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salem-witch-slut · 23 hours ago

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I Don't Need You (Don't You Leave Me)(18+)

Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie were always at each other's throats. Everything between you two felt like a competition. But when you are severely injured on patrol one day because of Ellie's carelessness, things between you change.

WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, descriptions of blood/bones breaking, awkward!Ellie, reader described as taller and stronger than Ellie, switch!Ellie (more sub though), dom!reader, fingering, face-sitting (Ellie receiving), spanking, Ellie calls reader "princess"

WORD COUNT: 9.3K

A/N: I always loved this one... I thought it was really cute and Ellie feels very in character for this one.

You hated morning patrols… Well, not so much morning, but the horrendous feeling of being awake before the sun is up. When you agreed to run through Hoback Pass, you were under the stipulation that you’d be riding with Jesse… You know, someone you got along with? Someone who wasn’t so cocky that they may as well have a membership card to the medical tent.

Someone so frustrating that it made your skin crawl just thinking about her… But Jesse had traded shifts with her, and now you had no choice but to put up with the reason you knew how to say fuck you in 3 different languages.

Your hands were tight on the reins of your stallion as you were almost falling asleep in the saddle. It was too warm that morning, and you wanted to go crawl back in bed and forget that this day was even taking place. And yet, fate had other things to say about it, that tricky bitch.

“Would you move your ass already?”

Her voice rang in your ears, forcing you to look up. The way the sun reflected down onto her auburn hair and how it accentuated her muscly biceps in the glow of orange. You may have blushed had you not felt so tired and instead of admiring her hot arms, you were scowling and rolling your eyes so hard that you’re amazed they didn’t get stuck in the back of your head.

“Trust me, Ellie,” You spoke, kicking your horse into a soft trot before yanking on the reins and stopping right next to her and her mare. “I’ll be the happiest I’ve ever been once this shit is all over.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You clicked your tongue against the back of your teeth and groaned. “It means you are driving me fucking crazy.”

“Yeah?” Ellie yanked Shimmer in front of you and your stallion who halted and gave a challenging huff, much like you did. “Then keep up. Sooner we check in, the sooner we’re done.”

Shimmer trotted in front with her rider in tow and you huffed. “Bitch.”

It was always like this with you two. Sometimes when patrol groups were in threes, you and Ellie almost always got put on those, with Joel or Tommy playing mediator so you two wouldn’t just get into an all-out fist fight in the middle of the trail. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes you left with a bruise on your face and her with a split lip.

What was it about Ellie Williams that just… got under your skin? What was it that made you so infuriated whenever she spoke to you? Was it because she had always been rude to you? Maybe it was her inability to accept her mortality with how fucking reckless she always was. Was it her I’m better than you attitude?

Maybe it was something else entirely… Maybe you two were at each other’s throats because the sexual tension between you two was so annoying that Dina and Jesse had a bet going on who was going to kiss who first.

Everybody saw it. Everybody but you two. Ellie thought you were beautiful, assertive, and highly skilled in hand-to-hand combat. But she also said you were a hard-ass, bossy, and over-analyzed every little detail to the point that she would need a fucking magnifying glass to see all the fine print in your plans.

And Ellie? Ellie was a hardcore badass who thought with her fists before using her head, which was strange due to how absolutely brilliant she was. You heard her talks with her friends; she knew so much about science and space and literature… Why was she always so dumb when it came to her safety?

You were thinking very rude and nasty things as you two continued your trek down the trail, stopping every once in a while, to look for supplies inside of old buildings and watching Ellie do some fucking acrobatic shit just to get another one of her useless superhero cards on the third floor of a destroyed building. You were on the ground, checking your rifle for probably the thousandth time that day when the sounds of obvious distress made you look up.

“Shit, MOVE! ” Ellie shouted and watched as you had to roll out of the way to not get hit in the head with a rusted ladder that clattered to the ground aggressively. Your heart pounded in your ears as you looked up at Ellie who was now trapped on the third floor of the used-to-be, building with no way down.

The emotions that went across your face were like whiplash. At first, you looked angry at her complete carelessness, and then you realized she was genuinely stuck up there and you couldn’t stop laughing. In seconds, you were doubling over, your snorts of amusement echoing in the wind as Ellie pouted. She certainly looked cute with her bottom lip sticking out like that.

“How’s the weather up there?” You paced back and forth in front of the building as Ellie huffed, laying down on her stomach and leaning over the edge a little to see just how far down it was. The only thing keeping her up was that floor and a load bearing brick pillar.

“Stop being a dick and help me! ”

You grinned. “Hmm… and why should I do that?”

“You know I’ve got a clean shot, right?” Ellie removed her pistol from the back of her jeans and held it up like it was a threat. “Bet I could hide your body pretty fucking easily.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes before picking the ladder back up, only for it to fall apart in your hands, the rusted pieces scraping against each other and falling into a heap on the ground. The amusement began to leave your face and you realized that this actually was a bad situation that she was in.

“Great, figures,” Ellie rolled onto her back and stared up at the sky. “Everything you touch turns to shit.”

“Oh, the optimism is fuckin’ killing me, El,” You shot back with an equal amount of sass. You didn’t see her blushing from where she was, which she was grateful for in the moment. “Just calm down. I’ll figure something out.”

All you got from her was a thumbs up over the side of the ledge and you sighed with irritation. Why did she have to be so… so fucking infuriating? She was 18 and still acted like a damn child sometimes. You were in your bitter thoughts as you looked around for anything that could be helpful. Another ladder? A rope? Anything that can save her sorry ass from getting stuck up there and starving to death.

“God, it’s fuckin’ hot,” The sun was up now, which meant that Wyoming was being cooked from the rays, and that meant with no shade, you were being blasted from every single angle. You stripped off your lightweight jacket and tied it around your waist. Sweat dripped from your forehead and stained your t-shirt as you dug around under the remains of some of the buildings.

You were focused on saving your partner, but in doing so, you had taken your eyes off her. And while she wasn’t exactly far away, you missed the way she was staring at you in that moment. In Ellie’s mind, all she wanted to do was trace your collarbone with her tongue and feel your hands against her ass… She truly was too gay for her own good.

Ellie scooted closer to the ledge when she saw you disappear behind a broken-down truck, and then she heard a cracking sound. The platform trembled and Ellie began backing away from the ledge as fast as she possibly could with her face going pale and her heart rate shooting sky high.

“Ellie?!” You called out, immediately abandoning what you were looking for and running over to the building. The cement between the bricks on the pillar was beginning to crack, and once that was gone, the building would be coming down in literal seconds. Your partner began panicking, looking down at you as you began to pace like a wild animal ready to attack their prey.

“Do something!” Ellie screamed as the platform shook so hard that she was knocked flat on her ass.

You laughed in the most cynical fashion. “Wh-What the hell do you want me to do?! I can’t stop it from falling down!”

“If I die because of this, I will haunt your ass forever !”

Time was running out and the building was coming down any second. You were out of options and only had one choice. “Jump!”

Ellie looked at you with her eyes wide and her fists clenched. “Are you fucking crazy—”

“ Shut the fuck up, and JUMP!”

The bricks in the middle of the pillar began snapping into pieces and Ellie realized she had no other way out of this situation. She looked down at you as you held your arms out for her. With a final, FUCK IT! Ellie jumped off the platform and into your arms.

You pushed both feet into the ground and bent your knees slightly. Ellie didn’t weigh much, and you were certain you could carry her, so why not this? And that’s exactly what happened. At first, Ellie thought you might let her hit the ground, but you had rushed forward just to make sure she didn’t hit the ground! And yes, she was light, but the momentum of her falling and you not moving had your entire body smacking against the back of the broken-down car.

The window to the passenger side door shattered with the impact of your body and you saw stars for a second with how much it hurt to hit something so hard. But you quickly remembered that you both needed to move. Without so much as a second thought, you ran out of the way of the collapsing building with Ellie still in your arms.

Of course, the fucking building had to fall at an angle. And in the direction that you were running. Your blood was rushing to your ears with adrenaline as you managed to slip on the fucking mud and ended up dropping Ellie into the dirt a few feet away from you.

“Shit, look out!” Ellie grabbed your hand and attempted to pull you away, but she wasn’t fast enough. The building came crashing down. The bulk of it missed you, but one of the wooden planks that was holding the floor together snapped off the remains and went flying in your direction. The plank came in direct contact with your leg and the sickening snapping sound definitely wasn’t from the wood.

You shrieked in agony, immediately crawling away from the rubble as it finally ceased its collapse and you fell to the dirt, whimpering in pain and tears streaking down your face. There was no doubt in your mind that your leg was broken, and you just knew that you were gonna catch so much shit for this. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and all you could think of was how much Ellie was going to hound your ass for not moving fast enough to get out of the way.

You looked up and coughed on the dust that the rubble kicked into the air, stomach twisting at the agony as you crawled away and slammed your fist into the dirt. “Fuck! God fucking damn it…”

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Ellie crouched down and placed both hands on your shoulders, getting your attention. You looked up with tears in your eyes and she brushed the hair out of your face and looked like she wanted to throw up. “Stay here… Stay right here, I’ll get the horses.”

You gave a weak laugh and dropped down into the dirt, giving her a thumbs up. “W... Where would I even go?”

A few seconds went by before Ellie returned with both horses behind her. She stopped right next to you and began to freak out, her hands going all over your back and behind your pack straps where she let out a hiss of pain. You had shards of broken glass embedded in your skin and your shirt was now soaked with blood. “Here, gimme your hand.”

Wordlessly, you slapped your palm into her grasp and braced yourself for her to yank you on your feet, which she did. You tried to keep your foot off the ground, but it was almost impossible.

“Can you get on?” Ellie questioned and you just nodded, grabbing at your horse’s saddle and jumping off the ground on your good leg, swinging the other one over the side of his back and forcing yourself to slide the foot on your broken leg into the stirrup.

Ellie jumped on Shimmer way faster than you could, and you both immediately began to ride back to Jackson, not even bothering with the checkpoint. Someone else would have to come out here to clean up your mess, and it would most likely be Maria and Shawn… As if she didn’t have enough to do already.

When the gates to the town opened up, Ellie was already helping you out of the saddle on your horse, putting one hand on your hip and the other holding your wrist as she slung your arm over her shoulder. The amount of concerned looks you two received made you feel sick. You’d have to tell everybody now that you broke your damn leg because you couldn’t move fast enough.

“Could you all stop fucking looking at us and help?!” Ellie shouted, her anger level rising as everybody was whispering but no one was doing a damn thing to help.

“What happened?!” You looked up and made a face of distress at seeing Joel and Tommy looking down at both of you, your face turning red with embarrassment. You felt so stupid.

Ellie readjusted her hold on your hip. “A building fell down; I think her leg’s broken—”

“Oh no,” You laughed, but there was no humor in your voice. “It’s definitely fucking broken…”

“Alright, c’mon then,” Without even warning you, Joel was bending down and lifting you up off the ground and into his arms, so you didn’t step on your bad leg. It was then that Tommy noticed the glass buried in your back and he immediately started swearing. “Ellie, tell Maria what happened. Gonna get her to the tent.”

As soon as you were out of earshot, Ellie let the biggest gasp escape from her mouth in her entire life. Her hand went to her chest, and she doubled over, almost like she was trying not to throw up after all of that. “I’m sorry… God damn it, I’m so sorry…”

The next few days were pretty much absolute torture for you. After the doctor had realigned your broken bone and placed you in a splint, you had been bedridden for the days to come. The timeframe given was not great… 4 whole months of nothing? 4 whole months of being trapped inside of your home with absolutely nothing for you to do? How in the actual fuck were you going to survive?

With stitches on your back and your leg wrapped around metal rods to keep it straight as it healed, you were pretty much incapacitated for the near future. Even getting yourself out of bed was a nightmare. And taking a shower may as well have been curing fucking cancer. It felt impossible every single time and you had no choice but to tape a plastic bag around the metal rods, so they didn’t rust against your skin.

It was early morning and you had just gotten yourself out of bed, sitting on your reclining chair in your small living room and watching one of your many movies you had retrieved during your patrol missions. Your leg was propped up on the bench in front of you, and you were content to stay like this all day long, unless you had to pee or something.

Of course, you were content… And then someone knocked on your damn door. A sigh left your throat as you paused the movie and pushed yourself off the chair and onto your feet. Maria had given you a set of crutches and that was the only way you would ever possibly get around for the near future. This was quite actually the fucking worst thing ever.

“Hold on,” You said as the person knocked once again. You opened the door, not even bothering to look through the window, and stumbled back a bit on your foot, your cheeks turning a soft pink.

God, Ellie sure looked like a kicked puppy when she stood like that. “Hey…”

“Uhm…” You cleared your throat for a second and stepped back. “Hi. Is there some—”

You paused and looked down, seeing that there were flowers in her hand and a solemn look on her face. Suddenly, you felt like she hadn’t come by to tear you apart for getting yourself hurt. Well, she was here for something, wasn’t she?

“How are you doing?” Ellie held the violet-colored flowers in both hands and looked over your shoulder before looking back down at her hands, almost like she couldn’t look you in the eyes.

You frowned. “I’m fine, Ellie… I just have a break, it’s not the end of the world.”

She nodded, still looking at the ground. “Right… Can I— Can I come in? I have something I need to say.”

What’s stopping you from slamming the door in her face? What’s stopping you from saying no and telling her to fuck off? Well, nothing was stopping you… but you kind of didn’t want to. If anything, you wanted to hear what she had to say… Plus, that fucking puppy-dog look was just melting your heart.

You pushed the door open with the crutch and limped away from the door, allowing Ellie to come inside of your home. She closed the door behind herself, and you hobbled your way into the kitchen where you began pouring a glass of water for her. It was just in your nature to be hospitable, apparently.

“What’s this about, El?” You sat on one of the barstools and slowly looked down at your wrapped leg, trying not to think about how your bone was all sorts of fucked under the bandages. Ellie offered the flowers to you, and for a brief moment, you forgot about your broken leg.

Ellie took notice of how you winced when you sat down, and the stitches on your exposed back. Her heart ached at the sight of them. “Listen… I didn’t mean to… W-What I’m trying to say is… I need to tell you—”

You snorted and she finally looked up to meet your eyes. You noticed her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink. “I’m sorry, okay? It’s my fault you broke your leg… shit, I never meant for this to happen. I wasn’t trying to like, kill you or anything, that was a joke—”

“Ellie,” You reached out and gently grabbed her hand. You saw her whole body tense up as she looked down at you, and you responded with a smile at her confusion. “It’s okay… I’m just happy you’re okay, you know?”

The redhead looked down at her shoes… Those dirty, beat-up converse that you loved to tease her about and how she needed to fucking wear something else every once in a while, or she would be walking with holes in her soles at some point. “Yeah, well… you kind of saved my ass.”

Your own cheeks turned a soft pink as you looked down at the flowers in her hands and slowly reached for them. She offered the velvety flora for you, and you inhaled the scent of them. It reminded you of the smell of rain on a dirt road in the morning… They were definitely beautiful, and you felt something in your chest when you looked up at Ellie who was giving you a slight smile.

“Wasn’t gonna just stand there and do nothing, El,” You placed the flowers down on the counter as carefully as you could and offered her the glass of water. “I didn’t want you getting hurt… And yes, you were the dumbass that went up there in the first place, but I shouldn’t have been laughing about you getting stuck up there.”

“No, no, you were in your right to laugh,” Ellie cleared up. “It was a stupid-ass thing to do.”

“Mmmm, yeah it was,” You chuckled, watching as Ellie took the glass from your hand and looked down inside of it. “It’s not poisoned, dipshit.”

“Just making sure,” She shrugged her shoulders and sipped on the water, making you smile once again… Fuck, this was nice. It was so nice to talk to Ellie and not want to kill her for a few minutes. It was so comforting that she didn’t blame you, and that she was coming to apologize… Like she felt guilty about treating you like dirt for the past 4 years or so…

There was this warm fuzzy feeling in your chest as Ellie sat across from you at the bar and you couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how hard you tried.

It only took 3 months instead of the predicted 4. You did everything the doctor told you to do, and you were cleared for patrols in the morning. You were ecstatic at first, but then you saw the route… You were running with Tommy, and Joel was going with Ellie… But you wanted to go with Ellie; you told Maria you wanted to go with Ellie! Why didn’t she listen?

“Hey Joel,” You pulled the Texan to the side in the paddock and suddenly felt like you were asking his daughter to the fucking prom. “Uh… Is it okay if we switch routes? I-I wanted to go with Ellie.”

“Yeah, uh… about that,” Joel rubbed the back of his neck and looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. What happened? “Ellie doesn’t wanna go with you.”

It was like you had just got hit in the face. Your emotions went all over the place but mostly, you felt betrayal. What happened between you and Ellie recently that made her not want to go on patrol with you? Was it from the shots you two took turns doing last week? Was it when you were staring at her in the pastures yesterday? Maybe it was from the way you held her hand during that scary movie you two watched… What could have been the reason?!

Your hands clenched into fists, and you walked over to the stallion with your name on it, grabbing at his reins and yanking him away. “Thanks anyway, Joel.”

You saddled up next to Tommy, taking the rifle he gave you and checking to see if the chamber was loaded. You glanced down the line of patrollers and saw Ellie sitting next to Joel on her mare, checking her own rifle. When she looked down the line and made eye contact with you, she immediately looked away. What the fuck was her problem?

After being stuck in a house for 3 months straight, you had come to find something out about yourself. You had a very short fuse, and almost no fucking patience. Sitting in this kitchen alone, looking down at the countertop and remembering those flowers Ellie brought you when she first came to see you…

In the last 3 months, you two had gotten close. And it wasn’t the guilt that made her come around. No, she genuinely enjoyed your presence and you felt like her being with you was a breath of fresh air. You saw her a lot, and she would come outside with you when you wanted to walk around and stretch out your good leg.

And suddenly, she was cold to you… Like she couldn’t even stand to fucking look at you again. Your heart sunk down into your stomach and you looked out of your kitchen window. It was already dark outside, and you were desperate for answers on why she treated you like such shit… Why couldn’t Ellie even look at you?

In your state of anger, you grabbed your jacket from the coat rack, slid on your shoes, and you were out the door in seconds. It took a full 8 minutes to walk to Ellie’s little shed home behind Joel’s house. You pushed the back gate open and walked up to her front door, banging on the wooden surface with your whole fist.

“Gimme a damn minute!” Ellie shouted from the other side of the door. Your rage just seemed to rise as you curled your hands into fists and as soon as the door opened, you were putting a hand on her chest and shoving her inside of the house. “Jeez— the fuck is going on?!”

You spun around, slammed the door, and stared her down like she just hit you in the face… which you had half a mind to do to her once again. “What the fuck happened this morning?”

Almost immediately, Ellie flinched at your words and looked down. At least she had the damn decency to look ashamed of herself. Of course, when she said nothing, it didn’t help your anger. You just got even more heated, and you stepped forward. You were a few inches taller than her so you had superiority here… at least in height.

“We have been… we were fine! I thought we were good, Ellie. Why? Why are you back to treating me like this— Are you ashamed to admit to your fuckin’ friends that I’m now your friend too?”

Ellie recoiled as if you had just slapped her. “What? No! No, why would I—”

“Then why is it,” You started, stepping forward and towering over her. Ellie inhaled sharply and stepped back, almost tripping on the stuff all over her floor. “As soon as I’m cleared for patrol, and you’re around your friends again, you start treating me like shit again?”

“I didn’t mean for you to—” Ellie gasped and stumbled until the back of her legs hit the bed and she caught herself before she fell on her ass. “Did Joel not tell you?”

“Oh, he made it pretty fuckin’ clear, Williams,” You snapped, and your face was inches away from hers. It was like all those times before that you two had gotten into fist fights. Only this time… Ellie was actually backing down. She acted like she didn’t want this to happen; she didn’t want to fight you at all. “You better explain yourself. Or I swear, I will walk out of that door, and I will never, ever speak to you again.”

The silence was deafening. For the first time in a long time, Ellie was speechless. Her heart was racing, and she was panting as if she just ran a marathon. You scoffed, your lips twisting into a vicious snarl and your brows pulling down with aggression. “Fine. Fuck you then, Ellie.”

Your hand wrapped around the front handle of the door, and you were about to turn it when you felt a hand close around your wrist. You were mere seconds from punching her in the face, but you sure as shit couldn’t do that after what Ellie just did.

The redhead grabbed your wrist with one hand, shoved you by the chest with the other, and slammed her lips against your own. A loud inhale pulled from you at her sudden assertiveness, slamming your body into the door and digging her nails into the skin of your wrist. Well, this certainly was not what you were expecting, like at all…

Ellie acted desperate as she practically devoured you, her lips moving against your own with a feverish desire that you simply couldn’t wrap your head around in that moment. You were still in shock more than anything, but at least you weren’t mad anymore, right? No, just confused now.

A few seconds passed as Ellie reached up and curled both hands into the front of your shirt, and you put your own hands on her jaw, pulling her away from your lips with a wet SMACK! She felt like heaven on your lips, but you needed answers.

Of course, pushing Ellie off was a lot harder than you originally thought. As soon as you separated her, she would dive back in to steal another kiss and you felt your heart pounding in your chest all over again. Breathing her in with every fiber of your being, you mutter against her mouth, trying to get a word in edgewise but matching her kisses with equal ferocity.

“El…Ellie, W-what is—” You paused and gave her one very long kiss and broke it just to finish your sentence. “What’re you doing?”

“M’sick of it,” She whined, sliding one of her hands into your hair and the other slid down the front of your chest before gripping you by the side and pulling you flush against her torso. A gasp left your throat and Ellie took that opportunity to slide her tongue into your mouth. “So, fucking tired… tired of pretending like I don’t want you.”

The color that rose to your cheeks could be seen from space. You inhaled hard through your nose and wrapped both arms around her, like you might drift away from her if every single inch of your body wasn’t pressed against her own.

“God, El,” You cooed sweetly, enough to pull a whine from her throat as she dug her nails into your shoulders. “Didn’t know you were so hot for me—”

“Don’t fucking make me regret this,” She scowled, looking up at you with that familiar challenging look on her face that you found yourself adoring very quickly when it was under different circumstances. Well, if she wanted a challenge, when did you ever back down from the chance of putting Ms. Williams in her place?

The most mischievous smirk crossed your face, and she had no idea what was in store for her. You reached down and grabbed at her wrists with one hand, lifting them up and spinning so this time, it was her back pressing into the door. You pushed both hands over her head and held them there, keeping her hostage and looking down with the biggest grin possible.

Ellie was completely speechless, and her entire face went red with embarrassment. “W-What the fuck was that?”

You slowly slid your free hand up the length of her side, tugging up her shirt as you moved, nails gently raking across her pretty freckled skin. The way her body shuddered against yours was a sure way to make you groan as you leaned down and pressed your mouth against her neck. You inhaled her beautiful scent and pressed your lips down on her hot skin.

“God, you smell so good, El,” You purred as you kissed from the start of her shoulder up to the base of her jaw. Ellie’s hands flexed inside your own like she wanted to fight back. For a small moment, she managed to pull her hands forward, but you quickly slammed them back. It seemed like you had a lot of pent-up strength and energy to burn off from being bedridden for months.

“W-Wait, wait, wait,” Ellie begged, squirming against the door and making you look up for a second. Her desperate tone was what pulled you away and you slowly released her wrists, taking your hands back away from her body. Her body was trembling, and she looked like a frightened bunny in your presence. You suddenly felt like you went too far.

“Are you okay?” You slowly reached out and felt a slight wave of relief when she didn’t shy away from your touch. Both hands went to her face, and you stroked your thumbs across her jaw.

“Y-Yeah, I’m just…” Ellie breathed, putting a hand over her chest and inhaling through her nose like she couldn’t catch her breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Ellie, it’s okay,” You forced her to look back up in your eyes. Her pupils were dilated, and she looked terrified. “Hey, hey… look at me.”

Every time her eyes would try to look away, you would coax her into looking back up in your eyes, pressing a soft kiss against her nose and trying to calm her down as best you could. All you wanted was for Ellie to calm down… But like everything else that happened between you two, that was proving to be even more of a task than you thought it would.

You only relaxed when her breathing went back to normal. Very slowly, Ellie returned her gaze at you and gave you a haphazard smile. A breath of relief filled the air, and you pressed your forehead against hers. “There you are… if you want to stop, it’s okay—”

“Wait, no, no, no, wait!” Ellie grabbed your shirt and yanked you forward before you could back away. You stumbled on your feet and had to slam your arm into the door above her head, so you didn’t end up slamming directly against her. The noise that she made was enough to send you into fucking cardiac arrest. Her eyes were now focused on your strong arms, and she trailed her gaze up to the length of your neck and to your eyes. “…Fuck.”

Your heart sped up all over again and you looked like you wanted to eat her alive.

“Ellie,” You huffed out her name, and she responded by saying your name almost in a taunting manner. “Listen, we can… we can talk about this, and we can… You know, we don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for, it’s—”

You squeaked embarrassingly loud as she yanked you back down and slammed your lips against her own once again. She reacted to your kiss like it was a breath of air after being underwater. Like it was all she could need to stay calm and collected.

The way she squirmed against you was almost like she wanted more, but you were worried that she just wanted to stop but couldn’t voice it. “It’s okay, baby… I won’t hurt you; I promise—”

“Fuck,” Ellie bit down on your bottom lip and inhaled your entire being with desperate intent. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… I can’t take it anymore.”

You were planning to question what she meant when you felt her grab at your wrist and placed one of your hands around her neck. Almost instantly, you gently grabbed her throat and pushed her back against the door, using your other hand to block her head from smacking into the wood. She groaned as your grip tightened on her neck and it was like she didn’t have a dominant bone in her body.

The way Ellie just fully gave you the reins and relinquished control of herself… it was doing ridiculous things to you. Very slowly, you pulled your hand away from her throat and reached down, grabbing the underside of her thighs and yanking her away from the door.

Despite how obvious it was what you were planning, she still swore with surprise when you picked her up off the ground and wrapped both of her incredibly strong legs around her waist. It was no secret that you were stronger than her, but she was faster than you… It was one of the reasons you two were always at odds. Back when you were younger, Ellie would challenge you all the time. She always won in her mock race, and you always managed to beat her at arm wrestling… It may have been where your feud started.

And now, things were different; so different. Ellie used to hate that you could pick things up so easily and she was beyond jealous that girls fawned over you when they saw you working in the stable and not going on patrol. She thought she was jealous of you… But now she’s seeing that wasn’t the case. No, Ellie wanted you to pick her up and toss her around like she was a fucking bale of hay.

And that’s exactly what you did. You kept both hands on her thighs and took a few steps back before turning on your heel and dropping her down onto the bed underneath you. The sound she made was beyond gorgeous and you felt like you were gonna lose it.

“God, what the fuck are you doing to me?” Ellie whined, arching off the bed as you trailed your lips back down her neck. With one finger, you pulled down the collar of her shirt and without warning, latched your teeth down against her neck. She immediately grabbed your hair with both hands and yanked, hard, making you hiss in pain and pull back away from her skin. “Y-You’re pissin’ me off, you know that?”

All you could do was laugh and immediately pull yourself back. She struggled against you and tried to keep you on top of her, but you simply grabbed her wrists and held them over her head once again, towering over her and gently taking hold of her chin with your free hand. “I can go, y’know… Don’t even have to be here, baby. You’d have to fuck yourself—”

“That’s… Shit, that’s not…” Ellie fumbling on her words was the cutest thing you had ever seen. You smirked, like you always did whenever you won one of her stupid contests and dragged your fingertips across her neck and down over her chest. She looked so angry with you, and yet, she couldn’t stop from giving you the most adorable moan you’ve heard in your life.

Your hand stopped at the hem of her shirt, and you paused. “Can I take this off?”

“I’m gonna be pretty fucking upset if you don’t,” She snapped back, making you shudder with excitement. It was like you couldn’t take her clothes off fast enough. Her shirt was the first to go, and then her jeans followed, along with her sneakers. She yanked on your own shirt desperately, almost tearing the fabric with how aggressive she pulled, and you decided to take pity on her, stripping yourself out of your own clothes and grabbing her hips in order to pull her up higher on the bed so you could fully encompass her body.

You couldn’t help but stare at her, your strong hands grabbing at her leg and lifting her knee up so you could press down between her thighs. Feeling her bare skin against your own was like electricity in your bones and you had to remind yourself to breathe as you kissed all over the expanse of her chest just above her sports bra.

“St-stop fucking teasing me,” Ellie said, almost losing it.

“Ellie,” You broke off from her chest and grabbed at her sports bra before slowly pushing the fabric up around her chest and staring at the soft swell of her breasts. You had to press your thighs together and you were practically drooling over her. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

Her face went even redder at your words, and you immediately bent down, your tongue sliding all over her skin and tracing between her breasts. She threaded her fingers in your hair as you grabbed the soft flesh and squeezed, nails digging into her skin and gently rubbing her nipples with the pads of your thumbs. The way she whined was adorably pathetic and you just wanted to hear even more.

You trailed your lips down her flat abdomen and gently pinched at her nipples, marveling at how her stomach sucked in when she gasped. It was like it was too much for her, and you couldn’t stop yourself from teasing her even more. “Baby… You gonna cum just from me playing with your tits?”

Ellie gasped and slammed her fists into the mattress, sitting up off the bed and looking down at you like she wanted to set you on fire. “I can… almost promise you,” Her voice was breathy and deep, and it made you even wetter. “If you don’t fuck me in the next five minutes, I will hurt you.”

“Promise?” You grinned and slipped your thumb into the elastic of her panties and slowly pulled them down her thighs, tossing the fabric away from you and onto the floor. You had wasted enough time already. And now all you wanted to do was give Ellie exactly what she wanted.

“J-Just… Just fucking fuck me— ohgod! ” Ellie choked on her breath the second she felt your fingers against her slick folds. Her legs opened up for you and she shuddered with each stroke of your fingers along her cunt and creating a map of her with your mind. You didn’t touch any place in particular, and you didn’t let your touch linger; you kept her on edge the entire time.

Every time you pressed your fingertips against her opening, she would bite her lip and grab the sheets with her hands, and then when you pulled away, she would start pouting. You did the exact same thing with her clit, pressing the pads of your index and middle finger on her sensitive bundle of nerves and gave a few little rubs before moving away. It was the most aggressive form of torture she had ever felt in her entire life.

“Stop! Fuck, fuck, stop it!” Ellie yanked your hair until your lips were away from her hip bone and looked down at the many love bites and hickies you left in your wake. She was practically fuming with desperation as she got on her knees and used your hair as leverage to push you down onto the bed as she climbed on top of you. “Fucking pain in the ass.”

“Oh? What’s wrong, sweetheart?” You teased, biting your lip as she pushed your head into the pillows, slowly crawling up and making it so you couldn’t keep teasing her. You shut up pretty fast when she swung her leg over and her pussy was inches away from your face. She was absolutely soaking wet, and it was clear that this was a final ditch effort to force you to fuck her.

“Maybe this way,” Ellie grabbed at the headboard behind you and spread her legs even more until she was centimeters from your mouth. “You’ll finally shut that pretty mouth of yours.”

Ellie didn’t expect the dominance from you as you grabbed her ass with both hands and yanked her down onto your face. With a sharp intake of breath, Ellie whined and began to grind herself against your mouth as you began to lick at her slick cunt. You knew she was strong and in all honesty, could most likely sit on your face for hours without her legs getting tired. And it was why you were confident enough to hardly even hold her in place.

“Fuck,” Ellie pushed her face into the wall and held still as you sucked on her slick folds and slid your tongue up until it was pressing on her clit. She squirmed a little at the pleasure and you immediately grabbed her hips with your strong hands, holding her still and licking at her clit fast enough for her to see stars. “ Fuck ! Oh fuck…”

It was adorable; you were on the bottom but you were still in control of her. There was no autonomy left with her as she moaned and did her best to hide the way her body was reacting to your thick tongue. You were certain that you would leave bruises on her skin as you held her in place and practically destroyed her on your mouth.

And while it was so nice that she was giving you enough room to breathe, a part of you wasn’t having as much as you wanted. You slid your hands up from her hips and grabbed her waist, yanking on her and growling with dominance. Ellie responded with a groan at the vibrations from your noise and looked down to meet your heavy-lidded eyes.

