#like………….. i feel like we haven’t hit it yet lol

[akkivee]

i’ve been thinking for a while now that belial as antagonists seemed to match up fairly well with bat lol. like belial the dude was a lonely crybaby who started a band, much like jyushi, and the dude hitoya helped out hopped between different activities at the suggestion of friends before deciding what he really wanted to be, also similarly to hitoya.

but then that begs the question: what about kuukou’s???? i wasn’t really sure about the angle myself since kijitani i think his name was, was being raised by his grandmother who was so worried for him as he was out on his own and behaving out of the norm, she was brought to tears. as far as we know, kuukou doesn’t have an adult female presence in his life and shakku sure wasn’t crying because his son left home suddenly lmao

but it hit me the other day, there is one person who did cry because kuukou suddenly started acting strange and left and that’s ichiro!!!!!! so i think the ra➕ team snuck in another focus on kuukou and ichiro’s relationship thru kuukou’s missing person’s case lol

[changbunnies]

Moonstruck (18+)

♡ Pairing: Changbin x Ghost Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: very loosely inspired by corpse bride, horror in a goofy + silly + fluffy sort of way, ghost / human relationship, love at first sight vibes, smut, takes place vaguely during a time where ppl still use landlines more predominantly than cellphones

♡ Word Count: 6.5k

♡ Summary: Changbin is a scaredy cat– and despite that, he likes to read to the deceased in the cemetery, likes to help the souls that may linger there feel less lonely, likes to let them know they aren’t forgotten. His poems of choice are sweet things, full of love and joy– and his utterances of true love stir you; a soul who died before knowing love, and who craves it even in death. And Changbin decides, then and there, that he wants to give you what you couldn’t have in life.

♡ Warnings: discussions about death ofc (reader is quite literally dead and a ghost lol), i thought making reader the ghost instead of bin would be a fun lil twist as that usually isn't the case in fics like these? just wanted to try somethin a lil different :')

♡ Smut Warnings: sweet + tender smut because i'm a yearner for bin first and foremost!, no intended dom/sub dynamics but i did write a lot of bin begging so :), pet names (baby, honey), exhibitionism, voyeurism, some nipple play, mutual masturbation while cuddling

♡ Notes: my kinktober opened up dark but we are returning to standard form with my precious sweet binnie!! i did originally have something dark planned for bin too but i scrapped it pretty early on cause it didn't feel right lol i couldn't do it!! also the poem binnie is reading at the beginning of the fic is "since feeling is first" by e.e. cummings!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Changbin curses the autumn sun for setting so early– why on earth is it already so dark at 6 o’clock?!

The full moon hangs over him, and gosh, he wishes he could've gotten here earlier in the day– maybe then he wouldn’t still be here, in the local cemetery at night, with nothing but his poem book in hand.

He wishes even more that he at least had a flashlight– but the batteries were drained in the one he has sitting in his car's glove box, and it's not like he can leave spares in there; that's dangerous! So all he can do now is keep turning in the moonlight, trying to get it to hit the page of his book just right so he can keep reading. 

Perhaps the reason he's here is silly, but Changbin fully believes in ghosts. Well, to be more precise, he thinks that there are many souls in the world, and that not every soul is here physically. 

Most souls, he thinks, depart for a better place when their flesh dies, but he also thinks there are many that don’t– many that stick around because there is something they still wish to do, or because they have someone they still wish to see. 

That’s what always brings him here when he can spare a moment from his busy life. Because he believes that if spirits do still linger in this world like he thinks they do, if they haven’t yet found peace and moved on, they must be lonely. 

It must be sad– to exist in the world you once knew, but be unable to interact with it the way you used to. For others to no longer be able to see you, touch you, or hear you.. He doesn’t want anyone, alive or otherwise, to feel forgotten or ignored. And if he can make a difference somehow, in whatever small and silly way it is, he’ll do it; because he’d want someone to do it for him. 

Naturally, he didn’t intend to still be here at night; he just got caught up at work, and arrived here later than he typically would. But still, he didn’t want to just turn around and go home– he promised last week that he’d come back today to read! 

And maybe ghosts, or spirits, or whatever you want to call them aren’t real; maybe he spends his time here reading to nothing and no one. But if there’s even a chance that someone can hear him, and who looks forward to the days he returns to keep them company, then he has to keep his promises. 

Still, he’d be lying if he said he isn’t more than a little freaked out right now. He’s been here during the day plenty of times, and you’d think that’d mean he wouldn’t be scared of the place at night, but oh, you’d be so sorely mistaken. 

He jumps every time the crisp, freshly fallen autumn leaves rustle from the wind, and from every shadow cast from the newly bare tree branches. He constantly glances over his shoulder, alerted from every small noise, whether it be an owl hooting or a cricket chirping.

And when a black cat appeared out of nowhere to bump against his leg, he let out the shrillest shriek before erupting into a fit of sneezes. He even jumped out of his skin from accidentally kicking a can while walking– and why is there litter in a cemetery anyways? Whoever left their trash here is so disrespectful! 

Suffice it to say, Changbin really wants to get out of here– but there’s only one more batch of graves he hasn’t read over yet, and he doesn’t want to skip them over. It wouldn’t feel fair to them, especially not if they're waiting for him– the last thing he wants to do is disappoint someone.

“H-Hi everyone! Changbinnie’s back to read again, uhm– s-sorry I came so late, I’ll still read to you like I promised! J-Just give me a sec,” he says, trying to temper the fear in his voice as he continues to adjust the position of his book in the moonlight. Finally, he finds the perfect position for the moon to make the words in his book clear, and for the shadow he himself casts to not obscure them.

He takes one more tentative glance around, takes a breath to settle his nerves before he clears his throat to start. And thankfully, the fear does naturally start to dissipate a bit as he reads– serves as a good enough distraction from his eerie surroundings. "Since feeling is first, who pays any attention to the syntax of things, will never wholly kiss you. Wholly to be a fool while–"

Changbin pauses when he hears an unfamiliar sound, goosebumps erupting all along his skin as he looks up from his book. It was a soft, light and airy sound– almost like a voice, though he’s certain it couldn’t have been; because when he looks around, he doesn't see anyone. He’s as alone as he’s been from the start; so he assumes he's just psyching himself out, mistaking the steadily blowing wind for something it isn’t. 

"Aish, it's nothing! Stop scaring yourself!" he whispers to himself before he continues to recite the words on the page. But he pauses yet again when he hears fallen leaves crinkle and a brittle tree branch snap just feet away from him. It spooks him good, it does– and he lets out an awkward laugh at himself when he realizes it was the black cat he saw earlier that made the sound; hopefully it keeps enough distance that he doesn't get the sneezes again.

Looking away from the cat that is currently working overtime to fray his nerves, he turns his attention back to his book. There's only a tiny bit of the poem left to go, and Changbin is confident he can get through it! No more being a scaredy cat over the little things, no more trembling breaths and anxious stutters– he can do this!

"The best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids' flutter, which says we are for each other; then laugh, leaning back in my arms. For life's not a paragraph, and death, I think, is no parenthesis."

With a sigh of relief to be finished, he closes his book and prepares to bid the inhabitants of the cemetery, that may or may not actually exist, a pleasant goodbye; and a swear that he's never staying past sundown again. He’ll stay longer next time, he promises, but he has to go home before he loses his mind. 

He really hopes they do exist– he doesn't want to think he stuck around while scared out of his wits for no reason; he hopes someone heard him, and was comforted by his presence. And honestly, he thinks he deserves a pat on the back after all the trials he's gone through in the last 30 minutes!

And as he finishes tucking his poem book in his arm and looks up, he sees someone. Translucent, hazy, floating, just a few feet in front of him– he can see straight through them, can see all the dark trees and short, stone headstones that live in the ground that the figure should obscure were they physically here.

Changbin blinks, almost wanting to cartoonishly rub his eyes and slap his cheeks to make sure he's seeing properly and not losing his mind like he fears. What he does instead is shriek, positively jumps out of his skin once again as he drops his book and falls back on his behind from the fright.

He scrambles backwards, ducks behind a nearby headstone and brings a hand over his racing heart. He takes a few breaths, does his best to calm down before he slowly peeks out from behind the headstone to see if the figure is still there. 

He doesn't see anyone anymore– was he just seeing things? He has been really scared, so he doesn't think it impossible that his mind would start tricking him. But what if he really saw a ghost? The thought makes goosebumps rise on his skin again– God, he needs to go home already. 

"Hello? Can you hear me?" he hears a voice, airy and otherworldly, just behind him. His breath hitches, and hesitantly, slowly, he starts to turn toward the source of the voice. You float there, brows furrowed as you call to him, glowing ever so slightly in the palest shade of blue. 

A chill runs down his spine, and it's not just from how frightened he is– it's because cold air is quite literally radiating off of you. "Y-You– You're– You're a–" You're a ghost, he's trying to say, but the word catches in his throat. It doesn't help that his teeth are chattering now– he can even see his breath with every word he manages to choke out.

And yes, he already thought ghosts were real– the whole reason he comes here to comfort spirits is because he believes in them! But he’s never actually seen one before, nor heard their disembodied voices calling to him. And now that it’s actually happening, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

“You can hear me! I knew it! You can see me too, can’t you?” you exclaim joyously, clapping your hands together in utter delight. You’re less transparent than before, your form less blurry– but you don’t look solid either. If he stuck his hand out to touch you, he’s sure it’d pass right through you. 

He swallows as he watches you dart side to side in your glee, the motions so smooth it’s unnatural. You look around his age, he thinks, though it’s impossible for him to tell exactly how old you are– or rather, were. Your hair is wispy, floats around you in a way reminiscent of being underwater; your long dress does too, light and delicate in appearance. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you, Changbin,” you tell him earnestly as you float down to his eye level, “I didn’t mean to, I just got so excited you could finally hear me– I'm so happy!” 

“You– you know my name?” Changbin questions, bewildered– honestly, he feels like he’s going to pass out. “Of course I do! You come here every week to read to me,” you reply with a giggle, as if the idea that you wouldn’t know his name is a silly one.

“O-Oh, right, yeah, of course, that makes sense,” he mutters. He’s still shocked, but he’s not as scared as before, and he manages to relax just a little. “You, uhm– you listen to me read often then..?” he follows up hesitantly; and it’s probably such a silly question, but you’ll have to forgive him because he’s never had a conversation with a ghost before. 

“Yes! I love when you come to visit and read your poems, it always makes me happy,” you tell him, adjusting your position so you’re sitting down with him– though you aren’t actually sitting on the dirt like he is, but levitating off the ground.

You introduce yourself after that, smile happily when he repeats it, because it’s been oh so long since someone said your name. “If you’re always here, why couldn’t I see you before?” Changbin can’t help but ask after, because now that the fear is dissipating he’s full of questions he wants to ask you.

“Well, the conditions have to be right! You can’t see me when it’s bright out, and you never stay 'til dark. And now I know why, scaredy cat,” you tease him, giggling when he pouts and huffs. You honestly find it endearing that someone as seemingly strong as Changbin is so easily frightened by little things.

“Hey, you’d be scared too!” he complains, though he can’t help but smile as you keep giggling at him. He never expected to befriend a ghost, but you’re obviously a kind spirit, and your delight to be talking to him is evident. And now that he’s over the shock and the fear, and really looks at you, he thinks you’re pretty too– beautiful, even. 

Is that strange? Maybe; but you are still a person at the end of the day. You float, you’re a little transparent, you glow pale blue and cold air surrounds you, but you’re still a person.

And at the same time, he can’t help but feel sad too– death comes for everyone, he knows, but it feels unfair that someone like you is already gone from this world. Someone as young, kind, and beautiful as you should’ve lived a long, full life.

“You need to have strong emotions to manifest, y’know? And the moon helps– when it's full like this, it gives me more energy than I usually have,” you continue to explain when your giggling subsides, and Changbin hums contemplatively, thinking for a moment before he responds.

“You have strong emotions then? Something that keeps you here?” It makes sense that you would– as far as he knows, strong emotions are the only things tethering spirits to the physical world; so if you’re not at rest, it has to be because there’s something within you that feels unresolved, something you needed or wanted but never obtained. 

Tentatively you nod, fiddling with your fingers and averting your gaze slightly. “I do, but.. It’s– it’s silly,” you mumble, and Changbin’s previous lighthearted, curious expression shifts, suddenly turning serious as he gazes at you with a slight frown.

“If it mattered to you– if it still matters to you, it’s not silly,” he says, and the sincerity in which he says it would make your heart race if you were still alive. If you’re being entirely honest, you’re in love with Changbin– and that’s part of the problem.

When you were alive, all you’d ever wanted was love– to meet someone that knocked you off your feet with just a glance, someone sweet, sincere, and tender. Someone that you could marry someday, maybe start a family with while living together in a quaint little idyllic house. 

But that never happened– and the sense of despair and unfulfillment you felt from having your dreams taken away from you are what kept you here. You didn’t know what to do when you realized what happened to you– spent your days wailing in frustration and sadness to the few other spirits inhabiting the cemetery with you over the unfair circumstances. 

What were you supposed to do? How were you supposed to find peace and move on? Maybe the only way would be to learn to accept it– accept that your dreams would never come true, and just let them go. You didn’t want to, but if you kept holding onto them, who knows when you’d finally move on from this world? 

And around the same time you were grappling with such thoughts and feelings is when you first saw Changbin, who came to the cemetery for no reason other than to give you and the other inhabitants some company. And he wasn’t talking only to you, but it always felt like he was– like every word that left his lips was entirely for you alone. 

“I’m here for you, you’re not alone as long as Changbin is here,” “This poem is my favorite, I hope you like it too,” “Did you have a good day today? It’s okay if you didn’t– Binnie’ll hopefully make it better!” 

That’s all it took, really– and suddenly, you weren’t bound to this world because you never knew love; you were bound to this world because you felt it too much. You love him; not just because of his sweet personality, but every little detail about him– from the swoop and curl of his hair, to his chubby cheeks, to his cute, pretty and pouty lips. 

And you long to kiss him, but Changbin is alive, and you very much aren’t anymore– and there’s no way he’ll fall in love with a ghost. Still, you believe him when he says that what binds you here isn’t silly– or that he won’t think so, at least. 

“It’s just.. Well, I can’t have what I want, I know I can’t, but I still want it anyways; like, even though I should just let it go, I can’t bring myself to. I think that’s why I’m still here,” you tell him, deciding it’s best to keep your desires down to their vaguest parts.

Changbin is sweet, and he looks at you with so much care that you’re certain he’d be understanding and sympathetic, but it’s probably for the best that you don’t pour your heart out beyond that. 

“Is there really no way for you to have what you want? If there’s anything I can do to help, you can tell me! I’d do my best,” he expresses sincerely, and though you can’t physically cry anymore, it almost makes you feel like you will. He’s just too sweet, you can’t take it.

“M-Maybe, but I wouldn’t ask for it,” you reply, and his brows furrow a little. “Why not? You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to, but I hope you know that I mean it when I say I'd be happy to help you," Changbin says, smile so patient, gentle and sweet that it if you were still alive, your cheeks would definitely be heating up right now. 

Should you give it a shot? What's the worst that could happen? You're already dead, so it's not like you can die from embarrassment if he shuts you down. The worst he can say is no– and that would be okay too, because maybe with his rejection you'd finally be able to let go of what keeps you here.

“You could.. kiss me?” you say after a moment of hesitation, and Changbin almost squeaks from how surprised he is, blinks at you with the cutest flustered expression you’ve ever seen.

“Th-That’s– that’s what you want?” he stutters out, and even in the low light of the moon, you can tell he’s blushing, the soft pink spreading over his cheeks and crawling up to the tips of his ears.

“It’s– it’s what I wanted when I was alive. To kiss someone I love, I mean,” you answer, and it gets Changbin’s heart racing. Not just that someone as pretty as you, ghost or not, wants to kiss him, but the implication that you love him that definitely wasn’t missed by him. 

“It was the poems, wasn’t it?” he says with a bashful little downturned smile a moment later, and you laugh, in your delightfully light and airy way as you nod. “They helped. But really, I just think you’re very cute– and very sweet.”

It’s a little strange, being complimented like this by a ghost, and learning that said ghost has very deep rooted feelings for him– but he likes it. And maybe it’s a little unorthodox, but he’d be happy to give you what you want; especially if it will help you find peace.

“I’ll kiss you,” he tells you, and it’s not because he feels obligated, or like he should– it’s because, believe it or not, he sincerely wants to. He thinks you're pretty, you're sweet and earnest, and you love him– so who cares if you're a ghost; why shouldn't he kiss you?

“A-Are you sure? You really don’t have to,” you assure him, and Changbin smiles at you as he nods, entirely certain. “I know I don’t have to. I want to kiss you.” Your spiritual heart soars and burns with joy– and slowly, timidly, you return his smile before you float your way closer to him, and reach your hand out to touch his cheek.

He doesn’t feel your touch, not really– just the cold that pours from you. Regardless, he closes his eyes for you, purses his lips and slightly tilts his head the way he would if he were kissing anyone else. And again, he doesn’t feel your lips, but the cold– that is, until the feeling suddenly starts to become fuller. 

Slowly, he can begin to feel the way your hand rests on his cheek, can feel your lips slotted against his. He can feel your other hand resting on his chest, right over his heart, can feel the weight of your body on his lap, and he shivers– not because of the cold, but because he can actually feel you now.

Instinctively, he moves his hands to try and touch you– and is pleasantly surprised to find he can. His hands don’t phase through you like he thought they would earlier– he can feel you under his fingertips, as if you’re just as corporeal as he himself is. And so he holds you close, kisses you slow and sweet, over and over until he’s out of breath. 

“You’re still here,” he can’t help but whisper when he pulls away; he half expected you to dissipate the moment you got what you wanted, though he’s not sure if that’s actually how it's supposed to work. And he’s left with a strange feeling– on one hand, he’s sad for you because he really did want to help you move on. On the other hand, he likes that you’re still here, that he can still see you and feel you. 

In reality, you feel like his kiss tethered you even more to the physical world. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been, and instead of it giving you the peace you needed to move on, it bound you here stronger. You're filled with a strong desire to remain here, to be with Changbin, and you feel that it has made you manifest more than you’d ever been able to before. 

You’ve tried many times before, but have never been able to manifest yourself this much; to the point that not only could you be seen and heard, but felt– and whether it’s because the full moon is helping, or because Changbin’s kiss gave you more energy and purpose, or a mix of both, you’re happy.

“I think I like you too much to move on.” you tell him, and he giggles as he squeezes you closer, his nose scrunching cutely whilst he hugs you. 

“I’m sorry– I feel like I shouldn’t be, but I’m happy you’re still here,” he says, and you shake your head, returning his smile as you share the sentiment. “I’m happy I’m still here too.” 

It’s a bit strange, having a ghost for a partner. Sharing a kiss attached you to him; and no longer bound to your grave, but to Changbin himself, now you go wherever he goes. You don’t need to always be right on him, of course– but you do have to be close; and every time one of you steps too far out of that radius, you always end up snapping back to him. 

It’s a generous radius, really– you can go several miles before the invisible tether connecting you snaps you back to his side. It’s more than enough for you to exist in his house while he goes to work– and really, he’s happy to share his home with you; he’s sure it beats staying in the cemetery all day, every day. 

And even when he can’t see you, whether because the sun is too bright in the sky or because you don’t have enough energy to manifest that day, he can feel you– and you make yourself known in little ways. His house is always cold now, but it’s especially cold when you’re nearby. You flicker his lights and turn his tv screen to static to get his attention, or leave a message in the steam from his hot showers on the mirror. 

He’ll get a phantom phone call to his landline, where all that exists on the other line is static– but even if he can’t hear it, he’s sure at that moment you’re saying something sweet. And while he's mostly used to these occurrences now, he'll still jump when he hears a sudden noise before he remembers it’s you; a tapping on the wood of his bed frame, usually– 8 knocks meant to signify “I love you.”

Nights of the full moon are always when you can manifest yourself the fullest and easiest, and you both take full advantage of the time you have before you eventually start to become hazy and transparent again. Tonight is one of those nights; the moon hanging high, bright and beautiful, illuminating his dark room in the same pretty, pale blue that glows off you. 

“Baby, please–! You’re so cold, warn me first!” Changbin cries when you first touch him. He already knows you’re not going to waste any time in getting to touch him when you first manifest, but the chill that radiates off you still jolts him every time.

“You’re just so warm,” you muse happily as you snake your limbs around him, sap him for all the warmth he’s worth under his fluffy comforter, “my big teddy bear.” He huffs, but smiles as he does– he can’t actually be upset with you, after all. 

“You should let me take your warmth anyways– you were so mean, ignoring me all day,” you pout as you snuggle into him, burying your head in the warm crook of his neck.

“Hey, hey! Don’t say that, that’s not fair! You know I couldn’t see you!” he wails dramatically, and you have to make an effort not to giggle, bury your face further into him so he can’t see you smiling.

Of course, you know it’s not his fault in the slightest that he couldn’t see your or hear you earlier today, but you still like to tease him over it just a little– his reactions to it are always so cute. “So mean,” you repeat, your voice muffled by his sweater.

He knows that you’re doing it to get a rise out of him, and you know that he knows. But he likes doing this with you– it’s silly fun, and he loves the precious smile that spreads on your face when he plays along and inevitably dotes on you while begging for your forgiveness.

“Aigoo, my baby is really upset. Guess Binnie just has to make it up to you, huh?” he says, and you lift your head just enough to peek an eye at him. “Tell Changbinnie what you want, he’ll give it to you. He’s really sorry,” he entices you further, and the cute smile he was expecting and loves so much makes its full appearance.

“Want a kiss,” you say, pursing your lips at him in that cute duck shape as you wait for him to comply. He tries to coo at you, but it comes out more like a giggle before he’s lifting his head from the pillow to kiss you, tender and sweet.

“Do you forgive me now?” he asks when he pulls away, and you hum as you pretend to think about it. “Mm, I don’t know. I think I might need another one to decide.”

Changbin fully laughs then, shakes his head and mutters something about you being cute before he kisses you again. He shifts onto his side as he kisses you, making it easier for you to tangle your legs with his. He hisses when your cold toes touch the backs of warm calves, and you giggle an apology, though he knows you’re not actually sorry about it at all.

You always tell him how much you love his warmth, and how it radiates from every inch of him. And he’ll pout and shout, half-heartedly complain when you surprise him by touching him with your cold digits, simply because he knows it makes you laugh; you both know that in reality, he’s happy to be your personal heater.

He shivers when you snake your hands under his sweater; your hands aren’t as cold as they were when you first touched him anymore, but it’s still enough for goosebumps to follow the path of your fingers– or maybe he just has goosebumps because he likes you touching him.

Changbin gasps when you brush over his peaking, puffy nipples, and you take that moment to slip your tongue into this mouth. He moans when you pinch them between your fingers, tweak and twist just enough to have him squirming.

