#like trying to use her old methods of making stuff up to Anakin but it obviously doesn't work because she's not talking to Anakin

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

A long list of Clone Wars headcanons just cause

Sometimes Ahsoka will get the zoomies and how she handles that energy is roughhousing with Anakin who's more than willing to participate 

It becomes a show for the 501 because seeing the small togruta tackle the lanky ass nightmare that is Anakin Skywalker to the floor is hilarious 

They are both guilty of not knowing their strength so some people (cough cough Obi-Wan cough cough) caution them against it they don’t really listen tho which has resulted in some pretty hilarious injuries 

One of those injuries happened when they were playing around and Ahsoka shouldered Anakin so abruptly that he fell back on him tailbone and got the wind knocked out of him she sat by his side laughing her ass off

It took her an unreasonable amount of time to realize he was in pain and when she did she started apologizing like crazy she still gets embarrassed when people bring it up and still apologizes years later

There was another time when Ahsoka turned her back to Anakin when they were roughhousing and he pushed her so hard that she almost fell off of the landing platform they were standing on

He snatched her up by the stomach while muttering “I’m so sorry” and then he started frantically checking to make sure he didn’t seriously hurt her while Ahsoka laughed so hard she swears to this day that she pulled something 

Unfortunately when the laughter stopped she did realize she managed to sprain her wrist and when Anakin found he helped her wrap it

You’d think that they’d learn from these incidents but nope they still play fight like two big dogs 

Even tho Anakin and Ahsoka’s place is pretty clean it’s never really quiet there’s always gotta be some kinda noise 

Sometimes it’s Ahsoka’s music playing loudly in her room, sometimes it’s a holomovie in the living room, and sometimes it’s just them bickering in the kitchen

It doesn’t matter what it is it’s never truly quiet even at night there’s a small amount of noise from Anakin’s snoring (which he denies) and Ahsoka’s purring thing (which she also denies) 

As crazy as it sounds the people closest to them will admit that their noise is strangely comforting  

Anakin and Ahsoka are so freaking similar that it turns heads sometimes they’ll say something the other said but they’ve never heard like “This is where the fun begins” 

It’s stopped Obi-Wan in his tracks before it kinda freaks him out and worries him a little bit but it also puts a small smile on his face when the duo says the same thing at the same time

They’re also able to predict how the other will react once Ahsoka was teaching the clones tricks with her saber and they broke it they felt terrible but they were also terrified about Anakin’s reaction 

Ahsoka was the only calm one in the room and explained to the group that Anakin would pretend to be pissed for about an hour but then he’d “calm down” and ask for the parted to fix it and by that time rolled around she’d already have his favorite holo prepped and food from Dex’s

They listened to her with a healthy amount of skepticism and were happily surprised to find out the next day that she was right  

There was another time when Anakin and Obi-Wan decided to buy Ahsoka her favorite boba to soften the blow that she wasn’t gonna go on a mission Anakin told Obi-Wan that she’d be happy for a minute before asking what happened and he was right 

When Ahsoka got closer to Anakin the clones and everyone else she showed her secret passion for acting like she doesn’t know them in public when they piss her off

It worked a couple of times and one of those times Rex almost got arrested because the officer didn’t believe that they were the commander and captain of the 501st Rex didn’t blame the dude because he couldn’t prove it without Ahsoka’s help and she refused to back him up

Ahsoka finally dropped the act when the cuffs came out but she was still kinda reluctant

She did agree to take a break from that prank and she stopped doing it entirely when Obi-Wan had to bail Anakin out of jail (she bought a lot of boba for a very long time to make up for that one)

They will reference the prank occasionally by asking each other at random points in the day “Do I know you?” 

Like sometimes they’ll be out and Anakin will ask “Have we met before?” most of the time Ahsoka will answer “No actually we haven’t” (this girl is wearing his cloak he’s wearing one of her headwraps and his arm is resting on her head) 

Sometimes Padme will make a big deal of taking Anakin and Ahsoka out to do something just the three of them

Whenever Padme and Anakin show the smallest form of affection towards each other Ahsoka makes a big deal about gagging Anakin makes a bigger deal of “evening it out” 

Like if he kisses Padme and Ahsoka gags he’ll grab her and give her a big smooch on the forehead and then like the little shit that he is he’ll whip his lips calling her greasy

She gets him back by whipping the spit off her forehead with his robes (and also backhanding him which Padme kindly ignores)

Padme will sometimes tease her too like if she grabs Anakin’s hand then she’ll link arms with Ahsoka and make a small comment like “There now you’re even”

Sometimes Ahsoka will get them both back in the moments when they check on each other first she’ll make a big deal about saying “Well kriff me I guess” even if she doesn’t have a scratch on her 

Both Anakin and Padme will make a big deal about checking her for injuries with a couple of comments like “Oh my poor little padawan you have a scratch from training last night how did you cope”

I said in my first post that Ahsoka and Anakin have a playlist and I love the idea that they have different titles for them like “Obi-Wan’s least favorite playlist” “get ready to kick seppie’s ass” “the council pissed me off again” and stuff like that 

It’s all in good fun but they’ll never let anyone else see those titles because they know it’ll get a good scolding from Obi-Wan

The moment Obi-Wan knew Anakin had formed an “unnecessary attachment” wasn’t some big life-or-death moment on the battlefield 

In hindsight it was a pretty funny moment that was caused by Anakin’s stupidity cause he had broken a glass earlier that day and he thought he got all the pieces so he didn’t feel it was necessary to tell Ahsoka

Next thing he knows the poor togruta is gasping in pain and when he goes to check on her she’s sitting on the kitchen floor while the mother of all glass shards is sticking out of her foot 

Now you might be asking “How did Anakin miss a glass shard the size of his hand?” he honestly couldn’t give you an answer but he could tell you was in that moment he realized that he forgot to restock the med kit even though Ahsoka had reminded him about it earlier that day

All Obi-Wan got to see of this was a blur of Anakin holding his profusely bleeding padawan while yelling at the top of his lungs “Move she’s bleeding out!”

No one can really blame the man for dropping everything he was doing to chase after his former padawan and they also can’t blame him for assuming the worst like her being stabbed or shot

He didn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the halls of healing but it wasn’t an embarrassed Anakin standing over a cackling Ahsoka as the healers scolded him for causing a scene

He makes a silent note to give Anakin a small lecture about keeping his emotions under control before checking on his giggly grand padawan

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[cherryblossomriot]

i had a dream the other day that was basically a dinluke cowboy au and it has been HAUNTING me, so just allow me to deposit it upon you like my subconscious drop kicked it onto me:

Luke is a disabled veteran who has returned from war one hand lighter and several scars heavier. When he returns, his family, who are heavily involved in the politics/military of this fictional land, don’t understand his now jaded and melancholic view of both the world, but also the ideologies that they so strongly believe in, leading him to constantly feel like an outcast even among the people that he so dearly loves. They’re all passionate and strong-willed, but they still don’t understand, not his struggles with mental health or his new perspective, and it just makes things worse and worse and worse. Anakin is a general, and though he’s seen the gruesomeness of war firsthand, he’s also become desensitized to it and has anger-management issues, so he often almost finds a sort of refuge within the chaos of battle, so he clearly cannot even fathom the emotions and trauma that Luke is trying to sort through, much less know how to deal with them properly. Padme is a senator and cares deeply about the crimes and seemingly senseless violence occurring during the war, but she’s also a politician and knows how to play the long game, so when Luke comes to her, he leaves feeling misunderstood and pushed aside. Leia is the only one who seemingly understands, as the pair of them have a deep, intrinsic bond, but she doesn’t fully grasp Luke’s moods and doesn’t handle his breakdowns and flashbacks well. So everyone feels a little upset, a little unsettled, and a lot like they don’t understand why and how Luke has changed, which leads to Luke feeling more and more out of place within his own family. The war ends relatively soon after Luke’s return, which leads to parades which leads to awards which leads to balls and banquets, all of which Luke is forced to attend, his heart dragging but his head held high, because he’s an Amidala-Skywalker goddammit, and we have a certain responsibility and image to maintain to the public and everyone who endured so much. So Luke has to sit there through awards and boasts of glory and mentions of battle scars and it goes on and on and on, and he has to smile and bear it and accept the medal that they’re giving him because he did such a great service to his country and-he has a panic attack. A nasty one that leads to him having to flee from a ballroom, and outside to the gardens. Once he’s there, he realizes that he doesn’t want to go back in. At all. So he runs away. He just picks a direction and goes, stealing a car on the way (this is a modern au but also fictional countries because I don’t want to get into real politics, hooo boy no siree). In the middle of nowhere, he gets caught in a storm and basically crashes his car and passes out. 

But when he wakes up! That’s when the fun begins. 

He’s in this cozy sort of bedroom, and this hot guy is fast asleep in the chair beside his bed, and is that a little kid in his lap? Anyway, the hot guy wakes up, introduces himself as Din Djarin in the softest, most attractive voice Luke has ever heard with his own two ears, and doesn’t ask him where he’s from or what he was doing driving in the middle of bumfuck nowhere at 3 in the morning, so Luke is obligated to have a lil crush on him, even though he’s not sure about the kid. So he asks, and Din introduces him to his son Grogu, who waves at him and signs hello, because, as Din explains, he doesn’t speak much, and the foster system wasn’t too kind to him, so he’s got a little bit of trauma to work through. And Luke just, instantly falls in love with this soft dad and his cute little son who can shift his features from the biggest, most pleading puppy eyes ever to the face of a demented gremlin who will try to eat the frog he caught in the backyard, no matter how slimy it is, or how hard it tries to wriggle out of his hands. Din tells Luke that he can stay for however long he needs, because Luke’s kinda injured from his accident, and anyway, once he’s healed up, they always could use another hand on the farm. So Luke stays, and he meets all of Din’s other farm hands (and shitty friends). There’s Boba, who doesn’t talk much, but when he does it’s always something slightly ominous and menacing, and Luke thinks that his name sounds familiar...hey wasn’t he on the news for robbing a couple banks a few years back?...no, surely not..., Fennec, who speaks even less than Boba, and manages to be far, far more intimidating, but also helps Luke with his prosthetic and gives him fun little tips that always sound more like she’s cut off a lot more limbs than she’s lost. Cara Dune (who is not gina carano but i digress) is also there, and she’s just constantly a harbinger of chaos, but will babysit Grogu whenever Din wants to brood and stare longingly into the distance (or at Luke who’s also brooding as the sun sets but shhh). Bo-Katan and the gang are there, and while Bo-Katan grumbles about how the old ranch boss had different/better methods on how to run things, she still follows Din’s lead and helps him with the finances and taxes. They all take to Luke like a wildfire, because Luke is a sunshine boy who can make friends with literally anyone and somehow manages to make Din not only smile but laugh, but also because they can tell he’s got a lot of trauma and pain bubbling just under the surface, and they all silently but collectively agreed a long time ago that they are the patron saints of troubled and lost souls. 

When Luke gets better and starts to help out, he’s constantly upset with himself because he used to help out at his aunt and uncle’s farm in the summers when he was a kid, and he knows how to do this stuff, but his prosthetic is really throwing him off and his body has sustained a lot of other injuries that make doing manual labor a much more different experience than it used to be, but everyone is really patient with him and helps him out, especially Din. At one point, Din is so nice that Luke just loses it, because he doesn’t understand how Din can be so kind and so patient, and care about him so much, and kind of calls himself broken and useless in front of Din, and Din gets super protective and grabs his hands (real and prosthetic) and tells him that he’s not broken or useless, and you’re so sweet and wonderful, and can’t you see? Ever since you’ve been here, everyone’s been so much happier, so much lighter. You’ve brought something precious to us, but most of all to me. And they’re standing really close and for a second Luke thinks Din is going to kiss him, but instead, Luke realizes that he’s crying, and Din just wraps his arms around him and holds him.

After that, time sort of blurs, marked by things like Grogu climbing into Luke’s bed because he sensed that he was having a nightmare, and Din waking up to find the pair of them coloring in a serene silence, Luke getting the hang of ranch life and his prosthetic and dealing with his panic attacks and flashbacks as they come, and Din enduring relentless badgering from his friends because hey, if you don’t marry Luke, I will and Fennec, you’re a lesbian and that doesn’t matter, it’ll be a marriage of twink and butch solidarity. And all the while, Din and Luke are spinning closer and closer towards each other, two suns hurtling in their orbit to the other with an inescapable certainty. 

When it finally happens, they’ve just gotten back from one of those cowboy dances (idk what they’re called...hoedowns? yeah okay) (and yes, I wanted to hit all of the cliches in the book, thank you very much), and Grogu’s fallen fast asleep on Luke’s shoulder. After they tuck him up all snug in his bed, they head out to the porch, because it’s raining outside, and the steady thrum of water droplets splattering on the roof and on the grass is the most soothing sound Luke has ever heard (aside from Din’s voice), and he’s a little too afraid to go to sleep and ruin his perfect night with a nightmare. They stand there for a while, silence binding them together, shoulders brushing every now and then, hesitant and questioning. Luke thinks about how Din had asked him to dance earlier, his lips tilted in a teasing, but achingly soft smile, and how his heart had pounded a tattoo to the shape of his ribs when they’d pushed up so close together, the fast, rowdy dances of the beginning of the night having faded to something lasting, something meaningful. Luke remembers the ball he’d run away from, how the dancing had been cold, almost jeering in a way, and Luke realizes how far he’s come, how different it is here. And suddenly, there isn’t a question in his mind anymore. He turns toward Din, who turns toward him, and when he leans forward, Din breathes an uncertain “Luke-”, but he doesn’t get to finish the thought. Luke kisses him, and he kisses back, and it’s just them. There are hands in hair and noses nudged together, and at some point, they move, without either of them releasing the other, into the house and into Din’s bedroom. Buttons are unbuttoned, and whole stretches of skin are kissed, and when it’s over, they curl up together, Din tucking his head into the crook of Luke’s neck and falling asleep there. 

When they wake up, Luke explains why he came here, why he ran away, all the while Din looks at him with his beautiful dark eyes and runs his hands through Luke’s hair, which is catching the sunlight filtering in through the window and making him look like he has a halo, all the while never once condemning him for keeping it a secret this whole time. After he’s finished, he expects some sort of shocked reaction-after all, his family’s pretty famous, but all Din does is kiss him and ask, “Wait, so you have a twin?” 

It’s so unexpected that Luke throws his head back and bursts into uncontrollable, and very contagious peals of laughter, and when he’s finally able to breathe again, he kisses Din’s forehead and murmurs, “I love you.” 

Din, who has been touch starved and lonely for years (no time for relationships when you’ve got a business to run and a toddler to raise), tears up and kisses him, too overwhelmed for words. But Luke understands.  

And then Grogu pushes his way into the room holding up a box of Frosted Flakes above his head and shaking it, as if to say, I’d like to eat now, please. 

Din and Luke stifle their smiles into the other’s shoulder, and when they get up, Luke can’t help but think that he’s finally where he belongs.

----

It takes approximately .5 seconds for all the others to figure out they’re together now, and Cara and Bo-Katan (of all people) start cheering immediately, to Din and Luke’s shock. Boba and Fennec grumble and begrudgingly hand over a huge wad of cash each to Cara and Bo-Katan because they thought it would take them at least another two weeks to get together. Din’s very done with his friends at this point, but he takes one look at Luke’s flustered but smiling face and decides he won’t kill them all this time. 

And if everyone thought Luke was a lot of excitement for a humble ranch in the middle of nowhere, then they are in no way, shape, or form, prepared for when his very angry twin sister shows up with a himbo with a shit-eating grin and his 7 foot tall best friend she hired to track her brother down. 

(needless to say, Boba punches Han within two minutes of interaction).

[hellowkatey]

Febuwhump Day 6

Prompt: Insomnia

Summary: The Disaster Lineage™ has a long history of being horrible at getting the sleep they need.

Read on AO3

Good Sleep is Hard to Find

"It's called insomnia, Obi-Wan," the Twilek healer looks unamused as she sits across from him. "And no, it's not normal."

Obi-Wan Kenobi doesn't particularly like going to the healers. In fact, he avoids them as much as he can. Unfortunately, in this case, Master Che cornered him as he left the training sala and practically dragged him by the ear to her office.

"It really is not too bad. I've grown accustomed to-"

"To what? Four hours of sleep? On a good night?" Master Che rolls her eyes. "You Jedi Knights are going to give me an aneurysm one day."

"I do hope not, Master. Then all of us would be walking around with untreated concussions and scantily wrapped blaster wounds."

She leans back in her chair, her bright blue eyes softening. "Yes, likely. Listen, I brought you here because your little late-night training sessions have found their way down the rumor mill. People are concerned for you."

Obi-Wan glances out the window at the darkened megapolis. He didn't think anyone knew he would go to the training rooms when he couldn't sleep. Though, nothing can really happen in this temple without every other knight and padawan hearing about it.

"I figured it was a good way to tire myself out."

"Well lucky for you, you won't have to do katas at three in the morning anymore," she reaches into her desk and slides two pill bottles across the table. Obi-Wan gingerly picks them up, looking up at her inquisitively. "One is a natural supplement. Think of it as your first line of defense. If you're not feeling tired at bedtime, take this first. It's the natural hormone your body produces to make you fall asleep. Very safe."

"Right. And this one?" he shakes the other. A flicker of a smirk appears on her lips.

"That's the good stuff. It should knock you right out, but only take one pill a night, max."

Seems easy enough. Obi-Wan looks between the two bottles, internally a little glad Master Che corralled him into here. He is not keen on drugs usually, but his current situation has become quite distressing... Maybe he'll finally get a decent sleep.

"And if neither work?" he asks, a little fearful of her answer.

"I'll be impressed if the second doesn't work, but I suppose I can teach your padawan how to do a proper sleep suggestion."

He points an accusatory finger at her. "You wouldn't dare!" The healer smiles fully now, shaking her head. As she looks at him longer, her smile fades again into sympathy.

"Obi-Wan, I do hope you plan on using these medicines. Insomnia is very common, and you are certainly not the only Jedi Knight on this regimen."

He sighs, clutching the bottles in his fist. "I just don't understand why I can't sleep, I suppose. Anakin tires me out his fair share, and I feel exhausted, I just can't seem to actually sleep."

"Well," she shifts in her seat. "It tends to get worse in times of stress-- like having a teenage padawan... or when processing trauma."

Red. So much red, and the sight of a lightsaber through Qui-Gon's abdomen flashes through his mind. He blinks away the image, though he knows it will be there in his dreams anyway. It always is. But he isn't here to discuss that, even if Master Che seems insistent on doing a full exam on him while she has him trapped in the halls.

"Right, well," he stands. "I should let you get your own sleep and try to get some of my own."

She looks a little disappointed as he pines for the door but she stands and they bow goodbye. "I don't want to hear about any more nighttime training sessions, Knight Kenobi. I have eyes and ears everywhere, you know."

He smiles. "Yes, Master Che, I understand."

Yet somewhere between the Halls of Healing and Obi-Wan's apartment, he seems to forget their understanding. He sits on his bed, staring at the bottles in either hand. The morning will be upon Coruscant in a short few hours, and he can't risk being knocked out and missing morning meditation and training with Anakin. He sets the bottle of sleeping pills on his side table and looks at the supplements. She claimed these were natural, only a mild aid... perhaps he can at least try these for his few hours of sleep.

They go down easy with water, and he lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling. His muscles are still buzzing from hours of repeating kata after kata, honing his acrobatics, and dueling with the training droids. It baffles him how his body can feel so exhausted but he doesn't find a wink of sleep. The reality of his sleeplessness is a number barely present in the back of his mind. He tries not to think about it as the hours tick up. Twenty-four hours. Thirty-six hours. Forty. Fifty. Sixty.

The worst part is he is trying to sleep. Truly. He wants nothing more than for his head to hit the pillow and to blink out of consciousness for a good six hours or so. But to no avail. He envies the other knights who have taught themselves to sleep whenever they can, wherever they can. In the deep wells of the Temple windows, pilot chairs of ships, standing up in some cases. Sometimes he is tempted to ask them their secret, but he suspects that just like he is wired to be awake forevermore, they are made to find their rest.

Everything is the will of the Force, isn't it? Qui-Gon always told him there was a reason for everything. A plan that he may not be able to see now, but later he will. His greatest comfort has always been that there will one day be a purpose for the agony he goes through. One day it will all make sense.

