#like we're so quirky bc we hate this thing

[skywalker-swift]

lol gotta love being in a work meeting and the high point of the day is that football is back and then having to sit there for five minutes while people get upset that taylor swift has the audacity to show up for her boyfriend and not the nfl capitalizing on her appearances to make them money

[hackedmotionsensors]

lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.

And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.

I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"

Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.

Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....

But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.

Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.

But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"

I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)

I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.

And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)

But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"

GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol

I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like

guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)

[neptunescore]

k you asked for unpopular f1 opinions and idk if this even counts but i Do Not Like lando norris. i actively dislike him, actually. couldn't really tell you why, he's just really annoying. and that move with the fist pump during max's anthem at the canadian gp? not fucking cool. i also hate when people say shit like "omg he's so public school core" or "idk he just feels more authentic than the rest of them (drivers)" because most people didn't know he had money growing up. his dad is like a fucking billionaire (millionaire?) CEO like shut up. i just feel like he can't possibly be as nice as people think. also his win in miami had distinctly Weird Vibes. not necessarily bad, just Wrong. should not have happened. also that thing where he said "trump is someone you gotta have a lot of respect for" like no??? he's not??? he's a conservative right wing politician who was found guilty on all 34 counts in his hush money case. he's a white-collar criminal (the worst kind). he deserves no respect. shut up. it would be better to just not say anything at all. yeah.

I have had SO MANY asks on lando, but i shall keep responding😤.

No1. All the shit Lando has done. Ugh, dont even get me started on it, im just gonna link my old post bc im so done talking abt it.

No2. I don't hate lando, I'm not a lando 'hater', bc I feel like you can't really hate a person you have never met and don't know on a personal level. However, I do feel very strongly abt some of his actions, and I do think he should take accountability for shit he's done. Personally, I just don't like him that much, and so I stay away from his content and fans. If I see smthng funny he's done or see content abt him that I enjoy then I laugh and appreciate it, but recently he's just been irritating towards my beliefs and values, so I'm keeping my distance.

No3. I just wanna say, very gently, even if you dislike a driver, you shouldn't discredit their wins/ accomplishments bc in the end thats smthng they've earned, and it's literally their job, like for me, when I saw miami, I thought "good for him" and moved on. I did get really pissed abt his comments on trump tho, man really went and stained his first race win with all that shit.

No4. Ur point on the way ppl say, 'he's more authentic than the rest of the drivers'. Honestly, I've seen so many ppl have this opinion, and all I'm gonna say is: Every driver has a different pr strategy. Lando's whole strategy is being perceived as 'relateable' and 'quirky', and, by the looks of it, it's working really well. Obv we – as fans – will never know if he's genuinely like this in person or if it is just fully pr (same with all the other drivers), but from what's provided to us we're all free to make our own assumptions :]

I just feel like he can't possibly as nice as people think

I think, nonnie (and this is meant in the kindest way possible), assumptions like these are smthng we should avoid making. You don't know lando, and I don't know lando, so really we'll never know if he's truly as nice or not, and we shouldn't say stuff like this about ppl who've never actually done anything to be precieved that way. Like yes, we can talk abt how lando is ignorant and the type to either: 1. Not think bfr he speaks/ does smthng or 2. Has really bad political views and questionable morals (and if this option is fully confirmed, i will become a full hater, doesn't matter if hes nice or not). But what has he ever done that shows us he's not kind/ nice to his fans?

[iamnmbr3]

Kreacher / Regulus 😈

oh god i hate this. i mean. i could definitely see it hypothetically happening because Regulus owns Kreacher so it's not like he could really say no. Plus he might be brainwashed enough that he might even perceive it as consent (which it would not be due to him being enslaved). and I could even see Regulus forming some sort of twisted attachment. Which would really mess with his view of himself as a superior pureblood. I mean. I don't read their relationship in that way at all but I could see how it could make sense. and you could even do something dark and interesting with it. but do I want to think about it? dear god NO. so i'll go with category 2: makes sense, doesn't compel me.

(As an aside. I still cannot get over how JKR framed the house elves. I mean, when Hermione was all "don't you see how sick it is the way they've got to obey?!' in book 7 I thought that was finally going to be the aha moment where ron and harry realized how messed up the house elves' situation is. but nope. it's just a thing that hermione says. and the end message really is that we're supposed to just go 'lol hermione's so quirky for thinking slavery is bad' which is just BIZARRE.

and I mean it's not terrible world building to portray a society that has slaves as having a lot of pro slavery attitudes. it's not even terrible world building for harry to start out questioning slavery but then be convinced by those around him that it's ok. because that shows how institutionalized systems of oppression can self perpetuate and spread. the problem is, jkr wasn't trying to show any of that. she frames the story as very much a simple good vs evil (with some grey areas) tale of good guys vs bad guys. so in that context having the good guys be a-ok with slavery is just shocking.

And it's especially weird bc it's partly a retcon. in book 2 dobby is kept as a slave by bad guy characters and harry, the good guy, is horrified when he finds out and is like 'omg that's super messed up' and frees him in the end. yay. it all tracks. but then jkr for some reason decided to back pedal and in book 4 we have hagrid as the voice of reason telling harry - and by extension the readers, that actually slavery is fine for the house elves and dobby is just weird for wanting to be free.

which. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JKR?! slavery is an abomination. it is evil in any form. even the most "well treated" slave is being oppressed. there is no humane way to enslave a sapient being. owning a person is just wrong. but also. the house elves are magical slaves who are MAGICALLY FORCED TO TORTURE THEMSELVES IF THEY DISOBEY. even if their owners don't catch them. (and of course their owners can also force them to do extra punishments). remember the time that dobby had to iron his own hands?! and then JKR tells us via hagrid that actually he's just super weird for wanting to be free and we shouldn't care about it. WUT?!

again. it's unintentionally good world building because slave holders irl often did justify their actions by saying they were "helping" their slaves. but why on earth JKR decided to present that attitudes as being right is beyond me. especially when in book 4 and 5 she set up the oppression of sapient magical beings as a huge problem to be dealt with...and then she was just like. nah jk actually it's all cool.

i don't get it)

send me a ship and I'll tell you which of these categories it falls into

[fappellmoan]

not to sit here and weave a story out of nothing like a little protagonist via my quirky online storytelling but i rekindled my friendship with sam who is such an interesting person there are just a lot of stories of all sorts and this is funny timing but truly we just fell into such an easy banter this past class so we were like omg lets hang right so. his roommate really is just like stupid hot right. i could get corny with it but i wont. a face sculpted by the hands of god though. all this prefaced i will now tell u an absolutely nothing story and i really mean that read at your own discretion ((A/N: trust and believe i yapped. putting under keep reading to be somewhat forgivable) (i am not in my best of states rn. okay.)

anyway so we're chillin in sams room im getting caught up on the latest construction projects and shit.. one thing abt sam hes always up to something. they've got an entire work desk #butchrealness. then i hear some singing out in the hallway but from where im sitting cant actually see anyone so convo just goes sam and roommate 'hey' 'hey' and then i peeked my little head out and waved and said hey and they stopped and set down their basket and said 'Hey' and then i did not introduce myself (flop) (combo of cramped room and sam talking and me being wildly awkward) (also keep in mind i dont know if this person has swiped left on me or not been on tinder or if theyd even recognize me anyway and hating that that's even a situation bc i hate that stupid app but just hoping worst case scenario i dont come off as an insane stalker but rather a victim of circumstance) but they just chatted for a sec abt whatever shelf sam needs to fix and that was that. and then they went back to humming which was cute or whatever

to set the next scene we're down in the kitchen and sams cooking and this is a while after we took his homemade gummies so im not rlly high per se but chillin and something about the noise and setup in their kitchen is so overstimulating for me lol when shes cooking im just like frozen. i always offer to help but he always just gets in a groove it's best i dont intervene. one time he had to tell me to go sit down in the other room bc i was freakin out a little lol

so im perched on this single high chair they have in the kitchen right next to their washer and dryer as sams whipping up some food and im kind of obnoxiously saying Unfortch in response to a story he was telling me and he gives me a look so im like UnfortunateLy. and then hes like 'psh i know unfortch i live with this guy' cue roommate strollin in with laundry and theyre just like Whaat and sam explains and theyre like Oh ofc you gotta know unfortch or whatever. forgot to mention that earlier in sams room they said three similar abbreviated words in a row just during a normal sentence and it caught me so off guard i wanted to giggle. so naturally my brain is going through Immediate social response of a semi awk laugh or quippy remark about that but also theyre literally like a foot away from me and im largely nonverbal atm lmfaoo so i just mumble smth to try and go along w the bit but then trailed off cause i was like wtf am i even saying. brain was overloaded

and then i was like um. i literally was just staring around doing fuck all like a perched bird or something but i was fighting a war in my mind of like ok do i introduce myself or look to sam to do so or do we not do that or is that rude idk but also they have headphones on one ear and are doing all their laundry shit and i once again dont want to be like overbearing but also well come on now we gotta feel out the vibe (and i do a great job here.) idk so im like Ok dont just look at them but dont Not look at them just behave like a normal person. you know. the usual. sam comes over to give me a bit of bread with balsamic vinegar and oil and i spilled it on my sweater fuck this stupid baka life (didnt really show. but still they were right there..)