“Honey,” he breathes in a near whine when you pull away from him to kiss over his jaw, and the scar that sits on his chin, while your fingers continue to play with his body. 

“I missed you,” you speak against his skin as you press kisses along his neck, “I heard you earlier– saw you touching yourself in the shower. I wanted you so bad, but I couldn’t do anything about it.” He whimpers at that, squeezes you where his hand rests on your waist. 

Naturally, the fact that you can hear him and see him even when he can’t see or hear you always exists in the back of his mind. Every time he starts to touch himself, it’s something he considers– and he even likes it; likes knowing you’re there, watching and listening.

“I’m sorry, couldn’t help it,” he whines an apology, though he knows he doesn’t have to. You’ve both talked about it, of course– how you like watching him, and how he likes being watched in turn. There’s something naughty about it, and it always leaves him feeling extra desired and sexy when you later tell him what you saw, how much you want him because of it. 

And when he feels a sudden chill run along his body and down the length of his spine, is hit with the inexplicable sensation of being watched, he knows it’s you. It always fuels him, makes him fist his cock faster and run his mouth, hoping you like everything he’s spilling. 

Really, it’s no wonder that you always jump his bones the minute you can. Changbin thinks he’d go insane if the situation were the opposite; if he could see you touching yourself, could hear every little noise of pleasure you release, and not be able to join no matter how bad he wanted to. He’s already desperate for more intimacy with you as is– he doesn’t think he’d be able to take it. 

“Can you do it again? Touch yourself with me right here?” you ask him, and he can’t help the way his face flushes as you continue, “I want you to see me watching you this time.” You can feel the way his heart thumps in response to your request, how it picks up speed ever so slightly before he answers. “Y-Yeah, I can– I can do that for you, honey.”

You meant it when you said you like watching Changbin get off. You like watching his honeyed skin slowly take on more and more pink as he strokes his cock. You like watching his broad chest puff out, his stomach clench, his toned arms flex with every motion he makes.

You like watching the sweat build on his brow, and like to listen to his moans become more breathy and whiny as he gets closer and closer to release. And though Changbin isn’t naked now, you’ll still enjoy watching all the same; because he's beautiful, and handsome, and so utterly perfect when he's feeling good.

He reaches between your bodies, manages to get his pajama pants and underwear down just enough to release his still hardening cock from their confines. He bites his lip as he takes the short length in his hand, looks down at himself as he strokes it slowly before looking back at you.

There’s still enough lingering sensitivity from before that he squirms more than usual, but that’s not all there is to it– it's your attentive stare, the way you gaze into his eyes as he moans before you trail them away to watch him stroke himself, and back again. And you’re so close, body so tangled with his, that his fist keeps bumping into your thigh with each pump of his cock. 

Changbin keens when you kiss him, so affectionate and tender that it makes his head spin. You can feel his thighs twitch as he starts to stroke himself faster, and you pull away to watch for a few moments before you tilt your head back up to kiss him again. He's fully hard now, dripping pre-cum so steadily that the glide of his hand becomes slick and effortless.

He whimpers when you pinch his nipples again, parts his lips so you can slip your tongue back into his mouth. His breathing becomes steadily harsher and uneven, his every moan and whimper muffled by your lips against his. He brings his other hand to your ass, squeezes it as he pulls you even closer to his body, as if the fact that you're not already mere inches apart with your limbs tangled together is enough for him.

And truly, he can't get enough of having you close like this. The way you kiss him, touch him, look at him, all while he’s stroking his cock for you– it really does something to him; makes him feel so good and so desired that he swears he could cum purely from the intimacy of it alone.

“You too, please?” Changbin pleads in a breathy exhale the next time you pull back from kissing him, “Please, want to watch you too.”

“Yeah? You want to watch me?” you smile, almost giggle from the eager nod and the whiny, desperate “please, want it so bad,” he gives in response. You’re sweet to your Binnie, oblige him in an instant, and he watches with eager eyes and bated breath as you dip your hand between your bodies.

Even with your dress already hiked all the way up your thighs, you’re so closely pressed to him that he can’t get a clear sight of your pussy; but watching your hand will be enough of a view for him. He'll be able to tell what you're doing, and that's all he really needs.  

All you can reach while this close and tangled together with Changbin is your clit, and he watches you shudder at the first bit of stimulation to it from your fingers. He mimics what you’d done– alternates between watching your face and your hand, and God, every time your eyes meet again it takes his breath away. 

It’s not the same as if you had a physical body like his– your face doesn’t flush, you don't sweat from exertion, and you don’t grow breathless the way he does, but you feel the pleasure all the same. He can tell from the furrow of your brow, the tremble of your body, and the bite of your lip as you gaze at him.

And you're so pretty, face so close to his that your foreheads touch, that his every breath tickles you. "Oh my god, baby–" he whimpers when you start to moan with him, picking up the pace of your hand when he does, matching his speed.

It makes him dizzy– because when he closes his eyes, he can pretend he’s inside you; pretend that the sloppy, squelching sounds his fist creates are from your pussy instead. He can pretend that when you moan and whimper, it’s because he's stretching you out perfectly and hitting your spot just right. 

He holds your gaze when he opens his eyes again, completely stops watching the motion of your fingers between your legs so he can strictly observe you, take in your pretty face and how you look when you're feeling good with him. It’s intimate, staring at you like this; it makes him squeeze his cock tighter, the motion of his fist quickly becoming erratic as he drives himself closer to release. 

“Does it– do you feel good?” Changbin asks, because even though he knows, he still wants to hear you say it. “Do you like this? Tell me– please tell me.” 

“Feels so good, Binnie, love this, love you so much– you can’t see it, but I always touch myself with you like this, always make myself cum watching you,” you tell him, and he whimpers from your admission, high-pitched and squeaky. 

“Oh, ‘m so close– will you cum with me? Please, need you to cum with me,” Changbin whines and pleads, every inch of his body trembling as he tries to hold his orgasm back long enough to hear your answer. 

“I will, ‘m gonna cum for you, Binnie, just for you,” you promise, reaching your free hand out to cup his face, keeping your eyes locked with his as you watch each other unravel. Your paces are frantic now, bodies bucking together with every combined motion of your hands between your tangled legs. 

You lean forward to kiss him just as your high takes you, and it sends him right over the edge with you, eyes rolling back before they flutter closed. Noises of pleasure muffled by each other’s lips, his hips jolt as his cum spills over his fist, onto your thighs and the hand you have nestled between them. 

He’s sure some of it got on his comforter too, but he doesn’t care– he just keeps kissing you as he comes down from his high, because despite how breathless he is, it's all he wants to do. “I love you so much,” he tells you after another sweet kiss, and you smile at him, tell him you love him too as you wipe the sweat sticking his curly hair to his forehead away. 

You stay like that the rest of the night; tangled together, hugging each other close and kissing tenderly until Changbin’s fatigue prevents him from doing so any longer. He falls asleep like that, holding you to his body as much as he can; and even when your physical form starts to dissipate with the rising of the sun, you stay right against him.

When he wakes in the morning, he can’t see you anymore, but he knows you’re there. He tells you he loves you, and he smiles when you reply with your 8 little knocks to his bed frame. He talks to you throughout his morning, as he always does, because even if he can’t see you, he knows you’re listening. 

And when he decides to go back to the cemetery to read to the other spirits that still linger there, as he promised them he would, you go with him. He saves your grave for last, and you watch as he puts flowers on your headstone before he settles in to read to you; and even when he can’t see you because the sun is just too bright, he can feel you there, sitting next to him and listening to his poems. 

When he’s finished reading, he’ll feel a sudden touch of cold on his cheek, and he’ll know it’s from you kissing him. He’ll smile, place his hand over the spot and tell you again that he loves you. And when Changbin returns home, and the light of the moon helps you manifest again, he’ll kiss you all over and squeeze you tight, with a million promises of forever on his lips.

[hello-there]

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[jeneveuxrein]

safety net [2/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 25.8K

part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)

(yeah, lol)

Self-loathing has always been something you’ve done. It was likely the result of never being good enough for your parents even when you delivered on every single expectation they’ve had for you. 

At this current point in your life, you hate yourself for the situation you blindly agreed to. 

It’s been about a month since Rosie disturbed your peace in the library, asking if you’d teach her how to have sex, which translates into having sex with her. 

You haven’t had sex yet, but you’ve done everything else a lot. Rosie has been eager to finally do it, but there’s something that always stops you. She gets frustrated, but you eat her out, quickly bringing her to an orgasm, and all is forgotten until next time. You sense her getting impatient, but you’re scared that once you finally do, that’ll be it. 

And it’s been nice spending all this time with her. You see her pretty much every day. The only times you don’t is if she has to finish a project or if she has a date with Soohyun. When it’s the latter, you get all broody, but your mood immediately changes when she messages you as soon as she’s home. 

Rosie doesn’t tell you much about the dates unless you ask. She has shared that they’ve exchanged a couple kisses here and there, but she often compares Soohyun to you—too much teeth, too aggressive, too… everything she’s not used to. It goes straight to your ego because how could it not. 

The physical aspect of your relationship aside, you two are actually getting along. You still bicker, but it doesn’t end with her yelling anymore. 

Rosie’s a catch, which is understandable based on the amount of people that want to be with her. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s driven. She’s sometimes in her own world, that you often get lost with her when she rambles on about her day. She’s someone you could see yourself with if it was under different circumstances. 

You hear your name being called, breaking you out of your thoughts as you stare at your computer screen. You see Rosie approaching you with Jisoo, waving as the other woman looks bored already. 

“Hey Rosie,” You greet affectionately. “Jisoo.” 

Jisoo gives you a wave, smiling, as Rosie walks behind your chair. 

“Whatcha working on?” Rosie peeks over your shoulder. 

It’s an expense report that your father sent you to look over, but you’ve been swamped with exams coming up. 

“Just work stuff,” You answer, stretching your arms and letting out a yawn. “Are you done with your project?” 

“Yeah, Jisoo and I were going to grab dinner but I wanted to find you before we left,” Rosie ruffles your hair. “I’ll come by after though?” 

Jisoo makes a gagging sound, earning a glare from the woman behind you. 

“Sure, I’ll be home around 8. I have a game today,” You inform her, checking the time. 

“Oh what? You should’ve told me, I would’ve came,” Rosie sounds disappointed. 

“It’s alright, I probably won’t play that much anyways,” You send her an easy smile. “I’ll see you later.” 

Rosie nods, blowing you a kiss that has you blushing while Jisoo makes the sound again. She grunts when Rosie hits her arm, a quick bye before getting dragged away. 

You watch their figures get smaller, suddenly missing Rosie that you can’t focus anymore on work. You sigh, shaking your head, deciding that you’ll just shoot around before your game. 

--

“Why,” Rosie tears her lips away from yours, tilting her head back that you attack her neck. “Won’t you have sex with me?” She pants when you suck on her skin, careful to not leave a mark because he might see it. 

“Are you in a rush?” You murmur, hand sneaking underneath her blouse to palm her breast. 

“Well—no,” She gasps when you gently pinch her nipple. “I just think I’m ready. We’ve done a lot and I—fuck.”

“You what?” You continue your ministrations on her chest, massaging each breast with equal attention. 

“I’ve been thinking about how you’d feel inside me,” You stop and she squirms underneath you. 

If you weren’t hard enough before, you’re about ready to bust through your briefs. 

You pull back, staring at her. Your mind’s going a mile a minute because you weren’t expecting to actually follow through tonight. 

“I want this with you,” Rosie whispers, sitting up slightly to kiss you on the lips. “If anything hurts, I’ll tell you.” 

Fuck fuck okay. It’s go time and you couldn’t talk yourself out of this. 

“Okay,” You nod, kissing her forehead. “Are you sure?” You have to ask one more time. 

“Yes,” Rosie tugs her blouse over her head, leaving her completely nude. “You’re overthinking this.” 

You are, but for reasons she doesn’t know. You don’t even know yourself. You’re acting as if it’s your first time. 

“Kiss me,” And you do, resting your weight on top of her. 

It’s slow and sensual, her lips soft on your as you trail your hand between her legs. You swipe a finger in between her folds to check and she’s wet. She moans at the contact, rolling her hips for more contact. You repeat the movement just to be sure. You’ve been told that you’re above average in the size department, and you don’t want her to be in any pain. 

Rosie gets impatient, tugging your waistband down to free your cock. You groan when her hand wraps around you, stroking you gently as you kick the material off. 

When you deem her wet enough, you meet her hand with yours, guiding your cock in between her lips. Your body screams at you to enter her, but instead with your control quickly slipping, you run your length in between, moaning at the first contact of her pussy. 

“Stop teasing,” Rosie pants, body trembling beneath you as you rock your hips. 

“I’m sorry,” You’re really not. You don’t know what comes over you, but you lean back, spreading her legs wider as you grip your cock, spreading the precum over. “I need to get a condom.” You reach over to your nightstand, but she stops you. 

“Have you had sex with anyone since?”

“No,” You’ve been too wrapped up in her that any woman that you’ve seen at a party or hooked up with previously hasn’t been on your mind. 

“Then no condom, I’m on the pill,” Rosie says softly. 

You stare at her for a moment, heart pounding against your chest at what she’s offering. Rationale goes out the window because even though you’ve had a condom rule for the past year, you’d love to feel her without one. 

“Trust me?” Rosie bites her lip, nodding, eyes locked at your cock as you rest the head at her entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much.” 

You take a breath, more for your sake, as your cock slowly enters her. Her hands shoot to your hip, stopping your movement instantly. 

You’ve barely made any headway, but from what you’re feeling so far is too much for you to handle. She’s warm, wet, and tight as her body tenses at the intrusion. You keep reminding yourself to go slow because this is still her first time and going at the pace your body is telling you to would not be fair to her. 

“Holy shit,” Rosie gasps as her hands move to grip your arms. “Keep going,” She breathes slowly, catching her breath as you press your hips slightly forward. 

Her heat envelops you, applying a delicious pressure the deeper you go. You glance down at where your bodies are joined and you’re barely halfway there. 

What you want to do is snap your hips forward, completely, but you’re aware of Rosie’s breathing and expressions for any signs of discomfort. 

Though that awareness is quickly getting lost. 

“Are you all the way?” Rosie asks weakly, eyes scrunched closed. 

“Uh, almost?” You’re able to say as you gently rock back and forth to get your cock inside more. “How are you feeling?” 

“It’s—fuck—not bad, but there’s just a lot of pressure,” Rosie breathes out. 

Tell me about it. 

You distract her by kissing her all over, keeping your rhythm as her body relaxes to take more of you in. Her nails scratch at your arms, but you’d take a little bit of pain any day. 

You don’t realize it, but in no time, you’re fully sheathed by her heat, letting out a whimper when you see your cock disappear inside her. 

“You doing okay?” You grunt, burying your face into her neck to keep yourself from cumming right then and there. 

“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, experimenting by squeezing her inner walls around you. 

“You’re so hot,” You murmur, trailing kisses along her neck. “Your pussy feels so good around me, you’re taking me so well.” Her body responds to your words—interesting—as she spreads her legs wider to take you in. “You like hearing how you make me feel, huh?” Rosie can only nod, tipping her head back.

You lean back, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s covered in her slick, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in. 

Rosie screams at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars. 

“Fuck, baby,” She moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “You feel so good.”

You try not to pay attention to the pet name, but it only spurs you on more.

Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having. 

You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming. 

“Chaeng,” Your hips falter as her pussy contracts after a particularly hard thrust, “I’m gonna cum.” 

“Inside,” Rosie locks eyes with you, “Cum inside me.” 

Your resolve snaps as you thrust wildly into her, chasing your orgasm as you feel the start of hers, walls squeezing your cocks so tightly you feel lightheaded. You feel her nails digging into your skin, holding onto like her life depends on it.

“Yes, yes,” Rosie chants like a song as her head snaps back, showing her neck as her body is wracked with pleasure.

Cum shoots from your cock inside her, painting her inner walls white, groaning as you rut into her. Your brain shuts off as you fall on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she wraps her arms around you, placing soft kisses all over your face. You hear a contented sigh from her as you gasp for air. 

When you come to your senses, you automatically kiss Rosie on the lips—a simple, sweet one—as you catch her breath against your lips. She tries to deepen it, but you pull away, smiling softly as you fully take her in. Your heart has never felt so loud. 

“Hi,” You say quietly. 

“Hey yourself,” Rosie returns your smile. 

“You okay?” You glance down where you’re still connecting, hoping—praying—you weren’t too rough. 

“A little sore, but never better.” 

“ I wasn’t too rough right?”

“Nope,” Rosie shakes her head. 

You gently pull out, watching her face wince, but she lets out a quiet moan when your softened cock brushes against her clit. 

“Sorry!” You rush out, falling next to her as she chuckles. 

“Stop,” Rosie lightly slaps your arm, bringing it to rest on her stomach. 

“Sorry,” You mumble again. 

“I feel it leaking,” Rosie states simply, sitting up to look in between her legs. You join her and see a dribble of your cum peak through her folds. “That’s kind of hot.”

“Chaeng,” You groan, the image of what’s between her legs etched in your mind forever. 

“It is,” Rosie nudges your shoulder, laughing. “I’m exhausted. I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow, I have to carry a bunch of things to the studio.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Like actually?” Rosie sinks back into the pillow, turning to face you. 

You nod. 

“You don’t even have classes tomorrow?” 

“I know, but I’ll take you to school with all your stuff,” You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t help her, knowing that she’ll likely be sore because of you. That wouldn’t sit well with you. 

Rosie kisses you on the cheek, smiling before snuggling into you. It all feels very relationship-y, spiking your anxiety because you’re more attached to her than you ever intended. 

And that scares you the most. 

--

“Thanks Eunbi,” You send a grateful smile to the girl sitting across from you as you’re finishing up the group project that completely slipped your mind. 

“It’s fine oppa,” Eunbi laughs. “It’s a low-stakes project anyways.”

���Still,” You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself more than anything. “I would’ve literally forgotten about it if you didn’t say anything.” 

You and Eunbi were assigned as partners for a project that wasn’t worth much towards your grade, but it was supposed to help with the semester project that was worth your entire grade. Eunbi was someone you interacted with frequently, sharing the same classes, but spending the past couple days with her has kept your mind off a certain someone (who you’ve been actively avoiding for the past few days)z

The day after you and Rosie had sex, you did drop her off at school, carrying all her things to the studio so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, people saw you together, creating a small rumor about you dating. It freaked you out because everyone is aware of her and Soohyun that you needed to distance yourself from her. 

Of course, without her realizing what you’re doing. But Rosie was perceptive, so sooner or later, she’ll confront you. 

“Are you doing anything right now?” Eunbi asks after she finished packing her belongings. 

“Uh no?” 

“Did you want to get dinner?” 

“Sure why not,” You shrug because you’re not doing anything wrong, but why did you suddenly feel a weight on your shoulders? 

Eunbi smiles, and she’s pretty. She knows it too, but she doesn’t let that get to her head. She is someone you haven’t gone out with or slept with, so it couldn’t hurt to spend a little bit more time with her outside of school work. 

Right?

Wrong. 

The universe has a funny way of making things happen. 

As you’re exiting the library, Rosie’s outside. You try to avoid her, but she looks up at the right moment, eyes narrowing, and stomps her way over to you. 

“Seriously?” Is all she says, glancing behind you to see who you’re with. 

“What?” Your wall’s up, especially with people passing by. You pray to a higher being that she doesn’t make a scene. 

“You know what,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms. 

“Uh, oppa,” Eunbi says before you could respond to the woman seething in front of you. “We can have dinner another time.” 

You turn your head, and Eunbi has an understanding smile on her face, nodding encouragingly while you feel the metaphorical daggers stabbing the side of your face. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around okay?” Eunbi’s eyes crinkle, nodding politely at Rosie before walking away. 

Once Eunbi’s a good few meters away, Rosie tugs on your arm, “Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve been avoiding me.” 

Okay so maybe you haven’t been handling this the best. You’ve intentionally missed her phone calls and blatantly ignored her messages. You don’t know if it’s because of how you feel towards her, which you’re still trying to figure out, or if it’s because you thought that it was a one-time thing. 

“Can we not do this here?” You offer weakly, and her jaw noticeably clenches. 

“Fine,” Rosie relents, shaking her head, cursing you under her breath before walking towards the parking lot.

--

You’re sitting on the couch, watching Rosie pace back and forth across your living room. She didn’t say much to you on the car ride over except that she was playing music. She grunted a thanks when you opened the door for her, opting to change into more comfortable clothes, leaving her some on your bed in case she wanted to change. 

Other than that, she hasn’t said anything else. 

“Did you want me to cook something?”

No response, the sound of Rosie’s feet continues to shuffle on the hardwood. 

“You know,” Rosie stops in front of the window, back towards you as she looks out at the night city skyline, “I spent the last three days wracking my brain over why you weren’t talking to me.” 

“I can–” Rosie shakes her head, prompting you to not say anything more. 

“I thought everything between us was going well. Yeah we still bicker, but we aren’t arguing like we used to. We had sex. I thought it was great aside from the expected soreness, but then you just ghost me,” Thankfully she doesn’t see you wince. “I was like there’s no way he’s going to treat me like I’m one of his usual fucks, right? He has to have more respect for me.” Rosie turns around, eyes narrowed as she walks towards you. 

“Rosie–”

“I thought about it more and I even talked about it with Lisa and Jennie because I needed someone, anyone really, to make sure I wasn’t going crazy,” Rosie stands in between your legs, crossing her arms. “Lisa being Lisa said that I was overthinking it too much, but do you want to know what Jennie said?” 

“What?” You gulp, gaze locked on hers. 

“Since you and Jennie had a fling, or whatever,” You detect something off in her tone when she says that, but if you point it out, she’ll yell at you. “She said that maybe you had feelings for me.”

Fucking Jennie. 

“I called it absurd because it’s you and me. We set the rules, which for what it’s worth, we broke a couple of them, but that’s the one we absolutely couldn’t break,” Rosie’s eyes narrow, searching your face for truth. You hoped you weren’t giving anything away, but you weren’t too sure. 

Sentences weren’t forming under her intense gaze, so you could only nod. 

“I have to ask, do you have feelings for me?” Rosie asks point blank. 

Yes is the short answer. 

The long answer is much more complicated for you to put into words because you’re admitting to yourself that you do, and that’s what’s fucking you up more. 

“No.”

“No? Then why were you avoiding me? I called. I texted. I had half the mind of just coming over here to curse you out, but Jennie stopped me,” Her shoulders drop, defeated, as the hurt breaks through her façade. 

“I figured you were done with me,” You say softly. 

“Why would you think that?” Rosie kneels in between your legs, resting her hands on your thighs. Your brain short circuits because it’s a very familiar position that your body has become very conditioned to. 

“We had sex, isn’t that what you wanted? To just get it over with?” 

