#like: does the fact that the elves coming to helm's deep make no sense and also VANISH from the plot as soon as it's over irritate me? YES! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soyeahitsmiddleearth · 4 years ago

Text

Elmer's Glue pt.1

Éomer/Reader

God you just can't get his name right, and it's a shame cause's he's cute af

Awkwardness Humor and Fluff

----

Someone like you shouldn't have survived nearly as long as you did.

You first came tumbling into Middle Earth a few days before departing for some big important quest to destroy a powerful ring, having landed yourself in a place called Rivendell that's full of elves and lovely scenery.

You were presented at some meeting and urged to join this 'Fellowship' and became a valuable member of the group even despite your lack of fighting knowledge, because you somehow had some sort of 6th sense regarding things that have yet to happen.

Just barely did you and your friends survive Helms Deep, The Hornburg, after all of those horrible events (losing Gandalf, Merry and Pippin being captured, and Frodo and Sam departing to continue on on their own), but once all is said and done, you're ecstatic to finally have a moment of rest and celebration.

A grand party is thrown in the royal halls of Rohan, but you're none to interested in the drinking or dancing.

Instead, you opt to watch everyone else enjoy themselves.

At some point after Legolas wipes the floor with Gimli in a drinking game, the prince, and brother of the sweet woman Eowyn, ends up meandering over to where you idly sit.

You remember riding with him to and from Isengard during your journey to reclaim your hobbit friends, though the two of you didn't speak much. It was kind of embarrassing for you to sit so close to him and attempt to share a conversation while looking straight ahead, so you didn't speak much at all, and he didn't engage himself often either.

It was surprising to you how comfortable the journey was, though, all things considered.

His horse was huge and he was just as large, but you never felt afraid or feared falling even once during the ride.

It's not a big deal, but it still stuck out to you since he's so clearly a very skilled rider.

Even after all that, however, you still totally blank out on his name when he suddenly approaches after helping Legolas bring Gimili to the resting area.

Your mind begins to race as you try to remember the name that belongs to him, and all too soon do you realize that you're both staring at each other and he's waiting for your to say something (probably after greeting you, which you did not catch).

"L-Lord... Elmer..." You say slowly after a moment, praying to god you got it right since you took inspiration from your favorite brand of kids glue.

He raises an eyebrow when you say his 'name', and a smile creeps on to his face. "Elmer?"

Ah, shit. You definitely didn't get it right.

"Elmo?" You mentally kick yourself for that one, he's definitely not a small red puppet monster, you would've noticed if he were.

He shakes his head this time, amusement painting his features as you struggle to come up with his actual name.

"Emir?"

Another head shake, and also a full on smile.

"It's not Edgar, is it?" It definitely doesn't sound right, but maybe you'll get lucky.

At this point, you know for a fact that your face is on fire, this is so embarrassing, but you simply can't remember.

"Would you like me to tell you?" He offers after you don't guess again for a time, leaning his arm on the table next to you, leaning closer to you.

Getting help at this point would be mortifying, so you deny his offer for the proper answer and take another crack and guessing. "No, no wait. I've got it! Your name is... Elinor..." You mentally smack yourself in the face for that one; he doesn't even look like an Elinor (mostly because he's not a woman).

"Not quite. Eomer is my name may I remind you."

So your first guess was the closest, but still so far away.

"W-Well, this is extremely embarrassing." You stutter out, adverting your gaze from his eyes which have suddenly become so close.

Eomer can't help but to laugh, and the smile that graces his lips is positively dashing.

You glance back up at him and notice right away, and once more your face begins to burn like a furnace.

"I-I didn't mean to forget, I swear! And I definitely wasn't trying to make fun of you either!"

His chuckles die down when your slightly panicked speech betrays your concern of being disrespectful, and he wastes no time in assuring you that it's perfectly fine. "If you are worried that you've upset me, then do not fret. I'm not offended, simply amused."

Well, that's a relief.

"Um... well, that's good- I guess," you tell him your name, then continue, "I feel so bad. You took me on your horse and everything and I didn't even remember your name! Gosh, I suck."

The tall blond-haired man looks at you oddly when you insult yourself so strangely, and you realize that you forgot to keep your other-word slang to a minimum since it can be hard to understand.

"Right, well, I came over to ask if you would like to join me on a walk outside. Are you interested?" He leans down a bit closer when he asks you this, acting as if he doesn't want anyone else to hear.

Typically you'd be more cautious than this, but you find yourself nodding along regardless.

---

Lord Eomer (you'll definitely remember his name this time, you swear it) took your hand in his and led you outside after you nodded your assent, and while you'd normally dislike being grabbed so casually, you allow it for some reason.

He releases you from his gentle hold once the both of you are beyond the party halls and outside in the cool night air at the bottom of the steps, and you finally find your voice to ask about his intent.

"So... did you want to talk to me about something or...?" You look up at him curiously with your hands clasped in front of you, twisting your heel in the dirt to ease the anxiousness.

"No, nothing in particular. I do have questions, but I simply wanted a moment alone with you," he pauses, then adds slyly, "Your friends have taken up al your time since we arrived, so I had hoped to steal you away for a time."

You aren't sure if you should be flattered, flustered, or both.

"I-I see... well, you've got me now." You mean it as a joke but it's hard to sound humorous when you're so flustered.

He only smiles and nods his head once, "I do."

Cue the awkward silence.

It appears that he's once again waiting for you to say something, so you decide to pull no punches and go straight for the heavy hitting topics.

"So, hows about that battle, huh? Crazy..."

His eyebrows knit together as he thinks over your strange speaking mannerisms, but he doesn't question it and only nods his head instead. "You could say that. The men fought bravely and we lost many, but our victory does not go unrewarded."

"Are you talking about the party?"

"Yes. That, and the knowledge that some of my men get to return home tonight and see their families."

His words bring a small, sad smile to your face, and you speak much more softly this time, "I'm afraid it isn't over, though. With everything going on, it's only a matter of time before we're all sent away again."

"We?"

Oh, right, he doesn't really know about your role in this merry group of misfits.

"Um, yes. I fight, er, kind of. I do my own thing really, but I can't afford to stay behind." It's hard to explain since you aren't sure what the extent of his knowledge is.

His uncle, Theoden, knows almost all about your deal, but does Eomer? He should since he's a key part of this whole Rohan operation, but it's not necessarily your place to tell him either.

"A shield-maiden?" He wonders aloud, taking a seat on the stone steps next to you two.

Even when he's sitting down he's taller than you, and it shoots an arrow of envy through you. The bigger you are, the more intimidated your enemies are, after-all.

"Not quite. I'm not the best at fighting really." It's kind of a lie, actually, because you've got some hidden skill that makes you pretty good at that kind of thing, but it has to do with your foresight to you choose not to explain much further.

Your answer seems to only confuse him more, however, for his eyebrows knit together and his smile tugs downwards into a frown. "You are not? But they bring you into battle regardless?"

Well, shit, now you're making them sound like negligent, reckless idiots.

"N-No- I mean, I'm okay but, uh, it's hard to explain." It's like you somehow just know how to affectively fight; it's like something inside of you just takes over and keeps you from dying, and it proved to be both extremely useful and also unexpected.

They found out about this 'hidden ability' (for lack of a better term) during the battle in which Boromir was slain and you first lost your hobbit friends. You were surrounded and everyone else was fighting for their lives, and in that moment of hopelessness, something inside of you snapped and the floodgates were opened.

Your skill lies in defense, not offense, but it was all you needed to make it through the fight alive and intact.

"I-I know it seems like they were being irresponsible, but there's more to the story- I swear!" You try to defend, taking a step closer to his seated form, "Really, they need me, so it'd be even more irresponsible if they didn't bring me along."

He doesn't seem to get it, for his doubtful expression remains and his frown deepens, but he tries not to judge too much either. "I... see."

A subject change seems like the best course of action, so you decide to ask him a question of your own. "W-Well... anyways. Why'd you want me to come out here with you?"

"I simply wished to learn more about the beautiful newcomer that graced our halls, and I find that I'm even more entranced than before."

Lord Eomer's words bring a flush to your face and leave you flustered, and it seems you can't get your brain to form a coherent thought either.

"Have my words troubled you?" He asks when you still don't manage to find your voice.

"N-No, it's not that..." You trail off and cover your mouth and nose coyly, looking off to the side when you find that you can't meet his gaze any longer. "I'm just not sure how to reply to that. I've been here so long I don't even remember how to flirt." Your words are, of course, an embarrassed joke, and it seems to land well for he chortles with amusement.

"If that is all it is, then it must be fine that I say you've caught my eye, and I'm afraid I cannot get it back until I know more."

"Know more about... m-me?" You repeat slowly, simply trying to wrap your head around it all, "Like... Like what?"

Another dashing smile brightens his handsome features, and this time your heart flutters nervously when he does, "Anything."

You twiddle your thumbs in front of you and dip your head down, racking your brain for any information that would be interesting but not super telling in terms of your 'earth of origin.'

"Um... I can do this-" You raise one of your hands and bend your fingers all the way back until they're perpendicular with your palm, displaying your double jointed fingers effortlessly.

He stares at your hand trick for all of 5 seconds before he's standing up and worriedly asking, "Have you broken your hand?" He takes your hand in his own, delicately turning it around in search of bruises.

"N-No," you pause and look at his larger hands taking yours, then add shyly after, "It's just a trick. I'm double-jointed."

"Double-jointed?" He repeats slowly, not releasing your hand though he does cease his search for damage. "I... see."

He sure does say that a lot.

"I can also do this." You take back one of your hands and reach into your pocket and pull out a lighter that you've had with you all this time, then you ignite a flame and brandish it proudly.

The blond-haired man looks on with wide eyes, and he reaches out towards it, asking with amazement in his voice, "You created fire so effortlessly!'

