#like yeah i finally have a friend again with who we can relate to each other and still not have it be any topic at all if we don't want to

[dyingnights]

my friend and i talked a lot after work, we sat in a park for over an hour and just talked and we talked a lot about weight and weight loss and we share a lot of our thought processes and i absolutely hate myself for it but its made me set my restriction limit even lower (500 again) because i feel like i have to lose it faster than she does. i have to get to my goal weight before she does

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[risuola]

CALL IT DOUBLE TROUBLE — F. READER x GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU, who have a habit of sharing everything

It’s been a while since you last saw your college ex-boyfriend Gojo and a Halloween party led to your reconnection. It was cool to see him again, although your break-up was messy. What turned out to be a plot twist, was that he now has a handsome best friend and together, they are deadly.

cw: smut, exes to lovers, strangers to lovers, threesome, double penetration, praise, cum play, oral (f & m receiving), su*cide is mentioned (no description, just brief mention), reader discretion is advised — 6k words

masterlist

a/n: with that post I'm concluding the kinktober - sorry about the delay! work overwhelmed me, it sucked the life out of me, but I'll be getting back to writing now, so stay tuned! also, we hit 1300 followers, so I just want to say thank you so much for being here and reading the shit I post!

You were never that big on parties – you found them mostly annoying with the masses pushing and pulling all around you, drunk assholes that never seem to understand how consent works and even more drunk girls, that throw themselves at anyone slightly attractive. At least that’s how you remember every party you were on during your college years. You experienced firsthand how much effort men can put into chasing a hem of a mini skirt and you also saw in real life, how women were flexing their assets just to get into the pants they want. Unfortunately, usually pants that were in the biggest demand, were coincidentally belonging to your boyfriend. Uh, yeah, maybe that’s why you don’t really like parties.

Dating Satoru Gojo was a blessing, in some parts – he was just lovely to you. He was caring, to some extent, he was sweet-talking you into everything he wanted, and his arrogance always seemed to fly right over your head, but you loved him for longer than he deserved. You trusted him to not sleep with those eagerly spreading girls and he never did. At least that’s what you like to believe. Flirting with them – that was a different story. Satoru was an attention whore, really. He was basking in the gazes glued to him, the salivating mouths were feeding his already enormous ego and he seemed to have the time of his life pulling the strings of those poor, naïve girls that every time believed him when he told them they are just so pretty. His crystalline blue eyes were capable of turning lesbians into straight and straights into gay. The number of suggestive pictures he posed for flooded your social media each time after the parties you attended with him, and not one of those pictures he’s ever taken with you. And then, after leaving the frat houses and clubs, he would tell you how lucky you are to have him, how all of those silly girls were offering him their pussies oh so eagerly. He’d tell you how they envied you. All while he’d fuck you. You spent two years with him, then came the break-up and just as everything that involved Satoru was messy – so was your parting.

You really had no pleasure in partying, after freeing yourself from the toxicity of Gojo, you finally found peace. You flew through college with ease and after it ended, you found yourself quite a nice job – you were okay without attending any kinds of alcohol and loud music related people gatherings. That’s until Shoko called you earlier that month, practically begging you to pay her a visit on Halloween. She was in the city, having her family house all to her disposal due to her family being on a trip somewhere warm. It was a party where all of your college, mutual friends were going to be, a little reconnection if you will and she insisted you show up as well. It really sounded lovely to see where all of your friends landed in lives. With some you still had a regular contact, but some just went their ways and you rarely crossed paths with them, so you agreed to be there. That was a perfect opportunity to catch up and you were excited.

For some unknown reason, not even once you considered Gojo to be there as well. You just kind of pushed the memory of him to the back of your head, you removed him from the picture of your mutual circle of friends and completely you forgot that he’ll most likely be there as well. You realized it when Shoko asked you about him.

“Have you seen Gojo already?”, her tone was quite cautious when she mentioned the name to you, and with the way you looked at her from above your dying cigarette, she spoke again, “You know he’s gonna be there as well, don’t you?”

“Guess I blacked out that possibility,” you mumbled, shrugging softly to shake off the uneasiness of the thought and killing the cig in the sink before throwing it away. “No, I haven’t seen him and I hope it will stay that way.”

“Oh, you’re still wounded after him?”

“No, Sho, I’m not wounded,” you grabbed yourself a red cup from the array on one of the tables in the kitchen. You had no idea what concoction of liquid courage was inside every each of them, but you really couldn’t care less. If that was one of your first parties in years, you were not going to be picky and you trusted Shoko enough to not have death in those cups. “I’m really not. Thing is… I don’t know, it’s been so many years, I’m not really sure what to even tell him. We broke up in a mess that wasn’t addressed ever since, so you know.”

“Yeah, right, I remember the insanity of that action. Gojo was haunting my dreams for two weeks after the suicidal stunt he pulled off.” Ieiri flinched at the memory but laughed right after realizing how stupid all of that was. “He was a drama queen, we have to give him that.”

“See?”

“Well, you’ll most likely see him anyway, so just a hi will be good.”

“Noted.”

She left you to greet someone, and you shook your head, hoping to get rid of the flashbacks, but they were inevitable, you guessed it. Long time after ending things with Gojo you couldn’t find peace after what happened. You think you will forever remember the argument that unraveled after you told him you’re breaking up with him. There was so much screaming, your head pounded with pain for two days straight after that. Nothing more than accusing of the most bizarre shits and poison was spilling from his mouth when, for the first time, Satoru Gojo was informed that someone else is leaving him. Usually, it was him who ended things up, it was him who was cutting the strings and he was too immature back then to come to terms that other people are also entitled to just go away. You remember he went completely feral, almost psychotic as he was laughing at some point, throwing ironic insults at you as if it was gonna make you stay. He had to prove a point that it’s not you who want to leave him. It’s him who want to break up and you just accidentally happened telling him that before he managed to do so. After that, he threatened you that he will kill himself and he made it everybody’s problem – you had to know it, Shoko had to know it and every single one of your friends had to know it as well. You heard from Ieiri that after about three weeks he got back to being his usual arrogant playboy, as if he didn’t just cause drama of the century. He moved on. Traumatized everyone around him, but moved on nonetheless. Now you found the situation kind of funny. You were just kids and you were not meant to be together. That’s just how life works and you wondered sometimes if Satoru learned a little more life after that or did he stay the same.

Sighing again, you took the cup and slipped in between people in the living room, stepping outside to breathe some fresh air on the terrace, thankful that no one was there. Or so you thought and no wonder you almost jumped out of your own skin when you heard a voice right next to you.

“Fire?” He asked, after a moment of watching you search for the lighter in the pockets of your makeshift schoolgirl uniform. The unlit cigarette in your mouth betraying what you were looking for.

His tone was soft, saccharine sweet and calm at the same time and as you looked up at him, it somewhat matched the picture that met your eyes. The man was tall and broad, dressed all in black with dress pants and a hoodie. His sleeves half up, exposing the veiny forearms as he was keeping his lighter visible, ready to give you a hand.

“Yes, please,” you replied finally, leaning into the fire he opened and with relief you take the first breath in. You were not a smoker in your day-to-day life. One pack of cigarettes lasted you a year, but it was Shoko’s influence that today made you poison your lungs more than usual. “Thanks.”

“I’m Suguru. Geto Suguru,” he introduced himself, offering you his palm and you gave it a short squeeze, telling him your own name. You couldn’t find his face in your memories, and you’d like to think that such handsome features would tattoo themselves into your brain in one way or another. He had to come with someone else, you figured. Probably a boyfriend or a husband even. You couldn’t care less about asking. “Enjoying the party?”

“I’m not big on parties, really,” you shrugged, keeping your gaze away from him because hell, he made it so easy to stare with his long luscious, black hair resting over his shoulders and back, half tied up in a little bun just to get them out of his face. You couldn’t tell what his costume was, he had some kind of alternative style going on, slightly rocker vibes with his pierced ears and silver chains hanging from his neck, but it might have as well be his usual style – he looked good in it. He most certainly looked like a big, red flag but hell was the flag attractive.

“I see. Well, I’m not either,” he confessed, huffing out a greyish cloud of smoke out of his lungs and by the smell of it, you could tell it wasn’t nicotine.

“What you’re smoking?”

“Weed, why? Wanna try it?” It was an offer that you should politely say no to, but it was your first and probably last party in a while, so you asked yourself why not and took the joint from his fingers.

“So, you’re here with someone?” you questioned, just to keep the conversation going once you gave him the smoke back. You could feel the unfamiliar but somehow pleasant burn in your lungs after the drag you took and slowly you blew the fume out. Suguru found the view attractive. Sharing a joint with you felt a little more intimate than it should have, the way your lips wrapped around the brownish paper made him wonder how would they look wrapped around something else. Thoughts like this shouldn’t bloom in his head right after he’s met you, not when he’s an adult man, not a stupid kid anymore, but some things couldn’t be stopped.

“Yeah,” he inhaled once more, deeply enough to kill the joint and throw it away. You watched for a moment how he kept the smoke in his lungs, letting it go after a moment. The cloud escaping through his mouth and nose in a soft stream. Fuck, what a gorgeous man. Whoever was the girl that got him had to be lucky. “You know him, he told me about you.”

Oh, never mind.

“He? Ah, fuck, don’t tell me you came here with that idiot,” you reached down for your cup that few moments prior you put on the ground while searching for a lighter.

“Ow, you’re hurting my feelings, sweetheart.”

And there he was. You wondered where that tower of an asshole hid.

Once you look back at Geto, there was also Satoru. He was standing next to his friend slash partner, with his forearm propped over Suguru’s shoulder as he looked at you from above the black glasses, with the very familiar grin painted on his face. Gojo changed a lot since you last saw him. He was now buffier, seemed even taller than you remembered, and his facial features matured – his jaw became more square, eyes a little more lidded and even the smirk on his lips seemed less playboy-ish and more menacingly manly. He lost his princess looks and became a man. You wondered if his character changed as well, because you could still see him using his looks to take what he wanted.

“Oh, do I?” You questioned, eyeing him up and down. His clothes were almost exactly the same as Geto’s – only difference being the light color and the fact his sweatshirt had no hood. What he was wearing completely contrasted to what his friend had on and it made sense if they were here together. Black and white, like yin and yang. You had no idea if they were here as friends or lovers, but either way, you wouldn’t be surprised.

“You sure do,” Satoru shook his head, his smile now more friendly as he approached you, entrapping you in a hug that surely took you by surprise. “It’s good to see you, beautiful.”

“You too,” you guessed, not completely convinced about what you just said but you let it be.

“I’m sorry. I have to say it before you run away from me. I’m really sorry, I was a dick when we were dating,” Gojo’s voice reached your ears directly, but you had a hard time believing what you were hearing. He was never a type to apologize for anything. Please, sorry and thank you is a set of words that you were certain he never used and yet there he was, saying just that. He really evolved. Or he wanted something.

“Yeah, you were. Hope you’re not anymore,” you chuckled softly, brushing your hand over his side.

“I try not to be,” he confessed quietly, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your neck before letting go of you. He shouldn’t have kiss you like that, but the feeling of longing was way stronger than him. Even if for a moment, he had to just have a little taste of you.

Ever since you broke up, Gojo had no idea how much he missed having you in his arms. Up until that night he was okay with some random girls coming into and getting out of his bed with no strings attached. He seemed to be unable to form a lasting relationship after you, you were his first and last girlfriend that he committed to for so long, no matter how poorly. Even if he was nothing but an asshole to you, he often wished to marry you back in the college. Even if he couldn’t possibly show you how much he cared, because his childish behaviors were standing in the way of him reaching your heart properly, he really thought you will be the one and only in his life and even if he seemed to move on so quickly after you broke up with him, it was only for show. A cover up for the thunderstorm that was raging inside his chest, a band aid over the bleeding wound. No other girl was able to even half-fill the emptiness you left in his heart.

You were special to him and it thrilled him to the core when for the first time he heard from Shoko that you agreed to be there, because if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t show up as well. His time for partying finished along with his fourth year of college, when he realized there was less and less fun in drinking alcohol and forcing himself into flirting. When it came to you, he had never needed to force himself to do anything. He was just an immature kid when you dated, but he loved the time you gave him.

And now, you were still fitting perfectly into his body. As if he was made from memory foam that still remembered your shape. Now, you were still just as beautiful and breathtaking as he remembered you. In your little, schoolgirl mini skirt, thigh-high socks and a white button up shirt with a loosened tie you looked way sexier than you had a reason to. It’s been quite some time since he was that aroused from just looking at someone and you made him harder than he thought is possible. Fuck, what you were doing to him?

“So, what do you do now? Still living from party to party and from girl to girl?” You asked, taking a sip of your drink. It was strong and it really was better for you to take it in slowly, but there was a certain burn of nervousness tied to meeting your ex that you needed to drown.

“No, it’s in the past,” Satoru replied, inviting you inside, where all three of you found a nice place to sit on one of the couches. You landed between the two men. “I took the lead of my father’s company, Suguru’s my partner in crime. We’re doing good, I don’t party anymore. Honestly, if Shoko didn’t give me a sign that you will be there, I wouldn’t probably step by.”

“Oh, so you came to haunt me,” you joked, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Yeah, kind of. Couldn’t reach you before and wanted to sort this whole mess out. I’m usually cool with having enemies, but you’re not someone I want to have as enemy.”

You gave his words a soft roll of your eyes. Maybe few years back you’d let yourself be sugarcoated into believing him, but not now. Maybe, just maybe, he matured a little, but some things will never change. Gojo was a flirt, is a flirt and probably will always be a flirt. But hell, was he cute. You cursed his innate ability to attract you from a mile.

“Sure, whatever,” you shrugged and the conversation after that was flowing nicely. You got to know Suguru, you learned who he is and why did he stick with Satoru. It was a friendship they developed that kept them together and maybe it was thanks to Geto that your ex wasn’t so much of an asshole anymore. Maybe it’s the brunette’s calm personality that somewhat grounded the playboy. Or maybe it was all an illusion. Yea, it had to be an illusion. There was no way that these two six-foot-three giants were not causing some troubles.

Yeah, they were a trouble. Double trouble, to be exact, and you got to learn that when the doors of one of many bedrooms on the floor closed behind you. You don’t even know how and why you agreed to go with them anywhere in the first place. You had no idea how on earth did Satoru sweet-talked you into fucking him again. For the old time’s sake, my ass. And more important, how did he sweet-talked you into fucking not only him, but also Suguru? At the same time?! You were not built for this, that’s for sure.

“Let’s have fun like we always did, yeah?” Gojo had this typical, shit-eating grin stretched on his face, when he was pulling you by the wrist onto the bed. Geto took his time and lit up another joint, opting to just stand and watch for now. He had a smirk on, his eyes were fixed on you, and you could tell that they weren’t new to sharing a woman. It really was obvious they did that before.

You had no time to think if that surprises you at all. Satoru was a stranger to patience. He never enjoyed waiting and always went straight for what he wanted, and this time was no exception.

“God, you look so fucking hot as a schoolgirl,” he muttered, burying his face into your neck, nibbing and kissing wet marks onto your skin whilst his fingers were already dealing with buttons of your white shirt. Your body acted on its own accord, responding to the red stains of his lips and the cold touch of his fingers with excitement that you felt for the last time when you were in college. It bothered you that you still were so receptive to the way he feels on you, you thought that you’re way over the Gojo effect but seems like you were gravelly wrong. “What a naughty one,” Satoru chuckled, his voice bordered a moan when he finally opened your shirt and your shapely tits, hugged beautifully by a lace bra entered his field of view. “Fuck, I missed those.”

“You’re talking too much,” you grabbed him by the hair, tugging the snow-white strands at the base of his neck and pushing his face down your neck and onto your chest, hoping it will shut him up. That was the issue with your ex. He really was a phenomenal lay but he was just talking so damn much. That was what ultimately pushed you over the edge when you were together back in the day. You just couldn’t stand listening about other women while he was with you.

“Maybe I am,” he chuckled, sucking a red spot onto one of your tits, earning himself another tug on the hair.

“Don’t mark me, idiot,” you warned him, but it was already too late and both of you knew it.

“My, my… so nervous. Let me help you relax,” Gojo smiled wide and made you lay flat on the bed. It took him no time to find his place between your thighs and before you even got a chance to react, he was already pulling your panties off of you. For a split second, your mind got distracted by the subtle scent of weed that’s filling the air. The smell that reminded you that it’s not only you and your ex in the room, but also another person.

“Don’t worry about me,” Geto smiled. Something mischievous lingered over his lips as he did before he took another drag. The joint between his fingers slowly but surely becoming smaller as he was saturating his lungs with the fumes, only to breathe them out after a moment.

“Are you not going to join?” You asked, your voice slightly breaking into a whine once Satoru flicked his tongue over your clit, reminding you how well he spoke the language of your body. He was fluent in your pleasure, you were never sure if it came to him with experience or was he just naturally gifted, but either way, he had a skill and was proud of it. He began eating you out like he was starving for the past decade. His tongue worked the puffy nub of nerves all the way around, he sucked and licked, slurped and kissed your cunt, causing your body to jolt in pleasure. He was purring while between your legs, his long fingers already working their way into your hole. The stretch was delicious, the symphony of his mouth and hands was slowly driving you insane.

“You’re so sweet,” Satoru mumbled, taking the pleasure away to smear some wet kisses along your inner thighs. “She’s so incredibly sweet, Suguru, you have to taste her,” he added, accentuating the thought with a bite onto the fat of your thigh. His friend just chuckled, making his way towards you and he handed you his half smoked joint.

“I’d love to,” Geto replaced your ex between your thighs. He kept looking into your eyes when he opened his mouth, presenting you with his pierced tongue. Little, metallic ball in the middle of the muscle glistened in the artificial lighting and it made you moan out loud, when he swiped it along your slit, gathering your juices. There was something absolutely intimidating about his calm demeanor, something nearly diabolic but it was exactly what attracted you to him. He was complete opposite to Satoru. He wasn’t bright and loud; his eyes weren’t big and vibrant. He looked mysterious, he kept himself quieter, his eyes kept the focus that Gojo couldn’t achieve. They really were made for each other.

“Oh god—,” your eyes nearly rolled back as he began working on your swollen clit ruthlessly. You had no idea if it was because of the piercing or was it just his skill, but it felt even better then when the snow-white was between your thighs. Or maybe it was just you being so turned on by him.

“You like it?”, your ex asked, grinning as he was taking the time to undress himself. “Knew you’re gonna enjoy it.”

You spared him the comment, losing the track of thoughts in the way Suguru was making you feel. You could have sworn you never felt something like this, he was just incredible with the way his tongue was engraving his own name into your clit. Cold metal of his piercing doubled down the pleasure you were receiving, contrasting with the heat of his muscle.

Your thighs began to tremble, your toes curled in, and you felt yourself quickly falling down the hole of ultimate lust. Euphoria was rushing through your veins; your heart was drumming in your chest as the smoke was leaving your lungs after the drag you took from the joint in your hand. Suguru was pushing you over the edge with such ease it felt illegal. You could feel him grinning proudly from his spot between your legs, you could feel his fingers gripping your hips with bruising strength, keeping them in place while he was slurping your soul straight from your weeping pussy.

Your orgasm exploded and you called out Suguru’s name. He didn’t stop. He kept drinking, thirsty for more of you as your juices coated his tongue and the bottom of his handsome face.

“You really do taste fucking sweet,” he commented, getting up and crawling above you. His lips were on yours the moment he reached your face. He tasted the smoke and you tasted yourself in that kiss. It didn’t last long, but the intensity of it made you almost dizzy. “Let’s get you out of this uniform.”

 It took just few moments until you were completely bare underneath the heavy gaze of two men around you. Satoru was just in his underwear, the tent in them painfully apparent and you knew him well enough that he won’t be able to wait much longer, but what bothered you was the fact that Suguru was still completely clothed. He looked sexy in his dark outfit, but he can look sexy in it later.

“Aren’t you a tease—” you muttered, once he got up from the bed to drown the rest of the joint in what little of alcohol was left in one of your cups on the bedside table. “Take this off.” You demanded, coming up to your knees and pushing his hoodie up.

“How demanding,” he laughed but complied and you managed to just blink twice before his god-like figure presented itself to you. A muscular, large body beautifully decorated with a dragon tattoo that wrapped its tail around his right bicep and spread on his back. You couldn’t decide what to focus on – his impressive musculature, the ink on his skin or the fact that even though he still had his pants on, you could already feel yourself salivating.

