#like we all gotta keep the crazy contained

[petrovna-zamo]

[pha55ed]

Nonsense Christmas || F1/F2

type :: smut!

tw/cw :: smut!, hot women in minimal clothing!!!, sexual jokes,

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, max, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: you get offered to do a photoshoot for christmas which is awesome! but the drivers then find out it's a lingerie shoot and lose their minds

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

yourusername : so excited to announce my collab with savage x fenty! this design is so cute and perfect for girlys to surprise their bfs (or gfs) in! which is what im doing rn! hi carlos 👋😊

→ user 01: OH MY GAWWWD??? JAW ON THE FLOOR

⎯→ user 02: Carlos gotta be able to fight or else imma snatch her away

→ carlossainz55: you look lovely! (answer the phone now)

⎯→ yourusername: thank you!! (no, im scared

→ user 03: her face card is so lethal

→ user 04: she's this generations it girl omfg

The second you answered his calls, Carlos was hyperventilating. It was like you could practically hear how feral he was going after seeing your photoshoot. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of him going crazy. Your surprise went perfectly!

"I'm coming home now," He says sternly, "Unlock all the doors, I'm running in."

"Well that doesn't sound very safe." You say, trying to joke with him. Thank god he couldn't see you in person or else he would see how wide you were grinning at his words.

"Oh shut up, wait for me on the bed" He says as he hangs up.

You did your job and now all you had to do was wait- Oh my fucking god he's at the door already. You can't even say anything before he's all up on you, getting ready to berate you for looking too good for the world's eyes.

"I missed you" He mumbles as he kisses your neck eagerly. His hands roaming down to your ass, giving it a squeeze which makes you laugh. But he's not smiling at all. You knew what was gonna happen and you didn't care.

Charles Leclerc | 16

yourusername : the victoria secret winter showcase was such a blast! loved seeing all my girls again and esp all you guys! i wouldn't be here without you <3 happy holidays to all

→ user 01: MOTHER IS BACK!!!!

⎯→ user 02: Literally the best walk in the whole show

→ charles_leclerc: i will go to war for you

⎯→ user 03: she awoken his primal instincts

→ user 04: will we see you again??? u were SLAYINGGG

⎯→ yourusername: duh! see you next year <3

→ user 04: she's beautiful, humble, and with a rich boyfriend? when is it my turn

The second you got off stage, Charles was doing his absolute best to compose himself. Seeing you still in your lingerie set, cute little hat and gloves made him pants feel so tight. You kept wanting to say goodbye to all the girls, thanking the staff, being your usual self. This is the one time Charles was wishing you would keep your mouth shut and rush home.

Once you both were out, he rushed you into the car. But not the passenger seat, instead he pushed you into the back seats. He quickly followed you, unbuckling his belt and staring at your body.

"Charles!" You say, shocked at how desperate this man was. "We can't! People are gonna see-"

"And?" He says as he rips his belt off and begins to unbutton his shirt. "My windows are tinted, amor, no one will see."

He's hands are quick, instantly getting your clothes off too. Once he saw the same white lacy set you were wearing earlier, he can't help but grin like crazy. He was worshipping the ground you walked on. Practically licking your footsteps.

"I'm so so lucky," He groans, his hands caresses your body with such care. "So so lucky."

Lando Norris | 04

yourusername : skim's winter collection is out!!! And I'm part of it! So happy to show off these sets to the world ❤️

→ user 01: body is TEAAAA

⎯→ user 02: the body of my dream fr fr

→ landonorris: but when i wear ur bras I'm a slut???

⎯→ yourusername: u got no boobs to deserve a bra

⎯→ landonorris: so ur calling me skinnyyyyyyy?

→ user 03: slayed so hard that dinosaurs r extinct

⎯→ yourusername: don't blame me for that :(

→ user 04: can't believe lando is just... joking around... do u think this is a fucking game? you think this is funny? i will steal your girl and propose and start a family of 5.

⎯→ landonorris: trust me, we're gonna be a family of 5 once i'm home

And he wasn't joking about that comment because you two have been at it for almost an hour at this point. He was flipping you from position to position just to make sure he got every single angle of you in this lingerie set. Doggy, missionary, cowgirl, all sorts of positions that even Sabrina Carpenter hasn't tried.

He already cummed once too, but he was so horny that he was instantly recharged. Thankfully he was sane enough to help clean you up before pounding you once again. But that was the only break you had. You couldn't help but just feel bad for your neighbors for having to hear you two go wild.

But Lando isn't a monster! He knows that it can hurt after going for so long. So while your whining, begging him to slow down or give you a break for minute, he simply just reaches for the bedside drawer. He whips out a fat tube of lube and squirts some onto his dick before quickly getting back to work.

"L-Love you," He mumbles as he keeps thrusting in and out "Love you so much, ahh"

Oscar Piastri | 81

yourusername: let my inner princess out for Victoria Secret's Santa Baby collection! every piece is so precious, just like all the crew members and girls 💋

→ user 01: literally a goddess

⎯→ user 02: blessed by aphrodite herself

⎯→ user 03: she IS aphrodite

⎯→ yourusername: don't curse me girl 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

→ user 04: ur such a ball of sunshine UGHHHH

→ user 05: i pray this doesn't get on my bf's feed

→ user 06: can oscar fight?

⎯→ oscarpiastri: no but i can dox you

You know "Jealous" by Nick Jonas? That's exactly how he's feeling right now. Seeing everyone admire not just your body but how lovely your energy is was making him want to burn the entire building down. He was so supportive of your being a model, how could he gate keep your beauty from the world?

But now, oh god he hates this. He rushes you both home after the shoot and instantly lays you on the bed. His mind is racing yet he's not saying much to you.

"Oscar?" You ask him, looking up at him from the bed. Which instantly makes his dick throb, something you see through his pants. Even just saying his name might drive him to the edge.

"If I cover you in hickies, you can't work anymore, right?" He says, taking off your top and rushing to unbutton your jeans.

"Don't do that," You say trying to sound stern but you did love the idea. "You know I have another shoot soon!"

"You have foundation," He says as he begins to kiss down your neck and pressing harsh circles on your clit "You'll live." He says as he pushes your panties to the side. Your breathing hitches, knowing how good he was with his fingers.

"Unless," He pulls his hands away and looks down at you. "you really don't want to?"

But he knows you want it, he just wanted to hear you say it. To know you were as needy for him that he was for you.

Max Verstappen | 01

yourusername: i WOULD be freezing cold but thank god for the skims fleece bodysuits!! happy holidays to all! may ur pussys be warm and used ⛷️

→ user 01: (Y/N)?!?!?!1 THE CAPTION

⎯→ user 02: i need to know if kim's reaction to this 😭

→ user 03: literally like a barbie doll

→ user 04: looked at myself and sighed

⎯→ yourusername: stalked ur page and found ur facebook, GIRL u go to stanford, have a nice ass house, AND A LETHAL ASS FACECARDDDD hush ur mouth, ur lovely

⎯→ user 04: omg thank you??!?!?!?!! 😭😭

⎯→ user 05: she's the ultimate girls-girls

→ user 06: if max doesn't comment soon i'mma assume she's free for me

→ maxverstappen1: sorry i was drooling, im only commenting to scare user 06 away

⎯→ user 06: im gonna hex you.

You fully unlocked mad max at these photos. Although the shoot was simple and not even super suggestive: he was fuming and needed to get it out. He was joking in the comments, but he’s already jacked off once to the photos.

And once he gets home, it’s over for you. You’re pinned against the wall, his lips going all over your body. Not an inch of you is left unkissed.

���Unbelievable” he said as he sneaks a hand behind your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair. He tugs you downwards, you already know that that means.

Instantly you’re on your knees, looking up at him as if you had no idea why he was so angry. That just made him even more angry. Which may or may not have been your intention.

He unbuckled his pants quickly, throwing the belt to the side and letting his pants fall down to his knees. Your hands already know to do and pull his boxers down. And you’re instantly hit with the sight of his hard cock, a veiny and thick one.

You’ve seen it many times before, but you always can’t help but stare in awe of how something that size of a wrist is fitting inside you.

“Don’t just stare at it.” He tugs your face directly into his dick, smushing your face against it. “Get to work.”

Oliver Bearman | 87

yourusername: so so so happy to modeling the newest set for my bestie's brand! i'm wearing... nothing... 😉 the real sets come out in a week! stay tuned MWAH

→ user 01: my whole face is PINK omg

⎯→ user 02: my tip is RED

⎯→ user 03: oh...

⎯→ user 02: i'm a girl, dw

→ user 03: ... start an onlyfans... please.... please please please

→ user 04: oh my godddddd, i dropped the keys to my 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO, oh I'm so clumsy! (I'm 6'0 too) (and pretty funny)

⎯→ olliebearman: and i drive for ferrari, at 6'1, whilst cracking jokes

Ollie knows his worth, he knows he's a highly sought after man. But he's never felt more insecure than now, reading your comments filled with not just men but also girls?! He had to fight off both sides, which made him feel even more weary that his girlfriend is so desired.

So the only way for him to stop his insecurities was easy! Just fuck it out of his system, duh! So now, you're stuck bent over in doggy style in the shower. Why the shower? Because he knew he would make an absolute mess out of you.

He's pounding into you, making loud slaps against the walls. It echos throughout the entire bathroom. You're sure your neighbors can hear but there's not much you can do. You're stuck being a moaning mess while he's holding onto your hips for dear life.

As if that wasn't enough, he leaned forward to whisper into your ear. "Never, never again..." He says, breathing heavy from being so tired, yet his body was moving on his own. "No one can see you like this, ever."

Paul Aron | 17

yourusername: "angel?" set is out now! so proud to be part of the process for this🪽 i did, indeed, feel like an angel

→ user 01: mind you this is my first impression of you... and i'm following asap

⎯→ user 02: i was prepared to fight u for a second

→ user 03: LAWWDDD??? I COULD TAKE A BITE OUTTA UR ASS

⎯→ user 04: enough ass to feed a whole family of 5

→ user 05: paul... count your days

⎯→ paularon_: what did i do???

⎯→ user 06: u better worship the ground she walks on

⎯→ paularon_: of course i do, that's my whole purpose

→ user 07: perfect body, gorgeous face, hot ass boyfriend, GOD HAS FAVORITES

Oh he's livid. Not because you did the shoot, how could he blame you for simply looking good? He knew he picked a baddie and was ready to take all the repercussions alongside it. But he was livid because the fans were practically drooling over you. He's a possessive guy, it's basically his middle name.

He won't get off you at all, as if he needs you like air. His comment wasn’t a lie, he was worshipping you just like he should. Leaving hickies all over your neck, sucking on your breast, fingering you until you cummed at least twice. And he's not even done.

It's like he's trying his best to tease himself for as long as possible. You see how huge his dick is, how it's practically drowning in it's own precum. But he refuses to fuck you until he knows you're satisfied.

He's mainly doing this because he knows he's going to cum fast. Just from giving you pleasure makes him want to cum already. Being inside would only make him last one thrust, maybe two if he's lucky.

You're tired, fucked out from his fingers and sore from his hickies. But he simply kisses your cheek before bringing his head down to your cunt.

"N-No," you say, so overstimulated and wanting to see him get pleasure too. "Paul, just... Just f-fuck me already"

"Shhh" He says, not giving a single care for what you have to say. As he licks your cunt. You shiver from the touch, already knowing you're going to stuck in that bed for hours.

Pepe Marti | 21

yourusername: was i cold? 😣 yeah, but it was so worth it! loved working with the crew to take these breath-taking shots, i've never felt prettier 💌

→ user 01: oh. my. GOD??????? THE BODY

⎯→ user 02: seeing her without a 10lbs hoodie hiding her is so weird but SO GOOD

⎯→ user 03: literally thought this was an entirely different girl

→ user 03: i'm putting u in my heart locket

⎯→ user 04: literally going to print this out onto my wall

→ user 05: pepe is so so SO FUCKING lucky

→ pepemartiofficial: my beautiful girl 😘

Although you were much more shy and reserved than others, seeing you do this shoot made him feel so proud of you. Every photo was stared at by him for hours, just loving every detail that makes you you. He can’t help but feel so lucky to have such a beautiful girl but see your confidence grow.

So now he’s fucking you gently, dick pushing against your stomach from how long he is. His head is in your neck while his hands are holding yours. Each thrust is slow and patient, making you feel each centimeter of him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he groans into your neck. “So so, proud” he barely mumbles that. Feeling the strong urge to cum.

Although fucking with him was gentle this time, you still came. He always made sure you were placed first. So now he’s basically just overstimulating you, going at an agonizing slow pace to just fuck with you.

“T-Than’ you.” You say to him, wanting to grab his hair or back. But you can’t, since you’re pinned down by his own hands that are interlocked with yours.