He closes his eyes. Maybe that will help. He doesn't feel drowsy but he isn't sure if he is supposed to with this supplement.

Obi-Wan can feel the edges of sleep nearby. He tries to grab them, hang onto the feeling of spiraling into blissful unconsciousness, but it's like a switch he can't reach. He rolls to his side, squeezing his eyes shut again. Tries to push out every thought from his mind, but somehow thinking about how he needs to think about nothing is more occupying to his mind than actually thinking about anything else.

So he lies there. Switches to his other side. Back to his back. Experiments with lying on his stomach, and decides it cranes his neck too much. And when he finds himself on his back for the third time he realizes the light has slowly crept into his room and Anakin's alarm is blaring on the other side of their apartment.

He sighs. Sits up and rubs his eyes. Fifty-five hours.

Obi-Wan struggles his way through their meditation. His heavy intake of caff made him jittery and his lack of sleep made getting a good grasp on the Force difficult. Even Anakin seemed to notice his lack of propriety, which only made Obi-Wan feel worse. After lunchtime, Obi-Wan goes to one of his knight elective courses. It's saber training concentrating on Form III, which he usually enjoys, but today he lingers near the back of the group. His vision is starting to get hazy, and things look as though they are moving when he knows they aren't. After getting hit by three training bolts that he should have been able to deflect, he decides to bench himself for the remainder of the class.

He has a feeling this will get back to Master Che, but he doesn't care anymore.

Anakin is back from his own classes when he gets back to his apartment. The padawan is lounging on the couch with a datapad balanced on his knees. When he sees Obi-Wan come through the door, he jumps up.

"Master you're back!" he says with more enthusiasm than Obi-Wan is used to from his teenage apprentice.

"Anakin, hello," he says, raising an eyebrow and glancing around the apartment. "What did you break?"

Anakin crosses his arms. "Why do you think I broke something?"

Obi-Wan sets down his training bag by the door. "Just a feeling, I suppose."

"Well a wrong feeling, Master," he says, walking with long strides into the kitchen. Yes, he is definitely up to something.

Anakin pulls out two plates, each with sandwiches stacked tall with meat. Obi-Wan also suddenly realizes the kettle is on the stove and two mugs are sitting out, prepped with tea bags.

"I asked one of the Masters what kinds of food help people go to sleep. They said turkey and chamomile tea are good," Anakin looks up at him hesitantly. "I thought maybe some turkey sandwiches and tea for dinner may help you... you know. Sleep better."

Obi-Wan feels like he might cry. He blames it on the sleep deprivation but seeing the effort Anakin put into a problem he had no idea his padawan even picked up on touches him. The boy can be a terror sometimes, but Qui-Gon was right about his kindness. Obi-Wan smiles, walking up to the fourteen-year-old and squeezing his shoulder.

"This looks wonderful, Anakin. I have been having some sleep troubles, and I'm sorry if I worried you."

"When I can't sleep I like to try to tire myself out. Have you tried that, Master?"

He smiles softly. More than you know, young one. "Unfortunately, Master Che was not too happy with that method. She gave me some medication to help, instead."

Anakin takes a big bite of his sandwich, making a face. "That's not as fun."

Obi-Wan takes his own bite of the sandwich that is quite literally stacked with turkey. It might be half a bird here alone. "That's what I told her, too."

Anakin laughs, jumping up to grab the screeching kettle and finish preparing the tea. Sixty-four hours now, but this time he has a good feeling about resetting the clock for tomorrow. The master and apprentice enjoy the rest of their meal, and then Obi-Wan retires to his room. With his belly full of comfort food and tea, he actually feels the long-lost tug of drowsiness enticing him to bed. Even with such a feeling, he picks up the medication that Master Che prescribed him.

Without adequate sleep, he can't be the Master Anakin needs him to be. The boy deserves all that and more. Obi-Wan swallows the sleeping pill without another thought and lies back in bed. It takes only a few minutes for him to drift into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

__________

A scream is caught in his throat as Anakin is forcibly thrown out of his nightmare. He chokes on it, coughing a few times to clear his throat and then wiping the cold sweat off his brow and upper lip. It's pitch black in the room, but he waits a moment to turn on the light. Sometimes, when he just lets his eyes adjust naturally he can pretend for a few moments that he's anywhere other than the cold quarters of a star destroyer. He can be back on Coruscant, in Padmé's comfortable bed with the weight of her comforters pressing him into the mattress. Or in their lake country villa on Naboo, her body wrapped around him with the sound of running water nearby. Sometimes he is back with his mother, her fingers rifling through his hair soothingly as she lulls him back to sleep.

Anywhere where he isn't alone on a bunk harder than durasteel. Sometimes he thinks he'd rather sleep on the dunes of Tatooine than his bunk. (Obi-Wan usually tells him to stop being dramatic when he goes that far.)

But these little divergences are enough to lull him out of the panic of his dreams and into a better state of mind. By the time his eyes do adjust to the blank walls and regulation furniture he can decide whether or not he will be returning to sleep for the night.

They've been getting worse lately. The dreams. They happen nearly every night now. Not always the same thing, like before his mother's death, but always intense and horrific. Always making him wake up close to tears or worry that he's been screaming and Ahsoka or Obi-Wan will come bursting in at any moment. Sometimes he is calm enough to put going back to sleep to chance. Other times he prefers to just accept a day without sleep.

Obi-Wan would kill him if he knew. Ahsoka gives him enough trouble when he yawns his way through briefing meetings, so he's surprised she hasn't tattled on him yet. Or maybe she has, and the old man has decided it would be hypocritical to nag him about it. Obi-Wan isn't exactly known for his healthy sleep schedules either.

He doesn't have good feelings about sleep tonight. His heart is still racing and he can still see a horrific scene of Ahsoka sobbing with a lifeless Obi-Wan in her arms, blood is trickling out of his nose and ears, and eyes glossy and set. It's a moment he's seen a few times. Sometimes Obi-Wan is already dead and other times he's falling and Anakin is running frantically to save him.

He never makes it.

Tonight was no different.

Anakin turns on the light and slips on a pair of trousers. His hair is a mess, per usual, but running his fingers through it a few times seems to do the trick. He still has to squint as he steps out into the hallway. The fluorescent lights of the ship are about as harsh as staring straight into a star, but it wakes him up as good as a cup of caff. It's the middle of the nightshift, but the halls are still just as busy as usual. Since there is no distinct day or night in the middle of deep space, they are just suggestions to ensure people actually sleep.

It's not as comforting as taking walks around the sleeping Temple when he can't sleep. There is a blissfulness to being awake when the rest of the planet isn't that Anakin finds refreshing from the usual bustle of the day. The best he can find is the mess, where only a few troopers sit around at the tables with cups of caff or snacks.

Anakin helps himself to his own cup, pouring a decent amount of sugar in for good measure. He settles down at a table with his datapad. Maybe this time he'll actually get his council report in on time, at least. He spends the next hour or so filling out his paperwork and working up a decent collection of caff cups and snack wrappers. By the time he reaches his last assigned task, the dinner rush has begun for the night-shifters.

"General Skywalker?" he looks up to see Rex standing with his own cup of caff in hand. Anakin gives him a friendly smile.

"Oh hey, Rex, what are you doing up?"

"Could ask you the same, sir," he sits down on the bench, eyeing the four other empty cups strewn about.

"Paperwork. Couldn't sleep."

The corner of Rex's mouth upturns in a half-smile. "More and more like General Kenobi, every day."

"Don't even joke like that, Rex, I would never hear the end of it," he says, though a small part of his mind curses that the captain is actually right. Using paperwork as an excuse to avoid sleep? He might as well grow a beard and have a Core accent.

"Only joking, of course, sir."

"So what's your excuse?"

"My excuse?"

"Our first call isn't for another few hours, and I've never seen you up and about at this time."

Rex takes a long sip from his drink. Stalling, it seems.

"To be frank, sir, ever since Umbara I tend to... wake up earlier."

Anakin searches the clone captain's face, and suddenly he recognizes it. The dark circles and bloodshot eyes are faint, but definitely there.

"The dreams keep you up?" he asks casually. Anakin has always liked Rex because he isn't afraid to be more candid around him. He has the respect of a leader, but he isn't so uptight about his rank. Through their time working closely together, they have actually begun to be somewhat of friends. At least, Anakin considers Rex to be a friend.

The clone looks up at him with surprise. "Well, sometimes, yes. How did you--"

"Like I said, I'm not Obi-Wan. Paperwork doesn't keep me up at night."

It feels good to actually admit it aloud to someone. To be able to say he's having bad dreams without getting a lecture from his master or getting watched like a hawk by his padawan. Especially if Rex is having the same issue.

They let this revelation blanket around them as they continue to sip on their caff. Even with six cups in his system, Anakin's body feels heavy and fatigued. It takes much longer to complete the last form with the amount of time he has to read and reread things to make sure he is understanding it right. His vision keeps blurring as though he is on the verge of falling asleep.

That's something Anakin has never had a problem with-- falling asleep. It takes him mere minutes to close his eyes and fall into a deep sleep. It's just the damned dreams that wake him up and ruin his rest.

"Uh, sir?" he hears through a clearing throat. Anakin opens his eyes and realizes he has dozed off with his forehead on the datapad. He smiles away the embarrassment, shaking his head.

"This caff sucks."

"You know they have decaf out after lunch right?"

He blinks. "Decaff?" Anakin says it as though it's a word in a foreign language.

"Yes, you have to request for a pot of regular. New health initiative started in the last month or so to improve... sleep."

The Jedi general crosses his arms over his chest. "And nobody told me?"

"I suppose they thought the label on the pot sufficed."

He glances over at the caff machine and, in fact, there is a label reading DECAF. Fair enough. He looks back at Rex, who is passively amused by all of this.

"Kix has too much power. It's going to go to his head."

Rex smiles, shaking his head but not disagreeing. Now disgusted by his caff, the knight casts aside the half-empty cup. The lack of caffeine definitely explains why he is still so tired.

"I should be going to prep for the morning briefing, then," Rex says, standing up and grabbing his bucket from the bench. He downs the remainder of his coffee and tucks his helmet under his arms. "Thanks for the company, though, general."

"Anytime. I suppose I will see you at the update."

"Oh right," Rex says, pausing and looking back down at him. "I have messages for you. General Kenobi commed to let you know they have postponed the update meeting to tomorrow. And we will be in hyperspace another full day before arriving at our check-in point."

He does the mental gymnastics of cycling through his schedule and realizes his entire day is clear of meetings. A day off? That is about as rare as Ahsoka not being snippy. He even has his paperwork done now so...

"Well in that case, maybe I will take the decaf as a sign and... take a nap." He can feel his mind more clear now. Usually, that means he can manage a few good hours without another nightmare if he has any at all. Though he was adamant about not wanting to go back to bed a few hours ago, suddenly laying down sounds amazing.

Rex smiles. "Very good, sir. I will be sure to comm you if we need anything, of course."

The clone captain walks off, and Anakin looks around at his little collection of trash, tired and a little dumbfounded.

He has a sudden suspicious feeling Ahsoka hasn't been tattling to Obi-Wan, but to Rex. Anakin smiles to himself, shakes his head, and gathers up his things to go back for some extra shut-eye.

__________

When Ahsoka can't sleep, she pulls her old Jedi cloak out of her closet. It's not something she wears anymore-- not for a long time at this point-- but it is something she has kept close to her ever since going on the run from the Empire.

There is just something about that thick, wooly fabric that is like a security blanket when she encases herself in it. It still smells like a mix of the standard-issue laundry detergent and engine oil. She can run her fingers along the hem, recognizing the familiar fray on the right sleeve that she used to pick at when she was nervous, or the hole that Master Kenobi had to patch three separate times in the pocket. There is a burnt edge on the hood where Anakin managed to nick it with his saber, and sometimes the tip of her montral would peek out.

Today she can't sleep, and she isn't sure why. Sometimes, she has these periods of time where falling asleep and staying asleep are more difficult than they should be. She suspects it has something to do with stress, which she has plenty of, all the time. The cloak always seems to help, so she grabs it. It always reminds her of Master Obi-Wan and his habit of losing his own cloaks. When she pulls it around herself it feels like a hug from Anakin. And when she closes her eyes she pretends she is in another time and another place. A time when her mentors watched over her and protected her and she wasn't so alone.

A part of her thinks that somewhere in the Force they are still looking over her. It is a Jedi teaching that she still holds a belief in that in death all are returned to the Force... Which means the same energy field that surrounds her and binds her is Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Plo Koon. Every other Jedi that didn't make it through Order 66. Though the thought of their deaths brings a deep sadness she still cannot quite process, it also reminds her that when she wraps the Force around herself she isn't as alone as she feels. Sleep comes easier.

[padawan-jiejie]

My Choice [3 / 3]

Summary: You are Anakin’s twin sister and Mace Windu’s apprentice with forbidden kind of interest in Master Kenobi. You’re there to witness your brother’s turn to the Dark side and have trouble dealing with the consequences. Five years later, you visit Obi-Wan on Tatooine…

PART 1   |   PART 2

Word Count: 5.8k

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, ptsd talk, talk about regrets, angsty!reader, but also comforting!Obi and fluffy!Obi and baby!Luke + one more character has a cameo and overly fluffy ending  the reader is a bit of a crybaby in this one, sorry

A/N: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG - I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE!!! Also I haven’t read the comic about Obi-Wan and his time on Tatooine so… I just hope all of you are doing the best you can and enjoy 💖💖💖

Tagged:  @retrobhaddie​ @multi-madison​ @treestarrrrrrrr  @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lysawayne

Five long years since the tragedy of the Jedi. Since their failure and the purge. After all those years, here you were. Flying in your stolen ship, fleeing away from your inevitable destiny. You ran out of supplies and had to take a break, stop somewhere safe. You had a planet in mind, it was close and you were certain no one from the Empire would be looking for you there if you don’t stay for long. It was the hole of the universe after all. But somethin- no, someone was calling for you to land there. So you set the coordinations to Tatooine. You used your connection to the Force to find the perfect place to hide your ship nearest the pull you sensed. You shut down all systems and took a deep breath. For the first time in years, you would step into the harsh, dry and sandy grounds of the planet you were born on. It wasn’t your home for a long time and you felt bitter and nostalgic looking outside. Yet as you were sitting there in the cockpit, you saw a familiar cloak walking towards your position from behind a mountain. At that moment, all your worries and doubts faded like a mist.

You ran out as fast as you could and stayed staring at the figure few feet away from you. Your heart was beating quickly from the excitement and when he pulled his hood off and looked directly into your eyes, it definitely felt like coming back home.

“Y/N?”

“Obi-Wan…”

Your voices were nothing but a whisper. A whisper that told a million words and more. Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing there in front of you and it was like yesterday when you said your last goodbyes. And he was stunned. He came to the conclusion that it was very likely he would never see you again in his lifetime after Order 66. He never quite made his peace with that and couldn’t believe in what was happening. He thought he was hallucinating. There you were, in all your beauty and grace. Your y/h/c hair was messy, y/e/c eyes red from fatigue and your brown robes dusty. Even like that you still managed to look as elegant as always.

Kenobi took a hesitant step towards you, fearing that you might disappear any second. You didn’t. He took another step closer and you jumped into his arms.

“I’ve missed so much, Obi-Wan!” You blurted out as tears of joy started streaming down your face. You held onto him tightly and sobbed and cried your heart out. As he came to reality, he too embraced you and buried his face in your neck. It wasn’t just a dream. You were indeed here. In his arms. Right where you belong.

“Y/N… I am so happy you’re actually here. You can’t imagine how bad it was being alone like this!” He lifted you up and spun around before putting you back on your feet.

You dried your tears, while he was holding you close to him by your waist. “Master Jedi, I… You… Just… Me…” You spent hours thinking about all the things you wanted to talk about with him but now as you finally had the chance to express yourself, your own mouth was failing you. You could not even make up one proper sentence.

“I-I’m… Umm… It’s been so long.”

“I know, I was afraid I would never see you again. I’m so glad that will not be the case.” He said with a blissful expression. You smiled at him and he kissed your forehead, sending a warm feeling to rush through your body.

“Obi… I could sense you. With the Force, I sensed you. I think.”

“I sensed you too. That’s why I came. I thought I was losing my mind. What would you be doing here, right? But now I see that my senses have not abandoned me yet.”

“No, they are still pretty decent.”

“Oh, decent you say? Well, what are you doing here anyway? I guess you’re not just stopping by to say hello to an old friend.”

“Actually, I ran out of supplies so I need to get some food and stuff. And I think I need to check this beauty for any damage.”

Obi-Wan frowned and touched his beard. “That is not the ship Bail Organa had given you. What happened to it and how did you get this one? It looks ancient.”

“Yeah, you really don’t wanna know how I got that. Maybe I’ll tell you later but it’s a long story that I don’t wanna get into right now.”

“If you think that would be for the best, I’ll leave it be. But come on. We’ll go to my little house and I’ll get you something to eat.”

“That would be so nice! I am starving! Um, but I shouldn’t leave her here unguarded.”

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing will happen to it. Trust me. And if anything does happen, I have my methods of getting it back.”

“Alright then. But um, I actually call her Soka. Because of the blue and white stripe there on the side.” Obi-Wan paused for a second, then smiled. With one of his arms around your shoulders, you two walked over to the house that he was apparently now living in. The place looked poor and you couldn’t help but think about the Jedi quarters you spent half your life in.

“That’s a whole another level, Kenobi. Even for you.”

“There wasn’t really much to be picking from.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’ll get you some soup.”

You sat down near a tiny window and pulled your legs to your chest. The heat reminded you of your childhood. How you used to help your mom with cleaning, cooking and then would go to play with Anakin and the other local children. Looking back at it now, you could tell that as much as it sucked, those were good times. Just you, your mamma and your big brother Ani. You signed at the thought, pictures from the past running through your head. Padmé, the handmaidens, Qui-Gon and young Obi-Wan with his cute padawan braid. He certainly did not enjoy it when you hopped next to him and started playing with it, asking him questions why is he letting grow only so small piece of his hair. A sad smiled appeared on your lips as you remembered the moment you met. He didn’t really believe in neither you or Ani and none of you could see how important you would become for each other. What a wonderful team you would make in the future. It wasn’t fair that it all fell apart out of nowhere.

“Here you go,” Obi-Wan said, holding out a bowl of soup, waking you up from your trance.

“Thank you.”

After you finished your meal and your stomach felt better and you and Obi-Wan were sitting next to each other, both trying to get a grasp of this situation. You haven’t seen each other in 5 years and it didn’t look like you accomplished much. Quite the opposite. Former Jedi Master looked dragged from his current life, you could see the wrinkles forming on his face. He looked a lot older now. For you, it was your eyes. Obi-Wan remembered how they would always light up whenever you had some crazy idea or simply when you were happy and oh, how he loved your smile! Your eyes had a sparkle in them whenever you smiled or laughed. Now? Your eyes felt cold, tired and filled with sorrow. As if you’ve grown tougher during the time of your separation. He pointed that out.

“That’s because I had to grow up. Suddenly I had no one to look after me and as you know my entire life I had someone by my side. Whether that be my mom, my brother or my master or… Padmé or you. Life had been hard on me, Obi. That’s just how it is. In my core, I feel the same but on the outside, I lost a lot of my faith. But don’t play it on me. You’re damaged too.”

“I am not denying that.”

“Speaking of which, how do you like living on Tatooine?”

He laughed. “Like isn’t the word I would use. More like tolerate. But as you can see, I manage. Nobody’s visiting but sometimes I go to check up on Luke - much to your step-brother’s distaste when he notices me.”

Obi-Wan would swear on the Force that as he mentions Luke’s name, for a split second your eyes filled with that spark he thought you lost. Maybe you weren’t that doomed after all.

“Luke? My nephew? How is he? Is he tall already? I mean, I know, he’s 5 but is he okay? Are they taking good care of him?”

“Not to worry, milady. They are maybe too protective of him but he’s not actually lacking anything. He’s in good hands.”

“What does he look like? Does he have brown hair like Padmé or is he blonde?”

