#like this is literally what i sound like when i talk about fandom drama ask anyone in my life

[jessmalia]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 2x03 "The Burning Mill"

[queers-gambit]

But You Without Me Ain't Nice

prompt: ( requested ) deciding to surprise your boyfriend for Christmas after studying abroad, only to discover him in the arms of another. when you return to Oxford, so does his desire.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 5.7k+

note: it's not EXPLICIT cheating 'cause i wanted them to get back together.

warnings: small bouts of jaded feminism, cursing, hurt and comfort, AU timeline 'cause of implied altered canon, small angst, drama, emotions are hard, long distance relationships are hard, boys are dumb, "cheating" but not explicit - you'll see, more so betrayal, so that makes this relationship angst?

Cassandra's squeal of excitement was shrill enough to pierce an eardrum when you shuffled into her dormitory, shaking the snow from your hair and coat before she hugged you tightly. "I'm so excited you're here!" She beamed, "It's been so fucking lonely without you! God, you just had to leave, huh?"

You chuckled, "Oh, shove it. Edinburgh has one of the best programs in Europe, Cass, you know this!"

"I know, I know, you're better than us little folk at Oxford," she mocked with a groan, letting go of you as your eyes rolled in humor. "But still - it's so boring without you, I miss my roomie. There's literally nobody around for me to cause havoc with," she pouted dramatically.

"Well, I'm here for the holidays," you assured, "so you get me for the next couple weeks, you lucky ducky."

"Oh, please, you and I both know Felix isn't gonna let you outta his sight when he sees you. You planning on goin' home at all?"

"No, no, my sister has a flat just down the way," you explained. "She's in London until after the New Year - gave me her key when she picked me up from the airport," you showed her the metal device with a grin.

"Gonna take Felix back to the flat?"

"If he wants," you nodded.

"Oh, yeah, whatever, a flat completely to yourselves for the entire winter holiday? He's gonna lose his mind," your friend tutted. "When are you seeing him?"

"Uh, he said he was going to some party tonight?"

"Well, that's normal," she muttered almost bitterly. "C'mon, get changed, we'll meet him there."

"What do you mean, 'normal'?"

"What? Oh," her head shook as if realizing what she had just said. "No, it's - it's nothing, just," she winced slightly, "Felix is at every party."

"Really?" You asked softly. "We talk all the time on the phone, when does he even have time?"

"No offense, but it's not like he's a model student. He's constantly partying, I hear about it all the time from girls in class - "

"What do they say?"

"He's just popular - you know, he's Felix. And he's a regular at the pubs, too."

You had a weird feeling in your gut and chest, just nodding at Cassandra. "Well, at least he's enjoying himself," you offered meekly.

"Mhm, got that right," she snickered. "He's a legend 'round the university, even people in other colleges and programs know about him. Guess that's one way t'make an impression."

"Yeah, that's Felix for yah," you sighed. "Can I borrow an outfit?"

"What's wrong with that?" She paused, looking you up and down, then wincing, "Yeah, okay, I have options for you."

"Oh, don't sound so judgmental!" You laughed, "I just didn't pack party clothes, I didn't think we'd be going to any."

"You're so lucky to have me," she grinned at you, shoving through a rack of options in her wardrobe. "You wanna look classy slutty, spicy slutty, or just plain slutty-slutty?"

You hummed and chose the 'classy' option, being an open back black mini dress that clung to your figure and hiked up your thighs with every step. It felt exciting to be with Cassandra again, meeting your first year of secondary school and becoming the closest of friends; enduring family turmoil and social drama arm-in-arm. You listened to preppy pop music as you got ready; taking turns in the bathroom to finish your hair and make-up before slipping the dress on and latching the borrowed heels around your ankles.

When you gave her a look at your final outfit, she approved - claiming Felix would probably have a heart attack when he saw you.

"Wait!" You laughed, snatching a festive Santa Claus hat from the care package her parents sent; nestling it on your head. "Eh? Eh? Right? It's good!"

"Girl - "

"C'mon, it's festive!"

"You're lucky you're just so damn cute - it works," she grinned, tossing you your coat before shrugging into hers. "Hold on - you know the rules!" She halted you from opening the dorm door, holding up the bottle of tequila. "Shots before we leave!"

"Jesus, I've missed you," you laughed, taking the solo cup she held out; watching her pour enough for at least 2-3 shots.

"It'll keep us warm in the snow," she explained. "They not partying down at Edinburgh?"

"Not like here," you snickered, downing the drinks with a screwed up expression. "And they're all really preppy - like I thought Oxford had snobs, but Christ Almighty. My roommate down there literally had a panic attack when I bought a bottle of wine."

"Why?"

"She's American, said they're not allowed until they're 21."

"Wow... That's gotta suck for them," she downed her own shots. "Okay! You ready? Wait, are you wearing panties?"

"Yeah - "

"You can't in that dress."

"I'm not taking my panties off, Cass, let's just go!" You laughed, snatching her hand and leading her out of the dorm. "So, c'mon, tell me about the guy you're seeing," you requested, looping your arms together, trudging onto the snowy sidewalk.

"Oh, you mean Jason? Yeah, no, that's over. I just realized that being here is literally the only time in my life I'll have all these easy opportunities and there was no use in wasting my time dating just one person. And it eliminates the threat of cheating. Like... I don't hold my liquor all that well anymore and there's so many good looking people here! Why be in a relationship and run that risk, you know?"

You blinked at her, unsure what to say.

"Oh," she froze, "no, no, I didn't mean - no, look, dating in college is really cool when you know you're with the right person. And since you and Felix have been together for two years already, I think it's pretty safe to say he's the right one - right?"

"I think so... But I can't lie, I've been feeling kinda guilty, thinking Felix would prefer the opportunity to sow his wild oats instead of committing to us. You know? Like you said - "

"No, don't do that, you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm being stressed and upset," she hugged your arm tightly, continuing down the sidewalk. "Felix doesn't want t'be single, he would've bucked up the nerve to break up already. And you guys talk so often, he would've said something, right?"

You mused, "Not necessarily, Felix is used to having all he wants."

She shrugged off your words, "You're overthinking 'cause you're nervous to surprise him. But you're the best Christmas present, seriously. Made my day all the better."

You just smiled and skipped over the patch of ice in your way, nearly slipping, but Cassandra kept a tight hold on you - laughing loudly, your amused shrieks echoing around the brownstone buildings. When you arrived at the flat hosting the party, you climbed 2 flights of stairs without incident and let yourselves in; being greeted by strobe lights, thick clouds of smoke, and an abundance of drunken Oxford students.

It was packed - a welcomed sight after your past semester abroad, attending dinner parties with tart wines and classical music. You only had one more semester left before coming back to Oxford full time, and things just weren't the same being away; you missed the excitement, the parties, the friends you made. Granted, you had friends at Edinburgh, you often thought you could make friends anywhere, but you knew a lot of faces here. It was a comfort. And despite knowing you were here only a couple weeks until the next semester began again, it was still nice being back.

You were greeted by several people, being hugged happily and your cheeks kissed sloppily. They asked all about your program in Scotland, insisting you do rounds of shots with them, updating you on the juiciest gossip you missed.

They told you everything... Except what you should've known.

"Have you guys seen Felix?" You asked, glancing around the packed party. You noticed the uncomfortable looks exchanged, questioning, "What? What is it?"

"Uh, you know what?" Oliver Quick sighed, a new addition to the friend group that you didn't know - actually meeting for the first time tonight. "Yeah, yeah, saw him over there - on the sofa," he pointed somewhere behind you.

"Thanks, mate," you patted his shoulder, turning to push through the partygoers.

When you were gone, Farleigh turned to Oliver, "What the fuck was that? You know Felix is drunk off his tits and India's rubbing real close."

"So? Shouldn't she know someone's making moves on her man?" Oliver asked. "Not exactly fair - "

"It's not entirely fair to set Felix up like that," Farleigh sneered. "He misses her, so he drinks, flirts with girls. But he's not acting on it, you just want to get him in trouble, you fuckin' twat!"

Oliver shrugged, looking over in time to spy you approaching the couch. "He'll only get in trouble if he's acting on his impulses, being unfaithful," Ollie sneered.

When you made it through the crowd, you found Felix sitting on the couch, but what made you stop in your tracks was the little lady sat on his lap - a girl you recognized vaguely. Felix downed the shot being handed to him, grinning that stupid grin you adore, broad hands splayed on the girl's thigh as she curled into her chest with skinny arms wrapped around his neck. Her sticky lips whispered something in his ear, giving a small nibble that made your boyfriend laugh - always the ticklish type.

The alcohol you had already downed burned an angry hole in your gut, heart heavy with betrayal, feeling outrage at their audacity the longer you watched. You looked beside you and snatched the drink from a drunk guy, taking two dramatic strides up to them and without thought, launched the entire cup at the couple.

"You bitch!" India gasped, rocketing to her feet. Felix was about to yell himself, but when he looked up and registered your angry eyes glaring at him, he gaped in shock. "Seriously, what the fuck is your issue, slut?" India sneered, stamping her foot.

"Oh, fuck off, sweetheart," you snapped, "not like it's my boyfriend you're sitting on! Really wouldn't throw stones if I was you!"

Felix stood and pushed India to the side, "Baby - "

"Oh, spare me your fucking excuses, Felix! For Christ's sake! This is what you've been doing while I'm gone!? Huh!?"

"No - "

"Bullshit! Cass told me you're constantly partying, so is this what you do? Huh? Hang up the phone with me, come to these shitty parties, get shit faced, and take girls home before calling me in the morning? You even wait until they're gone before dialing my number?"

"Darling, I swear - nothing was happening, nothing was going to happen! I don't - "

"Well, not with us soaking wet!" India raged. "You're just a jealous hag, I mean, you're dating someone like Felix but I've never even seen you! Maybe if you were a better girlfriend, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere!"

"Jesus Christ, India! Fuck off - NOW!" Felix bellowed, shocking the girl. "You don't know a Goddamn thing you're saying, and you know you're too desperate - "

"Oh! So, you're moving in on 'desperate' girls 'cause they're easy, right?" You snapped. "She might be desperate, but you are fucking pathetic, Felix! I know you get everything you want, I know you don't know real consequences, but I don't have to add to that!"

"Let's just talk outside," he tried, looking more and more like a kicked puppy.

"I'm not going anywhere with you again. This isn't working, Felix, there's no way I can trust you - not when I've just seen - this!"

"Baby, it isn't - look, this isn't what it looks like! Okay? I know it looks bad, but I don't touch them - "

"There's more!? Of course, there's more - 'cause why have just one, right?"

He winced, "I just - listen, I only flirt, baby, I swear, but I-I know that's not much better. You bein' gone, I-I have this pent up energy - "

"Oh, the poor rich boy! Unsupervised without his girlfriend, so you think it's okay to flirt with other girls? Have them sit on your lap? Touch them? Flirt all night?"

"I know it sounds bad - "

"No, you know what?" You chuckled ruefully. "You two have fun, I'm out. I'm so fucking done with you, Felix, this relationship - it obviously isn't viable. So, have your skank, but make sure you get to a clinic. You obviously couldn't choose someone decent to cheat on me with, make sure she doesn't give you any STDs."

"What did you say, bitch!?" India tried to surge up to you, but Cassandra stepped in and shoved both her shoulders; sending her sprawling to the dirty, sticky floor.

"Watch yourself," she barked, dropping another drink on her and making India squeal. She glared at Felix and approached you, hushing, "You okay?"

"No."

"Let's get outta here," she nodded, wrapping you in her arms and leading the way out - not like she had to, students parted way like the Red Sea to let you two pass.

"Wait!" Felix rushed, grabbing his jacket and following you both out. Despite the heels, mini dresses, and alcohol, you and Cass were sober enough to scurry down the stairs and outside by the time he caught up. "Baby! Wait! Please, c'mon, let me explain!"

