#like– if you can't even come and be upfront with ME about things concerning ME... YOU are the problem 😋

[kelin-is-writing]

it's so frustrating when you give peoples respect and support while they give you disappointment, disrespect and even stab you in the back in return.

[b1rds3ye]

AAAA i loved that 141 + masked reader one!! omg you're filling my head with mask ideas now...

what if reader had one of those LED masks that showed different facial expressions? just walking around going ":D" ":]" "^-^" "?" ">:(" as a substitute of their real expressions. omfg imagine them coming back from a mission and price is praising them on their work or smth and they just hit him with the "uwu"

I'm glad so many people are liking the prompt, I had a lot of fun with it too!! This is very much giving me Watch Dogs 2 Wrench but also Rina Tennoji omg there are so many legendary masked characters-

The rest of the 141 were confused at first. While the mask provided anonymity, there was also the benefit of hiding facial information to an enemy. But now with these LEDs your emotions could be read like an open book, but ultimately they found it endearing.

Soap in particular loves your mask. Johnny loves surprising you to generate "!"s over the eyes and finds himself smiling every time your mask switches to a new emotion. As demolition expert, he prides himself over the one time he got you so riled up that an error message flashed across your mask. He's also genuinely curious about the mask and will gladly try to help if there are any technical difficulties or if you want a hardware upgrade. He's also the most unnerved out of the 141 if you ever turn the LEDs off, immediately by your side to comfort you as he can no longer read your mood.

Gaz doesn't often provoke you but he does find himself snickering whenever your expressions change from others. It's also an easy way for Kyle to keep track of how you're feeling, even when no one's around your mask automatically goes ";-;" when you're feeling down and he'll check up on you. Whenever he does make a joke though, he's immediately looking to your mask to see if someone will appreciate his humour. He also wishes you turned off your mask more during missions, the little angry face your mask makes isn't intimidating in the slightest and he can't risk getting distracted cooing over you during an op.

Ghost is very curious. Your own mask has him wondering if his own needs a bit of an upgrade - perhaps an LED skull mask with a moving lower jaw. Simon's heart warms up a bit at how you've picked a mask that's still so comically expressive, he enjoys interacting with someone that's so upfront with their emotions. He won't admit it but he finds it cute how your mask goes "-_-" whenever he says one of his horrendous "military humour" jokes. He's considerate of your mask and ensures that there is no water or liquids nearby.

Price's first concern was practicality (how the hell were you going to use night-vision?) but once the mask seems to work without a hitch, he now checks on your mask to not only gauge your mood but as a visual indicator of the overall atmosphere among the rest of the task force. You're now his favourite person to praise. He doesn't give it freely of course, but most of his subordinates will try to hide their smiles as they glow under his praise as they keep up their tough soldier persona. You though? The sudden "! o !" and then consequential "^_^" as you walk away with a hop in your step is probably the sweetest thing he's seen in his entire military career.

It's all fun and games until you turn off the LEDs - usually done in dark/covert missions or when you're interrogating the enemy. That's when you're truly unreadable, a masked terror. As you eliminate enemies in close combat the last thing they will see is their own face contorted into absolute terror as it is faintly reflected like a memory against the bottomless darkness of your visor.

Masked Reader Masterlist Call of Duty Masterlist

[midnightdevotion]

Anyone Else

Requested: Can I get either a Bradshaw!reader or Mitchell!reader x Robert 'Bob' Floyd fic where the reader dated Jake before she ever met Bob, so when she meets the Dagger Squad as Bob's girl, it's the first time she's seen Jake since they broke up? Reader would be engaged or married to Bob and her and Jake would have ended on really bad terms. If this isn't up your alley and/or makes you uncomfortable feel free to ignore this request. Lots of love regardless! 🥰🥰🥰

Pairing: Bob x Bradshaw!Reader, Past jake Seresin x reader

When bob first got called back to top gun you panicked. Not only was your husband called back but so was your brother and the closest thing you ever had to a father. You stressed everyday, hoping they would be safe and sound.

Two and a half weeks later when the mission was successful and bob had thankfully made it home safe and sound, he called you to let you know that the dagger squad was being made permanent and he would be coming home to help you pack up your house and move you both down to San Diego. Nothing sounded better than living near everyone you considered your family. In a whirlwind you two had packed up the house, put it on the market to sell and made an offer on a new house.

It didn't take long to sell your old home thankfully, and you two found a perfect home five minutes from the beach and close to work for bob. It all seemed like everything was falling perfectly into place.

Letting out a dreamy sigh as you look around the open floor plan for the home you just got the keys too, your husband turns to look at you.

"everything okay dear?" you can't help the grin you let shine on your face when you turn to look at your husband's concern.

"Everything is perfect." He gives you a soft smile and kiss on the forehead then continues voicing his thoughts on where you should hang the tv for least amount of glare during the day.

You listen to him rant about where he wants to put the couch and how he wants to hang your wedding photos, giving an occasional hum of agreement.

"oh and also I want you to meet my squad" this causes you to raise an eyebrow. Usually over protective bob keeps you away from the dirtbags in the airforce he's typically assigned to deal with. You didn't question that too much, because you have upfront experience with how most air force men are.

"you do?"

"Yeah- these guys- they're different and I want them to meet the most important person in my life"

"awe, of course I wanna meet them honey and I'm glad you are finally part of a team that aren't just egotistical assholes- though I know how Bradley can be" He laughs at your joke, but he knows how excited you really are at being able to live near everyone. Too often the navy drags people away from the ones they love, so you are both grateful for the chance that it brought you all together.

It's about six days later- after everything is unpacked and settled that you are meeting the rest of the dagger squad. Say what you want but bob is nothing but efficient when unpacking- and bossing maverick and Bradley around for help.

When you arrive at the beach- you are delighted to see Penny and Maverick rekindling their love. However, before you make it over to them Bradley rushes over.

"I have something I need to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I didn't think you would come and-"

"What is it?" you furrow your brow trying to look over your brothers shoulder. Bob looks just as confused as you do unsure as to what is making rooster so frazzled.

"Jake is here."

This confuses bob even further- because of course Jake is here?

"w-what" It feels like you take a shot of icy hot. both heat and freezing cold rushes through your veins.

"Does someone wanna clue me in?" You swallow and look up at your sweet husband- living proof that the sweet soft genuine love you always wanted does exist and you have it.

"Well- about 5 years ago, Jake and I were engaged..."

---Flashback---

It's late on a Friday night and you and your fiance Jake are laughing at an inside joke you two have. Your heart has never felt so full. You're both ignoring whatever movie you had turned on in the background- enjoying the night together instead.

In fact you remember spending the whole weekend like this- so wrapped up in each other- so in love that nothing else mattered. Laughter echo's the walls in your shared apartment.

That Sunday night- you giggled as he traced each of your features. Adamant that he would be able to memorize every piece of you, mind body and soul.

You just laughed at him and told him you'd be there for him to study every night. You didn't focus on his smile not reaching his eyes, nor the shaky breathe he let out.

You went to bed after a weekend that felt like a dream- a montage in a movie really.

And you woke up to a note on his empty bedside table saying I'm sorry- with his silver ring sitting on top.

-----

Bob knew the story- he knew everything about you and your past. Losing your father, losing your fiance and every other thing your brain would ever think of telling him.

He just didn't know that Jake was the ex fiance.

"I think I need a minute" Is all bob said- rubbing his hands down his face as he turns in the opposite direction for a walk.

"bob wait-" he turns and you can see the worry on his face- all his anxieties displayed right there.

"Honey- It'll be okay I just need a minute to process I promise"

and you understood- of course you did. If roles were reversed you don't know how okay you would be coming face to face with bob having an ex fiance and then it turning out to be someone that you would see everyday.

So you heave a sign and turn back to face rooster. Only he's twenty feet further away then you expected and he's blocking one very frantic Jake Seresin.

"Bradshaw just let me talk to her" You could see Bradley shake his head, but honestly you needed to clear the air. Hell you were married and happy- you've moved on.

"Bradley it's okay" your brother tenses his shoulders. You watch him tell Jake to stay put for one minute and he comes over to you.

"Are you sure? because if you're not sure or not ready to deal with all of this then say the word and we will go home and you can meet everyone another night" You laugh at his over protective big brother tone and shake your head.

"Bradley it was five years ago- I'm happily married I don't need to eat ice cream and cry about the past." you watch his serious face and he nods more than necessary

"Okay okay, but I will be right there and you just holler if you want me to kick his ass, I never got to the first time so" You just shove him away and watch as he does the I'm watching you signal to Jake.

You watch as Jake makes his way over to you, stopping with about three feet between you. The silence stretches for a minute, and he clears his throat.

"I- um Hi"

"hello" and you don't give anything more than that- the way you see it, you were ready to share every part of you for life with him and he threw it away. You don't owe him any more of you. You watch him- seeing the struggle in his green eyes you once knew so well. The ones you had nightmares about after he left. You watch as he heaves a sigh and tugs on his blond strands.

"I- I know words will never explain or show how truly sorry I am for how I treated you back then- for how I.... For how I ended things between us, I just want to say I'm so sorry. Genuinely I am so sorry and everyday I wake up and for a blissful three seconds I forget every stupid mistake I ever made and think I get to roll over and see your face but I never do..." His words shock you a little more than you thought they would. You never expected him to regret when he walked out that night. You figured he was a navy man through and through and navy men alway choose their jets over everything else.

You know that's not fair- that bob would choose you everyday of the week, but you watched it all your life. Jake knew that you watched Maverick choose his jet over ever settling down, you watched Bradley do the same, and then when Jake of all people did it to you- you never thought you would be able to mend that heartbreak.

The Irony of it was not only did you heal, you still chose a navy man who was in jets everyday.

When you first met bob you were smitten- so was he. However when you found out what he did and he watched your face turn sour- he thought he would never have a chance with you. He watched you distance yourself from him and bob was never good with confrontation so when he showed up drunk at your door asking why you suddenly didn't want him after you made him fall in love with you- you spilled everything.

Here the very reason that bob drunkely confessed to being in love with you stands before you and you can't help the heartache that surges through you. Not because your unhappy now- or that you would even change anything.

No the heartache surges through you because Jake looks lost. Like he left himself in your apartment that night and you left him there too when you moved places and moved on.

"Look Jake, did I hate you for a long time for what you did? Yes, but I've moved on, for so long I wanted this day to come- this apology to spill out of your mouth. Thinking someway the words would heal all the hurt you caused, and it doesn't. The hurt still happened, the pain is still a memory for me, but it grows more distant everyday and I'm really grateful. Jake as much as I loved you- I deserve someone that would choose me even when it's hard."

you watch as he swallows hard, nodding his head. You see the exact moment his eyes land on your left hand, the furrow in his brow and he takes in the shining diamond sitting delicately on your left hand. You see the shaky exhale he lets out.

