#like when i talk i'm fine (or mostly fine). the problem is just that sometimes in social situations my mind just goes blank

[mycupofrum]

In the middle

Pairings: James/Sirius, James/Sirius/Lily

Rating: Explicit

Summary: No one ever told him what it was like to meet your best friend three days after he joined you and your wife in bed.

No one ever spilled the beans about the internal crisis he'd be experiencing later.

A threesome that changed everything for them. Now James and Sirius will have to deal with the tension that arose from that night.

A/N: For @narcissa-black-supermacy who gave me this idea a while ago. This is what I came up with. :D It's mostly Prongsfoot with some Jilypad flavour. Very smutty smut. Hope you enjoy it!

Snippet under the cut.

The refrigerator hums in the corner of the kitchen as James escapes from the awkward moment he just had with Sirius in the living room.

Or, when Lily said, "I think you two should talk," before abruptly Flooing away with a roar of green flame to catch up with Mary in the Leaky Cauldron. Leaving them alone. Staring at one another. Aware of each other in a new way.

All Sirius had to do was raise his brow, a gesture he's honed to perfection over the years they've known each other.

This time it suggested what now?

James couldn’t stand it.

No one ever told him what it was like to meet your best friend three days after he joined you and your wife in bed.

No one ever spilled the beans about the internal crisis he'd be experiencing later.

"Are you all right, James?" Sirius asks, having followed James to the kitchen.

"Of course," James says, staring at the pots, pans and other dishes that need to be washed. He rolls up his sleeves, places the plug into the sink and turns on the tap. After a splash of washing up liquid, he watches the foam form as if it were one of the great wonders of the world.

"It's admirable how much you care about keeping the kitchen clean."

The dry remark makes James determined not to turn around.

Seconds pass with only the sound of running water filling the room.

"Are you avoiding me because of the other night?"

"I – no. Of course not. It's what Lily wanted. She very much enjoyed it." James turns off the tap. Fuck. He doesn't want to talk about this.

"But you didn't?" Sirius is dissecting James's problem question by question, like he always does when faced with an issue to solve.

"I didn't say that," James mutters. He picks up the sponge and begins to wash the dried up tomato sauce from the pan. It was Lily's idea to invite Sirius over for dinner that night, and they enjoyed an excellent pasta Bolognese before she mysteriously left.

"Or maybe it bothers you because you did enjoy it?"

James drops the sponge into the sink and huffs as he searches for it through the foam.

"I don't understand. Why would it bother me? Nothing bothers me. I'm perfectly fine." He finds the sponge again and starts to scrub the pan vigorously.

"You don't like the implication."

Sirius always knows exactly where James's train of thought is going, and it's times like these when James truly wishes his best friend didn't know him so well.

"There's no implication."

"Really?" Sirius's voice is softer now. "One woman and two men. There's an implication. You do the math."

"I'm not –" James says, unable to finish the sentence. He rinses the pan, sets it aside to dry, and stands stiffly, clutching the kitchen counter.

"I'm not into blokes." There, he said it. It's what he's been telling himself over and over again for the last few days. It makes sense.

"Neither am I," says Sirius, approaching James from behind.

A moment later, hands come on the counter beside James, and a warm body leans against him. Sirius's breath tickles James's neck, giving him goosebumps.

"Not much anyway," Sirius murmurs.

James's heart jumps at that.

"Not much?" he repeats, his throat dry like sand.

"Sometimes I make exceptions." Sirius speaks in a low tone that rattles something inside James.

Read more on AO3.

[quatregats]

Guys will be like I'm so normal and good at socializing and then go to social events and stand in the corner looking like the autism creature the entire time (it's me I'm guys)

[icarusinterlude]

.

[penkura]

Hi! I'm currently on my traffy brain rot-

May I request a law x Reader but reader has a tendency of always wearing headphones and/or play music on full blast because she can't stand silence too much. I mean I can't stand silence because you don't know what's in a specific space and silence just means something negative in me lmao.

Also, I listen to music mostly because I feel/express emotions more freely than without music because I find emotions hard to feel/express. It's alright if you don't add this to reader but I hope this helps somewhat explaining their love for blasting music.

Hello!! Traffy brain rot is SO REAL GOSH. It just comes randomly and sticks for months at a time good lord.

I also have headphones on most of the time, it's how I focus and sometimes is the only way I can get any work done, I hate the silence, there's always something on my TV or in my ears.

I hope you enjoy!!

Law knows when you’ve taken over his office, it’s the only time there’s ever music blasting from a radio snail or whatever little device it was you picked up on an island before. He doesn’t mind it per say, only because you have decent music tastes and it’s normally something he can tolerate, he doesn’t mind those moments when you’re both in there. He’ll usually be reviewing charts or the supplies list before your next docking, while you’d be writing up reports he’s asked for, it’s always comfortable even with music blaring as you work.

This time, your music isn’t playing out loud, you’ve got your headphones on and it makes Law wonder if something might be wrong today. You only really have your headphones on if you need to be left completely alone, even then you don’t take over his office but stay in your room or the common area, not wanting to feel like a bother towards your captain/boyfriend. He’d never call you a bother, Law loved you too much to ever think that. He doesn’t mind when you take over his office or bedroom honestly, anything for you to feel safe and comfortable, he’s willing to allow.

It only really becomes a problem when you don’t hear him speaking to you. A few times you’ve left your headphones on during crew meetings and he’s had to stop and make sure you’re listening, making you hand them over until he was done. At least it meant you weren’t in silence, not with your crewmates talking to and whispering with you. Your headphones aren’t on all the time, only when it’s too quiet, and you can’t stand the silence anymore.

And then, the other time it’s a slight problem, is when he needs to check in with you on your reports or anything else, and you don’t hear him.

“Hey, hey.” You jump when Law taps your shoulder, surprising him when you turn your head quickly, wide eyed when you know he’s done this before to get your attention. Taking your headphones off, you ask him what he needs and he points at the report on your desk. “Have you finished that yet?”

“Oh, shaking your head, you turn back to it and slip your headphones back on, “Almost, just a few more minutes, okay?”

Nodding, Law almost leaves you alone to finish, before putting his hand on yours, making you stop your music again as you give him a questioning look.

“What are you listening to?”

“Mm, it’s Uta’s new song. It’s really catchy, you wanna hear it?”

“No, I’m fine,” you shrug and go back to work, while Law puts an arm around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head, “Just making sure you are too.”

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Was having some thoughts about Steve joining Hellfire. They are as follows.

I'm thinking maybe they start him off with smaller weekly oneshots. Unbeknownst to Steve they are also still meeting for their regular other campaign, he figures that out later. That Eddie's been writing one shots for him on top of his other bonkers story he's got going and Steve is like "oh 🥺".

BUTTT! during the one shots, all the kids have their moments of being RUDE to Steve. Mike is the worst (cuz I dislike him and his fucking attitude). But everytime one of them is rude to Steve, and it's like legit mean stuff, like them calling him stupid. Things like that. Steve usually kinda gets quiet. And then, whenever the kids do that, Eddie starts making notes in his notebook. Then whoever said the mean thing, their characters die.

Like, Mike gets the worst of it cuz he's just such an ass. But Eddie's got a SYSTEM in these notes okay!!! There are straight tallys, for actually hurtful mean things, there are wiggly tallys for things he can tell are meant to be teasing but that he can tell definitely still kinda hurt Steve a bit. And then there are stars. People get stars for helping Steve along the way.

Be that helping his characters, or just helping him with his math or helping him understand something about the game when Eddie is busy or "distracted". Cuz he legit always notices when people help Steve. Most of the time it's cuz he hears Steve's genuine thank yous. Lucas, and surprisingly Erica, have the most stars, aside from El. Max gets stars sometimes just for back talking Mike's rudes comments with shit like,

"mike what does it matter? we're all about to die anyway. That sphinx is gonna fucking eat us. Who cares. Leave him alone."

Because her and El have of course been invited too. But they've been playing just a LITTLE bit longer so they know a small amount more. El only has stars because she is legit always helpful. Steve has taken to sitting between El and Erica because they're the nicest to him. Lucas usually sits across from him.

Dustin has lots of wiggly tallys cuz he just can't control his mouth sometimes. But one day Mike gets brutally killed again and starts whining about it and Steve has noticed Eddie making little notes. Has no idea what they are. Cuz he doesn't look through other people's notebooks. Thats rude.

