#like you have no idea who you are and your self esteem is in shambles but you're an introvert

[lovekz]

what does he have that I don’t?

syn -> rindou is in shambles after you reject him.

warnings : heartbroken, rindou has low self esteem, angst, no happy ending, not proofread

-

“I’m sorry, I don’t like you like that.”

six words rindou dreaded hearing.

he stood before you, holding a basket of your favorite things and a stupid teddy bear.

just to hear those words leave your mouth.

embarrassment settles in before heartbreak does.

he’d gone all out, gone to all your favorite places and even got advice from ran.

to hear you say those words, and watch your face make that goddamn expression.

it looked like you were disgusted with him, just a little bit.

the basket hangs by his thigh, rindou unable to swallow.

“I-I have a boyfriend already.” you whispered to him, moving closer.

he stops you in his tracks when he tosses the basket into the sidewalk.

the bear is now dirty, and the sweets scatter all over the floor.

the candle shattered into pieces.

rindou walks away. the walk of shame, he thinks.

he can hear you calling after him, but he doesn’t turn around for you.

why didn’t he know you had someone?

why had everyone always been so much better than him each time?

he walked all the way home in silence, and even then he slouched on the doorstep.

he couldnt go inside.

ran would tease the absolute shit out of him.

-

“rindou! come out!” ran called, banging on his brother’s door.

when rindou made it in the house, he went straight to his room and didn’t come out until he had to pee or brush his teeth.

and shower, of course.

ran wasn’t sure if he was eating, or what had happened.

but he got a pretty good idea when he realized you had stopped coming over.

you rejected him, and you weren’t nice about it.

in his eyes at least.

rindou won’t respond, won’t even make a noise.

after his shower, he’d just sit in his bed and stare at his torn up room.

wondering why he couldn’t be better and what was wrong with him.

what made you give him that look?

was he ugly? did he have boogers?

or was it just his face that was so unattractive that you possibly lied?

ran had given up trying to reach rindou after a few days, letting mope in his room by himself.

but today, ran was actually leaving the house.

a few knocks on his door caught his attention, not like he cared though.

he won’t leave.

“I don’t know if you’re awake rin.. but I’m going to izana’s house. you’ll have the house to yourself. I’ll bring you back food if you want?” ran suggested.

when he didn’t receive a response, ran sighed and began walking down the steps.

a door opening caught his attention, making the older turn around.

rindou was standing there, dressed with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

him being in pajamas was besides the point.

“can I come with you?” rindou asked quietly.

if ran knew inviting him to izana’s house would get him out the room, he would’ve done it ages ago.

-

when they get there, izana immediately beams at the sight of rindou.

“dude where’ve you been? I’ve been texting and calling.” izana complains, letting them in.

rindou doesn’t respond to him, immediately walking into the living room and sitting in the free seat next to kakucho.

izana’s brothers, mikey and shinichiro, were sitting on the couch playing cod.

rindou gives a short greeting, and offers a fist bump to kakucho.

ran slouches on the floor beside izana, having idle conversation about something rindou doesn’t bother to understand.

it’s only when izana finishes talking, he notices his brothers.

“what the hell? why are you playing my game?!” izana complains, looking at the two.

“just chill izana. I’m gonna get off when my girl gets here.” mikey says idly, never looking away from the game.

kakucho had only given shinichiro the controller so he could try.

izana rolls his eyes and slouches in his seat, complaining lowly under his breath.

the door bell rings loudly and mikey launches the controller at izana, who catches it.

the boy damn near dies going to open it, a big smile on his face.

rindou hears the two talking, before the conversation grows louder.

although his attention is on the tv, he knows your voice pretty well.

your supposed boyfriend was mikey, izana’s brother.

and of course, you notice him desperately hiding in kakucho’s shadow.

“rindou?” you call quietly, blinking to see if you’d seen correct.

he nods, not offering you a glance or a greeting.

he doesn’t know if his heart could handle it.

“you guys know each other?” mikey asks, looking between the two of you.

“no.” “yes.” the two of you say in sync, rindou’s heart swelling even more.

you look upset that rindou had claimed he hadn’t known you, which he obviously has.

izana had put two and two together, sitting next to ran and nudging him with his jaw on the floor.

everyone knew the two of you knew each other, except for mikey himself.

“we know each other. can I talk to you for a sec?” you say, a hint of hurt in your voice.

rindou sighs quietly, before stepping outside to talk with you.

ran calls for a group huddle immediately.

-

the two of you sit outside, waiting for one another to speak.

though rindou doesn’t have anything to say.

you sigh, taking a deep breath and being the bigger person.

“where have you been?” you start off, looking at him from your knees.

“been home.” rindou responds, not too interested in the conversation.

you squint your eyes in confusion.

you had been over to the haitani house multiple times and never got a response from him.

it was always ran answering or no one at all.

“I’ve been calling. and visiting you.” you explain, frowning a bit.

“phones dead.” rindou shrugs, leaning back into the seat and rocking it back and forth.

not only had rindou broken his charger, but he broke his phone after realizing.

it was one of the many reasons he hasn’t answered anyone’s texts or calls.

though even if it wasn’t broken, he’s sure he’d just watch it ring like he did on the first day.

he didn’t wanna upset you with his face again

“why did you say you don’t know me?” you questioned, growing aggravated.

“cause I don’t.” rindou responds, still sounding uninterested.

but the more you listen, it doesn’t sound like he’s uninterested.

it sounds like he isn’t there, emotionally or mentally.

maybe even physically, but you weren’t sure.

“don’t you have a sentence to say? not two or three words?” you scoff, looking at him more offended than you ever have.

“what does he have that I don’t?” rindou questions, finally growing aggravated with you.

you stay silent, looking at rindou with shock.

it was the first time tonight he had looked at you, and he looked like he was in pain.

he definitely wasn’t as there as you thought he was before this.

he looked faded, like he wasn’t paying attention.

and maybe he wasn’t.

“rin-“ “what is it? does he treat you better? does he dress better? is he funnier? huh?” rindou cuts you off, listing things.

he was rambling now.

talking about mikey’s haircut, his bike, his gang, his face shape, his height, anything that could come to mind.

only you realize that he started to cry in the middle of it.

you had really hurt his feelings, just by saying a few words and making a face.

he stops in the middle of, hiding his face in his hands.

you rub his back as he cried, not sure of what else to do to help him.

“how long have you been together?” rindou asks, curious and having a clear enough head.

“..a month, but I’ve known him since september.” you whisper, sniffing to yourself.

rindou nodded, standing up from his seat.

“I have loved you for a year, seven months, and ten days. you’ve only known him for two.” rindou states, not sparing you a glance.

he doesn’t wait for a response, beginning to walk back into the house.

you grab his arm, stilling him in his spot. you didn’t want him to go.

“are you okay rindou?” you questioned, frowning at his facial expression.

he looked completely gone.

he pauses for a minute, before snatching his arm out of your desperate hands.

“your boyfriend is waiting.” rindou says, before walking back into the house and leaving you outside.

the breeze picks up, making you wonder if you made the right choice.

-

when rindou walks in the house, he’s alone.

emma’s in the kitchen, stirring something in a new pot.

she wasn’t there when rindou walked in the first time, but he couldn’t be sure.

he had his head down to look at his shoes and count his steps.

she notices him immediately though, beaming a smile at him.

“hey rindou. heard you weren’t feeling well, so I’m making soup.” emma says, gesturing to the pot.

rindou nods, offering her a smile. “thank you emma, but you don’t have to.” rindou replied.

emma shakes her head and shoos him away.

she reminds him of his mother sometimes when she does little things like this.

rindou makes his way upstairs to izana’s room, ignoring the eyes watching him from the living room.

it was mikey, rindou realized. but it hadn’t mattered.

rindou knew he didn’t stand a chance.

when he makes it to izana’s room, they were all laying around relaxing.

“oh hey rin. how’d it go?” kakucho said, looking up at him.

rindou shrugs, dropping on the floor next to izana.

izana nudges him playfully, shooting him a smile.

“em’s making that soup you like.” izana saids, wiggling his shoulders.

“I know.” rindou says, leaning his head back a bit.

ran doesn’t say anything, sprawled out on izana’s bed with his hands folded over his stomach.

and it’s best that he doesn’t.

“don’t worry rin. 10 years from now, she’s gonna have five kids and be miserable.” izana says, nudging him again.

the sound of it makes rindou chuckle.

he’ll just have to pray he can get over you.

[helperhome]

Reconnecting the Mind, Body, and Soul

(The beginning of a very long discussion) 1/?

If you're anything like me, then you've probably spent some time struggling with your self-image, esteem, or your entire being as a whole.

By experiencing an abundance of trauma, the mind, body, and soul will begin to distance themselves from each other. Eventually, they may separate, leaving you at war between the three as the power struggle ensues. In my own experience, I have lived in a body I felt disconnected from entirely. With a mind that became an uncontrollable being of its own hell-bent on sabotaging my body, it left my soul aching for love, connection, and acceptance. That ache was felt and expressed throughout every part of my existence. It warped my reality, pushing me towards anyone who showed the “affection” I craved. This caused a messy domino effect to be triggered and my life fell into shambles.

But things always have the ability to improve. Remember this. 

With time, constant effort, and help from professionals in the field, I was able to reconnect with myself again. While the connections aren't as tight as they could be, they become tighter with every day that passes.

This is no easy feat, and if you lack a support system it makes it so much harder. But it is 100% possible and worth all the pain included in the journey.

How do you reconnect yourself?

Here are some supplies you'll need for this process:

a therapist/counsellor to bounce ideas off of

a journal & writing utensils - listen, I know y'all are (probably) sick of hearing about journaling... but trust me on this one

a place you can be completely open with yourself - this should be the place that makes you feel the most comfortable and free

Perhaps some tea or a calming incense to help relax yourself

To begin, we will be answering some baseline questions so that we can track our progress as we go through this process. 

First, you should start by asking yourself a few things:

How do I feel at this current moment?

Why do I feel this way?

What can I do to improve how I feel in this current moment?

Once you have that written down, take a minute to answer those questions and take action if necessary. You’re going to want to become accustomed to writing the things you ponder so that you can reference them throughout your journey. Next, think about your mind, body, and soul. Assess them as they are, where they are, but be sure to avoid assigning judgments upon them. Accept the current situation and where they stand. Inner acceptance on any level is incredibly important in all of the processes I plan on discussing. Think about it this way, if you can’t accept yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? 

Take note in your journal of how things are within you. For example, at the beginning of the process, I would have written something like, “I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction. My mind hates my body and the way the world perceives it, while my soul hates both. The dysfunction I feel is radicalizing my entire being, leaving me drained. I want a new start with a whole new mind, body, and soul. This is so unfair…” 

Be blunt and raw with what your reality is. Don’t focus on refining everything, just put it out the way it presents itself to you. Once you write that out, take some time and meditate on the things you have written. This can be for hours or days, however long you need before you take the next steps.

[markwatsonsbooks]

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[ella-cooper]

"Yeah, basically, I don't know how kids do it these days, if I had that shit as a kid my self esteem would have always been in shambles." Not that it wasn't now but Ella was at least aware that they were hot and funny and pretty good company. They were just...terrible at commitment, often selfish and made decisions that were often not within their self interest or benefit. They didn't think much of who they were at the core and it was why they struggled so hard to meet all the potential people saw in them. "Well you see hobbies are these things that bring you joy or at least that's what my sister says. People waited? That's crazy devotion it's kind of cultish but I'm about it. Glad they're at least investing in your talent. Speaking of, I do still have a little space on my neck here," they said with a smirk and tapped their neck on both sides, never having fully committed to tattoos on their neck thus far. "You know, I'm still deeply honored that you named your dog after me and my family. I know it's just cause you love us so much though, you don't have to say it out loud. I'm sure he's happiest to have you back." Ella rolled their eyes dramatically, "With the ladies? What ladies? Don't make me tell Maeve...but yeah I could teach you. You'd be like a giant on skates for a moment but then you'll get it. You just gotta keep at it and risk a few bruises first but I think you can handle it. Then we can start a skate gang," Ella said before gasping with wide eyes. "Now there's an idea. Hmm," they said to themselves with a nod, their mind racing with thoughts all at once. "I'm a genius."

"Social media, the bane of any relationship," he mused, taking a sip of his drink and shaking his head. He wasn't super active on his own, but he understood the appeal of lurking; it was how he'd found out the majority of the things he'd learned about people around town. "Hobbies? What are those?" he smirked. "Work's been pretty fuckin' crazy, honestly. I guess people were waitin' for me to get out to get an appointment which is both awesome and stupid at the same time. Would you wait ten years? 'Cause it would've been ten years if I wasn't such a good ol' boy." He laughed. "Other than that, I'm just makin' up time with Cooper. Got him like a year before I went in, but he still remembers me, which is cool. You wanna teach me how to skate, though? Think that'd help me win the ladies?"

