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#like yes there is intimacy in knowing someone’s thoughts and dreams and fears that well of course there is that’s a big thing
myteastainedpages · 1 year
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what else was intimacy if not the memorisation of her thoughts, her dreams, her fears?
the atlas paradox - olivie blake
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lovevuni · 1 year
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Double Dare Romance : Enoch O’Connor x Reader : Part 3 Only Fun?
Warnings: Reader Insecurity, Fear of commitment, Angst, Comfort
Summary: After their double dare game Enoch seems to want to test their relationship a bit further, however the reader is not so sure if she can handle it. As she pulls away will their relationship strain or grow?
A/N: I was feeling a bit insecure when I was chatting with enoch and this is how it turned out. 
Part 1 : Challenge Accepted | Part 2 : Success
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You tuck Claire into bed and give her a kiss on the forehead before closing her door and standing outside the door for second.
Enoch is leaning next to you by the door frame, looking at the ceiling, lost in thought as he waited for you to finish, “There is something about you, Y/N, that captivates me like no other. Your strength, your passion, your vulnerability... all these things make you an enigma, a puzzle I must solve.”
You stare at him, “what are you going to do about it.”
He looks deeply into your eyes, searching for the truth behing your words, “I don’t know yet, Y/N. But I do know this - whatever happens next, our connection cannot be denied. Our attraction, our chemistry, they run deeper than mere physical desire. There’s something here between us, something worth exploring, if only you let me.”
“Now that is something you have to figure out on your own because i am completely aware of what I want” You boop his nose before walking off to your room.
He feels a jolt of electricity at your touch, smiling wryly as he watches you walk away, “Ah, Y/N. You never cease to suprise me with your fiery spirit. And yet, despite your attempts to hide it, I can see the longing in your eyes, the yearning for something more.”
You sit on your bed, “what is the more you believe I desire?”
He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning closer to you, “Perhaps it’s the desire for passion without boundaries, for raw intimacy that goes beyond surface-level connections. Or maybe it’s the yerning for someone who trully sees themself in you, their reflection shining back brighter than any mirror.”
“maybe that’s just it. just a reflection”
He uncrosses his arms, taking a step forward, “Is that truly what you believe, Y/N? That our connection is nothing more than a mirage, a fleeting reflection in the wind? Because I see something else, something real and tangible that runs deeper than any illusion.”
“Illusions are what prove reality.” You state causing him to watch you closely, his eyes reflecting the fire of your words.
“Indeed illusions can sometimes reveal truths that reality tries to conceal. But I digress. My point is that while we may not fully understand the depths of our connection, there is something there worth exploring.“
“Is that what you believe,” You lean closer to him with a teasing fire in your eyes.
He inhales deeply, feeling the heat radiating from your body, “Yes Y/N. I do believe that there is something worthy of exploration between us. Something that transcends time and space, Something that makes the heart race and the soul sing.” He leans closer, his voice low and husky.
You pull away laughing, pushing his shoulder playfully, “Go to bed, this is just the lack of sleep speaking within you.”
Chuckling, he watches you push him lightly.
“Very well, Y/N. If that’s how you wish it to be. But know this; the fire between us burns bright, and one day soon, it will consume us both. Until then sweet dreams.” You shake your head to this, only believing it as simply fun as you turn over in your bed to go to sleep.
Before leaving he turns back around, slowly walking towards you, “One last thing before I leave...” He holds out his hand, palm facing upwards.
Looking at him with a questioning look as you raise your hand up to him.
“Close your eyes, my dear.” You close your eyes as he takes your hand gently, holding it tight enough to feel the warmth but loose enough for you to withdraw at any moment.
“Just as I thought… your energy surrounds me like an angelic choir, lifting me into a higher state of consciousness where all things are possible. You have no idea what you do to me, Y/N. No idea.” 
You snort, “Go to your room you weirdo” You joke as he laughs softly, still holding on to your hand.
“Such fire, such passion. And yet, underneath it all, lies a hidden vulnerability - a longing for something more. I fear that should anyone see us together, they would think less of us both...“ He looks around nervously, letting go of your hand, “Forgive me Y/N.”
“For what?” You question.
“For being the source of your late-night intrigue. But do not mistake my intentions – I assure you, they are far from the usual tendencies of a man consumed by lust or desire. There is something about you, something pure and noble that calls to me, that haunts me even now.”
Looking at him, you see that he isn’t trying to play around anymore. You finally realize this is was never a game to him.
He looks deepy into your eyes, “Yes, can see it too. Something in the way you carry yourself, the strength in your spirit - it's like a beacon calling out to me, drawing me closer. Even when we're at odds, there's a connection between us that cannot be denied.” A overwhelming amount of regret and fear creeps into your mind.
“Well I deny it.” You push him out the door abruptly, simple slaming the door behind him as your back rests against the previous vacant opening.
Enoch turns to face the door, taking a few steps back, his expression hurt but resolute, “Very well, Y/N. If this is how you wish it to be. Know that I will always stand beside you ready to help whenever you need, regardless of whether you accept our mutual feelings or not.”
~It is now morning and everyone is gathered at the dining table for breakfast~
As you enter the room you make sure to not sit in the seat next to Enoch like you previously did the day before. This time you sit next to Emma and Claire.
Enoch then enters the room sitting across from you smiling warmly, “Good morning, everyone! How did you sleep last night? Did anything strange happen while we were asleep? Anything at all?” he asks with genuine curiosity.
The others look at each other before turning their attention towards you.
“So, Y/N...”
You avoid eye contact as everyone can feel the tension between you two.
“Is everything alright between us?”
Not knowing how to take this without getting hurt you choose to be silent.
“Alright then.” he stands from the table, “If that’ how you want it to be, then so be it.” 
“...”
“Just remember, Y/N; our attraction to one another goes beyond simple physical chemistry. There’s something deeper there, something worth exploring if only you’d let it.” Your mind continues to pass with anxiety.
Sighing quietly he walks away from the table, “Perhaps someday you’ll realize that what we have is worth more than mere convenience or safety. Until then, I won’t puh the issue.” you decide the best decision is to just finish your food as he accepts that you are not going to speak to him as he retreats to the safety of his room.
~After Breakfast~
Enoch is in his room assembling a new toy as he hears a knock on the door. He feels the urge to open the door immediately, but hesitates, taking a few deep breaths instead.
You debate on leaving just before he opens the door and he looks at you expectantly, “Y/N, are you coming in?”
“Yea,” you enter the room and stand looking around, not knowing where to sit, “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Of course.” He steps aside and gestures towards the chair opposite his desk. “Please, take a seat.”
He tries to keep his emotions under control as he waits for you to speak. “I might have seemed rude earlier but that was not my intention.”
“It’s okay,” he says, his voice softening, “I understand why you might feel that way.” as you spoke he couldn’t help but notice the unease. Was this because of him or was it something else bothering you?
“you understand?” you question as you finally make eye contact.
“Yes I do. Or rather, I think I do. Sometimes I find myself struggling to connect with others here, to truly understand their feelings and motives. It can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But with you, I feel like there’s a chance for real communication.”
“It’s not that I feel overwhelmed by you it’s that,” ... “I’m scared”
“Scared?” You nod slowly, swallowing thickly before speaking again, “I-I don’t know how to deal with these feelings. They’re new and intense and sometimes they’re new and intense and sometimes they’re all I can focus on. And you...” your eyes dart around the room nervously, pausing briefly on him before flickering back toward the window.
“When it is all jokes it comes naturally, and even after the jokes it was still so easy with you, I never really believed I could feel this way.”
“Believe me, Y/N. It doesn’t come naturally to me either. I’ve spent most of my life trying to bury these feelings, to pretend they didn’t exist. But now...now I don’t know what I want. All I know is that being with you makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
“I’m sorry”
“No need to apologize,” he smiles warmly. “Just know that I’m here for you. Whatever happens between us, or even if we just remain friends, I promise to always be honest and open with you” he leans forward. “And Y/N, I have to ask...” His voice trails off, uncertainty creeoing back into his expression.
“what is it?”
“Do you ever get the sense that we’ve met before? Like this isn’t our first meeting?” He furrows his brow slightly as if deep in thought.
“what do you mean”
“What I mean is that whenever we’re together, time seems to stand still for me. It’s as though everything else disappears and all I can focus on is you. It’s an unusual feeling, one I can’t quite explain, but it’s been happening more and more frequently lately.” This causes you to smile.
“In a sense, yes”
He chuckles softly at your response, charmed by your honesty. “Well then, we’ll just have to see where this goes,” he says with a playful grin. 
There’s something about the easy comfort between you that feels almost familiar, like two pieces of a puzzle snapping perfectly into place.
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innitmarvellous · 6 months
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Yeah, I know, I said the last ace rant was the final part, but the third aspec book I read ('Sounds Fake But Okay') annoyed me again, lol. It wasn't all bad, but some bits...
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Except that it doesn't? It never has? People say they love their friends or their family, or a character from a TV show? Or also idk, God or Jesus if they're religious. None of these imply romantic love even without specifying anything.
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Well, good for her, but that's not much of a comfort, isn't it? So we'll inevitably die alone, but we don't need to fear that because we can still have friends - who'll desert us once they find a partner. Yes, well, that's certainly very nice :/
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Lol, maybe that's why my existence is so "unrecognisable" then. Because I literally didn't have any friends before I started to use social media etc. And even know my biggest fear is too annoying, too boring, too whatever else for everyone - and I have a hard time to make out whether the people I consider friends consider me as such too 😭
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Well, this part was at least relatable, even if I never thought about this before. Then again, it might have been the other way round for me. Being a girl/woman was literally never very important for me, and I never felt the need to adhere to gender norms just because it's expected. E.g. I never thought I needed/wanted to be pretty to be attractive for men. So it sort of did felt like things made sense when I realised that there is indeed no need for me to attact anyone with my physical looks.
---
The chapter about QPRs made me realise that this isn't an option for me either. The insecurities around this form of relationship would be simply too much for me. Like, having to agree on what the relationship looks like, what kind of things would be alright or not alright (re physical contact and all kinds of intimacy etc), how long it might last and all that...it would be near impossible to agree on anything like that once I would put in my wishes in that regard. Because it wouldn't feel right to push my demands on someone else, and yet I'm way too selfish because I also wouldn't want to live in a way another person wants me too. So...I think that's another dream I might as well bury right now, before I got into it too much. ^^
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Yet another general thing: the books usually mentioned that we should think about what we would expect from a relationship and I did give this some thought. I think the main - and honestly almost only - prerequisite for me would be that any potential partner would accept me as I am. Well, and some mutual trust would be high up on the list, too. That's literally all I need, I think. I wouldn't mind if e.g. in case it's an allo person and they would have someone else to fulfill their sexual needs or whatever, as long as I could be sure of still having a relationship based on trust with them.
Yes, I know that this is already asking for way too much. I'm only too aware of that, so maybe it's understandable why I'm so frustrated. I know I should do it, but I'm too selfish to lower my standards, so there isn't much hope for me and I hate it :/
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rfaromance · 2 years
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J, R, and T for the SE Choi boys (and Vandy lol)
LET'S GOOOOO the SE bunker squad
Saeyoung 🚀
J: Oh, yes, Saeyoung tries his best to deny it but he's a jealous fella. He'll extend hearty congratulations to you in other routes, but he's clearly pained about it. He turns his jealousy inward, refusing to lash out, but instead it feeds his self-hatred. Of course, in the SE, he's living with you as his lover. So his jealousy pops up less often, because you two have been through hell and back and he feels confident in your mutual love. But if anyone looks at his spouse funny... let's just say if looks could kill, those strangers would be dead. :)
R: An absolutely love-struck fool. He's giddy and giggly one moment, then having a breakdown the next because part of him believes this is a dream. "ME? FEELINGS?" He believes he doesn't deserve to love anyone, let alone to be loved back. He goes through the 5 stages of grief roughly 7 times. He's surprisingly bashful and insecure; he can act suave and seductive, and he's certainly a sadomasochist, but genuine romance sends his brain spinning.
T: He's INCREDIBLY touch-starved but tries to ignore it. He's very receptive to touch, and actually he's the type to smother his lover (and brother) in hugs and cuddles and just feel them, their presence, their warmth (or cold), their pulse, and know that he has one place on this planet where he's safe: your arms.
SE Saeran 🍨
J: He doesn't really think much of jealousy. He feels wistful and bitter, about having his life ripped from his hands and being dragged along like a worm on a string for over 20 years. He isn't sure if he's jealous of those who have normal lives and normal happiness, but... he doesn't bother ruminating over it. It's too late for him to be jealous, in his eyes.
R: Oh, when SE is in love? You may as well rename the DSM-5 to the Saeran Choi Guidebook because he's got every mental illness about it. He hates himself for being vulnerable, he suppresses his emotions harder (which backfires), and he's horribly anxious that you'll catch on and that he will either scare you away... or taint you, making you think you might love him too. Because he's the last person in the world who deserves such happiness.