“Shit, I… I don’t want to crush you–”

You moaned against her folds and lifted her up for a second just so you could speak, and she was already upset that you stopped. “If you’re gonna sit on my face… you better fucking sit down. Don’t just hover; sit!”

For a moment, Ellie was reminded of when you yelled at her to jump. She was right about that… So why not this?

You let out a breathy snarl and decided to make the choice for her when you pulled her back down and immediately went back to eating her out. Your tongue lapped at her clit and you kneaded her strong ass with both hands as she leaned back and pushed her hand into your thigh in order to stay sitting upright. Ellie couldn’t keep quiet even if she tried, grinding down against your mouth and rubbing her juices all over your face.

“Yeah, just like that…” Ellie moaned, her head falling back as she held you by the hair and slowly moved her other hand between your legs. It was like you knew because you immediately started spreading your legs and dug your heels into the mattress while she put her entire palm against your clothed pussy. The noise you made just seemed to make her even wetter. “N-Not gonna… let you have all the fun, Jesus christ your mouth feels so good…”

You simply hummed with approval and arched up into her hand as you wrapped your lips around her clit and sucked. She let out a tiny squeal at the sensation and immediately reached inside of your panties, pressing her fingers in between your own slick folds and rubbing at your clit without holding anything back.

You couldn’t say anything; all you could do was moan into Ellie’s cunt as she played with your pussy, your eyes squeezing shut and your mouth collecting all of her wetness as best as you could. The mess you were making was beyond vulgar. Her juices dripped from her cunt and all over your face, creating a huge wet spot on her sheets behind your head. Your drool slicked her up even more and your tongue spread it around, the sounds reverberating off the walls and making her blush with just how loud you were when you feasted on her pussy.

“God, fuck yes,” Ellie cried. “Ugh, you know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you princess?”

The nickname had your eyes rolling and you responded with a soft smack to her ass. Ellie gasped and responded by sliding her hand down and pushing two fingers directly into your tight cunt, making you scream into her pussy. Even when you were eating her out, she had to make everything a fucking competition.

With one final slurping sound, you lifted Ellie off your face and looked up, gently grinding up into her fingers as she slowly pumped them in and out of your wet cavern, soaking your panties and smirking, feeling like she finally got the upper hand. You chuckled and slid your hand from her ass and began to prod her opening with your own fingers.

“Easy baby,” You cooed sweetly between your own whines of pleasure as she gently curled her fingers upward and stroked along your soft inner walls. Her hips were moving on their own, bucking against your hand as you leaned forward, kissing her hip and slowly pushing both fingers inside her slick cunt. “Fuck, slipped right in… Naughty girl–”

“Shut up,” Ellie scowled. “T-trying too hard to… ohhhhfuck…”

With a simple twist of your wrist and your fingers bending inside of her, she finally stopped complaining. Her words died on her tongue as she kept still but pounded at your pussy with her long, strong fingers. “Look at yourself, baby… Oh, you love getting fucked, don’t you?”

Ellie was too far gone to fight back and her hand began faltering on your cunt just trying to hold it together. You were the lucky one to get a front row seat of seeing her pussy spread apart on your digits and you began to push them in and out of her, listening to the slick sounds of her liquids squelching on your hand and how she was practically bouncing on your hand.

“Yeah? Oh, you finally decided to shut the fuck up?” You taunted, and all Ellie could do was cry out. You pumped inside of her a bit faster. “Hmmm, that’s it baby… That’s it, good girl… Fucking love how your pretty pussy stretches on my fingers.”

Ellie slowly released you and in that moment, you took the upper hand once again. In mere seconds, you were shoving Ellie down into the bed, slotting between her legs, and immediately pushing your fingers back inside of her without letting up. You pushed your knees into the mattress next to her, an arm going over her head as you were hovering away from her face. Your lips were so close to her own and she kept trying to meet them for a kiss but all you did was drag the tip of your tongue over her mouth and teased her while fucking her into the mattress.

“Alright, let’s see…” You breathed down and Ellie fisted her hands into the sheets, her moans spurring you forward as you twisted your fingers around inside of her cunt, stroking along her inner walls to see if you could make her go from soft moans to full on screams which you would need to silence anyway with how fucking thin the walls were in her shed.

“Wha– What are you– AH! Fuck! ”

“There it is,” You leaned down and pressed your lips on Ellie’s before you began a brutal pace, pumping your thick fingers into her pussy and hitting her sweet spot with every movement you made. Her screams were muffled by your mouth and you pressed your tongue down against hers, tracing the grooves in her teeth and hissing at her bite down on your bottom lip. “Hmm? That feel good baby?”

Normally Ellie would snap, or she would have some clever retort or insult for you, but not this time. Ellie just groaned and nodded, eyes rolling back in her head and her inner walls clenching down on your fingers. It didn’t matter though, because you didn’t slow your speed. And when you twisted your wrist, Ellie arched off the bed and into your hand.

From how bad she was squirming and wiggling around underneath you, and how her moans were growing in pitch, you could tell she was right on the edge, and you wanted nothing more than to push her over.

“Come on baby,” You got closer and dragged your tongue across her neck and down to her shoulder where you gave a soft little bite into her skin. She squeaked, and it quickly blended into a wanton moan as you slammed your fingers up into her poor stretched out cavern. “Come on, cum for me. I know you want to.”

“Fffffuck…” Ellie purred, biting down on her bottom lip and trying not to scream bloody murder as you slammed down into her. The beautiful way that her body was rolling into yours, and how she was holding you by the arms, so close to crescendo that she wanted to cry. Not to mention the way you were looking at her like she was about to be devoured like a fucking feast.

“Go one, scream for me baby,” You leaned down and kissed over her neck, angling yourself so you could press your thumb against her clit and rub at the sensitive bud while thrusting your thick fingers into her. You ignored the cramp in your wrist and refused to let up. Ellie was so fucking close and you wanted to be the one who brought it out of her. “Scream for me. Let everybody in this fucking town know whose fucking you so good.”

Her hips bucked up into your hand and you half-expected her to actually scream. But no, Ellie had a better idea in mind. Her inner walls squeezed your fingers and her moans grew with pitch before you felt her pulse around the digits, her head going back as she opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out.

You were worried she would actually shriek but Ellie fell forward and bit down on your neck, hissing through the pleasure as you fucked her through the orgasm of her life. Tears began streaking down her face as she whimpered into your flesh and ground her hips down into your touch.

A bruise would almost certainly be left behind on your skin, but you didn’t care. You held her close and gave soft little kisses against your cheek as she had a moment of relief before she felt your fingers still moving and she immediately grabbed for your wrist to make you stop.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck, stop stop stop,” She pleaded, forcing your hand to still as she looked down at you, breathing hard and shaking with aftershocks of euphoria. Very carefully, you pulled your fingers out of her cunt and gave her clit a few more rubs before retracting completely and rubbing at her inner thighs. “Jesus fucking Christ…”

“Mmm, no, that’s not my name baby,” You teased, kissing her jaw and falling down next to her. Ellie scoffed, but was still smiling when she smacked your arm. You giggled and rested your chin on her shoulder, kissing at her sweat covered skin. “Wanna tell me now?”

Ellie huffed and looked over at you while wiping the tears away from her eyes. “T-Tell you what.”

“Why you didn’t want me with you on patrol,” You sat up a little and she blushed at seeing you were still in your underwear compared to her. “I find it hard to believe that this is the reason. Unless you like me that much…” Her silence was not comforting and you continued to jeer her.

“Am I to believe you didn’t want me there because you wanted to fuck me that bad?”

“No, dumbass, that’s not–” Ellie put both hands over her face and she sighed. “I can’t get you hurt again…”

You slowly laid down next to her and took one of her hands away from her face. “I’m the reason you got hurt… It was my fucking fault, and I don’t want it to happen again.”

Almost instantly, you were leaning up and pressing a kiss to her lips all over again. Ellie whined against your mouth and slid her fingers into your hair, gently scratching the base of your scalp and making you groan on her mouth.

When you broke the kiss, you pushed those auburn bangs away from her forehead and stroked down the side of her face, touching her in the most gentle possible way to convey that you could be gentle sometimes and not always be a hard-ass like she said you were.

“Ellie… If it meant that you were safe, I would risk my life ten times over just for you.”

Your words resonated inside of her, shaking her to the core as she blushed and took one of your hands into her grasp and kissed the inside of your wrist. This time, it was your turn to blush as she looked up and gave one final kiss before releasing your hand.

“Don’t die for me, princess.”

“No,” You chuckled. “I’d rather live for you, baby.”

#lgbt #lgbtq #ellie williams #the last of us #tlou #tlou ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #tlou smut #nsft #long reads #personal favorite #sub!ellie #i used to be the queen of sub!ellie #you guys have no idea #im bringing it all back i swear #i write sub!ellie sooooo good

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ryozakidesu · 14 hours ago

Text

The Fine Art of Rejection - h.rj

3/4 diary of the heartbreakers

summary ➸ ♡ Huang Renjun, the sweetie of the year, is one hard star to catch. Not as easy as his other friends, he's quite difficult to have. Although he has a fair share of affairs with girls, it is considered to be a rare occurence. But you? Oh boy were you something. You were quite head over heels over him. His friends could never understand, but you were persistent to get the boy. No matter how much he refuses your advances, Its like you found art in rejection. But to what degree can you hold it out?

"I can be everything I want, but fuck, I only wanted to be yours. Even though you couldn't be mine."

GENRE: Unrequited love, Humour, Fluff, Angst, Smut

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Language, Explicit sexual content, Violence, Alcohol Usage, cheerleader!reader, asshole!renjun

AUTHOR's NOTE: This has gone way too angst-y than I planned but hey, i thrive for angst. Longer than what I expected but it's not gonna be a ryo fic if I stuck with the expected wc lmao. also i cried while writing this fic lol

WC: 19k (told ya)

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

Enjoy reading! -ryo

My dearest Renjun,

I hope you had a wonderful day! I heard you have an exam today. Don’t forget to eat on time, okay? Here’s some brownies, I know you love them xoxo

-y/n

You clicked your pen after writing the letter, spraying a bit of your perfume on the note. You put it nicely on top of the box of brownies before putting it on your bag.

You checked the time, and you nod when it says exactly 7am.

“Seriously, a handwritten letter? You’re crazy,” your roommate, Julie, sassed at your small box of sweets.

You tighten your shoe laces, before turning around to get your bag. You smiled at Julie, “It’s a habit,” You hear her scoff, but before she argues again, you are fast on your feet.

As soon as you entered the school premises, you were greeted by some of the freshmen, waving at you. You of course, waved back and gave them a good morning back. It was nice to greet people, even if you don’t know them. You don’t know when a simple greeting could make someone’s day. It sure makes your day better at least.

You’re supposed to go left at the gym because you have practice at 7:30 sharp and you’ve used up all your chances to be late. However, if you run fast enough, you’re sure you’ll get there in time.

“Hey, y/n! Be careful!” One student says as you run through the hallway. You still manage to respond with a smile.

You look at your watch, and you silently curse. 7:15.

Once you made it at the school garden, you hover your eyes at the entire field and sure enough, you see who you’ve been looking for.

There he was. He sat with his three other friends, which you knew of. Usually, it’s only him and Jeno, but this time, there’s Jaemin and Haechan with him at the picnic table. Haechan slumped in the table, Jaemin mindlessly watching something on his phone and Jeno, along with Renjun, seemingly studying for their upcoming exam.

You put on your best smile, and dust off your cheer uniform.

Once you reach their table, you clear your throat. It was Jaemin who granted you attention first, and as soon as he looked at you, his smile beamed brighter than the sun. He’s good at that, a charmer, really. Too bad it doesn’t affect you in any way.

“Renjun, someone’s here for you,” He says through his smile and nudging Renjun.

You hear the boy grunt, and let out an exasperated sigh. Finally, he turns to you, and even if you swore you had a big smile, seeing him made it even bigger.

“Hi, Renjun! Uh,” you waved at him, and then brought the box of brownies out your bag, glad to see it's still in pristine condition. “--I brought brownies.. For you and your friends,”

That’s when Jeno and Haechan, who suddenly woke up from his sleep, looked up at you.

Renjun rubs his forehead, and sighed again. He puts down his pen that he was holding from earlier. “Y/n, I told you, stop making these for me.”

You gulp in nervousness. “Do.. do you not like them?” you can’t help sound dismayed, with the end of your sentence getting quieter.

“I like brownies. I just don’t like when it comes from you. Don’t you get that?”

Honestly, you were expecting this. Renjun was always harsh, however, you like to think he’s just brutally honest. But you would be lying if you say that it doesn’t sting.

“Oh-kay,” Jaemin joins the conversation, attempting to dilute the tension. Your smile falters for a second but you try your best to smile again. Jaemin continues, “Sorry, birdie, he’s just extra grumpy today ‘cause of the big exam later.. I’ll get that,” he grabs the brownies out of your hold.

You whisper a small thank you to Jaemin. “Renjun, if you change your mind, I guess Jaemin has the brownies..” you still tried to sound cheerful.

Renjun, however, didn’t say anything.

“I’ll shove it down his throat if I have to. Go on now, Birdie, I heard you guys have cheer practice at 7:30.” Jaemin answers for him again, sweet as ever.

That piqued your interest. You raised your brows, “How’d you know?”

“I have a friend in your squad. Now, shoo! Don’t wanna be late! Renjun says fighting!” He grabs Renjun’s hand and waved it forcefully, but Renjun just pulls away from his hold.

“Okay. Uh, bye everybody! Bye, Renjun.” Your eyes glanced at him with hope, but came to no avail when he just continued reading his book. Jeno waved a little bit and Haechan just gave you a fake smile. Haechan, for reasons unbeknownst to you, doesn’t seem to like you either. But you don’t dwell on it too much because frankly, you don’t care.

Jaemin smiles, waving at you. You turn your heels and start to run. You have two minutes to get to the gymnasium. It was worth it tho, you like to start your day seeing him.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

After a few hours of practice, you were dismissed due to the classes you have later on the day.

“Why were you late this morning?” Sunghoon, one of your spotters on the squad, asks as you walk to your class.

You didn’t have a chance to answer, when Minnie spoke. “Duh, she did her daily rejection therapy, of course.”

You shook your head and chuckled at her. “It’s not rejection therapy, Minnie.”

“Oh please, Huang Renjun could literally stomp at your feet and you’ll still show up with freshly baked cookies the next day.” Minnie was annoyed more than anything, but you still smile at her. You know she means well.

You chose not to answer because really, what’s there to say? Minnie might sound mean, but she’s just telling the truth.

Huang Renjun has rejected you more times than you can remember. Honestly, you think you’re immune to it now. Sometimes, you find it really interesting that he just won’t budge, at all. He hates your guts, but as long as he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and he doesn’t verbally say to your face that he hates you, technically, there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing.

Much more women do worse, actually. Renjun’s really popular with women, despite the attitude and sass he possessed. Some girls are intrigued, curious as to how they could get with Renjun. Going further as to literally kneeling in front of him just to sleep with him. Poor Kim Chaeyon.

You’re not at that level of extremities yet, thank god.

Although he was picky, he did kind of have a fair share of girls. Some students call the girls he’s been with the chosen ones, making you laugh. Renjun has a standard, and he likes to abide by it.

Unlike his friends, Renjun can count in his fingers how many girls he was with. And boy, were they special.

Renjun is picky. He’s not someone you can just get together with just because you’re pretty. His standards are sky high, but hey, they don’t call you Birdie for no reason.

“I don’t get why you keep on pursuing Renjun, to be honest. Yeah, I heard he’s hot shit, but come on. You’re Y/n. NCU Cheersquad Captain, Thee Bird, and not to mention, a Mathematics Olympiad runner up. You’re like.. Einstein’s hot little sister.” Minnie didn’t stop, even after class she blabbered about your undying admiration for Renjun, claiming it doesn’t make sense to her.

It doesn’t really matter how many times Minnie likes to remind you that Renjun isn't worth your time, your answer stays the same.

“I just like him. It doesn’t have to make sense to you, Minnie.” You say casually as you bite into your apple.

“Ugh! You’re insufferable,” She says before standing up and stomping her way out. You just laughed at her reaction. Minnie’s easily pissed, and it amuses you.

It’s past five when you finished your day, ready to head back to your apartment. Your routine was consistent, it sometimes just differs depending on your practice and classes. You never really enjoyed going out with your friends, not a party-goer, and most especially, you’re not really amused by other boys, much to your friend’s dismay.

There have been attempts, here and there, of trying to pursue you. You just don’t feel like giving attention to any of them, when you already set your eyes on someone. It feels like a waste of time.

When you enter your dorm, you see Julie, all dressed up and ready to go out. You eye her up and down and give her a smile. “Going on a date?”

“Yeah, uh,” You notice she’s struggling to clasp her bracelet, so you try and help her with it.

“That dress looks cute on you,” you compliment her.

Julie never really dresses up for dates, well, at least you don’t see her getting this dolled up for a date. You have always questioned that, because she’s always out on dates and she looks good in dresses as well. But hey, each to their own.

“Thanks, y/n.” She replies with a forced smile, but you assumed it’s because she’s nervous.

You walk inside further, leaving her in the doorway putting her shoes. “Hey, don’t forget your keys.” You remind her.

“Uhm, I think I won’t need them.” Your smirk got even wider at her response, understanding exactly what she meant.

“You go, girl. Enjoy your date.” You giggled before you entered your room.

You sigh as soon as your back hits the soft mattress, relieved that you’re now in the comfort of your own home. You don’t let your eyes rest for more than three minutes because you have papers to finish tonight and you don’t intend to accidentally pass out earlier than what you’ve planned.

You did your basic night routine, ready to turn on netflix before drowning yourself in papers.

Your last step was to put your phone on Do Not Disturb, but before that, you shoot a text to the one who matters to you the most.

[8:01] to: renjun <3

just got home! i hope u ate some of the brownies from earlier, it’s really good! enjoy your night and see you tomorrow, renjunnie!

xoxo -y/n

[9:05 read]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“Just go talk to him, y/n. Get your mind off that Renjun boy.” You roll your eyes at Minnie who nudges you.

You don’t know why people even attempt to ask you out. You’ve made it clear that you only have eyes for Renjun, and the fact that you never went out with anyone should’ve made it obvious. Do you have to write it across your forehead?

Sungchan’s nice. Really tall, not bad with the eyes either, and from what you’ve heard he’s a real sweetheart. Not a bad bone on his body. A perfect man, maybe, but not for you. Nobody really is for you unless it’s... well, you get it.

“Listen, atleast I tried, right?” He snickers, but you can tell it’s unenthusiastic.

“I’m sorry, Sungchan.”

“Should’ve listened to Jeno,” He whispers, one you can’t make out but you didn’t push. He then bids you goodbye, but before leaving, he asks you if you two could be friends.

“Of course, we can be friends, Sungchan.” You’re glad he offered to be one, at least you don’t turn him down in every possible way. There’s still something there.

He smiles at you again and now fully walks away. You also stood up and turned around, but when you do, you see Renjun, on the sidelines talking to Jeno and Yangyang.

Speak of the Angel.

You widen your eyes in great surprise, smiling ear to ear as you see him, hands folded in his chest. Seeing him instantly brightens your mood— even looking like the most intimidating person ever.

You silently run back, putting an extra hop in every step. You stop where Renjun is, and waved at him.

“Good morning,” you smile at him. You always give your best smile towards him, and not that you put an extra effort to, but he just brings it out of you. A magic pull, in some ways.

He takes a deep breath, “Morning,” he muttered, not even sparing you a glance before going back to whatever they were talking about.

You don’t know why, but you still stood there. You’re waiting for something, but you don’t exactly know what it is. Maybe, it’s just an excuse to look at him longer.

“What time is your lunch? Wanna grab lunch later?” You ask and you hear Jeno snorts on his side..

“I’m in the middle of a conversation, do you mind?” Renjun says, again with his usual cold tone towards you. In some twisted way, it made your chest flutter.

“You’re really cute,” you say, making both Jeno and Yangyang laugh. You don’t know what they find so funny. You’re just telling the truth. Renjun’s cute when he gets grumpy. Tho, sometimes you wish it’s not directly at you.

Renjun closes his eyes in frustration and grunts, you can tell there’s another strong statement that’s boiling in his mind. Before he could though, you heard Minnie’s voice from afar.

“Birdie! Practice back on!”

“Oh, gotta go. Bye Renjun!” You say in your most cheerful voice, throwing him a wink before running back to your squad.

You giggle as you run through the field. You got to talk to Renjun!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Today, you’re opening auditions for the squad, to prepare for the upcoming cheerdance.

Pulling up your phone to track the time, 6:54am.

You carefully place the cupcake on the box, getting rid of your pink mittens and finally, a perfectly tied bow to finish it off.

A glimmer of a smile appears on your face as you admire the box.

Packing it safely, you made your way out of your apartment, looking at your wrist watch, 8:32am.

"Just on time." You whispered to yourself.

"Hi, y/n!" A junior student greeted you as you passed by, which you bowed back. "Hello!"

"Good morning, y/n." You waved back to another student.

Finally, reaching up to the fourth floor, you strutted yourself to the empty hallways until you reached the abandoned elementary library.

"Do Not Entry" It says on the door.

Knocking three times, finally, someone opened.

"Oh, hi, y/n-ie. I'm guessing this is for Renjun?" Jaemin, with his sweet smile, asked as his eyes fixed on the box you were holding.

"Hi, Jaemin. Yeah. Is he here yet?" You tried looking pass Jaemin,into the room, but to no avail, as he was literally blocking everything inside.

"No but I'll make sure he got this, alright?" Jaemin grabbed the lunchbox from you, not missing the opportunity to wink at you.

"Oh. I guess he's late. Okay, Jaemin. Thanks." Disappointed that you didn't get to see your Renjun, you turned around bitterly.

You decided to just get to your first class early. Only a few people was in the room, because its quite early for the class to start. You crossed your arms over the desk and rest your head.

You're sure Renjun's just running late. Biting your lip,

You pulled out your phone, texting Renjun.

[9:01am] to: renjun

hi goodmorning! i brought u a cupcakes today. are u running late? be safe! xoxo -y/n

You didn’t see him the entire day, and even though you tried to focus on other things, your day didn’t seem complete without seeing his face. But you didn’t let it ruin your day, of course. You’re sure tomorrow, you’ll get to see him again.

You hop your way back to your apartment, with your laptop bag on hand. It’s getting chilly, you notice. You thought about what you’ll eat for dinner when you exit the elevator.

You were about to take a step out, when you see someone in front of your apartment, hugging whom you assume is your roommate.

You can’t be mistaken. You’re sure it was Renjun. You can never mistake him for someone else.

Renjun’s hugging Julie, before smiling at her and letting her enter the apartment.

Your lips fall ajar, baffled at what you saw. Your clutch in your bag tightens, and you feel sick. Renjun and Julie? Since when?

You immediately step back into the elevator, pushing the button desperately, just to get it to close. You don’t know if you can look Renjun in the eyes, at least not right now.

When it slowly closes, you still stand there frozen. In a split second, in the tiny gap of the elevator, you see his face. And there, you see the shock on his eyes. But before anything else happens, the elevator closes.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

That night, you slept at Minnie’s apartment. You were lucky that her roommate’s nice enough to let you, although Minnie says that you don’t ever need any permission to sleep over at hers. You smiled at the thought that at least, you have Minnie.

It was rough, to say the least. You weren't a stranger to heartbreak, especially when it comes to Renjun. You’ve literally liked him for so long, and you’ve witnessed him with girls before. This one’s just special because it’s your roommate. It’s Julie, for christ sake.

She witnessed your Renjun shenanigans for months. She would even laugh at you for waking up early just to prepare food for Renjun. God, you sure looked stupid.

Despite Minnie’s disapproval, you still sent a text to Julie, informing her that you wouldn’t be going home tonight. You still apologize for making her wait, if she ever did wait for you. You never received a reply back, but she’s just probably asleep by now.

The next morning was tough. You don’t know if you should still bring snacks to Renjun, maybe you should respect his relationship with Julie. So you didn’t.

You went to the campus half asleep, Minnie offering to buy you a drink from the cafe. You seriously can’t thank her enough.

Sunghoon was the first one to greet you at the gymnasium.

“Hey, captain!” He waves, completely oblivious to your bad mood. However, you still waved back and gave him a smile.

“How many are auditioning?” You ask as you sit in one of the chairs that's laid out.

“Thirty? I don’t know, but I recall seeing your roommate on the list tho? You never told me that your roommate’s interested in Cheerleading?”

You froze. Julie��s auditioning? You might just pull your hair out. You really cannot catch a break, huh?

You scan the paper he held out, and much to your dismay, her name’s listed. Han Julie.

You mentally curse at yourself.

And in some effed’ up timing, you hear a couple of steps coming in the gymnasium. You assumed it was your other teammates, or one of the students that's auditioning, but you were dead wrong.

Sunghoon stood up, looking at your back since you’re seated facing back at the hall.

“Oh? Renjun, Haechan and Jaemin’s here.” He says in a casual tone, you, on the other hand, just wanted the floor to eat you alive. There’s no way this is happening to you right now.

“Can you deal with them for a bit? I have a headache,” You rub your temples to up your acting, Sunghoon obediently nodding and walking towards them.

But before you can even catch a breather, Sunghoon returns.

“They want to talk to the captain, Birdie,” He says carefully, afraid to piss you off. But you can never be pissed off, silly Sunghoon.

You smiled, and stood up. You start walking towards the three men who stands out like a sore thumb, with Haechan’s leather jacket and Jaemin’s baggy ripped jeans. Renjun, still looks like an angel, and in your eyes, he fits wherever he goes.

“Hey, hi. You guys need something?” You ask, in your usual tone. Avoiding looking at Renjun because you know you can’t help but to melt in his stare.

“Hi, birdie. Actually,” Jaemin smiled, grabbing Renjun’s shoulder and pushing him slightly towards you. “--Renjun here, just dragged us here. Apparently, he wants to talk to you!” He wiggles his brows excitedly.

“Oh?” You act surprised, now looking at Renjun because you literally have no choice.

“You want us to give you some space or—” Before Jaemin could even finish, Renjun interrupted him, grabbing at his friend’s forearms, to avoid him leaving.

“No, this’ll be quick,” His tone was cold, nothing new to you.

Haechan, on the other side of him, just looks bored. Honestly, he looks like he just woke up. But when he saw the other cheerleaders walk in, his body jolted. Typical.

“Listen, y/n.. uh,” Renjun clears his throat, “My friend.. Julie is auditioning. I just want to let you know that she’s really good at cheer and I want you to really consider letting her in the team.”

His friend? Oh, you want to throw up. He’s sick. He’s really… ah, he’s really done it now. You didn’t know Renjun could ever ruin your day, but wow.. He just did.

“Wait, what the fuck?” You hear Jaemin curse beside him, Haechan just letting out a laugh. You wanted to burst out in anger and bash his head in concrete, but that’s not very nice.

You decide that you can’t handle this kind of conversation at 9 in the freakin’ morning.

“Renjun, I would love to let her in the team, but she really needs to pass the auditions first. I’m not the only one who decides if a someone gets in. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything, but let out a deep sigh. “Alright, I know she’ll pass the audition. Anyways, we’ll watch…”

You nod, not having the energy to keep up with him. You immediately turn your heels and you walk away. Yeah, this will be a long day.

Surprisingly, there’s a lot of people who showed up for the auditions. Apparently, some had an info that Haechan, Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun are watching, (Jeno showing up half an hour after the other three arrived) and that’s when a wave of students came in.

You didn’t let your sour mood ruin your judgment, so you put on your big girl pants, and watched every audition in full professional mode. You don’t want to sabotage the team, by letting just about anyone join just because you’re not in the mood.

They were good, you have to point out some hopefuls that didn’t fit the criteria, in the nicest way you could. However, Minnie took her role as your ‘anger translator’ seriously.

“Are you sure you know what you were auditioning for?”

“Oh honey, you’re really good! You should really try to be a singer.”

Or sometimes, just cutting off the music mid-performance. Of course, you scolded her for that and let the girl continue, but there’s just no coming back from that.

“Babe, I’m sure you can work on your cartwheels a little bit better. If I’m still here by next year, just call me out and I’ll for sure get you in the team. But for now, you can practice, okay? You can even call me for guidance, okay?” You say softly at Sofia, after her performance. She just nods eagerly, but you can tell she was about to cry.

You really want to go up there and hug her, but you can’t because you’d have to do that with every single one you reject.

This is why you hate auditions.

You were still arranging the papers at your table, anticipating the next person when you heard Minnie curse.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

You whip your head up, seeing Julie walk up on the stage.

As soon as she stood in front, you knew she had knowledge in cheerleading. Her stance says it all.

She started the performance, and even if you want her to be bad, she isn’t. She’s really good, and it annoys you so much. God, why does she have to be good?

The routine she did wasn’t easy either, and she nailed it to the ground. Some of your team was actually impressed, and you can’t lie and say you weren’t. That back handspring was perfect, to say the least.

“You guys know that we judge not only with skills, but with personality and attitude as well, right?” Minnie just sounded eerily like a mean girl, saying it to your team but also loud enough for Julie to hear.

You silently nudged her, earning a whine from Minnie but you looked at Julie instead, giving her a smile.

You don’t know what to say, to be honest. Your cheerleading captain side of you, says that this girl is perfect for the team. But the y/n part of you wants nothing to do with her.

You roam your eyes across the bleachers and like a magnet, your eyes swiftly went to him. Surprisingly, he’s also looking at you. Or at your direction, at least.

His elbows are in his knees, his entire upper body leaning his height on his elbows. He looks to be anticipating your answer, because at the end of the day, what you say goes.

You took one final breath before tapping your pen. You look up at Julie, and finally, giving her a wide smile.

“Welcome to the team.”

A mix of cheers, clapping and a curse from Minnie fills your ears. You look up, back at Renjun, seeing him smiling and clapping his hands as well. You look down, ignoring the ache you’ve got going on in your chest.

You hope you won’t regret this decision. You really hope so.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“That’s fucked up, you know. That’s really fucked up,” Jaemin won’t stop bitching up until they got home to their apartment, and Renjun just wants him to stop.

In his head, there’s nothing wrong with what he did. He tried to help a friend, to get a spot she fully deserved. He just did a favor, but it seems to Jaemin that it means he’s a horrible person.

“She passed the audition, Jaem. I didn’t do anything,” Renjun says, stirring his iced americano in hand.

“Yeah but d’you really need to talk to Birdie about it? Like dude, everybody in this world knows that she’s head over heels for you. Then you get in her face talking trying to get some other chic on her team? That’s messed up!”

“She’s the captain of the cheerleading squad! Who else am I supposed to talk to?” Renjun can’t see where he ‘messed up’.

Sure, he did have a hint that you were affected with his whole situation about Julie, especially when he saw you at the elevator that night. You looked genuinely hurt, but there’s nothing he could do about it.

He told you many times that he wasn’t interested. He doesn’t know what else to do. He can’t just stop seeing other people because of you.

“Man, I say she deserves it.” Haechan joins in the conversation, taking a sip from Renjun’s drink.

Jaemin gives him a disgusted look, “You’re such a hater, Lee Haechan.”

“She deserved to be treated the way Renjun does, especially when she did those things before, right, Renjunnie?” Haechan scoots up into Renjun’s side, leaning his head onto the boy’s shoulder.

“Come on, that was years ago! You can see she clearly regrets it by now,” Jaemin continued to be at your defense, confusing Renjun as to why because he has never seen you two around each other. Jaemin doesn’t know you like he knows you.

“Do you wanna be with her, Jaem?” Jeno joins in and smirks at Jaemin.

“No! Of course not! I won’t do Renjunnie like that!” Jaemin quickly on the defensive state.

“I’m literally right here?” He states, reminding his friends of his presence because they seem to talk about him like he wasn’t in the room.

“What I’m saying is, can’t you just put all those things behind you now? I just feel bad for the girl,”

In Renjun’s head, Jaemin makes a lot of sense. And yeah, Renjun really did tried to forget all of the things that happened in the past.

He tried to leave it all behind and just completely start fresh. Because really, he’s got way better life now. He basically could have the world now if he wanted to.

Wouldn’t it be better if he left all his baggage behind?

