#like your carrying around a toolkit

[peapod20001]

I’m like, 80% sure you’re not supposed to be able to hear the vertebrae in your neck slide around when you move your head, but here I am anyways so

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Donnie Tech Part 1/?

After many moons here are the promised observations of the cartoon shtick logic of Donnie's weapons for season one!! Will link a season two and movie version Eventually, but keep in mind I can't explain in depth how each bit of tech works, rather that I can pinpoint the functions for the visual bit. Keep in mind that Donnie's tech can pretty much do any ridiculous thing you can put your mind to, and that it can also backfire in any ridiculous way you can put your mind to.

Tech Bo:

Collapsible, can become a shorter version of itself easily stored

Shoot a grappling hook AND function as a zip line

Can form a rocket from either end (usually at the same time, resulting in the bo spinning)

Is equipped to be a fire extinguisher

Can shoot out lasers

Has a button that activates the "Shopping Cart Protocol" to lock the Turtle Tank if it goes outside a set perimeter

Top can turn into a rocket powered fist

Turn into a giant drill

Turn into a saw

Turn into a tranquilizer

Turn into a tennis ball shooter

Turn into a selfie stick

Top can turn into a disco ball of "multidimensional reflective orb neutralizer"

Battle Shell:

Has rotary engines (think jet turbine or computer fan) that help him fly around. He calls them "rotors" for short

Can transform into a seat so April can sit on his back

Can split up into a DJ set up in "music mode"

Jet Pack Shell:

His fastest mode of transportation

Not much is shown, but April had a significant difficulty controlling it

Spider Shell:

Has four arms with three fingers

Arms can turn into saws

Has a seemingly endless toolkit inside that includes basic things like hammers and wrenches, but also blowtorches

Goggles:

Has night vision

Can function as binoculars

Is able to summon is tech ("communicates with microwave transceiver with class c encryption protocols")

Read mystic energy signatures after adding the crystal they found in Draxum's lab

Gauntlet:

Has an app that can tap into every security camera in NY

Bug Slapper:

Has a green Mad Dogs sticker on the side

Compacts itself into a metal suitcase and then expand back into a vehicle

So far only uses Big Mama's webbing material as projectiles

Shelldon:

Began as an automated smart lair designed with the intent as a cleaning assistant

Has a "disposal unit" which unlocks several of Donnie's weapons such as: guns, pinchers, drills, and flamethrowers

Can carry at least two turtles (Mikey and Donnie)

Is nicknamed "Cyber Bishop" by Donnie

Uses surfer dude slang: “dude”, “gnarly”, “buzzkill”, “okey dokey”, “dawg”, “you beefed it”, “brohounds"

As a smart lair has clear favoritism towards Donnie until tampered with. As a drone they share more of a familial or pet like relationship, and Shelldon has room to sometimes poke at Donnie's faults as well

In conclusion there's not much to worry about breaking canon, the physics of our reality, or understanding complicated tech and science to write about Donnie's tech. He can do whatever he wants as long as it's silly, overly dramatic, and includes an unnecessary amount of purple guns. His tech bo is especially flexible with breaking the rules even before we get to his ninpo powers.

I'm keeping the Turtle Tank separate, because it also deserves its own post. Happy writing!

[sonamytrash]

A good fuckin' show

Electrician Toji Fushiguro.

Porn trope Toji series, part 1🖤

Warnings: MDNI, Dom!Toji x fem!reader, shameless smut, smut with minimal plot, smut with porno plot, vaginal fingering, eating pussy, eating ass, fisting, squirting, oral sex (m and f receiving), cum swallowing, dirty talk, probably more, not proof read.

I don't know what to say for myself. I got carried away, but there's no way any Toji in any universe wouldn't be this feral. Wrap up, don't let your electrician fist you unless it's Toji. Enjoy you nasty sluts 🖤

Dividers by @cafekitsune

The rain pattered against the windowpane, casting a rhythmic pattern of shadows across the living room carpet. You pull your hair into a messy bun as you stare at the clock. It was 2:58 PM on a dreary Saturday. The TV hummed with a cooking show, the only company you had while waiting for the electrician you'd called earlier that week.

The sudden knock at the door startled you. You peered through the peephole, and there he was: Toji Fushiguro, the man who'd been recommended by your friend. He was tall, his broad shoulders almost filling the doorframe, and his handsome face was a picture of confidence. You felt your heart skip a beat, not from fear but from the electric charge that seemed to pulse through the air around him.

You undid the lock and opened the door. "Hi," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "You're the electrician?"

Toji nodded, flashing a grin that made your knees weak. "Yep, that's me," he said, his eyes shamelessly roaming over your figure. "Toji Fushiguro, at your service." He stepped inside, his work boots squeaking slightly on the polished floor. The air grew thick with tension as he moved closer, invading your personal space in a way that was both intimidating and tantalizing.

You led him to the flickering light in the lounge, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on your hips.

"So, what seems to be the problem?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that seemed to resonate through your very core.

You pointed up at the light fixture. "It's been doing this for a few days now," you said, your voice a little shakier than you'd intended. "I don't know much about electrical stuff, so I figured it was better to call a professional."

Toji nodded, his eyes still fixed on you as he pulled out his toolkit. "Might just be a loose wire," he murmured, setting the tools down on the floor. He walked over to the switch, turning the light on to see the issue for himself before turning it off again. He reached up, his strong arms flexing as he unscrewed the cover. "Let's see what we can do about that."

As he worked, his shirt rode up slightly, revealing a trail of dark hair that led down to his waistband. You couldn't help but stare, your thoughts drifting to the powerful body that lay beneath. The room grew warmer, or maybe it was just your imagination. You licked your lips, feeling a familiar ache building between your legs.

Toji must have noticed your gaze because he glanced down, catching you in the act. He smirked and leaned in closer, his breath hot against your neck. "You like what you see?" he said, pulling you from your thoughts.

You blushed, trying to play it cool. "I'm just admiring your... work ethic," you replied with a roll of your eyes, your voice a breathy whisper.

Toji chuckled, his deep laugh sending a shiver down your spine. He stepped back and bent over the toolkit, his pants stretching tight across his muscular ass. You felt your eyes wander, taking in every inch of his body. He pulled out a pair of wire cutters and a screwdriver, his movements deliberate and precise.

"Might need to get up there to take a better look," he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "Could you help me out?"

You nodded, a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling in your stomach. You stepped closer, reaching to hand him the ladder from the nearby closet. As you did, your breasts brushed against his hand, and you felt a spark of desire ignite. He took the ladder and set it up under the light fixture, his biceps bulging with the effort.

"You can just stay down there," he said, his voice gruff. "I'll let you know if I need anything."

You watched as he climbed the ladder, his thighs flexing with every step. When he reached the top, he leaned over, giving you a perfect view of his ass. You bit your lip, trying to focus on the task at hand, but the anticipation was too much.

"You can go ahead and hand me those wire strippers," he said, holding out his hand without looking down. You reached up, your fingertips grazing his palm as you handed them over. Fuck, his hands were so big.

As you watched him work, you couldn't help but let your thoughts wander. The way his muscles moved beneath his shirt, the scent of his cologne, the roughness of his hands. Before you knew it, your own hand was resting on your thigh, squeezing slightly. You could feel your pussy growing wetter with every passing second.

Toji paused in his work, sensing the shift in the air. He glanced down at you, his eyes darkening. "You okay down there?" he asked, his voice a little gruffer than before.

You nodded, trying to regain your composure. "Yeah, I'm fine," you said, your voice strained.

Toji took his time climbing down the ladder, his eyes never leaving yours. When he reached the bottom, he stepped closer, so close that you could feel the heat emanating from his body. "You sure about that?" he asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

Your breath hitched as his hand reached out, brushing against your cheek. His thumb traced a line along your jaw, sending a shiver down your spine. "I can see you're a little... distracted," he murmured.

You swallowed hard, unable to form a coherent response. His touch was like a brand, searing through your skin and igniting a fire within you. The ache between your legs grew more intense, and you realized you'd been subtly shifting your weight, trying to relieve the pressure.

Toji leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "Maybe I can help with that," he whispered, his hand sliding down to rest on your hip. His fingers dug in, holding you in place as he stepped closer, trapping you between his body and the wall.

You gasped as he brought his mouth to yours, his kiss rough and demanding. His tongue slid past your lips, exploring your mouth with a hunger that matched your own. Your body responded instinctively, arching into him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands roamed over your body, one sliding up to cup your breast, the other slipping down to squeeze your ass.

With a growl, Toji picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the couch. He set you down, his eyes never leaving yours as he stripped off his shirt, revealing a chest that was a sculpted masterpiece. You reached out, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles, feeling the heat of his skin.

He kissed you again, his hands deftly unbuttoning your blouse. Your breasts spilt out, and he took one in his mouth, sucking and biting gently. You moaned, your body responding to his touch with a fervour that surprised you.

"Fuck," you breathed, as his hand slid up your thigh, pushing your shorts aside. His rough fingers grazed your wet panties, the fabric already soaked through. He leaned in, capturing your mouth again as he ground his hips against you, his erection pressing into your core.

You reached for his belt, eager to feel his bare skin against yours. He let out a low growl as you unbuckled it, his erection straining against his pants. He stepped back for a moment, pulling his pants down to free himself, revealing his thick, hard cock.

You couldn't take your eyes off it, the sight making your mouth water. "Suck it," he ordered, his voice a low growl that sent a bolt of excitement through your body. You didn't hesitate, sliding off the couch to your knees. The scent of his arousal filled the air as you leaned in, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock. You took the tip into your mouth, feeling the heat and the velvety skin against your tongue.

Toji's hands tangled in your hair, guiding your movements as you took more of him in. "That's it, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "Take it all." His curses and praise grew more fervent as you worked him, your mouth sliding up and down his length, taking in as much as you could and using your hand to pump the base. The salty taste of his precum mixed with the musky scent of his skin was driving you wild.

"You like that, don't you?" he groaned, his grip tightening. "You like being a good little slut for me." You nodded, unable to speak around his cock and tears pricked the corners of your eyes. The idea of being his, of being used by him, was intoxicating.

"Mmhmm," you managed to murmur, your voice muffled by his shaft.

Toji's grip in your hair tightened as he thrust deeper into your mouth, his hips rocking slightly as you gagged on his cock. "Such a good girl," he groaned, his voice a mix of pleasure and dominance. "So eager to please.

You moaned in response, the vibrations travelling along his length as your throat spasmed around him. He was heightening your arousal with every filthy word that left his lips. You could feel your own juices trickling down your thighs, your pussy begging for his attention.

"Look at you," Toji said, his voice a gruff whisper. "Such a greedy little whore. You want more, don't you?"

You nodded, your eyes watering slightly as you kept up the pace. His grip in your hair tightened, pulling you back and forth as he fucked your mouth. You could feel his cock swelling, growing harder with every stroke. "That's it," he growled. "Take it all, baby."

His praise was driving you to be the best you could be for him. You moaned around his length, the vibrations sending shivers through his body. His curses grew louder, his hips bucking as he reached the edge. "I'm going to cum," he warned, his voice strained. "Be a good girl and swallow every fucking drop."

You nodded, eager to please. His cock pulsed in your mouth, and you felt the first hot spurt of his cum hit the back of your throat. You swallowed, the salty taste flooding your mouth. He pulled out, stroking himself the last few times, spurts of cum landing on your face and chest. You sat back, a proud smile playing on your lips.

Toji pressed you back onto the couch, His hands deftly found the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down with a harsh jerk. Toji's gaze raked over you, his pupils dilating with desire. He slid his thumbs under the elastic of your panties, pulling them down with a slow, deliberate motion. You felt the cool air hit your skin, making you shiver.

He dropped to his knees, his breath hot against your thighs. "Spread 'em," he ordered, his voice thick with lust. You obeyed, your legs parting as he moved closer. His hands slid along your inner thighs, his rough fingers sending shivers up your spine. You felt his mouth on you, his tongue tracing the line of your pussy before delving in. You moaned, your hips bucking as he began to eat you out.