Everyone has noticed the notes. No one has asked. They all have theories. And when Eddie is like,

"I'm trying to teach you a lesson. Not my fault you aren't smart enough to figure out what it is." And his voice has such a BITCHY tone when he says it. Because Mike had JUST been hounding Steve for missing "obvious" clues and not being smart enough to figure it out and walking into a trap.

And steve had gone red from his ears all the way down his neck, he also felt bad cuz he'd gotten El's character hurt. And then Mike had been an ass. Steve was upset. So Eddie killed Mike. And then he's whining and Eddie's about to say something else when El speaks up, looks across the table with a scowl and says,

"just be nicer! It's not hard to be nice. Steve is our friend. Be nice to him." And she rolls her eyes at Mike, puts her hand on Steve's arm and is like,

"I will be fine. Will can heal me." And Will pipes up and is like,

"yeah. I can heal her no problem." But it's El's outburst that makes Steve kind of wonder more about the notes Eddie takes.

He'd never ask, and never look. But he stays behind one day to help Eddie clean up, they have weekly games at the community center.

So Steve's staying after and helping with chairs and tables and getting books and dice and things stored away and Eddie's notebook is RIGHT THERE. Open to the page he's always scribbling on. And Steve just sort of... stops. And looks at it. And it's everyone's names with tallys and marks and stars. Erica has wiggly marks AND stars. But mostly stars. Because she helps him with his math almost every game.

Also she "accidentally" let mike get hit with an attack in the game cuz he was being rude. El's is all stars and scrawled under them in Eddie's chicken scratch is,

"She's a literal angel oh my god."

So Steve's eyes are just wandering over this page and his brow is all creased and he doesn't hear Eddie come back until he says,

"figured out what's missing yet?" In that teasing sweet little voice he uses on Steve that makes him feel a little dizzy sometimes, give him butterflies in his stomach, and his whole body jerks and he looks up and Eddie's leaning casually against the wall near the door. And Steve immediately apologizes and Eddie laughs, shakes his head, walks closer. And is like,

"It's okay Steve. But you didn't answer my question." He licks his lips, steps closer. Steve looks back to the notebook for a second and then back to Eddie.

"My names not on there?" He asks, worrying his finger into the table top next to the notebook. And Eddie is nodding.

"Yup." And Steve's like,

"The tallys are about... me?" And he's frowning. But Eddie steps a bit closer, standing next to the table now. And he smiles, all shy and soft and is like,

"yeah Steve. They're about you. Got kinda tired of all the kids talking shit about you. And to you. So I came up with a system. Anyone says anything about you being stupid, I kill them." He grins, wide like the Cheshire cat and Steve feels kinda pinned down by it. Feels kinda hot all over.

"You didn't- have to do that. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I mean I know I'm not smart." And he just shakes his head and looks at the ground and Eddie kinda slams his hand down on the table, startling him. He looks up and Eddie looks mad. Not at him. Just, mad.

"You're not though. Is the thing. I mean... you're incredibly good at strategy. I know you don't know enough about dnd yet to know this, but you've been a crucial part in winning like, the last three games." Eddie steps closer, his fingertips brushing the back of Steve's hand.

"You're not stupid. You're just smart in different ways." Eddie shrugs. Gives Steve a little lopsided smile.

"You think I'm smart?" He asks, biting his lip to stop the giddy smile that's threatening to spread. Eddie doesn't stop his smile, just lets it go, lets it dimple his cheeks and make Steve's knees weak. And he's like,

"yeah man. Just cuz some jumped up little tweens can't see it doesn't mean I can't. You're kinda hard to miss." He does bite his lip then, fingers playing with his hair, Steve knows he's trying not to hide behind it.

"I just uh-" Eddie clears his throat,

"I'm really petty. And protective. And it's ridiculous cuz you're not even mine but- I just- felt like I had to protect you. Or stick up for you. Or something? I dunno. Feels stupid now that I'm saying it out- oof!" Eddie huffs when Steve slams into him. Arms wrapped around his neck. He may or may not be crying into Eddie's hellfire shirt. But he gives Eddie a squeeze and then pulls back, looks at him, smiles and says,

"I am though." With a little shrug. And Eddie's like,

"you... are?" Confused. And Steve laughs, light and sweet and says,

"Yours. I am yours. If you'll have me. Or want me. Or- mmfph!" Steve's words end in a high pitched hum as Eddie's lips hit his. Just a firm press. His hand on Steve's cheek. He pulls back fast, pink in the cheeks.

"Sorry I just- if you let me have you, Steve. I may never let you go." He chuckles, giddy. Steve snorts, his head falling to Eddie's shoulder for a second before he looks at Eddie, cups his cheek genlty.

"Who says I want you to?" His brows jump, challenging. Eddie goes redder, down to his neck.

"Wanna try that kiss again?" Steve asks.

"God was is bad? I've never- I'm not... good. At that stuff." Eddie cringes. Steve cups both his cheeks until Eddie's wide eyes are staring at him, his cheeks a little squished.

"It wasn't bad. It was kind of perfectly you. But we can get you good at that stuff. You're a fast learner right?" Steve smirks, Eddie's eyes go impossibly wider as he nods aggressively, cheeks squishing even more.

"Yes, sir." Eddie mumbles between his squished lips. Steve nods, once and then moves forward, slowly, determined to show Eddie just how thankful he is for him. How thankful he is that Eddie sees him.

Petty.

And protective.

And Steve's.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey there sex witch! This one might be a little bit out of your wheelhouse, but I don't really have anyone else to ask 😅 and this seems mostly relevant to what you talk about.

So recently I (a very shy person for a long time) have gotten pretty active in some fandom discord communities, and I've been making a ton of friends. Which is great because I used to have social anxiety to the point where I could barely talk to people, especially online. The problem is that my new friends are all VERY horny, all the time. Which, great for them, I don't really feel the same way. They're also very interested in ERP and other varieties of e-sex and often ask if I want to join. I really don't, but it's fine that they're into that. One guy in particular is really starting to freak me out though. He's a semi-popular creator and a mod on one of the servers. He's becoming a pretty good friend of mine and I play online games with him and others a bunch. He, like the rest of the crowd, is also very horny all the time. He often makes sexual comments about me, sometimes very graphic ones. Stuff like telling me to take my clothes off IRL while on call with him or saying stuff like "I want to fuck you until you cry" or just dming me asking if I want to have sex with him. Sometimes he notices that his comments make me uncomfortable and he did reach out to sincerely apologize for it once, but he hasn't changed his behavior a whole lot.

The big thing that worries me about him is the fact that he's 28. I'm 18, just graduated high school. He knows this about me. He does a very good job of keeping his server 18+ and would never make a sexual comment about a minor, but is still comfortable doing sexual things with people ten years younger than him. Another thing is that even though I've told him I already have a boyfriend, he assumes I'm in an open relationship even though I never told him I was. My boyfriend also says this guy kinda freaks him out and that he's a little worried about me.

I know that age gaps between older people can be perfectly healthy and problems arising from them vary pretty heavily from person to person, but I'm not entirely sure if this is ok or not. This guy doesn't want to hurt anyone. Have I probably just not properly expressed my boundaries with him? It's not like he's targeting me or anything, he acts this way with basically everyone. I'm torn on what to do, he's still my friend and I like him otherwise. Should I just keep laughing it off? I am uncomfortable but I guess it's not a huge deal to me. Should I stop talking to this guy?? Help??

🐟🐟 So I can find this quickly if/when you answer it

hi 🐟🐟,

this guy fucking sucks and needs to be banned from interacting with maybe anyone until he learns what "no" means. literally every individual thing you've described him doing would be alarming in it's own, but altogether this man is a walking collection of red flags. this is not your friend and this is not a guy who cares about your boundaries or well-being; this is a man using his fandom clout to sexually harass you (and likely others). him being ten years older than you isn't even really the biggest issue here; all of this would be shithead behavior even if you were exactly the same age.

get out of there, double fish.

[quartergremlin]

Sleepover.

what would a turtle top surgery look like? we have our answer.

I spent so long designing Donnie's room and then drew. none of it.

first/previous/next

transcript:

Leo: Heeey Don! Have fun on your special date?

Donnie: Move over.

L: It's been forever since we've had a sleepover!

D: Whatever satisfies your hyperactive nesting instinct.

L: ...

D: And stops you from stealing my stuff.

