#like we've talked about girlie really just goes for it most of the time

[vullcanica]

02.  the high priestess  :  how does your muse make decisions ? do they trust their instinct or would they rather trust their heart / their logic ? for our eldritch gal

muse headcanon questions // accepting

It depends on the time and information available to make that decision. Avita's primary drive is logic but she's hardly a slave to it. For example, you won't find her fearing the unknown or freezing in front of the sudden and unexpected. Whatever little of her human instincts are left aren't wasted on survival mechanisms she finds futile. Nor on taking her sweet time to overthink a decision she could've intuited already.

She's rather firmly rationally-minded. If she's decided on a course of action, she can even act in direct opposition to her feelings if necessary, especially when it comes to morality. In both altruistic and cruel ways. However, heart, when it does decide over mind, decides immovably. Her modus operandi is balance and reason.

But then reason as a whole can be terribly overkill when your very existence itself is illogical and you also deal with impossibilities in your line of interest. Avita, an irregularity in her own right, has gone on to be additionally responsible for propagating more irregularities. Risk is the bedrock of creation, progress and evolution - where she already has skin in the game and certain goals set. Suddenly everything looks like an opportunity, which, while she won't go into blindly, she would never cross off as an option until she's made considerable effort towards it and found herself at a loss. With enough drive and effort, and study of logistics, she rarely does.

In the same vein, she's notably good at circumventing the path well-trodden - either through inability/disability, superior practicality or curiosity. Why? Why not. If she operated based on the number of possibilities already proven (or proven to be easier), she'd have achieved very little by comparison. She's a mix between ambitious willfullness, rationale and white-knuckle hard work.

[cheriladycl01]

I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 5

Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.

Credit to misscalliopecruz for the GIF

Eventually the tour guides, medium and caretaker all left off site and you guys watched them leave to confirm it.

"So what are we doing first, flashlights, rem-pod, spirit box!" you ask excitedly. Both the boys laughing at how excited you were getting.

"We can just start with the REM and EMF reader in this room, then maybe whip out the Ovulis?" Sam suggests.

"That sounds good!" you smile.

The boys start to set up while you look around at all of the pictures.

"Hi!" you hear next to you, it almost sounded like Colby or Sam doing a really high pitched girlie voice in your ear. You turn round to talk to whoever had come over to you, only to find you were alone and Sam and Colby were crouched down getting the equipment out.

"Did you guys just say something..." you ask slowly walking over to them. They both looked up confused and could see you were just as confused.

"No, we've both been here getting the equipment out" Colby says standing up.

"Did you hear something?" Sam asks and you nod.

"Yeah it was like one of you were doing a really high pitched girl voice that said Hi ... like right in my ear. I thought one of you were behind me!" you explained and they started to record to explain what had just happened to you.

"Okay, we have the REM pod here in the middle of this large dining room table. Y/N is holding the EMF reading and the Ovulis next to Colby... so lets start our dining room investigation!" Sam says clapping his hands.

Just as he did the clap the EMF Reader in your hand spiked once and turned back off.

"Woah, did that just spike to red?" Colby asks looking over your shoulder and you nod.

"If whoever did that can do that again that would be amazing!" you ask and it immediately went off again.

"Woah, that's incre-" Sam starts to say, but the REM-pod started to go off.

"WOAH!" both the boys yell as Sam pans the camera to where the REM-pod is going off.

"Does that mean we are with more than one?" you ask and the EMF-reader goes off making you grin.

"I think we are here with Bianca and Drake guys" you smile looking around the room, it feels a little colder but not in a malicious way.

"I think you are right, lets get the Ovulis on and we can start to ask them some questions!" Sam directs as Colby nods and turns on the black yes or no box.

"Okay, Y/N do you want to ask first. They seem to like you the most!" Colby asks.

"Erm, Hi hello! We don't come here with any ill intentions and we just want to here you story, is that okay?" you ask and the box makes a sound before flicking to yes.

"Thank you for that, are we talking to Bianca and Drake!" Sam asks and nothing happens.

"Is this Bianca and Drake?" you repeat and the box flicks to yes.

"They are only talking to Y/N!" Colby laughs, you giggle a little bit too.

"You guys dont have to be scared of Sam or Colby, they are friends. They are the ones who brought me here to see you!" you smile and the box waits a while until it flicks to yes again.

"You guys are welcome to follow us for the rest of the night and keep us safe, will you follow us?" Colby asks and it again answers yes.

"Was that you that I saw outside earlier?" you ask thinking of the little blip you'd seen in the grounds as you'd first arrived here.

The box started to freak out, repeating no no no 3 times before a bang was heard up in the left corner near a different room. The camera pans to yours and Colbys open mouthed expression from the shock of how loud that was.

"What was that?" you ask, Sam and Colby wonder off to investigate where the noise came from, but couldn't find anything and they slowly came back.

"Nothing?" you asked looking between them and they nodded showing you the camera.

"I'm guessing that wasn't something nice I saw outside behind the house then...guess someone will have to go out there later" you say before putting your finger on your nose. Sam shortly follows before Colby looks at the both of you.

"Fuck guys!" he cries laughing before you guys end the investigation there and decide to head to the next location where you were going to attempt to use the flashlights, not only did the fans love them but you were super intrigued to see them work in real time.

You guys move into one of the upstairs bedrooms, it feels, not necessarily negative but just upsetting like something bad happened here that shouldn’t have.

You guys place the torches at either end of the room, one on each mantle facing towards each other.

“Okay, I guess we start” Colby says before Sam gasps and ruffles through the bag of objects.

“It’s mandatory now to have the cat call as well when we do these” Sam says placing a cat pall on the floor somewhere away from you guys to stop any confusion.

“If there are any spirits in this room that would like to talk to us, please turn on this blue flashlight by me” Colby asks and almost instantly the room lights up further thanks to the blue torch turning on.

“Holy shit that’s crazy! Wait like how does that work. Can I stand next to it if I keep my hands behind my back?” You ask and Sam and Colby look at each other before nodding. They film you as you inspect the torch seeing it in in fact just a regular torch, one that is on its own and seemingly doesn’t have anything about it that would make Sam or Colby seem like frauds.

“Can you please turn this torch off and then the Red torch on!” You ask and right in-front of you eye-line the torch flickers out. And as if something walked across the room to get to the other torch it turns on a few delayed seconds later.

“That’s sick!” You cry in excitement before apologising profusely to the ghost worried about insulting it with your excitement.

“Okay, are we in the room with Bianca and Drake?” Sam asks and both torches then turn on at the same time.

“Bianca are you at the blue torch?” Colby asks looking to the torch you were stood near and it turns out.

“No so Y/N is stood with Drake, and Colby is over there with Bianca” Sam instructs and both torches turn back on.

“They are very intelligent spirits, do you guys mind if we refer to you as that?” You ask politely and both turn of, meaning they didn’t mind.

“Is there something that scares you in this house” Colby asks and both the torches remain on.

“Is it Madison?” Colby pushes and both flashlights flicker as if they were on the edge of a yes and a no.

“Should we be scared of Madison?” You ask, and both stop there flickering and stay on.

“What about your ex-wife Vasilla. We know what she did” Colby asks looking in your direction and both flashlights turn on.

“Yes and no is pretty hard isn’t it?” You sigh looking around feeling sorry for the spirits answering all your questions.

“Mmm maybe it’s time for … the spirit box!” Colby says in a creepy voice making you laugh and cringe a little.

“Why’d you say it like that! Never do that again!” You cry looking over at him in shock.

“Mmmm you don’t like my creepy voice” he grins in a teasing manner coming closer to you looking down at you making you look down shaking your head with a laugh.

Taglist:

@richardsamboramylove55 @braveangel777 @rockwyu @jada-lockwood @itzdarling @h3arts4harry @lemonnightmare

[toomuchracket]

someone sent me the loveliest ask about bday party matty following girly around after tour ends that i accidentally deleted because i saved to drafts and couldn't edit on mobile SO i shall discuss it here. yes, you're right, he is without question in groupie mode (well, more so than usual lol) - after some, um, morning bedroom activities, he'll hover over you and kiss your nose like "so, my sweet girl, what's on your agenda today?", and when you tell him you've got an interview or a radio appearance or a signing he's like "that sounds fun. can i tag along, darling? i'll hold your handbag for you" lol bless him. and he's determined that everything is about you; he makes it so clear to the interviewers or presenters that "i'm only here in bf mode! it's my girl's moment! please don't mention me", but he caves a little when you pout and say "but i want to talk about you. half of these essays are about you", gives you a little nose kiss and says "well, alright, if you insist lol", which in turn makes you roll your eyes and say "bloody narcissist. but i love you!" lmao it's all very cute and fun. throughout the interview, he looks at you like you hung the moon, his eyes never leaving your face and his smile never leaving his - an audio clip from your radio interview goes viral because the host says "no wonder you're writing all these wonderful essays about being in love and being loved - the way your other half (matty tears up at this btw lol) looks at you, and has done the whole time we've been talking, i don't think anyone has ever been so loved as you are by him", and you get all blushy and bashful and giggly before you say "well, he has, by me", and the world seems to really love this little insight moment. and when you get home at the end of the day, matty's insistent on being the one to make dinner because "you've been working, darling, relax"; you sit in the kitchen while he cooks, mayhem at your feet and a glass of wine in your hand, and nothing has ever been so domestic and perfect. speaking of domesticity, actually - on your days off, the two of you have been rearranging the house somewhat. partially in prep for christmas decorations, but also partially because even though you moved in ages and ages ago you haven't really had the time to find the right places for all your things. matty had the kinda cute, kinda egotistical (thus, extremely him) idea of putting all your awards and most cherished writing bits in the same room as his music equivalents, so you've had to source appropriately nice bookcases for that to happen; the room looks so cool once it's finished, books interspersed with music scores and brits surrounding the booker nomination, and matty's like "you know, this is really fitting, given that we inspire each other so much. and it's also cool as fuck. like we really are the coolest couple on the planet" lol. he puts a desk in there under the guise of that being the best room to do video interviews from, but really it's so he has something to bend you over; of course thinking about the two of you being so hot and cool and accomplished gets him going, it's matty we're talking about lmfao. but really, at his core, he's a sweetheart completely in love with you - once you both got the christmas tree up and decorated, you tugged him into the kitchen like "ok, it's time. you said we were having chicken for dinner, yeah?", and matty nods in confusion and then gasps when he sees the potatoes and the baking tray and your seasoning mix on the counter like "wait, is this what i think it is? you're-" and you nod like "teaching you the roast potato recipe. this is it, healy, you're stuck with me forever now". and matty - crying, obv - just grabs your face and kisses you deeply, murmuring "can't fucking wait for that. i love you". cute as hell <3

[jaymari-lyn]

Okay, so since nobody is talking about it, I will

This apparently is supposed do be the opening of the first scene in season 5 and it brings up a lot of questions.

The first one being, who is the child? Cold wind and groaning trees makes sense since Hawkins is now sort of combined with the Upside-Down, but some child singing is a little odd.

By now, all the 'kids' in the show are well in their teens, so considering them 'children' wouldn't make a lot of sense. So, first my head goes to a flashback sequence.

It could possibly be a flashback of Eleven and the other kids from the rainbow room, but since last season was really focused on it, I don't it's going to be as central this season.

