#like why can't I just read the room?
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true
#shiv roy#succession#succession spoilers#ok i'm sleeping#wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right#also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say#i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest#or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood#or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode#or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ#or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie#if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason#shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated#it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does#and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone#she's literally always seen herself as the exception
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Take care of him (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Watchdogs#Lord Hater#Wander#He's very important don't you know ♪#I may or may not have been reading sickfics where the Watchdogs take care of Peepers in his moment of weakness hehe#The Watchdogs really swing between brutally competent and hilariously frivolous they have no middle slider haha#I really like them <3 They're such a cute bunch!#Never getting over all the Watchdogs all stuffed into that one carnival ride on Bingleborp lol#So many eyes and all single-seeing there's just something Very about them hm ♪#I can't decide which I like more - the Watchdogs kinda just putting up with Peepers or actually admiring him#I can have both since there's so many! A Peepers fanclub? Haha ♫#I don't think he'd be comfortable with it tho - at times his actions make me wonder if he even considers himself a Watchdog#He does a lot of bullying and gets bullied in return - The Cartoon as an example of the latter haha#He truly is more competent than the average foot soldier which is y'know - why he's a Commander in the first place lol#But to the point of comedy (and yes of course I know it's a comedy show lol) - the divide is very stark! He feels very separated#I like that about him :) He has visual differences and spacial differences - his own room - and competence and just ah! He's interesting!#He rises to meet his desires!! I like him very much ♪♫#More on the sickfic train lol a bit of a role reversal - a careful Hater and a lackadaisical Wander haha#Peepers is so small and breakable in Hater's arms! Treat him gently! Whereas he's barely smaller than Wander lol#Maybe they went out drinking together and he needed to return him to his room haha - so many identical doors#Normally he'd know but it's funnier to drag him around lol#The usual sleepy doodle <3 Gotta do it haha#A couple silly ones - I wanted to try the X eye shape but I didn't want it to stick haha though they do use it when they fall down sometimes#Almost X-shaped when he squints really hard! How cute haha
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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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i think this was funnier in my head.
#puppy draws#yo-kai watch#katie forester#jibanyan#whisper#whisper ykw#usapyon#hailey anne thomas#as a diagnosed autistic person i can confirm that the autism evaluation results#just being a picture of the autism creature with text saying you have the tism is accurate#i don't even remember how this idea came to me i think i was just overly tired this morning and then this happened#also ignore the fact that i refuse to accept nate as being canon protagonist katie is like way better sorry besties <3#that's like 80% a joke. every main yo-kai watch character is my blorbo and nate is included in that#i just also prefer katie. playing 3 and rewatching the anime + reading the manga did endear me to nate more though#i like how he's average but also totally bisexual. no i will not elaborate#why do my tags always get so derailed. uhhhh back to autism. hailey is so fucking autistic ngl#there's like at least five different instances in 3 of her just completely failing to read the room#she's totally hyperfixated on sailor cuties and next harmeowny#she has adhd vibes too i think but. the tism is very strong#i can't decide my favorite part of this between the “yippee!! you have the tism” image and jibanyan asking what autism is#he doesn't know because he has autism by default through being a cat he didn't need a diagnosis#i feel like all of them are autistic tbh but that's probably just me projecting. i totally gave katie autism in the rewrite though#i wasn't even trying to i just don't know what neurotypicals are like because i got that autistic rizz. and adhd rizz. mostly the adhd#i am definitely also autistic but i think my adhd effects me a lot more in day-to-day life#since i usually just interact with my moms who know i'm autistic and are also both neurodivergent#and people online. most of who are autistic because it's mostly on tumblr and this is the autism website#yo-kai watch more like yo-gay watchtism amirite-#oh also very amused by hailey just poofing into existence in the second picture. as you do
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humble offer of an au instead of (a continuation of) divorced zukka
Zuko fakes his death:
Someone's been trying to assassinate him. It's long after Sokka leaves, and they aren't together. Maybe they had something once, and Sokka always thought they'd end up together, but they aren't together. And he hears word of the fire lord's death all the way back in the water tribe. How there was nothing the Kyoshi Warriors or the palace guard could do, and he was killed.