Meme: Donnie after sleeping in their mask

Instagram monologue:

It's trans Donnie hours. Currently batting around questions of turtle gender, kappa sexual dimorphism, and human vs yokai gender presentation. bc in regular turtles females are flat on bottom and males have a slight concave plastron (so they can valance on top of the shell when fucking) so I made it canon that in kappa (turtle yokai within the rottmnt canon, that the turtles are sometimes referred to as even though they are mutants (so I'm assuming they're similar enough plus the origins of yokai [is] basically the same, since kappa evolved through generations where the turtles took humanization steroids and speedran their evolution)) - gets read as masculine.

/however/being top-heavy like that reads as female to humans. the turtles were mostly socialized as humans and in human culture (as much as they could ve in kind-of hiding, but now they can very much belong in yokai culture

they /are/ afab (kind of, its a bit complicated - turtle chromosomes don't work like human chromosomes and if we run under the assumption that they /did/ get a sry gene from yoshi, something something something no matter how you look at it they're some flavor of intersex), but how much of their turtits situation is coming from their turtle or human side is up in the air

PAIRED. with the opposite yokai/human gender presentation scales here, can make being! any gender kind of complicated! nevermind a trans mutant ninja turtle. so the /real/ question kind of boils down to. when considering presenting a certain gender for society, which side do the turtles put more stock in? (plus the island question)

asking that with leo was easy - he asked what Top Surgery For Turtles^tm and donnie told him that he'd be transing in the wrong direction. Since Leo's never really had a problem with his body anyway he took it at face value and he's fine. Donnie, however. is nonbinary plus transmasc. if talking it from a purely yokai standpoint, he's doing pretty good. but donnie's always put a bit too much stock in others' approval. see: the purple dragons, big mama, etc. and being nonbinary under normal circumstances is shit like. usually.

Some people just. shoot for confusion. but how do you even start when both sides are pretty certain they're right in opposite directions. anyway the concludes my Trans Donnie Hours, thank you for coming to my TEDx talk.

[strangersteddierthings]

ooo can i suggest prompt six? "Did you lie to me?" hehe

Thanks for sending a prompt, Nonny! It's my daily ficlet for today!

Daily Ficlet 6

Steve's never been a secret before. He's too likeable (or hateable) for that. He's never had to hide a relationship before because what girl wouldn't want to be with him? All his friendships are well known, or were, back when he was in high school. There weren't even secret rivalries!

So, it's an adjustment, keeping this thing with Eddie a secret. But he's trying. Even though all he wants to do is hold his hand every hour of every day he refrains because. Because?

Well, he's not really full on those details. He knows it's partially because Eddie isn't out to anyone in the group except Steve. He's not even out to Robin, and Steve thought for sure they'd figure each other out and bond over it but that hasn't happened yet. Eddie's also said something about keeping it to themselves so they can just be themselves, together, without other people. When Eddie had whispered that it had sounded so sweet and romantic. But that was, like, two months ago and it's.... it's still romantic, but Steve wants to ramble about how beautiful Eddie is to Robin.

Also! This secret keeping is causing Robin to worry! He can't keep secrets from Robin, he never has. He told Robin he thought he might like guys exactly 0.4 seconds after he'd realized it! In fact, he's so bad at secret keeping that he's told her he has a boyfriend. Won't say who, and Robin won't push. All he had to say was his boyfriend wasn't ready to come out and that was that.

He's out to the Party, too. Mostly as an accidental outing he didn't back down from even when Will offered him an out with his quick thinking. Jonathan knows, too. That was an on-purpose telling after Will came out to Steve when they were finally alone, and Steve learned Jonathan knew about Will.

Anyway. Steve's never been a secret before. He doesn't want to continue being one. He just wants Eddie's permission to tell Robin. He'll be fine with waiting even if Eddie says he's not ready for Robin to know, of course, but he just. He wants Robin to know who the amazing person he rants about is.

So, imagine his surprise when, halfway down the stairs to the basement at Eddie and Wayne's new house to talk to Eddie about telling Robin, he hears his name.

"-because it's Steve Harrington, y'know?" Gareth's voice floats up the stairs to Steve and he freezes. Is Gareth a goddman psychic!? How did he know Steve was here?

"That's your reasoning? Because it's Steve?" Eddie asks, and oh. They don't know he's here. They're talking about him. Steve should make himself known. He shouldn't just stand here and listen. But. Well, if Eddie's finally telling his friends about them, he kinda wants to hear it. Want to hear Eddie spill the secret so they can quit being so secretive.

"Well, yeah. You're the one who's always saying people don't change. Did you lie to me? To us? Has Steve changed?" That's Jeff's voice, and his questions make Steve gut twist. But Eddie's not Nancy. He's not- they aren't bullshit. Eddie knows that. He'll defend Steve. He'll tell them the truth. There's silence, though. Eddie doesn't defend him.

"What's with the silence?" Frankie asks, when Eddie's been quiet too long. Funny, Steve wanted to ask the same thing.

"I'm trying to not snap at you all," Eddie says, and he sounds angry. "I get that you guys might still be hesitant or whatever, but you don't get to come here and throw accusations when you haven't even tried to be friends with him! This is why I don't invite him to come hang out with us! 'Cause you can be a bunch of dicks sometimes!"

Steve feels a warmth bloom inside him. He knew Eddie would defend him, he did. It's just hard to believe sometimes, and he's not going to make that Eddie's problem. But hearing it. Hearing that Eddie does defend him even when he doesn't know Steve's around to hear it. Fuck, it makes him want to kiss Eddie so bad.

"Hey, man, I'm sorry," Jeff says, "you're right. We are being dicks, and pretty standoffish with Steve. We aren't giving him a fair chance."

"You're not!" Eddie agrees aggressively. "Even if he wasn't my b- my friend, he's still the reason I'm even fucking alive. So, respect that at least."

Steve stands at the midpoint of the stairs until the conversation turns to a different topic before he tiptoes back to the top of the steps to turn around and thunder down the stairs loudly, giving everyone in the basement a warning to his arrival.

He'll tell a lie, that he was driving around because he was bored and thought to stop and see what Eddie was up to, and get invited to stay and hang out. Eddie's friends are more open with him than they usually are and Steve doesn't waste the opportunity to try and really engage with them, get to know them.

He can be a secret just a little longer, he supposes, when he looks away from Jeff and catches Eddie staring at him with the same adoration he sees on Eddie's face when they're alone. And judging by the almost slip up earlier, Eddie might be getting closer to not being a secret, too.

[soapssuds]

I was wondering...Aventurine's s/o who sometimes is misgendered as a man (fem! reader)

Any thoughts? 👀

I have many thoughts about this anon, some I would definitely like to share 🤭

Let's see, to me, if you're being misgendered and Aventurine just so happens to see it, then I can see it happening in the workplace, at the casino, or on a date.

But mostly at the workplace because lets face it, the IPC haven't exactly been painting themselves as the good guys lately 😐 and I can see a few of your coworkers being this way (be it new employees who do it by accident or stubborn old ones who are just plain rude).

"You should go ask him. He knows a lot about the subject and could help out with the project."

You weren't far away from the people who were having the conversation since you all were in the same office, and since it was such a small office housing only seven or so desks, it was easy to hear every single conversation and know who was talking about who.

"Thank you, I will!"

You didn't want to turn away from your computer despite the heavy thumps of footsteps coming up behind you. Instead, you tried to ignore it and continue typing away at your report. Your eyes heavy and focused on the computer as your fingers mercilessly hit the innocent keys.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?"

You resisted the urge to groan aloud. This always happens. Mainly for two reasons. One, the stubborn fool who keeps misgendering you refuses to acknowledge that you're a woman. And two, the same stubborn fool insists to new employees of the IPC that you're a man and should be referred to as such.

And with a final tap on your shoulder, you sighed. Your feet planted on the ground as you swiveled your chair around.

"That's ma'am to you."

The new recruit was quick to fumble and bowed, "I'm sorry, ma'am! I was told that you could help me with- blah blah blah blah blah," you couldn't care about what he was saying. Not when your alarm went off, signaling your lunch break.

"Sounds interesting newbie, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch."

You didn't let the new employee get another word in as you got up and did a little stretch before walking out of the office while also being sure to ignore the smug looking bastard who waved at you while you left. Working in such a place exhausted you, and you hoped to hide your tiredness when you met up with the one person who made it all worth it. But...he noticed immediately the moment you sat down in his comfy couch in his own personal office.

He was already beside you when you sat down, and instead of grabbing his own food, his mesmerizing eyes bore into you.

"What's wrong?"

