#like yeah obviously i know that people have different taste than i do and i understand that like people are out here who genuinely did enjoy

[m00nkissedlover]

・｡tasty confessions 🥮

you've ordered: a vanilla gingerbread tart! enjoy!

"this is falling, falling in love"

leona kingscholar x reader | word count: 1,418 words

summary: holiday confession gone wrong...and right? 🥮

warnings: none!

note: i don't celebrate christmas, so in the fic, i didn't specify the holiday (used "holiday season" instead)

"trey, a little help here?" you yelled, attempting to carry two trays of tart shells out of the oven.

"ah, coming! you've gotta be careful, y/n." the green haired boy reminded you, rushing over and taking one of the trays.

the cozy holiday season had settled upon night raven college rather nicely. decorations were put up and plans for celebration were in full swing. and you intended to make this one extra special.

you'd decided to bake tarts for your friends in the various dorms and even a few for the night raven staff. as you filled the shells with various creams and custards, trey helped you out, offering up his baking expertise when you were caught in the weeds about how to do this.

as you now cut up various fruits and other sweets for decoration, the door to the kitchen opened and in walked cater, holding grim in his arms.

"i couldn't get him to stop. he somehow smelled your tarts from down the hall." cater said, seeming like he'd put in a lot of effort in trying to stop the cat-like creature.

"hey, you better save some for me, henchman!" grim exclaimed, hopping out of cater's arms and onto the counter.

"don't worry grim. after i'm done, i'll make you all the tuna tarts you want." you smiled, scratching under his chin.

"hey y/n, why are these tarts different than all the others?" cater questioned, pointing to a small batch of tarts that were obviously different from the others.

your cheeks colored a bit upon being questioned, your hand almost dropping the spoon you held.

"those are...for leona." you admitted, cater letting out an excited "ooh!"

it was no secret that you had a crush on leona. the lion beastman had caught your attention the first day you'd arrived. you used to think he was lazy and rude, but after being around him for a while, your outlook changed. and so did your feelings.

"i plan on writing a note to him in which i confess my feelings and...putting in in his tart bag..." you murmured, your cheeks warming up in embarrassment.

"confessing to him with tarts? how cute." trey quipped, placing a tray of finished tarts into the fridge to chill.

"yeah, i just hope it goes well..."

"oh trust me, i'm sure he likes you too. leona isn't keen on putting up with people just like that." cater said, swiping a bit of cream onto his finger and tasting it.

"cater!" you scolded, rushing to grab grim before he dunked his whole head in the bowl.

"alright, alright! enough fun. i've gotta get back to baking." you playfully grumbled, shooing them out.

a day had passed since you cooked up your delicious sweet treats. each person had 5 tarts, all in a clear bag with a colored ribbon on top. you went around to each dorm handing out the tasty tarts and to your surprise, everyone loved them!

you finally stopped in front of your final destination: the savanaclaw dorms. you clutched the basket in your hands, glancing down at it to do one last check. one for ruggie, one for jack, and obviously one for....?! you then realized you were short one bag...and it was the most important bag of all. just where was leona's bag??

in haste, you quickly scrambled back over to heartslabyul, ignoring a nagging riddle as you barged into the kitchen. you looked everywhere, every nook and cranny. absolutely nothing.

you grabbed your phone, calling trey.

"hey trey. have you seen the tarts i made for...you know who?" you asked, praying that he knew something.

"no, sorry y/n. the last i saw of them was when i left last night, and they were still in your basket. did something happen?" he asked, seeming concerned.

"uh, you know what? don't worry about it. thanks trey." you said before hanging up.

it wasn't like the tarts had grown legs and ran away! you didn't have time for this. and you definitely didn't have the time to make new tarts. you asked across the dorms (except savanaclaw) if they'd seen the tarts, to which everyone responded no. what were you going to do?

as you paced around the hallway, someone called out your name. turning, you were met by ruggie, a member of savanaclaw. upon seeing your panic, ruggie made his way over to you, tail flicking.

"y/n, what's wrong? you look more stressed than leona when he can't get his favorite sandwich." he asked.

you let out a sigh of defeat, leaning against the wall. "i made tarts for everyone to celebrate the holidays. i also made...special tarts for leona. i was going to tell him how i feel today, but...i can't find his damn tarts!" you groaned.

"well, what did they look like?" ruggie asked.

"they were in a clear bag like everyone else's. but his had a yellow and black ribbon on it, whereas the ones for you and jack were just yellow." you could already see the guilt on ruggie's face.

"spit it out."

"i may or may not have found said package of tarts...and given them to leona-" ruggie mumbled, visibly sweat-dropping.

your mouth fell open in horror as you realized the situation you were in. leona...had already gotten your tarts!

"ruggie, where is leona right now?" you asked urgently, shoving the basket into his arms.

"oof! uhhh...i think he's in the botanical garden. that's where i gave it to him."

you made a mad dash down the hall, bursting into the garden. your eyes frantically looked around, spotting a tail in the corner of your eye.

when you got closer, your stomach dropped as you saw leona, already breaking into the sweet treats.

"need something, herbivore?" the beastman asked, his tail flicking.

you swallowed, taking a breath before walking over and snatching up the note.

"you didn't read this, right?" you asked, leona smirking as he licked cream off of the corner of his lips.

"and what if i did?" he challenged, your heart dropping.

"h-how much did you-?" "all of it."

the note fell from your hands, your heart aching as you looked leona in the eyes. damn...this was embarrassing.

as you tried to keep yourself from panicking, you stepped closer to him, kneeling down to his level. "so...how do you feel about what you read?"

leona let out a soft "hm", as if he were thinking of the perfect response. "come a little closer." he said.

you shuffled a bit closer to him, mumbling a soft "yeah?" as you did. the lion man just smirked, beckoning you closer.

"come on herbivore, get closer. just a little. and close your eyes."

you moved closer till you were practically touching noses with leona, your eyes fluttering shut. you felt like your heart would leap out of your chest at any given moment.

thwack! you pulled back, your eyes opening in surprise. leona had just flicked you in the forehead!

"what the hell, leona?" you exclaimed, your hand flying up to caress the spot he'd flicked.

"you really are dense." "what-"

leona leaned in a bit closer this time, his breath tickling your cheek. "you think i ate your tarts out of pity? if i didn't want 'em, i could've easily given 'em away. seems i've taken...a liking to you, herbivore."

you froze right there, on the spot. you couldn't believe what you were hearing. THE leona kingscholar just confessed to YOU. you didn't have time to think before leona captured your chin between his thumb and index finger, his emerald green eyes locking with yours.

"hm, you still don't seem very convinced." before you could even think...leona's lips were on yours.

the kiss was soft and warm and made you feel all fuzzy inside. you slowly eased into it, your hands coming up to cup his face as a warmth flowed through your body.

when it was over, you nodded your head, a slight flush on your cheeks. "yeah...i get it now..."

leona let out an amused chuckle, pulling you down to lay with him, a soft yelp leaving you.

"don't you usually sleep alone?" you mumbled, your face warming up.

"you owe me. all your tarts made me sleepy. your punishment is to lay with me and not move a muscle."

you laughed a little, reaching up to tuck a bit of hair behind his ear. "should be easy enough."

and just like that, your holiday was one to remember.🥮

© m00nkissedlover, 2024

[magnusmodig]

ovo whispers menacingly abt his grandstanding .

[shoechoe]

man i am glad i didn't get the tumblr layout update

[starry-nights-garden]

Ateez Reaction ✧ When they weren't your first bias

✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader ✧ genre: fluff, humor ✧ warnings: none

Hongjoong:

the nr 1 overly attached jealous bf in front of atiny so obviously he has to play his part when he finds out that you originally biased Seonghwa

makes you wish he had never found out tbh jdbdjxjjd

but you just can't deny it when he finds your old stash of Seonghwa photocards

"I'm not upset, it's fine. People's tastes can change." - says that while sounding VERY upset

will leave it at that for now but will get a giggle out of reminding you of this in the most unexpected moments

gives you a gift that you don't react to super enthusiastically: "Well, it doesn’t have Seonghwa’s face on it, so I get that you don't like it."

you don't hug him back once because you're distracted by something else: "Well, I'm not Seonghwa, so I get it."

you don’t pick up his call because you weren’t looking at your phone: “You’d have picked up if it was Seonghwa, right?”

will he ever stop? nobody knows

at this point you can’t even tell whether he’s just messing with you or if he’s actually still petty about it kasdjöfklas

Seonghwa:

his pride is definitely hurt when one day you mention to him that you used to be a Yeosang stan

“What do you mean? Like… I wasn’t your first bias?”

you try to brush it off by telling him people’s tastes change, it’s really not that deep

well, it is that deep to him kasdljföas

“Like… you liked someone else before me? It wasn’t love at first sight??”

turns out he always thought he was your first bias and now you just shattered his entire worldview ksdjfkal

needs to know exactly why you liked him, in as much detail as possible, so he can do better!!

thinks this is some kind of competition, even though your little celebrity crush on Yeosang is long over ksadjflkas

actually it’s quite charming and definitely entertaining to see him making such an effort, so you decide to watch for a while before starting another attempt at reassuring him that he’s just perfect the way he is in your eyes, and he can stop comparing himself with his team member now :’)

Yunho:

deliberately startles you by sneaking up to you from behind when he catches you watching a Mingi fancam

“Oh? What’s that?”

softly laughs at you when you instinctively hide your phone screen jasklfjösadk

but then you also scold him for surprising you like that

he’s quick to apologize and sits down next to you, already having figured out what’s going on

“Was your first bias Mingi?” - you can’t but admit to it

but Yunho just acknowledges it with a nod - he knows you like him best now and he doesn’t mind that you used to like someone else

“So your type are tall guys?” he questions and then laughs about it

yeah, this one’s just completely chill about it, really he sees no reason why he would be upset about something like this

Yeosang:

barely even reacts when you tell him that your first bias was Jongho

"Ah." - simply shrugs it off??

so you go on with your conversation which eventually drifts off to a different topic

you're thankful that he doesn't really mind or seem jealous

you'd go as far as to say you're glad you have such a mature boyfriend!!