"You've done enough! I've seen enough!" You yelled back, Cass not stopping you two from making your escape. "Just fuck off back to your whores, Felix!"

"No, no," he rushed in front of you two, forcing you to stop. "Let me talk to you, please, you think it's worse than it is, I mean - "

"Awh, you think just touching other bitches isn't that bad?" Cass sneered. "Silly slut," she scoffed, rolling her pretty eyes.

"Cass, do you mind? This is between us," He sighed.

"Oh-ho, I very much mind," she rolled her eyes. "Grovel if you want, but I'm not leaving you two alone."

"I don't want to talk, Felix! For fuck's sake, I saw all I needed to. I'm literally killing myself slowly in Scotland, trying to secure my own future 'cause not all of us can be born into money - "

"Baby, that's not fair - "

" - And you're here, living your best life, being fucking deceitful, aren't you? Your girlfriend on the side and a full buffet of sluts to choose from - and nobody would know 'cause I wasn't in the fucking country! You know what?" You chuckled, "Thank you, actually. Thank you for proving what I feared the most and cutting us free. Better to know now than later when I'm far more invested. Enjoy your pick of the fucking litter, Felix, 'cause I'm removing myself from this equation, you're now free to do whatever you want - don't have to be such a gentleman anymore and just flirt with them."

"You're right, okay? You're right, I wasn't thinking, I was trying to - I don't even know! Have 'the college experience', I think, and I got carried away. I'm so sorry - "

"You're only sorry 'cause you got caught," Cass snapped.

"Ohk for fuck's sake - Cass, I love you and all, but do you mind if this stays between my girl and I?"

"Oh, so you inviting all that female attention was 'keeping it between you'?" She cocked her head, rolling her eyes. "C'mon, babe, let's go. You don't need to hear his pathetic whinging anymore."

"Think you're right," you sniffled from the cold. "Bye, Felix."

"Please - let's just talk about this!"

"No more talking!" You barked. "You don't need to defend yourself, I saw her with you - I don't need your excuses! This is over, Felix, just - for God's sake, fuck off, already!"

He froze, never hearing such aggressive words from you before. In the years you were friends and the two you've dated, you hadn't so much as raised your voice at him - even when upset. To hear such profanity at this level shocked him. He's heard you yell, but usually at other people; he's heard you curse, but typically from excitement. He felt overwhelmed watching Cassandra walk you away under her arm, the tears surfacing and his confusion blinding; wondering how the hell he had managed to fuck everything up THIS bad.

When you got back to her dorm, you were a wreck and Cassandra wasn't sure how to start comforting you. She watched you slide to the floor in tears and squatted to take your shoes off, set the bottle of tequila beside you, and then got comfortable on the ground, too. She stretched her arm around your shoulders, sighing sadly, and just held you when you sobbed uselessly into her neck.

No amount of crying would change the past. No amount of frustration or self-pity would help. No amount of regret would turn back time and prevent you from leaving your very attractive boyfriend to the mercy of Oxford sluts.

After an hour of just crying, Cassandra perked up and asked, "You wanna stay the night here or go to your sister's?"

"Felix knows where your dorm is," you sniffled, mascara down your cheeks and chin. "Maybe we should go?"

"You want me to come, too?"

"I don't want to be alone..."

"Lemme pack real fast," she agreed, leaving you on the floor to drink until you felt numb while she raced around to prepare a duffel bag. When she was finished, she hoisted you from the ground and took her car keys, shouldering your own duffel, and leading you out of the dorms. On your way to student parking, neither of you were surprised to find Felix sprinting in your direction.

"Baby! Wait, wait, wait! Please!" He begged, barely slowing down and literally skidding to a halt, nearly slipping on ice. "Just - please, let me talk to you. I-I can't let you leave thinking I fucked those girls - "

"Oh, just go fuck yourself, Felix!" You laughed.

"Is she drunk?" He asked Cass in mild shock.

"Do you know a better way to deal with a break up?" She rolled her eyes.

"We're not broken up - "

"I heard otherwise," she sneered. "You're not used to losing, Felix, but the rest of us, on Earth, know when a relationship is over."

"I made a mistake!" He pleaded loudly.

"Just one?" You snapped.

"No, you know what? I've made a few, but I swear, nothing fucking happened! Not with any of them!"

"Oh," you mocked, snickering to Cassandra.

"Just give me a chance - "

"I did," you interrupted sadly. "I gave you all the chances, Felix, and you still chose to betray me. So, you know what? I just need time to digest your bullshit betrayal, and in order to do that, I literally can't be around you."

"How will you know how sorry I am?"

"I know, I can see it - just like I saw that bitch on your lap," you scoffed. "Can we go now?"

"C'mon, babe," Cass agreed.

"Go? Go where?" He rushed, looking panicked.

"Away from you!" You laughed, holding onto your friends arm tightly as you wobbled in her borrowed shoes.

"At least let me help you - "

"Don't need help from a slut!" You shouted to the sky, not stopping.

Felix Catton was left standing in the snow, his heart walking away from him in heels too high.

And when you got to your sister's flat, Cassandra raided the fridge and brought you ice cream and pretzels - for something both sweet and salty. For the rest of the night, you cried while stuffing your face, but whatever it was worth, at the very least, you had your best friend there to wipe your tears.

Well, after a gut wrenching Christmas break, you went back to Scotland to finish an anticlimactic semester at one of the world's most prestigious universities. Without Felix to call, you dedicated more time to studying, which paid off, because by the end, you received the highest marks in your college and earned multiple letters of recommendations from well-respected professors.

But now that the year abroad was over, you were set to return to Oxford for the next three weeks to report back to your program chairs and give them an update. Suddenly, it was like the entire semester of avoiding your feelings about Felix caught up to you the moment you boarded the plane. You had stuffed your emotions deep down, ignored his morning and evening phone calls (yes, he still called everyday), and tried your hand at dating other people - but it wasn't the same. You hated that you missed him so much, but you figured you had more self-respect than to belittle yourself for a man.

A beautiful, kind, generous man... Who made a mistake... Who demonstrated remorse... Who understands what he did was wrong and hurtful... And your Daddy did raise you to 'forgive and forget'. But still, you had a difficult time forgiving Felix in full, and therefore, couldn't forget what he did.

The betrayal was still so fresh and you couldn't stomach the idea of even speaking to him. So, you decided to avoid him by any means.

When you returned to England, it was drearier than normal. Your sister wasn't able to pick you up this time, figuring you would just hail a cab when someone laid on their horn in a long, continuous, obnoxious beep. When you looked over, Cassandra was waving at you rapidly through her window.

With an easy grin, you rushed over to her car and tossed the few bags you had into the backseat before getting in the passenger seat. "What're you doing here?" You gasped, leaning in to hug your friend.

She returned your affection enthusiastically, then was pushing you off, "Bitch, I'm double parked in the red - we gotta go!" You laughed when she rushed off, heading back to Oxford as she explained, "But you said on the phone your sister wasn't getting you, so I took the liberty of reading between the lines."

"No, I didn't mean it like that - "

"I know you didn't," she grinned, "but I just wanted to get you to campus all the faster, I've missed you!"

"We have three weeks together before the start of summer," you reminded. "Ready for exams?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. "Enough of that! Tell me all about Scotland!"

You spent the rest of the car ride without a single thought spent on Felix - all too appreciative for friends. Until you got back to the dorms, that is. You'd been there all of an hour before there was a knock at the door and when Cassandra opened it, she glanced up and down the hall in confusion, not seeing anyone - but a bouquet of flowers caught her attention.

"Well, this is cute," she mused, picking up the flowers from the floor and closing the door. "Someone left flowers? Ew, bet they're from Jason - he's been begging me to get back together."

You didn't bother reminding her they were the same Felix always sent you. You just nodded and said they must've indeed been for her since nobody knew when you were coming back. Yet something in your stomach churned, knowing this was no coincidence, you knew they were from Felix, and the idea made you oddly... Warm.

You didn't want to be touched by the small gesture, but it was sweet. Reminded you of the good times between you and Fi. You felt your guts twist, realizing how much you missed him. None the less, you never said a word.

The following day was as normal as it could've been. People were looking both happy to see you and exhausted from prep work before final exams. You understood, having completed yours; all that was left was to write up a report to your dean and other department heads and present it. You spent your days in the library while everyone was in class, and while there, you were surprised to see Felix hunched over a set of books.

You didn't approach him, just chose a separate table and got comfortable. You were in the zone for a solid hour before a shadow loomed over you, making you jump when a hand met your shoulder. "Sorry, sorry," Felix rushed, hands held in defense. "Just thought I'd give you this - you seemed really focused."

You blinked when he set a blueberry muffin down. The gesture made you smile, "You remembered?"

For every study session, you had a blueberry muffin to munch on.

"'Course I do," he nodded rapidly. "Remember everything about you, love. And these were always your favorite, right?"

"Yeah," you breathed. "Uh, thanks, Fi, this was nice of you."

"Seemed really focused, wanted to make sure you ate," he half-smiled. "I didn't mean to interrupt, uh, j-just wanted t'say good luck on your presentation."

Your heart clenched when he walked away back to his table, not once looking up at you as he worked. He really only meant to give you the muffin, which surprised you - Felix was terribly persistent, and for some reason, you actually felt sad that he wasn't vying for your attention or forgiveness.

This felt like a reality check, reminding you that you were truly broken up. So, you just sniffled and focused again, nibbling on the muffin as you revised your report. You hated the tension, the distance, the disturbing idea that while gone, he had been with countless other girls. You especially hated that you began regretting leaving for a year, feeling as if you created this situation by leaving room for Felix to seek attention elsewhere.

You knew it wasn't the truth - this wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who decided to implode your relationship, to be unfaithful in the least bit; and seeking higher educational opportunity wasn't grounds for anyone to cheat. It felt entirely unfair; you were in the same position as Felix, alone in another country, missing your friends and family, and yet, YOU never sought attention - emotional or physical - in any way from anyone else.

You at least had a sense of loyalty. But at the same time, you tried to validate that this was "the best years of your lives" and Felix was a young, hot, rich boy. Why wouldn't he bask in the attention of others? He always had and it felt wrong to crucify him for being a lad with hormones.

You began to wonder, did you overreact? Of course you didn't!

But you missed him immensely.

For the three weeks left in the semester, Felix would leave flowers at your dorm room, brought you little treats, never impeded on your space, and just made himself known without being overwhelming. You thought it was endearing without giving him too much credit after his betrayal. For three weeks, he was sweet, kind, soft spoken, and from what you understood, turned reclusive - refusing any party invitation, even backing out of pub meetings.

He wasn't hanging with friends, drinking, distracted with girls. According to local gossip, if you could put stock into the words, this new behavior started right after Christmas; after your very public break-up.

You were mildly intrigued by his change of attitude, but didn't confront it. You felt distance was necessary for healing, yet there was no denying your love that still festered - and maybe, the idea that Felix was truly remorseful and loved you, too.

It all came to a cultivation on the day of your presentation. To say you were nervous was an understatement - pacing the entire night before, going over what you were going to say, making final revisions; driving Cassandra up the wall, but she was still supportive.

That morning, she left early for her own ventures, but made sure to help you pick out an outfit. It was something smart, it complimented your figure in a professional manner and made you feel powerful and like a "real" adult.

You packed your bag and walked to your college's lecture hall, getting there about 20 minutes early to set up your materials and run through your notes one last time. When your dean and other professors entered to settle in their seats at the front, you heard the upper backdoor open. When you looked up, you were shocked - like, actually shocked - to see Felix sitting up there with Cassandra, Farleigh, your parents and sister.

You tried not to dwell on their presence, but suddenly, knowing Felix was there to support you, you didn't feel so nervous anymore. Something about his viewing of your final project made you a little more confident, quelling your nausea as you cleared your throat and started your oral presentation that had a guided visual and 20-page report.

