#like they specifically want to make it a black woman thing

[man-i-love-fanfiction]

To Share the Space with Simple Living Things - Hozier x Fem!Florist!Reader

Chapter Three: Chrysanthemums - Joy

Summary: You and Andrew meet outside of your workplace for the first time for a completely platonic coffee on him.

Word count: 2385

Author's note: i am so sorry that this took so long 😭 last week of school combined with finals combined with life i guess hindered me from writing. but i'm back on track!!! hopefully you all enjoy and if i don't update again soon happy holidays <3

tag list: @celery-grace @gayandfairycore @deathmybride @harry-bowie-mercury @hodgepodge-musings @blue-eyed-bug @secretttytttttttttt @dinner-n-dxatribes @padfootblackswh0r3 (if you want to be added just let me know!)

fic below the cut <3

This is not a date.

That was your affirmation all of Friday morning, repeating it to yourself.

You muttered it under your breath as you fixed your hair. It was mumbled as you laid out your outfit, specifically chosen to be fashionable but casual: your favorite sweater and a nice pair of jeans. You whispered it before spraying your perfume, a scent you had to dig through your closet for five minutes to find. Ironically, the scent was nothing close to floral. You said it to each of your houseplants as you watered them. They remained unconvinced.

Slipped on your shoes. Locked up your flat. Walked down the stairs. You repeated your mantra every time, because maybe if you said it enough times, it would become true.

By the time you made it to your car, you had said it so many times it felt like breathing. Your hands gripped the wheel. You locked eyes with your reflection in the rearview mirror and whispered your phrase of the morning one more time for good luck.

This. Is. Not. A. Date.

Stepping down on the gas pedal, you began to drive.

On the drive there, you prepared yourself for all possible scenarios. This kind of thinking came naturally — it always did, especially in situations like these. You ran through what your reaction would be if he showed up, what it would be if he didn't. What you would do if he had an insanely complex coffee order, or if he ordered a drink with six shots of espresso. What if he tried to order for you, or if he made some backhanded comment about another woman at the cafe? You doubted he would do any of these things, but you believed it's better to be safe than sorry. This thinking only paused when you parked in front the coffee shop and caught a glimpse of Andrew waiting inside. All of your previous repetition and fretting had made you ten minutes late, a fact you weren't fond of and hoped Andrew wouldn't chastise you for.

The moment you stepped into the coffee shop, all of your previous affirmations were thrown out the window. It wasn't a date. But after seeing Andrew you wished that it was.

It wasn't any particular factor. It wasn't the black denim jacket he was wearing, or the way he'd tied half his hair up, leaving the other half down. It wasn't even the smile on his face, reserved like he wasn't sure how to react properly when he saw you. It was a combination of everything; his presence alone was enough to make you flustered. So flustered that you were very close to forgetting to say anything when you walked up to him. Thankfully, at the last moment, you actually spoke.

“Hey! Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long,” you greeted him with a small smile.

“Oh, no. I just got here, too. You're alright.”

You walked inside together, and you looked around at your new surroundings. It was a small business, quaint and cozy, with framed photos of artworks by local artists; it was exactly what you would imagine a coffee shop that Andrew picked to be.

Because all of your overthinking (or what you preferred to call planning) on the way there, you ordered your coffee with ease. Andrew recited his order, a black americano, a surprise to you. You watched as he paid and gave his name for the order, the barista already recognizing him. He turned his head towards you and offered an explanation:“I’m a regular. I always come here whenever I need a pick-me-up.”

“I’ll have to come here more often, then,” you replied.

You found a small table in the corner and sat down to claim it for the both of you while Andrew stood by the counter, waiting for your coffee. What a gentleman.

You had yet to notice any flaws in him, only making your self-imposed rule of this not being romantic harder to follow. There had to be something about him that was off. There was no way he was so caring and endearing and funny all at the same time; he had to have an imperfection eventually. You didn't find it in the few minutes you watched him stand around, occasionally fiddling with his hands or putting them in his pockets. Your efforts grew even more futile as he walked over with the coffees in hand, setting them down on the table.

He shedded his jacket and carefully placed it on the back of the chair before sitting down in the chair opposite you. This simple action caused the fact that you barely knew Andrew to pop up in your head. Despite how connected to him you felt already, you had only met him twice before. On both occasions he wore long sleeves, so seeing him without a jacket for the first time gave you a much appreciated surprise.

His right arm had an entire sleeve of tattoos.

He had turned his arm into a mural for myths and legends. A portrait of a falling Icarus, wings disintegrating beneath a red sun. A tortured Atlas carrying the weight of the world on his back. Dante and Virgil arm in arm wandering through a circle of hell. Writing in script filled the empty space, seemingly verses from poems. It was all centered around two words placed across his bicep: Noli Timere. You’d be lying if you said it didn't make you even more attracted to him than you already were.

You could've spent hours just looking, analyzing every line of ink. It felt as though you did, though it's much more likely it was only for a few seconds. You were brought back to Earth by the sound of his voice.

“It's rude to stare, y’know?”

There was no real annoyance in his voice, but it caused you to attention like you had been caught. An explanation mumbled its way out of your mouth.

“I’m so sorry, I just- I like your arm. Tattoos. Your arm tattoos. They're…”

Beautiful? Enticing? Very attractive?

“…cool.”

You took a sip of your coffee, finding it the perfect time to cover up your embarrassment, as well as the flushed face that came along with it. Luckily, Andrew didn't notice (or if he did, he didn't mind) and continued the conversation, accepting your compliment with a crooked smile.

“Thanks. I try to put a lot of thought into them, give them some meaning, so they're all based on these stories that are important to me.”

“Makes sense. I’d hate to get a tattoo just to regret it a few years later. Even worse, a few months later.”

“Too many of my clients have had that exact issue. Come in a year after and ask for a coverup. Makes me question my work sometimes.”

“Clients?” You asked with a tilt of your head.

“Oh, right. I never mentioned it.” He paused to take a drink from his cup before continuing. “I’m a tattoo artist. The parlor I work at’s only a few blocks away from your shop, believe it or not.”

“Wow. Small world, I suppose. Maybe I could stop by someday and say hi.”

The boldness of your statement didn't fully process in your brain, and you quickly backtracked.

“If you’d be okay with that, of course.”

“Yes. Absolutely. You can come by whenever I don't have a client.”

“Call me over if anyone gets a tattoo of a flower and I’ll be there to explain everything it means. There is always the very dangerous possibility of someone getting a flower that means jealousy or a rejection.”

He didn’t reply, just flashed a smile, and the silence between you seemed… awkward. Combined with the way he was fidgeting with his hands, it almost made you think he was nervous.

“I’m actually thinking about buying a bouquet to put on the front desk,” he admitted.

“Really?”

“Yeah. A lot of people, they get nervous before their appointment, whether it's their first tattoo or their tenth. Having flowers right when you walk in might ease some of the tension.”

“That's a great idea. I know I’m biased, but flowers do tend to brighten my day."

“Do you have any ideas?”

You bit at your bottom lip as you thought, finally speaking again once you racked your brain for what could work.

“Chrysanthemums are a favorite with customers. Those mean joy and optimism. I could start with those and build from there.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“That's all I’ve got right now, but I’ll see what else I can come up with later. After coffee, I’m much more… insightful.”

As if to prove your point, you took another sip of your coffee, a longer one that left only a quarter of the cup left.

“So… this is official? You're placing an order?”

He nodded.

“If that's how this works, then yes. I’d like to place an order of one chrysanthemum bouquet for the purpose of making my customers happy. Please,” he replied genuinely.

“Your order will be marked down as soon as I get to the shop.”

“Feel free to take your time, by the way. I don't mean to pressure you. It's not like I have a deadline, and I know you probably have a million other things you have to do.”

You considered reaching for him, your fingertips flexing in his direction, but you restrained yourself, choosing words instead.

“You're not pressuring me at all. You made your order. Now you're asking me to do my job. My job that I love, by the way. If anything, I’m thrilled that you're so interested.”

The real question is whether you're more interested in my job or me.

You weren't bold enough to say what you were thinking, but you never had been. You had gotten so used to biting your tongue it was a miracle it was still in your mouth. You spoke again, but selected a much safer option of what to say.

“It's gonna take a few days since there's some orders before yours, but I have your number on file so I’ll call you when I finish it up.”

“I’ll be there. With my wallet, this time around.”

You thought about your proposition before realizing there would be a much more effective, though maybe you just wanted to visit Andrew’s job for a change.

“I mean, you said your place is only a few minutes away, right? I could always deliver it. Gives me an opportunity to get some fresh air during my day. Besides, you're probably much busier than I am, so it might be harder to find the time. Meanwhile, I can deliver it as soon as it's done, and everything works out.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“I know. I want to, though.”

He sighed and shook his head, a reaction you originally feared was out of annoyance, but you felt a small amount of relief when you noticed the smile that accompanied it.

“You need to stop doing nice things for me. Otherwise I’ll go bankrupt from buying you so much coffee to compensate.”

“I also accept gratitude payment in compliments, thank-you-cards, and checks.”

“What about credit cards?”

“Ooo, sorry. Compliments, thank-you-cards, and checks are your options.”

He chuckled, a deeper and richer laugh than before.

“Fine. You want a compliment? You're incredibly kind for doing all of this for me, and I sincerely appreciate it. Thank you.”

Another sip from your cup to hide the flush of your cheeks, though no amount of caffeine could calm the butterflies in your stomach.

“That covers your gratitude payment for now. I still need real money, of course,” you muttered. “And you're not getting your way out of it this time.”

“I would never. You can't pull the same con on the same person twice.”

“Oh, so it was a con? Did those flowers even go to your mother?”

“Nope. Underground flower smuggling ring.”

“Ah, I should've guessed. Tell your flower-loving crime boss that I’m thankful for all that you've done for me, but I unfortunately need to get going, because it's 9:30 and the shop opens at 10.”

Andrew complied. You two wrapped it up, and he put his jacket back on, covering up his tattoos much to your dismay. Your coffee cup, now empty, was discarded by the door.

“Thank you so much. For the coffee, for the company. Everything. Especially for the coffee, though, considering you barely even drank yours,” you commented, pointing at the half-full cup still in his hand.

“You’re welcome. And trust me, I was going to drink it, but I found myself much more engrossed in the conversation.”

Andrew grabbed the door and held it open for you, and you walked past him and thanked him. Both of you stood on the sidewalk in front of the coffee shop, unsure of how (or if you even wanted) to say goodbye.

“This is where we must part ways,” he said with a sigh.

“You say that like we're never going to see each other again.”

“A lot can happen in a few days, Y/N. You have no idea what the universe has up her sleeve.”

“Do you have some kind of knowledge about an apocalypse that I don't? Because when it comes to that kind of stuff, sharing is caring.”

“Just… prepping for the future, I suppose. If there is no apocalypse, I’ll see you when my bouquet’s finished.”

“I’ll see you then. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

You walked to your car, only a few footsteps away, the smile slowly fading from your face as he walked in the opposite direction. You sneaked a glance over your shoulder at him before opening the car door.

Sitting down in the driver's seat, you took a deep breath to bring yourself back to reality. Your mantra had been proven right: that was not a date. It just felt like one. A very successful one at that. He was a gentleman, listened to what you had to say, gave you a compliment, and you even set up an incentive to meet again. This not-a-date went better than most of your actual dates, and it was with a guy who, to your knowledge, had no romantic interest in you.

You were totally and utterly screwed.

[worldbeyondtheworld]

AU in which the Voices accidentally get separated from the Long Quiet. He and the Princess escape into the larger than canon construct, which here is a living place.

The Narrator sends them into the woods where the two are hiding and tells them the story that "the Hero was cursed into a beast, and you are here to guide him out and save him". The Long Quiet is still the same as canon and was never human, but that's difficult to sell in a location where everybody else is human and has bias.

The Voices also look like or similar to him, so the Narrator disguises and hides their appearance by shaping them with cloaks, helmets, armor, clothes, etc.

Original post plus reblog with more information here:

https://www.tumblr.com/worldbeyondtheworld/770387804645621760

I don't even have a name yet, or many ideas how the mechanics of the AU would work, or if it's a offshot from canon / something else, or the story, or the narrative structure.

I already have several scenarios and scenes haunting my mind:

--

Spectre makes an appearance to misdirect the adventurers / Voices. She looks alive to them, sticks her tongue out, runs behind a tree, and vanishes. As they look for her to no avail, a ghostly hand emerges from the tree and removes some of their blades from their belts. (Short blades just feel right, you know?)

The Voices only notice when they come upon a barrier of brambles between them and their goal, and find they have less blades to cut through than they thought.

--

Voice of the Hero loses his shit entirely at some point and tries to kill the other Voices in a panicking frenzy. He's scarily strong like this, stronger than even Smitten or Stubborn.

--

Voice of the Cheated leaps into the air from the excitement of getting wings. He doesn't have experience in using them yet. Before he can crash into anything, TLQ catches him in his palms. He shows him how to glide down, and Cheated lands safely.

--

(Version of the) Princess encounters all of the Voices without their disguises. She has a crisis because they all look like TLQ.

What's she supposed to do, surrounded by 12 of such attractive beings??? She gets so, so flustered, which flusters some of them in return.

--

TLQ for some reason is the one standing on the Princess' shoulders instead of the other way round to reach some fruit. And no, it's not Adversary/Adversary-adjacent. Both are puzzled when questioned why they are doing it like this.

(Warning for canon-typical topics under the cut. It's also long.)

--

Nobody can ever agree on what creature TLQ is supposed to be.

Things people have thought he is include: A giant bird (opinions differ on which bird, too), a black phoenix, an omen made manifest, a winged bear, a harpy, a gryphon, a dragon...

The Narrator: (Lie, because TLQ isn't cursed, but also genuinely annoyed) "What does it matter what he was cursed into?"

--

The Princess, craving comfort for herself and him, watches for wagons going through (but close to the edge of) or close by the woods. Whenever she can, she sneaks close and takes some food and drink.

Sometimes, people going through gift her things, perceiving her only to be a young woman living a difficult life. Which is true. After some bad experiences, she hides herself in a tattered cloak so people won't connect her to the idea of a princess or recognize her face from the Wanted Posters.

The woods are big, but still finite. She acts all over at different places, close to where bandits sometimes hide, to hide her traces. Nobody is supposed to find their shelters.

The next set of wagons is more heavily guarded. She's been miserable, no matter how much TLQ has been trying to comfort her, so she risks it. If only for the the thrill and distraction it provides. Usually in the routes, she's discovered and always flees without being seen properly.

At the start of a set of specific routes, some of the Voices are present. Hunted notices her and alerts the guards who circle her. She leaps and jumps across them, back into the safety between the trees, but losing her cloak - it was grabbed - and revealing her appearance as well as that she has some kind of supernatural agility. Hunted uses the scent from her cloak to track her down.

--

"Um."

He now understood what his companion meant. He stared up, and up, and UP at the Hero. His shoulders tucked in under his unwavering stare. It was so dark he couldn't see his face - only the white of his eyes - to gauge his reactions.

"You're taller than I imagined." That was what came out of his mouth??

"Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment."

????? Why did the Hero's voice sound like that of his companion???

--

All of the Voices feel drawn to the Princess, although they might not notice depending on her shape and the circumstances.

All of the Voices also feel drawn to the TLQ, in a different way, although they might not notice.

--

Several scenarios have outside groups interferring because of their own agenda and beliefs, but always because of something the Voices did.

In one, several people agitated by fearmongering, set trees and shrubbery on fire at various edges of the woods. Soon, the entire forest is burning. Depending on their actions, the Voices die alone, together, with the Princess and TLQ, in fear or in peace, or TLQ somehow throws them + Princess over the fire to safety.

In another, specific Voices can betray the location of the Princess and TLQ to some shady mercenaries to get some help. They might believe that he's under her thrall and needs to be escorted out. Or it's for power and safety. Or they want an escort for her safety.

The mercenaries lie in ambush - but not to do any of these things. No. While their exact motivations might differ, they capture TLQ for his powers, and abuse him because they don't care about him. They'd have done the same to the her if she didn't escape. No matter what choices they made before, or what they believe, the Voices as well as the Narrator feel horrible about what they've done, and what could've happened to the Princess on top of everything else.

Every iteration, the Den appears in rage before anybody can step out of the woods. She DOES not appreciate the betrayal and the abuse of her first and closest friend and companion.

--

At least one route is there where all Voices appear and they watch in horror at what is happening to TLQ because of them / because they couldn't stop what was happening. It could be in the above scenario.

It could be another capture scenario, only with the context that the Voices intended to capture TLQ to 'heal' him or make sure he cannot hurt anybody. He's simply too powerful. People murmur around them. They're sitting down to eat, morose, after his cries and bellows quiet, and they get handed soup with a strange flavor. Voice of the Cheated finds a black feather in his bowl after some bites and has an impending feeling of dread. Upon demand where the meat comes from, the cook laughs and says that they butchered the bird. Did you know that you can gain this bird's immense powers if you consume part of its flesh?

Scrambling, the Voices run for the cage, only to find it empty. There's blood everywhere- and there. At the edge of the camp is a stake. And on top of that stake sits a head.

Or a mob descends onto TLQ, and when they try to defend him, they get knocked down and tied up. They watch as he, miserable, is treated as nothing more than a beast as weapons are raised. They kill him. The same weapons get turned on them because they dared to defend this creature and the Princess, and they're monsters under their cloaks, too.

--

The Princess strangles the Voice of the Opportunist. She got almost killed and TLQ is in a cage being tortured, and Is This What You Wanted?? He was so kind to you, so considerate, and this is how you repay him??? For what, power, when everybody else will know what a backstabber you are, and do their best to topple you?

Opportunist is unable to even raise his hands to try save himself. He knows that he fucked up. He knows this is his fault. He cannot pretend that TLQ or the Princess deserve this. He didn't want this, but his wants don't matter in the face of the consequences.

And she's right. Nobody is in power forever. He can feel the ire and envy directed at him by others. He's witnessed others like him. They outnumber him, because none of the Voices will help him.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Seeing the black women aren’t women because white supremacy doesn’t view us as women takes circulating on social media again. I’m just going to say this

White supremacy doesn’t view black people as human either. It views us as monkeys and animals. So should the black community include monkeys as well?

Why does white supremacy dictate black peoples identity to this extreme? Even other nations in Africa that were colonized by white people don’t view themselves this way.

Why do black men get to keep their manhood but black women’s womanhood is stripped? White supremacy emasculates black men too, so why are black men still viewed as men?

Picking and choosing white supremacy rhetoric to fit your viewpoints is not going to turn out well for you.

I feel like this needs to be said for some black women, but attraction≠womanhood. Just because a white person isn’t attracted to you, doesn’t mean you’re less of a woman.

Just because YOU don’t feel like a woman because of white people, doesn’t mean you need to make other black women as genderless or masculine as you.

[secondpersonpoetry]

you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one! 

oh. oh.

​

[stephantom]

what didn't you like about it, out of curiousity?

Hmm I’m gonna have to think on it it some more and come back to you when I’ve managed to articulate something

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[prickly-paprikash]

Kendrick doesn't just hate Drake as a person. He hates the very idea of Drake.