His voice always sounded tender when he talked with you, especially when he knows you've been having a bad day. He doesn't use his condescending voice or the voice he finely tunes to get people to like him. He is just ... being himself. Granted it's behind closed doors, but you were thankful that he didn't wear his bluff around you.

"It's...," to be honest, you've been dealing with this coworker for a long whilen now, and even though it's hurts being called something you're not, you thought you could handle it yourself. Though, lately, it's just been getting harder, "it's just this coworker of mine. He ... he keeps misgendering me. I know it sounds stupid and that I'm probably just being too sensitive but..."

"Name."

"Huh?"

"The name, give me the name of this coworker of yours," Aventurine said smoothly as he leaned into you, his arm slung around your shoulders as his fingers lightly twirled a strand of your hair between his fingertips. His warmth immediately engulfed you into a comforting embrace that you couldn't help but lean into. Despite being such a calculating person, he always had a way of disarming you and making you feel safe.

"Aven... it's nothing. I just, I just need to vent a little is all."

"Venting is great and all, but that doesn't solve the problem. Besides, who told you that you're being too sensitive anyway? Being hurt over something isn't something to be ashamed of. So, the name. Give it to me, and i can make it all better. Promise."

His tone held that usually lilt in his voice that scratched your ears just right. Honestly, he could be telling you the nightmares within a black hole, and you would be putty in his hands.

And so, with little resistance, you relinquished the name of the stubborn coworker who keeps giving you trouble. Granted, you did worry that you were getting special privileges since your boyfriend was in a higher station than you, but don't worry about that. You are Aventurine's significant other after all, there is nothing wrong with relying on him every once and awhile. ;)

[olderthannetfic]

Sending this to you specifically because I feel like you're the only normal brained person about this series.

I read Captive Prince a couple of years ago and liked it fine, as someone who doesn't have a strong preference for or against m/m and therefore isn't well-versed enough in its clichés to notice whether it reads like something full of cliché fanfic tropes. I really liked the use of language, some of the historical/political stuff, some of the ways that the characters are made complicated or unreliable.

The problem is, I've since coincidentally read most of the books that were Pacat's inspiration and. Well. Like 80-90% of the stuff in there has direct parallels in one of those. I'm not sure if there are more than three original thoughts in there.

I am not joking, if you read 1. The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolò by Dorothy Dunnett; 2. The Nightrunner series by Lynn Flewelling and 3. The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, you will find that some of the scenes were ripped off beat for beat, many jokes were taken and just lazily reworded, a lot of the character beats and arcs are at best a mashup of 2 or maximum 3 things from those books with the serial numbers filed off really poorly. There's a scene where some characters discover a suicide victim whose structure and descriptions are completely ripped off from another series, except Pacat fails to see what made the original scene so impactful. A lot of the pretty use of language is also directly copied from those, including some really really specific descriptors. It's so blatant!

And I don't see how people are okay with this! I know people who are fans of several of these works and they're totally cool with it! And honestly if it were some rando's unpublished original project I'd be cool with it too, but as a published beloved worldwide phenomenon with rabid fans? C'mon.

And another thing is, all of the other series mentioned above are balls to the wall insane. She just... she just made it bland. She took off most of the edge and reshuffled the elements into a fairly straightforward MLM love story with some light kink thrown in. It's not a BAD series, but I feel like I'm disappointed that someone read all my favourite books and THAT was their takeaway?

--

I started reading, got to the name of the series and burst out laughing.

And, wow, you brought up something totally new that I hadn't thought about! I'm impressed. Genuinely. Usually, I rant about all the reasons I hate the series while debunking the standard anti talking points.

--

I've read the Vampire Chronicles, but that was in the 90s and I read Captive Prince in like 2016 or after. I had zero recollection of common points. I haven't read The Lymond Chronicles despite years of hurt/comfort fans bugging me to do so, and I think I got like a chapter into the Nightrunner series before getting distracted...

The reason I found Captive Prince annoying and derivative is that it also reads exactly like the original m/m that was available when it was first being written, most notably the work of P.L. Nunn who was extremely famous for horny fan art but who also wrote some original m/m fantasy novels. The scene where they finally bone reminds me heavily of the one from... uh... what's the P.L. Nunn one where the prince creeps on that archer dude and he gets raped because of course and then the prince has to be ~patient~ and it's peak boring 2000s rape recovery tropes?

The rape backstory is not only lifted from Fushigi Yuugi (the author's fandom at the time) but is shared with basically 100% of original m/m from that era. It's sometimes the uncle, sometimes the stepfather. One single time that I can think of, it was the foster brother, but mostly it's that "funny uncle" type. Unless it's gang rape from a bad Gundam Wing fic. That was also everywhere.

Once somebody told me the author had previously shipped Tamahome/Nakago, I realized that they'd taken what would be a kind of unusual anime ship and made it a thousand times more boring by dumbing down the scary, tall general with the tragic backstory into an uke-appropriate waif.

So I guess what I'm saying is that there may be some inspiration you aren't familiar with, but it's the same story as what you said above: this is the blander remix.

--

As for why people are okay with this... honestly, most of the people who really adore the series whom I've talked to point to how it encapsulates the exact tropes and tone they loved in anime fic circa 2000.

As a fellow weeb, I loathed the tone of said anime fic circa 2000 and could not wait for tastes to change, so Captive Prince is a hideous blast from an unlamented past for me.

I think most people who love the series aren't familiar with its inspirations. Those that are may have consumed them quite a while ago and don't realize quite how direct the parallels are. Or, for the inspirations that aren't overtly canon m/m, the lure of it being Exactly Right may overshadow other things.

(They also mostly haven't read 90s fantasy doorstops that actually contain political intrigue, tactics and strategy. Captive Prince is a piss poor entry into this genre and should be recced for m/m, not this other stuff people constantly think is in there. None of these characters can reason their way out of a paper bag.)

More than any of that, there's a lot of love left over from when the series was a serialized original story on Livejournal in an era when we had vanishingly few original m/m works, especially long ones in a fantasy alternate world.

I think that is what gets it a pass when a new m/m novel presented as "m/m romance" or posted on one of the webnovel sites would be mocked for unoriginality. Many Captive Prince fans aren't (or weren't when they read it) all that familiar with the smorgasbord of original m/m available today. Many are unfamiliar with anime fanfic circa 2000, so this feels adjacent to the fic they've read but a little fresher... instead of like the week-old sardine tin I found it to be.

[xoxodiluc]

step up your game .ᐟ ❨ 17+ ❩

arataki itto ( genshin impact ) x female! reader

genre nsfw, oneshot

summary arataki itto, one of the troublemakers in your university, needed to pass his test in his failing subject to be able to play this year's football game. so he begged for you, the smartest girl in his class, to tutor him. you never thought it would lead to something more...

cw modern! university! au, sub! reader, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, size kink, unprotected (STAY PROTECTED!)

wc 1.4k+

notes simpy wrote this cuz i was thirsting over itto ok bye / let’s ignore the fact this was in my drafts FOR A YEAR.. i basically forgot how to write smut lol

ao3

"No."

Arataki Itto almost dropped to his knees. No? "W-What?"

"I won't tutor you."

"Why?!"

You told yourself you wouldn't get involved with the Arataki Gang who were notorious on the campus for being... well... troublemakers. Kuki Shinobu was an exception, though, because she's your best friend. And she mostly stayed out of trouble. You never knew how she joined them, it just happened.

"I just... I have a lot of stuff to do this week." You said, opening your notebook to read the lecture for today's class.

You heard Itto sighing sadly, and you almost felt bad. Almost. "You don't have time to tutor me this week? Even just for an hour?" When you didn't respond, he clasped his hands in front of you, "Please! I'll do anything! I really have to pass this subject to be able to play the upcoming game!"

Okay, you lied. You felt bad.

Shinobu sometimes drags you to one of Itto's football games, and he was a good player. It would really be a waste for the team if he doesn't get to play in his upcoming game.

...You know what?

Clicking your tongue, you nodded. "Fine. Every 8 p.m. on weekdays at starting tomorrow."

He pumped his fist up in the air, "Woo-hoo! I'll see you tomorrow... Uh..." You tilted your head. "What's your name again?"

All you have to do is to do your best in tutoring Arataki Itto and hope to God he does well in the test. So much for not wanting to be involved with the Arataki Gang.

"This is the third time I've explained this, Itto." You pinched the bridge of your nose. You've been in his dorm for almost 2 hours now, and you had to be back in your dorm by 11 p.m.