His tounge found your clit with ease, pressing down with just the right amount of pressure. He teased it mercilessly, flicking and circling as you squirmed beneath him. Then, without warning, one of his thick digits slid inside you, filling you up. You gasped, the sudden intrusion making your eyes roll back in your head. He chuckled against your skin, his teeth grazing your clit as he added a second finger.

Toji's fingers began to move, pumping in and out of you in a rhythm that grew more frantic with every passing second. You could feel yourself getting wetter, your juices coating his hand as he worked you closer to the edge. His tounge remained on your clit, rubbing it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. It was as if he knew exactly what you needed, as if he could read your mind.

With a wicked grin, he pulled away, leaving you panting and desperate. He leaned back, his eyes traveling over your exposed, trembling body. "Ready for more?" he asked, his voice low and dark.

You nodded, unable to form words as he repositioned himself between your legs. He spread your cheeks apart, his breath hot on your sensitive skin. You felt his rough fingers slide into your pussy, coating them in your wetness before moving to your tight asshole. "Look at this perfect little asshole," he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and lust. "So tight and pink. Do you want me to play with it?" He began to massage the entrance before you could reply, loosening you up with gentle pressure. The sensation was foreign and thrilling, making you squirm with anticipation.

With a wicked smirk, Toji leaned in, his tongue darting out to taste you. He licked around the edge of your asshole, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body. You tightened your grip on the couch cushions, biting back a moan. He circled the tight ring of muscle before pushing his tongue inside, making you gasp. The feeling was intense, a mix of pleasure and pressure that was driving you wild.

As he ate your ass, his fingers remained busy, plunging in and out of your pussy. He stretched you wider, filling you with his digits until you were begging for more. You felt a third finger slide in alongside the first two, stretching you even further. The sensation was almost too much to handle.

He pulled away, smacking his lips. "You're so fucking tight," he murmured, his eyes dark with lust. "But I think you can take more." He pushed a fourth finger inside you, the blunt pressure making your eyes water. You gasped, your body tensing, but he held you down, his other hand keeping your pussy filled.

Toji began to pump his four fingers in and out, stretching you open. You felt your body start to relax, to accept the intrusion. You groaned, the sensation overwhelming. It was too much, but at the same time, it wasn't enough. You wanted more.

He looked up at you knowingly, his eyes dark with hunger. "Beg for it," he growled.

You couldn't believe the words that slipped from your mouth. "Please, Toji," you whimpered, "Fist me."

"Nasty fuckin' slut." He teases with a wicked grin, but he complied, adding the addition of his thumb, his hand disappearing into your pussy. You felt a brief moment of panic before the pressure grew, stretching you wider than you ever thought possible. He pushed in, inch by inch, his fist disappearing into your body. The pain was exquisite, a delicious agony that had you crying out in a mix of pleasure and pain.

As his fist filled you completely, his other hand moved back to your asshole, slipping a digit inside. The sensation of being so full was overwhelming, making your eyes water. You couldn't believe how much you enjoyed the feeling of his hand buried inside you, his knuckles pressing against the walls of your pussy. It was as if every nerve ending was on fire, the pleasure searing through you.

Toji leaned back in, his tongue licking your clit as he fisted you. The combination of his hand moving in and out of your tight hole and his tongue swirling around your sensitive nub was more than you could handle. You felt your orgasm building, a crescendo of sensation that was about to crash over you.

"Fuck, you're taking this so well," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "You like that, don't you?"

You could only nod, unable to find the words to respond as he began to move his fist in and out of you with a steady rhythm. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through your body, making you arch off the couch. His tongue danced around your clit, licking and sucking as his fist pumped in and out of your pussy. The sensation was like nothing you'd ever experienced before, a delicious mix of pain and pleasure that had you begging for more.

Toji's hand was a blur of motion, his fist disappearing and reappearing as he fucked you with a ferocity that left you gasping for air. Your orgasm grew closer, the tension coiling tight in your belly. You could feel your muscles spasming around his hand, the pleasure building to a fever pitch.

With a final, desperate thrust, your body let go. You squirted, your juices spraying all over his hand and the couch beneath you. The force of your climax was so intense that you saw stars, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. Toji's eyes widened in surprise, but his smile grew even more wicked as he watched you come apart in his arms.

As your body trembled, he withdrew his fist, your muscles clenching around his retreating hand. He licked his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he took in the sight of your quivering form. "Damn, you're a squirter," he murmured, his voice filled with approval. "I fucking love a good show."

[autumnbrambleagain]

It's like, you go up to Baldur's Gate 3 and you're like, hey, you're a fantasy game. Can I play as something weird? Like maybe a centaur? That's a fantasy race, right?

And Baldur's Gate 3 says, uhm, no. You can play as a human. If you really must be different you can play as a dragonborn.

And it's like. oh, neat! That's like, a dragon?

And they're like, well, it looks more like some kind of fish... maybe like, you know those shrink-wrapped dinosaurs from the earlier days of paleontology?

And it's like... oh. Okay. What about modded races? Did someone mod in a centaur?

And BG3 is like, buddy. Buddy. Do you know how hard that would be for fans to animate? We don't even have a modding toolkit for you to use. Of course not. You can't play as a centaur. You play as a human.

And it's like... no, sure, of course, I'm sorry for bothering you.

You go to Caves of Qud and ask if you can play as a centaur.

CoQ says oh, sure, one of the first npcs you run into is a taur! The extra legs let you outspeed enemies and also give you a carry weight bonus! But what's that over there is that your fursona

and i'm like, oh, what, uhh

and CoQ is like, yeah! What is that, two-headed, four-armed foxthing? Why don't you play as that instead?

and i'm like, I'm sorry, what?

and CoQ is like, yeah, having two heads lets you wear two kinds of helmets for different bonuses, and also lets you use mental abilities quicker AND helps you shake off mental effects faster! the extra arms lets you stack up a whole bunch of weapons at once, it's a really powerful base to build your character around!

And I'm like... well... what about the visual representation of it?

and CoQ goes, we use sprites with 2 colors and negative space, so you don't need to relearn 3D modeling and animation to have your guy represented in the game with the same fidelity as everything else that already exists in it! no problem!

and like... of course, the Thing You Can Play As isn't the only factor that makes a game good! but after experiencing this, it's so hard to enjoy games like BG3. Like yeah the story and its writing and your ability to affect it are unmatched in BG3 it especially makes Bethesda look like hot steaming garbage!

but i have to either play as a human or a shrink wrapped fish dinosaur from 60s paleontology to do it? and every game makes me just play as a human. the most fantastical games with the craziest settings all mostly moderate themselves to "medieval europe... with a little bit of weirdness"

meanwhile in CoQ turning a locked door sapient, recruiting it, and giving it a chaingun so i have a literal metal door wielding a chaingun is a perfectly viable answer to getting through a locked door

anyway that's why i think the developers of CoQ should be given the budget of BG3 tyvmia

[tobiasdrake]

Growing up, I didn't appreciate Princess Peach much. In my teen years, I was trying to get away from things that were pink and girly for reasons of toxic masculinity, and Peach seemed like such an empty character.

I liked Zelda. Zelda's cool. Zelda's badass. Zelda gets to be a ninja and she fights Ganon and she's a battle mage and and and and

To my male sensibilities, Zelda had the better aesthetic.

But the problem is? Aesthetic is all Zelda is allowed to be. And I say it that way because I don't want people to think that's all Zelda is. There is so much potential in this character. But it's potential that never sees the light of day, because the will to use her isn't there.

The problem isn't the character. Zelda and Peach are not in competition with each other.

The difference between them is that the Mario franchise loves Peach. She's been playable so many times over the years, since her playable debut in the American Super Mario Bros. 2. She didn't start out that way; Even that game was kind of a fluke.

But as the series grew, it fell in love with its leading lady. She didn't just get to be a cool supporting character; she saw playability not just in the ensemble games like Party or Kart but in core Mario games.

The Wii era brought with it a renaissance of Peach. While Mario still gets games all to himself here and there, it's rare now to see a game where Luigi is playable and Peach isn't. She often gets focus time in the RPGs like Mario RPG or Paper Mario. She's even gearing up for her second solo adventure in Princess Peach Showtime.

The Mario franchise loves Peach.

While Zelda is left behind, floating around the margins of her own series. Her games are based around exploring Hyrule, fighting monsters, dungeon-diving, and collecting utility tools that both increase your combat options and expand your access to the map.

Aesthetically, you could easily make a game in the same format and have Zelda collect spells rather than Link collecting tools, that serve identical functions. If you really wanted to put the work in, you could even do both and let players choose their protagonist at the start of the game.

Functionally, there is little difference between blasting open a wall with a bomb and blasting it open with a fireball. Or latching a hookshot onto a grapple point versus casting some kind of warp spell or magic rope. Link's gameplay can suit Zelda just fine.

Even in the modern open-world games like BOTW or TOTK, Link's toolkit is more magical than technical anyway - sometimes to the point of explicitly using Zelda's gear to do all of his cool stuff. It would be trivially easy to map Link's gameplay onto Zelda. But the will isn't there. LOZ doesn't care about Zelda, the way SMB cares about Peach.

Zelda and Peach both take frequent turns at the damsel role. But outside of that, Peach's series treats her as a capable co-protagonist armed and ready to carry adventures on her own. Zelda's treats her as a power-up for Link to consume.

I'm older now and I'm over all that "Ew pink and girly shit" bullshit that dominated my embarrassing younger years. I have a lot more respect now for Peach than I ever did then. And I still like Zelda too. These characters, as I said before, are not in competition.

But I wish Zelda's series loved her even half as much as Peach's.

[thejokig23]

Favourite and least favourite part of each FromSoftware game I've played

Demon's Souls:

I really like the freedom of choice on where you want to go. Stonefang, Latria, the Shrine of Storms, and the Valley of Defilement are all accessible after beating Phalanx, designed to be completed or visited in whatever order you choose. A lot of mechanics in Demon's Souls also fit this style pretty well, like the grass system.

When playing Demon's Souls, I find it lacking in amazing fights like the other games. The only one that's really a stand out is the False King. The lack of a proper dragon fight is particularly devastating to me. The fights aren't bad for the most part, just usually more puzzle based than I'd like.

Dark Souls:

The interconnected aspect of the first half of the game. It reminds me of Metroid in a way, being able to navigate through a twisting world to get stronger or pick up items you need, finding shortcuts. It would have been great if this carried into the second half as well.

I find out if all the games, Dark Souls has the most enemies that aren't really designed to be fought. A few coming to mind being the blue drakes, the cats in the forest, giant sentinels, Sen's fortress' giants, the Titanite demons, the giant maggots in Izalith, and the boars in the archive's entrance. They're just awkward to fight, usually with janky movement and collision.

Dark Souls II:

The variety of viable playstyles is at its best in DS2. Bows, crossbows, and magic are all just as good as melee. You can infuse pretty much any weapon, even special weapons and catalysts, really anything goes. There are certainly bad options, but they aren't bad in the same way as bad options in the other games.

Unfortunately, the game is just really fucking janky. Moving feels like your controller is covered in molasses, animations are both slow and weightless, and both enemies and the majority of areas look outright unfinished. I can't stand playing it for more than a few minutes.

Dark Souls III:

This is the most consistently great game FromSoftware has made (that I have played). Every area has looping paths, with shortcuts reusing bonfires and secrets to find. A vast majority of enemies are just fun to fight, even grouped together, and there are very few bad bosses, with many times more amazing ones.

Although, playing the game multiple times gets old incredibly fast. The combat is incredibly light attack centric, and most weapons function pretty similar to each other. Viable builds that noticeably devuate from this are few and far between: bows suck, sorcery sucks, miracles suck, and pyromancy is only okay.

Bloodborne:

The trick weapons are exactly what I like to see in a weapon's moveset: toolkits for beating shit up. Fewer weapons with more individual personality is an amazing idea, and while there are a few somewhat disappointing (note: I didn't say ineffective), like the saw spear and Ludwig's holy blade taking their untransformed moveset from the saw cleaver and Kirkhammer respectively, the majority are really cool and fun to use.

