#like to build a house you've got to cut down a whole lot trees in order to get the materials for it

[worldrenownedsturgeon]

The douchebag scoffed, but at this point I was tired of just letting this twerp yammer on. "Oh please, how is a creation affinity going to do me any har-"

Before they could finish their statement, I took a deep breath, and pulled as much buzzing, jittering energy into my palm as possible. Pointing it all at my victim target, I screamed, "I CAST BRAIN TUMOR!"

My declaration turned spell hit its mark, I could feel it, but the fun thing about these kinds of curses was that it was hard to check for them on the spot, and especially without the proper tools. As everyone stared at me, wondering if I actually just did that, I took a moment to admire my opponents expression. Their eyes bugged out of their head like some weird frog, and their face had turned sheet white.

I decided not to think too hard about the morals of what I just did, after all, they were kind of threatening everyone in the entire school.

At the entrance ceremony, a special magic orb displays one’s magical affinity. For the first student, it says ‘Fire’. For the second student it says ‘Wood’. When you touch it, the word ���Creation’ appears, but no one has ever heard of that before.

[thessalian]

Thess vs TLOVM S3, Ep 3

Tried some Silent Hill 2, but a bad pain day has overtaken me and I am not up for getting ambushed by Lying Figures two at a time, once in an enclosed space. (Fucking record store.) Not that I didn't survive; it as just not fun when I've been having pain spasms in my left elbow most of the evening.

So instead, I'm going to liveblog TLOVM. I understand from the few spoilers I couldn't really avoid that I'm going to see a variation on one of my favourite scenes. So let's see.

Oooooh Raishan ... I mean, you're not as trustworthy as you want anyone you've been dealing with to believe, but ... say smarter things, Deceiver...

Okay, honey, your only hope is that Vorugal withholds that message he was told to give because he's greedy enough to want your empire. And hope that you can get Keyleth to believe that you're at least not immediately selling them out to Thordak. Otherwise, certain bits of your fate are going to happen a lot sooner.

Grog ... that is an A-B conversation, so C yourself out. Also ... I know people are going to think this is happening too fast, even those who saw the campaign as it happened, but ... what the fuck else are they supposed to do when they didn't have, "The arrows were flirting?" "The arrows were totally flirting"?!?

I guess Scanlan is very much invested in that whole thing he was talking to Kaylie about. If he forgets who he is when the lute goes down, he's going to hold it for as long as possible.

Someone taught Grog the phrase "spill the tea", and he only used about half of it. Typical.

"...perhaps I'll cut down the Sun Tree and build an extravagant canoe." Cassandra, you have recovered from your ordeal so very well.

YOU TELL HIM, CASSANDRA!

Yeah, Percy, "eugh" is right; that's terrible. Just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind that isn't self-recrimination and you will be fine-- Yeah! THAT'S the spirit!

Admittedly? I miss the multiple bottles. Maybe the animators in charge of this weren't up for Taliesin's earlier demand: "I will be expecting labels for all of those".

This is why we all need to be glad that Vex is ... Vex. If she was too much like her brother? This would be the result. Vax, borrow your sister's chutzpah for one night.

Wait. Wut.

"...Right. Shutting up now." So ... we decided on 'after', then. And that thing you said just before you knocked, Percival? Her. Not 'it'. HER.

Ah, so someone on screen has finally figured out the bit about "it doesn't necessarily mean everyone but her gets brutally murdered". Still, take your joys where you can, you idiot.

"So ... joy today isn't worth pain tomorrow--" THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID. THANK YOU, KEYLETH.

Well ... at least one of the Vessar twins is happy. And ... you know ... not a self-sacrificial dipshit.

Well. They had a good time.

"Good talk." BWAHAHAHA!

Well ... this is probably better than being high on magical drugs at important moments? Maybe?

brb - laughing at the dipshits.

I still have to wonder how they got this allowed. I thought Orion Acaba owned the rights to the name Draconia. Then again, he's done shit-all with it since 2019, so ... I dunno, maybe a deal was cut, or something? No one's even made mention of it.

Scanlan ... you bundle up that far and you still leave half your chest exposed?

Dohla... Dohla ... Rachel House. Hrm. Nothing I've seen, but most people would be all about Thor: Ragnarok, Moana, and Our Flag Means Death. Right. Moving on!

Okay, if we have the good ship Perc'halia being dragged in and out of dry dock for the sake of angst when we've already got Vaxleth beached and Scanlan ... you know, having a significant identity crisis that he's not getting help for (partly because he won't let anyone, but that's another thing)? I'm going to slap someone.

Well. Welcome to Hell. Nice place. In a "Night On Bald Mountain With Better Lighting" sort of way.

I ... was going to suggest that they spell it for Grog, but then I remember that they never did the thing where Pike taught him to read, so that'd be basically pointless. I ... don't think there's any way to correct him on that one.

Is it wrong that I'm not trusting Dohla?

Vex, what are you--? Ooooooooh shit. Well, that explains Yenk things.

So ... they're keeping the destruction of Draconia? Because however this come's out, Vorugal's going to tear shit up.

Also ... not trusting Dohla ... for a reason, apparently. This is a really interesting take on how things went in the campaign.

Seeing Allura and Kima fight is impressive.

I'm impressed no one did anything with the "We're edging" line. Then again, Scanlan's currently in Hell, so...

Dohla ... yeah, no, don't shit-talk ancient dragons. They will-- that. Yeah, there goes the story of you.

...I didn't know Fenthras could do that...

I know Kima is going to be okay. I know Kima is going to be okay. I know this entirely too well. It is going to be an object lesson of the "sometimes this shit works out" variety and everybody will be okay. I know this partly because campaign and partly because I need to know this down to my bones to get any sleep tonight.

At least Vex has somewhat more emotional intelligence than her brother-- mostly. Sort of. But at least Percy seems to understand what she's not-saying. And she did at least communicate worth a shit.

(Also that is probably the only way they can actually convey that will-they-won't-they dance of frustrating nonsense they had going during a lot of the campaign while dealing with a shorter-form format like half-hour episodes.)

Well ... that could have been a more painful cliffhanger... But I'm grateful it wasn't because I can't handle more adrenaline tonight.

Right. Winding down time. Hopefully I'll be in better shape tomorrow and the flu vaccine doesn't hit me too hard.

[jjk-anime-horray]

Call of Spirits

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Spirited Away Au

Masterlist

Chapter Ten:

Finally when the grasps of the hotel faded on you body you finally made it outside of the bathhouse, where your foot almost touched the glassy water underneath the final steps of the entrapping palace. The further you ran away from the heart of the hotel, the more your magic robes were replaced by the clothing you arrived in, until finally you were in a comfortable striped shirt and shorts that you've come to miss and love.

Quickly untying the laces of your sneakers, and sliding off you shoes and socks to not have the become wet. With the pink haired mouse in your pocket and they fly on your shoulder you finally make the leap of faith and step your feet into the crystal water below your body, and start to follow the wooden railings of the train tracks to arrive at your desired destination, the train station. With the precious ticked being guarded in your pocket by your mouse friend, along with another pink inked card the stored the vital information of your name so that it couldn't be stolen from you again.

The water under and around your feet is cool, not cold nor hot, the perfect temperature to wade your tired bottom ligaments. It's welcoming in a sense that it doesn't feel like a normal bay's water, as if the whole ocean ahead of you is a stagnant as a sullen stream.

It's unexpectedly quiet on your journey to the train station along the tracks. The only noise that could be heard all around were the splash of your feet, your breath, and the chirps of the mouse on your pocket. With the occasional click of your shoe places hitting each other of course. The whole scene almost looked like it was out of a movie, or could exist solely in your mind, a perfect zen palace in the. water instead of embedded in stones and sand.

Finally after enjoying the expanse all around you, and the soft pebbles under your feet you finally arrive at the cobblestone platform of the spirit train you were looking for.

While you wait for the steam engine to arrive, because as you know you cannot summon trains at your free will. You quickly sit on the slightly bumpy yet smooth ground below you, put on your socks and shoes, then quickly hot up once to as to not keep sitting on the slightly damp flooring.

It was quiet waiting for the train, just like the walk. Peaceful like a little mountain stream, and the only thing to slightly disturb it was the tiniest little slash of maybe a slither in the distance, but as the train came barging and barading onto the platform it was shaken from your mind.

Coming to a halt on the small flat island you quickly rush into the train as the doors fly open on the vehicle to take your place inside of it. You quickly scan to find a suitable open seat, which you end up sitting the closest to a silver haired spirit with violet eyes that had his mouth covered with the color of his turtle neck.

"Tickets please, Tickets." The deep voice of the train worker stated standing in front of you. He was a tall built man, wearing a conductors suit with the yellow leopard skin tie, and he had yellow blond hair, but you didn't know the color of his eyes as they were covered by goggles.