“Well yeah,” Rosie folds her arms, cradling her face in her hands as she stares at you. “But I still want to do more things with you. Soohyun and I have gone on a few dates, but we aren’t anything official.” 

“When he asks you out, that’s when this,” You gesture between your bodies, “Will be over?” 

Rosie nods, “It would make the most sense right? I would be cheating on him if we continued doing things and I called him my boyfriend.”

It stings to hear that more than you thought it would, but you swallow that, pushing it deep down. 

“That’s true. You’ll tell me when that happens?” You ask. You need to prepare yourself for a heartbreak you weren’t expecting. 

“You’ll be the first to know when he asks me out,” Rosie moves, straddling your lap. “But for now, I want to do things with you,” She grounds her hips down, showing you exactly what she wants to do. 

“Yeah?” Your cock starts to awaken, hardening as your hands grip her thighs. “Like what?” 

“Ride you,” Rosie brings her lips to yours, murmuring, “I’m not sore anymore.” 

You groan, mind clouded with her body bouncing on your cock—a very imminent reality as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her completely nude from the waist up.

“Go ahead, Chaeng,” You whisper against her lips, letting her take control of the night. 

And you know you’ll be absolutely fucked out by the end of it. 

--

--

Your hand contacts the flesh of her thigh, a loud smack rings through your room. 

“Fuck baby,” Rosie moans loudly, rolling her hips back, trying to get your cock where she needs you most. 

“Do you deserve it?” You bend forward, kissing her neck sweetly. 

“Yes,” She pants, nodding obediently, squirming in your grip as she continues her movement, brushing your cock in between her lower lips. 

Another loud smack echoes as Rosie nearly screams when you aim your cock at her opening, entering her in one swift thrust.

“Good girl,” You whisper, leaning back before watching your cock pull out just enough where your tip stays within her warmth. 

“Please,” Rosie turns her head around, biting her lip, nodding that she’s more than okay. You feel her walls contract on your tip, a groan falling from your lips before you thrust back in. 

You start off slow, wanting to savor this because whether Rosie knows it or not, this is the last time for this to happen. 

Another month has gone by and Soohyun still hasn’t asked her out. Everyone knows they’re an item, but it hasn’t happened—yet. 

Though everyone—besides her friends—doesn’t know that you fuck her every time after their dates. 

The universe still never works in your favor, so you just happened to be in line to get coffee behind Soohyun and one of his friends before you had class. They spoke loud enough for you to hear his friend ask Soohyun when he was going to ask Rosie to be his girlfriend officially. Curiosity got the best of you, and when Soohyun said tomorrow after dinner, you knew you had to see her tonight. 

It wasn’t out of the routine for you to see Rosie after school, but it was out of the routine for you to ask. You hardly initiated it because you didn’t want to assume, but the few times you did, it was because of your parents’ pressuring you to join them on an overseas trip to Japan to meet with the Nakamuras. You were overly stressed out and Rosie conditioned you to go to her to release any frustrations you had. 

Was she surprised when you walked up to her in front of her roommates? No, because you were friends with them too. Was she surprised when you asked if she wanted to come over tonight? You weren’t sure, but you saw her head tilt, questioning before answering sure. You ignored the smirks that formed on their faces. 

Rosie knew something was up the moment you pushed her against the front door as soon as it shut, dragging your lips across her neck. 

“Everything okay?” Rosie asked in between breaths, letting out a squeak when you grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around your waist. 

“Yeah,” You answered, ignoring your thoughts as you grounded your hips over hers. 

She didn’t ask anything else, moaning softly as you sucked on her collarbone, lifting her other leg to carry her to your room.

Rosie’s inner walls tighten along your cock on every pull out, and she moans, chest heaving as she takes your cock. Her body quivers in your hands as you saw yourself in and out, in and out. 

“Baby,” The pet name falls from her lips. She only calls you it when your balls deep in her, and it spurs you on every single time. “You feel so good.”

“You’re a good girl,” You murmured, pressing your chest against her back. You stop your movements, leaving your length fully sheathed inside, “Show me what good girls do.”

Rosie lets out a small whine, squirming as she moves her body along your cock. Her hips gyrating on yours has you seeing stars, moaning in her ear. Her pussy tightens, rubbing itself over and over, and you scoff, knowing she found the special spot inside of her. 

One hand slaps her ass, and she stops. 

You’ve learned a lot about Rosie this past month. She may mouth off at you a lot in public, but behind closed doors, she’s obedient as ever, tapping into a side of you you hadn’t been since Nayeon. You both soon realized, after a particularly long night together, that it was something you both enjoyed with each other. Whenever she was particularly bratty, especially with her friends there, it would rile you up a lot. 

“Good girls don’t cum first,” You say flatly. “Guess we stop now.” You slowly pull out before her hand reaches for yours, stopping your exit. 

“No no no,” Rosie whines, vigorously shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you just feel too good.”

“Selfish,” You click your tongue, shaking your head. 

“Baby please,” Rosie begs. She squeezes her inner walls on what’s remaining inside her, a dangerous trick she learned quickly, that has you groaning, slipping your length back inside. “Oh shit,” She moans at being filled.

“Fuck fine,” You relent, but you had other plans for her. You stand upright. You reach for her long blonde hair, tugging with enough force to pull her back against your chest. “But I’m fucking your pussy. This,” You snap your hips against hers, “Is mine. Right?”

Eyes widening, Rosie nods enthusiastically, “Yes baby yes.” 

“Mine?” You snap your hips again, watching her breasts bounce. 

“Yes,” She moans. 

“Say it.” 

Her hand turns your head towards her, bringing you in for a lustful kiss, tongues dancing as she moans, yours, into your mouth. 

You suddenly drop the grip on her hair, her body falling onto the bed, taking you with her. You fall on top of her prone form and start hammering into her pussy. 

You hope her screaming doesn’t get you a noise complaint, but if it does, you don’t give a flying fuck. Especially with the pressure her pussy is, squeezing your cock for all you have. 

“Fuck you’re so good,” Rosie bites into her lip, eyes rolling back as she grips the sheets, crumpling in her hand. “So fucking good,” She repeats in between moans.

“You’re being good for me,” Her pussy tightens at the praise. “Keep being good for me.”

Your hands grip her ass, drilling your cock into her, and something snaps inside of you when she screams. 

“Fuck this pussy’s mine,” You groan against her tangled hair. 

“Yours, yours, yours—oh fuck,” Rosie chants, eyes shooting open as her orgasm surprises you both. 

You feel your cock get pushed out as Rosie begins to squirt against your body, and she fucking gushes.

You’ve never made a girl squirt before, and Rosie has never had such a bodily reaction. You feel a streak of possessiveness rolls through your body. You shove your cock through her wetness, and you feel another rush of liquid as you wildly thrust in and out of her body.

“Fuck Chaeng,” You moan, your mind screaming mine mine, as your orgasm hits, shooting your load deep inside her. It must’ve triggered another orgasm because her pussy tightens again, knocking the air from your lungs, as your hips stutter erratically. 

“Jesus fuck,” Rosie pants from underneath you, her body still quivering from her orgasm. Your chest heaves, hands slipping underneath her waist to hold her tightly. “That was…I don’t even know.”

“Yeah,” You grunt, kissing her hair before gently pulling your cock out. You don’t know either because you’ve taken Rosie roughly before, but never like this. She lets out a quiet moan, sighing, as you glance down to the mess between you. Quite a mess indeed. 

Your body collapses next to Rosie as exhaustion takes over, but she quickly snuggles into you, wrapping an arm over your back. 

“Are you okay?” Rosie mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“Are you?” You turn your head to face her. The guilt washing in after you realize how hard you were on her. 

“Well I know for a fact I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m great,” Rosie kisses your skin, mumbling out, “But seriously, are you okay?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask quietly. 

Rosie stares at you, peeking her head over to search for an answer you’re scared she’ll find. She looks beautiful, and you’d love to tell her, but with the way she’s looking at you, something else might slip out. 

“You called me mine,” Rosie says softly, bringing her fingers to comb through your hair. 

“Sorry,” You bury your face into your pillow, embarrassed. “Heat of the moment,” You lie, knowing damn well it wasn’t. 

“Don’t be shy,” Rosie scratches your head. “It was cute,” Giggling softly before adding, “Being yours sounds nice.”

--

You’re at a bar with a few of your friends—Jennie and Lisa included. It’s a normal night out with your friends to celebrate making it another week. You couldn’t really enjoy it like you normally would because you’ve been checking your phone every couple minutes, waiting for a message you know is coming your way. 

“Oppa, pay attention to us,” Lisa whines next to you as Jennie chuckles on her lap. 

“If you want to have a threesome, just ask,” That comment earns you a hard smack on the arm from Jennie, huffing in her now-girlfriend’s lap. 

“Oh fuck off,” Jennie spits out, muttering to Lisa about how much of an asshole you are and why she ever slept with you. 

You check your phone for any notifications and your heart drops when you see one from Rosie. You casually glance to make sure neither of the girls are peering over your shoulder, while you hear them talking to Ryujin on their other side. 

You take a breath, tapping the screen to read the message. 

Soohyun asked me to be his girlfriend. 

You already knew it was coming, so why did it still hurt?

You lock your phone, shaking your head, as you try to process your emotions. 

The time you’ve been spending with Rosie is over, and you couldn’t help but feel sad over it. It feels like when you and Nayeon broke up, but a thousand times worse. It’s not like you two were actually a couple, mere fuck buddies that spent hours together watching shows, eating out with, and a lot of other things in between. 

But then why does it feel like it was more than a fuck? 

You were aware that you were growing attached to Rosie, but you feigned it off that it was just because of how much you saw each other. She became part of your routine, that you couldn’t remember the time when she wasn’t. 

Your attachment clearly was more because you developed feelings, actual feelings that weren’t revolving around lust. So yeah, you like Rosie, hell, you may even be in love with her at this point, but you lost your shot. 

And there probably won’t ever be another. 

You groan, slamming your hand on the table loud enough that it jolts the girls next to you. 

“Oppa, what the fuck?” Jennie asks, concerned with your sudden outburst. 

“I gotta go,” Your voice cracks, walking away before you break down completely.

“Wait!” Lisa yells after you, spurring you to move quicker through the crowd. 

You turn your head before you exit, but you can’t pinpoint their face in the sea of people. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing you lost them, before the thought of Rosie seeps back into your mind. 

You need something—anything—to get your thoughts and feelings off of her. An idea quickly comes to you, one that you regret having, but it’s your only option. 

You pull your phone out, scrolling through your contact list before hitting call. 

The line rings once before a concerned voice answers. 

“Book me a flight to Osaka.”

--

--

It’s been two weeks since you received a message that shattered you. 

It’s also been two weeks since you left for Osaka abruptly, deciding to join your parents to meet with the Nakamuras for another business formality. 

Your parents were surprised that you wanted to join, especially since the last discussion you had with your father had your mother having to step in between before either of you slammed the other into the wall. Your father was excited the moment you showed up at your childhood home straight after the club while your mother looked concerned. She asked if everything was alright, but you brushed her off, not wanting to get into it with her. 

Regardless, they were still happy you joined them. Your father more so as he made the off comment that it would be good to spend some time with Kazuha. 

Which you did, and with Satoshi. 

You gave Kazuha the heads up that you’d be arriving with your parents. She was another person surprised, but she welcomed you nonetheless. You also met her boyfriend, who you quickly became close to, much to Kazuha’s dismay. She’d tell anyone that she was the third wheel by how much you and Satoshi spoke. 

It was only meant to be a weeklong trip, but Kazuha and Satoshi invited you to stay for their school break, to visit Tokyo and Hiroshima. You jumped at the opportunity. Anything that kept you away from seeing Rosie and Soohyun holding hands on campus was what you wanted. 

Satoshi brought his younger sister along too, Kasumi. You thought she was a bit of a hothead, but she was pretty and you were in another country trying to get over someone. 

When it came down to actually hooking up, you couldn’t. Your body physically shut down from anything you two alluded to. Making out had no effect on you. Her rubbing her hand over your crotch felt nice, but not enough for you to get hard. You felt bad, but you explained that you just couldn’t because you weren’t in the right headspace for it. You were so caught up in your feelings with Rosie that you couldn’t perform, no matter how much Kasumi was interested. 

She understood, chuckling because she figured there was someone else, but she thought you were cute so she wanted to at least try. There weren’t any hard feelings, leaving Japan with two great friends. And Kazuha too, you guess. 

You hear your mother call your name out from across the aisle, motioning for you to sit next to her as the plane starts its descent. 

“How are you doing?” Your mother asks once you buckle your seatbelt. 

“I’m fine,” An automated response whenever either of your parents ask, but the difference between them is that your mother has a tendency to prod. 

“How was Tokyo?” 

“It was fun. Kazuha and Satoshi took me around,” You answer vaguely, knowing that if you shared actual details about what you did, she would have a heart attack. 

“That’s great,” Your mother nods, smiling. “How’s Chaeyoung?” 

You freeze. You knew your mothers spoke often, but she had rarely ever asked you about her. 

“I saw Alice a few weeks ago as I was coming home. She mentioned you and Chaeyoung had been spending some time together,” Your mother continues, noticing your sudden apprehension. 

Oh. 

That’s news to you because you didn’t think Rosie mentioned you to Alice of all people. The siblings were close, like really close, so if she talked about you, it probably meant something. But you were trying to get over her, and thinking about what it could mean would drive you crazy. 

“Oh, uh, Rosie’s doing well. I think she’s going abroad for her internship this summer, she just has to decide where she wants to go,” You say. Rosie had been bouncing ideas off you since she heard back. You were there when she received a couple emails, watching her shock and excitement paint her face. She nearly ripped your clothes off when she got accepted into the one she really wanted. 

“Fashion right? Chaeyoung always had an eye for that,” Your mother answers pensively. 

You’re inclined to say something else, but another question is thrown your way before you could. 

“Are you two dating?” 

“Mother,” You roll your eyes. 

“That’s not a no,” She quips, chuckling at your expense. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. You’ve always been fond of her ever since you were kids. We, her mother and I, have talked about it before.”

“What’re you even talking about?” You sigh, shaking your head. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse. You thought your mother wanted you to marry Kazuha, but apparently, she has been talking to Rosie’s mother about you two for years. 

“You don’t remember? You used to come home frustrated with Rosie, whining and grumbling about why she wouldn’t talk to you,” Her words unlock a box you kept hidden away. “It wasn’t until you hit high school where you pretty much gave up trying to be her friend. Even at that point, Rosie would talk to you, or maybe more antagonize you is a better description. You were beaming after those weekly dinners with the Parks.”

You didn’t comment as thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface. 

“Regardless, we thought you two would date at some point,” Your mother shrugged as if what she just said had no impact on you. 

Your mother doesn’t say anything else, opening one of her latest novels, signaling that the conversation is over. 

It really didn’t matter how you felt before, but then why does it feel like it’s making it a hundred times harder to get over her? 

--

You drop your duffel bag on the floor, kicking the door shut, as you’re finally home after two weeks. You plop your body on the couch, yawning from the flight. You have to go to campus tomorrow, which you weren’t entirely excited about. The chances of you seeing her were high, but you didn’t know what she was going to do. 

You’ve been avoiding all messages she sent you, which were a lot. She called you too, leaving a few voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Kazuha caught you staring at your phone one night and made you promise not to open any messages that could derail your trip. It didn’t help Satoshi agreed, saying that it would be like a reset. 

You decide that now was the time to check them. 

Where are you? 

Can you answer the phone? 

I’m coming over. 

I’m outside, can you open the door? 

Fuck it, I know your code. 

Where the hell are you? 

Did you go to Osaka?

All those messages were from the day after Soohyun asked her to be his girlfriend. You saw she texted you everyday for a week asking if you could call her, but her last message broke you. 

I can only assume you went to Osaka. I hope everything’s okay. 

It takes everything in you to not reply now. If you do, you’d just be an asshole to her for no contact for two weeks. You’re an asshole either way, but it would rub salt in the wound. 

You check your other messages and see a few from Jennie, who rightfully curses you out for being a dick and to just respond so Rosie knows you're alive. Lisa sent one too, asking you where you are, but no threats. Jisoo’s message made you chuckle, a simple reply to her or else, was clear enough.

You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it on the coffee table. 

You’ll deal with everything tomorrow. 

--

The first person that approaches you on campus is Jennie. She shoves you, letting her when you know you could overpower her. 

“You’re a fucking ass,” Jennie pushes you again, enough force to lose your balance. 

“What did I do?” You stupidly ask, avoiding her piercing gaze. 

“You know what the hell you did, you better fucking talk to her,” Jennie says firmly, poking your shoulder. 

“If I see her,” You mumble, rubbing the spot. 

“You better,” You wait for her to say more, but the sound of her walking away brings your gaze to her retreating figure. 

Sighing as this isn’t how you want to start your day, you decide to be early for class.

The universe doesn’t even want you to be early because Nayeon stops you along the way.

“Hey I need a favor,” Nayeon asks, standing in front of you. 

“What?” You didn’t mean to sound irritated, but blame Jennie.

“Can you do this photoshoot for Mina and Sana? Their original photographer flaked, and they’re out of options,” Nayeon explains and you know she’s telling the truth. 

“Why me?” 

“I suggested you. I remember you taking photographs,” Nayeon smiles softly. “It’s a project that’s worth half their grade and their professor wants quality pictures.”

“What class is it for?” You prod, adding, “I’ve never done a modeling kind of shoot.”

“Their visual concepts class, I think. I don’t know. All I know is that they texted the group chat, stressing out,” Nayeon explains, shrugging since she was a film major. 

“Fine,” Nayeon claps happily, “Are you going to be there?” You had to ask, needing the time to mentally prepare yourself to spend, most likely, the whole day with her. 

“What? No,” Nayeon shakes her head. “I’ll be in Busan this weekend. Why did you want to hang out with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Absolutely not,” You say firmly and her shoulders drop. 

“Fine whatever,” Nayeon huffs, hiking her bag on her shoulder. “Anyways, I’ll text you the details about it later. It’s tomorrow. I don’t think you need to bring anything, but bring your camera stuff just in case.” 

You nod, thinking about your schedule for tomorrow, which thankfully nothing was planned. 

“Oh,” Nayeon turns her head, adding one last detail before walking away, “Chaeyoung will be there too. She’s styling them.” 

Nayeon doesn’t wait for you to reply, leaving you speechless and even more irritated. 

Fucker. 

--

--

“Let’s take a break,” You announce after checking the shots you just took, satisfied with the outcome. “Fifteen?”

“Oh thank god,” Sana sinks to the ground as Mina chuckles next to her. “If we weren’t desperate, I wouldn’t have said yes.”

“Be thankful I care about this, or your project would be shit,” You answer, flicking through the pictures and thinking of how to change the lighting. 

“Thanks again for doing this, oppa,” Mina squeezes your arm before walking off to sit with Momo. 

You grumble a reply, turning without even thinking, and you accidentally bump into someone. 

“Shit sorry,” You look up to see Rosie five seconds away from losing the grip on the clothes she’s carrying. You immediately drop the camera against your chest, reaching for the items and taking it out of her hands. 

“It’s fine,” Rosie grabs the clothes back without another word, walking towards Mina. 

You sigh, shaking your head, trying not to lose focus on why you’re here. 

When you arrived this morning at one of the parks at the Han River, most of the crew was already present, setting up. You greeted everyone before seeing Rosie with Dahyun, discussing the outfits and concepts. 

“Hey good morning,” You greeted softly as you stood in front of them. 

Dahyun gave you a bright smile while Rosie forced hers, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

“Morning oppa!” Dahyun was as cheerful as ever at eight in the morning on a Saturday. “You could use the school’s equipment if you want,” She nods towards the table with the camera and lenses, “But feel free to use yours, whichever you feel comfortable with.” 

Another woman walked up to Dahyun, asking her to come with her to make sure they were correctly set up. Dahyun excused herself, leaving you alone with Rosie. 

“Chaeng—”

“Now you want to talk?” Rosie’s words cut sharply. “I don’t have anything to say to you right now, can we just get through today?” 

“Okay,” Was all you could say, nodding. You knew she had a lot to say, but neither of you could exactly hash it out with all these people around. 

“Okay,” Rosie nodded, grabbing whatever was near her, and walked away. 

Once Sana and Mina arrived, you quickly switched gears. You pushed whatever thoughts and feelings you had for Rosie aside, and went straight into work mode. 

You had zero experience taking photographs like this. Sure you’ve taken photos of your friends, and Nayeon would force you to take pictures of her whenever you went out. The last person you took a photo of was Rosie when you walked through the streets of Myeongdong a few weeks back. 

That was about as close as you got to taking pictures of people, but working like this was exhilarating.

You and Rosie worked well together too. It made you a lot more comfortable with directing with how seamlessly it went. You asked her opinion on what lighting should be used and she gave feedback that had the shots coming out great. Other than suggestions, your conversations had been minimal.

“You know,” Sana joins you in the empty seat next to you as you sift through the photos on the laptop, “You’re an asshole right?” 

“Okay what the fuck,” You break your attention away from the screen to a smirk on Sana’s face. 

“Chaeyoung-ah talks to us, and she sort of filled us in about this guy, who wasn’t Soohyun, that she had been seeing,” Sana sinks into the chair, glancing at the picture of her and Mina on the screen. “It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together about who she was referring to, and Nayeon confirmed something was going on between you.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You brush the woman off, rolling your eyes as you delete one of the blurry shots. 

“Sure you don’t,” Sana chuckles, “But regardless of whatever was going on between you two, you should know—if you don’t already—Rosie didn’t say yes to Soohyun when he asked her out.”

You don’t let her words faze you as you continue to delete shots you don’t deem worthy. 

“One could only wonder right?” Sana goes on, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Soohyun’s a good-looking guy, nice enough, and spent a fair amount of time courting her, just for him to be rejected.”

“What are you getting at Sana?” You stop what you were doing, turning to face her. 

“Just wanted to figure out why Rosie said no,” Sana shrugs as Dahyun passes by, informing her that it’s time for the next outfit change. “Anyways, Rosie wouldn’t say, but it’s obvious why.”

“And why is that?” You take the bait, preparing yourself for whatever’s going to come out of Sana’s mouth next. 

“Because of you,” Sana stands, letting out a small yawn. “Anyways, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to drink. Don’t be a dick.” 

You aren’t sure if Sana was referring to herself or to Rosie, and you couldn’t ask since she left to go change into the next outfit. 

--

The rest of the photo shoot goes without a hitch. You tried your best to not let the conversation with Sana bleed into your work, and you hoped no one noticed. It was slightly harder than it was already to work with Rosie, but you maintained some sense of professionalism. 

There was a minor issue with the zipper breaking on Sana’s dress, but Rosie was quick to fix the problem by throwing a blazer over her. Other than that, everything went well. You thanked everyone for their help today, realizing it was a long day, which everyone was happy to hit the bar once everything was packed up. 