While the game looks gorgeous, the visuals do tend to get in the way of gameplay. There are framerate issues quite often, colours blend to mush a lot, and particle effects will just cover whatever you're fighting, which is made worse by how fast and twitchy enemies tend to be. A particularly bad example was fighting Ludwig's first phase. The second phase was fantastic, but god is getting to it miserable, with dust and blood everywhere as he flails around incomprehensibly.

Sekiro:

I did not get far in this one. People lumping it in with the other games is a mistake, it's really not that similar to the other games in most ways. Not to say it's bad, obviously, in fact I think deflecting is an amazing mechanic. I never quite got good at it, but it's engaging and fun to do.

Sekiro just wasn't really for me. I kinda just got lost and gave up, with no clue how to get better or stronger in any way. I wasn't having fun dying to the chained ogre over and over, gettibg no closer to beating it no matter what I did, and not really fibding anywhere else to go.

Elden Ring:

The setting of Elden Ring is fantastic. Lots of vibrant colours, but all within a certain natural pallet. The world is bursting with life in a way the other games weren't, and I find a living world bursting with energy more compelling than one falling into entropy. Character and monster designs are amazing and play into this as well, especially when comparing them to previous games. It's not perfect - I dislike how boring sorcery is as just being, for the most part, Blue Stuff, while incantations get many, MANY more interesting spell types to work with (and its Yellow Stuff being limited to one or two spell groups). But otherwise, it's my favourite FromSoftware setting.

Combat in Elden Ring can be kinda hit or miss. The main culprit, I think, is that fighting most enemies and some bosses feels unnatural, like they're all truing to just trip you up and hit you with bullshit. I like Dancer oft the Boreal Valley, I like Pontiff, I like the Nameless King - but not for every fucking fight in the game. It just feels tedious.

[jessicanjpa]

Twilight Advent Calendar 2023 Event

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Dec. 21 - Pick any five characters. What's something they always carry with them?

Jasper: Zippo lighter

You never know when you might need to dismember and incinerate an enemy. Or, you know, burn out an entire classroom because you accidentally killed the teacher and you have no choice but to murder the whole class to cover your tracks. Safety first.

Carlisle: doctor bag including a fantasy-level knockout syringe

I don't even know what's in that syringe. Propofol? Ketamine? Methohexital? Even if he were to inject a bolus directly into the jugular vein after making an educated guess about his victim's body weight, I don't think anything can work that fast. Cardiac arrest is more likely, but he's the doctor.

Anyway, that syringe canonically sees more action than Jasper's lighter and I think that's hilarious.

Esme: tin pencil box, 1921

Carlisle had an exasperating habit of purchasing any and every item that newborn Esme mentioned even the smallest interest in. When the words "I used to draw when I was a girl" crossed her lips, he practically ran out the door to shop for art supplies. This tin pencil box came home in his pocket. Esme still carries it in her purse to this day, stocked with whichever medium is her favorite at the time. A small, battered sketch pad is ready and waiting, too—you never know when you might stumble across something beautiful.

Rosalie: decorative makeup compact and emergency toolkit

It's important to Rosalie that everyone—humans and vampires alike—see her as both beautiful and competent. I don't think the books ever mentioned whether Rosalie and/or Alice wear makeup to school, but if they do, it has to be reapplied often because of the nature of vampire skin. And while she's perfectly capable of using people's glasses as a mirror (canon), I think she'd rather do it in style.

And she feels most comfortable when she's prepared for mortifying scenarios like her car breaking down in a school parking lot someday. She also likes being the one to say "Well actually you just need a 3/16 hex wrench—here" when someone is scratching their head over a broken chair/desk/bicycle/anything.

Charlotte: digital camera -> smartphone

Nomads have to be very particular about what they keep with them; no self-respecting vampire wants to dash around the globe wearing a backpack. But Charlotte had to, back when she had no choice but to carry around a bulky camera, extra rolls of film, and prints. She very happily made the switch to digital once the resolution became good enough. And now she's made the switch to smartphone photography (a little more grudgingly). Peter got her an iPhone-compatible macro lens last year and that finally won her over.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

You can find all of the #twilightadvent23 prompts here!

[bulldagger-bait]

My pipe-dream wheelchair:

Super lightweight but incredibly strong

Caster wheels that are big enough that microscopic terrain changes dont bother me, but wheels that also allow for a tight turning circle

The ability to function effectively on all surfaces. Truly all terrain. Road, gravel, grass, sand.

A seat that is able to adjust to the perfect height for everything with minimal effort. No more being too tall or too short for tables, wheelchair trolleys, sinks, or countertops

But this height change feature is seamless and streamlined in a way where it doesnt make the wheelchair different or difficult to use. It somehow just magically is always the perfect height.

Power assist that is lightweight and able to be controlled with my mind so there is always the perfect amount of boost

The ability to push and steer in a way that never causes my arms to get tired and the push mechanism is able to change to what i need. Rims or levers or a joystick able to be swapped to as desired

Active and sporty while still being sturdy and functional without being bulky or unsightly

Excellent shock absorption to the point where it puts no more strain on my spine than an able bodied person would experience walking. Lile fucking magical, super-light-weight suspension.

The ability to change colour to fit my intended vibe, mood, or outfit

Easily adjustable features. Like being able to alter the seat back positioning without having to get out the toolkit and spend an hour fiddling with bolts until it feels just how i want

Compartments that are easily accessible without needing to hyperextend joints or bend my body in a way that it cant

Incredibly easy to pack down and store in my car. Like basically just a one and done type of system. I should be able to lift it in and out of any storage space easily and it isnt cumbersome or a hindrance in any way. I should be able to get out of the car in roughly the same amount of time it takes other people to do so normally

The complete inability to fall out of it. Not a seatbelt, because that just means when you inevitably fall, you to hit the ground and are then awkwardly fastened with your chair on your back. No, i mean, it is impossible to knock me out of it. Like that clown doll they did psychological experiments with where its center of mass is so low it always perfectly rights itself

The ability to never get my clothes dirty. Clothing guards that arent a hassle to deal with, and wheels that dont transfer dirt and muck onto my sleeves

A cupholder (essential)

A way to carry a bag or suitcase or something that does not involve balancing it on my lap

An elegant frame design that looks cool as fuck and goes beyond the traditional wheelchair shape while still being practical

Wheel spokes that dont crush my fingers when i take the wheels off

Wheels, that if i take them off, always perfectly click back into place and never cause the "your wheel is technically attached but is slowly drifting away from your chair and setting you up for a really nasty fall if you dont notice in time" kind of fail safe

Easy to clean and service. Low maintenance. Does not require me to have to wait around at the area ive dropped it off at for hours bc i have to wait for my legs to be returned to me

The ability to hold an umbrella in a way that my entire body is shielded from rain

A recline feature almost like a tilting power chair, so i can practically lie down whenever i need

Breaks that allow for breaking without getting in the way of my hands when i push

Basically what i want is pure fantasy. But if you're creating a fantastical wheelchair then it should get to be awesome beyond imagination

[gumnut-logic]

It hadn’t been his best plan, he had to admit it. But the idea sprung up and he had been at his wits end with a head full of…stuff…and he needed a distraction.

He was pretty sure he could explain a motorised spinning clothesline. After all, wasn’t that what the washing machine did anyway? A few basic laws of applied physics couldn’t do anything but help get clothing dry in the tropics.

Could it?

Of course, he was bullshitting himself and every human in a hundred kilometre radius and he knew it in some dark, deep corner of his soul, but yesterday had been hell and he needed to DO SOMETHING.

Scott had banned him from the hangars due to injury.

Injury, sminjury, so he had a sprained wrist. He could still do stuff.

Even if it hurt to play the piano and the thought of holding a brush up wasn’t pleasant.

Now you’re just a hypocrite.

Oh, shut up!

So, Virgil Tracy grabbed his toolkit and a few important bits and pieces from his workshop…he went in the back way so he didn’t go through the hangars, so there, Scott! And, carrying them in his good hand lest he be arrested on the way back up, snuck…okay, he was sneaking, but that was because a certain brother was a worry wart!...out onto the lawn and crouched down by the clothesline.

What followed was several lovely hours of tinkering away and experimenting and playing, yes, playing, and he had a good time which was much better than sitting on his ass in his bedroom pouting.

He had to admit that by the time he had the solar panel assembled and the motor suspended at the right place, his wrist was hurting a bit more than it should be and the medic in the back of his head was having conniptions, but the mental health value of the exercise certainly outweighed anything else.

That was until standing back and admiring his work, he realised he had an audience.

Of two.

Aw, crap.

“Whatcha doin’, Virg?”

“Mind your business.”

“Ooooh, touchy. Need some coffee?”

Gordon was standing with his arms crossed beside Alan. While Alan had some actual interest in his eyes, Gordon was channelling a combination of sprung older brother and mischief.

“What do you want, Gordon?”

“I see you have motorised the clothesline.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“How fast does it go?”

Virgil eyed his brother. The smirk was practically acidic and started eating Virgil’s eyeballs. This was going to hurt, wasn’t it.

“Fast enough.”

“Round and round? Like a turbo charged merry-go-round, possibly?”

“Gordon…”

But Alan reacted to that. “Woah, that sounds like fun.”

Virgil rubbed his face and was punished for using the wrong hand. Maybe he could claim short term breakdown of his logic centres? An addiction to tinkering?

Why the hell did he need a motorised clothesline at all? They had a dryer for that exact reason.

Did sprained wrists reduce mental capacity? Or was it just that he had known this would happen and he needed it as much as his little brothers did?

Yesterday had been hell.

Screw the excuses, they now had a motorised clothesline and all that implied.

Part of him was aghast at what he had done, the other part was too busy grinning as both Gordon and Alan hurried past and examined his creation.

Everything was loud in his head, but at least he wasn’t sad anymore.

Of course, that was the point where Gordon found the On switch and with a whirring sound and a pair of squawks, launched both himself and Alan into a high speed orbit of the metal and concrete axis of the contraption.

In other words, they started the merry-go-round and clung to the metal bars of the clothesline while it swung them around at a speed high enough for physics to lift them almost horizontal.

It was at this point Virgil realised the complete lack of safety mechanisms.

It was also the point where Scott ambled out onto the patio and exclaimed in horror.

Scott really did know how to meet just the right pitch to communicate terror where his brothers were concerned.

Ever wanting to protect Scott and his brothers from absolutely everything, Virgil jumped into kill the power on the spinning contraption.

The switch was beneath the clothesline and he had to dart in under the pair of screaming brothers - either joy or terror – neither younger brother was as clear as Scott in communication – as they spun around and around.

Killing the motor was easy, but seeing the expression on Scott’s face as he came running towards them, only had Virgil panicking enough to leap up and try to catch his brothers and slow them down faster – fix the problem at speed.

He was a Tracy and Tracys love speed.

Unfortunately, that expression on his brother’s face was enough to short circuit Virgil’s brain regarding his own safety – wasn’t the first time, likely wouldn’t be the last – he had a sprained wrist for exactly that reason, after all, and it was a major component of why he had to DO SOMETHING this morning or go out of his mind.

So, without thinking of the logical consequences, Virgil stepped into the path of his spinning brothers, intending on using heavy-lifting muscles to catch them and slow them down.

Instead, he got kicked in the head twice and went down for the count in a lovely wave of darkness.

-o-o-o-

“Virgil, what the hell were you thinking?”

It was a tired Scott voice. One that spoke of insane brothers driving him around the bend and into his grave.

Virgil opened his eyes expecting to see a terrible two lined up for discipline. But the room – Virgil’s room – was empty except for one older brother rubbing his eyes.

It was very bright and Virgil’s head complained.

“Virg? You with me?”

A grunt was all he managed.

“When I said ‘no working’ did I really have to include the clothesline?”

Virgil scrunched up his face. “You didn’t say anything about it specifically.”

Scott’s sigh of exasperation was enough. “Brains has declared it a breakthrough by the way. Apparently, you got more power out of those solar cells versus however fast you got that thing to go than should have been theoretically possible.”

“Oh?”

“He says it was a logical step on from the project the two of you were working on in the HANGARS.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Was Scott gritting his teeth? “You even have John excited due to some physics rule you broke in the process. He has Eos analysing our CLOTHESLINE.”

Virgil winced. “Please don’t yell.”