"Oh," You dig into your pocket to grab the small pieces of parchment in a hustle. "Here you go sir."

The only response you got to that sentence was the clicking of the hole punched in his hand, printing little swirl marks into the paper then swiftly trotting off to the next spirit he had yet to check, but not before he handed them back to you.

The whole car was quiet, but not for long as it was broken by a certain handsome spirit that you've come to know with dazzling blue eyes, and the noises he made by sitting himself next to you. While his presence wasn't unwelcome it was quite unexpected, which caused you to tap you feet trying to keep yourself occupied and not trying to focus on it. It was also the reason why you where spinning and rotating the golden seal in your hand as to distract yourself from your over thinking mind.

The two of you sat in silence, while it felt like the two of you, you were still sitting in a room full of other spirits including the two on your shoulder and in your pocket.

Feeling the train starting to slowly lose its speed and momentum you have the gut feeling that you would be arriving at your stop. So quickly you stand to look out the window. Your eyes see a cottage house on the middle of a small island, nothing like the bathhouse you were working at, and the only other items you could see on the island were some plants, a tree, and a clothes line. However, all of them looks exceedingly elegant in the setting sun's light.

The screeching of the brakes slowing the momentum of the train could be heard next. Quickly coming to haunt, and the scenery out the window finally laid stagnant.

When you could hear the pressure from the doors releasing as they opened you shot up from your seat with the spirits companying you to finally lay your feet on the grass in front of you under the darkness.

When your feet finally touch the ground all of the clothes lines were signaled inside into the cottage house, and all of the outside spirits working slowly vanished into little orbs that flew back into the house. The group of you (that being Gojo, the yuji mouse, and the kamo fly) walk to the front door, but not without being cautious of your surroundings.

The lot of you finally make it to the front door, which felt forever walking getting to even though it only took minutes because of your anticipation. But before you could knock on the wood the hinges suddenly flew open leaving the entrance completely open for you to use.

"Why (Y/N), and friends, come in!" Boom the voice of the black maned man you've come to be acquaintances with.

Now with your invitation in you slowly peak out behind the door to meet the onyx eyes of your host. After meeting his dark sphered irises you quickly walk in. Then shut the door behind you once everyone in your party was finally in the building.

"Have a seat everyone!" The man said unexpectedly cheery.

With that note before you could even think out sitting down, you and Gojou's bodies were already pushed onto chairs and into the table to sit with the sorcerer.

"So (Y/N), what brings you here?"

"Well you see I-

"Wait, before you start would you like some tea?"

"Uhm"

"Tea? Yes or No?"

"Oh yes please.....Is it cursed?"

"Why would I do that, it's quite boring to do that. Anyway continue."

"I came here to..." You trailed off as you suddenly felt the warmth of your favorite hot drink in your hands. Taking a sip and learning not to question it you continue: "I came here to ask you to stop and heal your curse on Megumi."

"What?" The onyx haired man said questioningly and curtly, as he heard your question, but by the look on his face was thoroughly confused about it.

"I came here to ask you if you would be willing to reverse your curse on Megumi you put, when he stole your seal. I have it right here if you want it, but he's really sick right now, and I need you to help him. I-

Your sentence was quickly cut off by the roaring laughter of Suguru Getou as he listened to your story, but now your were the. one giving him the confused look which it's now his turn to explain.

"Sorry I laughed at you, that wasn't very polite of me, however, I wasn't the one who cursed him. Your 'oh so lovely' boss did. And Megumi is already healed."

"Wait, what? He's healed! How?!"

"You did (Y/N)."

"How did I heal him?"

"It's crazy what a little love can do to someone."

[ku-ro-kai]

Lethal lust

You are taken away to be the maid of a demon although you didn't know what you were getting yourself into

What can I say, u have three holes for a reason

TW; manipulation fluff, angst,blood,monster kink,blowjob,breeding kink,anal,jealousy, non-con,f

You don't remember how you ended up being the apprentice of a fire demon, he picked you from the streets one cold night saying "you'll do good, have you done any work in your life?"

You replied back "no", you couldn't see his face but he was big, least standing at 7'1,he huffed out a sigh "you will work for me,I'm only teaching you once, you fail, you die, you complain, you die got that?" you nodded your head "good, now what's your name mortal"

"(Your Name)" he murmured something under his breath before sending you into a deep sleep.

You aware of the chatter going on around you, sounded like three of them, you couldn't tell who it was, at the end it all sounds the same.

"She's beauty dabi, you couldn't have stolen her off the streets"

"Long as she abide by my rules, she should be easy to work with"

"What's with the broad, you usually kill them"

"She is not to be eaten"

"A human really? What if she gets the wrong idea and kill you"

"No need to worry I have that under control"

After the you went back into your deep sleep

Dabi had awoken you to give you a sleeveless kimono with a flashy obi,vibrant colors leaving small diamond shapes to your waist, it was the emblem he wore on his chest.

You finally seen his face,staples pulling his face together and the skin on his arms, his kimono was open revealing staples holding him in the middle of his abdomen, was he waiting this whole time just for you to wake?

But what you gain so far, the demon named dabi lives in a large Minka,floors covered in Tatami wood and doors that slide when you open them, you've also learned he works with two other demons,keigo takami the Hawk demon, he's lures his victims in by his charming looks -he only prefers women since they have more "fat" stored.

Then there's shigaraki tomura, a decay demon, they don't have a preference when it comes to eating, he likes to watch his "food" suffer in pain from his claws piercing in their lower abdomen, what a painful way to go.

Dabi has given you many warnings about those two;specifically not to piss them off. On the other hand you doubt you could do that, they rarely come to the house , dabi doesn't ask for your help that much furthermore he's been frequently inviting women over, you can't tell the difference if it's moans or screams coming from his room but your sure those women come out with quivering legs.

Peaceful day-you guarantee nothing can ruin it,no concerning moans, no blood soiling the paper walls, no pestering demons,you let the sun dance on your face, the koi fish were swimming without a thought on their minds. You took a sip of your tea watching the trees blow with the wind. Dabi left a note with terrible written kanji,he went out to get more staples, he will be back around midnight you assumed.

"There you are, you look more pretty when your awake" you heard a low soothing voice behind you,didn't even notice the flapping of his wings?

"Oh master Hawks! master dabi didn't tell me you were coming home" you got up from your spot and bowed

"Just refer to me as keigo, never caught your name"

" L/N Y/N" you looked down at the floor, playing with the wrapping on your kimono. He was eye catching, no wonder women were risking their lives just to be in his presence,his dirty blonde locks dripping wet,his golden orbs were gleaming, wings colored a maroon red,his kimono colored in fabrics of honey gold, it was almost see through,the black strikes in the corner of his eyes,hair soaked with water droplets, he must've just came from a bath.

"What a timid little thing you are" he clicked his tongue, his eyes were staring at you like you were prey, you could show a little more skin additionally some makeup should be suggested, dabi was never hard on women, probably to avoid ruining your heart, have you come to him every night in more of him and your needs. But unfortunately dabi was put on a pause, keigo saw this as a perfect opportunity to take you apart, get under your skin, satisfy your every need, you would be great in his harem.

"Master Hawks? Are you alright"

"Yes of course -can you warm some tea up" he watched you bow again, heading into the dining area, a smirk rising at his lips

After giving Hawks his tea, the sun was coming down from it's long day of shining, you heard something crash with a few glasses shattering, "Y/N get over here quickly!" it was the voice of dabi, you ran to the first floor.

Jesus.

He was covered in soot and ashes,smelt like a dead corpse, blood soaking his forehead,Hawks laughed on the side of the door with his arm crossed

"Your not a sun demon remember that dabi!"

"Shut the hell up you chicken basterd" he turned in your direction "y/n prepare a bath for me"

__________

__________

The view was nice but it felt like a close one you'll share with your loved one, dabi was not a close one at all, he was leaning back with a small towelette on his face, well at least all of that blood he was drenched in is off.

You left a bottle of sake by him and he said you can leave for now.

You rested your back on the paper walls of the room dabi was in, your so tired from cleaning the remaining ashes on his hair, a bit of white was starting to appear but you ignored it

You felt a small shoulder tap,"yes master dabi?" turning around in shock, you found yourself facing keigo, his lips were so close to your forehead, of course he was giant too,you were never this close up to him,you could feel his soft breaths fanning against your skin. "You look really tense, has he been stressing you out lately?" he sounded so caring, his talons rubbed gentle hooks on your cheek, he looked at your hands, your palms were covered in scratches from the staples you had to pick out from dabi skin.

"You poor thing, let me heal you up" a feather lifted you up by the thick sashes of your kimono, while he took another hall and few sharp turns "is this new to the house?"