... until you're about to walk away to go do something else and you hear him mutter something under his breath

"I'm much better than him anyway."

???

so you turn around and say "what" and he's fully ready to explain lol

"Well, first of all I'm more handsome than him. I'm also much nicer to you. Also I personally think I'm a better dancer."

gives you a full list of reasons why he’s better than him that sounds a little too much like he had prepared it in advance jcjdjxjx

San:

“Wow, Y/N, I expected better from you!!”

ngl you’re scared to death when you hear him yelling that from the other room, but once you find him holding up all your Wooyoung merch the tension leaves your body at once

obviously the first thing that comes to mind is asking him whether he’s jealous that you used to bias his best friend aksdjflkas

“I mean- You never even told me about this!!”

you try to calm him down by telling him it was just a phase, San is now your nr 1, etcetc, but he just won’t let it be

“No, I mean… how can you keep these when you’re dating me now…” his voice just gets smaller and smaller sakdfjlas

poor bby is actually upset about this, so you resort to the only thing you can imagine would work to calm him down

you take the merch away from him and give him a big hug, letting him rest his head against your shoulder

he pouts at you and makes you kiss him as reassurance, because he is obviously jealous, but also he would never admit that out loud laskdjfka

tries to act like nothing happened after getting all the cuddles he needs to feel better about it lol

Mingi:

it’s when you’re cleaning your apartment together that you stumble upon all of your Yunho merch and you immediately feel guilty about keeping it a secret from him

you figured he might be hurt over it, and though you were looking for a good time to tell him about it, that moment just never came

“Ah, right… I used to be Yunho biased actually…” you briefly explain and try to laugh it off

“Yeah, I knew about that.” - his unbothered reaction catches you off guard, so you ask if he’s not upset

“Why would I be upset? He’s my bias too!” 

?????????

ends up looking through your collection with you and you swear he has heart eyes a few too many times aksdfjökas

so all’s well that ends well, right? wrong.

because several days later he will wake you up in the middle of the night and confess that maybe he is a little jealous after all…

needs you to reassure him that you’re nothing more than Yunho’s fan, and Mingi is the one you love the most now!!

Wooyoung:

"What do you mean, you liked Hongjoong??"

you can tell it never even crossed this guy's mind that you could've ever biased someone other than him lol

when it eventually finished sinking in and he stops perplexedly staring at you he just??? pats you on the back??

"Aaaaa, you did well choosing me over him!"

pats your head now??

"I'm actually much better than that guy, you know!!"

gives you a full on speech about how awesome he is and explains to you in detail how basically you'd be doomed if you dated Hongjoong lol

"I mean, he's a great guy! Don't get me wrong! But taking care of you? I mean, come on. You know you can always rely on me, but him??"

expects you to praise him and tell him he's right at the end of it

WILL complain if you don't do that, and the only way to console him is you stroking his ego a bit and lots of kisses :')

Jongho:

when one day you casually mention to him that you used to bias San, you can literally see his brain trying to process that fact

starts sulking???

acts like he's super upset and lowkey complains while just pouting about it

you know he's acting but what you don't know is whether he's just acting or if he's also a little upset (he's VERY upset)

he's also so so embarrassed that he's this upset about something so stupid, so obviously he has to do his utmost to confuse you so you wouldn’t notice his inner turmoil djbdbd

he'll eventually get over it, but the initial shock runs deep lol

will definitely tease you about it at some point or use it as a way to win an argument jdbdhhd

"Oh, would you have been upset about that if it was San too?"

and well, now you're angry, so he's quick to make it clear that he was just joking and will definitely make it up to you with a kiss

[judespoets]

𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 | 𝙟𝙤𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙢

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: jobe spends the perfect day with you, and him making you his forever wasn’t what you expected.

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: jobe bellingham x fem!reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: none

Jobe shifted, propping himself up one elbow. You were still sound asleep as he just looked down at you, admiring every single feature of your face.

His gaze traced the curve of your jaw, the delicate line of your throat.

"You know," he murmured, "I love waking up like this every day."

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, and a sleepy smile tugged at your lips.

"Like what?" You asked, your voice still thick with drowsiness.

"Wrapped around you," Jobe replied, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your bare shoulder. "The sun shining through the window, your hair messy like that. It's absolutely perfect."

Your cheeks flushed, and you buried your head into the crook of Jobes neck. "You're too sweet," you whispered. "But I agree. This- it's perfect. You're perfect."

Jobe chuckled. "You're not just saying that because you're half asleep, are you?"

"No," you said, lifting your head to meet his gaze. "I mean it. I'm really thankful for you, you know. When I'm with you, everything else just- doesn't matter."

Jobes heart only swelled, even though it was common for you to be extra affectionate in the morning. He'd never been good with words, but you had a way of unraveling him, pulling out the emotions he kept hidden.

"My love," he began, "i love you, so so much."

Your eyes softened, and you cupped his cheeks. "I love you," you whispered. "More than words can express."

You just kept laying there, tangled in each other, you listening his heartbeat with your head on his chest while his hands kept stroking your bare waist slightly.

"Babe," Jobe said, breaking the comfortable silence, "what do you really want from life? I mean really want."

You tilted your head, looking at Jobe with a confused look on your face. "Jobe, babe, you already know that. Where does that come from we've been together for two years we talked about all of this on like our second date." You said, chuckling slightly.

"I know, baby. I just- we talked about it but i want like an update, you know. Do you still have the same priorities?"

"I think i do, yeah. Well obviously i still want adventures. I want to explore new place, taste exotic food, meet new people. But you've become my priority for sure. I really want to do all that with you, you know. I don't imagine my life without you in it anymore." You told him honestly. "And you?"

He grinned at you, you could see the sparkle in his eyes which were looking down at you with admiration.

"I want to make a difference. Not just a ripple, but a tidal wave. Maybe write a book someday."

You acted offended. "No me in your future?"

Jobe put the hair behind your ear, looking down at you, "I love you so much, baby. You're my number one priority, sweetheart and my future doesn't exist without you."

You laughed, burying your head further into his chest while Jobe held you tightly.

"What do you wanna do today, any plans?" Jobe asked you since it was his day off today.

"I do need to get some groceries but other than that i'm all yours today, babe." You told the man next to you.

You both loved a free day. Days where the both of you have nothing to do and Jobe doesn't have training, it gave you time to spend together since that did fall a bit behind with Jobe's tight training plan.

"I'm taking you out tonight, be ready at 6:30 and dress fancy." Jobe told you softly. "I'm making breakfast what do you want, baby?"

You were stunned at first. You didn't expect Jobe taking you out today. You both were normally the staying in type of couple. Since Jobe also gets recognized a lot. But the both of you loved this idea of a date night, cuddled up on the couch with snacks and a good movie.

"Why? Any special occasion?" You wondered out loud.

"Can't I take my girlfriend out once in a while?" Jobe asked jokingly.

"You can, where are we going?"

"Ha, as if i'd tell you that. Just be ready." Jobe told you as he winked and left the room to get breakfast started.

While Jobe was downstairs in the kitchen, you got ready, doing your usual skincare routine and throwing on a pair of leggings and one of Jobe's hoodies. Walking down the stairs you smelled the amazing smell of pancakes, your favorite breakfast.

"What's going on today? My favorite breakfast too? Did you do something or what?" You wondered, jokingly, sitting down at the table with Jobe.

"Babe, don't worry. I just want to make you happy." Jobe smiled at you, giving you your cup of coffee.

The both of you spent the day grocery shopping and going for a little walk before you started to get ready.

Walking down the stairs of your shared home you saw Jobe standing there, practically admiring you.

You wore a dark red, long dress with a small slit at the leg. Your hair was done in curls and your makeup was fancy yet simple.

Arriving at the front door, you looked at your boyfriend, he wore a black suit, your favorite.

Chucking, you wrapped your hands around his neck while his almost immediately wrapped around your waist.

"You look so beautiful, baby." Jobe told you, looking down at you.

