her-praesul

[fooltofancy]

had the longest, most honest conversation about belief with my dad today and on the one hand god is it exhausting because they've gone to such an insane place christianitywise, but also? the fuckin growth this man has gone through just to be able to have that conversation is so. it's not comforting, but god is it something to be able to have that conversation period without shouting and tears and just. walking away from it so unfulfilled every time.

[obsidianpen]

Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.

(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ❤️

I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???

oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.

So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.

however.

I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.

however.

I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.

however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?

then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.

so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.

phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.

[diaphin93]

The worst is that those Edelgard haters are bigoted ( misogyny is a very important part of it, but there's also so much casual racism, ableism and queerphobia, but I'm sure you've seen this better than I did :/ ) but they often believe themselves to not be, and so many of them try to make them like they're actually the one fighting bigotry.

For example, Edelgard has the biggest queer fanbase out of all the house leader and appear outside of the fire emblem fandom in sapphic online space ( hell she even had an irl drag performance ). But they can't really acknowledge that, because that would make them look bad.

So they pretend that actually the huge majority of Edelgard fan are straight men... But to pretend that, they have to play with reality. Edeleth is getting reposted really often in yuri reddit community ? That's because those community are actually all straight men fetishizing wlw. Edelgard is the only canonical bi lord? That's because they wanted to attract those straight men fetishizing wlw, so it's actually terrible male-gazey represention. Edelgard fanfiction are by the HUGE majority written by sapphic women? They'll conveniently only attack the one man that got his F!Edeleth fanfic popular. That guy actually has mostly sapphic and often trans reader? They don't mention it. He often talk about his own queer headcanon or analysis himself? They'll make shitty post on how those hcs or analysis are actually queerphobic.

And that's the same for sexism, racism and ableism. Edelgard is a character made for white straight men, so she's bad for minorities despite her own traits diverging from the norm: she's an acceptable target when you pretend to be against bigotry. Her fans are all white straight men, so they're acceptable target when you pretend to be against bigotry. ( And funnily enough, they never acknowledge when a non-negligible part of the fandom they're in, like Dimitri and Rhea, are full of straight white men )

But that's the problem, the huge logical issues they try so hard to bury, is that we're not actually white straight men. It's so alienating to have them talk about the bad white straight fans of Edelgard, while at the interacting with people like us. Like, did any of your detractors even ever genuinely acknowledged when you, a woman, accused them of incel like behavior without immediately scoffing at the accusation? Did they ever acknowledge that uncomfortable place of minorities in the Edelgard discourse, like they do so often with Rhea or Dimitri to portray themselves as fighter against bigotry?

They erase minorities in the fandom, but they pretend to fight for them.

And the worst is that they don't even really fight against bigotry in the fandom at all. There's so many racist, queerphobe, ableist, misogynist in part of the fandom like the Blue Lions. Hell some of them are very openly conservative or far-right! But they'll never attack those.

Even in the Edelgard community, where we do have small group of vocal straight white bigoted men like in Reddit... They don't actually do anything to them! Those guys are often just as busy fighting F!Edeleth and sapphic women in the community as they are engaged in the discourse. And the Edelgard haters, well, they don't like F!Edeleth and honestly they don't like sapphic women who like Edelgard either, so they have no interest in fighting them. Because they don't actually care about bigotry, they just want to shit on the character they dislike, not so rarely for bigoted reason on their own.

Hey, thanks for the message and sorry that I'm replying so late, started to write this up and then got distracted alot. And I feel you. I think many aspects of this whole Edelgard discourse and fandom Drama surrounding it are very symptomatic with issues in fandom in general, that can often be very hostile towards lesbians and sapphics in particular, due to the strong androcentrism that is visible across Fandoms. I think FE3H in this way represents somewhat of a microcosm of Fandom in on itself, due to the fact that Edelgard early on established herself as a fav of Sapphic and Yuri-centric communities inside Fandom, her most favored ships being w/w with m/w ships always being somewhat of a niche.

Like, Edelgards strong presence in the fandom as well as the preference of sapphic relationships surrounding her is quite an anomaly inside fandom which isn't very often seen and in my opinion the result of a perfect storm. I think what partially plays into it is probably t he way 3 Houses is structured, with the eponymous 3 Houses front and center and a chose your own Lord approach, which creats very much a faction system with this game and with it, encourages the development of communities centered around supporting their chosen Lord and House inside the broader fandom of 3 Houses. And the Black Eagles are just perfectly set up to draw out a strong sapphic and yuri fanbase for itself. There is naturally Edelgard as the central female Lord of the game herself, but I think what cemented it is having Dorothea next to her. Both of them are not only part of the, sadly rather small, cast of confirmed and unambigiously canonical queer characters with the ability to marry either Byleth, they also are themselves written in a way that would naturally draw sapphic audiences. Edelgard alone already fits right into typical tastes of both sapphic audiences and the more decicated fandom, being a canonically queer woman who serves as the central protagonist of her playable route and not only subverts traditional writing with her dominant, brunt and guarded personality, but also acts as a morally nuanced character with motivations strongly centered around the revolution against an oppressive religious institution and a heavy hitting backstory centered around themes of loss of abuse, loss of bodily autonomy and societal vilification. It doesn't hurt that her initial students uniform also strongly invokes an association to Utena if you look at her, even if it may happen unconsciously, who stands as one of the definitive icons of queer women and sapphic centric story telling inside japanese media. Her role is also close to the villainess genre, which is highly centered around a critical lense on the way female character usually are vilified and reclaiming them as empowered feminist symbols, often through the heroine subverting the predetermined narrative that sets them up against each other and chosing female solidarity and companionship with the villainess, which is basically the plot of the Black Eagles Route. The Narrative tries you to force siding against Edelgard and only through claiming authority and deepening their bond to Edelgard, can they defy it and side with her. With Dorothea, we probably have the most feminist character in the history of Fire Emblem, whose themes center highly around objectification and misogyny she faced in what hs implicitely a clearly patriachal society.

Both of them also have strong supports with the other two female members of the Black Eagles, whose personal themes go deep into patriachal abuse, misogyny and anxiety as well as xenophobia, imperialism and the loss of autonomy, both on a personal and national level. Them having these strong bonds with other women, but also female characters outside the Black Eagles, like Edelgard with Lysithea and Dorothea through their shared Paralogie with Ingrid, even if the laters support line is sadly cut short, creats an in short ideal set up a strong w/w centric community around the Black Eagles. With the Black Lions, with its extreme androcentrism, focus on male bonds and traditional Bishonen Design, drawing the traditional Yaoi but also het crowd, we have also a male supporting class who have strong queer subtext with each other, while also drawing in more non-conventional m/m shippers. Especially Ferdibert, due to Huberts more striking non-Bishonen features.