You offered to edit the pictures for them, since you didn’t exactly want to go out. Mina said you didn’t have to, but you were adamant about it. Sana shrugged, indifferent if you joined or not. 

You see Rosie talking to Momo and swallow your pride as you make your way to them. 

“Come on Chaeng,” You catch Momo say as you get closer. “It’ll be fun!” 

“I don’t think so Momo,” Rosie shakes her head. “I just want to stay in tonight.”

“One drink?” Momo begs as you stand next to the women. 

“Sorry Momo,” Rosie smiles, eyes falling on you before her smile slowly fades. 

“Oppa, convince her to go,” Momo pouts. 

“I’m with her on this one Momo,” She frowns, shaking her head, muttering something in Japanese that makes you laugh. “I understand, you know that right?” 

Momo’s eyes widened, cheeks starting to turn red before walking away. 

Once Momo’s a good distance away, you turn to Rosie, a sad smile forming on your face as she looks everywhere but at you. 

“Can we talk?” You ask quietly. 

“So talk,” Rosie crosses her arms. 

“Like in private? Please.”

Rosie relents, sighing. “Let’s just finish with cleaning up and we can go for a walk okay?” 

“Okay,” You nod, grateful that she’s giving you the time of day. 

You have to be honest with her, and if she rejects you completely, at least you can say you tried. 

—

Rosie shivers next to you, the chill of the sunset creeping in. You shrug your coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders. 

“Thanks,” Rosie mumbles out as you continue walking along the river. 

There are a few people out as well, mostly couples huddled together. It almost makes you want to wrap an arm around her to keep her warm. You won’t though because it’s awkward. 

Rosie walks into the convenience store without saying anything, which you follow her into. She grabs an instant coffee before turning to you, asking if you wanted anything. You shake your head, even though the bottle of soju behind the glass screams your name. 

When she goes to pay, you quickly swipe your card before she could say no. She scoffs, shaking her head, as she walks out. You follow her, keeping a small distance as you watch her take small sips with every step. She stops, leaning on the railing, and stares out to the river. 

Naturally you join her, letting the background noise fill the silence. 

After a few minutes, Rosie says, “You wanted to talk, so go ahead.” 

“First off, I’m sorry,” You say quietly. You apologize for not replying, and most likely worrying her. You explain that going to Osaka was an impulsive choice, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. 

“Well why? Did I do something?” Rosie turns to face you, lip quivering. You notice her eyes suddenly glossy, and it pangs you to see her like this. 

“No, no,” You shake your head firmly, closing your eyes as you choose your next words carefully. “When I got that text about Soohyun, I finally accepted something.” 

“What?” 

You slowly open your eyes, staring at her features, completely enamored by her. Like you always have been. 

“I’m in love with you,” You admit for the first time out loud, and you’re happy it’s to her. 

Rosie’s eyes widen, gaze looking away as her whole body shifts to face the water again. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that right?” Rosie says quietly. “And an idiot.” She adds, huffing. 

Not the response you were expecting, but before you could ask what she means, she tells you anyway. 

“I’ve spent mostly every day with you for the past month, then we have a really intense night of sex where you fucking claimed me,” You wince at her words, “Then you just leave for two weeks without any contact to come back and say you’re in love with me because of a text of someone asking me out?” 

“Well when you put—”

“I’m not finished,” Rosie huffs, facing you once again. “I’m in love with you, too dumbass. After that last night, I realized that as much as you piss me off, as much as you’re so fucking stubborn, that the idea of being yours felt real. I couldn’t say yes to Soohyun when I unknowingly said yes to you.” 

“You want to be with me?” You stare at her, dumbfounded. 

“If that wasn’t clear enough, yes,” Rosie rolls her eyes. “We’ve basically already been dating, so if you’d just stop running away after and just talk to—whoa,” She gasps when your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her into you, tilting her head up. 

“Say it,” You ghost your lips against hers, moving as she misses. 

“See, stubborn,” There’s a sharp inhale when you kiss her sweetly. 

“Say it,” You mumble, dipping your tongue in as she lets out a moan. 

“Yours,” Rosie wraps her arms around your neck, melting into you as the kiss deepens. 

“I love you,” You detach your lips, resting your forehead against hers. 

“I love you too,” Tracing her fingers along your neck, “Even though you’ve been a jerk these past two weeks. How are you going to make it up to me?” 

“I can think of a few ways.”

--

--

Rosie slams the door behind you, wincing at the frames rattling against the wall. She kicks her shoes off aggressively, barely sparing you a glance as she walks to your room. That door also slams. 

She’s pissed. 

Maybe it was your fault. Okay so it was your fault, but you didn’t mean for it to happen. 

You met up with a few of your friends to celebrate the end of exams and the school year. It was also a small farewell to you and Rosie as you were going to Paris together for the summer. Rosie took the internship at YSL and she was able to get you one too after she sneakily sent over the portfolio from the project. 

Your parents didn’t mind, figuring it would be good for you to take this time before you graduate into the real world. They were supportive that if you decided to do it for real, they’d be more than okay with it. That surprised you, but you couldn’t complain. Though the teasing from your mother was enough. 

You were at the bar, waiting to get your order when Ryujin sat in your lap. You couldn’t do anything as her weight pressed you down. 

“What the hell Ryujin?” You try to get her off you. 

“Oppa, come on. When are you going to ditch Chaeyoung and get back to bed with me?” Ryujin grounds her hips over your crotch, stealing a moan from you as the movement catches you off guard. 

“I’m not going to,” You grit out as she repeats the movement. 

“What the fuck?” You hear Rosie’s voice behind you, gathering the strength to push the woman off your lap. 

“I can explain!” You turn to face her, hands up. 

“Come on Chaeyoung, share him,” Ryujin trails a finger up your chest. “I miss him.” 

“Oh you fucking—” You step out of Ryujin’s hold, lungeing for your girlfriend before she mauls the other woman. 

“Let’s go,” You nearly carry Rosie out as she squirms against your hold. A few people stare as you walk by, but she was about five seconds away from causing a bigger scene, that you couldn’t care less. 

Once you got outside, Rosie ripped into you. She called you every name in the book for doing that. When you explained that you were pushing her off, she called you an idiot for even allowing it. You had no response, knowing it was a lost cause. 

Officially dating Rosie for the past few months, you learned a lot, especially the type of girlfriend she was. She’s more affectionate, tender, soft when it’s just you or with her closest friends. She does a lot for you without even realizing you need help. She acts indifferent to the public about things, but tells you how she feels and what she thinks in private. She shows you in more ways than one just how much she loves you. 

But she’s still the same too. 

She still argues with you over anything and everything. She mouths off whenever she doesn’t get her way (you give in anyways). She relentlessly teases you any chance she gets. 

She’s also very possessive of you. She hates when any girls glance your way. She especially despises any of your past flings (except Jennie) as they boldly ask you to hook up with her right there. She can’t stand it when you say she’s jealous because she’s not. But her use of mine is repeated multiple times as she fucks you to remind you who you belonged to, like you could forget. 

She’s still the biggest pain in your ass, but you love her anyway. 

You open your room door, surprised to see Rosie already changed for bed. She’s adorable dressed in your clothes, the size just a tad too big on her body. You quietly close the door, ignoring her movements as you grab clothes from the dresser. 

When you join her in bed, sliding under the covers, you lay on your side, staring at her scroll through her phone. 

“Chaeng,” You pout as she continues scrolling. “Come on, you know I didn’t do anything.” 

“Why’d you let her sit on your lap then?” Rosie says sarcastically. 

“I didn’t. She just sat there,” You reason, rolling your eyes at her pettiness. 

“Cause you just keep your lap available for anyone to sit on?” 

“Jesus christ, you know I don’t. You’re acting like a brat,” You huff, rolling onto your back. 

“I’m acting like a brat?” Rosie raises her voice, her phone tossed on the nightstand. She hovers over you, eyes narrowing, “I’m not the one letting girls openly sit on my lap when I’m clearly in a relationship.”

“Believe me, everyone knows that I am,” You glare, deciding right then and there you’re going to taunt her. “Not my fault my dick’s just that good they miss me.” 

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Rosie scoffs, “It’s not even that good.” 

“What do you have to compare it to? You’ve only slept with me and clearly aren’t going after anyone else’s dick,” It’s a low blow, but she’s starting to piss you off. 

In a flurry of movements, Rosie swings her leg over you, cupping your chin rather aggressively before whispering, “Did you want me to? I’m sure there’s still a line of guys dying to get inside of me.”

Your temper flares, hands gripping her waist before flipping her over. 

Now if Rosie’s possessive of you, naturally you’re possessive of her. Probably worse. 

You find your hands underneath your shirt, and she shivers at your touch. 

“Is that a no?” Rosie moans when you pinch her nipples. 

You remove your hands, reaching for the hem of your shirt before throwing it somewhere off to the side. You rip the shirt off her body before slotting yourself in between her legs, pressing most of your weight on top of her. 

“I guess I have to ask,” You start peppering her jaw with kisses, “Do you want to be disappointed?” 

Rosie moans as you gently suck on her sweet spot, smirking against her skin as her hips roll against your crotch. Your cock twitches, but you don’t let your control slip that easily. 

“How-how would I be disappointed?” Rosie tilts her head back, granting you more access as you continue leaving marks along her neck. 

“You’d be comparing them to me,” You thrust against her, just so she could feel what she’s doing to you. 

“Doubtful,” Rosie’s hand slips underneath your waistband, taking hold of your cock as she strokes you. 

“I know you would,” You whisper against her ear, “You wouldn’t cum, I know that for sure.”

“What makes you so confident?” Her grip tightens, a groan falling from your lips. 

“Maybe cause you’re mine,” You nip at her ear, grounding your hips against hers. Her legs wrap around your waist, an all too familiar move that has you rutting into her, mimicking exactly what you were going to do to her. 

“Yours?” 

“Mine,” You tear the shirt over her head, whimpering at her hand leaving you. You tug her shorts down to see her bare pussy, wet and glistening under the low light of your room. You salivate, but tuck those thoughts away for later because you need to get inside her more than anything right now. 

“Better remind me,” Rosie sighs, breath stuttering, as she stares at the obvious bulge in between her legs. “I could probably walk outside and someone would wanna fuck me.”

Your control snaps, shoving your sweats to free your cock. You miss the gasp falling from her lips, but you hone in as you aim your cock at her entrance. 

“Absolutely not,” You snap your hips forward, giving her no time to adjust to the ruthless pace you set on her body. “Only I could do this.”

You spread her legs wider, watching her eyes roll back. Her hips meet every thrust, taking you just like she knows how to. Her long drawn out moans quickly turn into high pitched screams that ring in your ears. 

“Baby,” Rosie brings one hand in between her legs, furiously rubbing her clit as her walls clamp onto your length. “You fuck me so—fuck.” 

Your earlier irritation bleeds away, suddenly feeling the need to make sure Rosie doesn’t forget exactly who makes her feel this good. 

You fill her to the hilt, groaning into the crook of her neck as her pussy contracts around your cock. 

“Baby,” Rosie pants, chest heaving against yours as she tries to move. Your hips have her pinned against the bed, so it’s futile as she writhes underneath you. “Don’t stop, please.” She breathes out, her hand still moving in between you, creating a delicious friction. 

You want her to beg, but with the way she’s squeezing your cock like her life depended on it has you giving in 

“Tell me.”

“Yours-please, please,” Rosie shakes her head, the pressure in between her legs growing. 

“Mine?” You draw your hips back, leaving the head of your cock in. 

“Fuck, yours,” Rosie screams when you slam into her body, hooking her legs over your shoulders as you resume fucking her with everything you’ve got. 

You’re usually not this rough, but a more primal, baser, need takes over. She yelled at you for something that was completely out of your control. Could you have handled it differently? Sure, but she could have handled it differently too. 

You’ve spent enough time with Rosie to know she acts like this to rile you up. You honestly have no problem putting her in her place, especially if it’s in between her legs. 

Rosie’s orgasm rips through her body, back arching suddenly as her hands hold you close. Her nails dig into your skin, nails scratching down your back, which you know will leave marks. 

“Again,” You command, fucking her thoroughly as her pussy spasms around your cock. 

Rosie’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as her lips form a perfect ‘O’ before a gush of wetness drenches you. 

You pull out quickly, deciding that she doesn’t get to feel you cum inside her—at least right now. It takes you no more than four pumps of your cock before you explode over her body. You aim in between her lower lips, making a bigger mess of her as your mind shuts off. 

You’re both gasping for air, but your eyes fixate on the rise and fall of Rosie’s chest. Moving on impulse alone, you lower yourself, peppering her chest with your lips. One hand lazily drapes over your neck, scratching softly as quiet moans leave her body. 

“Okay,” Rosie mumbles after a couple minutes, gently tugging you off. “You made your point. I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”

“Good,” You roll off of her, but quickly pull her body into yours. 

“No one else can fuck you either,” Rosie musters out as threatening as possible. It falls short because she’s still trying to catch her breath, exhausted. 

“I know,” You kiss her temple. “Only want you anyways.” 

“Good,” She snuggles into your side, slotting a leg in between yours. 

You offer to clean up, but she pulls you tighter, telling you five more minutes. You chuckle, knowing her body well enough that she’s going to pass out. 

“Love you,” You murmur, lips on her skin again because you couldn’t get enough of her. 

“I love you,” Rosie sighs dreamily. 

You hear light snores after a minute, eyes rolling fondly. You sink into the embrace, closing your eyes as well. 

You’ll clean later, content with the woman in your arms, who will—if you had to bet—want to go again. 

--

--

--

[foreingersgod]

ok hiiii! i’m the anon that asked for nika! sooo maybe a fic where reader is another players sister (or best friend, whatever you think would fit) and the player brings reader to a game and reader meets nika and it’s like love at first sight? maybe not as cringy as i made it sound lol, but i hope you get what i mean!

💗💗

to requester: i saw your other request and decided i’ll do them separately so we can enjoy more nika content!

Best Friends Sister . NM

pairing: nika muhl x reader

synopsis: you tag along with your parents for your sister’s game, not knowing it would be the best decision of your life.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

paigey: are you coming tonight with mom and dad or no?

you: only if you don’t hit me with another basketball then sure

paigey: i said i was sorry, dude. you should come though, i haven’t seen you for a minute

you: yea sorry, been busy and stuff. i’ll be there!

it was rare for you to attend your sister’s games on a regular basis. as much as you loved her and wanted to support, you were slammed with work and school and friends, the whole 9 yards. plus, watching millions of girls freak out over your sister was not your idea of a good time. but you’d been missing paige lately and wanted to show your sisterly support at least a few times this season.

so there you were, sitting outside your apartment on the concrete steps of the building, waiting for your parents to pick you up for the game. clad in UCONN attire, you picked at the weeds growing in between the cracks of stone.

arriving at the stadium, you could already sense the chaos. seeing all the girls there to see your sister play, it was a weird feeling. but once you made your way closer to the court with your family, seeing how happy paige looked out there, it made you feel insanely proud.

UCONN was up by 6 and your sister was killing it. being able to see her improvement throughout the game was truly rewarding to see. you cheered and hollered for each score until the end of the game finally rolled around, UCONN secured the win.

paige celebrated with her team for a few moments, reveling in their success before making her way to where you all sat. she greeted your parents with hugs, mom kissing her on the cheek and dad patting her back. then she maneuvered to you, dabbing you up before pulling you into a hug or your own.

“you killed it out there loser,” you congratulated “glad i got to see you play tonight, i’ve missed you!”

she laughed “thanks, me too”

paige worked her way around the rest of your family, taking time to chat with everyone. then she pulled you aside, motioning for you to follow her back down to the court.

“what?” you questioned, showing up at her side.

“thought i’d introduce you to everyone, plus aaliyah hasn’t seen you in forever and has been begging to see you”

you were always close with a few a her teammates, some of them being in paige’s life for so long that they became a part of your family. aaliyah, you were especially close with. but a lot of her other, newer teammates, you had yet to meet.

when you arrived on the court, paige leading you to the team, you started to spot some familiar faces. aaliyah ran over to you the second she saw you. pulling you into a bear hug and scolding you for not visiting more often. you greeted ice, too, congratulating her on a good game. it was nice to see them all again, catching up for lost time.

while in a conversation with aaliyah about how your job was going, paige politely pulled you aside again. she dragged you through the small crowd saying “i wanna introduce you to someone, i don’t think you’ve met yet”

finally, she stopped pulling you, coming to a halt just in front of the bench seats. paige was right, some girl you didn’t recognize sat on one of the seats, wiping the sweat from her brow and catching her breathe.

“hey, nika, i wanted to introduce you to my sister, YN!” paige said over the havoc of the stadium.

she looked up upon hearing paige summon her, eyes moving from paige’s and then to yours. she caught your attention right away, and suddenly, nothing else mattered once you locked eyes with the girl.

nika, you recalled paige calling her that, was the most beautiful girl you’d seen in your entire life. you studied every feature of her face right in that moment. her hair, you could only imagine how soft it was, pulled back in a near ponytail. her rosy cheeks, flush from exhaustion and excitement. her pearly white teeth that were so bright when she smiled at you. she was perfection if it were a person.

she was examining you as well, you could tell by the ways her eyes flickered between your eyes and down to your lips (triangle method iykyk). for a faint moment, it was just the two of you, lost in each others gaze. there was something about her, you couldn’t place it, but you wished you’d never have to look away.

unfortunately for you, your day dreams were interrupted when paige spoke up, confused by the silence.

“earth to nika” she waved her hand jokingly in front of her face “did you hear me? this is YN”

her eyes painfully pulled away from yours, looking at paige in surprise “right! sorry, i think i’m still a bit light headed”

she stood up, walking towards you and extending her hand out to you “very nice to meet you, YN, i didn’t know paige had a sister!”

your throat fell dry as you took her hand, gently shaking it. her touch lingered as her fingers swept against yours “nice to meet you too! yea i’m kind of all over the place and not around much so the team hasn’t seen a lot of me recently”

she eyed you again as you spoke. she tucked loose hairs behind her ear, smirking in a sultry manner.

“i get it, life’s busy” she bit her lip just enough for you to notice “but i’d..um-i’d like to see you around more”

“yea, hopefully i can stick around for a few more games” you joked, trying to hide how flustered you were.

“i’ll count on it” she said, then turned back to paige as she fumbled around in her bag, getting ready to leave “hey i gotta go catch up with a few people, but i’ll see you tomorrow?”

paige nodded, saying her goodbyes for the evening.

“see you around, YN” nika remarked, shoulder brushing against yours slightly as she walked past you, leaning in to whisper to you “and uh, do you think that maybe…maybe i could grab your number from paige or something? only if it’s ok with you”

you nodded your head vigorously, “yea, yes that’s more than ok with me”

she nodded back, flashing those dazzling teeth at you again before rushing across the court. you turned to face paige and saw the contorted look on her face.

“what the hell was that?” she asked.

“nothing” you suppressed a smile “it’s nothing”

that night, after the excitement of the game had worn off and you were back home, you were tucked into bed about to fall asleep. your phone buzzed abruptly, cashing you to roll over and pull it from its charger. your eyes squinted shut from the bright light of the screen.

unknown: hey is this YN? it’s nika :)

you didn’t have to think twice before responding and creating her contact.

you: it is, hi nika <3

nika: sorry to text you so late, paige was…very hesitant about giving me your number lol, but i was hoping i could take you out sometime if you’d want?

you: haha she’s annoying sometimes i’m sorry!

but i would love to you out with you!

nika: great! are you free friday? maybe 6ish?

you: definitely, it’s a date <3

you couldn’t stop smiling as you texted the rest of the night. who would have thought a basketball game would have changed your life completely?

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and their preferred pet names for you

You know the drill by now. Enjoy ✨

Sam:

-he’s pretty standard, so don’t expect something crazy, he isn’t good with words.

-baby/babe; pretty standard, but it’s what comes to his mind when he sees you. You’re just his baby girl 😩💕

-cutie; he won’t call you that all the time, but more when he is in a playful mood and wants to show you how much he likes you :3 “hey cutie, what are you doing there?”

-what can I say except I told you so🫣 he’s better with showing his affection through actions, not words 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sebastian:

-also pretty standard

-baby (this will come up a lot more I’m sorry y’all 😭)

-darling; but only when he’s in the mood for it

-(little) bat; because you kept joking about him being an emo/goth and he called you that for fun…it kinda stuck and it’s really cute ngl 🖤

-I have a feeling he will occasionally insult you as an inside joke too lol. Nothing too intense, he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he won’t hold back to tease you like he teases Sam or Abbey

Elliott:

-behold, he’s a connoisseur for good old-fashioned pet names

-darling; I don’t have to elaborate

-love (in the most tender, smooth voice you can imagine)🥰🤭🫣💗

-precious; because you’re the most valuable thing in his life 😍

-he will throw in some original pet names which will sound oh so fancy, like names of flowers he finds beautiful, or generally things he loves (maybe not Tom Kha soup or lobster 💀)

Harvey:

-he’s so sweet, he’s like Elliott in that regard, so he will use some outdated ones

-darling 🤭

-love; his favourite, he can’t but blush himself calling you ‘his love’ (😩💗)

-honey; he uses that one a lot too. When you have breakfast together and he reads something interesting in the newspaper, he’ll happily exclaim it to grab your attention

-dear; but that one not so much, mostly when he is “arguing” with you or tries to talk you out of a dangerous idea (the farmer is a bit unhinged and he’s so worried about you 🥺)

Shane:

-Shane is a guy-guy, but he has some variety to his pet names based on his mood

-angel; this one is my favourite for his pet names. Not only does it apply because you ‘saved’ him from committing a big mistake, but he also found a real friend in you which he didn’t have for most of his life

-babe; pretty standard, he uses it quite frequently instead of calling you by your name

-doll; sometimes that unintentional dad vibe comes through but I find it a bit funny lmfao

-he also uses plenty of stupid “insults” like Sebastian because he’s a little menace and mild bullying is his love language 💙 if you’re short you’re a dwarf or hobbit for sure despite him being a short king himself

Alex:

-Alex can be a brick-head, but he has some cute names he likes to use

-baby; wow, we haven’t had that one yet 😃

-doll; idk why; I look at that guy and it just fits 🤷🏼‍♀️

-farm girl/boy; it’s a nod to the time you just got to know each other. He likes to nag you a bit with that one which you lovingly play into

-gorgeous; he just has to emphasise how freaking beautiful you are to him 🥰 he will often go past you and pretend he’s hitting on you, as if you’re not married for 5 years and have 2 kids lol. “Hey gorgeous, I’ve never seen you around here. You have a boyfriend? If not I’d like to apply for that position.”