What I think it could be is a flashback to either Will in the Upside-Down back in season 1, OR a flashback with him and Mike as little kids.

If it's Will in the Upside-Down, it would make a lot of sense since we know Will used to sing when he was down there. So we could possibly be getting a flashback to Wills week in the Upside-Down, because this whole season is supposed to be about him, as well as a full circle moment back to season 1 for a lot of characters.

But another theory I like is that it's a flashback to Mike and Will when they first met. The cold wind and groaning trees could just interpreted as less creepy, and just more like fall Indiana weather, and the child's voice could be Will singing to himself on the swingset. I could be wrong, but it seems like Will used to use music as a way to cope or keep himself busy as a kid (with Jonathan while Joyce and Lonnie would fight, plus the Upside-Down, like I said earlier). If Will was all alone on the swingset with no friends as a kindergartener who probably missed his mom and brother, he might sing as a way to make himself feel better. We've seen bts photos of a playground with a swingset, so it is plausible. Another thing is maybe Will singing is what originally got Mike's attention, because let's be honest, he is super oblivious, and this is even before he gained his Will-is-upset instinct, so he most likely wouldn't notice Will unless he was doing something that would make him stand out. One more thing that I want to add is that Wills singing as a kid might have been what made him start getting bullied. Besides his appearance, what other things would have made the bullies or even Lonnie, for that matter, think he's gay? He may be on the smaller side, but lots of boys are, so why Will specifically. Back in the 80s singing (and take this with a grain of salt because I wasn't alive back then) probably would have been considered "girly", so that could have been one of the factors that got these assholes to start bullying him. And, you can notice that after season 2, Wills connections to music sort of dissappears. His love for it isn't really brought up that much, and we never see or hear about him singing in season 3 or 4, so it could have been him getting sick of bullying and trying to change himself to appear 'normal' to a heteronomative society that doesn't accept gay people. This flashback would also be, in turn, a great way to start introducing back Mike and Wills friendship, as well as their obvious live for one another.

Another thing , though, that can debunk that theory, is that it has to be a familiar song. The only one that really comes to mind for me is "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?", which didn't come out until '82, so it wouldn't line up time-wise for Will to be singing that when him and Mike were todlers in the 70s. If that's the case, I don't know what familiar song he could be singing.

If you guys can think of any other songs that would work time-wise, please let me know.

Personally, I think music is going to play a huge part in this final season, between Will's connection to it, and the fact that it's the only way to get away from Vecna once he is in your head (since music can reach aprts of the brain words can't)

But let me know your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

[miyuhpapayuh]

five.

Zora felt compelled to call her sisters up and get together, especially after the conversation she and Leon had, a few nights ago.

Meeting them at Snooze, they're at their usual spot, in one of the middle rounded booths.

“Hey y'all,” she greets, sliding in on the left side of Lovita.

“We know your secret.” They say in unison.

“What?” Zora asks, her lips barely parting.

“We. Know. Your. Secret.” Neoma repeats.

“Want us to spell it out, next?” Lovita asks.

“No, smart ass.”

“Alright, then spill it.”

“Okay fine, but it wasn't my fault!,” she whispers, “I was drunk! Nique said she'd keep quiet about the body!”

“What??” Lovita asks.

“A body?? You killed the man?!” Neoma whispers back, not knowing whether to laugh or be concerned.

“I had to. He was too pretty!” Zora whispers back.

“Would you two stop it!”

They fall into a fit of laughter, just as their waitress comes to take their drink orders; rummosas all around.

“Okay, you met a man, and apparently he's a good one?” Neoma asks.

“He seems to be, yeah. He's so sweet. So fine, my god y'all. So patient. He's got some soft ass lips.”

“Oh, you've kissed this man?” Lovita eyes her like an older sister would.

“A couple times, uh-huh.” She answers, making them gasp.

“Oh, you like him.” Lovita says.

“No, no. She likes him.” Neoma corrects.

“What's the difference?” Zora asks.

“Right, so how much did you drink and how much did you tell?”

Zora's sisters knew her like the back of their hands, especially Neoma. She was the most intuitive out of them all.

“Those buzz balls are like fifteen percent a gulp, I swear!” She defends against their groans of disapproval.

“Okay, we'll give you a pass on the alcohol. But, you're painting again, yay!” Lovita cheers, Neoma joining in.

“Yeah, it was kinda like another break the ice type of thing, not sure when I'll paint again.”

“How'd it go? I know you get a lil nervous, sometimes.”

“I was nervous as hell! But he's big on reassuring me that it's all good, and I needed that. Made it easier– took the pressure off a lil, ya know?”

“Sounds like quite the man!”

“Yeah, can we see him? You got pictures??”

Their drinks come out and their food orders get put in.

Zora flies to her camera roll, giggling before she turns the phone toward them, swiping through the pictures they'd recently taken together.

Some of them were cute, and others were cuter.

“Wow,” they say in unison, making her giggle all over again.

“I know!”

“Damn, he might be the prettiest man we've seen you with!” Lovita adds.

“I know!” Zora repeats. “Look at me, I'm evolving!” She laughs.

“That smile is killer, my goodness!” Neoma adds, before Zora pulls the phone away.

“Every time he smiles at me, I die a little.”

“Oh, girl. I bet!”

“So when do we get to meet him?”

“Uh… I need a little more time, but he's fond of you both, already.”

“Oh, we've been talked about??”

“Yes, I was telling him about my sarcasm gene and how it's one of a kind and that you two can attest, cause y'all are y'all, and I am me.”

Like clockwork, their eye rolls sync up and the bickering starts, making her chuckle.

“Here she goes!”

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“So, you got yourself a boo, huh?” Eryn asks Leon, handing him a bottle of water.

“What??” Their cousin, Damon, asked. “Leon got a boo??”

He chuckles with a shake of his head. “Yeah, man. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“It's not, don't take it like that. You just haven't had a girlfriend since Candy’s wild ass. I'm just a little shocked.”

“Yeah, well it's definitely not another one of those situations so I think I'll be okay, this time around.” He snorts, making them both join in.

“She was a mess, I tried to tell you.”

“He ain't heard nothing once he saw that ass on girly.” Eryn shakes her head.

“Anyway, y'all third degree over?”

“Just getting started, actually. Where'd you meet her?”

“At the flower shoppe. She could be a botanist if she really wanted to be. Naming flowers without so much as a glance in their direction, like she's mapped the whole place a dozen times.” Leon rambles, making Eryn smile.

“What a hobby! I love flowers!”

“You two will get acquainted, don't you worry,” he laughs.

“Okay! What does she look like?”

“She's about your height, curvy as all hell, mocha kisses skin– good lord, she is beautiful.” He stops himself, knowing he'd go on and on about her.

“What's her name?”

“Zora.”

“Wow, that's such a pretty name.”

“It matches her perfectly.”

“You in love, my guy?” Damon asks.

“No,” he shakes his head. “I really like her, though.”

“Does she really like you back?”

“Yeah, she does.” He smiles. “We've progressed a lot over the last couple weeks.”

“Aw, he's learning that these things do take time!” She claps, kissing her hand up to the ceiling.

“You are something else, Ryn.” He laughs.

“I'm just sayin’,”

“You're always just sayin’ something.” Damon interjects, catching an apple to the head.

“Ow!”

“Yeah, shut up.” She cuts her eyes at him, before turning back to her brother. “I'm just sayin’, maybe don't rush through, this time around. The way you light up when you talk about her, makes me think she's something seriously special, so treat her that way.”

“Precious cargo, I am. She's been teaching me about patience, just like you always do. I hear you, I promise.” He assures her, putting her at ease.

“Good. So have you kissed her, yet?”

“Yeah, I couldn't help myself.” He sighs, making them laugh.

“Aw, how sweet!”

“It was sweet, man! I felt like I kissed an angel.”

“Oh! And where have you and this angel gone, date wise? Yes, I'm being super nosy.”

“I've taken her all over. We went back to the flower shoppe, I took her her to What The Fries, cause she's never been and surprisingly she'd always wanted to go, so that was an extra pat on the back for me,” he smiles, nudging arms with Damon, “we've gone on several picnics, cause she's a nature girl and I'm all for sitting in some grass.”

“Country ass.” Damon snorts.

“Boy, fuck you.” He jabs with a laugh of his own.

“Have you taken her dancing?”

“That might be the only thing we haven't done— well, if dancing in her living room counts, then we've danced a couple dances.”

“Well, we’ll count those but you should take her to that place I was telling you about!” She snaps her fingers, trying to remember the name of the place.

“Flavor?” Damon asks.

“Flavor! Yes, everybody be down there!” Eryn claps, making them both laugh.

“Okay, okay. Next date, we’ll go dancing.”

“Ugh, take pictures or something!”

“Oh, you wanna see her? I've got pictures.” He says, pulling his phone from his pocket.

“If I smack him.” She stares at Damon, who just shakes his head.

“Leave me alone, y'all. I don't be thinking, sometimes.”

“We know.”

He slides the phone in her direction, telling her to swipe from the left.

“Wow, she's absolutely gorgeous! Ugh, I love her hair!” She squeals, swiping through to see a couple of her and Leon together, cheesing wide.

“Aw, you two look really good together!” She squeals, passing the phone to Damon.

“Thank you.” He smiles.

“Damn! She's breathtaking, my brotha.”

“You don't know the half, man.” He shakes his head with his eyes closed.

“Okay, I gotta know how you rolled up on shorty, cause she looks like she plays no games.”

“She don't. She actually fried my ass up a lil when I was talking to her, but ol Leon don't back down. Mama ain't raise no quitter.”

“Mhm, so what you say that made her feel different about you?”

“I'm an honest man and she appreciated that. Told her I wasn't on funny business and I wanted to take her out, and she let me know up front how things were gonna go. I listen, unlike some men.” He sideyes Damon.

“Don't start on me, man. What Keisha tell you??”

“Nothing. But you about to spill everything!”

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Zora was currently sitting in front of a blank canvas, when her phone started ringing.

A facetime call from Leon. She smiles and answers.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“Handsome. Wassup?”

“I was calling to beg for another date with you.” He says, making her laugh.

“Begging? I'm not that bad, am I?”

He smiles, shaking his head. “Nah, you're not bad. But I would love to take you dancing.”

“Aw, you tired of dancin’ in my living room?” She teases.

“Never that! I just feel like we might need more room to show off our moves, ya know?”

“Yeah, I hear ya. So where are we going?”

“There's this place called Flavor, my sister recommended it. She also told me to tell you hello, and that she thinks you're absolutely gorgeous.”

“Aw, she's too sweet! Tell her I said hello and thanks! And Flavor sounds fun, I'm down!”

“Great, are you off next weekend?”

“I am! I took Saturday off, cause ya girl be tired.”

“Well good, sleep til you can't no more and then we'll dance the rest of the day away. Sound like a plan?”

“Of course it does!” She agrees with a smile that matches his own.

Their playful banter continued on for about ten minutes, and then his mama called, making them reluctantly hang up.

“How's my boy?”

“Always good. How's my favorite lady?”

“Well I talked to Eryn and it seems like you've got yourself a girlfriend. Am I hearing that correctly?”

“Well, she's not my girlfriend, but we're working our way there.”

“Oh, okay! So tell me about her.”