“I don’t possibly see how I can’t yell. You are the responsible one. Did you break something yesterday that you have failed to declare or have you always been this way?”

Virgil glared at his brother and tried to ignore how much frowning hurt his eyebrows. “You know the answer to that.”

It was Scott’s turn to grunt. “Don’t do it again. Gordon and Alan do not need encouragement. They have enough stuff to kill themselves with already.”

Virgil had to grunt at that as well.

“Sorry.”

Another disgruntled murmur was all Scott said after that.

But he did stay with Virgil and kept and eye on him and as time proved that there was no lasting damage from being kicked in the head by two brothers swinging from a clothesline, the holoprojector may have been switched on, Scott may have joined him on the bed and there may even have been some popcorn acquired.

At one point there was an enquiry from the door, but apparently Scott had locked it and Eos was the one who answered…for some reason in an English accent that said ‘Bugger off and leave them alone!”

Virgil just hoped it hadn’t been Grandma outside the door.

But for the moment, his mind was settled, his headache fading and he was quite happy sitting beside the brother he had sprained his wrist for by pulling him out of the air the previous day, and watching trash TV they could both poke fun at.

After all, who needed to tinker when he had all that?

-o-o-o-

[cvt2dvm]

Bag Tour 2024: Daily Bag Edition Feat. Hannibal Lector

All images have alt text descriptions with items listed, bag tour, and the reasons for each item below the cut

The Bag Itself:

This bag is a Coach Turnlock Tote bag in the pebbled leather color Blossom. This bag, the belt bag I now use as a bag organizer, and the wallet were all gifted to me in 2019 by a family member. The belt is too large for me at this point in life, so the pouch has been repurposed as a Toolkit of sorts. While it is a hair small fully packed, I enjoy the color of it and the balance of it as well as the functionality of the pockets it has.

The Straps:

My straps on this bag usually aren't this cluttered. However, Hannibal has been coming with me to work on a daily basis to get him used to the idea of traveling, and I needed a place to put his harness.

On my straps there is a malachite pendant necklace attached to the charm loop at the bottom of the right side of the outer strap, and my keys are also usually attached here with a carabiner unless I'm going somewhere that I'd want my keys a little bit more secured. I just like malachite. It looks cool. It's the right shades of green, and it's fairly easy to get ahold of.

I also have my stethoscope looped here if it's not around my neck or on my desk at home. I have a neonate size littman stethoscope since I primarily work in companion animal medicine, and I find that it focuses a bit better on my patients who are less than 15 pounds. I do have a regular litmann as well, but that one stays at the office. Most of my after-hours calls are on cats and small geriatric dogs who have standing orders for as needed injections of certain medications whose owners are either unwilling or unable to administer those medications.

Then, the big thing on the straps today is Hannibal's harness. Little dude is 17 weeks, and a whopping 7 lbs already. I could gush about him literally all day, though. His harness was only on the bag while he was allowed to have free roam over the back of the reception area and wrestle with Chewbacca (my terrier).

Turnlock Pocket:

This is where I keep my human med kit for myself, plus treats for my pets, or snacks for myself. Image 8 is the corresponding image.

Human Med Kit:

Glucometer: I have struggled with Non-diabetic hypoglycemia, POTS, and hemiplegic migraines for about 7 years now due to a moderate traumatic brain injury in my teens. So I tend to take 2-5 glucose readings per day. The rubber gloves in my glucometer bag aren't for me to use on me so much as they are to be ready if I need to assist someone in a first aid setting or administer narcan to someone.

Excedrine Migraine: A tried and true beloved OTC medication, both my terrier, Chewbacca, and my malinois, Phobos, are trained for migraine alert and POTS electrolyte imbalance alert work, although Chewbacca is retired at this point. At the first migraine alert from my dogs, I take one tablet of Excedrine and then wait an hour. If the migraine continues to worsen, I then take the second half of the regular dose. This is what works for me, and you should talk to your doctor about treatment options if you have migraines. Currently, I'm down to only 2-4 migraines a month and only experiencing breakthrough hemiplegic migraine symptoms about once every 3 months with this routine.

Narcan: I carry it everywhere. I was never an opioid addict. However, after my TBI, I did struggle with perscription amphetamine addiction, and as a result of having been through that, and having gotten clean, I've become a really big proponent of harm reduction and narcan access programs. There's a few charities I'm involved with that give away narcan locally, and I'd be happy to put anyone interested in carrying narcan some national resources. I also live fairly close to Philadelphia and have unfortunately had to utilize narcan to assist strangers in bars in the past from tainted supplies.

Menstrual cup: I have PCOS, so my cycle isn't super regular and I'd rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it.

Not Pictured: My supply of both instant iced coffee, instant electrolytes, and protein bars that I keep in my glove box, office desk, and at home. Both the caffiene (increases blood pressure) and the electrolytes (increases sodium and potassium) are important in managing my POTS symptoms. The protein bars are for when my glucose drops a bit too far.

Chicken Churu: This was Hannibal's treat for today, we worked on saying hello to strangers and walking nicely on a leash.

Tech:

Corresponding Photos: 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, & 9

Samsung Galaxybook Go: This is my laptop for work and personal use, it has an LTE data chip so I can use it on the go without sucking up my Hotspot data, and it's got fantastic battery life. I bought this refurbished off of Amazon at the beginning of the year. It also charges with a USB-C cable which is super convenient since the rest of my tech with the exception of my smart watch also utilizes USB-C charging so I can just pack a fast charge block and 2 USB-C cables rather than lug around 5 different chargers.

Samsung Galaxytab S6 Lite: It was on special at costco and has an S-Pen which is great as someone who's memory for reading/typing isn't nearly as effective as my memory for things I've written down. I mostly use this for notes on patients and my studies.

Samsung Galaxy23 Ultra: It has a stylus and is of a similar design, feel, and functionality to my Note9 I just replaced last fall.

Samsung Galaxy Buds2 Pro: The active noise cancelling is fantastic for working in busy coffee shops on Mondays, and the Ambient sound is great for getting a Podcast in during charting or longer monitoring stints.

Samsung Galaxy Watch5: LTE enabled watch helps when I'm away from my phone during the day, it allows me to still get calls, texts, notifications, and keep track of active time and calories burned.

Charging Bundle: One 8" USB-C -> USB-C cord for charging my tablet, phone, or earbuds off of my laptop, one 4' USB-C -> USB-C cord to charge my laptop or other devices if my laptop is sufficently charged, a USB-A -> hard drive cord for my 1TB portable drive, and a USB-A Smart watch charging cord.

Data storage: 8GB flash drive that is mostly used for ultrasound capture transfers and X-Ray Diacom transfers, although occasionally it also gets used for in-house lab data transfers when the WiFi link is acting up. 1 TB portable hard drive, this contains textbook PDFs, a large music library, archived notes, and lesser used reference tables and software. It also has copies of my more important documents.

Vlogging/Content Creation Supplies: Light bar, microphone, mini tripod, comfort grip, and microphone stand. Basically just stuff to enhance recording quality for tiktoks, reels, and YouTube videos (coming soon).

Books & Stationery:

Pocket Edition Book of Common Prayer: No, I am not carrying a Bible around, I have an app for that. This is a Book of Common Prayer (1979 edition) for The Episcopal Church. While I'm laity, I do still try and take time for Morning Prayer/Matin, Noonday Prayer/Diurnum, Evening Prayer/Evensong, and End of Day Prayer/Compline. These are quiet moments for me to break away from the stressors of the day. I also utilize 2 additional devotionals for quiet time upon rising and before bed that supplement my regular journaling, however these stay on my bedside table with my primary journal.

Martha Stewart For Staples Discbound Junior Notebook, this is my planner, quick notebook, and lazy journal, I basically dump my brain out right here throughout the day.

Paper clips: From marking off the current month and week in my planner to organizing papers from drug reps, to getting a client printed copies of their records, there's lots of paperclip usage.

Correction tape: I don't often use pencils and sometimes my brain goes faster than my hand and mistakes happen.

Erasers and pencil leads: If I'm out and about I don't want to lose my ability to sketch and use pencils if they're needed

Pens: Pink, Red, and Black ink, my standard for personal notes is Pink ink, while business notes are done in black, the red is for corrections on both

Pencil: it's the same grip as my favorite pens that I can write for hours with, super beneficial for long study sessions.

S Note App: My longer rough notes and revised notes are done in SNote with a SPen/stylus and handwritten out. I also tend to keep spare nibs on hand, however I am currently out of spare nibs.

Sticky notes/flags: great for passing off notes to coworkers, flagging charts, or marking messages.

Snack Attack:

Travel Cutlery set with a fork, spoon, and knife so that I don't have to get utensils when I grab breakfast or lunch at Wawa or the local BBQ joint

Travel straw: Save the turtles while still enjoying my Starbucks

Bandana/neckerchief: No single use napkins here

Coozie: Perfect for NA Seltzers, Sodas, or a beer at the bar after work. Plus it holds all my other eating supplies.

Beauty/Hygiene:

Hand lotion: washing hands between every patient can leave my hands feeling pretty gnarly, so I always pack lotion

Perfume: Anal Glands happen, and sometimes you just... need to freshen up a bit.

Dry Shampoo: my hair always looks super greasy after taking my scrub cap off after surgeries, this buys me enough time to get through my shift

Hand sanitizer: ideal for housecall visits or visits to elder care facilities where you may not be able to properly wash your hands between patients.

Lip gloss: I'm not a huge fan of lip balms and the waxy feeling they leave on my lips vs the glide of a lipgloss or oil.

Sewing kit: Because if your shirt rips in vet med, it's probably going to be in a place you really don't want it to rip

Manicure kit: wrestling with animals can cause nail breakage and hang nails, and I'd rather not have to chew one off. It also has tweezers that come in handy for splinters or thorns picked up from animal coats.

Blotting sponge: again, I tend to start looking greasy after surgery because I sweat. And I'd rather be able to take care of it quickly and discreetly

Condoms: These don't need to be in my work bag, but they're in the tool kit along with my most basic essentials because the Toolkit is in every bag I use, including bags I use when I go out for girls night or linedancing. Also another have and not need vs need and not have item.

Hair tie, bobby pins, barette: just little extra bits and bobs as needed for hair issues, sometimes the dry shampoo isn't enough and the only solution is to throw my hair up into a slicked back ponytail instead of having it down.

Cooling wet wipe: again, surgical sweating

Other Essentials:

Wallet: Obvious Reasons

Nicotine Pouches: I've quit vaping but I haven't quite kicked the habit entirely yet

Unpictured: Glock 43. I uber and doordash after work, I also deliver controlled substances for patients in some not-so-great areas being ravaged by the opioid epidemic. I'm also a 5'5" disabled female who lives alone and has had a stalker. Sorry not sorry, it's insured, I'm licensed, and I take courses for it routinely.

If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, feel free to DM me, comment here, comment in the tags, or reblog. Also, I'm aware this is Tumblr and that the Jesus stuff can be frightening to see, just want to make note that I do fall somewhere between a pluralist and a universalist. As long as you aren't using your religious views to oppress, marginalize, or harm people, we're good as far as I'm concerned.

[atearyamallari]

A Turtle's Guide to Escaping Midtown Precinct South: Part Five

Click here to start from the beginning!

//

As Sun Tzu said, if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If your enemy might find out your brother is in a holding cell, then you can count on him to do everything he can to make sure your loved one is in his custody. Therefore, you must make your move before your enemy has the chance to.

As soon as Don got off the subway, he bolted out of the station and sprinted home. He slipped on a few patches of ice along the way, but he was always quick to scramble back to his feet and keep running. Thankfully, none of his brothers were around to witness his clumsiness – especially Michelangelo. It was kind of ironic, though, that the one time he got to work on the Battle Shell in peace was the one time he had to fix it in record-breaking time.

At last, he reached the warehouse on Eastman and Laird. Don grunted with effort as he slid open a window in the side of the building, then slipped inside. He turned on a space heater, slipped off his gloves, then popped open the hood of the Battle Shell and looked inside.

If the transmission was stuck, then the problem was most likely the shifter cable getting stuck in the machinery, but the cable looked fine. Don frowned. Maybe the problem was one of the detent bolts or spring. He couldn’t tell if that was the case unless he removed a few brackets, however.

