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donnerpartyofone · 1 year ago

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your posts about self esteem were really interesting. I hope you don't mind if I ask, but do you struggle with empathy? I've got friends in psychology who say self compassion is correlated to compassion for others, so often low empathy = poor self image. Social skills are often hampered by conditions like autism, and compassion is social.

Thank you for this provocative question, anon! I like that you say those posts were "interesting" instead of like, sad or delusional or something. I had to start blocking people who were compelled to tell me what to think or how to feel about myself, or who thought they were helping by denying the nature of what I was reporting. A few people recently had a more thoughtful or inquisitive reaction and I found that really refreshing.

Apologies in advance for this long dissertation on ME, but I'm glad you asked this specific question because it relates to something that came up recently that I think is important to talk about. More below the break so I don't ruin everyone's dash.

First of all I think I do not struggle with empathy; if anything I seem to have a hyperactive sensitivity to other people's moods and dispositions. One of the reasons parties are hard for me is that it takes a lot of energy to be immersed in other people's, uh, "vibes" or "auras"--please don't take anything mystical from my word choice, it's just hard to describe otherwise. I start syncing with other people to make myself less weird and off-putting (who knows how much I'm succeeding!), and then I need a lot of solitude to get back to my baseline. I'm very concerned with how other people feel, which is why I've been so good in hospitality-related jobs. But I'm sure this is related to the fact that I have major boundary issues, I get so hung up on how other people (seem to) feel that it can make it hard for me to assert myself until someone has pushed me way over the edge.

But I guess there's a limit re: the "reading social cues" bit. I *think* I read the room pretty well most of the time (I must! For my survival!), but I have a history of taking people at their word too much and not noticing that someone has bad intentions until it's too late. Maybe there's a certain amount of literalism going on. Like a really simple example is, I have a hard time with the concept of being "fashionably late"; if a party starts at 8, I will arrive anxiously right at 8, and there's a good chance that I will get there at like 7:57 and lurk on your front steps until the clock turns 8 BECAUSE YOU SAID 8, YOU MUST HAVE MEANT 8. I have finally learned that nobody really likes this unless they're my best friend or something, but I can't tell myself "Just relax and get there when you get there," that's too confusing, I have to say "We will now arrive at 8:20 because this is the secret code of party start times." That's a benign sort of dysfunction, but another version of that is, my boyfriend says he loves me and he doesn't want to break up. Actually he cheats on me all the time and screams at me and scares me, but because he like *technically* loves me and doesn't want to break up because that's what he literally said, my stupid brain thinks that's the rule and the other manifestations of his feelings must be anomalous, and then I'm in a really bad relationship for a long time because I just don't see the subtext until I'm really being beaten over the head with it. There have been a lot of times where I acted like I was legally obligated to come to an understanding of what someone else thinks and feels, when it would have been more rational to say, "This person is being an asshole, it doesn't matter why, I'm ditching."

I *think* this is related to your question about empathy, sorry if I'm being crazy.

So now for your question about self-compassion: I'm grateful for your prompt because I just had an argument about this with someone I love, and I don't think I did a good job of explaining it. I've also fielded some other feedback around these parts that was suggestive of the same idea, which is like: If I say that Behavior X is a crime when I do it, it must mean that Behavior X is an equally punishable crime when someone else does it, so therefore it is rude and inhumane of me to be mad at myself. This argument is missing a consideration of both context, and what exactly criminalizes Behavior X. The first note to make is that Behavior X is usually something that is NOT destructive when it happens just once in a while, innocently--but It becomes a big problem when it happens all the fucking time, like an infestation. If I "innocently" fumble something 50 times a day, that has a much more destructive effect than you making the same mistake just-sometimes. But let's say you DO make the same mistake a lot, so you still feel accused by my personal self-loathing. Now we get to the more important question of what or who is affected by the behavior. I feel sorry for people whose quirks and compulsions and such make their lives hard, obviously I relate! However, if those people came to my house and started doing their quirks and compulsions TO ME, then that's a different thing entirely.

Let's do some examples: If I complain about my weight, that's not the same as saying all fat people suck. What I'm really complaining about is the impact of weight on my own life, the negative effect on my social currency, my inability to find comfortable and attractive clothes, etc. I'm complaining about having to fight with doctors who think BMI gives them a free pass not to treat people, and also about genuine health problems I might struggle with. So my feeling about my own weight really has nothing to do with my feelings about other people's weight, I'm really reacting to my own personal discomfort, which is related to a whole complex of things, but none of those things is truly equivalent to complaining about fat people in general. Similarly, when I complain here about being stupid, I'm not assigning a moral quality to human stupidity, I'm really complaining about the effect of my personal stupidity on my own life. I do believe that there must be something cognitive or neurological going on with me so maybe I can't totally help what I'm like, but I find it impossible not to react to how my own stupidity makes it extremely hard to get through my day. It makes it scary to wake up in the morning. There are so many normal things that I either have to do over and over and over again, or that someone else actually has to do FOR me, which is humiliating and makes me feel hopeless (even though I'm glad for the help because what would I do without it?). Sometimes my life feels like fucking Groundhog Day, it feels like I'm achieving a fraction of what a normal person does in a lifetime, because everything takes me so many tries or is impossible to ever get past. I feel sorry for other people who go through the same stuff, but to me, that's totally separate from how I feel about myself. I hate myself NOT because I am a certain kind of person or because I did something that is objectively a sin, but because I, personally, am the reason I'm suffering and failing. This is not at all abstract or generalizing, it's something I'm forced to deal with, materially, every day. It's just too much to ask, for me to pity myself every single time I fuck myself over yet again. What can I say, I'm not a saint!

So I hope that sort of addresses your question! One of the reasons I get so upset when someone tries to make excuses for my behavior, or suggests that I am just exaggerating because I'm down on myself, is that if I can't have honesty about what goes on with me, then I can't ever get clarity about WHY this stuff is going on. If I agree to the premise that the 25 bad, destructive things I did today were "just because" I was distracted, or flustered, or overworked, or it was an innocent mistake, or it was someone else's fault, or it was a random coincidence, or an act of god, or I just need to learn the right way, or I just need to try harder, or I just have to have a better attitude, et al ad nauseum--that is, if I accept excuses instead of acknowledging a persistent pattern, then I might not ever get to the point of having a useful, explanatory diagnosis like ADHD or autism or...whatever is specifically going on with me. And I mean whatever happens, I WILL always try harder to improve myself, even if sometimes that feels like not learning from history. But it's becoming kind of obvious that a lot of the arguments I have with people could probably be cut off at the pass if I had a note from a doctor that said SEE? I'M REALLY JUST LIKE-THIS. I don't know what I'm going to do about that, with the Adderall shortage and what I'm told is the difficulty of getting an adult autism diagnosis. And like I'd hate to test for autism (or whatever) and have it come back ambiguous, it might make me feel like I'm "just fucking stupid" and I don't have a real problem, and it could also be problematic for these conversations I keep having with people who think I'm basically imagining the whole thing and just being "hard on myself". But I don't know, I think diagnosis may become a bigger focus for me in 2024.

Anyway. Thanks for reading this monstrosity if you did, and thanks for being thoughtful about my depression posting. It's refreshing.

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ricomola · 2 years ago

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that commission of Tsukishima and Chiyo have me sobbing oh my god... I love the idea of Tsukishima having a family of his own and unlocking all his emotions because of it. even when he was looking after all the crazy people in the 7th division, he was mostly just tired and would go along with almost anything. it's proof that they're close when his kids can bring out his "mad" side (that they know isn't really that serious).

still I imagine he'll get teary eyed over little things... not super often, but sometimes something sneaks up on him. like maybe he'll see one of his kids make a facial expression that makes them look exactly like Chiyo did when she was little, and it gets him. I think he'd become more used to those little moments over time... his oldest child would probably have the most memories of him getting choked up like that, so maybe she'd be close to him in a way that's just a little bit special. like she kind of has a sixth sense about when to go give her dad a hug, even if he's not the type to ask for one.

I wonder... how do you imagine Koito fitting in this situation? I'd love to imagine that he'd still be close.

Yeah, I don't want to forget that the Tsukishima we know and love is actually depressed (functional but barely alive). When I imagine him as a youngster or next to Chiyo or in a modern AU with Koito he is closer to being his real version. Maybe he enjoys things on a deeper level or shows more emotions and sense of humor (I think he's not stoic, just numb).

I do imagine that he has used a very mild form of corporal punishment at some point. Not cute but it's 1910. Maybe one was being a brat to Chiyo or maybe one of them did something illegal while playing outside and Tsukishima chose to mildly punish them himself so the authorities would see and let it slide like "Ok, the father is putting those brats in place, less work for us" or something.

About affection, I agree with you, Tsukishima is not the type to ask for it but the youngest kids are playful so he often finds himself roughhousing and having a lot of fun after some provocations xD and then feeling embarrassed if someone happens to see them. He's like "what the hell is a grown up like myself doing??" and go serious-adult mode xD Now, Tsukishima and his oldest girl are close and have a special relationship but it's not sweet and clingy like it is with the second girl. Oldest girl is tough, serious and smart so she often talks back and banters with him. They do have the deepest conversations and the most meaningful memories tho.

Hmm...Koito? Everything is possible in AUs. In this timeline I think he became a farmer after returning from war so if he met Koito they wouldn't be comrades. The first situation I imagine is...Koito still works for Tsurumi and Tsurumi secretly wants to use Tsukishima for the gold hunt so he plots a whole situation so that he can look like an ally to him when in reality he'd have his family borderline hostage to make sure he doesn't back up. So upon bonding with Tsukishima and his family Koito would eventually question Tsurumi's actions like "Is this really necessary? Would I be capable of harming this family if I was ordered to??". A situation similar to what happened with Inkarmat in another timeline, i guess. And of course in my happy head I'd make Koito choose to lowkey betray Tsurumi to spare Tsukishima's family. And just like the canon series I wouldn't make their relationship canon romantic so the fans become obsessed and ship them xDDDDD I DON'T SUPPORT TSUKISHIMA CHEATING ON CHIYO. HE LOVES HER. Make it consensual. Make it an OT3 xD.

#please don't make me barf ideas #golden kamuy #tsukishima hajime #au #what should I call it?#dad tsukishima au???? xD #long long rant

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snowflake-of-destruction · 10 months ago

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I absolutely love Helluva Boss and will absolutely take a chance to ramble about that too at first provocation.

Like I said, Velvette’s annoyance and the boytoy comment are completely valid reasons to think she and Val don’t get along as well. Until season two (hopefully) shows more interaction between The Vees, it’s all just open to interpretation.You make a good point too about Velvette presumably needing Val for the potions and that advertisement, by its nature of being posed, doesn’t really show anything.In the end, you can just read or not read into whatever you want. The messages though! I’m glad I won you over, because we see Val short tempered with just about everyone and Velvette has no problem with showing it very clearly when she doesn’t want to put up with someone, and so the hearts and only friendliness for each other actually does seem to say something.

….Though now you have me thinking about Val and Velvette who don’t get along, pretending to be nothing but hearts and praise in messages because they know Vox is spying on their phones and reading their messages and they don’t want to be lectured again).

Are the Vees in a poly relationship? Isn’t that the prize winning question. My heart says yes, I like the idea, but I don’t think canon points either way what Velvette’s attitude beyond business partnership and general positive feelings.

It is possible that the Vees existed before Velvette, but she joined long enough ago that it is dismissed that she wasn’t always a part I guess, but we see a lot of the overlords stuck in the way things have always been done or the own time when they died even if they make some allowances for change and Velvette seems so much more newly dead than Valentino (1970s) that I assumed that Vox and Val had decades without her in the picture and she would be seen as “new” for a longer time than would be reasonable if we weren’t talking about near immortals. Though I guess if her thing was cell phones (first ones in the 80s) like you said and not social media like I assumed (early 2000s at the earliest and I usually think of her as even newer), she could be older. Plus, technically, we don’t even know if she brought either to hell. Technically she is the fashion overlord….and even that may be a fan assigned title. I don’t know.

Everything you said sounds reasonable and realistic too.

I’m glad I was able to point out something new with the (possible) Alastor wing of the tower. I would guess he said no because he didn’t agree with their tactics or he wanted to make sure that when he took over hell it was all on his own and not as part of a team (Jokes on him, ended up on the hotel team, Alastor Altruist)

I feel like they asked Alastor because Vox wanted it. Like you pointed out, the other two don’t seem bothered by Alastor either way. As Valentino put it to Vox, ‘Killing Alastor is your kink” and I would think that wanting Alastor on the team was mostly Vox too.

The “you” you stressed is super interesting to me because it’s “us” when “He owes US much more than money” (what does that mean??) and then you with “almost beat YOU last time” (Why was Vox fighting alone if it was “us” already? And was this right before the seven year absence or longer back?)

Val was involved just enough to add a little commentary on Vox's drawing making fun of Alastor. No more

I think if Vox had declared war on Alastor it would have been gossip amongst the overlords. Zestial brings up rumors that Alastor was killed by angels/exterminators but you would think that if Vox and Alastor were publicly beefing before Alastor went missing that Vox making Alastor disappear would have been a rumor too (and that Angel, for all the time he spends with the Vees, wouldn’t have had to ask who Alastor was/would have recognized him if he was “the enemy”)

I think Vox may have attacked him privately though. Teleported through electronics to surprise him with a sneak attack? And that’s how Alastor knew to crush the watch in episode 2 of the show, because it had happened before? That would also explain why it was just a “you” and not an “us” fighting.

Vox so caught up in his hate boner that he teleported without backup.

I am really curious how the V’s came to existence. Like, was it a duo and then a trio? Or did they meet at a gathering and just decided to team up?

I couldn’t find when Velvette died on the wiki, but Val died in the 1970s and Vox in the 1950s. Since Velvette is mostly involved with social media and phones, I would like to think that she died after Val. From that point of view, it would be most likely that Val and Vox first teamed up. (Maybe they fucked first, maybe the business was first, who knows)

Then, Vox asked Alastor (died in 1933) to join them, which wasn’t a completely strange choice, because the radio and tv are connected. But he said no. Then Velvette came to hell, and I would almost like to say that she introduced phones but I can’t know that for sure. But anyway, phones and tv’s are also similar, so Vox asked her to join.

And Velvette accepted because it was a helluva offer. That would also explain why Val en Velvette don’t seem to like each other that much.

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fablesofkitkat · 3 years ago

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pov: keeping it casual with Shiggy and Dabi

warning: suggestive / lime af

DISCLAIMER: this doesn't belong to the [Cherry, I run] timeline nor [can the world cease to exist?] timeline. I didn't want to write this pov because I felt like I haven't done enough character analysis on both Shiggy and Dabi to write them in the same pov; but a friend told me if I keep pussyfooting over writing two characters at once, how can I practice versatility in writing?

everyone is in LEGAL AGE in this pov.

if you want me to tag you on any Dabi povs or Shigaraki povs I'll write, let me know

"You look like you're the life of a party."

Shigaraki takes a side glance at you and a subtle scan to your body. His eyes lighted with curiousity and appreciation with your choice of outfit: a high neck tank top mesh, a dark indigo fitch lace bralette, a black high waisted skirt that hugged your hips nicely and black stilettos.

"And you look like you're going to church." He gave you a smile, turning his whole body to you.

You and Shigaraki were both seated on the bar stools. There were still alot of seats available, not that it was still early, it's just that it isn't midnight yet and clubgoers were only starting to get in. He takes a sip from his drink, tasting the whiskey followed by a hint of sweetness, mixed with herbal, bitter notes.

You giggled. "Amen to that."

It was always nice to meet someone who understands sarcasm, you thought. Your eyes roamed his form appreciatively, his long sleeved shirt fitted him nicely and there was something so charismatic about the man, you couldn't quite put a finger on.

"Sazerac?" He offered, gesturing to his drink. You nodded and he waves the bartender down, buying it for you. "Tell me something, church little miss. Why me?"

"Hmm?" You distractedly watch the bartender prepare your drink.

"You're planning on sleeping with me. Why?" He takes another sip. "We both know interactions like this don't end as innocent."

You demuredly smiled at him, an enticing provocation when you're dressed ready to f–

"I didn't want those guys at the dance floor who grinds themselves all over me. I want someone different, a little intellectual stimulation." You tilt your head and leaned towards him; your lips curled in a secretive smile. "A little foreplay, ya think?"

A bolt of heat shoots all over Shigaraki. It must be the sazerac. He's gotta admit that your boldness is quite attractive to him.

"You ever had it good?"

You snapped your eyes back to his. He caught you staring at his groin. To be fair, you were curious with his... package."What?" You asked, smiling seductively.

He cocks his head to the bartender. "The drink. Sazerac."

You flushed, thinking he was talking about sex. Now you're just embarrassed. "Oh, what do you mean?"

Shigaraki leans close to you like how you did earlier. Like sharing a little secret. His breath smells like whiskey, with hints of cherry and spice. A dry sardonic aroma. Dammit, why does the scent turn you on?

He cups your chin with his right hand, the texture of his thumb sleeve brings goosebumps to you. He turns your head to the bartender. "After mixing the sazerac to one of the glass, the other is rinsed with absinthe before finally pouring the drink to it. If the bartender doesn't do that when you order a sazerac, hop to a different bar."

You watch the bartender do exactly what he just said. You feel his thumb sleeve coyly touching the edge of your bottom lip, slowly following the curve of your chin, down to the curve of your throat, he pressed the spot aligned with your vocal fold that you let out a little gasp, or a squeak. His other hand is grabbing your thigh, preventing your legs from closing to relieve some of the ache.

"Ah-ah-ah." His voice deep but sing-song. "You don't get to close your legs with me here."

---

Dabi was randomly watching himself blow circles to the ceiling in the smoke room. When he hears the door slide open and you appeared, trying to catch your breath. He took an observation at you and found himself attracted to the way your chest heaved. Not that it wasn't a common sight for him, what with women flocking towards him whichever club he went to. He blew a circle in your direction, meeting your eyes critically. He smiled at the snooty, upturned nose you did and the way you rolled your eyes.