and so after a min of this they were kinda like awkward laugh 'dont mind me' and i once again was very self conscious and had several things that wanted to come out 'not at all' 'dont mind me' 'it's your house' 'these all sound awful abby' then i got anxious that i was in the way the whole time but they were almost done and if i got into a weird apology thing well i would have had to kill myself so i just once again kind of uttered something that would have sounded like 'youresogoodicanmovetoo' and also 'sorry if i just keep like looking over at you' WTF IS THAT SHIT. FUMBLE BOOOOO and my follow up was essentially nothing cause i couldnt decide if i should say 'im just a bit out of it/high' 'im easily distracted (kys)' 'idk what to do w myself haha' 'im useless in the kitchen' (not entirely true) i mean just a few minutes before sam and i had talked about how ill just wander around peoples rooms and observe things to avoid feeling awkward and it's just how i am and so i was kinda just doing that due to the nerves of the sitch but there was only so much to look at. and i just sat there. offputting realness. whatever. so. straight face emoji. and that was mostly the extent of that i dont remember what they said in response just like a lil laugh or w/e. probably couldnt hear my stupid ass mumbling. so im thinking my chances of charming them at all are really stellar

if you read all this i want you to just take note that the events depicted here could not have been more than 3-4 minutes collectively. and yet the yap goes on..

for future reference, what did we learn? probably best to just continue convo with sam, excuse urself to br, or perhaps even attempt a conversation w them if ever in a similar situation again and they talk to you first again. also stop inventing complicated situations in ur head chill the hell out. idiot. says the bitch with the anxiety disorder. feel free to egg me on or tell me to fuck off ok xoxoxoxxo love u

[sanstropfremir]

are you ready? it's time for...

best stylings of 2022, first half!!

this covers my favourite stylings from january 1st to june 30th; which i am bolding and italicizing bc some people got on my ass last year about leaving things out when in fact they just did not read the title! so!! this is only half of the year!!

here's a rundown of the categories i'm using:

best overall - self explanatory: this covers cbs that were holistically well designed across the mv, music show stages, and any other promotional material that was released during the cb period

runners' up - this category is for ones that got it about half right; either they had a really good music video but the stages didn't match up, or they had really good stages but the mv was lacking. i also put mvs here that didn't get any other promotional materials

standout element - this is for one off stages or outfits that stuck out to me as being really excellent, but there wasn't the same consistency across the rest of the cb

ok, make sense? let's go!

best overall

i hate you - woodz

i'm not gonna mince words here, you all saw me go insane over this cb so there's no way it wasn't gonna be in first place. frankly i'm surprised i survived the promo period at all. i'm obsessed with the choice for them to shoot the mv in a modern art gallery (i THINK it might be the same one that cl shot her alpha performance video at last year) because i love when there's a meta acknowledgement of idols as artistic products and how they interact with different forms of art etc etc etc anyways here's all the links to stuff i went insane over you're welcome: mv behind, this jacket from its live, and honestly this one is about the backup dancers more than him but it's cute.

stages: mcountdown 220512, music core 220507, music bank 220506, the show 220510, show champion 220511

bsides: hijack the show 220510, show champion 220511

+

gingamingayo - billlie

they deserved to go viral for this, the mv is amazing, the styling is so consistent despite the fact that they did like a full month of promotions, and overall it's just a fun time. they set the precedent for all the ~quirky~ gg cbs that showed up after this. it has so much character and established the weird world that their story exists in, so even though it was very early on in the year, it claims one of my top spots.

stages: contour 220304, music bank 220318, inkigayo 220320, the show 220308

+

dice - onew

this was not a popular cb in my circles but too bad, i thought it was very fun and extremely well designed. great mv with a cute lil narrative and creative choices building on a very clear influence, plus some very fun costume pieces, some incredible stage design, and some gorgeous graphic design. 10/10.

stages: mcountdown 220414, inkigayo 220417, music core 220423

bsides: on the way music bank 220415, inkigayo 220417

+

bad news - tempest

an extremely strong debut that has definitely set a new tone for the incoming next generation of bgs for sure. everything about this styling is chaotic over the top mess reminiscent of early 2010s kpop mixed with a retro 90s feel that is always a joy to watch. we love to see a return to cheesy and bright boy group form and i have my fingers crossed that we're gonna start seeing it catch on beyond the flops in 2023.

stages: mcountdown 220303, music bank 220304, show champion 220309, the show 220308, music core 220305, music core 220312, inkigayo 220313, mcountdown 220317, music bank 220325, music core 2200326

bsides: just a little bit, bad at love

+

undercover - verivery

and i am including the japanese version in this, because it has the best outfit, which is kangmin's pink satin tracksuit that i may or may not think about every day. verivery doesn't usually catch my attention but i loved the prerelease single o from this album so it made me tune into the undercover cb when it dropped. this has been one of the few 'retro' stylings (there's been a myriad of 90s/00s revivals) that actually took some very recognizable silhouettes from the period and combined them with a contemporary flavour successfully and consistently. there's so much good texture and the sheer amount of satin they used is just (chef's kiss).

stages: the show 220503, music core 220514, mcountdown 220505, inkigayo 220501, music core 220521, music bank 220513, music bank 220506, the show 220517, show champion 220504, music core 220507, inkigayo 220508

o: mcountdown 220331, music bank 2200401

+

stupid cool - dawn

dawn once again proving that he and his team understand styling and fashion a lot better than most stylists working in the industy rn. he has such a strong sense of how to use silhouette and texture and i love how every new stage keeps you guess about what insane thing he's gonna wear next. this is also one of the few cbs where i actually think they should have just used the performance video for the final mv, bc its SO good. there's a few small things that i don't love which is why this doesn't rank higher, but there's still a lot that i do, so i kept from the runners' up category.

stages: mcountdown 220707, mcountdown 220630, music bank 220701, inkigayo 220703

+

devil - changmin

it was short but sweet, every look is a banger and i am going to include maniac and fever here as well, because it's also incredible. although all three of these songs have no aesthetic unity across them, this album very much was an exploration of genres that changmin is interested in and creating characters to embody each of those songs; we have the american gothic corrupt preacher with devil, the classic rock besieged horror heroine with maniac, and the capitalist victorian villain from an alw musical. i'd also recommend watching the jacket shooting behind to see more details from the looks in the concept photos, bc those are also excellent.

stages: music core 220115, inkigayo 220116

bsides: fever performance video - dgg

+

bring it on - oneus

bring it on had so much fun character and a great series of prologue films as well, and i feel like it didn't get the love it deserved. there are so many things happening in this mv and it's very busy visually, so for them to be able to keep it coherent despite the sheer number of sets is impressive. rbw has great creative teams and it's no surprise that a oneus mv ended up in my top ten.

stages: music bank 220520, inkigayo 220522, show champion 220525, mcountdown 220602

+

grey suit - suho

i might not have loved the title track as a song, but the mv is fucking gorgeous with some profoundly beautiful shots and like with changmin, the album as a whole is fantastic work and he produced a similar style goofy fun bside mv for hurdle that ended up being his go to concert song this year. both have really consistent design and colour palettes across the two of them, even though they're two totally different styles of song, which is a detail that i really admire. and the concept photos were gorgeous as well.

stages: music bank 220408, inkigayo 220410

bsides: hurdle mcountdown 220407

+

daydream - highlight

fantastic cb from them and excellent album in general, with some unusual silhouette choices. and they fully produced their album medley as well, which i don't think i've seen a group do to this same extent. it's beautiful, i highly recommend watching it. highlight has been quietly flying under the radar since their first post enlistment cb last year, and as the hag fan that i am i'm going to continue to remind everyone that they exist and are doing some of the best quality work in the industry atm.

stages: music core 220326, inkigayo 220327, music bank 220325,

bsides: night fog music bank 220325

+

runners' up

heart burn - sunmi

honestly this should rank higher bc it was such a good cb and everything about it was so well done, but there was just too much that came out this year and i had to bump some things down just because of quantity and the fact that tumblr limits how many links and videos you can put in a post. so please know this was in a top spot in my heart.

+

invu - taeyeon

i wrote a post about invu already so i won't expound on it more, but it got knocked down to runners' up just bc i didn't love all the looks, but i did love a lot of the dedication and thought and engagement they put into the cb as a whole.

+

dududu - tan

also already wrote an entire post about this styling, i love it i'm obsessed one of THE best debuts of all time etc etc etc you've heard me yell about them many times already. although i have to issue one addition: for some reason i didn't include inkigayo 220403 where they gave jiseong a gorgeous blue crushed velvet suit.

+

again - nu'est

this is only here because they never did any performances of it. the only group that's ever done anything good with hybe money and what did they get for it??? the nu'est disbandment is easily one of the most gutwrenching things to happen to me and it's double compounded by their disbandment song being called 'again'. what a fucking cruel joke. anyways this mv is fucking gorgeous even if it makes me feel like i'm eating broken glass.