"Thank you. You know you don't look too bad yourself, handsome." You chuckled, giving Jobe a small peck on the lips.

Together, the two of you walked to the car, Jobe driving you to the restaurant he booked you a table at.

Walking towards the restaurant, you noticed you knew that one. It was the restaurant you spent your first date at.

"Jobe! Our first date was here!" You exclaimed full of excitement, you loved the idea of spending your evening with Jobe here.

"I know, you happy?" He asked hopefully, turning his head towards you.

"So happy." you answered.

The two of you spent an amazing dinner together, which Jobe obviously paid. He never let you pay.

Walking out of the restaurants doors, expecting to go home, Jobe pulled you to the other direction.

"Let's walk at the beach a little." Was the only thing he said.

The beach wasn't too far away and it was a really warm night so you didn't complain, although the heels you were wearing did start to hurt a little bit, but it was bearable.

Entering the beach, you walked a little while before you saw light. So many little candles were forming a way together with rose petals, hundreds of them.

"Look Jobe! That looks so beautiful." You said clueless.

"You think so? I was hoping you liked it." He answered, grinning from ear to ear.

"You did that? Are you serious?" You asked, not believing what was happening.

As Jobe let go of your hand he started running towards the end of the walk where you started to see a little circle also formed out of roses and candles. You couldn't believe this was happening.

Arriving at Jobes place, you turned, looking at the beautiful view.

"What's all of this, babe?" You asked, turning around and clapping your hands over your mouth, the tears already daring to spill out of your eyes.

There he was, down on one knee, holding a box with a beautiful diamond ring inside of it.

"(Y/N), baby. I really didn't plan what I was going to say. I was too nervous about the rest. But baby, you are the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, loving woman i have ever met in my entire life. When I met you, i knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, touché, i know." Jobe said slightly laughing.

"You are the woman I want to marry. You are the woman i want to be the mother of my kids and grandmother of my grandkids. You are the woman i want to grow old with. (Y/N), you are the woman I want to love and cherish for all my life and after. My love, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, will you marry me?" He asked, with a few tear streaming down his own face.

You were lost of words, you couldn't say anything, you were shocked to say the least. So you just nodded. You nodded so much you could think your head would fall off.

"Yes, of course, Jobe, of course I want to marry you." You said as Jobe slid the ring on your finger, standing up and taking you in his arms, spinning you around.

As he set you down again he didn't waste another second before taking your face in his hand and kissing you passionately.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said in between pecks on your lips. "You just made me the happiest man on earth, my love." He told you, wrapped his arms around your waist, while you wrapped yours around his neck.

You just stood there, taking in the moment, in each other arms.

Jobe pulled away, turning around.

"SHE SAID YES!!" Was all that was heard before you heard cheers from the other side of the beach.

You saw a figure running towards the both of you, revealing Jude as he tackled you both to the ground, hugging you.

"I'm so proud of you, bro." He said, laughing and kissing all of Jobe's face.

You couldn't control your laughter anymore,.

You were so, so happy.

[helluvapoison]

Hey can you write headcanons for alastor, angel dust(both platonic) and sir pentious (romantic) with a gen z/millennial reader? Just general stuff and interactions (like maybe talking about how things are for the lgbt community with angel and talking to alastor about gramophones and how they're coming back in style) and just some shenanigans

I know you don't have these characters listed in your writing list, and it's completely fine if you cant write for them but i love your writing style and characterization so I wanted to know how you'd imagine things would go

Alastor, Angel Dust (platonic) and Sir Pentious (romantic) x Reader

˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• “Hey Al! Loving the drip, it’s giving strawberry cow meets dark academia core.”

• Now he knows what others feel like when speaking to Zestial. He doesn’t understand half of what you say

• You taught him “tea”. Originally he thought you were providing real tea, something useful, not tedious gossip about— Oh. Oh. That could come in handy, actually. Alastor begins to pencil you into his afternoon tea. Sometimes you bring him useful information, others he has to sit through petty issues that make his eye twitch

• Alastor outright bans you from using your phone around him. He has no interest in this “meme” that reminds you of him (Don’t bring it out again, next time he’ll break it)

You groan, “It’s not as funny if I have to explain it!”

“It must not be very humorous in the first place.” He retorts

• He thinks you’re complimenting his taste in decor when you call it vintage

• You’ve proven yourself a useful acquaintance. Like Nifty, he’s grown accustomed to your presence and learned it may be better not to understand the inner workings of your mind

• “Got any aces?” someone asks while you play Go Fish with Husk, Angel and Sir Pina Colada. You never fail to jab a thumb in Alastor’s direction, cackling and kicking your feet

• They give you a peculiar look in reply

“Fuck you guys, I ate.”

• Yeah, they don’t get that one either

˚✧₊⁎ Angel Dust ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• It feels like every day Angel’s mid-insult and snapping his fingers at you, beckoning for you to conjure up a fresh comeback

• “Ooh! You just got cancelled, take the L, you fucking poser!”

He cackles, “Yeah! What they said!”

• Started calling himself an e-girl because you said it once about Charlie and never elaborated. He thinks it means cute… He’s not wrong? You don’t correct him, it’s funnier this way

• Playful arguments 24/7

“RIP, Angel, you would have loved Mean Girls— Wait, if a movie dies would it come to Hell? Never mind, don’t answer that, it would obviously go to Heaven.”

“I’ve met some real weirdos down here, sweetheart, and you outrank almost all of ‘em.”

• Something Angel noticed he could only appreciate from you is how different you react to his relationship with Val. He already knows it’s not healthy and he knows he gets defensive when people bring it up. Like the others, you listen, you comfort, you get furious on his behalf. You also offer him insight and labels he never thought would be helpful

• You hold up two fingers like you’re conducting an orchestra as you speak, “Say it with me; boundaries, bitch.”

“Boundaries..? S’at like bondage–?”

”NO!”

• Angel’s the only one that makes HellToks with you. The dances he learns faster and performs them better than you, often adding his own choreography to them. The “pass the phone” challenges never end well– especially when he tries to rope Nifty or Alastor in on them (RIP your old phone)

• Honestly, you’re pretty surprised you get along with Angel as well as you do. Y’know, considering he died a thousand years before you—

“I ain’t that old!”

“Your death certificate says otherwise, fam!”

˚✧₊⁎ Sir Pentious ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• He’s not sure how to handle how touchy you are first. You go around high-fiving everyone, freely holding hands with whoever lets you, offering hugs and– thump. Your head hits his lap, staring straight right at him with a goofy grin. And that.

• “Say slay,”

“Sssslay?”

• Oh. He quite likes the laugh that gets out of you

• Starts saying the word as much as possible, puffing his chest out proudly when you double over laughing. You don’t have the heart to tell him he’s using it wrong 99.9% of the time

• When you began consistently picking him for a chair instead of the others, he was stuck between throwing you across the room and making a break for it or pointing and laughing in the faces of everyone else. You chose him! HA!

• Bless his soul, the way he asked you out was so sweet

“I’ve done extensive research and found the equivalent of going sssteady in your language! I would like for us to move forward with the relationship ssstatus.”

“Huh? Oh. You want to go out with me? Yeah!”

“Fuck yesss!“

• Pentious gives ride or die a new definition. Everything you say or you do, he will back you up. His eyes sparkle from the praise you give him

• That, and making him blush takes little effort on your part. Complimenting him like you always do (at least he thinks you are, sometimes he’s not certain) has his cheeks glowing in seconds

• After following you around for an hour, because Pentious wanted to make sure you could get along with the Egg Boiz without him, they adopt bits of your personality and bizarre phrases. “Now we have two parents!” “No cap!” “Yes cap, you’re wearing a hat!”

• You’ve single handedly make the Egg Boiz worse in the eyes of everyone but Pen. He’s ecstatic over the results, he doesn’t know what he would do if he had to choose between you and his eggs

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ this was so silly and fun, i hope you enjoy anon!

[ghost-bxrd]

Been mulling over Titans Tower and it's really interesting to me how it's treated in Fanon as compared to how the events transpired in canon. it's a really fun topic! Honestly, the original writing in canon is DOGSHITE but not for the usual reasons people cite.

Here's what does make sense in canon but is largely ignored (this is using canon characterisations at the time): First, it's all about the whole Titans team, not just Tim. They really downplay his death a lot, did not put up his statue or honour him whatsoever. Plus the hero community tends to victim-blame him a fuckton. Jason is showing that his death could've happened to anyone. Second, Tim and Jason are just two yearish apart—Jay died at 15, Tim becomes Robin at 13—so those Titans are more like his colleagues than anything else; he's not some older guy beating the shit outta them. Third, Tim’s indifference to Jason's comments and his cockiness about being a better Robin are pretty on-brand for his early portrayal as Robin. (I think fanon Tim derives a lot of his characteristics from his Red Robin run, which is valid as well! But here in particular we have Robin Tim... who... was... uh... a bit of an asshole when he was written back then and the HUBRIS on that man? Immaculate.)