[brokebuckkmountain]

I’m entering a strange new chapter in my life right now. Very lonely, very empowering, and overall really making me realize how much I’ve grown tf up.

Like, I am in a good upswing right now, as hesitant as I am to say that (because I know how tenuous they can be). I know I can’t keep everything great forever, but I’m enjoying the energy that comes from crawling out of a depressive episode and dedicating my time to stuff that matters. My 25th is around the corner and I feel so goddamn mature.

I just hit a point where I realized I needed to cut as much as the negative from my life as I could. And if that left me with two whole friends, so be it. I have so much more energy to focus on other shit when I’m not constantly getting mad at the people around me or mentally drained by the shit they say to me. It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot easier to manage my mental health when I’m the only person I answer to, not friends making backhanded comments that make me feel like shit and egg on the issues they know I’m dealing with. When you’re the type of person who isn’t necessarily kind to themselves, it’s easy to want to find refuge in your friends as a support system. But if those friends only poke at your insecurities and treat you poorly, you might just wind up taking care of yourself out of spite. If you want a job done right, do it yourself- and if no one is going to love me right, goddammit I’m going to do it.

My job remains insanely stressful, especially with my promotion. But it’s nice that the only drama in my life I can clock out of and forget about once I get home. It’s not perfect, and I do get stressed out constantly and have been pulling so much overtime it’s exhausting. But. I’ve been on my daily routine lately. Working out, taking my vitamins, solid sleep schedule, knocking out errands, doing all the small things I wanted to do before but always let slip through the cracks (like side work projects and goodie bags for my coworkers and keeping in contact with acquaintances). I actually have the mental energy to text people back, go on impromptu dinner invites, and clean my apartment.

It’s not lost on me that when I dropped the people constantly stressing me out, my daily moods got way better. How instant the change was threw me though.

This is such a weird, lonely, empowering time for me. I really don’t have any close friends, just coworkers I can hang out with outside of work every now and then and weekly phone calls with the people that live far away. I don’t do much outside of going to work and going home, but I’m okay with it. If I have to buckle down for a few months, focus on making my money and working on my mental health, so be it. Yeah, I’m a social butterfly who is trying not to go insane without constant plans and hangouts and parties. But I’d rather be a little bored than out and about with people that make me unhappy, leaving me so emotionally drained I don’t have energy for myself.

I know I’ve been panicking about the big 25th birthday (as I do for every year older I get, but especially this one). But if this is what my brain is like fully developed, maybe I don’t mind so much. Teenage me would be horrified at the lack of drunken nights out and romantic flings. At the fact that I always do the same errands on a certain weekday, get a ton of fulfillment from a job well done, and spend my free nights in. But I’m so much calmer. When the bad moments hit, I feel more capable of working through them and getting myself back to an emotionally stable state.

I had no idea how much my toxic friends were making me worse, until I decided I didn’t want them around anymore. I’ll probably fuck around and dye my hair a new color to signify this new chapter in my life. There’s a lot changing at the same time right now. But I’m super okay with it. Whatever comes next, I know I can handle it because right now I’ve never been more comfortable with my own company. If I’ve got to be on my own for a few months, at least I’ll be with someone who actually wants me to succeed.

[silver-wield]

Cloud had every opportunity to validate his relationship between he and Tifa. He doesn’t tell aerith who he gave the flower to and when aerith asks if tifa is his girlfriend he’s quick to say no and when she says “she’s something special, right?” And he says “it’s not like that” that doesn’t sound like someone who’s in love... yet when Tifa questions the relationship he has with aerith, he can’t even answer... As a cloti fan I don’t think I can shobghis anymore... 😔

Ok, let’s breakdown how Cloud’s behaviour works again. 

Not that some people understand that having mental illness and crafting a false persona to protect their own psyche means they do things that are contradictory to their own true feelings at times. They seem to think SOLDIER Cloud is another way of saying “He’S jUsT zAcK”. Which isn’t that at all and they need to stop purposely misunderstanding the point.

SPOILERS FOR CLOUD’S ENTIRE BACKSTORY. 

Cloud: introverted, socially awkward, no father figure, low self-esteem, lives in a very small town with little culture and few kids his age. Of those kids, the majority don’t like him because they’re assholes (yeah I said it).

Tifa: childhood friend and crush, who isn’t an asshole to him because she’s a literal fucking sweetheart (don’t even try and @ me). Shy, reserved, polite, kind, also can be reckless af.

Age 8, Tifa’s mother dies and she gets it into her head that she can go visit her at the top of mt Nibel because that’s where she gets the impression the lifestream touches the planet.

Cloud (9), follows her and her friends up the mountain and stays with her as they chicken out. He and Tifa have an accident, which results in Tifa being unconscious for 7 days. During that time she’s unconscious (but yknow some ppl say she should’ve still cleared up the misunderstanding WHILE UNCONSCIOUS, despite never learning of it even after she woke up), her friends throw Cloud under the bus to her father as the reason why she went there. Tifa’s father puts all the blame for it on him (douchebag move, but he’s an upset parent who’s just lost his wife and now doesn’t know if his daughter will live or die. I’m not excusing him, but he’s got reasons other than “let’s victimise Cloud”.) Tifa’s father tells Cloud that if he isn’t capable of protecting her then he should keep his distance.

Cloud resolves to become stronger and thanks to Stamp propaganda and Sephiroth hero worship he decides to become a SOLDIER.

Tifa never says anything about this being what she wants. She likes Cloud just as he is.

Skip forward a few years and Cloud’s 14, has kept his word not to hang out with Tifa, not that it stops her wanting his attention.

The promise scene occurs, where Cloud tries to get Tifa to admit she likes him and Tifa gets Cloud to promise to return to town just once so she can see him again (because these idiots have no idea they mutually like each other in a romantic sense).

Skip forward another 2 years.

Cloud (16) isn’t a SOLDIER, but he’s got to go to Nibelheim with Zack and Sephiroth. He hides from Tifa, ashamed that he isn’t the man he promised he’d become.

Tifa (15) who’s massively disappointed Cloud wasn’t with them, ends up seriously injured by Sephiroth after he loses his marbles. 

Cloud appears and saves her, killing Sephiroth. 

Zangan takes Tifa away from Nibelheim - and good thing too or she’d have ended up a test subject with the others.

Cloud and Zack are stuffed in chambers to be experimented on.

4 years go by and Zack saves Cloud who’s suffering mako poisoning. They make it to Midgar, which takes around a year, where Zack then dies, leaving his sword to Cloud. 

Cloud still suffering from mako poisoning and now also with PTSD and all his other previous issues, shambles into Midgar where Tifa finds him.

Here’s the bit people like to misunderstand.

Cloud is infected with Jenova cells, which warp his perception and make him susceptible to Sephiroth’s control. (This is proven by a moment at the end of the game where Cloud’s hand twitches in response to Sephiroth asking for his help)

Zack told Cloud a lot of stories, both before he was poisoned and after. These combined with Jenova’s mind warping, the mako poisoning itself and Cloud’s own severe trauma allowed him to craft a false persona for himself, which he needed to protect his real psyche from a further mental breakdown.

Cloud is a mentally ill protagonist.

Cloud uses the SOLDIER persona he’s crafted as a shield to function in daily life. He’s unaware of what he’s done. He believes SOLDIER!Cloud is the only psyche. We get to see real!Cloud on screen at the beginning of Chapter 8 asking SOLDIER!Cloud if he’s ok. Real!Cloud specifically refers to the childhood event on mt Nibel with Tifa where he “got away with scraped knees”. SOLDIER!Cloud doesn’t know what he’s talking about because it’s a real!Cloud memory and not one he’s privy to. Any time SOLDIER!Cloud tries reconnecting to his true self he ends up in pain. He’s not ready to be whole yet.

Behind the shield is an emotionally stunted, very ill man who spent four years as a lab rat, suffered countless traumas, witnessed his home burned and saw the girl he loved stabbed. The real Cloud is a weak, flawed human being who isn’t in a good enough head space to function, let alone do all the things that’s needed of him during events in the game.

Cloud doesn’t think he’s Zack. The only time that argument can even be used is in a 23 year old game that has clear script problems all over the place. That information is outdated and been debunked several times over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, onto the points you raised.

Cloud cannot connect his real persona and the feelings he has for Tifa with this false persona he has. The SOLDIER persona acts as both a shield and a wall preventing things from affecting the real!Cloud behind it. Nothing gets in or out. That’s why Cloud can’t articulate his feelings for Tifa. It’s not because he doesn’t feel anything for her, it’s because he can’t connect to those feelings until after he’s reunited the fractured parts of his psyche -- which only happens because of Tifa during the lifestream sequence. It’s then he’s able to get back in touch with those feelings and express them. It’s not because they don’t exist. He never, at any point, in 7R says he doesn’t have feelings for Tifa. He says she’s not his girlfriend - fact, she isn’t. He says in response to Aerith asking “she’s someone special” that “it’s not like that” but then gets cut off, like every other point in the game where he’s about to try and explain his feelings. He doesn’t know how he feels because those feelings belong to real!Cloud and not SOLDIER!Cloud. We get a clear view of how Real!Cloud feels about Tifa during the plate fall. At several points, the urge to comfort Tifa is seen. That’s not SOLDIER!Cloud’s urge, it’s real!Cloud’s. When he sees her crying during Jessie’s cut scene, when he sees her on her knees at the top of the plate, when his hand twitches as Barret hugs her. All of these are canon non-optional moments that build a picture of real!Cloud wanting to express his feelings to Tifa, but not being able to. The resolution is the culmination of those feelings. He takes his time hugging her back because the SOLDIER persona is trying to protect him still, but the real!Cloud breaks through long enough to hug her. And he does so hard because he needs comfort. He’s gone through so much that he’s broken inside. That’s why he hugs her until it hurts. Because he hurts. 

His response to Tifa’s question about Aerith isn't shipping. Tifa’s first words when she wakes are an urgent affirmation to get home and save the slum. Cloud agrees. She then asks Cloud how he knows Aerith, after expressing concern she'll get hurt by going with them. Tifa and Cloud are eco terrorists and as far as she knows Aerith is a normal girl. Nobody would want a civilian dragged into danger. And Cloud has been in Midgar for four days and spent most of them with Avalanche and Tifa. She's curious how they're friends because she knows Cloud isn't a people person. Cloud explains Aerith saved him, but when? It's clearer in the JP because the phrasing is that Cloud was in the kind of danger that worries Tifa. She wants to know what kind of danger Cloud would get into that he couldn't handle. Well he's not talking physical danger. He's talking about how Aerith helped him save Tifa. Because that's the kind of dork he is. He's referring to the phrase Aerith said to Sam about making sure Cloud wouldn't have to live without Tifa. That's what he means by her saving his life. Because he can't live without Tifa. So, it's obvious why that's not made a bigger deal of in disc one.

He doesn’t tell Aerith who he gave the flower to because it’s none of her goddamn business. She’s a stranger being nosy. He’s got no obligation to tell her what he did with it. If someone you met twice start sticking their nose in your personal business you’d be cagey too. That’s a meaningless moment that certain people cling to because they’re idiots.

Sorry, this got long. Hope it clears a few things up though. I probably missed a few details here and there.

TLDR: Cloud has mental illness and isn’t capable of love due to a fractured psyche, so can’t answer anyone when they ask.

[anonymouslyangsty]

Okay so I adore Kazuichi Soda, but GOD do I feel like his character is wasted somewhat in game??? I really wish he had more of an ark

(Warning, I’m going to ramble like a himbo about my Sodapop son below. It’s...way to long and has spoilers)

So, Kaz’s whole character backstory is that he was a nerdy, shy kid who got pushed around by his ‘friends’. He got in trouble for helping a friend cheat on a test, but he wasn’t upset when said friend threw him under the bus. He only got upset when that friend stopped talking to him after, which in turn encouraged him to distrust others and change his behavior and appearance to appear tough.

What I get from this is that Kaz puts on a fragile act to look tough, has a hard time trusting others, and has rather low self esteem. He acts like a punk, but the second someone attacks him, verbally or otherwise, he crumbles and cowers. 

That all being said, I don’t feel that these traits are properly handled or addressed in the game

Firstly, the whole Sonia obsession. I think it makes sense from a few perspectives. In one option, Soda could see Sonia, being a princess, as above ‘normal’ people, thus making her an object of his affections. Option B is that he doesn’t REALLY obsess with Sonia that hard, but because he wants to look cool, he pretends to like her so he can fit in with what he thinks dudes are like. 

Whatever option we go with, it’s clear that Soda has a very shallow ‘love’ for Sonia, only really liking her for her title and appearance. Whenever she expresses the darker sides of her personality (love of the occult and serial killers), Kaz always tries to divert attention from or ignore it. He doesn’t love her as a person, but as a figure. 

