janus approaching him, but he still bobbed cheerfully ( and unrhythmically) to the music. “Hi Janus,” he said pleasantly.

“You just have to rub it in, huh?”

There was a flash of confusion across his face, but then he smiled. “Well, I know where in our relationship you are. How was France?”

“You’re a bastard.”

“You stole the phone,” he laughed.

“You stole the bomb,” Janus countered, “and you wanted me to steal the phone. You booby trapped it.”

“No,” Pat correct, putting a finger up. “We have security on my phone because in high school I once forgot it in the school locker room and long story short, the three of us ended up in a lake. So, then Lo made sure I always had some sort of tracker on it. When I started time traveling, he updated it and when I met you we updated it again in case there was ever an opportunity like that. Lo calls it using our weaknesses to our advantage.”

 “He’s a bastard too,” Janus growled.

Pat just laughed.

“Is someone talking about me?” Remus asked, stepping over to them. Janus rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Pat said, blinking at Janus’s partner for a moment. “Remus.” He hesitated slightly. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” Remus asked. “Uh, I’m doing good. A little stressed out with work, but fine.”

“Good,” Pat said with just a little too much heartfulness to it.

“What?” Janus asked, eyes narrowed at Pat. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Pat asked. He met Janus’s eyes briefly and it made panic surge up Janus’s spine because the look Pat was sending him wasn’t one that said he was playing dumb. It was a warning.

 Oh, Janus did not like this. That look told Janus Pat had some foreknowledge that he absolutely could not tell Janus about without messing up the timeline spectacularly. This was why this mess the two of them were mixed up in was so bad, but it seemed Janus did not have much of a choice when it came to Pat.

Despite how bad of an idea he knew it was, he still wanted to push, because whatever Pat was hiding could be very, very bad and it had to do with Remus. There were so many reasons Pat could be acting like that around Remus, but the worst ones were definitely the ones on his mind. Death, injury, illness. They were all possible especially in their line of work and especially with how time was being screwed with right now. And Pat knew. He knew exactly what the answer was, and oh did Janus want to push.

Experience knowing what worse things could come out of having foreknowledge made Janus bite his tongue.

 “So, what are you two doing here,” Pat asked, and Janus unhappily let him change the subject.

“Oh, like you don’t know,” Janus replied.

“I don’t know,” Pat said innocently.

“There’s another time distortion,” Janus said, “and while you didn’t know what it was the last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure you do now.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was a time distortion here. I can help you if you like,” he offered sweetly.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could find the Flying Dutchman,” Pat told him.

“And so you went to Camaguey?”

“Uh huh.”

“One of the farthest places from the ocean in Cuba?”

 “Is it?”

“I don’t trust you.”

Pat just shrugged. “Well, if you don’t want my help finding the time distortion, I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Wait,” he said when Pat went to turn away. Pat paused. Janus turned to Remus. “Remus, do you think he’s bullshitting me so I let him wander off and do whatever the hell he’s doing, or do you think he’s bullshitting me into letting him come with us.”

“Hmm,” Remus said, looking Pat up and down. Janus could immediately tell he wasn’t going to get any helpful answer. “Well, if we’re going with the how much do I get to see his, admittedly very sexy, ass criteria.” Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Letting him leave now means instant gratification and a nice full image when he turns away. However, letting him go with us means many more opportunities to get a glimpse, but they’d probably just be glimpses. So, yeah that’s a tough call.”

“You didn’t even bother to give me an actual hidden suggestion with that bullshit,” Janus groaned. He glanced at Pat only to see him hiding his very red face in his hands. Janus blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You got him, Remus.” Janus was surprised. He’d expected a bit more tenacity for someone with Pat’s personality. Of course, Janus was used to Remus, so that perhaps had some effect. Pat made a muffled distressed sound behind his hands and Janus raised an eyebrow. “You really got him.”

Pat flapped one hand around while still using the other to completely hide his face. “It’s just. His face. Saying that. Is weird.”

 Janus could not say that he didn’t feel a slight spark of joy at seeing Pat flustered. After all, Pat’s weapon of choice had often been flirting with Janus in the past. However, he still smacked Remus on the shoulder when it looked like he was about to continue with something likely far more inappropriate. “We are here for a reason,” he reminded. He turned to consider Pat and squinted at him. “You’re coming with us, I’ve decided. I don’t want to let you out of my sights. Don’t,” he said empathically turning to Remus as the man opened his mouth once more.

