#javier peña x plus size f! reader

[punkypiscesell-writes]

when it comes without a warning

chapter 0.5

Javier Peña x plus size f! reader

summary: Your friend announces she’s engaged and is adamant at finding you a date. After all, you’re the last of her friends who is still unmarried. After a chance meeting with Javier Peña, an ex-DEA agent whose name you’ve only heard, he comes to your bakery with an offer too tempting for you to pass. You’ll pretend to be together until the wedding to get people off your backs and part ways afterwards. No feelings, clear rules, that’s it. Nothing could go wrong, it’s a foolproof plan. Until you become convinced rules are meant to be broken, even the ones you swore not to break.

warnings (updated after each chapter): fake dating AU, strangers to lovers, romcom, 90’s vibes, angst, small town dynamics, slow burn, pining, mentions of God, mentions of losing a parent (no specifics), the picture in the header is just for the visual and isn't an indication of the reader's skin color. Not beta read. If you see any broken Spanish, please let me know!!

word count: 2.3k

notes: Happy holidays! It has been a while since I last posted something. This idea has been brewing in my head for a good year and a half now and after reading through the lengthy outline of scenes, dialogue, songs, pictures, and ideas I’ve been gathering during this time, it’s finally time to write it out. My lovely friend Jess, @javierpenaispunk, has given me so much confidence in creating this story. She has been the listening ear of occasional snippets I’ve wanted (and needed) to share while I’ve been otherwise having a break from writing. Her patience is truly remarkable and if I were her, reading a scene from the middle of the story with no background or setup, I would’ve wanted to know more immediately. Her gentleness has nurtured my creativity and I’m glad I have such a supportive friend who is my personal cheerleader and who is always up for a conversation, no matter if it’s about something silly or deep. I hope you, Jess, and anyone who reads this will like it and you'll enjoy your time with this story.

This is the only chapter in Javier's POV, the rest is told from the reader's perspective.

dividers by cafekitsune

A few weeks after the wedding...

Javier doesn’t wake up. Instead, his brain catches up to his senses slowly. One moment he’s checked out, living in the darkness between night and morning. It’s a place somewhere in a dream world that is much more inviting than the one that turns out to be true. The next, clarity creeps in with the reminder that he hasn’t closed his eyes at all since he woke up last morning and crashed into bed after sitting on the porch listening to the quiet of the ranch which was ear shatteringly loud.

Light pushes itself gently into the stuffy room. Javier hears the sound of the bathroom tap when his dad brushes his teeth, then the soft click of the door when he closes it after himself and hobbles down the stairs with off-balance feet. The smell of fresh coffee drifts up next and mixes with the tainted taste in his mouth that lingers in his mouth after too many glasses of cheap alcohol and too many cigarettes now dumped on an ashtray only hours earlier.  

He really should brush his teeth as well. It would bring a sense of normalcy to his day, mark a beginning that ends somewhere. It would pause the drifting along a timeline that repeats itself with the sun setting and creeping up the horizon again, with the work he does day after day, the screaming of his liver and brains when he picks up the beer, whiskey or tequila to get his mind off things… off you… to only have the smell of you, the touch of your hands, the feel of your skin, your body, branded on him and the memory crush him like a freight train.

If he could travel back in time, to Colombia, he could drown all of this, this useless emptiness, this sense of… fucking heartbreak into work that would take all his brain capacity, and he wouldn’t have time to think about anything else other than work. That part of his life is behind him though. Now he only has the town where everyone knows everyone’s business, the ranch, endless days and nights of quiet and simplicity, home cooked meals and his dad watching reruns of the same shows on tv every evening.

Whether it’s an escape or a way to have the ghost of you around him, Javier picks up the bottle again and again. He tortures himself with everything that reminds him of you like you were gone.

The other option is too terrifying.

He could make his way to town, open the bakery door and find you working. He could talk with you and ask you out, like you had, and this time he wouldn’t remind you of the arrangement you two had promised to follow.

It was broken the second he came up with the idea, on that balcony on New Year’s Eve as you stood there with a drink in your hand, a sad look in your eyes as you watched the people on the other side of the window celebrating. You turned to him, forgot about the sadness in your eyes and smiled at him like you were two sides of the same coin. You clinked your glass against his and wished him a happy new year. The mix of emotions hung heavily over your head, but you kept it away from him.

Javier’s skin itches under the too hot blanket as sunlight warms it up against his naked back. He doesn’t dare move it away. He hasn’t washed it in ages. It always smelled a little stale and reminded him of home. Those days when his mom would wash it for him because she knew he wouldn’t. That was years ago and now it has a new smell. It’s fading, day by day losing any particle of you.

Another string of hurt makes its way from the you sized space in his head down through his eyes, nose, mouth, throat, to his chest and spreads uncomfortably from the top layers of his skin to the deepest tissue. It flips his stomach and forces him to take a deep breath.

He found your necklace last night.

Maybe it was that time you had come over to bring his dad leftover pastries from the bakery. Your visit turned out to be a way for you to get a chance to thank him for taking you to the town after your car broke down.

Or maybe it was that time you had seen Javier’s dad run errands in town. “We have a little time, right?” You panted against his mouth and ripped his shirt off his shoulders. Your hands moved to his jeans when he held on to the shirt to not leave it downstairs. Of course, Chucho already knew then, but Javier didn’t want to fuel the gossip fire even more while the biggest evidence was parked out at the front of the house: your car.

Or maybe it was the time you came over for dinner. It wasn’t even Javier’s idea, but his dad’s. “I want to get to know her!” He said to Javier then. You stayed over that night, the second of two nights. The scent of end was already in the air. You didn’t sleep that night, neither did he. You wrapped yourself around him, clung to him with such force that your skin started to melt into his. He was at peace, just like all those other nights when he was with you, and you refused to let go.

Javier will never forget how you climbed on his lap for the first time, unsure and shy, your heartbeat hammering so hard it made your skin pulse and ripple under his touch. And then that first night you came over to the ranch, with his dad fallen asleep in the living room downstairs while the shopping tv blared old commercials. You climbed on Javier’s lap and drowned your moans bravely in his mouth and against his neck. That night was never ending and he would’ve wanted it to last even longer.

Maybe it was one of those times when you came over and left before he wanted to let go. During one of those visits you lost your necklace you always had around your neck no matter what the occasion was. You once told him it belonged to your mom, but you never told him more. From the way you turned from him and changed the subject, the conversation never continued, and Javier didn’t want to pry.

The lock is broken. The sunlight glimmers against the rosy gold, tiny links that lay on the pillow where he laid it. It was between the wooden bed frame and the old spring mattress that whines when laid on. The smell of you in his nose and the necklace on his pillow, it’s almost like you’re here with him. Javier can hear your out of breath laugh in his ears like the ecstasy of euphoria was still fresh in his veins, filling his brain with fluff and you. The memory hurts. You could be here if he had only admitted he had resigned from the arrangement a long time ago.

The kitchen windows look onto the porch. Chucho is drinking coffee and reading the paper with glasses pushed on his nose. There’s a mug on the kitchen counter for Javier too. It’s empty, but the message is demanding. With his skin now freshly scrubbed, his face shaved, his mustache trimmed, and his hair washed and brushed back, Javier is almost functioning like a human again. He fills his mug and steps outside. It’s cool still, but not for long. The humidity of the early morning is an indication of what it’ll be like later when the temperature climbs over 90.

Chucho has been following his son demolish himself for a few weeks. It hasn’t taken a lot of brain power for him to put two and two together when you haven’t come over anymore and Javier hasn’t stayed over at yours. The nights on his own were lonely, a reminder of when Javier was in Colombia. He would still take those lonely evenings and nights over a hundred times instead of seeing Javier pour his poison of choice down his throat.

“You came in late,” Chucho notes behind the paper without taking his eyes off the inked pages. Javier doesn’t answer, he never does because there’s no question.

“Would you run me some errands today?”

“I can stay and work on whatever you need, you can go.” Javier drinks the coffee and replaces the recollection of your taste with the strong, warm scent of the drink in his mug.

Chucho lowers the paper, his eyes fixed on his son. “What are you running away from?” Javier has to steady the mug in his hand after a cold wave crashes through him.

“Why are you hiding here?”

“I’m not.” The muttered words are unconvincing even to Javier. What they sounded to his dad pushes on his buttons, unnamed frustration piles up in his throat.

“After your mom passed, I too stayed here and locked myself away. You know what kept me alive?”

Javier’s knee sways from side to side, another kind of crushing hurt spreading in his chest with the pressure still blocking his vocal chords.

“You.” Chucho forces Javier to look at him by placing his hand on his son’s knee, stilling the stressful movement. His wrinkled and sun spotted face is soft as he looks at his son, a little smile on the corner of his mouth.

“You’ve always reminded me of her not because God sketched you in her image, but because of your gentleness and how much you feel. You’ve always been sensitive, mi hijo. Don’t waste it by hiding yourself away here.” Javier has to look away and bite the inside of his cheek. Every time his dad calls him by that endearment, many years of unconditional, proud love between a father and his child spills between them.

“You didn’t get your romantic streak from her though,” Chucho withdraws his hand and chuckles to himself.

Javier wants to desperately change the mood. “Where then? The songs she used to listen to?” He asks, hoping his dad will catch onto the joke in his voice.

“From me.” Of course he doesn’t joke back. “You think I won your mom over with my dashing personality?” Javier snorts.

His whole life his dad has been warm, generous and kind. People can trust Chucho and he’s easy to get to know. He’s respected in the community and for a good reason. But God knows if you cross Chucho Peña, you will never hear the end of it. Javier’s mom was strict, but not like his dad. He only accepted to hear the truth when Javier was growing up yet he was never judgmental. Now it’s easier to keep secrets from him, keep him at an arm’s length, even when Javier would need his support.

“I had to work for her to see me and take me seriously. I was the underdog.” The meaning behind the words doesn’t go unnoticed by Javier. He leans the side of his face against his fingers, his coffee mug forgotten against his thigh. Chucho looks too pleased with himself for getting his son’s full attention.

“You think I’m an underdog?” Javier asks, curious to hear how his dad will spin it.

“Yes.”

“Thanks for being honest.” Chucho laughs his familiar, deep, vibrating laugh and fixes his glasses on his nose.

“You are an underdog because you make yourself the underdog. Did you really think your arrangement with her would work when you both fell for each other?” His words shock the sarcastic smile off of Javier’s face.

“You are in love with her, and it won’t change no matter how long you’ll hide and run away from her.” Javier takes a sip of his coffee. It’s already cooling. The humid Texas air lifts sweat on his armpits, encouraged by his dad’s words.

“You can’t say that,” he starts, a lump in his throat as thick as wool.

“Say what?”

“That she fell for me.”

“Why do you think I’m saying you’re making yourself the underdog?”

“No lo sé, papá,” Javier shakes his head.

“Porque no quieres admitir que ella también se enamoró de ti.” His skin prickles uncomfortably. More memories. More you.

“You might be our son, but you haven’t inherited your cynicism from us.” Chucho thinks out loud.

Javier has to get away. “What errands do you want me to run?”

“I need you to get stamps and groceries.” Javier stands and downs the rest of his coffee, hoping it was something stronger. “Oh, and those pastries with the cream.” Another wave of sweat pearls under his arms. He pulls the screen door open and is already stepping inside.

“Tienes permitido amar y ser amado, mi hijo.” Javier stops. His fingers squeeze the wood frame of the screen door. The paint is chipping. From the corner of his eye, he notices his dad looking up at him. Another demand.

Javier answers it by turning to his dad. He empties all the air from his lungs through his lips. His sight gets hazy from the dry tears that prickle his eyes. Chucho reaches for his hand holding the mug but settles on his wrist and squeezes. The air is thick from the unsaid words, the ones that are hidden in his dad’s warm hand on his skin.

He nods and pulls his hand back.

Javier places the mug in the sink. He leans against it to settle his thrashing heart. How did he end up here? How did he laugh about it then, guessing he would corrupt you and your assumed innocence. How did he end up breaking the promise he made for himself about it only being an arrangement, but ended up following your words instead?

“You might corrupt me,” you said with a wicked glint in your eyes, “but I won’t be the one falling in love.” You were joking then. He laughed when you touched your wine glass against his.

And then he fell.

[pr3ttynpiink]

Until I Find You

Prince!Javier Peña x Plus Size!Reader

ꨄ warnings: prince!javi, cinderella au in a way, toxic mothers, plus size reader, if i missed any please let me know!

ꨄ a/n: with all these new gladiator/f4 pics it was giving nothing but prince vibes so i had to. as always if you don't like it don't bite it! and yes- there will be a part 2 🙂‍↕️

Main Masterlist — Javier Peña Masterlist

“Why do we have to go?”

“Because the king and queen are looking for a princess for the prince.” your mother muttered, tightening your dress and pulling a small grunt from your lips. “Told you to lose weight. Who's gonna want a fat princess in the royal family?”

You rolled your eyes at the comment, completely drowning her voice out. She'd been on you for years about your weight but you loved the way you looked- curves and thick thighs, with an ass that was out of this world if you do say so yourself. She kept rambling on but her voice was muffled. You focused on your reflection, admiring how the dress you'd sewn yourself accented your lucious figure.

“Alright.” she muttered, gently patting you on the side and snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Thanks mama!” You grabbed your heels and ran out the back door barefoot, hearing your mother yell to you about not being late to the ceremony. You ran down the pebble sidewalk and into the small forest behind your home, needing a moment before going to the ceremony. What better place to go than into a secluded forest.

—

He sighed, leaning back against a tree as he tucked his sketchbook back into his satchel. He needed a break from it all- the high maintenance from his mother, the castle being swarmed by other royal families he's never seen before- all because he needs to find a princess. As much as he wanted to stay out here, it was only a matter of time before his mother sent out the entire army to look for him.

He stood up, walking back to his horse to head back home when he let out a grunt and fell to the ground.

“Shit.” you grunted, pulling yourself off whoever you just ran into. Your eyes widened in realization, quickly getting off of him- it's the prince. “Prince Javier. I-I'm so so sorry I didn't see you and-”

He let out a small chuckle and sat up, rubbing the back of his head. “It's alright. Good thing the ground is soft.” he joked, making you chuckle.

You pulled yourself up to your feet, reaching a hand down to him. He reached up, placing his much bigger hand into yours as he pulled himself up, causing his satchel to fall off his shoulder and his book to fall out. You bent down, picking up his satchel and fallen sketchbook. Your eyes scanned the open page, admiring the detail of his drawing.

“This is beautiful…”

Javier smiled, looking down at the book in your hands. “Thank you. Little hobby of mine.”

“The prince has hobbies?” you teased, making him laugh.

“Believe it or not- yes. Yes I do.”

You looked up at him, getting lost in the sparkle of his deep brown eyes. He admired the soft features of your face, getting lost in your eyes as well. The moment was broken by the sound of the bells echoing through the forest. Javier cleared his throat, gently taking his book from your hands.

“I gotta get going.”

You nodded, watching him as he got back on his horse.

“Hope to see you at the ceremony. Try not to tackle me this time.”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks by embarrassment. “No promises.”

—

“Look at you! Your dress is a mess.” your mother pouted as she frantically dusted off the dress. “Ladies don't run off into the forest!”

“Mama-”

“Supposed to be impressing the royal family- not having them think we're poor.”

“Hate to burst your bubble but we are poor mama.” you let out a small hiss at the feel of your mothers hand hitting your bare back.

“We can't have them thinking that.”

You rolled your eyes, slipping on your heels and adjusting the skirt of your dress. “Better?”

She shrugged, reaching up and tucking a loose strand of hair behind a bobby pin. “It'll have to do… Remember, smile with your eyes and take that hateful look off your face. And be home before midnight. You know how your father is…”

“Yes mama…” you muttered, turning away from her and walking up the stone pathway that led to the castle. You tried your best to blend into the crowd of girls- all trying to achieve the same result- becoming a princess. You felt a bit out of place from the others. You didn't have perfect skin with sparkling blue eyes and blonde hair. You've always loved the way you looked, but being around others who were the complete opposite kicked your confidence down a few pegs.

The crowd flowed into the ballroom, everyone's eyes going straight to the prize- prince Javier sitting across the room on his chair.

His eyes scanned the room, all the girls looking the same. Some tall, some short, but all with their noses in the air like they're better than anyone here- reminding him of his own mother- which isn't what he wants.

“Javier put it away.” his mother hissed, motioning down to the sketchbook in his lap. He rolled his eyes and closed the book, laying it on the floor behind him.

“You know I'm old enough to do as I please.”

“And until you find yourself a wife- you're doing as I tell you. Now go.” she scolded, pulling a soft sigh from Javier's lips as he got up and walked through the crowd. Everyone greeted him as he walked by, girls practically throwing themselves into his arms trying to get his attention but he politely declined. The closer he got to the doors of the ballroom, the more he could feel his sense of freedom. But then you walked in.

You smiled, giving him a small wave. He smiled back and walked over to you.

“Didn't think to see you here.”

“Thought you could use the company.”

He chuckled, reaching over and grabbing your hand, placing a small kiss on your knuckles. “Happy to see a familiar face.” He looked around and saw his mother was distracted and then looked back at you. “Wanna get out of here?” he asked.

“What do you have in mind?”

—

You sat in the garden, laughing and talking with Javier for hours and hours. He was the opposite of what you'd thought a prince would be. He made you laugh, made you smile, made you feel like you were the only girl in the world.

“I kept you from your ceremony.”

He shrugged, “Better out here then in there with all of them.”

“Saying I made your night?”

He chuckled and nodded. “Definitely.” His eyes trailed down to your lips, slowly leaning in closer. You caught on to what he was wanting to do and you started to lean in, hoping to meet in the middle. Suddenly the bells of the castle rang, pulling your attention to the big clock on the bell tower. Midnight.

“Damnit.” you gasped, quickly getting up and grabbing your heels. “I-I gotta go.”

“Wait-”

“Javi, I'm so sorry, I have to.” you quickly ran out of the garden and down the massive staircase that led to the castle. You'd been so focused on making it home before your father found out that one of your heels slipped out of your grip and landed on the staircase. Javi reached down and picked it up, watching as you disappeared into the night, hoping he'd find you again soon.

credits

ꨄ beta'd: @joelmillerisapunk @80ssong @peepawispunk @half-moon16 💗

[tightjeansjavi]

𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬

(Javi Peña x plus sized f!reader)

A/N: this by far has been the most intimidating piece I have ever written. I received this request awhile back and I wanted to make sure I throughly thought it through before writing. I have to thank my besties, @chaotic-mystery and @peterhollandkait for helping me along the way. Every body type deserves to be loved and appreciated, and I hope this sheds some positive light on all my plus sized babes out there. Thank you for entrusting me with writing this. ♡

~Word count: 3.7k~

Summary: A night out dancing with your friends in Colombia leads you to meet the man of your dreams, Javi Peña. He is the one man in your life who truly loves and appreciates all of you.

Warnings: established relationship, body positivity, brief societal bullshit in the beginning, Javi is a passionate lover, reader is plus sized, smut, oral (female receiving) face sitting, pussy eating, cum eating, huge fucking praise kink, teasing, banter, fluff mixed in between, swearing, NSFW, (+18) minors dni!

Songs used:

“pov” by Ariana Grande

“TiO” by Zayn

“PILLOWTALK” by Zayn

“Tuyo” by Rodrigo Amarante

Your boyfriend Javi never failed to make you feel like you were the most beautiful woman in the room. It didn’t matter where the two of you were, he didn’t hesitate to show the world that you were all his. He worshipped the ground you walked on. Your past lovers never loved you the way that Javi actively would. The ex men in your life never truly appreciated you for who you were. It was always superficial, and focused around your body. You realized at a young age that society valued women for their looks, and not what was on the inside. You didn’t fit in the category of the ‘ideal’ body type. You weren’t a stick thin model. You weren’t short and petite. You were boxed into a category that society deemed as ‘ugly.’ You were taught that all bodies were beautiful and women were more than just their skin. If only the men in your life would understand, and see things from your point of view. That was, until you met Javi Peña.