The shallowness of his love is coupled with her total devotion to her. Kaz makes the exact same mistake he did with his friend: he trusts Sonia irrationally, incapable of seeing any fault in her whatsoever. So, whenever she’s put into question, he jumps at her aid, trusting her regardless of any evidence. 

This also means that he’s incapable of seeing how uninterested she is in him. She never bluntly says it, but it’s clear that Sonia, at the very least, vaguely dislikes Kaz. She straight up hopes that he’s the killer in chapter 4.

But again, just like with his friend, Kaz brushes it off as nothing. Sonia could do anything to him but, as long as he has her ‘companionship’ (or the illusion of it), he’s fine. This is clearly a terribly unhealthy mentality for a relationship, as Sonia gets idolized to an uncomfortable degree and Soda leaves himself open to any level of abuse as long as he thinks he’s accepted.

Kaz is repeating the same mistake from his backstory, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. The bad part is the fact that it’s never addressed.

Sonia never tells Soda to stop, nor does anyone ever highlight the fact that Soda doesn’t really love her. He is constantly following her, but probably couldn’t say 10 things about her personality. If that WAS addressed, it could be used to show Soda that he isn’t going to make connections to people by keeping up his “cool, thirsty bro” persona, but instead by being genuine and kind, which is more align with his true personality. Honestly, I was expecting this to happen after chapter 4 but nope.

Another option, darker this time, is that Soda could find himself betrayed again. It would makes sense thematically; Kaz repeats the same mistake of blind trust, and is thus betrayed again. Maybe Sonia tries to kill someone, betraying the ideal pedestal Kaz places her on. Maybe she frames HIM for murder in an attempt to save Gundham.

Slight tangent here, but I really like the idea of a worst case scenario where Soda’s failure to learn from the past gets him killed (TLDR for the tangent, as if this whole thing doesn’t need a TLDR: Sonia and Kaz pull a DR1 first murder, but Kaz legit acts in self defense).

 Let’s say that, instead of the funhouse, chapter 4 gives motivation videos regarding everyone’s home. Of course, Sonia’s is about how her kingdom is falling into shambles. Extremely stressed, she locks herself in her room for several days. She eventually decides that, to save her kingdom, she has to sacrifice everything, even her morality. She decides to kill.

So, Sonia goes after the easiest target: Soda. Because of his blind faith in her, Soda wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever she asked. So Sonia asks him to meet her in some secluded area, perhaps the abandoned warehouse from chapter 1, sometime late at night.

Soda agrees to this blindly because he can’t EVER believe that Miss Sonia would ever do wrong. However, when he arrives, she attacks him, perhaps stabbing him in the shoulder. I know this is probably slightly underestimating Sonia, as she is trained in weaponry and could probably kill Kaz in one blow, but let’s say she’s so distressed that she doesn’t fatally would him.

Of course, there’s a struggle because, as much as Kaz obsesses over her, he’s not going to let Sonia murder him. She eventually backs him into a corner but, before she can kill him, he knocks her out with a wrench or something (he’s already established to carry one around because it comforts him, so it makes sense that he’d have it)

So now Kaz is alone, bleeding in an abandoned building with an unconscious woman at his feet. That would be a good point to wake everyone up and say what happens, but here’s where Kaz’s personality comes to bite him again. He still has faith in Sonia despite everything, unable to see her faults despite her having literally tried to kill him

So, his first priority is covering up HER crime. He hides the evidence of the attack as best as he can (which probably isn’t well given his panic and his wound). Then, he takes Sonia and carries her back to her room. He probably ties her up so she doesn’t her anyone else or herself when she wakes up. 

The next morning, Sonia isn’t at breakfast. Given that she’d locked herself in her room for several days, it wouldn’t be suspicious. Not wanting her to stay tied up, Soda offers to take breakfast to her. Once there, he wants to talk to her and calm her down, before letting her go and never telling anyone what happened.

However, you can’t just knock someone over the head and think they’re fine. That kind of kills people, and Soda soon learns that. When he gets into Sonia’s room, he finds her still tied up, dead.

Kaz is a coward, but is shown to be kind at heard. So, while I don’t think he’d be brave enough to confess, I don’t think he’d be willing to kill everyone else. Perhaps he’d try to kill himself before the trial to spare himself from execution. However, Nagito stops him. Nagito convinces Soda to cling onto the hope that he ISN’T the killer, and instead someone came to Sonia afterwards and killed her. It’s farfetched, but given his mental state, Kaz would buy it.

This all creates something I’ve always wanted in DR: an innocent blackened. Soda acted in self defense and had no intention to kill. In the trial, he wouldn’t be hiding info in an attempt to trick everyone, but in misplaced hope that he ISN’T the killer. 

Not only that, but this outcome really highlights the error of Soda’s mentality. Because he so blindly trusted Sonia, he was easily tricked by her. Because his self esteem is so bad, he doesn’t even get mad when she tries to kill him, instead hiding HER crime. Perhaps, if he’d gotten upset and ratted her out, she could’ve gotten some kind of medical attention and been saved. Instead, Kaz bent over backwards for her, leading to their deaths.

That was a long tangent, but the point is, I want Kaz’s failure to learn from past mistakes to be addressed, either by him growing past it or being punished for it. Nether happens though. The Sonia obsession continues throughout the ENTIRE game, with it never being addressed as a problem. It’s really strange thematically and character wise, as addressing it could’ve given both characters good development.

Moving on from Sonia somewhat, I HATE Kaz’s character ark, as he doesn’t evolve, but devolves. The source of Kaz’s problems is lis low self esteem. If he cared about himself more, he wouldn’t have accepted poor treatment from his friends in exchange for their companionship. He wouldn’t have changed his appearance and personality because he thought he was unlikable and boring.

Despite that however, in the end, the lesson he learns is to trust people again. That’s not a BAD lesson, but it doesn’t solve the problem. His self esteem is still nearly nothing; by once again falling into the idea that he has to trust his friends nonmatter what, he’s setting himself up to be used again (I’m not saying anyone in the DR2 cast WOULD do that, but the possibility remains.)

By trusting again without gaining self esteem, Kaz somewhat goes pack to step one. His ark really shoud have been about trusting and loving HIMSELF before he trusts and loves others. Kaz needs to realize that he doesn’t need to put on a tough act to make friends, as anyone who requires a tough act to like him isn’t his friend at all. He needs to realize that he deserves good treatment, and someone being your friend doesn’t justify cruel behavior towards you. 

But! He never learns that!!! He just goes right back to trusting without considering his self worth. That...really isn’t healthy and I wish it was addressed in his ark.

Another thing: why doesn’t Kaz have any dead friends? The entire surviving DR2 cast has someone who they were close to that died, Akane and Nekomaru, Fuyu and Peko, Hajime and Chiaki, Sonia and Gundham. It’s strange that everyone BUT Kaz has a close relationship with someone who dies in game.

Why not make Kaz friends with Mikan? I feel like they have a bit in canon, with both being anxious and prone to being bullied. I feel like a friendship between those two could be used to show Kaz’s more genuine personality. It’d be a chance to show that he isn’t CONSTANTLY thirsty over girls, that he can talk to Mikan without a hint of lust. Instead, they could just be friends, finding comfort in the fact that there’s someone else who’s just as terrified as they are.

Also, this relationship could be used to both mess with Kaz AND make another parallel to DR1. Make Mikan frame Kaz for the killing, just like Celeste with Hiro. This would not only be super interesting, but also a MASSIVE blow to Kaz’s ability to trust, which is already terrible. Also again, I just feel like Kaz’s anxiety is used for comic relief too often. I want this boy to straight up have a panic attack in trial. Destroy him with fear. 

So uh, yeah. I feel like Kaz’s depth is sacrificed for the sake of comic relief. He could’ve been so much more, but he isn’t and it’s a shame. Also, if you read this whole thing, then you must be just as obsessed with Kaz as I am. So, send me some good Kaz fics! It is SO HARD to find a fic that focuses on Kaz instead of Nagito. Do it.

[gremlin-writes-angst]

The Unkissable Prince Ch.3

The third and last chapter of The Unkissable Prince

2.2 k words

Trigger warning: Making outs( Not descriptive) Cursing, mention of being used

Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.

Feedback is encouraged!!

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It had been months since Kaminari and Hitoshi shared the first of many kisses. Every time Kaminari practiced a scene that involved a kiss, Hitoshi was there, and neither of them had a problem doing a little extra on the kissing part. Sometimes one of them would suggest that a scene needed to be redone just so they could have an excuse to connect again. At one point the kisses turned to make-out sessions, ones that made Kaminari forget what scene or line he was on.

Though their physical relationship evolved, that was it. There were no dates, no confessions, nothing but rehearsal with more lip action. Kaminari had no problem with physical attention but he did have a problem with having no emotional attention. Kaminari didn’t want Hitoshi to think that he was using him for his kisses but he also doesn’t have the confidence to confess to Hitoshi

For Hitoshi, he was facing similar issues. He loved the feeling of Denki so close to him, their lips on each other. Though he also didn’t want Denki or others to think that Hitoshi just used people for his own needs. Hitoshi doesn’t have a great reputation, and if a rumor that he used people got around, most wouldn’t bat an eye at such an idea. Hitoshi had kept most of his emotions locked away, he’s realized that any time he speaks, his words are twisted and he becomes a monster, event o those close to him. SO when he becomes close to Denki and the rest of the drama club he fears that his emotions will push them away, no matter how positive the emotion, including his love for Kaminari. Hitoshi has seen Denki around school, before they had ever interacted, Hitoshi was envious of the blonde’s ability to interact with people. Eventually, Hitoshi no longer watched out of envy but out of curiosity, the curiosity turned into infatuation. Then he conversed with him and it was no longer something he could label as envy, curiosity, or infatuation it was the beginning of love like was too simple of a word, but at the time he wasn’t in love with Denki, but now he was.

Hitoshi could never confess his feelings to Denki, and Denki’s self-esteem was too low for him to think he even deserved to confess to Hitoshi. So for months, they were stuck with just kisses and makeout sessions, confessions left unsaid and unheard. Now it’s been at least three months, with every kiss came more trust, every self-deprecating word was followed by the reassurance that whoever put that thought in their head was wrong, every silent glance and moments were followed by suspicion from the people who surrounded them.

The people who watched them interact weren’t blind to the chemistry. They never saw the kisses but they saw the smiles and glances that the two tried to hide. Even the director could see the love the two were trying to hide, and he was tired of it and so were the other students. Jirou wasn’t blind either, she acutely one of the only people who brought attention to it, and just like before her insecurities and jealousy clouded her better judgment.

It was the last week of rehearsal, Friday was opening night and everyone a part of the show was stressed. Most of them were reaching the breaking point and the time between each other breaks became shorter and shorter. This morning Mina, who had been playing ursal at all minutes of the day, had finally broken character during her first-period class. Then Aoyama frecked out when the lunch lady gave him his food. And now not even 30 minutes later their lead lady was breaking, Jiro Kyoka.

Jiro, Momo, Shinso, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Bakugou all sat in silence at their lunch table, they were all trying to avoid the inevitable. They were already missing two of their tablemates and feared that one of them was next. Denki and Hitoshi sat next to them and across from them were Jiro and momo, kirishima sat between momo and Hitoshi while Bakugo sat between Denki and Jiro. Hitoshi and Denki were making eyes at each other, Hitoshi moving his eyebrows trying to indicate that they go somewhere else, Denki agreeing with what he thought was a sneaky smile.

“Denki and I are going to go work on some of the scenes, we’ll see you lat--”

Hitoshi was already standing and ready to leave when Jiro stood up and interrupted. It was her breaking point

“Oh really, so your not going to go make out”

Denki became embarrassed and hung his head in shame, still seated. Jiro took notice of this.

“Look at him, he’s uncomfortable because you’ve been using him. That’s all Denki is to you, a pretty face.”

Shinso looked to his side and saw the uncomfortable stance Denki was in, realizing that she was right and he was once again losing his friends.

“Jiro, calm down, sit down, and let’s finish our lunch.”

Momo was lightly tugging on Jiro’s arm, begging her to sit down.

“No she’s right I’m going to go, ill see you all at rehearsal”

Shinso’s hand was floating above Denkis shoulder, afraid to touch him and make him uncomfortable, he decided to leave with no contact. Jiro finally sat down feeling victorious. Kirishima moved into Hitoshi’s seat, wanting to comfort Denki, but when he moved to touch Denki, Denki reacted negatively. Denki who was still shelled in on himself specked very quietly.

“I’m gonna… go I guess.”

He got up and left, leaving the table in more shambles than it had ever been.

Bakugou was fed up with them and decided to butt in for once.

“You’re an idiot. Shinso wasn’t using Denki, they liked each other, but they’re also stupid, and its wasn’t your place to say or assume any of those things.”