Obi-Wan was amused by your interest in your nephew. He knew you would ask him about Luke but he didn’t realise how eager you would be to find out more about him. “As far as I am concerned, he is blonde. He’s just like his father with blue eyes and I am sure he’s going to be an excellent pilot. Not like someone.” He gave you a side-glace and you looked at him in disbelieve. Is he really challenging me like this?

“Of course! Make fun of my flying skills! You know, I got better since the Clone Wars and I no longer crash-land as you could see back there.”

“I am never going to forget the moment when you almost killed us while landing and Anakin turned at me and said: ‘See, master? And you complain about my flying!’ I will always remember the face you made! And you didn’t want to talk to us the entire day.”

“You two totally deserved it! Don’t try to sugar-code it!”

“Silent treatment never resolved anything, Y/N. Besides, you could have us all killed.”

“No, we are not going down that road. I did save you so shut it, Jedi! I too have some tricks up my sleeve - you are not as perfect as you think you are.”

“Oh is that so? I thought I was being completely irresistible!”

Your body unintentionally reacted with a flush on your cheeks to his statement. Mostly because it was absolutely true and thanks to the fact that you ran out of ideas of how to out-sass him, you just proclaimed: “Okay, I give up.”

“And what were you doing this whole time? I suppose, you still don’t want to tell me the story behind the ship.”

“Well, no. But I was mostly just moving around the Outer Rim. Nothing too special. I wanted to stay off the radar for as long as possible and I think I was quite good at it. You know, putting my stealth-mastery into practice once again. You wouldn’t be proud of me though. I tried to be true to what I was taught since I was nine. To be a good person and to protect peace in the places I went to and I tried to suppress my emotions about all this but… I couldn’t do that. I thought that the Republic were the good guys and I thought that the Jedi, although not exactly always right, were too the good guys. We had each other’s back and now all of that is gone and call me stupid or naive for having hart time adjusting to that. Sometimes it just gets too rough and too much to take, knowing that all of what I was fighting for tumbled down… I’m sorry, it’s just been getting to me lately.”

Obi-Wan put a hand on your shoulder. “I understand. It wasn’t easy for neither of us but it was worse for you. I know how miserable you were when Yoda told you that you should stay out of Luke and Leia’s lives.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s bothering me.”

“What is it then? I am here, you can talk to me about anything. I might not have the solution but I am listening. If that’s enough?”

You were tense. How would you tell him this? How were you supposed to say it out loud? You could still see it in front of your eyes and it was haunting you in your dreams. Never in a million years would you thought that this would happen. After all that you’ve been through you thought he knew better and a part of you still felt like he didn’t deserve it. You closed your eyes to calm yourself down.

You swallowed. “Have you felt… something? Even if it was just in the back of your head…Do you know anything about Anakin?”

Now Obi-Wan knew what you meant. His hand rubbed your back as he sighed. He heard about him a couple of weeks ago. Anger, sadness and helplessness were boiling inside him. He thought Anakin died on Mustafar and when he overheard that Darth Vader was actually causing some problems out there in the Galaxy, he was horrified.

“I found out some time ago. I couldn’t believe it.”

You bit on your lip to stop the sobs coming out from your throat. Salty water blurred your vision. Your heart was aching. You somehow always felt that he wasn’t killed, the feeling of your brother was still present but to learn that he is now a huge threat in the galaxy was not only shocking but also tragic and traumatizing. You blinked and teardrops fell down. You quickly brushed them away and took three deeps breaths.

“Forgive me my sentiment but… It’s hard to deal with that because I remember all those times during the Clone Wars and despite the fact that it was a war, it was actually… Some of the best time of my life. We lost our friends, we were shaken and not once and we risked our lives for a better cause and we were heroes thanks to that but we… We had each other. Me, Anakin, Padmé and you. Even Ahsoka and Rex and Cody! It felt like a family. Yeah, a very dysfunctional family but… It was something to let you know where you belong… Where home is. If I wasn’t on a mission with Ani and Snips, I’d be with Padmé or you, just having the time of my life. It wasn’t perfect but if I knew what was to come, I would certainly more appreciate it then! Now I just…” You covered your face in your palms, crying. “I wish I could just forget that this is happening.” Echoed your voice from behind your hands.

Kenobi felt your despair and pulled you into him, letting you cry your feelings out while holding you in his arms. He himself didn’t exactly process the events yet, but he knew that you needed his support right now much more than he needed yours. He waited for you for five long years and he was ready to wait for next 50 if it meant he could see you one more time. Now he didn’t want to make your issues seem smaller because he felt betrayed too. He wanted to help you get through this so he kept on rocking you back and forward until you looked up. He caressed your cheek and lightly kissed your forehead. He was well aware of what your supposed family meant for you so he decided to let you feel like you still have at least a part of it. Because you do. Dispite his Jedi teaching, he would never let you go.

“Tomorrow I’m going to take you to see Luke. Owen will probably throw us out but if it is going to help you, I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it, Y/N.”

You melted into his embrace and listened to his heartbeat. He was a soothing presence to you. He’s always been. After getting over your depressive emotions, you found a warm feeling creeping up from inside you. You buried it deep down so it wouldn’t bring you pain while you and Obi were apart. As you were so close there, it was coming back up to the surface. This time, though, there was no Code, no Jedi Council, no forbidden attachments to make you feel wrong about what you felt. Obi-Wan sensed this change in mood and smiled to himself. He felt it coming back too.

After you both showered - separately, may I add, we’re not there yet - and changed into more comfortable clothes, you decided to go to sleep. He insisted you keep the bed to which you replied: “Obi-Wan, there’s no way you’re sleeping on the floor and I want to feel like I am not alone in here so just… Are you up for cuddles? Please? I need my cuddling buddy back.”

He just shook his head in amusement and didn’t say anything. He couldn’t reject you at this point. Not to mention that when you were together on missions to deal with some Jedi business with no one around, snuggles were on a daily basis. Although I must say, there was one time when Anakin appeared out of the blue, saw you two getting way too close for friends and wouldn’t shut up about it for a week. It was kind of cue though.

Obi-Wan tugged himself under the sheets next to you on his not-so-comfortable bed and lay on his back. You put your arm around him and placed your head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and calming. Even though you were tired, you couldn’t close your eyes to fall asleep. You had to wonder what is Luke like and what will you feel when you see him. You held him once when he was born and couldn’t help but wonder if he is Force-sensitive too. It would be only logical.

“Obi-Wan?”

“Umhm…”

“Do you think that Luke and Leia should be raised to be Jedi?”

“Well, I hope so. I don’t know about Leia but Luke is so much like Anakin when he was a child, it would surprise me if he wouldn’t grow up to be one.”

“Who’s going to show him?”

“I am. If you’ll stay, you can help.”

You tighten your grip around him. “I don’t know. The problem is that I and Ani had such a bond through the Force and I still feel him and I fear that if I stay here, he may be able to find me.”

“Why would he come back to the planet that represents everything he despises? Slavery, his mother’s death, sand.”

“I know but he had the chance to kill me before as a Vader and he didn’t. What if the Sith have some plans with me? What if they want me to turn to the Dark side?”

“I highly doubt that would happen.” He protectively put his arms around you. “Mace Windu taught you about the Dark side and when they could turn you to it completely, they had no interest in doing that. Why would they suddenly change their minds?”

“I don’t know. I guess you’re right but the possibility of hurting you or Luke is making me go nuts.”

“I understand that but again, Anakin knew that even with your knowledge of the Force and with our feelings for each other being strictly against the Code, you stayed loyal to the Order. Even now when things are so uncivilized, you still decided not to turn, that shows your strength and even if Vader senses you, he will see that.”

“You mean he would rather kill me than try to turn me? Yeah, cool, can’t wait.”

“You know what I meant. You don’t need to worry about him. If he comes, which he won’t, he’ll have to get over me first, anyway.” He kissed your hair and whispered: “Good night, my love.”

You spent so much time in space and on cold planets that now walking around the sands of Tatooine was an absolute horror. You were sweating and thirsty and the two suns high on the sky were blinding your vision. You and Obi were on your way to Owen and Beru’s moisture farm. You never saw or met them but Ani told you about them. He blamed them a little bit for not searching for Shmi and you couldn’t help but feel the same. You were sure they were good people but at the same time maybe if they did something more, your mom would be still alive. You knew these thoughts were not the Jedi way but let’s face it, you and your brother were never the perfect examples of the Jedi.

Obi-Wan stopped and pointed into the distance where you could see a small dot on the horizon.

“That is where they live but maybe you should go on your own. Owen isn’t really fond of me and if you arrive alone and say that you are his step-sister, he’s probably gonna let you in. I’ll wait for you somewhere here.”

“Okay. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome but umm, I changed my name.”

“You changed your name? To what?”

“I call myself Ben Kenobi now.”

You sighed. “Satine used to call you that.”

He just nodded and you smiled at him. She meant so much for him when they were young that you understood why he did that. He wanted to pay her some tribute. Besides, you would have done the same if you were at his place.

“Well, Ben, wish me luck.”

He squizzed your hand and started to walk away. You swallowed and walked the other way, towards your distant family house. You were nervous and excited at the same time. You desperately wanted to meet Luke but you didn’t know what would Owen and Beru think about you being there. As you almost reached your destination, a sight in front of you made you stop in your tracks. There was a little blonde boy sitting in sand playing with some droid parts. He didn’t seem to notice you so you stood there amazed. He looked exactly like his father. You felt tears of happiness mixed with nostalgia burn in your eyes. You covered your mouth as Luke’s toy fell apart and he mumbled under his breath. You sniffed and made your way to where he was sat.

Luke turned around startled. “Hello. Who are you?”

“Hi…” you whispered, gaining strength to speak more. “Umm, you’re Luke Skywalker, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. But I asked you first.” He made a grimace of childish anger and you had to smile. You dropped to his level and held out your hand. “My name is Y/N Skywalker.”

His expression changed. Obviously he knew that name and kept on wandering his eyes between your hand and your face. 

“You are my dad’s sister?”

You nodded.

“Uncle and aunt told me about you. They said you would never come.” He took your hand and held onto it.

“I am sorry. For everything. I am so sorry, Luke. You were supposed to live with your parents somewhere else and enjoying your life very differently.”

“I like it here.” He was genuine but you knew that one day this place would be too tiny for him.

“Okay.” You stroke his cheek and you sensed the Force in him but he pulled away.

“I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”

That hurt. You were a stranger. He didn’t know you and even if you loved your nephew so much, this was the first time he saw you.

“That’s right, you shouldn’t. I hope that one day I won’t be a stranger to you anymore but for now… It was lovely to meet you, Luke.”

“Sure. It was lovely to meet you too, umm…Should I call aunt Y/N?”

“That’d be great.”

“What would be great?” 

Both your heads shot up as you heard a voice. There was a man with scruffy in grey robes and he looked mad.

“Luke, come here.”

“It’s okay, uncle. This is Y/N. She’s my dad’s sister. You told me about her.”

You stood up and Owen frowned at you. He shook your hand, though he was suspicious.

“Luke is telling the truth. I am Anakin Skywalker’s sister and just came to say hello. I never had a chance to properly meet him and I stopped by and I couldn’t go without meeting my nephew. You too. From what I understand, you are my step-brother. Thank you for taking care of the boy.”

Owen crossed his arms over his chest. “Kenobi told you where to find us?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No. I’m glad that we finally met but I don’t want your Jedi stuff anywhere near Luke. His parents had life bad enough and I don’t want him to get hurt like they and you did.”

You blinked confused. You sensed Luke’s connection to the Force and you knew he would become aware of it sooner or later. “We got burned. Many times, I admit but neither Ben Kenobi nor I mean any harm to him or to you.”

“I believe you. On the other hand, why add insult to injury?”

A sandstorm was raging outside. You were supposed to be on your way by now but something always came into it, making it impossible for you to leave the planet. You’ve been living with Obi-Wan for 9 days now and as much as you were scared something unfortunate was going to happen because of your sibling bond, you couldn’t deny how your mood improved over time. You finally had a moment to breathe, to live, to drop the worries because when he was around simply being himself, it was so easy to forget the reality. It would come back to hit you later but when he was telling you stories, he heard in the Mos Eisley Cantina and you two would laugh, it didn’t matter. When you two cooked and tried to combine both of your (anti)talents, sometimes it resulted in friendly arguments and spilt tea. At night, you would fall asleep in each other’s arms only to wake up to the warmth of the body next to you and the calming feeling of safety. If there would be anyone to witness it, they’d say they’re watching a married couple doing normal things. It felt right being there, being like that, although it was a bit strange at first. It made you feel wanted, welcomed and loved. It gave you a sense of much-needed belonging. Little did you know that Obi-Wan felt the same.

It was already late at night but you couldn’t sleep and the sandstrom made you feel uncomfortable. It had been 15 years since the last time you experienced one and you didn’t like remembering it. It brought up old fears to the surface. Lucky for you, though, former Jedi Master managed to stay up as well to keep you company.

“Will you finally tell me where did you get the ship?”

You smirked. “From a friend.”

“A friend? What friend?”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“I am not! I am just… curious.”

You turned to sit on the bed face to face with him. “We’re not the only survivors of the Purge. There are more Jedi in the galaxy.”

“I knew we couldn’t be the only ones!” His eyes filled with hope.

“I met a guy called Kal Cestis. He was a padawan when it happened. He helped me to get my new ship. Not exactly new but better than nothing since my original one broke down.”

“Hmm… Interesting. Do you know anything about Ahsoka?”

“Unfortunately no. I haven’t seen her anywhere. Not that I’ve been to many places but if she’s alive, she’s hidden well.”

“I don’t think she gave up like that. She must be somewhere out there.”

“I really hope that she is. I miss her.”

“We both do,” Obi replied and caressed your cheek. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. It was an intimate moment that you decided to delve into.

Obi-Wan was watching you, trying to print this image in his memory. He never wanted to forget you and the way you made him feel. It was precious and sacred to him. You were captivating, graceful and he was thanking the Force every day for bringing you back into his miserable life. He didn’t deserve you and yet he never wanted to let go off you. He couldn’t. He knew it was selfish of him to want you all for himself but he was too attached.

“Y/N?”

“Um?” You opened your eyes to look into his. You were cantured by his intense gaze and your lips parted. You weren’t used to him staring at you like that as if you were the most devine creature in the galaxy and your cheeks turned the deepest shade of pink.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your stomach flipped and your held your breath for a second. You blinked several times before placing your hand over his, still resting on your cheek. “Yes.” was a simple word but there was so much more behind it.

Obi-Wan lowered his head to your level and cupped your face to pull you to him. You couldn’t believe it. After so many years of loving this man and having to hide it, you were able to finally express it. You waited for him to softly press his lips to yours. It was sweet, slow and filled with so much emotion. All of the unsaid ‘I love you’s, all of the suppressed feelings, all of it finally blossemed into this special moment. Electricity ran through both of you at the slight touch. It was new and you couldn’t quite put a finger on this feeling inside you. It was your first kiss after all! Obi-Wan was your first crush, first love, now first kiss and most definitelly he was going to be your first also in another way.

He pulled away to see your reactions but you didn’t let him. Your hands shifted to his neck and brought him back to you. He started kissing you properly this time and let himself loose. Deepening the kiss, he found himself hovering over you and soon you were lying under him. You both laughed as your back hit the bed. He kissed you one more time and lay down onto his side next to you. You stared in his eyes that reflected all the kindness in the world.

“Y/N, I know where you stand, I know Master Yoda told you to stay away from Luke and Leia and I know that you’re afraid what would happen if you stay here longer but please. We’ll figure it out somehow… I love you, Y/N. I have for years now.” He brushed your hair out of your forehead and played with it for a while. “I can’t let you go after this. I won’t. I wanted to be with you for so long and now that we are finally allowed to be ourselves freely, I am begging not to go. Please.” 

“I have already made up my mind and I am not backing up.”

He kissed the tip of your nose to shut you and took your hand in his. “Yes. It is up to you in the end. I can’t make decisions for you, I know. I don’t want you to go but the last thing that I do want is to be forcing you into something. Even if you'll leave… I promise that I will wait for you. I have waited ages, I can wait a little longer. I’d really rather not but you are worth it, stars.”

“Obi-Wan…”

He smiled sadly and it broke your heart. He was giving you freedom even when he was lonely. He was fully aware of your stubborness but this time you gave in.

“You are the love of my life. You’ve always been. I have loved you so much all this time and I always will. I want to stay but I am too scared that something’s gonna happen to you or to Luke so I… I thought about it and…” You squeezed his hand. “I decided to cut myself of from the Force so that I could have a life with you.”

“What?!”

“I have made my peace with it. I am like a beacon to Vader if he decides to search for me, this is the only way I can have what I want. You.”

Obi was staring in disbelief. You just decided what your faith was going to be and Obi-Wan was the happiest man alive. He was shooked at first but soon happiness and pure joy took over him and he hugged you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You pulled him even closer to you as you let the sandstorm outside be completelly forgotten. 

It’s been about a week since you and Obi were living officially together in your new home. It wasn’t ideal nor perfect but hey! What is in this galaxy, right?

You were walking hand-in-hand from a town where you successfully sold your ship, Soka. It was a little sad since she reminded you of your adveture with Kal and of your friend Snips but at the same time, you were most likely never going to need her again. Hopefully.

The two suns were shinning bright, tanning your skin. The course and rough sand was cracking underneath your weight as you walked. The dry air made you thirsty and at some point you couldn’t help but cough. You two were wandering around the place without putting much thought into it and before you knew it, you pauzed.

“Won’t we reach the spot were you first landed on Tatooine if you continue walking that way?”

“I think we will.”

“So this is where it all started. The Skywalker’s journey straight to the botom!”

“Not straight.”

You gave him a you-know-what-I-mean look.

“I’m just teasing. Sorry, Y/N.”

“You always are, I don’t mind but... Actually, you know what? I think I want to change my name too.”

“What? Why? Your name is so lovely!”

“Because it is my choice, not yours, mine. I guess I want to asociate myself with something different. I want to disconnect from my past and focus on the future. Luke’s gonna carry on the Skywalker legacy. It wouldn’t fair if no one carried on yours. Besides, Y/N Kenobi sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?”

Obi-Wan was staring at you with open mouth. “You want to take my last name?”

You put your arms around his shoulders. “I do. I mean, you’re not getting married but still you can take this as a sign of my devotion. I truly, deeply love you and I want to be all yours - body, soul, even the surname.”

He didn’t know exactly how to react to that, so he just crashed his lips onto yours. He was astonished. “I love you so much, my sweet Y/N. You are the greatest thing that happened to me. Although not the name, I am yours too. Body and soul.”

You pulled him into a tight embrace. People passing you by were giving you strange looks but it’s not like any of you cared. You simply stayed in the moment, forgetting all your worries. It was a promising day for you two, after all. Promising for your relationship but most importantly it meant a new start. It was an enterance to a brighter state of existance and a new stage in life. A stage where you could finally be a little selfish and build a life for yourselves. A life where your and Obi’s love, was the only thing that mattered.

[c-130jsuperhercules]

Given that Rey is Palpatine’s grandaughter and also a scavenger of old imperial ships I think that she should have been really good with information, lore, and history, rather than good at fixing droids and ships and stuff. Luke was able to fix c-3po and r2rd2 because that’s what he did, as a farmhand; he tended to machines, and fixed robots. It also drew a parallel to Anakin, who was also really good with machines, good with ships, grew up on tatooine, etc. But I doubt that the decision to make Rey a descendant of palpatine was made by the first film, and it opens up some new Ideas for me as to her character.

Firstly, the similarities between Luke and Rey, in my mind, kind of end beyond desert planet and dead parents. Luke has a family, he works as a farmboy for a vital resource, he’s got a stable, safe life(at first). Rey apparently has no one, she scavenges old ships for stuff that apparently is only worth several bits of rations, I don’t see any motive for her to waste valuable time and resources fixing up robots and stuff that don’t appear to help her when she’s out and scavenging. I think it would be more interesting if, instead of trying to copy Luke and Anakin’s origins story, they leaned more heavily on how she’s looting and exploring a dead empire. Because she’s Palpatine’s descendant, she should have a natural curiosity for history, and the lore behind the ship.