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[hyuk4sbf]

im so glad you’re back!!! i asked this before but can you please write dry humping w/ beomgyu <3

hi!!!!! tysm sorry this took me so long writing is hard >< hope u like it i got a lil carried away w it so hopefully that makes it worth the wait im so sorry again LOL

>nsfw!!!! obvi ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

>word count: 1.6k

>sub!beomgyu x gn!reader

*wrote and edited on phone lmk if theres any mistakes idk T_T

“baby,” beomgyu breathes against your mouth, “baby, i think we should stop.”

you pull away, hands still on the nape of his neck as you eye him with concern. his chest heaves, pupils dilated as his eyes practically memorise every feature to your face.

you’re perched in his lap, lips kiss-swollen, eyes hazy and thighs soft in the palms of his hands. you tilt your head at him, and it makes his throat a little drier.

“sorry, are you okay?” you question, a simmering of guilt beginning to rise in your stomach. you might’ve pushed him too far? you hope not. he swallows, blinking heavily.

“it’s okay, m’okay,” beomgyu tells you, yet he still sounds like he’s had the breath punched out of him. you try to smile a little to reassure him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek.

“we don’t have to keep going but can you tell me what happened?”

beomgyu sputters a little, his ears tinting a pretty red, and he leans his head further into your palm embarrassedly. you thumb over his cheek with a pretty little chuckle.

“i… i don’t know.” he tells you. he watches your expression change, disbelief clear as day. you prod his side a little just to see him jolt and squirm, pout now evident on your mouth.

“don’t lie, beoms,” you whine at him, “tell me what’s wrong so i can fix it.”

he scrunches his face a little, and that’s when you finally feel it. he knows you do, and he does anything to move his hips away from your own. he’s hard.

“oh,” you simply say, and watch as his hands come up to cover his face that flares an alarming red.

“m’sorry,” he babbles, “m’so sorry i didn’t mean to.”

you feel heat in the face, a warmth swirling your stomach as you watch him practically pant for forgiveness. you purse your lips at the shiver that threatens to take over your body. he got hard just from kissing you, your brain continues to alarm you as if hitting you with neon lights. your heart thumps a little louder in your chest, you wonder if beomgyu would be able to hear it if he listened close enough. however, the shy heat you feel radiating from your boyfriend makes you realise perhaps his heart is too loud in his ears to hear anything else.

your mind made up, you gently coax his hands away from his face, the little smile on your lips doing nothing to stop the swoop in beomgyu’s tummy. fuck, you’re so pretty. he feels the sweat that clams his hands, an inner voice chastising him for how pathetic he must look. you haven’t done anything but kiss him, how embarrassing.

but you just continue to shyly smile at him, much like he’s just put the stars in the sky for you rather than get an unwarranted boner for you in his lap. fuck, you’re still in his lap. your hands still hold his, keeping them away from his face. he feels hot all over again.

“it’s okay, baby,” you coo. “i can help.”

i can help. i can help. i can help.

he exhales shakily, throat bobbing as he swallows away how dry it feels. his eyes are caught with yours, flickering between your eyes and your mouth. he really needs to kiss you again, his thoughtful, beautiful lover. the urge falls off his tongue in a needy breath of, “please.”

you coo again, eyes sparkling as you cup his face and lean in to press your lips against his. you press yourself closer to him, shuffling your hips forward.

his reaction is immediate, a hand reaching for one of your thighs. the other curls around the small of your back as he openly whimpers into your mouth. he grasps at you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go, pulls you as close as he physically can. you distantly think about what his fingerprints would look like as bruises on your skin.

“do you want it just like this? hm?” you question as you pull away just a tad, “can’t even get my clothes off me, you’re that desperate for anything?” it’s teasing, condescending and you know it, but the way his eyes flutter and he nods obediently gives you enough incentive to keep going. you giggle and pair it with the rough roll of your hips down against his.

at this, beomgyu jolts with a deep moan, so pretty as it catches on a breath, and he starts to chase the friction. his hips move of their own accord, rutting up against you in an desperate pace. you’re more than happy to meet him halfway.

“come on, baby. that’s it.” you lean to whisper against the shell of his ear, “such a good boy.”

he almost can’t breathe through the flame of arousal and pleasure that lick up his spine in thick, hot waves, mixing together in excruciating and intoxicating measures. you feel so good, your skin so soft under his palms, your hot breath wet against his ear, the weight of you on his clothed cock. he does his best to memorise every detail, but the foggy haze of lust proves it a challenge.

“feel so good under me like this,” you tell him, “so big, you’d feel so good inside me, hm? would you fuck me just right? make me feel good too?” the filth spills out of your mouth before you can really stop it. you want to be unsure of where the confidence came from that you could say such things, but nothing’s more reassuring of its origins than the way beomgyu eagerly nods along to every word.

“yes. yes. please, want you to feel good, too. please, baby. wanna make you cum so bad.” he pleads, practically begging as his hand on your back guides you to hump a little harder into him.

you hum, satisfied with his answer and a little gasp catches in your throat at the sudden eagerness he has to grind directly into your own sex. your hands fall to his tummy, and you take the opportunity to slip up his shirt, fingers exploring every sliver of skin that gets exposed to you the higher you hike upwards. you practically leave flames in your wake, his breaths so loud and shaky, skin so hot and slicking up with a sheen of sweat under your touch.

“so cute,” you giggle and you can’t help but to ask, “been thinking about this?”

the boy pants, “all the— ah!… time. think about you coming on my tongue all the time. ah fuck, fuck! you’re so pretty.”

you whimper against his ear, “maybe if you cum for me like this, i’ll let you taste me. think you can do it, beomie?” you reach his chest, and your fingers roll his nipples between them, and somehow he humps into you with a more desperate intent. and god fuck, he whines, louder than he had been, body trembling under yours and hands grasping at your shirt for dear life.

“yes, p…please. i think m’close. please…”

“what is it, honey? what do you need?”

“kiss me. fuck, please kiss me. m’gonna cum.”

your heart thrums in your ears, and you’re quick to oblige, lips smashing against his own in a mess of tongue and teeth.

beomgyu gasps into your mouth, his body seizing, thighs trembling underneath you, and you moan in response at the realisation of the mess he’s making in his pants. his eyes scrunching closed at the pleasure that takes hold of his body, and you keep your hips moving to guide him through it.

your hands push his hair out of his face, your ministrations falling to a complete halt as you start to coax him down from his high. he looks so dazed, but satiated.

your expression easily mirrors his own when his lips stretch into a big, dopey smile at you. “god, you are so hot.”

you playfully land a smack to his arm, and bury your head in his neck as the embarrassment of all you had said starts to set in. his skin is damp and sticky, but you try to hide regardless.

“i’m serious!” he exclaims, “i don’t think i’ve ever cum that hard in my life.”

you mumble, “you are so bad at this aftercare stuff.”

you feel his chest vibrate as he laughs, hearty and so himself it makes it hard to believe you had him so pliant just minutes before. the thought hitting you, the close memory of it makes you a little squirmy. he clicks his tongue.

“it’s not aftercare if it’s not over, is it?”

you move from his neck, going to question what he means. the words hitch in your throat as he catches you off guard and uses little to no strength to flip your position. your back hits the mattress with an ‘oomph!’ and you stare up at him wide-eyed.

he grins, toothy and beaming as he leans down to press kisses to the corner of your mouth that hangs agape in surprise. he trails downwards, underneath your jawline and your hands abruptly grasp at his shoulders. your chest heaves a shaky breath.

then, he pulls away, and shifts himself down the bed.

“what are you doing?”

he nudges your shirt up with his hands, and pushes your legs until he can fit between them. there’s a kiss on your tummy, and then a fiddling at the waistband of your pants. beomgyu smiles up at you, eyes sparkling happily as he waits for your permission.

“you said i could taste you.”

[augustvandyne]

Angela x reader

In a relationship but not out to everyone yet and they get caught after a undercover mission making out

i hope this doesn’t suck too bad lol.

also i had writers block which explains why i haven’t posted in a few days.. anyway, send in some asks because i have one for andy and im out!!

going undercover

You weren’t even completely sure how you got roped into this undercover op.

All you knew this morning was that there was an op, a description of what was going on, and that Lucy wanted in. So that meant you were leaving yourself out of it.

At least you were, up until Nyla and Grey had specifically asked for you.

Something about you being open about liking girls, and that was needed in this op.

You tried to explain that you didn’t want it, that Lucy wanted it and that she could act way better than you could—but Nyla was not having any of it.

She wanted you on this, and that was final.

But she also wanted, surprise surprise, Angela on this as well.

You already knew of the case, because the LAPD has been following it for almost a year now, and still haven’t been able to arrest the gang of three.

They were traffickers. For all of it. Drugs, guns, and people.

So your guys’ job was to keep tabs and to eventually bust them.

Angela would work at a bar to keep tabs on a few members who hung around there, and you’d keep hidden. Try to blend in along with the gang.

Angela hated the idea of putting you in that kind of danger, but she couldn’t say anything to jeopardize your guys’ relationship.

Nyla and Grey said the operation would take at least a week, so the two of you tried to see it as a good thing.

You’d be alone for a week—and you wouldn’t have to hide.

The two of you were sent home to pack your duffel bags, and then you were off.

There was a small apartment set up above the bar the two of you would be hanging around at for the next two weeks, and that was where the two of you would be staying.

You and Angela had the rest of your night to yourselves until the real job started tomorrow, and so the two of you spent your time in bed together.

You took turns holding each other, not knowing how much time the two of you would be able to spend holding each other within the next week.

Angela lays with her arms wrapped around you, your hand resting on her cheek as you lay with your head on her chest.

“No matter what happens—“

“Don’t think like that,” Angela cuts you off, lifting your head so you were looking at her. “ever.”

“I’m sorry Ange,” You look down, only to have Angela force your stare back up to her. “I can’t lose you.”

“And you won’t,” Angela gives a smirk. “I won’t have it. Not under my watch.”

She leans down, leaving a small peck on your lips.

You take in a breath, all the anxiety hitting you at once.

“I’m scared,” You admit.

“I know,” Angela presses her lips together, her eyes casting over you in a scared and concerned manner. “I am too.”

“We’ll watch out for each other,” You nod.

“I know we will,” She kisses your forehead and the two of you fall asleep that way. You, wrapped in her arms, your hand on her cheek, and her lips pressed against your head.

You were beginning to hate this undercover operation all together.

Not only did you hate watching Angela be buttered up and flirted with all night, but you also hated being ogled yourself. You could feel Angela’s stare on you, and you were worried she might give the two of you away.

You played into whatever the men had needed and they bought every single one of your words.

They’d let you in on when trades would be going on, and where, but Nyla and Grey insisted you wouldn’t be able to bust them until they saw it in action. They may just be bluffing, they told you.

And so they wanted you to get in on a trade, but Angela hated that idea.

When you guys had checked in a few nights before, she’d fought them on it, all but shouting at them. Nostrils flared, teeth bared, jaw clenched.

She would have started screaming at them, had you not put your hand on her thigh to calm her.

“We’re just on edge,” You’d said in order to keep the two of yours relationship a secret. “She doesn’t want me to die, that’s all.”

“I sure hope not,” Grey chuckled.

And since then Angela had kept a close eye on you. Dreading the moment the men gave in and gave you their full trust.

Which was the main reason you’d seen her eyes on you every time you looked up.

“We could use another round,” Pierce said, finishing his glass of beer off.

“No problem,” You smiled, placing your hands on the table to you could push yourself up.

The men stare at your behind as you sway your hips over to the counter.

“Another round,” You requested to Angela.

“I don’t like this,” Angela says, taking her time to pour the several beers.

“So you’ve said,” You laughed nervously. “The last four times I’ve come up here.”

“I don’t like you drinking this much,” She starts on the second cup.

“I’m still on my second,” You assured her. “The others are drinking my round.”

She gives you an angry look.

“When this is all over..”

“I’m going to smack you,” Angela squints at you.

“No you won’t,” You say cockily.

“You’re right,” Angela sighs. “I worry.”

“Don’t,” You cut her off. “There’s a trade tonight. They’ll take me. I’m sure of it.”

“This will all be over tomorrow,” Angela blinks, trying not to show excitement on the outside.

“It will,” You nod.

You grab the four beers and place them on the table several feet away.

“Drink up princess,” The boss, Leon, demands in a low voice. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

“Us?” You tilt your head, your eyes locked on Angela’s as you down the rest of your beer.

“Us,” Keons right hand man, Noah, confirms, grabbing your hand from across the table.

It takes everything inside of you not to pull your hand away from him and hurl.

It also takes everything inside of Angela not to march over to the table you’re at and kick all three of the guys’ asses, but she is able to contain herself and help the next customer in line.

To Leon’s word, the three of them do bring you along to the trade, although you didn’t realize you’d be the thing they were trading for the human portion of the trade until you arrived.

Thankfully, they’d needed another round before heading out, and you’d given Angela the location and time.

When they pulled up to the destination, you prayed Angela, Nyla and a team were somewhere around the place to save you.

You’d played as nice as you could as the trade was going about. You smiled nicely, and did whatever Pierce, Leon, and Noah asked of you.

You were beginning to give up hope as they handed you off to the man who bought the big three, just as they were busted.

“LAPD!” Nyla stood behind the three of them, who got shot the second they reached for their own guns.

“Down!” You heard your girlfriend shout, and so you did. You dropped to the ground, the grip of the man behind you releasing as he’d been shot in the shoulder from above.

You looked up to see Angela above with her sniper.

“Clear!” Nyla shouted as the man behind you fell to the ground in pain.

Lucy and the rest of the gang came out from their hiding spots.

You launched off the ground into Lucy’s arms, needing the feeling safety.

“Where’s Angela?” You looked around frantically.

“I don’t know,” Lucy says, holding onto you tighter. “I’m just glad you’re okay. And I promise I’m not mad over you getting the part. I don’t know what I would have done in this position. And you did this on three beers? I would’ve been dead on my feet—“

“I love you, Lucy, but you’re breaking me,” You wheeze out.

“Oh, I’m sorry—“

“Officer Chen!”

“I’ll be back,” Lucy gives you one last squeeze before hurrying off in the direction of where her name was called.

You made sure no one was watching you as you all but sprinted in the direction of where you last saw Angela.

She caught you off guard as she grabbed you and pushed you against one of the many large shipping containers that are placed around the docking yard.

“I hate you,” Angela all but growls in your face.

“No you don’t,” You grab her head in your hands and pull her down to your face.

“You’re right,” Angela breathes out.

“I’m okay. I promise.”

“You better be,” Angela pulls her lips away from yours, looking over you for any scratches, just to be sure.

“I am,” You insist. “From now on, no more undercover. I need to make sure you’re okay too, I love you and I can’t lose you either.” You say, pulling her face closer to yours, everything around you drowning out.

“Oh-“ Grey turns away as Nyla comes to see what it is.

Angela pulls herself away from you as you put your hands up to your face.

“What-“ Lucy says with wide eyes.

“How long has this..” Nyla points between the two of you.

“Uh..” You make a face behind your hands.

“Hm.”

“How did you even hide this?” Tim shakes his head.

“We’re very good?” Angela scratches her head.

“My office,” Grey says looking between the two of you. “First thing tomorrow morning.”

“How—“ Lucy just shakes her head.

“Sir—“

“I have a feeling this will still be going on, and we’ll need to fill out paper work,” Grey nods, turning to walk away, everyone but Lucy turning to follow.

They were in disbelief, to say the least.

You lick your lips nervously, “No problem.”

Angela chuckles, turning back to you, taking one of your hands in her own. She lifts your knuckles to her lips and gives them a soft kiss.

“Let’s go home.”

“I just— how?!” Lucy says as the two of you leave the secluded space.

[badomensgoodomens]

RIFFS AND REGRETS - NOAH SEBASTIAN

oc name used: arabella

warnings: mention of sex?? throwing up??

unedited btw

summary: lol u dont get one keep reading.

The pounding on the bus door was enough to drag my sorry ass out of bed. I should NOT have drank that much. “Bella!!!” the pounding was repetitive. “Sorry! Sorry! Geez. i didn't even have a bra on.” My drummer, leo, stood infront of me with the hangover holy grail. coffee. 

I rub my face, god i slept in my makeup. He hands me an iced latte, in which i accept gratefully. We were currently parked in the bus sector of good things festival, approximately two days before it kicked off. I knew he was here, engraved into the back of my fucking skull. I just wonder if they were still together. 

I was talking about noah of course, the topic of him having haunted my dreams the past 4 years. Silhouettes of Silence (SOS) kicked off after we stopped being friends, which im sure  was a real slap in the face for him. I do briefly remember the events leading up to the pure distaste and hurt i feel towards the man, but i could honestly go on forever. 

I was snapped out of thought as leo repeatedly snapped in front of my face. “Get your shit together you haven’t even seen him yet” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Wheres lucy and gene?” i ask, glancing around the poorly furnished bus. “Probably hooking up somewhere." “I ought to fire those two one of these days.” 

With a sigh, i get up from my position on the leather couch. “Cmon, we gotta go set up our merch tent.” much to my absolute dismay, we were opposite none other than the bad omens merch tent. I just avoid eye contact. I loiter near pierce the veils tent, danielle had babysat me my entire childhood so we were close. 

“Silhouettes of silence, huh?” i heard a voice behind me. I could recognise that little shit anywhere. “Folio!!” i turn on my heels, running towards him. I hug him tightly, even after all this time he still smells and feels the same. “Ive missed you, man.” he says, pulling away. I shrug awkwardly, “hah… sorry. Kind of skipped town after everything went down. Im proud of you, you look well.” i say, shifting awkwardly on my feet. “Same to you bella, you look better.” he says with that stupid smile. “We should hang out some time.” i say, smiling at him. “Mhm, bring back our thrifting adventures.’ he says, glancing back to his tent. “Hey i gotta go, catch you later yeah?” he says, disappearing before i can even say anything. 

“That was an absolute disaster.” i gesture to danielle, who had appeared next to me. “Eh, id say it wasn’t too bad. If the rest of em are like that, this’ll be a breeze for you.” she responds. “Just wish it wasn’t like this.” i say. She hums, before stepping back to return to her organising. I take a deep breath, it was day one and i was already exhausted. I manage to leg it back to the bus without another unnecessary encounter with an omen boy, but at what cost. 

I step inside the dark tour bus to be met with the sound of moans and skin slapping. 

Oh my god. 

“Abstinence in the tour bus they said. Itll be fun being in a band they said” 

—--------------------------

Another day of rehearsals and setting up, pre show day nerves hitting me hard. I go for a walk after the suns set, just minding my own business. It was late, and quiet. Moments like this really kept me alive. My bassist and guitarist were immature, i feel like im going no where with my life, im still caught up on a GUY- oh god theres somebody behind me. 

“You look like shit.” 

“Oh my fucking GOD jolly you scared the shit out of me you creep.” i hiss, turning around. He just laughs, walking alongside me. “Its like 11pm, why are you out here walking alone?” he asks. “Thinking.” i mutter, looking down at my feet. “Fuck. i cannot see.” he mumbles, turning his phone flash on. 

We do a lap of the festival grounds, just catching up a bit. “You look different.” jolly says abruptly. I stop walking, now confused. “Sorry?” “its just.. I dont know. Youve lost weight, dyed your hair, started a band, covered yourself in tattoos its just.. Weird. You definitely look more.. You.” he says. I ponder for a moment. “Geez youre observant.” 

We finish our lap off, before going our separate ways to our buses. “Soo… seen him yet? Leo asks, sprawled out on a leather couch with some chips. “No… not yet atleast. But i'm gradually ticking off his bandmates.” i respond, sitting down next to him to steal a chip. “They were your friends too, bella.” he says, his voice softening on me. “Dont get all sappy on me” i say, shoving him. He laughs.

—--------------------------------------------

Showtime. 

I  could actually throw up. 

I stand infront of the shitty bathroom mirror, some comfy flares and a hoodie on for now. I take deep breaths before warming up my voice.

Everyone gathers for soundcheck. 

“Hi yes im in my slippers, uhhh someone give me a song to sing.” 

“Floral and fading!!!” 

“My voice doesn’t go thaaaat high!!” 

Its about 3pm now, ive already pregamed some drinks and some artists have even started. Leo is curling my hair, while i cake on some makeup. “Im so not ready for this.” i say, setting my face. “You’ll do perfectly fine, warm your voice up.” he says, poking my side. 

I stand backstage, cracking my knuckles. Something I usually do out of pure fear. I rock on the balls of my feet, zoning the fuck out. “You got this.” Lucy says, standing in front of me. I just nod, anxiety swirling in my stomach. “You’re on in 10.” the stage manager says, walking behind me. I sigh, rubbing my face. “Im gonna shit myself” i choke out a laugh. 

I finally get my shit together and step out onto the main stage. Our song ‘urban legends’ blares through the plethora of speakers, my stage presence is bipolar compared to me naturally. I’m confident on stage, not in real life. 

Passion seeps through my voice as i perform our debut album, ‘echoes of silence’ the crowd is ecstatic, feeling the vibe. I transition into our newer songs, whom have grown popular on tiktok. Its exhausting really, but i love the adrenaline. 

As our set closes, i stalk past all the sea of backstage members, catching the eye of the one man id been trying to avoid. I don’t have time to care though, i can hear leo walking behind me, trying to get my attention. Fuck. i need a bucket. 

I run into the backstage bathrooms, throwing up. Gene and lucy hold my hair back. My ears are ringing and i feel queasy.

The last thing i hear before i black out is

“Is she okay?”

_____________________________

credits to whoever came up with 'abstinence in the tour bus' i read it somewhere and think of it religiously lol.

[danikamariewrites]

Hi lovely if your still taking requests can u pls do a

Azriel and rhysand ddlg poly relationship where reader is on her period and feels really sick on top of that as well like she has a fever and has really bad cramps aswell and keeps trying to hid/deal with it on there own but is throwing up a lot and passing out soo it just gets worsw

bc I’m thats me currently i have a flu 🤒 and am on my period i feel like death i wish i had someone to comfort me and watch after me lol 😂

We’ll Always Take Care of You

Rhysriel x reader

A/n: I still can’t believe I goofed on the other rhysriel ask I’m literally so embarrassed like what is wrong with my brain 🫣

And I’m sorry you’re so sick! I’ve had the flu and my period at the same time and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone it’s awful

Warnings: poly relationship, ddlg, daddy kink, mentions of pain and sickness, and typos bc I’m very tired lol

You were thankful that your doting mates weren’t with you this morning since you woke up drenched in sweat and shaking. Your cycle hit you in the middle of the night so you thought that the sick feeling taking over your body was related.

Oh how wrong you were.

You thought you made it through flu season successfully unscathed. Your latest trip to the city must’ve been where you caught it. You knew that little boy at the cafe table next to you was sick. Kicking yourself mentally you vowed to never be around another violently coughing child again.

You could get through this. You’d been sick and had your cycle before. It was unpleasant but bearable with the help of tonics from Madja. Pulling yourself out of bed you hobble to the bathroom to down one or two tonics before heading to your study.

