#like yeah he’s just a merc but he’s got interesting parts to him

[impossible-rat-babies]

also the catboy from the allied beast tribe quests peaks in the ARR content tragically

[sturnsdarling]

'Chris likes girls who don't like him back'

Late night streaming with your best friends turns to a conversation about the boys' type, and Chris gets called out

vibe check: flirty fluffy fun, 3/4 of my favourite f words

1.4k words

A/N: i had this idea literally straight away after what Matt said about Chris' type.........the idea of being Chris' best friend that he openly fancies but you're 'not interested' makes MY TOES CURL BRO LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING anyway I hope you love this. PART TWO IS INCOMING…

love and cigs, merc

"Matt he's right there what the fuck are you doing?!" you scream down the mic, nearly throwing your controller across the room as you jolt back in your chair.

You watch as Matt gets sniped in the head from the back, laughing as he wails on this desk, making the whole stream glitch and nearly crash. Chris is laughing along with you, trying not to make it obvious that he's watching you, and not Matt.

"Matt, bro you need to fuckin' up your game, y/n/n is actually carrying us right now." Chris says as Matt picks his chair up off the floor and sits back down in a huff.

"I always carry when I come on with you boys" you smirk, looking at the tiny square of Chris on your screen.

"yeah because you're a little sweat" Matt chuckles.

The boys had been streaming everyday for over a week now and, after some convincing, they managed to get you to join in on one of their games. At first you were apprehensive, obviously, but they explained that they were trying to diversify their platform and find a more mature audience so, actually interacting with girls on the internet was their first step.

You and the boys had been friends for forever, you met them through Nick in elementary school and had basically all been inseparable ever since, you'd been in some earlier videos but the fans back then made it very difficult to just exist around them so, you took it upon yourself to only exist in their real life, not their online one.

Cut to right now, you're nearly two hours deep in fortnite trios with the boys on stream, everyone was super excited to see you when they announced that they'd be joining and, other than a couple comments that you all ignored, it was going really well.

"Matt, someone asked what our types are" Chris laughed, reading the chat.

"I'm not answering that" Matt dead panned, screwing his face up at the camera

"I can answer it for you both, for sure" you chuckle, "chat do you want me to answer it?"

"yes, yes, yes, yes, omg yes" Chris was reeling off the answers in chat, "everyone wants y/n/n to answer, Matt should we let her?" Chris asked.

Matt rolled his eyes with a smile, "g'head, y/n/n, expose us" He chuckled.

"okay, so" you said, in your best girly gossip voice, "Matt likes nerdy, reader, soft girls" you begin to explain, your train of thought is interrupted by Chris erupting into laughter.

"dude she's so right! you love a girl that looks like she's always buried in a book" Chris wails.

"what are you guys even saying?" Matt complains, the smile etched across his face giving his tone a lot less power.

"you definitely want a girl who will go on a hike with you or some shit, Matt" You say, enjoying this whole interaction a bit too much.

Chris was keeled over in laughter, loving finally being able to talk about this kind of stuff on the internet without everyone going insane.

"I dunno why you're laughing so much, Chris, you're next" Matt states, Chris shrugs in reply.

"i don't give a fuck, call me out y/n/n, gimme the best you got" Chris sits back in his chair, arms folded over his chest.

"hmmmm" you say, exaggerating your thinking, "what is the famous Christopher Sturniolos type" you rub your chin, pretending to be thinking deeply.

A knowing smirk is spread wide across Chris' face as he stares at your face on his screen, tongue prodding the side of his cheek.

"I know Chris' type" Matt adds, a menacing smile on his face.

"g'head matt, you take this one" you gesture to the boy on your screen.

"Chris likes girls who don't like him back" Matts brows raise in accusation towards Chris.

You try and hide the smile forming on your face, attempting to look as focused on the game as possible as your tongue prods at your teeth. Neither of the boys say anything, both of them cheesing, Matt in a teasing and knowing kind of way and Chris more so in a 'I cant say what I wanna say' kind of way.

"damn, Matt, you just called me the fuck out" Chris shakes his head, looking to the tiny version of you on his screen.

You're still quiet, trying to fight the smile on your face and look as focused as possible, you catch Chris looking as if he's looking at you on his screen and shake your head with a chuckle.

"what you grinnin' at, kid?" Chris smirks.

You raise your brows, shaking your head with a downwards smile, "no, nothin', nothin" you say, returning your focus back to the game.

All of the viewers watched the interaction and were blowing up the chat with comments about how Chris definitely likes you, saying things like 'did you guys see that?!', and 'think they're slick look at how they're both smiling!!!!!'. Chris was reading the comments and trying to hide the red blush crawling its way onto his cheeks, Matt was relishing in the fact that Chris was so obviously nervous, and you were just trying not to react.

"Chris, dude, you better wipe that smile off your face, chat's onto you" Matt pokes the bear.

"chat ain't onto shit, Matt, shut the fuck up" Chris says, trying to be serious but unable to push his smile down.

"you know i'm right though, you do like girls who don't want you" Matt pushed on with his joke.

"Matt, shut your fuckin' mouth, dude" Chris rolled his eyes and shook his head, his smile still prevalent.

You couldn't help but laugh, still pretending to not care about the situation unfolding. In hindsight, it probably made it all the more obvious that you knew exactly what Matt was referring to.

"you're awful quiet, y/n/n, you got nothing to say on Chris' type?" Matt extends his joke over to you and your attention is immediately on him.

"nah, you hit the nail on the head, I think" you shrug, stretching back in your chair and adjusting your headset.

"oh really?" Chris replies, brows raised in accusation.

"mhm" you nod, faux innocently.

Chris kisses his teeth, nodding and trying to hide the smile on his face once again.

"yeah, chat, Matts right, I like pretty girls, who don't like me back" Chris says, subtly turning his attention to you and then back to chat.

You roll your eyes with a smile, leaning forward once more to lock into the game.

"you're ridiculous, Chris" Matt chuckles into the mic, watching you shift in your seat, trying not to blush.

The rest of the game went off without a hitch, you guys went on to win multiple times and all the viewers eventually stopped trying to get the conversation back to Chris' obvious crush on you. You played until the early hours of the morning, joking and laughing with the boys' just like old times and relishing in the fact that you were finally able to be a part of their online presence again. When it hit around three a.m you told them you had to sign off, explaining that you had to be up early for college that morning.

"guys, I gotta go, but I'll text you when I wake up" you said, pulling off your headset, and brushing your hair back with your hand.

"alright, y/n/n, thanks for helping us bury kids, its always a treat" Matt grinned at you, shooting you his token boyish smile.

"you know I live to humble kids on fort, Matt" You shrugged, putting on your best boyish persona, earning a laugh from Matt

"okay seriously, I gotta go, bye chat!" you smile, "bye boys" you go to switch off your computer but you're stopped by Chris booming voice.

"bye, beautiful" he says, a cheesy grin on his face.

your eyes roll to the back of your head as an uncontrollable smile finds your lips, "bye, Chris" you reply, switching off your computer.

The whole chat erupts with people losing their minds over Chris calling you beautiful, the boys say nothing, Matt just shakes his head, laughing at the chat as he watches Chris, grinning with pride and completely unashamed of his very obvious crush on you.

taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10

[papil0nglegs]

One small step at a time! 🛸

Tf2 x Juno!reader

A/n: This one’s for all my overwatch babes <33 ik this idea is rlly niche but this was so fun to write I’m so proud of this. Most of these can be interpreted as platonic but read however you’d like, enjoy ✨

Warnings: Scottish people, Drinking, Passing out drunk

Vocab: (p/f) - Parental Figure

Engineer

He has such a father daughter relationship with you

When you first landed on earth he was extremely fascinated by the technology your (p/f) discovered to get to mars, especially your anti-gravity boots

“So these things are just makin’ you float around?”

“Yeah! I’m not really used to earths gravity so my (p/f) sent me off with overboots!.. how do you guys get anything done while stuck on the ground?”

“We just make do with what we can, sugar”

His fav activity with you? Lounging. Doesn’t look like much but his rancho relaxer + you using your jetpack to ‘sit’? Soo cute

You guys would just be chilling in his workshop after doing whatever task it was you were doing <3

“You want a beer, Buttercup?”

“No thank you! I’m not really fond of drinks with alcohol since all we could drink at mars was juice and water”

“shoot, glad I’m not you”

He’s definitely one of the mercs who warmed up to you the fastest, he’s just chill like that.

