#like what do u do when ur the lone survivor. what do u do when ur forced to keep living??
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like obviously if u didnt know the piece of trivia that jesse was originally supposed to be killed off in season 1 of brba, u probably wouldn't get that impression from the show since he quickly becomes the deuteragonist, but that fact still somehow feels woven into the very fabric of the show. that jesse wasnt supposed to live this long. with the reckless way he lives, the action he gets himself involved in (and eventually dragged into), the disregard he shows for his own wellbeing, u expect him to die in every episode. with every horrible thing that happens, u expect him to die. everyone around him wants him dead. it feels like an inevitability. but it never happens. jesse keeps surviving even as everyone around him dies; he lives longer than anyone, even the audience, ever could have expected. it's something simultaneously horrific and miraculous, that this character who was and is doomed continues living despite everything in the world around him trying to kill him. what's worse than dying?? surviving. what's better than dying?? surviving. that's part of what makes "el camino" so compelling even though the narrative never hides the fact that jesse will successfully escape. it's not a question of whether or not he'll escape. it's a question of what do u do when ur only choice is to keep living??
#syd squeaks#im constantly haunted and vexed by how jesse would carry on with the rest of his life after being 'terminal' for so long#like what do u do when ur the lone survivor. what do u do when ur forced to keep living??#breaking bad#el camino#jesse pinkman#having a normal one
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tot pokemon au where a lot is the same and a lot isnt and also theres pokemon
wc: 1.7k
aka i just started putting together teams for the nxx boys and my brain started choosing pokemon 50% of the time thru sheer vibes alone and the other 50% of the time the method was MAKING UP ENTIRE BACKSTORIES FOR THE POKEMON CHOSEN and then it was a domino effect from there
disclaimer: im biased towards the earlier gens cuz i didnt have the consoles to play the later games, also i mash canon into fun playdoh. did i get inspiration from the games or from the pokemon special manga or did this come to me in a vision? ur guess is as good as mine. also the detail i go into here is varied, u can see where my biases shine, LOL, anyhoo
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luke pearce
short backstory:
luke, as a kid, was a textbook "oh this kid is soooo gonna go do the gym challenge and make his way to the elite four" and together with mc that was their dream! to embark on it together through the Stellis region! but mc's parents told em to like, finish high school first at the very least and luke and mc were like fiiiiiine
then luke goes to Central for his studies and there he gets caught up with counterorganization-for-the-evil-pokemon-organization (like, if pokemon canon actually had ppl assigned doing shit against team magma etc and is not tasking 12 year olds to nearly die) aka the NSB and becomes an agent. which is only marginally better than tasking 12 year olds, the NSB tasked and recruited a 16 year old luke pearce! TOTALLY FINE (NOT FINE)
but yea, luke in this au is an NSB agent but the NSB takes way more cases involving ppl tryna get a bit too Conquer The World with pokemon alongside them. CAN THE TEAM OF THE YEAR STOP AWAKENING LEGENDARIES FOR LIKE, ONE DAY!!!!
luke's team (once canon age range):
corviknight, mightyena, and arcanine were the pokemon that the NSB gave to luke as his pokemon partners for investigations. all three pokemon started as their earliest evolutions and evolved while he was doing his own training for himself
flareon evolved from an eevee he had ever since childhood. he and mc both got eevees from mc's parents. this was basically their starter.
chatot is literally just peanut but a pokemon. hes the best thing ever in luke's team cuz u got all these strong/intimidating looking fellas and then just a chatty bird. despite the discrepancy, peanut the chatot gets along very well with the rest of luke's pokemon, and the other pokemon respect peanut the chatot muchly cuz like. the others' primary job is to keep luke safe. peanut's job is to keep luke happy. sir, that is his emotional support pokemon.
and absol is......
the canon mission mentioned in luke's perso story 2 still happens in this au. yknow, the mission where luke was the only survivor.
and as he was basically dying, this absol found him and kept him company until he lost consciousness. at the time, in his near-death daze, he thought the absol was a sign that his time was up. afterall, all the legends and stories about absols dub it as the Disaster Pokemon. when it's here, something bad is going to happen
then luke wakes up in the hospital and aaron tells him that this absol (by virtue of not having been in a pokeball at the time, since it was still a wild pokemon) actually helped the rescue team find luke. if it werent for the absol, aaron isnt sure they wouldve gotten to luke in time to save him.
the absol has been in luke's team ever since
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artem wing
short backstory:
artem in this au is much like artem in regular canon. going into law doesnt exactly necessarily require he have pokemon, but his parents---since they were so busy---did encourage him to catch some and also gave some to him so he wouldnt be lonely
but artem is largely the same, still the youngest to make senior attorney in stellis and all that. however, people have noticed that pokemon eggs hatch like, way faster if hes looking after them. he had to look after one as a favor from celestine once and he came back like 3 days later with a hatched snubull and she was like WHAT?? HOW DID IT HATCH SO FAST??
it seems baby pokemon really just like artem, is the answer
artem's team (once canon age range, actually, why am i putting this for everybody, just assume the team's are once it's 2030):
blastoise evolved from a squirtle and that squirtle was artem's first ever pokemon, ever since he was a little kid, those two were INSEPARABLE. squirtle was given as a gift from his parents
kangaskhan has been with artem just as long as the now-blastoise, but she wasnt really Artem's until later on. she belonged to artem's mom, and artem's mom often just had kangaskhan frigging BABYSIT ARTEM back then. when artem grows up though, his mom lets him have the kangaskhan permanently for his team.
(and honestly my entire rationale for picking kangaskhan was that wow Big and INtimidating but at its core, this pokemon is a Mom. and thats big artem vibes)
luxray evolved from a shinx that artem caught in his childhood, the First ever pokemon that he caught himself. this pokemon was one that did all its evolution during artem's mentee-ship under neil. neil loved this pokemon as much as he loved artem, it was kinda like a symbol of artem's growth as well!
luxray has always been a bit more sullen now that neil is missing, though...
swablue, litleo, and mudkip were pokemon artem caught later on, like, LATER LATER ON, like when he starts helping out at the orphanage in his personal story 1. the kids there like him but say his pokemon lineup is too scary, HE NEEDS SOME LITTLE GUYS and artem takes that mission very seriously. dont ask me about the pokemon ecosystem surrounding stellis city, dont worry about it.
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vyn richter
short backstory:
VYN'S family back in the svart region, the haspran lineage, was a pokemon gym lineage and aside from getting trained for all the noble responsibilities, vyn was getting trained to take on the haspran gym as leader eventually as well. that didnt happen tho since he skedaddled to stellis and once he got to stellis, he was wholly uninterested in pokemon battling as a whole.
like canon, hes still a psychiatrist and still founds the giannovyn research center. additionally, hes put a lot of work into pokemon assisted therapies and this is also an additional specialty for him as a practitioner
vyn's team:
ok like. for full transparency, my method for choosing a lot of these pokemon was "oh i GOTTA give vyn the cutest team. and people around him are always baffled because vyn gives off some really...Intimidating And/Or Unsettling Vibes.....but hE HAS A JIGGLYPUFF?????"
that aside, even the cute ones are important. ralts, musharna, and jigglypuff are all pokemon vyn works with for psychology shit. ralts helps out in letting patients gauge their own emotions a bit better, jigglypuff's singing easily can put someone to sleep and/or get them chill enough to not be freaking out, and musharna is there to eat any nightmares that happen during hypnotherapy
(later, when the nxx team is formed, understand that there are SO MANY JOKES at vyn about him and his musharna. the dex entry for musharna in pokemon shield is "It drowses and dreams all the time. It's best to leave it be if it's just woken up, as it's a terrible grump when freshly roused from sleep." and marius reads this out like "HAHA, JUST LIKE YOU VYN" and then vyn makes jigglypuff knock him out)
mawile was a pokemon he had caught back in his time in svart. he went exploring in a cave near the estate and was fascinated by how beautiful and prim it looked at first, only to be hiding a giant fearsome maw behind it.
decidueye evolved from a rowlet he had since birth. the rowlet was a gift to him from his father.
aaaaand skitty is just a stray cat he adopted in stellis
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marius von hagen
short backstory:
my buddy beckthebeetle made the genius suggestion that the von hagen family is a pokemon gym family, specializing in dragon types. and HELL YEA, I LOVE THAT SO MUCH, AND SO IT IS TRUE! aside from heading Pax Group (and just add certain pokemon industries into its already long list of industries it has JHVSKJFH) the von hagens have also headed the orchidshine district pokemon gym for centuries
marius wasnt in line to inherit both pax and the gym, but then giann disappears. and well...