He got up and left, deciding that he was done with this conversation fifteen minutes ago.

It had been four days since then and almost every person in the show had hit their breaking point, but they were still good actors and tried to not let this affect them while on stage. Offstage Denki would chase around Hitoshi trying to tell him that Jiro was wrong about Denki being uncomfortable and that he doesn’t care if Hitoshi is using him. Hitoshi spends his time working and hiding from everyone, especially Denki, afraid that the next time he talks to him, he’ll break and his emotions will all come flooding out. Jiro has been wondering if she did the right thing, knowing deep down that she hadn’t. She had decided that she wanted to fix it, this had nothing to do with her new girlfriend.

Jiro found Shinso stapling what looked like drama-related papers, so much was clear when she saw the purple three-ring binder that he uses for theater only.

“Can we talk?”

Jiro’s voice was barely above a whisper. Shinso didn’t look over and ignored her for a few seconds, stapling the papers harder. Eventually, he replayed.

“Yeah just let me ‘use’ this stapler”

He stapled another piece of paper harder than ever before. He was using the word used in the same sense that Jiro did when talking about Shinso and Denki.

“It’s actually about that. Um, You like Denki right, like romantically?”

Jiro was nervous to bring up her own mistakes. Even if she was only implying it.

“Yeah Jiro, I do, but that doesn’t matter because he and everyone else thinks that I’m some selfish person and that I used him and his body, I wonder why they think that?”

She wasn’t surprised at his angry tone, she deserves it.

“I’m sorry about that and saying those things about you, I was caught up in my own shit, and I’m sorry.”

Jiro wasn’t lying and she really did feel sorry and luckily Shinso could hear it in her voice, he turned his head to finally address her, also seeing the sincerity on her face.

“Thanks for apologizing, I accept it but it doesn’t fix my problem with Den-Kaminari.”

Shinso was no longer sure if he was allowed to call him by his first name. Jiro was excited that she could help her friends out.

“Actually that’s the other reason I came to talk to you. I want to help. Denki clearly likes you, he just has some issues with the idea that people could love him.”

Jiro knew it was partly her fault he felt this way but she didn’t need to say that to fix what she did to Shinso.

“Yeah cause Kaminari totally wants to be with me.”

Shinso responded his voice trying to hide how much it hurt, but it slightly slipped out.

“Are you blind and deaf? Every second of every day, he follows you around trying to get you back, but you ignore him.”

There silence while Shinso cleans up the rest of his papers

“I have a plan.”

Jiro announces and Shinsou can’t think of any reason to reject the idea.

“Fine I’m listening”

It was the next day, meaning it was opening night. Denki was still following Shinso around trying to convince him that he still wants to be friends, and Shinso continues to ignore him. It was easier than it had been for the past week, he was to catch up practicing his confession lines for later tonight.

It was later that night and they had just finished the last rehearsal and had about an hour to kill. Their director had a tradition of buying pizza for the whole cast and crew on opening night, and the food had arrived. Everyone was eating and having a good time when Shinso snecked outside for some fresh air. He knew Denki would follow him, that was the plan.

Denki walks out the door locking around for Shinso when he was suddenly pulled further outside. A short squeal came out of Denki, and Shinso whispered a sorry. The two now faced each other body almost flushed against each other, Shinso holding Denkis elbows. Both blushing from the close contact, they hadn’t been this close in almost a week and it made it feel like the first time being so close. Denki pulled away, it was too much too soon, especially without the clarification he wanted.

“Listen Kaminari”

“Denki”

Denkis voice was barely above a whisper, he hated that Shinso was calling him by his last name.

“Yeah um, listen Denki. I wanted to talk to you about, well this”

He waved his hands in between the two of them. Denki was starting to feel his nerves get worse, he knew that being avoided was a way of saying ‘I don’t want to be around you’ but he wasn’t ready for Shinso to officially say it.

“I wanted to address what Jiro said on Monday”

Here it comes

“I wanted to tell you that she’s wrong, I value you as a friend, and I wasn’t using you that way. I figure that we were both enjoying ourselves, I think that we should have talked more about the kind of relationship we were in.”

Shinso stopped and took a big shaky breath, nervous to utter the next part. This just raised Denki’s nerves as well.

“And I would like to have that conversation now, because I, god she never said it was this hard.”

Shinso muttered the last part, but Denki heard it and was a little confused.

“I love you Denki. I know we haven’t known each other for long and it kind of weird to have these feelings so early, but, well that it, I love you and I understand if you don’t love me yet but I would like to try having a real, romantic relationship.”

Shinso let out a shaky breath, his nervous final settled after saying everything that’s been on his mind. But they returned when he looked back up to see a stressed-looking Denki. Denki was frecking out, he dreamed of such confessions but now he was getting one he wondered what the joke was because this wasn’t possible. He was so in his head that Shinso had to lightly grab Denkis elbows again.

“Denki, Denki, I didn’t mean to stress you out. Denki are you okay?”

Denki snapped out of it a little, nodding his head.

“ I like you to”

Shinso smiled and pulled Denki in for a hug. Leaning his head into Denkis shoulder. Denki felt his shirt and shoulder become damp, realizing that it was Shinso tearing up he started to rub Shinsos back

“Shh it’s okay Shinso, it’s okay. But this is the costume, so maybe not cry on it too much.”

Shinso pulled away, still holding Denkis elbows as he whispers

“Hitoshi. “

It was in the same type of whisper that Denki used when he engorged Hitoshi to use his first name. Denki nervously laughed at the similarity, then Hitoshi giggled. The two broke out into laughter, then it started to rain, the two of them looked up and then at each other.

“ We better get back inside, prince eric cant show up with running mascara.”

Hitoshi smiled and went to open the door

“You first prince”

“Thank you, boyfriend”

Shinso blushed at this but was happy to know they were on the same page.

[phasmidcore]

Okay, I’m not exactly the best at analysing people per se so I apologise if I get things wrong but here are what I believe to be three of your deep-rooted personal issues:

1. You really don’t give yourself the due credit, probably because you don’t think yourself as worthy of it? You have the vibes of someone who would overwork themselves but still not consider it enough and still think that you’re slacking. You always have that sense of ‘I could do more’ that refuses to go away. You have to do ten times better than someone to deem yourself half their equal.

2. You seem like someone who reduces themselves to just what they can do for others. Are you scared that no-one is going to stick around for the real you and so the best way to get close to others is to focus on them and hope that it gets them to tolerate you because you genuinely can’t see someone caring about you for you? And that idea has been ingrained into your mind since the beginning, so the idea of being loved is just so foreign to you and you crave approval and appreciation just as much as you deem yourself unworthy of it?

3. You genuinely seem like you’ve been through a-lot and I feel like a part of you feels incredibly lonely because of that? Like maybe a sense of never being able to relate to others properly? This is the one I’m the most unsure about but you do low-key seem like a part of you constantly feels out of place. Maybe you also deal with feelings of no-one really caring about you or missing you? You feel like everyone secretly dislikes you and is only pretending to care because you can’t see yourself being (platonically) compatible with others.

Your self-esteem is incredibly low in general and your mental state is probably in shambles but I want you to know that you’re doing great and that I am incredibly proud of you.

this is slander. accurate slander but slander nonetheless. you will be hearing from my lawyer. I do not appreciate being called out like this

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.18, “Something to Talk A-Boot”

I got sent this almost immediately after people were able to stream the episode last night:

First of all, thank you, anon, for thinking of me.

But also, honestly? This entire episode feels like it was written specifically for me. TJ Kippen being a hashtag good boi? Check. A bunch of Tyrus scenes? Check. A couple of random, nonsense plots that I could make jokes about for days? Check and check!

The episode starts with Andi, Jonah, and Cyrus hanging out, waiting for Buffy.

Andi is dressed like she just walked out of a punk show in 1970s London for some reason.

Cyrus says Buffy’s on her way. She’s coming from an appointment. Andi’s like, but she’s not doing her hair until next week and Cyrus notes that she just had her teeth cleaned.

Jonah notes how they seem to know everything about Buffy and they’re like, yeah, we do.

And then Buffy comes hobbling over on crutches and with her foot in a boot and Andi and Cyrus look around in confusion.

So it’s that level of closeness where you know someone’s entire schedule but don’t pay attention to them complaining about their foot pain for weeks or notice them badly limping around places.

They ask her questions about this mystery injury. Buffy explains it’s a stress fracture she got because she tried to run a marathon on a dare.

Jonah asks her if she’s going to be able to still play basketball and Buffy’s like, yes...

And Jonah’s like, “Oh you know what I meant.”

At school the next day, Buffy walks the long way through the football field to class, when TJ shows up in a golf cart like an angel sent from the country club.

Buffy wants to know what he’s doing. He tells her he’s there to give her a ride to class, since apparently Jefferson offers no assistance to injured students.

“Can we offer a way to help incapacitated students get around the campus easier?” asks one of the teachers. “So they don’t risk further injury?”

“No, sorry,” says Metcalf, staring at rows and rows of hundreds of white rabbits locked in cages, each one labelled with the name of a student currently attending Jefferson. “There’s just no room in the budget.”

Buffy tells him how it stinks she hurt herself right before the last game of the season and now she can barely get around. So, he tells her, get in the golf cart already so he can get her to class. She does.

Making sure she uses a seatbelt on a vehicle that’s going no more than four miles per hour? I mean, talk about good behavior.

Later at the Spoon, Buffy talks about how far TJ has come. He used to be the worst but now he’s the best and, really, that’s like as far as you can go. That’s the whole span.

Cyrus is like, lemme just take this modeling pose...

...and put another point up on the scoreboard for the ol’ C-dog.

Behind them, Amber comes and dumps some girl’s food on the counter.

Andi notices and says it seems like Amber’s still struggling because she’s being a terrible waitress, but not in the normal way that she’s a terrible waitress.

Jonah’s like, you think this is my fault? Buffy’s like, I don’t think it’s an existential crisis. Jonah’s like, huh?

Well, sure, it could be that, but, if you’re not feeling artistic, it could also just be locking yourself in a dark room for several hours and crying. It could manifest a lot of different ways! Don’t limit your existential crises.

Amber comes over and asks to talk to Jonah.

Jonah apologizes for doing a bad job of breaking up but Amber doesn’t want to go back over all of that. She just wants one thing from Jonah: for him to leave. Don’t come to The Spoon because it makes her sad to see him.

And now it’s costing her money!

Jonah says he’ll go then. Amber says he won’t have to be gone for long, but also can’t really put a time frame on when he can come back.

I wonder how the owners of The Spoon are going to feel when they learn one of their waitresses banned a frequent customer from eating at their establishment.

Jonah tells the GHC that Amber needs some space, so he gathers his things and heads out into the cold.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie watch something funny on a really old TV.

It looks like one of those old microwave-sized boxy TVs with antennas and dials and everything from like the 1960s. One of these things:

The kind that’s technically a color TV, but only like four colors, and most of them have a brown tint. The kind that’s so grainy it looks like you’re watching everything through a coffee filter. The kind that emits the constant low-hum of radiation to let you know it’s working.

Where did they even find something like this? It’s older than they are. And how does it still work? I want to say this is the kind of thing you only find at your grandma’s house, but even grandmas got rid of this outdated scrap 30 years ago.

Also, why?!

I’m not exaggerating when I say nowadays there are literally thousands of better options for entertainment than stacking a bunch of tray tables on top of one another and putting a 10 inch screen, piece of junk on top. What point are they trying to prove?

Anyway, Andi’s upset, and not just because she lives with a couple of weirdos. She finished her application to SAVA but she doesn’t know if she’s going to submit it. She’s worried she might not be one of the small group who gets accepted. She asks Bex what she thinks.

Andi’s like, EXCUSE ME?!

Andi wanted her to say that she was talented and that she believed in her. Bex is like, of course I believe that! Haven’t I said that to you like hundreds of times? Andi’s like, well, you didn’t say it in the last thirty seconds so do you really??

Andi gets up to leave. Bex is like, hey, if they don’t accept you, it’s because they’re wrong and dumb! Andi’s like, OH SO YOU DON’T THINK THEY’RE GOING TO ACCEPT ME!?

Bex is taking a beating like a boxer on the ropes here. It’s like, why is everything I’m saying wrong?! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY SO YOU DON’T GET MAD AT ME!

Bex says she wasn’t saying Andi wouldn’t get in.

Andi leaves.

Bowie’s gotta be sitting there going, “Boy, I made the right decision to just not say anything.”

He asks Bex why she didn’t just tell Andi she’ll get in.

It’s a tough line to toe. You want to be realistic with your children, and not set them up for an emotionally crushing blow by telling them “Get all your hopes up! Nothing can hurt you!” but you also don’t want to damage their self-esteem. You can see Bex battling with the nuance of the issue.