There are no remains.
He goes to the funeral, and it's this big dramatic ordeal (because they're trying to really hammer in that he's "dead") and Sokka's a mess. A complete and utter mess. He can barely function, and he's angry, especially at Suki, because he doesn't understand how she isn't more upset (she knows Zuko's still alive. She tries to talk to him, but he pushes her away, and they're never able to talk in a private place.) But more than that, he's angry with himself. Because if he hadn't left, he could have saved him. He could have been there. He thought they had a future together, that they couldn't be together now, but someday they would, and that all goes up in smoke.
And then Zuko's alive. They were able to apprehend the mastermind with the guise, and Sokka should be happy, but all he feels is emotions he can't understand. He feels betrayed.
"You were in the water tribe," Zuko said. "I couldn't tell you--"
"You died. You were dead. I-I went to your funeral, I mourned you."
And he wants to be angry, he wants to hit him, to make him feel a fraction of the pain he felt, but he can't hurt him, not ever, and the only thing he can do is crumble at his feet because Zuko is alive.
#death tw#...yes this is partially inspired by middle school me watching bones and having that episode locked and loaded in my memory#anyway in bones i thought the excuse they made for not telling her was stupid so here my reasoning is...distance? idk it kinda falls apart#when sokka arrives for the funeral so if anyone has ideas as to why sokka can't know id love to hear them#or ideas on how to really twist the knife#like maybe this isn't full divorced maybe this is just like they had a fight and sokka left for a little while and reaaally feels guilty#but it was actually because i was thinking of sokka's canon death and how i would love for it to be fake#i really like the idea of zuko mourning him in a completely wrecked room things half burned as he turns away all the guards#zukka#surely there's got to be fic for this. anyone know??#<----i say being very bad at actually sitting and reading fic
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With the release of From The Rehearsal Room - Tokyo to Ramin's youtube I finally, finally, continue and finish this side project I'm doing.
Initially, I used AI to mastered it because the first version I got from bilibili were not in good quality but I wasn't satisfied and I found the much better quality. But with Ramin uploaded it to youtube, I re did all the mastering just with audacity for both Part 1 and Part 2. The Part 2 is still from the better version I found from bilibili, by the way.
What you need to do is just download the file and put it on your music player. The metadata is all completed as if it's whole legit album. Enjoy, guys!!
And I'm being weird so all the lyrics that are put there are from my listening although I still use what I found online but I still listened and compared. They made few ad-libs and changes and I notice because for the songs that I wasn't familiar, the lyric that I found online and what they sang was slightly different. Perhaps they sing the newer version of the lyrics or mistakes? Even each Sheytoons songs they sing one in both parts differ from the ones I found online.
Another sample from my favorite:
Source and Credits Part 1 | Part 2 (Ramin's upload) Album cover Photos
Vocal & Guitar: Ramin Karimloo, Hadley Fraser Piano: Ryohei Mori
#from the rehearsal room#ramin karimloo#hadley fraser#more to come probably idk we'll see#i should've also continue that eight letters project *sigh#sheytoons#edit: the lyrics hehe#add: tbh after i read steal our moments lyric so many times i even transcripted this mostly myself#bcs this is the only one among all the songs in this session that doesn't have the lyric online because they sang this so rare like soo rar#why am i starting to feel this song is about sierra lol sorry but my inner shipping heart can't resist#i even consult chatgpt (i know why idk but just asking really)#aren't all sheytoons songs written when ramin was in LND? written exactly in his dressing room in adelphi theatre???#and tbh most of sheytoons song are mostly about observing women but who idk it could be different#one of them could be about mandy and the other could be about rosalie because i know at that time she and hadley were dating already right?#or it could be some random lady#steal our moments: perhaps it's about a fleeting or secret relationship#the first verse is that the girl is full of life (house full could mean fulfilling life) but she is lonely and sierra lived alone in london#the singer and her share dreams and memories and then she plays her game of make believe could indicate that both of them are actors#every night and every day this is what we do: that's their work. they're on stage together every day every night. and ofc spending time tgt#and then the reff is about the singer doesn't want keep living like this bcs it makes him guilty maybe? he's tearing his soul apart#the singer can't stop thinking about her so he prays that things work on in the correct way even though they can't do anything about it now#so yea :D#fish noodle couple
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I know this hasn't been relevant in years but I want to see either Konrad Curze or his child host bad unboxing.