What still makes this absolutely dog shit is the dialogue and how Jason is pouring his heart out to someone who he doesn't really care about. Jason... just doesn't operate this way... Why's he trauma dumping on... tim... ???? It makes no sense whatsoever because Jason really is someone who'd keep those vulnerabilities to himself. Why would he open up to... CANON TIM??? He makes scathing remarks when faced with Bruce and Dick because he knows the knife twists then and at he cares about their reaction. But not tim ????? Canon UTRH doesn't even mention Tim ????? ???? So in the end it's still shit imo.

I also find the use of Pit Madness in fanon super interesting, despite it not being canon. It's used to propel the Titan's Tower incident, which fascinates me because it shows how people are willing to work around its flaws to maintain consistent characterization in their works (which is !!! cool !!)

It's so interesting how many other incidents that do occur in canon aren't as well known as this one aren't given much thought. But this one is and it's interesting how people try to work with it regardless of it's flaws originally!

I'd really love to hear your opinions about it and how flexible you are with the Titans tower incident! :) How do you work with your Jason and your Tim? because it's cool to hear your analysis etc etc

Hooo boi okay i was planning on replying to this earlier but this deserves a proper, thought out response (which I’m shite at but I’m trying here. Words are hard.)

For one, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole trauma dumping thing.

Obviously we all have different tastes in media and I know there are quite a few people who enjoyed the confrontation with Tim, which is totally fine, but personally… yeah, not my thing.

I got into the Batman/batfam fandom via fanfic, so my first introduction was some version of Titans Tower I believe. I was super intrigued by the characters and the tidbits of lore sprinkled throughout that I immediately began reading up on them and digging through the internet for more info and background story on them. Which then quickly evolved into the part where my adoration for Jason’s character began and a short phase where I absolutely despised early canon Tim.

Like— all the victim blaming. He seriously couldn’t mention Jason without adding something derogatory about getting himself killed, which sat so, so wrong with me. Not to mention the Titans just accepting a new Robin right off the bat and joining in blaming Jason for his own death. I’m pretty sure that was the point where I swore off comics for a long while and decided to live off fanon 🤣

And then Jason’s part in the Titans Tower incident. I think part of how weird the canon event was is due in part to how the writers fumbled to depict trauma? Or maybe they just outright hated him because I know a lot of people back then despised Jason and his run as Robin.

Whatever the reason, I think I genuinely cringed when he revealed the Walmart Robin costume he was wearing. And then the trauma dumping.

Jason is smart enough to know Tim wouldn’t care about his grievances. I mean- dude just broke into his hideout to attack him, I think Tim’s about as done with Jason as with any other criminals, regardless of his past. And all that is proven by Tim fighting back tooth and nail without pause. He doesn’t even react to the accusation of the missing statue in Jason’s honor. Like, he genuinely doesn’t seem to care. And why would he? They don’t know each other.

And yeah maybe he was trying to beat some sense into Tim (which is still wrong but— vigilantes I guess? Idk) and make him quit Robin, but Jason’s also smart enough to know that Robins don’t quit easily. And then, as soon as Tim is down for the count and can’t keep fighting, Jason leaves. Just like that. No actual murder attempt, no kicking-while-he’s-down (at least as far as I remember).

It makes no sense. What would Jason be gaining from that encounter? Why would he blame the kid that replaced him and not the guy that did the replacing? Hell, it would make more sense for him to go after the Titans than Tim. Not the mention him casually doubting Tim’s talents when he must have done some background checks on him.

It’s why I like the idea of Pit Madness I guess, and that Jason actually went to the tower with the intent to kill. Because that way the entire thing wouldn’t seem so… pointless.

As for how flexible I am with the Titans Tower storyline, it really depends on the route people choose to explore. But I’m a huge sucker for the “Jason was Tim’s Robin” trope where there’s at least a mild amount of hero worship going on. 👁️ Oh, and happy endings. I can’t deal with tragedies.

But yeah these are my thoughts on it. Obviously no hate to whoever enjoyed the comic mentioned above 💚 we’ve all got different things we resonate with after all~

[cranberrv]

obsessed

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ in which sodapop is in love with dally’s ex

( a/n : this is SO mid & a bit out of character but i hope you enjoy nonetheless! kind of inspired by olivia rodrigo’s song “obsessed” but i took some creative liberty and switched the plot a bit )

3 weeks after his breakup with sandy. it only took 3 weeks to find someone else to obsess over — and it was you, dallas winston’s ex.

if dallas knew how much sodapop looked at your picture, he would be dead in a ditch. but he couldn’t help it! you were perfect, you were kind, you had those lips that just hypnotized anyone who glanced at them, you were well-read, and you were made for him.

it was mid-summer when he saw you again. the last time he saw you was when you were at the drive-in with your former lovers, dallas and sandy. but this time was obviously different. you walked into the DX while he was working. instantly captivated, he watched as you smiled amd waved to him, before grabbing a diet coke and going over to him to pay.

“hi, soda,” you smile. “long time no see, huh?”

“yeah, guess so,” he nods and scans your drink. “diet coke, huh? that’s my favourite.” it’s a desperate attempt to bond with you.

“really? that’s cool. i don’t know a lot of people who like the diet version, lots of people think it tastes like water but they just don’t get it like us.”

‘like us.’ holy fuck. he is down bad. “you’re not lying,” he laughs. “so, um, what have you been up to since you and dal broke up?”

you shrug. “hm, not much. it’s been boring, honestly. i miss hanging out with the gang.”

“we miss you.” he agrees. “it was fun having you around.”

“thank you,” you say. “how’ve things been going since sandy… you know, left.” you assumed it was a sensitive subject, but was soon proved wrong.

“i thought i’d be worse than i am. i’ve been too busy with other stuff on my mind to even care, i guess.”

“yeah? watcha been thinking about, then?” you ask, tilting your head.

he knew it was wrong. he knew that dallas would be livid, he knew that every girl who liked him would turn against you, but he’s beyond it. he’s got issues, he can’t help it.

“you.”

“..what do you mean?”

“you’re all that’s on my mind, y/n.” he can finally form a complete sentence. “and it’s fuckin’ killing me.”

“soda..” you sigh. “dallas would be—“

“who cares what dal would say? he’s your ex, he doesn’t even care about you anymore. and darrel doesn’t like him anyway, he wouldn’t be a loss.”

“he’s gonna beat your face in.”

“it’s worth it.” he insists.

“you’re crazy, you know that?”

he laughs. he knows he is, after this. no sane person would go after his buddies ex. you would have to be a monster. but he is a greaser. “come to the drive-in next friday, i’m going with a bunch of my friends.”

you hesitate. “..fine, i’ll come.” you do a horrible job at hiding the smile on your face.

he smiles. “see you there, y/n”

you nod, and take your diet coke and walk away. he didn’t even make you pay. he can’t wait for friday night. those dreadful 3 weeks seemed like nothing now that he had you.

[bapple117]

Figured there was no harm in double checking lol. So… do you think bill is even capable of desiring or wanting sex? Would he just…….. be doing things to people lmao, can anything of his be touched sexually? Also maybe a weird question, but has Doc even felt anything physically like that, being that they have a human body, or no?

Okay I'm gonna be answering this after the jump - fair warning! My answer is 18+, minors DNI, and anyone who feels weird about thinking about the characters in this context just SCROLL AWAY! I'm serious! I'm answering this in a mature way, taking it seriously as an interesting question. I don't want any judgy looks, so I'm giving you ample time to walk away right now... Okay! With that disclaimer said...

So in regards to what I think about canon!Bill - I think he'd have fairly little to no interest in sexual gratification for the most part, given the fact he doesn't have a corporeal form / genitals (that we know of LOL) in his triangle state.

I think he would probably enjoy the psychological aspects of controlling / influencing someone ELSE'S physical experience, though - in a consensual scenario, I imagine he would be the one exclusively doing things to the other person, getting more of a mental satisfaction from it rather than physical. Like, "Huh! Poking you there makes that kinda reaction, does it? Well, this just got interesting!" sort of deal.

I also think gratification via proxy is an interesting concept too, ie, Bill possessing a human and experiencing what they feel through them. I've read fics exploring this idea - both the human being consciously aware of what's going on, with Bill inside their mind feeling the same sensations and controlling them - I think that's as close as canon!Bill would get to experiencing real sexual feeling / gratification.

Obviously there's scope there for a more non-consensual reading of those situations, but I'm not really one for non-con so I won't comment on that.

In regards to fanon!Bill, I think there's more of a spectrum available for exploration, depending on what that version of Bill looks like. I've seen lots of takes on human!Bill (both art and written) that explore him coming to terms with having human sensations / desires in a really interesting and nuanced way, and I think that's a really cool approach. A non-human entity suddenly becoming human and being like "Ew, gross! This body is weird. But... food tastes nice and being touched is fun..." is a trope I greatly enjoy, personally. In regards to MY Bill, as in, the one I am writing in The Theraprist... Hrm. The one I'm writing is going through a lot of character development that isn't present in canon so it's hard to compare, but I think it would involve a mixture of the above with some slight differences. My headcanon is that he has erogenous zones even as a triangle, so any kind of intimacy with him wouldn't look like typical intercourse, but would be possible in a manner of speaking. Maybe his edges are sensitive to being licked, etc etc.