Sorry for the deranged long tangent and going so much offtopic, but I think it was interesting to go a bit into the factors that in my opinion lead to Edelgard and the Black Eagles having an by far above average w/w representation and appeal against the typical trend we see in more general non-female or sapphic centered media. And honestly, I think this is part of where the hatred comes from, because Edelgard and the Black Eagles just tick every box, but in a game that also features your typical straight white heterosexual with yaoi-bait possible Protagonist that draws Fandom attention, to which she stands in opposition. So it invokes hostility and ire, because it ultimately reveals the very centrist to conservative milktoast comforts of Fandoms that try to present themselves as bastions of progressive values and queer representation, when alot of m/m is less than an authentic representation of queerness and most often written around the comfort and gratification of a mostly cishet and in the case of western fandom also very white audience (look at how for example the m/m fandom on the Blue Lions side shuns Dimidue in favor of Dimilix, despite a much more tender relationship that can be read as romantic by the former). So they need to recontextualize Edelgard and her Fandom as actually not queer, as rightwing and reactionary but also engaging in the tactic of it being at one hand oppressively powerful and hostile but on the other hand also a niche delusional group that misreads the entire story. It is all to justify their own more conservative or centrist comfort zones and androcentrism, against a queer feminist Icon.

Though I think especially on Tumblr, what also goes into it is this need to recontextualize fandom into activism. We see this alot with m/m fandoms for example, where, what is male on male stories written not for a queer audience but for cishetero female consumption first and foremost, is treated as the forefront of gay activism. I mean, we saw it with the whole SuleMio vs Destiel Drama here, didn't we? Where bitter Destiel fans expressed the view that their Supernatural ship was actually a major influence in the push for queer representation and acceptance, up to claiming yuri gundam from japan owes everything to some male-centered buffy rip-off that featured less explicit queer representation than its predecessor did at the turn of the millenium. In 3 Houses, we also see this as treating opposition to Edelgard as some form of activism, framing her goals as imperialist or outright colonialist in nature and making the divine whiter than white dragon people who are the immortal progeny of a dragon goddess into a representation of every real marginalized ethnic group on earth...in a game that eschews racial allegories in favor of actually depicting xenophobia, colonialism and genocide against human PoC characters. Many of these arguments actually reveal how Edelgards detractors are basically just performative progressive activists focussing their advocacy on wars against fictional european-inspired powers inside a game, while also clearly just repeating leftist words that they picked up without an understanding of their contemporary political context. Again offtopic, but using terms such as imperialism in its contemporary political context or even worse, colonialism, for wars of conquest and ideals between fictional nations inspired by medieval european kingdoms and empires is asinine.

As you also hinted at Captain Flash, I think there is also a hugh double standart towards male yuri fans which bothers me. First off is blanked hostility and accusations of fetishization towards these groups always linked by transphobic collateral, due to how many closeted sapphic transfems first explore their identity and sexuality through the safe confines of w/w fiction and especially Yuri and this kind of rhetoric will inevitably damage eggs. Secondly is it hypocritical as it often comes from white cisheterosexual women who center their media consumption around the blatant objectification and fetishization of male queerness, with the Yaoi Genre having a shit ton of homophobic, heteronormative, misogynist and transphobic baggage. It also shows a clear lack of knowledge and insight into the culture surrounding Yuri in general, with these kinds of detractors usually projecting issues inside the yaoi community onto yuri. Yuri, as a genre, just never had a split between male and female creators that queer male japanese fiction had, which was traditionally seperated into the female dominated yaoi and the male lead bara or gay comics genre. Sapphic women were always a driving presence both as creators and consumers of the Yuri genre and are very well capable of policing fandoms against fetishizing misogynistic influences. It doesn't even fit into consumption trends, gooners, to name them very bluntly, don't engage with fanfiction, yuri asa broader yuri or shipping discourse, they are much more pragmatic in getting off and just straight up jump into porn.

I think its especially nefarious if we look at the queer community surrounding Edelgard. I mean, Monica at this point could be a transbian icon, because I have seen so many trans women strongly identify with her and build their fandom identity around her, because they can immerse themselves so deeply into her love and appreciation for Edelgard due to her being such an important comfort character for them. Edelgards most passionate fans are often also among the most vulnerable people inside this fandom, who feel inspired and comforted by her. Hell, even Captain Flash, who is often heavily slandered by Edelcritical crowds for the crime of writing a f!Edeleth fanfic often expressed in his authors notes how important and comforting Edelgard is to him, due to his own history of trauma and health issues.

Though I will also say, I'm against the idea of pushing the entire Blue Lions Fandom under the Bus and villify all of them. And even if I did just write some accusatory shit against Yaoi Fans, there is no understatement that in this case I talk about problematic trends I noticed inside the broader fandom discourse as well as the subsection of Yaoi Fans who engage over and over again in hostility against lesbians. At this point, I don't really think the people you complain about, which bother me alot myself, are really a majority of Blue Lions and Dimitri Fans, they are just very loud, pushy and aggressive and are good in talking as if they have any authority (look for example at this asshole who goes into his large somewhat orientalist and overall just stretching interpretations of the games supposedly deep buddhist themes and characterizes Edelgard as some evil seductress due to his own misogyny and media illiteracy). We shouldn't forget that Dimitri for many is just as much of a comfort character and inspiration as Edelgard is for her fans, due to his themes of trauma, mental illness, redemption and forgiveness which resonate strongly with them and their lived situation. I also think the very loud edelcrit community really worked towards poisening the waters and radicalize discourse, but overall I would personally assume that the majority of Dimitri Fans can understand and appreciate Edelgard as what she is in the confines of his route, a well-intentioned antagonist who in their point of view goies to far in her ambitions and whose ideals are irreconcilable with Dimitris. Which is true from the point of view AM operates on, just as Dimitri for an Edelgard Fan represents a good man who has fallen victim to the System and its manipulators Edelgard fights against. Theirs is a conflict of opposing ideals and perspective and I would say its where the game manages to execute its themes of connections and outreach as well as differing perspectives the best. Like, normal Blue Lions Fans ultimately agree with what Edelgard wants to archieve, because their reading is that Dimitri wants to archieve the same, they personally prefer his approach and road towards that goal. I think this is a point where people should be able to have fun with heated discussions but ultimately agree to disagree, its a very subjective matter ultimately.