"Yeah, this little device has, er, oil in it and it ignites it using a spark." It has been helpful many a-night when everyone else has been out and about doing stuff and you were left to tend to the fires. "Don't get too close though, it's hot."

He nods his head once and drops his hands to his dies, watching the small flame dance on the lighter before you blow it out and place it back in your pocket.

"Where did you find such a magnificent contraption?" He asks once it's out of sight, looking down at you with curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

"I, um... made it." You think it best to lie, though he doesn't appear to fall for it, and change the subject. "So, how about that weather we're having?"

Your sudden and shitty subject change makes him raise an inquisitive eyebrow, but after a moment he starts to laugh, "Yes, the night sky's are very clear tonight. As it should be the morrow after a raging battle."

It's strange and none too awkward since you're no good at this, but this normalcy actually almost makes you forget all the shit you've seen up until now.

"I would very much like to see you again." He says suddenly when the conversation dies down and you both just stand there in silence.

You look back up at him and offer a small smile, repeating softly, "Sure. I'd like that as well. But I'm still here, so we don't have to talk about later just yet, right?"

"I suppose not." He reaches down and grabs your right hand gently, raising it up while he also leans down, then he presses a feather soft kiss to the middle of the back of your hand.

Eomer looks up at you while he does so, and you find that your face has begun to heat up once more.

When he doesn't move to stand normally and continues to look up at you expectantly, you ask uncertainly, "Am I supposed to kiss your hand too, or...?"

It seems you're quite the comedian to this guy, for he stands up straight again and bursts into joyful laughter, reaching down to pat your shoulders, "No no, but if you wish to offer me one somewhere else then I would not deny it."

People in this place really waste no time beating around the bush, though you suppose they can't afford to waste much time when things like the Battle at Helms Deep happen every so often.

There are murderous orcs everywhere and danger at every turn for them nowadays, do you actually feel a sense of appreciation for his forwardness.

This time you find yourself laughing too, and you readily reply, "Maybe next time, Lord Eomer. We only just met, you know. I could be trying to steal a place in the royal line, for all you know."

His smile does not waver despite your warning against yourself, for he only shakes his head and squeezes your shoulders gently, "No, such motives always make themselves clear early on. Unfortunately for me, you're honest."

"Unfortunately?"

"Unfortunate for my heart, yes."

#eomer x reader #Eomer of Rohan #lotr eowyn #lord of the rings #lotr #reader insert #reader #lotr fandom #lord of the rings fanfiction #romance #fluff #humor #awkwardness

157 notes · View notes

paradoxcase · 4 years ago

Text

Something that isn’t really communicated well in the movie when they are speaking to Saruman at Orthanc after the Ents have destroyed Isengard is that Saruman’s voice is actually magic, and he casts spells by speaking that make people agree with and believe him, and also distrust people who contradict him. In fact, this whole chapter in the book is called “The Voice of Saruman” and there’s a lot of description of his voice having an effect on the Rohirrim who came with Gandalf and Theoden to meet with Saruman, they are even verbally agreeing with what he says in some places despite just having fought the battle of Helm’s Deep where Saruman clearly tried to wipe them all out with a huge army of orcs. There’s some tension in that until they speak you’re not really sure that the regular normal people like Eomer and Theoden are going to resist Saruman’s spell and there’s even a time when it’s not entirely clear if Gandalf is under the spell or if he’s just given Theoden his space to say his piece. They do make his voice a little echoey in the movie, but I think there’s no real good way to portray what was described in the book.

Most of the dialog is straight from the book in this scene, until Gandalf starts asking Saruman for intel and Saruman pulls out the Palantir and starts talking about some new evil thing that Sauron has planned in very vague terms, but before he can actually say anything useful he’s killed by Wormtongue. None of that happens in the book at all, Gandalf is actually pretty well informed about everything that’s happening at this point, before meeting with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli he had just got back from a grand tour with Gwaihir the Eagle and seen a lot of stuff from the air, he also communicated telepathically with Frodo when he was at Amon Hen, etc. It’s also not true at all that Saruman is “deep in the councils of the Enemy” as movie!Gandalf puts it, Sauron consistently hide shit from Saruman and Saruman doesn’t have any real idea what he’s doing. The movie seems to imply that Saruman gets some insight into Sauron’s mind via the Palantir, but this is not how it works in the book. And, as far as I remember, the movie never follows up on this and reveals whatever evil thing Saruman was talking about here, when it’s made to seem like it’s actually important. Are we meant to take away from this that Saruman was bluffing? Saruman and Wormtongue also do not die here, and actually reappear in the story at a later date, but I guess Peter Jackson didn’t want to include that part of the story and didn’t want to leave everyone wondering what happened to Saruman, so he included this little drama with Wormtongue. In the book, Saruman simply slinks back inside after Gandalf breaks his staff.

In the movie, Saruman’s first words to Gandalf are to accuse him of wanting the keys to Orthanc, Barad-dur, and the staffs of five Istari. Which is kind of weird, because Gandalf hasn’t said anything yet, and also, this makes it sound like Saruman is accusing Gandalf of asking Saruman for these things, which makes no sense, since Saruman can’t give Gandalf most of that stuff anyway. But this is a line of dialog from the book, it’s just been taken out of context. What happens in the book is that Saruman first tells Gandalf he should ditch Theoden, basically telling him that he is too good to associate with the likes of the Rohirrim (this is the context where he describes the people of Rohan as brigands and ruffians, which in the movie is used to trigger Wormtongue’s reaction) and asks him to come up into the tower so that they can work together. To which Gandalf tells him that he won’t come up, but if Saruman comes down and surrenders the keys to Orthanc and his staff Gandalf will let him go free wherever he wants, and won’t sic the Ents on him, etc. It’s at this point that Saruman accuses Gandalf of wanting all five staffs, and the keys to Orthanc and Barad-dur, which makes total sense, since Saruman is working off of the assumption that Gandalf wants similar things to what he wants. Saruman also addresses Gandalf as Greyhame in the movie, which is odd because Greyhame is specifically just the name of Gandalf in Rohirric (modernized, because Rohirric is supposed to be essentially Old English). Perhaps we’re meant to connect this to when Theoden called Gandalf Greyhame when he was possessed by Saruman, as if it were an insult of some sort, but it actually just means grey-cloak, it’s not a pejorative at all. There’s also no real reason to think Saruman might be speaking Rohirric here, as opposed to Westron, especially since at least Merry, Pippin, Legolas and Gimli probably don’t know any Rohirric.

In the book, the Palantir is thrown down by Wormtongue, who may have been aiming for Saruman and may have been aiming for Gandalf. What’s interesting about this is that the previous day, the Ents did their utmost to destroy Orthanc, but although they managed to destroy a lot of the surrounding stuff in Isengard they were not able to really do any damage to Orthanc because Orthanc is Super Magical. But when Wormtongue threw the Palantir, it crashed down and actually destroyed the stairs, which the Ents were not able to touch. Unlike in the movie, when it has at this point been shown being used multiple times, in the book we don’t yet even know what the Palantir does. There was a reference very early in the Fellowship to a seeing stone that the Elves use, but it is in no way connected yet to this thing that Wormtongue threw.

#lord of the rings #lotr #saruman #gandalf #palantir

6 notes · View notes

poetictrekkie · 6 years ago

Text

Holiday Headcanons for the Voyager Crew

Kathryn Janeway:

As Voyager’s captain, it is Janeway’s responsibility to organize holidays for the crew.

But Christmas is her personal favourite.

The ship’s crew definitely has the fondest memories of their captain during this holiday.

She takes it upon herself to give presents to each department, and all the children on the ship.

And though she hasn’t got the best voice in the world, she’ll be singing Christmas carols with a cup of spiked eggnog in her hand.

The holidays, unfortunately, result in Kathryn’s cooking efforts multiplying.

Chakotay has had to stomach too many of her homemade fruitcakes.

Of course, he lies through his teeth when asked how it tastes.

Sometimes, he uses the excessive stickiness of the cake as an excuse not to reply.

But as much as she enjoys the side of Christmas that involves getting together, she loves spending Christmas Eve in her quarters, looking out at the perpetually starry sky and thinking that it looks like winter flurries in space.

It’s also the time when she’s homesick the most.

For the real Christmas tree that Mark would chop down and bring home every year.

For Mollie’s little Santa hat, that would always fall off ten seconds after Kathryn wrangles it onto her.

And for the snow. Always the snow.

Chakotay:

Chakotay has never been one to celebrate the holidays with anything other than a glass of spirits by the fireplace.

However, as first officer and former captain of the Maquis, he feels an obligation to join the yearly festivities.

He’s always been responsible for putting up the Christmas tree in the mess hall.

Each year, he decorates it exquisitely.

He saves up replicator rations for ornaments.

If he doesn’t have as many as he wants, he’ll get the kids to make decorations themselves.

The Borg children always make incredible paper snowflakes, and give some as gifts to Chakotay.

He also makes sure to attend the celebrations for each holiday. From Hanukkah, to Kwanzaa, to the Orthodox Christmas in January, he’ll always be there.

He takes it as an opportunity to learn about the different cultures of Earth – something he’s always been fascinated by as an amateur anthropologist.

Most of all, the holidays are a time for Chakotay to spend time with his Voyager family, and reflect upon his journey in life so far.

Tuvok:

Whenever the holiday season comes around, Tuvok has a habit of receding into his quarters to escape the noise and bustle.

However, he likes to join the crewmen who are celebrating Hanukkah.

There’s something very beautiful and meditative about the nightly celebrations: the lighting of the menorah, the songs and prayers.

The crewmen always welcome him to join them each year, and teach him how to pronounce the prayers in Hebrew.

Tuvok has also displayed a surprising talent for Hanukkah cooking.

His sufganya are all eaten within ten minutes of him setting the plate down on the table.

And he’s tested out recipes for latkes with Vulcan flavours, like plomeek or gespar.

After the festivities, Tuvok will often meditate by the menorah.