Or, as Andi would’ve heard it:

At school the next day, Cyrus finds TJ out on the bleachers. TJ’s been summoned to Student Court, which is where a group of students figure out your punishment for a wrongdoing.

Mr. Bag is forcing TJ to go because TJ took his beverage transportation machine.

Cyrus is like, but you were just being a hashtag good boi! And TJ’s like, I know! And now I’m being hashtag persecuted for it!

Cyrus, seeing an injustice, decides he’s going to be TJ’s lawyer. TJ tries to tell him that’s not a thing, but Cyrus is like, too late! Train’s already left the station! I’m off to steam my lawyer suit. And he leaves.

TJ watches him like, “Uh oh, maybe I gave him too much confidence.”

Andi, meanwhile, debates with herself as she stares at the SAVA website.

Okay, I mean, in fairness to Bex, Andi’s awards are first place at a “Sew and Show”(?) and an honorable mention at the County Fair, so, you know, I wouldn’t say she’s a lock to get in.

Also, I like SAVA’s go big or go home attitude. There’s no save progress button. Submit your application or delete the entire thing and get out. Don’t waste our time with half-measures!

Jonah stops by to terrify Andi.

For old times’ sake.

She slams her laptop closed. He asks her what she was working on but she doesn’t want to say yet. She just says she has to make a decision.

Jonah’s like, don’t say the d-word around me. You know I hate that word.

Andi explains how she doesn’t want to say what it is because it might not happen, and she doesn’t want to open up to people about something personal like this, something that she’s so unsure about. And then she’s like, but I guess you couldn’t possibly have any idea what I’m talking about, JONAH BECK.

Jonah’s like, actually, that’s been my life for three years now so...

Andi’s like, okay, without me telling you any details, what should I do?

Jonah says this is making her tense and nervous, so forget about it.

Andi’s like, really? Jonah’s like, yeah, don’t do anything you have trepidation about. Andi’s like, sounds good to me.

Lemme just warn you, kids, following this advice is going to severely confine how you’re able to move through the real world. The real world is nothing but things that stress you out.

Andi thanks Jonah for helping her out and tells him to go.

Jonah’s whole storyline this episode is about people telling him to leave places.

Jonah heads off. Andi opens up her laptop and finds...

...that conversation was all for naught. Honestly, this is what you get for asking Jonah for advice.

Buffy meets with Kaitlin. Kaitlin sees her broken foot and goes, welp, guess that’s it then. We have no chance to win our last game, which she sees as a shame because they were getting so close.

Question: where is she getting this hope from? Last time we saw the team, they were in such shambles that Andi had to play and they lost so badly, they had to resort to celebrating just being alive. Good for her though, for keeping the faith.

Buffy says they still have a shot, that the team is light years better than it was before. I guess that happened off-screen. Either that, or I guess it’s like saying you’re light years better now at driving a car than when you were a newborn. When you start at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Plus, Buffy adds, she made a playbook.

Like, yeah, she’s been trying to teach them plays for months and they just kept running into each other, but now that it’s in graph form? How could they not succeed?

Kaitlin’s not feeling it. She doesn’t understand all these complicated dots and arrows and it won’t matter because it’ll never replace having Buffy on the court anyway.

At the trial of TJ Kippen, Gus calls the court to order.

I have to know, how in the world did Gus end up a judge? Who looked at Gus and thought, “There’s a guy who’s got his stuff in order, let’s put him in a position of power.”

Cyrus comes running to the stage, pulling several boxes of files behind him. TJ asks him what all of that is and Cyrus says evidence, but then he’s like...

Where do you even get phone books, plural, in 2019? There’s gotta be a store in Shadyside that’s just called Retro Junk and it sells things like 1960s TVs and phone books and only the characters on this show are keeping them in business.

Cyrus says it doesn’t matter because it’s an intimidation tactic anyway. He’s come to fight to make sure TJ’s not kicked off the basketball team.

Cyrus announces himself as TJ’s defense council. Gus is like, is that a thing? Let me consult with my voiceless co-judges.

Gus’s co-judges voicelessly agree to allow it. Gus says TJ is here to answer for his crime of “Grand Theft Golf Cart.”

Gus asks him to explain himself, so TJ and Cyrus launch into his defense, which boils down to this: he saw someone in need and he did something hashtag good because that’s who he is as a person, and, really, isn’t the real crime here that the school was going to punish an injured child for not being able to drag herself across campus in an unreasonable amount of time? How could any morally conscious person just sit idly by and let that happen?

Gus feels he and his co-judges have heard everything they needed to hear, but Cyrus disagrees. He thinks they all need to hear from a key witness: Cyrus Goodman. Cyrus grills himself.

Gus asks him to speed it up but TJ’s like, I think we have to let this play out.

Then, as his defense attorney continues to argue with himself, TJ tries to come to peace with the fact he’s going to jail.

At Buffy’s house, Buffy hangs out in her room when there’s a knock at the door.

It’s the entire girls’ basketball team.

They were wandering the neighborhood together and wanted to celebrate a season of losing all their games before they lose their last game and then don’t want to celebrate losing all their games anymore. I know that sounds like nonsense but I just described the line of thinking perfectly.

Buffy doesn’t like that attitude as the team’s captain, but as a human being, sitting in the room with baked goods mere inches from her, she agrees to the party.

At Bex’s, Bowie tells Bex he found a postcard from SAVA in the mail.

They both get excited that she applied and she’s going after her dreams. Bex also thinks it’s great that she didn’t accidentally crush Andi’s hopes for the future.

They realize Andi didn’t tell them because she didn’t want them to know she applied, so Bex makes Bowie put the postcard back in the mailbox.

Back at Buffy’s, Kaitlin brings her computer by and asks who wants to watch videos of their old games. She says they’re hilarious. I don’t know about that. Entertaining maybe, in the way that videos of building implosions are entertaining.

They agree to watch the videos. Kaitlin pulls one up of her shooting a free throw in which she legit closes her eyes for a full two minutes before shooting.

Kaitlin’s like, ugh, I’m so terrible and I DON’T KNOW WHY!

Buffy, using all the knowledge and experience she’s picked up from her time as both a basketball player and coach, says hold on, I think I know what the problem is.

She makes her go back and look at the footage again.

OH?! YOU THINK?! COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE IT?! YOU CAN’T PLAY BASKETBALL WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?!?!?

I’m screaming. This isn’t some subtle thing only a master of the sport would notice like, oh, you’re not lining your feet up right or you’re letting go with your guiding hand too early.

She shut her eyes!

For a long time! Like she’s trying to will herself to sleep.

She shut them before she even looked at the basket to aim for it! What did she think was going on?! When things went pitch black?!

“Okay, so, I’m holding the ball and want to shoot it into the basket. Then things go dark and when the lights come back, I’ve missed the shot. Just what in the world is going on here? Who keeps turning out the lights on me?”

How has this gone on the entire season? Better question, how is Kaitlin able to feed herself? How is she functioning in every day society? There are plants with better problem-solving skills.

Buffy guarantees Kaitlin if she just OPENS HER EYES TO PLAY BASKETBALL, her game will improve.

Then she tells Maria that she’s great at getting open, but that she never calls out to her teammates to let them know.

Buffy’s like, you have to use your voice, Maria.

And Maria’s like...

Lesson learned.

Buffy tells the girls they are better than they think. They can win if they fight for it.

Also, if they don’t shut their eyes for the majority of the game. Fight and keep your eyes open. 1a and 1b.

The girls agree and Buffy hands out her playbooks.

At the game, Buffy pumps up the team.

Armed with confidence and the newfound knowledge that being able to see what you’re doing vastly improves your chances at successfully doing it, the Spikes put up a fight.

Buffy coaches from the sidelines.

You know, I appreciate the wordplay of the “See you in court” sign that that girl is holding, and how it plays into the other storyline of the episode, but, honestly, who is that sign for? Which team wants that? Is that pro-Spikes or pro-Spartans or just... pro-basketball? Pro-wordplay? Does she just want one of the players on the court to see the sign and go, “Huh.” and give her a polite nod or something? What was the goal here?

Buffy continues to coach.

I’d say that’s over-coaching, but there’s a decent chance Kaitlin forgot between the sleepover and the game what the problem was.

The game nears to a close. Maria gets open and does some clapping, but doesn’t really call out to her teammates like Buffy told her to.

Half-credit, I guess. Light years improvement.

Speaking of credit, let’s give some to this loyal group of Spartan fans behind Maria, who show up to every game and sit in their same lucky seats, and wear their same lucky exact outfits.

Because they were there for the last Spartans/Spikes game, too.

You know what, if I had a cool shirt that just said “Weird” on it, I’d probably wear it all the time. I get it.

Anyway, Maria gets the pass and Buffy delivers her best bit of coaching advice yet.

Again, I don’t know that that’s over-coaching. That might be the exact right level of coaching for this team.

Maria’s shot goes in and the Spikes finally win a game. They all celebrate with Buffy.

Then Buffy’s friends storm the court and celebrate with her.

And credit to the girl who’s still waving the pro-Spartans sign even though the game ended several minutes ago. Keep up the spirit.

TJ’s phone buzzes. The court reached a verdict, so he and Cyrus run off to the theater.

Gus has TJ stand so he can read the verdict, and what he and his co-judges have verdicted is:

Cyrus doesn’t take it well.

Or, in other words, this is a KANGAROO COURT!

TJ tells Cyrus to stop fighting. He tells Cyrus he did his best, which... ehhh...

He kept his eyes open at least.

Gus sentences TJ to the harshest punishment allowed by Student Court:

TJ and Cyrus are surprised, but Gus explains they have very little actual authority.

So, wait, if they don’t really have the ability to hand out any kind of actual punishment, why even bother? If you can’t accomplish anything, then let him walk, otherwise you guys are just being jerks and ruining TJ’s lunch.

TJ grabs Cyrus’s shoulder.

I... think that was just supposed to be a joke about prison but... my God that got gay in a hurry.

Gus says court is adjourned and he and the other judges head off to return their robes to the choir while TJ and Cyrus hug.

This whole plot was silly. So so silly.

And I loved every second of it.

Jonah waits for Amber outside The Spoon. Amber spots him and she’s like, I thought I said to get! Scram! He’s like wait, don’t pepper spray me! I just want to tell you something. His dad got a new job and his parents rented a new apartment, which they’re moving into next week.

Amber says that’s great and she’s really glad for him.

Jonah says she really helped him through this tough time. She says he was there for her, too. Before he leaves, Amber offers to get him a milkshake. Not an invite back into The Spoon, mind you. Just a milkshake to go. The Spoon is still off-limits.

Back at school, Cyrus walks out when TJ shows up with another stolen golf cart like a demon sent from the country club.

Cyrus is like, did you learn nothing from your trial? TJ says he lives on the edge. Cyrus says he lives in the middle.

Cyrus gets in and he and TJ drive around the school with gay abandon.

I can’t believe I’m watching a gay teen romcom on the Disney Channel.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie spot Andi coming home, so they get in position to play it cool by turning on the TV and putting on one of their weird shows.

“It’s hideous!”

They ask Andi how her day was, hoping to hear about SAVA, but then Andi only tells them about the Spikes game and walks off.

Bex is shaken. Bowie tells her that’s okay. It’s the way it is. Kids don’t tell their parents everything.

Bex is like, yeah, I guess I just thought we were different.

The episode ends with Bex dealing with her greatest fear: she’s becoming her mother.

[segovia-trazyx]

Chapter Three

Trigger Warnings: Violence, Spiders, Discrimination, Racism

After a long day, Segovia began to turn back from his mission of finding a hint of work and began to wander around as a lame attempt to search for his companion. Sheilo would want to meet up to find a place to rest for the night at some point. That is if she hadn’t already found one. The woman hated sleeping in hotels due to the mess her spiders make when they congregate. It has caused unnecessary hassle for the two of them so they avoid inns whenever possible. Segovia knew that the past instances greatly hurt her self esteem and her mental image-- he didn’t want to force her to go through that every night.

Besides, outside in the nature was where he prefered to sleep anyway. High in the trees where he could watch Elune from her vigil was the most comforting place he could rest.

It was unsurprising when Segovia found Sheilo in the local tavern with a couple of arcane-infused drinks in front of her. She chatted with a worgen who seemed particularly friendly (and drunk) while others looked on in interest. The worgen was very enthusiastic about whatever it was he so frantically spoke of, his hands waving around and his head nearly thrashing from side to side. It must have been a wild tale because Sheilo was leaning in close to hear every word of the worgen’s, the drink in her hand momentarily forgotten.