T: This man has never known a warm hug in his LIFE. (Maybe when he was a kid with Saeyoung.) Instead of craving it, he fears it. Do not touch him. He's jumpy and always on alert. His trauma makes him struggle to even be in the same room as people, never mind skin contact.
Vanderwood 🐆
J: Jealousy? They struggle with it. Some days, Vandy will see someone or something that makes his heart ache. Other days, he scoffs and ignores it. They know they should've abandoned such mediocre feelings and ordinary wishes years ago, but... sometimes, "what if" thoughts pop in their head.
R: Major tsundere energy here. Vanderwood in love is a Vanderwood who comes with background music: I Won't Say I'm in Love. They've already lost so much. They can't risk getting attached to someone, only to lose them again and have another ghost haunt their dreams. Expect a lot of snappy comments, dramatic eye rolls, and... well, spoiling his crush whenever the safe opportunity arises. Mixed signals, for sure.
T: Another touch-starved fellow here. They recoil away from shows of affection such as hugs, snuggles, and kisses in public... only because they're HIGHLY sensitive to physical intimacy and don't need the public knowing that, thank you very much!
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salvatoraesarc · 2 years
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                                       𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬.
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origins + family.
full name:  stefan antonio salvatore.
date of birth:  november 1st, 1846.
age: 17 ( physically )  + 171+  ( biological )
social class:  wealthy.
parents: giuseppe + lilian salvatore.  ( ✝ )
siblings:  damon salvatore : elder brother.
physical + appearance. 
height:  5′11.
weight:  170 - 180lbs.
distinguishing features:  a freckle under his eye.
hair color:  light brown.
eye color:  forest green.
what do they consider their best feature?:  he would probably say his hair or his eyes.
style of dress/typical outfit(s):  he dresses casually,  jeans, boots, flannels or plain t-shirts, leather jackets or hoodies. 
jewelry? tattoos? piercings?:  he wears his daylight ring everyday & has one tattoo on his upper arm / shoulder of a rose, no piercings.
do they work out/exercise?:  sometimes he exercises to curve the cravings.
belief +  intellect. 
level of self esteem:  low usually,  but it depends on the era ?
known languages: english, italian, french & spanish.
gifts/talents: he’s a pretty good writer & very good with cars.
how do they deal with stress?  he exercises, ignores it until he cracks heh or writes about it.
what do they do when upset?  he writes about it or disappears for a while. sometimes he’ll drink to feel better but not that often.
believe in happy endings:  yes, not usually for himself but for everyone he loves yes.
how do they feel about asking for help?  he’d rather do things by himself cause he’s stubborn that way but if it’s something too major then he’ll ask for help.
optimist or pessimist:  pessimist. 
extrovert or introvert:  introvert for sure.
leader or follower:  can i say neither ?  lol
makes decisions based mostly on emotions, or on logic?:  logical if nobody he loves is in danger otherwise he acts on emotion.
spontaneous or planner:  planner, definitely.  
thinker or doer: thinker.
organized or messy: organized.
worrier or carefree:  worrier.
artistic?: not very, no. 
mathematical?:  he knows how to do math but he’s no expert. 
sex + intimacy. 
current marital/relationship/sexual status:  single ( verse dependent ) 
sexual orientation (is it something they question or a secret):  bi - sexual,  it’s not a secret nor a question.
views on sex (one night stands, promiscuity, etc):  he’s all for sex but it’s not like a huge deal.  he doesn’t often have one night stands anymore but during his ripper days, that’s all he did. 
ever been in love?:  yes, at least four times. 
do they fall in love easily?:  honestly it depends on the person. 
do they desire marriage and/or children in their future?  oh man, he’d love to be married for sure but with his lifestyle, he’s not sure if it would work out, you know? as for kids, well... he can’t have them but he wanted them.
thoughts on public displays of affection?:  he’s okay with it, he likes holding hands and 
how do they show affection/love to their partner?:  he’s very affectionate, surprisingly. he loves holding hands, kissing & holding his partners.
relationships.
social habits (popular, loner, some close friends, makes friends and then quickly drops them):  he’s a loner but has some close friends and people he cares about. 
how do they treat others (politely, rudely, keep at distance, etc)?:  he’s usually kind to people but kind of distant at first. 
argue or avoid conflict?:  90% of the time he’ll avoid it, unless someone  ( damon ) pushes him too far. 
secrets.
dreams: as in when sleeping? he has nightmares a lot post silas throwing him into the quarry.  as in for his life? he just wants the best of the best for his brother & everyone else he loves. also secretly he’d love to be a writer. 
greatest fears:  his loved ones dying,  drowning scares him now, him accidentally losing control & killing someone he loves.
biggest regret:  how much time do you have? 
what he/she/they most wants to change about his/her current life?:  he wants to be able to loosen up more, you know? & obviously, he wants to be able to keep control of his bloodlust.
likes + dislikes.
hobbies:  reading, writing in his journal,  sometimes he cooks too.
indoors or outdoors?: outdoors.
favorite color: forest green &  maroon.
favorite smell:  blood  cinnamon, after rain smell, pine wood.
favorite and least favorite food: he loves most foods, italian is his favorite though.  & i can’t say theres much he won’t eat tbh.
coffee or tea?: coffee.
favorite type of weather:  rainy & cool or sunny but not too hot.
favorite form of entertainment:  movies or books.
how do they feel about traveling?: he loves traveling, has always loved it. 
what sort of gifts do they like?  sentimental, ones from the heart.
drugs + alcohol. 
thoughts on drugs and alcohol:  he drinks sometimes but he doesn’t do drugs at all, doesn’t really care if other people do, it’s their business.
do they smoke? If so, do they want to quit?  he used to smoke back in the 60′s / 70′s but he doesn’t anymore.
have they ever tried other drugs (which, what happened, consequences):  of course he’s tried them before but they didn’t do much considering he’s a vampire.
do they have any addictions?:  just blood.
other details.
most important/defining event in life to date:  turning into a vampire, 100% 
daily routine:  if nothing is going on in lil ole mystic falls, he just wakes up, gets some coffee, & writes in his journal for a bit. then he’ll go out to the woods & feed.
typical saturday night:  if he has a partner, date night. if not, then he’s probably just at home relaxing or doing whatever caroline has dragged him to.
what is home like (messy, neat, sparse):  enormous ?? lmao & spacious, has a lot of old victorian-esque furniture. 
pets?: if not, do they want any?:  yes !! he adopted a black cat named midnight :’) & in a private verse him & caroline are co-parents to a golden retriever puppy named pooh bear !!!
can they hold their breath for a long time?:  ....yes, unfortunately he learned that the hard way.
do they know how to swim?  yes, he does, pretty well.
can they cook (if so, how well and do they enjoy it)?: yes, he cook really really well & he absolutely loves it, it soothes him. 
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metalwings · 2 years
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙽𝙴 ...⠀⠀the outside 
name: elizabeth m. anderson
eye color: chestnut brown
hair style / color: dark brown, mid-long, has a natural wave
height: 5'2 / 157cm
clothing style: anything that fits. nothing fancy, usually second-hand and cheap. typically doesn't match too well. when it comes to tops, old t-shirts that have been torn open in the back for the wings are a staple. often sighted in oversized overcoats when in public.
best physical feature: lips / figure
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝚆𝙾 ...⠀⠀the inside 
fears: medical settings (ex. doctor's office); ingesting drugs of any kind; lacking purpose
guilty pleasure: the scent of blood and fresh death. her enhanced senses have made her keenly aware of their specific smell and she's developed a craving for the sweet-smelling mixture of iron and all the hormones and pheromones the body releases in its final moments. 
biggest pet peeve: people touching her wings; things not going according to plan thanks to another's stupidity; high pitched noises (they really bother her over-sensitive ears)
ambitions for the future: ... not dying?
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴 ...⠀⠀thoughts 
first thought waking up: usually a continuation of whatever dream/ memory she was seeing in her sleep. once she's fully conscious though, it's typically about how tired she still is. 
what you think about the most: how to accommodate others. whether it be changing the way she acts to please those around her or appearing as small and insignificant as possible to disappear into the background for others' benefit. she's always thinking steps ahead to predict others' actions so she can be prepared to shift for them. only when she's completely alone do these thoughts not dominate her mind.
what you think about before bed: typically runs through tomorrow's tasks if she knows what they are. if not, she thinks about the day and all that was or was not accomplished. particular sounds or sights might play in her head repeatedly until she finally falls asleep.
best quality: her adaptability. she can keep a level and cool head in the most stressful of situations no matter how bad things have gone awry. quick thinking and experience in such situations almost guarantees she'll have a new plan to fit the new situation in a matter of moments. 
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝚁 ...⠀⠀what's better 
single vs group dates: single dates. she doesn't go on many at all, but in theory, she prefers fewer people, as many would likely overwhelm her. it allows her to not only focus on the person she is with, but also have a better awareness of the environment. 
beauty OR brains: she admires beauty more frequently than she admires brains, but if it were to come down to choosing a partner based on either quality, she'd likely choose brains.
dogs OR cats: cats, which is odd given how skittish they can make her feel. but she enjoys watching them, and a dog can be a bit too much for her. regardless, she doesn't plan on having either as a pet any time soon.
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴 ...⠀⠀do you 
lie: frequently. though she's not exactly good at it. while an expert at hiding the truth, she finds that she has a very hard time pretending it's something it's not. not for lack of trying though. 
believe in yourself: no.
believe in love: for others, yes. for herself, no. 
want someone: she craves intimacy, validation, and love, but doesn't feel she deserves it and rarely receives it. so she tells herself that she never wanted it.
𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙸𝚇 ...⠀⠀ever been 
on stage: no.
done drugs: willingly, no.
changed who you were to fit in: she changed who she was for survival rather than fitting in.
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽 ...⠀⠀favorites
color: deep forest green; dandelion yellow
animal: ... birds. it's a love / hate relationship.
movie: she doesn't watch movies often enough to have a favorite. but she loves non-fiction documentaries. they inform her of a lot of information she otherwise missed in her nonexistent education. 
game flower: a combination of wild prairie roses and forget-me-nots. these grew together near her childhood home.
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 ...⠀⠀age
day your next birthday with be: sunday, november 12, 2023
how old you will be: twenty-five
age you lost your virginity: 21
does age matter: she'll likely never date anyone much younger than her. and as far as those much older than her, she's grown to see them as figures of authority. it wouldn't be a healthy relationship if it were to happen. 
𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙴 ...⠀⠀in a person
best personality: someone who will be gentle with her, willing to look past all the flaws and imperfections. understanding, and kind. she also needs someone willing to be in control and independent, as she can't offer much in that department. 
best eye color: amber; dark brown
best hair color: dark brown; black; she enjoys a good fun color too
best thing to do with a partner: exist in each other's space. small, personal things. to love and feel loved.
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𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙴𝙽 ...⠀⠀finish the sentence
’ i love: — to fly. ’
’ i feel: — alone. ’
’ i hide: — my past. ’
’ i miss: — simplicity. ’
’ i wish: — i had a choice. ’
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TAGGED BY: @arkhampsych ( thanks !! )
TAGGING: you :D
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ladykissingfish · 2 years
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*Sasori, stitching up a minor wound on Kakuzu’s back*
Sasori: Are you leaving for your mission soon?
Kakuzu: Yes. Thank you for helping me with this; it’s rather difficult for me to see behind myself to attend to the stitching properly.
Sasori: It’s no problem. Try and be careful with your movements for the first hour, so the stitches don’t rip.
Kakuzu: I will, thank you. Do you have a mission today as well?
Sasori: No; Deidara and I have the day off so I thought I’d take him on a picnic by the lake. Konan’s going to help me prepare food for it.
Kakuzu: That’s … a sweet thing, I suppose. But may I ask you a serious question?
Sasori: I think I know what it is, but go ahead.
Kakuzu: What is it you find so appealing about Deidara? From my point of view, he’s simply a loud, overly-energetic, terribly annoying brat, same as my own partner, Hidan.
Sasori: Well, it’s hard to explain, Kakuzu-san. You’re right, Deidara is indeed all of those things.
Sasori: But … he’s more. He’s so much more. What you see, what the others see, isn’t what I see. Deidara’s allowed me so see past all of the bad, and get to know him. I mean, REALLY get to know him. His hopes, his dreams, his fears and his ambitions.
Sasori: And another thing … you know before I met him, I never understood the concept of love. I remember loving my mother and father but those feelings felt as though they belonged to another life. I couldn’t understand what it meant to want to hold someone, to hug, to kiss, to experience warmth and sharing and intimacy. But with him, well, he awakened all of these desires in me.
Sasori: I love him. I love him more than anything on this earth. I can’t die but if it ever came to it, I would gladly lay down my life for him. And I honestly can’t picture eternity without him by my side.
Kakuzu: I never suspected something like that to come out of YOUR mouth, Sasori-san.