Unfortunately, all those are all easier said than done. Considering that everytime he looks at you, he’s just reminded of the fact that you made his life miserable for your own gain.

He relates your smiles to all the tears he had way back when he needed you the most.

For everyone else, you were an angel in disguise. To him, you were the devil he once loved.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

A few years back

Ever since you were ten, you’ve dreamed of being a cheerleader.

The entire saga of Bring It On was your lifeline as a kid, and every part of that movie is engraved in your mind. Every dialogue, every routine and every single pose in that movie is burned in your brain.

Ever since then, you knew you’d be a cheerleader.

Whatever it takes.

It was summer, you remember it vividly, sophomore year when you met Renjun.

Your first meeting didn’t go well, though. You still laugh when you think about it.

It was the first day Renjun moved to your school. The teachers announced a Chinese boy joining the class, and you were excited.

Then here goes a pale and soft looking boy walking into class, with a pair of glasses and a bag that looks heavier than him. You were dumb, of course, assuming that Renjun would only speak strictly Chinese.

So you pulled your phone out, and tried searching Chinese words to impress the boy.

You finally chose one and practiced it over and over, and when you decided you were comfortable enough, you approached him.

“See-sow-jian zai na-lee?”

You tried your best to not sound like an asshole, but you really wanted to strike a conversation with him. He looks at you oddly, blinks a couple of times before he breaks into laughter.

“You’re asking me… where’s the bathroom?”

You were shocked to hear him speak your language fluently. You furrow your brows before smiling at him, as he keeps on laughing. You found it somewhat cute.

And ever since then, you became friends with Renjun.

He was timid, shy and overall an introvert but you liked that about him. You like that he’s not some cringy highschool boy trying to impress you or other girls. He’s just unapologetically him.

“Wait, what homework!?” You panicked as you try to backtrack your classes from yesterday, remembering if you did in fact had homework that you missed out on.

“Geometry, stupid. Here, copy some of mine,” Renjun pulls his notes out, allowing you to completely copy off of him.

You thanked him furiously as you tried to tweak some of the details off his homework, but ended up copying it as it is. Renjun didn’t complain, he finds you cute when you cram.

The class ended and both of you got a perfect score on your homework, and you got Renjun to thank for that.

So the following morning, you begged your mother for a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, and packed it carefully with a ribbon on top. This was the only thing you could think of giving him, as a thank you.

“D’you like choco-chip cookie?” You ask, as if you’re just asking a random question. You see him furrowing his brows at your sudden question, but smiles otherwise.

“Yes. I love home baked ones,” He answers, still smiling at you.

You take that chance to grab the pink container on your bag and give it to him. “Mom baked those,”

He was speechless at first, looking at the cookies, before looking back at you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. “Wow. Thank you, y/n. This is like… the first time I’ve received a gift like this.”

“Well, buckle up dude. There will be a lot coming from now on.”

You and Renjun became inseparable after that day. Having Renjun by your side swiftly became a norm for you, to a point you’re comfortable in saying that Renjun’s your person. It kind of feels that he was always meant to be with you, and you’re meant to be with him.

You never really found the need to find more friends than him, he just filled that need himself.

The first bump in your friendship happened three months after that day.

Renjun quickly became the talk of the school, and the longer he settled in, students started to notice just how good looking he actually is. He barely wears his glasses now, and he styled his hair differently. But Renjun never seems to realize the attention he was getting from it.

You never thought it would affect the friendship you had, when you yourself have been making efforts to make friends other than him. However, your sole reason was to just be familiar with the school, because you’re planning to audition for cheerleading this semester. Renjun was still at the top of your priority, you still think of him as your best friend.

You were waiting at the library for him, this has been your daily routine since you’ve been friends. At first, you thought you were just early, or maybe there has been a change with his schedule so you just thought he’d be late.

But the library alerting you that they’ll close in five minutes snaps you from that thought.

You got hurt, yes, but not too much where you had to ask him to apologize. Naturally, you just gave him the benefit of a doubt and think that he just maybe forgot. He did apologize the morning after, and you just kind of forgave him after that.

However, when it happened for the second time, that’s when you question if he really just forgot or he just never really wanted to hang out with you anymore.

It sucks, sure, and you wish you didn’t attach yourself to him as much as you did, but you were never a confrontational person so again, you just let it happen. This time, you don’t make an effort in hanging out with him, and actually try to avoid him.

On the evil part of your brain, you thought that maybe, you were just a stepping stone for him to climb up the status quo, and now that he was popular, he doesn’t find any real use to be your friend anymore.

You hate to think about that, because the guilt of even thinking bad about someone as nice as Renjun eats you up inside.

You focused on your own, starting to work on your goals solely and completely stopped hanging out with him. It seems like he has found a new friend circle, and you assumed that’s just how it ends.

You sat by yourself in the cafeteria, planning to just ditch lunch for today. You look like a complete loser, and you don’t want to spend more time wallowing in your sorrows alone. Before you could stand up and leave, you saw Renjun walking in, with his friends.

He was drastically different than the first time you saw him, and it feels like he’s not the same person. But when he laughs at something his friend says, his smile stays the same, reminding you that he’s still somewhat your Renjun.

You sigh and look away, and on your second attempt at leaving the area, somebody sat across from you.

“Y/n?” He asks, with his brows lifted as if genuinely curious.

“Yeah?” You kind of recognize him, but nothing really pops up in your head.

“Hi, I’m Kim Sunwoo. I’m part of the Cheerleading squad and our captain told me to speak to you.”

You froze on the spot. That’s where you remember him from!

You’ve been watching the cheerleaders at the sidelines recently, in hopes to get hints and further knowledge about the team. You were fascinated, of course, because you feel like you’ve always belonged in that team.

You loved watching them, it’s almost like you’re almost living the life you’ve dreamed of. It feels like you’re on your own Bring It On movie.

Especially when you watch Uchinaga Eri, more known as Giselle, the flyer and the cheer captain.

She’s really great at what she does, and it motivates you to work even more harder to finally be on the same team as her.

“Y/N, right?” Giselle is now standing in front of you, looking at you like she was judging your form. You felt nervous, of course.

“Y-yeah.”

“You sent that audition tape?” She asks again, now looking at you from head to toe.

“Yes,” You say, although nervous, you managed to stand still. She reminds you of a mean girl, but that’s not always a bad thing. She just reeks of confidence, and you aspire to be that someday.

She smirks, looking back at her co-cheerleaders, and walked backwards, giving you space.

“Okay, then, y/n—” She clears her throat.

“—Front handspring, step out, back handspring, round off back handspring, step out, full twisting layout.”

Your eyes widen at her order, heart stumping off your chest. You’re wearing denim jeans! What the hell were you thinking!

You take a deep breath, before pulling your bag over your shoulder.

This is the moment that could potentially write your future, y/n.

You shake your hands, letting your body loose before walking back to gain your momentum. That routine is a lot, and you’re gonna need a lot of space.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. You’ve practiced this before. You’re just gonna have to put them all together! It’s easy!

Deep breaths.

Okay.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You walk out of the stadium overjoyed, gripping the plastic that was given to you— containing your own cheer uniform. You let yourself shriek quietly in excitement.

You made it to the team. Torrence Shipman would be proud.

Over your small celebration by yourself, you hear somebody call for your name.

“Y/n.”

You whip your head over to where it came from, standing there with a bouquet of tulips in his hand, is a face you’ve missed dearly.

“Renjun,” you softly say, not registering that he’s now walking up to you.

He hands you the flowers, and you accept them despite your state of confusion as to why he’s approaching you now. Yellow tulips.

“Do— uhm, do you need something?” You feel that darn butterflies fluttering in your stomach again, as he stands before you.

“No, no. Uhm, I don’t— ah, shit. Okay,” He inhales, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I haven’t hung out with you recently and If you ever felt that I abandoned you, I’m sorry. I was just really scared—“

“I got in,” you say to him, smiling ear to ear.

“—because I was a cow– what?”

“I got in the cheerleading team!” You yell excitedly, opening your arms to hug him tight. You didn’t care, you’re just so happy right now. What made it better is him, being here.

It takes him a full second to hug you back, burying his face on your neck. “I’m so proud of you.”

And with that, you felt like you won twice today.

You got a spot on the squad, and you got your Renjun back.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Today

It has been a few weeks after the auditions, and it’s safe to say that you’re not feeling well.

Back-to-back exams, training the new members of the squad and working on side projects for school credit has been killing you these days.

Being a Cheer captain is a heavy weight to carry. You need to succeed in both cheerleading and academics, and the responsibilities sometimes get overwhelming. You never once complained tho, because you wanted this. You needed this.

Cheer is the only thing that made your life make sense. And well.. Renjun too, of course. So there will be times like this. But you’ll endure it, as you should.

Not to mention the emotional torture of having to see Renjun and Julie all the time, thanks to Julie inviting him over everytime she’s got a chance.

Just like tonight. You were exhausted from all the school activities and you just want the comfort of your bed. So when you finally enter your apartment, to your dismay, you see Haechan, Jaemin, Renjun and Julie snuggled up in the couch of your apartment, watching some movie you didn’t care to look.

Your body is sore, and so is your brain. If you have a choice, you’d take a vacation to anywhere else than your apartment right now.

And although you already accepted the fact that Renjun and Julie has got something going on between them, it’s still a stab in your chest everytime you see them together.

“Hey, uh, Birdie, I invited them over for a movie night.. I just thought you’d be over at Minnie’s. I’m sure you don’t mind, right?”

You smile at them. “Oh, no. Enjoy your movie. I’m a bit tired so.. I’ll just head in.” You say, not exactly welcoming as you want to be, but you just can’t be energetic as you usually are tonight.

You see Jaemin waving at you, Haechan not acknowledging your presence as always, and Renjun sparing you half a second glance before focusing back on the movie.

You head straight to the kitchen, hoping to see anything that could fill your stomach. You just need to eat and then pass out for the night. You can’t find time to mend your broken heart, when your entire body feels like convulsing the next minute.

“It’s been two weeks since the last brownie. Finally got tired, huh?”

You look back at whoever’s speaking, and to your unpleasant surprise, it’s just Haechan walking over the kitchen.

“I just got busy, Haechan.” You say, managing to smile at him.

“You and your damn cheerful attitude. Still gonna pretend like you’re the perfect little birdie?” Even tho his voice was quiet, his tone still pierced through you.

“I’m not quite sure how I should respond to that,”

“Of course you don’t. You’re always nice. Whoever that bitch that fucked my friend over years ago is long gone, right?” His smirk splattered all over his face makes your eye twitch.

God, you know hate is a strong word to describe an emotion. You’re not one to hate on anybody. But you give yourself a pass, because you just maybe hate Lee Haechan right now.

“Haechan, please. I just want to rest.” You say, closing your eyes frustratedly.

“Sure. And just so you know, he’s very happy with Julie right now. She treats him better than you— fuck it, she cheers better than you too.”

He just had to hit you where it hurts the most, doesn’t he?

You wanted to curse at him, real bad. You wanted to yell, scream at him for pete’s sake. Your chest is heaving with animosity, to the point where you want to cry. But you kept your composure, at least until you weren’t in the safety of your own room.

“I understand Renjun is your friend, and you want to protect him. And I also do understand that you don’t know everything that went down between me and him so I’ll just try and ignore everything you say to me. Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

You left Haechan in the kitchen, the growling of your stomach long forgotten. You don’t think you could still have an appetite after that.

The hunger you feel was overpowered by the tears you want to let out.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You’re awoken by pounding in your head, nose stuffed and difficulty breathing. You were convulsing. You had a hunch that you’re having a fever before you even went to bed— but chose to ignore it and just sleep on it.

Which you know to be a bad decision now that you’re drowning in your own sweat and tears.

You needed something. Advil— whatever the fuck is available to you. You need to get up.

Dragging your feet and standing up from your bed, you immediately feel like you’re going to faint. This might be the worst fever you’ve gotten so far.

You get your phone to call Minnie, she’s only in the next building. You see that it’s not even 3 hours when you went to bed. There’s clattering sounds outside your room and you’re sure they’re still out there.

Minnie didn’t pick up, meaning you’d have to fend for yourself.

You close your eyes in frustration, even your eyelids burns.

Shit, you have practice tomorrow.

You grab your oversized hoodie and ultimately decided to just go out in the kitchen, and find the medicine kit. There’s one out there, you knew it for sure because you were the one who put it there.

You really don’t want to look like a sick girl out there, so you just buried yourself with the hoodie.

You make your way to the kitchen, and to some poop luck, they’re all there in the counter enjoying two pizza boxes. You practically salivate over the sight, but there’s no way you’d ask for some.

They all turn their heads at you, each having an expression you can’t read.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s the only one who sounded concerned. You shake your head and smiled at him.

“I’m good. Just—” cough. “–need to get something.”

You see Renjun looking over at you with his brows furrowed, following your figure as you move around the counter. The medicine cabinet is exactly where he was standing, so you just muttered a weak ‘excuse me’.

“You don’t look good.” He says as soon as you stand next to him. You didn’t respond, but you just rummaged through the cabinet just to find anything.

You were stunned when you felt his hands over at yours, looking up at him with your confused eyes.

“You’re fucking burning up, y/n.”

He pulls your hood down, and then proceeds to put the backside of his hand on your forehead, checking your temperature. You were baffled, at his sudden concern but you don’t dwell on it, you physically think of anything but the raging headache you’re suffering from.

You gently swat his hands away, “I’m really okay… I just– Julie, where’s the Tylenol?”

She looks at you, as if you were interrupting something. “Don’t you keep them in your room? You didn’t have to come out,”

You shake your head and you almost respond, before Renjun cuts you off.

“You should lay down, I’ll call someone,” He says strictly.

“What? Dude, she says she’s fine. She’ll live!” Haechan interjects, but Jaemin hits him on his shoulder.

“She’s literally dying, Haechan. Are you fucking blind?” Jaemin.

Haechan rolls his eyes, whispering something about ‘attention’ and Julie looking at him with a smirk.

You didn’t have the energy to be offended or anything, and you’re almost sure the world’s spinning.

Before you know it, you heard Renjun curse and that’s when your vision turns absolutely pitch black.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“Probably just over fatigue, just a little bit of rest and she should be okay.”

Renjun rubs his temple as he sighed a thank you to Nurse Suh through the phone.

“I told you, she’s just really over dramatic sometimes,” Julie says, in a comforting way, massaging Renjun’s shoulder. He was sitting in a single chair beside the couch, where you were laying on.

He bit his lip, looking over at your figure sleeping soundly. He doesn’t even know why he’s still here, Jaemin and Haechan already left half an hour ago.

“Why’re you even so worried, Renjunnie?” Julie chuckles.

“She literally fainted in front of us. Why aren’t you worried? You’re her roommate,”

Julie looks to the side, straightening up. “Yeah, but we were never close,” Renjun frowned at her response, but still shrugged it off.

Honestly speaking, Renjun really did kind of snapped the moment you fainted. He was scared to death, he knew you weren’t feeling good the moment you entered the kitchen. And when you passed out, he felt the air snatched from his lungs.

He panicked, he admits. And he hates it so much, the way he acted. He wasn’t supposed to care. But what can he do when you literally faint in front of him? Every decent human being would do what he did.

Except maybe the part where he woke up a school nurse in the middle of the night in panic and sat beside you for three hours trying to monitor your temperature waiting for you to wake up.

When your temperature finally seemed to had gone down, that’s when he decided to go home. And on the walk back to his car, he silently drove back to his apartment, simmering on his own thoughts, disappointed in himself.

“I hate her so much.” He says to himself, more so convincing himself. Even his body seemed to detect his lies, every word burns in his tongue.

Among the texts you sent him, he finally texts you first.

[12:37 am] renjun: take a break.

Why can’t he just.. let you be? Why do you affect him this much? Still, after all this time?

He blames you. He blames your consistency. He blames your overconfidence, every time you look at him. He blames you for smiling at him every chance you get. He blames those stupid fucking cookies you give him everyday. He blames your entire personality, making him melt in a puddle every single time. And more importantly, he blames you for acting like you’ve never done anything wrong.

You make him feel like everything that happened in the past was a mere imagination. Like the pain he felt was a pigment of his own mind. Because no normal person would act the way you do if they’re aware of the damage they did to another person.

However, what kills him the most is the way he still wants to hold your stupid hand and kiss you in your stupid lips. He would never admit it, even to the devil himself, that after all that’s said and done, he’d still adore you with your hands around his neck.

“I told her to take a fucking break. What in the hell is she doing?!” He muttered to himself when he saw you doing stretches on the matted floor of the gymnasium. He had gone down there in disguise of visiting Julie, but in reality, he just wanted to check if your stubborn self didn’t listen to him.

“Chill out.” He hears Haechan on his side. Haechan tagged along with him, as always, under the excuse of wanting to see Jeno practice. Who’s he kidding? He’s here to check out the cheerleaders.

Jaemin was on his side too, having no classes to attend and not much better to do, he just went along.

“You’re so sweet, that’s for me?” Julie’s high pitched voice slashed through his ears, and that’s the only reason he even saw her in the first place. He caught himself staring at you and he immediately brought all his attention to Julie.

“Uh, yeah.” He lied, giving Julie the gatorade that was supposed to be for you, but he felt stupid giving it out to you. It’s embarrassing.

He watched at the sidelines, along with his two friends. His eyes were laser focused on you, and when you suddenly slipped during one of your stunts, his whole body flinched like a reflex.

“At least try to not be so obvious, Injunnie.” Jaemin laughed beside him.

“Shut up, dude. I just had a few extra cups of coffee today.” Even he, himself, cringed at his stupid excuse.

“I thought we hate her, dude? Come on, stand the fuck up! She’s playing you dude. I hate girls like that, acting all perfect and cheery when she literally fucked you over before.” Haechan complained, following it with a huff on his side.

“I still don’t like her, at all, okay? I’m here for Julie, and no one else.”

“Sure, Injunnie.” Jaemin folds his arms on his chest, a playful smirk playing on his lips.

“Say it with me, Injun. We hate Birdie!” Haechan says with two clenched fists moving simultaneously up and down.

“You know what, Haechan, with the way you’re bitching all the time, why don’t you wear the cheer uniform and pompoms?” Jaemin snickers, earning a hit from Haechan.

“Fuck you,” Haechan spits.

“Sorry, honey, but I don’t swing that way. And even if I do, you wouldn’t even reach the list.” Jaemin and Haechan continued to bicker, with Renjun in between.

He’s still deep in his own thoughts, remembering that he shouldn’t even look at you right now. He has Julie, and that’s what he should be focusing on. Not you.

But when he invited Julie back to his place, and he found your lingering eyes amidst the crowd, with a hint of pain splattered on your pretty face, he almost wanted to push Julie off of him and run to you.

And at that moment, he curses at himself.

He cares.

He still cares.

He will always care.

And that’s his fucking problem.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“The game’s in two weeks, and you all should’ve nailed the routine by now. What is going on here?”

Coach Evie goes on rampage with the squad, most of the blame pointed at you.

“Y/n, I will only say this once. You’ve been chosen as the captain of this squad for a reason. Don’t make me doubt you.”

This was the first time you felt upset. Not because of the rage that was poured onto you, but because you knew Coach Evie was right. You have not been giving your all these past few days.

There’s something wrong with you. Emotionally and physically.

Ever since the incident that happened last practice, you find it hard to do all the routines because of your left knee. You didn’t want to think about it, hoping it would just go away.

It never did.

Emotionally, you felt horrible as well. Renjun was still with Julie, and from what you can see, they look like they’ll be together for a while. It hurts, yes, but there’s not much you can do about it. It’s never your forte to force yourself onto a man that’s spoken for.

So you decided to take a break. Maybe a few days without practice will do you and the squad good. You focused on your studies, your classes and other stuff.

That’s why you found yourself in the middle of a random basketball player’s party Thursday night. You came with Minnie, and in typical Minnie fashion, she disappeared with a random stranger within twenty minutes into the party.

This wasn’t what’s on your mind at all when you say that you needed a break. But Minnie was persistent, saying everybody has been waiting for you to finally show up with one of these parties. Because again, this wasn’t your scene at all.

She basically guilt tripped you into attending.

“Oh, no, I don’t like alcohol.” You politely refused, for the nth time this night. Even though some were absolutely drunk and stubborn to accept rejection, you still politely responded to every single one of them.

“Shit, Birdie’s here!” You hear someone yell, and it turns out it was Sungchan, standing tall on the other side of the room pointing at where you were.

A small commotion breaks out, some even gasps at seeing you. You didn’t expect it to be this big of a deal, you didn’t know these people at all.

After Sungchan’s announcement of your attendance, people started swarming you. You didn’t want to say it because it sounds so cringe in your head, but you were as if a celebrity attended a random student’s party. It was odd.

“Hi Bird,” You flinched a bit when somebody suddenly pressed on your side, a strong smell of weed filling up your nostrils.

“Uh, hello.” You smile a little, taking a step away from the stranger. He smirks at you, biting his lip as he looks you up and down.

You press your cup of orange juice in your mouth as you look back at him.

“Fancy seeing you here,”

You furrow your eyes trying to remember him. You don’t want to be rude and disrespectful so you did try your best but you just can’t remember.

“I’m Eric, y’know.. basketball team?” He says to spark familiarity in your head and it sure did. That’s where you knew him from!

“Yeah! Yeah that’s right!” You sounded so proud of remembering him now that you‘re sure you looked stupid.

He laughs– a bit too much actually before stepping again in your space. You didn’t know what to do, because you don’t want to confront him causing unnecessary drama. There’s too many people in here and the last thing you want to do is to bring attention to yourself.

You silently prayed that Minnie finishes up quickly. You don’t know how to handle this kind of stuff.

“Wanna go somewhere quiet? Some privacy—”

“Really, dude?”

You prayed up above, but the devil spawned from down below. It was Haechan who showed up.

Eric rolled his eyes and looked at Haechan, muttering ‘whatever’ before leaving.

You finally take a breather, and close your eyes in relief. Even tho you think Haechan is a pain in your butt, his interference just saved you. You have to be grateful with that.

“Thanks.” You say sincerely.

“I didn’t do anything. What, you got tired of chasing Renjun’s tail and now you’re trying other options?” And there he goes again. As soon as you give him the benefit of a doubt, he goes right back in with his horrible remarks.

“I’m tired of this,” You say, wearing down your guard and putting your drink down on the counter.

“Finally! What a fucking relief. We also got tired of your pathetic ass running around my friend—“

“What did Renjun tell you to hate me like this, Haechan?”

He falls silent. Suddenly not knowing what to say, completely perplexed at your sudden change of tone.

“You don’t know what happened, Haechan. And all this time I’m trying to understand all your hatred towards me because I know you’ve been told one side of the story. And I know I was in the wrong—”

“Y/n.”

Your words hang in the air, swiftly looking over your shoulder seeing Renjun standing with his arms crossed along his chest, leaning his body on the counter.

Cheeks flushed, eyes droopy. He’s intoxicated.

“Renjun,” you whisper upon looking at him.

“Haechan, please leave.” Renjun slurred a bit in his words, but strict enough for Haechan to take it seriously.

“But she—“

“Leave.”

Haechan huffs, giving you one last glare before walking away.

You wipe away any tear that might’ve escaped your eyes, before gaining back your composure. You stand there before Renjun, not knowing what to say next. Should you leave? Should you stay?

“Your oven broke or something?”

His question caught you off guard. That’s definitely not what you’re expecting him to say. You’re confused, really, really confused.

“What?” You say almost breathless.

He smirks, letting his head fall backwards, eyes closed as he whispers something to himself, one you can’t quite understand.

“It’s been weeks, no cookies, no brownies or any bullshit you used to give me. What, you give up now, Birdie?”

The way your nickname falls off his lips so smoothly makes your heart thump in excitement. This is the first time he acknowledged you by the way everybody calls you. It sparked a light in your chest that maybe, just maybe, this is a step.

“N-no, I-I’m just.. respecting your relationship with my roommate.” You don’t even know why you had to mention it. You could’ve just lied and told him you were busy, but the atmosphere of being in a party fed your courage to be reckless.

“Relation— bullshit. Me and Julie aren’t together, at least yet.”

There he goes. He brings you up just to tear you down. It’s an endless roller coaster with him, but he would always be a ride you won’t ever regret.

“I thought you don’t like them,”

“I don’t. I like the fact that you’re trying so hard.”

“I don’t understand Renjun. What are you— do you want me to keep running after you?” You state, extremely nervous about what he’d say next. Every breath you take was calculated, every second mattered.

You don’t even know why you’re having this conversation with him when he’s clearly drunk. However, there could be no other opportunity for him to give you attention other than this.

“I don’t want you to do anything. I don’t want you, period. It’s just… why the fuck do you give up on me so easily?” His disencourage tone was evident, a slight hoarse in his throat made it obvious. He’s drunk. He doesn’t mean it.

“You’re with Jul—“

“I’m not— fuck!” He sounds like he’s running out of patience, gripping the edge of the counter as if to hold himself back.

“I’m asking you one more time, Renjun. Do you want me to keep trying? Do you want me to keep chasing you?”

This time, he looks at you with an intense gaze, saying the words that won’t come out of his lips, with a hint of resentment and despair. You know him too well.

You bite your lip as you try to hold back the tears threatening to escape again. “Because I will, Renjun. Just tell me the words.”

If anyone could hear you right now, they’d be horrified at how desperate you sound. You, the cheerleading captain, down so bad for a man to the point of begging to let you chase him desperately. You’re so ridiculous that it’s not even funny anymore.

Not that you would care. When it comes to Renjun, you’d do worse.

“Go home.” He spat, turning around just before your eyes started letting go of the tears you’ve been dangerously holding on to.

A dagger through the heart, but you are to blame. You're willing the blade through your own heart.

And you won’t have it any other way.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Ever since that party, you’ve discovered new courage— much like before.

You went back to baking sweets for Renjun, approaching him any chance you get, and smiling at him at all times. It’s like you were motivated to do things for him again.

Despite the glares Julie consistently gives you, you can’t find it in you to care. Renjun said it himself, they’re not together yet. He was practically saying you’re welcome to do anything you’d like.

Well maybe you assumed that but tomato, tomáto.

“Oh, hi Birdie. Long time no see, huh?” Jaemin’s smile was the first to greet you as you knocked in their hangout place.

“Hi, Jaemin. Renjun there?”

“No, but I’d gladly take that cookie off your hands and give it to him.” He nicely takes the box from you.

“Tell him good morning too.”

Jaemin chuckles and scratches his brow, “Sure thing, sugar.”

You don’t know what he finds funny, because you were serious. But oh well.

You happily walked back to your department, ready to take on one of your classes. A few waves to some students who greets you, stopping for some who attempt a conversation with you.

You remember what Minnie said, you’re always late because you don’t like ignoring people or saying no to a conversation, it doesn't matter who it is.

But you just really don’t like coming across rude. It feels wrong.

You were almost at your class when you stumbled upon Renjun walking in the hallway with his earphones on.

Smiling to yourself, you skip over to his side. All it takes was a soft tap on his shoulder before he takes off his earphones and turns around to look at whoever grabbed his attention.

“Hi, Renjun.” With the sweetest smile you have to offer.

“You need something?” You felt really giddy hearing his usual cold tone, his voice making you flutter.

“I brought you cookies up at your hangout place but you weren’t there. Jaeminnie took it so you can just get it from him. And oh, good morning!”

For a quick second, you see irritation across his eyes. Creasing his brows down at you.

“Since when is he ‘Jaeminnie’?”

Your smile faded, hinting something new at his demeanor. This is new. His tone was something different and the way he looks at you seemed far from what you’re used to.

Is he… no way.

“Since he..” You shook your head, “Nevermind. It’s freshly baked too so it would be good if you eat it as soon as possible. I don’t want you skipping breakfast or any meals—”

“Junnie.”

You snap your head back, only seeing Julie approaching you two. You almost scowl at her presence but you decide it’s not very nice to do. So you just kept the smile you had before and waved at Julie.

“I thought we’ll meet at the cafe?” Renjun asks, the change in the way he talks was prominent.

“I figured we should walk together..” The glance Julie gave you was short lived, obviously trying to question why you’re still here.

And to be honest, you don’t know too. You look pretty stupid standing in a conversation you don’t belong in.

You were about to walk away, when your name got called.

“Y/n!” You turn to see Sungchan, waving at you with a wide smile spread across his face.

“Hey, Sungchan.” You wave back.

He looks at the three of you, but ultimately keeps his focus on you. He seemed to read the room, and when you thought he’d sweep you away, he stood tall.

“Hey, Renjun, Julie. Uh,” he turns to you, “Mr. Hong canceled the class.”

“Oh really? Okay.” You nod, thinking where you should go. You turn to Renjun who’s looking at Sungchan, visibly irritated by the boy’s sudden appearance.

“We should go, Injunnie. The cafe could be crowded by the time we get there.” Julie clings onto his side, tugging him slightly.

“Dream cafe? I heard they’re giving out free croissants! Y/n, we should go with them!” Sungchan, way too enthusiastic as he put his arms around you. You flinch a bit, thinking about Renjun seeing it.

But when you see him and Julie, you opted to just let it be.

“I don’t—“

“Let’s go!” Sungchan pulls you with him, and you hesitantly walk with him. Renjun lets out a scoff, looking to the side before following.

“What are you doing?!” You whisper at Sungchan.

“I’m helping you, silly.” He answers quietly, and you wanted to ask for an explanation on how this is helping you, but you were greeted by a student walking by.

“What’s your order?” A lovely barista greeted Julie.

“Spanish Latte for me, Injunnie?” Iced Jasmine Tea. You silently whisper to yourself.

“Iced Jasmine Tea.” You smirk to your triumph. Little wins matter!

“Psh, simp.” You heard Sungchan on your side, you immediately elbowed him on his side. How the heck did he hear you?

“Shut up.” You growl at him, but quickly smile as you look ahead.

“How about our pastries?” You look to the side and there’s deliciously looking treats displayed. You would order one yourself, but you’d already eaten your own baked cookies.

“Cheesecake for me and.. you, Injunnie?” You note the additional pitch Julie adds in her voice whenever she talks to Renjun. She sounds cute.

“No thanks. I have cookies back at my place.”

You hitch your breath. Is he.. Is he talking about your cookies? The one you baked for him? Widening your eyes, you look at him in disbelief. Did he just acknowledge your cookies? Oh my god!

“Hi Birdie!” Your trance was cut-off by the barista’s enthusiastic approach, even waving excitedly at you.

“Jesus christ, Even outside the campus people know you?!” Sungchan asks in astonishment.

“Of course! I love her, she’s like one of the reasons I’m trying out cheerleading next year. That routine you did last summer was so perfect!” The barista gushed on and on, making your cheeks red.

“I’ll have Iced Americano and she’ll have..” Sungchan looked back at you.

“Caramel Macchiato, please.” You say sweetly, and the barista happily put your order in. You were about to pay cash, but before you could even bring out your wallet, a ping on the cashier.

You look back and see Sungchan smiling like an idiot after tapping his phone.

“I got that.” You complain.

“I got it first tho.” Sungchan smirked. You open your mouth to retort back, however, Renjun starts walking away— probably to one of the tables. You quickly follow pursuit.

“Hmm, so big game next week, huh?” Julie was the first to initiate the conversation.

“Oh, yeah. Uh, heard you guys are performing at the game?” Sungchan looked at you.

“Ye–”

“Of course. We’re already almost finished with the routine. Just kind of sucks that we had to take a break for no reason.” Julie says in the most oblivious way, as if she just said something casual.

You blink thrice, processing her words. Didn’t you need to take a break because she didn’t do her job causing you to have knee problems?

“I’m sorry about that,I just really needed to let my knee relax. But I'm alright now.” You still smiled and took a sip off your coffee.

“You hurt your knee?” Renjun’s sudden concern made the three of you look at him, but he didn’t even flinch. He’s still waiting for your response.

“Yeah uh, it’s just the usual… not that big of a deal.” You say, words stumbling upon your throat. You’re not used to him being like this.

“Didn’t I tell you to take a break?”

“I did…that’s why the practice got held back afew. But I’m fine now!” Your tone was cheerful, hopefully to convince him that you’re really doing okay now. You don’t know where this sudden concern about your well being came from but you’re not complaining either.