"you found that then?" it's phrased as a question but you know it's more of a statement.

"yes, I found that" he nods and he looks everywhere but you.

"In another life... I would do things differently"

"I know" and you do, you can see his regret all over his face, you can see the heartache in his eyes- the same heartache that stared back at you in the mirror for months on end. You also know he will be okay, that he will heal and move on just like you did. You step closer, and rest your hand on his shoulder.

"things work out Jake, you'll be okay" and with that you step away, and make your way towards the rest of the group.

----

It takes bob a while to join the group again, and it has you worried. You never would've thought bob would be so hurt by this when he knew the story.

So when he joins the group in dog fight football but doesn't greet you know something isn't right. You try and let it going knowing when he is ready you two will talk but as the night progresses and he continues to ignore you, you start to get frustrated.

It's nearing the end of the day- bob just help score the last goal and his team won, the boys lift him up and start chanting his name which makes you grin.

They finally all make their way back over to you and Penny- who has been a great soundboard for how stressful today has been for you.

"That was great honey" you send bob a sweet smile- hoping that playing whatever insane version of football that was helped get his frustrations out.

"thanks." and he turns to talk to Phoenix. Penny shoots you a glance and you just sigh.

When everyone moves inside the bar to keep the party going, you make your rounds in getting to know everyone now that they aren't running around like maniacs.

However, during this bob strategically always seems to be on the opposite end of the bar from you. When it reaches a point that you are socially drained and talked to everyone you move to the bar, and sit by yourself nursing whatever drink penny concocted for you.

You're starting to get tired but whenever you try to get bobs attention he turns his body another direction. It reached a point where you are so frustrated that you call an uber.

"penny I'm gonna head- If bob asks I got an uber home" her eyebrows shoot up in surprise but she agrees to pass on the information, and watches you leave.

---

Now bob might've been mad- not really at you and he knows that. God he knows that, but he's so mad because he didn't realize jake was the Jake and he's mad at himself because he feels so insecure. How could you want someone like bob over someone like Jake.

He's really mad because he's scared. He is so in love with you, but what if you want jake back? What if you want to leave him now because your real love, your first love was never really bob?

What does he do when every time he looks at you, he sees you saying your leaving him, that you're sorry but it was never him and it never will be?

So when he turns around because he has been checking on you every five minutes- he has a timer on his watch so he doesn't do it too often and your gone he panics.

His eyes frantically search the bar- and he hates that when his eyes land on jake standing with coyote he's relieved that you aren't right there.

He searches the bar high and low, and still nothing. He waits, because maybe you just went to the bathroom but when ten minutes have passed and he realizes that is unlikely he anxiously makes his way to penny.

"penny where is she" and penny doesn't even have to look up to know it's bob asking about you.

"she went home"

"home- but- I drove"

"she took and uber" he swallows hard at that. Thinking of every time he saw an article about a woman getting attacked in an uber- You were alone out there with some stranger all because bob couldn't get his shit together.

So he hightails it out of there, and he drives home maybe a little quicker than he should. He gets home and all he sees is the light you left on in the entry way when you left, and he panics even more- where are you?

He rushes to your room, feeling like he is going to vomit up his own heart any second now. He sees the bathroom light on to your shared bathroom and the rush of relief cools his veins like he just got a cold glass of water in the Sahara.

He flings the bathroom door open and sees you jump as you wash your face.

"god bob you scared me" you mutter, trying to rid the soapy bubbles from your face.

"I am so so sorry honey" this causes you to look at him through the mirror.

"for scaring me or ignoring me today." your statement isn't angry, just blunt.

"both... god I'm sorry I was an ass today"

"yeah you were, care to explain?" you watch and he swallows.

"I'm so sorry darling, I was just so gutted with fear when I realized that Jake was your Jake and I realized maybe--- maybe you would want to leave me and take him back and god why wouldn't you he looks way better than me and then i go and treat you like shit on top of it, makes it an easy choice doesn't it and-"

"bob" you cut him off from his rant.

"I do not want to get back with Jake. I married you because I love you, with my whole soul, you make me laugh and you make so so very happy, even my best days with Jake don't compare to how happy I am with you every day." you watch his shoulder sag in relief. You make your way towards him, and pull him in close for a hug.

"I never want to hear you say that you aren't attractive, honey you are the most attractive man I have ever met, physically, emotionally, and in every other way imaginable." you hope he can see all the love you have for him shining in your eyes.

He hugs you back and squeezes like he really thought you might disappear on him and that breaks your heart more than anything else ever could.

"when I said I do honey, it's because I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, nobody else. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world and that will never change."

"I love you so much darling, I am so sorry I was stupid.... Please never uber anywhere again though they are so dangerous and I would've given you a ride" and you laugh at his antics because even clouded in his own insecurity and heartache he was worried about your safety.

Maybe that's why it was always meant to be bob, not anyone else. Bob may have bad days just like everyone else but above all else he cares so much it just scares him. You needed someone like bob to care for you after losing so much and he needed someone like you to choose him and soothe his worries away when they get to be too loud.

"it could never be anyone else"

you repeat the words a million times that night, and when you think about it, even the best weekend you ever had with Jake doesn't compare to everyday you have with Bob. It really could never have been anyone else.

Taglist:

@alanadetigy 

@luckyladycreator2 

@multiplefandomsmess 

@tkmarvel-divergentbish

@ohh-to-be-a-frog

@roosterschanelslut

@americaarse

@malindacath

@atarmychick007 

@trikigirl271

@lustfulseonghwa

@smoothdogsgirl

@elenavampire21

@jstarr86

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

I am BEGGING for some good ol' gustav fluff. I will take absolutely anything, my bbg needs sum love. Thank you mwah<3

(hello! Thank you for your requests and I love Gustav a bunch so here ya go! Enjoy!)

Gustav Schäfer Fluff HC'S

I feel like he could be the best boyfriend you could ever have

Probably is the guy to be big and good with communication

Like if you're upset and the type to just say "I'm fine."

He's just like "No, you're not. What's the matter?"

He just wants to hear what's going on and if you have daddy and mommy issues like me, it's absolutely shocking

He gives the best hugs I feel

Like a full on enveloping hug and a small kiss on the head

It's the hugs that sorta feel so comforting like a pillow and also one you wanna fall asleep in

He is the one to legit do anything as long as it involved being with you

You wanna go get shit faced?

He's fucking in!

You wanna prank the band?

He's down!

Sometimes being in a band gets overwhelming and being famous at such a young age

So he finds comfort in being able to go to you!

Staying up all night with this man in a hotel room is a must

When you guys were younger you would prank call so many people

Making pillow forts no matter how old you guys got

It's practically a tradition

I feel like he was very upfront when you guys confessed feelings

He didn't want to hide them and maybe miss out on his chance of being with you

Luckily, he got it!

Boy is not letting go now

You guys on the tour bus are always found sleeping somehow

You guys just nap in the weirdest positions but always look so comfortable

Like he's sleeping on his back, your back to his chest as you both have a blanket over y'all and are just passed out

Bill is like y'all's adopted child

Y'know those Tiktoks of a friend tagging along with their two friends who are dating and the audio is like "Mama e papa, Mama e papa."

That's Bill with you guys all the time!

He is very responsible I feel but also can be immature

You two are messing around with each other in interviews a lot

He's more quiet and if you're outgoing it's a cute little trope

He honestly feels though it was a perfect match if you're more quiet and reserved like him

He likes the calm sometimes but he also loves the chaos

He and you try out new restaurants a lot as dates and somehow it always is fun

You guys have gotten into it sm that you guys have had ppl staring at you guys as you die laughing

You guys laugh so hard sometimes the laughs turn silent and ppl are genuinely concerned

To stop you from talking in like interviews if you're saying something and you guys are bickering, he puts his hat on your head and covers your face with it going "shush"

He's got strong emotions so if you can handle that, great!

He would never want you to feel uncomfortable

If you're one to not really be in touch with emotions like I am, if you just find it hard due to how you grew up or shit like that, since he has such strong ones I feel like he would help you with that

Showing you it's okay to have your own emotions

He can be such a sweetheart

Literally never forgetting even the little details about you

Can remember everything to what you first said to him when you guys met all the way to present day

He stays in the back but you can always be seen trying not to burst out laughing

Why?

Because he whispering shit in your ear about anything and everything

He says the most random shit and he is somehow so passionate about that random shit you can't help but die

He says the most random and rancid things that sometimes you just have to stare for a minute

He is such a goofball

Can make you laugh at any given time of any day

Will poke you and make jokes if you're upset until you laugh

He can be so insulting without meaning to be

Especially when he just doesn't think before he says stuff

He has shocked himself sometimes with what he says

He loves the little thing, the big things, you entirely, and practically everything that comes with you!

[project-changeling-zero]

another issue i have with sonic prime - shadow the hedgehog. ( very long )

.

just gonna say this upfront - do not interact if you are a prime shadow fan and just want to insult or start an argument // debate with me in the comments.