marius' team:
full transparency again: my method for a lot of these choices is "noodle. pokemon that is noodle ala aquarian serpent"
milotic, hydreigon, and gyarados are all pretty traditional pokemon in the von hagen history lineup. when marius returns back to stellis, he has to take responsibility of the gym too and spends a lot of time catching these guys (first at their earliest evolution) and then training them to final evolution
the ditto is a pokemon hes had since childhood and his was basically his best friend, since all his other peers were either assholes to him or using him. and the smeargle is a pokemon he met when he was overseas studying art. both of these pokemon...he did not catch them, They caught Him. like, both of them respectively saw marius and decided "friend shaped." and the rest is history
the dragonaire is not marius' pokemon, it's giann's. hes just looking after it until giann gets back.
and the dragonaire was very distant towards marius at first (it missed giann too and marius is Not Giann) but it warms up to marius after it catches him in giann's room crying. maybe they can be sad together, then, it thinks
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additional notes
i mentioned mc has an eevee earlier and it does evolve into something but RAINCHECK ON THAT, IM STILL FIGURING OUT HER TEAM
nxx team still happens and the nxx drug also messes with pokemon
thats.....thats it for now. who knows if my brain will make more, HAHA, thanks for reading
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leon, quentin, and joey x anxious reader - fluffy headcanons
sickening fluff and comfort because that is currently my mood <3 thanks dont hate me please this is self-indulgence
also omg im posting ! crazy ! sorry it’s been so long but im doing a little better now :)
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𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐒. 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐃𝐘
when you start to feel very anxious, he can tell immediately, especially if you are a very physical person (i.e. hand shaking/wringing, leg bouncing, rocking, or just your facial expression)
he will do anything he can to calm you down. he’s very thoughtful and conscientious so he will be careful not to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with
if you are okay with being touched, he will hold your hands and pull you real close and put your head on his chest, and he’ll tell you that this will eventually pass, that it’s going to be okay, that you are going to be okay.
he won’t leave you alone if he knows you’re having a hard time. he’s worried that something will happen to you in his absence, and he just never wants you to feel abandoned or lonely. but if you need to be alone he will respectfully step away.
listen, we are talking about leon flirty-ass kennedy here. he is so touchy now that he has you; he’s always attached to you in some way. he loves to put his hands on your waist, or sometimes one of them will rest protectively on your thigh when you’re sitting down at the campfire. if you like to hold hands you best believe his hand will be slipping into yours the second he sees you are getting overwhelmed.
it’s his way of reassuring you that he is here and he’s not going to leave you.
he does that thing where he moves his thumb back and forth over ur hand that makes ur stomach go AAHHHHHHH u know that one???? that shit gives me butterflies☠️☠️
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𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇
he understands you.
sleepy cuddles. that’s most of what i have to say. he’ll pull you all gentle into his arms and just hold you so close that you feel like nothing could ever hurt you again.
he will remind you how brave you are, and he’ll tell you how proud he is of you.
somehow even more touchy than leon. his favorite way to cuddle is hugging you in his lap, your legs wrapped around his torso and his arms holding you close. it’s not only comfort for you—it’s comfort for him, too. he loves the feeling of you clinging to him like a koala; it’s very cute, and it also makes him feel needed.
he likes to trace his fingers along your face. i know this sounds weird but let me explain
you know when you pet a cat?? on its face?? and you trace its nose, and maybe its cheek, then under the chin, and then its nose again?? yeah its like that basically
you will lay your head in his lap and then he will trace his fingers along the bridge of your nose, then across your forehead, down your cheeks, and then he’ll just hold your face in his hands for a while to admire you. then he’ll squish your cheeks to make you do a fish face so that you’ll smile.
he likes small kisses. thumb, cheek, shoulder, forehead, etc. he will do this when he senses you getting overwhelmed—your mind is racing, you feel your heart speeding up, you feel like you might explode, and then suddenly quentin’s hand is in yours and he is pressing the softest kiss to your knuckles.
just the most precious boy in general. he will coerce you to take naps with him in which he falls asleep with his arms wound around your waist and face buried in your shoulder.
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𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐘
joey doesn’t want to be a killer and nobody can convince me otherwise
yeah he can be kinda scary personality-wise but frank is the one who convinced him and susie to help kill that guy; and then suddenly they were all kidnapped here, damned to kill innocent people for eternity.
he’s just a teenager. he was up to some bad things before the entity’s realm, sure, but he was never a murderer. he often missed having a normal life and slacked in trials—he couldn’t bring himself to harm so many innocent survivors unless the entity was driving him with that insane bloodlust he couldn’t control.
so seeing as joey is still hanging on to sanity, it’s fairly easy for him to sympathize with you when you start freaking out in one of his trials.
he doesn’t know exactly what to do, because mental health was not yet widely discussed in his time, but he could tell that something was wrong and you were in a lot of pain. the entity was not being particularly demanding right then, so he took that trial off to befriend you and calm you down.
you have never spoken of this to any of the survivors, but after that trial, joey took you back to the ormond lodge and gave you a cup of hot chocolate. you were astounded at his kindness and felt very connected to him since then.
you felt the urge to cling to him whenever he came to see you or took you to ormond again, and he didn’t mind at all. nobody had ever seen you in such an anxious moment but him, and he had made you feel safe, whether he was part of the legion or not.
you knew joey didn’t want to hurt anybody. he couldn’t want to hurt anybody. it wasn’t like him, was it?
whenever you hold onto his arm, he always stiffens for a moment, but then relaxes, and even slides his hand out of his pocket and intertwines it with yours. he’ll squeeze it every now and then to let you know he’s still paying attention to your touch.
frank calls him soft, but he doesn’t care. he likes the thought that you trust him, that you care about him, and that you don’t think of him as a monster. he feels normal around you.
and he likes being able to protect you. he loves feeling like he is doing something good for you, because ever since becoming a killer for the entity all he has felt is guilt, anger, and shame, and he’s sick of it. caring for you has made him feel not so much like a monster. you make him feel not so much like a monster.
he doesn’t completely understand your anxiety, but he will support you no matter what and knows what to do when you get overwhelmed. he visits you in the forest frequently just to talk and maybe cuddle if he’s in the mood. he doesn’t always initiate physical contact, but he never minds when you do as he knows it is comforting.
when he does touch you, usually it will be him playing with your hands. he likes to play with your fingers and just hold them in his own, compare the size, etc.
never, in any circumstance, harms you in a trial. he doesn’t care how much the entity punishes him—he will never hurt you. he will take that entire trial off cuddling with you to mentally prepare himself for what the entity will do to him. it will hurt a lot, but he doesn’t care. he wouldn’t harm you for anything in the world.
#dead by daylight x reader#dead by daylight#dbd x reader#dbd#dbd joey x reader#joey x reader#leon kennedy x reader#dbd leon x reader#quentin smith x reader#joey dbd x reader#dbd legion#dbd headcanons#dbd oneshot#fruggo writes#headcanons#quentin smith#joey#leon s kennedy#tw anxiety mention
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Why the hell u think i am so bitter? can go to somebody who gave u 3 mental illnesses growing up and lay out the dangerous, lonely shit u put urself thru to protect them and not even get a thank u wor. not even asking for that cloying stupid american shit thats like oh u are so special whatever u do is amazing because its u blah blah. just a nod and a thanks lol. nothing. and then all the uwu ppl bitching their colon inside out abt how theres not enough good in the world - when ppl try to bring that good into being and it makes u feel like shit, what do u do? despite knowing how painful and thankless the work is, what do u do to give these people support? don’t have to think abt me. think abt the other ppl u know.
Of course everybody and their dog has faith in human beings! because everytime there’s some dumb sad sack of shit turning their brain and body into a giant callus just to buy everybody more time. u can always bank on that! the fact that somebody will scuttle in there, try to fix the mess, and then die soon enough that the oozing pustule that is mankind can do whatever they like with their story. woobify when it suits them. demonise when it suits them. LOL.
Squawk squawk weh weh nobody stands up to the bad guys nobody wants to be the good guys - heard this shit until wanna puke already la. but then when the shitty person is ur friend leh? suddenly forgor how to be a feminist la hor. and all the gaslighting DARVO benda u whine abt having survived all day, u go and do that to the survivor who is speaking up about u.
Just burning heaps of trash all around trying to convince themselves they are worth the effort. thank you also too expensive.
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kova's backstory is so sad, like I knew it was sad but reading that still :((( anyways more kova lore bc I'm invested
I can talk about the campaign he was in then! :))
I'm so mad Tumblr deleted everything I wrote hold on while I try to fix this
Basically what I said before was so fucking long I simply can't rewrite it in as comprehensive a way i did before so this is gonna be a lot shorter I'm PISSED.
