#like you dont have to subscribe to the channel. no one is making you do that

[s0fter-sin]

wow so watcher just singlehandedly killed their channel

[britneyshakespeare]

"7-day free trial" bullshit. What happened to God's ordained 30?

[savethepinecones]

i need to stop scrolling through the watcher stuff i feel like im not seeing anything new its just the same arguments over and over again

[foervraengd]

me: i need a tutorial on how to draw X thingie

youtube video labeled “How to level up your X drawing game in 3 simple steps!”:

*3 minutes of B-roll footage with lo-fi music in the background* “hey whats up youtube! Today i thought about talking about an issue that i often think about when drawing X thing, and im sure a lot of you do as well. So in this video i will break down how to get better at drawing X thing in just 3 simple steps! Before we begin i just gotta remind y’all to hit that like and subscribe button, you know the drill haha, if you like this video you should check out my patreon where you can see the full recording of my art tutorials as well as join our wholesome little art community discord server. I also would like to thank today’s sponsor BetterYelp, because we all know that artists got a lil depression after all. And i find that betterWhelp has helped me combat the dark thoughts and prevented me from throwing the printer out of my window soooo many times lol. Use my code “DrawXThing” when you sign up for a 3 hour free trial :). So whenever i draw X thing i first make sure to start with STEP ONE: use a reference! It might be hard to believe but references helps sooo much when you dont know how to draw X thing, ever since i started using references it’s like a light switch haha. You can easily use sites like pintereest or gooogle to find references of X Thing. STEP TWO: practice! I know i know everyone says this, but it’s true. You actually have to draw X thing more than once, and it might not be easy at first. But i assure you that you will get there :). 3 UNSKIPPABLE ADS. and finally STEP THREE: Self reflection. This one is the hardest to me, because in times like these it’s easy to lose focus and think about other things in life than drawing X Thing. So i started a bullet journal where i wrote down three thoughts i had everyday related to my art. Sorry about my messy desk haha, can you tell i love washi tape and funko pops?? Thank you so much for watching, and i especially want to thank all my patrons who support the work i do and keeps this channel alive. If you watched to this part comment “puppies!” down below!

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 9. YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won & riki

WARNiNGS » profanity, manipulation, underage drinking (DONT!!), mentions of drugs & drinking, angry ynhoon

wc: 4k, if there’s typos IGNORE PLS 😞🙏🏼

video description: welcome back to my bubble! in todays video i started off with a cute quick grwm then vlogged my night out. unfortunately the video ended off on a bad note but tysm for watching! hope u come back ^.^

you prop the camera up on your vanity and smile. you wave, “hi guys! welcome back to my little bubble!” you spin your rotating shelf of products and reach for your primer. “today, i’m getting ready for a night out. won and riki said they’re 10 minutes away.” you look into the mirror, behind the camera and begin applying your primer.

“i’ve already changed into my outfit and done my hair as you can see. just need to do my makeup.” you smiled softly at the camera and reached for your foundation, showing it in the frame like a true beauty influencer. “i was talking with kat and giselle the other night and we came up with like a whole list of videos i should do” you began blending your foundation, taking to the camera simultaneously.

you had started vlogging around the same time the podcast started. at first it was just short vlogs but since the podcast started taking off you had gotten more comfortable around the camera so the vlogs started consisting of what you ate in a day, a typical recording day, day in your life and much more. soon enough your vlogging channel started taking off as well because people enjoyed the way you spoke to the camera as if it was one of your friends.

“oh my god i didn’t even say what we were doing tonight sorry guys” you laughed a little, blending out your concealer you had put on. “i’m sure you guys remember yeonjun, he was in my new years vlog” you paused, blending the area on your chin then spoke again. “well he’s having a party tonight so me won and riki are going. well me forcefully. sunoo giselle and kat couldn’t join because they’re doing other things. bummer right?” you pouted softly to the camera and looked back in the mirror, moving to the next step of your routine.

“kat and sunoo said they would meet us afterwards and im hoping so because riki was a mess to take home after the new year’s party” you shuddered at the sheer memory of new year’s eve and how much riki bothered you that night. “honestly im glad we’re going out because i haven’t seen won or riki aside from recording days.” you glanced once more at the camera, smiling. “between us, i think they missed me too” you giggled softly, looking back in the mirror.

“you know since we hit 600,000 subscribers a couple days ago, should i make a special video?” you furrow your brows, looking at your reflection then back at the camera. “you guys should let me know, if i should post that list of video ideas we came up with, some of them are pretty fun” you began setting your face, the translucent powder locking everything in place.

just as you were going to do your eyes, the doorbell rang then a series of knocks followed it. you looked at the camera and a smile grew on your face. “they’re here!” you picked up the camera, walking through the apartment and to the front door. you opened it and turned the camera to face jungwon and riki. “oh you’re filming already?” jungwon smiled and waved to the camera. “yep!” you peeked your head out from behind the camera and riki began laughing.

“you look so weird without your makeup fully done” riki blurted out, trying to conceal his laughter but failed miserably. you squinted your eyes and moved to the side so they could both come in. once riki walked past you, you slapped the back of his head making jungwon laugh. “hey!!” he shouted, rubbing the spot. you smiled at the camera once again, ignoring riki groaning in the back. “sorry guys, let’s get back to the routine!”

the three of you walked down to your room, you sitting at your vanity and jungwon and riki plopping on your bed. “yn how much longer is it gonna take” jungwon opened his phone, scrolling on it. “just about 5 minutes. guys did i give you guys a life update?” you looked to the camera, smiling as you put on your eyeshadow. “well, incase i didn’t basically i got this new hairdryer, no it’s not a dyson or a shark but it gives me the best blowout look”

you brought some of your hair to the front, showing off the curls. riki picked his head up, his interest piqued. “wait really? i’ve been needing a new hairdryer” you looked at him through the mirror and nodded “it’s in the bathroom” you mumbled, setting your face with setting spray.

“guys please invest in good setting spray because my makeup used to melt off when i didn’t have a good one and once i changed to this one it literally stays” you showed the setting spray in frame, once again like a beauty influencer. “i feel like i also got so many compliments on my makeup once i started using it” you mumbled, closing one eye to put on eyeliner and focused so you wouldn’t mess up. “i don’t know why but anytime i have like noise in the background i can focus on my eyeliner better, maybe i'm just weird but it really does help” you chuckle lightly at the sound of the hairdryer turning on in the bathroom.

“i think i say like way too much. kat also suggested a video where i count the amount of times i say like or something like that.” you paused and looked at jungwon through the mirror and the two of you start laughing. “you said like 4 times in that sentence!” he shouts out, laughing so hard his face turned red. “it’s such a bad habit!” you replied, trying to control your laughter so you could put on mascara.

riki emerged from the bathroom, now with voluminous hair and soft curls. “that hairdryer is amazing” he admired himself in your vanity mirror making you laugh. he spotted the eyeliner and picked it up, inspecting it like a curious cat. “you think i should put some eyeliner on?” he looks to you as you fix your hair, makeup now done. “i think the viewers would love if you and won put eyeliner on” you smiled at the camera, picking it up to record both riki and jungwon. “come on won get up!” riki slapped jungwons butt, making him groan and stand up to go to the bathroom.

you brought a makeup brush to mimic the eyeliner. “just shut one eye and glide smoothly, rub it out a bit so it gives that cool smokey eye look” you demonstrate with the makeup brush. both boys watching carefully. you record riki, him putting the eyeliner on with ease and rubbing it out, then doing it to the other. he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled as if proud of himself. “wait that looks so sick. riki do mine like that” jungwon gasped, now finally putting his phone down and his face in front of riki. “i just have to do everything around here” riki sighed jokingly and did jungwons eyeliner.