Satoru was right behind you, swiping the angry tip of his cock up and down your folds, gathering your slick and making you shiver from the touch. He then pushed his girth into you, stretching you impossibly and pulling a quiet, whiny fuck straight out of your throat. It’s been a while since you’ve been having sex with anyone, not to say anyone with that size, but you couldn’t deny that the burn was delicious. It set all your senses on fire, the heatwave washed over you and once Gojo went with the first thrust, it reminded you how much you missed the physical act of intimacy with him.

“Can’t focus, pretty girl?”, Suguru brought your attention back to himself. His long fingers gently gathered all of your hair into a messy ponytail, and you got the hint immediately. As on cue, you unbuckled his pants, pushing them down almost too eagerly. “Good girl.”

The praise in his tone got you weak, you were already becoming a mess from how perfectly Satoru was fucking you right now, pounding his hips against yours in the mind-numbing manner. His cock hitting all of the sweet spots inside of you with each long stroke and that was enough to make you almost incapable of thinking straight, but your hands and mouth acted on its own.

Geto watched how your lips wrapped around his dick. The sight of you taking him into your mouth with such hunger was something he wanted to engrave onto his brain and if the picture was amazing, then there was no word to describe the feeling itself. Your soft, plush lips felt divine brushing along his sensitive shaft, your tongue dancing around his length made him almost lose his composure. You were a sight. And you made him feel so good, he could feel himself twitching in the hot, wet embrace of your mouth. You were sucking him as if your life was depending on it, as if it was your last supper and you wanted to devour it and every time his plump tip hit the back of your throat, he could feel you taking control over him.

“Isn’t she amazing?”, Gojo mumbled from behind you. His grip remained iron on your hips, the bruising force being the only thing that was grounding you now. You could feel yourself clenching around him, your juices were running down your thighs and the wet sounds of skin slapping against each other were filling the room.

“Oh, she is,” Geto confirmed, applying some force onto your head. The tug on your hair was enough to send you overboard and the vibration of your throat once you moaned were enough for him as well. You couldn’t tell who came first, and frankly, you couldn’t care less about it, as long as it felt so damn good.

“I, fuck— I told you,” Satoru panted out. His hips moved slower as he was sloppily riding the high out. You licked the cock in front of you clean, satisfied with the first course but hungry for more.

You shouldn’t allow all of this to happen. There was not a single argument that could justify everything that was happening right now – you shouldn’t sneak out to god-knows-whose room in your friend’s house and you absolutely shouldn’t sneak out there with not only your ex-boyfriend but also his friend. You couldn’t even remember how you agreed to that. Why have you agreed to that? You had no idea. Was it to talk?

You wouldn’t exactly call the way your body was being stuffed full by two cocks at the same time talking. You were squeezing Suguru’s shoulders as he was thrusting his hips up against yours. His body below you, laying flat on the bed made for a canvas for your nails to leave marks, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He was kissing you with a mixture of passion and laziness, a smirk stayed prominent on his lips as he was swallowing your moans. The subtle taste of weed in his mouth got you wanting more of him. He felt perfect in every way, his movements were setting your nervous system on fire as the heat was spreading over your entire body, radiating from your core. You could feel Satoru’s fingers teasing your clit, you could feel his lips smearing wet trails along your spine. The way his hips were moving seemed to be perfectly in sync with the brunette.

You were so full of them, you never felt something like this before. The initial pain you felt when Gojo pushed his girth into your asshole was long gone now as he was pounding into you in complete unison with how Geto was moving. The sensation of being so incredibly full turned your brain into a heated mush, your body was trembling between them, electrocuted time after time with a sharp waves of white pleasure. Your vision was blurry, the stars covered most of it. You could no longer tell whose hands were where and your thighs were wet and sticky from all the seed that was being pumped into you, gushing out with every piston of their hips.

“You’re so perfect for us,” someone told you. A low, rasped out voice resounded right next to your ear, followed by a harsh bite onto your shoulder and the sudden wave of new pain that radiated from it pushed you over the edge. You were speeding, falling with no parachute. You couldn’t breathe for a moment as the climax was overtaking you. “Such a good girl, you’re making so much mess.”

“Oh god,” you whimpered, gasping for air as their thrusts picked a pace. You couldn’t form any coherent sentence as they were fucking the soul out of your body. Right after you came, they both came as well. Their cum coated your insides and leaked onto your thighs, dripping down as they pumped into you some more.

Gojo was first to pull out, spreading your cheeks and admiring how his white overflown your hole. The menacing grin spread across his face as he gripped your hips and lifted you off Suguru’s cock. The long-haired man sat up as you, led by your ex’s hands turned to straddle Geto’s lap. Your back was facing his chest as he pulled you back onto his shaft. All of his length sank right into your ass, pulling a moan right from your chest.

“Look at you, so gorgeous,” Satoru was in front of you, admiring for a moment your bouncing figure before his long fingers slipped into your cunt, curling in a way that got him pressing onto your oversensitive sweet spots. “Open your mouth for me.”

You barely registered his words, but your jaw dropped nonetheless. His cum coated digits slid right through your lips and you sucked on them, twirling your tongue around and tasting the mixture of your juices and their seeds. Suguru’s hands were kneading your breasts as his friend was playing with the mess between your thighs.

There was something deeply erotic in a way the white-haired man kept your gaze up. How he looked right into your eyes while you were being fucked by his best friend, how he enjoyed the way you gave them your body to play however they wanted. And it felt even more erotic when Satoru licked the lone drop of cum that escaped the corner of your mouth only to kiss you right after.

Geto was still slamming his pelvis up and you got stuck in the realm of pleasure, hanging somewhere between the movements of the cock in your ass and the lips over your own. You could feel your thighs trembling. Your body, still oversensitive from the last orgasm and yet, already entering the state of another. The wave of lustful relief now flowing dangerously close to your core, the knot in your stomach holding just barely and you squeezed Satoru’s hair, tugging at them harshly. You were struggling to breathe through the heavy kiss he was laying on your lips, but the sensation of it rendered you unable to fight it.

And then it hit you once again. The man below you filled you to the brim, tearing down the last bits of composure you had and your world shattered once the final climax. You felt as if the lust and desire were steaming off of all three of you. The breaths were mixed and the tastes concocted. As all three of you fell onto the bed, blissfully satisfied, you began to slowly regain your mind to the sound of a soft chuckle from your left side. Satoru. He had a habit of laughing when he was fulfilled – a sign of his happiness, the state nearing high. There was some gratefulness in it as well.

“How are you feeling?”, the question came from the right side, where Suguru seemed to already plan how to take care of the entire mess. He kissed your shoulder softly.

“Good,” you replied to him, watching as he gathered himself up from the bed.

“You rest a little bit longer; I’ll go get washed first and then you two.”

[the-sheep]

Is Starscream now a part of the Malto Family? If so how did the rest of the family react? I think Hashtag is happy and will probably call Starscream "Uncle Star" or something

oh gosh i was joking when i mentioned being an ask blog. my curse continues, so i must answer

Pretty much all i draw/write of ES starscream is part of my "fast track to redemption" au! (title not final) Most easily seen in the fics I've written.

Rather than ignore season 2 entirely, I like the fandom notion that the quintessons perhaps attempted to get Starscream to do their dirty work by taking control of the titan AND killing all the other bots. Since. Well Starscream really needed a Starscream to tell him his plan was absolute dogshit. His plan benefits the Quintessons more than it does the Decepticons.

And i personally believe that ES Starscream would never kill a child, let alone two.

Starting with just a little bit of influence to kickstart things, to more and more interference with all of his systems in order to get him to do what is required, only for him to fail and be made useless to the quints. He snaps out of a haze where he's barely in control of his own body and can barely even comprehend what's happening, dropped back into consciousness hard enough to shatter his spinal strut.

Anyway I made it so that gave him brain damage.

Once everything is over and they do a quick little scan of his body for damage or weapons, discoveries are made.

To extra super fast track my favorite setting of "everyone is kinda friends and casually near each other", i needed to essentially declaw Starscream. Without the mind control he's still an asshole who will try and destroy everyone's trust in him as often as possible, which without external assurance that he's genuinely not a threat, would make all the adults keep him in jail for years.

AND i think he wouldn't even stay at the autobot base if he didnt have to rely on them.

Yeah thats about the minimum i think it would take for starscream to mayyyybe admit weakness. The quintessons gave him a tummyache :(

Thus, we got ourselves a seeker wandering the base within months.

and then we have someone much more willing to confront the sadder feelings Hashtag has about so many things. And relates on the mind control front, since she isn't very close with Grimlock.

They connected, if only for a moment. by primus they'll connect again. he's adopting her if its the last thing he'll do.

and then hes made fun of for adopting 7-9 teens because hes being a stereotypical nesting seeker.

this gives me the setting to do what i wish.

[nocturnalcharm]

A Change in Attitude (Wolverine x Fem!Reader)

𐙚 prompt: everyone knows logan as the gruff man with a grumpy demeanor. but that changes when you’re around 𐙚 cw: sexually suggestive themes (no smut), kinda innocent!reader, dirty minded!logan (heheh i couldn’t resist), can’t think of anything else 𐙚 a/n: thanks for the req! <33 only proofread once bc i was so excited to post hehe

18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.

“I’m so glad you accepted my invitation. Well, Charles’ invitation.” Hank was beaming, giving you a tight hug.

“Me too! Being a research assistant isn’t as fun as being an X-Men.” You gushed.

You and Hank had been friends for years, meeting when you were just kids. Your powers developed around the same time, making you lean on each other, since no one else could relate. Recently, he and Charles asked you to join the team, and you excitedly accepted. Who would turn down an opportunity like this?

You didn’t know much about the others, just what Hank told you, which was really just their names and powers, not their personality.

You walked into the building, taking a deep breath and accepting that this would be your life from here on out.

“Everyone’s in Charles’ office.” Hank made you aware. You nodded as he led you there.

Walking inside the office, you saw everyone for the first time. Colossus, Storm, Gambit, Cyclops… and Wolverine.

Logan was looking out the window, not paying attention to anything, while everyone else was thrilled to have a new team member.

“Ah, welcome, (Y/N)!” Charles greeted you. He introduced himself, as if you didn’t already know who he was. He went around the room and also introduced all the X-Men. When he said Logan’s name, he finally looked at you, and your stomach made you feel like you were on a rollercoaster just from his eye contact.

“I was thinking, we could all go out back and give a short demonstration of our powers. Does that sound alright to you?” Charles was so polite.

“Yes, that sounds perfect, Professor.” You smiled brightly.

As everyone shuffled their way to the yard, you caught Logan’s eye again. His frown and furrowed brow faded as he watched you walk outside, staring at you. You blushed, hiding your smile by turning away.

Once outside, everyone spread apart and prepared to show you their powers. They each did a speedy presentation, just showing you what they can do, or explaining their abilities. You cheered for everyone, wowed by what they could do! Yet again, Logan went last.

He stepped forward. “I have regenerative abilities. Oh, and these.” In a flash, he unsheathed his metal claws.

It took your breath away for a moment. “Nice! Very impressive.”

He nodded in thanks, returning to his original spot.

“Your turn, (Y/N).” Hank tapped your shoulder.

“Oh, yeah. Um.. My ability is bioluminescence. My hair glows on command, and I can create and throw light. It’s kinda similar to a ball of fire.” You placed your hands together, generating a small ball of light, before throwing it at a target in the yard, hitting a bullseye. The light ripped right through the fabric mark.

You got a few “oo’s” and “ahh’s” from the others, and from some of the students passing by.

“So that’s why your hair is blue! It’s so pretty.” Ororo ran over to you.

“Thanks! I like your hair too.” You smiled at her. You glanced at Logan to see his reaction, and he was already staring at you (again), with a smirk on his face.

“Amazing! So, (Y/N), tomorrow I want you to focus on combat training. While your ability is powerful, you might not always be able to rely on it. So, Logan will train you one-on-one, since he’s our best fighter. I want to see you two together at 8am in the training facility.”

“Yes sir.” You bowed your head in understanding.

The other X-Men dispersed, besides Hank and Logan.

“C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” Logan walks over to you.

“Uh-” Before you could answer, Hank interjected.

“I’ve got it, Logan.” He replied.

“We’re gonna be training together anyway, might as well show her around. Get to know her.”

“Since when do you ‘get to know’ anyone?”

“Since now. Beat it, bub.”

Hank muttered a quick “I’ll catch up with you later.” And left you to the Wolverine himself.

Logan took you on a tour of the mansion, showing you just about every room. You had already forgotten where everything was by the end of it, besides the more important rooms. Throughout the tour, Logan was joking around with you, which you thought was strange. Not in a bad way! Just from his demeanor, you didn’t expect him to be the joking type, but you suppose you read him wrong when you first met. He was cracking you up throughout the entire tour.

Lastly, he led you down a long hallway. “The bathroom’s right here. It’s shared, so lock the door.” He winked. “And this is your room.” It was the last one on the right.

“Where’s your room?” You asked, and he pointed to the door right across from yours. “Oh! Convenient.” You laughed, thinking since you two were paired together, it was funny your rooms were next to each others; You didn’t even realize how it could come across as suggestive. He hid his smug grin.

You walked inside. The room was perfect for you. A nice bed, a closet, wardrobe, mirror, and a big window. There was also a small TV mounted to the wall. It’s all you could have asked for.

“Thanks for the tour!” You said as you walked over to your bags. Assuming Logan would leave you be, you started to unpack.

You pulled out the first packing cube in your suitcase, which just so happened to be filled with your underwear. You opened the wardrobe drawer and started to put away your panties.

“Y’need help unpacking?” You heard Logan’s gruff voice right behind you, making you jump.

“I-” You put your hands behind your back, hiding your underwear. “No, thank you.” A rose tint made its way to your cheeks.

“It’s nothin’ to be embarrassed of. We all wear underwear. You just happen to wear panties with little pink bows on them.” He winked at you.

“Oh my God.” You whisper, “I-I’m good. Thank you, Logan.” You usher him to the door.

“You sure? No matching bra I can help you put away?” He jested.

“Nope! No thank you! I’ll see you tomorrow!” You ushered him out, shutting the door, putting your back against it, and sighing.

Once you had most of your clothes put away, it was already 10pm. You didn’t eat dinner, since you felt too awkward to face Logan after the event that took place earlier. You just decided to take a quick shower, then head to bed.

You grabbed your essentials and went to the bathroom. The halls were quiet and dark, letting you know everyone else was likely already asleep. You showered quickly, wanting to rest up since you had combat training in the morning. Rushing through your routine, you were done in about fifteen minutes.

As you wrapped your towel around your body, you realized you forgot to bring your pajamas into the bathroom.

You groaned in frustration, but assumed it was fine since everyone was already away in their rooms. You grabbed your things and decided to make a run for it. Your room wasn’t too far from the bathroom. You unlocked the door, swinging it open and running— before knocking into something so hard, it made you fall backwards.

“Huh?” You hear a rough voice grunt out. Logan.

Of course it’s him.

You quickly repositioned your towel to cover yourself, while he turned around, confused. Looking down at you, he laughed.

“Are you okay?”

“I forgot my clothes…” You ignored his question, and completely forgot to ask why he’s standing in the middle of the hallway at night.. He offered his hand and you accepted, pulling you up like you weighed nothing. It was impressive. He leaned down, grabbing your shampoo and such for you, while you scurried off to your room. He followed right behind you.

“Sorry.” You apologize, as he sets your things on your dresser.

“Are you okay?” He asked again.

“Mhm, I’m fine. Thank you.”

You two stood there, for what felt like forever, staring at each other, only illuminated by the moonlight shining through your open window. You could use your powers right now, to glow, and light up the room, but you weren’t sure you wanted him to see you in a towel.

“I’m gonna get dressed now.” You break the silence.

“Oh, yeah. Goodnight, (Y/N).” He looked pleased.

“Goodnight, Logan.”

***

You’ve been tossing and turning in your bed for hours, with it now being 1am. You didn’t know why you couldn’t sleep; a new place, the thought of spending alone time with Logan in a few short hours, or the fact that your stomach pinged in pain from not eating dinner.

After wrestling with your thoughts, you decided to go downstairs to the kitchen and get a snack. Just a quick one, to settle your stomach.

You slipped out of your room and headed straight for the pantry. There were dried berries, nuts, jerky; lots of healthy options. You grabbed a small package of trail mix and sat at the bar, tearing it open immediately.

Lost in your snack, you didn’t even see Logan enter the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” His voice startled you, making you yelp in fear. “Wasn’t trying to scare you, doll.” He laughed.

The nickname made your stomach flip. “I didn’t eat dinner, and I couldn’t go to bed.”

“S’alright. Just messing with you. But you should be sleeping. How else are you gonna take me tomorrow?”

“You mean ‘take you on’?” You emphasized.

“Yeah. Sure... Cute PJ’s.”

You looked down at your clothes; an oversized t-shirt and red plaid shorts. “Ha ha. Thanks.” You responded, sarcastically.

“C’mon, you can finish your snack in your room. You need to sleep.” He helped you up from the stool and walked you to your bedroom.

Once he turned around to go to his own bed, you said “Goodnight, Lo.” Giving him a nickname, since he gave you one.

He stopped in his tracks, and turned around. The smile on his face was something you could stare at forever.

“Goodnight, doll.”

***

The alarm on your phone woke you up, after the few short hours you slept. You dragged yourself out of bed and slipped on a tank top and Nike shorts. Then, you went to the bathroom; brushed your hair, teeth and freshened up before heading to breakfast.

Once you entered the kitchen, there was a lot of people— X-Men, teachers, and students alike. Only the X-Men, who were grouped at a table in the corner, noticed your appearance. Ororo waved you over, so you swiftly grabbed something to eat, and sat down next to her.

“G’morning!” You said, cheerfully, trying to hide your sleepiness.

They all greeted you back.

“How’d you sleep?” Ororo asked, making you glance towards Logan, who was trying to hide his laughter.

“Eh. I couldn’t really.” You shrugged. “Just nerves, I guess.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s terrible, especially since you have to train with Claws over there. He doesn't really take it easy on anyone.” She jokes.

“Don’t worry. I’ll loosen up, just for today.” He had a satirical tone in his voice.

“Aw! Claws has got a heart today, huh!” Ororo laughed.

“Just for (Y/N).” He stood up, taking his now-empty plate over to the sink. You ate quickly, wanting to get a start on your day. Logan noticed your clear bowl, which a few moments ago was inhabited by fruit.

“Let’s go! We’ve got a lot to work on.” His tone was dramatic, teasing.

“Okay, Lo. I’m coming.” You stood from your seat.

Everyone looked at you like you had just sprouted another limb from your forehead.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Hank replied hastily, “Have fun.”

“C’mon.” Logan wrapped an arm around your shoulders in order to hurry you out the door faster.

Walking down the endless hallways of the mansion, you two finally reached the training facility. It was a huge, open room with a tumbling mat covering the floor. On one of the walls was a huge window, looking into a room with stadium seating— no doubt to have students watch and learn.

He started you out with conditioning; jumping jacks, running laps, planking, and everything else you could think of. You had already broken into a sweat after 10 minutes due to his intense regimen.

He continued his teachings, showing you how to throw a proper punch (which he made you test out on his stomach), evading attacks, and good footwork.

“You’re pretty agile. Do you have any background in fighting? Or acrobatics?”

“Yeah, I did gymnastics for 14 years. I’d hope by now I’d be pretty nimble.” You laughed, and he had a look of awe on his face.

Hours later, you were finally putting his teachings into use.

“We’re gonna spar now. I’m not going hit you, but you’re going to really hit me. Okay?”

You looked worried, and your eyes dropped to the ground. “Uh, I don’t know—”

“Hey.” He brought your attention back up to his face. “Regenerative healing. Metal skeleton. You can’t hurt me with your fists or feet. I promise.”

You just nodded.

“So, again. Come at me with everything you got. If you manage to knock me out of the ring, you win. If I pin you down, I win. We’ll stop training for today after this.”

“Okay.” Your voice wavered.

You two walk over to the mat with a big, white circle on it, and stand on opposite sides.

“Ready?” He cocks his head with the faintest smirk on his face, knowing you had just about no chance of winning. Of course you were unaware of that.

“Mhm!”

“Set. Go!”

He immediately runs at you, and the first thing you can think of is to kick his side. You raised your leg, and struck his ribs as hard as you could.

Quickly, so quick you didn’t understand what was happening, he grabbed your leg and pulled, sweeping your legs out from under you. You landed on the ground with a thud. It shocked you, unable to think for a moment.