I don't remember everything that happened in the campaign because it was four years ago but the party was me as Kova, Asher (Wood Elf Ranger), Lan (Changeling ((in the form of a High Elf)) Fighter), Mislia (Tiefling Sorcerer), and Savory (Tiefling Monk, we had an inside joke that Kova spells her name Savoury).
We were on a job delivering some stuff from one town to another I believe when we were attacked by some goblins who we beat the absolute shit out of. Lan was checking one of the goblins when she found a ring with an eye symbol engraved on it. She put it on and it latched itself to her finger and shot a beam of light into the woods, presumably for us to follow. We hid our wagon and set up camp in a cave for the night. I don't remember who was on watch but we were ambushed by some Dark Elves who took us to the Underdark to their queen who welcomed us and decided to throw a party in our honor.
We were all varying degrees of intoxicated but Kova, who was nursing his first cup of ale since he hates drinking since it inhibits his reasoning skills and he was a little wary of the whole thing. Lan also was suspicious so the two chatted for a bit and planned to do some investigating together later. When we had been escorted to our rooms we found out that we had been magically locked in so we found a way to bypass the spell and sneaked out with the rest of the party, but we were caught and taken into the throne room where the queen revealed she had led us here for a reason. She activated a big rune on the floor and we all blacked out. Then when we woke up our skin was translucent and you could see our skeletons under our skin because plot twist we were dead and had been sent to the underworld (the reveal slapped so hard david if ur seeing this u popped off so hard)
We ended up having to do like a gladiator type match where Kova and Lan created the legendary knife cube combo (Kova casts cloud of daggers Lan throws enemies into the cube and theyre promptly turned into bad guy soup). We won and were brought before Hades and Persephone (Kova and Savory charmed her because they're both nice :) ) and then we were thrown in prison because Hades had a stick up his ass.
We met Brutus and Milquetoast in jail and decided to do a prison break I'm not sure exactly how it went but it involved the warden and a prison riot and Lan killed the warden and was inexplicably drawn to this dark spooky hallway which supposedly held Thanatos but when she reached the end of the corridor all that was there were empty chains.
We had a sick ass chariot race with Hades and Lan flipped him the bird as we escaped down a big cavernous hole in the ground. We woke up at the bottom and learned if we wanted out we each had to go through trials to judge our characters.
I don't remember the exact order we went in but Mislia's was a fight with their ex wife and ended with them choosing Savory's life over the ex, Savory's took place in her old monastery which she had been banned from, Asher's was a puzzle that ended in a fight with his former friend and leader (who happened to be his player's other character from a different campaign remember this it's important), and Lan's (which was the last trial and also the last session since we unfortunately didn't finish the campaign) took place in her childhood hometown but everyone but her had lost their memories and she had to convince us all to come with her and get our memories back.
Kova's was a quiz show type trial during which we would gain or lose things (body parts, knowledge/memories, items, etc.) The trouble with playing a character who's smarter than you is when ur DM asks you what the components are to an X level Wizard spell (something Kova would probably know but I sure as hell didn't) you end up spinning the bad wheel (a la taz suffering game) and losing Kova's harmonica which was a gift from his dead friends dead daughter. Also it got turned to ash :)
The game show host ended up being Medusa and we killed the hell out of her and Lan and Kova struck the final blows.
I ended up asking the DM what the campaign would have gone like from the last session and he said the twist would have been that Brutus was Thanatos and I don't remember how but he could not longer continue being Thanatos so Lan, who had the ring, would be given the choice to become the new god of death or not.
From there we have two endings:
The 'canon' ending, in which Lan accepts her role and remains in the underworld while the rest of the living party members return to their lives. Kova is alone and lonely returning to his travels but has healed somewhat and learns to accept people into his heart again.
In the ending where Lan refuses, the party returns to the living world and parts ways. Lan and Kova reluctantly separate since Kova wishes to keep traveling and seeing the world but Lan is exhausted by everything that has happened in her life up until this point and just wants to settle down. The two visit from time to time but reminisce on their past and wonder how they could have remained close and developed their relationship (art in the video is drawn by Lan's player lil.bunny.prince on Instagram)
In both endings (and here's where you remember that importance regarding Asher's trial), because the story has established that it takes place in the same world as another campaign, Kova meets
Gwyn, and becomes a father figure to her and essentially adopts her. They're perfect for each other. Gwyn was cast from her clan and disowned by her family, and now she finally has a solid adult figure in her life who loves and accepts her and helps her overcome her fears of rejection and accidentally hurting the people she cares about. Kova has lost so much and with Gwyn he is able to raise her like he would have helped raise Iris and learns to overcome his survivors guilt and both of their scars and trauma heal together I love them so much.
Kova does outlive Gwyn by a couple hundred years (damn dnd lifespans) and whichever direction his life goes his endings are always bittersweet but he is able to heal despite always feeling a little sad and when he gets older he settles in a nice town and owns a library. And obviously his canon storyline isn't sad enough so I have aus for that (villain au my beloved). ❤
#cutieacefuck#Kova#so mad I had to retype this all out again it was so perfect and this is still good but I'm absolutely certain there are things I forgot#to mention the second time around but its fine IG 🙄🙄🙄#rainy ask
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Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendations continued...
I did one of these lists back in June, and y’all KNOW! that I have even more to share with the world.
This list is a mix between crossovers and single-fandom fics, and are drarry or rarepair-centric, but either way I’ll mark which are which when I get to it.
If you want to see what I’ve been enjoying lately, check out my bookmarks on the Archive
Man of Iron, Child of Magic by zathara001
Harry Potter and MCU, no slash, 107k word count, 32 chapters, completed, teen
In the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, Tony Stark sorts out his priorities - including one he didn't think he had.
Okay I followed this one from the beginning as a WIP because this is exactly the fic that I was looking for. Tony being Irondad for Harry is the most wholesome thing ever, and Uncle Steve is also 20/10. I will say, this fic is not as dark as a lot of this hp/mcu fics of this trope because it happens in Harry’s younger Hogwarts years and his childhood isn’t too ruined just yet. It focuses a lot on Tony’s growth as a father rather than working through Harry’s trauma (which, don’t get me wrong, that happens as well). Harry still has the naive outlook on life that a child should have and it just makes my heart swell.
Although this fic is done, the sequel has not been uploaded yet, as this fic was just completed late August, but don’t let that deter you. The author is a sweetheart to interact with on new updates (which were quite frequent).
Golden Boy’s Dance by Madriddler
Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, 57k word count, 13 chapters, completed, explicit
Two years after the defeat of Voldemort and Harry is feeling useless. Jobless and suffering from PTSD, Harry spent his days going from horrible interview to horrible interview hopelessly looking for a job. Feeling completely useless, Harry, with the help of George, turns to a new profession that Harry never even thought of : being a camboy. Pleasuring himself for money and people's entertainment, Harry hopes to find a use for the Savior of the Wizarding World in this Peaceful Era.
Yeah so uh,,, this is a total guilty pleasure kink fic and I’m not at all ashamed for putting this fic on here. I won’t even lie, sometimes it felt a bit cheesey, but the porn was so well written it didn’t even matter. I swear to you this is porn with plot and lots of it. Harry works through his post traumatic stress disorder in ways that may or may not be slightly unhealthy, but beyond the porn, it’s really about Harry being okay in his own skin, as someone with mental health issues and as a sex worker. It was a hell of a good time to read and I definitely cried for Harry a time or two.
A Dented Old Street Sign by orphanghost
Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, 27k word count, one-shot, completed, mature
Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.
At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.
I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a fic in a long time. The golden trio and the Slytherin gang live in the same neighborhood while attending their 8th year at Hogwarts and i swear to fucking god, the amount of mutual pining and angst between Harry and Draco is fucking ridiculous, but you can’t help but love them anyway. Sometimes I wanted to throttle them and then shove them into a closet together so they would just t a l k but like in a good way. also the Christmastime atmosphere is something I just live for.
Words Unread, Things Unsaid by PinkCrupps
Harry Potter, no slash Harry & Snape, 18k word count, 7 chapters, completed, teen
What if the Dursley’s were a little crueler, and a little smarter? What if they didn’t want Harry going to school because they didn’t want anyone to see the bruises?
What if Harry had to leave for Hogwarts, carrying a shameful secret? One that Severus Snape is determined to discover.
When I say this one hurt, I mean it h u r t. I feel so bad because when I first read the tags I laughed when I saw the illiterate tag because I make the “I can’t read” jokes often but then I read the fic and i felt SO BAD OMG.
I am no fan of Snape, let it be known, but this fic, I think made me feel like he actually deserved a bit of a redemption arc (even if it’s fanon). This whole time, all I could think of is giving harry a big hug and never letting him go.