"Wait, wait!" Itto shook his head vigorously. "Just explain to me one more time and I'm sure I can understand it!"

You sighed at the pouting look he gave you and stood up to get your water bottle from the table. "So why didn't you ask Kujou Sara to tutor you instead? She's smart." You asked, and Itto shuddered at the mention of her name. "...What's wrong with Sara?"

"Are you seriously asking me that...?! She's literally the most difficult person to get along with!"

You furrowed your eyebrows, walking back to the bed. "No she's not. I get along with her."

"Hah, right. Of course, smart people get along." Rolling your eyes at his remark, you continued teaching the math problem to him. After a few more explaining, he got the problem right.

"Hey, that's correct! Good job." You flashed him a small smile, and you could've sworn his eyes twinkled with joy.

"Really?!" Without any warning, he hugged you, catching you off-guard. "I'll make sure to focus really hard so I can get all 'em right!"

You get that he was happy about it... but...

You never thought his abs would be that rock-hard. Your clothed breasts were pressed up against his clothed abs, and you felt a weird sensation in your—

Y/N! Snap out of it!

"Uhh, you there?" Itto pulled away, looking at you with a concerned look, then his eyes widened. "Oh— Oh. Sorry, it's just when I'm happy I hug... people. Like when we win games, you know? I hug my teammates and I'm sorry if I—"

"It's fine." You chuckled, and there was an awkward silence until you spoke again. "Um, let's move on."

He nodded and answered the next question. Wrong.

"No, no, it's like this..."

And before you knew it, it was already 11 p.m.

“Thank you… really! I already think I’m gonna ace this test ‘cause of you!” Itto flashed a handsome smile, “Be safe on the way to your dorm, alright?”

You returned the smile, waving at him. “I will, bye.” Itto was about to close the door but you stopped him when you heard footsteps. “Wait.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

You completely forgot someone monitors the dormitories as soon as it is 11 p.m!

Itto pulled you into his room and closed the door. You leaned back on the door in distress, “Oh, I forgot about the dorm monitor. You can’t go back to your dorm any time soon…”

“No shit.” You sighed and looked up at him.

He looks… attractive. You were so focused on tutoring him that you never realized he was this attractive.

“Y/N?”

You came back to your senses, “Hmm?”

“I said, you can stay here till the monitor is gone. They’re usually gone by 12 a.m.”

You cleared your throat, nodding, “…Yeah… yeah.”

He chuckled, “Y/N? You okay?”

You nodded once again, “I am…”

“Then… why do you keep staring at me like that?”

“…Like what?”

“Like that.”

Itto was looking at you, and you couldn’t help but gulp at the way he was gazing at you. Archons… he looked so hot. What the hell? “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You walked past him and sat on the bed. “Guess I’ll have to wait… like 30 minutes or so.”

He turned, a smile on his face, “Wanna do something fun to kill time?”

All you could think about was him fucking you senselessly, trying to keep quiet so you don’t wake the others.

“Sure. I’ll tutor you some more.”

Tutor, my ass.

You were on all fours on Itto’s bed, his dick in your mouth as he stood in front of you. You wrapped your hand around the rest of his length that you couldn’t fit into your mouth, and looked up at him. He was biting his lip, grunting quietly.

“Archons, Y/N… Who knew you could suck dick so good?”

You didn’t know how it got to this point — You were tutoring him once again, but you couldn’t focus. You kept stuttering and Itto couldn’t understand you. But then seeing his hard-on… You looked up at him and he was gazing at you…

You both couldn’t resist each other.

Choking on his cock, he gripped onto your hair, hissing, “Fuck…”

Then he pulled your head away, the string of saliva connecting your lips and the tip of his cock. You looked up at him, breathing out, “Fuck me.”

Itto was still panting, and the side of his mouth curled upwards. “Yeah? You gonna be quiet while I fuck you?”

“Mhm… Please…” You whimpered, then gasped when he pulled you up and then pushed you down onto the bed.

He kissed your neck, his hand reaching for your wet clit and rubbing it. You moaned quietly, rolling your hips against his hand then whining when his hand pulled away from you.

"J-Just the tip, first..." You whispered and bit your lip, feeling the head gliding along your clit. "It won't fi— Agh!"

Itto covered your mouth with his hand, growling quietly as he carefully thrust into you. "I'll make it fit, don't worry."

Suddenly, footsteps were heard outside the room. You looked at Itto as he covered your mouth, and your eyes widened when he moved against you. “Shh. Don’t make a sound…” He whispered as removed his hand from your mouth and kissed you.

You couldn't help but clench around him and he groaned, pushing deeper into you. You moaned through the kiss as your legs wrapped around his waist. “Mhhf… O-Oh…”

He's so big that you could feel his tip touching your cervix, hitting it with every thrust he does. He pulled away from your lips as he fucked you harder, your moans coming out as silent gasps.

"Fuck, baby..." Itto whispered, gritting his teeth. "You like that? Does it feel good?"

You could only nod your head in response, afraid to talk because you might moan too loud. He let out a breathy laugh as he continued pounding deeper into you.

Tears filled up your eyes from the pleasure and you could feel the knot on your stomach as Itto went faster. "Mm— 'm gonna...!"

"Shhh, do it for me, baby. Come on."

Your body shook as your orgasm washed over you. He grunted once more, biting into your neck softly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." And he finally pulled out, cumming on your stomach, "Fuck..."

The sight of your almost-passed-out figure on his bed almost made him hard once again, but he resisted himself. He fell next to you, letting out a contented sigh.

You closed your eyes, still panting. "I was only gonna tutor you. Not fuck you."

Itto laughed, caressing your thighs. "Too bad."

"So you're telling me you weren't at your dorm last night because you were at Itto's?" Shinobu gave you a disapproved look. You smiled sheepishly.

"...Look, it just happened, okay? What were we supposed to do while waiting for the monitor?"

Shinobu sighed. "So much for telling yourself to not get involved with the Arataki Gang."

xoxodiluc © 2023 | all rights reserved. do not claim as your own, modify, copy or repost.

[barbiesmuse]

FINE LINE. ₊˚⊹♡

;ֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָsimon riley + reader

summary: you knew it was over, in fact, it never really began. but in your heart, it was oh-so-real.

tags: introduction to a new series! there is cliffhanger smut and talk of religion but that's mostly all!

head barbie's announcements: i'm back! after a long break that was totally needed because my brain was fried!! my masterlist will be updated, this will be a series so just think of this as the backstory, anddddd that's all! kisses and hugs for u always. if this is offensive or makes anyone uncomfortable i apologize and i will take it down without a problem!! this is just an idea for a fic! if you like it maybe i'll continue! “Am I making you feel sick?”

The hate you had for Simon Riley ran deep. Before you met him you were a good girl. You went to church every Sunday, volunteered to help in youth groups, and were the Priest's daughter. It was a life filled with love, community, and toxicity. Your father had been waiting to auction you off to his favorite usher's son. Your father judged a book by its cover; unfortunately for you, that meant almost no friends.

So when a young man and his mother come to church for the first time, your father is less than thrilled. His mother was known around town, she was a sleaze. She was outgoing, boisterous, and sometimes flirty. Your father called her a jezebel, although you tried to ignore his rude comments and welcome them into the church. Simon's mother thought you were the cutest thing since Polly Pocket, although you didn't quite resemble Polly your tiny stature was often compared to her. Her son, Simon was the complete opposite. He was quiet, shy, and often never spoke. That was comforting to you, everyone in the church always had something to say, except for him. You had tried countless times to invite him to youth groups and asked him for dinner! Your father scolded you, although you didn't care what he thought of the new followers, to you they deserve all the love. Once Simon had gotten to know you more, he had liked you. You were small, and kind, and your big eyes made him groan internally. You were the perfect kind of toy for him to play with. Gullible and bashful. The more you hung around Simon the more worldly you became. Your father took notice and made sure you knew how disappointed he was. Not only did he ground and ban you from seeing your new friend, but he also forced a purity ring onto your hand. Your father was a sick man. There have been many scandals surrounding him. He simply shushed them away with money. His only way out of any bad situation. In a way, Simon reminded you of your father before the church. Loving, caring, and gentle.