 Pat had mostly recovered, though his cheeks were just a bit pink still. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Where do we start?”

Janus glanced at his timepiece. “It’s not showing up on our trackers yet.”

“It messed with your tracker last time,” Pat pointed out.

“I know,” Janus said. “Which means it could be another fake one or whatever is causing it hasn’t started yet. If things start going wrong, but it still doesn’t show on our radar, it’s almost certainly a fake one, but some of the fake ones haven’t blocked our technology.”

“Here, I can check,” Pat said.

“Please don’t pull out an iPhone,” Janus begged.

 Pat stuck out his tongue at him, and then smiled. He reached for the bracelet on his wrist and twisted it back and forth a few times before pressing his palms together. He glanced around them quickly to make sure no one around them was watching and then peeled apart his palms like he was miming reading a book.

“What the fuck is that, and how do I get one?” Remus asked immediately. It was innocuous, whatever it was. If someone from this time caught a glimpse of the display, they’d likely assume it was a trick of the light, but staring right at it, Janus could tell it was a map of the surrounding areas with a softly glowing blue light marking their current location. Janus could see no screen or origin of a hologram. It looked like the image was drawn onto the man’s palms, but as he watched, the image shifted to zoom out.

 “There doesn’t seem to be anything major yet,” Pat said wiggling his fingers a bit. The display changed slightly to some sort of colorful overlay Janus did not understand. Pat hummed. “Did you two come from that building recently?” he asked nodding at it.

“Yes,” Janus replied. “How do you know?”

“There’s sometimes a slight temperature change when people time travel,” Pat explained. “I can read it on here.” He tilted his head. “There also seems to be a big enough temperature change in a church a few blocks away that could indicate time travel. Want to check it out?”

“We might as well,” Janus agreed.

“And if it’s nothing, we can get drunk on the communion wine!”

“He’s going to get immediately struck by lightning,” Janus said.

 Chapter 18

“If we see anyone,” Janus said as they entered the church. “You keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me? Remus, do you understand me?”

Remus immediately turned to Pat. “You know, I didn’t grow up Catholic,” he said to Pat who looked at him in confusion. “So the first time I ever entered a Catholic church, you can’t blame me for being a little confused about the whole cabinet thing with a wall between them. After all, everyone was singing about glory to god and what not. So I…”

Janus slapped him. “This is why you were almost burned at the stake yesterday.”

 “Excuse you,” Remus said, putting his hand over his heart. “I was almost drowned.”

“You were almost drowned?” Pat asked, his voice seeming legitimately distressed.

Remus shrugged a smile on his face that caused a Pavlovian migraine to start up behind Janus’s eyes. “It’s one of the hazards of the jobs, and really it would have all been worth it if I’d actually gotten to drown in that man’s…”

“We’re in a church!” Janus cut him off switching from Spanish to Swahili in the hopes that no random passersby would be able to understand him in this time and place. “Don’t talk about lewd sex things. Don’t talk about sex at all. It’s a Catholic church!”

 Remus continued to speak in Spanish with no regard for anything. “But not talking about lewd sex things takes away 3/4ths of my personality,” he pouted.

“More like 9/10th,” Janus grumbled, “and the other 1/10th is just normal stupid.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be mean,” Pat scolded, in fucking English for some reason, “but Remus, honey, you probably shouldn’t be saying things like that right now.”

“No, no, he has a point,” Remus said switching to English.

“He’s my partner, I have the right to call him stupid,” Janus insisted.

“And I love you too!” Remus said in Greek because he was really, truly, stupid.

 Pat looked between the two, but then seemed to accept it, dropping the concerned expression for a slightly amused one. “If you say so.”

“Can I… help you?” A voice asked. All three of them whipped around to see a young boy looking at them and seeming very confused. Which was fair considering that to his ears, they’d just been speaking nonsense.

“We’re here to pray!” Remus claimed, then he turned to wink at Pat and said under his breath in Swahili, “to that ass.” Pat went immediately bright red again, which was doubtlessly Remus’s aim. Janus subtlety stepped on his foot while smiling at the boy.

 “Oh,” the boy said. “Okay.” Thankfully, he didn’t seem interested in questioning the random strangers in front of him further. “I’m going to go back to the celebration now.”

Janus smiled at him. “Have fun,” he said. He waited for the boy to leave through the front door before slapping Remus on the back of the head.