“Gonna cum,” he groans again into your neck also pathetically “Inside?” He begs “That’s okay right??”

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[c0llisiion]

  — dilf!bangchan

★ breeding,pregnancy,unprotected sex ; W/C: 628

This is strictly fiction. Any scenario or situation should not be taken seriously. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable.

sex with dilf!chan would be so heavenly. His pudgy fingers rubbing slow circles on your clothed pussy, preparing you for taking his fat, girthy cock. His hand under your body, massaging your tender tits and tongue, worked diligently on your shoulders and neck as you lay on your stomach, squirming and whimpering at his touches.

 “Shhh… You gotta keep quiet, baby… don’t wanna wake up the brats, do we?” You tightly bit your lip and shook your head, trying to contain the whines. He smiled against your neck and placed a small hickey on the same spot as a reward for your obedience. He knew you would break at some point, but he didn’t really have to worry much since his kids were heavy sleepers (like him). Your slick coated your panties and it was sticking to his fingers. He hummed and chuckled at how wet you were. “So wet and warm… You want me to fuck you braindead, don’t you?” You squirmed and nodded, wanting his cock in you as soon as possible. “Beg for it doll… Tell me how much you need my cock…” You let out a muffled whine before speaking up. “Need your cock sb chan…. I want you to fill me up… i want to be full of your cum… full of your babies…” Chan shifted his position as you spoke, straddling your thighs. His hands run up and down your spine before gently lifting your hips. You arched your back immediately and waited for him to enter you. He chuckled darkly at the sight before pulling your panties to the side, giving him a full view of your glistening wet pussy. You were so ready for him. “Impatient are we today?” You whined in response. “It’s okay baby i got you…” he leaned forward and kissed your temple. “Just keep quiet for me… or else you’re gonna have big consequences…” he said sternly. You nodded and bit down on the soft pillow to muffle your moans. 

You shivered as you felt a glob of his spit on your hole. His large tip slapped against your wet core, spreading his spit on your lips. He rubbed his cock up and down on your slit, teasing you. You whined and reached from behind to maneuver his cock into your hole. Chan chuckled and slapped your hand away before shoving his cock in your sopping wet pussy, making you gasp and moan at the sudden action. Your eyes rolled back, and you bit down on the pillow harder as he wasted no time in moving. His cock slipped in and out of your pussy. Your walls clenched around his hard length. Chan groaned as he felt your warmth around him. He absolutely loved the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his thick dick. His pace was slow, but the thrusts were harsh. He leaned down and pulled your body close to his, whispering dirty nothings into your ear. “God you feel so good… so warm.. so tight…” “this pussy is just for me right? Tight little pussy belongs to me?” You nod incoherently at his words. “Look at you all dumb on my cock… want me to fill you up don't you? Don’t worry baby… i will fill you up real good… make you my pregnant mama…” he groaned and thrusted in harder. The idea of you being pregnant with his child was driving him crazy. “Gonna have you swollen and full of my kids… yeah? Would you like that?” You nodded and pulled him closer, moaning into the pillow like a bitch in heat. Chan grunted and moaned in your ears as he continued drilling your pussy. Sending you to cloud nine. You felt your orgasm approach, but then- “daddy…? Are you in there…?” 

A/N: thank yew for reading!!! I decided to write a chan fic after what i saw at the dominate tour in seoul (i was there.) and i needed to write something to quench that urge 😞😞😞 anyways i hope you liked it!!!

Also lmk if yall are fw the new look or should i go back to the old one? Please lmk!!

Masterlistttt!

[strawbeerossi]

Sweet Treat

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: Penelope gives you aphrodisiac chocolates as a gag gift. Whenever you and Spencer have a movie night, you both don’t realize what sweets you are delving into.

Content/Warnings: Awkward little banter between friends, mutual pining is mentioned, food/eating, aphrodisiacs, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2.4K

Kinktober Day Twenty Three: Aphrodisiacs

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

“Penelope, what the hell is this?” You asked, a laugh leaving your lips as you looked over the container of what looked to be normal chocolate. “Well! I found it online and apparently it’s some of that chocolate that you eat and you just wanna go crazy on the first person you see.” She giggled.

A girls night meant all sorts of things but whenever Penelope pulled out presents, you knew exactly where this was going. You and the girls had met up at her place about an hour ago. After ordering Chinese takeout and having way too much wine, the night had taken a bit of a turn when it came to discussions. Women talk. Sex was a main topic between you and your small friend group.

“So you are giving them to me?! P, I don’t even have a boyfriend.” You laughed. “Who needs a boyfriend whenever you can have fun with anyone in the world. Just keep them.”

And so you did. It was days after the fact whenever you were inviting Spencer over for a marathon of your favorite show. It was going to be fun, you and your best friend from the office watching your favorite show together. He’d offered to pick up food on the way, which he’d stuck with a good Thai place that you both had eaten at numerous times before whenever you got back from a particularly late case.

Spencer was your best friend on the team, the both of you being closer in age compared to the rest of the crew you worked with. Plus you had similar interests when it came to books, movies, among other things. You’d greeted him with a wide smile the minute the door opened. “Hey!” You grinned while moving to hug him. Despite his disdain for hugs or being touched, he’d slowly began to let you in more. He was happy to hug you or have you hold his hand whenever you needed to pull him somewhere else in a crowded room without losing him.

He enjoyed being by your side. Honestly, he was sure he was in love with you because of how caring you were. You listened to his rambles and even asked him further questions. You even laughed at the jokes that were complicated to understand. You were truly a light shining bright on the team. “I hope you have snacks because I didn’t even stop.” Spencer groaned after returning the hug with one arm as his foot kicked the front door shut. “I do. I have a lot in the kitchen.” You assured.

You'd started the new season of your show together and gotten through dinner within a few episodes before Spencer disappeared into the kitchen as you paused the program on tv. “Don’t take too long! I gotta see how this plays out!” You called while leaning back against the couch, pulling the blanket over your body while letting out a soft hum. Spencer had ended up grabbing some chocolate. Which he didn’t read over the label as he grabbed a tab from the container and looked it over. “That’s cute. It’s got little shapes.” He chuckled to himself, breaking one in half as he was moving to take a bite from the rich milk chocolate. It was to die for, so he had to take the other half to you so you could try before you both tore into the bag together.

“Try this. It’s so rich. I actually love it.” He’d commented. You weren’t paying attention to what the chocolate looked like, bringing it up to your nose and smelling it before you were pulling the piece in your mouth. Which it was delicious, your eyebrows raising. “Wow, that really is good.” You laughed, watching as Spencer was sitting down and passing over snacks to you. “We can eat the chocolate later. You know sweet stuff can either send me flying on the walls or I end up feeling bad to do anything.” Fair enough.

It was an hour later when you were on another episode, your body was feeling hot as you shifted uncomfortably on the couch. You wouldn’t like to think that you were attracted to the program, it was a horror series and you were in the middle of a chase scene. So why else were you squirming?

Just as you were going to excuse yourself to take care of the heat in your belly, you noticed Spencer shifting uncomfortably, a pillow resting over his lap. Then you thought about the chocolate, your eyes widening as you were shooting up from the couch and rushing to the kitchen. Spencer watched you, turning slightly on the couch to watch you curiously through the doorway. That’s when you see the box, a soft groan leaving your lips as you lifted up the sex candy while bringing a hand up to rest against your face. ‘

Just great. You knew you should’ve just put it in your room.

“Spencer.” The sound of your voice had him nearly jumping out of his skin as he quickly faced the tv again. “Yeah?” He asked as his hand clutched the pillow harder. Maybe you’d caught him. Even someone who wasn’t a profiler could tell there was something going on, not to mention the growing tension between the both of you.

Mutual pining was normal and you both weren’t exempt from that. Spencer was an awkward rambler but you found it endearing. Just as he found you as equally as endearing even if you were quiet a good majority of the time and relished in his ramblings about whatever was brought up. You both enjoyed each other's presence, the two of you spending time together more often than not.

Those unsaid mutual feelings made this whole situation worse.

You approached the couch again as you slowly sat down beside Spencer again, body leaning back against the couch as you could feel yourself hot, face flushed as you couldn’t sit still to save your life. Spencer had now taken notice, clearing his throat. “I-I uh.. I may need to leave soon. M-mom’s facility called.” A lie but it would be a smooth getaway.

“Oh, yeah. Uh, it might be for the best! I forgot that I have to..” Your eyes glanced around the room. “Reorganize my bookshelf!” Less subtle. “R-right. Uh, This seems weird but can you close your eyes for a minute? I just..” His eyes were glued on the pillow, making you bring your eyes down as well. “O-oh.”

“It’s not because of the show!” He squeaked, face bright red as he was looking back at the screen. “I don’t- I don’t know why but I was looking at you and it just.. I don’t know!” He whined. His awkwardness made it hard for him to admit why there was a pillow on his lap outright, however you had clocked the reasons why.

“You know the chocolate..? Uh, Penelope gave me them the other day as a joke and they are.. They are essentially just sex chocolate.” Your face was hot, chest rising and falling as you were feeling the gush of slick in your panties from the heightened arousal. “Wait. Aphrodisiacs?!” Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes, mouth agape in shock. Well, at least he didn’t feel as bad from getting hard after giving you a few glances. There was a reason behind it.

The both of you stared at one another, faces hot and eyes blown out with lust. “So uh.. How long does this last?” Spencer finally asked, his brain being too clouded over with lust as he stared in your direction. “I-I wouldn’t know.. I never used them.” Your nose crinkled as the both of you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from one another. “I, uh, I lied about my reason to leave.” He stated the obvious while you couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape your lips. “I know..” You admitted, slowly pushing yourself to stand. “I um.. I don’t actually have to reorganize my bookshelf either..” You laughed awkwardly while heading over to stand in front of your best friend, hand moving to gently rest over the pillow. “I don’t want you to go.. Not yet. Can you, um, help me out a little bit? I trust you and you are here.” You rambled on as you put your hands together slowly. Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes as he nodded slowly.

“I’ll help.” You were both a bit awkward at first, the male letting you move the pillow before you were straddling his waist, the show in the background continuing to run as your best friend was blushing nervously. “I gotta admit that I’ve only done this one time before..” He spoke while you offered a smile. “It’s alright.” You whispered as you let your head dip down to connect your lips with his. Your bodies were buzzing with electricity as you were deepening the kiss, your hands tangling in his hair while his hands were gripping your hips.

You never thought you’d be in this position, tongue in your closest friend’s mouth while your hips were grinding down against his. You felt a fire inside of you, your body desperate to be bare and touched. As you pulled out of the kiss much to Spencer’s dismay, you were tugging your shirt over your head before tossing it somewhere else in the room. The sight of your breasts in a white bra had Spencer’s Adams apple bobbing as his eyes were trained on the lace that accentuated your skin. “It’s pretty right? One of my favorites.” You comment while watching his eyes stare at your tits with a new sense of hunger in his eyes.

You took it as a great sign as your hand was reaching behind you, unclasping the top before letting it fall somewhere with your shirt. His hands were quickly coming up to cup your breasts before he was just diving right in, wet kisses being pressed against your skin before his lips were wrapping around your nipple, tongue flicking over the nub as your fingers tangled in his hair. “Fuck.” You cursed while his attention was focused on your chest.

Your body was perfect.

As he had gotten enough though, he was pulling back to examine your chest that was covered in a few hickies and your hardened nipples. “You look so pretty.” It wasn’t akin to being called a whore or a slut but you honestly liked it. The way he complimented your body had your cheeks heating up as you were lifting your hips when he had gained enough confidence to work on your pants. He’d tugged down your pants and panties before working on his own pants.

“Eager?” You commented, a little giggle leaving your lips as Spencer looked at you as if you’d grown another head. “Have you seen yourself?! Of course I’m eager!” He defended himself, causing the both of you to share a laugh. “I hate to rush this but-” He was cut off by a groan as your hand reached between you both to give his leaking cock a few tugs. “I know, me too. You can make up for the lack of foreplay later.” You wiggled your eyebrows as you pressed your lips against his once more, your leaking hole sinking down onto his cock.

The both of you had let out moans muffled in one another’s mouths as your hips rocked slowly, getting adjusted to the man’s thick cock. It was always the awkward nerds who had the best surprises.

Your head was falling on his shoulder as he held your hips with a bruising grip. He wasn’t one to have sex often, not being lucky like Derek in the department of women effortlessly throwing themselves at him. He knew that this scenario was one he never imagined happening, your velvety walls clenching tightly around this bare cock while you essentially used him as a human dildo to get yourself off.