He easily goes into his spiel about Zora, how beautiful, funny and intelligent she is. How her fire is his favorite attribute of hers.

“Sounds like your aunt Moonie.”

“I said the same thing, ma. I swear!” He exclaims, making her laugh.

“A spitfire, huh?”

“Yeah, she's not psycho or anything though. She's a sweetheart.”

“Well, when do we get to meet her?”

“I need a little more time.”

“No worries, son. But do make it before I gray all the way over,” she jokes.

Flashback.

Zora is at her easel like usual, painting away. Music blasting in her ears as she's in her zone.

It’d been a long day and she needed to destress in the ways she knew best.

And everything was going great, until he showed up.

Turning this light on, knocking this over, stepping over her materials that weren't even in his line of sight, just because.

“What you in here in the dark for?” He asks, but she can't hear him due to her headphones, which she points to.

“Take ‘em off your ear for a sec,” he says, before reaching and doing in himself. She snatches ‘em back before he removes them altogether.

“Yes, what do you need?” She asks.

“Wassup? Why you in the dark?”

“It's been a long day and I just needed to come home and sit and paint. My head hurts so I kept the extra light off. Could you turn it back off?”

“Nah.”

“Fine, I'll do it myself.” She gets up and cuts it right back off, beginning to move back to her easel when he steps in front of it, staring at the painting.

“What is this, Z?”

“Flowers, J.”

“They're ugly.” He snorts, looking over at her defeated expression.

“Thanks. I really appreciate that.” She responds, way too beaten down to argue with him.

“I'm just sayin’, maybe you need a new hobby or sumn.” He continues, making her brows scrunch together.

“Excuse me?”

“This shit blows. I'm tryna help you out, here.”

“You wanna help me by insulting me?”

“Constructive criticism, ain't that what they called it at that fancy ass school you went to?”

“You're just being rude, that's all you're doing right now.” She says, pulling the canvas away before he gets any ideas.

“Well shit, somebody had to tell you. Your mama loves everything you do and so do them sisters of yours. But I gotta be the voice of reason–”

“Oh my god, voice of reason?! Who asked you to do that?? Who asked you to be that?? I had the worst day at work and you're in here tearing me further apart over some fucking flowers? You can't even draw a stick figure and you're giving me advice?! Please get out.”

“Look Zora. Whether you like it or not, your shit is not good. I hate to be the one to break it to you.”

“I think you love to break shit to me. Makes you feel like a man or something, like you can't be a man in other ways— important ways. You'd rather go toe to toe with me, than listen to anything i'm actually saying.”

“I don't have time for this.” He says, making her sigh so heavily.

“Of course you don't. Why not just leave?” This is my apartment. Just go.”

“Fine. If I leave, I won't be back.” Is something he'd always say, but he always came crawling back to her with an apology and like the sad girl she was, she'd always take ‘em back.

Maybe this time would be different.

Who knew it would take another six months before she was finally done with his verbal abuse, lack of communication, concern and care.. amongst other things.

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Putting the finishing touches on her outfit, she steps back in front of Nique, doing her little twirl as she claps and whistles.

“Damn, girl. You look so good!”

“Thank you! I spent two days searching up and down prettylittlething.com and this little baby popped up, I almost— I screamed. I won't lie.” She squeals, twirling around in the hot orange number.

“I bet you did,” she laughs. “I love how you've got your hair, too!”

A half up, half down style worked beautifully with her curls as they bounced above her shoulders.

“Thanks! The hair goddesses were on my side, yet again!” She kisses up to god, before spraying her bergamot and vanilla perfume again.

“You don't think that's enough?”

“Can you smell it??”

“Yes! Put it away, before you start a fire!” She half jokes.

“Jesus,” Zora huffs, placing the bottle back on her dresser just as the doorbell rings.

If it weren't for the deep slit in her dress, she woulda been able to fake out the tremble in her knees.

“Sis, are you nervous?” She asks, totally surprised.

“I— I just might be!” She laughs, as they head down the hall towards her door.

Blowing out a breath, she opens the doors and the air is knocked right back out of her lungs, and she isn't alone as he takes a moment of his own to drool at the sight before him.

“Hi,” she greets, kicking one leg in front of the other.

“Hey,” he greets back, taking her hand into his to kiss the back, making her blush.

“You look amazing,” comes from them both, making them laugh at each other and Nique clears her throat.

“Leon, this is my dearest, bestest friend Nique. Nique, this is the infamous Leon.” She introduces, watching them shake hands.

“You're much taller than I thought,” she blurts, making Zora shake her head.

“I get that a lot,” he chuckles. “It's nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise! It's about time we crossed paths. Now tell me, how much trouble has she gotten you into so far?”

“Oh, we're about waist deep, right Zora?”

“We’ll be up to our necks, after tonight.” She winks.

“Oop— well, let me get on outta here and let y'all get y'all's night started! I hope it's wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Zora says, hugging Nique before she opens the door back up. “I'll call you tomorrow.”

“You better,” she whispers, waving at Leon, “it was nice meeting you. Treat my girl great!”

“Of course, it was nice meeting you too.” He responds, before she leaves.

“You look absolutely stunning, mama.” He compliments, twirling her around as the frills on her dress flow about.

“Thank you, handsome. You look really good, yourself. I like this shirt.”

“Thank you. My sister helped me pick it out.”

“She did a good job!”

“I'll be sure to tell her so she can gloat about it,” he chuckles. “You ready to dance the night away?”

“Absolutely.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Out of all of my options, you'll be the top one

Baby, you got one-up

Get me high, get me louder

Damn, all that power I want you much too much

That sure do get me high

To God, oh, what I'm feeling

Well, you decide

'Cause, baby, all summer

They been all on my heels

I just need to know that if I pull up, you gon' be there 'cause you talkin' real, real And I don't wanna wonder

If you doin' side deals

I don't trust nobody, but that body keep on callin' me

(It got me roaming through these empty streets)

Thinkin' you ready for love

A strong hand at her back and a dainty one on his shoulder with their other hands clasped together, the two glide across the floor with ease, earning a few whistles from other couples.

“See, you're a natural!” Zora teases Leon, who swears he has two left feet.

“I'm only this good when I'm dancin’ with you,” he chuckles. “You know I got two wrong feet.”

“Lord,” she rolls her eyes as he twirls her once more, pulling her back to him.

“That your favorite move?” She asks, losing her breath from being so close to him.

“Mmhm,” he pecks her lips, starting a wildfire across her cheeks while they continue to sway.

“How's the last couple days been?” She asks, staring up at him.

“Hectic.” He huffs. “I got into it with one of my boys at work, which pissed me off cause he's usually pretty chill.”

She frowns. “It made it awkward, huh?”

“For him. I get my work done, regardless. It just slows us down cause now he acts like I gotta go through somebody else to give him information, and I'm not doing that.” He shakes his head, moving his other hand to her back now.

“Don't let ‘em push your buttons. I hate when people act like they're too important or butthurt to be bothered. It always boils over to them just being a jackass.”

“You're right,” he nods, laughing as she shoots him a look that screams “I know!”.

“What about you? I know you were a little more tired than usual.”

“Oh yeah, it gets super busy at the restaurant and those customers just lose their minds from time to time.. to time.” She sighs with a laugh. “It just took a little more outta me than I expected. But I'm okay!”

“Yeah? You sure?” He asks.

“Yeah, if I fall asleep on you, just splash some water on me,” she shrugs, instantly cracking up at his expression. 

“I'm joking, Leon!”

“I'm not too sure,” he squints. “Splash some water on you. We'd get you tucked in, before that happens.”

“Aw, ever the gentleman.”

“You know I do my best for you,” he humbly responds, making himself even cuter to her.

“Can I tell you something?” She asks, knowing she should hold her tongue.

“Of course.”

“I like you, Leon.”

He flashes that beautiful smile, and thank god he was holding onto her so tight or she surely woulda hit the floor.

“I like you too, Zora.”

The butterflies in her belly do a dance similar to the two-step she and Leon are doing, making her feel fuzzy and warm.

Unfortunately her pretty mules turned on her about an hour ago, forcing them to move from the dance floor, to a tiny rounded booth off to the left side of the place.

Were her feet pulled into his lap, while she sipped her margarita and danced in her seat to the music? Yes.

Was she enjoying every minute? Absolutely.

“So I feel compelled to tell you a little story.” She starts, and he's all ears.

“You know I'm listening,” he smiles.

“I know,” she smiles back. “It's not a nice story, but I won't get too sad on you.”

“Oh, is this about your ex?”

“Yeah, that rotten bastard.” She sneers, making him snicker.

“Seriously! He was a hater. He'd come home just to piss me off, I swear. Never a good full day, ever. Never any concern above his own. And it wasn't always like that, ya know? It's like he woke up one day and just started hating me.”

His brows furrow. “Who could hate you?”

“Ya know, I would ask myself what I did. Hell, I even asked him and he'd always tell me that I was trippin. Thinking too much into him dashing away my dreams, leaving more on my plate than not, shutting me out. You name it.”

“You're right, he was a hater.” He frowns. “Who the hell does that someone they care about?”

“I tried so hard to figure that out, that I made myself sick over it and him. I mean, imagine just graduating from college, working at a rundown job and your boyfriend comes home just to tell you that you should find a new hobby, a new lifestyle and a little bit more money because he wasn't gonna sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. Said he was my voice of reason.”

“Sounds like he needed an ass kick off that high horse he was on.” Leon says, shaking his head.

“Ugh! I can't tell you how many times I told him that. But, it never mattered what I said, cause he never listened. Plus, I'd take him back every time he'd crawl back to me.” She sighs.

“Don't beat yourself up about that, Zora. You just wanted him to do better. We all hit the wall, sometimes. You realized at some point that he wasn't gonna change and you left, yeah?”

“Yeah. It might've taken me a minute, but I did leave his ass alone. After I beat it.” She laughs, making him join in.

“I'm sure that was hilarious!”

“Nique has the video if you ever wanna see it.” She adds, going back to sipping on the fruity drink.

“Definitely taking you up on that.” He nods, reaching out to twirl a curl around his finger.

“I'm glad you shared with me. I won't be a bad story to add to your collection, I promise.” He says, making her smile.

“I'm starting to believe that. I really am.”

“Good.”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Carrying Zora all the way inside her apartment, he closes and locks her door behind them and sits her on the sofa.

“Thank you,” she sighs, sliding her feet out of her mules and rubbing her feet over her plush rug. “I hope I wasn't too heavy.”

“Light as a feather, baby.” He assures, kneeling down beside the couch to be level with her.

“Baby, huh? That's me?” She asks.

“If you wanna be.”

“Oh, I wanna be.” She replies, making them both laugh.

“Good. Cause I wanna be yours, too.”

Moving from his kneeled position, he sits beside her on the couch, reaching for her hand to pull her closer to him.

“I had fun, like always.” She smiles, kissing him again.

“Me too, like always.” He replies, returning the gesture.

“So, where we goin’ next, handsome?”

“Still on the fence about meeting my people?” He asks.

“No, not anymore. I'd love to meet ‘em.”

“Great,” he smiles, linking their fingers. “Cause I gotta meet these sisters of yours. Mama, too.”