Actually, I would say the worst detractors and most toxic individuals of the community are probably the church of seiros fans and the "Rhea did nothing wrong" crowd. Like, they can be among Dimitri, Claude or Rhea Fans, but those are usually those who try to force their own rather reactionary interpretations onto the community and engage often in rather racist, religious apologetics and pro-eugenics as well as pro-feudalism talking points and have this weird disdain for humans and human autonomy & liberation, as if they really immerse themselves mostly into the fantasy of being from some superior race, lol. Most of them have rather twisted and messed up interpretations of the world and the story which they are adamant about and usually they build their interpretation of the game around what they want it to be, namely being very pro-theocracy, anti-liberation and espousing the idea that humans need divine immortal beings to lead them, as well as often also being super Pro-Crest. I mean, one of the most infamous Edelcrit Fanfics is basically just full on pro-theocracy, pro-feudalism and pro-eugenics. Usually they have a strong hate boner against Hopes because it really ruins their personal headcanons of what the game is, lol. And I think many of them seem to have strongly jumped to the Engage bandwagon, which is closer to what they want out of 3 Houses, playing the idea of a divine dragon ruler straight and justified feudal bloodlines straight.

But yeah, I think I went into quite a few tangents here, I hope it doesn't bother you. If you have any more asks you can hit me up. Ultimately, I call them out when they engage in Incel and Misogynist behavior and otherwise just clown on these trolls. Its also just sad in a way, because its clear, that they constructed this idea of what they think the game is in their heads and everything that came out after te initial release of the game contradicts it.

[hey-i-am-trying]

WE DON'T HAVE PROOF THE RESET WILL FIX ANYTHING ABOUT THE ADMINS' SITUATION, YOU JUST BELIEVE THEY WILL.

The issues in the server have not been fixed you just have faith they are going to be fixed.

I believe I have been trying to be very nice, to be very respectful of all sides. I have defended and criticized QuackityStudio, Quackity himself, and Léa whenever I saw fit to do so, and I tried to give equal treatment to everyone and be respectful to everyone except those who spread misinformation.

I have been called a Quackity hater, a bootlicker for Quackity, accused of not supporting the admins, accused of hating the project, being told my critical posts were��doomposting, and now I am seeing people saying here and on twitter that me not wanting to support the project after the server reset is good. After all, I am a negative fan, I am one of those annoying brazilians that hated Quackity, so good ridence, right?

<3

If you want to believe that the server reset will allow things to get better, that is something you are free to do. But what about not going to people's asks with a passive-aggressive attitude while hiding behind your little anon masks? And I don't mean just my asks  

And that is honestly fine, it is fine to believe things are going to be better. But you don't have to be brilliant to see the red flags that we are still receiving from the current management.

Let's talk about how the current management didn't even care to talk with CherryBee and Ryan properly and ghosted them for months. And don't come with the poor excuse of "they couldn't promise anything, they couldn't apologize", because hey, let you on a little secret, you can talk with someone without promising or apologizing. They decided to end the eggs arc, and nobody seems to know when they made this decision, does it hurt to send an email saying "Unfortunately, we weren't able to continue with the eggs characters". CherryBee and Ryan were not giving the most bar low etiquette that the most soulless corporation could give.  

CherryBee was only contacted recently, she has been hopeful things would get better until being contacted, she and Ryan spoke openly about wanting to return, they didn't even release any statement until this moment. Why were the admins for Richas, Pepito, Leo, Lullah, and Chayanne allowed to say goodbye to the players but Ryan and CherryBee weren't? The only distinction was that they both were openly friends with admins who were fired, let go, or resigned. I am not saying that is the reason why they both weren't contacted but I could tell what that looks like, it looks like retaliation for showing public support to the other ex-admins. God knows what is happening with 춘식, just know they also didn't get to say any goodbye to the players or audience.

Also, let's talk about this clown show here:

Using the Ricardão(not Richas, Ricardão) farewell for the ghosties as marketing for a figurine one day after Richas officially died is definitely a choice, a dumb one, an incredibly insensitive one, but a choice nonetheless. 

But let's talk about how this shows they didn't stop to exploit the admins even the ones that they fired already. So, Elks(he/it) used to be the head writer of qsmp, but he also was responsible for creating concept art and models for characters. He created the entire design and models of Pomme and Richas, it is the intellectual owner of their designs, seeing as part of its TOS was that he was not relinquishing the rights of the designs for the client. Quackity Studio doesn't have the rights over Richas' and Pomme's designs, Elks was not consulted about the figures, he didn't even know they were being made. 

The only reason QuackityStudio didn't receive legal consequences for keep selling the figurines is that Elks doesn't have how to at the moment. 

So is very fun to see QuackityStudio will keep exploiting artists even after firing them.

Believe what the fuck you want to believe will happen next, but don't come to me and act as if your beliefs are based on facts and mine are born out of hysteria.

[velvetvexations]

It honestly scares the hell out of me how many people say that transandrophobia is MRA rhetoric- because that means that they have no idea what MRA rhetoric is like, and lack of knowledge of dangerous enemies is a dangerous thing. They barely view women as human, and many of them openly refer to them as animals or children- when they're not arguing that girls of 16 or 14 are at "peak", and age of consent laws are absurd. Many of them think women should be property, and that allowing women any degree of freedom degrades society. They argue that women have never done anything significant, that men have built every civilization. That men deserve to be rewarded for this with women's bodies, hearts, and servitude.

They use the existence of MRAs to derail every discussion of men's issues without even knowing what MRAs believe or the level of political sway they hold. And that's terrifying.

They're very stupid but I think they basically know what MRAs are. The problem is that they aren't focusing on actual MRAs, and are accusing innocent people of believing all those horrible things.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/759473232339419136/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost75896449235#notes

ONTF: "I haven’t read the actual book. Does it come across as just a repeat? My impression was that it was supposed to be more of a critique/reaction."

I read the book and watched DitF when they came out, so years and years ago, back when the book still used the lines about being like handmaide's tale and pacific rim, before at my bookstore deleted that tagline. I didn't know it was inspired by DitF when I picked it up.

I read the book without knowing about the DitF ties, and to me the DitF plot elements immediately jumped out and were a bit too blatant. The male female pair needing to pilot the mecha is one thing. Or reversing 02's murderous piloting and making it an all against the women by men, then making the murder part universal and not just exclusive to one individual also was fine. I'm no expert on mechas, so at first I just waved it away.