The scene where she helped Han fix his own ship could’ve been improved. I’m not saying she’s a mary sue or whatever, but I think it’s a little weird she fixed in five seconds what Han couldn’t on the ship he had been flying for decades. It made her look smart, sure, but did that by making Han seem like a doddering old fool. I think it would’ve been better if she helped Han navigate through the ruin of a star destroyer in a chase scene, or gave an imperial access code to an ancient door that still takes it. For example, we could start out with her coming back to an old spot, clearly marked by a clean spot on the floor contrasting with the dust around her. She hooks up a battery she traded some valuable pieces for, and plays the scene.

A general, sending a message to his officer. Something about the tactics the officer is to execute when facing rebellion ships. She’s already seen the scene a hundred times, but she felt reassured by the confidence of the general. She also needed to eat lunch. A couple of rations bubbled to life in the corner as the face the voice belonged to flickered into view, round features, obviously a man from comfort. His hollow, yet intense eyes betrayed his deadly experience from a long career sustained by the nurturing destruction of war.

“...-not hold their own. They will employ hit and run tactics, meant to confuse you, draw your fighters away from the ship, and then disable the command center.” The frustrated edge in his voice told Rey just how successful this tactic was. “Keep the TIE fighters close. Establish a perimeter around the ship. The goal is a long, battle of attrition. This, they cannot win. If-” The officer’s voice cut in.

“But what if they attack a target that cannot be lost, say, a capital ship that has had its defenses temporarily disabled?”

“If their attention shifts to another essential target, pursue them. Do not fail. Hokar out.” The last of the rations popped from their packaging, startling Rey back to the dusty reality.

Then, later, she sees Han attempt that old republic tactic, unsuccessfully. She remembers what she saw, what she knows. She tells Han that, instead of faking fleeing, he should target some vital support systems left exposed during construction. He does so, and it draws their enemy out from their post. Han uses the superior speed and maneuverability  of the falcon to lead them through somewhere they couldn’t follow, and then blast off, escaping with whatever they had, whether that’s their lives or some valuables. Isn’t that better? Isn’t that better than throwing a beloved character under the bus to build up her ethos? It would also establish her as smart, quick on her feet, wise, with a long memory, and she knew how to use it, like a certain other senator.

Then, Palpatine. Palpatine achieved what all the legions of Sith before him could not; he destroyed the Jedi order. But not by might alone, he schemed and manipulated into making people make the wrong decisions. We could have the same thing happen with Rey! Once she is looked to for guidance, she comes up with a plan in the midst of battle. She stages a dramatic scene, prolonged fighting and losses making her doubt herself. But, just in the nick of time, the first order falls for the trick, and extends its face right where Rey wanted it to, and destroys it. The enemy is routed that day, and those beside her both celebrate her ingenuity, and ponder on what would happen if it was used against them.

Palpatine ate of the tree of knowledge, and knew death. He used that knowledge to darken hearts and promote himself to emperor. Near the ultimate climax, Rey will also receive knowledge, dark and terrible. She will see prophecies of her friends dying, histories of those that had come before her and failed, visions of the present dire situation. Having hope, she dismisses these. But, the dark side tries again. It tempted Palpatine over with promises of power and rule, and so it will try that same method with Rey. Isn’t she tired of not being the one in control? Doesn’t she want to wrest control from the blinding light, and plunge the galaxy in a soothing darkness, a darkness she controlled directly? She will not have friends, or a family, but they will be weak to the power she wields. She will not be given a choice, but will instead find herself on the same path Palpatine and Anakin were on, and failed. She will start to wrest control for herself, greedily hoarding information, doling it out when it suited her.

But, her vision extends beyond his. She will see that it takes many pairs of eyes to take in a complete picture, many men talking to each other to describe an elephant. Life should be lived with others, not alone as Palpatine aspired to, surrounded by equals, not placed above them, blah blah blah, light side crap. She will choose the harder path in a climactic scene/lightsaber battle, proving herself stronger for climbing the bloodied steps to the light. I could probably put this whole thing into a step-by-step hero’s journey type thing, but that’s a bit too much effort for me.

thx for reading, talk to me if you disagree or whatever.

[legobiwan]

You've often talked on how you think Qui Gon had survived he would have loved Dooku. So what if he had done that and left the Order with him still leaving Obi Wan to train Anakin. How would this change Obi Wan and Anakin's views on him and themselves? What would Jinn and Dooku's relationship be like? How would this change the make up of the CIS, the Republic and the Order? How would stuff with Maul, Ventress and Mandalore be like (especially if you dig the theory Jinn influenced a young Satine

woooooaaaaaahhhhh anon

That’s a meaty question. I love it.

Okay, so let’s break this down a little bit.

1) If Qui-gon had survived, he would have struggled with Dooku’s decisions and ultimately, may have joined him.

This is all very contingent on when Qui-gon gets in touch with his old master, but I think, in the end, Qui-gon would have at least wanted to have a conversation with Dooku about why he left the Order in the first place. (Remember, Qui-gon couldn’t get a hold of him in Master and Apprentice and Rael only did after Qui-gon left. And Qui-gon, up until TPM and his death, seemed to have no idea Dooku had turned dark so I’m something happened to Rael in the meantime. Meaning Qui-gon is totally in the dark. 

The thing is - we see Qui-gon struggle with the Council, with the Republic, and we also see him struggle with this idea that he (and he alone) is the only one who can initiate Change, that the Force is speaking to him and through him. There’s a fair amount of exceptionalism going on with Qui-gon along with some very real arguments against the Republic and the Council. Given those dynamics, and the evidence of the return of the Sith, I believe that Qui-gon would have at least heard Dooku out. And let’s not forget, Qui-gon aided and abetted his Master’s less-than-sanctioned actions on more than one occasion, and his sometimes slippery morality (I think Qui-gon always aimed for the light, but his methods definitely flirted with, at the very least, some intense rule-breaking) could be manipulated, especially in connection to his beloved Master. (And they did have a good relationship, in a lot of ways far more solid and Obi-wan and Qui-gon.)

2) If Qui-gon did ultimately leave the Order, how would that have affected Obi-wan and Anakin?

Obi-wan would be *pissed.* I mean, here Qui-gon all but throws out Obi-wan’s Padawanship for Anakin and then he leaves the Order? I can’t even imagine, I just feel awful for Obi-wan in this situation. Let’s assume, for the sake of this question, that the confrontation with Maul was enough to get Obi-wan Knighted so that’s not an issue anymore. And let’s also assume that once again, upon leaving the Order, Qui-gon extracts yet another promise from Obi-wan that he train Anakin in his stead. 

Gods, I would be so angry if I were Obi-wan. But knowing him, he would probably try and soften the blow as much as possible for Anakin, knowing Anakin sees Qui-gon as a savior figure. Obi-wan might present things from “a certain point of view,” that Qui-gon was on an extended mission, or that he was needed for something else. Or that he had too many disagreements with the Jedi and ultimately needed to find his own path, as Obi-wan might use this instance to illustrate how the Jedi are “not jailers.” Of course, this has the capacity to backfire wildly in terms of Anakin’s psyche, which even canon was not always completely screwed in, so I could see Obi-wan and Anakin’s relationship being even more tumultuous than it was. When Qui-gon died, there wasn’t a choice. But Qui-gon leaving them, of his own volition - well, Anakin has no idea what to do about that. (And Obi-wan, well, he’s probably also in a worse place for the reason, and likely more susceptible to darker influences.)

3) What would the relationship between Qui-gon and Dooku be like?

Antagonistic, eventually. At least, I think. Qui-gon doesn’t want to turn to the dark, even if he agrees with Dooku’s politics and other reasoning. But he can’t bring himself to go back to the Jedi, either, both because of guilt and because he thinks they’re wrong. So Qui-gon is kind of stuck with his decision, half-in and half-out, and this created tension with Dooku, who has always had fewer hangups about the Dark Side. But they do work well together, when are systems are running - too well and that’s the part of the machine, when oiled, that is terrifying for its enemies. 

4) Would this change the makeup of the CIS, Republic, and Order?

Probably not all that much. I can’t see Qui-gon going in for politics the way Dooku does, and a single Jedi Master following his teacher in rebellion is unlikely to be much of a concern to the Republic, outside of certain interests like Padmé or Bail. The Order would be shaken, although not 100% surprised by Qui-gon’s actions. But they may put a stricter lockdown on certain things to ensure no one else defects, which would probably backfire on them. 

5) How would this affect Maul, Ventress, and Mandalore/Satine?

Ahhh, now this is interesting. Maul, we can assume, met the same fate as he did in canon, so let’s say he still has it out for Obi-wan. In this instance, I can see Qui-gon getting wind of Raydonia and having an apoplectic fit, taking care of Maul himself in, uh, not-nice fashion to protect his former student. Of course, Obi-wan would probably walk in at the exact wrong time and make the wrong (okay, not totally wrong, as Qui-gon is walking the line between light and dark) assumptions and that would lead to a Confrontation. This, obviously, has repercussions for Mandalore, which I’ll get to in a moment. 

Ventress would likely have much more of a backseat role, or at least, a similar role with less perceived importance. Seeing as Qui-gon is not the assassin type, Dooku needs a sharp blade to wield, so Ventress definitely comes in handy, but no longer is she an apprentice, at least not in name. But also, can you imagine her and Qui-gon together? Talk about a weird duo. They probably mix like coronavirus and less than 6 feet of social distancing, as in, not at all. Ventress would be very envious of Qui-gon and that could lead to Problems home.

Now, Mandalore without Maul to deal with. Interesting. And I hadn’t come across the theory that Qui-gon influenced Satine in any way during that initial mission, so that’s something to ponder. But if Qui-gon leaves the Order, is seen aligning with the CIS, at least nominally, well, he’d be the enemy. And the CIS has ties to Deathwatch, at least for a while. I think Satine would be pissed at Qui-gon for going back on his ideals, not to mention for his betrayal of Obi-wan. But Maul’s demise might mean Satine’s government has a fighting chance against Deathwatch, that is, until Qui-gon and Dooku make an appearance on Mandalore and Qui-gon is set up to be the negotiator given his past knowledge and history with Satine. Which would be a fascinating and distinctly Uncomfortable conversation, the main ideas of which would be relayed to Obi-wan and provide him with even more angst and reason to go off on his own crusade to take some form of retribution against his former master. 

My personal question is - how is Sidious dealing with all of this? He probably wants Qui-gon dead, but that would pit Dooku directly against him and he can’t have that - not yet. So it’s a matter of getting to Anakin with an increasingly unstable Obi-wan at his side and I feel like this universe would be just as tragic but perhaps fall apart quicker than canon because everyone seems to be unhinged. Although, I have to admit, Dooku would likely be pleased as punch to have his student at his side, no matter their disagreements. 

[sapphireorison]

Hey so for the fusion ask: Literally anything to do with Star Wars.

Gasp. Star Wars. Yes, @per-aspera-ad-tenebrae! 

Oh my goodness, my favorite thing is to fling BJT characters right into space. Er. You get what I mean. :D

(ETA: I added a cut because holy crap this is like a million words.)

Jedi

Jedi first because otherwise some of my character notes will make no sense.

So ‘The Force’ isn’t all that fancy when literally all the humans can do the thing. But, Sith & Jedi are legendary, yeah? So. What if. Tapping the Force is basically just like a shot of the Black straight into the Jedi/Sith’s veins? An infinite well of power that, if channeled long enough, will rip through and sear you from the inside out.  The mysticisms of Force users could basically be how to buffer the mind so it doesn’t just pop. Or. Uh. Consume you whole. Because, like. Force users dying and poofing? Could easily be the Darkness snapping them up then and there for finally losing hold of their control of the Black. No chalice shattering here, just straight up fried into atoms in the backlash. (Sort of like…what the Ebony does even to someone who wears it.)

So there’s still a sense of ‘strong in the force,’ sure, but if they’re artificially tapping the Black, then that can be through a mechanism that informs how much potential they have to actually survive contact (and for how long). A Force user certainly can’t keep it in a reservoir like they do own power and use it for incidentals, but they can descend past their inner webs to gather it up without breaking themselves. It would make sense to me that this is: ridiculously rare, worth stealing people over during the decline of the Jedi council, and be extremely hard to fight because it honestly can’t be real that’s impossible. Plus, if the Force can sort of…eliminate a certain kind of power imbalance, then lightsaber skills and stamina and adroitness with the Force become the real distinguishing factors in a conflict between Force users. 

Also—ALSO—I considered having Jedi be related to Black Widows in some way, but…Black Widows are a mundane spookiness and everyone can scent them. They don’t fill quite the same niche as Force users do in Star Wars. So while I think that Force-sensitive Black Widows are probably terrifying as FUCK (…Tersa. Tersa absolutely, and we’re…encouraged to think she would have worn the Black, so, uh), I think that they probably have a range of castes. Because, like, can you imagine a Force-sensitive Priestess? Like, Priestesses’ whole schtick is to commune with the Darkness, and the Force is basically like undiluted Darkness. It’s probably the most popular Jedi caste. The not-Force-sensitive types that are almost Force-sensitive are probably often Priestesses or Princes.

Lightsabers: So kyber crystals are clear Jewels that don’t behave like normal ones, but are capable of being channeled through. (Posit: scales of an entirely different and very specific dragon?) Lightsabers turn the color of whatever Jewel’s used to power it (sort of, Opals and Darkside are the exceptions), consume power like a fucking hog, and are cranky if tried to be manipulated by non-Force users because they really only respond to the Black. Also, a force user is more likely to use their Birthright to power the thing until a point at which they finally come to terms with the crystal (through some manner of growth—personal, mental, or otherwise) and are capable of using their Descent+Black, because it is muy difícil. The colors go wonky (and really vibrant) when it’s Black+a Light Jewel, and Opals have a cool effect and can be manipulated to pick a color, and Sith get a weird bleed effect b/c the Darkness is cranky about being channeled by the Tainted, but otherwise. (And that’s also why it’s like, Palpatine? Dude wears the Rose. He is the least likely dude to be a Sith. Oh ho ho.)(Also like. Include an EXTENDED ConVERSATIOn here re: Jedi vs Sith and balance-to-the-force epic narrative, etc, and how with a Tainted Blood concept of corruption means that the original Sith might not…actually…have had Red lightsabers and isn’t THAT something an in-world historian might find really interesting!)

Original Trilogy Humans

Leia —Purple dusk to Sapphire Queen – I waffled a bit here on making her a Priestess, actually, because that would be interesting. She struggles with diplomacy just a smidgen, has a natural Force link, and ends up leading by spit, vinegar, and sheer cussed force of personality. I stuck with Queen because of her mum, though, and because she seems to naturally draw people in. And honestly, if Han’s never been up close and personal with a Queen, that alone would probably be enough to cross all his wires and confuse the hell out of him about where they stand w/r/t each other.

Luke — Summer-sky to Green Prince – So, Luke just has this edge of sweetness to him, imho. He has to force himself up to the killing edge, and he backs away from it awful quickly. Even when he’s grumpy. And he has a measure of natural golden-retriever charisma and control that I associate with Princes. However! If I wanted to make things hard for him, I’d absolutely make him a WP, and make Tatooine one of the majority-Light-Jeweled Rim Worlds filled with species that don’t even wear Jewels and have zero idea how to handle the caste. Both possible castes then share the idea that his constant and repeated decisions to drop the fuck back and re-evaluate are hard-won wisdoms not just due to Yoda’s five minutes of fundamentals-and-trolling but because he’s making connections between what he did then to what he has to do now.  

Han —Yellow to Summer-sky Warlord – Oh man. Oh buddy. Han. Friendo. He’s in over his head in every sense of the word. The thing is, he ramps up flying by the seat of his pants into an art form! He’s an idiot and a genius and has no idea what to do with these infuriating people who make him Feel Things and Do Stuff. He’s just a dude with a jalopy and a large, hairy minder and now he’s destroying the Death Star and marrying the princess, like you do. He’s not a towering, mythical badass, he just fell in love and that was it for him.

Lando — Purple Dusk to Blood Opal Warlord Prince — Dude knows how to rock capes and is a damn good leader. I feel like Lando’s really the only one of the group of them who has a grasp of his caste. He’s got that protective edge that the others have but have to actually refine, and just about all the times we see him, he’s doing something gutsy and often sharply compassionate. 

Prequel Fam Humans

Anakin — Sapphire to Red Warlord Prince — Outside of Rey and Yoda, I think Anakin’s the highest ranking of the lot, honestly. Because the thing is, the Jedi Counsel wants him, and badly. He’s strong in the Force, sure, and letting anyone with the ability to wield the Black untrained is asking for trouble (and a Sith), but if he also is a Birthright Sapphire???? With the possibility that he’s going to become the Ebon-gray?! (Even if that…doesn’t happen.) Like. The kiddo is packing some serious mojo and the Jedi Counsel is…in decline no matter that they refuse to know that. But also the prospect of helping him hone the a Black-backed EG is like. Scary as hell. Let’s just. Give him to old Qui-gon and call it good. Qui-gon’s not a terrible teacher and he’s Dark Jeweled (Sapphire) it’ll be fine.

Padme — Blood Opal to Sapphire Queen — I mean. Small bb Padme was put in charge of a planet long before she would have been ready to make her offering. Her whole thing only gets more deliciously complicated if you consider the idea that while Queens are possibly not exactly rare on Naboo, that their method of choosing who to rule and where and how is…complicated. Like, if I were going to build an interesting storyline for Padme, I’d actually rock right on back and set up WHY she’s an undescended AND in charge, in contravention of most societies preference that a Queen usually makes her Offering and sets up her court in that order. At that point, the answer is probably Black Widows (:D) and Naboo Queens tie their Jewels into planet itself so that diplomat-Queens and ruling Queens need to not have had that happen yet or they would be extremely restricted in their ability to leave (which…would be bad for various reasons). Padme was probably putting off getting tie to Naboo after her Offering by her strong opinions about the Senate (and all the other Naboo Queens were probably like: she fell in love with some idiot on another planet, I bet you MONEY).

Obi Wan — Tiger eye to Summer-sky Warlord — Oh no. Oh no. Obi-wan’s got to try and run herd on a Sapphire-Jeweled rugrat who could run rings around him already through his frankly terrifying natural use of the Force, plus the Black Widows on the Council are making all sorts of dire predictions out of their Tangled Webs. He’s fine though. This is fine. He’ll just have to do his best and hope that no subtle, shadowy influence are lurking that might make his job raising an emotionally scarred and insufficiently supported little boy harder!

Sequel Trilogy Humans

Rey — Opal to Red Witch — Rey might be a Black Widow, because in BJT Craft==Science, but honestly, she strikes me as more like the kind of free-agent that Surreal is in the books. Also, and more importantly, growing up on Jakku without any sort of training on how to manage poisons (and the fact it’s a…desert…without plants…or…a lot of humans) she would have probably straight up just died. I like the idea that Opal’s get a kalaidescope-effect in their ‘sabers, so that she’d end up with the blue/green color at first, but that she’d also end up with just…a bright-ass BLAZING red ‘saber when she sorts out her shit. Not because she’s tipped over into Sith-ville, but it’s enough to make people take a second look to see if it’s Tainted-Red or that bright-burning Red of a balanced Force user. Since we don’t have the last movie, I can only speculate that there’s a balancing moment, and I feel like it would be really interesting in-universe to see her rip out one of these puppies and have the baddies go ‘!!!!!! :D :D :D’ and then ‘D: D: D: D:’ basically immediately. 

Finn — Opal to Blood Opal Warlord (…pending…further info re: characterization.) — Because the thing is, Finn was also just a dude, much like Han, and made a choice to foist all the bullshit right over the edge. Plus, I have a theory that…psychological hardship forces the Blood to spend valuable mental growth and strengthening on repair. So that the First Order is actually full of a LOT of ‘double Jewel’ people whose Descended rank is the same as their Birthrights. But this is also: he can use a lightsaber and it can be any-damn-color he wants it to be, because his whole storyline is about finding out who he is outside of the Order, discovering how to navigate towards both the greater good as well as the personal, and forging his own path. The blue/green of Rey’s might be his initial pick, but just think of a rippling Opal blade. Ahh, how wonderful. I’ve only seen glimpses of his RotS promo pics, so I might fiddle with his caste depending on revelations/actions there, but part of the ‘Warlord’ here is that Finn’s just a dude like Han’s just a dude. Making important choices and becoming a big damn hero because of it.