"Of course not, just closed off to you unfortunately dabi forgot to tell you about it, at some point he's gotta share his little cute apprentice with us"

Don't forget y/n he's a complete flirt but the way he's going out of his way to help you is so unlike of demons.

He stopped at door, above it was written in kanji.

Takami.

He opened the door walking over piles of gold and coins,the color of honey gold suited him, the room was covered in jewelry, beautiful silk covered pillows alongside gems and crystals.

"You like to collect a lot master keigo"

"Not exactly these are gifts from the humans I've spared or the treasure for my women" his feather dropped you on his bed, with a swift hand gesture, the feathers moved around the room picking up all the treasure and trinkets.

Keigo took your hand in his grasps, with a few pokes in your palm, the cuts disappeared.

"Good as new"

"Thank you-but I promise there was no need to use magic on me"

There was just words of mumbles to him, keigo was more interested in your chest, the curves in your waist, your birth giving hips.

"You put up with so much from dabi, the talent you show when keeping the house spotless, you deserve a break for all your hard work " he gave you a charming smile

"It just seems like you have a weak spot for me now" you were surely flattered but now keigo was coming off as flirt like you expected with the tone he used, you just pray dabi doesn't come in.

"Aw that's too bad,I'm just speaking my mind " he took your chin in his hands,his talons were so sharp, your almost surprised that he hasn't cut you"your so pretty, you shouldn't be doing treated like this at all " he pecked small kisses at your jaw,going further down on your chest "dabi treating you like a bird locked in a cage" his other hand reached over to rip the obi off your kimono"he has the right idea,I wouldn't share you either"

"Keigo this is a forbidden taboo-"

He placed a kiss on your lips, you could feel his fangs against your tongue,his feathers removed the last of piece of your clothing "what humans and demons having intimacy? You don't really think there isn't such things like half demons" he chuckled at your worried face

"What about master dabi?"

"Who gives a rat's ass about him, he's a pain in the neck and I guarantee he's probably drunk on his second black out"

You couldn't contain the laugh you let out, you covered your mouth in hopes of it not being so loud

Keigo saw the right opportunity to go in for it,he turned you on your stomach, throwing your torn apart kimono on the floor, showing your undergarments, there a feather played with your clothed pearl.

"I prefer your fertile cunt but your not ready for breeding yet.." he placed kisses on your lower back, your small whines were driving him up the wall, his talons gripped down your waist.

"breeding?" what does he mean by that?Hawks ripped your undergarments off in one swift move, licking a long stripe on your bare pussy. Keigo tongue wriggled his against your other hole while his thumb moved in soothing motions on your clit, "prep for you when you are ready for my harem" in the corner of your eye, you saw his kimono fall to the floor,catching a glimpse of his size, you understand why prep was needed,he was big, you arched your back as you felt him nudge against your ass

You let out a painful whine,convulsing down on him out of the uncomfortable intrusion, "I know baby" he cooed while gripping down your marked up waist "Anal can be difficult but you'll get used to it, you don't have choice since I'll be here just for my prize possession after all" with that you felt his groin pull away from your ass and slam back.

He's so rough with his strokes, it was challenging containing your moans, keigo was biting down on your shoulder, his groans were so passionate yet rough, the pain was fading, the pleasure was slowly building up.

Keigo begin snarling, stuffing you with two fingers, you were so close but so far, his fangs pierced your skin leaving you with blood running down your chest and back, he covered your mouth with his other hand to muffle your scream, the pleasure mixing with the pain left you in awe. Your climax hit you hard, clenching down around his length,keigo came right after you,biting more on your weakened shoulder,your visions was starting to become blurry.

Keigo finally stopped took his fangs out of your shoulders, licking some of the blood off your lethargic body, "you did well y/n,such a shame we can't go for round two" he smiled but it hid a wild aura behind it "but I won't lie, your blood tastes magnificent, your definitely the right one for me" afterwards you blacked out.

"I can't wait for you to be my wife, tummy full with my seed, stealing you from dabi has been lingering on my mind since you stepped foot in here" he wrapped your shoulder up with badges before he kissed on your bosom"these are mine" he stopped, looking at his door with a shadow hiding behind it.

"Your more of a creep than I thought" keigo covered your naked body with his feathers, "don't you think you have enough human wives?" his voice was dry,scratcy like he had a cold, he the sliding door opened to shigaraki.

"You look a little jealous, not hard to tell from your hard on" keigo pulled a feather forming a sword, pointing it at the blue haired man"how long were you watching.."

"Since you claimed her with that bite mark" he walked closer "I'm not surprised your fucking food, why not eat her" he chuckled

"I'm not a sick fuck like you" he looked at your sleeping body then looked back at shigaraki "now get the hell out... And don't jerk off to my woman".

A sharp pain awoken you, you looked over to see keigo, his lips were a soft red from your blood, it was really dark or his wings are covering you in a bundle. You couldn't let dabi find you like this though you couldn't really move your legs much, you hoped for the best and went back to sleep.

There was familiar feeling on your skin, it was light and dense, you turned to find your staring at keigo's crimson feather.

"Ah your finally up, you were such a good girl last night that I went out to the market and brought you new kimono, it has sleeves and the collar can hide my markings" the kimono he held out was a pretty marigold color although the bottom was short,”I went a little rough on you so you might not be able stand up straight “ can you even called that a little? You have his bite mark still lingering on your shoulder with multiple marks on your waist and hip,little my ass

Keigo helped you out of bed just to try your new kimono on,he even went as far to do your hair and makeup,”keigo this is too much,how am I supposed to repay you for this,I love it but I can’t afford this,I’m just an apprentice “

“Who said anything about repaying “ he wrapped his arms around your waist taking in your scent “your more than some apprentice,remember your my prize possession, mine and only mines” you were catching butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey I’m a pretty good hairstylist” admiring your beauty in the mirror,”you wish!” He started getting red “I tried okay!” Putting on a whimsical smile, “don’t go near shigaraki “ expression changing with the voice he was putting off,his eyes were almost hawk-like, his smile disappeared,he was holding you tighter like he was gonna lose you”what’s so bad about him?”

He raised an eyebrow “he only see’s you as food “ he lets go of you to look at his wing,pulling out a dainty feather and latching it around some gold string”touch it if your in need of my help” with a few clicks here and there it was on your neck.

_________

_________

Keigo was in a hurry to go, seemed like he had to go to his harem.

It was pouring down bad, you lit some candles up to avoid walking in the dark doing laundry,completely forgetting that the demons you lived with have special eyesight to let them see in the dark,it freaked you out when dabi's blue eyes was glaring at you in the dark"Move over-I have a headache" dabi laid out on your lap, groaning in irritation. "You really need to stop drinking every night" you took some clothes in your hand to fold.

"Don't start nagging about my drinking ,anyways what's with the makeup?"

You didn't wanna tell him keigo did it,along with him fucking you last night so just tell a lie!

"It was just sitting in my room, didn't wanna let go to waste"

He hummed in response

".. How long do you think it's gonna rain?"

"Don't know- don't care.. Mmh wake me up for dinner" he pat your thigh to let you know he's dozing off

You finished folding clothes so you went to grab a blanket to throw over dabi, you knew he wouldn't need it but just for safe keeping. Walking around in search of the kitchen was frustrating, you open a door that looked sealed away, you could hear faint breathing somewhere, you couldn't tell where it was coming from because the room was pitch black

"Wrong room dummy" shigaraki peeked out from the dark "um sorry- it's just so dark I didn't know"

Every step he had taken made you take another step back, his skin was ashen color, blue hair swaying each time, standing at the same height as dabi,you could see a few scars on his lips, his damp loose pants showing his v-line,beads of sweat rolling down his abs, this was the Shigaraki.

"I'll just leave now."

"You interrupted my training, your in no position to leave" he yanked you by the obi, watching it turn to dust in a instant, you reached to cover your body "I suggest you stop that or your little pretty face is next"

He slammed you into the wall knocking the air out of your lungs," I hate when people play with their food" he moved his hair out of the way, his eyes staring at you through your soul "that fucking bird loves taking humans and turning them into brides, I hate it so much it sickens me to my stomach" grabbing a handful of your hair, "then you play stupid with dabi pretending your the perfect apprentice, giving him attention like the little whore you are" he pulled you up against the wall "your supposed to be mines"

Putting up a fight wasn't even worth it,his claws are deadly and dangerous, if you even make the slightest wrong move your done for, you wished keigo was here. You felt a harsh thrash against your ass "look at me",now your legs were on his broad shoulders,you looked at him and his face just splayed confusion in it

“You never done this before have you..”