"This is the wrong place to try and catch a breath." He greeted.

"I wasn't trying to catch my breath." You patted your chest, slowly getting your breaths to slow down.

He raised an eyebrow at your reply.

"Yes, I was. But I was trying to run from a creep who wouldn't take no for an answer and you're pretty intimidating, so I was hoping to bum on your presence 'til he's gone." You explained.

Dabi couldn't stop staring at how, despite being seen disheveled just now, you casually primped yourself with a compact mirror. It amused him so since no one really cared what people looked like after spending a few hours at the club, usually everyone would be a hot mess. He found you cute.

"What's in it for me?" He drew a breath from the shisha and blew it again lazily at you.

You eye him critically, pursing your lips. "My wonderful company."

"So I get to take you home?"

"No. My company is only available within the duration of my stay here."

"Pity." With mocking a tone, he smirked at you. "But then again, you seem like you're too vanilla anyways. Can't have sex without being in love with someone?"

Dabi watches how your eyes glinted menacingly, a silent vow to prove him wrong. He anticipates how you crossed the room from the door to him, his heart jumped when your fingers brushed his as you took the pipe from his hand. You took a deep long breath, leaned down and blew sweet, sweet smoke in his mouth. He closed his eyes as the tobacco filled his nostrils, along with your scent. It takes everything in him to just let the smoke trail all over his mouth, and not let his lips press against yours.

" Your many piercings seem like you're overcompensating for something. What, you don't want people to know you're the one who's actually vanilla?"

He opens his eyes and a lazy smirk settles on his lips. He grabs the pipe back and blows the smoke to your mouth just hairsbreadth from you. "Why don't we find out then?"

You feel the way the air moved with his lips. It was so close. It was electric. His eyes daring you to close the distance. You took up his challenge of course.

---

"Oh, ffuuuck." You awkwardly stand by the door when you find Shigaraki and Dabi glaring at each other in the living room

"Who the fuck is he?" Dabi demanded

Shigaraki only glares at him and then turns towards you.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Uhmm Dabi meet Shigaraki, my fubu. Shigaraki meet Dabi, my not-serious bf which basically is just another word for fubu." You awkwardly shuffled your feet. "I guess I had too much to drink, I accidentally texted the other and here you are... two... Hahaha..." Kami, you just made a huge awkward mistake. Dammit, you're gonna lose them both.

"Which one of us did you text first?" Shiggy asked.

"Which one does it better?" Dabi asked.

They exchanged glares at their simultaneous questions.

"Um–"

Suddenly, they are both on you; Shiggy cups your face, kissing you angrily, biting your lips til they bleed while Dabi is behind you, cupping your chest as he slowly takes off your clothes. Dabi kisses the spot behind you're neck, nipping your skin 'til there's all but teeth marks on your shoulder blades.

"I'm not stopping–" Both glared at each other for saying things at the same time again.

You moaned when Dabi starts press his hips on you while Shigaraki's hands unbutton your jeans, and finally touching you there.

"We're not stopping–" Dabi's hot breath fanned your right ear.

Shigaraki's low quiet rasp on your left ear. "–not until you know which one of us can do you better."

---

AN:

[Cherry, I run] Dabi is screaming betrayal at me rn. Dw Dabi, this version of you has less issues than usual. [can the world cease to exist?" Shiggy is ignoring me, telling me he wouldn't share reader. ever.

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charliedawn · 4 years ago

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Imagine being Spike's closest friend/advisor in love with him and him being completely oblivious about it

" Spike ! Where are you ?! We need to talk to you !"

You find the vampire in his crypt, his eyebrows barely raised in surprise.

" Y/N. Buffy. What a surprise ? So, what can I do for you on this fine evening ?"

He says with a small sarcastic smile. Buffy rolls her eyes and sits in front of him with her arms crossed.

" We need your help."

Suddenly, his eyes lit up in curiosity and the corners of his lips raise up a notch.

" The hunters want my help ? Well..Isn't that good news ?! Oh goodie ! I get it that my head gets to stay attached to my body another day.."

You sigh, not because of his sarcastic answer you had grown accustomed to, but because you know that deep down ? He is truly excited. His brain already calculating how to turn this situation to his advantage.

" So, what's the job ? Vampires ? Demons ? Witches ?.."

He asks with the back of his head resting on his hands and waiting for Buffy or you to spill the beans.

" Vampires. In your territory. We know you've been hiding some of them.."

Buffy cuts straight to the point and Spike arks an eyebrow, smiling innocently.

" Sorry. Can't help you. I don't know what you're talking about..Maybe you got the wrong vampire for once ?"

Buffy raises an eyebrow as well before crossing her arms on her chest expectantly.

" Blond ? Spiky hair ? Dark and brooding ? Nah. I think we got the right one. Now, where are they hidden ? Spill it out, or you get the stake."

She gets her stake out to show that she is serious, but Spike only chuckles as he stands up to look down at the slayer, his shirt barely protecting his ribcage frown the sharp end of the stake.

" Is that a threat or a promise ?"

You can see that Buffy is biting her lower lip, she is actually tempted to ask Spike for a moment after this..But then her eyes fall on you, and she knows that she can't do it. Not now. Not when she knows that you've fallen for him. Spike and her have passion, he is amazing in bed of course..but what you feel for him, it makes her think of what she feels for Angel. She can't do it. She takes a step back, but it's Spike that takes a step forward to whisper seductively in her ear.

" What do you say, if I help you, you give me a kiss ?"

You grit your teeths and finally snap, you take him by the shoulder to spin him around and punch him in the face. His eyes widen significantly in shock as he doesn't understand. You realize too late what you've done and take a couple of steps backwards before apologizing.

" I..I'm sorry. I need to go."

You run outside of his crypt and Spike turns towards Buffy for an explanation.

" What's gotten into her ?!"

Buffy sighs loudly in exasperation before answering the question of the perplexed vampire.

" You're an idiot, Spike. She likes you."

Spike doesn't seem to understand and frowns before repeating incredulously.

" She..She what ?"

Buffy pinches the bridge of her nose between her index and thumb, wondering how the vampire could be so daft sometimes.

" She. Loves. You. Spike."

She finally says. But, the vampire only blanks out for a moment before stammering again, wondering if he heard her right.

" I..I beg you pardon ? Her ? Me ? No. Can't be."

He shakes his head negatively and Buffy rolls her eyes before taking him by his black coat to push him forward.

" Go talk to her, you idiot ! Before you lose her !"

He is about to go when Buffy sighs again as he seems lost. She grabs his arm and asks him with a worried frown.

" Wait. What are you going to do ?"

He shrugs before getting out of her grip and replying with a small provocative smile.

" I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again."

Buffy's eyes widen, but before she could stop him, he's already gone. She only humphs disapprovingly before crossing her arms again.

" Don't blow it, Spike.."

She mutters before turning around to go search for the rest of the hidden vampires on her own.

You are running with glassy eyes, filled with tears. You know that your action was rash, impulsive..You can't even explain why you had acted like that. It wasn't you. You continue to run aimlessly and blindly through the tombstones until you hit something and fall backwards. When you open your eyes again, you see that you had collided with a man, a vampire to be exact, that smiles evilly as he looks down at you.

" Well well..Dinner is served it seems."

You look around frantically for your stake, but just as you are about to grab it, the vampire spots it first and stomps on it, breaking it in two. He then grabs you by the throat and seems amused by your attempts to breathe. You try to wiggle out of his grip and scream, but he covers your mouth and laughs darkly as he recognizes you.

" And not any dinner..A hunter at that..I've seen you run around with the other slayer in and out of Spike's crypt. Where are your friends now, slayer ?"

You feel your heart quicken as he opens his mouth wide. You close your eyes, but then a familiar voice interrupts the moment.

" Turn around."

The vampire has just the time to turn around that Spike stakes him. You hear his scream, but are too tired to open your eyes. Spike is by your side in a minute and carries you in his arms.

" Hey ! Stay with me, slayer ! You hear me !"

His voice is the last thing you hear before blacking out. Spike carries you back to the Summer household where Buffy quickly takes care of you. He wants to stay by your side, but Buffy gives him a stern look.

" Don't you dare, Spike. You are not welcomed in this house. This is all your fault. I don't want to see you ever again."

She slams the door in his face and her words sting him deeply, more than he cares to admit. But, he understands her anger and turns around to return to his graveyard. However, he lets out a shaky sigh first before looking up at your bedroom window. He can't even count the times you had opened your window for him, even when you knew how dangerous and unstable he was. Spike doesn't have any friends. But, if he could call someone that ? It would certainly be you.

The moment you wake up, you look around to see that night has fallen and Buffy is nowhere to be found. You don't wait for her before grabbing your vampire hunting gear and running outside to find Spike. You know that Buffy is going to be mad at you for meeting with him, but you have to tell him. Tell him that it wasn't his fault. Tell him that you had acted without thinking. Tell him that he is the only person who makes you laugh and brings a smile to your face when you're having a bad day. Tell him..Tell him..You have all those memories that suddenly come to you, memories of when Spike knew exactly when you needed to be cheered up and would stand in front of your window until you would allow him in. Memories of when he had scared the hell out of Buffy and Angel when paying you a visit and making them think that he was going to suck your mom's blood, only for you to intervene and save him..Memories that should be enough, enough for you to let go of him. Unfortunately, it only makes things worse, having to tell yourself every single day that what you are feeling is only a small crush, that it would go with time, only to come back stronger than ever every single time your eyes meet his. You finally get to the graveyard and stop when you see him, leaning against the door of his crypt, smoking, as if waiting for you.

He doesn't move, even though he heard you approach, and throws you one of his half-hooded glances that always makes your heart beat faster. That burning gaze, but so cold at the same time..Intense and sad, so very sad. You feel goosebumps forming on your skin at the simple eye-contact, and you haven't even spoken a word yet. Eventually, he smirks knowingly at you before throwing his cigaret to the ground and stomping on it.

" What do you want, newbie ? You came to check on me for Buffy ? Well, you can tell the slayer that I am still as dead as the day we met..Also, glad to see that you're still breathing. Not that I cared, but I wouldn't want the slayer to come knocking on my door, yelling how I killed her best friend."

He says with a mocking grin, but you're no fool. You see this gleam of hope in his eyes, hope that the other slayer is finally acknowledging him as a potential ally. Maybe knowing that Buffy is finally seeing in him someone dangerous enough to be looked after would mean that she would finally come knocking at his door with more than threats and insults ? Maybe she would even grow to like him ? Maybe..But, you know that it is only a dream. She would never love him. Ever. And no matter how dangerous or important he becomes, she would never consider him as anything but a threat, a nuisance. Sad. Especially since you know that he is a good man, but with a high taste for women that would never feel the same about him..

You sigh and answer with a small smile translating pity.

" No. I need your help."

He smiles, but you can still see the deception in his eyes.

" I see..And I guess that the slayer doesn't know you came here, does she ?"

You shake your head negatively and he sighs before leaning against a nearby tombstone.

" Fine. Tell me. Why would I help you ? Besides my usual loving kindness ?"

He sneers, but his eyes translate a certain curiosity as to why indeed you would set foot in his graveyard in the middle of the night. You walk forward until your noses nearly touch, your face a few inches away from him. Even if Spike can't breathe anymore, hasn't been able to for a long time, he can still feel his heart stop in his ribcage at your sudden closeness.

" W..What are you..?"

He starts, but is cut off by you slowly raising your hands on each side of his face. He closes his mouth in surprise and doesn't dare move, even when you lay your forehead against his.

" Here's what I want your help with, Spike. I want you to be happy, Spike. I don't care if you are a vampire, a demon, a monster..You stay someone who the Summer family learned to appreciate more than you know..You've helped them countless of times, more than anyone. Now, it's your turn. Let me help you. You need to concentrate on yourself. And I don't mean the emotionless cruel monstrous vampire with a tendency to speak in sarcasm, but Spike, the romantic poet, the sensitive artist, the one who speaks with his senses and who used to know how to see beauty everywhere.."

You trace your fingertips along the interior of his forearms, his biceps, his neck and end your path on his cheeks. You then see something akin sadness in his eyes. He's shaking and raises his own hands to take yours. He's finally letting his true emotions out and looks up at you with all the misery he feels painted in his beautiful dark eyes. And you smile, knowing that it is the true Spike that you are now facing..

" Here he is. The true Spike..William."

You say while tenderly stroking his cheek. However, he suddenly kneels on the ground, his head hanging low as he cries out.

" She'll never love me like this ! She loves the other me. The bad guy. The heartless vampire. The monster that makes her feel in danger and who is useful to her ! I have no choice. Otherwise, she would have discarded of me a long time ago..She wouldn't even have spared me a second glance before staking my heart !..Not that she hasn't already.."

You look at him with eyes full of sadness before kneeling in front of him. You then force him to look up at you and say without an ounce of hesitation.

" Then, she is the monster."

His eyes widen at your words and you grab him by the arms to force him to stand up with you as you explain.

" Think about it. She is killing someone by preventing you to be yourself. She's killing William, only leaving Spike. At the end, she would have stolen your heart and your life. Let's face it, Buffy will kill you if you are willing to give her everything you are. The true question is, will you let her when the time comes, or will you fight ?"

He clenches his jaw as he stares at you, wondering why you would be so determined for him to live ? Could what Buffy said be true ? He shakes his head..No. It couldn't be. He finally answers you with a sorrowful resolution.

" What is the point of living if love isn't there ?"

You suddenly frown and to his utter surprise, slap him. It takes a while for him to get over his shock, you take the opportunity to shake his ideas straight. You wouldn't let him die.

" Don't you ever say that again ! Ever ! Don't say such nonsense ! You've already fallen in love before, Spike. Three times. And you'll fall in love again ! Again and again ! You'll continue until you finally meet someone that will finally understand how extraordinary you are and how lucky they are to have you ! One day, you will get our of that grim graveyard and that day, you'll see Buffy for who she really is ! Just another woman that couldn't see the luck she had to have you ! Tall, handsome, downright dreamy guy with amazing hair !.."

He laughs at that last part and you smile, at least you could still make him laugh.

"..But you have to stop wanting to put an end to your life just because she was not the right one !"

Suddenly, Spike loses his smile and glares up at you before standing up and shouting angrily.

" When ?! Huh ?! When will I meet that miraculous person that will make my miserable life a bliss ?! I only fall in love with destructive women, cruel and manipulative temptresses ! Women that only use me or make me want to throw myself off a bridge ! I only know the dark chaotic love, the kind that makes you drown with the goddamn ship !"

His breathing quickens as he tells you his grief and curse. You wait patiently until he is finished before finally replying.

" Then, let's do it together."

Spike doesn't understand at first, he frowns in incomprehension at you while you intertwine your fingers with a smile, even with the tears that are rolling down your cheeks.

" Let's jump from a bridge together. Let's drown together. Let's die together if that's the price for you to love me.."

Spike finally understands and looks up at you with something new, close to pity but also linked with self-hatred for letting himself be moved by you, out of all people. He wanted Buffy to be here, saying those words..and yet, he can't help but be helpless as you utter those words, he wants to believe them so bad..but he can't. He knows you. He knows that you would do anything to help him, even pretend loving him. He wants to step back, run maybe..but you don't let him go. You would never let him go when you know that he may never come back..You insist, taking a step further towards him so he can see the determination in your eyes.

" Since neither of us will ever find love or peace. And since you have the firm intention to put an end to it all. Then let's do it together. This way, I'll stop waking up in the middle of the night, sweating and panting with only one thought: Is he okay ? That way, I won't have to stop myself from killing Buffy every time she tells me how much of an idiot Spike is to think she would ever love him. Or rush to warn you each time she says she's going to kill you..I want to stop loving you, Spike ! At least you are lucky to be able to live long enough to forget them or to find other soulmates out there ! Me ? I'm only human. I only have one chance. And turns out, he'll never be mine ! And I will never meet another one in my life ! So, be happy to be immortal and stop saying that you'll end your life ! Because I will never have peace until I know that you are going to keep living ! So, let's jump ! I have a stake, you have your inhuman strength. Tore me to pieces, break my neck, rip my heart right out of my chest..If I can't have you, and you can't have the one you want. If we can't love. Then, at least, let me die with you. I won't be able to live without you. So, please, let me help you..and help myself at the same time."

You sob and grab his hand to put it over your heart, so he can rip it from your ribcage if he so wishes. You are so upset that you don't feel his fingers closing on yours. When you raise your face with determination to tell him that you wouldn't let him die, you see him smiling: not his usual cold, sarcastic or mischievous smile. A genuine smile. One that thrills you and that makes you want to smile back. But what happens next is even better. He kisses you. He kisses you tenderly, a chaste kiss. He doesn't kiss you like Buffy, where the kiss is brutal, violent or even beastly, but a patient and soft velvety kiss. When he pulls away, you feel giddy and light-headed. You feel your cheeks warm up and your smile couldn't grow any wider. And Spike ? He softly laughs before smiling too and gently stroking your cheek.

" Six.."

He says in such a low voice that you nearly miss it.

" What ?"

He looks up at you and gives you a boyish grin.

" I fell in love six times. Not three. You forgot when I was still human.."

You know he is teasing you, but you still elbow him, which earns you a small chuckle.

" Womanizer.."

You finally call him and he gently wraps his arms around you before whispering near your ear almost sadly.

" But you're the only one who ever loved me back.."

You sigh before leaning against him. You stay like that for a while, until Spike asks.

" Could you please say it ?"

" Say what ?"

" You know.."

He seems almost embarrassed to ask and you finally understand.

" I'm always the one who says it first, and since I'm normally the only one who says it at the end..I would like to hear it first. Please."

" I love you."

You says with not an ounce of hesitation and he stares at you with deep black eyes and smiles, his eyes creasing enough to make some little wrinkles appear at the corner of his eyes. He's so happy that he asks you to repeat.

" I love you. I love you. I love you..And I'll say it again and again until you'll be tired of hearing it."

He tilts his head to kiss you again, and it's so true and beautiful that he asks himself how it's possible to be this happy ? Is that love ? The love that doesn't destroy but creates ? If it is, he wants it now and forever. He continues to kiss you and refuses to let go until morning. At last, Spike the Bloody and William the poet are both satisfied.