I said this in the notes of my bookmark, and I stand by it: “
I feel like the hurt/comfort tag on this one is also meant for the reader”
What Happens to the Heart by Mossycoat
Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 33k word count, 18 chapters, completed, mature
With no girlfriend, no job, and no idea what he wants, Harry has decided to let life go on without him. If only prophetic dreams, demanding ghosts, and Draco Malfoy would let him.
If you need a pick-me-up after the sadness for the prior fic, may i recommend this one. Seer!Harry is a headcanon that I had never seen before this fic, and I was not let down whatsoever. We love a fic where the OCs are wonderful and the writing style is immaculate. The incorporation of tarot and divination into the chapter names and plot also makes my babywitch heart s i n g!!
Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Relevant_Peach
Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 70k word count, 15 chapters, completed, no rating specified, but probably teen/ mature for mental health tingz
Draco Malfoy would do anything to find a cure for his son's life-threatening disease. When he crosses paths with an old acquaintance, it unleashes a string of events that will uncover secrets and deceptions. Will Draco be able to look past the misdeeds of his old lover's past? Will Harry ever find the family he longs for?
Ah yes, who knew that pain could feel so good. Everything seems to be fine until it isn’t with this one.
Turn by Saras_Girl
Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 306k word count, 14 chapters, completed, explicit
One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.
oh my goD yes a classic we love to see it. This is one of those fics that is long but doesn’t reallly feel like it is? This is definitely another feel-good fic, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the beginning. Not only does it focus on Harry and Draco’s relationship, but also their relationships with their family, specifically their children. It’s just really heartwarming whenever Harry get’s all fatherly with his kids. ugh I swear I don’t want any but this is just SO ADORABLE! Plus Blaise Zabini rights thank you very much.
Also Boris can suck my left toe.
There’s a Pureblood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren
Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 105k word count, 36 chapters, completed, mature
The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?
This is another fluffier one, and I have absolutely no shame. Draco is just trying so hard to get through Harry’s thick, clueless skull and Harry is just trying to understand. They’re just so adorable I can’t. And Harry defending Draco’s and his relationship after people are like fuck naw just warms my heart. Like yes Harry, protect ur mans you adorable himbo you.
Our Own Demons by Emmalie22
Harry Potter, MCU, Harry Potter & Tony Stark, Harry Potter/Peter Parker, 119k word count, 24 chapters, WIP, teen/mature
Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Ironman. (Reckless. Lonely. Father.)
Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Wizard. (The Master of Death. Survivor. Breaking.)
Tony Stark never thought he would be a father. But when a lawyer comes knocking and truths become evident, he realizes that he can’t let his son walk out of his life. For Harry, acknowledging his relationship with Tony is a last-ditch effort to gain freedom and control over his life. Although the journey might not be easy, Tony and Harry learn to heal and become a family, facing trials and tribulations on the way such as a scheming Death, a Mad Titian, Dark Wizards, dangerous Doctors, and living Wards.
I’m so sorry to give you a WIP that hasn’t been updated in 10 months, but I couldn’t let this one slide. I’m so attached to these characters it’s unhealthy. I’m not gonna lie, this fic was the product of a very hyperspecific filtered search on AO3 but I’m not even mad at it. Tony is Harry’s father but unlike the other fic on this rec list, Harry is a bit more grown up and bears a lot of the scars of 5th year (y’all don’t need me to specify with that one). It’s a lovely family dynamic and super fluffy Peter and Harry wow we love to see it. Harry is also super fucking smart AS HE IS! I will never get over people calling him stupid ugh Harry rights. But yes, author friend, if you see this, update when you can I’m so in love with this.
If anybody wants me to do more specific lists, I will totally do so. Just reblog or private message me. And if you have any other fic recs, please do so too because I’m always looking for something else to read.
#Harry Potter#hp#HP Fandom#drarry#drarry fanfic#drarry fanfiction#drarry fic#fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#reading list#fanfiction recommendation#FanFiction rec#fanfic reading list#fanfiction rec list#rec list#archive of our own#ao3#ao3 fic#marvel#marvel crossover#marvel harry potter#rare pair#rarepair#rarepair fics
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hi there it’s the main of zhuilingyizhen & since you sent me an ask i’m gonna send you one (but also cause your blog is great): zombie apocalypse + ot4 plez
thank you! nd thanks for waiting a bit for my response, i don’t rlly follow zombie apocalypse stories all that much so i didn’t know how to fill this at first but we love gaining experience in areas outside ur comfor zone, nd it was fun thinking abt the world building
bc of the fact that there are walking corpses nd such in canon, let’s say this is a modern au where cultivation is still a thing but resentful beings/fierce corpse are extremely rare bc suppression tactics have become ingrained into society to the point where there’s almost no chance for enough resentful energy to gather
mirroring cql, it’s wwx’s generation that had to actually deal with the outbreak nd the collapse of society
cloud recesses nd lotus pier still burn down due to the wens and all survivors from both sects both take refuge in qinghe nie bc it’s already a fortress but bc it’s still too dangerous, they can’t rebuild right away
wen ruohan is responsible for the outbreak, bc he was trying to find a way to cheat death nd yadda yadda
but the thing is that the zombies aren’t formed from resentful energy, so the cultivators don’t rlly know how to deal with them at first
now to the juniors’ timeline
by this point, the techniques needed to deal with the zombies have been pretty much perfected
techniques being gun cultivation, no i will not elaborate (they still mainly use swords tho bc gun cultivation is a new thing)
the cloud recesses is slowly starting to be rebuilt, but it’s an agonizingly slow process so they’re still at qinghe nie
lotus pier hasn’t even started rebuilding bc survival is priority nd they’re safe where they are
now to the juniors
they’re the best cultivators of their generation nd they always night hunt in a group together
they are a force to be reckoned with
ling is a sniper who has never missed a shot nd can track a target from a mile away
zizhen notices everything nd his talismans and arrays are nearly unparalleled (in his generation at least)
jingyi’s voice cultivation is as strong as his will nd his arm strength makes his sword strikes devastating
sizhui is precision personified nd has never left a task unfinished, completed with neat sword work that leaves no room for survival
they are strong, they are ruthless, they are in love, and they are lonely
what with ling, zizhen, and jingyi being sect heirs nd sizhui looking to be a great candidate for chief cultivator they have no time to see each other
(yanli nd zixuan are alive so that’s why ling is only an heir bc zixuan is sect leader, nd u can pry sect leader jingyi from my cold, dead hands)
the only time all four of them are together is during discussion conferences nd when i tell u they take advantage of every second they have alone,
they will talk for hours, and there is always some form of contact between the four whether it be an arm around the shoulder, a head on a lap, legs pressed together from sitting close, whatever
they also have a bad habit (it’s totally intentional) of talking too late into the night and sizhui nd jingyi fall asleep, nd zizhen nd ling have to help them to bed
cuddle piles always ensue
when they do go on night hunts, they’re always watching over each other nd teasing one another
if one of them does get injured, the other three get even more vicious against their target bc how dare they—
they always patch each other up, from tiny scratches to oozing gashes
“maybe if u were paying attention to what was going on around u, we wouldn’t be in the position, so stop complaining”
“well darling dearest, how could i ever pay attention when you are just so radiant?”
“,,,,,,sometimes i wonder why i worry about u, clearly u have enough attitude to bullshit ur way out of anything”
“aww, u worry about me?”
“of course i do, i love you”
*intense flustered spluttering*
they’re also the kings of facetime, like if they’re not in lessons, training, or studying, they’re facetiming one another
nd if one of them falls asleep during a call? u bet the others stay on the line
their group chat is, to say the very least, Chaotic
the saying of how the heart grows fonder with distance rings so true for them
if u have any questions, suggestions, prompts, or aus don’t hesitate in sending them in, i answer any and all asks
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Jon, Martin and Basira for character asks??
MARTIN YOU’RE ENABLING ME
Whoops this got long
Jonathan Sims
Sexuality Headcanon: acesexual(ofc) and kinda sex-repulsed in the “please let’s not talk about this unless you are very specifically my partner at a very specific time anything else is a no-no” (can you tell I’m projecting yet) and I also hc him as pan-romantic (I bet you can tell now) also because the experience of being ace and pan go hand in hand more than you might think!