“ I have!” There was taint pink flushing his face, he was definitely a virgin

“You haven’t and that’s okay“ you opened your legs a bit more to get him in the right position "after all the eavesdropping you did, I would've thought you learned a thing or two"

"Shut up” he moved closer to your mound,out of anticipation his serpent like tongue swiveled around your folds,watching your slick swell on his tongue,finally he thrusted into you without warning,your mewls and whines had been muffled by shigaraki animalistic groans. His tongue was hitting spots that you didn't even know existed,your climax was rising closer.

His tongue came back to his mouth dwelling on your juices “why.. you stop” your pants started

“I just needed a taste..” that’s it?! He did all that just to get a taste!?

You picked up your shredded up clothes,limping back to your room praying keigo hasn’t made it back aswell as dabi still being asleep, luckily shigaraki didn't kill you but he did look like he was upset about something

_________

“Keigo keep it down they’ll hear us”you nuzzled in his lap while picking at his feathers,keigo was too excited about the gifts he brought for you although he’s been out too long and wanted a bath so he suggested you accompany him,”there’s gonna be blood moon tomorrow,I got you the perfect outfit just for it!” he started placing kisses on your back "sorry if I've been gone all day, the girls were feeling down today". You've wondered how many wives keigo has and why he wanted so many, though it wasn't your concern, you didn't wanna upset him if he brought up great news also you didn't confront him about shigaraki.

"Where did these bruises come from?"

Oh he's talking about the one from you being slammed into a wall.

"I fell doing laundry, it's just a small one no need to worry"

"You won't be doing laundry until then, don't even think about cooking, your getting rest for now"

The day was ending, keigo fixed dinner instead of you since you needed rest, it was rare a occurrence when demons ate human food,he brought you food, put you in beautiful silken nightgown. Shigaraki ignored you ever since he pushed you out of his room, dabi was clueless as always.

You went to go get a drink to shut down for the night, gaining more details about them, keigo went to bed early since he thrived in the sun more than the moon, as for shigaraki? This was his time to go find lost humans he could feast upon and for dabi this was usually his moment to get drunk. Too boot seeing him in sober manner and frustrated mood was not what you were expecting.

"The hell are you still doing up"

You looked away from the bulge showing from his kimono, he was sexually frustrated and you weren't doing anything but making it worse on him"I just wanted a drink before bed"

"I'll give you a drink" he grab harshly on your risk, taking you to his room, you fumbled all through the hall.

"Don't you speak this to anyone, especially when you've been whoring around their backs, now we wouldn't want that right y/n?"

"Yes"

"Yes what?" his voice had anger in it

"Yes master dabi" just because he was a demon doesn't mean your gonna let him treat you like this so you add the same tone in your voice

He scuffed rolling his eyes, why did you have to come in on his bad side, he layed down on his bed”on your knees” you got down on the floor waiting,he pulled closer to his groin,he was rutting against your face,was he really that packed up?

Soon as you took his cock out,there was a low growl coming from him,he was painfully hard and already leaking precum ,you gripped the base ,starting with the tip first,working your way down was the easy part but dabi didn’t approve so he pushed you down further until you reached his cervix.this rough assault on your throat had you choking , in shock there was a warm liquid inside your mouth.

His tail wrapped around your waist pulling you to him,he sat up sweating with his smug smirk “open” you opened your mouth as he ordered, his seed pooling on your tongue “perfect”

Thank you for reading❤️ follow me for more!

[lumassen]

What if aph England was a Scouser?

This came from a conversation on a discord server about what accent people headcanon England to have as we have so many, and as a northerner I like to think he would rock a northern accent. Based off several headcanons that England and Norway are good friends, and that nations move around a lot to avoid being clocked by their citezens for the fact that they don't age, I bring you this random drabble:

-----

It was getting dark by the time Norway finally arrived in the port of Liverpool and stepped off the ship. It had been 5 years at least since he'd seen Arthur, and perhaps 15 or more since he'd last visited England, and since finding out that Arthur was now living in Liverpool he took the opportunity to visit him when he was there on a trip.

Stepping down from the gangway, Norway tightned his scarf a little tighter around himself, the biting cold winter air slipping through any opening in his coat that it could find. Pulling back his glove to check his wristwatch, he noticed they'd got in a little late even though they hadn't really been delayed when they set off from Bergen.

Turning back to the ship for a moment, Norway watched with a small smile as his crew who'd kindly let him come along with them began to unload the large Norwegian Spruce. Since 1942 he'd given a Christmas tree as a gift to the people of England as a token of gratitude for the support they had given him during the second world war, something he would never forget. It started off as a single, 60 or so year old Spruce that was cut down specially and gifted to be put up in Trafalgar Square every year, but in recent years Norway had started gifting a couple more to other cities around the UK, and this year he had one for Durham, Oxford and Liverpool cathedral.

When he was satisfied that his crew didn't need any help, Norway waved a quick goodbye to them before setting off across the docks. He walked slowly at first, admiring the Christmas lights that decorated lamp posts and trees until he spotted England sat on a bench at the end of the docks. Quickening his pace so to not keep him waiting much longer, Norway's smile broadened just a little more. He and England were old friends despite their past differences and conflicts, and Norway had been looking forward to this visit since he found out that England living here.

"Long time no see." He said as he stopped in front of England, who looked up away from his smartphone and put it in his pocket.

"Likewise," he said with a smile, standing up and grasping Norway's hand in a firm, friendly handshake before pulling him in for a hug.

"So, Liverpool eh? I thought you'd be more of a country house in the cotswolds kinda old man by now, so I'm a bit surprised to find you here." Norway teased as they started strolling away from the docks and toward the city centre.

It was the end of November, so despite it being nearly dark it was still only 4pm in the afternoon and the streets were still full of people. For the past few years Norway had been living in the depths of the countryside up in Narvik with more sheep around him than people, so it felt strange yet nice to be surounded by so many people again.

England laughed a little, "Yeah, I fancied living somewhere a little livelier. I was getting a bit fed up in a big drauhty house down south, I found that I always had a proper cob on so I knew I needed to move to somewhere with a bit of atmosphere. I know we shouldn't have favourite citzens, but I've always had a soft spot for the people of Liverpool." he said, and Norway was shocked at how much his accent had changed since the last time he'd seen him.

It happened to most nations who lived among citezens to end up speaking with their accent or dialect, so he wasn't necessarily shocked, just a little taken aback.

Whether it was the fact that his own English skills were a little rusty from living in a rural place where not many of his citezens around him spoke anything but Norwegian or the fact that England's accent had thickened he wasn't sure, but Norway was struggling to keep up with him.

"What abar you? Where you living?"

"Er, Narvik. Been there about 7 years. It's nice." Norway said, with not much else to add. Narvik was Narvik. He went fishing occasionally, but other than that he was either buried in paperwork or eating or sleeping these days.

"Fancy a bevvy while we have a natter? There's a bar close by that's proper sound, you'll love it, and no I won't get bladdered before you say anything." England said as they turned the corner, and Norway quite honestly didn't understand a word that he just said.

"A bevvy?" he repeated, and Arthur turned to look at him and raised a large eyebrow,

"Yeah, a drink. Do you not fancy it?"

Norway blinked a couple of times, trying to get his head around England's changed accent. Sure, he knew that dialects and accents were a common thing, and back in his country he had many unique ones himself, but the way that England was rolling his 'r's and talking from the back of his throat on some words was tough enough to understand without the added slang.

"Sorry, yes I'm happy to have a drink with you." Norway said, a smirk crossing his lips at the fact that England was so oblivious to his change in accent.

They talked about this and that while they walked to the bar, England asked after Denmark and Iceland and they discussed the upcoming football championship until they arrived to a wobbly looking old stone pub nestled among the more modern buildings of the city. One of the things that Norway loved about visiting England was hidden gems such as this, and in summer he loved touring old castles and historical sights with Arthur.

Norway stepped inside as England held the door open for him, relieved to be inside and out of the wind. The smell of beer hit him immediately and he could feel the carpet sticking to the bottom of his shoes.

He spotted an empty table and took a seat, England following him and sitting down opposite, taking his gloves off and stuffing them into the pocket of his leather jacket.

"God it's baltic out there, but I'm proper made up that you've come to visit though. Actually this probably isn't that bad for you is it, now you're living in Narvik." England laughed, rubbing his cold hands together before he stood up again, "Let me get you a bev, back in a tick." he said before pushing his way to the bar.

Norway watched England as he leant on the bar, laughing with the bartender and chatting away and sighed, still not fully understanding what the hell he'd just said. He was pleased though that England was happy and settled in Liverpool. He'd had it rough the past couple of years with the whole Brexit thing which had obviously made him move as a distraction if anything else and Norway was glad to be catching up with an old friend, but had he realised that he would struggle to understand England as much as he was then he might not have suggested staying for a whole week...

