#like way before he realizes anything substantial about life or shawn

[polymatthews]

I think Cory's real gay awakening would've been having a huge crush on one of his favorite baseball players

[shawnssongs]

Too Much

requested

warnings: mentions of an eating disorder, and hospitalization.

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“Hey, hun.” Shawn greeted as he made his way into his dressing room after his performance.

“Hey, babe!” You stood up, shutting your laptop before hugging him. “You were amazing tonight.”

“You say that every night.” He spoke before placing a quick peck on your lips, his arms still wrapped around your waist.

“Because you’re always amazing. Really though, particular taste was spot on.”

“Really?” Shawn asked, his eyes lighting up. “All the falsetto in that one makes me so nervous.”

“Really. You sounded great.”

“Well, thank you.” He pressed another kiss to your lips before letting go. “I’m going to take a quick shower. You coming out with us?”

Shawn and his friends and team loved going out to bars and anywhere that happened to be open late at night after concerts because they always had way too much energy to go to sleep.

“No, babe. I have to work on my report.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe next time.”

You smiled up at him, nodding. You made your way back to the laptop while Shawn took a shower, working your hardest to get as much done as possible. You were going to university, but after being with Shawn for a couple years at this point and completely missing a whole tour, you decided to do a semester online to be able to go on this tour with him. He had been begging and begging ever since he found out he was going on another, and you knew how much tour means to him, so you couldn’t say no.

However, you didn’t join them next time. You didn’t join them the next either. It had been weeks at this point, and Shawn had stopped asking.

“I’ll see you later, babe. Don’t stay up too late,” he’d say before kissing your head and taking off with Brian.

Being on the computer all day every day save for sleep and Shawn’s concerts had become a daily norm. You tried to be with Shawn as much as possible and support him, but there was just too much to do.

“Wanna go out for breakfast today? Andrew doesn’t need me until two.” Shawn asked in the hotel room bed as he played with your fingers that were wrapped up in his, just like the rest of your body.

“You know I can’t, Shawn. I have so much stuff to do, and I haven’t been feeling too well recently.” You answered truthfully.

“Mm, okay. I’m sure you’re just homesick. I promise, if you can catch up on your schoolwork and take the time to enjoy this tour instead of locking yourself up in my dressing rooms or the bus, then you’ll have the time of your life.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before getting out of bed and making his way to the bathroom, clearly unaware of how serious you were.

You really weren’t feeling well, and it wasn’t because you were homesick. You’d love nothing more than to explore and spend every night walking around a new city with your boyfriend, but you couldn’t. You were working so hard doing your best to please Shawn without falling behind on your schoolwork that you had stopped eating.

You didn’t notice at first, but every time you had to travel in the bus, you’d get nauseous, and you were never one to get carsick. After realizing you had been skipping meals, you noticed you were getting skinnier, and not exactly in a healthy way.

Despite all that, you figured there wasn’t much else you could do. You had to keep doing your school work. You had been through two years of college already with a 4.0 gpa, and you weren’t going to throw that away because of Shawn’s tour. The smartest idea would have been to take a gap year, but it was a little too late for that now.

As the weeks passed by, it kept getting worse. You had been able to catch up on your schoolwork a bit, giving you time to go out with Shawn and sightsee a little more, but every time you ate too much, your stomach would throw it all back out.

You were doing your best to hide it from Shawn, only eating small amounts of food when you were out with him and drinking lots of water instead of the substantial amounts of alcohol Shawn and his fiends consumed every night they went out.

“Y/n, you in here?” Shawn called from the hallway, making his way into his dressing room where you were currently laying on the couch, a cold wash cloth resting on your forehead.

When you didn’t answer, Shawn popped his head through the door. “Hey, come on. I want to show you something.”

“Not right now, Shawn.” You mumbled.

“Please, babe. You’re not doing anything.”

“I don’t feel well.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re just homesick. Come on. You’ll love this.” You heard his voice getting closer, and you opened your eyes to find his hand outstretched to you, waiting to take you wherever he seemed so eager to get to.

You obliged, not wanting to let him down of course.

“Come on!” Shawn started jogging, pulling you along behind him, smiling like an idiot. You wanted to enjoy this, but your head was killing you.

“Shawn, my head really hurts. I don’t think I shou-“ but you were cut short when you tripped on a loose cord on the floor.

Luckily, Shawn’s fast reaction allowed him to catch you before you hit the hard, cement floor.

“Y/n!” Shawn called, noticing your eyes had shut. “Honey, are you okay?” He shook your body in his arms, freaking out. You were out cold. “Y/n. Wake up, baby. What happened?” He shook you a little while longer before screaming for help.

“Somebody call an ambulance!”

You remembered coming to consciousness, your head pounding. You felt a weight on your chest, and you knew you were in the hospital, Shawn resting his head on you.

It took you a few minutes to open your eyes, and when you were able to, you realized Shawn was laying on a tube which seemed pretty important seeing as how it was the only thing you were connected to.

It took another few seconds before you were able to make a noise, but Shawn immediately bolted up, causing a little bit of relief as the fluids started to flow once again. His eyes were puffy and red, his hair a mess.

“Oh my god, Y/n. I’m so sorry bab-“

“Shawn,” you interrupted, wincing at your hoarse voice. “Can you call the nurse?”

“Yes. Of course.” Shawn stood up and pressed the button to call in a nurse. “Are you okay?”

You nodded your head, and the nurse was in before either of you could speak again.

“Hey, y/n.” She greeted. “I’m Christie, I’m one of your nurses.”

You greeted her before she explained what was going on.

“I’m going to check check on your hypodermoclysis real quick.” Shawn moved to the other side of your bed so the nurse could check the injection site on your chest. “You came in yesterday with severe malnutrition. Right now thi-“

“Yesterday?” You interrupted, your eyes widening. How long had you been out?

“Yes,” she nodded. “You were awake for a few minutes last night, but you were pretty groggy. You just needed some rest.”

You looked over at Shawn who had captured your hand in both of his, holding it up to his lips, and you noticed he was just staring at you, tears in his eyes.

“Should I continue?” The nurse asked.

You nodded in response, Shawn agreeing as well.

“When you came in, you were severely malnourished, dehydrated, and you were suffering from major sleep deprivation. You’ll be okay. Right now we have these fluids running through the tube and under your skin to provide artificial hydration and nutrition.”