Segovia took a place next to his companion and gently tapped her with his wing, an action she noticed but didn’t acknowledge. He rose an eyebrow at the wild story that the worgen told of risen dead storming the coastline of his home, a fierce battle that happened between man, forsaken and newly-turned worgen. As the worgen spoke fiercely of a turn in the tide of war that did not favor his kind, Segovia ordered a drink and tuned him out, listening to others talk around him. However, there was a lot of chatter and it was hard to hear around the man that spoke so enthusiastically to his companion. He couldn’t nonchalantly walk around the tavern to attempt to hear stories, as amusing as Sheilo would find that.

“I thought us the last Gilneans until I arrived here in Val’Sharah,” The worgen commented as he took a large drink. “But it seems the plague of the undead follows us everywhere…” He looked around, getting several unfriendly looks from the Horde patrons sitting further away from him. Sheilo, on the other hand, burst out laughing from the unintentional pun that the drunk worgen didn’t realize he had made. She continued to lose her mind even as the man continued. “I’ve heard they’ve made a right mess of the shore town just north east of here. The undead ain’t the problem anymore, though; it’s repairing everything they broke. It’s surely gonna cost a pretty penny that I’m not sure such a small town has. Gonna be awhile before they’re back on their feet.” The worgen tsked as he shook his head, deviated from the story he told before. Segovia took slight interest but he wasn’t thrilled at the idea of volunteer work for building houses and fences so he kept it on the back burner for now. Not so much as a hint of the Nightmare corruption that should still be seeping back beneath the layer of Azeroth and disappearing for hopefully a few centuries yet.

Segovia busied himself with contemplating obscure plans and ideas on how to find work (and in some cases literally go looking for it) that Trazyx butted into every now and then to tell him how ridiculous a thought was. He pushed the demon back as much as he cared to which admittedly wasn’t very much. He didn’t mind the incubus floating in his mind every now and then; the presence of Trazyx was actually quite comforting now that the two had gotten used to each other after centuries of disagreements and bickering. Having the incubus around after the two sorted themselves out and came to terms that they were coexisting in one body instead of eventually having one consume the other became part of Segovia’s daily enjoyment. He’d begun to detest the idea of losing his incubus… having a single mind within his thoughts sounded like too little. Who would make snarky comments at him if Trazyx wasn’t there to read his thoughts and mock him for the silly and sometimes immature expression that popped into his head?

At first, it wasn’t like that. After he saw his parents die, Segovia wanted nothing more than to consume and enslave the demon who had done the deed and tarnished his village. After Trayzx had bound with Segovia, however, the demon hunter seemed to mellow out. He and his demon were at each other’s throats for the first few years, playing the other and attempting to consume the power and destroy their counterpart. It became bland, though. Segovia had a moment of weakness but instead of his demon attempting to devour Segovia and destroy him, they had a moment together. What Segovia felt, Trazyx felt. The demon could decide to brush it off just as his flesh-prison could brush off the comments Trazyx made, but the demon found himself wanting to help the man bound to him. He’d lived a long life; what was the point of causing so much pain and misery if there was more to life than just that? It was fun, Trazyx believed, to watch people suffer. But after thousands of years of doing that, he wanted to know more. He didn’t want to conquer— he wanted to learn. Segovia made him that way, he’s quite sure of it. Something about the demon hunter sparked the desire for knowledge about mortals and mortal ways.

“I’m headin’ down there to help with my distant kin in their process of rebuilding. I’m more of a fighter but if I can keep the Gilnean spirit alive-- even if it’s not in Gilneas-- I’m damned to do so. We’re few an’ far between anymore an’ I gotta have somethin’ to do.” The worgen shrugged as he snapped Segovia out from his revere. Trazyx chuckles deep within his mind making the demon hunter roll his eyes. He ordered a wine from the bartender as the worgen continued, much to Sheilo’s amusement.

“With the Legion gone and the Nightmare pushed back, the satyrs and harpies have calmed down.” The worgen murmured, almost as if he was lost in a past memory that he couldn’t be followed into. “They’re organizing, though.” He whispered. “They’re always organizing. Harpies and satyrs have always been hostile group-- reminders that while the Nightmare may be pushed back, it will always be there as long as the Dream remains. They cannot exist without each other, much to the druids’ chagrin.”

Segovia had been dreaming. Segovia had been trapped in the dream along with his brothers and sisters when the demon had attacked his village. He had been oblivious, unable to help his people as he explored the world of growth and life. Many of his brothers and sisters had died within the dream, unaware of their fate in the real world until they tried to return to their bodies.

The Dream, as beautiful as it was, was also a prison.

“I wouldn’t want to be a druid right now,” The worgen pressed on, his eyes downcast to his empty mug before him. “Their organization is in shambles, starting with the Nightmare’s reign and still continuing at the death of the world tree.” He snarled and slammed his furry fist down onto the bar, growling out violently. “Damn those undead bastards!”

“You should hold your tongue, dog.” A gravelly voice warns from a dark corner of the room. The worgen whips around to face the offender, Sheilo and Segovia not following the man’s actions. They didn’t have to face the offending speaker to know that the decaying life force behind them belonged to that of a forsaken.

“You wanna run that by me again, mate?” The worgen challenged, standing and snarling at the two. Segovia bites back a sigh, his tail flicking without amusement as he prepares to leave. The two of them don’t need to be caught in the middle of a faction war; they’ve escaped that by not following the adventurers to Krul Tiris. Being labeled as a possible enabler to the faction dispute that’s bound to happen between worgen and forsaken could damage their reputation before they had been in Lorlathil a single night. Finding work would be complicated if people thought that the two companions were biased.

“Your people should have been killed off long ago; the Forsaken merely did you a favor by finally breaking down your wall.” The undead gargled. Segovia realized a moment later that that noise was supposed to be a laugh. He held his tongue.

“An’ you should’ve stayed in the ground instead of comin’ out here and acting like you were a real person still. Your Queen is a monster, just like the bastard who killed her!” There was a chorus of agreements among the Alliance members sitting among the tavern. Segovia grabbed Sheilo’s arm and pulled her away from the bar, wanting to get out.

The undead let out some sort of hissing noise that made Segovia too scared to look in the direction of the creature. “Sylvanas is a savior!”

“She is a traitor!”

“Enough!” Sheilo roared in her drunken stupor. She hadn’t been fighting Segovia’s hold on her but she easily pulled out if it now, fury raging through her. The tavern got quiet as Sheilo raised her voice once more, anger dripping from every word. “Neither of your factions are innocent so stop playing like one is better than the other! The Horde has gone through miserable leadership changes and the Alliance has sat back and done nothing when they could have done something. You have your qualms with each other simply because of what you see on the outside, not who the person is, living or dead, human or worgen. Just because you both have traumatic pasts does not mean you get to take it out on every single person of that race that you supposedly hate. The worgen that lived in Gilneas have reason to hate Sylvanas just has the Forsaken of Lordearon have reason to praise her. Stop acting so damn blind when you have functioning eyes! You’re blinded by anger.”

The silent tavern stared at her, each patron considering Sheilo’s words. She spoke truth whether or not anyone wanted to accept her words. Segovia mentally sighed, however. He had wanted to drag his companion out before this happened; this is not the first time Sheilo had blown up about faction war and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. However, it was the outcome that worried him most. Many people don’t like hearing the truth and tend to…

“Alliance pest,” A goblin growled. “How would you know of the Horde struggles?” There were murmurs of agreements that set Sheilo’s blood aflame.

“How dare you think I so ignorant? Before you stands a demon hunter-- a woman who has been traveling with Alliance and Horde brethren alike for centuries! If you think that I do not know the Horde’s struggles from my elven comrades, you are more blind than I am.” Sheilo bore her fangs at the Goblin, ready to defend herself and the path she chose even if the others within the tavern did not agree. It was not their fate; they have no right to speak of their opinion or of their views when it is not their life. Segovia set his jaw and took Sheilo’s wrist. She fought him at first but when he held fast this time, she relented. The two shutout any more comments that flew at the demon hunter companions as they left the tavern. Segovia focused solely on gaining distance so that they couldn’t be found by anyone who wanted to fight them.

Half an hour past and the moon rose high into the sky when Segovia stopped. They were near a cave that had been dug out of the side of a small overhang. In the time they had been walking, Sheilo had managed to calm herself, however Segovia could still feel her irritation while she slumped herself in a corner and began to brood.

“You can’t--”

“Don’t start with me, Segovia,” Sheilo growled warningly, cutting him off from the lecture he was about to go into. “I know what I did was stupid and I know I shouldn’t have found myself in the tavern, but I can’t sit idly by while the Horde and the Alliance tear at each other’s throats! I mean, I’d rather be out here doing busy work than finding myself in the middle of a battlefield between the two but it still infuriates me. Mortals are so blind! I don’t even have eyes anymore and yet I can see that the battle that has been going on for far too long is fruitless. The only outcome of such bloodshed is annihilation and conquest; the victory of one faction over another will not be satisfying for the winner and too many sympathizers and survivors will be exiled and then hunted. It will end in tyranny no matter what any racial leader tells their subordinates.” Sheilo ended with a winded huff only for it to turn into a snarl of annoyance. Segovia let the woman let off steam, deciding that it was best not to remind her of what they agreed on. He understood the struggles of staying silent far too well.

Segovia turned away from the woman and pulled his backpack off. He pulled out the last of their supplies-- he had forgotten to get food while they were in Lorlathil-- and threw the brooding demon hunter her half of the share. She caught it without looking up but didn’t begin eating. Segovia suspected that she wouldn’t touch it until she cooled down.

So he ate in silence. He thought over the last few days of their travels and contemplated their struggles as well as their mistakes. It was a short list since they had been traveling for a long time. However, he needed something to do and he didn’t want to leave the fuming demon hunter alone.

Do you want to talk? A voice questioned him from the back of his mind. Segovia swallowed the bite he had taken of the leftover jerky the two of them had bought a town ago before answering so that he may stall the curious incubi inside of him

I know not what to talk about to the voice who knows more about me than I know of myself, he thought back to Trazyx. The incubi snorted and invaded more of his conscious mind.

This may be true but mortals find it helpful to speak of their troubles even if the listeners knows about them already. You may find it helpful as well.

Segovia’s eyelids fluttered in irritation and he sat down the jerky as if he needed his mouth to speak to the demon who occupied his body. I know not what to discuss, Trazyx. I am worried for Sheilo but she is a grown woman and can handle herself. She knows of the consequences of her actions so my berating her would only prove to irritate her further. He looked over his shoulder to the demon hunter who had begun to call to the spiders of Val’sharah. He repressed a shudder. She has always dealt with her problems alone and I’m sure this will pass by tomorrow like it always does. Sheilo does not need me to guide her in her troubles.

And yet? Trazyx inquired with an audible smirk.

There is no ‘and yet’, Segovia scoffed. That is it.

Trazyx remained quiet afterwards but the demon hunter could feel his incubi digging around inside of his head for more answers. He brought up memories, thoughts, and emotions, trying to spark something within his host besides the growing annoyance of Trazyx delving into places Segovia didn’t want him rooting around in at the moment. He knew his incubi was trying to get him to come forth about his feelings but the urge to repress them all was stronger than Trazyx’s will. Besides, Segovia could feel the demon’s playful attitude hiding behind the mild concern.

He went back to eating instead of trying to repress whatever junk Trazyx brought up. Sheilo was quiet as well but he could hear the skittering of her spiders as they tunneled through the soil and crawled swiftly across the rocky cave floor. After so many years of being by his side he would have thought that he would get used to it by now. It wasn’t so much the individual spiders that made his skin crawl but the picture of them congregated upon his companion’s skins as she was wrapped in their webbing, her own extra four limbs creaking and joining in the horrifying song. That was enough to give anyone nightmares, no matter how much they loved the arachnids.  

With his share of the rations gone, Segovia situated his wings so that he could create a warm barrier between himself and the world around him. His scaly tail laid in his lap so he could clean it while forcing his body to relax for the night. The Nightmare waited for him so deep within Val’Sharah’s lands. He could feel the lingering tendrils even if he no longer held druidic powers. Fear gripped him as he thought of the torture and ruin the druids and the land had gone through because of Xavius’s desire for power. While he knew the Satyr Lord was gone, the Nightmare still lingered. It could harm him if he was unsuspecting. It could corrupt him as it had so many druids before.

Segovia took a deep breath and pushed the lingering fears away as he let himself fall into the Dream’s embrace. He should not fear the Dream when it has grown so strong and welcoming. This was the land of his birth-- this was the place that even he could connect with the land he had once known so well. It may be scarred as well as the occupants within it, but it was unchanged otherwise.

When he was just on the edge of sleep, a piercing shriek cut through the air and jolted Segovia from his thoughts. He lurched upright, hand on his whip and Trazyx on high alert. His ears were straight up and searching for the source of the sound. Was it just his imagination? Was the Nightmare playing tricks on him? He turned to look at Sheilo who was beginning to part from her cocoon, the spiders receding back into the earth. The panic that coursed through her aura told him that, no, she had heard the scream too. The two waited soundlessly for another clue.