But parts of the plot also felt very copied to the point that I just knew the twist not because the book did anything to foreshadow it, I just had to remember DitF and could vaguely predict the plot twist. My most eyeroll example is probably the "The humans are the real invaders!" which I kinda guessed within the first few chapters, if not pages, after noticing the DitF ties, even before the story tried to cobble that foreshadowing together. Basically if you have watched DitF you could basically predict 70% of the plot twists and reveals. 🤷‍♀️ I might be misremembering but I think even the Alien plot twist was just used beat for beat, but I'm not sure if I'm mixing them up in my mind.

Even if it was a critique of that anime, it still felt too copied and like more of a fanfic + analysis, than a work standing on its own with original ideas. You could have changed the names, and it'd have felt right at home with the DitF fanfics. I think the best way to compare it is with Hunger game clones, the original Hunger games had a large focus on social commentary and the woes of the people, while many Hunger game clones were basically just focusing on the love triangle and #Girlboss without any of the apparent depth the actual book had. It had a bit of that feel, just that DitF wasn't that good either. 😖Ironically, never read that one, but my friend who read the Hunger games, and some clones explained that to me.

I know the author themselves admitted to it, but I think the problem is less the admitting to having copied certain concepts. I think the problem is them being mad that people still critique that aspect at all. Even if you openly tell people you copied or got inspired by another work, if people think it's too blatant, that doesn't negate the fact that people are gonna find a problem with how obvious or blatant the copying is. Offence can be a defence from accusations of copying, but depending on your writing it can still warrant people criticizing it because of how much you copied or "got inspired by". Like, the tiktok I saw wasn't about people finding out about the DitF copying, it was XJZhao trying to shut up the DitF people by saying they got the greenlight from the DitF showrunners, when that wasn't really the problem. I mean some people bitched about that, but it was also aimed at people just criticizing how obvious it was, even if they admitted to it being based on DitF rewrites. 😐

--

Ah. Honestly... I think a lot of problems come from publishing's love of marketing very young writers because it's exciting and aspirational for the audience and thus sells books. This just sounds like inexperienced writer stuff plus a bad penchant for fighting on social media when they should refrain.

[hollowboobtheory]

you guys know you can advocate for a cause without trying to make it into a gotcha moment right? you don't need to make the case for the reader to be a hypocrite. it doesn't need to be an accusation you can just present the cause.

stephanie meyer wrote a book using incredibly racist stereotypes about a very small real-life native tribe with no input from the people she was depicting and has not given any of the millions she's made off it back to the Quileute community despite knowing that they could really use the money. this is a bad thing she's done. you should disapprove of it, you should support native voices telling their own stories, and if you've got a few spare bucks you should consider sending it their way.

joanne rowling openly called for the eradication of trans people and then told her supporters to equate support of her work with support of her views. this is also a bad thing she's done. you should openly, loudly, and unambiguously combat the narrative she is trying to create that her views are the silent majority and honestly a great way to do that is to openly refuse to platform the harry potter franchise and give this as your reason to send the message that fascism is not to be tolerated and she is not, in fact, just saying what everybody is thinking.

they have both done bad things but they are such vastly different situations that to even try to compare them at all, to rank them in terms of badness, like badness is a single sliding scale that can be objectively and numerically measured, is so fucking bizarre to me and i don't get why people are so obsessed with doing it.

[formulatrash]

hello hazel! first time watching the indy 500 yesterday and i just found it so strange and uncomfortable how all of the commentators were speaking about santino ferrucci. i didn’t follow the junior series till recently and even i found out about how much of a bad person he is.

everyone was actively rooting for him to win and i think i just kept muttering to myself “he’s a raging racist” the whole time and every time i thought they would stop, they would just bring him up again.

honestly, if they don’t care about what he did then maybe don’t vocalize that you’re ok with it? and anyone that says well maybe he’s changed, this guy has openly said he doesn’t regret what he did.

i don’t know, i just found the whole thing so bizarre because i didn’t realize that he was actually well liked in indycar for some reason.

cn: racist bullying, generally being an arsehole

so for anyone who doesn't have the context for this: in 2018 Santino Ferrucci was America's hot new Formula 1 prospect, signed to Haas as a junior and competing in Formula 2 with ehhhh I guess. some results. he'd scored points for Trident, which isn't a frontrunning team but good drivers have taken the car to wins.

his teammate was Arjun Maini, who during the French round gave one of the most desperate-sounding, saddest radio messages you've ever heard, sounding close to tears and begging "I swear you guys don't support me at all" and saying no one believed him about his car's performance.

at the time it was extraordinary but maybe didn't ring the right alarm bells. the F2 car was very tricky for teams to manage and even Maini's explanation, that parts were failing and he was losing pace compared to his teammate, more accused the championship of having a shoddy car than anything else.

Ferrucci didn't exactly seem nice. but then there was a battle at the front of the 2018 field between Russell, Albon and Norris that was fairly distracting so someone picking up the odds point finish wasn't getting too much press scrutiny.

then it gets to Silverstone and things explode. Maini is clearly miserable and at the end of the sprint race (which then was after the feature race, so this is Sunday) Ferrucci comes out of fucking nowhere and crashes deliberately into Maini on the in-lap. he's banned for four races for being a weapon and then it all starts coming out.

Trident apologise to Maini, who it turns out was totally right that his car was essentially being sabotaged by Ferrucci and was also being subjected to racist bullying by Ferrucci and his father. Ferrucci's also dropped for non-payment, in a statement that basically says we couldn't wait to find a legal way to get away from this asshole.

Haas bin him at the same time and that looks like the end of this wanker who adds 'texting while driving a racecar' and 'trying to run a MAGA livery' to his list of misdemeanours all over the course of the same weekend.

he does a bit more postural nonsense including claiming he can't be racist because he's Italian and then seems to go away. until 2019 when he turns up in IndyCar as darling of the year. I don't watch a lot of IndyCar but it was to pretty much everyone's dismay to find this dude being gassed up from the start and given opportunities to put his "behavioural incidents" behind him without any regret.

idk how much he actually changed even on an operational level within teams cus he did get binned out of Indy for a bit to NASCAR, which actually has a pretty strong anti-racism and anti-asshole thing going on so unsurprisingly he didn't last there. now he's back in Indy being gassed up as the next great American dream by anyone with a microphone and I can't tell you what the Penske corporation sees in him but it's always been this way since he rocked up there.

some of it is a bit of 'well screw Europe and their whiny moralism we're backing our boy' kind of thing but like. this wasn't 'oh no you don't have the correct experience of our intricate continental racing' this was 'fuck off, you racist non-payer who held a team ransom while abusing your teammate, along with your garbage dad.' I guess someone always has to be the worst cousin at the barbecue and like so often, they're the one with the sports medals lately.