The pain didn’t feel so bad after you took the tonics. You felt good for a while. Then a coughing fit had you bending over making your cramps worse. Your throat felt like a barren desert and you couldn’t get a breath in to help you. Once it had passed you laid on the floor, breathing in and out, in and out, until that sore scratchy feeling in your throat went away.

You wanted to stay on the floor forever. Another pang in your abdomen has you curling up in a ball, rolling on to your side. As the pain subsides you check to make sure your side of the bond was closed. The last thing you wanted was to project your pain to Az and Rhys.

You have to admit, you were a little hurt that neither of your mates have come to check on you. You were craving their attention right now, but you were determined to make it through your work today. Then tomorrow you would relax.

By lunch time you were dragging yourself around. Your body felt heavy and you have a splitting headache that you can feel behind your eyes. All you want to do was sleep with a cool cloth on your head. You have to pull yourself together, you didn’t want to worry Rhys and Azriel. Although you do love to be babied by them. But they were so busy lately you didn’t want to distract them.

Sitting in your usually seat you use magic to hide your scent. The mix of sickness and blood making your nose twitch.

The pair enter the room deep in discussion about something happening in Illyria. Good, they haven’t noticed you yet. Az and Rhys sit in their usual seats across from you, giving you twin loving smiles. “We haven’t seen you all day princess, I’m so sorry.” Az coos at you.

You smile back at them through the pain that’s coursing through your body. “It’s ok,” you croak out. Rhys tilts his head, giving you a concerned look as you feel him tug on the bond. Phantom claws gently caress your mental shields that you push back against.

“You’re pale darling. What’s wrong?” You give him a tight lipped smile. “Nothing Rhysie, I’m fine.” Rhysie gives you a disapproving look. “What have we said about lying darling?” Avoiding their gazes you look down at your hands. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, not able to hold back your emotions from the intense pain you are experiencing. You immediately felt small, the need for your mates to take care of you becoming overwhelming.

“You said not to, I’m sorry daddy.” You let your tears fall, letting go of the shield around you Rhys and Azriel were by your side in an instant. Both wrapping their arms around you. “Why didn’t you say anything to us?” Azriel asks softly. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Rhys clicks his tongue at you. “We’d drop everything to take care of you. Especially when you’re this sick. Let’s get you back to bed.” Azriel scoops you up in his arms leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead.

“She’s burning up Rhys.” His tone full of fear. Rhys looked back and saw you practically passed out in Azriel’s arms. They took off toward the bedroom.

The next morning you woke up to Rhys sitting in bed next to you. Letting out a groan you roll over, snuggling into his side. “Hi baby, how are you feeling?” You let out a louder groan. Rhys chuckles as he brings a hand down to play with your hair.

You prop yourself up on your elbows and they immediately start to shake from how weak you are. Looking around the room you notice Az is missing. “Where’s Azzy?” The door opens revealing Azriel carrying a tray of mugs of tea.

“Good you’re up. How are you feeling?” You flop back on the bed face down. “I feel like the Bogge ran at me then stomped on my stomach.”

“Aaww our poor baby.” Az coos at you. He sits on the other side of you and rubs soothing circles on your back. You hear him uncork a tonic bottle, picking you up to lean against his chest. “Here baby take this.” You open your mouth for him to dump the liquid down your throat.

Azriel moves to lay you back down but you cling to him, shifting to lay on him. “Will you both hold me?” You mumble out. “Of course.” Rhys whispered kissing the back of your ruffled head. You already felt better being nestled between them even though you had a long week ahead of you.

[dontcallthedoctor]

TEMP CHARACTER THEMES!!!

HIYA, FELLAS!!! This is gonna be a loooong post, so strap in!!! (I've srsly been writing this post for four days end me)

Yesterday, I announced that Kinger had won the music poll and that he shall be next to get his own theme. Sadly, yesterday was also the day I realized I've been hit with musical writer's block, so it might be a short while before I come up with anything good—I REALLY wanna get something out for Halloween tho!!

Since people may be curious abt what's in store for the other characters, I thought it'd be fun to present my ideas to you all, and give u all a little insight as to how my dumb little music brain works lol

Obviously, I haven't written much of anything original for anyone but Pomni yet, so in the meantime, I've picked out some temporary themes for each respective character that I feel fit them well, and hopefully they'll give you all an idea what I wanna achieve with them musically! A lot of thought went into figuring out each character's respective musical identities, so I hope these example pieces resonate with you as much as they did with me!

That said, if you have other ideas as to how these characters' themes might sound, I'd definitely love to hear about them! Feel free to comment em below or DM me if you wish! Feedback is greatly appreciated!!!

Just as a disclaimer, barring ofc Pomni's Theme, NONE OF THESE ARE MINE, NOR DO I CLAIM AUTHERSHIP OF THEM! That out of the way, let's begin with...

Pomni: I briefly explained my process behind this one in the original post, so I'll elaborate a little more here for those unaware, alongside this slightly extended version of it (a whole twenty seconds YIPPEE)

Pomni’s Theme kinda ended up being a homage to the music of Danny Elfman. I came up with the melody one night just by playing around on my piano. It was this weird, off-kilter, sorta sad-sounding tune that really resonated with me, and thought it sounded perfect for Pomni, so it became her motif. My friend @pasta-yy worded it perfectly when they said it sounded like "Pomni-flavored despair" lol

It wasn’t until I decided to make it a full song that I realized “WAIT THIS MAKES ME THINK OF DANNY ELFMAN”, who I’ve always admired, so I took to his early work for inspiration. I’ll cite Simone’s Theme from Peewee’s Big Adventure as the main influence in terms of "musical flavor" for this one. It helped me find / flesh out the circus-y style I was aiming for!

This composition isn’t quite finished yet, but I plan to post updates on it the whole way! I’m really excited for you all to see where this one goes!

Someone said that Pomni’s Theme sounds like the opening theme from Laimin! Anmin! Suya Rhys Seikatsu (Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle), an anime I haven’t seen, but I kinda hear it in some parts, at least in terms of chord progression!

Ragatha: For the rag dolly, I envision a sweet, somewhat-haunting tune. Imagine if a music box melody was arranged for orchestra. Very lush, very beautiful, very mature first and foremost, but with an undercurrent of sadness. Like Ragatha herself, the pathos is well-camouflaged beneath the happiness and the optimism, but is still undeniably there and perfectly in line with what we know about her character so far.

This particular track is led by accordion, which I'm not entirely sure fits Ragatha, but everything else is a pretty good representation of what I hope to achieve with her!

Jax: Prolly my favorite thing about Jax is how differently he carries himself in relation to everyone else. He's maliciously annoying, self-aware, and ironically more of a jester than the character who's avatar is a literal jester. He embraces being stuck in the circus like it's his first choice, instead of something he's settling for. He's an intriguing character and i'm curious to see how he'll evolve (or de-volve if Goose's comments are anything to go by)

In writing this, I'm struggling to put into words how exactly I want his theme to sound, but this track is a pretty good encapsulation of it! There's a sort-of confidence in it it and a jaunty forward-momentum that carries through the whole piece. I think that vibe really suits Jax. There's also an air of non-chalance that parallels how lackadaisical he is with everything. I feel that, since Jax doesn't take much of anything seriously, neither should his music lol

It almost reminds me of the music Vince Guaraldi composed for the Peanuts specials. His character themes always had this hip, carefree vibe to them, especially tracks like Peppermint Patty, which will also be an inspiration on Jax's tune.

Gangle: In case anybody hasn’t caught on, Gangle is my faaavorite character from the show, and I really want to do her justice, so it took me a good while to figure out just what I wanted to do for her.

That being said, the genre I'm gravitating towards most for her (at least while writing this) is gypsy jazz. For those who may not know, gypsy jazz (or jazz manouche) is a French style of jazz that uses solely string instruments; mainly violin, guitar, and double bass. It's a beautiful genre of music, and I think it's a perfect fit for Gangle <3

I imagine something playful, gentle, unassuming, and a tad saucy, at least when she's wearing her comedy mask. For her tragedy mask, I think it'd be fun for the tone to turn dramatically sad, and have the music structure fall apart, much like her mask. I'd really like to integrate piano in some way to highlight her sensitivity.

If anyone has any other ideas, please lemme know in the comments or DM me if u wish! Gods know I could use some inspiration ^^

Kinger: And now we come to Mr. Poll Winner himself! I'm honestly really glad that Kinger won, because I have more confidence in the ideas i've come up with for him than I am for a great majority of the others.

Knowing what we know now, I see Kinger as a very sweet, sentimental, yet ultimately tragic figure, so like with Ragatha, that's definitely something that's going to influence how his theme will sound.

This is probably my favorite of the temp themes, and definitely the one I want to stick closest to when I start writing for him. Everything about it just screams "Kinger" to me and I think is a near-perfect musical summarization of his character; the plodding simplicity, the almost-dreamlike surrealistic quality to the melody, the subtle melancholia, the chord progression, all of it. I think it gels with Kinger exceptionally well, which is why I've included two versions; one light, one dark.

The question is: do u all agree? ovo

Zooble: In searching for the right genre for Zooble, I've settled on what I call “Motown lofi”. Something that gives off swanky 90s “cool” vibes. Funky, mellow, bluesy, with a lil extra punch. Zooble is mostly low-energy but very much a plain-speaker, so I think this kinda music of music pairs nicely with them!

Amon Tobin’s Like Regular Chickens is another good example of what I'm going for. This one's very strange, kinda abstract, and prolly not most people's cup of tea, but I think it's neat and a pretty fitting sound for Zooble (maybe a little less intense in parts lol)

Caine: The logic behind Caine's theme is that it should be "annoying to everyone else, but he would love it". Something that he'd have no problem listening to every day on repeat, but nobody else can stand.

My first idea was really garish, campy carnival attraction music (more generally, Hammond organ music), represented in the first half. That stuck for awhile, but then I thought abt doing a pastiche of 80/90s sitcom intro type music, represented in the second half, which I think also works.

I feel like both could work, maybe even together, but I'm still undecided. I think wacky obnoxious organ music is PERFECTLY in line with Caine as a character, but the 90s route might be the more appropriate way to go, since it would to share some continuity with Digital Days from the credits (one of my fav songs from the soundtrack along with Not Alone and Somebody Real) We'll see what happens LMAO

Bubble: I’d always jokingly entertained the notion of making a theme for Bubble, but never put much serious thought into it until @mikiib asked for it, so here he is on this list.

The idea I settled on was “underwater Mario level?”, and the more I thought about it, i’ve decided that’s the direction i’ll probably go with Bubble’s tune. I imagine it being very "spacey" and floaty. Very peaceful and relaxing, but still rich with untamed weirdness, which is what makes Bubble fun :3

Mik also had the idea of using bubbly noises as percussion, which I DEF want to try! I've never really been experimental with percussion before so this'll be a fun opportunity to branch out!!

Other Characters: Last month I wrote a sweet militaristic-y march song for the Princess and the Candy Canyon Kingdom, but as far as other characters, I can't think of many I'd like to dedicate entire fully-fledged arrangements to, at least not presently. Maybe little ditties tho, that'd be fun!

I kinda wanna write something in tribute to Gummigoo since I really like him and think he deserves it. Something very ethnic and full of fun tribal instruments.

I have one for Baron Mildenhall that I haven't posted yet, and I've got a spooky lullaby I wrote for Ghostly (as well as for @mikiib) that I'll probably post tmrw for Halloween. Martha might get one too, she seems fun :3

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ll start with some news.

I am currently locked out of my twitter account. We did everything we could to try to get it back, but no matter what happens, it will most likely take some time.

I don’t like bringing attention to this kind of stuff because we have tons of other things to talk about which are more important than some toddlers trying to obliterate us for 1000th time (frankly I would rather talk about the colour of Leona’s butthole), but this time it’s kind of serious and important. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but for now I wanted to say that if we won’t get the account back in time or will lose it indefinitely, we will have to ask for your help. I am sorry for that in advance.

Also, if you were discussing/working on commissions with me via DMs there, please email me or contact me via any other platform as soon as possible. Just in case.

Mass-reporting is wild, eh?

I am rambling a bit, and I didn’t really want to complain, because I know for a fact it would give satisfaction to some people, but you know? I am going to complain: it sucks ass. It happened at the worst time possible and it happened over nothing (literally, the art that got it was a Todd/Wallace non-sexual piece that got too many likes for children’s liking). I don’t care if people don’t like us, I don’t care if they gossip with their girlies about us, all I want is for them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do our thing in peace. Imagine being so unbelievably boring and so incredibly unlikeable and unable to make meaningful connections not only with other people but also with any kind of media that you just have to go out of your way to ruin things for others because this is the only thing that makes your immature brain produce something that even remotely resembles joy. Because your own pathetic self is so deeply insecure and constantly frustrated at yourself that you just have to create an illusion of control over someone else to feel important. I can’t even call it a troll behavior – at least trolls are funny sometimes. This is just someone who hit a midlife crisis at the age of 16 and made it my problem for some reason.  

And yet, it’s okay. Even if we end up losing our account, it’ll be a huge disappointment and it will hurt us tremendously, it already did. And it’s scary to think about this scenario, and it’s difficult to talk about how, if it happens, that it’s going to be okay. But eventually we’ll get over it and build ourselves up again, just like we did before several times. And these clowns will still be boring, unlikeable, lonely and very likely shit at drawing.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and block everyone who seems suspicious on sight. It’s not a panacea, but certainly is helpful.

Alright, time to talk about Leona’s butthole (not really, but we will talk about SebeMal, and it’s even better) 💪

Anonymous asked:

Seeing Vanitas made me curious about something: did you ever read Pandora Hearts? I think for a lot of people that series went hand in hand with Black Butler as the main "victorian aesthetic mangas" from the late '00/early '10. Gothic lolitas really had it all back then..

Ohh you’re so right Anon, it was the ultimate late ‘00/early ’10 aesthetic! Boys in vests with bows/ties, crosses and rosaries and traumatic and problematic backstories lol I really miss it sometimes. What an era.

I personally haven’t read/watched Pandora Hearts, but Katsu did! But it was even before we met… So my only association with this title is that Katsu’s old username was “ozbezariusnya” 🥰 Oh, and that Gilbert (?) looks very cute, but let’s be honest, of course I would think he is cute.

nebula-ryuu asked:

Regarding my question, I mean if the Malleus and Sebek ship has a dynamic or a context 😅😅 a background or a story. I have a certain feeling about what it is like but I don't want to affirm anything hehe

I don't know if I made what I said better understood, in any case I can explain it again, no problem 🙏

Oh! Thank you for clarifying!

As for our background for shipping them, we just really really love loyal characters that are a bit unhinged about their loyalty and love/obsession. So we didn’t even have a choice, they stole our hearts… and Malleus is very interesting in his interactions with Sebek too; he is annoyed by him sometimes, but he tolerates a lot and teases him.

As for the ship itself, we tend to think that in addition to Sebek being loyal and obsessive with Malleus, he is also deeply in love with him ever since he was a child. He is conflicted because he really wants to be his lover, but also thinks that he isn’t worthy. Malleus is amused by Sebek and allows him to do much more than he probably should. Actually, I think I talked about their dynamic in this post!

I hope I understood you correctly. Thank you for your question! And if you have any more questions, please let me know.

Anonymous asked:

would Lilia and Azul ever fight over who gets to have Idia?

Replied here! Thank you for your question, Anon.

[onigiriico]

Mikoto audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify | YouTube ]

Mikoto-ing again 🫡 I know I say this like every other post, but I 100% recommend listening to the audio alongside the translation! On one hand the VAs just did an amazing job on this, and on the other hand I also feel like it'll. probably make the switches more obvious than I can convey in text lol

Little disclaimer about the way I translated the DID terminology here: I know the correct term in English is "alter", but in the JP audio they're consistently referred to as "personalities" (人格 / jinkaku) while the closest Japanese equivalent to "alter" seems to be 自我 / jiga, from what I could find. I generally try to stick as closely to the JP terminology with my translations as possible, so I mostly went with "personality". I really don't want to offend anyone here so I hope that's a somewhat okay choice ahshbsdj

Okay. Okay that got lengthy. As usual, if you find any mistranslations, have questions, etc etc feel free to send me an ask or hit me up on Twitter where I drop by, like, once a month 😅 And now without further ado:

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(Es enters)

E: Mikoto…

M: Ah… Hi, Warden-kun.

E: You… are Mikoto, right?

M: Uh… What are you talking about? It really feels like it’s been a while, doesn’it? How have you been? – Huh? What’s that…? Chains? Oh, no. Take them off!

E: I refuse. You’re too dangerous. Physical restrictions are necessary.

M: Umm… (laughs) What are you saying, restricting someone who can’t even hurt a fly?

E: You really aren’t aware, huh…

M: Well, I mean… I do get it. I… go out of control while I’m asleep, right?

E: …

M: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot.

E: Seems like it, yeah.

M: I wonder if it’s like… some kind of sleepwalking…? After all, I’ve been losing sleep more and more often recently… Man… It’s really troublesome, isn’t it?

E: Mikoto…

M: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room.

E: …

M: It’s pretty tough, isn’t it? (laughs) Ever since I came here, so much has been happening that I don’t understand…

E: … You really… do laugh when you’re suffering, huh?

M: Huh?

E: You don’t get angry. You don’t scream. You laugh, like it’s a minor inconvenience.

M: Ah… I guess so. I might have that kind of trait.

E: …

M: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities.

E: Is that so…

M: (laughs) …But… it’s not coming to an end. All of this. With things I’ve never even heard before, the whole ti—

E: …

M: —the whole time… I have to make all these irritating experiences…!

E: You came out, huh.

M: Hey. Looks like you haven’t gotten a beating yet, Warden brat.

E: …!

M: Hah? What, are you scared?

E: Like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko…!

M: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and it’s not like I lost there.

E: Multiple personalities… Am I right with the assumption that the you I’m talking to right now is another personality of Mikoto’s?

M: Well, I guess that’s about right.

E: I see. What do you want me to call you?

M: Huh? You’re accepting this pretty readily, aren’t you. Wouldn’t the whole multiple personalities thing normally raise some eyebrows?

E: Yeah. I also didn’t think it was real, at first.

M: Figures. If it wasn’t me, I wouldn’t believe it either. I’d just think it’s a lie someone came up with to get away with murder.

E: But Milgram acknowledges that [it is real] in your case. I simply accept that as the truth, and develop my thoughts from there. So? What do you want me to call you? Your name.

M: No clue about that. Just call me whatever.

E: … For convenience, I’ll be calling you John.

M: Sounds like a dog’s name.

E: It’s derived from John Doe, the name given to unidentified bodies. Do you like it?

M: Can’t say I’m very fond of the way you’re flaunting your knowledge.

E: … Anyway. You’re acting pretty calm today, aren’t you? I thought of you more like a monster of some sort. I wasn’t expecting to have such a proper conversation with you.

M: Don’t get cocky! If not for these chains, I would’ve beaten your face in by now, brat.

E: Ohh, scary, scary.

M: Hmph.

E: John, you are not a prisoner of Milgram. The fact that Milgram’s usual restraints are ineffective against you is more proof for that than anything. Milgram has judged that Mikoto is the prisoner, and you, as his alter, are an exception.

M: Huhh, I see. So that’s why you believe that there’s multiple personalities.

E: That’s why I thought I would try and talk to you as a key witness today. I’m rather glad that you’re being cooperative.

M: But, you know… This isn’t a good thing, probably.

E: What do you mean?

M: I (boku) might be trying to disappear.

E: …

M: Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this “me” has been able to stabilize. Isn’t that the reason we can talk properly?

E: …

M: If I had stayed a monster… maybe that would be better.

E: …

M: What?

E: You’ve turned out to be much more rational than I expected… I’m surprised.

M: I’m a university graduate, after all.

E: (sighs)

M: As for alters… Why do you think they’re born?

E: In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder – generally speaking, [it refers to] when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate [the original personality] from the resulting trauma.

M: Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress.

E: Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right?

M: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.

E: I see.

M: Not like I can blame him. From his point of view, he’s being blamed for a crime he can’t even remember.

E: If that’s the truth, then… you’re the one who committed the murder?

M: Yeah, it’s me. I killed them off.

E: …

M: So Boku really didn’t do it.

E: Can I ask… why you killed them?

M: They annoyed me.

E: Who did you kill?

M: Just someone who was walking around nearby.

E: … How many did you kill?

M: Can’t remember. I was first born back then, you know. It’s kinda fuzzy.

E: How can you talk about that so calmly?

M: (sighs) According to the law, how would this go for Boku?

E: With a psychiatric evaluation, there’s a chance of a reduced sentence, but depending on the number of victims… the death penalty might be inevitable.

M: …! I– I’m the one who did it! Boku was just sleeping!

E: Is this really something that works that conveniently?

M: Just put yourself in Boku’s shoes for a moment! He was bottling up all his stress! He kept dealing with it all by himself the whole time, until it exploded! It’s not like he just decided that he wanted to hurt somebody!

E: …

M: He’s not the type of person who could do stuff like that! He always looks out for others, always reads the room, always tries to get along with people around him! He can’t do stuff like that… He was on the verge of exploding! That’s why I was born. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Boku didn’t do anything!

E: Even if that’s true… Even if it wasn’t what Mikoto wanted – someone’s life was still lost.

M: …!

E: Even if it was you, John, who was in [your body at the time] – there’s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that you’re pretending—

M: You…!! What do you think?

E: I…?

M: I’m the one who did it! Boku didn’t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I don’t care about the law, I want to know what you think!

E: …

M: Please… forgive Boku. I’m the one who did it.

E: … I can’t… judge that right away. It’s not something that I can easily decide to forgive. In fact, Mikoto’s mental footage was so violent… it’s unforgivable. That’s how I judged.

M: That could also just be a fake or owed to the multiple personalities, right?! Boku really isn’t at fault! I’m the one who killed them!

E: …

M: Are you really satisfied [with the unforgiven judgment]? He turned into a murderer overnight!

E: What you did could still be considered a sin, though!

M: …! … I think… I might be the person Boku wishes he was. The person who stubbornly stands his ground, who doesn’t cry himself to sleep from stress, who gives people their payback. If I, the “ore” personality, hadn’t been born, I’m sure Boku would have reached his limit and fallen apart.

E: John… you…

M: It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?

E: I’ll be considering that after this.

M: After talking to you, I get that you couldn’t forgive what I did. And I’m fine with that.

E: …Yeah. That’s right.

M: The one Milgram is supposed to judge is Boku – Mikoto, right. He’s not me – so, not John.

E: Precisely.

M: Please, forgive Boku. If you don’t… I’m sure he won’t be able to deal with this any longer.

E: “A sin committed by another personality isn’t a sin”... you’re telling me that’s how I should judge?

M: Yeah. If you forgive Boku… I’ll disappear.

E: …

M: That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear, and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect Boku, after all.

E: You were… born for it…

M: Yeah. If it’s for Boku, I’ll… do anything.

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

E: John…

M: W…what? A dog’s name?

E: Mikoto…?

M: Warden-kun, you own a dog? What breed? No, wait, let me try guessing first– A toy poodle? Actually, maybe you surprisingly prefer the ugly-cute kind… like a French bulldog!

E: … No…

M: A pug, then?

E: It’s not the name of a dog!

M: Ehh… Then what…?

E: … It’s the name of your… friend.

M: (laughs) I don’t know anyone like that~

E: … I bet you don’t.

M: Huh…?

E: Prisoner no.9, Mikoto. Sing your sins.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[oliviablancmom]

"Pedriiii - Bonus Chapter''

N/A: And as promised, here is the bonus chapter. Have a look at how things are going for Pedri, Isa, and Axel. I hope you enjoy it.

Ps: I just realized now that this image might contain spoilers. lol

One Month Later

Axel was a very active and talkative child, especially when he felt comfortable around someone. It was like that with Pedri, with his friends, and also with the player’s family. Seeing him now, sitting in complete silence, was strange, mainly because he was about to do something he had always wanted, ever since he had understood it, and had tirelessly asked Isa to be able to go onto the field with Pedri. When the request came directly from his favorite player, Axel was over the moon. Isa didn’t even know how to calm him down, he was so excited about the invitation. Hours and days were talking about it excitedly, and now that the day had finally arrived, all that energy had passed, when it should have been the opposite.

“Well, at least we know that when he becomes a player he will be very focused,” Gavi said beside Isa while looking at the little boy.

“I love how you all already assume he will be a player,” Isa said reluctantly. Fernando looked at her and laughed.

“I love how you haven’t accepted that he will be a player yet,” Fer said, standing up and patting Isa on the shoulder. “You need to accept the facts, it will be less painful when it happens,” he said humorously. Isa rolled her eyes at him. She knew that the chances of Axel wanting to pursue a football career were high; he had inherited his grandfather’s passion for the sport. Now, with the presence of the club’s players in his life, Isa was sure that this would influence him even more.

“Isa, it’s time,” one of the club staff entered the room where they were. Isa nodded and walked to where Axel was sitting.

“Hey, baby, you have to go now,” Isa crouched next to her son. His eyes were shining, and Isa was sure of how nervous he was. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Isa said understandingly. Axel made a face.

“I want to go, but do you think Pedri wants me there?” Axel asked insecurely. He always got like this after spending a few hours with his father, but Isa understood her son’s insecurities; after all, she had her own when it came to the player.

“Are you kidding? Pedri has been counting the days for this moment, buddy,” Fer said, crouching next to Isa in front of Axel. The youngest looked at him, still seeming uncertain.

“Isa, he has to go with the other kids,” the staff member repeated. Axel looked at Isa and then at Gavi.

“Gavi, will you go with me?” Axel asked shyly. Gavi approached and picked him up.

“Of course, buddy, if it makes you feel better,” Gavi said, hugging him. “Deep down, deep down, I know I’m your favorite,” Gavi teased. Axel raised his eyebrows, looking offended, which made Fernando laugh.

“You know you not,” Axel said, hitting Gavi’s shoulder. The two left the room talking about something.

“Let’s go to the stands,” Fer pulled Isabella outside, and the woman could feel her nervousness taking over. When she arrived, she saw her father already excited, singing songs of the crowd. Pedri’s parents greeted her with a warm hug.

“You’re freezing, dear,” Rosy, Pedri's mom said, holding Isa’s hand. “Oh, I understand, I always get like this when Pedri goes onto the field,” the woman hugged Isabella in a comforting way.

Isa still found it strange the relationship she was having with the player’s family. They were so welcoming since the game against PSG. They sent messages asking Axel if she was okay. They gathered at Isa’s father’s house just to chat, and they even took Axel for outings. Isa found it strange because she had never had that experience before. Her ex-mother-in-law made sure to criticize her all the time, especially the way she raised Axel. And with her current mother-in-law, everything was different, well, Isa didn’t know if she could call her that, since she and Pedri were not officially in a relationship. This left her even more confused.

“They’re coming in,” Rosy said excitedly, holding Isa’s hand. Isa’s father stood up as if a goal had been scored, holding Fer by the shoulders and shaking him excitedly. Isa laughed at the scene and turned her attention to the field. Pedri was the last to enter, and unlike the other players who were holding hands with their respective kids, Pedri was carrying Axel in his arms.

“He got shy,” Fer concluded. The pre-game processes were finished, and Isa saw when Pedri walked to the edge of the field and handed Axel to Gavi, who was waiting there.

“Aw, a good older son,” Fer said, turning with a mocking smile to Isabella, who rolled her eyes. “I’m going to get something for Axel to eat. Do you want anything, sis?” Isa frowned and just shook her head. Fer looked confused at her and then left.

After a few minutes, Gavi arrived with Axel, who was talking again. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were sparkling with excitement.

“Mom, did you see me out there?” he asked excitedly while jumping into his mother’s lap. “It was so cool.”

“You did very well, Axel,” Rosy said, kissing the boy’s hand. “Did you like it?”

“Yeeeees, it was cool to see everyone from the field,” he said excitedly.

“Soon it will be you entering the field with a child,” Pedri’s father said, picking Axel up from Isa’s lap and starting a conversation with the little boy.

“You’re acting strange,” Gavi said beside her, watching her. Isabella looked at him stunned.

“You freeze every time Pedri’s family shows affection for Axel,” Gavi concluded. Isa was sometimes surprised by how observant Gavi was and how well he read her.

“Don’t you find it strange? They hardly know him and treat him like this...” Isa said quietly, hoping the noise of the stadium was enough for the player’s family not to hear her.

“Wow, I know Axel’s father’s family was horrible to you, but to the point of you finding it strange for your son to be well treated?” Gavi asked curiously.

“You have no idea,” Isa muttered, watching Axel get excited with Fer approaching with a bag of popcorn.

“Well, you’re Pedri’s girlfriend now, so it’s natural for them to treat you well,” Gavi concluded.

“I’m not Pedri’s girlfriend,” Isa said in a louder tone, attracting Fer’s attention, who looked confused at her again but soon returned his attention to Axel, who was telling him something.

“What are you talking about?” Gavi asked confused. “Fernando would have already said on Instagram that you weren’t if you weren’t,” he said humorously, making Isa laugh. “And I don’t think his family would interact so much with you and Axel if you weren’t. Believe me, he tells everything to his parents and takes their opinion very seriously.”

“I know, but we haven’t talked about it...” Isa said, watching Pedri run across the field.

“Oh my God, my brother is so dumb,” Fer said, turning again to face Isa. Axel looked at Fernando with a frown.

“Don’t talk about Pedri like that, Fer” Axel reprimanded him, and Fer was shocked.

“You two are very united, I’m at a disadvantage here. How am I going to speak ill of him now?” Fer asked indignantly. “I brought you popcorn, you have to let me talk bad about him a little.”

“Stop tormenting the boy,” Pedri’s father picked Axel up from his son’s lap. Fer looked offended, making Isa laugh.

Barcelona won the match. For the first time, the team seemed to have found a rhythm, and that was reassuring. Isa was in her car in the stadium’s parking lot. There were only a few minutes left until the match ended. Axel was sleeping peacefully in the back seat and would probably wake up only the next day. Early in the second half, he started complaining about a headache. Isa concluded that it was the adrenaline of entering the field finally passing and giving way to exhaustion, which Isa also shared. The woman had advanced all her work so she could have a day off and accompany Axel’s special day. And also, her mind couldn’t stop thinking about her relationship with Pedri. Since the game against PSG, Pedri’s presence had become constant, but at no time did they talk about what their relationship status was. Isa was looking at social media; she and Axel were already on the player’s fan pages, which also speculated about the nature of their relationship. Isa put her phone back in her pocket and leaned her head on the seat, closing her eyes. After a few minutes, the sound of someone knocking on the window woke her up, and she looked outside, seeing the player smiling at her. She unlocked the car, expecting him to get into the passenger seat, but instead, he opened the driver’s door.

“I’ll drive,” he said firmly. Isa didn’t argue, just jumped into the passenger seat. Pedri got in, looked at Axel in the back seat, and then at Isa. He leaned in to buckle the seatbelt for her, and she looked at him curiously. Isa wanted to ask him, but she was too shy to do so, and she was also a little dazed; Isa loved seeing Pedri play, but she also loved how he looked after a match, his messy hair, the confident look, the flushed cheeks. Pedri narrowed his eyes at her, a smile at the corners of his lips.

“What?” he asked, but Isabella just shook her head, forcing herself to return to reality. “What were you thinking about?” Isa felt her cheeks warm.

“Nothing... ” she shrugged

Pedri smiled and leaned in to kiss her, and then he drove out of the stadium toward her apartment.

Pedri could see that something was bothering her. The entire silent drive to the apartment showed that. His brother and Gavi calling him dumb and stupid were also hints. Pedri was sitting in Isa’s apartment living room while she put Axel to bed. It didn’t take long for her to return, and she stopped when she saw him sitting on the couch.

“You’re still here?” Isa asked cautiously, and Pedri found the woman’s cold reaction strange. He raised an eyebrow at her.

“What’s wrong, Isabella?” Pedri asked, watching the woman open her mouth several times to say something, but nothing came out. She seemed frustrated.

“Nothing,” she huffed and walked to the kitchen. Pedri followed her, stopping behind her with his arms on either side of her body, so she ended up trapped between the sink and him. Pedri could spend days looking at her, and he would never get tired. He was obsessed with her; it was all about her, the perfectly sculpted face, the sweet and welcoming smile, the way she raised Axel. The big brown eyes were looking at a point behind Pedri, and now he was sure that something was wrong because normally, when they were this close, her eyes were on his face, mapping it.

“Isabella...” Pedri held her face, forcing her to look at him. “What happened?”

“What are we?” Pedri was confused for a moment, thinking he had already been clear about his feelings for her.

“Is that why you’re in a bad mood?” Pedri asked humorously. Isa rolled her eyes, pushing him away and going to sit on the couch. Pedri followed her, still laughing at her mood. Pedri always enjoyed it when Isa showed her feelings. “I thought it was clear what we had,” Pedri sat next to her, who continued to ignore him. This time, it was Pedri who rolled his eyes. He moved a little closer and extended his hand to her face, pulling her so she would look at him. Isa’s big eyes were shining, and only now did he realize how serious she was.

“You’re married, Isabella,” Pedro said humorously, and Isa opened her mouth, surprised by his words. Pedri let out a little laugh. “We’re together, but to make things official, I don’t want that point between us.”

“Well, that never stopped you before,” this time it was Isa who said mockingly and humorously, and Pedri rolled his eyes, offended, moving away from her. Isa let out a giggle and sat on the player’s lap, holding his face and leaving kisses all over his face.

“I thought you were too smart for this,” Pedri said, holding Isa’s waist, who looked at him, not understanding. “Another thing you told me when we met at the nightclub,” Pedri kissed her neck. “That you were too smart to fall for my flirting.” Isa laughed, and Pedri felt his heart skip a beat; he loved her laugh, and he made wishes in his head so he could hear that laugh for many, many years.

******************************************

Three months later

"Pedriiii," Axel came running down the hallway looking for the player, holding his tiny soccer cleats in his hands. "Can you help me put them on?" Pedri laughed at the boy's eagerness. Today was a big day; Axel was going to play his first soccer game with his football class. At his age, everything was playful and introductory, without the pressure of professionalism, but still, it was an experience Axel was very excited and focused on. Pedri always talked to and supported the boy, encouraging him to enjoy the moment and not take it too seriously. Of course, at the end of the day, all the talk went out the window when Gavi showed up saying, "They are all our enemies; we can’t feel sorry for anyone."

"Axel, baby. Your father won’t be able to attend the game; he wasn’t given time off from work, but he wished you good luck." Isa appeared in the room. Pedri felt a strange sensation at the mention of the man and repressed the urge to roll his eyes at the excuse. It was his son’s first game, and he couldn’t make an effort. Axel shrugged at the information, not seeming affected, and Pedri mentally thanked, as he would hate anyone who spoiled Axel’s joy that day. "Go get your bag from your room, or we’ll be late." Axel ran to his room, and Isa took the opportunity to approach Pedri, hugging him. Pedri inhaled the woman’s perfume; he loved the intoxicating feeling it caused in his senses.

“Thank you,” she whispered in the player’s ear, causing a shiver. Axel returned to the room, running to Pedri's lap, making Isa roll her eyes at the boy’s preference.

“Pedri, don’t forget to control pop's so the coach doesn’t kick him out again.” Isa stopped in her tracks, staring at the two with wide eyes. Pedri felt his body go cold and looked at Axel, who seemed to realize what he had just said.

“What?” she asked, shocked by the information.

“He’s joking, love.” Isa looked suspicious while Axel hid his face in the player’s neck with small giggles.

Pedri had left Axel in the locker room with the other children. His appearance caused a bit of a stir among them, almost getting him kicked out by the coach too, but he managed to calm them down with the promise that he would take photos with all of them after the match. This resulted in Axel having a huge pout on his face while ignoring Pedri’s goodbye... the jealousy... like mother, like son.

Pedri headed to the stands where his family was. His mother was chatting animatedly with Isa’s stepmother, while his father was next to Isa’s father, who seemed to be too calm to what he usually was. When he noticed the player approaching, they exchanged a look of recognition.

“I thought we had a secret, my dear.” Pedri let out a little laugh while greeting his father-in-law.

“Complain to your grandson.” Pedri shrugged.

“She grounded me, but she’s there with the one responsible for the mess.” Isa’s father said, nodding towards where his daughter was. Pedri looked towards the edge of the field, where Isa was talking with Fer and Gavi, the latter hugging the woman who was laughing at something Pedri’s brother was saying.

“Don't worry, I'll make her see who he truly is,” Pedri said, laughing.

“Pedri, leave him alone, poor thing.” Pedri’s mother said.

“Poor thing because you don’t know the thing.” Pedri headed towards the three, and as soon as Isa noticed him approaching, she gave Pedri a cynical look.

“You have your child; I have mine.” She said, referring to Gavi, who gave a smug laugh.

“Now I know where Axel gets his jealous side from,” Pedri said humorously.

“Oh brother, you’re not far behind. You almost had a meltdown at that event because Bellingham greeted Isa and played with Axel.” Fer said, laughing at his brother, who scowled. Gavi burst into laughter, remembering the scene. Pedri looked at him and, seeing that he was about to say something more, so he intervened.

“You keep quiet, Gavira, or I'll tell her your secret...” Isa stopped hugging Gavi and looked at him attentively.

“You’re the only one who believes in his saintly face, Isa,” Fer said beside him, and soon he and Gavi started teasing each other. Isabella laughed at the scene and went to Pedri’s side, hugging him. The two shared a silent exchange of affection until Axel’s game began, and Isa started showing her motherly side. Ironically, Pedri had to hold her when she almost fought with a mother from the opposing team who's child had knocked Axel down rather harshly, which, of course, provided excellent ammunition for Isa’s father to tease his daughter.

*****************************************

Six months later

"Are you sure about this?" Isa asked for the thousandth time that day, making Pedri roll his eyes.

"Jesus... baby. Have you always been this anxious?" Pedri looked at the woman who was leaning against the door frame, staring at the large room, the room of the house that would be theirs. Ever since he had suggested they move in together, Isa had been showing signs of insecurity. Pedri walked over to her, holding her by the waist and pulling her into the house. Isa looked at him coyly. "There is nothing I want more than this, Isa. A house with you and Axel." Isa smiled at him, and God, how Pedri loved the woman's smile and the way her eyes sparkled for him.

"Pedriiii," Axel ran into the house.

"See, Axel. I told you they would be stalling while we do the heavy work," Fer said, dropping a box in the middle of the room.

"That's the first box you've picked up," Pedri said, looking at his brother while picking Axel up in his arms.

"Can we swim?" Axel asked excitedly. Ever since they had visited the house for the first time, the little boy had been excited about the pool in the backyard.

"Later, when everyone is here," Pedri replied. Axel nodded in understanding and got down from the player's arms, going to sit next to Fer on the couch.

Pedri saw Isa go upstairs and decided to follow her. In the past few days, the woman had been a bundle of nerves and anxiety, and he, more than anyone, understood all her fears, honestly, the idea that she might change her mind disturbed him to his core. He found her standing at the door of Axel's room. Pedri approached her, hugging her from behind. He kissed the back of her neck, making her giggle as she turned to face him.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked once more. "I'm a mother, and we have an age difference. I don't want you to take on such a big responsibility unless you're sure."

"You know we only have a four-year and a few months' difference, right?" Pedri said with humor. "And I am sure. I've been sure since the first time I saw you." Isa frowned.

"At the nightclub?" she asked, confused, and Pedri laughed, kissing her face.

"Yes, at the nightclub..." Isabella looked at him skeptically. "I am sure about this, baby. I've always been sure I wanted this, given the upbringing and family I had. But it was something distant until I met you and Axel. The moment you two came into my life, I knew I didn't want it with anyone else but you two." Pedri kissed Isa's forehead and wiped away the tears that streamed down her face. She kissed him so intensely that Pedri was sure he fell in love with her all over again.

********************************************

One Year Later

Isa could feel her heart in her throat, she could feel how fast it was beating, her hands were shaking uncontrollably, and tears were streaming down her face. Barcelona had won the Champions League, in an El Clásico, with an incredible comeback, and with the essential participation of Gavi and Pedri. The latter played an extraordinary game, the quality of his passes, his assists, and his leadership on the field. Isa felt her chest tighten with pride, or maybe she was having a heart attack. After all, no one expected or imagined that Barcelona would have such strength this season. As soon as the referee blew the final whistle, the stadium roared with a roar, a roar that had been stuck in their throats for years. An official came to the box to call the players' families to enter the field. Axel was ecstatic, his face red and swollen from crying. Isa wasn't sure if he understood the enormity of everything that was happening or if he was just carried away by his grandfather's emotions and Pedri's family. The player's mother was trembling so much, with a proud look on her face, and in the last minutes of extra time, the elderly woman had squeezed Isa's hand so tightly that it left marks. Pedri's father had picked Axel up, explaining that this way he wouldn't feel unwell. The player's brother had knelt to cry, and Isa hugged him, his tears soaking the woman's shirt. She admired the relationship they had so much. Even Isa's father had cried, and the man was usually tough, but he had cried, and Isa couldn't take him seriously because he was wearing a shirt he had received from Pedri's fans, a shirt with a picture of Gavi and Axel with the words "proud grandfather," and of course, the number 8 on the back, which he wore proudly.

"Pedriiii" Axel jumped down from Pedri's father's arms and ran across the field towards the player, who knelt to pick up the little boy. Isa felt her eyes welling up with tears again, and she tried to control herself for the photos. Isa stood back, wanting to let the boy's parents enjoy the moment. After all, they had worked so hard to get to that day.

"Isaaa," Gavi approached, hugging her.

"Gavira, congratulations, you deserve it so much. I'm so happy, I feel like a proud mother," Isa hugged him tightly. Isa looked behind the boy, and as if reading her mind, Gavi hurried to speak.

"She went to calm the things first" Gavi rolled his eyes, making Isa laugh.

Before they could continue the conversation, Isa's father approached, pulling Gavi towards him. The man gave Gavi a tight hug and gave him a speech about how proud he was of the boy. Gavi was almost crying, and the two were in an honest conversation, Isa could only think about how she had lost her father and son to Barcelona players.

"Hi, Ms. Gonzalez. You look beautiful" Ferran approached, greeting her with a hug.

"Thank you, Ferran, you too. Congratulations, you were amazing."

"Thank you, Isa. It's beautiful to see a father and his favorite kid," the player joked, looking at Gavi and Isa's father.

"Can you believe that?" Isa said indignantly. "He doesn't even hide that he has a favorite." Ferran laughed.

"Look at the size of your darling's pout. If there weren't cameras all around, he would have thrown me away by now," Ferran joked, pointing to Pedri on the other side of the field, who was looking their way but quickly looked away when he realized they were watching him. "Wow, I just had a major déjà vu," Ferran said, and Isa looked confused. "From when he saw you for the first time," he concluded.

"At the club?" Isa asked curiously, and Ferran chuckled.

"That wasn't the first time Pedri saw you." Isa looked at Pedri and then back at Ferran, who laughed at her reaction. "We were in the media room recording for the club, you walked in, and he was mesmerized. You didn't even notice him, but the boy was taken," Isa's mouth dropped open in shock.

"My God, I thought he saw me at the club."

"No, that was his stalker phase. He overheard you talking with the social media girls about going to that club and forced us to go with him," Ferran said, laughing. "He risked his 'I'd rather stay home, I don't like parties' reputation for you." Isa laughed out loud at the newly acquired information and looked at her boyfriend, who was frowning.

"Let me go over there or he'll get rid of you..." Isa said, laughing and hugging Ferran goodbye.

Isa walked slowly towards her boyfriend, who was watching his brother run after Axel, but his face was serious. He saw Isa approaching but paid no attention. She rolled her eyes and put her arms around the player's waist, who didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Congratulations, mi amor," Isa said, leaning in to kiss the player, but he turned his face. "PEDRI," she said indignantly and pinched his arm, making him laugh and finally look at her and wrap his arms around her. Isa observed the player's face and never got tired of doing so. She loved looking at every little detail of his face.

"I can only accept sharing your attention with Gavi, and just because you and your father force me," he said, looking into Isa's eyes. The sparkle in them made the butterflies in her stomach take flight. "You congratulated them first," he said, feeling hurt.

"Love, it was your parents' moment," Isa explained, holding Pedri's face. "I am so proud, you were incredible throughout the championship, but today you were a level above everyone," Isa said proudly and saw Pedri's cheeks, already flushed from the game, turn even rosier, and his eyes filled with tears. He lowered his head, resting on her shoulder, the intimacy of the embrace putting them in their world as if it were just the two of them, nothing else around. But they were soon brought back to reality when they heard Fer shouting.

"Axel, no, your mother is going to kill me." Isa turned so quickly to see what her son was doing, and when she saw, she felt like strangling her boyfriend's brother. Axel was holding a bottle of champagne, shaking it, and trying to open it.

"My God..." Pedri muttered behind her amused by the scene, laughing at his brother running after the boy to try to get the bottle. Before Isa could go after the boy, Pedri pulled her back to him. "Let it be... Fer is watching, I want you here with me," Pedri said in her ear.

"Gross, what you two want to do can't be done here on the field, for God's sake," Gavi suddenly appeared next to them, startling them. Gavi laughed and tried to pull Isa into a hug, but Pedri prevented him.

"What's with you all competing for my girlfriend's attention?" Pedri said indignantly.

"It's not my fault she prefers me," Gavi winked at Isa, "and besides, sons have priority," Gavi teased, and Pedri rolled his eyes.