Gender Headcanon: Trans non-binary/agender! I like to think during Uni he really got to thinking about gender? But when he started at the institute he got self conscious and started presenting heavily as male but as Shit Went Down he started going back to being less gender conforming and seriously went like guy???? Girl???? No. (I personally like to use they/them pronouns for Jon farther into like season 4 in my brain where everything is OK)
A ship I have with said character:EVERYONE JK BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE IT, if you’ve heard me rant on discord u know I’ve got a soft spot for poly archives so really my favorite pairings with him are Martin(this one is fueled by the power of CANON) Tim(bc past friendship Hurts and I want them to make up) sasha (deserved better mostly fueled by hc) Gerry(thank tumblr user @/gerrydelano) Oliver(mostly for shits and giggles)
A BROTP I have with said character: Georgie and Jon COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT BUT NOOOO(they’re great in every AU) and Daisy (thanks season 4)
A NOTP I have with said character: *claps hands* I 👏 see 👏 the nasty 👏 pedo 👏 fics on AO3 👏 where y’all 👏 literally 👏 make Jon a teen 👏 then pair him 👏 with a grown ass👏 Elias also don’t like Jon////Elias////Peter in general they are old creepy men and Jon can do better
A random headcanon: as the drama club President I say Jon was a theatre kid and that is final (HOWEVER I will also say he did not do theatre until Georgie pressured him to do it in uni)
General Opinion over said character: y’all know I’m kinnie for this guy, he got me out of my year long writing funk And I’m actually Talking to people again
Martin K.(issable, ickass) Blackwood
Sexuality Headcanon: Martin is what is know as a Home-o-sexual, but more specifically I hc him as grey-ace homoromantic
Gender Headcanon: Martin’s trans he told me himself! Look he’s got the trans flag tied like a cape around his neck look at him go!
A ship I have with said character: JON but also I like him in JonMarTim and JonGerryMartin (why is Jon at the front of all the ship names???)
A BROTP I have with said character: I’m once again wishing for Sasha to have gotten better but he and Sasha were bros! Let them have this
A NOTP I have with said character: *repeates what I said for Jon but I don’t wanna type all the clapping again* Bitchard and Lufuck were straight up terrible to him he can do better also Fairchild litterally looks like a 100 year old man
A random headcanon: scritches for the archivist said Martin can sew and that’s something I just take as cannon now, he’s polish and can sew
General Opinion over said character: I love his arc it really hurt! He’s such a warm character and for him to be aligned with the lonely just struck such a cord for me
Basira Hussain
Sexuality Headcanon: she’s a Lesbian but she’s also aromantic she hasn’t “dated” anyone in years but she’s fine with that, she has “better things to do”
Gender Headcanon: she’s cis, and she identifies as a woman but doesn’t have any strong feelings about it
A ship I have with said character: there was a thing in the past with Daisy, but life got very complicated
A BROTP I have with said character: *shakes ur shoulders* JON AND BASIRA WERE FRIENDS IN SEASON 2 IT WAS NEW AND UNSTABLE BUT THEY GENUINELY LIKE EACHOTHER
A NOTP I have with said character: 👏she👏wouldn’t 👏date👏a dude(jk this is just a hc do what u want)
A random headcanon: read every single warriors cats book, all the way up to present, however no one has found out yet bc the moment she finishes (within 2 hours) she burns the book so there’s no evidence
General Opinion over said character: she didn’t get enough attention in the show! It might be my lack of a memory (cough cough binged 160 ep in 5 days cough cough) but I felt like we didn’t hear enough from her! She’s not perfect but she is kick ass as hell and was the only “survivor” of the unknowing bc she REASONED HERSELF OUT
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If you think either sounds fun to write maybe DIY bullet removal / gentle shushing or huddling for warmth / frantically feeling for a pulse with Andreil? These prompts sound so fun, I’m excited to read more of your fics!! :0
Holy shit u really out here showin up in my inbox sayin u read my fics when i absolutely lov ur art???? what is this buddy???? omg 😭💕
ahhh they really are fun, thank you for submitting these!! i’ve had a need to write zombie au aftg forever (i have scraps of one that i’m not sure if i’ll work into a postable fic) so have all of em!
(also uhh i was researching gunshot wounds and eVERYONE says don’t take it out, you could die without proper medical knowledge,, but it’s the zombie apocalypse ok we’ll pretend andrew knows some stuff from dr aaron…. don’t do this at home tho lol)
btw if i messed up tenses anywhere tell me i’ve been trying to get back into past tense after a long period of writing only present so i keep switching oof
Andrew must have been shot.
His chest felt punched in, collapsed, the gunshot had been loud and ringing and replaced all other noise. His answering shot - directly to the head of the terrified, pale, lone survivor of the grocery store they’d broken into - was muffled, and Andrew barely noticed the figure fall.
Andrew had not been shot.
Neil had stumbled backward at the impact of the first bang, crashing into almost empty shelves, had dropped like he was - like he was -
Andrew’s legs were moving before he knew what he was doing as his gun fell from limp fingers to skid across the floor, as his hands were going to reach for redredred blooming dark across Neil’s hoodie front, but he had to skip over that, feel for - god, was he - was Neil…
Andrew pressed two fingers deep into the dip of skin and bone at Neil’s neck - he was shaking, he could not still his hands, could not feel his hands - was it there? A little frantic flutter, still?
Neil gasped a half-voiced cry, mostly air crushed from his lungs, and Andrew cursed as he pulled Neil’s upper body into his lap, unzipping the sweatshirt, tearing at the shirt underneath. The bullet wound low on Neil’s shoulder brought the world back into sharp focus.
The moan of the dead gathering was loud outside - Andrew and Neil had ripped boards off the window and shattered their way into the building, hoping for supplies, but it had left enough of an opening for those two gunshots to attract attention, maybe enough to entice a resourceful corpse into tumbling their way through the window, too.
Neil’s eyelids fluttered and he whimpered, a guttural, terrible thing that had more panic lancing through Andrew. He pressed a hand to Neil’s face, to try and draw his attention away. They must not make more noise.
“A-Andrew,” Neil panted, but his blue eyes seemed hazy, unable to focus. “Help. Fuck. Fuck.”
“I know,” Andrew said, and clenched his teeth as his eyes fell again on the wound. The bullet hadn’t gone clean through. He’d have to take it out.
It took a lot to leave Neil, but the pharmacy section was worth it, even as picked over as it was. He found a water bottle, soap, antibiotic ointment, and bandages scattered across the floor, tumbled between, behind shelves. Painkillers were noticeably absent from the selection.
Neil was shuddering when Andrew made it back to him, was reaching to clutch at Andrew’s shirt front and crying in short, sharp bursts as Andrew flushed the wound, set his jaw, and began digging out bits of bullet.
Andrew’s hushes became one long, continuous “shh” that he hissed against Neil’s temple, lips brushing Neil’s skin as he felt for the fragments, blood oozing thick and slippery around his fingers. Flushed the area again, and again, ointment, bandages, and…breathe. The zombies outside were loud but no longer close. Neil was shaking but quiet. Andrew could breathe now
“Thank you,” Neil finally whispered in a wrecked voice as Andrew ran his slightly cleaner hand over his face. Then, after a minute: “I’m cold, and I - will you - can we -”
Andrew huffed and slowly, gently, pulled Neil the rest of the way in. Neil curled against him, trembling, and Andrew wrapped arms still stained with Neil’s blood around him. They were together, they were able to take care of each other.
No, they would not die today.
(send me more H/C prompts from here!)
#crowtoeoe#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#the foxhole court#all for the game#foxhole court#aftg#tfc#aftg fanfic#tfc fanfic#all for the game fanfic#the foxhole court fanfic#fanfic#ficlet#zombie au#kay answers#kay fanfic#kaystuff#blood tw
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So I havent actually seen ur writing before. Can u link me to a few of ur personal faves?
It’s come to my attention a lot of you guys have never seen my writing! So I’m gonna use this ask as a hub of sorts.