Medic

Pls don’t tell him your from mars, weird shit is gonna happen

He’s going to treat you like one of his test subjects, at first it starts tame with general check ups but it escalated pretty fast.

When doing his uber surgery on you he decided to explore more things

“..how long was I out, Dr. Ludwig?”

“Oh not long!! Just two.. days”

“What? You said it would only take about 20 minutes!!”

“Vell yes I did say that my Martian friend, however I must say curiosity got the best of me! I simply had to know more about your anatomy”

“Uhm,, ok”

Yeah you’re so scared of him now lol

But of course you two do need to work together to try healing your teammates

He loves it when you heal him, it’s always a pleasant surprise since he never expects to get healed, like ever

“Here! I can help you!!”

“Oo, so vats how it feels..”

Spy

Yeah he doesn’t think your good for the team

Sure it was interesting to meet someone who was born and raised in a completely different planet, however your inexperience with earth was enough for him to neglect you

Once you visited his smoke room to find abundance of books, you being new to earth were excited to see all the knowledge they carried

“Wow! Can I borrow this one? I’d like to learn more about earth and its continents!!”

“Go ahead, I never made use of that thing anyways”

It always catches him off guard how little knowledge you have about earth, especially since your were chosen to go on the mission to earth

Once you randomly found a globe somewhere in the break room and got so fascinated by it

“Earths colors are beautiful, I’d really like to go the that purple one!”

“Y/n, Russia is not purple. And you don’t want to visit there, it is full of trash people.”

“Oh..I see”

He doesn’t guide you to earth like the rest of the mercs, he wants to really straighten your back and push you to your limit

“Would a croissant go well with your meal good sir?”

“Excuse me?”

“You seem like you are from the Western Europeans my (p/f) brought back to mars!! Au revoir madam, please enjoy your tea”

Tbh that moment made his heart melt by just a little bit. Hey, he’s not a monster he can have heartfelt moments.. sometimes

Sniper

You are so fascinated by him, literally just him

For the most part it’s because of his job title ���assassin’, you’ve never heard of such a job back home.

“Is it true you earn currency to kill specific people?”

“Why of course Sheila, who else would do it?”

“Well, on mars we kinda just let them live even if we don’t like them.. that’s a thing here right??”

You love going on roadtrips with him so he can show you around, just to see get a feel of that New Mexican dirt

You two have a relation where he misses his parents despite always arguing with them, and you miss your (p/f) because you two now live on completely different planets.

On those trips you tend to enjoy chilling in the back of his trailer. You can’t stand spending another second on an uncomfortable leather seat!! So you roam around a lot in what he basically considered his home.

“How was it back there? ‘eard sum ruckus out in the front.”

“Oh right! I am trying to get use to earths gravity so I tried cleaning up here a bit, I hope you don’t mind!!”

He almost cried, you reminded him of his ‘mum’

Whenever you’re curious about any animal you always go to him, we all know Australia a place with weird animals so

“Mr. Mundee, is this spider deadly?”

“I’m not sure, you should probably check in with doc tho. Your face lookin pretty swelled there mate..”

“Oh thank the stars! I was sure this was a lion..”

You passed out from the poison.

It’s good tho, sniper carried you to Medics room like the big brother he is 🧡

Demo-man

YOURE SO SCARED OF HIM

MORE THAN MEDIC

Not only is he obsessed with the drink that you’ve literally never heard of until you arrived in earth, but the way he acts makes it seem like crack

You have so many questions, they almost never get answered because he’s either too drunk or he’ll pass out with medic dragging him out the room

“Is it true that your stomach now declines any normal drinks?”

“Ayouhhh it’s just beerdelicois burp”

“..is he going to be alright?”

“Oh no worries my Martian friend, this happens all the time.. although I can never tell if he’ll live or not”

When on the battlefield he’s always screaming and creaming, sometimes it scares you so much to the point where you ask your fellow teammates to help you

“MR. CONAGHER, I THINK DEMO IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!!”

“Darlin’, I thinks he’s just tryna get some healing..”

“But why is it yelling.. ☹️”

Now you’re scared of Scottish people, and convinced they probably eat their youth

Soldier

He def plays a father role like engineer, but way less charm and warmth to him

He’s like a dad at a soccer game, he’ll cheer you on but aggressively, to the point where it seems like he’s booing you

In the lobby he’d always do his soldier talk, and it never fails to make you do you best

“NOW, WILL YOU HAND THAT TEAMS ASS AND FEED IT TO HIM, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO DRAG YOURS BACK TO MARS TO YOUR MOMMA?”

“No sir!! I’ll feed it to them!”

“THATS RIGHT MAGGOT”

Soldier is always hard on you, sometimes he calls you a ‘space commie’ just for jokes, although his tone definitely sets you off

When you unleashed your orbital ray he started screaming about ‘the commies getting to us’, you had to reassure him several times that it was something you had full control of

Scout

This guy was ecstatic when he found out his new teammate was going to be from space, scout is really into comics (even tho he can’t read) so his imagination went wild when Ms Pauling announced that he’d be fighting alongside what he considered an alien

Once you arrived he was in awe, he thinks you’re the coolest person on the team solely because you’re from another planet.

But he did quickly recognize that you weren’t use to like, anything on earth.

He handed you a cold can of Bonk just for you to look at him confused

“What do I do with this?”

“You drink it?”

“..um I don’t think you’re supposed to drink ‘atomic punch’, that sounds like it hurts 0-0”

He had to teach you how to drink stuff that wasn’t in an aluminum bag, you didn’t take a liking to it but you got used to it

Scout offered you to sleep on the top bunk because he wanted to be nice and all, huge mistake.

The next morning you completely forgot you were on a different planet, so you rolled and fell 9 feet from the bed to the floor.

“Jesus y/n!! what the hell happened?”

“I think I.. fell? Falling feels weird..”

Gets so hype when you two are on the same team, he’s so ready to clock the enemy team with orbital ray

“Scout! My orbital ray is ready!! ^^”

“Whooo! Let’s go then E.T what are we waitin’ for??”

For the most part he’s the one who shows you everything you need to know about earth, baseball is his favorite thing to teach cuz obviously

When you joined him to watch a baseball match you were so excited yet so lost

“What happens if they win? Is this a war?”

“No? Toots it’s just a game”

“Hm, intresting.. then I must try this ‘game’ too!”

[tobiasdrake]

Dragon Ball Daima 01x06 - Lightning

Got: x1 Plane.

Lost: x1 Plane.

Well, that was fast.

*laughs in Daikaioshin*

I could say Beerus or Zeno, but Goku did specify that Kaioshin is the greatest of the "god-like Kaios", not of the gods. Not that he would even know anyway; This is pre-Beerus so he has no way of knowing about gods beyond Kaioshin.

Nonetheless, he's pretty close to right. However, it'd be more accurate to say Kaioshin is the greatest remaining Kaio. There is a seat beyond him. It's just. Vacant.

This is shameless Gohan erasure.

Assuming we're even in-continuity with Super (Which, given the retconning of how Kaioshin and Kibito split, is not guaranteed), Goku hasn't unlocked God forms yet. Ultimate Gohan is the strongest in the universe at this point in time, and the only person who can actually do what Glorio promised the king: Throw hands with Majin Buu and win.

You'd think Kaioshin would know that, since he was there for the whole thing.

These guards interrogating our travelers about Goku's whereabouts is trying to be tense. However, it's hard to sell tension when the only reason anyone seems to be in danger is because Goku's off taking a shit.

We all know he could merc these two guards in five seconds flat if they succeeded in finding him. We've already seen him shitstomp an entire squad of these guys.

Nonetheless, this scene is interesting for the reveal of Panzy's collar beneath her scarf.

They've talked about this before, how all the Third Worlders are collared and can be tracked by them. But there's something really dark and chilling about seeing even the princess forced to wear something like this.

Like "Namekians are actually cross-dimensional beings from another reality who migrated to this universe", "Kaioshin is part of a god-race that's born from tree fruit" is another piece of Toriyama Interview lore finally making its way into the series proper here.

I can't wait to meet the ghost of Dr. Gero's dead son who's inexplicably wandering around Daimakai. :P

You know. This line has me really thinking about Namekians and Kaios/Glinds. We tend to default to masculine pronouns for them because that's what the English translations use.

However, Japanese is frequently a gender-neutral language. It often shuns non-first-person pronouns entirely, preferring to say things like,

Krillin: Goku! We should go spar together! Goku: I would love to spar with Krillin! Krillin: Yeah, it's been so long since I've sparred with Goku and the others. Yamcha: Hey guys, are we sparring? Krillin: Yamcha! Goku came by. Do you want to spar with Goku? Yamcha: Sparring with Goku and Krillin would be great!