He wasn’t complaining in the slightest, watching your face contort in ecstasy as his hips were thrusting upwards to slam into your leaking cunt, a groan falling from his lips as his head tilted back against the sofa. You were whining and moaning with each thrust that he matched with your movements, eventually pushing the one place you needed most. The impact had your hands clutching tightly to his shoulders as you let your mouth fall open with a soft cry.

“Oh my god, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were slurred, the effects of the aphrodisiacs heightening all of your arousal so you felt like you were going to burst at the seams. Your body was hot, hips surely bruised by Spencer’s rough grip as he slammed into you as well as your legs shaking from their position.

When you did hit your peak, you were tightly grabbing Spencer’s shoulders as your hips slammed down into his lap, ass hitting his thighs at an unsteady rhythm. Spencer however, was quickly flipping you both over, your body sprawled out against your living room couch as he was rolling on top of you.

Taking the opportunity, he wasn’t skipping a beat as his hips slammed into yours, your sensitive cunt contracting around his cock as he was bringing himself to climax. As your moans and whines from overstimulation echoed in the apartment, his own whines of desperation were falling from his lips.

His cock twitched inside of your used pussy, quickly making the effort to pull out of you as he jerked at his leaking cock, a low huff leaving his lips as ropes of cum were now pooling in your stomach, glazing your bare skin as he let out a weak whine. As you lay there covered in his spent, your chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as you made the effort to catch your breath.

“I think that chocolate needs to be thrown away to avoid incidents like this again,” his voice pulled you out of your post sex haze as you laughed a little. “Are you kidding? I think we need to do this every time we watch our show together.” You teased, making Spencer shake his head with a smile.

“At least hide it for when you have anyone else over. I don’t think I’ll survive if this mix up happens with someone else.”

[mwahsturns]

bed chem ★ | C.S

Innocent!reader x Chris Sturniolo

Contains: Smut, fluff, after care, use of pet names (ma, baby, good girl), slight dirty talk, praise, dom!chris, strangers to lovers, car sex, backshots,hair pulling and spanking (only once). I think that’s it let me know if I missed anything!

Synopsis: you were on your way to a local thrift shop in downtown L.A when you accidentally bump into someone dropping their Pepsi all over your white air forces. You guys talked for a while as he repeatedly apologized, his blue eyes and his clear Boston accent keeping you in. What happens when he ends up in your backseat?.

Authors note: I told you I had something for the Chris girlies😉 this took so long so I hope you enjoy stay wet whores love ya <3

The cars filled with moans and the sounds of kissing, gosh i don’t know how i ended up here with this guy but god he’s so hot. His hand grabs my throat as he kisses me deeply I moan softly kissing him back my hands in his fluffy brown hair. Gosh it was soft, i don’t remember how we ended up in my backseat but boy do I not regret it.

‘Mmh your lips so soft ma’ he mumbled against my lips kissing me passionately, just that alone had me aroused it’s actually embarrassing. ‘Yours too..’ I mumbled back, I felt him smirk into the kiss his free hand moving onto my thigh. I pulled back slightly. ‘Uh I’ve never gone this far before..’ I can’t believe I had to admit that to this hot guy who clearly wants me back. ‘You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with’ he reassured rubbing my thigh. ‘No no I want this i promise.’

I smile ‘I trust you..’ which is absolutely crazy since I just met him but something about him felt safe and comfortable. ‘If you need me to stop or anything tell me I’ll be as gentle as you need’ I nod as we continue to kiss. After a few minutes I tugged at his shirt just wanting to feel his skin. ‘Needy huh baby?’ He jokes his Boston accent very clear. ‘You could say that..’ I smile watching him throw his shirt into my front seat. ‘Woah he got such a good body..’ I think to myself. ‘You can touch baby. He laughs grabbing my hand making me softly trace his toned body.

‘Woah…’ I say in shock, he laughs his hand moving onto the hem of my shirt. ‘May I?’ He asks, I nod as he carefully takes it off my body. ‘You’re so beautiful..’ he smiles placing kisses on my neck. ‘Chris..’ I whimpered. He smiled pulling back. ‘You ready?’ He asks, I nod watching him undo his pants. Now the backseat of a car isn’t the most comfortable place to have sex but I’m kinda desperate. ‘Okay I’m gonna warm you up okay ma?’ I nod as he gets on his knees in front of me. He undresses my bottom half staring softly. ‘Such a pretty pussy mama’ he smiles placing kisses all around it as my hands run through his hair.

‘I’m gonna start with one finger then add two okay? I gotta make sure you’re prepared for my dick’ I nod i swear I’m so wet I could fill a water bottle right now. He puts one of fingers inside of me making me feel kinda uncomfortable. ‘Chris it feels really weird..’ he chuckles. ‘You never fingered yourself because?’ I shake my head no and he looks shocked. ‘Oh woah you really are innocent..’ ‘is that bad?’ I asked worried. ‘No no.. it means I can have more fun with you’ he smiled before slowly moving his fingers towards my soaked pussy and start to rub me in a circular motion, I gasp.

He eventually adds his middle finger right into me causing me to moan at now having both fingers in me. he starts to pump his fingers faster and faster eventually sucking on my clit. ‘Chris fuck’ I moan gripping his hair. He groans softly as i run my fingers through his hair, his fingers moving faster ‘Fuck, I love your pussy baby’ He keeps to pump his fingers in and out of me, as he keeps licking my clit. I moan uncontrollably having this weird feeling in my stomach. ‘Mmmhmm, you like that? You're getting closer already, aren't you? You always break so easily...’ He curls his fingers inside me, hitting that sweet spot that drives me wild.

‘oh yes..mmh don’t stop Chris..’ I moan my body slightly shaking. He smirks and continues his assault on my pussy, his fingers moving at a steady pace as he watches my face contort with pleasure ‘You're gonna come all over my fingers like a good girl, aren't you?’ I nod quickly. ‘I’m so-so close baby’ ‘That's it, ma ... Come all over my fucking fingers’ He presses harder on my clit with his thumb as he curls his fingers inside me, sending me over the edge into a screaming orgasm.

i moan his name uncontrollably my body shaking slightly. He rubs my inner thigh softly placing kisses around my vagina. ‘you ready?’ For a moment I completely forgot he hadn’t even took my virginity yet. I nod as he sits down placing me on his lap hovering over his tip. He was thick and really long fuck he’s huge he slowly slides me down onto his dick, I hiss at the new feeling I’ve never felt so full.

‘oh Chris…’ I moan softly the pain is so strong I’m unable to move. ‘You got this baby you’re taking me so well..’ he smiles kissing my cheek softly.

The car shook as i bounced on his dick taking every inch of him. ‘Fucking squeezing my shit ma’ he grounds his hands going onto my ass helping me ride him. My tits bouncing in his face his hips matching my rhythm. He takes my nipple into his mouth as I ride him making me throw my head back in pleasure. My hand grips the back of his head as he sucks onto my breast my bounces becoming inconsistent.

He pulls back taking me off him angling me to where I’m bent over my center console. ‘I’m gonna ruin you’ he smiles kissing my back then leaving a painful smack to my ass as he pushes into me. ‘Holy- fuck’ I moan gripping the passenger and drivers seat. Chris continues his thrusts only getting deeper and deeper into my pussy.

After a while he gips my hair pulling it back as he thrusts into me. ‘So- pretty baby’ he pants in my ear making me whimper softly. ‘I feel you- squeeze my shit- fuck- uh you gonna cum f’me ma?’ I couldn’t even speak I was so drunk off his cock. I nod quickly as he lets go of my hair I grip onto the seat so I don’t fall as he grabs my hips thrusting faster. ‘Where do you want it?’ I moan softly ‘my back…’ I smirk still out of breath, I let go cumming all over his dick. He groans pulling out leaving his seed all over my back. ‘Fuck that’s so hot..’ he said taking it off my back and onto his fingers making me lick it off.

‘Come here..’ he grabs my hips making me lean back against him in the back seat. He runs his fingers through my hair kissing my head softly. ‘Is it too soon to say that I really like you?’ He says nervously. I chuckled shaking my head. “No because I like you too’ he kissed me softly. ‘Let’s get you cleaned up okay?’ I nod smiling glad I met the cute boy with white jacket.

An:I hope it was good!! I’m still getting used to all this stuff so I hope it was enjoyable for you Chris sluts I love u guys sm have an amazing day and stay slutty my loves bye! <3

(Comment if you wanna be added to my tag list!)

Divider by @bernardsbendystraws

[rascal-xo]

How They React to Gossip | 141 + Rudy + Alejandro |

Warnings: None

Tags: @whirly-birbs @fiveshelmet @madamemelancholysstuff

A/N: For those who requested something and didn’t get a response, i’ll be getting those works posted soon :)

————————————————————————————

~ Ghost ~

- Definitely knows about it before anyone else but won’t ever bring it up. (Bro always sees and hears everything about everyone)

- Will act like he doesn’t care, but still is listening to every word

- Will suddenly go “Fucking hell.” and then realize he actually said it out loud when everyone pauses and turns to look at him.

- Will 100% be smirking under his mask when somethings funny but won’t laugh out loud. (Resting Ghost Face and all, gotta keep up the rep)

- Will give the most dangerous fucking side eye when someone says something horrendously out of pocket

- Will definitely zone out if he gets bored

~ Price ~

- Is just passing by the break room when he overhears something out of the ordinary and has to do a double take to walk back towards the group and make sure he heard it correctly

- Will either be the moral compass of the gossip session or will go full out with his own insults

- Stands there with his arms crossed and eyes squinted slightly listening to the words coming from his team.

- Will say something like “We’re soldiers, not desperate housewives.” But will later laugh to himself thinking about the wild accusations and drama.

- Definitely gossips with Laswell on the downlow

~ Gaz ~

- Enjoys every second of pure steaming gossip, especially if it’s coming from his Soap

- Will subtly pry for more information but when Soap teases him about it he’ll be like “Alright you can piss off, I don’t even wanna know now.”

- Won’t even hide the fact he wants to laugh, will be close to doubling over in hysterics if it gets to be that crazy

- *High pitched british shock*

~ SOAP ~

- Bro cant contain himself when it comes to juicy drama in the workplace

- He’s here for the tea, ALL the tea

- Is 10000% the one who started spreading the gossip in the first place.

- Will talk everyone’s ear off about who he saw with who the other day and what not

- Don’t get him started cause he won’t stop

- ends every gossip session lowkey leaving everyone stunned and wanting to hear more

~ Alejandro ~

- takes in any and all gossip in stride and fires off MANY witty remarks about it

- He enjoys poking fun at others jokingly. it’s apart of his charm (duh)

- Will be be doubling over in hysterical laughter, probably bringing Rudy or Soap down with him

- If the gossip is about Valeria, bro will NOT hold back. Shots upon shots will be fired do not get him started

~ Rudy ~

- Doesn’t add to the gossip, but enjoys every second of hearing his teammates losing their minds over juicy drama they’ve heard

- Will be laughing along with Alejandro but will say “Dios mío, It’s not funny, we shouldn’t be laughing!”

- Stands back with his eyes open wide in shock and red in the face from what he’s hearing

- The out of pocket things that come from Alejandro’s mouth about Valeria definitely keep this poor man up at night

** BONUS ** GRAVES

- is the gossip.

[evilminji]

This? Is driving me ~crazy~?

You know Anti-Force drugs and devices? Such as cuffs or collars?

Presumably, both rare and expensive, since Noteable Force Sensitivity is Rare AF? Not sure if it's more of a Fandom or Canon thing? But still, THOSE things? Yeah, you know THEM?

...... w-wouldn't... wouldn't they fucking KILL people?

Like? I'm not even joking here. We gotta remember, IN UNIVERSE, that the Force? Is FUCKING EVERYWHERE. All the Where. The LIVING Force is what CONNECTS and guides all LIVING things. "Guides" being the significant word there.

I'm not saying it would be IMMEDIATE death? Because Force Blanks exsist. Impossibly rare as they may be. But no one ever said they were HEALTHY. You CAN survive, for a pretty long while, after getting your internal micro biomes DEEPLY fucked up. Can even possibly repair them, depending on the damage.

And, what? Is the Midi-chlorian? If not a symbiotic microorganism? Living off you while giving you benefits in return? Health, durability, and The Force, in return for a place to thrive. Tied, inexorably, to your immune system and other vital bodily functions? To your SENSES. Your BRAIN FUNCTION.

Anti-Force drugs and Devices? Are awful... to those already a count of MULTIPLE THOUSANDS per drop of blood. What about much lower? If the device damages or suppresses all but the strongest Midi-chlorians? Does the average person HAVE enough to survive that?

Is it like radiation exposure? Deadly not in the immediate, but in the days to follow? In the sickness. The nausea. The weakness of limbs and the tiredness that drags. A seeping sense of unreality. Disconnected from others, who no longer feel "real". Do YOU no longer "real". As the interwoven connection you had, inside you, to the Force, is dying?