When you finished, you were grinning. Your deans applauded you, and from the back, so did your friends and family; in fact, Felix was on his feet, clapping with vigor. You handed over the flash-drive that housed your visuals and then your bound essay report, shaking the professors hands, and letting them leave.

When you turned, your family had descended the auditorium stairs and your friends were trailing after.

"Oh, you brilliant girl!" Your father gushed, wrapping you in a huge hug. "My perfect, most special girl! That was amazing!"

"Thanks, Daddy," you giggled. "What're you guys doing here?"

"Oh, Felix called," your mother informed, petting hair off your shoulder in a calming motion. "Glad he did, we're so proud of you."

"I didn't even know peers could sit in," you admitted.

"Apparently, they're not, but you know, Felix has a way with rules," your father sighed, shaking his head in amusement. "Thank God you got your mother's intelligence, fear you'd be shit outta luck if you had mine, eh?"

This triggered a round of other compliments from your loved ones; sister and Cassandra both beaming at you in pride, everyone offering their compliments on specific sections of your presentation to prove they really, truly had been listening. You felt bashful, waving them off out of embarrassment, and then you agreed to attend dinner for a celebration - your mother informing you that the summer would be spent in a French villa and details were to be discussed at the meal. But first, you noticed Felix still sitting high up in the lecture hall and promised you meet everyone at the dorm later.

When the hall cleared, you sighed and slowly made your way up to where Felix lingered; his form fidgeting nervously the closer you got. You dropped to the seat beside him with a deep sigh, ready to confront everything, when he offered a decently large bouquet of familiar flowers. "Congrats, love," he whispered. "Was really well-done, even if I didn't know half of what you were sayin'."

You accepted the flowers, petting the petals gingerly, then asking in a low whisper, "Felix?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Why'd you do it?"

"I know how important this was for you, I asked them all to come so we could support you, knowin' you were nervous - "

"No," you interrupted, turning in your seat to face him. "Why'd you have to go and ruin us? Why wasn't I enough?"

He swallowed thickly, "It wasn't you that wasn't enough."

"Huh?"

"Think I felt insecure," he admitted. "You were at Edinburgh, bettering yourself and I think I got scared that you'd love it there so much, you know, that... You'd leave. Leave Oxford, leave England, leave... Me. So, I just... I don't have any excuse, honestly, love. I know I fucked up, but I think my fear was being projected in the worst way..."

You nodded, "Do you regret it?"

"Every fuckin' day."

"Any plans for tonight?"

"What?" He blinked in shock.

"You wanna come to dinner with us? I mean, you went through the trouble of gettin' everyone here - and I know you must've bribed someone to let them watch."

His cheeks reddened, chuckling nervously, "It wasn't... I didn't... All right, yeah, I had to pay off the custodian - he unlocked the door for us."

"Mhm," you smirked. "So? Dinner?"

"Are you sure?"

You nodded, "You made a mistake... A huge one, but a mistake none the less. We've had time apart, and I've learned, I don't want to be without you. My life is far more interesting with you in it and I feel less alone. So, if you want, I'd like for you to come to dinner with us, maybe work on our friendship again. See where things go?"

"As long as you're okay with it."

"I'm the one inviting you, yes, I'm okay with it," you chuckled at his nerves, standing, and offering your hand. "C'mon, Mum says we're spending the summer in France - maybe we can convince her to invite you, too."

"Doubt Cassandra would let that happen," Felix mused, shouldering his bag and taking your hand - instantly lacing your fingers together.

"Oh, on the contrary, she might like it; it'd give her something to do."

"What's that? Makin' me her personal punching bag?"

"Exactly," you grinned, squeezing his hand.

"Hey," he paused you before you could exit the auditorium, looking sadder than when his dog died; bottom lip gently trembling. "I just... I need you t'know, I'm really fuckin' sorry, love. I was an absolute idiot, I fucked this up - broke your trust. I regret nothing more, I was such a fuckin' arsehole, and I don't want to be without you, either. I realized I'm not myself without you, that me without you doesn't feel right - "

"Hey," you halted his rambling, "I can't tell you it's okay, Fi, because it's not, but your atonement is appreciated. We've been friends for so long, I don't think I want to walk away entirely - so, let's just go slow and figure our shit out." He nodded in agreement, letting you lead the way, smirking when you cheekily told him, "Mh, bit of advice though? You could try to get in good graces by payin' for dinner tonight."

"Done and done," he eased, releasing your hand to hang his arm around your shoulders, and just like old times, you raised your hand to lace with his, other wrapping around his waist. The smile didn't fall from Felix's face all night, and by the end of the night, had arranged to stay with your family that summer - Oliver Quick and what could've been a summer at Saltburn far from his mind.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

[joshriku]

What are your favorite fics you've read in the past year?

hi thank you for asking i love to talk about fics i read. im so sorry you didn't specify a fandom so i'm going to talk about everything i favorited this year so far lol. i am currently reading this cherik fic called exit wounds by lemonadegarden and i cannot stress enough how good it is. the worldbuilding, the politics, the characters, the storytelling, the emotions, just so so good. please read it if you are a cherik liker. i love it. i haven't finished it yet but omg. not in any particular order

the patch of sand where we buried the dog by shroomyystar: this fic is about luna and erik running into each other and getting ice cream. it should be normal but it's magneto family you know it's fucking insane. you don't even understand the luna and erik brainrot i gained from reading this i was like oh my god his granddaughter.. magnificent character work. to me the magneto family in comics have such a special specific dynamic and it's so well nailed here. it's crazy

make the fire rise by frozencinders: alright i don't go to baldur's gate 3 but i know enough about wyll and astarion and i really like this author so i might as well read their wyllstarion do you feel me. it's about yearning and romance novels and vampires and everything u could ever ask for. i loved it sm. one of my favorite things about this is the narration, like the way the thoughts flow so easily while keeping in beat with the character voice and making u feel so earnest..... gorgeous.......

what's the point in playin' a game you're gonna lose by shroomyystar: raven/irene in regard to the x-men blue origins revelation. raven being so fucking mad at irene but also so deeply in love with her to the point it's the same thing. when i say toxic yuri this is exactly what i mean it's exactly raven trying to kill her and thinking it's like having sex. that's EXACTLY what i mean.

gravity felled the apple (but the spiders stuck around) by maroonmusings: insomniac spider-man 2, peter gets to keep the teaching job and everyone thinks he has a favorite student (miles) which creates some drama until they figure it out a little too well. it's so fucking good. when i read peter parker, i want him to sound exactly like this. the character voices.. the non-canon characters perfectly fitting in this... the entire spider-man cast playing very well in this fic.. THE DIALOGUE! writing peter is such an art but this person GETS it.

taste the way that you bleed by maroonmusings: peter parker/astarion based on that one time they made a joke about it. again i don't go to bg3 but fantastic character work, it's literally so in character it totally sold me on this pairing - not that i need much convincing for crackships. that's just who i am brother.i fucking loved this so much.

Some Catching Up to Do by magicasen: jean/wanda! jean/wanda set in x-men first class. it's so fucking good and funny, it feels incredibly in character to the xmfc versions of them. it's such a feel-good fic about them in that period of time too, and pietro's cameos were too fucking funny. i love girls being girls and being in love :(

lech lecha by ferriswheelsdayoff: hosea matthews character analysis it will blow your tits off. i'm still floored by the amount of work into each line and how it's connected to real world teachings and how it manages to weave all of hosea's important relationships while analyzing him too. saur good

take what you give me by magentateam_bplot: storm/magneto. THIS is the sub erik type of shit i enjoy. magnificent characterization of both of them i could easily read 9k of it 1k was too little!!!

Girls' Nights by EmilyArmadillo: gabby bonding with vault laura!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like i wish we actually had gabby's reaction to talon? i mean ofc that's asking too much from duggan, or for duggan to care, but this person delivered so well. everything was so well implemented, even the bit where the other laura kinney sees her and leaves the room. ahhh so good

Graveside by NotesFromSarah: the aftermath of erik burying anya after the fire, and then him and the twins coming together to visit her burial place. i thought this was amazing and heartbreaking and also a very groundbreaking magneto fam style for me..... not a lot of fics focused on them during the 80s, which is a good place for them to be somewhat normal around each other, and this fic does such a good job of using tragedy to join them without disregarding their past. gorgeoussss

Last Chance by Lefaym: my notes on this says 'old man sex heart hands' and it's exactly that. doomed timeline cherik from dofp have such a special heart to me even if i don't go much to moviesparts as i did before and oh my god... it's about that longing that regret that they're running out of time and also your hip being sore so you can't really hold a sex position. i love it.

Speed of Silence, Sound of Silence by neverminetohold: x-men evolution pietro & erik. something goes wrong and pietro thinks he's going to be scolded, but erik doesn't scold him. 'His quickening stride screams of his wish to escape this moment that is as far removed from a lecture as it can get.

That defines their relationship in a nutshell. Will they never be able to move beyond this?' you don't even get it im insane. im insane. im insane

chatoyant by unsungillumination: this fic is the best use of the fake dating trope that's ever existed, probably because the main protagonists of this are light and L death note. L and Light get in a relationship for strategic reasons until light gives up the death note, forgetting it is strategic, and believes it's actually real. it's so fucking good. also devastating

Drive. by MissAmyShay: the bear fic. insane. carmy and richie reconciliation, nat and richie flashback to when mikey was first declared dead, nat richie bonding, nat giving birth, donna mentions. what else could i even ask for. it's amazing. i don't even need to read any other fics

telltale by unsungillumination: L haunts light after his death. it's literally ruining light's life. this is my favorite thing in the world i love a good fic about grief and about fucked up soulmates who are not soulmates in a traditional way. i recently finished death note after leaving it on standby for a decade and i'm thriving

This Is How I Disappear by TzviaAriella: kira gets found out. he gets sentenced to death row. he asks the task force to shoot him. it's literally the most haunting fic in the world and i'm so so so so obsessed with it i kinda wanna reread it but it's like devastating and most of all GOOD

they both die at the end by unsungillumination: when i say i love fics that make me feel at odds with my own mortality and how i am spending my life and also grief for the future and grief for things past and grief, in the actual sense of death, ohhh. oh my god. what kills me is that this fic is just so grounded as well. you know the ending is coming. you just hang onto the little moments hoping MAYBE it won't happen, but you know. i loved it so bad. also this is a death note fic again

Connect the Dots by GrayJay: SCOTT SUMMERS ASKS MATT MURDOCK OF DAREDEVIL FAME TO BE A TEACHER AT THE SCHOOL AND THEY BOND OVER HOW SIMILAR THEIR DISABILITIES ARE it's ltierally so godo it's insane i love my favorite characters talking so much :(

the thirty-second hour by unsungillumination: this fic is about light yagami not being able to lie for 4 hours in each day, but it happens at random times, as a consequence of regaining his memories of the death note. it's inspired by i found you in the fire by yosgay which is ALSO one of my favorite fics even if it's not from my current 2024 reads but it IS TO ME. anyway. point is a character like light being forced to tell the truth is amazing. the layers of performance and what truth even means being analyzed through light's own eyes... mmmwah..

Tough Love by UmbrellaMartialGod: haikyuu fic. suga/tsukki. i was like no one in this world understands my fucked up haikyuu dynamic ship in which tsukki has a life-ruining unrequited crush on suga that no one else knows about except yamaguchi EXCEPT THIS PERSON!!!!!!!! THIS PERSON WROTE IT!!!!!!! IMAGINE THAT. HAVING A FIC ABOUT A RAREPAIR THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEEDED. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. I GENUINELY DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT

anyway, thank you for asking. i love fanfic and i love talking about it. hope you enjoy either of these

[thevtuberconfessional]

Oh I get you, I try to keep away from Nijisanji as much as possible as well. The only streamers I actively watch are Zali and occasionally Sonny (if there's anything bad about them, pls lmk 😭)

But about Kyrio, I really didn't know anything about him so I went in without any prejudices and still immediately picked up on his manipulative behavior.