In fact, use of pronouns - especially second-person pronouns - can actually make you come across as rude. It can be the equivalent of verbal finger-pointing.

English translations will often insert their own pronouns into the dialogue to sound more naturalistic to English ears. Which means a lot of the pronouns you read or hear in manga and anime are made up by the translators.

It's been a Toriyama Interview plot point for a years now that the Kaios come from a genderless race. But putting a finger on it like this here has me thinking.

I sincerely wonder how much of the gendered language around Namekian and Glind characters in the original manga was actually from the source, and how much was made up in translation?

Like. Namekians have no gender, but the gender they don't have is male. They all use he/him pronouns.

But.

Do they? Or is that just how it got translated into English? Should we have been using They/Them for Namekians and Kaios this whole time?

Very curious now.

That being said, it could honestly go either way. In the same breath that Kaioshin says Glind have no genders....

...he repeatedly genders Arinsu with 彼女 kanojo, the female third-person pronoun and calls her 姉 ane, his older sister. Arinsu is unambiguously gendered with the language he uses, despite bringing up "We don't have genders" as a response to Panzy calling her a woman.

Some real

Panzy: There's that Glind woman too right? Kaioshin: Excuse you, her pronouns are she/her. Panzy: ...that's what I said, though.

energy to this exchange.

Joke's on you, Kaioshin.

You're the only one who has a problem with it. ^_^

His gun is so huge.

Things are finally moving with Glorio now that we know the truth behind who he's really working for.

Makes me wonder what the game plan here is, though. Especially since Glorio thinks he can take Goku, so it's not like they brought Goku here to have him assassinate Gomah so Arinsu could take his throne or something.

The group deliberating the Minotaur's desire to cook and eat them, while also discussing who should fight him? Funny.

That discussion turning from "Glorio should fight him" "No Goku should fight him" into Goku and Glorio stepping outside to fight each other while this poor confused predator just wants to eat?

Priceless. XD This is the best scene that Glorio's participated in yet.

I like the implication that Majin magic isn't something that can be picked up by Ki Sensing. Goku can feel how strong Glorio's ki is, something Glorio himself doesn't know about or understand, but still be surprised by the strength of Glorio's magic because that isn't detectable within his ki signature.

The best part of this fight is the emphasis it pays to Kaioshin sizing up Glorio. He recognizes something in Glorio's magic that threatens to give the game away.

I've been pretty lukewarm on the "Kaioshin investigating Glorio's secret" stuff thus far. Glorio just hasn't been an interesting enough character for me to really invest in his mystery. Finding out who he truly is working for still leaves me pretty meh on the character.

But this whole fight scene, where Kaioshin uses Goku and Glorio's unnecessary pissing contest as a prybar to wrench secrets out of Glorio he didn't realize he was giving away? Perfect.

Bulma tries to get the other ship working and then it doesn't work and fails. And we already know that a Majin is on their way to pick up Bulma and the others so it's not clear if repairing the ship even matters anymore.

It will be interesting to see if something actually comes of this scene or if it's just what I like to call Cashing the Check.

"I have absolutely nothing for these characters to do, I am not ready to advance their story in any way, but I do have some time to kill so it'd be neat if they popped in. Just to say hi and remind the audience that they exist."

That's all I'm expecting this bit to amount to, but we'll see.

Overall, this episode feels like they had one really fucking awesome scene they wanted to write: Goku vs. Glorio, finally showing the full extent of what Glorio is made of and advancing the mystery of Glorio's true agenda.

But needed to stretch it out to an entire episode, and so there's a lot of just faffing about before and after. Some of it's really good faffing about. The Minotaur is hilarious. But it's still faffing about and just counting down the clock until we get to the one important scene.

Far from the best episode we've had, but far from the worst too. And a really fun fight.

[some-pers0n]

hi hey just wanna let u know that i (this anon in particular) would always want to listen to your thoughts about The Thing youre excited about regardless of the reason or my knowledge or the time-space continuum!

YOU! Ohhh anon you poor soul. I'm terribly sorry. I have been holding onto this ask for a while, at least until the next time I felt as Energized about Them again. Shaking. Twitching. I don't quite know how to explain it. I can only take potshots at attempting to rationalize my thoughts behind them. With that said, here's more rambling about Engiemedic, the only thing I seem to care about

I've rambled about Engiemedic a fair amount of times before, either jokingly with goofy remarks about them or writing a giantass fic about them. They scratch a certain part of my brain that is difficult to really describe and pin-down.

Like I've never really "shipped" anybody before them. Did I like ships? Yeah sure of course. I've always liked considering relationships and thinking about how they intersect and are written. It's probably definitely the aroace bit of me talking, but I only really get involved in ships when there's really some substance to them.

It makes Engiemedic this weird fucked up anomaly to me then because what the hell do you mean that this decently popular non-canon pairing that's had all of like 30 seconds of shared screentime and maybe seven panels where they're in the same room at max has become so engrossing and fascinating to me. It's not like the usual ships where this happens to people; the ones with lengthy tragic tales tied to them or spend so much time with one another. It's just two silly guys

It just...perplexes me. It's odd. I can't describe what about it really draws me in, despite the fact I've written so much. I can at least try and figure out what it is though

I think the thing that made me first interested was simply the dynamic and jokes to be made. They are exceptionally silly, wherein I can fully believe them sticking together and doing weird experiments for hours upon hours. It's hard not to imagine them getting excited over whatever project they've been throwing themselves at. It's fun

Because ultimately both Engie and Medic are both unethical murderous science people, Medic obviously while Engie is a tiny bit more subtle. Their dynamic is interesting in that regard 'cause, when paired together, now you've got two weirdo freaky smart people tossing back ideas and before you know it now they're trying to create some sort of nuclear-powered contraption that explodes bones

It calls out to me in a way that other ships don't, especially Heavymedic. No shade to Heavymedic shippers out there, I think it's still a fun ship, but I don't find it as compelling with their dynamic. Heavy is a reasonable and level-headed guy. Yeah he kills people and laughs about their misery and whatever, but he's more stable than most other mercs. If Medic was to say "I want to self-isolate for days on end while I work to create the bubonic plague 2.0" Heavy would have concerns and try to stop him from doing it because What the Hell

Engie, however, would endorse it. I think Engie and Medic are very similar in that regard. They're dedicated to their crafts and understand the nuance and skill that it takes to partake in it. Engie obviously still has qualms and is there in case Medic clearly ain't right, but he's more likely to get caught up in whatever experiment that Medic is trying to do

Which brings me to my next point: the way they influence each other. When together, I think they are at their best and worst (morally at least). It's like that trope with two smart people coming together and being dumbasses, but instead it's with them making weird creations and doing odd experiments that ultimately do not benefit anyone. They simply do it for fun

On a more personal level, I think Medic draws out the parts of Engie where he tries to hide and represses. Headcanons, obviously, but I think Medic taps into Engie's more sinister nature as a maniac with a god complex and a hankering to kill and really draws it out. It's infectious and hard not to try and match his energy. Medic makes Engie want to get more creative with his projects and drives him to be more experimental and, of course, murderous

Likewise and, again, mainly headcanons, I think Engie helps Medic tap into a slightly more "human" side. I think Medic generally struggles with caring about other people, discarding them in favour of working on his own projects and being by himself. Engie is one of the first people he's encountered that not only likes him and enjoys his company, but is just as wacky and weird as he is. Engie is more charismatic and outgoing and, while still not too terribly great with the whole emotions thing, helps Medic out in case he's Not Doing Good

Their personalities intertwine so much they make me ever so slightly ill. They don't seem alike really at first glance. Medic is over the top, eccentric, and generally a giggly mad scientist. Clear to see the archetype he's based on. Yet, when you look past Engie's charming little quips about Texas, he's very much alike Medic. He has a god complex, is highly intelligent, morally bankrupt, etc and etc. He's just as eccentric and wacky as the doc is, but is only slightly better at keeping it under wraps

I just think they're really entertaining when put together honestly. Sure yeah I love me my angsty and fluffy stuff with them, but I think they're simply great when just working on some project and talking to each other. Their personalities bounce off of one another exceptionally well and it's hard for them not to get so caught up in their work that Oh No it's been Four Days and they haven't left the workshop/laboratory

Ultimately, yeah. I think they care about each other a lot that way. Their work is...intimate in a way. They're lab partners. They spend all of this time together, defying God's will with whatever unholy machination they've crafted, they got to have some sort of bond

What makes me happy is that I think a lot of people really like the concept of Engiemedic in any form. Platonic, romantic, whatever. I personally go for QPR stuff (something about their love being undefinable by normal standards blah blah), but I think it's a neat observation that makes me like it more. It's hard to deny that they're really fun together

Speaking of their connections, let's talk about their roles in the actual game. Y'all heard of the Heavymedic duo, with Heavy running around with a Medic pocketing him the entire time, but have you ever considered the Engiemedic duo?? Engie and Medic are the BACKBONES of this game honestly. All it takes is one Engineer or Medic on a team to shift the balance entirely. Everyone wants a good Engie and Medic, but it's a hard role to fill and nobody really wants it. However, they're needed. They're necessary. They're the main support roles of the game than, say, Sniper or Spy ever are. They're the underappreciated, yet incredibly vital parts of the team.