The messages that Hanukkah brings, like faith and standing up for what you believe in, guide him through his nightly meditations during the holiday seasons.

Tom Paris:

Tom has an annual Christmas tradition of wearing antlers and a red nose while at the helm.

He thinks of himself as Rudolph driving Santa’s sleigh.

He calls Captain Janeway “Captain Santa Claus” for the whole day.

He calls Commander Chakotay “Commander Mrs. Claus” for the whole day.

Neither of them are amused.

Tom also loves to help decorate the ship and organize the Secret Santa exchange.

One time, he hung mistletoe right over Tuvok’s station on the bridge.

Needless to say, all the ensigns coming to hand in reports to their superior officer couldn’t decide if they were more amused or terrified.

He also organizes holodeck events leading up to and on Christmas Eve.

Holiday karaoke.

Sleigh races.

Holiday-themed movie nights.

But the event that Tom will be remembered for the most was the Starfleet vs. Maquis snowball fight.

It was brutal, incredible, and a ton of fun.

However, he’ll never go near B’Elanna if she’s holding a projectile made of snow – holographic or otherwise. His lesson has been learned.

Harry Kim:

Harry loves the holidays. If every day could be a holiday, he would not mind one bit.

Loves everything about them: the food, the gifts, the time spent with his friends.

Harry always gives his close friends homemade presents that he’s spent months working on.

One year, he gave Captain Janeway a framed photo collage of the crew, which she hung on the wall of her office.

And Kes was surprised when he presented her with a jar of homemade preserves made from the fruits grown in Airponics.

She was even more surprised when it turned out to be delicious.

Harry is also responsible for starting the annual Seollal (Korean New Year) celebration.

He’s adapted a few of the traditions for the Voyager crew.

After a ritual meal, the younger generations of the family pay respect to their elders by taking a deep bow called sebae. Then, the elders offer their blessings and wishes for a prosperous year.

For this tradition, Harry has replaced the younger generations with the junior officers, and the elders with the senior officers.

He also taught both the children and adults on the ship traditional games played during this time.

It always gives him a sense of pride to see his Voyager family celebrating traditions that he has observed since his childhood.

B’Elanna Torres:

Christmas is the one day when B’Elanna’s human and Klingon sides stop warring in her head.

In fact, it’s a day when B’Elanna reflects on her happy childhood memories, celebrating Christmas with her Mexican family.

While B’Elanna might be a little too old for the Christmas pinata, she always sets one up for the children, filled with candy canes, chocolates, and lollipops.

She always asks Kes to grow lilies a month or so before Christmas, so she can decorate her quarters with them.

Sometimes, she gets a melancholy, nostalgic feeling when she smells the lilies first thing on Christmas morning.

But she never cries… alright, maybe once.

B’Elanna also likes to make farolitos, intricately designed paper lanterns made from brown bags, with her friends.

She once made one in the shape of the ship’s warp core.

She’ll invite some of the senior crew a few days before Christmas to make lanterns and share food.

It’s one of her favourite nights of the year, when they string up the lanterns that they made together and place little lights inside.

The Doctor:

When it comes to the holidays, if there’s an excuse to sing, the Doctor is all for it.

And with all the carols being sung at Christmastime, the Doctor is kept content for the entire day.

He’ll organize the musically talented officers in a holiday band, and they’ll perform for the entire crew on Christmas Eve.

Unfortunately, the Doctor does sometimes get a little busy during Christmas.

After the infamous snowball fight, he spent his entire night treating minor injuries.

But all in a day’s work for the EMH, even on Christmas.

He loves learning about all the different human traditions during the holidays.

Since he doesn’t have to eat as a hologram, the Doctor always has tons of replicator rations saved up.

And he gets all his friends slightly extravagant presents.

But Seven really did like the necklace he got her one year.

All in all, Christmas is a time that the Doctor is thankful that he has such good friends.

Tom is proud to say that the Doctor has never once made a snide remark to him on Christmas.

Seven of Nine:

The holidays are a time for Seven to reconnect with her humanity and the traditions she used to celebrate.

She spends plenty of time with the Borg children, and gets them all gifts for Christmas.

The year she gave Mezoti a miniature chemistry kit was one of her successes.

And the Doctor insists that she sing a Christmas carol or two.

But it’s also a time with more socializing than necessary.

Excessive socializing is irrelevant.

And exhausting.

There’s a yearly tradition on Voyager, that one of the crew members will be drawn randomly to turn on the lights on the Christmas tree and give a toast.

And Seven, of course, is selected one year.

She’s never been more terrified in her entire existence.

She spends the entire lead-up to the holidays agonizing over her speech.

But in the end, Seven manages to make a very poignant toast.

“To my second family on Voyager: I thank you for showing me that resistance is not as futile as the Borg had me to believe. The values of your holidays – love, forgiveness, togetherness – capture the essence of all that you have taught me.

Kes:

Kes is always very busy in the lead up to the holidays.

The Airponics gardens are positively overflowing with poinsettia and holly, and whoever comes inside will comment that it’s already beginning to look like Christmas!

She also grows the mistletoe herself, a plant that is highly in demand by the couples onboard Voyager.

It doesn’t take telepathy to know who’s in a relationship that year, depending on who comes in to pick up a sprig or two of mistletoe.

Kes often helps Neelix with the holiday parties.

She has a flair for baked goods, and her gingerbread with Airponics-grown ginger is always a hit during the Christmas party.

When it comes to giving presents, you can be sure that Kes will be delivering flowers to all her nearest and dearest.

The Christmas season is also the time of year that Kes is on the receiving end of the most elf jokes.

One year she decides she’s had enough, and dresses up like one of Santa’s elves for the entire Christmas day.

The kids absolutely love it.

So do the other officers, but they’re better at hiding it.

It’s actually kind of adorable.

And that’s how Kes has now made it an annual tradition to dress like an elf on Christmas.

Neelix:

As morale officer, the holidays are Neelix’s time to shine.

And what other holiday does Neelix love better than Prixin?

Right answer: no other holiday.

He always puts a lot of effort into the Prixin festivities, because he loves sharing the traditions of his people.

It also makes him feel just a little less homesick for Talax.

But in regards to the other holidays, he loves them too.

Especially Christmas. Christmas is definitely Neelix’s second favourite holiday.

He’s always planning fun things for the kids and crew alike.

And the cooking… Neelix makes more food on Christmas than on any other day.

No one could quite forgive him for adding leola root to the turkey stuffing, though.

But one year, Neelix is absolutely swamped with work. And they’re running low on food reserves.

So he suggests a potluck dinner for Christmas.

The potluck is such a hit that Neelix begins to do it every year.

The only downside is the amount of dishes that Neelix has to clean at the end of the night.

#star trek #star trek voyager #star trek headcanons #star trek imagines #captain janeway #kathryn janeway #chakotay #commander chakotay #tuvok #commander tuvok #tom paris #harry kim #b'elanna torres #kes #neelix #seven of nine #the doctor #headcanons

395 notes · View notes

hopelesstvaddict · 6 years ago

Text

A Case for Boromir

There is never enough praise for Boromir so here are some thoughts :

First and foremost, he’s not a villain. He was never portrayed as much. His character served as a living example of the destructive power of the Ring.

He was a good man, good-natured with plenty of qualities.

He was a skilled warrior with good experience in leadership. Among the members of the Fellowhip, he was probably the one who was the most versed in the art of commanding men, strategy and battle planning, having done it for most of his life. He would have been a formidable asset during the Battle at Helm’s Deep or at the Pelennor Fields.

He is most probably familiar with Gandalf already since Faramir says he took lessons with him when he was younger.

Boromir starts off as a very skeptical man, hesitant to trust other races for his own fate and the fate of Gondor. That’s because he was always alone in defending both Osgiliath and Minas Tirith against Mordor; they never got any help from anyone and they were left to fend for themselves essentially. That certainly takes a toll on the mind. Plus, Mordor was literally their neighbour so the Gondorians must feel a little pressured. That probably hardened him to the point of second-guessing everything and being just a tad cynical.

As a result, Boromir has learned that he can only rely on himself in life BUT at the same time, his role as a commander implies that he bears responsibility for the men he leads. See the contradiction here ? And Boromir must have lost countless men.

That’s how he knows how Frodo must feel after Gandalf’s death and why he tries to tell him not to blame himself. He has been there before. Countless times. Not to say that the others haven’t - Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli probably have lost friends too - but Boromir probably was the one who had the most experience in death and mourning because he was a leader of dozens of men. That’s also why he begs Aragorn to let the Hobbits rest and mourn right after they exit Moria. He has been there before.

His military background also makes him practical and quick thinking. After Gandalf falls, he is fast in retrieving the Hobbits and forcing them to move on - while Aragorn is still in shock - because he knows that seeing men die does not mean those who still live are safe. He only thinks of mourning once they're out of Moria when he thinks they're safe - which Aragorn points out is not the case.

Speaking of the Hobbits, he loves them so much. Merry and Pippin especially. Perhaps because he feels they’re the ones that need protecting most. And that speaks about Boromir’s character so much. He takes it upon himself to teach them basic swordfights - meaning he’s a patient man. He probably has done this before.

He would have been good with children.

He loves too much in general but he has had to learn not to show it.

And like mentioned beforehand, he was a skeptical man at first but he gradually has to change his mind and learn to respect, value and rely on the others as they are all forced to do. His mind opens gradually and he accepts that he can count on others in life.

This is perhaps Boromir's first real adventure that's completely different from the military campaigns and battles that he is familiar with. As he goes through this journey and is forced to rely on this group of strangers, he can't help but appreciate them more and more and admire them for skills and resilience he didn't think they could necessarily have.