The Force is still there. You are still a part of it.

But you can't feel it anymore.

And it wasn't even something you knew you WERE feeling, until it was gone. Until people and the paintings of people, hold the same realness. Until you no longer feel connected to your own body. Sick, disassociating, and scared. Blood poisoned by the dying matter now floating in your veins.

There's a REASON, I would imagine, such devices are not standard issue. Mass produced. Expensive, dangerous, and deadly to those who DON'T have a high enough midi-chlorian count.

Even those who DO have a high enough count? Get sick wearing them! Need time to recover!

They are? Fundamentally?

ANTI-LIFE.

People throw them around in fanfic's a lot. As though just shutting off a major part of someone biology wouldn't have NASTY blowback. As though a Jedi probably doesn't fucking DESTROY those monstrosities, those ABOMINATIONS to the Force, every time they come across a set or vial of the stuff. Second only to the Sith, that sort of evil. Probably MADE by Sith. Evil. Nasty. Disgusting and no good.

Burn it.

You absolutely NEED to keep someone contained? Sleep. Nice lil Jedi enforced nap. Or drug enforced. Maybe both. They ALSO have FORCE rituals. Combine THEIR power against YOUR power. There are many ways. HUMANE and ETHICAL ways. They AREN'T SITH.

Just? Those things? Should be treated like the horrors they ARE, you know? They're not convenient plot devices! They are critical biology suppressing radiation collars and chemo drugs! Being PUMPED INTO PEOPLE by RANDOS!!

Shoved ON people! By FUCKING SLAVERS!

That SHOULD be HORRIFYING! They're ANTI-FORCE! <-!!! Which?

Is LIFE.

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @spidori @mayfay @hdgnj @hypewinter @lolottes @leftnotright

[munchmemes]

taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part two

guilty as sin?

▸ my boredom's bone-deep. ▸ am i allowed to cry? ▸ i'm seeing visions, am i bad? or mad? or wise? ▸ one slip and i'm falling back into the hedge maze. ▸ oh, what a way to die. ▸ i keep recalling things we never did. ▸ how i long for our trysts. ▸ how can i be guilty as sin? ▸ i keep these longings locked inside a vault. ▸ someone told me there's no such things as bad thoughts, only your actions talk. ▸ they're gonna crucify me anway. ▸ what if they way you hold me is actually what's holy? ▸ i choose you and me religiously.

who's afraid of little old me?

▸ the "who's who?`" of "who's that?" is poised for the attack. ▸ you don't get to tell me about 'sad'. ▸ if you wanted me dead, you should've just said. nothing makes me feel more alive. ▸ who's afraid of little old me? you should be. ▸ the scandal was contained, the bullet had just grazed. ▸ at all costs, keep your good name. ▸ you don't get to tell me you feel bad. ▸ is it a wonder i broke? ▸ let's hear one more joke. then we could all just laugh until i cry. ▸ i was tame, i was gentle till the circus life made me mean. ▸ they say they didn't do it to hurt me but what if they did? ▸ i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. ▸ you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me. ▸ isn't that what they all said? that i'm fearsome and i'm wretched and i'm wrong. ▸ you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. ▸ you caged me and then you called me crazy. ▸ i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

▸ the jokes that [you/they] told across the bar were revolting and far too loud. ▸ they shake their heads, saying "god help [them]" when i tell 'em you're the one. ▸ i can fix him, no really i can. and only i can. ▸ i could see it from a mile away. ▸ you had a halo of the highest grade, you just hadn't met met yet. ▸ come close, i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night. ▸ trust me, i can handle me a dangerous [man/woman].

loml

▸ we were just kids, babe. ▸ i don't mind, it takes time. ▸ i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed. ▸ i felt aglow like this. never before and never since. ▸ you and i went from one kiss to getting married. ▸ you said i'm the love of your life about a million times. ▸ a conman sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme. ▸ i felt a hole like this never before and ever since. ▸ what we thought was for all time was momentary. ▸ i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all. ▸ the coward claimed he was a lion. ▸ i'll still see it until i die. you're the loss of my life.

i can do it with a broken heart

▸ i can show you lies. ▸ i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit. ▸ they said 'you gotta fake it 'til you make it' and i did. ▸ you said you'd love me all your life but that life was too short. ▸ i can do it with a broken heart. ▸ i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day. ▸ i cry a lot but i am so productive, it's an art. ▸ you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart. ▸ i can hold my breath, i've been doing it since [you/they] left. ▸ i'm miserable and nobody even knows!

the smallest man who ever lived

▸ was any of it true? ▸ now you know what it feels like. ▸ i don't miss what we had. ▸ in public, you showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion. ▸ you didn't measure up in any measure of a man. ▸ were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? ▸ good riddance 'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. ▸ i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside. ▸ in plain sight you hid but you are what you did. ▸ i'll forget you but i'll never forgive.

the alchemy

▸ this happens once every few lifetimes. ▸ these chemicals hit me like white wine. ▸ what if i told you i'm back? ▸ the hospital was a drag. worst sleep i ever had. ▸ ditch the clowns, get the crown. ▸ what if i told you we're cool? ▸ honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy? ▸ where's the trophy?

clara bow

▸ all your life, did you know you'd be picked like a rose? ▸ i'm not trying to exaggerate but i think i might die. ▸ this town is fake but you're the real thing. ▸ take the glory, give everything. ▸ promise to be dazzling. ▸ you're the new god we're worshipping. ▸ beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours, demanding more. ▸ it's hell on earth to be heavenly. ▸ them's the breaks, they don't come gently.

[sonarspace]

Hi!! Hope you're okay 💞

Can we have some fiance!Nanami fluff ? Also do you prefer detailled requests or simple ones ?

WAVES OF LOVE

a/n: i don't mind either!! so go crazy or stay tame and i’ll try my best to write what you want. not sure if this is what you were expecting but i hope you like it 💗 wc: 600

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

one night when you're both laying in bed facing each other you ask your boyfriend his thoughts on marriage. "kento," you whisper. he hums in return. "what do you think about the idea of marriage?" he brushes away the hair on your cheek and puts it behind your ear. "i think as long as we both know where we stand in each other's life, it doesn't matter. it's just a label after all."

your eyebrows furrow slightly and your lips turn into a pout, but you mask it quickly. "what about you?" he asked. you didn't wanna push him away with the thoughts of the wedding that clouded your mind, so you convinced yourself it was okay, you didn't need a wedding as long as he was by your side. he saw that little pout and it tugged at his heart. he decided then if that's what you wanted then that what's you'll get.

after months of searching for the perfect ring and unable to find one he decides on getting a custom built for you. he spends his nights overlooking the process of ring he requested for you. if he was doing this, he was going all out.

on your anniversary, he wakes you up with kisses all over your face. "happy anniversary," he cheers in your ear and you beam in response. that night after you both have dinner he takes you on a drive. the roof of the car down the wind blowing through your hair. he stops the car on the side and pulls out a blindfold "please?" he asks you. "okay," you laugh in surprise.

he helps you out of the car once you reach your location "going to take off your heels," he murmurs as he bends down to remove them . he grabs your hand and guides you. you feel the soft sand beneath you feet and hear the faint sound of waves. "beach?" you question. "yeah,” he replies a little nervously. you squeeze his hand in hopes to calm him down.

he drops your hand moving behind you take off your blindfold, "keep your eyes closed." you can hear the waves clearly now. like they're behind you. "open them," he commands. your eyes blink open slowly. there are white petals laid in front of you creating a path to a faux gazebo illuminated by string lights. mattress and pillows laid out.

you're beaming as you finally turn around to look at him. he's on his knees. a ring box in his hand. the words "marry me?" written in the sand next to him. your jaw drops "what's-" you're about to say, but he cuts you off. "it was supposed to say will you marry me but the waves erased it, so now you gotta say yes," he jokes.

your eyes fill with tears as you move closer to where he is "oh kento," you cry. "i know i said it's just labels when you asked me before. but it's a label i wanna share with you. i want you to be my wife and i wanna be your husband, if you'll have me darling."

“i’m getting married,” you screamed to the sea, the waves, the fishes, the starry sky with a full moon, and the world as he spun you around in his arms. you grab his face and kiss him hard enough to have his knees buckle. on his lap, you continue kissing him as the waves come closer.

he carries you over to the mattress and lays your head on the pillow “my beautiful fiancé, my almost wife” he murmurs sweetly. you giggle pulling him in for another kiss. “my pretty fiancé, my almost husband” you whisper against his lips. you continue kissing but it's a lost cause because both of you are unable to contain your happiness.  

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

© SONARSPACE 2023 | DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS!

[amuseintime]

Shattering Realization (Pt 4/4)

Star Souls AU

Not the end of the AU, buuuut of this section of it :3c

Sif’s awake! This means everything is back to normal… right? Right? Of course, Odile doesn’t intend to just let it go that easily. Some things are answered, others are not.

Odile POV

<< PREV || FIRST

——————

Odile slept surprisingly well considering Boniface almost gave them a collective heart attack the evening before. The troublesome preteen apparently decided to sneak into Isabeau’s tent and snuggle up with Siffrin in such a way they could barely see them. If not for the fact that Mirabelle caught Siffrin moving slightly, they likely would’ve been out all night. While she would’ve appreciated their rogue at least attempting to signal them, it didn’t seem like he could very easily talk, and the sight of him stroking Boniface’s hair was admittedly enough to warm even her overly practical, often abrasive excuse for a heart.

Of course, even the best sleep and mostly finely crafted sleeping bag in the world would not prevent her back from hurting after another night of camping. A truly disconcerting number of clicks and pops filled the tent as she sat up, trying to ignore the twinge of pain. Nothing to be done for it except a stretch or two—battle-specialized healing craft only did so much for muscle aches and old bones.

Odile put on her day clothes and shuffled out of her tent with a container of tea leaves, the siren song of caffeine calling to her. Thankfully, it seemed all was more or less as normal in the little group. Mirabelle and Boniface were already up with a fire going, the preteen cooking some eggs. However, there was one thing both odd and relieving: Siffrin was also awake, helping feed twigs into the blaze.

“Good morning, young ones. Good to see you feeling better, Siffrin,” she said.

“Mm hmm. Same as ever!” Siffrin chirped. “Just needed a longer nap than usual, sorry about that.”

That was an understatement. “Siffrin. Being asleep for over a full day does not count as a long nap so much as a short coma.”

Mirabelle jolted in place. “Madame! Should- should we bring that up? I mean-“

“It’s fine?” Siffrin said. “I knew it was coming. So… what do you want to know?”

“Nothing that can’t wait until after we’ve all eaten and I’ve gotten caffeine in me.”

Boniface side-eyed Siffrin, scraping at the eggs with unnecessary aggression. “… ‘Cept Frin. You can’t actually eat, can you?”

Siffrin hid his face in the collar of his cloak, head tilted so his hat hid his eyes as well. “Not in the traditional sense, no…”

“…. So what? Have you just been throwing your portions out?”

“Of course not!” Siffrin said, shaking his head emphatically. “That’d be a waste! I’ve just been sneaking them onto other people’s plates.”

Mirabelle gasped. “So I’m NOT crazy! All those times I thought that the food wasn’t ending, that more just kept appearing, that was you?!”

“Um. Yes. Sorry?” Siffrin said.

Boniface sighed, “You don’t gotta humor me anymore. I guess I keep the same portions though, since everyone was eating your share anyways?”

“Oh. Yes, that’s fine,” Siffrin said.

Odile put on her tea, and Mirabelle went to wake up Isabeau as breakfast was done. Bonnie divided up scrambled eggs for everyone who could eat, but…

“Oh? Siffrin? Are you not hungry?” Isabeau said, earning a charged look from everyone. “Did I say something weird?”

“I don’t have a digestive system, don’t worry about it,” Siffrin said.

“Oh! Oh… right. I guess you wouldn’t,” Isabeau said.

Odile read a book for most of the rest of breakfast, but it didn’t sound old she was missing much of interest. It was abnormally quiet. Siffrin apparently decided to start cleaning up before everyone was even done, the mess mostly gone by the time Odile finished her plate. She sipped the last of her tea—strong and black, just as she liked it—and decided it was about time to address the elephant in the room.

“So, Siffrin, you aren’t human,” Odile said.

Mirabelle immediately started stammering, Boniface mumbling something with their arms crossed while Isabeau looked nervously at Siffrin. Siffrin, however, simply nodded. If she didn’t know that his face was crafted with naturally a neutral expression, she’d assume his current smile was literally painted on.

Of course, he didn’t say anything, and neither did anyone else, so seemed she’d have to take the lead here.

“So what are you then?”