"Your brother is trying to get drunk, so why don't you go bother him before my brother has a heart attack from stress," Pedri pointed to Fer, who was still chasing Axel, who was laughing as he ran away.

"My God, I leave you for a minute..." Gavi said, moving away and running after Axel.

It was past three in the morning, the music was already playing at a lower volume, and there were remnants of burst balloons around the yard. Isa’s father had prepared a party for when the team returned to Barcelona after the final, as he was certain that victory and the title would come. And since it was more intimate than a nightclub, most of the players, staff, and families had attended; it had been completely lively, yet cozy. Several players had gotten drunk, even the club president had enjoyed everything, all of them forgetting that they would walk through the city the next morning to celebrate with the fans. At least their hungover faces would make for great photos and memes on social media. Isa had just finished helping her step mother put her father to bed; the man had finally rested. He was so proud that he even made a big speech about how proud he was of his kids Pedri, and Gavi, which drew a lot of laughter from those present.

Isa thought about tidying up a bit to have less mess the next day but quickly gave up as she was too tired, so she headed to the yard in search of her son. Axel had also enjoyed the celebration, and Isa was impressed by how his energy never seemed to run out. The woman’s eyes scanned the yard, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Pedri sitting on the outdoor sofa, with Axel sleeping in his lap. He was accompanied by a few teammates in a quieter conversation. Pedri was visibly tired but held Axel with great care. Isa would never get tired of the bond between them and would be eternally grateful to Pedri for the affection he had for her son. Isa approached slowly, and as soon as Pedri noticed her, he gave a very genuine smile.

"Let's take Axel to bed," Isa said, and Pedri simply nodded. They said goodbye to the group; those who were there were regulars and knew how to manage themselves.

"He needs a bath," Pedri commented as he followed Isa to the bedroom.

"If we wake him up for that, we won’t sleep anymore," Isa said, laughing, and Pedri concluded that it wouldn’t be a good idea. He placed Axel in bed, left a kiss on the boy's forehead, and left the room. Isa repeated the gesture, and just as she was about to leave, Axel’s sleepy little voice called her back.

"Mommy, I’m so happy..." he mumbled.

"I know, baby, I am too," Isa said, running her hand through his hair.

"I’m so happy that Pedri is ours..." Isa laughed at the comment but felt her heartbreak, and remembered the conversation she had with her father when she felt insecure about her relationship with Pedri, right after Henry’s family threatened to take Axel’s custody if she didn’t return to her marriage with Henry, as he was Axel’s father and should be present in the child's life. Those were turbulent and sad weeks, and Isa almost fell into emotional manipulation, but her father always told her that she had to think about her happiness because it would consequently bring Axel’s happiness since he felt what she did, and he would only be happy if she was. And true, genuine happiness only existed when they were with Pedri.

"Yes, me too," Isa admitted and waited for a response from Axel, but there was none; he had fallen back asleep. Isa closed the door and headed to her and the player's room. The room was dark, but the bathroom light was on. Isa took off her clothes and went to the bathroom, finding Pedri in the bathtub. He smiled at her as she settled into the small space with him. It didn’t take long for him to slide into her, and they celebrated the title in another way that night.

**********************************************

Three Years Later

Isa had many insecurities about having a relationship with Pedri; she had never thought about the consequences or what it might bring to her life. She would have to deal with gratuitous hatred, malicious comments about the age difference, and unfounded rumors. But with Pedri, it was possible to forget these details that could influence her life. It had been this way since the first time she was with him, the first time she saw him at the nightclub. When she saw him, she knew who he was, knew she would be working with him, and that she should not have any relationship with him, but he was extremely inviting, and Isa felt attracted to him from then on. And as she saw how he treated Axel, he increasingly found a place in her heart. Axel was her life, and seeing Pedri’s concern and care for the boy filled her heart. Isa never imposed anything on the player; she always treated their relationship as a friendship from the start.

Isa entered the living room, and Pedri was sitting on the couch with one arm resting behind his head while the other was using his phone. Axel was lying a few meters away from him, sleeping. The two were inseparable, and this filled Isa’s heart.

"Pedriiii," Isa said softly so as not to wake her son. Pedri looked at her, a smile on his lips. He put his phone down on the couch and stretched his arms out to his woman. Isa smiled widely at the player, approaching with animated hops, and then sat on his lap, nestling her face into the crook of his neck. Pedri held her in a tight hug.

"I missed you," he mumbled. Isa pulled back to look at him and left a kiss on his lips, feeling the butterflies in her stomach take flight. Pedri held her face, kissing her forehead and hugging her once more.

"Our boy scored two goals today. He did my celebration for one of them, and for the other, he pointed to your dad, Gavi, and Fer; they almost cried," Pedri said with humor, looking at the little boy. Isa smiled, looking at her son. "Then he spent hours on a video call with my parents, telling them about the game, and when I sent them the video of his celebrations, they almost cried too." Isa pouted as she watched the photos and videos Pedri had taken, since her flight was delayed and she couldn’t see Axel’s game.

"And then he demanded that my mom come here to make his favorite food in celebration, so, well, they’re coming tomorrow." Isa smiled; Axel had his grandparents wrapped around his finger, and Isa felt her heart burst with how much he was loved by Pedri’s parents and brother. There were no fears, no tears—well, except when they had to go back home.

"Today some little girls were cheering for him..." Pedri said hesitantly. Isa looked at him quickly. "Then Fer asked, ‘Hey Axel, which one of these is your girlfriend?’ He got so red," Pedri said, laughing.

"Gavi joined in on the fun, and for the first time, I saw a fan—or rather, a Barcelona fan—give him a deadly look, and Gavi was so scared. I think he never expected to be disliked by a fan. Fer and your dad laughed so much at him, but your dad was ready to fight the little girl to defend his oldest grandson." Isa laughed heartily.

"I can’t leave you guys alone; you attract too much attention," Isa said jealously. She still wasn’t at peace with the attention Axel was getting and would receive. "And when Gavi is with you...I see the comments, your fans go crazy."

"Don’t worry, love. Me, and your two sons, are all yours." Isa grew serious, grateful for the turn the conversation had taken. "Well, Gavi more or less..." Isa rolled her eyes.

"Well, hopefully now at least a little girl will come to keep me company. It won’t even things out, but it’s a start." Pedri laughed and kissed Isa’s forehead, not seeming to catch on to what she had said. Isa remained silent, and so did Pedri, the room filled only with Axel’s sleepy breathing. Pedri pulled back, his eyes wide, finally realizing what she had said.

"Love...are you serious?" he said, emotional. Isa smiled widely at her husband.

"Congratulations, Daddy!" she whispered in Pedri’s ear. The player hugged her so tightly that Isa could feel her shirt getting wet from his tears.

"Thank you, thank you for giving them to me," Pedri said emotionally.

"Thank you, for choosing us, for embracing Axel and being the best dad in the world." Pedri sniffled, hugging her again. "Can you believe we’ll have another little voice calling ‘Pedriiii’ everywhere?" Pedri laughed, wiping his face.

"I’ll need to stock up on more M&Ms," Pedri joked, and Isa made a face.

"Love, can I tell you a secret? But you have to pretend you don’t know," Isa said seriously. Pedri looked at her, confused.

"Axel hates them," Isa said with humor.

"What?" Pedri asked, confused.

"M&Ms."

"What????" Pedri shouted, and Isa quickly covered the player’s mouth.

"Yes!!!" Isa said, laughing at his reaction.

"Isabella Gonzalez, impossible. He was so passionate about them." Pedri was too perplexed by such information.

"Because you liked them!!! And he mistook them for Skittles when he took them from my bag, and since he took them secretly, he couldn’t admit it...I think giving them to you was his way of getting rid of the evidence, but you ruined everything when you started giving them back to him." Pedri’s eyes widened, and Isa couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.

"Wow, you mean our whole relationship might not exist if Axel had picked the right candy?" Pedri squinted, and Isa shrugged. "Nah, this would have happened anyway," Pedri concluded, pointing to the two of them, and Isa smiled at his admission. "Either way, your son is a great actor," Pedri said, laughing. Isa looked at him, offended.

"Oh, now he’s my son? When you want to impress your female audience, it’s my son here, my kid there," Isa rolled her eyes, making Pedri laugh.

"Baby, you’re the one who’s most impressed when I say those things," Pedri teased, and Isa smiled, embarrassed.

"I can’t believe he kept that secret for three years..." Pedri said, amused but finding the newly received information hilarious. Axel was something. Pedri looked at the boy sleeping peacefully on the couch and placed one of his hands on Isa’s belly, feeling extremely grateful for everything he had gained.

**********************************************

N/A: CRYING, SOBBING AND THROWING UP.

"I want to thank everyone who followed this story, all the likes, comments, and support made my days much better. I bid farewell to this story, but not definitively, because when Pedriiii and Isa speak in my head, I promise to bring it to you. My Gavi's girls, I promise I haven't forgotten about you, and there's a hint about his story in this chapter. My delusional mind took over in this chapter, and it firmly believes that next year the Champions League is ours. lol Visca El Barça!"

[cosmos-coma]

Winter Mountain Soldier Spy- Part 2

A/N: Look at me not taking a month to post a new chapter! lol. I'm happy to get this one going and get writing again. I put one of my favorite songs into this chapter that I think really suits our beloved Winter Soldier (Take Back - Odie Leigh). Enjoy!

Pairing: Winter soldier!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Words: ~2994

Bucky Masterlist | AO3

Like what I do? Consider buying me a Coffee!

________

“Mmph….”

The Winter Soldier let out a quiet huff as he woke, his eyes blurry with a depth of sleep he had rarely felt before. Slowly he blinked the haze away as he sat up from the floor, the bed’s comforter folded beneath him as a makeshift mattress.

He had tried sleeping in the bed- he really did- but it was far too soft. Like sinking into a powdery snow drift, every second he tried to endure felt like another moment closer to inevitable suffocation. Even the plush blanket you had put aside was more than he was used to, but for once he allowed himself the pleasure. 

A silent wince swept across him as he sat up, his hand instantly finding one of the many bullet wounds dappling his back. His fingers came back clean- no blood- a good sign.

As he breathed a sigh of relief, the sounds of clinking and clanging finally registered in his ears. They were soft, yet still distinct as they danced through the closed door, their source- he figured- being the kitchen just below. Instinctively, his shoulders tensed in anticipation, his eyes scanning for a makeshift weapon to face the threat, until-

until a voice came.

Soft and easy, your voice sang a slow unrecognizable tune. It was only then that the prior evening came rushing back to him in a whirlwind; fleeing HYDRA, nearly getting hit by a car, and finally, being brought here- to a house in the middle of nowhere- by a persistently nice stranger who insisted on bandaging him up. 

How could he forget?

Quickly making his way to his feet and getting dressed, he silently padded down the creaky wooden stairs. Slow, practiced feet traversed each step, finding the quietest path with minimal effort as his assassin instincts refused to take a back seat.

As his feet hit the bottom of the stairs he turned toward the continuous noise, a slight frown to his expression until he saw… you. 

There you stood. The vivid orange of sunrise seemed to maneuver through the mountains and snow-covered trees just to wash over you. Your skin glowed with an alluring warmth that left his fingers twitching with the mere thought of its sensation. You hadn’t noticed him yet- your voice still soft and quiet in an attempt not to wake him. Your mind was far elsewhere, distracted by making breakfast and the melody that hung in the air around you.

He dared not speak as the song slowly faded out and a new one began, a small smile resting on your lips as you sang yet another unfamiliar tune. Though he’d never been one for music as far as he could remember, listening to you sing seemed to quell a storm he didn’t realize had occupied him. For the first time in a long time, he knew what it meant to feel at ease. Tense shoulders relaxed, letting out a soft breath as he deflated back to normal.

Yet, even amongst his newfound calm, every word in your song made his brain itch in a way he wasn't yet familiar with.

“Baby… If I can even call you that. You know I'm struggling to remember- I mean, I’m struggling to forget.

Lately, I’ve been so caught inside my head; I swear I haven’t lived in weeks- been daydreaming instead.”

Your toothy smile lit up the room effortlessly as your head nodded along to the tune. You sang as you cracked another egg into the pan and all he could do was watch and listen.

“I bet money his memory is hazed... It’s not too out of character, we paved the path that way.”

You flipped a pancake in another pan, your voice easy with practiced familiarity.

“I’m missing full night's sleep- I'm missing meals, no drinks. I miss believing words are said, words that are said to me.

And now he’s gone again, stuck on my phone again- Just waitin’ on someone-”

You grinned as you prepared two plates. 

“-I’m not waitin’ on no one…”

Your voice bubbled with a determined sort of joy as the song turned and your expression refused to fade.

And while I hope, that my pictures on your shelf when I get home. Don’t wanna see nobody else I wanna hold me accountable for things I did myself….

Don’t wanna see nobody else.

I’m gonna take back some of my time, I'm gonna take back some of my time, I'm gonna take back some of my time, I'm gonna take back…

Take back…”

As the song ended you turned, and upon seeing him, smiled with a brightness that left him feeling like he got kicked square in the chest. His breath was completely gone, his chest achingly void yet completely overfilled, and all he could do was stare. 

“You’re still here…” You said, turning down the radio a little, “I wasn’t sure if you would stay or not, but…”You grinned, “I’m glad you did. I made breakfast just in case,” You added as you handed him a large plate full of pancakes, eggs, and sausages.

Surprise could barely hide on his face as he took the plate from you. A full breakfast…? Were you sure…? As if on cue his stomach rumbled, intent on making its hunger known far and wide. 

But you just laughed and waved him on as you headed toward your regular seat at the kitchen table, your own loaded plate in tow, “Come on, let’s eat…” you said, motioning to the jams and syrup you already had out, “and there’s more than enough for seconds, so please don’t hold back.”

Slowly he slid into the seat across from you, his expression reserved as he watched you make the first few moves. That same radiant orange light still fell over you, though much more dappled now as it filtered through the layers of branches. Your actions were simple. You grabbed a jar of jam and spread it over your pancakes, then you reached for the milk, adding it to your coffee; they were all such simple actions. Such simple normal actions….

And it gave him immeasurable comfort. 

He copied your movements as he watched you go about your routine.

He tried his first set of pancakes with jam, enjoying its sharp, but sweet flavor, yet to him, the second stack reigned supreme; drizzled perfectly with syrup so that each bite was as sweet as his last. Then he tried the coffee, adding milk and sugar much like you, but recoiled immediately as an overwhelming level of sweetness flooded him. He had added far too much, but, despite your laughter, you were more than happy to get him a fresh cup and let him try again.

With HYDRA he only got what was strictly necessary. Meals were bland and lukewarm, with only the essential nutrients and nothing more. Water was about the only thing they were lenient with, but even that had its limits. 

But now hot food sat pleasantly in his belly and spices danced across his nose and tongue. He had had a feast fit for the greatest of kings and one more than worthy enough to celebrate his newfound freedom.

Yet still, the normalcy of it all buzzed in the back of his mind. The breakfast spread out across the table, the music in the background; It was a life that, weeks ago, he could only have imagined; catching nothing more than bits and pieces through the lens of his scope.

The radio mumbled on quietly, the only noise between you besides the scraping of utensils, but he liked it that way. Looking over, he noticed a small smile still lingering in your expression, perhaps a sign that you enjoyed the busy silence as well.

As the two of you finally finished you rose to your feet and gathered the dirty dishes to start washing up. 

At first, the Soldier just watched, at a loss for what you were doing, but soon stood to get a closer look, watching silently over your shoulder.

You felt the gaze of those bright blue eyes run over you and you looked back, “Did you want to help?” You asked.

At first, his brow furrowed, but then he nodded, “What can I do?” He took a step closer, the concept of personal space not seeming to exist in his mind as he slid in close beside you. 

You could feel the warmth radiating off of him where he stood, his large frame taking up space comfortably. Strong, sleeved arms brushed against yours, as he settled in, taking the drying rag you had offered. “I’ll wash and you can dry, okay?” You smiled, handing him the first dish.

He nodded and did exactly as you instructed, his expression far more serious than necessary for the simple act of drying dishes.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as you glanced over, his drawn-together brows deep in concentration as he meticulously dried each and every dish before setting it aside.

He frowned, looking over at your barely stifled laughter as he finished another pan “What?”

You shook your head, a grin still plastered on your lips, “Nothing...! Nothing, you just-“ you laughed a touch, looking over at his down turned expression, “You look so serious doing this. Like the pans owe you money or something,” you grinned.

But he didn’t smile back, instead, he looked back down at the pans, not a speck of water left on their shining surfaces, “… I just wanted to be good….” He whispered.

Your heart nearly melted into your feet. His tone was so soft and earnest,  he really only wanted to do good by you and it made your heart swell and burst and melt and flutter all at the same time. You shook your head, your expression soft and warm, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed. You really are doing a great job,” you held out one last plate in his direction, “Here, last one, okay?”

Warm lightly calloused fingers found yours as he went to grab the plate, sending warm pins and needles rushing through your forearm. With a short gasp, you flinched back- shocked, but not appalled, at the sudden sensation. Carelessly the plate slipped through your fingers, clattering to the floor with a violent crash that sent a wave of broken ceramic running in all directions.

“Ah!” you yelped in surprise, your instinct to move away from the noise, unfortunately, stronger than your know-how to stay put. Sharp pain gripped your foot as you stumbled back, like small teeth digging relentlessly into your flesh.

“Fuck!” You cursed and tried to step back into safety but the pain persisted, “Shit- damn it…!” you cursed again and looked down to the bottom of your foot. Blood began dripping down from your sole, a little piece of broken plate lodged firmly in the small cut.

The Winter Soldier’s eyes widened with concern as he saw red hit the floor. He had been given a dream-like start to the day and he’d already tainted it with blood. His hands reached out to help but hesitated for a moment. These hands have already hurt so many, he didn’t want to hurt you any further, “I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no, no” you interrupted him with a slight frown, carefully picking out the small shard, “No, I’m sorry… I’m the one who dropped it.” You sighed still holding your foot up as another drop of blood fell, “Fuck… Okay, would you mind- whoa!”

With surprising swiftness and little effort, he scooped you up as if you weren’t every bit of the woman you were. He held you close against his chest, his grip as gentle as he could allow as he took careful steps here and there, avoiding the needle-like shards, until you both arrived in the living room.

He set you down on the coffee table, just as you had done for him the day before, and moved his attention to your wounded foot.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine-“

“Please…” he interrupted with a surprisingly soft yet pressing voice, “Let me help…. Let me be good….” Large blue eyes looked up at you, pleading with you to let him do just this much. His hands hovered over your leg as he waited patiently for your response.

Blinking with surprise you nodded slowly. You couldn’t understand what being good had to do with it all, but with such quiet urgency, it clearly meant a lot to him, “Okay….” You agreed.  

It was impossible to ignore the delicate way he touched you, his fingers brushing your ankle tenderly as he looked over the cut on your foot. It left your chest aflutter as warm static radiated out from his touch. It was subtle at first, just a hint of a feeling, like a lover’s warm breath against your skin, but it only grew.

He nodded and with his characteristically intense and careful eyes he scanned over your wound, nodding again before stepping away to find the first aid kit, retracing your steps perfectly from yesterday.

You had to smile to yourself as he came back to you, first aid kit in tow along with another expression of determination that you weren’t sure fit the severity of the situation, but that seemed to suit him all the same.

With a tender touch, he cleaned and wrapped your foot, hiding the wound away under a layer of gauze to let it heal in peace.

“Thank you… really,” you said as you brought your foot up to poke and prod at the new bandage, “and maybe while we’re here, we can change out your bandages? I’m sure they’ve soaked up plenty enough by now”

He nodded, his voice gentle as a small smile crept upon his lips, “Okay….”

With a few ushering waves of your hand you two easily changed places, your bad leg kneeling on the sturdy table as you stood behind him. One after the other, you peeled each bandage off slowly and marveled at the state of their healing.

Each one had already healed up on its edges and was now trying to close. You were amazed, to say the least. Though it wasn’t at an otherworldly rate, each wound looked like it had already healed over a few days time, however even at this rate you were sure it would still take some time.

“So…  You really have no name..? Nothing besides ‘The Winter Soldier’….?” You finally asked over his shoulder as you pressed the fresh gauze against his muscled back, “I mean- I’m glad I can refer to you as something other than ‘the tall dark stranger’-” You jested with a small smile, but he didn’t seem to get it, “-but it feels wrong to just call you a soldier and nothing else…” 

“Hmm,” he hummed quietly, nodding a bit and pausing as if he was looking for an answer that would please you, “I was soldier number 001….” He said, obviously unknowing of the implications of his words. He gazed into the mirror across from him as you worked, watching your emotions twist as he spoke. 

You frowned harshly, locking eyes with him through your reflection, “You were numbered…?” You sighed as you continued, shaking your head, “I’m so sorry….” Your hand smoothed across his skin as you laid the last piece of tape down, your touch lingering subconsciously. 

Sparks still danced across his skin beneath your touch, radiating a comforting warmth that he had yet to grow accustomed to, but that he never wanted to be without. He wanted your hands on him always, whether it was wiping blood away from his brow or simply brushing a stray hair from his cheek. He wanted nothing more than to be held in the crackling fire of your palms and hold you in return. 

He wondered if you felt the same heat and fire he did, if you too felt the bubbling of energy beneath your skin when you touched- Or if... to you, he was just coldness. Only the cold of smooth metal and nothing more.

“Well, how about…” You continued with a hum, interrupting his swirling thoughts,  “Maybe I can call you ‘Winter’?”

Icy blue eyes softened a bit as you asked. You really wanted to give him a name..?

“It’s always been my favorite season,” you smiled as you packed up the remainder of the kit, “something about the cold, muffled silence of the snow and pine trees looming above…” you hummed as you reminisced on the recent days. “The way the moon and stars reflect off the snow at night? making it as bright as a cloudy day?” You grinned now, ducking your head to hide your expression behind his shoulder, “It always made me feel at home….”

Something cracked and shifted unknowingly in the Winter Soldier as you said that; it was small- barely noticeable- but something had already found its way in and it was here to stay.

The corners of his lips turned up, his heart beating with a little more sense of purpose now. “… I would like that…” 

“Yeah?” You lifted your head, smiling again over his shoulder at his reflection. “Well then, Winter.” You happily emphasized, your smile never faltering, “You should be all patched up now. Your wounds are looking better than I expected.” You handed his shirt back to him and took one last glance at him through the mirror. 

He nodded as he pulled his shirt back over his head, the faintest of smiles still lingering on his lips. 

You smiled back and closed up the kit, getting up to put it away,  “How does another quiet evening in sound?” You asked, “I have a couple of movies we can watch to pass the time and then, if you’re up to it, maybe you can help me with dinner…?”

He nodded, his faint yet pleasant expression still having yet to fade, “Please…” 

___________

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