Poe —Tiger-eye to Purple Dusk Prince — He’s essentially Leia’s heir, makin’ mistakes and getting messy. I honestly don’t think he’s a WP, nor do I think he’s Dark Jeweled. I could definitely be convinced around to a Sapphire, though. The thing is, though, that he’s a flyboy with a strength of personality that I feel like is more important as a good leader than raw power, especially when he’s trying to learn how to save lives as well as win. It’s…a different path, I think, than BJT canon itself takes with respect to power and faith and revolution, but I feel like it’s an important one. Especially in the echoed ending of…gosh, which one was it where they show the glorious little glimpses of the future. Tiny Force-sensitives and the idea that the spark of the future could live in anyone. Anyways—I feel like there’s a certain sense that characters whose strengths are NOT powered in some manner by their in-universe magic can afford to be Light Jeweled in a narrative sense.

Rose — Rose to Summer-sky Black Widow — Honestly, this is where my Craft==Science things come right in. I have a…whole thing…that I’m actually using for a fic. But the general idea is that if you use Craft to fly your ships, then it makes sense to have Black Widows (trained or not) there to maintain the webs that keep everything going. That necessitates a lot of people who have some notion on how to build very simple webs and that Han and Rey actually probably have a decent grasp on a lot of basic spell webs just as a natural consequence of being tech-oriented. But. Like. Rose is trained! She’s official! She’s got the hourglass and everything! And I couldn’t resist giving her the birthright Rose. Being a BW probably runs in her family, so her nana did one of those birth-omen Tangled Webs and her parents were like ‘!!Then let’s name her Rose!!’ and her nana is like, “Please name her something that’s not her Jewel. You managed it for Paige.” Her nana has been rolling her eyes ever since, but Rose is her favorite anyway. 

Kylo — Opal to Sapphire Warlord Prince — So I’m torn. In the interest of narrative resonance and rivalry with Rey, I’m Very Tempted to make him also Opal to Red, but he’s got this weird…superiority-inferiority-entitlement thing going on that having him wear the Sapphire is like…indicative of his mental state. Also, his parents were Summer-sky and Sapphire. There’s a certain amount of ‘genetic power pool’ thing going on (We get it in the BJT with Black+Red == EG while Black+??(probably Black)==Darker Black) Even though I really like having powerful antagonists because I like when the heroes actually have to do a bit of a struggle to win (and the Gray is v. tempting to give him), I think it suits his narrative that he’s just…not as powerful in a general sense as Anakin, and that it’s his atrocities that make him scary. That he’s choosing to do all this bad shit and it’s not a function of the power he’s born with, but that he’s misusing that power in more and more dramatic ways.

Nonhuman Friends: 

Yoda – Guess whose race is long-lived? THIS GUY. Does not have Birthright/Descent or human caste, but he does wear a Gray Jewel. How he got it is lost, along with the rest of his kind. Is it a Birthright? Why only one? Did he get broken at some point? How would he wear the Gray if that was the case? All a mystery. Very mysterious. Also, he can pick the color of his lightsaber(?!) and thinks green flatters his eyes. 

Chewie – Wookies have a completely different caste system (the only one that might have a human analogy is close to Warlord Prince)(I really don’t know enough about Wookies, tbh T_T). So let’s say they’re sort of…middle-lived. Not as long as long-lived, not as short as short-lived. They also have ‘sets’ of Jewels that descend independently of one another. Birthright set: Yellow and Summer-sky. Descent Set: Tiger-eye and Green, but they have to give up the Birthright set as part of their Offering to the Darkness (and the ritual is different and takes longer, ofc). They big! They stronk! They seem to break the ‘can only descend three ranks’ thing of humans but no! No, because each Jewel is given in Offering independently and their humanoid mind can still only just hold two at a time. A Legendary Gray and Black Dark Jeweled Tactical Wookie would be terrifying as fuck. 

—

So yes! That’s it! If you have different ideas/elaborations, I’d love to hear them. This is just my notions off the top of my head. :D 

(And okay all of the fandom headcanons are going to be equally as ridiculous and longwinded as this one, so I might…do them over time. I have seen the requests, tho! And I will do all of them! Because this is…my favorite thing to do. XD Ty for sending me fandoms!! )

[unexpectedreylo]

Bendemption Song Part 2:  The Villain’s Redemption Arc/The Anti-Hero’s Journey

First, we have to ask:  what kind of redemption arc is Ben getting?  Mythcreants.com lists three kinds:  sacrifice, temptation, and forgiveness.  

A sacrifice arc is one where the redeemed villain does something good and ultimately sacrifices his/her life because of the gravity of the villain’s crimes.  Darth Vader is given as an example:  Vader kills Darth Sidious to save Luke, but in the process is mortally wounded.  I would sort of put Gollum in this category and maybe Severus Snape too.  In Ben’s case, a sacrifice arc is possible.  I know those of us in Reylo-land don’t want to think about it, but I wouldn’t say it’s totally off the table.  But to make you all feel better, I think there are problems with a sacrifice arc in this situation.  Of all of the potential redemption arcs to use, this one is the easiest because it just repeats what was done in ROTJ.  And “easy” usually carries the least amount of payoff.  Two, it’s debatable whether Kylo’s crimes are so great, he cannot be allowed to survive.  Fans who want revenge for Han’s death might have one view, Reylos might have another.  It’s apparent though that Kylo’s rap sheet isn’t as long as his grandfather’s and Kylo is already showing far more remorse, regret, and conflict than Vader ever did.  It’s also clear that Kylo was victimized as a youngster in a way Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker never was.  Palpatine was a manipulator but he used flattery and kindness to snare Anakin while what Snoke did went back to when Ben was a fetus and it’s clear it wasn’t all “nice.”  Three, it would collide with some narrative brick walls I will discuss in the third part of my Bendemption Song series.

The temptation arc and the forgiveness arc could end with the death of the character, but unlike the sacrifice arc, these two arcs also allow for the possibility of the character’s survival.  Kylo’s arc could follow either one.  

The temptation arc is where the character feels pulled to the good side as well as the bad and is in a battle to decide where he falls.  Zuko from “Avatar:  The Last Airbender” and Spike from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” are given as examples.  Kylo’s line in TFA, “I feel it again, the pull to the light,” signals his own struggle.  He’s always being described as “conflicted.”  I think this arc is a really good fit for him for this reason.  If this is the route they go in IX, ultimately he will choose “the light,” or at least reject the dominance of the dark side over his entire personality.  He will learn to integrate his shadow self, to use a Jungian term, and recognize the light side aspects of his personality are a strength, not a weakness.  

The forgiveness arc is where the character has already forsworn villainy but has blood on his hands.  Furiosa from “Mad Max:  Fury Road” is given as an example.  I would add Bucky Barnes and Loki from the Marvel Cinematic Universe as further examples.  Most of what they are doing is trying to make up for past crimes, earning the trust and forgiveness of others, and reaching the point where they can forgive themselves.  Had Kylo turned in TLJ, this would’ve been his arc for sure in IX.  It’s still possible, but it would depend on how soon he turns.  If it’s early in the movie, then a forgiveness arc might happen.  If it’s in the second or third act in the film, then it’s too late for a forgiveness arc to occur and it will likely be a temptation or sacrifice arc instead.

When the writer has chosen the arc for the villain, there are certain things the writer must do to establish redemption.

The anti-hero is at first presented as purely villainous.

TFA largely shows Kylo Ren The Villain Who Does Bad Stuff.  He kicks off the movie by killing Lor San Tekka, taking Poe prisoner and torturing him, and ordering his troops to burn down a village.  He kidnaps Rey and attempts to enter her mind.  He is shown later on as conflicted but he works up the nerve to kill off Dear Old Dad, then he fights Finn and Rey.

The anti-hero is humanized, often through a tragic backstory or showing they have good intentions.

Basically, everything that happens in TLJ.  Kylo discards his mask and humanizes himself to Rey and by extension to us.  The books reveal Snoke had been messing with Ben since he was in the womb.  We learn of the tragic murder Luke almost commits, which turned Ben Solo into Kylo Ren.  

 Start Dropping Hints

 This has already happened in TFA and TLJ.  Hints include Kylo’s perpetual conflict, his less-than-enthusiastic reaction to committing Han-icide, his refusal to kill his mother, his lack of enthusiasm for blowing up planets, his bouts of gentleness/empathy/compassion for Rey, etc..  If you want an early sign in IX that Bendemption is going to happen, keep an eye out in the first act for the “Supreme Leader” to do something uncharacteristic for an evil despot.  He might refuse to commit an atrocity against innocents, he might save a group of children (to counterpoint Anakin’s Great Youngling Massacre), or he might start to question the whole enterprise of the war.  Perhaps he always makes sure Rey and her friends escape the First Order.  Maybe he’ll be a “Fulcrum!”  You never know.

Introduce A Good Influence

 Obviously, that’s Rey.  She can’t pick him up and drag him from the Dark Side, as she learned the hard way in TLJ, but she shows him just as she doesn’t have to live in anger, hurt, resentment, and fear, neither does he.  She offers him forgiveness and the possibility of life beyond and better than what he has.  If there’s any incentive at all for Kylo to change, it’s her.  

You might have noticed these movies seem to be big on “girl power.”  It’s as though the power of the feminine—all but destroyed by the end of the prequels, corrupted in the “Solo” era, and missing but for a few key figures in the original trilogy—is making a roaring comeback in the sequels.  You might also have noticed that Kylo has a big problem with male authority figures (Han, Snoke, Luke) and male rivals (Hux, to some degree Finn).  Yet who is the one relative to escape his wrath?  His mother.  Who does he finally open himself up to?  Rey.  This tells me Kylo is receptive to the power of the feminine and it’s likely his maternal ties and his deep connection with a woman will play an important part in his redemption.  

I believe the original plan for IX was for Kylo to atone with his mother and this part of the story is so fundamental, there was no way to get around it ergo they are going to use footage of Carrie Fisher shot for TFA and TLJ.  How they’ll use it is still a mystery.  We’ll just have to see.

Less obvious is another good influence, and that’s Han Solo.  Not only is Han genetically encoded in Kylo anyway, Han’s actions at the end of their encounter left an indelible mark on him in both a negative and a positive way.  I think we’ll see the true beginning of his turn was at that moment; in fact it’s obvious from watching TFA Kylo almost left with his father.

Subtle Shift In Loyalty/The anti-hero goes through a phase of internal conflict, or their inner conflict is revealed/amplified.  This is when he is waffling between good and evil./This internal conflict drives him toward Team Good.

While Kylo shows no inclination yet to join the Resistance, his loyalty in TLJ shifts from Snoke to Rey.  It’s as close to Team Good as he has gotten in this trilogy so far.  Of course, the shift wavers and he retreats to lead Team Evil.  But his connection to and feelings for Rey remain, as demonstrated in his last scene in TLJ.  This gives us hope for IX.

The anti-hero isn’t ready to be redeemed and he falls back toward Team Evil.  This is often due to their own desires or temptations of another character.  This usually involves a betrayal.  The betrayal leads to them achieving a goal they had become evil in the first place to obtain.

Kylo doesn’t betray anyone besides Snoke but he decides he’d rather be Supreme Leader than be the Resistance’s new lightsaber-swinging hero, which breaks poor Rey’s heart. 

Villain Becomes Unhappy With Team Evil/The anti-hero realizes he made a mistake.  The goal isn’t what he wanted after all or it backfires on him.

Kylo’s going to find that heavy is the head that wears the crown, isolated and having to watch his back at all times.  I don’t see Kylo as an ideologue as I see him as using the First Order to get back at his family and their value system and latching onto Snoke because he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere else.  In IX, that family will be mostly gone and Snoke’s dead.  The only things holding Kylo to the First Order would likely be his desire for power and control, despair, guilt, and fear of being on his own.  But even those may not be enough.  Kylo could question further the First Order’s goals and methods.  In addition, I predict Hux will stage a coup against Kylo by turning the First Order’s leaders and money guys, and possibly even the Knights of Ren, against him.

This realization leads him to repent and seek to fight for Team Good.

I think he will likely approach Rey first and once she indicates she is willing to forgive him, he will come to fight alongside her.  

The Villain Must Stop A Great Evil And Make A Great Sacrifice

While a new, hitherto unknown threat could be the great evil in IX, I doubt they will introduce one this late in the game.  Likely the great evil will be the First Order or something connected to it.  

Dave Filoni said during The Clone Wars panel at SDCC 2018 the true conflict in Star Wars was between selfishness and selflessness.  In order to be redeemed, Kylo MUST do something selfless.  It will likely be something very risky to life and limb to correct his error and stop the First Order.  The greater the error, the greater the potential sacrifice will be.  I will stress that a willingness to sacrifice your life isn’t an automatic death sentence in film and literature.

It will show tremendous growth if he is also willing to sacrifice the possibility of a life with Rey.  As Yoda said in ROTS, you must let go of everything you fear to lose. Think back to how possessive Anakin was with Padmé in ROTS (“you will not take her from me”) versus how Han Solo was willing to let Leia choose Luke, not knowing they’re twins, if that’s what would make her happy.  I could see Kylo letting Rey choose another, if anyone, if that’s what she wanted or asking Finn or Poe to take care of her if something were to happen to him. 

A willingness to abdicate power, wealth, and status are great sacrifices as well.  So is a willingness to completely change your value system and goals.  I think Ben will do all of the above.  

The Villain Must Show Remorse

In Ben’s case, this is VERY important.  I think one reason why some fans are very unforgiving of him is because they don’t think he yet shows sufficient remorse. Regardless, the audience has to believe his turn is sincere by witnessing him acknowledge his misdeeds and express mourning, sorrow, and regret for committing them.  The signs are there in TLJ and TFA but we need to see more.  I’m talking about big ugly sobbing here.  At the same time, he cannot wallow for long in despair and guilt or else he’ll be at best worthless and at worst, he can be drawn back to the Dark Side.  He can’t punish himself by refusing forgiveness, kindness, or mercy.  Showing remorse has to be cathartic, it cannot be a perpetual state of existence.   

I predict that a significant part of IX will be about Ben integrating his shadow self, Kylo.  How will he do this?  He needs to release his anger, resentment, and hurt instead of clinging to them like a security blanket.  He has to forgive those who have hurt him:  Luke, his parents, Rey, even Snoke.  Most importantly, he has to forgive himself.  Once he has done these things, he can finally be in control of his emotions, letting himself feel freely but without being overtaken by them.

The villain finds direction, a problem in need of solving; humbles himself

For a character like Ben, this probably means taking on an insane, undoubtedly suicidal mission on behalf of Team Good, providing insider information on Team Evil, and of course putting his Force-skills—likely in conjunction with Rey’s—to work.  He won’t do it expecting thanks; this is to prove his worth, earn trust, and of course, attempt in some way to make up for what he has done.

The villain is forgiven 

Rey will happily forgive Ben if he decides to side with her.  It seems she has already forgiven him for his pre-TLJ crimes and will forgive him again when the time comes.  The question is whether anyone else will.  Leia, if she’s alive by that time, definitely.  I think Chewie will come around and when he reconciles with Ben, there won’t be a dry eye in the theater.  It’ll be a big moment if/when Ben reclaims everything that had once been his or should’ve been his:  a relationship with Chewie, the Falcon, Artoo and Threepio, his mother’s cause, etc..  

Would Finn forgive Ben?  Maybe, especially if it’s for Rey’s sake.  Poe would be a hard sell.  Kylo Ren had brutally tortured him and he’s not likely to just forget all about it.  On top of that, he’s a True Believer.  I can see him being very skeptical of Ben turning and not exactly willing to let bygones be bygones.  But that’s okay.  Not everyone needs to forgive Ben by the time the credits roll.

And then what?

The very end of the arc is the question of whether the redeemed villain lives or dies.  I will answer that question in the next part, “Live Or Let Die.”

Check out Part One if you haven’t already!

[fymeetrasurik]

Star Wars: Catalyst-A Rogue One Novel-Review

I actually read this like, a long time ago XD. Like in the lead up before Rogue one came out. So.... Very late.It did have many things I wanted to touch on though, and honestly it’s been one of my favorite books in the new canon so better late than never!

Plot: In the final years of the clone wars, it is decided that a weapon must be constructed to end the conflict. Krennic, and ambitious social climber has his eyes set on the head of the table, and lucky for him, he happens to know the perfect scientist who can launch him into relevance. So begins a game of careful placation as work on the greatest weapon the galaxy has ever known is underway.

So I just figured out how the bullet system works, and I think it’s the best way for me to get out my points XD here we go!

Galen Erso-The book does such an amazing job at flushing out his character. Really it made him one of my favs. He’s very akin to the scientists who worked on the atomic bomb in our own world. He’s a pacifistic who did his best to free himself from either the republic or the separatists, and so the entire book is a blend of making sure he doesn’t know what he’s working on, or finding a way to convince even him that this is for the best. It’s a fascinating game of mental maneuvers. Beyond that even, his mild mannered and thoughtful personality was really endearing as you can tell how much is going on in his head, but yet he still takes time to be a loving husband and father. His state of being is written so well.

Lyra Erso-Boy howdy, if you read this book for nothing else, read it for Lyra. We got to know so little of her from the movie, but reading the book you can so see where Jyn got a lot of her fire from. Lyra is intense, and passionate, which creates a great contrast to Galen. She’s the one who begins to suspect the empire is up to no good, and then the story becomes this almost tug of war between her and Krennic over Galen. She knows the dangerous water they’re working in and is doing her best to keep Galen tethered while also raising Jyn. The quickest way I can describe her is that she’s a space hippie and I mean that with love. She has an interest in Geology which plays a important role in the story, and she just has a no nonsense kind of attitude that’s really easy to fall in love with. In many ways it’s her story more than Galen’s as she must walk a fine line in a dangerous new world.

Orson Krennic- Loved him in the movie, and honestly the book makes him even better. In a world of Vader’s and sith, I think Krennic is a really interesting villain, because he didn’t have to be. He’s dangerously ambitious, but at the same time he’s in over his head. He’s created a weapon of mass destructive as a way to climb the ladder. Like he cares more about getting a high status and recognition than he does about the death star itself. He’s a sociopath in the truest sense as he’s very charming and manipulative. Throughout the story, he’s never antagonistic to Galen, handling him with kid gloves and giving the Erso’s everything (in his mind) that they could ever want. Again the conflict he has with Lyra as both fight for Galen is some of the best parts of the book. He’s just a fascinating villain to me, he comes across very blue collar, like he’s worked his whole life, going from nothing to something and still it’s not enough. He won’t be satisfied until he’s adviser to the emperor himself.

Tarkin-Speaking of villains, oh my word Tarkin is perfect in this. I never knew how much I needed him to have a catty drama and rivalry with someone else in the empire until I read this book. His relationship with Krennic is just the best as they both spend the last half of the book trying to screw each other over while playing polite in conversation. It’s awesome. It’s like every workplace beef you’ve ever seen, on a galactic scale, it’s so petty it’s wonderful.

Has Obbit- A smuggler who is just, a hundred percent done with all this. Early on he is roped into Krennic’s scheme to win over Galen and he spends the rest of the book just under his thumb and he’s just like why has this happened. He’s so easy to relate to of just getting screwed over by powers bigger than him, and honestly I’d like to see him in more stuff!

End of the Clone Wars- So spoiler, but about a third of the way into the book we see the end of the war on a street level. The Erso’s are literally running from battle droids and are seconds from being killed when the droids shut down. I adored this moment. Firstly its interesting because we know what happened more than the characters do, Anakin just murdered all the sep leaders. What I love about this the most, is fate. Star wars always does such a good job of, if this didn’t happen this way at this time it would all have gone to hell. So many things had to lead up to their defeat, a million chances the force took. In a way, Vader saved the Erso’s lives, and without them, the death star could never have been destroyed and by extension, neither would the empire have ever fallen. Little details like that I just love.