[33446699]

Tbh those girls are very immature and if you see their ages it proves for itself, i wonder if that women has been doing something like shamans too like she did With BTS. Because this kind of attachment is a lot....they are literally risking their careers at this point and not seeing the reality and people who are backing her up like guys have you seen her account!?? What she did!?? She is also accused for being a ped0h!le for a reason, and have some very strange and strong accusations. I'm not backing hybe up but you can't deny that she isn't problematic herself, she was given a lot of advantages too. See this from a bigger and more mature perspective, hybe is wrong in many ways too but you can't deny that she's all innocent. They risked a lot by posting that video, and the fact they are so young too they shouldn't be speaking because they were told to not contact her for a reason. When there's an ongoing lawsuit against someone ofcourse your label would suggest you to not engage because first you all aren't proper adults, new in the industry and doesn't know half of the stuff. Also no idols are allowed to speak against big topics like these even if they are adults-!! Whatever way they are reacting it's not a normal behaviour they are just being manipulated but to a higher level, attachment is normal but not to the extent you start risking your career..!! Don't blind faith in anyone.

this is just my opinion i would like to hear eveyone else's too.

Honestly this is what I think

This kind of attachment isn't normal at all ,Idk about shamanism things done to them ,but it can be a possibility too ,min heejin literally spend lots of money on shaman , but to me either they are manipulated and literally groomed or new jeans members are opportunists to know about everything about her and still siding with someone as problematic as min hee Jin

She not only has strong accusations against her of being a pedophile and I remember how whole K-pop fans used to pinpoint those things ,and now being silent because they just are against hybe ,and people who say she is a feminist, ignore the fact that not only she mocked a SA victim ,sided with the person who harassed her employee but is also under SA case filed by the victim ,if people still support her ,this is actually kinda disturbing

Hybe is wrong at some points too like you said but them creating a channel and posting video tells alot ,if they were in some other company SM etc SM would have taught them a lesson like they did with their other idols and they wouldn't be able to post videos like they are doing now , wouldn't be able to support so openly min heejin at every point ,hybe is really patient to let them do anything they want

About saying groups are avoiding them ,it's natural how they are supporting mine hee Jin so openly ,how many law suits are going against her and how she was so problematic to other groups ,no sane person would like to interact with them and will try to be at a distant

Them literally risking their careers and group ,is again likely a calculated move by them and min hee Jin ,they are puppets at this point which are fighting for min heejin and she knows she wouldn't be able to fight without new jeans and tokkis support so she is using them to maximium extent ,either they want to end contract and want to get rid of fine they have to pay hybe by pushing hybe to terminate their contact by going to these insane extent ,or they really want to push hybe to only support them and make min hee Jin as incharge of everything

Hybe messed up really bad by giving leverage to min hee Jin in pasts and giving facilities to them no other group had ,so they are just idiots at this point to side with min hee Jin and not with hybe as most of the things which are happening now and the facilities they think they are ripped off is mostly because of min hee Jin being so problematic

Hybe is correcting their mistakes and they shouldn't let any CEO in future,have this much authority as it can back fire and it's not fair to other groups ,new jeans members ,their fandoms ,their lawyers are honestly trying everything to ruin their careers

Minors shouldn't be debut in K-pop as NJ members are really telling what happens if you let debut minors ,but again other groups also have minors and they don't act like this ,so I don't really understand what is going on with them

Then saying they have the right to their MV ,do they really know at this point what are they even saying ?them blindly trusting her is a problem,and them thinking they are nothing without her ,is an insult to themselves not min hee jin

[crossdressingdeath]

Actually one thing that really bothers me with the whole "No one hated you for being the son of Hades, you just pushed everyone away" thing is that... well, first off as I've said before we know it isn't true because every single POV character we've had since Titan's Curse who's interacted with Nico except Hazel comments on how creepy Nico is for being the son of Hades so it doesn't work even slightly, but also. I mean. Nico spends so much time being told "This thing that you are and cannot stop being is wrong and evil. It's wrong and evil because we've decided it is. Your father, the one adult in your life you can even sort of depend on? He's bad because he's the god of the dead. No, no, it's nothing he's done exactly, in fact when we accused him of a crime before it turned out he was actually a victim in said crime, he didn't do anything; it's what he is and how that's caused him to distance himself from the people who vocally hate him and don't want him around that makes him untrustworthy, and you should also know better than to trust him. He's Hades after all. That makes him bad," with the subtext that Nico very clearly picks up on being "and you're bad because you're like him". Now, if you think about that, you may pick up on a little bit of applicability in there for the story of a kid struggling with internalized homophobia! Just a teensy bit! It was a perfect way of getting into how awful it is to have people you like and care about openly think something about you that you can't change makes you wrong even if they don't realize they're doing it and even if they really do love you (and in fact how in a lot of ways it's worse when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they do love you aside from That Part) without having to make any characters actually homophobic (thinking the Underworld's creepy is significantly more sympathetic and easier to justify and get characters to work through in a fictional setting than them being real-world bigots would be, after all), and Rick fumbled the ball at the finish line!

If you're reading the whole "Hades and Underworld stuff is Bad And Creepy so Nico is Bad And Creepy" thing as being a metaphor for homophobia (or honestly any other kind of bigotry, but given Nico's problems homophobia fits best) as is really easy to do even before he's revealed to be gay the way that plot point gets dropped in favour of "Well actually it was fine the whole time and Nico just decided that everyone hated him with no evidence other than every POV character except his sister openly thinking he's creepy and at least one person telling him to his face that he shouldn't have trusted his own father who up to that point as far as we know had never lied to him solely because his father is the god of the dead but never mind that, it was all in his head!" kind of feels like Rick's going "Oh, it's not that serious" when uh. incorrect. Which I'm sure wasn't his intention, Rick does try to be sensitive about these things, but it is very much a thing that insisting that a character (whose arc features a huge aspect of overcoming internalized homophobia developed by growing up in the 1930s) saying in no uncertain terms that he's been made to feel unwelcome because of who his father is when we know from the other POV characters' views of him and responses to him that his view of it is correct doesn't need to be taken seriously because "Oh it's all in his head" is... a little uncomfortable! And made worse by the fact that while Will learning to see that the Underworld isn't an inherently awful place is an excellent subplot and we love to see the character growth (and I still firmly believe that Will is infinitely better about it than basically any other character for the primary reason that at least he has a specific reason for thinking the way he does, being in the Underworld is literally killing him and also he's the only character who does learn he was wrong to think that way, so no one start shit about it on this post) he hasn't had that character development at the end of HoO, and the fact that we hear this "You pushed yourself away" viewpoint from someone who also has issues with the Underworld and it's still allowed to stand without argument makes it so much worse. Rick, there's an entire subplot in TSatS about how Nico does in fact still hear even people who genuinely and deeply love him and hate the thought of doing anything to harm him talk shit about his home and how that hurts him and they need to learn to do better. Why are you still trying to say it's all in Nico's head when you keep hammering home that it isn't?