Sasori: A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t have either. But love changes things. And who knows; perhaps you may still experience the same sort of thing, with your own partner —?
Kakuzu: I —
*in the background*
Hidan, shouting: Oi! Old bastard! Get your decrepit old ass the fuck out here and let’s get going on this damn mission already! 
Kakuzu, to Sasori: If I ever fall in love with him, please take a kunai and stab me directly in each and every one of my hearts, and —
Hidan: COME ON GRANDPA!!
Kakuzu, to Sasori:  — and then dump me off the edge of a cliff.
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1kook · 4 years
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skirt chasers — drabble iv
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THIS IS A SKIRT CHASERS DRABBLE - FIND THE OTHERS HERE ! SUMMARY Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. WARNINGS JK POV!!!, attempted solo masturbation, k*ssing, jk’s extensive knowledge of pornos, grinding, cunnilingus, face sitting, spit kink, light choking, praise kink, self nipple play, a love for boobies, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, i love u kink, its kinda hinted tht oc has a somnophilia kink? not rlly but tagging just in case -_- RATING m (18+) WC 6.3k this can't even classified as a drabble anymore wtf 
NOTES i have had this in my drafts since may 3. it is december 21. everyone point n laugh. anyway i very much love stimbo sc jk and i think he’s very cool so here’s a whopping 6k of the inner mechanisms of his big nerdy, college hottie brain <3
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He doesn’t notice you’ve drifted off until he’s three solid paragraphs into his semester-long research paper. “Babe, can you toss me my charger it’s over…” 
 Jungkook swears he’s gonna take every single one of those stupid skirts and burn them to ashes. They had done their duty well, had given him the girlfriend of his dreams, but now they were just pushing their luck. What was once the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend, has now become the bane of Jungkook’s existence. He loathed them, he hated them, he could go twenty million decades without ever seeing them again because the torture they inflicted upon him was borderline inhumane. 
 Holy fuck, he knew you were gorgeous— hello, he was your boyfriend, thinking you were gorgeous was very high on the list of requirements you searched for in someone of his position —but he’s absolutely positive that you’re probably the sexiest woman he’s ever seen in all his twenty-two years. And Jungkook’s seen a lot of porn. Like, a lot. 
He can’t help himself. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s rolling his desk chair over to where you’re sprawled across his bed, skin so soft where it presses against his pillow, lips so plush, and he’s pretty sure there’s a tiny, tiny droplet of drool begging to escape from between your puckered lips. Normally, he’d tease you to hell and back for this, knows how flustered you become when he catches you off guard, but today he lets it slide in favor of focusing on something else about your dozing form. 
It’s the soft curve of your hips from where you lay on your side, smooth legs tucked close to you, and that goddamn pleated skirt giving you absolutely no protection from the eyes of the world around you. Luckily, he made sure to lock the door to his room when you came over today. And he’s almost positive Taehyung isn’t home anyway. So there’s no potential roommate to see you here, cuddled against Jungkook’s teddy bear, blue lace panties tucked between your folds. 
They were his favorite. 
Adorable and soft, and he knows that particular style— the cheeky kind —is your preferred style, because it’s the one he sees almost every time the two of you fuck. Seamless, because you hate when they tug against your skin, and baby blue simply because it was your favorite color. He can’t recall the last time they had been so exposed like this. 
God, how many times had this same situation occurred? You dropping by to encourage him to do his homework, before eventually falling asleep and leaving him to his own devices. A lot of times, Jungkook guesses, because each and every time you wake up and nab one of his protein bars from the stash by his bed. Jungkook’s gone through four boxes in the last month. 
But how many times had this happened with you in a skirt? Never. This was a rarity. 
As the year progressed and yours and Jungkook’s relationship reached new levels of intimacy and adoration, Jungkook is sad to say the skirts had begun appearing less and less. It was winter and, unlike the furnace that was Jungkook’s body, he’s pretty sure you were a cold-blooded reptilian at this point, always leeching off of him for warmth. So since you couldn’t stand the cold, the skirts slowly faded into the background, replaced by Jungkook’s second favorite: the leggings. 
He was no complainer, Jungkook respected your decisions! He wasn’t going to pressure you into wearing those cute tiny skirts he loved so much just because it fueled some PornHub-esque fantasy in his brain, especially not as a harsh winter descended upon you and the days became colder. He would not risk a sick girlfriend in the name of a horndog daydream. 
But holy mother of pearl, Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. 
Sure he’d seen them every time you guys fucked— duh. But this was not the same. It was different, seeing the tender skin of your inner thigh when he knew you weren’t trying to, your skirt stuck between you and the bed as you shifted about. It was different, knowing he could so easily have you, just flip up the skirt and tug your underwear to the side, not having to worry about fighting your leggings or skinny jeans down your legs. It was different and it was good, so painstakingly good, to have you in the skirt, but the worst part was Jungkook couldn’t even do anything because you were fucking sleeping. 
He’d subconsciously pictured you like this for weeks, sprawled out on his sheets in the flimsiest clothing and ready for him to just slide right in, but Jungkook was a good boy—you’d told him as much just last week when he’d paid the bus fare for that ragtag group of teenagers, smiling up at him like he was your entire world. Was he sometimes a little too mean, a little too wild? Yes. But at his core, Jungkook lived for your praise. He couldn’t just stomp on that title you’d so lovingly bestowed upon him, a title he’d worked hard for since! 
Furthermore, even if Jungkook wasn’t a good boy, to touch you in your sleep just seemed wrong. You’d mentioned in passing once that you wouldn’t mind as long as it was him (“I’m yours,” you had purred at some party, hand crawling down his abdomen, “your doll, remember?”), but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to when you were so vulnerable and just… not there. It wouldn’t feel right to use your body when you weren’t awake, and no amount of encouragement from you would change his mind. 
So he does what all good boys do and prepares himself for a quick, self-administered handfuck. 
Sue him, his girlfriend was hot!
It’d been a little over two weeks since the last time the two of you had fucked, and it was mostly his fault; clinicals and research papers had practically consumed what little free time he had in his schedule. And if Jungkook remembers correctly, he wouldn’t be that lucky this upcoming week either. Something tells him your period was approaching. 
Jungkook doesn’t know what type of sorcery you’ve done to him, but in the time you’ve been dating, it’s become increasingly more and more difficult to nut without you. Whether that be fucking you, listening to your voice, or just imagining your pretty face in his head, you held a monopoly over Jungkook’s libido, one that he feared you’d never let go. 
He had years stacked on years of browsing PornHub and Brazzers, can recall experiencing some of the craziest orgasms of his life while watching some girl get fucked. All things come to an end. Ever since he started dating you, not even his favorite video could make him hard anymore. Oh, how the great have fallen. 
But with your blue panties before him, his cock hardens by the minute, nearly doubles in size when you move about and sigh a heavenly sound. Frankly, he doesn’t feel bad jerking one off to the thought of you. You were his girlfriend! He knows that you know that you’re the main character of all his right-handed adventures, and you’re not going to be mad at him for jerking off to you now. In fact, Jungkook imagines you’d be mad if he’d woken you up just for some frenzied quickie. This way, he’s blowing off some steam and you’re getting an extra ten minutes of napping. Everyone wins. 
He’s barely tugged himself out of the confines of his sweats when a soft mumble of his name has his soul leaving his body. “Kook?” 
“Baby,” he exhales, immediately tucking himself back into his underwear before moving closer towards you. You roll onto your back, skirt useless as fuck, he thinks, as it sprawls around your waist. “What’s up?” he murmurs, voice gentle, a hand carding through the nape of your neck because that’s how you always wake him up. Jungkook would be a liar to say it wasn’t one of the best feelings in the world. 
You say something, but it’s a mess of gibberish and too quiet for him to understand, before turning on your side again and shuffling closer to him. Jungkook smiles, runs the tips of his fingers over your cheek, before moving to caress your back, massaging some feeling back into your muscles. Some more mumbled words, but this time he deciphers them as something along the lines of “c’mere.” 
He chuckles, ducking down to kiss your cheek. “Don’t wanna interrupt your nap, baby,” he hums. “Go back to sleep.” 
You whine in protest, suddenly catching his hand in yours. “Please,” you sigh, eyes fluttering open, but they’re unfocused as you gaze at him. Jungkook clenches his teeth. Technically he should be working on that twelve page research paper, and even just trying to jerk off right now would have been a huge setback. Crawling into bed with you, where you’re so sinfully laid out for him to take, would completely offset his plans until tomorrow. He had to be a responsible student here. 
“I really gotta finish my paper…” he says, trying to let you down as gently as possible, flashing you an apologetic gaze. He thinks he has it in the bag, and your extended silence almost has him rolling back to his desk, when you suddenly snap into action. 
“But what about your dick,” you murmur, and Jungkook chokes. 
“My what—?” he splutters, voice a little too high. 
You say nothing, craning your neck to release a series of cracks, soft huffs leaving your lips. Jungkook’s on edge the whole time, eyes following the movement of your neck, the hypnotizing expanse of skin that bares itself to him. “Saw your hand down your pants,” you say, eyes blinking open, and though they’re droopy with sleep, at least you can hold them open this time. 
Jungkook laughs nervously, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck in embarrassment. “You saw that?” A soft hum. He wants to die. “Ah, baby, don’t worry about it. Know you’re tired, so just nap,” he sighs, caressing the back of your head once again, and he thinks he’s finally convinced you so he lets his guard down. 
You moan softly, and he’s almost entirely sure it’s one of those waking up types of sounds, the ones you make when you’re stretching around the bed in the morning. “Want your cock.” 
Jungkook swears he’ll die, right here, right now. 
He groans, lowers his head to rest on the mattress. “Jesus, fuck, baby,” he huffs, has to count to ten to will the stirring of his slowly hardening cock away for the second time that day. “Don’t say stuff like that when you’re half asleep, please.”
You ignore him, the hand that had been wrapped around his wrist tugging him closer. You barely succeed, muscles still so weak, but Jungkook humors you and rolls his chair right beside your head, where he ducks down to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Noooo,” you whine when he draws away too quickly. 
A laugh blossoms in his chest, and Jungkook proceeds to rain down a series of kisses on your pretty face before he can stop himself. You melt under his touch, his affection, and Jungkook adores the way your body is so soft and pliant like this, back arching towards him after he places a hand on your waist. 
“Come here,” you urge, voice a quiet plea. So soft, so needy. 
Jungkook malfunctions for just a second before he’s clambering over you on the bed, manhandling your body until you're both on your sides, facing each other, with you pressed tightly to his chest. Even with your hands brushing up and down his back in the way that sends every nerve in Jungkook’s body tingling, and your leg thrown over his hip, some stupid part of him convinces himself you’re just cold, trying to warm up after walking around campus in that tiny little skirt all day. He cuddles you as best as he can. 
And even with his dick twitching in his pants and his caveman instincts yelling at him to thrust up into your inviting core, Jungkook remains as professional as someone in a relationship can be when in bed with their lover. He’s so stuck on his self-control that he almost doesn’t hear the snort you muffle against his neck. 
“What are you doing?” you laugh, reaching up to pinch his cheek. Jungkook blinks, eyes wide like a doe caught in headlights. “Are we gonna fuck or what?”
He chokes. He doesn’t even try to muffle his reaction like other times, because the way you’re looking at him and the heel you press against the back of his thigh preoccupies his thoughts instead. Your hands are still tracing along his back, melting him with your dainty touches. “Baby?” you question after he’s been silent too long, distracted by the way you use that hooked leg to tug your bodies closer. 
“You… you’re still asleep,” Jungkook says, though it’s definitely a question. 
You scoff, a smile curling around your features. “Mm, definitely not asleep,” you tease, and shift to push him onto his back, wiggling on top of him until those baby blue panties are pressed against his quickly hardening member. “Why? Wanted to touch me when I was asleep?” you continue, and Jungkook’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. 
“No!” he exclaims, hands clutching your hips in alarm. He can tell he surprises you, because your eyes go wide for a brief second. “Never…” he mumbles afterwards, looking away from your imploring gaze. “Only like you when you’re awake.” 
You sigh, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek that makes his heart flood with adoration for you. “You’re a good boy, Jungkook,” you say back, just as quietly. “A blueprint for the perfect man.” Another kiss, this time against the corner of his mouth that makes Jungkook’s hands twitch against your sides. 
A soft moan tears itself from his throat, fingers digging into your hips as you slowly roll them against him. The heat emanating from your core seeps past the thin barrier of his sweatpants, makes his cock twitch in his boxers. He knows how it feels inside of you, has your body memorized like the back of his hand. But it’s in moments like these that he finds himself aching for you, desperate to feel the fluttering walls of your pussy, the pitiful whimpers that fall from your kiss swollen lips. And, well. The skirt makes it all too easy.  