.

ever since his debut in the show, shadow in sonic prime has been frequently called 'the best he's been written in years', well loved by a large majority of the prime fandom.

because of this popularity, i was under the belief that shadow was going to be more like how he's written in sa2, satbk, or sonic 06. i've since learned that many shadow fans ( that i've seen ) just like shadow on screen

which isn't necessarily a problem, but i think it's safe to say the sonic fandom has always been a mixed bag when it comes to critiques of the games and their contents ( ever since sa1, or even before that, to sonic frontiers, but i can't comment on the comics, as i've never read them ).

so, in hindsight, i should've proceeded with caution and not take popular opinion into high account.

anyway, i'll get to the point. shadow in sonic prime is one of the worst characterizations of shadow i've seen. i think the only one worse is shadow from the sonic boom universe.

shadow is quite frustrating in this show for a few reasons:

he loses the chaos emerald within five minutes of obtaining it, like an absolute idiot.

he antagonizes sonic every chance he gets and seems to believe the only way to resolve an issue is through violence or aggression. like, yes, of course, shadow, i totally wanna listen to you after you punched me in the face so hard that i literally suffered amnesia.

does next to nothing in the entire show ( up until, like, s3? ), but acts like he's needed.

insults sonic's friends for no reason ( originals and alters alike ).

somehow thought the tech was the only reason sonic could pass through the gateways when he literally saw sonic pass into new yolk before he got the tech. it'd be one thing if he knew sonic could pass regardless and figured the tech would help himself pass through, but he just ignored or forgot what he saw, i guess??? and this is never brought up again.

real question, what does sonic need him for again? even if shadow was never there, sonic would eventually come up with the plan on his own. it's not rocket science.

keeps insisting the alters aren't real people ( this is a problem of the show in general, esp where they go back and forth with sonic in particular, but it's extremely aggravating with shadow as, even if he was right, he's basically saying that sonic shouldn't care about the people that look like his friends, even if they're copies ).

last but not least, HE KEEPS BRINGING UP THAT HE'S THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM, WHO FUCKING CARES, GET A LIFE-

( should i also mention how misleading it was for it to seem like shadow was concerned and trying to warn sonic about the shatteverse, only to immediately go on the assault when the two meet up? what the fuck? )

after i got my hopes up by the reviews and all the love for this show, this was just sad and annoying to watch. how many times is it gonna take for sega and any writers associated with them to get it?

shadow is not an overtly aggressive, hot-headed, domineering person. that was never what shadow was or was supposed to be.

shadow is a kind, loving person. yes, you might not see it from pretty much every canon media of him aside from a few select games, but that's who he was meant to be.

of course, in sa2, he did nearly destroy the world. the difference between that shadow and prime shadow is that, in sa2, he did it out of the love he had for maria and because his memories were affected, making him misremember what maria really wanted.

in his debut game, shadow is meant to be something akin to a guardian angel. the 'ultimate lifeform' meant wish fulfillment, immortality, healing. and to have shadow believe that sonic is the true ultimate lifeform instead speaks volumes of who he is and how he's changed in a considerably short amount of time.

in prime, shadow isn't any of these things. sure, he protects sonic every now and then, but for a while, i didn't even know if it was because he actually cared about sonic or if it was because it was necessary to get back home. the 'ultimate lifeform' doesn't mean anything to him or to this show. it's just to wave his big dick energy around. it shows he doesn't actually see anyone, let alone sonic, as his equal.

yes, shadow is standoffish, but it's not like he's ever been out of touch with emotions or relationships. i don't believe that it was because of maria's death that shadow had essentially 'shut down', but rather because he wanted to grant her wish as soon as possible. and even then, he saved rouge's life. while the game could've led us to believe it was because she had the chaos emeralds, they showed us that he just couldn't let her die if he could prevent it by showing that he couldn't save maria way back then.

this is what a lot of the games, and frankly, most of sonic media in general, seem to have entirely forgotten about shadow.

even as a child, it wasn't difficult for me to understand that shadow did care. that he does care. in fact, that's pretty much what drives him throughout his entire debut game, that he cares so much for maria, so much for her wish, and, eventually, so much for humanity.

i think the closest we've ever been to getting a characterization just like shadow in sa2 is in sonic 06. say what you will about the game, i personally like it ( i acknowledge it has a lot of flaws, but let me be ).

in sonic 06, shadow doesn't have any hostility with sonic. in fact, sonic gives a silent thanks to him for saving him from silver. and shadow proves that you don't have to tell your friends you love them in order for them to know, 'cause he loves rouge and omega in this game. he deeply cares about them and is noticeably disheartened when he discovers what becomes of omega in the future.

shadow doesn't become persuaded by mephiles' tactics to turn against humanity, even when he gives plausible ( but not 100% ) evidence that it is likely authorities would blame shadow for the downfall of humanity, due to his power. in fact, the only thing about any of that information that brings shadow pause is the fact omega would have been the one to arrest him in said future.

and to mephiles' face, he accepts the possibility humanity will turn on him head-on and tells him that he will choose his own fate, that he will fight like he always has, that he decides how his story ends.

i find it hilariously sad that the few games that gets shadow is a game largely hated by a majority of the sonic fandom ( this included me at some point, i'll admit ). i think i'm seeing a turnaround though, especially with P-06 in the works, so that's some good news.

but back to my main point, there's a reason why sa2 and s06 shadow work much better than prime shadow. because shadow honestly, truly, completely cares.

he saves rouge from prison island.

he works alongside sonic without a second thought.

he saves humanity from his own wrong-doings.

he acknowledges sonic's power.

he saves rouge from eggman.

he is upset about omega's possible future circumstances.

he protects sonic from silver.

he is aware of how much rouge cares for him.

he helps in bringing sonic back to life.

and he does all of these with little to no complaint, no sarcastic remarks, almost no attempt to hide his true feelings under a mask, none of that. shadow is completely true to himself. shadow doesn't only care about others, he cares enough about himself to know who and what he truly is and everything he's capable of.

like, goddamnit, shadow isn't my #1 favorite sonic character, but he's SO close in these specific games.

this is why prime shadow feels so hollow and dry in comparison. he's just devoid of almost everything that made shadow... well, shadow. and it's been like this for years!

i'm not sure why people are saying this is the 'best he's been written in years' when, for a long while, he was no different from a majority of his characterizations.

but, hey, he's better in s3, right?

well, yes, but we don't know why he's like that.

in s2, he had balls of steel for treating and talking to sonic the way he did, but now he's...

kinder? protective? actually listening? ( sort of, dude's still kinda stubborn )

what the hell happened???

did his sympathy finally kick in? did he get hit by a coconut and had amnesia for a while? was he one of infinite's copies ( honestly, i would've bought that )?

seriously, what happened?

yeah, obviously, s3 shadow still has flaws, but i think if they were established in s1 or s2 and slowly developed over the course of the show, he would've actually been a really good character.

not that the shadow i know would call the alters 'not real' anyway, but, y'know, for the prime universe and all that.

anyway, overall, i think shadow in sonic prime is one of the worst versions of shadow to date. in their efforts to make him cool ( i guess? ), they made him devoid of a lot of emotion and connection with the rest of the cast, but especially sonic.

completely pushing shipping aside, shadow and sonic do not have a healthy relationship in this show. i'm not going to ignore that sonic definitely has flaws in his writing, but the relationship is unhealthy from sonic's passiveness and shadow's aggressiveness.

due to this, i only like specific moments of prime sonadow, and all of them are in s3. which is saying something.

if it were me, i would've written shadow more true to the original, with my own minor creative liberties here and there, in terms of his personality.

with sonic, i would've made it so he's definitely more on the line of friendly allies with him, but not quite friends yet. throughout the show, their bond would've become stronger and stronger, with a lot of queer undertones ( c'mon, i'm gay and i like these little freaks, leave me be ) and mayhaps a romantically undertone ending, if i didn't wanna be bold about it? maybe? i'm as transparent as glass.

i absolutely would've included omega into the cast and make his relationships with omega and rouge very important to shadow and his character, 'cause HOW DARE YOU TAKE THAT AWAY?!

generally speaking, there's just a lot i would've changed about shadow if i was in charge of writing sonic prime, but alas...

i can only write fanfiction.

and yes, i'm absolutely serious.

thank you for reading this long, ridiculous rant with me about a popular character that is guaranteed to get me some flack in one way or another.

lemme know if you'd have done anything different with shadow's character in the prime universe, or if you have any questions!

[hopeful-puffin]

Thoughts on Episode #161

Just needing to vent some concerns/frustrations/love. I'm relatively new to this fandom, so please forgive any foggy discrepancies.

FLYFIN

I'm just going to come out with what everyone is stuck on. I don't trust Fean anymore than I do Fizz now. Finley (sp?) I'm still on the fence about. But the fact they're trying to cover up for their brother is suspicious. Can't tell if the youngest is in on it or being bullied into it by his older siblings though. Time will tell.

The paper thin excuse that "we just act funny when we spend too much time around the whales" is, at best, bullshit and, at worst, true. I say that's worse because you seriously want me to believe that you willingly subject to this? For what? The whales aren't going to magically awaken just cause you're nearby.

I'm worried they're gonna run into the narwhals and reveal Kappa's location to them. Not gonna help them wake the whale? That's cool. They'll go looking for "another" Beacon.

2. KAPPA

On that note, bless Kappa for finally learning not to be so free with his tongue around the flyfin. It's been bugging me since the Surface Story™ how open he's been with information. Information that could be crucial to them in damning ways if the group isn't careful. But the fact that Kappa blew their questions off made me snicker, not gonna lie.

Also, son, I'm really uneasy with the way you were staring at that whale. Thank you for shaking yourself out of it, but please stop staring off into space at them. I'm worried enough about you and Siren as things are without you continuing to treat your life so unabashedly unimportant. In broad daylight (or whatever their equivalent is down there) no less!

Unrelated, but nothing new on his weird dream of transparent blue tentacles sticking out a tree? Oh well.

3. WITCHES

Bless all the interactions with all of the witches. Bless Mucku for unofficially adopting Siren. Bless Nethimir or commenting that Siren doesn't look like royalty. Bless Mono and Mucku for continuing the evil poses. And bless Neithimir again for being upfront that they're watching over Siren because they want to, not because Kappa asked them to.

4. SIREN

Where do I even start with him? He's come a long way, especially after having just finished rereading Season 1 this morning. I felt immensely relieved seeing him inserting himself into Kappa's conversation with the flyfin. He's attentive, protective, and seems to growing comfortable with the found family. No complaints. Okay, maybe just one. But it's more a tease than anything.

Uh-huh. You thought he was kidding? Mr. My-Tail-Is-Wagging? Suuuuuuure.

[septembermonologues]

I understand that some may be concerned about orym letting laudna slip into darkness with delilah and telling keyleth about lillianas connection to imogen (which even then, I understood why he did it) but takes like that annoy me because it discredits how good of a conversation that was!!!! keyleth validating oryms anger is good actually imo!!!!! he's lived through weeks of people telling him that these people, who have taken lives for their selfish agendas, may have a point because of their use of the gods as a scapegoat!!!!! it's so powerful to me that his leader, someone he looks up to so much, is on the same page with him, not making him feel like he has to hide his feelings or battle with the anger inside of him!!!!!! it's natural!!!!!!!!! she's putting trust in him, believing he can lead and fight!!!!!!!!!!! he is not acting against his people, he is standing with them as they are with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am both scared and EXTREMELY EXCITED about where orym is going to go as a character I can't wait for the YouTube vod to come out on Monday and cry over that convo again

i was just hoping that meeting his family and talking to keyleth about it in full might like... be a moment of reflection or contemplation or realization for that crowd but it seems to have made them worse.

i don't want to say it's not possible that he hasn't or won't make some questionable choices but i've been struggling with people who seem to blame him entirely for delilah possibly having more control on laudna, especially after the talk laudna and imogen had last ep! like i feel like they totally ignored it because it would minimize the role they forced orym into taking.

and i'm glad he said something about liliana now because that's a big fucking thing to just be upfront about given their involvement and the current stakes. i don't think it was to throw her under the bus, i think it was a 'there's no point in lying about or hiding this because you can take one look at the two of them and connect the dots'.

they have both lost people they love. they both have to right to be angry and want justice. idk why they can say that for keyleth but not for orym.