You have been dating Javi for a little over a year now. You met the DEA agent while you were out dancing with your friends one hot summer evening in Colombia. He was captivated by you, and the way your body moved. He was practically begging to take you home. You told him that he’d have to properly treat you first and for once, you didn’t see a man hesitate to take you out for a good meal. Javi knew all the best late night food joints in Bogotá, and for the rest of the late night, you enjoyed tapas together. Drinking, laughing, enjoying one’s company. He was adamant on making sure you made it home safely. You couldn’t help but invite him in for a nightcap, and next thing you knew, he had you pressed against the back of your door, hands roaming your body like a man starved. He stole the air from your lungs as he kissed you. Your mind was dizzy, captivated with this man who made you weak in the knees. Javi didn’t pressure you of course, and everything was taken at your own pace. You did end up having that nightcap together after a passionate makeout.

A year later, and your life is fully enveloped around agent Peña. You have a shared apartment now and the sparks continue to fly.

It’s Sunday morning, and you’ve always been an early riser. Your boyfriend? Well..he’s the complete opposite. You’re always understanding of course. You know just how much his job takes a toll on him. Mornings like these are your favorite because it’s just you in the kitchen, radio humming in the back as you cook you and your lover breakfast. You’re wearing one of his many shirts. This one is particularly your favorite simply for the fact that it’s an ‘unconventional’ color for a man to wear. The shirt is pink and you swear your boyfriend sprayed extra cologne on the cotton fabric just because he knows how much you love it.

You don’t even hear your lover's presence in the kitchen as you’re completely in your own world. Your hips sensually sway to the beat of the song playing through the radio as you hum along.

Javi loves the way that his shirts never cover your butt completely. He loves the way the fabric hugs your hips and thighs. He loves the way he can grip onto your hips and pull you against his chest. He loves the way that when you straddle him, your thighs take up the entire expanse of his. What society views as ugly, he views as beauty. You’re beautiful, sexy, in every way imaginable to him. Here in his kitchen, dressed in his shirt, sunlight peeking in through the stained glass windows. If only fools fall in love, then Javi was the president of the club.

You felt his presence behind you, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling your back flush against his chest. Your boyfriend is wearing nothing but tight black boxer briefs when you feel his lips press a soft kiss to the side of your neck, his mustache tickles your skin as you let out a soft giggle. “Buenos días hermosa. ¿Cómo durmió mi niña?”(good morning beautiful. How did my girl sleep?) He hummed against your skin, giving your hips a firm, loving squeeze as he continued to pepper kisses down the expanse of your neck.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you reached your hand back and threaded your fingers through his soft bead head, giving his hair a soft tug. “Buenos días mi amor, dormí bien. ¿Y tú?”(good morning my love, I slept good. How about you?) Your lover had taught you a thing or two about speaking Spanish. It was one of the many things that you and Javi did together, and It never failed to surprise him, and melt his heart when you would actively speak his native tongue.

“Getting better, cariño. That’s my girl.” He lifted his chin up slightly so he could steal a quick kiss, or two before he gently flipped you around so you were facing him. Your arms draped around his neck as he pressed you into the cool countertop. His shirt rode higher up your thighs from the movement, revealing more of your delicious skin to his adoration filled eyes. “Whatever you’re cooking there smells delicious, querida but my appetites are specific this morning. Can I eat you instead?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he grasped onto the back of your thighs, hoisting you up onto the edge of the counter top.

“Only for you, Jav.” You giggled as he lifted you up onto the counter top. Your thighs jiggled from the movement as they covered the expanse of the counter top. You wrapped them around his waist, yanking him towards you with a playful gleam in your eyes. Your boyfriend's vulgarity never surprised you and you knew how to match his energy beautifully. “You’ll spoil your breakfast if you eat me baby.”

“Don’t care. You’re looking too damn delicious for me not to. You know what you do to me when you’re wearing one of my shirts? Jesus fucking Christ woman, you know how to drive a man absolutely up a fucking wall.” He let out a low growl as he was already diving in for another kiss. “You look so fucking sexy in my shirt it’s unreal baby. Un-fucking-real how lucky I am. Luckiest fucking man alive.” He mumbled into your lips, swiping his sinful tongue across your plump lower lip before he took it between his teeth.

Finishing up preparing breakfast was no longer on your mind as your lover kissed you like a man starved. You wasted no time to pull him down on top of you, kissing him back with the same amount of passion that he exuded. A moan slipped past your lips when his teeth sunk into your skin. He had your head spinning already. “You want to devour me right here, right now?”

He tugged your lower lip out with his teeth before he released it. “I’ll get down on my knees for you right now cariño. You don’t even have to ask.” He purred as he pressed kisses all over your face now, playfully nibbling on your soft cheeks and cute nose. “I’ll eat your pussy here first, and then move you to the bed where you can sit on my face, and suffocate me with those gorgeous thighs. How’s that sound to you hermosa?”

You scrunched your nose up when his teeth playfully nibbled on it. How could your man be so sweet, and yet so filthy at the same goddamn time? “Get on your knees for me, Agent Peña.” Your voice dipped down an octave. Tone sultry, yet playful.

“Yes ma’am.” He chuckled as he stole one more kiss from your pretty lips. His tongue enveloped around yours, drinking in your soft breaths with your teeth clashing in a heated kiss. His skilled fingers were already moving up his shirt that you were wearing. The buttons were nearly about to burst open and your breasts pushed against the tight fabric was enough for him to rip the shirt open ferociously. The buttons clattered to the floor as you let out a gasp, swatting at his chest.

“JAV! Your shirt! You’ve gone and—oh fuck.” Your words were cut off when his mouth wrapped around your peeked nipple, his lashes fluttering up to your gaze as his teeth nipped at the sensitive skin before sucking harshly. His hand that wasn’t gripped on your thigh was now wrapped around the expanse of your breast. He kneaded the plush skin with his fingers, tugging on your nipple with his thumb and forefinger. He provided the same amount of lustrous attention to both of your breasts. His breath was heavy as he nipped and licked at every inch of your skin that he could get to. His movements were ravenous as you watched him sink to his knees below you.

“It’s just a shirt, cariño. I have plenty of them.” You felt him grin into the warm expanse of your inner thigh. Javi was a biter, and he prided himself on it. His lips and teeth were biting and kissing your plush skin. He was a fucking tease too as he ghosted his lips across where you craved him most. Your hand found purchase in his hair, threading your fingers through the soft strands as you tugged on them, fingers scraping his scalp. “Don’t you dare make me beg you right now Javi. Don’t you dare.”

“Paciencia cariño. Let me take my sweet sweet time with you and your pretty pussy. Don’t rush my work.” He tsked as he nipped at your inner thigh once more.

You opened your mouth to protest until you felt his tongue flatten against your covered clit. His broad nose pressed against your pubic bone as he tasted you through the fabric of your thin panties. His tongue dragged across your slick folds before gliding back up to your clit. He sucked on the bundle of nerves through the fabric, creating tingling friction from his hot tongue and the fabric rubbing against you.

“Fuck me. I need to feel you completely, baby. Please, Jav. Please don’t tease me.”

Javi used the broad expanse of his shoulders to keep your thighs propped open for him. He continued to lap at your covered pussy while looking up at you. His brow rose sinfully and you could see just how dark his pupils had grown. The sight of him buried between your plush thighs was enough to have your eyes roll back into your skull. “Look at me.” He mumbled against you. “Look at me with those beautiful eyes, hermosa. Look at me while I eat your pussy. Keep them on me.”

You let out a shaky breath as your eyes fluttered open and locked on his. There was never a hotter sight than your boyfriend beneath you.

“Good girl.” He hummed while he hooked his thumb around the thin fabric and pulled it to the side. He wasted no time burying his face into you, sucking in a lungful of air because he wasn’t going to take any breaths till he had you cumming along his tongue. His nose bumped against your clit as he lapped at your slick folds. He loosened his jaw up as he sucked your clit into his mouth and used the tip of his tongue to flick against it. The sounds he made while he ate your pussy were nothing short of filthy. He loved the taste of you on his tongue. Your natural sweet saltiness drove him mad. He wasn’t shy of admitting that he loved eating you out. He’d have his face buried between your thighs everyday if you’d let him.

“F—fuck Javi. Baby—your tongue it’s so—yes, yes right there. Oh fuck. Please don’t stop.” You mewled above him, scraping your nails against his scalp as you elicited a low groan from his chest.

“Taste so fucking sweet baby. All for me. Let me hear those pretty sounds. Your pussy sounds so pretty. You hear how wet she is for me?” He hummed with a mouthful of your cunt.

You let out a slew of profanities mixed in with his name as he continued to lap at you. He switched from slow, long licks to rapid ones as he shook his head back and forth against you. Each time his nose would bump into your clit, you’d jolt forward from the sudden contact.

You could feel him grinning against you as he dropped his tongue down your slick folds, gathering up your arousal before he slipped his tongue into your tight hole, fucking you with it at an agonizing slow pace.

You struggled to keep your eyes locked on him when all you could see was the bridge of his nose. His face was completely buried against you and he loved every second of it. It took him no time to coax your first orgasm of the morning. You ground your hips into his face as you chanted his name out like it was your personal prayer.

His mouth became more ravenous against you when he could tell your orgasm was quickly approaching. He felt your thighs quiver and shake against his head as he licked up every last drop. When the rest of his face was revealed to you finally, his chin, mustache and lips were coated in your slick. He was glistening in your juices while he rested his cheek against your plush thigh, smirking up at you. “How was that for good eating?” He teased.

“You eat pussy like a man starved, Jav.” You dropped your hand down to his face, dragging your thumb across his slick covered lips. He nibbled lightly on the tip of your thumbnail.

“It’s the only way a man should be eating pussy baby. If he’s not, he’s definitely not doing it right. I fucking love it. I’d have my face buried between your thighs every damn day if you’d let me.”

“Well, maybe those ‘men’ should learn a thing or two from you.” You giggled.

He released your thumb from his lips as he turned his head to playfully nip at your thigh once more before he kissed his way up your body, skating his lips across your navel and up between the valley of your breasts. He finally reached your lips, kissing you languidly as you got a taste of yourself on his tongue.

“You need a minute or two to recover cariño? We do have all morning so there’s no rush.”

“You just want me to sit on your face Jav. It’s okay, you can admit it.” You mumbled against his lips. Your thighs were still trembling as you hooked them around his waist pulling him in closer to you.

“Yeah, I want you to suffocate me with your thighs.” He casually stated as his hands found purchase around your outer thighs. “I want my face to be so deep in your pussy that I can’t breathe. You think you can do that for me sweet girl?” His lips detached from yours as he rested his forehead against you, teasingly brushing his upper lip across your lower.

“Is this your way of proposing? Because if so, yes.” You giggled, bringing your hands up to his face as you brushed your fingers across his firm jawline.

“Fuck. I am unprepared for this querida. Let me make it up to you, okay? My apologies hermosa. I should have a ring on deck for situations like this.” He had a tiny grin on his lips that you kissed earnestly.

You let out a faux sigh of disappointment. “That’s okay baby, I know it’ll happen someday.”

“te prometo que lo hará mi amor.” (I promise you it will my love)

Your response was to kiss him, pulling him as close as you physically could as your lips slotted with his. He kissed you like no man ever had. He kissed you with urgency, sincerity and passion. Soon enough, your boyfriend was helping you off the counter on wobbly legs. He was there to keep you steady as you made your way into the bedroom.

You had taken the reins then as you pushed him onto his back, watching as he fell back against the mattress with a smug look on his face. He scooted himself back against the headboard and tapped his chest for you to come take your seat. Once you were close enough, his hands were grabbing you, pulling you onto the expanse of his chest as your thighs settled around him. Your panties were quickly discarded down your ankles and to the floor as he brushed his thumb across your clit languidly. “Don’t be afraid to squeeze me a little, okay cariño? In fact, I’d absolutely love it if you did.” He looked up at you with a grin.

“One skull crusher coming right up, baby.” You giggled as he let out a deep chuckle. The playful edge was gone when he grasped your thighs between his fingers and pulled you down directly onto his face.

His tongue dragged against you once before his teeth were nipping at your meaty inner thighs. His hands slipped around your thighs, settling along your ass as he squeezed and kneaded the plump flesh, driving you further into him.

From the angle you were at, you could barely see his face as his tongue found its way to your clit once more. Your thighs were fully wrapped around his head now as he groaned against you. Tongue lapping away as he brought one of his hands down on your ass, feeling the skin jiggle from the contact before he was gripping it tightly again.

You could only see his eyes, which were blissfully closed as he swirled his tongue around your clit, sucking into his mouth. When he felt your gaze land on him, his eyes snapped open, locking on yours intensely. There was something so erotic watching your man devour you from this angle. To see him enveloped by your pussy and thighs was the hottest thing you had ever seen.

He continued to work your clit against his tongue. He was getting especially sloppy with his mouth when you started to ride his face. He could barely breathe with you clenching in around his head but he fucking loved every second of it.

Your moans were muffled and fuzzy sounding to him as he completely zoned in on making you cum again. He surely was pussy drunk at this point by the way he furiously lapped at you. Did his jaw ever feel sore after? You weren’t even sure at this point.

“C’mon baby. I know you got one more in you sweet girl. Wanna feel you cum on my tongue hermosa. Give me another taste, please.” His filth was muffled by your thighs, but his voice vibrated deliciously against your core as your hips continued to buck into his face. Your hips continually rolled into his tongue as your head dropped between your shoulders.

“Baby—oh fuck. Keep doing that. Whatever you’re doing keep fucking doing it. Don’t stop!” You moaned above him, grinding your hips faster as you chased your impending orgasm.

“Good girl. That’s my good fucking girl. Get off on my face you pretty filthy thing.” He growled against you, digging his fingers into the thick purchase of your ass as he drove you forward.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Javi I can’t—” your hands dropped to your thighs as they began to tremble around his head.

“Yes. Yes you can hermosa. I got you baby, I got you. One more for me, just one more.” He shook his head back and forth, pulling the orgasm right out of you as you screamed out his name.

He continued to praise you, all the way through your post orgasm. His face was still buried between your thighs as he gave your pussy light kitten licks, and a chaste kiss before you were physically yanking his head up.

“Too much? I wasn’t completely finished with you, querida.” His lips were held in a plush pout as he looked up at you. His big, puppy dog brown eyes were melting your heart all over again.

“Jav, baby. I love you but you’re gonna have to give me a few after that one..Jesus fuck.”

“Mmm. That’s okay baby. I can stay right here. I don’t mind at all. Can I give her a kiss? Just a little one.”

“You fucking— fine. Just know, you have completely wrecked me, beautiful boy.”

Javi pressed one more light kiss to your sensitive clit before his hands slid from your ass to rest upon your thighs, rubbing soothing circles into the plush skin.

“I love you cariño. I’m not just saying that cause I’m a little pussy drunk right now. Okay, not a little, a lot actually. I just want to remind you that you are quite literally the most beautiful woman, mi amor. Mi corazón y mi alma son tuyos. (My love, my heart and soul are yours.”

“Javi, this isn’t you trying to sweet talk your way into eating me out again, is it?” You looked down at him with a playful grin, narrowing your eyes when his stuck his tongue out ever so slightly—

“I don’t think I have to do much sweet talking for that pretty girl.” He squeezed your thighs beneath his warm palms. “Just want to remind you how much you mean to me.” he let his one hand that was grasped around your thigh, drop to the nightstand beside the bed. He pulled open the drawer before grabbing his box of cigarettes and lighter, placing one of the cigarettes between his lips. He gently scooted your thighs back slightly as you grabbed the lighter and leaned down over him, lighting the tip of the cigarette as he inhaled, looking up at you.

“Well, I love you too, Javi. Mi corazón y mi alma son tuyos.” You softly spoke as he took a deep inhale of his cigarette, while his free hand stayed wrapped around your thigh.

“Siempre, mi amor.” He confirmed, knowing that one day he would marry you, make you his wife. Spend the rest of his days with you by his side, in his arms.

Always, my love.

Tag list: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @loquaciousferret @userpedros @meveispunk @lovers-liability @atinylittlepain @777-wonders @korynnekorynne @novemberrain-writes @cutesyscreenname @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @yazsos @soaringcloud @soft-cryptids @pr0ximamidnight @last-girl @pedgeitopascal @kirsteng42 @dinsdjrn @mirasantidotes @dreamingofdaddydin @thetriumphantpanda

[kirsteng42]

I’m so looking forward to this, I LOVE your soulmate series, paired with the love of my life Javi P, you got yourself 1 very excited fan…..

New Soulmate Story on the Horizon!

Hello my dulcet darlings! You many remember a few months ago when @absurdthirst and myself ran a poll to see what soulmate story would be written in the spring. Marcus Pike and his innkeeper got the most votes, but the second most popular combination was the fantastic duo of Javier Peña and a journalist reader.

Coming in just a few weeks, we are very excited to begin writing the twists and turns of Javi's journey to finding his soulmate in a story of half-truths, danger, and self-reflection that begins in season 1 of Narcos.

Javier Peña had no way of knowing for certain the American journalist he sometimes sees sniffing around the embassy for her stories is also getting information about the narcos from the same girls that he is. After Helena is brutalized by sicarios, it is that same journalist who comes to take her away and look after her -- giving Javi reason to pause and reconsider his opinion of the woman he had previously not considered as anything more than eye candy.

He has no idea that once she has walked fully into his life, he will be battling with himself over whether or not he should stop her from walking out it of again.

“He pleaded so much that he lost his voice. His bones began to fill with words.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Read Previous Soulmate Stories on My Masterlist Right Here!

[bambiiboop]

Request Status: Open (Selective)

Pedro Pascal Characters I Write: Din Djarin , Joel Miller, Javier Peña, Oberyn Martell, Ezra (Prospect), Frankie Morales, Comandante Veracruz, Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels, General Acacius.

Gabriel Luna Characters I Write: Tommy Miller, Boro Polonia.

Be My Future - Din x Reader (Breeding Kink)

Possessive!Din

Touch Starved Din

Teaching Din To Eat You Out

Take It - Dom! Din x Reader (Breeding Kink)

Over Eager, Inexperienced Din

Din Spanks You With His Belt

Din When You're Pregnant

What's In A Name? - Din Djarin x Named OC (SFW)

Din As A Girl Dad (SFW)

Domestic!Din x Teacher!Reader (SFW)

"I'm Not Wearing Underwear" - Prompt

Headcanons

Jealousy, Jealousy - Jealous!Reader x Joel / Jealous!Reader x Tommy (Most Popular Fic!)

Jealousy, Jealousy (Part Two) - Jealous!Reader x Joel

Joel's Kinks

That's My Girl - Jealous, Possessive Joel x Reader

Differences Between Game!Joel & Show!Joel

Playing Rough - Joel x Reader (ft spanking & the knife handle).

Mine - Possessive!Reader x Joel

DBF! Joel Catching You Staring At His Arms

'Accidentally' Getting Joel A Shirt That's Too Small

DBF! Joel Has Enough Of Your Teasing

DBF! Joel With A Bratty Reader

Joel Sees Your Scars (SFW)

Seducing Joel

Joel Wants You In Sub Space

Oblivion - Joel x Reader (Established Consent / DubCon CW)

Breathe Through It - Joel x Anxious!Reader (SFW)

Pre Game - DBF!Joel x Confident!Reader

Plus Size Reader Is Reassured By Joel (SFW)

“We Have To Make This Quick” - Prompt

Joel When You’re Sick (Headcanons)

Curls - Jackson!Joel x AFAB!Reader

Honeypot - Joel “kisses it better”,

Heat - Ezra x F!Reader

Taste - Ezra x F!Reader, short continuation of Heat

Ache - Ezra x AFAB Reader (Sex Pollen Fic)

Jealousy, Jealousy (Alt Version)

Bedside Manner (TLOU2 Spoilers!)

Taboo

Fall In Love In A Single Touch - modern!Oberyn (fluff & hurt/comfort)

A Breath Of Fresh Air - (Dubcon Smut)

[metalnecklace]

Stubborn When It Comes To This

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Words: 9075 (this really got away from me)

Warnings: Smut (mdni), Plus size reader, Use of (Y/N), Probably some historical inaccuracies, Mentions of canon character death, Language, Oral (both f and m receiving), Fingering, Light choking, Spitting, Creampie, Unsafe sex (wrap it up, folks), Praise, Consent is sexy!, Pet names

Notes: This was supposed to be a super quick thing, I have no idea what happened

Summary: Javier Peña is frustrating, until he isn’t.