Ch 6

@sheabuttahwrites @thegifstories @blackerthings @blackpinup22 @twistedcharismaaa @abeautifulmindexposed @nayaxwrites @cecereads209 @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @ghostfacekill-monger @blowmymbackout @chaneajoyyy @awerkofart

[ugh-yoongi]

Why limit this discourse to just Seokjin? I'm proposing a what kinks you think BTS have list.

So curious.

this came through in the middle of my regularly-scheduled 5pm on a friday work emergency, so thank you for the distraction.

i have crowdsourced some responses to this from @hot-soop bc she is the resident astrology girlie and once got super drunk and did a 30 minute powerpoint presentation about this exact topic. it was art.

sadly the powerpoint is "somewhere in the abyss" but we've got some thoughts under the cut.

kim namjoon

size kink bc of the "likes cute and small things" comment

old reliable aka the impreg kink is on the backburner since he's now undecided about children, but i think a well-timed "daddy" will still do it for him. sorry daddy haters

confusing list of kinks bc on one hand he's mr. terabyte harddrive full of porn and on the other hand he goes to feminism class, so even he might not know what he likes. very experimental

bee says he leans dom. i can see it. he's also in charge of everyone else all the time so would appreciate someone else taking the reins for once. firm switch for me

aftercare! lots of it!

spanking

kim seokjin

already discussed but probably the most "vanilla" of them all but not in a bad way, the man just knows what he likes.

canon: likes choking and getting handcuffed

also canon: takes nudes on a polaroid, so do with that what you will

also also canon: brat tamer seokjin, even though i personally think that'd be a pretty uncommon headspace for him

wants very reciprocal, equal sex, so i can see him getting very into mutual masturbation

but sex has to be fun!

noise!! sounds!

orgasm control

min yoongi

bee told me once degradation would make him cry in the shower (and then i wrote it anyway) so not that but she is the yoongi expert so the following are all from her:

spontaneous sex bc he finds the most random shit sexy. like his partner could just be making dinner and he’d fuck them on the counter (aries venus)

switch - depends on the day and how much he’s had to call the shots at work already

bondage! shibari! breath play!

group sex but also 🥰 in love 🥰 sex

caretaking

sad sex - he’d find that shit romantic or whatever. but also really rough sex. seriously the aries venus/cancer mars are TOTALLY DIFFERENT so mans all over the shop

cum eating, cuckolding, voyeurism, somnophilia

jung hoseok

said this before but ASS! PLAY! i would put that in 128pt font bolded and underlined if i could

kinky af bro, show me an aquarius who isn’t secretly into some stuff

anonymous sex, fantasy (vampires, elves, tentacles - whatever)

sex toys ranging from dildos to sex swings to nipple clamps

voyeurism

orgasm denial

role-playing

cuckolding

if he gets all of that with someone who loves him, then that gets him off the most (pisces venus uwu)

dirty talk

exhibitionism

park jimin

i have been instructed to include this part of the powerpoint:

jimin has scorpio venus AND scorpio mars

anyone human would probably die after fucking him

forbidden love, marking, ANGST to the nth degree, angry passion driven sex, anything that would make him and/or his partner cry is a win in his books. BDSM babyyyyy, sex addiction (not hyperbole), group sex, being hated by someone fucking him gives him a little thrill

another one in the ass play column

double penetration

praise & humiliation

latex/rubber/lingerie

kim taehyung

furry. absolute furry

foot fetish

dom energy

give HIM aftercare even if he just wrecked your entire shit

sensory deprivation

voyeurism

jeon jungkook

just said he likes brats but he is THE brat so good luck y’all

praise him please

teasing, degradation if you’re nice about it

everything in excess, namely orgasms & partners

soft fuckboi vibes

lingerie

piercings!! genital/nipple

most of this was from bee so everyone go follow her thank u

[cousticks]

hmmm...excluding yosano and kyouka, who is your favourite bsd girl character?

Favorite characters in general is always a tough one for me, but I'll ramble about a few of the girlies because I just adore them.

Absolute favorite is probably Kouyou, hands down. She's just really interesting to me. She has this past of dreams being shot down, but she now has enough power she could probably leave the mafia if she wanted to, but has found her own place there now. She's not the scared little girl that ran away anymore. In a way, she's content there. She didn't want to see Kyouka get broken down the same way she did, and again. If Kouyou found her footing in the mafia, couldn't Kyouka be happy there too? (The answer is no. Some flowers bloom in darkness, but not all, of course.) In a way she kind of parallels Verlaine and Kyouka with Chuuya, where in trying not to let their younger mirrors experience the same pain they did, they're inflicting a whole new set of violence and agony on them instead. And so the cycle repeats. She... kind of sucks, but she's so interesting and has really muddied motivations and morals that I love to unpack.

Gin is nonbinary in my heart, but since as far as canon goes she's a girl, I'll include her because I love her very much. Especially Beast!Gin, who's the most functional out of any mafia character in that damn novel. Shout out to her specifically for keeping her shit (mostly) together. I love her in the normal universe too, though. She's not overshadowed by being Akutagawa's little sister, she's managed to carve her own path. Especially as someone so surrounded by powerful ability users, she's so impressive. It takes a truly incredible assassin to hold your own in that kind of world, and she does far more than just hold her own. She's intelligent and resourceful and still manages to have a life for herself outside of the mafia, too. Good for her.

In the realm of ability-less younger siblings: Naomi. I'll be honest her canon character gives me hives whenever her brother is around and I try to ignore, well, you know. But when you look at her actions, that girl is damn intelligent and crafty. And has the potential to be a masterful manipulator. She's not the ditz she pretends she is, and I'd love to see more of her resourcefulness one day. She's clever. She picks up on things. I like her as her own character and hope she can stop being the butt of a joke long enough to see her skills put to use.

I can't talk about girls without my favorite girlboss girlfail Higuchi. I just love her in general. You know that post about girls feeling more confident/better in general when they have a sword in their hand? I feel like thats Higuchi with her guns. We've seen her show skill with multiple arms with ease, she can bait people into a trap no problem, is a dedicated and trusted mafia member, and if she could work on her self confidence as an independent operative could be something so so special (even though she already is.) She cares about people. But she's also so shoot-first-ask-questions-later that she messes it up. She definitely reads trashy romance novels in her free time and I hope she has the time to reread all her favorites. Adore her.

[abluehappyface]

Hello There! We're The Smiley System!

A group of 3 that's recently just discovered their plurality!

Here you'll possibly be talking to:

Bri, the person this body truly belongs to. Goes by She/Her and talks in pink. Very older sister/somewhat maternal coded. Speaks like most older sisters from what she's been told. She can be shy, but she's trying her best we promise

Bluey, the second person formed in this system. Has been around for 5 years, but we didn't realize until now. He/Him, speaks in Blue. Distant yet loving father/older brother who's a tough guy (is a big softie) coded. He doesn't talk much, but he's very good at listening

Desirée, the newest to the system. Has influenced us for years, but only recently discovered. Uses They/Cir/Eir pronouns. Chaotic queer coded person who's basically a YTP in the form of a person. Types in both Yellow and Orange

Things We Like!

Bri's into very cute/girly things. You'll see a lot of doll customization, Moriah Elizabeth, and really anything that's typically associated with girls in general when she's primarily in control. She also likes to draw clothes!

Bluey likes video games. Fire Emblem, Danganronpa, Pokémon, and The Sims are his main ones, but EVERYONE in the system is currently hyperfixating on Touhou Project. He also likes woodworking and drawing fantasy weapons

Desirée likes generalized chaos. Just utter nonsense. If it reads like a YTP combined with a standard Tumblr post, they're likely laughing about it. Likes to draw desserts and nonexistent food. Everyone in the system draws animals and people.

General Rules

Absolutely NO syscourse, discourse, or ANYTHING of the sort.

This is all inclusive space for everyone. If you personally don't understand or like something, it is YOUR responsibility to curate your online experience

You may see some nsfw stuff here. If you don't like that, see the second half of point 2

You may send us asks and questions, and we will attempt to answer as best we can. Please be respectful, and know that we are not required to answer anything. Anon is also off, we aren't entertaining the idea of anon hate thanks

This may sound... odd, but maybe send some things for us to research? We like making presentations because it's fun! Try to keep it considerably tame, but just send a topic and we can try to learn about it. Can you tell we're autistic lol

We make edits/recolors, drawings, and poems! If you want to know something, just ask! Depending on what it is you ask, we may even make one for you!

Have a good time here! This blog tends to be a hangout space, especially for newer users we've noticed. Stay safe, and welcome!

[foster-the-world]

And we are off

My husband has the kids at a state nature preserve while I packed and cleaned up the house. All done and enjoying twenty glorious minutes alone on the couch. My Aunt/Uncle, cousin and their two friends are staying while we are gone. NYC rent is too expensive to leave this place empty. My Aunt is so excited. She's had a rough year so I'm glad she'll will get some fun in.

I cannot wait to be swimming at the hotel pool tmrw. For some reason I'm feeling confident about baby boy flying. The flight to California was a true disaster but I think we've figured it out now. Fingers crossed I'm not in denial.

My husband's boss is leaving. They immediately offered him the position. He doesn't really want to take it. Its a big pay raise but will be longer hours at work. He would still be able to leave the office at 5pm but would be up after the kids go to bed working. There is no part of me that feels like either of us have more hours to spare. Baby boy is really draining all of our energy and its still very unclear what supports he will need in the future. At the same time, it will be hard to turn down the extra pay. He is very lucky to get a full pension based on his three highest years pay (thank you govt work in a liberal state). He can retire at 57 - so its not money just for the next few years but for the next 30 + years. I mean this most likely won't be his last promotion but every step upward counts. If he passes away the pension passes to me. Current employees don't get these benefits - he got in right before they changed the rules. He's been there 20 years now. He/we will have the entire vacation to think about it. Nice either way that they offered it to him. He's also had this amazing boss forever. I'm warning him how miserable his life can get if he gets a bad boss.

Baby boys been behaving very well for the past two days. Maybe he's maturing?? Maybe he just has good and bad days?? He is so damn cute. Last night I told him I was taking the girls somewhere. He goes "Oh, okay. You go Japan???" HA! HA! No kid. The next trip to Japan you are coming.

The girls begged to have a pedicure before vacation. I took them last night. Said it was a treat for doing so well in school. Very cute/fun. Bee is so much more girly then I am.

Foster agency is sticking to making us be re-certified. I can't think about it until we are back. Of course, no one has given us an adoption date so no idea when we need to get the trainings over with. Such a massive waste of time.

Baby boys therapies need to be switched from Department of Health to Dept of Education now that he turned three. After a month of pestering, they sent me a list of over 200 evaluation places throughout the city. I called over 20. None have evaluation appts before October. I put us on all of the waiting lists. Will probably try to pay out of pocket for OT, PT, etc until he is adopted and he can go on our private insurance. Its unGodly expensive. Need to figure out what services will help him. A little lost honestly. Weight vests, weighted blankets, crash pads, sensory toys, brush techniques? Will these things help him?? Do we have room for those things (=No). Need to start videoing when he's really unregulated. One-on-one in an OT office is not going to show what we are talking about. Of course, the foster agency doesn't bother responding to my emails related to any of these services. The medical lady used to be the one consistently competent person at the agency. She moved on and of course the new person is useless.