In one of his first streams he went on a long rant about how there are so many people that keep away from him without ever having talked to him before. He painted it as everyone was wrong and he's so misunderstood and ofc his chat ate it up. But to me this whole rant was just so strange because... sure, there are exceptions, but everyone knows that you can easily manipulate the narrative in a private conversation and that it's better to listen to the majority than to go the "but he was nice to ME" route.

He also often went into long monologues on how much he missed and loves his chat. At first I was like mmm well it's a bit excessive, but pretty much every cc says that nowadays. But since then, it has become just extreme. There is absolutely NO reason for any cc to remember viewers names, not simply usernames but actually preferred NICKNAMES, and single them out and SPECIFICALLY tell that one individual that "I care! I love you! I think you're beautiful! And I am here for you!!" NO. NEVER EVERRR. That's so fucking unhealthy. Luckily I am an adult with friends and family and the ccs I usually watch all set healthy boundaries so I know very well what line is strange to cross. But for anyone in a bad mental state and more vulnerable position, this is so incredibly dangerous. The way whenever new chatters come in he specifically singles them out and asks personal questions and wants to know more. Having nicknames with regular viewers. Saying "don't trauma dump" but every time someone says they have a hard time, he spends minutes telling them that he cares and is here for them. It's sick.

Also, this is a bit more petty, but why tf does he act like he goes through hardship just because he has a deep voice. Like even for men, men with deeper voice have it easier in life. There are so many ccs I can name on top of my head that went viral or popped off PURELY because they have a deep voice, there is a reason so many amab streamers purposely lower their voice when they get started. Sorry Iris but he mentions this so often, it pisses me off every time 😂 YOU'RE LIVING LIFE IN EASY MODE, JUST APPRECIATE IT DUDE 😭😭😂

Hey, no problem. No need to apologize, this is a confession blog-- this blog is BUILT for this stuff! But anyway, yeah. Reading through this ask was the first time I got fully acquainted with the Kyrio drama and WOW, this was a lot worse than I thought. It's really not right. It just feels...scummy. To be honest, this feels like some big issues on his part--I'm not sure if he's doing this on purpose or not, but regardless, he's reaching ALL NEW levels of parasocial. Literally-- I've been in a lot of streamer Fandoms, and this is genuinely insane. I really hope he calms down soon somehow, because this is getting concerning.

Also, yeah, I totally get the last one--while you can mention disliking having a cheap voice a few times [I completely understand having insecurities about your voice and sometimes having genuine difficulty with them], after mentioning it so many times it definitely sounds like attention seeking/fishing for compliments. I try to give the benefit of the doubt in that aspect, usually, but let's be honest, it's getting weird...

Again, no prob, Anon. I like reading your thoughts! Have a good rest of your day or night ~ .

~ Mod Iris

[meowm1x]

just while it's on my mind, i just also wanna get this off my chest.

i hate how people, ironically, call survivors of abuse "childish" for trying to explain our feelings, but our language has actually been turned into such childish slogans and terms against our fucking will.

i mean one of the biggest and most obvious one is "triggered". i hate the shame that still comes with having to unironically use that even in a psych setting where it literally is a descriptor.

but the other terms that fuck me off are "don't yuck someone's yum", "icks", and "anti".

that yuck yum one grosses me out because of how deliberately childish-sounding it is when we're talking about dark adult topics, it's at best just so tonally dismissive, and at worst used to cutesify some genuinely disturbing abusive behaviour. i've seen people saying we should replace the term "trigger" with "ick", which is just.......... baffling and demeaning in so many ways. and honestly, i fuckin hate the terms "anti" and "proship", it was never made with genuine intentions, it was always just nothing terms made to sound childish and silly, to mock valid criticisms, vague on purpose enough that you can say the "antis" are harassing you. anti...what? "who cares, they just hate freedom of speech and want to censor me!!!"

after my last appointment with my counsellor when i was talking about how isolated i have felt in online communities, being shunned or even victim blamed whenever opening up about my abuse, she asked if there were any communities that shared the same boundaries, and it made me think how if i want to find like-minded folk, i'd have to search for "anti-proship" groups which just make me feel so...embarassed, because now my genuine trauma has been reduced to these buzzwords against my will, make it sound like nonsense fandom discourse drama. even when it does come to those groups, the groups run very young, which is great for them, because teens deserve a place to be safe from predatory shit for once. but when you're an adult survivor of CSA, and want to find other adult groups where you can still talk about adult things, but finding those that agree there are certain boundaries not to be crossed? i have no idea what language to use to find that.

i'm back to square one, where i just don't want to engage because i'm tired of being mistreated for my trauma.

[frankiebirds]

a masterlist of everything i’ve written can be found here.

if my blog theme or blog in general is inaccessible to anyone—whether that be mobile users, people who use screen-readers, etc—please tell me. that is a thing i care about

I do take requests! send them as an ask and I make write a drabble or even full fic inspired by them. guidelines for what i will and will not write can be found here, but don't fret too much about them. i'm not going to bite your head off if you ask me to write something on the "no" list, the "guidelines" only exist so you know not to waste your time asking me for things i won't write when there are a lot of talented people out there who will.

i am autism. I’m visible in your children, but if I can help it—(/ref) anyway. i am autistic and that will show sometimes. i tend to be literal-minded. there is a non-zero chance i will misunderstand your ask and need clarification, i’m sorry if it winds up being inconvenient! i’m also. very blunt at times. i’m not mad, i just talk like this. i overcompensate for that too so i will jarringly flip between speaking very bluntly and formally and adding about five thousand emojis and exclamation marks to my words because i noticed i sounded blunt. enjoy!

there may or may not wind up being 18+ content on this blog. i’ll update this if that does happen. as of right now there is not, but in the event that there is it will be tagged as #nsfw and politely ask that any underage followers block that tag if they haven’t already.

please don’t ask me to talk about fandom drama unless i somehow wind up doing it first. i’m here to mash my blorbos together not get into arguments.

ill occasionally talk about things i dont like about the things i like. block #negative if you only want to see jokes and analysis

and finally, if you're interested in my mediocre gifs/icons, come shout at me at my editing sideblog

[callmearcturus]

Do you have any advice for finding people to write fanfic with? You talk all the time abt your collabs with punct and it sounds like in addition to providing a second opinion, the two of you really help motivate each other to keep working on stuff :)

UUUUUUh I am uniquely not the person to ask this I think, lmao. Instead of "coauthor" lets say "collaborators," because that's much more common for me.

Because for the PT Benji AU, that one is pretty unique. Punct had the initial idea and I think we haggled a bit over "well SOMEONE has to write this, the idea is so fucking good" and I started turning the brainstorming sessions into an outline. Then because I know Punct and their skill level, I jsut started.... Poking them to hop in and directly help? And that submission scene two(?) chapters ago, I just fully asked them to take a swing at writing it and I'd revise, which worked fabulously. Hell, just last night, Punct reworked the outline for the last 2 chapters of act one, and it's amazing.

For me, cowriting is difficult because, uh, my speed and intensity. As you may surmise, I write Very Fucking Fast and I have a lot of ideas about the Process, so I often feel like... Roping someone in to work with me is a huge ask.

You know all those posts you see about how writing is a slog and how blank word documents stare back at you and, like, that genre of post? I don't relate to those. When I am entrenched in a project, I often have to STOP writing or I risk literal physical injury. (My worst injury came from writing TSAD, never fucking let ANY human type at that speed, folks.)

I am, frankly, a freak. So as we started collaborating, I told Punct "hey bruh, I know that I am like really intense and i work very fast, please know I DO NOT expect that from you, okay." And reiterated it a few times. /looks over at Punct. So they better keep it in mind!

Anyway, enough conceited clarification, onto the point of your question.

How do you find people to create stuff with.

The number one thing that I will keep saying until I am blue in the fucking face is: post positive stuff you are interested in.

I do not hateread. I try to keep drama to a minimum on Tumblr. When I see opinions and takes I disagree with, I tend to post alternative takes in a hopefully positive manner instead of trying to take down others. I think there is a big habit in fandom for people to go "UGH why are people posting X when they should post Y." And that bitching never actually gets you more Y, it just makes everyone less excited about creating stuff.

When you are looking for collaborative souls, you are looking for people excited about creating stuff. So you need to telegraph that's what you're into in a constructive way. But I think an unfortunate pitfall a lot of people fall into is... Just announcing it.

When I got into Mission Impossible, I didn't do a lot of "hey I'm into MI now, pls come talk to me about it." Instead, I started making posts of why I was into it. Here's some batshit stunt facts, here is a treatise on Ghost Protocol's deep unorthodox streak, look at these pics of Ethan from Fallout.

They're like setting out treats. Sometimes, you lure in people who are willing to say "yes, and." And when you find those people, you keep track of them and see if they continue to be willing to play with you. Then you sidle up and go "so can I pitch you on an AU." And you put them in a cardboard box and carry them away to Discord.

There's more I could say, like how sometimes I try writing towards specific people (like how KTOWL was written at @thedoublepp and I feel like I learned a tremendous amount by doing that) and honing writing based on that, buuuut this post is long.

[arianaofimladris]

Batman Whumptober 2024 entry

Fandom: Batman (Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy)

Prompts filled:

No. 22 Bleeding through bandages

"I think you've had enough, Mr Wayne." He grabbed Bruce by the elbow, carefully avoiding stains above. "How about getting some air?"

"What are you doing?" Bruce stumbled and his words sounded a bit slurred, but his eyes darted around. He clearly picked Gordon’s intentions and played along, but the commissioner wasn’t sure how much of his behaviour was an act.

"Saving you some embarrassment," Jim said loudly, his voice full of mild disappointment as he steered the younger man towards the exit. "And a lot of explaining," he hissed once they were alone at the corridor and Bruce suddenly swayed more. Not an act, then. "Unless you have a good reason to be bleeding through your tux."

Full story under the cut or in here:

A welcome distraction

Long shifts usually happened in the least appropriate moments, and if he were completely honest, Jim wouldn't have picked a party as his preferable way to spend the rest of the evening. Sadly, he had been invited as the Commissioner and the host was Bruce Wayne, so he needed to show up if for a short time. Wayne Manor had been rebuilt just before the end of the year, so the billionaire threw a house-warning party a week before Christmas. Jim knew Bruce loathed the idea as much as he did, but complied to Alfred's suggestion as a celebration like this was expected of him.

As it turned out, Jim wasn't the only one being late. Bruce Wayne was nowhere to be found, not that his guests seemed to mind. Jim wasn't really surprised. He had a strong suspicion Batman had been supporting the police operation without being seen. That terrorist group trying to take hostage people doing pre-Christmas shopping really had had the worst timing. 

Jim spotted Lucius Fox among the guests, one of the very few people he could actually talk to and soon they got engaged in a conversation about the latest order the police placed in Wayne Enterprises. They almost missed Bruce's arrival, but raised their glasses in a toast as the host welcomed them all, before his apparent date for the evening swept him away. Jim saw the billionaire mutter something to her and kiss her cheek before he literally left her to greet other socialites. Something was off. Bruce Wayne usually liked to show off his beautiful companions. He also seemed pale and a bit out of breath, which also confirmed Jim's suspicions about the nature of his lateness.

The party went on, hopefully uneventful. After the long day at work Jim wouldn't really mind if all the excitement of the evening was provided by excellent food and drink, with no drama or scandals. Lucius Fox had been a good company, but at some point he too left to join a few people Jim vaguely recognised as Wayne Enterprises board members. Since he himself wasn't exactly in the mood to discuss anything with any of them or any city officials he was doing his best to avoid, he found himself wandering aimlessly with a drink. He hoped for a normal conversation with Bruce, so when he finally spotted him relatively unoccupied, sipping at his champagne, Jim moved to join him.