“Ow!” he whined sounding far too pained for how hard Janus had actually hit him.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Let’s just start investigating,” he said.

“Sure, sure, you never let me have any fun,” Remus said, pulling up his wrist and spinning the golden bracelets on his arm. “Hmm…” he said.

 “What?” asked Pat.

“Either I put on the wrong jewelry this morning… or my timepiece isn’t working.”

“Well, then I’m guessing we’re in the right place,” Janus said. He turned to Pat. “Your stuff still working?”

Pat brought up whatever device was on his hands. “Yeah,” he said, “and it looks like something is just starting.” Just as he said it, there was a violent crash of thunder.

“Well,” Janus said. “We should probably find the source and soon. Which way?”

Pat glanced around himself and then motioned with his wrist. Suddenly there was a 3D display of the church in front of them.

 Janus could see immediately where the problem had to originate. There was a swirling mass of some sort of energy centered at the top of the bell tower of the church. As he watched, he saw the picture of the church glitch out a bit. He had a bad feeling about that.

“Is there something wrong with your display?” he asked, or more hoped.

Pat shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so…” The room seemed to shift suddenly underneath their feet. It felt a bit like time travel, but also wrong. The picture on the display flickered harder, part of the building fracturing and dissolving before appearing back in place. The room settled after a moment, but Janus’s stomach did not.

 “Whatever is going on,” Janus said, “We need to stop it right now.”

Pat nodded. “The quickest way up would be that way,” Pat said pointing. The display closed as he did.

“Then, let’s go,” Janus said.

The world was eerily calm as they all started off in the direction Pat had pointed out. In fact, it was almost too quiet.

“Where’s the nearest window?” Janus asked when they came out on the second floor.

Pat glanced at his hand. “There should be a couple a few feet that way.” Janus nodded and left them standing there. When he glanced out of the first window he came to, it appeared to be night. Yet, when he walked to the next window, he saw daylight.

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“Time is fracturing,” Janus informed them. “We need to be careful.” This time distortion was much more intense than any of the other ones the agency had been tracking down over the last few months. It had also come on much faster. Usually there was some time between when the time distortion began and it started having extreme effects on the environment. He was suddenly very glad that he and Remus had not split up today. He was even glad for Pat’s company, no matter how aggravating he may be sometimes. Not to mention, he was glad for the man’s technology that seemed to circumvent whatever was blocking Janus and Remus’s timepieces.

He backed away from the windows and returned to the others.

“Whatever you do,” Janus said. “Don’t let anyone be in a room alone.”

“I know what time fractures are this time,” Pat promised.

“It was as much for the idiot as it was for you,” Janus said.

“You accidently bring a bubonic plague infested rat to 900BC one time and you never live it down.”

“I’d say I should put a leash on you, but you’d twist it into something disgusting.”

“Probably,” Remus agreed.

“Where next?” Janus asked, ignoring him.

“That way,” Pat said.

They walked together to the door he’d indicated. “Please don’t be bullshit,” Janus prayed. He opened the door and immediately got bowled over by a stream of salt water.

 Chapter 19

Janus landed flat on his back, a wave of water splashing over him and then quickly retreating, but still leaving him absolutely drenched. He sighed, looking at the ceiling. “Don’t,” he warned, “say a word.”

Of course, he was with the two most impossible people in all of space and time, so neither of them headed him.

“I thought you said we were far from the ocean, Jan,” Pat said.

“Yeah, Janny,” Remus immediately jumped on board because he was an asshole. “I thought we were far from the ocean!”

“Maybe I’ll achieve my goal of finding the Flying Dutchman after all!”

 “Ooo ghost pirates! I’ve never gotten to fight ghost pirates before. Any good with a sword Patty?”

“My friend has a sword and he let me use it before… but all I did was cut a hole in our couch, and then Lo was mad at us.”

“I mean… just pretend the pirates are a couch and we’ll be good!”

Janus slowly sat up. There was still water on the floor and every so often a wave would crash into the room as though the door frame signaled the edge of a beach. Pat reached down to offer him a hand up and Janus slapped it away.

 “Rude!” Pat claimed, but his eyes were alight with mischief.

Janus shoved himself to his feet on his own power.

“You deserve it,” he hissed. “For all of this!” he waved his arms around.

“Water you talking about. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You are on thin ice.”