State of the Galaxy-My FAVORITE, world buildy thing of the book. I am a huge fan of how canon star wars has dealt with the rise of the empire and how it was viewed by the people, and little details are sprinkled in this book that are some of my fav in all of star wars. Even after the war is over, Krennic explains about sep hold outs and terrorist groups still causing havoc in the outer rim.Eventually it’s how he convinces Galen about the death star as a matter of security. Given how awful the clone wars were, you can hardly blame people for wanting security and being afraid of Seps’ who just couldn’t let it go. Politically, I think this is brilliant, because it basically justifies the empire on a average person level. Wars have a hard time at ending, and that’s especially true on a galactic scale. Spinning this vague threat of Seps who never gave up the fight is a perfect boogeyman. Suddenly, your fighting terrorists rather than freedom fighters and those who joined the empire in those 19 years after the war? They might have seen that as ending the conflict their parents died to stop. Like this twists it so the rebellion isn’t something new, but rather the ghost of something thought to have been put down decades ago. It wasn’t a galactic civil war, it was clone wars round 2. Some of the canon doesn’t get this across very well, but the clone wars was not just clones and droids. It was one of the worst wars in history, leaving trillions dead. The horror of that is hard to imagine, and so can you not see someone signing up to the imperial academy with pride, knowing that whatever they do, it’s in the name of stopping something like that from happening ever again. Palpatine moves, were utter brilliance. Scaring the galaxy from opposing him as no matter how bad things get, at least they aren’t as bad as they were. It’s one of my favorite lore bits in all of star wars and makes everything feel so much more real.

Aliens- I love how all of the books get to play more with Alien characters. Has is one and it’s fun. The opening of the book is the Erso’s imprisoned on an alien world but kinda being welcomed into the culture at the same time and it’s fascinating. Detail is given to their architecture, customs, celebrations and so on and I am just a sucker for all of that. Galen has an old University friend whose a Mirialan whom I love. She’s a professor and Idk why but I just really liked her. More of this in star wars please, like for the love of god, some of the canon stuff is making me wonder why we even have aliens in this universe if they’re just gonna be set dressing. 

Construction of a Battle Station- In a book about the death star you’d expect a lot to be told about how it was made and the book delivers. I for one loved the detail ha, as it’s gone into how it was built and by who. Design choices and setbacks which itself were my fav parts of this. The setbacks really humanize the story and play into the ruthlessness of the empire. Experimentation with a crystal destroys a city? Blame it on a reactor leak. A group of scientists have outlived their use? Use them as practice for the laser. In fact this becomes a detective part of the story. A brilliant detail to me was that there were several cells of scientists working on the death star, each with their own focus. Shielding, gravity, containment, the weapon itself. All were under different code names and all were working on the same thing and most didn’t know it. So as scientist friends of the Erso’s start disappearing and Lyra starts putting things together, it’s a really tense situation to follow.

Baby Jyn- Baby Jyn is super adorable. It’s weird because with this book and Jyn’s own Rebel Rising, we pretty much know her whole life from cradle to Scarif. Which is a little sad. Regardless, her addition helps to flesh her out and makes that ending gut punch hit harder.

Playground- There’s a star wars playground in this. Like with kids and everything. There’s something called a grav slide and they don’t explain it but I want it. 

Saw- Saw is in this and it’s interesting to see his journey from clone wars to what we see him become in Rogue one.

Geology- Alright I’m a super nerd but there’s a part where Lyra and Jyn go off to survey a planet looking for crystals and idk I just found that super interesting.

Geonosians- Are used for construction of the death star and it was interesting to see how they switched sides. We also get some insight into their culture and methods. Like apparently when working on a project it’s totally normal for them to just start killing each other sometimes which is rad ha.

Jedi- It’s an interesting perspective this book gives because the Jedi are lost pretty quickly and so the outlook on them is negative in universe with everyone all “those traitors rargh!” with Lyra as the voice of that can’t be true. She has a reverence for the force I find super interesting and it plays into her hippieish. She’s very spiritual and used to spend time in the Jedi gardens which I didn’t even know was a thing. I love seeing how normies interact with the force and how it can still play a role in their lives. 

That’s all I got at the moment! If it’s not clear, I really loved this book. It was written by James Luceno who wrote motherfucking Darth Plagueis from legends otherwise known as the best star wars book ever. He has such an amazing talent for linking the universe together in a way that makes it feel alive and there’s no better world builder in the game. I’m a sucker for that so I just had a wonderful time and read it pretty non stop. I’d place it fairly high in my list of canon books, so if all this sounds interesting, give it a read! It adds to Rogue One while also telling it’s own very compelling story with some amazing characters. That’s it from me ha! May the force of others be with you!

[phoenixyfriend]

I personally would *really* like to know more about Mace's intro to General Obi-Wan, and how Anakin and Obi-Wan interact in the mind space now. That's got to be so weird, right? Though I bet it's VERY useful when the kids are having some emotion or issue that they can't quantify or explain, or that they don't want to explain: ask the grownup versions and they'll be able to say what's going down. But I mean, in mind-space does OW & A's relationship average out into 'very affectionate (cont)

(cont) brothers who are *very* invested in each other's well being? (They can have the Dad conversation of 'please eat your veggies' from EITHER direction!) I'm imagining, just, a lot of lounging on each other. Mace is introduced to the older versions via meditation and the first thing OW does, even before saying hello, is stroll over to A, sit down, throw his legs across his lap and lean into his side. Also, imagine A coming to OW for advice in meditation, and Ben going to A for advice IRL.

My favorite part of the Jedi Babies AU is what adult!Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is like in the meditation-area, is what I'm saying. Followed by how the mini-versions of Soka and Ben act out in real space. The whole thing with them very seriously researching local law so they can hold accurate trials with their stuffed animals was adorable, and I loved how foreboding and mystic Ahsoka came off in the Dooku conversation.

I went back and re-read a bunch of the Jedi babies posts and I have to admit, this: "He gets headaches if he tries to think like an adult for too long, so he shifts between “Master Kenobi, helping Anakin figure out how to fix the world” and “literal child who just wants a nap and cuddles.”" actually probably answers all of my questions and means that adult!OW's relationship with Anakin is probably much the same, just. Still with more cuddles. And prob. with better communication/ less criticism.

OKAY SO (human) babies are like. Wired to require human contact. It's a chemical thing. If you hold a baby, the baby's body will make oxytocin and stuff like that, and the baby will be happy!

(And also not die. Babies can absolutely die without enough physical contact.)

So IRL/waking Soka and Ben are in a position where they constantly crave physical contact, because they are So Damn Young. Obviously, the main provider of that contact is Anakin, and each other, and Shmi, so they're pretty quickly accustomed to being really, really tactile with 'Dad.'

This transfers to the adult shared mindspace, in that they're so used to hugs and cuddles with Anakin that they all just kind of... drift together. The shaping of that physical contact isn't the same, for a variety of reasons, but there's a lot of leaning against each other, Soka lying down with her head in someone's lap, Anakin and Ben making sure their shoulders touch when they sit down, etc. When meeting Mace, they sit so that Anakin's got his arm over Ben's shoulders, which isn't that weird of a position for two adult men who consider each other brothers. They're less tactile, if only because adult General Kenobi can't crawl into Anakin's lap the way the kid version can, but there's still skinship and shared body heat and hugs. It's only weird if you remember that the older of them is currently the slightly creepy eight-year-old you met half an hour ago.

They are undeniably family in every manner, though. That part is never in question.

It's a little weird, moreso for Ben than for Soka. She's gone from little sister to daughter, but she's still 'younger female family member, who views Anakin as a loving authority on account of being an older family member.'

Ben's gone from parent to child, and when a solid 98% of his time is spent as the child, but the history is that of being the parent and being the one with advice, it's weird. They still mostly manage to make it work, though, because meeting up in the mindspace is usually done only for strategizing and whatnot, and gets less and less necessary as they get older. Soka's headaches-when-I-try-to-think-with-my-full-history taper off by the time she's about eighteen, physically; she’s actually two years older than she was at the point of time travel, by that point, but she’s got thirty years of memories so her brain needs a wee bit extra time to grow to hold all of it. Ben... I want to say early twenties for him, because he's got so much more to process.

By that point, they're... not quite who they were, but they're not exactly fresh new people, either. It was never a case of whether or not they'd 'meld,' because they were never really separate, just unable to access everything and limited by the wiring they had. As they can process more and more, they think with some of their old methods (e.g. critical thinking on how to assess propaganda, strategy patterns to approach a battlefield, rebuilding habits for lightsaber usage that they remember in theory but don't actually feel natural yet) in tandem with learning new ones from their new environment (e.g. learning Mandalorian battle logic, Tatooine survival priorities).

There's like. A whole thing in my brain about how Mandalorian, Tatooine, Jedi, Coruscanti, and Shili cultural and logic patterns interact.

WORD OF NOTE: I was an international business major who focused on intercultural communications and marketing. I'm thinking about these in terms of like... Hofstede's cultural dimensions and that whole thing where (I can't remember the actual term) a proper sentence in Russian looks like a run-on in English because the way we structure things looks completely different, and the way information is supposed to be presented when written in order for a person to optimally process what they're reading is completely different due to how we're all trained to learn, and when you pair that with the child psychology aspect of also learning new languages with adjusted neuroplasticity while slowly regaining access to full adult memories as time passes in which you have familiar but completely different cultural values that you now have to reconcile with the things you've learned to consider important with the people who are raising you--

I have a lot of thoughts on this sort of thing.

To put it lightly.

[fanfictin]

3-2

“nothing as of yet” “Only you could be worried about the ships i already shot down”

aw duel fights, anaking again weird sith lady and obiwan ofc against grevious

i love how they just fuckin kick each other. they have lightsabers and guns but they also hit. pfft. she just straight up kicked anakin in the face. nice.

3-4

“Should you really proceed without the council’s approval” padme “We do it all the time. Don’t we, Snips?”  “Yep.” padme, quieter “I can’t believe they let you teach” anaking looks so smug,, pfft

3-6

“Master obiwan caused trouble? that’s a first.” “ugh” (he just Does Not want to Talk  about it rip. dont make anakin talk abt it ahsoka) “Just give me the lightsaber”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt” “Nothing you wouldn’t have done” ahshsjflfsj ahsoka you’re killing your master ahsoka

3-7

“If I’m not with you, who else will watch your back?” oh ahsoka she cares for her master

3-10

(anakin should go to hang out w obiwan like My wife took my padawan and i have nothing to do)

3-12

star fighting duo,, i love their red and yellow ships. “Anakin! I’m going to need help!!” yes for asking for help

yes for fighting ventrress together

3-14

“so much for not starting something” “Hey don’t look at me!” they’re so dumb i love them fighting together

did anakin just do the salute thing that obiwan does???

obiwan w the hand on anakin’s shoulder briefly,, pls

with the holding anakin back again--

didnt that thing just land on them-- okay i guess jedi are impervious to crush injuries

“We’ll take him together” “RIght.” crey

3-15

DISASTER TRIO ADVENTURE AGAIN???!! YES

anakin is so fucking dramatic and petty i love it

all black out and all wake up. fun times. theyre just Who landed the ship

“we’ll be fine. as long as we stay together” thanks obiwan, now yu’re definitely not going to stay together

rockfall seperate! a favourite trope!!

anaking he’s just asking if youre alright and didnt get crushed by the rocks,, theyre no need to be so dramatic and angsty-- ankin pls obiwan just cares---

“is it true he is the chosen one” -activate obiwan protective mode- “What do YOU know of such things??” also why does ahsoka have 2 lightsabers--

lol he just turned into a bat. that’s pretty cool yo.

oh-- this is basically the crystal cave! hm. that’s not good. and a ghost quigon talking to obiwan? weird. “I’ve trained him as well as i could” bless

oooo they’re all having visions. nice.

“I think anakin may be in trouble” ahsoka i love you

eh that was pretty cool. many troubled anakin codas could be writen after that. nice.

3-16 

oh it’s still them! anakin is sleepin,, bless him

oh nice. action. “was it a nightmare” oh ahsoka. love it. and yes it was but now it’s reality.

another crash landing, nice. “I didnt think you saw it” o “it was a GIANT TOWER of COURSE i SAW IT” a

the SHOULDER stop. nice. and he didnt listen. of course.

well yeah climbing is hard work. stop being so dramatic anakin.

“you might want to check up on him” thanks bad guy, obiwan will do just that

okay that was cool. asoshka is fine now, anakin is n’t glowing any more, they’re going to head off.

3-17

continuation? whoa

they’re just chillin in their ship. “You did well anakin. how do you feel?” thanks obiwan that helps 

whelp bye anakin

aw waking asokha and giving her tea,, bless obewan

“Wheres. anakin.” protective master mode activated

“Look after the ship, i’m going to find anakin” ahsokas just like well ok then bye obiwan

oh it’s literally just rots foreshadowing premonitions, cool.

“anakin. are you alright?” no definitely not, in the bad side rn, but we’ll catch up with your worried tone later

okay yeah just nake him collapse again that’s fine. you guys are worse than the angels in spn

“are you alright” yes thanks for asking again, fine now master

okay yeah just throw em away that’s fine. yknow getting thrown on the floor hurts more than you think in like real life

okay sure that’s fine. just white out and wake up on the ship. sure.

3-18

“You’re just being protective again” why yes, yes he is.

“you either Do or Die. and that’s not a risk i’m willing to share.” oh. anakin pls that’s such a good quote.

fucking incredible “I must have carbon sickness bc i could swear that’s Ahsoka” “Your eyes are fine. it’s ahsoka’s HEARING that needs helps”

also oh my GOSH this is that gifset i’ve had in my likes FOREVER. the one where obiwan just fuckin snaps his head around to listen to ahsoka and just goes “I see anakin’s new teaching method is to do as i say not as i do” fuckin savage

i also like the return of Snips as the nickname, and quite often too - i imagine in fic they must have had a talk from when possessed ahsoka said she hated the name

aw ahsoka being teensy. also that’s a very ellie and joel thing. opening the door from the other side and the mentor being grumpy. nice.

well that was fun. snakin got sucked to the roof as well bc of his mental arm pfffttt and got hismelf down while being elecetrocuted. cool.

3-19

“sorry I’m late” a “how nice of you to join us” o Anakin don’t smirk at that. don’t smirk like that at your master.

see i knew that would hit you. now youre hittign the ground again aniakin. that shit hurts you know

3-20

no-- this is not how you use grenades- you have to save them for the shield enemies-- have you never playyed unhcharted---

you cant just burn his body in lava-- okay you did it. well. at least you used the force together.

anyway this is a pretty cool episode i guess. continuation, less h/c but still good.

3-21

ahsoka and anakin mission!-- never mind they’re spitting up. sigh.

okay well this episode is called padawan lost so. i’m sure she’ll be found. also this is literally just the hunger games.

aww what a nice reunion, that was sweet

“Thank you, master.” “You’re welcome. My padawan” pls stop,, anakin and ahsoka are too cute

4-1

oh nakin got his helmet off underwater and snips got it for him just “you call for backup?” and he just “I HAD it under control snips” while he’s coughing up water still ah,, them. also “Ha! I knew you’d say that”

4-3

this water level has gone on for 3 episode so far,,,,

you can’t, electrocute someone underwater-- oh well fine. that’s just anakin’s luck isn’t it.

4-4

wow anakin’s so used to lightening that it takes quite a bit to knock him out rip

whoa will padme trade grevious for anakin? yes. probably. esp when he’s being lighteninged even when unconscious. that’s rude.

okay anakin yeah wake up just when padme pulls you into her arms. and then she helps him walk,, bless.

4-7

the duo are back! oh is this the one where obiwan fakes his death bc i know that’s coming and i am not enthused.

4-11

oh wow that was very sudden. Anger Anakin appears and obiwan tells him to CHILL basically then when ahsoka asks, obiwan admits anakin was a slave and ahsoka says she’ll keep an eye on him,, they love so much

hey dont throw obiwan around like that, he’s an old man

anakin and ahsoka duo lookin for bombs

that was fun. anakin almost fell out of the ship. always good.

4-12

anger anakin abt slaves. nice. even mentioning his mother.

“Looks like i have to rescue you again, old man.” “I knew you’d have a backup plan”

well they all got electrocuted to unconsciousness. good plan gang.

4-13

and there anakin goes getting electrified by dooku again. sigh.

“Anakin, i’m please to see you” aw even beatne down obiwan is there

that was a good mission.

4-15 ah this one is called Deception so i’m guessing it’s the deception arc where obiwan fakes his death. ouch. anger anakin is definitely going to be back.

yes ouch. that hurt. 

this is just fasttrack anikan to the dark side run by killing his master

“Everyone knows how close we are. it was his reaction that sold it” this is fucking rude. but true. still very rude.

4-16

“He killed my master. My best friend.” oh dear. ouchies.

anyway chancellor palpatine is here now to continue anakin’s fast  track to the darkside by killing his brother

well at least he went with ahsoka. ..how long does this arc last....

aw well at least he still cares. ha. accidently knocks anakin off then hurries off to make sure he’s okay, then chokes him out. just normal stuff.

ahsoka straight up standing over anakin soul eater maka and soul style ,,, oh my

“Obiwan is still alive” and ahsoka helps him back to the ship. good for them.

4-17

hey well THANKS for telling anakin that yoda. so useful. so great to know. nice how you all killed his master in front of him for a plan. cool. he’ll brush that off.

4-18

yep anakin’s still pissed. honestly good for him.

“Hopefully i’ll be where i always am” a “he means saving the day” ah no he means next to obiwan

obiwan watching over them from a sniper,, aw

“Mace, Anakin’s down” he’s still looking out,, crey

well that wasn’t a fyll on yell but it was a telling off. good foryou anakin. yelling at your oncedead master is fine for a bit.

oooo surprise end twist! anakin facing dooku

obiwan running to help anakin and stopping to make sure he’s alright,, but points lost for still being in disguise

4-21

anakin and ahsoka go to a diner. that’s it that’s this episode.

“Master? Anakin?” Ahsoka trying to get his attention when he’s worrying quiet :)

okay so darth maul is alive apparently

4-22

haha obiwan getting the shit beaten out of him and saved by ventress then using a red lightsaber. hilarious.

[archer3-13]

since @agoddamn has been talkin bout star wars a lot recently, and cause i feel like sharing something i spend a weird amount of time one, heres some of my unedited thoughts on rewriting the prequel trilogy episode 1 below the read me

1

In a time of decline for the galactic republic, strife emerges on the planet of naboo. The nimean trade federation has enacted a blockade of the planet eager to strangle naboos resources and force unfair trade settlements upon the planet. Determined to bring a settlement to the matter and maintain peace and justice in the republic, the jedi council sends diplomats to arrange a peaceful resolution to the conflict. However, they arrive too late as the trade federation have escalated the matter into a full scale invasion of naboo itself.

We open on naboo in the midst of the invasion, the naboo security forces attempting to hold back the droid army but failing miserably in light of superior firepower. Quickly the droid army successfully capture queen Amidala with nute gunray threatening harsh punishments should Amidala not acquiesce to his demands. Amidala says ‘fuck you’ though not in those words, and nute decides to let her ‘cool her head’ well imprisoned [since privately he admits that said punishments would ruin the ‘economic potential’ of naboo since it would require more expenditure on their own part]. Meanwhile the jedi diplomats, quigon jinn and obi-wan Kenobi have arrived at the trade federation battle sphere under the assumption of peace talks.

When the TF attempts to kill them however, jinn had correctly guessed beforehand and that the TF would try to use poison gas in the attempt. Jinn and Kenobi successfully avoid the attempted murder and sneak down to naboo with a part of the invasion force. Kenobi is a brash padwan eager to get into the action to prove his worth, though with a sharp mind for tactics and negotiation as jinn points out. Well jinn is experienced but quirky, respected by the council but equally disliked for his unorthodox methods and tendency to disobey when it suits him. Jinn by nature is a ‘negotiator’ however, skilled as a duelist but most comfortable at the table and trying to encourage kenobis own skill as a negotiator instead of kenobis desire for martial heroisim.

On naboo they sneak into the capital, jinn discerning that if they can get queen Amidala away from naboo and to corecsant they can make a case for more punitive measures against the trade federation. Kenobi is eager for an opportunity to earn a name on the battlefield, convinced that some form of war is on the horizon and that he’ll finally earn his knighthood that way. Jinn however wishes to avoid an escalated conflict, hoping that if they get Amidala down to corescant and the senate then they can force the senate to act definitively and force the TF to back off through heavy diplomatic and especially economic pressures [economic pressures would hurt the TF the most since they value their bottom line over any particular ideology]. However in the process of escaping, queen Amidala ends up taking a fatal wound and dies in transit, additionally their escape flight gets damaged and forces them down to tantooine. [r2d2 shows up around this point as well, as a service droid that obi-wan vents to]

Jinn is at a bit of a loss. Without Amidala wars almost inevitable and they have a responsibility to the people of naboo to inform the republic about naboos plight. If they don’t war may still be put off but naboo will suffer, if they do then war will begin but naboo could be quickly saved. Kenobi well upset by the loss of queen Amidala, since he views it as a failure on his record in that padwan almost knight way, does find himself somewhat expectant for the coming conflict since it means a chance to prove himself and make up for the failure of protecting queen Amidala. Regardless, jinn ventures out to get a new hyperdrive for the ship along with Kenobi and one of the queens remaining ‘hand maidens’, in this case the young girl padme [14].