Don grabbed his toolbox from the side of the room and lugged it back to the Battle Shell. On his way, he ripped off his white beanie cap and replaced it with his headphone set. “Leo, this is Donatello,” he said, as he pulled out a wrench from the toolkit. “I’m in the warehouse fixing up the Battle Shell.”

“Alright,” came his brother’s voice. “You said it would only take about an hour to fix, right?”

“Yep,” Don said. He started twisting the bolts on one of the brackets with the wrench until it was loose enough to unscrew with his fingers. “In fact, it might even take less –”

Leo sneezed, interrupting him. Grimacing, Don pulled his headset off – though at this point, the damage to his hearing was already done. “Bless you.”

“Thanks. You were saying?”

“The transmission is going to be an easy fix. It might even take less than an hour.”

“So, what was the issue? Did the Battle Shell just… need new transmission fluid? Like an oil change?”

Don cringed. There was no denying that Leo was a smart turtle – just not smart enough to know what he was talking about when it came to auto mechanics. “Just worry about the mission and leave the mechanic stuff to me,” he said. “Anyway, I’m going to call the chief of police. I’ll keep you updated.”

He removed the bracket and set it to the side before pulling out his phone and dialing the office of the chief of police. The phone range twice before it picked up. “Chief Alice Torres, speaking,” said a stern woman on the other end.

“Chief Torres, my name is Bishop. I am calling on behalf of a government agency. This line is secure,” Don said. He didn’t bother to imitate Bishop’s deep, raspy voice. His focus was on reciting his lines just like he rehearsed on the subway. Meanwhile, he let his arms move on automatic mode, loosening the bolts on a second bracket.

“Which government agency?” Chief Torres said. Don imagined a mean-looking woman narrowing her eyes at him in suspicion. “Are you with the FBI?”

“No,” Don answered. “I work with a covert organization dedicated to protecting the Earth from extraterrestrial threats. That’s as much information as I can disclose, I’m afraid.”

She let out a throaty chuckle. “That’s a good one. Can’t say I’ve heard it before,” she said. “But unfortunately for you, misdemeanor prank calls carry a fine of up to one thousand dollars and up to one year in prison time.”

Don figured she would have her suspicions. “At approximately 10:03 this morning, two of your officers arrested a suspect for fare evasion at the subway station on West 4th Street, Washington Square,” he said as a matter of fact. “But that suspect was not an ordinary human. He was of extraterrestrial origin.”

Chief Torres scoffed. “If you think that’s enough to prove that you’re part of some secret organization, then you’ll have to try harder than that.”

“I wasn’t trying to prove anything. I was hoping you’d work with me here,” Don said. “But if it’s proof you want, then I have evidence that could land your precinct in hot water.”

“Oh?”

“You’ve been taking bribes from David Williams, CEO of South Hudson Prison Properties. You send dozens of people to his prisons each year, and in return he pays you handsomely. You enable your officers to use intimidation and coercion tactics to bring up higher charges against the suspects that come through your precinct – in fact, you encourage it. And when one of your former officers, Sergeant Brianna Martin, came forward to expose these practices in your department, you hired a hit against her.”

The other end grew quiet. For a second, Don was worried that he was wrong about those accusations. “Who told you this?” she said at last.

“Like I said, I work for the federal government,” Don said. “It’s my business to know a little bit of everyone’s business.” He removed the bracket and leaned on the frame of the armored van. “I understand if you still don’t want to cooperate, but I also doubt that you want to lose your prestigious position.”

While she stewed in silence, Don took the opportunity to inspect the detent bolts. Just as he suspected, one of them was loose, which had allowed the transmission to lock itself in reverse. This was going to be an even quicker fix than he thought. A pang of guilt tore through his chest. Mikey hadn’t broken the transmission like he thought. It was Don’s own fault. He had messed with the detent bolts the last time he made modifications to the Battle Shell and simply hadn’t tightened it properly. All this trouble because of a tiny piece of metal smaller than his thumb.

“What do you want?” Chief Torres said, interrupting his thoughts.

Don shook his head, as if waking from a reverie. Now was not the time for a pity party, he reminded himself. “I want the alien suspect currently in your custody,” he said. “Now, listen carefully to the instructions that I’m about to give you.”

He gave her coordinates to one of the docks along the East River and told her that it would be their rendezvous. Then he gave more instructions – bring the suspect in an armored vehicle with no windows, only bring along two other officers to ensure the transfer of the suspect, make sure the officers swear to secrecy. She listened to his every word and only interrupted to ask a few clarifying questions.

As they talked, he tightened the detent bolt with some power tools, making sure to mute himself so that she wouldn’t hear the grating buzz of his power drill. He was in the middle of talking and screwing the brackets back into place when he heard a voice behind him. “Donatello?”

Startled, he jumped and hit his head against the hood cover. Sharp pain blossomed on the impact, and he had to bite his lip to hold back a cry of pain. He whipped around to find Splinter standing just a few feet behind him. “Sen –!” Don started. Then he remembered that he was still on a call with the chief of police. “Please hold!” he squeaked before muting his end of the call.

“Donatello, what’s going on?” Splinter asked.

“Master Splinter, I…” Don sputtered.

Leo’s voice came through the headset, nearly startling him again. “Uh oh.”

“Who are you talking to?” Splinter continued. “And what are you doing here? I thought you were at April’s with your brothers.”

“I, uh, was but we needed the Battle Shell for…” Don said. He wasn’t sure what to say. It had never occurred to him that Splinter may come up to the warehouse. “Wait a minute, what are you doing up here, sensei? You never come up to the warehouse.”

“I just had a hunch,” he said, crossing his arms. “And right now, my instincts are telling me that you are stalling.”

Splinter wasn’t wrong; Don still didn’t know what answer to give him. Should he just tell the truth and explain what happened? He didn’t have time for that, not with Chief Torres on hold. And Don definitely didn’t want to be the one to earn Splinter’s ire by explaining what happened. There was just no way to sugar coat the fact that Raph had gotten arrested and was being held by the NYPD – for fare evasion, no less. He wished that his older brother with chime in with some advice in his ear, but Leo remained silent, most likely holding his breath in anticipation like Don was.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have much time,” Don said. “We’ll explain everything when we get back. I promise.”

Splinter narrowed his eyes. “You and your brothers need to be back home before seven,” he said.

“We will, sensei.”

“Seven o’clock precisely.”

“We will, sensei.”

Master Splinter turned around and walked towards the elevator. When he disappeared behind the stone doors, Don finally let out the breath he had been holding. “We’re so cooked,” he said out loud.

“I know,” Leo said with a groan. “I’m almost tempted to leave Raph behind in the precinct.”

“I’m nearly finished with the Battle Shell, and with the call. I’ll tell you once I hit the road.” Don said to him. Then he unmuted himself from his call with Chief Torres. “Where were we?” he asked.

As he answered some more of her questions, he finished replacing the brackets, then closed the hood. “Thank you for your cooperation,” Don said as the call came to a close. “Although few people will know what you have done today, you will have done a great service to your nation. But, of course, I will extend my generosity and offer you payment of up to one and a half million dollars.”

“I’m sorry, did you say million?” Chief Torres asked in a shocked tone.

“Of course,” Don said. “We pay handsomely for research and information, and by giving us a live specimen, you are contributing more to alien research than most people have in decades. Unfortunately, however, you may have to incur some upfront costs.”

“How much are we talking about?”

“Twenty thousand dollars. I know it may be a lot –”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I receive more than that on a monthly basis from Mr. Williams.”

“Well, that amount will help us pay for the transfer of the suspect. I already have a trust fund set up for you to deposit the money into – and I will wire the one and a half million dollars to you by tomorrow at close of business.”

After giving her the banking information, Don thanked her once again and hung up the call. He cleaned the black grease from his hands with a rag, turned off the space heater, opened the garage door to the warehouse, then gathered his gloves and beanie cap and climbed into the Battle Shell. No sooner than he turned the key fob than the engine purred and came to life. He eased the Battle Shell onto the street, then shifted the gears to one, then two as he drove on the road, smiling with smug satisfaction when he found that the gear shifts were as smooth as butter. “Man, I’m good,” he said out loud. “Hey, Leo. I’m headed your way. I’ll be over there in about fifteen minutes.”

“Good. When you get closer, I’ll tell you where to park,” Leo said. Then he sneezed again.

Don frowned as he remembered that Leo had briefed him that he would be hiding on the roof of the precinct. “Stay warm, bro,” he said.

“I’m doing my best,” he said miserably.

As Don got closer to the police department, Leo gave him instructions to get to the parking garage. Don drove in and pulled the Battle Shell into the parking space labeled “VIP Parking,” just like he requested.

“I need you to do one last thing, Donatello,” his brother said. “Do you see the car parked next to you?”

Don peeked through the window of the Battle Shell and did a double take. A bright red Ford Mustang was parked in the chief of police’s parking space. “You mean the 1987 Mustang?” he said. “Do I.”

“I need you to unlock the trunk of that car. After that, you can join April. She’s waiting in her van,” Leo said. “And mind the cameras on the side of the building.”

Don peeked through the windows on side of the Battle Shell that faced the precinct and immediately spotted the camera he was talking about. “Copy that,” he said. He took off his headset and replaced it with his beanie before reaching into the glove compartment. There he kept a spare set of tools for unlocking doors. He opened the van door on the side facing away from the cameras and was immediately greeted by the biting cold. Shivering, he stealthily crouched behind the Mustang and began unlocking the trunk. The cold made it difficult to move his fingers, but after a few seconds of jiggling his tools in the keyhole, he felt an inner mechanism give and heard a click. The trunk opened just a crack.

He placed the tools in the pockets of his jacket and sighed. It was a shame that he couldn’t steal this car just like he had stolen Zanramon’s space cruiser. Part of him was tempted to ask Leo if he could – though given the stakes of the mission and the intricacies of the plan, the answer was going to be a resounding “no.” That wouldn’t stop him from dreaming, though. Don stood to his feet and walked towards the back of the parking garage until he found where April’s van was parked.

April was already in the driver seat, waiting. She unlocked the doors and he climbed into the back passenger seat, sighing with relief as soon as the hot air blowing from the heater met his skin. “Got the old Battle Shell up and running?” she said.

“Yep, she’s as good as new,” Don said. In the end, it was only a ten-minute fix. All the more reason to feel guilty. He hugged his arms to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” April asked, sensing his change in mood.

“Nothing,” he said. “I’m just… I don’t know. Disappointed in myself, I guess.”

“What for?”

“It’s just that, the problem ended up being so easy to repair,” he said. “If I had just fixed it as soon as my brothers discovered that something was wrong, we could have taken the Battle Shell to your place. Raph wouldn’t be sitting in a holding cell right now.”

“True,” April said. “But if he hadn’t gotten arrested, we wouldn’t have found out about the corruption going on in the precinct. And remember, this plan won’t just help Raph. It’ll take down a corrupt cop. We’ll be helping a lot of people.”

“Huh, I guess you’re right,” Don said. “Thanks.”

“Of course, Donny.”

It grew quiet except for the hum of the heater blasting warm air. Don looked out the window at the flurries that rained down hypnotically onto the streets outside the parking garage. After today, they would have helped a lot of people – but only if their plan worked.

Previous | Next (Next Estimated update: September 21)

[sporco-filth]

Episode 2 - The Crush

I feel like the early episodes are a bit slow since I'm mostly just getting the characters introduced and settled.

Also this is very Kevin-focused and so probably is less slobby than some. It has its moments though.

[The scene is Abbot’s. Felix is sitting at a table. Kevin approaches him.]

Felix: Morning!

Kevin: Good morning to you too. Welcome to Abbot’s, what can I get you?

Felix: I’ll have two poached eggs, the maple bacon, a hash brown, baked beans, sausage, sauce on the side, all on two slices of sourdough toast. 

[Kevin writes it all down as quickly as he can.]

Kevin: Just to double check: two poached eggs, bacon hash brown, beans, sausage and two slices of toast?

Felix: And the sauce on the side.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, sorry!

[He writes it down.]