Honestly the Engiemedic duo is far more prevalent and makes far more sense than the Heavymedic duo, because tbh you can say that Medic is closely connected to any class. Soldiermedic duo where Solly just spams rockets and wipes out the entire team. Demomedic duo where Demo just spams pipes and annihilates every building. What makes the Heavymedic duo any special? God I'm sorry for being a little Heavymedic hater, I promise I think the ship is alright, but idk. I like Engiemedic a lot

Anywho, I think Engiemedic is extremely fun to write about as well as just generally experience. There's so much you can apply to them. It's hard to think of anything they can't do, really. They're great with humor, what with shoving them into a room with some cadaver and letting them have at it. They're great with angst because, with headcanons, they can be really heavily fucked up people trying to make things work. They're great with fluff because they're so silly and it's easy to think of them doing cute things with one another. The list goes on!

They're...special to me. They're certainly something. I could go into all sorts of other things too (more esoteric and metaphoric I'm talking), but eh who cares. I don't like delving too much into headcanons and my own weird readings with these more generalized rambles. I just think they're silly :]

[moonisagremlin]

insane. TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR HCS!! ( if you want to) i love spanish speaking mercs in general AWGH

ASDSFGGHGFGFDDDS @bimbombimbo LET ME GO FIND MY NOTES-

okay i found them :D keep in mind this is specifically about which Spain's regions they would be from (because, well, i'm spanish). Also, let's ignore TF2 takes place between 1969 - 1971 because, well, fascist dictatorship, y'know? (it is an interesting concept to further explore, but i'm not feeling like thinking about this rn. i'll make another post i think) ALSO these are mostly based around vibes and how i'm feeling (because headcanons are supposed to be fun).

Offense:

Scout - I couldn't decide between making him Madrileño (from Madrid) or Barceloní (from Barcelona) (but I honestly would ADORE making him from Barcelona so i'm most probably going for that one). I also couldn't choose to make him a cani or a pijo. (I am now realising the amounts of spanish slang i'm saying, so let me explain it to everyone who isn't from spain:

pijo means... umm, kinda like, spoiled rich kid who is kinda mean or an idiot. and cani means, umm... adidas tracksuit, cigarettes, alcohol, horrible music taste, being completely reckless, really disrespectful in general. idk, i think it is because both these kinds of people feel like thery're the best, like, they are really "chulos" and kinda brag about being bad people. i don't know it is so hard to explain slang, let me know if you kinda got the vibe that i'm explaining please thank you)

Soldier - Castellano-manchego. I will just say one thing: Don Quijote de la Mancha. If you don't know who this is, go read the book please, it is the best piece of literature ever, thank you.

Pyro - Extremeño or Murciano. A lot of people joke about Murcia not existing or being like, a Thaumiel SCP, and also about Extremadura being kinda weird(?. honestly, even i do not know that much about it, so yeah, i just think it is funny to make the character we know the least about in canon from the places that i know are kinda weird and unkown (unknown to me at least). I think I'm also leaning for Murcia more because my grandpa was from there and that's cool.

Defense:

Demoman - Gallego. I wanted to make him from Euskalerria, but I think Galicia is more similar to Scotland (and because doing a bomb joke is childish and they're not funny. people have died from terrorism and it is not something from a century ago, this is extremely recent). Anyways, both Scotland and Galicia have really green land, similar weather conditions, amazing culture, and are really unique in general. Also because my grandpa was from there and that's really cool.

Heavy - Vasco. I also didn't make Demoman basque because Heavy fits SO much better. It's, it's the vibes, man. I imagine he would have some trouble speaking spanish because he would be from such an isolated village in an already (geographically) isolated part of Spain that he would be kinda monolingual, mostly speaking basque and knowing some basic spanish. He would be SO connected with his culture, I swear I might do more research and do a whole post about the traditions he would like.

Engie - Andaluz. Andalucia is located in the south and the people there have really good vibes honestly. I think he fits because he's so nice and welcoming, and because I also think him being loud and having such a distinct accent would be amazing. And also I think he would love singing and playing and dancing flamenco. (UGHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS HEADCANONS I THINK I MIGHT DO A WHOLE AU DEDICATED TO THIS AAAAGAGAHAHAHHHHHHH)

Support:

Spy - This bastard is still giving me a headache. He's too french 😭. But seriously, I cannot choose to make him andorrano (and I know Andorra is a separate country from Spain but, idk), català (because at least ONE of the mercs was going to be from where I am from, y'know?) or make him catalan but specifically from la Vall d'Aran (a region where, apart from speaking spanish and catalan, aranès, a variation of the Occitan language, is spoken). Making him from la Vall d'Aran would be CRAZY because that would mean he speaks Spanish, Catalan, Aranese, AND PROBABLY FRENCH TOO BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT NEXT TO FRANCE. That would make him (almost) PLURILINGUAL since birth, and i think that is wayyy too cool. Also, IMAGINE IF SCOUT WAS FROM BARCELONA AND HE AND SPY COULD BOTH TALK IN CATALAN AND BOND THANKS TO THAT AND- IMAGINE THE DADSPY POTENTIAL AAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA-

Sniper - Canario. He would be from the Canary islands because, yes. I don't really have a reason honestly, maybe similar climate to Australia? Or, idk, i think it would also be cool to make him have some kind of latin american ancestry because a lot of people from the Canary islands fled Spain during the Civil War and ended up in places like Mexico and Argentina and stuff, so that would be cool. Or I could make him straight up latino, which would fit him honestly. I don't really know, both options are really cool.

Medic - Mallorquí/Menorquí. From Islas Baleares in general. This is because A LOT of germans go on vacation there, to the point this is a huge meme in Spain. So yeah, I think it would be funny to make him balear with german ancestry I guess. He can speak spanish, german but also catalan (because catalan is also spoken there), but he has a really strong accent and sometimes Spy and Scout need to really focus on what he's saying to understand what he means. Seriously, if you hear MY western accent and compare it with a eastern balearic accent/dialect you would say they're NOT the same language because of how different it all sounds.

Bonus characters!

The Mann brothers, possibly the Admin?... blablabla, all of those people - Madrileños (from Madrid). The Mann brothers convinced Zepheniah to buy some land in the middle of Aragón and you know what happened.

Miss Pauling - Valenciana (from Valencia). Idk i don't wanna make everyone from Madrid y'know? And also guess what language she speaks apart from Spanish :)

Saxton Hale - Same thing as Sniper, I don't really know if he should be full latino or canario with latinamerican ancestry.

Merasmus - Idk. Portuguese? Andorran? Asturiano? Navarro? I don't know. Galician would be cool as fuck tho because there are a lot of legends and myths about magic and stuff and idk, i have a book about celtic witchcraft and i could read it i think.

Woah, this is a LONG post I am sorry. I hope you learned something about Spanish culture (which doesn't only surround about paellas and flamenco, please). And I hope I do some fanfics or fanart from this AU (can I call this an AU? i don't really know). And if anyone wants to adopt these headcanons or do a similar kind of post, you have my permission (even though you don't need to) and PLEASE, tag me if you make a fanart or something similar I would LOVE to see it <333

[captain-mj]

Can you do another part for alien korangi au? I'm starving 🙏😔 (love ur writing btw❤️)

Part 1 Part 2

Thank you!

Horangi sighed as König left. He really doubted that he'd actually be back. Maybe the next solar cycle of his species when he got horny again. As nice as being swept away sounded, it just didn't actually happen. All kinds of people and non people promised him this.

Horangi checked his debt, seeing the giant chunk taken out of it by König's generous payment. He had tipped heavily, easily paying a month of Horangi's work.

Two months passed. Horangi continued to work as normal. Sometimes, his mind would wander to König again.