youtube
(I spend way too long trying find a video with the exact mood of breaking shit than I wanted rather than relying on burbing) @yurihasurunbara Vaugely primarch kid mention I guess.
#Youtube#primarch offspring#I can't remember which one but the one where he goes#“It's a single piece of paper that says nigger faggot” and someone commented “when your brother sends you a letter” fucking slays me.#Not because of someone using “edgy words” but because of the mental image of someone sitting in a dark candlelit room deeply philosophical.#then just sending a letter with that and nothing else.#Like it's some grand revelation#Btw for anyone wondering why I (white) didn't censor that it's just principle against censoring qoutes in general. No harm meant.#the idea that if you relay what someone else said even if critizing them YOU should censor yourself is retarded#ESPECIALLY if you're critisizing them#Like youtubers reading someones posts out loud and censoring only that word nothing else or THEY'RE somehow racist. And just... no.#The whole thing just reminds me too much of that story of someone in ancient Greece/Rome saying something akin to the word for “clitoris"#and everyone beating the shit out of eachother in moral panic#Or the idea the swedish word for wolf was changed because the original sounded like a howl and people thought saying it would summon wolves#Like haven't we as a species moved past “you said the FORBIDDEN WORD out loud. We are doomed!” Again no harm meant. Just that principle.#konrad curze#nightlords#night lords#warhammer#warhammer 40k#wh40k#warhammer 40000#40k
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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in i am avoiding my almost finished fic i am at the brink and so fear has no hold on me so i will post some things which have been languishing in the drafts
#why do we make art? why do we tell stories? why did I commit to such an overly ambitious fic? this was supposed to be maybe 10k max and#i fear it's reaching 50k. i don't even know how many people will read this i can't tell if it's actually any good (this is not me asking fo#reassurance this is just what writing is like you know that post that's like staring at a sentence wondering if it's the worst sentence eve#written and the sentence is 'he walked across the room' or something it's that it's just part of the process) why do i want this story to#exist so bad? this is also what i was asking myself when working on my previous long term project which was on the stress of being seventee#vs the immutable law of love for fh. why do we tell stories? why do I want this story to exist so badly? idk fam. i'm almost done and maybe#then i might have an answer and maybe i will not
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in a very i hate everyone sort of mood because my college bestie didn't want to room with me for literally no reason and sat with my original college bestie-turned-worstie who started ignoring me out of nowhere instead of me AFTER SAYING SHE'D SIT WITH ME IN CLASS and I'm 99% my other college bestie is mad at me because she's being super distant and I'm sort of just frolicking between every friend group ever fitting in everywhere but also not belonging and not being a part of them WHY DO I PERENNIALLY FEEL LIKE I'M 14 YEARS OLD IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND ALSO WHY DOES EVERYONE LOVE IGNORING ME
#ignoring is my hate language. like it's the quickest way to drive me insane#hashtag daddy issues#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#well it's friday i guess I'm going home today#but man this shit is stressful#why can't i be like rafaela rafaela please teach me your ways#i just wanna sit in my room and read fanfiction all day tbh
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Weird having an actual favorite band and knowing it. I don't really have many favorites it is hard to understand my feelings and even harder to pinpoint a 'better and more' feeling about one specific thing. But I know all of their songs, I listen to them all in a big playlist and never get bored, I am always happy to hear any song by them, I have every song's lyrics memorized, like ... they are my unequivocal favorite. There is nothing like it. Yes, I can get really into other songs, there are probably singular songs I can say I like more than any one song by this band. But I guess having a favorite is like what people say about getting married. I'm not explaining myself on that one actually I do have a point there that's an actual metaphor but I've decided explaining it is a bad use of my time. It's one of those artists that are popular enough and artsy enough that they can crop up as fic titles occasionally and no matter the lyric or song it comes from I can always tell immediately. I don't remember what the point of this post was I'm deep in my panic phase and it's 4 am and I was just sitting there singing I Have Made Mistakes to myself bc I can just do that, the whole song, and because it is very funny to go I have made mistakes I have made mistakes and I will continue to make them while in the middle of freaking the fuck out about existing or something. Bc you know yeah im one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair in fire because if I'm kindling for a little while at least I'll feel of use ????????? Yeah this post for sure had a point and it's devolved.