He is an honorable man. He doesn’t like to lie and tries to speak the truth whenever possible. When Denethor sent him to the Council, he was not willing to go and it was Denethor who put the idea of using the Ring for good in his mind and to bring it to Minas Tirith. So he went to the Council and joined the Fellowship with kind of a double purpose - because if we’re being honest, he was all about protecting the city so his joining a quest he doesn’t really believe in and leaving the defense of his beloved city to ... ? “Ah baby brother will take care of it, Father will be so happy about it” - anyway, a double purpose, but he was never really ok with it. Thus why he kept suggesting going to Minas Tirith so that maybe the others would agree and then he’d feel better about it. Not the best way to cope with secrets and lies, but hey, he was only human. Headcanon that the more he travelled with the Fellowship, the more he became against the idea. Basically he struggled with this internal conflict during the whole time he traveled with them.

But the pressure from his father was too much so that’s why he could never go against his wishes. I’m not going to dwell very long on the relationship between Denethor and his sons because he loved them for sure, but the pressure he put on both was detrimental to their mental states.

He loved his brother to bits. Above anything else. Always defended him against his father and called his father out when he judged he was being too harsh.

Though his father was the prominent parental figure, Boromir didn’t take after him and grew into his own person and had the sense of loving both his father and brother even though his family was completely dysfunctional.

They lost their mother when they were very young. They had to grow up very fast and the hard way. They had no choice but becoming men before their time, no choice other than becoming strong, brave and valiant.

His whole relationship with Aragorn. He never disliked the man. At first, his initial reaction is totally understandable - I mean, when you think about it, you’ve been fighting your whole life for your city on your own, you’ve probably learned when you were younger that your role as Steward was to wait for the King to return ONE DAY but that said King has never appeared in what? Centuries? And then, a stranger is suddenly revealed to be that King ? Are you really going to say ‘Well, here are the keys to the kingdom” ? No. Of course you’d be wary of the whole situation. He needs to judge and feel the man before making a decision. His very nature called for that reaction.

But he doesn’t stick to that view. Like I said, he is not close-minded. His journey with Aragorn shows him that yes, the man is capable, a good man, a skilled warrior and a potentially great leader of men. That’s why he comes to bond with him - or at least tries to - about Gondor and the strength of men. Because he thinks that Aragorn would do well with his role. He sees this, and Aragorn, though he respects Boromir, doesn’t want/isn’t ready to assume the role he is meant to have and that frustrates Boromir because he knows what Aragorn can be. He doesn’t realize that Aragorn has been raised by Elves who are a little more on the downside when it comes to what the race of Men can still do and bring to the world. So he is honest with him and tells him in his face - “I know you’re more than up to the task but you refuse to see it yourself, wake up man”.

I think what’s potentially even more frustrating to him is that in Aragorn, Boromir probably saw a kindred spirit with whom he could share the burden of taking responsibilities in wartime. Headcanon that though Boromir was the most skilled warrior between him and Faramir, he sometimes was just like his brother and dreamed of peacetime and retiring quietly to sit back and enjoy life. Headcanon that he sometimes suffered little bouts of semi-depression when the pressure of war and the pressure from his father became too much and headcanon that with Aragorn, he thought “maybe this is someone who can understand what I’m going through and who can help me, share the pain with me and maybe ease it". Split the leadership if you will. And when Aragorn refused he felt rejected and that he was alone after all.

He feels alone - yes he has his brother - but he has lost too many men and too many friends and he has had to learn to harden himself but he feels alone.

He is blunt and a bit tactless. Not at all like his brother who handles wording a bit better than him.

He has hope for Men because as a leader of men and a captain, if you don’t have hope, that’s just not going to work so he just HAS TO cling on hope; otherwise what’s the point ? And then, of all people, the potential King throws it back in his face that no, he personally doesn’t hold any hope for the race of Men. Like OK...

And even with that, when the Fellowship breaks apart, he has already decided that Aragorn would be his captain and King. That’s not just some redeeming words uttered just for the sake of peace of mind. He really meant them and he’d probably come to that conclusion at some point before Parth Galen. Headcanon that had he lived, he would have become that annoying voice that whispered to an increasingly amused Aragorn “King”. OK maybe not.

He was burdened all of his life by having to protect his people. Because that’s what he wanted to do first and foremost, to fulfill what he felt was his duty. And because his father put immense pressure on him. All his actions stemmed from this desire to protect.

The Ring took advantage of these deep insecure feelings, the pain and the fear of having to defend Gondor alone, the pressure from his father and turned it all against him.

He still realized right after, when his madness spell was over, that he had made a grave folly and he tried to redeem himself by fighting hard for Merry and Pippin.

The man was strong as hell. Two arrows in and he still had the strength to get back up and fight some more. That’s how powerful a warrior he was. His prowess on the battlefield was a known fact among Gondorians and that extended to the Rohirrim as well, with Eomer praising him highly. Can you imagine if they had met?

#lotr #boromir #lord of the rings #aragorn #the lord of the rings #yes i rewatched #and i have a lot of thoughts #but i love boromir ok #lotr headcanon #tolkien headcanon #jrr tolkien #tolkien #middle earth #gondor #faramir #frodo #frodo baggins #denethor #text

1K notes · View notes

lawyernovelist · 8 years ago

Text

The Battle of Helm’s Deep

Another in my occasional spontaneous-shredding-of-specific-scenes series! And this time, just for a change, I'm going to talk about the Lord of the Rings movies.

So I was thinking about warped perceptions of masculinity and their subversion in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit combined with their embodiment in the changes made in the corresponding movies. Then I thought about the movies' presentation of the Battle of Helm's Deep. Then I got really angry.

Spoilers for Lord of the Rings (book and movies) and the Hobbit movies. Passing talk of child soldiers.

Now, this isn't going to be a book-fan!rage, they-changed-it-so-it-sucked thing. I have problems with the changes they made, but not just because they're changes but because they fundamentally change aspects of the story, the tone, the world, and the characters. That having been said... I am going to address the fact that it was fine the way it was.

My main impression when I went to watch it again is that this sequence is long. To be fair, it's spaced out a lot because it's interspersed with other plots, but it still occupies most of the second half of the film, at least in my Extended Edition.

Yeah, unlike the Hobbit movies, I did jump on the Extended Editions for the Lord of the Rings movies. I'm basing my comments on those unless I state otherwise (and I did check - in all cases where I ask why a scene wasn't cut, it was present in the theatrical edition).

Anyway, the battle doesn't actually take a lot of time in the book; it's a pretty major setpiece, but at the same time it's not one that Tolkien actually thought was that important; he once commented that it should be cut to make room if necessary. However, I do actually get this - not only do we need an action climax for the movie, but there's the other plots to consider; in the book, it occurs in a single sequence, not interspersed with anything.

Now, I've talked before about interspersing major action setpieces with other scenes. Specifically, it was Thorin's death scene in Battle of the Five Armies, which was cut with Legolas' combat with Bolg. The thing is that this is actually a different proposition: instead of cutting between two very similar action scenes (both single combat in similar terrain), this is cutting between the preparations for and progress of the major battle and more restful scenes:

Events in Rivendell with Elrond and Arwen

Frodo and Faramir

Merry, Pippin, and the Ents

Of these, the most common one is the Entmoot sequence, which has a very different tone to the battle. this means that it's a relief from the high adrenaline of the battle and allows that high to be sustained for longer. I know some people find it annoying that we keep cutting back to the boring scenes, but I disagree - I think it's actually a pretty good way of breaking up what would otherwise be very over-intense.

So that was a very positive beginning for something I said annoyed me so much. Now we get less positive: While I get that we needed an action setpiece as a climax and The Two Towers might otherwise have ended up a touch thin, I still thought that there was way too much fluff around this battle, much of it clearly there to ramp up the tension and add fake conflict where none was really needed.

The biggest, most glaring fake conflicts were the confrontations between Aragorn and Theoden and Aragorn and Legolas before the battle. Both of these were largely pointless and served mostly to make Aragorn look like the only person who hasn't completely given up and emphasise that THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND YOU SHOULD CHEER WHEN IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE NOT ALL GOING TO DIE.

First, some background. Gandalf has freed Theoden from being possessed by Saruman and they've decided to all go and hole up in Helm's Deep as a compromise between Gandalf's insistence that Theoden should ride out and meet Saruman's forces head-on (with Aragorn backing him up) and Theoden's determination to avoid open war. On the way, we have a random action scene with warg-riders and Aragorn is left for dead. This serves two purposes:

Love Triangle

Allowing Aragorn to see Saruman's army and bring news of its approach

This is where we then stand at the beginning of Unnecessary Confrontation Round 1: Aragorn v Theoden.

Now, we're actually in for a bit of a treat with this one: it's the only time Theoden actually seems to be optimistic about their chances. He's showing Our Heroes his great ancestral fortress and talking about how it will never fall while men still defend it, and how Saruman's army will break upon it like water on rock; no matter what they do in the way of pillaging and burning the countryside, the people of Rohan will endure.

I actually rather like that speech, by the way. It's nice to see this side of Theoden's bloody-minded Saxon worldview.

But we can't have nice things, so Gimli immediately casts doubt on Theoden's assertions in one of his few dignified moments in the whole sequence, pointing out that the Uruk-hai are better-armoured and well-disciplined. Theoden cites his own experience and knowledge of the keep, and continues the tour, finishing the speech I mentioned. Once again, one of Our Heroes attempts to shoot him down, and this is where Aragorn v Theoden begins:

[Thoeden is walking away and Aragorn calls after him]

Aragorn: They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people down to the last child.

[Theoden walks back towards Aragorn and grabs his arm]

Theoden: What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance.

[Theoden starts to walk away]

Aragorn: Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid.

Theoden: And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead.

Aragorn: Gondor will answer.

[Theoden puts his face up to Aragorn's and speaks angrily]

Theoden: Gondor? Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell? Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us? Where was Gon--? [Pauses. More calmly] No, my Lord Aragorn. We are alone.