#buffy btvs #fandoms #imagine #fanfic #spike x reader #show: btvs

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aio-rya · 4 years ago

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Red Panda Headcanons

GN!Reader x Character

「Requested by: @kih-lux」

A/N: Kih~ you gave me the option and this was more focused to be a Male Reader but... It ended being more a Gender Neutral, I guess... I'll keep practicing.

・Floyd, Jade and Azul are ocean creatures, they know about hybrids and people like Ruggie, Leona and Jack, though they are aware there are other species, some of them are so rare and so unique it's far too difficult to have a chance of running into one of them. And, guess what? Yes, you were part of that category.

・"I've never seen one of your kind, why? Are you so rare? Are you from a far land? Wait, maybe you are... An endangered specie?". Be patient with the tweel, he has too many questions since his research hasn't been so long; you'll be pleased of helping him with that.

・Well, this couldn't result as you originally planned since Jade himself determined you were in nice shape, your body was as expected from a being half beast, half human. So, he decided you will be helping him on the Lounge too! So you could spend more time together, talking about you while working. Plus, he thought the contrast between your brune ears and tail made a nice contrast with the grey suit of Octavinelle.

・The curiosity soon transformed into interest, he started hanging out with you and even asked you to join his club! In fact, he thought you could enjoy it since your specie's homeland is a forest; you could help him learn from places he has never been before, though he would love to know if you remembered any sort of fungi of your homeland.

・Jade will be always respectful, asking before acting, having a special attraction for your tail and ears. He has seen things like those before, with Savanaclaw's dorm members, but you were specially cute for him. Since you had a special moment when you purred —because, yes, pandas actually purr.

・He loves the comparison you do about him being a bambu stick. His height is a bit far than yours so, when you hug him and tangle your tail on his legs it looks as if you were a red panda holding a bambu stick even though red pandas don't do that often.

・The Tweels are not used to cold, they prefer to stay on earth at winter, but that will not stop him from being warm with you. He loves your fur because of that, specially when you have sleepovers and you roll your tail against him to keep him warm.

・"What do we have here? A teddy bear?"; he will ask, mocking of you, looking at the cute red fur of your ears, caught by the white line on the side of them. You'd smile mischievously, sighing, not letting his height or his deep voice intimidate you, slowly approaching a couple of steps —instead of answering his provocation, you'll lift a hand, almost at the height of his face. "Ho... This herbivore has guts."

・"I'm no herbivore... Not at all", you'll answer, defending yourself as you show your retractile long, pointy claws to him. You'd swear everything you saw in his eyes at the moment was fear on its pure form, specially since you made this actually at his eyes' height. You'd dare to say you broke him but it'd be more accurate to tell you actually gained his respect.

・Well, your peculiar first meeting was just the beginning of what somehow became a love-hate friendship. Since he was the captain of your club and you shared more unexpected encounters than you'd have thought, you grew fond of each other; soon, going from one place to another together.

・Leona would question you a lot about your specie; he's used to carnivorous wild animals like Ruggie, like him or some cheetah or tiger hybrids, but you were a bit different. And even after you already explained him your situation, he would still mess around, giving you bambú sticks for snack between classes, just because he loves your upset expression and the way you wave your tail furiously and move your ears to the sides.

・You got to trust each other so far Leona sometimes dishevelled the fur of your cylindrical, thick tail; he was lot curious about it since it was far shorter than his very own. That meant, of course, you delighted yourself with payback; sometimes braiding the tip of his tail, or tangling his tie on a ribbon on it.

・Since you were both half animal, you knew exactly which points he'd like to be touched on. That was, somehow, cheating; specially when you found him angry and tried to make him relax, words wouldn't work so you'd stand behind him and caress his ears —of course you made him purr, you always do. That, suddenly, became an intimate thing only of you both.

・There's something Leona loves doing and not necessarily to bother you: paw your ears. For him, those are like marshmallows, the red fluff, more rigid and smaller than his own. He just melt for touching them, specially when you fall asleep because, yeah, pandas sleep as much as the Prince of Afterglow Savannah.

・He could not hide his surprise when he realised you were not completely human, you immediately caught his attention; furthermore, you were not a common specie, he deduced so by your smell. "Well, well... What do we have here? You look like Kingscholar but quite... Hm. Completely different."

・Malleus would come back to you often, some nights when he was trying to scape from his guards. But he will not arrive just like it; he will try to find some facts about you, ask you the less possible and make research by his own to know what you were, how to treat you? Until you became of more interest for him than your specie.

・Soon he discovered by your stories that you were alone too, still you had a family but your own specie was not very common, you made friends with another kind of hal-beasts and another species of pandas. That only made him to get attached to you, someone who could understand him!

・He got to hang out with you almost every night, reaching the point where he would go and look for you to your classrooms. Malleus thought at first you started fearing him too by the twitching of your ears, soon realising you just... Softened. The way you flattened your ears was signal of trust, you actually felt comfortable around him —you made the Heir of the Valley happy.

・As time passed by, you earned an inconditionnel friend, he would talk to you about almost anything you wanted to know while, in exchange, you taught him about your world, the "human" world. Soon, that became more physical, and now he pawed your ears when you leaned on his shoulder to listen at him and his tales.

・There were nights when he would take you to the castle's roof to talk more privately, or just to see the moon and the forest along the village in the distance. And many of those nights, you'd fall asleep, curled up against his legs with your tail swinging peacefully or just laying over your legs or hips; he would try to caress it, obviously not waking you up and, if you ever did, he will just blush and look away.

・You had your own tricks, sometimes when you went for a walk on the little forest around the castle, you climbed threes and hanged upside down trying to surprise him. Well... You even touched his horns. At first you were worried about him being mad but his laughter broke the tension on your shoulders. But of course, you had a tail and ears, so his payback was inevitable.

・"I have never seen someone liketh thee...", you heard the intrigue on his voice. He floated around you, upside down, analysing the visible characteristics that made you half an animal. When Lilia is curious, he's not very measured with his actions... Yeah, that means he will touch your fur.

・He'd love to study your reactions to many stimulus, so he will tease you in ways you can and cannot expect. Though you started being prepared, or at least a bit, you'd never anticipate when was he going to appear. You were basically on guard every time you were on the library or in the hallways until the final day came and he told you how interesting you were to him.

・You tried to do the same on him but the movement of your tail or even sometimes your little furry ears twitching will alert him of your presence. Since then, you both became almost inseparable; people could se him flying around you, upside down or just playfully, other times you just got to sit aside him but there were always laughter and smiles.

・Oh, true! He basically transformed you into a nocturnal creature. Once he introduced you into video-game's world, you started spending more time together, another fact reassuring him you were a panda: sleeping a lot on the evening, when classes or clubs were not taking place, and enjoying the night along him.

・That of course meant he must protect your ears from Sebek. His very own audition was sensible enough to be disturbed by the demi-fae loudness, but he was worried about you: since he knew you were a red panda and discovered pandas had developed very, very, very sensible ears due to not wanting to be hunted by predators, he would avoid having you and Sebek on the same room for too long.

・His protective instincts made their appearance. You seemed like a tender and lovely being for him, that was the reason why Lilia was concerned about you: even though you were half a human, most of your habits were of your animal part. He knew when you were sleepy and you tried to pretend you were not just to stay with him for a while, playing. He will, surprisingly, sing you a lullaby to make you sleep while he played one last round; keeping an eye on you, the way you curled up, the way your ears twitched.

・The way you met was... Amusing. Well, you see, one of your favourite spots for napping was the forest, the place where he usually made his patrols. Since his narcolepsy is always present, he tends to fall asleep in situations like this, what happened that day: he fell under your three and once you woke up together, you both got scared as hell.

・He started questioning you; why were you there? What were you doing? Who where you? You answered calmly, trying to calm him down since he was actually pointing at you with the sword. When he finished and put the blade down, you asked for him to answer the same question. And once you were aware of his condition, you understand everything and both bursted in laughter.

・There were to many incidental encounters with each other you ended up being friends. Sometimes you even went and looked for him deep in the forest, when you found him asleep you'll just sit by his side and read a book or play a bit with the animals surrounding him, usually birds. You cannot understand them, but when he woke up, he will always act as a translator for you.

・He had the opportunity of finding you asleep on the branch of a three or behind a rock, one of those times, curiosity took over him and he couldn't help but start petting you. Starting for your ears and your hair, getting startled when he heard you purring under his hand.

・Most of the time you surprised him at his night patrol, it was cold outside often, so you made a scarf for him. It matched with your tail and it was thick and furry too; your heart almost fell from your chest when you saw the happiness in his eyes. Now, when you were nap buddies, he will take it with him.

・He wanted to teach you something about him too so he used your free time to teach you fencing. Yes, he would usually bring another sword to the forest so you could kill time whenever you were not sleeping, reading or he was not on guard.

・Even Lilia cooked sometimes for Silver, he was aware of your existence. He was happy though about his little boy having a new friend... Well, deep inside himself, he was happy, just awaiting for Silver to know how love felt —in fact, he just wanted his child to go asking for advice.

#ツイステ #ツイステッドフンダラーンド #twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #twst jade #leona kingscholar #twst leona #malleus draconia #twst malleus #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #twst silver #twisted wonderland silver #twst headcanons

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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago

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𝑂𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑈𝑝𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑛 𝑈𝑠 (𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜) 𝑅𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐶𝐸𝑂! 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧)/𝐸𝑥𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝐷𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝑁𝑜𝑛! 𝐼𝑑𝑜𝑙 𝐴𝑈

𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝐶𝐸𝑂 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑. 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒........𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑦.

𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡:6K

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑀𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑝 𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑏𝑠/𝑒𝑥𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝑙𝑎𝑝 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑑𝑟𝑦 ℎ𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 (𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒, 𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑦), 𝑎𝑠𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑥𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑘, 𝑠𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑘, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑖𝑒, 𝑢𝑛𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑥 (𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛).

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

"In behalf of all of us present here, I'd like to congratulate our dear friend Yunho on finally settling down, on finding someone who truly makes him happy and promising to spend the rest of his life with her."

Lifting the glass cup up, Seonghwa finished with a loud:

"To Yunho and his lovely bride."

The rest of the groomsmen let out a bunch of hollers and whistling, signaling their approval of the speech given by the oldest male.

Yunho couldn't keep the happy grin off his face.

"Thanks so much guys. It really means a lot to me that you guys would do this for me."

"What kind of friends would we be if we weren't happy for you?" Hongjoong nudged him gently.

"And what kind of groomsmen would we be if we didn't throw you a super cool and totally expensive bachelor party." Wooyoung clinked glasses with San, both giving each other a not so subtle look that they were up to something.

The rest decided to ignore them, figuring they were just messing around like they usually did. They began to talk about their own married lives, funny stories that happened to them while they were on the honeymoon, their first fights as couples, and how they tended to deal with their in laws. Seonghwa was also more than happy to talk about how his wife and him were already trying for a baby, which came to no surprise to the others, considering how much he adored kids. The two single men though, were quickly becoming bored with the subject, either rolling their eyes at them or just downing more shots just to kill time.

"Ok! If you pansies are done, I think it's time to bring out the real entertainment." San got up and went over to the door.

Yunho tensed up noticeably.

"San.....remember I said no strippers or anything like that."

"Oh lighten up Yunho! It'll only be one night! One night before you're forever tied down to 1 woman! 1!" Wooyoung argued.

"Unsurprised you'd be in on this sort of shenanigans as well." Yeosang rolled his eyes at him.

"Ok so can I open the door and let the fine ladies on?" San tapped his foot impatiently.

Yunho lowered himself on his seat.

"I p-promised Jieun...."

"Have a little respect you assholes." Hongjoong piped up, sensing how uncomfortable his friend was getting.

"Ok fine! I'll tell you what."

Going over to him, San made Yunho get up and pointed him towards another door at the end of the hallway.

"See that room there? Why don't you be a good little obedient puppy to your new master and watch tv or something while we enjoy ourselves here. Does that sound like a plan?" San asked him with a totally innocent smile.

"Ok!" Yunho didn't even hesitate to get out of the situation, already walking away as rapidly as he could.

"I wanna go too-"

"No you don't!" Wooyoung grabbed Yeosang, nearly choke holding him, the poor man struggling to breathe.

The rest of the boys watched as Yunho left, oblivious to what was happening behind him. It was Seonghwa who knew something was up.

"What did you do?" He questioned them, eyeing them suspiciously.

San and Wooyoung released a series of laughs that only made the rest of them worry.

"Let's just say Yunho might just have the best time of his life if he'd let loose a little." San hinted.

The other boys looked at them in disbelief.

"You didn't." Mingi's mouth dropped.

"Ok, that's low even for you two. I'm going over there and getting him out if it."

Hongjoong was stopped in his tracks by San.

"Listen, Yunho is old enough to decide for himself. If he's really uncomfortable, he'll leave as soon as the girl gets there. If not....well....he's one lucky guy." He snorted.

Wooyoung shook his head.

"I'm still mad at you for letting him have her. I wanted her!"

"It was only fair he got the best one don't you think? This is his party." San explained.

"Who? Who exactly did you get for him?"

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

Yunho shifted awkwardly in the dimly lit room. He could hardly make out any of the furniture surrounding him, which resulted in him tripping or hitting his thigh or hip on the corner of somethings.

"Light light. Where's the light?" He tried feeling around, hoping to find something somewhere.

Instead, the room itself lit up a light lavender color, slow and sensual music playing in the background. Yunho froze as he realized what he just walked into.

"Fuck you San." He ran his hand down his face, already getting nervous at whatever was going to happen now.

Soon enough, he heard the door behind him open. The clatter of heels resonated in the room. Still not turning around, Yunho nervously said:

"Listen, th-this was all a misunderstanding....so if-if you could please just go back, I'd really appreciate it."

The footsteps halted themselves, and all was silent for a moment, until the figure started walking once again, this time emanating a subtle giggle.

"A little shy aren't we? Don't worry honey. I'll make sure to ease your mind."

Yunho could hear them approaching him even more.

"N-no! That's ok! I don't- I mean! I have a fiancee." He blurted out.

The person now stood right behind him and Yunho felt a shudder down his body, as well as an overly familiar thrill when they rested their hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah I know. A lot of soon to be married men always say that........ don't worry."

Leaning in, they whispered in his ear:

"It'll be our little secret."

Delicate hands wrapped themselves around his waist. Yunho pried their hands off and began turning.

"No! Seriously I don't-"

Yunho cut himself off when he stared at the person standing right in front of him, who was equally shocked to see him.

"Y/N?"

"Yunho?"

They both stared in disbelief at each other, both wondering if it was their imagination or if this was reality. Yunho was extremely stunned. Here right in front of him, was none other than his very first love, looking at him with the same angelic eyes that he had fallen madly in love with years ago. His eyes couldn't help but start trailing down, scanning down every inch of her body. He blushed as he took in her attire: an ivory white lingerie set with glittery silver adornments meticulously stitched into it. It consisted of a push up bra that made her cleavage look more rounded, a corset that highlighted her waist and made her hips look wider, lace cheeky panties made specifically to show off just enough of her ass, and long thigh high stockings that had an intricate lace trimming with 2 bows at the center.

Yunho gulped slowly as he took all of her in. Her glamorous body dressed so provocatively as well as memories of the past, memories that were not so pure, memories of their bodies intertwined together, all were becoming too much for him and he felt himself start to grow a little problem in his pants. Y/N on the other hand noticed how he was staring at her and she started to become a little self-conscious. She wrapped her arms across her chest in a protective manner.

"Well isn't this suddenly awkward." She was the first to speak up.

"Huh? Oh right!" Yunho snapped out of his trance, now looking at anywhere but her, hoping not to think about her in that way anymore.

The silence from before returned once again, only the music playing to keep it from being totally mute. Yunho scratched the back of his head, trying to think of what to say.

"It's nice to see you.....it's been so long." He started.

"Y-yeah it has been. A couple of years." She continued.

"6 actually." Yunho surprised himself that he remembered that fact.

Y/N let out a small 'oh' at that, nodding at nothing in particular.

"So uh.......is this what you do now?" He questioned her, curious to know why she'd even be in such a position in the first place.

"Ummm....yeah..." She answered rather embarrassed.

Yunho decided not to further that topic anymore, it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it.

"Still at your dad's company?"

Yunho was surprised and touched she even remembered that.

"Oh yeah....I actually took over 2 years ago." He smiled proudly.

"Oh really? That's great. I'm sure your family must be proud." She congratulated him.

She swayed back and forth awkwardly, wanting to ask another questions but afraid of his response.

"So......you're getting married?" She finally asked.

Yunho looked confused for a second, then he realized what she meant.

"Ummm.....yeah....I am."

"Well then congratulations. She really is a lucky girl." She forced a smile on her features.

"Oh I wouldn't say that......you know she's just really nice....and she's like that... and yeah..." at this point Yunho was just rambling on, he himself not even sure of what he was talking about.

Y/N sighed softly.

"Ok I have to know. If you're getting married, what are you doing in a place like this? You were always more on the....conservative side of things." She had to know.

Yunho now covered his face with his large hands.

"I don't know. I swear there were supposed to be no wild or crazy antics at this bachelor party, but I got these 2 friends, and they're single and you can figure out the rest." He tried to explain.

"Oh yeah. There's always that couple of friends that just never take things seriously." She chuckled, having seeing that situation too many times.

Yunho groaned slightly.

"Well....I guess this was the easiest gig I've had to do." She decided to lighten up the situation.

"What do you mean?"

She let out a laugh at Yunho's question.

"I mean, I'm practically getting paid to just sit here since obviously you won't want me to do my job." She rolled her eyes.

"No! I mean yes! I mean.....ugh!" Yunho mentally slapped himself.

"Won't you get in trouble?"

She shrugged.

"Considering the fact your friends specifically paid for 'no rules', I really won't."

"Oh...." Yunho breathed out, not realizing he sounded a little too disappointed.

Y/N turned and smirked at him.

"What? Were you expecting me to give you something?" She teased him.

"What?! I- No!" Yunho's red ears was a huge indication of his lie.