Fandoms:
Sanders Sides Fics
Like Little Puzzle Pieces || 2016-2017 || Sanders Sides AU where Thomas is somehow turned into a child and the sides have to try and take care of him. Can they keep him out of trouble? || Uncompleted, never will be completed
‘M Sorry || 2018 || When tiny Virgil loses anything, he always comes to one of the sides doors and won’t stop saying sorry to them. This barely happens but when it does... || Part 1 Part 2 || Uncompleted, never will be completed
I Do Adore || 2018 || A Prinxiety fic based on the song I Do Adore by Mindy Glindhill || Oneshot
Well It’s Now Or Never (WINON) || 2019 || Adoption AU where Thomas acccidentally adopts 4 of the sides, needing to learn how they act. || Uncompleted, never will be completed
Pokemon Fics
Lackthomas || 2020 || This was a reblog to a cursed image. Now it’s a cursed fic. || Drabble
Danganspe || 2020 || AU fic; The pokespe characters wake up in Hopes Peak Academy, little did they know that murder was going to start happening || TW Major Character Death, Violence || Multi-Chaptered Fic, ongoing
Snowball Fight || 2020 || X reader fic; based off the prompt “Don’t you dare hit me with that snowba— goddamnit!”; Barry x Reader
Portal
Baking || 2020 || Wheatdos Fic; Wheatley tries to bake GLaDOS a cake. It goes wrong. || Oneshot
Danganronpa
Nights Like These || 2020 || Ishimondo Fic; Mondo has a breakdown, and Kiyotaka is stuck straight in the middle of it || Oneshot
Cookie Run
Lone Survivor || 2021 || Custard Cookie iii remembers. And hoo boy does he not want to. || Oneshot
Camp Camp
I Guess I Miss You || 2022 || Jaspvid (possibly) Fic; David finally got closure on Jasper. Maybe he needed it. But now.. He couldn’t just let this go. He had to properly take care of this. / Aka: David grieves by making Jasper a resting place, and Jasper shows up. || Oneshot
Max Loves Dogs || 2022 || Dadvid (David acting as Max’s father) fic; Max loves dogs. And David knows this. So, maybe the idea of getting a dog.. would be great for this family. || Oneshot
Five Nights At Freddy’s
I Never Knew What It Meant (What It Meant To Be Content With You) || 2023 || Cassidy & Crying Child (called Evan in here) talk about their family and their lives before they died. Cassidy finds something very disturbing out about Evan’s family. || Oneshot
Falsettos
Post-Racquet Polaroids || 2024 || Marvin & Whizzer banter as Whizzer takes Polaroids of Marvin after their racquetball game
This will be updated as I post more stuff!!
#pokemon#sanders sides#my writing#my fics#ask#portal#danganronpa#camp camp#cookie run#falsettos#fnaf#five nights at Freddy’s
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fallout for 001 & althea x lacroix for 002 >:)
001 | fandom — fallout
favorite character — I had to narrow this down severely and most of the chars I mention below are also faves so I didn’t mention them here... Narrowed list is Gob, Arcade, Doctor 0, Piper o_o
least favorite character — Besides obvious villains or whatever; Wally Mack -_- die bitch. Also Maxson is so mf annoying!! And tbh Three Dog is a bitch for making me do all that shit for him before helping me
favorite ships (canon or non-canon) — Sole Survivor/Nick Valentine, LW/Butch, Courier Six/Swank (he’s a boy toy), Sole Survivor/their spouse!, Sole Survivor/Preston, Chosen One/Lenny (😔)
character I find most attractive — No one plays 76 but Johnny is sexy -_-
character I would marry — Preston... :)
character I would be best friends with — Travis... we can both be the losers of the Wasteland...
a random thought — I hope Fallout 5 is set in New Orleans and if it isn’t (or before 5 ever comes out) I’m going to run a Fallout-D&D game set in New Orleans :)
an unpopular opinion — This isn’t necessarily “unpopular” but everyone needs to play 1 & 2!! You are seriously missing out if you haven’t played the classic Fallouts. Actual unpopular opinion: 76 is good.
my canon otp — Christine/Veronica is the only one lol
my non-canon otp — All the OC ones I listed of course. And my own OCs/their SOs
most badass character — Dr. Li is a badass let’s be real even tho she kinda pissed me off in 4 but that’s irrelevant. Umm Tandi (little village bitch inventing the NCR!!), Meg, the female Sole Survivor (assuming she has the “canon background”), Veronica, Christine, I could keep going but my mind is fried now
pairings I am not a fan of — LW/Charon, mostly LW with anyone who isn’t their age?? I have a lot but they aren’t really popular ships so I won’t say them hfghf
character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another) — DEACON. Don’t get me started... if they had just hinted at the end of his personal questline that he was still lying then it would have been perfect... but instead they have this stupid ass dead wife story... I cannot. I have a whole headcanon backstory for him
favorite friendship — The Lone Wanderer and Butch are so good!! I don’t ship my LW with him at all but I love them being best friends :( enemies to BFFs team where u at... Also LW/Gob!! <3
002 | ship — althea/lacroix
when I started shipping it — On July 12, 2018 I said to my friends “not to be that guy but lacroix hot” and it was downhill from there I think... I first mentioned them to my friends in late August 2018 hdfghf
my thoughts — Many thoughts, head empty
what makes me happy about them — They’re the only two people who can handle each other’s shit (except Althea’s like 3 friends) so good for them!
what makes me sad about them — This is more sad about Althea specifically but since he’s exiled from like everywhere Althea has to also deal with that :/ ride or dies but in the way where it kinda fucks you over cause then you only have who was already by ur side beforehand...
things done in fic that annoys me —
things I look for in fic —
my kinks —
who I’d be comfortable seeing them end up with, if not each other — God I can’t see them being shipped with anyone else... everyone hates Lacroix and Althea hates everyone
my happily ever after for them — They own real estate in New York and live in a swanky apartment building doing evil deeds (producing funds for Broadway shows)
#i cant talk about s*x on tumbler dot com ill die#thank you naomi <3#x: you make me feel like i am whole again#long post /#roberthouses#asks
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HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM
LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn
ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)
so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu
SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.
His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.
All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’
He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel
but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy
Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”
master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)
Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.
BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )
Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers.
Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :
- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go
- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)
- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)
-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)
he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)
he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously
he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served
he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness
he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)
honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental
he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends”
i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore
a dog person
i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits
in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.
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‘There’s just nothing inside you, nothing at all.’
The Southern Raiders Episode And Kataang Zutara Katara
so a few years ago (i wanna say 2014? smthn like that) @irresistible-revolution mentioned wanting to write a meta about the southern raiders episode of atla and how it’s really about katara and not kataang or zutara. i’ve just finished the episode and i have my own thoughts on that so i’ve decided to get them out and dedicate the following meta/word vomit to her.
(also @gameofdooweeoo since u seem to enjoy my word vomits and @mythaelogy since u asked for content. i know it isnt the meta i was talking about, but hopefully this can tide u over until then.)
spoilers ahead obvi.
so, i think we can all agree that atla is a far more mature show than what is usually aimed at children. from the themes of war, imperialism, lost innocence, and compassion and the lack thereof (still working on that meta, gonna finish the show before i really knuckle down and get started on it), among many others, it’s safe to say that it’s an incredibly mature show, and an episode that best exemplifies that is ‘the southern raiders’.
quick recap: when they were still children, katara and sokka’s mother, kya, was killed during a raid on the southern water tribe to find waterbenders (the show only has katara and sokka say their mother was taken from them which implies imprisonment, which did happen to previous benders, but it’s far more heavily implied that she actually died. kinda weird how they kept that ambiguous considering all the other stuff that was included but eh.), and the raid was lead by yohn ra. years later, after joining the gaang, zuko offers katara, who still harbours hatred and anger towards yohn ra, a chance at revenge and closure. now, here’s where some of the shipping wars and conflicts arise.
full disclosure, i ship both of these ships and have done for years, so i never really focused on that aspect of the episode, however i can see why other people did.
i don’t involve myself in shipping discourse, but from what i’ve seen there are some zutara shippers (as well as non shippers) who say that zuko is helping katara deal with her emotions, while aang invalidates them. i would like to respectfully disagree.
in this point in time, zuko is still dealing with his own intense emotional trauma and learning to let go of his anger as well as trying to get katara to like and trust him, and he sees this as a way to accomplish the latter. he was raised in an environment that encouraged aggression and violence, and no doubt getting revenge would’ve been part of that. and i don’t just mean his homelife/childhood, but we’ve seen how society in the fire nation is also geared towards violence (as is typical of imperialist, warmongering nations, but that’s a meta for another day), so it would make sense for him to jump to that as a course of action. i also believe he’s living his own revenge fantasy vicariously through katara, he was unable to save his mother as a child, and perhaps sees this as a way to make up for that (even though he was, y’know, a child). this is not to say that zuko’s thinking was inherently wrong. his thinking and view of the world had been so thoroughly warped by that stage, that to him, getting an eye for an eye was more than fair for katara. he may have changed sides, but it takes far more than that to undo such intense cultural conditioning. his feelings and opinion on how katara should deal with her grief are every bit as valid as aang’s.