First, what do you people have against good morale? I get that realism is important, but Theoden has a point: his people are already frightened, why announce loudly that they're all doomed and that this fortification they're relying on is incapable of protecting them as their king claims? You're standing among people who are about to have to rely on Theoden to lead them in war; why undermine him this way? At least when Gimli said his piece it was in a low voice and a relatively private setting. First Gandalf, now Aragorn, will you people leave Theoden any authority?

But Theoden doesn't get away from this in one piece either because of the level of pissing he puts into his insistence that they were not going to send for help.

I really don't get why he has such a hang-up about this. In the book it made sense that they never sent for help: time was much tighter. In the book Theoden and co. arrived at Helm's Deep with the enemy almost on their tails. It was impossible to send for help. In the movie they seem to have plenty of time, and certainly the movie acts like Aragorn's not an idiot on a practical level for suggesting sending to Gondor (several days' journey, by the way - the movie might not have acted it, but Aragorn was being an idiot). What's more, "that's a waste of a rider; they'd not get here in time" isn't Theoden's argument. His argument is "Well, they're not already here, so evidently they don't care about us".

Look, uh... Theoden. Honey. Sweetie. How the hell are they going to know you need help if you refuse to tell them?

And that goes double for later when you suggest you're going to refuse to ride to Gondor's aid on the grounds that they never came to help you. You didn't ask. You explicitly and angrily refused to ask. Twit.

Actually, I'm not done. Theoden's specific remark on the subject of whether Rohan will ride to Gondor's aid is "Tell me, why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?"

First, says the canon nut, you owe Gondor your kingdom. This was the deal when Cirion and Eorl swore that oath and the land that is now Rohan was given to your ancestors: you would defend the northern border and help Gondor in its wars. Wilt thou prove thyself faithless in the test, Theoden King?

Second, the point I already made: you didn't ask Gondor for help; you didn't even tell Gondor you needed help. They somehow knew, but that made no sense either.

Third: is that really how you decide whether or not you're going to help stop a world-destroying evil, you selfish waste of skin?

The use of Boromir is highly appropriate here.

But really, Movie, tell me why I'm supposed to hate Thranduil, but not Theoden? Thranduil tried not to get involved because he valued the lives of his own people. Theoden apparently just didn't see what was in it for him.

Back on target, back on target. But dammit, the movies just made me hate cavalry grandpa. I'm angry.

But the basic purpose of this was to inject some conflict (where conflict is defined as characters arguing) and make Aragorn look good at Theoden's expense. And, incidentally, characters arguing can be a pretty good way of injecting conflict. It's certainly better than random action scenes for no reason.

For example, this scene:

youtube

in which Aragorn and Boromir argue about the route is actually pretty good. It's understated, it plays into and develops their characters, and it's a reasonable disagreement in context (as shown by the fact that it's also there in the book). But one of the things I like best is that, especially in context, both these men have fair points. Aragorn has been presented as shying away from his responsibilities, especially vis-a-vis Gondor, so Boromir has a point, and Aragorn does have reason to worry about taking the Ring to Gondor, however he might feel about going there himself.

This argument scene is not good. It's not out of character, but it is a poor setting for this conversation and it's not a reasonable disagreement. As I've mentioned above, Aragorn is making an insane suggestion, while Theoden is making a reasonable attempt to keep morale up. However, the framing indicates that we're supposed to find Aragorn reasonable and think Theoden is being unreasonable - this is highlighted by the fact that later reinforcements do arrive, contradicting Theoden's claim that the old alliances are dead.

Oh, I have a lot to say about the elves, believe me. And one of the things I'm going to say is about those "old alliances".

Anyway, that's why I say that this is a fake conflict and a manufactured confrontation: there's no need for this argument except to try to keep things tense and to make Aragorn look good when later his hope is proved correct and they do indeed get reinforcements, contrary to Theoden's - not entirely unreasonable - assumption that they had been abandoned to fight alone.

Theoden, however, at least has fatalism as a character trait. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that's his major defining feature: before every battle, you can find Theoden talking about how they're all going to die. And I actually don't mind that most of the time (though he can be pretty clumsy about how he does it). It's actually an interesting philosophy: If death is inevitable, let's go out with a bang. It's also there in the book, and something that in the book he shares with the other major Rohirric characters. The best example is Eowyn, who for a lot of her time would like nothing better than the glorious death in battle her menfolk aspire to. This is clearly a major part of Rohirric culture and it's useful context for her actions.

So the drumbeat of "It's all hopeless and we're all going to die" does make any sense at all coming from that direction. However, that doesn't mean it's not overplayed, especially since it comes from multiple directions. Over and over, we get to hear about how it's all hopeless and they're all going to die, and after a bit it starts to not only be repetitive but to undermine itself. It's almost a dead herring: attempting to provide a red herring by misdirecting the reader/viewer, but overdoing the misdirection so that instead the reader/viewer's attention is drawn to the thing. In this case, insistence that everything's hopeless becomes a transparent attempt to surprise us when things turn out not to be hopeless after all.

But as I said, at least fatalism is in character for Theoden.

After that, we see all the men of Rohan being conscripted, as well as the ten-year-old boys of Rohan, because what you really need in a hand-to-hand battle in cramped quarters is a large number of terrified kids in armour that doesn't fit them, using weapons that are too heavy for them and which they don't know how to use -

yeah, he's going to be a great help - but what do I know? Anyway, in the armoury, in front of all these people, this conversation takes place:

Aragorn: Farmers, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers.

Gimli: Most have seen too many winters.

Legolas: Or too few. Look at them. They’re frightened. You can see it in their eyes.

[The men around them fell silent.]

Legolas (Elvish, subtitled): And they should be. Three hundred against ten thousand?

Aragorn (Elvish, subtitled): They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras.

Legolas (Elvish, subtitled): Aragorn, they cannot win this battle. They are all going to die!

Aragorn: Then I shall die as one them!

[He pauses and then walks away. Legolas makes as if to go after him, but Gimli stops him.]

Gimli: Let him go, lad. Let him be.

I have questions.

Aragorn, where do you of all people get off dismissing anyone's capabilities because they're not a soldier?

Legolas, eat a Snickers or something; where did this come from?

On the subject, Aragorn, at least Legolas stepped into a language that wouldn't be understood by those around him for his prophecies of doom and destruction. What made you think it was a good idea to drop back into Westron and let everyone know you agree they're all going to die?

What made any of you think this was an appropriate place to have this argument?

Why wasn't this scene cut?

So let me go through those in order.

First, Aragorn's comment about these people not being soldiers. I know I was just sneering about kids being conscripted into this army, but I'm not talking about the kids here; I'm talking about the men and older teenagers. Especially, I'm talking about the farmers and farriers, since I'm pretty sure that "stable boys" was meant to refer to younger teenagers and kids.

Aragorn, these people are the ones who survived orc and Dunlending raids. They live a rough existence on this... prairie verging on moorland which somehow produces large horses rather than tough little ponies like this sort of terrain does in real life... and the people you described are ones who are going to be using tools and doing manual work. No, they're not soldiers, but nor are any of you. Do you mean to say that they're not experienced in fortress-based combat? No, but nor are you. Do you mean to say that they're not experienced in combat at all? Well... you actually have no way of knowing that. We see even in the movie that the Rohirrim have enemies other than Uruk-hai. I know for simplicity they had Saruman be the power behind everything, but I don't see a claim that he pulled the Dunlendings out of nowhere. Theoden clearly is an experienced warrior, and clearly does think that this idea isn't insane. I'm not sure where you get off declaring that it is clearly insane.

OK, I'm saying that after the child-soldiers rant, but that's not the part Aragorn's taking exception to, so there.

Yes, Rohan does seem to have an organised (and well-drilled) standing cavalry, and this is not them. You still have no business just dismissing them. No, they're not soldiers. You know who else isn't a soldier? You.

But OK, that's just something that rubbed me the wrong way.

Next, Legolas. Now, movie!Legolas isn't the cheerful, sarcastic elf I liked in the book - in fact, he's a bit short of personality generally in the Lord of the Rings movies - but he never seemed to have a fatalistic streak, and he never does again. This is the first and last time he's concerned about overwhelming odds. This is certainly the first and last time he throws his hands up and declares that this is all going to end in death and failure.

Where the hell does this come from?

Well, it comes from all that stuff I was saying earlier about dinning in about how hopeless this all is, combined with the continuing quest to make Aragorn look good for being the only one who still has any hope. But this means that this argument is actually even worse than the argument between Theoden and Aragorn - this actually is not only pointless and badly placed, but actually is out of character. It's even more of a crappy and contrived conflict.

It's also actually in an even worse setting than Aragorn v Theoden, which brings me on to the third and fourth things.

It's a bad sign when Legolas announcing in Westron that he can see all these people are frightened and then dropping into angry-sounding Sindarin was actually the better-handled side of the argument. At least he was unloading prophecies of doom in a language he could reasonably assume that none of the newly-conscripted civilians (including frightened children) will understand.

Side comment: That's rude, especially since it's not like Aragorn and Legolas are having a side conversation in hushed voices or something - they go to opposite sides of a crowded room and shout at each other - and I really don't know why they don't do this as a side conversation. You could have had the same dialogue:

Aragorn: Farmers, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers.

Gimli: Most have seen too many winters.

Legolas: Or too few.

[Legolas goes out into the corridor. Aragorn follows]

Aragorn: Legolas, what is it?

Legolas: Look at them. They’re frightened. You can see it in their eyes.

[Legolas and Aragorn glance back towards the door, then continue in hushed voices]

Legolas (Elvish, subtitled): And they should be. Three hundred against ten thousand?

Aragorn (Elvish, subtitled): They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras.

Legolas (Elvish, subtitled): Aragorn, they cannot win this battle. They are all going to die!

Aragorn: Then I shall die as one them!

[He pauses and then walks away as Gimli joins them. Legolas makes as if to go after him, but Gimli stops him.]