He looked down at his feet with a contemplative expression. “Looks like water to me.”

“Arg!” Janus spat, throwing up his arms.

“I don’t sea why you’re screaming, Janus.”

“Yeah,” Remus contributed. “You seem overally emotional to me.”

“Yes, yes,” Pat replied. “Very em-ocean-al.”

“One may even say he’s pretty salty.”

“I know where you live, Remus,” Janus reminded.

 “Alright, alright Remus, reel it in,” Pat said.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but Janus cut him off. “Why don’t the two of you dedicate all of that brain power to figuring out how to cross the literal ocean in the next room,” Janus suggested hotly.

And it was a literal ocean. If one ignored where they were and the fact that there was a staircase climbing out of said ocean about 80 or so meters away. There was sand being washed up across the door frame and a seagull flying in the distance. At least it looked like a nice day in the room with the way the sun was glinting off the water. At least it wasn’t storming there. Yet.

Janus’s head throbbed with the thought of what had to be happening with the time distortion to plop a piece of the ocean into one single room in a church. Usually they’d be calling the TPI for backup or at least for information, but that was a loss. Even if they tried to get out of range of whatever was disrupting their timepieces, time was so unstable, they’d very possibly get dumped somewhere dangerous. It was better to just get to the time distortion as quickly as possible and stop it.

 “Hmm,” Remus said. “I wonder how deep it is. Do you think there are man eating sharks in the water? Or giant jelly fish? Remember that one time I got stung by a jelly fish and almost died?”

“Yes,” Janus said, lips pursed, “and it was entirely your fault.”

“I just looked so squishy!” he declared, “I didn’t know it was a murder blob.”

“I think I have a boat,” Pat said.

They both turned to him. “What?” Janus asked. He was looking at his hands and just hummed in response to Janus’s question. The next thing he knew, Pat made some motion with his hand and a yellow raft started to autofill from his palm. “...Why?” Janus asked.

“I… recently started carrying a wilderness survival pack in my time device.”

 “I’m not going to question it. It’s better than swimming.” By the time the raft was completely deployed, they’d all been shoved into the walls by it.

“Huh, on second thought. I probably should have put the raft in the room before blowing it up.”

“You think?” asked Janus.

Pat glared at him over it. “I never really thought about how to open it in a narrow second floor corridor.”

“Just try to shove it through the door without popping it.”

“Why are you looking at me?!” asked Remus.

They managed to somehow squeeze the raft through the door into the other room after a few minutes.

 Pat squinted at the tottering raft he was holding to the door frame. “After you,” he offered.

Janus glared at him.

“You’re already soaked!” Pat defended himself.

Janus sighed and very carefully climbed into the raft. It tottered dangerously, but he didn’t immediately fall out, so that was a plus. The other two of them slowly also climbed onto the raft with him. They then sat in it for a few seconds. “Is there an oar?” Janus asked.

“Oh right!” Pat did something else with the device in his hands and an oar slowly unfolded from his hand.

“Seriously, I want one of those,” Remus said.

 “Let’s just get out of here,” Janus said, snatching the oar. The staircase luckily wasn’t too far away. They probably could have swam it if necessary, but the raft gave them some modicum of protection. Everything seemed to be going in their favor, which of course meant everything was about to go incredibly wrong.

They were about halfway across the water when the entire world around them rumbled.

“…I hope that was a giant jellyfish,” Remus said.

It was unfortunately not a jellyfish or any sea creature at all. The world around them fractured, the ocean seeming to split right down the middle so the water right of the staircase was 6 feet higher than on the left. The sky flashed red and yellow before the water split completely like Moses splitting the Red Sea.

 There was a millisecond as the split widened until it was only a few feet from them, to decide whether when they landed they wanted to be on the side with the water or on the side without it. On one hand, going towards the side without water could mean they fell to their deaths or the water crashed back down on top of them when it settled. On the other hand, if the fissure was closing or shifting to a new area, it was very possible that they’d end up trapped in the middle off the ocean with no connection to the church.

 Well, the best chance to actually get to where they were going was probably the side without water. It seemed everyone had the same idea at once because as he grabbed for both of them, they both grabbed for him and they all went tumbling off the raft into what could have very well been a bottomless pit.

Janus learned after a couple of seconds of free fall, that it was definitely not a bottomless pit. He landed hard, flat on his back and saw stars. The next moment something landed on top of him, squeezing all of the air out of his lungs.