Masterlist

Arrogant.

If I could pick any word to describe Javier Peña that’s the one I’d use. Arrogant. Or maybe asshole. Bastard. Piece of shit.

Maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

I had been working with the DEA for about two years as a secretary, and usually didn’t have much issue. Luckily most of the men left me alone due to my larger frame, but not even that stopped the infuriating Agent Peña from being a thorn in my side. My entire time was spent blocking him from documents he wanted, no matter how hard he shamelessly flirted with me for the first few months before he gave up the charade. I knew it wasn’t sincere, and I knew I’d be the one getting in trouble if I let him have what he wanted.

So I said the one word he hated the most: No.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he sighed, exasperated. “Just give me what I want. Do you understand what’s at stake here?”

“Yeah, my job,” I grumbled, “and my sanity. Javier, we can't keep doing this.”

“You’re right, we can’t. So give me those files.”

I looked up at him, putting down the pen I had been writing with. “I can’t give you those files. I barely have access to them, so what makes you think you can?”

He chewed his lip, staring at me while I refused to budge. “Fine. But if Escobar gets away again I’ll know who to blame.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m to blame for your incompetence.”

He narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenching so hard his lips were in a pout. I thought for a moment he looked almost adorable, but shook the thought from my head the second it entered.

“You know what? That’s fine. You sit here like a good girl behind your desk and frilly little blouse, while I put my ass on the line so you can live safely.” He stood up to his full height, looking down his nose at me. I had never felt smaller, but couldn’t avert my gaze. “Can I have the files, yes or no?”

“Fuck you, Javi.” I gritted out between my teeth.

He grumbled something under his breath that sounded like mierda, then turned on his heel and marched away.

I grabbed a scrap piece of paper from my desk and spent the next fifteen minutes scribbling on it with my pen until it ripped through the surface. It was upsetting, the way he got under my skin like no other. I had never dealt with anybody like Javier Peña.

It had been a lot tougher to deal with him since Carillo’s passing. He no longer danced around the subject as much, and got straight to the point. Or demands, I should say. His patience was thinner and it seemed as though it was getting harder for him to keep his temper at bay.

I felt bad about my comment. He had never spoken to me the way he had, even when I had frustrated him so much in the past. But I knew he was still feeling the weight of Carillo’s death. It was no secret Javi blamed himself.

I had just gotten so sick of his attitude, I couldn’t stop the words from slipping out. Of course he had called me a good girl too. I was always dressed like a school teacher instead of the usual classy outfits the secretaries had. They always looked so poised, perfect, and sexy, whereas I always felt a bit frumpy when I tried to show off a bit more of my body. So I stuck to the knee length pencil skirts with flowy, frilly blouses tucked in and buttoned all the way up.

Perhaps what bothered me most was that he was doing the one thing that most of the women in that office were accused of. Everybody knew he slept around, either with informants or the other women in the office that allowed his company. When he wasn’t partaking in those options he could be found at the whorehouse or the bar. He did everything to get what he needed, who he needed. But the second any of the women indulged in the same they were shamed by the men around them.

On my very first day I could see Javier Peña coming from a mile away. The way his jeans wrapped around his legs and ass like they were made just for his shape, and the glisten of his skin shining underneath the top three undone buttons of his shirt. The pout of his lips, the warmth of his eyes. I could feel myself drooling just watching the way he sauntered down the hall to my desk. His fingers stretched out over the paperwork on my desk in front of me as he leaned in like we were sharing a secret. The pout on his lips slipped into a smile that made me glad I was already sitting down. That smile disappeared once he realized I wasn’t going to be giving him what he wanted.

He tried the sweet approach for months, but I never budged. It frustrated him, that was apparent, but I couldn’t afford to get in trouble because of him. I had been transferred to Colombia because I was well trusted in my position at home, and didn’t need to jeopardize that reputation because of some pretty boy.

Even though he was very, very pretty.

I didn’t see him for two weeks after my comment about his incompetence. It was strange enough for me to notice, since I usually saw him every few days if not every day. I hadn’t even seen him around the office, which meant he was either away or avoiding me. I figured it was the former since I doubted I was even a speck on his radar. Sure we pissed each other off, and I usually went home imagining what it would be like to go home to him, but to him I was just a pain in the ass secretary who stood in his way.

Eventually news traveled down the pipeline that Javi had been caught up in Los Pepes, which was a complete shock to me. I never suspected he would do something like that, but I assumed that just showed I didn’t know him well enough at all.

Without his presence the office seemed duller. I found I was just moving through the days, not realizing how much I had looked forward to our little arguments before.

When Murphy announced that they got Escobar, the first person I thought of was Javi. The man who had spent all that time, all those years, just to be sent home in the final hour. My heart ached for him, but I was mostly just glad the fight was over.

The fight with Escobar, anyway.

It wasn’t long before we were assigned to the Cali Cartel case. Some of the secretaries were leaving, but a select few got to be reassigned. I wasn’t sure where I was going to be assigned, but was told that I had specifically been requested.

Imagine my surprise to find I had been requested by Javier Peña himself.

I walked into his office, expecting to find a new agent, but found those eyes pinning me in place.

“Javi?” My mouth was gaped open, and I’m sure my eyebrows were raised comically high on my forehead.

“(Y/N),” he greeted me as though it was the most normal thing in the world. “You’re early.”

“You’re the one who requested me?” I asked, still shocked. “Why are you even here? I thought you got sent home.”

He chuckled and resumed looking down at the files on his desk. “I was, then they called me back. Turns out they need someone willing to do what it takes. As for you, yes, I requested you. Turns out you’re willing to do the same.”

He looked back up and met my eyes, his lips were quirked into a slight smile.

“I figured if you could keep me away from those files that long then I’d need someone like you guarding me.”

“Guarding you?” I was so confused.

“Yes.” He stood up and walked around his desk so he was standing in front of me. Whenever I had spoken to him in the past I had been sitting at my desk with him hovering over me. This time we were face to face, and although he was still taller than me it felt nice to at least be closer to eye level. “I need somebody to make sure I’m not bothered throughout the day. I have way more responsibility and people depending on me than before, and I can’t have people thinking they can interrupt me whenever they think their bullshit is more important than mine.”

I nodded, chewing on my lip. My heart stuttered as I watched his eyes flick to my movements before moving back up my face.

“That’s funny,” I finally said, “considering it was you who used to think their bullshit was the most important.”

His smile grew into a smirk. “Exactly. Which is how I know you’ll be perfect.”

My face heated at his praise, but I turned away before he could notice. “Great. I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”

I was stationed just outside his office door, and did my best to keep people out unless he told me otherwise. Although I was slightly annoyed to not only be working with him yet again, but to be working for him, there was a strong part of me that wanted to do my best. I wanted to do well for him.

To be good for him.

Javi was right, though, he did have more riding on his shoulders. There were times where he worked throughout the night, and I would walk in the next morning to find him in the same spot as he was the evening before with the same clothes. Other times he was gone for a few days, or even weeks.

I was usually quite swamped with whatever he needed me to do, but even though I worked for him I felt like I never saw him. Javi’s voice over the phone became a comfort, because then at least I’d know he was alive and well. Or at least physically well.

“Javi, are you alright?” I asked during a phone call one afternoon.

“Yeah,” he grunted, “of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He hung up, leaving me wondering what he wasn’t sharing. Not that he owed me any explanation. His work was exhausting, and he was putting every part of himself into it.

He finally caught one of the brothers, and the office decided to go out to the bar to celebrate the amazing victory. Javi didn’t seem to care that he made a huge step forward in not only the case, but also his career, and told everyone to go out without him. I watched his back, forever tense, as he dragged his feet into his office with his head down. He didn’t even acknowledge me when he passed by, but I tried to ignore the hurt that radiated through my bones.

I was dismissed with just a wave of his hand, and I went home to change. It had been a while since I had gone anywhere but work and home, and I couldn’t help but feel as though I wanted more. Every time I went home at the end of the day I longed for someone to fall into.

My closet was almost embarrassing, since I mostly had workwear that was not usually appropriate for a bar. In that moment I envied the other women at the office with their working outfits that looked so easy to transform to nighttime events. There were a few girls I had become friends with, but they were much smaller than me so I wouldn’t even be able to raid their wardrobes, and I was too proud to ask for fashion advice.

I swiped through skirt after skirt after blouse until I came across a dress I had tucked away toward the back. The tags were still on, but the little black number was perfect. It was slightly small when I squeezed myself into it, but only slightly. I just wouldn’t be able to sit in it. I also had to leave one of my top buttons undone, showing off the slopes of my breasts. The hemline was a bit shorter than the pencil skirts I usually sported, but it did the trick.

The mirror reflected a woman that I nearly didn’t recognize, until my red painted lips turned up into a smile. My eyes squinted a bit at the corners, showing my true happiness to be out of the office and ready to take on the nightlife.

I was on my way to the designated bar when I felt a pang in my chest, like a tug toward a certain building. Leaning forward, I asked the cab driver if we could make a quick stop. We pulled up outside the office and I slowly made my way inside. The lights in the hallways were dimmer than usual since the other offices were unoccupied, but one doorway was still bright.

Of course he was still there.

I stood in the doorway and studied him for a moment. Javi’s white shirt was a bit wrinkled, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a few buttons undone. His tie was laying off to the side across his desk, next to his arms which led up to where his hands cradled his head. He was clearly stressed, if the ash tray of cigarettes were any indication, along with the empty bottle of whiskey next to them.

For a moment I thought about walking over to him and smoothing my hands over his shoulders. They seemed so tense they were almost up to his ears. But I knew that wouldn’t be the right move. Instead I just knocked softly on the doorframe.

He jumped a bit, looking up to see who was there. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head once he saw me, and he dragged his gaze down my body and back up to my face. I could feel my chest heating up but stayed steady on my feet. I knew what I looked like, and felt better in my skin than I had in a long time.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, both confusion and shock etched across his features.

“I should be asking you the same question,” I said. “You know we’re celebrating your accomplishment right? If you’re not going to join us, at least give yourself a bit of a break.”

He sighed and sat back in his chair, his hands clasped together on his lap. “Just because I caught one of them doesn’t mean crime stops for the night.”

I shrugged. “I know, but still. Why don’t you relax for the night and let them panic a bit?”

“I haven’t seen you wear that before,” he commented, changing the subject to keep me from pressing. To my shock, his eyes shamelessly roamed my figure once more.

He used to flirt before he gave up, back when I was just a barrier between him and whatever he wanted. But even then, he would comment on my hair, accessories, nails, but never my body. Even when he commented on my clothes it was a throwaway comment about the patterns or adornments.

The way he was following the way the fabric of my dress hugged my waist, my hips, my soft tummy, had me blushing like crazy. It wasn’t subtle by any means, and certainly not what I was used to from Javi.

“Yeah, I bought it a while ago but never had a reason to wear it.” I smoothed down imaginary wrinkles as a way to distract myself from his gaze. “Figured now was as good a time as any.”

He hummed in agreement and looked back down to the papers sprawled out on his desk. I wondered briefly what it would be like to be those papers before tamping down that train of thought. My face was already burning from his attention, I didn’t need to make it worse.

“Well, I hope you have fun tonight. You’ve been working quite hard, you deserve a break.” He still stared ahead at the papers, as if it was too difficult to look at me again.

“Javi,” I said, causing him to drag his eyes away enough to finally look me in the eye, “you should really come.”

He nodded slowly, then looked away once more. “I’ll try.”

I sighed and wished him a goodnight, hoping I would see him again before the night was through. The click of my heels echoed throughout the empty hallway as I walked away from Javi’s doorway.

Although I occupied myself with my small group of work friends at the bar, I still kept a lookout for my boss just in case he actually attempted to make an appearance. After about an hour I gave up, realizing that he wasn’t going to grace us with his presence.

I had known that in the past he would only go out with either Carillo or Murphy, that he wasn’t the celebratory type, but I had hoped things had changed.

One of my coworkers approached me. I hadn’t really talked to him other than being the middle person whenever he needed to speak to Javi, but he seemed quite nice.

“I don’t normally see you out of work,” he said. His name was James, and he was slightly taller than Javi, but didn’t have an ounce of his charm.

“That’s because I’m hardly ever out of work.” I chuckled, bringing my drink to my lips. When I first ordered it I had to struggle not to cringe at the strong taste, but after another two it was going down like water. Dangerous, but much needed.

“I’d love to see more of you,” James said, not shy in the way his eyes took in every part of me. I felt myself struggling not to shy away, so unlike the confidence I felt when Javi did the same. “You’ll have to get the boss man to give you some more time away.”

I smiled. “Yeah, like that will ever happen. You know he needs the best,” I joked.

James stepped closer, his cologne invading my senses. “Well, he needs to learn how to share.”

“Who needs to share?”

My back straightened as though someone shoved a rod through my spine. “Javi?” I asked spinning to see him standing behind me, a smile directed at me, his eyes downright murderous toward James.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Javi brought his glass of, what I assumed was whiskey to his lips, and raised his hand to my lower back. I welcomed the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of my dress while his eyes remained on the man in front of us.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming out,” James spoke calmly, as if he couldn’t tell the tension radiating between us. “I heard you weren’t the partying type. Well, anymore.”

Javi’s smile never wavered, but his eyes darkened enough that I noticed. “I wasn’t planning on making an appearance but somebody reminded me of how hard we’ve all been working.” He turned to look at me, his hand tightening slightly on my back. “If we don’t celebrate our successes we might as well let them win now.”

“You mean your success?” James wasn’t backing down.

“Teamwork.” Javi countered, looking back up at James. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.” His hand slipped around to my hip, pulling me into his space. James’ eyes flickered to the motion, his smile turning into a smirk.

“Wow. Looks like you’ve grown up a bit, Peña.”

“Someone had to.” His hand tightened, my chest felt on fire.

James glanced toward me, then the hand at my hip, before aiming his glare back to Javi. “Although it is comforting to see some habits haven’t changed.” He stepped back, turning to part from us, but not before throwing over his shoulder, “you two have a wonderful night!”

I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye before James was out of sight. Javi removed his hand from me and started to walk away, but not before I spun on him, ready for a fight.

“What the fuck was that?” I was shocked at Javi’s display, but mostly downright furious.

He shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“All of this,” I gestured between us, and to my hip, still feeling the warmth of his skin, “and the whole ‘someone had to’? Are you serious?”

His eyes darkened. “What are you trying to say here?”

“You have no right,” I hissed through my teeth in anger. “I may work for you but I don’t belong to you.”

“I didn’t even do anything. If you want to keep talking to James, be my guest.” He stepped closer, I could smell the whiskey on his lips. “But don’t think I’m going to stand by while that shitbag tries to pick you up.”

“Maybe I wanted him to pick me up, ever think about that?” I crossed my arms, then immediately uncrossed them when his eyes flickered to my cleavage on display.

“I did think about it, but thought you might want to know what kind of man was trying to do it.” He downed the rest of his drink then zeroed back in on me. “That man has been sleeping his way through the office and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. I didn’t think you’d want to be one of them.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “So he’s you?”

His lips tightened into a thin line, his jaw clenching. “Right.”

It felt like someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I wasn’t completely wrong either.

“Javi, I’m sorry I-“

He held up his hand. “No, you’re right. I won’t be bothering you anymore, don’t worry. Have a good rest of your night.”

I didn’t bother trying to stop him as he set his empty glass at the bar and walked away. I sighed, finding myself alone, and when I looked around I noticed James was already chatting with another woman, her head thrown back in laughter. My night was ruined, so I went home.

Javi didn’t return to the office for another week. I had been told he was away looking for ways to keep Gilberto Rodriguez in prison, but he hadn’t left me a single note. He never even called me the entire time he was away. I worked away with what I had delivered to me by others, but Javier Peña never contacted me directly.

He had to return to his office eventually, but it only happened after Franklin Jurado was murdered. I knew Javi was beyond pissed and frustrated. But so was I, especially after he walked into his office without a single acknowledgment thrown my way.

I immediately stood and followed him into his office before he even had a chance to sit down.

“What do you need, (Y/N)?” He asked, still not looking my way,

“What do I need? What do I need, Javier?” My chest heaved while I tried to contain my anger. “What the fuck?”

He finally looked up, his face placid. “Unless this has to do with keeping that motherfucker locked up, then I suggest you save it for later.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, then walked out of his office, slamming the door behind me. I barely paused to grab my purse before storming out of the office, not giving a single shit who was watching my temper tantrum.

I marched myself to the nearest bar, ordering the cheapest whiskey they had. I wasn’t wanting to get drunk, just needed to dull the senses a bit. Calm the fires that licked at my heart.

Two drinks later I found myself feeling enough of the effects and bravery for what I wanted to do. I laid more than enough cash on the bar and clutched my purse to keep me steady as I walked out and in the direction of a certain apartment.

I had only been to Javi’s apartment once before, and it was only to drop off paperwork he had needed. He had barely cracked the door, not wanting to cross our work and home boundaries, which I appreciated in the moment. This time I was ready to run across those boundaries if he’d let me.

Javi never answered his door. I knocked over and over but no response. I sighed, realizing he probably hadn’t left the office. It felt as though I was doing a walk of shame as I made my way out to the street to try and flag down a cab.

The cab passed by the office and I almost asked if we could stop, but no longer felt the fight that had brought me to Javi’s apartment. Instead I just rested my head on the window and watched the lights pass by until we stopped outside my place. I trudged up the small flight of stairs and rounded the corner to find the man I had been looking for leaning against my door.

He was still in his navy suit from work, though his white dress shirt underneath was slightly wrinkled. His tie was missing which gave me room to see the expanse of tan skin exposed with his top three buttons undone.

I stopped in my tracks. “What’re you doing here?”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge deal. “It’s later. I figured you still wanted to talk.”

I glared at him, his expression still not changing as if he was already bored from what I would have to say. Instead of lashing out in my hallway I pushed past him to unlock the door. I walked in leaving it open, he got to choose whether or not he crossed that boundary. Sure enough, I heard the door close with a click and the lock slid into place. I was glad he took the same safety precautions as me.

“Take a seat wherever.” I waved toward my living room before making my way into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and thought about it before pouring myself more whiskey. Javi would appreciate it, but I probably needed to slow down. I poured myself a glass of water instead.

I brought his alcohol and my water out to the living room and handed him the former before sitting in the chair opposite him.

“So,” he started, “what did you want to talk about? Back at the office, I mean.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “You’ve been a real jerk.”

He didn’t seem shocked whatsoever and nodded for me to keep going.

“I’ve been working my ass off for you, even though I did not like you, and you’ve been so rude. You hardly give me the time of day, and the whole James thing was fucked up.” I felt like everything I had to say was falling apart. I was spiraling, no longer fueled by the alcohol and anger running through my bloodstream just an hour earlier.

“Okay,” he said. “You done?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m done.”

He stood up, drained his glass, and placed it on the table. “Alright. Sorry for being an ass. Hope you have a good night.”

My mouth dropped open as he turned to leave. “Javi!”

He stopped but didn’t turn back to look at me.

“You can’t just leave, don’t you have anything to say?” I stood up and walked over to stand in front of him. He wouldn’t look at me.

“I don’t have anything to say. I apologized, what more do you want?”

“Javi, come on. There must be something else going on. I know you’re frustrated with work but that doesn’t explain your behaviour-“

His head snapped up, his eyes locking on mine.

“You have no idea what I’m feeling so don’t fucking act like it.”

“Then tell me! Tell me, Javi,” I begged.

He grabbed my upper arms and pushed me back toward the wall. His hand came up to the back of my head to cushion it against the hard surface, causing my breath to catch in my throat. I couldn’t look away from the heat burning in his eyes, intense and focused directly on me.

“I have seen shit that would keep you up nights. Stuff nightmares are made of. And I’m so fucking tired. Half the reason I smoke as much as I do, no matter how hard I’ve tried to quit, are to stop my hands from shaking, and the only comfort I’ve found is either in someone else’s bed or at the end of a fucking bottle.” He softened his grip on my arm. “Until I met you.”

I opened my mouth to speak but the look he gave me was enough to stop me in my tracks.