Felix: You know, I haven’t seen you around here before. You’re new, right?

Kevin: I am. Today’s actually my first day.

Felix: Ah! I’m sorry for giving you such a tough order on your first day.

Kevin: It’s no problem. I’ve got to get used to this sort of thing at some point, right?

Felix: I’m Felix, by the way. I’m a bit of a regular here.

[Felix has started scratching his arse.]

Kevin: I’m Kevin. I better get your order to the kitchen, but it’s been a pleasure to meet you.

Felix: Pleasure to meet you too!

[He holds out his hand, the one that seconds ago was down the back of his pants. Kevin looks at it and a wave of emotions washes over him. He blushes and squawks something barely comprehensible along the lines of ‘I-have-to-go-busy!’ and he dashes off. Felix puts down his outstretched hand and sniffs it before sticking it back down his pants.]

Felix: He seems friendly.

~Opening Credits~

[At Abbott’s, it’s crowded and Kevin is rushing about taking orders. He gets to the kitchen.]

Kevin: Poached eggs for table 13, and table 8 wants two serves of French toast and a serve of the eggs benedict and―

[All of a sudden, a pipe bursts. Water sprays everywhere and Kevin is soaked as he tries to stem the flow to no avail. Customers start screaming. When all hope seems lost, a voice is heard.]

Felix: Step aside! I’m a plumber!

[Felix, carrying a toolkit, steps behind the counter and into the kitchen. He gets down under the sink and sets to work. Soon the water stops spraying and eventually he rises up and stands back, admiring his handiwork.]

Felix: Yep, that’ll do the trick.

Kevin: Thank you! Thank you!

Felix: It’s my job.

Kevin: I need to pay you.

Felix: Please, no, it was nothing and I’m glad to help you.

[He checks his watch.]

Felix: I better head off.

[He counts out some cash, pays for his meal and then heads out. Kevin just watches him go, admiringly.]

[At Kevin’s house. Everything is immaculate to the point it feels clinical. He neatly puts away his work things and lies down on his perfectly made bed. He stares up at the ceiling.]

Kevin (voiceover): That Felix is so sweet… I mean, I really ought to return the favour after the way he helped me today… Maybe I should make him some biscuits or something… I don’t think I have any sugar though…

[The next day, Felix arrives at Abbott’s. Kevin calls out to him.]

Kevin: Felix! Good morning!

Felix: Hey, Kevin! What’s up?

[He walks over to the counter. Kevin pulls out a box from under the counter.]

Kevin: I know you said it was nothing, but I had to give you something for what you did yesterday.

[Felix looks at the box. It is pure white with a red, satin ribbon.]

Felix: For me? Wow!

[He picks it up, his fingers leaving dirty marks all over it. He rips off the ribbon, totally ignoring the effort put into the presentation. He tosses the lid off and sees inside are rows of macarons, each looking absolutely perfect.]

Felix: Wooow… macaroons!

Kevin: Macarons.

[Felix doesn’t hear this. He sticks his hand in and grabs five at once, stuffing them into his gob. He munches down on them.]

Felix (mouth full): Theesh are delithush!

[Bits of macaron and spit land on Kevin’s face. He gently flicks it away. Felix swallows and burps.]

Felix: Where d’you get these?

Kevin: I made them myself.

Felix: No way! You’re amazing!

[He grabs another handful.]

Felix: I gotta thow theesh to Fed, he’d freak!

[Kevin blushes.]

Felix: Thank you so much! You are my favourite waiter, Kevin!

Kevin: Aw, well…

[He realises he’s acting unprofessional and stands up straight, clearing his throat.]

Kevin: Would you like me to get you a table?

Felix: Yeah! Thanks! These macaroons are great but I need something a little more filling!

[We get a montage showing several days of Kevin glancing over at Felix, messing things up because he’s distracted. One day, Kevin is holding an empty plate and just staring at Felix.]

Co-worker: Kevin! I’ve been calling you for ages. I need you to… wait, what are you staring at?

Kevin: Nothing! I mean, nothing! I mean what did you need me to do sorry!

Co-worker: Were you checking out that guy in the booth?

Kevin: What? No! What booth? Who?

Co-worker: You know, I’ve noticed there’s a time each day when your productivity slips, and thinking about it, it seems to always line up with whenever he’s here.

Kevin: That’s just a coincidence! I mean, I mean—I don’t—I mean…

Co-worker: It makes sense now: you like him, eh?

Kevin: I… sigh… I guess I’m not good at hiding it huh?

Co-worker: No, you’re blushing as red as anything. Heh, I don’t believe it: you’ve got a crush on the pig!

Kevin: He’s not a pig. He’s kinda cute.

Co-worker: Look at him!

[The scene cuts to show Felix at his table, digging around in his nose. He pulls out a piece of snot, admires his handiwork and eats it.]

Co-worker: He literally just ate his own snot. He’s disgusting!

Kevin: OK, so he has gross habits, but he’s a friendly guy.

Co-worker: Sure, but could you imagine living with someone like that? Like, surely it’d get on your nerves? And I’ve seen you, you wash your hands after touching your phone.

Kevin: Phones are rife with bacteria you know!

Co-worker: Exactly! You’re a neat freak, he’s a slob. It’d never work.

[Kevin looks at Felix downheartedly. Felix sees him looking and waves.]

Co-worker: Not to add to your woes, but I still need you to go restock the serviettes.

Kevin: Oh! Yes, of course, right away.

[Kevin’s house. He puts his work things away exactly like last time, like clockwork. He prepares himself dinner, precisely and methodically, and eats dinner. He thinks to himself.]

Kevin (voiceover): I guess I do have a crush on Felix… I mean, I always feel a burst of joy when I see him, and I get so flustered talking to him…

[He finishes eating and washes the dishes.]

Kevin (voiceover): But could I love him?

[He looks at the sparkling clean plate in his hand and then at the rest of his spotless house.]

Kevin (voiceover): I don’t think I could manage to live with a slob… but it wouldn’t hurt to try… I mean, it might break my heart but ‘better to have loved and lost’, right? I guess I just need to find a way to tell him…

[Kevin approaches Felix as he’s eating.]

Kevin: How’s the meal, Felix?

Felix (mouth full): Perfect, as always.

Kevin: Have you heard about the new film out―

[Felix swallows while Kevin talks, his stomach grumbles and he belches loudly into Kevin’s face, interrupting him and leaving him stunned.]

Felix: PHWOAH! That was a good one! Kyle should’ve been here to hear that!

[He chuckles and notices Kevin has stopped talking.]

Felix: Oh, sorry, heh… you were saying something?

[Kevin’s mind is melted and he stutters something about films and just says yeah and walks off staring into the middle distance. Felix watches him go, bemused but just shrugs it off.]

[Kevin gives Felix his food. When he puts the plate down, we see ‘call me’ and a phone number written in sauce. Felix doesn’t even see it as he inhales the food.]

[Felix is at the counter drinking a milkshake. Kevin is wiping down the benchtop.]

Kevin: So, Felix… are you seeing anyone?

Felix: I mean, I see a bunch of people.

[He motions around.]

Kevin: No, I mean, are you, like…going out with anyone?

Felix: Heh, I wish.

[Kevin brightens.]

Felix: But it’s impossible to get some of my friends out of the house.

[Kevin’s shoulders sag and he sighs.]

Kevin: Sorry, I’m trying to ask… are… are you single?

[He’s embarrassed, but Felix laughs.]

Felix: Ah, nah, I’m not dating anyone. Why? Are you trying to play matchmaker?

[Kevin is immediately flustered and defensive.]

Kevin: What! No! I-I mean, well I…

[Felix pats him on the back.]

Felix: I’m kidding. But if you do know anyone who’s into me, don’t be afraid to let me know.

[He finishes his drink and gets up.]

Felix: See you around!

Kevin: Uh… bye…

[Felix walks off, Kevin sadly watches him go and turns away from the camera. We see Felix has left a dirty handprint on Kevin’s pristine white shirt. He slumps down and sighs.]

[Back at Kevin’s apartment. Still dressed for work, he sits down on his bed, head in hands. He looks into the mirror across from the bed and talks to himself.]

Kevin: What am I doing… I need to be direct, I need to say how I feel or I’ll keep coming back like this every night…

[He sighs and gets up.]

Kevin: Who am I kidding… I’ll never tell him…

[He undresses and takes off his shirt. Holding it in his hands he sees the handprint. Tentatively he puts it up to his face and almost brushes it against his lips but pulls it away at the last minute. He throws it to the side and flops onto the bed.]

Kevin (muffled by the pillow): What’s wrong with me? I’m a freak…

[Kyle and Felix arrive at the cafe.]

Kyle: I was talking with Kevin and he’s got big plans for the Grand Final if the Pies make it. He asked me to ask you if you’re coming.

Felix: Yeah, sounds cool! Is he inviting Amy?

[They sit at their table. Kyle rolls his head back and sighs.]

Kyle: We have to, don’t we?

Felix: Oh! What if it’s Carlton v Collingwood?

Kyle: Don’t you fucking joke about that! You know how those two get! It’ll be a warzone…

[Kevin arrives with the menus.]

Kevin: Good afternoon, welcome to Abbot’s.

Kyle: Ta.

Felix: Thanks.

[They take the menus.]

Kevin: Let me guess…

[He points at Felix with his pen.]

Kevin: Two poached eggs, maple bacon, hash brown, baked beans, sausage ― sauce on the side ― and two slices of sourdough toast?

Felix: Exactly right. Your memory must be amazing!

[Kyle looks over his menu at the two of them.]

Kevin: Oh, no, I mean… it’s not like I can memorise everyone’s orders. I can only do it for special customers — I-I mean certain customers, you know, like our regulars, yeah…

[He gets flustered and takes away their menus.]

Anyway, I’ll put your order in and leave you two be.

Kyle: Wait, I haven’t…

[Kevin has already hurried off.]

Felix: He forgot to take your order. Want me to call him back?

Kyle: Don’t worry, he clearly has bigger things on his mind.

Felix: Like what?

[Kyle gives him a raised eyebrow look. Felix is still confused.]

Kyle: You couldn’t tell? He’s got the hots for you.

Felix: Me?

Kyle: Yeah, you. I haven’t seen someone as lovestruck since I first met Fed.

Felix: How did you meet Fed? You’ve never told me.

Kyle: Don’t get off topic. We’re talking about your love life now. So…?

Felix: So…?

Kyle: So, do you think he’s fuckable?

Felix: Why do you always have to be so crude?

Kyle: Answer the question, Felix.

Felix: I guess… I mean yeah, he’s pretty cute.

Kyle: Cute-cute or hot-cute?

Felix: I guess hot-cute?

Kyle: Hmm…

Felix: What?

Kyle: Nothing. I think he’s pretty hot too.

Felix: I said cute.

Kyle: You said hot-cute.

Felix: Because you put me on the spot! And anyway, you’ve already got a boyfriend!

Kyle: Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a cute bum when I see one.

Felix: I thought you said he was hot?

Kyle: He is hot, overall, but his bum’s cute. Like you said, he’s hot-cute.

[Felix is about to speak but Kyle stops him.]

Kyle: Shoosh! Cute Bum’s coming back.

[Kevin returns with Felix’s order.]

Kevin: All right, here we are.

[He places the plates down and then realises he hasn’t got anything for Kyle.]

Kevin: Oh! I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to take your order!

Kyle: No stress. I’m sure I’d be distracted by this cutie too if I were you.

Kevin: Ha, yeah… Huh?

[Kevin looks confused at Felix who’s looking miffed at Kyle. Kevin also looks at Kyle who takes Felix’s drink and downs it.]

Kevin: Kyle…

Kyle: Belch! Ah…

[He puts the drink down and stands up.]

Kyle: Thanks for the drink. I’ll see you later Felix.

[He goes out and Kevin and Felix are left awkwardly staring at each other.]

Felix: Kyle can be a bit—

Kevin: I-kinda-have-a-crush-on-you.

[Felix is speechless.]

Kevin: I’m sorry! If you don’t feel the same, that's fine, but I guess you must’ve already known, if what your friend said is any indication.