However, If looks could kill, Julie might’ve committed murder by now.

“She’s doing fine now… she’s Birdie, after all.” The sarcasm laced in her words are strong.

The tension was too much to handle, so you excused yourself.

As soon as you were in the bathroom, you let out a deep breath. You really don’t know how to handle confrontation. When someone’s being obviously rude towards you, you just fold.

There’s something really wrong with you. You can’t seem to be comfortable with defending yourself, or just straight up calling out people for their rude behavior. You’d rather just sit there and take it. You can’t even curse, for christ sake!

“Y/n.” You look at the mirror, only to see Julie entering the bathroom as well.

She looks upset. Like really, really upset.

“Hey Jul—”

“You know that me and Renjun are a thing, right?” You stop whatever you’re doing, and turn around to really face her. Did she have to lie straight to your face?

“According to him though, there’s nothing going on between you two.”��

“Come on, you’re supposed to be smart. There’s clearly something there.” She rolls her eyes.

“And unless you and him say it verbatim, there’s nothing wrong here.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Are you hearing yourself? You sound ridiculous. What’s not clicking, y/n? Renjun hates you. He finds you annoying. He probably thinks you’re a desperate bi—”

“Julie, get the fuck out of my face. I’m not gonna say it twice,”

She let out a small gasp. You were shocked as well. You can’t believe that just came out of your mouth. You inhale and close your eyes, exhaling when you look at her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But if you could just… just leave, please.”

“You’re gonna regret this, Birdie.” You can see that she meant the threat, and you can’t help but to feel anxious. You were about to question it but she walked out before you could do so.

When you go back to the table, Renjun and Julie are long gone. Apparently, Julie went on about feeling sick, and Renjun had to go with her.

“I really don’t get it, y/n. You really like that man? He’s clearly interested in Julie. And not to mention, he treats you like shit.” Sungchan was perplexed, to say the least.

You just gave him an apologetic smile and continued sipping your coffee. You’re tired of convincing people on why you’re into him.

They don’t need to understand. As long as it makes sense to you and Renjun, that’s enough.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Game night.

NCU vs SHU. Two universities that've been butting heads all year. Jeno leads the NCU neocats, whilst Dino leads the SCU ravens. You’re all in for NCU, of course.

The gymnasium was packed. The first game was on your campus, opening its gates for both universities for tonight’s game.

It’s always exciting, the marching band started playing, indicating that the game is about to start.

“Alright, guys! Warm up!” Coach Evie calls. You quickly sit on the grass, stretching your legs, reaching it with your fingertips.

Everybody else was stretching as well. But you can’t help but feel the daggers that've been throwing at you ever since practice.

Julie has been glaring at you. And you can’t help but feel anxious. You pull Minnie to the side.

“Switch main base with me?” You ask nicely.

“That would ruin the routine, Birdie. Why would you want to switch anyways?” She questions, kind of confused at your sudden request.

“I don’t feel secure with some of my support. It’s only for the toss, Minnie.” You didn’t want to say Julie’s name, careful not to single her out. But you also feel bad pertaining to all your main bases when they didn’t do anything at all.

“Oh, is it that bitch Julie? What happened? You want me to beat the lights out of her? Because I will—”

“You know what, nevermind. I hate that you resort to violence for anything, Minnie. That’s not very nice.”

Maybe you’re just paranoid. Julie won’t intentionally ruin your routine. She won’t.

Minnie kissed her teeth, putting her hands on her hips. “I know that you know switching main bases last minute is a horrible idea. You’re the captain, for christ sake. So that means one thing. Julie said something that would make you want to switch. I will keep an eye on her, don’t worry. If she tries shit, I will fuck her up, okay? Now go, captain. We’re about to start.” Minnie hugged you tight, stepping away after just to fix your bow.

You’re really glad you have Minnie. You wouldn’t know what to do without her.

You glance around the bleachers, finding someone that would definitely soothe your overthinking brain.

And there he was, in the midst of the busy crowd, looking graceful as always as he sat in between Haechan and Jaemin. It’s like seeing him made you calm down. The effect of his presence made you relax.

And as soon as he connects his sight to yours, he sighs. You thought he’d just look away, but he smiled. Mouthing the words, ‘Goodluck, Birdie’

You felt your chest burst, instantly nodding at him. You didn’t even think about it when you whispered the words you have always wanted to say.

‘I love you’

And then he visibly froze. But before he could react, Coach Evie called you.

You didn’t have a choice but to bring your attention back to the squad.

“Birdie, lead the squad. Alright, everybody. Finish the routine safely and perfectly. This is just the beginning. The real competition is the next game, the National Cheerleading Competition executives will be here as judges— they will pick a winner between you and Scarlet Heart. But that doesn’t mean y’all can slack on this one, alright?” Coach Evie really needs to work on her pep talk.

You sigh, shaking your entire body to loosen up. You were about to go into position when you noticed the entire squad looking at you.

“Whatchu wanna say, captain?” Minnie smiles at you, and you realize they’re waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, right, uh–” You clear your throat, “Cheer like it's your last?” You were unsure, and so as everybody, but Minnie, being the ever sweetheart that she is, she clapped and cheered.

As the announcer yelled for the NCU Squad, the familiar feeling rushed through your body. The adrenaline starts to creep in and you get high in the feeling. Everytime you perform, you get the chills that you have always craved. Like this was your calling. Like this has always been what you’re meant to do.

The music started, and you swore you had nothing on your mind. Your body moves on its own and it somehow perfect every single step. It was more of a reflex by this point, every position, every beat tatted in your brain.

But then there comes the part where you get tossed in the air. And although you memorized everything in the back of your head, this particular moment was extremely dangerous. You get tossed almost nine feet up in the air, and everything goes once it’s executed. So it’s natural to get nervous, however something’s not right.

You don’t have time to figure it out, the crowd already hyping you up. They know the climax of the routine, and that’s when the air lifts are performed. And you’re usually the person who gets thrown– so they know when it’s your turn.

“Birdie, Birdie, Birdie!”

You take a deep inhale, before starting to climb up on a couple of bases.You glance at the bleachers, finding your courage from one person but he isn’t where he’s at earlier. You didn’t have time to think about it, and on two counts, the bases started to gain momentum. And just right before you get thrown, you look at a pair of eyes that made your blood run cold.

The rage behind Julie’s eyes was evident. You performed the pose in the air, executed it perfectly, but when you’re about to land, everyone went silent.

Julie stepped back from her spot, causing you to land on your injured knee immediately the pain made you lose your balance.

A sharp, stabbing sensation shot through your leg. A searing pain lanced through your knee, buckling your leg. You hold it in place as you process the entire situation.

Everybody was silent. It felt like a slow motion, most of your squad immediately running to you. You can’t breathe. The initial shock felt like a dagger through the heart. Your jaw slacks, as you look at Julie running away from the field.

Minnie immediately shook you from your trance, and that’s when you looked at her. The pain has gotten worse when you snap back to reality. You felt your entire cheerleading career crumble in your hands. The tears follow through as you look up at Minnie.

“Minnie, I’m done..” You can’t believe it. “Oh my god, I’m done.”

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

A few years back

“Huang Renjun, you’re close with him, right?” Giselle asked.

“Yeah..” You hesitantly say. You saw her look back at Ningning, and they both smirked at each other.

“I was just asking.” Giselle shrugged, and even though you were sure that there’s underlying meaning behind her question.

It has been about three months since you got in the cheerleading squad, and to be honest, it has been underwhelming. Giselle rarely calls for practice, but she’s always in cheer uniform. She also only has very limited rotation between the team, mostly her, Ningning, and Yiren always in the center.

You? You were always at the back. Which you never complained about, because Giselle is the captain for a reason, what she says, goes. And you’re a newbie, there’s no room for complaints, especially from you.

“What happened? Why’d she call you?” Renjun’s soft voice instantly turns your mood up. He waited at the parking lot, leaning on his car as he watched you walk towards him.

As soon as you close the distance he smiles warmly, then proceeds to fix the hair that was all over your face, and tucks into your ear.

“She just asked a question,” You didn’t lie, technically. You just withhold a minor detail.

“Ready for tonight?” He smiles warmly at you. You nod excitingly at him.

Renjun promised to take you out on a ‘friendly’ date tonight. It’s one of his ways to make it up for the time he lost with you. You swear to him that he didn’t need to do all this, but he insisted that you come with this ‘date’ tonight.

You didn’t want to expect anything, but it’s hard not to when you’re literally head over heels with Renjun. A little assuming won’t hurt, sometimes.

“Are you sure I don’t need to change my clothes?” You pat down your pleated skirt, a bit conscious about your outfit. You were only wearing an oversized knitted sweater– and your everyday sneakers for this ‘date’.

Renjun is also rocking a casual outfit, but he still looks dashing. It's honestly not fair.

“No, I promise you, you look good in anything.”

There’s also a change in how Renjun talks to you. He talks to you with a bit of… flirting? You didn’t want to assume anything, again, but being delusional naturally is registered in your system.

You didn’t know where Renjun was taking you, but you didn’t care as long as you’re with him. Nothing could make this man look bad in your books.

When the car stops, your hand moves to the car door, but Renjun held your wrist.

“Come on, you don’t need to open the door for me.” You chuckle a bit, finding his chivalry cute.

“No, we don’t even need to leave the car.” You furrow your brows at him. As you turn your eyes on the front, you get suddenly blinded by a cinema sized LED screen.

You hitch your breath as the familiar movie starts.

“Bring It On!” You squeal, fascinated and somewhat perplexed as to how Renjun got this drive in cinema play a movie from the 2000s.

You turn to him with, corners of your mouth going up. He smiled back, reached at the backseat— and suddenly, a bouquet of yellow tulips separated your eyes from him.

You can’t help but blink rapidly, trying to make sense of it all. Is this an actual date? Not a friendly one? Whatever is going on right now, one thing’s for sure, you’re loving every second of it.

The movie started, and it feels like you’re straight out of a novel. However, as you try to relax, your fingers brush against his, and you swear you felt a slight spark.

At this very moment, the movie is long forgotten. All your undivided attention is on the way your skin feels hot, and your focus is on how to initiate more contact with Renjun.

“Want something to eat?” He asks softly, glancing at you with the sweetest eyes you could ever imagine.

“Not exactly that,” you let out an awkward chuckle and shifted in your seat.

“What’s the problem?” God, he’s so oblivious, you just want to jump his bones right now. You shake your head off with the dirty thoughts.

“Why– why’re we doing this? Why are you doing this, Renjun?” You gather courage to actually address the elephant in the room.

His jaw slacks but he swiftly kept his composure. “I thought you’d want to finish the movie first—”

“I’ve watched that movie 54 times. I could probably cite the next dialogue without thinking. So what is it, Renjunnie?”

He gulps one time, before he starts fidgeting with his hands. “I love you, y/n. I have loved you for a long time now and I was a coward because I had thought that a loser like me didn’t have the right to want you. So I gained my confidence, tried befriending other people to gain popularit–” Before he could even finish, you threw the bouquet on the back seat of his car and grabbed his collar. Next thing you know is you’re already making out with him on the passenger seat and you did not care about anything else.

You pulled away, breathless, “I love you too, Renjun.”

You could not take your hands off of each other as soon as you entered his apartment. He shared it with a guy named Donghyuck, but he was out tonight, which you thanked the heavens for.

“Y/n,” He whispers your name every chance he gets, which is not much since your lips are connected at every moment ever since you stepped foot in this apartment.

You didn’t want to rush things with him, but you just felt like this was the right moment. This was the perfect timing. He’s the right person to do this with.

He kissed you hard, but softly at the same time. It was like you were drowning, but you didn’t mind it.

“Shit,” curses sounded heavenly when it came from his mouth, turning you on even more.

You didn’t even realize you were already in the confinement of his bedroom, until the back of your knees hit the edge of his bed. You let your balance loose, allowing yourself to lay back on the mattress.

He looked at you in a way that made your spine shiver, your entire body burning with desire.

“Are you sure about this?” He carefully asks as he lowers himself to tower over you. You look at him with the same passion and nod your head. “I’m always sure about you.” You take his lips once more.

You can tell he was hesitant to touch places you wanted his hands on. So you take the lead, grabbing his nervous hands and placing it on your breast. “Please touch me,”

His jaw slackens, a new sensation traveling down his body. “I’-I’m sorry, I haven’t done this before.” He stuttered, but you just bit your lip.

“I haven’t either. We’ll be each other’s first,” You smile reassuringly at him, caressing his cheek as he looks at you warily.

He started to massage your breast, whilst his lips traveled down your neck. You can feel your stomach flutter at the feeling, never expecting such a move would make you go crazy. He then looks at you again, holding the hem of your shirt, almost as if asking permission. You gazed over at him with lust that you knew he got the message.

He lifted it up, and in every skin that gets exposed, he blessed it with his lips. The wetness of it makes your breath hitch. “Renjun, please.”

He pulled your sweater up until you’re now only left with your bra. He slowly reaches at your back, which you helped by arching, and with a snap, your bra falls undone.

The cold breeze around your nipples did not last long because as soon as his eyes fell down, his lips attached to one of the peaks. You shudder, gripping his hair, gently pulling it. You’re a moaning mess.

“Touch me more,” You managed to blurt out. He seemed to understand, with the way his hands traveled down your skirt. Still making out with your exposed breast, paying attention one after another, he started playing with your panties.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already.” He felt the dampness over the cloth, directing his middle finger on the slit. You gasp in pleasure, flinching every time he explored further.

“Jun,” You whine when he starts pulling down your skirt, along with your panties. His jaw opens slowly as he looks at you with hunger behind his eyes, but the softness of adoration still present at his expression. You clench at the sudden coldness but he didn’t allow you to suffer any further as he moved fast and removed his own clothing.

“Shit, baby you’re fucking gorgeous.”

He parted your thighs and squished himself in between, his member hitting your core ever so slightly. But the thought of it drives you nuts, and it takes all of you to not do anything about it. He went back to making out with you as his hands do wonders.

“Uh, my gosh.” You inhale once his fingers start rubbing your pussy, trying to steady your hands on his body. He pulls away just to watch you fall apart in his hands.

He bites his lip as his fingers started moving down, where your hole is. “I’m.. I’m gonna finger you first, okay?” He asks ever so carefully, and it’s obvious that he’s also as nervous as you are.

“Okay, baby. I trust you.”

And just then, he applied pressure and eventually entered you, making you flinch a bit. He moans with you, a foreign feeling enveloping at his fingertips. This is the first time he had ever touched somebody, and he can already tell that you’re the best.

“R-Renjun.” You whine as he starts moving in and out. ]

“Fuck, fuck you’re dripping, oh-” He takes a glance at your wet core, where his middle finger disappears. He pushed another finger in and you swore you almost felt like you’re coming.

You see his other hand leave your breast, moving it down his own body and you just knew what he was going to do. You swiftly take his hand away and replace it with yours. You knew enough from videos, ones that were shown to you by your former friends.

He muttered out a deep groan once you made contact with his cock, immediately moving your hands in the same rhythm he does with his own fingers.

You never knew it would feel this good. The look in his face, the way his mouth slackens and the way he falls vulnerable on your touch felt dangerously addicting.

There was a strange feeling on your stomach, like a thread that’s waiting to snap. Like you were about to explode. “Renj– oh, I’m.. I think I’m coming,”

You cry at the feeling, making him work even harder. He licks his lips as he went faster, and you can just feel your body shake. Your hands can no longer move, and in the next moment, you felt euphoria. You were shaking, grabbing at his wrist, trapping it in between as you rode the wave of pleasure.

“That was so fucking hot, baby.. God I can just cum right here.” He says, now trying to calm you down. He placed a kiss on your forehead and whispered ‘good job’. Your eyes are still closed when he positioned himself on top of you, the tip of his cock aligning in your entrance.

“You ready?” He asks, moving his tip up and down your slit. You nod, even when tired, you’re still filled with eagerness.

“I need to feel you now,” You say. He gave you a peck on your lips and just when you know it, he started to stretch you out.

And it hurts. It hurts so bad, but it's so good.

“It hurts,” You just couldn’t believe how painful it was. Yes, you knew it would sting a bit, but not like this. You almost wanted to stop right there but when you felt him shiver, and hear him moan, everything washed off.

“I’-I’m sorry baby, fuck you’re gonna make me cum.” He says, whining even louder than you. He cages your head with both his forearms, making you look up at him, and him only.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He says, tears on the edge of his eyes.

“I love you so much,” You whisper. Swiftly, by looking at his eyes, the pain subsided. “You can move now, baby.”

He nods and in every thrust he makes, the pain slowly turns to pleasure. Like magic, it dissipates into thin air, only replaced with the pure euphoric feeling.

Your tears were one of those tears that came from pleasure, and that pleasure not only derives from him fucking you, but also from the fact that it’s him you’re doing this with. The boy you love the most.

“I can’t, baby. I can’t last, you feel too fucking good.” He whined in your ear, embracing you so tight that you might’ve broken a rib, not that you’d care.

You hugged him back, “It’s okay, baby. Let go.”

“Ah, ah— shit, I love you. I love you, y/n. Please tell me you— fuck —love me too.”

You were there with him, both your climax approaching fast, even faster when he called your name. “I love you so much, my baby, my Huang Renjun.”

You both came, looking at each others eyes. He dived down to kiss you torridly, caressing your hair.

And with that intense state of pleasure and love, you hold him like you’ve never before.

Everything was perfectly in place for you, and you’ve never been happier.

You’re achieving your dream of becoming a cheerleader, and your dream of being with your first love, Huang Renjun. It all seemed dandy, until Giselle asked you to stay behind practice.

“You know Theo? The main base? Yeah, he likes you, y/n.” At the end of the practice, Giselle and Ningning basically cornered you. You had no idea about what they were talking about— one thing’s for sure, you’re not interested.

“I don’t like him like that.. and besides, I have a—”

“And our Ningning here likes Renjun. So I suggest giving her a chance, yeah?” Giselle crossed her arms across her chest, lifting her brows.

You were puzzled. You and Renjun just officiated your relationship last night, how can they ask you this? Your breathing quickens.

“I-I— Giselle, what are you saying? He’s my boyfriend,” Your voice started to shake.

“Don’t piss me o—” Ningning rolled her eyes at you and even attempted to lunge at you, making you flinch but Giselle blocked her.

“Nings,” Giselle reprimanded before staring back at you again.

“You know that cheerleading is all about sisterhood, right, y/n?” Her voice was ice cold, her eyes making you shiver. The Giselle you idolized was long gone, only replaced by this cold hearted person.

“I—”

“But it’s fine. However, you can’t just turn down Theo like that, right? He’s been talking about you nonstop, and to be honest, I like him as my brother. So, be kind and meet him at the back of the gym tonight. You can do that, right?” Her attitude screamed authoritative, but also soft, as if to trick you into manipulation. She didn’t let her smile fade while waiting for your answer.

You shake your head, “I will talk to him when I want to, Giselle. But I don’t think its a good idea—”

“Do you think it’s a good idea to go against the cheer captain? You'll see him after this. And you better not tell Renjun. Or else, I’ll kick you out of the team.”

You were in a state of shock. You feel highly strung, why is she being like this? Threatening to kick you out because you refuse to obey her nonsense order?

You couldn’t say anything when they left. You were conflicted on so many levels.

When you become Captain, you will never be like her. You’ll be better, in every conceivable way.

But now that you’re still starting, you can’t do much. So you followed her. Convincing yourself that nothing worse will happen. You'll just have to talk with Theo, that’s it.

[6:34pm] injunnie <3: baby are u done? meet me @ the parking lot

Your fingers shake, typing out a lie. You cannot fathom lying to him, but still, you did.

[6:35pm] you: hi babyy <3 uhm, not yet. i need to practice a few stunts :(( i’ll just text u, ok?

[6:35pm] injunnie <3: ok baby. see u later! love u :*

You brush your hand across your hair. Not even a day in your relationship, and you’re already lying to him about meeting a guy. You felt horrible.

Yet, here you are, standing a few feet away from Theo.

“Hi, y/n.” He was smiling at you, but you felt uncomfortable. He started walking towards you rather aggressively, to the point that your legs started to step away backwards.

There was a measure of anxiety spread all over your face, however, you still managed to talk.

“Giselle told me–”

“She’s right, y/n. I asked her to help me. And I’m glad you decided to talk about this–”

Your brows knitted together, but you thought that maybe he had a wrong impression about you coming here to talk to him. “Actually, Theo, I have a boyfriend.”

He froze, smile fading, his expression accenting his confusion. You almost felt bad, but in a swift moment, his lips stretched into a smirk and leaned his head to the right. “Well, you could just give me a lil’ kiss then, right?”

Your lips ajar, brows furrowed as you try and process what you’ve just heard. Deeply offended, you attempt to call him out on his brazen request, but he continues.

“Giselle would be so mad to hear that you can’t even give me a single kiss, y/n. She loves me, and if I told her how selfish you are, she’d have no problem banning you from cheerleading up until college. She has connections, y/n.”

All other words suddenly fled your mind. Theo’s basically blackmailing you into cheating. Your nose wrinkled in disgust upon his words, but you can’t seem to say anything. Heart beats intensely as you weigh the choice you need to make in this situation.

“Giselle won’t–”

“Oh she will. You’re outshining her in the squad and she’d be more than happy to make up a reason to ban you. Come on, y/n. Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know.”

You’d be forbidden to join up until college. You wouldn’t be able to cheer ever again.

He takes a step forward, this time, rooted in your place, you feel your stomach twist. Your eyes burned in tears. Theo’s touch burned, and you gulped as his palm laid on your cheek.

You couldn’t move. Your skin tingles, heart rapidly beating within your chest as your breathing grows tighter.

He doesn’t have to know. Renjun wouldn’t know.

At the moment his lips touched yours, you knew you made a mistake. You felt disgusted, you can’t find it in you to respond.

“Kiss me fucking properly.” He growls. You clench your fist, and tighten your eyes as you kiss him back despite the tremble of your lips due, a wave of revulsion swept through your entire body.

You’re cheating on Renjun for your dream of being a cheerleader.

Then there was a terrifying moment when you feel someone else being present in this vile affair that you’re forced to partake in. You open your tear filled eyes and right there and then, your whole world shatters.

There he was, the love of your life, standing a few feet away. Behind him was Ningning, sporting a smirk as if she’d won. Your mind tells you to step away, run to Renjun, and beg for forgiveness. But your fear overshadowed you, staying right where you were, slowly digging your own grave.

His eyes were poisonous to even look upon, so much hatred tainted in his mind. You knew he’d hate you, no, he’d despise you. And nothing breaks your heart even more than seeing him walk away.

You immediately pushed Theo, and landed a sharp slap across his face. Tears surged in uncontrollably as you slowly realize that you’d already lost the only person you loved.

Whatever it takes, huh?

You see Theo leave, and when it’s just you and the overflowing guilt alone, that’s when your legs give out. You sat there, clutching your hand on your chest as you cried, desperately wiping your lips until they hurt.

In the quiet moments that followed, the only sound was the echoing resonance of guilt, regret, and shame.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“Ruptured patellar tendon on your knee, Ms. Y/N. Unfortunately you’ll have to undergo physical therapy, and most likely, you'll never be able to perform in cheerleading indefinitely.”

You felt like a bucket of ice cold water was just poured all over you. You stared at nothingness, hoping all of this was just a dream.

Why should this even happen to you? Is it karma? If it is, isn’t this too much of a punishment?

You cried and cried until your eyes dried up, having to accept the fact that at the age of 22, your dream was snatched away from you.

Was it cruel? Yes, absolutely. Did you deserve it? Arguable.

Cheerleading was the only thing you know, and now it’s off the table. It was as though a veil of sadness had been draped over your eyes, distorting your perception of the world and casting everything in shades of gray. What are you supposed to do now?

A swarm of support follows you on the third day of your hospitalization, and you swear you’re grateful for all of them, however, you can’t seem to find gratitude for any of them.

Most of the cards called you Birdie, and how are you supposed to live up to the name if your wings were broken off? You’re no longer Birdie, and the only remaining sentiment that name carries is sadness and disappointment.

“I beat her up, you know?” Minnie says one time she visited you.

You look at her in shock. A laugh traveled through her, “Not ‘beat’, actually. I just landed a few on her face. Nobody in the squad snitched, because they knew she deserved it. Her boyfriend seemed mad about it tho,”

For the first time in a while, you thought about Renjun. Your mind was in a different space the entire time that you forgot about him. He wasn’t there when the incident occured and it would be possible if he didn’t know what happened.

“Does he know?” Your voice was scratched, and a glint of hope laced in your tone.

“I don’t think he knew of the severity of the injury, and I’m sure that bitch already switched up the story. He’s a dumbass.”

“He wasn’t there, he didn’t see what happened. I’m sure he’s–”

Minnie snapped, raising her voice. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Birdie. Stop defending him! You should get your mind off of him. It’s pissing me off that despite what happened, you still find a way to give people the benefit of a doubt. And I bet you don’t even blame Julie, you’d rather blame yourself,” She’s right. Not that you’re not mad about what Julie did, but you’re more so empty. You don’t know what to feel, and even debated if you deserved it or not.

You sink more on your seat in shame. “Please, learn to be mad. Learn to be angry, and hold people into accountability. Not everyone deserves a second chance.”

That made you think, not only about this entire ordeal, but also the past. Not everyone deserves a second chance.

Does that mean you too? With what you did with Renjun? Did you not deserve a second chance?

Maybe you’re too nice because you’re overcompensating for what you did to get what you had. And now you’ve had your time, it was cruelly snatched from you.

Maybe that dream wasn’t yours to begin with.

And maybe, Renjun wasn’t meant to be yours, too.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Renjun felt uneasy. There’s something weird about the atmosphere that night of the game.

Before your performance that night, he had to take a call from his mom, asking him to come home for a favor. He was conflicted, because although he masked it greatly, he did liked watching you perform.

However, he thought that you still had a final performance in the next game, which was twice as important than that night so he just opted to leave before the game.

The next morning, he was overwhelmed by Julie’s tears.

“M-Minnie, that fucking bitch beat me up!” She screams, pointing at the slight bruising at her temple.

He heard about the incident last game, and it killed him to get the news that you were injured, again. The last time that happened, he almost wanted to take you home and take care of you properly. Yet, something in him always reminds him that you chose this career.

You chose this over him.

But Renjun wouldn’t lie if he said that he didn’t feel bad about Julie right now. From what he has heard, the entire thing was an accident. Julie did not deserve to be hurt physically, at least that’s what he thought at first.

Julie had become a close friend of his, quickly forming a bond with shared interest in some things. Julie’s really pretty as well, and even though Renjun doesn’t care about that stuff, he’s sure as hell won’t deny the truth.

He tried, he really did. Julie was a perfect partner, and she seemed sweet and kind, one of the qualities Renjun liked about her. So, yes. Maybe he did plan to be with her, at least sleep with her.

But when he saw your pain stricken face in that elevator, he was suddenly unsure.

“Why did you have to put your hands on her?” He asks Minnie calmly. He had no intention confronting her, he just wanted to know the reason and she happened to walk past him.

She stared back at him with a cold grin, “That bitch deserved more.”

For some odd reason, Renjun didn’t say anything after that. Rather, he’d questioned why Minnie did it to that extent, why is she so angry that she’d resort to violence.

It wasn’t until the day before your big performance that Renjun started to worry. It has been more than a week and he still hasn’t seen you.

He snuck out from classes just to peek at the cheerleading practice and you weren’t there. Not in your usual classes, hallways or cafeteria where he’s usually seen you.

Out of sheer desperation, he asked Julie.

“What happened at the last game?”

He saw a glimpse of fear run through her eyes when it widened upon hearing his question.

“I told you, It was an accident.” Julie’s tone was defensive.

There’s a voice inside Renjun’s head, saying to not trust her.

For the reason being that you’d never not show up in your classes, even with simple injury. Sure, you’d skip practice for a few days but you’d be back on your feet the next day. Especially with an event like this.

His worry grew, now stressing on why you’re still not around. It’s the final game, and you should be here, if not to cheer, but atleast watch your squad. You’d always done that. So why are you still not around?

He curses at himself for caring about you this much. He felt like he betrayed himself, his own morals and beliefs because he should not care about you anymore. Afterall, you cheated on him. No matter how nice you are, no matter how much you claim that you’ve changed. There’s no way he could just forget the pain he went through.

So why is he standing outside the field, waiting on any of your friends to show up and ask them where you’ve been?

“Where’s your captain?” He asks the first person he saw wearing the squad uniform.

“Oh, she’s almost here, wait, there she is!” Sunghoon says pointing at the back.

A wave of relief washed over Renjun. Shit, you’re okay. You’re here.

But when he turns around, he sees Minnie. He furrows his brow, quite perplexed as to why he’s pointing at Minnie when he knows damn well she’s not the captain of cheerleading.

“If you’re here to ask where’s Julie, I kicked that bitch out. Sorry,” She sneered at him.

He almost yells that he’s not here for Julie. He couldn't care less about her. He’s here for you.

“You’re.. You’re not the captain. Where’s y/n?”

Minnie’s smirk faded, as if his question shifted the mood. “You really don’t know, huh?”

He felt the first thump in his chest. “What?”

“Better ask her yourself.”

With that, she left Renjun hanging. He couldn’t try and stop Minnie, asking her for any explanation because he felt like he was going to explode.

His lips fell ajar, as everything clicked.

You had an injury, and right after that you didn’t go to any of your practice, then Julie got kicked out and now Minnie’s replaced you as the captain.

He covers his mouth in realization, adding another layer of fear. He needs to find you.

Fortunately, Renjun doesn’t need to walk far. He had heard that you’re in the premises to watch the game, and the first place he had thought of was the gymnasium.

He finds you, sitting alone on the bleachers with a pair of pompoms on your side. You weren’t wearing your uniform.

“Y/n,” He whispers, yet the resonance of his voice echoes. He approaches you carefully, assessing the entire situation. He wants to be there for you, but he doesn’t want to force you if you want to be alone.

You look up at him, and when his eyes meet yours, he can just hear his heart break. You looked defeated. You look tired.

“Why aren’t you in uniform, Birdie?” He asks softly. Deep inside Renjun, he knew why. But he can’t accept it. Not when this is your life. Not when he knows it’ll break you to give up.

You slowly shake your head helplessly at him, on the verge of despair. Gripping both your hands on your knees, like you’re holding yourself together.

“The game’s about to start–”

“I can’t, Renjun, I can’t dance anymore.” He takes a huge breath after hearing your voice break, and he takes two huge steps to reach you. He kneels before you, grabbing your cold hands.

“There has got to be another way, baby. We’ll get you the best doctor out th–”

“I’m done with cheerleading, Renjun. I.. I can’t even fucking walk properly!” You broke down in front of him, and he swore he’d never felt so horrible in his life. His own tears betrayed him, but he doesn't care. When you, his entire world, is falling apart in his hands.

He pulls you in a tight embrace, letting you wet his shirt completely. Caressing your hair as he attempts to calm you, but in his mind, he’s also hanging by a thread– seeing you like this, completely giving up, breaks him to his core.

“What do I do now, Renjun? What–” you sobbed in between your words, and he bit his lip hearing you like this. It hurts him so much to see you like this. He closes his eyes, gently trying to soothe your shaking shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, my baby.” He whispers, kissing the top of your head repeatedly.

At this moment, Renjun swears in his grave, that he will never forgive whoever did this to you.

And if your sweet smile never comes back after this, all hell will break loose. Because he’s never afraid of his own scars, but yours? Oh, that’s his deepest, darkest fear.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Neo Culture University Newsblog

“NCU’s Top Cheerleader, the captain of NCU Squadron, the first ever cheerleader to perform the highest basket toss in NCU cheerleading history, Y/N, L/N, famously known as The Bird, announces her departure from the squad after the incident at the first game between NCU vs SHU.

Also known as Birdie, had suffered a career ending injury after falling whilst performing a routine last Thursday night. It was announced by the cheer committee that Hwang Youngmin will be replacing her as a captain of the squad.

Furthermore, investigations involving a former cheerleader who’s accused of sabotaging the Cheer Captain’s career, causing her to retire from cheerleading. Foul play is suspected, and we’ll be reporting more on it soon. So far, it has been confirmed that said cheerleader is now kicked out of the squad. Updates soon.”