+

epitaph - tvxq

yes this is a japanese release but they haven't done a korean cb in like four years at this point so i'm taking what i can get. incredible set design, great costuming, who doesn't loves some hot tall vampires?

+

feel my rhythm - red velvet

the mv is 100% the standout element here, it's so unbelievably detailed and full of art references. however i didn't love all of the costuming so the stages didn't really stand out for me. ok that's a lie, i really liked the styling for music core 220326.

+

love - monsta x

could i have told you what the concept of this cb was? no. was it chaotic and very fun to watch anyways? absolutely. i present to you: versace. kihyun's obliques. whatever this lace suit nonsense is. idk what a 'vibe' outfit is but they should have done a stage in them.

+

skinz - onlyoneof

i've talked about the mv for skinz before, but there have been a couple of stages that are just kinda batshit crazy, like whatever the hell is happening here, and this 220114 music bank with the cropped puffer jackets and kb's tshirt bodysuit. i'm not even convinced what kb is wearing here is even considered a shirt. honestly i could have ranked this cb as a whole higher because there were just so many weird suits and i did like the mv, but i did have to limit this list at some point.

+

cupid - dkz

we love a cb of just guys being dudes! i actually do like the mv but it doesn't tie as well into the stages as i would like, so it doesn't get the full honours. but i would like offer you a selection of: pink, jonghyeong's xxxxl shirt, kyungyoon looking like a caricature of a kid in the early 90s, and kyungyoon's sexy lil cropped green bomber jacket

+

11:59 - apr project

these are all former trncg members (a third gen bg that disbanded due to an abuse and mismanagement lawsuit) that are redebuting in a new group and honestly? good for them. this mv was made with about $30 but it's one of my favourites of the year specifically because of the context and the moment at 2:41, which is SUCH a strong image and not one i was expecting. this was one of my soppy emo ballads of choice this year. also wolf baby revival when.

+

standout elements

memem story films - purple kiss // memem is probably the weakest of purple kiss' title tracks in terms of both sound and design, which was bound to happen eventually. however the story films are PHENOMENAL and i absolutely recommend watching them (plus bonus recurring character cya!): #1, #2.

creature - e'last // once again, e'last with an excellent showing of dedication to the man crop top agenda and guys bein' slutty for no real reason. show champion 220511, music bank 220513, show champion 220504, the show 220503

beauty inside - nine.i // i love these denim suits with loopy flowers and shapes that match the flower petal motif in the choreography.

x-ray - ghost9 // these sparkly vampire outfits that never appeared in any of the other styling or design but fuck supremely.

tank - nmixx - costumes that accentuate the choreography? in my jype styling???

---

part two will hopefully be up in few days!

[flying-elliska]

Book Review : One Last Stop, by Casey McQuiston

4/5 stars

(light spoilers)

Alright so this was delightful from start to finish. The concept, first of all, was great - loner college student with a knack for investigation, August, falls in love with badass butch amnesiac from the 70s who is stuck out of time in the New York subway, Jane ; awesome. I find subways fascinating, full of history and spooky vibes and potential encounters and dreary routine and urban poetry (I guess this feeds into my obsession with underground places lmao) and the story made full use of the setting. Plus something about the smut scene in an empty metro carriage at 3 am over the Manhattan Bridge was like !!! ok unrealistic but blablabla women being scared away from public spaces and queer ppl being assaulted in the metro etc etc. beautiful. healing.

the dialogue is funny, the two main characters are interesting and likeable and their chemistry has a lot of electric zing and realness to it. sweet but not desexualized or trying too hard to be 'wholesome'. something about their dynamic of two characters who have drifted between places and have never been able to really put down roots due to complicated family history, finding an anchor in each other (on a moving train no less!) really worked for me. plus points for making the love interest a beautiful, desirable, butch character (and Chinese American as well) bc i feel there is so not enough of those. plus it's nice to have a bi character that's an awkward virgin instead of a Casanova, that's also stereotype breaking. honestly good bi rep.

i also really liked the found family of quirky roommates. overall it's a pretty classic stories of early-twenties coming of age, becoming an adult, learning to let people in, putting down roots, daring to become yourself fully, letting go of your past, etc - but done very well. liked all the nods to queer history as well, how entangled it is with city life, and i loved all the 'missed connections' notes of how Jane made an impression on people throughout the years.

unpopular opinion but i was never the biggest fan of Red White and Royal Blue, found it fun but too tropey, kinda bland, and honestly overrated. (and the Disneyfication of US politics really grating. also i just read too many presidential AU fics that were like. better.) my fave part of it was the character of Nora, the foul mouthed witty friend, and the author went with that sort of tone here, which i think she does very well, plus overall it feels like a more original and fully realized story. (which, again, is just my opinion, but it's again frustrating how little wlw stories get attention compared to mlm ones, etc.) so she's kind of won me over with this one, i might pick up 'I kissed Shara Wheeler' at some point.

a few quibbles that kept it from being an all time fave : i do still find her writing a bit, hm, immature in places, not as evocative as it could be. things do get tied up almost a little too neatly, and the love interest's radical politics feel a bit more like an aesthetic gimmick but the book has a big subplot about saving a landmark diner from gentrification so i'll give that a pass. Regarding August, i am also kind of annoyed that every single shitty parents storyline ends up with 'but they tried their best and we're more alike than we know and we reconcile because family!:!!!' like it would be nice to have characters' happy ending be them enforcing their boundaries and wanting distance for once. but maybe that's not fluffy romance territory idk. Also, the cover is - if not awful, nice colors - too close to boring Canva corporate style, i hate this trend, this could have been so much cooler honestly !!! but none of those things are a big deal.

anyway !! i enjoyed it a lot and as a light, funny romantic beach read it was perfect. definitely goes on my list of fave sapphic romances.

[lostcryptids]

Hi, I’ve seen you don’t like Katie from that SONY movie and I wanted to ask you why? I don’t hate her, but its annoying that the movie basically told us “she is SO weird!! She has no friends bc she’s so unfathomably weird!!” when in reality she’s a completely normal girl... She has an unconventional hobby and she’s artsy, but that’s all? I think movies like Paranorman did a much better job with the “social outcast” trope. Katie is a bit quirky, but she’s an ordinary person who isn’t even /that/ socially awkward. Some ppl said she felt so weird and alienated from her peers solely bc she’s a lesbian, but Idk, it feels like a cop out. Sorry for the long ask

Honestly my biggest problem was i just found her whole character annoying and i didn't like watching her in the movie. Like i just didn't find her likable or sympathize with her, (but then again i didn't enjoy the movie at all so i didn't like any of the characters) (besides finding the dad kinda funny) But you're so right she's not even THAT weird the whole thing the movie is trying to sell us is "omg this family is so WEIRD AND QUIRKY" and like. they're not? the son is obsessed with dinosaurs the mom stalks people on social media the daughter makes shitty youtube poop humor videos and wears a hoodie the dad? idk is a normal dad. at least make the family a little stranger if you're gonna rely on the "we're different and weird and we like that!" idk idk. And yeah the whole throwing in her girlfriend last minute was a cop out

[capitae]

i. ppl need to stop trying to police how others play certain fcs bc not everyone's as involved in the rpc and how their fc is getting played most of the time. ii. admins and resource makers obviously shouldn't get treated differently than anyone else bc we're all just doing this for fun but ppl need to cut them / us some slack since it's more time-consuming than some ppl think. iii. some fcs are less "problematic" than the rpc makes them seem. iv. lemonade mouth IS better than all hsm movies.

          opinion  no.  1  : 

strongly agree | AGREE | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

         a  Mood  !!  because  ..  did  you  really  join  a  rp  when  there  isn’t  a  misunderstood  matt  muse  or  vixen  type  of  cindy  k  one  ??  i  think  not  !  im  kidding  but  skfjks  honestly  ?  let  people  play  their  muses  however  they  want  —-  despite  the  trope  being  overused  bc  if  it  makes  them  happy  &  gives  them  muse  to  write  who  are  you  to  be  Mean  abt  it  ??  at  the  end  of  the  day  no  muse  is  the  same  &  if  it  makes  me  hype  to  name  my  harry  muse   atlas  &  cross  the  line  between  quirky  and  straight  up  weird  i’m  allowed  to  do  so  ??   dkjfkdjs   sure ,  certain  tropes  can  get  annoying  &  you  have  every  right  to  choose  who�� you  rp  with  but  ..  stop  trying  to  shame  other  people  for  playing  a  fc  a  specific  way  ??  it’s  rping  on  tumblr  dot  com  ,  it  shouldn’t  be  that  deep  esp  when  you  think  abt  how  writing  is  supposed  to  be  fun  &  a  way  to  escape  your  every  day  life .  just  ..  don’t  be  Rude  sjdhdks 

         opinion  no.  2 : 

strongly agree | AGREE | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree 

        another  Mood  !!  highkey  its  no  secret  rph  blogs  are  usually  being  taken  for  granted  which  ..  Sucks  esp  if  you  have  rude  anons  coming  your  way  ,  but  then  again  i  also  don’t  like  those  Popular  Blogs  who  feel  entitled  to  have  Everything  just  bc  they’re  a  Big  Blog  &  have  done  quite  a  bit  for  the  rpc  ??  like  ..  there’s  nothing  more  annoying  than  seeing  how  some  people  think  they’re  better  than  others  just  because  they  make  resources  or  have  a  higher  follower  count  but  !  that’s  a  discussion  for  another  night  !!  at  the  end  of  the  day  roleplaying  on  tumblr  dot  com  is  a  hobby  &  rph  blogs  don’t  owe  you  anything  ??  