“riki i think you should be an mua instead of a twitch streamer.” you giggled behind the camera making riki glare at you. “i literally streamed one time and you guys can’t let it go” he sighed out, moving away from jungwon so he could look at himself in the mirror. jungwon smiled, ruffling his hair lightly. “don’t we all look good” you mumbled, behind the camera, looking at yourself in the mirror as well. the camera captured all three of you in the mirror. “i say we coordinated pretty well.” riki spoke up, you analyzing each of your outfits.

you wore a simple black minidress with detailing around the corset. riki wore a pair of grey baggy jeans as well as black shirt and a black leather jacket to go with it. jungwon brought in a pop of color with a red and black racer jacket with a black sleeveless top under, with a pair of black jeans. “we did didnt we?” jungwon smiled, looking to the two of you then fishing his keys out of his pocket. “shall we?” riki nods, the three of you walking out of the bathroom.

you flip the camera back to you. “luckily the drive from my apartment to yeonjuns house isn’t insanely far, so i don’t have to go yet guys.” you point to the camera, smiling. “i probably wouldn’t have shut the camera anyways” you laugh out, shutting the front door behind, locking it and matching your pace with riki. “yeah the camera is glued to your hand” “but you guys love it!” “.. yeah”

“you see guys riki acts like a menace on the internet but in real life he’s actually a really nice person. he’s taking best friend applications right now!” you angle the camera towards him and he laughs. “i am actually not. won and sunoo are my best friends” “not for long..” jungwon mumbled back, making you laugh and riki stare at him.

in the midst of your rambling and joking the three of you made it to the car. riki and jungwon in the front and you in the back. “you know everytime we go anywhere it’s war to get the aux” you flip the camera to show jungwon and riki slapping each others hands to get the aux cord. “you literally got it on the way here!” riki groaned out and jungwon snatched the cord from him, plugging it in his phone. “yeah well it’s my car. learn how to drive and maybe you can play travis scott” riki gasps, as if offended and you burst out laughing, flipping the camera back to you.

“no one really talks about it but sitting in the back is actually fun. because while those two are having their own conversations, i can sit back here and just mind my own business with my cute little camera.” ‘u got it’ by frank ocean starts playing in the car as jungwon begins driving. riki rolls his eyes at jungwon playing frank ocean once again but smiles softly. he loves it too. you look at yourself in the camera, fixing a hair out of place. “did i tell you guys about my apartment floor drama” you look to the screen and pause, as if an actual audience would respond.

“it’s kinda crazy because my apartment floor has this couple living on it and they have argued like every single day out of this week, like i see the girl burst out crying when she walks out. i feel so bad because they’re a lot older than me so i can’t really reach out or try and befriend her. it sucks though” you pouted softly at the camera. “besides that, the old lady on my floor is getting mad at some dude again. as always, living in apartments is not really that fun honestly. i still love my place though!” you sigh and smile at the camera, riki laughing a little at the way you talked.

“who wants to place a bet on who’s gonna get the most fucked up tonight” riki spoke up, you furrowed your brows. “is yeonjun in on this bet? because if so i think he would be” the two boys start laughing and jungwon shakes his head. “i think riki will” “woah? rude!!” he exclaimed, putting his hands up. “don’t get me started on new years..” you mumble and look the camera, as if communicating with the watchers. “i think won will” you spoke up. jungwon furrowed his brows.

“i’ll throw a wild one, yn!” riki pointed at you and you laughed right in his face. “absolutely not” you scoffed and riki laughed. “yeah we’ll see” you glared at him, wanting to slap the back of his head again but refrained yourself. “well one of us is gonna have to be a little sober to drive home” “we could always crash” you shrugged making jungwon scrunch his nose. “yeah.. sure” he replied, making you giggle at his tone of voice.

“whoever blacks out first owes the other two a hundred bucks?” riki suggests looking the two of you and you ponder on it for a bit. “each?” jungwon asks, side eyeing riki as he nods. “fine, deal” you say, sitting back in your seat once more. you look the camera and widen your eyes a little. “guys the bet is between me and won, riki doesn’t drink” “you were recording?!” “sorry!” you yelled back, making jungwon burst out laughing as he pulled up to the house.

the three of you got out of the car and you looked at yourself in the camera once more fixing your hair. “well guys we’re gonna head in so i’ll pick up the camera a little later! see ya!” riki and jungwon wave at the camera with you and you turn it off. “don’t worry i’ll end it once we’re a bit too drunk” you looked to both of them and riki sighed as if in relief. “thank god i didn’t need a new years recap. you were evil for that you know?” you laughed next to him as the three of you walked closer to the front lawn.

after what seemed like the longest car ride ever sunghoon jake jay and heeseung arrived at yeonjuns house. “god finally.” jay mumbled, shutting the door and glaring at jake as he got out of the drivers seat. “hey if you didn’t want me to drive you should’ve said something” jake exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “not like you would’ve listened” jay replied, walking ahead of jake and jake looked at sunghoon, mouth wide open.

“cmon jake, he’s just moody” sunghoon shook his head, putting his arm around jake’s shoulder as the two of them walked to the front door. sunghoon didn’t want to be here. he would much rather be at the rink or watching a movie with gaeul. jake rambled on about something next to him but he wasn’t really listening. well he was but not entirely. he just wasn’t in any sort of mood tonight. as they entered the house his nose scrunched at the sudden smell of sweaty bodies, weed, and alcohol. what a great fragrance choice, sunghoon thought.

“heeseung! guys it’s been so long!” yeonjun approached them, dapping up heeseung. sunghoon smiled softly and nodded, all fake though. he didn’t really like yeonjun or his friends. they weren’t weird just a tad bit much. then again sunghoon didn’t have room to speak, he hung out with the same three people all the time.

“so when can i be a special guest on the podcast?!” yeonjun laughed, throwing his hands up. sunghoon and jake eyed each other then sighing and smiling. this was going to be a long night.

you turned on the camera and fixed your appearance a little. “hey guys! so we’ve been here for about an hour, no one’s blacked out thank god. right now we’re playing uno with soobin and beomgyu!” you turned the camera around to soobin and beomgyu who smiled and waved. “annnnd right now riki is winning! here i’ll prop up the camera” you smiled and set the camera down, propping it up so everyone was in frame.

as of now you had only 3 cards left and 2 drinks in your system. “yns gonna use the camera to cheat!” jungwon pointed at you accusingly and you scoffed, almost laughing. “am not!” you shook your head and looked at the camera. “i would never do that!” “that sounds like someone who would” riki laughed next to you and you pinched his arm, making him yelp.

“it’s your turn soobin hurry up” beomgyu complained next to him making soobin side eye him. “you know just because you said that” soobin placed down a +4 and looked to jungwon who only smiled and placed down another. they had planned this. “yn please say you have a +4” jungwon looked to you, making you pout. “ugh i don’t.. oh wait.. what’s this..” you fake confusion as you set down another +4 card. beomgyu gasped and looked at riki with worried eyes. the four of you stared at riki as he set down his last card, in anticipation and it just so happened to be a +4, resulting in beomgyu picking up 16 cards and riki winning the game.

“ughh fuck! you let him win!” beomgyu yelled at soobin making him laugh as riki cheered. “yeah but what matters is that you have 16 cards so i think we all won” you and jungwon kept laughing as soobin and beomgyu continued arguing, neither of them stopping for a breath. you picked the camera back up, trying to contain your laughter. “as you can see beomgyu lost tremendously compared to riki, speaking of how do you feel?” you pointed the camera towards riki who was still cheering.

he looked down at the camera and smiled. “i feel like life is finally worth living.. like i finally have a meaning. the haters tried tearing me down but it didn’t work. we are so back” “the haters should’ve tried harder!” jungwon yelled in response making you burst out laughing at how riki glared at him. just as riki was about to say something the three of your phones buzzed at the same time, most likely the group chat.