Hip-Hop is rooted in revolution. In defiance. These are the songs of an oppressed group of people, and decades upon decades people have hated it. Accused of being meaningless and invalid. Media outlets took steps to belittle hip-hop and make sure it isn't recognized as an art form and as a means to fight back.

2Pac spoke of wealth disparity and inequality. Tupac was literally a member of a communist organization when he was younger and never stopped speaking against capitalism.

Lauryn Hill spoke of the struggles a woman faces. Not just women, but black women. Salt-N-Peppa. Queen Latifah. MISSY FUCKING ELLIOT.

N.W.A made sure people knew about police brutality and violence against the Black community.

And now, in this day and age, we're also experiencing an explosion of Queer Hip-Hop. Lil Nas X is at the forefront of this. Lil Uzi Vert came out as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, even when they knew that a lot of their fans would never use it or even respect them for it. Auntie Diaries, a song about a young man who grew up in a transphobic environment and bought into those beliefs, but could never fully do it because his Uncle loved him so much and taught him a lot of life lessons, and that wisdom translated to him accepting his cousin as a woman as well.

Drake is none of that.

He's the perfect representation of what people think hip-hop is. Flexing. Posturing. Objectifying women. A fucker so insecure he bought 2Pac's ring just to feel like he's part of the black community. Rejected by Rihanna publicly. Tried to groom Millie Bobby Brown. Kissed and inappropriately touched an underage girl during his concert. His songs have inspired so many young boys to treat girls like shit. His belief that the amount of rings and chains and cars he has is the true meaning of success.

Additional Edit: This is my fault. If this post gains more views, then it would be remiss of me not to add to this. It was my fault to begin with, not stating this beforehand because while I did know, I got lost in celebrating Hip-Hop in a place that doesn't usually do so, and rightfully so.

2Pac did fight for wealth equality and better social living for the black community. He also has a long, long history of battery, domestic abuse, and sexual harassment against women. Specifically against women of color. He made a song to celebrate his own mother, but outright refused to give the same show of respect to other women in his life. His hypocritical nature was brushed off in later decades, just the way I did now.

N.W.A is the same. Sexual assault charges, violence—they spoke of Police reform, but refuses to give the same treatment back towards the women in their lives.

50 cent refuses to backtrack on any of his misogynistic lyrics.

Modern rappers of today, such as the dead XXXtentacion. 6ix9ine. Kodak Black.

I do love Hip-Hop. I love rap. And the music itself has always been anti-authoritarian at its core, because those are its roots. And I was happy that circles that did not normally know of it or enjoy it were getting into it, even for one thing like this rap feud.

Lil Nas X, Little Simz, Childish Gambino, Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Lauryn Hill—rappers who have at the very least consistently tried to put their money where their mouth is. Who have tried to act in accordance to what they rap and write and sing for.

@shehungthemoon @ohsugarsims finnthehumanmp3 were the ones who rightfully clarified in the comments. I know an apology won't correct my hypocrisy or my stupidity. I should have added all of this before making this post, but I wanted so badly to celebrate a genre of music but failed to do my due diligence in showing a better, holistic view of it. If anyone felt triggered, offended, troubled, frustrated or any other intense negative emotions surrounding this, please do block me. I'm sorry.

[homunculus-argument]

I may be swinging a fruit bat in a room full of hornet's nests here, but do americans know that most of the world doesn't look the way the US does? Like, specifically concerning ethnic diversity.

Coming from Europe, the fist time I went to the US, I was shocked by it, not in a negative way but in the same "wow, that's a real thing?" sort of way as western people finding out that there actually are that kind of pillar mountains in China, or americans who had never seen Fjord Horses in anything but the movie Frozen finding out that those fantastical yellow ponies are actually real.

And it wasn't some "backcountry rural hick sees Different Colour Person for the first time and dies of shock" sort of a thing. I had travelled before, and at 19 I considered myself quite worldly enough to go to a different continent I had never been on to go meet up a man from the internet, all by myself. I had been all over Europe from Iceland to St. Petersburg and from Norway to France, I have travelled. It was a slow realisation that it's turtles all the way down, that actually got me.

Being in an airport, going from one airport to another, I wasn't surprised by the sheer range of different kinds of people I saw. Airports just look like that, all over the world. Taking one flight after another, I didn't pay much attention to that, because airports just look like that. The "wait, holy shit" didn't hit me until I was already in rural Kentucky, in a fucking Wal-Mart. And if you're an american and the thought of a late teens nordic kid stepping foot into a Wal-Mart for the frist time and thinking "wow, this is actually what America looks like, all the time" makes you want to get defensive, it was by no means a negative feeling.

It was like looking into a bag of M&Ms. That's the only way I could describe it. Every single fucking person, group or family that I saw was apparently different colour and creed than the last ones who passed by. I had never seen black women with styled hair before because in Finland almost every single black woman you see is muslim and their hair is covered. I was used to the concept of large cities being more diverse, in FInland larger cities are the places where you're most likely to see people who aren't white. And I was stunned by just how colourful the population was in goddamn Beaver Dam, Kentucky.

I'm not trying to make any kind of a political point here. I'm just talking from my own experience as a Chronically Online European who has actually been abroad: City streets that look the way they do in the US are completely foreign to most people who are not american. And every time you people start complaining about why a game that's set in Poland, made by polish creators who have never been outside of Poland, only has polish people in it, they genuinely do not know what the hell you're talking about.

[yieldtotemptation]

REPUTATION ft. Minji

minji x male reader smut

9k words

“So, you’re the one,” Minji says, an accusation to make you look up from your drink. “The one they warned us about.”

Firstly, you didn’t plan for this (you never do).

The night began, as always, with the best intentions. You promised your manager that you would follow his instructions to the letter: show face, smile for the cameras, and then slip out before the real party kicks in and you find yourself knee deep in scandal. Again.

And (if you were extra good) you would end the night by scrolling through the greatest hits on your contacts list, looking for a fellow insomniac needing to past the time, needing a bed to share.

A normal, everyday kind of night.

But yet, here you are now: cornered by the girl on everyone’s playlist, all fierce determination and pouty lips wrapped up in a tight black dress.

She doesn’t bother with an introduction—no, that would be silly—instead she just stands there, looking pretty, expecting your full attention.

You quirk an eyebrow. “I require a warning?”

There’s a smile there, just a hint, playing at the edges of Minji’s mouth, like she’s in on a secret that you’re not privy to. “Beware of male seniors. Specifically,” she adds, tilting her head to the side, raising her hand, peeling one finger off the drink she’s holding so she can point a single glossy nail at “you.”

“Hm,” is all you have to say, playing coy, like this is all news to you. Like you’re not aware of your own reputation, of the things you’ve been accused of, the things your company has scrambled to cover-up, the things you’ve actually done.

“So,” she says, so carefree, so easily charming. It’s all an act, of course, a meticulously curated ‘cool girl’ image, something well-rehearsed and played a thousand times before on a thousand lesser men, a tightrope walk between relatable and unattainable. “Should I be worried?”

You know what she’s really asking for: an assessment. Do you find me attractive? Do I tempt you? Am I the type of girl worth risking your career over?

And so, you take her invitation and do the one thing that always gets you in trouble. You look. Look at her legs, long and toned and smooth, begging to be wrapped around your waist. Look at her thighs, creamy-white and barely covered by the hem of her dress. Look at her chest, the soft swell rising and falling with every breath, her collarbone glittering with the sweat of excitement.

Look higher—at how effortlessly perfect she looks, as if she wakes up every day looking like the ideal type of every man and woman in Korea. Oh, there’s make-up, it’s subtle but it’s there, playing up her best features: the height of her cheekbones, the almond curve of her eyes, the fullness of her lips.

She’s so undeniably, obviously gorgeous: a bombshell wrapped in the guise of a girl-next-door.

It’s no wonder she’s so fucking popular.

You give her a non-answer, “Depends what they’ve been saying about me.”

Minji takes a sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving yours, her full pink lips curling around the straw as she sucks in the sugary liquid. It’s a deliberate move, so casually erotic—borderline pornographic, in fact—designed to make you want to grab her and kiss her and prove everything they’ve been saying about you right.

But she’s busy assessing you, you can tell, trying to reconcile the rumours with the reality—Can you really make a girl like her lose control? Make her beg? Make her forget about her image, her obligations, her entire life outside of your cock?

“Word gets around HYBE quick.” Minji’s eyes narrow just a smidge, she’s biting down into her bottom lip, and it has you imagining all sorts of things you’d rather she was doing with her mouth. “The girls at SM can’t stop talking about you. The guys at JYP hate your guts, so that says a lot.”  She smiles at that last point, before listing off, “fuckboy, heartbreaker, group-wrecker, industry villain.”

It’s funny, hearing your dirty laundry aired out like that, and you can only shrug, give a casual smile as if to say ‘who, me?’. It’s admittedly a practiced move, one you’ve used to get out of sticky situations before (you may have even used it as an ending pose once). “Is that what they told you?” You ask, nodding in the direction behind her.

Minji follows your gaze, glancing over her shoulder, the wall of noise and flashing lights of the club framing her face, painting her skin with a rainbow of neon shadows.

There’s her bandmates, doing a terrible job of spying, a trio of worry and concern and gossip: they’ve found their little bunny, and she’s been caught speaking to the big, bad wolf.

She muses, “we’ve all heard the same rumours…”

“And so you came to… what?”

Minji takes a step closer, close enough for you to get a whiff of her drink; one of those sugary mixes, deceptively sweet, but just as strong as the one in your own hand. “To find out for myself,” she answers, “to see if you’re really as bad as everyone says, to see if it's all hype, or if there’s actually some truth to the legend.”

“Legend,” you repeat, trying the word out on your own tongue (it sounds sweeter on hers). “That sounds a bit much, don't you think?” you ask, trying to ignore the way she’s leaning forward now, letting the top of her dress dip, revealing just enough cleavage to stimulate your imagination. A simple gesture, so perfectly choreographed that you'd think it was incidental if you didn't know better, if it didn't have you picturing what it would be like to rip that dress off her, to expose her bare tits, to grab, lick, kiss, and—

She’s giggling out loud now, like she can hear every single filthy thought racing through your mind. “I think I'd like to be the judge of that.”

There’s an alarm bell going off in your pocket, the vibration of your phone buzzing with messages—who else but your manager, demanding to know why you haven't gone home like a good little idol yet, begging you to please, please not make another mess.

But you ignore it and take another sip of your drink, savouring the burn of the cold liquor down your throat, giving you a moment to consider. You’ve got Minji figured out, you think. It's nothing you haven't seen before (nothing you haven't dealt with before). The dream girl, the ‘ideal type’ who’s growing tired of maintaining a perfect image, looking to see how far she can push, how much she can get away with (how much you’ll let her get away with).

Because she’s probably never been told no in her life. Because she's used to getting what she wants with a bat of those lashes or a pout of those lips.

In a way, coming to you is safe, because if the worst were to happen—if you were to get caught—no one for a second would believe that one of the nation's precious daughters was the instigator.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, cutting through the din of the club like a knife, making you believe that she just might be telepathic. “You're thinking: she’s just another innocent idol playing at being naughty for just the night, but the second things get too wild, she’ll be out of here faster than you can say ‘Dispatch’.”

“Because you’re not like other girls.”

“Please,” she scoffs, dismissing the idea entirely. “I always see things to the end.”

“Alright then,” you say. She’s thrown down the gauntlet, and you’re going to pick it up, if for nothing else than to see just how far she’ll go. "Shall we do this here? I'll rip off your clothes, nail you in the middle of the dancefloor in front of all our friends and peers?"

She’s grinning now, not backing down, in fact she’s moving closer, like yes, that’s exactly what I was hoping for. “From what I’ve heard that would be tame for you. Is it true, what you got up to at Inkigayo?”

“That was in a parking lot.”

“And at M Coundown.”

"Under the stage.”

“Music Bank?”

“The staircase, of course.”

“See,” Minji’s whispering now, close enough that you can hear her over the thumping bass of the music, her breath warm against your ear, “you are a man-whore.”

“I have a name,” you reply, dryly.

“That’s nice.” She’s touching you now, her hand sliding up your chest, fingers playing with the buttons of your shirt. “Wanna hear me scream it?”

Your phone is still buzzing, and you know that you should be walking away. It would be the right thing to do: it’s far too public, she’s far too popular, and getting caught leaving hand in hand with her would be nothing short of an announcement that will hit the top of every social media platform by sunrise.

But it’s too late—it was over the second you locked eyes with her from across the dancefloor, when she caught you staring, blatant and unabashed, lingering on the way her ass bounced, mesmerised by how her hips swayed to the beat. 

You just had to let her know she was wanted.

"Look," Minji says, her hands sliding higher now, fingers idly adjusting the collar of your shirt. "There's no angle here, no game. I'm not looking to get caught or land in a scandal, and I'm definitely not looking for love or a boyfriend or whatever fairy tale shit you sing about. I just want what all the other pretty idols are getting."

She's forward, no shame in saying exactly what she wants, daring you to dispute it, but all you can do is cock your head to the side, and flash a smirk of your own. "And what makes you think you're my type?"

Minji laughs, her teeth glinting in the neon lights—you both know it's a very, very idiotic question. "Please," she says, rolling her eyes, "I'm everyone's type."

Another glance over her shoulder, where her bandmates have been pretending not to hover, and now there’s a new face in the mix: Yunjin. Her eyes narrowed to slits, her arms folded, and her jaw is clenched so tight you can almost hear her teeth grinding from here. Unlike the other three, she’s not playing the concerned friend card; she’s the pissed off mother bear, ready to pull Minji away from the walking, talking red flag.

And so adds to your stellar reputation.

Minji notices your eyes flicker in that direction, and looking back at the group with amusement, she takes it as the cue she's been waiting for. "We better get out of here before they take your head off."

It's inevitable, really, this is how it always ends up: the sweet, innocent idol lured into the jaws of the industry monster. But you can’t help it, not when she’s looking at you like that, like she wants to be eaten alive.

You know the score, you’ve danced this dance before, and you’ve got a role to play. The only thing left to do is to take her hand and lead her out of the chaos—through the throngs of familiar faces, not giving them a chance to register what you're doing, or who you're with, or what's about to occur, again.

Not like anyone could stop it now, anyway.

"So, this is how it happens," you hear Minji murmur as you lead her out of the club, through a hidden metal door, and into the cold, night air.

-

Minji tastes like gin and lime cordial, her lips sticky and sweet against yours, her arms around your neck, her back pressed up against the back-alley wall. There’s something in the way she’s kissing you—giggling between breaths—like she can’t believe this is happening, like she’s getting away with the crime of the century.

Her hands are in your hair now, tugging gently, the cool metal of her rings pressing into your scalp, begging you to kiss her harder, to burn the memory of your lips onto hers. Your tongues meet in a dance that’s more battle than ballet, and she’s matching you move for move, her teeth nipping at your bottom lip, her nails scraping down your neck.

She’s eager, she’s pressing her chest against yours, making you feel just how hot she is. But yet, there’s still that annoying voice in your head, the last shreds of your conscience, telling you to give her that final out, to let her walk away with her dignity intact, go back to her members and tell them she just had to get some fresh air.

So, you pull back, tearing your mouth away from hers, giving her room to gasp for air, to let the world come back into focus, and you ask her, loud and clear, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Minji’s panting, breaths coming in short gasps, little puffs of steam out into the winter air, and she smiles. It’s a wicked little grin, equal parts surprised and thrilled, like you’ve just passed some kind of test she didn’t think you knew existed. “Are you asking for my consent?”

You balk at that. Your reputation can't be that bad. “Is it so unbelievable that I'd ask?” Even though you already know, deep down, she’s not going anywhere, there’s a power in hearing her say it. Saying that she wants you, specifically, to ruin her.

“No, it’s just…” Minji starts, looking up with those big, dark eyes, and you can almost see the gears turning in her head, trying to figure out how to play this, before ultimately landing on the word, “nice.”

She pulls you back towards her, kissing you again, those soft, pillowy lips of hers meeting your mouth in a kiss that’s so inappropriately sweet, like she’s sealing a deal with sugar rather than ink.

“Yeah,” she whispers, her voice steady, sure. “I want to do this. More than anything.” Minji tilts her head back, exposing the column of her throat, inviting you to kiss it, to suck, to bite. “I want you."

You don’t need any more convincing than that. Your hands are on her body, running over the curves of her hips, the dip of her waist, the swell of her chest. And she’s leaning into your touch, needing to feel more of you, wanting you to explore her. And you do, greedily, feeling her breath hitch when you graze her nipples through the fabric, feel her hips jerk when you trace the line of her panties.

“Are we going to—gah—go back to your place?” Minji tries to ask, her question punctuated by a moan as your fingertips dance over the smooth skin of her inner thigh, the hem of her dress whispering against your skin.

You’ve already made your decision—you're not taking her home, you're not taking her anywhere with a bed, or even a chair. You're going to have her right here, right now. There’s no need to answer her, you just let her work it out for herself when you push her back against the wall, when your thumb finds the slick, wet heat between her legs.

“Here?” She gasps, turning to look down the darkened end of the alleyway, at the distant streetlights, at the crowds of people oblivious to what’s about to happen beneath the shadows.

“It’s not the dancefloor, but it’ll have to do,” you murmur, leaning into her, pressing your lips against her cheek, her jaw, her earlobe.

“B-but, what if—” Minji stammers, but you’re busy toying with the lace of her panties, nothing more than a mere formality at this point, only existing to get wetter, to be unavoidably ruined by you.

“What if someone finds us?” You finish her question, nibbling at her ear. “Then we’ll just have to make sure we leave them something to talk about, won’t we?”

She’s shivering at the thought of it—the headlines, the think pieces, the whispered scandals that will follow you both for weeks, maybe months, maybe forever. But you can feel her resolve hardening, her spine straightening, her body arching towards yours, and she replies, “Then don’t hold back.”

The challenge is clear: she’s embracing the thrill of the forbidden, the rush of potential disaster, the heady feeling of need overshadowing the fear of getting caught.

You don’t disappoint. Your fingers slip under the soaked lace, and she’s sensitive, so, so sensitive. She’s staining your fingers, needing only the smallest amount of pressure to garner a reaction. You tease her, drag your finger across her tender folds, dare to skim over her clit, torture her with anticipation.

Whatever concerns she has evaporates as you kiss down to her collarbone—you’re going to leave a mark—and she’s already asking for more, “Please.”

She’s whining, parting her legs, desperate for you to do more than just touch her, needing you to rip through her panties and take her.

“You're right—I don’t care,” she sighs into the wind, handing her fate over to you. “I need you. Now.”

That's all you need to hear, everything you've ever wanted to hear someone as seemingly untouchable as Minji say to you. You pull down her panties, needing an extra tug as her slickness sticks them to her thighs—she’s so fucking wet for you—and you draw a circle around her entrance with your finger.

“Right there,” she cries. She’s much more honest when she’s desperate—gone is the posturing, the taunting, the act—she’s just a girl who needs to feel something real. So, you give it to her—push your finger inside, gliding in smoothly, a perfect fit around your digit.