[leqclerc]

how are you feeling about all of this (ferrari mess). I'm in a paradoxal state where I'm happy there's no race today, because less disappointment, but also I need a race and a good result of charles, because that dnf still stinks and now of these firing people news and the idea of ferrari being a huge unstable mess right now. I just really would like to see a charles podium at least

Honestly... I have mixed feelings about all of this 🙃

I think there's a lot of contradictory and fear-mongering press coming out that's definitely preying on the post-Bahrain panic fest. I've spoken to an Italian mutual who confirmed that Italian journos know that Charles sells so they tend to put him in on the front page of their newspapers every time something happens in Ferrari, even when there's not actually anything to talk about. We're just going from one extreme to another: first Charles is too passive to be a true leader at Ferrari, and now he's some kind of workplace hitman handing out termination of employment letters left and right. First Vigna's a key figure in ousting Binotto and getting Vasseur in as the replacement, and now those two have major beef and trust issues. After, what, three months? First Vasseur says there will be "marginal changes" to the organisation of the race team, and now it sounds like half the staff is on the way out. You get the idea.

I think the most concerning rumour for me personally is the one about Mekies. It was just recently announced that he will be focusing on "team operations," while Vasseur as team principal will be responsible for drivers, sponsors and the media. He's basically the right-hand man. Just two months ago Jean Alesi was saying that Mekies is going to be the guy Vasseur will be relying on to get him up to speed and take some of that load off of him. Remember what happened last time we had a TP who tried to take on way too many roles all by himself? 🙃 I'm just imagining the Ferrari pitwall shrinking to a Haas size 😭😭😭

The thing is, if they were clearing out all this technical staff (maybe they're choosing to resign of their accord like Sanchez, whichever) to make way for intriguing outside hires—and I mean heavy hitters poached from Mercedes or, even better, Red Bull, then that would be something. As it stands, it seems that Aston is the place to be right now. Plus, most of these engineers and other highly-rated technical staff are Anglophones and/or based in England, so obviously it's less of a bother for them to move to the factory down the road than it is to uproot their families and move to Maranello. It would have to be a seriously enticing offer, they'd have to see some real potential in the Ferrari project to make such a major move. Right now the only real contenders I'm hearing about are ex-Ferrari staff who've been rotated out to Haas and Sauber. So I'm not sure how much of an improvement that's going to be, at least in the short-term.

Then, obviously, all this news about instability and tension and resignations and all of that is just inspiring more negativity and defeatism, and a lot of people are already calling this year a write-off because of all the changes and transitions. I guess all we can do now is wait until some real, actual, confirmed news comes out from reliable sources (i.e. the team) and just see how Ferrari does on the performance side as the season goes on. I mean, it's been one race 😭😭😭😭😭 and with all the drama it feels like we've been in the trenches for literal months already. 🫠

Also ngl it's been really annoying to see the Twitter girlies just sitting there going "well I could do a better job than this guy, hire me instead 😤" and then in the literal next sentence they're admitting they don't even know what the actual position entails. I mean 😭😭😭😭

Agreed, I think a Charles podium, ideally in Saudi, could be a much-needed boost.

[lolexjpg]

dts s5 e3-5

e3: -"i am perfect 🥰" fuck u know what sometimes the charles leclerc charm does get to me ngl -"breaking america is very important" OH IS IT. let andretti join then -i'll say it. miami isn't that bad. you can critisize the consumerism of it all without being so anti-america yall -fuck caitlyn jenner but her gushing to christian horner abt how great it is that ferrari is winning is iconic -i did watch this season but i did after the fact /knowing/ max was gonna win in the end. its sorta hitting me how it did really look like, oh my god, charles could really win here. just lookin at his lil face thinking how much did he get his hopes up. how much did i hurt, watching it slip away. how do u even handle that emotionally -i know i've talked abt this before but when i was binging the 2022 season i got super drunk before/while watching miami and when i woke up in the morning i remembered basically nothing other than carlos taking his shirt off (priorities). i watched the race highlights sober and was surprised by the lando crash. lol -if anything this rewatch is putting me back in my max girlie era. chomp chomp chomp. and/or i'm ovulating. combination of both -cannot wait for padel game 2023 edition on dts. it will be superior i know it -i do think its wierd that theyre framing (trying to) prioritize charles as a mean thing to do when its exactly what merc did in 2021 for lewis and it was 100% necessary both times. the guy who said 'ferrari won with the wrong car' wasnt wrong thats just how this shit works!!! -idk why dts couldn't just explain that max has non terminal but non fixable damage and thats why he was so damn slow. i feel like it wouldve been so easy to just mention. give context to why he couldnt get back up there -i dont think having multiple episodes focus on the same race from different perspectives is the worst thing ever, but i do think they fucked it up here by having the silverstone episodes back 2 back 2 back...... at least mix it up a lil. put another episode inbetween so we've forgotten by the time its being rehashed is it rly that hard

e4: -"i would've fucked the whole paddock" you know what maybe gunther IS iconic. maybe i will miss him a lil -i'm not a mick girlie but he is such a sweet boy. gunther count ur days :) -being reminded that michael and jos were teammates is such a jumpscare. how did that happen -"its not about proving them wrong, its about proving yourself right." HES SUCH A SMART N WISE LIL BOY. MWAH MWAH MWAH -that was a legitimately terrifying high speed crash. like a crash is a crash but the way that car got torn up is insane -STAY AWAY FROM OLLIE BEARMAN BTW -kevin supporting mick is So Important like an older sibling trying to break the cycle w/ a shitty parent. kevin i love u -ALSO underrated ship. btw -respectfully. as someone who knows nothing abt cars. if the haas keeps having problems splitting in half during crashes mayb. its a car issue. just a thought -faldskjfalksjf but this monaco crash: thinkin abt during the race, kevin had a mechanical dnf nearly the same time, so when the camera cut from mick's smashed car to kevin standing on the side of the track, looking disappointed, there was legitimate confusion on who fucking crashed. anyway that goes to show MAYBE THE CAR IS JUST SHIT -sebmick. is indeed. important -i love the way mick thinks his name is only a blessing. i just love seeing other people be brutally positive in the face of adversity bc its what i aspire to try to do too. its a good mindset to have i hope he is doin well now <3 -small children humbling tf out of christian horner is so important actually -i'm so glad daniel knew what he was worth with haas. i'm so glad they couldn't damn afford him. as he should 💅 -mick & max ALSO underrated ship. this man is so shippable -i am glad max n mick got to have this lil battle tho. they got to have what their dads predicted finally :)

e5: -ok so this is actually the most recent dts episode ive seen since before i started the rewatch, right after otmar got fired i watched it as a fun lil victory lap. this'll be fun lets goooooooo -otmar as a man is such a walking ick. even if i dislike other TPs at least they dont give me the ick. thats the second most unforgivable crime otmar has committed -i'm sorry the way otmar left AM bc he didnt like lawrence as a boss only to sign up to work for LAURENT ROSSI????? u have to laugh -i've said it before and i'll say it again nando n estie were fucking raw 100% -even if mclaren continued to be shit and alpine didn't implode oscar still made the right choice bc CLEARLY otmar was keen on keeping the nandoestie lineup for as long as fucking possible. and then he gets mad when oscar realizes that and bails??? i hate this man sm -'je m'appelle yuki. merci' iconic dts quote. yall if dts didnt exist we wouldnt have this be grateful -ok. so i know when this season came out this whole dando in the parking garage bit got some heat bc apparently that was not at paul ricard like the episode implies. but honestly. listen. netflix got a fun lil moment with daniel and lando. they didnt have anywhere else to put it. was there really any harm with having it squeezed in there. its not like ppl thinking theres a parking garage at paul ricard is super damaging misinformation. pls find real solid criticisms of dts instead of this kinda bitchin and moanin THANK U -HI SEBCHAL CRUMBS -ok um. not 2 tinhat here but i know dts got some heat for not having enough women in this season. did they go back and add these bits with jennie gow after she recovered from her stroke i dont remember her being here. its fine i just dont particularly like how netflix can go back n change shit -i hate birthdays i get so much second hand cringe from this. if i never get sung happy birthday again ever in my life that would be ideal -how many times has nando left and gone back to renault/alpine? god its like a girl who wont stop getting back together with a cheating bf and then being surprised when he cheats again oh fernando left ur team WATER IS WET BABES -ok what i'm getting is otmar is bad at getting contracts finalized in a timely manner and maybe this is his damn fault :) -'lets show him he made the wrong choice' you have to laugh ladjfaklsjdfaljd

[rainparadefromhell]

tw// LOL a think piece by me about daxton and s3 expectations (it is long bc i am bored and extremely opinionated)

(if you are a daxton fan please try reading with an open mind as i am making commentary on tv romance and ship dynamics on a broader scale than just why i dislike your ship. at the end of the day we are all here to have fun and it is perfectly fine to like whatever you like!)

Putting all of my anti daxton jokes aside, I would actually love to see Mindy handle their storyline with respect and their, in my opinion unavoidable break up, with some cleverness. I don't hate Paxton and I don't wish him any harm, just to clarify!

I know nhie is a comedy show and its point isn't to make some big commentary on romantic high school relationships but i think it is a great opportunity to show young impressionable people that you shouldn't hide the parts of yourself to win over someone's affection. You shouldn't change for them or just want to be with them because of societal pressures. I am team benvi but I do realize that Devi isn't ready for a relationship and her ending up single would be fine with me. What I do not stand for is this horrible notion in teen rom coms and rom coms in general that portrays girls and women like some desperate for love, would do anything to get it creatures. I will say this description does suit Devi for now - she is a (young!) nerdy, insecure and traumatized girlie that just wants a boyfriend. Ain't nothing wrong with that! And ain't nothing wrong with having a kind of superficial relationship when you are that young. I do understand that. But if we are taking the longevity of the show into account, I want to see Devi mature and learn.

And maturing means understanding that you ARE deserving of love AND respect! This is not to shame Paxton, he is a kid as well but why aren't we teaching young women what it means to love and be loved? And not even love, just how to feel respected in a relationship, even a silly high school one. How much time it takes and sacrifice, yes, but not at the expense of losing yourself in that person. Why aren't we teaching young men how not to feel pressured by your friends to obtain an image? I see that a lot among boys. The feeling like you can't share your feelings and that masculinity means pretending like you don't care about anything and that nothing fazes you.

Imagine if the show went in deeper into THOSE topics and not just have Paxton have one panic attack and 3 days later he is magically okay. This is where I fail to connect to his character and I would argue that that is not his fault. I just don't understand how the same writers that wrote these three amazing characters with the most depth in the show (Devi, Ben and Nalini) won't do that for the rest of them (there is probably not enough time but c'mon Paxton is a pretty big character).

I also see a lot of discourse about daxton and the idealization of their relationship from young people (not all of them are young of course but I am talking about influencing young people here) and it makes me sad sometimes. Not because I look down on them (bc i ship benvi) but because this trope, if you will, is all over media. We've seen it a million times. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the message that it's "cute" to pine over someone that isn't really that interested. That the crumbs that this person gives you sometimes are acts of love or romance (like climbing through your window to make out or saying "Damn Devi are you really gonna make me say it" when asked if you are committed, or showing up with your tail between your legs at a dance). I'm sorry but that isn't romantic and shouldn't be viewed as such! It is teaching young girls to settle and conform if they want love. And that is absolute bullshit! You are deserving and perfectly able to find someone that is going to communicate with you in a healthy way and treat you the way you want to be treated. And this goes both ways! Devi should communicate all the issues and things that bother her to Paxton!