You had often snuck out late at night to visit Simon. The two of you would meet up at a park called “Condamnée.” The park was a safe place for both of you. After your father had put the purity ring on you, you needed to speak to Simon. Only he could make your sweet little heart feel better. To say you felt like a sinner would be an understatement. But you couldn't help it. Simon was like a bad habit, something you kept running back to. You didn't know if it was possible to let him go, you felt like there was a strong connection between the two of you. When Simon sees the ring on your pretty finger he can't help but smirk. You looked up at him with teary eyes and he caressed your cheek gently. “You've let a silly little ring get you all worked up like this, peaches?” He would say in a condescending tone. You simply nodded with a pout. What he did next surprised you, but you couldn't ignore the wet feeling in your pink panties as he did it. He slid the ring off of your finger and took off the silver chain he wore. He slid the ring onto the chain and then clasped it around his neck. You looked at him with wide eyes and he simply chuckled. “Oh my gosh, I'm going to hell!” You said with a quiver of your lips. He chuckled and pushed you onto the bench. He bent down in front of you and kissed your ankles.

“Y'r here for a good time, not a long one peaches.” He said as he kissed up your legs. It felt wrong, it was wrong. Yet the feeling of his tongue gracing the inside of your thighs made you squirm. He looked up at you with a sinister smirk. He had his hood on so all you could see were his honey brown eyes and the skull imprint of his mask. Sick. This was sick. You tried to tell yourself to push him away, but you couldn't. He felt too good. As his tongue reached your panties he looked up at you, asking for permission. “Can I touch you, sweet girl?” He asked, you could tell he was practically praying for a yes. So of course, you gave him a soft nod. He looked up at you, the pretty little sinner in front of him. Oh, what a fucking sight.

[victorie552]

I headcannon that after 3rd Kinslaying, and especially after Elrond and Elros left them in whatever fashion, Maedhros was a total dick to Maglor.

You know how sometimes old or sick people are nice to neighbours/nurses/strangers, but are horrible to their primal caretakers? That's them.

People aren't dicks to their caretakers just to be dicks - it's because they are often frustrated with themselves or their situation and don't know how else to deal with it or they can't deal with it the usual way. It also happens because, paradoxally, they feel safe around their caretakers - you can be a dick because you know they won't leave just because of that.

And boy, did Maglor cast himself in a role of caretaker (let's not kid ourselves, he wasn't qualified, and with his own problems to boot), and BOY, did Maedhros resent him for it. He did not NEED help, he did not DESERVE help, he's not another kidnapped child MAGLOR, I'M the older brother, I should take care of YOU YOU WRECK, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU GROW UP ALREADY and leave me Nothing is EVER your fault, even when you left me to Angband as you should Why would you care now, it amounted to NOTHING before, it's WORTHLESS

And about half the time Maglor just takes it, actually likes it even. Mostly because of his guilt complex about how he deserves it, but also because Maedhros is only like this with him - he's trying his best to pretend to be fine and be a leader to few followers they have left, because they deserve better and that's the only thing he can give them now, and their brothers are all dead and would always be Too Little to act like that around them anyway. Maedhros would behave himself even around Fingon, to make him think rescuing him was worth something. So by being a dick to Maglor, Meadhros sees him as an equal, a safe haven. Maglor basks in that.

But obviously no one could just take such abuse like it's nothing, and Maglor is a Feanorian too, is prideful and stubborn, with his own laundry list of complains about Maedhros, and also unwell, and also thought of a new insult while lying awake at night and just wants to yell too. So half the time Maglor yells back and their yelling matches would bring orcs to tears, with hate and blame dripping from every word. I don't have enough imagination to picture it realistically, and actually I don't want to, it's too heartbreaking.

And sometimes, one or the other just starts crying. They don't talk about these times.

After some time, their arguments and insults are just a noise, something to repeat endlessly to the point of boredom.

By then, what actually hurts are the words that were not meant to harm.

Example 1:

Maedhros: 'did an all-night inspection of their stores cause he couldn't sleep' I found a herb you always liked to wash your hair with.

Maglor: 'doesn't remember last time he washed his hair, no less scented them'

Maglor: 'choked up' Appreciated.

Example 2:

Maedhros: 'feels like he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him' You could go with the twins, you know.

Maglor: 'doesn't want to upset Maedhros today so decides to pretend as if that was actually an option' Vanyar would probably like my singing but you know they would get mad at you for having better battle plans than them.

Maedhros: 'now KNOWS he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him'

Maedhros: 'dying inside' Of course they would.

When love hurts, it's easier to be a dick.

[beauty-and-passion]

Love Olympus: the "charming" lessons we learned from it

Hi! Are you searching for a good story, filled with creativity, care, coherence and beautiful art style? Then please, turn left and you will find something worth your time.

Here we will talk about that beautiful, terrible disaster that is Lore Olympus. Ah, it's always so nice to read a new retelling of Greek mythology and find out it's basically the same 200 stereotypes slapped together into something that's way older and staler than the original. What did my ancestor ever do to the world, to be treated like that.

But I've already talked about what a waste of potential Lore Olympus is, how pathetic the writing is and how bad the protagonists are. I've spent more than enough words commenting on why this series could've been great and came out like this.

Now there's only one thing left: to make fun of it. To draw our conclusions on the whole thing and the finale and find out what "wonderful" messages we got from it.

Don't worry: the messages are absolutely wonderful and I'm not sarcastic, not at aaaaall.

_______________________________

Planning in advance is for the weak

Don't you know how to fill your third season, after the "battle" that closed season 2? No problem! People will read you anyway, so instead of planning and moving the plot forward, waste everyone's time writing chapter after chapter of pure nothingness: your characters can have discussions so stupid, that people will question if they have been written by using ChatGPT. That will surely prove what a great writer you are!

And don't worry too much about the plot: just wait until inspiration magically falls from the sky. That's how it works, isn't it? Stories are just random events slapped together, with no planning, care or coherence whatsoever. When we write a story, we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent human beings, oh no: people are idiots, so we can just throw them the first shit that pops out of our minds and everything will be fine.

_______________________________

Coherence is for the weak

After waiting for inspiration (that somehow hasn't fallen from the sky yet, jeez I wonder why), you still don't know what to do with your plot? Easy, use one of the villains! Like the rapist guy! Now he's running for President.

Yes, we know there is a monarchy in this land, because there is a king, but it doesn't matter. The rapist is trying to be President now. President of what, you ask? It doesn't matter! Presidents exist, right? So he's trying to be one, that's all you need to know.

Will he become President? He's running from it, that's all! You don't need to know what happens after that! As we all know, stories do not have closed plot points, they're just random shit thrown around. So why care about solving a problem you just raised? Just forget it, it's not important.

Is the story supposed to take place in Olympus or, at least, in Greece? Well, what's the problem? As we all know, Europe and the US are basically the same thing, so how different can Greece and America be?

I mean: one is a huge country with many climate zones and wide areas, the other is a small, hot country mostly made of mountains and islands. One has a millennia-years-old culture that influenced the entirety of the West, the other is literally called the New World, to emphasize how young it is. Same place.

So, since they're so similar they're basically identical, just fill your Greece with American stuff and give your characters English names. Greece is notoriously full of English names. It's not like there are millions of people with similar names because parents give their own parents' names to their offspring and sometimes all siblings give their parents' names to all their children and the result is that your cousins all have the same goddamn name and you all came up with nicknames to distinguish between them.

No, that's not based on personal experience, what makes you think that.

_______________________________

The protagonist is better than anyone else

Is Zeus telling you he wants to give his child to some nymphs, because he knows won't be a good father? Well, clearly the most normal thing to do is steal his baby. No, not because you're a psychopath, but because you clearly know how to handle the baby better than some nymphs. Remember: you are the protagonist, hence you are better at everything anyone can do, especially a stupid nymph. You will care for the baby more and better than anyone else, no doubt.

Is the child you stole running around without supervision? But you took care of him! You even hired a babysitter! No, of course you didn't spend time with him, you were busy! What? It could've been better to leave the child with the nymphs as Zeus wanted, because at least they would've spent their time with the child and not hired someone else to do it? Listen, we don't work with logic here and you are the protagonist, so of course all of your decisions are perfect and should never be questioned.

Speaking of kids: is your mother telling you she had a son who died? Time for some favoritism! Your husband is the god of the dead, so death isn't a problem anymore. What? Death is supposed to be impossible to overcome? But you're the protagonist, so the mere mortals' rules do not apply to you. Death is nothing, compared to your perfection.

Oh no, you accidentally caused winter! And a genocide! But remember: you're the protagonist, so of course you're always perfect. And you didn't do it on purpose, so you're automatically innocent and people attacking you are just mean and jealous.