 Something else fell half on top of his legs.

“Ow,” Pat said from near his ear.

“Yeah, well you’re the one on the top,” Janus groaned though his teeth.

“Wow, I never took you for a bottom, Janus,” Remus said from near his feet. Janus kicked up his legs into whatever part of him was on top of Janus and he gave an “oof.”

Pat snorted a bit and Janus glared at his… shoulder? He shifted around a bit so he was less thrown across Janus and more just on top of him. Janus blinked. There was a wooden ceiling above them, so that was a good sign, though there was also a giant dark hole of nothingness directly above them which was not as good.

 Janus moved slightly. He could tell he was going to be bruised later, but he didn’t seem seriously injured. “We should,” he started, but was interrupted as the hole above them pulsated and dumped a bunch of sea water.

Pat shrieked as they were all drenched with the chilly water. Luckily, they seemed to be on higher ground because, while water kept pouring out of the hole, it drained away just as quickly instead of drowning them.

Water still hitting his back relentlessly, Pat peeled his head up to look Janus in the eyes. A giggle bubbled out of his mouth.

“It isn’t funny,” Janus informed him. Pat just giggled more, leaning his head against Janus’s chest and cackling.

 Janus just rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, this is an entirely appropriate reaction. Thank you for your contribution to our very important mission.”

Pat seemed incapable of stopping laughing completely, but he did calm himself enough to peel himself off Janus’s chest and lean forward so their noses almost touched. “It’s hilarious and you know it,” he claimed.

“In what way is this ‘hilarious’?”

“In many waves,” was the joy filled answer.

“You’re horrible.”

Pat hummed. He hadn’t moved to get off of him even though they really should be moving in case something worse than water came through the hole in the ceiling. He hadn’t even moved his face away.

“No, no, you two just tell me when you’re done being gay for each other,” Remus interrupted. Janus was surprised to see he’d stood up at some point and was now hovering over them.

 Janus flipped him off even while Pat laughed once again. Pat finally drew away and rolled off of him so Janus could sit up. Pretty much everything hurt when Janus moved, but he was able to stand up, so he was probably fine enough. “So,” he said looking around. “Where are we now?”

 Chapter 20

Janus looked around himself while Pat booted up his map to try to figure out where they were. They were in a small room that may actually be considered a large landing as there were staircases on either side of it. The water that was still coming out of the ceiling was running down the staircase that led down from the room.

 Something was stopping the water, creating a pool on the steps that was already about to overflow into the room. With the speed the water was flowing, they should have enough time before the room completely filled up with water and drowned them.

Janus wondered if they were in the church or not. It was not out of the question and there was church like décor around them, but who knew? He could feel a strange vibration in the ground and the one window in the room shone with green light.

“Hmm,” said Pat. “That looks not good.” He’d projected his map so they could all see everything.

 The map itself was moving. Rooms were phasing in and out of focus and fracturing down the middle. One room was even spinning lazily around in circles. Janus could see the room they were in. It was connected to the bigger blob of rooms, and there was a black line connecting it to another room from the top which was obviously the hole spewing water at them.

“Well, at least the time distortion is still coming from the bell tower,” Remus said. Janus shot him an unamused glance. Said bell tower was currently upside down and shuddering as well as divided from any other room by at least two inches of empty space.

28842

“How are we supposed to get there?” asked Pat.

“We don’t,” Janus said. “It’s literally impossible.”

“There has to be some way,” Pat argued with a frown.

“If we try to use time travel, we’ll definitely get shredded by the warping time and space around it and walking there isn’t an option. There aren’t even any entrances!”

“Well, there were at one point.”

“Yeah, before,” he gestured wildly to the ceiling that was still pouring water into the room.

“So?” Pat asked.

“’So’?! What do you mean ‘so’?!”  

Pat shrugged. “When one door closes, cut another one.”

Janus froze and looked at him for a long moment. “Where the hell did you hear that?”

Patton raised an eyebrow. “You.”

“I don’t think like that anymore.”

“Well then I guess we’ll die,” Pat said lightly. “Of course, that’ll make an even worse time loop considering I’ve met older versions of you.”

“Fuck,” Janus spat. “Fuck. Fine. Give me a minute to think. Not that I even know if we have a minute because,” he gestured once again to the room.