ONE NEW NOTIFCATION.

kat: where are you guysss, im in the backyard

you looked up and looked around to spot kat. you beamed once you did find her and the three of you started yelling her name. “finally” you shouted as she got closer, hugging you. “told ya i was gonna come” she let go of you and smiled at the camera, waving. “hi vlog!!” making you giggle. “riki just kicked beomgyu ass at uno” jungwon said as kat took a seat next to him, passing her a drink. “for the last time i was set up!!” beomgyu yelled back, groaning. “fine let’s deal the cards and play again!” she smiled, collecting the cards up from the table.

sunghoon watched jake’s poor attempts at flirting with some girl from the couch. he had to stifle a chuckle everytime the girl rolled his eyes as he rambled. “i don’t know why he does this to himself” jay spoke next to him, shaking his head. “it’s actually pretty amusing” sunghoon smiled, leaning back on the couch, swishing whatever drink was in his cup. “you’ve been off tonight. what is it?” he looked to jay and pursed his lips, as if hesitating to speak.

sunghoon was like that, he didn’t confide in people easily. for some reason he always found himself in this situation with jay, a hefty load on his shoulders. jay looked at him with anticipation because he had already known something was in fact bothering sunghoon, he just didn’t know what. sunghoon huffed out a breath and pulled out his phone. opening a certain chat and passing it to jay. “don’t get on me for replying” sunghoon mumbled, making jay furrow his brows as he read.

sunghoon watched jays expression as he kept reading, his eyebrows stuck in that same angry position. “what the fuck? why didn’t you say anything?” jay looked at sunghoon, placing his phone down on the couch. sunghoon shrugged, sighing as he threw his head back. “hoon don’t listen to her, she’s just trying to rekindle something that wasn’t there.” jays face turned to worry as he saw sunghoon just sitting there silently.

“yeah but what if she’s right. what if i am unlovable” sunghoon turned his head, finally facing jay. jay only looked at him. “you’re not, sunghoon she’s just trying to mess with your head. don’t let her” jay watched his friends face, how it changed to frustration after he said that. he knew after that breakup it was a dark place for sunghoon.

“yeah, you’re right. it’s just been on my mind i don’t know why. i’m sorry if im killing the mood” sunghoon sighed out, now suddenly feeling guilty for pouring his feelings out on jay, a common feeling for him. “it’s normal hoon, don’t apologize. now get up, im taking you home” jay stood up, patting sunghoons knee. sunghoon shook his head, “no i won’t ruin your night” “my night was ruined when i saw jake flirt with that poor girl. now get up man” sunghoon laughed slightly, getting up and standing next to jay.

“let’s atleast tell hee we’re leaving, i think he’s outside” sunghoon muttered to jay who only nodded, leading the way. sunghoon read the texts again, lagging behind jay. the words were etched in his head ‘you’re unlovable’ maybe he should change something. maybe he was doing something wrong.

just before he could look up, he collided with someone, spilling whatever liquid was left in his cup. “oh shit i’m sorry-“ sunghoon looked up from his phone to see you, drenched in said liquid. your friends stood behind you, just as shocked as you were. “i..” “you did that on purpose you dick!” you shouted out, trying to wipe away the alcohol on your hands.

“on purpose?! i literally didn’t even know you were here” sunghoon shouted back, eyebrows now furrowed in irritation. “yeah sure” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “are you stupid. i said i didn’t know” he replied, the same irritation in his voice. jay placed a hand on sunghoons shoulder, gripping it lightly. “okay hoon, just apologize”, he murmured in his ear.

“yeah for some reason that doesn’t seem believable, look just apologize” you crossed your arms, still glaring up at him. sunghoon almost wanted to laugh in your face. “apologize? you were in MY way!” “you were in my way! you probably did it on purpose too!” you shouted back, sunghoon groaning.

“the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you!” sunghoon shouted, a little louder now. loud enough for jungwon to step in between you two, you stepped back, quiet now. “there’s no need to yell man, now go.” jungwon glared at him, almost sizing him up. there was a notable size difference between the two. sunghoon scoffed, “fine” he walked past jungwon, shoulder checking him and leaving jay standing there.

jay laughed nervously as the group glared him down, scratching the back of his neck. “sorry.. he had a rough night. girl problems” jungwon gave him a half ass smile as if to say ‘okay.. go away now’ “yeah he didn’t have to be a dick about it. now can you move?” jays eyes widened at the boys bluntness and stepped to the side, letting the four of you walk away.

“you okay?” kat rubbed your arm as you guys walked towards the front door. “yeah just annoyed, ugh that guy is a dick” you grumbled, wiping away at your dress. “let’s hope we don’t have to see him again” jungwon mumbled in front of you, also quite annoyed by the encounter.

you weren’t as bothered as jungwon was, just a bit shocked. you didn’t like it when people raised their voice at you. it made you feel small, belittled almost. you didn’t like feeling that, jungwon knew that, all of them did. which is why he stepped in. he did that often for everyone, it was just his thing, protecting his friends.

the four of you reached the car, getting in. kat had ubered here so she was riding back with you guys. luckily everyone was pretty sober so going home wasn’t a problem. you sat in the front next to jungwon now, kat and riki in the back.

the car ride was pretty quiet, riki and kat in their own world and you and jungwon way too annoyed to even bother to talk. jungwon and riki dropped kat off first since her apartment came first then they reached your complex. you said your goodbyes (riki flicked your forehead) and went up, entering your apartment.

you pulled out your camera, realizing you hadn’t ended the vlog properly yet. you turned it around and fixed your expression, then hit record. “sorry i forgot to record in the car but that was pretty much it for tonight’s vlog! i’m just gonna take off my makeup, change then sleep. thanks for joining me today and be sure to like, comment, share and subscribe! till next time!!” you waved to the camera as you did your outro and blew a kiss.

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » soooooo ummmm 😅 maybe ynhoon WONT happen as expected. anyways this is when the smau srsly starts taking off so u guys r in for some DRAMAAA. pls like n reblog luvs 💟

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @kittykangz @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping @hyuckies18 @seungwaitamin @taehyunnzly @luvvhaerin @brii-sunwoos-version @won4kiss @cheridiaries

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[kumezyzo]

streamer!gf is also a good idea i’d love to read

again, with this one, its mostly just for me [and this amazingly supportive anonymous] but i still felt like writing it. (although it took me three hours to come up with ideas that made sense lol) i also think this ones kinda ass in comparison to the others.... sorry.

but yea, this is streamer!gf that i tried to make gender neutral until the very end really.... enjoy! or dont.... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who most likely knew you from the SMP before you started dating. and only recently when he realized how much he liked you, did he start trying to pursue the relationship (which was maybe over a year and a half ago)

bf!sapnap who agreed with you to not say anything about the relationship for a few months just to let it sit and see where you guys lead

when you do finally announce it, its because you guys notice a genuince shift in the relationship where you can tell its getting more serious.

bf!sapnap who shyly brings up the idea of doing a relationship q&a on your channel after the announcement (that was also on your channel)

during the video, hes very clearly all over you, hugging you and leaning against you. your fans think its absolutely adorable how much of a simp he is.

in the middle of that video theres a moment when you two look at eachother after answering a question and it cuts to you two giggling and looking away from eachother. sapnap with a very clear blush and wide grin on his face mostly because you guys took a break to just kiss eachother which accidentally went on longer than expected

bf!sapnap who didnt realize how many people were already shipping you two when he called you the honourary dream team member once a few years ago

bf!sapnap that gets edits of you (sometimes you and him) during TNTL streams and just on his timelines and tries his hardest to not act flustered although he clearly has that glint in his eye

bf!sapnap who manages to come into your room during the most inconvenient times during your streams. ie. when youre actively and/or loudly simping over an actor in your fav movie or show.

you just freeze mid sentence, mid gesture, and stare at him as he steps into the room. he stares back and peeks his head into the frame and your chat proceeds to spam 'LMAOOOOO's

"can i help you....?"