Before he got there, someone bumped into the billionaire from behind, causing him to spill the rest of his drink.

Bruce yelped. He was quick to cover it with a smile and reassurance that everything was perfectly fine, but Jim was already making his way towards him. Something was most definitely not alright - neither in the strain in his smile, nor in the pain in his voice. Bruce called after the nearest waitress and asked her to wipe the floor, but as he turned to leave, he stumbled and reached for the wall to steady himself. Then Jim saw a wet stain on the black suit, a stain that certainly did not come from the champagne, and decided to intervene.

"I think you've had enough, Mr Wayne." He grabbed Bruce by the elbow, carefully avoiding stains above. "How about getting some air?"

"What are you doing?" Bruce stumbled and his words sounded a bit slurred, but his eyes darted around. He clearly picked Gordon’s intentions and played along, but the commissioner wasn’t sure how much of his behaviour was an act.

"Saving you some embarrassment," Jim said loudly, his voice full of mild disappointment as he steered the younger man towards the exit. "And a lot of explaining," he hissed once they were alone at the corridor and Bruce suddenly swayed more. Not an act, then. "Unless you have a good reason to be bleeding through your tux."

The billionaire looked at his left sleeve a little above the elbow. The word that left his mouth was very clearly a swearword, though Jim couldn't even begin to guess the language. It didn't matter. What they needed now was some private place and Jim realised he had no idea where to go.

Bruce seemed to pick his hesitation. "In here." He fished out a simple key and opened second door to the left.

It was a small storage room. Once Jim closed the doors behind them, Bruce leaned against the nearest cupboard and quietly slid down to sit on the floor.

"Thanks," he muttered and shifted to support his clearly injured arm. "Damn. Lock the door, please," he passed Jim the key and worked on taking off his jacket.

Jim complied without questioning, since there were too many eyes that should not see the host of the party bleeding like this. When he turned, he saw Bruce leaning forwards, head between his knees, swaying dangerously as he panted. His jacket hang awkwardly on his left wrist and he was pressing his good hand to the bloodied sleeve of his shirt. He swayed more and jerked, reaching out blindly trying to catch himself from falling.

"Hey, easy!" Jim knelt beside the younger man and held him steady. Bruce was blinking and taking quick, deep breaths, but all the colour seemed to have drained from his face. "Easy, son. Lie down, okay?"

Bruce didn't really object as Jim steered him and made sure he wouldn't hit his head. The commissioner really wished they had gone anywhere else. It was absurd, making the wounded lie on a cold floor when there were beds, couches and armchairs in the surrounding rooms. Sadly, so was a hundred guests or so.

"Hey, no, none of that. Don't close your eyes," Jim patted his cheek lightly as he lifted Bruce’s wounded arm to put it on his chest. "I need you with me, ok? How bad is it?"

"Stab wound," Bruce hissed as he reached to put pressure on his arm. "Deep. And damn fresh." He was still taking deliberately deep breaths and blinking. "No need for alarm." His voice was steady, though a bit strained.

"Mhm, sure," Jim snorted, but got what the younger man was trying to say. I’m not dying here. "Hey! Stay down for a bit." He objected when Bruce already tried to push himself back to a sitting position.

"It's better now."

"Yes, because you are lying down. Give it a few minutes, then we'll get you up."

"Alfred's gonna kill me," Bruce grunted, but complied. He stared awkwardly at the ceiling for a moment, then fished out his phone and hit a speed dial. "Yeah, a bit of a situation here," he admitted to what Jim assumed was Alfred's greeting. "I need a fresh shirt and jacket... Yeah, that too... In the pantry, with Jim. It's all under control."

Jim wasn't sure now convincing Bruce thought he sounded, but from what he had managed to observe about Alfred Pennyworth, he doubted the butler was in any way reassured. 

"Any chance I can find you something to drink here?" he asked, feeling a bit awkward crouching like this. He looked around, but most of the cupboards were closed.

"Probably," Bruce muttered. "Just wait for Alfred."

When Jim inquired about the locks in the doors, just to keep the wounded focused on something, Bruce explained that the pantry led to the kitchen Alfred used on daily basis. It was a private part of the manor and they didn't want guests or catering staff invading that space, so they installed a simple universal lock in several doors. This way Alfred could easily close areas they didn't wish strangers in, and in emergencies like this one, Bruce had a possibility for quick escape and a place to retreat to. Besides, Alfred absolutely loathed the idea of catering staff - or anyone else, Bruce included - messing with his kitchen.

They didn't wait long. 

"Oh dear." Alfred rushed in the moment he saw Bruce on the floor. "That bad?"

"It's okay now, Alfred," Bruce reassured him immediately and pushed himself to sit. Jim didn't stop him this time. "Just needed a moment, it's fine. Besides," he forced a grin, "you did tell me to lie down before."

The butler didn't seem amused. "Yes, and by that I meant in your bed, not dusting cobwebs in the pantry."

"You don't have cobwebs here," Bruce retorted and accepted Jim's help to get back on his feet. He leaned against a cupboard for a moment, but seemed steady. "See? All fine. Just need a clean shirt."

"You put it on that, you're just going to ruin it, sir," Alfred quipped and pointed at the bloodied bandages Bruce was still pressing on. "Let's get you sorted first, sir. Did you at least manage to drink or eat something?"

"Half a toast I couldn't skip," Bruce winced. "Half too much."

“Not what I meant, sir.”

They moved to the kitchen through the second door and Jim was struck by the difference. Unlike all the freshly rebuilt rooms he had a chance to see, this place actually looked like someone was using it. Jim understood what Bruce meant about keeping private parts private and he felt like an intruder, especially since the other two seemed to ignore his presence. Bruce sank heavily on a chair and accepted a rehydration drink Alfred passed him before removing the shirt to change the dressings. He tried to stay still, sipping at the drink, but when the butler got to the last layers of soaked bandages, he flinched and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Wait," he hissed, clearly fighting nausea.

"I'm sorry, master Wayne," Alfred stopped, until Bruce nodded for him to continue. "I can't just let you go back there like this."

"I know."

"Then perhaps next time try not to get butchered right before hosting a party," Alfred tutted and uncovered the wounded arm.

Jim winced in sympathy. Bruce said he had been stabbed, but whatever weapon caused it, it must have sliced his muscles open on the way back. Fresh sutures were barely holding swollen skin together and the deep stab wound was still oozing slightly. It must have bled heavily before, no wonder Bruce was dizzy after the initial adrenaline rush was over.

“I am trying.” Bruce leaned on the table as Alfred worked on redressing the wound and took another sip. "Sorry," he said to the commissioner. "That's not the kind of entertainment I promised. At least I hope the catering is good, I couldn't try it." He didn’t bother to hide his weariness from his voice.

"Never mind that," Jim shrugged him off. "The food is excellent and trust me, I really don't want to do any more business tonight."

"No?" Bruce looked up and offered a pained smile. "And here I was hoping talking business to you would be a good excuse for our absence now."

"If anyone cares to ask, sure."

“I would appreciate it if you could stick to just talking, master Wayne,” Alfred commented as he helped his employer with the fresh shirt and then the jacket. “I don’t think you need any more excitement today.

“Yeah.” Bruce ran his good hand through his hair, slipped the wounded one in the pocket of his trousers and Jim watched in amazement as he transformed back into the billionaire with an easy smile plastered to his face. “Well, Commissioner, I’m sure we can find some dreadfully boring topic to talk about.”

[mysterybooks-world]

what the hell man

I set one rule myself

That I respect any kind of fan story or fan art and I respect their opinion

But if there is something I don't like

I Simply comment (I don't like it) That's all. Because I don't want to cause problems or hurt their feelings

for example

I like Frowny Fox But they hate him

Who do I mean they?

meowzerkia on TikTok

I was looking for AMV or TikTok about Frowny Fox

When I found this Videos

Usually I don't make wars on the fandom Rather, I stop fighting on the fandom BUT darling.kia..fandoms made Frowny Fox a bad person

Oh yes poor dogday And I was like what WHAT…

Yes, I know there are characters, some people like it and others they don't like, however

I would like to ask them: Did you even witness the episode?

first: Good design on they characters gacha I give them that

second: It wasn't funny to make this kind of video about Frowny Fox Yes we get it, you don't like Frowny Fox

I will be honest I'm not very interested in smiling critters. I was interested in game poppy playtime

And let me say poppy playtime 3 the playing was crazy I was literally ready for all sorts of jump scares

For example, if I heard a sound or anything in the shadow, I became prepared mood

How many times have I had to lift my heart from the ground because of this tension in the halls?

And Don't get me started on the radio

It was like someone was talking to me on the radio

when I saw catnap I was like Oh no, here comes the nightmare.

Anyway

I didn't have a favorite among them Even though I read the fans story About them and like the fan art About smiling critters.

but when GameToons made Frowny Fox

He has become my favourite smiling critters.

So yeah I guess what really bothered me They made Frowny Fox seem like a bad person.

Even though Frowny Fox is the victim in the first place

The REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation) REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation) HAUNTED by the REJECT CRITTER… (Cartoon Animation)

I have read comments on (REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER& HAUNTED by the REJECT CRITTER)

You want a new episode about the smiling critters apologize to Frowny Fox and And they become his friends Like the episode of (The REJECT of BANBAN)

But there is a difficult thing to forgive people for what they did to you

Why do I feel Deja vu؟

Let me clarify some things

I don't think Happy is not true friend to Frowny Fox

Yes I know

I know what you're going to tell me

Happy was the only person who cared About him But is this really the case?

Happy She wanted to throw the cupcake at dogday because he hurt her friend Frowny Fox. but dogday use Frowny Fox as a shield

Did you see dogday's face, how happy he was behaving?

and he supposed be the leader of the smiling critters. If he behaved like this, he does not deserve his title as a leader

REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER

Yes I know it was an accident. Happy Didn't mean for this to happen. she Didn't want him to fall in incinerator

But she didn't do anything Like how she knows he's dead, he might be alive there and he's injured

For example, turn it off the incinerator And check it If he is still alive But no She just cried and said sad words and left

And did you see a reaction of DogDay & KickinChicken

They did not care that they killed him, but rather they cared about themselves. They were afraid they would get into trouble

not only this. In this scene

HAUNTED by the REJECT CRITTER

KickinChicken: we have to destroy frowny Fox again

DogDay: but there's no way to destroy him without destroying hoppy too

They don't care about him

And after they locked him in the vacuum.

hoppy: yeah thanks, guys I can't believe I fell for frowny Fox's trick

KickinChicken: it's okay hoppy we're safe now frowny Fox won't bother us ever again

Okay, wait a minute, why is this a scene?

Why do they say this as if he is an evil person here.

They bullied & Abuse him but When frowny Fox wants to fight back Suddenly they act like victims here

in the REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER In this scene (4:59/8:17)- (5:43/8:17)

Did you notice the sweating on frowny Fox head?

I don't think he wanted that either.

He doesn't want to hurt anyone, but he is angry and lost because of the betrayal of his only friend

But maybe if hoppy did jump in the incinerator

frowny Fox will come to his senses And saves her

He says sorry hoppy, I don't know what happened, I was blinded by my anger. I'm sorry.