Only knuckle deep but she’s already got you like a vice, squeezing around your finger like she’s trying to keep it captive—so wet, so tight, so fucking good. Her nails dig into your shoulders as you push in another finger, stretching her just enough to make her gasp, just enough to make her fulfill her promise to cry out your name, “Fuck—!”

Her pulse is racing like a runaway train, hammering against your lips—you’re pushing both fingers all the way inside her now, sawing them in and out of her, making her groan, making her repeat your name over and over again.

You’re in her ear, “you’ve got to be quiet, Minji.”

But she’s not having it. “Make me,” she laughs, daring you, another challenge she’s putting down.

You kiss her hard, replacing the laughter in her mouth with your tongue, muffling her cries as you fuck her with your hand, you’re going to ruin her now. You curl your fingers up to hit that spot that makes her toes curl in her sky-high heels, making her gasp, her head thunking back against the wall.

She’s trying, she really is, to keep it in, but she still needs you to keep her standing, to hold her up as your fingers delve deeper; to keep her from melting into a puddle all over your hand.

Still, you’re relentless, feeling her out, learning her rhythm, her reactions, the spots that make her sigh and fall apart. You know you’ve found it when her breaths turn harsh and ragged, and she’s rolling her hips against your hand, and there’s that noise—the sweet, slick sound of her pussy swallowing your fingers whole—and she’s whining into your mouth, “This feels so—”

“Hot,” you finish for her, watching as her cheeks flush a delicious shade of pink, her pupils blown wide, those angelic features of hers contorting with every thrust of your fingers. “You’re so fucking hot, Minji.”

And she is, she’s hot, she’s so hot around you, against you, her hips bucking at the praise, and she whimpers, your name a staccato prayer on her lips. “More,” she demands, but she’s tripping over her words—“more—please—how does it feel so—”

“I’m going to make you cum now, Minji,” you state, your voice low and sure, your fingers continuing their persistent rhythm inside her. She nods, panting against your neck. “And after that, I’m going to fuck you and make you cum all over again. Until you can’t walk straight. Until you forget every other name but mine. Do you understand?”

Her eyes flutter closed, and she nods again, a whine escaping her throat, and she’s biting her lip so hard it’s going to bruise—another mark she won’t be able to explain tomorrow.

You lean in closer, whispering, “Good girl.”

You’re finger-fucking her in earnest now, her body moving in sync with your hand, the alleyway walls echoing with the slap of skin and the wet sounds of your digits plunging into her, your knuckles smacking against her clit. She’s trying to keep it together, trying not to scream out loud, her eyes squeezed shut tight as if that could hold back the orgasm that’s barrelling down on her.

Her breaths are coming out in little pants, and you know she’s close, so close, she’s nearly crying. “Just your fingers—fuck—it’s just your fingers,” she’s repeating it in disbelief, like it shouldn’t feel this good, not yet, like she needs the mantra to keep herself grounded as your hand lights up every nerve in her body.

She’s there, right on the edge, only needing that extra push, that pressure in just the right place, just waiting for your word to send her spiralling over. “Cum for me now, Minji.”

And that’s all it takes.

You hold her steady, fuck her hard with your fingers, rub at her clit, and she’s clenching down, all tiny shakes and choked gasps, her eyes snapping open and then squeezing shut as she reaches the precipice.

"God—fuck—I can't—"

It hits her hard and fast and all at once—her whole body seizing around your hand, her cunt tightening, her hips thrusting forward, needing more friction. Her mouth opens wide, but you trap her lips before she can make a sound, kissing her fiercely, tasting the sweetness of her release on her tongue, feeling the tremors of her orgasm travel from her core to the tips of your fingers.

Her hands are all over you, her nails digging into your shoulders, leaving little half-moons in your skin as she clutches you closer, her tongue dancing with yours as if her life depends on it. You keep going, not letting up until she’s fully ridden the wave, and it’s a sight to behold—Minji coming apart against a dirty alley wall, her legs trembling like they might give out at any second.

When she does finally go still, when her breathing starts to even out, you break the kiss, pulling away to look into her eyes, searching for the usual signs of regret or embarrassment that often follow these kinds of moments. But she’s looking at you with something else entirely: a mix of awe and excitement, like she’s just experienced something she never knew existed.

“You okay?” You murmur, the question more of a formality than anything, because she looks absolutely anything but okay. She looks fucking amazing, a breathless, boneless mess against the wall, her chest rising and falling rapidly with every inhale.

Her eyes are still glazed over, wide and dark, her mouth slack and swollen from your kisses. You can see her trying to process what just happened, the reality of it all, but she’s still too lost in the aftermath of her orgasm to form coherent thoughts.

“Yeah,” she breathes out finally, nodding shakily. “I’m—yeah, I’m good.”

You withdraw your hand, giving her pussy one last gentle squeeze before pulling away, and she whines, a high-pitched noise that makes you twitch.

She’s flushed, her hair a mess from your hands, her lipstick smudged, her dress hiked up around her waist, panties around her ankles. The way she’s looking at you now, it's worship, like you're a secret that she’s just discovered and is desperate to keep to herself. “I fucking knew it,” she says. “The rumours were true.”

You smirk, wiping your hand on the side of your pants, watching her struggle to stand straight. “Ready for round two?”

Her gaze flicks downwards, to the bulge in your pants, and she nods, swallows hard. “Yeah, I—fuck yes.”

There’s no hesitation now, no pretending she doesn’t know what she’s signed up for. She’s all in, and you want her, here, now, because that’s what you do—you take what you want.

You kiss her again, deep and greedy, one hand on the wall behind her head, the other gripping her tight, keeping her in place as you grind against her, letting her feel the hardness of your cock, everything she’s been waiting for.

“Please, don’t stop,” she pleads, and you don’t—you can’t.

Not now, when she’s letting you tug down on her dress, letting it pool around her ankles like a discarded secret. She’s a vision, standing in the cold, stark alley in just her heels and her underwear—and there’s her tits, perky and perfect, begging to be touched.

You don’t even bother with the bra, you just yank it down, the straps snapping and the fabric falling away to reveal her nipples—pink and stiff and so fucking tempting. You can’t help yourself, they’re practically calling for you to taste them, so you draw one into your mouth, feeling her gasp against your ear, her hand sliding into your hair, holding you against her chest.

Her skin is hot against your tongue, and you suck, and bite, and lick until she’s whimpering, until she’s pushing herself into your lips. Your hand is exploring the rest of her naked body—running down her stomach, tracing the lines of her abs, feeling her stomach muscles clench with every breath she takes. She’s so tight, so toned—it’s like you’re touching a sculpture, or a personal playground made just for you.

“Oh my God,” she whimpers, “so good, so, so good, how does it feel—?”

Her words cut off as your teeth graze her nipple—she’s so reactive to every touch, and it has you wondering—has she ever been touched like this before? Has her body every truly been explored like this, pushed to these heights?

“You want more?” You murmur into her chest, your fingers returning to her wet folds, your thumb reintroducing itself to her clit.

“Your cock,” she says, sucking a harsh breath through her teeth. “I want it, I need it—please—I’m ready for it.” It’s that word—please—how it rolls off her tongue, the desperation in it, how it makes her sound so needy and vulnerable.

“Then take it,” you command, breaking away from her chest, stepping backwards to give her room to do exactly what she's been begging for.

Minji doesn’t miss a beat, hands gentle but determined, her fingers at your belt, fumbling with the buckle, loosening the zipper. She’s hungry for it, for this moment of truth, to verify for herself—what’s been talked about in whispers and rumours, what’s been taunting her all evening.

Your pants hit the ground, and she’s staring at your cock with wide eyes, and for a second you can almost see the doubt creeping in. But she swallows it down, and with a soft grip, wraps her small hand around you, stroking you from base to tip.

“So this is it,” she says, taking the full measure of your length, her thumb smearing the pre-cum over your head. “This is the cock that ruins idols. They said it splits women in half.”

You chuckle, but she’s completely ignoring you, well, ignoring all parts of you that isn’t your cock. Her hand is tentative at first, working its way up and down, feeling you grow harder by the second in her palm. You can feel her wonder, her excitement, a hunger matched only by the ache in your cock.

It's the way she’s not saying anything, just touching, feeling. Not that you mind the quiet—it's intimate, just the two of you, the sound of her breaths, your heart beating in your ears, and the distant thump of the world you left behind.

She’s gaining confidence now, her strokes more deliberate, a smug smile gracing her lips as she watches how you react to her touch. You bite back a groan, not wanting to give away how much she’s getting to you, but fuck, she’s getting good at this. She’s clearly learning on the job, eyes keen to see just how you like it—how fast, how tight—how to make you fall apart in her hands.

It’s time to reign her in, you’re heading into deeper waters now. You grasp her wrist, stopping her, ignoring her pouts and whines. “Not yet,” you say, “I’m going to split you in half with my cock now.”

That makes her grin. She does this thing, this cute little twirl, spinning around on her heels to face the wall, and posting herself up against it. Her legs spread wide, giving you a perfect view of her splayed pussy, glistening under the dim neon light. She’s got her hands above her head—she’s putting herself on display for you, like your own private Mona Lisa.

A look back at you and she catches you gawking—eyes glued to her ass, her pussy—and she winks. “Are you just going to stare, or do I have to make you fuck me?” She says it so casually, like she’s back at the bar ordering another drink. “Hurry up, please. I need it. Inside me. Now."

No more waiting, no further invitations needed—there’s teasing, and then there’s both of you craving it, dying for this.

You’re behind her in an instant, pressing her into the wall, her cheek against the cold brick, her juicy ass up in the air. You guide your cock to her entrance, the head nudging against her—she’s soaked, pussy drooling on your tip—and she gasps, looking back at you with those doe eyes, all wide and innocent—like she hasn’t been begging for this since the moment she looked in your direction.

“Fuck Minji, you're so fucking wet for me,” you say, running your cock down her slit, coating it in her juices, “so needy for me, aren’t you?

“Yes,” she whispers, her voice strained, like every moment without your cock inside her is torture. “I want it all. Every fucking inch.”

The first push is a slide into heaven—she’s tight, so fucking tight, so, so wet, like she’s never had anyone else—like she’s been waiting just for you. She’s teary, gasping, and you feel her body tense, but she doesn’t pull away, doesn’t dare ask you to stop. Instead, she arches her back, pushing herself back onto you, urging you deeper.

“God,” she’s chanting now, feeling inch after inch sliding into her, “it’s so—it’s already making me so—”

It’s slow, deep, fucking, stretching seconds into an eternity, stretching her pussy out with your girth, stretching her to fit you, to keep you, to never let you leave. It’s careful, almost tender at first—let her set the pace, let her show you how much she can take.

She’s moaning, low and guttural, and you wrap one hand around her waist to hold her steady as you thrust into her, let her get comfortable with your size, make her tits bounce with every pump, make her legs shake beneath her. And then there’s that lip bite again—she’s trying to keep quiet, but little moans are escaping her, getting lost in the night.

You ease out, then push back in, setting a steady rhythm that’s got her rocking back onto you. Minji seems like a delicate little thing, but there's a strength to her, a suppleness—she’s meeting you thrust for thrust, her pussy like pure velvet around your cock, gripping you tight, trying to milk you.

Hand finds her chin, tilting her head back so you can kiss her again—long, deep, tongue-filled kisses that make her whine and buck against you. She’s slowly, but surely adjusting to you now, her body learning the rhythm of your cock, getting used to being so completely filled.

It's in the way she's moaning into your mouth, like she's never been fucked like this before, never had someone so big, never had a cock so demanding of her tight little cunt. But she's so eager for it, her pussy so warm and welcoming, swallowing you up with every thrust.

It’s not normally like this—you’re not normally like this—but something has you asking between kisses, “You okay?”

She laughs, pushing herself back against you, pushing her cunt down on you, taking you deeper, burying your cock to the hilt. “I’m not going to break, I promise,” she says, looking over her shoulder, needing this. “I need you to fuck me—no holding back—I can take it all—everything you’ve ever given anyone else, all those other girls. I can handle it.”

“Show me.”

It’s throwing gasoline on a fire—she's asking for it, burning for it. You fuck her like you mean it—pull out all the way, force it all the way back in, hard, deep, rough. A shriek and she's wailing now, true to her word she’s taking it, taking it all, utterly lost in each perfect push into her cunt. She’s so beautiful like this, so open and raw—gone is the perfect idol, she’s just another girl getting fucked in an alley by some guy she just met.

Both hands are gripping into her hips, holding her in place, holding her upright, feeling her walls clench and release around you. Marks are going to be left there too, your fingerprints on her skin, bruises that she’ll have to hide with makeup tomorrow.

“So good—so fucking good—just—“ Minji can barely make out full sentences, let alone words as you fuck her, as you own her. “Harder! Fuck! Rougher!"

It’s like a drug, this power, watching her come apart for you, knowing you’re the one making her feel this way, knowing she’ll let you do whatever you want, whatever you need as long as it makes her come apart. And you’re feeding off of it, her words pushing you closer to the edge, letting her need for you drive you, unlock that primal part of your brain. Fucking her like this, so filthy and wrong and everything you love about this life.

You pick up the pace, driving your hips forward—"harder—fuck—harder"—until she’s shaking, her legs giving out, and the only thing keeping her on her feet is your cock and your arms.

“Fuck—I know what they said but—fuck! Is this what they all felt?” She gasps out, “is this how it always feels?”

Your lips on her neck, her hair sticking to your face, the scent of her perfume, of her, intoxicating. “It doesn’t always feel like this,” you answer, you grunt. “But you do. You feel so fucking good, Minji. So fucking perfect for me.”

“You're so big,” she says, her voice trembling, “I feel so—fuck—full.”

It’s not just the way she’s clenching around you, how she’s now able to take every inch of you like she’s been fucking you her whole life—it’s how she says your name, like you’re the only one that could ever make you feel this way, like you’re the one who ever will.

You grab her tits, squeezing them, seizing them, pinching and twisting her nipples between your fingers. All it does is make her beg, “fuck—I love it—how rough you are—” needing more of everything you have, “your hands—your cock—please don’t stop, don’t ever stop—I can take it please—rougher please—fuck!”

Something cracks inside you, and your hand comes down on her ass, the sound bouncing off the walls like a gunshot. Minji jolts, yelps, but the noise is quickly swallowed by a moan, a squeezing of her cunt around you.

“Fuck that felt—”

You do it again, and again, each slap a little harder, a little more punishing, the sting making her flesh jiggle deliciously with every impact. She doesn’t retreat, she’s slamming her ass back down on you, slapping her cheeks against your waist, needing to feel more.

“Gah—fuck—harder!”

She can’t help herself, minutes ago she could barely handle your size, now she can’t hold back from crying out for more pain, more excruciating pleasure.

Each smack, each groan, each breath that’s ripped from her lungs is a declaration of your power, of her need. And you revel in it, your hand coming down on her ass, leaving a trail of red marks against her creamy-white skin.

“More, please, more,” she calls for it, calls for the sting, the heat, her pussy clamping down on you, walls pulsing with every hit, her body needing the release that’s building up, inevitable and intense.

Her ass is nothing but a canvas painted by the strokes of your hand and the relentless pounding of your cock, and you can’t help but admire your handiwork, you're struggling to suppress the urge to lean down and kiss each spot you’ve marked.

“You’re going to be so sore tomorrow,” you say, your teeth grazing the shell of her ear.

“I know,” she answers, her voice a whine, a plea, a moan. “But this is what I wanted—to feel—to remember this—this moment—getting fucked like you own me—because you do—so don’t hold back—don’t ever hold back.”

You’re both sweaty, panting—you can feel her orgasm building, like a storm in the distance, thunder rumbling closer and closer until it's right above you, ready to break. And there’s your own, too, that delicious pressure at the base of your spine, the promise of release, coming at you just as quick.

But you’re not going to let her get there—not yet—not when you’ve got her like this, pliant and open and so in need. You lean forward, your chest pressing against her back, and slide your hand down, reaching around to find her clit.

It’s slick and stiff and wanting, and Minji screams—a high, keening sound that you want to hear again and again. You’re playing with it, swiping it with your thumb in tight circles, feeling her clench around you with every pass.

“I’m almost—God that feels so good—I’m almost!”

But you stop, pull out of her, abruptly, making her cry out, making her turn around, a mess of emotions on her face—desire, confusion, awe.

“What are you—” Minji tries to ask, but you’re spinning her around and pressing her back against the wall. Her leg comes up, wrapping around your waist, but you take it and lift it higher, testing the extent of her flexibility, throwing it over your shoulder.

She’s right on that edge, you can see it—her pupils dilate, her mouth opens in a silent scream, her body tenses, her cunt melting around you. But you weren't going to let her cum like that, not without watching her face, not without seeing the moment she cracks and shatters.

Now you’re face to face, chest to chest, her eyes needing yours to anchor herself to, needing to know what you’re going to do to her. No time for breaks—in one, deep thrust you're all the way back inside her, making her scream with the suddenness of it, the shock, the bliss of being so perfectly filled.

She groans, weeps with each pump into her, and she’s smiling through it all. “So—” she asks, struggling to form intelligible sentences. “How do I—fuck—how do I—mmmph—compare to the others?”

You grunt, barely registering the question, your mind clouded by the spasms of her cunt around you. “What others?”

“The other girls—God—the other idols,” she says, strained. “The ones you’ve fucked before—the ones you’ve ruined—how do I—aah—compare?”

You kiss her again, a bruising, punishing kiss that steals the question from her lips. You don’t need to answer that. You’re showing her. You’re fucking showing her how she compares, how she’s the best, the tightest, the wettest, the most eager. You’re showing her how she’s going to be the one they whisper about in the halls of HYBE and beyond, she'll become the story that will be told as a warning, about the sweet, innocent idol ruined in a dirty alleyway.

Your world is spinning around you now—there’s your hand on her throat, a gentle squeeze, just enough to make her eyes water, to make her breath catch. But she’s not scared, not with the way she’s grinning, not with how she’s grinding her hips to meet yours.

“Fuck—make me scream—” It’s a plea, a demand, she’s so stunning, so tortured in her need for it, “do whatever you want to me, whatever you need—just—make me cum harder—God please—harder than any of them ever did.”

Any care you had for getting caught, about the consequences of what you're doing—where you're doing it—dissipates into the ether. Nothing exists outside of the race to her orgasm, outside of your hips recklessly pounding into her, reducing her to moans and shakes and trembles.

“Cum for me,” you growl, “right here, right now, Minji—cum for me again—show me that you’re mine.”

“I was made for you,” she says, and it’s not just the heat of the moment talking, it’s something else, something deeper. She’s not just saying it to get off, she’s saying it like it’s a revelation, like she’s been waiting for you, for this exact moment.

“Prove it.”

It hits her like a fucking truck, and Minji’s screaming, filth belted from her mouth and into the night, her pussy quaking around your cock, her whole body entering into seizure. You keep going, riding out her orgasm, feeling her cum on your cock, feeling her body go rigid, her muscles tense, it’s those abs, so tight, it’s those absurdly strong contractions that have you falling after her.