[digisurvive]

Saki ramblings

I think it's funny that Aoi and Saki might outwardly look like opposites— the serious, reserved, anxious girl and the carefeee, outgoing optimist— bc what they both choose to say is very measured and there's a high degree of reservation for both. With Saki, it makes her appear downright flighty and oblique, whereas Aoi comes off as more lenient & docile & overall a lot more repressed lol I think it could be fun to write them both running into each others' emotional walls

The other thing that is fun is that Aoi generally likes talking about what bothers her. If you prod her, she tends to overshare. She is super consistent lol She likes being asked her opinions on things, having the chance to voice her misgivings w/o disturbing the morale of the group and to be reassured about things; plus she deeply dislikes having her concerns dismissed through "don't worry so much" lol

On the other hand, Saki gets annoyed/upset if you press her. Saki really isn't upfront about what she wants. She takes the edge off situations through jokes like Minoru (this makes the way she's rude to him extra funny lol Hating the mirror that reflects you, huh), but hers are more charged because even if she says it lightly, she's still taking notice to the ways the other respond. Sometimes she just wants to play around and be comforted without going into the gritty details and others she wants to actually talk about things sincerely but she won't openly say which time is which.

Her bluntness is interesting for me because she (& Floramon) tend to get annoyed when Takuma is tepid/too conciliatory, but Saki herself is fairly adverse to conflict. Not just disliking the fact they have to fight the mons, she gets outright weary of the group fights. That passage in pt4 where Aoi gets mad at Kaito and yells at him to let her handle the child digimon trio? Saki was 'oh boy, now even Aoi is getting mad.' So, it's funny that she gets annoyed at Takuma for being tepid when she herself doesn't wanna get involved in the arguments— even when she has a clear stance (Like when she told Minoru that voting on a human life was unethical. But still preferred to just watch Kaito and Shuuji fight, though she arguably agrees w/ Kaito). Both because she fears rejection so she would rather not disrupt the group and bc that conflict aversion.

At the beginning of the story, her bluntness reads more like impulsiveness for this reason. I'd have liked to see it evolve to a more conscious frankness tbh! (the response the affinity dialogues provide about her stance on conflict is really good though).

I love also love how utterly incompatible she's w/ Shuuji LOL I love So Much that affinity dialogue in pt3 where Shuuji is crying about the Professor & Saki can't stand him 😂 Despite sharing the risk/conflict aversion, they express it in such clashing ways. I love how utterly unfair she's to him in that scene. Part of Shuuji's conflict is that he isn't allowed to express that sensitive, crybaby side of his & it spills without control. He feels even less allowed as the oldest there, and it's such a moment that reinforces that. Not that you can blame Saki for not wanting/being able to engage, it's just that delicious incompatibility.

I also wish we had gotten more out of her and Ryo as foils because they're really similar in core ways: their desire to be accepted, extreme sensitivity to how they're perceived, their keenness; yet they'd seem to express in nearly opposite ways. I feel that they could've worked as a meta pair in a similar way Aoi n Shuuji do.

[fnaffersblog]

On your latest reaction you said New Moon and Sun are repeating old habits and it's so true. I don't think New Moon means to be keeping things from Sun. I don't know if it's just me but I've always gotten the feeling that New Moon really doesn't like the old Moon like at all. He's seen through the videos and gotten vague clues from the computer's AIs that Moon didn't always treat Sun the best. I know Moon truly did care for Sun, but the way New Moon is receiving this information it really is not putting Moon in a good light. New Moon has stated multiple times that old Moon was awful (can't remember the exact wording but the meaning was similar enough), so of course he's trying to do the exact opposite of what the old Moon would have done and for the most part it's working. He's being more open about his care for Sun, he's talking more about emotions, and he's even accepting help willingly which is great! The only problem is that he's sort of relying on Sun to be just as open and upfront about things and Sun is just not doing that. I mean I get it, Sun's feelings have gotten brushed off a lot in the past so of course he's not going to try if the same thing is going to happen again but by doing that he's leaving New Moon to assume that things must be going somewhat ok. I mean he must see that things aren't great with Sun but surely Sun will come to him if really needed help. So New Moon starts keeping things from Sun to hopefully alleviate his stress unknowingly causing Sun more stress and it just sucks all around.

Oop sorry for going off on a rant I just really liked your analysis. Anyway for the pokemon thing Lunar is legally required to have a stantler named Spigot :)

Oh yeah, no, New Moon dislikes Old Moon for sure for sure.

I think Sun has made, at least, two different references to the trapping episode and Moon both times has gotten REALLY uncomfortable. New Moon is constantly in awe of the absolute horrible level Old Moon would take situations too. I think it was the episode about testing new dimensions where Sun was listed as a test subject and New Moon just asked, in the most baffled way, "Why would I... DO that??" But he's disavowed and commented on the horribleness of Old Moon's actions a lot. 110% agree.

He also gets exasperated with AI1 ALL THE TIME. And the AIs were synthesized from Old Moon's personality to help him with decision making soooooooo. Look at that how you will.

(I imagine it's very difficult looking back on something horrible someone with your face did. Comes with a lot of conflicting emotions. Was this my fault if I don't remember? Did I really do those things or was it someone else? Does the victim of these actions blame me? Should they if that's not me? It's a weird situation to be in all around.

I question at times if New Moon is ever worried now about his old memories coming back too. At this point it seems concrete that Old Moon is GONE gone, but I wonder if he ever gets concerned about it.)

Fundamentally, however, this is the SAME Moon. The reset set Moon's memories back to square one, but all of his specific personality traits are the same. None of the trauma, so he's less jaded. Less of, and excuse my language here, a jackass.

With that came his difficulty with social interactions. I don't remember when this happened, but I distinctly remember an episode with Old Moon where he mentioned he wasn't sure he'd ever get ahold of this social thing. I don't know what he said exactly but it was very close to being that, word for word. I also couldn't find the episode, so it may have been said on another channel. Rip MEEEEEEE.

Anyways, I don't know if he DOES see anything is wrong with Sun, he doesn't seem to be great at picking up on varying emotional ques from others. I know about people saying 'well, people can't read your mind, you have to speak up' kinda thing but, like, at the end of the 'Ruin Sun trapped Moon' episode I could hear Sun's emotions all over the place and at the beginning of 'Moon says Goobye in VrChat' it was the same. It was very noticeable, at least to me.

And Moon just...

didn't seem to notice at all?

So many people have pointed out the positive change in Moon's demeanor, I DOUBT he was just straight up ignoring/ being annoyed by Sun. I think he is a bit stressed out rn, but he wasn't trying to take it out on Sun. (Also wasn't saying you said that! I was reading it and it read to me like I was blaming so I just wanted to clarify, just in case.)

I think maybe Moon literally just... can't tell? At the very least, he's not good at picking up on them and based on his 'solution' of sending Sun on a break, he may just think Sun needs some time off.

I don't know. It's weird to me, but it's kind of the only thing I can think of that makes sense? It does mean Sun HAS to speak up though. If Moon can't read his emotional tells then the only way Moon is ever going to know what the actual issue is is if Sun tells him. Like you said, by not saying anything Sun is leaving Moon to assume things are alright. And I don't think that's going to happen, frankly, Sun speaking up, not without outside influence.

One of Moon's biggest reoccurring problems before the reset was the fact that, while he cared for the people he was trying to help, and BY GOD did he care so deeply for them, he made decisions for them. His penchant for not telling people his plans, which was born from this need to protect the people he loved, because he didn't want them to worry/ didn't think they'd understand/ he believes what he's doing is best for them without actually bringing them in to discuss it/ whatever, has probably pushed Sun into thinking he can't trust Moon.

As you said it "Sun's feelings have gotten brushed off a lot in the past so of course he's not going to try if the same thing is going to happen again", which is a sentiment I've seen from several folks here on Tumblr. Moon has 'stolen' his autonomy in decision making that should have involved both of them, as well as stuff Sun alone should have had final call in a LOT. And now he's fallen back into doing it again.

This may be a "New" Moon but it's also still just... Moon. All his pre coded personality traits and systems for dealing with things came with him. And even if Sun KNOWS it's not his old Moon, with so many similar traits in a person wearing the same exoskeleton, it's going to be near impossible to separate the two.

(which seems weird because a lot of the methods we use individually to navigate problems comes from our childhoods ((Don't quote me on that I am NOT a therapist or doctor or psychologist of any sort, but I do have my own personal experiences and what I've read)), aka all of Moon's trauma while he and Sun were stuck together + literally everything else should have been what influenced his pre-reset decision making and post-reset Moons decision making should jsut be affected by the last two months buuuuuut this is a silly goofy show on the internet about robots and brain resets aren't reeeal so I'm not losing my mind about that. I see what they're going for here and I like it, I'm just being nitpicky.)

I said in a long post, ages back that Sun and Moon have never really known each other the way they think they do. They had never really talked post body split and had ideas of who the other person was. In these past two months I do think they've taken huge steps to mediate that. They are for sure much closer I think than they have been. Every other episode, I feel like one or both of them is pointing something out about the other. Moon's ADHD and stimming, Sun's enjoyment of MLP, little things that I can't remember at the moment but that I know are happening?

But they still don't really know each other, and the only difference now is they LITERALLY don't know each other because they are completely new people to each other for different reasons instead of preconceived ideas of who the other should be. Which is especially true for Moon, Sun is a stranger he met two months ago.

(What if you deconstruct the truths you know about someone and find you don't love them anymore? That's scary.)

I think one of the things Moon is noticing, however, is that Sun WON'T come to him to ask for help. If I'm not mistaken, Earth and Moon have been the ones to instigate Sun taking care of himself these past two months. If not every time, at least most of the times they're the ones to pop up and tell Sun his worth, hype him up. Or make him take breaks when he needs them.

Sun is getting better at doing it alone, of course, it was very noticeable during the recent hallucination episode and along side him Moon is learning as well. "He's being more open about his care for Sun, he's talking more about emotions, and he's even accepting help willingly which is great!" I agree with this 110%, they are both taking great steps forward in becoming more emotionally stable and healthy!