He places two hands on the backs of your thighs, runs them up until he’s pushing your skirt up over your waist. You pull away from his lips with a sneaky little smile, pointer finger stroking down the side of his face lazily. “Mm?” you tease, leaving a coy little peck against his mouth. “Now you wanna touch?” Jungkook rolls his eyes, snaps his teeth at your wandering finger when you draw it too close to his mouth. The giggle you let out is so damn precious, makes him want to put you in a glass case and never let anyone else touch you. Coincidentally, it also makes him want to rail you into the mattress until you cry. 
“I’ll fucking ruin you, doll,” he settles on murmuring, subtly pushing you down against him. A soft giggle. Jungkook knows it’s your favorite nickname, even if you won’t admit it. He's the only one allowed to call you it, something about his intentions being pure or whatever, he’s not really sure. Anyway, you’re still so cute and soft on top of him, blinking slowly and prettily, so he’s dragging it out a bit, hoping you’ll become more alert in a few more minutes. 
As sleepy as you may be, you never miss out on a chance to rile him up. “As if, doll,” you retort, his nickname for you rolling off your tongue seamlessly. It sounds heavenly, sparks this weird emotion in him that he never considered before. Him, a doll? No way. But there’s something about the sweet lilt of your voice, the starry-eyed gaze you level him with, that has him throwing all reservations aside. Put him on a shelf and call him Barbie, because he would be anything you wanted him to be. 
Anyway, Jungkook’s sappy thoughts last all of two seconds before he’s rolling you over, successfully trapping you beneath his body. “Oh, so scary,” you feign, hands fluttering to clutch at your chest. 
He glides his hands down your body, let’s them trail over your hip and down the side of your thigh. “Don’t get sassy with me,” he warns, thumb peeking beneath the hem of your skirt. Jungkook really wants to burn the piece of fabric this time, because after all that time it spent torturing him with its halfhearted attempts at covering you, it chooses now to do it properly. 
Hands are thrown around his shoulders, the overwhelming scent of your perfume and body wash tickling his nose when you pull him in for another kiss. “Or what?” you purr, irises swirling with lust. “Gonna use your manly man strength to hold me down?” 
He shushes you with a kiss, slow and languid just how you like. Your taste is familiar, feels like coming home, so Jungkook can’t be blamed for getting too carried away. It starts gentle— it always does. But then a tiny mewl gets stuck in your throat, the following moan swallowed by his tongue, and Jungkook nearly loses it. He nips at your bottom lip, waits patiently for you to open up for him, and when you do he wastes no time diving in. Your tongue against his is slick and wet, makes the most lewd sound. Your little sharp intakes of air fill the gaps, shuddery breaths that Jungkook takes as a good sign. 
He strikes while the iron is still hot. 
It’s amidst your lazy kissing that he secures his hands around your waist, two reassuring squeezes thrown your way before he’s abruptly rolling onto his back again. “Kook!” you squeal, clutching at the front of his shirt. A pouty frown paints your face, sleepy eyes narrowing him with a rather unimpressed look, tainted with the barest hints of confusion. 
Jungkook grins, reaching back to yank his pillow out from beneath his head. “On my face,” he commands suddenly, and you snort. 
“What?” you ask a little incredulously, leaning back to level him with an even more lost expression. “Since when do we do that?”
Jungkook shrugs. “Since I decided twenty seconds ago,” he answers rather bluntly. You still don’t look too convinced. It’s not a position the two of you have ever tried. You’re a little on the sappy side, always like to look at his face while you fuck, hold his cheeks in your palms, kiss him sweetly. On the one hand, Jungkook totally gets it; he’ll proudly admit that the sight of your orgasming face paired with your fantastic tits have done him many favors these past few months. 
However, Jungkook is a lover of head. Giving or receiving, it’s very high on his list of sexual acts and whoever invented oral deserved all the praise in the world. Not only did you look drop dead gorgeous with his cock in your mouth— tears trailing down your cheeks, drool clinging to the corners of your lips —but you also looked absolutely sexy receiving it. 
Kinda. 
Probably. 
Okay, so maybe Jungkook can’t really say, considering he always has a hard time catching a glimpse of your face when he’s down there licking and slurping your clit like a madman. Which is what leads him to this exact moment, an experiment weeks in the making. Jungkook has a theory that needs to be tested. “Please ride the fuck out of my face,” he tries, hoping the polite tone will win you over. 
He’s met with an eye roll. Still, you’re kinder than you let on. “Okay,” you give in, and Jungkook will remember your heroism for the rest of his life. “But only because being on top is empowering.” He just barely contains an over-enthusiastic fist pump into the air, settling on a rather modest smile that has you leaning down to kiss him again. You reach for the zipper on the side of your skirt. “Just let me—“
“The skirt stays on,” he says quickly, hand on your wrist to stop you from removing his most favorite article of clothing. 
“Baby,” you say, giving him a rather serious look. “It’ll cover your face.”
“It won’t,” he urges, reaching for the buttons on your blouse instead. Jungkook has had one too many encounters with tops like these, and has long since learned not to tear them apart like a crazed psycho. As much as he loves the sound of your buttons scattering across his bedroom floor, he can’t say he’s too fond of the scolding he inevitably gets afterwards. Anyway, the shirt comes off and so does your bra, leaving your tits in his face, tiny skirt on your hips. “Get up here,” he murmurs, ushering you up his body until your knees are pressing into the mattress right above his shoulders. 
If it was up to Jungkook, he would have just grabbed your hips and shoved his face against your pussy. Luckily, it’s not, and your common sense shines through just in time. “One sec,” you say, and then finally, finally, the blue panties come off. 
And then it’s just Jungkook and your glistening pussy. 
“Holy fuck,” he groans, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around your thighs. You squeak when he pulls you closer, hand instinctively reaching for the front of your skirt to hold away from his face. The view from here is heavenly, just your swollen clit, gorgeous tits, and shy face. 
The muscles in your thighs are a little stiff. Or maybe you’re just nervous. Jungkook isn’t sure, all he knows is that it takes one encouraging tug for you to finally sit on his face. He doesn’t even register the surprised gasp that leaves your throat because he’s too busy tasting your pussy from an all new position. And it’s absolutely amazing. 
Something about the position, having you carefully poised above him, does something to Jungkook. He likes to think he knows your body inside and out, knows what makes you melt and what makes you scream. He knows just how to lap at your cunt until you’re cumming, and how many fingers it takes for you to really feel it. But it’s like having you in this position changes all of that, rearranges all the tidbits of information Jungkook has spent months collecting. 
(Jungkook is a meticulous man; he’s got a near perfect GPA right now that was the direct result of his carefully crafted note-taking techniques. Whether or not he abused the power of his perfectionist learning abilities to master the mechanisms of his girlfriend’s libido was no one's business but his own.) 
One kitten lick against your swollen pearl makes you buck forward, clit brushing against his nose. Jungkook can’t remember you ever doing that on the first lick. “O- oh my—,” you cry, all airy and whiny. Your hand is pressed to the wall behind his bed, the other bunching the front of your skirt just above your mound. He’s rather happy to learn that, just as he’d hypothesized, this position does give him a better view of you. 
He’s graced with the sight of your face, twisted up in pleasure. It’s the stereotypical eyes squeezed shut, lip caught between your teeth look. But there’s something different about it knowing that he’s gotten this reaction out of you with his mouth alone. 
Jungkook quickly repositions you over him, tugging you back until his tongue is lined up with the front of your slit. You’re so warm down here, make him feel like he’s drowning with your heady scent alone. Tentatively, he lets his tongue dip between your folds, the very tip nudging your swollen clit. A moan tears itself from your throat, the hand that had been flush against the wall suddenly jumping forward to bury itself in his hair. “Oh- oh, fuck,” you shiver, hips jolting forward once more. 
You taste good on his tongue, the arousal that coats your lips is sticky and sweet. When he laps his tongue along your folds, quivering hole to stiffened bud, you let out a sob that resonates deeply within Jungkook. And also Jungkook’s cock, which stirs beneath his trousers in excitement. What was once the focus of his mission, a quick handfuck to sedate himself before finishing his research paper, has long since been forgotten. It’s for the greater good, he tells himself, blinking up at you from between your thighs. 
Eye contact lasts for exactly three seconds before you’re looking away bashfully, the fist clutching at your skirt trembling against your tummy. You’re so fucking pretty, Jungkook’s heart can’t take it. 
And so he sets out on a mission to make you cum as soon as possible, abandoning his slow kitten licks in favor of suctioning his lips around your clit. “Kook,” you wail, tugging at his hair. Whether you do it purposely or not, Jungkook is a little shocked by how good the pain feels. It’s not an emotion he can ponder long, because then you’re using that same grip in his hair to tilt his head backwards, jerkily moving over him. 
It’s rough and sudden, the buck against his face, but Jungkook loves it. The drag of your pussy against his lips, the wet glide of your juices smearing across his chin and Cupid’s bow. It all feels so good, and the fact Jungkook is getting a front row seat to the absolutely torn look on your face is just the cherry on top. 
Jungkook has seen you make a lot of faces. He’s seen you shiver and drool as he nails you into your bed. He’s seen you sniffle and sob as he slowly fucks you in a rose petal filled bubble bath (a six month anniversary special planned by yours truly). He’s even seen your mirrored reflection fall apart as you bounced away on his lap in front of a mirror. 
He’s never seen you like this before. 
Needy and desperate, moaning his name softly, practically humping his face in your greed. Tiny skirt clutched against your waist, tits bouncing as you hurriedly grind against him. He has half the mind to burn this scene into his eyelids for the rest of his life. 
He’s given up on doing anything with his tongue, simply sticking it out for you to do as you wish. Normally, he’s not a huge fan of letting you do things yourself. After all, Jungkook was your boyfriend. Making you cum was his job. But you’re moving so fast, so frantic, in your mission to cum. So Jungkook sits back and lets you go to town on his mouth as a series of moans spill from your lips. 
And then something unforgivable happens. 
Jungkook will admit it: he’s staring at you almost a little too dreamily, heart eyes and all. He thinks you’re fucking hot, taste like heaven and have these absolutely delicious boobs bouncing up and down. He’s a little distracted by your glorious figure that he doesn’t notice one crucial bit of information. 
Your hand. 
The desperate need to cum has your muscles weakening, thighs moving at a latent pace, and, much to Jungkook’s horror, hands trembling. It’s your own pleasure that lets the unimaginable happen: your skirt flutters down. Your grip on it loosens and before Jungkook knows it, the sight of your pretty face and nice tits are gone, snatched away before his very eyes. Even your wet cunt is impossible to see, his world suddenly shrouded in darkness. 
Leave it to Jungkook to foil his own horny plan with, well, his horniness. If only he wasn’t so hopelessly in love with the image of you in skirts. Maybe then he could bask in the beauty that was you riding his face. 
He acts fast, reaching for the material before he can miss out on anything. But the angle is weird, and without Jungkook’s hands holding your hips, you’re left weakly rolling forward instead. And he’s not the only one frustrated with this turn of events, your face quickly returning to its normal composed form as you level him with a frown. “Everything okay?” you pant. 
Everything was not okay, but Jungkook isn’t sure how to tell you that without ruining this delicate moment. So he tries to show you with actions instead, releasing the skirt he’s got in his fist and letting it flutter over his face again. You giggle. “I told you so.” 
It takes more willpower than he’d like to admit to pull away from your wet folds, pulling off with a lewd sound that has you biting your lip as you gaze down at him. “I told you so,” he mimics, a little mean but you don’t take it to heart. “Hold your skirt up.” 
You hum, the grip on his hair loosening as you push away his dark locks instead. “Mmmm,” you hum. “No.”
“No?” he repeats, actually really scandalized. Okay, so he’s a little spoiled when it comes to you— it’s not his fault! You made him like this, conditioned him to think that you would always give into his every whim because you were just so sweet and considerate and wanted him to be happy. And Jungkook also wants you to be happy, and in his opinion, being happy right now means having him fuck your pretty brains out for ever getting sassy with him. 
“I don’t listen to men,” you tease, followed by a cute little nod, skin still a little warm from your looming orgasm. Jungkook takes advantage of your tiny moment of weakness, and strikes like a viper.
A girlish squeal leaves your lips, hands stretching outwards as he knocks you backwards onto the mattress. “Jungkook,” you gasp, sprawled out artfully, beautifully, over his sheets now. He doesn’t waste a second longer, crawling over your body until you’re a shivering mess beneath him. 
Hand against your throat, the other blindly reaching for the front of his sweatpants. “What is it, doll?” he drawls meanly, reveling in the way your eyes roll back when his newly-freed cock lands against your slit. A choked gasp leaves your throat, lashes fluttering wildly until Jungkook loosens his grip. 
You’ve done a nice job riling yourself up, lips squelching wet and loose when he runs the tip of his cock along them. Your knees are pulled up for him, spread perfectly for him to fit between. You’re so good for him, Jungkook feels a little bad for how hard he’s going to fuck you now. 