But that moment was all it took for Logan to pin you to the ground, straddling your stomach. You tried to wiggle your way free, pushing his body with all your might, but it was no use. You were immobile.

You tapped his shoulder, signaling your loss. He got up and extended a hand to help you.

“I thought you said you were gonna go easy on me.” You fake-pouted.

“Oh, c’mon doll.” He grinned, “You did good. We’ll keep working on training tomorrow, okay? Same time.”

You nodded, right as you heard the doors behind you open to show Hank.

“Hey, (Y/N). Do you wanna eat dinner with me?”

“Ah, yes!” You jumped with enthusiasm. “We have some catching up to do.”

“Cool. Is she good to go?”

“Yeah, fine. Good work today.”

“Thanks, Lo!” You ran off with Hank, needing to shower and get ready.

***

“So, how’d today go?” He asked, taking a bite of his food. He ended up taking you to a really nice restaurant to congratulate you on your first day.

“So good! I feel like Lo taught me a lot, honestly.”

“Before I forget, did Logan ask you to call him ‘Lo’?”

“Uh.. no? Why?” You worried.

“It’s just… Logan is really friendly with anyone. He doesn’t do jokes or nicknames. It’s a little shocking you called him ‘Lo’ and his claws didn’t immediately come out.” He laughed.

His words left you even more confused. Hates joking around and nicknames? That’s the opposite of how he acts around you.

“But, he plays around with me? And he called me a nickname first. I thought he was okay with it.” You were nervous that the nickname you’d given him had somehow upset him…

“Yeah, that’s why it’s so.. out of the norm. Maybe he’s got a crush on you.” Hank’s voice dripped in mischief.

“No, that’s definitely not it. Lo’s just—” You corrected yourself. “Logan’s just like that with everyone. He doesn’t have a crush on me.” You couldn’t, didn’t, believe that someone like Logan, The Wolverine, would like you.

Hank chuckled, “(Y/N), I’ve known him for years. He isn’t like that with anyone.”

There was silence as he continued to eat, but you just sat there, butterflies in your stomach, unable to think.

“What did he call you? The nickname?” He asked, casually.

“Doll.” You mumbled, barely audible, embarrassed.

He nearly choked on his food, “And you think he doesn’t like you?”

“No…I think he was just being nice.” You responded, genuinely.

“Yeah... Okay.”

You finished your dinner with Hank, changing the subject and ignoring talking about Logan altogether, and just catching up with each other. You indulged in a few drinks, which was probably a mistake. You were not really a drinker, and definitely a lightweight, leaving you more than tipsy as you left for the mansion. It was late when you finally arrived, and most everyone was asleep.

You two both headed for your rooms. You quickly changed into another oversized tee and crawled into bed. But just like the night before, you couldn’t sleep. This time, for a different reason. It was definitely the alcohol talking but you needed to talk to Logan.

You threw on a pair of shorts and snuck out of your room. His door was closed, so you knocked. With no response, you quietly turned his doorknob. Once open, you saw him, asleep. His messy hair, in combination with his bare torso being exposed, made you feel sick.

In a good way…

In the best way…

You tiptoed over and shook his shoulder. “Logan. Wake up.”

He didn’t budge. “Looogaaann!” You whisper-shouted, and immediately you heard metal unsheathing.

His eyes flew open, “(Y/N)!” His claws retracted. “What are you doing? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” His panicked state made him stutter out his words.

“Shh! You’re so loud. You’re gonna wake up the whole neighborhood. M’fine.”

“Are- Are you drunk?” He rubbed his eyes in confusion.

“Hehe.. Maybe. I needed to talk to you, though.”

“What’s wrong, doll?” He scooted over and patted the edge of his bed, wanting you to sit. You followed his order.

“Nothin’. Do you not want me to call you ‘Lo’?” Your words slurred.

“What? No, I like it.” He grinned but his brows were still furrowed in perplexity. “Why do you ask?”

“Hank said you don’t like nicknames. Or jokes! But we joke!”

“Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“He said you have a crush on me.”

He held his breath, “Okay, maybe he does know what he’s talking about.”

“Y-You like me?” You hiccuped.

“Of course. How could I not?”

“I like you, too.” You whispered, almost scared of him hearing you.

“You do? Not just because you're drunk?” He quipped, pushing your hair over your shoulder and exposing your neck.

“Definitely not just because I’m drunk.”

You made your hair glow, wanting to see his face more clearly; wanting to study his expression, and never forget this moment with him.

[humanitys-strongest-brat]

Shoelaces

Summary: After three weeks apart, Hange plans a get together with the gang.

Pairing: LevixFem!reader

CW: This one shot heavily revolves around the use of alcohol. mentions of smoking and related language. 18+ MDNI.

wc: 3.5k

a/n: First, I'd like to thank @tobbi-loves-levi She has been here to hold my hand through all the sweat and tears of writing my first Levi fic, I truly cannot express how much I appreciate the help and advice I was given. If you do like this, please send some love her way. This cute lil fic is loosely based off of this song, and the scenes were living in my head rent free for weeks prior to writing it, enjoy~

“Took you long enough.” Erwin teases as you hop into the passenger seat, He texted you fifteen minutes ago letting you know he was out front waiting for you. 

“Don't be dramatic, it was only ten minutes.” you huff, pulling the seat belt over your chest and clicking it into place. Erwin gave you a once over, his gaze halting before turning back and shifting the car into drive. 

“You did your hair for this?” he comments, raising an eyebrow. Doing your hair was a generous observation on his part, you just spent extra time on it for tonight. 

“Yeah, and what's that look for? We haven't been able to get together like this in so long, so I wanted to look a little nice.” It's been three weeks since the five of you could all hang out together. Miche got a new job and Hange had a change in shifts, making it nearly impossible to do something collectively. It just so happens that everyone has the day off tomorrow, so Hange suggested getting together to drink and catch up.

 “It's just us, you never cared like that before. Besides, if this is like any other time your hair’s gonna look like shit by the end of the night anyways. Like that time Miche set your hair on fire lighting that cig for you.” He laughs. You cringe and brush your fingers through your hair in the same area that was singed short, only just recently were you able to make it look like it blends in with the rest of your hair. “Or, that time Hange-” Erwin starts but you quickly interrupt. 

“Okay! I get it, I'm accident prone.” you mumble, giving him a playful glare. “Both of those are better than the time me and Levi had to drag you out to the car which, by the way, wasn't fun.” you smirk, watching his dumbfounded expression illuminate under each street light you pass under

 “Like that compares at all, it was one time, and my birthday” Erwin retorts and gives you a gentle nudge. You shrug in response, looking out the window to see you're already turning down the street that leads to the house that Levi, Hange, and Miche share. “We’re late again, you know how much shit we’re going to get?” 

 ***

“Finally!” Hange raves when you walk in with Erwin. You make your way in and take your bottle of contribution to the cooler that was already set up in the living room, stuffing it in and shutting the lid. Almost instantly after, you were met with a fierce hug from Hange. “Late, as always. What was the hold up? Anything interesting?” They beamed, their eyes gesturing hopefully towards Ewrin. You parted from Hange’s hug, shaking your head at their silent accusation. This wasn’t new for the two of you. For as long as you could remember, you both have been teased about your friendship. Everyone constantly begged for you two to finally get together. Erwin is your best friend, and has been for years. The thought has never crossed your mind. The only person who understands that is Levi, he's the only one who never pokes and prods for something more. 

“Thought I heard the lovebirds were finally here.” Miche announced as he emerged from his bedroom. He makes his way into the living room and grabs two beers out of the cooler and tosses one to Erwin as he walks past him. “Catch up” Miche enthusiastically demands, cracking the tab on his can and raising it up to Erwin in a faux cheers. 

“You guys really started without us?” Erwin groans followed by the sharp hiss and snap of his own can. 

“What, were we supposed to wait for the two of you to stop sucking face in the car?” Miche laughs and gestures to you and Erwin both. Erwin rolls his eyes but just as he was about to respond the whole room collectively flinched at the sudden piercing interruption of music that gradually dimmed down to an appropriate volume. All eyes fall on Levi who’s standing in front of the speaker with his phone in his hand. 

“Cleaning playlist, forgot to turn it down earlier.” He explains candidly and takes a swig from the cup in his opposite hand, seemingly unapologetic for the disturbance. 

“Jesus, Levi. When did you get out here?” Miche groans, rubbing his ear melodramatically. Levi ignores him, instead he turns to face the group. “Didn't realize this party was about celebrating Erwin sucking face. I would have stayed in my room had I known.”

 “No one’s staying in their room!” Hange chimes as they make their way to Levi “it’s been three weeks, we should do something fun!” they place their hands on Levi’s shoulders and grin “like a drinking game.” they suggest, approval spreads across the room. 

“Pass.” Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes like he was above the activity. “Looks like you're outvoted.” Hange sings, squeezing Levi’s shoulders and quickly moving to drag the coffee table away from the couch for everyone to sit around. Miche was already on his way in with the bottle and a shot glass.

“Fine. I’ll play but I'm not sharing that shot glass with any of you, I’ll get my own.” he sighs, heading straight for the kitchen. Hange cheers and grabs chasers out of the cooler, lining them around the circular table as everyone settles into their chosen spots. Levi returned shortly after with his own shot glass, you notice a clean rag hanging out of his pocket as he sits in the space left open for him. Miche chooses the game for the group, the rules are simple and easy to follow. It doesn't take long, just a few rounds in and everyone around the table seems to have a pink flush across their cheeks, slurring their words, and laughs at anything anyone says.

***

“Damn!” Hange rasps out with a cough, slamming the shot glass back down onto the table. At this point in the game Hange was doing horribly, the last 3 rounds of the game they were the one to take the losing shot. They pick up the bottle and shakily attempt to fill the glass up for the next victim. Liquid splashes around the glass as they miss a couple times. 

“Okay,” Erwin says and takes the bottle from them “I’ll fill them from now on.” He adds. “it’d be nice if someone else could start taking the shots!” Hange complained, folding their arms over their chest. 

“That’s entirely on you, Hange.” Erwin pointed out as he finished pouring for them. His hand was stable despite being just as drunk as anyone else at the table, he was always the one who handled the liquor best. 

“Stop losing and you won’t have to take any more.” You laugh and watch Levi lean forward, pick up the glass, and quickly wipe underneath with the rag he’d brought to the circle. Even tipsy he was concerned about keeping things at least a little clean. 

 The next round, Hange takes the losing shot again. “of course!” They spout, taking the bottle from Erwin’s side, forgetting that he was in charge of filling the glass after each shot. Before he could register that Hange had taken the bottle, they were attempting to fill the glass again. With shaky hands Hange tips the bottle too far, causing the rim of the bottle to clash with the shot glass, tipping it over. The jolt alone was enough to cause them to drop the bottle as well. You watch as it rolls off the table, its contents spilling out. 

“Come on, Hange.” Levi groans as he lunges forward. He fails to catch the bottle, forced to watch it spill out and seep into the rug. “Games over.” He announces, immediately going back in with the rag. Levi sets the bottle back upright on the table and Miche gathers up the remnants of their game, wiping the liquor off the cards as he organizes everything back into the box. 

You thread your fingers between Hange’s after they stand up. “Kitchen, Hange.” You sang, guiding them out of the living room. Despite their protests, you decided you both need a water break. You let go of Hange’s hand, and they lean against the counter to the right of the fridge. You grab two glasses from the overhead cabinets and pull the ice tray out of the freezer. “Sooo,” Hange coos as you as you cracked the tray, haphazardly dropping ice into both cups. 

“Yesss,” you mimic back in the same tone, opening the fridge. 

Hange pushes off the counter and leans over the open door “Erwin looks cute tonight, huh?” They try, grinning. 

“Not this again,” you laugh at them and set the first filled cup on the counter behind you. 

“Give me a break!” Hange groans, dropping their head onto their forearms. “You always avoid talking about it, when will you guys give up the act?” You look towards them and your attention is immediately drawn to Levi, who is discarding an arms worth of cans onto the counter. He kneels down in front of the sink and starts digging through the cabinets underneath. 

“It’s not like that, and it never has been.” 

“bullshit, there’s got to be a reason you haven’t just gone for it yet. We can all see how it is between you two” they pried for more. 

“And you’re all wrong” you say as you set the second cup down next to the first. 

“Then what is it? You still have that thing for Levi?” They joke. Your eyes immediately flicker back to Levi, he’s frozen, still knelt down at the sink. You swear you can feel all the color drain from your face. Hange has already started mumbling about a new topic you couldn’t focus on. 

“Hey, four eyes.” Levi stands up from his position, peeling out the trash bag he was digging for. “Keep me out of your fantasies and come help me with your mess” he says, his tone was flat, as usual. He turns away without looking at either of you and walks out of the kitchen. 

“Shit, he heard that?” Hange asks, looking back at you. It's obvious by their face how embarrassed you must look because Hange immediately starts assuring you that it’s fine. 

You walk back out to the living room with Hange, still fighting off the embarrassment from the kitchen. You watch as Hange picks up the various chasers that were still left over from the game. When you turn your attention to Levi your face burns, you wonder if that made everything weird now. “You good? You look like you could use one of these.” Erwin interrupts your thoughts, handing you a new can. You accept and pop the tab.

“You have no idea.” You confirm, taking a drink.  

“What a mess.” He comments and shakes his head, watching as Hange and Levi clean. Just as you open your mouth to reply, Miche caught your attention as he made his way across the living room, careful to walk around the chaos that Hange and Levi were cleaning. When he catches your gaze he raises a hand up, flashing a lighter and gestures towards the back door with a nod "smoke break?" 

"Count me in!" Hange yells, quickly standing and discarding the handful of cups on a nearby side table and making their way out, followed by Erwin. You tip your can back, finish the beer, and make your way to the back door. you lazily slide your shoes on not even bothering to pull the backs up over your heels, you glance behind you to see Levi gathering up the empty cups and beer cans and throwing a couple unopened cans into the cooler placed in the living room. You think for a moment about staying inside and doing damage control with him, maybe you could convince him that Hange was just being dramatic, or using it as a means to prove that they’re right about Erwin. "Come on! What're you doing?" Hange interrupts, pulling you away from the door and sliding it shut, dragging you over to the group. 

"Hange, you really couldn't have said that a worse time." You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, willing another wave of embarrassment away. At this point, you didn’t care about bringing it up in front of Erwin and Miche. You figure Hange would tell them on their own anyway. 

"Said what?" Miche mumbled around the cigarette hanging off his lips, passing the lighter to Erwin. 

"Well.." Hange drawled, a shit eating grin on their face "I may have spilled the beans on her little crush on Levi.. right in front of him." Now both Erwin and Miche were looking right at you, a few moments of silence pass before Erwin raises a brow and glances between you and Hange

"Crush?" His tone was so flat it didn't even sound like a question.

"Levi?" Miche interjected quickly, waiting for you to say you were joking. When the silence began to linger Miche let out a quick snort "like, Levi?" He asked again, his hand gesturing towards the house. "No shit, way to pull the rug from under our feet." He shakes his head in disbelief and nudges Hange with his elbow "you knew and still said your piece about Erwin this whole time? Evil." he laughed 

"Hey, I was told in confidence that she thought Levi was hot one time!" Hange spills out. It was true, months ago you hung out with Hange alone. The two of you decided to have a night in with movies and wine since no one else could join. After a couple glasses you let it slip that you had a small crush on Levi, making sure to paint it as fleeting so the two of you didn't get the same treatment as you and Erwin. "Hey," Hange places a hand on your shoulder "are you alright?"

“I’m just worried about it, I never would have told him that. You saw him in the kitchen, everything is probably going to be so awkward now.” 

"Oh stop, it's Levi!" Hange encourages and pulls you in close by your other shoulder "he doesn't care, he probably won't even mention it" they try to reason with you, but it falls on deaf ears. you were so full of doubt. How could things be normal after this? Were you just supposed to continue on while pretending it didn't happen? That's exactly what you plan to do because there was no chance you could bring it up to his face.  

"I'll be back" you mumble at Hange as you spin on your heels and make your way inside through the back door and decide the bathroom would be a more private place to pull yourself together. 

***

You admire the photos that hang unsystematically in the hallway, tracing waves on the wall with your finger as you glide through, the music slowly starts to fade the closer you get to your destination and completely muffles as you close the bathroom door. 

"uh, hi?" 

You snap your attention towards the voice, meeting a sharp but forgiving gaze. "Levi, I didn't realize you-." you start, feeling the heat in your cheeks as you stammer for the words to apologize. Levi's stare is unmoving for a moment. He looks down, swiping the cloth off the hook to dry his hands. His eyes dart back to your face. "Your shoelaces are untied." 

What..? 

You take a moment to register what he just said, double checking that you heard him correctly and glancing down to see the strings loosely hanging off each side of your shoes. "That's how I like them..." When his expression doesn’t change you curse yourself for sounding so dumb. 

"And you're walking through my house with shoes on." he states and you can feel your face burning even more. Duh, Why wouldn't you have remembered to take them off as you came in. Just as you part your lips to muster up what would probably sound like another pathetic attempt at an apology, you notice the small smirk pulling at Levi's lips "Save it. Hange's party, Hange’s mess to clean" He assured you.

You hum in response and started to turn back towards the door to leave "Was that true?" He asked, you can hear a subtle eagerness in the question "What Hange said, I mean" he corrects his tone this time. You’re completely still while a wave of embarrassment washes back over your whole body trying to think of something to say, but you're stuck speechless. Muffled music and Hange’s voice chanting at Erwin to chug from outside quickly fill in the silence. You take a deep breath, realizing that now is your chance to give context. 

“Yeah, but that was so long ago,” you stammer your words and finally turn to face him, he’s closer now. 

“Yeah? How long?” He’s smirking now, arms crossed over his chest, like this is amusing to him. 

“Months.” Was all you could say in response. 

“So what happened? You let eyebrows take my spot?” He teases. 

“You’re starting to sound an awful lot like Hange, It was never like that anyway,” you scoff, not realizing his implication of having a spot. In your attempt to explain yourself you hadn't noticed Levi closing the space between you. 

“You done?” He interrupts, glancing down at your lips then back up. Your eyes meet his and you nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Levi leans in, his fingers brush against your jaw as he reaches out resting his hand at the nape of your neck. He pulls you in gently and pauses briefly before your lips meet. You hear his breath shake before he closes the small space between the two of you. Warmth spreads across your whole body and the intoxication rushes back in. You drape your arms over his shoulders and relax into it, tilting your head to follow his lead. Levi rests his other hand on your hip, pulling you flush against his body and snaking his fingers through the hair behind your head. He guides you back up into the door, his hand acting as a cushion for your head as he moves his lips against yours. Your breath hitches at the gentle impact against the door, you pull your arms back in to cup his face just as he parts from you. He rests his forehead against yours, his breaths coming out in soft pants. Your eyes meet again and just as he parts his lips to say something you hear the back door slide open and shut. Levi quickly pulls back from you, a quiet ‘shit’ falling from his lips. You realize how long you have been missing from the group. Grabbing the door handle you turn back to Levi, he responds with a gestured nod toward the door. A silent agreement that you leave first. You twist the handle and exit the bathroom quickly, closing the door behind you. As you step away from the door Erwin turns down the hall and stops at the sight of you. 

"There you are.” he starts, sounding relieved. “We got worried when you didn't come back and," he stops speaking when you hear the bathroom door click shut behind you. You watch as Erwin's eyes flicker back and forth. You press your eyes shut as Levi slips quietly past you. When the back door slides shut signaling that Levi is outside, you open your eyes. Something is different about Erwin’s posture; he seems stiff and his expression indecipherable. "Oh, looks like that worked out for you then?" He questions, referencing Hange’s slip of the tongue earlier and offering a wistful smile.

"Yeah, I guess it did." You agree, biting back a grin. 

***

The night died down fast. Miche made sure Hange had more water and got into their bed without issue then retreated to his own room. Erwin has the couch, and you have the recliner, your usual arrangement for nights spent over. The music was silenced, the only light now coming from a single lamp on the side table keeping the room just lit enough for Levi. He paces between the living room and kitchen, picking up the last of the mess left behind from the night. Erwin hasn’t said much since coming back inside. You assume he's not feeling well and decide to leave him alone for the night, you could fill him in tomorrow. You spend your wind down time curled up on the chair, your eyes flicking between your phone and Levi as he moves around the room. "You always had a staring problem, now I know why." he teases.

 "Shut up" you roll your eyes at him, setting your phone down as he walks back towards you. 

"Let's go." He says as he yanks the blanket you were using off of you, tucking it under his arm. 