See? You're so perfect, you found a way to solve the problem! How? Easy, by believing in yourself ✨✨✨ And by talking (badly) about how life and death are linked. Yes, we know it's the equivalent of saying that 2+2=4, but we don't want to treat our readers like intelligent people, here. All they have to do is just revel in your perfection.

_______________________________

More villains! Because Yes!

Do you still have no idea what to do with your plot, after too many useless chapters? Easy, use the cartoonish supervillain! He will do the trick! And throw another naked woman to defeat him: it worked once, it'll work again.

Is your cartoonish supervillain actually useless? No problem, make another villain even more useless. And make him appear out of thin air for two chapters. And since readers are stupid, just tell them that he was the evil mastermind behind everything. They'll eat it up.

Oh, and President Loser is in cahoots with SuperMegaVillain now. Why? Because Yes, of course.

You don't know how to defeat SuperMegaVillain? 🧑‍🤝‍🧑Avengers Assemble🧑‍🤝‍🧑and you're done. It worked for Marvel, it'll work for your story too. I know it's settled in Greece and fertility goddesses do not have resurrection powers or whatever the fuck they're doing, but shhhhh.

_______________________________

Random justice is good

With all those villains to defeat, you forgot your story is supposed to be a retelling of the myth of Hades and Persephone? No problem, just stick a "Gaia Ex-Machina" here and let her solve the story with a power and authority she doesn't have. No one will notice the difference.

Speaking of justice: is the rapist gonna get the punishment he deserves? Sure, get this: he will fall in love with you and turn himself in. And he will get community service as punishment.

Are you saying that this isn't a real punishment? But of course it is! He turned himself in! The victim isn't allowed to expose him, nor to see him actually getting punished. All the victim can do is walk away. It's not that lack of control is a big deal for a rape victim, right? And seeing the rapist finally get punished won't give them the catharsis they need, right? And it definitely won't free them of the huge weight they carry on, because of the awful, horrible act they suffered from, right?

Of course not, so ah ah ah, the rapist gets to build places, very funny. And aside from that stupid punishment, of course he's free to walk around and, who knows?, maybe rape someone else. Wow, justice truly works well in this place! I would feel so safe to go around there!

_______________________________

Queer people are stupid too (and ghosts, sometimes)

All those villains could've been great in a story centered around Zeus? We don't work with Zeus here: we hate men, all men except for the capitalist hubby of our dreams. So Zeus is a useless piece of shit and he will keep being a useless piece of shit until the end. Also, he's not a real king anymore, because apparently democracy popped out of nowhere and everyone just rolls with it. I wonder why it too centuries to accept it all over the world...

And Hera is a lesbian now. Why? I already told you we don't work with logic here. She's a lesbian because queer people are idiots too, so thrown them a queer character and they will like it, doesn't matter if it makes zero sense.

Uh? Are you saying that asexual and aromantic people exist too? No, of course not: they're just waiting for the hot lesbian of their dreams or for the hubby that will turn them into wives and mothers.

Hence why the organization centered around celibacy closed: it was just a cover for lesbians after all! And we all know that women can only be lesbians or mothers. A woman doesn't want or feel any romantic attraction? She doesn't exist, then.

Wow people, I don't exist! I'm a ghost!

_______________________________

Feminism means gender stereotypes

As Wikipedia says, feminism is:

"... a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes."

But Wikipedia is stupid, while we won a shit ton of prizes for some reason, so we're the good authors here. And we decided that feminism means "women good, men bad". This definitely isn't a point of view based on a warping of the original concept of feminism, that focused on helping women because, since societies are patriarchal, men already have a powerful position. Hence why, feminism fought (and fights) to give women a powerful position too: to make both genders on the same plane.

But nope, this is all stupid and wrong and doing research is underrated - after all, we wrote a story entirely based on the first shit that popped into our mind, so why do research about this? Let's focus on the superficial vision of feminism and fight for women's equality, by making them lesbians or mothers.

Because sure, feminism is good, but capitalism is better. And since capitalism wants you to have kids, go home to your rich hubby and have a ton of kids you definitely won't neglect, like the child you stole or the supposed godson you never cared about and only after he's an adult "sometimes" you have a conversation with. That's how a perfect, traditional family works, after all. And we know this didn't lead to any generational trauma at aaaaall.

_______________________________

In conclusion

I don't know if you noticed the teeny tiny veil of sarcasm in my words. I know, it was so subtle, almost invisible. I made it oh-so-hard to find it, please let me know how hard it was.

But you know what? This story is over and I needed to let some sarcasm out. I am finally free to read something else, possibly (hopefully!) better.

And the next time I will approach another retelling... who am I kidding, I know I will fall for it like an idiot because that's what I do every time. They get me with something I love and once I find out it's shitty, I keep reading because I want to see how bad it is.

In this, Lore Olympus didn't disappoint: I expected something bad, I got something bad. And, sometimes, it was so bad, to make me laugh, so extra points for the stupidity: I appreciate something that makes me laugh, way more than something that makes me angry.

And, as I said in my previous posts, even something bad is useful, because it teaches you how NOT to do something.

So thank you, Lore Olympus, for being a terrible teacher. And thank you for making me appreciate the original myths even more. There's a reason why they still stand after millennials and can still capture the popular imagination, while this series will probably be forgotten in a couple years.

To you all, my readers: if you managed to reach the end of LO like me, congrats for surviving it, I hope you learned something useful about how to make better art.

But if you never approached Lore Olympus, don't do it: it's not worth the time you will lose.

Unless you want to see with your own eyes how does it look a story with zero planning and random ideas thrown everywhere. In that case, please, be my guest: read it and learn how not to write. You will learn a lot from this.

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(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[dg-outlaw]

Why No Love for Red Hood: The Hill?

I think it's all in the marketing and about what's being delivered versus what readers expected.

So I almost made this post on a reblog, but I didn't want to overwhelm that thread. Plus, I'm not sure if people get mad when someone does a long reblog on their short OG post? Anyway, the point of that post was that Issue 3 of 'Red Hood: The Hill' came out and no one's really talking about it, especially Jason/Red Hood fans.

I think the biggest problem (IMO) with this series is that someone wanted to write a story about The Hill and some new characters (which is fine), but like the 'Batman: The Hill' comic (which I think this series is sort of a sequel to), it's banking off a known character, Red Hood, to be it's selling point. "Come for the Red Hood, but stay for these other characters and their story." All fine and good, but a little deceptive when the marketing leans more toward it being a Red Hood (and new 'Outlaw' friends) story rather than one where Jason is a random guest star.

Series description:

In Gotham City’s early days, The Hill was one of Gotham City’s most dangerous neighborhoods, one that required the residents to band together to keep themselves safe when the police – and sometimes even Batman – wouldn’t. Now, as the Hill finds itself gentrifying, old habits die hard as the vigilante known only as Strike works with her team to keep the town safe—but she’s not alone. Jason Todd, one of the Hill’s newest residents, is more than happy to don the visage of Red Hood to help Strike keep his new home safe. But a new villain is emerging from the shadows. Will Red Hood, Strike and the Hill’s small militia of vigilantes be able to keep their home safe?

And this brings me back to the marketing and advertising of this series, especially versus the Batman: The Hill comic.

Obviously we can see the artistic parallels between these two covers (above). Overall, good job and nice throwback, but... there's a major difference. These two are not similar.

The first cover has "THE HILL" in bold, prominent text and Batman is in the background. This says that Batman is part of the story, but he seems secondary to whatever's going on in the foreground, which is mostly true to the story.

The second cover has "RED HOOD" prominent in the title with "The Hill" as secondary and smaller. Jason is also front and center with Batman looming behind him (who only just showed up at the end of issue 3. There's only two more issues left). The character of Strike, our new protagonist and The Hill's main hero, is down at the bottom and barely in-frame, further suggesting it's more about Jason (and maybe Batman) than The Hill or other characters. Again, clever marketing and nice design nod to the original cover, but deceptive when it comes to the series content. I don't necessarily blame the cover artist here as they might've been given a different brief on what the story was about and I get the fun throwback to the old Hill cover, but these covers are almost reversed in terms of Bat-character prominence.

In the original, Batman was more intertwined in that comic's story than Jason is in his series, which further adds to the audience letdown. If anything, this series needed to go with the coffee shop musician strategy: play a bunch of cover songs to win over the crowd and then slip in your original music (OCs) here and there. Once you have your audience hooked, go all out with your original stuff and then throw in 'Wonderwall' just for kicks and to keep them invested.