        opinion  no.  3 : 

STRONGLY AGREE | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

        yes  !!!   listeN  i  think  it’s  so  toxic  in  general  to  put someone  having  a  shitty  attitude  in  the  same  category  of  ‘  being  problematic  ’�� as  someone  who’s  straight  up  abusive  ??  and  like  ..  when  we  place  those  names  together  on  a  list  ,  it  kinda  makes  the  latter  case  seem  less  severe  in  a  way  ??  don’t  get  me  wrong  ..  you  have  every  right  to  dislike  both  people  but  there’s  this  trend  going  on  where  it’s  popular  hate  certain  ‘  problematic  ’  fcs  when  what  they  did  wasn’t  even  that  Deep  ??  it  was  shitty  for  sure  ,  and  you  have  every  right  to  be  offended  /  not  feel  comfortable  rping  against  them  ,  but  acting  as  if  they’re  the  scum  of  the  earth  doesn’t  seem  fair   to  me  ??  (  especially  when  those  blogs  are  quiet  when  it  Comes  Out  that  their  faves  are  abusers  )  also  don’t  let  the  rpc  tell  you  who  to  like  &  who  to  hate  .  like ,  do  a  quick  google  search  ,  form  your  own  opinion  &  if  you  find  yourself  realizing  that  some  things  aren’t  as  bad  as  certain  blogs  made  it  out  to  be  ,  you  have  every  right  to  believe  so  !  (  whilst  hopefully  not  condoning  that  type  of  behavior ,  though  !  )   

       opinion  no.  4 : 

STRONGLY AGREE | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

        taking  the  words  out  of  my  mouth ,  i  see  !!  zac  who  ?  blake  michael  deserves  better  !!  either  way  lemonade  mouth  was  such  a  diverse  movie  with  an  important  message  &  it  has  amazing  Bops  so  what’s  there  not  to  like  ??  also  i  truly  can’t  wait  for  the  sequel  to  fuck  me  up  !  hsm  would  never  ! 

[slytherinlesbian3]

my GOD my heart rate is irregularly fast. THIS entire thing was so heated 😩🙏

Natasha loved you like the sun rising and falling, loved you like a quiet sonnet.

But Wanda seems to always be like that. When the time came, she pushed and pushed and pushed until you were hurtling over the cliff, watching as she jumped after you.

van you sexy bitch stop being poetic for FIVE MINUTES. im gonna go Shrek on your ass the next metaphor that comes out of you 😩

It was something you hated and loved about her because past the edge was something between the lines—what you truly felt.

everyone shut the FUCK up she said the thing she said the THING SHE SAID THE TITLE

"Then let's break up!"

"We will not."

BABE CKDBXJS I know this is like the climax of the argument but I fucking cackled @ this. "this obvs isn't working so let's end it" "out of spite, I decline" LIKE THATS FUNNY we have BDE and I think that quirky of us 💕

"What the fuck!" Wanda shrieks, and a different kind of terror fills her.

THIS IS ALSO FUNNY CHSNCJSND lil baby wanda sacrificing herself 2 save nat and kill a hybrid and then suddenly she's the epitome of the Sarah schauer "uH oH sPhagheTTIos" vine pls it is 11pm and I'm crying into my pillow. from laughter or from pain? next question.

Nat to wanda: haha ur so sexy don't kill urself...what if we kissed cuz we're in love w each other...haha jk...unless ? 😳

I am *screams* MA, MA COME HERE THERES A WEIRD FUCKIN LOOKIN CAT OUTSIDE this is how I feel @ tittyanna over there. there's a weird fuckin lookin cat inside Wanda's head and suddenly she's homicidal toward herself like she's playing with goddamn kitchen knives at 3 in the morning with a lighter and a vengeance all set to go with a ouija board in the living room. this girl was SET 2 sacrifice herself n nat said "hm ok but what if you like, didn't?" And I think that was p sexy of both of them. meanwhile LIAM COMING OVER 2 DAVID UGH MARRY HIM FASTER DUMMY

anywho, as always, I am kissing u on the MOUF rn bc I am foaming and it's just. am I-am I allowed to touch the art pieces in museums? is that allowed? bc I am virtually embracing u rn w all my love. take it. inhale it. snort it if u what idk what you're into 🙄 but um...hehe...ur soooo sexyyyyy in general for writing this !!! I'm so in love with you this story and aaaaaAAAAAhnnnngngngngngng can't wait 4 the next part <3 ur doing amazing sweetie, mwah, much love, will send my midnight ramblings on the next one as well 💖💖

Between the Lines || Part XV

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader / Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader / WandaNat x Fem!Reader Summary: Vampire AU. Life has changed drastically since the 1600s. Things are always on the move, and you’ve been very careful to not get on SHIELDs radar. Living on the down-low owning a café, you’re content to live out a quiet existence. That is until the Avengers enter your life. [Set after the New York Invasion, in CAWS, and goes up to AoU. Canon divergent after.]

Warnings: none for this chapter.

Note: Regular posting? We don't know her but still be kind to me and don't let this flop LOL I think this chapter was just hard to write with certain parts which took so long </3 the next few ones have been easier to write!

Please remember taglists are gone but you can follow my library blog for notifs! <3

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Library Blog

PART XV of XX

Count: ~7.6K

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Gone.

Everything feels numb as you move through the motions.

You feel something's ringing in your ears, blocking out any other sounds. People are speaking to you, but you can't hear anything.

"Hey."

You quickly look up when you feel David's hand on your shoulder. His face is filled with worry, brows furrowed together as he looks at you. You feel something burning in the back of your throat from his look alone.

"Shit," David only says before he pulls you into a tight hug, maybe even too tight, but it feels good. "I'm so sorry that happened. I'm so fucking sorry." You don't say anything. He's not apologizing like it's his fault, but he can see the devastation on your face even if you don't show it.

"Are you ready for this?" David asks as he pulls back, looking behind you.

Everyone was there, but you couldn't even bring yourself to look at Natasha since she showed up. She had tried to approach you when they arrived at the scene, but you had sharply turned away. It didn't take too much to figure out what happened, but Wanda was the one who explained anyway.

You couldn't look at Wanda either.

Liam was the first to speak when silence fell, planning what they needed to do. He was the furthest removed from this situation; it was easy for him.

They called for Tony right away, who arrived on the scene shortly after to handle the body. He had looked at you, and it was like he recognized something behind your eyes. He slapped you on the shoulder and told you it would be okay before he left.

You stared at the small apartment, a police car at the front, and a confused babysitter at the door along with Allison.

God, Allison looked tired but confused.

You felt something constrict in your heart so painfully, squeezing the life out of you, threatening to break your ribs next. You could see the news being broken to them. The babysitter's hand flew to her mouth, and Allison stood there with her eyes wide, unsure how to take the information.

"No," you croak. "I'll never be ready but if I don't go there, I'll only be a coward along with a murderer."

David looked ready to protest, but you had started walking off, approaching the policemen.

"Lainey!" Allison cries, breaking out of the babysitter's grasp as the young girl flies into your legs, wrapping her arms around them as she buried her face into you. "The policemen are saying mom is gone! Tell them that's not true! She's just working!"

You feel a sting hit the back of your throat. Your hands balled into fists tightly for one moment before you released them, wrapping your arms around Allison.

"Allison, sweet pea," you pick her up and kiss the side of her head, and it was something in your voice that Allison picked up that she began wailing. "I know, I know," you whisper as you bounce her in your arms to comfort her. She was so young still, growing bigger every day but not even nine yet.

The policemen could see that you were close with the family as they looked at each other.

"Does Allison have any other immediate family who can look after her? Her father, perhaps?"

You shook your head. "Her father passed away just after she was born. It's just been the two of them for a long time. I believe she has an aunt in Santa Barbara. Her contact details should be somewhere in the house, let me go grab it."

The babysitter steps aside for you to walk into the house, and Allison is still crying as you rub her back. You find the contact information on the fridge and pass it to the police officer, and they take it but continue to look at Allison.

"We should be taking her down to the station with us until her aunt can come grab her," one of them said.

Allison wailed louder at the words. "No!" She screamed. "I want to stay with Elaine! You can't take me away! Tell them, Elaine!"

You shushed her softly as you patted her back, and she wrapped her arms around you tighter.

"I'm listed as one of Allison's approved guardians to pick her up from school," you tell the policemen. "That should be enough for her to stay with me while her aunt makes a flight in."

The policemen noted what you said down, and you were sure it would be so he could check. They grabbed your information before you left.

Silence fell upon the house once more after, save for Allison's soft crying.

"I can't believe it..." the babysitter said, shaking her head.

"You should go home for the night," you tell the babysitter. "Did Deborah pay you beforehand?"