 “Okay,” Janus said. “The room with the source of the time distortion is separated from us by a swirling pool of dark nothingness and there is no way to get to it. But, the only way we’re going to stop the distortion from ripping apart time and killing us as well as probably a bunch of other people is to get to it. That is an impossible situation. There is no solution. That door is closed to us. What other ways are there to look at it?” He looked at the visual representation of the rooms. One of them suddenly went spinning out and his eyes tracked it. We need to be in the same place as the source,” Janus said. “That is fact, but we don’t have to get to it.”

“Um, what do you mean?” Remus asked. Pat shushed him.

 “If you want thing A and thing B to be in the same place, there’s more than one way to do it. If you can’t move thing A to thing B, you might be able to move thing B to thing A. Pat, you have a working time device. We can’t travel with it because that would kill us, but if we can make it do a stutter warp, it could draw the time distortion to it.”

“You…” Remus said. “Want to create another time distortion in hopes that the original time distortion will be pulled into this room?”

“Yes.”

“Well, sounds good to me!” Remus said.

 He maybe had expected Pat to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he moved his hand to his wrist. There had been nothing there before, but when he touched down on his wrist with two fingers, there was suddenly a metal bound around it that Janus immediately recognized from the times he’d seen Pat’s timepiece before. How was it made invisible? He shook the thought off as Pat offered it up wordlessly. Janus took it and Pat leaned over his shoulder to look.

Despite the fact that the device looked nothing like his own, the interface was surprisingly convenient. “I assume you have safety setting to prevent a stutter warp,” Janus said. “How do I turn those off?”

 Patton pointed at a gear icon on the screen. “You put it under your normal settings?” he asked.

“I have to put in my password or use my fingerprint!” Pat defended.

“It doesn’t matter right now.” He navigated through the settings. He was interested to see that there were many different saved default security settings, but he didn’t get much of a chance to read what all they did. He just turned them all off.” It popped up with a message to put in the password and Pat pressed his fingertip to it. Another message popped up warning them that turning off these settings could cause damage to the machinery, the person using it, and time itself. Janus pushed “okay.” A message popped up that asked “Continue” and Janus pressed “yes.” One last message popped up that said “Security functions disabled.” Janus pressed “okay.”

 “Anything else I’d need to disable?”

“Nope,” Pat confirmed.

He navigated back to the main screen and then bought up the manual travel input screen. Yet another message warning him not to do this flashed and Janus once again ignored it. He copied the space time coordinates that the device said they were currently at and put it in the ‘travel to’ location. “Well,” he said. “Here it goes. Let it be known that if I die, it’s my own fault for allowing Remus into a church.”

“Really?” Remus said. “That’s what you’re choosing to be your last words?”

Janus just raised an eyebrow.

“Love you too Janus.”

Janus nodded and hovered his finger over the travel button. He quickly mashed his finger to the button 22 times.”

 The device warmed in his hand enough that he almost dropped it. Time literally froze for a few breaths as whatever Deity that may or may not exist processed their stupidity.

Janus was not a scientist or technician, but he had a good idea of how badly they were fucking up right now. The timepiece was attempting to travel over and over again to the exact same place and time. This basically punched a small hole through time, that if left unfixed would grow and disrupt space time all around them. As it was, their current position, all gathered around it and staring at it while one of them had it literally in their hand, was perilous.

 There was a rumble under their feet and the world tilted on it’s axis. The all went tumbling down in a pile of limbs to new floor of the room which had once been a wall.

Of course, this change of gravity caused the water that had been building up in the staircase to dump on top of them.

Janus would have cursed, but he was too busy being under the water. He maneuvered himself away from the other two flailing bodies and managed to shove his feet against the wall turned floor. His head popped above the water in time to see the ceiling, or well, it would be the opposite wall, rip in two and the other walls/floor/ceiling start to fold in.

 “Give me a boost!” Pat called over the noise of water rushing and walls crunching.

“Give you a boost where?” Janus asked.

“Up!” Janus wasn’t sure if ‘up’ really existed right now, but he still nodded. The water was a few inches over his head, so he held his breath and interlaced his hands so Pat could put his foot in it. He was shoved down into the water, but it gave Pat enough leverage to shoot up out of the water. When Janus resurfaced, he saw that the man had grabbed ahold of the crumbling wall and was pulling himself up into what for all appearances seemed to be absolutely nothing.