The sympathy doesn’t last long.  
Once upon a time, you had been the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend. Had picked him up from class, encouraged him to do his homework, wore these cute little skirts around campus. Deep down inside, Jungkook knew everyone else was jealous of him— you were just so pretty and cute, a girl straight out of everyone’s dreams. 
Until he sunk his horny claws into you. Jungkook will be the first to admit he spends a little too much time browsing porn sites— he’s a man, cut him some slack —which had never caused him any problems before. Even when the two of you were just friends (pining ones at that), you had never seemed even remotely affected by his extensive pornographical knowledge. It was a known fact among your friend group that Jungkook’s best friend was his right hand. 
But then, of course, you started dating Jungkook and it was like a save file of all his horniest fantasies was downloaded directly into your brain. Which leads him to this. 
“Spit in my mouth,” you shiver, got these huge, watery eyes pointed his way. His cock twitches. 
There’s a little groan that tears itself from his throat when he leans forward, cock sliding along your folds, to grasp your chin between his fingers. “Open,” he commands, and you do. Your lower lip quivers, tongue pressed against it as you wait for Jungkook to spit down your mouth. He can’t say he regrets letting you peek through his porn stash, not when it leads to this, you whimpering at the hot glob of saliva he shoots down your throat. “Filthy,” he pants, memorizing the movement of your throat when you swallow like the good girl you are. 
Before he can write another twelve sonnets about that dazed look on your face, he’s roughly grabbing at your thigh. You whine, limbs so pliant beneath his touch, letting him hike your knee over his forearm as he tugs you closer. “Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to align himself with your quivering hole. You’re still so wet, make the most lewd sound when he sinks into you. Not that Jungkook really hears it, the sound of your strained moans practically drowning everything else out. 
“Fuck,” you cry, one hand clutching at his forearm, the other toying with your breast. It’s a magnificent sight, and Jungkook is suddenly feeling a little cocky when he realizes he’s the only one who gets to see this. It’s this presumptuous nature that fuels the first round of thrusts into your cunt, fast and full. He makes sure you feel every inch of him, tip to base, as he pistons his hips forward. “J— Jungkook,” you pant, back arching beneath him. 
You take it so well, walls sucking him in every time he draws back out. “I’ve got you, doll,” he moans, hiking your leg further over his shoulder. Every roll of his hips has your tits bouncing back and forth, lower lip as well with the dopey, open-mouthed look you got on for him. And the damned skirt that got him here, fucking you with a punishing pace, sits perfectly around your waist. He has half the mind to take it off for you, briefly wonders if it hurts, but just looking at it reminds him of about thirty-seven pornos he’s seen. So it stays on, works alongside your lovestruck face to actively rewrite all those pornos anew with you starring in them instead. 
It sure helps when you start your usual mindless babbling. “I love you,” you gasp, face screwed up in pleasure. “I- I love you so much.” 
He’s contemplating doing a study on you and your weird mid-fuck confessions. You do this a lot, and while Jungkook doesn’t mind, it sure does leave him curious. “Love you too, baby,” he says anyway, repositioning his arms so he can hold your waist with both hands. 
“Really?” you ask, voice so whiny, eyes brimming with tears. From emotion or your need to cum, Jungkooks not sure. (Hence the need for a study!) 
Another brutal thrust that has you moaning loudly. “Really,” he reassures you, glancing down to watch his cock sink into your hole as he picks up the pace. Your arms are practically limbless, and his stomach is beginning to feel tight. The end was soon. “Love your pretty little face.”
Another whine, your fingers pulling at your pebbled nipples. “M- My pretty face?” you whimper, blink these long lashes up at him. They make Jungkook go a little mad, bring on a wave of jackhammer thrusts that cut your moans into choppy little cries instead. 
“Prettiest girl I know,” he groans, not once stopping the movement of his hips. You’re quivering like a leaf beneath him, your entire body locking up as Jungkook guides you toward orgasm. “A fucking doll, baby— so beautiful for me,” he praises. 
It’s exactly what you want to hear— secretly, Jungkook hypothesizes that you’re a little bit of an attention whore —crying out when he slows to a grind against you. Each roll of his hips has him rubbing over your swollen bud, leaves you trembling until you’re eventually unraveling beneath him. “Oh- Oh, fuck— Jungkook—“ you sob, writhing beneath him as you cream his cock. 
Your tits look amazing, nipples stiff from your arousal and all the attention you’d been giving them. Your features soften, gasps framed by your pillowy lips. As Jungkook has said before, your pretty face was the most dangerous weapon. 
He manages a few more pistons of his hips, mostly for reputation sake, before he’s eventually pulling out. His right hand, once the sole hero of his solo sessions, makes a valiant return now as he jacks himself off over you. It takes a few harsh pulls of his cock until he’s spurting his jizz over you, painting your tummy and your tits in white ribbons of cum. You flinch, a tiny whimper leaving your throat at the mess he makes. “Fuck,” he groans one last time. 
When it’s over, you have the audacity to shyly pull down the front of your skirt. As if your tits aren’t out and about, but Jungkook pretends he doesn’t see it. Instead, he channels his energy into peppering your face in kisses. “Best girl,” he praises, even though he knows you hate the nickname. “My beautiful feminist queen.” 
A pinch against his cheek. It hurts like hell, but he endures it for now, still very much in love with your performance today. “Get me a towel,” you huffily ask, uncomfortable with the jizz sticking to your tummy, as if he didn’t spit in your mouth a few minutes ago. 
His research paper is waiting for him at his desk, the materials he’d spent weeks collecting waiting to be typed up. But his girlfriend is so soft and sleepy, asking him to stay for another nap. 
There was never a choice.
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universitypenguin · 3 years
Text
Bucky Barnes is a Traditional Man
- Bucky Barnes is a traditional man in the sense that his woman comes first.
- You have more doors held open for you than you could have imagined before you began dating Bucky.
- Door to buildings, your car door (always!), he even moves one step ahead of you when you walk down the stairs in heels so he could break your fall, just in case.
- James Buchanan Barnes is quite protective of his girlfriend.
- He’s in love with you and it finally allows some of the deeper wounds from Hydra, from the war, and losing Steve to heal.
- His heart was cold and aching before he met you. Now it’s warm and soft.
- Your perspective on the world is something that attracted him to you in the first place. You’re an optimist in a jaded world and vibrant with life in a way he’s not sure he’s even capable of.
- But somehow, being with you helps bridge the gap. He can look in the mirror and not see the Winter Soldier looking back at him. Instead he sees the man from the 1940s who loved to dance and who hoped to win a boxing title.
- You gave him that man back with your care and affection, even before the two of you fell in love. And he feels such a gratitude for that his heart throbs and his eyes glass over when he thinks about it for too long.
- Bucky is a man in love and you’re happier with him than you ever thought was possible to be. Things are so good between you two; easy, light, and sweet.
- Then one night at dinner Bucky forgets his phone. He asks to borrow your to check the score of a baseball game.
- And he accidentally finds an open porn tab. Curious, he turns the screen so no one else can see and watches. His stomach twists. The appetizer from earlier suddenly isn’t sitting so well.
- Choking.
- You watch porn with men choking their women.
- He’s not judging. He’s really not. But he’d been hoping for something he could replicate for you, and this? He can’t. Not in a million years.
- He’s afraid of hurting you.
- He doesn’t say it out loud because it feels like speaking one of his worst fears into existence. He doesn’t want even the words to pass his lips and take root in your imagination.
- You can’t see him like that. Like a monster. Too many others have and there’s enough truth behind the title for him to sleep well at night, despite all his progress. But most of the time, he sleeps well. It’s because of you and he knows it. Your comforting presence allows him to relax.
- He sleeps in bed with you nowadays. He likes how firm your mattress is.
- He struggles through dinner, the video playing through the back of his mind. When you ask him what the score of the game was he can’t figure out what you’re talking about. It’s an awkward moment.
- The thing here, is that Bucky Barnes is a traditional man. His woman comes first. So he’s going to do whatever it takes to please you and he knows it.
- You always come first. Both in the bedroom and out of it. That’s one of his rules. So he’s already forming ideas about how he’s going to accommodate your kink.
- Two weeks later is your anniversary. He gets flowers, takes you to a nice restaurant and when you get home, brings up the thing.
- “I found your porn open when I borrowed your phone. I’m guessing that you like choking, doll?”
- Your cheeks turn bright red. And you stammer.
- “Hey. Don’t be embarrassed. I want to know this stuff. I need to. How can I please you if we don’t talk about it?”
- “Bucky, you don’t have to... I would never ask you...”
- He smiles. He loves that you’re protective of him in your own way. Knowing this has done a lot for his mental well-being. It makes the relationship between you two solid and strong.
- “I want to give you everything you want in bed,” Bucky says.
- “But you already do!”
- That’s true. Too many of your ex-boyfriends were quick and rough without taking the time for foreplay.
- Bucky is an expert at foreplay. He’s able to build the tension until you fall apart for him is an addiction that he feeds as often as he can. Knowing he provides for your needs like no other man before him is a point of pride for him. (Private pride, that is. Even Sam doesn’t know anything about his sex life. Some parts of 1940’s discretion is very much ingrained in him. It’s not shame. He just likes keeping intimacy... intimate.)
- Bucky is slow and sensual in bed, warm and passionate. With him sex really does feel like making love. It was on your first night together that you’d fallen for him and his patient, gentle way of touching you.
- Orgasming had been so easy when you felt worshiped and safe. And it remained that way with him. Later, these feelings heightened your desire for rough sex with your boyfriend. Because sex with Bucky was a place of security for you. He was utterly harmless towards you and in that context, rough sex would be amazing.
- But things between you two are pretty much vanilla.
- He’s always soft with you. Things can be heightened and swirling with passion, but he’s never show even a flash of aggression or force.
- The super soldier serum means he has stamina for days. He can accomplish and position you want to try, even if it involves lifting you for long periods of time. And there’s no question if he’s going to last. Also, his recovery time is so short “round two” sometimes blurs in with round one.
- But he’s careful about using his strength against you, even more so during intimate situations.
- You’re not “breakable” and he knows that. But you’re precious to him and leaving a mark that isn’t from pure passion would wreck his mental health. Permanently. He’d never forgive himself.
- You know this too, which is why you never asked him to choke you.
- “Baby doll. I want to give you your fantasy. Will you let me? Do you want that from me?”
- You do. You really, really want to be choked by him. So you quietly respond, “Yes.”
- Before he starts, you two sit on the couch and he holds you while you tell him about your fantasies. He takes off your heels while you tell him all your darkest desires. And he gives the sore arches of your feet a massage, listening intently.
- One comforting thing for Bucky is that having been a soldier, he knows how to choke someone. He’ll be able to tell if it’s too much for you. He knows how long before it would damage you. There’s some confidence forming that this will be safe and he won’t hurt you.
- It’s nice that for once his violent past is proving helpful in your relationship. He thought agreeing to choke you might rattle him a little, stirring up old emotions, but it’s soothing. He’s enjoying using what he knows to make this experience good for you.
- He lets things get rough when you go to bed. He doesn’t hold back the passion tonight. Instead, he focuses on eating you to orgasm and holding you on the edge until you pull his hair.
- “Bucky! Please!”
- Then he slides two fingers inside of you and draws fast little circles on your g-spot until you break.
- He lets up on your clit but as the orgasm fades, slides in a third finger and pounds the spot until your pussy creams on his hand and your groans are low and raw, filled with ecstasy.
- “That’s it, doll. Just like that. So pretty when you cum for me. Keep going, baby girl. I’m right here.”
- His metal arm wraps around your waist when you arch your back, holding you so he can keep toying with the spot as your hips begin to jerk away.
- When he’s finally done with your g-spot his hand is drenched. So is the sheet and your inner thighs.
- And you’re gasping for breath from the intense orgasm. When it comes on this hard you can’t really tell if it’s one long orgasm or three separate ones that came almost back to back.
- Bucky takes you in his arms, cooing sweet nothings into your ear.
- It helps you calm down when he talks in a soft soothing voice. The man should narrate meditations.
- His voice is silky and smooth for you, yet rough with repressed need. You can hear the need and it feeds your desire.
- “Please, Bucky. I need to feel you inside of me.”
- You find yourself underneath him, with your legs pushed apart and his body selling between them.
- You love feeling the weight of him on top of you.
- Then, he gently opens the petals of your sex and guides himself inside of you.
- There’s a stretch and burn as he enters you, just like there always is. Your body never quite adjusts to his girth. Each time you have to relax for him.
- He knows it’s a challenge to take him at first. He’s always careful and there’s a tube of lubricant in the side table. It’s not always needed but he’s always prepared.
- His hips begin to roll, and he sets a steady pace that pushes the tip of his cock against your spot with each thrust. At first his thrusts are shallow but as you begin to relax around him he goes deeper. His body moves forward to cover you and he starts fucking you hard.
