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taylorsv3rsion13 · 1 year ago

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we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

words : 2.7k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

Every year since we were little kids we would celebrate mine and Belly's birthday. We were born on the same day, but a year apart. And it seemed to make us closer. Susannah would decorate the house and Laurel would make us pancakes every year and Conrad would draw a sun with syrup all over my pancakes. It was like a holiday for us.

"Happy birthday, sweetie!" My mom said over the phone as I was calling her.

"Thank you." I said, smiling.

"Okay, I won't keep you away for long, I know you're waiting for your pancakes." She laughed through the phone.

"Bye, love you!"

"Love you too."

I finished getting ready, putting on all of the makeup and jewelry I needed.

My outfit was normal, just wearing a teal tank top and a green cargo mini skirt.

As soon as I came out of the room Belly did too.

"You're looking hot." I said to her as we made our way down the stairs. She was wearing a floral patterned birthday dress.

"Morning!" We shouted in sync as we came into the kitchen.

Steven and Laurel were making pancakes, Jeremiah and Susannah were decorating, and Conrad looked like he didn't want to be there.

There were various smiles with "hey" and "Happy birthday!"

Susannah came to us first, hugging us, "There are the birthday twins!" She exclaimed.

Jeremiah hugged Belly as Steven hugged me, "Happy birthday." They both said to us before swapping.

"Belly Button's getting old finally!" I exclaimed as I gave her sixteen punches on the arm.

She was quick to return, hitting me even harder seventeen times as I screamed around the kitchen.

Laurel raised an eyebrow at us before giving us a group hug, "Happy birthday, beautiful girls."

"Did you call your mom?" Susannah asked as she plated some fruit.

"Yes, she was the first person I talked to."

"Your Minnie and Mickey Mouse pancakes are ready." Laurel smiled.

Belly looked at her mom for a moment, "I'm actually not that hungry..."

I looked at Laurel, "I'll take a pancake or two."

"Okay, how about presents?" Susannah asked.

"You're going to love mine." Jeremiah said, yet I don't know who he was talking to.

Conrad didn't say anything, eating his cereal in peace. He ignored me, but did wave hello to Belly.

Belly opened her present from her mom first. It was a beautiful book.

"It's a first edition. I got it from a rare book dealer." Laurel smiled.

We all noticed how Belly didn't have much emotion with the book, "Turn to the bookmarked page."

"That's the poem Susannah would repeat to us." I said, reading the page.

I grabbed the present that she had given me. I unwrapped it to reveal the most gorgeous cover I've ever seen on a book. It was Little Women.

"Oh, wow." I said, looking through the pages.

"Your mom said it reminded you of home."

I looked up to Laurel, "Thank you so much."

"Girls, open mine now!" Susannah squealed as she handed us our gifts.

Belly revealed a black velvet box, while I had a white one.

She opened hers, and a pearl bracelet was inside.

"Oh, wow." Belly exclaimed.

"These were pearls that my mom gave me for my sweet 16. Now Y/N, open yours."

I opened the box and there was a gorgeous pearl necklace.

"Those were also from my mom. She gave them to me when I was a debutante." She smiled as she admired Belly and I.

"Oh Y/N, I have another gift for you." Susannah said.

I looked at her, puzzled on why I would have two?

She handed me another box, this time it was a velvet red. I opened it and there was a golden chain with a sun in the middle. I immediately recognized it as a matching necklace, needing a moon on the other side.

"Isn't there supposed to be a moon as well?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, maybe someone else has it." Susannah shrugged. "I just thought it reminded me of you."

Jeremiah jumped up, "Ooh! I'm next."

He handed us his somewhat neatly wrapped gift.

Belly was given a charm in the shape of a key.

"It's for good luck. So you can pass your drivers test." Jeremiah smiled.

I opened mine revealing a golden bracelet with a heart charm.

"Thank you so much, Jere." I smiled.

"Think fast Y/N!" Steven said as he threw a present at me. He also threw one at Belly. "Open them at the same time!" He urgred.

We both ripped through the package, opening and unfolding a Princeton crewneck.

"Oh my god you actually got in!" I exclaimed as I ran to hug him.

"No, not yet." He smiled.

Laurel looked at Steven, "I didn't know you were still considering Princeton?"

"Well I'll probably get scholarships and Dad said I could get some financial aid." Steven explained.

The room got silent and tension was high.

"Uh Conrad, do you have a present for Belly and Y/N?" Susannah asked.

He passed Belly a black velvet bag. She opened it, taking out a silver infinity necklace.

His attention then turned to me, "Sorry, I forgot."

"Oh yeah, don't worry, it's cool. I wasn't expecting much anyway." I smiled, trying to actually hide how I felt.

It did hurt. He remembered Belly's birthday, yet he couldn't even remember mine. Which was the same day.

There was a lot of tension in in the room as everyone looked at each other.

"Uhm, so I have to go. I promised Cleveland that I'd show him some knots today."

I watched as he got up from his seat and left. I didn't want it to affect me, but it really did.

"Happy birthday Y/N, and Belly." He said.

"Why don't we go practice driving?" I asked Belly, trying to take my mind off of things. "So you can drive us to get Taylor as well."

She squealed excitedly, "Yes!"

I got up from my seat, heading over to go out the front.

"Hey Y/N?" Susannah called out.

I turned to her, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Of course I am." I smiled reassuringly.

I sat in the passenger seat while Jeremiah sat in the back.

She made a sharp right and we all went flying.

"Whoops." She laughed.

"Dear god, Bells." I said as I held onto anything I could grab on to.

The bus pulled up as we stood there, waiting for Taylor to come out.

"You excited, Bells?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, but I could tell there was a part of her that wasn't excited.

"Twenty-bucks she's gonna call Jere, Jeremy." I said.

The girl emerged from the bus holding a handful of balloons and a bag.

"Oh, my god!" Taylor exclaimed as her and Belly ran to each other.

"Taylor!" I said as I ran to hug her.

"Here, let me take that for you." Jeremiah said as he took her bags.

Taylor smiled looking up at Jeremiah, "Thank you, Jeremy."

I laughed at Jeremiah as he just stood there smiling.

"So, should we head home?" Jeremiah suggested.

"Ooh, actually, let's make a stop first." Taylor said, making eye contact with Belly and I.

We sat under an umbrella as Jeremiah placed down a banana split with three spoons for us.

Taylor dug in first, "I would literally eat this every day if I could."

She also pulled out a gift for Belly. And another for me.

"Oh wow, these are cute." I said as I opened my present, revealing a blue bikini.

"I know right, it's hot." She said.

Belly opened hers and it was a white bikini.

"Y/N?" Taylor called out as we hung out in the pool.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Where's Conrad?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know." I shrugged, swimming over to Jeremiah and Steven.

After a couple of minutes in out own little groups, Taylor suggested to play chicken, which we all agreed to.

"Dibs on Jeremy." Taylor smiled as she made her way to Jeremiah

"Oh, great, that means I'm stuck with Steven." Belly said sadly.

"Wait, what about Y/N?" Jeremiah asked.

Belly looked at me, "Oh, do you want to go on Steven?"

"No it's fine, you guys can play." I said.

There was a few complaints from Belly and Steven about being each others partners, so Taylor and Belly switched.

"Okay, three, two, one, go!" I yelled as they began fighting in the water.

The fight lasted less than a minute with Taylor and Steven falling into the water.

"Woo!" Jeremiah and Belly exclaimed in excitement. I gave them both a high five.

On the other hand, Steven and Taylor were bickering about who's fault it was that they lost.

"Hey guys!" A familiar voice said.

I turned my head around and Nicole was walking through with Conrad.

"Hey, Nicole!" I said.

"Hi. Happy Birthday you two." She said. "Are you guys playing.. chicken?"

"Yeah, it was Taylor's idea." Belly said.

"Hey, I'm Taylor." Taylor said from behind Belly.

Belly smiled, "She's my best friend from home."

"Yeah, I'm just visiting for the weekend." Taylor added.

"Oh, that's cute." Nicole said.

"Do you guys wanna play a real game?" I asked.

Everyone in the pool said yes.

Jeremiah had helped me set up the net and then the games began. I was on the girls side and Nicole and Conrad sat on the edge of the pool, dipping their feet in the water.

The boys groaned 'No!' as us girls cheered for our point.

We did a couple more rounds, as we all laughed a lot. This was definitely one of my favorite summers. Being with everyone, like nothing ever happened.

"You're not ready." Taylor smirked to Steven.

"You're on."

Taylor hit the ball, and it swerved, hitting Nicole in the head.

"Ow." Nicole said.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Steven said through in-between awkward laughs.

"Taylor." Belly said sternly before turning back to Nicole, "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. You guys keeping playing." Nicole said to us.

"Feel better Nicole!" I said as she began walking back into the house with Conrad.

Conrad stopped in his tracks, just looking down at me.

"Have fun playing." He said.

Dinner was just as I'd imagined. It was gorgeous and vibrant.

Susannah had made the girls all flower crowns as well, for Midsommar.

I sat in between Jeremiah and Conrad again, but we added another chair next to Belly, because Cam Cameron was here!

Throughout the dinner, Jeremiah kept question Cameron, making fun of him almost.

Somehow Jeremiah got on the talk about kissing dead animals and then kissing Cameron, which made me kick him hard in the shin.

"Ow." He exclaimed.

"Oh shut up."

"I don't mind at all, in fact-" Cameron said as he kissed Belly on the lips.

I'm not even joking. All of our mouths fell open.

From beside me, Steven and Jeremiah both pretended to retch.

"If you guys don't shut up." I said loudly over their obnoxious noises.

It got into our embarrassing moments throughout our childhood at the Fishers as well, but Conrad stayed silent the whole time.

"Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should go out to Nicole's party?" I asked

"Yes!" Taylor and Belly exclaimed at the same time.

Conrad's eyes met mine for a second before dropping. He didn't seem happy with what I said.

I laid on Belly's bed, staring up at the cieling.

"I think Conrad still hates me." I stated.

Taylor and Belly turned to look at me.

"Why would you say that?" Belly asked.

'I don't know. When I brought up Nicole's' party, he just seemed to go quieter than normal.

Taylor laughed a little, "It's fine Y/N. He's just a dumb boy either way."

I sighed knowing she was right.

"Look at us," Taylor said as we looked in the mirror, "We're hot ass bitches."

She was in the hot pink mini dress, Belly was in a knit crochet top with beige pants, and I was in a halter white and blue top with jeans.

As soon as we walked into the party, a man came down the stair banister, wooing.

And then to the right of the house was what I'm guessing was a dining room. Lot's and lot's of cakes and desserts with 17 and 16 candles.

"Y/N, you guys came!" Nicole's voice said as she made her way through people.

I laughed a little, "Hi, Nicole! You look gorgeous." I said, hugging her.

"Me? Look at you. You look like a goddess."

Nicole lead us through the house and they followed behind. Well everyone but Taylor. She had decided to find a drink for herself.

"Guys, look who's here." Nicole said to the girls.

Nicole began lighting the candles.

"Is this for us?" Belly asked.

"Who else would it be for, Belly?" Nicole asked with a smile.

"Thank you, guys." Belly and I both had said.

"Okay, well, girls, make a wish." Nicole motioned towards the two cakes.

The topic with the group got onto Conrad and how he was.

"He's not talking to anyone else. He's usually just to himself." I said

"Okay well new topic." Nicole said, not wanting to talk about Conrad, "Have you asked anyone to the ball"

"Oh, no. I'm waiting for the right person." I said, giving Nicole a smile.

I looked past Gigi who was saying something to Belly about asking Cam to the ball. Anywho, past Gigi was Conrad. He was messing with his hair and he was laughing and smiling.

I couldn't even lie. He was attractive.

He made eye contact with me as he drank a large part of his beer.

I couldn't like him again though. But there was part of me that knew it could happen again. Susannah told me to believe in second chances.

I don't know what happened really. I was just watching the boys play their little ping pong drinking game and then Belly came out all mad.

"Hey, can we leave?" Belly asked Cameron.

"Oh yeah, yeah." Cameron said.

"Y/N, you need a ride home? I don't want to take you away from the party." Belly said.

"It's fine. I'll give her a ride home." Conrad jumped in.

I looked at him questioningly, but he didn't look back.

"See you later, Bells!" I called out to her as she began to leave.

Jeremiah looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Fill in for Cam Cameron please."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him, "Fine, scooch over."

After an hour or so, we all were ready to leave. By now I was drunker then I probably should've been. So drunk that Conrad had to help me to the car and into the car.

He sat in the drivers seat as I just stared at him.

"You're like the moon to my sun." I sighed, touching his hair.

He grabbed onto my hand, putting it back into my lap.

"Y/N, you're drunk." He said to me.

"Noo, you're drunk." I said to him, booping his nose.

I came down stairs the next morning. Jeremiah already in the kitchen, mixing himself up one of his smoothies.

"Hit me." I said to him as I groaned and propped my head on the table with my arm.

He laughed, splitting his smoothie with me.

"You drank a lot last night for such a small girl."

"I shouldn't have." I said, gulping down a large amount of the drink.

Belly came down the stairs soon, grabbing the box of cereal and pouring some in her mouth.

"I'm guessing you and tay-tay haven't made up yet?" I asked.

"No." Belly said with no emotion.

At the party, Steven and Taylor were making out and then Belly had walked in.

"You guys want to do a muffin run?" I asked.

"I'm always up for a muffin run." Jeremiah smiled. Belly also agreed.

"Can you get the keys from Conrad's room? Jeremiah asked.

I nodded, "Yeah sure. Is he home?"

"No, he dropped you off at home and then spent the night at Nicole's" Jeremiah explained.

"Oh um." I stammered, "Do you know where he keeps the keys?"

"Uh, they should be in his desk." Jeremiah said.

I never really was in Conrad's room often. But it didn't look much different than the last time I had seen it. It was obviously boat themed which was cute.

His drawers were messy inside. Nothing was organized and there were like 5 condoms.

There was also a black velvet pouch which I took out. Yes, I'm nosy, but I wanted to know what was inside.

I opened it and saw a moon bracelet.

I put the bracelet charm against my sun charm and it fit perfectly. What the hell was wrong with him?

When we went home, I drove Belly and Taylor to the bus stop.

I sat in the car with Belly as we watched Taylor wait in line for the bus.

"You're not going to say goodbye?" I asked her skeptically.

"I don't want to talk to her." Belly said, not making eye contact with me.

"Come on Belly, she's your best friend. She loves you, especially if she came out here just for your birthday."

Belly sighed, "Fine."

Once she came back in, she seemed mad, but I didn't care.

"I know i'm only a year older than you, but just take my wisdom for once." I joked, "Boys might come and go, but your best friend is once in a lifetime. You're lucky you have someone like Taylor. We never know what the future will hold, so you have to hold tight to that relationship."

Friends come and go. Boys come and go. But best friends stay. They're real. That's what I loved about the Fishers and Conklins. They were my best friends and they always stayed. Every single year.

#conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #conrad x y/n #tsitp #belly conklin #conrad fisher #steven conklin #taylor jewel #susannah beck #susannah fisher #laurel conklin #summer #tsitp season 1 #tsitp season 2

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themultifandomgal · 2 years ago

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Shelby Sister- Teenage Years

13 Years Old

After Grace passed away YN watched her older brother struggle with juggling the business, Charles and her. She tries to keep out of Tommys way, which isn't to hard because he's always in his office. But one of her best memories is Charles 5th birthday. Tommy had invited all of the Shelby's over and for the first time in so long YN was surrounded by her family.

"Happy birthday Charlie boy" Arthur shouts ruffling the little boys hair. He makes his way over to his youngest sibling who is sat with Finn and Micheal playing cards

"Ha I've won" Finn shouts taking the cards from his sister

"Oi Finn your 17. Don't be a child" Arthur scolds making YN and Micheal laugh. Arthur sits next to YN and takes the cards from Finn "I'll help ya"

Tommy, for the first time in what feels like forever, smiles watching his family all together and for YN this is the happiest she's felt since before her brothers left for war.

14 Years Old

Although YN was getting older she was still a kid at heart, but since Finn turned 18 he no longer had time for his baby sister. He was at the pub with his friends more and more. Arthur had his wife and daughter, Ada had Karl, Tommy was busy with the business and now Micheal had married someone who everyone despised... even Linda didn't like her. Her brothers weren't as close as they once were and she noticed that. Thankfully she had her nephew and niece, Charles and Ruby. Yes the were younger than her, but she played with them and told them stories about when their dad would play with her when she was their age

"Why doesn't dad chase me around?" Ruby asks her aunt

"He never used to be so busy. It was just me Arthur, John, Ada, Finn and your dad living with Aunt Poll. We only had the betting shop to worry about back then" YN looks down at her hands sadly

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes. I don't miss it just being us because else I wouldn't be an auntie. But I miss us all living together in that small house in Small Heath. I miss being a kid and having my brothers playing with me. Promise me you two will stay close. Forever"

"We promise" Ruby smiles at her aunt. Little did YN know her big brother was listening.

16 Years Old

At 16 years old YN started getting interested in boys. She had been dating a boy she met at school named James. However she has been keeping this a secret from her family because they are so protective of her.

Things had been going well until she found out that James was courting not only YN but 2 other girls.