Padme is fierce and determined, unafraid of speaking her mind when it comes to it. But shes also equally uncertain in her opinions due to inexperience, a more well presented argument being capable of knocking her off balance so to speak even if the opposing argument is weaker overall. Thus well she has the makings of a masterful leader and politician shes untested and a skilled manipulator can easily lead her on. She also has difficulties accepting compromise, again in part due to her youth but more so as a general principle of character.

Padme is distraught over the queens death, but resolves to do whatever she can to not let it be in vain and so traverses moss eisely with them. During this time, jinn observes that padme is quite the thinker and powerful speaker in her own right, good at bartering and negotiating with others. Kenobi and padme strike up something of a retort at this time as well, padme holding a childish crush on the fledgling knight and Kenobi simply fascinated by the oddities in padmes behaviour [even teasing her occasionally about it, though he pushes her away seeing her both as too young, Kenobi being 24 and his age being part of his frustration in regards to promotion, and his duties as a jedi as being more important, which only increases padmes crush as Kenobi being ‘hard to get’ and a ‘cool jedi’].Browsing about for a hyperdrive compatible with their ship, they do eventually find one owned by watto and more importantly find slave Anakin working there [12].

Anakin is quite and mild mannered, shy and brash in equal measure as kids and preteens often are. He finds more joy in making machines and with his mother then in talking with others, and his innate talent with machines means he can be quite immersed in their little world and idiosyncrasies. Hes also an idealist at heart, looking up to jedi through the lens of colourful bedtime stories and swashbuckling tales. He also doesn’t get along with padme, not now anyways. Padme sees Anakin as an annoying kid distracting her from her crush and ‘adult work’ [even though shes only 2 years older then him]. Anakin, childishly, views her as a ‘smelly girl’ who gets freaked out by the smallest things [more so, padme is uncomfortable around machines then her being a scaredy cat]. They do both share something important in common, they both find it immensely difficult to compromise.

Anakin, drawn in by a trailing r2d2 and fascinated by the little droid, r2d2 being top of the line at the present time, overhears their troubles and starts trailing and peppering them with questions. Padme is annoyed, Kenobi is bemused but jinn, jinn seems drawn in. jinns tendency towards the unorthodox is usually derived from a powerful sense of intuition, something he believes is derived from the force and so he has a tendency to be better able to ‘sense’ things out and future events through the force. And Anakin, Anakin is going to be important. Not only is he incredibly powerful, but the force seems to coalesce around him in such a way as if to ‘whisper’ about the monumental destiny this child will have in shaping the future of the galaxy. Convinced that he has to protect this child and tutor him for his eventual destiny, jinn makes a gamble with the force immune watto. If Anakin wins the upcoming pod race, something Anakin had been bragging about doing soon, then jinn gets the hyperdrive and anakins freedom. If Anakin loses, then watto gets jinn as a slave. Watto ups the ante to include the naboo ship, despite padmes protest, since even if jinn is a jedi hes still an old one and a hyperdrive in mos eisly can fetch a lot of cash. Jinn reluctantly agrees to the new wager, assuaging padme and kenobis concerns with a ‘I know what im doing’ kind of nod and wink.

As they leave they notice that it will soon become dark, and traveling through the tantoinne desert at night is dangerous. Anakin offers to let them stay at his place, where they meet anakins mom. Anakins mother is the long suffering sort, a dutiful parent to her child who she sports an almost picturesque relation of mother and son with. Outside of that though shes harried by overwork and the difficulties of not only being a poor parent but a slave raising her own child. Anakin regals her mother with knowledge of Kenobi and jinn being jedi, and excitedly tells her about how when he wins the pod race tomorrow her and him will be freed from that nasty ol watto. Kenobi and padme don’t think too much on this, but jinn internally flinches, making a late night stop at wattos shop. Jinn tries to renegotiate, the mother, Anakin, and the hyperdrive if Anakin wins but watto is unwilling to budge. Either both of the slaves, or one of them and the hyperdrive is as far as watto is willing to go. Grimly jinn acquiesces and returns to anakins house.

Kenobis awake and waiting for jinn, burning with questions. How does jinn plan to ensure Anakin will win the race, why is he so interested in Anakin to begin with, is it even possible for Anakin to win? Padme, after having a brief comedy scene with Anakin whos quietly tucked away in bed now, follows up by asking why don’t they just arrest watto for slave trading and take the stuff? Slave trading is illegal in the republic after all. Jinn replies by emphasising that it isn’t that simple, tatoinne is in hutt space [padme having revealed a gap in her knowledge about outer rim affairs through her comments as a ‘core worlder’] so republic laws don’t apply here since it lays outside their jurisdiction. Tatoinne being hutt space is also why jinn wont be, or rather cant, help Anakin in the race as jabba the hutt will be attending in person so if jabba catches him using the force they can expect swift and brutal retaliation. Anakin will have to win on his own. Kenobi and padme both aghast ask how jinn can be so confident in this gamble when they have to rely on some slave kid, but jinn cryptically answers “because he can’t lose, the force would not allow it.” Much to Kenobi and padmes confusion.

Race day, and Anakin is off with some advice from jinn to trust his instincts “as they will never let you down”. The race goes as you expect, Anakin showcasing his prodigious skills in a pod racer as his rivals attempt to trip him up, the final burning out stretch, and finally Anakin does it crossing in a healthy first place to the euphoria of the crowd and the shock of Kenobi and padme. Anakin is ecstatic, until the bad news comes, shimi will not be joining them. Anakin is upset, that mean ol wattos up to his tricks and his faith in the jedi is already slightly shaken as jinn doesn’t just bust out his lightsaber. At first he refuses to go, but eventually shimi steps in. Shes scared of the prospect as well, sad at the parting, but she also emphasises that this is the best for anakins future. Jinn approached her the night before, apologizing for being unable to secure a deal with watto for her release and asking for her permission to train Anakin as a jedi. The prospect scared her even then, of not being with Anakin, but the better future it would allow for him was something she was determined to give him. Giving her blessings she has Anakin promise her to be strong, and to become the best jedi in the galaxy, something Anakin tearfully accepts going with jinn and the others at his mothers urging.

On the way back to the ship, darth maul attacks. He had been following them since naboo for some time now, and had finally managed to catch up on tatoinne. Kenobi takes the opportunity to almost immediately duel with darth maul, but quickly ends up on his butt as darth maul proves to be the superior duelist. Jinn is forced to intervene, urging Kenobi to get the others on the ship and get it going as he distracts the zabarak. They do, and in the nick of time as well jinn manages to hold his own with maul its clear that the ferocious zabarak has the upper hand in the duel, opening the hatch and giving jinn a smooth get away. Things have gotten even more dire, a sith lord has just been seen for the first time in over a thousand years.

Making their way to corouscent, Kenobi broods a bit over his falling short against the sith zabarak before being interrupted by padme and Anakin. Padme is there to console her crush, but Anakin interrupts with somewhat frantic questions about who that was, and if the zabarak was the near mythical sith that often get mentioned in jedi legends and tales. Kenobi confirms that yes it was a sith, and a powerful one at that affirming to Anakin for both of their sakes since Anakin is still shaken by parting from his mother and the siths sudden appearance that Kenobi will be the one to defeat the dastardly sith [even though on practical terms neither he or jinn can measure up to darth maul alone].

Jinn meanwhile takes time to inform the jedi council, now that they’re back in republic space and out of danger, as to whats happened on naboo and on tatoinne. The council is understandably shocked, dispersing to inform the senate of what has transpired and prepare the jedi order for whatever actions they may need to take in order to bring the conflict to a swift and decisive end. Jinn also takes the opportunity to inform yoda/mace about his decision to bring Anakin into the order for jedi training. Neither of them are thrilled about jinn once again dropping something like this on their laps, but they agree to atleast test anakins aptitude for the force once hes on corouscent.

Arriving on courescant senator palpatine, representative for naboo and a well loved senator by the populace though more so for the cult of personality hes built around himself then for his policy or voting record which is otherwise suspiciously light. Palpatine has of course been informed of the tragic death of queen Amidala, giving his condolences to padme Amidala the queens cousin which comes as a bit of a shock to Anakin and Kenobi though not to jinn who had already puzzled it out. Padme toddles off with palpatine to discuss ‘matters of state’ and get ready for their upcoming meeting with the senate well Kenobi, Anakin, and jinn head for the jedi temple.

At the temple, Anakin marvels at the temples architecture which has stood for thousands of years, but gets somewhat bored of it commenting on the temple being stuffier then he imagined. Kenobi admonishes Anakin for his disrespectful tone, but jinn laughs it off adding that yes the jedi temple has become rather stuffy these days. Though he takes care to tell Anakin to be on good behaviour for his meeting with masters mace and yoda as they will be measuring anakins talent for the force with what time they can spare. He also adds some encouragement however, reassuring Anakin that he’ll pass with flying colours. Passing through the temple they enter a private room with mace and yoda, who ask jinn to leave so that they can test Anakin.

We cut to padme and palpatine discussing the business of queen amidalas death and having padme relay the events of her struggles to palpatine directly. It’s a tragic blow to be certain for naboo, but palpatine stresses that to the republic senate such an incident will still not be enough to incite them to decisive action. Valerian, though how he does like the man personally he insists, is weak willed and mired in bureaucracy after all, he wont force the senates hand and he will move slowly in order to ensure everything is done correctly and to the letter of republic law. And if the senate does not care, which they will not even for a place as respected as naboo, for what they see as a local system matter, they wont force valerians hand. Padme is despondent at this, she knows naboo needs action now not later, and that time is already short as it is. What can be done to save the people her cousin died for? Palpatine smiles slyly, “fortunately my dear I have a plan already in the making. All you need to do is follow my lead.”

Back in the temple itself, Kenobi is practicing his saber play dueling with other jedi padwans and even upstaging a jedi knight. Regardless, he remains frustrated because of how easily maul toyed with him and is determined to turn the tables in their next encounter. Jinn talks with him to try and get a handle on these emotions, reminding Kenobi that such feelings of superiority and inferiority lead not just to unjedi like behaviour but poor actions in general. Pride is one thing, pride to the point of ignorance is another. Kenobi is not convinced however, annoyed by jinns interest in Anakin and frustrated over his own career, though he keeps such thoughts private and instead lies to his master in order to assuage jinns concerns. Jinn is also unconvinced by Kenobi, but before he can prod further is called away by master yoda. Jinn reluctantly leaves, but not before trying to reaffirm his words to Kenobi and reassure and steady his padwan. Kenobi, is ultimately distracted by his own thoughts however and once jinn leaves, returns to practice with intensity.

At the ‘testing chambers’ door, we see a restless Anakin pacing when jinn arrives. Anakins clearly nervous and frustrated, as master yoda won’t tell him the results of the test and windu left to attend to ‘matters regarding the republic senate’ awhile ago. Jinn helps to calm Anakin down, sharing an amusing anecdote about windu from jinns own past to help make the man less freightning in anakins eye and assuring Anakin that no matter what happens he will be there for him. Anakins touched, thanking jinn profusely but before they can talk more two things happen. First, master yoda calls for jinn to enter, and second a republic senate guard appears with orders to escort the young Anakin to senator palpatines office. Jinn is suspicious about the guard, feeling a sensation of dread in his stomach that makes him momentarily pause. Usually following his instincts on everything, jinn decides to ignore them this one time after a brief pause and watching a now cheerful but confused Anakin follow the guard. He can’t keep yoda waiting and logically he knows that palpatine is a friend of the jedi, one of the few senators who actually listens to them and has helped them out on so many occasions. Hes never been comfortable around the man personally, but logically there isn’t any reason he should be worrying right now so against his instincts, he simply says wishes Anakin to be safe, to return to the temple as soon as possible, and he sweeps into the testing chamber.

Inside, yoda offers jinn a seat to wish jinn graciously accepts with humble reverence. Jinn may be unorthodox, but he greatly respects master yoda and yoda has always personally liked jinn even if he thinks jinns behaviour is troublesome to deal with and borderline worrisome at times. Regardless, they are here to talk about Anakin, and yoda opens up with the good news as it were that Anakin is indeed immensely gifted with the force, perhaps unparalleled in raw talent as far back as yoda can remember. Not only that but Anakin is very bright despite his background, mechanically gifted and well not academically inclined perhaps possessing a sharp wit and creativity. So why so much hesitance jinn asks. Not only is it rolling off of yoda in the force, jinn can tell just by looking at the old master thanks to the years hes known the jedi grandmaster. So yoda spills that neither he nor windu are considering allowing the boy to become a jedi. The boy is unquestionably talented certainly, but such talent breeds arrogance and isolation. Hes sharp witted and creative but inflexible in his mindset and views. Jinn argues that that’s hardly any worse then many of the jedi in the temple, even if its to a more extreme degree. Certainly that’s what training is meant to help anakin to overcome in part. But the grandmaster is not finished, because well jinn is right in his assertions there is another thing that concerns both windu and yoda. Fear. There is a deep rooted fear in the boys mind, one that drives his faults to such extreme lengths. Such Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the suffering of all. Combined with his age, it all makes for a dangerous combination that both yoda and windu worry will lead to dangerous consequences should Anakin fall to the darkside. Jinn is resolute though, he made a promise, he knows that Anakin will be a turning point in the destiny of the galaxy he can feel it. If training Anakin is a gamble, then it’s a gamble they have to take. Especially with the knowledge that the sith are possibly returning right under their noses, if they let Anakin back into the galaxy without guidance then the sith will simply take what the jedi passed up. Yoda retorts that they have no intention of simply letting Anakin out there with sith running around, instead windu and him both agree that at the next council meeting they will suggest that Anakin should be sent to the agricorps where he can be protected. Jinn angrily says that he made a promise to Anakin, to anakins mother that Anakin would become a jedi so if the council will not deem to train him then jinn will in their stead. Yoda sternly retorts that that is not jinns decision, before dismissing him with jinn angrily storming out.

Anakin meanwhile has arrived at palpatines office, still confused as to whats going on. The senate guard leaves Anakin and palpatine to a private conversation at palpatines request. And for the most part its rather innocuous, palpatine simply wanting luke to tell his own version of the events, or atleast what hes witnessed so far, and an opportunity for palpatine to learn more about this fascinating young boy from Tatooine. Annies initially hesitant but gets pulled in to trusting palpatine through the mans charisma and ‘fun grandpa’ demeanour joking along with Anakin and encouraging him. The conversation drifts towards the jedi and anakins excitement about becoming one, and palpatine replies with enthusiasm that some fresh blood like Anakin is exactly whats needed to shake things up in the order. Why, palpatine would know hes a dear friend of so many jedi, hes even friends with dear old master yoda, so he knows that for as good and diligent as they are they tend to be mired in their old traditions. Yes, palpatine assures Anakin, he will be watching anakins career with great interest as anakin transforms the very foundation of the jedi. Anakin is happy, palpatine feeding directly into anakins burgeoning ego and hero complex. Palpatine gets a call from senator serrano, its almost time for the plan to go underway. He thanks Anakin for his time and calls for a senate guard to escort Anakin back to the temple. Work is afoot after all. He bids Anakin goodbye for now as Anakin is escorted back to the jedi temple, smiling disarmingly friendly all the while, before turning to his desk and calling for an escort to the senate chambers.

Finally we turn to the senate chambers themselves. It’s a flurry of activity as senators angrily try and talk over each other, hurl petty insults, cling to rules and planetary identities and generally create chaos on the floor. It’s a discussion over matters of the naboo occupation, images compiled by the late queens guard detailing the horrors experienced. Its compelling evidence and a number of more humanitarian minded senators call for immediate action, those in the pocket of the trade federation or who otherwise dislike naboo or interfering in other plants want an investigation. The undecided are waffling for a compromise. Valrean is failing as a chancellor, trying to instill order but lacking the charisma to do so and getting caught up quoting republic law and procedures to the infuriation of all. The chancellors popularity had already been in sharp decline but this chaos is only serving to foul opinion even further and its been like this since the arrival of the queens attendants. Finally that’s when palpatine and naboos representatives finally take the stand as it were, alongside a dressed up padme. Palpatine though his strength of words and charisma is able to calm things down to a manageable level, before directing their attention towards padme Amidala for an important speech.

Padme is obviously nervous, fiddling with her attire and hesitant to begin. Palpatine reassures her however, reminding her of the people shes striving to save doing this which reaffirms padmes confidence. Padme begins her speech and it is impassioned, briefly detailing the hardships the late queen went through in order to save her people. Padme appeals to republic pride, to humanitarianism, and then she begins the important part of her speech included at palpatines insistence. She begins tearing into chancellor valrean. She drags him through the mud, reinforcing that such a failure of leadership and republic unity has happened on his watch, that his leniency against the trade federation has allowed them to act with impunity, it has fractured republic unity, and that people died because valrean failed. Her speech finished it is met with resounding applause and enthusiasm, much to her disbelief and happiness, and much bullying of valrean by the attending senators. Senator serrano stands, and proposes that a vote of no confidence be held immediately and that should it past, a senator of his peers choosing be given temporary executive power until a proper election can be held. Serrano in the same breath proposing palpatine as a potential candidate with other senators quickly throwing their hats and choices into the ring.

The votes go through simultaneously, a landslide majority to remove valrean and by a narrow margin propose senator palpatine as his replacement. Padme is relieved, palpatine is pleased. The plan went off without a hitch. With his new executive power palpatine approves immediate republic action in the form of a republic security fleet and a jedi strike team being sent to liberate the planet of naboo from an illegal occupation. Again to much applause. The senate breaks so that palpatine can legally enact these actions as the temporary chancellor, and as they leave the senate chambers he praises padme for her brilliance. Padme however is fired up, and she insists on being down there with the security team as they liberate naboo. Palpatine goes one step further, he’ll have her have immediate command of the security fleet on this mission as palpatines representative much to padmes shock. Grateful, padme tells palpatine that she wont let him down, palpatine smiles and says “I know you wont my dear.”

Cut to the courescant docks which is now in a commotion as a jedi strike team prepares to sortie with the republic security. The council isn’t happy about this, since they more so view the jedis role as mediators these days as opposed to the warriors, dare say the hitmen since their role is to capture the TF command on naboo, the senate seems to want them to be. Still, republic security is horribly outdated by this point lacking in both training and equipment so the assurance of having jedi on hand to help out is a comfort to the security forces. Plus with the reappearance of a sith its likely that he’ll be involved in naboo in some manner considering his hunt for jinns group on Tatooine. So, knock out two birds with one stone bringing peace to naboo and hopefully cutting off this sith menace before it gets out of hand.

Jinn will be in command of the strike force due to his familiarity with the situation and his seniority. Aside from him will be his padwan Kenobi and fifteen jedi knights. Republic security will be commanded by captain tarkin, a spoken critic of the jedi order and a military activist in republic politics but one who runs a tight ship and has experience as a commander. Jinn informs Anakin that anankin will not be coming on the assault despite anakins protests due to the danger it presents and that instead Anakin will be in the care of the temple for now. Jinn also informs anankin that a decision on anakins acceptance has not yet been made, but he lies that he feels confident in anakins chances. Anakin pouts and makes a reluctant goodbye and jinn prepares to leave with the strike team, though anankin quickly sneaks away and on board one of the republic security ships which takes off for naboo.