Renjun is filled with nothing but rage.

That was your dream. That was your everything. And just for… a fucking bitch to ruin it all for you?

“Calm down, man. I’m sure the school will handle it.” Jeno, ever the mediator says. This was the first time his friends saw him this fuming.

“No. Fuck no. I want that bitch out of this school.” Renjun was adamant about kicking Julie out. He’d do everything in his power to make sure she didn’t step foot on this campus ever again.

“Are we even sure about what happened—” Haechan attempts to cut in on the conversation but a sharp look from Renjun made him freeze.

“Do I look like I care? Accident or not, I’ll make sure she suffers. I’ll make up a dumb fucking reason, anything, to get her kicked out. I’ll fund the fucking investigation against her. I’ll make sure she pays for it. Whatever it takes.” His voice was dangerously calm. Every word carrying weight, every threat sounded like a promise.

It doesn’t matter to him now. He could lie and tell everybody he hates you, but nobody could ever hurt you like this. Not on his watch.

You could cheat on him a million times but he’ll never be angry enough to let this happen to you. Not when you were once his everything — not when you’re once his lifeline. Everyone else doesn’t matter.

When it comes to you, he’d do worse.

Haechan, Jeno and Jaemin looked at each other, worried about what Renjun would do. They had never seen him filled with this much rage. It was horrifying, the lengths he’s willing to take for you.

And deep inside, they knew that behind the cold exterior he always treated you with, is a man who is still deeply in love with you.

Also, one common knowledge among them is never to mess with Renjun.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

“Thank you, Ms. Lin! See you next monday,” You waved goodbye to your therapist, as you went out for your weekly physical therapy.

After the surgery, it was really hard to adjust. You needed to use clutches for what it feels like forever, and there were restrictions that you needed to follow. The school granted you a scholarship, which was really awesome to hear. At least that was taken care of.

“Baby,”

You look up front to see Renjun waiting for you in his car. You smiled at him and waved excitedly. He runs up to you, swiftly taking your bag with him.

“Right on time, impressive.” You sneer at him. He grabs your hand and hooks it over his arm.

“I was here fifteen minutes early, baby.” He winks at you, giving you a light peck on the lips. You giggled, watching him open the car door for you. You put your injured knee first, before sitting with your entire body.

“Where are we going?” You ask. He didn’t tell you about the plans today, but you didn’t bother to ask either. You just assumed he would take you back to his apartment and you’ll just burn a hole in his couch watching netflix the rest of the day.

You can never really pinpoint on when you and Renjun decided to get back together, or at least you think you’re back together. Ever since that day at the gymnasium, Renjun never left your side. You didn’t dare ask him what’s going on, afraid to ruin whatever it is.

You sat there, a bit uncertain on why Renjun still hasn’t started the car. You turn to him, looking for any reason as to why he just sat there gripping the steering wheel.

“Giselle called today,” He exhaled.

You widen your eyes in aghast. That’s a name you’ve never heard before. Or more accurately, that’s a name you wished to never hear of ever again.

Nonetheless, you guessed this topic should be discussed sooner or later. You can’t always avoid the inevitable, hiding from the ghosts from the past. And you believe that the both of you are much more grown now to handle it maturely.

“She saw the article, apparently. And uh, she told me.. Well, everything.” You take a deep breath.

You clear your throat and nodded, calculating on how you should go about the conversation. You’ve rehearsed begging him for forgiveness a thousand times before, however, you realize that you should just tell him what you feel at the moment. Not some rehearsed bullcrap, because Renjun deserves nothing but the raw truth from you.

“How’s Giselle? I hope they’re doing good,” You start with genuine curiosity.

Renjun furrows his brows as he looks at you. “Baby, they gave you hell and you still wish them the best? I–I don’t think I can ever forgive them for ruining us, ever.” He claims, grabbing your hand, intertwining it and kissing the back of your palm.

You smile warmly at him. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll forgive them for the both of us.”

He shook his head, disagreeing. “No. You’ll have to learn how to express anger for people who deserve it. You can’t let them get away every single time. They’d just do it all over again.”

A semblance of a smile had gently flickered onto your lips as you admired him. “Alright, baby. I’ll try. But good thing you’re with me now, right? You can be the bad cop and I’d be the good cop!”

Through his serious demeanor, a small smirk threatened to sneak its way on his mouth.

“And I’m so sorry for treating you like shit. I was deep in my own hateful charade to mask the fact that I still wanted to be with you. I guess I was a puss–”

“Language, baby.” You faked an angry tone, but immediately smiled after. “Besides, I understand. I wouldn’t want to be seen with a person who cheated on–”

“You didn’t, baby. You quite literally had no choice.” He warned.

“Okay, sure but you also have to let me earn your trust. At the end of the day, I still kissed somebody else when we’re together. But at the same time, I also feel terrible because it seemed like I sacrificed our own relationship for nothing.”

Everytime you remind yourself of the decision you made when you were young, hurting the person you love, for something that was taken away from you way too soon, makes you feel so stupid. So disappointed in yourself.

“I trust you with my life, baby. You’re responsible for me now, so don’t you dare leave me again. Okay? I love you.”

Before you wallow in guilt, Renjun kissed you deeply and passionately. Your lips move in a rhythmic manner, as if it was a melody that played in the silence of your hearts, a song of tenderness and affection.

“Shit, baby we should go. We’re going to be late,” He pulled away too early, despite your pleas and looked at his wristwatch.

You turn your head in confusion. Do you have plans today? He didn’t say anything and began to drive. You were sitting in your seat demented, wondering where he’d take you. You try to familiarize the road he’s taking, but you are left clueless.

He stopped at an expensive looking hall, seemingly a restaurant, or an events place, honestly you’re not sure. There's a waitress waiting at the reception. Renjun just says his name, and the woman just nodded and smiled at you. You hesitantly smiled back, and that’s when she guided you inside.

“What is this?” Your heart is now pumping out your chest, as you try to figure out Renjun's plan.

He just turns to you and puts his index fingers on his lips. The waitress stopped at a double door, knocked five times, odd to say the least, then gestured for Renjun to open the door.

For a moment, Renjun unlinks your hands from his arms to open the door. And as soon as you took a step inside the dark room, a collective excitement shrieked as the lights turned on.

“Congratulations, Birdie!”

Your eyes widened, your mouth fell open as you saw everyone who ever mattered to you greets you with the widest smile as they held their own party prop. The confetti drowns you, but it doesn't baffle you. What touched you the most is your cheer squad, Minnie leading them as she blows the small horn.

‘Celebrating Y/N “The Bird” L/N’s legacy in NCU Squad’ it says on a banner.

You covered your mouth and immediately broke down, Minnie running to you and hugging you so tight.

“Bitch, you’re gonna make me cry!” She whines as she tries to wipe your tears off your face.

You clutch your chest, being overwhelmed in joy. Sniffing silently as you greet the other people.

“There she is!” You hear Coach Evie emerging from the crowd, embracing you.

“Thank you, Coach.”

“You’re by far the best cheerleader I’ve seen in my career. But I know you’re much better than just being a cheerleader. Please remain as hopeful as you were before, Birdie.” She says, making you sob even more. You murmured more gratitude to her.

“Uh-Uhm.” You look at someone clearing their throat beside you, and you see an awkward Haechan standing there looking at his feet. Renjun harshly nudges him forward to you, Jeno and Jaemin smirking behind him.

“I apologize for my behavior, and I regret everything I have said that’s hateful towards you. I wish we could get along and be friends. And again, I’m sorry.” He says, almost robotic, and most people would find it insincere, but you just chuckled.

“Did Renjun ask you to memorize that?”

“Renjun asked more, actually. He was supposed to kneel, Birdie. Just wait for it..” Jaemin snickers, Jeno laughing at the entire thing.

“Psh. It’s fine, Haechan. I forgive you.” You say in the middle of a laugh, finding it almost adorable how Haechan is scared of Renjun. Somehow, it just makes sense.

It was Jeno’s turn to hug you, “Congrats, Birdie.” He’s always been soft and composed. You always appreciated that about him.

“Come here! Congratulations Birdie!!” Jaemin runs to you and embraces you, spinning you around. You yelp, not expecting it but Renjun quickly holds Jaemin’s shoulder as he pulls you from him.

“Not too much on my girl, dude!” Renjun shouts, as if Jaemin just kidnapped you in broad daylight. Jaemin carefully puts you down, pointing at Renjun with a mischievous smile splattered all over his face.

“Ooh, Is our Renjun jealous?”

The three of them clowned Renjun on, “It’s just–! She’s injured!” He says in defense.

As much as you want to watch him have fun with his friends, you’re afraid what’s on your mind can’t wait any longer.

“Baby,” You gently pull at his hand. He whipped his head towards you quickly.

You caress his furrowed brows, smoothing it then caressing his cheeks. In the middle of the chaos, the noise and the sea of people, you looked at him as if you two were the only people in the room.

His eyes fill your chest with warmth, the familiarity of his touch calming your soul, and the comfort of his smile soothes your entire wellbeing. He is your solace, and you won’t ever fucking do anything to hurt him, ever again.

“I love you,” You say, silently, eliciting a smile from him. He leans down, kissing you with intensity, almost sparking a flame between the two of you. You hear the crowd cheering, as you two pull away.

“I love you, and you will never be unloved by me. I’m sorry baby but you’re stuck with me. Be my girlfriend again?” He asks loud enough for just the two of you. You nod eagerly, kissing him again.

That’s when you felt the world cheer for your happiness. It’s now clear to you that your happiness is with him. Not with cheerleading, not with anything else. Your dream could change, your future could give you the biggest plot twist ever known to man, but one thing’s for sure.

Just as long as you’re with Renjun, you’re gonna be okay.

To: My dearest Renjun,

I will love you in this lifetime, and the next, because forever doesn’t seem enough. My love, you’re worth it all. xoxo

-y/n

-end-

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massivelyshadyshawdows · 2 days ago

Text

First things first, I'll start the day with a meticulous cleaning routine. You see, a good toy is not only visually appealing but also hygienic and well-maintained. I've scrubbed every inch of my body, ensuring that I'm squeaky clean and smelling of sweet vanilla. After all, who doesn't love the scent of freshly baked cookies wafting from a submissive little slut? With my skin feeling silky smooth and my mind racing with anticipation, I've lubricated my tight holes, making sure they're ready to be filled with whatever my Master desires.

Now, let's talk about the attire. I've chosen a stunning black latex catsuit that hugs my curves like a second skin. It's tight enough to make every inch of me look irresistible, yet flexible enough to allow for the full range of motion that comes with being a sex toy. The shine from the latex is absolutely mesmerizing, reflecting the soft glow of the room, making me feel like a living, breathing piece of art. The sound of it squelching against my skin as I move sends a thrill through my body, a reminder of the erotic playtime that awaits.

My day begins with a series of stretches to ensure my body is as limber as possible. After all, I want to be able to contort into whatever position my future owner finds most pleasurable. As I stretch, my muscles protest, but I know it's all for the greater good. With every bend and twist, I imagine the delight that will be etched on their face when they see how easily I can fold in half or spread my legs wider than should be humanly possible.

Speaking of spreading, I've also decided to spend some quality time with my favorite butt plug. It's a big one, gleaming black. I lube it up with a generous dollop of lube, savoring the coldness as I spread it around the tip. I take a deep breath and slowly push it in, feeling it stretch me wide and fill me up. The sensation is oddly comforting, a constant reminder of what I'm here for.

As the day progresses, I'll be experimenting with different sensations. Perhaps I'll wear a pair of nipple clamps while I run errands, the constant tug keeping my nips hard and sensitive. Or maybe I'll slip a vibrator into my cunt while a coffee shop, my cheeks flushing as it hums away, bringing me closer and closer to the edge without allowing me to tip over. After all, a good toy knows how to keep itself on edge, always eager for more.

For lunch, I'll treat myself to a light meal of finger foods, something I can eat without the need for cutlery. It's all about getting used to serving myself up in bite-sized pieces for when I'm presented to my Master.

Throughout the afternoon, I'll be practicing my oral skills. I've got a dildogag that's just the right size and shape for the job, gagging and drooling like the good little slut I am. The sight of me on all fours, mouth stretched wide around a cock, is something I know will drive you wild. I'll spend hours getting used to the feel of it, the way it hits the back of my throat, making me gag and sputter.

As the sun sets, I'll slip into something a bit more… revealing. Perhaps a latex dress that barely covers my ass, or a skimpy little set that leaves nothing to the imagination. I'll wander around my apartment. After all, a good toy is always available for use, no matter where it is. I leave my door unlocked, just in case my Master decides to drop by unannounced. The thrill of not knowing if I'll be caught in such a compromising position makes my heart race and my cunt throb.

And let's not forget the finishing touches. I'll paint my face with a mask of obedience, my eyes lined with smoky black liner that makes them look like the windows to my soul—a soul that craves nothing more than to be used and abused. My lips will be a glossy red, pouty and wet, begging to be kissed or bitten. My hair will be pulled back into a tight bun, exposing my neck for whatever use my Master sees fit.

But the pièce de résistance? The collar. A shiny, chrome collar that says, without a single word, "I belong to you." It'll sit snugly around my neck, a constant reminder of my place. I'll attach a leash and lead, ready to be walked like the obedient pet I long to be.

As the night wears on, I'll keep myself entertained with a little bit of solo play. I'll tease and tantalize my clit with a vibrator, bringing myself to the brink of orgasm again and again without ever allowing myself to come. This is a crucial part of my training, learning to deny myself pleasure until it's given. By the time my Master arrives, I'll be a writhing, whimpering mess of need.

But what really makes today special is the promise of tomorrow. Each and every day is a chance to become more of the toy I was meant to be. Whether it's trying new outfits, learning new tricks, or pushing my body to its limits, I'll be eagerly awaiting the moment I'm picked up and played with.

So, today I'm becoming a better plaything. Submissive, eager, and ready for whatever comes my way. And when tomorrow rolls around, I'll wake up and do it all again. Because that's what good toys do. They crave the attention, the use, and the pleasure of serving and as the days go by, I'll only get better at it. More empty. More sexy. More slutty. More… me.

What are you doing today to be a better toy?

Could be anything, really. You might have decided that today you'll crawl around on all fours when you're in private, so that you can more easily feel like the submissive little pet you want to be. Maybe you've made up your mind to lift up your top and expose your tits when you're working at your desk, or spend the day bottomless, all to feel more exposed and slutty. Hell, you could even have resolved to spend a few minutes every hour pressing a toy into yourself, because you want to get more used to and eager for that feeling of being stuffed full.

Every single day is an opportunity to make yourself emptier, happier, and closer to the kind of plaything you want to be.

So, once again:

What are you doing today to be a better toy?

Share your methods down in the replies or reblogs! I'm sure that other bimbos, pets, and dolls would appreciate the new ideas.

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killuakiru · 3 days ago

Note

Hiii hru? I was wondering if I could request gon and killua (seperate) with a fem reader that is very girly? And I know it’s kinds weird but she kinda has pretty privilege and will literally get whatever she wants by winning at some other teenager. Shes very kind and sweet though so she doesn’t take advantage of it. Sorry if that’s kind of odd and if you don’t want to write it it’s ok🫶 love you!

HI ANON !! It's completely alright 🫡 I find this request rly cute as my other post was the exact opposite ! Thank you for making this request 🫰 Apologies if its ooc ( out of character ), but I had soo much fun writing this !

⊹₊⋆ IT Girl !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⊹₊⋆ Girly!Reader x Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecss ( Separate ! )ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

༉‧₊˚. Let's Start !༉‧₊˚.

༉‧₊˚. Killua Zoldyck !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Now let's all be honest ! The first time Killua met you, he probably felt so annoyed and kept grumbling how they were teams with a "girl." As the stereotypical boy he is.

• But despite Killua's comments, you were so unbothered and even excused his actions?! He was stunned! Because if that was him, he'd internally judge them!

• But honestly, Killua underestimated you. In Killua's eyes, you looked so.. fragile? Yet your performance in combat impressed him! You were pretty agile, and you had a smart mind— not to mention, you were pretty, too! Not like he would say that out loud.

• During the final examination, yk the time where he killed an applicant? He could see you from his peripheral vision, and he saw genuine worry and concern for him. HIM. He found that so odd that a girl like you would worry for him.

• When you rescued him, that look in your eyes just SCREAMED affection, and that just hit Killua in the gut, y'know? Who wouldn't fumble in their words when such a pretty and sweet girl like [Name] comes running to them with an expression like that.

• See now— in Killua's case, he's never been with a caring or sweet female since almost everyone is his household is literally fucked up. So you were a new case for him.

• Nonetheless, he was pretty honored and glad you came for him out of everyone.

• And so, he slowly warmed up to you, even growing comfortable to the point he'd randomly touch your hair, arms, fingers, just any where he thinks that looks odd or pretty.

• Yes ! He sometimes stares at your features and finds himself admiring them. Well who wouldn't?! The way you bat your eyelashes so innocently, the way your lip gloss reflects the sun in a positive elegant way when you smile, complimenting your teeth, the way your blush makes your cheeks so much more squishy he just wants to—

• "Killua? You okay? You're zoning out again." [Name] says in amusement with Gon just looked at the boy who was staring, Killua blinked twice and hummed in a nonchalant manner, placing his hands behind his back and shrugged. "I'm perfectly fine. Better than ever. Let's get going again."

• There was one time where there's this one kid around their age who was gatekeeping Killua's the store's choco robots and you came to Killua's rescue, using your very cutesy face card to convince the kid to at least have 3!

• After that, Killua looked at you like you're some kind of GODDESS. He's been trying to convince that kid and you did it so effortlessly?! Even snagging him an extra one?! Oh you're his favorite now.

༉‧₊˚. Gon Freecss !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• He found you SUUUPER cute and charismatic ! Like the whole time you two were talking, he'd always sneak in a compliment ! His words flattered you a bunch, too !

• He's like a natural smooth talker 'cause WHAT?! Every compliment / comment he makes about you leaves your heart beating!

• Instead of you making him flustered, you ALWAYS find yourself stammering over your words. Was it you who fell in love first or was it him?!

• Honestly with how smooth he is you're starting to think he treats every girl like this.. ( Spoiler, he doesn't )

• During the Heaven's Arena training, he was genuinely worried since you'd often wear skirts, but turns out you were already prepared! Introducing the.. skort! While it looks like an ordinary skirt, there were already built in shorts inside to prevent the creeps from looking!

• Similarly to Killua, he finds himself staring but is shamelessly doing it. When you stare back, he smiles. SMILES so charmingly, making YOU look away and he laughs.

• He loves the fact you get along with anyone you see or talk to !! It's probably because of your looks and personality, but nonetheless he supports you !!

• okay but I js know he's really vocal with your favorite features !! He probably loves your hair since it looks so silky, smooth, and soft to the touch! He also probably loves your nails too ! Almost having new and different styles monthly and he loves making guesses and predictions on what the design / style it'll be !!

• oh and, he absolutely LOVES how you do a wardrobe change almost everyday, you and Killua do a bunch of fashion shows together and Gon rates them :3

• His favorite fits are probably the ones with the very long skirts that reach the ankles with a comfy top, just anything that reminds him of Mito !

• He loves all the girls in his life equally :3 a lot of things reminds him of you and Mito ! So when he brought you and Killua to Whale Island to meet Mito, he was really happy that you got along well with his mother <3

• This was honestly his go signal to just shoot his shot, what could he lose? His mama loves you so much ! And he does too !! And so does Killua !! Everyone approves of you !!

༉‧₊˚. End !༉‧₊˚.

Thank you for reading ! This strictly belongs to me / killuakiru and I do not give permission for you to repost on other platforms, thank you !

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh 2011 #hxh fanart #hxh killua #hxh phantom troupe #hxh smau #hxh x reader #killua x reader #gon x reader #hxh gon #hxh x y/n #hxh x you #killua zoldyck #gon freecss

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citrinae · 10 hours ago

Text

forgive me, for i love being bad for you.

sanji x reader (ft. platonic!zoro)

summary; everyone agrees that you and roronoa zoro are like two peas in a pod: cool, unbothered, hitting pubs on the regular. everyone, except your boyfriend sanji—who’d try anything to distract you from your visibly chaotic lifestyle. even visiting a potion shop. or: sanji needs to get out of his head in four acts.

contents; angsty vibes, lowkey love triangle, miscommunication™, abandonment issues, drinking, sex pollen, a little dubcon tbh, piv, oral sex (both receiving), facesitting, multiple orgasms, creampie, college/modern!AU, witch!sanji, jealous!sanji, afab!reader, wc: 7.3k (wheezes), mdni. spooky carnival is still in town, go catch it if you’re in for a bad time.

masterlist.

Zoro sets his glass back on the table with a forceful clink. There’s liquor rolling to the corner of his lips.

“I still don’t get it,” annoyance hangs from his voice as he speaks. “How the fuck you put up with him?”

Your reflection looks back at you from the amber in your glass.

“He’s sweet and he cooks for me,” you mean it. Despite Zoro’s lack of trust in your newfound romance, slightly taking to repulse, Sanji has been nothing but a dream to you. Resting his cheek on yours as you were watching some movie you borrowed for the night, swinging hands as he took you grocery shopping. Everything about him buzzes with the type of comfortable affection one meets in magazines, or in Christmas commercials, and you’re sure to fall harder for him by the day. “Have you taken the time to cook for someone you dated?”

“Yeah?” Zoro washes the accusation away with another sip. “You into cooks?”

“Apparently.”

“‘s he a good cook?”

A smile, prideful. “Nothing but a wizard in the kitchen.”

“Christ, you’re even starting to sound like him,” he teases further. “Putting random words together and expecting to make sense.”

“He’s a good cook, Zoro,” you tell him again.

There’s a pause.

“No kidding.”

At a loss of what to say, you clumsily try to fill the silence.

“Yeah.”

“As long as you like him or whatever,” defeated, waving his hand. “Just keep him outta my sight, will you?”

“Deal,” you say, downing your drink as you do. Bitterness lingers on the roof of your mouth, throat burned and numbed out. Suddenly your mind wanders somewhere else. “Care for another round?”

Zoro’s smirk is sly, devilish. “Now that’s more like my language.”

So you get yourselves a second refill that turns into a third, and a forth, until there’s no more use to bother about keeping count. Your surroundings seem to start whirling for a second. You close your eyes, then open them. And everything gets back into place.

On the day you met him, somewhere around campus, basking in the sun like a stray cat on trim lawn, you and Zoro hit off immediately. Scruffy hair, bomber jackets, eyes looking like he’s about to fall asleep any minute, Zoro is the type to never dwell on things for longer they’re worth. Always a guy of instinct, speaking truths others might opt to stay away from. On the other hand you have a knack for chaos he easily complements, so for over a year now he’s been a good and loyal friend to you, your time together something neither of you would regret or give up on.

He’s the one who introduced you to Sanji. Now it’s clearer to you that Sanji had probably asked him to. Neither of them expected it when you accepted to go out with him, “It’s just a fucking date, chill out. Free meal you know?”; and to your own surprise, your heart skipped a good beat when you saw him that night.

Sanji. Annoying, perverted, absolutely fucking delusional Sanji, lighting up a cigarette in front of his car. Light fell nicely on his rings as he kept a hand around a flower bouquet—the pretentious kind, with a wrapper and ribbon and all. Red button-up, black jeans, coat. Heart-warming smile.

Everything about the scene felt like something taken from those really sugary rom-coms you and Zoro make fun of when drunk. Yet somehow you admired Sanji for putting in the effort. His hand quivered on the door handle, “You look sensational, my dear.” Adjusting your seat belt, you told him that he didn’t look so bad himself, and by the pink crossing his face as you did, you deduced he might not be used to having flattery thrown his way.

At dinner he told you he was raised in a small restaurant down east, and that they sold soy wax candles and herbs right next door. Wiping up your mouth with a handkerchief, you tried to come up with a quip around it, “And you stocked healing crystals and runes as well, right?” But then he just propped his hand in a palm, a wide smile blooming on his face that made you unsure whether he was playing along with the narrative or simply felt happy to talk about his past. “Sometimes we did, yeah. But we were more into the culinary side of things.”

When, a couple days later, you told Zoro that you and Sanji had spent the night together, he didn’t hesitate to let you know that he thought it a bad idea. He warned that Sanji was weird—not in the sense that he had a wandering eye or spent a rent-worth on cigarettes. He was simply weird. Fingers drumming on wood, “Caught him mustering some nonsense crap to a jar once. Like he was enchanting it or something.” Soon you were reliving the conversation you had on your first date. “You mean he’s, like, Sabrina the Teenage Witch?” Zoro didn’t catch it. “Who?” he said, and you waved him off. “Nevermind.”

The sneer he wore back then was similar to the one he makes now, seeing the blue light of your phone fill the room with a notification.

“It’s him,” you say, fingers instinctively hovering to your lock screen. Neither can you help looking at the hour displayed in blinding white: 01:51 A.M.

Zoro keeps himself from rolling his eyes. “Tell him I’m bringing you to your dorm.”

You text; the reply comes in a beat.

“He asks if you even know where my dorm is.”

“Of course I—” Zoro clicks his tongue. Then he snatches the phone from your hands and presses ‘record’. “Of course I know where to go you jackass,” he snarls, throat pulsing.

Taking your phone back, you check the message popping in not long after. “He says he’s coming over.”

“Fine then. Whatever.” It’s low. He sounds irritated. “Let’s pay and we’ll wait for your princess outside.”

And that’s exactly what you do; take care of the bill, grab your jackets and throw yourselves out. Feeling the crisp air on your cheeks, you realise you’re so much drunker than you’ve felt inside. You’re light, feathery, persistently on the verge of being blown out. Concrete flounders around you and you have to put in some additional effort to maintain your balance. Time becomes harder for you to register or something Zoro has just said made you cackle for too long because here is Sanji, your sweet boyfriend Sanji, parking his car not too far away from your forms. You can tell he put on himself the first things he saw in the wardrobe. His hair is slightly disordered, his step heavy as he rushes to your direction.

“Evening Angel,” Sanji chirps, pulling you into a hug, and you cannot help but dig your nose into the soft fabric of his hoodie, closing your eyes, glad to finally have something to lean your weight onto. His tone drops when he looks at Zoro. “Mosshead.”

Zoro’s hands are sunk into his pockets. “Told you I got everything under control.”

“Pardon me if I didn’t believe you.” Sanji is sardonic. “Looking at the state of this slump, seems like I was right not to.”

“Not my idea to come here, bitch,” Zoro drones. His breath fogs the air as he speaks. “Next time get your head outta your ass and listen to people before running your mouth.”

Some of Sanji’s cologne still hangs from the soft fabric. “This was the only place that allowed us to play cards,” you say against his chest.

“Aha,” he flattens his hand across your back. “At least tell me you played for money and bled this loser dry. Tomorrow will get yourself something pretty with stupid mosshead pocket change.”

“You done talking?” Zoro says through gritted teeth.

“Yeah,” Sanji’s lips press into a thin line. He’s slowly urging you towards the car. “We’ll be off in a beat.”

“We didn’t play for money,” you tilt your head to look at him, trying to match his steps as you distance yourselves from the pub.

“What a pity.” Between wry and affectionate.

You raise a loose fist in the air. “Till the next one, Zoro!”

“See ya daredevil,” Zoro shifts his weight from one leg to another. “Tuck your princess in and give him a sweet goodnight’s kiss, yeah?”

“Fuck you,” Sanji heaves, closes the door behind you.

On the way to your dorm, he doesn’t ask about how many you had or lecture about being alone—with Zoro—late at night. Why would he? He’s aware this is a part of you, and he’d lie if he said he doesn’t melt watching the glimmer in your eye and your lips curling into a wicked smirk each time you tell him how much fun you had. Though he does worry about you, sometimes, when you willingly throw yourself in all kinds of dangerous shenanigans. Seeing your head slipping down the backrest, silently Sanji casts a spell on your eyelids to make sure you sleep unbothered until tomorrow morning. Tucks some strands of hair behind your ear, yet his eyes are still fixed on the road, and his hands are both rested on the steering wheel.

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so exhibited with his magic had you been awake. But for now he takes the liberty to carry himself as if he were alone or in the company of the shitty bunch at the Baratie that taught him the craft to begin with. Foliage and plains and cottages move remotely in his wingspan while he continues to think of you. Your smile, your laughter, the nonchalant way you coil your arms around his own to show you around the places that you have so many stories to tell about. To him you are a bundle of new experiences and joy, something pleasant and airy he wishes to emanate himself someday. Always honest, always so easy to approach. Dandelion seeds whirling loosely in the wind.

But the one thing he cannot seem to take his mind from is that having a bent for partying also means having a bent for Zoro.

Lazy, shabby, perpetually absent-minded Zoro.

His hands tighten on the steering wheel.

Sanji has never really liked the guy, for reasons he doesn’t have the time or energy to list. Tolerance is perhaps too much to describe the compromise he’s willing to take; but he attempts it, for your sake. Because no matter how he tries looking at things Zoro adds something to this life of yours he certainly doesn’t have, or doesn’t know how to make up for. No matter how well you fit in his arms, early in the morning with sleep still heavy on your lashes, throaty voice narrating a dream so bizarre it plucks a laughter from his lips, the nights will always be reserved to someone he wouldn’t even bother to understand. Because he doesn’t want to.

Window rolls down; he lights up a cigarette.

Moments pass. His car stops by a pair of victorian-esque gates he doesn’t take long to recognise. He carries you on his back all the way to your dorm room, putting to sleep everyone he stumbles upon as he does; he isn’t supposed to be here, and certainly you aren’t supposed to return this late at night. He’s thankful you chose to sleep in the bottom bed. With this thought in mind he arranges your pillow and places you under the covers, slowly, gently almost like you were made of glass. From his tote bag he picks out a flask and a piece of paper he scribbles on: “for your hangover—sanji <3”

ii.

The sun bleeds through stained glass in dazzling shades of pink and blue and yellow. Wind chimes, cluttered shelves. Dusted books. The air is thick with the smell of wood and incense. Sanji picks at the fingers that he keeps tucked into the pockets of his hoodie. He isn’t allowed to smoke in here, but fuck does he need a drag. Light catches across the variety of bottles and jars lined up in front of him, all displayed in eye-catching colours and labelled in alphabetical order.

Would I? He tries his best not to pick up the light blue piece lingering a little too at hand not to be a work of fate. Should I? Sanji kisses his teeth; he takes the thing into his palm.

There’s a piece of paper attached by lace ribbon. Writing is dainty, yet small and hardly intelligible.

Truth shows itself in wicked colours;

betrayal, freedom, promise.

For they who shall drink this wicked brew

take a night in their beloved’s embrace.

Is their bond seen pure and true,

the Garden sees no place for others.

Like the first lovers on Earth—

runaways from Eden, they shall be.

Sanji takes a deep breath. Flips the flask on all sides, reading and rereading, biting his inner cheek. It’s not like he doesn’t trust you. He does, with all his heart. And yet he cannot help but shamelessly wonder: if Zoro hadn’t introduced you, would you and him have ended up together? Does he stand in the way of something which is meant to be? “I’m pathetic, fuck.”

He tastes blood.

Talking to you about this is out of the question, since that would mean admitting Zoro is a better match for you. Plus, honesty is one of the things he admires about you. He’s sure you wouldn’t cheat. To bring this up would only lead to conflict and the sort of disappointment he’d rather choke to death than see reflected in your eyes.

“This shit is ridiculous.”

The flask makes a frail sound as Sanji throws it in the basket. Stomping the floor with his foot, a cold sweat bobbing at his nape, at checkout he’s greeted by a gorgeous woman dressed in a velvet dress and speaking with a faint voice he doesn’t care enough to pay attention to. There’s a black cat sleeping on a shelf behind her.

“Is this everything you needed?” she asks, carefully placing the goods in a paper pag.

Sanji drops some cash on the counter and leaves without saying a thing to her.

iii.

“What do you think, my dear?” Sanji asks you on the other side of the table. The potion he bought a week ago forms a bump inside the pocket of his dress pants.

You want to be sure of your answer, so you take another forkful of your food, still steaming hot and methodically arranged on the plate. It’s good. No, it’s tremendously good, better than you imagined it to be.