I won't be writing anything sexually explicit IN The Theraprist, but if I were to explore that in a seperate work (maybe a one-shot or something) I would definitely go for that angle (pun intended.) Obviously, if it was happening in the Mindscape... Well. That opens a lot more opportunities. Anything is possible in there... In regards to Bill's past on Earth, times he possessed humans... Well. That's actually something I'm going to allude to in the fic itself, so I'll keep my thoughts on that up my sleeve for now. As for Doc, I think I'll mostly leave that up to reader interpretation, as I wouldn't want to project my own headcanons on to a character who's meant to be a faceless blorbo anyone can insert themselves in as. BuuuuUUUuut if I AM coming at it more from a "this is my original character" point of view, then I'd say that... Yeah I think they've been around. They've been alive for thousands of years and can turn into anything they want - I'm sure they've fooled around with something at SOME point. Not as a human, though - them turning into a human to be Bill's therapist was the first time they had shifted into one, ever. I touched briefly on the whole "getting used to human biology" theme with them here and there, hinting at the potential for more...

Maybe I will explore it more explicitly eventually! Hope that answers your question :)

[meiliarotten]

Lingerie Headcanons (All Mercs!)

🔞Minors DNI🔞

The Masterlist

👟 Scout 👟

Honestly I see scout as the kind of guy that gets worked up if you just happen to wear a bra and panties that match.

He just likes the idea that you put thought into what you were gonna wear for him

If you really wanna play to a fantasy though…

Playboy Bunny suits

It’s stereotypical, but people find those outfits sexy for a reason, so can you really blame him?

Favorite colors- he would claim to like the typical red and black, but I honestly think he has a soft spot for pink.

And he definitely doesn’t know shit about lingerie styles (tbh, neither do I. I’m looking at charts and cosmopolitan articles as I write this) so a simple bra and panty set suits him just fine

🦅 Soldier 🦅

Just dress up as the Statue of Liberty, he’ll be all over you

Ok, I’m kidding. Kinda. On to the serious stuff.

I think less is more with Soldier. I’m thinking vintage pinup aesthetic really gets him going

I know it’s not technically lingerie, but hear me out

Wear a dress or top that shows off your chest or “accidentally” drop something only to bend over in a skirt that’s conveniently just a bit too short

Bonus points if your wearing some actual lingerie beneath that skirt, flashing a bit of lace

Tease him, see if you can crack that strict drill sergeant demeanor he tries so hard to maintain

Once you're in private just know he’s not going to hold back on you.

favorite colors are red white and blue. No, I will not be backing down on this.

🔥 Pyro 🔥

the more colorful, the better with this one!

That goes double for frills.

Honestly the two of you could probably make a whole day out of you trying on different outfits and strutting around like a runway model, much to their delight

Pyro is like your own personal cheerleader

May also enjoy sexy costumes (nurses, French maids, etc), but I don’t see them as being much into roleplay, so those are probably more for fun

The fashion show usually ends when an outfit is just too hot for them to resist 😏

Because Pyro fucks and I will die on that hill

Their favorite colors for lingerie would be shades ranging from fire red to pastel pink

Favorite style is either babydolls or rompers. They just think you look so cute in them!

💥 Demoman 💥

He probably has the most ‘traditional’ lingerie tastes of everyone

Nothing too fancy, just a silk chemise or a pair of lacy black panties will do just fine

He definitely loves being surprised with it now and then. Undressing you to find that you’re wearing something special is always a turn on

Sometimes he’ll even save up to buy you a pair for special occasions like anniversaries.

He always gets super flustered when giving it to you, though. It’s really freaking cute

That said, if you really want to get him going, wear a pair of his boxers

You know those guys who think it’s hot as fuck when their partners wear their boxers or briefs?

Yeah, Demo’s one of those guys, 100%

Plus, you get to wear comfy, loose underwear. It’s a win-win!

🥊 Heavy 🥊

Heavy doesn’t have any need for fancy lingerie

Honestly he’s kinda terrified of tearing it. That stuff is expensive!

That said, he does enjoy the way you look in a teddy.

When he learns the name of the garment he’ll call you his “little bear.” It quickly becomes his favorite pet name for you

Favorite colors- doesn’t really have any. He thinks you look pretty in any hue.

That said, one thing that gets him even more worked up than lingerie?

Is when you wear one of his shirts- obviously way to big for you, fitting you like a nightgown- and nothing else.

🔧 Engineer 🔧

this is gonna be stereotypical as hell

And honestly he’s very aware of how stereotypical it is and he’s a little ashamed of it

But if you wore a sexy cowgirl costume he would be on you in a nanosecond

But let’s run with that- I think Engie likes costumes

This man has a secret knack for roleplay, I’m telling you

Naughty nurses, feathery show girls, a college student with a low cut blouse who would do anything for a passing grade

He does have some more vanilla tastes as well though. For example I think he loves the simplicity of a camisole or nightgown

Favorite colors would include white and baby blue

🏥 Medic 🏥

I will PERISH on this hill- Medic is a thigh man.

He LOVES the way stockings hug your legs. (In fact I’ve written a fic about this exact scenario)

He would also go feral over a sexy nurse outfit. Is it stereotypical? Yes. But it is also very hot. (I have also written a fic about this)

He’s definitely bold enough to just outright ask you to wear something for him, perhaps a blood red bustier and some matching garters (to play into that thigh kink I mentioned)

However he leaves it up to you when you will be wearing said thing, maintaining some element of surprise.

Once he actually sees you in it, perhaps waiting for him in his private quarters after a long day of work, he will take his time to admire you, making you do a little spin for him

He’ll definitely tease you and refuse to undress you until you're begging for his touch on your bare skin.

🦘 Sniper 🦘

Sniper is not a picky man when it comes to sex

That said, lingerie is always a welcome surprise

His only preference comes down to the style of the lingerie- he prefers crotchless designs.

He doesn’t see the point of wearing something sexy if he has to take it off to fuck you

Styles where the bottom of the panties can be easily pulled to the side also work for this

I think he also enjoys silkier textures.

He’ll run his hands over the fabric both during and after sex, almost as a way to soothe himself and come down from the high

Neither of you really know why this calms him down so much

🌹 Spy 🌹

Spy has sugar daddy energy and will probably buy lingerie for you

Expect the fanciest, silkiest garments that money can buy.

Chemise, robes, and negligee (which is basically the “wealthy widow whose husband died under mysterious circumstances” robe, according to the internet)

Most often they would be in traditional black, but I feel like a deep violet or midnight blue could also be appealing to him.

Oh and get ready to be teased to hell and back.

Spy likes to take his time, especially when you’re wearing something nice for him. After all, what’s the point if he just strips it off of you immediately? (plus this stuff is expensive so he’s gotta get his money’s worth out of this.)

He loves teasing you

[therealieblog]

A big part of Intuitive Eating involves the de-stigmatizing of food. How do we de-stigmatize food? By not assigning it moral qualities, and by not using derogatory, negative language when we talk about food.

Examples of moralizing, derogatory and negative language we, under diet culture, still use regularly when talking about food:

"Sinful"

"Fattening"

"Unhealthy"

"Deadly"

"Bad for you"

"Clean"

"Pure"

"Healthy"

"Good" "

Junk/Junk food"

"Crap/Crappy"

Words to use instead of: Instead of "Sinful", or "Fattening", use "Decadent", "Rich" or "Delicious". Avocados and dark chocolate and many organic, "healthy" foods will make you fatter if you eat them often enough. Is this really about health? Or is it about fatphobia?

Instead of "Unhealthy", you can just say what it is about the food that impairs your health. "It hurts my stomach," "It makes my skin greasy/makes me break out", "I'm allergic to it" "I feel nauseous when I eat that." That at least is honest. Saying any food that isn't on some diet culture list of approved foods is "unhealthy" is just not scientifically accurate or backed by anything other than fear mongering.

Yes, eating foods high in fat and salt and sugar in large enough quantities, for long enough periods of time can negatively affect your health, but the vast majority of studies done on exactly how it affects your health, do not control for participants' smoking, drinking, drug use, genetic predispositions (genetics makes up a significant portion of health by the way), sedentary lifestyle, exposure to chemicals in the environment, mental health status, or literally anything outside of what they eat, so... yeah... f@ck that.

Ditto with "Bad for you." It's just so formless and un-researched and based in fatphobia. What does that even mean? In what amount is it "bad for you?" would it be equally bad for anyone to eat "unhealthy" foods at any time? Is there a magic threshold past which one's donut consumption goes from infrequent to "bad for you" levels? Or, are human beings a wildly diverse group of people, who all have very different bodies, metabolisms, genetics, tolerances, tastes and needs.

"Clean" is just as bad as "Bad For You", only worse, because it's so moralistic. If food is made out of animals, plants and grains, and is considered edible by human beings, it's fucking clean. Now if you're talking about gross things falling into the food by accident during the process of making it, or if you're talking about pesticides being used on your fruit and vegetables, then I get wanting to make sure the food is "clean". But if you're putting food on some sort of angelic pedestal for being free from sugar, or saturated fats, or carbohydrates, then you are still stuck in diet culture.