".....so who were you yelling about-"

"Oh my- GET OUT😭!"

bf!sapnap who will very openly brag about dating you and just talk about dating you (he just wants people to know youre taken🤭)

"well im dating y/n"

"how does that have anything to do with vidcon-"

bf!sapnap who gets teased for not being as good of a gamer as you. and not having as many followers (because youre def. very popular) (i also imagine this next convo with george and dream laughing the entire time)

"sapnap, how does it feel having a girlfriend thats better at minecraft than you?"

"george, shut up."

"sapnap, hes not wrong. and doesnt she have more subscribers?"

"im literally never doing a manhunt again then."

"good, then we'll just have your girlfriend replace you"

bf!sapnap who jokingly suggests yout two starting an onlyfans where he posts videos of you two fucking (but he secretly really wants to). cause he has a whole album of pictures and videos of you two that he would be willing to post (if people pay for it obvi)

again, gimme suggestions and stuff. and show support for my sanity lol -Nony

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo -little bean

Warnings -swearing,mention of abortion, mention of sex , vomiting use of y/n, arguing .Small age gap (matt 20 and reader 22) silent treatment

Angst/fluff Matt

Author note -thinking of making this into a series so let me know what you all think

Part 1

Word count-2k

I brush the hair out of my face ,as I wake up to a empty house.The house was full of silence as my boyfriend Matt and his triplets brother had left the house already for some business meetings taking place at the ware house.I look at the clock on my phone 10:47am shit thats late for me and im still shattered i dont even feel like ive slept at all. Im awoken from my sleepy daze by my stomach rumbled ,I get up brush my hair quickly and head to the kitchen to get something to eat .

I raid the fridge and cupboards in search for something to eat , I decide to have chopped up lettuce,pickled gherkins and some jolly ranchers .I finish my breakfast and head to the couch to watch some TV ,as I sit down I see a note that's been left on the coffee table it said 'hey baby me Chris and nick have got a few more meetings today then what we thought might be abit later home will bring back some late lunch with us .Matt xxxx'. A smile is present on my face the whole time I read his quick note with my cheeks blushed , Matt's smallest actions can still have a massive effect on me even after being together for over a year now .

I flick through the channels as nothing can satisfy me , I decided to open the YouTube app and put some Sam and Colby on specifically the conjuring from last year's hell week .I'm half way through the video when all of a sudden I feel so nauseous I can feel it building in my stomach like a tornado swirling around inside of me , it starts of slow and the next thing I know I'm running to the nearest bathroom thankfully it's matt and i shared one .I throw the toilet seats up and fall to my knees and close my eyes as the first bit of vomit comes rushing up my throat and out of my mouth .I sit there for the next hour bringing up whats left of this mornings breakfast and last nights dinner.

After minutes of waiting for the sickness to come back .I decided to stand up and reach for my toothbrush and paste ,as I brush my teeth I start to think of anything that could of gave me a bug or if there was a stomach bug going around .After minutes I've came to know conclusion of my sickness when it hits me .....shit Matt and I are usually careful if we don't use a condom we pull out or we get the morning after pill but a while ago I joined the triplets on their 6 million subscribers video .During the night having all the huts to ourselves Matt and I decided to get the hut as far from nick and Chris as possible .It safe to say there was some very animalistic behaviour going on in our tent that night , in the heat of the moment no condom or pull out was used and I could exactly get plan b pill from the gift shop so we just left it and thought well it's not going to happen .

I decide that before I start to get myself worked up in a panic , I'll go to the shop and do a test before the boys get back .Once I feel like I won't be sick again I go and throw some leggings and a jumper on leaving my top to go bra-less as I'm reminded of some achiness in them .I throw some crocs on and grab my car keys as i head out .

*Arrives back from shop*

I walk back into the house and I'm thankful that it's still silent meaning I'm the only one here .This is my first ever pregnancy scare so I'm not expert , I end up buying 7 different tests and some mints to settle my stomach and yet some more gherkins.I wonder around the kitchen with my hands full of tests in search of a cup or container as i dont feel like peeing 6 different times .I decided to keep one unused so i can do it again with matt incase he doesn't believe me .After finding a disposable cup I drink 3 cups of water and walk around the house doing some cleaning while I wait for the water to hit my bladder .I feel a urge to pee and walk to the bathroom, I position the disposable cup where it's supposed to be and let me bladder do it's job I open all the tests and when I'm finished place the 6 sticks into the cup .I start pacing the bathroom but decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in this situation .So I make my way to the kitchen and put a kettle on figuring that a hot drink may help my nerves while killing the time awaiting the tests.I walk back to the bathroom once then minutes are up and as I pull all the tests out I stand in shock as they all say the same ....I'm pregnant.

Fuck fuck fuck is the only word that is running in my head , what am I going to do ,what am I going to say , what's Matt going to say his career is at its prime right now what will a baby do with this .Fuck their triplets , twins run on my side of the family what if there's more then one baby in there .I hold onto one of the tests in my shaky hands as I pace the bathroom.After minutes of walking around the small white tiled room I decided to hide all the tests and put them in a draw in Matt and my bedroom and I decide to text matt.

Y/n: hey babe was just wondering do you know how long you're gonna be xx

My phone pings instantly telling me that most likely it woul be Matt had texted me back

Matt:yeah not long just grabbing some maccies won't be long everything okay at home ? Xx

Y/n: yeah just got something to talk to you about xx

I avoid my phone until he gets back .I'm startled as I hear the door fling open and just one set of foot steps ."y/n?" I hear his familiar voice Matt is calling after me ."in the living room" I shout back to him .Seconds later he appears looking as perfect as usual "where's Chris and nick?" I ask him "they was fucking around when we was supposed to be signing cards for merch getting sent out so they went back to the warehouse to do their signing , Laura is gonna drop them off later tho .What's this thing you wanna talk about?" I pause with words moving rapidly around my head trying to think of the right way to tell him that I'm now pregnant with his child .I decide that no words are the right words so I take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom.

His body stills while his eyes move over what the tests all say .The room is silent , too silent."Matt says something " I say breaking the silence ."when did it happen" he says still not taking his eyes off the tests "at the safari , in the hut that night" I respond back to him "fuck" he mutters to himself as he storms out the door .I stand there in silence as my eyes well up with tears.I hear the jingle of Matt's car keys and the door slamming telling me that Matt had left again and gone in his car .I walk into the living room now numb with emotions my hand rests on my lower stomach now knowing that through the layers of skin and muscle is our baby ,my baby the size smaller then a bean in this moment I know that I've got to keep this baby wether Matt wants it or not .

Minutes pass and my nauseous feeling comes over me again as I run to the bathroom again.I spend all the best part of an hour again with my head in the toilet when I stand up again feeling weak at my knees I brush my teeth for the 3rd time today trying to get rid of the vile aftertaste left in my throat .I hear the door go again but i hear 3 set of footsteps this time ,and voices nick ,Chris and matts voice ."what are you gonna do bro?" I hear Chris ask Matt "I don't know"he responds "well you and y/n have gotta talk this out Matt you can't just leave her in the bathroom like you did last time " I hear nick snap at the boys .