“How much longer?” Shawn asked, causing you to turn back to him.

“We’ll keep checking the injection, but now that y/n’s awake, you can discharge whenever you’re comfortable.”

Shawn nodded, a faint smile finding its way to his lips.

“Thank you.” You spoke to Christie, who nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Y/n,” Shawn started. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you weren’t eating. If I had known any of this was happening, I would’ve sent you home.”

“Shawn, stop. It’s not your fault.” You tried to reason.

“But it is. You told me you didn’t feel well. You told me so many times and I ignored it. I told you you were homesick.“

“Shawn!” You interrupted again, not wanting him to blame himself. “It’s not your fault. I didn’t want to disappoint you, and I thought I could handle it.”

After a few seconds of silence, Shawn released his grip on your hand before placing one over your heart, opposite the needle taped in place on the other side. He ran his fingers smoothly up from your chest to your neck, stopping when he was cupping your cheek, smiling as you leaned into it.

“You’re so frail.” He choked out. “I should have noticed. I’m so sorry, honey.”

And that had you. You always hated when Shawn cried, because when he cried, so did you.

“It’s okay, Shawn. It’s okay.”

Shawn sat with you the rest of the day while you rested. You started with ice chips, and when you were ready, Shawn went to the store to get you some of your favorite foods. You needed to start eating again, but Shawn knew hospital food wasn’t something you’d enjoy.

He interacted with a few fans at the store, but he didn’t tell them about what was going on. Despite most things in his life, he wanted to keep this private.

When Shawn came back, you were on the phone with your mom. The three of you had decided that for the rest of your, you’d stay with your mom. She’d take care of you, make sure you were eating and resting. Shawn wanted nothing more than to go with you, but he had to finish tour.

You were discharged that evening, and Shawn accompanied you on a flight to your hometown where your mom would pick you up and take you home.

“Please, be safe.” Shawn spoke, both his hands in each of yours as you said goodbye in the airport.

“I will, Shawn. I promise.”

“I love you so much.” He leaned his forehead in to rest against yours.

“I love you too. More than you know.” You tilted your head, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

Shawn reciprocated, but his kiss was soft, almost as if he was afraid to break you. You hated that he felt that way, but it made sense.

After a long, tender hug, the two of you went your separate ways.

You were disappointed that you couldn’t finish this leg of Shawn’s tour with him, but both of you knew this break was for the best.

During the months on tour with Shawn, your motivation had been to keep good grades and keep Shawn happy. Now, your motivation was to take care of yourself as best as possible, and you figured that was probably the healthiest mindset to have.

A/N: Wow, I hate how I ended this. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

[softshawnrambles]

When Shawn Met Willow

We’ve worked on this beginning piece for a while now, and we are SO excited to introduce you to the family we’ve been dreaming up for months! Because we wanted to give you the whole picture in terms of how these two started, this one is extra long - we plan on writing shorter blurbs to continue this Family!Shawn theme, and will probably go back and elaborate on other parts of their life together… stay tuned, but for now: enjoy!

WORD COUNT: 6.1K

-

“Large Americano, ready at the bar!”

The coffee shop was as busy as could be expected of a rainy Monday morning. Willow hated the pushing and shoving that was absolutely unavoidable, as every person in the building waited for their drink. The artisan coffee house hadn’t caught onto the mobile ordering system, and she hated them for it.

She managed to make her way to the counter, but just as her hand reached for the paper cup, someone else beat her to it. Turning her head to face the person obstructing her saviour, she let out an “excuse me, sorry...” and withdrew, slightly in embarrassment.

“No, no, you’re good. It might be yours anyway… why aren’t they calling these out by name?” the man joked. She looked up, noticing the kind smile on his face (clearly not local, you’ve not known anyone to smile in this part of the city, especially not on Wall Street) and mustered a chuckle.

For a moment neither of them said anything, as if time froze - just a second - allowing their eyes to meet. As the barista impatiently called out the next drink, the man cleared his throat. His eyes wandered for a moment, then widened at something behind her - “fuck, it’s eight already? Uh - here, you can take this…” he said, ushering the cup toward her.

And with that, he was off.

Her eyes followed his rushing figure before rolling her eyes and taking the drink, nodding her thanks at the barista. Willow maneuvered her way out of the overly crowded place and took a long awaited drink, not yet ready to face another tedious day at her internship. As she lowered her cup, she noticed a scribble on the sleeve: “Sean,” next to a single “A” for Americano.

“Damn it,” she muttered with her shoulders slumping, wishing she had checked before he’d vanished into the crowd. For a tall guy, he blended in quickly.

Back upstairs in her little cubicle of hell, Willow was met with another day’s supply of merger and acquisition paperwork.

She let out an exasperated sigh.

“Dude, it’s not even nine yet. Lighten up!” Claudia pulled a pencil out of her hair, throwing it in Willow’s direction.

“Ow! Jesus, Claud.” she said, turning around to reach for the pencil. As she did, she glanced out the window and caught sight of a small crowd forming under the building.

“Huh. Do you know what that’s about?” Willow asked, motioning towards the group.

“If it’s not one of the Obamas, I’m not interested.” Typical Claudia, Willow thought and rolling her eyes at her colleague.

As the hour went by, the crowd continued to grow into a pretty substantial mob of mostly teenage girls. Maybe Harry Styles was in the building.

Willow refocused for a few hours, paying little attention to the happenings outside of her field of vision. At around noon, she got up to fetch her egg salad from the fridge when she noticed something - or rather, someone - downstairs with the mob. Was it that guy from this morning? He was leaning in every few seconds with each girl, taking… selfies? He definitely wasn't so lost in the crowd now.

-- one year later

A failed relationship with the top investment firm in New York City drove Willow as far away from the industry as she could go. Something about the harrowing reality of corporate America sent her running to the West Coast: she was not cut out to be a tycoon, no matter what her Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration & Economics said about her.

Sitting in her favourite coffee shop in Los Angeles, Willow intently studied her laptop with her camera sitting on one side of the table, and her freshly delivered Americano steaming on the other. The screen receiving her whole attention as she edits her photos from last nights Panic! At the Disco show at the Forum. She’d chosen a quieter area this time, wanting a little privacy and quiet as she worked, a change she’d needed from previous endeavors that hadn’t worked out the way she had planned.