I know some of you ship Frowny Fox with Hoppy But hear me out

And Don't get me started on hoppy behavior.

in the REVENGE of the REJECT CRITTER 3:29/8:17

her behavior was right to be angry Both of them

But her behavior was wrong in (HAUNTED by the REJECT CRITTER) in the scene from 1:14 to 1:20 She was really sad for him

But what shocked me?

this the scene 1:33 suddenly she became happy to play with KickinChicken

The same person who hurt her friend

The same person who bullies her friend

She didn't even do a Grave for Frowny Fox

but in (CATNAP'S SACRIFICE)

They did a grave for catnap Because they care about him

and in episode: The SMILING CRITTERS are DEAD

catnap did funeral for them

But did happy perform a funeral for Frowny Fox? No, she did not

She was simply sad for him and moved forward In her life

Not even a day has passed and she simply forgot about him And play with people who hurt him

I mean come on If you had the same friend as this, would you forgive them that easily?

I don't know why Frowny Fox give me vibes like Villainess Manga Character

I read some of the comments about Frowny Fox for example

He was rushing to judgment. hoppy didn't mean to do this

Frowny Fox is a Emo

Frowny Fox is exaggerating things Just Get over it.

And I want to respond to all of them this:

ME: Let me remind you guys In the episode The REJECT CRITTER

the leaders of Playtime Co decided to come up with a brand new smiling Critter one that went in a New Direction

(In an advertisement)

you've seen other cheery smiling Critters like Dog Day and Bubba Bubba but you've never seen anyone quite like FrownyFox the brand new smiling Critters or should I say unsmiling Critter

while the others Giggl and play FrownyFox rests alone contemplating life's big questions unlike others he's sensitive a great listener and more than anything longs to be understood

FrownyFox cuz you can't have rainbows without a little rain

they were sure that he would be a valuable new member of The Smiling Critters Lineup a bold innovation that would allow them to tap into a whole array of human emotions.

It's not his fault he's made like this

FrownyFox is supposed to be sensitive

His name literally starts with Frowny

I think I know what's really bothering me about meowzerkia videos

they Make him like an evil character in a gacha video.

but Frowny Fox is the victim here, not Smiling Critters

What do you guys think about that

Tell me your opinion in the comments

[lockandkeyhyena]

Tricks up my sleeves took YEARS to be completed and they want to pretend they didn't know about the drama until now? After admitting they unfollow anyone who DARES bring up what shitty things ppl in the community are doing?? It's such BS what are yall talking abt them acting reasonably. Have any of you read the actual comment they made, there's a reason they're being so vague about "problematic" stuff the artists did because both drew CP and one of them STILL HAS A PLATFORM. If you replaced problematic artists in their comment with "people who sexualize children" it'd sound insane hence why they're being so vague and weird about it. It's pure manipulation folks!! Also they supported JK Rowling with a drawing for her birthday on twitter and said they "didn't agree with her views" but were still gonna support her. This is that same attitude but for people who did something that is literally ILLEGAL what do u mean reasonable this is one of the worst responses I've seen in my life??

They made it all about "poor me the internet is so mean just bc I put some bad people who did bad things [they rlly don't wanna mention what was actually done LMAO] Im a grown ass adult who thinks I shouldn't have any responsibility to protect my mostly child audience pwease tell me I sound reasonable." We are not rewriting this narrative to be nice to them come on guys.

Their care about the victims to these people is SO PISS POOR, they won't even add A WARNING A WARNING a sentence in the desc saying 'hey these two people suck don't watch if that would upset you'. Then at the same time are telling people to just not watch it if they don't like it? HOW??? IF YOU WON'T WARN THEM WHAT'S IN IT THEY CAN'T AVOID IT?? Almost like admitting they have two abusers in their map would be like... A bad look or something and they care abt that more than others safety or comfort.

Also they deleted my reply to their comment saying all this so no, they're not "being reasonable" this is purely and simply protecting the horrible artists who did that shit. Let's not play devil's advocate for ppl who draw CP please-

jesus christ calm down i was just giving my uninformed opinion on the situation because people asked. did you not see my reply adding that if they purposefully blocked people warning about dangerous people in the fandom, they have no right to complain when people point out that they have unsafe people in their map?

how the fuck did you jump from that to me ‘playing devils advocate for people who draw cp’???

if i sound defensive its because i. am. obviously.

[desinyschildrenjkjm]

https://www.tumblr.com/desinyschildrenjkjm/758092295605272576/sometimes-people-are-so-anti-shipping-or?source=share

Being against shipping doesn't cause people to sound homophobic. It is because they already are homophobic that they are against shipping culture between two people of the same gender. I've been in different movies, dramas and music fandoms for years where two celebrity friends (man and woman) are openly shipped by half of the fandom, and there have never been anti-shippers coming into their spaces to tell them it's disgusting to ship people who are like brother and sister to each other.

Literally nobody cares about who gets shipped, until that ship involves two real life men who are close to each other. There's no reason why the existence of Jikook blogs should enrage people so much that they come here to spend their day insulting everyone and sending repetitive asks to 20 blogs per day. You either have a duo you ship or you dont and you dont care about shipping and what shippers believe, and you mind your own business because it does not affect you in the slightest. There's no in-between.

Those people being bothered enough to come camping in the Jikook tag to iterate about how crazy about pussy Jimin is, how Jungkook will marry a woman, and how "they see each other as brothers omg how can you think they are gay?", are homophobes, plain and simple. Not anti-shippers. There would never be such talk had one of them been female. Not ever.

Totally fair and true to what i think too...i only was less straight forward about it because i guess i was not specifically thinking of the more violent anons or posters, but made the post thinking more about the youtubers id just seen who might think they mean well but still spread anger and hate with their warnings and hand wringing. But they quack like a duck and if im honest yes i think they are only so bothered bc of homophobia. and i know not all ppl who rant against shippers are straight so i think they dont always mean to be homophobic, but their underlying homophobia is showing anyway and whatever the intention i do actually think that the pushback and anger and weirdness has its roots in homophobia even a lot of the time when they are people who arent usually homophobic its like they forget these are real adult people and not only vessles for fandom politics. Some try so much to be 'respectful' or 'not assume' that they actually are placing shame and making it seem like something dirty to even entertain the possibility that the love we are seeing with our own eyes for years now is romantic love.

[harrystomlinson]

holding onto heartache

It’s becoming a pattern now where i have a epiphany in a vent post on my main and follow it with a entire lyrical breakdown.

I had the horrible day and instead of a) studying for my finals b) processing my emotions and c) resting , I present to you d) a lyrical breakdown of what to me is the most important, personal and vulnerable song off the album.

I've seen a lot of theories that think this song is about Zayn, and I honestly agree? It makes sense in the second verse but I feel like this song on its own is about the gap between 1D going on hiatus and Louis trying to find his own sound and space with everything that was going on with him. The processing and reeling.

We know he's the kind of person who instinctually takes care of people, puts others before himself and has always been that way, even in the band. I think the song on a fandom standpoint is there, this interpretation will dabble along those lines but in a more general and sort of personal interpretation.

As usual, big hugs if you relate to this. Here’s holding onto heartache.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love

The moment I heard the lyrics "You said I wear it like a crown, it's gonna drag me down" I kid you not I was shook to my core. Here, he's being addressed by someone, someone he is close to and talks to and someone that understands him. They see how he's been and they're making it a point to ask him, tell him that he's holding on to his hurt, his feelings and thoughts. This person also knows at our speaker is someone who knows how they're feeling. He "wear it like a crown", so one would think he's in touch with them, they're working them out. But in reality, its only dragging them down.

This is about the people that others know is self aware, and to someone who doesn't know them that well they even come across as a very "emotionally intelligent" person. Someone who takes care of others so well probably can take care of themselves, right?

The fourth line, he isn't being addressed, but he seems to be agreeing with what is being said to him. He is holding onto his heartache, but he deflects. Even when he and his hurt is brought up, he talks about how this person should be "starin' at the sky" and watch the birds that passed by, or that they should be taking in the world around them in peace, and not bother with him, or how he is feeling.

The wind, it held us up, but We knew that all would change Creates the strangest feelin' Just slowly waitin' for the end I still have dreams about it The moments as they came The moments never shown to us Because we faded into darkness

Now this verse makes me absolutely feral because its very obviously about the band and its hiatus. Is there another way to view it? Yes absolutely, I'm gonna talk about both of them.

I would like to say to anyone who believes in the "Louis didn't know the hiatus would be happening and it was sudden and unexpected" should maybe reconsider their opinion. We know the supposed behind the scenes, all the bad parts of the drama. He is literally singing that the "wind" of the peak of the band publicly held them up, they were the biggest thing ever, but they knew it was going to end very soon. They would put on these massive shows and watch oceans of crowds sing back to them and watch their names be celebrated but also know it was going to end soon. What had made their lives and careers and all the time together was going to just...end like that, with so many things unresolved and so much hurt caused to so many people. He still thinks about what did happen, what didn't happen and what could've happen. They just faded away, like it had never happened.

To me, this is about all the people we've loved and lost. For the people who feel like the happy moments they have won't last, the joy and laughter won't last, because it never has. No matter how high the win held you, it had always changed. You're always waiting for the end because it's always been like that. You give and you give until it's gone away (yes that was on purpose, goes to show the incredible writing on this album) and no matter how much love you give it goes away. You never get the same back, and yet you still have dreams about it, it still haunts you because it's a part of your heart that you gave away.

I can still hear a silence I can still hear a clock that's tickin'

A strong and effective pre chorus which ties the song together so beautifully.

The statement is oxymoronic, with silence one can hear. But that's the thing with some silences- usually, you're silent when you do not know what to say. When there is doubt. When there is uncertainty. When there is a gap to formulate an answer. But some silences speak for themselves- there are silences because you know it. There's a silence of knowing, of inevitable, painful change that you had to come to terms with. It's a beautiful way to put together how he can still feel those feelings in him, like a ticking clock in a quiet room- its there, but you never notice it until everything else is blocked out and you have no option but to listen to it.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love Holdin' onto heartache

I can go on and on about how much I love this chorus and the sheer amount of layers in it. The change in perspectives, the dialogues placed as lyrics that tell us so much about him with so little effort.

The last repetition of the title seems almost rueful, and it's pretty cleverly placed if you ask me. I don't know a lot about song structures and how they can be changed in their building etc. But on a lyrical lever this was the perfect place to add that little repeat and the vocal delivery on it makes me want to rip my hair out and cry in a totally not normal way.

The nights, they change in seasons Become the strangest days I called you twice, but then regretted it And changed my number The questions that I'd ask you "Where did it all go wrong?" There's endless versions of the thing That keeps me driftin' back to darkness

I have two things to say: "Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes? Everything that you've ever dreamed of disappearing when you wake up" and "No matter how much you want it, some things change"

We're back with the whole "haunted by what could've been", placed in a very particular lyric. What I found eye catching was the "called you twice" instead of the usual 'I called you and regretted it'. Doing something twice isn't something you do when you're driven by impulse or out of a rave sentiment. You do it twice when you think you're affirmed in your decision. He didn't regret calling this person because he didn't mean it or because it was a rash decision, it was because he felt like he was doing something wrong. That the other person wouldn't be okay with wanting to communicate to work it through.

When you've always been taking care of people perfectly and you fuck up with one person, who makes it explicit that you made a mistake, you're scared to ever care for them again. It's like walking on eggshells because you're scared you'll do it again. You're scared to ever hurt someone because you know what it is like to be hurt and you would never cause someone that, so instead, you just let it be. Give them "space" rather than call them, talk it through and process it. You end up not giving importance to your own feelings about the situation because you're worried more about how the other person is feeling.

The last two lines might be the most vulnerable, honest and gut-wrenching lines I've ever heard. (After the defenceless bridge, of course, love you walls).

When you love and you love and you love, you hurt the same amount. If you have a ton of love to give, you will also have a ton of blues to feel. How you feel is never disproportionate: If you're allowed to love in endless versions in tremendous amounts, you'll also be feeling grief in endless versions in tremendous amounts. It's a scale that never tips in intensity.

You know the party's over When you're standin' in an empty space alone And time can always heal you If you let it make its way into your bones Nothing's ever easy To be honest, I'm not easy on myself The second that I see you The space between us just comes floodin' back

This bridge makes me want to smash a glass bottle against a wall followed by punching a fist through it, kool-aid man style.