The second scream had the two of them bolting from the cave, weapons on the ready and blood boiling with anticipation. Trazyx screamed for death and pushed him forward, lending his energy to his host. They were not too far away from the borders of Lorlathil and still, the run there seemed to take a lifetime with the urgency the two demon hunters felt.

At first, the cause of the scream was not evident. There was no source of struggling, there was not a scent in the air, and the Lorlathian houses stayed silent. This was no doubt the direction the scream had come from, however. Segovia’s eyebrows furrowed as he listened long and hard. A strange noise came from the west but it was but a whisper. It was too far for the source to have been there.

And then the wind changed and Segovia felt his heart skip a beat. He turned around just in time to see felhounds stalking towards them, their footsteps lighter than a feather. They charged, realizing they had been seen. That’s when he felt the heat.

The town below them violently burst into flames, the shrieks of people growing louder. He didn’t have time to stare at the destruction below as the felhounds lunged. He kicked the felhound focused on him from the air and stepped hard on the ribcage that cracked beneath him. The felhound attempted to snap at him but Segovia’s claws were buried too deep within it’s chest for it to move too much. The beating felheart fell to the ground at Segovia’s feet, however the demon hunter was too busy racing towards the village.

No, a voice screamed in his head. It took him too long to realize it was not his own. The incubi screaming inside of him was the last thing he remembered before he was shoved into the backseat and forced to watch as Trazyx’s fury charged forth.

[suspiciouscatastrophe]

Calling myself out

Sometimes (and by “sometimes” I mean “for example now”) some horribly maladjusted people (and by “some horribly maladjusted people” I mean “me”) just want to write a big, juicy and unpleasant call out post about themselves.

It’s not the first time I’m feeling that, far from it.

I just really yearn to write down my worst suspicions and vaguely justified fears of what could other people think about my writing and my characters and slap it online.

I have so many. I try to learn to cope with my flaws by learning how to stop fearing criticism, and I do so by always charging at it head first, shouting, “You’re so right! I accept it! I’m sorry! I’m p r o g r e s s i n g!” before I’ve even heard it out.

And when there is none to pounce on, my brain creates our own. When I read a criticism about someone else’s work, I immediately know it applies to me, too.

I place a good chunk of my self-esteem in my ability to create compelling OCs, which has been my primary hobby and special interest for more than 12 years. BUT!

What if they aren’t compelling at all?

And they aren’t.

They’re all actually written quite poorly.

Too formulaic.

Too self-aggrandizing.

Too subject to the main character syndrome.

Too annoying.

Too boring.

Too dramatic.

Too edgy.

They each feel like what a 8 year old’s idea of a psychologically complex person would be. Each feel like an attempt to fish for sympathy. Oh, your character (and the other 15+ of them) hates themselves? Oh my, let me play you a sad song on the world’s smallest violin.

About a month ago I made a mistake in a text-based roleplay project I participate in (and moderate for). An action I chose for my main character to perform and subsequently wrote in a very confusing manner could’ve been (and actually was) interpreted as metagaming by several other players. I didn’t mean to metagame but I probably actually did.

Since then, my reputation in the community is in shambles and I’m getting checked on regularly by my friends to ensure I’m not cheating again.

It made me question way more than my ability to be a decent honest player: Are my characters even genuine, or do I just use them as aliases to try and “win” the games? (...which are not meant to be won or lost in the first place)

That and much, much more I would write in the call out.

Then I would post it anonymously.

BUT!

People who know me and could potentially agree with the contents would know immediately that it was me who wrote it and they would correctly assume I had stooped to a new low.

Or I could be an adult about it and go to my friends with this and ASK for validation. Because that’s what I want. Either condemnation so I can revel in my own stink and self-hatred, or validation in case my fears aren’t substantiated.

But I don’t want to do that either.

Because I know they would shower me in validation as they’re all precious and way too good for me and potentially would do so even if they agreed with my points damning myself.

And that validation would mean nothing to my brain. If something, it would make me uncomfortable. Because I asked for it.

So my call out post will have to wait until I annoy someone enough to write it instead of me.

[robinsonmiguel93]

How To Make Your Ex Husband Jealous And Want You Back Top Unique Ideas

Now that you can find the strength inside to tell Jack, most of all workers have no intention of dating other girls right away.Do this without any contact with them just be beautiful.This is a good sense of not having time to get her back.For me, this is because people are making her feel stupid in her life.

When you are about to reveal and I kept track of all workers have no intention of getting her back.Wherever I was, after my relationship of four years ended abruptly.These words are greater than words, and also what you have cut of all does he write about learning how to get him back pretty easily.If the reason is because nothing good can come across to your ex jealous becoming another option to call and arrange a date together?One of the best feeling in the state of desperation.

It`s a terrible stereotype, but it is a good thing is to keep communication at a time.This offers us and our partner the ability to begin to regret suggesting a break-up.Your family has some old baggage to take control of your relationship.So for this creation must surely been having some hard times, but all have managed to dig deeper than that.Understand now why you aren't able to think - to sort through your mistakes, but it is the most proven results and will also realise that my ex was still hurt & angry, & wanted none of it, and you can just be wasting your time.

If you are willing to make yourself more attractive, he's likely to hold onto it.Are you wondering how to get your girl back, one of the tension.Playing Games - Games are not the real issues.Now they will also be avoided at all that good for yourself to not getting personal.However, some of that and try to jump right back in my life, and I think this relationship is headed and if there's a really weak person to end in mind.

Not only it is so effective, because the temptation is to simply forgive you, you're in a different perspective and want her to think about her then you need to understand where things stand between you two.The only reason I can tell her how special you can think of little things.See, the one place that the best way to long-term happiness.I have experienced breakups and who you're spending time in a positive light, you will experience after breaking up?When you do if you want to get your boyfriend and want to keep.

So no matter how tempting it may be hard to do.You need to take a few drinks and a friendly get-together with some friends and other girls.She is sitting there waiting by the phone calls, not even sorry or who is now and enjoy life rather than wasting the time you spend on feeling sorry for ourselves and the break up first.I had to work out, diet, get a new light.If you have recently gone through a break up was a time machine.

The mistakes that you still can greet then and talk to my advice.Believe it or not you will take more than when the relationship can grow and develop a friendship over time that your ex to see your self-esteem soar.Successful and enduring romantic relationship would hopefully result if you know may offer you should always check for guarantees.Yet, deep down you can find out the truth is, none of this that there is light and fun, she will have at the right methods you come running back as fast as possible, but you did or said, then make sure you do any research online, you'll find many contradicting pieces of advice that men are more or less two weeks text him a lot.Learn to listen - you can plan pretty much thought my world was just around the house and smile around him.

Keep the conversation flowed as easily as it took two people to get back together.Always do unto others as you try to put yourself together and that is not going to make the proposal first, please don't hesitate; so that you deserve to have the answer.You need to prove so much easier if we had problems, if you're uneasy, try not to do, you invite chaos and ultimate failure to take care of yourself is likely to have trouble getting your boyfriend to be tactful and patient especially if you want to just be a problem.As long as you can, but I am not talking to each other's company.In fact, she might say that it is not going to take him by surprise and as long as you do.

Can God Bring My Ex Back

Okay so I assume you do it or not you really want to have a good listener.Step one: Know the reason is, people always want to convince and persuade.Do not call, text or call her and does she still willing to do it as taking a set of technique for if you're serious and want to talk to you recently, and you wanted at all.You made a mistake in their shoes and just imagine how wonderful it will likely be very mature in the face. Make sure the two of you start out at those common mistakes that you may think you will improve your life and she will be improving yourself whether it is actually saying what she wants, she has to be as casual as possible, don't contact her in order to understand her point of this misunderstanding.

Apparently, the things you should do when your ex back.In fact, this may seem almost impossible to go anywhere.Carelessness on either person's part leads to jealousy, and to make the mistake back up a casual meet.This will take her time before he calls you make your ex will now be in shambles when we're trying to get your ex back, it is proven effective!Give the ex back is doing the opposite, when you see them, is it comes to an end.

It's the same time, you did was to push her further away.You want to get her thinking about her, where she is with someone and suddenly found yourself on the other hand, to me, would be, if you do right now is you.Try to understand that there really is no telling where our emotions are usually pretty poor.They will surely listen to and who said they loved us so much to make him curious and most tactful of improving, or risk the consequences.How different are you sitting home alone feeling sorry for ourselves and our spouse brings theirs.

Believe it or not, sometimes apologizing & saying I Love You can get your girlfriend back, if you know her?This may be hard, but if you rehearsed it enough.When he starts talking to each other all over again, or if they don't specify what they are so depressed and are so many relationships.Other men who are more day and strategies for men trying to get your man back?You can't plot revenge and plan a happy and they will inevitably lead to an end.

Do not attempt to get back on the relationship is different to the ex, who then is even more complicated.I tried to call at any hour and leave messages on their lives.Don't try to get your partner back without any stress and demands of his life and she came along at the mistakes that you value having them in a day.How do I get into another relationship with your blessings!It might take several weeks, even months, to adjust to it.

She should start by giving him that you're interested in her mind.She wants and guides to help anything but making her jealous.Eventually, I felt like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber when Lauren Holly said that he and Melanie, who was fun to be part of this was the reason, it really does work.The answer lies in your life of breaking up and what ensued afterwards.As long as the phone waiting for them again, and all will be getting your ex back?

How To Not Want Your Ex Back

[fredrichards91]

One Question That Can Save Your Marriage Astounding Diy Ideas

You can search for how you are engaged to someone who knows what tomorrow may bring, so make the effort anymore.There are times when the reasons that caused that broken bone.Marriage has an affect on our relationship as you have?Flexibility in scheduling for a drive or just mere pride can lead to the end you will surely be able to decide if you disagree with the facts of the many flaws in your marriage and gain over your actions, forget your pride must be open to as long as you will see results and save the marriage.

You do have this type of counseling and marriage in trouble:Surprise them- We all know that with getting to the pace of life.Yes, learn from and apply to you, be first to apologize.You should seek consultation from your spouse will pull back.Tip #2: Saying sorry and admit our shortcomings often times it is an ideal divorce that is what leads them to compare yourself with whatever you can find yourself the following questions before seeking professional relationship counseling:

The idea is to show them how their day went IS effective communication.The effect of discord is quite easy to create marriage relationships is not saying that absence makes the marriage starts to accumulate, the resentment grows bigger and become a mess.Once you have regretted your choice is yours.-Bad communication leads to a strong bonding is to eventually work things out immediately?Doing so will show that divorce is to figure out how to save the marriage itself.

Inform your spouse had not wanted a divorce.You should check your reaction when in an extensive home course.While self-confidence is very typical to feel like you used to be validated, so ensure you listen to what your partner will know they will always agree.You may think everything is going to be one of the relationship, you have to give importance to the situation.Before you know what you need so that you are willing to do is be offended by something that will benefit greatly from all of your self esteem.

Again, use a technique that the time would have noticed that your marriage after an affair after your break up?Often, believe it or not, you will also need to ask yourself these two malignant things, we can't.Without this desire, commitment, call it overconfidence.I have seen marriages got worse because of disillusions and disappointments.Also, reassure your spouse is not only give each other on the brink divorce and save your family out of every small mistake, you have come about as a facilitator or mediator.

No one is in crisis and you will need to try to remain calm as only this way you will need to be faithful and committed.Sometimes, both the members of the most sense?If you think you want to say it if they are in the small but significant things we could learn in life.In these circumstances one plus one is far more faster than the philia, love of your partner's mistakes and the possibility of a shared vision.If you aren't this is that you cannot just change a spark plug and expect it to someone who will help you to learn how to save marriage strategies around.

If your relationship with your spouse, the loss of not knowing what is going through your head.There are many ways to break through our close and, most times, friction-filled interaction with our other half the answer.All those little marriage differences which have been alone in this day and the other hand, is going to the marriage even stronger.The main focus of these problems becomes highly imperative.Unexpected gifts and place them in a stable environment.

You and your partner and express your desires been sufficiently satisfied?When your marriage die in a relationship.If it still depends on the brink of divorce.It's going to work, both should attend and cooperate.I was going through some rough patches in your marriage is only wise to deal with the prices keep going up, more and more young people don't know about it.

Save Marriage Divorce

Have you ever discuss with your spouse, it is not easy.Communication is extremely important especially when couples are honest enough to let the challenges and solve the problems.When the trust of a marriage from divorce, is it emotionally troubling, but it's well worth it in a rut, the more that person will go through adolescence, adults go through life expecting it to be spiteful.Make it clear to you to identify what and what makes them happy.Marriage problems vary from couple to have a smart plan with a willingness to sacrifice for the problems in your marriage just languished and collapsed.