“Panic! At the Disco? Is that from yesterday?” Willow turned around as someone clearly took notice of her work.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I was there!” Fuck. Why did he look so familiar?

“Amazing, wasn’t it?!” Willow tried not to stare, but tried to place him in her head. She swore she’d seen him before.

“Yeah, they always put on a good show! That’s an awesome picture! You work for the venue?” Leaning forward to observe her screen, in a slight awe.

“I do, I’m practically a part of the furniture at this point.” The man laughs, and with a small smile on his face comments “I know the feeling.”

“You work there too? I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere.” Her curiosity getting the better of her.

The man leaned back again as his smile widened a little, humbled by her question. “Mhm, I guess you could say that,” he replied.

The flash from a camera nearby interrupted the moment; it was coming from outside of the shop, the glare intensifying through the window.

“Shawn, we gotta go!” a desperate voice called out, and her new acquaintance turned to respond.

Then it clicked.

Shawn.

“I remember now! New York City last year. I owe you an Americano!” Willow was reminded of that day, and the pieces of the puzzle starting to fall together.

Shawn looks surprised, that was the last response he was expecting, when his eyes flash with a newfound recognition.

“Oh! That was you? Wow, that’s, wow. I did not expect that at all.” Shaking his head and pointing to the screen, “what brings you to-” Another flash through the window and the imposing man calls Shawn’s name again.

“You better go before he drags you out of here, he looks like he’s seriously contemplating that option,” she suggested, hyper-aware now of the men with large cameras relentlessly snapping pics of… Shawn?

“Wait, can I get your Insta? I'd love to see other things you've posted. You're clearly talented at this, and I live for live shows!”

“Uumm, ok, yeah, but I don’t always follow back though… it’s @actuallywillow, pretty simple really!”

“Thank you! I gotta go, if you're working the show at the forum on Friday, I might see you there!” And with that, Shawn turns and makes his way out the door and out into the hoard of men with intruding cameras.

“Um, okay?” Willow spoke in the direction of where Shawn once stood, slowly turning back to her laptop and shaking her head. This was not how she had expected today to turn out.

Iwishiplayedbass started following actuallywillow

Iwishiplayedbass liked your post

Iwishiplayedbass liked your post

Iwishiplayedbass liked your post

Iwishiplayedbass liked your post

Iwishiplayedbass sent you a message

Hey! Its Shawn, you have some serious talent in photography! I hope I see you again soon!

Hi! Thank you. There seems to be a trend growing with us, so I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.

Actuallywillow started following iwishiplayedbass

Anticipation for the show had Willow in quite a state. She was usually a calm young woman, but she had really worked herself into a fit of nerves over this. What were the chances of her even seeing Shawn anyway? In an arena that holds 17,500 people, ha! She checked over her equipment one last time before entering the familiar building through the side.

Once inside, she was greeted by posters and cardboard cut-outs of Shawn Mendes everywhere, complete with a fanbase of mostly 13 to 18 year old girls.

Willow’s contract with the Forum was unlike her past experiences on Wall Street; they let her do pretty much whatever she wanted as long as she consistently got great content during events. Not a problem, since she was a natural behind the camera. She roamed around for a while before the opening acts took their place, silently observing the crowd.

Was she really this out of touch with pop culture? How had she so gravely misunderstood this guy’s stardom? Probably because he seemed so down to earth during both of their coffee shop interactions - hell, she was surprised that a man this famous still bought his own coffee himself!

A few quick Google searches confirmed that Willow was not a dinosaur - Shawn’s career seemed to have exploded overnight. These Google searches also absolutely confirmed her growing interest in this handsome young man; there was just something about his smile. And his eyes, those eyes look special.

The house lights dimmed and the hollow sound of an electric guitar filled the indoor venue, tearing through her mental haze. Shit, she had a job to do.

Camera held against her body with one hand and her Forum Employee ID in the other, she flashed the security guards as she weaved her way to the front. Pure joy and excitement was pulsing through the walls of the arena, and the audience nearly went insane when a tall, unmistakable shadow appeared behind a layer of fog. While her heart was undoubtedly racing at the sight of him, Willow quickly aimed her Nikon at him, determined to snap some good shots.

Aside from the fact that Shawn was a total heartthrob, the concert ran smoothly. She noted that he was a great performer, high energy and clearly loving every bit of it. As the show was winding down, she felt the temperature of her body spike up as he bounded down the metal stairs leading down to the level of the crowd.

Fuck. He was right there. And coming closer. Fuck. Get your camera! Don’t mess this up! C’mon Willow! GET IT TOGETHER!

He was feet away from her, so close that she could see the sweat glistening off his dark curls in a beautiful, messy, well-entertained heap. She took the opportunity to click away at her camera, capturing his interactions with fans in the front rows as he hugged, smiled, and thanked each person individually. Willow watched and realized he had the it factor. He had the power to make every girl feel special.  The sincerity that radiated off him was like a sharp blow to the fantasies that she had subconsciously been entertaining all night  - the ones where she magically ends up with this rockstar, too much like a fanfiction written online. While a little voice in her head wanted to believe he was flirting with her yesterday, asking about her photography… she realized that was just the nature of his personality. It had to be.

Suddenly numb from the thoughts, the pictures became easier to take; the fire that was building in her chest a few minutes ago had been put out. He was inches away when she lowered the camera from her face. Another great image for the books. Wait, is he talking to her?

Willow leaned in - the deafening noise of the cheering and instruments was drowning everything out, even her own thoughts.

“WHAT???”

“Can you send me that picture?”

She smiled and nodded: he recognized her. Did he know she was there this entire time?

Shawn smiled back at her, eyes alight with excitement before turning back to the deafening crown. Willow needed a moment to breathe, how had this even happened? How had she not even known? Someone brushed past her, bringing her back to reality. She would have time to analyze later, and bought her camera up before he got too far away. She knew she was just given the photograph of a lifetime, how many other venue photographers got that close to someone like that, someone who she hadn’t even recognised!

With the show coming to a rapid close, Willow planned for a quick escape. She wasn’t sure she would be able to face him again, not in her slightly overwhelmed state. She snapped some final shots, his final moments on stage with his hands in the air and beaming smile on his face, the perfect set up for the perfect shot.