“Ever since you walked through that door you’ve been the only thing I think about. Whiskey doesn’t taste the same, smoking has lost all its effect, and I wouldn’t dream of being in any bed but yours. If only you’d have me. I know I don’t deserve you. You’re so good, you’re the hope in this world. I don’t deserve to carve out my own comfort in you.” He pushed himself even closer. I could feel the heat between our lips. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you. Craving you.”

He leaned in, his nose brushing against the underside of my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled my scent, sighing out and causing goosebumps to erupt over my skin.

“If you tell me to stop then I will, just say the word. I’ll walk away, I’ll move away if I have to. I’ll never bother you again.” His voice was raspy, a restraint pulled tight over his vocal cords. “But if you don’t stop me then I’m afraid I never will. I’m addicted to you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

“Javi,” I breathed, finally opening my eyes again to find him pulled away enough to observe my reaction. “I-“

He shook his head slightly. “Yes or no, querida. Do you want this? Do you want me as much as I want you?” His voice was a whisper, barely loud enough to hear, shared only between us like a secret though we were alone.

I nodded my head, then said, “yes, Javi. Yes.”

Kissing him was like coming home after a long day. The plush press of his lips quenched a thirst I didn’t realize was that strong within me. It was everything I wanted. Everything I needed.

His arms were strong as they held me against his body, pulling me in tighter and tighter. I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t stop. Our lips slotted together perfectly, he pushed and I pulled, drinking him in. I moaned into his mouth, giving him an opportunity to slide his tongue past my lips.

We pulled away gasping for air, our chests heaving together. His eyes searched mine for any sign of regret or hesitancy. He never found it. The only thing radiating from my very being was want.

“Wow,” I sighed out, “that was… wow.”

He chuckled and leaned in to peck at my lips. “It doesn’t have to stop if you don’t want it to.” His lips smudged kisses across my jaw, then down to my neck. I moaned when he reached my collarbone, licking a strip up behind my ear.

“I don’t ever want to stop,” I said, slightly out of breath.

“Good,” he growled against my skin before sinking his teeth in enough to make me groan. “Me neither.”

“I need you, Javi,” I said, my voice turning to a moan at the tail end of his name.

“I know, lo se, hermosa,” he spoke between bites along my neck. “Show me your bed, baby.”

I pulled back as much as he would let me and led him by the front of his shirt through my hallway until we got to my room. Before I could turn around to face him again he had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his front. His name left my lips in sighs and moans while his hands slid up my body to cup my breasts, all while his lips still continued exploring any inch of skin they could reach.

My ass pressed back against his aching cock that could be felt through his suit pants. He pulled his lips away from my neck enough to whimper in my ear as I kept grinding myself back against him. His thumbs rubbed against my nipples through the fabric of my blouse and bra, but soon enough he pulled away with a huff.

“You look so sexy in this outfit, baby, but I need to feel you,” he said, his eyes roving over my clothed figure. He reached up and flicked the frills at my collar with his fingertips, smiling gently at me.

“Thought you hated the frills.” I remembered him commenting on them several times.

He shook his head, disbelief in his eyes. “They drive me fucking crazy, keeping up that good girl image. You were always such a good girl with everyone.” He leaned in and kissed me, pulling away just enough that I could still feel his lips. “For everyone except me.”

I gasped as he bit my lower lip, tugging on it slightly. His hands started undoing the buttons on my blouse as he kept talking.

“Always so vulgar, dismissive, uncaring with me. Pushing me away, telling me no.” His lips followed the skin he uncovered as he continued to slowly unbutton my shirt. “But you can be a good girl, can’t you?”

He looked up at me, his big, brown eyes tugging at my heart. He smirked and shoved me backward onto the bed. I barely got my bearings before feeling his body following mine, caging me in. There was no way I could move as he pressed me into the mattress and continued kissing his way down my body.

“You’re going to be such a good girl for me. Aren’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, Javi,” I moaned. “I’ll be so good for you.”

I had never planned on giving in so quickly to Javi but I melted as soon as I felt his lips on me.

“Good fucking girl,” he growled against my lower abdomen. His hands slipped down to my skirt which he peeled down my legs. “God, these thighs. They look fucking delicious.”

I went to close them, feeling too open for him, but he slapped the inside of one of them before I could. He chased the sting with a gentle kiss, then sucked a trail of marks inside my thighs up to my center. He practically ripped my panties off, bringing them to his nose and inhaling while his eyes were locked onto mine.

Lord, he was sinful. And I needed him bad.

“Javi,” I groaned, pressing my head back into the bed.

“Ask nicely, hermosa.” His hands slipped up my calves and thighs, pushing my legs apart enough for him to settle between them. He was on his knees on the floor, and my legs were over his shoulders. “I thought you were a good girl.”

“Please, Javi. Please,” I begged. I wasn’t even sure what I was asking for, pleasure forming a steady haze in my mind. All I knew was that if he didn’t touch me I was going to go crazy.

“There we go,” he said before sliding his thumb through my slit. He ran it over my clit before moving further toward my hole. “Fuck, so wet. You’re absolutely soaked for me.”

I gripped onto the blankets as his tongue swiped over my clit. His name and ‘please’ were the only words I could say or think while his head was buried between my thighs. My back arched as his tongue was relentless on my clit, his hands warm and firm holding my legs in place.

“Are you always wet like this? Or is it just for me?” He asked, pulling away enough to circle me with his middle finger. I writhed on the bed, wanting more. “You don’t have to answer that, baby, I think I already know.”

His finger slowly pushed into me, and I moaned for him. “Javi, fuck, need you, Javi.”

“Lo sé, querida, but I need you to be patient for me.” He continued to fuck me slowly with his finger, then slipped another one inside. I practically lifted off the bed when he crooked them and hit the right spot. “There we go.”

“Javi, please,” I breathed, my chest heaving. “I want to cum.”

He smirked at me, then spit directly on my clit. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feeling of his spit sliding between my folds.

“Filthy, baby, you’re fucking filthy. You love this, don’t you?” He dove back in, sucking my bud into his mouth while he was rubbing against the exact spot I needed.

Lightning started to shoot through my veins, and I knew I was close. Just in time for him to leave my clit. His tongue traveled down until it was fucking into me between his fingers. My chest burned as a blush spread up to my neck as I opened up for him. His nose nudged at my clit once, then twice, until it became a steady rhythm.

He pulled away. “Ride my face, baby, use your hips.” He pushed his tongue into me then pulled back out. “I won’t break, I can take it, come on. Fuck my face.”

I groaned and reached down to fist his hair between my fingers. He slipped his fingers from my cunt and wrapped his arms around my hips, pulling me down on his face. His nose pressed deliciously against my clit and his tongue continued to lick into me. I started to buck my hips, testing out the waters until he used his grip on me to encourage more movement.

It wasn’t long before I was pulling his head as close as possible and grinding my hips against him. Javi moaned against me, the vibration racing through my body. My toes started to curl as his grip tightened into steel. A thrill ran through me at the thought that there might be marks afterward, that his fingerprints would be worn into my skin as a reminder of how I felt in that moment.

My orgasm hit me like a bolt of lightning as it shot through me. “Javi, Javi, Javi,” I chanted.

He groaned and finally pulled away once I fell limp. “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful when you cum.”

I lifted my head to look at the man still on his knees for me. His face glistened with my juices, and my mouth watered at the thought of tasting myself on his lips. A blush continued to creep up onto my cheeks as I took in his disheveled appearance. He was still wearing his suit, which was extremely rumpled, and reminded me that I was still in my blouse and bra.

He leaned forward and kissed me, before he started to slide my shirt off my shoulders, then moved his hands to the straps of my bra. It was almost strange how delicate he was after the strength he showed while holding me to his face, but he was gentle as he slid my straps down my arms. One of his hands went up my back to the clasp, and he undid it with a simple motion. I gasped as he smirked at me while pulling the fabric off my chest.

I was always very conscious of my breast size. They were considerably larger from a young age, and something I had always tried to hide. The first time I hadn’t was that night at the bar. I thought about shying away from Javi as he uncovered them, but the look in his eyes made me freeze. His pupils almost completely engulfed the deep brown, and they were fixated on my fully exposed body.

“Holy fuck, hermosa,” he growled, reaching up to cup both breasts in his warm palms. “I knew you were beautiful, but seeing you like this? Unbelievable.”

His thumbs smoothed over my nipples, making me moan. The warmth of his mouth pressed on my sternum, then moved to my right breast.

“Javi,” I sighed, one of my hands coming up to the back of his head. His hair was still ruffled from when my hands were in it before, and he moaned when I gave a gentle tug to the curls at his nape.

He licked over my nipple, making my body jerk. “What do you need, baby?”

“Clothes, off, please,” I panted as he absolutely tortured my nipples with his teeth and tongue. “Need to see you.”

He pulled back, locking me in place with just a look. Slowly he started to slide his suit jacket off, maintaining eye contact even when he started undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. My skin vibrated with a restless want, my fingers itched to reach out and touch the tan planes of his stomach that he revealed to me. I was practically salivating by the time he dropped his shirt to the floor. His fingers moved to the button of his pants but I reached out to stop him.

“Wait,” I said. “Let me. Please.”

He smiled and dropped one of his hands, the other coming up to smooth the hair out of my face. “Okay, baby. You go ahead.”

I continued on, beaming up at him, trying my hardest to be sexy but the euphoria running through my limbs made it impossible. My fingers were trembling at the thought of what I was doing, but I pressed on, determined not to let him see how nervous I was. A firm grip on the underside of my jaw caused me to pause.

Javi lifted my face so I could see his. “(Y/N). We don’t have to keep going. We can stop right here if you want.”

I shook my head as much as I could in his hold. “I don’t want to stop. Just nervous is all.”

He nodded. “Take your time, I’m in no rush as long as I’m with you.”

His words caused my smile to grow almost too large for my face. I could tell he meant it, his smile matching mine even through the dark look in his eyes. Even if I couldn’t feel the heat radiating from his body, and the hardness just on the other side of his pants, I would know how turned on he was.

I popped the button on his pants and slowly dragged the zipper down. “Such a good girl,” he cooed above me, keeping me going.

The dusting of hair leading down his pants was soft against the back of my fingers as I revealed more and more skin. Where I thought his underwear should begin was bare, and when I started to pull the fabric down I was met with the thick base of his cock.

I glanced up and his hand reached down and cupped my jaw, his thumb smoothing over my bottom lip and dragging it down until it popped back up. I felt like I was barely breathing as I refocused on the task at hand and pulled his pants the rest of the way down.

His cock was smooth as velvet and heavy in my hand. I heard him inhale sharply as I started to drag my hand slowly toward his tip then back down to the base. I lowered my head until my lips were perched at the slit, and poked my tongue out to catch the bead of precum that had gathered there. He hissed through his teeth as I hummed at the taste of him.

“Fuck, baby, stop teasing,” he grunted, reaching his hand to the back of my head. I waited for him to pull me closer to his length but he never did.

I parted my lips and slid the head of his cock into my mouth further and further until I could feel the weight of him settle on my tongue. The taste of him was heady, and flooded my senses. Salt, skin, warmth, and him.

Before I could continue pushing myself further, his hand came around to my throat and wrapped around firmly. He pressed back and I had no choice but to pull myself off his cock, and continued to follow his grip until he had me pinned on the bed. His hand squeezed once around my neck, enough for me to feel lightheaded for a moment, and then he pulled away.

Javi slowly tugged at his cock, now throbbing and fully hard, while he watched me. My mouth was still agape and my chest rose and fell steadily.

“I’m sorry, hermosa, but I need to fuck you.”

I couldn’t speak, too stunned at the ghost of his grip on my neck. I had never had somebody do that, but the way he had wrapped his hand around my throat caused a steady pulse to erupt between my legs. I wanted his hands back on me, wherever he wanted to put them.

He kicked off his pants and socks, then climbed on the bed next to me. I pushed myself up until I was laying on my back toward the top of my bed, my head on a pillow. Javi watched with his mouth in the shape of an ‘O’, trailing his eyes up my legs, my stomach, my chest, then landing on my face.

He moved so he was on his knees between mine, and brought his fist down to his cock once more. I watched, mesmerized by the sight of the wet head of his cock disappearing in his large fist, as he lazily stroked himself.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded, his voice soft but firm.

I obeyed immediately, bringing my hand down between my legs and circling my clit with my middle finger.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “you look so good. You’re doing so good for me, baby, so good. Fuck.”

“Javi,” I whimpered for him. “I need you. Please, I need you so bad.”

I was absolutely aching for him, electricity lighting up my nerves while he watched me pleasure myself all for him. I gasped at the feeling of his cock sliding between my folds and looked to see him thrusting his hips against me. He held firm onto the base of his cock, directing it to nudge against my entrance before sliding it up to my clit instead, over and over and over.

“Beg,” he said. He didn’t ask, he spoke calmly as if he wasn’t torturing me.

“What?” I asked, unsure that I even heard him right.

“I said,” he slapped his cock against my clit, making my entire body jolt on the bed, “beg.”

I thought about what that meant for him. After years of begging me for something as simple as basic files, and after years of me telling him no, he now had me in the palm of his hand. For a second I thought about saying no, then he slapped his cock down again. Tears sprang to the corners of my eyes at the sensitivity, and I gasped when he pressed himself at my entrance.

“Please,” I whispered, “please, Javi. I need you, I need your cock inside me. Please fuck me.”

He sighed, pulling back. “You’re lucky my patience has run out. Next time you’ll have to do better.”

The thought of ‘next time’ raced through my mind, but that was cut short when he started steadily pushing in. The stretch of him caused my head to fall back into the pillow and a guttural moan was ripped from deep within my chest.

He stilled when he was settled all the way, and I wiggled my hips to feel more of him. He leant down and braced one hand on the bed next to my head, while the other gripped onto my outer thigh.

“Want to be gentle with you,” he said, his words coming out tight. “Want you to feel good.”

“Don’t. Don’t be gentle, please.” I panted underneath him, sweat starting to prickle at my skin. “Want to feel it, I want to feel all of you, Javi. Don’t hold back.”

He pulled out abruptly, and I whined at the loss of him. “I need you on top,” he said, helping me move so he could take my place on the bed. His hands guided me so I was straddling him. “You want to be good for me, right?”

I nodded, feeling my nerves creep up. He could see all of me, and I would be the one in control.

“Then fuck me like a good girl.”

He pulled my hips down into his length, and I threw my head back as he sunk further and further in. Once I was fully seated my entire body shuddered. His lips were parted with his tongue sliding out to wet them as he looked at me like I was his next meal.

“Look at you, baby, mierda,” his voice somehow came out incredibly sweet and syrupy, even though I could feel every ridge of his cock against my walls. “Ride my cock, that’s it, ride me like I’m yours, I’m all yours, baby, all yours.”

The only sound I could make was a squeaky, high pitched moan as my legs burned from bouncing on him. My hands were perched on his chest while his traveled up my body to grasp my tits. He held me firm and I used the opportunity to switch up what I was doing.

“Oh, Javi,” my voice came out lower than expected once I started to grind myself against his pelvis. His name continued to pour from my lips, getting more and more breathy until I was just shaping my lips around the letters.

“That’s it, good girl,” he continued his praise, which made me grind down even harder. “Such a good fucking girl.”

My orgasm approached steadily, less of a punch to the gut as the last one, and my thighs tightened around his torso. I continued to grind myself back and forth, my toes curling, his words and moans spurring me on. I reached up to one of his hands and pulled it off my breast, leading it up to grip around my throat. Finally I gasped out his name as my pleasure pulled me under, squeezing the air out of me until I slumped down over him.

“Oh fuck, such a dirty girl, cumming with my hand around your throat,” he growled.

He barely gave me time to recover, and pulled my upper body closer so he could bend his legs. “Stay still,” he grunted before pounding into me so mercilessly the only thing I could do was hang on to him.

My teeth latched onto his collarbone, and my hands scrambled until they found purchase on his shoulders. He was grunting and gasping while pushing himself in and out of me, my cunt deliciously trying to grip him while I sobbed from oversensitivity.

Javi chanted my name over and over while I continued to bite down on his neck. His hands reached down, one wrapping around my lower body to press me down onto him further, while the other gripped my ass. His body jolted, messing up his rhythm, and he held me even closer to him. I felt so incredibly full as his grip of steel held me firmly in place. His cock pulsed inside me before his hot cum started filling me up.

“Baby,” he whined against my temple, his voice gravelly and torn. “Baby, baby, baby.”

Eventually his body melted, his cock softening inside me. We made no effort to move, and stayed still just breathing together.

“I am never letting you go,” he murmured, his lips still pressed to my hairline above my ear. “You hear me? Never. You’re stuck with me now.”

I chuckled, then gasped when I felt his cock stir. “Sounds good to me.”

He helped me roll over so I was on my side, and he went to find a warm cloth to clean us up. I could feel his cum steadily leaking out of me, but was still a bit sad when he wiped it away. It helped when I saw the way he watched it drip out of me first, almost like he didn’t want it to end either.

We slept in each other's arms that night, and when I awoke to find my face still buried in his chest I couldn’t help but smile. He slowly woke up not long after me, and we laid in bed kissing each other slowly. Our tongues moved lazily together with our soft moans waking us up more and more. He pulled away and I reached for him.

“I can’t, we have to go to work.” He chuckled while gathering his clothes.

I groaned and rolled onto my back so I could watch him. He got dressed while I wished he would do the opposite.

“Can’t we just call in sick?” I mumbled, sleep still thick in my throat.

“Yeah, cause that won’t look suspicious.” He buttoned up his shirt, and started to roll the sleeves up his forearms a bit. “Bad enough I have to walk in there with the same clothes as yesterday.”

I smirked, and got up to get dressed. My smirk turned into a full blown smile, and it didn’t leave when we got into his car together, or when we walked into the office side by side with his hand on my lower back, and not when I sat at my desk.

And it certainly didn’t leave as I watched him continue on into his office with the top three buttons of his shirt still undone, showing off the purpling bruise on his collarbone.

[pascalpvnk]

february fic recs list

hello! welcome to the third installment of my end of the month fic recs posts, sorry it's late, my bad :') listed in no particular order, just as each fic was read! [once again, if your fic has found a cozy home on my tbr blog, don't fret! i will work through each one slowly but surely xx (divider by @saradika-graphics)

heed all warnings according to each fic. if there's something on here that isn't your cup of tea and you don't want to read it, then scroll past. thank you!

HOW TO SUPPORT PALESTINE // IMPORTANT FOR TLOU READERS & WRITERS

fic recs masterlist // main masterlist // most recent fic

a * denotes smut (18+ MDNI!!)

oneshots

Joel Miller

keep it squeaky* - @joelscruff (j.m. x f!reader) in a feud with her neighbor* [bonus scenes] - @proxima-writes (pre-outbreak!j.m. x f!reader) morning cardio* - @joeloverture (dbf!j.m. x f!reader) mornings like these* - @joelsgreys (post-outbreak!j.m. x f!reader) psyche and cupid* - @macfrog (jackson!j.m. x f!reader) jet stream* - @strang3lov3 (soft dom!j.m. x f!afab!reader) it''s your turn for choosing - @familyvideostevie (j.m. x reader) hard pill to swallow.* - @cerridwen007 (j.m. x f!reader) unbelievable* - @joelmillerisapunk (mechanic!j.m. x f!reader) fade in to you - @studioghibelli (j.m. x tommy's gf!reader) nobody's son, nobody's daughter. - @fragilefable (j.m x f!reader) tell me more - @endlessthxxghts (j.m. x f!afab!reader) wildflowers - @tightjeansjavi (j.m. x f!reader)

Frankie Morales

liquid gold* - @endlessthxxghts (f.m. x afab!reader) something right* - @sweetercalypso (f.m. x afab!reader) full* - @endlessthxxghts (f.m. x afab!reader) stupid cupid - @hellishjoel (best friend!f.m. x f!reader) comfortable* - @endlessthxxghts (f.m. x afab!reader) perfect fit* - @lowlights (f.m. x plus-size!f!reader) plus one - @always-andromeda (f.m. x f!reader) valentine's day* - @polaroidpascal (f.m. x f!reader)

Misc.

tres besos - @mrsmando (javier peña x f!reader) solo round* [dating start!] - @futureman (josh futturman x f!reader) keep it* - @jksprincess10 (marcus pike x f!reader)

series

hippies & cowboys* - @cowgurrrl (joel miller x art teacher!reader) ongoing the rite of movement* - @tightjeansjavi (husband!pornstar!joel miller x f!pornstar reader x pornstar!tommy miller) ongoing bark! bite! bleed! [part I*] [part II*] - @cherubispunk (fwb!frankie morales x afab!reader) ongoing

[nerdieforpedro]

Nerdie’s Fanfic Picks - Volume Seven!