They still have a long way to go. Which is why I'm so happy for Earth and Monty and now Foxy's inclusion. They have their own problems for sure, but they're outside mediators between the two brothers. Because let's be frank here, there is no way that the two of them were ever going to hash out the problems between them on their own. There's just too much to sift through, you know, for just the two of them, many problems which stem from the other! And they're falling back into learned patterns, like Sun pretending everything is okay, or giving up while trying to reason with Moon or Moon insisting he's right when he doesn't have all the information because he wants to help, or keeping information to attempt to alleviate stress without understanding it's actually just causing stress, which he can't know because the person he's stressing out won't admit he's stressed out because that person is afraid of the other persons response which is generally to make decisions for him! They are stuck in, careening back into cycles they need help getting pulled out from and they can't do it alone. You can't hoist someone out of the water from the top of the cliff when you're floating right along side 'em you know?

It does. It sucks all around. I can see a resolution in sight, but it'll take work and outside influences and time. And they have to want it.

Also, you don't have to apologize at all! I was excited to read through what you said! As long as you don't mind a multi paragraph response of my own long winded, disconjointed, meandering ramblings, where I sometimes contradict myself in the post and run out of steam before I've gotten all my thoughts out lol, I LOOOVEE seeing other folks interpretations about stuff. Odds are you'll get a couple hundred words to read through likeeee THISSSSS ONNNNEEEEE lolol. Feel free to go crazy.

Ayyyyeeee GEN 2 less gooooo! Stantler is amazing, truly one of the better overlooked mons from Johto's dex. I LOVE Wyrdeer too. I do have to ask, is there a story behind the name Spigot?

[claire-starsword]

Bloodline of the Sacred Dragons - Chapter 3-3

The rear of the Pao Train had a small deck, for embarking and disembarking and connecting to the other cars.

Deep in the night while everyone slept soundly, Camallia stood there alone.

As her hair blew away freely with the wind coming from both sides of the train, she enjoyed the scenery of the mountains surrounding the Pao Plains. They were like a pitch-black painting, moving as quietly as the stars in the sky. No matter how unchanging they looked, they were slowly but surely being passed by.

She hadn't started this journey for sightseeing.

Camallia berated herself.

Karin and Karna, and Bleu. She had no intention to meet people like them at the start. That wasn't the reason she had come to this land, was it? Those thoughts had her shaken. Because she also had the feeling deep in her heart that she had met just who she had to meet there. One day, liking it or not, she would find out which one of those thoughts was right. Though she didn't yet know when that day would come…

It's easy to drown in your own thoughts. And also, to tear them apart.

With a small noise, the door opened. Someone came by.

"…There you are."

Karin closed the door behind her.

"Do you need anything from me…?"

Camallia asked her amicably, showing a calm smile under the moonlight.

Karin didn't answer right away.

"It is very late already," Camallia warned her, ignoring how the same could be said for herself.

"I do want something…" Karin finally said after a good time, "I have a request. Don't take Bleu with you."

Her words came out like a dam had burst.

"Why is that?" Camallia asked back politely, watching Karin's face as she spoke so directly.

"He wants to go to Parmecia with you, but as long as you have the Manual you don't need him. We can just give it to you."

"Is that so?" Camallia played dumb. "Would it really be wise to give away his precious Manual to someone else? And then, what would I do about the Dragon Blood Crystal seal? Also, his people are waiting for him in Parmecia. Those are reasons enough for him to come, no? The only reason for him to stay back is some meager, selfish fear surrounding the Manual, and that's it. More importantly, Bleu himself decided to go, so no one should be able to stop him."

"No!"

"Why." She answered sharply to Karin's shout.

"Don't take Bleu away!!"

"What a weird thing to say. When have I taken Bleu away, and from who? Sure, he — Sacred Dragons are interesting. Yes, they are perfect, beautiful, and noble creatures. A simple human can't compare to them. So I want to be with him just a little longer. I want to watch up close how he feels, how he thinks. Those are my upfront intentions right now."

"I want to be by his side, too. I want him with me forever."

"Like a pet? Sacred Dragons aren't the kind of creature for that."

"No! Of course that's not what I mean!"

"No, I'm right. Sacred Dragons don't exist for your entertainment."

Karin couldn't find the words against Camallia's scathing criticism.

"He's not yours."

"And not yours either. What are you to Bleu, anyway? A mother? Sister? Or maybe, a lover…?"

Camallia knew she was tormenting her, but even so, she couldn't stop herself from asking.

"…A friend. Yes, a precious friend."

Maybe Karin didn't know yet what name to put to her feelings. Maybe humans were coward and weak creatures.

"Yes. Of course. There shouldn't be any romantic feelings between different species after all. I shouldn't fuss over what you two look like together. As a human, it doesn't concern me."

To Camallia, that was a terrible thing to say. Was there any bond more powerful and mysterious than love in this world? Someone had been asking that kind of question to the stars and wind countless times until just now.

It suddenly occurred to Camallia that she might have had some Sacred Dragon blood mixed in herself. The memories of healing Bleu's wounds came back vividly in her mind.

"Protecting someone and setting someone free are not the same thing. All you're doing is tempting him to run away."

"Wrong. Bleu is bewitched by that Manual. And you drove him to that."

"Oh my, really? I shouldn't have that kind of power. But, if he's really obsessed with the Manual, then I want to see with my own eyes what he'll do when everything is over…"

Camallia began to walk away, stopping by Karin's side as she had her head down.

"They grow up fast, don't they?" She whispered in Karin's ear, and passed her by.

Pushing the door open, Camallia entered back in the train. Closing the door, the darkness of the night and Karin within it both disappeared from her sight.

>To next part

Translation notes:

I hope the feeling came across through the translation so far, but to spell it out: Camallia usual has the most formal speech out of all characters. The moment Karin start shouting at her here, she basically drops it altogether. She's in no way rude, but far more casual and assertive.

Camallia's little monologue about love is about romantic feelings specifically, she uses the same wording as Karin does right before, I just felt it would sound very clunky in that line.

[williamrikers]

I debated whether to send this but I think someone should say it. So about your edited subtitles: don't you think it's really entitled to do this when you can't even understand the original dialogue? And to make editorial decisions in the way characters adress each other, greatly impacting characterization? This is not a translation anymore, or a localization, you're falsifying dialogue to suit your own personal interpretation. If you change what a character calls their dad because YOU think they'd be more formal, you're changing characterization. If you have a character adressed with a pet name instead of their name and title, you're changing the entire setting.

This is a transformative work at this point, but you're presenting it as a translation. It seems pretty arrogant to me to act like you're just correcting mistakes or making it more "natural," and it feels in bad taste to treat a production from a country that is not your own like that.

I'm only on anon because I don't want to start drama here. Please consider that someone else already brought up in the comments that you didn't even run this by a native speaker, so I don't think I'm the only one who feels weird about this. I hope you'll think about my criticism even if it seems harsh, but that's only because I feel that this is a really important issue.

hi anon, thank you for your message. i completely understand your concerns and where you're coming from, and believe me, i've asked myself all of these questions before uploading the subtitles for other people to use.

so, to address these issues:

first of all, you are completely right, these subtitles have not been vetted by a native speaker. i would be utterly THRILLED if someone volunteered to do that! if you know anyone who might like to proofread 14 hours' worth of subtitles, please send them my way!

however, and i think this is the big point of contention here, yes, these subtitles are in fact a bit of a transformative work. AS ARE ALL TRANSLATIONS ALL THE TIME. it is impossible to directly translate from any language into another. there will always be details lost, and interpretations made because no two languages work the same. i have been very clear and upfront about the fact that these are not word-for-word translations and that i took some creative liberties. i even included a readmore file with the download to make sure that anyone who's downloading these subs, including people who don't have a tumblr account, know exactly what they're getting. anyone who doesn't like what i did can just ignore these subtitles and move on with their life. i'm not hacking people's computers to make them use my subs.

about "khun nu" (which i think you're referring to when you say pet name?): this is actually a case of me making the translation much more like the original. they do call him khun nu all the time in the original (which is very easy to hear even if you don't speak a word of thai). khun nu is actually quite a common form of address as i've found, several other shows use it as well (for example my school president and never let me go). "nu" itself is a term of endearment, but "khun nu" is a bit more fickle and extremely hard to translate. i've seen it translated as "young master" several times now, but that doesn't really fit for tankhun imo. so i left it as-is.

this whole thing was a labor of love for me and did my best to do this show justice. when i say that kinnporsche changed my life, i'm not joking. however, if you don't like me, my approach to this translation, or the choices i made, that's completely fine. you can just ignore the fact that these subtitles exist and move on with your life. you could, in fact, make your own subs if you wanted to. editing srt files is extremely easy and can be quite fun!

wishing you all the best 😘

[starwell-tarot]

hiiii its about the mars conj venus ask! sorry for responding so late i didnt see it

anyways thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to give me your opinion on it i really really appreciate it

i definitly see what you mean as the venus student person i have this HUGE need to make him proud he asked me to do competitions and i said yes but i really really want to be the one to get us the first place

and even tho ig he wont show it and he is always supportive im pt sure he would be disappointed if i dont win

hes an aries sun, venus and mars and im an aries moon and venus its pt wild

You're very welcome, love!

So my assumption did translate into real life 🤔 that's interesting to hear! As I mentioned before please make sure to not push yourself too much in order to satisfy your mentor ... I'm glad he's being supportive of you, though. When it comes to the fear of disappointing him .. well I can't talk much. I don't know if he'll actually be or your fear of wanting him always proud of you is making you think he'll be highly disappointed or mad if you didn't win. (Like some sort of anxiety projection. But then again, I'm just thinking it a possibility, not stating it the truth!)

That's an Aries bonanza! I can see how things are so wild. That's a moon to sun conjunct synastry, a Venus conjunct synastry and a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry... Woah 🤯

Usually I find an Aries moon is a little bit more impulsive and with more mood swings than the Aries sun. (If anyone wants to prove me wrong, you can!) So he might be grounding for you, in that sense. You two definitely have a very intense connection. It's very... Single minded. (In the idea that the relationship is very committed and dedicated.) With such synastrys, I'd think you're his favorite student 😁

The crazy thing is that when you first gave me this ask it got me thinking I've never had a Venus to Mars conjunct synastry where I'd be the Venus... I wandering how that would be like. Guess what! I'm an Aries Venus 😂 This feels fated!