Gimli: Let him go, lad. Let him be.

See? Way more tactful.

But for some reason this had to be a big public confrontation rather than a private conversation, so at least Legolas was talking so that only his tone of voice could be understood. And then Aragorn, master of diplomacy and public relations, inspirational leader, comes along.

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Well done, dipstick. Way to announce that you agree they're all doomed and going to die.

Finally, why wasn't this scene cut?

No, really; it has no long-term repercussions whatsoever. It doesn't develop Legolas because his behaviours is out of character. It doesn't add anything to the feelings of doom and gloom (if Legolas was the only one saying this, it might have more impact). It actually contradicts what Aragorn seemed to be saying to Theoden.

The one actual bit of new conflict it could have added would be tension between Aragorn and Legolas. And that would have been some solid tension - these two friends now going into battle after this argument, and instead of "Your friends are with you, Aragorn", you could have had a moment where each reflects on the fact that potentially those angry words are the last he'll ever have said to his friend. Or "Your friends are with you" could have been a last-minute patching up, followed not by Gimli making a joke but Aragorn looking at Legolas and them smiling at each other as it's taken as such, with the additional urgency of the upcoming battle and wanting to have their affairs in order.

Instead, the next time we see these two, they patch it up at once with an apology from Legolas and the whole thing disappears.

Now, I'm not being entirely fair, because especially combined with Aragorn v Theoden we potentially do get a couple of things out of all this. The first is the highlighting of Aragorn. I even wondered whether he was being set up as a Cassandra character (a character who is the only one who knows The Truth but is doubted by everyone else, only to be proved right later). I concluded that he's not; he is actually joining in on the doom train, and his only insistence that someone will come to help them relates to Gondor and is conditional. If he were a Cassandra, I'd have expected him to have contradicted Theden's sarcasm about whether elves would come.

However, there is a sense that Aragorn's the only one who hasn't given up - even his "I shall die as one of them" is defiant, not resigned. Theoden's wrong for refusing to send for help despite being told that at least one of the old alliances isn't dead; Legolas is wrong for completely giving up hope. Only Aragorn is right.

That's mostly a feeling, though, just because I have difficulty thinking of reasons for these arguments and conflicts to be there and to be so prominent, especially the one between Aragorn and Legolas. But I do also have another theory for that one, and that's that this is supposed to be the moment that Aragorn embraces humanity.

Let me back up. This is why my example earlier of a good argument scene is extra relevant - the movies have kind of had this vague thing about Aragorn having more of an affinity for elves than humans, and that argument with Boromir is almost the only place where it's made explicit: "You were quick enough to trust the elves; why have so little faith in your own people?". It's a question that Aragorn never really answers. In this conversation it's specific to Minas Tirith, but it is still a question.

I suspect that this may also be connected with his unwillingness to become king, but I don't actually know. However, if this is what's going on, it actually explains a lot:

Aragorn insisting that the Rohirrim will be OK, even if only relatively, when earlier he was telling Theoden that they couldn't rely on Helm's Deep

Aragorn dropping into Westron when he does

The importance placed on that last statement and its tone

The switch in language now becomes symbolic. He's been discussing this in elvish, with an elf, but now he returns to the human language in order to explicitly declare his solidarity with humans. It does actually make sense as a symbolic gesture, and this is why - unlike a lot of mid-conversation language switches in these movies - I actually don't have a problem with the language switch qua language switch.

The apparent switch in optimism can also be explained this way, almost as an "Only I'm allowed to say that about humans!" He'll criticise Theoden, but still take his side when an elf does it, even when that elf is Legolas.

Now, I don't know if this was intentional, but I think it does make sense. However, given that this was apparently Aragorn's big moment of moving away from his elvish upbringing (it's not explicit in the movies that Aragorn was raised as a member of Elrond's household, but given that Aragorn's mother has at least a memorial in Rivendell and Elrond talks as if he knew her well, we can make some assumptions) and embracing his human heritage... it's pretty weird to then have him welcome and stand among their elven reinforcements, isn't it?

Let's talk about those elves. First of all, why? Why was this change made?

Well, here's one theory for which I'm indebted to Thomas Shippey's Road to Middle-Earth: the geopolitical context has changed.

In the book, the men of Rohan (plus Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli) fight this battle alone. They get no help from Gondor, Lothlorien, or anywhere else, and nor do they expect it. They're cornered, they're alone, their enemy may well be stronger than them, and they fight anyway. That's what Tolkien, an Englishman with thoughts of the Nazis marching across Europe, wrote. Lord of the Rings isn't an allegory, but you're not going to look me in the eye and tell me that the events occurring around Tolkien won't have influenced what he wrote.

Fast forward through half a century of NATO. By the time the Two Towers movie rolled around, it was unthinkable to an American audience that the good guys would have to face evil alone. Of course the elves honour their old alliance with men and march to their aid and die in their defence, barely noticed or mourned.

Let me just put my canon-nut hat on for a moment before I dive into this: the elves of Lothlorien didn't have a pact with the men of Rohan. Those two groups had as little to do with each other as possible. I assume all these references to alliance refer to the Last Alliance, but that was with the men of fledgeling Gondor, long before Rohan as a realm was even thought of. Also, I think Lorien was only involved in that because Gil-Galad was, and it was for the express purpose of yanking Sauron out of Mordor, and it was the Last Alliance, with no mention I recall of it being in perpetuity.

But OK, fine. All elves have an alliance with all men, for all fighting of all evil.

Which, now I think about it, fits with that The-Last-Alliance-Is-NATO thing.

Anyway, that's not an entirely unreasonable explanation - can't keep just ignoring those alliances - and I have difficulty coming up with a better one. And I did try; there are lots of changes for the Lord of the Rings that I disagree with but understand: Arwen, Warrior Princess, for example: I get that they wanted to add a female face to the screen, and that they needed to give Arwen a bit more establishment before she turned up to marry Aragorn. I think they went about it the wrong way, but I understand their decisions. I even get why they decided to derail Faramir's character by having him originally decide to take the Ring to Gondor, though I could have some words about what I think of that. However, Movie, I do not understand why you needed to have the elves of Lothlorien come to Helm's Deep. Was it to make up for the fact that Eomer and his forces weren't there (they were in the book), so you needed to bulk out the Rohirrim with something? Well, it's not like you removed the fact that by the time Gandalf arrives with reinforcements (Eomer in the movie, Erkenbrand in the book), the battle had reached a desperate last stand. Just have that.

As a result, we really are left with the meta explanation.

The thing is that this explanation only really works given that change: the movie is the one that made a big fuss about these old alliances existing, so it only has to justify and deal with its own choices. Movie, you made the choice to include the Last Alliance being secretly NATO. You made the decision that Elrond should have decided to abandon Middle-earth and be persuaded otherwise by Galadriel - remind me to come back to that, by the way - and you decided to pretend that this was a one-front-per-antagonist war.

Now, I like showing lots of teamwork and characters working together against a common threat, so you'd think I'd like this change, but that simplification is a major reason that I don't. While Lord of the Rings values working together, it also acknowledges the fact that multi-front wars exist. During the Battle for Helm's Deep, the elves of Lothlorien were fighting for their own survival, not just sitting at home. I acknowledge that you couldn't show that in the movie, but Tolkien didn't show it in the book, he just stated it. And this was fine and understood and real. Part of the desperation of this war was its multi-front nature: for a lot of the time, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. The elves and dwarves have no need to march to war; it's coming to them.

In the movies, there is one front to every war, and anyone who doesn't come to fight on that front is acting from cowardice and apathy.

Juuuust leaving this here real quick.

This is a lack of empathy that suggests that nobody else can have their own problems, and as I suggested there it comes to a head in those bastions of fail, the Hobbit Movies, in which we get to hear about how Thranduil's refusal to fight a dragon and get hundreds of his own people killed for no reason (since there's absolutely no chance of winning that fight) is unpardonable selfishness. Throughout, Thranduil's desire to protect his own people is treated as cowardice and selfishness, and it's made clear by everyone who comes into contact with him that because his people are not the main characters, they're cannon fodder.

That brings me to my next point, and this lack of empathy is where I start moving away from the adaptation thing and into internal problems.

I mentioned that the elves of Lothlorien died unnoticed and unmourned. And I'm pretty sure they all died. Once everyone's inside the keep, the only elf anywhere is Legolas. Aragorn mourns Haldir's death for a moment, but after he's driven away by orcs, you never see him go back to find the body of someone who had had been treating as a friend. To all appearances, after the battle the elves are left for the crows.

Man, who doesn't treat their allies that way?

Again, there's a startling lack of empathy or valuing of these lives that have been lost, implying that the elves are somehow worth less than the humans. This isn't an alliance of equals, it's Real People and their cannon fodder. Note the possessive.

You know, considering the content of Lord of the Rings, the movie adaptation is astonishingly anthrocentric. I was about to say that of the Hobbit movies too, but those aren't anthrocentric, they're Thorin-centric. But to be honest he's not all that culturally or even aesthetically non-human, so I almost count him; it's not like the Hobbit movies didn't go out of their way to make the three dwarves we were clearly supposed to like best look like humans.

Interesting trivia fact, by the way: when making these movies, in order to give some sense of cohesiveness within races and differences between races, they gave them different accents: the idea was that the elves would sound slightly Welsh, the hobbits English (no accounting for Billy Boyd), the dwarves Scottish, and the humans American. It's a nice idea, though it completely ignores the fact that these different races are not cultural and linguistic monoliths. After all, the hobbits are designed to be very English, and Sindarin - the most common Elvish language - is partially based on Welsh. And great chunks of the movies do seem to be aimed towards emphasising the importance of the race with the American accents. Not saying it's deliberate, just saying it's true.

Anyway, I'll take my conspiracy hat back off now and go back to Elrond and Galadriel. This is another very irritating thing about the involvement of the elves at Helm's Deep. And even given that change, it's an entirely unforced irritation.