Clearly he was some form of supernatural being, but that narrowed it down surprisingly little. Given how human he usually acted, it seemed most likely he was a ghost, but assumptions were dangerous. Besides, ghosts tended to haunt important areas of objects and usually had an agenda, a reason to linger, and to be blunt, Siffrin seemed fairly aimless. So presumably, he was a spirit of some sort, but that did virtually nothing to narrow it down. “A spirit” could encompass anything from the simplest Sadness to, arguably, gods. Of course, there was always a chance he was built into the doll that housed him, making him something artificial, and really it was going to be faster to ask.

“I don’t know,” Siffrin said.

Oh she could feel the migraine coming on. “… what.”

“I don’t remember really…?” Siffrin said. “I know I’ve been wandering around a while, but I don’t really remember why. I guess just because I don’t have anything better to do?”

Old suspicion flared up as she narrowed her eyes. Generally speaking, spirits didn’t just “forget” what they were, at least not any developed and/or human-like enough to have coherent thought.

“So… you aren’t a ghost?” Mirabelle said.

“Maybe…? But if I am, I’m kind of bad at this,” Siffrin said. His eyes slid between all of them as he pulled one leg into his chest. “Sorry, I’m sure this isn’t making me sound any less suspicious or weird, is it?”

“Not really, no,” Odile said. “But I suppose if you’re telling the truth, it’s not entirely unheard of…” She’d heard a few tales of amnesiac gods, of things great but either stupid or unfathomable, of spirits and beings who hid things for reasons. It was hard to tell what you were dealing with until it was too late. Pressing him too much was probably a bad idea. Better safe than sorry.

“You seem to know a lot about this, M’dame,” Isabeau said. “Is your field of research spiritology?”

“The word you’re looking for is Phasmology, and no, it’s not my field of research. Much of what I’m saying is more or less common knowledge in Ka Bue, though I’d argue that we’ve historically placed too much stock in the works of spirits and ghosts. Though I suppose it’s only natural. Much easier to blame something you don’t understand on an unknown spirit than try to find the science behind it. That said, I don’t think you know what a heated debate is until you bring up the Bright Death in a room full of Ka Buan historians. I got a rib cracked for that.”

“… huh.” Was all that Siffrin had to say. Taciturn as always, it seemed.

Mirabelle cleared her throat, speaking with the slow deliberation of someone holding something back. “So… Even if you don’t remember what you are, you’re aren’t flesh and blood either, are you?”

“Nope,” Siffrin said. “I’ll admit, I don’t know the name for this material, but…” He was grinning. Was grinning that grin. The grin that came before a particularly bad pun. He was even rubbing his hands together. “If you want a closer look, I can give you a hand with that!” And then he tossed his hand to Mira.

As in the whole thing.

It just. Popped off.

“SIF?!”

“OH CHANGE OH CHANGE OH CHANGE-“ Mirabelle shouted, hands fumbling with the detached limb until instinctively flinging it away.

Odile felt vaguely nauseous, and Boniface’s eyebrows were furrowed together. They came to hide behind Odile.

And Siffrin was laughing. Though as they all kept staring, he seemed to wilt in front of them. “Uh… too much? Sorry, I-I thought it’d break the ice…” He got up, awkwardly shuffling to where his gloved hand had landed and putting it back on with a pop, wiggling his fingers demonstratively. “See? Good as new! No harm done!”

“Sif. Siffrin. Buddy. Are- are you okay? That doesn’t hurt, does it?” Isabeau said, hand hovering in the air.

“It doesn’t. I’m designed to come apart, when I need to,” Siffrin said. He hesitated only slightly before pulling his cloak and sleeve up, exposing his elbow joint. “I actually, um, have to take myself apart sometimes. For cleaning.”

Mirabelle’s eyes were a bit too wide, but she kept her composure surprisingly well for someone who was screaming moments ago. “Is that… scary? I mean, you have to take yourself apart.”

“I mean, not really? It’s probably like taking a bath to you guys.”

Isabeau was staring intently at the exposed “skin” of Siffrin’s arm, face flushed. Gems alive, that man was head over heels, wasn’t he? Getting flustered from the slightest showing of not-skin.

Odile rolled her eyes, unable to deny the fondness in her heart for these four. “Like taking a bath… vulnerable and personal, especially with the element of limited movement, but I’d imagine that any fear would wear off, if it ever existed.”

“O-Oh! Yeah! That makes sense!” Isabeau said. “If, uh…”

“If…?” Siffrin said.

“Nevermind!”

Gems, these two. Get a room. Actually, they all should, preferably at an inn. They needed to get moving.

“Well, I’d be interested in seeing how all of this works, but we did get held up a day or two. We should get moving as soon as we can,” Odile said.

“Yes ma’am,” Siffrin said. He started pitching in, helping others pack. After all, everything he owned was conveniently kept on that one body and its many hidden pockets and apparent crevices. One day, if they beat the curse, she’d find them all. Not today though.

————

I prefer tea, but buy me a Kofi?

[mxnhoo]

like you! (n. rk) playlist

READ THE FIC HERE!

CAUTION this will contain spoilers from the actual fic, so if you haven't finished it, go read the actual fic first! (unless you don't mind being spoiled)

EXTRA NOTE lots of the scenes are actually inspired by specific song lyrics!

"Would it be a stress if I asked you to try again? I'll be patient I swear I'll even count to ten. One two three four five- fuck it."

✎ "Shut up! The countdown is starting!".

You choked out, not being ready to confess your very feelings.

"10.. 9.."

Fuck fuck fuck, you weren't ready!

"8.. 7.."

Fuck it. Fuck it!

"6.. 5.."

You didn't even have time to plan how you were going to say it!

Y'know what?

"4.. 3.." you chanted alongside with him, "Actually, y'know what? Fuck it! I like you!".

"In the midst of the crowds, in the shapes in the clouds, I don't see nobody but you."

✎ ..and as soon as he was about to call out for you, he heard it.

Your laugh.

He turned his head to the same direction and he spotted you. In his eyes, it was almost like a spotlight was shone directly at you from the way his eyes focused on you and you only. Ni-ki stared at you with his jaw dropped as he watched you laugh to another girl, the melody of your laugh sounding like music to his ears.

"No one's gotta know, just us and the moon 'til the sun starts waking"

✎ "Check this out," he finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you. He continued, "You mentioned once you wanted to see the ocean in the beach in the middle of the night..".

He cleared his throat, continuing further, "So here we are".

You remained silent, completely moonstruck by the view as you watched how the waves flowed, and hearing your silence, he was about to nag you for not thanking him until he saw your dazed look. He sighed, taking your dazed look as a 'thank-you', "You're welcome".

"You remembered," "What?" "You remembered that I said that.."

He smiled, "Why else would I bring you here?".

"Ooh, but this is all that I am. I only show you the best of me, the best of me."

✎ "Look, on a serious note, I feel like I'm not good enough for you, but I'll be better for you, I promise," he pulled away, holding your shoulders and grinning at you.

"I would love just to be stuck to your side, not with anybody else, anybody else. It's enough just to keep us occupied, please don't go."

✎ "Was I not the partner you wanted? Is that why you're like this?".

"Absolutely not!" you shot back immediately. "It's just.." you tried to find words to explain yourself without giving yourself away, "you look really ugly right now".

He scoffed, but instead of continuing the banter with him, he only sighed and patted your head, "There she is, welcome back".

You looked into his eyes and saw his soft gaze, causing your heart to skip a beat. You immediately frowned and sucked one side of your cheek, turning your body away from him. "You're so annoying".

"And you're weird as fuck. This is exactly why I 'shit-talked' you that day," he giggled.

"Hey! That was really mean!"

"How could my day be bad when I'm with you? You're the only one who makes me laugh, so how can my day be bad? When it's a day for you?"

✎ You were having lunch, laughing as per usual with the others when Ni-ki suddenly leaned into your ear and whispered, "I like you".

Your face immediately heats up and your chest tightens, your untensils dropping as you smack Ni-ki's chest for teasing you, "Shut up!".

He laughed at your reaction, finding you adorable as he leaned on your shoulder, "I love you, Y/N".

The others rolled their eyes and pretended to puke and gag, finding the whole lovey-dovey situation disgusting and you sighed, not being able to resist him.

"I love you too".

"You're driving me crazy but I like you! You're driving me crazy but I like you, oh! I don't like your eyes, nose, lips even your jokes, I like it, only me."

✎ He was rooted to his spot, completely in awe as his gaze was locked on you. You weren't even doing anything, you were just laughing, wearing your stupid black hoodie and being the dork you were, but it made his head spin.

If only you knew how you made him feel.

"Don't like anybody, tell me why it's different with you? Don't believe in love, but no one makes me feel like you do. I don't say it much 'cause I just always thought that you knew, oh. It's what you do to me, I'm wrapped around around your finger and I can't stop You know, I've got a soft spot for you."

✎ He sighed and leaned back on the bench. "Do you ever wonder why I haven't dated any of the girls you mentioned?".

"C'mon, if you're gunna reject me just directly say—" "Because I like you!"

Features of shock immediately took over your face, not believing what you were hearing. He.. liked.. you?

"I liked you the entire damn time! Even before we became close, okay?!" he ranted, his voice sounding desperate as he confessed to you.

"Remember that time I was 'shit-talking' you in the field?! Thankfully you missed out on the part where I said I liked you!" he continued, his anger spilling out.

"I was hanging with you and then I realised, I didn't think it was true - I was surprised when I found out I'd fallen for you."

✎ "From this, I feel like.."

You looked at him attentively, anticipating to his words.

"You like him. Love even," he broke the news and you shouted in shock, causing him to cover your mouth with his hands.

"No way! Me?! Loving that dork?! As if!" you denied, feeling your cheeks heat up as you grew more irritated for an unknown reason.

"You can believe what you wanna — but you definitely love him".

You pouted as your chest tightened, the weird feeling coming in again as you thought about him.

You? Loving Ni-ki?

I dunno...

Maybe.

"I'll leave my heart with your air, so let me fly with you. Will you be forever with me?"

✎ "What's so funny?! What, now are you rejecting me?!"

"Dork," you teased.

"What?" "You're a dork. A dork for me," you teased further and you watched as his face grew red.

"You never know how to shut your mouth!"

[pullhisteeth]

wise words | eddie munson

summary Eddie f*cked up (royally) and has to work his ass off to get you back. based on a swift song obviously [4k]

contains 18+! fem!reader, a bit of fuckboy!eddie, angst, arguing, grovelling, hurt/comfort, crying, eventual fluff, suggestive themes/allusions to smut, Robin and Steve being disappointed but supportive pseudo-parents

-

He’s standing on your doorstep.

He’s standing on your doorstep and he’s shaking. Like a fucking leaf.

He looks down at the flowers wrapped in cellophane and thinks, are they good enough?

Am I good enough?

Will anything ever be good enough?

Thick drops of rainwater run down the plastic and coat the pink petals and he resolves that no, they’re not good enough.

He knocked twenty-three seconds ago. He knows this because he’s counting, keeping himself grounded.

Twenty-four Mississippi.

Twenty-five Mississippi.

Twenty-six Miss-

The door swings open quickly, almost impatiently, as though there wasn’t nearly half a minute between the knock and the response.

He looks up and when his eyes meet yours he knows for sure this time that this was a bad idea.

“Are you insane?” you ask him. Concern cuts through the irritation, leaving those creases by your eyebrows he’s so familiar with.

He doesn’t respond, his mind elsewhere. He’s desperately trying to pull it back but it’s running fast, back to yesterday evening.

-

“Eddie, seriously,” Robin says, impatient, “you have to do something. This is getting ridiculous, and besides, she’s crazy about you, even if you did royally fuck up, and- Hey!”

“What Rob means to say,” Steve interjects, giving her a swift and clean elbow to the ribs, “is that you’ve gotta grovel, man.”

“But it’s been so long,” Eddie whines, running his hands over his face, a pattern he has grown accustomed to over the past few months. A fed-up, miserable routine of lamenting his deepest regrets to his patient but equally-as-fed-up friends over beers on the nights you’re too busy to join them. “I can’t- I don’t know what I’d say.”

“Here,” Robin says, laying her palms flat on the table, fingers splayed. She pushes herself up, weight on her hands, and leans over Eddie. He stares up at her from behind his own fingers and winces quietly. “You love her, right?”

“Yes,” he responds, voice muffled under the heels of his hands.

“And she loves you-”

“Does she?”

“-and we know this because we’re her friends.”

Eddie’s eyes flit to Steve, whose face is drooping with sympathy. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of a Robin Buckley lecture knows the feeling, and he has had his fair share.

“So what you gotta do,” she continues, dipping her head to regain his attention, “is apologise.”

“I tried that-”

“Properly.”