“God—fuck, I—can’t believe—can’t believe—”

You’re fucking her through it, not giving her a moment’s reprieve, not letting her come down from that high, because you’re not ready for this to end, not when she’s so helpless. You hold her tight through it, let her shake, rattle against you, let her nails dig into your arms, let her cum drench you.

“Fuuuuuuck!”

It’s too much for her to take, and once the storm has finally subsided, Minji is just a ragdoll in your arms. Her legs are limp, held up by your grip alone, still trembling from the aftershocks of her orgasm. Her makeup is ruined, a mix of sweat and your kisses, leaving dark streaks on her cheeks. Her hair, plastered to her forehead, her eyes half-closed, and there’s her body—marks of your teeth on her chest, her breasts, the bruises of your fingers around her hips, the mottled red of her ass, a map of your dominance painted on her perfect skin.

It’s not just the physical marks you’ve left on her; it’s the way she’s looking at you now, awe, desperation, realisation that it’s all true, every rumour, everything they’ve said about you—and she’s the latest filthy chapter in your story.

But you’re not done yet, you haven’t finished. You’re pulling out, and she’s whining, making your cock throb with her pleas. You guide her to the floor, to her knees, her dress puddled around her, the cold concrete biting into her skin.

You’re standing over her, looking down at her like she’s a prize, your prize. “Open your mouth,” you tell her, and she does, without hesitation, without question.

You grab your cock, still slick with her juices, and stroke yourself, watching her tongue dart out to lick her lips, watching the anticipation build in her eyes.

It’s the sweetest, most erotic sight you’ve ever seen—Minji, the girl that's everyone's type, the girl who could have anything she wants, anyone, on her knees for you—tongue out, mouth wide open, waiting eagerly for your cum.

And then you do it—you let go, shooting ropes of hot cum, painting her face, letting it dribble down onto her chin, onto her chest, onto her toned stomach, covering her until she’s a sticky mess of lust and desire. She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t pull away—she loves the feeling of it, shivering as your hot cum hits her skin.

She holds position through it all—knees on the ground, eyes closed, a serene smile as if she’s just been blessed. And when you're done, when your cock is finally spent, she looks up at you with a grin that's pure sin.

Minji takes a finger, dips it into the mess on her chin, and tastes you. It's a bold move, it’s messy, it’s wrong, it’s perfect. There’s the glimmer of triumph in her eyes, the knowledge that she's made you do something so raw, that she made you lose all control.

For a second there’s nothing but the sound of your ragged breathing, the come down from your euphoric high. Minji speaks, still shaky from the orgasm that ripped through her. “That was—” she pauses, searching for the right word. “—incredible. Fuck!”

There’s a rush of arrogance, a smug smile of satisfaction at her confession. “So, do I live up to the legend?”

Minji wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing your cum across her cheek. There’s a glint in her eye, like she’s got a secret that she’s dying to share. “More than I could have ever imagined. You’re not just a man-whore, you’re a fucking artist.”

You laugh at that, as you tuck yourself back in, smoothing down your shirt, trying to compose yourself, pretending like her words don’t mean anything to you, like you don’t take pride in the validation of every girl you fuck.

“How do I rank?” she asks, the question coming out of nowhere, and you blink down at her, your brain trying to catch up. “I mean, out of all the idols you’ve fucked?”

“Rank?” you repeat. "I don't keep a list, that would be..." You trail off, realising what you're about to say, and now it’s her turn to laugh.

“Crass?” she supplies. “I know, but I’m just curious.”

“You’re fucking fantastic, that’s for sure,” you reassure her, making her giggle, the laughter bubbling up from her chest like it’s the best compliment she’s ever heard. “Why—do you keep a list?”

Her smile falters for a moment, but then she’s grinning again, looking even more wicked with the cum pasted across her face, and it makes you want to bend her over and fuck her all over again. “Of course I do. And you’ll be happy to know that you’re number one.”

“That’s good to know.”

But then she says, “Of one.”

And you freeze. The air around you turns to ice, and she’s looking up at you with those big, dark eyes, and you realise what she’s saying, what she’s just admitted to you. You’ve taken her virginity, and she’s looking at you like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

“You were…” you start, but she cuts you off.

“Don’t,” she says, her voice firm. “Don’t make this something it’s not. I wanted this, and I wanted it to be with you. I told you: I can handle it all.”

But that doesn’t stop your mind from racing, trying to process what she’s saying. You had your suspicions—she was so tight, so new, so untouched—and now she’s yours, in a way that no one else can claim. You wiped away her innocence, and she’s not running, not crying, not regretful.

The weight of it settles in your stomach, a strange cocktail of pride and guilt. You’ve ruined her, in the best way possible. You’ve claimed something precious and pure, and she’s given it to you willingly, eagerly.

“Fuck, Minji,” you start, trying to find the words. “If you had told me, I would’ve—”

“You would’ve what? I lost my virginity by having filthy, mind-blowing sex in a dark alley with the best cock in all of Korea,” she says, pridefully, with her entire chest, fully believing every word she's saying. “Can you really tell me your story was any better? I bet whoever it was with didn’t scream like I did. Or cum so hard she couldn’t see straight.”

You cast your mind back to the past, and you have to concede the point. “I see what you mean. But still—” You feel like you should say something, but what? It’s not like you can apologise, not when she’s looking at you like that, like she’s just won the fucking lottery. “How does it feel?”

“A-ma-zing,” she draws out, rising to her feet. “Everything I’ve ever heard about, multiplied by a million. You might’ve ruined sex for me completely.”

You watch as she puts herself back together, sliding her panties back on, tugging her dress over her head and down her hips. She’s smoothing her hair back, trying to fix the mess you’ve made of her; wiping at the cum on her chin, her cheek, trying to erase the evidence of your encounter, trying to put the mask of the sweet, innocent idol back on.

But you know better. You know what’s hiding beneath that polished exterior.

“Come home with me,” you find yourself saying before you can think better of it.

Minji turns to you, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and there's that hint of challenge again. “Why?” she asks, tilting her head to the side. “You want to cuddle and fall asleep together? Wake up, have breakfast in bed?”

“Yeah,” you nod, honestly. “After I’ve fucked you senseless again, of course. But yeah, come home with me.”

“That would be nice,” Minji says, a soft smile on her face. It's surreal, this moment, so at odds with the grimy alleyway and the smell of sex sticking to her skin. She looks so pure now, in complete contrast to how roughly you were fucking her just moments ago. Her innocence wasn’t lost, it was just painted with a fresh coat of your sin.  “But—you know I can’t. They’re waiting.”

“Worth a shot,” you shrug, not bothering to hide your disappointment.

And then she produces your phone, holding it out to you. “You need to be more careful with your things.”

“When did you—”

“Now you’ve got my number,” she says. “You’re welcome to do whatever it is you want with it. But I’m hoping you use it.”

You take it out of her hands, swiping away the string of missed calls and messages, the digital proof of how much trouble you’re going to be in come morning. But for now, it’s irrelevant. For now, there’s only Minji, and the way she’s standing there, looking up at you, smiling like she’s just stepped off the stage.

“You’re going to go back to them?” you ask, gesturing towards the club entrance, to where the rest of her group are probably still gossiping, plotting your downfall.

“Of course,” Minji says. “They’re my friends. They care about me. They’ll want to make sure I’m okay.”

“And when they find out what we just did?”

“Oh, they’re going to want to kill you,” she answers, with a giggle. You’ve had enough of these types of conversations to know she’s not joking. “Except Dani, maybe. She’ll probably want a shot at you too. If I let her.”

"Noted," you say, trying to keep the image of Danielle, splayed against the wall like Minji before her, out of your head. "What exactly are you going to tell them?"

Minji pauses, thinking, before landing on a succinct summary. "I’ll just tell them that you fucked my brains out and then ditched me in an alley.”

You sigh, “sounds brutal.”

“Well, it is what it is,” Minji says, and she’s pressing a kiss to your cheek, her lips still sticky with the residue of your cum, the last traces of what's just happened.

You watch her go, watch as she turns away, walking back towards the club, a little stumble, a little trouble keeping steady. You should be feeling guilty, you should be regretting this, but all you can think is how good it felt, how right it felt. And you know you’ll do it again—you know it deep in your bones.

Minji turns back to you, catching your eye, catching you staring again, and she smiles. “You better go now. You do have a reputation to maintain, after all.”

[wonderjanga]

Marvel’s Lives

As you guys know, there have been previous champions. They’ve all lived different lives and such. Some have been men, some women, and are some genders that don’t exist anymore. Point is, no one life is the same.

Let’s say some female heroes are talking about abortion one day and out of nowhere Cap just chimes in:

Marvel: “Oh yeah, pregnancy is tough, man. Giving birth is not for the weak. I’m speaking from experience here. Anyone who doesn’t want that, shouldn’t do it.”

Female JL members: “What…?”

Black Canary: “Marvel, last I checked, you were a man.”

Marvel: “Actually, a few thousand years ago, I used to be a woman!”

Female JL members: “???”

Marvel: “I’ve been a woman, multiple times actually.”*proceeds to walk away like he didn’t drop that on them*

They’re all thinking he’s trans, but no? His words imply he’s fluid? The thing is though is that Marvel’s never really shown that he’s either. The question was later asked by Hawkwoman when he was making oobleck in the kitchen of the Watchtower

Hawkwoman: “Captain.”

Marvel: “Yes, Ms. Hawkwoman?”

Hawkwoman: “Are you a woman?”

Marvel: *looks up from his oobleck to her, looking confused* “No? Why?”

Hawkwoman: “Some of the other girls were talking about how you were a woman at some point.”

Marvel: “Ooooh that. I was a woman. Yeah.”

Hawkwoman: “So you’re not anymore. What did you look like as a woman, if I may ask? Also what is that?” *points to the oobleck*

Marvel: “Oobleck.” *offers bowl off oobleck to her for her to play with* “Also, sure. Just a sec.” *mutters a spell*

Hawkwoman: *pokes the oobleck*

Marvel: *poofs and is now a female champion from like seven thousand years ago. His suit also changed to the previous champion’s own suit* “Tada!”

Hawkwoman: *does a double take when she sees him* “You… Certainly have a darker complexion.”

Marvel: “Yeah. If I remember correctly, I lived in the Middle Eastern area back then. That’s probably why.”

Hawkwoman: “And why are you white now?”

Marvel: “My appearance changes every few a hundred years or so. That includes my skin color, gender, and other features.”

Hawkwoman: “Oooooh. Okay then.”

They proceeded to play together with the oobleck after that.

Like ten minutes after that initial interaction…

WW: “Shayera. There you are. I was wondering if you wish to spar with me.” *notices Marvel* “Who is this? A new hero?”

Marvel: *turns around, hands covered in oobleck*

Hawkwoman: *also turns around, hands covered in oobleck* “What’d you say? I was distracted.”

WW: “I was wondering if you wanted to spar with m…” *trails off when she sees Shazam’s lighting bolt on fem Marvel* “Brother?”

Marvel: “Hi, Ms. Wonder Woman.” *waves an oobleck covered hand*

WW: “Why’re you a woman?”

Marvel: “Ms. Hawkwoman asked.” *shrugs*

The three then proceeded to play with the oobleck together.

Then, there was the time someone asked Marvel about his religion when they heard he believed in the Greek Gods.

Marvel: *shrugs* “I’ve been multiple different flavors of pagan. Fun fact, a couple thousand years ago, I used to be a ritualistic cannibal. It was apart of the offerings and rituals of a shaman. Or at least the types of shamans of that time in that specific empire.”

JL member: “Do you still eat people now?”

Marvel: “That’s not important, the point is, if there’s a religion, I most likely at some point practiced it. Or at least the super old version of it.”

JL member: “Okay? But do you still eat people now??”

Marvel: “I guess I’m saying I’m kinda in between religions?”

JL member: “Can you please stop ignoring the questioning ?”

He continued to ignore the question.

Of course, the ritual cannibal thing isn’t the only one of the outlandish things Billy’s casually admitted to doing. Eventually though, things can get a little bit too much for some members.

Marvel: *telling them about another thing he did in a past life*

GL: “Okay! That’s enough, dude!”

Marvel: *concerned* “What? Did I say something wrong?”

GL: “No, I’m just confused as to why you’ve done all these things, man. Are these like side quests you under go? Or like…? What’s going on, pal?”

Marvel: “Nothing…? These are just things I’ve happened to do.” *shrugs*

GL: “So you’re willingly telling me you tried to trample someone to death with a horse just for funsies?”

Marvel: “Well, when you put it like that-”

Flash: “Wait, what about the time you told me you were a princess before princesses were a thing?”

Marvel: “I uh-”

Superman: “And the time you told me that you used your lightning powers to become a cult leader?”

Marvel: “Okay, I get it. I’ll stop tell you guys about myself.”

MM: “Captain, it’s not that we don’t want you to tell us about yourself. It’s instead that your stories seem to have no cause for them.”

Flash: “Yeah! Like why did you feel the need to become a cult leader? How were you a princess?? Why would you want to trample someone with a horse???”

Marvel: *shrugs*

Flash: “Wha- Don’t just shrug!”

Marvel: “I was a different person back then.”

Superman: “That’s a little too cryptic, bud.”

[pucksandpower]

Pollinated

Day 11 → Sex Pollen 💋 Max Verstappen

Warnings: 18+ content and dubious consent

Kinktober Masterlist

“You’ve got a stack waiting for you.” Alan leans on the edge of your desk, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. He’s holding a bundle of envelopes, some thick with scribbled messages, some thin and printed with clean, crisp fonts.

Your PR officer’s eyebrows raise in mock exasperation as he shakes them at you. “How do you even have time to race with all these fans wanting a piece of you?”

You grin, setting down your coffee and wiping your hands on your pants. “That’s the problem of being so popular, Alan. It’s a curse, really.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s a real burden. Everyone loving you.”

“Someone’s gotta do it.”

He drops the stack in front of you with a soft thud. “Take your time. I’ll be back in a bit.” His tone is teasing, but you catch the flicker of something more serious underneath, like he’s reminding you there’s more work to be done after this.

You roll your eyes as he walks off. You love this part of your day — the letters, the drawings, the fan art from kids who see something in you that makes them believe they can be here too. They’re always so personal, full of energy, like they’re rooting for you from their living rooms or school desks.

You flick through the pile, reading the familiar opening lines. Dear Y/N, you’re such an inspiration or I love watching you race! Your heart lifts as you come across a brightly colored drawing from a girl named Chloe, of you standing on a podium, arms raised in victory. It makes you smile so wide your cheeks hurt a little. You can practically hear the little girl’s voice, excitedly telling her parents, “That’s gonna be me one day.”

“This is what it’s about,” you mutter under your breath, running your fingers over the crayon marks.

More letters. More words of encouragement. A scribbled note from a group of university students who drove twelve hours just to see you race last season. A letter from an older woman who says she’s been watching F1 since her husband introduced her to it in the ‘70s and how proud she is to see a woman making waves. You pause at that one, your chest swelling. You’ll have to write her back.

You reach for the next envelope, a bit plainer than the others. No stickers, no hand-drawn doodles in the margins. It’s simple, just your name written on the front in neat black ink. Your gut tugs slightly, but you brush it off. Not every fan is an artist.

You open it, pulling out a card with a printed picture of a car on the front. Your car. You smile, flipping it open to read the message inside.

But your smile fades as you start to read.

You don’t belong here.

The words are bold, black, and stark against the white paper. They stand out like a punch to the gut, each line colder and more hateful than the last. The handwriting is meticulous, like whoever wrote it wanted to be sure you’d understand every word.

Women like you are ruining the sport.

Your throat tightens. Your fingers grip the edges of the card a little harder than before, the edges bending under the pressure.

Go back to doing what you’re good at: nothing.

You try to swallow, but it feels like there’s a knot lodged in your throat. It’s not the first time you’ve seen something like this. Hell, it’s not even the worst thing anyone’s said. But right now, it’s too sharp, too specific, too venomous.

You reach up to close the card, your hand trembling slightly. But before you can fully shut it, something catches your eye — a tiny puff of fine yellow powder shoots from the fold, drifting into the air in front of you.

“What the-” You blink, confused for a split second.

Then, it hits.

A burning sensation spreads through your throat and nose. Your skin tingles, a wave of heat rushing over your face. You gasp, trying to catch your breath, but it feels like you’re inhaling fire. Panic spikes as your vision blurs.

“Alan!” The name barely makes it past your lips before you feel your legs give way beneath you.

“Alan!” You try again, but it comes out weaker this time. Your limbs feel heavy, your chest tight, and the room starts to spin in slow, nauseating circles.

Footsteps pound across the floor. Alan’s voice sounds far away, muffled, like he’s underwater. You catch a glimpse of him sprinting toward you, his face pale, eyes wide. “Y/N?”

Your body jerks uncontrollably, a violent shudder running through you. The room twists, everything turning hazy as you hit the floor hard, your fingers twitching against the cool tile.

“What the hell — Y/N!” Alan’s panic is sharp now, cutting through the fog. You can barely see him through the haze clouding your vision, but you feel him grab your shoulders, shaking you gently.

“Stay with me. Just stay with me, okay?” His voice cracks, fear bleeding through the edges.

Your entire body seizes again, every muscle clamping down painfully. A sharp cry escapes your throat as the convulsions take over, uncontrollable now.

“Help! Somebody, help!” Alan’s voice is frantic, desperate, echoing through the room as the world starts to fade. His hands are on your face now, trying to keep you conscious. You feel his fingers trembling against your skin, hear the panic rising in his voice as he keeps shouting for help.

But you’re slipping, sinking deeper into the darkness as the convulsions wrack your body. You can’t speak. You can’t move.

Alan’s voice is the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

***

The world returns slowly, like surfacing from a deep dive. There’s a ringing in your ears, muffled voices blending into the constant hum of machinery. Your body feels like it’s on fire — each nerve sizzling under your skin, radiating heat. You try to move, but it’s as if you’re bound by weights. The sheets beneath you cling to your body, too warm, too tight, too much.

Someone’s talking nearby, but it’s distant, warped. You can’t make out the words yet. Everything feels heavy — your eyelids, your chest, even your breathing. Your mouth is dry, your tongue like sandpaper against the roof of your mouth.

Slowly, the fog begins to clear, and you catch fragments of conversation.

“… highly illegal substance …” A voice, crisp and professional, filters through. The doctor. “… extreme toxicity … very few cases on record …”

You try to focus, but the burning sensation inside you only intensifies. It’s everywhere — your limbs, your core, your mind. Like you’re being torn apart from the inside out.

You manage a groan, the sound barely escaping your lips.

“She’s waking up,” someone says, closer now. Alan? It sounds like him, but there’s a hitch in his usually confident voice. Panic.

Your eyelids flutter open, and the room comes into blurry focus. Harsh fluorescent lights. Sterile white walls. The sterile smell of antiseptic clogs your senses, a sharp contrast to the heat still coursing through you. You blink slowly, your vision sharpening enough to see Alan standing by your bedside, pale and jittery, his hand running through his hair in nervous strokes.

Across from him is the doctor, his white coat stiff and immaculate. He’s holding a clipboard, and his face is a mask of concern. When he speaks, it feels like each word takes a lifetime to process.