Y/N let out a small laugh as she came closer to him, making him back away from her.

"Oh? I think you're lying Yunho. I think you actually want me to give you a little show. Is that what you want?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Yunho stumbled back on the couch, falling into a sitting position as Y/N placed her arms on opposite sides of his body, effectively trapping him. Yunho couldn't help it as he looked back down at her chest and then down her legs. He bit his lip as he imagined them wrapped around his waist, as they had been many times in the past. He looked back up at her face. He knew she was only messing with him, she wouldn't actually do anything to him, especially if he asked her not to. And he really shouldn't allow anything to happen.... but he decided to ignore his gut for the first time in years and not think about the consequences.

Yunho let out a small scoff as he leaned in and challenged her:

"Can you even do anything doll?"

He watched as Y/N momentarily felt dazed at his use of the old pet name he had for her, knowing the impact it had on her.

"I bet you're not even that good." He continued his taunting, wanting to rile her up as much as he could.

It definitely worked as Y/N grabbed his collar and pushed his face against hers.

"I'm actually the best around here baby. Trust me when I say before I'm done, you'll already be cumming inside your pants." She whispered, her lips dangerously close to his, their noses practically touching.

Yunho released a small grunt when she pushed him back in the chair. He watched her as she went over to a keypad on the wall, changing the music to a completely different song. His eyes lingered on her butt cheeks that were poking out of the lace material. His hand twitched, feeling the urge to bend her over his lap and spank them like he used to do when she misbehaved. He watched in fascination as she turned her attention back to him, her face suddenly turning more confident and seductive.

Y/N's body began swaying to the music, every wave of her arms, every roll of her hips and every flirty wink were so mesmerizing and hypnotic to Yunho. He always had a hidden passion for dancing, so this was quite a spectacle for him, especially coming from his dearly beloved ex. An ex that he had cried and yearned for long after he let her go, someone that it took a long time for him to forget and erase completely from his heart.

But now she was here again and she was stirring emotions inside him he had thought he'd gotten over, had buried away. And reactions from his body that he had thought he had under control. But as he watched her crawl over to him, placing herself in between his thighs, he couldn't help but hard as he recalled the last time he had her in that position. He shuddered when she ran her hands across his thighs, her perfectly manicured nails raking over his dress pants. From this angle, he could see an even better view of her breasts that were covered by her bra.

Noticing where his eyes were placed, Y/N's hands swooped up and caressed her torso.

"Oh? Is this what got your attention?"

Yunho's stare went back to her face, now getting shy at the realization that he got caught staring. But Y/N didn't mind. Instead she merely turned around as she began unbuttoning the front part of her corset.

"Want to have a better look?" She turned her head slightly to see his reaction.

Yunho was already whispering out a 'yes' before she even finished her sentence. Satisfied by the answer, she took off the corset and threw it across the room, letting it land on the floor. As she said back up, she made sure to push her ass out when she got back out. Yunho tilted his head back when it came to close to his face that it would have pressed against it had he not moved. Y/N turned around and one by one, her legs sat themselves by Yunho's side, straddling him in the process. Her hands began fiddling with his tie, loosening it up.

"This what you wanted to see?" She cooed as she rose her chest up, almost brushing them against his chin.

"Fuck yes.."

Without thinking, Yunho's large hands cupped her ass, kneading the soft skin as he grinded his hips against hers. Y/N let out a small whimper at his touch, the familiarity sending a spark down her body. Yunho couldn't help the smug smile when he began to feel the wet spot that was soaking through her underwear.

"Look at that, the little slut is enjoying this as much as I am."

Slapping her ass, he gripped her hips harshly as he forced her to grind down harder on him. Y/N moaned as she felt his huge bulge pressing up against her drenched core, and threw her head back when Yunho's lips began attacking her neck, nearly startling her.

"Let's see who cums first."

Yunho's mouth sucked and bit down expertly at all her sensitive spots, remembering perfectly well how to push her closer to the edge. He felt a sense of pride and satisfaction when he heard her moans and whimpers grow louder. Even after years, he could still get her riled up. And that fact kind of bothered Y/N which prompted her to push Yunho down on the couch and hold his arms in place as she decided to take control of the movements of their hips.

Yunho hissed softly as he looked at her with fire in his eyes.

"Don't try to take control doll. You know how that will end for you."

Knowing how to break him, she simply laughed mockingly at him and rolled her eyes. Yanking his hands off her grip rather easily, Yunho flipped their positions so he was hovering above her, his mouth clashing with hers in a heated and sloppy kiss. He wasted no time in slipping his hand inside her now ruined underwear, his thumb circling around her clit in harsh motions.

"Why must you be such a brat?" He asked in between their heated makeout session.

Chuckling softly, her hand undid his belt and zipper, pulling it down enough to let her palm him through his briefs before pulling those down as well, letting his cock spring free so she could stroke him, eliciting the most sinful moans from him.

Both of them pulled away to look into each other's eyes, determined to make the other break first, but it was so hard when they were both lost in their lust, reminiscing about the familiarity of their movements and fantasizing about taking it further. The grinding of their hips and their mutual pleasuring of each other had them both coming in seconds at the same time. They let out a sputter of curses and chants of each other's names as they covered their hands with the other's cum, a telltale sign of what had just taken place in that room.

They both layed still for a few minutes, trying to catch their breath and calm down from the high they just had. It was Yunho who composed himself first as he realized what he had just done and how serious it was.

"Oh my god!" He cursed himself as he quickly got up and began fixing himself.

"Yunho? Are you-"

"Please don't! Let's just pretend this didn't happen! I can't believe I-....... I'm so sorry."

Without another glance or word, he ran out the door, ignoring the worried looks of his other companions who were still in the other room and leaving Y/N alone, feeling just as confused, guilty and ashamed just like him.

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

"Yunho."

Mingi nudged him once again, waking him up from his thoughts.

"Uh..sorry what?" He shifted his focus back on his friend.

"I was telling you that the hotel sent your confirmation number." He repeated himself.

"Hotel? Hotel for what?"

Mingi widened his eyes. Sure his friend had been really zoned out all day, but to not even remember what he was there for.

"Your wedding? Yunho, you're getting married?" He reminded him.

"Oh...yeah..." Yunho looked down, staring at the floor anxiously.

Mingi closed the laptop and turned his body so he could look at Yunho directly.

"Listen, even if something happened on the bachelor party a few days ago, I doubt it was that serious that you're like this." Mingi pointed out.

Yunho looked back up, unsure if he should tell Mingi about it. But then again, no one else but his long time best friend would understand why it had such an impact on him.

"It wasn't so much what happened....it was...with whom it happened...."

Mingi furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who? Who are you talking about?"

Yunho took a deep breath before answering:

"Y/N..."

Mingi nearly fell off his chair when he heard her name again. He actually had to steady himself on the sides of it.

"Y/N? As in........?"

Yunho nodded, knowing full well what Mingi was asking.

"Well fuck man! Holy shit! This is- oh my God! Your ex!" Mingi shook his head, trying to process all the information.

"You know she isn't just an ex Mingi." Yunho admitted rather solemnly.

"I know Yunho. I remember how head over heels you were for her. You two were so much in love, it was actually kind of sickening." Mingi made a face which caused Yunho to chuckle slightly.

Mingi looked at Yunho, noticing how he had a faint smile painted across his face. By the way his eyes were staring off, he knew he was thinking about her.

"Did you....did you feel anything? I mean, while you were with her?" He had to ask.

The slight red tint on Yunho's cheeks was a dead giveaway and Mingi could immediately notice how Yunho's eyes lit up when he mentioned her.

"I felt everything all over again. It was like the first day I bumped into her at the university. Oh you should have seen her Mingi, she looked just as beautiful." Yunho sighed blissfully.

"I mean.....if she was dressed like the other exotic dancers we got, I get why you'd say it." Mingi snickered.

Yunho reached over and slapped his arm.

"That wasn't what I meant you idiot!"

Mingi pouted as he rubbed his now aching arm.

"But still.......being with her in that moment...it was as if nothing changed between us. Like our passion, our relationship...our love never faded. And now.... I can't stop thinking about her..." Yunho confessed.

"Have you kept in contact since that day?" Mingi asked.

Yunho groaned as he banged his head on the table.

"I just ran out without even saying a goodbye."

Mingi rolled his eyes and ran a hand down his face.

"No offense....but once again, history repeats itself."

Yunho suddenly banged the table with his fist, eyes darting to Mingi.

"Do you think I don't know that?! Do you think it doesn't bother me knowing that I left her there, not just at the party? But 6 years ago?! Do you think I haven't been tormented these past days, regretting that I chose to please my parents and abandon her?!"

Yunho got up. His hands flew up to his hair, tugging at them slightly before letting them fall to his sides. He started taking deep breaths to calm down, trying not to get anymore agitated than he already was. Mingi looked at his friend with sorrow and pity. He knew how much Yunho suffered and tortured himself months after he broke up with Y/N, and he also know that deep down, he had never really gotten over her.

Getting up, he went to his friend's side, resting a comforting hand on his back.

"Yunho.....you can't change the past. None of us can.....but you can decide your future, for yourself. Answer yourself: these past years, everything that you've done, was it really for you? Was it because you wanted to?.....or was it because you wanted to please others? Live up to an image you felt burdened to show?......and really ask yourself:

What is it you want now?"

Yunho knew what the answer was for a fleeting moment, but then the answer vanished when he heard the door open and close.

"Baby! I'm home! And I could really use your help!"

The high pitched voice of his fiancee echoed through the room, her tiny legs rushing over with a folder in hand.

"My cue to leave." Mingi patted Yunho on the back, but before he could leave, he whispered in his ear:

"Think about what I said."

Mingi made sure to smile and politely say goodbye to Jieun before he made his way out the door, hoping his friend would come to his senses soon enough.

"So Jieun what's this about?" Yunho asked.

The girl giggled happily as she opened the folder and began displaying an array of different photos.

"Well I was thinking, that we could pick out the new apartment we would want to move in to once we come back from our honeymoon. I mean, this place is great, but I think some change would be benefit us both."

The girl began pointing to all the different options, talking her heart out enthusiastically about the wonders of each place and what she particular loved about it, but it fell upon deaf ears. Yunho was not paying any attention at all, instead he just looked right through all the pictures, his mind going over the words Mingi had made him ponder about.

"Yunho?" Jieun's annoyed voice brought him back.

"Hmm?" He nodded his head to her.

"You're not paying attention to me....again." She huffed rather annoyed.

"I'm sorry....I'm just really tired and stressed out." He excused himself.

"Yeah I know. You've been saying that these past days." She accused him.

"I'm sorry. But I just really am."

She let out an indignant scoff.

"And you think I'm not stressed? For months we've been preparing for this moment, and now that we're literally 2 days away from tying the knot, you're suddenly being cold? What's wrong with you Yunho?"

He couldn't answer her, he didn't have the strength to. He was being a coward at that very moment, he knew that very well.

"Jieun....do you think maybe we should postpone it or-"

"Absolutely not!" She stated firmly, refusing to let him finish the sentence. Lifting a finger, she warned him:

"Listen to me very carefully Jeong Yunho. You asked me to be marry you and I'm not letting you go back on your word. Tomorrow at the rehearsal dinner, you better be on your best behavior and on the day after.....you better be ready to walk down the aisle because I'm not going to let you humiliate me in front of our friends and family."

Putting on a sweet smile as if nothing happened, she tiptoed and pecked his lips.

"Ok love you honey. See you tomorrow!" She waved at him as if nothing was the matter, like she wasn't just angry at him 2 seconds ago.

Yunho paced around the living room, hands in his pocket, his foot occasionally kicking at the air. He let out long sighs every minute or so, head hung low as he thought about what to do now.

"What is it you want now?"

He repeated what Mingi asked him.

Yunho knew what he wanted.....he also knew all the risks he was taking in order to obtain it, for all he knew, he might not even get it at the end....

But he had to try. Or at least get some closure from it.

Pulling out his phone, his finger began dialing a number he had never erased from his memory, hoping it still belonged to the person he had once cherished so much and would often fall asleep while talking to them on the phone.

He could feel his heartbeat quicken with every ring that passed. His hand began clenching and unclenching as he prayed that it would be picked up soon.

"Hello?"

He stilled at the voice that sent chills down his body. He was grateful they had kept the same number all these years.

"We need to talk."

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

Y/N cautiously opened the door. Although she knew he was coming, she still wasn't quite prepared to see him, not after everything that happened a few days ago. She gestured for him to come in. Closing the door behind them, she led him to her living room, where she already had coffee waiting for him. It was actually warming to him that she remembered how he liked his coffee, and although he was very tempted to drink it, he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"I'm getting married in two days..." He started off.

Y/N nodded, although his words pained her, she refused to show any emotion.

"And I wanted to know how you felt."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why should my opinion matter at this point? You made your decision and as far as I'm concerned, right now we're just two strangers." She coldly replied.

"That's not true Y/N and you know it. You know....that there's a lot more to us." He insisted.

She held her hand up in an effort to get him to stop going down the path he was going.

"Correction. There was a lot to us. If I remember correctly, you were the one who decided to run out, both literally and figuratively."

Yunho didn't deny it, he was fully prepared to take responsibility.

"Yes I did. Ok? I admit it and I accept it. I walked away from our relationship when I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have abandoned you..."

He inhaled before he confessed:

"I shouldn't have left the one person I've ever loved and will always love."

Y/N immediately got up and crossed her arms.

"Don't say that Yunho. You're engaged, you're about to get married. It's bad enough with what happened at your bachelor party, but I'm not letting you cross the line again. You have a perfect life ahead of you, you were always destined to have one. A life surrounded by your parents and friends, with a beautiful wife and kids and that Welsh Corgi you always wanted..."

Y/N couldn't help but tear up as she said those words.

"I get why you had to leave me at that time, I do. Your parents didn't like me and they never will. They'll never accept us...... so please just make it easier on yourself and go have the perfect life you deserve."

Yunho slowly got up and began walking to her.

"You don't get it Y/N. I don't want a perfect life. I want you, I love you. I'll always love you. I want a happy, normal life with you. I want to raise that Welsh Corgi with you, even though you were always more of a cat person."

Y/N let out an involuntary laugh at that. He still knew her so well. Taking her hands in his, he added:

"Please tell me you still love me......just say it and I'll stay by your side."

Y/N covered her mouth with her hand, her tears now flowing non-stop. She was about to say no, but Yunho stopped her.

"Don't lie to me. You know I'll be able to tell. Just be completely honest with me."

His large hands cupped her cheeks, thumbs gently wiping away the tears that were trickling down.

"I'm not rich and I don't exactly have anything to offer someone like you." She admitted.

Yunho smiled. "All I want is your heart. Can't I at least have that?"

Y/N thought about it. But then she realized there was nothing to really think about when her answer 6 years ago would still be the same now.

"I love you Jeong Yunho, my heart is all yours."

As soon as the words were out, there was no more holding back. Their feelings had been locked away for far too long and needed to be released. Yunho wasted no time in finally kissing her after so long, his hands easily hoisting her up, wrapping them around his waist as he carried her to her bedroom, kicking the door open and laying her down on the bed. Their touches were eager and desperate, almost as much as the first time they were intimate together. Clothes were soon discarded all over the floor, hands began roaming and caressing their most intimate parts of their bodies and soon enough, the sound of skin slapping, heavy breathing and panting were the only things that could be heard in those 4 walls.

Yunho pulled Y/N up against him, her back now pressed against his sweaty chest as he continued to slam his hips against hers. One of his hands that was busy groping her breast trailed down her abdomen and stopped when they felt the prominent bulge that was on her lower stomach. Taking one of her hands, he made her press down against it.

"Feel that doll? Feel my huge cock deep inside you?"

Y/N whimpered loudly as he spoke and as he sped his movements up. Yunho couldn't help the teasing giggle that escaped his lips.

"You always were my tiny little doll...so small and fragile, yet always taking my cock like a champ."

His praise made her clench her walls around his thick length, making Yunho temporarily lose the pace he was going at.

"F-fuck doll. Clench around me like that and I might not last any longer."

Always up for testing him, she purposefully clenched harder around him, her eyes looking back at him teasingly. Yunho knew she always loved defying him just to see how far he'll go and he truthfully loved it. That unruly, free spirit in her that manifested itself even in the littlest of things, just made him fall even more for her.

His hand snaked up and wrapped itself around her neck, squeezing lightly for the time being but it was still enough to have her gasping. His other hand, went down to work on her clit, fingers rubbing expertly on it so that it'd have her cumming in a few moments.

"Y-Yunho-" tried saying but he gripped her neck tighter, effectively cutting off what she was going to say.

"Go ahead, cum all over my cock. I want to feel you all over me again. Fuck! I can't wait to fill this pussy up with my cum again. Can you do that for me doll? Hmm? Can you be a good little, tiny doll and cum all over this huge cock of mine?"

Not being able to hold back anymore, Y/N's body shuddered against Yunho's, quivering and spasming as an overwhelming orgasm ripped through her, shouting Yunho's name as if it was a mantra. Yunho let go of her neck, his hands gripping her hips as he fucked himself into his own orgasm, his face buried in the back of her neck as her tight walls milked him out of his cum, some of it already pouring down her inner thighs.

"Shit..." Yunho stammered once he calmed down.

Pulling out of Y/N, he made sure she didn't collapse on the bed, instead he turned her around and helped her to lay down. Her hands rubbed at her lower stomach.

"I'm definitely feeling that tomorrow." She joked, making both of them laugh.

After making sure they were both cleaned up, they ended up just laying down on the bed, holding onto each other, casually talking about everything and nothing.

"Do you remember our first night together?"

Yunho couldn't help but smile fondly at the memory.

"How can I forget? You were so nervous and so adorable." He remembered.

"How was I not supposed to be nervous? You and your size intimidated me."

Yunho laughed at that.

"I know. I remember when you looked down in between my legs and asked 'how is that gonna fit inside me'?"

"Shut up! I was an innocent baby back then." She huffed, her lips forming a small pout.

"You may not be so innocent anymore...but you're still my cute little baby."

Leaning in, he kissed her forehead as he adjusted them into a spooning position, his legs tangling around hers as well. He drew circles around her arm, his head full of thoughts and worries, but he didn't hesitate to say:

"Y/N? Can I ask you something?"

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

The whole party was in turmoil. It was already 15 minutes past the time to start the rehearsal and the groom was nowhere to be seen. The bride and her party looked agitated and pissed off, while the groomsmen just looked at each other, trying to decipher what was going on.

"Do you think he got in an accident?" Yeosang immediately thought the worse.

"Don't say those things you idiot. That's how you catch bad luck." Seonghwa told him.

"Superstitious nonsense." Wooyoung shook his head.

Just then, Mingi walked in the room, all eyes immediately upon him since he was the groom's best man. He bowed to everyone before stating:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you all for coming here and attending this rehearsal, I'm sure it took dedication and arrangements on your part to be able to be here...

But I regret to inform you all that there will be no wedding."

A collective gasp was heard from more than half of the attendants. The bride and her parents paled in horror at Mingi's words. Jieun stormed up to him, her pretty features contorted into rage as she confronted Mingi.

"What do you mean Song Mingi? Where is Yunho?"

Mingi merely smirked and turned around, not bothering to stay another minute and ignoring the chaos that was about to ensue in that hall.

"Besides.... I have a friend I promised to join soon."

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

The couple stared at the glittering lights of the city as they finished their ice cream bars on the hood of the car. It was almost midnight, but they were far from being tired even though they had only arrived there by plane a few hours ago.

"Is this anything like what you had planned?"

Yunho quickly shook his head.

"Nope. But trust me, I love this way more."

Taking her hand in his, he ran his thumb across the silver band that now adorned the third finger on her left hand.

"And I love you my darling wife."

✧═══════•❁❀❁•═══════✧

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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

Text

serpentine — kozume kenma

4.2k words | genre/s: fluff | warning/s: cursing | pairing: kenma x f!reader

↪︎ in which nekoma’s new manager captures their setter’s attention

a/n: this was requested by an anon but i accidentally deleted the ask 💀 this wasn’t proofread btw since i’m posting this hella late (atp none of my works are anymore lmao) anyway, the ending is uhh... not good

it takes up to ten seconds for your brain to realize it’s making a decision. you weren’t sure how it all happened considering it didn’t feel like it took ten seconds, and yet somehow, in some way, you agreed to the offer. it was no lingering doubt in your head that you could very well have answered due to the way the third-year manager (all ready to graduate in a few months notice) was looming over you. the look on their face drenched in optimism and a coaxing smile. you liked to think you were a generous person and you couldn’t have possibly said no.

"thank you so much, (y/l/n)!” your upperclassman exclaimed, eyes widening in a bright blithe as they held you at your shoulders and shaking you. “you totally saved my ass getting beat by coach nekomata! see you after school!”

that’s when it dawned at you. were you seriously going to become nekoma’s newest manager for the volleyball club when you had zero knowledge on the sport let alone know how to properly manage a team full of towering individuals? your jaw was basically on the floor as you attempted to plead something back to their current manager, yet nothing was coming out.

you’ve got to be kidding me.

you slumped back at your desk, face still in awe as you couldn’t help but almost felt betrayed by your own selfish mouth that spoke before you could even fathom the task. a sigh escaped you when lunch came to an end and lessons came back in session.

it was no lie that you didn’t really pay attention much in class in the first place. you had a tendency to space out and daydream from time to time with thoughts that serpentine from one idea to the next. however, at one point all you could ever think about was the inevitable doom of having to go to the gym in just a few hours time.

the feeling wasn’t enough to cause an onset sensation of suffocation from nerves, but it was just rather unpleasant knowing that these volleyball jocks would be part of your daily life now.

like a plucked flower petal, your body stood from your seat the moment the final bell rang through the echoing hallways. as if you were moving on autopilot, you hadn’t even noticed how fast you were treading through the hallways. perhaps your nerves were the fuel to your fire as you forced yourself to slow down and mingle into the lightly crowded corridors. perhaps you were glad that your classroom was on the other side of campus from the gymnasium.

you were taking your sweet time and surely they would understand if you were a little late right? granted, it was all too last minute and who knows if you had plans after school or not. spoiler: you didn’t, but that’s beside the point.

at one point, you’ve concluded that you were still walking too fast on your way to the gym despite going at a snail’s pace. it didn’t matter either way as your honey-coated eyes had fallen over the doors of the gym. the right door remained shut while the left was wide open, letting sounds of squeaking sneakers, bouncing white volleyballs, and shouts emitted from the building.

your pace came to a halt just a few feet shy of the door. your hand clutching at your bag’s strap as you waited for a few beats to pass. you weren’t sure what you were waiting for, yet standing there felt like a safer bet more than anything.

“oh there you are, (y/l/n)!” a voice called out to you in the midst of your personal speculation. this forced your attention up to them as you gave them a meek smile. “don’t be shy, come in! let me introduce you to the boys.”

they grabbed you by the wrist, tugging you inside the gym as you shook your head. “uhh, you really don’t have to. i can meet them all later, everyone seems busy right now.”

“don’t be silly!” they wave their hand off like it’s nothing. you follow them to the sidelines of the court, eyes scanning the gym out of instinct—you’ve heard about the many horror stories of those who stopped by and ended up being the target of an oncoming volleyball. a broken nose was definitely the last thing you wanted.

your head turned from watching the volleyball players do their drills as you stopped in front of two bickering individuals. the shorter one with copper brown hair points an accusatory finger at the boy in front of him, the tip of his finger barely reaching the top of the other’s shoulder as he ran a hand through his gray hair. “i swear to god lev, if i hear another word from you i will—”

nekoma’s manager clears their throat.

“oh shit—ha, hey mizuhara.” so that’s their name, you thought. the shorter one greets with a smile, expression all normal as if a complete stranger didn’t just witness him yelling at his teammate.

mizuhara only scoffs, “you’ve always been one for first impressions, yaku, which is why i brought our new manager here in the first place, but i suppose i came at the wrong time.”

“this is our new manager?” the taller one then cuts in, completely pushing away yaku as if his shorter stature weighed like nothing. there was a swift kick in his step as he approached you closer, sticking his hand out for you to shake. man, was this guy tall. “i’m haiba lev, it’s nice to meet you!”

you shook his hand, nodding, “(y/l/n) (y/n).” you introduced before turning towards the poor volleyball player that was pushed out the way.

“yaku morisuke,” he answers without missing a single beat, “i’m nekoma’s libero—”

“that’s why he’s short!” lev interjects and yaku gives him a poisonous look.

you bite back a smile as the libero continues, “don’t be fooled by the height, though, i’m most likely older than you anyway and you look like the type to actually respect your senpais, unlike this guy.” yaku pokes lev.

“are you a third-year?” you ask curiously to which he nods.

“he thinks he can boss me around just because i’m only a first year, but the only one who can give me orders around here is coach and kuroo.” says lev with a smirk that radiated provocation. this seems to be a normal thing between the two of them.

“speaking of which,” mizahara chimed in, head turning towards the courts as your irises scanned for a specific person. “where’s kuroo? i obviously have to introduce our new manager to the team captain.”

“i think he’s still in the locker room talking with the coaches. i’ll go get him,” yaku muttered over his shoulder before walking away.

silence then ensued the trio like a wet blanket, nothing but the lingering sounds of volleyballs thudding against the glazed wooden floors and squealing rubber. everyone in the gym didn’t seem to be too phased by your presence and if they were, they were probably just too preoccupied with their own practice to even spare a single glance.

“so...” lev starts, teetering his weight back and forth as you look up at him. “you’re a second year, right?” you nod, words not wanting to come out. “cool. do you have a boyfriend—or a girlfriend, if that’s what you’re into. i don’t judge!” he laughs then, somehow easing your unease.

“stop asking such personal questions, lev.” a voice calls out from behind him, treading lightly towards you.

the first year shrugs innocently, “i was just curious, cap.”

“yeah, yeah,” kuroo waves him off, “go practice before i double your drills.”

lev nods, “yessir.” before dipping away.

kuroo then gives you a welcoming smile, one that feels quite genuine as his coaches appear behind him. “i’m guessing you’re our new manager in training, right? i’m kuroo if you don’t already know, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduced yourself yet again, repeating the gesture to coach nakomata and coach naoi. they both radiated a calming, yet serious energy that you weren’t sure to be intimidated by. yet at some point, you shouldn’t even be thinking of such thing considering you would working with them for the rest of the school year and the year after that.

“here, i’ll call the rest of the team over to meet you.” kuroo suggests, his arm already waving everybody down before you could retaliate. “gather ‘round, we have someone you guys have to meet!”

his shout was accompanied by coach nekomata’s shrieking whistle, capturing the attention of the rest of the volleyball team as the sounds of hands impacting the white leather came to a halt.

perhaps that forgotten tingling of nerves had hit you right in the chest like a train the moment all their eyes fell on you. this was not it.

“a girl!” one of them exclaims, hair styled in a strange curly mohawk that charged his way towards you.

“jesus, take it easy yamamoto.” one with a darker complexion and buzzcut says, throwing you a pitiful smile as if to say ‘i’m sorry.’

“sorry, kai...”

you held back a bit of laughter behind your hand.

“everyone, this is (y/l/n) (y/n), she’ll be our team’s new manager.” coach naoi motions towards you, bag strap still clutched within your hands that your knuckles were turning alabaster. “please take care of her well.”

as kuroo opened his mouth to speak, the same one who shouted earlier—yamamoto, you think—cuts in again and says, “are you dating anyone?”

lev laughs from the back of the group, “i already asked her that!”

“but i still want to know!”

“please be respectful or i’m stealing your kneecaps while you sleep.” mizuhara deadpans before motioning for kuroo to speak.

the obsidian-haired captain rolled his eyes in amusement as he began introducing each member of the team one by one, “i don’t want you guys bombarding (y/n), so i’ll introduce you guys myself.” cue yamamoto groaning in disappointment, “the one that keeps asking you such personal questions is yamamoto, our wing spiker.” to which the same man salutes you and gives you a wink. “then there’s kai nobuyuki, our vice-captain. teshiro tamahiko, our pinch server. fukunaga shohei, our other wing spiker. lev and yaku, which you’ve already met. and kozume kenma, our setter.”

your eyes had landed on each and every one of them before abruptly stopping on the last one called. you knew of kenma and his familiar yellow-blond hair. granted, you were in the same year, but he was in a different class and just didn’t really have any interactions besides that one time you two had cleaning duty last year and had to take out the trash together.

the last time you remember him, he was quiet and didn’t speak much, yet there was always a charm within him that had you drawn to him from the start. it was a shame you two never really had a chance to get close.

you wonder if he still remembers you.

meanwhile, the moment your gaze landed upon him, kenma couldn’t help but choke back the rising lump forming in his throat. he surely never thought you two would meet again like this.

the last time he remembers you, you had quite the allure within the way you spoke so nicely. he recalls the way you two first met last year where he offered to take out your trash bag so you wouldn’t have to do work, but you utterly refused. your kind actions stuck with him and despite not being one to talk much in the first place, he couldn’t bring himself to ever speak knowing your lasting presence overran his nerves like a high wire.

kenma’s thoughts are interrupted by a pat on his shoulder, heavy and weighted. his looks over to kuroo’s giving him a sly side-eye as a smirk melted upon his best friend’s visage.

“everyone, go back to practice,” kuroo commands, “mizuhara will take care of the rest.”

a chorus of discernable groans and ‘yessirs’ erupted in the gym as the hoard of volleyball players turned their backs towards you. everything seemed to be back to normal the way the echoing sounds of a run-of-the-mill practice was back in session. and despite the attention no longer being on you (thank goodness), there was still an inkling in your chest of someone’s eyes lingering as you looked back to mizuhara.

“that’s the girl, isn’t it?” whispers kuroo to kenma, practically scaring him out of his unbeknownst trance that was stuck on you.

the setter didn’t answer right away as he twirled the volleyball in his hand, eyes searching the bronze floorboards below him to find an answer he knew he couldn’t find. “it is,” he sighs.

kenma didn’t like lying, anyway.

you weren’t sure how it really happened. you supposed it was just mere fate or purely the universe throwing you a bone that within two weeks of being nekoma’s newest manager, that you would somehow, someway, found yourself glued to kenma’s side for the majority of the day.

it first started off like this: normal. nothing much had changed to your daily school life besides the fact that you stay after school every day for volleyball practice now, but that’s was beside the point. It continued on like this for a few days, until your scanning gaze over the practicing volleyball players almost always ended up stopping on kenma.

it didn’t matter what he was doing at the time whether he was sweating his ass off playing a practice game or simply staying on the sidelines, body hunched over with his dyed hair falling over his face as he played his video game.

unbeknownst to you, though, your stares were everything but discrete. kenma had always been quite skilled at hiding his emotions and looking nonchalant as possible. either that or he just had no filter whatsoever—there was no in between.

at first, the attention would always send his heart spiraling out of control. you were always on the other side of the gym when this happens, and he’s glad for that fact considering you couldn’t have seen the way his hands shivered slightly at the way you looked at him.

don’t even get him started on the way his usual patience ran lower and lower the more his teammates flirted with you. from yamamoto’s blatant disregard of your crystal clear unease to lev’s constant presence around you, had affected kenma more than he had hoped.

god, he hated feeling this way, and yet it was addicting that why you still looked at him regardless.

perhaps it was the only reason why he started reciprocating your sly glances to vie for your attention—granted, he already had it.

the subtle linking of your gazes eventually turned into smiles across the court to kenma finally getting the courage to walk up to you after practice. the sky was dim, shrouded by the last few sunrays of the setting sun as he offered to stay behind to help clean up. usually, he would be one of the first ones to leave the gym with kuroo by his side to walk home, but it didn’t take much for his best friend to know what he was up to.

you were folding up one of the volleyball nets at one end to which the setter reached for the other. he folded along the lines, eventually meeting you halfway to which you could say that’s where it all started.

the blossoming of a new friendship.

something about the way you two complimented each other so much, that the moment you two even started talking, it felt like two old friends reuniting. you felt at home with kenma and he liked being by your side.

you supposed that sensation of familiarity you found in kenma led to your days of shy glances to each other turned into eating lunch together to even walking side by side to practice. you both had a knack for being seen with each other to often, that people started to suspect things. from your classmates to the rest of nekoma’s volleyball team did they tread lightly around the subject. it wasn’t like it was any of their business anyway, but good gossip is always entertaining.

“can you please help me beat this level, kenma?”

“absolutely not,” the setter deadpanned, flicking you a tired look as you two neared the opposing school’s gym.

poor kuroo was third-wheeling a few feet behind you.

the night prior, you and kenma stayed up until the sunlight’s orange hues teased away the shadow of the moon, the quiet night in suburban tokyo was filled with your laughter through your gaming headsets. you two stayed up all night playing video games or simply just talking the night away, bridging over the same gap that had already been filled. surely, it was a terrible idea considering kenma literally had a game the next day, but his only excuse was hanging out with you was much better than wallowing in nervous thoughts, so he digresses.

“why not?” you gasp with offense written over your face as clear as day.

kenma shrugs, “maybe after we win this game, i’ll help you beat it.”

you hum in response, tucking your phone back into your windbreaker as you felt the rush of air-conditioned cold air breeze through your hair. approaching the benches, you quickly greet the opposing team’s manager and coach before situating yourself back to nekoma’s side of the court. mizuhara was already in the process of taking out the empty water bottles and placing them into holders to fill them up.

“i’ll help with that,” you offer as you had already picked up a bottle, but mizuhara waved you away with a smile.

“no, no, i’ll take care of this. you can start telling the boys to get changed and have them gather around coach nekomata.” they say, feet already trailing out towards the water fountains as you nod.

your hand scratched the nape of your neck as you turned towards the boys, mouth opening to speak and yet they seemed to already be one step ahead of you. their red tracksuits were already off and stuffed into the deep ends of their duffle bags—it was obvious with the way their bags bulged from the crammed clothing items.

a sigh leaves your lips, shrugging to yourself as it seemed like there wasn’t much to do when the majority of the things were sorted out already. sitting atop the courtside bench, you pulled your phone out of your pocket, typing in your password as you immediately opened up your game. the real game wasn’t going to be starting for the next ten minutes anyway, surely there was enough time to attempt to beat a level within that time span.

your hands gripped the sides of your phone with eyes focused to each detail the flashing graphics shined upon your face. you were so caught up within your own little world, that the ambient sounds of talking murmurs and approaching footsteps bled together.

kenma clears his throat before dropping onto the bench next to you. he peered over to your screen for a second, almost laughing at how much he had rubbed off on you. he feigned himself from scoffing at the way you hadn’t even acknowledged him, but he couldn’t you. it was technically his fault for introducing you to this game. besides, you looked so adorable with the way you would bite your lip whenever you were at the verge of dying.

you groaned, dropping your arms in defeat as you pouted towards him, “i died again.”

“i can see that,” he amused. rolling your eyes at the look he gave you, you rested your elbows upon your thighs again as you reset the level. however, before you resume on playing, the setter swiftly snatched your phone out of your hand.

for once he had to help you with this one.

“watch and learn, (y/n).”

you huffed at his cockiness, resting your chin upon kenma’s shoulder.

usually, he would find himself tensing at your contact, but lately, he’s been treasuring these little moments with you. kuroo would often catch himself off guard whenever he finds kenma cozying up to you like a kitten. this was definitely not something he would usually do unless of course, it’s for someone he is absolutely in love with. it was obvious the way kenma tried so hard to hide his feelings, yet still failing despite the nonchalant exterior.

if only you two just confessed to each other already, this would’ve been easier on literally everyone here.

kenma seemed pretty confident—so incredibly sure that he would beat this level for you that you couldn’t help but find it the tiniest bit attractive... okay maybe a lot. from the way his fingers intricately worked at the game as if it was second nature. you wondered how in the hell he plays so well, but the hours he puts into gaming was no surprise. within minutes, he had already beat the level.