At this he gives in, huffing a sigh and dropping his arms to fold in front of him, quickly enough to catch his head as it drops to the table like an anvil. He hears Robin return to her seat, and then feels gracious fingers on his elbow.

“Eds, man, it’s gonna be fine. You’ve just gotta fight for it.” It’s Steve, being soft as ever, so desperate to see his two friends happy that he’ll relinquish himself to his affectionate side.

“I want to,” he says, voice muffled again by the denim of his jacket sleeves. “But she deserves better than me.”

“Tell her that,” Robin suggests, voice far softer now. “Tell her you miss her, it’s been a long time, and that you were scared.”

She’s clever, Eddie thinks, pulling that gem out from the archives. On a particularly bad night, maybe two months after it had happened, he’d admitted to them the truth at the heart of all of this: he’s a scared boy, one who resolved while young that he would never fall in love, never let the walls down, for fear that he’d have to endure loss any more than was necessary. Your love had driven him mad and fear had driven him away, and now he avoids three diners and nearly all of the gas stations across Hawkins, schedules doctors appointments at the most inconvenient times and definitely never steps foot in the movie theatre downtown.

“She’ll come around,” Robin tells him kindly. When he lifts his head, eyes regretfully filling with that hopeful spark, she says, “She’s mad, don’t get me wrong. But she’ll come around. You just have some work to do.”

“And for what it’s worth,” Steve says in a cadence that worries Eddie enough to make him lift his head back up again, looking at Steve’s stern expression, “she does deserve better than you.”

“Stop, Steve, seriously-”

“She deserves better than you if you can’t find the fucking courage to go get her back.”

-

Now, standing on your front doorstep, looking at you for the first time in half a year, Eddie knows Steve was right. He doesn’t have the balls to do this; he’s too afraid of rejection, and more specifically rejection from you, and this was a bad idea. You deserve better.

He barely notices when you step one pace to the left, and when you speak your voice sounds like it’s coming from the other side of a thick wall.

“You’re gonna get hypothermia if you stay out there.”

He moves without thinking too hard, because you’re right - it’s cold as fuck out here and he’s grateful for the humming warmth he can feel coming from inside your home.

“Just stay there, I’m gonna get some towels.”

He feels pathetic, standing in your hallway, dripping wet like a fucking dog, gripping so hard onto the flowers that his knuckles are turning white. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, afraid of getting anything in your house wet, but acutely aware of how stupid he must look.

You come back around the corner with two big bath towels in your arms. They’re white and Eddie feels the burning shame of ruining them but says nothing, remaining tight-lipped and letting you clean up the floor. When your fingers curl around his tense ones he stares at you, at the strange, unreadable look on your face, and feels the jolt of a thousand volts carry down his fingers and into his shoulder. Where your fingers made contact you leave a sensation not unlike carpet burn.

“These are pretty,” you tell him, gently pulling the flowers from his grip. The cellophane crinkles and it slowly brings him back to this, to you, and he nearly chokes on air.

He says your name, a pathetic sound followed by even more pathetic noises, and when you smile, tight-lipped just like him and brows turned down, he cracks, voice failing him as he stumbles.

“Get your boots off and meet me in the kitchen,” you say, your face unreadable as ever as you turn on your heels and step back through the open door he knows well. 

You leave him bewildered, like a soldier in the wake of a bomb, but he eventually comes to and does as you say. He debates leaving them outside, to cause you the least bother possible, but decides instead to leave them on one of the towels by the door.

His socks are soggy, slipping on the hardwood as he treads softly through your home. The reaction his gut is having to being here is ugly, so he breathes in slowly through his nose and wipes rainwater off his cheek with the back of his hand.

You’ve got your back to him, standing over the sink. At first he thinks you’re sorting the flowers, the way you always do - wrapping off, stalks trimmed, vase filled - but then he sees that, instead, you’re gripping the porcelain. White-knuckled.

For the first time he gets a look at you, or the back of you at least, because he’s pretty sure you haven’t heard him come around the corner. You’re much the same as before, except for the way you’ve cut your hair, and the fact that he remembers you in pretty sundresses and tennis shoes but it’s December, so you’re bundled in a jumper and sweats.

“I, uh-” He stammers, words catching on the edges of his teeth. He says your name again and watches you flinch. “It’s- It’s been so long, I-”

“Yeah,” you breathe, shoulders relaxing and grip loosening. You turn and lean back on the sink with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Just so you know,” he starts, and he can feel it, the fucking sarcastic tone that he can’t seem to shake. It comes out whenever he has to be genuine and it’s like someone else somewhere is pushing his buttons, controlling what comes out of his mouth. “-it’s been the, uh, the longest six months I think... ever.”

You look at him, more than familiar with this tone and this game. 

“Yeah,” you say again.

“I don’t really know how to-”

“Eddie,” you bite, words like venom. “Can I ask you a question?”

As he nods his head, a little bemused, you gesture to the kitchen table. He catches on and sits at the chair closest to the door as you mirror him on the chair opposite.

“Why the fuck are you here?”

You rest your crossed arms on the table and lean on them, peering at him.

He breathes in slowly.

“To apologise.”

You scoff and he flinches, recoiling at the sound.

“And how’s this one gonna be different to the other hundred apologies?” You spit the word, as though it bears no meaning. At this point, and when it comes to Eddie, it almost doesn't.

That’s fair, he thinks.

-

“You are such a fucking jackass, Eddie Munson,” Robin barks, raising her arms in defeat. She’s pacing the aisles of Family Video while he sits on the counter and Steve loiters behind it, sorting tapes. “A jackass, seriously!”

“I get it, Rob, thanks,” he drones.

“No,” she snaps, feet finally finished being aimless and instead marching her over to him. She stands somewhere close to between his knees and if it weren’t Robin and she weren’t about to grill him for all he’s worth, it might be endearing.

She jabs her index finger into his chest, straight to the centre of his sternum.

“You’re a piece of shit. An asshole. A douchebag. And I’m allowed to call you all of these things because it’s me who gets the phone calls at two in the morning when she’s crying over you. Again.”

He drops his gaze, his hair covering her wrist and his face.

“Why’d you do it, dude?” Steve asks from behind him. “Like… I just don’t see the… Goal, or whatever.”

Eddie groans and tips his head back, staring uncomfortably at the ceiling tiles.

He wonders for a brief moment, before answering, why the two of them are still friends with him. Clearly his end goal is being as inaccessible as possible, keeping everyone at such a far distance at all times that he can never feel remorse, or that he’s letting anyone down. But now he’s here, with his friends, and he’s let them down and, worst of all, let you down, too. More than ever.

“I was trying to make it better,” he says, and the jab to the sternum comes harder this time, and is the full brunt of Robin’s fist rather than her finger.

“That is bullshit,” she says.

“I was!” he maintains, exasperated. “I just… I started trying to explain myself and I just couldn’t tell the truth.”

“So instead you told her you never want to see her again?!”

“I-”

“How does that help literally anything?!”

Robin’s right, of course. She’s always right; too smart for her own good, Eddie’s always thought. But he doesn’t have an answer for her.

“She’s better off that way anyway,” he says, sighing.

-

He blinks at you, studying your stern expression, before answering.

“I wanna be honest with you,” he begins, “like, actually this time. And I know it’s been ages and that I have been…”

“Awful,” you suggest.

“Yeah, awful-”

“An asshole. The worst. Evil. Cruel. Mean.”

“Right,” he says, nodding limply. “Yeah. That.”

You lean back, arms still crossed like armour.

“I want to get this right,” he admits, surprising himself, “and I’m trying to work out how.”

You also seem taken aback by this, brows raising just a bit, your eyes going wide. You don’t say anything, though.

“I want you to know how sorry I am,” he continues. He’s sitting rigid in his seat and can’t find something to occupy his fingers, so he begins twisting a ring around one of them. “But, like, I don’t know how to get that across… The flowers were, uh, step one, and this is step two… I, uh…”

He’s stumbling again, searching for the words in a sea of insecurity and unsteadiness. You wait, sitting still and breathing shallow.

“I think I- I was scared.”

“Of what?” you ask, taking him by surprise. He was expecting a vast silence that he would have to fill with pleas, excuses, sorries and truths. He thought you’d leave him to it and let him down slowly at the end.

“Uh, of you. Of us, I guess.”

“What?”

He leans forward finally, dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t know how to-”

“Try,” you say flatly.

He looks up at you, unsure.

“Try to explain it. You haven’t even tried.”

Deep, heavy breath in.

-

“Eddie, you can’t, I don’t-”

“Fucking stop it,” he bites, arrowhead words ripping you open.

“I don’t understand,” you try again, voice thick with tears and your throat closing in. In fact, everything is closing in.

He’s leaving.

“Exactly,” he spits, pulling his shirt on. “Just… I’m going.”

“But-”

He’s out of the door, jacket in arm, before you can protest any further. Your mind is racing, spinning out in search of something that you could have done to fix this, or else something you could have done to cause this.

But you’re coming up empty, because you’d spent the day the same as any other day this summer: in your bed, entwined, wayward fingers and lazy kisses. Sweet nothings splashed in whispers across bare skin, and-

Oh, you think. Oh.

-

“When you said you loved me,” he begins, wincing at his own honesty, “I just… I freaked, it was scary. I… Honestly, the main problem here is that I was fucking scared. I am scared. I don’t know how to… How to love, or whatever… How to do it right and not hurt you, or me, or both of us. I’m useless, it’s why I’ve never bothered before and I knew, even before we started hooking up, that-”

“Hooking up?”

He looks at you, pulling his eyes back from their wandering, to find you bitter and your face contorted in disgust.

“You call that hooking up?”

“I mean- I-”

“If you think we were hooking up, that’s bad enough, Eddie. Hook ups don’t last three months.”

“No,” he sighs. “They don’t. I think I’m… Trying to make myself feel better about it.”

“You don’t deserve that,” you tell him, and though it’s cutting and it should hurt, your voice is so kind so suddenly that he can’t help but lean into it, tugging gently on the hands of care it extends to him. “You left me, after months of stringing me along. I was basically your girlfriend, without the labels or whatever. There isn’t another word for what we were.”

“No,” he agrees, dwelling for a moment too long on those moments of domesticity, the quiet mornings drinking coffee on your front lawn, the afternoons spent hanging the laundry and throwing stray socks at one another. “And that was fucking scary. I was way too scared, when you said you loved me that morning, way too scared to admit what I really, really wanted.”

“Which was?” you ask, arms still firmly crossed.

“Oh, come on,” he scoffs. “You know what I-”

“Say it.”

“You-

“Say it.”

He breathes, defeated, and looks at you dead in the eye.

“I love you,” he tells you. “I loved you then, and I love you now, and I have no idea what to do about it.”

You deflate, your arms going lax, face surprised as though you didn’t expect him to actually do it, to rise to your challenge and be honest. For a flash, he feels smug, but then he remembers-

“I love you,” he repeats - the feeling of the words rolling off his tongue is unbearable, they’re too heavy, they won’t stop falling - “but you deserve better than me.”

You breathe sharply through your nose in frustration.

“Why are you here then?”

“What?”

“If I deserve better than you,” you repeat, finally releasing the tightness of your crossed arms and planting your palms on your knees, “why are you here? To torture me? Not satisfied with the last six fucking months, huh?”

“No, I-”

“Well, Eddie-” You spit his name like it’s gone bad and it twists something inside him. “-I’m fucking fed up of you and your… How mean you are. You’re always so mean to me and I hate that I cried over you for weeks-”

-

The door swings open and Robin rushes inside, expression tight with fear and worry.

She calls your name in a tone that drips affection as she rounds on you, where you’re standing with your weight on the wall and a hand over your face. By now it’s puffy and uncomfortable, your cheeks raw from wiping them with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

“What happened?” she asks, holding you like you’re about to break and moving you across your house to the couch. “Did you argue? Or-”

“He left, Robs. Just left.” You sigh and it heaves like you’re sat under a crate of bricks. Robin’s heart aches, nearly cracks in two at the sight of you and the fury she feels for her stupid, good-for-nothing metalhead friend.

“Oh, honey,” she coos, wrapping you up in strong arms. As she rocks you, you cry, and she kisses the crown of your head and tells you, without much belief in it herself, that it’ll be okay.

“Steve’s on his way,” she says after ten or fifteen minutes.

“It’s okay, I’m-”

“We’re gonna stay here,” she says quickly, “just for tonight.”

You look at her, eyes glassy, and as you speak your voice cracks. “I love him, Rob.”

She looks back at you sadly, fingers gripping your hands. “I know.”

-

You’re on your feet now, pacing back and forth and he’s watching, transfixed, as your shoulders move up and down, powered by rage, understandably.

“-I cried so much because I had spent weeks working up the courage to say that to you, to admit it to you and to myself because you’re so cold, Eddie. You’re so cold and distant and I still managed to fall in love with you.”