The babysitter shook her head. "She was supposed to when she got home..."

"What's your Venmo?" You pulled out your phone. You give the sitter extra pay for the distressing night and send her off.

"C'mon," you whisper to Allison. "Do you want to stay here or do you want to come over to my place?"

"Your place," Allison whispers, and you nod.

You manage to grab a few of Allison's things from the place before you walk out of the apartment. You notice David, Natasha, and Wanda standing across the street. You place Allison down, and she makes a noise of dissent at it, but you tell her she needs to put on a coat.

"Where are you going to take her?" David asks, the words only making it to your ear.

"To the compound," you say quietly. "I can't take her back to my place. It could be compromised because of Tatyana, and Tony's security system is better than mine. I'll have someone pick up Allison's aunt at the airport for them to meet at Stark Tower after."

"Alright, we'll meet you there," David says softly. "Natasha is asking if she can ride with you and Allison."

You purse your lip, but when you look at Allison, you find the little girl with wet eyes staring at Natasha across the street.

You sigh. "Fine."

Natasha quickly makes her way over to you and Allison when David gives her a nod.

"Hey, sweetheart," Natasha says softly to Allison. The little girl's eyes well up again at Natasha's gentle tone—honestly, yours does too. "It's going to be okay."

Allison nods but doesn't say anything as Natasha offers her hand for the young girl to take. The three of you walk to your car silently, and Natasha sits in the back with Allison. The young girl lays her head in Natasha's lap, and you look once in the rearview mirror, eyes connecting with green ones before you quickly look away and begin the quiet car ride back.

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The night passed quickly, and Allison was tuckered out for the most part. But she wouldn't sleep, insisting she wanted to talk to Steve, like Captain America could somehow make it all better.

"I'm sorry, Steve, I know it's late—"

"Don't ever apologize for that," Steve cuts you off. "Shit, we're trying to pack up our things right now for the next flight out. If Tony's jet wasn't being fixed right now, I would be home already."

"No, god, you don't have to—Bucky—"

"Isn't going anywhere. We've lost track of him and don't have a lead. You need me."

Your heart fills up with something that you can't form into words.

"Okay," you relent. "Come home soon."

"Already on my way. Pass the phone to Allison."

You hum before you turn and give your phone to the young girl.

"Steve?" She says in her tiny voice.

"Hey, it's my best girl," You hear Steve say.

You leave them to have their conversation. You step out of the room but lean against the wall, idly listening. Allison looked so young and so tired. She sounds so heartbroken, and Captain America's voice is the only thing holding her together.

God, you did that.

You bite your tongue as Allison finally falls asleep, and Steve mutters a gentle goodnight before he hangs up. You quietly re-enter the room, putting the phone away before you tuck Allison in.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper as you kiss her forehead.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"I need some fresh air," you mutter to the group as you pass them and head down to the main floor. The air is brisk, the moon reaching its peak for the night, and you take off into the trees. You head deep in, hearing the water by the stream.

When you reach the clearing, you stop.

You swallow a rather large lump in your throat. Like a newborn, the emotions stir inside you, threatening to rage and spillover. You take a shaky breath in an attempt to control it—to reign it back in.

But when you think about what you'll have to return to, what will come in the morning, you feel yourself stifle a sob. Fuck, it was all falling apart.

This was a mistake—all of this was a fucking mistake. You should've sent Steve on his way after giving him those books that day you met him.

You should've never invited Natasha to the park date with Allison.

You should've never made promises you didn't know how to keep.

You hear something rustle behind you, and you whip around immediately only to find Natasha coming out from behind a tree. You relax from your defensive posture and turn back around.

"You shouldn't be out here," you say hoarsely. "It's cold and late."

"I could say the same thing to you," Natasha returns at you, and you could practically see her brow raised while she said it.

"Vampires don't feel the cold like you do," you tell her softly. "Our body adjusts."

"It's still late."

"I told you I needed fresh air," you still don't turn around to face her. "Go back inside, Natasha."

"Are you going to look at me when you come back inside?"

Silence.

"If you aren't, I'm going to stay here until you look at me."

You close your eyes and grit your teeth. "Natasha, please—"

"No, I need to you look—"

"I CAN'T!" You scream as you whip around, eyes flooded with tears.

Natasha's mouth remains agape as she looks at you. Fuck, she's never seen you cry before. Even when you had talked about your life, you hadn't shed a tear.

And now? You were on the brink of drowning in your own tears.

"I can't look at you without feeling the absolute worst about myself!" You sobbed, anguish laced in your voice.

Natasha thinks then she can feel something breaking inside her at the sound of devastation in your cries. Your throat feels raw, burning with shame and wreckage. Your emotions are heightened; you're nearly overcome with hysterics.

"I told you!" You gritted. "I told you that my vows to love and protect mean nothing. I can't even keep one girl's only parent alive—how the hell am I supposed to protect you?"

"That wasn't your fault," Natasha tells you determinedly as she takes a step closer.

"I don't want to hear it, Natasha," you sneered. "I can place the blame all I want on Tatyana, but it doesn't change that I'm the reason Deborah was a target in the first place."

Natasha clenches her teeth because maybe now isn't the time to tell you it's not your fault when you obviously don't want to hear it, not ready to accept it.

"I don't need you to protect me," Natasha says instead.

You let out a snort with a shake of your head. "Right," your voice is despondent. "Because you're Natasha Romanoff, Avenger, ready to clear her ledger." You wipe at your face as you begin to make your way back in.

Natasha grabs your wrist to stop you from passing her. Her eyes are lined red, and you know you're the worst scum to live on this earth for hurting her like you are now.

But you're broken, and you are so, so tired.

Neither of you looks at each other, continuing to stare forward.

"Don't you get tired, Romanoff?" You uttered. "Don't you ever get tired of broken promises?"

Natasha grips your wrist tighter.

"I do," you muttered. "I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not, just so I deserve to love the hero. Everything I love breaks, Romanoff. You're no exception."

With that, you rip your wrist from Natasha's grasp and keep walking, clenching your jaw when you hear a choked sob.

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The hand-off of Allison is emotional. The young girl is obviously close with her aunt but not as close as she was with you. She cries, begging you to keep her, and you hate your existence at that moment.

You hate being a vampire, destined to never grow old—unable to keep Allison.

"I'll write," you promise Allison. "I'll write, and we'll video chat often. You can call me whenever you want to."

The promises seem to subdue Allison, but she's still weeping. You stand up, looking at Allison's aunt, Lisette.

"Please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever need anything. I've set up a trust fund for Allison for school, so you don't have to worry about that."

The woman gives you a kind smile. "You were really close to them, huh?"

You nodded. "I love Allison. Her mother was sweet as well. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I'm sorry for yours as well," Lisette tells you before she gives you one last forlorn smile.

And then they're gone.

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Natasha watches you.

Days have passed since that night in the clearing, and you haven't looked at her once. She notices that you don't seek out Wanda either.

Something stirs painfully inside of Natasha. You were avoiding her, and that was breaking Natasha's heart. She could see you. She could always see you.

Natasha loved you like the sun rising and falling, loved you like a quiet sonnet. So, to watch you loathe yourself—to blame yourself was like watching your flame go out.

Broken promises or not on your end, Natasha's vows to you meant that she was invested in keeping your flame going when you could not.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

This is it, Wanda thinks. This is where the line was drawn, and Natasha's patience runs out. She would finally be berated, a well-deserved scolding from the redhead. After all, Wanda can't fathom why Natasha would seek her out otherwise.

They sit in silence for a long time before Natasha opens her mouth.

"Honestly, when I first realized Elaine was developing feelings for you, I didn't know if I had it in me to share her with you," the redhead confessed. "It was hard. You're beautiful, and when you're not being a complete bitch, you're witty, sarcastic, and funny. Although, I will admit there's a certain charm when you're an asshole too."

Wanda doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know why her mouth won't open and tell Natasha that she's beautiful too. So insanely beautiful that it sometimes drives Wanda mad with insecurity. And on top of that, Natasha was also witty, sarcastic, and funny, but also clearly more mature and gracious than Wanda.

"I think a part of me knew right away that you were always going to be something more to her. There's history between the two of you that I can't get involved in," Natasha doesn't even look at Wanda as she says all of this. "And in the end—because I love her—I told her to let herself love you too. I thought that you would love and protect her in ways I couldn't."

The ending words sting Wanda. The implication of them burns.

Natasha finally looks over at Wanda. "But you don't do what you're doing to people you love."

"Are you telling me to stop loving her then?" Wanda asks harshly.

"No, I'm telling you to do better," Natasha deadpans. "I told you there's history between you and her that I can't come in between—and I'm okay with that. Because just like you, there's history between her and me that you can't come in between. You need to learn how to be okay with that."

Wanda closes her eyes because these are things she already knows. God, doesn't she know it, but she can't seem to make her brain listen to her.

"So, despite everything we may do to her, she'll never give up on us. She can get tired and be past the brink of nothing, and she will still find it in her to keep us," Natasha says softly, and Wanda can feel the back of her eyes watering.