With both of you having Aries Venus... I would say you are probably both very honest and direct. So my advice would be to talk things out, always. Instead of sitting alone with concerns and anxieties, voice them out. Upfront communication is always good with Aries placements 😁

It's fun talking to you. Don't hesitate to reach out to me again if you ever have any other questions you wanna debate or even just stories to tell. 😊

[thecagedbirdsingsoffreedom]

I always feel conflicted in December because it's a reminder of two birthdays for two dead people. A birthday for one that's alive. A holiday season I don't really celebrate anymore.

And an engagement anniversary.

Kai would have been 10. You'd have been 32. E 32. And we'd be four years into a marriage.

And that's kind of terrifying, but also sad.

I get really passive-aggressive/outright aggressive with E specifically but a lot of shit just doesn't sit well with me anymore.

This whole dangling in my face about boundaries today was stupid as fuck. He acts like me verbalizing what was already implied years ago is so criminal when really I believe it's just coming from a petty POV.

Or maybe I take offense to him calling Z a rando. Or him implying that anyone I spend time with is a rando.

Should I even be getting worked up about it?

I mulled it over and even went shopping before I decided to rip into him because I had to sort through where the feelings were coming from.

And then I realized it was more my upset at him voicing his opinion at all. Lmfao.

We're so fucked.

I guess, for starters, it pisses me off what he thinks. Which is already a bad indicator. It pisses me off because he has no right to voice jack shit when he is no one I rely on for anything. And that is the truth. I can't even talk to him about my thoughts/feelings. I don't believe I get sufficient feedback to bother explaining things of real depth to him, and when I do test the waters, I get some selfish response that isn't helpful in the slightest.

It pissed me off that he's making it seem like the time I choose to spend with someone is bad. When news flash, I'm free to do with my time what I please and spend it with whom I please. I don't have to check in with him and discuss anything. He certainly doesn't check in with me about anything until things are done, and at that point, it's more of an announcement. He has his family for that too and as much as it hurt me at first I realized I'm not exactly part of it anymore. He has someone who should be checking in with him and vice versa, and that certainly isn't me. I don't know why he gets mad when I state this too because you can't have your cake slices and eat them too. I'm not the one who chose to procreate and involve myself with someone. And this isn't even a bad thing, so I don't know why he gets so uppity about it. He chose to be with someone, I certainly don't fault him or care.

And if I ever do decide to do that it certainly isn't his fucking business. As far as I'm concerned, I am not his concern nor anything else, really. And this whole overstepping is ridiculous, in my opinion. It's not credible to judge my actions and decisions when he himself is so willing to ruin his current setup over something that was denied to him like a child.

I can't stand that shit, grow the fuck up. You have real responsibilities now. If you didn't want them then you shouldn't have bound yourself to someone through a kid.

I like spending time with Z. We get along. We have fun and share the same sense of humor. I like the way he treats me and the gestures he does simply because he knows I like them. I love that's so willing to join me just to spend time with me even if it's doing dumb shit and he has to drive over an hr to see me.

I like that he takes the time and pays attention. I like him. He's funny, smart, kind, and attentive. I don't have to play guessing games, and we have great communication.

He's not you, not by a long shot, but he's alright. He's helped me a lot and he holds me accountable. He says what he means and he does what he says.

And I can respect that.

Whenever I think about dating he usually comes to mind. And I know we're both getting older so he's been very honest and upfront about his opinions and expectations.

So when I hear comments referring to him as a "rando" it sets me off because he's not. I obviously haven't known him for a million years, but honestly, idgaf. The reality of it is that I won't know anyone again for millions of years worth. Any new person in my life is simply that. New. They're not coming from a childhood background. They're not coming from an established and long-winded past. And I don't see that as a hindrance anyway because the men I do know from my earlier years are unavailable and/or out of the question. There's no sense looking back at this point, especially and most importantly, because you're not here.

There used to be a time where I would have cared if E and M were on board but honestly they're both off doing their own lives so I don't see why I would seek their approval for anything or anyone.

And if E wants to stop talking to me because I'm out here dating or testing waters, then so be it. That's my business, and I wish I had a dick for him to choke on because it's so hypocritical on so many levels. Beginning with the fact that 1. He's not here, 2. I learned the hard way I can't depend on him and 3. He's already got his own shit.

And if anyone is a detriment here, it's you.

You're what stops me from progressing further every time. I feel so bad. And the most stupid thing is that even in life you'd never been a source of discouragement. Not once, not ever. Not for anything in the world. You'd always supported me even if you didn't like it or agreed.

So I can't accept anything less than that, especially when it's disguised under the idea of love when really it's just petty, selfish jealousy.

All this to say that I figured this year for your birthday I'd decorate and maybe get a cake.

I'm working on being happy as much as I can, as best as I can.

I love you.

I love you forever.

And there still isn't a day I don't miss you and baby.

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

An Unwavering Light - Chapter 4

Rating: T/Teen for violence (specifically for descriptions of injuries) and mature themes, including ones about trauma and depression.

Setting: begins before the confrontation with Aizen and co. in Fake Karakura Town arc, and goes from there to the Thousand Year Blood War arc. This chapter takes place during the events of the manga from chapters 392-422

Music to listen to: nothing anymore by Shiro Sagisu (YT | Spotify), Light's Theme by Yoshihisa Hirano and Hideki Taniuchi (YT), Nothing Can be Explained Instrumental by Shiro Sagisu (YT), and Ambered by Bluetile Lounge (YT | Spotify).

Fic synopsis: During the confrontation against Aizen, the unthinkable happens. For Hitsugaya, a vow is broken, and for Hinamori, her future is unknown. With everything in shambles, how can they piece their lives back together? Or their bond?

Chapter synopsis: Hinamori is taken to Twelfth Division to begin her physical recovery. Hitsugaya undergoes Hojiku-Zai and reflects on his regenerated limbs.

AN: Yes that's right! You're not just getting one chapter this time, but two! We have more angst but also some brotp goodness!

I'll say upfront, for anyone worried about there being body horror in this chapter (if you remember what Hojiku-Zai is like, then you know what I mean) rest assured there isn't any here as I don't like writing that sort of thing.

This chapter was intense to write, and I know the next one will be too. It also occurs to me I am posting this on Rangiku's birthday...yay for timing!

Disclaimer: BLEACH and it’s characters belong to Tite Kubo.

<< Prev chapter || Chapter Index || Next chapter >> coming soon

______________________________

When Hitsugaya comes to, the first thing he sees is the sky, and in lower part of his periphery, the towering silhouette of Soukyoku Hill. His mind is hazy for only a few seconds before snapping back to reality.

On either side of him are Fourth Division members, who carry him on a stretcher and don’t notice he’s awake. Despite their rushing steps, he’s barely jostling around.

With a grunt from the ebbing pain, he casts his gaze to the right. Isane walks speedily alongside those carrying him; as she does, she’s calling out orders to those around her. In the gap between her and one of her subordinates, he sees Komamura and Hisagi being carried on stretchers as well.

Where’s Hinamori? He can't sense her reiatsu anywhere. Is she still back in the Fake Karakura Town? The only thought stopping him from trying to get off the stretcher is that Unohana had shown up. She's in safe hands, but it doesn't stop the urgency that thrums through him.

“Captain Hitsugaya, you’re awake!”

He returns his attention Fourth Division’s lieutenant. A few of the surrounding officer glance at him, but are quick to turn their gazes away.

Isane offers him a relieved smile, but her concern keeps it small. “You’re back in the Soul Society, we’re taking you to Fourth Division. We’ve been told Inoue-san will assist with healing our wounded. Given their severity, we can ask her tend to your injuries first.”

 “No,” he rasps out.

Isane blinks, her smile vanishing. “What?”

“Contact Kurotsuchi…I want Hojiku-Zai.”

A flicker of horror crosses over her face. Even the officers carrying him slow their pace and exchange surprised or concerned looks.

“Captain, are certain?” she asks. “Inoue-san shouldn’t be more than a few hours. We can treat your wounds until she arrives and can ask her to see you fir– ”

“I’m certain.” He hadn’t meant to snap, but he can’t afford to wait any longer. “I’m aware of the consequences, Kotetsu. Tell Kurotsuchi if he’s returned, or whoever he appointed to oversee Twelfth Division in his absence.”

She takes in a heavy breath, considering.

He doesn’t have time for this. He can’t be like this for a moment longer. The urgency buzzes along his nerves and he holds on to it, lets it take over his senses.

Eventually, Isane raises her hand, signalling her officers to halt. Then, she bows to him; even as she does this, she winces. “I’ll inform him and Akon-san right away.”

_____________________________________

Hinamori drifts in the darkness. It had been numbing up until a stinging sparks in her eyes. She has no choice but to open them.

She does it slowly, but even then, it doesn’t stop her from grimacing from the brightness of the light. Where is she? Why is it so bright?

Shadows come into the edges of her vision, hazy and moving around her. Then sound returns, and there’s the beeping and humming of machinery. The air is cold, and smells odd. The figures around her are speaking, but she can’t make out what they’re saying.

One of them gets closer. They’re holding something and bringing it towards her face. “Lieutenant…we’re about to…you’ll be out for…”

Their words fade in and out. She’s too weak to speak. She simply stares back at the figure as they put what they hold over her face. Whatever it is, it’s making her return back to the darkness. She doesn’t fight her eyes closing.

_____________________________________

There’s a whirl of machinery that runs through the whole of Twelfth Division. In this room, it’s quieter, a background noise to the comings and goings of division members just outside of the door. Looking around, Hitsugaya suspects it’s an examination room. It’s sparsely furnished, with only a thin mattress over the metal table he sits on, a two-tiered tray that’s been wheeled over to him, and a chair in the corner.

He glances at Hyourinmaru, still dirty with concrete dust and rubble, propped up against the wall at his bedside. He remains silent, but Hitsugaya can sense his seething; at him or something else, he can't tell.

The wall he presses his back against is chilly and gives off a dull shine from the overhead lights. Despite the coldness and strange odors scenting the air, he’s glad to be in a room like this. It’s quiet, the silence in stark contrast to everything that’s happened in the last several hours. There’s also the fact that during the few times he needed to visit, he’d seen other rooms in the division, and tried not to think about what half of the machines in this barracks did.

He shudders. He never thought there would come a day when he’d ask Mayuri for anything. He’d always been conflicted about his fellow captain; on one hand, he has a brilliant mind that has led to leaps in technology for the Soul Society and the work the Shinigami carry out. On the other, his methods were abhorrent and went against most of what he’d once thought Shinigami stood for.

How things had changed. How he had changed. Over the years, and in a matter of a few hours.

The door opens with a low, metallic whine. Hitsugaya is oddly calm when Akon enters the room with two needles and a vial. In the latter is a green liquid that sloshes around as he approaches.