Instead of "Junk food", which implies that the food itself is garbage, which is honestly just a horrifying way to think about and talk about food, you could say "play food", "fun food", "snack food". These foods: chips, chocolate, cookies etc. aren't meant to fulfill your nutritional needs. We eat them for enjoyment, or to pick us up when we're blue, to calm us when we're stressed, or just because it tastes good and we like eating it. I think gentle nutrition is important, and paying attention to how food makes you feel is obviously important, but the way we perceive food and talk about food, reinforces what we think of ourselves when we eat it. If we are eating "bad" and "unhealthy" foods, then we are bad and unhealthy people, and that is a mind-fuck, believe me.

I've performed a 25 year longitudinal dieting study on myself. I know what it feels like to absolutely hate myself for what my body tells me it wants to eat. Not fun. So please have a care with the way you speak about food, and the way you look at yourself in relation to food. Food is sustenance and life. It is meant to be enjoyed, not feared. Lets not talk about food as if the thing meant to connect us to life also makes us inherently morally deviant.

[vilf-lover]

i’m not one of those cool fanfic writers so don’t expect greatness and i’m idk how to make a title and fancy specifications but

this is how i imagine darlin getting everyone kicked out of the club because of them fighting went down ⭐️

gn!darlin

1400 words 😭😭😭 certified yapper

“I LOVE THIS SONG!!” angel shouted into darlin’s ear while an intense edm rendition of ‘baby’ by justin bieber roared from every crevice of the club

they were wondering if anyone was going to be able to hear after tonight, but they didn’t care because of how much fun they were having. though, they were questioning angel’s taste in music…

“OKAY I AM GOING TO GO GET A WATER AND GO SIT DOWN WITH MR PARTY POOPER OVER THERE” obviously darlin was referring to their wonderful mate that just happened to come to the club again- even after last time ;))

he claimed he came again for safety reasons but they knew it’s because he had a blast, even before their “dance lesson”. sam may not be a dancer, but he always talks about how music makes him feel truly alive, how he felt when he was human. a reminder of his livelihood.

darlin ends up sitting next to their mate the rest of their night as they both enjoy shirley temples and nice cold waters.

as the night grows older, the pack decides they’ll stay for 30 more minutes before leaving.

about five minutes before they plan to leave-“darlin’ i’m gonna use the restroom before we head out. don’t get in any trouble without me.” he chuckles as he jostles out of his seat and makes his way to the back.

about a minute passes before a man, about 6’0, shoulder-length hair, one full sleeve of tattoos sits on the chair next to them; in the seat sam was occupying.

“so gorgeous, you leaving here with that guy? because i know something that would make you much happier” he smiles smugly as the words leave his lips

they’re a bit taken aback. while this was not their first rodeo, no cowboy pun intended, they now felt way different when being hit on. as though it was an insult to them and sam.

“oh really.” they say in such an unenthused tone that most people would stand up and walk away right then and there.

it seems as though he takes this as a challenge. “yeah hun, i’m sure i could treat you better than he could. tenfold. how about i prove it?” you can hear the smirk on his face.

this is when darlin’ decides to stop being civil. there is nothing they hate more than a person that won’t take no for an answer. they would know after being in a relationship with one for way too long. boundaries are boundaries.

“listen. i am trying to give you the chance to leave this conversation right now. rejection is hard, i know. i’m sure you’re horny and lonely, but i’m not. so leave me alone.” they scoff and turn their chair back to the bar

“well didn’t know you were such a fucking bitch who didn’t know how to have fun but whatever” he starts mumbling to himself as he walks off, head hanging low

sam appears in the crowd of people, making his way back to his seat. “phew- sorry, the line was so long. how’re you doin’ darlin?”

“well- other than a guy poorly hitting on me, i’m doing okay” they scoff thinking about the interaction

sam is puzzled. “who did what? i left for like two minutes and you’re being ambushed. what am i going to do with such a fine specimen of a mate”

he leans in for a kiss as they both laugh and get up from their seats to meet everyone at the front

darlin and sam are walking out of the club with ash, milo, david and their mates when they hear something behind them

an agitated voice yells at the group, “oh so you have a little posse. and there’s your little boyfriend too. cute.”

confused, they all give glances to each other before darlin’ says to just keep looking forward and walk.

soon it would become obvious that this was not the end of the interaction.

“ignoring me? it’s good to know they’re all fucking bitches! just like you!” the man slurring his words and getting progressively louder as his sentences drag on

darlin’, upset, turns around and approaches the man while still keeping a good five feet of distance to try and maintain some civility. “can you leave me and my friends alone. you are obviously tipsy so i’m giving you this last warning”

they go to turn around before getting kicked in the stomach

“i’m not scared of you or your little friends! and i won’t take a pathetic ass threat!” he says, now screaming.

everyone is in shock- a person they don’t know is now attempting to hurt the person they all know won’t take shit.

“holy shit!” milo gasps, possibly for dramatic effect

david sighs while rubbing his temples, “this is not going to end well for him”

darlin is now standing up after falling into the ground, brushing the rubble off of their hands. there’s an annoyed look on their face as they walk over to sam. “i really did not want to do this tonight but can you take my bag and my rings?”

the man is standing there distraught, wondering why they are acting so leisurely after getting kicked.

darlin’ gives sam a kiss on the cheek and looks at the pack, “enjoy the show, i guess” they roll their eyes before turning back to the man

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing, you think this is some kind of jo-“ he tries to mutter a sentence, before getting punched square in the face

usually, darlin likes making fighting a game. something they can drag out and feel some adrenaline before ending it. but tonight? no, not tonight.

the man looks up, his nose is bleeding immensely. he looks terrified, skittering back on his feet and hands as darlin’ approaches them.

darlin’ is now towering over him, the dim illumination of a streetlight overhead creates a silhouette of their figure thats spine-chilling, they look menacing as ever

“i’ll let you stand up once.” they say under their breath, “give you some dignity. so it won’t be so embarrassing to remember tomorrow.”

they walk back as he very slowly gets up

the man laughs, “giving pity? not a good idea. i can destroy you hun. i just wasn’t prepared.”

he goes to throw a right jab after swinging his left leg in between their feet to knock them over.

in theory, it’s a good idea. make them unstable then hit them when they’re not excepting it. unfortunately for him- that’s not how it went…

darlin is not affected by the leg, and instead squeezes his leg in between their feet. making him stuck- falling directly on his side. a painful landing to say the least

as the pack is watching, they’re also making full commentary. not loud enough for them to hear, as that would be a detrimental mistake.

“do you think they’re going easy?” david asks

“oh absolutely” sam chuckles, “this is nothin’”

asher laughs, “yeah i think they’ve thrown a punch harder than that at me!”

the man is now in fetal position on his left side, wincing in pain.

darlin’ leans down to a crouch, frightenly close, and whispers, “next time, know. no means fucking no. don’t do this ever again. prick.”

the emphasis of their words would’ve been enough to make him topple over in the first place

he does nothing but nod as they walk off.

with impeccable timing, the security guard from the back of the club walks up to the group.

“i’ve been asked to escort you and your party off of the premises.” the man had a deep voice and is quite taller than anyone in the group.

darlin’ chuckles, “are you joking? i mean- this dude was harassing me and then my “party” this whole time and you didn’t feel the need to interject.”

the guard seems to give a glance that says “yeah, i know. i’m just doing my job” which everyone in that group has given before.

“okay. we were just leaving anyway. thanks sir, have a good night” david seems to be the only peaceful one at the moment. at most moments actually.

there’s silence in the pack as they continue walking away from the club until a overly-enthusiastic “wow! that was awesome!” spouts from asher

i am not a fic writer to say the least but i have a very active imagination and i hope this lives up to standard in one way or another

@rarelyisa

@infinitelovewithoutfulfillment

@aimedis

i hope you guys enjoy :>>

[cyanocophrenic]

"Do you... enjoy this?"

Shit.

I need to deflect, but when I open my mouth, all that comes out is a low moan. I feel so... massive. I can barely think.

"The first time, I was just worried about you. The second time... I just thought it was a weird coincidence. But now," she gestures at all of me with both hands. It's a big gesture. "Three times feels like more than coincidence."

She's not wrong. I've got to say something.

"I've known other people who've gotten blown up, you know? And after they get... you know, fixed, they've- they've all developed phobias, or left town, or gone through really intense therapy. But you," she says, placing a palm on my exposed belly, "have been completely unfazed. You just keep coming back for more."

My skin feels electric where she touches me. Everything is so full and tight, every little brush of breeze against my exposed skin is searing pleasure. I moan again, and she whips her hand away like she'd laid it on a hot stove.

"Sorry! I know I shouldn't be so casual about this. I should really call someone to come help you." She starts patting her pockets looking for her phone. "Sorry," she says again, then she stops. She looks back up at me.

"Should I even call for help? I should, right?"

Is that even a question?