------

lol. For those people not from the UK and aren't familiar with a Scouse accent I tried to find a video. The best one I could find is still a bit crappy, but the girl at 0:12 is a prime example of how fast Scousers speak that not even I or the subtitles could keep up with her at first.

Click for the video

this fic is the closest I've ever got to writing a crack fic and this is purely self indulgent im sorry lol

[gencat21]

Try Again • Jung Jaehyun

I wrote this listening to Try again so if you want to read it and listen to it as well, do that.

Summary: Forgetting a special part of your life wasn't hurtful until you notice that everything around you was about him.

You couldn't remember how everything went down, nor what you were doing at the moment, and the worst, you couldn't remember a lot about your life. The doctor said you were going to be alright after the accident you were told you were in. He said that your wounds weren't severe aside from the memory loss. He also said it was only temporary, but after three months you still wondered where they were. You were never getting back the memories you lost, and it wasn't frustrating for you since you just focused on getting better.

You lived alone in a studio in the middle of the city, but after the accident, your parents took you in for recovery. "Can I go back to my apartment?” you asked your parents, even though you were already an adult. " I'm not getting my memories back but physically I'm fine. Besides, it's better if I return to do my job."

"But please call me to let us know that you are okay." Your mom looks at up and down with a worried look but gives in at the thought that you were anxious being trapped inside the house for three months.

"I will," you reassure her, the next thing you know you are in front of the building where you live. You were told you live on the last floor and that the view from your studio is to die for, and your parents weren't wrong. The first thing that is noticeable is the big window that covered almost the whole wall. There was no door that divided your room, there was a half wall that separated your room from the living room and you couldn't be mad about that. It is a beautiful and simple apartment. You leave your bag on the couch and walked around watching at every piece of furniture you owned, and thinking how a person can forget about something like that. The place is unknown for you and it is yours. You decorated this apartment the way you wanted, you could see that it is your taste. A sky blue and white decoration was just your taste. You walked through the kitchen, found where the bathroom was, appreciated every painting that apparently you did as all well until you find your way to the bedroom. There it also a big window that captivates you first until something else does it. Your eyes travel from the window to the wall behind your bed.

You don't know what to do when your eyes meet his through the distance of time. There were the same pair of eyes everywhere, photographs of the same guy doing different this such as staring at the camera through the mirror, or him just reading a book with the most beautiful smile you've seen in your entire life. For you it looks like a project you could have been working on, but at the same time, you wondered who the guy on your wall was and if that's what it really was. You get on top of your bed and walk closer to where all the photos are and analize what he was doing in every single photo.

How his smile could easily light of a whole room.

How he look so peaceful while he laid on his side on the bed and smiled.

How his eyes would glisten.

And realization stuck you when you feel tears rolling softly down your cheeks without you noticing a moment earlier. Who is this boy? How could you forget him?

During three moments you never thought that there was something special that you had forgotten, and the fact that your mother never mentioned you, anyone, that you might have loved. Never mentioned a name, it never slipped. And that fact makes that you discard that thought. It has to be a project, but why your tears are still falling? Why you feel your heart shrinking by the minute? You let yourself fall on your knees on top of your bed while you closed your eyes and cried.

The urge of crying was so strong that you had to let it go and cry without knowing why. Why you forgot everything about him?

Why there wasn't a name or a number that you could call? Would your mom tell you something about him?

For an hour you set there, your arms around your kneed while you stare at the photos emotionless. Would there be a way that he suddenly knocks on your door? "Of course not," your voice echoes in your room, reminding you how lonely you are, and how peaceful it was. You take a deep breath and take your phone that was beside you and decide to call your mom. After an hour of infinite thinking. "Who is he?" You ask as soon as she picks up the phone. "And why I can't remember him?"

"Honey,"

"Why is there a boy fulfilling a whole wall in my room and you never told me about him the last three months?"

"He's your ex-boyfriend, love."

"But, why can't I remember him?"

"You suffered a lot when you broke up. There's a chance that the most painful moment was erased, and it's better if you keep it that way, " the most painful moment of your life? You stare at photos again and just hang up. Was he important in your life? Or did he really hurt you badly?

Days pass by where you just wake up, drink coffee on the table beside the big window and appreciate the view in silence. Where you also tried to learn more about how your job was and get on track again. You realize that you got out of your parent's house so you trap yourself in your own studio. But you couldn't do that just yet.

You were learning more about your job by going through the files on your laptop of landscape photos you've taken, or different photoshoots of different people. But there's a field that captivates your attention fully, its name was different from the others.

It was actually the name of someone, could it be him? "Jaehyun..." You say while you click it and lets all the photos load. There are videos of him just doing really nothing. Stare at the camera, laughing with a laugh that rings on your ears as if it was a beautiful song, walking on a park, and more. "Where we went wrong?" You ask yourself, observing how happy he was while being with you. You softly close your laptop and look outside for a few minutes until you decide that it is time to go out, and took your camera with you.

You walk through the city without knowing where to go, but you want to walk around and feel the fresh air, nothing more. Your airpods on your ears listening to soft music while you peacefully walked. Minutes later you find yourself in a big park, people were laying on the floor on top of blankets, kids were running around, and everybody seems happy. It is the type of view that everybody wants to see, to know that even if you're sad, people are happy and enjoying life. You lift your camera up and take a few photos where everybody was clear, and where the trees we visible and the smiles were able to appreciate. You take the photo and afterward you start to see all the photos until you see the last one. A certain person standing in the middle to a far distance, just standing there looking somewhere else.

And to say that you didn't recognize him after staring for hours to your wall would be a big lie. He was standing a looking around just like you were doing before. Admiring the view as well.

You can't dissimulate that you were gazing at his features, not even when his eyes meet yours. Although he was far away, you knew he recognized you. His eyes run through every inch of your body, but not in a morbid way, he checked if you were fine because ever since the accident your mother never gave him the chance to see you, nor told him what had happened to you, nor how you were. Knowing how broken you were, she wanted to keep you from being that hurt again. And while you were recovering, she thought keeping him away even if he tried to see, was the best option.

His look changed to a worried one, a look you never saw on the photos. Of him, you just knew his name, and that he broke your heart. But you saw how relieved he was and that was heart-ripping. His feet start to move to you at a speed where he was almost running if he sped up a little bit more, and when he gets to you, without saying a word he pulls you into a hug. "God, you're perfectly fine."

He is a stranger to you, it was normal to push him away. But you didn't. His arms wrapped you around by the shoulders, and you feel like crying where you face hits his shoulders. The same way you started to cry for no reason when you saw all the photos. And the urge to hug him is big as well, so you do. "I didn't know if you were okay, your mom wouldn't let me see you and I had to go on tour. Apparently, you changed your phone number too." He said breaking the hug apart to stare at your face with love. You've never seen someone look at you that way, or felt someone stuck your cheeks sweetly letting you know that they were there, and that you were loved.

And that same feeling let your tears fall. It hurt to see him remembering everything that you've been through while you couldn't remember anything. He remembers your first date, your first kiss, your first fight, he remembers all you don't. You don't know what made you fall in love with him, or what he loved the most about you.

Your heart aches by the thought.

"Jaehyun,"

"Listen, I think we both made a mistake. We fought, we said things that weren't good but we love each other, right? We can work this out."

"Jaeh—"

"I thought I lost you when I heard you crashed, I couldn't help but think the worst and regretted agreeing with you when you said it was the best to break up."

"Jae—" you try to say but he cuts you while he holds your face with both of his hands.

"I need you. We will be alright. I want to try again." Hearing those words broke your heart again.

"I don't remember you," you let your words out and at the same time, your tears start to fall. You want to remember but all the memories were gone, and there was a chance that you would never get them back.

Oh, seeing how much he love you, and how drawn to him you were was painful.

You were meant for each other. Could you really try again?

[system-of-a-feather]

I have another question. I'm sorry to bother, but I don't know where else to ask. Did you ever feel like the trauma you've experienced isn't 'bad' enough to waarant DID? I know that what I went through was very traumatising to me, but others have had it easily so much worse. I feel bad for being so easily traumatised and distressed.

Oh ho ho, all the time my friend. ALL the time. To be honest, I might go as far to say I don’t think I’ve talked to anyone with DID who hasn’t felt that way around their trauma - no matter how severe and factually horrible the experience was.

Personally, back in the day I’d often go “Well I still had food and was cared for enough to be able to excel in school so it couldn’t have been that bad if I could still do good in school” or I’d parrot what a lot of toxic parents use an proof of them being “good parents” which is arguing that you had a roof over your head and food on the table or something like that which both kinda prompted me to make that reminder way back that still is getting reblogs and likes that “Just because you function doesn’t mean your don’t deserve help” or something similar like that.