[khyann]

I hope that this is the last thing I ever post on this drama, but i just dont understand the negativity against Scott with the whole Ectoslab situation

Like yeah, I do understand being disappointed in him for not doing anything against the harassment towards Ecto, that's a criticism I do actually agree with. But people are almost treating it like Scott was the only cc ever involved with Ecto to drop them, saying that he did it to "save face" and "not get dragged into the drama". Everyone seems to forget so far Scott is the only cc we know to have expressed his support for Ecto during the harassment campaign and Scott wasn't even the closest CC to Ecto, Sausage was.

Yet Sausage didn't make any sort of statement on the situation (as far as I'm aware), nor in support of Ecto nor even about cutting ties with them and I haven't seen anyone critizicing him for letting down an artist he was so close to.

Other CC dropped Ecto too without saying a word on the matter. Scott was the only CC to express his support towards Ecto that we know of, and only retracted it upon finding out Ecto is a proshipper, retracting his support because he doesn't support proshipping. He wasn't trying to save face, he simply found out an artist he worked with and with who he would openly interact (especially in the early days of Pirates SMP) turned out to behave in a way he didn't approve or supported and decided to drop them.

He was trying to be a good person help someone without knowing or understanding what they were being accused of. And that has led to people taking his decision of retracting his support for someone because he didn't support what that person stood for and equating it to him trying to not get himself involved in the drama. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if people would have hated on him too for expressing that he didn't want people harassing Ecto (tho still I still wish he would have addressed it at least) and saying that he supported proshipping because of that. Why? Because that's what happened to the artist Foxxology, who was friends with Ecto, initially supporting them until they found out what the accusations where about, at the time this was going on and when they expressed despite not approving of Ecto's stance, they didn't support the harassment either people interpreted their distaste for unfair harassment as them supporting proshipping and also getting dragged into the hate which was the final push for them to leave twitter (they had been planning on leaving for a while, this incident was just the final straw, not the main cause).

(Also please they've already moved from this so don't go bothering them about this)

Lemme ask: Would you all be judging Scott as hardly had he stayed silent on the matter like every other CC did?

You can dislike Scott, in general or because he handled this specific situation. But I ask you to please verify all the information from all sides, not just here but in general. I too was on Ecto's side for the first few days but decided to check on my own if there was any proof to the allegations against them. It wasn't my intent to prove they are a proshipper (hell I was hoping it was stuff being taken out of context or something from so long ago Ecto no longer agreed with that) and I found out the proves for the allegations causing me to block them and delete anything I ever reblogged from them from my blogs. I still considered the harassment unfair, but also didn't want to suport a proshipper. My opinion didn't change upon seeing a google doc explaining things from their side when they say the characters had been aged to 18 (because I know that's not true) and that they continued to defend their stance saying that is about more than just problematic pairings.

First screenshot is from 2021, Ecto was in their very late 20's to early 30's back them

On Ecto being a proshipper: Source 1, Source 2, Source 3

Ecto's google doc explaining their side: link

[coveredinbees]

I've been seeing some people on Twitter calling Matt Bomer a zionist, and I have thoughts. I've included a cut here, so people don't have to read my mad political rantings if they don't want to. I know people are going to get mad at me, but, well... I can't help that.

Before I start, let me just get a few points straight:

Above all else, I support Palestine. They have been subject to gross apartheid for many fucking years, and what is happening right now is not a conflict between one state and another - it is the starvation and genocide of civilian people. The state of Israel must be condemned for their actions.

I also acknowledge that we need to be careful about the language we use when discussing Israel and Palestine. Because there are antisemetic people out there who will try and piggy back on pro-Palestinian arguments, ('fellow travelers', if you will); and honestly, fuck racists. It is possible, (even necessary), to openly condemn the actions of a government, without allowing racist narratives to bleed into the conversation. But we need to check ourselves.

Yes, I agree, Hamas are a terrorist organisation and they are fucking awful.

The big question is, "Is Matt Bomer a zionist? " And the unfortunate answer is, I don't know. If it turns out he is, then y'all stand aside, and I will yeet him off the cliff myself, but so far, all I've seen him accused of is posting the Israeli flag in his Instagram stories, (undated), and I suspect he might be one of the many celebrities out there who posted their support for one side, without doing any surface-level digging beyond what he saw in the media. Maybe he isn't a zionist, you guys. It's entirely possible - nay, likely - that he is just a dumb bitch, like the rest of us.

But we do live in a cancel culture society, and we do not tend to give a lot of leeway for people to be ill-informed or make mistakes on social media. Don't get me wrong - some people should be cancelled. But what I want to encourage here is critical thinking. Don't just cancel people because of a random tweet you saw. Ask yourself, "Is this person bad, or are they misinformed?" I mean, maybe it will turn out he does support the State of Israel in their actions, in which case - fuck him. But then, maybe it will turn out that he's human and he made a mistake. The dude did just win an award for his human rights work, so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, until someone can give me categorical proof that Matt Bomer supports genocide.

Weigh things objectively. Decide for yourself. I am not here to tell you what to think. But personally, I want more information before I start boycotting him, or harassing him on social media, as I see some people are already doing.

If you feel that passionately about Palestine, good. You should be passionate, what is happening is horrendous. But turning that passion into vitriol for dumb celebrities is not very practical. Donate to Amnesty International, join one of the many 'Pro-Palestine' marches happening globally, or write to your MP. It all seems so small, but every little thing we do helps.

And thank you for reading. I'm always up for discourse, if anyone wants to have a conversation about this.