So for reasons best known to themselves they've decided to write Elrond as having decided to abandon Middle-earth and let men make the best of a bad job. This is probably in order to add tension to the Aragorn/Arwen love story by the time-old method of having her dad oppose the match. Did I mention I hate that cliche? This is a particularly bad example because it so badly derails Elrond's character, as well as in many ways denying the point of the story: yes, there is very little chance of success against Sauron, but even in such a bleak scenario these people still had hope. But nope! Elrond Peredhel, Ringbearer, one of the Wise, has given up and is going to run away.

Anyway, before Helm's Deep, they then illustrate this further by having Galadriel need to persuade Elrond that they shouldn't abandon Middle-earth. And even leaving aside the abandonment thing I just touched on... why the hell does Galadriel need to persuade Elrond of anything?

Seriously, from what we've seen in the movies up to this point, those two have next to nothing to do with each other. What's more, Elrond continues to have no involvement when it comes to Helm's Deep. The only involvement he does have is later bringing Aragorn Anduril, and that was because Arwen persuaded him to because if she's going to die anyway then he might as well do something to help Middle-earth. After all, this means he has to keep a personal stake in its future.

Stay on target, LN.

Anyway, the army that comes to Helm's Deep from the elves is from Lothlorien, not Rivendell. It's led by an elf of Lothlorien, not Rivendell. Why did Galadriel need to persuade Elrond that this was a good idea? If she was persuading anyone, it should have been Celeborn. Heck, by all logic Elrond should have been persuading Galadriel: he's the one with human blood in his veins, he's the one whose foster-son is on the front lines, and she's the one who rules an actual military power.

It might then have made more sense for Haldir to be bringing a message from Elrond about how they came to honour that alliance. Not, by the way, that allegiance. Yes, "allegiance" technically means "Loyalty or commitment to a superior or to a group or cause." (Source), and this can be read as loyalty to a group, but the word "allegiance" is commonly used of something you owe to an overlord of some sort or a group of which you are a member: you swear allegiance to a monarch or a country. It doesn't just mean that you'll keep your word.

But anyway, why is Haldir bringing a message from Elrond when he's Galadriel's subject (he owes allegiance to her and Celeborn, you see)? Especially when it's not like it's something specific for Aragorn or something like that. There was no reason for that.

Now, I do actually have some idea of why this weird little cul-de-sac was put in. What I don't know is why it was kept in.

OK, possibly controversial opinion time. I am so glad they came to their senses and did not have Arwen fighting at Helm's Deep. I already don't like the Arwen Warrior Princess thing they had going on with her, and especially here she and Eowyn would have clashed badly, especially since they just made a big deal of Eowyn having to go to the Caves with the other women.

I know a lot of people are annoyed about this cut and say it's anti-feminist and Arwen would have been so much cooler if we'd got to see her fight, but no. Not the only definition of a strong woman. Not Arwen.

Anyway, Elrond's involvement probably made a lot more sense when his daughter was going to be marching with that army. When she was cut, Elrond's involvement should have been cut. It's not like he contributes anything to the on-screen conversation with Galadriel anyway; she just monologues at him. The main point of this sequence ends up being a plot update.

But the fact that Haldir speaks as if Elrond were his lord and were responsible for sending him when both of those things actually apply to Galadriel annoys me deeply, no matter what the reason. And now I'll just link to the appropriate tags in my various Hobbit Movie scene remixes and move on.

By the way, I'll admit that if Arwen had been with that army then I'd have been better able to see the reason for this change, even if I didn't agree with it.

So I've talked a lot about the setup surrounding the battle, how about the battle? Well, I touched on this a bit when I talked about the length earlier, but short version is that I actually do think the battle itself was fairly well handled. Caveat for almost everything to do with the elves, but once I'm over that a lot of this does work well.

Several different parts of the battlefield, each with characters we've had a chance to get to know

Several different parts of the battle, each with its own threats

We see main characters in real danger

With a couple of exceptions, nobody is stupid

These are all really important aspects of making a battle sequence work, in my opinion, especially combined with breaks. I'll address the first three first because I have more to say about the last one.

First of all, when they're not dinning into us how doomed they all are, the tension is actually pretty good. We get the culvert introduced nice and early and that Saruman has a plan for it, so we know that Helm's Deep isn't impregnable, which actually adds quite enough shadow to the claims that the fortress will never fall while it's defended. That's well handled, and I like it.

Second, the battle itself. When I talked about death scenes, I gave the example of Boromir's death scene and said that one of the things that stopped it becoming monotonous was that it was staged: we see him fighting, he gets struck with one arrow and goes down, but then struggles back up, and every time it gets harder and more painful. It makes the whole scene more interesting than if he'd just been fighting for the same length of time. On a much larger scale, the Battle of Helm's Deep sequence does the same thing: we see the setup for the battle, including the elves arriving. We have the square-off against the Uruk-hai and the beginning of the battle, with archery and fighting on the walls. Then the wall gets blown open and the fighting spreads into the bailey. Meanwhile, there are attacks on the gate and the keep. The keep is broken into and everyone retreats inside, then finally they do their big sortie and Gandalf arrives with Eomer. Each stage comes with its own threats and style of combat, and that keeps the whole thing interesting.

This is actually a great benefit of the setting, incidentally - the structure of Helm's Deep allows for multiple defences to be breached to allow the heroes to be beaten back, and also means there's only one line of assault and therefore the whole thing can stay pretty focussed and linear. This was a problem with - you knew it was coming - movie!Battle of the Five Armies: everything was very confused, and most of the combat was just people hitting each other on the open field.

The different areas also allowed variety in what was happening: we had Aragorn and co. fighting hand to hand on the battlements, we had Rohirric men and boys trying to keep the Uruk-hai away from the gate, we had Theoden overseeing things from a vantage point, at least to start off with, and we also got to see the women and children in the caves. That was another good decision, by the way, and handled well - I didn't think they overdid it. It was enough to remind us of the additional stakes behind the battle without feeling maudlin.

But the other great thing was that throughout we had a named character with whom we had spent some time in every location. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and (arguably) Haldir on the walls, Theoden in the keep, Eowyn in the caves. That then makes the whole thing feel a lot more personal, especially since those characters stayed in the thick of the action, even in Eowyn's case where we just saw her comforting another frightened woman as the Uruk-hai are breaking in up above. Again, contrast that other battle, where all the characters we cared about abandoned the battle as soon as they arrived.

Again, this adds to the stakes - we care about how this battle goes because characters we care about are in danger. And they actually seemed to be in real danger: the impacts feel real, the struggle feels real, the emotion feels real.

When you see that, you feel it. The situation affects the characters, so it affects the audience. I can't say enough how important it is that the characters feel the situation they're in.

Also, by the way, the scale of the whole thing. I went back and rewatched while writing this, and I'm glad I did because I'd forgotten how much use the movie makes of big, sweeping wide shots. Especially since there's a focus on Helm's Deep itself, it feels big. It feels like this is a big, desperate struggle. Also, I think this sequence was helped a lot by the fact that the actors were all actually there. Of course there was CG, but when people are fighting they are actually fighting. These guys actually went and stood on a set in the pouring rain and hit each other and it shows because everything feels so much realer.

I'm going to laser in on a few things in no particular order, then conclude, and this is where I do have to mention those few moments where someone does something clearly stupid.

First: The elves have a commanding officer. He even has a name and doesn't wear a helmet, so you know he's a real character (though, movie, you didn't do Haldir's death scene well. He's not a major enough character to carry the weight, and the extra slow-mo and Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow didn't help). So why is Aragorn giving the orders? Why does Theoden refer to the elves as Aragorn's men? Who the hell is he to the elves of Lothlorien? I could get this if command had devolved to Legolas - he is a Silvan prince so I could buy Silvan elves deferring to him - but why Aragorn?

I know it's because he's the hero, but it doesn't make a lot of sense, and really undermines any kind of solidarity-with-humans thing they might have been going for.

Second: That sally-port will never not be funny. I know that the sequence where Aragorn and Gimli sneak out of a little side door to hold the gate is based on a similar sequence from the book where it's Aragorn, Eomer, and some others, and Gimli tags along, but no matter how many times I see the orcs hammering on the gate and then this little door opens and Our Heros sneak out I still snigger.

I will say, though, that this scene is badass and is actually a genuine moment when a couple of brave men can pull off this kind of incredible battle-turning achievement: they're holding a narrow bridge, so the enemy loses the advantage of numbers.

I do have to give some eyebrow to Theoden yelling at Aragorn and Gimli to get out of there... through a gap in the barricade the size of a letterbox. At that point they're on a suicide mission, Theoden; if they could make it back to their sally-port then the whole thing would have been rendered unnecessary anyway. Though I do get wanting to let them know that the mission has been accomplished. Also, to take a moment's detour back to an earlier point, this would have been another great moment for Aragorn and Legolas to patch things up: they went into battle still with the argument between them, then at this moment Legolas comes to Aragorn and Gimli's rescue and all is well.

Just to hit a favourite comment: Dwarf-tossing joke was unnecessary. Aragorn throwing Gimli into the middle of the orcish army like a grenade filled with axes and fury was admittedly pretty cool.

Third: Space is warped and time is bendable.

Here's an external shot of Helm's Deep:

Note how it's clearly broad daylight, albeit on a cloudy day. Which makes it weird when minutes later Gimli announces that the sun is rising.

Fourth: Pikes. Let me tell you my basic understanding of the trump system of medieval combat. It goes like this:

Cavalry trumps infantry

Massed pikes trump cavalry

Archers trump massed pikes

Obviously, there are variations and exceptions, especially where shields are involved and bearing in mind that if enough horses get past the volleys of arrows and the archers aren't behind stakes, they can turn very quickly into infantry, but that seems to work pretty well as a rule of thumb. Note the position in the pecking order of pikes: above cavalry and infantry, below archers.