another moment for disclosure; i 100% agree with aang in this instance, no question. revenge is all well and good, but an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind and whatnot. one of the biggest messages of atla is how violence begets violence and that breaking that cycle is the only way forward (this will be further discussed in that ‘atla and compassion’ meta), and aang has shown this attitude throughout the series. despite the fact that he’s literally the most powerful bender in the world, aang has consistently shown to value non violent approaches to conflicts, as he was taught by the monks (who, as we all know, were based off buddhist monks). and when he tells katara he understands what she’s going through, he means it. don’t forget, he’s the last airbender, the lone survivor of a genocide. when he went to the southern air temple and saw the destruction, he was enraged and went into the avatar state over it. he carries that weight and anger and loss and grief with him every day, the same way katara carries hers. he knows this pain, knows it all too well, and he doesn’t want it to drag katara down. she’s a lively, vibrant, compassionate soul, which he (and myself and i’m sure many others) loves, choosing to exact revenge on someone, however ‘deserving’ of it they may be, could easily twist that. if she does it then, what’s stopping her from doing it again and again and again? and what’s to stop anyone else from trying to exact revenge on her? the cycle continues, the wheel spins, and nothing is changed. in the end he does concede that this is something she needs to do and accepts that, although not without some trepidation, because it’s about her and her feelings. and he’s right.
now for katara.
here’s the thing about katara: as a character, she truly is one of a kind. she’s a young woman (of colour) who is shown to be kind, loving, compassionate, friendly, and brave, all the good things a person should aspire to be. but the writers don’t try to kid themselves or us into believing that that’s all she is. she’s also ruthless, can hold a grudge like nobody’s business (obvi as a grudge is the catalyst for this episode), and possess a temper that is honestly rarely seen in a female character (ur fave could never, as the kids say). and that side of her is on full display this episode. the writers never once make katara seem ridiculous or vindictive or petty for holding onto this anger, they are totally honest about it. sometimes even kind, sweet people we love and hold dear to us are capable of extreme hate and violence, and we need to reconcile that. and we also need to deal with our grief and anger in our own ways.
the loss of her mother is significant to katara in ways that are different to sokka. this is not to say that losing his mother didn’t affect sokka, of course it did, but it was different for them both. katara had become the mother to both her and sokka (sokka himself said in ‘the runaway’ that when he tries to picture his mother’s face, he sees katara), which is a huge responsibility. there was of course gran gran and hakoda, but sokka’s comment is very revealing. katara and sokka lost more than their mother that day, they lost their innocence, and katara specifically lost her chance at girlhood. she had to, or at least felt like she had to, step up and replace her mother, a responsibility that was no doubt kicked up a notch once hakoda left for war (possibly another reason why she resented hakoda for leaving? discuss.). after all gran gran was an old woman, expecting her to care for two children, one of which was their tribe’s last waterbender, is somewhat unrealistic. and while there is a feeling that everyone in the southern water tribe would’ve pitched in and raised all the kids together, katara still felt the need to become the new mother (and considering sokka’s pre-series sexism, it’s unlikely he was a big help), while not knowing what to do. sure she would’ve learned from gran gran and the other women, but there’s more to motherhood, self imposed or not, than just tasks. there’s being an emotional support, a voice of reason, an example of bravery. being all of these things is taxing on an adult, nevermind a heavily traumatized child. yohn ra made katara grow up too fast. he ripped her girlhood away from her. it’s only fair she rips what’s left of his life from him.
when we meet yohn ra, he is far from the fierce raider commander from the flashbacks. he’s now an old man, living with his (implied to be abusive) mother, and tending to a garden. while he still displays some skill at firebending, it’s clear that he’s no match for zuko and katara, who in a previous scene expressed a willingness to bloodbend despite her reservations about it in ‘the puppet master’ (a prime example of just how fierce she can be). katara is able to stop some of the rain, creating a dome of cover for the three of them, after revealing that she was the last waterbender in the southern water tribe, not her mother. she creates a flurry of sharp icicles, all of which look like they could easily impale yohn ra, and throws them at him.
and then she stops. she calls off the attack.
yohn ra takes the opportunity to try and placate katara, admitting that what he did was wrong (was he sincere or just trying to save his ass? discuss.) and beg for mercy, offering up his own mother’s life (an eye for an eye). katara says that before, she couldn’t imagine why someone would do something like take away a person’s mother. and she says that she’s understands now.
‘there’s nothing inside you, nothing at all. you’re pathetic and sad and empty.’
it’s something that i’m sure many victims/survivors wish they could say to the people who traumatized them. you did this horrible thing to me, nothing you do or say can undo it or untraumatize me. you’re pathetic, sad, empty. you’re nothing. for katara, it’s no doubt a cathartic moment. throughout the years, despite not knowing his name, yohn ra was the monster that lurked under her bed. the shadows that seemed to move on dark nights. the nightmares that chased away pleasant dreams and sleep.
yohn ra cries, begging for mercy.
and katara grants it.
she tells him that as much as she hates him, she can’t do it. she can’t bring herself to take a life the way he did. yohn ra may be pathetic and sad and empty, but she is not. she has her family, her friends, her promise to aang to help him defeat ozai and end the war. a war that took her mother and brought her to that moment. she has things and people to live for and love, she has happiness and joy, she has fulfillment. she is not yohn ra. she will not act like she is.
i haven’t read any interviews/discussions from the writers on the episode that talk about why katara spared yohn ra instead of killing him. perhaps it was to help foreshadow aang’s show of mercy to ozai. maybe it was to keep katara’s status as a heroine and not have her ‘go over to the dark side’ so to speak. i don’t know, and to be perfectly honest, i don’t really care (death of the author babey!!!!!!). for me, this episode was about katara growing as a person, learning that exacting violence on someone for the violence they exacted on u (whether directly or indirectly) is never good and will not lead to a sustainable society. to kill yohn ra, despite the things he’s done, would solve nothing. her mother is still dead. she is never getting her girlhood back. and she would never be able to undo killing yohn ra. by sparing yohn ra, she showed the kind of grace and mercy that many real world adults are unable to show, and that’s extremely powerful. i can only imagine the kind of strength that goes into that kind of restraint.
she hasn’t forgiven him. perhaps, despite aang’s hopes, she never will. but she can learn to let the anger and grief go, and fill herself with other things, like forgiveness for zuko, and love for aang.
she will not be nothing. or pathetic. or sad. or empty.
she will not be him.
#atla#atla meta#kataang#zutara#katara#my meta#PREPARE URSELVES FOR SOME UPCOMING ATLA META YALL#ALMOST FINISHED THE SHOW#also feel free to add ur own comments/thoughts!!!!!!! would love to have a discussion about this!!!!!!
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therion dbd au thoughts
- therion is the stereotypical bastard teammate when he first starts trials. when he doesn’t have relationships with other people, he’s mainly a lone wolf / not the type to be overly altruistic. he WILL sandbag you, he WILL urban evade away, he WILL loot that chest right near the hook ur on then leave u on it if the killer so much as breathes near him.
- obviously he outgrows the aforementioned trait, but the other survivors kind of have to be patient with him..... which is hard because he’s a brat. but he’s pretty ride or die once he forms a relationship with someone. he doesn’t say as much since he’s the type to show that thru actions, but he WILL die for u. like if he’s willing to put up a chase for u, then u know it’s real.
- also i like to think that if he just... was unable to help someone he liked well enough, then he would grab their items and return them to that person before the next trial as a way of making it up to them. if he doesn’t like u, he steals it.
- if u get frankies’d? that shit’s his now
- he was a thief in his past life so if ur on good enough terms, he’ll steal whatever u want for u. also uses it as a fun little party trick to amuse the other survivors. and sometimes a not so fun party trick, where he steals ur belongings and cites plausible deniability.
- where has he been the whole trial? we just don’t know. until he rolls up to the exit gates with a medkit tucked under one arm, a toolbox under the other, and is blinking a flashlight at u obnoxiously.
- he’s speedy and good at evading bc he was a thief, but he’s not one for running. he’ll do it if he has to but he likes to lay low for most of the trial / he doesn’t want to be the designated distraction unless he particularly cares abt u. he’s trying NOT to get killed and attract attention & it absolutely baffles him how willing some survivors are to nab the killer’s attention.
- but also he loves to be a nuisance and break shit. NO, he does not like having to run from the killer all game and YES, he wants to live. but also why can’t he break a few hooks along the way or swing off the hook the second the killer’s back is turned
- he’s kind of a wildcard re: usefulness. how much help he wants to be during a trial typically depends on WHO is in the trial. he’s bratty and will spend all trial looting / leaving u on hook till struggle just to make u sweat if he’s not on particularly good terms with u.