All fanfics on this list are for readers age 18 and up, please respect the author's tags, warnings and notes as they're there so you know what's in them. YOU are in charge of your own reading experience!

1. Cuz I love you series (three parts) by @fhatbhabiee (DBF Joel Miller x reader)

2. Afterward - Chapter One by @secretelephanttattoo (Marcus Moreno x female reader)

3. Helpful not so Helpful Guide to Jake Johnson by @soft-persephone

4. A Gift of Life and Joy by @prolix-yuy (Javier Gutierrez x plus size female reader “Conejita)

5. Where the Wild Things Are by @fhatbhabiee (Jack Daniels x reader)

6. Teach You Patience by @frenchiereading (Frankie Morales x ofc)

7. In Bloom by @maggiemayhemnj (AU Ezra x GN reader)

8. Easy Access by @laurfilijames (Will Miller x female reader)

9. Drabble #4 by @drabblesandsnippets (Bucky Barnes x plus size reader)

10. Please Mr. Postman by @legendary-pink-dot (Sleezy mailman Joel Miller x female reader)

11. Afterword - Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 by @secretelephanttattoo (Marcus Moreno x f! Reader)

12. Sleep Tight Love by @superhoeva (Captain John Price x female reader)

13. Obligation by @criticallyacclaimedstranger (Joel Miller x f reader) both are older

14. Barking up the Wrong Tree - Chapter One and Chapter Two by @connectioneverywhere (Frankie Morales x f! Reader)

15. Obscenery by @sin-djarin (Tim Rockford x Dave York)

16. Fifteen hundred and one by @undercoverpena (Frankie Morales x f! Reader)

17. Friendly Face by @sunshineandspencer (Aaron Hotchner x fem receptionist)

18. Pretty Please by @baronessvonglitter (QZ Joel Miller x bookworm f! Reader)

19. It’s lonely at the end of the world (until it’s not) by @guessimwritingficsagain (Joel Miller x f! Reader) Mention of SA and mental trauma

20. Chapter 1 Howdy, Neighbor! by @inept-the-magnificent (Frankie Morales x Shelby plus size OFC)

21. A kind of look by @sunshineandspencer (Spencer Reid x fem BAU reader)

22. Worth A Thousand Words by @intoanotherworld23 (Joel Miller x f! Reader)

23. Raining in Baltimore by @schnarfer (Marcus Pike x f! Reader)

24. Fifteen Minutes by @whocaresstillthelouvre (Din Djarin x f! Cam reader AU)

25. Bunny - One Shot by @whatsnewalycat (Javier Peña x f! Reader)

Nerdie’s Fanfic Picks

Main Masterlist

[campingwiththecharmings]

*These weren’t necessarily written and/or posted in December, but that’s when I read them 😊

🔥 - explicit/mature content

Star Wars

Christmas Tree Farm (Modern!Poe Dameron x Reader) - @dailyreverie

Headcanons for Poe with someone shy and quiet - @ivystoryweaver

🔥Santa Baby (Modern!Poe Dameron x Reader) - @dailyreverie

Moon Knight

🔥Somnophilia (Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @juneknight

Perks of Being a Wallflower (Jake Lockley x Plus Size!F!Reader) - @soft-girl-musings

Blossoms & Whiskers (Jake Lockley x F!Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch

It's Cold Outside (Steven Grant x Reader) - @dailyreverie

🔥My Turn (Marc Spector x F!Reader) - @runa-falls

🔥Study Buddy (Uni!Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @reallyrallyauthor

The Old Oak (Jake Lockley x Reader) - @mccn-bcys

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps (Noir!Jake Lockley x WOC Lounge Singer!Reader) - @soft-girl-musings

🔥Divine Nights (Jake Lockley x F!Reader) - @moonlight-prose

🔥Helpless (Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch

🔥Audible (Steven Grant x F!Reader) - @juneknight

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse

🔥Always Yours, Never Mine (Yandere Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor (new chapter means it gets rec-ed again 😌)

🔥Scratches and Bites (Miguel O'Hara x Spidergirl!Reader) - @runa-falls

🔥After Dark (Dark!Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader) - @runa-falls

Ex Machina

🔥Centerpiece (Nathan Bateman x F!Reader) - @melodygatesauthor

Accidental Kiss (Nathan Bateman x Reader) - @youvebeenlivingfictional

🔥Kinktober Day 9 (Pegging) (Nathan Bateman x Reader) - @youvebeenlivingfictional

🔥(Not) Good Enough (Nathan Bateman x Reader) - @midgardian-witch

🔥Sugar & Spice (Nathan Bateman x F!Reader) - @hon3yboy

Untitled Soft Nathan blurb (Nathan Bateman x Reader) - @eyelessfaces

Triple Frontier

🔥Santi & Aftercare (Santiago Garcia x F!Reader) - @runa-falls

Narcos

🔥Tied Together (Javier Peña x Black!F!Reader) - @spacecowboyhotch

Mojave

🔥Cruel Intentions (Jack x F!Reader) - @hon3yboy

Won't Back Down

🔥High Tension (Youth Pastor!Michael Perry x F!Reader) - @hon3yboy

Inside Llewyn Davis

Untitled Sweet, Fluffy blurb (Llewyn Davis x Reader) - @eyelessfaces

Thank you to all the wonderful writers for sharing their stories with us 🥰❤️

*For more recs, please feel free to check out my fic rec tag.

**If you’d like to have your fic removed from the list, I completely understand, just let me know

[punkypiscesell-writes]

when it comes without a warning - ch. 1

chapter 1 - previous chapter

Javier Peña x plus size f! reader

summary: You meet a stranger at a New Years Eve party, not knowing where that chance encounter might lead.

warnings (updated after each chapter): fake dating AU, strangers to lovers, romcom, 90’s vibes, angst, small town dynamics, slow burn, pining, insecurities, drinking, smoking, food related descriptions, family mentions, mention of pregnancy, cynicism about love. The picture in the header is just for the visual and isn't an indication of the reader's skin color. Not beta read. If you see any broken Spanish, please let me know!!

word count: 9.4k

notes: Here we go, chapter 1! I hope you enjoy it <3 I will be updating this story each month, the final chapter coming out in July. The next update will be on Valentine’s Day.

dividers by cafekitsune

When you were a child, you watched a movie every Saturday evening with your mom. They made you think your life would follow a specific path. Go to school, graduate, you’d find a boyfriend who you’d someday marry and have kids with.

You’d buy a house somewhere quiet with a big garden and a picket fence. The kids would grow up and you’d watch them become their own people while knowing you’d always have your first love with you. You’d look at pictures that would span years until those would turn into decades, with the same people in them getting greyer and wrinkles all over their faces. It would be perfect.

What you didn’t understand back then, was how life doesn’t usually go like in those picture perfect stories. Rarely it’s wrapped neatly with shiny paper and finished off with a flawless bow.

You watched your friends find their first loves while you became a wallflower. You didn’t know what to do in life while others were making decisions about their futures. One by one your old friends moved away to chase their dreams, forgetting the people and memories back home. With the need to get out of the town where you grew up in, like your friends had, you realized you could turn your hobby into a job.

Chasing a dream makes people optimistic and the possibility of having your own story unfold like in one of those movies you used to watch with your mom seemed possible again. You kept your eyes open, even dared to step out of your wallflower persona, full of hope and enthusiasm. When your story still kept you waiting, you understood how chasing love doesn’t always mean chasing romantic love.

In the glimmer of a big city, you found new friends. Abigail, Eileen and Mary were actually interested in talking with you and getting to know who you are outside of being just someone’s friend. They already knew each other having grown up in the same town, but you fit in with them like the last pea in a pod.

“What’s holding you back, you can move anywhere!” Mary drunkenly encouraged on the night of your graduation, while the humidity of Austin bathed you in sweat.

“Yeah, you can start a bakery anywhere!” Abigail offered you her glass to pour more tequila into. How she said it, like it was the simplest thing in the world, made you laugh, and you thought she was joking until you realized she wasn’t. She was far from it.

“And then what? Just rot in some dying town until the end of my days?”

The seed was already planted though. They had a point. You could start a bakery anywhere if you wanted to and you could find help with the business side of things, especially in the beginning.

When you sobered up and you were sitting on an uncomfortable bar stool leaning your elbows against the kitchen island in your small, hole in the wall kitchen. You started to plan it. The more you planned, the more convinced you were you could make it work.

The movies you watched while growing up rarely had people move into a small town with a population of only a few thousand when they could move into a big city and keep those big dreams alive.

You bought a small space for your bakery from a building that used to have a restaurant. Mrs. Sánchez has a flower shop next door, and she has always been supportive of you, even when for a while you were the “new girl” in town. The whispers around you and your business were excessive, but eventually the whispering turned into actual conversations with you, rather than about you.

You had your best friends being part of their family businesses. Your bakery started to bloom. You were in control of the strings in your hands and all the puzzle pieces were clearly laid out, all of them locking into place.

“We want you to clear your schedules next July,” Noah begins with his soft voice, his calmness the complete opposite to Abigail who is hanging from his arm.

“We’re getting married y’all!” Abigail yells and pulls her hand from her fiancé, flashing a big, shiny ring for the guests to see. Your face drops as an excited shock washes through the room of Noah’s family’s luxurious farmhouse that they’ve had since forever. The high ceilings echo the eruption of cheering and clapping with the sound of glasses tinkling together in toast. You raise yours and smile, your feet rooted against the floor.

Your best friends. You look at them fawning over the ring, the smiling couple surrounded by their closest friends.  

“Finally, everyone knows!”

“Now we don’t have to hide it any longer!” Eileen and Mary laugh. Your smile doesn’t falter, it doesn’t even flinch. But it’s like a cold shower that runs down from the back of your neck to the bottom of your spine. Abigail’s eyes flash to you after the women have said the words out loud.

You used to be a part of that group of best friends. In the last couple of years they’ve turned into people you sometimes hang out with. The frequent dinners and game nights at each other’s places first turned into occasions that happened once a month, then into once every six months when schedules and life got in the way.

First it was Mary, who announced she had reconnected with her high school sweetheart. Then it was Eileen who found her boyfriend through Mary’s boyfriend. For a while it was just you and Abigail, the two of you against the world. You were bridesmaids to Mary, then to Eileen, then Mary got pregnant and Eileen right after her. You and Abigail held the fort as the only single women in your group.

And then suddenly it was only you. Their lives are different now, as is yours. You’re not in your early twenties anymore, naively finding your way in this world. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve chosen the right place for you, but you’ve also understood that you might not want the future with the house and a picket fence, a husband and kids and the pictures on a mantelpiece. Your best friends want that while you’ve chosen another path.

Then, before you can delve too deep into other existential questions, you remember a cake order that has to be filled next week or how you have to make one more batch of the new malted wheat sourdough bread because your customers are emptying your shelves before 8 am.

“So, what do you think?” Abigail catches up to you after you’ve congratulated the pair. She reaches her  left hand towards you and wiggles her hand.

You hold her fingers and twist them gently. The rock sparkles in the champagne hued light of the farmhouse. “It’s beautiful,” you smile.

“Noah chose it himself, with the help from my mom. I can’t believe he managed to do all that and I had no idea!” Abigail sighs and pulls her hand back to marvel at the jewel around her ring finger.

You sip from your drink, the alcohol almost a welcomed friend in the full house. The atmosphere is electric from the unexpected news. The music is turned even louder than it already was. The New Year is only a few hours away and you don’t see the party dying down anytime soon.

A little quiet wouldn’t do you any harm, especially as someone keeps bumping against your back, and pushes you to give them more room.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something.” Abigail pulls you to the side, somehow managing to find a corner that isn’t occupied.

“I’d love to ask you a favor.” You’ve always been impressed by her ability to make her eyes so innocently big, pleading in a way that is caring and can make even the coldest person believe whatever she says is their own idea.

Abigail lifts her hands to your forearms and squeezes with a smile that reminds you of a child you saw at your shop yesterday after he had seen the experimental chocolate and peanut cupcakes you had made. After seeing his face, you might bring them back when you have an overstock of the ingredients, just to see that same kind of enthusiasm again.

“Remember that cake you baked for my 27th birthday?” Abigail asks. She doesn’t have to remind you. It was an elaborate white chocolate vanilla cake with raspberry compote filling. You topped it with handmade chocolate decorations that you created after work, the hours stretching closer to 20 spent in your bakery that day. Your back ached and you were stressed because you wanted the cake to be perfect. It was all worth it.

You nod. “I’d love it if you could make our wedding cake. We’ll of course pay, unless…” Abigail smiles with her lips tightly shut, the apples of her cheeks glowing.

“Unless you want me to give you a wedding cake as a wedding gift?” You fill in for her, the idea cracking your smile.

“Yes! Oh my God, it would be perfect! I’d be so incredibly lucky to have your creation at our wedding. It would be so special!” She grabs at you and pulls you into a tight hug that crackles against your tight shoulder where the muscle has been burning for the past week.

“I think we could make it work.” You swallow, defeated by your inability to say no to Abigail. One wedding cake. It’ll only be one wedding cake, among the other wedding cake orders that flow in during the busiest season of people tying the knot.

“I also have one other thing in mind.” You immediately prepare mentally for whatever she’s going to ask from you next.

“At my wedding, I’d love for you to bring a plus one.” Your mind goes blank.

“What?”

“The wedding is still six months away, so you have plenty of time. I just don’t want to see you alone there!” Abigail laughs and rubs at your arms. It has been a while since you wore anything else than your comfy clothes at home or your work uniform that consists of soft cotton T-shirts all in creamy white, tucked in your jeans and under an apron. Your friend running her hands up and down against the fabric on your arms, the blouse is suddenly coarse and too hot.

“I don’t have time for dating,” you remind her.

“You never have time for dating! I think that’s not true, you’re just afraid of finding someone and falling in love. That’s okay,” Abigail’s tone is encouraging, but her words sting. She’s not wrong. Of course you’re scared, you’ve never really dated anyone. The only dates you’ve been to were either pity dates set up by your high school friends or a few failed first meetings with guys who had been your customers at the bakery and who now only visit when they have to get something special for their girlfriends and wives.

“Fear not, you’re meeting someone tonight,” your friend’s eyes glimmer mischievously.

“What?” You hiss immediately.

“Noah has a friend who’s single. We think you’ll like him a lot.” Each of Abigail’s words is emphasized by a nod of her head or a poor attempt at a wink.

“We?”

“Eileen, me and Mary of course, silly,” she whacks at your arm playfully. Her cheeks blush while your stomach is heavy with dread.

“I really don’t think it’s a great idea. Also, I don’t need a date, it’s a wedding, it’ll be fun no matter if I have a date or not.”

“Bullsh–,” Abigail shushes herself and makes sure no one heard her. Her eyes soften to the level of pity. “It’s okay for you to find someone special, we all have. You’ll love it when someone takes care of you and pampers you and you won’t have to be alone anymore. You want to get married, you want a family! You’ve said it yourself, remember?” She laughs and tilts her head.

“Yeah!” You hope she doesn’t hear the doubt in your voice.

“We’re making sure you’re not going to end up alone.”

“What do you have in mind then?” Abigail turns immediately from you and leaves you standing next to the huge Christmas tree still fully decked and deeply green. You see her long, blonde hair swinging as she makes her way through the crowd. The curls at the ends are perfect. You smile at an older couple and wish them a happy New Near under your breath as they pass you by, a suspicious look in their eye while you try to keep track of Abigail.

You don’t have to wait for long. You see her first, then a tall man in a crisp white button down shirt behind her. He eyes you up and down immediately, his eyes blue and hard. You can’t read the look he’s giving you, but it’s not pleasant. He makes you nervous.

“Here’s John,” Abigail announces with a smile, and a hand that she waves down from his shoulder to midriff. You’re cornered between Abigail, John and the Christmas tree. The man nods his head and keeps his eyes locked on you while you notice the drink in his hand, a glass too gentle to be held in a death grip like his.

“Noah always calls him Johnny,” She proudly pats him on the shoulder and pushes John closer to you. The wall bumps against your back.

“He doesn’t,” John argues. His face twists in confusion, while his words are drowned by Abigail’s enthusiasm.

“Noah always tells good stories about John, how they’ve known for years, and how reliable he is. And you’re both into…” Abigail smiles, her eyes a little empty. She looks at you and massages John’s shoulder with her bejeweled hand. The engagement ring sparkles in the soft lighting of the family home. “You’re both into business! You’re entrepreneurs! I think you might have interesting conversations in the horizon,” Abigail chirps and finishes the last note with a smile that reveals her perfectly white teeth. Something catches her attention. Her eyes get larger, and her cheeks burn bright red. Noah stands close by with some of his friends, deep in conversation.

“Oh, excuse me, I have somewhere to be,” she points somewhere towards the crowd of people and disappears into it with a wave of her hand, in the opposite direction from Noah.

You stand awkwardly next to just as awkward John. He smells like aftershave from 30 years ago. It’s not completely unpleasant, only something you can imagine he got as a regifted present on Christmas. It’s warm, a little spicy, and a little too musty. He might like it, or then he wore it to keep unpleasant people away. You sip at your drink and try to take a step back without John noticing. The wall is in your way.

“We should sit down,” he tells you. You stare at his back when he leaves you standing alone, and only turns around to check if you’re following when he has found a couch end for you both to sit on.

He sits on the sofa with his legs spread wide. His face is smug, borderline conceited, when you make space for yourself next to him. How did Abigail, Mary and Eileen ever think you’d be into this guy? You try to relax, sip on your drink and smile at John. He smiles back. Maybe he’s not as bad as you’re making him out to be in your head. You don’t know him. Maybe your friends have a valid reason to believe you two could hit it off.

John pushes his leg against yours, seeking physical contact. You pull back from him immediately and lock your inner thighs together to keep yourself as small as you can. Your jeans aren’t tight but the way you’re sitting makes them dig into your skin.

“So…” John begins and drinks from his glass.

“So…” You repeat awkwardly, waiting for his next move.

“You want to hear how much money I make? I know women like to hear that. You don’t seem like an exception.” Your smile tightens, it’s a mask. The contents of your glass would be perfect on this guy, maybe he’s even begging for it.

“Like Abigail said, I’m an entrepreneur…” he talks in a monotone voice, reading off an invisible script. You don’t really even care if the mask on your face slips, not when John drones on and on about his savings, his investments and how he wants a stay-at-home wife to take care of the kids and home  while he’s working.

“My business will become massive in the next ten years. Yes, I plan ten years in advance. I recommend it to everyone who…” you drown John’s voice into the different voices around you. He’s like the perfect candidate for people watching.

Abigail and Noah’s parents are standing in one corner of the room, with lighthearted looks on their faces. Noah’s brother is leaning against a wall, looking bored as ever as he snacks on something from the snack table. Mary and Eileen are swaying to the music, pointing out different people from the party goers.

Abigail is with a man who you don’t know. She has her hand on his bicep, then she lifts it to his shoulder. Up and down she moves it, while trying to step closer to him. The man in a dark blue button up, his hair combed to the back with a few fly aways sticking out on his temple, a well-groomed mustache moves over his top lip, knows when to take a step back and shake her hand off him without seeming rude. Is she drunk? Abigail straightens the man’s collar. Her hand lingers on it, her fingertips touch his neck before she pulls her hand back.  

You’ve seen the man before. You’ve caught him staring at the pastries and bread in the bakery window a few times but he hasn’t come in.

“… You do for work?” The question is already fading. John’s tone is cool, almost as uninterested as you are. The distant look in his eyes isn’t helping to get you more invested in his monologue.

“I have my own business.” You answer, even to you in a too formal tone.

“Oh, what kind?” John leans forward, a spark of interest on his face.

“I have a bakery downtown.”

“Ah.” John scratches the back of his neck and shakes his head. “That’s a risky business endeavor. Have you thought about something else when this one bites the dust?”