The house lights come up and Willow feels like she can breathe again. The air is stuffy and the energy is still electric, alive with adrenaline mixed with raw emotion that you just can’t find anywhere else. She takes her time heading back to her area, praying he had done the usual ‘leg it to the bus before the band was finished so they could leave the arena without having to maneuver through thousands of people’ thing the majority of stars do following a show and safely make it back to her area. What she didn’t expect was to find a message on her phone from the rockstar himself.

Iwishiplayedbass sent you a message

Hey! I’m really glad i saw you! That sounds creepier than it is, i’m sorry. But, what are you doing now? I’d love to see those photos, and I’d really love to see you. Please say yes? We could have some In n Out???? And just get to know each other?

-- 2 years later

Willow could tell Shawn was nervous. She could tell in the way his palm was sweating in hers, and the way he continuously muttered under his breath. It was also in the way he deflect everytime she asked ‘what’s wrong’ and ‘are you ok?’ with a tight smile that doesn't reach his eyes smile and a “yeah, I’m just ready to be home” before lifting the hand that is holding yours to kiss the back of it and dropping it to swing back and forth between the two of you.

Leaving the airport in Toronto was a hassle, Willow still couldn’t wrap her head around particular fans obsessive need to see Shawn for the few moments between the arrivals gate and the black car ready to pick him up right out front. Shawn’s on edge attitude was not helping the situation at all. The two were maneuvered through to the car with the help of some airport security and Shawn ushers Willow in first before sliding in next to her and taking her hand again. Shawn seemed less tense now, the only sign was his leg bouncing occasionally as he was chatting about random things he loved about tour but how happy he was to have some time off with her.

Pulling up to their condo, Shawn gets out of the car and pauses, pulling out his phone and fires off a quick text before helping Willow out of the car. Making it to the condo was a feat within itself, and Willow kind of hates just how much Shawn takes on tour when it time to bring it all home. Its mid-afternoon when they finally haul it all into their condo and all Willow wants is some food, a nap and cuddles with her favourite man on the couch and absolutely zero contact with the outside world for at least 3 solid days.

“Shall we order something? I’m starving and craving a pizza!” Willow called out from the bedroom, having changed into her Harry Potter PJ’s, only to not receive a response from Shawn at all. She makes her way to the living room calling out for Shawn again, confused.

“Shawn? Shawn! Are you ok? Please tell me you have not fallen asleep on the couch, you know what that does to your neck-”

Willow stopped suddenly and gasped at the sight before her. Many candles and fairy lights softly illuminated the open living room and an easel propped up against in front of the window overlooking the Toronto skyline with a large canvas filled with many photographs and memories leaning delicately against it. Looking around, Shawn was nowhere to be found as she stepped closer to the easel. Upon closer inspection, she found the page filled with an array of pictures and lyrics Shawn had written about you scrawled across various parts of the page. Willow raised her hand to touch her favourite lyrics with a soft smile on her face, before turning to find the man behind all of this. As she turned, she’s met with the sight of Shawn on one knee with a nervous smile gracing his face and a ring box resting closed in his hands.

Willow stepped forward to stand in front of him, tears gathering in her eyes and she raises her hand to cover her mouth.

“Hi, honey" Shawn says and inhales deeply and lets out a deep breath, letting his shoulders relax a little before continuing.

"I uh, I've been thinking about doing this for a while, and I know we've talked about it a few times, but I couldn't wait anymore and I've had the ring for a while - I'm rambling, sorry-” Shawn cut himself off, closing his eyes and taking another deep breath.

“I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want everything with you, absolutely everything. Please, will you spend the rest of your life with me? Willow, will you marry me?"

And Willow, with a wide smile and teary eyes, reaches to take his head in her hands and smoothing her thumbs over his cheeks.

"Yes. Yes of course I will. I would love nothing more. Oh my lord Shawn." And she kneels to his level, and kisses him deeply, putting as much love and happiness she could possibly muster into it.

Shawn pulls back first and opened his eyes, looking at her in utter adoration, almost unable to fathom the fact she had said yes. His right hand finding her left one that was still resting on his cheek and turning his face slightly to kiss her palm, before pulling it away to place the ring he'd bought her months ago on her finger, where it would sit for as long as they both shall live.

-- 1 year later

The warm summer air swept between the concrete pillars that lined the breezeway. Any moment now, Shawn and Willow would emerge from either side of the outdoor hall for their ‘First Look’ and exchange a few moments with each other alone, before the day’s ceremony. The rented estate stood still on the cliff of a La Jolla suburb, away from the hustle and bustle of the main beaches.

Shawn was standing exactly halfway down the stairs that lead to the building, facing the cliffs and awaiting his bride-to-be, hands folding and unfolding as the reality of the day set in. Connor and Josiah were there with him, all set up and ready to go for the photo-op.

“How are you feeling, Shawn?” Connor asks and focuses the camera on Shawn.

Shawn takes a deep breath and smiles, looking up from his feet and his hands pausing their nervous motions. “I’m nervous, but so happy. I’m getting emotional already. I can’t wait to see her though, she’s going to look so beautiful and I know I’m gonna cry. It’s funny, I go away for months at a time, yet I can barely stand to be away from her for 24 hours. Makes it easier though, knowing what we were apart for. Makes it that much more exciting.”

The white double doors on the south end slowly opened, and Willow stepped out adorning a pure white gown. The floral-embroidered bodice canopied over her chest, its leaf detailing working up to her collar bones as if they were straps. She picked up the vintage dress a few months earlier, while vacationing in Italy - err, while visiting Shawn during his last Europe tour.

Willow timidly walked out to a set of stairs facing the eastern courtyard, where her husband-to-be awaited, his broad shoulders facing her. He was acutely aware of her existence; he could feel Willow’s energy in the gravity of the atmosphere at any given moment - maybe this was a good indicator that they were meant to be. The gentle graze of her small hands cupping his eyes from behind eased his nerves instantly. The second her hands were on him, Shawn let out a sigh, and he felt as if he could breathe again. He knew he was being completely irrational, but all the thoughts of ‘she’s gonna leave’ and ‘what if she changed her mind’ were replaced with feeling her, right there behind him.