It would be fine and I wouldn't be writing this now if Devi is a type of girl that is fine with being casual and not putting much effort and passion into things. But she is not and that is where Paxton and Devi's love languages will probably never meet in the middle. And that's okay! As long as they realize that in s3 and talk about it and end things with no hard feelings. Devi now understands what she wants in a relationship and even better how to ask for it. This would be my perfect ending for s3.

(i need to take a break from the nhie tag now like i've got actual college papers to do lol-)

[lovinkiri]

Your families with Kirishima, Bakugou, Midoriya, and Todoroki

Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Shoto Todoroki x Reader

Katsuki Bakugou

You and Katsuki have a daughter and are trying for another!

Your daughter, Akari, is just as rambunctious as her father!

Just a bit less angry. Just a bit 🤏🏾

But she definitely has his attitude!

And his red eyes ❤❤❤

Unlike Katsuki, she openly adores her mother tho and looks up to you

"Mama! I wanna be just like you!"

"What about me?!"

"I said Mama, not Daddy 😒"

Can't even glare at her because he can't find it in his heart.

Oh, and she's just as excited for having another addition to the family as you are!

"Daddy, give Mommy a baby already."

Of course she has no idea what giving mommy a baby really means 😏

"Oi, I'm tryin' my best here, kid."

"Try harder."

"... Alright."

Oh you're in for it.

But no matter how much she goes back and forth with him, she really loves him.

And he loves her back.

They practically do everything together.

Brush their teeth, eat, clean.

He even helps train her quirk.

And at night, he holds her and mumbles the sweetest things to her.

"You make Daddy's life so much brighter, you know that?"

Overall, he loves you guys and can't wait to knock you up again 😈

Izuku Midoriyau

You and Izuku have a son and are actually expecting!

Your son, Hiro, is the most adorable thing!

He has Izuku's freckles 🥺

And he's extremely shy, usually stays by you guys.

When you go out, he's holding both of your hands.

When he meets new people, he hides behind you.

Has a tendency to hide his face in your necks 😂

"Hiro, c'mon, say hi to the nice woman."

"No thank you Mommy, I'm okay."

You can't help but laugh as Izuku apologizes.

Hiro's actually a very curious child tho, especially about the bump in mommy's tummy.

"How did that happen, Mommy?"

"Well.. Me and Daddy decided to give you a baby sister remember? So she's resting in there until she's ready to come out. She's shy like you."

He gives your stomach a very serious stare before hugging it.

Both you and Izuku just melt and he gets a picture.

"M' gonna protect you, okay baby sis?"

You damn near fainted from the cuteness.

Izuku definitely tells him made up hero stories at night.

You've got him writing some stories in his book.

"Oh, yeah! I wanted to read them to Hiro!"

🥰🥰🥰

Izuku is excited for the new baby and loves all of you very much.

"Daddy will always love you guys, okay Hiro?"

"Mkay! And I can protect Mommy and baby sis, just you someday!"

Shoto Todoroki

You and Shoto have twins, a boy and a girl.

Yuki, your daughter, and Natsuhiko, your son.

Yuki has white hair and Natsuhiko has red.

Those two are troublemakers when you two aren't looking.

"Who put a frog on your teacher's desk?"

Yuki pouts her lips. "It wasn't us, Mommy."

Natsuhiko nods and grabs your hand.

Shoto doesn't even need to give a stern look, he just raises an eyebrow and they're confessing.

Of course, under your instruction, they apologize to their teacher.

You and Shoto also apologize.

Thankfully, the teacher actually thought it was funny.

You and Shoto definitely talk to them at home.

But they're such good children at home 🥰

They do their chores, they're very polite.

Little Angels 😇

Yuki is definitely the more mischief one, her brother being the quieter one who goes along for the ride.

But despite the trouble they get in, Sho loves them dearly.

He definitely plays games with them.

"I think I'm finally starting to understand, Candy Land. The objective is to be the first to reach the castle, yes?"

"Daddy, we've been playing for an hour and you won almost every time."

He simply moves his piece forward.

But they love you guys too!

They're always trying to make you proud!

"Look, Mommy! Daddy! We made you necklaces! They protect you from getting hurt by bad guys!"

Macaroni necklace has been added to Shoto's hero costume.

Lord help the fool who tries either breaking or taking it off.

They won't get to, just know that.

Eijirou Kirishima

Three kids and one on the way!

This is a family man!

Two daughters named Akane (older) and Kimmi (middle), and a son Akio (youngest for now).

They love you both, but you can tell Eijirou is their favorite.

When he comes home, they run to him and he scoops them up into a bear hug.

"Hey! What are the baby boulders up to?" 🥺

They all laugh, relishing in their father's embrace and you take pictures.

Don't get me wrong, like I said they love you too!

Akio will walk over while you sit on the couch and cuddle you.

Now Akane wants to cuddle.

Now Kimmi wants to cuddle.

And now Eijirou wants to cuddle.

They love cooking with you, grinning with their shark-like teeth as you let them assist you.

They obsess over your tummy!

And once they know their baby bro is in there?

Best believe they get territorial when strangers touch your stomach!

Akane bared her sharp ass teeth once and the old lady backed off 😭��🏾

The girls drag him and Akio to play dress up.

Akio goes "This is girly though"

And Eijirou gave him a fatherly talk about how tough being a woman can be

Its still not Akio's cup of tea but his respect for girls go up 📈📈📈

Both Kimmi and Akane are mischievous and love teasing Akio.

Not in a bad way, in a "Our baby bro is so cute!" way

And he always finds himself blushing, trying to run away!

All in all, this is a family that protects each other to the end!

[toomuchracket]

just thinking about the fact that flatmate!matty and girly clearly almost live like a married couple but of course, they don't see it. And say, one of the boys (George, I'm thinking) has to stay with them for a couple days because of some emergency and he points this out loud and they're both like NO??? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, WE DO NOT??? Just, protesting a bit too much

YES ABSOLUTELY. you and george have like a full debate about sleeping arrangements because you're trying to give him your bed and he's like "love i'm not kicking you out of your bed and making you sleep on the couch! i'll just share with matty" and you're like "nah it's cool you're the guest, you have my bed to yourself and i'll share with matty" and george is like "... what" and matty's like "we literally fall asleep in the same bed at least once a week at this point" and george is like "... and you're still, like, just friends?" and you and matty both say "yeah" but george clocks that you're both upset about that. anyway, george gets your bed to himself, but he goes through into matty's room when he wakes up to say good morning and he literally stops in his tracks in the doorway, because you and matty are awake and chatting but you're snuggled into matty's bare chest with your arm over him and your legs entwined, and matty's arm is draped over your side, hand far too close to your bum and the whole thing too intimate for george to believe this is a totally platonic relationship (aside from the yearning and snuggling, at this point, it is). and george sits on the bed and you all have a little smoke, and you and matty are still being all affectionate, which george immediately sees is just flirting and he's intrigued so he's like "how did this falling asleep together thing start anyway?". and you're like "we had a movie night in my room and just fell asleep cuddling and then it became a regular thing" and george is like "you have movie nights in your bedrooms?" and you and matty go bright red and matty's like "george WE'VE had movie nights in our bedrooms" and george is like "well yeah but we've never bordered on netflix and chill and cuddled, have we?". and you laugh (even though you're screaming internally) and go "maybe you should, george, it's fun cuddling him. anyway i'm hungry, i'll go and start breakfast", and you kiss matty's cheek before you peel off him and get up, and pat george on the head as you pass him. and george just raises his eyebrows at matty before the two of them get up to follow you to the kitchen. and you don't let george make breakfast because he's a guest, so he just sits at the breakfast bar and watches you and matty cook - well, you cook, and matty annoy you as he makes coffee for everyone. and it really is so domestic! you grab something out of the fridge and then go "we're almost out of that matty can you add it to the shopping list" and he's like "of course babe" and does it, and he kisses the top of your head when he passes you, then at one point you stand behind matty and wrap your arms around his waist and just kind of sway to whatever music is playing over the speakers. and george is like "god, you guys are like such an old married couple. you're so in love it's funny" and the two of you are like "what? no we're not! are you high or something? what the fuck are you saying that for? we're just friends!" in progressively higher-pitched voices (clearly lying) and george says "if you say so! it just looks like it. and it's cute, it really is". and then you all eat breakfast in total silence because both you and matty are too busy thinking about the other maybe actually loving you back to talk lol (and i suspect the time you actually get together happens at most two weeks later) <3

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 13)

Oh no... 13 is an unlucky number! Oh, well.

Up to this point we've seen Natsume fall in love with Mikan. This next arc is all about discovering Natsume, however, and we've pretty much already talked about that so maybe my analysis for his perspective will leave some things to be desired, which is fine, because Mikan's will come in due time! That being said, there's plenty of stuff in this arc, especially at the start of it, to analyze for Natsume as well.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Takahashi-san has dressed all the Elementary children in their New Year’s kimonos and they are now ready to celebrate the holiday together. They eat a New Year’s feast in the dorms lounge, a rare day where the children don’t have to eat according to their star rank.

It just so happens that New Year’s Day is also Mikan’s birthday. Everyone pretends like they don’t know, because Hotaru told them to leave it a surprise. Mikan is trying to let everyone know about the special day, but the New Year’s cards come in and everyone gets immediately and understandably distracted.

Of particular interest to everyone is Ruka’s card from his mother, who references Natsume and Aoi in her letter. Now everyone is in Ruka’s business and teasing him, so Natsume steps in to help, taking the card from Mikan, returning it to Ruka, and making a very good point that she shouldn’t go looking at other people’s cards without their permission. Mikan is uncomfortable, so she decides to change the subject by asking Natsume how many cards he got this year.

With that, Natsume goes cold and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

He didn't want to sit around watching them all gush about their dumb cards anyway!

The truth is Natsume has never gotten any letters or cards, no matter what time of year or holiday it is, and he never will. We can think back to when he told Mikan that the academy would never send her letters to her grandpa. He’d said that the school would never, under any circumstances, allow them to contact the outside. Turns out, the only person who can 100% count on that is Natsume. Sure, he and Mikan are similarly targeted in strange and unfair ways, but he will always be just a little more targeted, because he’s strictly not allowed to have fun or be happy. It would make him happy to hear from his father, to know that he’s safe. The school can’t have anything like that, so they have Natsume sit in the same room as all the other kids, watching them excitedly gush about how many cards they get, while he knows very well he will receive zero each year without fail.

Natsume wants some time to himself, understandably upset about his situation. He’s thinking about Aoi and probably beating himself up because he tends to do that when it comes to his sister and his past. He genuinely has no idea where Aoi is, or if she’s safe, and the school likes to keep it that way, so they can hold it over his head. Aoi is always one of the people they threaten, somebody he works tirelessly to protect despite the fact that he hasn’t seen her in years, doesn’t know where she is, and probably won’t ever see her again.