"Where?" You ask.

"My room, dumbass."

Taglist: @ackerbootytobbi @amywritesthings

[suhkusa]

The cool air is the first thing that greets you as you walk outside. Everyone decides to hangout outside before the 11PM curfew. 

There are so many familiar faces, but at this moment you still feel alone. Some of the other managers greet you as you make your way to a lawn chair that’s set by a tree. 

Your manager friends were already mid conversation with some volleyball players when you walked outside, so you felt uncomfortable just joining in. Atsumu is also surrounded by players you’ve never met before. Plus, it was you who decided to come on this trip. He’s not responsible for you. Everyone else you just don’t know that well.

You’re shocked out of your thoughts as you become self conscious of how really alone you were, how alone you looked. On instinct, you take out your phone and begin scrolling through each app, attempting to make yourself look busy.

Asu? No, honestly things have felt a bit tense, and you don’t want to keep bothering your online friend with your troubles. Your friends? Also no, for the same reason. 

Plus, the way you were feeling was stupid, was it not? You feel so alone, yet no one is stopping you from interacting with any of these people. You have only yourself to blame. 

“What’re you doing over here?” Yet, he seems to always be there when you needed it the most. Scarily enough. 

You look up from your phone, letting a smile make its way onto your face, “Nothing, I’m just tired. Didn’t want to get FOMO though,” 

Sakusa puts another lawn chair down beside you. “I suppose,”

“They snuck in some drinks if you wanted to take shots with them,” he adds.

You let out a breathy laugh, “I’m not an alcoholic, y’know? Thanks for letting me know, though,” you finally turn off your phone and slip it into your back pocket. “To be honest, I have a headache,”

A concern looks washed over his face, “Was it because of the energy drink?”

“Oh, so that was you?” your words catch him off guard, he hesitates to say something and you laugh again, “Don’t worry, I don’t think it was that. I think it helped me stay awake this long,”

Sakusa sighs with relief, “That’s good,”

“I don’t think you’ll miss out on much if you go sleep now,” he adds, “You should catch up on the rest you didn’t get last night,”

“Ah, maybe,” your hands are fidgeting, picking at the skins near your nail bed.

“Are you alright?”

You freeze, not sure what to say. But the words unexpectedly find you and you spill.

“To be honest, I'm just overwhelmed. My anxiety has been through the roof, but I stopped my meds a long time ago. There’s been so much on my mind,”

Sakusa says nothing but nods at your words. The silence freaks you out a bit, so you keep talking.

“I feel like I have to always be happy, it’s what everyone expects of me. And I am, but sometimes I get tired. And I don’t want people to see that I’m tired,” you know you’re oversharing, and it’s random, but you can’t stop yourself, “I hate when people worry about me so it’s always easier for me to push it all down. I don’t know why recently it’s gotten harder,”

“I suppose I relate in some sense. But either way, don’t be scared to reach out, you have a lot of friends don’t you? They all care for you– from what I see, at least,” he fumbles his words a bit before continuing, “I know we’re not friends, but I’m also here if you ever need to talk,”

A small smile teases the side of your mouth, “Whaat? We’re not friends? I thought I said we were though,” you tease.

“Oh, well I mean, yeah, then,” 

You didn’t expect him to play along, to be honest. His words fluster you, and you can feel your cheeks warm. 

The cold air clashes with the warmth of your skin, it feels nice. 

“Did talking to me help at all?” Sakusa asks, and you realize this is the first time you’ve met eyes with him this whole night. 

You offer a small smile before nodding.

“I’m glad,” and for a split second you can make out a small smile on his face in the dark night. 

“I’m going to head in now, want to come with?”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you quickly nod and join him in folding the chairs. The two of you make your way into the dimly lit hallway before bidding each other soft goodnight. 

It was safe to say that you would be getting a good night’s rest. 

SECRET ALLIANCE — SPOILER WARNING

PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

NOTES.

y/n laid in bed for another 30 minutes as the caffeine ran it's course

last day of camp next :3

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[canirove]

Canary boy | Chapter 1

Summary: Most stories tell you about a normal girl who falls in love with a famous football player. But what if things were the other way around? What if she was the famous football player, and he was just a normal guy? 

Author’s note: I'm back with another Pedri story! 💃🏼 This one has been sitting on my drafts for a while because I wasn't too sure about part of the plot, but after giving it another read, it is finally ready to see the light 😁 I was in the mood to write something simple and just nice to read that, for example, had the same vibes as "Red and blue". A happy story with just some ups and downs and not big dramas. But I don't know if I managed to do it, you can let me know as you read it😅 Unless I'm forgetting someone, except for Fer (Pedri's brother) and Aitana, all the characters are made up and named after people I know in real life or that I follow on social media, so if there happens to be someone somehow related to Pedri in real life with that name, it is just a coincidence. Also the title is like a play on words because in Spanish you use the same word (canario) to talk about a man from the Canary Islands and the animal. I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

“Inés, can I use your phone to call my mum? Mine has run out of battery.”

“Again?” I chuckle, passing it to Carla.

“Yeah… I think I need a new one” she says while typing. “Wait, who is this Pedri you are getting notifications from?”

“What?”

“I just saw an Instagram notification saying that someone called Pedri has posted on his stories.”

“He's no one” I quickly say. “Aren't you going to call your mum? You know she starts getting worried if you don't do it right after a game.”

“She can wait. I, on the other hand, can’t. Who is this guy?” she smirks.

“Carla, stop it” I say, trying to retrieve my phone.

“You are blushing, Inés.”

“I'm not.”

“Yes, you are” she says, still smirking. “Let's see what he has posted, shall we?”

“Carla…”

“He is wishing happy birthday to one of his friends. Or his brother, you don’t know these days since they all call that to each other. But which one is he, the blonde or the brunette one?”

“Brunette. Now give me that” I say, trying to get my phone from her once again and only managing to hit myself with my bus seat. 

“He's cute. Is he someone random you liked or do you know each other?”

“He's a classmate.”

“Uuuh!”

“Carla, lower down your voice!” one of our teammates says from the other side of the bus.

“Sorry!” she replies. “I may have to join you in some of your classes if the guys are this cute.”

“They aren't. Now give me my phone.”

“Does he follow you back?”

“Yes.”

“Does he also like all your photos like you do? Like, wow, Inés” she chuckles. “You do fancy him.”

“I don't, Carla. Now either call your mum, or give me my phone back. I want to take a nap before we make it home.”

“And dream about Pedri?” she teases me while still scrolling on my phone. 

“Carla!” 

“Silence!” another of our teammates says.

“Carla… please” I repeat, this time lower.

“Ok, ok. I'll call my… No!” she gasps. Loudly.

“Girls, I don't know what you are doing over there, but please lower down your voice” Aitana says from the seat behind us. “It's been a tough game and some of us want to sleep.”

“It won't happen again, I promise” Carla says, turning to look at her with her best smile. “But you need to explain to me why the fuck do you fancy a guy who has a girlfriend” she whispers.

“I don't fancy him” I insist.

“Then why do you have his notifications turned on and have liked all his photos, this one wishing his girlfriend a happy anniversary included?”

“Because…” I say, biting my lip.

“Because you fancy him, you idiot” she says, hitting my arm. “Inés, why would you do something like this to yourself?”

“It's just a crush, Carla. Nothing else.”

“It better, because if you are wasting your time with a guy who is taken…”

“I'm not. Now call your mum or give me my phone back.”

“Fine. I'll call her” she says, giving me one last look before closing Instagram and finally calling her mum, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Thoughts about how she is right. About how I do fancy a guy who is taken, and about how I've done it for the past three years. 

When I finished high school my career as a football player hadn't taken off yet, I was still playing for Barça B. And since I didn't know if I would ever make it to the first team or for how long I could live off football, I decided to start studying journalism and have other options for my future. 

It had been during my first day at uni, that I had met Pedri. Not Pedro, no. Pedri (though legally he is called Pedro).

He was sitting a few seats to my right, his Canarian accent making him be the centre of attention while he talked with some of our classmates about the differences between Barcelona and Tenerife, his hometown. And even though back then he looked like a baby since he still hadn't grown a beard, you couldn't deny that he was handsome. If you ask me, he had and still has one of the most perfect side profiles I have ever seen. And his lips… Dear lord. If you Google kissable lips, you will definitely find his photo.

During those first weeks one of our teachers decided to make different work groups so we could get to know each other a bit more, and yes, you've guessed it. Pedri and I were part of the same one. That was how we ended up following each other on Instagram, because we had made a group chat so we all could talk and work on the different assignments. 

At first we didn't say much to each other, I was too shy. I just basically stared at him and giggled like an idiot when he said something funny. But then I made my debut with Barça's first team, and he talked to me. Like, alone, not with our other classmates present.

I still remember the way my heart started beating when he called my name after class and congratulated me, the big smile on his face, and how honestly happy he seemed to be for me. I'm pretty sure that was the moment when I realized that I actually liked him. That I fancied him. And then when we kept talking just the two of us between classes… Well, you can imagine. I was on cloud nine. A cloud that hit the floor and broke into a million pieces when a couple of months later at one of our classmates’ birthday party, I saw him making out with his now girlfriend, making me feel like the biggest idiot ever. 

He had been friendly with me because that was who he was, because he liked meeting new people and getting to know them. But since I am simply stupid, I had thought that he was doing it because he also liked me, because he fancied me. 

After that I started to attend my classes less often and to do most things online because I became part of the first team and didn't have much free time, which led us to stop talking the way we had been. But because like I said, I am simply stupid, I kept liking his posts on Instagram as if nothing had happened. The crush was still there and it wasn't going anywhere. It probably only grew as time passed and he started to look more and more handsome. Which is how I ended up turning on the notifications for his posts. Because I don't want to miss seeing his pretty face since now we only cross paths if I am lucky and can attend some of the most important classes, if we are meeting with the friends we have in common, or during exams season. 

“Inés… Inés!” Carla says, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “Did you fall asleep with your eyes open?”

“What?”

“I was telling you that I was done with my call” she says, giving me my phone back.

“Oh, yes, sorry. I guess I do need that nap” I chuckle.

“Yeah… Now you nap, and tomorrow we go out.”

“Out? Where?”

“Partying, of course” Carla smiles. “We have a couple of days off, which means that we can go out at night and find you a man who isn't taken.”

“Carla…” I sigh.

“No, I'm sorry. It's been decided. We are going out tomorrow, and you aren't going home until you've made out with someone. And hopefully someone blonde and with blue eyes so you won't think you are kissing your classmate. This is operation forget about Pedri.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“So you play football for a living?”

“Yep.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Nah, you are messing with me” the guy I'm talking to laughs. “Like, girls who like or play football are either tomboys or lesbians. Or both. Are you a lesbian?”

“What?” I say, almost choking with my drink.

“You definitely don't look like a tomboy, you are hot. So are you a lesbian?”

“I'm straight.”

“Then you definitely are messing with me” he laughs. 

“I… I'm going to the bathroom. Can you hold this for me?” I say, giving him what is left of my drink. 

“Yes, sure. I'll wait for you here” he smiles.

“Umm… yes” I say, turning my back to him and starting to look for Carla among the crowd. Why did I let her take me out tonight? All the guys she's introduced me to and that I've talked with have been so… so… Brainless. I'm pretty sure that if we put them all together, they wouldn't make a brain cell. 

“Carla!” I call when I see her chatting and laughing with a random guy. How does she do it? How is she able to act so natural around men? “Carla, hey!” I wave. But I do it without looking around me, and I end up hitting someone in the head. “Oh my God, I'm so sorry!”

“Don't worry, it's… Inés!”

“Pedri?” I say when the owner of the head I just hit turns around. 

“I didn't expect to see you here!” he smiles.

“Me neither” I reply with a nervous laugh, trying not to stare at him like an idiot. He looks so good tonight.

“Inés, what happened with… you!” Carla says, joining us and pointing at Pedri.

“Me?” he chuckles.

“I know you!”

“Carla, I'm going home” I quickly say before he starts asking uncomfortable questions.

“Already?” she and Pedri say at the same time.

“I'm not used to going out until this late, I'm tired.”

“Oh, c'mon, Inés” Carla pouts. “We just arrived!”

Which is a lie. We've been at this club for the two longest hours of my life.

“I'm sorry.”

“But…”

“Pedri, your… you!” a guy that looks pretty familiar says, now pointing at me. “I know you! You are Inés, Barça's centre-back!”

“I… yes?”

“It's her!” he says, looking at Pedri and giving him one of the drinks he was carrying. 

“It's her, yes. Inés, this is my friend and roommate Mario. Mario, this is Inés.” Oh, so that's why he looked so familiar. He is the guy he is constantly posting things with on Instagram. 

“Can't believe I'm finally meeting you in person!”

“Finally?” I ask with a confused look.

“Pedrito has made me watch all your games for the past couple of years” he laughs, squeezing his friend's shoulder. “But I don't regret it, you girls are amazing. Such a shame you didn't win the last game… It was a tough one.”

“Yeah” I say, my brain stuck on the fact that Pedri has forced his best friend to watch my games. I mean, Barcelona’s. That's what he probably meant, not just mine. 

“At least we didn't lose. I'm Carla, by the way” she says, extending her hand towards Mario.

“Carla López, Barcelona and Spain national team's goalkeeper. A pleasure” he says, kissing her hand and making her giggle. And I know that sound. It is the one she makes when she really likes someone. Great, just great. 

“You know your football” she smiles.

“I do” he smiles back, the way they are looking at each other making this encounter even more uncomfortable and awkward than it already was.

“Anyway, like I was saying, I'm going home” I interrupt them. “So if you'll excuse me…”

“Inés, you can't go home alone and at night. It can be dangerous!” Carla says.

“I'll call an Uber, I'll be fine.”

“That doesn't make it any better.”

“I'll go with her.”

“What?” Carla, Mario and I say at the same time.

“I'll go with her” Pedri repeats. “She's right, going on your own can be dangerous.”

“I… I… I mean, I…”

“But bro, we just arrived. What about your drink?” Mario asks him while I keep mumbling.

“I'll drink it” he shrugs before starting to chug it as if it was water and not alcohol. “Done” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and giving the glass back to Mario. “Are you ready, Inés?”

“Uh?” I say, my eyes fixed on his lips and on how they still are a bit wet, making them look even more kissable than they usually are. 

“You wanted to go home, didn't you?” Pedri asks me.

“Yes, I did. Yes.”

“Then let's go. Enjoy the rest of your night, guys. And behave yourself” he says, winking at Mario and making me gasp. 

“Inés… Inés, are you sure about this?” Carla asks me while Pedri and Mario keep teasing each other. “We came here to forget about him, and now you are leaving with him.”

“But as friends. Offering to accompany me home confirms that that's all he wants from me. To be friends.”

“That's him, yes. But what about you?”

“I want the same. Just friends.”

“Inés…”

“Ready?” Pedri asks me, ending our conversation.

“Ready” I smile. 

“Text me once you are home, ok?” Carla tells me, the look on her face letting me know that she doesn't agree with this. 

“I will, I promise. Good night” I say before following Pedri and leaving the club.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Pedri… Pedri, wake up.”

“Uh?”

“You have to wake up, c'mon” I say, running my hand through his hair. 

“No.”

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because we just arrived.”

“Urgh” he groans.

“C'mon” I say, touching his hair one last time before unlocking our seatbelts. Because we both still are on the Uber that is taking me home, not waking up together in the same bed, you little dirty minds (I wish that was the case, tho. Wait, who said that?). 

Just five minutes after we had left the club, the alcohol he had drunk in one go had started to affect him, and by the time we were in the car, he was properly drunk. It looked more like I was accompanying him home and not the other way around.

“Where are we?” he says, slowly getting up from my lap. Oh, yes. Because Pedri had decided that the best thing to do, was to take a nap while resting his head on my legs. The most comfortable and soft ones according to what he said a few times before falling asleep.

“My house” I say, opening the car's door. “You were accompanying me, remember?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I'm a gentleman” he says with a drunken smile.

“You are, yes. Now c'mon” I reply, leaving the car. 

“Fuck!” 

“What happened? Are you ok?” I say, turning around.

“I don't know. I think… shit” he says, looking down at his hand. He's bleeding. “Inés…”

“Is he ok?” the driver says.

“He's… Pedri!” I say, catching him when he starts falling against the car.

“I'm fine, I'm fine” he says, managing to sit down again. “Just not the biggest fan of blood.”

“Should we take him to the hospital? He's gone so pale…” the driver says.

“No, no hospitals. This is nothing” Pedri says. 

“Miss?” the driver asks me.

“I…”

“Please, Inés. It's just a scratch.”

“Ok, fine. But let's get you upstairs before you hurt yourself again.”

“Do you want a hand, miss?” the driver offers. 

“I can do it myself, thank you” I smile. Pedri isn't the biggest guy out there, and after hitting his head he seems to have sobered up a bit, so I think we can make it inside and to the lift. “But you've earned five starts and a big tip.”

“Oh, there is no need, miss. Just doing what anyone else would.”

“I'm not so sure of that. Thank you very much.”

“You're welcome” he says.

“Can you walk?” I ask Pedri once he is standing up again. 

“I can, Inés. Though your arm around my waist will be very welcomed just in case” he smiles.

“Yeah… umm… Ok” I say, doing as he has asked and starting to walk towards my building, his arm around my shoulders. “Comfortable there?” I ask him once we are inside the lift and after a bit of struggle to go up the few stairs in the lobby.

“Yeah” he replies, resting his head against the wall, his eyes closing again. Looks like the sobering up is gone.

“Pedri, don't fall asleep.”

“I'm not. I'm just resting my eyes.”

“Pedri…”

“Is that the tone you use on the pitch to order around?” he smirks, his eyes still closed.

“What?”

“I've seen you. You will be captain one day, Inés. You have what it takes.”

“Yeah, well… Pedri!” I say when the lift stops and he almost falls again. 

“I'm fine, I'm fine” he replies, opening his eyes. With the light inside the lift they look as if the brown had some bits of gold, and they are simply beautiful. 

“Ok, c'mon” I say, putting his arm around my shoulders once again and leaving the lift.

“You have a nice apartment, Inés” he says when we walk in. “Very cosy.”

“Thank you” I reply, trying to close the door and keep him from falling again. He is getting heavier by the second. “Why don't you lay down there while I go get something to clean your wound?”

“My wound?” he asks as he lets himself fall on the sofa.

“You hit your head when you were getting out of the car, remember?”

“Did I?” he says, his eyes already closed. “Oh, yes. I did…”

“Pedri, don't… fall asleep” I say. But he's gone. In just a few seconds, he's completely gone, one arm and one leg hanging from the sofa. “Great” I sigh while putting him in a more comfortable position and covering him with a blanket. Sleeping like that, he looks like a kid, like someone who has never done anything wrong in his life. And I can't help but run my hand through his hair again.

I think he has the softest hair I've ever touched even if now it is a bit sticky around his face because of the sweat and the blood from his wound. A wound that thankfully doesn't look too bad and has stopped bleeding, and that I guess we'll have to take care of tomorrow. “Sweet dreams, Pedri” I whisper, stopping myself when I am about to kiss his forehead. Like, what the fuck, Inés? That's… No. Go to bed. That's what you should do, go to bed too. 

Though falling asleep knowing that I have Pedri, the boy I've had the biggest crush on for the past three years, drunkenly sleeping on my sofa, is gonna be interesting to say the least. And when he wakes up…

[punkypiscesell-writes]

when it comes without a warning - ch. 1

chapter 1 - previous chapter

Javier Peña x plus size f! reader

summary: You meet a stranger at a New Years Eve party, not knowing where that chance encounter might lead.

warnings (updated after each chapter): fake dating AU, strangers to lovers, romcom, 90’s vibes, angst, small town dynamics, slow burn, pining, insecurities, drinking, smoking, food related descriptions, family mentions, mention of pregnancy, cynicism about love. The picture in the header is just for the visual and isn't an indication of the reader's skin color. Not beta read. If you see any broken Spanish, please let me know!!

word count: 9.4k

notes: Here we go, chapter 1! I hope you enjoy it <3 I will be updating this story each month, the final chapter coming out in July. The next update will be on Valentine’s Day.

dividers by cafekitsune

When you were a child, you watched a movie every Saturday evening with your mom. They made you think your life would follow a specific path. Go to school, graduate, you’d find a boyfriend who you’d someday marry and have kids with.

You’d buy a house somewhere quiet with a big garden and a picket fence. The kids would grow up and you’d watch them become their own people while knowing you’d always have your first love with you. You’d look at pictures that would span years until those would turn into decades, with the same people in them getting greyer and wrinkles all over their faces. It would be perfect.