"Y/n" I hear nick call out me ."I'm on the bathroom just about to come out" I shout back as I walk into the kitchen .Matt's angry stare softens as he seen my face , I'm now pale and clammy with my skin layered in a thin amount of sweat ."congratulations" Chris says breaking the tension in the room "thank you" I say with a half smile ."so I think you two have gotta talk about this" nick states ."I'm not getting rid of it" I say quickly that being the only thing I'm sure of right now ."I wasn't even going to suggest that" Matt says with anger in his voice .Nick ,places his hand up to Matt in a urge to shush him "calm Matt" he says to him."is it mine ?"matt asks me looking me in the eye "are you fucking kidding me" i say in the exact tone that matt has.Nick and chris take this as a hint and both excuse themselves to different rooms "yeah I'm being real" he says raising his voice , it being full with anger ."you're the only person I've slept with matt you know that" i say to him storming off into our shared room .

*Few hours later*

I hear a knock at the bedroom door hoping that it's Matt ."come in" I shout sounding optimistic.The door opens and nick strides in with a sorry smile on his face "so that was intense" he says as he sits down next to me on the bed "yeah" i agree with him ."so i dont know if this is the right thing to say but im really glad your'e keeping the baby" he says nudging my arm ."yeah i am too , i just hope that matt feels the same " i say smiling properly for the first time today ."alright its getting late so I'll leave you to sleep i heard creating a baby can be tiring "he says with a small laugh.

Just as nick leaves the room Matt enters it , he ignores me acting as if I'm not in the room as he goes to the wardrobe grabbing some spare pillows and duvet he walks back out of the room as I sit in bed listening to him getting comfortable on the sofa .I think to myself how much of a long night I'm in for I can never sleep properly when I'm not with Matt and even worse knowing that he's mad at me .As the thoughts come to my head added with the extra hormones that pregnancy has brought on my eyes start to fill with tears when they fall down my face .I have so many questions running over my head thinking how I'm going to bring up a baby by myself although nicks previous words bring some form of comfort to me .As the clock strike 4 am and im still wide awake and emotional i decide to head to the bathroom and take a calming bath .Im thankful that both nick and chris's rooms are on different levels as I run the tab the sound of water echos through the room .I rid of my clothes and get into the bath now full of bubbles I close my eyes in attempt to relax.

Suddenly my nauseousness creeps up on me again , who ever called morning sickness 'morning' has never experienced this cus it seems to be all throughout the day already .I jump up from the bath with my wet hair sticking to my body as I move quickly to the toilet I throw the lid up and sit on the floor as bile begins to leave my body .I startled as a soft towel is wrapped around my body ,I look up to see Matt crouching next to me with his eyes full of tears himself .His hand rubs circles on my back as I start gagging again ."let it out baby it's okay" he whispers I release bile 3 more times as I pull back and rest my head on Matt's shoulder as he pushes my hair out of my face ."come on let's go to bed and talk " he says so quietly careful not to wake his two brothers up .He stands up and picks me up bridal style still with the towel wrapped around me .He carries me to our bed and uses his foot to close the door as he places me gently on the bed .He goes to our wardrobe and fetches me some shorts and one of his tops , he helps me get dressed as my body is weak from the vomiting.Once I'm dressed I lay in bed as Matt walks over to the other side of the bed and jumps in to bed with me .I sit waiting for him to speak "y/n im sorry for what i said and done earlier i know that you would never cheat on me and id never ask you to get rid of it .Whatever you choose ill support you .Im sorry ive treated you like that when you needed me the most ..." I cut his speech off with a kiss "I know , I know babe and we're going to be fine I want to keep this baby tho" I say to him looking him in his eyes "we're going to be a mommy and daddy" he says to me smiling ."we best tell our parents" I say to him before falling asleep in his arms .

[xas24]

Balde doing a vlog with you and hes all lovey dovey w u throughout the whole video💕

gazing ~ alejandro balde

summary: alejandro can’t keep his eyes off his girlfriend whilst filming a youtube video with her.

y/n tried to hold in her laugh as she watched alejandro attempt to balance her camera against the stack of hardback books. she knew the camera was on due to the flashing, tiny red light and she made a mental note to put his struggling face in the usual mini bloopers at the end of the video.

he finally fixed the camera and sat back onto the couch with a relieved sigh.

“hecho?” (done?) y/n softly giggled as he gave her a little smile and a nod.

“vale, siguiendo con el vídeo...” (okay, carrying on with the video..) she brought her phone up and opened it to the instagram questions she had saved from a few days back.

she wasn’t really a massive youtuber, but she had a small channel with a few thousand subscribers, which had then started to increase once people found out she was dating alejandro balde.

she didn’t think much of it and honestly forgot about her random videos she had posted up there; but obviously, being alejandro’s girlfriend, people wanted to know more about her and their relationship.

so after about two months of putting it off, she finally decided to cave into everyone’s pestering and sit alejandro down for a quick and short video of answering some of the fans’ questions about them.

and that is what they were currently attempting to do - the two sat close together on the couch, infront of the camera that y/n mainly used for these random videos.

“sí, continuemos.” (yes, let’s carry on) alejandro replied as y/n looked through the many answers. alejandro’s eyes never left her focused figure, brown eyes taking her in. the corner of his lips upturned a bit the longer he stared at her, before turning his gaze to the camera, knowing it caught him staring.

“¿cómo se conocieron?” (how did you both meet?) she read out and looked towards him.

balde answered whilst glancing between her and the camera. “bueno, ella es amiga de uno de los miembros de los medios de comunicación social en Fútbol club Barcelona y vino a entrenar con ella una vez. nos conocimos a partir de ahí.” (well, she is friends with one of the social media members at Football club Barcelona and she came onto training with her once. we met from there)

y/n nodded, slightly blushing. “sí, no quería molestarles durante el entrenamiento. soy un gran aficionado del barcelona y como mi mejor amiga trabaja allí, pudo llevarme sólo una hora.” (yes, i didn’t want to bother them during training. i am a big fan of barcelona and since my bestfriend works there, she was able to bring me just for an hour.)

alejandro looked at her whilst she talked. his arm, that was first resting on his knee, went to lay against the back of the couch behind her.

“vale, next question..” alejandro chuckled at her heavy accent on her english statement. he loved when she randomly started speaking english around the house, even if he didn’t understand some of the things she was saying.

“¿qué hiciste en tu primera cita?” (what did you do on your first date?) y/n looked at alejandro and immediately burst out laughing, both of them already knowing the answer.

“nada!” (nothing!) y/n chuckled. “no hicimos nada.” (we did nothing)

“¡no lo digas así!” (dont phrase it like that!) he laughed along with her, slightly covering his face.

“me hace parecer un mal novio por no hacer nada en nuestra primera cita!” (it makes me look like a bad boyfriend for not doing anything on our first date!)

y/n reached forward and cupped his face in her hands, having to hold her laughter in but she couldn’t help snickering. “no! eres el mejor novio del mundo!” (you’re the best boyfriend there is!)

she kissed his cheek a few times and alejandro let her, not wanting to playfully push her away just because there was a camera watching them. his arms circled around her body and he pulled her closer to his own.

y/n pulled back and turned back to the camera, leaving alejandro’s arm around her waist.

“ya éramos amigos desde hacía meses y nos sentíamos muy cómodos el uno con el otro, así que acordamos quedarnos en casa y ver una película.” (we already were friends for months now and we were very comfortable with eachother so we agreed to stay home and just watch a movie)

“sí, aún así fue divertido. también cenamos y nos relajamos.” (yeah, it was still fun. we had dinner aswell and just relaxed) alejandro chimed in too.

y/n went to add onto the answer and alejandro just watched her, completely infatuated and smitten. the hand on the back of the couch came up to toy with the strap of her dress, which is an unconscious habit he liked to do sometimes.

he would often start playing with her clothing, her jewellery, her hair and y/n didn’t mind. in fact, she loved when he did that. it made her feel comforted, having that close proximity with him most of the time.

he watched, or more stared, at her whilst she spoke, eyes jumping for one feature on her face to another as his teeth bit down on the inside of his cheek. his fingers kept mindlessly playing with the soft material of the bow tie holding her dress up.

that’s how the rest of the video went, which was only for a few more minutes. y/n asked the questions and answered some of them. she would turn to alejandro for his opinion, which he would reluctantly give, before helplessly returning back to daydreaming and gazing at his girl.