Wand knows this; she knows this of you. She knows your kind and forgiving heart, and that's what makes her cry because—

"But I don't want us to be the people that keep pushing her past nothing because we know she loves us and will keep loving us."

The urge to snap at Natasha springs forth like a mousetrap. The impulse to tell Natasha that she has no idea what she's talking about and whatever was happening between you and Wanda was none of her business.

And it takes everything within Wanda to suppress it, and she feels a little more rational when she does.

They sit in silence again, but Wanda feels a little closer, and she wonders if Natasha does too.

"Does it bother you when you see me with her?" Natasha asks quietly. "Do you wish that I weren't around?"

Wanda supposes it's a fair question, that perhaps Natasha was looking for a reason why Wanda was the way she was around her.

But this was also one of those things Wanda couldn't quite explain with coherence. And it might only be because she feels closer to Natasha in this moment with rationality that she's able to admit what she's about to say.

When she says it, Wanda doesn't look at Natasha, staring intently at the ground instead.

"It does but not always for the same reasons. It feels safe to keep you at a distance, but I also want you closer."

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Hours—days pass you like nothing.

As a vampire, time was so fleeting. But the numbness? It kept you in a melancholy daze.

This feeling reminds you of the days right after you had lost Tatyana. The despair of being unable to keep your own promises, feeling villainized by your own guilt, and lashing at others.

You want more than anything to deserve Natasha. And while you understand that it's Natasha's decision whether or not you deserve her, you know you don't. But you still love her achingly and pitifully. You yearn for her deeply, wanting to bite her and keep her close. You don't think there's ever been enough lifetimes for how long you could love Natasha.

You wonder if Natasha would tell you that you deserved her if you had told her those words—about how you really felt. But all you do is hide, and you hide from her and hide from Wanda.

It's easy to see what everyone is wondering.

Did you blame Wanda?

But that was something you couldn't answer. There were parts of the situation you blamed her for, but there were parts that you blame yourself for, and there were parts that you didn't blame anyone for.

You blamed Wanda for her recklessness and eagerness to rush after Tatyana. You blamed her for not listening to you.

You blamed yourself for not realizing that Tatyana had always been close by because you had gotten close with humans and were unwilling to use your powers on them. If you had not insisted on the gloves, perhaps you would've known much earlier on.

But the parts that you don't blame anyone for were the parts you hated yourself for the most. They were the parts that made you hide from Natasha, and what you knew were the reasons you didn't deserve her.

Because despite killing Deborah, being the reason why Allison had no mother anymore, you would do it again if you had to. You would choose to save Wanda in nearly any situation, and you would choose to save Natasha in the same. And if you were ever put in a position where you had to choose between them, you would prefer to end your own life.

Leo was wrong. You were not a good person.

Perhaps you weren't a bad one, but you were no hero.

And you wonder if this was what Tatyana meant to do all along—show you what you were capable of to keep what you loved safe. And if it was, had that meant you didn't love Tatyana the way she wanted you to—the way you did now—and that was why you broke your vows to her.

The thoughts made you ill.

A sudden noise makes you nearly break your neck while looking over. You had been hiding on the roof, drinking a bottle of whiskey by yourself even though it did nothing to soothe your pain.

You see who it is and turn your head away disinterestedly. You know you shouldn't, but you feel ambushed.

"I don't want company," you say as you take a swig from the bottle.

"I don't care."

You sigh as you stand up, walking briskly to leave when you're stopped. You look down at your arm and see your wrist being gripped.

You look back up. "Wanda, I'm tired. I don't want to chat or whatever it is you want to provoke me into tonight."

Wanda bristles at the words, gripping your wrist momentarily harder before she relaxes but doesn't let you go. She takes a deep breath before she exhales.

"We need to talk about it," Wanda's jaw clenches uncomfortably as she gets the words out.

"Why?" You demand. "What exactly is there to talk about? Whatever happened, happened. We can't change it and for once, I don't want to do a rehash of it to understand."

You keep your voice steady and calm, which only serves to make Wanda more upset.

"Because you blame me!" Wanda angrily fumes. "You blame me and you can't even say that! All you do is forgive me and because you can't this time, you hide!"

You rip your wrist away from Wanda, dropping the nearly empty whiskey bottle on the ground. It shatters, but you can't even hear it over the blood pumping in your ears.

"I know it wasn't intentional," you retort back at her. "But even if it wasn't intentional, I don't want to talk about it. What exactly do you want from me, Wanda? Do you want me to say it's okay? Do you want forgiveness for what happened? Then, fine, I forgive you and it's okay." You let out a tired sigh. "Are we done?"

You try to push past her and walk for the door, but Wanda blocks your way and pushes you back heatedly.

"We are not done!" Wanda tells you hotly, her face flushed.

She was all sharp edges that pressed uncomfortable against you, threatening to pierce you, and you knew whatever came out would be horrid.

But Wanda seems to always be like that. When the time came, she pushed and pushed and pushed until you were hurtling over the cliff, watching as she jumped after you.

It was something you hated and loved about her because past the edge was something between the lines—what you truly felt.

"For christ's sake! Even if it wasn't intentional, I'm the one who made you lose control. I was reckless, and I made you protect me. You killed that woman for me!" Wanda ran her hand through her hair before swinging her hand back in front of her.

"What do you want me to say?" You bit out, turning away from her.

"Just admit you're fucking angry with me!"

You whipped back around at Wanda, glaring at her.

"You don't think I am?!" You yelled at her, your jaw clenching, eyes ushered with tears. "Allison lost her mother because of me—because of what I chose to do to save you because you wouldn't fucking listen to me!"

"Everything has been so fucking hard, and you've yet to endeavor to make it any easier!" You hissed at her.

"Do you enjoy breaking my heart—breaking Natasha's? Do you like watching when I have to pretend that I don't see Natasha's heart breaking when I love her." You stood close to Wanda's face as you spoke, putting your hands on her shoulders as you gripped her desperately. Wanda's eyes are lining with tears as she looks at you.

"Why do you put me in situations where I become the worst version of myself when I fucking love you too!" The emotion in your throat is raw as your lips tremble.

"Then let's break up!" Wanda screams.

"We will not!"

Wanda sucks in a painful breath between her lips at your vehement refusal. The painful beating of her heart thuds against her ribs, slow and steady.

Your lips press into a stubborn line as your hands drag down to her elbows. "You do not get to run away when things are hard," you grit at her. "I don't know how the fuck to fix what's wrong with us but I love you."

It feels like Wanda's stomach dropped. Her limbs are going numb.

"I love you," you repeat, your tone heated with passion behind the words. "And I know you love me too. You wouldn't be standing here crying like that if you didn't."

The words surprise Wanda, but she realizes her cheeks are wet, and her throat feels raw for other reasons. You lift your hand to wipe away her tears, and Wanda chokes on a sob.

"I'm sorry," Wanda crumbles against you, face into your shoulder as her own wracks from her cries. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry."

You hold her close, pressing kisses into the side of her head. You can't tell her it's okay because it's really not, but you appreciate her apology.

"I know, I know," you whisper. "We're gonna figure it out. You, me, Natasha—we're gonna figure it out. Even though we're tired, we're gonna keep going until we get it."

And Wanda vows at that moment that she's going to do whatever it takes to fix it with you and with Natasha. If she can make it right, perhaps all three of them can finally be happy.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The headache seems to come and go more often lately, Wanda finds. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or rhythm, and Wanda can only deduce that it's the stress.

Things have been slowly returning to normal, or whatever they were before their confrontation with Tatyana. Your grief still lingers in the air, but you no longer avoid them.

Wanda had found you yesterday with Natasha, sitting outside on the steps. Your head was in her lap as she stroked your head, and tears fell from your eyes as you kept them closed.

Wanda had thought it was ironic. She seems to always be apologizing to you, and you seem to be always apologizing to Natasha. And Natasha? Well, she was the stern but gracious one to you and to her.

And when she watched you sit up, pulling on Natasha's shirt desperately as you pressed your lips sorrowfully against the redhead, Wanda's head hurt like screws drilling into her temples, but she couldn't look away.

"I don't know, I don't think we can rely on just waiting for Wanda to have a vision of where Tatyana to be. I'm not even sure if that was something that Tatyana had just wanted her to see."

Wanda's eyes refocus as she looks at David stroking his chin. They've been in a meeting for the last hour, trying to dig up anything that could find Tatyana again.

They've tried digging through all the street cameras, meeting up with anyone you've befriended in your life to investigate, and Liam and Wanda had tried the ritual locating spell once more.

Everything came up dry.

You were just about to say something when your phone began to ring. Your brow furrowed.

You picked it up and placed it on speaker. "Stacey?"

"Hello?" It was a frighteningly quiet whisper, filled with panic and urgency.

"Stacey, is that you? Why are you whispering?" You ask with a frown.

"Please, please come get me," Stacey desperately whispers back, and you can hear her on the verge of tears, which was unusual for the office gossiper.

"Why? What's wrong—where are you?" You ask immediately, lowering your own voice when you realize you could pose more risk to her if you were speaking too loudly through the phone.

"Josh invited me out. He said it was a small get together. He told me to meet him at the rooftop at work but—but—" Stacey's voice shuttered, and you could hear her holding back the sob. "When I came here, he was dead!"