“… the substance she was exposed to … it’s not just any powder,” the doctor is saying, his voice measured but grim. “It’s a synthetic pollen derivative, known as Lust Dust on the black market.”

Lust Dust. The words sink into you, but you don’t recognize them. Your throat feels too tight to ask for clarification. Alan, however, doesn’t hesitate.

“What does that mean? What the hell is that?” Alan’s voice is raw, frayed at the edges.

The doctor sighs, flipping through the notes on his clipboard before answering. “It’s an extremely illegal bio-weapon, developed underground. It was used in several isolated attacks a few years ago, mostly in war zones. The symptoms … well, they’re brutal.”

You don’t like the sound of this. Brutal. Illegal. Bio-weapon. The words swirl around in your head, each one setting off alarm bells, but you can barely move enough to react. You just lie there, heat pulsing through you, your body screaming in agony.

“The pollen attacks the body’s nervous system,” the doctor continues, his tone clinical. “It acts as a stimulant, targeting primal instincts, heightening … certain responses. The most dangerous part is that, if untreated, the body will burn out within hours.”

“Burn out?” Alan echoes, his voice barely more than a whisper. “What does that mean? You mean … she’ll die?”

“Yes,” the doctor replies, his tone darkening. “In most cases, without intervention, the victim’s body will shut down. It’s a highly sexualized toxin. The only way to counteract the effects is through physical release.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence. The words hover in the air, sinking into the room with a weight you can almost feel. Your heart races, your mind struggling to comprehend what’s being said. Physical release? The burning sensation in your body intensifies, like it’s reacting to the very idea of what the doctor’s suggesting.

Alan’s face pales further, his hand gripping the back of his neck in horror. “Wait, are you — are you saying she has to-”

“Sex,” the doctor says bluntly, not sugar-coating anything. “Yes. If she doesn’t have sex soon, she will die. The sooner, the better, to mitigate the damage the pollen’s already caused.”

A cold sweat breaks out across your skin, despite the unbearable heat raging inside you. The fire in your veins is consuming everything, twisting the doctor’s words into cruel irony. This can’t be happening. Not this.

“I … I …“ Alan stammers, clearly at a loss, his eyes flicking to you, desperate and terrified. “There’s got to be another way. Medicine? A procedure? Something?”

The doctor shakes his head. “There’s no antidote. The only option is the one I’ve given you.”

You want to scream. You want to cry. But you can’t do anything except lie there, burning from the inside out, unable to stop the panic surging through you as the realization sinks in.

Alan takes a shaky breath. “What … what do we do now?”

The doctor straightens, his voice calm but commanding. “The most important thing is finding someone who’s willing to … assist.”

Alan’s eyes widen in horror, but before he can say anything, the door bursts open and several members of your team file into the room — engineers, mechanics, staff. Their faces are tight with concern, and they crowd into the small space, murmuring amongst themselves.

“What happened?” Someone asks, their voice tense.

Alan quickly explains, his voice shaking as he goes over the details. The pollen. The bio-weapon. The need for “intervention.” Every word makes your heart pound harder, and you can feel the collective shock ripple through the room as the reality of the situation sets in.

“She needs someone,” Alan says, his voice thick with emotion. “She needs someone to …”

He can’t even finish the sentence.

The room falls into stunned silence. You can hear the soft hum of the machines around you, the ragged breathing of the people in the room. It feels like time has stopped, the weight of the situation pressing down on everyone.

Then, the whispers start.

“I’ll do it,” someone mutters.

“No, I will,” another voice pipes up. You recognize it as one of the engineers, his voice shaky but sincere.

“I mean, she’s our driver, right? We have to help.”

More voices chime in, each one offering, each one willing. The panic in the room turns to a frantic eagerness, as though everyone suddenly realizes what’s at stake. You can barely comprehend it — the idea that your team, your colleagues, are discussing this as though it’s just another task, something to be done to save your life.

Your mind is spinning, your body trembling with the heat still coursing through you. You want to shout at them, tell them to stop, that this isn’t how things should be. But you can’t move, can’t speak. All you can do is listen as the conversation grows more chaotic, more desperate.

Then, the door opens again, and a new voice cuts through the noise.

“Everyone out.”

It’s Max.

The room falls silent instantly, every head turning toward him. He stands in the doorway, his face hard and set, his blue eyes blazing with an intensity you’ve never seen before. He looks around the room, his gaze sharp, taking in the faces of your teammates, the panic, the confusion.

“I said out,” Max repeats, his voice calm but firm.

No one moves at first, too shocked to respond. But then one by one, they start to file out, murmuring to each other in hushed tones as they leave the room. You hear Alan hesitate for a moment, but even he doesn’t argue. The door shuts softly behind them, leaving you alone with Max.

You’re too weak to turn your head, but you can hear him walk closer, his footsteps slow and deliberate. He doesn’t speak right away, and the silence hangs heavy in the air, broken only by the soft beeping of the machines monitoring your condition.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Max’s voice fills the room. “It’s going to be me.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“No one else is touching you,” he says, his tone low, steady. “I’m your teammate. I’m the one who’s going to help you. Not them.”

You can’t see his face, but you can hear the resolve in his voice, the determination. He’s not offering. He’s deciding. There’s no question, no hesitation. It’s going to be him, and no one else.

And as the burning inside you flares again, you realize that part of you is grateful.

***

The air between you and Max is thick with tension, the kind that crackles in the silence, heavy with unspoken words. You lie there, your body still ablaze, the fire under your skin pulsing in waves, but something about his presence — steady, resolute — grounds you, if only just. You can’t move, can barely speak, but your mind races, half-paralyzed with the agony of the pollen and half with the strange anticipation of what’s to come.

Max stands beside the bed, his face framed by the fluorescent lights above, casting shadows that sharpen his features. He doesn’t look afraid, though you can tell there’s something behind his eyes — something that trembles just beneath the surface. His gaze locks onto yours, and it feels like he’s looking past the pain, past the situation, to something deeper.

“This isn’t how I imagined …“ His voice is soft, barely more than a whisper, as though the words aren’t meant to be heard by anyone but you. He reaches for your hand, his fingers brushing yours, tentative at first, like he’s asking permission for what’s about to happen.

You want to respond, to say something, but your throat is too tight, too raw, the burning heat still tearing through you. You manage the faintest of nods, your hand twitching against his, and that’s all he needs.

Max leans over, his face close to yours now, his breath warm against your cheek. His hand trails gently down your arm, his touch soft, careful. “I’m here, okay?” He murmurs, his voice low, soothing. “We’ll get through this.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then, in that same quiet, tender voice, he adds, “Schatje … you’re so strong.”

The endearment rolls off his tongue like honey, and despite everything — despite the fire tearing you apart from the inside out — it brings a strange, aching warmth to your chest. Max has never called you that before. The intimacy of it catches you off guard, though you don’t have the strength to dwell on it for long.

His hands move lower now, brushing across your skin with reverence, as though you might break under his touch. You shiver, not from the cold, but from the intensity of his gaze, the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters.

“You don’t deserve this,” Max whispers, his forehead nearly touching yours. His voice cracks ever so slightly, betraying the calm façade he’s trying to maintain. “I’ve … I’ve wanted this for a long time,” he admits softly, his words a confession, raw and vulnerable. “But not like this. Never like this.”

You close your eyes, focusing on the feel of his hands on your body, the way he’s handling you with such care, as though he’s afraid of hurting you. And somehow, through the pain, you manage to relax just enough to let him in. Just enough to let him take some of the weight from you.

He presses his lips to your temple, a soft, lingering kiss, and you can feel the tremble in his breath. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against your skin. “Just let me take care of you.”

The way he says it sends a shiver down your spine, and for a moment, the burning inside you dims, replaced by something else. Something warm, and tender, and utterly consuming. Max moves with purpose now, his touch becoming more sure, more confident, but never losing that careful tenderness. He’s cooing to you, whispering soft praises in Dutch, his voice like a balm against the fire raging inside you.

“I’ve always wanted you,” Max admits again, his words spilling out like he can’t hold them back any longer. “For so long. I just … I didn’t know how to tell you.”

His hands continue their journey, and despite the circumstances, despite the fire still licking at your insides, your body responds. Every touch feels magnified, every brush of his skin against yours sending a jolt of something deeper through you, something primal and desperate and… needed.

“You’re so strong,” he says again, his voice reverent, almost in awe. “So perfect. I don’t know how you do it.”

Your body trembles beneath him, not just from the fire that’s still coursing through you, but from the way he’s touching you, the way his words wrap around you like a soft embrace. It’s intimate in a way you hadn’t expected, the vulnerability of the moment stripping away any pretense, any barriers you might have once had.

“I’m here, liefje,” Max whispers, his lips brushing against your ear now. “I’ll take care of you. I promise.”

You don’t know how he manages it, how he makes something so painful feel like this, but he does. His hands are everywhere, soothing the burn, coaxing your body to relax, to give in to what you need. And with every touch, every whispered endearment, the fire inside you dims, just a little, just enough to let you breathe.

“I wish it was different,” Max murmurs, his voice thick with emotion now. “I wish this was … just us. Not because of this. Not because of …“ His words trail off, but you understand. You understand perfectly.

He presses his forehead against yours again, his breathing ragged, his body tense with the effort of keeping himself composed. “But I’ll do whatever it takes,” he says, his voice fierce with determination. “I’ll do anything for you.”

Your body reacts to him instinctively now, every nerve ending lighting up in response to his touch, the fire inside you blazing hotter but in a way that feels … different. Less painful. More like an ache, a deep, desperate need that only he can fill.

“Max …“ you manage to whisper, your voice hoarse, barely audible. It’s the first word you’ve spoken since waking up, and it feels like a release, like a crack in the wall you’ve built around yourself. He hears it, though, and his gaze softens, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers, his voice full of emotion. “I’ve always got you.”

His movements quicken, and you can feel yourself spiraling, the fire inside you building to a crescendo, but this time it’s not just pain. It’s something more, something overwhelming and all-consuming. You can feel him with you, guiding you, coaxing you toward the edge.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers again, his voice breathless now, his own control slipping. “I’ve wanted you for so long …“

His words send you tumbling over the edge, your body convulsing in a wave of pleasure so intense it nearly takes your breath away. The fire beneath your skin peaks, then suddenly, blessedly, begins to recede. It’s like the flames are being extinguished, one by one, leaving only warmth in their wake.

And Max is there, holding you through it, his arms wrapped around you tightly, his face buried in the crook of your neck. His breathing is ragged, his body trembling with the effort of holding himself together, but he doesn’t let go. He doesn’t move.

As the last of the fire dies down, as your body finally begins to relax, you hear him whisper, so softly you almost miss it.

“I love you.”

The words slip out before he can stop them, unguarded and raw, and for a moment, everything else fades away. The room, the pain, the circumstances that brought you here — it all disappears, leaving only the two of you, tangled together, vulnerable and exposed.

You’re too weak to respond, too exhausted from everything that’s just happened, but Max doesn’t seem to mind. He holds you close, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your hair, your forehead, anywhere he can reach.

“I love you,” he whispers again, like he’s afraid you didn’t hear him the first time. “I’ve always loved you.”

His confession hangs in the air, delicate and fragile, but it feels right. Like it’s been waiting to be said all along.

As the fire beneath your skin finally dies out completely, as your body settles into a state of calm for the first time in hours, you let yourself fall into the safety of his arms, his warmth the only thing keeping the remnants of the fire at bay.

Max doesn’t let go. Not for a long time. And you don’t want him to.

***

Max holds you close, his body pressed against yours, his breath still coming in shallow bursts as the two of you lie in a tangled heap on the bed. The burning fire that had been searing through your body has finally been extinguished, leaving only a lingering warmth that feels manageable now.

But even though the pain is gone, even though your body has found relief, there’s still something… unfinished. A strange, restless feeling that hums beneath your skin, an ache that begs for more.

Max is quiet beside you, his hand brushing gently through your hair as he watches your face, his expression soft but intent, like he’s still worried, still waiting for some sign that you’re okay. But you can see it in his eyes — he knows. He knows it’s not over yet.

You shift beneath him, the subtle movement sending a ripple of sensation through you, and your breath hitches involuntarily. The fire is gone, but that need, that craving — it’s still there, simmering just below the surface. It’s not the urgent, desperate heat of the pollen, but it’s undeniable.

Max’s gaze sharpens, reading the subtle cues in your body. His hand stills in your hair, and you feel him shift beside you, his body tensing slightly as he watches you, waiting for you to say something, to ask for what you need.

You don’t have to.

“Oh liefje,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “You still need more, don’t you?”

Your throat tightens, and you nod, unable to form the words. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes — understanding, maybe, or something deeper. He doesn’t ask if you’re sure. He already knows.

Max’s hand trails down your body, his touch feather-light, and it sends a shiver through you, your body responding to him instantly. He presses a kiss to your temple, then to your jaw, his lips warm and soft against your skin. “I’m here,” he whispers, his breath hot against your ear. “Whatever you need.”

His lips travel lower, grazing the sensitive skin of your neck, and you arch into him, your body aching for more. He moves slowly, deliberately, savoring each touch, each kiss, as if he’s committing every inch of you to memory.

You can’t help the small gasp that escapes your lips when he moves lower still, his mouth brushing against your collarbone. He’s taking his time, drawing this out, making sure every second is filled with pleasure, with tenderness. There’s no urgency now, no frantic need to cure the fire. This is something else — something deliberate, something intimate.

Max’s hands slide down your sides, his thumbs brushing lightly over your ribs as he lowers himself down the bed. His mouth follows the path his hands have carved, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. You feel his breath against your skin, warm and teasing, as he moves lower, kissing across your stomach with slow, deliberate care.

Every nerve in your body is on high alert, each touch sending sparks of pleasure coursing through you. Your fingers tangle in the sheets, gripping them tightly as you fight to keep your composure, but Max makes it impossible. His lips are everywhere, soft and warm and completely unrelenting.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice rough with desire. “I don’t think you even realize …”

His words send a thrill through you, and your breath catches as his hands slide lower, his fingers brushing the curve of your hips. He presses a kiss to your navel, and you feel the heat pooling deep inside you, the need building again, stronger this time, more insistent.

“Max …” you whisper, your voice barely audible, but he hears you. He always hears you.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers back, his voice soft, reassuring. “Just relax.”

You try, but it’s impossible with the way he’s touching you, the way he’s kissing you, like every part of you deserves his undivided attention. He’s worshiping you with every movement, and it’s almost too much to bear.

Max’s hands slide up your thighs, and your breath stutters as he spreads your legs wider, his eyes dark with want as he looks up at you. His hands grip your hips, holding you steady as he presses a kiss just below the dip of your waist, teasing you, making you wait.

“You’re perfect,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your skin. “Do you know that?”

You can’t respond, can’t do anything but arch into him, desperate for more. He knows exactly what you need, and he’s giving it to you slowly, carefully, savoring every moment.

Max’s hands grasp your thighs, and he pulls them apart slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. There’s something in his gaze — something raw, something vulnerable. He’s giving himself to you completely, just as much as you’re giving yourself to him.

His lips trail lower, pressing kisses to the sensitive skin there, and your entire body shudders in response. Every nerve is on fire again, but this time it’s not the cruel burn of the pollen.

This is different. This is Max.

He pauses for a moment, his lips hovering just above where you need him most, and he looks up at you, his eyes searching yours. “Tell me what you want,” he whispers, his voice barely more than a breath.

You can’t form the words. All you can do is nod, your body trembling beneath him.

Max smiles, a small, almost shy smile, and then he lowers his head, his mouth finally, blessedly, on you. The sensation is immediate, intense, and you cry out, your fingers digging into the sheets as he works you with a precision that only he seems to know. His tongue moves slowly at first, teasing you, drawing out your pleasure, but it doesn’t take long for him to find the rhythm that makes your entire body sing.

He’s relentless, his mouth and hands working in perfect harmony, driving you higher and higher until you can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but feel. The pleasure builds and builds, coiling tighter and tighter inside you until you’re sure you’re going to break.

“Max!” You gasp, your body arching off the bed. “Please …”

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down. If anything, he goes faster, his tongue working you with an intensity that leaves you trembling. You’re so close, so impossibly close, and he knows it.

“That’s it,” he whispers against you, his voice thick with need. “Let go, schatje. I’ve got you.”

And then, with one last flick of his tongue, you’re gone, tumbling over the edge into a wave of pleasure so intense it almost hurts. Your entire body convulses, your vision going white as you fall apart beneath him, your fingers gripping the sheets so tightly they burn.

Max doesn’t let up, his mouth still on you, drawing out every last drop of pleasure until you’re nothing but a trembling, panting mess. When he finally pulls away, you’re left gasping for breath, your body slick with sweat, your heart racing in your chest.

He crawls back up the bed, pressing soft kisses to your skin as he goes, his hands soothing over your trembling limbs. When he finally reaches your face, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, his fingers brushing your hair back from your face.

“You’re okay,” he murmurs, his voice soft, reassuring. “You’re okay.”

You can barely nod, your body still trembling from the aftershocks of your release. Max pulls you into his arms, holding you close, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your back as you come down from the high. His breath is warm against your ear, and you can feel his heart beating in time with yours.

For a moment, everything is still. Quiet. Perfect.

And then, just as your breathing begins to slow, the door creaks open.

The doctor walks in, clipboard in hand, his expression unreadable as he takes in the sight of you and Max — sweaty, tangled together, your bodies still humming with the afterglow. He doesn’t say anything at first, just glances at his clipboard, then back at you.

“Well,” he says after a moment, his tone entirely too clinical for the situation. “It appears the cure has been administered.”

Max stiffens beside you, but the doctor doesn’t seem to notice — or care. He simply jots down a few notes on his clipboard, his pen scratching loudly in the silence.

“Residual effects of heightened libido may persist,” the doctor adds, almost as an afterthought. He glances up from his notes, his gaze flicking between you and Max, then nods, satisfied. “I’ll be back to check on you later.”

And with that, he turns and walks out of the room, leaving you and Max in stunned silence.

Max lets out a breath, a low, incredulous laugh bubbling up from his chest. “Did he seriously just …”

You nod, still too dazed to form a coherent response.

Max shakes his head, a small smile playing at his lips as he pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you protectively. “Well, I guess we’re not done yet.”

And with the way your body still hums with need, you know he’s right.

[emeraldspiral]

So another interesting thing about Jane Eyre is its take on relationship inequality.

Like, Jane is 18 at the beginning of the story and Rochester is said to be something like 35-38. And it's not casually brushed aside like that was normal back in the day. It wasn't. Concerns about the age gap are raised within the text. But the story emphasizes that Jane feels comfortable accepting Rochester's proposal, despite the age difference, the class difference, and him being her boss, because Jane feels that Rochester regards her as an equal. When they converse, Jane doesn't feel any tension, like she has to impress him or try to read his mind and say whatever he wants to hear. She feels that he respects her and values her thoughts and isn't compelled to use his power against her if she says something to displease him. Around the midpoint of the story, Jane believes that Rochester is going to marry another woman, and resolves to leave because she's heartbroken, believing that because she is poor and plain Rochester can't possibly be as hurt by their parting as she is, and he'll forget her and move on long before she does. But it turns out to be the opposite. After finding out about Bertha, Rochester begs Jane to stay and insists he'll be miserable forever without her, while Jane, still thinking she's too poor and plain to ever attract someone like him again, resists all temptation and leaves him. And she does this specifically because she feels that if she were to compromise her morals and self-respect to be Mr. Rochester's mistress, then he would lose respect for her and the relationship would fall apart. It was only by maintaining her integrity that the relationship could stay in-tact when the reconciled at the end.