Felix: No, no that’s OK. Don’t feel bad. And actually, I didn’t know until he told me.

Kevin: Really? If I’m honest, I’ve been trying to tell you for a while, but, you know…

Felix: What?

Kevin: It’s embarrassing…

Felix: Why?

Kevin: Putting yourself out there and all. Thinking what the other person will say, wondering if they’ll think, I don’t know, like differently about you if you do tell.

Felix: I never really worry too much about what other people think.

Kevin: Perhaps I could stand to learn a lesson or two from you.

[They stand there sweetly but also awkwardly. Kevin then realises something with a start.]

Kevin: Wait, you never said if you felt the same. Not that you need to say anything! I mean—

Felix: Sure!

Kevin: Wait really?

Felix: Yeah! I mean, you’re good-looking and you’re always very friendly whenever I come here. Like how you always give me free seconds of pie.

Kevin: I hoped you’d notice that.

Felix: Of course I did. I might not be the most perceptive but when it comes to food I don’t forget. I’m sorry I didn’t put two and two together earlier.

Kevin: That’s OK. You know now and that’s the main thing.

[Kevin’s co-worker walks past, laden with plates.]

Co-worker: Hey Kevin! Enough flirting with the customers. Table five’s been waiting for you to pick up their orders.

Kevin: Ah! I’m sorry! Sorry Felix, I’ve got to go!

[He begins to go.]

Felix: Wait! Kevin!

[Kevin turns back.]

Felix: When’s your shift finish?

Kevin: At four.

Felix: I’ll meet you out the front of Abbot’s then, alright?

Kevin: Are you asking me out on a date?

Felix: I guess, yeah.

[Kevin is about to speak.]

Co-worker: KEVIN!

Kevin: Coming! Sorry again. See you at four.

[He rushes off.]

Felix (to himself): I’ve got a cute boyfriend…

[He starts to tuck into his meal]

Felix: I guess Kyle’s rudeness comes in handy sometimes…

~End Credits~

[trashyswitch]

Day 20: Relentless

Luigi, Mario, Dr. E. Gadd and the ghosts are renovating the hotel. But Mario starts practicing unsafe construction precautions. And Luigi...is forced to take the brunt of his mischief. And Dr. E. Gadd...is just having fun.

I hope you enjoy! :)

Polterpup and Luigi were working on the hotel with all the ghosts and Dr. E. Gadd. Mario was helping with some of the plumbing in the lobby, while Luigi was carrying over some flooring for the lobby, so it could be installed next. Luigi carried the flooring into the hall of the lobby, before placing it down and grabbing more from the truck. When Mario was done with the plumbing, he put the wrench back into his toolkit before walking up to Luigi. “Need help with that, Luigi?” Mario asked. 

“Nope. No, I got it.” Luigi replied, walking past him with a smile. 

Mario raised an eyebrow. “You sure?” He asked. 

Luigi nodded. “I’m sure.” He replied. 

Mario hummed with a smirk. “Look at you being all high and mighty.” Mario reacted, visibly impressed. “It’d be a shame if someone were to ruin that for you…” he teased, pushing Luigi’s shoulder gently. Luigi yelped and steadied himself, before looking at Mario with a warning look. “Don’t.” He warned. 

“Don’t what?” Mario asked, crouching under the flooring package and giving Luigi a push from the other side. “Don’t push you?” He asked, smirking. 

Luigi had to stop, and rebalance himself a bit. “Mario-” Luigi shot him an angry look. “If I fall and break my arm, it’ll be all your fault.” Luigi warned. 

Mario smirked and snuck under the flooring again back to the left side, and poked his side. “You ticklish?” Mario asked. 

Luigi squeaked and bit his lip, closing his right eye in an attempt to not double over. “NaA-! Mario!” Luigi let go of the flooring with one of his hands, and tried to push his brother away. But Mario dodged by stepping backwards, and poking his left side as he ran away. “MARIO!” Luigi shouted over his shoulder, only hearing the sound of Mario’s manic laughter as he kept running away. 

Luigi sighed and put the flooring in the correct area before turning back around. 

“Is Mario giving you trouble?” E. Gadd asked. 

Luigi chuckled. “A little bit.” He replied. 

“What will you do if he continues?” E. Gadd asked. 

“Get him back, probably.” Luigi replied. 

E. Gadd laughed and lowered his glasses so he could wink at him. “I’ll be sure to record you when the time comes.” He told him. 

Luigi smiled and winked back before turning to see where his brother was. Mario was grabbing the flooring as well, deciding to help Luigi load the flooring off the truck and into the lobby. Like Luigi, Mario carried it one at a time. 

Luigi walked up. “Want help?” Luigi asked. 

“Not if you’re gonna pull any tricks on me.” Mario warned him. 

Luigi grabbed the flooring. “Don’t you trust me?” Luigi asked. 

Mario sighed and let him carry it. “...Fair enough.” Mario muttered. 

While carrying the flooring, Luigi readied his shoulder under the flooring and checked to see if he could balance it on his shoulder alone. When he determined he could, Luigi readied his hands and poked both of Mario’s sides with 3 fingers each. “Boop!” Luigi added for extra effect. 

Mario shrieked and accidentally let go of the flooring, before dropping to the ground and holding his sides, giggling loudly. “Whahahat-” Mario looked up at Luigi, and widened his eyes. 

Luigi was holding the flooring, looking all tall and powerful above him. “Weakling.” Luigi teased.

Mario sighed and grabbed the flooring before putting it down onto the ground. “Okay.” He stood up and completely destroyed Luigi with tickles. “Take it back. Take it back, now!” Mario ordered. 

Luigi yelped and fell to the ground, rolling himself into a ball and covering up every ticklish spot he could using only his two arms. “MAHAHAHARIOHOHOHO! STTTAHAHAHAHAP!” Luigi yelled. 

“You asked for this the moment you offered to ‘help me’.” Mario told him before grabbing Luigi’s foot and removing the boot. “Now face your doom.” Mario ordered before tickling his brother’s foot. 

Luigi reached up to his brother as he shrieked, before flopping onto his back and wheezing. He covered his mouth with both his hands, muffling his newfound laughter. “MMMHMHMHMHMHMMM! MMMM! MMMHMHMHMHMHM!” Luigi shouted through his hand. 

“Awww, can’t take what you dish out?” Mario asked. 

Luigi uncovered his mouth. “YOHOHOHOU STAHAHARTED IHIHIT!” Luigi argued. 

“True…But I’m also going to end it.” Mario declared. “With TICKLES.” Mario yelled, going for his brother’s toes next. 

Luigi’s laughter went silent after that. Mario stopped a couple seconds later, letting Luigi breathe again. He patted his back and picked up the flooring, letting Luigi help him carry the flooring over. Finally, the boys were able to collaborate on helping with the renovation. 

Later, Dr. E. Gadd had bought pizza and was setting up dinner in the new lobby. Luigi was carrying a big table into the lobby, while a ghost was helping carry the table from the other side. While he was, Mario was holding the pizza and walking beside Luigi. 

“So tell me: How can I be strong like you? Tell me your ways.” Mario asked. 

Luigi chuckled. “Well…” Luigi adjusted the table in his grip. “First you gotta capture over a thousand ghosts of different shapes and sizes inside a vacuum on 3 separate occasions in your life…and then once you’ve done that, we’ll chat more.” Luigi replied. 

Mario laughed. “How many did you capture?” Mario asked. 

Luigi shook his head. “Too many.” He replied. 

Mario laughed. “Super Luigi captures thousands of ghosts 3 separate times…” Mario said. “And yet, the man still has a predictable weakness.” Mario teased, poking his side.

Luigi jumped and slapped Mario’s hand away as best he could. “Mario, stop!” Luigi warned. 

“Or what? You’re gonna defeat me with the power of suction, Mr. Clean?” Mario teased, poking his side a few more times. 

Luigi held his breath and tensed his abdomen, hoping the tickles would stop soon. Mario was playing the exact same dangerous game he had played earlier. He was poking him despite holding something heavy in his hands…and after all he’s been through, Luigi did NOT feel like breaking his arm today. Or any day! What happened to practicing safety first during construction projects?! 

The hammer ghost that was helping Luigi carry the table, had stopped for a moment to figure out what Mario was doing to him. Luigi was waving his hand around, trying to stop Mario’s fingers from hitting his side. But his tactics were ultimately fruitless, and Luigi was left standing in place, barely holding the table up while laughing hysterically. “YOHOHOHOU AHAHARE REHELENTLEHEHESS!” Luigi shouted at him.

“Would you kill me if I just…poked your hip?” Mario asked. 

“NOHOHO DOHOHON’T!” Luigi begged.

“No? No hip pokes?” Mario asked. “Not even a flutter?” He asked, bringing his fingers closer to his brother's hip. 

Luigi tried to step on his brother’s foot to stop him. “Duhude, I will kill you if you try it.” Luigi warned. 

Mario smirked and wiggled his fingers at him. “Do I dare risk ruining my relationship with my twin brother for a moment of personal gain?” Mario asked dramatically. 

Luigi managed to land one kick against the back of Mario’s knee. Trying to save the pizza, Mario fell over onto his knees and held the pizza outwards as he landed on his stomach. 

Seeing Mario’s face and reaction, Luigi started laughing at him as he walked away with the table still in hand. How Luigi was still holding onto that table, no one could say. 

Mario looked surprised and confused as to what had just happened. But the moment Luigi and the hammer ghost put the table down, Mario walked up, placed the pizza onto the table and squeezed both of his brother’s hips. “Screw brotherly love. Personal gain all the way.” Mario decided. 

Luigi shrieked and fell backwards right into Mario’s arms, cackling as he gripped Mario’s wrists. “GAAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA- MAHAHARIO NOHOHOHO!” Luigi cackled. 

“But Mario, yes!” Mario replied, digging his fingers into his hips. “You’ve been carrying so many things on your shoulders…physically and mentally…” He reminded him. “You need a break.” Mario told him. 

“IHIHI DOHOHO NOHOHOT! IHIHIHIHI’M FIHINE! IHIHI SWEHEHEHEAR!” Luigi argued. 

Mario smirked and dug slightly deeper in the inner hip. This made Luigi shriek so loud, every ghost stopped working and turned to look at them. Mario even winced as the shriek pierced his ears a little bit. 

When his ears stopped ringing, Mario giggled and let go of him. “Sure you are.” Mario muttered, watching as Luigi rolled onto the ground in front of him. 

Luigi got himself up onto his knees, dusting the dirt off his face and looking up at the construction group. All the different ghosts were staring at Luigi with shock. That same man that sucked them up into the poltergust multiple times now…had just squealed at such a high octave from a simple squeeze to the hips. 

Luigi blinked and grew some confidence for a few seconds. “Y-Yeah, I sound like a girl. But I still subdued all of you.” Luigi mentioned. 

The ghosts shrugged their shoulders and looked at each other, agreeing with Luigi’s statement. He was right. Luigi had subdued them. 

“And yet…there is one person who can subdue Luigi…” Mario mentioned. 

Luigi turned to Mario with a nervous look on his face. “Mario…no.” He warned.

Mario squeezed both his sides. “And that’s me.” Mario replied.

“MarioNOHOHOHOHO-!” Luigi shouted, doubling over. 

“I am the one and only person who can subdue Luigi without fail.” Mario explained. “And it’ll stay that way till the day I die.” Mario concluded. 

Luigi kicked his feet as he struggled to get out of his brother’s grasp. Why?! Why was his brother tickling him so much today?! Is it entertaining seeing him laugh like that? Or did he want to make a fool of his brother? 

Will he ever get a proper answer? Probably not. 

And though Dr. E. Gadd DID end up getting a video recording…it ended up being of Luigi getting his comeuppance by Mario once again…

And all Luigi could do…was hide his face as he heard his own laughter through the recording.

[genshin-impact-redesign]

hiii again! Connected to my previous ask about Natalia, I read the advice and it sent me down a whole redesign rabbit hole that I exited with a few questions about how to add some elements.

Despite Natalia’s design being inspired by military nurses, she is a doctor of prosthetics and a battlefield medic. In her current design, I took inspiration from ww1 VAD nurses’ uniforms but swapped out the apron for a lab coat with a belt. I also ditched the nurse veil/cap.