#tide of consciousness#Sorry that's a lot of text wow#Can we talk about the existential panic. I've been dying to talk about the existential panic#<- doesn't talk about it#Does anyone else get this. The feeling that is like the world is ending and its drowning and burning and it burns and nothing will ever beo#My best guess is I just have anxiety but it is very hard to believe that bc it feels so all consuming and terrifying and so so so much so m#The worst part is I'm not actually even feeling it I'm just sitting here using words that I know describe it bc it's like it just#Is happening. Behind a wall. And I'm here feeling the heat on the doorknob#Translating between the space where the feeling exists and the space where I reside#At some point I just go oh. I've been experiencing the world-ending terror for hours now#Like reading a letter!!!!!!!!! I just get a letter from my brain that goes 'emotions report. It all burned down years ago'#It's like and I know if I was in it I'd be crying and shaking and despairing so deeply and throwing myself around the room#And I feel like this EVERY OTHER DAY. Which is obviously why I apparently partitioned myself away from the feeling#Because you literally just you can't function with that#But surprise it's still there actually and I'm still having 2 breakdowns minimum a week#But now it looks like I'm normal and functioning to everyone else#So I seem like a horrible lazy fucking asshole who doesn't do anything but sit around accomplishing maybe 3? 4? Total minor tasks per day#Because I can't HANDLE ANYTHING ELSE !!!#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIX THIS#This is for sure something I shouldn't post but you know that's a rational thought for rational people
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The guilt I feel rn
#I want to bomb my moots fics with all the positive feedback!#I can't#what is wrong with me#I want to but I can't#there's too much.#Why do you have that many#Or why is it all sad?#It's overwhelming#especially nats because there's just an overwhelming amount of it#she write amazing!#I see her recent ones#I'm afraid I can't show that I love it as clear as I do with another person#I want to read nikis too#But my body. my mind refuses#I guess only zehina gets that treatment#I am sorry#what is wrong with me.#I know they're like the most sweetest and like amazing people and that I want to read but I can't#I am so burnt out#I guess I'm just that one kid who is just so burnt out and tired to do anything they want to do#I apologize#I want to read so much and give the love it deserves but my mind has other things planned#Like a damn mental break down#I can't even cry cuz it's night and my family is home#my dad is in the bathroom#my sister in my room#kitchen and livingroom occupied#What did I do honestly#I want to read I want to write#What did I do
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I started following you for your excellent succession takes and you can imagine my immense delight when you started posting excellent iwtv takes as well! :D
If you have them, i would love to hear more of your thoughts on armand. Do you think the lestat flashback version of him and their relationship is going to be anything like the version louis and armand presented? What would you like to see them to with him next season?
Ah! Thank you, anon! You're lovely, haha.
Mm, yeah, I think Lestat's account of their relationship is going to be fairly different, but I don't think it'll be entirely different from Armand's account either? Like there's enough there that feels rooted in the book - like Armand kidnapping Nicki to bait Lestat out, and Lestat's involvement in the destruction of the Children of Satan cult, and Armand's feelings about that, plus their mutual attraction to each other - that I don't think will drastically change in Lestat's recount, although, of course, Armand's deliberately leaving Gabrielle out is hilarious.