You aren’t alone in feeling like it wasn’t that bad / bad enough. It is a common technique the brain does to try to avoid the reality of having DID or lessen how real the trauma feels. It is a really really really common thing to experience and almost everyone with DID that I’ve talked to on here or in real life (I’ve meet one person irl) either currently experience it frequently or used to experience it frequently.

And here is the thing, you never should feel like you need to feel guilty or bad because you are hurting. If you are hurting, there is no reason to deny yourself the ability to feel hurt by comparing it to others. It isn’t a sin to feel bad, or to feel hurt, or to be traumatized. It isn’t a sin to be in pain. If anything, it is a tragedy, its unfortunate that you feel this way. This would apply to trauma that might be “small and silly” like getting your kite stuck in a tree (which yes, in some cases for some people depending on the individuals ability to process emotions, what that kite meant to them, and the situation they were in when it happened might actually be a traumatic memory with the full context) or something huge which I won’t state because things like those don’t need to be elaborated. 

If anything, I would sit you down and say I’m sorry you feel hurt, and I’m sorry that whatever happened to you made you feel so bad, and I am sorry you are having trouble rebounding / recovering from the event. I don’t care if it was the kite in the tree or something more, I’m sorry that you are struggling and never should you feel bad for struggling. It’s a human nature thing to struggle in life, and its a valid and fair response, especially to events that have not been properly and mentally processed.

You never have to explain your trauma to someone. No one should be allowed to invalidate your trauma as trauma is not something up for debate. Trauma is a response, an unprocessed memory and a state of being wounded from an event. If you got a large cut on your leg from an event, people can’t argue if the cut was there or not. 

Trauma can happen from really anything when you consider an individuals state of being, predisposition, emotional state, attachment, and environment at the time.

Similarly, comparing trauma is a pointless game to play. Emotions are subjective and how one experiences an event is so heavily based on predispositions and ability to handle and process emotions, one’s past experiences, the connections and attachments they had going into it, and everything bottling up. Yeah on paper sure one might SOUND worse than another, but how they actually affected an individual in practice - in reality - is not something that can be judged “off of paper”.

[tw: loss of a loved one]

Rewinding to the previous example, getting your kite stuck in a tree might sound like a “stupid and silly trauma”, but say you were already in an unstable state. Perhaps you moved, lost all your friends, and your family situation was tense. The kite might have held a big importance and was something that was very important. Say your passed grandma, or your best friend you had to leave from and you used the kite as an excuse to get out of the house to relieve tension. Your kite gets stuck in the tree - gets broken and damaged and no one is there to help you out as a kid to retrieve it. 

[tw end: loss of a loved one]

You are stuck there, the thing you hold dearest broken and forever out of reach. As a kid you realize there is no one around to help you with that kite, you are alone and isolated as a kid, distressed with no support or help. Considering the environment, this whole situation, having lost all your friends, you family not being able to care for you, give you attention, or help / protect you, and being alone outside in a world as a child - it could be pretty traumatizing as the whole situation crashes upon you.

Yes, getting your kite stuck in a tree might be stupid and silly trauma, it might seem “dramatic” to be triggered by kites carrying forward, but with the context, that moment represents a build up of a lot of stressful situations on a child that when you are that young, can be extremely distressing and hard to process. 

The experience of a child at that moment compared to someone who might have it worse does not matter in the moment as much as it does taht the child feels alone, vulnerable, abandoned, scared, and frustrated to points that the child can no longer process the emotion.

Sure worse things than “getting your kite stuck in a tree” could have happened. But really, in almost every situation “worse things” could have happened. For everything experienced, there is somethign worse that someone can come up with that could have happened. Comparing experiences is an endless cycle that leads no where. What we really need to talk about is the subjective experience that an individual has and what they walked away with from it and how much support they had.

For some less experience / rambly things, if you really want to look into the subjectivity of trauma and events and how trauma affects an individual, there is a lot of material on it like the popular ACE score which outside of the ace score discusses how environmental stress can cause long term affects and how it can be mitigated by resilience and so on.

Like here is a brief cover of resilience from the American Psychological Association [x]

How children and individuals handle stressful events and grow after it is (which does relate into how children and individuals fail to handle these events and thus form trauma) a bit of a large topic in the field of Developmental Psychology and Humanistic Psychology, so I can’t really go into a whole lecture about it, but looking into the concept of resilience and the ideas of Carl Rogers / Abraham Maslow and stuff might be something that might be of interest. 

-Riku (Host)

[dyker-farmer]

More bro fic.... angst fodder kind content.

Take that can away if you can

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event- not 10, jesus-, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

I also put it on Ao3.

[[MORE]]

A bitch bastard man and a bitch walk into a room... Chapter 1/2/3/4

"I think we should talk about this."

If the room was stifled before, this just causes the pin to drop, and the relative lull to shatter with it. I don't want a storm, but we can't pretend the sea's a slightly oversized pond if we want him not drowning in it- again, my mind supplies, unhelpful.

He's zoning out again, blurry eyes pointedly off me, preferring the turned-off TV.

Let's start easy. "Why did you come here, Shane?"

"I-I-" It sounds like an excuse building up and it bubbles out like a shaken can, "I don't- I shouldn't have-" he goes to up and leave, and we just can't have that.

I scrape my chair closer and grab his shoulder, same as before. Hopefully it's more placating than caging. "No, you should have. You did good. Seeking out, remember?"

He doesn't answer but stills.

"Like Dr.Campbell and Harvey said." I try again.

"Yeah… Yeah." Deep breathing. "I. Don't know." He searches for my face, not quite past the nose. I nod, ushering him on. "It's. Stupid." I frown and my eyebrow goes higher than before and he immediately doubles down. "I know- positiv' reinforchment and all that shit! But… It's hard." A tired hand wipes the most of moisture off his face, before it goes back to wriggle with the other on his lap. "It's so fuckin' hard. Didn't even last two seasons!-"

I cut him off. "Two seasons is a lot! One and a half too. Last time, you'd tried to go cold turkey on the spot. We know what that got us." Sea foam in the mouth and a shared cold in the early spring, on top of a Joja lawsuit. "Shit's hard, like you said. You lasted one and a half this time. Next time-"

"Why the fuck do you always think there's gonna be a next time."

This time, I still. My laidback demeanor mirror his, but so does the cold anger creeping in and tensing both our backs.

"Because. There is going to be a next time. And another after that. And another. Same way there's been next times before this one now."

What's left unsaid we don't touch.

All irritation floods from him like it's just pointless to keep it in anymore, and his forehead goes to thunk softly against the wooden surface he leaned on before. The table muffles his next words a little.

"I can't… keep doing that." I don't peep. "I can't keep rolling back down and then up and down, and up, and down. I- I just can't, Garcia- Uidel-"

"I'll drag you there." I shrug.

"But you shouldn't have to!" His voice raises and make the boards vibrate where his skin's still pressed. "You shouldn't have to-to fuckin'-" he sniffles, the following words drowned out in held-back sobs. "Fuck damn it, you- I said I- I wouldn't be a burden anymore!"

He's crying out loud now, open sorrow and no walls left. Out of all the things you could stick on the not-so amiable man sulking straight from bed to Jojamart to Stardrop Saloon to bed, you probably wouldn't think of "extreme scare of bothering anyone". Yet it's all here in how he collapses silently in the mattress, wake without a sound, keep his head down the whole time he crosses town, tries to merge himself in the fake-nice blue of the shelves at work, then corners himself right between the chimney and the bar on Emily's side, stuck in-between two sources of warmth that can never touch him unless he swings one way or the other. And he doesn't a lot, still keeping to himself strictly. You probably wouldn't think either of how dreamy he gets, hidden in his alcove but seeing everything from there.

When Harvey nerds out about classical, jazz and electro swing music down the bar to me, trying to catch me up on my fuzzy memories of arts history and the implications of breaking codes in the tempo and the leisure of each instruments; of how each note gets a specific response from the brain if done right, and can make up for caffeine deprivation in miraculous ways, when there are no more chances to push back the dread of midterms season at doctor school.

When Elliott, boisterous and drunk, arm-on-arm with an equally inebriated Leah, calls out to the whole place to hear out his latest soliloquy, and drags on the words too much, but with a voice that carries it well, all flamboyance and no limits, as his hair floats around him in a crown and he reigns over the room like a kind lion- Description all intoxicated words from your chicken man truly, not mine. I always get too caught up in the pendulum of Leah's braid and her crooked smile to quite appreciate his theatrics. But the recital rings clear, and everyone applauds the performance- because hey, you applaud a drunk guy showing off the prowess of not tripping a single word in a ten minutes tirade, but also because it really is that good! Everyone, even Shane, whose hands zipped to under his armpits the moment our eyes crossed and I met his pink cheeks with a clairvoyant smile.