What you didn’t understand back then, was how life doesn’t usually go like in those picture perfect stories. Rarely it’s wrapped neatly with shiny paper and finished off with a flawless bow.

You watched your friends find their first loves while you became a wallflower. You didn’t know what to do in life while others were making decisions about their futures. One by one your old friends moved away to chase their dreams, forgetting the people and memories back home. With the need to get out of the town where you grew up in, like your friends had, you realized you could turn your hobby into a job.

Chasing a dream makes people optimistic and the possibility of having your own story unfold like in one of those movies you used to watch with your mom seemed possible again. You kept your eyes open, even dared to step out of your wallflower persona, full of hope and enthusiasm. When your story still kept you waiting, you understood how chasing love doesn’t always mean chasing romantic love.

In the glimmer of a big city, you found new friends. Abigail, Eileen and Mary were actually interested in talking with you and getting to know who you are outside of being just someone’s friend. They already knew each other having grown up in the same town, but you fit in with them like the last pea in a pod.

“What’s holding you back, you can move anywhere!” Mary drunkenly encouraged on the night of your graduation, while the humidity of Austin bathed you in sweat.

“Yeah, you can start a bakery anywhere!” Abigail offered you her glass to pour more tequila into. How she said it, like it was the simplest thing in the world, made you laugh, and you thought she was joking until you realized she wasn’t. She was far from it.

“And then what? Just rot in some dying town until the end of my days?”

The seed was already planted though. They had a point. You could start a bakery anywhere if you wanted to and you could find help with the business side of things, especially in the beginning.

When you sobered up and you were sitting on an uncomfortable bar stool leaning your elbows against the kitchen island in your small, hole in the wall kitchen. You started to plan it. The more you planned, the more convinced you were you could make it work.

The movies you watched while growing up rarely had people move into a small town with a population of only a few thousand when they could move into a big city and keep those big dreams alive.

You bought a small space for your bakery from a building that used to have a restaurant. Mrs. Sánchez has a flower shop next door, and she has always been supportive of you, even when for a while you were the “new girl” in town. The whispers around you and your business were excessive, but eventually the whispering turned into actual conversations with you, rather than about you.

You had your best friends being part of their family businesses. Your bakery started to bloom. You were in control of the strings in your hands and all the puzzle pieces were clearly laid out, all of them locking into place.

“We want you to clear your schedules next July,” Noah begins with his soft voice, his calmness the complete opposite to Abigail who is hanging from his arm.

“We’re getting married y’all!” Abigail yells and pulls her hand from her fiancé, flashing a big, shiny ring for the guests to see. Your face drops as an excited shock washes through the room of Noah’s family’s luxurious farmhouse that they’ve had since forever. The high ceilings echo the eruption of cheering and clapping with the sound of glasses tinkling together in toast. You raise yours and smile, your feet rooted against the floor.

Your best friends. You look at them fawning over the ring, the smiling couple surrounded by their closest friends.  

“Finally, everyone knows!”

“Now we don’t have to hide it any longer!” Eileen and Mary laugh. Your smile doesn’t falter, it doesn’t even flinch. But it’s like a cold shower that runs down from the back of your neck to the bottom of your spine. Abigail’s eyes flash to you after the women have said the words out loud.

You used to be a part of that group of best friends. In the last couple of years they’ve turned into people you sometimes hang out with. The frequent dinners and game nights at each other’s places first turned into occasions that happened once a month, then into once every six months when schedules and life got in the way.

First it was Mary, who announced she had reconnected with her high school sweetheart. Then it was Eileen who found her boyfriend through Mary’s boyfriend. For a while it was just you and Abigail, the two of you against the world. You were bridesmaids to Mary, then to Eileen, then Mary got pregnant and Eileen right after her. You and Abigail held the fort as the only single women in your group.

And then suddenly it was only you. Their lives are different now, as is yours. You’re not in your early twenties anymore, naively finding your way in this world. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve chosen the right place for you, but you’ve also understood that you might not want the future with the house and a picket fence, a husband and kids and the pictures on a mantelpiece. Your best friends want that while you’ve chosen another path.

Then, before you can delve too deep into other existential questions, you remember a cake order that has to be filled next week or how you have to make one more batch of the new malted wheat sourdough bread because your customers are emptying your shelves before 8 am.

“So, what do you think?” Abigail catches up to you after you’ve congratulated the pair. She reaches her  left hand towards you and wiggles her hand.

You hold her fingers and twist them gently. The rock sparkles in the champagne hued light of the farmhouse. “It’s beautiful,” you smile.

“Noah chose it himself, with the help from my mom. I can’t believe he managed to do all that and I had no idea!” Abigail sighs and pulls her hand back to marvel at the jewel around her ring finger.

You sip from your drink, the alcohol almost a welcomed friend in the full house. The atmosphere is electric from the unexpected news. The music is turned even louder than it already was. The New Year is only a few hours away and you don’t see the party dying down anytime soon.

A little quiet wouldn’t do you any harm, especially as someone keeps bumping against your back, and pushes you to give them more room.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something.” Abigail pulls you to the side, somehow managing to find a corner that isn’t occupied.

“I’d love to ask you a favor.” You’ve always been impressed by her ability to make her eyes so innocently big, pleading in a way that is caring and can make even the coldest person believe whatever she says is their own idea.

Abigail lifts her hands to your forearms and squeezes with a smile that reminds you of a child you saw at your shop yesterday after he had seen the experimental chocolate and peanut cupcakes you had made. After seeing his face, you might bring them back when you have an overstock of the ingredients, just to see that same kind of enthusiasm again.

“Remember that cake you baked for my 27th birthday?” Abigail asks. She doesn’t have to remind you. It was an elaborate white chocolate vanilla cake with raspberry compote filling. You topped it with handmade chocolate decorations that you created after work, the hours stretching closer to 20 spent in your bakery that day. Your back ached and you were stressed because you wanted the cake to be perfect. It was all worth it.

You nod. “I’d love it if you could make our wedding cake. We’ll of course pay, unless…” Abigail smiles with her lips tightly shut, the apples of her cheeks glowing.

“Unless you want me to give you a wedding cake as a wedding gift?” You fill in for her, the idea cracking your smile.

“Yes! Oh my God, it would be perfect! I’d be so incredibly lucky to have your creation at our wedding. It would be so special!” She grabs at you and pulls you into a tight hug that crackles against your tight shoulder where the muscle has been burning for the past week.

“I think we could make it work.” You swallow, defeated by your inability to say no to Abigail. One wedding cake. It’ll only be one wedding cake, among the other wedding cake orders that flow in during the busiest season of people tying the knot.

“I also have one other thing in mind.” You immediately prepare mentally for whatever she’s going to ask from you next.

“At my wedding, I’d love for you to bring a plus one.” Your mind goes blank.

“What?”

“The wedding is still six months away, so you have plenty of time. I just don’t want to see you alone there!” Abigail laughs and rubs at your arms. It has been a while since you wore anything else than your comfy clothes at home or your work uniform that consists of soft cotton T-shirts all in creamy white, tucked in your jeans and under an apron. Your friend running her hands up and down against the fabric on your arms, the blouse is suddenly coarse and too hot.

“I don’t have time for dating,” you remind her.

“You never have time for dating! I think that’s not true, you’re just afraid of finding someone and falling in love. That’s okay,” Abigail’s tone is encouraging, but her words sting. She’s not wrong. Of course you’re scared, you’ve never really dated anyone. The only dates you’ve been to were either pity dates set up by your high school friends or a few failed first meetings with guys who had been your customers at the bakery and who now only visit when they have to get something special for their girlfriends and wives.

“Fear not, you’re meeting someone tonight,” your friend’s eyes glimmer mischievously.

“What?” You hiss immediately.

“Noah has a friend who’s single. We think you’ll like him a lot.” Each of Abigail’s words is emphasized by a nod of her head or a poor attempt at a wink.

“We?”

“Eileen, me and Mary of course, silly,” she whacks at your arm playfully. Her cheeks blush while your stomach is heavy with dread.

“I really don’t think it’s a great idea. Also, I don’t need a date, it’s a wedding, it’ll be fun no matter if I have a date or not.”

“Bullsh–,” Abigail shushes herself and makes sure no one heard her. Her eyes soften to the level of pity. “It’s okay for you to find someone special, we all have. You’ll love it when someone takes care of you and pampers you and you won’t have to be alone anymore. You want to get married, you want a family! You’ve said it yourself, remember?” She laughs and tilts her head.

“Yeah!” You hope she doesn’t hear the doubt in your voice.

“We’re making sure you’re not going to end up alone.”

“What do you have in mind then?” Abigail turns immediately from you and leaves you standing next to the huge Christmas tree still fully decked and deeply green. You see her long, blonde hair swinging as she makes her way through the crowd. The curls at the ends are perfect. You smile at an older couple and wish them a happy New Near under your breath as they pass you by, a suspicious look in their eye while you try to keep track of Abigail.

You don’t have to wait for long. You see her first, then a tall man in a crisp white button down shirt behind her. He eyes you up and down immediately, his eyes blue and hard. You can’t read the look he’s giving you, but it’s not pleasant. He makes you nervous.

“Here’s John,” Abigail announces with a smile, and a hand that she waves down from his shoulder to midriff. You’re cornered between Abigail, John and the Christmas tree. The man nods his head and keeps his eyes locked on you while you notice the drink in his hand, a glass too gentle to be held in a death grip like his.

“Noah always calls him Johnny,” She proudly pats him on the shoulder and pushes John closer to you. The wall bumps against your back.

“He doesn’t,” John argues. His face twists in confusion, while his words are drowned by Abigail’s enthusiasm.

“Noah always tells good stories about John, how they’ve known for years, and how reliable he is. And you’re both into…” Abigail smiles, her eyes a little empty. She looks at you and massages John’s shoulder with her bejeweled hand. The engagement ring sparkles in the soft lighting of the family home. “You’re both into business! You’re entrepreneurs! I think you might have interesting conversations in the horizon,” Abigail chirps and finishes the last note with a smile that reveals her perfectly white teeth. Something catches her attention. Her eyes get larger, and her cheeks burn bright red. Noah stands close by with some of his friends, deep in conversation.

“Oh, excuse me, I have somewhere to be,” she points somewhere towards the crowd of people and disappears into it with a wave of her hand, in the opposite direction from Noah.

You stand awkwardly next to just as awkward John. He smells like aftershave from 30 years ago. It’s not completely unpleasant, only something you can imagine he got as a regifted present on Christmas. It’s warm, a little spicy, and a little too musty. He might like it, or then he wore it to keep unpleasant people away. You sip at your drink and try to take a step back without John noticing. The wall is in your way.

“We should sit down,” he tells you. You stare at his back when he leaves you standing alone, and only turns around to check if you’re following when he has found a couch end for you both to sit on.

He sits on the sofa with his legs spread wide. His face is smug, borderline conceited, when you make space for yourself next to him. How did Abigail, Mary and Eileen ever think you’d be into this guy? You try to relax, sip on your drink and smile at John. He smiles back. Maybe he’s not as bad as you’re making him out to be in your head. You don’t know him. Maybe your friends have a valid reason to believe you two could hit it off.

John pushes his leg against yours, seeking physical contact. You pull back from him immediately and lock your inner thighs together to keep yourself as small as you can. Your jeans aren’t tight but the way you’re sitting makes them dig into your skin.

“So…” John begins and drinks from his glass.

“So…” You repeat awkwardly, waiting for his next move.

“You want to hear how much money I make? I know women like to hear that. You don’t seem like an exception.” Your smile tightens, it’s a mask. The contents of your glass would be perfect on this guy, maybe he’s even begging for it.

“Like Abigail said, I’m an entrepreneur…” he talks in a monotone voice, reading off an invisible script. You don’t really even care if the mask on your face slips, not when John drones on and on about his savings, his investments and how he wants a stay-at-home wife to take care of the kids and home  while he’s working.

“My business will become massive in the next ten years. Yes, I plan ten years in advance. I recommend it to everyone who…” you drown John’s voice into the different voices around you. He’s like the perfect candidate for people watching.

Abigail and Noah’s parents are standing in one corner of the room, with lighthearted looks on their faces. Noah’s brother is leaning against a wall, looking bored as ever as he snacks on something from the snack table. Mary and Eileen are swaying to the music, pointing out different people from the party goers.

Abigail is with a man who you don’t know. She has her hand on his bicep, then she lifts it to his shoulder. Up and down she moves it, while trying to step closer to him. The man in a dark blue button up, his hair combed to the back with a few fly aways sticking out on his temple, a well-groomed mustache moves over his top lip, knows when to take a step back and shake her hand off him without seeming rude. Is she drunk? Abigail straightens the man’s collar. Her hand lingers on it, her fingertips touch his neck before she pulls her hand back.  

You’ve seen the man before. You’ve caught him staring at the pastries and bread in the bakery window a few times but he hasn’t come in.

“… You do for work?” The question is already fading. John’s tone is cool, almost as uninterested as you are. The distant look in his eyes isn’t helping to get you more invested in his monologue.

“I have my own business.” You answer, even to you in a too formal tone.

“Oh, what kind?” John leans forward, a spark of interest on his face.

“I have a bakery downtown.”

“Ah.” John scratches the back of his neck and shakes his head. “That’s a risky business endeavor. Have you thought about something else when this one bites the dust?”

You grind your teeth together behind the smile that you try to keep even remotely kind looking. You have to get out of here. You spot Abigail mingling with the guests, now with Mary and Eileen, who all turn towards you. Abigail draws a heart in the air with her index fingers and points to John. Miserably you turn back to him, who is still talking about different options for you.

“You could sell your business, cut your losses before they’re too overwhelming for you to handle.” Mary’s thumbs up don’t cover the murderous snarl you give them, your mouth twisted when you shake your head “no”. They’re back on the move, finding a quieter spot while laughing. You can hear it over the steady buzzing of conversations.

John has moved on from your imaginary bankruptcy to talking about his newest investments.

“Who handles them for you”

“Hmm?”

“Your investments, who handles them for you?”

“I haven’t really looked into it.” The bottom off your glass stares back at you, the rest of the alcohol now going down your throat.

“You should! Having a fickle business like yours isn’t going to keep you afloat for too long. Especially in a place like this. I could give you some recommendations on how to maximize your profits.” Your skin crawls. How satisfying it would be to yell at this man to shut the fuck up.

You don’t. You see the people around you, your customers. They have their usual orders, some have something else on a specific day, and some stick to the same baked goods day after day. You know them by name. You remember the stories they’ve told you, how something you made was shared with a loved one and new memories were made. John doesn’t seem like a person who would understand the value of memories since they’re not monetary.

Your friends clearly don’t have any idea what kind of a man you’d want to be with. To be fair, neither do you. But John? Setting you up with someone who is as interesting as the worn-out, uncared-for leather of his shoes, at least you can say who isn’t your type.

Sitting next to him, his knee still bumping against you, making your skin itch, even when you try to keep distance to him, listening to him ramble on about investing and profits, your friends would be bored out of their minds in your place as well.  Maybe they haven’t spoken with John. Maybe they haven’t even met him before. Your fingers find your gold chain against your chest. Its dainty links run between your thumb and forefinger, the familiar trail soothing you.

“If you’re free tomorrow, I could give you some tips on finding–“

“Look, John,” you cut him off with the drop of your necklace back against your skin. “You’re… clearly knowledgeable about money, and someone might be very interested in hearing about all of this. But that’s not me.”

“What are you saying then?” He’s genuinely surprised.

“I don’t think we should explore anything further.” You let him down gently and give him an apologetic look.

“Okay,” he tilts his head with deep creases across his forehead. “I’m a bit surprised. There’s not many, if any, people paying any attention on you here. I’m a catch looking for someone to carry his children who will become the next president or congressman some day and you’re just a bakery keeper who clearly has let herself go. But whatever, I’ll respect your honesty.” He says it all with a smile on his face, the insult somehow meant to sound like a compliment. His brows rise and fall after every other word, like they’re part of the conversation too. You stare at him, your mind blank, your mouth with a life of its own.

“What a small man,” you say to him and stand up with a laugh. He says something more, but you don’t stay to listen. There’s nothing more you’d want in this moment than get away from this man and to refill your glass with the punch served here.

It splashes against the edges of your glass when you make your way to the balcony. You want to hide from the people inside the party. From John. He can think whatever he wants, you’re not fazed by his rudeness, by anyone’s rudeness for that matter. It doesn’t mean what he said didn’t hurt you.

The dusky balcony is the place to be, away from the golden lights, the music and people who apparently don’t even see you. An unreasonable fear rises from the back of your mind with an image of John chasing after you onto the balcony, telling you how great he is and how generous he is for even agreeing on a blind date with you. You’d need to understand how this night wouldn’t change his life, but it would still change yours.

There’s a lonely chair behind the corner, away from direct eyeline of the celebrations. There’s barely any light here, only a small lantern next to a flower arrangement on a small table next to the chair. You sit down and relax. The drink feels good, comforting, on your over stimulated nerves. Muffled music and people talking, laughing, puts a rift between you and whatever is happening inside.

There haven’t been many moments when you are truly alone and when you are, you usually invite it with open arms. What follows that alone time is usually a guest you rarely want to invite along. Being alone is almost easy, being lonely always chips away at your heart. At the belief that maybe there’s someone out there somewhere for you as well.

You’ve accomplished so much in the last few years. You can be proud of so many things you’ve made happen by yourself. At the same time, you have to admit that it has all happened because you’ve been ready to sacrifice something.

You go with the flow, but you’re looking in at your own life rather than living it. You’re waiting for something without knowing what that could be. Apathy follows the gentle buzz of the alcohol in your system. You breathe deep against the coolness of the night. At least your skin isn’t pouring sweat while wondering which turn you forgot to take at some point in life to find a missing, nameless puzzle piece.

A clink and a soft scratch of glass. You’re ready to tell John to leave you alone. Instead, your eyes meet the deepest of ambers, sitting on the other side of the little table next to you where the lantern and flowers have been arranged. Someone laughs inside in a way that reminds you of a breathless donkey.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry,” he says while pushing his glass further from the edge of the table, his voice deep, soft like a cloud.

“I didn’t know someone was here.” You’re ready to stand up, find another hiding place and leave this man alone.

“I should’ve said something.” You nod at his words, unsure of what to do. Maybe he wants to be left alone…

“You know the couple?” He asks, cutting your plans to leave short.  

“I’m friends with Abigail.” He smiles, acknowledges your words and presses his hand against his chest.

“I’m one of the groomsmen.” You smile a tentative smile back and hear the conversation between you two die down.

Even when you’re not talking, you find yourself glued to your seat. His presence is overwhelming. It draws you in, makes you nervous with curiosity. He’s looking out into the vast darkness facing the farmhouse, forcing the building to become a lighthouse in the quiet. Your left side, his side, is vibrating from his nearness. The little hairs on your arm stand up, reaching for him. There’s electricity in the air, zinging gently, a hum in your ear as you listen to it. Listen to him take a deep breath in and push it out with slow force.

He's the one Abigail spoke with earlier. The one with the mustache and dark blue button up. The one who you’ve seen stop in front of your bakery but never come in. The town gossip train would help you recognize who he is, but you’ve tuned that station off.

You hear about some things regardless, while some other things aren’t for your ears, you’ve decided. Maybe that decision would be different if you had grown up in a small town like this, your life filled with people knowing what is happening in other people’s lives.

“Do you mind?” His question is hushed. There’s a cigarette between his fingers, and a question in the quirk of his brow. You shake your head and watch him pull out a lighter. It flickers a golden glow against his face when he has the cigarette hanging between his lips. The embers light up and then go to rest when he takes a drag, the smoke in his lungs until he breathes it out slowly. The cloud hangs in the air and drifts towards you. You inhale the rich aroma mixed with burning sweetness.

“I’m quitting in the New Year,” he tilts his head towards you, his eyes like black embers fixated on you through his lashes, in the lowlight of the candle and whatever light streams from the window.

“And this is your last one?” Your voice tunes itself to the quiet smokiness of his tone without you trying.

“Last, or second to last, I haven’t decided yet.” He rolls the butt against his fingers and flicks it. The burning flecks distinguish in the air. There’s loud cheering inside, rattling against the calm atmosphere outside.

The man looks inside, his focus on the noise as well. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“Abigail had set me up with Noah’s godawful friend, I had to take a break. Apparently, I need a plus one for the wedding.”

“With who?” Another drag from the cigarette.