You immediately stood up, Wanda and Nat along with you. You started walking out of the room quickly while Natasha prepared the car keys.

"Where are you?" You asked. "Work still?"

It was silent for a moment, and you wondered if Stacey nodded instead of actually speaking.

"Yes," she finally whispered. "There's something else in the building."

"Other people?"

"I don't know...monsters. Other coworkers came here tonight too."

"Are they okay?"

"I think so. I ran, and now I'm hiding. I have to be quiet. They hear so well."

You paused.

"Stacey," you said slowly. "Why did you call me? Why haven't you called 911?" You asked warily.

"I heard them talking. They're trying to be quiet too—they're scared of you coming."

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

"We're going to try to find where the hybrids are taking the humans," David volunteers as he drags Liam off with him.

"You said there could be more than one, right?" Tony begins to levitate off the ground. "My heat scanners are picking up a lot of bodies in the building. I'm going to get the hostages."

Tony bursts off, leaving you with Wanda and Natasha.

"We need to find whatever hybrids are in the building and take them out," you decide. "Stacey said she was hiding on the roof. Tony's making his way up, so let's get to the roof first and make our way down and meet him in the middle."

The two women nod at you. The ground floor is eerily quiet, and you determine the humans are too far up the building for you to hear them. It's almost painful having to wait for the elevator to take the three of you up to the roof.

You open the door quietly, and you can hear someone's muffled breathing in the distance.

"Stacey?"

The sound of your voice has Stacey popping her head out from what she was hiding behind. Her eyes were watering, and her face was blotchy as she stumbled onto her feet to start running to you. Just as she was a few feet away from you, something blurs past you, coming right behind Stacey as they grip her tightly and hand around her neck.

The scene is both familiar and new to you.

You're brought back to the time Leo took you to see what Tatyana had created in that decimated village and when you were at Liam's home.

This thing in front of you looked like a normal human being until it could bring forth those sickly dark veins under its eyes.

It seemed much more coherent, and that was new.

"Please, please, please..." Stacey began crying. "Don't kill me, Gerard."

Gerard.

One of the missing people.

Except he wasn't missing anymore—he'd be changed.

You try not to make any sudden movements in case it's not as coherent as you thought and gets spooked into killing Stacey.

"Let the girl go," you tell it calmly. The hybrid being has shifty eyes and starts to move slowly, holding Stacey threateningly close. Its plan seemed to be using Stacey to escape unharmed.

"Move, and I'll kill her." His voice was raspy.

The three of you don't move, letting him near you to walk past. All of your minds are racing on how you'll save Stacey.

Natasha is the one to notice and take action first.

Stacey's trembling so hard that she stumbles when she accidentally steps on Gerard's foot. The distraction causes Gerard's attention to look away for just a moment, but Natasha pounces at the opportunity.

Natasha shoots a widow bite out, landing it straight on Gerard's hand, the electric shocks activating immediately. The second Gerard lets go, Natasha moves forward to grab Stacey and push her out of his reach. Stacey's head hits the floor, and she's unmoving.

Gerard lets out a rabid scream at the pain, still forcing through it to leap forward and into Natasha. They tussle and roll on the ground before Gerard bares his fangs at her, shocking Natasha into thinking he's going to bite her.

But he doesn't. He wraps his arms around Natasha so tightly it threatens to crush her windpipe, stumbling back up with his new hostage to get out of this situation. He rips the widow bite off of him as he stares menacingly at you.

Wanda had moved to check on Stacey, who seemed to be okay, just unconscious.

You were frozen in your spot.

You should've been the one to go after Gerard when he stumbled. What use was vampire speed when Natasha's brain seemed to work faster than yours?

The situation turns precarious with the threat still clear in the air.

Move, and the hybrid would kill Natasha by ripping her throat out.

Wanda's eyes trail the hybrid closely. He's desperate as he holds Natasha tightly to him, claws at her throat. Too many things are happening, and Wanda finds it difficult to remain focused. She can hear you thinking rapid-fire thoughts on how to save Natasha. She can hear Natasha's thoughts on how to get out of the situation unharmed. She can hear the deranged hybrid's thoughts on how to escape.

But most importantly, Wanda can hear her own thoughts. And the desperation of the situation has the quiet voice in her screaming finally.

This is your chance—leave her!

Despite how cold Wanda has been towards Natasha, the thought of abandoning her was unfathomable.

Leave her, and we won't need to share!

The voice was so vehement, so unlike her. Wanda's eyes drift over to you for only a second.

She's mine to love, and I'll never let anyone have her.

The words hit Wanda like a cold bucket of water.

That was not her.

All those headaches, the quiet voice in her head, the raging jealousy—that hadn't been her. Those times that she and Liam did the ritual circles and thought they didn't work. They had, and they hadn't realized because Tatyana was in the room with them every time—inside Wanda.

The notion of it makes Wanda's stomach twist so painfully she has to fight the feeling of her limbs going numb.

Time ticks faster than Wanda wants, but it only takes looking at Natasha once to decide what she needs to do. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Willing every ounce of mental fortitude it takes to make up for the lack of knowledge by sheer raw power, Wanda locks Tatyana in.

There's resistance immediately, but Wanda holds steady.

Wanda's eyes lock with Natasha. The explicit trust in Natasha's eyes dredges up a fiery emotion so powerful inside Wanda that she almost laughs.

Jealous of Natasha? Disliking her? Wanting to keep her distance?

It's so absurd, Wanda thinks. There's nothing more Wanda wishes than to have more time to close the distance between them.

A moment passes, but it feels like a million things are being said between them.

Don't.

It's the only way.

Don't you fucking dare.

I'm sorry.

"We only have one chance to get this right," Wanda says quietly enough for you to hear. "So, you better catch her if you don't want her to break both her legs."

You only get to be confused for two seconds before Wanda conjures up the red wisps of her powers, bending her back before whipping forward. The wisps surround the hybrid and Natasha, forcibly separating the two as Wanda uses one hand to hurl Natasha into your direction.

You brace yourself at the impact, catching Natasha safely, but the blow causes you to fly back into the stone ledge. Your breath hitches painfully as a result, but Natasha is safe from having her legs broken, as Wanda said.

The next moment happens so quickly you feel your heart drop into your stomach.

Wanda uses her powers to propel herself into the hybrid at break-neck speed, tumbling them right over the edge. It happens in slow motion then—she turns her head back slightly, looking at the two of you with sorrowful acceptance. She looks like she wants to say something, but too many words are left and not enough time.

So, Wanda doesn't say anything at all. She merely gives the two of you a minuscule upward quirk of her lips, and it's devastatingly heartbreaking. She turns her head away, and just like that—they disappear from view.

"Wanda!" Natasha screams as she takes advantage of your grip that has loosened from shock.

Next thing you know, you're watching Natasha leap and dive headfirst after Wanda.

"Fuck!" You curse, panic, and adrenaline coursing through your veins.

You blur to the edge, but they're falling too fast down a 700ft story building. You can't jump after them and save them even if you caught them. The impact of the colliding into the ground from this height would kill them regardless.

You turn, forcing every ounce of your body to go as fast as supernaturally possible back into the building, using the stairs to go one level lower. You pry the elevator doors open, looking up briefly to see the car above you. Grabbing the guiding rails, you leap.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Wanda feels the wind whipping into her face as she falls. The hybrid tries to claw at her, and Wanda doesn't have enough control to keep Tatyana inside her and conjure up more magic. All she can do is use just enough to enhance her hand before using it to force the hybrid's heart out like she had with Ultron.

Unlike Ultron, who was made of metal, this hybrid was made from flesh. The consequence was uncomfortably warm and messy, but the body goes limp, and Wanda lets go without another thought.

The view opens up, and Wanda feels the unwanted terror at seeing herself fall, but she doesn't attempt to save herself. Instead, she lets her body turn over so she can face the sky. Maybe if she's lucky, she'll see a glimpse of you and Nat leaning over the edge and looking at her.

But instead, the sight of Natasha only a few feet away from her greets her.

"What the fuck!" Wanda shrieks, and a different kind of terror fills her. She immediately reaches her hand out, and Natasha uses it to firmly close the distance between them.

Natasha wraps her arm around Wanda, flipping them around, so she's underneath with the younger girl on top. As she looks around, she thinks about shooting her grappling hook through the glass of the building and hopes it takes. But if it did, there was a chance they could snap something or die from the impact of the collision. But they were going to die if they didn't do anything at all.

As they get closer to the ground, Natasha is about to try her luck when Wanda suddenly flips them over, so she's protecting Natasha from the impact of hitting the ground.

Wanda knows she needs more power to save them but using enough of her powers would mean she wouldn't have enough to keep Tatyana locked in. It doesn't even take half a second for Wanda to decide. She forces Tatyana out, blocking her from coming back in as she closes her eyes and surrounds her powers around them.

The air around them begins to slow, their bodies jerking slightly at the force of it. Natasha can see the ground now and sees everyone gathered at the bottom. She sees Tony flying with all of his boosters at max to make it to them, trying to force himself to go faster when he realizes it still won't be fast enough. Wanda pushes more of her powers out to save them, even though she's exhausted, and doing so physically feels like the first layer of skin is being ripped off.