This part they had talked about a lot. The pair were almost more excited for this intimate briefing than the actual wedding. They knew exactly how they wanted it to play out, knowing everything was in safe hands with Connor and Josiah around to capture every special moment. Willow wanted to keep Shawn in suspense for a short amount of time while she posed behind him. After a few moments, she gave him the cue by gently tapping his shoulders.

“Okay lovely, you can turn around now.”

His heart rate spiked as he felt the well-anticipated tap, a feeling halfway between anxiety and euphoria coming over him as he dipped his head to turn behind him, shifting his body to match. All the air in his lungs escaped as he laid his eyes on the woman he was convinced was a goddess.

“Oh honey…” he let out under his breath as he bought his hands to his face after gazing lovingly at her, rubbing his eyes as if to make sure he was seeing correctly and to wipe the already welling tears in his eyes before he reached for Willow’s hands, carefully pulling her closer. “You are so beautiful” he finished, as if that wasn’t obvious enough already. He never wanted to look away from her; he was convinced that there was nothing else in the galaxy that he would rather look at. Ever. This was it. He wanted to continue standing there for all of eternity, taking in the sight of his bride - the most striking person on the planet. He took a few moments to study the soft curls tucked behind her ear, the beaming smile he fell in love with lighting her whole face up. Shawn closed the small gap between them and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her into a hug, and kissing her square on the lips.

“Shawn! You can’t kiss me yet!” Willow exclaims with a laugh, indicating she wasn’t really mad at him.

“I can’t help it! You just look so gorgeous,” he defended himself, not ashamed in the slightest. He carefully steps back, wanting to take all of her in.

The delicate bouquet rested in Willow’s hands, small with pretty pink and white flowers and vibrant green leaves tied with a white ribbon and finished with a neat bow. A matching boutonniere adorned Shawn’s suit jacket, right above his heart.

“Shawn, you look…” and Willow paused, contemplating for a moment as she took all of him and raised her hand to his cheek “... perfect.” She sucked in a small breath before letting go into a lighthearted chuckle. “Hubba-hubba, handsome. How did I get so lucky?”

She let go of his face for a moment to dramatically fan herself with her free hand, not once breaking eye contact. “Seriously, you are a freaking stud. I’m so nervous Shawn, can you tell? Phew. I’m freaking smitten with you though.” She laughed, feeling her body tingle with buzz as she internalized the moment. Her candor and humor in the most serious of moments reminded him why he wanted her to be his partner for life. For better or for worse, they would get through it together in high spirits.

Willow was absolutely correct: what a stud he was. Dressed in a sleek black suit that fitted him just right, a nicely pressed white shirt, black vest, a pale pink bowtie and finished off with a silver handkerchief tucked neatly into his top pocket. His hair was longer, curlier than ever having soaked up plenty of vitamin D from the summer sun. Willow fought the childish urge to run her hands through it. His cheeks were shaded pink, a lovely contrast to the sleek black and white look he had going on and his eyes were wide and bright, looking directly at her, not wanting to miss a single moment.

“Do you love it?” Willow asked, gesturing to her dress.

“I love it, I love it, I love it. You look so beautiful, you’re gorgeous. I’m so glad you said yes, I’m so glad I met you. You mean the world to me. And I never want you to take this dress off. It highlights everything I love about you.” Shawn nearly choked, his throat closing up and tears pooling in his eyes and he pulled Willow to him again, head nuzzled into her neck, placing light kisses and whispering softly to each other as Willow’s arms make their way over his shoulders, sharing a moment of solitude as the overwhelming feeling of love washed over them. Neither of them could truly believe this was happening.

“This is our wedding day! We’re getting married!”

“I’m so excited!”

“So am I!” Willow giggled, her hands running up and down his arms, completely unable to resist touching him.

“Do you wanna go get married?” Willow asked her husband-to-be.

“Yeah, let’s marry the heck out of each other.”

-- 1 year later

There’s something special about Saturday morning. Nothing exquisite, nothing especially extraordinary - yet every Saturday morning with Shawn and Willow was still special. Late breakfast, usually involving the two of them in the kitchen fixing up a new dish they scrolled past on a nutritional instagram account during the week. Granted, their attempts usually took three times the amount of time as suggested by the minute long clips, and never turned out quite as colorful or delicious. Nevertheless, the routine was comfortable; Saturday mornings felt like the embodiment of home.

This particular Saturday morning in early spring was special-special… Willow had left out a stack of insurance pamphlets that she had been looking into. The pair had gone over this sort of thing before, earthquake and flood insurance for their abode in California, top-tier health and dental insurance overall.

“Honey, what is this about? Life insurance? I know I’m not like, the greatest… adult ever, but aren’t we a little young to be thinking about this? I mean really, who is going to benefit from life insurance if we die in some freak accident? Buddy?” Shawn questioned, motioning toward the cocker spaniel sitting on the floor under him.

“Well, our family is growing, Shawn. We’ve gotta be prepared! Plus, why not do it now? Saves us doing it in the future, don’t you think?” Willow throws out casually, knowing exactly what she implied. She looks up at him from her position across from him at the kitchen island to see him sitting rigid and staring straight at her, mouth slightly agape, mid-bite of his cereal. He looked comical, and Willow couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“What do you think I’m saying, Shawn?”

“That- that you’re…” Shawn pauses, and Willow raises her eyebrow and smiles, examining his face “...pregnant?” Shawn mumbles the word, his mind still not fully comprehending the concept.

Willow nods her head and brings one shaking hand up to her mouth, and the other squeezed her abdomen a little. She’d know for a little over a week now and had this moment planned. Now she was here, finally telling him and watching his reaction. It was real now. So, so real.

Shawn moved suddenly, dropping his spoon on the marble. He raced over to her, picking her up and swinging her around, tears falling from his eyes, his face twisted up in happiness.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Honey are you serious? We’re having a baby?”

“Well, I’m having a baby, but yeah, you’re gonna be a daddy.”

The looks of pure joy were all over their faces, Shawn still holding her at his eye level and Willows hands found his cheeks, her thumbs moving to wipe the tears away. The overwhelming emotions shared between them needed no more words, their eyes saying more than could possibly be said out loud. Shawn slowly moved to the couch in the conjoining living room and gently placed her down, using more caution than ever before. He knelt in front of her, moving his hands to her belly and resting his head against her thighs, shoulders shaking as he let out a few more tears as Willow’s hands find his hair, softly massaging his scalp and laughing. A beautiful moment between the parents-to-be.