“John?” He nods at your answer, and blows out the smoke to the opposite direction from you.

“They’re not close, not really even friends,” the man muses and turns his eyes on you.

Like an electric shock, you have to turn away from him and stare out towards the dark. This man is intense, demanding in a gentle way, his attention on you and only you. He’s not filling a silence with useless noise, but with observing. You run your necklace between your fingers again, twist it around one and draw a line against your skin over and over.

“I think she just wanted me to find someone.” Wish that someone wasn’t a self-important dickhead.

“The wedding isn’t in months.”

“My friends know I need time to think, and to take it slow.” The man inhales from his cigarette again and raises his brows in what could only mean silent disbelief.

“What?”

“Just wondering why Abigail wanted to set you up with an asshole like John, everyone knows he’s a player.” His words pour on you like ice. The more you repeat the last part in your head, the more convinced you are it wasn’t a serious setup, but a foolish prank.

Maybe listening to the grapevine would’ve been a good thing at least once. You take a big sip of your drink and let it burn in your throat as you swallow it down slowly.

There’s more cheering and clapping coming from inside, pulling you to look in at the party as well. Abigail is standing in front of the guests, Mary and Eileen next to her. Abigail has a pouch in her hand, where Eileen is digging something from.

“And why aren’t you apart of that?” The man’s low voice rumbles slowly against your eardrums.

Mary and Eileen open something in their hands, small pieces of paper, and show them to the other guests. People, mostly women, erupt into gleeful joy. Bridesmaid and maid of honor. “I don’t know.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“Why aren’t you in there celebrating?” You turn the question to him with a determined smile tugging against your cheeks. You should’ve known you won’t be part of the wedding party, it shouldn’t be a surprise. It shouldn’t hurt. You cover it with the smile and hope it will ease the sting.

The man notices your attempt at directing the focus away from yourself. He takes one last drag and then stubs the cigarette against an ashtray on the floor. He blows the smoke from his lungs and manages to turn more towards you.

He spreads his legs in the rickety garden chair, but his point isn’t to establish dominance like John, but to slide down and relax in the too small chair in his snuggly fitting dark jeans.

“I had to take a break,” he repeats your answer back to you. From his mouth it’s vague, words that hold some other meaning that he’s debating sharing with you. “Abigail is busy playing matchmaker in there.” He tilts his head to lean his temple against his fingers, his elbow perfectly perched on the arm of the chair.

Him facing you, his chin lifted, the amber of his eyes flickering in the candlelight, draws heat to the surface of your skin. Your chest, the back of your neck, your cheeks. It’s annoying that this stranger can cause a reaction like it.

You want to defy it and push back. You face him as well, stare him right in the eyes. Lava splashes on you from your head to your toes. Your palms sweat and you swallow, still with a calm smile on your face. It has become your safety blanket that you can hide behind. No matter if it’s a true kindness or you’re killing someone with it, the smile is familiar to you now.

“She found someone for you as well?”

“She suggested it, but I turned her down.”

“And that’s why you had to take a break?”

“No, it was because of the other guests.” He looks away. A small victory you didn’t think you’d get. His answer stirs the win into confusion.

“Why?” A question you have no right to ask, out of your mouth before you even consider asking it.

He lifts his eyes back to you, the look in them warm but laced with a warning. It’s not your place to know. It’s a question too complicated in its simplicity, the answer even simpler, yet more complicated.

Two can play this game. Who hides better behind a mask? Who stays calm when someone tries to crawl under the other’s skin? He’s a master at it, catching you off guard, letting you think you had won him in the game he has perfected over the years.

You’re knocked off the number one spot and he figures it out immediately, when your smile cracks and you have to hide behind the excuse of taking a sip from your glass. There’s only a little left, one more mouthful and you’re done. You don’t want to see his victory, but you also don’t want to seem scared.

The look on his face isn’t victory. Instead, you’re met with a man who is deep in thought. His brows are lightly pulled together, defining the two small lines between them. His eyes are veiled, only a slight shine from the candle still reaching them. Yes, he won.

“Well, I think it’s my time to go.” He snaps out of his thoughts. The watch on his wrist flashes with the reflection of light hitting the glass face.

“It’s not even midnight yet.” He sounds almost alarmed.

You circle the drink in your glass a couple of times and see his glass on the table. You stand up, lean over the table and smile more to the empty glass than to him. “Happy New Year,” you say out loud and clink your glasses together. The sweet and sour taste is soothing and if you were alone, you probably would drink a few more to ring in the special evening.

“I’ll see you around,” you tell the man who follows your every move. He watches your hand as you place your glass next to his. He watches you wipe at the backside of your jeans to make sure there’s no dust on them from the chair. His eyes are burning against your back as you leave him sitting on the old, weathered chair.

Someone opens the door to the balcony and sticks their head out. Noah.

“Hey, have you seen Javi?” his voice is a little hoarse, joy on the corners of his eyes.

“Who?”

“Javier, dark shirt, jeans, brown hair…” the man’s presence appears on your back, lifting all the hairs of your skin again, heat coursing through you.

“I’m here,” his voice is like the stickiest and sweetest honey. It’s also much closer than you anticipated. You look over your shoulder. Javier is right behind you, his chest almost against your back. Noah’s face lights up, clearly pleased he found his friend.

“Is Abigail somewhere? I’m going to be heading out, I just want to congratulate her once more.” Javier stands still and manages to shake your voice only by being close to you.

“But it’s not even midnight yet, you should stay a bit longer,” Noah pleads, a relaxed slurring in his speech.

“I think I’m done for the night, just too tired to keep on partying. Thank you for inviting me and congratulations once more.” You hug Noah, genuinely happy for him. His tan skin glows with pure excitement.

“Can you believe her, leaving before midnight on New Year’s Eve.” Noah points his thumb at you, the jokey question directed at Javier.

“I know, almost like tonight doesn’t change anything.” His sarcasm makes you snort, and Noah fake a laugh.

“Abi is downstairs. Thanks for coming, and thank you for the gift,” he winks at you, the promised wedding cake now apparently confirmed.

Abigail entertains some older people, talking with them, sharing moments from how she met Noah and how he proposed. You barely get a word in and her answer to you leaving is: “Okay, I’ll call you.” before she’s back to talking with the people who have made her their center of attention.

Luckily Mrs. Sánchez is on her way out with her husband, taking you to town. You have one neighbor, living in the apartment on the other side of the corridor from you on top of the carpenter shop. You’ve met him plenty of times since you moved in six years ago, but you can’t for the life of you remember his name.

You’re already sleeping, groggy and confused when you hear your neighbor counting down from 10 with his guests, the cheering overwhelming even through your wall. Auld Lang Syne starts to play, and you lay in bed, staring at the blank surface of your ceiling. Not even the streetlights can light your apartment enough.

Maybe this year you’ll push yourself to enjoy your life rather than watch it pass you by. You make the resolution before you fall back asleep, barely remembering it the next morning.

Time ticks on even after midnight and the days after don’t create a limbo effect anymore when you go to work. It’s darkest when you wake up at 3.15 and head to the bakery thirty minutes later. The morning rises as you’re tipping proofed loafs from their baskets onto the floured wooden table for scoring. You’re trying a new leaf design, lashing the surface with a sharp blade that glides against the dough like butter.

When you’ve pushed the loaves into the oven you take the next trolley of bread from the walk-in fridge and under the zippered hoods you uncover what you made yesterday in preparation for today, buttery wheat loaves in their neat little rectangle pans. One trolley after the other you solve the walk-in fridge puzzle, pulling out hooded trolleys. Yellow hoods for sweet products, blue for savory.

“Morning!” Lili, your bakery assistant, greets as she walks in from the small locker room. Unlike you, who stayed up too late writing down ideas for Abigail and Noah’s wedding cake, her under eyes are bright and her voice clear after a well-rested night.

“Good morning,” you croak and clear your throat right after. Your shoulder complains as you fill in the vanilla tartlets, row after row of neat custardy pies waiting for a couple of slices of syrupy lemons Lili has prepared for them.

As the shop fills with the fresh loaves, rolls and biscuits, the last sweet things are baking in the ovens, filling the bakery and shop with a sugary, toasty smell. Butter, nuts, fruits, spices and chocolate, are like a dessert after the early morning savory baking.

You’re filling cream puffs when the doors open and the first customer walks in. You have the bakery door open but can’t see the shop from your sturdy work table. You can only listen to the sounds that indicate your work paying off.

The bell above the door tinkles constantly, people walking in and out with fresh goods in paper bags and bakery carton boxes, careful not to shake or mush anything that is even a little more fragile than the thick crusted breads.

Lili’s enthusiastic voice answers questions with a constant smile. “Yes, these have a hazelnut and chocolate filling.” “There is ginger and clove in the cookie dough.” “It’s the freshest today, but you can use the rest for bread pudding or French toast in the next few days.” “Sadly, that was our December limited edition cupcake, but we’re planning something for Easter.”

If she’s not answering questions, then she’s taking down orders and repeating every detail to get everything right. The free spots in your calendar for orders are filling out fast. You’re counting each one in your head after Lili repeats them, checking off the orders list you remember by heart. Someone asks for a wedding cake order for July, one already taken by Abigail and Noah.

“Mr. Peña is here,” Lili sticks her head into the bakery, pulling you from weighing ingredients for sticky cinnamon rolls. It’s eleven in the morning, you’re about thirty minutes early from your work schedule. The radio in the corner plays an older song softly, the words flowing from your mouth in a quiet hum. You wash your hands and check your face, wiping the remaining moisture from your temples as the ovens are finally cooling down. You take the small bakery box full of pistachio cream puffs from the fridge and take it to the register.

Seeing the shop full is always overwhelming, almost intimidating, especially when most look at you as they see you walking out of the bakery.

“Morning everyone,” you greet with easiness, the words wiping away your nerves. Mr. Peña is third in line, standing with someone who is looking at the small packets of chocolate confections that were leftover from your New Year’s specials.

You take one of the raisin and cashew loafs from the shelf and push it into a brown paper bag, and wheat knot rolls into another bag.

“Mr. Peña, what can I get for you?” Lili asks, her voice a little higher and squeakier than normal.

“Those ham and cheese muffins are looking fine today,” his voice rumbles. You smile to yourself as you pack a few lemon and poppyseed cookies into a box.

“¿Quieres algo dulce?” He asks his companion just as you turn with all the baked goods in your arms. You lay them on the table next to the register, Lili taping the muffin box closed and getting to work typing the prices as zero dollars.

“What’s this?” Mr. Peña asks under his brown, wide brimmed cowboy hat.

“You gave me the tip about Arnold’s shop, and he came to fix the oven right before New Year’s. It’s as good as new now. He also checked the other one, to see if it has the same problem with the wiring. This is the least I can give you as a thank you.” If you had ordered someone to come in from further, you would’ve paid a pretty penny for a simple fix that was done in fifteen minutes. You couldn’t be more grateful for Mr. Peña suggesting someone who he trusts.

“That was nothing, Sam is an old friend, he would miss his own funeral just to fix appliances,” he laughs and gives room for his companion to step next to him. Javier’s eyes bore into yours, a soft smile in them. He lays the little confection box on the table next to the breads and sweets.

“This is my son, Javier.” He pushes his aviator sunglasses into the neckline of his pink button up t-shirt.

“We met at Noah’s party a few days ago,” Javier says, making you nod along with his words.

“Oh! Well, then you need to know this little lady makes the best cream puffs in town,” Mr. Peña directs his attention to you. The smile lines get deep right by his eyes when the corners of his mouth turn up.

Javier hums in recognition, patiently watching you try to gather your thoughts. The two men look the same as they stand next to each other, the generation the only thing setting them apart. Javier seems to tower over his dad, his back straight and his shoulders wider with age pressing them forward for his dad.

“That’s a bit over exaggerated isn’t it, since there’s no other bakeries in town,” you turn the compliment into a joke, and your focus back to Javier’s dad to get yourself to calm down. Javier’s presence makes perspiration prickle at the small of your back.

“That’s why I said the best in town,” Mr. Peña jokes back.

“Exactly!” The shared laugh eases your discomfort. Why Javier makes you nervous, you haven’t decided yet.

“So, how much do I have to pay for these?”

“Nothing. Like I said, it’s the least I can do to thank you.”

“No, of course I pay, this is too much.”

“Mr. Peña, you helped me when you didn’t have to. These are on the house.” The people behind Javier and his dad are starting to get curious about what you’re giving away for free.

“Please, call me Chucho, I come here often enough for us to be in first name basis. And I already know your name, have known it longer than you’ve known there is a ‘Mister Peña’,” he tries to mimic your voice but only makes it sound like a mockery of you. He mumbles “sorry,” under his breath, all forgiven with a smile you give him back.

“What about these?” Lili asks with a quieter voice, the confections in her hand.

“I’ll pay for those,”

“And that’s Javier, you can call him by his first name as well.” His dad says pointedly. In a way he reminds you of your grandpa and how warmly he too always spoke even when to teach you about something more serious, like how to ask nicely, or when you needed help with your homework, and he checked where you had gone wrong.  

“Chucho,” you nod your head towards him, “Javier,” you say his name and it tickles against your tongue. The other side of his mouth rises.

“Javier will pay for the candy, and I want a couple of those lemon things over there,” Chucho points in the display. The vanilla tartlets you worked on just a couple of hours earlier.

“Yo los pago, papá,” Javier mutters when you pick up a carton and fold it into a box, placing two tartlets into it. Lili is already ringing him up when you place the box next to her.

“Have you changed the products?” Chucho asks, looking at the display more carefully.

“There are a couple new things, like these blueberry swirl cupcakes and these hazelnut cookies.” You point them out for him and notice Javier checking out the items as well. “Don’t worry, I’m not taking out the favorites,” you nod towards the pistachio cream puffs that have become Chucho’s regular order. He winks at you, like a secret has been exchanged between you two. Lili packs all the goods into a paper bag and hands it over to Javier.

“Thank you,” Chucho tips his hat and drops money into the tip jar.

“Thank you,” Lili yells after checking how much he gave. You greet the next customers while leaving to go back to work, watching the pair as they walk out the door and to Chucho’s truck.

As the day goes on, the bell above the door tinkles less. The noises from people talking quiets down and Lili’s answers and order taking slows until there’s no more questions or orders to be made.

“Only a couple of cupcakes, cookies, and rolls left,” she informs as she joins you to help with dough mixing and making products for the next day. You work like a well-oiled machine that has been in use for a hundred years. You turn the radio a little louder and the both of you sing along to songs that you both know either from your childhoods or ones that have been playing nonstop since they came out in the last year.

“Can you make the puff pastry, I’ll make inventory and clean up the front.” You massage your shoulder, the pain burning under your shoulder blade.

The day is warm, warmer than usual, people wearing shorter sleeved shirts as they pass the shop. The air is humid, yet still dust settles on surfaces. You write in your notebook all the products sold, keeping note of the ones that have leftovers, before packing them in discount packets to get them sold before closing.

The industrial dishwasher rumbles on the other side of the wall as you’re wiping down the display cases. The door opens and the bell jingles, followed by footsteps that stop at the door. You look over your shoulder, the pink shirt on Javier like an alarm for your system.

“Hi,” you straighten your back and finish cleaning the glass.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?” He takes his sunglasses off and hangs them off his shirt again.

“No, no, we’re still open. Did you forget something? Or maybe Mr. Peña wanted something more? I’m sorry we sold out everything you got, tomorrow I’ll be selling more again.” Javier breathes out a silent laugh listening to you ramble nervously, his eyes landing on the empty shelves.

“I’m sure he’d buy more if there was some left, and you can call him Chucho.” You bend your head down when his eyes meet yours. “That’s not why I’m here for.” He walks over to the register with you on the other side. He places his hand on the table, curiously taking in the empty shop.

“What can I get for you then?”

“Have you had any luck finding a date for the wedding?”

“Oh,” his question surprises you. “I haven’t even thought about that. I can guarantee it’s not going to be John. Why?” He nods, watching your lips as they move around the words. He presses his hand into a fist, opening his mouth once, then closing it, contemplating whatever he has on his mind.

“I was wondering…” He stops, his lashes dark against the tops of his cheeks as he has trouble looking at you in the eye. Until he does and forces you to swallow against the sandpaper in your mouth.

“Noah said something… And I remembered what you said about Abigail wanting you to have a date… Being single at a wedding can be…” The broken sentences raise your pulse. “What if we’d go to the wedding together?” Your pulse pauses for a second until it picks up like a storm.

“You make it sound like someone’s going to pair you up with someone more awful unless you do something about it first?” You’re surprised how even your voice sounds even though pins and needles run up and down your skin and your insides are in a turmoil.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come off that way.” Javier shakes his head fast, his eyes flashing to you in fear that you’d understand him wrong. “My old man has been eager to know if he needs to know a name before the wedding. It’s a hassle if I won’t deal with that in time.” He almost manages to calm the tempest. You join his chuckling, imagining Chucho pressing his son about finding a plus one for a wedding where his friends are already paired off.

“Look,” you begin, forcing yourself to calm down and think clearly. “It’s a nice offer, but I’m not looking for anything, I don’t have time for it. Abigail setting me up at the party was weird and I’m not concerned about finding a date. I honestly don’t care what people say or think. She just wants me to have someone and not end up alone when she’s busy having brunches and dinners with her married friends.” Javier’s eyes narrow the longer you speak, your last words like icing on a cake for someone who observes as closely as Javier does. You realize how you make yourself sound pathetic and Abigail like an asshole immediately after.

“I’m not looking for anything either, I was thinking it more as an arrangement of sorts.”

“An arrangement?”

“Yeah. I have a lot of groomsmen, ah…” he looks for the words, “whatever wedding things coming up and I know I’ll be put between a rock and a hard place unless I have a date. We could go together, avoid the awkward blind dates and we’d let people know we’re each other’s dates.” What he means with him being between two undesirable options confuses you, but the possibility of Abigail setting you up with someone like John again is high enough for you to get interested in Javier’s suggestion.

“So, you mean we’d fake dating each other?”

He’s unblinking for a moment, until he inhales and pushes the breath out with a “I guess so.”

“Sounds like you’ve read too many romance books.” The lighthearted joke makes him laugh. “Don’t you think it’d be awkward?”

“If we’re okay with it, no, I don’t think so. We could get to know the basics of each other and that would be it. You don’t have to spend your time with me any more than you have to.” He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and places it on the table. “Think about it.” He pushes the paper towards you. You take it, and it’s still warm. He has written his number on it neatly, Javier with a swoopy J on top.

A couple walks in. The bell startles you both. Javier steps back and takes his sunglasses from his shirt.

“Let me know, okay?” He raises his brows in question, and you answer with a nod. The couple beelines for the leftovers, talking in hushed tones, while the bell dings and Javier leaves without a second look back.

“I knew we should’ve come sooner,” the woman hisses and huffs.

“We’re open tomorrow, if you’re looking for something specific,” you try to get back into the moment, but end up following Javier push his sunglasses up his nose and jog across the street to his truck before a car crawls past.

Never would you have thought a piece of paper could be heavy but here you are, aware of its existence in your jeans pocket under your apron. The offer is appealing, you can’t deny that. The thought of having someone steady by your side, people not asking if you have a date, mainly Abigail, and not needing to think about the whole date thing, would be a weight off your shoulders. You could focus on the more pressing matters.

The couple buys the bread rolls, one more tick for you to write into your notebook. You finish preparing everything with Lili and when you turn the lights off a the end of the day, your brain is fried from thinking what to do with Javier’s suggestion.

The hot shower at home is heaven against your shoulder, loosening the tense muscle. It doesn’t wash away Javier’s suggestion though. You dry yourself, and you wouldn’t have to think about a plus one anymore. You warm up leftovers from yesterday, and you wonder how you could relax around Javier who has the ability to get your thoughts and blood roiling. You sit on the couch and get hurt once more thinking about John and if it was all a joke for Abigail to set you up with him.

You dig the pockets of your jeans and find the paper, still folded in half, his handwriting against your fingertips.

“Peña,” you hear Chucho answer. His joyful laughter after you say who’s calling makes you smile as well.

“Don’t say you’re giving us more bread and pastries. I’ll pay for them the next time.” There’s rustling on his end before you have a chance to answer, Javier’s voice muttering something to his dad.

“Hello,” his voice is softer, less deep as his father’s yet still deep enough for you to have it rattle your spine.

“Hi.”

“Sorry, I got a new number a couple of weeks ago and I’m not used to using it yet, gave you the house number by accident.” If you knew him any better, you’d say Javier is nervous.

“That’s okay. I wanted to call and ask if you’re really up for it, fake dating?” he chuckles quietly, almost like he wouldn’t want to make his dad question why you’re calling his son in the evening.

“I’d still call it just an arrangement, but yeah. That’s why I asked you.” You grind your teeth together, nervous about what you’re getting yourself into.

“Okay, let’s do it then.”

[multimousenette]

bkdkbk longfic recs

for @miss-multifandom-mess, who wanted fics that are:

Long & completed ☑️

Good balance of genres: angst, comedy, romance, the package deal

Accurate bakudeku (as a pair and individually)

Great dynamic 👍

Izuku is not ‘feminized’ or made uwu

I'll give title (linked to the fic) & author, word count, rating, dynamic if relevant*, content warnings, major tags and a synopsis.

I'll also put them in the following categories:

Canon compliant: this does not disagree with canon in any way (eg. character study of Kacchan during dark hero arc, anything during the 8 year time skip that has Kacchan saving up/Deku teaching)

Canon consistent: yeah that could more or less be canon (eg future pro heroes especially where deku keeps OFA)

Canon divergent: something during canon actively changes, but the world is the same (eg. becoming friends in middle school, one of them is on a different course, pro heroes but my gut says it's too far away to be really canon consistent)

Canon adjacent: feels like canon except for one Major Thing (eg. omegaverse, (non-quirk related) hanahaki but still heroes)

Alternate Universe (AU): completely different universe (eg fantasy, sci-fi, or no quirks)

*it ended up being mostly either bkdkbk (ie switching) or dkbk -- I've highlighted these red just in case, but I've included them cos people tend to use bkdk for the ship generally if they don't have a preference, and I couldn't see anything saying you were fixed bkdk on your acc

... and I'll put them below the cut cos this is already so long oh my god

In order of word count (high -> low):

I Will Find You by Purple_Insomniac (174k, T, canon consistent)

CW: Alt universe character death

Major tags: Parallel universes, angst w a happy ending.

Deku disappears in the middle of a rescue mission. Turns out, thanks to some OFA weirdness, the person who sent Izuku into an alternate universe… doesn’t know which one he’s in. Somehow, Izuku and Katsuki can speak in the OFA Vestige Realm, but it’s still a total nightmare trying to find which universe Izuku’s in — let alone bringing him home.

For it is Something That We Lost by TheGraveyardChild (160k, E, top Deku, canon divergent)

CW: past domestic abuse, past child abuse.

Major tags: Kidfic, angst with a happy ending.

Number four pro hero Dynamight returns to his hometown, but — to (number five pro hero) Deku’s surprise — he’s kind of flaky now. Turns out, this is because he has a daughter, and they’ve only just escaped his abusive ex. Slowly, Katsuki and Deku grow close again, but everything’s complicated when they start work on a child kidnapping/trafficking case — especially when Katsuki’s daughter is caught up in it.

Halfway to the Moon (But the Sun is So Bright) by Catsired (105k, T, canon divergent)

CW: Graphic depictions of abuse and self harm; depressed & suicidal Izuku; physically, financially, emotionally and verbally abusive Hisashi; bullying; mild homophobia.

Major tags: Middle School AU, Slow burn, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending.

Izuku has a lot on his plate. It’s his final year of middle school and between his training with All Might, the part time job he’s picked up to help his mum with bills, and Kacchan… being Kacchan, he’s about ready to drop. And then his dad comes home, and his mum is so happy he can’t bear to tell her that Hisashi hits him. Meanwhile, Katsuki notices there’s something up with Shitty Deku and somehow decides it’s his responsibility to fix it. And maybe, as they grow closer, he finds that doesn’t hate Deku so much anymore. Maybe he never really did.

Surprise Reunions and Childhood Rekindlings by ladyofsnails (90k, G, AU)

Major tags: Slice of life, no quirks AU, uni/college AU, mutual pining, FLUFF.

Izuku and Katsuki haven’t seen each other in five years, but it turns out their friends are friends — and incredibly shocked (and concerned) when the first thing Katsuki and Izuku do upon meeting is start roughhousing. The two of them fall straight back into their chaotic childhood dynamic… and in love. Obviously.

After All We’ve Been Through (You get turned into a fucking rabbit) by TigerLilies64 (88k, E, switching, canon consistent).

Major tags: crack treated seriously, fluff, hurt/comfort.

Pro hero Deku gets hit by a quirk that turns him into a rabbit hybrid. To make matters worse, he shapeshifts into an actual rabbit when his heart rate gets too high. Kacchan... helps. 

Tidal Hearts by macksmilesback and SamIsNotLegend (83k, T, AU) 

Major tags: h2o just add water/early 2000s mermaid AU, high school drama, mild angst, fluff.

Izuku and Katsuki were best friends as kids, but that all changes after they nearly drown while swimming in the ocean and Inko moves her and Izuku away. Years later, they reunite, and after Katsuki saves Izuku from a nasty hazing prank, end up… growing a tail any time they get wet. Well, that’s one way to spend their senior year of high school!

The Spell in Her Name by MerryWeatherWeather (62k, E, top Katsuki, canon divergent)

CW: Past OC teacher/student relationship, past minor character death, past child abandonment.

Major tags: kidfic, domestic fluff, mutual pining, angst. 

Pro hero Katsuki returns from working in the US and due to some complications, has nowhere to live, so pitches up at Deku’s house — and is shocked to discover that Deku has a child. Turns out, she was abandoned on his doorstep as a baby, and he took her in. When her mother initiates a public custody battle, Deku will do anything to keep his daughter — and Kacchan will do anything to help.

just for your love (I’ll give you the world) by thwnderpoint (52k, E, top deku, canon consistent)

Major tags: idiots to lovers, (light) angst with a happy ending, mutual pining.

Katsuki confesses to Izuku, and Izuku doesn’t want Kacchan to suffer or feel like he has to hold back his feelings. So he tells him not to. Kacchan takes this offer and runs with it. Izuku quickly realises that while he hadn’t considered Kacchan as a romantic option, he is in fact absolutely in love with him… but Kacchan thinks Izuku deserves better than him. Izuku, of course, can’t let that stand. And now they’re engaged in some sort of psychological flirt-off, much to the dismay of everyone around them.

Photo Op by whitetail (50k, M, top deku, canon adjacent)

CW: transphobia, gender dysphoria

Note: I LOVE the characterisation of Deku, he’s an absolute disaster, but I can see that it might be love it or hate it as the author does exaggerate his social issues a lot. This Deku is explicitly, intentionally autistic and it's a close third person POV so we're very much in his head... which is kind of a mess.

Major tags: trans izuku, autistic izuku, massive simp kacchan, comedy of errors, miscommunication, light angst.

Pro hero Deku has PR crisis after PR crisis and now the whole world knows about his Dynamight thirst blog and he’s newly insecure about his bottom surgery. And for some reason, Kacchan won’t stop asking him (him!!) to join him for a photoshoot, as if Deku’s stupid ugly face won’t ruin everything again. Still, he can’t say no to Kacchan… 

In Another Life by hollyandvice (44k, M, canon consistent)

Major tags: Parallel universes, grief/mourning, angst with a happy ending.

While fighting a villain, Kacchan disappears. Turns out, the villain has a parallel universe swapping quirk, and he was aiming to swap number one hero Deku for a quirkless civilian. Except, the only world the villain could find where Deku isn’t a hero is one where Kacchan is dead — so when Katsuki took the blow, no one swapped with him, and now no one knows how to get him back. Meanwhile, Katsuki discovers a dystopian world where half his friends are dead or injured — not to mention this world’s Deku, who is all sorts of broken up over meeting an adult Kacchan. Will he be able to fix the problems with this world before he gets home? And which world will he choose to stay in?

last days of war by antisora (44k, M, AU)

Major tags: Pacific Rim AU, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings.

Note: I've never watched pacific rim and had no issues with understanding what was going on. Author said there were lots of references, but you don't need existing knowledge to enjoy this.

All Izuku’s ever wanted is to save the world with his best friend… but his life doesn’t seem to be headed in that direction, especially when he doesn’t make it through the physical entrance exam for the best Jaeger pilot training school, UA. But after seeing him ace a Kaiju simulation, the world’s greatest ranger, All Might, intervenes, and Izuku is able to enrol at UA after all. Unsurprisingly, Kacchan’s there too — and their drift compatibility is through the roof. Much to Izuku’s dismay, even piloting a Jaeger together isn’t enough to regain their close friendship as children. Will almost dying (twice) be enough for them to finally be truly honest with each other?

The Time Between Our Lives by Fitzrovia (36k (56k inc. sequels), E, switching, canon divergent and AU)

Major tags: Hurt/comfort, angst w a happy ending.

Deku and Kacchan are sent back in time by a villain’s quirk and end up in an abandoned temple, quirkless. In order to escape — and return to their old lives — they must rake the gravel in the garden into a design that shows the beauty of all life. It takes a very, very long time.

Spacewalk by SamIsNotLegend (35k, M, AU)

CW: Major character death

Major tags: Sci-Fi/Horror, angst w a happy ending, grief/mourning.

Astronauts Izuku and Katsuki are set to co-lead the first manned mission to Jupiter… but a year and a half before launch, Izuku is hit by a car and dies. Katsuki has to lead the mission — their mission — alone, and sure enough, everything goes wrong. And keeps going wrong… until it starts going right. 

and a bonus totally-not-a-longfic-but-it-slaps:

Vertigo by Cyhyr (15k, T, canon adjacent)

Major tags: hanahaki, angst with a happy ending.

Pro hero Deku has hanahaki. He makes a plan to run away and just... die (when it gets too severe to keep working), but he didn’t account for Kacchan. 

[pankowblues]

pairing: rafe cameron x reader fake dating

summary: fake dating Rafe Cameron and but you two end up falling in love

warnings: kissing ig

word count: 911

a/n: idk i have nothing to say but the dividers ill fix one day i dont like how there so big what are your thoughts on them please share

You and Rafe walk hand in hand inside your kitchen into your kitchen where Rafe’s family and yours is sitting. You and Rafe had to start fake dating for your parents to I guess like you more? You don’t even know why. “You don’t have to kiss… just give me a peck on the cheek” you whisper to him as you guys walk him. He listens and fake smiles to your parents and gives you a little peck. You guys go and sit down in your seats and start eating dinner not really doing anything with each other as you are just eating. Rafe starts to speak “"These kisses are just temporary. We'll separate soon enough." He then kisses you on the lips and you not expecting it. And Lowkey he’s a really really good kisser but then you remember you don’t like him so you stop thinking like that.

The next time you and Rafe have to do this whole couples stuff again and this time it was your dad’s friend engagement party. You and rafe come inside the place where the party is being held not really holding hands. “Can you put on a smile? You look like you're ready to dig your own grave." You tell him "For a matter of fact, l am.” You just scoff and continue walking. The majority of people know you guys are “dating” but you will need to make it believable. You guys take your seat but about 15 minutes in you guys are sooo bored and you guys start making small talk which leads to conversations. Who knew you could relate to Rafe so much.

As the weeks went on you and Rafe surprisingly texted more. And as time went on things like unknowingly holding hands, even when you are not in front of family or friends, getting used to making two servings of everything, Sitting close to each other, and sharing glances across rooms all became habits.

Then the day of your birthday came. You got a ton gifts from everyone. Even Rafe, he got you a Tiffany necklace, jellycat, and some makeup (he had to ask Sarah for help ofc). It’s later at night and you’re at the bar with your all friends from school. Boys and girls so your “boyfriend” was there. Everyone was dancing and you were standing by the bar when Rafe came up to you. "Let's dance, yeah? It's your birthday, they'll be suspicious if we don't." He told you as he held his hand out. You nodded and took it and walked to the floor. Once you got home you texted Rafe you were home since he told you too which was also something he didn’t have to do but still did.

At some point fake smiles turn into genuine ones and both of you wanted to be there for the other one, even though you two aren't even a 'real' couple. You and Rafe walked to the beach with his hand on you back keeping you close. As you two sat down on the sand Rafe looked at you making eye contact. For the first time you looked deep into his eyes and you and him just gazed at each other with so much love in your guys eyes. "Kiss me." He whispers "What? We don't have to pretend right now." "I know, but I need one right now." You kiss for the first time that was meaningful, and genuine. The kiss meant a lot, more than it should have. Where would this put you two now?

This is where things went downhill. He started distancing himself from you because they started to think that there is definitely something wrong with him. You were getting really upset, mad, confused and a lot more feelings. You didn’t know what you did wrong. Then the day came where he finally came to your house with flowers and chocolate and his hair was so messy. Matter of fact he was messy. But he did something you didn’t see coming. He started tearing up and started confessing his love to you.

"Listen I...I love you. I don't know if it's okay to fall in love with your best friend, but I love you. And it's fine, if you don't love me back, because loving you has been the easiest thing I've ever done, and I'd never stop loving you even if you didn't love me back. And I’ve been distancing myself cause I can’t seem to figure out if I really do love you but I know I do I know it" By the time he was finished he had tears down his face and so did you.

You stare at him in awe, tilting your head "You know what? It is okay to love your best friend, because that's what I've done as well. And I would've never knew that you also love me, if you never said it. So let me say this, I love you too. And I understand you don’t know how you felt but you need to learn to talk out your feelings Rafe"

He pulls you in by your waist and slowly kisses you and the tears that run down both of your cheeks while doing so. The kiss showed love, passion, forgiveness. He pulled away putting his forehead on yours. “May you do the honors of being my real girlfriend” he says smiling. “Yes of course” you say giggling.

taglist: @rafecameroncoke, @0xstarzx0, @wearemadeofstardust0, @v4mqvs, @aariahnaa, @congratsloserr

[aclowntiny]

I was re-reading your works and then the 'how Ateez would confess to you inspired me!'

I was thinking: how would Ateez tell the other members you're dating!

You- you were rereading my works TIME TO CRY 🥹😭🥰 that means the world!!! Ok but in all related topics I have definite thoughts on this LET’S GOOOOOO

How Ateez Tell the Other Members You’re Dating

Hongjoong

It’s the biggest deal for him honestly because he’s the captain and all. It’s all well within his rights and Hongjoong feels strongly about you otherwise he wouldn’t be pursuing this, but still he has a duty to serve as an example for everyone.

He sits down with you first, looking so serious as he resides across from you in his wheeled office chair. You can’t help the sympathetic fall of your face as his deep brown eyes bore into you. But when he twists in his seat, cushion rotating beneath him, and asks how you’d feel about telling the guys, your expression turns to a smile. The excitement you wear is infectious and soon your hands are joined as if to transfer warm strength and energy while you plan the moment.

The next week, all of Ateez was gathered by their captain, who you agreed to lead the conversation as the group’s leading figure, but you stayed firmly by his side. He couldn’t have done it without you.

“I just wanted to tell you guys that as we’ve gotten to know each other,” Hongjoong began, leaning one hand on the edge of the table in the room as the other brushed yours at his side, “(y/n) and I, well, we’re more than friends.”

The other seven men all burst into choruses of excitement, teasing, and far more I knew its than you two had anticipated, your heart flipping at the thought of your chemistry being so obvious.

While Wooyoung and San made jokes to Hongjoong, Jongho and Yeosang stayed by you with soft smiles.

“Hongjoong needs someone like you. I’m glad you’re here to make him happy,” Ateez’s maknae tells you, and all you can do is rest a hand on his shoulder and smile, your other one finally falling into your boyfriend’s in front of everybody.

“Why were you so professional about it?” You heard Wooyoung laughing, totally interrupting the sweet moment. "And what did you mean by more than just friends, are you best friends?"

Ah, Ateez. How you loved your boyfriend’s crazy family.

Seonghwa

“Hey, you and (y/n) should date!” A comment from Mingi is all it takes for the walls of secrecy to begin to fall.

“Uh,” Seonghwa plays dumb, “why?”

“Because,” Mingi begins rambling, eyes wide and shiny like something out of an anime, “you guys always play legos together and (y/n) actually listens to all your ASMRs and-”

At this, Ateez’s eldest holds up a hand. “We don’t play legos, we build them. And besides, I’ve built them with San too. Should I date San?” At the mere ridiculous thought, an honest, not even nervous laugh escapes him. San is great and all, but ew.

“Noooo,” Mingi insists, “it’s different with you and (y/n). The way you look at each other and the way you laugh is so cute! I bet you anything if you had feelings they’d be returned! Just confess! Date!-”. Mingi inhales, probably about to add ‘kiss!’ or something, when Seonghwa cuts him off again, chuckling and shaking his head. This is how it is with kids, huh?

“Alright,” he nods, “fine. You’re right. I’ll confess and we’ll date. Guess you could tell how much I like (y/n), didn’t you?” Seonghwa adds with a chuckle. Stars in his eyes, Mingi nods, commenting something about Hongjoong suspecting too, and Seonghwa heads back to the other room out of the hall to where you were.

“Hey, (y/n)?” Seonghwa’s heart melts immediately at the way your head cocks like a little puppy when you hear his voice.

“Yes?” You reply.

“I really like you. We should date.”

“Oh, yeah?” You giggle at what you take as a joke, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Well,” you kiss his cheek, “I accept.”

“Did it work? I saw you guys kiss! It worked, huh?” The tall rapper called from down the hall.

“Oh,” you giggle again, “I didn’t know someone was watching.”

“Yeah, Mingi seems to think we’re perfect for each other.”

Still holding Seonghwa’s side with one hand, you cup the other around your mouth to call back, “Well, I agree, Mingi! That’s why we’re already dating!”

“WHAT?!?!” Mingi yells and San’s head pops out of a doorway shouting the same thing.

Yeah, cat’s definitely out of the bag now.

Yunho

There was no one else he'd rather do this with. Yunho had chosen you to be his partner for a new dance routine he wanted to practice, a close couples' performance that has him smiling cheekily just watching it. Even if it's not seen on a large stage, it's a development in his skills as well as something he hopes you'll enjoy together.

You were in the practice room going over a section of the routine when Seonghwa walks through the door. Yunho doesn't seem to notice or mind, still gliding over the shining wood floor with you, hand brushing your skin as he turned you, pulling you closer to him. When you turned out of the stance, that's when he seemed to finally notice his eldest hyung, who gaped a bit at the two of you.

"Oh, sorry, you weren't filming, right?"

"N-no," Yunho stammered from behind you. You could feel his heart beating fast against you from nerves and exertion.

"Oh, ok. What made you choose this routine?" He asked, cocking a brow and smiling faintly, eyes fixed on your boyfriend.

"Well, we were going to, er, perform it for everyone?"

"What a way to reveal that," Seonghwa teased.

"Wait, reveal what?" You stepped forward away from Yunho, spell broken as you played dumb.

"Don't worry," Seonghwa winked, crossing the practice room to pluck up the water bottle he'd left behind, "I'll act surprised when I see it. I love the dramatic flair! Keep that spin in your routine for sure."

"Thank you," Yunho told him earnestly, clapping him on the shoulder, "and we definitely will."

"But don't be so sexy, we'll all cringe! Our poor (y/n)!"

Yunho and you just exchanged smiles at the way he was more protective over you than him.

Yeosang

You're sitting at Yeosang’s side, knee brushing his just slightly. Reaching over, you steal a fluffy handful of popcorn out of his bowl, which he just glances down at, brow furrowing in confusion. Giggling, you pop one piece into your mouth and hold out another for him, which he accepts.

Ateez is over for a movie night with you, your boyfriend seated firmly at your side, conveniently providing a supply of snacks only you'll be allowed to filch from. Don't we all love partner privilege? You sure do, especially when it provides justified, unadulterated Yeosang cuddle time.

Speaking of which, his arm winds around your waist, his head leaning on your shoulder. Drinking in the warmth, you almost lose yourself in it all, the feeling of the blanket on your lap and his cheek against yours. But then...

"Uh, Yeosang?" You whisper beneath the sway of film orchestra and dialogue.

"Yes?" His breath fans your neck as he speaks before he sits up slightly against you, guarding the popcorn from spilling as he kisses your cheek once, twice.

"Hongjoong is staring at us."

"So what?" He hums dreamily.

"So, I think he's going to have some questions for us."

Sure enough, after the movie's climax, Ateez's captain approaches your couch, arms folding at his middle. "Uh, hey, I'm sorry if this is intrusive, but is there something you haven't told us?"

"Nice going," you tease Yeosang, elbowing his side.

"What," he asks innocently, "I was just enjoying the movie!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, I wish I had a 'movie' to enjoy, too!" San teases him too, pulling him into a bro hug.