“Captain Hitsugaya,” he says in way of greeting.

Hitsugaya only nods in return.

Akon keeps his expression measured, but Hitsugaya senses a slight hesitation in him. He wonders if he spoke with the Fourth Division member Isane left with him, who stands outside of the room.

“Are you aware of the side effects for Hojiku-Zai?” Akon asks.

“I’ve heard that it’s painful,” he says. “Incredibly painful.”

“It may also lead to small defects, such as aching joints or missing fingers or toes. However, it’s a rare occurrence and your limbs should be the same they were before they were severed, but I feel I should still warn you. Knowing this, do you still want to proceed?”

“Yes.”

Akon comes around to his left side and puts the needles and vial down on the tray. Hitsugaya’s uniform sleeve and pant leg had been cut off by Fourth Division members. Akon removes the several layers of gauze wrapped around his shoulder first. “You’ll want to bite down on something,” he advises, nodding to the folded cloth next to the needles. “It’s far more painful than you realise.”

“Kotetsu numbed my shoulder and leg before I got here.”

“It might help a little, but it will only work so far. I assume she wasn't able to numb every area, given the type of wounds. As such, it likely won’t stop the pain that’s going to come from the regrowth of your nerves.”

“Then what if I was unconscious?”

“It doesn’t work unless you’re awake.”

How Mayuri had come up with his contraptions and procedures often bewildered Hitsugaya. He can’t say he’s surprised that a requirement for something like this involves being conscious. “Very well.”

He grabs the cloth offered to him by Akon and puts it between his teeth. Akon stops on the last layer of gauze and assists Hitsugaya to lie down. He then sticks one of the needles through the vial’s cork top and extracts some of the green liquid. “I’d also advise you to not look, it’s not…pleasant.”

Hitsugaya grunts in ascent. Despite the warning, he eyes the needle as he lays his head back against the mattress. Akon removes the final piece of gauze.

“It will be quick,” he says, but it’s less of an assurance to ease any anxiety Hitsugaya may have and more of an affirmation to what Hitsugaya hoped the procedure will be. He can’t wait for anything else, he needs something quick. He knows pain, has experienced in many battle, and nothing would ever come close to what he'd been gone through only a few hours ago.

As the needle draws closer to his shoulder, he shuts his eyes. With sight gone, he reaches out his senses, picking up on all of Twelfth Division’s reiatsu, but he searches through and over them, until there’s a small fire. She’s further down the hallway, her reiatsu steady but weak.

He’d sensed it earlier when he was being taken by Isane and her officers to Twelfth Division.

“She needs to undergo several operations,” Isane had explained when seeing his stricken reaction. “Minazuki couldn't heal her internal injuries. Once her operations are complete, she’ll be transferred to Fourth Division.”

“When will that be?” he’d asked, voice taut.

Isane’s expression had softened to one of sympathy. “We’re not sure, but Akon-san has estimated up to two weeks.”

Akon's free hand presses down on the gap between his neck and shoulder.

Live, he begs again. You have to live, Hinamori.

Hitsugaya clings on to that plea even as the needle pierces his arm and he bites into the cloth to muffle his scream.

_________________________

Hinamori kept the smile in place even as he turned to go back to his division. She's never been happier for him than in this moment. It wasn't only because he deserved a promotion like this after decades of hard work, but because he'd finally come out of the slump. It's hard not to blame him for getting into one, with his captain vanishing without warning or any clues as to what happened.

She feared he had lost his purpose, but with his shoulders squared and his steps purposeful, any worry that lingered lifted from her heart.

The haori suited him in an odd way. To think a Soul this young could achieve a rank this high, but given his prodigal level in skills and intellect, it shouldn't surprise her. Still, even thought it had been a month since he was appointed captain of Tenth Division, she had to stop herself from doing a double take at the haori and new hairstyle.

She'd get used it in time, and she has no doubt he will be a captain for many decades, maybe even centuries.

But the longer she looked at his receding back, the more a strange sensation crept in. It's one she'd experienced a few times, perhaps even tried to ignore many more. There's a distance between them, one that had began when she started at the Academy.

She'd always known she wouldn't see him around as much, but they're friends, always have been, but it didn't mean they would walk the same path. Certain things, like promotions and her dedication to Fifth Division, made it harder to close this gap between them.

It's not an issue, she told herself when a ting of sadness edged it's way in and damped her smile. They'll be friends be for centuries, until death. So then, when had it gone from knowing that to hoping it can be like that?

________________________

By the time he is taken to Fourth Division, Hitsugaya wants nothing more than to sleep. Unlike others, he had his room to himself and away from the majority of the noise of the division. A faint pain throbbed through his regrown limbs. Without having to tell Isane this, she and another division member wrapped them in bandages coated in the same salve that she used to numb his wounds before.

“Where’s Matsumoto?” he asks after she’s finished and her assistant leaves the room. “Is she here?”

“She’s scheduled to arrive here after her operation,” Isane says. “She required further treatment from Twelfth Division. Her operation began after your procedure ended. It shouldn’t take more than three hours. Lieutenant Kira did what he could at the time for her during the fight, but Lieutenant Matsumoto ended up straining herself too much when she came to the Soul Society.”

Hitsugaya’s eyes widen. “She came here during the fight?”

Isane’s lips form a thin, tight line and she avoids his gaze. “I don't know why that is, but I'm certain she'll tell you in time. We’ll use extensive kido to ensure she’s discharged either tomorrow or the next day.” She gestures to the bandages. “We’ll remove these tomorrow morning, the pain will have subsided by then. We’ll also perform tests on your limbs to ensure there aren't any abnormalities. We trust Akon-san’s assessment of the treatment, but we just need to make sure.”

He can only nod.

She bows. “I need to attend to other patients. Dinner will arrive for you shortly. We have officers stationed nearby if you require anything.”

He bows his head in return. “Thank you, Kotetsu.”

He barely touches dinner when it’s served to him. Along with no appetite, a sense of nauseous threatens to churn his stomach even at the scent of food. He ignores the concerned look of the officer who comes to collect his dishes several minutes later.

There’s a constant commotion going on outside his room, coming through as muffled rushed footsteps and the occasional shout. He doesn’t pay attention to any of it, living in the silence of his room.

With the pain in his limbs numbed, he stares at the ceiling, at the space between two lights, eyes heavy but unwilling to close. He breathes in deeply, quietly. There isn’t a coherent thought going through his mind. Only a series of sensations, wordless and weighing him down. His chest still hurts, but it’s less of a clenching twist and more of the aftermath of holding something too tightly. It flows out wide, as though he is caught in the ripples of a stone that’s shot through water.

The aching threatens to bring back, in vivid detail, everything that happened today.

I couldn't protect her.

With a fierce shake of his head, he chooses to focus on something else. Hyourinmaru now lays on a table at his bedside. The weapon is only a little bit cleaner, with the hilt and sheath baring smudges of dirty and debris. He makes to reach for his zanpakuto but stops when he's about to move his regenerated limb.

Swallowing thickly, he tilts his head a fraction and stares down at the arm. He’s barely moved the new limbs, and when he does it's involuntarily. He feels and senses everything about them – their weight, the fabric of the dried bandages, the natural coolness of his skin – as if he hadn’t lost them in the first place.

With a strange hesitation, Hitsugaya lifts and bends the arm at the elbow. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. No pain. No odd sensations. As if it were the arm he’s always had. But it isn’t. It’s something entirely new, unknowable yet looking the exact same as before.

_________________________

He’d fallen asleep at some point, but jolts awake in a cold sweat and a cry strangled in his throat. He’d kicked off the sheets and his arms reach out in the air. With his aching heart racing, he barely remembers to breathe. He wipes his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the blood that isn’t there, until he remembers where he is.

It happened all over again.

He swallows back the threat of tears and curls in to himself. He keeps his eyes wide open for the rest of the night and into the dawn before a division members comes to check on him.

_________________________

Hinamori awakens in a darker room. There's still the humming of machinery, but there's now a window letting in the first rays of the sunrise. She breathes in, but it's strange. It's air, but thicker and hotter. Something is attached to her face and digging into the sides of her head. A mask, she realises.

She tries and fails to raise a hand to her remove it. She can feel something working within her to keep the pain at bay, but it must be affect her movements too, making them sluggish and heavy.

She looks around the room for someone or for a button to press, but this isn't like any room in Fourth Division. Where is she?

You're in Twelfth Division, Master.

She startles at Tobiume's voice. She's barely perceptible, as though speaking to her through a thick wall. Hinamori raises her head, and immediately regrets it when a wave of dizziness hits her. She lowers her head with a wince. She feels around, until her right hand ghosts across the sheets and bumps into her zanpakuto. The connection between them is tenuous, only made slightly stronger when she wraps her fingers around the blade's sheath. She chances turning her head, and there lies Tobiume on a stand next to her bed.

"Why...?"

She doesn't finish her question. The word briefly flashes a memory before her eyes, but she can't make out what it is.

Healing...It's the only word she can hear from her zanpakuto.

The darkness has fallen too far for her to drifts back into. She can only stare at the ceiling, waiting for someone to come.

_________________________

The rest of the morning goes by in a blur. Hitsugaya remains seated in bed, staring out the window into an empty courtyard. He can't think a coherent thought, can only languish in a haze that consumes his mind.

Eventually, another officer delivers his breakfast. He's about to send it away when he notices movements over the officer's shoulder.

Rangiku stands in the doorway of his room. His breath hitches, but he struggles to get her name to his lips. She has one arm bandaged and a slouch in her shoulders. What strikes him the most, however, are the dark circles beneath her eyes, the paleness of her skin, and the frizz in her hair.

“Captain,” she says.

The officer – Mori, he remembers now -- finally notices her. “Ah, Lieutenant Matsumoto. Are you alright? Did you need something?”

Rangiku shakes her head. “No, I was hoping to visit my captain. I’ll come back later.”

“It’s fine,” Hitsugaya speaks up. “You can come in.”

Mori worries his lip for a second, then bows. “I’ll return shortly.”

Rangiku steps aside for him to leave. Even left alone, she doesn’t move into the room from the doorway. She rests against it, as if she’d been putting on an act before with how well she really is.

“Are you sure it’s all right for you to be walking around?” Hitsugaya asks.

She says nothing, only meeting his gaze, and it's enough to tell him she has been through something awful. Something has broken within her, like him. He's never seen her like, had never thought he would.

Her gaze softens, and she lets out a short, quiet sigh before righting herself. She nods to the untouched breakfast on his bedside table. “You should eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he says, not sparing the food a glance.