"But what if you just do this again?"

Ouch. I've been lax, I guess, but I haven't been doing this on purpose! I mean... I have thought about it, but... it hasn't been intentional.

I think.

"It just takes up my time. The medical crew's time. Company resources." She looks conflicted. "Maybe I should just leave you like this."

Oh.

I try to plead my case, deny it, but all that comes out is a halfhearted "Nnnnnnnnnn-" before she cuts me off again. I'm just too full to speak.

"I could have you transferred to taste-testing," she muses. "Putting up with weird shit is, like, their whole job description." She starts dialing on her phone. Someone answers promptly.

"Hey, you'll never guess what happened again. Yeah, again again. Third time. Yup, big enough to roll, for sure."

She absentmindedly pats my belly with her free hand, like I'm some sort of bad boy you could fit so many things in. It's thrilling, that small touch. I nearly lose it, right then and there. Thankfully though, she remembers I'm a person just in time to give me an apologetic look before clearing her throat and returning to her call.

"Can you see if R&D has any openings for a QA Consultant? I know, right? All my ideas are good ideas. She's clearly more interested in being a giant balloon full of wasted product than an accountant."

I guess she's not wrong.

"No, no need for a trip to the squeezer. Put a note in her file that she's only to be reduced if she asks for it explicitly. Maybe have them bring a safe-suit, too. Hm?"

She looks me up and down. It's a long, curious look.

"No idea what size. Big. Really, really big. Yeah. One of the ones with the belt. Mhm. Yeah, she's not exactly naked, but... yeah, let's not give HR anything to complain about. Right. Yes, I'll follow up with her landlord and emergency contacts as needed. Yup. Thanks. See ya."

She turns back to me. She takes another long look, and then sighs.

"Congratulations on your promotion," she says, with a weird mixture of sincerity and irony. "We'll obviously miss you in Finance, but we're happy that you'll be rolling onward to bigger opportunities."

Oh good, she's got jokes.

"Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't make fun. Company policy is to treat this as a medical emergency, so I'll be staying with you until help arrives."

She checks her phone again.

"If you want, I can come visit you once you get settled in? I know I've always been happy to see friendly faces amidst all the strangeness of a new job."

She looks up at me again, sadly this time.

"I was looking forward to getting to know you better, you know? I noticed how you started dressing differently after your first... incident. HR would probably have something to say about how much I was... noticing. I thought maybe you were trying to get away from the trauma by being more poised and put-together."

She kicks her heels off and slides down the wall until she's sitting, obscured by the curve of my body.

"Oh well. Probably better for everyone that I didn't start hitting on a coworker."

Wait.

"Especially not one who keeps finding excuses to swell up until she's spherical," she adds, wearily.

Fair.

"I really should have seen this coming, shouldn't I? I mean, you've been touring the factory floor on your lunch break weekly. That's on me, I guess."

She hops back to her feet. "I think I hear the Medical folks." She brushes her skirt out, and looks me in the eyes one last time. "Hey, listen... I'll see you a-round."

She smiles and rolls her eyes at her own terrible pun, and walks away.

[fritz-federleicht]

Jealousy/ Vessel x reader

Summary: Vessel and you hate each other, yet for some reason he is jealous of your ex

Notes: This story is longer than I thought, have fun with it

Words: 1.953

FLUFF

---------------------------------------------

"Shit, there's my ex." You point to a small group of five people moving toward you. All of them are wearing a ribbon with a card around their necks. It says VIP in large letters.

"That's your ex?" Vessel utters, a slight hint of jealousy in his voice. His white mask stares toward the group. "You used to date that guy? He looks like he just robbed a bank." You can literally imagine his appraising look under the mask.

Your ex is wearing a tank top, tattooed arms peek out. It's true, he does look a bit like a criminal. Luke, that's his name, obviously sees you because his expression getting darker.

You punch Vessel in the arm. He grabs you gently by the wrists, preventing you from hitting him further.

"Do you have something against my taste in men?" You glare at him. You don't like each other much. You're here mostly just for III and the others.

"He's just... I don't know." Vessel lets go of your wrists after he realizes that you don't want to hit him again.

You want to answer but are interrupted by III. "Argue later. The group is coming to us now."

You know people want to meet the members. For this reason, you want to move aside, but an arm suddenly wraps around your shoulder. It's not III, II or IV. No, it's Vessel. He pulls you to his black chest.

'What is he doing?' You think to yourself. You just want to get away from your ex and try to push Vessel away. But he holds you in place. "Let go of me." You whisper softly.

"Just play along." He answers. You frown. "Trust me."

The group is in front of you now. You force a smile. The group leader passes the floor to Vessel. Immediately he starts giving a short speech about the band, songs and Sleep.

All the while you feel the piercing gaze of your ex on you. Vessel seems to mind, because he lets his arm slide from your shoulder to your hip and pulls you closer to him.

You open your eyes and look for help to III, who shakes his head, his eyes apologetic.

"Thanks for coming." With these words he ends his speech. After that, there is enough time for people to take pictures with the band.

But now you finally break away from Vessel. You stand to the side, wait until everyone has received their photo. Unfortunately, your ex was the first to take one and then stood next to you.

"Are you dating him now?" He asks in no uncertain terms. You look to the side and try to ignore him. "Does he love you more than I ever did?"

Your head snaps up. "Why do you care? You broke up with me!" You emphasize the word you.

"He's so different, not your type at all." He says, almost disgusted.

"I can love who I..."

A big hand suddenly slips into yours. "Babe, is everything okay? Do you know this man?" Vessel asks you worried. You don't know if it's real or fake. If it's an act, he's very good at it.

You still hate him but he saves you from your ex so you look at him gratefully. "Yeah, that's my ex. I didn't know he was a fan of your band, honey."

Vessel nods and holds out his free hand. "Nice to meet you...?"

"Luke."

You watch the scenario unfold. Luke and Vessel's hand join in greeting. As they do so, Vessel literally crushes the hand of his counterpart.

You frown. Why is Vessel suddenly so jealous? He never is.

"It was nice meeting you, Luke, but unfortunately your group is moving on."

Luke nods and says goodbye. "See you Y/N."

As soon as Luke is out of your sight you want to shake Vessel's hand off. He doesn't let go of it. "I appreciate it but you can let go of me now."

"No. What if Luke sees us again? He thinks we're a couple."

"And what does that have to do with our hands now?" You're visibly annoyed.

"You don't want him to bug you again, do you? So we need to act like a couple."

You raise your free hand and extend your index finger in his direction. "Just today!"

"Just today Y/N."

You screw up your face and nod.

"Good, let's go join the others. They're waiting." As you stand with the band members, they stare at your entwined hands in confusion.

You point your head at Vessel and roll your eyes. They just accept it without elaborating.

Later, Vessel announces that he has an idea. "Just stand at the front of the crowd."

And now you're standing right there, pressed against the barrier in front of you. Not far from you, you recognize Luke's profile. Hopefully he doesn't see you. You don't feel like being bothered by him for the rest of the day.

One after the other, the members enter the stage. The audience goes crazy. Finally they see their favorite band.

The music plays and the concert starts. It goes on as usual. Vessel dances and flirts with III. Nothing abnormal. But why did he want you to be in front? Despite your ignorance, you enjoy the show, nodding along to the beat.

Finally, the chords of The Summoning begin to play.

The drums start and Vessel jumps from one leg to the other.

"I've got a river running right into you"

He was standing on the other side of the stage until just now. Now he slowly walks in the other direction, towards IV and thus towards you.

A thought occurs to you. Is Vessel planning to flirt with you? In public? You could slap your hand in front of your face. Why'd you say yes to his idea?

He stretches his painted hand gracefully forward, leaning in your direction.

"I've got a blood trail, red in the blue

Something you say or something you do

A taste of the divine"

He sings like every word is meant just for you. You smile and pretend to enjoy his attention. Maybe you do?

"You've got my body, flesh and bone, yeah"

His hand runs over his chest, down to his muscular stomach. White skin remains.

"The sky above, the Earth below"

He raises his hand to the sky, then points below him. Then he steps back and sings the chorus with full abandon.

"Raise me up again

Take me past the edge

I want to see the other side

See the other side"

Vessel yells into the mic, standing in the middle again. Then he continues singing until the slower part starts.

The music plays and Vessel slowly gets on his knees in front of you. His mask looks down, he holds the mic in one hand. Then he raises his free hand upwards.

"Oh, and my love"

Your heart starts pounding and you can't help but smile. The words 'my love' trigger something in you. It feels like he really means every word he sings.

"Did I mistake you for a sign from God?

Or are you really here to cut me off?

Or maybe just to turn me on"

He tilts his head questioningly. Making your ex jealous has obviously become secondary.

"Cause these days

I would be lying if I told you that

I didn't wish that I could be your man"

Suddenly a tear comes loose and runs down your cheek. It feels so real what he says. Does he really want to be your man? Yes you hate him but somehow you don't.

"Or maybe make a good girl bad"

His lips twist into a cheeky grin. You open your eyes wide.