“holy shit!” you exclaimed in excitement as you pulled yourself off of him, grabbing your phone to look at the ‘VICTORY!’ screen just to make sure it was legit.

the setter couldn’t help but feel the ends of his lips tug into a small smile as he admired the glow in your eyes. he liked it when you looked like this—grinning as if you were an absolute maniac with sugarcoated teeth of saccharine.

you beamed at him, “you’re amazing.”

there is was again, his rapid beating heart causing an avalanche between kenma’s lungs. he couldn’t get used to the way you make him feel. it still felt like the same rising warmth that hugged him like a bear whenever you would praise him or let out a slick laugh. he really liked your laugh. he discovered that about himself the first time he made you giggle over your first discord call together. it sounded like a forgotten epiphany finally finding itself back to him that he wanting to make you laugh again and again. even though the low-quality grain of the microphone, it was enough to ease his yearning to just hold you within his arms.

hearing you laugh over a call was one thing, but it hit differently in real life.

“yeah, right,” kenma scoffs, almost unconvinced. he leans over a bit more, his shoulder touching yours as he tapped a few buttons on your screen. his expression was almost unfazed as you continued staring at him. “you don’t mean that.”

kenma looks back up at you. his lips purse together, forcing the lump forming in his throat when he noticed how close your faces were. his eyes flickered over your features, memorizing them as if this was his last time ever seeing your face. for a brief moment, you felt your heart stop again and again. it punched against your ribcage with such brutal force, you swore kenma could’ve heard it.

you chuckled nervously, taking a deep breath as the words spilled out of your mouth. “i don’t lie to people i have feelings for.”

it ended up being softer than you thought it was. you supposed it was the way you were so careful to approach kenma’s lips, slowly and gently, just in case he wanted to pull away. in fact, you did expect him to pull away no matter embarrassing it may have been. there was such a pouring downfall within you that maybe you were okay with that possibility of him rejecting your kiss if it meant that there was a chance he might return it.

his lips were like velvet when he kissed you softly. even if it was a brief moment of vulnerability, you were both aware of how inappropriate it was to kiss not only your closest friend, but a member of your team just minutes before a game.

you pulled away then, hands slapping over your cheeks to hide the crimson red blush that suspended itself all the way up to your ears. kenma looked just the same, but he simply looked away.

you prayed that the rest of the guys did see—but they did.

kuroo saw it first, having to do a double-take the moment you pulled away from kenma. honestly, no one would’ve noticed if yamamoto’s loud ass shout didn’t echo throughout the gymnasium. as if your sudden humiliation moved like a domino-effect, jumping from one person to another.

you pushed yourself off the bench, hoping your hair would cover your tomato-colored face as you excused yourself to the bathroom.

right as your figure left the gym, the boys immediately ran towards kenma, still in a dazed state. the poor setter’s lips still buzzed from the kiss no matter how short it was. it still sent flickers of electricity through him as kai shook his shoulder.

“since when were you and (y/n) a thing?” he questioned quite loudly.

he acted as if kenma even knew the answer to that. if anything, he was just glad that he was saved by the buzzer as the game was to start. he let out a sigh as he scanned all of his teammate’s expressions, pushing himself off the bench. “don’t look at me like that.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma scenarios #kenma imagines #kenma oneshot #kenma fluff #hq kenma

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asweetprologue · 4 years ago

Text

so hard to say (so easy to do)

This is a follow-up to this fic I did for my halftober series, but can be read as a standalone! This is a whump fic, but all torture mentioned is fairly mild and there is a happy ending. A few people wanted a sequel so I’m finally able to oblige! ao3

tw: hand trauma including broken fingers and mention of cutting near and around the forearms.

***

He can’t remember how long he’s been here.

Days? A week, maybe? It could have been months, and Jaskier’s not entirely sure he would notice the difference. Time began blending together so quickly after the first few sessions. The cell they are keeping him in is makeshift, once some kind of storage room in the dilapidated keep that the Nilfgaardians have occupied. It’s temporary, and so is his capture. One way or another. He will be disposed of the second they no longer find him useful.

It’s a bit of a cat and mouse game. If he weren’t so thoroughly bruised, deep down in his core, he might be a little proud of how he’s led them along. They come every day, a few times, he’s not sure; there are no windows in his hasty prison. They never remove him from the chair he’s strapped to, and he’s been given only water, twice. He’s beyond hunger, his empty stomach just another point of pain alongside his other injuries. There are two men who work on him, one in what he assumes is the morning and one in the evening. They come in shifts. During the first few days - hours? weeks? - they would leave after he passed out, and he would be allowed to rest for a little while. Now they usually stay for a while, teasing him in and out of consciousness with wicked little hooks and blades. He faints too often for it to bring him any lasting peace.

It’s a difficult thing to want to draw out, but draw it out he does. They ask him where the witcher has gone, and he tells them he won’t say, won’t give up his secrets (as if he has any). When they move to breaking his fingers, he tells them that he knows a few places, some towns that Geralt might be hiding out in, which he knows are safe to speak of. He tells them about witcher caches that he knows are long looted, old ruins where experiments past took place, unspoken but harmless truths.

He never tells them the biggest truth: he has no idea where Geralt is. That way lies death, he’s certain.

When he’s not entertaining Nilfgaard’s finest, he focuses on making plans of escape. None of them are particularly grand, or seem likely to work. Jaskier has gotten himself out of plenty of trouble in years past, but there’s not much one man can do against a full legion of soldiers. If he could get out of his bindings, he might be able to make it through the halls of the keep and sneak past the guards, but it’s a big if. It was a stronger contender in the early hours of his captivity, but now he doubts if he could even stand up for long. Weariness and pain have made his bones brittle, liable to crack at the slightest provocation. He fears if he tried to run he would do more damage than the Nilfgaards already have.

He’s not sure if he’s thinking clearly.

He doesn’t think about Geralt at all. He tries not to think about Geralt.

He dreams of him, though. When he faints from the pain or exhaustion or thirst, he doesn’t dream, but a few times he’s managed to fall into a fitful sleep. In the dark of the cell he dreams of calloused hands and smiling, golden eyes. The worst is when he dreams that he’s woken up by Geralt’s side in their small camp, warm and content, only to wake again to the cold, damp dungeon. The smell of it chokes him, iron and piss and mold, and he gags on bile when he has nothing in his stomach to throw up. He sits in the dark, alone, his broken fingers throbbing along with his pulse as it rushes through his ears, every cut and bruise aching in the chill air. For a long while he just breathes, wishing so desperately to be held that he feels like nothing more than a child.

They come for him again the next morning. Or night, he doesn’t know, can’t tell. The torch burns his eyes, and he closes them tightly to avoid one pain he doesn't have to endure. It’s better if he doesn’t look, anyways.

In his brief glimpse of his tormentor, Jaskier could tell that the torturer this time is the thin man. His counterpart is huge, with shockingly broad shoulders and big, meaty, uncoordinated hands. Most of the bruises are from the big one, who prefers to slam his fist into Jaskier’s ribs when he doesn’t hear what he wants to. In his brief and endless time here, Jaskier has learned that he prefers the meat man. The thin man who stands before him now is a surgeon, precise and accurate in all his movements. His fingers are long and thin, and they reach so easily inside to pluck at Jaskier’s delicate veins and nerves. In a strange way, Jaskier can almost appreciate it, one artist to another. The human body is an instrument to the thin man, and the music he makes is pain.

He can hear the sound of a cloth, rubbing across a smooth surface. It reminds him of Geralt, wiping down his blades with old silk, who he will not think of in this moment. Jaskier squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, trying to will his mind into stillness. He’s not any good at this, not really. He can talk around the issue, sure, draw it out as much as he likes, keep them guessing. Jaskier would never let a single unintentional detail slip, this he knows in the depths of his being, past the music and charm and frivolousness. Nothing could make him betray Geralt and Ciri. He could run the Nilfgaardians round in circles for years if he wanted to.

But he isn’t good with pain.

This time the first knife to pierce his skin isn’t even preceded by a question. It comes with little fanfare, slicing into the pad of one of his twisted fingers in what Jaskier knows is a painfully intentional line. Exactly as big and deep as it needs to be to hurt him how the thin man wants it to. It burns against the swollen skin, already too sensitive. Jaskier lets out a slow breath, trying to brace himself for the rest.

“I will no longer ask,” the thin man says. His voice is soft, with the almost musical lit of someone from near Toussaint. He always sounds breathy, like he’s been walking too quickly up a flight of stairs. “You know the question.”

Jaskier nods jerkily. He won’t speak for a while. He needs to draw it out, perhaps find a way to barter for some water or food. Information in exchange for things that might make his existence more bearable. Who knows how long it will be before -

No. Don’t think it.

The thin man hums and begins his work.

Jaskier fades, coming back to himself only when the pain becomes the worst. He passes out a few times, but he finds no reprieve. The thin man waits for him when he wakes, and begins again. Jaskier doesn’t even know what he’s doing anymore. All he knows is that his skin has been replaced with fire.

They haven’t even started working on his face yet, but the thin man had made some chilling comments about his eyes. Jaskier hopes they have time yet before that.

He’s gritting his teeth through a particularly deep incision on the inside of his forearm - just shallow enough not to be dangerous, but wide enough to sting - when the door to the room shatters inwards.

The chair that he’s in was bolted to the floor, which he expects is the only reason he doesn’t go flying backwards. As it is, his head rocks back from the blast and knocks into the wood, and he’s too dizzy from blood loss and dehydration and maybe a slight concussion to register what happens next. There’s some shouting, and a spray of something warm and salty across his face. A brilliant light, and then darkness.

He keeps his eyes closed until he feels hands on his cheeks. When he opens them, he is met with gold, gold, gold.

Geralt is here.

“Melitele, that took you long enough,” he says, and then he passes out.

***

When he wakes, there’s no pain.

He sits up and winces, amending that thought. There is, most definitely, some pain. It crackles along his ribs and his joints, aching, but it’s dulled. He’s lying in a small room, warm wooden logs forming the wall next to his small cot. A fire crackles merrily away on the far side of the little cottage, basic cooking implements hanging above it. A table sits underneath a window to his left, where he can just barely make out a thin line of blue sky above a dense treeline. His bed is covered in rough, simple cotton sheets; the room is warm enough that it needs no quilt. When he lifts them warily to assess the damage, his torso is wrapped in fine linens, the kind Geralt likes to keep in their packs for when jobs go south. Three of his fingers are heavily wrapped as well, bound together to keep them stiff and straight. He fumbles as he picks up the still mug of water he finds on the little shelf beside the cot, and he drinks so quickly he nearly drops it on the floor.

He’s so focused on the critical task of getting water from the mug into his mouth without spilling it all on the sheets that he almost doesn’t notice the front door opening. When he does, he jumps - can’t help it, suddenly filled with a bright spot of panic. It fades into sheer relief when he sees the slight silhouette and the faint, nearly white hair backlit by the late afternoon sun. Ciri stares at him, holding a wide, flat bowl against her hip while propping the door open with one hand. Suddenly the bowl goes clattering to the floor, dandelion greens falling in a floral carpet as she launches herself across the room at him.

“We were so fucking worried about you!” she says, throwing her arms around his shoulders. Jaskier laughs, the sound of it coming out rough but no less joyful for it. He lifts his sore arms to hug her back, ignoring the way it pulls at his healing injuries.

“Now what would your father say if he heard you using such language?” he asks. One hand lifts up to card gently through her hair. Ciri pulls back a bit, and he tucks a stray piece of it behind her ear as she glares at him. Her green eyes are covered in a film of tears, but he won’t mention it. His eyes are burning a bit as well.

“You know I only learned it from him,” she says, “and you. I’m angry with you. And him. You made us leave you behind.” She’s so young, he thinks, even with everything she’s been through. It makes something in his chest compress and expand at once. It’s a strange feeling, but not a bad one.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he says, and he means it, mostly. “I didn’t want to. But I would do it again, to protect you. Both of you.”

A stray tear slips down her cheek. “You were so hurt,” she croaks. She takes a few breaths through her nose, biting the inside of her lip. “When they brought you back, Geralt was so quiet. Not like normal quiet, but like, like people get when they don’t want to talk about how bad it is. I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” She looks bereaved, guilt twisting her young features, and Jaskier can’t stand it.

“No,” he says, firmly, as much authority in his voice as he can muster with it still raw from hours of screaming. “It was my choice, Ciri. The fact that people want to hurt you doesn’t make it your fault. I will always choose to protect you. Always.” He reaches out his free hand to take hers, squeezing it tightly. “You would do the same for me, Lioness.”

She nods shakily, and squeezes his hand back. He knows this isn’t the last time he’ll have to say it, but that’s alright. He’ll say it again.

Ciri wipes her eyes quickly and pulls away. “I need to get Geralt. He’s been… not good. He needs to know you’re awake.” She stands up, rushing over to the door and righting her upended bowl, saving what she can of the greens. Jaskier takes a moment to arrange himself on the bed a bit, shuffling around until he’s more comfortable.

“Not good how?” he asks. Ciri shoots him a look.

“Not good as in worried, of course. We all have. Even Yennefer. She stayed with you the entire first day you were back. It’s been -”

The door slams open again, this time revealing a panting Geralt. His hair is down around his face, looking slightly damp. He has on only a loose gray shirt over an old pair of trousers, the ones with a rip in the knee that Jaskier had told him to throw out but he’d insisted were good for at least one more season. Jaskier had been meaning to patch it up for a few weeks now. He’s so fucking beautiful Jaskier could cry.

“I was fishing,” Geralt says. He’s staring at Jaskier with wide eyes, one hand still on the door handle.

Ciri says, “Um. I’m going to find Yennefer,” and slips out the door under Geralt’s arm. Geralt doesn’t even seem to see her.

The door falls shut behind her, but Geralt seems rooted in place, staring at Jaskier with an expression that’s wide open and raw. It lands on Jaskier’s skin like a balm, tracing over every visible wound with desperate attention.

“Well,” Jaskier says finally, “I’m not going to bite you.”

Geralt makes a hurt noise, and suddenly he’s across the room, crowding into Jaskier’s space. He hovers beside the bed, curved over Jaskier’s propped up form with his hands inches away from bandaged shoulders. He hesitates. Jaskier can’t stand it.

“I didn’t get tortured for however long for you not to hug me once I’m rescued,” he snaps. “I’m not going to break.”

Geralt laughs, but it’s so strangled Jaskier isn’t actually sure it isn’t a sob, and then Geralt finally leans into him. His fingers come up to cradle Jaskier’s skull, holding onto the back of his neck like he really might fragment apart at too harsh a touch. His other arm circles around Jaskier’s chest until he can feel a warm palm spread along the base of his spine, anchoring him. Jaskier sighs, feeling the last of the tension leave him as he collapses against Geralt’s sturdy form. One wet strand of white hair tickles his cheek where he’s pressed against Geralt’s neck.

“Four days,” Geralt says, so soft Jaskier might not have heard it if he didn’t half feel it through the rumble of Geralt’s ribcage.

“Four days?” Jaskier repeats, turning it into a question.

“How long they had you.” A hot breath leaves him in a long sigh, tickling Jaskier’s eartip. “Didn’t know if we’d find you in time.”

“I should have let Yennefer put that tracking spell on me all those years ago,” Jaskier says, aiming for light. Geralt just squeezes him a bit tighter, enough that it stings a little, before he eases off a bit. He doesn't let go.

“She’ll do one as soon as she’s able,” Geralt says. “Used a lot of energy, healing you.”

“Exceptional job she did,” Jaskier says, soothing his nose along the line of Geralt’s throat. “My, ah. Well. Does she know if my - Any prognosis on, ah -”

“Your fingers will be fine,” Geralt says, bringing the hand on Jaskier’s neck down to cradle his bandaged fingers. “Yennefer said they’re mostly healed already, but she’s keeping them wrapped so you don’t aggravate them.”

Jaskier sighs in relief. “Well thank small mercies and powerful mages for that. How long am I bedridden for? I’m taking two days at least off of whatever orders Yennefer has given, knowing her she’s added an extra week just to keep me ‘out of trouble’ as she would describe it. I’ll not sit around a moment more than -”

“Jaskier,” Geralt interrupts. He pulls back, looking serious, almost grave. But his eyes are full of something else, something that makes Jaskier’s words catch and halt in his throat.

“Yes, dear heart?” he prompts. Geralt closes his eyes.

“I love you,” he says, soft and breathless. He opens his eyes suddenly, pupils blown wide as he meets Jaskier’s gaze. An expression that Jaskier has seen so, so many times steals across his features - scared, but determined. His witcher is a very brave man. “I’m in love with you. I didn’t know if I’d get to - if you would be -”

Jaskier reaches up to catch Geralt’s cheek in his wrapped palm, and Geralt’s eyelids flutter like he wants to close them, but he doesn’t. He stays looking at Jaskier, drinking him in as Jaskier is doing in return. His eyes are two spots of honey in the warm light of the fire and the afternoon sun spilling into the room. Jaskier leans forward and presses their lips together. His are too dry, and Geralt’s are a bit chapped. He bites them when he’s nervous, or worried. It’s also the most brilliant kiss Jaskier’s ever had - it feels like the relief of coming to a familiar place after a long time on the road, where you know the people and the food is good and everyone knows your songs. It’s cheerful fires in silver blue campsites, blankets shared on cold nights on the journey north, buttercups and dandelions braided into snow white hair. It’s coming home, the only way Jaskier has ever really known how.

He pulls away, letting their foreheads fall together, just breathing in the space between them. Geralt smells like Roach, and fresh spring water, and lilac. “I know, sweetheart. I love you too.”

Geralt smiles at him, really smiles, beautiful and relieved. Ciri’s voice comes to them through the window, excited and drawing nearer, interwoven with a smoother tone that Jaskier remembers from hazy half wakeful moments. Yennefer will want to check on his wounds, will lecture them on getting distracted and ruining her hard work, but she will also smile and it will touch her eyes like it didn’t used to. But for the next few seconds, it’s just the two of them, and once again the moment feels unhurried and infinite. So he leans back in to kiss him again and steals Geralt’s quiet huff of a laugh to keep within his own mouth, and for a moment that’s everything there is.