The biggest part that he missed was the intimacy of it. König didn't speak the majority of the time but he had pressed into him and held him so tight.

It was a lot better than most of his clients who left him aching and starving for a nice hand through his hair.

Horangi groaned and stretched, back arching. He checked his debt.

5 coins.

5.

Horangi could go outside and ask that of someone.

He quickly went to check who deposited so much money.

Colonel König. As a tip.

Horangi stared at it for a long time.

5 coins.

Someone knocked and he sat up quickly. He scrambled up and got dressed before opening the door.

König.

"Hi."

König didn't speak. His hood kept his face covered. But he did lean down and brush their cheeks together. "My Liebling."

Horangi growled and shoved him before yanking him closer to him by his belt loops. "Not a word for two months!! Not a word! I thought you had given up on me!"

König shook his head. "Worked a bunch of overtime. Was too busy. Also didn't want to waste any money." He yanked him along before making himself calm down and instead gently lead him.

"Why leave 5 coins?" Horangi had none of the same scruples, yanking König to him constantly and making them bumbled around.

"Wanted to pay it in person."

"This is crazy. You get this right? You paid so much money for me. You didn't even purchase me! Just paid off my debt like a crazy person!"

"I could've purchased you?' König sounded rather interested but it was clear he was joking. Especially since he was currently trying to nuzzle back into Horangi.

Horangi hit his ribs and kept following him.

König handed Horangi the money and Horangi paid the last of everything. It was a rather anti climatic. He was just... there. And he was free to leave for once.

König hummed. "Can I have my date now?"

"Gongjunim, you can have whatever you want." Horangi said smiling at him.

They ended up a parlor nearby. It served tons of things, the best being pastries. König paid for everything, insisting on it. Mostly because Horangi had no money.

He watched Horangi eat with a ton of interest. He didn't lift his hood very much so Horangi couldn't return the favor.

König purred happily when Horangi took another bite. "Any plans?"

"Not really. Burned a lot of bridges back home."

"Could get you a job working for me."

Horangi stared at him. This wasn't hesitation. Instead it was introspective. "Am I just going to be your paid secretary that you bang?"

"Mercenary."

Horangi's interest was immediately piqued. "Go on."

"You'd be a merc that I scouted that I bang." König said with a smile in his voice.

Horangi tapped his fingers. "Only when I want it."

König blinked in shock. "That was a question?"

Horangi found something about this man to be very attractive. He wasn't sure what exactly it was, but he did.

Some patrons were watching them with unease. Probably waiting for König to suddenly go crazy. Start eating people like some beast.

Horangi finished eating. "I'll take you up on it. For a little while. Something to get me on my feet yeah?"

König smiled at him. "You'll stay in my home."

Horangi hummed. "You don't have a harem like some of your species does right?"

"No.... If i did, we wouldn't have met. I'm very glad I don't have a harem." König didn't meet his eyes.

"Take me home then."

Horangi was on König's bed and being attacked. König kissed him all over, pulling him in between his thighs. He purred and wiggled, rubbing all over Horangi.

Horangi laid back and let König snuggle him. "My liebling.'' König cooed and put his face in Horangi's neck.

They existed tangled up for quite a while before things dragged König away.

At night, they once again intertwined, being rather insistent about it. They tangled together and kissed.

König's hood ended up on the floor. Horangi held him close and kissed him sweetly.

They started to make love. König was so sweet about it. So nice and sweet. He thrust into him over and over and over again. Driving right into his sweet spot.

Horangi held on and reveled in the pleasure of everything. König kissed him softly, licking into his mouth. "You're so sweet."

Horangi wailed when he came. He couldn't help it.

[gothamusing]

DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE (2024) PART TWO. a collection of memes derived from the deadpool and wolverine movie, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i know how to fuck people up for money, but you, you, know how to save them.

they call me the merc with the mouth. they don’t call me truthful timmy, the blowjob queen of saskatoon.

you know what, you’re a fucking joke.

i have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life.

you will never save the world.

you couldn’t even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper.

i wish i could say you’d die alone, but it’s one of god’s best jokes that you can’t die, except that’s on all of us!

i’m gonna fight you now.

you dirty bitch!

i take it all back, the honda odyssey fucks hard.

oh, we’re just getting started.

i don't like you.

and who’s this succulent reminder of my own inadequacies?

i can tell you now, it’s just a common courtesy to ask before you drink up all of my liquor.

it’s a good thing i don’t give a fuck.

it’s like pinocchio jammed his face in my ass and started lying like crazy.

people like us don’t go quietly.

let’s get the fuck out of this place.

don’t listen to him, he’s a fucking liar.

you made it out alive?

look, there’s strength in numbers, all right?

i know what it means to feel self-doubt.

dick head here, talk to him about team up. then he came down with a little case of the deads.

if he survived that, he is praying for death.

where i come from, we call that suicide.

i’m sick of this shit. i'm sick of hiding.

let’s face it, our world’s forgot about us.

i ain’t know my daddy, but i’m sure i shot out of his dick ready.

you're all fucking dead.

my god, read the room.

i’m not looking for company.

i got to have a life because of you.

trust me, kid, i’m no hero.

i couldn’t have them thinking i wanted to be there.

this suit’s all i got to remind me of who they were.

we won’t pull this off without you.

where'd you get that little beauty?

oh, this is gonna be good.

you know how long i’ve been waiting for this?

you just make sure people know what happened here today.

when you get out of here, you have a drink for me, yeah?

some motherfucker’s still trying to ice skate up hill.

you shouldn’t have done that.

you are an interesting one, aren’t you?

you’re hiding from them, from all the ones you let down.

that’s not all you did, is it?

i can silence all those voices.

i've got you.

either you kill me or i kill you. both wonderful options.

oh come on, mr. pg-13 except the last one.

why are you like this?

i know your brother.and as much as i wanna fucking kill you, every bone in my body wants to fucking kill you. he would not let me stand here, and watch you die.

my brother loved you.

if he knew about you, if he knew where you were, he would have torn a hole in the fucking universe to bring you home.

they’re gonna make him do this till he’s 90.

you put all these bullets in my belly and i’m gonna find out why.

you don’t have to stick your fingers in me.

jesus, just ask sometimes.

we had an agreement.

oh, i hate you so much.

why was thor crying?

you tried to kill me.

you come for the king, you better kill the king.

you had to go and piss on my side of the fence, and now the fence must come down.

don’t worry, i’ve called some friends to make sure were not disturbed.

what’s cafe gratitude doing here?

oh, that's funny. i can gently tap the fourth wall too. the proposal.

the fuck was that?

bitch, you think that’s what i do?

i take it they’re not friendly.

i’d love to get in the mix, but i have low bone density and i have to keep my face safe.

when i want your opinion, i’ll take wolverine’s dick out of your mouth.

i think it’s been steadily great since endgame.

what are you talking about?

uzi time, baby.

i think i'm hit.

you did that on purpose.

listen to me, gorgeous. how long does it take for you to regenerate?

you really are god’s perfect idiot, aren’t you?

how dare you, you insensitive son of a bitch.

how was i supposed to know he doesn’t regenerate? i’m not a medicine woman.

i’m gonna get you to safety.

hey, why are we stopping?

listen to me. you're gonna live.

i don’t think he’s gonna make it.

i could taste his final thought. he was so afraid. but he died a hero.

he died from murder, you dumb fuck!

what’s the wind resistance on those blowjob handles?

sorry, i'm just a catty bitch when i'm jealous.

all right, let's do this. maximum effort.

the mask is really intimidating, huh? it’s like batman except he can move his neck.

if you’re not gonna swallow, spit it out.

trust the laws of physics if you don’t trust me.

you heard that asshole upstairs. even if we pull this off, we’re dead, permanently.

you didn’t ask for any of this.

i lied right to your face.

say hi to your friends for me.

i can’t hear you over all the noble sacrifice.

why are you fucking doing this?

sorry, i’m just stalling. i think i’m nervous about dying.

for the first time in my life, i am proud to wear this suit.

there’s nothing you or i can do to bring them back now.

he has risen, babygirl!

we’re doing just fine, you piece of shit.

what the fuck is happening here?

i was just doing what you don’t have the guts to do.

you look damn good in that suit.

i'm so sorry.

i wanna show you something.

i could eat.

you know the avengers discovered shawarma?

what are you gonna do next?

i’m shaking like an angry vibrator.

everyone wants to matter.

give me the fucking dog.

i did it for you.

i know you don’t want me, but i did it for you.

turns out, i am the world’s saving type.

i’m tired of these absolutely vile rumors that i got (blank) killed.

holy shit, girl, you crazy.

gotcha, fuck face.