You grind your teeth together behind the smile that you try to keep even remotely kind looking. You have to get out of here. You spot Abigail mingling with the guests, now with Mary and Eileen, who all turn towards you. Abigail draws a heart in the air with her index fingers and points to John. Miserably you turn back to him, who is still talking about different options for you.

“You could sell your business, cut your losses before they’re too overwhelming for you to handle.” Mary’s thumbs up don’t cover the murderous snarl you give them, your mouth twisted when you shake your head “no”. They’re back on the move, finding a quieter spot while laughing. You can hear it over the steady buzzing of conversations.

John has moved on from your imaginary bankruptcy to talking about his newest investments.

“Who handles them for you”

“Hmm?”

“Your investments, who handles them for you?”

“I haven’t really looked into it.” The bottom off your glass stares back at you, the rest of the alcohol now going down your throat.

“You should! Having a fickle business like yours isn’t going to keep you afloat for too long. Especially in a place like this. I could give you some recommendations on how to maximize your profits.” Your skin crawls. How satisfying it would be to yell at this man to shut the fuck up.

You don’t. You see the people around you, your customers. They have their usual orders, some have something else on a specific day, and some stick to the same baked goods day after day. You know them by name. You remember the stories they’ve told you, how something you made was shared with a loved one and new memories were made. John doesn’t seem like a person who would understand the value of memories since they’re not monetary.

Your friends clearly don’t have any idea what kind of a man you’d want to be with. To be fair, neither do you. But John? Setting you up with someone who is as interesting as the worn-out, uncared-for leather of his shoes, at least you can say who isn’t your type.

Sitting next to him, his knee still bumping against you, making your skin itch, even when you try to keep distance to him, listening to him ramble on about investing and profits, your friends would be bored out of their minds in your place as well.  Maybe they haven’t spoken with John. Maybe they haven’t even met him before. Your fingers find your gold chain against your chest. Its dainty links run between your thumb and forefinger, the familiar trail soothing you.

“If you’re free tomorrow, I could give you some tips on finding–“

“Look, John,” you cut him off with the drop of your necklace back against your skin. “You’re… clearly knowledgeable about money, and someone might be very interested in hearing about all of this. But that’s not me.”

“What are you saying then?” He’s genuinely surprised.

“I don’t think we should explore anything further.” You let him down gently and give him an apologetic look.

“Okay,” he tilts his head with deep creases across his forehead. “I’m a bit surprised. There’s not many, if any, people paying any attention on you here. I’m a catch looking for someone to carry his children who will become the next president or congressman some day and you’re just a bakery keeper who clearly has let herself go. But whatever, I’ll respect your honesty.” He says it all with a smile on his face, the insult somehow meant to sound like a compliment. His brows rise and fall after every other word, like they’re part of the conversation too. You stare at him, your mind blank, your mouth with a life of its own.

“What a small man,” you say to him and stand up with a laugh. He says something more, but you don’t stay to listen. There’s nothing more you’d want in this moment than get away from this man and to refill your glass with the punch served here.

It splashes against the edges of your glass when you make your way to the balcony. You want to hide from the people inside the party. From John. He can think whatever he wants, you’re not fazed by his rudeness, by anyone’s rudeness for that matter. It doesn’t mean what he said didn’t hurt you.

The dusky balcony is the place to be, away from the golden lights, the music and people who apparently don’t even see you. An unreasonable fear rises from the back of your mind with an image of John chasing after you onto the balcony, telling you how great he is and how generous he is for even agreeing on a blind date with you. You’d need to understand how this night wouldn’t change his life, but it would still change yours.

There’s a lonely chair behind the corner, away from direct eyeline of the celebrations. There’s barely any light here, only a small lantern next to a flower arrangement on a small table next to the chair. You sit down and relax. The drink feels good, comforting, on your over stimulated nerves. Muffled music and people talking, laughing, puts a rift between you and whatever is happening inside.

There haven’t been many moments when you are truly alone and when you are, you usually invite it with open arms. What follows that alone time is usually a guest you rarely want to invite along. Being alone is almost easy, being lonely always chips away at your heart. At the belief that maybe there’s someone out there somewhere for you as well.

You’ve accomplished so much in the last few years. You can be proud of so many things you’ve made happen by yourself. At the same time, you have to admit that it has all happened because you’ve been ready to sacrifice something.

You go with the flow, but you’re looking in at your own life rather than living it. You’re waiting for something without knowing what that could be. Apathy follows the gentle buzz of the alcohol in your system. You breathe deep against the coolness of the night. At least your skin isn’t pouring sweat while wondering which turn you forgot to take at some point in life to find a missing, nameless puzzle piece.

A clink and a soft scratch of glass. You’re ready to tell John to leave you alone. Instead, your eyes meet the deepest of ambers, sitting on the other side of the little table next to you where the lantern and flowers have been arranged. Someone laughs inside in a way that reminds you of a breathless donkey.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry,” he says while pushing his glass further from the edge of the table, his voice deep, soft like a cloud.

“I didn’t know someone was here.” You’re ready to stand up, find another hiding place and leave this man alone.

“I should’ve said something.” You nod at his words, unsure of what to do. Maybe he wants to be left alone…

“You know the couple?” He asks, cutting your plans to leave short.  

“I’m friends with Abigail.” He smiles, acknowledges your words and presses his hand against his chest.

“I’m one of the groomsmen.” You smile a tentative smile back and hear the conversation between you two die down.

Even when you’re not talking, you find yourself glued to your seat. His presence is overwhelming. It draws you in, makes you nervous with curiosity. He’s looking out into the vast darkness facing the farmhouse, forcing the building to become a lighthouse in the quiet. Your left side, his side, is vibrating from his nearness. The little hairs on your arm stand up, reaching for him. There’s electricity in the air, zinging gently, a hum in your ear as you listen to it. Listen to him take a deep breath in and push it out with slow force.

He's the one Abigail spoke with earlier. The one with the mustache and dark blue button up. The one who you’ve seen stop in front of your bakery but never come in. The town gossip train would help you recognize who he is, but you’ve tuned that station off.

You hear about some things regardless, while some other things aren’t for your ears, you’ve decided. Maybe that decision would be different if you had grown up in a small town like this, your life filled with people knowing what is happening in other people’s lives.

“Do you mind?” His question is hushed. There’s a cigarette between his fingers, and a question in the quirk of his brow. You shake your head and watch him pull out a lighter. It flickers a golden glow against his face when he has the cigarette hanging between his lips. The embers light up and then go to rest when he takes a drag, the smoke in his lungs until he breathes it out slowly. The cloud hangs in the air and drifts towards you. You inhale the rich aroma mixed with burning sweetness.

“I’m quitting in the New Year,” he tilts his head towards you, his eyes like black embers fixated on you through his lashes, in the lowlight of the candle and whatever light streams from the window.

“And this is your last one?” Your voice tunes itself to the quiet smokiness of his tone without you trying.

“Last, or second to last, I haven’t decided yet.” He rolls the butt against his fingers and flicks it. The burning flecks distinguish in the air. There’s loud cheering inside, rattling against the calm atmosphere outside.

The man looks inside, his focus on the noise as well. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“Abigail had set me up with Noah’s godawful friend, I had to take a break. Apparently, I need a plus one for the wedding.”

“With who?” Another drag from the cigarette.

“John?” He nods at your answer, and blows out the smoke to the opposite direction from you.

“They’re not close, not really even friends,” the man muses and turns his eyes on you.

Like an electric shock, you have to turn away from him and stare out towards the dark. This man is intense, demanding in a gentle way, his attention on you and only you. He’s not filling a silence with useless noise, but with observing. You run your necklace between your fingers again, twist it around one and draw a line against your skin over and over.

“I think she just wanted me to find someone.” Wish that someone wasn’t a self-important dickhead.

“The wedding isn’t in months.”

“My friends know I need time to think, and to take it slow.” The man inhales from his cigarette again and raises his brows in what could only mean silent disbelief.

“What?”

“Just wondering why Abigail wanted to set you up with an asshole like John, everyone knows he’s a player.” His words pour on you like ice. The more you repeat the last part in your head, the more convinced you are it wasn’t a serious setup, but a foolish prank.

Maybe listening to the grapevine would’ve been a good thing at least once. You take a big sip of your drink and let it burn in your throat as you swallow it down slowly.

There’s more cheering and clapping coming from inside, pulling you to look in at the party as well. Abigail is standing in front of the guests, Mary and Eileen next to her. Abigail has a pouch in her hand, where Eileen is digging something from.

“And why aren’t you apart of that?” The man’s low voice rumbles slowly against your eardrums.

Mary and Eileen open something in their hands, small pieces of paper, and show them to the other guests. People, mostly women, erupt into gleeful joy. Bridesmaid and maid of honor. “I don’t know.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“Why aren’t you in there celebrating?” You turn the question to him with a determined smile tugging against your cheeks. You should’ve known you won’t be part of the wedding party, it shouldn’t be a surprise. It shouldn’t hurt. You cover it with the smile and hope it will ease the sting.

The man notices your attempt at directing the focus away from yourself. He takes one last drag and then stubs the cigarette against an ashtray on the floor. He blows the smoke from his lungs and manages to turn more towards you.

He spreads his legs in the rickety garden chair, but his point isn’t to establish dominance like John, but to slide down and relax in the too small chair in his snuggly fitting dark jeans.

“I had to take a break,” he repeats your answer back to you. From his mouth it’s vague, words that hold some other meaning that he’s debating sharing with you. “Abigail is busy playing matchmaker in there.” He tilts his head to lean his temple against his fingers, his elbow perfectly perched on the arm of the chair.

Him facing you, his chin lifted, the amber of his eyes flickering in the candlelight, draws heat to the surface of your skin. Your chest, the back of your neck, your cheeks. It’s annoying that this stranger can cause a reaction like it.

You want to defy it and push back. You face him as well, stare him right in the eyes. Lava splashes on you from your head to your toes. Your palms sweat and you swallow, still with a calm smile on your face. It has become your safety blanket that you can hide behind. No matter if it’s a true kindness or you’re killing someone with it, the smile is familiar to you now.

“She found someone for you as well?”

“She suggested it, but I turned her down.”

“And that’s why you had to take a break?”

“No, it was because of the other guests.” He looks away. A small victory you didn’t think you’d get. His answer stirs the win into confusion.

“Why?” A question you have no right to ask, out of your mouth before you even consider asking it.

He lifts his eyes back to you, the look in them warm but laced with a warning. It’s not your place to know. It’s a question too complicated in its simplicity, the answer even simpler, yet more complicated.

Two can play this game. Who hides better behind a mask? Who stays calm when someone tries to crawl under the other’s skin? He’s a master at it, catching you off guard, letting you think you had won him in the game he has perfected over the years.

You’re knocked off the number one spot and he figures it out immediately, when your smile cracks and you have to hide behind the excuse of taking a sip from your glass. There’s only a little left, one more mouthful and you’re done. You don’t want to see his victory, but you also don’t want to seem scared.

The look on his face isn’t victory. Instead, you’re met with a man who is deep in thought. His brows are lightly pulled together, defining the two small lines between them. His eyes are veiled, only a slight shine from the candle still reaching them. Yes, he won.

“Well, I think it’s my time to go.” He snaps out of his thoughts. The watch on his wrist flashes with the reflection of light hitting the glass face.

“It’s not even midnight yet.” He sounds almost alarmed.

You circle the drink in your glass a couple of times and see his glass on the table. You stand up, lean over the table and smile more to the empty glass than to him. “Happy New Year,” you say out loud and clink your glasses together. The sweet and sour taste is soothing and if you were alone, you probably would drink a few more to ring in the special evening.

“I’ll see you around,” you tell the man who follows your every move. He watches your hand as you place your glass next to his. He watches you wipe at the backside of your jeans to make sure there’s no dust on them from the chair. His eyes are burning against your back as you leave him sitting on the old, weathered chair.

Someone opens the door to the balcony and sticks their head out. Noah.

“Hey, have you seen Javi?” his voice is a little hoarse, joy on the corners of his eyes.

“Who?”

“Javier, dark shirt, jeans, brown hair…” the man’s presence appears on your back, lifting all the hairs of your skin again, heat coursing through you.

“I’m here,” his voice is like the stickiest and sweetest honey. It’s also much closer than you anticipated. You look over your shoulder. Javier is right behind you, his chest almost against your back. Noah’s face lights up, clearly pleased he found his friend.

“Is Abigail somewhere? I’m going to be heading out, I just want to congratulate her once more.” Javier stands still and manages to shake your voice only by being close to you.

“But it’s not even midnight yet, you should stay a bit longer,” Noah pleads, a relaxed slurring in his speech.

“I think I’m done for the night, just too tired to keep on partying. Thank you for inviting me and congratulations once more.” You hug Noah, genuinely happy for him. His tan skin glows with pure excitement.

“Can you believe her, leaving before midnight on New Year’s Eve.” Noah points his thumb at you, the jokey question directed at Javier.

“I know, almost like tonight doesn’t change anything.” His sarcasm makes you snort, and Noah fake a laugh.

“Abi is downstairs. Thanks for coming, and thank you for the gift,” he winks at you, the promised wedding cake now apparently confirmed.

Abigail entertains some older people, talking with them, sharing moments from how she met Noah and how he proposed. You barely get a word in and her answer to you leaving is: “Okay, I’ll call you.” before she’s back to talking with the people who have made her their center of attention.

Luckily Mrs. Sánchez is on her way out with her husband, taking you to town. You have one neighbor, living in the apartment on the other side of the corridor from you on top of the carpenter shop. You’ve met him plenty of times since you moved in six years ago, but you can’t for the life of you remember his name.

You’re already sleeping, groggy and confused when you hear your neighbor counting down from 10 with his guests, the cheering overwhelming even through your wall. Auld Lang Syne starts to play, and you lay in bed, staring at the blank surface of your ceiling. Not even the streetlights can light your apartment enough.

Maybe this year you’ll push yourself to enjoy your life rather than watch it pass you by. You make the resolution before you fall back asleep, barely remembering it the next morning.

Time ticks on even after midnight and the days after don’t create a limbo effect anymore when you go to work. It’s darkest when you wake up at 3.15 and head to the bakery thirty minutes later. The morning rises as you’re tipping proofed loafs from their baskets onto the floured wooden table for scoring. You’re trying a new leaf design, lashing the surface with a sharp blade that glides against the dough like butter.

When you’ve pushed the loaves into the oven you take the next trolley of bread from the walk-in fridge and under the zippered hoods you uncover what you made yesterday in preparation for today, buttery wheat loaves in their neat little rectangle pans. One trolley after the other you solve the walk-in fridge puzzle, pulling out hooded trolleys. Yellow hoods for sweet products, blue for savory.

“Morning!” Lili, your bakery assistant, greets as she walks in from the small locker room. Unlike you, who stayed up too late writing down ideas for Abigail and Noah’s wedding cake, her under eyes are bright and her voice clear after a well-rested night.

“Good morning,” you croak and clear your throat right after. Your shoulder complains as you fill in the vanilla tartlets, row after row of neat custardy pies waiting for a couple of slices of syrupy lemons Lili has prepared for them.

As the shop fills with the fresh loaves, rolls and biscuits, the last sweet things are baking in the ovens, filling the bakery and shop with a sugary, toasty smell. Butter, nuts, fruits, spices and chocolate, are like a dessert after the early morning savory baking.

You’re filling cream puffs when the doors open and the first customer walks in. You have the bakery door open but can’t see the shop from your sturdy work table. You can only listen to the sounds that indicate your work paying off.

The bell above the door tinkles constantly, people walking in and out with fresh goods in paper bags and bakery carton boxes, careful not to shake or mush anything that is even a little more fragile than the thick crusted breads.

Lili’s enthusiastic voice answers questions with a constant smile. “Yes, these have a hazelnut and chocolate filling.” “There is ginger and clove in the cookie dough.” “It’s the freshest today, but you can use the rest for bread pudding or French toast in the next few days.” “Sadly, that was our December limited edition cupcake, but we’re planning something for Easter.”

If she’s not answering questions, then she’s taking down orders and repeating every detail to get everything right. The free spots in your calendar for orders are filling out fast. You’re counting each one in your head after Lili repeats them, checking off the orders list you remember by heart. Someone asks for a wedding cake order for July, one already taken by Abigail and Noah.

“Mr. Peña is here,” Lili sticks her head into the bakery, pulling you from weighing ingredients for sticky cinnamon rolls. It’s eleven in the morning, you’re about thirty minutes early from your work schedule. The radio in the corner plays an older song softly, the words flowing from your mouth in a quiet hum. You wash your hands and check your face, wiping the remaining moisture from your temples as the ovens are finally cooling down. You take the small bakery box full of pistachio cream puffs from the fridge and take it to the register.

Seeing the shop full is always overwhelming, almost intimidating, especially when most look at you as they see you walking out of the bakery.

“Morning everyone,” you greet with easiness, the words wiping away your nerves. Mr. Peña is third in line, standing with someone who is looking at the small packets of chocolate confections that were leftover from your New Year’s specials.

You take one of the raisin and cashew loafs from the shelf and push it into a brown paper bag, and wheat knot rolls into another bag.

“Mr. Peña, what can I get for you?” Lili asks, her voice a little higher and squeakier than normal.

“Those ham and cheese muffins are looking fine today,” his voice rumbles. You smile to yourself as you pack a few lemon and poppyseed cookies into a box.

“¿Quieres algo dulce?” He asks his companion just as you turn with all the baked goods in your arms. You lay them on the table next to the register, Lili taping the muffin box closed and getting to work typing the prices as zero dollars.

“What’s this?” Mr. Peña asks under his brown, wide brimmed cowboy hat.

“You gave me the tip about Arnold’s shop, and he came to fix the oven right before New Year’s. It’s as good as new now. He also checked the other one, to see if it has the same problem with the wiring. This is the least I can give you as a thank you.” If you had ordered someone to come in from further, you would’ve paid a pretty penny for a simple fix that was done in fifteen minutes. You couldn’t be more grateful for Mr. Peña suggesting someone who he trusts.

“That was nothing, Sam is an old friend, he would miss his own funeral just to fix appliances,” he laughs and gives room for his companion to step next to him. Javier’s eyes bore into yours, a soft smile in them. He lays the little confection box on the table next to the breads and sweets.

“This is my son, Javier.” He pushes his aviator sunglasses into the neckline of his pink button up t-shirt.

“We met at Noah’s party a few days ago,” Javier says, making you nod along with his words.

“Oh! Well, then you need to know this little lady makes the best cream puffs in town,” Mr. Peña directs his attention to you. The smile lines get deep right by his eyes when the corners of his mouth turn up.

Javier hums in recognition, patiently watching you try to gather your thoughts. The two men look the same as they stand next to each other, the generation the only thing setting them apart. Javier seems to tower over his dad, his back straight and his shoulders wider with age pressing them forward for his dad.

“That’s a bit over exaggerated isn’t it, since there’s no other bakeries in town,” you turn the compliment into a joke, and your focus back to Javier’s dad to get yourself to calm down. Javier’s presence makes perspiration prickle at the small of your back.

“That’s why I said the best in town,” Mr. Peña jokes back.

“Exactly!” The shared laugh eases your discomfort. Why Javier makes you nervous, you haven’t decided yet.

“So, how much do I have to pay for these?”

“Nothing. Like I said, it’s the least I can do to thank you.”

“No, of course I pay, this is too much.”

“Mr. Peña, you helped me when you didn’t have to. These are on the house.” The people behind Javier and his dad are starting to get curious about what you’re giving away for free.

“Please, call me Chucho, I come here often enough for us to be in first name basis. And I already know your name, have known it longer than you’ve known there is a ‘Mister Peña’,” he tries to mimic your voice but only makes it sound like a mockery of you. He mumbles “sorry,” under his breath, all forgiven with a smile you give him back.

“What about these?” Lili asks with a quieter voice, the confections in her hand.

“I’ll pay for those,”

“And that’s Javier, you can call him by his first name as well.” His dad says pointedly. In a way he reminds you of your grandpa and how warmly he too always spoke even when to teach you about something more serious, like how to ask nicely, or when you needed help with your homework, and he checked where you had gone wrong.  

“Chucho,” you nod your head towards him, “Javier,” you say his name and it tickles against your tongue. The other side of his mouth rises.