Arriving home from school YN tries to avoid Tommy and Lizzie who are sat on the sofa reading

"YN?" she hears Lizzie but runs up the stairs not wanting to face anyone. Shutting her bedroom door she gets into her and let's the tears roll. Her bedroom door swings open and there's Tommy walking in with a cigarette handing out his mouth

"What's happened?" Tommy grunts sitting one the chair beside her bed

"Nothing. It's fine"

"It's not fine because my little sister is lying in her bed crying. So what's happened?" Tommy asks again but this time irritation laced in his voice. Sitting up YN wipes the tears from her eyes then looks up at her brother

"Promise you won't go mad and blind someone"

"Can't promise anything. Spill" YN takes in a deep breath then tells her brother her secret. Instead of her brother leaving in a rage he pulls his youngest sibling into his arms and holds her close telling her everything will be ok.

18 Years Old

After her last attempt to have a boyfriend, Tommy instructed Isaiah to keep an eye on YN. Being 5 years older than his baby sister, who no longer is a baby, Tommy thought that neither would have eyes for one another. However after 6 months of Isiah following YN around they both developed feelings for one another. After a year of courting they decided it was about time they come clean with the Shelby family. A meeting was held at the Garrison where Isaiah would have to face the Shelby brothers, Ada and aunt Poll

"I told you to keep an eye on her not warm her fucking bed" Tommy shouts standing up from his seat

"Tom..." YN's little voice tries to speak

"Your 5 years older than her" Tommy points to Isaiah who looks sheepish "she's 18 for fucks sake"

"5 years isn't that bad Tommy" Ada tries to defend her sister. YN gives her a thankful smile "Freddie and I had a larger age gap"

"Yeah and look how that turned out" Arthur grunts

"Well YN could have done worse. At least she's seeing someone we already know" Finn shrugs his shoulders not really wanting to have this conversation

"Are you happy?" John asks

"Very" YN tells him

"And you" johns attention now moves to Isaiah "you'll look after her. Keep her safe?"

"Of course"

"Then I guess this is fine. But hands stay above hips"

"John" YN whines feeling a little embarrassed

"And no sex" Tommy adds earring an eye roll from Polly, YN and Ada. Tommy walks over to his sister and Isaiah. Giving her a kiss on the forehead before leaning down and threatening Isaiah "don't hurt her or I'll have to blind you"

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #sister shelby #shelby sister #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #ada shelby

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pomstr4wberr · 1 year ago

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✦. ⊹ ˚ .꒰୧ ‧₊˚ 🍫 ꒰ WHY DO I MISS YOU?!♡ ⌎ ˊᗜˋ

୧ ‧₊˚ ✨️ ꒰ angst ꒱♡ ⌎ ˊᗜˋ dark content

✦. ⊹ ‧₊˚ 💓 ꒰ GN reader - you/your . ꒱ᗜˋ

✦. ⊹ ˚ .꒰୧ ‧₊˚ 🩹 Male Oc X gn reader

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍼 ꒰TW: DARK CONTENT, Pedophilia, grooming, trauma response, family issues, abusive family, mention of attempted r8pe but it doesn't happen here.

NOTE: DARK CONTENT !! The trauma response is based off my mine, be warned this is dark.

TRAUMA RESPONSE ::

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, r8pe, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. Trauma response can be different for people for me I miss them[a trauma response that some people might have]

Please be warned if these topics trigger you! If this triggers you or bugs, you ignore!

THE FAMILIAR room stings your eyes. Blurry around the edges of your eyes like an old picture.

The writing of paper fulls your ears. It's the only thing you can hear. Your thoart feels dry, and it hurts. You don't have enough saliva to swallow.

He hums a tune, you remember, but at the same time, it's like you dont know the tune. You can't say a word, he coughs and you can a hear a chair moving it makes a thud noise.

He turns at you smiling, his smile is so familiar. The smile burns into your memory,

"Sorry for ignoring you, mx yn. You weren't scheduled for today, it must be important." He says, he pushes his glasses back up his nose, you can't say a word.

But you managed to say it, "Mr. Ito, I have came here to ask you something..." your words get quieter at the end of your words. He has a facial expression of confusion but he nods his head.

"Okay, mx yn tell your question." He puts down his pen and pushes his chair a bit closer. You get nervous, your face heats up a bit you swallow.

You close your fist hard, you can feel paper against your skin. You think if you still squeezing hard it can cutting your skin.

"Wo-would you look to s-see a movie with me?.." You managed to say out, you slowly let go of your fist,

"A movie?" He cocks his head to his side in confusion, you nod your head. A movie ticket tow of course. You saved up money in your cute pink piggy bank it had big cute doe eyes.

"Ah yes," you show him the movie tickets it was a romance comedy one. He takes once looking at it, smiling. His smiling face makes you blush.

"Okay, then let's watch. I could have a break." You smiled, he got up and helped you. His hands holding your hands you wished that lasted forever.

Sometimes you wished he had feelings for you like you did had for him maybe he did? But he would be getting in trouble for dating or having romantic feelings for some one young as you. Even though it can't be that bad right?

your old enough right? 16 isn't bad, your old enough.

You heard your parent's In arguing it isn’t new, but you heard a loud slap and crying. Normally you would go out and help your mom but you couldn't be late or he's going to disappointed in you.

And you were going to waste money if you didn't go and what happen if some other person would go up to him and watch the movie with him?!

You sneaked out, the cold breeze hits you, it gave you goosebumps.

You saw him outside, you couldn't help but smile. You yelled his name, he looked up and smiled waving at you, you waved excitedly.

You guys both got in, you couldn't focus on the movie it was like a blur to you. You wanted to puke to out of happiness because of Mr. Ito being so close to you.

You breathe in and out, it was like nobody else was in there just you and him. You slowly lean into his shoulder.

You blushed and after that everything was a blur, it was like you were floating above the clouds.

After that day, he distanced himself from you, Why?

He explained it was because you were doing good. You weren't on his list anymore why could this happen?

You soon found out that a teacher named Ms. Miyaki, a teacher who teached the freshmen. Why could she have done this?!

You remember walking up to her asking her why, she explained that it was wrong and that Mr. Ito would go to jail.

Harsh knocking is heard.

"Ito you can't do this to a child!" A female voice is heard on the other side of the door.

"Ms. Miyaki, you don't have to knock so harshly."

The female looked mad,

"Ito! You are having a romantic relationship with a sixteen year old." She yelled at his face clearly mad.

"Ms miyaki, they are old enough to make this decision. Their not a kid anymore" he explains.

"Ito that is no excuse for what you did! They are still sixteen!" She gets more mad.

You clench your fist this is all her fault. You felt more depressed than ever, you felt Angier towards her.

You did something to her but she survived, luckily she didn't know if was you but she thought it was your "lovely lover".

He was soon put in jail for pedophilia, attempted murder and attempted r8pe.

Attempted r8pe? Apparently she thought that he took advantage of you, that didn't happen the attempt murder was you.

You felt weird, you were suppose to get rid of her then run away with him. But he's in jail and it was all your fault.

Your noise hurts, the smell of smoke gives you a headache. The abandoned school which is now a place of rebellious teens. Smoking and graffiti on the walls.

There's mold and leaves on the school, you made it inside though a broken window. You made it to Mr ito's old room, the room you would be in before the addicted you caused happen and before he left you.

You sat down, breathing in and out. It reminded you of the old times. You clench your fist, whispering to yourself.

You held yourself like what he did before you left after the movie. He whispered in your ear, kissing you.

You wish that you could live in that moment forever.

Why am I like this?

Why do I miss you?

Why do I want you back?

Why why? You did gross things but at the same time you want him back.

Why do I miss you please tell me. I want to be fixed, I don't want to be like this anymore.

Why why do I miss you?

#StrawpomsWriting #original work #oc x reader #gender neutral reader #tw.grooming #tw.trauma response #tw.pedophilia #male oc x reader #tw. teacher/councilor x student/paitent relationship #tw. trauma #triggering topics #dark content #Strawpomsdark

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years ago

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The Night Screams at The Slumber Island (Loki x Female Reader) (Horror Romance) (Dark) (Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 15 here //Series Masterlist

Chapter 16

Summary : Loki isn't afraid to suffer for you

Warning: Steamy stuff, 18+, discussion of rape, discussion of threesomes and poly relationships, sexual abuse, gaslighting, cheating, mention of Suicide, discussion of mental illness, therapy, imprisonment, god kink has a potential here, please read carefully. If something triggers you please don’t read it

"What made you come here, mother" Loki smiled as he spoke, but the smile was less from the happiness of seeing her and more from disdain. His mother, Frigga walked towards him and leaned down to caress his head, she never wanted her child to ever see this place.

"You weren't responding to my calls, my child?" Loki snickered as he grabbed her hand and pushed them away from him very gently.

"You got what you wanted, I am banished from Asgard and for your sake I'm willing to spend years here just so someday I could home to you again, what else do you want me to do?" She got visibly upset as he said that.

"I never wanted this Loki. Will you ever take responsibility for your crime? For breaking the order?" She snapped at him as she stepped away, her heart broke, seeing her child all chained up and in such darkness, all lonely. She never wanted this.

"Breaking the order? I saved a mortal's life, all this power and for what?" He snickered before he continued to speak, he was so angry and disappointed from his own kind, his own people "Those foolish people down there worship us and what do we do? We ignore their pleas and pretend to be otherworldly just so our existence will remain spiritual, so they will never know that we are just like them. The only difference is they do not possess the longer life, they don't have the immense power but everything else is the same, they lie, they cheat, they murder, they watch innocent people get hurt and do absolutely nothing. Just like us"

Frigga's eyes teared up, if Loki would decide that he didn't want to go through the punishment he'd forever be exiled from Asgard and he could never get home again, he couldn't have survived on earth either for a long time because the moment he decides to reveal his identity to more of them mortals, he'll be stripped off his godly status and taken away for execution.

"What is so special about this mortal that you're willing to lose everything here? I know you visit her now and then, you know that is only making the punishment longer" She raised her voice and he nodded,

"She needs me mother, I gave her my word, and I am not going to betray her, I would leave this place whenever she'd truly need me but do not worry, I will come back here and spend my due time in solidarity, you want me to come home? I will" He said to her and she sighed.

"The more you visit earth to see her the longer you'll have to be here, why don't you understand that?" Her eyes teared up as she spoke and it did hurt him but there was nothing he could have done to console her. If Loki would have spent a few constant years in this confined space and finished his sentence, he would have been released soon, but he decided to revolt instead, he went to you whenever you needed him because he promised to be there and he won't allow you to suffer anymore by the hands of other mortals even though he very well knew that the more time he spend with you, his cruel punishment will only extend here, but he didn't care now. He was willing to take the risk.

"I do understand that, I understand it really well but I'm not going to leave her alone, to answer your question, there's nothing special about her, she's not any different from most of the mortals but.." his eyes teared up and he took a deep breath before he spoke again. She's mine. That's what he wanted to say but he did not, nobody needed to know how deeply he has come to feel for you "She is kind mother, her fate continued to bring her down but enough is enough, if I am able to keep one sweet mortal protected under my care all her life then I would die happily, that feeling would be much more fulfilling than my life on Asgard could ever be"

Frigga wiped her tears, she had truly lost her son, Odin and Thor asked her to not come here but she wanted to convince him one more time.

"You could have just brought the mortal to Asgard like Thor did"

"Bring her against her will to an alien planet? Of course mother, not that it would have been absolutely barbaric of me to do so"

"It's not cruel for a god to choose a mortal, it's our birthright and it is nothing short of blessing for those vain mortals"

Loki chuckled as he heard that, he very well knew that gods treated their one mortal pass as an exotic sex toy and nothing more. They were not allowed to tell anyone about their godly status so lies, deceit and plain brute force were used to bring them to Asgard.

"We are not allowed to tell them anything, remember? You know how Thor got himself one"

"So what? he gave Trisha a good life on Asgard for as long as he needed her"

"And then she was thrown into a cell somewhere as she got older, isn't that right mother? Chipped away slowly until the end of her time" Loki yelled at her and she sighed.

"You could not have wished for him to form a union with her" She tried to reason with him even though she knew she could never change his mind, he always was different from the rest of them.

"Why not mother? She was lovely and you know fairly well that we both possess the power to give them a long healthy life just like us then why not?"

"Because they are beneath us Loki, they will always be"

"Fair enough mother, now that you are done, I would like to be left alone" her eyes teared up more at his indifference.

"Have you fallen in love with her, Loki? That mortal of yours?" She asked him curiously and his eyes teared up too as he thought about you. He spent all his day for the moments he'd get to see you and be close to you, he very well knew the feeling and what it meant, but his mother had lost the right to know him so deeply now. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to go through this punishment any longer for her but did he have any other choice?

"You cannot survive with her Loki, you know once you reveal who you are to more mortals such as hers, we will come for you and we will take your life to preserve ourselves. Do you think she would be able to keep a secret like that? Do you think she'd choose to live with you in solidarity and leave behind everything? She will never do that"

Next morning you woke up late, your alarm didn't ring for some reason and it frustrated you, the ferry was about to leave in 10 minutes and you saw James on the couch sleeping,

"Wakeee up" he fell down the couch as he heard you yelling, he looked at the time and he knew he was going to miss the ferry. And he wasn't wrong.

After half an hour he came back and you couldn't have been angrier, you just wanted him to leave this place and be done with him, you also missed Loki and you craved his touch, you missed his face and his voice, you felt as if it has been ages since you had seen him last, even though it was just yesterday.

You couldn't help but wonder where he was and where he went to whenever he disappeared. In the past month you never asked him how he was doing and whether he felt okay, it was always about you. You called the school and told Clint you won't be able to come as you felt sick, talking to him made your stomach twist but you had to pretend as if you still didn't remember anything. They can't know just yet.

While James was in the bathroom you prepared breakfast and as you were making tea, you missed Loki again.

"Lokiiiii" you whispered his name but you didn't see him around and then something clicked.

"I need you please" You felt a presence next to you as you said that, it was hard to miss, he had his back against the counter, his arms were crossed and he had a smile on his face, you turned your head to the side to look at him and your eyes teared up. You have truly missed him.

"Can you see me even when you're not here?" You whispered in a hushed tone, you didn't want James to hear you even though he was in the bedroom's bathroom.

"If you want me to, I can, I wouldn't want to disrupt your privacy" he whispered softly and it made you smile.

"I have missed you" you confessed to him and his eyes teared up..

"I felt the same darling" he grabbed your small dainty fingers and you felt his thumb rubbing over your skin softly, the touch fired you up and you wished you could have kissed him and done more, you really wanted to.

"He's still here"

"I know..it's Monday, no evening ferry I assume"

You nodded as he said that, There was no ferry from the island to the mainland on Monday's so you knew James will have to be here tonight as well.

"You smell good" you smiled as you slipped your fingers away so you could pour the tea in the cup.

"Thank you, so do you" he was glad you said that, he cleaned himself up always before he visited you, in the beginning when he was living in the house next to you, house that he had made, he had enjoyed the showers, he enjoyed it more than baths. They didn't have showers in Asgard.

You passed him the cup so he sipped on it quickly but then he gave it back to you, James was about to come out soon and he could sense that.

"When can I see you again lo" you placed the cup to the side and grabbed the front of his shirt to pull him closer, he gasped at the sudden closeness, you weren't the only one missing him when he was away, he felt the same all the time, he cupped your cheeks and tilted his head down to reach your level, his lips were so close so you wanted to kiss him but he continued to pull away a little everytime you leaned into him. He also loved the little pet name you had given him.

"Whenever you need me, I'll be here my love, whenever and however you need me, just call out to me" he whispered softly and his voice sent tingles down your spine, you haven't felt such electricity in a long time, it's been years, it was there in the beginning of your relationship with James but it didn't last for long.

"I'll pray to you Loki..I'll pray to you God but I want you to know that–" his lips latched onto yours before you could finish your words, there was nothing more he wanted than to have you as his, to have you belong to him but it seemed impossible, not with the conditions he had to live with now and he wasn't sure if you wanted to be with him forever just yet, you didn't know him that well.

"I have to go, he's coming, keep me in your thoughts" he pecked your lips softly before he disappeared, you sighed in disappointment, a faint smell of his cologne still lingered in the air and it made you want to clutch onto him again. You wanted to tell him that you'd be there for him too if he needed you, you knew there was nothing you could have done but be there for him, he was a god, he didn't need your help but you wondered if he was alone and needed your company as much as you did his?

As James stepped into the living room you glared at him, he was supposed to be gone.

"Look you didn't wake me up either so it's your fault too, just saying" you rolled your eyes at him and put down the breakfast on the table in front of the kitchen.

"Who's shirt is that on your bed? Looks like it belongs to a man" He asked you as he munched onto the omelet you had made.

"It's none of your business?" Your voice had a sassy tone to it so he smiled.

"Was just curious, I'd be happy to learn you're opening up again after..you know " you glared at him so he looked away but he couldn't stay quiet for long, for some reason he was extremely chatty, as if that would make you forget what he had done.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked you so you hummed in response.

"Don't you feel scared here, all alone at night, especially after ..you know..what happened with Nat" you sighed as he said that, yo didn't think you would have survived this place without your own special guardian angel.

"I do feel scared but it is what it is"

"Why do you still want to be here now that you remember everything?"

"I like the quiet and peace, stop asking questions please"

Can you see me? I wish you could see me Loki. You mumbled in your head and then you felt his intoxicating smell lingering around you. James did too. You could tell by his expression but you were glad he didn't ask any question.