- this all makes him sound bad. he IS a lone wolf and he IS a brat, but he’s also soft underneath that. he just doesn’t trust easily so he’s very skittish around the other survivors and has already resigned himself to the fact that he might be trapped here forever, so why not figure out the best ways to survive? that’s what he’s good at! and if it means working alone, then so be it. but he will and does grow out of that mindset! that’s just his trauma babe
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♫ headcanons for mastermind nanami who was working with her gfs ibuki and tsumiki
heres ur headcanons nanami! i hope u like them, and if u want me to make any changes just let me know! ur headcanons are under the cut
♪ mod kaede
- most people would be shocked to hear someone like nanami being accused of creating a killing game and forcing all the people that considered her a friend to kill each other. she came off as a really sweet person who would never harm a fly, so nobody really took her into consideration when they would talk about who brought them into such misery
- despite her cheery and sweet persona, though, nanami was always finding herself dwelling on despair and misery. she would always ask what the point in clinging onto hope was, and she often found that there was no good answer to her question. so, while a lot of people assumed she was full of hope, nanami herself felt rather devoid of all hope
- however, nanami was shocked to see that there were other people who felt just as lonely and hopeless as she did. while tsumiki was someone that nanami figured would be easily swayed into giving up hope and falling into despair, she wasnt sure how to feel upon finding out that ibuki didnt really see much hope for herself or the rest of humanity, too
- thanks to their shared view on hope and despair, nanami took tsumiki and ibuki under her wing, involving them in her process to overthrow the peace in the world and create a killing game to help maximize the despair she wanted everyone to feel. through this process, the three of them became close. nanami considered them to be like her friends
- the closeness that the three of them felt wasnt just a lie, either; before the killing game was up and running, tsumiki actually mentioned that she really liked ibuki and nanami as more than friends, right before apologizing to them and crying. even though tsumiki felt bad about it, though, on that day the three of them decided to start dating each other
- a lot of the concepts behind executions were actually ibukis ideas, since she was pretty imaginative and she was always thinking about cool ways for people to die. tsumiki helped figure out the logistics of ibukis ideas so that it would actually do the job, while nanami worked on other aspects of the killing game, such as motives and trial grounds
- when the killing game actually started, nanami did the best that she could to protect ibuki and tsumiki, since they had gotten so close to her during the time that they spent plotting things together. sure, she knew that watching them die would bring her amazing despair, but she didnt want them to leave her all alone with the killing game just yet
- throughout the entire killing game, nanami made sure to come across as someone who genuinely wanted to stop the killing game, by giving everyone clues and hints about what was really happening. she knew that it was a little counterproductive to unravel her own game, but it also helped to keep her from being seen as suspicious by her classmates
- at some point, nanami was sure that she was going to need to reveal herself as the mastermind, and when she came to that realization, she told ibuki and tsumiki that they both needed to protect themselves and act as innocent as possible. unfortunately, though, when nanami started to reveal that she was the mastermind, the other two confessed to helping
- although nanami wished that the game she started wouldnt have to end with her getting executed by ibukis and tsumikis sides, she was glad that she could go out with a bang next to the two people she cared about the most. she was so glad to be with them that she didnt even care that she was moments away from being executed in front of all the survivors
#chiaki nanami kin#nanami chiaki kin#dangan ronpa kin#sdr2 kin#super dangan ronpa 2 kin#super dangan ronpa 2 goodbye despair kin#ibuki mioda#mioda ibuki#mikan tsumiki#tsumiki mikan#headcanons#mod kaede#long post#death ment#death mention#ask to tag
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First, Love Thy Self - A Valentine’s Day survival guide for singles
Valentine's Day: a holiday created to celebrate love. Let's be honest. For those who are not in a happy, committed relationship - on and around February 14th - this can be a lonely, painful time of year. It can leave singles feeling depressed. Angry. Inadequate. I have been there (more than once in my life). It doesn't have to be painful, unless we chose to let it hurt. Hear me out.
It was Christmas, when I was broken-hearted and alone. The painful commercials began before Thanksgiving. I was already dreading Thanksgiving - the holiday meant to be spent with family - because mine had been abruptly torn apart. I was not in a good place emotionally. Syndicated TV shows offered a temporary escape.... until an onslaught of painful jewelry commercials began airing. Pre-Netflix, my sitcom escapes were no longer an option, unless I wanted to punish myself. Unless I chose to feel miserable. Love songs on the radio hurt, so listening to the radio was out. Going out in public and seeing happy couples holding hands in the grocery store hurt - a necessary activity I couldn’t avoid. Waking up to an empty pillow, that once cradled the head of the man I loved, hurt most of all. I was tired of feeling hurt. In an act of defiance I made up my mind to find ways to make my situation hurt less. Mind-over-matter. You can do most anything you set your mind to. Yes. You. Can.
You don’t have to dread this made up holiday. You don’t have to punish yourself. You can celebrate as an act of self-love. Or, as a ballsy act of defiance. Whatever works for you. I felt empowered and better about myself, because I made up my mind to choose self-love. Here are some suggestions and some of the ways I celebrate me:
GNO ~ make a date for a girls/guys night out. Don't go out looking to meet Mr or Ms right. Do something fun with the people already in your life, such as bowling, laser tag or go to an arcade. I, personally, would not consume too much alcohol. It's a depressant; you may feel giddy at first, but coming down only left me depressed. You could go out and grab a bite to eat or get coffee, but you're more likely to be faced with sappy, happy couples. Instead, plan a pot luck dinner with single friends and play board games.
Pamper Me ~ If you can't find a friend who is free to hang out with you, instead of sitting at home licking your wounds, do something self-indulgent instead. Nothing says I love myself more than splurging. Go shopping - it's called retail therapy for a reason. Set a budget and a specific goal. Set out on a quest for a new pair of earrings, a different shade of lipstick or new shoes. Be daring. Don't get sensible shoes! Step outside of your comfort zone. It’s brave and empowering. Hit every store in the mall before you make a decision. End the trip with a manicure, pedicure or a makeover. Most department stores are eager to give makeovers. Buyer beware - they will try to sell you everything in stock. Unless you make the big bucks, purchase a lipstick or eye shadow and walk away. No matter what your station in life is, freshly polished nails or a brave new shade of lipstick will remind you that you are capable and willing to take care of your own needs. Guys, go to the men's fragrance section in a department store and have someone help you select a new cologne. Go to a hot towel barber and get a professional cut and shave. Don't knock it till you've tried it: be brave and get a pedicure sans the nail polish, especially if you work on your feet all day. It's incredibly relaxing. Or, treat yourself to a relaxing massage.
Get Physical ~ First you're sad, then you're mad....well, that's how it was for me. For those who have an over-abundance of angry energy: put it to good use. Take on a project. Repaint the room you spend the most time in or buy an old chair and refinish it. Go to the gym or put on a kick boxing video. Listen to empowering music or comedy tracks, while you work and work out. I created a Spotify account on my computer - it's free and it's user friendly. Here's my workout play list:
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor Respect - Aretha Franklin Survivor - Destiny's Child Raise Your Glass - Pink U and Ur Hand - Pink So What - Pink Hot n Cold - Katy Perry Part of Me - Katy Perry Mr. Know It All - Kelly Clarkson Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson Stronger - Kelly Clarkson Titanium - David Guetta/Sia
You can also listen to your favorite comedians on Spotify or Pandora. I’ve acquired an Amazon Echo. I can listen to whatever I want, without commercials, including comedy bits. Finally! I know it's cliche', but laughter truly is the best medicine.
Getting physical can also be serene. If you've not yet tried yoga, give it a go. It is incredibly relaxing and therapeutic. Many yoga studios allow you to pay for one class at a time. If you're having trouble silencing your mind, yoga is the answer. Yoga helped me realign - not just my body, but also my mind, spirit and, in time, my life. Anxiety is a beast. It was making my situation feel exponentially worse. Yoga helped me find inner peace. Peace is essential when you’re trying to heal.
Movies ~ Go out with friends and avoid all date movies. Or, stay in and watch one at home. Say 'no' to Rom Coms!! Watch an action flick, a side-splitting comedy or an inspiring movie about courage. I watched old movies I knew would not upset me. A League of Their Own and Men in Black are two of my go-to favorites. If you're ready to embrace the thought of loving again, I recommend Under the Tuscan Sun. It reminds me love happens when you least expect it. It also reminds me the value of love.
Love is not exclusive to romantic love - there is maternal and paternal love, the love of a dear friend and the love of a cherished pet. If you’re having a tough time loving yourself, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. My self-punishing nature ended when I’d had enough of feeling awful. When I stopped beating myself up, my life improved. Your heart matters. You. Matter. Love should not be celebrated once or twice a year. It should be a daily celebration. Love is an inside job. We receive the vibrations we emit. Anger attracts anger. Joy attracts joy. Conversely, joy repels anger (and vice versa). When we are self-loathing, we repel love. All love. Choosing self-love is a gift we give to ourselves and to those we come into contact with. Above all else, remember: love is the heart of the matter. It should begin within and radiate out. Make this potentially difficult day, a celebration of you - whether you are single or in a committed relationship. Allow yourself to love yourself, warts and all. May you never feel inadequate again. ~ T xo
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