It’s at this point that Eddie’s drifting eye, which is following you back and forth, lands on the cluster of picture frames on your windowsill. He recognises most of them - photos of the group of you, up by the lake or in Chicago, some of your family and others at special occasions. But one of them calls to him loud enough to pull his eye from you completely.

It’s a silly frame he found at the thrift store. It’s hand-painted in gaudy colours, brush strokes in swirls and bursts of yellow and purple and green. And behind the glass is a picture Wayne had taken one day when you were at his trailer, watching movies on the couch.

It’s a polaroid, as most of your photos are, bright cracks of colour and light caused by the window right by his head - his head which is looking straight ahead, big wide grin and happy eyes, and you beside him, hands on one of his thighs, pushing yourself up to kiss his cheek.

It’s only when you stop pacing and, more noticeably, stop talking that he realises anything is wrong. His face is wet and there are new drops of water on the table - not the drying rainwater from his hair, but one or two drips from his jaw.

“Are you crying?” you ask, hands on your hips.

“Huh?” He asks, wiping his face with his wrist. “I, uh… Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just-”

His eyes flicker upwards and past you, to somewhere you follow with your own gaze. It lands on the photo and you start, cheeks flushing warm.

Suddenly, the anger lingering in the room, filling the air and his lungs and almost definitely yours, dissipates. It doesn’t disappear as such - you’re still seething, breathing loudly, but it’s like someone cracked a whip and the dust lifted.

He calls your name and you look at him, wide-eyed.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you earnestly. “I’m really, really sorry.”

You breathe out slowly and he watches your chest deflate as you take a step to sit back down. As you sit he rises, stepping over to you on unsure feet. He’s tentative, waiting - expecting - an adverse reaction.

You watch him as he gets closer and lowers himself to the ground.

“You are not about to-”

“I’m not getting on my knees, if that’s what you’re gonna say,” he says, and his tone is light - too light for his liking, but he catches the twitch in the corner of your mouth and something warm blooms in one of the chambers of his heart.

He squats beside you, resting his weight on one hand on the table. He keeps the other to himself, fingers spread over his bent knee.

“I’m an asshole. In fact, I’ve been all of those things you said, and I don’t think I’ll ever be sorry enough for you. But I… I’ve had all this time, and some… intense conversations with Rob and Steve, and I… I want to try to be sorry enough. Or to just make it up to you, somehow. Because I can’t… It’s too hard, doing all of this without you.”

He knows how this must look, him on the ground, soggy socks and soggier hair, staring at you like a lost puppy. But the way your eyes soften, and the familiar feeling of the brush of your fingertips over the damp skin of his bare wrist, is enough to make him go limp.

“What’d they say?” you ask him, watching your own fingers where they trace aimless strokes.

“Hm?”

“Rob and Steve. What’d they say?”

He laughs lightly, embarrassed.

“Uh, that I’m an asshole. In fact, Rob, she made sure to tell me that multiple times. Basically every time I saw her. And Steve, he… He’s such a good dude, you know? But I… I disappointed them, and myself, and you. I hurt you so bad and I don’t know where to put all this guilt I have.”

Neither of you are looking at one another, but you chuckle, thinking about Robin. Her loyalty makes your head spin. And Steve, with his heart of gold, who held you all those times you cried and fought silently between his anger at Eddie and his love for you.

“I love them,” you whisper, your fingers halting. The pad of your thumb hovers over the protruding joint, stroking it softly until you feel the thrum of his pulse under your own. Your fingers wrap the opposite way, until you’re holding his arm like a bracelet.

You squeeze and he sucks a quick breath in.

“You really hurt me, Eddie,” you tell him, lifting his arm off the table. He wobbles and uses his free hand to steady himself on your chair, the knuckle of his thumb meeting the side of your thigh for just a second. You manoeuvre his hand into your lap, where you lay it flat. You both stare at it and all he can hear is your breathing and the rush of blood past his ears.

“I know I did,” he says. “I can go, if you want.”

You hum and begin tracing the lines on his palm. “It’s gonna take a while,” you say.

“What is?”

“Making it up to me.”

His eyes move without permission to your face, where he finds a barely-there smile and the beginnings of the crows feet by your eyes.

“Forever,” he says, knowing you’re right - it’ll take a long, long time.

“Forever.”

“I must’ve been crazy,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.

“Hm?”

Your fingers are still now, resting on his, and he finally moves his own. His knees are burning from squatting and the balls of his feet are digging into something sharp under the linoleum, but he’s not thinking too hard about any of it. He takes your hands in his and holds them, backs of your palms to the front of his. He dips his head and kisses your left wrist and then your right, lingering to feel the thump of your heart.

“I am crazy,” he says. “I let you go.”

“You left me,” you correct him. “I never wanted to go.”

He looks up at you and pales when he sees the tears. Your eyes are wet and red round the edges and he thinks to himself that you’ve been doing this, crying over him, for six months. And it’s his fault.

The two of you move quickly and without thought. His knees buckle, giving into the strain he’s been putting on them for so long, and as he hits the floor he tightens his grip on you without meaning to. You’re pulled off your chair with a yelp and a clatter, landing in his lap with your knee dangerously close to his crotch.

Hands paw and wipe tears and you lift your leg to plant it beside him. As you stabilise yourself his arms come around you, too quickly at first; so quick he worries you’ll push him off, tell him to go fuck himself. They’re met by yours, though, coming around his back.

“I’m sorry,” he says into your hair. “I’m so sorry.”

You say nothing, and instead push your face further into his shoulder.

He feels and hears you sniffling, so he pulls you back gently. Some of his hair sticks to your face and you wipe your nose unceremoniously with the back of your hand, scoffing at him when you see he’s smiling at you.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you tell him, looking away.

“Like what?”

“Like… That.”

“I don’t-”

“You have that look,” you say, groaning. And then you reach up to hold his face, and he caves, bowing into you in every way he can. “You’re so fucking pretty and it’s the worst.”

“You’re one to talk,” he tells you, enjoying the way you flush.

“Always the charmer.”

“It’s true,” he says. “Never seen anyone as pretty as you.”

He leans into your palm and twists just so, lips brushing the heel of it in a quick kiss.

“Flattery won’t get you out of this,” you tell him, your smile deceiving you only slightly.

“I know,” he says. “But it might help me.”

You’ve been inching closer to his face, and now you’re all he sees. You’ve taken up his field of vision, your breath brushing past the end of his nose.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks.

“Wow,” you laugh, “Steve taught you how to be a gentleman since I last saw you or somethin’?”

“Stop- You’re ruining this.”

“Sorry,” you say, still laughing. “You were just never the kind to be so… chivalrous.”

“I’m hardly being chivalrous,” he says, matching your smile. “But now you mention it, yeah, actually.”

You lean back only slightly but it’s enough to make him deflate, unhappy at the new distance.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean… I was an asshole, as we’ve established. Needed to learn my manners again.”

“What did he say?”

“Can we please talk about this later? I just wanna-”

“No,” you say, grinning now. “I want to know.”

He groans, the hand he has spread across your back to hold you up tensing.

“I dunno, he just… He really did a number on me, y’know, telling me how I did everythin’ wrong and that I…”

He’s gone coy and you’re relishing in it.

“You what?”

“I… Steve called me a fuckboy.”

You bark out a laugh so loud Eddie flinches, but then he watches as you carry on laughing, nearly bent double, eyes all crinkled just the way he likes, the way he’s missed terribly.

“What’s so funny?!”

“It’s true,” you say. “It’s so true! Robin, Steve, I mean, we love you, obviously, you’re our friend, but like… They did say when you and me started, y’know… That I was in for it, that you’d break my heart, and I told them they were crazy ‘cause it was just sex, right? But then I realised maybe it wasn’t just sex, when you basically started living here, and we were more like… I dunno, like a couple… But they were right!”

He looks at you, aghast.

“They told you all of that?”

“Yeah! I mean, they were right, huh?”

“Yeah, I just… I didn’t know it was that bad, that they’d be able to notice that kinda thing.”

“You know,” you say, fingers tapping patterns up his chest. “Steve told me somethin’ else, a few months back.”

“Oh, god,” he groans, mind reeling through the thousands of things this could be.

“It’s not bad,” you say. “Well, it’s not one of the bad things. There were still bad things.”

“Right.”

“He said… He said he’s known you for, what, like three years now? And in all that time, before you and me met, you’d always have different girls, were known as a bit of a player at school…”

“Christ, okay.”

“But after you left me, Steve said he’d never seen you be so… Alone.”

Eddie looks at you in shock, so frightened by what else Steve may have said, but also by how you’re relaying this to him. Calm, stoic, unfeeling.

“I mean… I haven’t, y’know, slept with anyone else, if that’s what you-”

“I know,” you say. “I just… It makes it feel more real, you know?”

“I know I’m gonna be spending the rest of my life making sure you know I’m sorry,” he says, breathing out through his nose slowly, “but I mean it. I’ll do it. For the rest of my life. There isn’t anyone else. I’ll forego women, relationships, whatever… ‘Cause I won’t have time. Will be too busy makin’ it up to you.”

He noses at your neck, trying with everything he has to hold himself back from kissing you. The air around the two of you feels thick with laboured breaths and unsaid things - so many unsaid things, things he’ll tell you one day and other things he’s sure he’ll hear from you.

“So can I?” he murmurs into the warm skin above your collarbone, lips only a hair from making contact.

He feels your fingers come around the back of his neck, taking root at the nape where his hair starts. They curl around it, tugging him up, and then you do the dance - the one that always happened between the two of you in these moments. You dip in, so close, and back out, ebbing like a riverbank. It drives him crazy and he knows that you know it, so he smiles, and it’s only then that you finally kiss him.

As you move against him, lips and hands and chest and thighs, he lets his eyes close and his tongue move with yours, and thinks that this - kissing you - is much better when he’s being honest.

-

[kaialone]

Guilty Gear Xrd Series Official Artworks- Short Story "The Reminiscent Gale" (English Translation)

This will be a full English translation of the short story "The Reminiscent Gale" (JPN title: 追憶の疾風)

It’s the third out of three new short stories written to be included in "Guilty Gear Xrd Series Official Artworks"- an artbook released in October 2024, containing concept art for all three main versions of Guilty Gear Xrd.

The specific author(s) of these short stories have not been revealed, but it's been indicated that they were in-house staff of Arc System Works.

--

The Reminiscent Gale

The "wall".

It's not one of the iron fences that might surround you, or some hardened gang of thugs.

But surviving in this harsh environment for sixteen years? That's one "wall" you'll find yourself facing, no matter what.

It may be called by many names, but even in the town where the boy grew up, people knew the "Wall of Sixteen".

The boy possessed extraordinary intellect, allowing him to quickly understand the reality of this. He mastered the art of living in the shadows, and cleared the wall with ease.

—

Countless shadows fell to the ground, and a mob eagerly pecked away at them like a wake of vultures.

One shadow found himself completely unable to move. There was a man, gently whispering to him, keeping both of them out of sight.

"Don't worry, I won't bite. You get it, don't you?"

"E-eek…"

"See, we just wanna get along, too. So, how about you show us some sincerity?"

"G-got it, I'm sorry, please forgive…"

Before he could finish his sentence, the larger man had passed out from fear. As the other let go of his collar, he heard someone call his name.

"Hey, Answer. How's it going over there?"

It seemed his fellow slum residents had finished their "work" early.

"Done already, Martin? Well, same here. Doubt they'll try anything else after this."

"Hmph, sure hope they learned their lesson."

"If they didn't, we'll just pay them back in kind. Anyway, we're leaving!"

Following Answer's command, everyone withdrew. Since it was a struggle just to make it through each passing day, their group always stuck together closely. As a result, their bond had grown stronger than blood.

And for Answer, the very act of protecting them was his sole purpose in this hell.

…Until he met a certain man.

—

"Alpha Blade!!"

"Gaaaargh!!"

A man who could only be described as bizarre, calling himself a ninja. Answer happened to be familiar with the concept of a "ninja". And this man, who'd appeared like a gale of wind, looked nothing like one.

"Wh- What's with this guy… Is he crazy?!"

"He's so fast… Gaargh!"

"Hey, Answer! You gotta help us!!"

"Martin! Harold! Keith! Damn it, what the hell's going on?!"

This guy just started preaching to them out of the blue, claiming he would make the world a better place. It was more than enough to set off Answer and his cohorts.

So, they decided to rough him up a bit, figuring it wouldn't take much to make him cry and beg them for forgiveness. Instead, they were now the ones falling to the ground, one after the other.

Inexplicable techniques, incomprehensible speed. Swirling echoes of angry shouts, instantly silenced by an unseen blade.