“Javier will pay for the candy, and I want a couple of those lemon things over there,” Chucho points in the display. The vanilla tartlets you worked on just a couple of hours earlier.

“Yo los pago, papá,” Javier mutters when you pick up a carton and fold it into a box, placing two tartlets into it. Lili is already ringing him up when you place the box next to her.

“Have you changed the products?” Chucho asks, looking at the display more carefully.

“There are a couple new things, like these blueberry swirl cupcakes and these hazelnut cookies.” You point them out for him and notice Javier checking out the items as well. “Don’t worry, I’m not taking out the favorites,” you nod towards the pistachio cream puffs that have become Chucho’s regular order. He winks at you, like a secret has been exchanged between you two. Lili packs all the goods into a paper bag and hands it over to Javier.

“Thank you,” Chucho tips his hat and drops money into the tip jar.

“Thank you,” Lili yells after checking how much he gave. You greet the next customers while leaving to go back to work, watching the pair as they walk out the door and to Chucho’s truck.

As the day goes on, the bell above the door tinkles less. The noises from people talking quiets down and Lili’s answers and order taking slows until there’s no more questions or orders to be made.

“Only a couple of cupcakes, cookies, and rolls left,” she informs as she joins you to help with dough mixing and making products for the next day. You work like a well-oiled machine that has been in use for a hundred years. You turn the radio a little louder and the both of you sing along to songs that you both know either from your childhoods or ones that have been playing nonstop since they came out in the last year.

“Can you make the puff pastry, I’ll make inventory and clean up the front.” You massage your shoulder, the pain burning under your shoulder blade.

The day is warm, warmer than usual, people wearing shorter sleeved shirts as they pass the shop. The air is humid, yet still dust settles on surfaces. You write in your notebook all the products sold, keeping note of the ones that have leftovers, before packing them in discount packets to get them sold before closing.

The industrial dishwasher rumbles on the other side of the wall as you’re wiping down the display cases. The door opens and the bell jingles, followed by footsteps that stop at the door. You look over your shoulder, the pink shirt on Javier like an alarm for your system.

“Hi,” you straighten your back and finish cleaning the glass.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?” He takes his sunglasses off and hangs them off his shirt again.

“No, no, we’re still open. Did you forget something? Or maybe Mr. Peña wanted something more? I’m sorry we sold out everything you got, tomorrow I’ll be selling more again.” Javier breathes out a silent laugh listening to you ramble nervously, his eyes landing on the empty shelves.

“I’m sure he’d buy more if there was some left, and you can call him Chucho.” You bend your head down when his eyes meet yours. “That’s not why I’m here for.” He walks over to the register with you on the other side. He places his hand on the table, curiously taking in the empty shop.

“What can I get for you then?”

“Have you had any luck finding a date for the wedding?”

“Oh,” his question surprises you. “I haven’t even thought about that. I can guarantee it’s not going to be John. Why?” He nods, watching your lips as they move around the words. He presses his hand into a fist, opening his mouth once, then closing it, contemplating whatever he has on his mind.

“I was wondering…” He stops, his lashes dark against the tops of his cheeks as he has trouble looking at you in the eye. Until he does and forces you to swallow against the sandpaper in your mouth.

“Noah said something… And I remembered what you said about Abigail wanting you to have a date… Being single at a wedding can be…” The broken sentences raise your pulse. “What if we’d go to the wedding together?” Your pulse pauses for a second until it picks up like a storm.

“You make it sound like someone’s going to pair you up with someone more awful unless you do something about it first?” You’re surprised how even your voice sounds even though pins and needles run up and down your skin and your insides are in a turmoil.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it to come off that way.” Javier shakes his head fast, his eyes flashing to you in fear that you’d understand him wrong. “My old man has been eager to know if he needs to know a name before the wedding. It’s a hassle if I won’t deal with that in time.” He almost manages to calm the tempest. You join his chuckling, imagining Chucho pressing his son about finding a plus one for a wedding where his friends are already paired off.

“Look,” you begin, forcing yourself to calm down and think clearly. “It’s a nice offer, but I’m not looking for anything, I don’t have time for it. Abigail setting me up at the party was weird and I’m not concerned about finding a date. I honestly don’t care what people say or think. She just wants me to have someone and not end up alone when she’s busy having brunches and dinners with her married friends.” Javier’s eyes narrow the longer you speak, your last words like icing on a cake for someone who observes as closely as Javier does. You realize how you make yourself sound pathetic and Abigail like an asshole immediately after.

“I’m not looking for anything either, I was thinking it more as an arrangement of sorts.”

“An arrangement?”

“Yeah. I have a lot of groomsmen, ah…” he looks for the words, “whatever wedding things coming up and I know I’ll be put between a rock and a hard place unless I have a date. We could go together, avoid the awkward blind dates and we’d let people know we’re each other’s dates.” What he means with him being between two undesirable options confuses you, but the possibility of Abigail setting you up with someone like John again is high enough for you to get interested in Javier’s suggestion.

“So, you mean we’d fake dating each other?”

He’s unblinking for a moment, until he inhales and pushes the breath out with a “I guess so.”

“Sounds like you’ve read too many romance books.” The lighthearted joke makes him laugh. “Don’t you think it’d be awkward?”

“If we’re okay with it, no, I don’t think so. We could get to know the basics of each other and that would be it. You don’t have to spend your time with me any more than you have to.” He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and places it on the table. “Think about it.” He pushes the paper towards you. You take it, and it’s still warm. He has written his number on it neatly, Javier with a swoopy J on top.

A couple walks in. The bell startles you both. Javier steps back and takes his sunglasses from his shirt.

“Let me know, okay?” He raises his brows in question, and you answer with a nod. The couple beelines for the leftovers, talking in hushed tones, while the bell dings and Javier leaves without a second look back.

“I knew we should’ve come sooner,” the woman hisses and huffs.

“We’re open tomorrow, if you’re looking for something specific,” you try to get back into the moment, but end up following Javier push his sunglasses up his nose and jog across the street to his truck before a car crawls past.

Never would you have thought a piece of paper could be heavy but here you are, aware of its existence in your jeans pocket under your apron. The offer is appealing, you can’t deny that. The thought of having someone steady by your side, people not asking if you have a date, mainly Abigail, and not needing to think about the whole date thing, would be a weight off your shoulders. You could focus on the more pressing matters.

The couple buys the bread rolls, one more tick for you to write into your notebook. You finish preparing everything with Lili and when you turn the lights off a the end of the day, your brain is fried from thinking what to do with Javier’s suggestion.

The hot shower at home is heaven against your shoulder, loosening the tense muscle. It doesn’t wash away Javier’s suggestion though. You dry yourself, and you wouldn’t have to think about a plus one anymore. You warm up leftovers from yesterday, and you wonder how you could relax around Javier who has the ability to get your thoughts and blood roiling. You sit on the couch and get hurt once more thinking about John and if it was all a joke for Abigail to set you up with him.

You dig the pockets of your jeans and find the paper, still folded in half, his handwriting against your fingertips.

“Peña,” you hear Chucho answer. His joyful laughter after you say who’s calling makes you smile as well.

“Don’t say you’re giving us more bread and pastries. I’ll pay for them the next time.” There’s rustling on his end before you have a chance to answer, Javier’s voice muttering something to his dad.

“Hello,” his voice is softer, less deep as his father’s yet still deep enough for you to have it rattle your spine.

“Hi.”

“Sorry, I got a new number a couple of weeks ago and I’m not used to using it yet, gave you the house number by accident.” If you knew him any better, you’d say Javier is nervous.

“That’s okay. I wanted to call and ask if you’re really up for it, fake dating?” he chuckles quietly, almost like he wouldn’t want to make his dad question why you’re calling his son in the evening.

“I’d still call it just an arrangement, but yeah. That’s why I asked you.” You grind your teeth together, nervous about what you’re getting yourself into.

“Okay, let’s do it then.”

[pedroshotwifey]

A Real Man Frankie Morales x plus size!fem!reader - Frankie has you sit on his face. (1.2k)

Fucking Mine Dave York x fem!reader - You help Dave get out some frustrations. (839)

One Condition Marcus Pike x fem!reader x Ezra (Prospect) - You and your partner, Marcus Pike, get stranded on an inhabited planet and run into problem after problem. You find yourselves in a compromising position that requires help from a strange man, who comes to you with one condition. (4.9k)

Cramped Innocent!Din Djarin x GN!reader - As you tried to explain, the two of you really don't fit in the cockpit. (927)

Bargian Javier Peña x male!reader - You and Javi play through one of your scandalous fantasies (2.1k)

Salty Sweet Javier Peña x fem!reader - Javi eats you out on your birthday---with a deliciously kinky twist (1.3k)

Better Ezra x f!reader - You join Ezra on his unscheduled break, not knowing you're in for the ride of your lifetime. (2k)

Good 'n' Deep Fat!Frankie Morales x f!reader - Fat Frankie can't be sated. (2.6k)

What Matters Older Joel Miller x f!reader - Your and Joel's first time together turns into so much more. (1.9k)

Needy Sub!Frankie Morales x dom!f!reader - Frankie gives you control for the night and you make sure he gets the most out of it. (1.6k)

Tease Sub!Dieter Bravo x sub!GN!reader x dom!Dave York - You and Dieter think it's fun to tease Dave, and Dave thinks he should teach you both a lesson for it. (2.4k)

Toeing the Line fwb!Marcus Pike x f!reader - Can you really just be "friends"? (740)

Stress Relief Pre-outbreak Joel Miller jacking off to some porn

Mini Skirt Javier Peña x fem!coworker!reader - You start thinking down on yourself---luckily, Javi's there to lift you back up. Nothing some praise and a good fuck in his office can't fix. (2.7k)

The Right Guy X-Men!Logan x f!reader - Logan tries too hard on a first date (mostly cute fluff with a smudge of angst kind of) (1.1k)

Song fic requests:

Haunted QZ!Joel Miller x afab!reader - Haunted by Beyonce

Taste Ex!Javi x reader - Taste by Sabrina Carpenter

Requested Drabbles

Want some help on what to request? Try one of these links! (Make sure to specify which prompt list you’re using or I will assume it’s prompt list 1 :)

Prompt list 1

Prompt list 2

Prompt list 3

Prompt list 4

I am also willing to write for JDM characters (love me some Negan 🤭) , Oscar Isaac characters, Cassian Andor, Hugh Jackman characters (Logan is my fav) and Rick Grimes! Feel free to suggest a different character and I’ll see what I can do! ❤️

Small letter about the requests (basically saying that this is a safe space for all of you to request whatever you'd like!)

[prolix-yuy]

Welcome to a fun little event where you get to ask for all sorts of filth! Spin the Wheel, Pick a Pedro Boy, and Get a Drabble! Bring your jammies, snuggle up in your sleeping bag, charge your favorite toys (just kidding) and come join me for some filthy fun with our favorite boys!

Bangathon requests are closed, thank you all for submitting your ideas!

Complete Bangathon Masterlist:

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x Marcus Pike, Kneeling Reach-Around

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, 69

Pero Tovar x F!Reader, Cowgirl

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x Plus Size F!Reader, 69

Max Phillips x F!Reader, Reverse Cowgirl

Ezra x F!Reader, Spooning

Pero Tovar x F!Reader, Missionary

Francisco "Catfish" Morales x F!Reader, Cowgirl

Din Djarin x F!Reader, 69

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Snuggled Spoon

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x F!Wife Reader, Mermaid

Marcus Pike x F!Reader, Kneeling Reach-Around

Oberyn Martell x OFC, Sit on the Throne

Ezra x F!Reader, Advanced Crab Walk

Joel Miller x F!Reader, Blowjob

Javier Peña x F!Reader, Honey Bear

Francisco "Catfish" Morales x F!Reader "Ms Jackson", Seated Oral

Oberyn Martell x OFC, Snuggled Spoon

Ezra x F!Reader, Missionary with a Pillow

Marcus Moreno x F!Reader, Spooning

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader "Murch", Sit on the Throne

Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader, Honey Bear

Joel Miller x F!Reader, Snuggled Spoon

Dieter Bravo x M!Reader, Kneeling Reach-Around

Javier Peña x F!Reader, Octopus

Din Djarin x F!Reader, Sit on the Throne

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Honey Bear

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Froggy Style

Ezra x F!Reader, Honey Bear

[softstarlite]

Here are some fics that I really love!! <3

(I add more when I remember others or read new ones)

I also invite you to check my masterlist and read my stuff <3

Divider by @saradika-graphics and banner by me

Narcos

Javier Peña

Learning to live by @wheresarizona (series)

Javier Peña x f!reader

The crush by @the-ginger-hedge-witch (series)

Javier Peña x OFC!Isabel

Deja vú by @ilovepedro (series)

Javier Peña x f!reader

Old habits die hard by @liltangerineart (series)

Javier Peña x latina f!reader

Take the weight off his shoulders by @thetriumphantpanda (series)

dbf!Javier Peña x f!reader

Late night texts by @undercoverpena (series)

Javier Peña x f!reader

Jealous of your love by @chloeangelic (one-shot)

Javier Peña x f!reader

Anytime by @undercoverpena (one-shot)

Javier Peña x f!reader

The Bubble

Dieter Bravo

Sweet Creature by @wildemaven (series)

Dieter Bravo x f!reader

I'll never fall in love again by @oonajaeadira (series)

Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Cherry by @sp00kymulderr (series)

Dieter Bravo x f!reader x f!OC

Triple Frontier

Benny Miller

Wild Love by @wildemaven (series)

Benny Miller x single mom!reader

Frankie Morales

Learning curves by @ezrasbirdie (series)

Frankie Morales x plus size f!reader

Hate me by @theewokingdead (one shot)

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Breaking free by @theewokingdead (one-shot)

Frankie Morales x plus size f!reader

Hungry by @criticallyacclaimedstranger (one-shot)

Frankie Morales x reader

Catalyst by @ezrasbirdie (series)

Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller

The book of love by @undercoverpena

Frankie Morales x f!reader (Bookshop AU)

Santiago Garcia

If you wanna be wild by @romanarose (series)

Santi Garcia x f!reader x Javier Peña

All triple frontier boys

Awakening by @romanarose (series) triple

Frontier boys x f!reader

The Last of Us

Joel Miller

To the rescue by @romanarose (one-shot)

Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Love me back by @chloeangelic (series)

Joel Miller x f!reader

Rendezvous by @chloeangelic (series)

dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Belong to me by @chloeangelic (series)

Line cook!Joel Miller x waitress reader

Reflection of the moon by @chloeangelic (series)

Joel Miller x f!reader

(I just really love how Chloe writes Joel)

I know it when I see it by @bageldaddy (series)

pornstar!joel miller x f!reader

Lacy by @toxic-seduction (one-shot)

Joel Miller x f!reader

I wanna show you off by @joelscurls (one-shot)

Joel Miller x f!reader

Breakout by @the-ginger-hedge-witch (series)

Boxer!Joel Miller x f!reader

Strawberry wine by @pedrito-friskito (series)

Joel Miller x f!OC

Your summer dream by @swiftispunk (series)

dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Dog Days by @pimosworld

Tommy Miller

Joel Miller x f!reader

Sweet Child O'Mine by @bageldaddy (series)

Joel Miller x f!reader

Wrong place, right time by @proxima-writes (one-shot)

Tommy Miller x waitressf!reader

[osped]

JOSE PEDRO BALMACEDA PASCAL

HIS CHARACTERS

🌟 Good Morning, Bachelor Nation! 🌟 by @elvinaa

You have a big ass by @pedros-husband

How about 7 Pedros for a minute each? by @oonajaeadira

scary movie typa guy ; genre of movies pedro boys are into by @creedslove

Having Triplets: by @absurdthirst

PEDRO PASCAL

reader calls, telling him they had to go to the emergency room by @judysxnd

he hated the feeling or thought of reader ever leaving ; protective pedro ; blind date ; comforts him ; none of that really matters ; him just loving being a girl dad ; pedro x sick!reader ; whole pregnancy by @talaok (at this point I sould've just put her masterlist link here, lol)

it's not that kind of cold shower (pedro x gn/m!reader) ; 🎯MASTERLIST🎯pedro pascal x gn/m!reader by @pedge-stuff

PERO TOVAR

Pero Tovar and his Guerrera by @prolix-yuy

friend sets Pedro and (y/n) on a blind date by @talaok

take my hand - pero tovar x fem!reader by @pedrito-friskito

Temple of Love ; Grumpy Pumpkin by @sirowsky-stories

OBERYN MARTELL

Window Shopping by @the-dendrophile-bookdragon

Birfday - Oberyn by @writeforfandoms

MARCUS PIKE

I’m Here by @davnittbraes

Forgive These Bones I'm Hiding (Part 2 of 2) by @whataperfectwasteoftime

JAVIER PENA

I know that I shouldn't... but I love you. by @odetodilfs

Nᴏᴛ Iɴᴛᴏ Bᴏʏs (Jᴀᴠɪᴇʀ Pᴇñᴀ) by @obsessedwithpedritoofc

Crossroads (Javier Peña x AFAB!Reader) ; Narcos Masterlist by @ithebookhoarder 

wait, what? by @plentyoffandoms

Trick and Treat by @jobean12-blog

tolerate it [javi peña x gn!reader] by @mandoalorian

quickie at the party ; LA LLUVIA 🌧️ by @creedslove

JOEL MILLER

the sun will shine again by @foli-vora

loads of hickeys by @talaok

doing a million steps nightly skin care routine ; The Millers 💖 by @creedslove

Joel Miller Masterlist by @jobean12-blog

sated by @softlyspector

Feral Masterlist by @ohraicodoll

"a gentle hand" — joel miller by @louswrld11

All Good Things [a Joel x f!reader fic] by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

a sheep in wolf's clothing by @jupiter-soups

Halloween Special by @strang3lov3

I wanna show you off by @joelscurls

crying for the first time ever by @joels-shitty-puns

grumpy!husband!joel by @cruelfvkingsummer

JAVI GUTIERREZ

Skinny Dipping by @second-axis-point

Kinktober Day 13: Javi Gutiérrez w/overstimulation and bondage. by @odetodilfs

DIN DJARIN

In The Silence by @dindjarindiaries

D.D. - "Then we'll find out together." by @missredherring

Uncut by @beskarandblasters

the cantina by @spctrsgf

trying boba tea for the first time by @toxic-seduction

50. Nothing is wrong with you. 55. I’m not going anywhere. ; Soft!Din by @ezrasbirdie

Familiar & Unfamiliar by @theidiotwhowritesthings

DIETER BRAVO

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #10: Dieter Bravo - A Kiss While Baking by @something-tofightfor

DAVE YORK

Surrogate Love {Dave York x F!Reader} by @absurdthirst

FRANKIE MORALES

Broken by @musings-of-a-rose

sweet treat (frankie morales x f!plus-size!reader) by @mrsmando

Kɪʟʟ ғᴏʀ Yᴏᴜ (Fʀᴀɴᴋɪᴇ Mᴏʀᴀʟᴇs) by @obsessedwithpedritoofc

Telltale Heart by @astroboots

fading ; something new [plus size fem reader] by @ezrasbirdie

MARCUS PIKE

pretending to be him ; RE-ENCOUNTER 🎨 by @creedslove

used by you by @foli-vora 

SILVA

Tʜᴇ Oᴛʜᴇʀ Mᴀɴ (Sɪʟᴠᴀ) by @obsessedwithpedritoofc

PS : I reblog all this amazing fanfic on my other tumblr account on @uwiuwi. I just like to reread, but it got me so stressfull when my main blog so full with reblogs, so I make this masterlist for my future self. I hope none of the authors of the fanfics I put in here mad. Sorry and Thank you for your hardwork guys.

[joels-shitty-puns]

A's Fic Masterlist

❤️ Thanks for reading

Pedro Pascal:

The Key to Your Heart 🎹🎙️ - Series(10/?)

Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader ❤️❤️‍🩹 (AFAB,fem,plus-sized,inexperienced)

Melt With You (requested) ☀️❄️

Pedro Pascal x Reader ❤️

(fem reader)

Joel Miller (The Last of Us):

The Snacks of Us ⛽🦫

No-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader ❤️

(fem reader)

Cookies 'n Scream (requested) 🍪🎃

Joel Miller x Plus-Sized!Reader 🔥❤️ (AFAB, fem)

The Jealousy Bug (requested) 🪲🍄

Jealous!Joel Miller x Reader 🔥 (AFAB, Jackson-era, fem)

Pins and Needles (requested) 🪡🧟‍♂️ - Series (6/6)

Post-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader ❤️❤️‍🩹🔥

(fem reader)

Dieter Bravo(The Bubble):

Kings & Queens 🛏️🛍️

Post-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader❤️

Jingle My Bells 🎄🎁

Dieter Bravo x Reader 🔥

(AFAB, fem)

Javier Peña (Narcos):

Javing Feelings 👖👀

Javi Peña x Inexperienced!Reader 🔥 (AFAB, fem)

~~~~~~~~~~

Emoji Key:

❤️ = Fluff

🔥 = Smut

❤️‍🩹 = Angst

[metalnecklace]

Tanlines

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Words: 4402

Warnings: Smut (mdni), Plus size reader, Use of y/n, Daddy Kink (I’m so sorry, I’m ovulating and this got away from me), Unsafe sex (p in v, wrap it up, folks), Finishing inside, Oral (f/m receiving), Spit play, like, lots of it (again, I’m so sorry), Assplay, Tit/Nipple play, Titty fucking, Reader is described as having a larger chest size, Kinda same with ass (She is plus sized after all), Begging, Praise, Marking/Hickies, A bit of fluff at the end, Javi isn’t an ass or tits man, he’s an everything man change my mind, Slight mention of heaven/religious beliefs (not sure if this is a warning but just in case).

Notes: I don’t know what happened, but this is all filth. Thank you for being so patient for this! To be read directly after Sunburn. I tried to make this as non-descriptive as possible in terms of skin colour. She’s tan now, but has visible tan lines. If there are any issues with descriptions or inclusivity please let me know, and this goes for all my fics.

Summary: Javi can finally make up for some lost time.

Masterlist

Sunburn

Yeah. They were embarrassing as hell.

The stark contrast of crisp skin next to skin that hadn’t been touched by the sun was absolutely embarrassing.

And Javi fucking loved it.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned while pulling the straps of my tank top off my shoulders. “Look at you.”

It had been a few weeks of pain, peeling, and pouting. All I wanted was for Javi to touch me, but I had to wait for my skin to fully heal. Then when it started peeling I was just too grossed out to let him touch me too much. By the end of it we were both so desperate for each other.

I had been out in the garden for the day while he was helping his father. When it was finally supper time he practically ran home. I had to push him into the shower after he saw my tan skin on display. I had already showered which caused him to wear an adorable pout the entire time.

We ate together with his hand glued to my thigh. We were usually very relaxed and wore just a shirt and our underwear when it was just us around the house, but it didn’t help me hide the arousal that stirred between my thighs. When we finished he instructed me to go sit on the bed while he did the dishes.

I was nearly vibrating by the time he finally walked into the room, a look on his face that could only be described as a hunter stalking his prey. I was glued to the spot on the bed, perched there waiting for when he would finally decide to strike.

When he made his way over and placed his lips on mine he kissed me with a fire that made me feel like my skin was burning again. I moaned into the kiss as his tongue swiped across my lower lip, pulling it between his teeth. One of his hands cradled my face while the other buried itself into my hair. He finally pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

“I need you, (Y/N).” His breath fanned across my lips. “So very much.”

“I’m all yours, Javi,” I said.

I could feel him smiling. “Good girl.”

He helped me stand up and brushed my hair back behind my shoulders. My tan lines were revealed, inch by inch, while he slid my straps down my shoulders. I hadn’t worn a bra since I had been settling in for the night, and when he pulled the fabric of my tank top down further he was able to see where the lines of sun soaked skin ended. His mustache tickled me as his lips traced over each line, pressing soft kisses until they became deeper, wetter.

His tongue poked out to swipe at the skin, causing me to throw my head back in a moan. “Javi, fuck.”

“Mm, not yet, cariño.” Javi hummed against me, setting my skin alight. “I’m going to take my time with you. Show you everything you missed, all because you made a mistake.”

I groaned. Of course he was going to pull that card. He had been an absolute tease the entire time I was healing. When my skin hurt too much to touch he would instead use his eyes. I could barely get through a sentence without him staring at my lips, biting his own until I was a stuttering mess. He’d ask what was wrong, but his eyes held that mischievous twinkle.

When my skin was peeling, I was too grossed out to let him touch me. “I look like a lizard!” I had said one night when his hand was creeping up my thigh.

“That’s alright,” he had practically cooed in my ear. “I can wait. Then my baby will see what she’s been missing.”

The threat wasn’t the usual kind. I was used to being on the verge of tears after he had threatened to not let me cum, and had held true to his word. Or the threat of spanking me if I didn’t smarten up. But that time I wasn’t sure what I’d be in for. Especially since I had to wait to see what he’d do.

His hands slid from my straps to the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up until I raised my arms. “There we go, that’s my girl.”

The air felt good on my skin, making my nipples pebble before his eyes. I didn’t miss the way his tongue darted out of his mouth to lick his lips at the sight.

“My god. It’s like they’re on display for me.” His hands reached up and cupped them, his palms warm and comforting. “You’re so beautiful.”

He lowered his head and brought one of my nipples into his mouth, while his fingers flicked over the other one. I twitched when I felt his teeth scrape against the sensitive nub, and shivered when he chuckled.

“Why don’t you get more comfortable, hm?” His eyes were wide, usually a softer look on him. But the darkness of his pupil swallowed any innocence. He wasn’t asking. “Lay down.”

I did as he said, making sure I put a pillow under my head. He smiled, a softness flashing in his eyes before it was replaced yet again by that menacing look.

“My baby is so good for me, isn’t she?” I felt the rumble of his voice through my veins.

“Yes,” I said, my voice as soft as a whisper.

“Yes, what?”

I gulped. “Yes, daddy.”

His eyes widened for a split second as his lips parted around a tiny gasp.

We didn’t always explore that side of us, and whenever we did he let me be the one to choose that path. However, when we did explore it, I usually found myself getting completely lost in him. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

I wasn’t sure if I believed in heaven, but I certainly believed in Javi.

“Good,” his voice like velvet wrapped around my senses, “good girl.”

I smiled at him, while he started to strip. His shirt was pulled up and off, revealing his always tanned skin that I was usually jealous of, and the ripples of his muscles as he threw his shirt to the side. His hands lowered to his briefs, and I could see the outline of his cock pushing through. The fabric was lowered so slowly that I was practically drooling by the time the base of his cock was shown.

“Please,” I whimpered before even realizing the word left my lips.

“Patience,” he growled. “You’ll get what I give you, when I give it. Keep those pretty eyes on me, baby.”

My eyes flicked down to his hands once again, and he finally pulled his briefs all the way down. His cock sprang up and bobbed in the air, the tip swollen and a deep pink. I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth to hide the moan I felt stirring in my chest.

He walked forward until his knees met the bed and he started to crawl toward me on them while his hand fisted his cock. The muscles in his forearm shifted under the skin as his fingers squeezed over his head every time his hand pulled forward. Even if he hadn’t asked me to watch him I probably wouldn’t have been able to look away.

When he reached me he parted my legs. I could feel the air cooling where I was wet between my thighs, and his eyes immediately found the spot. He reached his hand forward and dragged a knuckle against the damp fabric, making my breath hitch.

“As much as I love to see how wet you are,” he began, pulling his hand away, “I’m going to ignore this little pussy for now, okay?”

“B-but,” I stuttered.

“Uh uh,” he tutted, shaking his head. “When I tell you I’m doing something, what do we say?”

“Okay, daddy.”

He smirked. “You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”

“Yes, daddy.” I could feel myself getting wetter, and more impatient, but I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Javi crawled over me, his length a heavy weight on my abdomen. I sighed as he pressed his lips to my forehead.

“My good girl. All mine.” He said, then he kissed my lips.

We moaned into each other's mouths as our tongues danced together. He pulled away and a string of saliva kept us connected until he was too far away. His lips and teeth made their way down my jaw and neck until he reached my chest. We had an agreement that we couldn’t leave any marks where people could see, which meant it was only when I was getting dressed in the morning or undressed at the end of the day that I got to see the bruises forming the shape of his teeth that littered my breasts and thighs. At times even my tummy had a mark or two sucked deep into the skin.

His teeth nipped at the thinner flesh of my breast and I gasped. He immediately soothed the ache with a swipe of his tongue and the press of his lips. We also had an agreement not to cause too much pain, since I was also a bit of a baby. Luckily he knew me well enough to know my limits, and how to push them just right.

“Want me to suck on your nipples? I know you love it,” he said, his lips brushing my skin. I writhed on the bed when his lips closed around a nipple, pulling it onto his tongue. When he pulled away he made sure to look into my eyes. “You know I love it too.”

I whimpered when he lowered his head once more, kneading my other breast with his hand. His tongue flattened against my nipple as he dragged it over top. He kissed his way across my chest until he got to the other one and repeated the process. When I couldn’t lay still on the bed he finally pulled away, looking satisfied with his work.

His eyes flickered to mine. “I want to try something.”

“I trust you.” The words tumbled out of my mouth immediately, because they were true.

Javi sat up and brought his hand to my jaw. His thumb tapped on my lips until I opened them, allowing it to land on my tongue. I sealed my lips around him and sucked, watching as his eyes fluttered shut and praises fell from his lips. When he recovered from the sensation, he continued to keep his thumb in my mouth while he moved his body so he was straddling my middle. He pulled his thumb from my mouth and grabbed both of my wrists, pinning them above my head.

I shivered as he traced a finger along the tan lines made from my bikini top, over my shoulders, down to the curve of my breasts. He followed the lines until he got to the middle, then paused.

“I want to see my cock between these beautiful, beautiful tits, baby.”

I immediately moaned at the thought. We hadn’t tried it before, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about it.

He smirked. “You like that idea?”

“Yes, please, daddy,” I nearly panted, just wanting him to make a move.

“Gotta make it nice and wet though,” he cupped my jaw again, tapping his thumb on my lower lip. “Open up for me, baby.”

My jaw stretched with how wide I opened my mouth, my tongue laying out on my bottom lip.

He moved himself up until his cock was at my mouth, then he held himself in one hand to guide his cock onto my tongue. I closed my eyes and sighed at the taste of him. It felt like I had been waiting forever to feel the heft of him settling in my mouth.

“Eyes on me, hermosa,” he instructed, my eyes snapping open to obey. “You’re so perfect for me, doing so good.”

I hummed around his length as he shifted his hips, sliding in and out of the heat of my mouth. Although he was turned on before, I could still feel his cock hardening slightly more.

“Oh, baby,” he moaned while tilting his head to the ceiling. “This mouth is so good, so fucking good.”

My eyelids felt heavy and threatened to close, letting me lose myself in the pleasure of making Javi feel good. But even if I wanted to I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The way his jaw flexed, the muscles fluttering, his hair disheveled, and when he brought his eyes back to mine I was a goner. They were blown nearly black, the intensity making me squeeze my thighs together as they pinned me there. All his for the taking.

It felt too early when he pulled himself away, and when I whined he chuckled.

“I know, mi amor.” He maneuvered himself so he was straddling my upper torso again, stroking his cock that was wet from my mouth. “You like making daddy feel good, don’t you?”

Javi reached behind him and slid his fingers into the front of my underwear. His lips parted on a sharp intake of breath.

“So wet, (Y/N).” He brushed against my clit and my body jerked from the contact. “These panties are soaked, and this poor, little clit wants attention, doesn’t it?”

“Y-yes, daddy,” I said, panting. “Please.”

He pulled away and I whined once more. “Soon, hermosa.”

Javi let go of his cock and it landed on me with a wet slap between my breasts. He brought his hands to my chest and began kneading the skin there, his fingers indenting in and his thumbs flicking over my nipples. His cock was nestled snug as he pushed my breasts together.

I wiggled on the bed as the heat of him soaked into my sensitive skin. Even though he was still a bit wet from my mouth the feeling was too dry, but just watching him turned me on too much to care. Before I could think about it anymore, he leaned down a bit and spit directly onto his cock. I arched my back as much as the weight of him would allow and moaned.

He smirked. “I know, baby, you like that? Want me to spit on these gorgeous tits?”

I didn’t even have to answer, he repeated his action. The heat of his spit warmed my chest, and my arousal practically pooled between my thighs. I squeezed them together to try and relieve some of the pressure while Javi picked up his pace. The squelching of his cock mixed with his spit filled the room, echoing off the walls and into my ears.

My words jumbled together in a mixture of ‘yes’, ‘please’, and ‘daddy’, as he lost himself in the pleasure.

“Open your mouth, (Y/N),” he commanded. I did as he asked, and completely gave myself over to him as he spit directly onto my tongue. “Swallow. Good girl, such a good girl, fuck. Show me your tongue.”

Once again I obeyed and felt him push further forward, bumping the head of his cock against my tongue. Precum leaked from his tip and connected us in a string as he pushed himself between my tits and onto my tongue over and over again. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he took what he needed and I gave him everything I had.

Finally he pulled away and I whined. “Oh, hermosa, I know you were having fun but I need to be inside you.”

I smiled at that and wiggled my hips as he made his way between my legs. His fingers were bruising as he spread my thighs and eyed the wet patch on my underwear.

“You’re so wet, fuck.” Javi’s voice was strained, but soothing to my ears. “Want me to take care of this pussy?”

“Yes, please, daddy.” I barely recognized my voice in those moments, completely given over to pleasure. “I need you so, so bad.”

“Lo sé, baby,” he cooed while slowly pulling the fabric off my hips and down my legs. “I’ll take care of you. Doesn’t daddy always take care of his girl?”

I nodded frantically, and when he pinched my thigh I gasped out, “yes, daddy, always.”

He leaned down and traced his tongue along the tan lines on my hips. “You look so good like this, but I need to see this ass.”

He wedged his hand between my body and the bed, maneuvering me so I was flipped over. I helped him and got comfortable on my stomach while he reached over and grabbed a pillow.

“Lift your hips,” he said, tapping a finger on my side.

I did as he said and he wedged the pillow under me so my ass was higher up.

“Look at you, being such a good girl, following all of daddy’s instructions.” Javi leant down and placed a kiss on the base of my spine. “And look at this ass, so perfect.”

His hands reached up and palmed both cheeks, kneading them. I felt the air brush against my most intimate parts as he spread me. Embarrassment at being under his watchful gaze crept up my chest, and I hid my face in my pillow. He must have felt how tense I got because he smoothed a hand up my spine.

“Is my baby feeling shy?” I nodded into the pillow. “Oh, you poor thing, there’s no need. Daddy’s got you, just relax.”

I turned my head so my cheek was smushed into the pillow and I could look at him over my shoulder. His hands were on my body but his eyes were on mine, giving me an immediate sense of calm.

Javi had seen every part of me before, and not just physically. He’d seen me at my most stressed, upset, angry. He’d also seen me at my happiest, usually in his arms.

The past few weeks he’d seen me as red as a lobster, and although it was embarrassing, he stuck by my side and reassured me with a burning kiss on my forehead that I was still so beautiful in his eyes.

So why should I suddenly feel embarrassed about being completely bared to him? There was no need. I knew he would always take care of me.

I felt my shoulders melt away from my ears, and it was like each column of my spine slowly unlocked. I became putty in his hands.

“That’s my girl,” he practically purred before placing another searing kiss on my spine.

I felt him spread me once more and he inhaled sharply. His thumb pressed against the tight ring of muscle and I sighed at the feeling. It wasn’t like he hadn’t touched me there before, but it was rare that I was on display while he did. Usually it was just while he was already doing something else, and usually I had something else inside me. We had discussed anal before and it wasn’t something I felt the need to try, but I couldn’t deny how good it felt when he would play with me.

I gasped when I felt something wet land on my asshole, and when he groaned I knew what it was. He spit once again, and the wetness intensified. I moaned at the feeling, wiggling my hips under his grip.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so good for me. Being so patient.” He spit once more, sliding his thumb around and coating me. “You look so good like this, you’re practically dripping for me. You like when daddy plays with your ass?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said, panting slightly. “Feels so good.”

One finger slipped to my clit, while his thumb pressed harder against the muscle. I could feel him slipping in slightly and groaned at the intrusion. Just giving myself over to him had me feeling like I was going to cum any second, and the way his finger circled my clit with perfect pressure had me barreling toward that finish line.

“I can feel you tensing up, baby, you gonna cum for me?” I moaned in response which made him smack his palm down onto my ass. “Use your words, (Y/N).”

“Yes, daddy. I’m gonna cum, daddy,” I whimpered.

“Good,” he growled, then I felt him shift on the bed.

I hadn’t realized my eyes were closed until they snapped open at the feeling of his tongue flattening against my asshole. Another whimper left my mouth that ended in a groan. He still circled my clit while his other hand held me open for his mouth. The sounds of my wetness and his tongue sliding against me were obscene, especially when he started fucking his tongue into me.

I panted, moaned, and writhed on the bed.

“That’s it,” he said between licks and fucks. “Push your hips back, baby, cum on my face.”

That’s all he needed to say before my orgasm overtook me. I pushed my ass back against him over and over while his fingers and tongue worked to bring me back down to earth. When I finally settled my throat felt hoarse and my bones liquified.

His hands smoothed up my sides as he slid his body over mine. I sighed as his weight settled over my back, his hands on either side of my shoulders making sure he wasn’t completely squishing me. Not that I minded. I felt as though he was keeping me grounded, my breathing evening out further and further at the press of him against me.

I felt his cock nestle against my ass, and rocked myself forward, both of us moaning together.

“Baby, fuck, you feel so good.” His lips brushed against the shell of my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

“Please,” I breathed, “I need you.”

“Yeah?” He asked, pushing himself up enough so he could fist his cock and line up against me. “You need me to fuck you?”

I moaned as the blunt head of his cock pushed against my entrance. “Yes, please, daddy. Please fuck me.”

His cock pushed into me slowly, the stretch had me rolling my eyes into the back of my head as my toes curled. I felt like my body was melting into the exact shape he needed, completely made for his cock.

“You take me so well,” he panted, starting a steady pace. “You always take me so well, my good, good girl.”

We gasped and moaned and panted together as his hips pushed into my ass over and over again. He dropped himself down again so he was pressed to my back while he continued to rut into me. My thighs clenched, adding more pressure to my clit, the friction making a second orgasm start to approach faster than I could have anticipated.

“Can feel you clenching around my cock, so warm and wet. Fuck, you gonna cum again?” His words spurred me on, a heat building in my abdomen and spreading down my thighs. “Cum for me, baby, please cum for me.”

I moaned out and felt myself teeter along the edge, just one more push was all I needed. As if he could read my mind his hand slipped up and around my throat, squeezing just enough to cause stars to erupt along the edges of my vision.

“Cum for daddy,” he growled in my ear, his hand keeping me in place while he buried his cock even deeper.

“Fuck!” I cried out, cumming hard underneath him. My senses were filled with his smell, his touch, his sounds. I was all his.

Javi groaned and sunk his teeth into my shoulder, right where the tan line of my bikini strap was, as his body shuddered. His cock pulsed inside me as hot ropes of cum painted my walls. His body melted against mine even further once he was done, and he licked and kissed along my shoulder where I had no doubt there was an indent of his teeth.

We sighed together, finally relaxing fully, and he slipped off of me. He pulled my body against him and held me in his arms. I could feel his cum stick to my inner thighs, but I didn’t want to think about moving until my heart stopped beating so fast.

He kissed the top of my head while his hand cradled the back of it.

“So,” I started, my voice coming out smaller since my throat was still aching slightly, “the tan lines really do it for you?”

Javi laughed, the sound rumbling through his chest and making me smile. “Yeah, I guess they do. But at the end of the day you just do it for me in general.”

I tilted my head up so I could lose myself in the warmth of his eyes. “Even when I was a lobster?”

His lips tilted into a smirk. “I think the lobster thing got me the most.”

My jaw dropped in shock. “Hey!”

He laughed again, pulling my face back into his chest. “I’m kidding, baby. Please try to be more responsible next time, okay?”

My arms tightened around him as I nuzzled my cheek into his skin. “I promise, Javi.”

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