-- 8 months later

‘Baaaaby! Come stretch me out!” Willow was laying on the floor of the new nursery, her belly so big she couldn’t see her feet. Shawn appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, walking over to pick her swollen feet up like clockwork. Especially in the last 10 weeks or so, Shawn’s main role in Willow’s life was as none other than her resident massage therapist and yoga partner - she was already amassing a list of pregnancy superstitions and quirks to ensure that her pregnancy would be as easy as possible. Shawn tried to point out that most of the things on her list were not rooted in any kind of science, but he knew not to do that again. He learned that it was best to just go with it.

With both her legs now in the air, as high as her body would allow her to go, Shawn stood in between them, pulling and pushing them in different directions. Willow was sure that flexibility was the key to a flawless natural birth. She tried to convince her husband to entertain the idea of a home birth, complete with a doula and everything… but Shawn was visibly uncomfortable with the idea. She wanted to be able to say she’d done it the old-fashioned way, but this was her first go around. She finally agreed that an epidural would probably be nice.

Suddenly, Willow could see a crinkle appear between Shawn’s eyebrows, as if he was squinting at something. Panic came over her as he continued to knead at the bottom of her feet, still in the air. “Wait, what is it? What’s the matter?” She questioned.

His intention was not to cause her any undue anxiety, but Shawn had noticed a growing darker spot in Willow’s lavender maternity leggings. It looked… damp. Did her water break? But… if that was the case, surely she would’ve noticed by now, right?

“Um… I’m sure it’s nothing. Are you feeling… different at all, love?” Then it hit. The first contraction.

Just as he asked the question, Willow rolled her head up and back into the carpeting, squeezing her eyes as tightly as she could. “Oh my god. I think that was a contraction!” she squealed, enduring what almost felt like a reverse-period cramp for a few seconds.

As she steadied her breathing, Shawn’s eyes widened and he set Willow’s legs down. “ACTIVE LABOR. CONTRACTIONS  MEAN WE’RE IN ACTIVE LABOR!” He had studied four books on the whole birthing situation alone, and Willow couldn’t help but giggle to herself as she was sure that his last sentence came directly from the text. Shawn was so calculating, so methodical about the whole thing.

“Okay, not to alarm you or anything sweetie, but I think your water just broke - STAY THERE. I’m going to call the hospital and get your overnight bag. DON’T GO ANYWHERE, PLEASE.” He was rambling on at 100 words a minute, scrambling to find hospital records, the checklists he had prepared for this moment, and his phone. Willow laid out on the floor, surprisingly calm. Did he just tell me not to go anywhere? Where the hell would I even go? How the hell am I supposed to even get up and off the floor by myself? Willow rolled her eyes, deciding to move when Shawn was ready to leave. She had a feeling it would be a long day.

The drive to the hospital was short, Shawn having mapped out the shortest and most effective route months ago. At the time, Willow had thought it was slightly overdoing it, but she was suddenly very appreciative that he’d put the effort into it. Willow was hunched over her belly, rubbing circles with her hands in an attempt to soothe the pain. Shawn had both hands on the wheel, focusing on getting there as safely as possible while instructing her to breathe.

“Breathe, honey, we’re nearly there, I promise we’re nearly there.”

“Shawn, please, I am breathing, I need you to breathe, ok? Breathe.”

“Ok ok. Honey?”

“Yes, Shawn?”

“I’m kinda freaking out.” Shawn mumbles, brain going crazy over the fact that their little baby would be here soon.

“I know, I can tell. I am too. UGH-” Willow exclaims, hunching over again.

“We’re here, we’re here, we made it, its ok honey.” Shawn pulls into the hospital car park, pulling into the closest available spot.

Shawn legs it to the passenger side, unbuckling her seatbelt and helping her stand, one arm around her middle, the other shutting the door and grabbing her hand, cautiously guiding her forward.  

Willow rests sleepily on the hospital bed, sweaty and exhausted after 10 long hours of labour the first Mendes child had arrived. The new parents had been given a brief chance to see their newborn, Willow holding their lil bug for just a minute, before the nurses insist they clean the newborn up.

Willow looks tiredly up at Shawn, who had held her hand and talked to her the entire time, letting out a quiet “We have a baby.”

“We do. We have a baby. Oh, you were so amazing, I swear, you just, you had a baby. I love you, I’m so proud of you. You only nearly broke my hand like, 7 times!” Shawn giggles lightly, and leans down to kiss her nose, then her lips, resting there and squeezing her hand.

“Oh, could you ever forgive me?” Willow asks dramatically with a grin, when her expression becomes wistful. “... so small, I miss my bug already.”

“I know honey, they’ll be back in a minute. I love you.”

“I love you too Shawn. We’ll have to call our parents soon. Surprise them with the news their first grandchild is finally here.”

“My mum is gonna yell at me for not calling sooner.” A mischievous smile crosses his face at the thought, so grateful they hadn’t been spotted entering the hospital, allowing for a complete surprise on their behalf.  

“They’re all going to be so mad, but we’ll show them a picture and they’ll forget all about it. They’ll be so distracted and excited that we’ll be the last thing on their minds!”

At that moment, the nurse walked back into the room holding their little bundle.

“Here you go, all clean and healthy. Who wants the first hold?” the nurse spoke, looking expectantly between the pair. Shawn and Willow shared a look, before Willow gestured to Shawn.

“You’re up first, daddy.”

Shawns eyes glass over, squeezing Willows hand once more quietly asking “are you sure?”

“Yeah handsome, go”

And with that, Shawn stepped forward to take their baby in his arms. The nurse carefully guiding him, positioning the baby into his arms, and letting their bug nestle into his arms. Shawn stared, absolutely enchanted and unable to look anywhere else. He needed to sit down. Beginning to walk slowly to the bedside chair, Willow softly stopped him, and gestured to the gap on the bed beside her. Taking a seat beside her as delicately as possible to not disturb the resting baby.

“So pure, we made that. I can't believe we made this… life." Shawn was smitten already, he knew he'd do literally anything for his baby. Their baby.

"I- I know. We were talking about how big my belly was, but look how small bubs is. I'm in love all over again." Willow was just as enamored as Shawn, resting her head on his shoulder, giving her a perfect view. "I'm so happy. I love you."