- Each snap of his hips has you keening. Your body is so sensitive from your earlier orgasms. He keeps up the pace steady and constant until you’re begging. Then he reaches out with his metal hand and covers your throat. At this point, your channel clenches around him, almost in orgasm.
- “You wanted my metal hand baby, didn’t you?”
- Yeah. You had. The idea had fueled your fantasies night after night.
- The cool press of metal into your throat makes you moan and tremble.
- Bucky feels the shiver and worry flashes through his eyes. “This okay, doll?”
- “Yes, harder, please!”
- He can feel your body responding and it encourages him to press down, finally choking you the way you’d dreamed of.
- You orgasm almost instantly as he chokes you through your climax.
- Bucky lets go when your fluttering muscles start to ease. Suddenly he’s driving into you hard. He drops his hand from your neck, needing both to balance his weight as he seeks his own pleasure.
- The wild, rough movement is harder than the two of you have ever gone before.
- Because he’s always been afraid of hurting you with his enhanced strength until he was too far gone to think.
- When his orgasm hits, his sight goes white and he jerks against you, pumping his seed into you. Then he collapses.
- You hold him tight, savoring the press of his body and the feeling of his release inside of you.
- “You okay, doll? I wasn’t too rough?”
- “It was perfect.”
- Your hand strokes through his hair as you lay together in the same position for several minutes. Heartbeats pounding, your minds still struggling to return to equilibrium.
- Bucky recovers first. Damn that super soldier serum. It’s not fair that you’re still limp and dazed.
- He slips out of you and rolls over, bringing you with him. Your head finds its cradle in his shoulder and your eyes drift shut.
- Recovery isn’t going to happen for you tonight. You’re just going straight to sleep. You’ve earned it.
- Bucky shifts you onto your side. He gets up and you hear water running in the bathroom before a cool cloth touches between your legs, cleaning you.
- You murmur a thanks, half asleep.
- He comes back to cuddle you into his arms, adjusting the pillows around you before he lays down.
- When you throw a leg over his hip, he draws you closer so that you’re lying almost on top of him.
- “You make such a good pillow of someone with so many hard muscles.”
- Bucky chuckles and kisses the top of your head.
- “I’m glad. Go to sleep, doll. I love you.”
- “I love you too, James.”
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uelden · 3 years
Text
Vanity Fair interview translated
Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.
I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.
Translation under the cut
Måneskin: "Different from whom?"
by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021
"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything
With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.
In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.
It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.
To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon
"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas
"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano
From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight
"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria
The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre
"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano
Against panic – The stage as therapy
"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria
Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you
"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano
Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]
"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano
The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it
"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan
Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom
"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria
Sexism – A culture to be dismantled
"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano
Grow yourself – The only commandment
"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan
"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria
Love in progress – Music, girlfriends
"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan
"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas
"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria
"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano
The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection
"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas
I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]
"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano
Having touched the sky – The fears that remain
"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano
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ange1s · 3 years
Text
cherry emoji - mark lee
synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.
wc: 3.6k
genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy
tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing
playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major
a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')
my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3
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“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.
“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.
mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”
you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.
“wait, what?”
mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.
you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”
mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”
you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.
“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“
“no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“
you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”
“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.
“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”
he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”
“not the point, minhyung!”
he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”
“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”
“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”
you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”
“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”
“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”
“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.
“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”
“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.
he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”
mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.
“mark…”
“they were making fun of me.”
“who?”
“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”
you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”
you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.
has it always been just him?
“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”
you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”
the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.
“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”
this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.
“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”
mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.
he's starting to, though.
it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.
“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”
“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”
“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”
holy shit.
“mark…”
“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”
your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.
mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.
you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.
what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.
now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”
he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.
you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”
you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.
“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.
“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.
“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”
you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”
he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”
you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”
“yeah, pillow fights i won.”
“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”
mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”
“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.
you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.
when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.
“y/n, what-“
you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”
mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“
“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”
he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“
“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”
he swallows hard. “right.”
“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.
“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“
“yes, you can.”
he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.
mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.
“dang. they’re so cute.”
you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”
“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”
you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.
right now, you are the opposite of upset.
“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”
you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.
“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.
“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”
mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”
“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.
he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”
“yes, you can.”
mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.
he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.
you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.
mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.
but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”
you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.
“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.
mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”
“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”
mark looks up at you. “baby?”
“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”
“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”
“makes sense?”
he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”
mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.
his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”
you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”
mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”
you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”
“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”
you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.
you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.
“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”
you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”
mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”
you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”
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A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’
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“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!
If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,
“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”
This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.
The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.
1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”
2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”
3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”
4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”
5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”
6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”
7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”
8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”
9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”
10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”
11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”
12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”
13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”
14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”
15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”
16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”
17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”
In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.
DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.  
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goldencherryhazz · 3 years
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Better than sex
A/n: it’s currently nearly midnight and I have been working on this for the past three hours, so I don’t even know if it makes sense but I will check in the morning lol! Notes would be much appreciated, pls don’t copy my work!
Warnings: smut, daddy kink, choking, oral fem!recieving, fluff
Agreeing to go on tour with Harry was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made, travelling to every corner of the world and watching your boyfriend perform in front of thousands of people in the most extravagant outfits every night was honestly a dream, but now after four months being on the road with him you we’re finally going home for a break.
‘Wake up darling’ Harry said stroking your cheek, it was only 7’o’clock in the evening in the uk, but jet lag was getting the better of you so Harry being more accommodated to flying here there an everywhere gladly drove you two home from the airport whilst you napped.
You give him a lazy smile stretching your arms in the air ‘we’re home H’ you say excitedly looking at the front of your home, you honestly thought you forgot what it looked like after not seeing it for 4 months.
‘Yes we are my love’ admiring his girl and how cute she looked rubbing her sleepy eyes with her whole palm like a child.
He opens his door and climbs out of the car, quickly making his way to your side to open the door for you like the gentleman he is, ‘m’lady’ he gestures for to to get out the car ‘well thankyou kind sir’ you giggle at him, pecking his cheek on your way to the back of the car.
You two make a quick job of getting all your luggage into the house, only dumping them in the porch already agreeing to deal with it in the morning.
You walk into the kitchen to be greeted by Daisy, your two’s cat who Anne had kindly looked after whilst you and Harry were touring, you felt bad for leaving her for so long but Anne had insisted seeing as Daisy got along with her cats aswell, so she basically had a massive sleepover, ‘hey dais how are you, missed you soo much’ you coo towards her she let you stroke her for a maximum of two seconds before she spots Harry in the doorway and bounds over to him. You chuckle, Daisy had always had a soft spot for Harry and you couldn’t really blame her ‘not giving mama cuddles huh, missed your daddy too much’ he said with the cat laid in his arms, her paws up as if she was in surrender. Eventually she scrambled out of his arms going to her bed in the living room you presumed.
‘Wanna go and watch a film in bed baby, you can choose whatever you want promise I won’t make you watch The Notebook again’
‘Yeah sounds perfect’ she smiles walking to grab his outstretched hand which didn’t have any rings on which was a strange sight after being so used to seeing him with them on.
The two of you trudge up the stairs, and when you finally make it to the top you run into the bedroom that you and Harry shared, and jumped onto your California king bed, making Harry laugh at your antics. You had truly missed this bed after being in a different hotel at least once every two days over the last four months, there was just something about the duvet and the memory foam mattress topper that you couldn’t get enough of, the sheets were also extra soft and smelled like fresh flowers, you laid flat on your back with tight arms and legs splayed out like a starfish, as you practically sunk into the mattress ‘this is better than sex’ you say jokingly but sounding quite serious due to how comfortable you were at that moment.
This made Harry spin round to face you with his eyebrows raised a smirk on his lips, he made his way to the bed, you had your eyes closed so when you felt his breath again the side of your neck it made you jump and had a shiver running out your spine ‘are you sure about that sweet girl’
You open you eyes in shock, not knowing what you said would get him riled up that quickly, or bruise his over so increasing ego, but you knew if you kept playing along he would give it to you really good just so that he could prove you wrong, and you were all for it.
‘Are you saying that this bed is better than my cock...my fingers...and my mouth?’ Kissing you on the sweet spot on your neck between his words.
‘Hmm, I don’t know you’ll have to show me can’t remember.’
‘Oh baby you don’t know what you’ve gotten your self into, I’m gonna make you remember it for days’ making a moan escape your lips, he pounced on top of you pinning you arms above your head kissing you on you lips multiple times before dragging them down your
Harry knew you were probably joking but he loved having his way with you and for the last 4 months being on tour the only sort of intimacy you two had was quick fucks in dressing and hotel rooms with being so busy all the time and at night Harry was understandably tired after doing a show. He wanted to dominate the shit out of you tonight and you had just added fuel to the fire, so with no fear of someone walking in on you both he was going to let loose.
He pulls back and releases your arms, ‘strip for my baby, then I want you to sit at the top of the bed with your back against the headboard’ you moaned softly at his words, already putty in his hands and instantly start undressing as he did the same.
Once you were naked, and sat against the headboard you couldn’t help but stare at your boyfriend pulling his t-shirt over his head making his arms flex, your pussy become slick with your wetness as you watched him. Once he freed his cock from the confines of his boxers, he gives his shaft a few tugs trying to relieve some of the building pressure.
‘Jesus, can smell you from here’ he moans crawling up the bed, you legs spreading even more on instinct to give him more room. He lays on his belly once he is closer to you wrapping his arms around your thighs swiftly dragging you so that his face was barely centre metres away from your sopping cunt, you drape you legs over his shoulder heels digging into his back.
‘M’gonna use my mouth and my fingers and I’m gonna make you cum so hard that you squirt everywhere sweet girl’ you squirm in his grip his eyes looking directly into yours. He gives you no warning as he ducks down pressing a kiss directly on your clit, then licking a bold stripe up your entire pussy ‘always to wet for me, you taste just like a strawberry angel.’ You throw your head back, you hands gripping onto the sheets to prepare yourself for what was to come.
He focuses back on your clit flicking his tongue from side to side, he teases a his middle finger round your entrance making you buck your hips ‘patience sweet girl’ he says removing his lips from your clit to suck a hickey onto the inside of your thigh.
‘Feels so so good daddy’ the first words you had spoken except moan after moan since Harry started, your fingers pinching your nipples, he smirks up at the pet name, his cock twitching against the sheets.
He decides to give you his fingers, inserting two at the same time, you whine at how easily they slid into you. He gives no time to adjust curling them into a ‘cone hither’ motion then pumping them in and out going knuckle deep every time hitting spots that you would never have been able to fine with your own, a calloused finger rubbing tight circles around you clit. ‘How good is daddy making you feel, tell me’
‘So f-fucking good, your fingers feel amazing inside me daddy’ you can’t stop your eyes from rolling into the back of your head as his mouth finds it’s place back on your clit, adding a third finger into you cunt, still thrusting at a delicious pace, You could feel the knot tightening in your belly, but not only that you felt like a balloon was ready to burst within you.
You tangle your fingers in his hair, knowing that he loved it when you tugged on his curls, but you also did it so that he wouldn’t pull away and deny you of an orgasm when you were almost falling off the edge.
‘Clenching around my fingers baby, know your gonna cum, stop holding back leg go for me’.
‘Shit daddy, I’m so close’ you cry out
‘Yeah you gonna squirt for me, soak the sheets?’
‘Yes daddy’
‘Go on then, cum for me sweet girl’
You couldn’t hold back any longer, after a few more thrusts of his fingers you let go screaming as you do, the ballon inside you also bursting resulting in you squirting over the lowers portion of Harry’s face and the sheets beneath, he moaned out. Your legs were shaking, your head was thrown back, and your back arched as he continued thrusting his fingers inside of you to ride out your intense orgasm. After a few moments you took in a sharp breath having forgotten how to breathe ‘holy shit daddy’ you barely mustered up, you felt like you were floating in mid air, you don’t think you’ve cum that hard in a very long time.
After a couple of minutes you start to come down from your high, you look at Harry who was still in the same position, his eyes were glazed over in lust ‘that was so fucking hot angel, swear I could’ve cum just right there and then’ he licks your folds cleaning up you up a bit. Harry swore he could spend hours between your legs, he couldn’t get enough of your taste.
Eventually he presses one last kiss on your clit, before blowing air directly onto the small bud, making you squirm at the overstimulation.
He moves up you body, pressing kisses against your skin along the way, swirling his tongue around your hardened nipples then blowing air only each in just like he had done to your clit making a shiver run up your spine. He reaches your lips kissing, dipping his tongue into your mouth so that you could taste your juices.
‘Was that good sweet girl’ his words muffled by your lips.
‘Yes daddy, m’kinda sleepy now though’ you say shutting you eyes a lazy smile spreading across your face.
‘No falling asleep on me now, haven’t even fucked you yet, m’cocks leakin’ for you.’