St. John Rivers on the other hand, I don't think is given a definite age, but I think he's intended to be a much younger man, probably in his early 20s. He is poor and without relations aside from his sisters or any other connections, just as Jane. Jane finds out they're actually cousins at the same time she learns she's come into a vast fortune that was willed to her rather than the Rivers, but decides to share her fortune equally with them. So she arguably had more social capital, even though she made an effort to put St. John on equal footing with her, because the money was hers by right and she could've presumably cut him off at any time, just as easily as Rochester could've terminated Jane from her job.

And yet, Jane's relationship with St. John is vastly more unequal than her relationship with Rochester. Even though Jane practically worshiped Rochester but only cares for St. John as a brother and is acutely aware of his faults, she still finds herself desperately craving his approval in a way she never did with Rochester. And St. John is willing to exploit that intentionally. He asks her to do things she doesn't want to and make sacrifices for him just because he knows she'll do anything to please him, and that's why he thinks she's the perfect wife for him. Where Rochester tries to explain himself and persuade Jane not to leave him by addressing her concerns, St. John basically tries to command Jane to marry him and refuses to accept her "no" as final. He withholds affection from Jane as a tactic to get her to compromise in order to reconcile with him when he's the one who should be apologizing to her and considering her needs and not just his own. Jane knows that she can't ever be happy with him because he doesn't respect her and his lack of respect only makes her want to seek his approval, which he is all too happy to exploit for his own benefit.

But Jane ultimately stays firm and rejects St. John's proposal of a loveless marriage, just as she rejected Rochester's proposal of an unlawful marriage, because both situations were doomed to fail if she didn't put her own self-respect first.

So this novel from 1847 was really saying that power dynamics aren't pure black and white. Age and class and wealth and status can be a factor in making a relationship unequal, but you can also be equal on pretty much all social axis and still have inequality in a relationship. What's really important is that there's mutual respect.

[moonchildstyles]

cherry

final part of pomegranate: the last of the firsts.

wordcount: 8.2k+

—————

Harry looked at the box in his hand with a pinch between his brows. 

Was he maybe getting a little ahead of himself? Sure, but there was such a thing as being under-prepared and that wasn't something he wanted. That was why he was in the middle of the personal hygiene aisle with a box of condoms in hand. 

Ribbed for her pleasure, or ultra thin? His brows pulled into a tighter furrow. Would any of these options really make a difference? 

God, how was he supposed to know which ones were going to fit? 

Reaching for another box, this one black with obnoxious gold lettering, Harry practically jumped out of his skin when a shopping trolley clipped the back of his shoe. In nearly the same instant a rushed sorry came from the older woman operating the cart. 

He turned to look at her over his shoulder, ready to wave off her apology, "'S alright, no worries." 

The smile he had pinned to his face dampened when he saw the woman's gaze drop to the now three boxes in his hands. Her eyes widened just enough that it was noticeable, even if she didn't want it to be. 

She attempted to fix her features into something much more pleasant, though her smile was strained. "Have a nice day," she muttered as she continued past, her steps a touch faster than was appropriate down an empty aisle. 

The interaction lasted for less than a minute, but Harry was going to be replaying her reaction for hours on end. At least the flush bubbling under his cheeks was going to be there, whether he liked it or not. 

Fixing both the knitted cap he had over his hair and the thick hood of his sweatshirt to shadow his face a bit more, Harry tried not to feel embarrassed. This was a very, very normal thing to be doing, buying condoms. 

Not that he was having sex or anything. It's just... the opportunity was now on the table and he didn't want to be ill-prepared. Should (Y/N) decide she wanted to share something like that with him, he didn't want to put a stop to the magic because he didn't have the magic stash in his bedside table like he was supposed to.

Not that they were having sex, though. Or even said anything that could allude to changing his virgin status. 

But, (Y/N) did tend to spend the night in his room more often than not these days. They weren't exactly glued to each other's sides since he'd been brave enough to confess his feelings those couple of weeks ago, but there was definitely a shift. 

Those kisses on the cheek had changed to pecks on the lips. Quick goodbye hugs were now lingering cuddles before they were separated for the work day. Quiet declarations of seeing one another later were now often punctuated with a new three syllable sign off. Nights in front of the television dissolved into sleepovers with a single shared pillow, murmured conversations to be had about topics it appeared neither of them had been brave enough to broach prior to the night in her bedroom. 

It was kind of like (Y/N) was his... girlfriend. 

Even the thought had a new flush touching Harry's throat and climbing up his jaw. 

So, maybe he was getting a bit too ahead of himself when he dropped two of the three boxes in his basket (the ultra thin and specifically sized ones). But, he thought to himself as he began perusing another aisle in search of a quick dinner idea, it might be nice to give into some of his hope. 

Hope that she trusted him just as much as he did her. 

—————

Hunched over his desk, Harry wanted nothing more than to step into this spreadsheet and rearrange it with his bare hands. Whoever was in charge of formatting these things was going to make him go into early retirement, no—

A delicate pair of hands settled on the shelf of his shoulders. Harry started at the touch, but melted nearly immediately. He was growing to know this touch better than even his own skin. 

A soft smile bloomed on his face when he turned in his chair, lifting his headphones off of his ears. Behind him, hands now dropped to her sides, was (Y/N). Pretty as ever, fresh home from work with her hair still pinned back and sensible trousers on her legs. She came to see him before even moving into something more comfortable. 

"Hey you," he smiled, looking up at her with what he was sure was stars in his eyes. 

"Hi," she greeted, reciprocating the curl of his lips. She made a move to sit on the edge of his bed before him, relaxing into the mahogany bedding. "How's everything going?" 

Rolling his neck when he realized just how close he had craned it to look at the screen, he let out a sigh. "'S alright."

"Is it the spreadsheets?" (Y/N) asked, already reaching to place a comforting hand on his knee. Her thumb worked a circuit on the side of the joint, soothing him down more than she even knew. 

"Yeah," he breathed, "I don't want to be a problem, but I feel like I've got to talk to someone at this point. 'M having to go back and fix each one before I can even get started on m'side." 

Her clear gaze was stitched right to him, a frown pouting her lips. "Don't worry about being a problem, H. It's not fair for you to have to do twice the work, and possibly get behind on what you're supposed to be doing. Say something." 

"We'll see," he sighed, encouraged by her words but not sold on the idea of making a name for himself in the office outside of being "Quiet Harry". 

He could tell (Y/N) knew where he sat on the fence, but she didn't push him. "We'll see," she agreed, tipping her chin up, "Until then, though, are you almost done for the day?" 

Glancing at the time on the alarm clock he had situated on his bedside table, he nodded his head. "I've got ten more minutes before I can clock out." 

Her smile grew larger at his words. "Good," she started, leaning towards him conspiratorially, "We should go out tonight. If you want, anyway." 

At her suggestion, Harry could't help the way his mind flashed to Collin—Cora's brother from the night at the bars—and the way he had attempted his hand at flirting with (Y/N) many times through the night. Going out again didn't sound particularly fun. 

"I don't know, love," Harry said, canting his head as if rolling the idea around, "'S been a long week, s—" 

"H," she muttered, jaw dropping in offense, "Are you rejecting me?" 

Harry reared back at her accusation. She'd never said anything like that when he said no to bar hopping before. "No, no, I jus'... If y'want to go to the bars, I don't think—'M jus' not—" 

"I don't mean going to the bars with Rue and everyone," (Y/N) clarified, her offense turning faux with a laugh entering her tone, "I was asking you to go on a date with me." 

Realization settled on him then. To be fair, if she wanted to spend a night out with her friends, she did usually mention who exactly it was that was going out. She didn't really just ask him, not the way she had tonight anyway. 

If you want, anyway. 

"I... I didn't know," he muttered, cheeks running red and warm, "Sorry." 

A bubbling laugh fell from her lips as she leant forward and pressed her lips to his cheek ,right where his dimple would appear when she made him smile. "I figured. But, if you're tired and all, we don't have to, I was just joking before. We can plan a different night if that's easi—" 

"No, no, I want to. I really want to." 

"You're not tired?" (Y/N) pressed, taking her turn at being the incredulous one. 

"No. Not for this," he cemented, eagerly casting the thought of Collin out of his head. "We can do anything y'want tonight." 

She raised a brow. "You're sure?" 

A definitive nod came from him. 

"Well," she started, eyes sparkling and giddy, "We could go to dinner at that Italian place we like. Or, we could do something new." 

Something new. Just the string of those words brought the nerves in Harry's skin to attention. That was how she described every first Harry had with her—something new. 

The condoms in his bedside table suddenly seemed to have a spotlight directly on the drawer. 

Blinking back to (Y/N) before she could catch his distraction, he answered, "Something new." 

Her smile grew. 

—————

"Wasabi just tastes like soap to me. I don't know, it's not that spicy it's just... sudsy." 

Harry laughed at the face of disgust forming on (Y/N)'s features. If he were in a movie, he could see himself letting out a dreamy sigh as he dropped his chin to his palm, leaning across the table to get a better look at his darling. Instead, he attempted to play it cool and only let a gentle smile settle on his face as he glanced at her through his lashes. 

"Y'haven't had the right stuff, that's all," Harry offered, tipping his chin up, "When I was in Ja—" 

"When you were in Japan, you had the real stuff, I know, I know," (Y/N) cut him off, a teasing smile on her lips as she pinched another piece of her spicy salmon roll between chopsticks, "Trust me, I haven't forgotten when you left me for a whole month." 

"You could've come with me," he sang, topping his head, "I think y'would've really liked it." 

And, he wouldn't have been texting her every day several times despite the time difference, clinging to her through a screen. He would've had her at his side, experiencing something he now held so dear to his heart. 

"Maybe next time," she cemented, the same way she always did when he brought up the expedition, "We'll just have to figure out a way to get me to sleep through the whole flight, so I don't get sick." 

He knew her request was nothing but a silly joke, but there was a part of Harry that was determined to find a myriad of ways to make it so she had nothing but a pleasant experience if he was lucky enough to get her on a flight with him. 

"I'll figure something out," he said, a determined pinch appearing between his brows. 

Underneath the table, her foot knocked against his, drawing his eyes ip from where they fell to the dish of soy sauce stationed between them. He caught her eye as she looked at him, an affectionate smile draped over her features. 

"You don't have to think so hard about it, H," she laughed, "I think we've got some time. We'll figure it out together." 

Together. Together. The syllables were enough to make his heart patter a bit harder behind his ribs. The two of them being together, forming an us. For the first time ever, there was a chance Harry would be more than an I and be something with someone else. All with the one person he deemed too far out of his grasp years ago. 

He suddenly felt sheepish, with a flush creeping under the collar of his sweater. They were on a real date tonight—all under (Y/N)'s request. He didn't think anything could beat an evening in with one of their shows on the television, but this sushi dinner was becoming stiff competition. 

"What?" she asked, knocking her foot against his once more.

"Hm?" Harry blinked, focusing his gaze on her once more. Just the sight of her was enough for the flush to climb an inch higher up his throat. That was (Y/N) sitting across from him, bathed in the glow of paper lanterns with her pretty, perfect, everything eyes on him. 

"What are you thinking about? You're getting all red," she pressed, a slight smile on her lips before popping another piece of her roll in her mouth. 

Harry shook his head, feeling the swirls of his hair drift across his forehead. "Nothing, jus'... you know." 

Was it lame to acknowledge the first date while you were on it? He thought at the very least it wasn't very suave to talk about how much he was blown away by the fact they'd even made it to this benchmarker when they were still sitting across from one another. 

"'You know' what?" She leaned over her plate conspiratorially, as if in search of a secret, "Did I miss something?" 

"No, I jus' mean," he started, dropping his eyes to where he pushed around the fallen rice grains from his tuna and avocado rolls, "'S still... 'S crazy, you know—us." 

Harry watched the way her lashes fluttered, eyes turning down towards her own plate for a brief moment. "A little," she agreed, "Mostly because we said I love you before we'd even gone on a date." 

A bubbling laugh left his chest. Things were most definitely out of order between them, though he wouldn't have it any other way. This route worked in his favor, even if it was years in the making. 

"Jus' a little backwards," he nodded, dimples denting his cheeks, "But, 's worked, right?" 

"Oh yeah, definitely," she said, nudging his foot with hers. A playful sparkle entered her eyes, a sly smile on her lips. "If you'd just told me you were a virgin earlier, we probably would have gotten here a lot faster." 

Harry choked out a laugh, feeling his skin heat that much more. Maybe the whole restaurant didn't need to know about his sexual status, but it was still funny. 

"I was nervous," he muttered, shaking his head with a shy smile. "Didn't think it was a very sexy thing to tell the girl I've been in love with for years." 

(Y/N)'s brows bounced over her eyes. "Years?" 

Buying himself a minute, Harry sipped from his drink. It wasn't a secret now that he was in love with her, but it still felt nerve-racking to share the details of one of his longest held secrets. He doubted that she would be completely turned off hearing just how long he'd had his eyes on her, but it didn't make it any easier to share. 

"Since university," he murmured, moving quickly to stuff a bite of his roll in his mouth.

Her expression warmed, full of rounded edges and soft eyes. "Really?" 

He nodded. 

"I can't believe you never told me," she smiled, giving away any attention she may have paid to her dinner to land right on him, "I mean, I know why now, but... I had the biggest crush on you when we met. I just never thought you liked me back." 

"You did?" Harry blanched. He remembered many things from those first few months with (Y/N), but he didn't remember a single moment of when she may have held any affection for him. 

"Oh yeah," she solidified, "Like, bad. I told, like, all of our friends about it. But, it never seemed like you wanted anything more than to be friends, so I kind of let it go. Obviously not completely, but I thought that if you wanted something, we'd get there when we were supposed to get there." 

"And y'think we're supposed to be there now?" God, he really hoped so. 

A grin stretched over her lips. 

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." 

So much giddy energy lived in Harry's body just listening to her. This was his real life? This was what that morning in his bedroom led to? 

Despite wanting to run around, scream, scale trees, and swim the ocean, Harry nodded his head. 

"Me too." 

—————

"You know," (Y/N) started, taking her shoes off to be left in a heap by the front door, "I don't usually invite anyone inside on the first date." 

Harry's grin was dreamy as he gazed at her. "No?" 

"Oh no," she shook her head, stepping towards him. "Never. You're the exception." 

Once she was close enough, she reached up to loop her arms around her neck. Harry, complete with a pounding heart, settled his hands on her waist. The curve was more familiar to him than he ever thought he would have the privilege of knowing. He just hoped she wouldn't be able to feel the way his skin was growing clammy under her top.

"Yeah?" he prodded, liking the game she was setting forth. "Why's that?" 

"Well," she started, "First of all, you live here"—she earned a laugh out of him for that one—"Second, you made me laugh a lot tonight. Third, I think you're really hot." 

Even though he knew she was playing around, attempting to make him laugh, it was nice to hear her say those things. 

"I do live here," he cemented, tipping his head before tipping his chin down to face her, "But the rest... you mean that?" 

"Harry, you're the funniest person I've ever met," she said using the leverage of her arms around his neck to pull him lower, "And you know I think you're really hot, right? Or have I not made that clear enough?" 

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. "Maybe you need to remind me." 

Harry only saw a quick flash of the eager grin on her face before she rose to press her lips to his. It was soft and affectionate, the way she slotted her lips against his. He pulled her top lip between his two as he pulsed his hands on her waist. He could taste the honey dessert they shared at the restaurant lingering on her mouth. Even more so when he felt the barest sweep of her tongue graze his lip. 

He could feel his skin already beginning to warm, his chest pounding. The condoms he'd purchased sprung to the forefront of his mind. 

Was he being too presumptuous that she would want to sleep with him just because they'd gone on a date? Was he looking too far ahead when he pictured her wrapped in his sheets once more? It was too much to assume that she would let him replay the moment before he went on his knees for her, when he laid above her with her legs around his hips, pelvises slotted together. Right? 

It was (Y/N) that drew away first, blinking up at him with glittering eyes. "Are you okay?" 

"Hm?" His brain wasn't working very clearly at the moment. 

"Are you alright?" she asked again, concern painting her features, "You seem distracted. We don't have to do anything, you know. Just because we went on a date, and all, it doesn't mean we have to." 

His hands on her waist tensed when he realized what she was saying. She thought he didn't want to do anything more with her tonight? How she could have arrived at that conclusion when he was the one clutching at her waist as he hungrily kissed her, he wasn't sure. There were times he was sure she was living in his mind, hearing his thoughts and understanding everything he wanted before he had the chance to utter a word. Other times, like this, he wasn't sure how they were even in the same room. 

"That's—No—I'm... 'M fine," he cemented, "I jus' didn't want to make you feel like we had to do anything." 

She blinked with a flutter of lashes. "I mean I want to, but it's up to you, H."

He figured it would be a bit embarrassing if he had the mind to think of anything but (Y/N) and the turn the night was taking, but there was no time for that. Not when he had to keep his imagination in check, lest he pull her a little too close to his body and she realized just how eager he was to hear her words. 

"I want to," he rushed out, tongue tripping over itself, "I really want to." 

A small grin curled (Y/N)'s lips. Her arms around his neck shifted until she curled the strands at the nape around her fingers. "You really want to?" 

She was trying to play around with him, get him to laugh and ease him through his confession, but that wasn't where Harry's mind was going. He pulled her flush against him, feeling every curve and dip of her body against the rigid muscles of his own. He wouldn't be surprised to hear that his eyes had gone dark, pupils blown. 

"I want you," he cemented, a grumble to his voice. 

Harry watched as (Y/N)'s expression dropped into something liquid and hazy. Her lips parted with brows downturned. He couldn't help but imagine this is what she would look like pleading for him, dilated pupils and soft features. 

A beat passed. 

"Your room or mine?" 

Harry didn't have to think: "Mine." 

—————

Harry was restless as he laid back. Clad in a bold move of only sweatpants, he couldn't help but play with the strings at his waist. (Y/N) was still in the bathroom, cleansing herself of the day before returning, leaving him with too much time to himself. 

Was he ready for something like this? He didn't doubt that this was something he wanted to do with (Y/N), but he worried. Was he going to feel different in the morning? Was she going to feel different about him in the aftermath? 

God, what if he was bad? 

Maybe he should tell (Y/N) he wanted to go to bed, that he was a little too tired. That would be best, right? That way he wouldn't be able to disappoint her, or himself. When she came back, he would tell her that he really loved her still, he just wasn't feeling well—maybe he'd blame it on the sushi? That' would be believable, and then he could hope that she'd still share his bed with him and then they'd wake up in the morning and everything would be as it always was and he wouldn't have to worry about—

Stepping through the threshold, (Y/N) wore a large shirt and a smile. The makeup she donned for their date was washed away, leaving clean skin and curled lashes behind. Her hair was loose, framing her face as she gazed at him. She moved with familiarity through the room, padding on socked feet over his floor. 