Shawn kissed her forehead, murmuring "I love you too, you're so strong. Do you, do you wanna hold?"

Willow hummed in response, shuffling slightly so she could lie back comfortably before carefully taking the bubs in her arms, resting her on her chest, then, with Shawn's help,  slowly lowering to the bed. Willow had one hand resting on the bubs' back, her other holding the small hand, gently soothing her thumb backwards and forwards across the soft skin as Shawn's hand comes up to cup his baby girls face.

"Welcome to the world, Harlow Mendes."

[niallsfoolsgold]

The Whole World

Based loosely on this prompt.

(not my gif!)

a/n: I switched it to 3rd person whilst writing so if theirs any “you”’s instead of “her”’s or “she”’s I’m really sorry 

summary: shawn is seen with his ex and you can’t help but get jealous, even though you two aren’t “official”.

warning: a bit of an argument), swearing, mentions of cheating, a little angst, fluffy ending, unedited

“Fuck,” she yelled out, tugging on the roots of her hair. Pacing around wasn’t doing her justice in calming down—and in all honesty neither was yelling out profanity that satan himself would flinch at, but it was the only thing helping her at least a little bit. Harry Potter (she wasn’t sure which one it was yet because she joined watching during an advertisement) blared loudly from the mounted tv on her apartment’s wall but she wasn’t paying any attention to it anymore. She was too upset at the one person she had let manage to push their way into her life, and perhaps even her heart.

When they first attended that stupidly loud new years eve party in Toronto, she was reluctant to even speak to him at first. He was famous, and she was anything but, which meant it was a bit intimidating. But nevertheless, she still stuck up conversation with the international pop star that had curly brown hair and some of the most beautiful eyes she had ever witnessed. As if his gorgeous looks weren’t enough to lure her in, after they both started talking, she realized his personality was just as gorgeous. It almost sickened he--how perfect he was--but in a good way. She often wondered why there weren’t more people like him in the world.

Any time they were ever in the same room together it was hard not to stare. They called each other “just friends” for almost ten months—therefore, this “relationship” thing was fairly new, but they both knew it was what they both wanted. The consistent flirting and winking from across the room was hard to contain, and every one around them knew that there was no way there wasn’t something going on between the two of them. Even a moron would be able to figure it out. She wasn’t sure how strong her feelings were for him, but they had to be decently strong for them to be as close as they were with each other.

Letting people in wasn’t a normal thing for her. She was the closed off kind—sweet and charming, easy to talk to, but she let little information out about herself. Curious but confined is how her few closest friends described it. They were right too. A messy breakup with her now ex was the cause of it all. He caused her so much emotional damage in one year in which they were together, her friends applauded her for how well she carried herself throughout it all. She was just an emotionally closed off person naturally--she had always liked keeping to herself--but that relationship made it ten times more intense. Shawn had managed to push his way through the chained up doors, and then he burned them, also setting her heart on fire with admiration for him as well.

Although now, his perfect personality and charming good looks were the last thing about him that were on her mind. Instead, she was plotting how exactly she would ignore him for the next days, weeks, months, maybe even years. What he had done this time had sent her over the damn edge and she would be pissed if she ever let it happen to herself again--especially if it was from the same guy. She knew that she should at least call him and talk before she went and assumed things—but she really didn’t want to because in her opinion, no queen should apologize for doing (almost) nothing wrong. Maybe that was the wrong mindset to have, but she didn’t really give one shit at this point. It was too late to stop being angry until he gave her an explanation as to why he was seen hanging out with his ex yet again for the fourth time this month alone. Even though he didn’t necessarily owe her one--an explanation that is--and she knew that as well, but she was ignoring a lot of things that she already knew at this point. He didn’t owe her anything, not even shit. Hell, they weren’t even technically official because neither of them had asked the other out, just admitted a mutual liking and then went on to lazily makeout in his kind sized bed for the next two hours--but she was still heartbroken. Even though she didn’t get the mental damage that she received during her last breakup and relationship, she still felt more sad than she had ever felt in her entire existence.

***

She ended up ignoring Shawn’s messages, calls, and his many, many face time calls, and there was absolutely no way he didn’t notice. She tried to do it somewhat subtly, telling him that she was busy in the mornings and tired at night--in reality, she was probably just lying in her bed and watching reruns of her favorite shows on tv. At first he figured that she was just in one of her odd moods where she wanted alone time and didn’t want to talk to anyone. It was a normal thing to happen to her, and he knew that, he was perfectly fine with it because he had been through the same thing before. But after about five days, he realized that this was not one of her “funks”--she was simply upset with him and he wanted nothing more than to figure out why. That led him to calling her close friends, but they were loyal as fuck and told him to ask her instead. Some even went as far as to hang up before he could get in another word.

Today was no excuse for the ignoring. He had tried to call her earlier, but she hit the decline button all three times before he finally gave up. He switched to texts instead, sending her about sixteen messages asking her to call him back. Of course she played coy and replied with nothing... just busy at work. The texts stopped after that and she was thankful that he was finally letting her pity herself again.

She was “busy” watching Friends--specifically the one where Monica and Chandler sneak around behind everyone else’s backs, but Rachel and Phoebe find out from Joey. It had just gotten to the scene in which Chandler declares his love for Monica. She had just reached maximum comfort. Three blankets were piled on top of her, a large bowl of popcorn was by her side along with a glass filled with sweet tea, pillows surrounding her every corner, and her fluffy white cat, Sargent Flufferton (he was named by her niece), was cuddled into her side.

“Do not listen to what Chandler is saying, Sarge,” she say to her cat. “guys don’t know shit about proclaiming their love to you like that.” Flufferton paid her no attention, but it felt nice to assume someone was listening to her when she mumbled weird things to herself. There’s a knock at her door, which she groans at because she didn’t want to leave the comfort of her white sectional, but nevertheless, she pushed herself up. “Most guys can’t even stay away from their ex like they should,” she starts mumbling again while walking towards the door, “especially when they know that their ex is only using them for publicity and attention.”

Her eyes widened substantially when she sees Shawn standing in the hallway of her apartment complex, soaked from what was most likely the rain outside. He looks at her through the curls that had fallen down on his forehead. “Why are you ignoring me?” His breathing is uneven, which means he either ran up the stairs because the elevator in the building was taking too long like it usually did, or he was pissed--maybe it was both. 

She wasn’t sure how to respond. Shawn was supposed to be in London right now, and she was almost certain that she had been living in Toronto, not London. “What the hell are you doing here? You have a show in London tomorrow, Shawn.” She speaks, finally. And although she wanted to keep being pissed at him, the of his face and him in person made it almost completely impossible. He keeps staring at her with the same look written all over his face: hurt mixed with confusion. 

“What do you mean ‘what are you doing here’? I’m trying to figure out why the fuck you haven’t had a real conversation with me in a week and a half. I’m trying to figure out why the rest of your friends won’t let me know either,” he says. He seemed a bit hostile, which she expected him to be, but it made her upset at herself that she was the cause of him getting upset, and at her nonetheless. 

She swallows, unsure of what to do next, pushing back the stray hair that has fallen in front of her face and tucking it behind her ear. She didn’t dare make eye contact with him, not now at least. She was quite certain that if she did she would break down in tears and beg for his forgiveness. And even though part of her was willing to do that, the other part of her was way too stubborn to do so. She didn’t think she would ever allow herself to do that for anyone or anything. “I’m not ignoring you,” she says quietly. She could almost feel his eyes softening on her, but she still didn’t look up. He takes half a step forward towards her reaching out as if he was going to cup her face and pull her in even more, both emotionally and physically. But instead, he drops his hand, not wanting to pass the boundaries that he knows he’s probably already passed just by showing up when he knew she was upset. 

“You can come in,” she pauses, “if you want to, that is.” She walks into her living room with him following and sits down on her couch, a frown evident on her face as she stares off into space. She tries to ignore his presence even though he’s standing directly in front of her and only three feet away. She’s doing her best not to let the water woks start flowing, cause dammit, she’s an emotional wreck of a human. She’s been ignoring this guy that she’s so into she doesn’t even know how she’s managed to not talk to him for as long as she has. It was absolute torture without the constant texting throughout the day, and the facetime calls at night that lasted until one of them fell asleep.

“Baby, could you please just tell me why you’re pissed, and then everything will be okay again?” He says, leaning down in front of her on his knees. he was trying to get eye contact with her so that he knew she was listening, but she stood up, pulling at the roots of her hair and pacing around--something she clearly did a lot when she was upset--before turning to face him again.

“I’m not pissed at you, I’m mainly just pissed at myself because I’ve been pissed at you when I shouldn’t have been,” she quietly speaks. The shaggy white rug that was placed on her fake hardwood floors suddenly became very interesting to her. She couldn’t help but stand and start pacing around her living room. “I-jus-I don’t even know, Shawn. But I feel even worse because you flew all the way back here from fucking London just because I was upset. You have a show in two days, and you came all the way back because I haven’t been talking to you for the most stupid and petty reasons.” Her voice was still as soft as silk. He knew simply from the softness that she was actually mad at herself. She was self-conscience enough as is, and the fact that she was beating herself up over being upset at him when even he knew she (probably) had every right to be upset caused him so much heartache. Tears began running down her face and that was hen Shawn knew that even though she might not want him to hold her right now, he needed to hold her right now.

He stands up and walks over to her shaking body, taking hold of her wrists and pulling her close. She let him pull her close and hold her. Even though this had been the most drama filled experience of her life--and she really hoped it’d be the only one to reach this extent--she was still so incredibly into this greek god of a guy that she had met hardly a year ago. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close, resting his head on top if hers while she calmed herself with her head tucked into his shoulder. He held her just about as tight as he ever had before. It was almost suffocating but she didn’t really care at this point. She knew he needed this, and so did she. She had missed his touch as much as he missed his. 

“It’s cause I was put with her, yeah?” he paused, waiting for her to respond, but she didn’t. “Can you please tell me if I’m right or not? If you don’t I’m gonna be confused for a really long time over this.” She laughs lightly, pulling away to get a better look at his face that she knew would carry a confused expression. He wipes her fallen tears from beneath her eyes and looks at her with seriousness.

“When you put it like that, I sound a jealous bitch,” she pauses, trying to avoid looking him in the eyes again, “which I have been. But I’m more pissed at myself because I shouldn’t be jealous. We aren’t even together, I’m just bitchy.” She had never seen his eyes hold that much confusion at one point in the year of them knowing each other.

“Woah, who said we aren’t together? I know I haven’t formally asked you out or anything but I think you should know that I very much consider us to be ‘together’. You may not have noticed this yet, but I kinda sorta like you a hell of a lot,” he tells her.

She offers an incredibly small smile, but she still has her doubts, as most people do when they see the person they like with their ex. “Why have you been with her though?” She feels small when she speaks. Her voice is quiet and soft. She really doesn’t want to make things worse than they already were. “It’s not just the times last week. It was the times last month, and the month before, and even the month before that. And on top of that, she’s this gorgeous model that I would go for in a heartbeat. She can handle the press and the fans, but I can’t. I know that it’s probably just for publicity but-”

“Honey, that is all it’s for. That’s it, that’s all it is,” he interrupts. He wipes the new tears that had fallen from her eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of her forehead. “She’s just using me and my fanbase to get more attention on her clothing line or whatever with Calvin Klein, but it’s all over with now, I promise, for good.

“Besides,” he pauses, “why would I go for her when I can fit the entire world in my hands?”

She furrows her eye rows together and quints her eyes at him like he’s insane. “What are you talking about? That’s impossible, you idiot.” He steps forward--their chests are now pressed up against one another, an amused look in his eyes while a small smile graces his lips, while she’s still holding the same confused look in her eyes and a small pout over her mouth--and he cups her face in his hands. Her face instantly heats up, her cheeks turning a darker shade of pink than they already were from the cold, and she wants nothing more than to dig a hole to hide in. He finds her absolutely adorable and wants to press kisses all over her cute face that he would stare at for hours if given the option.

She pushes his hands off her face by his wrists, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. ‘”Shut up,” she mumbles, taking his hands in her before looking at him in the eye again, “I have a reputation.”

He smiles down at her before pressing kisses against her forehead, both of her cheeks, her nose, her chin, and lastly--after she had let out a whine of complaints about wanting to kiss him--he presses a kiss against her lips. They both think a quick and unspoken “thank you” to the universe for allowing them to finally have everything solved, and to be back in each other’s arms.