However, as Natalia’s character has developed I think an apron like the nurses she is inspired by and adding a nurse veil or cap would help her design. She does take on a lot of duties that a nurse would do as well as doing doctor duties. She’s very burnt out and overworked to say the least lol.

An apron would hold her tools for designing prosthetics in easy access and give her a place to wipe her hands on. The veil or cap would keep her head warm, we all know how cold Sheznayah is.

The tricky thing about adding any elements signifying her status as a doctor is that nothing can really be added around her chest because it would be covered up by the harness for her extra arms.

My question is what elements could I add to her redesign that would still let people looking at her tell she is a doctor while not having them be covered by her harness?

oo!! Im glad you took the advice to heart!! Also i love being able to put my studies to use :)

If we look at the differences between a nurse, and field medic, we can combine elements of these to get the fem look a nurse uniform gives while also getting the doctor vibe.

I'll add a tldr & more concise answer to your question at the end because I'm about to YAP

(Advice under the cut)

If we look at war-time nurses, we see that they wear aprons and head covers to keep themselves clean while working with patients. They don't have to perform any medical care outside of a tent or dedicated place, so there's less need for them to carry tons of equipment on them! Maybe pockets to transport stuff easily when moving between stations.

Now, field medics have to carry a LOT on them, since they don't have access to a stable supply of medical equipment - anything they need has to be on their person. So, they have giant utility belts, pockets of various items, bags, satchels, toolkits. The reason an apron doesn't work is because items could easily fall out of the big pockets when they're moving about.

Doctors who aren't on the field would standard army uniform and some sort of scrub/covering/apron to keep themselves clean. So similar to a field medic but without the need to carry so much as anything needed would be stored where they worked.

So! In order for her to look more like a field medic, she has to be carrying a lot more readily available on her. A belt around the waist with pouches and a satchel, or more secure pockets on her dress/apron might help with that :D

Also, there can be stuff attached to the harness that secures her arm. Harnesses are great places to add extra design elements.

AND stuff CAN cross over eachother, as long as it remains clear and readable. See here:

He's got a lot of bags, belts, harnesses, etc, but the straps on his shoulders still have a clear shape and design, and thus remain visibly different from the harness across his chest.

A beret, military cap, or a hat of that sort might read as more "doctor" or in command compared to a nurse's veil. Keep the structure of the nurse's dress, including the apron, because it looks nice and feminine, has a good bottom-heavy silhouette, and just makes for good character design. I'm especially fond of the high-neck flat collar on the nurses in the photo I shared :D

Lastly, what might help is making a reference board! We have a specific way of laying them out in my Comic & Concept art class.

find a mix of references; some for utility (e.g functional bags, clothes), some for design (can be entirely unrelated to what you're drawing, doesn't need to be medical!), and some for form (things that give you nice ideas for the shape of stuff).

as well as a mix of real world references and a mix of what other artists are doing.

organise each category (utility/design/real world/drawn/etc) into its own area on the board, just roughly

you can zoom in on sections and just doodle ideas based on what you see

It's a good way to almost randomise the ideas you're getting, but still have it be specific.

This is a moodboard I made for an assignment where we had to design edo-period objects of modern things. I had to make a plant pot, phone booth, and a traffic light. There's a mix of utility (the actual items I had to draw), form (interestingly shaped items) and design (actual edo period artifacts, items, etc) :D

I'd zoom in on an area and just mix aspects of what I saw to see if it worked.

TL;DR

What elements could you add to her design to keep her appearing like a doctor?

wartime beret/cap instead of a veil

more bags, satchels, pockets, etc, which can ALSO be added onto her arm harness to give things extra utility

chunky belt (this'll also be nice for bringing in her waist and making her dress look more flowy <3) for extra pockets or storage

additional layers for pockets, can be added to her apron/an extension of her apron basically

additional CLOTHING layers (coat over dress, dress over shirt, etc) because that can just imply bulk, which implies she can carry more without need to draw it

And for a reference board:

gets IRL examples of both wartime and modern doctors

get IRL examples of clothes you just like, hats, accessories

examples of genshin characters to be inspired by

examples of fellow artist's interpretations of fantasy doctors, wartime doctors, etc

Mix that together and I'm sure you'll get what you need :D

[sunriseriverrvparkcampground]

RV Maintenance Tips for Traveling Through Crawfordville, Georgia

Traveling through Georgia, especially near areas like Crawfordville, offers picturesque views, tranquil surroundings, and the ultimate escape into nature. As you journey, it’s crucial to ensure your RV is in tip-top shape. Whether you’re staying at Sunrise River RV Park or passing through RV parks near Augusta, GA, maintaining your RV is vital to ensure a smooth and enjoyable trip. Below are some essential RV maintenance tips to keep in mind as you explore this beautiful region.

1. Regular Tire Inspections

One of the most critical aspects of RV maintenance is tire care. Before heading to any RV park near Augusta, GA, check your tires for proper inflation, wear, and tear. The varied terrain in Georgia, from highways to forest trails, can strain your tires. Ensure they are inflated to the manufacturer's recommended pressure. Also, inspect the treads for any signs of excessive wear, and replace tires if necessary. A blowout on the road can be dangerous and inconvenient, so this simple check can save you a lot of trouble.

2. Check and Maintain Brakes

Given the hilly landscapes around Crawfordville, ensuring your brakes are in excellent condition is essential. Regularly check the brake pads, rotors, and fluid levels. If you notice any squeaking, grinding, or decreased braking efficiency, get them serviced immediately. The peace of mind knowing your brakes are functioning correctly will make your travel through Georgia’s scenic routes much safer.

3. Inspect Roof Seals and Vents

Georgia’s climate can be unpredictable, with sudden rain showers even in sunny conditions. To avoid leaks and water damage, inspect the seals around your RV's roof, windows, and vents. Look for any cracks or deteriorated seals, and reapply sealant if necessary. This small step can prevent costly repairs later, especially if you're planning to stay at Sunrise River RV Park, where the natural surroundings are best enjoyed dry and leak-free!

4. Keep the Electrical System in Check

Your RV’s electrical system is its lifeline, powering everything from the refrigerator to the air conditioning. Before you park at any RV park near Augusta, GA, inspect your batteries, wires, and connections. Make sure your batteries are fully charged and in good condition. Test your generator to ensure it’s functioning properly, especially if you plan to camp in more remote areas like Crawfordville. Keeping a multimeter handy can help you diagnose any electrical issues that may arise on the road.

5. Monitor Your Water System

Georgia’s humidity and temperatures can lead to unique challenges for your RV’s water system. Regularly check your freshwater, gray, and black water tanks for leaks or signs of wear. Ensure that the hoses are in good condition and securely connected. If you plan on staying at Sunrise River RV Park, you’ll appreciate having a fully functional water system for showers and kitchen use. Additionally, consider investing in a water pressure regulator to prevent high-pressure water at certain campsites from damaging your RV’s plumbing.

6. Keep Your HVAC System Clean

The summer heat in Georgia can be intense, making your RV’s HVAC system essential for comfort. Clean the filters regularly and ensure that the air conditioning unit is functioning properly. If you're visiting Crawfordville during the warmer months, you’ll want to stay cool and comfortable after a day of exploring. Routine maintenance of your HVAC system will keep you and your family comfortable throughout your journey.

7. Stock Up on Essential Supplies

Crawfordville offers natural beauty and serenity, but it’s also essential to be prepared for any situation. Ensure you have a well-stocked toolkit that includes wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers, and any other tools specific to your RV model. Carry spare fuses, bulbs, and essential fluids like oil, coolant, and windshield washer fluid. Being prepared will ensure that minor issues don’t escalate into significant problems, allowing you to enjoy your stay at any RV park near Augusta, GA, or beyond.

8. Plan for Waste Disposal

Responsible waste management is vital for the environment and the longevity of your RV’s sanitation system. Before arriving at Sunrise River RV Park, familiarize yourself with the park's waste disposal facilities. Ensure that your black and gray water tanks are emptied and clean. Carry appropriate chemicals to treat your tanks, reducing odors and buildup. Keeping your waste management system in top shape ensures a pleasant experience for you and your fellow campers.

9. Check Your Propane System

Propane is essential for cooking, heating, and refrigeration in many RVs. Before embarking on your journey through Georgia, inspect your propane tanks and lines for leaks. Make sure your tanks are securely mounted and that your regulator is functioning correctly. It’s also wise to keep a carbon monoxide detector in your RV for safety. Regularly inspecting your propane system will allow you to enjoy meals and hot showers without worry during your stay.

10. Protect Against Pests

Crawfordville, with its lush landscapes and natural beauty, can also be a haven for insects and small animals. To protect your RV from unwanted guests, seal any gaps or cracks where pests might enter. Regularly clean your RV’s interior, removing food crumbs and trash that could attract pests. If you’re staying at Sunrise River RV Park, you’ll want to focus on the natural beauty of the area, not on dealing with ants or mice inside your RV!

11. Keep Your RV Clean

Traveling through Georgia can expose your RV to dust, dirt, and debris. Regularly wash your RV to maintain its appearance and protect its exterior from damage. Pay special attention to the undercarriage, especially after traveling on dirt roads or through muddy areas. Cleaning your RV not only keeps it looking good but also helps prevent rust and corrosion, ensuring it stays in excellent condition for years to come.

12. Stay Informed About Local Road Conditions

As you travel through Georgia, staying informed about local road conditions can help you avoid unexpected delays or hazards. Check weather forecasts and road reports, especially during the rainy season, when roads can become slick or flooded. Knowing the conditions ahead of time allows you to plan your route and adjust your driving to ensure a safe journey to Sunrise River RV Park or any other destination in the area.

Conclusion

Maintaining your RV is essential to ensure a safe, comfortable, and enjoyable journey through Crawfordville and the surrounding areas of Georgia. Whether you’re heading to Sunrise River RV Park or exploring RV parks near Augusta, GA, following these maintenance tips will keep your RV in top condition, allowing you to focus on the adventure ahead.

From regular tire checks to ensuring your water and electrical systems are functioning properly, taking the time to maintain your RV will enhance your travel experience. By being proactive with your maintenance routine, you can enjoy the natural beauty and serene landscapes of Crawfordville, Georgia, without worry. Safe travels!

[wiffhuff]

HEY HEY YALL ARE GETTING MORE

I uh finished this just a few minutes ago. As soon as I posted the Elma, I got right at work for Lin. In my AU, Lin is junior high student with a Human Tatsu (As cursed as it sounds). She always carries tools around so she can fiddle with things, and (at the unlikely event of it happening) fix stuff!

Some notes:

- I’m rn playing with the idea of Lin either being Elma’s neighbour, or her adopted sister (In this case, Lin’s parents will have passed away and Elma’s family decided to adopt her).

- I just realized because of all the age adjusting I have to do for this AU, Lin is the only one who gets to keep her original age lol. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but I found that interesting

- In the AU, Elma and Lao dislike each other since Elma is a model student whereas Lao is a troublemaker. However, Lao meets Lin down the road and becomes friends with her. It causes awkward tension when Lin tries to hang with them b/c both of them are like “augh I hate you so much but we can’t let Lin know that”.

Translation notes:

From the left (Going down) - Lin exclaiming “With my toolkit, I, Lin Lee Koo, can fix ANYTHING!” while Tatsu says “Lin, sit down before the teacher scolds you”, Lin playing a video game with the blurb “Trying to beat Tatsu in an online game”, and Lin shouting “I’m faster than you, Tatsu!” as Tatsu replies “You got a head start!”

From the right (Going down): Lin talks to Elma asking “Hi Elma! How was your day?” in which Elma responds “It was...bearable. Had to deal with this troublemaker, ugh”, a model of Lin’s uniform with descriptions like “White short-sleeved shirt with a vest”, “Toolbelt”, “Short skirt”, “Black stockings”, a pattern showing how Lin’s uniform is patterned with directions “less space”, “more space” to describe the stripe spacing, a showcase of Lin’s monado hairclips that is called “Simplified metal hairclip”, and finally a visual of Lin’s tool kit that includes “scissors”,  “screwdriver”, and “pencil”.