"Hi you," she said once she reached the edge, climbing on the mattress towards him. "You look comfy." 

He swallowed around his dry throat. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the stretched neckline of her sleep-top, giving him a view he wanted so badly to feel bad about glimpsing. 

"Um, yeah," he muttered, blinking back to reality when she joined him on his pillow, "Jus' waiting for you." 

"Well, I'm here now. No more waiting, right?" 

No more waiting. The thought had his cock stirring in his lap. 

"Right," he muttered. 

Reaching out, (Y/N) placed her hand on his cheek. Her fingertips breached the baby curls on his hairline, thumb coasting over the height of his cheekbone. "You're still alright?" 

"Yeah," he whispered, "'M jus'... nervous." 

The curl on her lips was comforting. "What's making you nervous?" 

He turned to face her, laying on his side with their noses only inches apart. His eyes traced over her features, noting the small blemishes and marks over the soft skin, the places he wanted to kiss so badly. "I want it to be good. I want to be good." 

"You are going to be perfect. We'll be in this together, there's nothing to be scared of." 

"But," Harry started, dropping his eyes from hers to line over her jaw, "I jus' don't want to disappoint you. 'M worried I waited too long." 

A pinch appeared between her brows, incredulous. "You waiting is not going to make you disappoint me. You did what you felt was right for you, and that's okay. I mean, honestly, this is working in my favor—more for me." 

He let out a breathy laugh as she bounced her shoulder. This was the reason he had made it this far with her. She did nothing but ease him, comfort him, make every breath worth it. "You think so?" 

"I know so," she cemented, tipping her head to press her lips to his chin, "No matter what, anything that happens—or doesn't happen—tonight, isn't going to change how I feel about you. You've already got me." 

He could feel his breath being taken away. You've already got me. 

All Harry could manage to croak out was, "I love you," before he caught her mouth in a kiss. 

There was an urgency behind the affection that they hadn't started the evening with. This time, he tasted the crisp peppermint of her toothpaste only to be overpowered by the raspberry taste of her lip oil. The scent of her lotion perfumed around him, wafting through his nose and tinting his thoughts with vanilla cotton clouds. He reached out and caged an arm around her waist, pulling her tight against him. 

Their legs tangled as (Y/N) parted her lips for him. It was her that gave the first swipe of her tongue over his bottom lip, tasting with a breathing moan. Harry felt his brows knit in the middle, fingertips denting into the plush of her form. He wanted so badly to be closer to her; feeling her against his body wasn't close enough. Especially not with layers of clothing between, no matter how threadbare her top appeared to be. 

Slipping his tongue against her own, (Y/N) let out another moan into his mouth. She hooked her leg over his hip as she swept her tongue through his mouth, tasting one another more than he'd ever thought he'd have the privilege of doing. Her hand on his cheek wandered until she was sliding through his hair, nails on his scalp until she found her way to the pillow cushioning their heads. 

With her hand stationed on the pillow and leg hooked over his thigh, she made the move to roll their bodies. Harry kept her steady with his arm a cage around her waist, helping her as she moved to sit astride him. 

Harry couldn't help himself when he pulled away, eager to see her above him for the first time. (Y/N) looked down at him with swollen lips and glazed eyes. Her chest heaved with heavy breaths, her breasts pressing into the material of her top, nipples outlined. He could feel the weight of her on his lap, warm and heavy over his thickening cock. 

He was sure a look of awe molded his face, only heightened when he ran his hands over her body. The barrier of her top couldn't shield him from feeling the dips and curves. He felt the swell of her breasts and ladder of her ribs as if nothing were in the way. The heat of her form radiated out of her, painting over his already warmed palms. 

"You're so gorgeous," he muttered, feeling compelled to bathe her in praise and nothing but. "So, so gorgeous, love. 'M so fucking lucky, oh my god." 

Her smile was sweet over her kiss-swollen mouth. "I'm the lucky one," she argued, "If you could see what I see right now..." 

She trailed off when her attention was handed to the route his hands took over her body. He wanted so badly to concentrate on her words, but how could he do that when the hem of her shirt was pulled tight over the expanse of her thighs. He tucked his hands under that taut hem and pulled upwards. A breathy silence filled the room. 

More and more of her body was revealed as he tugged. Plush, dreamy thighs. Flared hips. Bare, panty-less core (he wondered if she felt the way his cock reacted at the sight). Soft stomach and curved waist. Soft skin blooming with goosebumps when he reached her ribs. The underside of her breasts. Harry's hands stalled then. 

(Y/N) nodded down at him, the permission he was looking for. 

In one final tug, Harry pulled her shirt over her head. The material fell into a pile on his floor, out of sight out of mind. Especially when he had what he did on his lap. 

Bare for his eyes only, (Y/N)'s body was presented to him in soft dips and swells. Her nipples were tight over her breasts, chest heaving as she pulled in deep breaths. Her skin was warm, soft and fragranced, drawing him in like a honeybee to a flower. Everything he ever needed was right before him—inside and out. 

He could feel his jaw go slack as he grazed his hands down her shoulders, skating down her breasts and soft stomach. All the way down to the bones of her hips and plush thighs. 

Only one thought came to mind. 

"I love you." 

The gentle smile on her face felt out of place compared to her dilated eyes and Harry's hard cock. "I love you too," she replied simply, dropping down to press her lips to his, "So much, H." 

A careful roll of her hips over his took away his breath. His mouth stilled under hers, parted in a small gape as she moved her kissing to the very corner. He frantically grabbed at her hips, fingertips denting into the soft flesh. 

He felt every tightening and shifting of her muscles when she gave another dragging rock of her core against him. Against his chest, he felt the tips of her breasts grazing over his skin. 

Fuck, she was naked. (Y/N) was naked on top of him. She was fucking him through his clothes. What the fuck is his life, what the fu—

(Y/N) swirled her hips, disrupting the shy rhythm she was developing and Harry's breathing. 

It was clear, even through the material of his sweats, that she was wet. She really did want him no matter what he lacked. 

The thought had him tightening his hold on her hips and thrusting upwards. It was (Y/N)'s turn to let out a squeaking breath, taken aback. He was sure she was able to feel just how ready he was, how desperate he was to have more, feel more, touch more of her. 

"Harry," she started, a pitch to her voice, "I—Are you.. If you're ready, I-I am. Please." 

"I am, I am," he muttered, "Jus'... I have something, hold on."

Blindly reaching for the bedside table, Harry rooted around the drawer. (Y/N) was more than distracting as she dragged her hands down his chest, bringing him back to the last time he felt such soft hands grazing his skin. 

But, he needed to focus. He needed to find the box and open the flap and pull out a condom as quickly as he could. In hindsight, he realized it might not have been the best idea to buy two separate boxes; now he couldn't be sure which one he was grabbing until it was on. 

"Do you need hel—Oh." Blinking back to reality, he saw a smile bloom over (Y/N)'s lips. "Did you buy condoms?" 

"Um," he muttered, "Maybe?" 

(Y/N) reached into the drawer herself and pulled out a foil packet with ease. She handled the shiny square, sitting back on his hips above him. 

"A little presumptuous, don't you think?" she teased as she tore the top off, "You know it's not good to assume." 

With his hands on her hips, thumbs sitting in the creases between her thighs and the small of her stomach. "I mean, you are in my bed." 

A bubbling laugh filled his room as she threw her head back. "You're right. You're just well prepared, I guess." With the foiled packet ripped open and ready, she looked at him with raised brows. "Did you...?" 

He swallowed, fighting off the sheepish flush that wanted to bloom over his bare chest. "I've never put on one before." 

"I can do it," she assured him, that gentle, patient smile on her lips. 

All it took was a nod from him before (Y/N) shuffled over his form. Sitting back, she made enough room to pull the waist of his sweats to the middle of his thighs. His cock bobbed out, ruddy head already throbbing with a thick vein on the underside. The chilled air of his bedroom was enough to have goosebumps flicking over his form. 

When he saw (Y/N) pull the rubber from the packet, he knew it was going to be in his best interest to look only at her face. He wasn't going to be able to handle the sight of her handling his cock, not when he was already so high strung. 

Of course, that plan went down the drain the second he saw her curl over and press a precursory kiss to the head of his cock. 

Why the fuck would she do that? Why would she do that when he was already teetering on the edge of his control? He could feel a blurt of precum drip over his crown. 

"Sorry," she muttered, stretching the condom from the coil made in the foil, "I just missed it and all." 

What the fuck? 

Harry didn't have another moment to dwell when he felt her begin to roll the condom over his length. He hadn't even recovered from her kiss before he was contending with the soft of her hands once more. She must have plucked the ultra-thin style from his drawer with the way he could feel every cease and ridge of her palm. His balls drew up tight against his shaft, matching the coiling pit he felt in his stomach. 

His hands on her hips grew tense, holding her tightly lest he lose control much too early. He knew good and well he wasn't going to be able to last very long at all tonight, but he didn't have to give in this quickly. 

"Does it feel okay?" (Y/N) asked, decidedly breathless compared to just a moment before.  

"Yeah, yeah," Harry babbled as she continued to stroke her hand over his length, "Feels so good." 

Too good, he wanted to amend. The muscles in his thighs and abdomen bunched, readying for something he couldn't allow to happen yet

He could hear the smile in her voice when she let out a small good but he didn't have it in him to play around or listen to her teasing. He needed to be inside her before he cut the night short before it even began. 

"S-Stop, stop," he said, reaching out to stop her touch, "Sorry." 

"Too much?" she asked, already adjusting where she sat on his thighs. 

"Too much," he agreed, "Don't wanna—Not before we've—" 

"I know," she said, filling in the blanks his stumbling left behind, "Sorry." 

"Don't be sorry," he breathed, "I love you." 

A soft blink of her lashes, short smile on her lips. "I love you, too." 

Truthfully, Harry thought he would have a moment before she moved again. But, he had to watch in awe as she raised to her knees, shuffling to hover above his stiff cock. She muttered something when she reached for his length, holding him steady before looking towards him. 

"You trust me?"

 His heart could have cracked right through his chest and made its way right to her then. "I trust you." 

Holding his breath, Harry watched as she sunk down on his cock. The warmth hit him first. 

Never had his hand—covered in lube and his own body heat—had ever felt that warm. She moved slowly, allowing her pussy to split open on him as she accepted the tip inside her channel. The tightness hit him next. He thought her throat was snug, but that had nothing on the way her walls pulsed around him, sucking him deeper and deeper. He could feel the ridges and texture, completely unique to the woman above him. Just how wet she was hit him last. A slick noise sounded when she sat down on him, clit hitting the thatch of tamed hair at his base.

He had disappeared completely inside of her. Breathless noises left (Y/N) as she adjusted, her own eyes going a bit glossy when he dared to match them. She wasn't even moving, staying stationary above him, and yet he could feel the way her insides fluttered around him each time she attempted to catch her breath. 

Her thighs were spread wide around his hips, chest heaving and skin bubbling with warmth. She placed her hands on the small of his stomach, palms molding around the blocky muscles on his abdomen. Her fingertips dug gently into him, the clarity of her nails pressing into his flesh was enough to tie him to the world. 

"(Y/N)?" he murmured, voice broken. 

"Sorry, sorry," she squeaked, "Just give m-me a second. You're—oh my god, H, you're—" 

He wanted to know exactly what it was that she thought of him, but it was its own fantasy to see her so out of it. To see her unable to even complete a sentence when he was inside her. 

Fuck, he was inside her. 

Harry was having sex with (Y/N). Holy shit. 

Almost involuntarily, he rocked his hips upwards. Her pussy clenched around him. He watched as she exhaled, the air pulled out of her. 

A call of his name filled the room, pitched and dreamy as she blinked at him with half-lidded eyes. 

"Tell me," she started, swallowing around her tongue, "Tell me if it's too much, okay?" 

Harry couldn't manage any words. He only nodded his head. 

As he watched her raise herself to her knees, his cock sliding out of her, Harry held onto her hips like a lifeline. He was going to have to hope against hope that he didn't immediately cum the second she sank down again. 

Unceremoniously, she dropped back down to his hips with a soft slap of their hips meeting. Her pussy fluttered around him, adding to the friction of her tight opening squeezing down his length. 

"Shit," he murmured, his toes curling and hands tightening. 

Spurred on by his reaction, (Y/N) performed the action against, curating a rhythm with every drop of her hips against his. Her slick opening was like a vice around him, her wetness dripping down until it smeared across his base. His balls slapped against her rear everytime she sat down, knocking the breath out of her in small uh's leaving her chest. Her breasts bounced above him, nipples tight in the open air. 

Harry laid back in awe. Pure amazement coated his brain. How pleasure like this could exist, and he could partake in it with a woman like this was a miracle in itself. 

"(Y/N)," he moaned, reaching his hands over her body. He couldn't touch enough of her, feel enough of her against his skin. "You're so—fuck—'M—" 

"I know, I know," she rushed out, nodding her head as she moved her hands to land atop his. "I want to cum with you, I want to cum with you."

 "I—I don't—" he stumbled. What was the hottest way he could tell her that he was already on borrowed time? "'M sorry, love. Y'feel too good, I can't—" 

(Y/N) cut him off with a smear of her lips against his, laying flush against his body. Her breasts pressed against his chest, sweat trapped between their bodies as her hips continued to rock against him. He couldn't help himself, bucking up against her as her walls pulsed around him. He swore he could feel the pounding of her heartbeat through their skin, the cages of their ribs.

Moans spilled from her lips as she rolled her hips against his, clit pressed against his base. Every thrust upwards, meeting her in the middle, was enough to knock calls of his name from her chest. Pussy gave snug sucks around him, pulling and pulling and pulling at everything he was willing to give. 

Her kissing was messy, off centered and clumsy, but it was the best he'd ever had. His favorite. She was his favorite everything, the best (albeit, only) he'd ever had in every way possible. His eyes scrunched closed, features screwed up in pleasure he only just realized existed. All at the hands of the woman he loved.

"Harry," she murmured, voice heavy and thick as it fanned over his mouth, "Harry, you can fi-finish whenever you want. You don't have to wait—oh my god—wait for me." 

He wasn't sure when he started speaking, but eventually he could hear the rambling mummer of his own voice declaring that he loved her over and over again. His hands roaming over her body turned into a hugging vice, keeping her tight against him as he offered sloppy kisses. His hips bucked in short, clumsy thrusts against her, the soft slaps of their skin mixing wit the slick noises of every inch of him sinking in and out of her opening. 

She was so wet, and warm, and tight, and, fuck, this was a dream. This whole moment, this night, this life was a dream he never wanted to wake up from. Not when here he was able to feel (Y/N)'s body against his, and her heart hammering out of her chest in reach of his own. Not when she was kissing him and soothing him with her own declarations of love. Not when he trusted her more than anything. 

In the pit of his stomach, Harry began unraveling. His throat ran dry, a soundless gape parting his lips. (Y/N) moved her kissing to the side of his face, over the bridge of his nose, one the height of his cheekbones. 

Different than any time he'd managed to get himself off, he was barely aware of the first ropes of his cum spurting from his body. He was much too enveloped in the feel of (Y/N) and her body to realize that the extra warmth he felt was his release filling the condom. All he felt was the blinding relief of the pounds of tension flooding from his bones. He tried to keep up with (Y/N) meeting her hips halfway as she rocked above him, her own rhythm being disrupted by the hold he had on her, but there was no room in his brain for control over his body. 

He was left to the mercy of the harsh thrusts upwards, coinciding with the roping of his cum. Clarity only sunk in when he began to come down. His release came in short bursts then, matching the aftershocks he felt at the motion of (Y/N)'s body above him. 

Drawing away just enough, (Y/N) cupped her hands around his cheeks. "H?" she asked, breathless. 

"'M here, 'm here," he croaked, nodding his head in jerky motions. "'M so sorry, I didn't—I wanted us to be together, I jus' couldn't—" 

"I know," she cut him off, her voice ever patient despite the heat lacing her veins, "It's okay, it's okay. I don't mind, I'm just happy you felt good." 

"I feel perfect, you're perfect." He could only hold her tight against his chest, uncaring of the sweat glistening on his skin. He felt better, more complete to feel her so close. "Did you...?" 

From where she burrowed into the crook of his neck, (Y/N) shook her head. "But, it's okay," she rushed out, "I don't nee—" 

"No, no," he started, "Tha's not fair, you—I want you to feel good, too." 

"I did," she insisted, "I do, but you—" 

A gasp escaped her when Harry fit his hand between their bodies. He reached where they met, hips locked together until he met the top of her slit. He could feel the way she had split open to accommodate him, slick and puffy from the way she had bounced atop him. Her clit throbbed when he pressed the pad of his finger to the bud, coinciding with the squeaking that came from the back of her throat. His own throat let out a strangled moan when he felt the way her walls fluttered and tightened around him. 

"Harry, you don't—oh my god—" 

He didn't pay her fumbling words any mind. He didn't care if she didn't think this was necessary. He wasn't going to be like the rejects before him that made so many claims and pretended to be the best, only to let her down and push her to go home without release. While he was sure he was far from her best (that would come with more practice, he hoped), he was at least going. to make sure that she left his room with something worthwhile. 

It didn't take very long before he felt her become impossibly warm around him, slick dripping around his cock. The ultra-thin rubber around his cock did little to dull the tight vice of heat around him. His breath was knocked from his lungs, his skin hypersensitive as he worked her through her own orgasm. If he hadn't already just cum, he was sure that feeling just her release alone would be enough to make him grow hard and desperate again. 

Floating back down to earth, Harry knew she was back with him when she pressed a small kiss to the line of his jaw. 

"Thanks," she peeped.

Harry let out a bubbling laugh, the edges of his voice dipped in exhaustion. "Don't thank me for that," he muttered, holding her tight as he slipped his hand away from her clit, "You're silly."

He could feel the way she smiled hearing him call her the same thing she always did him. 

"Love you," she crooned, "A lot." 

"Love you more," he countered. It was the truth. 

He couldn't imagine another being in the whole universe could be capable of holding the amount of love and affection he currently housed in his body. Not when he was the one getting to hold the most perfect woman life had to offer. 

(Y/N) nuzzled into his neck. "Sure," she teased, giving into his game for now, "We need to get cleaned up, H." 

Harry shook his head, keeping her close to him. "Five more minutes. Please." 

She didn't say anything, only melting against him. His eyes fluttered to a close, content.

—————

Harry's eyes followed his finger as he traced it down the line of her nose. He felt the even puffs of breaths fan across his hand as he reached the tip. A small, sleepy smile touched his mouth. 

He wasn't sure how early it was or just how long it'd been since he cracked his eyes open, but in the quiet of her bedroom (washing his sheets was a task they pushed off for today), time didn't seem to be real. Eternity existed in this small moment, letting him memorialize every plane and line of her features. If he could, he would lay here for the rest of his life counting each of her lashes. 