[shinakazami1]

Honestly I'm so sorry about how you were treated this past while, I can sympathizes with u cause something similar happened to me like 3 years ago too with a bigger audience. Its unfortunate alot of ppl take things at face value and never looks deeper into things, you didn't deserve to be treated like that and hopefully after some time you'll gain some trust back that the fandom broke with you. I wouldn't blame you if you are furious at some people. When I first saw it I didn't even realize you had more socials besides AO3 (very dumb of me ik lol,, also I love your "a good luck charm" fic sm it makes me naw at my enclosure) and was BAFFLED at the accusations with the lack of proof, and I really wish more people thought like that too, but alas people follow blindly. You definitely did everything right, taking accountability of your mistakes and fixing them. I wish you the best and hope the rest of this year treats you softly and warm <3 if you ever wanna just scream and let out some of those built up emotions u probably have dont be afraid to reach out cause ill be like those drunk bitches at a party who back u tf up<<333

Thank you for coming here. I'm glad you can enjoy that work - Since my collab partner left the fandom, I have been having a hard time returning to it but I do hope to give Good Luck Charm justice :]

I don't really know if I want the trust of people who chose to judge without any proof but, I know they got the information from a figure many look up to.

I do know my trust for them had gotten smaller. The effects of everything on me isn't exactly something many considered - during the whole thing, I couldn't eat for several days and had gotten sick for a few weeks. But I didn't intend to really inform folks openly about it as my health was not important in the moment and certainly I wouldn't want to seem I use it to get pity. I really didn't want yes men in all this, I wanted folks to at least listen to the actual proof of what did happen.

I do feel my privacy was never respected, as stated otherwise by them. If that were the case - this would have been discussed privately and details would have been ironed. And with how many people got involved due to being pinged in the server, I feel it should have accounted by people who in charge. While in the end it seemed to have been discussed - I feel it was a bit too late. And the responsibility wasn't taken in the other side.

Had I done well with my response to the situation? I think so, but I don't know if some things couldn't have been some better but I certainly don't want to have round two to figure that out.

But thank you kindly, for your support. It truly means a lot.

And even if I'm angry at many people who kept silence - I get it, to some extend. But I'm most glad for those who did decide to break it, like you.

Thank you for the wishes, hope the same for you!

[shit-talk-turner]

The guys just saw someone say something about how Lola invited Louise to the wedding and not Taylor. First of all, how do we know she didn't invite Taylor? Secondly, why are we so sure that Alex was the bad guy? Taylor had openly said that she was trying really hard to get better and got sober (I don't know what), but if you look at her page from back then, there was almost a glorification of everything related to alcohol. It seemed like she always posted about alcohol. It makes me think that she was probably suffering from possible alcoholism and, honestly, mixed with her personality, which is very eccentric, she probably would have become a very difficult person. There are also certain interviews from that time in which it appears that Alex is hiding a bruise under his eye (he might not have any relationship with Taylor). My personal interpretation is that Alex tried as long as he could, he wanted to break up with her, but her dog was very sick/died and he didn't figure out the right time, so when she seemed settled and had moved forward with the adoption of other. dog decided to break up with her and that's why he was able to move on so quickly. I don't know if there was a trap. This doesn't necessarily make Alex a bad person. I think he was in a very, very unhealthy and complicated relationship and so this idea that Alex is horrible/cold for moving on so quickly is a little ridiculous. It could also be the reason why he kept Louise at such a distance. This is a really problematic shot. I know Anon was trying to make Alex look better with this theory, but those are massive accusations against someone who lived with him, was clearly in love with him, and who we have pretty solid evidence was cheated on. She is flawed and I agree that it didn't seem like a healthy relationship (there was definitely a power imbalance), but it seems cruel to try to blame all of this on the woman who ended up scorned, especially without literally any evidence pointing to abuse. Alex is not a perfect baby. He surely does bad things and very clearly didn't do right by her. // Also, not in vain, but from what we can see, Taylor's substance abuse and attitude problems came AFTER she was with Alex... not that he's responsible for it (she's an adult ), but if someone fostered an environment that supported her. That kind of thing was probably him. Really, who is more likely to have introduced drugs and partying into the relationship: the touring musician who lives out his most outrageous rock star fantasies with his best friend, or the C-list model from Tennessee who Is she still on tour because she's not famous enough? Have her own concerts taking up her time? I don't mean this as an insult to her, but he clearly had more access to her. So if he really left her because of a problem he was a part of instead of helping her recover... that's even colder than cheating, to be honest. // And Lola definitely did not invite Taylor to her wedding since Taylor stopped following Zackery and Lola on Instagram after the wedding. They basically threw away her friendship after her breakup with Alex and it's strange why they invited Alexa and not Taylor.

^

[oh-my-damn]

Hello Mandy, it's nice to meet you!

Thank you for your extensive answer. And I must admit you will make a great lawyer one day because you failed to answer my questions completely. I'll do it more structured this time

1 how do you see a realistic resolution for the current conflict in Gaza? One where both gazans and jews can live safely? I honestly don't see one without getting rid of Hamas.

2 as you explained the bar for genocide is very low, even 1 person. So I never said it wasn't genocide, I was just wondering how it was relevant to mention. Especially because by that definition Palestinians aka arabs have been committing genocide on jews since before Israel was founded. Also the international court of justice only ruled it was plausible that Isreal was committing genocide, it wasn't definitive.. And you know in law these details matter a lot.. but you must now better then them since you took a course on it, glad to ha e your ruling.

As a side note, I do love your reference to Hitler and how he even tried to hide his genocide.. didn't the grand mufti of Jerusalem actually go to Hitler to get the nazis to help the with fighting the jews in palestine.. The same man who was in the council that rejected the 2 state solution and one fo the first Palestinian leaders? Wonder what his intent was..

Feel free to dismiss my post all together by saying I haven't educated myself enough, or to go on about something that doesn't answer my questions.

Thanks for your time ❤️

Oh hi!

Yes, well, since you missed the majority of my post (you didn't read it. I can tell.)

Let me quote it directly for you in response to your questions 🥰

2 as you explained the bar for genocide is very low, even 1 person. So I never said it wasn't genocide

This is actually not true. The wording you used very much did question the happening of a genocide. Let me remind you that you said this:

Also I don't get the constant reference to genocide, the number of casualties is quite low so far compared to other wars. So by that reasoning almost any war involves genocide. It's especially puzzling because the side openly calling for genocide is the one you support.

Obviously literature isn't for everyone but even when putting on my "strictly law-glasses 🧐" I see this question for what it is.

Fun fact! A lot of people think that lawyers are these dry ass humanoids but in reality, what lawyers do most of the time, is interpret text and writing. So my personal writing skills actually come very in-handy because a lot of the time, we have to interpret and adapt laws to fit the specific situation.