Hey, what can I say. Dude's a sapiosexual. Hence why we'll never and cannot bang. That, and, uh, the being lesbian thing.

But all this is closed off and not for anyone to see behind see-through fogged windows, like those kitchen cabinets, when you can make out the piled plates all resting against the cold surface precariously, bound to crash and shatter the moment you open them.

It took a good wrecking ball of a fake-oblivious polite faced stranger and my incessant, hot pepper poppers-powered pestering, to even just crackles the glass.

The rest was all done out of his own volition. He can't see that because alcohol is a depressant, and guzzling it down leads to blurry concepts made softer always and pretty much lush in brain, and when he's off the thing, and that's rare, he instantly goes from not there to thinking he's everywhere, soiling everything and giving nothing.

His sobbing doesn't relent, and he whimpers issues of "trustworthy sack of shit", "not being worth the fucking shrink's money", "not being worth his aunt's troubles", "not being worth Jas". At some point he goes to grapple with his hair, and tugs brusquely once, then twice, then I have to reach for his wrist to make him stop, which he snatches back as soon as I make contact. But he doesn't grab anything to pull or pinch or punch again, so that's good. I stay on standby beside him, but don't touch him. He rasps more condemnations, struggles to breathe enough through the phlegm spreading in his respiratory system, and I start reenacting the steps to stop a hyperventilation in my head, and the first aid for choking, when he begins to cough violently, his entire frame upset with the movement.

He takes the tissue box i nudge with insistence toward him, and ends up spitting mouthfuls of mucus mixed with some bile in the basin under his feet. Most of it is clear and smells of fruits, not beer, so I'm not too worried. When I go to stabilize him by taking his shoulders, he grasps at my wrists to stop me- but let them stay here, while he clings. The tremors get to me now, and I remind myself that this is good, this is before the cliffs and him finding refuge to burst open, not glassily stare at the weeping clouds as he blabbers on the meaninglessness of his life.

This is… very alive.

I ought to be glad.

I let him come down at his rhythm, counting the pulses of his wrists as I feel mine numb with the blood circulation slowed down under his hold.

When he's back with a mind, I count to three, then let go. His arms flop back down, on his lap and hands dangling between his tighs. He blows his nose again.

"I'm so pathetic…"

"Yeah sure, and I'm a serial prom queen."

Instead of jabbing back and forth, we get interrupted by a soft mewling. Both of us turn to the door, that's opened slightly to let in Eryza, the pitter-patter of her paws on the stone flooring the only sound for a moment…

As we both stare in revulsion at her jaw, a single line of vomit dripping of it.

Shane puts his head down in shame, not even having the strenght to hide further.

"Sorry."

"Nah, 's okay. She's already trash, anyway."

Eryza edges closer and rapidly tour around our legs- going back to Shane's feet twice, her whiskers tickling his exposed ankles. Purring loudly, she completely ignore my chastizing as I threaten to make her diet periwinkle-based to counter-act her literal potty mouth, and she scampers to do who-knows-what in the rooms.

"Your vibes are rancid, do you hear me?? Rancid, girl!" I call after her. "I swear to Yoba, Shane, your aunt might as well have brought me a raccoon."

Turning back to him, I can see the short-lived humor of the situation was, well, short-lived. I sigh.

It's late. We're both tired. Tomorrow is sunday. It's cool. We've got time.

I don't sit back down right away. First, I put a hand down on the nape of his neck, that slides to the top of his scalp, right where he'd tug. My quota, remember?

He sniffles some, a few teardrops make their way to the planks, unheard. We stay like this for a moment.

He doesn't shake me off, but in the slow tandem his body takes, rocking lightly from back to forth, I can tell it's enough, for now.

I sit back down on my chair.

I lean on the hand I'd put in his dark purple strands before, smelling cedar wood and pine trees. I don't assume. My farm has plenty of those to stumble through. And even if he went back to the cliff, another time again. I do that too. With my own cliffs back at not-home, but close. There's a sense, in staring down what couldn't take you.

Like visiting a scene crime that you've narrowly escaped from. And pride too. And the thrill of asking- "what if again? What if this time?"- and okay, I can see why it'd be worrying to have him go there a thrice time on his own late in the evening.

But last time was fine, the one before was made fine, and he might need a bitch for a friend right now, but not a watchdog.

His forehead is back against the table.

Three fingers massage my temple. I don't know how much he'll even remember tomorrow, but it's worth the try, always.

"Shane, dude, look at me." He doesn't.

"Dude."

Still doesn't budge. I knock the wood lightly.

"Yo, punk, my eyes are up here." I joke.

He snorts, or maybe he sniffles, and his chin's now resting on the table, peering through the forgotten drinks to watch me. His hands are hidden, probably still clutching his midsection. If I went on a rollercoaster toasted, I'd probably look the exact same.

"I told you before that you literally couldn't be a burden."

He snorts for sure this time, derisive. I knock wood again. "Don't look away from me when I talk, young man. Rude ass punk."

"Bitch." He throws.

"Bitch bastard man." I send back. "Anyways, as I was saying. If I choose you're my dumb of ass to keep around, that's me, that's my decision. You can't burden me if I choose the hard mode package and roll with it. So stop it. I literally told you before, it's not about you not making efforts or burdening people, it's about people who want to deal with you, out of free will."

"Freaky."

"Oh shut up, you dramatic himbo wannabe."

"A what now?"

"Internet slang. Gotta admit you're closer to a dad bod type, but the energy's here, according to many."

He shuffles, self-conscious. "Y'don't need to remind me…"

"Oh hush you, you're perfectly fine. And Elliott would eat his dumb little lobster and pomegranate toasts off that belly if you'd grow out of your own shell and let him."

He sputters unintelligibly, red as a fecking pepper. Good. Flustered is better than self-depreciating.

But now he's pulled on his hood and the strings all the way out, and resumes to chanting me to fuck off, so that might be a good call for a break.

"I'm gonna change and clean up, you need anything? Do you think you'll go back to the ranch, or stay here for the night?" It's happened before, but you can count them on the fingers of one hand.

A long silence follows and I allow myself a quick look in the mirror. Yeah, we're skipping a shower tonight, but the simple hairbrush will not do. I look like a bird's nest that the birds fought in to know who'd keep the children when bird 2 takes off and bird 1 is left to mourn the empty space that'll never fill up the same again and the good times that won't be- wow, trauma lane much, not now, cowpal. First we buckle up our current rodeo. I walk back to the main room, now pajama-clad.

"I've got the beds for the possible kids up there, don't ask me why Robin put so many there, we're two people in a house, and I can lend you a Tee if you want."

He's anxious, chewing his thumb. "Emily won't mind?"

"She's out, sleeping at Haley's tonight. Girls' night and sisters catching up. It's important for her energy flow and karmic balance. Plus, you know she wouldn't mind, she likes you."

That makes him blush more, covering up the alcohol damage enough. I take note, but don't comment. Things for later. They pile up tonight.

"I- I can't go back to the ranch like this."

"You could. Marnie knows better than act as if you're doing this for fun, now. She'd have to understand. But you don't have to." I reassure him when agitated pupils jump up to me. Let's keep that ongoing panic attack at bay. "Either way, I won't mind."

I sit back. Stretch my arms between us. Catch his worrying hands into mine. Give him a squeeze. Tense appendages don't squeeze back, but don't pull back either. That's half a win. He stops torturing the poor things, and unfold with visible effort, like a crumpled up paper flower put on water. His head shakes, and I can't tell if it's conscious, him speaking with himself or trying to shake off a thought, or just a reflex. He visibly forces his shoulders to relax.

"I'm… not bothering you?" Righteous. Seeking vocal positive reinforcement, like a pro.

"Nope." I pop out the 'p'.

"... I think I'll, uh, stay for tonight."

My hands shoot into the air. "Woo! Sleepover, baby!"

I don't catch his hands curling back on themselves, trying to capture that leftover warmth in the late summer night.

--- to be continued.

[softmintmochi]

Genre: Angst

Summary: The biggest day of your life is finally here. You've never been happier in your life. Everyone important in your life is here, glad that you're happy.

Jimin's POV

I sigh deeply as I steady myself, my nerves making me feel on edge. Today is the day. Surrounded by my friends, I feel a sense of security. "Are you nervous, Jimin?" Seokjin pats my back soothingly, and I smile up at him. "Of course I'm nervous. What if I do something wrong? Say something wrong?" I ask, my fingers fumbling with my tie. I groan in frustration, and Seokjin takes over for me, tying it perfectly. "You're gonna be fine. We're all going to be there standing right next to you." He assures me. "Yeah, you've got nothing to worry about. Here, maybe this will calm you down." Yoongi says, handing me a flask. I gladly accept it, taking a swig and letting the liquid burn my throat. The door swings open, Namjoon smiling brightly as he raises his hands him the air. "Alright guys, it's time! Let's go get married!" He declares.