He thought he would feel so different this morning, wrapped in her sheets. He thought that his skin would feel different, or the way he felt about her might have shifted. He thought there might have been some invisible barrier that would have been lifted, something that made it clear that he wasn’t who he was a day ago. But, Harry only felt like himself. 

If anything, there was an anxiety that had lifted. There was more of him to give and he wasn’t afraid to do so. As long as it was with (Y/N), anyway.  

Focused on the sweep of his finger over her lips, Harry hadn't realized he wasn't alone until her mouth came to a pucker and kissed his digit. Flicking his gaze up to hers, he found her just barely blinking her eyes open to see him in the same morning light he was admiring her in. 

"You're awake," he murmured, voice rumbling and low. 

She gave another kiss to his finger before her mouth bloomed into a smile. "You're awake and still in bed," she teased, "Last night must have really done a number on you." 

"A little," he smiled, "Worth it." 

Tipping her chin just so, she pressed a single kiss to his lips. She took a moment to nudge her nose against his own, an affectionate puppy's kiss, before rolling away. 

Harry watched as she stretched, a breathy whimper squeaking from her chest as she curled her toes and elongated her arms. 

"H?" 

He hummed an acknowledgment, eyes drawn to the lines of her body. 

"Is it too soon to ask you to shower with me?" 

"No," he rushed out, "I mean—yes! It's not too soon, no. Yes, I want to shower with you." 

"You're silly," she laughed, shaking her head before turning her sights on him. 

The smile she had on her lips was warm and pretty, creasing the corners of her eyes. He'd follow her anywhere when she looked at him like that. Even into the unknown.

He trusts her.  

—————

cherries are thought to be the first taste of love; the fruit picked by Venus.

:)))))) final part!! o really hope you all liked going on this little journey with me! the h is so special to me so I hope you liked him and his story like I did! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and pleaseeeee let me know if you have any fun ideas or anything you want to share!

[preylamb]

Posting this at a very interaction unfriendly time, but I finished my design for @catmask and @frogcroaks monster mayhem contest!!! I never get around to actually completing entries for contests im interested in, so I couldn’t be happier!!

All that said, here’s The Sandwaste Harpy! I love her a lot and prooooobably should have linked this tumblr post for my submission cause I’m about to give even more design context and such, but. Oops. 😭 I was very excited and impatient. But yeah! More info below :]

So I almost immediately knew I wanted to draw a weird half-woman siren/harpy sort of design, as that is just my guilty pleasure and comfort zone. And I really needed a comfort zone cause I am so busy with school and my hand is HURTING. Back on track though, from there I wanted to make a creature that lures weary travelers to oasis to drown and eat them

These were some of my main inspirations, some got more attention than others. The sandfish was surprisingly my biggest inspiration though, despite how things turned out. I also took some inspiration from general reptilian and more specifically snake-like features. As well as taking the idea of upper and lower body coloring from sea creatures as a means to better camouflage with the light from above or darkness from below.

I was struggling with inspiration from there though, before I saw an unrelated monster design that leaned into the more monster woman design, with many heads at the front of it’s more monster parts chest. Which inspired me to design chicks and have them latch onto the plume, akin to how mother opossums look with all their babies. It made the design go from appealing to completely endearing to me in moments.

I imagine they are also similar to opossums in many ways involving caring for their young. One thing I note is how when an opossum mothers den is unsafe, she will leave her children and return at night/when it’s quiet and try to retrieve them when it’s safe. I’ve had that happen with an opossum mom who left around 12 of her babies in my garage in a soda can box and they were all so cute and I made sure they were left alone. BACK ON TOPIC THOUGH.

I did mess around with speckling in the design, but couldn’t find a way to convey that in a way I enjoyed, hopefully the sand coloring carries this on its own. She also originally had black hair but I accidentally made her blonde and realized how much i enjoyed that in her palette anyway and how it would better camouflage too.

Camouflage is not my favorite word to spell.

But yeah otherwise this piece also acted as a means to try out a new approach to line art. No pen pressure. I realized most artists who use defined line art I enjoy, do not use pen pressure and I often don’t enjoy the looks of high pen pressure inking in my own works so why. Was I using pen pressure. I don’t know. Anyway I love how this looks and it was so easy on my pained wrists so I will have to do more of this :]!!!

[vxsellie]

UHH IM THER PERSON WHO ASKED FOR FIREFIGHTER!ElLLIE HEADCANONS AND TBH IDRM😇

synopsis. more aflame headcannons bc anon sent a second ask saying they actually want it to be specific LMAO

notes. when i tell you my inbox is flooded with questions about aflame / whether there will be a part two / etc etc etc, i mean it's FLOODED. ive said no to a part two, but i decided doing this for u guys might settle u down & put a rest to the millions of asks i get daily on that fic also! i already posted a small thing about ellie & the reader's life together following the story, but i will be repeating things from that post

warnings. mentions of grief (unnamed character dw), discussion of infant death (also unnamed but still a bit heavy), eventual sex (not necessarily smut but enough that i feel i should put a warning)

𐙚 after everything, you ended up staying with ellie for about a month

𐙚 okay so you obviously ended up staying with her & lived happily ever after

𐙚 but lets yap about the slow burn era that inevitably took place beforehand shall we

𐙚 first of all! for the first two weeks, she gave you her room and insisted on sleeping on the couch. you, of course, felt horribly guilty. but ellie was set on giving you the good option & she's quite the force to be reckoned with when she's arguing.

𐙚 so you eventually just gave in and slept in her bed.

𐙚 it was warm and clean and smelled like her. you loved it. the only thing it was missing, however, was her.

𐙚 to make matters worse, you knew ellie was only a short distance from you & yet it felt like you were eons apart. you felt the empty space in her bed like a hole in the earth, always hard to face whilst simultaneously always begging for your attention.

𐙚 understandably, these two weeks spent in separate sleeping quarters was nigh unbearable for you. but you felt out of place to bring it up. i mean, you'd only known her for a short amount of time. who were you to tell her to change the layout she'd si graciously designed for you?

𐙚 you spent the nights yearning for a woman whose touch you'd barely known, cold despite the heavy blankets atop you.

𐙚 but the days were amazing.

𐙚 you'd developed the habit of cooking breakfast after making it that first morning as a thanks for her hospitality. but after seeing the bright look on her face, you'd instantly decided you wanted to make her breakfast every day for the rest of your life.

𐙚 then, following breakfast, you'd get ready in the small bathroom. the first few days, you bumped into one another an immeasurable number of times, ellie apologizing over & over for the lack of space. but you loved it. it felt more intimate, seeing her rush while brushing her teeth because she'd woken up late. it felt like a life you could get used to. one with her.

𐙚 ellie continued to go to work, throwing on her uniform that you tried your hardest not to swoon over seeing her in. that thin black tank top she wears without a bra? fuck you had to force yourself to look away when she stretched her arms up to brush her hair.

𐙚 when she was gone, you spent your time looking for a new place to stay, lazing about the couch with the tv playing low in the background.

𐙚 oh and also! your fucking boss fired you. despite having worked at that stupid grocer for a year now, he didn't hesitate to fire you after missing a few days. you'd even told him that your apartment burned down. he was insistent that punctuality was key. god you hated him.

𐙚 though, your hatred dulled in comparison to the pure rage ellie felt when you told her the news. she was absolutely appalled that someone could be so inhumane as to not give a damn that your home was now a pile of ash on some pavement. she begged you for his number, promising not to say anything bad. but you knew her better than that. you knew she'd call him insults that'd destroy his elderly pea brain. so, apologetically, you refused her his phone number.

𐙚 so, while ellie was away, you also browsed your laptop for open job opportunities near you.

𐙚 ellie said that she could talk miller into hiring you, but you weren't so sure the life of firefighting was for you. plus, you liked seeing ellie in her uniform without having to experience the obligations that come with it.

𐙚 when ellie got home from work every day, she'd be sweaty and gross and exhausted. she'd formed the habit of flopping down on the couch as soon as she gets home, but you've managed to rid her of that once you saw the grimy muck she'd left on the cushions. she's now learned to shower and change before getting on any furniture. honestly, she seems to like that habit more anyway. she refuses to admit it, but you can tell she enjoys the warm water relaxing her muscles and washing away her fatigue.

𐙚 amber also loved it there, alternating between cuddling up with you in ellie's bed or snuggling at ellie's feet on the couch.

𐙚 well, until the day you guys decided to sleep in the same bed.

𐙚 she had come home after a particularly taxing day at work — the first rescue she'd carried out since saving you. it was a single mother and two twin infants. one of the twins didn't make it, sending the mother into a grief ridden spiral. she was sobbing and angry and needed someone to blame. she ended up blaming ellie, the woman whose name she didn't even know. it was horrible. not that ellie could blame her for it. grief comes in every shape and form, and for this woman she just so happened to take the sharp end of the sword.

𐙚 ellie, being who she was, stayed relatively composed during the event itself. the woman banged on her chest as she wailed, shouting that she should have done more and she would have preferred to have burned.

𐙚 eventually, one of Ellie's coworkers dragged the woman away from her and ellie was excused to go home early.

𐙚 when she got back, she was absolutely distraught.

𐙚 you had just made a new recipe and were waiting in the kitchen for ellie to return with a bright grin on your face. but the moment she walked through the door, your smile shattered.

𐙚 her uniform was scorched and torn, her face lined with filth. and, oh, her expression was heart wrenching. her lips were parted, eyes blank as they stared at the floor. she trudged into the living space, shoulders trembling ever so slightly, and flopped down onto the sofa in a manner you hadn't seen her do in quite some time.

𐙚 you were quick to rush to her side, crouching down beside her as you asked what happened. in a shaky voice, she explained that she'd gotten a baby killed. the pure regret and guilt in her tone made your heart crumble a little in your chest.

𐙚 you moved to sit on the edge of the couch, pulling ellie into your arms as you held her. the feel of your body against hers was all it took for her to break down into tears.

𐙚 she tried her hardest to remain dignified, tears falling silently. but when you began to run your hands through her hair and mutter sweet words of consolations, her cries were less orderly as she clung to you and repeated over & over how it was all her fault.

𐙚 for the rest of that night, she was unable to leave your side. she made you sit on the toilet while she showered. then she made you stay in the bathroom while she changed (you turned around). then you two ate dinner together on the couch while watching a funny adult cartoon to cheer her up, your legs touching at all times.

𐙚 so, when it came time for bed, you'd have been cruel not to offer her the empty space beside you.

𐙚 to say she was excited would be an understatement.

𐙚 you guys laid in silence for a bit, comfortable in the company of the other. but then she spoke into the darkness, her tone thick with the weight of all she'd bore that day. she explained everything in more detail, telling you the story without the bias of her guilt.

𐙚 her voice cracked when she got to the boy's death, her voice pitching higher as she fought a second wave of tears.

𐙚 you shifted toward her, sheets rustling in the darkness. you felt around for her, hand eventually finding her body. you pulled her into a warm embrace, holding all of her vulnerability and grief in your two arms as she relaxed into you, melting against the foreign gentility.

𐙚 after that night, you guys started sharing the bed.

𐙚 amber loved it, of course. both her people in one space? absolute heaven for the elderly cat. some nights, she would curl up in the crook behind your knees & other times she'd find comfort atop ellie's face, causing her to wake coughing and hacking up balls of fur.

𐙚 your guys life was one of (much deserved) bliss and domestic comfort after a long period of difficulty.

𐙚 you had yet to do anything actually romantic. but sharing the home felt just as intimate as kissing would have been. though, you ought to admit, you definitely had your fair share of fantasies when it came to that.

𐙚 anyway!

𐙚 and all the while, you sought out a new place to stay

𐙚 you didn't want to move out of ellie's tiny cottage of a home, but you'd have felt horrible asking her to stay permanently when your relationship wasn't even a solidified thing just yet. and so, you searched the internet for worthy places to house you.

𐙚 ellie avoided the topic of you finding a new home, changing the subject whenever it came up & trying to distract you with something else whenever she saw you were looking at houses. you caught on to this, of course. but frankly, you found it endearing and just let it be. you didn't want to draw attention to her blatant distaste for you leaving, for fear that it'd embarrass her. so you feigned oblivion.

𐙚 ellie went with you to every open-house, claiming she just wanted to watch out for creepy realtors. however, whenever you seemed to genuinely like a house, ellie would find something to complain about to make you no longer want to buy it

𐙚 at first, you let it slide because you knew the two of you were beginning to form some kind of bond.

𐙚 but you eventually had to butt in when you spotted her paying off a realtor when they'd both thought you were checking out a different room. she apologized endlessly for it, but never gave an explanation until you practically forced it out of her, asking what the hell she thought she was doing.

𐙚 that's when it all unraveled.

𐙚 on the property of some random shabby house in an impoverished neighborhood, in a kitchen composed of rotted wood cabinets and peeling wallpaper and chipped floor tiles, ellie confessed her feelings for you. and it couldn't have been more perfect.

𐙚 the realtor had obviously left the scene beforehand, fleeing from shock when you'd walked in on him accepting a wad of cash from ellie.

𐙚 and there you stood, in the hollow house, her words of adorations echoing off the walls. her eyes were everywhere but your face, avoiding making eye contact with you. eventually, you'd grown sick of her rambling and just grabbed her by the cheeks and kissed her.

𐙚 it was a quick peck. a small pressing of lips, just to test the waters and silence her uncertainty. when you pulled back, her face still between your hands, her pupils were blown and her jaw was slackened. you laughed at her, a chuckle rumbling your chest.

𐙚 she gasps, offended by your judgement. but you couldn't stop laughing. she eventually reconnected your mouths, her turn to silence you.

𐙚 this kiss was far more passionate, her hands coming to rest on your hips as her tongue slid across your lower lip. you opened your mouth to allow her entry & she took it vehemently, tongue exploring the warmth of your mouth.

𐙚 from then on, you guys were inseparable in a whole new fashion. the moment you'd gotten home that day, she dragged your straight to the bedroom and memorized the curves and dips of your body with her tongue, giving so much care to your being that you were sure she'd eventually run out of love to give.

𐙚 your hands gripped the tufts of her hair as she buried her face between your legs and continued her memorization down there, your head thrown back in pleasure.

𐙚 you'd eventually lost count of how many rounds the two of you went, a thick layer of sweat clinging to your skin as she shyly asked if you had anything left in you. and of course, you could never deny her anything. you giggled before rolling over to tackle her to the bed, eyes full of nothing short of love.

𐙚 you two only stopped when pounding could be heard on the door.

𐙚 ellie rushed to pull her clothes back on as you did the same, her voice shouting at the visitor to just wait a damn second. though, when she opened the door, it was agnes.

𐙚 she pushed past ellie and went straight to you, though you were still pulling a shirt over your head.

𐙚 she beckoned the two of you to the living room, you and ellie both flushed and out of breath as you sat down across from her. every time you two made eye contact, you had to look away before you hopped right across that table and fucked her again.

𐙚 agnes made small talk for a little bit, asking you about work & whether you'd found another place to stay. though, when you shyly explained that you were planning to live with ellie, she scoffed loudly and said,

𐙚 "oh, finally! i was waiting for one of you to tell me. i'm not a fool, dear, i can tell you've been fucking like rabbits. just didn't know i'd have to force it outta you."

𐙚 from there on out, it was no longer awkward. she was herself again, making suggestive comments to you and passive aggressive ones to ellie. and when amber came up to her for cuddles, she stayed for another two hours just holding the cat.

𐙚 needless to say, you and ellie managed quite well. you have yourself the most perfect life you could ask for and all the family you could need (even if it's just agnes barging in on you guys whenever she pleases). honestly, you couldn't ask for anything else.

[mywritersmind]

CASANOVA - LN4

summary : You can’t help but watch him, night after night it’s the same. He’s magnetic and every woman who he takes home doesn’t see it. But you see right though him. The only issue? When he notices the feel of your eyes upon him, he seems to like that you understand his game.

listen up : player!lando. kinda is giving mysterious and a bit slutty in a sirius black way? reader is observant.

word count : 661

⋆｡‧˚⋆

You watch him charm the room, specifically the woman in it. You watch as they fall all over him, flashing his rolex and sipping his champagne at just the right moments.

You watch his hand drift to a pretty girl's waist, watch his tongue dart over his lips and watch her eyes fall to them.

You watch him.

It’s become some sort of tradition, eyeing his moves and how he operates. You notice he always ends up with a hand on the woman’s waist, whispering sweet nothings in their ear.

Tonight though, you notice a change in his usual plan. His eyes stray to you.

Before you know it, Him and his perfectly tailored suit are walking towards you.

“Shit.” You mumble, turning to Charles but he’s already occupied. You stand quickly, flipping your hair behind your shoulder as you watch past the man approaching you like he’s nothing.

You hear him scoff a bit, then the footsteps follow.

The smooth jazz washes over you as you sit at the bar, requesting a glass of wine. “You’ve been watching me.” Just like that, you’ve been caught.

You turn around on the stool, smiling politely, “Lando, Right?”

He bites his lip, nodding. When you don’t say your name he speaks up, “Care to grace me with what you’re called?”

You turn back to the bartender, taking your drink as Lando leans on the counter, hovering over you, “I haven’t been watching you.” You say softly, sipping the drink.

“Stalking, then?” Your brow quirks, whipping around to stare at the devilishly handsome man.

“Cocky, are we?” You roll your eyes and stand, he follows.

“You’re Charles’ friend?” You say nothing, continuing to walk away, “Come on, pretty, I won’t bite.”

You sink into the couch, far away from the others and purposefully farthest from Charles. As you sit, Lando joins, “I like your dress.”

“I liked you better from afar.” You say simply, he tilts his head a bit, biting back a laugh.

“So you admit it, you were watching me.”

“I can’t help but be curious.” You shrug and when he scrunches his face in confusion you sigh, “You seem to be quite popular. It’s hard not to watch people fall at your feet.”

His eyebrows raise, “And here I thought you were watching me because you found me attractive.”

“Well, that was a plus, I suppose.” Lando grins at this.

“So pretty… if you won’t let me know your name, at least give me your backstory… or the reason why you’re so curious about me.”

“I was intrigued by the amount of women who come to you. And the amount you leave with.”

“You calling me a slut, pretty?” Your eyes narrow at the newfound nickname.

“No, I'm calling you a casanova.” His tongue pokes the inside of his mouth. You sit back into the couch as Lando scoots closer, “It’s not a bad thing. You’re just enjoying yourself.”

He doesn’t miss a beat, “I’d enjoy myself with you.” You shake your head at his words, sipping your wine as he leans in and whispers, “If you won’t tell me about yourself, then tell me about me.”

Your head tilts to the side a bit, your eyes wandering up his body, a bit too interested in the driver, “You talk all sweet, you always touch the girls. Never weirdly but it makes them like you, the hand on their waist. You keep eye contact. You act shy. You whisper in their ear. Just like you’re doing now.” He moves back a bit, almost like he was doing it unconsciously, “Isn’t that right, pretty?” you copy the nickname, a smirk finding its way onto his face.

Lando taps his fingers against your knee, meeting your eyes, “I like you.”

You understand the woman who goes home with him, maybe you want to be like them. Still, you just shake your head, “And there’s your downfall.”