It was unreal how badly you missed his presence, it felt like a torture to be without him, you felt as if you were on a withdrawal of some sorts. At night after dinner, you asked James to set the alarm for 9, you can't have him staying here for one more day. You were about to go to your bedroom when the power went out and it made you both gasp.

"What's happening?" You heard his voice and moved around in the darkness, there was a set of candles somewhere in the living room.

"It happens sometimes, here, try to light up the fire place..it's getting cold anyways" you gave him a candle and a box of matchstick.

"This place is straight out of a horror movie you realize this right?" He said to you and you couldn't disagree, the wind made the continuous howling sounds and it made everything so much worse, you said goodnight to him and went back to your room. The candles made the atmosphere eerier but you didn't feel scared because you knew Loki would be there whenever you need him.

After showering you put the night dress on but you couldn't stay still. You missed him, and you wanted to see him, you wanted to talk to him and you wanted to sleep next to him. But then you started to feel overwhelming, the last thing you wanted to do was drive him away with the constant neediness.

Your eyes fell upon the shirt so you picked it up and walked towards the mirror, your breathing hitched as you looked at yourself, then you pulled the straps of the night dress down your shoulder slowly.

"See me Loki..god see me please, I want you to see" your voice came out all shaky, the action made you feel so naughty but it didn't feel wrong, you wanted him to see you undress and it excited you to know that he might be there watching you. His cologne hit your senses and it made you gasp, was he right behind you? You couldn't tell, you couldn't see him.

Shuddering breaths escaped as you pulled the night dress down slowly and it pooled around your legs, your own reflection stared back at you, since that horrifying incident and the effect of it had killed any desire you had felt for the opposite gender but Loki was different, he wasn't like those men, he was a god and you knew he'd never hurt you like that, you believed in him. You knew you won't be able to go all the way even if you wanted to, you knew something would trigger you and ruin it for you, but this was nice, it felt safe, being able to desire a god who you knew only wanted to keep you safe felt arousing. He also made you feel desirable too.

You put his shirt on slowly, hoping that he was still there watching you adorn his fabric, you could smell him around you still but you weren't sure.

As you laid down in the bed and got under the covers you took a deep breath.

"I am here too Loki, I just want you to know that I'm not selfish, that if you need me I'd be here too, I promise" you mumbled softly, your lids felt heavy as the sleep came for you soon, you haven't felt such peace in a long time and you didn't think it would have been possible without him.

Loki gasped as he returned to the darkness of his reality, the image of you standing half naked was burned in his memory now, you called him, you wanted him to see you like that and he felt blessed, he knew none of this was easy for you and he has been so careful, he didn't want to hurt you more then you have already been hurt.

The sight of your ragged breathing and quivering body made his hand grip his aching hard flesh as he pumped himself up and down slowly, he had never done this before, he used to feel dirty even though he desired every inch of you but you had given him the permission today by showing yourself off for him so brazenly, he wasn't expecting it but norns he'd be lying if he said he wasn't in literal heaven right now, he didn't crave anything anymore but only the burning need to have you on top of him and fill you up slowly with his cock. He wanted to be surrounded by your warmth in every way.

He thought of your plump bosom and your bare skin glowing amidst the candlelights, he pictured you on the bed in his clothes and his hand worked faster, he needed a release, it's been so long and he has been on the edge every time you touched him, kissed him and every time you were on top of him with your hips rolling against him. Then he heard your words as you promised to be there for him, he didn't need it, it wouldn't have changed his feelings for you at all, but they warmed his heart and made him feel wanted too, he felt cared for after a long time.

He cried out your name as the dam broke, a smile formed on his lips as he tried to level his breathing back to normal. He wished he could have been there with you right now, he wished he was sleeping in that warm bed with you instead of this dark lonely cell. He didn't answer when his mother had asked him that question but he wasn't afraid to say it now, he didn't want to deny it either.

"Oh dear mother, to answer your query now, Yes, I have fallen for her, truly and madly"

#loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader smut #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki horror romance #loki alternate universe #dark themes #loki au

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marvelwitchergilmore · 2 years ago

Text

Childhood Crush

Summary; Dean Winchester x Fe!OC -> Dean and Zoey grew up together, they lived across from one another when they were children and their dad's hunted together. But when time begins to move on, and they begin to see each other over and over and over again, will something grow from what they once knew?

Warning; FLUFF, spn hunts, spn level violence, fade to smut, love, swearing, long fic etc.

Dean and Zoey had known each other since they were 2 years old. Of course, she had only been a baby at the time, but same difference.

They lived directly across the street, Dean's bedroom window looked directly across from Zoey's nursery. And, as they both grew up, every night Dean would get out of his bed once Mary and John had tucked him in. Dean would crawl off his bed and kneel on his window bench, open his curtains a little and wave. Zoey couldn't see him, but he did it anyway.

Except, when he was four and she was two...everything changed. John roped Michael - Zoey's dad - into helping him. Both of the men had a fansination with hunting.

The years that followed, Zoey would stay home with her mom until Mike deemed her old enough to come with them. But, even from a young age, she knew that there had to be something better than this. Something better than watching Dean raise Sam, better than watching both boys learn how to handle weapons rather than learn how to solve 5th grade math. Better than...this life. Hunting.

However, as much as she cared for the boys, there was something that always made her closer to Sam. They understood one another. They had their love for school and a normal life in common. Whereas, Zoey and Dean...well...they butted heads more than they got along.

It had started from a young age. How to clean weapons. Who was better in the Scooby-Gang. What life was better.

But there were two key moments both could remember where everything came to a head. The first was when she was 14 and he was 16.

John and Mike had gone out on another hunt and with Zoey's mom out of the country for a business meeting, it meant all three kids were staying at Bobby's.

"And Dean will be training you."

"Training me? Why does he have to train me? I don't need training."

"Yes, you do. And Dean's the best."

Meanwhile, John was giving the same talk to Dean. But rather than talking back, all Dean said was, "Yes, Sir."

But once they finally left, Dean would come to regret underestermating her and everything that he'd known about her.

Bobby watched from the kitchen window, fixing up some grub for them to eat for the night. Sam was sat in the living room with his english homework writing up an essay to do Gullivers Travels.

Every now and again, he looked up to see Dean and Zoey talking. Well, more like...arguing calmly. But after twenty minutes, Bobby cursed loudly, dropped the plate into the kitchen sink and ran outside.

Zoey had been sparring with Dean when all of a sudden, Dean got into a readied stance and Zoey shocked him by running up the side of a car, jumping over his shoulders and within a few moments found himself on the ground with Zoey stood above him, his arm twisted and her foot on his chest.

"Boy, are you okay?" Bobby asked as Zoey eventually let him go. She had to walk away, her rage still rattling her. Bobby helped Dean up from the ground who was just as shocked, if not more, than Bobby.

"What the hell was that?" Bobby asked, turning to look at her.

"That was sparring."

"No, that was nearly killing Dean!"

Zoey looked from Bobby to Dean, making a point of repeating his words back to him. "What? I thought he could handle my 'girly' fighting. Besides, isn't what this is meant to be? Us learning how to defend ourselves against those things out there? Because apparently school work isn't as important."

There was a hammered silence between the three of them. Zoey looked down with her hand on her hips, taking in deep breaths before she finally looked up. "I'm gonna go help Sam with his homework."

Once she was out of ear shot and inside the house, Bobby looked back to Dean and checked him over. He had a small cut on his forehead from where she'd cut him or where he'd fell and cut himself. Zoey had done everything so fast, Dean just really dropped to the floor without any warning.

"I've got a kit upstairs. You know where it is. Go and clean it. Did you know she had that in her?"

Dean just shook his head but soon regretted it because only now did he realise the ammount of pressure that was inside his head.

"No. I didn't even know she could punch as hard as she did."

"She punched you?" Bobby hadn't seen that part.

Dean had to let out a chuckle. If he didn't, he wondered if he might actually cry. "Yeah, earlier. I told her to take a swing at me."

"Did you try and stop it?"

Dean just shrugged at Bobby's question. But he wasn't asking it out of worry, he was asking it because he didn't think Dean was that dumb.

"What? I've never seen her punch anything before. I didn't know she knew how to fight! You didn't!"

"Alright, get inside. Grub's almost done." And as Dean walked away, all Bobby could do was remove his cap, fix his hair before replacing the cap on his head, shake his head and mumble. "Kids."

The second time everything came to a head and when Dean and Zoey came very close to killing one another was when he was 17 and she was only 15.

Zoey had voulenteered to go with Mike and John on the hunting trip. She was done with her mid-terms and Sam had been begging her to go and, if she didn't feel anything else towards his older brother, she would have wanted to go just to see him.

Zoey sometimes wondered if she did harbour a crush on Dean Winchester but then he'd do something that would make her want to kill him, or punch him, or...she didn't know. Embarrass him in front of the girls at school so maybe he'd actually listen to her.

Dean had a habit of that. Not listening to her.

One day, Mike and John had decided to take the kids into the woods to 'train' them again. It was fucked up to Zoey, and secretly to Dean. Dean was okay with doing it himself, but John making Sam do it? Mike roping Zoey into it? No. Absolutley Not.

They'd set up different traps and senarios for them to go around to make sure they could defend themselves in the best way possible.

They were soldiers getting ready for battle.

Zoey and Dean found themselves together on a team. Mike on his own and Sam and John together. It was the first time Dean had actually seen a smile on Sam and John's face in a long time. And they were smiling together. That made Dean feel happier than ever.

But, as they got around, Zoey and Dean found themselves cornered. Or lost. They didn't really know.

"We're lost." Zoey called out to Dean as she looked around but he just shushed her.

"What? It's not like they can hear us. This is probably apart of it. Get lost in the woods and find your way out and back home safely."

Dean shushed her again. Zoey just rolled her eyes.

"I can see you doing that."

"You're not even looking at me."

"But I can feel you doing it."

"That's not the same as seeing it. To actually see it, you have to be looking at me when I do it, Smart-Ass. And you weren't doing either."

"Would you just shut up for a second? Wait! What was that?" A branch broke.

Dean moved a step more.

Another one broke.

"I think they're out here."

Zoey stood back and watched him, "Seriously?" she asked herself and rolled her eyes again before calling out; "That you, you idiot!"

Dean looked down and behind him. "Oh."

Zoey now marched towards him. "Yeah, 'oh'. Come on, the motel's back this way."

"No it's not." Dean argued. "We came from the south."

"No, we came from the west."

"We came from the south. That's south." Dean said, pointing it its direction.

They were face to face with one another now, Dean towering over her slightly.

"No. That's East. That's South. And that's West. We came from the west." Zoey corrected him.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is." Zoey replied copying his tone. "You want me to make you a compass so you can see?"

Dean stared at her for a few moments before heading off in his direction.

"Where the hell are you going?!"

"Back to the motel!"

"You're going the wrong way! And they said not to split up!"

"You're welcome to join me!" Dean called back out, not looking back.

Zoey remained quiet for a second watching him walk away. He was going the wrong way and usually she would have left him but Sam would kill her if she did. So, with a loud groan, she followed him.

Dean heard her as she hurried to catch up, smirking to himself.

"You can wipe that stupid smirk off your face, while your at it."

"To see it, you have to actually be looking at me!" Dean called to her.

"Don't quote me to me. And, actually, I can see it. Every time you do that smirk of yours, it somehow makes its way into your walk."

Dean dropped the smirk and grumbled under his breath; "Smart-Ass."

"I heard that!"

It was a few months after that when all hell broke loose.

Dean was sat at the motel room table cleaning their weapons whilst herself and Sam were sat on one of the beds and she was helping him with his math homework.

"But how?!" was mostly Sam's reaction when it came to the answers. So she would go back and explain it again, and again, and again until he finally understood it.

Meanwhile, John and Mike were discussing the next case before John got annoyed and raised his voice turning to his son and Zoey.

"You don't even need that! What you need to be doing is research!"

Zoey, before realising she'd even spoken, spoke out in a sarcastic tone. "Yeah, because that's true."

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"What's that meant to mean?" John asked her.

Zoey looked between John, Dean, her father and then Sam before back to John. She'd been harbouring these words for a long time. Maybe it was about time someone told him what for.

"Okay." Zoey sat up, placing her pen down and her feet on the floor. "I don't believe your research, the stuff you want Sam to do, is what he should be doing."

"And why not?"

"Because he deserves a life outside of all of this!" Zoey said with a small scoff.

"Listen here, Lady-"

No time like the present.

Zoey quickly stood up before John could finish. "No. You listen. You drag these boys around the whole fucking country their whole lives. No stability. No hope. Just plain, brutal killing. That's it. No family. No care. No love. No Life! You expect them to know everything before they've already done it and you expect the best!"

"As I should-"

"You expect them to be the best Hunters. Not students. Not kids. Not men. Hunters. Soldiers. Soldiers for your own sick and twisted crusade of finding the thing that killed your wife!"

John now stood. "Don't you dare-"

"Talk about Mary?" Zoey asked. "Why? Why should I? We all knew her didn't we? She's their mother! She was your wife! She was his best-friend. She was my mom's best-friend. Why shouldn't we talk about her? She's what this is all about, isn't she? She's why you do this, isn't it? Why you drag Sam and Dean from school to school, from hunt to hunt, with not a care whether you live or die. Whether they live or die! Because if you pulled your head out of your ass-"

"Zoey!" Mike scolded. But there was no stopping her.

"Because if you pulled your head out of your ass for just two fucking seconds, you'd realise that this isn't what Mary would have wanted for her boys! Right now! Right now Dean should be thinking about college or work-"

"He is working!"

"He's cleaning weapons! Guns! Something he's been doing since he was 7 years old. And that's only if he's not raising Sam because you can't be bothered to even look at your son's as son's rather that soldiers!"

Dean now stood up, annoyed, angry and frustrated. But at who? He didn't really know.

"Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm not here! And who said I even wanted to go to college?"

Zoey now looked at him, directly. "Yeah, but should at least get the choice."

After a quick second of silence that felt like it lasted a life time, she looked back to John and Mike.

"You both sit there, day in, day out, solving other people's issues because you can't fix your own. Right now, Sam should be in a bedroom, with a desk, worrying over his math homework there. Not in here being surrounded by crime scene photos that have been illegally obtained. I understand you think that there is a point to this, that you think that by putting yourself in danger that you're protecting others but did you ever think, just for two seconds, about the people you should be protecting? About who should come first in your life?" Zoey was now moving around the room, unable to remain still. She was too angry. Too enraged.

"You have a family." Zoey told John before looking to her own father. "You both do."

That hit home.

"What you should be doing is protecting your children, your families. You should be thinking that you have someone to come home to and if something happen to you, that there are people who would be lost without you. And I'm sorry, but none of this should be happening! God, you say that you're doing this to avenge your wife but in fact it's nothing more than an excuse to take your anger out on your children for being the ones that lived. Taking your anger out on other people because they weren't hurt. I'm sorry John, but Mary wouldn't want this! And you finding this Demon won't bring her back! She'd dead, John and maybe it's about time you accepted that!"

However, just as Zoey finished, she found herself in Dean's hands as he dragged her back and was about to pin her to the wall only, a roar ripped out from John and Mike and, sort of, Sam since Zoey wasn't about to be the one on the wall.

Instead, Zoey was dragged back but quickly flipped the control and Dean, shockingly, found himself as the one trapped.

Both were breathing heavily and deeply. Zoey's voice became calmer as she looked Dean in the eyes. His body language said he was angry. He was ridged. Stern. But his eyes. Zoey could see the truth.

He was hurting. He was breaking.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I really am. No kid should ever have to go through what you and Sam did. But this isn't right. You and I both know it." The pair kept their gazes on one another and she felt Dean's body under her arms relax a little, so she did the same in return.

"Mary's death was an accident. Or maybe it was fate. But it couldn't be prevented. And I know that's what you think this is. Hunting: Preventing other accidents. But the truth is, when time is up, it's up. You can't stop it. You can't slow it down. It hurts but you can't just alter the world with a click of your fingers or a shot of your gun. Sometimes things happen and we have no power or control over it and letting others try and beat it out of us to say that you can...it won't work. It doesn't work." Slowly, Zoey let Dean go and stepped back.

The entire room was silent. No-one moved. No-one said a word. Not even John.

After holding Dean's gaze and seeing the truth in his eyes, Zoey turned to look at her father.

"You finish this hunt and finish all together and come home, or you don't come home at all." Zoey told him, her gaze locked on his eyes. There wasn't a raise in her voice. She was steady. Ready. She'd accepted what she had to do and it was his choice, but either way she was ready. Zoey was ready to either hold on to him or let go. It was his choice.

"I've see the fear in mom's eyes every time the phone rings. I'm not going to be apart of that fear. I'm going home. I'll either see you there or we say goodbye now and I tell mom that your not coming home. That way, she can move on and not live in fear anymore." Zoey explained. "You took vows to protect her and any children you'd have together. Are you going to break them?"

There was that silence again.

"Okay, then."

Zoey moved over towards the bed and pulled her bag out from under the bed, packed the last of her books into the bag, grabbed her jacket and swung the bag strap over her shoulder.

Zoey made it to the door, opening it up when Sam stood up. "Wait!"

Zoey looked back and was greeted with Sam's body colliding into hers, hugging her tightly. She smiled, kinda sadly, and hugged him back just as tight.

"Please don't go." Sam whispered.

"I'll be seeing you." Zoey smiled at him. The only people close enought to see her eyes were Sam and Dean.

Dean didn't move from his spot but they made eye contact as Sam stood back from the door to let her go. Zoey gave a sad smile towards Dean and a small nod before it dropped as she looked to John and Mike.

And without another look, she grabbed hold of the door handle and closed the motel door behind her. She caught a Greyhound 40 minutes later and was on her way home.

After a week, Mike decided to go home. Hunting wasn't worth loosing his wife and daughter. Zoey had made her point and she wouldn't have to make it again, ever.

John understood but cursed him out all the same. That night Mike drive home and arrived back at 7 in the morning the next day. Zoey looked at him and after a few nervous seconds on his end, she rushed to him and hugged him.

Over the years, Sam and Zoey kept in touch but with John always being by Dean's side and making a point that they should never talk to them again, Sam never told anyone.

Zoey passed her exams and headed off to college, eventually graduating as a certified Vet.

But, even by the time Sam left Dean and John to go to college, he didn't see Zoey.

Yet, Dean did.

It was about a year into Sam being at college and Dean was on his own hunt. A couple of spirits possessing a few bodies around down.

Only, with the spirits he'd miscounted, he had a job on his hands.

It was the dead of night when Dean finally broke into the family funeral-home thing and after about an hour, the attacks started coming but just as he finally, maybe, found the thing that was tying them to the world since their bodies had be cremated, a spirit come to attack him and just as they were about to throw a marble slab into his face, a match was struck and the spirts all appeared and bust into flames.

Behind the real flames, Dean saw a face he recognised. It was a little older but still held the same beauty and anger as he'd know before.

"That's the last time I save your ass, Winchester."

Zoey said no more and walked outside. Dean was quick to scramble to his feet and follow after her.

"What- Why are you here?"

"I live here."

"In...Applewood Cemetary?"

Zoey looked back to him with her eyebrow raised and rolled her eyes. "In town, idiot."

"Did you follow me here?"

"I did. Spotted you coming out of the computer room in the library. Gathered you were looking into the deaths."

"You knew there was a case here?" Dean asked. "Did you even think about checking it out?"

"I have a day job, Dean." Zoey sighed. "That I also do night-shifts on. I have others to look after, Dean."

"Not once-"

Zoey zipped around to look at him. "You could just say 'Thank you' and we can part way again."

"Why did you save me?"

"Because I'd rather not be accused of murder. Also, Sam would kill me if I let you die." Zoey pulled out her car keys and unlocked her car.

"You still speak to Sam?"

"Yeah. Heard about how it went down. Sorry." Zoey said before getting into her car. "But, you should call him. He misses you."

"He could always call me, too."

Zoey rolled her eyes and got into her car, rolling down the window before starting the engine. "You're both too stubborn for your own good. Call Sam! It will be good for both of you!" Zoey called out to him before pulling out of the cemetary and heading home.

Dean stayed in town an extra night, watching as people came in and out of the Vet practice across the street. They looked happy. Zoey...Zoey looked happy.

Dean looked to his phone again, Sams contact bright on the screen. Maybe he should listen to her for once. She had always been complaining that he never listen to her when she should.

But as he went to call Sam, his phone screen flashed.

Dad.

Maybe listening to Zoey for once would have to wait.

And he did. For another few years.

The world had almost ended 50 times over by the time Dean saw Zoey again. They'd gone from moving around motels to finally finding the Bunker.

It had been pretty quiet recently, going back to their Moster-of-The-Week hunts. And they had to admit...they'd missed it.

But it was one Tuesday morning when Dean was going filling up Baby's engine and spotted someone from the corner of his eye.

He had just been looking around, wondering if anyone was watching him. He couldn't be too careful. That was when he saw a woman. She was a few years older now, but still as beautiful. Her hair was pulled back in a messy pony tail whilst she wore green scrubs and running trainers on her feet.

She had rushed into the gas n' sip, smiling at the person who held the door open for her. "Thank you."

Dean watched as she rushed inside and grabbed a sandwhich from the back fridges, a couple bags of chips and finally a drink before paying at the counter, running back across the street where she narrowly avoided being run over -- so many times she'd stopped Sam, and Dean, from doing the same thing when they were younger. Dean watched then as she ran inside a clinc style building.

She had a practice in Witchita? 20 minutes from the bunker?

Moments later, Dean pulled up outside the Bunker and rushed inside.

"You'll never guess who I've just seen." Dean began, seeing Sam sat in the Map Room on his laptop.

"Amy Adams?"

Dean placed the plastic gas n' sip bag on the table, unloading the food. "Zoey."

Sam looked up. "Zoey? Wait- Zoey-Zoey? Our Zoey?"

Dean nodded. "She's working at a practice in Witchita."

"Seriously?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded again. "The lady at the counter said she came into town a few weeks ago."

"Do you know where she's staying?"

"No. My guess is in the motel down the street."

"Should we...I don't know...check in on her? I mean, we haven't seen her since...since I was, what? 18?"

Dean had never told Sam that he'd seen Zoey after he was 17 and when she saved his life. Now, he didn't know why. It just never really came up.

"I mean...we could try? But I doubt she'd want to see us again."

"Why?"

"Do you seriously not remember how it ended?" Dean questioned his brother. "She was tearing a new one into dad and then she nearly beat my ass to the ground again before she left. She looks happy, Sam."

"I say we go and see how she's doing."

"I can tell you how she's doing. She's happy."

Sam chuckled. "Dean, come on. It's not like we're dragging her back into the game or asking for her help. We want to see her."

"We do?"

"I do." Sam said. "Do you?"

Dean didn't answer right away. Did he want to see her? He hadn't thought about for in a long time and then today he saw her and...

"Fine."

And with that, they were driving around town looking for her motel. Sam went into the practice just before it shut, asking for Zoey but the girl at the reception desk said they'd just missed her but she would be back in the morning.

But, eventually, they found her motel.

"There's got to be reason she's here." Dean whispered under his breath.

"There is." Sam smiled, looking up from the laptop on his lap. "She's got her own practice here, man."

"But don't you find it...I don't know...freaky. We don't see her for years and then suddenly, she'd in the exact same town we are, no more than a 20 minute walk from the Bunker?"

Sam just smiled. "No, Dean. I don't find it freaky. It's just a fluke. Look."

Sam turned the laptop so Dean could see. "She's a renound vet. All her clients love her and so do their owners. She's got her own practice in five different states. This one is her new one. Maybe it's just fate."

"Do you not remember the last time we dealed with fate? She tried to kill us!"

"Fate tried to kill you?"

Dean, slightly embarrassingly, let out a small scream as he heard a voice from behind him. Both of the brothers had jumped and turned around to find Zoey, leaning down and looking into the car.

"Zoey." Sam said with a smile of relief.

"Hi, Sam." She smiled back before looking at Dean. "Fate tried to kill you?"

"Yes." Dean answered. "But an Angel saved us." Dean answered honestly and quickly before he looked around Zoey and found that she and they were the only ones in the parking lot. "Wait. How long have you been watching us?"

Zoey looked to her watch, estimating. "About half an hour. I was in the diner across the street when I heard your car. I've got grub if you want some. I'll be inside."

Without another word, Zoey stood up and walking into her motel room, leaving the door open for the brothers. Only, they were a little slow catching on.

So, standing in the open door way, Zoey held up a bag of food. "It's getting cold! You can either sit out their and freeze your asses off or you can come in! It's your choice!"

"Alright, alright. We're coming."

By the time they made it inside, Dean shutting the door behind them, Sam and Zoey were already hugging.

"God, you're so tall."

"Yeah," Sam chuckled awkwardly. "I kinda shot up after you left."

"I think that's an understatement." Zoey joked. "Food's on the table. I got your usual order. Chicken burger and a side salad. Got your's too, Dean." Zoey held it up. "Double bacon cheeseburger, extra onions."

"You remembered our orders?" Sam asked.

"Figured you'd both be hungry."

"How've you been?" Dean asked.

"I've been good. I heard about your dad...I'm sorry."

Dean nodded but Sam answered for him. "Thanks."

"I heard through the grape vine that you boys nearly ended the world and then fixed it again so...thank you for that." Zoey was unpacking some of her groceries into the mini fridge.

"You're welcome." Sam said just before Dean asked; "How'd you find out about that?"

As Zoey finished cleaning up the side, she turned around with a sigh and folded up the dish towel.

"After dad came back...it wasn't long until he went back out again. Just a couple of investigations here and there but he went back to it. I yelled at him. Mom yelled at him. He yelled at us. Mom kicked him out. I saw him at my graduation and he said he wanted to see me. He missed having his family. I told him it was too late. Over the years, a couple things came up and other hunters came to deal with them. Then, I got a call. Windigo attack. DOA. So, they brought him home. He had a Hunter's funeral. Bobby called me. He gave his condolances, I asked about you two. He said that you two sons-of-bitches were being a pain in his ass."

Dean chuckled. "That was Bobby for you."

Zoey smiled. "He updated me on everything and would call to check in with me once in a while."

"He never told us that."

Zoey nodded. "But he told be all about you two. Also, do you two ever stop to live?!"

Oh, boy.

"I understand him not listening to me," Zoey began pointing to Dean. "But you, Sam? Seriously?"

"Okay, okay. You may have a point."

"Oh, I have a million of them."

"But we're alive right now. Look. See."

The conversation soon turned to something else. Zoey told them all about her practice and could see Dean was still weary about the fact that she suddenly turned up in the same town as them.

They told her about everything else. About Lucifer and Michael. About meeting their Grandfather and how they're legacies. The whole story.

"Why are you living here anyway?" Dean asked, looking around. "If I remember correctly, you use to say we all needed a proper home."

Zoey nodded. "I've been looking but none of the houses are right for me. Even apartments. I went to look at one last week, the plumming was done so the toilet was in the middle of the master bedroom and that the electrics in the living room switch the oven on in the kitchen. Another, I'd be living in between a crazy cat lady and a guy who hangs outside his neighbours door, upside down. And don't even get me started on the upstairs neighbour."

"What if you lived with us?" Sam asked before looking to Dean. "I mean, you wouldn't have to pay. The place runs on magic as it is. It's warm and you wouldn't even have to have neighbours if you didn't want. There's like 50 rooms. An entire library, and we're usually away hunting. And it's warded so no-one can get in. You'd be safe. At least until you find a place you like?"

Zoey was surprised. She looked to Dean who seemed to agree with Sam. Why not? The Bunker was nice place, she'd be safe, she was just down the road from her practice and she wouldn't be living in a motel for the next year and a half.

It took some convincing but eventually Zoey agreed. It would just be like old times. Except, with less of the training and less of the whole out-of-fashion-even-for-the-70s vibe.

In the months that followed, everything ran pretty smoothly. Sam and Dean still continued on as they did, except when they came back from a hunt they actually had someone who knew how to do stitches and avoid infection.

Sometimes, like usual, Zoey would scold the both of them for getting hurt or not listening to her. She knew the lives they led meant that the chances of getting hurt were slim to non, but they could at least try.

Zoey walked to work every day and if she got back before the boys, she'd cook or if they were back before her, they would, well...Dean would.

Sam typically cooked breakfast since he was up at the crack of dawn.

But, as the months passed, it wasn't long before Zoey met Charlie.

Charlie had called. She had a week off work and she was due a major binge of tv, snacks and catch up with her two favourite hunters.

But, the boys had sort of forgot to mention that they had Zoey staying with them. And Dean couldn't have regretted it more. It would have at least avoided Zoey finding out about the Supernatural Books.

It was around 3 o'clock that Charlie got in, and after a long catch up on when she had been doing and what the boys had been hunting, they all turned as they heard the Bunker door open and saw Zoey walking down in her green scrubs and coat with her hair, once again, tied back in a messy pony tail.

"Oh, my god."

"Uh...Charlie. This is..Zoey. Zoey. This is Charlie."

Zoey smiled. "Hi."

But Charlie smiled back, although more star-struck than ever. "Oh my god. Zoey? This is Zoey?" Charlie looked to Dean who was a little confused. "This is the Zoey that beat you in training? The one you had, like, a major crush on?"

"What?" Zoey asked, looking slightly worried, flicking her eyes between the red head and Dean.

Dean flushed bright red as he walked backwards. "What? No. No. No, no. She- Huh - She's uh...She's just kidding. I - I'm gonna go and check on Sam."

"He's not cooking is he?" Zoey asked.

"What? Oh, no. We've ordered pizza."

"Oh, thank god."

By the time Dean slipped away and towards the kitchen, Zoey hung up her coat before turning to Charlie.

"It's nice to meet you. Sam told me your guys met on a hunt? Before Dean ended up in Purgatory?"

"Oh, yeah. I was working for Dick Roman at the time. Well, a Livaithan, but I thought it was Dick Roman and..." Charlie trailed off in the conversation and by the time Sam and Dean came back in from the kitchen with pizza boxes and beers, both of them stopped in their tracks.

"You guys have books written about you?" Zoey took a beer from Dean.

"What?"

"The Supernatural Books?"

"Charlie." Dean scolded.

"What?" Charlie asked, innocently. "I thought she already knew about them."

"Can I find this books?"

"They're on-"

"No. Absolutley not." Dean warned to Zoey but she just laughed and smiled back.

"No what?"

"You are not reading those books."

"And why not?" Zoey asked.

"Because it's...weird. They're weird. Look, just...promise me you won't read them."

Zoey could see a look in Dean's face that intruiged her. There was something, or maybe many things in those books that they both wanted to hide. But...she nodded.

"Fine. I won't read them."

"It's okay, I have! I can tell you everything."

Dean took hold of the back of Charlie's chair and pushed her down the hall away from Zoey.

"I'll take it that I'm not allowed to either, then!" Charlie called out from down the hall before eventually rolling herself back.

Charlie left a few days later and they all went back to how they were before. Only, there came a time when they'd needed Zoey's help.

They'd been on a hunt about an hour away from the bunker. Nothing was adding up until eventually it did.

There was a werewolf pack experimenting. On humans, babies, animals. Turning them all. Sam and Dean had called Zoey on as much information as they could get about putting animals to sleep, just for a while - like they'd do in surgery.

"Dean, I swear, if you're about to do something stupid-"

"You know me. I'm careful."

"No, you are not. Look, do you need my help? Because I can-"

"No. Zoey. I didn't call you to bring you back in."

But she went back in anyway.

Sam and Dean had found the back, gathered together for a meeting in a barn just south of town. They all fought, they all either got hurt or were the ones hurting and just as one of the wolves sent off two shots of Dean's gun, by the time the third one was done, Dean found that it hadn't hit him but he had been hit by something.

Sam came behind the final wolf, killing him dead when the two brothers turned and found Zoey lay beside Dean.

"Ow."

Dean didn't have time to think as he turned to help her get into a more confortable position and called out for Sam to get the first aid kit.

Zoey had put one in their car just a few days after she moved into the Bunker. Dean had found it on their next hunt and it made him smile.

"What ever happened to 'that's the last time I save your ass, Winchester.'" Dean was worried as he looked for the wound in semi-darkness.

Zoey felt okay. It hurt but she would be okay.

"Well, this is definitely the last time." Zoey half-joked.

She could feel Dean beside her, looking for a wound when she took his hand and placed it to where it was bleeding.

It hadn't hit anything too serious. And the bullet wasn't that deep. She was lucky. They both were.

"Can you stand?" Dean asked after a sigh of relief.

"I think."

Dean carefully helped her up to her feet. "Here, put your weight against me."

Dean got her outside to her car and sat her on the rim of Baby's trunk. "Can I?"

Zoey nodded. "Sam, can you drive my car back?"

"Sure."

Zoey gave him the keys before Dean gave his brother a reassured look. "We're okay here. Go on ahead."

Sam nodded and headed off, driving Zoey's car back to the Bunker.

"I thought I told you to stay home."

"And I thought I told you to be careful. You almost got yourself killed, Dean! I wasn't just going to stay at home and wait for Sam to tell me he's sold his soul this time."

Dean cleaned out her wound and patched it up as best as he could. "I need to clean this place out before we leave."

"I'll help you-"

"No, you will sit there and not go dying on me. I'll be back soon."

A few hours later, Dean was finished and they were back at the Bunker. They all got a good nights sleep, waking up mid-day. Thankfully, it was a Sunday and the practice was shut for the day so Zoey could sleep in without a worry.

As the day passed, Zoey cleaned her wound and patched it up but was struggling to get the bandage to stay since every time she twisted, it only hurt her more - what with the bullet having hit her side.

"Zo? Zoey?"

"In here!" Zoey called out from her bathroom.

Dean walked in further until he found her. "Sam finished the ironing so I brought your clothes- What are you trying to do?"

"This...it won't stay. Everytime I twist it just-"

Dean placed her clothes down on the bed and moved over to her. "Come here. Stand still."

Zoey stood infront of the mirror and watched as Dean pulled the bandage gently around her waist and back and forth until it was secure.

Only now did she realise she was stood in her joggers and a sports bra. It was the only was she could see the wound without her t-shirt getting in the way.

Dean tied it securely around her middle before standing back up straight and meeting her gaze in the mirror.

"Done."

Zoey smiled. "Thanks."

Only, as Dean smiled back, he looked down realising his hands were still on her shoulders and arms. But, a second later, that was when he saw something.

A scar.

Old, but still there.

Zoey seemed to notice as his gaze changed from whatever that moment was to seeing her scar. Swiftly, she moved around and smiled. "Thanks."

Zoey quickly zipped from his side and out to her room to grab a freshly warmed t-shirt.

Everything in Dean wanted to know where and how that had happened. How had she been hurt? When had she been hurt? Was if a pet with anxiety or was it something else? Was it a hunt?

But he could tell that she didn't want to talk about it. Or she would have mentioned something by now.

She kept her back to him as she put her t-shirt on. "Thanks for bringing my clothes."

"You're welcome. I- I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you later."

Dean left after a short moment and once he did, the door closing behind him, Zoey sat on her bed.

Before he spotted her scar, there had been this feeling in her stomach. Usually, she wouldn't have cared about what she was wearing. Clearly Dean didn't. He didn't even notice. But she did. And when he looked at her in the mirror...his face when he saw the scar.

That scar played on Dean's mind for two months. He wondered if she'd ever tell him. Maybe it was nothing? Maybe it was just a pet she had been looking after? But her reaction...how she tried to hide it...it couldn't just be nothing.

But, he finally got his answer after two months when himself and Zoey were staying in a motel together.

She was checking in on one of her other practices since the very first client of hers had another pet and only wished to see Zoey. A puppy with a broken paw.

Dean decided to go with her since Sam was going to see Elieen for the weekend, so he would have just been on his own.

"Hey, how was it?" Dean asked as Zoey came in after almost 14 hours of being out of the room.

Zoey collapsed onto the bed. "All done. I have to go back in and check on him in the morning but he's sleeping for now. I need a shower but I don't want to get up."

Dean chuckled. "Well, there's chinese in the fridge if you want some."

Zoey was up at that. "Ooh."

She hadn't eaten since this morning.

Around 2 hours later, she had eaten and found the energy to have a shower before she finally came back out in her pjs. She hadn't put her jumper on yet since her hair was dripping wet.

Dean watched as she sat on the edge of the bed and towel dried her hair. And that was when he spotted it again. The scar.

"Dean."

"What? Sorry." Dean realised he'd been staring.

"You can ask, if you want to."

"I didn't know if you'd want to tell me."

Zoey moved her hair back and moved her shirt, showing him. She called him over and he sat beside her on the bed.

"How'd it happen?"

"About two years after I last saw you." Zoey answered. They were both so close to one another than it caused them both to speak just above a whisper. "There were a couple hunters in town. They had a spirit case. They called me and begged for my help. I got there and one of them was bleeding out. But, they hadn't burnt the body yet so the spirit was more pissed than ever. It threw me against a tree before I came crashing to the ground. Threw in a book of matches and then saved the guys life."

Dean traced a finger, gently across the scar, scared he'd hurt her. But she just smiled and whispered; "It doesn't hurt."

Dean chuckled softly. "Sorry."

The scar finished at the back of her neck and as Dean's finger stopped at the top, he looked to Zoey.

There was that look again.

It was the same look they had shared before he noticed the scar in the first place.

Their eyes searched one anothers for a small moment before they flicked to the lips and back up. Before either of them knew it, they were moving in closer and finally met in the middle.

Their lips met in a soft kiss. Gentle. New. Unfamiliar yet...like forever. Like they had done this forever. That it should be done forever.

They both pulled back, their foreheads pressed against the others, their eyes still shut.

Wow.

Eventually, they opened their eyes and found they were both smiling. And it wasn't long until they kissed again. Zoey's hand was placed gently against Dean's cheek whilst the hand that had play at the top of her neck moved around and held her in closer. They each smiled into the kiss.

This is what they had been waiting for.

The passion behind the kiss, they could feel growing. Dean pulled her flush against his chest before they found their bodies moving for them.

Slowly, Zoey found herself on her back, Dean crawling to be over her body before he was above her.

They both pulled back in need of breath.

Just simply looking at her was enough to make her blush. Dean moved a strand of her hair from her face and behind her ear before he let his hand rest of her cheek. Even in partial darkness, he could see her loving blush. But that wouldn't have mattered because he could feel her smile and blush through his palm.

Slowly, he moved back down. Looking from her eyes to her lips and back again for confirmation, she nodded before Dean kissed her again.

Zoey hands pulled him in closer by his face, feeling the kiss deepen, and deepen and deepen.

It wouldn't be until the next day that either of them would talk about it, but even when they did, they already knew the answer.

Zoey's alarm went off at 6 and Dean groaned.

"Sorry."

She quickly shut it off and lay back down, Dean moving himself to hold her closer against him. He was like a human heater for her as he did so and she didn't want to leave.

"Wait." Dean grumbled when she tried to move.

But, as much as she wanted to stay by his side, she had a puppy to check on.

So, she used her initiative to make sure she could get out of bed. Even if what she was about to do would make her want to stay.

She leaned up and pulled Dean closer kissing him, his arms around her becoming more secure as she made sure he stayed down until finally, she kissed him a final time and rushed off the bed.

"Hey,"

Zoey just laughed and rushed into the bathroom. "You're welcome to join me!"

A while later, they both left the bathroom, this time Dean wrapped with a towel around his waist and Zoey in some fresh scrubs.

"Wait."

Dean pulled her back in before she left, and kissed her. "Be careful."

"I thought I was meant to be saying that to you." She smiled.

Zoey kissed him again but slowly backed out of his arms and rushed to the door. "I'll be back soon."

It got to around mid-day when Dean strolled into her practice. No-one was in since the place was shut for the day so, he called out and heard Zoey call back.

"Back here!"

Dean came through carrying a couple of sandwiches and coffee. "Thought you could use a break."

"Ah," Zoey smiled, closing the cage of the kitten she had been checking over. "You are a life saver. Both literally and metaphorically."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you, you know, since you took a bullet for me?"

"I don't mind hearing it."

But Dean kissed her instead. The kisses peppered a little and she smiled. "Even better."

"Coffee."

"Thank you."

"So, Sam called. He said he and Eileen are gonna be staying at the cabin for a few more days so I was thinking maybe, before we go back to the Bunker I take you somewhere." Dean smiled.

Zoey looked at him as she took another sip of her coffee.

"Oh, god. You're not about to kill me, are you?"

Dean chuckled, "No. Just...once you've finished up here meet me back at the motel."

Zoey smiled and leaned over to kiss him. She placed down her coffee and wrapped her arms around Dean, him doing the same with her with his hands on her hips.

The pair shared a kiss that only deepened. Both Zoey and Dean smiled into the kiss before they let go, but they still held onto one another, smiling.

They'd both waited a life time for this.

Eventually, Zoey shut the practice for the night and met Dean outside the motel. He'd picked up food for both of them and had already packed the car up.

"Ready to go?"

"Yep." Zoey smiled before Dean pulled her in for another kiss, not that she minded.

Dean drove the few hours towards their home town. As much as Dean wanted to avoid this place years ago, he'd found a happy memory to focus on now.

Eventually, he pulled into a small field and turned to his side. Zoey was fast asleep in the passenger seat, her head against the bench.

He watched her for a moment. She looked so peaceful. He felt peaceful. Right now, there was no worry. There was no hunt or moster of the week. It was just them and no-one else. Nothing else. Just them and a billion stars in the sky.

Gently, he shook her awake.

Zoey fluttered her eyes open and looked around, a little confused.

"You are going to kill me."

Dean just smiled. "Come with me."

"Okay, but if you kill me? Sam will kill you. And so will all my clients."

"Just come on."

Streching, Zoey got out of the car and followed Dean from where he grabbed the blanket from the trunk and lay it down on the ground a little further away.

However, as she looked around Zoey realised where they were.

"We're in Lawrence?"

Dean nodded.

Zoey joined him on the ground and lay her head on his chest as he covered them both with another blanket.

They lay there in silence for a while, looking above and watching the stars.

"When I was a kid, I'd get out of bed every night to wave at you from my window." Dean admitted as they lay there.

He hadn't hought about it in years until last night.

Zoey moved herself so she lay her head on top of her hands that lay on his chest, so she could look at him.

"Mom would tuck me into bed and the moment I heard her door close, I'd bound out of bed and sit under my window and wave to you. Every night."

Dean now looked to her. Zoey could tell every word he'd just said was the complete truth.

"I knew you couldn't see me but I waved anyway."

Zoey smiled and leaved over to kiss him. It felt different than the others. More...intimate. More...thankful. After all this time, she might never have grown up across from him. They might never have met. They might never have fought or loved. They might never have had this life together.

"Thank you for telling me that." Zoey said, her voice quiet.

"You were my first crush. I was so embarrassingly in love with you."

"I thought I was a pain-in-the-ass?"

"Oh, you were that, too." Dean teased. "But you were still you. You could beat my ass to the ground within three moves. Better than any damn hunter I know. And you were right, that night, about what you said before you left. We shouldn't have gone through that as kids, but...for some reason, part of me is glad we did, because I got to be with you. And Sam. After all of it...you and Sam made it worth it."

Zoey could only smile.

Even when she was younger, as much as Dean never listened to a word she said and always did the opposite of what he probably should have done...he was here. With her. And, once she took away all the moments of him being her very own pain-in-the-ass, maybe he was her childhood crush too.

But they were both more than that, now.

They were grown adults. They were living their lives, and sometimes it would be more dangerous than the typical life, but they couldn't focus on that right now. They didn't need to focus on that right now.

All they needed was each other. And they couldn't have been more happier.

Zoey moved closer, the kiss starting out soft and slow before she whispered against his lips. "I love you, Dean."

He pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear and smiled. "I love you, too."

They both smiled lightly before moving in closer and sharing a kiss. Zoey's hands came to his face. She could feel the stubbled beneath her hands. Dean's own hands pushed through from her cheek to the back of her head, through her hair. His other hand was against her hip as she moved upwards and straddled his hips.

A moan came from the back of Dean's throat as she did so. Zoey pulled him closer and he soon found himself sitting up, pulling her closer if that was even possible.

All they needed was one another. And they would have, for the rest of their lives.

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cambria-writes · 2 years ago

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hello! welcome back!

would you look at that i've remembered to update! y'all lucky it took me almost two years to update with chapter 16 on AO3 and by the time i've posted that one here i'll probably have chapter 17 done!

not gonna lie though every time i see the word counts for these chapters i want to cry. i love reading long chapters so want to put that out too, but several years ago i guess 2-3k felt like a marathon to me!

and that's okay. that's growth. 🌱

pairing: patrick jane x reader word count: 2,262 rating: M, each chapter rated individually warning: alcohol consumption, reader drinks maybe a little too much, reckless flirting, Frat Boys, swearing, reader isn't often referred to with pronouns but they are afab

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊: ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢

Patrick Jane helps you through your sobbing the only way you believe he knows how to. For a few minutes, he lets you cry. Vent. When the tea begins to cool beyond Peak Consumption Temperature, he begins to talk.

And, really, doesn't stop.

He talks about how the older woman you saw was the original killer. Explains to you what you already know about her motives. You aren't sure how Mr Jane could possibly know this, too, but you stay quiet and listen. He says that she was targeting young women because she believed them closer to the truest human nature. She killed those who looked down on her and belittled her. And eventually she found someone worth keeping around.

It was a murderous cult, is what it was. In the end, it was someone who had gone off the deep end and took their passion too far. You don't have it in you to argue. He isn't completely wrong, but you can't find the words (or the air in your lungs) to explain what exactly it was. Not that Jane would believe you even if you did.

By this point in the conversation, despite yourself, you drink. Camomille probably. You can feel it calm you. You stare down into the cup while he speaks. You don’t dissociate. Not really. But you blank out for a few seconds, long enough for it to be noticeable, you think. Slack jaw. Slumped shoulders. Vacant expression. You tense when you see a hand approach you before realizing Mr Jane is just taking the cup and saucer away from you.

“I can help you with that,” he says, calmly and quietly. You find yourself nodding without thinking. Frown into your empty hands.

“Help me with what?” You don’t look up. You know what he’ll say and how he looks at you.

“That depends on why you want,” is Mr Jane’s typical non-answer. “I can make you forget. It’s temporary, but it works. For a while. Or,” he leans forward, leaning his elbows on his knees and threading his hands in front of him. “I can teach you.”

The tone of his voice is serious. No kidding, no joke. He wants to teach you something. Now you look up. The intensity in his eyes almost makes you sweat.

“Teach me what?”

A grin fit for the devil spreads across Jane’s face, white teeth showing.

“How to sharpen that fear into a knife.”

Your tears are still drying on your face. But slowly, quietly, you can feel something hungry expand in your chest.

The first exercise is in a bar. A dive bar. Sleazy, questionably sanitary and filled with even more questionable characters. The beer’s not even that good. You drink it anyways. It makes it easier to talk. Removes your bias. Removes the majority of the self-doubt.

That’s what Jane says, anyways. Part of you can believe it. The other part believes in ulterior motives in spite of yourself.

It takes the time of a beer and a half before he wanders off. Orders you to watch closely what happens, to try and memorize every movement he makes. No matter how small it may seem, you are asked to track everything. The small rub of his thumb when he shakes a woman’s hand. The lack of any nervous tics altogether. Slow, deliberate blinking. Leaning in for conversation, but only after confirming boundaries. Everything about Jane’s posture screams “I’m paying attention to you and only you”.

The woman excuses herself and grabs her jacket. Jane makes his way back towards you with a martini he didn’t have before. As the woman threads an arm through a sleeve, she pauses, shoulders the rest of the jacket, and reaches into the left pocket. You already know what’s in there, but the surprise on her face shows that she had no idea. She looks around to find a familiar dirty blonde head, but gives up after a few seconds.

She exits the bar with a smile on her face and her phone in her hands.

“That was smooth,” you comment, eyes glued to the door shutting behind the woman. “She seemed pissed that you even came up to her until you shook her hand.” You turn to Mr Jane. His face is plastered with a look of pride and satisfaction. “Is this witchcraft?”

He lets out a quiet bark of laughter. “No, darling, that is just the simplicity of the human mind.” Places a hand on your shoulder and squeezes. “It’s easy to make anyone like you as long as you push the right buttons.”

You’re too distracted by the warmth of his hand to mention that his phone hasn’t gone off yet.

You can’t put words to it yet, but there’s an idea slowly sprouting somewhere in the back of your mind.

“So, tell me.” The hand disappears from your shoulder. Jane sits back on his stool and sips at his martini. “What did you see?”

You look down for a few seconds, gather your thoughts. You saw a lot of things. Though honestly, you can dismiss about half of them. Grab your beer and take a swig straight from the bottle before you can speak.

“You were always turned towards her, that’s the first thing I noticed,” you begin, eyes still unfocused, aimed somewhere at the floor. “Your feet were always pointed towards her, which I think is one of those subconsciously-read body language things about attentiveness. You kept your arms open and wide apart. That would look inviting I guess. And you didn’t hunch or try to make yourself smaller. Not… not in a presumptuous way, though. Confident, I guess?”

A quiet snort and a hint of a grin. Alright, not bad, you’re on the right track. Straighten yourself on your stool and grab your beer with both hands. Look up directly at Jane.

“The handshake; you did that thing where you rub with your thumb. She looked weirded out by that, but seemed to relax when she realized you didn’t look nervous. You put yourself between her and the rest of the crowd, but in a way that I think gave the illusion of privacy? You didn’t impose yourself so much that it looked like you were boxing her in. She had the option to walk away any time she wanted.”

You’re about to continue when two things happen: Jane looks above and beyond your right shoulder and you can feel more than see the shadow that someone is casting down on you. Already hate the vibe. And the smell. Can’t fathom why anyone would want to bathe in anything related to Axe. You cast a withering look at Jane; though he looks some measure of upset, when his gaze lands back on you, you know that look. It’s a challenge.

Alright. Sure. You’ve done significantly worse over the past several days. Turning down an arrogant idiot should be a piece of cake.

Turn around on your stool to greet the intruder. He has already made the mistake of being far too close to you. Your face is level with one of his pectorals. Jock #1 is “casually” leaning against the bar. Does his best impression of someone who is failing to look uninterested. He looks at you like he’s just noticed you. Or, at least, you figure that’s the look he’s going for. It isn’t working.

You keep your expression flat. He’s clearly expecting you to ask something. Who he is, what he wants. You keep quiet. The man looks significantly more uncomfortable when your eyes move from his forehead back down to his eyes. Only then does he finally break the silence.

“I, uh. Hi.” He at least has the decency to cringe.

“I was shot in the leg a few days ago, I was targeted by a serial killer and her equally psychotic sidekick, had brain matter splatter on my face no sooner than a few hours ago, and I really just want to get shitfaced and forget about it in pleasant, intelligible company. You feel like you can have a five minute conversation with me that won’t bore me to death? Give it a shot. Otherwise I’m going to stay here, have another shitty beer in this shitty bar and lament my shitty life with the only not shitty thing to have been in it in the past five days.”

Take a slow, deliberate swig of your beer and stare the man down. He is completely slacked-jawed. Mutters a quick apology, grabs his half-empty beer back from the counter and walks away much faster than he arrived. You breathe out a sigh of relief. Turn back to Jane to find him looking deep in contemplation. Quickly look away and down the rest of your bottle of beer. Stings your throat and eyes. Ask for another one. Three beers is probably too much—when in the world did you become such a lightweight?—but whatever. Jane offered to pay. You aren’t one to squander an opportunity to get drunk on someone else’s dollar.

Jane waits until you’ve dragged a third of your beer. “Your turn.”

You almost sputter, but don’t. You knew what this was about. Grab your beer and stand and do your best impression of someone who isn’t you.

“Alright, sure. Who?,” you ask, looking around the bar. Not much to pick from. You catch the obnoxious Axe man from before shooting you furtive looks. You hope he doesn’t think he’s being subtle.

“That one,” Jane says, eyes on you but pulling your attention in the direction he nods his head.

It’s an older man, sitting alone under a window. Not entirely sure how many years he’s got on you. Something in you bristles at it; you wouldn’t have dared approach him sober. But inebriated, you can acknowledge that man is absolutely your type.

You don’t ask anything. Jane’s probably done the preliminary background check in his head already. You aren’t too worried. Take a deep breath. Another. Turn around and stride on forward.

You exit the Citroen more gracefully than you’d have thought possible. And also far more dramatically. Jane brought you back to the CBI office. Not sure why. You don’t question it; you don’t feel like going home anyways. You were hunted down before, you could be again. Feels like everyone is painting a bull’s eye on you. The thought doesn’t unnerve you as much as you think it probably should.

Swat away Jane’s hand when he offers to help you walk to the door. Mutter something about not being a goddamn child. You bump shoulders as you walk. More accurately, your shoulder bumps his bicep.

“You almost had him, you know,” Jane says airily. Trails off like he wants to say something else, but you know he won’t. All it does is burn your pride even more.

Shove him with your elbow. He barely moves. “Shut up. Okay? Shut—just, shut up.” Wait patiently to be let into the building. Someone from security nods at Jane. You try to remember to ask him if he actually lives here later.

You fall asleep on a leather couch covered by a knit blanket.

You wake up with the suggestion of a headache. The lights are too bright. Despite their deliberately hushed tones, you can hear Jane argue with someone. Sounds like Agent Lisbon. You pretend to still be sleeping. It isn’t hard. There’s a pause when Jane speaks that makes you think he noticed, thought.

“You can’t keep taking her back here, Jane!,” you hear Lisbon whisper. She doesn’t sound pleased. “This is the CBI, not your personal motel!”

Shame crawls under your skin and feels like molten metal in your veins. You weren’t sober enough last night to realize that crashing at the CBI, in plain sight, probably wasn’t a good idea. Especially not following their kind-of consultant.

Jane’s muttering is too quiet for you to understand anything he says. Sounds like he’s getting further away; taking Lisbon away from you? You appreciate the distance regardless of the reason. You aim to get up slowly, but you’re greeted with a glass of water and what you expect are aspirin. Practically jump out of your skin at the sight of someone holding them out to you.

You take the offered water and pills with a quiet thank you. Down them and chug the rest of the water. Hand the glass back, but don’t let go of it right away. You look at the man expectantly.

“...fine. I’m Agent Cho,” he concedes. You let go of the glass.

“Benraft,” you answer shortly. The look he gives you is confusing. You ultimately settle for feeling proud. Agent Cho gives you a nod before standing and going off somewhere out of sight.

A quick look around reveals that no one is at their desk. Good. You take the chance to escape. Make your way as best you can to the stairway that leads to Mr Jane’s hideout. You don’t expect the sliding steel door to be unlocked. And it isn’t; you tug a few times. No give.

You let yourself slide down against the door, sit on the ground in a huff. There isn’t much for you to do. You wait five minutes. Ten. Thirty. And no Jane to be found. You’re reluctant to use your phone battery more than necessary. It takes some debating, but ultimately a trip to any kind of store is probably preferable to waiting like a lost puppy.

You almost don’t get lost getting to and out the front door.

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

@fucklife-or-me @yearningforsappho @mamacakeishereforfun

please let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future updates!

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thedragonqueens · 2 years ago

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TVDu femslash week

Day 3 - slice of life

Hayley's birthday was coming and Rebekah wanted make a surprise to her girl <3

"Rise and shine beautiful one!" Rebekah says with a smile in her face while opening Hayley's bedroom windows. "I planned an amazing day for you and we are going to enjoy everything from now until midnight."

Hayley just sat on her bed and smiled.

"Where are we going to?"

"Well, first we are going to my closest get you the best outfit we can. I'll take you in one of the best New Orleans bakery for breakfast, we are going shopping, lunch, Movies and a little party on my room because you don't really like people." Rebekah just grabbed Hayley's hand and pulled her out of bed. Rebekah choosed something simple but stylish for Hayley, that was just waiting on Rebekah's bed while thinking how hungry she was.

"You really look like a mean girl movies but better, nicer and hotter" Rebekah said for Hayley while the brunette was looking herself on the mirror.

At the bakery, they had an amazing breakfast with everything they could: cake, cookies, juice, coffe, milkshake, tea, fruits, bread, mixed eggs, bread... while eating, they were talking about life and just telling what gossips they knew and didn't told each other. Was kinda weird or dark because all gossips were like "he died" "she got turned into a vampire" but they couldn't just turn into humans and pretend those things didn't happened.

When they finished, they went to various brand and expensive stores to buy clothes, bags and jewelry for themselves.

"Isn't all that too expensive?" Hayley said naively.

"Oh, Hayley, don't worry with that. First: we can compel anyone here so they will let us get for free; Two: Mikaelson family is probably richest than those stupid and ugly millionaires; Three: you think Klaus and Elijah wouldn't buy some stuff for their little sister and for you? They obviously would." Rebekah replied in a simple way. "Just enjoy and let the money with me, that will let with my older brothers."

Hayley bought more stuff than she thought she would, Rebekah made her keep almost everything she liked. They didn't payed much ofc, just part of it because "it's not theft then" according to Beks.

They went lunch after going shopping, was already late but Rebekah insisted. She had made a reservation on Hayley's favorite restaurant of New Orleans.

"That was delicious, Bex. How did you knew thats my favorite restaurant?" Hayley was so happy, she was having something that never had before in her life and in the company of her best friend.

"I have my own ways to find out" Rebekah replied with a smile. The blonde girl was happy to see the little wolf smiling and having fun without any problems around.

After eat, Rebekah took Hayley to the Movies.

"You wanna watch anything specific?" Rebekah asked softly.

"Not really. You can choose this time." Hayley replied. "You buy the tickets and I'll get us some popcorn."

Hayley got the popcorn and they went watch it. Hayley didn't knew what movie was but she trusted Rebeka's choice. In fact, the movie was amazing and Hayley loved, but got intrigued. Was a sapphic movie and she started to think if Bekah was into girls just like she was. Hayley had an affair with a girl when she was 16, but things didn't went well and the girl was human what made harder.

Was already dark when the girls left the movies and went back home. Hayley went to her bedroom for a shower and Bex prepared everything on her room. They were going to make nails, drink wine and eat candies until get tired and then sleep.

Hayley was on pijamas in Rebekah's bed waiting for the blonde, she was having a shower. Hayley started imagine again, if Rebekah was into girls or not. She didn't even knew why she was so bothered with that at all. When Rebekah come, Hayley just ignored her thoughts and girls went talk and drink. They made their nails together and after some wine glasses, Hayley decided to ask:

"Bex, why you decided do all that?" Hayley said. That's not what she was going to say but she was also curious about this.

"Look, when I was young, nothing of this existed. I wasn't poor but I wasn't even close to be rich and we just lived our lifes simply. You never had the chance to have any experience like this and you definitely deserve it. Im rich has a thousand years but I'm not your friend that long. I thought would be good enjoy our time together living the life we never could get."

"That's so beautiful, Bex. I can't even thank you enough for today"

"You should thank Klaus. He made you pregnant and a part of this family. Technically wasn't him who made you part of this family but-" Hayley interrupted Rebekahs speech.

"Are you into girls?"

"Yeah, of course, but why the question?" Rebekah was curious to know what Hayley was going to say. Obviously she liked girls too, she just didn't felt like needed to tell anyone because her partners would end up killed anyway.

"I just... I don't know why this bothered me so much, but I couldn't keep wondering."

"Are you into girls?" Rebekah asked a little apprehensive.

Instead of just say "yes" or something affirmative, Hayley went to Rebekah and kissed her. Rebekah was confused at first, but started enjoy the kiss. The blonde put her hands on Hayley's waistline and brought her to her lap. After some minutes, Rebekah put Hayley on the bed and they took off their clothes while still kissing.

[...]

#that's it #couldn't post yesterday sorry #late but here #hope you like #xoxo #tvdu femslash week #tvdufemslashweek #the originals #tvd universe #hayley marshall #hayley mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #haybekah #hayley x rebekah #rebekah x hayley #tvdu sapphic #tvd sapphic #added random gifs

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sepyana · 1 year ago

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Jjba Diamond is Unbreakable Ep. 8-16 Thoughts

Ep. 8-9

Yukako has so many issues god bless

I've taken a liking to her design. Her color scheme goes together well, her hair has a lot of character and I do like the rose emblem on her outfit.

Her stand, Love Deluxe, plays the prehensile hair trope straight, other than her ability to control her hair even when it is not attached to her scalp. I like the name but I find this type of stand boring to be honest.

I'm not really interested in Yukako as a character, unless she gets something more later on. The funniest thing they can do is pair her and Koichi together. "Me and my girl don't argue, she tells me to shup up and I do" and such.

Josuke and Okuyasu were nice this episode. We learn that Crazy Diamond can't bring back anything The Hand deletes. Just goes to show how opposite their powers are.

Koichi is not really my cup of tea. I appreciate him being part of the group but solo episodes with him don't really interest me. Plus his voice is incredibly grating in both sub and dub. It's interesting that he set up that rock so that Yukako wouldn't die, you gotta be really confident that you'll win if you are worrying about the safety of your opponent.

Hey, Koichi with the new hair kinda looks like... No I shan't say it.

Let's talk about Echoes. My boy. My lil man. Look at his lil smile :) My favourite stand from part 4 so far. It seems to emote on its own sometimes, like Star Platinum who smiles every time it gets a chance to beat someone up. I like it when stands emote on their own. The fanworks do this a lot but jjba itself rarely does it. Which is a shame.

Ep. 10

This is just 20 minutes of Okuyasu having nice things happen to him and I think that's just great. If I had so say my one gripe (and be a killjoy), it would be that it doesn't tell us much about Okuyasu and Josuke that we don't already know. The best thing about filler is that it gives us characterization and I don't think this episode has enough of that.

Okuyasu and Josuke fighting reminded me of the Death 13 episode except Polnareff was infinitely more stubborn

Also this is a great time to just give the VAs the biggest shout out cuz wow I love them. Especially Okuyasu I love the way he says Josuke. It brings me joy. They are perfect fits for the characters they are playing. I can hear Tonio's accent but I know fuck all about Japanese so It might be horrible, not my problem tho.

Ep 11 - 12

I think Tomoko is one of my favourite female Jojo characters so far. The bar is on the ground, but, you know. Take what you can get.

I don't get why they added that scene with Josuke at the start. It doesn't really add anything.

I think the funniest thing in episode 11 is Koichi and Okuyasu just going through it and the Jojos not giving a shit. I hate the Joestars so much it's unreal. It did struck me as a bit weird. It's not at all weird for Jotaro (Have you seen the stardust crusaders? They told Polnareff they lied about Avdol's death to him and then they had the audacity to go "I didn't think you'd be this hurt"), It does feel a bit off for Josuke though.

Jotaro smiling as he says Jospeh could die is amazing. Of course he would.

I didn't think about what Red Hor Chili Pepper's stand user would look like but I am definitely not dissapointed in Akira. Personality wise he is insanely boring but I do like his design.

Okuyasu looking at his own hand as he thanks Koichi was a nice touch.

I like how they handled Joseph. Obviously Josuke is not gonna be amazed to see him but It wouldn't go with his personality if he was antagonistic either.

Ep 13

I don't like how different the japanese VA of Joseph sounds when he is yelling. English VA doesn't have this issue but it's also was the weakest of the sdc cast imo. No winning with this one.

Ep 14 - 15

The first episode is just set up. It does that job pretty well though. Really makes Rohan seem insane. I mean, he *is*.

Rohan relating everything to art and writing isn't even that off from how most artists think tbh. Writers will see a documentary about the most disturbing shit they have ever seen and they will go "That will make my writing about this part more accurate".

And Rohan'a advice is actually pretty good. Like, draw with references. Draw from reality. Base your characters on people who you know, instead of like, just taking from your favourite artisans. Anyways,

Rohan's stand is called the Heaven's Door. Firstly, It's a really cute stand. Secondly, this thing is busted. It'd be one thing if looking at a draft was the only way for it to work but touching you with his stand also works. And he can knock someone unconcious when unfurling them. Add on that the insane speed he has for no reason and honestly we should just be glad this guy isn't a villain. He is just weird and offputting.

I fucking love episode 15. The pay off is amazing. I love that Okuyasu and Josuke notice something small like a cut on his hand and immediately help him. I love that Rohan opens Josuke's eyes by insulting his hair. And then he just. keeps. going.

Josuke being literary so blinded by rage that he doesn't see the draft? Amazing. He absolutely destroyed that place. And threw a fucking chair at Okuyasu and Koichi. This show is pretty funny when it wants to be.

The story of his hair was really sweet. The guy helping them seems to be a student like the current day Josuke too.

Ep 16

The art style for this episode looks different from normal and I have no idea why. The style is ussually pretty consistent. You can see the gums in their teeth it's strange.

Jotaro gets a slight outfit change. I like the colors and the tilted belts. I'm not sure on the new jacket. I liked that they used the collar of his shirt to give the same vibe as his part 3 outfit insead of just giving him a jacket exactly like his old one. His new jacket is a bit dissapointing. I like dolphins. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with the triangle and the sun. Overall, I like the older one just a bit more. I would love it if he kept changing outfits like this tho.

It's something that Jotaro can't seem to seperate Star Platinum's time stop ability from Dio. Like, that's Star Platinum's power.

As funny as seeing Jotaro get his ass beat by a Twitch looking ass rat is, It's also shows what I like about stands. I know Jotaro is holding back here, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a bad machup for him. So you don't need to nerf him in ordert to create conflict. Stands are good against combatting power creep, is what I'm saying.

Love Crazy Diamond popping up out of nowhere just to look sad. Don't look at me with them big ol' eyes.

Ep. 17

I think one thing part 4 is good at is the character dynamics. Rohan and Koichi was fun to watch. Rohan grinning at Koichi getting flustered was great. Reimi being really friendly with Rohan cuz she knew him when he was a kid is a nice bit of writing.

I made a joke post about where Kak went after death, a few people mentioned how ghosts were real and he could be like Reimi. Now I know what they are talking about.

Reimi has a nice design. Especially the choker with the hands holding on it. Speaking of hands

I know I shouldn't be laughing at the guy whose only trait so far is that he kills young girls to date their hands to satisfy his stupid fetish or something but

what even is that music. Why did they make it like that.

To close this off, I am currently on vacation with little internet access. It's a rural area so there isn't much to do. I've been spending my time writing these, slowly. Gonna take a hot minute to finish this part.

I've been also wondering if I should watch Stone Ocean before Golden Wind and get the Jotaro story over with. I'll decide that later, I dunno.

#sepya watches jjba #↪ posts

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nightingaleofthemoonlight · 1 year ago

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PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH

What I think edition about

Puss in Boots himself

For those who haven't watch Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, this is spoilers.

Short Synopsis:

Puss in Boots is down to one life. Death is after him. His last hope to be the Legendary Puss in Boots once again is to look for the map to the shooting star that fell in ground. In his journey, Perrito and Kitty Softpaws accompanied him , facing their enemies Goldilocks and The Three Bears and Big Jack Horner towards the star.

Notes:

When Puss wasted his 8th life, Death appeared. Puss argued that he still have one life and that Death shouldn't come after him yet...

I did wonder why Death appeared. Puss still does have one life but as the story goes on we learned that every time Puss died, he died because of stupidity.

For example, his first death is when he got flirted with a girl inside the bullring.

And every time he dies and lives again, he will live a life thinking that he has 9 lives. The problem is that it runs out. Unfortunately, he created the idea that Puss in Boots is fearless. An image in which people adore as well. But this word 'fearless' made him waste his lives to foolishness.

In life, classmates do tend to test how brave you are. We've done stupid things like eating a cockroach, going into abandoned places or even exploring the dangerous waters without any experience at all. All of this, just to show prove 'fearless' we could be. There's no shame in admitting it. We've all done this. Usually because we are pressured by our friends even our own family. They just don't know that being fearless shouldn't make you stupid enough to put yourself in danger. To be fearless is to be able to live in a world where every single thing that you do could end you. To be fearless is to try even if you failed the first time. That is fearless.

Puss in Boots 9 lives....

Puss in Boots can be interpreted as us, human beings going through stages of our lives or hitting a milestone or a traumatic episode that made or forced us to change our lives, perspective.

I'll share you a story to be explain it better.

I was 13 years old when I had my last fight. A real fight but not in the ring. In an alleyway where I was able to beat a guy who keeps on bullying me. I was different that time. Different mindset. I thought that time everything can be solve with a fist. This is my first life.

15 years old is when I stand in the corner of the room, having a breakdown because everyone is talking bad about me. It didn't bother me back when I was 13. At the age of 16, I wanted to end it all. I gave every person that didn't treat me horrible some of my belongings because i can't take care of them anymore. This is when I lost my second life.

And when Death appeared saying that Puss doesn't value his lives so he comes to take his last forcefully, it made me think that these lives. These 9 lives that Puss has were actually chances. Chance for redemption, to change and do better. And this happens actually. Why do bad people when they faced Death they suddenly become good?

17 years old when I transferred and got good peers and until now, I am still enjoying my third life.

And that sucks isn't it? Why do people need to see Death before they change? Why not now? Why wait?

And we know someone who is definitely unworthy of being forgiven for what they've done but here they are. Trying their best to change in that chance they've got.

This is getting long already so I guess I have to split this into parts. 😅

#puss in boots #the last wish #puss in boots 2 #movie analysis

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lunaryugamine · 2 years ago

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I posted 1,083 times in 2022

That's 647 more posts than 2021!

22 posts created (2%)

1,061 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@metaorigin

@ladyloveandjustice

@the-name-is-loser

@shanastoryteller

@readenheim

I tagged 1,010 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#funny - 313 posts

#fanart - 257 posts

#so cool - 111 posts

#cale henituse - 99 posts

#signal boost - 86 posts

#trash of the count's family - 85 posts

#spy x family - 52 posts

#art - 43 posts

#kim dokja - 38 posts

#trash of the count’s family - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#death: *calls out his moping and makes a ‘take your brother to work day’ and makes someone immortal just so dream can go on playdates*

My Top Posts in 2022:

So the positive attention I've gotten for my TBHK fic idea of an exorcist!Aoi has kept it in my head and although I'm not going to write the full thing until the manga is over (I've already changed so much from the first fic I posted on AO3 almost two years ago because of stuff revealed in the manga) but I'm sort of obsessed with my character dynamics I've created for Aoi, Akane, and Teru so I'm going to discuss them here using those fun ship dynamic pictures. I will also probably post more fics focusing on their relationships with each other as well as other characters because character writing is one of my favorite things which is why my NaNoWriMo project is focusing on worldbuilding.

Have fun with this!

Some backstory: Aoi and Teru have known each other since they were really little and are WlW MlM solidarity and hostility at the same time.

When Akane comes into the mix when he becomes part supernatural, things differ significantly from manga canon because Aoi isn't going to let Akane flounder in this new world and so comes clean about everything, leading to a dynamic that is healthier because they are honest to each other now and Akane isn't continually confessing to Aoi because he realizes that she isn't going to love him back the way he loves her and his feelings for her slowly fade. It is also unhealthy in a different way because now they are codependent and possessive of each other. It's fun. Teru thinks it's fun, anyway, and pokes at it constantly.

Anyway, because Akane now knows that Aoi is an exorcist, he insists on helping her with exorcisms and refuses the glasses Teru offers him. The three of them begin to regularly work together and it brings them closer with each other.

Onto the ship pictures!

They are all one of these at some point in their relationship. It is a Problem.

See the full post

16 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

It's very awkward having a British student in my class who is unapologetically pro-monarch. When asked by my chorale teacher what exactly the Queen symbolized, she said that she united everyone in the UK, no matter their political beliefs.

As she's a tiny freshman on a completely different continent, I was nice enough not to point her to tumblr to show her all the people in the UK who are celebrating her death.

23 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

So... Latest JSHK chapter...

Obviously we're all very upset about Teru. He cares so much for his brother and they're both so traumatized and, regardless of how he treats supernaturals, he did just push his brother out of danger and Did Not Deserve That.

But, also, why does Number Six suddenly have an accent?

Did he have an accent in earlier chapters? Is this just a weird thing in the translation I'm reading?

Also, sad that Aoi had no lines in this chapter. Let her speak, Aodairo!!!

25 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

I'm honestly shocked how many people don't realize that Helio and Medea kissing isn't an endorsement of their relationship. It's very clear that their relationship isn't healthy and that Medea doesn't care for Helio the same way he cares for her. I mean, when he asks "to console her", she doesn't give an enthusiastic "yes" or even a tepid "sure". She pauses and then says, "If you'd like." She doesn't ask for it.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Helio is taking advantage of Medea like some other people are saying. I think it's honestly the other way around. Medea knows he loves/worships her and indulges his eccentricities, even if it sort of annoys her (like when she repeated called him clingy), because it allows her to keep him under her thumb.

The major difference between Medea and Eros is that she feels guilty about using Helio like this, unlike how Eros feels about using Psyche (or literally anyone else because he's insane).

Medea legitimately cares for Helio. Just not as much as he cares for her.

74 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Goodbye Jonathan "my good friend" Harker

Goodbye Mina "I am the train fiend" Harker

Goodbye Lucy "polyamorous icon" Westerna

Goodbye Dr John "what are morals" Seward

Goodbye Quincey "shoot a bat" Morris

Goodbye Arthur "money solves everything" Holmwood

Goodbye Dr. Abraham "I am an expert in everything" Van Helsing

Fuck you Count "lizard fashion" Dracula

You will be missed. Except for Dracula.

2,674 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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lilyevanstan1325 · 11 months ago

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🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Chapter 16

Amaya POV

"Hey look!The mistletoe" I giggle pulling Lucas by the hand dragging him until we find ourselves under it.

Then I grab his tie in my hands and pull him to me to kiss him.

Our lips touch and my skin is covered with chills.

Lucas's hands slide along my arms and then stop on my hips, squeezing them gently.

I keep kissing him for a few minutes.

Our tongues caress each other softly, looking for each other and touching each other delicately.

Tonight I feel my body reacting differently to Lucas' touch.

It's like my body is sending me a clear signal.

Are you ready!

I slowly detach myself from him, his eyes are bright and a bit of lust makes them shine.

"I still can't believe it.Nat and Steve are getting married in just six months.I'm so happy and excited for them" I dreamy sigh trying to direct my thoughts somewhere else.

At the moment I feel quite scared of this desire to deepen my relationship on the physical side.

Him, unaware of everything, smiles at me.

"Six months is very little to organize a wedding" he replies with a chuckles.

"It depends on what you want" I reply.

"If I ever get married someday I want something simple.No princess dresses, no tousend of guests.I would like something simple, a few close friends.Maybe barefoot on the beach" I add.

Lucas watches me closely.

"Really?I thought the classic wedding with a white dress and everything else was every woman's dream"

"Well it's not my dream"

Lucas laughs heartily.

"What's up?What did I say funny?" I ask smiling and tying my arms behind his neck.

"You have always been different from the others.Always over the top.I think that's why I fell in love with you"

He says it lightly, as if it were completely natural.

Leaving me totally speechless.

But then he realizes his words.

"Oh shit!I'm sorry Amaya.I know we have to take things slow...no rush!" he exclaims making his gaze wander everywhere, carefully avoiding my eyes.

"Lucas..."

"I know.I know it.I'm sorry.It slipped from my lips without realizing it" he stammers in panic.

"Lucas"

"No, you're right.I know we are on two different levels.But it does not matter.It is enough for me to have you by my side.You don't have to say anything, okay?"

"Lucas please shut your mouth" I exclaim laughing.

He looks at me like I'm crazy.

While he was talking he walked away from me, now he keeps his hands in his pockets swinging in place.

He is definitely upset.

I approach him again.

"You know I promised you I would never lie to you"

He nods.

I seek his hands and squeeze them in mine.

"I don't know if I love you Lucas, I don't know yet but of one thing I'm sure...you have restored my happiness.I'm fine with you.You are the only one who has always understood me, the only one I have always trusted.I like you and I like you a lot.And I want you all to myself.Do you think it will be enough for now?I know how you feel about me, I've always known, so I don't want to force you to do anything...and if what I have to offer isn't enough for you, I can't even force you to stay with me" I whisper feeling almost ungrateful.

I like him but I can't deny that my relationship with Bucky was important.

Which has left an unfortunately negative mark on my life.

I need time and no matter how much I want to be with Lucas, I can't force him to settle for what little I have to offer him.

I feel Lucas' fingers press under my chin to make my face lift.

Our gazes meet by chaining each other.

"I knew exactly what I were going through when I kissed you back two months ago.I'm not a fool, I know it's too early for you to talk about love but I know you.I know you are sincere.One step at a time, right?"

He looks at me smiling with a disarming sweetness.

"One step at a time" I whisper in response.

We share another sweet kiss.

We remain embraced under the mistletoe enjoying this little moment of our own.

"Hey come on!" he tells me, he breaks away from me.

"Meet some of my colleagues from Washington.I've told them so much about you" he adds, taking me by the hand.

I follow him smiling at him.

I find myself smiling and shaking the hands of at least a dozen people, they all seem enthusiastic to know me and they repeat to me how much Lucas had told them about me.

"I am thirsty.Do you want something?" I ask him drawing his attention to me while he is chatting with his colleagues.

"No, I'm fine.Do you want me to go?"

I smile at his concern.

"No, that's okay.I'll go"

He kisses me and lets me go.

I go to the counter and take a look around.

Nat and Steve are dancing tightly in each other's arms.

They are a beautiful couple and I am really happy for them.

After all that both of them have had to go through in their lives, they really deserve all this happiness, all this love.

I let my gaze wander around the great room again and I can catch a glimpse of all my friends, everyone is enjoying themselves and the evening seems to be going on very well.

On the other hand, it has never happened that a party of the great Tony Stark was a flop.

"Here's your drink agent"

I return my attention to the bar and finally the bartender has arrived with my Martini.

I thank him and go back, my gaze glued to my drink to avoid spilling it on my dress.

But after a few moments I bump into something.

The violent impact makes me bounce back a few steps, it was so violent that for a moment I think I hit some wall and instead I hear a voice apologizing.

"Oh sorry!I..."

But when my eyes are lifted from my hands, I find myself in front of a pair of eyes that I know all too well.

Or at least I thought I knew.

"Shit!I'm sorry!Let me..." Bucky exclaims visibly agitated, waving his hands in front of him as if he wanted to help me.

"Don't worry.Nothing happened" I cut him.

I'm definitely not in the mood to listen to his stupid whining.

I absolutely don't want to ruin my evening by arguing with him.

I take a step to the side and leave him there alone as I stride away.

I reach Lucas who in the meantime has remained alone.

"What happened?" he asks when he sees me return with the glass half full and my hands wet.

"Nothing.An idiot didn't see me and came on me making my drink spill" I reply.

Lucas grabs my glass and leans over to a table next to us.

He puts down the glass and grabs some napkins and then helps me dry my hands.

"Do you want me to go look for him?"

I smile at him shaking my head.

"As honored as I am that you want to defend my honor, there is no need.I would not want to disappoint you but we are not in the Wild West Agent Scott" I point out to him with a slight chuckle.

With the corner of my eye I check what happened to Bucky but not even a shadow of him.

I turn my attention back to the man in front of me, Lucas' annoyed gaze lifts from my hands to look at me with a raised eyebrow and then he rolls his eyes.

After helping me clean my hands he insists on going for another Martini.

"Ok but hurry up it's almost midnight!"

Lucas laughs promising that he would make it in time.

Shortly after, Tony's voice echoes throughout the room.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's almost midnight.I advise you to retrieve your coats and sit on the terrace to enjoy the fireworks display offered by Mr. Stark.That would be me"

A chorus of laughter rises from the small crowd intent on listening to him.

"Oh shit!" I exclaim, cursing myself.

Obviously living here I didn't think about bringing my coat with me so now I find myself in a dress definitely not suitable for the cold New York nights.

"What happens?" Lucas asks curiously as he approaches me with my drink in his hands.

"I want to go out to see the fireworks but I don't have a coat.I have to go up to my room" I snort impatiently.

"You begin to take a seat outside, I'll join you immediately"

I start to move away but Lucas grabs me by the wrist pulling me back towards him.

Our bodies collide and Lucas' lips are instantly on mine.

"I'll give you my coat" he whispers on my lips.

"And you?You will freeze" I ask, looking him straight in the eye.

"Well it will mean that I will warm up holding you tight in my arms" he whispers with a mischievous look.

I feel like daring a little, I want to understand if we are on the same wavelength tonight.

"Or maybe" I add, blinking languidly "I could warm you up.Later.In my room"

Lucas's eyes just darken, a flash of pure pleasure crosses them.

His grip on my hips increases and his intense gaze makes my legs tremble.

Apparently he and I are speaking the same language tonight.

"It's a tempting proposition, I have to admit" he replies, licking his lips.

We smile and after another sweet kiss Lucas retrieves his coat and with extreme gallantry helps me to put it on.

I find myself immediately enveloped in his intoxicating scent.

I lift the collar of his coat sinking my face, breathing deeply the sweet scent of him.

"Ok this is damn romantic but...where is my Martini?" I ask, looking up at the man in front of me.

Lucas laughs and grabs the glass he had placed next to him.

I drink a couple of sips and then we sit outside and thanks to Lucas we are able to get close to the railing.

He stays behind me and his arms close around my shoulders, I lean with my back against his chest and intertwine my hands around his.

"Are you sure you're not cold?" I ask, turning my head back, looking up until I meet his gaze.

"I'm fine, don't worry" he replies kissing the tip of my nose.

"Your nose is cold" he chuckles as he kisses it again.

I chuckle leaning my head against his hard, compact chest.

A few snowflakes begin to fall on our heads.

After a few minutes the first firework breaks the silence.

A cascade of red and gold sparks colors the sky above our heads.

I am amazed by so much wonder.

With my mouth open and eyes wide open I watch the trails of light follow one another in a wonderful show in the New York sky.

I love fireworks.

I've always loved them since I was a child.

A memory suddenly comes back to my mind.

It was Christmas Eve, I must have been about six years old and my parents had gone on a mission for a couple of days leaving me with a woman who at the time I thought was a babysitter, only later when I was older did I discover that she was an agent.

Just that morning mom had called me to say they wouldn't be back in time for midnight.

I was upset, I was just a child and I didn't understand how my parents could miss the midnight fireworks and the arrival of Santa Claus.

I smile sweetly at the memory.

Disappointed and angry I went to sleep early but then in the middle of the night two strong arms lifted me from my bed and then wrapped me, still half asleep, inside a large blanket.

A few minutes later I found myself looking out on the balcony, wrapped in the arms of my wonderful father while my mother tried to put a hat on me so as not to make my head freeze.

Ecstatic and enraptured, I watched the colorful fireworks explode in the dark sky.

"You said you weren't coming" I murmured against the blanket pressing down on my face.

"We will always find a way to get back to you" my mom replied while another firework illuminated her beautiful blue eyes and her wide and sincere smile.

I sigh sadly.

In the end, however, they did not come back to me.

Who knows what they thought at that moment.

Who knows if while they looked their killer in the eye their last thought was for me.

The echo of the explosion of the last firework disperses in the air along with my sad memories.

I wake up from my numbness to return to focus on the present.

I look up at Lucas and find him staring at me.

He raises a hand and strokes my cheek, with his thumb collecting a lonely tear.

"Everything is fine?"

I shrug at his question.

"I thought" I reply simply.

"May I ask you what you were thinking?" he asks me softly as I turn into his arms.

Now we are facing each other again, I wrap my arms around his waist and sink my frozen face into his chest.

"I was thinking about my parents.On Christmas Eve we always watched the fireworks together" I reply with a hint of sadness.

Lucas hugs me and kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry" he whispers with his lips still on my skin.

I shake my head.

"It's been a long time now.It was just a good memory"

We take each other by the hand and head inside again, joining everyone else for a toast.

We exchange kisses and hugs with everyone.

Nat and I hug each other, giggling and starting to throw out some ideas for the wedding.

After about two hours a yawn escapes from my lips, I try not to show it but obviously Lucas notices it.

"Do you want to go back to your room?"

I nod, resting my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

Indeed, it is already 2 in the morning and fatigue begins to be felt.

We say goodbye to everyone and head to my room.

As soon as I enter I take off my shoes and let out a sigh of relief.

"Why are you wearing them if they are uncomfortable?" Lucas asks me, raising an eyebrow as he takes off his jacket.

I cross my arms over my chest and I watch him as he loosens his tie.

"What's up?" he asks me looking at me with a questioning look.

"You realize you asked a stupid question, right?"

"It's not a stupid question" he replies.

I snort walking towards the bathroom.

"I'll be right back" I yell from behind the closed door.

I look in the mirror and start taking off my make-up, wash my face and brush my hair.

I stop for a moment to think.

Tonight for the first time I felt the physical need to get close to Lucas.

To touch him, to kiss him, to make him hold me in his arms.

He is wonderful and I feel really into him.

I would like to go further but a thousand doubts hold me back.

It will certainly be strange to slept with a man other than Bucky, after all, before him I had not allowed myself to anyone for a long time and with him...with him sex was something explosive.

I cannot deny this.

But what will sex with Lucas be like?

He is sweeter, more romantic.

I slowly undress but instead of wearing my usual pajamas, consisting of an old sweetpants and a Lucas shirt, I leave the bathroom wearing only my underwear.

I wear simple black lace suit.

Lucas cannot see me, he is carefully folding his expensive suit from behind before placing it on the chair.

I roll my eyes.

The usual perfectionist.

"How about tomorrow morning we..."

But he can't finish the sentence because as soon as he turns around he sees me.

I am half naked in front of him.

His eyes widen in amazement and then he immediately turns to the other side.

"Excuse me!I didn't...I didn't realize...sorry!" he stutters embarrassed.

I laugh softly.

I approach him touching his back and I feel him shiver under my touch.

"Lucas" I murmur softly.

He slowly turns in my direction, making sure that his gaze is always fixed on my face.

"Amaya you don't have to do this" he tells me with a serious look.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, lifting myself up on tiptoe, kissing the perfect profile of his jaw.

His beard tickles my lips.

I continue to kiss him running down his neck as my hands sneak under his t-shirt.

Lucas readily grabs my wrists by pulling my hands away from his body.

"Why are you doing so?You don't want me?" I ask him angrily as I walk away from him.

Now I feel too naked in front of his impassive gaze.

I try to cover myself by crossing my arms in front of my body.

"There is no need to get angry Amaya"

I look at him incredulously.

"Really?Are you refusing me and I should laugh about it?" I ask angrily.

Lucas sighs.

"I'm not turning you down.I'm just telling you you don't have to.You don't have to prove anything to me.You don't even have to do it to prove to yourself that it's over with Barnes"

Just hearing him mention that name, I feel my brain short-circuit and rage taking hold of me.

"Barnes?What the hell are you talking about?" I exclaim, running a hand through my hair violently.

I laugh but it's a joyless laugh.

"I'm practically banging my vagina in your face and you come out with this bullshit?But what the hell is wrong with you?Jesus Christ!" I exclaim more and more angry.

We look into each other's eyes for a few seconds until I see Lucas's lips lift upwards.

Unable to hold back a smile.

I can't help it and I laugh too.

"Ok ok!" I say raising my hands in front of me.

"Maybe I overdid the story of my vagina"

Lucas continues to laugh and approaches me.

"I don't mind talking about your vagina too much" he chuckles, amused.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry" he whispers then turning serious.

"I didn't have to bring up that man.I'm sorry" he whispers to me.

I shake my head hugging him.

"It's okay" I answer, placing my ear on his chest right where his heart beats furiously.

"I just want you to want to make love with me because you want it"

His sweet and insecure voice resounds in my ear through his chest.

"Oh Lucas" I murmured looking up and stroking his face.

"But I want you.Let's leave it all behind.We only think about us.To us now" I murmur before reaching for his lips again.

And this time he doesn't hold back.

His hands clasp firmly on my hips.

His tongue enters my mouth with force.

I lean my head back, letting him guide me.

We back away until my back collides with the cold wall.

His lips descend to my neck as his hands caress my thighs.

I lose my hands in his honey blonde hair, barely moaning.

At the sound of my moan Lucas looks up into my eyes and he crushed his lips back on mine.

His hands tighten on my thighs lifting one so that I fit better against his body.

I can clearly feel his erection pressing against my warm core.

I rub against him, stealing to him a lustful moan.

Lucas grabs me hard and making me tie my legs around his hips leads me onto the bed where he lays me down carefully, as if I were made of crystal.

I watch him as he takes off his shirt by yanking it from his head and then lowers himself bringing his lips to my body.

He kisses my ankle and then the other.

He kisses my calf and then the other.

He kisses my inner thigh and then moves on to the other.

I shiver at each contact.

I squeeze the blankets under me tightly between my fingers.

I press my head hard on the pillow arching my back, leaning towards him asking for more.

Lucas returns to devote himself to my neck, kissing and biting it.

He takes off my bra with slow and delicate movements, continuing to worship my body and I can't help but moan at every touch of him.

His lips descend along my belly and in a single gesture he also takes off the last garment I am wearing.

I remain naked in front of his eyes.

For a moment I feel embarrassment burning inside of me but I just need to look at his eyes to reassure me.

Lucas continues to look at me as if I were the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Are you okay honey?"

I nod with shortness of breath.

"Yeah" I whisper, lifting myself up on my elbows to find his lips.

Lucas lets himself be kissed, then I lie down again allowing him to continue the discovery of my body.

His lips rest on my belly and then descend and, as delicate as the wings of a butterfly, they rest on the core of my pleasure.

I instinctively grab his hair pushing his face harder between my legs.

I almost feel him growling on my pussy and his tongue gets bolder as two fingers brush my entrance pressing to enter.

"Oh Lucas" I scream between moans as his fingers move with skill until they bring me to orgasm.

I collapse on the sheets trying to catch my breath.

Lucas positions himself between my thighs and I lift myself up just enough to help him lower his boxers which he promptly kicks off.

He positions himself better on me and then kisses me with infinite sweetness.

"You are beautiful.You are fantastic.And I adore you" he whispers to me between kisses and then starts shoving his dick inside me.

For a moment I think about how weird it is to have sex with a man other than Bucky.

With Lucas it's totally different.

Lucas is kinder, more delicate.

He is not carnal and impetuous.

He has a completely unknown way of making love.

I try to relax and free my head.

I just want to enjoy this wonderful moment.

A hand of Lucas tightens around my thigh, lifting it so that it rests on his side, the other hand is pointed on the mattress on the side of my head.

My fingers claw his perfect ass inviting him to push harder.

Lucas pleases me and starts pacing back and forth, in and out of my body.

Accompanying his every movement with a moan.

Our lips collide giving life to a kiss of pure passion.

Our moans mix in our mouths, one breathing the essence of the other.

And so enveloped only by the sound of our hips colliding with force we both cum, letting ourselves go tired but satisfied.

Lucas rolls to the side and I follow him crouching beside him.

He turns his head towards me, looking at me from above with his eyes as clear and blue as the ocean.

He smiles at me sweetly and I return his smile.

"It was beautiful" I murmur as I try to catch my breath.

"I fully agree" Lucas chuckles kissing my forehead.

I laugh hitting his chest.

Lucas pretends to hurt himself and massaging his chest he raises himself on one elbow and leans towards me.

"You are beautiful Amaya.And I'm happy to be here with you" he tells me, filling my face with kisses.

I laugh in the throes of a joy that I haven't felt for a long time.

"Thanks Lucas"

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For never giving up.For always believing I was worth it"

Lucas's eyes soften as his smile widens even more.

"You will always be worth it Amaya.Always"

We exchange a last kiss and remain embraced while sleep envelops us in his mantle.

Bucky POV

The fireworks have been over for a long time now but I can't find the strength to get up and get away.

I definitely won't be able to sleep tonight.

Too many thoughts swirl in my head with the same intensity as a tornado.

In front of my eyes the roofs of the cities begin to turn white.

I sigh and with an effort of will I get up.

I think I'll go to my room to take advantage of the last few hours I have left to pack a bag.

I go down the stairs thoughtlessly and without realizing it I find myself in the corridor that will take me to my room.

Suddenly a sound catches my attention.

It is a moan.

Then another.

I smile.

Someone is having fun.

And a lot too.

Maybe Sam managed to get the blonde he flirted with all night.

Or maybe Steve and Natasha are just celebrating their engagement.

But the closer I get to my room, the more I realize that the moans become more and more intense.

And with a gasp of disgust I realize that the moans I hear come from the room opposite mine.

Amaya's room.

My hand is shaking so much that for a moment I can't even grasp the door handle.

I take a deep breath and grabbing the handle I quickly enter the room.

I put my hands against the wall, trying to keep me on my feet.

The chasm around my heart widens more and more.

I want to scream in anger but I hold back, I just punch the wall until my bleeding hand begs me to stop.

I drag myself to the bathroom trying to clean myself and bandage my hand as best I can, I take off my shirt and rinse my face trying to give myself an attitude.

I look in the mirror and my gaze falls on the tags hanging on my neck, in addition to mine I also wear the one Amaya gave me and the one I had given her.

"Forever yours"

Never was a greater lie.

I sit on the edge of the tub staring into space.

She moved on.

That's all I can think of.

I'm a pathetic asshole.

After minutes or hours, I don't know, I go back to my room and grabbing a bag from the closet I fill it in bulk with what I find.

I stop just for a moment to check my watch.

How the hell is it possible that it's already 4 in the morning?

I get dressed wearing a sweater and putting on my leather jacket, I look at this place for the last time and closing the zipper of the bag I leave this room and go knock on Sam's door.

After a few minutes a visibly sleepy and confused Sam opens the door.

"Sorry my friend.Did I interrupt something?"

Sam rubs his eyes.

"No man.I was just sleeping.But what time is it?Why do you have a bag with you?I didn't think there was any mission..." Sam concludes, yawning loudly.

"No mission.I'm leaving"

Sam seems to fully wake up to my words.

"What?Why?"

"Seriously Sam?I can't stay where she is.I can't"

Sam watches me with his big dark eyes.

"You understand me, right?" I ask.

Sam nods and grabbing for the arm he pulls me towards him, squeezing me into a vigorous hug.

"I will miss you buddy" my friend whispers, pulling away from me and placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I will miss you too.Even if you are annoying most of the time"

We both laugh trying to disguise the emotion that is gripping our guts at the moment.

"Are you going back to Wakanda?"

I nod to his question.

"Well you have my number.Don't forget about me" Sam chuckles.

"I'll be back.I just need time"

Sam nods and looking sadly at me lets me go.

Now comes the hardest part.

Tell Steve.

With a trembling hand I knock on his door and drop the bag at my feet.

Unlike Sam, Steve immediately opens the door.

"What happens?" he immediately asks in alarm.

"I wanted to say goodbye before I leave"

His eyes scan me carefully from head to toe, he sees the bag on the floor.

"You don't have to"

His voice is harsh, anyone might think he's angry right now but I know he's not.

I know him.

Steve is just scared.

"And instead I have to brother.I can't stay, I can't"

Steve takes a step closer.

"I'll help you.You will get out of it.You're not alone"

I shake my head disconsolately.

"I'll miss you too much but I can't stay.And you know it"

His eyes, blue as the sky, are veiled with tears.

I rest a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

"C'mon dude!I don't will disappear forever.I'll be back for your wedding, am I or am I not your best man?"

I try to smile even though at this moment I would like to cry.

There has always been a special bond between me and Steve and separating us brings back horrible memories but I also know that Steve cares about me enough to accept my choice.

"What happened to your hand?"

I hoped he wouldn't notice...

Embarrassed, I look down at my feet, unable to look him in the eye as I tell him the truth.

"As I walked back to my room I heard them.I heard them having sex...and I lost my mind.Do you understand why I can't stay?"

"I'm sorry Buck"

A voice behind Steve catches my attention.

"Baby?Who is he?" Natasha asks in a sleepy voice.

Steve gestures for me to enter.

"If you don't say goodbye to her, she'll blame you for life.Come in"

Leaving the bag in the hallway, I walk into Steve's room.

"I hope for you that you are dressed in redhead" I yell at the door that hides my friends' bed.

After a few moments Natasha comes out staggering.

She's wearing a cute pink floral pajamas and her hair is a mess.

I laugh heartily.

"Sexy" I exclaim, getting a dirty look from the former Russian spy.

"Funny!What are you doing here idiot?" she asks me as she yawns.

"I'm here to greet you.I'm going back to Wakanda"

Natasha just watches me and nods.

She comes over and getting on tiptoe wraps her arms around my neck.

"But you come back for the wedding, right?I could never get married without you, you stupid idiot" she murmurs against my neck.

I feel her sniff.

I hold her tighter.

"Come on, don't be like that Romanoff.You have to be strong and keep an eye on Steve for me.You can do it?"

I clear my throat, I feel a lump that forces me into a painful grip.

We detach ourselves from our embrace.

She nods.

I turn to Steve.

Now my eyes are also bright, I can't find a way to behave.

"I will miss you brother" I whimper like a sissy.

Steve crushes me in his arms.

"I'll miss you too.Till the end..."

"Of the line, pal" I conclude his sentence crying against his shoulder.

We separate and it's almost physical pain, what give me comforts is that he won't be alone.

There are Nat and Sam to take care of him.

"Come back when you want" my best friend tells me as he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

"When I am ready I will come back to you.You are my whole family" I reply.

Then I turn my back on him and go away.

I grab my bag from the floor and go to the elevator that will take me to the roof where a jet will soon come to pick me up.

As I wait for the elevator doors to open, I hear a voice behind me.

"Bucky?"

I know exactly who it belongs to.

I press the button again, hoping that the doors will open quickly.

"Bucky wait!What are you doing?" Amaya exclaims reaching for me and grabbing me by the arm.

I shake her hand violently off of me.

"Don't touch me" I hiss in anger without even looking at her.

I can't face her now.

I don't have the strength.

Fortunately the elevator doors open and I quickly slide inside but unexpectedly Amaya follows me by slipping into the elevator a moment before the doors close again.

"Where are you going?You're leaving?"

I close myself in my silence.

"Bucky will you answer me?"

I continue undeterred in my silence.

"Damn!" she exclaims.

The doors reopen and I find myself directly on the small landing strip at the top of the Avengers tower.

An icy wind whips my face.

I risk a glance at Amaya who stubbornly continued to follow me, she is wearing only sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Go away, you'll get sick" I tell her rudely.

"You're leaving?"

I sight exasperated.

"Yes" I reply between my teeth.

"Why?"

"Are you serious?Are you fucking serious Amaya?Please tell me you're making fun of me" I screamed at her angrily.

She takes a step back struck by the vehemence of my words.

"You don't have to go.You are an Avengers, this is your place, your home.These people are your family"

"You were my family Amaya.I wanted to live with you for the rest of my life.Maybe buy a house in the suburbs and fill it with children and dogs" I reply.

Her face looks torn with pain.

Liar.

She is just a liar.

A fucking liar.

"Amaya please go away and let me go.Leave me my last shred of dignity and let me go"

"Bucky..."

"No Amaya!No!Stop!I...please go away"

Amaya crosses her arms over her chest, her eyes guilty.

"I didn't want it to end like this" she says with a whisper.

I laugh heartily.

I can't believe she actually said that.

"Don't bullshit Snow.You took us to where we are now"

"What?" she asks me as if she were not the architect of all this immense disaster.

"Oh don't make that face.You decided it would end up between us.You have moved on.You fuck another man.Not me Amaya.You!So spare me your fake displeasure"

"You lied to me!You lied about the one thing you shouldn't lie about" she yells back at me.

I approach her dangerously, dominating her with my size.

"Please stop playing the victim.Stop it for once!Have you ever tried for a moment to think about me?How did I feel?Did you ever think for a moment that I was just scared of losing you?No Amaya, you judged me right away.Pointing to me as a traitor and a liar.Here's what you did.You never gave me a way to explain!You just made up your mind for both of us and didn't give a damn about me.You took my heart and stepped on it with no respect" I spit my truth at her in anger.

She has never given time to explain myself but now that the edges are broken I don't know if I will be able to stop the river of words that I have inside of me.

"But don't worry, it's not your fault.You know in love relationships there are those who love and those who are loved.Those who love live the relationship with passion, with absolute dedication, with romanticism.Who is loved is limited to being idolized.I'm not saying that loving is bad but you suffer a lot...you suffer when you love so much and then you are thrown away like this"

Amaya's eyes become bright but I don't care, I continue to advance toward her, throwing up all my pain on her.

"I have loved you from the first day I saw you and you are in me...you are in me as if you were a disease.You are a disease that sneaks under my skin and infects every living part reducing it to nothing.It's like I'm infected by Amaya Snow.I can't sleep, I can't breathe, I can't eat...and I love you.I just love you all the time.And every minute of every day I just love you, love you and watch you move on with your life.I did everything to make you happy and now I find myself here, having to leave everything I have because of you.You know?I'm still in love with you Amaya and maybe I will always be and I assure you that I hate myself for it"

I'm out of breath as if I had run a marathon, my chest rises and falls furiously but slowly I begin to feel better.

Having had the opportunity to vent all the anger and pain that I have kept inside in these last fucking five months makes me feel much better.

So much better that now that I look at her I can't be mad at her anymore.

Amaya continues to look at me in silence, her big green eyes looking sad.

One step separates me from her.

I reach out my hands and grab her face.

She doesn't move away, she doesn't chase me.

She simply stands still.

"Listen to me Amaya.I never meant to make you cry, I never meant to break your heart.Really.I'm sorry if I made you suffer.And I'm glad you went further, it fucking hurts, but I know it's the right thing you could do.Lucas is a good guy.Hold on to what you're feeling, that feeling is the best thing.The best thing.I want you to live your life and be happy.I am just a tired man, tired of this life...to coward to put an end to all this torment.I just watch the day pass hoping to die.So sick and tired of being your slave, slave of this toxic love.I just want to live the rest of my days without having to suffer with every fucking breath.Please release me from you" I whisper to her.

Her eyes are closed but a tear rolls down her cheek.

I lean my forehead against her.

"I also want you to be happy, I don't ask for anything else.You're free to go James" she replies weakly.

Her warm breath smashes deliciously on my face, the sound of my name wrapping around her tongue is a sweet caress on my broken heart.

"I'm sorry.I'm sorry I didn't love you enough" she murmurs in a choked voice.

"That's okay Amaya.You don't have to apologize for anything"

In the meantime an unnatural wind blows up behind me, the jet sent by T'Challa is landing.

I detach myself from her, from the warmth of her skin and turn my back to her.

I grab my bag and load it on my shoulder and head for the jet.

I get on board but before closing the hatch I turn around and call her.

"Amaya?"

She stops and just turns her head in my direction, her dull gaze stops in mine.

"I wanted you to know that...that despite everything you saved me.Thanks"

In response she gives me a weak and short smile and then she goes away.

I sit back, sinking into the soft leather seat.

I have just closed the most important chapter of my life and the only thing I wonder is if this pain will ever go away.

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