[flames-unicorns-and-sentryguns]

Larping AU

or: everyone is just playing pretend. The Administrator is someone just kinda watching from the property next door.

Everyone's real life deal

Scout: community college student in his first/ second year. Works part time at subway, working on/ wants to be a voice actor and artist. Not related to Spy here.

Spy: an actual Actor, befriends Scout and males their characters have the Father son relationship. Wears lots of costume pieces and clothes to hide himself.

Demoman: a Scotsman who owns a bar and has a special interest in explosives.

Solider: a history teacher at the college scout goes to. Knows his stuff and will throw in some factual historical/ casual knowledge into his pretend nonsensical yelling.

heavy: a literature teacher at the same college. Befriends Solider, got introduced to Demoman via Solider. Zhanna hangs out with him and ends up as part of the Lore of their game. Met Scout outside of work because he happens to visit the same shop scout works at.

Engineer: is a civil/ electrical engineer. Has wrist and hand problems and wears a brace. Can't actually play the guitar ( partially due to his wrist pain). So he brings around a guitar hero guitar to pretend to play it. Accidentally said yeah I'm playing an engineer because he did not realize they were picking their roles. All his machines are made of cardboard boxes. The dispenser is a cooler people can come by and grab snacks/ drinks and take a break.

Medic: an actual medic, dating heavy still. When he activates ' Uber' he makes the medic theme song with his mouth for 8 seconds.

Sniper: a park ranger at the local wildlife preservation park. Im not taking away the Bushman thing.

pyro: worked or works with some sort of painting/ spray paint and needs the suit/ mask. Friends with engineer still.

They all kinda know each other/ end up visiting the same bar. They got to talking and made a goofy story/ wouldn't it be funny if - situation and started making up a whole lore behind it..

Spy's cloak: he is throwing a blanket of some sort and everyone pretending not to see him. Doesn't smoke, but likes to chew on things. His knives? A Popsicle stick. His disguises? Still the paper masks

Engineer pretends his wrist brace is the Gunslinger and he gets to slap people.

the guns and bats? Nerf guns and the like. Heavys boxing gloves? Socker boppers.

The bombs? Glitter bombs.

Rocket jumping? A pogo stick/ trampoline.

Saxton Hale is a gym bro that comes by sometimes.

pyros flamethrower ? A broken vacuum cleaner/ hair dryer.

Medic carries around a toy medic bag. His medigun? A flash light/ a vacuum hose.

the classic mercs are some old people/ people from the old folks home they invited over for some of the main comic plot.

Merasmus is Soliders room mate and insists on trying to Play regular DND in this larp.

[medics-secret-shipfic-folder]

So... You said that I can rumble about your fic...

Sooo

From main 4 my favorite is Cheavy, becaaaaause, I just LOVE his reactions on shit like...a appropriate response from some random guy in magic apocalypse Everyone is just "OMG WE WILL DIE 😨..... so what I was talking about.. "

Like if I were in apocalypse like this I would FREAK OUT FROM LITERALLY EVERYTHING

THE BLIGHT??? THE DISCIPLINES???? WTF IS AN ARC???? Noooo frick this

So yea, he is literally like... My fav animal, my mood, I fully understand him

ALSO I just... LOVE the Disciplines, they are going on my hear me out cake

Rn I am at like... Beginning 9 chapter, so I am looking forward for this fic

Also just a fun fact, when I found out about TBTF I just thought it would be like some.... Stupid magic AU, but than one day I saw your response to someone about that it is really interesting to put enemies in apocalypse so they need to work together and I am just WHAT?? MAGIC APOCALYPSE, HELL YEAH, GIVE IT TO ME

So yea.... I could rumble about is so much... But I am rn on dumb lecture😔

Honestly, Cheavy having a mostly realistic reaction to the damn APOCALYPSE is one of the funniest parts of the fic. That sincere "NOPE" attitude perfectly contrasts with the other mercs just going along with everything.

Medic: -and we have to rely on these magic rocks to protect ourselves from these eldritch licorice monsters!

Cheavy: WHO THE FUCK IS 'WE'!? YOU SPEAKIN' FRENCH!?

It's SO damn good. Chapter 11 might just be one of the funniest chapters so far. And the most harrowing!

Also, chapter 9 is gonna fucking SUCKER punch you. And then the fic is gonna KEEP sucker punching you afterward. So have fun! You've got 10+ more chapters of Emotional Turmoil to get through!

As for the "magic au" thing...honestly I don't even blame you lmao. I am fully aware that tbtf is a VERY niche concept so I'm certain there are tons of people who have looked at the synopsis, went "wtf" and moved on.

[russilton]

Lewis Hamilton and George Russell talk about each other instead when asked about the potential of Max to Merc

March 8th - Saudi Arabia Media day

Transcripts below - credit to @umflowers

George: George: [laughs] "Yeah, I think… As I said last week in Bahrain, this is my third season now alongside Lewis, greatest driver of all time, and I feel like I've done a pretty good job alongside him, so whoever were to line up alongside me next year or the years to come, I welcome anybody, welcome the challenge.

You always wanna go against the best, but ultimately, for me, just focused on myself. I believe in myself, I believe I can beat anybody on the grid, and you just got to have that mentality, so as I said, having Lewis as my benchmark for the last couple of years has been a pretty good benchmark, for sure."

———

Lewis: "Well, obviously George is an integral part of this team and he's gonna be here for the long haul, and I think he's doing such a great job and I think he's gonna grow into the leader of the team, and so it'll be interesting to see… I don't know what their relationship is, right, but I'm sure they'll work it out, and it will definitely be a strong line-up, of course, similar to what we have in my next team."

[marionvonwolfstadt]

I have read all of your sebmark fics love them. How did all the drivers, presenters react to manager mark & baby seb’s relationship? Do their parents change their minds about their relationship? Do you think seb’s career path will follow real life move to ferrari then aston, or do you have something different in mind?

ooooh kubica/hamilton seems interesting

Thank You so much, anon❤️ Let's begin the yapping session, shall we?

Let's start with the media, I meant to include this in the last part idk why I didn't put more focus on that, only a single scene, well, but yeah, journalist would poke and prod, the narrative won't change very much from the first time the rumours started, that Mark should resign, that there's something suspicious about all this, that them being together is the reason Seb got some kind of better treatment in the team, and ofc the fact that they lied. RBR management protects itself with more denial, they didn't know, that was the info they were given, etc. It drags after them for a long time but dies down like everything in the paddock, press always finds the next thing they can latch onto. But the scandalous roots are etched into their history.

As for the drivers… Kimi wasn't surprised, I think he was the first one to connect the dots, like waaay before everyone else. Max and Charles are the most worried, wary of Mark a little, but they just go with it when they see how happy Seb is. Most of the others are like that, but some hold a grudge, especially the ones that have a history with Red Bull (excluding Danny, but that was written so). And then, there's Lancee, poor guy, he really thought he could hit that lol. Ex-drivers either don't give a flying fuck or are friends with Mark and as much as he likes to blame himself and drown in self-isolation, making himself a martyr, they still find him and support both him and Sebastian.

Vettels come around for sure; in the end, they're the sweetest. As for Webbers, it's more like an armistice. Mark takes Seb to Australia to spend maybe some holiday with Leanne and her family and they just end up being there together, not really talking about the whole thing but being perfectly nice to Sebastian. I think it's not really a 'Seb problem' more like, why the fuck he can't just be with someone appropriate who he can have children with and not stress us for his whole life. You know, parents.

Seb's career path is something interesting to think about and I can picture so many outcomes. Everybody can imagine how it will go as they want, but I have a vague idea that I like. So, in this AU the Merc dominance ended earlier, with two WDCs for Seb and I think one more in RBR, then 2 for Max and we find ourselves at the end of 2023. Seb feels defeated and even though Red Bull is at its peak, he leaves for Ferrari. Then, in 2024 comes McLaren and omg how he would be jealous of Oscar, to the point that it's unhealthy, but I digress (and besides, they're married at this point but keeping it low profile). Mark ofc goes with him to Ferrari as his manager. So, this season Ferrari fights with McLaren, but it's Charles on top, not Seb. And when I come to this point I just can't decide how it would go. 1. Charles wins and brings glory back to Maranello and then fucking retires on the spot like Rosberg, which is unlikely, but if then Lewis comes from the struggling Merc to win his 7th (remember in this he has one less) and they are teammates, it could go either way from there, maybe if Lewis beats him he considers changing teams. 2. Charles doesn't retire, they fight with Seb and this time Seb comes out on top, then comes the fight with Merc that got their shit together and we have like smth similar to the 2017/2018 rivalries between Seb and Lew but maybe Ferrari wins something? XD 3. Again, Charles retires after one WDC and then Seb has a couple of seasons fighting Piastri back and forth. I just don't know who should be Seb's teammate at Ferrari at all (if it's not Lewis), Kimi is retired at this point. And I like to think that Seb retires in red, with like 5-6 titles overall. But again, I can't make up my mind about his career path at all, but he goes to Ferrari for sure. (my head spins at the mere thought of how the drivers' shuffle would look like in this au, silly season all the way). Whatever happens, Mark will stick with Seb, and vice-versa.