#geraskier #jaskierxgeralt #geraltxjaskier #geralt/jaskier #the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #dandelion #ciri #writing #fan fiction #whump #tw: throwing up #tw: torture #brief head trauma but it's not discussed bc yenn heals it pretty immediately #passing out #my tags make this sound worse than it is probably lmao #my work #<5

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tastyykpop · 4 years ago

Text

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2

Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader

Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff

<previous- next>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy

a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯

"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.

"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"

You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.

Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"

"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"

"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.

"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."

"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"

"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"

Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"

"YERI!!"

Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.

"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.

"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.

Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.

Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.

"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.

Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"

He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."

You tried your hardest not to blush.

"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.

"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.

"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.

You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.

"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.

"This isnt what I wanted..."

The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"

Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."

"So you regret it?"

You shrugged.

Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.

"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.

"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.

You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"

"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"

Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.

"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.

"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.

Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"

You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"

"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.

"Its a long story-"

"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."

"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "

"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."

"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.

You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"

"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.

"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.

"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.

"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."

You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."

"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.

"How do you know he wasnt lying?"

Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."

"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.

"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.

2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.

There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.

People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.

"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.

"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.

"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."

"Im not dumb jaemin."

He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."

You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.

"I dont think-"

"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.

It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.

The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.

"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.

Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?

"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.

"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.

You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.

Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.

Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.

Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.

Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.

"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"

You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.

"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."

Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."

He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.

"Can't im helping someone with trig after."

She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."

"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."

Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.

You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.

"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.

"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."

The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.

"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."

Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.

God, now you just wanted to leave.

Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.

"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.

"Repeat what I had just said."

You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.

Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.

"Im sorry I was distracted..."

"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."

Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.

"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.

"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"

"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.

"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"

"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.

"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.

A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.

"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.

"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.

"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."

"N-no.."

Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."

So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.

After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.

"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.

"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.

The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.

Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.

It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.

"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.

"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.

Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.

She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."

"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.

"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.

After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.

Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.

"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.

"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.

Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."

You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."

"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.

"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.

Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.

One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.

"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"

"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.

Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."

"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.

"I hate him."

"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.

"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.

You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"

Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.

His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.

Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.

"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.

"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."

Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.

"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.

Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!

Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.

The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.

Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.

For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.

So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.

You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"

#nct smut #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #wayv #nct 2020 #na jaemin smut #na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin nct dream #na jaemin nct #kpop smut #kpop

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years ago

Text

I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #2

Because I don’t love myself enough, I guess. Let’s continue.

Recap in case you missed the first part: it’s boring, Jared acts like he stumbled on the set and never heard about it before, Texan law enforcement must wear very pristine shirts and cowboy hats or they will die, I guess, the cinematography wants to be good but I’m not sure it knows how to do it.

The last thing I mentioned in the first post was Jared doing a thing with his mouth but I think you need to see it. It’s basically the extent of Jared’s acting in this show. I had nothing against you, man, I swear. I even got your autograph once. I’m not a hater. I’m just looking at him...

THE TITLE CARD! I had paused the episode riiight before the title card. You have to witness it in all its embarrassing glory

Whose idea was it??

Some shots of the city of Austin. Walker and Martinez (Mexican Lady Cop) are having lunch. She says she’s heard about him, he asks what she’s learnt, she says, I textuallty quote, “I hear you are the edge of the coin”. Again, we are not allowed to have any kind of slight metaphor without the dialogue slapping us in the face with it.

“Not head or tail, just... your way” Jared didn’t even come up with the metaphor in that interview, it was in the script. Unless he came up with that line, which isn’t even a good line.

She basically tells him not to get in the way of her career. Being a Mexican-American cop is hard! Such deep commentary.

They start discussing the case, which I had already forgotten about. The cop who was slightly assaulted and won’t talk about it. “Maybe whatever was in that truck spooked him enough to abandon his oath” maybe it was a monster. god I wish it was a monster so that’d mean I’m watching Supernatural and Jensen is in it. The “oath” thing is kinda icky, like they want to remind us that being a cop is a noble path. It is in some places under some conditions. But we’re talking about Generic American conditions.

He’s like “let’s use the traffic cams to see if we can see something” and he slips right into his Sam tone. Admittedly that’s a Sam kind of thing to say.

It was day, and now it’s night. Walker house. He arrives when his family have already started dinner. Except the daughter isn’t there, she’s out with a friend. “Isabel, some Mexican girl” Walker’s father calls the friend. “Mexican American, dad” the gay brother corrects him, a deep and interesting commentary on ethnicity in the United States, we’re weeping with emotion.

Walker apparently isn’t happy that his mother has enrolled his daughter in a Catholic school, his father snaps back at him. We don’t care. We’re not emotionally invested in any of this.

There’s some awkward dialogue because he mentions the daughter playing basketball, but she’s switched to soccer. Wow, it’s like she’s become an entirely different person in those eleven months he was undercover! Can you believe? Apparently she used to play soccer before, she’s come back to it. Whoa. She’s an utterly unrecognizable person now, it’s going to be so hard for Walker to get to know her again from scratch. Can you believe?

Then he gets a call. He needs to pick up the daughter from the police station. He does some Jared awkward faces and leaves.

The daughter (Stella) was at a party and was arrested for possession. I miss when possession meant demonic possession. Dramatic music plays. She’s there with the Mexican American friend, whose parents arrive and he starts a speech on how they should get to know each other better. It is so not the right context to start making friends. “Epic first meeting” Isabel says. “I’m so sorry, this is so embarrassing” Stella says. “For who?” Walker quips, like a normal person does.

He’s like, let’s go, and the girls hug, which is the only believable expression of affection I’ve seen so far in the episode. Can’t the story be about Stella and Isabel?

Father-daughter conversation in the truck. Apparently we have emotional moments in cars, which we have never seen on television before.

He asks what she was thinking, she’s like, duh what do people use drugs for. She calls him out for disappearing completely. She mentions how it was bad enough that they didn’t have mom. He says “we both got to stop acting like she’s gonna come back and put us right” which makes absolutely zero sense. It’s like someone wrote it on a note for how to develop the characters and they just decided to slap it into the script of the pilot. Remember these people haven’t seen each other for eleven months, he left shortly after his wife died. They didn’t have the time to process the grief together, why is he even saying that line here?

Meanwhile Martinez get home and we meet her boyfriend, a very cute Black man. They’re cute. Why can’t the story be about them?

He asks her about Walker, she says he’s a mess. Oh god. She says he was a Marine, “signed after 9/11”. Holy shit. He’s a Marine who signed up after asdfghjkl can’t you feel the Manly Trauma here????

He’s a Marine who signed up to fight Muslims after 9/11 and now has a dead wife, he’s exactly the kind of male lead character we need right now.

She says she’s trying to figure him out. Her boyfriend is like “dude stop thinking about that guy, he’s not at home trying to figure you out” and she replies “oh I’m pretty sure he thinks he knows everything about me already”.

This is the first scene that hasn’t felt bad so far.

Meanwhile Jared and his brother go to a bar. It’s very ~Texas Aesthetic~, and they’re wearing cowboy hats, of course. You are not allowed to go to a bar without a cowboy hat in Texas. “The brothers Walker” the flannel-shirt-clad bartender says, coming with drinks. Jensen Ackles makes a face somewhere in the mountains.

The brother goes to call his partner and the bartender starts chatting with Walker. She has a conversation with Jared’s awkward faces and she’s like, I guess you left because I couldn’t answer your questions about what happened yo your wife. This is how people converse in real life.

She asks him if he’s alright and he doesn’t answer, instead is like “let’s have a dance”. He doesn’t say he’s fine, but I think it still counts as a I’m Fine Lie Moment #2 because that’s what it is in spirit.

I know you’re bored, I’m bored.

They dance in the Texan bar, I’m distracted by the pool tables and wish this was Supernatural so we’d see Jensen Ackles play pool.

Obviously the dance is interrupted by work - a text from Ramirez who says she’s got something, “office 8am?” so he leaves because he has to wake up early. I’m not kidding.

I was kind of warmed over by Ramirez and her cute boyfriend and by the bar who was kind of nice as a location, when the next scene at the office immediately starts with Ramirez saying “My mom wouldn’t let me play with dolls when I was a kid, so Iearned about cars instead”. I die a little inside. It’s the second time she’s referred to her mother wanting a son...? So she’s badass because she wasn’t raised to be feminine...? Ew.

So they have this lead thanks to her knowledge of cars. They go investigate. I’m bored.

I shouldn’t have said I was bored, because Walker destroys my boredom by having Jared pick up a cross and start talking to “JC” sarcastically asking him for guidance about his kids going to the Catholic school. “Can you stop” Ramirez says, along with all of us.

By the way they’re in a workshop run by an ex-convict who employs former criminals to make figurines (like that cross). I got a bad feeling about this. Former criminal in cop shows is always code for current criminal.

The investigation leads to two guys who work in the store - “oh I know you,” one immediately says when he spots Walker, “you’re the ranger with the dead wife”. Walker is like, what did you say. And the guy is like oh I heard the story of a ranger’s wife biting a bullet near the border, guess you couldn’t protect her uh~~~

They exchange more provocations - Walker calls him some lowlife something and the guy goes to punch him and Walker beats him up. Violently. I’m uncomfortable. We’re supposed to think he’s exaggerating here but... he does get very violent and should not be a cop. Period.

They go to Ramirez’ house because he cut his hand. Her boyfriend is like “baby there’s a dude bleeding on your couch” I want a season of him, exclusively him.

She scolds Walker. Not because he beat up a guy with more force than needed, but because he acted stupid and that’s bad for her career. I’m uncomfortable.

Also, what’s bad is that they’re supposed to work *together*. He says he has his own way of doing things. Yikes yikes yikes.

She says that her theory is that they put them together because he always break the rules. Apparently she read up his cases and he always break the rules. The main character of the show is a cop who break the rules in half the cases he works. Yikes yikes yikes but also did I mention yikes?

No, wait, he acknowledges that he “bends” the rules, like that’s better! Yikes!

More bad dialogue, then Stella’s school calls him. She hasn’t been at school.

He goes to ask Isabel’s mother, who reveals they haven’t their papers yet, so any criminal activity would mean deportation. He talks about it with Ramirez and mentions that his brother who’s a DA could get in contact with the Feds to speed up the papers. Are we supposed to be like “oh what a good guy”? The thing is just creepy to me.

Well, at least Ramirez says something about it, or actually quotes her mother who used to say that the law doesn’t protect us. That’s why she ~burned bridges~ with her family! Apparently because she became a cop.

Ow. Her mother is not speaking to her because for her, her daughter being a cop is like a betrayal. But for her it’s a way to set things right! We’re supposed to think her mother is exaggerated. #notallcops #individualgoodcopscanchangethesystemfromtheinsideforsuredefinitely

Meanwhile their investigation continues. Remember the cross Walker randomly picked up to mock the concept of Jesus? Ramirez stole it. And now they find out there’s heroin in it. Alright... obviously the business that was supposed to rehabilitate former criminals is a cover for cartel drug dealing. What were we expecting. I’m tired.

Ramirez decides to work the case alone and sends Walker to look for his daughter. “I was that kid once, I always wanted to be found”. The impression you get from the scene is that Walker had forgotten about his daughter missing lol. Ramirez insists he goes. I’m uncomfortable with how many times people put on cowboy hats. Someone should count. We’re only 30 minutes in and it feels like it’s happened 80 times.

Alright, a break now! My laptop’s ventilation is running like crazy, VLC and long tumblr drafts are a bad combination. Or maybe it’s just my laptop being allergic to this show.

#cw's jared: legit texan #marghe watches walker for some darned reason

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nothing-but-dreamy · 4 years ago

Text

VALUED

Pairing: Chocobros x Reader

Words: 2.683

Warnings: fluff, friendship

Synopsis: Yn doubts herself and then, it's good to have a bunch of good friends nearby to remind her that she's valued by them.

"Hey, pretty doll. Why are you with these guys? Join me instead. I'm more fun than them.", a guy, dressed in dusty shorts and an old t-shirt, leaning casually against a boarding, called out with a smug smile as yn and her friends passed him.

Usually, she ignored provocations or flirting like this but this time, Yn sized the guy up, looking doubting about his statement, "I would rather love to die on the spot.", she answered, turning around to continue her way to the motel where the group was currently staying to help out with some hunts before they would continue their journey.

"Uhh, harsh words from such a little girl.", the guy said grinning.

Within one second, Yn stopped and jumped at the guy, casted one of her daggers out of nowhere to press it dangerously close against his throat, "Who do you call 'little girl', huh?", she hissed while staring into his shock-filled eyes.

"Yn!", Gladio called out, reaching her with just three strides of his long legs to drag her away from the guy who was white as salt, "What are you doing?"

Yn was trembling in his strong grip to get free, "He called me little girl. So, let me go!", she hissed through gritted teeth, stemming against his hold once again.

"No!", he boomed with his deep voice, "First, you have to calm down.", Gladio demanded. He was struggling with keeping her in place. Not because she would be that strong rather because he didn't mean to hurt her.

"But he's an asshole!", Yn argued angrily, wiggling under Gladio's hands.

"Hey!", the guy called out as he found his voice again.

"Yes, he is but still.", Gladio said, ignoring the guy's complaint.

"Hey, I can hear you!", the guy called out again but he got silenced by Gladio's angry glance shot at him.

"And you should leave or I will release her after all.", Gladio commanded and the guy disappeared.

As he was gone, Gladio released Yn but was also watching out that she stayed where she was, "What the hell was that? You can't attack random people with daggers.", Gladio said admonishingly, crossing his arms over his chest but his expression softened as he saw her sad glance glued to the ground.

Softly, Gladio placed his index finger under her chin, "Yn, that wasn't just because they called you 'little girl', right? You never did something like this before."

But instead of answering, yn just shrugged with her shoulders and looked away again.

"If it was because of that, you know that none of us sees you like this, right? You're an important part of our group.", Gladio said, calming in hope he got through to her.

"But sometimes it doesn't feel like that. None of you really need me. It's not that I would be useful. All of you are much better fighters than I am. With bigger swords or better skills.", Yn said glumly and because Gladio stayed silent, she took it as an agreement, passed him and the others to go back to the motel room.

Disbelieving, Gladio stared after her. Almost shocked, he watched how one of his best friends went away with slumped shoulders, a hanging head and her hands buried deep into the pockets of her jeans.

"What just happened?", Ignis asked confused as he stepped next to Gladio.

"Is something wrong with her?"Prompto asked, concerned as he also watched Yn walking away. Noctis joined as well, frowning about the unusual behavior. They had watched the scene because they were sure Gladio would be able to handle that. Somehow, they were wrong...

"I have no idea...", Gladio said confused, scratching the back of his neck. Since he knew her, Yn was the best female fighter he had met. Yes, she was smaller but extremely fast. Faster than Ignis and Prompto when she was fighting against creatures and enemies. Yes, she used daggers just like Ignis but she wasn't less deadly with them.

There was no reason for her to feel … useless.

Gladio was still staring after Yn even as she was already out of sight as Ignis stepped in front of him, "We should do something to help her.", he said, tapping with his index finger against his lips, trying to find an idea.

"But what could we do?", Prompto asked, "I always thought she knows how important she is to us-"

"It's not about us. You heard her. She is doubting her fighting skills.", Gladio pointed out. Slowly but surely, he understood what might be going on with her. Even as a King's Shield, he had been at the same point. He just had fought through it.

"So, what are you suggesting? Shall we train with her?", Prompto asked naively that this would fix things.

"Actually, I might have an idea.", Noctis said and pulled a piece of paper out of the back pocket of his pants.

***

Yn sat on her bed in the motel room she shared with the boys and let her legs slowly dangling over the edge while she stared out of the window. Behind the glass was nothing to be seen but sand, dust and a bunch of bushes. The blue sky was cloudless. The weather was sunny and cheerful. The complete opposite to her current mood.

Over and over again, her mind played through the attack on that random guy. And each time, she winced at the memory. Never before, she had attacked someone randomly just because of some teasing. And it wasn't just the 'little girl' thing. It had been the glances back in Insomnia as she had trained with different weapons to extend her skills. She heard the whispers behind her back when she walked next to Gladio who was so much taller than herself while they were discussing new move sets. Then, she left with her friends and even then, someone had asked her if this journey would be the right thing for such a small, pretty girl. As if her height and appearance would be everything that mattered.

With a swift move, Yn casted her daggers into her hands. Kukris. She never had seen such beautiful blades like these two with all their ornaments and detailed engravings. She felt honored as King Regis had given them to her. She felt blessed to be able to wield them to defend and to protect the Prince and her other friends. But nevertheless, sometimes, it felt as if it wasn't enough.

Since they had passed the secure wall of their home, Yn was doubting herself. None of the boys gave her the feeling to be useless. She did it on her own. Years of training and dedication to be a good fighter went south as she saw how good the others were on the field. All of them had much more training and even Noctis was able to wield a greatsword - which Yn couldn’t even move one bit.

While she stared at her daggers, tears were building in her eyes and as she blinked, hot teardrops were falling on the daggers. Angry about herself, she casted them away. Now, she didn't even feel worthy to own them...

"Here you are!", Gladio said as he opened the door of the motel room.

Quickly, Yn wiped the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her black sweatshirt before she turned around, facing all four boys standing in front of her. She was sure they would notice that she had cried but they said nothing about it, "What is it?", she asked carefully, not knowing what would come next.

It was Prompto who answered her question as he jumped on the bed to land next to her, flinging his arm around her shoulders, "Noctis got asked for help by Tikka. A delivery of green beans went missing and we shall take a look if we can find it."

Amused, yn looked from Prompto at Noctis, "You wanna rescue green beans? You?"

"Yeah... I know. Come on, we hit the road.", Noctis said and left the room, followed by Ignis.

Prompto jumped from the bed and ran after them, "On the way, we can check if we find anything interesting so I can take a photo."

"If not, you can take selfies ... as usual.", Noctis teased and because they were already out of sight, yn just heard their bickering.

At the door, Gladio waited for yn, "You know, if you wanna talk about something, I'm there for you.", he said softly, checking on her but stayed silent.