Natsume looks out the window, sitting on his own, and sees Mikan crying to Narumi because of her guilt and because nobody remembered her birthday. We can see pretty immediately that he isn’t actually upset with Mikan, just with his own situation. He watches her, always lovelorn. Then we see him put his hand on a little bag with a holly decoration. Because of the holly, there’s an instant relation to Christmas. We can’t know what’s in the bag yet, but eventually we will discover that it’s an alice stone.

He's just been carrying this around since Christmas at the latest. How embarrassing.

Natsume made this stone at some point. I would assume it was after his birthday party, before Christmas. Because of the bag, my guess is that he had wrapped it to be a Christmas present but had never given it. That’s understandable. He’s not supposed to woo her, after all, and giving a girl an alice stone would be pretty romantic, even if she has no idea what it means. We will see this stone time and time again, because he likes carrying it around in his pocket. Perhaps he likes imagining that he could give it to her, but never actually goes through with it. Just like today, on her birthday, he will not give the stone, but he’s still carrying it because he’d like to.

The alice stone is proof of at least one thing: Natsume is very much in love with Mikan and he knows it.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Mikan is happily celebrating her birthday. Natsume has returned to the lounge, but he hasn’t said anything, so she’s still feeling awkward about what happened.

The class decides to make mochi once Tsubasa and Misaki arrive. Tsubasa tries to greet Natsume but Natsume responds coldly, with a thumbs down. Now properly irritated, Tsubasa has decided to pull a prank.

Natsume does not make mochi. He sits on his own, napping with manga over his face like always. Once the class is finished, Permy quickly offers her mochi to him, but his attention is immediately on Mikan, who is giving her mochi for him to eat. She tries to apologize, but can’t get the words out, so she leaves the bowl on the table. Natsume can tell that she’s still feeling guilty, even though he isn’t really mad at her. She was thinking of him, so it’s no surprise that he ends up eating the soup, even if it is disgusting.

It doesn't matter if it's disgusting. He's gonna eat it anyway. Because she made it. Zoe and I joke that Natsume would eat all her food (out of his unending love, of course) and eventually get used to the bizarre combinations she puts together. He might even start liking them, who can say.

Hotaru has been invited to the Hana Hime den to be a flower princess, a girl hand-picked by the middle school principal and who carries a heavy amount of prestige and status. Misaki mentions some rumors about the MSP, namely that she locks up her favorite girls in a dungeon, and that immediately gets Natsume’s attention. He’s struck, and to a first-time reader, this might seem odd. He’s strangely intrigued by a girly flower party where guys aren’t even allowed. But he’s not interested for himself. Natsume can guess based on this new information that if Aoi is anywhere on the Alice Academy campus, it’s in the Hana Hime den dungeon.

There’s always an extra invitation ball that is given to a random girl each year, so she can also attend the prestigious party, but the chances that it would land in the hands of an Elementary student are very low.

The Class B girls look for one anyway, but their search doesn’t get too far because suddenly the kids are flying across the room, sticking to each other, like Hotaru and Youichi to Ruka, Anna to Nonoko, Koko to Kitsu, and even Natsume to Mikan.

Turns out Tsubasa’s payback scheme for Natsume giving him the cold shoulder was to put sticky mochi flour into their mochi as a prank, which will keep all the children stuck to the people who ate the same mochi for a full hour.

He was counting on her never finding out he ate it, but alas.

Mikan then realizes that since she’s stuck to Natsume, that he must have eaten her mochi. He can’t argue that he didn’t, but he turns quickly to insults to distract from how sweet of a moment that could potentially be. He says he choked it down, which might very well be true, but it leaves the question of why he’d put himself through the trouble of choking it down if it didn’t mean anything to him. Hmm. Check mate, Natsume.

Then, Mikan finds out that she’s the recipient of the prize jewel, and has thus been invited to the Hana Hime party. There’s something quite fishy about Mikan being the recipient. It’s too much of a coincidence, and it isn’t one. This is all an elaborate trick to trap Natsume in the dungeon forever, and it’s not by the MSP.

Most of the groups have become unstuck, except for Hotaru, Youichi, and Ruka. Tsubasa reads the packet and discovers that some people may be stuck for two or three days as a possible side effect. Mikan and Natsume can become unstuck, but Natsume grabs her hand and keeps her still.

He's not going to miss this opportunity, even if it puts him on the spot and is kind of embarrassing. To be honest, this could possibly unravel all the work he's been doing to downplay how much he likes Mikan. What if she starts thinking he has feelings for her? It's all so risky, but he's willing to do anything for Aoi.

He’s going to do everything he can to go to that party and possibly find his sister. Getting stuck to Mikan and then her being invited to the Hana Hime den is all just too good of a chance to miss. If she can somehow still go while attached to him, it gives him an in to check out the palace and try to find the dungeon.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Natsume is adamant about keeping up the charade that he and Mikan are still stuck. It’s important to him and he’s desperate. He would do anything to save his sister, so if it means threatening Mikan a little, he’s willing to do it. It doesn’t matter that Mikan has no idea what’s going on, what matters is even the chance of going.

Narumi returns to say there’s not a good probability that Hotaru and Mikan would still be allowed to attend the party, because boys aren’t allowed and they are firmly attached to three of them. Mikan has more and more reason to not want to be stuck when she realizes that going to the bathroom and sleeping will be tricky business. Natsume is obviously not a huge fan of it either. He’s usually cold and snippy, even when bickering with Mikan, but this time he’s yelling just like she is. He’s uncomfortable too, but it’s something he’s willing to sacrifice for Aoi.

Mikan only gets more and more upset, screaming about how much she hates Natsume. He doesn’t seem to take it very seriously until Koko, who is reading her mind, asks Mikan if she likes Ruka better than Natsume, and she responds that she does.

Natsume is hurt, but sadly it’s not anything he can’t eventually come to terms with, like every other disappointment in his ceaselessly disappointing life. For now, he’s bitter, but this is great news for Ruka, isn’t it?

It’s time for sleep, and they’re standing in Natsume’s fancy special star room. At her discomfort, he offers that they can sleep in her tiny room if she’d prefer it, but the venue isn’t exactly her problem. He proceeds to be unpleasant, saying that he’s not interested in sleeping with her either, since she probably kicks a lot and talks in her sleep. But then he’s serious, still bitter when he tells her “Sorry for not being Ruka,” and promises that the whole charade would be over tomorrow.

It's on rare occasions like this that Natsume can express even the tiniest fraction of what he's really feeling, in this case jealousy and hurt.

He really never would have done this to himself if Aoi’s safety wasn’t potentially at stake. Having Mikan be so angry at him, hearing her say she much prefers Ruka to him, having to share his bed with her--it’s all stuff he doesn’t want to do! Further, he’ll probably be in serious trouble tomorrow if he does manage to find and rescue Aoi. There’s nothing fun going on in Natsume’s brain, just worry and the skeleton of a desperately laid-out plan to save his sister.

Sleeping with Mikan is something he doesn’t want to do, no doubt, but not because she probably talks and kicks in her sleep. That wouldn’t actually bother him so much. Natsume usually waits until he’s alone in his room at night to let himself be sick. According to the chapter where Tsubasa found out about his condition, Natsume sometimes wakes up in a coughing fit until he coughs up blood. He suffers and struggles and is in pain when he sleeps, and Mikan will be there this time, up close to possibly see it.

How soft his eyes get, just looking at her. It's interesting whenever he drops his facade, like now in a state of half-awakeness, and we can see just how affectionate he'd be if he wasn't always sacrificing his happiness.

But Natsume falls asleep first anyway, and pretty quickly starts having a nightmare. He’s breathing heavily and struggling, having a PTSD flashback nightmare about Aoi. But Mikan wakes him up, sitting up, concerned for him. Natsume is barely awake, but his eyes turn soft. She saves him from his nightmares in more ways than one, like walking-talking serotonin. He reaches for her, in a state of half-consciousness, because his nights are usually awful but the time he spends with Mikan usually isn’t. Maybe combining them is the way to sleep peacefully for a change. So he snuggles her. She starts freaking out, embarrassed, but Natsume tries to reason with her, and maybe with himself too, half-asleep as he is. No, no, it’s just for tonight, just for now. It’ll be like it never happened tomorrow, it’s fine. She can go right back to Ruka tomorrow, since she prefers him anyway, and it won’t be a big deal. He just wants this for now, just for a little bit. Just while he can.

It’s sad that Natsume always thinks of these moments with Mikan as aberrations. They’re little moments that he borrows or steals just to have them for now, thinking they’re meaningless to her, but carrying them like they’re precious to him. He doesn’t think they belong to him, or that he has the right to want anything from her. He holds her during the SA class’s RPG as a joke. He tells her he likes her hair down after fighting with her. He dances with her, knowing that she’s danced with lots of other people and it won’t matter as much to add him to the list. He kisses her after he assumes Ruka already has, just so he can have keep it in his memories. And he cuddles with her now, even though she’s freaking out, because he needs some comfort, even though it isn’t his place to be hugging her. He always has to reason himself into these situations, like he’s convincing himself that he’s allowed to do this one selfish thing, just as long as she doesn’t understand how much it means to him, just as long as it won’t mean anything to her, just as long as he can get away with it.

And because he’s borrowing, the next morning he acts as though her holding him is some kind of bother. He acts all irritated and pretends like nothing happened, because he was borrowing the moment to begin with. It wasn’t his right to take it, and she can’t know it meant something. It also could be that he genuinely can’t remember the last night that clearly. People do all sorts of crazy things in between sleep that they can’t remember. Maybe his lack of sense and restraint helped him get the courage to hug her in the first place, and now that he’s fully awake he can hardly remember. If this is the case, then he's probably scolding his sleepy self for being so ridiculous.

It's up to you to decide if he really can't remember or if he's pretending. Both are possible and neither would really surprise me tbh.

It’s possible, but knowing Natsume, it’s also possible he’s pretending like he doesn’t remember. Either way, he has to do damage control, because she absolutely cannot get the wrong right idea and think that he has affection for her.

The morning brings good news as well, because Natsume, Ruka, and Youichi are allowed to accompany Mikan and Hotaru, as long as they’re dressed as girls.

It’s all working out a bit too conveniently. This is Persona’s scheme to trap Natsume, so of course it would all work out in order that he could make his way to the dungeon. Natsume might be relieved that his plan is working, but it won’t go so smoothly once they’re actually in the Hana Hime den.

Conclusion

The most interesting scenes to analyze from Natsume's perspective are the ones where he chooses to be selfish just once in a while. They're such silly things to call selfish, but they are to him. Being sweet or affectionate to the girl you love should be second-nature, not something to deny yourself, but it's what he's trying to accustom himself to. We also see just how desperate he can be in trying to protect people important to him, like Aoi. The lengths he goes to in order to find her are impressive and show just how determined he is. Going forward, we'll only see more of this kind of determination.

My sister (Zoe) and I made three playlists for NatsuMikan, just like I'm making three essays. One playlist for Natsume's POV, one for Mikan's, and one general playlist for their relationship. I've been listening to the Natsume one while writing these and it's been a lot of fun! This is my long-winded way of plugging Love Song Requiem. Good bye.

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[itsadamcole]

last christmas

fem!reader x finn balor

reader and Finn have been broken up for almost a year. they haven't seen or spoken to each other since Finn ended the relationship. it's now Christmastime, and they come face-to-face at the NXT Christmas party for the first time since the breakup ... "i loved you. i loved you so much that it hurt me"

word count: 2.5k+

warnings: angsty, mentions & actions involving cheating, drinking, implied sex, kinda nsfw

— day 7 out of 25. let’s gooo —

masterlist || request an imagine here

part 2

~ some 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You stand outside of BelaRosa Banquet Hall and stare up at the building. You know what's waiting for you inside.