In my original post I talked about how this song song is for the "therapist friends". This bridge is exactly where that came from.

From a fandom standpoint, I feel like this was the point where the band had started the hiatus and after the year Louis had personally where he went through a lot of things. I think it was that moment where he knew that being aware of his grief wasn't enough, he'd maybe have to work through it (shoutout to Angie's amazing post here @persephoneflouwers) and grow.

All the advice and facts you state and use to comfort those around you in need for it, sometimes you ought to listen to it yourself. It's not as easy as it sounds, you even know that. But you know it. You know for a fact that you are capable of healing. You know when it's time to stop, you know when it's time to start. You know that for someone who's constantly caring for people around you, making sure they're not hurting or are not alone in your hurt because you know how that would feel, you're not easy on yourself. Because no matter how hard you try, you always seem like you end up in the same place because you keep holding onto it.

You said I'm holdin' onto heartache You said I wear it like a crown It's gonna drag me down I'm holdin' onto heartache You should be starin' at the sky The birds just passin' by, love

The incredibly tender "love" that makes me want to shake and sob aside, I want to end this how I ended my original thing: This song is for the people who hold onto their heartache, because they don't know what they'd be without it.

For all the people out there who give and care and love endlessly, the ones who feel a lot, the ones who never feel like they can talk too much about how they're feeling without feeling like they're burdening the other person when they'd listen for someone in a heartbeat, for the people who know what's up with them but have a hard time processing it or don't know how to process it, for those who feel like they keep going back to and holding onto their heartache after everything said and done, Louis has done it again, hasn't he?

Find my other FITF analysis' here

[queenofsliferred]

✨🎯🌂 💚🍎🍩 for Beatrice Lacrimae, Lavinia Sparda-Amata, None, K and... I can see you have Kingdom Hearts on your OC page, but nobody is listed. :<

Oh, and Emiri Satou and Anemone from your non-fandom OCs!

(I'll include my KH ocs for you ;) )

OC Ask Game

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Beatrice Lacrimae was just me looking for characters in Dante's Inferno/Divine Comedy but I didn't realize that Trish was literally Beatrice ahgufddgusdf. But I got attached to Beatrice so pfpf. Lacrimae I believe was latin for tears and I thought that it was #deep.

Lavinia Amata was also a Dante's Inferno situation :)! Lavinia is the daughter of Amata, Latinus' queen, and uhhhh. uhh it sounded pretty LMAO.

None was 100% me making a mistake during the character creation screen where I.. forgot to put in a name. So when she was introducing characters in the game she came up as just "None" and I thought it was really funny gshdf. Then I thought she could have an actual name but goes by None to represent her mental state; Nunally is a Code Geass character I like and Wenonah is a native american name meaning First-daughter.

K was me picking a letter that wasn't used (at the time...) in Death Note that was close to L. She originally was going to use the codename "Kami" because I was really silly as a 12 year old learning broken Japanese. I picked the name Katherine Kilgore as an adult because I thought it sounded nice!

Kitana, one of my KH OCs, was the name of my cousin that I really liked. I used her first and last name originally but changed her last name to Garrison when reuploading the story to AO3 as an adult.

Nerissa just sounded nice and kingdom hearts-y hehe.

Emiri was the name of a Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya character I liked despite her small appearance. Satou is a common Japanese name!

Anemone was an aquatic flower that fits the floral themeing of my magical girl group hehe.

🎯 -What do they do best?

Beatrice is probably best at showing off her #sick and #elite sharpshooter skills and scythe. Though, outside of that she's a sewing pro and made a lot of the over the top "lolita-esque" outfits herself. She also makes a rly mean stirfry noodle according to Kyrie :}

Lavinia is prolly best at singing; she can go from operatic sopranos that can shatter glass to deep scary metal growls. She's also really good at like vocal impressiosn too? It's fucking weird lol.

None, if you asked her, would say she's best at sexual stuff due to her past. She doesn't like to talk about it too much though, or rather, think about it too deeply. She's good at small weapons and diplomacy.

K is supposedly a mathematical genius but I, the creator, am terrible at math so please just believe me.

Kitana was supposedly TEH KEYBLADE MASTERESS so take that as you will, haha.

Nerissa likes playing struggle and soccer but isn't sure if she's actually the best at it.

Emiri is best at child rearing and being a cheerleader. She's also amazing at organization and team management, its how she can manage to volunteer so often.

Anemone is pretty good at gymnastics and acrobatics.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Beatrice: Comedic Romance, Action

Lavinia: Comedy, Dramedy

None: Post-apocalyptic drama, erotica, tragedy

K: "Crime thriller", romance, tragedy

Kitana: Romantic comedy, emphasis on the comedy

Nerissa: Slice of life, romantic comedy

Emiri: Slice of Life, NTR/Cheating, Erotica

Anemone: Erotica, action-adventure, romance, magical girl

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Beatrice: Cis fem, bisexual

Lavinia: Feminine (demi-girl?), pansexual

None: Cis fem, bisexual with male-lean

K: Cis fem, demisexual

Kitana: Cis fem, straight

Nerissa: Cis fem, bisexual with fem lean

Emiri: Cis fem, bisexual with male lean

Anemone: Trans fem, pansexual

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Beatrice doesn't know her father who was supposedly a demon and her mother was ill and very distant for her. Its... not the best. Not hostile but not good.

Lavinia thinks that her father is Sparda and that he's complete scum for abandoning her mother. She never met the demon but has a difficult relationship with the concept of him. How could someone who saved the world be so selfish and vile? She was also manipulated by her "angelic" mother, Amata, who taught her to hate Sparda and his sons. She loves her mother but is the one who ultimately ends her life.

None thinks she loves her parents. They did their best to raise her but didn't protect her and outright enabled bad people without realizing. It's incredibly distant even before she's sent out to the Wasteland.

K is an orphan with little to no memory of her birth parents and was not adopted as Whammy's House found her too valuable to be adopted out. She treasures her relationship with Whammy/Watari though.

Kitana was close to her parents. Standard parent-child relationship where its strained due to teenage hormones and not feeling like she's truly understood. She's closer to her mom than her step-dad though. She doesn't realize how hard her family is looking for her when she's stuck in the Kingdom Hearts world though.

Nerissa is in a similar scenario as Kitana. They're close and love each other very much, they butt heads but at the end of the day... it's all good.

Emiri is close to her father, Eitaro. MAYBE A LIL TOO CLOSE-- Her relationship with her mother is fine. They all love another.

Anemone is an orphan unfortunately :(. She doesn't remember her parents and had to take care of herself.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Beatrice: At first, she thinks its Kyrie but ultimately falls for her just like she did Nero lol. She has a friendly 'rivalry' with Nero whenever they're on missions together though.

Lavinia: Her momther, ultimately, after she learns the truth about Sparda.

None: FUCK DA OVERSEER *makes him explode*

K: Light Yagami...

Kitana: Seifer and eventually Xemnas/Xehanort if I ever got that far in her story LOL.

Nerissa: fuck that seifer guy amirite *grossly makes out with him*

Emiri: No one really, she gets along with everyone.

Anemone: the demon lord, Lovena, who created her and the other Magical Maidens.

thank u for the ask!!!

[away-ward]

Hello! I wanted to take a moment to address some up coming changes.

I can see that I've been getting a lot of new followers lately, and as always, this comes with an influx of new asks and messages. I want to be clear: I am not, nor have I ever, been bothered by receiving an ask or message. I love getting things in my inbox. Sometimes the content of the message bothers me, or I disagree with what's been sent, and that takes some time to navigate. But the act of communicating and starting a discussion has never been the issue for me.

However, this blog as has been functioning more or less as a Devil's Night fandom blog since 2022, and I've been receiving messages in my inbox since about October of that year. Just recently, we passed 300 messages (which, WhooHoo! yay us for having a (mostly) drama free time!)

Because I get new followers frequently, those who have just finished the series or who just found the blog, I tend to get some pretty similar messages. Since I've had this conversation before, I usually don't have anything new to say, and I don't want the blog to become the same post over and over again. At the same time, I have a hard time not responding to people who have sent in a message with genuine interest.

I have done a lot of hard work to make sure the tags are for organization, and not just for visibility or talking to my followers. For instance, if you want to find all my thoughts and views on Emory Scott, you can search for "#emory scott" on my blog, and it will bring up every post that is about Emory Scott. Because I don't tag for visibility, I will only add a character tag when the post applies directly to them. There's more about my Tagging System on the master list posts. This is true for all characters. I also frequently use "Character discussion" and "Series Discussion" or "Ko's dns tag" for posts that are more general about the series.

If You Are New: please, please, please, go through the character tags before you send me a message. I have been responding to messages for almost 2 years, 300+ replies. Someone has most likely already expressed your thoughts that I have responded to. I know it's a lot of backlog and you just want your thoughts responded to, but at least try to make sure I haven't already said the thing you're looking for.

Plus, the character tags are fun!

Again, I'm not mad! It can just be a little exhausting if all you're looking for is my thoughts, that I've already posted them somewhere else. Maybe you're not looking for my response, and you just want a place to post your thoughts anonymously. If that's the case, please clearly indicate that, but know that I won't post it. I'll read it! But I have no interest in being an anonymous message board (though maybe someone else can start that blog cause it sounds like that would be very popular...).

The only exception to this is Alex. Because I acknowledge that I get a lot of, what I would consider, Alex hate messages I don't like tagging it as Alex Palmer, because then it will go into the Alex Palmer tag, and readers who do enjoy her character will be forced to either block me (which is fine) or endure the several posts that hate on a character they like. I hate the idea of doing that to someone, and so I tend not to tag her.

Brings me to our first change:

Going forward, I will be tagging all the posts that have Alex as a topic of discussion as "no alex tag". It's just kind of funny to me to have a tag that literally is "no tag". It's, like, a joke.

When I come to a past post that is Alex centric, I'll be changing that as well, but it'll take a while to get through. However, I know I have some major Alex posts, and those I will tag immediately. My thoughts on Alex rarely change, though I go through phases of intensely disliking her to being mostly indifferent. I wish I had reasons to like her.

Second Change:

I usually try to respond to asks quickly, and in a timely manner because I hate making people wait. Waiting for someone to read and respond can give me anxiety, and I probably project that on to other people. That's my issue. However, I don't always have the time and I don't always like having huge sections of the blog that's just messages. If they're short enough it's not a problem, but I rarely receive messages on the shorter side. I know it can also be overwhelming to others.

So, I'm going to start queuing or scheduling my message replies, limiting to one or two a day, depending on how long they are or the content. This, hopefully, will avoid creating huge blocks of text on my blog and your dashboards.

Last time I made a change like this was when I started numbering asks and answerers, and that worked out great. People started using the numbers which made referring back easier! I hope you appreciate that I'm trying to keep the blog a bit cleaner and easier to navigate, avoid being repetitive, which is tough especially for new people coming in and not wanting to read a huge backlog of posts, and creating a more fun blog for everyone.

Thank you to everyone for understanding and working with me on this! The messages in my inbox will becoming out soon. Will open the anon messages if anyone has anything to say, though please be aware it might take me a while to reply - Thank you!

-KO

[hammerhead-jpg]

Ok so @bi-polar-geminii already made a post about this and had fruitful discussions about it but I feel like what I have to say might be too long to fit in their asks but

I definitely agree that SOME redacted artists seem to be unable of drawing diverse characters, keyword SOME because this fandom is one that definitely has a majority of lovely designs

And before I continue I want to point out that I am a snow cockroach myself so maybe I shouldn't be the one discussing this but obviously diversity is not just about race, it's about everything on a person like sexuality, ethnicity, nationality, body type, facial features and structures, hair textures and overall small features and accessories that differentiate the person

Honestly this is something that I've been thinking about for a long while and I won't name drop anyone because this isn't a call out post and I'm not looking to start drama (even though there is a certain someone that comes to mind but we won't talk about that) but I was scared that people would get really pissy.