[raptorladylover6969]

VERY passionate rant under the cut

“The Handler has dino DNA‼️” “The Handler is a robot‼️” “The Handler is a Brooklynn clone‼️” GET OUTTTTTTT GET TF OUTTTTTT I AM SO SICK OF THE SAME. GOD DAMN. DOG SHIT THEORIES. IM TIREDDDD OF IT. ITS THE SAME THING EVERY TIMEEEEEEEE AND I HATEEEEE IT. I WANT NEW THEORIES. ONES THAT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE. ONES THAT ARENT THE SAME FUCKING THEME ALL OVER AGAIN UGHHHHH.

One thing I hate about Jurassic World youtube channels is when it comes to theorizing abt characters, THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY AND PROPERLY ANALYZE. It’s like they never payed attention in english class 😭 esp when it comes to The Handler, because yes offence, just saying, their “character analysis” videos are absolute shit. I was yapping abt this early with @koi-fish-boy

What I mean is, instead of coming up with new theories, these “theorists” just take already existing theories, slap it into a video, add some other info that is not even considered a character analysis but just info thats RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES. The other worst part is, they never show any evidence to support their theories, they don’t make connections. They just go like “Oh The Handler blah blah creepy lady blah blah whats her deal? Blah oh shes probably part raptor or a clone blah blah blah k like and subscribe” GET OUT- 🗣️🗣️💥💥‼️‼️

I could debunk some of these theories right now even I am feeling THAT petty. “Brooklynn clone?” They don’t have the same facial structure, The Handler is 10x more paler, Brooklynn has a button nose while The Handler’s is straight, and have you taken into consideration that other blue eyed white ppl with freckles exist????? Brooklynn isnt the only white chick that exists 💀 “Dino x human hybrid?” this idea for a plot has been scrapped long ago. And even if she was a dino hybrid, she HAS to retain dino like features, like scales, vertical pupils, dino vocals, sharp teeth. NO, her having big eyes and pale skin DOES NOT = DINOSAUR FEATURES. Theres millions of people with big eyes and who are also sickly pale. “But she doesnt blink!” Yes tf she does I have the timestamps to prove it, she actually blinks A LOT considering the little screentime she has. “Robot??” We see her display humane emotions such as empathy in the final episode (I mean this theory itself has already been scrapped by countless ppl so 😼)

The problem here is that ppl dont reeeeealllllyyyy ANALYZE a character, they just observe the surface, find a couple of things here and there, and call it a day. They don’t use all of their senses when looking into a character, they only document what the naked eye can see. That is NOT what analyzation is about. Character analyzation is about digging DEEPER into the character, putting yourself in their POV, in their shoes, reading their facial expressions, their body language, spending hours playing back the same clips over and over again just to find new info, taking note of the dramatic lighting changes, the ambience, making connections, USING CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS TO UNBOX THE MYSTERYS OF SAID CHARACTER. Cmon guys did we learn nothing from Brooklynn??🤨🤨 like no joke me and @koi-fish-boy spent hours rewatching scenes with The Handler and found a BUNCH OF COOL NEW SHIT THAT NO ONE HASNT EVEN TALKED ABT YET.

People dont also seem to have enough balls to connect neuroscience to their theories, which is strange because incorporating psychology and the human brain, or any kind of science to a character analysis can rlly help with coming up with new theories. Why do you think MatPat’s theories were so good and interesting? It’s because he makes CONNECTIONS. He incorporates math, history, folklore, religion, and science into ALL OF HIS THEORIES. HE PUTS WORK INTO THEM. HE THINKS CRITICALLY.

All theories are valid, even the far-fetched ones, thats the whole point of a theory, its supposed to be crazy, but actually putting in the work to find evidence to support your theory WILL STRENGTHEN IT, and make it 100x more interesting. You can’t just introduce a theory without evidence to back it up, there needs to be at least 1 reason to even consider your theory plausible. Like the clone theory, I’m not entirely against it cuz cloning IS a thing in the JW universe, like that theory makes the most sense cuz its happened before, so why not again? I still think its absolutely crap, but I’ll admit, it makes sense. Why? Cause theres evidence to back it up.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🤗

[katiifaestarot]

Before todays reading: Thank you to the anon who enjoyed my cat Blu's message for everyone. There was only one ASK message regarding that post, so i hope you see this! Im so happy it helped and resonated with you like that! Thank you for taking the time to write up that message! Means the absolute world to me!

ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ

ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ʚ♡ɞ

THE READING TODAY IS: Positive Morning Tea 🫖

☆this reading will include some positivity you need to hear !! Could apply to anything in your life and/or even yourself as a person!

☆the message will be short as i am filming content for tiktok and youtube today as well!

about me

Take a peek at the Links for more Messages, Guidance, Clarity, Confirmation, etc!

• i am posting on tiktok again! Cant wait to see y'all there too ;)

♡ Youtube ♡

• i am doing a youtube collab with @faerytreealtars !! Super excited! Stay Tuned and DONT FORGET to subscribe to BOTH our Channels so you can see our lovely messages once they've dropped!! 😊 ( march 1st, hehe )

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☆ Paid Personal Readings will be opening up in March; 15 slots will be available; March 1st -- March 10th, 2024.

•It will be Email Readings Only.

•I accept only Zelle

•ALL readings will be done in a 'first come, first served' basis. ALL readings will be done On or Before March 10th.

•OF COURSE i will let you know if you made it into one of the 15 slots, and dont worry if you miss out because i will be opening my slots again March 12th, so dont be afraid to try again!

•Will make a separate post on Paid Personal Readings + how you can PROVE to me that YOU did in fact pay me for the reading!!! and Pin it to my blog

☆ Free readings will be done on my Tiktok Lives! (go follow me over there!)

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There are 3 piles and you will be picking through the Angel Number Index Cards in the picture right below this text!!!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- 101 + 999

PILE 2- 333

PILE 3- 1221

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING MY READINGS:

depending on how the reader(YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader(YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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OKAY PILE 1:

Your mind and tongue are sharp, your wit unbeatable, you talent....unimaginable to others.

You hold so much truth, clarity, and purpose within you. You must be secret about your moves sometimes though. People will want to ruin what you have. Make sure you are talking to the correct people.....so your plans arent FORCED to change by either you or an unseen outside force.

Regardless of that though, YOU are embarking on a new journey and for that i am proud of you pile 1 :') !! No matter who you are, what you are doing, or how you are living and being lately, the world is calling for change and you have some great innovative ideas waiting to be shared! Dont be afraid of the change or shift either! Embrace it !!

You are cool pile 1.....thanks for letting me channel for ya' ♡

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OKAY PILE 2:

KEEP MOVING FORWARD IN OPTIMISM, POSITIVITY, AND LIGHT ENERGY.

No negativity allowed here pile 2!!! Dont be fearful, doubtful, or scared of the future you VERY clearly deserve to have for yourself. Make sure your attitude matches the vibe you want to be in and give off !! I.E- MAKE SURE YOU ARE POSITIVELY THINKING AND THAT POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT IS SOMEHOW OCCURRING IN YOUR LIFE!