"Yay, new Ateez member!" Mingi exclaims, hugging you from the other side.

"Don't break his heart," Wooyoung adds.

"Why, because I already broke yours stealing Yeosang?"

"Exactly," Wooyoung fake-cries.

When you glance back at your boyfriend, he's looking at you, the way Ateez are like brothers to you too, fondly. You two really are just extensions of each other.

San

You guys don’t really get a chance to sit down with everyone and formally discuss them due to a certain turn of events…

All of Ateez are visiting your place just to have one chill day in their lives- your words, not theirs. The rest of the guys don’t know you and San are dating; it’s pretty new, and though San told you they keep joking about his crush on you, he never gave it up without you.

You feel a hand rest upon your arm; turning, you know it’s San. “(y/n), how would you feel about telling everyone while we’re gathered today? I’d really like everyone to know so I can show you off and give you my love around everyone special to me!”

Your heart melts at his words. “Of course we can,” you nod, “I would love that. I love you.” And as you gaze into those warm brown eyes, your chest swells with fondness, with shared sweet, floaty emotions that have San leaning forward into a kiss.

Not that you’re in a rush to pull away, but you push back to separate your lips first, a jolt of shock having struck your head. “Wait, San, did you forget where we-”

“Oh. My. God!” As if on cue, Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Jongho shuffled back into the room, wide-eyed in Yeosang’s case, gaping-mouthed in Wooyoung’s, and smirking in amusement in Jongho’s. “When did this happen?”

“Uh,” you stuttered, glancing at San for help and breaking back into a smile when he took your hand warmly, “surprise?”

Mingi

“What if they don’t want you dating someone?”

“Then I don’t care,” Mingi replies immediately, eyes hard with determination, “and besides, we don’t have a ban and I know they like you. They won’t mind. They’re like my family, remember?”

You nod, but still a nervous chuckle escapes you. “Well, yeah, I’m nervous about talking to them too.”

“Well don’t be. It would be impossible for them not to love you.” Pulling you a little closer with the hand he had resting on your shoulder, Mingi presses a kiss to your forehead.

Mingi’s big heart never fails to cheer yours back up. Resting your head on his shoulder, you nod again faintly. “Your confidence means a lot. Let’s go.”

“Let’s go,” he repeats, allowing you to trail behind him as you meet up with the rest of the guys.

They all smile and wave when they see you, two of them even making their way to you. As you chat with Seonghwa and Yunho, you realize that the guys have been treating you like one of them for a while now, and your resolve grows.

“Hey guys,” Mingi calls out, and you shuffle subconsciously closer to his side, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’m the luckiest man in the world!”

“Uh, glad you feel that way?” Yeosang shrugs. “What’s brought this on?”

“(y/n) and I are a couple!” He replies dreamily, wrapping his arms around you.

The guys immediately cheer, Hongjoong regarding him with wide eyes and clapping his shoulder, Jongho shaking your hand like you guys had been bros forever.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Yeosang teased, “how’d you manage to pull someone like (y/n)?”

Mingi just giggled at that before whispering to you, “See? I told you they love you. Just not as much as I do.”

Wooyoung

We all know this man is going to be conspicuous, we just do. It’s not so much something Wooyoung schemes how to break to the others, but wonders how he can brag about it properly.

It starts with a squabble, trivial words of argument bouncing between close friends in their home. “Well, Jongho can hit the highest notes!”

“What does that have to do with who’s the best dancer?” Yunho asked.

“Nothing, I just thought we should appreciate everyone instead of being stupid about people’s talents.”

“But who do you think is the best?” Mingi shot the question over, turning on his couch cushion to face you. “I can do the best body rolls!”

“But Yunho does more choreography,” Hongjoong pointed out.

“Well,” surely at the lack of attention, Wooyoung suddenly stood up, pulling you with him, “you know what I can do? This!” With no other warning, Wooyoung took you in his arms, dipping you and drawing you forth into his lips, one hand firm against the small of your back.

“Wooyoung, I-” You started, suddenly lost for words as he grinned down at you, then back to the room of your flabbergasted friends. “Shouldn’t we have told them first?”

“I just did. I win, everyone! (y/n)’s mine!” Joining your hands, he hoisted them up like an Olympic medalist.

Jongho

Frankly, he doesn’t want to make a big production out of telling them, and you don’t relish the idea of an awkward conversational spotlight either. Thus, together you decide to just proceed as normal until they figure it out.

You’re a friend to all eight members, so you go out with Jongho and his seven bros one day shortly after you two became a couple. You guys are actually in the amusement park when Jongho and you just shrug and take each other’s hand, wondering if the others will even notice as your fingers interlace. They do, but they’re so dense they sort of start muttering to each other like “That’s new isn’t it?”.

Well, whatever for them, you two shrug and smile laughingly to each other as Jongho lets go of your hand, placing a gift shop headband on you and asking your permission for a photo, which you grant him. You and Jongho remain in front of the group with your joined hands raising whatever they did- who cared? You can't help the mischievous laughter that keeps escaping you as you wind through colorful displays together, off in your own world even as the other guys invite you onto rides with them, even wanting to sit next to you or Jongho.

He buys you a bracelet at one point, slipping it around your wrist with a soft smile. Yeosang raises an eyebrow, but also smiles and asks his younger bro if he can have a bracelet, too, prompting some three-way banter.

The biggest ‘tell’ you and Jongho leave is when you finally reach the crest of the highest roller coaster hill and, grinning, lean in for a kiss before you drop, the two members behind you screaming even louder at the sight. No one even has time to recover from the vertigo before Wooyoung and Yunho are scrambling to the others, shouting and stammering up a whole mess about their maknae and you.

[bella-rose29]

Bank Holiday ~ a DTH Special

the Schmoopies are back!

only a little one this time bc I actually couldn't think of much to write oops, I just knew I wanted to see my Schmoopies again

word count: 894 words

warnings: like... two? swears? and the ending is kinda meh bc I couldn't figure out how to write it edit: also unedited so any mistakes are purely at the fault of that whoops

(the picture is related I swear)

Anthony Lockwood was confused. 

He was often confused, so that didn’t mean much, but he rarely told people that he didn’t understand what was happening. 

Unfortunately his girlfriend could read him like a huge sign in neon lights and block letters on the side of the Fittes building, and within about five seconds of him walking into the kitchen she was asking him what was wrong. “You look confused, Schmoopie. What’s up?” She popped the ‘p’ at the end, perfectly in sync with the teabags she was holding being put into the mugs lined up on the counter.

Anthony cast a glance around the kitchen before leaning in and whispering “Why is Lucy still in her pyjamas?”

“Anthony, we’re the only ones in the kitchen. Why are you whispering, dumbass?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, sighing and leaning back against the nearest chair. “Why is Lucy still in her pyjamas? And where are you going?” Y/n had pulled her boots on while he’d been talking, and now she was heading for the hallway. He followed after her, partly closing the kitchen door behind him. 

“Oh, the tea was for you three. I’m just heading out for tea with my mum and Will; they’ve come down for the weekend but we were busy before now. Can you get my coat down please?” Anthony obliged, reaching for a jumper at the same time. When she looked at him in question, he shrugged. 

“It’ll be cold out. The wind is still pretty strong and you haven’t got a jumper.” He tugged it over her head, laughing when her head poked through the top with her hair all messed up. 

“Why are you giving me your jumper? I’m pretty sure I’ve got one hanging around here.”

“I’m so offended right now,” he said, shaking his head and staggering back. Y/n snorted. “You mean you don’t want to wear the jumper that your loving boyfriend just helped you put on? That I am sacrificing for you?!”

“Shut up,” she laughed, pushing at his chest when he came back towards her and snuck his arms around her waist. 

“Anything for you,” he grinned. Somebody behind him groaned, and when Anthony turned his head he caught sight of George at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Can you please go one day without being all lovey-dovey with each other? I would rather not throw up today.” He slumped down the final step, scratching at his side and making his shirt ride up to expose his very trouser-less legs. Disappearing into the kitchen, Anthony frowned after his friend. 

Why was nobody ready for work other than him? And how come Holly wasn’t here yet? He supposed they could make do without Y/n (although he would much rather that she stayed home with him all day), but did nobody seem to understand that they were a company who worked every day of the week?! “…Anthony? You alright?”

“Why is no one dressed?!” He lifted his arms to gesture wildly in the air. “It’s ten in the morning and George has only just come downstairs, Holly isn’t here, Lucy’s in her pyjamas still - am I missing something?” He huffed in frustration, arms flopping back to his sides. They were a prestigious company, and nobody would believe that if they saw George in his half-dressed state with jam on his shirt.

“Ant, you do know… that it’s a bank holiday today, right?” Y/n was trying not to laugh, but a faint smile was playing on her lips. 

“What?”

“It’s the anniversary of Fittes and Rotwell finishing their first successful case? Government declared it a public holiday a few years ago? And you decided not long after that we would have the holiday off every year? Is this ringing any bells?” Her smile had grown now, and Anthony felt his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Well, thank you for the jumper, Schmoopie!” She was far too cheery about this, and Anthony pursed his lips in response. 

“Piss off,” he grumbled, not really meaning it. She knew he was stewing like his tea currently was (ah, he should go and sort his tea out), so she pressed a small kiss to the end of his nose and turned for the front door. Anthony reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her back in. “You missed,” he said, planting a kiss on her mouth. 

“Better?”

“Better. Say hi to your Mum and Will for me.”

“I will. Enjoy your day off, Ant.” She stepped out of his embrace and unlocked the front door, blowing him a last kiss before she was gone. 

“Stupid bank holidays. Why didn’t we put that in the calendar?” He shuffled back towards the kitchen for his tea just in time for George to appear with the calendar in his hands, showing off a very large red circle around today’s date and the words ‘DAY OFF’ in the middle. 

“Idiot,” said George, shoving the calendar at his friend. “Your tea’s looking a bit stewed, by the way. Oh, and we ran out of pulpy orange juice.” He didn’t seem too bothered about the fact that he’d just ruined Anthony’s morning by announcing there was no juice left, and he schlepped back up the stairs with a tea mug in one hand and a plate of toast in the other. 

tag list:

@strawberryloveyyy, @chameleon021, @genderfluid-anime-goth, @cottagecore-babe, @anthonylockwoodandco111, @a-taken-url, @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @lady-ashfade, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @magicandrosewaters, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @reggiepeterss, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whistle1whistle, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12, @zoom1374, @asyouwish-fromcabin3, @rhysand-devorak, @a-candle-maker, @h0lyheck, @apple-bottom-jeans6, @icantwaittoliveandlearn, @moonlitcanvas, @cielooci, @35-portlandxrow, @laumire

@neewtmas, @bobbys-not-that-small, @avdiobliss, @demigoddess-of-ghosts, @maraschinomerry, @lewkwoodnco, @uku-lelevillain, @oblivious-idiot

as always, if there is anybody who wants to be added to my lockwood tag list, then please go here!

[chaosandwolves]

Ok, so

Ep 07x04 - Buck, bothered and bewildered

Possibly referring to the song

Bewitched, Bothered, And Bewildered by Ella Fitzgerald

Some lyrics:

Men are not a new sensation I've done pretty well I think But this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

Lost my heart, but what of it He is cold I agree He can laugh, but I love it Although the laugh's on me

He's a fool and don't I know it But a fool can have his charms I'm in love and don't I show it Like a babe in arms

Love's the same old sad sensation Lately I've not slept a wink Since this half-pint imitation Put me on the blink

But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot

"Couldn't eat, was dyspeptic

Life was so hard to bear

Now my heart's antiseptic

Since you moved out of there

Romance, finis, your chance, finis

So this ep will be focused on Buck

We know he's - yet again- on a self discovery journey but - hopefully- finally reaching the turning point

This whole song is very much Buck like... "lost my heart but what for", "Love's the same old sad sensation", "but I'm like sweet 17 a lot"

That's one side of it

The other is being stunned and revived by someone

I'm wondering if he maybe has a bi re-awakening

Some guy he absolutely crushes on and only then does he realize that... Actually if I can have sex with guys, why not have a relationship with them... Maybe this will change something...

And he finally, very slowly, starts to realize something

Or

It's all just about Natalia and him realizing that it's not it and he was just a little bit bewitched

Cause the "bewitched" is missing in the title and that means that he's not anymore but now he's

Bothered - cause he fell into the same pattern like always

Bewildered - cause something is dawning on him

Still choosing a song with the line "Men are not a new sensation" is WILD

-

Episode 7x05 - You don't know me

Possibly referring to the song

You Don't Know Me by Ray Charles

To you, I'm just a friend That's all I've ever been No, you don't know me

I never knew the art of making love Though, my heart aches with love for you, yeah I'm afraid and shy, I let my chance go by A chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me, and then, you say goodbye And then, I watched you walk away beside the lucky guy I know you'll never know the one who loved you so No, you don't know me

I mean this screams Eddie pov

If Buck does have a bi thing going on...

Eddie would possibly be like... Oh so it would've been a possibility after all?

But now I'm too late

And he obviously only ever saw me as a friend

I pray to all the TV gods this will result in a talk with either Karen or Maddie

Cause even though we all agree the man has already realized his feelings for Buck

If there was a bi thing... that would change his perspective

But he'd also be afraid

Thus a talk with either a competent queer person (who is not the 118) or someone who knows a side of Buck he doesn't and knows if that could actually still be a real possibility

But honestly that's just what I wish for myself here

Anyway

I think though that watching Buck with Natalia, it makes Eddie's heart ache and Marisol will just be another Ana... Just a way to do what's expected of him, what's right, what seems good

But also I feel the "You don't know me" directly relates to the "She sees me"

So I feel... Maybe something happens and - like always- Eddie is there and giving Buck exactly what he needs cause he knows and sees Buck

Maybe Buck makes a queer related joke... Something along the lines of...

Haha wouldn't it be easier if you liked guys, we could just date each other!...

and Eddie answers "I'm afraid, you don't know me that well"

Ok I'm venturing into fic inspo now

But I think the contrast of these two songs is so interesting and the way they relate to Buddie SO HARD

And I will not stop talking about that god damn "Men are not a new sensation" line

Anyways we all didn't want to clown again but I'm afraid the clown train is boarded and rolling and it's a party

[jasperaptor]

post-episode 9 rambles (this might be my favourite episode so far) 🎣

Like. A whole episode, entirely carried by the immaculate chemistry between the whole gang? I'm gonna just ramble for a sec about my thoughts so...

I just love how simple the setup is. Everyone is stuck in one room and we just watch how they hang out. And they were all so goofy!! Like...

Just. Doing random shit with your friends and laughing about way too hard is just so real and down to earth and relatable. I don't have the words but watching this episode just made me really happy and I'm hoping to finally be able to do some writing. Wich like... I've been struggling with portraying their group dynamic and this episode was basically a master class on just that.

Am I the only one who thought that call was sus? Maybe it's just me overthinking because I really want that background info on Takaaki. Speaking of Takaaki...

I know that this wasn't intended like that but... Look at the way he looks at Hiro T-T They make me F E E L things okay. I love him so much. They're literally golden retriever boyfriend and cat also boyfriend. IT'S CANON TRUST ME BRO

Also just happy Tsunehiro. All that talk about how he feels about fishing? I just. Idk. I said this before but it was just so relatable. Not about fishing specifically, but doing something tedious and feeling that content kind of tired? Yeah. That hit home for me somehow.

I just kept finding myself thinking "Yeah. I've been there. I felt like that before" over and over and over again. Even in the smaller moments. For example when they all start eating together and Arua is still at the stove. He doesn't feel disconnected from them. When we focus on him we can still hear the other in the background, just like he is and. Yeah. I've been there. Standing in the kitchen, cooking for friends while they talk and goof off and I'm just content inhabiting the same space. I've sat in a car and everyone is talking over each other and I just realize how fun this moment is. And ugh. They just feal so tangible to me.

The episode was also just plain funny imo. The three loan sharks showing up? And they pull groceries out of literally nowhere?? It's so unserious and I love it. Also love the loan sharks (do we know their names??)

Yeah. I think... That's all the immediate rambles I have. Definetly my favourite episode so far. I fucking love how this episode is basically a character study.

That being said... This episode also established their current status quo. Everyone feels good and content. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. The whole "I have only two years to live"-thing is just hovering above everything and the longer they don't address it the more it stresses me out.

Because yes. They're friends and close and enjoy each other's company... But one thing I noticed this episode is that Hiro doesn't call Hana and Takaaki by their given names. He still calls them Tsutsujimori and Ayukawa, while they call him Tsunehiro (or just Hiro in Takaaki's case). It feels very symbolic to me of how he's not ready to really let them in yet. But I don't know if this has been a consitent thing or not. It just stood out to me when the three of them were talking.

I really love this show man so thank you for indulging my first impression rambles. Now, I feel like there's a cute missing scene here where Takaaki and Hiro go home together after this. We'll see if I can finally get over my block and finish another One-Shot.. Wish me luck! 🎣🎣

[smicksstuff]

Could you write more SMAU’s for Marc Guiu and Héctor Fort?

Secrets

hectorfort! x reader!, marcguiu!xreader!, siblings!xreader!

summary: join elizabeth as she makes her comeback into the football scene. rumours arise about her new bae but are the rumours true ? make shocking discoveries as ellie sets the record straight.

oc: Elizabeth (Ellie) Sainz

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elliesainz

Barcelona

liked by hectorforrt_, marcguiu9, ybsf, pedri, and 157,874 others

elliesainz i’m back babyyyy !!

view comments

pedri looking stunning as ever !! 😍😍😍

elliesainz 🫶🏽

pablogavi mi favourito is back

elliesainz ❤️❤️

hectorforrt_ my partner in crime is back ❤️

elliesainz shits about to go downnnn

pablogavi no no not more pranks

elliesainz 🤨🤫🤐😈

hectorforrt also why does gavi get a pic and not me

elliesainz you refused to take one

pablogavi she just likes me more 🤫

hectorforrt geez the things i do for this girl and this is what i get 🙄

user1 “this girl” bros jealous his friend is getting more attention than him

user7 omg is she the one that people have been spotting with hector ?

marcguiu9 god i missed youu 🥹❤️ (comment deleted)

marcguiu9 besties back 😍

elliesainz never ever leaving again 😙

user1 geeez who is this girl ???

user2 she got all the boys whipped

user3 ngl she’s got me whipped tooo

user4 this is elliesainz she is a local restaurant owner. she has a little cafe bar in Barcelona called Offside. They have one of the best paellas and drinks. she is quite famous in the barca community !

user2 she aint nobody 😳

user6 she is one hot chef

liked by marcguiu9 and 829 others

user6 no way marcguiu9 just liked my comment

user7 bestiee is there smth going on ??

user8 ngl they would make a cute couple

user3 nahhh my bets are still on her and hector, they have known each other since forever.

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hectorforrt_

Barcelona

liked by elliesainz, marcguiu9, user7 and 902,262 others

hectorforrt_ we are getting the gang back together

view comments

elliesainz i love you guysss 🥹🩷

marcguiu9 what will i do without you guys

hectorforrt_ absolutely nothing

elliegonzales i second that ✊🏽

marcguiu9 geez thanks guys 😑

user3 shipping hector and ellie so bad now

user7 same bestie, samee

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elliesainz posted on her story

hector and chef - trending on X

text messages between hector and ellie

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elliesainz & hectorforrt_

Barcelona

liked by hectorforrt_, pedri, marcguiu9 and 1,039,728 others

elliesainz thank you papa for my big brother who plays professional football. hectorforrt_ i love you but i love your friends a little more 😗❤️

view comments

hectorforrt_ can’t believe im being used for my friends

elliesainz but i said i love you 🥹

hectorforrt_ 🙄

elliegonzales 😞

user3 BROTHER ???? HERMANO ???

user3 hold UPP !! OMG ive been shipping them together for so long

user1 i need 1-3 years to get over this 🤡

user2 ngl i see the resemblance now

emilygonzales I CALLED THIS ON X

pablogavi FINALLY one less secret to keep

elliesainz i had to save you

marcguiu9 i love my sibling besties 🩷

hectorforrt_ yeah but you love me more

marcguiu9 depends

hectorforrt_ on what ?

marcguiu9 well she can cook. you cant do it to save your life

elliesainz awww you love me moree ✊🏼🩷

marcguiu9 🤐🤐🤐

user7 wait how are they related ??

user4 if im not wrong her dad remarried after her mom passed on.

user7 oh, im so sorry for her.

user4 i think its been a secret because her dad didnt want her to be in the media too much. he didn’t want her to be picked on given her past.