This is spoilers for the book, so heads up, but one of the things that I do think will be changed from Lestat's POV is that he and Armand had sex. They almost have sex in the books, and definitely have a strong connection and mutual attraction to one another, but the scene where they almost consumate is such a pivotal scene in demonstrating the fact that Lestat's still traumatised from Magnus which Rolin's expressly said that he wants to explore. Like Lestat's genuinely into it until he gets pretty explicitly triggered and then Armand tries to drink from him anyway (sorry again for the crappy photos, my copy of TVL is conveniently still on my desk, haha):
Armand making a point in 2.03 of telling Daniel that Lestat had made a 'remarkable recovery' from his turning before going into all the great sex he and Lestat had feels pretty pointed to me, and I'd be surprised if they veered much from the book as a result. How they decide to explore that is anyone's guess though.
What would I like to see them do with him next season? I really want to get some juicy Children of Satan cult flashbacks, haha. I love the sequence in the books where Armand and Lestat and Gabrielle are kind of circling each other in Paris, and Armand's struggles with his own identity and emptiness. There's also this beat where he and Lestat connect over the fact that nobody has ever loved them enough to teach them anything, which to me is such a poignant and compelling aspect of their connection, and really feeds into this sense of who he is in the modern era.
Armand's about as good at being alone as Lestat is, so I think there's a lot of fun to be had there too with Daniel and Lestat being on tour together, and I kind of love the idea that he might be bouncing between fixations on people as he tries find something to really hold onto. I don't know though! What would you like to see?
#i actually just re-read that section of the book the other night anon so it was very fresh in my head#good timing haha#armand's a pretty major part of lestat's flashbacks so i think we do have more of a sense of what his role will be than louis'#also excited for assad because he gets some really meaty stuff in those flashbacks too and i can't wait to see him in them#but i'm verrrrry curious as to what they do with him in the modern timeline#armand asks#lestat asks#iwtv s3 speculation#cw sa#iwtv asks#that scene happening too and then armand asking lestat and gabrielle if he can leave paris with them like sir read the room lol#gabrielle being like absolutely fucking not is totally why he wrote her out of his fanfic lmao
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me before: wow I'm not nervous about my appointment at all, cool!
me in the waiting room: hm I wonder why I can't stop shaking, and sweating like I'm running a marathon, and feeling like I'm about to die
#waiting rooms are the worst thing on earth#evil#I don't understand how people can read magazines or whatever in waiting rooms#I'm so on edge I can't do anything but stare at my phone#I'm not doing anything. just staring. to have something to do (looking at my homescreen (jake with his weird stone))#I also have only slept 2 hours. and was 2 minutes late. and almost scraped the door of the car next to mine with my car door trying to get#out of the car because everyone just HAS to park like shit#so that is not helping#but fuuuck I am so shaky it's insane#ALSO don't have a watch because my smartwatch doesn't work (right) with my new phone and. I have no idea where I put my analog ones.#and I HATE not wearing a watch. it's actually terrifying. no idea why but. always been that way.
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not me, a 26-year-old woman, having nearly a full on breakdown when my mom asks if any of my dad's history books are special to me. she didn't mean anything by it, and i didn't think when i sat down and started to look through them but ugh, i nearly started sobbing and felt like i couldn't breathe at the idea of getting rid of any of them. it's fine, mom, if i can't get rid of any by the time i move out, i'll just take them all.
#· ooc » entranced by navy burnout silk velvet#i have a few in my room already because i've read them and was like ah yes dad's and good book#but the rest downstairs i haven't made it through yet so i just sat there staring like#how could i pick out any of them#dad bought and kept them for some reason#how could i... how could i just toss them back into the world without seeing why?#ngl crying right now in my room even thinking about it#he already gave me a few of his international relations books before he died when he was trying to sort through his books to clear them out#the rest weren't that good and he didn't need them#but he kept all of these history books#i can't... i don't even know if i'll be able to read them all but i can't#it's almost been a year and i can't
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