The venue is beautiful. I've seen it in pictures about a million times, but pictures can't even begin to compare to the real thing. A spring wedding in the forest. That's always been her dream. She's been planning this since she was a little girl. The trees towered over us, giving us nice shade from the sun's rays. Rows of cushioned seats decorated in lavender ribbon were lined up, facing the alter, which was also laced in ribbon, also pale pink roses poking out. It was absolutely perfect. I walk around, greeting people, ushering people to their seats, waiting anxiously for it to begin. I check my watch, and it's 20 minutes until it starts. I make sure everyone is seated and as soon as they are, I take my place up at the alter, all of my friends around me. I take a deep breath, trying my best to calm myself. It's time.

The music plays, and the doors of the building open. Taehyung rubs my arm that's hidden from view soothingly, trying to calm me down. Everyone turns as she appears, her father locking arms with her as he guides her. Her beautiful fingers wrap around the bouquet of pale pink roses, her veil draped over her face. Even with the veil hiding her, I can still tell she looks absolutely amazing. She always does, of course, but this is a day I've imagined repeatedly, and she looks even more stunning than I could've ever dreamed. The closer she gets, the more nervous I get. My foot taps unconsciously, my fingers fiddling in front of me. She looks at me, smiling before she kisses her father on the cheek, taking her place up on the alter. Her veil is lifted, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. She's definitely more gorgeous than I could've ever dreamed of. She's perfect.

I remember the first time I saw her. We were just kids, and she sat in my table group, and I would always tug on her hair or tease her. Whenever I did something to her she'd do something right back, and that set they basis of our relationship. For years we teased each other back and forth, and the older we got, I realized my feelings for her. She would always tell me about what she wanted her wedding to be like, and I always promised her I'd make it happen. Even though I knew I loved her, I was always too nervous to tell her. It wasn't until we were 16 that I finally kissed her, and it was the best day of my life. After that happened, we talked about where we stood, our relationship, and how things would play out from then on. A few weeks later I introduced her to my other friends, and she got along with them really well. Maybe if I didn't introduce them, it would've been me standing on that alter with her.

The day after we kissed she came over to my house, sat down on my bed like any other day after school, but she seemed tense, a bit awkward. "Jimin..." She speaks softly, looking down at my floor, and I start to worry. "About last night, I-I don't think it should've happened." Her words are like a knife through my chest. "I'm sorry, but I really don't feel anything romantic towards you. You're my friend. My best friend. I still want to be your best friend." Another knife. I really don't feel anything romantic towards you. The words ring through my ears over and over. All I can do is smile and nod. "Alright then, best friend. No worries." I laugh, and she smiles. "This isn't gonna make things weird between us?" She asks nervously. "Nah, it's all good. I don't want things to be weird between us." I wave my hand, doing a damn good job at hiding my broken heart. "Oh that's great!" She jumps up, running over to hug me, as she's done many times.

Weeks later we were still hanging out after school, like nothing ever happened. I introduced her to some more of my friends, and we all went to hang out at a park, and from the moment she waved at everyone, Namjoon going the extra mile to get up and shake her hand, I knew I was screwed. The more we hung out the closer those two got, his love for literature and music, his morals and ideals and philosophies matching hers. The whole time, all I could do was stand by. Whenever I wanted to say something, do something to show she should be with me and not him, I couldn't. They're perfect for each other, and who am I to try and stop their happiness?

Somehow I managed to stay composed through the whole service, even smiling and patting Namjoon on the back after they kiss. I have to keep it together until I go home. Please, at least until I get home. Everyone goes straight from the service to the reception, the venue being nearby. The happy couple takes a car while the rest of the wedding party splits up between two vans, bridesmaids in one and groomsmen in the other. When we're finally in the confines of the van, a collective sigh spills from our mouths, and I lean forward, my head in my hands. "You did a great job, Jimin." Jin reaches up, patting my back. A round of agreeing hums sounds through the car, and I sniffle while nodding.

"I can't do this right now. I just need to suck it up." I nod, wiping away any tears that escaped. The van pulls up to the venue, and I hope my eyes aren't red. I don't want Y/N to see me sad. We all get out, Going inside and taking our seats at the large table. It takes about 20 minutes for everyone to gather, taking their assigned seats. I smiled as Namjoon sat down next to me, but on the inside, I was falling apart.

Speech time. One of the many moments I had been dreading since I became the best man. I stand, clearing my throat and tapping my glass, getting everyone's attention. As everyone quiets down, all eyes on me, I feel on the verge of breaking again. Its hard, but I keep my cool, smiling out at the crowd. Guess it's go time.

"Hello everyone. For those of you that don't know me, I'm Park Jimin. Now, I've been friends with Y/N and Namjoon for a really long time. I was actually the one that introduced Y/N to Namjoon. Um, I didn't actually write anything for this, I figured I'd just wing it. Let's hope it goes well." I smile, and everyone laughs. "I don't really have much to say, um, I could tell some funny stories about each of them, God knows I have so much dirt. But, I won't do that. As I look around the room, and saw the service, I can tell you personally that this is absolutely Y/N's dream wedding. Trust me, she told me for years every little detail of what she wanted. Everything looks perfect, and she truly deserves it. Namjoon and Y/N, I knew from the moment I introduced you that you guys were perfect for each other, and I'm really glad you guys are happy. You both are amazing people that deserve only the best. I know it's short, but like I said, probably should've prepared something. I don't think it really takes much to get my point across though. These two are amazing together, and I hope you guys have an amazing future together."

Everyone claps, Namjoon hugging me as Y/N smiles at me. I take my seat, and all the other speeches are done. Mine probably sucked the most, but at this point, I don't really care. I'm just glad it's over with. After the speeches everyone eats and mingles, the music starts to play, everyone hitting the dance floor. The main dances take place, then everyone starts to dance together. Even though dancing is my passion, I decide to stand to he side, watching Y/N as Namjoon spins her around, holding her close to him. She looks so happy, it puts a smile on my face. All I've ever wanted was for her to be happy, and she is.

After a bit, she notices me, waving me over. I put my hands up, shaking my head, but she comes closer, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. I groan in defeat as I start dancing, her sweet laugh ringing through my ears. She's having so much fun. A slower song comes on, and I get bold, holding my hand out to her. "Namjoon, you mind if I take this dance?" I ask my friend, and he smiles. "Nah man, go ahead. I'm gonna dance with my mom." He smiles, patting me on the back. Y/N takes my hand, and I pull her close, my hand resting on her back.

"So, are you having fun yet?" She asks. "Yeah, I am. It's a great wedding. You guys did an amazing job." I smile at her. She beams, and I'm so glad it's finally because of something I did. "You were there to help a lot. I'm so lucky to have a best friend like you." She chuckles. Best friend. That's right. Even now, as her hand is in mine, holding her close to me, I'm still the best friend. All I can do is nod and smile, focusing on keeping composed. Apparently, it doesn't work. "Jimin? You okay?" She asks softly, rubbing my bicep soothingly. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I smile, hoping it helps. "Chim, I've known you since we were five, I think I can tell when something's bothering you." She scoffs. All I do is nod, not saying anything.

It's takes a few moments, until she speaks again. "Is it because of-" "Y/N." I cut her off before she can say more. "Are you happy? Really happy with Namjoon?" I ask. She nods, looking up at me. "Then that's all that matters. I'm happy you're happy." I smile, rubbing her back. She nods, understanding that I don't want to talk about it anymore. The song ends, and Namjoon comes over. "Jimin, mind if I steal my wife back?" He beams. "Of course. Go ahead. I think I might be heading out soon anyway." I say, patting him on the back. "Wait what?" Y/N asks. "Leaving already?" Namjoon says. I smile at both of them. "Yeah, I'm exhausted. I'll see you guys when you get back from the honeymoon?" I ask. "Yeah. Alright then. Rest up, bud." Namjoon nods, patting my arm. Y/N reaches over, giving me a hug. "Thank you Jimin. For everything." She whispers. I pull back and smile at them before waving. I say goodbye to the guys and then wait outside for my cab. I'll be home soon. Finally.

As soon as I'm safe in my home, I close the door with my back, sighing deeply. I slide down the door, and as my bottom hits the floor, I lose it. I hug my knees to my chest, sobbing loudly. I've kept it together for so long, and everything is gushing out now. I'm glad she's happy, but why couldn't it be with me? I'm a good guy. I could make her happy. I'd treat her like the queen that she is. I'd give here everything she's ever wanted and everything she deserves. My body shakes as I sob. I'll never have a chance. I just hope Namjoon treats her right. He's a good guy, so I hope he keeps her safe and happy. I'm glad she's happy.

[metalroofcost4400-blog]

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