She walks into the room. Her steps are slow, hiding the unsteadiness he can sense from her. “Still, it’s not good to have an empty stomach," she reasons, "especially at times like this.”

Did she even realise she spoke the words Isshin’s used to tell them whenever they skipped a meal?

“Did you eat yours?” he asks.

That gets a flicker of a smile from her. “You have me there.”

As she sits down in the chair at his bedside, he takes up the bowl of soup and hands it to her. “Then here. I don’t feel like having miso today anyway.”

She blinks at his offering. “I…” She lets out a strange sound, a cross between a humored huff and a withheld sob. “Thank you, Captain.”

She’s quick to take the bowl and start draining it, and he withholds his questioning by eating a piece of tamagoyaki. He leaves two for her, giving her the dish after he’s done with it.

He’s never been like this with her. They look out for each other and ensure each other's welfare, but not like this. It’s never gotten to the point where they are concerned the other hasn’t eaten, to the point where they can barely speak to each other but can still convey without words they’ve gone through something unimaginable.

“How are your arm and leg, sir?” she asks. “Captain Unohana told me you underwent Hojiku-Zai."

There's an additional question there that goes unspoken: Why did you choose that method? He ignores it. “They’re doing tests on them within the hour. After that, they’ll assess whether I can be discharged later today or tomorrow.”

“But how do they feel?”

“Fine, nothing out of the ordinary.” After settling down from the nightmare earlier, he’d only moved his regenerated limbs to sit up, but otherwise kept them immobile. However, to prove his point, he lifts his left arm. There’s stiffness from keeping it still, making his movements stilted as he raises it. “It’s like nothing happened.”

It feels like a confession, a vulnerable moment he’d normally keep from her. He blames the exhaustion and the wordless thoughts eddying in his head. He can’t deny, however, that it’s a relief to speak with someone like her. Someone who knows him, has seen him in harder times.

“How are your injuries?” he asks while lowering his arm to his side. He doesn’t want to think back to the fight, but can’t help it as he recalls, “On the battlefield, I sensed your reiatsu change suddenly. You were almost on the brink of death. What happened?”

Perhaps without realising, Rangiku clutches the left side of her waist. “I was attacked by a creature created by those three Arrancar – Ayon I think is what it was called. Kira-kun did what he could. Twelfth finished what he’d started, and then Fourth healed over the rest. It’s all better now, and Captain Unohana said I shouldn’t have any issues.” She raises her bandaged arm. “This is just for scratches and strain. They’ll probably remove it today.”

He gives a nod. “That’s good to hear."

She waits, shoulders tense and fingers lacing together in her lap. She must sense his hesitation and eagerness to ask her further. Is now the best time? If not now, when? If she weren’t here, he’s certain his thoughts would fall back to what happened yesterday or to Hinamori is, helpless to do anything for her. He knows even after he gets out of here, that’s still going to be case. For how long, he can’t predict.

“Something else happened there,” he says, voice gravely. “You vanished from the fight in the Fake Karakura Town. You ended up here, and from what Kotetsu told me, Aizen and Ichimaru did as well.”

She eyes twitch at the mention of Gin’s name. It’s as he suspected, but seeing her reaction makes him change his mind about where to lead this conversation. “I won’t ask you to explain your actions now, but I will in the coming days.”

Her shoulders fall. “Yes, of course.”

He lets out a short breath. Despite the obvious relief that she doesn’t have explain what happened after she vanished, there’s still an air of apprehension around her, and it’s his turn to wait for her to come out with it.

“They’ll probably be coming to do your tests soon.” He blinks at her words, and all the tautness floods out of him. She makes to stand, acting as if she hadn’t noticed the tension in the air at all. “I’ll leave you to –”

“You can stay.” She freezes at his offer. “Unless you need to return to your room.”

She hesitates, briefly glancing at the doorway behind her, then sinks back into the chair. “I guess someone needs to make sure you don’t act out.”

It’s as close to normality as he’s gotten in the last twenty-four hours. If this were any other situation he’d lecture her, but instead, he huffs. “That’s my line.”

__________________________________

<< Prev chapter || Chapter Index || Next chapter >> coming soon

[vtori73]

Controversial but... I think everyone should stop being weird about what bi+ people do when it comes to their life. Example 1, many will take issue with bi people who only are interested in having sex with women... I really really REALLY don't care what you have to say but it's basically none of your business and should just move on and just leave that person alone if you have such an issue with their sex/romantic life.

Now yes, some who are like this are dealing with heteronormativity and such but that's not up to you to decide and demonizing/writing off everyone who is only interested in sexual relationships is just BAD, it's wrong and it's probably why you hardly see JUST aro people who are open/out about their sexual orientation because of how DEMONIZED they outside/within the queer community. Sure plenty of gay people are more open about sex, and things like casual sex and such but like MANY also still hold up puritanical values surrounding sex that they may or may not realize are derived from Christianity & also probably white supremacy because tbh they go hand in hand a lot so it seems pretty likely.

Some may argue that demonizing critiquing bi women who only like women on a sexual basis has nothing to do with demonizing aro's but it usually does because of the basic idea a lot of phobic people have is that just wanting to have sex with someone and nothing more = treating people like sex objects/playthings and that these types of relationships are not valid or have any value. Tbh though I don't think most people make a distinction and are arophobic as well but idk there might be some who feel this way.

Anyway continuing even then the only real reason to call someone out for this kind of thing is if they truly are treating people poorly and that only if the people they have dated speak out and say because otherwise you are making giant speculations about someone else's life. Why do you all assume that these kinds of people aren't upfront about what they want? Why is suddenly a call for concern when it only comes to aro's/bi+ people like we don't know how to honest and open about what we want unlike literally everyone else that exists on this damn planet.

Sure there are a decent amount of people who aren't but those people are assholes and could be of any gender or sexual orientation, it is not at all limited to aro's and mspec people who have preferences for sex only relationships towards 1 or more genders. And, no, a woman wanting to just have sex with another woman/femme only doesn't make them automatically misogynistic but you questioning them about their own boundaries for what relationships they get into/pursue and pushing their boundaries on it SURE is! Especially since this is something I only see randomly brought up with bi woman, never bi men, proving to me that this is just another terf/radfem talking point because they can't help being bimisogynistic. And, also, just because YOU look down on sexual only relationships doesn't mean everyone does or feels the same way you do bout them so maybe learn to be less judgemental and critical of others just because of personal feelings?

So anyway, long story short but like... maybe be normal about other people's sex lives??? If you are not involved with them the why tf does it even matter to you?

But, also also also if they are being regressive maybe still hold some empathy so long as they haven't hurt other people too badly (aka those who aren't abusers) because maybe just MAYBE it's wrong to jump on & attack people who haven't had the chance to grow and learn from being conditioned by heteronormativity & such because we all talk about it & how awful it is but could give a crap about the people who in present time are suffering from it which just seems supppppppppeeeeeeerrr hypocritical to me but what do I know?

[in-case-of-grace]

Not me entirely rethinking Chameleon Core's basic dice after reading this. (I will hold myself back from doing so...for now...)

There are some interesting benefits and drawbacks to the pool approach here-- as a positive, there's the already noted inability to have auto successes. However, there's also a basic accessibility problem where you need a ton of dice to actually play. (Now, plenty of TTRPG folk do have those, but not all-- there are enough cases where players only have access to a single set for this to be worth consideration.)

There's also some slight concern about friction-- when they get large enough, dice pools can take longer to resolve than target values. As they get bigger, you've got more dice to roll, collect, and check. (If you use something like FUDGE dice and just have a success be on +'s then you can remove some of this friction, however-- this comes at the cost of less ability to change a success threshold.)

From a game designer's standpoint though it would make balancing easier-- either you only have 1 die's value to worry about, or you use a threshold and have harder rolls require more successes, and easier ones require less. You wouldn't have to memorize every possible modifier players could get to figure a fair target value. Even when playing this would make the GM's job a lil easier-- I think determining how many dice and successes are needed would be inherently easier than determining a target value.

But, of course-- this doesn't mean target values are inherently wrong either, since you can potentially avoid the auto success problem with a good handle on balancing. Just limit the ways in which rolls can be modified, while also ensuring that you don't make it completely impossible to succeed at average tasks without a billion modifiers.

Target values will also be less random, at least insofar as my...much less mathematically inclined brain can figure. It's more predictable for most folk, the math for dice pools is complex in a zone I think a lot of people can't as easily do in their head while playing a game. (Though it has the upfront appearance of being simpler, and it is at the point of rolling at least.)

As far as I can see it in my just-woke-up-thinking-about-dice state of mind, the value of a pool system is in avoiding the auto success and (depending on the size of the pool) reducing the math in your game. (When playing at least.) Whereas a target value system's value lies in easier access, and a greater ability to Get Crunchy With It as it's more predictable.

I'm rambling now but it's fun to think about these things, I'd be interested in hearing more about where folk think the value of each approach lies! (And if I'm incorrect on any of these fronts.)

There's an interesting functional difference between dice pool systems and target number systems that I feel is often overlooked.

For the sake of this discussion with a dice pool system I mean any system where a number of dice are rolled and the values of each individual die are read as is. How those dice are interpreted depends on the game: sometimes you'll be looking at the number of dice that hit a certain numerical threshold (like in WoD, Shadowrun, Burning Wheel, etc.) and that number measures your degree of success. Sometimes you'll simply look at the highest number and interpret the results on a table (like in Blades in the Dark).

Conversely with a target number system I'm referring to any old system where the number of dice rolled is set in stone and the sum of those dice is compared to a target number: the target number itself can be determined by a character's stat or the difficulty of the task, sometimes modifiers are applied to the roll or the difficulty or even both. Whatever. The point is, it's comparing the sum of the roll to a target number and there's a target that needs to be hit for good results. D&D, PbtA, Call of Cthulhu, these are all target number systems, they simply use different dice and different methods for setting the target number.

Anyway, the difference that I feel is often ignored is that within a dice pool system there is no way to outpace the target numbers so that failure is never an option.

Even though in PbtA games modifiers of +5 or more are rare, there is a theoretical possibility of getting there through the clever application of moves, which will theoretically make it so that you will get at least a 7-9 (interpreted as a partial success). Conversely, in D&D (3e, 5e at least) past a certain point characters will reach a degree of competence where certain checks are basically a non-issue. In spite of how people often run these games, natural 1s are not automatic failures on ability and skill checks, so provided you are able to get a high enough bonus (easier in 3e via hunting for synergy bonuses, but even 5e has some abilities which will ensure a minimum result of 10 on the dice for certain proficiencies, meaning that Hard checks become automatic successes).