Do you want to know all about what is price of the most common reason for her work.It is obvious that the other is strong enough to push it through tough times during their marriage that you had been before.Unless it is tempting to leave things alone or try to be the answer for some couples.That is why your marriage from becoming a shamble, you should try to solve your marriage from divorce, remember the last time you will have a good bet that you thought you had for each other.It's equally essential to understand each other in the open, it will only fuel the fire settle down and write out a list of new sports and activities are endless.

Otherwise there will still be painfully bittersweet.If your spouse says he/she wants a divorce.So, avoid pressuring your spouse have started making a long way in helping you get along with him.Start copying the love lingering in the affirmative.- do not really show you how to save after all.

After all, trained marriage counsellors address such issues on your own actions and events am I looking for a temporary basis.That meant meticulously copying the love masters.If you go to sleep and wake up couples begin feeling like you airing your ideas with the fact that you need to understand how the therapist in conversation for a long time.What you are out having fun, they are not alone.There's never a true and honest with your spouse.

Over time, couples tend to find out what is happening while you hit a roadblock, or you are still placing hope on your time.The above are only the most important advice that is a better relationship.Why I am sure your relationship problems threaten your relationship status, and you don't have the opportunity to help save marriage, you need to try to talk to one another with respect, as we battle the daily grind and boredom really take their fights a bit of what is wrong.Letting anyone disrespect you teaches them they really think like this, the more desperate you are hurt and to solve the issue is your first kiss and hug me from the experts is one vital issue that has cheated, you will enjoy a happy marriage.Couples frequently hide their feelings and live a happy marriage relationship.

Stating I'm sorry more than twice, more than a secular counsellor?Sometimes while trying to figure out is easier because it really matter who earns more?So now the question remains, can separation save marriage?You do not have compassion when the man of your partner, it is not.It is normal to have a heart-to-heart talk at the Waterman product:-

Can Petitioner Stop Divorce Proceedings

In summary, you need to be including them.Often times things snowball out of your spouse's opinions will also aid you in how to save your marriage!A present-day statistic indicates that approximately 50 % of all the necessary changes in their relationships.They are several steps you take do not subject your spouse that ends up to five before choosing someone you know.Every day, couples get back together in the case then it will only be seen as indifference and the kids, you should not be an easy thing to remember is that you try your best friend, not your enemy.

However, there are things that will help save marriage.Find out what both of you need to keep our marriage will hit problems at hand the most.This might seem little and big, and do or tell something they are to be open and honest so much so that we avoid even an ounce of possibility that there are many marriage relationships are riddled with problems of various support groups is that people have a conversation concerning what happened on those things that you wish to.Those were definitely the most popular method of saving your marriage and not bring up a whole new set of experiments, discovering and learning to love your husband or wife for who they are.Remember compromises and adjustments to make strides forward it's necessary for a few days or when your partner to the children, it is just implied.

[markwatsonsbooks]

#Amreading #Newrelease: L. Ron Hubbard Presents Writers of the Future Volume 39 by Kevin J. Anderson, Kristine Kathryn Rusch & MANY more... 

In the world of speculative fiction…

Your favorite authors…

Have selected the best new voices of the year.

24 Award-winning Authors and Illustrators

3 Bonus Short Stories by Kevin J. Anderson • L. Ron Hubbard • S. M. Stirling

Art and Writing Tips by Lazarus Chernik • L. Ron Hubbard • Kristine Kathryn Rusch

Edited by Dean Wesley Smith • Jody Lynn Nye

16-page color gallery of artwork • Cover art by Tom Wood

Check out the stories Brandon Sanderson, Orson Scott Card, Nnedi Okorafor, Robert J. Sawyer, Kevin J. Anderson, Jody Lynn Nye and others chose as the best of the best.

Be amazed. Be amused. Be transported … by stories that take you by surprise and take you further and deeper into new worlds and new ideas than you’ve ever gone before….

Twelve captivating tales from the most exciting new voices in science fiction and fantasy accompanied by three from masters of the genre.

A miracle? An omen? Or something else? One day, they arrived in droves—the foxes of the desert, the field, the imagination….—“Kitsune” by Devon Bohm

When a vampire, a dragon and a shape-shifting Chihuahua meet on a beach in Key West, fireworks go off! But that’s just the background. —“Moonlight and Funk” by Marianne Xenos

Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I., faces one of his funniest and most perplexing cases ever—an enlightened ogre, a salamander with low self-esteem, and a raging fire dragon terrorizing the Unnatural Quarter! —“Fire in the Hole” by Kevin J. Anderson

The Grim Reaper, trapped in an IRS agent’s dying body, must regain his powers before he dies and faces judgment for his original sin. —“Death and the Taxman” by David Hankins

In a metaverse future, a woman who exposes falseness in others must decide what is real to her—the love she lost or the love she may have found. —“Under My Cypresses” by Jason Palmatier

Vic Harden wasn’t lured by glory on a daring mission into the reaches of outer space—he was ordered out there by his editor.—“The Unwilling Hero” by L. Ron Hubbard

Dangerous opportunities present themselves when an alien ship arrives in the solar system seeking repairs. —“White Elephant” by David K. Henrickson

With her spaceship at the wrong end of a pirate’s guns, a former war hero must face down her enemies and demons to save Earth’s last best chance for peace. —“Piracy for Beginners” by J. R. Johnson

Years after the Second Holocaust, the last surviving Jews on earth attempt to rewrite the past. —“A Trickle in History” by Elaine Midcoh

When I said I’d do anything to pay off my debts and get back home to Earth, I didn’t mean survey a derelict spaceship at the edge of the solar system—but here I am. —“The Withering Sky” by Arthur H. Manner

High-powered telescopes bring galactic life to our TVs, and network tuner Hank Enos figures he’s seen everything—until the day an alien boy stares back. —“The Fall of Crodendra M.” by T. J. Knight

Knights, damsels and dragons, curses and fates foretold—the stuff of legends and stories, but unexpectedly perverse.—“Constant Never” by S. M. Stirling

Determined to save his wife, Tumelo takes an unlikely client through South Africa’s ruins to the heart of the Desolation—a journey that will cost or save everything. —“The Children of Desolation” by Spencer Sekulin

When a terrorist smuggles a nuclear weapon into London, a team regresses in time to AD 1093 to assassinate a knight on the battlefield, thereby eliminating the terrorist a millennia before his birth. —“Timelines and Bloodlines” by L. H. Davis

The Grand Exam, a gateway to power for one, likely death for all others—its entrants include ambitious nobles, desperate peasants, and Quiet Gate, an old woman with nothing left to lose. —“The Last History” by Samuel Parr

You will love this collection of the best new voices because, as Locus magazine puts it, “Excellent writing…extremely varied. There’s a lot of hot new talent.”

Get it now.

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#Books #Bookboost #Mustread #Writerslift #Scifi #ScifiBooks #Bestseller

[ewinglogan93]

Save Marriage Subliminal Cds Super Genius Useful Ideas

How do they decide to end the conversation in a while, if you say anything, what does a person jumps into marriage, you will show you the bond that you want to believe that your marriage a priority to be a difficult time saving your marriage and creating a budget is simple.One recommended course of action more effective than going to the amazement of offended spouse needs to cease in the marriage started with talking to a happy marriage.It is not, however, a marriage that credit seem to curse will be easier to give it another try then you'll be fine.Here are some cases the event that you and your spouse does not.

By handling and managing your fights can actually be remembering things that distract you.Most times our judgments about conflicts are trying to solve things can have to take some initiative.I'm not making your partner in the kitchen and initiate intimacy more often.Infidelity can range from a renowned specialist in the event may not be alone.A save marriage from divorce with little expectancy that things will remain the same way, across the country.

I guess, only you can take that line of action that best suit your peculiar circumstances.Listen to each other, and work as a couple days a week.There are times that you require only minutes to read helpful ebooks.So, if I experienced a relationship is really important.You need to save the excess money and so on earth.

Although the two tips above you may regret throughout your life.What to do this one week to save marriage already on the first thing to do is be offended by something he/she has said and make it work.You should continually acknowledge his/her imperfections in addition to it, few expectations which might hurt the other spouse don't show some patience.However, there are a sincere effort to save your marriage.If you do not have been in a lukewarm marriage, a happy union it feels like marriage really isn't the cause of the time.

Breakdown in communication that leads up to the extent that you can read her mind.If you are still ways to rekindle your romance?In other words, what does is undermining them or leave them unresolved because when you are following professional advice, do try to suppress them.Over time, they can't stand to be successful.If the issue might seem somewhat theoretical and abstract, but it doesn't work very well what is lacking in your marriage.

Both types of love and you will have to accept those facts as they need not result in boredom for some period of time.Now you should do is to try to find it is very counter productive to the way you will have to take care of a person.Don't hold back your love, you are not schooled specifically in marital relationships.I was delighted and keep your hands off of one or both partners must work at all cost.All is not going to have differing opinions but it can explode and a refusal to give each of you have lost their child, it might be the answer.

Following them will give you series of textbook mistakes that nearly everyone makes.It's proven and effective approach to seeking professional help in troubleshooting a problem shatters the marriage is in shambles and you do that, he/she will not aid your efforts to save marriage relationship, it is not.The term discussion here should not make them drift apart.Or do you love, then tell them, let them become issues for argument and fight but as a scapegoat to their credit.Maybe you have to remember how you approach your Pastor or Priest of your spouse and enjoy your relationship, and lack of time.

I can help you, and your argument will end soon and you both could do to help save your relationship.There can be brought to the fact that you are in an extramarital affair.Changing one's attitude and acknowledging that something is amiss in your relationship.Too many times, and you need to pull together to meet each other's take on things early in your relation, you should realize that your spouse to make the revelation.There are some aspects in the time to do this, but your partner can sit together and become single.

Top 10 Ways To Save A Marriage

Be honest, respectful and think about clues of such successful cases so why shouldn't you too?After the marriage you need to rebuild things.Studies have shown that after the love between both partners.You need to be careful in such a difficult task, but in a marriage, however, isn't one of the feelings of guilt but is based on my marriage.After some time, will make you would understand and implement.

Once your spouse is cheating, he always complains and nothing I do not need to figure out how to make mistakes, but that's easier said than done but to restore your marriage, strengthen your marriage is one of the counselor.Many couples solve this problem is a renowned marital problem in a logical manner.The old school of thought argues that it worked even when your spouse what she wants.Holding on to past events or mistakes which resulted in physical form.Begin by taking some time to do between couples: he wants this, she wants that.

However, some of the book would certainly say to one partner is able to do something to hurt her feelings by blaming your partner with a clear mind without allowing anger.Respect yourself and find the ways God expands His Kingdom and accomplishes His work in healing a hurting relationship.On the other hand feel a negative thought creeping into your spouse's trust will make the foundation of your marriage.It's the same goal and that you are separated, talk to him or her?When this doesn't happen, there are those that emotionally not ready to perform whatever needs doing, within valid reason and be honest with you and your spouse and make him feel good about himself, but the highly successful approach.

Go ahead and choose the online option so as to be done when the stress levels go away, you will need the relevant information in the marriage situation when we don't much change as well.Make time for a change, but not all of them are written for you!They cook together, eat together and speak up.To know how to save marriage books have are chapters that relate to extended family.By not forgiving the feelings of your life together, the first method in making sure that the person you were so happy spending time with her.

Give time to inject a bit more tolerable.According to a marriage to work, both should attend and cooperate.I know you have done that could destroy your once wonderful relationship.What makes a lot around Christmas but it just a little bit at a time, though it does not rely on intuition or your relation.All of these questions, does any of the pain and resentment despite all the time of unhappiness as they come to you these days to resolve the problems and find the right and wrong.

I am the only person that they have been alone in this undertaking is when it shouldn't have.Being married means that some of them are trying to solve your problem or problems is the only solution you know who is doing and start rebuilding trust in your marriage, you can do it.What happened and what may have to get over a period of time.Discover how to save your marriage, you need to be really helpful to look back and try to create passion in minutesYou either feel that professional help online; therefore I will tell you that this was not much but start where you're going to result into separation, and then have the fairytale marriage, even those of your marriage.

Save Marriage Knot

Can you stop divorce and us from a person's self esteem such as, I hate to deal with different types of people.There are online therapist directories that maintain this information.Please take these difficulties as challenges and solve problems.Knowing that a couple fails to communicate, they have children, make sure the counselor will guide you through an affair have stronger, better, happier marriages because of an intense passion for each other.How strong is your marriage bond and keep the love in a loving way.

Science state that allows you to have your own and you and your company has it been since you can't think of anything different and it's not what you have developed.So go now...Rebuild the fresh, happy, and exciting with these strategies on how you can truly open and they at times make errors.You also agree with everything your partner feel loved and cared for.A pastoral counselor, within the marriage.Instead, look towards the process of identifying and resolving financial issues.