[sturnsdarling]

teenage dirtbags, part two

Skater!Matt goes to overachiever!readers dorm so she can help him with his essay

vibe check: bickering, matt fancying the fuck out of reader but being unaware, reader being a snob, kind of flirting? idk if you can call it that lol.

1.7k words

A/N: this is so FUN. in my head, Matt has always secretly thought reader was gorgeous, but any and all good natured feelings were swallowed by an avalanche of irritation and borderline hatred

intro, part one, part three

love and cigs, merc

You were sat on the floor of your dorm, clad in a big knit jumper, little shorts and fluffy socks, cross legged on the carpet with a pencil dangling from your mouth as you scanned the margins of some 19th century text about the French Revolution.

You were pulled from your focus by the sound of your door rattling, three short knocks sounding through your room over the low hum of your record playing in the back.

You looked to your watch, 7:03, Matt was actually on time.

You pushed yourself up off the floor and made your way over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open with a less than welcoming look on your face. You were met with Matt, board in hand and headphones hung round his neck, a flat grin on his face that quickly dropped.

Matt couldn't help but scan your figure, he'd never seen you in anything other than your clean cut outfits, so seeing you in a baggy jumper that hung off your bare shoulder and shorts that just covered your ass was, interesting.

"come in" you said, pulling Matt from his accidental objectifying gaze and stepping to the side to let him in.

"thanks" Matt said as he walked past you, taking in the sight of your room, it actually did smell like vanilla and academic over achievement.

You had more books than he had ever seen in his entire life, the walls covered by rows of bookshelves all packed to the brim with classic literature.

"this is a lot of books" Matt said, gawking at your collection.

You nodded, lips tucked between your teeth as you raised your brows slightly.

"have you read all of these?" Matt asked, pointing at the shelves.

you scoffed with a smile, "no" you shook your head, "just over half, probably"

"that's still impressive" Matt shrugged, dropping his stuff on the floor.

"should we get started?" You said, wanting to cut the small talk and get this over with.

"yeah, sure" Matt said, following your movement and sitting on the floor opposite you, pulling a bunch of crumpled up notes from his bag.

You looked at them in disgust as he tried to flatten them out on the floor, shaking your head as you got up, scanning over your shelves to find anything you had on existentialism. You pulled a few books out and returned to the floor, opening them and scanning over the pages. Your movement grabbed Matts attention, him watching you intently as you began to rip through all the possible approaches he could take, listing off essay summaries as if you knew them like the back of your hand.

Matt wasn't listening, mostly because he had no idea what you were talking about, but also because your hair was falling in your face slightly as you leaned down to scan the books, the strands framing your face perfectly as you spoke with your plump, glossy lips. Matt noticed the small constellation of freckles on your nose, how your eyes darted around the room as you spoke, as if you were literally searching your brain for information, how your brows knit together every time you said 'obviously' and how...what the fuck is going on

"are you even listening?" you snapped, pulling matt from his haze.

"huh?" he said, meeting your glaring eyes, "yeah, yeah, I'm listening" Matt said, shaking the thoughts from his brain.

"because I don't have to do this for you, you know that right? I have much better things to be doing with my time and you're honestly the last person I want to spent my evenings helping" you began to complain, your tone cocky and fed up

"charming" Matt scoffed, "trust me, y/l/n, you're not exactly someone I want to be spending my evenings with either" Matt quipped back, matching your cadence.

"right, well, maybe if you listen to me, this can go a lot faster, and we can go back to pretending we don't know each other" you said with finality.

"fine" Matt shrugged, holding your eye contact

"fine" you repeated, having to get the final word

Matt chuckled, shaking his head with a slight eye roll. You squinted at him, scrunching your face up as his attitude.

"what?" you spat.

Matt couldn't help but grin, "you haven't changed at all" He met your gaze once more.

"what are you talking about?" you said, your voice thick with attitude.

"you always have to have the last word" Matt shifted where he sat, bringing his knee up as a rest for his arm.

"no, I don't" you replied with a scoff.

"yeah, you do" Matt grinned, nodding.

"no, I don't" you pushed.

Matt didn't respond, only raised his eyebrows and tightened his smile, looking at you in an accusatory manner, as if you responding the way you did only proved his point.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and returning your attentions to the book in your lap, "lets just get this over and done with"

The rest of the night went...fine. There was some bickering, mostly started by Matt not listening or simply being himself. You ended up getting his introduction done before you decided it was time to take a break, needing to decompress from all the arguing.

You and Matt sat in silence, you fidgeting with your pen as you scanned over what Matt had written and Matt wandering around your room like a lost puppy, in his search through all your things, his attention was caught by the crates of records that looked as if they were holding up your mattress.

There were hundreds of them, all in alphabetical order, stacked on top of each other in the makeshift bed frame you had made with the crates. Matt scanned the names, in awe of the fact that not only did you collect music, but it was good music. Maybe you did have something in common.

"are these all yours?" Matt said, unable to take his eyes off your collection.

You looked up from the page, looking over to Matt who was crouched on the floor, peppering soft touches with his long, slender fingers over the spines of the records.

"who else's would they be?" you said, raising a brow at him as he looked over his shoulder at you.

"this is an impressive collection, y/l/n" Matt said, ignoring your attitude.

"thanks" you cocked your eyes to the side, generally irritated by him regardless of what he said.

"I didn't know you fucked with music like this" Matt returned his attention to the stacks, "maybe you're not as lame as I thought you were" he looked back to you with a boyish grin

You screwed your face up at him, giving him the biggest condescending smile you could muster up. Matt cheesed at your face, looking back to the music and scanning some titles.

"oh shit, Fleetwood Mac, I fuckin' love them" Matt said, pulling out the Rumours album and turning it over to read the track list, "still not as good as their self titled album from 75" Matt shook his head, putting the record back in its spot.

"are you serious?" you scoffed, "Rumours is easily their best album"

"absolutely not" Matt shook his head, sitting back down opposite you.

you simply stared at him for a moment, trying to process your bafflement, "In what universe is self titled better than Rumours?" you put the page in your hand down, leaning your palm on the floor so your body was towards Matt, your movement causing your jumper to fall down your shoulder slightly lower.

"In this universe?" Matt chuckled, "self titled has Rhiannon and Monday morning" He shifted, one leg tucked beneath him with the other acting as a perch for his arm, knee in the air with his foot on the carpet.

"and Rumours has the chain?" You pressed, "and dreams"

"okay, and?" Matt shrugged with a grin, drawing out his first word.

"you can't be serious?" you shook your head, "Rumours is incredible, you can literally feel the tension between the band with every sentence they sing, the energy is on a different level"

"so the album is good because everyone was beefing? how does that correlate to good music" Matt pushed, only slightly relishing in how worked up you we're getting.

"because?" you scoffed, "it's real, and raw, and the live shows were insane"

"you don't think self titled was real and raw?" Matt raised his brows at you.

"no, idiot, I didn't say that" you rolled your eyes, "rumours is just different, it was like all the anger from everything that happened was spilling out over the sheet music, it was...beautiful" your eyes wandered the ceiling as you explained your reasoning to Matt.

He couldn't help but smile as he looked at you, watching you speak so passionately about something other than how much you despised him was awe inducing, especially something like music, which he would have never have pegged you to care about this much.

You continued to argue your point, but the feeling of Matts eyes on you made your cheeks warm, and you stopped your rambling to look at him.

"what?" you deadpanned, cocking your eyes to the side quickly.

Your change in tone snapped Matt back into reality, and he was quickly reminded of who he was gawking at.

He cleared his throat, "nothing" he dropped his gaze from you, searching the floor for something to pay attention to other than the strange feeling in his stomach.

You furrowed your brows at him, watching the top of his head as he clearly tried to avoid eye contact with you at all costs. what the fuck was that about? you decided not to look into it too much.