And mere moments later, only two shadows were left standing… The man who called himself a ninja, and Answer.

"…What's with that stupid-ass get-up? Don't you know who you're messin' with?"

"Hmph. You're talking a lotta smack… considering you don't even know about the most lethal of Japanese weapons—the shinobi!"

"Th- That's it, you're dead…!"

It didn't make any sense. How could the home he wished to protect, his family, just be trampled like that?

For Answer, it was like everything he'd done up until this point was being rendered null and void. He had to fight back. With nothing but that single thought in his mind, he stood up to the man before him.

—

"You're actually tougher than I thought you'd be. What's your name?"

Even as Answer was lying on the ground, the self-proclaimed ninja continued to speak to him with the exact same tone as before.

It took great effort to even move his head, but he still turned to glare at him, and a completely genuine question escaped his lips.

"…Seriously, what the hell's your problem? If it's money you want…"

"What I want is your name. Even if you grew up on the streets, you gotta at least have one of those, right?"

"…It's Answer."

"Answer, huh? That's a fine name. Hey, you should help me become president."

"…What?"

"I bet you'd make for a pretty good ninja."

What is he on about? Did I really just lose to an actual nutcase…?

It took the full capacity of his brain to even come up with a follow-up question.

"Why… president?"

"Like I said, I wanna make the world a better place. That's why I'm hard at work to get folks to vote for me, obviously."

"Vote? You're telling me you're running for office?"

"Running for what?"

Now his anger started giving way to sadness. Even the little brats around these parts knew their place better than this guy.

"You really gonna waste your time with scum like us? If you wanna make the world right, you gotta use your head a little more."

"Don't be silly! Being a ninja isn't just about your head, you gotta train your mind and body, too. And even I used to be a… Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. Tell me, are you okay with the way things are right now?

"…Am I what?"

"Like, trying so hard and just barely surviving. 'Grin and bear it', and all that. You gonna keep doing this forever?"

"…Don't you make fun of me. What do you know? Every single day I see things in this garbage dump that I wish I hadn't. They're forever seared into my mind."

All the things they'd done. Telling themselves that they had to, in order to survive. And all the faces that followed along.

Faces of his family, contorted with pain. Faces of his comrades as they breathed their last. Faces of those damn hypocrites that made him want to puke. Faces, faces, faces…

"There's nothin' good about living like this, but you gotta do it if you wanna protect people! I don't need some well-off asshole without a care in the world showin' up to spout hollow bullcrap and tell me what to do!"

After his outburst, he realized he'd completely forgotten to breathe. A sharp pain filled his lungs, and he was starting to feel dizzy. Probably from the lack of oxygen.

Having kept quiet so far, the man before him sighed deeply, and looked Answer straight in the eye as he spoke.

"I dunno what kinda things you've been dealing with up until today. But, the things you're dealing with right now? I'll carry those for you. So, become a ninja, and help me become president."

"Are you shitting me?! The hell are you gonna do, jackass?! An outsider like you got no business in this shithole!"

"I'm gonna change this shithole."

"…Huh?"

"I'm gonna talk to everyone here and tell them to vote for me. That way they'll all agree to make me president. And presto! We'll have a safe and secure country."

"…"

"Well, there's probably gonna be folks like you who aren't gonna listen. I'll still talk to those guys though, even if I gotta beat them up, too."

"…"

"Oh shoot, our country's gonna need a name then, huh? It's probably better to keep it simple, so how about 'Shinobi Kingdom'? What do you think, Answer?"

"…Hah… Hahaha…"

The corners of his mouth curled up all on their own. He could practically hear the sound of his brain cells blowing out.

This guy was the real deal. His instincts told him so.

"Y'know…"

As he sat up and regained his balance, something caught his eye.

The barrel of a gun, hidden in the shadows behind the ninja, pointed in their direction. It was Martin.

In that instant, two options flashed through Answer's mind.

The first was to just let the crazy ninja die.

And then continue living this shitty life for the rest of his days.

The second was…

"Watch out, dumbass!"

Not quite what you're supposed to say when you're saving someone.

—

"I must say, I did not expect you to actually kick everyone's butt and then talk with them."

"A ninja never lies. Good thing you trusted me, huh?"

"Indeed. Well, in hindsight."

"…By the way, Answer. Shouldn't you first practice your ninja skills instead of how to talk all stiff like that?"

"Oh, quit your bellyaching, would you? Seeing as you are quite unreliable, I have no choice but to rely on anything else available to lay the proper groundwork for us, Boss. Really, you should be on your knees and profess your gratitude towards me."

"Oh yeah, about that 'Boss' thing! I told you to call me 'Okashira'! Martin and the others get it right." (1)

"Yes. Yes, you did tell me. My humblest apologies."

"Plus, there's your look. If you were just a tad more… you know, like an actual ninja, it'd be perfect."

"Aaaarrrrgh! Will you shut up already, you moron?! Ah, shit, a call. Hello, yes, this is Answer! Yes, thank you for the other day- Oh no, we pride ourselves on dedication and sincerity…"

--

Translation Note:

(1) What happens here is that Answer refers to Chipp with the actual English word "boss". This is fairly common in Japanese pop culture for this sort of character context. Of course, Chipp being the way he is, insists on being called "okashira" instead, a Japanese word that can be translated as "boss".

It's also spelled in katakana as "オカシラ" when Chipp says it, rather than the more conventional kanji/hiragana spellings, which—long story short—is a visual indicator showing that Chipp is literally saying the word as "okashira", even if in-universe these characters are likely supposed to be speaking English to each other.

Because of this, I left the word untranslated here, as that seems to be the intent.

There's one more thing to note about this, however.

By the time of Guilty Gear Xrd itself, Answer actually does consistently refer to Chipp as "okashira". But now Chipp wants to be called "president" instead, making the "okashira" bit from this short story intentionally ironic.

This only goes for the original Japanese script though, since Chipp's "okashira" title was just translated as "boss", or sometimes "my lord" in the English localization of Xrd.

So, if you're only familiar with the English script, you don't really get the full context of this bit, which is why I wanted to explain it here.

--

[msunitedstatesjames]

A few years ago, I played through the Dragon Age games. Now I'm playing through Mass Effect, and I find it kind of hilarious that in both DA2 and ME2 Bioware was like, "Okay, these games are pretty combat heavy, so we've got to figure out who the protagonists are going to be fighting the whole game." And in both games, they were like, "How about various gangs, each with a gimmick, whose members will ceaselessly throw themselves into the deadly path of the protagonist?"

I've written about this before for DA2, but it's just as funny in ME2.

You've gotta imagine the conversations happening in the mercenary gang headquarters throughout the events of this game. The leaders have gotta be like, "Okay, why are our members dropping like flies all of the sudden?" And then they get a little intel and they're like, "Oh."

So they gather their crews around and they're like, "So guys, we just want to let you know to keep an eye out on any jobs coming up because we've been taking some hits."

And the crew members are like, "Okay, who are we looking out for?"

And the leaders go, "Well, first of all, Commander Shepard. You know that human who saved the Citadel from the Geth and that rogue Spectre a couple of years ago?"

And one of the dudes is like, "I heard it was actually a Reaper she defeated."

And the rest of the crew laugh at that crazy conspiracy theory and are like, "One human? Big deal."

And the leaders are like, "Well...not exactly. She tends to run with a crew."

And then the leaders have to tell them about Shepard's crew, consisting of:

Some human lady who always wears a hood (Kasumi is actually good at her job, so I assume they wouldn't have reliable intel on her)

A Quarian tech expert

A former Alliance marine who survived Eden Prime and the attack of the Citadel

A lady who's pretty much a clone designed to be physically and mentally perfect

A Salarian who helped redesign the genophage and was also a member of the Special Forces

The galaxy's top bounty hunter and also co-founder of the Blue Suns

Some Drell dude who may or may not be the most successful assassin in the galaxy

A biotic prodigy who has broken out of more than one high security containment facility

Weirdly, another clone designed to be physically and mentally perfect, but this time they're a Krogan

An Asari Justicar (or her even more murderous progeny)

A Geth who can talk, apparently

And a Turian who looks like, sounds like, and shoots exactly like that guy Archangel, who took out large swaths of merc crews almost singlehandedly before mysteriously disappearing (or dying?) on Omega

And at first the crew isn't that impressed. They're like, "Sounds like a bunch of weaklings to me." And then somewhere around Zaeed they start to be like, "Okay, we'll keep a lookout." And then somewhere around like Samara they start to be like, "Well, shit." And then they get to Garrus and they're like, "Please don't let it be that asshole again."

And the merc Commanders are like, "Good luck to you guys. Make sure to wear a helmet or you might be getting your head crushed through some mixture of pure biotic force, a Krogan bodyslam, and/or a headshot from the guy who's definitely not Archangel!"

And then after the guys leave the Commander thinks to himself, "I'm glad I made it up through the ranks before all this bullshit."

[katesmemes]

feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!

“Hell is a teenage girl.”

“I guess I’m not exactly perfect, myself.”

“I recommend you shut the fuck up!”

“I used to be normal.”

“I hate this fucking song.”

“I promised [Name] I would hang out with him tonight.”

“Wear something cute, okay?”

“Those jeans are hella low, I can almost see your front butt.”

“Quit tamponing yourself and get down here!”

“You always do what [Name] tells you to do.”

“You’re totally jello.”

“You’re lime-green jello and you can’t even admit it to yourself.”

“Hey, [Name], you look really pretty.”

“You play your instruments really…super good.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’ll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.”

“That’s my best friend that you’re talking about.”

“I had to stay home the next day and sit on a frozen bag of peas.”

“He was skinny and twisted and evil like this tree I saw when I was a kid.”

“Maybe I’m going crazy.”

“You do have a tendency to overreact.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with you, aside from the obvious surface flaws?”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t die.”

“I’m crazy sorry about your profound loss.”

“You are crying about [Name], right?”

“You know when you kiss a boy for the first time, and it feels like your entire body is on vibrate?”

“She’s just staring out the window like a zombie mannequin robot statue.”

“Well, the bad luck’s gotta be over, right?”

“I mean, it can’t get any worse, right? It can’t.”

“No offense, but you look really tired.”

“Is everything okay?”

“My skin is breaking out and my hair is dull and lifeless.”

“PMS isn’t real, [Name], it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.”

“Don’t look at me like that!”

“Um, I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“You wanna know if I’ll go out with you?”

“Well, we’ve been having a lot of fun in class, you and I, and thought maybe you’d like to go see a movie or something.”

“I’m used to boys asking me out, [Name].”

“Why don’t you just come by my place tonight?”

“It’s about this girl who’s, like, half-sushi.”

“So, are you gonna come over tonight?”

“I went to [Location] and picked up more condoms, so—”

“This isn’t really your house, is it?”

“Do you even know my last name?”

“I thought boys like you were really into vermin and death and shit.”

“But we always share your bed when we have slumber parties…”

“I’m not gonna bite you.”

“Is that my [Logo/Brand] t-shirt?”

“What the fuck is happening?!”

“I have never heard you drop the F-bomb before!”

“What do you want from me?”

“Best friends don’t keep secrets, right?”

“They’re basically like agents of Satan with really awesome haircuts.”

“I dunno if we should go through with this.”

“They did go all Benihana on my ass with that knife and it should’ve killed me, and it should’ve killed me but for some reason it didn’t.”

“Anyway, I don’t really remember what happened after that, I just know that I woke up and I found my way back to you.”

“I mean, I’m a really good friend, but I was just so hungry…”

“We’re gonna sort all this out, okay?”

“It’s like some X-Men shit, right?”

“Y’know, [Name] maybe you should talk to somebody about all these…disturbing thoughts that you’re having…”

“I think he may be having second thoughts about you.”

“We can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to.”

“You’re breaking up with me?”

“I just need to show you something.”

“You’re acting really fucked up.”

“[Name], I think you need help.”

“Oh my god, you don’t believe me.”

“It’s not safe for us to be together right now.”

“Didn’t you hear me calling your name?”

“I just can’t believe that she would mess with your head like this.”

“I care about you so much, [Name].”

“[Name] didn’t deserve a boy like you.”

“Oh, you’re so salty.”

“I feel so empty.”

“Why don’t you just come here and kiss me again?”

“God, do you have to undermine everything that I do?”

“You are such a player-hater.”

“Wow, nice insult Hannah Montana.”

“You were never a good friend.”

“You could have anybody that you want, [Name].”

“I go both ways.”

“I think I already died before you got here, but I woke up when I heard your voice.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You look totally hot in that dress.”

“Oh, you’re clearly delirious.”

“You killed my fucking boyfriend, you goddamn monster!”

“You dumb bitch!”

“Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot?”

“God, you’re butch.”

“I’m a different person now.”

“You just might get lucky for once in your miserable life.”