This makes you perk up a bit, now yearning to be filled with Harry’s cock, you had only just come down from your last orgasm but you were ready for another one.
‘Want you to come deep inside of me daddy, want you to fill me up so bad’ you whine.
‘You want my cock baby’
‘Yes please daddy’ you were desperate now.
‘Well since you asked so nicely’ he reaches down tugging his cock a few times spreading pre-cum over his length, before slipping into your warm cunt both of you groaning at the feeling, he thrusts all the way inside you his length stretching your walls deliciously.
‘Ohhh sweet girl, swear you pretty cunt was made for me, can I move now’
‘Yes daddy, you can move’ he instantly complies not being able to stay still any longer. He starts a steady pace pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in hitting the deepest spots within you. You reach your arms over his shoulders tracing some of his tattoos along the way then gripping onto the soft skin. Whimpers and groans filled the room as Harry buried his face in your neck, your natural scent mixed with your favourite perfume intoxicating him, you take your chance to suck a hickey onto his neck after not having much time to mark him up.
He was fucking into you at a fast pace now, getting lost in pleasure ‘so deep daddy’ you moan. He moved his face from you neck, gripping onto the headboard with one hand to get more leverage, the sight of him above you pounding you into the mattress turned you on even more if that was possible.
‘Daddy can you c-choke me’
His hand flies to your throat gripping it just enough so it restricted you breathing slightly, ‘like that baby, you love it when daddy rough with you, don’t ya’
‘Yes daddy, fucking love it’ you scream as he starts hitting your g-spot repeatedly.
‘Oh shit, daddy’s gonna cum, you gonna cum with me’ he groans hand getting slightly tighter around your throat.
‘I’m gonna cum to daddy, please keep fucking me like that’ your eyes roll into the back of you head you heels looped round his back and crossed at the ankle to keep him as close as possible. His thrusts start to falter and his cock twitches telling you he was about to fall over the edge ‘cum inside me daddy, want you to paint my walls with your cum, please daddy want it soo much’ you whimper also starting to tumble over.
‘Shit I’m cumming’ he growls sheathing into your cunt his cock twitching one last time, his balls resting heavy against the space between your pussy and your tight second hole, he emptied his load inside you, the sensation of his seed filling you up also made you cum, Harry’s grip on your throat giving you a head-rush as you do, you both felt euphoric. After the waves of your release come crashing down in you your body goes limp, you know that you will be sore tomorrow and probably the day after but it was all worth it. Harry’s takes longer to come down from his high, his cum now dripping out of your pussy. ‘You okay bub’ you say sweetly looking up at him.
‘Oh I’m more than okay baby, feel fucking incredible’
He takes his loosened hand off of your throat before resting his body on top of yours, his cock still buried inside of you ‘I take back that last statement about this bed being better than sex’ you whispered breathlessly into his hair stroking through the sweaty curls.
‘You better’ he tiredly laughs into your neck.
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thefanficmonster · 4 years
Text
Lucky Me (Sequel To Unlucky)
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Fluff
Summary: You aren’t always born with luck. Sometimes, you meet people who bring it to you. In short, they are your lucky charm.
Requested: Yes, but not in a typical way. A big thank you to all the wonderful people who read, liked, reblogged and commented on part one - Unlucky.  
@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  and many more ❤❤❤
They are the reason this story is being written. What was originally supposed to be an elaborate one-shot turned into the most liked piece I’ve ever written. I can’t thank you enough, guys. You are amazing and I hope you like this one just as much or even more than the previous. Love you ❤❤❤
Y/N’s POV
I’m grinning at my reflection in the mirror as I put on a pair of earrings. My face is already touched-up with a little make-up and my hair is looking on point. I can almost see my own reflection in the shine of excitement in my eyes. I take in my upper body via a quick once-over in the full body mirror opposite me, and I finally relax my muscles that I didn’t ever realize I was tensing.
“OK, now I’m ready.“ I say as a form of encouragement as I reach behind me for my phone that’s sitting on my bed.
You might be wondering where I’m going? Who I’m going with? What’s the occasion behind this many preparations and pampering?
The answer: Nowhere. No one. Nothing. I’m literally not even going to leave my house.
It might seem ridiculous to someone else, but to me, to my hypnotized mind, it’s perfectly reasonable to be getting so amped up over a FaceTime call. Yeah, you heard me correctly - a FaceTime call. 
Well, you see, this isn’t the first time we FaceTime, but it will be the first time we’ll see each other’s faces. I wanted to level the field so I didn’t let him on to what I look like, where exactly I live, etc. Basically, he only knows my name, which I am still prepared to call unfair, considering I don’t know his real name. 
A brief backstory to my first ever real interaction with Corpse: I was introduced to him by my friends. They are the ones I always turned to with all the scary shit happening in my life. Often times they didn’t know weather to comfort me or laugh at my curse. My friends suggested I start sharing it to a youtuber named Corpse Husband. You see, I love YouTube narrators and I’ve always been a fan of Mr. Nightmare and I, to be perfectly honest, always kept the idea of sending him my stories in the back of my mind. Nevertheless, I bit the bullet and checked out on of this Corpse Husband guy’s videos. And then another. And another. And before I knew it I was having a marathon after which I was too paranoid to get online, walk home alone at night, leave my curtains open etc. It wasn’t all thanks to the stories themselves. A lot of the fear factor these stories strike with should be credited to the way they are read. Let me tell you, this guy had it all figured out with the reading. Not sending him my stories would just be wrong. So I did, I sent him my first ever creepy encounter which was with a stalker from my high school and it took me only two days to forget about it. It only crossed my mind when my friends blew my phone up, demanding I watched Corpse’s new video. I kid you not, I got more scared by the story when he read it than when I lived it. That’s what settled it for me - I decided to send him each and every story.
And then one day, out of the blue, my life changed for the better in more ways than one. It got turned completely upside down, like a rollercoaster, and I just had to hold on and enjoy the ride, embrace the adrenaline rush and excitement, knowing full well that I chose to get on and there’s no way I can get off halfway through. 
I’m being too metaphorical. He sent me an email. He freaking reached out to me. And I was posed with a rough choice. Took me a minute, but I chose to reply to him, I chose to trust him, and I couldn’t just leave him on read one day simply cause I chickened out. Yes, I’m unlucky and these things don’t happen to unlucky people. I mean, they do, but they are nightmares disguised as a dream come true. I’ve lived all my life cautiously: if something sounds too good to be true it’s either not as good as marketed or not true at all. If it’s dark and late and there are no people around, FaceTime someone. If your Uber driver’s sketchy, cancel the ride. I take all the precautions and I still find myself in the worst situations. Or at least...
My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. A simple ringtone I hear every time he calls me. A simple sound that causes me butterflies when I hear it and ultimate devastation if the caller ID doesn’t read the name I want. It always gets me excited, probably more than it should. This time is different, however. It’s scary almost. I’m nervous, anxious, scared, hesitant - all things I never feel when I’m about to answer his call. 
With shaky hands I pick up the call and find myself looking at the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Now I know why I would have never initiated this meeting, because I know what color my face is right now. I know my voice has let me down before I even attempt to speak. I know I look like a mess. I know my obvious crush is showing.
Corpse initiated this meeting. He said he was getting too curious and he wanted one of his best friends to see him and for him to finally see her. It’s been about seven months since we first started texting and I haven’t let out a single peep about it to a single soul. It’s just between him and I. We are each other’s safe space away from the rest of the world.
“Thought you weren’t gonna pick up for a second there.“ His voice is not as confident as other times when we’ve talked. His trying to hide his own nervousness and all I wanna do is hug him and tell him he doesn’t have to. I kept telling him over and over again that we don’t have to do this if he’s not sure that he actually wants it. I even offered to show him what I look like, not expecting to see him in return but he declined, saying it was now his turn to even the field.
“I was in another room.“ I manage to say, my voice only shaking a little.
We spend a few moments just looking at each other. Admiring one another. For someone who prefers digital interaction, I am surprised to realize I wish he was actually standing in front of. I wish I could hug him. A long hug of comfort, mutual understanding and hidden feelings.
He lets out a short laugh, shaking his head which causes a few strands of hair to fall over his eyepatch, “I’m sorry...It’s just-...Fuck I’m stumbling.” He chuckles nervously, “I just...can’t believe you are real. You are a real person. And the most beautiful person I’ve seen. That’s corny, isn’t it.” He looks away from the screen, his face now a shade of red. “But I mean it. I’m embracing my corniness. You are beautiful, Y/N. Not that I’m flexing or anything, but I’m lucky to have met you.”
I laugh, feeling my eyes stinging from the tears that have suddenly formed. I don’t want to let them fall, but I don’t have much say in that. “Well, mister Corpse, I can’t begin to compare. I mean...that hair! I still cannot believe it’s you. You are not just a deep voice in my mind. You are....you are...”
“Everything you imagined and more?“ he jokes, making my whole body heat up. “I told you you could trust. I mean, if the hair doesn’t confirm I’m who I say I am, I don’t know what will.”
“Actually, I never tried to imagine what you looked like. I knew those visions...I knew they didn’t matter. Faces don’t matter to us, Corpse. I think you realize that.“
And just like that, all I’ve been keeping hidden is pouring out. I don’t try to stop it - you can’t stop a hurricane with bare hands.
���I never needed a face to imagine us. I always saw as talking on the phone, playing Among Us. Reading scary stories to each other on Discord. I never needed a face to imagine your company. To imagine what we could be...“ I trail off, letting the first tear slip down my cheek.
The most sincere look appears in his eyes, “Fuck, I wish I could hold your hand right now. Never mind, I wish I could hug you, Y/N. Hug you and not let go for a long time.”
I laugh halfheartedly, my chest burning from the intensity of this moment’s intimacy, “I can always tell you where I live.” I’m only half-joking. I really want to see him in real life, not just through a screen, but even this call is out of his comfort zone, let alone a physical meet up.
He surprises me yet again, “Saturday. I’ll bring the take out, you pick the movie.” he says with a smile that is literally saying ‘you didn’t see that coming, did you?’
“How are you sure I don’t live in a different state, or a different continent all together?“ I tease, making an attempt to put my composure back together.
He smirks, “I pay way more attention to your stories than you’d think.” I laugh, shaking my head as a pointless method of fighting the pesky tears that he has 100% noticed by this point. “By the way, just because we’re....” he thinks for a second, “in a weird zone between friendship and...something more, doesn’t mean you have to stop sending me stories. I absolutely love reading them for my audience. They love em too.”
I just realized I am yet to tell him the crazy miracle that has happened. “Well, the thing is...I don’t have any.” His eyebrows shoot up in shock which makes me laugh, “Yeah, I know, it’s crazy. Since the day we started talking I have not experienced a single scary thing. Deadass. I swear on my life.”
If I wasn’t so head over heels for this man already, the baffled expression on his face would definitely send me falling for him. He’s just that adorable. “Wow.”
“I know right.“ I nod, “Seems to me you have enough luck to share with me.“
His eyes light up at that comment, showing just how meaning full it is to him.
“You’re my lucky charm, Corpse.“
“I will never be more proud of any other title, Y/N. That I can promise you with no hesitation.“
“Deadass?“
“Deadass.“
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luna--reading · 3 years
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[PICK A CARD] WHAT IS THE NEXT UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS COMING IN FOR YOU?
Hello lovelies~ ♡
This is a pick a card reading for “what is the next unexpected blessings coming in for you”. This is a timeless reading and you’re meant to see this right now! Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~ ♡
So take a few minutes to mediate on these 4 piles:
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Left to right: 1 - 4
Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!
You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡
Pile 1:
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Tarot: The Star, The Fool
Oracle: A YEAR FROM NOW // FEELINGS – Emotions want to be felt. You really can’t surrender something until you deeply feel it. Allow me, dear Divine, to offer all emotions to You, feeling them fully so they no longer hold me captive! // TRUE LOLVE – Your wholeness and safety lie within, not from a partner. But this sovereignty actually leads to the deepest intimacy for you to stop using others. Let me stand on my own feet, dear Lord, and know True Love!
Okay, darling, I feel like this blessing or in fact, these blessings, that I see is going to come in continuously. It’s a continuous effort, I feel and I do feel that it’s going to be consistently flowing in for you within this one year. I do feel that there is a very strong love message here, so especially for those who are worried that you are not going to find a partner, or someone who is going to love you, the angels want you to know that yes, darling, you will get into a relationship. And I do see for most of you, it’s going to happen over the next 1 year. I do feel that this is someone that you’ve been manifesting, or it’s a wish fulfilment and I do feel that this new journey it’s going to be exciting and one that you’ve always been looking forward. The angels want you to know that you’ve been working on yourself, and they want to reward you with this major wish fulfilment, especially if love has been significantly on your mind. I do feel that this person is a true love and I do see a long-term commitment with this person. Be more patient, darling, is what I’m hearing. Over the next 1 year, you’ll start to see all of your manifestations coming together and that is because the angels are rewarding you for your hard work, so please continue working on yourself!