You are such a sunshine baby pile 2, and i am sorry if people or the world at large has made you feel dull. Because you are SO not dull, you are literally a perfect baby angel who needs to stand in their power, authenticity, and truth. KEEP building positivity around you and KEEP going towards your dreams and goals! Do NOT give up, because you can achieve EVERYTHING you want! Trust ♡

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OKAY PILE 3:

Things around you might be falling away fast OR happening at a speed that causes discomfort for you pile 3. And that is okay and ACTUALLY apart of your plot line right now! HAHA

You are actually doing so well and taking things in stride like you should be doing. You are releasing so much negativity, so much hurt + pain, and so much angsty BS that no longer should reside within you.

Good F---ing job pile 3 !! Right now, you should be planning, planning, annnnd more planning!! Ask yourself deep, tough, LIFE questions! Examples: How can i create the future i want? Am i being too ambitious and keeping in mind the resources i currently have for my ambitions? How can i cultivate better understanding with me and my future? How can i practice self discipline and balance that out with my current reality?

There are so many more examples i could give, but i uuuhh,,,, guess this where you start to do the necessary research to help YOURSELF! ;)

You got this pile 3, i believe in you!! the answers will come!! DW♡

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me! Dont Forget to follow me on Youtube and Tiktok for more messages, guidance, and advice! 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

***AND REMEMBER: your own free will is always present within you; which has nothing to do with me or ANYBODY else. I am NOT responsible for YOUR choices after YOU consume my content on ANY of my platforms.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[matthewmurdockswife]

My Story <3

Tw: suicide,Sh,self-hate

Hey yall so I never really talk about my personal life on here but i feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Within the past two years I have recovered from SH, and an attempted suicide, it was half ass but it was still an attempt. I was playing fast and loose with my life because I thought there was nothing left of it. I hated myself and how I looked, How I always felt so depressed the way my relationships with friends and family always seemed to fall apart but most of all I hated myself.

Im not sure exactly when it happened but about one year ago I met someone. She had similar interests as me and understood me on a personal level and even though we had lived completely different experiences she was there for me. We started talking more and more and I found out she lived Hours away from me in a completely different country, but I accepted our distance and created our connection. She helped me see that my life was very much so worth living. This girl was harley @dwntwn-strnlo

About four months later the only friends I was talking with in person blew up on me with fake excuses about why we shouldnt be friends, one had stolen some of my clothes as well as some of my money. It hurt more not because they left me but because I trusted them and they betrayed me, They left me out to dry and I reconnected with an old friend from middle school, M.

M helped me to realize that my emotional connection to people isnt a downfall but my strong suit. My intense passion love and energy I give to the world only makes me more beautiful not more weak.

Then M introduced me to S. And S is the most kind and gentle and loving people ive ever met. She reflected me in every sense of my love for others. S helped me to realize that just because someone else doesnt agree doesnt mean I cant formulate and stand up for my own opinions.

The three of us became very close and talked nearly everyday. Im not sure exactly when or why, but one day I decided to pull out my phone and film one of our lunches. Me,M and S all really hit it off we loved being in front of the camera and it almost just felt like the camera wasnt even there.

So we kept filming and that night I went home to edit our very first video and I posted it on an old youtube channel. I touched it up and added pretty colours and tried to make it more asethetic and I stayed up all night working on that first video.

And it got 13 views. And a hate comment. And then youtube took it down. But we didnt care. We kept hussling and we never stopped filming and i havent lost passion in the past half year weve been filming, I even branched off to start my own youtube channel because I love it so much.

I know I dont share much with you all and you dont even know my name, but I felt that where I was today was something i needed to share. My group doesnt have very many subscribers and im okay with that as long as it means I get to keep doing something I love.

so unfortunately I have been putting a lot less time and a LOT less effort into my writing. Im in my senior year of highschool and its all or nothing. I really want to do youtube as a career but i understand the sucsess rate is low, I have a backup plan but ill never be as happy as I am when im in front of the camera filming one of our youtube videos.

So I wanted to apologize to those of you who have been waiting for me to post but its very unlikely that i will be posting many or frequent fics anymore im not saying Im stopping im just slowing down. Its been a rough couple of years but ive finally found something I can pour my heart into. I hope yall understand I love yall so much seriously youve given me so much support<3

Love,

matthewmurdockswife <3

Please never hesitate to talk to me about anything through my inbox or my dms <3

@dwntwn-strnlo @fenoy7 @sturnioloshacker @lvrsparadise @querenciasturniolo

[kingdoms-and-empires]

The Rise of Piracy in Interactive Fiction.

Hello dear readers!

There has been a rise in piracy, and though I have mixed feelings on the matter, I can only speak for myself. Please understand that this is to help support me. If you like my writing and you can afford it, subscribe to one of the tiers! I'd love it if you did, and it really does help!!! But if you can't, then I understand why you'd pirate. I don't condone it, but nor do I hate you. I understand. I also used to be in a place where I had no choice but to pirate. But now I can support the things I love! Hopefully, one day you can reach that point as well like I did. If you pirate my patreon links, then do the simple courtesy of participating in my Discord channels or forum, give me bug reports, tell me what you thought of the story! And last but certainly not least, if you like it but cant afford to sub, then share it with those that can!! Thank you! ...but that doesnt mean ima make it easy for ya

GOING FORWARD! THE DAY YOU SUBBED TO ME, IS THE DAY YOU WILL BE CHARGED EACH MONTH!!!

To all my patreons, if you wish to get the early access of the future update, please connect your patreon account to Discord and use it to join the server as a Patron to receive the link inside there.

Remember, the patreon demo will always be 2 or 3 weeks ahead of the public, it will always be released to the public sooner rather than later!

If there is any issue you may have with Discord, either because of ethical reasons or etc, please message me and i will send you a link personally (if i do this, ill share a unique link and ill know if you share it. DONT). This is to combat piracy and my due diligence so that CoG does not think nor believe I am condoning piracy and reject my future submission.

For any authors who would wish to know a way to combat piracy using your patreon and Discord, please message me. 

[tutut2597]

VIXEN GET OVER HERE NOW!!!!

@vixensillybonez

man, this is really late, isnt it..?

Rakan-rakan, I present to you, the most EXTRA happy birthday!!!!!!!

Selamat datang ke tutut2597's birthday post to @vixensillybonez pada hari yang sangat sugoi ini, daripada yang berusaha, Safiyya, manusia yang menulis semua ini. Dan orang yang membuat GIF-GIF yang digunakan dalam post ini, terima kasih kerana membuat GIF tersebut. Terima kasih kepada rakan-rakan yang akan membaca post ini. Majlis, I mean- Post, akan dimulakan.

{ TRANSLATION }

Welcome to tutut2597's birthday post to @vixensillybonez today on this very sugoi day, by (have no idea what this is in english), Safiyya, the human that wrote all of this. And the people that made the GIFS used in this post. Thank you for making said GIFS. Thank you to the fellas that will read this post. (i dont know this word)-, I mean- Post, will begin.

This is an image of Safiyya. ENJOY THIS POST, ESPECIALLY YOU,

VIXEN!!!

REMEMBER THAT ASK YOU SENT ME ON MYBIRTHDAY????1?1??1?1?1 THIS IS REVENG!!!1!1!

FOUND A FITTING GIF I'D LIKE TOO!!!!!!!!!1!1!!1

us if our discussions and opinions went out into the wild (unfollowed, attacked, doxxed, killed)/j

here is my detailed poem cough cough

roses are red, violets are blue

happy sugoi birthday, directed to you!!!!

Kita meneruskan post ini dengan description (seriously my malay is in shambles) dan bagaimanakah saya terjumpa Vixen.

HERE IS A DESCRIPTION OF HOW I'VE BASICALLY FOUND TODAY'S BIRTHDAY PERSON!!!

Now, this may not be in order, BUT if I remember correctly this was the first video I watched from her!