We cut to naboo at last, in a state of disrepair due to TF occupation and the once pristine landscape now being prepared for industrial work and TF factories in which the population will “work diligently to pay off their debts”. Naboo security forces have organized small resistance cells and have been trying to hit the TF wherever they can but they have yet to make a break through, and have been demoralized by rumors of queen amidalas death. They intercept messages however that the republic security forces along with jedi will be coming to naboo in short order to liberate it from TF control once again invigorating the nabooians to begin the fight for the republic. So when the republic does arrive, they arrive to open conflict in the naboo streets much to tarkins irritation. Not only do they have to retake naboo, they now have to do with naboo security forces getting in the way. Jinn proposes they alter the game plan, instead of a first strike to take the capital by surprise the security forces will draw out the bulk of the TF droid army well the jedi strike team will infiltrate and arrest nute gunray for his illegal occupation and shut off the droid army with the captured nutes help. Tarkin begrudgingly agrees despite his own desire to bomb key targets and sweep up as a matter of efficiency when padme agrees to jinns plan. Not to mention that nute gunray has managed to bring a TF battle sphere to the party which means the space battle is likely to be far more intense then anticipated. As such ten jedi will sortie to help in the space battle and the other seven including jinn and Kenobi will arrest gunray along with security soldiers [led by padme at her insistence, which tarkin allows since it makes his job easier not to have her hovering around his shoulder].

So the alarms start blarin and people rush to their battle stations. Anakin is caught having snuck aboard after accidently sneakin on board the shuttle padmes team are using to land in an effort to hide himself. With no time to spare as the space battle erupts into chaos he tags along with padmes team who get separated from the jedi team during the chaos. Each group will take a different route, padmes group making a stop near the prisons and the broadcast system to help rally the nabooian people and the jedi making a beeline for the TF command. Things generally go well, Anakin and padme develop more of a camaraderie and retort during this time as he proves surprisingly helpful both in his mechanical knowledge and his skills with a blaster, and Anakin comes to more so admire padme as she displays her own appreciation of his skills and shows off her own skills. Eventually the jedi and padmes group reconvene in the hanger bay, the jedi having chased nute gunray to here after discovering that the rest of the TF command has moved to the battlesphere in orbit. jinn is upset that Anakin tagged along but glad hes safe and Kenobi frazzled and on edge biting a bit. Before anything else can really happen however, darth maul makes his appearance.

Maul had been serving as something of an enforcer for nute gunray on sidiouses behalf, casually putting down groups of naboo security resistance and being the silent ‘muscle’ to gunrays brains. If only on mauls masters orders. Gunray retreats and gives maul the order to capture padme and eliminate the jedi, one which maul is more then happy to do. Jinn sets up to take on the sith lord with four of the knights and tasking Kenobi and another knight to protect padme much to kenobis irritation. Kenobi at first follows this order, but veers back to the fight shortly afterwards in a moment of ego to the knights panic. Anakin meanwhile sneaks onto a naboo fighter in order to help clear the way for padmes group to stabilize the situation but suddenly finds himself in an automated take off along with other newly activated fighters as they head off to support the space battle above naboo. Padme is panicking herself but remembering that palpatine said hes counting on her marshals her spirits to help direct the battle in the naboo streets as the current available highest ranking political officer.

Meanwhile the lightsaber duel is not going well. Despite being five on one maul is easily toying with his jedi attackers if still pressed on the defensive. Using clever tactics however maul is able to bait out two of the knights further from the others and quickly cuts them down with the opening to the horror of the others, causing a third knight to rush in out of a desire for vengeance but get cut down easily as well. Kenobi attacks maul at this point having witnessed the death of the other knights, forcing jinn from taking a more defensive strategy to an aggressive one despite jinn initially switching to that out of caution. three on one prove to be capable of handling maul for a little bit but maul manages to push Kenobi out of the way and kill the last of the knights before engaging jinn one on one. Jinns clearly getting pressed but hes able to hold his own fairly well against the superior duelist through clever force powers and flexibility as well as using the zabaraks anger against him.

Everything effectively climaxes at once during this point. Anakin panics at first in the space battle but is able to regain control and help land the decisive victory for the republic through his prodigious piloting skills. Padme helps to bring control to the battlefield of naboos capital and keep their forces holding out until the battle sphere is destroyed and the droids lose central command making them easy to mop up. Jinn and maul continue their duel and for a moment jinn is able to gain the upper hand, however Kenobi in a brash bullheaded desire to triumph over the sith rushes into the fight costing jinn the victory as jinn in the chaos of the fight sacrifices himself to push Kenobi out of the way of a lethal blow. Kenobi is devastated and at first tries to overwhelm maul in a rage. Maul being far superior to Kenobi as a duelist is easily able to overcome Kenobi even taking the time to mock and taunt Kenobi in a silent playful manner [the cat enjoying its catch as it were]. Maul has Kenobi on the ropes and is about to finish the job, but a dying jinn takes the time to try and interfere against mal with the force. Kenobi, coming to realize his own foolishness and touched by his masters care and desire to protect him “releases his anger into the force” and calms his mind, allowing him to reengage maul and catch him off guard wounding the sith across the chest and causing maul to limply fall down a reactor pipe thing. Its Kenobis victory effectively but its bitter sweet, as Kenobi grieves a dying jinn who insists that Kenobi take care of Anakin and train him as a jedi before bidding Kenobi a tearful farewell as a master to a student.

And so victory at naboo! Anakin lands his ship to a heroes welcome, padme involved in the celebration and giving an impassioned speech about naboos freedom from TF invasion, and Kenobi grieving over jinns dead body and the fallen jedi on this day. We cut to a quite and somber funeral for the fallen knights and jinn, a previously joyful Anakin and padme saddened by the loss of the man alongside a precision of jedi and a newly minted knight Kenobi. If one sith was capable of this, capable of besting one of the orders currently best duelists [despite jinns protests], then if any more of them exist then the jedi order is sorely unprepared. More stubborn members of the council and palpatine insist that the sith threat though brief has now passed once more and not to worry about it but yoda and windu aren’t convinced and Kenobi is inclined to agree with them, even working past the grief. It is here though, privately, that Kenobi makes lay to jinns last wish. Regardless of the councils feelings on the matter, Kenobi will see Anakin trained. In the future, Kenobi will adhere to the council as strictly as possible and never defy them again if they give him this one time to honour jinns memory, though the validity of that claim is not a certain truth. Windu and yoda still aren’t sure, but they relent as a matter to honour the late jinn and shelter the obvious talents of Anakin skywalker.

Cut again, this time to the celebrations of naboos liberation. It is an intensely joyous affair, fireworks music and banners everywhere. Anakin is clearly enamoured with it, him being one of the people directly honoured by the celebrations, but he is also still sad about jinns death. Palpatine comforts him a little in the grandfatherly way he had previously and expressing his interest in anakins future career as a jedi. Kenobi talks to Anakin about it, expressing similar grief and helping to cheer Anakin up promising to always be there for Anakin. Both as his master and as family though only privately espousing the family bit to himself. Anakin is now able to enjoy the celebrations in Ernest and he and Kenobi enjoy the day together and the promises of a brighter future. We end however with the reminder that this tale will end in tragedy, as the now official chancellor palpatine, thanks to “his victory on naboo”, watches on in bemusement before quietly slinking away into the shadows. “Great things are afoot. Great things indeed.” He book ends with a sinister tambour, and cut to credits.

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5 Theories That Make Famously Bad Movies Awesome

Bad movies are everywhere — in theaters, on TV, and we’re reasonably sure that terrible script ideas constantly hover around Michael Bay like cartoon stink lines. But while it’s easy to shit all over these films, let’s take an affirmative approach for a change. If you use a heaping helping of positive thinking, some cinematic turds can become cinematic gold. Or, at the very least, semi-watchable. For example …

5

Aliens Aren’t The Real Bad Guys In The Alien Movies — It’s AI

Alien: Covenant, which came out this past summer, isn’t good. Even after audiences laughed at Prometheus for having a team of scientists act like Camp Crystal Lake counselors, Covenant somehow made its characters even stupider. People willingly shove their faces into slimy monster eggs and have steamy shower sex despite the fact that all their friends have been murdered. And remember how people criticized the Prometheus guys for recklessly taking off their space helmets on an uncharted planet? The Covenant crew throw on nothing but some windbreakers and floppy hats, as if their expedition is sponsored by J. Crew.

20th Century FoxWhich explains why they’d risk everything to find the source of a fucking John Denver song.

What’s interesting about the movie, though, is that it’s establishing an elaborate creation mythology for the Alien series. It’s basically a Bible story with vagina dentata monsters. Our first clue that things are about to get Biblical is that the ship is named Covenant, as in a pact with God, and it has an Ark-like load of couples to populate a new world. Also in the not-so-subtle Biblical allusions camp, James Franco is seemingly Space Jesus.

20th Century FoxWe regret to inform you that a Sony executive read that joke and greenlit Space Jesus, featuring James Franco.

The movie was originally subtitled Paradise Lost, a reference to John Milton’s epic poem about Satan and the Fall of Man. Despite the name change, a lot of that’s still in the movie. The android David rebelled against his human creators in Prometheus. By the time of Covenant, he’s killed all the Engineers, aka the alien species that genetically manufactured the human race. So yeah, David has killed “God” two times over, and has cobbled together an entire army of gross-out monsters, as Satan generally requires an army of high-grade slobs.

But more interesting than simply dabbling in familiar theological themes is the way this movie, in a sense, becomes a sacred text for the original Alien. If you think back, the villain of that film wasn’t even really the alien — it was Ash the android, and to a lesser extent Mother, the ship’s computer which was presumably from Apple’s “Uncomfortably Oedipal” line of future operating systems.

20th Century Fox

20th Century FoxYou know Ash was made by Apple too, because his innards are a bunch of needlessly confusing proprietary cables.

With Covenant, we get to see the crazy ancestry behind that conflict. Ash is likely a descendant of David, who genetically engineered that black Flubber stuff into the alien in the first place.

20th Century FoxSo yeah, the movies are less Alien, more Handsome Robot Space Satan.

So the events of Alien aren’t merely an incredible screw-up on the part of a space mining company; they’re another example of AI trying to eradicate humanity with the alien, which we now see is a decades-old conflict. Also, if we view Alien as the primary story, and Prometheus and Covenant as religious texts, their crazy, nonsensical tone makes a little more sense. Which is why robot Michael Fassbender made out with another robot Fassbender. Exactly like in the Bible.

4

The Star Wars Prequels Are Far Better When You Realize The Jedi Are Supposed To Suck

We’ve certainly said some harsh things about the Star Wars prequel trilogy in the past, most of which involved the words “steaming” and “pile.” But you know what? Let’s go in a different direction for a moment and *takes a moment to regain composure* … defend the prequels.

We all know the trilogy’s flaws — the movies feel like a high school drama class was inexplicably green-screened into Narnia. Part of the reason we all may have bristled at Episode I is that the Jedi we were so excited to finally see in action were kind of awful. They were dull, judgy douchebags, pretty much the intergalactic equivalent of the Shark Tank investors.

Lucasfilm“A Padawan without even one ponytail? Get this filth out of our sight.”

But the story makes a little more sense when you realize that the Jedi are supposed to be flawed. It’s an organization about to topple for a good reason. As Professor Joshua Sikora points out in a documentary all about defending the prequels, the biggest character arcs in the trilogy belong to Yoda and Obi-Wan, and you might not have even noticed it.

In The Phantom Menace, Qui-Gon whisks Anakin away from his home in Tatooine and his single mom, who has to stay behind and remain a slave. Quite messed up stuff for a series that was once about partying with teddy bears.

Lucasfilm

Lucasfilm“Sorry, your mom can’t come to our massive Jedi temple with us. We already have a cleaning person, you see.”

At first, it seems like some crazy anomaly, as if Qui-Gon is the black sheep of the Jedi who keeps luring small children away from their homes … until we realize that this is what the Jedi do. Yanking kids away from families is business as usual for them. That way, they can train the little tykes free of the distractions of love or home-cooked meals or rage-fueled political conversations.

LucasfilmEveryone who knew this was going on and didn’t call Coruscant CPS is a monster.

In case you didn’t notice, this doesn’t go well. The Jedi’s sloppy methods end up creating Space Hitler, and most of them get murdered. Here’s the pivotal moment: At the end of Revenge Of The Sith, Luke and Leia are born. They’re the twin offspring of the Galaxy’s most midichlorian-filled individual. If anyone could be trained, it’s these two. But Yoda and Obi-Wan realize they totally fucked up. So in the end, to balance things out and make things right, they do the opposite of what they did in Episode I: They return a child to Tatooine.

Lucasfilm

Lucasfilm“Watch over him you must, without leaving his side. Unless a spinoff prequel otherwise requires.”

The final shots of the movie show us that the best place for a child is with a loving family … as opposed to, you know, space wizard cults. George Lucas himself has adopted three kids, so the message of prequels is ultimately a personal one. Of course, the twin who ended up at a desolate dirt farm instead of a goddamn royal palace kind of got the short end of the stick.

Lucasfilm

LucasfilmDon’t worry, all the parental figures ended up dead, so it evens out.

3

Showgirls Is Filled With Mind-Boggling Symbolism

One of the most maligned movies of all time, the erotic drama Showgirls stars Elizabeth Berkley from Saved By The Bell and co-stars the death of every Saved By The Bell fan’s childhood innocence.

United ArtistsThe song she strips to was originally “I’m So Excited.”

But did Showgirls get an unfairly bad rap? At least one person thinks so. Critic Adam Nayman wrote a whole book about how underrated Showgirls is, and he makes some damn good points. For one thing, the sex-filled movie is also full of thematically consistent references to mirrors and doubles, as if Alfred Hitchcock got a gig at Cinemax.

When we first meet our protagonist Nomi, we immediately see that she aspires to become the lead dancer, Cristal, played by Gina Gershon. Nomi’s quest to become a different person is played out in the movie’s mirroring theme. When she first sees Cristal dance, she imitates her movements from the audience.

United Artists

United Artists

The movie is also full of literal mirrors. Whole conversations occur during which people are looking at each other’s reflections:

United Artists

United Artists

United ArtistsLooking at themselves in the mirror was a little more challenging, though.

The movie is also a mirror of itself, opening with Nomi hitchhiking into Vegas and ending with her leaving. She even gets picked up by the same guy:

United Artists

United Artists

United Artists

United ArtistsHe left town because he didn’t find the lost buttons to his shirt.

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5 Painfully Stupid Movie Reboot Ideas The World Nearly Got

The character’s names also feed into this theme. “Cristal” refers to crystal, which obviously is a reflective surface, and “Nomi” should clue us into the existential dilemma of our hero, because her name sounds like “no me.” Yeah, and we’re only getting started. The movie also gets surprisingly meta. We all went into this thinking it was contrived to arouse straight men in the age of 56kb/s internet modems, but what happens in the third act? There’s not only a horrifying rape scene, but Nomi is also forced to go full Charles Bronson, avenging her friend and roundhouse-kicking the shit out of the rapist.

United Artists

United Artists“This is for flaking on the Bayside Math Olympics! Wait, what movie am I in?”

Nomi is rejecting the toxic masculinity that we all thought was part and parcel of, well, Showgirls. She finds herself by breaking the confines of a two-dimensional character, and in the end, essentially decides to leave her own damn movie. Metaphorically, that’s represented by her leaving Las Vegas, but to make it even clearer, the final shot is of her on a billboard that looks suspiciously like a movie advertisement:

United ArtistsThat’s right, Showgirls is the story of a Showgirls character realizing she doesn’t want to be in Showgirls.

2

The Happening Is About The Societal Pressures Around Starting A Family

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening told the terrifying story of an epidemic of suicides, made all the more terrifying by the fact that the person in charge of untangling this killer problem is the founder of Wahlburgers. It’s a stupid-as-hell thriller that almost killed the director’s career. But what if it was supposed to be dumb? And what if, even in its dumbness, The Happening was all an elaborate allegory for the pressure to form a conventional family unit? Like American Beauty, but with more people being run over by lawnmowers.

Mark Wahlberg plays a high school science teacher, the kind whose lectures sound like a confused frat boy trying to quote Bill Nye. More to the point, he plays the part with the kind of annoying “Oh jeez” optimism you’d expect from a 1950s matinee idol … which seems intentional. Why else dress the star of Boogie Nights in one of Urkel’s sweater vests?

20th Century FoxYou can tell which students have seen his rap videos because they can’t make eye contact.

As the B-movie plot progresses, so does the camp value. In one hilarious moment, a woman busts out an iPhone to show Wahlberg footage of a lion tamer feeding himself to the lion as if it’s a YouTube cat video. Which it technically sort of is.

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

20th Century FoxThen they watch a dubstep remix of the same thing.

To truly appreciate The Happening, we need to pull apart its two metaphorical layers. The first is the more obvious environmental one. It turns out that the trees and plants are responding to humanity’s decimation of the Earth by releasing a toxin that kills us off, specifically in areas with nuclear facilities. This in itself is a throwback to the B-movies of the ’50s and ’60s, which took fears of atomic power and turned them into genre terrors.

20th Century FoxToday, instead of nuclear plants, the all-killing menace would be “Millennials.”

And it doesn’t get any more ridiculous than the fact that the movie’s villain is a slight breeze — less the stuff of Hollywood wide releases, and more like if a group of teenagers tried to make a horror movie using stock footage from a nature documentary.

20th Century Fox

20th Century FoxAnd not that good Planet Earth shit.

Then there’s a secondary theme: that of the pressures of marriage and family. We learn that Wahlberg and his wife, played by Zooey Deschanel, have been fighting over whether or not to have a baby. When the “happening” happens, they’re forced to go through the paces of the life of a “traditional” married couple. What’s their first move? Get out of the city and head to the suburbs. And then they have a kid! They take care their friend’s daughter after he dies.

20th Century Fox“And by ‘us,’ I mean specifically the white people.”

Then they go house-hunting, a theme underscored by the fact that the first place where they seek shelter is a model home for sale.

20th Century FoxThey tragically bypass the DeLorean stashed behind the sign.

They end up having to go live with a crazy old lady — which seems out of nowhere in the plot of the movie, but in terms of this metaphor, she is a surrogate senile parent they have to tend to later in life.

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox“We’ll just send you away so we don’t have to watch you slowly die!”

And how do they eventually win? They stop giving a shit about the toxic air, and instead of separating (the working theory on how to avoid the toxin), the couple come together and the deaths magically stop. It’s as if the ’50s-era horror story was pushing these two into embracing ’50s-era values. In the final scene, we see that they’ve decided to embrace their marriage, have a baby, and presumably spend their remaining Saturdays bickering with each other at Costco. Otherwise the world’s plants will murder them.

1

Batman v. Superman Is All About King Arthur

Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice is a crazy mess of a movie, from its depiction of the Dark Knight branding criminals like a cattle rancher to a Superman who broods like a 13-year-old whose parents won’t let him go see My Chemical Romance. But you can kind of appreciate it more when you understand where Zack Snyder is coming from. Specifically, Camelot.

Apparently, one of Snyder’s favorite movies of all time is the 1980s King Arthur flick Excalibur — aka that movie in which Helen Mirren is a dry-ice-filled sorceress. In fact, Batman v. Superman signals that the epic sword-and-sorcery movie is going to be an influence right off the bat (pun not intended) by showing Excalibur in the very first scene, on the marquee at AMC’s less-popular Crime Alley location.

Warner Bros. Pictures“Half-price on matinee shows! DISCLAIMER: You’ll definitely get murdered.”

Knowing that Excalibur, a film full of villainous plotting and insane dream sequences, is the touchstone here really helps you acclimatize to the movie’s tone. Not only does the movie’s broad, melodramatic story and multitude of prophetic dreams start to make a little more sense, but the references get even more explicit. In the end, Batman becomes a literal knight in armor:

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesWay to drop the ball by not including Bat-Horse, Snyder.

And Batman pulling a glowy green sword out of some stone also comes straight out of Excalibur.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesTheory: Everyone who couldn’t pull it out is a distant Kryptonian descendant.

Lois Lane has to later retrieve the Kryptonite spear, because she’s a stand-in for the Lady in the Lake. (And hey, they even have the same initials, more or less.)

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesThis also probably explains why the movie feels the need to show us Lois in a bathtub at one point.

As discussed on Entertainment Weekly‘s podcast, Excalibur (the sword) is ultimately used to slay the true enemy, with the hero impaling themselves to get to the bad guy, which is almost exactly what happens at the end of Batman v. Superman:

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. PicturesIf Arthur had been tussling with a hulking CGI Ninja Turtle on meth, the comparison would have been perfect.

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