“Sanji, this is incredible,” you say, not allowing yourself the time to fully swallow. “And I’m not only saying this because I like complimenting you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” His face brightens, a mix of pride and the unpretentious joy he takes from cooking to other people. However he still looks to be preoccupied by something else you never find the right timing to ask about.

Embarrassment hitching up your throat, you drag your fork across ceramic. Sanji stays silent for a moment; his plate is barely touched. In hopes to escape the tension, your eyes wander to look at his curtains, his shelves, an enframed picture with a gruff old man and a much younger Sanji cheerily holding out a slice of lemon cheesecake. The apartment is small, but tasteful, with decent flooring and a rent anyone your age can afford. White walls, light blue cushioning. A closed balcony where he grows basil and rosemary.

You are going to sleep over tonight. It’s not that you've never done this before; have dinner together before deciding on a movie you’ll never get to watch because his hand grips on your thigh a little too tightly and your knee presses itself somewhere too bold to go unnoticed. But something feels different now, you cannot quite tell why. He feels different. With his avoidant eyes and stuttering words and index finger that frequently climbs to scratch an eyebrow.

“If you wanted to break up with me you could’ve chosen a café, you know?” you hear yourself saying, arms folded.

“What?” His chair scrapes the floor; he tries not to cringe from the sound. “No, no.” It's ferm. It's rushed. “Why would you think that?” goes unsaid.

Fingertips digging into the table, Sanji doesn't know how he ended up on his feet. He takes the opportunity to take the seat next to yours, plate and cutlery clanking along as he does. “No one's breaking up with anyone, sweetheart,” words fight their way through the knot in Sanji's throat.

Sanji shoves his fork in his food which now looks less parmigiana and more like something a primary school kid would make for their art class assignment. Fuck, adding wasted food to his trainwreck fog of thoughts is the last thing he wants for tonight. After he swallows it down, his tone finally relaxes.

“I was actually thinking of proposing something, now that we’re soon to move up to dessert. Something I'd like us to try,” he says.

It registers quickly. “Like in bed?”

“It might sound a little weird, though.” Sanji avoids meeting your eyes. His chest rises and falls in a disjointed rhythm as he tries his best to empty his plate.

“I like weird,” you say, propping your head on a fist, curiosity pushing your mouth a little higher.

He cannot help but mimic your smile. “Well I bought us something.”

“You did.”

“Yeah, I did.” Not wasting any more time, he pulls the flask out of his pocket, displays it on the dinner table—clear liquid bottled in cerulean crystal, ribbon unfastened and label removed. Your eyes widen. “I was doing some grocery shopping, and stumbled upon this,” Sanji explains.

You take it in your hands, blinking, carefully not to damage the contents. “Is this an aphrodisiac?”

“You can call it that,” he says. “It stimulates the senses, so everything should feel a little more intense than usual. I know I haven’t been necessarily adventurous with you, dear,” looking into his plate, then at you. Inevitably he starts thinking of Zoro. “Thought maybe I can start from somewhere.”

Your hand reaches his. “You don’t have to go out of your way for me. You’re perfect for me, yeah? And I have fun with you. Lots of it, actually.”

“I know—” heat rising in throat, he reaches to loosen his shirt collar. “I mean, you’re perfect for me, too, hell I cherish each and every moment we spend together. Kind of felt intrigued to experience this with you, is all. However it’s definitely ok and understandable if you don’t feel comfortable doing it.”

Inspecting the flask in your hands, you give it a second of thought. You know the kind of shops Sanji frequents: equipped with dust and smoke and mysteries. The between-buildings types you have asked about before, and received a response either too vague or too straightforward to be taken seriously. Even still, trust has never been an obstacle. You trust Sanji; he has trustworthy eyes and a soothing voice that feels like a kiss on one’s eyelids. He’s good to you, always has been, when he cradles your face in his palms and calls you his sun and moon and stars, stardust dripping from his eyes as he assures you’re the best he’s had.

“Does this have any side effect or some sort?” you look up to search for his gaze, and like pulled by a magnet Sanji returns it.

“No,” he says. “Wears off in the morning. Like nothing happened.”

If you don’t end up running to Zoro, that is. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach as the thought snipes through his mind. He’s not sure how to feel about lying to you, either. But maybe it’s for the best; if it turns out he isn’t your meant-to-be after all.

Decisive, “Fuck it. Let’s do it, then.”

Sanji’s smirk fades out the anxiety. “In this case our next course will consist of one more secret ingredient.”

Feet swinging, tapping against the floor. Walls drifting apart and closing in. Moments have passed through you like sequences from a dream, and you fiddle with the sleeves of your sweater as Sanji sets the dessert on the table—two delicate things, like they were long intended to play the highlight of your night, light pink and beautifully decorated with dried rose petals and pomegranate seeds. For a minute you marvel at Sanji’s attention to detail, the love he puts into any dish as he turns them into something special and palatable.

“Baby,” your laugh is a casual play at fragrancy Sanji takes in with a one-sided smile. “There’s no way I can run my teaspoon into this.”

He takes the seat to your right. “The real deal happens when you taste it, sweetheart,” he says, reaching for a teaspoon of his own, strands of blonde hair brushing one cheek as he does.

And when you eventually do it, run tableware through moulded cream, you relish the sweetness that melts on the roof of your mouth. Sanji asks if you can tell the other thing apart from the dish. You say no, I don’t, do you? I think it’s the pomegranate, he acts like he’s uncertain even though you’re sure it shouldn’t take more than a few seconds. I only used some as decor. But here it’s rather pungent, not that I’m complaining. Child’s play. Halfway through your tasting, a second question comes.

Do you feel anything?

I don’t.

Do you?

No.

Sanji’s heart clutches in his chest. He’s impatient, laughable even, he knows he is, since spells like this should take longer to surface. Three times he mouthed the chant and the potion gracefully vanished into steam as it poured down the servings, no drops left. By the look of that, Sanji might at least expect something to happen. Either bad or reassuring.

Yet you stay your familiar comfortable selves even after you’ve eaten the whole thing, carrying on as such when you help him—at least attempting to, he never lets you lift a finger—clean the table and watch him washing the dishes from one of his counters. Sleeves pushed to elbows, fingers sunk into the sponge, hair pushed into concentrated, concentrating eyes. Water rolls off his wrists—drip, drop. He tells you something, but you cannot hear him. It hovers towards the ceiling and in the back of your head, a muffled sound engulfing you not less like the numbing feeling of being underwater. Shamelessly you ask him to repeat.

Okay, maybe you do start feeling some way.

Sanji turns off the tap. A crushing silence.

“I was wondering if you thought of something to watch tonight,” he turns to look at you, and stops.

He cannot tell if it’s your eyes, suddenly looking bigger, or your collarbones, stretching in and out in anticipation, wet lips looking wetter, slightly parted as you breathe, but he feels helplessly drawn to you, like you’ve been tied up by some invisible rope that keeps rolling up, more and more, thinning the space between your bodies. Air catches in his lungs as he lets himself be torn apart by his awe and not knowing what to do with it.

Just as indiscreetly you wrap your eyes around his shoulders, his chest, his biceps, looking so much more strained under his shirt. Watching him make a step towards you, it seems like his eyes have gotten brighter, cheeks catching a faint tinge of pink, and you have to fight the impulse to dip a hand under your sweater and see how those long fingers of his would feel on you.

Your fingertips bite into the front edges of the counter. “Not yet, no,” you say, a little disconnected from yourself. Sanji’s scent is an intoxicating mix of rosemary and sandalwood. “Guess we’ll have to browse and see what comes our way.”

“Sure. We’ll look.” Stepping forward, Sanji is the most relaxed he’s felt in days, his limbs and shoulders so much lighter as he moves, comfortably numb in the absence of a thought which has weighted on his back like a fiend draining him of his life force. He knows he has been waiting for something tonight, an answer, you calling a name he cannot bring himself to remember, and yet his mind is blank with nothing but the image of his lips crashing on yours.

His presence radiates need, and it sends an electric shiver down your spine as he comes closer to you, fingers running over your knuckles. When your eyes align with his, you find it impossible to look anywhere else. So you sink into the blue and drown. Sanji leans further in, and his breath is sultry against your earshell as he speaks.

“Fuck knows what’s happening to me, dear,” he says, a hoarse sound that makes your thighs squeeze together. “But please tell me you’ll ride my face before anything else.”

But he sure knows what’s going on. He put a spell on you; or something along these lines.

Your body moves by its own as you push forward, biting your bottom lip, pressing your chest against his. “Want me to fuck your mouth, pretty?” your tone echoes the urgency of his request.

His lips trail down your ear and across your neck. Suddenly your legs are wrapped around his torso. “Oh, and even more,” he tells you. “I want you to cream on my mouth so much that you’ll never find any other to please you just as good.”

“Then why am I not in your bed yet?” It comes out more desperate than it should. Without realising your fingers have unfastened at least two of his shirt buttons, and now they seem to cling onto his collar for dear life.

Something flares in him; powerful, primal, which he hasn’t been aware he’s had before, sliding a hand under your hips and picking you up before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss is deep, all tongue. You return it with closed eyes and a breathy moan that pulls Sanji in a frenzied daze. Hands curled at his nape, you lose yourself in the taste of nicotine and pomegranates as you let him carry you past dim lit walls and into the bedroom. He doesn’t bother to turn on the lights. When he hurls you in bed, it’s with a deliberate movement, careful not to bruise you in any way but not the less forceful altogether.

Then you take care of the rest of his buttons and belt, and he moves his focus to your pants, tugging them off while your mouths can’t gather the resolve to leave each other. Your fingers rake themselves through his hair. Smoothing the skin under your sweater, his hands stop to flatten around your breast. As Sanji presses his weight on you, it becomes impossible not to notice how fucking hard he is, greedy and throbbing against your soaked panties. He’s at his most unbridled tonight, and yet he touches you with the ritualistic devotion of a priest, mouthing syrup into your ear like lighting candles on an altar. The full moon spills in her light through the window, blue and delicate, and for a moment there you are sure Sanji’s contours have caught a prismatic glow, colourful flashes whirling in your vision, wavering around him like some sort of aura.

After he breaks away, you are still tied together by a thin thread of saliva. He pushes your panties aside, and your back arches when he slides a digit, and then a second one, into your slit. There’s lust in his eyes, the kind you’ve never seen on him before, drinking in the sweet faces you make while his fingers press in and out of you in circling motions, rubbing your clit just so sweetly as he does.

“Look how wet you are, dearest,” he mutters, more to himself than to you. “Always such a lovely mess for me.”

“I want you, Sanji,” you say, aware that you cannot hide the way he makes you feel by looking at him alone.

It’s you, Sanji.

Your voice echoes in his heart like water dripping in a cave, let it melt inside him with something close to relief. He wants to thank you; and yet he cannot tell exactly what for. What he does instead is pull you into another kiss, less vicious and more affectionate, keeping you close with a hand flattened on your nape.

The more you kiss him the brighter the room looks. Spectral rainbow fading behind his form.

“Could you shift your hips for me?” Sanji eventually suggests. “Let me taste you, honey.”

It doesn’t take long to figure out what he means by that. Like a thing of habit, you let Sanji take your spot on the bed, then climb your way onto his face. You take yourself a moment before starting to move, but all wariness disappears the moment he drags a flat tongue across your slit. His voice vibrates into your core as your taste has him mumbling seared praises against your folds. Further you drop yourself on his mouth, and more he laps at your pussy, wet and desperate, coaxing you those sounds that fill the room and blend in with the moonlight.

Sanji’s tongue has always managed to make you shiver. But this time is different, because you can feel everything; nose and beard and lips, drenched in your slick, white-hot as they rub themselves against your favourite spots. You can feel it when his eyes close and open, taking his time to savour the moment, and when he lets out a pleasured sigh to let you know how grateful he is to be allowed the luxury of tasting you, there is a delirious sensation rushing from your heat and climbing to your back like an electrical shock. It makes you thrust your hips harder against his mouth, call out his name with the urgent solemnity you didn’t know your voice could be able to reproduce.

Looking at the way Sanji’s lower body tries to helplessly grind against nothing, cock straining in the confines of his boxers, bulging and stained with precum, you come to realise he must be feeling the same as you do. Oh, but Sanji revels in seeing how sweet you can be for him, and how good he can make you feel when he eats you out. He doesn’t mind the pain as long as he gets to lick you off his chin after he’s done. Never someone to dismiss your pleasure over his own. And yet.

As his mouth diligently works on the heat that is now building in your stomach, and your movements pick up in pace to reach the high, you cannot help not to stare at his cock, thrusting the air to catch up with your rhythm. Hands running a touch across his stomach, you lick your lips. Sanji moans into you when you lean down to tug at his boxers.

“Angel, what—” you hear him saying.

Not allowing him the time to protest, you press yourself onto his face. “I’m so close, please,” you inform him, in a voice you don’t recognise. “Please don’t stop.”

So he doesn’t, running his tongue around your clit, not letting a single drop go to waste. You’re almost there.

“Good goddess, fuck,” he huffs, feeling your hands on his balls, and shortly after your mouth kissing him at the tip.

He comes that instant; let heat shoot in your mouth and down your throat as you wrap your lips around him, swallowing and licking off everything you can. There is something wrecked in his voice as he’s taken through his crescendo, something like a prayer sent to an all-mighty, and even then he continues to kiss your folds and drag his tongue across you until you come to climb a peak of your own. With Sanji’s taste lingering on the roof of your mouth, tears begin to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you call for him, over and over again, enveloped in pleasures you never thought that existed.

Only when you’re brought back, a panting mess, you realise Sanji remained just as hard as you left him—something only that weird sex drink could’ve made it happen. You take the opportunity to lift your hips from his mouth and better adjust yourself at his crotch; he starts shifting awkwardly the moment you do.

“There’s no need to, really.” Sanji is hesitant as he looks down at you, lips red and goatee still soaked with your slick.

“But I want my meal,” you say, already licking at the tip. “It’s only fair you let me have one too.”

He’s having a hard time saying no to you; but how can he, when you talk with that voice, and when you look at him with those pleading eyes that reflect the gates to Heaven and more? Your mouth takes a little more of him, hot tongue trailing up and down his cock, and his eyes roll back into his head in visible defeat.

Sanji runs his fingers through your hair. His tone takes to yearning, “So my precious darling is hungry, huh? Cute and silly for my cock?”

“Mhm,” bottom lip rolling up, wetly.

Half smug, half dazed. “Then it’d be cruel of me not to keep you fed.”

Deeper you push your mouth around him, until he’s twitching in your throat and you start to gag. Sanji’s thumb finds your cheek—please don’t do anything you don’t want to. But you wouldn’t stop. You cannot stop. Not when you get to hear the whimpers he makes as your lips press around the skin ever so slightly, when you look up at his heaving chest, his parted lips, pushing out a broken exhale, the eyes that now flood with wavering reflections of the moonlight and tears threatening to wet his lashes.

“Oh, my angel.” It’s coarse, struggling for air. His eyes shut close. “My sun, my everything. Yeah, like that. So fucking good.”

Hands coated in spit, you reach to give his balls a gentle squeeze, continue to fill your throat. Once praises have started to spill from Sanji’s mouth, they don’t stop, and they touch a point at which the words feel like no more than babbling, trashed and incoherent, with his hair blown in both of his eyes. His hand sometimes runs to his forehead, other times he uses it to caress your face and pet your hair, but no matter what Sanji stays loud in letting you know how good whatever you’re doing to him feels.

The moment he sets both of his hands on your head, you know it’s because he’s getting close. With a fearful thrust of his cock into your mouth a growl leaves him, and soon after his second release spills down your throat, warm, somehow sweet. You swallow; his chest expands and contracts in attempt to catch his breath.

Specks of light dash off Sanji’s lips. Pulling you at his level, he clashes them against yours into yet another kiss, sloppy and greedy as he runs his hand down your curves, sinks his fingers into your skin. The touch sears everywhere it reaches; and you cannot do anything but melt in his arms, let yourself be moulded by this growing need that somehow can never quite satiate you.

“Hope you don’t think you won’t be rewarded for that,” Sanji breathes into your mouth.

Your lips rolling to his jaw, you say, “Hope you don’t think I’ve had enough of you.”

“I’m here for you to take,” with a quivering hand Sanji squeezes your pussy. “Will always be.”

His fingers send a delightful shock throughout your body. Something close to a moan tears from your throat. “You're such a whore for me, Sanji.”

“Can you blame me?” Sanji rubs his tip against your inner thigh. “Darling, please look at yourself.”

“For the love of god—” wet and breathless against his ear. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”

Your impatience endears him, has his heart beating so much faster than it already does. Still he starts slowly, pushing you onto the pillows, taking his time to relish your expression as he lifts your legs and lovingly sets them atop his shoulders. Sanji almost laughs at himself, because even under the influence of this potion that brings out anything wild and viscerally troublesome he has in him, nothing delights him more than getting to unravel you with the same care one deseeds a pomegranate in the kitchen.

Placing a kiss on your calf, he croons, “Say, sweetheart, what about you? Who do you crave for just so?”

Not wasting a beat, “You, Sanji.” It’s you.

He could get off by these words alone.

“And what do you want from me?” he starts to coat himself in your slick, pressing the tip on your clit every now and then. “Do you want me to fuck you, maybe? Fill you up and call you beautiful?”

You can only nod, legs coiling around his neck in anticipation. “Yeah, yeah. Please fuck me.”

Then you can feel him burying himself into you, and it rips a sound from your mouth as soon as he does. Your hips lift to increase the friction. You accommodate him easily, trembling under him and through the persistent knot in your stomach that has you wanting for more.

When he bottoms out, his voice is low, hypnotic. “Like this?”

“Like this,” you echo, drowning yourself in the wild glimmer flaring in his eyes.

Fingers dug into your legs, his temples sweaty, Sanji pulls out, then drops himself back in, each motion steadier than the other. Wet sounds fill the sheets as your bodies coil and flatten together like nothing matters in this world but you and this moment and the moon capturing your contours in ethereal glow. Nothing, no one. Sanji speeds his hips, chest flushed and sweltering. Usually you’re not as permissive with your sounds as he is, but tonight they seem to just pour themselves out of your mouth, every sigh and moan and whimper, sugar waterfalls thickening the air as Sanji moves you into each thrust.

“Ah,” you hear him say, a man aflame. “Refresh my memory, would you, angel? Who did you want to fuck again?”

Through an exhale, “You—” a pause. “Only you.”

“You feel so good,” he whines, collapses with a slapping sound. “So sweet, so perfect for me.”

Blue and pink and yellow; just as vivid when you close your eyes. He goes in deep, deeper, and your thighs are shivering against his torso.

“Yeah? You like that?” legs tightening their grip around him. “Like it when I take you good and confess?”

“More than that,” Sanji is breathless. “Makes me insane. You’re making me go insane.”

You wouldn’t admit it, but you know how it feels. To have your sanity run scarce by a voice telling you how faultless you are, that no matter how you see yourself you will always be a cosmos in someone else’s eyes. If anything, you should know this better than anyone else, the maddening feeling of being fed honey and sugar glaze as your thoughts are pressed against body heat. Lost in his trance Sanji picks up the pace, and there’s a wet, debauched mewl that overrides even the careless crash of your skins.

Lip caught under your teeth, “Want to, mh—wanna hear another confession, baby?”

“What’s on your mind, my sweet?” Sanji’s lips ghost over your calf.

“Think I—” with a thrust your eyes are hurled to the ceiling. “Fuck, I think I love you.”

Vulnerable.

Suddenly his chest drops against yours, a chance for your legs to flatten across his back, pulling him the closest you can. His fingers interlace with yours as he sinks into the crook of your neck.

Reckless.

The pace doesn’t slow down, but you can very well tell it’s become sloppier than before. A lost rhythm. When you look at him again, you are quick to notice the dampness pushing at the corners of his eyes.

“I love you too,” glad to finally word it this way. “I love you so much.”

Then he continues to rut into you, shaky voice fogging your neck the moment your nails pierce into his back. Your hips thrust themselves up, desperate for tandem. Heat erupts inside you. Another peak you’re yearning to chase.

“‘m gonna come, ‘m gonna come,” you tell him, cheek brushing over his hair.

“Let go, my dear,” in a frail tone. “Let me hear you.”

With a squeeze of your hand Sanji fucks you the way you need him to—viciously.

He could try. He could at least try to make you fall so hard for him that you will keep your words even after the spell wears off.

You pull at his hair, mean and senseless as a sudden burst of pleasure tears through you. Your lips move without being able to hear the words. There must’ve been something you said, though, you’re sure there was, because Sanji’s soon chasing after, hung on a mournful vowel, flooding you through his end.

The moon soaks into your bodies.

iv.

Sanji wakes up with tinnitus. He blinks, once, twice, waiting for the specks of colour before his eyes to rearrange into furniture. The next thing he recognises is your breathing, small and lukewarm on his chest. Instinctively his arms wrap themselves around you, and there’s a long exhale when they do. You’re naked, both of you. His head becomes heavy with flashes of last night, lips pressed together, bending sternum, and soon they are replaced with the sound of a name he thought he couldn’t remember. Sentiments he thought he discarded.

He thought he would lose you.

But you are still here.

Before knowing it, his arms are shaking, and like he’s done many times when he finds it impossible to contain himself, he covers his eyes with an elbow.

He starts crying.

Muffled, subtle, more worried about waking you up than about having to figure out an excuse for his tears. Droplets roll off his cheeks and onto his collarbone. His chest jerks up and down in a pathetic staccato. He wishes he were someone with more control over his emotions, sometimes, during moments like this. But he isn’t, and he cannot change, just like he cannot be many other things.

A soft rustle beneath the sheets. Arms squeezing his torso.

“Sanji, hey.” The words come out rasp, still filled with sleep. When he doesn’t answer, there’s a thumb wiping across his cheek. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m sorry,” is all he can manage.

Warmly, concerned. “Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry,” he hiccups again. “I’m so sorry.”

Because he doubted you. Because he cannot fucking stop doubting himself. Heaven knows he’d tell you all these things, were he a braver man. Instead there’s only one thing that seems to be coming out of him, a broken record.

“I’m sorry.”

You wouldn’t want to pressure him. Without saying anything else you keep Sanji in your arms, squeeze him tighter as his tears blend with your hair and your fingers move to soothe his frantic shoulders. Salt pours on his bottom lip. Sanji accepts the comfort despite his better judgement, burying his face into your neck, trying to focus on the sound of your breathing. You stay like this for a while.

There are so many things he’d want to tell you; the kind of things that eat through his guts and tear him apart. Silly images of him taking you to the Baratie, teaching you the way around potions, topping your hand as you sign your name in blood and knowledge, are you to feel rebellious enough.

And he will, one day; talk to you about everything he’s ever seen and touched. Now, however, he closes his eyes and hopes you will somehow catch a flicker of all the love he has in him; everything that makes him foolish.

by far the longest thing i've written in years & it's a boring au. now excuse me but i need to go lie down for a while.

#one piece x reader #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #black leg sanji x reader #one piece smut #sanji smut #mdni #spooktober 2024

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thebigbadbatswife · 12 hours ago

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Sippin' on Sunshine

Pairing - Bruce Wayne x F!Reader

Summary - You and Bruce get away from Gotham on his yacht.

Warnings - Established relationship, Mild sexual content, Age gap, Swearing, Intoxication, Fluff, Bruce's POV, a very brief mention of past unconsenual touching (not Bruce's doing!).

Word Count - 2.1k

The sun is shining brightly, making the brilliant blue of the sea glisten. The smell of salt fills Brue’s nose whilst a gentle breeze ruffles the open shirt he’s currently wearing and waves gently lap at the side of his yacht. He’s lounging on a sun lounger, a glass of whiskey, neat, in his hand. You’re just ahead of him, in a bikini of your favourite colour, dancing and singling along to the bubblegum pop that’s blaring from the speakers. All of it is almost enough for him to completely forget about how much older he is than you.

Almost.

Until he is catching sight of his distorted reflection in his drink and he’s reminded of the grey in his hair and the wrinkles by the corners of his eyes. He stares at it for a moment before downing the rest of his drink in one and setting aside the now empty glass, on the table next to him. If someone he trusted was to ask him he doesn’t know if he would be able to lie for once. The constant implications from every article surrounding the two of you and your relationship, implying he’s a cradle robber (because they know what will happen if they say it directly), and that he’s in the middle of a midlife crisis have started getting to him way more than he ever thought they would.

None of them change the way that he feels about you. You are completely and utterly intoxicating to him. The way that you look at him and say his name. The way that you curl up against him at night and the love songs that you sing to him from the playlist you have curated specifically for him, while he drives you somewhere. How you comb your fingers through his hair and you pepper his face with soft kisses. Or the sound of your laughter, your giggles especially, when he tells a bad joke or teases you.

All of it has him feeling a way that he has never felt before. It scares him and if he was a younger man it would make him run. In that way, he supposes, it’s a good thing he’s not a younger man.

You are none the wiser to his inner turmoil. You’re still dancing and signing along to the music which, of course, you’re great at. It’s the type of thing that, he supposse, is to be expected from a woman whose parents discovered she was talented early on in life and decided to exploit that for as long as possible. Until one day you finally turned around, told them to fuck off and started doing everything that you could to destroy the cute and friendly child star image you had attached to you. Which is another thing that the tabloids like to latch on to. Claiming that you’re using him to continue your rebellion and destruction of that image, dragging him down with you.

None of them bother you and he doesn’t believe a single word of them anyway. Besides, the several playboy photoshoots you have done, each one more risque than the last, have surely already done that damage you were looking for. Even if they hadn’t, and if you wanted him to help out, he’s always more than happy to do exactly that. You only need to ask him and he will help you put on a show that no one will be able to erase from their minds.

Your eyes finally meet his, your body turning to face him as you stop dancing. Your chest is heaving as you catch your breath. With his hand, he gestures for you to come over to him. Bruce wants to indulge in you, have you chase away the thoughts that are currently plaguing him. Your face immediately lights up and you eagerly make your way over to him.

He catches you as you almost fall as you make a move to straddle his body. Bruce makes a mental note to slow down your alcohol and to get some food inside of you, knowing all too well how yachts and intoxication don’t mix well with each other.

Though it is a sign of how comfortable and safe you feel when you’re around him. He knows that you have been on plenty of yachts in the past, but were always surrounded by men who only wanted to discuss “important things” and were way too comfortable with touching you when you really didn’t want them to.

It’s been a few days since you first told him that. It had come up shortly after he had presented the idea of getting away from Gotham for a little while on his yacht, that honestly never gets used anymore. You had been apprehensive about the idea until he had explained that, other than some staff, it was just going to be you and him. No one else. You had been excited about it after that. And if you hadn’t been? Well, he always had the private jet on stand by, ready to whisk you away and take you wherever you want at a moment’s notice.

Bruce still feels himself boiling over with rage over it when he thinks about it. When the two of you get home, he already has plans to to find these men and ruin their lives. Perhaps even put the fear of Batman into all of them. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, he refuses to let them get away with any of it, but that will have to happen after you get home.

“Careful,” he chides softly, his hand coming to rest high up on your waist to support you.

“Sorry,” you mumble. Your hands come up to cup his face and you lean in to kiss him. You taste like the lemonade and melon liquor you have been drinking today. Sweet and delicious.

He sighs softly as you part, a hand coming up to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. ‘ I’ll never get tired of kissing her,’ he thinks fondly as he gazes into your eyes.

“Are you having fun?” he asks.

His question seems to take you by surprise as you pull away from him a little and frown. You weren’t expecting him to ask you that.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” You don’t give him a second to reply, however, the gears in your inebriated mind spinning and working hard, quickly coming to your own conclusion before he can think of what to say. “Are you asking because of what I told you?”

He nods. “Yeah. Just wanted to make sure that you’re doing okay.”

Your frown disappears as your face softens and you look at him in a way that you never have before. He can’t name the emotion in your eyes, but it’s enough to make it feel like his heart has just skipped a beat, like he’s a damn teenager again. It doesn’t last long and you’re breaking the moment as you giggle. Something else occurring to your inebriated brain.

“Is that why your hands are so high up on my body?” You giggle again, finding the whole thing very amusing. One of your hands covers the one that’s resting on your waist and you move it down until he’s cupping your ass, your bottom lip caught in your teeth. “You know I don’t mind it when you touch me in less than gentlemanly ways.”

He huffs a laugh and moves his hand off of your ass, bringing it to rest on your thigh instead. He can already see where your mind is headed, but he’s still focused on being a gentleman and not overstepping. Especially with the state that you’re currently in.

“I know, but I don’t want to overstep and make you uncomfortable, sweetheart,” he tells you.

“You’re not making me uncomfortable,” you reply. You lean in and rub your nose against his. “I want you, Brucie.”

He hums. “I think we should have some lunch first,” he suggests. As much as he loves taking you to his bed and drawing every sweet noise of you that he can, whenever he can, he wants to sober you up first. It’s no fun if you’re too drunk to properly enjoy yourself. Not to mention that he doesn't want to take advantage of your current state.

There’s no argument from you, your mind quickly switching away from thoughts of sex to thoughts of what the chef might be serving for lunch. He helps you up and, with a hand on your waist, he keeps you close to him as you both head inside.

Lunch certainly helped with sobering you up. It helps that the chef had made your favourite, per Bruce’s request. You are no longer as giggly as before and Bruce is no longer worried about you potentially falling overboard. Not that he was going to let you get anywhere close to the edge of the yacht to let that happen anyway, but it’s better not to tempt things.

Neither of you have any interest in returning outside to the lounge in the sun. For the time being at least. Instead you are more than content to stay inside, enjoying the air conditioning, while you’re laying on top of him. His fingers resting on the back of your neck, while he kisses you soft and slowly.

He love this. Being lazy and indulging in you. No rush to do anything and not having to worry about the next problem on his never ending list of problems. At least for the moment.

To think that there was once a time where he had thought he would go crazy if he wasn’t working on his next project or case file. From the moment that he laid eyes on you at that charity event, you have changed a lot of things for him.

Bruce’s free hand trails down your body, mapping out all of your curves, before finally coming to rest on your ass; which he gives a squeeze. You gasp and give him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue inside of your mouth. Moaning into the kiss, your hand fists his shirt while you start to grind against him, making him twitch inside of his shorts. You definitely feel it because your grinding grows more insistent, making him grow hard.

“Fuck,” he groans against your mouth. He gives your ass another squeeze in retaliation, as well as a light slap that has you gasping again. Letting you know that two can play at that game. It does nothing to discourage you. If anything, you only grow bolder as you take hold of his hand and slip into your bikini, letting him feel just how aroused you are from him. He groans again.

Bruce shouldn’t reward you. He really shouldn’t. It will just cause you to think that you can get away with this again, in the future. At the same time, he can’t help himself. He does so love to spoil you and you deserve to be spoiled. He presses his fingers up against your engorged clit, enjoying the stutter in your breathing. He plays with you for a moment, drawing soft, breathy noises from you, before finally pushing his fingers inside; loving the way your mouth drops open in a perfect ‘O’ shape.

He has half a mind to finish you off right here, right now, but he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. It serves as a reminder that the two of you aren’t completely alone on the yacht. You whine when he pulls his hand out of your bikini.

“How about we move this to the cabin?” he suggests.

“And if I want to stay and do it here instead?” You bring his slick covered fingers up to your lips and, one by one, start to suck them clean. The sight is almost enough to make him reconsider, but then he hears the clatter of plates and glasses.

“As much as I would love to–” he gestures with his head toward the open door– “I prefer being the only person knowing what you look like when you’re riding me.”

You consider what he has said for a moment before nodding, deciding that he’s right. “Okay,” you agree with him. “And then we can have a copious amount of chocolate?”

He laughs softly. Your sweet tooth is almost as bad as his own. Bruce sits up, getting you to wrap your legs around his hips before standing up. You giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck and he rubs his nose against yours. “How about both at the same time?”

#bruce wayne x reader #batman x reader #bruce wayne x you #batman x you #bruce wayne x fem!reader #batman x fem!reader #batman imagine #bruce wayne imagine #dc x reader #x reader

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pookalicious-hq · 2 days ago

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pt.1 - first glance... miya atsumu x reader

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˚₊‎‧♡‧₊˚part of the all japan youth summer games crossover event! synopsis: atsumu realizes love at first sight is a real thing when he falls victim to it himself. tags/tws: crossover au, insta stalker atsumu, swearing, fighting, love at first sight, jjk!mma!reader word count: 2.6k

He wasn’t someone who believed in ‘love at first sight.’ The whole idea seemed ridiculous—how could anyone genuinely fall for someone without even knowing them? To Miya Atsumu, that was just dumb. Obsession, maybe. Fascination, sure. But love? Never.

At least, that’s what he used to think.

Now, he’s standing across the street, eyes locked on you. The late afternoon sun casts a golden glow over the street, reflecting off the glass windows behind you. He didn’t mean to stare, but something about the way you move—quick, sharp, with the kind of confidence that suggests you’ve done this a thousand times before—freezes him in place. The air feels heavy, the distant hum of traffic blurring around him.

He notices it immediately—the way your body tenses, the subtle shift in your stance as you speak to the guy. The (probably natural) blond with the cocky grin who’s crowding you, his voice low but just audible enough to grate on Atsumu’s nerves from across the street. The way his hand inches too close to your arm makes Atsumu’s jaw tighten.

His legs were carrying him across the pavement, the scuff of his shoes on the concrete loud in his ears. He can feel the heat rising in his chest—righteous, determined—as he prepares to step in. The guy looks like the type to push boundaries and Atsumu figures it wouldn’t take much to ‘accidentally’ knock him over.

But just as he’s ready to intervene, you move.

A blur of motion.

Before Atsumu can even register what’s happening, you twist the guy’s arm in one fluid motion. The soft crack of joints bending the wrong way cuts through the air, and in the next breath, you kick his knee out from under him. He collapses with a grunt. Atsumu barely catches his breath, his heart pounding in his ears. You stand there, perfectly calm, as if you’d just brushed off a speck of dust.

Holy shit. That was the coolest thing he’d ever seen.

The shock on his face still hadn’t faded. The heroic plan he’d crafted—his chance to step in—had vanished, slipping through his fingers. He’s only about ten meters away, close enough to see the guy crumpled at your feet, but it’s the gritty scrape of his shoes against the empty sidewalk that snaps him back to reality.

Your eyes lift to meet his—sharp, guarded, with a flicker of something he can’t quite name. His chest tightens under the weight of your stare, locking him in place like he’s been frozen mid-step, teetering between awe and disbelief.

The air feels heavy between you, still and charged with something he doesn’t understand. The way you look at him—unwavering, unreadable—roots him to the spot, the silence stretching out as if the world itself is holding its breath.

Then, without a word, you turn and leave, your steps quiet against the concrete. The warmth in the air fades with you, as if the sun itself slipped below the horizon, leaving him in the sudden chill of your absence. Alone, except for the guy still groaning on the ground, Atsumu stands there—utterly breathless, the world feeling a little colder.

The next day, Atsumu can’t get you out of his head. The image of you, twisting that guy’s arm with such casual precision, loops in his mind like a broken record. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees it again—the fluidity of your movements, the snap of your opponent’s joints bending unnaturally, the sharp sound of his knee hitting the concrete, and you, standing there, completely unfazed. It’s the way you moved, like you were born to fight, like you were in complete control of everything around you.

He can’t stop thinking about how effortless it seemed. How you handled it all with cold precision, no hesitation, no drama. Nothing like the showy nonsense that always accompanies a fight in the movies. It was real, raw, and... powerful. Atsumu feels his pulse quicken again when he thinks about it.

Later that day, he finds himself telling Samu, his words tumbling out faster than he can think.

“I don’t even know who she is! She just… took down this dude like it was nothin’,” Atsumu says, still a little breathless from the memory. He laughs, but it’s half nervous, half in awe. His fingers drum against the table as he relives it again, still caught in the shock of what he saw.

Osamu, as usual, is the calm one. He doesn’t even look up from his phone as he arches an eyebrow, his voice low but knowing. “If she was able to take a guy down like that, she’s probably part of the MMA program, idiot.” He shrugs, the sound of his phone clicking like a faint echo. “Ya should just forget about it. Yer never gonna see ‘er again. Plus, she sounds way outta yer league.”

But Atsumu can’t let it go. The image of you—confident, beautiful, in control—clings to him like the sticky summer heat, relentless and inescapable. Every time he tries to focus on something else, his thoughts drift back to you. He’s distracted in class, his fingers tapping a rhythm on his desk, the soft scrape of the pen’s nib against paper matching the way his thoughts keep circling. Even when he’s practicing, he can’t shake the memory. His body moves automatically, but his mind is somewhere else, replaying that fight over and over again.

That evening, as the sun sinks lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the city streets, Atsumu decides he’s had enough of trying to ignore it.

It’s not like him to let something linger, especially not when it’s this damn interesting. He needs to know more, to understand what kind of person you are, how you move, what drives you. This isn’t just a passing curiosity—it’s gnawing at him, growing stronger by the second.

A few days later, after asking around and hitting dead ends, he finally finds it: your Instagram. His fingers tremble slightly as he types your name into the search bar. The screen flickers to life, and there you are, your feed full of clips of you fighting—every video more intense than the last.

Each one hits him like a punch to the gut, his chest tightening with a strange mix of admiration and disbelief. You fight like you were born to do it, each move smooth and sure, like you’ve done this a thousand times before. He watches, transfixed, as you take down opponent after opponent. The power in your punches, the way you anticipate every move, the way your body flows with the fight—it’s mesmerizing. The crowd in the videos roars with every takedown, but all Atsumu hears is the rush of blood in his ears, the pounding of his heart that matches the rhythm of the fights.

There’s something magnetic about it. About you. About the way you make it look so easy.

His fingers hover over the screen, pausing on a video where you’re facing off against a particularly big guy. It’s over in seconds, and Atsumu finds himself rewinding it again, then again, just to catch every movement, every shift of muscle, every flicker of determination on your face. You don’t just win—you dominate. And with every second, Atsumu feels that same spark of something unfamiliar in his chest, something that makes his stomach flutter and his head spin. It’s not just admiration. It’s something else, something deeper.

Finally, after more scrolling and more clicks, he finds the name of the gym you train at: Jujutsu Kaisen Curses. It’s a name he’s heard thrown around before, whispers of a place known for its brutal training and the toughest athletes in the country. But now that he’s seen you in action, it’s clear: this isn’t just some regular gym. It’s where people like you go to become something more.

Atsumu rubs the back of his neck, feeling suddenly out of his depth. He’s used to the world of volleyball—his world. But this? This is different. The people who fight at places like Jujutsu Kaisen Curses don’t play games. They don’t just train. They live and breathe this life.

And you, the girl who knocked that guy down like it was nothing, belong in this world—this completely different world, one that’s far removed from the shiny courts and bright lights of volleyball.

He stares at your Instagram feed again, the blue light of his phone casting shadows on his face. A strange feeling bubbles in his chest. He doesn’t know why, but for some reason, he can’t get you out of his head. Not anymore.

The buzz of excitement fills the air as Atsumu and Hinata make their way through the crowded arena, the concrete floor vibrating beneath their feet with every step. The place is packed—far more people than Atsumu expected for an MMA event. Rows upon rows of bleachers stretch out before them, a sea of faces all eager for the same thing: the fight. But for Atsumu, it’s not just any fight he’s here for.

It’s your fight.

Hinata’s voice cuts through the noise as he pulls Atsumu along, a grin plastered on his face. “Man, I didn’t realize this was such a big deal! Look at all these people! Looks like an actual pro event.”

Atsumu’s response is distracted, his eyes scanning the arena, trying to catch sight of the ring. The walls are lined with posters, some flashy, some understated, all advertising the fighters, but none of them matter. Not to him.

“Yeah,” Atsumu mutters, a hand running through his hair, his eyes flicking nervously from the crowd to the bright lights overhead. “But you know why I’m really here, right?”

Hinata shoots him a knowing look, chuckling. “Yeah, yeah. You’re here to see that girl you’ve been stalking? Are you gonna ask for her autograph?”

Atsumu’s cheeks heat up, a little embarrassed, but the thrill of anticipation still buzzes through his veins. It’s not like that... not exactly. He’s here because he has to see her in action again, to see if the fight really was as effortless as it seemed from the clips. There’s no way he’s going to let the image of her slip away. Not after everything that’s been swirling in his head.

They reach their seats, and Atsumu’s stomach does a flip. The crowd around them is growing louder as the lights dim, a ripple of excitement running through the stands. The air feels thick with tension and anticipation, the hum of murmured conversations vibrating through the stands. He takes a seat, feeling the hard plastic beneath him, but his eyes are glued to the far side of the arena, where the fighters will enter.

Hinata, practically bouncing in his seat, grins at Atsumu. “This is gonna be awesome! You’re gonna love it! I Yuji said that some of these fights get crazy.”

But Atsumu’s barely listening. His mind is focused entirely on the ring. He’s seen the posters with your name on it, your face etched into his memory from those Instagram videos. It’s surreal—he never imagined he’d actually be here, sitting in a seat, watching you live.

The first match starts, but Atsumu doesn’t really care. He watches, but his mind is still on you. Every fight feels like a blur until the announcement comes:

“Next up, Yin from Jujutsu Kaisen Curses, second-year fighter in the Flyweights.”

Atsumu’s heart skips a beat. His fingers tighten around the edge of his seat as the lights flash, and he leans forward, every nerve in his body on alert. The crowd roars in approval as the first fighter enters the ring, but Atsumu’s gaze doesn’t stray. He’s waiting for you. He’s waiting for the moment he’s been replaying in his head since he saw you take down that guy on the street.

The buzz in the air heightens as your name is called, and the crowd’s cheers almost drown out everything else. It’s not until the spotlight falls on you, your figure emerging from the shadows, that Atsumu feels like he can finally breathe again. His eyes lock on you instantly. You’re even more striking in person, the way you carry yourself with confidence, the kind of confidence that makes everyone else in the room fall quiet in comparison. The way your presence cuts through the noise, commanding attention with each step, each movement.

Hinata leans in, his voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. “Whoa... she’s got a whole vibe about her, huh?”

Atsumu nods, his jaw tightening. He can’t look away, not even if he tried. There’s something magnetic about you—your posture, the way you move, the way your eyes scan the crowd as you make your way to the ring. It’s like you already know how this will end, and everyone around you is just watching you prove it.

Your opponent, a figure that dwarfs you, sneers as you step into the ring, but you don’t flinch. You barely acknowledge her, your focus already set. Atsumu’s heart races in his chest, his fingers tapping on the plastic of the seat in front of him as he leans forward, eyes locked on you.

The bell rings.

Without hesitation, you strike. It’s fast. So fast Atsumu almost misses it. Your body moves like liquid—graceful but lethal. The crowd erupts into cheers, but Atsumu’s only focus is you, his eyes tracing every movement. You dodge, duck, and weave with ease, your opponent’s attacks missing by mere inches. The power in your strikes is undeniable, each one landing with precision, each hit making the crowd roar even louder.

Atsumu’s pulse quickens. It’s nothing like he imagined—no flashy moves, no over-the-top theatrics. Just pure, raw skill. You’re in your element, and watching you, Atsumu realizes, this is where you belong. He’s seen good athletes before, but nothing like this. The fight, the tension, the thrill of watching someone completely dominate... it’s all new to him. And he can’t look away.

A few minutes in, the fight is already nearing its end. Your opponent is panting, and stumbling, and in the blink of an eye, you take her down, a swift kick that sends her crashing to the mat. The crowd goes wild, but Atsumu barely hears them. His chest is tight, his head buzzing with the adrenaline of watching you. You’re standing there, breath steady, not even breaking a sweat, and Atsumu’s heart skips again.

He’s been hooked. Completely.

“Holy shit! That was insane!” Hinata says, practically vibrating in his seat. Atsumu doesn’t respond immediately. He’s still watching you, still absorbing the fact that you’re standing there, victorious, and it’s like his brain hasn’t caught up to his heart yet.

The fight’s over, but for Atsumu, the moment is just beginning.

a/n: omg atsumu is such a stalker but he's just obsessed mk? there will be a part two pookies <3

taglist: no one <3 lmk if you wanna be added!

#haikyuu x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #haikyu x reader #hq x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader

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ataraxiaspainting · 1 day ago

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Body in Abyss, Heart in Paradise.

og image link

Blade x F Reader.

Word Count: 500.

*~*~*~*

Where Blade always wants to be is in your shadow.

Nothing seems real out in the light. You in your entirety is something enigmatic, foreign, something he hasn’t been a witness to in hundreds of years. Your smile and rosy cheeks remind him of a large star that is kissed by a wine-red sunset. Your hands fit so perfectly in his – a puzzle piece he lost so long ago yet found again with the help of fate.

“We’re going to miss it!”

He doesn’t leave his favorite place – somewhere just a foot or so away from your back – as you run and pull him with admittedly weak force. At least compared to a banished warrior like him. One of the palms he loves so dear holds onto a basket full of flowers and food prepared by you two and the other guides him like a puppeteer.

Blade’s eyes don’t move from the flower crown he placed on your head – its sole purpose is for its beauty to be enhanced by you and you alone.

Your hair moves back and forth in the wind. Little petals and pollen and leaves dance inside your side braid’s pockets. Instead of the scent of blood he is so used to by now, he smells your perfume.

He will make sure his source of light never dies out.

He will be the universe’s forgotten planet if it means you get all the love and glory you deserve.

“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?”

Blade’s eyes don’t leave your face.

“I always loved sunsets by beaches,” You start, sinking your bare feet into the blanket he laid out for you. You lean in and your breath nearly tickles his shoulder. Your arms caress his waist. You’re warmer than the sun. “Thank you so much for taking me.”

Blade doesn’t answer in words. You’re used to that after dating a man like him for so long – by instinct, you look into his eyes and past your reflection in them.

He’s as beautiful as he sees you – not that he would ever accept such a fact.

“Here. You should try something… You bought them with your own money after all.” With a nod, you gesture towards the charcuterie board. Most foods you picked out at the store are alien to him. Humanity and their goods evolve all the time when he has not one bit. One catches his attention more than the others.

A tiny baked good in the shape of a sun.

You don’t use your words and neither does he – within just a moment you slip the cookie between his lips.

It melts on his tongue. The texture is much softer than the war rations he remembers from long ago. The flavor is so sweet and tastes nothing like anything he has had before. You smile and giggle. Blade wishes he could have recorded such a sound on his phone – and wishes he knew how to do so in the first place. If he asks nicely, he’s certain one of the other Stellaron Hunters would teach him.

“It’s good,” He answers after a while, resting his chin above your head. “Thank you.”

Blade will continue to love you like he should have loved the sun.

#and yes i am referencing tgcf #self indulgent tuesday #blade x reader #blade hsr #hsr blade #honkai star rail x reader #honkai sr #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr #hsr fluff #aya abstractions

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acesofspadess · 10 hours ago

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my birthday boy

apart of the AG5 universe

spending Lando's birthday at the MTC didn't stop Ace

warnings: heart-melting fluff, PDA, public-speaking (gross)

November 13

The weeks leading up to this day were definitely ones to forget. No one mentioned Brazil in the cosy apartment the papaya duo walked back into a few days later. Brazil was a shit-show, and they didn’t need to bring it all back up. Ace worked relentlessly to keep Lando away from the media, and al the negativity people felt the need to share. Ace didn;t care about what they said about her, this was Lando, her Lando, and she would do just about anything for him.

Monaco wasn’t big, but she did have to travel to the other end of the principality to visit her maman. She hadn’t seen her in weeks and needed some motherly time. She was slightly worried about leaving Lando, but she made sure Max started streaming again to keep him occupied. Lando was an adult, he lived by himself up until a year ago, and even though she knew what he was like before, she had faith he would still be okay… right?

“How’s your perri perri chicken from March pal?”

Wrong. She was glad she was watching the stream. She listened to him try and justify not using food before the best use date and she just shook her head. Why did she even let him keep that?

The next morning, she and her maman went grocery shopping for their house and when she got home and Lando saw her with bags he knew he was in trouble.

“It is not a recommendation!”

They hadn’t been home in three weeks, it was mildly understandable, but March? That was entirely Lando’s doing and she knew if he liked it, it would stay there. After a few more days of relaxing, streaming, and making Lando eat properly, they had to fly to the MTC.

Now Ace loved birthdays, even if Lando didn;t want to celebrate, Ace would make him. So she made a few arrangements and after all the seriousness of the day had passed,and Ace and Lando were getting ready to 'leave’ and walking down the boulevard, a chorus of ‘happy birthday’ was being sung and Lando flipped his head to Aces who already had her phone up.

He let go of her hand to hide his very smiley face as he walked a little ahead of her. The cake had a picture of his best moments over the top of it and a 2 and 5 candle on the top middle. “Alright make a wish.” Ace called from behind her phone. He closed his eyes and paused before blowing out the candle, making everyone applaud and cheer.

“You’ll hate me for this but…” she said and Lando tried to cover her mouth but she got her words out quickly,” …you have to make a speech.” Ace egged on and he side eyed her making those who saw him laugh. “If I'm being forced to…” He looked at her again. “I just want to say thank you for an incredible year, there've been some ups and downs but we’ve gotten through them and I wouldn’t want to do it with any other people by my side. Thank you all and here's to many more papaya birthdays.” He said with hands pressed together and bowing and thanking everyone around him.

He turned to Ace and hugged her waist tightly, making her almost drop her phone. “I love you so much, baby,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too, mon cœur,” she giggled, kissing him softly.

“Come on,” she said, tugging his hand, making him look confused. “You didn’t think this was it, did you?”

He chuckled before shaking his head. “How could I ever?”

Ace’s eyes sparkled mischievously as she led him out of the MTC. The gleam of polished floors reflected the overhead lights, and the soft hum of engineers wrapping up their day added to the atmosphere. Lando walked in step with her, fingers intertwined, his curiosity piqued.

“Where are we going?” Lando’s voice had that familiar playful lilt that always made her smile.

“You’ll see,” she replied, glancing back with a grin.

The crisp autumn air greeted them as they stepped outside. Ace glanced at the silver sky slowly turning shades of lavender and gold as the sun set behind the rolling fields.

“Baby, what—” he began, but she just squeezed his hand and guided him towards the passenger side.

“Trust me,” she said, opening the door for him. Lando slid into the seat with a mixture of excitement and puzzlement.

Once they were both settled, Ace revved the engine, the sound of power humming beneath them as they took off down the winding country roads. Lando watched the scenery blur by, the anticipation building in his chest.

“Okay, you’ve got to give me a hint,” he finally said, turning to look at her.

“Nope,” she said, popping the “p”. “You’re just going to have to be patient, Mr. Norris.”

“Patience isn’t exactly my strong suit,” he joked, letting out a playful sigh.

“I know,” Ace teased, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. “But it’ll be worth it, I promise.”

“If you say so,” he said, pretending to pout. Ace laughed, reaching over to give his hand a quick squeeze.

After a few more minutes of playful banter and teasing guesses, Ace pulled into a small, cosy restaurant nestled at the edge of town. The warm glow from the windows and the scent of freshly baked bread filled the air as they stepped inside.

“Happy birthday,” she whispered as the host guided them to a table by the window, candles flickering gently.

Lando’s eyes softened. “This is perfect,” he said, reaching for her hand across the table.

“You deserve a night that’s all about you,” Ace said, her voice warm. “No engines, no track, just us.”

“And good food,” Lando added with a wink.

Their meals arrived, and soon enough, laughter and stories filled the space between them. Ace recounted a memory from one of their first races together.

“And then you said, ‘It’s just a little rain, Ace!’” she mimicked his voice, eyes bright with amusement.

Lando groaned, laughing. “I remember! I thought you were going to throw your helmet at me.”

“I almost did,” she said, leaning forward, her smile softening as she looked at him. “But you’re worth a little chaos.”

“A little?” Lando raised his eyebrows. “Try a lot. You’re competitive, remember?”

“Oh, I remember,” Ace said, narrowing her eyes playfully. “And don’t you forget it.”

They ate slowly, savouring each dish. Lando took a bite of his dessert, eyes lighting up. “This is so good,” he said, gesturing with his spoon. “You’ve really outdone yourself.”

“Only the best for you,” Ace replied, her voice a tender melody.

“You spoil me,” he said, pretending to scold her.

“Not nearly enough,” she countered, smirking.

After dinner, they made their way back to their shared apartment. The soft light of the living room lamps illuminated the space, casting a cozy glow over the photos and mementos that marked their journey together. Lando slipped off his shoes, stretching out with a contented sigh. Before he could say anything, Ace stood in front of him, holding a small, wrapped box.

“What’s this?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Open it,” she encouraged, crossing her arms and watching his expression closely.

Lando tore at the paper, revealing a set of sleek keys with a familiar horse- a Ferrari key. His mouth dropped open, and he looked up at Ace, disbelief mingling with sheer joy.

“No way,” he breathed. “Ace, you didn’t—”

“I did,” she said highly pitched in excitment. “I know how much you’ve been dreaming about it. Consider it a thank-you for every smile, every kiss, every moment.”

Lando surged forward, merging his lips with her own. “You’re incredible,” he whispered into her hair, voice thick with emotion. “This is... more than I could ever ask for.”

“You deserve it,” she said softly, brushing her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. They stayed like that for a moment, the quiet of their home holding the weight of their love.

“I can’t wait to go home now. Drive around for hours.” Lando finally said, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Of course you can’t,” Ace said, laughter bubbling up. “We’ll make a whole day of it.”

“Deal,” Lando said, his voice softening. “But first, can we just stay like this a little longer?”

“For as long as you want,” she replied, resting her head against his shoulder.

“Best birthday ever,” Lando murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple, as their world, for tonight, felt beautifully complete.

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acegiovanelli my birthday boy

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landonorris love you baby ❤️... not to sure i love all these photos😐

acegiovanelli but they're my favourite

landonorris these are the best photos in the world ❤️

fan4 i love them so much 😭

fan7 happy birthday lando!

carlossainz55 happy birthday cabrón!

maxverstappen1 Happy birthday mate!

fan8 the world is healing

#lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris x black!reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 x driver!reader #f1 imagine #lando norris #ln4 #ag5 #ace giovanelli #acesofspadess #ace writes

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theagstd · 3 days ago

Text

One Night Stand ; 10

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter ten ; wc | 3 k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

Jungkook's pov

It's quiet during the drive, but my mind is racing with thoughts. The impulsive part of me questions, 'What are you doing, Jungkook? Who is she to you? Why are you helping her? Stop wasting your time.' Meanwhile, my moral guide, reassures me that I'm doing the right thing by helping, supporting, and taking responsibility like a gentleman.

Unsure which voice to follow, I decide to go with my mind since I never trust my heart. As I enter my house, silence greets me, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. Bam doesn't greet me, so I assume he's asleep. As I walk to the kitchen for a glass of water, I reflect on the satisfaction of helping but remind myself to be aware of the consequences.

I'm involved in a situation that could be shameful if discovered. I can avoid being implicated, but I'm not sure if Y/n can handle it. I could be selfish if I listened to my impulses, but my rational side steps in, guiding me to follow my mind without involving emotions. 'Do your part, Jeon Jungkook, and good things will come,' I tell myself.

After placing the half-empty glass on the counter, I head upstairs for a shower and bed. My mind refuses to shut down, replaying thoughts about work, investments, Bam's appointments, my checkups, and Y/n. She's probably asleep, overthinking, or relieved, while I stare at the ceiling until exhaustion finally takes over after a couple of hours.

;

The morning sun hasn't risen yet, but I'm awake before my alarm, likely due to Bam's squeaks and whines. "Bammie," I call softly to my Doberman, who looks at me with his puppy eyes. It's yoga time. I believe in shaping my life purposefully. Waking up at 5 a.m., I don't reach for my phone first thing, and I advise others against it.

It's a waste of time. Statistics show 62% of people reach for their phones first thing in the morning, and 44% do so after snoozing their alarms. I'm proud not to be one of them. I put on my yoga pants, roll out the mat, and sit down with Bam on his own mat. He may not do yoga perfectly, but he enjoys mimicking my stretches and trying new positions. It's our routine, and he loves weekends because I'm around more. Our 5 a.m. yoga sessions are calming, especially with the quiet streets waiting for the sunrise.

I start with basic positions, taking deep breaths as I stretch. Bam follows with his dog stretches, making me chuckle at his antics. We continue until the morning sunlight fully brightens the day. "Good start, I'll prepare your breakfast, come Bam." After rolling up the mats and placing them against the yoga room wall, I head to the kitchen. I prepare Bam's meal of fully cooked chicken and beef, adhering to the saying 'breakfast should be eaten like a king.'

Bam's breakfast is a high-protein meal with his favorite meats; he absolutely hates fish and won't eat it, even if I offer it. I respect his preferences and avoid getting fish for him, as his likes and tastes are very important to me.

For myself, I prepare a full English breakfast: two fried eggs, caramelized bacon, toasted bread, and a slice of avocado toast with a cup of tea. This is my Saturday morning ritual, and I never skip it. I usually eat lightly during the week, but weekends start with a hearty meal to fuel the days ahead. As I toss the bacon onto the plate and wait for Bam's beef to boil, I put two slices of multigrain bread into the toaster and grill a slice of baguette for my avocado toast.

Once Bam's protein is fully cooked, I let it cool before cutting it into pieces. I wrap the remaining meat in foil for his dinner, place his food in his bowl, and add a well-done egg on the side. "Bam, sit!" He obediently sits in his spot, and I place the bowl in front of him. He waits for my command, "Come on, eat!" I pat his head and return to the kitchen as my toast is ready. I don't usually sit at the dining table; the emptiness bothers me, so I lean against the counter, watching Bam enjoy his meal while I eat mine.

Living in a mansion has its pros and cons. In hindsight, building such a large house seems wasteful since I barely use most of the rooms. There are about ten large rooms that have never been used. After finishing my toast, I clean the kitchen and take a shower. Weekends aren't free for me.

Running a business that's the second-best advertising agency in Seoul requires constant attention. Every decision and detail must be managed and organized by me, so weekends are never a day off, even though my employees are capable of handling things in my absence.

I look at the suit and shoes in my closet, ironed with no creases. It amuses me that people see me only as a CEO. I'm much more than that; I'm still a 28-year-old man who wears sweatshirts and pants when alone at home. But this side of me is not widely accepted. I put on the suit, button up, and apply my black vanilla-scented perfume, a gift from my ex-girlfriend. Despite disliking everything about her, this perfume is too good to discard.

Bam's caretaker arrives just in time before I leave for work at 8 a.m. as usual. Although workdays are Monday to Friday, my dedicated employees often work on Saturdays to avoid a Monday backlog. They don't ask for extra pay and work for about two hours. To my surprise, Y/n arrives at the same time as I do. She usually doesn't work weekends. Her style has changed; today, she's wearing an oversized sweater and skirt layered with a coat, her style is understandable even though the dress code is required, she's an exception due to her pregnancy.

She gives me a soft smile and a bow as our eyes meet. We take the same elevator, maintaining a polite distance. She looks refreshed this morning. We part ways when she reaches her floor, and the day progresses as usual.

Park Jimin has been quiet for weeks, a welcome change with no complaints or requests from him. It's a positive development. Mr. Jung and Y/n have lunch together, bonding well—a healthy sign. I didn't interact with Y/n today, and she left earlier than I did. As an employee, her work is outstanding. Her design skills have significantly improved, making her stand out among our graphic designers. She has a bright future, and I'm glad she chose to work at Jeon Industries.

Sundays always pass slower. Maybe it's the workaholic in me that can't bear spending a day doing anything besides work, but it is what it is. Everyone must admit that Sundays should be taken off the week. It's nothing but a waste of good 24 hours that could be used better. If I had the choice, I would have open working hours for Sunday too but my employees wouldn't like that and I respect their choices too. Hence, I sit on my couch, staring at the tv playing a rubbish movie that I don't understand one bit.

Bam rests his head on my lap as I run my hand over his short fur, giving him the comfort I neither have nor desire. Touch disgusts me. Cuddles and random kisses are nauseating, like a stain on a brand new white shirt—that's what a hug or kiss feels like.

Sex is different. Sex is just sex. Kissing during sex is merely a way to turn someone on, and touching is part of the act. But kissing and touching out of love? That's horrifying. People need to stop. Watching it gives me anxiety. A cuddle feels like a python wrapping around you, tightening until you can't breathe. I've never cuddled, and I never will.

Bam lifts his head from my lap, his loving eyes meeting mine. "Want something, Bam?" He lets out a soft whine, nudging his nose against my waist and making me laugh. "Bammie, walk time? Alright, stop—s-stop, Bam!" He finally stops when I mention the walk, sitting on the couch and waiting patiently for me to get up.

;

Author's pov

Monday unfolds like any other Monday. Jungkook remains in his office, immersed in the latest deal. You're feeling more at ease today, noting that the spotting has remained minimal, just a few red dots. You're hopeful that it's a sign of things finally slowing down and eventually stopping altogether. "Ms. Lee, I think you left this on my desk on Saturday,"

Beomgyu says, handing you a file you thought you'd misplaced at home. You thank him and quickly check to see if everything is in order. Fortunately, all the papers are intact, and you let out a deep breath of relief. Just then, Rosé rushes towards you, carrying a pile of multi-colored paper files. "Y/n, Hoseok's waiting for you at the cafeteria," she says hastily. "Thanks," you reply, smiling as she hurries off to avoid losing her balance.

Hoseok had plans to visit you this weekend, but you didn't want him to come over since you were still feeling down, making the usually cheerful Hoseok a bit gloomy. You take the elevator and meet him at the cafe. There he is, pouting and playing with his sugar cookie decorated with a little duck. You walk over to him, trying to suppress a smile. "Hi, Hoba—" "You canceled our plans? That's not fair. You didn't even dance with me at the business party last week."

Hoseok is teasing you, and you can't help but play along because he's so endearing. "I'm sorry, Hoba, how can I make it up to you?" you ask, sitting beside him. He sighs dramatically before pulling out a beautifully decorated cookie with cheesecake sugar icing. "Nothing, just have this. I made it." Your eyes widen in surprise. You knew Hoseok could bake, but seeing this adorable creation amazes you. "You made this for me? You drew this?!!"

you exclaim, examining the detailed icing. "Of course, it's my secret talent," he whispers, giggling and flashing his lovely smile. "Try it, tell me how it tastes," he urges, eyes sparkling with anticipation. You don't want to ruin the little masterpiece, but you can't resist his pleading.

"Let me take a picture first." You pull out your phone, snap a photo, and then take a bite. The cookie is soft, decadent, and filled with delicious strawberry jam. You close your eyes, savoring the taste, a smile spreading across your face. "How is it?" Hoseok whispers, anxious to know if his efforts have paid off. "Tell me!!!" "Hobi, this is the best thing I've eaten in months!" you declare, and Hoseok claps his hands in delight. Seeing your happiness fills him with satisfaction. "Give me that bag—I'm taking it home!!!!"

Packing up your things, you realize the office is once again empty, leaving only you and your CEO behind. After a dull weekend, today had gone surprisingly well. Work and lunch were great, and you felt a sense of contentment. Jungkook stands in your doorway, watching you pack up with a gentle smile. This time feels different; he's not just waiting for you to leave but seems to be genuinely enjoying the moment. "I'm done, Mr. Je—" you start,

but then pause as a strange sensation between your legs makes you frown. Jungkook notices your change in expression and mirrors your concern. "Y/n? Is everything fine?" he asks. "Yeah, I think so," you reply, but as you take another step, the sensation grows more alarming. "I think I need to use the washroom," you mumble, your words barely coherent. Jungkook, confused, watches as you drop your bag and rush towards the corridor.

He sets his bag down and follows you, stopping just outside the restroom door. You lean against the cabinet, not bothering to enter a stall. There's no one else around, and you know Jungkook won't intrude without permission. Taking a deep breath, you try to push away the negative thoughts flooding your mind.

You remove your coat, untuck your shirt, and pull your skirt down just enough to see. With closed eyes, you whisper to yourself, "Whatever it is, just not the same color. Anything but that." When you open your eyes, you see a darker splash of blood. Your chest tightens, and you struggle to breathe.