Yn smiled up at him, already feeling better again, "Thanks. I will talk to you just … give me some time."

***

"Just green beans, huh? Green beans my ass.", yn stated as she watched Bulettes emerging form the small wood they just had passed. The four tall, very heavy and very angry animals aimed for her and her friends.

Gladio was already casting his great sword, wielding it over his head, "Come on, a little fight will keep us slinky and flexible.", he said and nudged her shoulder with his own before he smirked at her.

With a grin, yn looked up at the tall guy, "Slinky and flexible aren't words I would use to describe you, big guy.", she said teasingly.

"Ouch, no need to be mean.", Gladio called out, playfully hurt before they both aimed for the first animal.

Quickly, the calm and beautiful meadow changed into a raging battlefield. Gladio and Yn ran to the first animal and even before Gladio could make the first hit, he squatted down and offered Yn his hand and arm. Grinning, she stepped on his arm, one foot on his hand, balancing while casting her daggers and tensing up her muscles before Gladio gave her a push to throw her on top of the animal. Yn landed perfect on the back. Quickly, she found her balance again and while Gladio slammed his great sword into the skin of the animal, Yn swirled her Kukris and sank them into the throat and neck of the raging Bulette. The Kukris stuck but instead to pull them out, Yn spun them around until the animal fell to the ground.

Lifeless.

Yn jumped from the carcass with a flip and landed light-footed in front of Gladio who grinned impressed, "One down, three to go. Come on, I guess the others need our help."

"Yn, over here!", Noctis called out and Yn followed him immediately. Noctis was ready for a warp-attack that would give the opportunity of a blitz attack. Noctis warped with his KINGSBLADE against the animal and bounced back next to Yn. They nodded, taking a run-up of a few steps and while Noctis let himself drop on one knee to attack the feet of the Bulette, Yn ran and stepped on Noctis' back to jump against the broad enemy to thrust her daggers between its ribs into the heart. She stayed a few moments longer to make sure the creature was dead. As it fell lifeless to the ground, Yn stemmed her feet against the ribcage and pulled out her daggers.

Yn was just about to catch her breath as Prompto called her over, "Yn, I could need your help."

She turned her head before she spurted over to her friend. Prompto already had drawn his gun, firing at the beast but as Yn stopped next to him, they nodded at each other with a grin, turning over so they were standing back to back before Prompto was aiming for the animal again. Yn did the same with her daggers. From the corner of her eyes, she waited for his sign. As Prompto nodded with a grin, he fired his gun the same moment Yn threw her Kukri. The shot staggered the animal in its way towards them. It became slower while Yn's dagger penetrated the skull of the animal. The Bulette stumbled over its feet, fell to the ground and slid a small way before it stopped in front of their feet.

As yn thought it would be over, Ignis called her over to him, "Come on, I need you for the finisher.", he called out. With a huge grin on her lips, Yn ran towards him. Gladio and Noctis had made the animal already tired. Ignis and Yn bumped their fists against each other, stepped back and ran then to the animal to attack it at the same time with their daggers before they landed side by side on the other side elegantly on their knees. Everything happened so fast, that the Bulette needed a moment to realize that it had no chance anymore and so, it fell lifeless to the ground.

All five friends were breathless but alive, unharmed and happy. With a rapid pulse, Yn turned around to look at the scene of battle while she casted the daggers away.

Ignis inspected the corpses, "We should take something with us before we find a good spot for camping and cooking.", he said and Prompto already joined him to help with the preparations.

***

Two hours later, the tent was built, the food was cooked and eaten and Prompto, Ignis and Noctis stretched themselves, the sign that they were ready for the night. One by one, they called it a night until just Gladio and Yn were left behind, sitting at the crackling campfire in silence observing the calming flames.

Yn watched how small sparks danced endlessly into the dark blue night sky. Stars were scattered over the firmament like millions of diamonds. Her eyes stayed glued to the stars while she smiled softly, "I know what you all did today.", she whispered, breaking the silence.

"What... what do you mean?", Gladio asked, trying to sound convincing but it wasn't working very well, he saw it in her face.

"There never were any green beans, right?", Yn pointed out, still looking to the stars.

Gladio chuckled low, scratching the back of his neck before he looked apologetically at her, "Actually, no... not really."

"I thought that it was a bit odd for Noctis to run around to search for a bunch of vegetables.", Yn said before she looked into Gladio's face, "Thank you.", she whispered sheepishly.

Gladio laid his arm around her shoulders, "You're welcome, sweetheart. You're valued here. Always. We wanted to show you that.", he whispered before he pressed a soft kiss on top of her hair. He pulled her against his side where she snuggled against his chest. It wasn't the first time that they were seeking comfort in each other but this time it felt more important.

Gladio rested his head on top of hers and looked back into the flames, "We have your back, no matter what. You know, I've been there as well. I also had doubts about myself. I guess that's normal. You just have to remember what you're capable of. We trust you all blindly because we know what you are able to do.", Gladio said low.

A single tear was rolling down Yn's cheek by his words and suddenly, everything that had happened looked stupid and odd. Quickly, Yn wiped the tears away, "I feel so stupid.", she whispered.

Gladio straightened himself to look at her, "You don't have to. It's human to doubt oneself from time to time. And the next time, when you feel like this, just come to me. Talk with me. You don't have to go through this alone. Size isn't all that matters.", Gladio said with a smirk.

Yn felt touched by this big, cuddly teddy bear and so, she threw herself against his solid body with her arms flung around his middle. Gladio mimicked her move and embraced her back, "And by the way, you have the perfect size to lean and to snuggle against me like this. That's a good start, don't you think?", he chuckled but Yn couldn't answer.

"Cuddle time!", Prompto called out and within one second, Gladio and Yn were attacked by Prompto, Ignis and Noctis. Buried underneath her friends, Yn felt her confidence coming back.

She felt valued.

#final fantasy imagines #final fantasy gladiolus #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy #final fantasy ignis #final fantasy prompto #final fantasy noctis #fandom support #fandoms #writing #gladio amiticia #ff15 ignis #ff15 gladio #ff15 noctis #ff15 prompto #prompto argentum #noctis caelum #chocobros

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local-hovering-corpse · 4 years ago

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☾ The Masquerade Night, part 2 of 2 (Waltzing with Asra) ☽

After the magical encounter with Asra earlier that evening, the magician is all you can think of. Well... the night is about to get more special. part 1 here 1st person, gender-neutral MC. 1,230 words. Play the songs to complete the experience ;)

I'm walking around the palace, every room I enter is overflowing with guests. After the crystal lady took me to the carriage, she soon found something else to be amused by, but I didn't bother following her. I was left to roam around, which is not so bad, but not what I wished happened. As I pace without direction, I recognize some people who live in my neighbourhood, even behind their masks. They smile and say 'hi' when passing by me, but everyone is clearly more interested in their own pairs to engage in an actual conversation with me. In between these exchanges, my mind goes back to the encounter I had earlier that night. No, I repeat to myself, I'm not in love - just mildly attracted -, but the moment felt so special... Asra felt special. Without intending it, my eyes search for their white hair in every room I walk in; for my disappointment, I find nothing but a swarm of not-very-special partygoers.

A loud bell strikes, inviting the guests to direct themselves to the ballroom, to watch the count and the countess do the very first dance of the night. It's not where I want to go, but if I tried to walk away I would just be swimming upstream, so I let the crowd guide me. I stop at the corner of the ballroom, refusing to approach the centre any further. The classy music starts, countess Nadia and count Lucio descend the stairs. From where I am, I can see a lot of what is happening. The count and the countess look ravishing, they're both good dancers and the lights give a romantic feeling to the ambient. Soon, more people join in, crowding the dancefloor. I stay where I am; no one asks me to dance, although I would only accept the invitation of one person...

"What is such a lovely magician doing alone during the dance?" I turn my head. Asra is here! Clothes different from when I last saw them and wearing one of the masks from the vend. My laugh is louder than I expected. "Missed me already?" "Asra, I... I'm happy to see y... A familiar face... Someone who actually talks to me, you know?" I'm bouncing as I speak. "Did you left your stand alone?" "No! Faust it's taking care of everything. Don't worry, she's tougher than she looks!" They laugh, sending butterflies on my stomach. Asra spends a long moment just looking around the room. Are they going to say anything or...? "Do you wanna dance?" The words come before I have time to second guess 'em. "I thought you would never ask." A provocative smile appears on their face as they take my hand and lead me to the dancefloor. Asra's hands are on my hips: their soft touch still feels firm, as if scared I might disappear. We are just stepping from side to side, getting used to each other's body, but when the song changes to a different tune, Asra starts to guide me with more defined movements.

As if they have a dance in mind, their steps become larger, exploring all the dance floor with me; almost like we're the only people in the palace, although the ballroom is still crowded. Considering everyone around us is dancing however they want, our more coordinated waltz is probably catching a lot of attention. Asra spins me, holding me much firmly once I return to their arms. With one hand on my waist and the other holding my outed hand, they push me against their chest, while Asra whispers something in my ear, that I barely hear.

"You didn't answer my question." I can hear their smile. "What question?" I try to focus my memory on the last question Asra made me, unsuccessfully. I go back to reality as the skirt of my dress hits a particularly grumpy partygoer. My partner laughs. "You're the distracted sort, hum? Well, now you'll have to answer me. Do you believe in destiny, Y/N?" "I don't know." I say, after some time thinking about the question. "I was never given a reason to believe in it, at least." They smile as if they know a secret but say nothing. We keep spinning together, following the strong instrumentals, pulling our bodies away and close to each other, never parting our hands. People on the dance floor are changing pairs, but both of us deny the invitations to do so. Instead, Asra keeps guiding me through the ballroom, twirling and lifting me.

"Aren't you curious?" Well, I have no idea what they're talking about; yes, I'm curious. Why do they have to be so vague? As if reading the confusion on my face, Asra answers: "About the card that I pulled. I asked about the reason we met tonight; don't you wanna know what the Arcana has to say?" My eyes light up. Yes, I do wanna know! But Asra expression is a conundrum to me and I decide to play their game. "Oh, yes. What card have you pulled, Asra?" I say ironically and monotonously, trying to hide my interest. As the song reaches the last note, Asra unexpectedly dips me, making me break my indifferent character. We're at the centre of the room, every eye darting our extravagant final pose; I feel my cheeks flush.

After what felt like a never-ending pause, a new song fills up the palace. Asra pulls me up, holding me close to their chest. Lips brushing on my ears, they finally answer my question. "The Lovers." My heart skips a beat. We silently waltz as I think of a reply worth being said. "...Pretty straightforward, huh?" I fail at my attempt to say something important. "As a tarot reader, you must know we're not fated by any of the cards, right?" I answer a yes, somehow managing to keep up with the dance - the one happening outside and the uncoordinated thoughts dancing inside my mind. "Yet, I chose to come here and find you, to see if they were right..." "Did you reach a conclusion?" Asra lifts me while pondering the question. "Maybe." They don't elaborate. A furtive smile spreads across my face; I gave up playing disinterested at this point. Good thing Asra has a matching smile on their face. "I heard a lot of interesting messages, by the way. I could tell you what those were, but that wouldn't be as fun, right? Guess you'll have to discover along the way..."

Eventually, the song fades out, but instead of waiting for a new melody, Asra slowly pulls away. "It's that the time? Well, Faust can take care of herself, but I prefer not to leave her waiting for so long..." They bow, still looking at me. "It has been a pleasure to dance with you." "The pleasure was all mine." I bow back. "I hope we will meet each other soon." "You know where to find me." They wink and walk away, mixing with the crowd. I do not feel the urge to follow Asra. As my heart throws a parade inside my chest, the swarm of ideas in my mind gives away to one thought: I know I will see them again. I absent-mindedly walk in the opposite direction, mixing with the lovely crowd of acquaintances and strangers; a marvellous night.

#Spotify #the arcana asra #the arcana headcanons #the arcana #the arcana game #asra the magician #asra alzanar #asra x mc #asra x reader #my writing #the masquerade #waltzing #comfort character #happy birthday asra

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myrandomfandomramblings · 4 years ago

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Chenford fanfic - Tim talks to Angela about his feelings for Lucy

“I hate you!” Angela’s son shouted at Tim before throwing himself down on the front lawn.

“Sorry about him. They call it the terrible twos for a reason,” Angela explained.

“It’s fine. He’s right”

“He’s right?” Angela questioned “You think he should be able to ride in the back of the truck with Cujo to the park?”

“Well no, obviously not.”

“Good. Then what is he right about?”

“He should hate me. Everyone should.” Tim said it matter of factly but Angela could see the pain etched into the lines of his face.

“That’s bullshit,” Angela retorted lowering her voice so her son still pouting in the grass wouldn’t hear, “what’s going on?”

“Nothing. It’s fine. I’m fine. Can we go to the park now?”

“No way. You’re not getting out of this that easy. Sit. Talk,” she said pointing to porch steps.

Tim sighed but obediently took a seat beside Angela.

“So enlighten me,” Angela started “Why should everyone hate you because I definitely don’t and either does Harper or Jackson or Lucy.” Upon hearing Lucy’s name Tim winced.

“So this is about Lucy,” Angela reasoned a smirk appearing on her face, “Spill Bradford. We’re not going anywhere until you do and I’ve got all day,” she added stretching her legs out in front of her, reclining back and linking her fingers behind her head.

Tim rolled his eyes but he must have realized Angela was serious because he started talking. “A couple weeks ago Chen and I stopped at the food trunks for lunch after taking Cujo for a hike and while we were eating, a piece of her hair fell in her face and before I knew it my hand was reaching up to tuck it back behind her ear. Luckily, she got to it first and I was able to act like I was just reaching for a napkin. But I was going to do it. I’m that dick,” Tim spit out.

“That’s it?” Angela questioned “You think you’re a dick and everyone should hate you because you almost tucked a piece of hair back behind Lucy’s ear? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?”

“It’s not stupid,” Tim countered, “I turned into the type of guy I hate. The type of guy who comes on to his friend, like he’s entitled to something from her, like he deserves something more for being a good friend. The type of guy who makes unwanted advancements on his coworkers, creating an unsafe work environment then blames the woman when HR gets involves or claims that he shouldn’t be held responsible because he had no control over his actions,” he ranted.

“OK I’m going to stop you right there because you are spiralling, badly,” Angela interrupted, “Do you really think you are entitled to or deserve any kind of romantic or physical relationship from Chen because of your history?”

“No of course not, but-“

“-good, so we’ve established your not that guy. Next, would you ever hit-on someone at work?”

“No.”

“Would you make sexual remarks to or about someone at work?”

“No.”

“And if you misread a situation or made a mistake with a coworker outside of work would you take 100% responsibility for your actions.”

“Of course”

“Good, so we’ve established you’re not that guy either.”

“But I shouldn’t misread a situation or make a mistake. Not in this area.”

“Tim everybody makes mistakes. That’s what makes us human. Do you try to ask permission before you touch anyone,”

“Yes, but I didn’t. Don’t you see. I was about to stroke her cheek without asking or any provocation.”

“Stroke her cheek? I thought you were justing putting her hair behind her ear.” She raised her eyebrow.

“Angela, this is serious”

“Fine, you’re right. Consent is important. So say you had brushed her cheek and she had recoiled or told you to stop, what would you have done.”

“Stopped. Apologized. Died from embarrassment.”

“Right, so if you misread or screw up and forget to ask that doesn’t make you a horrible person as long as you stop and make it right as soon as you realize you did something wrong otherwise I think we’d all be considered horrible people worthy of hating.”

“You’re right. I guess I took it a little too far. But I still feel bad for having these feelings for Lu-Chen, she deserves better.”

“She deserves better than someone who would do anything for her? Who makes her feel safe and comfortable and who she can trust with her life? I think she’d be lucky to have you and also really happy. I see the way she looks at you.”

At this Tim’s face contorted into an expression of pure shock but it was quickly replaced by the same grumpy expression he had been wearing before. “It doesn’t matter anyway, I could never ask her out?”

It was Angela’s turn to look shocked. “You’ve actually thought about asking her out? Like that’s something you want to do?”

Figuring there was no going back now, Tim decided to be honest. “Honestly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since that moment. I think I’m in love with her.” He dragged his hands down his face as if trying to wipe away the weight of his feelings.

Angela just smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “If you truly love her don’t you think you owe it to both of you to tell her.”

“It’s not that simple. I was her training officer.”

“Ya, over two years ago. You’re not her direct superior anymore you have no power over her.”

“Ya but I have sway in the department and I still write her references when she needs one. What if she feels pressured to say yes because I could damage her career if she doesn’t.”

Angela actually laughed at that. “There is absolutely no way you would ever do anything to jeopardize Lucy’s career and even more no way that Lucy would think you would.”

“Fine so if she’s not interested she’ll say no, which is good, except it will be super awkward and potentially affect our friendship and our working relationship. I don’t want to do that to her.”

“You think it’s better to lie to her?”

“I’m not lying to her.”

“Omitting the truth is the same as lying. Do you really think she would prefer being comfortable because of a lie over feeling a little awkward because of the truth?”

“No, I guess not but what would people think if we were in a relationship? That she got special treatment when I was training her? That she only passed because we were sleeping together? That I shouldn’t be trusted in a position of power because I would abuse it?”

“Okay, One, I doubt anyone would think that you’ve been in a secret relationship for over two years. Two, between Chen’s exam marks and her shooting competition win its pretty clear she didn’t need any special treatment to complete her Rookie year. Plus, doing everything you can to help your boot is the mark of a good TO, I would know I did more to make sure Jackson got through then you did for Chen and I definitely wasn’t in love with him.”

Tim smirked at that but didn’t say anything so Angela continued

“People are always going to have opinions but you shouldn’t let that stop you from doing something that’s going to make you happy.”

“I know your right but-”

“Nope, no more buts, you’re just making excuses because you’re scared, which is natural, that’s how you know it’s real. I’m not going to pressure you to tell her but I hope sometime in the near future you will and in the meantime I’m here if you ever want to talk.

“Thanks.”

“Of course, now should we get these two hooligans to the park?”

#chenford #tim bradford #angela lopez #lucy chen #the rookie

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