While you've managed to avoid him at Full Sail, it won't be as easy to avoid him here. At least at Full Sail, you can hide in your dressing room. At BelaRosa Banquet Hall, there's nowhere to hide. Except maybe the bathroom. He's too much of a gentleman to walk into a women's restroom.

"Hey, girlie," you hear Candice LeRae say behind you. You glance back to see her walking up to the door with Johnny Gargano by her side. "Why are you still out here? You should be inside."

You say, "I'm trying to talk myself into going in. It's taking me longer than I thought."

Candice hooks her arm with yours and she says, "You know he doesn't like coming to these events. He probably won't even be here."

Anxiety hits you like a train as you say, "He's NXT Champion, Candice. There's no way that he's not here."

"That's a good point," she says. "I used to wrestle men so I won't be afraid to hit him or hurricanrana him so please come inside and sit with me and Johnny."

That gets a light laugh out of you. You give in and say, "Fine. You better hold your promise to hurrincanrana him if he comes near me."

Candice laughs and the three of you walk inside. "I promise," she says.

The banquet hall is huge and already full of NXT wrestlers and staff members. William Regal is even here. So is Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and Shawn Michaels. If they're here then he definitely is.

You join Candice at a table with Tegan Nox, Dakota Kai, Raquel Gonzalez, Tommaso Ciampa, Tyler Breeze, and Fandango.

"Hey, Y/N!" Tegan says, patting the seat beside her. "Sit here. I didn't think we'd be seeing you."

Laughing, you say, "I decided to show up and not let a breakup dictate my life anymore."

Candice says, "She was standing outside the building for who knows how long when I showed up. Who knows if she would have walked in if it wasn't for me."

Everyone at the table kind of laughs.

The banquet hall is full of Christmas and holiday themed decorations. Garland hands all over the place with a large Christmas tree in one of the corners of the room. Wreaths are scattered throughout the room. The tables all have little Santa or snowman figurines as decoration.

"I love that dress, Y/N," Dakota compliments. "Very pretty."

The decision to come to this party was so last minute that you had to grab a dress from your closet instead of buying something new like most people did. The dress you're wearing is a short satin silver dress with spaghetti straps that crisscross each other on your back. The neck dips a little low, revealing a small amount of cleavage. You wear matching silver heels. Your Y/H/C colored hair is up in a messy bun on top of your head.

"Thank you, Kota," you say, smiling kindly at her.

The party goes well until dinner is served in buffet form. You're making your way down the line when someone says, "It's nice to see ya, Y/N. It's been a while."

You'd know that accent anywhere. That Irish accent that made you weak in the knees every time you heard it. Your suspicions are confirmed when you look to your left to see Finn Balor grabbing some mashed potatoes.

"Wish I could say the same," is all you say before grabbing a roll and some butter before walking off.

You sigh as you sit down, angry and frustrated that he even had the nerve to come up to you and say that it's nice to see you. You eat angrily.

Candice notices you and asks, "What's going on? You seem angry."

"I'm not," you snap. "Angry. I'm not angry."

Johnny chimes in and says, "Your vegetables say differently. Did he say something to you? I saw him standing next to you."

You look up at Johnny and say, "He said it was nice to see me, as if he didn't cheat on me several times then play victim every time I would find out."

Candice looks at you, upset that he even talked to you.

Tegan gives you a hug and says, "We won't let him talk to you again, Y/N. That was the first and last time he will talk to you tonight."

Dinner and dessert go by pretty much quickly and easily. Finn doesn't approach you while you eat.

After dinner and dessert, Candice and Johnny go off to dance. Raquel and Dakota go talk to Io Shirai and Rhea Ripley. Tyler and Dango go talk to Adam Cole and the Undisputed Era. Tommaso goes and mingles. That leaves you and Tegan at the table.

Tegan is in the middle of telling you a story about her dog as the two of you sip off your alcoholic drink when Finn approaches you again.

"I'd really like to talk with ya for a second, Y/N," he says. "Please."

You sigh and ask, "What part of 'I never want to talk to you again' didn't you understand?"

Tegan jumps in and says, "Take a hint, Finn. She doesn't want to talk."

Finn looks at you and says, "Just for a few minutes. Then ya can go back to hating my guts."

You turn and look up at Finn, meeting his eyes. "When I said to never talk to me again, I meant it, Finn," you say, growing more and more frustrated.

"It's just a two-minute long conversation, Y/N," he says. "Come on."

Tegan looks at you and you look at her. She says, "Get it out of the way that way you can enjoy the rest of your night."

Sighing, you look back up at Finn and say, "Fine. You have only two minutes."

He looks at Tegan before saying, "Alone. I want to talk to ya alone."

Rolling your eyes, you get out of your seat. Finn walks off to a more private and quieter part of the banquet hall.

"What do you want, Finn?" you ask. "Here to tell me how much you want me back and wish you never cheated?"

He says, "I'm getting married." You're surprised by these three words. "I wanted to make peace with the people I've hurt the most before I got married. Starting with ya."

You look up at Finn and say, "I'm not forgiving you any time soon, Finn. You hurt me so many times."

Finn says, "I don't expect ya to forgive me, Y/N. I'm just trying to make peace with ya so ya stop being smart when I talk to ya at work. I understand that I hurt ya and are mad at me-"

You cut him off and say, "You don't understand. If you understood then you wouldn't have cheated on me multiple times. I'm not just mad, I'm furious. I feel like the past six years were a waste of my time because of you. I loved you. I loved you so much that it hurt me. I took you back when you begged and pleaded because I believed you when you told me you wouldn't cheat again. I gave you chance after chance to make it up to me and just when you did, I'd find out that you cheated again. So no, you don't understand, Finn."

He hangs his head in shame as you speak. He knows that what he did was wrong. Now he's trying to right this wrong.

Finn waits until you're done talking before he says, "I understand what I did was wrong. I've grown and reflected in the past year, Y/N. I've met someone I'm happy with. I've met someone who's kind and beautiful and hasn't judged me because of my past. I've met someone who is nothing compared to ya. I know ya won't forgive me but I want ya back in my life because this whole ignoring me then being smart when we've talked sucks."

You squint your eyes at Finn and say, "Then maybe you shouldn't have cheated."

"I wish I didn't, Y/N!" Finn says, raising his voice. "Believe it or not but I did regret it every time. I hid it because I didn't want us to be in this exact situation."

You raise your voice and say, "Then maybe you should have just told me if you regretted it instead of hiding it! Hiding it did nothing but fuel my anger and hatred toward you. For the past year I have hated you, I have been angry at you, but most of all, I have loved you every second. It's frustrating, Finn! It's frustrating loving you when all you did was hurt me. Last Christmas, when you told me you cheated again, it broke my heart breaking up with you and honestly, I waited to see if you would come back but you never did. Instead you went out and got engaged, and it's not to me."

You've started crying by this point as you let out everything you've been feeling toward Finn for the past year. Everything comes spilling out as you talk.

Meanwhile, Finn's quiet. He's listening and taking it every single word you're saying. He wants to understand.

After sighing and wiping the tears away, you say, "All I wanted was for you to grown and think about your actions. That's all I wanted. Maybe I would have taken you back or tried again at a relationship with you if you came to me and talked to me instead of getting engaged. Now you're getting married and all I can think about is how proud I am of you and happy I am for you while being upset and angry with you."

A wave of sadness comes over Finn after you're done speaking. He finally realizes how much he's hurt you. He realizes his choices haven't been the best over the past few years.

Hesitantly, he reaches out and wipes away your mascara stained tears. Subconsciously, you lean into his touch and close your eyes.

Finn says softly, "I wanted to go back to ya, Y/N. I truly did, but I thought that I'd hurt ya too much and that ya wouldn't even listen to what I had to say. I've loved ya from afar this past year. There's always been a spot for ya in my heart, Y/N."

You look up at Finn, meeting his eyes. You cry, "If I had seen that you had grown and reflected and thought about everything then I would have listened. I'm listening now and I can see how much you've changed, Finn. I can see how genuine and sincere you are."

He looks down at you with a sad expression on his face. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he says, "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I truly am."

Eye contact remains as you say the words Finn's been wanting to hear for months. "I forgive you, Finn," is what you say.

He brings his forehead down to yours and he whispers, "I want one thing."

"What's that?" you ask, your voice quiet.

Finn says, "I want a last kiss. Just so we can both move on from this and grow as friends."

You stare up at Finn and say, "I can't do that. You have a fiancée, Finn. Don't do to her what you've done to me."

He nods and looks away, clearly upset.

You would do anything to kiss him again. His kisses always gave you butterflies, no matter where the kisses were on your body. His mustache would always tickle your lip when you kissed him.

You know what, you think to yourself. One last kiss won't be the end of the world.

"Finn," you say, getting his attention.

The Irishman looks at you. You wait a second before hesitantly kissing Finn softly. You squeeze your eyes so the last few years escape and roll down your cheeks as Finn kisses you back.

This is it. The official end of a six year relationship. You're both finally moving on. Finn's getting married and you finally have the closure you never thought you needed as your lips move more and more passionately against Finn's.

Both of you suddenly find yourselves not wanting to pull away from the kiss. Your hands slide up and rest on the back of Finn's neck as you continue kissing him. His hands rest on your waist.

Finn walks so he's pressing you against the wall in the hallway. His large frame pins you against the cream colored wall.

He leans down and picks you up by your thighs, pressing your back against the wall as you wrap your legs around his waist.

It's when his lips leave yours and attach to your neck that you say, "Finn. This isn't just a kiss anymore."

He looks at you and says, "I don't want it to be just a kiss."

"I don't want it either but it has to be," you say. "That's all it can be."

Finn kisses your lips again, this time more passionately and intensely than before. "Stay the night with me," he mumble against your lips. "Please."

In between kisses, you say, "You're getting married, Finn. I can't."

He says, "Ya can. Ya just don't want to."

You pull back and put your hands on Finn's face, holding him there. "Trust me, I want to," you say. "You have no idea how much I want to."

Finn pleads, "Then come home with me. I still live in that tiny apartment. My fiancée doesn't live with me. One last night together won't be the end of the world. If my fiancée finds out and leaves then we get what we both want in the end. Each other."

"That's a toxic way to think, Finn," you point out.

He says, "I know, but I love ya more than I'll ever love her. It's always been ya for me, Y/N."

Your mind begins to race. Do you go back to Finn's and get what you both want? Do you call it a night and maybe regret not going back to Finn's?

No matter what you choose, you'll probably regret in the future. Plus the hope of one day being with him again is the reason you say, "One last night. That's it. That's all you get from me."

Finn pecks your lips and smiles before putting you down and taking you back to his apartment.

As soon as you're back in his apartment, the clothes come off and they stay off until sunrise the next day. You spend all of Christmas Eve mending a broken relationship between you and Finn.

It's a terrible way to fix a broken relationship but you hope it works because you want Finn back in your life. No, you need Finn back in your life.

You just hope things don't get more complicated than they already are after the one last night with Finn.