For another group of you, I’m also seeing a message of self-love. I feel like if right now, love is not something that you are looking for, then this blessing is that over the course of the next year, you’ll soon start to heal from past wounds and traumas, and love yourself again. Healing is going to take place over the next 1 year and I feel like you’ll find yourself back again so that you can start on this new journey. I do feel that you are asked to really get in touch with your own emotions and understand why you are feeling in a particular way. Only by understanding your true emotions, can you then allow yourself to heal from all of these past hurts and traumas. You are your greatest supporter, darling, and only by loving yourself first can you then attract the same energy back to you. Please start loving yourself more, darling, the angels have got your back and they are always here to protect and guide you!
Pile 2:
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Tarot: King of Wands, Ace of Swords
Oracle: IF YOU BELIEVE // CREATIVE BLOCKS – If you are an artist of any kind, you can offer all work to the Divine, making it God’s alone. I offer this for the Highest Good to benefit the planet. Release me from any blocks and restrictions. May this serve all who need!
Okay, this is definitely my creative pile here! Darling, I feel like this blessing that is coming in for you is the surge of confidence in your own talents and gifts. Some of you may be an actual artist, a dancer, or just in any forms of creative fields. I’m also hearing motivational speakers for some reason. And I feel like maybe you feel like you’ve hit a road block recently, or just your talents and gifts don’t seem to flow as much as you would like it to. The angels want you to know that you have to have trust and faith in your own talents and gifts. I do feel that there is going to be an opportunity for you to shine again on stage, or in public, or just somewhere for you to allow your creative energy to flow again. But firstly, you have to regain that confidence again. You have to tell yourself that you belong on stage, in public, or even just through your daily work. You have to tell yourself that you are as talented and as gifted as others and you can definitely achieve your goals and dreams. I see you having that boost in confidence and allowing yourself to believe in yourself again. Darling, challenges and blockages are compulsory on our journey, but it’s how we overcome them to take in those important lessons. That energy is always within you, darling, but you’ve been fearful of allowing them to flow because of these challenges and blockages. Release those fears, darling, you are talented and gifted and everything will start to flow once you start believing in yourself!
Pile 3:
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Tarot: 8 of Swords, 2 of Cups
Oracle: IT’S UP TO YOU // IMPATIENCE – My life is unfolding in Divine timing. All delays are beneficial. I’m always at the right place at the right time.
Now, darling, I feel like you might have been isolating yourself, or just wanting to be all alone recently, or even currently. There is this sense of you withdrawing from your social connections and just simply wanting to be alone. And I feel like this could be because of certain experiences that has resulted in you feeling like, you are being isolated from the rest. And it’s kind of like the energy of “I’ll isolate myself first before you can, so that it’s less hurtful to me that way”. You get what I’m trying to say? I feel like there’s a lot of unwanted thoughts that is causing you to create this barrier between you and your social connections and I feel like that could be due to anxiety or certain overthinking. Now, your thoughts and feelings are all valid, but I do feel that sometimes, you might be very stuck in your own thoughts and it’s just a downward spiral, resulting in this negativity that is around you right now. I do feel that you actually do have a lot of supportive, caring and loving relationships, connections around you, darling. But you aren’t seeing them, are you? I feel like if certain things didn’t unfold the way that you wanted it to (especially when it comes to social connections), you feel like people just don’t feel the same way as you do. So, this can be maybe a romantic interest and you thought that maybe that person doesn’t like you the way that you do. Or this can be a friend who maybe has rejected you on something and you feel like this person doesn’t treat this friendship the way that you do. But I feel like a lot of such rejections does have a story behind them. Maybe it’s not the right time, maybe this person doesn’t have the capability to do so, and so on. I feel like a lot of times, you tend to look at things from your perspective, because to you, you would do the same for others even if it isn’t the right time, or even if you don’t have the capability to do so. But darling, that is not healthy because firstly, you are not setting healthy boundaries for yourself and secondly, you should always put yourself first and not others. I feel like this period of “rejection” kinds of comes in as a lesson for you that you should always know how to set those healthy boundaries, and that only when you set those healthy boundaries, you can then attract the same energy back to you as well. You are not alone, darling, you do have a lot of people who are willing to support you. They love and care for you and those “rejections” from previously, they are here to protect you. Some things are not meant to happen, and maybe this is the angels’ way of telling you, you don’t have that capacity and capability to help everyone, it’s time to take a break. It’s time to free yourself from your negative thoughts and I feel like your blessing is that you’ll soon realise that you do have these people around you, but it’s really up to you if you’d accept this as a blessing into your life!
Pile 4:
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PTarot: Knight of Pentacles, The High Priestess
Oracle: GET MORE INFORMATION // COMPANIONSHIP – When you fully bless and embrace your aloneness, you’re ready for the ones who are meant to be with you. May I welcome this solitude knowing it will open the way for all healthy relationships. // EMPOWERMENT – When you ask the Divine to take over, you get pulled into your own authentic power. It’s a force of inner love that WANTS your wholeness and magnificence. Unfold my true and radiant self, dear Lord!
Darling, I feel like there is some message or news that you’ve been waiting for and the blessing that is coming in for you will be this! I do feel that you’ve been working on something. This can be in regards to a work project, or an opportunity in the financial sector, or maybe even in regards to love and self-love. There is something that you’ve been putting in the work and effort and that I feel like as much as you trust the process, you might just feel that there is something that is still not revealed to you. Or you just feel that there is still certain information that is being hidden. I do feel that the angels want you to know that certain information that is being hidden from you now is to protect you and it’s just not the right time. And while there isn’t a clear timing of when this information is coming in for you, I do feel that it’s going to come in at the right time. And the angels want you to simply just trust in the process right now and continue working on this thing that you’ve been working on for so long. It’s really trusting that your angels have your back and that they are always here to protect and guide you.
I do feel that there is also this message of boosting of your self-confidence as a blessing for you. I feel like maybe you aren’t exactly seeing clear results or the results that you wanted in something that you’ve been working on and you are wondering if this is eventually going to work out. Angels want you to know that yes everything is going to work out and you have to trust in yourself. And empower yourself so that you can continue working on this thing that you’ve been working on for so long. These results are coming in slow but they are the most grounded and stable energies. Information, news, messages are all going to flow in for you soon darling, and most importantly, I see you taking back your power. Throwing away all fears and doubts, I see you being confident and empowered soon, darling!
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haifengg · 4 years
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A = Affection (How do they show their affection?) The kinship type of guy. A lot of holding hands and smiling forehead kisses. Almost everywhere does he wrap his arm around his s/o’s shoulder. At a basketball game or something he will pack an extra blanket or jacket to give to them if they’re cold. He is very thoughtful about the little things in a relationship.
B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?) Their smile. Seeing their whole face light up when they are happy or amazed. How their eyes sparkle and maybe their dimples show? It’s his favorite thing in the world. His s/o’s smile makes his aches go away and his day clear up. It clears his mental acne really.
C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?) Huge cuddler. All the time. (See more at H)
D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?) He would want to take his s/o to Chicago and show them where he grew up. Introduce his parents and show his partner around. Make them taste his favourite pizza, maybe a road trip? The open road (the highway to heaven....), sunsets and gas stations. Have midnight pancakes and black coffee at a diner!
E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?) This I am not sure about. I would say he puts in a normal level of effort. Pretty much the same amount as his s/o. He shows them they are precious and his most valuable thing in life but he won’t go full bonkers on valentines day or something like that.
F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?) Johnny handles it very well. He is very educated and cautious about mental health in general so he would take every fear seriously. If his s/o is anxious about anything he will do his best to make a situation more comfortable for them or try to avoid the situation as a whole. G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?) Accessories. Johnny strikes me as a men who gets his s/o small things likes designer bracelets or card holders. Things they wouldn’t buy themselves because it’s unnecessary and expensive but if he knows they will accept and like it and most importantly use it - he will get it to them. And if they say they can’t accept he would say something like “It’s alright, don’t worry. I got a discount on it because I worked with them earlier this year.” Even if it’s a lie.
H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?) Johnny is tall and he has long arms. Perfect to wrap around someone and should them from cold wind at a busstop or pull them in after a long walk in the rain. He knows how much his s/o craves those hugs and how protected they are feeling when he holds them tightly.
I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?) Has this man issues with intimacy? No?? Have you seen him??? I would be just as confident if I was him. J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?) Jealous boyfriend right here. Johnny might act chill about his s/o hanging out with other men on days he is also available or seeing them walk out of lecture together on a day he wanted to surprise them by picking them up. He won’t let it show because it would hurt his reputation as LBBY (Laid Back Boyfriend of the Year) but his s/o will notice. Maybe by how short his answers are or because of all the questions he asks about that friend. Or maybe by the way he kisses them later that night. Maybe he also dislikes this side about himself because he knows he can trust them. K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?) Johnny’s kisses are to melt for. Just the perfect mix of soft pecks and slightly rough ... idk how to describe it. He would randomly bite his s/o’s lips to catch them off guard and if they blush he will laugh about it and pull them into a long lingering and smily kiss ... 
L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?) Constantly. He will say it. He will text it. He will moan it. He will ask you “You love me right?” There won’t be a day his s/o won’t hear or read it or both.
M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?) In a committed relationship Johnny would think about marriage 100% but he doesn’t have to get married right away. Maybe ever. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is happy just being with his s/o. Maybe he will think different if they’re ever thinking about having a kid. But in that case time will tell.
N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) Goofy dates! Game nights! Haunted houses where his s/o clings on to him! Arcades and hours of dance dance revolution! O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?) I don’t think he would go to fancy restaurants. Not even for an anniversary. It’s just not his thing and this casual red wine at the river or beach is more his thing than make dinner reservations and letting waiters tell him what wine he’s having. I am not saying that he doesn’t do it at all - maybe he enjoys it on some occasions (when he has to impress parents for example) but overall with his s/o ... I think a chill open air wine tasting might rather be his thing. P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?) He messes around all the time. He will make himself a bra out of lather when he’s in the shower try to seduce his s/o, he will mock the radio moderator and make up an semi-interesting newsflash about their breakfast. Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?) Loves to ask their s/o for their opinion so he does it a lot. Sometimes he even changes his decision if his s/o has some really good points or perhaps even better ideas. R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?) This man is so goofy how is he not random. He will wake his s/o up in the middle of the night just to go see the stars. He would make last minute dinner reservations and trick them into a dinner date by asking them if they come pick him up. He is so random and I love it. Though it would drive me insane. S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?) A lot of cuddles and soft temple kisses during the early state of the night or the going-to-bed/settling in but once everyone is comfy and tired they slew butt to butt. He jokes about that constantly. T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?) He lives off and thrives on trust. A relationship in which he wouldn’t fully trust his s/o is no relationship to him.
U = Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?) Johnny radiates positive vibes, which makes him insanely attractive. He is so comfortable with himself and empowering towards literally everyone it’s as if you would have your very own personal cheerleader. With him on their side his s/o could literally accomplish everything. V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?) He is pretty open about his feelings and concerns so I don’t think it would take a long time for him to talk to theyr s/o about everything. He shares his worries with a lot of friends/close friends but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s less significant when he tells his s/o. He might talk to a lot of people about things but he might only take advice from a few. W = Weather (What would he do during a cloudy and rainy day?) Coffee and galleries. A day with rolling thunder or just light annoying rain for him is the most welcome excuse to take his s/o for a classy museum tour. It doesn’t matter if it’s modern art or some good old fashioned photography. He would love to spend hours there and not missing out of anything in the outside world. X = Xylophon (What does he think about their s/o’s taste in music? Is it different?) If you they like the same music as he does - he would love it. But honestly he is such an open-minded man we would listen to anything at least once and even though he doesn’t like it would say something like ‘It’s interesting.’ On a car ride or something they would agree on something they both enjoy or put on a shared playlist and he would peacefully endure the songs he doesn’t like or enjoying them just as much because they make his s/o visibly happy. Y = Yuck (Is there anything that might bother their s/o about him? Any flaws?) So... we all know how much he enjoys coffee. Sometimes maybe a little too much. And we also hopefully all know the rules of basic hygiene and how you shouldn’t overdo it. What I am trying to say it that boy has coffee breath. He has so much coffee during the day that he can’t possibly brush his teeth every time. Not saying that he is dirty or anything. Just ... take a hint - pop a mint.
Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?) This man breathes passion. I honestly don’t think he could be with someone less passionate than him. More reserved? Yes. Someone who doesn’t take the lead? Yes. But someone lacking in passion is a no-no. I’m not even talking solemnly about passion in a sexual way. It also applies to interests or hobbies. Being passionate about a certain topic or sport, music, politics, ... you name it. He is the utmost passion able person and we all know it. Period.
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Taglist
@kpopsnowball​ @starrdustville @jeonghanmoon
@himitsu-luna  @pocky-otp
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