Still, using her powers at the last possible second didn't do them any favors as they crashed into you and David into the ground. The two vampires break their fall but at the cost of their own ankles, legs, and back-breaking upon collision.

They hear agonizing gasps, and they scramble off, ignoring their own pain. Your ankle is bent at an unnatural angle when David doesn't move at all.

They call your name along with David's in distress. But just as quick as it happened, the venom in your body takes over and mends everything.

"Oh, god," David bemoans while Liam kneels next to him, checking him over. "That hurt so bad—I think I'm going to have ghost pains from that for a while."

You merely grunt before you sit up, rotating your ankle. "I'm okay," you groan.

Tony lands and takes his helmet off as he runs up towards Natasha. "Are you okay?" He asks before he snaps. "What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?"

Natasha is sitting with her legs spread and Wanda in between them. They look relatively unharmed save for some nasty bruises and cuts.

Wanda looks like she's on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Why would you do that!" Wanda screams at Natasha. "You could've died—are you fucking stupid?"

"You were the one to jump off first with that stupid look on your face that said acceptance all over it!" Natasha shouted back at her. "What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Let me die!" Wanda shrieks. "I had Tatyana trapped in my consciousness, and if I died, I could've taken her right along with me, and this would've been over. But because your stupid ass came after me, I had to cut her out and save us."

Wanda's words clear up the situation for everyone, and it's like it clicks differently for multiple people about the situation lately.

"Yeah, it would've been really, really over for you," Natasha berates anyway. "That's not what an acceptable outcome is when we haven't exhausted all other options."

"You're the one who told me to stop being that person who keeps dragging you guys past nothing. I was fixing what I've done!" Wanda sneers at her in her asshole way that drives Natasha crazy.

"I said to do better, not go fucking die! Do you know what kind of heart attack you gave me?" Natasha snaps back.

Wanda merely screws her face up in annoyance before she falls into a slightly abashed expression. Her head feels clear for the first time since Ultron, and Wanda wonders distantly how long Tatyana had been inching into her mind.

But more importantly, with a clear mind, looking back on everything suddenly makes sense, like a thundering waterfall.

While she had felt like an outsider between you and Natasha, it wasn't because Wanda wanted you without Natasha.

Wanda had wanted to be included between you and Natasha. All those looks of jealousy and irritation that she couldn't place were partly because of Tatyana influencing her but also because Wanda had been jealous of you as well.

You were someone who got to touch and be loved by Natasha—something that Wanda had been curious about and desired deep down, locked away by Tatyana.

"I'm sorry," Wanda mutters, cheeks red at the realization of it. Just mortifying. She had been in love with Natasha and was just horrid to the other woman the entire time. Yes, partly because of the mind control, but Wanda couldn't imagine how she would reconcile with Natasha after months of hostility. "Thank you for jumping after me and saving me."

She'd be lucky to even have a close friendship with the redhead, never mind trying anything romantic.

Natasha is stunned into silence at the easy apology and gratitude. She looks at Wanda's abashed yet solemn face and can't help but be charmed by it.

Wanda is endearing and even more so that the other girl doesn't even realize she's still holding onto Natasha's hand.

And just like that, it clicks into place. Natasha only has a few seconds to wonder if it clicks into place so easily when Wanda allows herself to be open like she had that night and now.

"I finally figured out what it is about you that bothers me so fucking much," Natasha says after a moment.

Wanda looks at her with pursed lips and confusion. It hadn't really occurred to Wanda that Natasha would be bothered by her—aggravated, yes, in response to how Wanda treated her. But not bothered.

"I want you closer too," Natasha breathes, slamming her lips into Wanda's, gripping the girl's neck to pull her closer. When Natasha pulls back, Wanda is staring at her, breathless, flushed, and shocked. But then tears well up to her eyes, and Wanda starts crying from happiness.

You sigh loudly and dramatically. Your heart is slowly returning to its normal rate. Jesus Christ, these two. But you can't control the relief and utter bliss that's flooding your system.

"You two are going to be the fucking death of me," you mutter, smiling, and everyone laughs.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

In a dimly lit room, eyes suddenly open.

"Huh," Tatyana scoffs. "That little witch broke the connection. How dull."

[kannra21]

@innovativestruggles I checked and the app is rly cool, I'm impressed. 🤩 V detailed.

Yea it rly depends on the person. For instance- I had a Gemini friend in high school and although we had our differences, I was that one friend whom she could talk to earnestly bc I was always honest and she knew that I wouldn't judge her for stupid stuff. She was wild and sometimes you need this kind of people to keep us in high spirits, it's refreshing yk.

On the other hand, my sister is Gemini and we're different as day and night. Therefore we'll never understand each other, sometimes I get along better with others than with her. The funny thing is- we get into fights but we also share the same thought, like telepathy (I think this is sibling thing or smtng 😂), and when we realize that we're thinking the same thing we high-five each other. It's a quirky relationship I'd say.

She's a risk-taker/I hate risks. She's brash with words/I think before I speak. She loves routines/I hate it. She loves self-rewarding system/When I need stuff I take it. She's a better student/I'm taking it easy. She loves cute aesthetic/I love dark stuff. She eats only healthy things/For me food is food. She explodes with rage/I go cold. She's very active/I'm very lazy (I call it self-care lol). She's harsh to herself/I'm trying to be kind. She's judgemental/I'm accepting. She feels uncomfortable asking for help/When I need help I ask for it. She has better fashion sense than I have. She loves watching productivity tutorials/I hate it when people tell me what to do. She also likes educational videos/I watch crime series and psychological stuff. She hates horrors/I love the thrills. She doesn't know how to apply makeup/I know. She knows how to paint nails/I don't. She's thin/I have boobs and ass lol. She doesn't have internet friends/I have. Therefore she has more irl minions/I don't like using people. She's book-smart/I'm wise. She's nearsighted but doesn't need glasses/I have 20/20 vision. I'm better in art than her. She's fast-paced and sometimes messy/I like taking my time to make things proper. But she's also the one who does house chores the most, almost like a germaphobe haha. She's trying to be thrifty but fails/I'm thrifty. She knows how to cook. I'm more likely to break the promise, she gets v disappointed bc of that. She has tendency to shut out people when she doesn't have time for them, but when no one talks to her she gets offended which is funny bc lol what did you expect? I can be selfish and selfless depending on the person. And she's greedier which can be a positive and a negative trait bc there's a thin line between ambition and ego. I'm more manipulative and bc of her brash attitude she's more predictable. I'm more in tact with my feelings/She's more oriented towards her responsibilities. She'll offend you out of nowhere/I literally never start a fight but I'll end one. Our parents are mean towards her and she asks me to defend her but I'll do it depending on how good she's towards me bc I'm not naive. I also feel a bit guilty bc I'm a year older so I should probably take her side nonetheless. The most genuine I ever saw her was when I made her cry from the animation I drew although I didn't find it that emotional haha.

But we love literature and metaphors. We love watching anime together and commenting on stuff. She loves talking to me during walks bc I'm the only one she can be herself with. She wants to draw with me to improve her skills and she looks up to me so to speak. I look up to her regarding her grades and I'm a little jealous bc I don't get how she has so much energy for difficult tasks.

It's funny how Pisces and Gemini are the only two signs who're mirroring each other and Pisces are swimming in opposite directions. Libra is the only sign that's balancing the two sides.

Legit I can't get over the fact that we be having the exact same ships with every anime we share. Ngl we are two peas in a pod 💞

Haha can't believe we're really having the same taste in everything! 😂💗

Gojohime is hilarious bc they've known each for over 10 years and yet Gojo is dealing with his feelings like a hormonal teen while Utahime is a honest individual so ofc she'll get miffed. For some reason they work well together when the serious situations are involved and they're also on a first-name basis.

Some are even pointing that their dynamic is quite parental- Gojo is the crackhead dad while Utahime is the caring strict mom of the Jujutsu High. Gege said that Gojo views her bad attitude as a joke so he thinks that they're just messing around instead of actually teasing her. Not to mention that he put competition methods in the box that Utahime enjoys bc Utahime likes sports like Baseball so he probably kept that small detail in mind. And he's randomly involving her in discussions and asking her for opinion because he's really just seeking her attention although he's failing at it with his stupid comebacks.

I think that Gojo is being mean towards himself when he's pushing her away with this type of attitude because he refuses to get attached to anyone. There's a possibility of people important to him dying and this would destroy him because, although he's unbreakable in physical sense, his soul is something else. Sorcerer's world is filled with tragedy and he knows that firsthand, only the craziest are able to stay at the top. When he calls her "weak" he doesn't mean her strength, he thinks that she's overly kind and kindness is often seen as weakness, therefore he's saying that a person like herself isn't able to be a traitor. But that's also something he loves about her. I wish Utahime would return his teasing to see his reaction bc I think Gojo would be taken aback haha! But ofc she's not like that, she's waiting until he matures and realizes that feeling something is better than not feeling at all.

I've read somewhere that their VAs share similar teasing dynamic and it's funny. 🤣