 It took a moment, but then Janus blinked, and he was suddenly in a new room entirely or perhaps it was the same room. He honestly didn’t know at this point. Remus was next to him. He couldn’t recall if he’d been there before the shift or not, but they were both treading water. Pat crashed into the water next to them. Janus’s wrist buzzed as his timepiece came back online. “Got it!” Pat declared when he resurfaced, holding a device up. It looked almost the same as the device they’d found in France, but this one was definitely different if it was able to cause that much chaos that quickly.

 Janus looked around and pointed at what appeared to be a set of stairs. The three of them swam over and pulled themselves out of the water.

“Where are we?” Pat asked.

“Looks like a basement,” Remus replied. “A flooded basement.”

Janus pulled up his timepiece and pushed some buttons to stabilize Pat’s timepiece. It slowly stopped vibrating and cooled. “Here,” he said, handing it over to him. “I suggest you put the safeties back on now.”

Pat nodded and took it.

“We’re still in Cuba,” Remus informed them, looking at his own timepiece. “Same church too, but in the basement and… two and a half centuries later.”

“Remy is going to be pissed,” Janus said.

Remus shrugged. “He’s always pissed… at least at me.”

“Well,” said Pat, slipping his timepiece back onto his wrist. “Thanks for being willing to pool our resources.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Stop.”

“Ah, mi sirenito-”

“I hate you.”

“-never.” He disappeared with a pop which was when Janus realized, he’d never handed over device that had caused the first time distortion.

“…You bastard!” he yelled at thin air as though the man could hear him.

“Well,” said Remus, “that mission went swimmingly.” Janus reached over and shoved him back into the water.

 Chapter 21

“We should probably get out of here,” Janus said, very much not helping Remus out of the water. Remus pulled himself back up onto the staircase and shook like a dog. Janus crinkled his nose as water droplets hit him. They didn’t smell salty anymore, he noted. In fact, there was a broken pipe spewing out water on the other side of the room.

Janus and Remus cautiously snuck out of the church, not wanting to be seen and blamed for the flooded basement. They came out on a city street that was much different than the one they’d entered from.

 They walked down the street a bit, Janus’s eyes scanning the buildings. His eyes caught on a sign and he tugged Remus towards it.

They entered the small paladare and the person delivering food to one of the tables blinked at them both. Right. They were in clothing from the 1700s and were soaking wet. He met eyes with the woman, challenging her to say something. She did not.

They found a seat at one of the tables.

“Ah…” the worker said, approaching them. “English?”

“Ron,” Janus said, “por favor.”

Remus turned and started ordering the both of them food in Spanish. Janus didn’t pay attention to what he did.

 After his second shot of rum, Janus sighed and brought up his timepiece to ping the TPI. The reaction was almost instantaneous from their perspective. Remy all but kicked down the restaurant’s door and walked over to them. “How the fuck?”

“Ah, Remy,” Janus said calmly. “Have a seat. We’re waiting on our food.”

He did, but probably only because people were looking at them. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a long day,” Janus answered, “and I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, it certainly looks like you’re interested in the food,” Remy said, eyeing the empty shot glasses.

“Let’s just say, I’m glad Cuba started letting paladares legally serve liquor a few years ago.”

 It’s clear that Remy wanted to ask them what had happened, but he also was cautious enough not to make a scene here and Janus wasn’t planning on getting up until he’d at least gotten his food. “Why are you soaked, by the way?”

“Turns out the ocean isn’t as far away as we thought,” Janus said.

“Also, a church basement is flooded,” Remus said.

“Fantastic,” Remy replied.

They sat there mostly in tense silence until their food came, and then Remus and Janus ate. Remy slapped down some pesos once they were done and then proceeded to all but physically drag them out of the restaurant.

 They were led to an alley way and then through an old almost hidden door. Remy immediately rounded on them. “What the hell happened?” Remy asked.

“The time distortion caused level 5 time fractures in its vicinity, we almost drowned three times, and the worst person in the universe fucked me over again.”

“To be fair,” Remus said. “He did save our lives before that.”

“I saved our lives first,” Janus said. “I don’t have to be fair.”

“Oh, yeah, Mr. Curl Up In A Ball And Perish. I’m sure we would have been fine without him.”

“Anyway,” Janus said to Remy. “If you want your lump of flesh, I suggest you take it now, because Khalid is going to murder me, and then fire me, and then rehire me so she can put me on desk duty and make me do paperwork until the end of time.”