Anyway, in this particular situation, lets just pretend I was the prosecutor on your case! You know, just for fun!

And in that case, I would absolutely argue that you mentioning "genocide" several times while drawing opinions and conclusions within the same sentence paints a picture of belief towards genocide. What I can derive from your sentence speficially is this:

I don't get the constant reference to genocide

the number of casualties is quite low so far compared to other wars

almost any war involves genocide

Which proves a clear bias against Palestinians and a bias towards Israel and the genocide they are committing.

And, if you recall, I replied to this specific question in your original post because I'm nice like that! Even though, in case you didn't know, I did not have to respond to your question AT ALL.

But, since you want to be an asshole, due to you sending this:

I must admit you will make a great lawyer one day because you failed to answer my questions completely.

I will respond to you like the terrible lawyer I am (I am also a cunty asshole, beware)

GET READY BABE 😜

1 how do you see a realistic resolution for the current conflict in Gaza? One where both gazans and jews can live safely? I honestly don't see one without getting rid of Hamas.

Omg the answer is so easy girl! Can't believe you didn't realize before. Must be the same reason why the rest of the world hasn't, either!

I DONT FUCKING KNOW. Personally, I think Israel should give back the land they stole but that didn't work in America so why should it now?????

2 as you explained the bar for genocide is very low, even 1 person. So I never said it wasn't genocide, I was just wondering how it was relevant to mention. Especially because by that definition Palestinians aka arabs have been committing genocide on jews since before Israel was founded.

Also the international court of justice only ruled it was plausible that Isreal was committing genocide, it wasn't definitive.. And you know in law these details matter a lot.. but you must now better then them since you took a course on it, glad to ha e your ruling.

We've gone over the first part because you did in fact say that, but lets move on.

Especially because by that definition Palestinians aka arabs have been committing genocide on jews since before Israel was founded.

I would very much like not only an explanation on this, because HUH??? But also sources. Ones that are NOT from fox news. Thanks babe xxxx

Also the international court of justice only ruled it was plausible that Isreal was committing genocide, it wasn't definitive.. And you know in law these details matter a lot.. but you must now better then them since you took a course on it, glad to ha e your ruling.

Oooooh, interesting..................... Actually, what I said was exactly what the court said - which is why I cited my sources. Let me do it again:

Now, what's REALLY funny is what YOU said is entirely uncited?! you have NO PROOF of what you're saying, yet you're trying to make ME sound like a liar when I am ACTIVELY CITING MY SOURCES?

GO TO SCHOOL. DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LEARN TO FUCKING READ. ALL OF THIS WAS IN THE FUCKING LINKS I SENT YOU.

[songbirds-of-halcyon]

We got our more detailed medical records and guess what we have. You won’t fucking believe this.

First of all, we have several instances of being described as “not having a personality”, “hearing voices”, “identity confusion”, etc.

We have one letter stating various things we’ll pick out. We’re replacing our legal name with Halcyon and fixing the misgendering btw.

“Halcyon’s main areas of concern were that people do not accept that he has experienced trauma in the past.” They said this because I told them they were ignoring and not helping at all with the trauma.

“Following an extended assessment, it became clear that Halcyon’s difficulties are complex, not least because they are inflicted by Autism, which leads to very concrete thinking.” This was said because I wouldn’t take “we’ll treat you before we even consider diagnosing you/learning about your symptoms/treating you like a person” for an answer.

(HERE’S THE BEST ONE) “Halcyon’s sense of himself is very unintegrated, which leads to splitting off feelings and emotional states and giving them names and personalities, which Halcyon experiences as independent of himself.” Uh-oh! Someone’s describing a system! -_- Unintegrated identity, huh? Wonder what that could be. Nothing comes to mind /sar

They also openly call others in the system “personalities” in the letter btw. MPD? Never heard of it lol. /sar

Psychosis and “serious mental illness” was ruled out. I guess I’m demon possessed then.

They tried to say I (🌸) created them to help me “gain an understanding of how/why we developed this view of myself”, which was funny because I’m not the original host.

The second letter: S is my other, non-NHS therapist, btw. I don’t want to share her name here

“S fed back that she had started some solution-focused work with Halcyon around accepting Halcyon’s view that he has multiple identities and using and developing his strengths within these to help him move forward and achieve his goals.” This is just sceptical-talk for S has been talking to us like people and actually addressing the issue instead of pretending it’s “autism hallucinations” or whatever the fuck CAHMS are doing. You’d think this would be a good thing, no? A therapist is helping a trauma victim heal from their trauma and achieve goals in their life without fear or pain! Well, CAHMS has other opinions. CAHMS says…

“Halcyon seems to be more engaged in this way of working with S, rather the work being more about trying to challenge the existence of different personalities.” That’s right; because S isn’t encouraging me to drive the system to panic and possibly death again, it’s “not working”. Because S is doing her job and actually helping in a way that didn’t cause us to split 60+ times (I’m not even fucking joking), she’s wrong. CAHMS “method” literally almost caused me to go dormant, several near-deaths, months worth of doubt to the point where I was fucking banned from fronting because multiple of us including myself were so dangerously close to fucking up our own life permanently, and accusing us of being created/imaginary/hallucinations/lies/etc. And guess what, NONE OF IT WORKED!! I don’t understand why they keep trying to disprove it when everything they’ve done has failed, and they’ve by definition alone almost diagnosed me with DID already!! We’ve been so much happier dealing with this shit alone tbh.

S has been our main therapist for over 5+ years. We’ve been seeing her since we were 12. Our old host told her about the system before I even existed. Of course we fucking trust her, she’s known us for longer than any of the doctors at CAHMS, and she’s also just better at her job honestly (in more ways that just related to this).

Also CAHMS had a few comments about our C-PTSD. Apparently we:

Don’t have PTSD, but we do have…

Traumagenic synesthesia (which isn’t a thing)

Traumagenic gender dysphoria (trauma started at age 6 and we came out as trans at 3 so either we’re a time traveller or someone’s crap at their job)

And Traumagenic homosexuality! No, I am not fucking joking, this is in my actual literal medical records!!

Oh, and also developmental trauma, which is the CAHMS way of saying “yeah you have C-PTSD but we don’t wanna call it that bc we don’t wanna treat you”.

They also claimed that autism causes auditory hallucinations (hearing voices) and identity confusion (alters). Gotta love 60+ year old doctors who haven’t done any catch-up courses, am I right?

So yeah, CAHMS is a joke.

-🌸