Ultimately, I think the biggest problem of this series is pacing and balance. The series needs more Jason to allow readers time to invest in the new characters, but as those new characters develop through their interactions with him THEN Jason can fade back as a partner character or just random character who comes in to help out. As it is, he's a guest star in series called, 'RED HOOD: the hill' with most of Jason's actions being 'day-in-the-life' stuff or a random action panel or two.

If anything, I think Red Hood #51 and #52 did a better job of establishing Jason as a main player, but also working alongside a new hero (Strike) and citizens of The Hill in solving a case. The covers above also display a more balanced composition and preview of what you're getting. Yes, you're reading a Red Hood comic, but there will be some other significant characters playing in this sandbox that you should care about and watch out for.

Sadly, I think the untrue message DC will take away from this series if it doesn't do well is that: (1) Jason is NOT an instant seller so let's shelf him because he couldn't carry this series (that he's barely in), and (2) readers don't like these new characters (most of which are BIPOC and/or LGBTQ), so let's ditch them and do more Batman stuff. 🤦‍♂️

And that's unfortunate because I think there's potential here had this series been executed in a better way. I see where the writer wanted to go with these new characters and they actually seem like an interesting and cozy bunch, but I feel like I'm stepping into an already established found family/friend group, but I don't really know them and I'm the outsider. So eventually I'll find a random distracted moment to quietly say bye to my friend Jason and slip out before anyone notices... like the socially awkward introvert that I am.

[lovelykil]

─Headcanons─

kyle x reader older ver.

hc; random

cw; slight nsfw ahaaaaaaaaæ

note; feeling so silly ⤵

Mostly wears sweaters to school kinda rare he wears regular shirts

I mean it is cold in south park makes sense

But whenever he doesn't wear a sweater

ohmeoww

he's tall and skinny with that slut of a whore waist

LIKE YOU CAN literally see it when he wears sorta loose regular shirts.

When you walk him to his house (you guys take turns walking each other home, and it was your turn)

You can't help but wrap your hands around his waist before he leaves to go inside.

"You looked like a cute whore today."

"huh"

"your waist," You let him go to rub his sides, he looks down at you so confused.

"It's so— you know why are so snatched?"

"And that's my cue to go inside my house, get home safe and text me when you get there. Bye." Kyle pushed you back lightly, being soo done with this conversation 😭

"But Kyle:(("

"no"

Surprisingly enough you guys sometimes text over night. Surprisingly because Kyle likes to sleep

He needs his "beauty rest"

as he puts it.

🙄

anyway nothing is good about what you send anything past 11.

giggling at his reaction because when you sent that he dropped his phone on his face from shock

after that there were many more incidents till he was to flustered to continue texting you so he finally went to bed

Not even in his sleep he could escape the horny

bro had a wet dream on accident

LMAOO

Woke up in a sweat, breathing heavy then looked down, removing the blanket off his legs

"oh god dammit." It was way to early for this.

He sighs, slowly reaching beneath his sweats.

Later when he starts getting ready for school and leavs his house to walk to the bus stop he stands by your side in the cold, with nothing said.

You took your eyes off your phone to look up at him, "you didn't answer my good morning text messages asshol-"

"I had a sex dream about us–!"

"... okay yeah good morning to you too"🧍🏾‍♀️

he just got a little nervous 😞

Ass slapping

importantly, his.

Alright hear me out pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

He will be doing anything like maybe making a snack for the both of you, washing dishes, walking, standing.. breathing

And you'll come up from behind him, rubbing your hands together right before doing the unspeakable.

He's always so surprised too 😭 also baffled

"You look soo fine right now, so does your ass."

"Y/n STOP DOING THATT."

"why"

"Because IT'S WEIRD"

You even do this when you give him a hug though you give it a light squeeze, laughing as he dies for a second

"Why would you do that"

"you have a cute behind? I don't know.":3

now you know exactly how bebe felt.

Now I don't see him NORMALLYY teasing about the stuff you say in bed but if you're doing it to him.. best know he's gonna do it back

"You're a good boy right? Can you do this problem for me pleasee" You tapped Kyle's shoulder, he put his phone down and very slowly turned to look at you with a LOOK.

"I'm a what?"

"Good boy?"

"Stop"

"Why" you put your finger down, staring at him in a confused matter. You could see his face blush a shy pink.

"Because it's weird" You raised your brow to his response, growing a grin.

"Really? Wasn't so weird last night when you were in a mess panting 'yes yes I'll be a good boy for you, please go faster. Y/n'

You recalled, bursting out laughing to his reaction which was his face turning red as a tomato, looking away.

"Awh I was just kidding you sounded so–"

"You're talking like you're innocent" He breathed, looking your way again seemingly looking like he gained some confidence to destroy you.

You immediately stopped laughing and closed your mouth as he smirked, his elbow resting on his desk with his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Hey hey–"

"Please tell me I'm your good girl, I'll be good Kyle." He reenacted, leaning back in his chair with a snicker, watching you turn into a mess.

"There's no way I said that you're lying"

"Oh you did though, you just don't wanna admit it. You sound so cute when you beg" He pulled your chair over to him with a teasing mischievous smile.

When you both have a praising kink

ANYWAYY

If you ever sleep with plushies, which there is nothing bad about it who cares I be doing the same they r so cute and cuddly

Just know he's jelly

He normally doesn't care though he'll still hold you close to him with the plushie still in your embrace it's like it's yalls child or smth

BUT there is a few times he does get slightly annoyed, he watches you hold that damn thing close to you, cuddling it sometimes even pet it

he wants that 👎🏾👎🏾

One night like late at night he had his back pressed against the wall watching you hold your stuffed animal while you scrolled some more before putting away your phone for sleep.

You yanwed, covering your mouth in the slight dark room.

"Okay I'm going to bed now, night" You rolled over to Kyle to peck his cheek before turning around, holding your stuffy close to you.

He watched you with a frown, not saying anything yet as he looked up at the ceiling wondering how a stuffed animal took his place 😞

You began to go into a light sleep, your shoulders rising slowly, Kyle tapped your shoulder growing needy.

"y/n." In a soft voice, he whispered.

You mumbled, still in between being awake and trying to sleep. "what.."

"can you turn over for me for a second sweetheart?" Maybe if he used a bitter sweet nickname that made you nervous you would turn over.

I mean he was right lmao

you slowly flipped over with your plush, opening your eyes tiredly. "yes? what ..is it kyle?" you muttered. He looked at you for a second then at your plush, scooting closer.

"I think it would be nice if.." He slowly started to take away the thing from your arms as you were half awake not really aware much.

"hm wha.."

"I took this.."

"my.. my plushie? what are.. you.." He pulled the plushie very carefully out of your hands to wiggle himself in your arms for a replacement plushie, which was just him

agghh whys he so cute

"kyle what.. are you.."

"shh it's okay baby I'm here" Once he was secure and in your arms he put his hands on your face, lightly pressing a soft kiss to your forehead then caressed your cheek slowly.

You mumbled sorta just not really caring at this point, you were tired asf but definitely kyle did NOT feel like a plushie

"where's my plushie, where'd it go..":( you whined, feeling around kyle. Your hands landed all over his face, pinching and hitting him all he did was quietly suffer.

"It had.. to go somewhere. But I'm here? Is that okay baby?" He grabbed your hand to put it down, telling you in a low hush.

You didn't say anything, staying quiet for a bit which made him very sad and regretting what he just went through to get here.

"Okay fine I'll go get your stupid stuffed animal." He huffed, starting to wiggle out.

"wait.. no..oo stay I'm so tired.. sleep now.. need.." you grabbed him back, cuddling him just like your stuffy.

oh my god how happy he was

"oh, changed your mind?"

"mmm.."

"just wanted you to hold me" He pressed another light kiss next to your nose, a little whiney and baby like the way he came off tbh

You brought your hand to his face to rub it some bit, opening your eyes despite you being so tired rn.

"ohmm.. you're so cute baby" you managed to say, even giggling. He smiled leaning to kiss you since he couldn't resist much longer. You lazily kissed back, trying your best to move with him.

"mmh, okay... sleep now.." you pulled away, shyly smiling at his doing. You hugged him tight to your body as he rested his head on your chest doing the same, smiling to himself.

That plushie didn't win tonight

"love you.. kyle you big dum..my" you petted his big hair softly.

"love you too sweetie."