So what are you two doing, Aragorn and Gandalf?

Aragorn in particular: what you have there is a large group of archers on slightly higher ground facing a massed group of pikemen crammed into a narrow breach in a wall which is full of water and rubble. What the hell are you doing telling those archers to drop their bows and commence melee combat, thus running onto a pike wall and also getting mired in water and rubble? Stand there and shoot the pikemen until you run out of arrows!

Gandalf (and Eomer, who should know better) then follow this up with a cavalry charge into a pike wall, and I can only give them the tiniest pass because I assume Gandalf knew that the sun would rise and dazzle the orcs at just the right moment. Oh, and one more thing about that...

Fifth: That slope.

Wow, that's terrible footing for horses. I can't think of worse that doesn't involve shards of broken glass or ice. Those horses should be tripping and going head-over-heels the whole way down that hill, not to mention the aforementioned pikes waiting at the bottom.

Sixth: The aftermath scene with Legolas and Gimli. I don't like this scene; not only does it again swap out Legolas' personality to just give him an attitude problem by making him such a sore loser that he'll rather threateningly shoot dangerously near Gimli (between his legs because hi-larious) to 'kill' an orc that was already dead in order to even up the contest, rather than, as in the book, admitting defeat but saying that he doesn't mind because he's so glad his friend came through alive, but they got a very tiny factual detail that would have been very easy to check wrong.

Gimli killed 42 orcs, not 43. Legolas killed 41, not 42.

Fail.

Seventh: Snowboarding Legolas. I'm... torn. On the one hand, it's absurd. It's absurd and I blame it for the rising ridiculousness of Legolas' battle stunts, culminating in his Super Mario impression and attacking Bolg with his crotch.

Yes, it's still funny.

On the other hand it's so damn cool. When I re-watched I was expecting to have a really good sneer at that, but instead I caught myself grinning like a maniac.

And that kind of sums this up for itself: there is so much wrong with this sequence. There is so much that annoys me if I sit down and think about it. But when I watched it I couldn't help thinking how well it's actually done, from the music to the action. And, you know, I think I've gone and talked myself back into liking it again.

#Lord of the Rings #Lord of the Rings movies #The Two Towers #Helm's Deep #Aragorn #Legolas #Theoden

24 notes · View notes

rollertoasteroflife · 8 years ago

Text

These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by @katyaton heyyyyyyy!

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…yeah I don’t know that many people...)

tagging: @deaded123 @showmethestarlight and if anyone that follows me wants to please do but you two are the only ones that actually reply to these things and I can’t be arsed to go through all of my followers when no one does them anyway :D

1. coke or pepsi: coke definitely

2. disney or dreamworks: oh god ummm i love disney cos that was my childhood but dreamworks have done some truly amazing films and they gave me how to train your dragon which i love far more than is probably normal...

3. coffee or tea: *whispers* both definitely both...I drink so much coffee and tea and currently green tea I’m probably 70% hot beverage at this point

4. books or movies: ah fuck. um I have to say finding a favourite book feels so much better than a favourite film but like I literally work in the film industry so I honestly love them too but yeah imma have to say books (that was really difficult D:)

5. windows or mac: windows cos it’s what i know

6. dc or marvel: um I’ve seen more marvel so I’ll say marvel but I’m not particular opinionated on the matter

7. xbox or playstation: I am abysmal at playing games so again not really my question. however i have finally worked out how to use my housemates xbox as a dvd player so woo

8. dragon age or mass effect: I don’t play them

9. night owl or early riser: Permanently tired pigeon here but more of a night owl.

10. cards or chess: Oh god um actually can’t choose because i grew up playing card games and i really love them but i have a massive sentimental personal thing about chess so yeah i can’t choose here

11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate what am I? dumb?!

12. vans or converse: Converse

13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: I do not understand

14. fluff or angst: um in like fic reading or my life?? because my favourite fan fics are often angsty ones but I get wayyyyyyyyyy too emotional about them and yet still tend to read them over fluffy ones. Yet in actual life my life has enough problems please cover me fluffy things i’m tired

15. beach or forest: beach because there’s sea but i fucking love forests so much!!

16. dogs or cats: Cats!! but puppers are great too!!!

17. clear skies or rain: Fucking rain I love rain!!

18. cooking or eating out: I really like cooking it’s what I resort to when I’m having issues with life not working out.

19. Spicy food or mild food: I don’t like massively spicy food but I will fight you over bland food so like somewhere between the two??

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: I only really started doing halloween like a couple of years ago but i do enjoy it (woo for fancy dress) but i do really love christmas!

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: cold definitely i hate the heat. It was 15 degrees c today (59 fahrenheit thanks google) and i was dying and complaining most of the day

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Shapeshifting!!!!

23. animation or live action: Again with the whole job thing, live action but i love animated films too!!

24. paragon or renegade: eh?

25. baths or showers: i shower more often but my house doesn’t have a bath and i really miss it. also currently with my leg injuries i would love a bath because they ache so bad D:

26. team cap or team ironman: umm i don’t know?? I’m not gonna choose sorry

27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy but scifi is awesome!

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so what are they: Presume not that I am the thing I was - Shakespeare Henry V

The planets and heavens will move for you. - this is a quote from a poem @deaded123/ @breathingtheworldinwords wrote for me which is my favourite poem

I am constantly coming across quotes i want ot remember but i never write them down so yeah...

29. youtube or netflix: netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter but am currently working my way through the percy jacksons series which i do enjoy and rick riordan is an awesome human!

31. when you feel accomplished: when i remember how far i’ve come from what i was and how hard i’ve fought to be where i am now. Also I once forgot what happened in a battle on an history exam so proceeded to talk about the battle of helms deep and cut the orcs and elves. I got 100% on that paper. ;)

32. star wars or star trek: star wars......it was my childhood and i love it so much

33. paperback books or hardback books: i do love me a good hardback but my paperbacks have kept me company for a long time

34. horror or rom-com: ummm i’m not great at horror but it depends so i’d probs watch the rom com and just be cynically sarcastic throughout...(the fact that i enjoy rom coms when i’m not great and actual romance annoys myself)

35. to live in a world without literature or music: that is just mean :P but i’d have to chose literature as my life is based around stories

36. pastel colours or dark colours: dark definitely!! other people look aweosme in pastels but i don’t like wearing them and honeslty just feel kind of suspicious of them as a colour group (i have no idea why i have such storng opinions on pastels or why i am suspicious...)

37. tv shows or movies: Tv shows as you go through so much more. Also it suits my attention span better

38. city or countryside: can i have like a town?? i love the countryside but i also need to be around other people or i get very morbid

39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i don’t understand??i’m a leo and honeslty haven’t looked at the others enough to know the traits!

40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: i would currently choose one of sia’s albums as just yes

41. cinema or theatre: cinema because i love films but i do enjoy theatre

42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: hmmmmmmmm i honeslty don’t know as my favs are people like me but being around someone like me as a best friend is kind of an odd thought...pass?

43. smiling or smirking: smiling to me means just being free and comfortable to be happy and smirking in my mind is the silly little in jokes that tyou have with friends in the middle of a conversation or when you’ve thought of something inappropriately funny both of which i do a lot.

44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: all or nothing probably

45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle because i’m too lazy to make playlists

46. travelling or staying at home: Travelling,but i like to have a base somewhere. but yeah i get bored of places easily and am not attached to anywhere as a ‘home’ as a concept i’ve never really got that feeling about anywhere? um it’s hard to explain so i’m just gonna stop cos i don’t know what my point is

47. books or fanfiction: both are literature and they’re both stories and i fucking love stories in all forms! right now i’m reading more fanfiction because when i need to work lets get lost in emotions about fictional characters right?! but seriously i have a bunch of favourite fanfics which i keep rereading and most are novel length so like not much of a difference!

48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: the chronicles of ixia world probably but like god there are so many that i’d want to be in!!

49. your favorite cartoon: um i don’t really watch that many cartoons... cacn i claim the Dragons tv series that accompanies httyd? it’s animated......

50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: um ok so i have a bit of a weird thing about my music in that i don’t like talking about it too much...i’m getting better but yeah i don’t want to answer this :)

51. mountains or plains: Mountains!!!!!!! they give me liiiiiiiiiife

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice is the first anime i’ve watched and honeslty have fallen in love with it and it has ruined my world right now (it’s what my anxieties are currently directed out instead of at my work which i’m cool with) and the only other one i’ve seen is ouran high school host club which i actually watched half of yesterday whilst working as a friend loves it, it’s amusing :)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: err i don’t really do social media much. i have facebook to talk to uni people, a couple of group chats with home people and it’s the only contact i have with my dad’s side of the fam as most don’t live in england but i don’t actually post anything except about work i’ve got donea dn funny photos of my friends. obvs i have tumblr which i overshare about myself way too much but this is probs a very accurate summary of my shit sense of humour, tv shows, and everything else in my head! though i do sometimes get concerned about my oversharing on here cos y’know internet safetyand all D: oh i have snapchat too but i mainly use it to talk to 2 friends one is in germany so i can’t ring her like i used to and the other we pretty much just send each other selfies with a lot of heart emojis! i’ve been debating getting instagram but haven’t decided yet...

54. What are some of your passions:anyone that knows me or reads my frequent oversharing will know i work in costume stuff so yeah i can literally talk about costuming and historic fashions for days and not get bored so yeha don’t ask about that unless you ready to learn!! ;) um i’m also an archery instructor, really love drawing, and just yeah the various tv, film and book obsessions that i go through (currently it’s yoi but i do try and keep my obsession from fully taking ove rthis blog-80% of it is still my shit sense of humour

55. Favourite food: I will fight everyone to get a proper roast dinner with yorkshire puddings and also chocolate.....and pomegranates.....and sugar snap peas......

This was fun!!!

#toasterrambles #katyaton #deaded123 #showmethestarlight

2 notes · View notes