IV is standing next to Vessel. Your gaze briefly jumps to his ocean blue eyes. He looks at you confused, probably wondering what is going on between the two of you so suddenly. The other members look confused as well. You've never acted like this before, never been so affectionate and passionate with each other. And certainly not in public. Usually you just insult or ignore each other.

Vessel finishes the song and leans forward, exhausted. As if he had put all his strength into the song to reveal the feelings he has for you.

More tears run down your cheeks. You wipe them away.

Vessel folds his hands and raises them to his forehead to thank the crowd, to thank you.

You're caught completely off guard. You absolutely have to talk to him later.

Only now you remember your ex. You look at his place. He glares angrily at Vessel, who simply ignores him and doesn't look at him once. Luke does not speak to you again that day.

When the concert ends, you wait until the audience has left. Then you sneak backstage to the dressing room.

You knock. Vessel opens the door.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you." You say shyly. Vessel nods and steps aside to let you in. Then he closes the door.

You're alone in the room, the others seem to be freshening up.

"So what was that on stage earlier?" You ask without beating around the bush.

"What was his name again? Your ex?" Vessel pretends to forget his name.

"Luke."

"Right. Make Luke jealous. As agreed." Vessel walks past you and sits down on a couch.

"Sure it was just for that?" His white mask turns to you.

You sigh. "Vessel I'm just going to tell you now. I don't know if you feel the same way but I like you, I really do. Even if it often doesn't seem that way."

"Really?" Vessel asks, surprised. His voice is soft.

You nod. "If you don't feel that way, it's okay. I just thought because of the song..."

Vessel grabs your wrist and pulls you to him. You land on his lap.

"Y/N I've had a crush on you for a long time. I wanted to tell you but I was too shy. I just never knew how to handle it. That's why I've always been so mean to you." He tells you his feelings.

After a brief moment of silence in which you look into each other's eyes, you begin to speak. "I like the song."

He clasps your hands and looks at them sheepishly. "I wrote it for you." He says barely audible. His words make you melt. He's so sweet.

"Vessel?" You lift his chin. "Can I kiss you?"

He doesn't give you an answer but leans in. Your lips connect. A flicker of fire arises in your body.

His hands rub over your back, holding you in place, protecting you from falling.

Suddenly the door opens, men's voices sound.

"Yes, and then there was this.... oh my god. Out of the way! Now!" You look up and see III standing in the doorway with his back to you. He completely exaggerates and tries to push away II who is behind him. "Go away! I need to get out of here!" Says III impatiently.

"What's going on?" II asks, confused. He obviously hasn't caught sight of you yet. You pull from Vessel and sit up.

"Y/N and Vessel making out." Says III. The door closes with a bang.

"What really?" You hear distantly. From the voice, it must have been IV.

"I'll never get that out of my head." Says III muffled, he's obviously upset. Their footsteps move away hastily, leave you alone.

You look at Vessel and roll your eyes. "They act like children." You grin. Then you lean in and kiss him again.

[bringinghometherain]

I think the whole "I had to drop my phone...and go to Costa Rica for a while" thing is very likely because Rhys has been almost entirely a comedic side character in his work for like, 25 years. He's been earning his living being funny and awkward in front of a camera, which is a different subdivision of Hollywood from being attractive in front of a camera. He probably, as he got older, settled into that identity just fine. He likes being the funny guy, he feels fine about how he looks, he married a lovely woman and therefore didn't need to fixate on his appeal in the way that people who are dating need to (or feel they need to, rather).

Being Funny as an identity (especially for Rhys's generation of comics) often means you have written off the idea of being considered conventionally attractive. Not because you're not attractive! But because you start being funny when you're a kid to get people to like you, because you're kind of weird and awkward and you have bad skin and don't really fit into your body, and nobody will like you unless you have "being funny" to offer to the group.

Being Funny also means you're probably very good at redirecting conversation away from the parts of yourself you don't want people to see, you're very good at self-deprecating jokes, and you probably feel like you need to earn your space in most situations by Being Funny (ask me how I know). And when you're in your late 40s and quite settled into this identity, becoming an overnight sex symbol and having your social media feeds suddenly flooded with incredibly detailed artistic depictions of you as a sex symbol, I would guess that is extremely hard to wrap one's head around!!! It probably feels uncomfortable at first!! If your relationship with your body is "oh that old thing, don't worry it tells jokes," then having dozens of people drawing you as a tasteful nude has gotta be weird! I get it, and I sympathize. If I had something that big happening to my identity I might also go to Costa Rica for a bit (no I would not, I cannot afford that, I would probably go to Lake Michigan for like a day and call it even).

And as for why Taika and Con have been able to embrace the fanart from the start, well. Leslie Jones has already asked the important question of Taika: "Do you know you fine as hell?" And yeah, he absolutely does. And like he says, he knew it in high school too. And I say this because he went into entertainment, he probably wanted this at least a little bit, like come on. He's funny too, obviously, but he's always been hot, and he knows that. He didn't have to fall back on being funny because he was also Fine As Hell. Before OFMD was even an idea he'd already had all these photoshoots of him being a goofball in one shot and a Brooding Romantic Lead type in another. Dude knew his range well before the first sketch of Blackbeard in fishnets dropped. He was always gonna be fine.

And Con! Con has been a romantic interest several times in his tv/film career, from the very start. He's a side character pretty often, but the man has gotten plenty of feedback that he's attractive enough to be a romantic interest on a screen. Hell, just in 2020 he was a romantic lead on a podcast drama (which was a great story, he's great in it, very fun little horror drama). So while he may not have the same Fine As Hell and Knows It energy Taika has, Con probably came into OFMD more sure of his physical attractiveness than of his comedic acting skills. And when the Izzy fanart started dropping, he probably didn't have much trouble getting excited about it after the initial surprise, because he hadn't written off his physical attractiveness in the way Rhys probably had.

[joe-spookyy]

saw traps in order and whether or not i would survive them

saw iii

classroom trap - jesus fuck. i think i might just die here. like. i probably Could. but i don’t know if i would even have the willpower? like i feel like i would rather just explode. survivability 2/10.

angel trap - yeah i’m getting out of here. i’m no bitch, and i would dunk my hand in that jar real quick and speedy like, and then get right to work on the lock. i could hype myself up real quick, and honestly, i feel confident that i could shake off the acid and not even cause that much damage to my hand. survivability 9/10.

shotgun collar - i am not a doctor. so this is a little iffy. but i honestly feel like i might actually be able to pull this off without getting shot by that thing. i will manually make his heart beat beat. i’ll give that nasty old man mouth to mouth for as long as i have to, and then i’ll brush my teeth for seventeen minutes straight to get the taste out. i also think i could do a good enough diy lobotomy that the pressure on his brain would let up at least a little. i think with that he would survive long enough for jeff to get through his traps, but if that’s looking iffy, i have a backup plan. i’m seducing amanda and i’m going to get her to let me out of the collar. we’re most certainly getting yuriful in there just for fun no matter what, so i might as well weaponize it. backup plan three i also think i could take the collar off without detonating it. cant be that hard. i have a small head. also, i’m not letting amanda shoot me at the end because again, she would be in love with me by now. all things considered, survivability 8/10.

jeff’s box - yeah i’m breaking out of here no problemo. does this even count as a trap? i don’t really care. survivability 10/10.

the freezer room - i’m wiggling out of those chains even if i have to dislocate my wrists. but also i think i would be able to convince jeff to let me out a lot quicker. i’m pretty tolerant to the cold, and also my beautiful nude body would be so attractive to jeff that he would forgive me for not stopping his son from dying and set me free. survivability 8/10. as jeff, there’s no real threat to me here. i’m saving her and getting out just fine. survivability 10/10.

the pig vat - WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!! OH MY GOD. this shit is fucking foul. i just heated up my grilled cheese and this is what you show me. i mean obviously jeff chose kindness and let him out eventually but jesus. i’d probably kill myself afterwards out of disgust. survivability 7/10 (considering the suicide probability) but i would never eat meat again. as jeff i’m letting him out way quicker, having a little bit of a hard time putting my hand in the goop, but ultimately escaping with both of our lives. survivability 10/10.

the rack - OW! OW! OW! jesus FUCK! they are not playing with these nasty ass traps! i would not survive this. what the fuck. my head and limbs are so getting ripped off. fuck my stupid life. 0/10 survivability. as jeff i’m fine. lickety spit i’m pulling the key off with my head far out of the way. 9/10 survivability (just in case i somehow fumble and get shot.)

eric matthews bathroom trap - yeah he seemed to have an easy enough time of it and i’m way smarter than him. it was clearly way easier than the initial bathroom trap. and i wouldn’t beat up amanda or be a cunt about all of it because i’m niceys, so therefore she wouldn’t kick my stump leg and leave me to die. 8/10 survivability.

jeff’s final test: i’m nice so i would not kill him and thus would not be trapped to die. i would leave and call the police so they would arrest him. i’m not stupid. survivability 10/10.

overall film survivability considering 9 traps (but 12 individual people’s chances when put through said traps) 7.5/10. nasty ass movie and nasty ass traps but i’m built different.