"lets carry on, yeah?" Matt said, opening the book in his lap and clearing his throat once more.

"alright" you said, ignoring the tension in the air and returning your attention to the paper in your lap.

You spent the rest of the evening in silence, only talking if you really needed to and staying a good five feet apart at all times. Matt left once you had finished the outline for the body of his essay, still not looking at you for any longer than a second and hurrying out your room moments after you said that you could pick where you had left off tomorrow.

taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10 @cherib3lla @jetaimevous @witchofthehour @sofieeeeex @ncm9696 @lovesturni0l0s @pepsicola-pussy @ifwdominicfike @dani-sturn @stupendousjellyfishpost @aesthetixhoe @sturn-rose @mattsnronebitch @chriscorqutte @elizasturn @ribread03 @st7rnioioss @maggieflms

[adhdo5]

oh I am interested to ask if you had any spoilers when reading/watching mdzs the first time? especially did you already know _the thing_ with nie huaisang like you did with junwu or not?

also as I already said I really love your art your style is absolutely perfect >>>>>

Okay second query first THANK YOUUUUU I am so . Ahwhwhdhegegeg ;w; tht my Images are well received in the world

And first query second: I didn't! I went into CQL pretty much entirely blind –and really bc I knew it was in Mandarin and my friends were doing a watch party so I was like Oh I'll hang out and get some listening practice in! – and I had some REALLY good experiences for it. I did not even suspect the Thing with NHS and the friends I was watch partying with had a BLAST about this it was so funny reading the thread rewatchers were talking in after we finished the series bc I immediately LIKED NHS and I was going Omg yay NHS my perfect meetup boy right up until the Reveal during which I was like OH MY GOD???? MY PERFECT MEETUP BOY!!!!!!! and by god I've been Xiyao posting too much I need to NHS post again I love that guy so MUCH he's a solid favorite character contender and the first I recognized

The only thing I was ~spoiled on was Meng Yao getting a new name bc one of my friends slipped up and called him JGY once and I saw it before they edited the message, and that's only a spoiler in CQL (though tbh I prefer the pacing of how CQL introduces you to JGY, hot take; it's probably in solid part because I was show-first and am just biased toward the thing I knew first, but also the thing is . It was SO fun to meet and get attached to Meng Yao and then see him do more and more fucked up things and go UM . WHAT THE FUCK. literally Lan Xichen simulator)

More fun things from watching CQL blind

I fully bought the core misdirection, in part because I was kind of confused as to what was going on the whole time

When we started I was like "this is fun and charming! I like these characters and such I'm interested in seeing where this goes, though this isn't Seizing me like a new Thing or like Hannibal did it's not lifechanging" And then we got to Lotus Pier arc, and for like three days of episodes in a row (we would watch 2 eps a day) I cried every single time,and then I was like HEY GUYS... I THINK THIS IS LIFE CHANGING NOW

When we finally got out of the time skip I did some speculation as to who died and in fact called that it was Nie Mingjue because in terms of status quo changes "NHS is sect leader now" would function and give NHS something to do that he didn't have otherwise and NMJ was the most narratively killable

After WWX got stabbed at Carp Tower I was genuinely very afraid for a second that she was going to actually die for real, and my friends were like THIS IS A ROMANCE THEY HAVEN'T EVEN CONFESSED?? and I was like YEAH BUT WHAT IF THEY FINALLY CONFESS AND SHE SUCCUMBS TO HER INJURIES IN LWJ'S ARMS OR SOMETHING!!! IT'S SAD AND I'M SCARED??? and had to be assured that it's in fact not the kind of romance where Anyone Can Die™ and happy ending for the main couple is genre guaranteed. But there's a canon divergence idea for you

Before we watched the finale I speculated FURIOUSLY as to who was going to die. Hang on lemme get screenshots

I also remember saying something along the lines of specifically "I'm scared that Jin Guangyao is going to merc Lan Xichen and NO ONE is going to be happy about that, least of all Jin Guangyao" but I can't find it. Kind of yuri of absence about the actual Xiyao ending. Sorry I'm frenzying I just checked the clock and I have an hour to eat breakfast before we watch the finale

Bonus:

[justgrey]

OMG OMG OMG!! Okay so, I had this idea. Imagine Medic with a daughter (or child if you'd like to keep in gender neutral) except this kid is a clone of him! I think she'd be in her mid to late teens during their time in Mann Co, so how do you think Medic would be with a cloned version of himself as a kid? TYSM!!!

I'm gonna keep this gender neutral, I like keeping things as inclusive as possible when it comes to things like the gender of the reader because I know what it feels like to find a good fic and then get a little down because the description of the reader isn't you, it's somebody else lol.

Also I'm playing around with formatting so if things look different it's cause I'm experimenting 😋

Medic & Teen Reader that is his little clone - Headcannons (Platonic)

Warning : Mentions of human experimentation

At first, he has no damn clue what to do with this kid he created by cloning himself.

To be honest, he had no idea that his kooky experiment would actually work that well. He didn't think you'd make it to 3-years-old, let alone your mid teenage years.

Whatever, either way you'd have a scalpel in your hands by age 6. He's not mentally sound enough to raise a child but he's going to try his best and you love him for it.

During yours and Medic's time at Mann Co, everything got like, a lot weirder. I mean, hanging around a group of crazy dudes all trying to make a living isn't normal, and that's without even looking Merasmus' way 💀

Medic would encourage you to watch him experiment on his teammates and would point things out like organs or other specific parts of the body, and he'd quiz you about it later, wanting to see if you'll be able to keep up with him when you inevitably become a medic yourself (He hopes)

Yeah, unlike most of the mercs, Medic would want you to go down his path, the path of, "Medicinal study," whether it's more on the illegal side or the legal one. He'd keep teaching you even if you told him you weren't interested.

I don't know, he just strikes me as the kind of dad that wants his kid to follow loosely in his footsteps.

Heavy would most likely refer to you as, "Little doctor," or something along those lines because he sees you the most out of all of the mercs as he probably visits Medic more than the others.

Being Medic's kid at this time would also mean that you are required to attend Pyro's tea parties. I don't care what anybody says, you are obligated to attend and be their buddy.

Medic tries to keep you out of Pyro's sight but it's too late, Pyro has already declared you as their new best friend and will menacingly glare at Medic until he let's you play hide and seek with them.

Being his kid and clone would also probably mean that Archimedes and the other doves probably go to you for comfort and love because you remind them so much of Medic.

Medic would treat you almost like an experiment for the first few years until he develops an attachment and fatherly love for you, his dearest creation.

He's never really felt an attachment like that so he'd definitely study that too. You're one big experiment that he grows to love spending time with and adore. He is so proud of how far you've come, he might even start showing you off to the other mercs, bragging about how cool his kid is.

[blubushie]

I like the tf2 fandom for the most part, but as someone who likes ScoutPauling, I get nervous about reblogging stuff of them because of how people argue over Miss Pauling's sexuality. I don't doubt that she might like women but why would she agree to a second date with Scout in Expiration Date if she wasn't at least somewhat interested? So yeah, agree with your hc of her possibly being bi or pan.

Also agree with the Pyro thing. Nothing against headcanons, they can be fun! But like how people see Pyro as nonbinary for one reason or another, I see him as a guy who is just somewhat non-conforming, which, as a woman who's gotten flack for being less than stereotypically girly, is comforting. And we really don't know who or what Pyro is, gender or species-wise! So why is my headcanon lesser than anyone else's?

Sorry for the ramble, it's just nice to know someone else gets it.

No you're so right and that's also why I ship ScoutPauling. She agreed to a second date with him and outright started helping him plan when this second date could be WHILE SHE'S WORKING which. C'mon it's Miss Pauling, there's not a chance she would entertain the idea of making a workday into a date unless she was reciprocating. Pauling is not someone who has friends.

As for Pyro, I don't know and I don't really care. Canonically Pyro uses he/him pronouns, so that's what I refer to him as. Whether he's a he/him lesbian, or just really butch, or a man, or a he/him enby, I really don't care and it really doesn't matter to me since what's UNDER the suit is of little concern to me. As far as I'm concerned the suit IS Pyro. The Mercs call him he, Miss Pauling calls him he, he's also got a flower purse in his locker. Maybe he just likes the way he/him sounds and is a cis chick, maybe he's a man who's effeminate/GNC, maybe he's a fucken alien who just presumes male is the default of the human species cuz we call them cattlemen and not cattlepeople. I really don't know, I really don't care lol