Very sugoi, didn't think much of it, but then I checked the fella's channel and community post.. awesome stuff!!!

Then, I figure out, this person likes Jon like I did at the time (I still do, just... it faded a bit.)

Likes Will Wood songs..

Likes Lemon Demon..

AND WEIRD AL?????

It was this moment, I said, or commented..

"oh.. so you're telling me you like jon and listen to all those three artists...? you're cool dude.. literally.."

[REAL IMAGE]

AND SO AFTER A FEW FUN SECONDS I SUBSCRIBED, I THINK...

watched more videos, then one day i went on pinterest again, then i see, this person ALSO HAS A PINTEREST, AND THEN WE SAW EACHOTHER'S EXISTENCE, AND I KID YOU NOT THE FIRST PHOTO SHE SENDS ME THERE IS OF JON.

then we talked.... and talked.... eventually i got tumblr! because i made an account out of spite when i was unable to view posts as guest.. And basically we both transferred there.. basically..

we talk, YEA!!!!! (but we have some opinions, that, again, will take us to internet jailtime)/j

me and vixen

SO AGAIN, SELAMAT HARI JADI!!!!

*COUGH* SONG SEGMENT!!!!

Selamat hari jadi, selamat hari jadi

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you

Selamat, selamat, selamat hari jadi

Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!!!!!

Extra song! intentional selection.

You is very sugoi

END! We have now reached the near end of this post, unfortunate that it ended so soon, BUT WORRY NOT!! I WILL PERSONALLY GO TO OTHERS' DOORSTEPS SO THEY CREATE MORE POSTS AND GIFTS FOR YOU!! JOKING!

Sebelum kami bersurai daripada post ini, let's say it again.

SELAMAT HARI JADI!!!!

or...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

-Safiyya, tutut2597

[hello-naptiime]

Hi gang

I see were talking about Jonathan Piss ass ToiletJon again

And as someone who was fucking THERE, WORKING FOR HIM WHEN EVERYTHING DROPPED

Oh my FUCKING GOD AM I SO PISSED OFF.

Welcome to my rant/vent

Mutuals look away Im sorry

Tw// for grooming and manipulation. General gross things in that area

Also Jinbop.

First of all Ashlie and Jon did was gross, but where Jon failed at literally everything Ashlie succeeded.

When the news dropped of what happened in 2017 Jon made a fucking video of him crying like a little man child, and then pressed charges (also doxxed himself like an idiot) WHICH IS INSANE BEHAVIOR. Even in his written respone he was only making excuses.

At that time I was in very close connection with him, I was on his build team, I played multiple games with him. He would come into vc and hang out with us for several hours, you could consider us friend maybe! I wouldnt.

But I was at the very least in a lot of personal servers.

So when things dropped I knew almost all of the behind the scenes BULLSHIT that was happening. How everyone waited for it to blow over and stuck by him. (I got kicked out of servers too cause people knew i was against him but I was still told everything by friends who were still in there)

Then February happened. And so much more, much worse things got exposed. From only his end. I won't mention who was involved, out of privacy reasons and because I dont want to drag them into this. But holy shit dude everyone left him after that. It was over, his gross behavior with minors (included me now that i think about, sir why are you calling me and my friends cute we are 15-) His awful and manipulative behavior with people he finds useful, how he treats his teams

. He never credited anything, I made his goddamn Dimensions s2 designs, Eddie made the skins. Only Eddie was mentioned, once on a stream.

Eddie also made designs and skins for Rosethorn, and got credited in video no less.

Its not that hard and yet!

The main point is

He was still acting in 2020, the incident was in 2017. And he was acting like this, in late 2020. Into 2021.

I wanted him to get better. I really did, I had been hyperfixated on this group of people for years it hurt a lot.

But its been almost three years and he infact has stayed the same!

He is a grown ass man acting like a toddler on a public twitter account, what makes this man some one to respect in any sort of way.

Theres so much more shit I know about this man, that I can't fucking say because of the people involved not giving me permission too. And I respect that. Thats their story to tell.

Now ashlie on the other hand.

Ashlie made a concise apology and owned up to her actions, shit she made sure not to happen again. She went to fucking therapy, she broke off that relationship first and has made so much effort to distance herself from that and apologize everyday of her life.

She went to therapy after breaking things off, and she went again after the callout just to double fucking check she wasnt a horrible person.

She initially handled everything that happened in 2017 in private, like youre supposed to do. Not have a public twitter meltdown. And in late 2020 still handled mostly everything privately. She wrote out a full explanation and apology that is still very visible on her yt channel, not her twt her full 100k subscriber yt channel

I THINK, THATS GROWTH and she should be respected for that. She's actively changed as a person from the 20yr that made mistakes

And what's crazy is that Max and Ross still make youtube videos with her.

Max and Ross, YKNOW. The people who made sure fucking Jinbop got arrested and stomp Sky's name into the fucking ground for the shit that Sky did. I 100% trust those two to make a decision about a person in their circle when theyre doing some FUCKED SHIT.

IN FACT, THEY DID DROP ASHLIE WHEN THE ALLEGATIONS CAME OUT. SHE WAS IMMEDIATELY KICKED OUT OF EVERYTHING INVOLVING THEM

And they came back. They came back and started making new things and videos with her, Ross is an active participant in almost all of her videos.

I think that speaks wonders about her.

Don't drag her name through the ground I respect that woman and all of her endeavors in the future, she has more than made up for the fact.

Jon is still an awful person, and I dont think he will ever change. He's had more than ample time to and acts like whinny child on Twitter. Actively tries to pull nostalgia bait on his dying yt channel and mocks his ex "friends'" work. I want him gone from the youtube sphere and to get an actual life.

[florenceisfalling]

astraea k. florence - any pronouns - i make stuff

my carrd is kinda cute if you wanna read it, more importantly it has a bunch of my links! please check them out if you want more of me

here's my navigation page for tumblr. i have too many tags for a pinned post.

here are my sideblogs :)

i make art and cosplay and writing and music and videos and stuff. i am a mermaid hobbyist and also a real life mermaid (and also a dog and a rabbit and a deer and a god). more than one person runs this blog and i usually dont clarify who because its all from one body. i try really hard to be nice so if i do something thats mean you can honestly just go "thats kind of mean" even anonymously and i will take you into consideration!!! i like talking to people and i have a lot of ocs!!! i have also spent the last 5 years thinking about antisepticeye nonstop and 2 years prior thinking about him often.

im a gay little freak and engaged to @wecametobealonetogether who is my best friend and also the hottest sweetest woman alive

gif at the top of this post is from my youtube channel pls like and subscribe :3

i get into a lot of polarizing discourse sorry <3

i tag warnings with "#[word] tw" or, in cases of sexual stuff, "nsft"/"semi nsft"/"suggestive". let me know if you want something tagged!!

[gummy bear album art by my friend @seraphex!!!]

[fluffy-appa]

The days until Ramadan are flying by so lets do our best to prepare:

1) Make Dua, follow in the footsteps of the salaf and make dua that Allah allows you to reach Ramadan.

2) Make sure you have completed any outstanding obligatory fasts you may have missed from the previous Ramadan.

3) Start leaving off sins and bad habits. Some sins like backbiting and lying etc are difficult to leave off immediately, so its best to start working on them now so you dont struggle during the month

4) Increase in good deeds; reciting the Quran is one of the easiest ways to achieve this - with each letter from the Quran recited giving 10 good deeds!

5) Seek knowledge in order to be able to follow the rulings on fasting and to understand the virtues of Ramadan.

(You can find plenty of videos on fasting on our YouTube Channel or for all our MCLPortal subscribers we have a short course on the complete book of fasting.)

May Allah allow us to reach Ramadan