Your mind goes blank, filled only with anxiety. You grip the cabinet so tightly your knuckles turn white. "I'm bleeding, shit," you finally mutter. Everything seems to turn black, the walls closing in on you. You sink to your knees, curling up against the wall, tears streaming down your face. Jungkook hears your cries and rushes in. Seeing you on the floor, weeping and holding your visibly showing stomach, he understands the gravity of the situation. "Y/n—"

"I'm bleeding, Jungkook, please," you whisper. Though your voice is faint, he catches the urgency in it. He kneels beside you, noticing your struggle to breathe and realizing you're having an anxiety attack. He places his hands on your shoulders, feeling the tension. "Hey, look at me, Y/n! I want you to close your eyes and try to breathe," he urges.

You push him away, feeling suffocated and unable to catch your breath. "Y/n, look at me!" he yells, his eyes filled with concern. "You're alright, the baby is alright. Take a deep breath—"

"I can't—" you gasp. "Yes, you can. If you want the baby to be fine, you need to take a breath. Come on!" he insists. Crying, you follow his instructions, trying to calm down for the sake of the little one inside you. Slowly, you manage to steady your breathing. "We need to get you to the doctor. I'll take you," Jungkook says, his voice firm but gentle.

The drive to the hospital was a blur of sniffles, sobs, and tears. Jungkook didn't ask any questions; he knew you couldn't answer. You could barely breathe, let alone speak. He drove as fast as he could, hoping Dr. So Hee would still be available despite it being 7 PM. "Dr. So Hee? It's an emergency—" Jungkook began as soon as you entered the building, but the receptionist cut him off. "Sorry, sir, she's not accepting any appointments now."

"Inform her that Ms. Lee Y/n is the patient—" "Sir, it's not possible—" "God damn—" "Y/n?" Dr. So Hee appeared behind the two of you, bag in hand, ready to leave. The moment you met her eyes, you broke down. She saw the distress and immediately understood. "I'll take them. Ms. Lee, come with me." You followed Dr. So Hee, leaving Jungkook to handle the payment. Once inside her office, you took a seat, your body trembling. "What's the matter, Y/n?"

"Dr., I'm bleeding—I have no idea what happened. I was fine over the weekend, but now I'm bleeding," you said, voice shaky. "Is it spotting?" "No, it's more than that," you replied, just as Jungkook knocked and poked his head in. "May I come in?" he asked. Dr. So Hee nodded, allowing him to enter and sit beside you. "Is it more like a puddle or like a period?"

Dr. So Hee asked. "A puddle," you said, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. Your crying had stopped, but you kept sniffing and fidgeting.

Dr. So Hee sighed. "I can't do an examination right now, but I have a few questions. May I ask them?" You nodded. "do you have hormonal imbalance? have you dealt with it during your teens? or maybe you've smoked or are a heavy drinker?" You met her eyes, hesitant to respond with Jungkook beside you. "I was a heavy drinker and smoker for about three years. I stopped smoking, but I occasionally drink. and yes, i've dealt with hormonal imbalance, still do."

"since you were unaware of your pregnancy, did you consume alcohol?" You closed your eyes, feeling ashamed. "I did drink a few times before I knew I was pregnant." Dr. So Hee nodded while Jungkook maintained a poker face, though clearly surprised.

"I need you to visit me tomorrow at 10:30 AM. I will do a full examination. For now, don't take any pills, drink plenty of water, and stay with a parent or friend. You shouldn't be alone tonight considering your panicking state."

You nodded, and Jungkook did too. "Meet me tomorrow, Y/n, and please take care." Walking back to Jungkook's car, you stood in front of it, breathing in the open air. Jungkook hesitated but finally asked, "Are you okay?" Looking down, you felt the tears welling up again. "You think I'll be okay?" He licked his lips, unsure of what to say. "You've got someone at home, right?" When you didn't respond, he frowned. "Wait, you live alone?"

Avoiding his gaze, you felt your temper rising. "I'll do what I want." He gasped, realizing the implications. "Does your mom know about this?" Closing your eyes, you bit your inner cheek. Jungkook stepped closer, his concern turning to frustration. "What do you think you're doing with your mom knowing nothing? Do you have any idea about the consequen—"

"I'm a big girl, Jungkook. I know exactly what I'm doing, and none of it matters to you!" you snapped, meeting his eyes with a furious glare. "Does anyone know about this? Or is it just me?" "Jungkook, stop getting into my business. You helped me, thank you. That's it. I didn't ask for help, so don't involve yourself in this mess," you said, stepping closer,

the safe distance between you almost gone. "I've been in this mess since day one. Y/n, you're not doing the right thing by keeping things to yourself. You need to be with someone tonight—" "I can manage on my own!" you shouted, furious at his condescending tone. The distance between you vanished, your faces inches apart.

"You can't!" "Yes, I can!"

"That's it. You're coming with me!"

"Drink up," he muttered, holding a glass of water in front of you to help prevent further choking. Jungkook had anticipated this reaction and regretted not telling you at a more suitable time, instead of during dinner when you were devouring pizza as if you hadn't eaten in days. Once you calmed down, you glared at him, and he gulped, leaving you even more confused.

"Is this a prank?" you asked, and he rolled his eyes. "When have I ever pranked you?" "So, you're telling me I'm going with you on a business trip to France?" Your voice rose sharply in pitch and volume. Jungkook wasn't entirely confident about this decision. He had planned for you to stay home, believing nothing could go wrong.

But everything could go wrong, especially when you least expect it. You raised an eyebrow, seeking an explanation, and he nodded, prompting you to sigh. "But why?" The speed of your speech irked him, though he didn't want to show it and risk another argument. He was exhausted and needed sleep. Jungkook slurped his noodles, trying to ease the tension, but his actions only fueled your anger.

"Jungkook, I asked you, why?" "Because I can't leave you alone." "Why not?" Your rapid-fire questions left him struggling to think clearly. He needed time to form his sentences to avoid mistakes, but you weren't giving him any.

"I don't think it's safe to leave you here alone. No one around knows about your condition, and you have strict meal times. I know you'd skip meals." He spoke in one breath, and you scowled at him. "I'm trying to consider your concerns. It's hard for me to process this."

"that's up to me and It's hard for me too, alright?" Your words came out faster, laced with sarcasm, making communication even more difficult since neither of you managed your anger well. "Then take me home. It won't be hard for you anymore."

You almost stood up, but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you. Exhaling, he closed his eyes and shook his head, signaling you not to do this because he knew how hungry you were. "What?" you asked in frustration.

"Eat up." His tone was firm and authoritative. After a moment, you sat back down. His persistence in caring for you was pretty impressive, and even though it was hard to accept, you appreciated that he took responsibility for his actions. Not many men do, especially regarding pregnancy.

You sat back and stared at the now-cold pizza. He looked at it too, then at you from the corner of his eye. "Think it over. I'm not forcing you. Just let me know before Thursday." You nodded, took a bite of the pizza, and chewed thoughtfully. Jungkook felt guilty for disrupting your meal and wished he had waited until morning. 'I'm so stupid,' he thought, picking at his food before finishing it, having starved himself all day.

When he was done, he threw away the trash and drank a glass of water. He saw you crushing the pizza box after licking your fingers. 'This is unhealthy,' he thought, knowing you should have more nutritious meals. But he couldn't help but notice how much weight you had lost in the past two months.

He remembered how vibrant and cheerful you looked when he first met you—damn stress. After washing your hands, you wiped your lips and headed upstairs. "Hey, don't sleep yet. You need to take your medicines."

You nodded, climbing the stairs with Bam following, bringing a smile to your face. Jungkook felt everything was happening too fast, from learning about the pregnancy to you staying at his place. He wasn't comfortable with the sudden changes, and both of you needed time to adjust—a long time.

You felt awkward walking around, always aware that this was Jungkook's place—your boss's place. He wasn't used to having a woman in his home, so he suggested this idea, though he hadn't thought it through. On the bright side, you weren't difficult to handle. Despite frequent arguments, you were content in your own quiet world.

He went to his bedroom, checked the time, and set a reminder to give you your medicine in an hour. He took his laptop from his bag and began replying to pending emails.

"Bam, funny how we got along so well. It hasn't even been 4 days and we're friends!" you cupped his face, his eyes flapping as you held them and talked to him while he looked at your eyes with his extremely adorable pair. "Should I go with him? I don't know, isn't it weird?" you asked the dog who tilted his head, like he understands. He does this action whenever Jungkook talks to him too.

"I may be scared to stay home alone too, I won't disagree." trailing your words with a pout on your face, your eyes turned to the sound of your notifications as the phone blinked. Grabbing it you look at who texted you only to see Kayla's 56th message. You're not texting her because it's getting tougher to be in contact with her. She asks you out for parties, dinners and other events that you're not interested in and you can't really engage in that sort of activity.

It's unsafe. You don't have the courage to explain everything to her, the whole damn story. Kayla is a good friend but she's not a very close friend, you are doubtful of her reactions. Bam leaves you alone in your thought bubble, zoned out and thinking about the other people in your life. Another text popped out and you noticed that this time it was from Hoseok, the smile on your face creeped up.

[ from Hoseok ] What's up? :0

[ Y/ n ] Missing me?

[ From Hoseok ] Yes :(

[ y/n ] Oh no, bake a sugar cookie!!

Oh those sugar cookies were heaven, you think and almost salivate at the thought of them. and remembering the cutest drawings Hobi drew for you, he's the sweetest person you've ever met.

[ From Hoseok ] Who's gonna eat them? you're not here :(

[ y/n ] eat them for me you're a baby Mr Jung, I must show these texts to Mr Jeon.

[ From Hoseok ] Hey, I'm not!

[ y/n ] sure thing

[ From Hoseok ] but really, work was so dull without you

[ y/n ] I'll be back soon, okay?

[ From Hoseok ] How soon?

How soon? How am I gonna answer that question? you ask yourself, the smile on your face dropping as you leave him on seen for a few minutes to think about how you should respond to his question.

Hoseok lays on his couch, waiting in your chat until you reply to him, the pout on his face getting heavy with the minutes that pass by.

He sits upright on his sofa, staring at the screen while the television screen plays the random show of grey's anatomy that Hoseok hasn't watched ever in his life.

[ Y/n ] idkkk, soon?

your reply does not satisfy Hoseok enough, laying back on his couch he heaves a sigh as he replies to you with a :) and turns off his phone, he misses his friend a little too much. Hoseok looks at the telly and chuckles, he doesn't realise that his friend does mean a lot to him.

You place your phone on the coffee table beside you, getting on your feet and walking towards the glass door that opens to the balcony. The cold wind pulls you out, placing your hands on the railing as you look out at the clear dark blue sky, the moon having its usual soft glow but never fails to amaze you.

you're not a moon person, you're more of a sun girl, especially the sun at the beach and it's funny how you haven't been to a shore in a long time, the last time you remember was.. with your ex. you haven't been able to meet the coast the same way, it's where your ex broke up with you claiming that he's suddenly got commitment issues, so abruptly after dating you for 7 months then officially being in a relationship with you for over 3 months.

He could have at least come up with a better excuse to break up with you—maybe explain what triggered his so-called "commitment issues." But no, he chose your favorite spot in the world to drop such heartbreaking news. What a coward. You looked up at the moon, its soft glow surrounded by twinkling stars,

and all you could think about was how much you missed your mom. Her face appeared in your mind—round, pink, and full of warmth, with those dimples at the corners of her mouth that you always loved to poke with your finger. The moon reminded you so much of her face that it brought a small giggle to your lips.

There were two outdoor couches set up perfectly for stargazing, so you decided to take a seat. Stargazing wasn't something you did often, but tonight, the setting felt serene. The gentle breeze, the stillness, the way the sky glittered with golden stars blinking occasionally—it all felt so peaceful, you couldn't resist taking it in. You placed your hands on your stomach, and for the first time, you truly felt the bump beneath your palms.

It's getting more prominent now and that excites you a bit, thinking about the future. Rubbing over your shirt, you continue to stare longer as you curl up, enjoying the softness of the sofa and the coldness of the surrounding. Your apartment had no view, no balcony and no comfy chairs like the ones Jungkook owns. The longer you look at the sky, the heavier your eyelids become. It's so peaceful out here, you think.

Peace was something you hadn't felt in a long time. Since finding out about the pregnancy, everything seemed to crumble around you, so this moment felt so good, so soothing. Just as your eyes began to drift shut, a few knocks on the glass door startled you, making you flinch. You turned to see where the sound came from and spotted Jungkook standing there, curiosity etched on his face as he took in your surprised expression.

"Your pills?" he asked, his voice soft but clear. You nodded, still rubbing your eyes to wake yourself up fully, you walk inside the bedroom, locking the door. Facing him, he picks up the glass and meds that he left on the bedside table. You sit on the edge of the bed and he hands you each pills so you gulp it down with room temperature water.

It feels weird to have him babysit you like this, you want to tell him that he doesn't have to do all this but you refrain from saying so because you know that it's gonna bring up another argument, which you're not ready for. "Thank you."

you say softly once you've swallowed the 5 whole capsules, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, handing over the glass back to him. Jungkook tears his eyes from yours and brings them to your collarbones, he won't admit it but when you gulped down every sip of the water, his mind only reminded him of the way you gave head.

He's unsure why he thinks of that night, it's the horniness in him. 'Maybe I should visit the club someday,' he tells himself as he nods his head and walks out of your bedroom. You do your skincare and then slip inside the sheets, the softness of the covers brings a warm smile on your face, letting you into slumber after a few minutes

Morning arrives quicker than you expected. Jungkook is already up, buttoning his inner waistcoat as he heads downstairs. The aroma of breakfast fills the air, prepared by Maya. He spots you sitting on the lobby couch, looking refreshed in a sweatshirt and checkered pants, focused on your laptop with Bam curled up beside you.

He directly walks into the kitchen, taking out the morning pills that you've got taken as prescribed. Placing them on the coffee table, you look up at him and meet his eyes, looking grumpy as always in the mornings. "Take them after you have your breakfast." He turns to leave but you immediately stop him. "Jungkook-"

you see him facing you with a blank look on his face, you walk closer to him, looking around as you check on his staff, not wanting them to hear you when you ask him the next few words. He raises his eyebrow, wanting to know why exactly you stopped him from leaving the house. Licking your lips, not very sure how to say it without sounding stupid, but you've given it a thought and it's a valid contemplation.

"Wouldn't your workers find it weird if you book two tickets?" This question makes him tilt his head, not exactly understanding what you're asking him, you heave a sigh and look at the ground then around checking for the staff. "The business trip?" you whisper, he then realises what you meant and pushes his head back with a chuckle.

Slipping his hands inside his pockets, he speaks. "Don't worry about that, I have my ways." he lets you know, walking out of the house, leaving you confused. you had more questions to ask him, he just left, not giving you a few seconds to ask him more. Rolling your eyes, you sat back down and began to start working from home, online. It's no different from working in the office, just the change of place and there's no people around here. So it's rather dull and boring, especially without Hoseok and Rosè around.

Maybe even Park Jimin, his taunts and conceited words were maddening yet it was some quality drama, now here you are alone just the way it always was. Except it's Jungkook's place and it just feels more peaceful and somehow a new place to be in, so it keeps you going. Occasionally taking a break to rub and pet Bam, it helps you to be focused.

While you work on your project, Bam either sleeps beside you or has his head on your lap. You both have bonded well, it feels nice and you don't feel very lonely too, you've not only got your baby but the pup too so you're happy. More than happy.

Jungkook officially announced that you're working from home due to personal reasons, and that you won't be back to office for months, he didn't specify how many months because he didn't think it was important for anyone to know, besides he himself isn't aware of it, it's pregnancy so..

he's a bit clueless with the months. Hoseok, Rosè and Jimin were of course left speechless. Firstly, Hoseok was aware of this, you told him but he assumed it could be some silly joke as you like to pull his leg a bit but he didn't expect it to be official, coming from Mr Jeon's mouth.

Jimin was disappointed, he isn't gonna have anyone for the next few months to tease and taunt, he enjoyed doing it all especially with your reactions, it made him want to continue more. "Did she inform you, like the reason?" Rosè questioned Hoseok as the two of them walked back to their work space. He shaked his head, letting her know that he wasn't told about it all, not even the period of online working.

"She didn't say much, just that she wouldn't be back anytime soon. It seemed like she wasn't sure herself," he muttered to the woman beside him, who nodded in understanding. Rosé wasn't particularly close to you—you were more colleagues than friends—so she didn't mind too much. But she could clearly see the impact of the news on Hoseok's face.

It drained his bright, happy aura more than it did yesterday. Looks like she's got some very important business to handle, anyway wanna have lunch with me later?" Rosè invited him, looking for any approval on his face but he declined her offer. "Thanks Rosè, I'm skipping lunch today." She hummed as a response to his words and walked away with a pat on his shoulder, her black heels clicking on the floor which got Jimin's attention. "I could join you for lunch."

The man spoke, placing his hands inside his linen black work pants as he cocks his eyebrow, waiting for her reply. Rosè looked at his eyes, those eyes that had a haughty gaze a few days back were slightly soft, even though his straight posture and smug smile hasn't altered one bit. Rosè noticed the change in his tone even so, it wasn't patronising as it was before, he had a sense of genuineness. She heaved a breath and rolled her eyes, walking past him while saying the words, "Sure thing, Park."

This left him, licking his bottom lip, seconds later biting into it to stop himself from smiling his honest grin, he's got to put up his guard, can't possibly break down his smug character for a woman. That too, an intimidating woman like Rosè. He walked back to his workspace, to get done with his work. Pushing away the interaction he just had from his mind so he can concentrate and get this done fast.

"Mr Jeon, you asked for me?" Baekhyun, the executive assistant walks inside the cabin after Jeon phoned him to be up at his office. Jungkook paused his typing and looked up at the man who stood in front of him with his hands tied to the back, bowing in respect. "I need you to confirm my attendance for Mr Lim's business trip." "May I begin with the process, Mr Jeon?"

"Sure, two business seat tickets for both departure and arrival, with full board services and arrangements for the best hotel for two executive suites."Baekhyun looked uncertain, his forehead creased and he was waiting for his boss to say that he's mistaken and that he just wants one. Jungkook noticed that the man hadn't moved still so he looked up to see his face,

raising his eyebrow in gesture to ask why he's still here. "Mr Jeon, are you sure about two flight tickets and two suites?" "Of course, is there a problem, Mr Byung?" "N-no Mr Jeon. I will make the arrangements." He bowed and left the next instance, leaving Jungkook to think a bit about it. He's never travelled with a plus one, he travels alone and a few of his important staff individuals. This time he chooses to not take them except his personal assistant, Min Sana who was replaced by his previous secretary Mina.

His staff usually comes by economy class to manage travel member expenses and it's been this process for years now. But it leaves him questioning how effortlessly he spoke about booking for two, obviously making his staff to assume.

Yet he chooses to push it away, claiming that they don't have any right to question him or doubt his decisions. While checking on his investments, he receives a text message from whom he least expected.

[ From unknown ] kook, yoongi here. changed my phone number. Where do you stay now?

Jungkook immediately grabbed his phone and stared at the name that the text mentioned. "Yoongi?" whispering to himself, he was about to click on the notification so it opens up to the chat but he stops himself. Placing back the phone on his office desk and taking the time to think.

"Why would he text me now? After almost 2 years?" he asks himself but has no answer to any of his questions unless the man himself answers. Jungkook refrained from replying to his text, and decided to let the man wait just the way he made Jungkook wait for months. He then looked back at his papers,

even though his mind was a bit fuzzy after that unforeseen text message he still continues to work with his mental gears not fully in the right pace.

Just when he's signing for the agreements, his screen flickers again. He can feel himself getting huffy as he tries to ignore the notification he received, assuming it's the 30 year old man again, until he takes a glance at the name. his heart hopes it's a message from unknown but his mind says to be it from someone else and it was another person. It was you.

[ From Ms Lee ] Jungkook? I need your help Is this salt or sugar? <picture attached*>

Jungkook looks at the picture you've sent him and widens his eyes in disbelief. The longer he looks, the more baffled his face looks as he can't stop thinking how stupid you are.

[ From Jungkook ] Just taste it. Are you stupid?

[ y/n ] I'm not stupid! None of the spices are named and they look the same. It's much more stupid

Jungkook sniggers at your texts, he can't believe that you're thinking so hard about salt and sugar. He doesn't want you to ask him about these simple items, he wants you to consider the place as your home too for the moment and the next few months. You're being considerate and he's thankful that you are but he can't stop smiling at how stupid it still seems to be.

[ From Jungkook ] Why do you want it?

[ y/n ] uh... well can I use the stuff from the kitchen

[ From Jungkook ] sure

You looked at his text, 'Sure.' Appears and then you pull out the rest of the items you needed. You were in desperate need of trying caramelised bananas. The youtube short that you watched a few minutes ago, triggered your craving system and so you soon hopped off your couch to get downstairs to make the easy dessert.

However, when you walked inside his jet black kitchen that welcomed you with the hint of gold. Looking around for a while, the bananas were kept right outside in the fruit basket along with other fruits like guava, passion fruits and melon. You grabbed a bunch of yellow, ripe bananas and laid them on the counter. "Where's the sugar?" you asked yourself and opened a few doors of the cabinet, finding for the sweeteners.

The top door opened to a few of the same ceramic containers that had two seasonings, the both of them were white and it wasn't named as sugar or salt. Being a little dumb, instead of taking a bite to taste it you asked Jungkook about it. You're unsure why you were being clumsy and couldn't add more pressure to your dying brain. His replies made you roll your eyes a thousand times that you're sure, by the time you leave his place, your eyes would be stuck up in the sockets.

The process of cooking the dessert began then as you took out a small sized pan that you found inside a drawer, heating it you then melted some butter over medium heat and then added sugar. A sprinkle of cinnamon while the sugar melts with the warm butter, you slice the banana and add them into the pan, frying each side until it turns golden brown.

"You get that smell, Bam? mmm." you moaned as the aroma of the burned sugar tingles under your nose, making you more excited to try it out. Your cravings are building up, slowly, gradually and it makes you so happy that you're eating and finally acting pregnant, in a joyful way rather than sobbing about it. Placing them into a small bowl, you poke a fork into it and dump the just caramelised slices into your mouth. They were warm but you couldn't wait any longer.

Besides, it tastes the best when it's just cooked. Once done devouring it, you cleaned the pan and dishes then plopped yourself into the couch. The time showed 7;45 which means Jungkook is probably on his way home. You decided to clear the rest of your stuff in his room and arrange it all into the closet and make that room more of you, it's lovely that he gave you the most feminine room of all and let you make any changes to make you feel belonged and comfortable.

Since you arrived a few days back, you didn't feel like arranging the stuff, unsure of the whole plan but now that you've settled enough, you were super excited to add your touch in that room. Bam followed you into the room and sat on the couch while you pulled out your suitcases, you tied your shirt above your bump like it was a crop top before you began with the organising. you've been choosing your clothings from the duffel bag these few days so you took them all out and placed them inside the cream closet.

Shirts on one side, pants on one, sleepwear on another and lingerie in the drawers. "Perfect!" you whisper to yourself in happiness that it looks so organised and beautiful in the empty shelves. You also brought along a few novels and plushies that you placed on the little floating shelves while the plushies remained on the bed. The makeup pouches sat on the vanity along with the few perfumes that you own and that was all about it. You took a little twirl and admired how pleasant and adorable the room looks now.

How much you loved the colours chosen for it, the blush pink, cream and grey just combined so well, painted gorgeously and now that you've added your belongings and changed the layout of the furniture, the room looks so much like you now and even better than it ever was. Wiping off the sweat beads of your forehead you exhaled and straightened your posture. "Bam, have I done a good job?" "Of course."

you frowned as you looked at Bam seated on the couch, tilting his head. 'Bam?' you said inside your mind and then you turned around and flinched at the sight of Jungkook. "Oh shit-" placing your hand on your chest, you moved a few steps back at his sudden appearance at your doorstep.

Chuckling, you took a few breaths and looked around the room to admire it for the 20th time. Jungkook looked at you, more specifically the little bump that's on display that you totally forgot was naked with your shirt being a crop top. He frowned as he continued to stare at it, gulping at the sight of it.

Did he really do that? he thinks but his thoughts were shuffled when you looked at him, you looked down to see what he's looking at and when you realised you immediately pulled out your shirt from under your breasts.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry." whispering under your breath, Jungkook rapidly scanned the area, embarrassed at where his eyes were at. "No shit- I'm sorry." "yeah you should be, creep-" his eyebrows furrowed at word creep yet he didn't say an extra word, knowing that he was indeed being a creep so he stepped out of your room completely. "I'll be making dinner, care to join?"

"No." he rolled his eyes, his tongue clicking as he nodded his head. "Why did I even ask?" he tells himself and removes his coat, entering his bedroom to get a shower. you covered your face with your hands and groaned. "That was so awkward, Bam!"

The dog barked and ran away to his owner, leaving you all by yourself. "It's new to him too I guess." you murmured to yourself and waited until you heard his footsteps so you could help him with the cooking, you obviously joked about not joining him a while ago.

Jungkook walked downstairs, first putting Bam's dinner then taking out the utensils to prepare kimchi soup. It was easy and healthy. He picked up some fresh kimchi from a restaurant so he could get on with it. He loved cooking, it was his favourite activity of his day. Ever since he moved to seoul when he was 19, he lived alone in a small dorm that he shared with a few of his so called friends at that time.

He learnt different skills from each friend, one was cooking. It grew inside him and he still doesn't plan to get rid of it by having a chef at home. Jungkook glanced at the stairs when he heard footsteps. You walked into the kitchen leaning against the cabinet with crossed arms, now freshened up and standing in front of him in pink and black checkered pyjamas.

"Need some help?" he smirked and shaked his head, gesturing no but you weren't gonna just stand there and look at him while he cooks dinner for you. You've got a slightly bigger heart. "So, what's cooking?" "Soup, kimchi soup." Aw man you are not a huge fan of kimchi, you were craving for some savory crepes.

You pout, very evidently, you want him to know that you're not happy with the choice of dinner. He takes a glimpse of you and the way your already pouty, bottom heavy lips look when they are pouted, it only makes him want to- "what? Doesn't sound good?" he questioned you which you answered with a meh. "Let me lend a hand." "I can manage, Y/n. Too many cooks ruin the soup." "Heyy?" you placed your hand on your waist, offended by what he just said.

how badly he wants to pinch your cheeks! "Take a seat at the dining table, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." "Fine, I'll wash the dishes after. you can't say no, I'm willing to do it." He faced you, looking at your eyes with a glare. Jungkook didn't want you to help him, he's fine. you squint your eyes back at him and he gives up and leaves a sigh. "Alright."

you sneaked your way back to the dining table, he didn't notice the slippers you were wearing until he looked down to hear the sound of it. Then he noticed your feet inside two teddy bears. "What the fuck are those?"

he blurted out accidentally as he began to laugh like a mad man. You've never seen him laugh so hard, so hard that his eyes almost disappeared, wrinkles surrounded the sides of his eyes and his nose scrunched with his bunny smile on display. The sound of his laughs, echoes in the empty house and rang inside your ears but leaving all that, you were very deeply insulted by his belly laugh.

"Never seen sleepwear slippers in your life before, Mr Jeon? Too bad-" "Of course, I have, but is the salary I reward you not enough? Why have you murdered two bears under your feet?" He almost dropped the soup out of the pot while he laughed at your face, this angered you so you took off the damn slipper to show him that it's an actual footwear not two plushies. Walking back to him with one foot in the sleepwear and the other in your hand, you put it up on his face.

"Look! It's a slip on! It's not a plushy." He gets a grip on himself and stops laughing, the look on your face makes it more difficult for him to stop yet he does, he can't be cackling like a mad man anymore. "It's absolutely hilarious!" "Yeah, very funny. I'll surely laugh tomorrow Mr Jeon!" you throw it back on the floor and slip your foot inside, stomping your way to sit back down. He shakes his head, biting his lips to stop himself from acting like this.

Jungkook poured the soup into a bowl and placed it on the dining table, with two soup bowls, chopsticks and a soup spoon. He poured the soup for you, making sure you get enough of the kimchi, he wants you to have full healthy meals. You didn't stop giving him those looks and he ignored them as he should, the two of you slurping and munching on the kimchi filled the air. It tasted heavenly, the crepe cravings totally washed out of your mind and you were beginning to enjoy and devour the entire bowl of warm liquid.

"What did you make earlier today? There was a toasty smell when I entered." As soon as he stepped inside he was hit with an aroma of something sweet and nutty and was curious to what you prepared, he was sure that it was something sweet since you texted him about it but you left no trail of evidence of what you cooked and the curiosity was eating him. "Just caramelised bananas."

'Oh man that sounds so good.' He thinks to himself but nods to your answer, showing no special interest but his mind surely craves for it now that he knows. "Must've been salty."

you tilted your head and looked at his blank face, your eyebrows furrowed and you bit your insides. 'What does he think I am? 5?' you think to yourself. "Of course I used salt, it tasted very much like the ocean!" Muttering those words you loudly slurped on the soup, Jungkook enjoys doing this to you, he smiles and covers it up by poking the fermented cabbage into his mouth. You both spent the rest of the time having a quiet dinner, it was peaceful until it was time to do the dishes.

"Give me your bowl." "I'll wash them on my own, clean yours." "Jungkook, give them to me, I told you I'm doing the dishes." "So I'm letting you do it, go ahead." "Give me your damn bowl." Bam looked at Jungkook then at you and vice versa, quarrelling over dishes like 10 year olds, Bam has never witnessed such scenes before, this is the most sounds he's ever heard since birth. "Why are you acting like a child, Jungkook?"

"Me? I'm the child? you're the child here!" There he stands tall in front of you, holding his empty bowl above his head while you try your best to reach it. "Jungkook!" "y/n!" your face showed signs of anger, frustration and he wasn't any less. you scowled at him and then sulked. you just wanna help. he cooked dinner twice, he lets you stay at his place and takes good care of you. you wanna show your gratitude too, you can't do it by words but you can by your actions and it starts here. helping him with the dishes.

"please." Jungkook has never seen the 'puppy eyes' before, definitely not yours. you looked at him with your big amber eyes that shows innocence, he's never seen this side of you and it honestly scares him. that pout on your face as you whispered the please, did something to him. "I'm not falling for your stupid face!" he delicately presses you to the side to make way to wash his dish. you frowned telling yourself that you're never gonna help this man again, he can do his shit by himself, you don't have to be nice to him.

waddling your way towards the stairs he stops you so you turn to face him. "What now?" He shows the pills that lay on his palm with a glass of water in his hand, you took it from him and thanked him in a whisper before making your way back to the bedroom. "Pack your stuff, we're leaving for France tomorrow night." you hear him as he spoke loudly, sighing you placed the pills on the night stand and took out the suitcases that you stored away this evening.

just for two days, that's not a lot of clothes. muttering to yourself you pulled out 2 lounge sets that were just easy to wear plus they're comfortable and along with that a floral split thigh a-line dress that looked pretty for a dinner or whatever that requires you to dress a bit girly. shirts and sweatpants and done.

Honestly, if this was to happen a few months back you'll be screaming and crying over what you've got to pick or even buy clothes for but now you've got 0 intention to dress up, just being comfortable is all that matters. pregnancy is definitely changing a lot within you, it's quite evident. taking a seat on the bed, you switched off the chandelier and turned on the bed lamp beside you, throwing the pills into your mouth and washing them down with water then you leaned on the velvet upholstered blush pink bedhead.

playing with your fingers while you give everything a final thought. accompanying Jungkook to a business trip sounds invading, he's got his things to do and manage while you're tagging around him just cause you're pregnant? he's taking his responsibilities a bit too seriously at this point, he could drop you off at your place for the two days, it's not a big deal. Is it even the right thing to do? you ask yourself,

contemplating if the man is making the right decisions. Nothing feels normal, everything happens fast without a warning that makes you question everything. and besides all that, the man is annoying as hell. it's not like you're gonna share a room with him or any sort of that yet it feels weirdly wrong. no. totally wrong.

;

spoiler.

"what the fuck, Jung kook? I can't fucking breathe!" you gasp for air, struggling to get more breath while you're trapped in your seat and your chest continues to tighten. "Hey, calm down-"

"I can't!" "you're just panicking!!" "Jung kook please-"

next chapter ⇢

#bts #bts fanfic #jungkook #one night stand #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #theagstd #btswritersclub #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader

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