I know that diversity is something that could be classified under artistic skill and I believe that not every artist who posts on social media can't just draw for fun and as a hobby without having the goal of improving but I do also think that diversity is not only a type of skill in character design but also a small gift to anyone that doesn't fit the the perfect beauty standards and when you seemingly refuse to draw anyone that doesn't fit that standard and like, only draw tank, Milo n Alexis as brownskin then that just kinda seems icky

And btw I'm not saying that it's bad to draw those three as poc (hell my tank is darkskin) but there's a difference between drawing a good chunk of the characters as brownskin/darkskin (obv including characters that don't fit/go against the racist stereotypes) and and those three just kinda end up being part of that group and then like all of your characters being crackers and only them being poc

I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you not to make all of your listener designs the same pretty faced preppy saltine sister and every male character the same dorito back webtoon guy but just with different hairstyles, clothing styles and maybe sometimes body types (but never even slightly chubby cuz god forbid)

And also, can we get some listeners that are male/masc?

This is something that I was kinda scared to talk about because like 90% of the fandom will draw like 90% of their listener ocs as women or very fem presenting and I definitely have quite a few listener designs that are very feminine or could be assumed women on first glances and again, the listener characters are gender neutral for a reason and they are at the end of the day supposed to be self inserts so the redacted fandom being majority fem/women it makes sense that they would make majorly fem/women listener ocs but like... If you're already making ocs would it kill you to make at least ONE of them masc/male? Like at least one you don't care about?

And I know saying that people should make more masc/male listener sounds kinda???? misogynistic???? But I'm not saying that because I think that male representation is a thing but because I think queer representation is a thing

I just think that maybe just maybe a little gay people wouldn't hurt??? Pretty please???with a cherry on top????

And damihux doesn't count!!! You don't get to draw them once and be the ultimate gay ally but ofc only on gay month because any other and you might get sent to hell!!! /hj

Just saying when naive little may 2022 me just finished watching freelancer and Gavin team tag Lasko (but not really because I'm literally a mineral and don't have the Patreon) and then went on social media just to see that the fandom was full of STRAGGOTS my jaw hit the submarine

And just, as we close off I know I'm not the ultimate master of diversity, my designs still fall under the pretty face fluffy hair m shaped bangs that definitely look too young for their age but I'm still working on making my character designs look distinct and diverse, and I will be actively working on it for like forever but I definitely won't lie to myself and say that I haven't improved from my dolphin smooth same face syndrome anime boy faze when I only ever wanted to put facial hair on a character when they were past the age of 27 but only put it on the jaw so they just ended up looking like Abraham Lincoln- so I know that I will get better at it eventually

I too look at more talented who are way better at making distinct designs and making designs for characters who don't have to rely on beauty standards to be absolutely gorgeous and feel bad, especially when basically the whole fandom simultaneously descides that a character is poc, a decision that I missed out on and then the fact that my design is seemingly the only one that is white makes me feel like those people that turn objects into people but just end up making them the same breed of sexy anime boy that nobody likes

So if you're insecure about your designs not being distinct enough the best advice I can give is to step out of your comfort zone and actively look for little details that might make a character unique and you'll get there

In conclusion, people who descide to be a conformist (/j) and draw Gavin with a human skin tone but then make him as pale as an uncooked chicken breast when he's specifically described as tan are kinda weird<3333

Also UNPOPULAR OPINION ‼️‼️

People who make their Lovely oc fem/a woman are DELUSIONAL ‼️ and are LYING TO THEMSELVES and are going to miss out on all the sexy fanfiction I'm going to write about Vincent riding their girthy monster cock ‼️( SLASH J EVERYBODY!!!!!!)

At the end of the day, people can draw whatever they want, but people can also say whatever they want in response to it, so you can't be mad if someone that's not even talking about you directly says that they find it strange that some people act like drawing a person that's not completely cis, white, straight, able bodied and a super model without it being some sort of subconscious stereotype will give them the plague

[tonberry-yoda]

Whohooo, my timer rang, it’s the 7th!🥳🤣 (At least in my country, so I hope, sending my request now is okay?👀)

First off: I wish you so so much fun with your first event. Like I already said, the idea is amazing and I’m looking forward to every single post.🥰 So, here is my soul striptease:

I’m a cisgender woman and therefore I use the pronouns she/her. I‘m bisexual but on a spectrum I tend a little bit more towards men, at least at the moment.

My favourite fandom is Hunter X Hunter and I would be more than happy about something romantic.

For characters I don‘t want to be paired with, I would say Leorio (I could only teach him some medical stuff but that’s how romantic as it would get) and the more than obvious Tonpa?!😂 And no minors oc because I‘m old.

My personality… I can find humour in everything and like to laugh a lot but at times I can be somewhat melancholic and dark-minded… which I kind of like. I‘m very adventurous and open minded and never actually judge people… each to their own, I like to say. When it comes to friendship I‘m loyal as fuck (honestly I would cover up murder for my friends) buuuut in relationships I tend to get easily bored. My s/o should have high intellect (I hate smalltalk) and somehow needs to excite me… even some drama can be quite entertaining for me from time to time. When it comes to love I’m multilingual: Physical touch, quality time and gifts are my love languages but it’s very rare that I’m verbal about my feelings. Other than that, I‘m hopelessly romantic and - when good entertained - I’m passionate and head over heels. I enjoy art in every shape or form… doesn’t matter if it’s music, visual arts or literature. Generally I just like to look at pretty things (or people) and admire their beauty (sounds kind of creepy, but I’m not a creep, just an aesthete, promise!😐) My hobby’s are singing, writing and painting, even on people’s faces, cause I‘m pretty good when it comes to make up and hair (idk why), which I enjoy doing for others. How I present myself… I have pretty long wavy black hair, light green eyes and I always always always wear black. I’m more short than tall and quite petite. My style is simple but chic, I would say. Sometimes I enjoy wearing heavy make up and statement jewellery - but that depends on my mood. Oh, and I’m the biggest Parfumjunky I know of, so I’m always smelling of at least something. When it comes to how I behave in front of others, I‘m talkative and quite extroverted. When going out or just spending time with others, I’m always the last to call it a night, cause I enjoy deep conversations so much (also, you can sleep when your dead so why taking the risk of missing something exciting?). But there are times where I need to be by myself and I need space. By others I sometimes tend to get received as cold or even arrogant at first sight (resting bitch face going strong) but when they get to know me they’re surprised how chill I actually am (or that’s what they have told me at least 😂). My quirks are definitely that I can be very impulsive (even when it comes to big decisions) and that I’m so so SO impatient. VERY IMPATIENT.🥸 When it comes to music, there’s less that I don’t like: I love metal and rock, dark classical music, sometimes even minimal and house but never ever would I listen to girlpop! (Don’t come at me Taylor 👀) And yeah, that’s that. Thank you so so much for your work und making my evenings more entertaining.♥️🖤

notes💌: hello love! happy valentine's day <333 I am SO HAPPY that you asked for hunter x hunter because it is one of my top animes! Like literally my most nostalgic and literally at the top (dont tell jjba i said that) (and a lot of people dont know that about me lol) but yes! I love this anime and had so much fun reading your matchup and thank you for participating in this event <33333

The character Cupid chooses for you this Valentine's day is...

HISOKA!

i have had a really bad brainrot for this man so thank you for the excuse to geek about him <3

you and him both have a humor that can turn dark and everyone will kinda look at you funny, but neither of you care because that's how you two get along

that's probably how you met

you told some dark joke and the entire room went silent until you saw hisoka chuckling in the corner and from there, you two were inseparable

you're both not very judgemental people and it's perfect that you arent because hisoka is A LOT and that is something that you love about him because he is willing to be a whole lot in a lil package and bring so much pizazz to the relationship

you were both really loyal friends who would do anything for each other (you have hidden bodies for him lmfao and he for you ofc) and because of that, it made your relationship so easy to start

also, i figured i'd put you with hisoka instead of someone like illumi because you will NEVER get board in a relationship with him. NEVER

you two always have something to talk about or do as a couple and you are just never complaining

THIS MAN OWNS EVERY LOVE LANGUAGE

he doesnt mind that you arent as verbal though because you give him enough of what he needs

but do expect A LOT from him

words, cuddles, flowers, acts of service, ALL OF IT <3

you two are both very romantic people who are head over heels for each other tbh lmaooo

he is definitely a piece of art to admire, that's for sure, so you get to stare at him a lot and he actually loves it. boosts his ego lmao

and he'll do the same, he'll just admire you and tell you how beautiful you are

PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE DO HIS MAKEUP

he will love you even more, which is surprising tbh

you two match all the time, even when being casual

not wearing the same clothes, but having the same aesthetic for the day

sometimes yall even clash cuz it looks awesome

you're just iconic powerhouses

he loves you so so much because you match his energy

you and him are both very much people people, so you get to enjoy A LOT of nights out together partying and just having too much fun

he will definitely give you the space you need, but honestly, he cant be away from you for too long, so he'll just stay with you in silence if you need it

cuddles are a great recharge for the two of you

*cough cough* he thinks its hot that other people think that you are kinda mean. it just means you can protect yourself. your rbf is hot to him

he knows how sweet you are thought and will never ever make you out to be a rude person

he hypes you up always

he can definitely help with the impulses and try to get you to not, but lets be real, he's just as impulsive and sometimes encourages it lmfaooo

he plays girly pop in the house to annoy you lmaoooo

but nonetheless, he loves you with all of his heart and soul and is proud to call you his partner for life <3

💌 How would he ask you to be his valentine??

this man does it in the cheesiest way possible tbh. he would make candy hearts that say will you be my valentine and lay them out on the table with chocolates, a bouquet of roses and 2 teddy bears to look like the two of you! you would come downstairs to a total surprise and hisoka would surprise sneak attack you with a hug and ask you verbally if you want to be his valentine. of course you say yes, so the man attacks you with kisses

💌 Valentine's Day Date

You and Hisoka had spend time with friends all week long and now Valentine's day was your day to spend together. You didn't want to have to go out and about and around other people, you just wanted to spend time together and be in each other's presence. "Are you almost ready, dear?" Hisoka asked, clipping on his earrings. The two of you decided to grab some drinks and then go on a late night walk together. You thought the idea was amazing and very peaceful after a long week. "Yes, I'm ready!" You came out in a black dress that suit you perfectly and Hisoka couldn't help but smile. "Oh, love," he walked over to you and grabbed both of your hands. "You look amazing." "Thank you," you said, pressing a kiss onto Hisoka's cheek, leaving a little lipstick mark. "You look amazing too." "Oh, hush." He gave you a playful smack on the arm and you two walked out the door. --- After you two grabbed a quick drink, you decided to walk around a very empty trail. You two talked for hours, just enjoying each other's company and the fresh air you had been craving all week long. You walked until you couldn't feel your legs and all you were doing was laughing and holding Hisoka's hand. "I have an idea," Hisoka said slyly when he spotted a lone lake. "Do you wanna try something?" You gave Hisoka a skeptical look, but took his hand that he outstretched to you. "Sure, why not?" Hisoka ran over to the lake and stripped down, making you blush. "Hisoka, what are you-" You were immediately covered in water as he cannonballed into the lake. He brushed his wet hair out of his eyes and laughed. "Come on, y/n!" You laughed and followed suit, jumping in the water with him. The two of you splashed around for a while and then, when you got too cold, crawled out, wrapping up in your dry clothes. You laid on the cold dirt together with your hands interlocked and looked at the stars. "I love you, Hisoka." "I love you too. Happy Valentine's day." <3

~~~~~

mystery date rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda