#like they have dreams and stuff but mostly they're not about needing to make things

[hexjulia]

i feel like i might actually physically explode if i continue like this but it's not like there's really an alternative

[augustjustice]

(Inspired by the fact I just saw that Chocolate Guy video where Tony Hawk shows up at the end.)

Normal Guy Steve AU this, Famous Steve AU that...

What about Just Some Guy Famous Actor Steve Harrington AU?

After the teens leave Hawkins, Corroded Coffin really starting to make it big and Steve following them out to LA when they get a record deal, he finds himself sort of stumbling into an acting career. I mean, that's what all his co-workers at the gay bar are doing, trying to get their big break, so why not? Steve's certainly picked up enough theatrics between drama kid Robin and theater kid drop out Eddie that it can't be that hard, right? It'll be fun for a good laugh afterwards, at least.

Steve knocks his first audition out of the park, and a few 90s rom-coms and slicked up action movies later, he's officially a Hollywood heartthrob. He and Eddie make for quite the celebrity couple, once they're able to officially come out in the early part of the 2000s (still a very bold move for the time, and one they're equally as known for as their respective careers).

Once he and Eddie settle down, get married in one of the few states that will allow it and have a couple kids, Steve take a step back from his career to focus on raising them. After all, his real dream has always been him and Eddie and some munchkins in the back of an RV for the summer, and he's not about to miss out on that now that he finally has it. He still picks up some roles, sure, but they're mostly more character driven stuff, bit parts in shows he enjoys or smaller indie driven films.

But the funny thing is, that after that point, whenever they're out in public...nobody ever recognizes Steve.

It's not even like he looks that different. He's just exuding such normal, middle aged Dad™ energy with his glasses and his sweater sets that no one puts the pieces together.

This leads to a lot of conversations like this-

TSA agent: Wow, Steven Harrington, huh? Just like that big movie star from back in the day!

Steve: Exactly like that.

TSA agent: I haven't seen him in anything in a minute. Wonder what that guy is up to now?

Steve: ...This, probably.

Steve finds this absolutely hilarious, even more so because it completely outrages Eddie.

"What the hell, man?" Eddie demands as they board the plane--holding off on making a scene until now that it's just the two of them. "How could he not recognize you? How? What, has that pleb never seen a movie in his entire life?"

"I don't know, Eds, maybe I just have one of those forgettable faces," Steve teases, as always enjoying seeing Eddie pissed off enough he drops into sheer high school levels of tirade. Pleb, even.

"...Stevie, my love, my light, you have the most beautiful face since Aphrodite. More, probably," Eddie knows his Greek mythology, he remembers what happened to Paris, but the gods can just try it. He said what he said, and he meant it. "That guy clearly needs to get his eyes checked."

[alastor-x-reader-stories]

Radio Dream - Alastor x Reader (platonic or romantic)

"Do you think I can go into that Radio Tower?" you said

"Not unless you want to die again." Husk responded with a grunt.

"Why would you wanna go into dat thing anyway?" Angel said, leaning his cheek on one hand while the other held his drink.

You were sitting at the bar with Angel and Husk, just chatting about random insignificant drunk topics. Then your curiosity of the radio tower mounted on the hotel caught up to you. Leading to the conversation read not too long ago.

Alastor stood around the corner, just out of sight of the bar patrons. His ear flicked and his grin strained when you asked your foolish question, but Angel Dust's question had him pause before he could flay you.

Why did you? Sabotage? Vandalism? Just to be annoying-?

"I was just remembering how much I wanted to be radio show host when I was a little kid." You said in a sigh.

...Ooh?

"Oh? Really? Aren't ya... y'know, not ancient?" Angel said. He took a sip so you could respond. Husk was paying attention to you now as well, giving you a side-eye as he cleaned whatever glassware needed to be cleaned.

You sighed again, long and drawn out. There was a bit of dreaminess to your tone, a bit of longing. "Yeah, that's why I never really pursued it. My folks were like 'that's nice and all but that's going out of style and you can't make a living off of it, be more realistic.'" You snorted a bit in agitation at that, taking another slow sip of your drink. After a moment you continued.

"I used to have such a good time playing radio host. I'd sit in the living room or dining room, wherever people were, and make like a box fort or something with my cd player with me. I'd talk into a stick or spoon or whisk or something and talk about random topics or play music. Sometimes I'd 'take phone calls', which were mostly just me pretending to give myself a phone call." You chuckled "I would start a lot of 'drama' like that. Sometimes my family members would give suggestions and I'd play it up and play whatever song they asked. Assuming it was on one of the three CDs I was allowed to use."

"That's cute." Angel hummed "Other than the CDs and stuff, your show doesn't sound that much different from Alastor's."

Husk snorted "Nah, they're show sounds MUCH less annoying."

You barked out a laugh- clearly intoxicated "How dare you! I'm sure I could be a LOT more annoying!" You devolved into a hysterical giggle fit, your face hitting the bar counter in front of you.

"All right, I think you've had enough." Husk grunted, taking what was left of your drink from you.

"fair." You said into the counter.

The conversation carried on from there, and Alastor slinked away to his tower. He stood there a moment, his arms crossed behind his back as his eyes did a brief scan over the room.

When he was young, he did something similar. Granted it was a record player, not a see-dee or whatever you were rambling about. His mother would play along and encourage him, pretending to send letters in or be a guest on his show.

Hearing your story gave him a bit of a warm feeling in his chest. It was good knowing someone out there still appreciated the medium, even if it was likely unrealistic.

Well... Alastor supposed there was really no harm in it, assuming he was there to supervise...

A couple days later and Alastor trotted up to you, offering a tour of the radio tower.

For a brief moment, your eyes practically lit up - shining in delight. The expression did something to his chest, as it suddenly felt far too tight. But not in an...unpleasant way.

However, the next moment you looked downright terrified.

Not as pleasant. Not even funny. He had no idea why.

"Are you going to kill me or whatever?" You said, slowly taking a step back.

Alastor laughed "Not at all, my dear! I simply overheard your drunken conversation the other night and decided to indulge your childhood fantasy."

You snorted "Yeah I'm not selling you my soul for that."

Alastor waved you off, scoffing "Oh heavens, I wasn't asking for your soul." He gave you a bright grin- one that seemed less like a grin and more like a soft smile. "I simply ask you don't, how do people say now a days... 'wreck my shit'."

You giggled a bit into your palm. Apparently Alastor had said something funny.

"...Really? You'll just...let me look?"

"Certainly!" He put an arm across your shoulders, guiding you down the halls in the direction of his station. "Why it's been- unfortunately- quite some time since I heard such a passionate speech for the radio!"

Your face flushed a bright red "Well, hold on, it wasn't a 'speech'-"

"Nope! More like a couple sentences. But you know how it is," He used his free hand to do a jazzy motion "In show-business!"

You snorted "Mmm.... I guess so. Though, really, i've never been a very 'show business' kind of person."

"Nonsense! Once you have it, my dear, you never truly lose it. It just needs a little spark and then you'll have the flames all over again!"

"Are we talking about showmanship or arson?"

"Why not both!"

You laughed. His chest did that pleasant squeeze again. Maybe he'll allow you to sit in on a broadcast one of these days....Well, that was a future question.

--------------

Hi it's me the writer. I actually did the things that the reader talked about in this. It was a lot of fun for me and my attention-hungry existence. My parents didn't really dissuade me from it though. But. Uh. I think it was more like a 'entertain the child's whims' kind of thought. Which was fair, because I didn't exactly pursue that long. Though I still had fun playing it and figured i'd write something short about it. The three CDs I used were "Wicked", "Pokemon", and "The Shrek Soundtrack". Favorite songs to play from them, in order "No Good Deed", "The Pokemon Rap", and "Accidentally in Love" That info isn't important to anyone but me so i shared it anyway lol.

[cherry-romper]

What they're like

+ Kafka, Reno, Iharu, Haruichi, Aoi, Hoshina, Gen

Kafka;

What a fucking himbo

Is so incredibly dedicated to his dream it's so admirable but can be a yapper about it - mostly to do with Kaiju anatomy, his yap sessions end with everyone scrambling to take notes.

Isn't aware of how much people respect and care for him.

Sometimes can be a little overbearing, he DOES NOT have an inside voice. Reno and you often keeps him in check but he insists he's not talking loud.

Tells the DUMBEST jokes: "What two words, when combined, hold the most letters?" Then he'd piss himself telling everyone it's "post office"

Is unaware of his improving strength and tends to expect things to be heavier than they are and ends up launching things across a room.

Sometimes gets withdrawals from quitting cigarettes, especially after a stressful day and can get kinda irritable, but being around you and his friends helps curb the cravings. 

Reno;

Opinionated, always willing to give out advice but doesn't often give it without being asked.

Loves doing things for people. Will go out of his way get people stuff if they need it but also knows how to put himself first.

Often quiet in social situations, more of a people watcher than pleaser

Very focused of improving, you can often find him in the training room or library when he has free time

Pushes people to do their best.

Is so down to help people if they ask him no matter what it is.

Once he's started something he'll see it through no matter what.

He's stubborn to a fault

Iharu;

Hot headed but level headed

Easy to talk to, but often only talks about work - kinda to be expected.

Lightens up every room he's in

Doesn't like to see his comrades down in the dumps so will try his hardest to put a smile on their faces

The hypeman of all hypemen

Smart asf, doesn't need help studying but is so down for group study sessions

Can be quite envious of others constantly improving, sometimes you'll find him staring off Into space thinking about improving, lost in deep thought - often he won't even notice you till you shake him out of it, he will shout at you for "not announcing" yourself.

 Can be quite flirty on and off the field but mostly when his adrenaline is pumping. Back and forth banter and teasing insults do something to him.

Haruichi;

Rich boy with really good manners

Cares about his comrades and treats them to meals when they all have the time

Has a skincare and haircare routine

Sleeps with a silk pillow

Absolutely loves having little rivalries with people, it pushes him to be a better fighter.

Completely dedicated to the force but the reservations about his family and the company he'll inherit one day sometimes hold him back from giving his all.

Takes mental notes on how the suits could be improved while he's fighting.

Aoi;

Built like a brick.

Abs like a washboard.

As dense as his body is, he's very agile and quick to move.

Heaviest footsteps known to man

He absolutely loves his peace and quiet, though he's used to having to share his space and time.

Is big on respect but it's something he believes should be earned and not given.

Being ex-military, he's BIG on routines. Doesn't realise he even has one but you've noticed his little patterns.

Light sleeper, but quick to fall asleep. Once his head hits the pillow he is OUT.

Hoshina;

Is terrifying when he's serious and knows it. He loves pretending to be serious to scare people, he finds their reactions hilarious. 

Finds everything funny. Will laugh just to fill silence. 

Always smiling, its almost uncanny. 

Loves his comrades but isn't one to admit that. 

Sometimes he'll go quiet in social situations and just watch everyone messing around, those little moments are his favourite and he treasures them.

Will linger over peoples shoulders when they're studying then make disappointed faces at their work, known nothing they wrote is wrong, he just finds it funny that he made them paranoid. 

Narumi;

Will only give you the time of day if you're good. If you're average or below when it comes to combat, he will not even know your name.

Egotistical beyond comprehension. 

Cocky and sarcastic, gets away with talking back because he's the strongest. 

Adores back and forth teasing. If you can match him in combat he expects you to match him in wit too. 

Finds comfort in his own mess, reminds him he's still alive (he's just lazy)

Likes making little nooks/nests out of pillows to sleep/game in. Also a big fan of pillow forts.

[pokespe-rainbow]

Any Tmnt Iteration x Spiderman!Reader: I care

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There's an imperceptible point between feeling your conscious come back and the exact moment you're back from the land of dreams. It's similar to when you turn on the computer and all those Windows and [Insert Company Name Here] starts to appear before you can actually use your computer to something. You get it that feeling?

A moment you were on that limbo, and the next one, you'll find yourself waking up and gasping for air and the person carrying you stirr.

"Donnie!?" - calls Leo's voice, your brain process his voice in a slow rhythm, but your instinc tells you who's who - "I think they're waking up"

"Perfect. Leo, put them on the stretcher, Raph, I need to stay on the back in the case they had an emergency, so you'll drive. " - Oh, it's purple…. Purple?

You don't know anyone that's named Purple. Weird. It feels like a Purple. Their voice sounds like a Purple. How could a Purple sound…?

You're left on a kind of hard surface. It's kind of soft. It feels good to rest your head.

"[S/n] don't freak out. You were unconscious for a few minutes, but you're on our van, and we're going to the lair to check on you? Okay?" - Purple…? You know who's Purple, you know that's not their real name…. But it feels right.. - "[S/n]? It's okay if I remove your mask to check on you?"

Mask? No, the mask is important! The mask is their safety net, the only thing that keep [S/n] and [Name] apart. Purple can't take this from you, he can't!

"Okay, no mask, got it" - there's a weight on your shoulder, a hand peraphs. Your six sense didn't warn you. Why? - "Just wanted to make sure you're breathing without an issue. Okay? We're not doing anything you don't feel comfortable with" - Purple looked at Blue- "Leo, talk to them to keep them entertained. I'll see if there's a way to check them without removing the suit. If we need to get to those stances, I want to have their consent to take off the mask, but I don't believe they're on their right mind in this moment. "

And with that, Purple had disappeared from your view. Your brain seemed disconnected from your body. Just thinking about anything seemed to tire you out. You feel like you're forgetting something really important. You groaned of frustration, and even thar came out as a weak rumble from your throat.

There was a movement there and someone was sitting on the side of the van, near to where you were laying.

"I … Never really got to thank you…" - starts. Oh, it's Blue. You know their real name isn't Blue, but kind of fits. And they're talking to you - "For… For everything" - Blue hufs - "For being Mikey's friend and cheer him up, like, he doesn't shut up about you. I think you're his favorite person now. Or spider or… I don't know, superhero?"

When Blue talks the word he's using comes out muffled, like someone put cotton on your ear canal to block the sound. But you still recognize it. An orange sky with the clouds slowly turning pink on the borders, but orange nothingless.

You like Orange. It's not an assumption. Its a fact. Someone for who it would be worth to kill for. Orange is a friend? Family?

"I guess… I kind of was— I still I'm… Jealous of you" - Blue take a deep breath - "And scared" - Leo looked at his hands, taking notice of the small scars on his palms - "You connected with Mikey, and Donnie, and maybe with Raph on a level I may never archive, and I'm their older brother! I should know stuff! It's like I stopped being their brother the moment Dad made me Leader!" - he grabbed his head between his hands, huffing and holding his breath, a realization comr to him as he slowly opened his eyes - "That's it… I stopped being their brother. "

Blue grunted and hid his face, closing his eyes and avoiding to look at you. Rude. But you could recognize the emotions that were passing on Blue's face. Shame, mostly. Regret. You knew that on a personal level. Sadness. Heh. Blue was feeling blue. Haha.

"I'm an idiot" - muttered Leo - "The answer was in front of my eyes all this time, and I didn't notice"

You grunted a little bit, the sensibility on your arm had come with a wave of confortable heat that passed through the arm's nerves. What was Blue talking about? Raph Red Donnie Purple and Mikey Orange were still there. They were there. Not dead. Blue hasn't gotten them killed. Blue Leo keep them safe. Blue was their brother. Not you.

A palm was pressed on Leo's arm, with the angle throwing all its weight on him. He knew who was the closest person to him. You were looking at him.

"Dum-dum" - Dumb, you wanted to say. But your muscles won't respond to you

The whole situation was exhausting and your muscles started to get sore. You felt like just taking a bottle of ibuprofen, blame the spider for needing higher dosis of analgesics, before undefinetly passing out.

Have you ever got so drunk to the point you're fumbling nonsense? Nothing actually settles until the next day when the lights burn your eyes and a pounding headache crushing your skull. Ugh. Please, someone, get the number of the truck that hit you. Ugh.

You feel something come rising from your chest at the same time you pull yourself up from whatever surface you're laying on. You can't breathe properly. Something's blocking the way in. The nausea rises up and the impending feeling of doom makes you realize something horrible.

You're about to puke.

You want to hold it back and avoid to spilling your insides all over the floor.

You hear yourself gag and sharply inhale the smell of antiseptic and cleaning products.

Could just as well to say 'fuck it' and spill everything on the damn floor

There were muffled sounds around you, and the sound of heavy steps, too big to be an average human being, come rushing to your direction. No tingle in the back of your mind. No threat.

A bin, not empty by the way, full with papers and a little bit of dust was handed to you, and that was the only sign needed to curl over the bin, and what come next couldn't be put in words, but wasn't recommended.

You emptied your stomach after the third round and let the bin be taken away from you. Your mouth tasted like shit, your breath was probably ten times worse, filled with stomach acid and bits of processed food. By reflex you tried to wipe the dirt from the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand, and that's when you stopped.

You were on your suit.

And you didn't have your mask on.

Practically jumped from your place as scanning your surroundings. Familiar. You're been there before.

"—okay, you're on our lair" - came Donnie's voice as someone guided you to sit back on the stretcher - "I apologize for taking off your mask, but it was the only way to made you a proper checkout in case of something else going on" - Donnie stepped away from you, passing you a glass of water

You took a sip of the water, instead of drinking it, you used it to clean the remainings of your stomach content and spit it on the bin. Chugging the rest of the water and giving Donnie the glass back.

"Where's my mask?" - you ask, raspy voice and a light sting on your throat

"On the counter, glad to have you speaking again, but I guess that healing factor comes handy" - he smiles tiredly, his face is kind of pale and there's signals of lack of sleep - "But I really need to gave tou another round of checks ups before letting you go"

You look around the room uncomfortable, kind of feeling naked without your mask. But it's Donnie the one we're talking about. He wouldn't use your secret identity against you… Right?

"You know?" - speaks Donnie, as he uses a tiny flashlight, from thar ones that usually comes in key ring, or do they have another name? - "Both pupils shiw response to the light, good" - he turns off the flashlight - "I expected you to be more.. Spider like, I guess" - he starts talking - "When something is touched by the mutagen is mainly affected by the last organic matter they interacted with, some mutants even grow appendages, you don't seem really affected by it"

"What…?" - you muttered - "That's how you guys….?" - you signaled but stopped your tracks - "Sorry"

"Don't be" - Donnie turns his caparace at you, searching for something on the cabinets - "We've been asked that question multiple times. And yes, that's how it happened, as the last thing that we interacted with was a human being, and I guess that also explains the lack of a tail"

You just blinked at Donatello, mot actually processing what he just said - "I broke a statue of an affrican god in a museum exhibit and a spider crawled out of it and bite me. I don't know what you're talking about. "

Donnie stopped his tracks and turned back at you, incredulously written all over his face - "You're pulling my leg. "

"No, it happened. When I woke up, the statue was intact, and I was built like a bodybuilder. It happened" - you said with seriousness. Your arachnophobia disappeared as well almost entirely.

The purple brother stared at you, agap expression and open mouth, before shaking his head and rising his hands - "You know what, I'm calling a day, I'm a talking turtle, who I'm I to judge your origin story. "

Something was thrown at you, catched it without problems and gave a look at it. Your mask was intact, except for some dirt iver here adm there. The suit probably needed a day on the laundry.

"What time is it anyway?" - you asked while putting your mask on

"One in the morning" - said Donatello

One in the— FRICK!

"Shoot!" - you exclaimed - "I gotta go!"

"Hold up" - Donnie positioned before you, blocking your way - "I know you have a live to return after this, I know I can't hold you until you're fully recovered because you're as stubborn as Leo, but please listen to me"

You opened your mouth to complain but sighed and crossed your arms - "Go on."

"First, this isn't over. You got freaking electrocuted on Live Tv, so there's no way you're denying that! I want to monitor your recovering for the next month, so don't even think about skipping out these checks ups, New York can wait" - he amonested you, like a mother to a child, to your annoyance - "Second, almost everyone is asleep now, but I want you to have a talk with Leo"

"What's up with Captain Killjoy?"

"You may not remember anything, but Leo didn't leave your side from the moment you went down. He got worried about you, I couldn't convince him to go sleep, and he is still meditating on the dojo" - Donatello take a moment to take air and continue - "Just let him know you're okay, let's see if with thar I can finally out him back on bed, okay?"

You contemplated the idea for a couple of minutes. You didn't really have an idea of what Leo seemed to have against you. Maybe it was something you said or you did, but Leo seemed to have been avoiding you lately.

"Fine. Let's see what that knucklehead is up to. "

Breathe in

Exhale

Breathe in

Exhale

Clear your mind

Don't think of anything

Crap

He's thinking

Leo furrowed his hipotetic eyebrows because turtles didn't grow hair, and even if they did, they'd be covered by their masks.

You were okay

You were?

He knew, on average, he wouldn't survive that

But you did

You collapsed

But you should he fine on Donnie's hands

Right?

Maybe it was the guilt talking for him, but you didn't deserve to be badmouthed as you we're laying unconscious on the medbay

Leonardo heard the sound of steps and sighed, not even bothered in opening his eyes.

"Go away Donnie" - he muttered

"You know" - came your voice instead, making Leo jolt in his place. You were okay? - "A bird told me you cried a river for me" - he turned around to see tou standing in the entrance of the dojo - "Quite touching if you ask me"

Nothing was said for a couple of seconds before Leo suddenly snorted and started cackling for your surprise. You didn't expect to get this reaction from him.

"You…" - he keep laughing, and there's when you noticed the look on his face, almost maniac, a grin that didn't seem to fit in his face - "You're already back to your normal self" - he muttered the last part

"Hey" - you complained, but stopped at Leo's frown - "Did really give you a scare back there?"

"You gave a scare to everyone" - Leo pointed out, then sighed, and something on his frame relaxed - "And Donnie's letting you go?"

"Got a secret identity to protect" - you crossed your arms - "He's forcing me to remain on standby while on the suit. "

"I wouldn't expect less from Donnie" - Leo chuckled

No way! He has more emotions besides grumpy and stern!

As for Leo, he just hopes that trusting you didn't end like Karai

He hopes

[rekino2114]

Can I get a Female Obanai x reader fluff alphabet?

Fem!iguro obanai fluff alphabet

🐍A=affection(how affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Obanai is weird when it comes to affection, one on side she always blushes and acts bothered when you give her affection but secretly actually loves it, she will never refuse a hug from you

🐍B=baby(do they want a family? How are they with kids?)

She really doesn't want a family, not only is she still traumatic from how her own treated her but she's also just awful with children (tbh she's awful with anyone who isn't you) she'd much rather just stay with you

🐍C=cuddles(do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)

She actually quite enjoys cuddling. It's a good way to be quiet and relax while spending time with you. She doesn't mind being the big or little spoon but since she has a pretty small build it's better for her to be the little spoon

🐍D=Domestic(do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Living with you is her main dream and she's willing to do basically everything you want to be a good wife, she can cook and clean, even if she won't admit she did for you it's pretty obvious

🐍E=everything (you are ........... example: my life,my world)

"You are the most precious thing I have,....please never leave me"

🐍F=flirting (how do they flirt? Does it continue even after they're in a relationship?)

Obanai does flirt, period. Not only is she pretty awful at it, she gets embarrassed everytime she even tries and doesn't really like showing affection in that kind of way

🐍G=gifts(what gifts do they like to give you? When?)

Gift giving is actually one of her main love languages, she gives you stuff often. Sometimes it's food other times clothing items she knows you like other times it's just homemade stuff she made specifically for you, even if she will never admit it

🐍H=hug(do they like hugs? how do they hug?)

Obanai isn't the biggest fan of hugs, but she would never refuse one if you ask her. Her hugs are very tight, like a snake coiling you, she doesn't talk or do anything else just tightly holds onto you

🐍I=I love you (how fast did they say it? Do they say it often?)

It took a while for her to say that. not because she was unsure that she loved you, she knew that from the start, but she needed to make sure that you loved her too, she kinda thinks she's not really worthy of you, but now that you confirmed you loved her too she says it occasionally not too often though

🐍J=jealousy (how jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

Obanai gets very jealous incredibly easily. She is ready to beat up any girl who flirts with you at a moment's notice. And even when she doesn't flirt with you, any woman getting remotely close to you pisses her off and she'll just stay there angrily glaring at her until you come back

🐍K=kisses(how do they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you?)

It took a while for the first kiss to happen because she had to show you what her mouth looked like, but when she understood you didn't judge her because of it and actually loved it kisses became something of a regular occurrence, only in private thought and her kisses are mostly short and sweet

🐍L=love confession(how did they confess to you?)

She had kaburamaru hold a sign "follow me" and when you did, you found obanai blushing intensely and holding out a cup of tea she made for you. After a chat, she confessed, thinking you would reject her, but to her surprise you said yes and she's so happy about that

🐍M=mornings (how do they spend mornings with you?)

She waits for you to wake up and always gives you 5 more minutes of cuddle when you ask, she acts al annoyed like she hates it, and you forced her to but actually loves the more time she gets to spend with you

🐍N=nights (how do they spend nights with you?)

She likes to watch the starts with you from a tree, she makes sure you won't fall and then you two stargaze and stay in peaceful silence

🐍O=overprotective (how protective are they of you?)

She is very protective of you, you are the most important thing to her and she genuinely can't stand the idea of you getting hurt. She knows you can handle yourself but she just can't help but be overprotective

🐍P=pet names(what nicknames do they like to call you?)

She doesn't really have any pet names she calls you in public but sometimes calls you sweetie when it's just you two

🐍Q=quizzes(how much do they remember about you?)

To be honest you are on obanai's mind like 24/7 so she remembers everything that is important to you, she'll just randomly say something even you forgot about and blush when asked why she knew that

🐍R=rain(how do they spend a rainy day with you)

She just stays on a tree not doing anything in particular and looking at the rain. She doesn't even care that she gets wet but will come back inside if you ask

🐍S=service (what are some acts of service they do for you?)

While she may not act like it obanai is actually such a simp for you, she would do most things you ask her to do and will make sure you're comfortable after a mission with a massage a bath or anything really. She will always blush and deny that she's doing it for you but you can see it in her eyes that she actually is

🐍T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She really really tries, that's how she shows her love. She doesn't outright say it most times, just does stuff for you and really tries her best to be a good girlfriend

🐍U=unhappy (how do they cheer you up?)

She asks who made you cry and is 100% ready to stab them. But then she calms down and cuddles you and makes you tea and lets you play with kaburamaru

🐍V=value (How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

You are the best thing that could ever happen to obanai. Your mere presence makes her feel.....loved and worthy of you, she wants nothing more than to make you feel the same love she feels for you

🐍W=wound (how do they react to you getting injured?)

Will immediately and mercilessly decapitate whatever demon did that to you and bring you to Shinobu. Even if the mission isn't over she doesn't care, you're more important and she hates seeing you hurt

🐍X=Xtra (a random fluffy headcanon)

Kaburamaru loves you too and obanai couldn't be happier about that. He always slithers on your neck whenever she's not around, and it acts as if both of you are his owners and obanai's heart melts whenever she sees you two playing together

🐍Y=yes (how do they react to you proposing to them?)

".......you want.....to marry me?...me of all people?.........thank you, yes......I want to spend forever with you too"

🐍Z=zzz (how is sleeping with them?)

She doesn't really sleep too much and kinda likes to watch you sleep, she tries her best to not act creepy but she thinks you look beautiful when you have nice dreams

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

Hi! Love your posts. Can you write crush headcanons for each of the turtles, like how they develop it, how they may act around them, and maybe ask them out? Thank you! Hope you have a great day!

TMNT crush headcanons:

Leonardo:

• Leo developes slow but meaningful crushes! He's very careful, and guarded of his feelings similar to Raph, but in his own way. His crush starts with feeling inspired by his person of interest, someone who makes him want to better himself in any way by either observing their passions, talents, and skills, or who encourages his limits to discover his own.

• He's thoughtful but very subtle about his affections towards someone, he doesn't exactly want them to know

• Observant, attentive, and a classic romantic is how he is—that last part, in his fantasies, at least. He dreams about being able to provide everything his crush could want or need, even though he can't always do so due to how they live

• Leo asks his crush out after a series of escalating gestures of love so it doesn't really catch them off guard. Asks them to meet him alone to talk because he has something important to say, and then makes the confession.

• "I know you have to know what I'm going to say, you're nervous, I can tell...I probably shouldn't have been so cryptic when I asked you to meet me in the dojo by yourself." He softens his posture a bit, to seem less tense. He'd lit several dozen candles scattered all over the room, partially for himself while he meditated to calm his mind a little, mostly to create an atmosphere. "You've become a close friend of mine despite everything, you know you're always welcome in our home, right? And you can come whenever." There's an awkward pause—he doesn't know how to continue with what he's saying. "Ah, anyways—I was saying...I enjoy your company, I would be honored to show you some stuff I know, in exchange for some of your time. Only if you'd like." God, he hoped that you would.

Michelangelo:

• Mikey couldn't hide his growing feelings, even if he wanted to. And it didn't take much for him to fall fast and hard for his crush; the attention he got was addictive and he wanted to give it back tenfold! He always wanted to feel wanted and accepted by others, so even though he couldn't have that from the rest of the human world, the fact that he had that from you was more than enough for him. He was grateful.

• He's his crush's biggest fan!! If there were merch, he'd wear it proudly even if it embarrassed you

• Creative and artistic; he painted and redesigned one of his old longboards just for you. It had some of his old pop-art on it, graffiti style, random sketches and doodles, and every sticker he could find. He tried to remember everything you liked to put it on the things he gave you, whether it were poster collages he made for his wall art or putting love onto the bottom of a skateboard. Big gift giver, so expect to get a LOT of stuff from him—even sentimental items he's nostalgic over, even if you feel bad to receive those things from him. He has a lot to give. 😌

• Mikey confesses by accident one day when he doesn't even mean to—he's playing around with you as usual and gets talkative when he's feeling excited, so it just slips out. Mid-play.

• "Ha-hah! That's what I'm taking about, I love you, Y/N!" There's a pause where it has to compute for a second. "Wait, did I just say that out loud?" He's serious for a moment—he can't believe he actually said that. But the next beat, he's back to smiling at you, laughing, maybe trying to deflect the hint of embarrassment he felt (which was rare for Mikey). "Yeah, I did say that out loud, I guess. Whoops...oh—now, tag, you're it!"

Donatello:

• Despite his brains and his intellectual nature, Donnie is an emotional person and actually falls in love almost immediately when he encounters that perfect person. He gets stars in his eyes and runs his own compatibility tests through his mind as he learns more about them, and annoyingly, they're stuck on his mind even when he's trying to work on his experiments and projects.

• Helpful, playful, a little stingy with your time lol—when he wants to spend time with his crush, he wants his brothers away because they take the limelight without thinking sometimes. Always offering to help you with homework or if you need anything fixed around the house, he's volunteering for that. Broken cabinet? Fixed. Wifi isn't working? No problem. Pipes under your sink leaking? He's been fixing up the Lair for years!

• Donnie is not shy. Let's say that rn. He's 👏 confident 👏. He's a little bit of a showoff competing with his brothers to snatch your attention, even if it's just games.

• He asks you if you'll have him on a date one night on your way out of the sewers. He'd been looking for the prime time to hit you with the question and was a little nervous to do it with his peers around, so he dropped the question when you went to leave for the night. "I know you're leaving—and this will only take a minute! But I had something to ask you." He lets you get curious. He holds up the keys to his prized possession, the Shellraiser, that he dreamed about driving you around in. "Ever gone on a joyride through New York in a souped-up garbage truck? No?...do you, maybe, want to do it with me? As a friend thing? Or maybe as more than just...friends?"

Raphael:

• Raph was completely UNready to admit he was getting soft for you. Or ready to commit to feeling the uncomfortable—but tantalizing—feelings you gave him. In honesty, for a good long while, Raph didn't let you know in the slightest he was getting his heart stolen over the course of the months he knew you.

• Very much puts off his crush with his prickly demeanor. But underneath that tough exterior, he's secretly taking every chance he can get to try to impress you in the ways he knows how; if there's any heavy lifting to be done, you bet he's volunteering himself out for that before anyone else can.

• Acts too good for sappy things until the moment his crush is being vulnerable—it disarms him, he's a protector at heart. He wants to be your shield from everything bad in the world, which is a lot.

• Raph plays the long game with his crush hinting over and over again he's in love, with no luck at times. It frustrates him but it's a challenge. He won't be outright and say it; everything he does is subtle, but the second your back is turned, he's making it known he's got your attention just to pull one over on his brothers (in good humor!)

• Makes his crush work with him to get the confession out, low-key. He makes you guess until you finally start to piece everything together. He will not be saying it with his words, but he'll definitely show it.

• "Y/N. C'mere," he says. "What're you still doing here this late, dummy? Already said it's not safe to walk home alone." Silence. "Agh, I did it again. Ignore my crap. But I mean it, stop goin' home alone, you know I told you I'd come too. And if I ain't available then I'm making Mikey go. Hear me? Stop acting like it's a burden or whatever..." He's kicking himself mentally for being unable to say what he actually wants to say. He ruffles your hair roughly to deflect. "See, now ya look silly like you act. Come on, let's go. I like you better safe in one piece than ending up in the back of some guy's van."

I lost all of my TMNT gifs from my old phone 😭 The post feels bare without it, but anyways, this is my first post in over a year so i hope it's good! 🐢🐢🐢🐢

[aa0n]

How the "Janae and Johnny and Frankie and Donnie are the same people" hc could make sense (it doesn't, but bear with me)

After Johnny and Janae burned down the neighbour's house (and killed his wife) they had to run, both from their terrible parents and the police. That's canon to neighbour, Janae literally says that he's gonna seek adoption for him and his brother. So Janae steals money from his parents and find a way to make him and Johnny new IDs (change their names) and fly to Newyork. In order to be as unrecognisable as possible, they learn to have a good accent with videos they find, which are mostly british comedic sketches (hence Frankie and Donnie's accent being so caricatural). When they arrive in America, they get noticed because they are two children alone and they're taken to an orphanage. They always find a way to not be adopted or separated, until they're old enough to go and find an apartment in a strip club. They become the christmas tree bandits because they need money and neither of the two know how to work, and I like to think that the first time they went to time square it was Christmas and Donnie was in awe of the giant christmas tree so Frankie decided that he'd give it to him one day.

Now how the hell do I justify the actual backstory they give in christmas tree bandits? Well to me it’s a story they tell since they arrived in America, they know it by heart but when Donnie has a seizure he tends to forget things, that's why Frankie asks him:

About Johnny's future dreams, I think Donnie still has some but they are a lot less clear and often a part of truth mixed with very bad stuff (like he dreamed about Frankie dying more than once) so he doesn't take them seriously anymore. Also he has insomnia and pyrophobia because of the fire, and yes he dies in an explosion :D

The thing that doesn't really work in my head is that in neighbour Janae is 8 and Johnny is 15 and I clearly don't see Donnie and Frankie having 7 years of difference (in fact I don't see Donnie being the big brother but yk that's the whole joke in neighbour so yeah) maybe it would work if Donnie is like 32 and Frankie 25? Idk it still feels weird

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

[tagamantra]

realities, maximalism,and the need for big book™️

some gubat banwa design thoughts vomit: since the beginning of its development i've kind of been enraptured with trying to really go for "fiction-first" storytelling because PbtA games really are peak roleplaying for me, but as i wrote and realized that a lot of "fiction first" doesn't work without a proper sort of fictional foundation that everyone agrees on. this is good: this is why there are grounding principles, genre pillars, and other such things in many PbtA games--to guide that.

broken worlds is one of my favs bc of sheer vibes

Gubat Banwa didn't have much in that sense: sure, I use wuxia and xianxia as kind of guideposts, but they're not foundational, they're not pillars of the kind of fiction Gubat Banwa wants to raise up. there wasn't a lot in the sense of genre emulation or in the sense of grounding principles because so much of Gubat Banwa is built on stuff most TTRPG players haven't heard about. hell, it's stuff squirreled away in still being researched academic and anthropological circles, and thanks to the violence of colonialism, even fellow filipinos and seasians don't know about them

this is what brought me back to my ancient hyperfixations, the worlds of Exalted, Glorantha, Artesia, Fading Suns... all of them have these huge tomes of books that existed to put down this vast sprawling fantasy world, right? on top of that are the D&D campaign settings, the Dark Suns and the Eberrons. they were preoccupied in putting down setting, giving ways for people to interact with the world, and making the world alive as much as possible.

one of my main problems with gubat banwa was trying to convey this world that i've seen, glimpsed, dreamed of. this martial fantasy world of rajas and lakans, sailendras and tuns, satariyas and senapatis and panglimas and laksamanas and pandai... its a world that didn't really exist yet, and most references are steeped in either nationalism or lack of resources (slowly changing, now)

i didn't want to fall back into the whole gazeteer tourist kind of shit when it came to writing GB, but it necessitated that the primary guidelines of Gubat Banwa were set down. my approach to it was trying to instill every aspect of the text, from the systems to the fluff text to the way i wrote to the way things were phrased, with the essence of this world i'm trying to put forward. while i wrote GB mainly for me and fellow SEAsian people, economically my main market were those in the first world countries that could afford to buy the book. grokking the book was always going to be severely difficult for someone that didn't have similar cultures, or are uninterested in the complexities of human culture. thus why GB had to be a big book.

in contemporary indie ttrpg spaces (where I mostly float in, though i must admit i pay more attention to SEAsia spaces than the usual US spaces) the common opinion is that big books like Exalted 3e are old hat, or are somewhat inferior to games that can cram their text into short books. i used to be part of that camp--in capitalism, i never have enough time, after all. however, the books that do go big, that have no choice to go big, like Lancer RPG, Runequest, Mage, Exalted are usually the ones that have something really big it needs to tell you, and they might be able to perform the same amount of text-efficient bursting at the seams flavor writing but its still not enough.

thats what happened to GB, which I wanted to be, essentially, a PbtA+4e kind of experience, mechanically speaking. i very soon abandoned those titles when i delved deeper into research, incorporated actual 15th century divination tools in the mechanics, injected everything with Martial Arts flavor as we found our niche

all of this preamble to say that no matter how light i wanted to go with the game, i couldnt go too light or else people won't get it, or i might end up writing 1000 page long tome books explaining every detail of the setting so people get it right. this is why i went heavy on the vibes: its a ttrpg after all. its never gonna be finished.

i couldnt go too light because Gubat Banwa inherently exists on a different reality. think: to many 3 meals a day is the norm and the reality. you have to eat 3 meals a day to function properly. but this might just be a cultural norm of the majority culture, eventually co opted by capitalism to make it so that it can keep selling you things that are "breakfast food" or "dinner food" and whatnot. so its reality to some, while its not reality to others. of course, a lot of this reality-talk pertains mostly to social--there is often a singular shared physical reality we can usually experience*

Gubat Banwa has a different fabric of reality. it inherently has a different flow of things. water doesn't go down because of gravity, but because of the gods that make it move, for example. bad things happen to you because you weren't pious or you didn't do your rituals enough and now your whole community has to suffer. atoms aren't a thing in gb, thermodynamics isn't a real thing. the Laws of Gubat Banwa aren't these physical empirical things but these karmic consequent things

much of the fiction-first movement has a sort of "follow your common sense" mood to it. common sense (something also debatable among philosophers but i dont want to get into that) is mostly however tied to our physical and social realities. but GB is a fantasy world that inherently doesn't center those realities, it centers realities found in myth epics and folk tales and the margins of colonized "civilization", where lightnings can be summoned by oils and you will always get lost in the woods because you don't belong there.

so Gubat Banwa does almost triple duty: it must establish the world, it must establish the intended fiction that arises from that world, and then it must grant ways to enforce that fiction to retain immersion--these three are important to GB's game design because I believe that that game--if it is to not be a settler tourist bonanza--must force the player to contend with it and play with it within its own terms and its own rules. for SEAsians, there's not a lot of friction: we lived these terms and rules forever. don't whistle at night on a thursday, don't eat meat on Good Friday, clap your hands thrice after lighting an incense stick, don't make loud noise in the forests. we're born into that [social] reality

this is why fantasy is so important to me, it allows us to imagine a different reality. the reality (most of us) know right now (i say most of us because the reality in the provinces, the mountains, they're kinda different) is inherently informed by capitalist structures. many people that are angry at capitalist structures cannot fathom a world outside capitalist structures, there are even some leftists and communists that approach leftism and revolution through capitalism, which is inherently destructive (its what leads to reactionaries and liberalism after all). fantasy requires that you imagine something outside of right now. in essence read Ursula K Le Guin

i tweeted out recently that you could pretty easily play 15-16th century Luzon or Visayas with an OSR mechanic setting and William Henry Scott's BARANGAY: SIXTEENTH CENTURY PHILIPPINE CULTURE AND SOCIETY, and I think that's purely because barebones OSR mechanics stuff fits well with the raiding and adventuring that many did in 15-16th century Luzon/Visayas, but a lot of the mechanics wont be comign from OSR, but from Barangay, where you learn about the complicated marriage customs, the debt mechanics, the social classes and stratum...

so thats why GB needs to be a (relatively) big book, and why I can contend that some books need to be big as well--even if their mechanics are relatively easy and dont need more than that, the book, the game, might be trying to relay something even more, might be trying to convey something even more than that. artesia, for example, has its advancements inherently tied to its Tarot Cards, enforcing that the Arcana guides your destiny. runquest has its runes magic, mythras (which is kinda generic) has pretty specific kinds of magic systems that immediately inform the setting. this is why everything is informed by something (this is a common Buddhist principle, dependent arising). even the most generic D&D OSR game will have the trappings of the culture and norms of the one that wrote and worked on it. its written from their reality which might not necessarily be the one others experience. that's what lived experience is, after all

*live in the provinces for a while and you'll doubt this too!

[livingtheparadoxlife]

do you have any mark blackthorn headcanons?

Ooh, that got me thinking. I'm not sure how many of these are headcanons and how many are stuff I might remember from the books, but don't remember that they're from the books.

Here ya go:

1. He styles his hair shorter for a while, perfectly cropped, till he comes to terms with what happened to him in the Hunt. But he lets Kieran and Christina cut his hair.

2. He loves watching movies with Dru, though he wishes she'd show him something that involved happier things. Also, to Ty's surprise, now helps him study animals instead of trying to talk him out of it. But he insists that the animals not be taken from where they live.

3. Once the Blackthorns have returned to a state of semi- normalcy post the clave split, Mark takes the time to visit his siblings often. Julian is the one most subjected to his fussing, because Mark wants to get back the years he's lost and return some of Julian's childhood to him. Julian doesn't mind, mostly.

4. He is heartbroken when he realises Tavvy doesn't remember him except in hazy memories that might as well have been dreams. But he doesn't let that stop him from doing his best to make newer ones.

5. He spent a long time wishing it were him and not Livvy. His family was used to not having him around, but not his lively sister.

6. Sometimes he dreams about beating up one of the Rosales brothers, but he'll not admit it.

7. Helen and Mark talk every night. When he misses the home he had so little time in, she tells him of LA's warmth, its sun and its golden beaches, and when she wonders about life in Fairie, he tells her of the revels and the wind in his ears and Kieran's court. Mark doesn't need to hear about the fires that kill the trees, and Helen doesn't need to know about the whippings and rigidity.

8. He finds it hilarious that so many of his siblings, like him, could not resist the charm of the fae.

[matchadobo]

KIDD; wedding headcanons

warning/s: partial nsfw but no occurrence of the actual thing, super fluff i died and alived

i'll fix the formatting lateeeerr >:) red ones are individual bullets while white ones are subheadings of the previous red one (hope that makes sense)

* when you bring the question to him he'll be like:

* "me? you wanna marry me?" he'd point to himself.

* "yes, silly! who else?!"

* "i-i mean," he'll instantly become red and start fumbling over his words. "i-i was supposed to pop the damn question out..."

* you best bet it'll be a full blown steampunk wedding! he'd want it to be in the victoria but it's also fine with him if you'd want a beach or garden wedding so long as the theme stays. this i what i think he'll be wearing, the aesthetic of the event, and what your gown'll be.

* during preparations, he'd mostly leave it up to you so long as you follow his color palette: red and blacks. but when it comes to foods, he'd be keen on having an attendance while you taste test and choose out stuff.

his and your fits

* before your wedding day, he'd be soooo anxious. i have this thought that when you two are individually out on your bachelor/ette parties, he'd be calling you by the end of it just cuz he can't sleep.

* "it's pretty late, kidd. did your party just finished?"

* "yeah, every one's knocked out of their damn minds. and apparently, i can't fuckin' sleep."

* "hmm, nervous?"

* "like the fuck i am." he'd try to deny it but eventually give in. "i wanna see you before i sleep."

* "but you know the superstition-"

* "fuck that shi-"

* "no! i don't want any bad luck!"

* "luck? baby, we defy all odds, don't we?"

* he'd insist but you'll also insist. so he just settled on an overnight call where you two slept in.

* during the wedding day, you two'll be tired as fuck because the only sleep you guys got was 2-3 hours because of talking and comforting each other until 5 😭. while getting ready, kidd will be more impatient and irritated than usual. but it's just due to the combination of weariness and anxiety. mostly anxiety. he never felt this anxious when it comes to you, he'd always be confident about how you two felt about each other. but right now, all he thinks if he's sure or not. if you're sure with him. eustass kidd never doubts, but he feels so deeply for you he'd never want to hurt you and that brings him to a wall. the people involve with him that day had a hard time working with him because his attitude is extraaa mean 😔

* but when he sees you at the end of the aisle as you donned a dress that looked way too good on you it was insane to him, all his worries left his body through a tear that cascaded down his eye.

* "you crying?" killer nudged kidd, noticing the taller to reach over his breast pocket to fish out the hanky.

* "shut up, you ain't the one doing the marryin'."

* i imagine his vows to reflect the kind of person he is, passionate and brute about it. he'll be soooo poetic it'd surprise you.

* "where do i even start fuck-" you'd giggle along with the audience. "i do lotsa damn declarations but this is makin' me shy, jeez."

* "name," he'd sheepishly look at you. "you are my dream and i honestly curse the seas that i'd only found you nos and not at the time i needed you the most. and now i, for the life of me, can't imagine how i'd live without you."

* "i, eustass kid, will put hands on anyone who mess with my wife, if those fuckers think they're so big, well so am i, aye?! if she cries i'll cry with her, and trust me when i say i will kill any bastard who dares do her wrong, because that's my wife, they better not look at her cuz she's taken, she's mine. got it?"

* "you've learned to love me, an insufferable asshole, in ways i never thought possible. you've seen the worst and the best, the weak and the strong, the ugly and somehow the pretty in me. you make me a better man."

* "you conquered all my fears, seized my pride, and built my strength. you are the reason i became the way i am today. you crawled your way in 'ere and took control over my heart, you little monster."

* "from the start, i haven't exactly been kind to you. i mean, i've been rude, and disrespectful; but you grew on me, you were patient and measured up to my irritated ass... so much that I don't know what happened, you really snuck up on me... so may you forgive me my past dumb mistakes. because even if I am stupid and mean, and I may not show my love properly, I love you and will do anything to give you what you fuckin' deserve. you know that."

* "name is a great woman, one who stands and always fights for what she wants, and I want the honor of being your husband. we'll conquer anything, yeah?"

* "okay i'm very fucking embrassed now so i'll just come out and say it... I need to marry you, not because I love you, not because I like you, but because I have to to... yeah, I said it, I don't like you or love you, i need you in my fucking life."

* man he'd end up crying while saying them. but his voice wouldn't waver, it's eustass kidd come ooooon

* he'd be dramatic and give you the bridal kiss where you kind of hang mid air and he supports your back.

* reception would be firrrreee it'd be an absolute rave! you'd have your wedding dress be modified where you can discard the tulle or some shit to make the dress shorter.

* your guests and dearest friends each made a speech about your craziness with each other

* "kidd was so damn insane for this girl. one time, he asked me if he should get her an otter or dung beetle as a christmas present. bro doesn't even celebrate christmas until she came along!"

* "kidd stood out as one of name's partners, he was the first jackass she fell for that was actually a keeper."

* "i'm telling you, kidd became so self-conscious when he met name! he started worrying if his lipstick was the right shade or if his eyeliner looked neat!"

* "what confuses me was whenever they talked to me about each other, the word 'i hate' always comes first and them being whipped follows after. it was annoying."

* drinking games come after, trivias about the couple and between you two after. and as expected, it was competitive because neither of you wanted to lose and give way 🤣. kidd as a man, will never go easy and let you win tho. he respects you like that.

* but what prompted me to make this hc is the wedding garter tradition 🫦. this will be his favorite part. he'd be very extra tho,

* he'll take off his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves when you two are in front for the act.

* he'd maintain reaaaally strong eye contact and will be feeling himself while you burn red and start fanning yourself from laughing or actually feeling flustered under his gaze.

* he'd get under your dress, have a long whiff of that 🐱 and his breath'll tickle you bc he nasty like that, lick your thigh a little, give the flesh on your hips a squeeze, and drag the garter off with his teeth very very languidly

* he'll be very pouty when it's time to give it to the bestman tho

* then the actual rave comesss! blasting music and lights at the victoria, it didn't seem like a wedding reception. but you and kidd were in the center of it all, dancing with each other the same way you two met in a bar.

* "wanna get out of here?" he whispered with his hands on your hips, bending down to your ear due to the deafening beats.

* "hmm, ain't this familiar?" you giggled.

* "aye. this is the part where you come with me and we kiss at the back."

* "eh? that's different from what i remember. your mean ass was angry at me for stepping on your shoe." you poked at his nose while he laughed subtly.

* "shh shh, we both know how bad that ended. bar got fucked up real good." you two broke out in laughter, reminiscing at old times.

* kidd would inevitably drag you to his quarters, man's hungrryyyyy

* he'd be so desperate to take off your clothes, with how beautiful you look today and how he was deprived of you for a couple of nights

* you'd leave the deck making out, walkign sideways, backwards, u name it

* "it'd be pretty weird if the bride and groom's gone on their reception, right?" you broke out of the kiss.

* "and we don't give a shit about it, don't we?" he'd grin, tugging at your lips

* aaaand stuff thst happens in the honeymoon happened 😏

been in the works foR WAY TOO LONG

[stewdoesthings]

The gang as camp monitors bc I said so.

Sodapop as a camp monitor is great with kids of all ages. He bonds with them and he's spontaneous he has great bits that he does. He keeps the kids entertained. They're not all obedient but he doesn't have a hard time dealing with his group because everyone loves him so much. Sodapop is the camp monitor every kid dreams of, but not every boss' dream employee because he slacks, he doesn't follow all the safety rules and stuff like that. He was also a boy scout because Mr. Curtis was a guide. Darry was one but Pony wasn't and Steve was one too.

Darry is the monitor who's been there too long. He's stricter but he plays during the games and everyone wants him on their team. He could be a lifeguard, too. He can be funny but he's not goofy, his type is mostly "here are the rules, don't do anything dumb" and when you do something dumb he's like "told ya". He can get a little bit full of himself when he has disobedient kids and he doesn't make it better because that man is not above starting beef with a 12 yo.

Ponyboy is too young to be a camp monitor, but he's like an intern, an assitant. He's always in his notebook but it's great because he gives reports at the end of the day to parents. He's the schedul keeped and he makes sure things are at their place when they need to be. He also brings the lunches. He hangs out with the older kids or with the monitors he looks up to. He's a great story teller so he does that to kill time.

Steve is jaded. He's always paired with Soda (because he asks to be) and his attitude towards the kids is mostly " you don't bother me, I don't bother you." He tells the group to shut up if they aren't listening to Soda and he's never at the end of the line when they're walking because he wants to talk with Soda. He loves playing but also winning so he's very competitive, even against the younger kids. Got reprimanded a few times for telling kids "their mom shoulda swallowed them" but the camp desperately needs monitors so they won't fire him.

Johnny doesn't get taken seriously. He's quiet, kind of a follower. He's there so they can get the right adult/kid ratio. He doesn't really play, he looks at the group. He does head counts every time and is very strict about it. He'll go to the kids who's in their own corners or who seem down and he'll stay with them and talk to them. He prefers the younger kids because tbh he's scared of teens.

Two-Bit is always drunk/hungover but he makes it work. He was forbidden from bringing a water bottle because there was never water inside. He doesn't follow safety rules, he tells the kids "as long as you don't die" and hell, he even says he's got a "10% loss allowance" and he means it. He's always picking up the teachers or the older teens and he's always starting up a game of volleyball in the pool. That and fights. He doesn't follow his schedule all the time, if the kids wanna play tag instead of kayak he'll let them. He gets three hours of sleep each night and he keeps candy and snacks on him so he can eat during the day. Surprisingly, the kids love him (because he's funny and laid back)

Dally is officially the worst camp monitor. He hates little kids and barely hides it, so he only gets the older teens. He keeps acting like he's the boss of everyone and like he knows everything there is to be about the camping ground because he's been there two summers. He's EXTREMELY competitive and will always start shit like "my group's better than yours". He will actively stop a game to argue with a kid. He tells the kids everyone's real names. He calls the kids "little shits". He gets offended if anyone critics him in the slightest and he only plays violent games. If Two-Bit didn't mean his "10% loss allowance", Dally doesn't mean it because for a reason or another he'll jump in the water to get out a kid if they'd fallen in. He's got favorites and he lets it be known.

If they have to have camp names, Soda's would be Mickey Mouse, Darry's is Superman, Pony's Paul Newman or Pip, Steve is Elvis or Turbo or Donald Duck, Johnny is Billy the Kid, Fido or Pluto, Two-Bit is Maui or Goofy and Dally is Zeus or Whiskey

[deusvervewrites]

Sayian: Did you notice I'm REALLY normal about this part of the AU already?

"Ashido-san?" Izuku walked through the forest, trying to spot any sign of pink in the dark. "Ashido-san, where are you! Mandalay told us to go back to the others!"

She was lying in the middle of a grass clearing, looking... mostly melted, the only real feature among the pink mass being her exhausted and tear-stained face. Her eyes didn't turn to him, looking at the sky. "I..." Her voice was hollow. "Never saw so many stars..."

"Huh?" He blinked. Right, he... forgot sometimes how sheltered she really was. "Well... yeah, you can't really see them with all the light from the city..." He shook his head. "Ashido-san, is... everything alright? You weren't really yourself for..." A while now. "You don't have to say anything, but if I can help-"

She moved, all the pink mass speeding at Izuku. He stumbled slightly when she impacted and completely covered him, trembling. "I don't want this." She started talking, almost too quickly for him to understand. "I don't want this, I don't want this, you guys were the best thing that ever happened to me and I know I don't deserve it but you made me so happy and I don't want this to end-" She squeezed tighter, Izuku feeling slightly-acidic tears flow down his back. "I don't want this to end..."

"...Ashido-san?" He tried, brushing his tail against as much of her mass as he could. "Is... is something wrong? Again, if you need help..." She didn't really say it out loud, but there were some things that... didn't paint the best picture about her home life. "Are your parents thinking of transferring you or something?"

She kept trembling. Izuku heard her grinding his teeth as she... flowed around him. "I- I-" It almost sounded like she was choking. "I... am- am not- not... nothing's... wrong..." She sagged again. "It's just... I don't know." She sobbed again. "After- after everything that happened during the semester and- and stuff, I just-"

She was... just worried, then? Somehow, Izuku didn't really buy that. But he also knew from experience that it'll be the only answer he'll get out of her, so he just sighed. "Okay, but... why are you all the way out here?"

She finally pulled back, still not really solid. "I was... thinking, I guess. About... some stuff." She looked back at the stars. "...You asked me once what my dream was."

Right, she... didn't exactly give a straight answer to that. "It's not wrong if you don't have one yet. I'm sure it'll-"

"It did." She swallowed again. "It... took a bit, but... I think I have one." She sounded so... resigned... "I... I think I want to travel the world." A single hand extended out of her main mass, stretching towards the sky. "I want to see it. To experience all this stuff the internet and the movies and the books talk about. I want to eat the food and climb the mountains and dive into the seas. I-" Her voice trembled, getting louder. "I want to meet the people there, and learn their stories and how they live, and see what makes them angry or sad or happy and HELP THEM IF THEY'RE EVER IN TROUBLE!" The last words sounded almost... angry. "THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO!"

Still, Izuku walked up, then sat next to her. "That's... a beautiful dream, Ashido-san."

"...Yeah." She trembled again, all that anger gone. "Yeah, it really was..."

"Everyone!" Wait, what?! Mandalay?! "Get back to the lounge, at once! There are intruders in the- ack!"

Izuku shot to his feet. Behind him, he could hear Ashido-san slowly flow together into a humanoid form. "Mandalay? Crap, is- is someone attacking?!" He flew into the air, only to feel a hand clamp over his leg. "What- Ashido-san, what are you doing?! There are Villains-"

"I know."

I really put her through the ringer huh

[magnuficentwo]

Fuck it. Food Headcanons from each Borderlands corporation

DAHL

  - Dahl is all about Militaristic Seriousness to comical degrees, so it shouldn't surprise you that most of what they have to offer is Rations. Canned food, nutrition packets and weird astronaut looking pastes, all packaged up in neat browns and greens to match with the very boring aesthetic of the Rest of their products. Everything is neatly separated and easily accessible in Dahl settlements. One bonus of it is that it never expires, so if you're hungry and need a snack, just find an old military base and that should have you pretty much covered for a few weeks.

  - "But Magnus, what's in the packs?" I hear you ask, and not to worry my situational friend, I've done Way Too Much research on this and can absolutely tell you ! Again, its all very shelf stable and nutritional, so it ranges from cereal bars, dried up meats and nuts, protein powders and pastes (usually peanut butter), some mildly flavoured crackers, a variety of canned foods (including but not limited to: "Spaghetti", """beans""", soups and veggies. These are meant to be complimentary, not really eaten on their own), and ready-made "pop it in a fire for a few seconds" sustenance providers like curries. It's good enough to eat ! Hopefully.

  - ...It does Not. Taste like the best thing in the world usually. If you're desperate enough you won't notice it at first, but these things are meant for soldiers who haven't dreamed of a non-dehydrated vegetable in 10 years, so it's tough to swallow once you're not suffering from all the malnutrition ailments. It's very barely seasoned to account for the vast majority, and it's probably not a good investment to waste spices on any of it either. You could still reasonably throw a meal together with the pastes plus the canned stuff and (if you get lucky) have a chocolate cake for dessert though, even if it does taste like a biting an old boot.

[Rest under cut]

TEDIORE

  - Tediore is, by all lore definitions, a 'budgetarian' company. They appeal HARD to the aesthetic of the common person, and that their main demographic are consumers who are just looking for something quick and reliable, knowing people will more often than not only use it because they have no other choice, so it shouldn't surprise you that their business model for selling food is basically the same as Walmart's. In my mind they mostly sell quick snack food you'd usually see in a convenience store– Likely not the best choice as far as nutritional value goes, but it's tasty, affordable and it hits the spot when you're in a pinch or when you're starving after a long day of Torment Nexus'ing around the six galaxies. so you really can't afford to be picky most of the time. Sometimes Pretty Literally.

  - The food itself is, again, just about everything you'd find in a convenience store in the middle of nowhere after a long roadtrip and are so hungry you can't see straight: Isles upon isles of chips, cereals and cookies, pre-made lunchable type meals in refrigerated containers, soda that is Technically brand name, but is still so obscure you have to look up if its even real later. It's the perfect combination of accessible, cheap and edible enough to grab the attention of people. The packaging in general tends to vary between shades of gray plus some extra shines to be recognized as food and not bagged motor oil, plus varied mascots to differ each product from one another as though they're from separate entities and not just Tediore All Over Again.

  - How does it taste though ? Well, the answer is that it's good, even though it probably Will give you either a headache or a stomachache later. Like all hyperprocessed food, Tediore knows that the secret to making stuff taste good is to just either put a Lot of Salt or a Lot of Sugar in it, and that's really the whole secret. Let's say you get a nice Cheese Flavour snack bag from the local bodega: You eat 5 chips and think "Oh, that's really good!", completely oblivious to the fact you will regret this decision, and eventually eat the whole bag. Hard cut to you on the couch sluggish and weird, unsure to what caused it, but it was 100% the amount of sodium you consumed just being so high your body thinks you're sick.    Or something like that. I'm not speaking from experience here.

MALIWAN

  - Now, let's get this out of the way: Maliwan is as much a corporation as it is a cult. Its corporate identity as "hip" and cool and sleek and transhumanist and beautiful  is all a facade for what they're really trying to sell you, which is an insecurity they can profit off of. They approach people who are already very lost, exhausted and burdened by the world and promise them a place to belong, to become something More, and if they need to manufacture your burdens, they will. All of this is to say, they're social media influencers creating problems you didn't know existed so they can sell you More Things, so obviously they're the "organic"/diet product food sellers of this world. They're like if an MLM had WAY too much credibility and power and people just had to live with it.

  - You know the kinds of products I'm talking about. It's stuff that comes bragging about how it's "from the farm to your door!" even though it has gone through the same industrialization as everything else that is mass produced and meant to be sold. It's your diet versions of products, yogurts and teas and protein milks and "healthy" snacks, despite the fact they're the same composition-wide and just marked Way Up. They'd probably sell a lot of very niche products too though, all with the same promises for health benefits and what have you, but that at least have the decency to be interesting or  *a little* flavorful. For one I think Maliwan branded gum would be really good, and they'd probably make some really good flavour blocks for putting in soup and stuff. That's their forté to me.

  - Most of the food just tastes really bland and has kind of a chemical aftertaste, and the textures tend to vary between "Really airy and light, kind of like a foam or shaving cream" to "Unbearable combination of crunchy and soft that makes you confused on what you're even supposed to be tasting". It's a very high chance to be hit or miss depending on what you try, and since it's so expensive it's usually not worth it unless you're using these products for really specific dietary goals. Also most of the time isn't actually as healthy as advertised, and that's on purpose too.

HYPERION

  - Hyperion to me is complicated to say on what they'd offer as far as food goes. On the cafeteria area in TPS you only really see fast food, so I imagine that the conglomerate would own most of a food court in your average shopping mall. All the name brands are owned by Hyperion and your variety is manufactured to look like you're spoiled for all the choices when, really, you're just going to give them money either way. The food is all pretty consistently good, even though the sourcing for it is questionable and it's always plated the same everytime, which makes you think all the ingredients just go through moulds before they plop it into your plate, and it's probably the closest thing it'll get to something like homemade food from the corporations.

  - Again, variety is their main selling point, so as far as food goes, you'll find a little bit of everything. Pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs, food that's been genetically modified or has poison in it, tacos– really, the world is your oyster ! They probably have that on the menu too if you look ! Its all about the flashiness and the exclusivety and the way its presented and sold that really gets peoples gears turning. They're not bound just by ONE thing, they have ALL the things you could possibly ask for right here !

  - ...But does it taste good ? Ehhh, that's more of a complicated issue. Again, because of all the variety and the way everything is synthesized and made based on the standards for the company, it'll always just taste Good (as in, You bite into it and say "Yeah, that's pretty good"), and after a while of eating Just Good food, you'll already have built a tolerance to it and it'll just taste mid after a while... and that is when they start advertising to you Bigger and Better foods, stuff that's been made in a lab to taste as good to human beings as possible, something so unbelievable your tastebuds might explode ! And then they do. Because it was an experiment and they were using you as a guinea pig. But hey, all in the name of progress, right ?

ATLAS

  - Atlas is full of scientists who are trying to one up each other and convince everyone that They are the smartiest fanciest pants around, so you can bet your hats they're doing some molecular experimenting with the bases of every food in their market. The meat? Grown in a lab, synthesized from fibers they made themselves using only a rare type of algae that grows in like 2 moons in some distant system out there. The cheese? Not actually milk, because that is too big a luxury, no no– We used our new patented technology to create cheese out of a bunch of soft rocks we found. So on, so forth. They also probably sell all manners of artificial flavors and dyes. This trend continues with Rhys in control of Atlas, but much like everything in the company at this point it's all mostly prototypes that haven't been super well tested yet, so they're going through a... let's call it, break period in their own food industry, because they need to make sure that the things that are meant to be edible don't just explode when you try to bite into them.

  - How do you sell things you know aren't exactly what you're advertising ? By lying, obviously ! The majority of their packaging isn't direct at all about what kind of food it is, it's just this halfway minimalist picture of something that looks delicious and the phrase "new formula!" plastered on the sides, vaguely indicating there Have been changes, but they never tell you about them. You'd have to skip over a hundred words of legal jargon in the back of the packet to find the ingredient list, which is entirely translated into science terms only, to figure out that this beef you're eating is actually some obscure combination of vegetables and a molecule of radiation that has never been used before. And you'll still probably eat it.

  - The taste is Good, but I mean that in a "barely misses the mark to be Great" kind of good. The artificial flavoring really comes through when you take bigger bites of your portions, and you can't help but think you could probably make something better had you the means to, you know, find a cow somewhere in this universe. But you very much can't, so you'll settle for rice that vaguely tastes like carbon sometimes.

JAKOBS (Thank you Sir Nikolai for helping with this one <3)

  - Jakobs prides themselves in tradition, in the planet-grown, in being quality first Always, and that reflects in the kinds of products they sell. Nearly all ingredients used in Jakobs consumables is directly sourced from the edenian moons themselves, and what isn't has to go through some strict processing to even be allowed in their formulas. As a result, Jakobs is the freshest as it gets in terms of Corporation Food, especially given they're probably using actual spices for flavoring as well. Their export game is also the strongest of any corporation, as they possess much of the staples as far as whats edible goes: Rice, beans, flour, coffee, sugar, liquor, you get it. Aside from that though, I can see them selling a variety of things, particularly old school candies like licorice, marshmallows (because you know. The Marsh planet), caramel and marmalades, as well as canned goods or preserves. Not the Dahl kind though– these are good.

  - Jakobs doesn't advertise their food stuff much, but then again, they don't need to, given their monopoly over that particular market anyway and how most of their products are the staples. The packaging was designed like 200 years ago and has gone through a single redesign for the Jakobs logo to be more apparent, so as you can imagine the designs are pretty set in stone: You have the classic Jakobs aesthetics with the art nouveau-like swirls and brown/gold colors, the name of the product and the variety, and that's it. What you see is exactly what you get.

  - I am a firm believer that Jakobs food is the greatest tasting one out of all the corporations, and that's because of one trick up their sleeves: They're too stubborn to adapt their recipes into something that is easier to produce. They know how hard it is to make liquor from scratch and age it accordingly and go about the fermentations processes meticulousy, and they are never going to change it because their model of business has been the same for like 300 years and clearly it isn't broken, so there's no need for fixing. Unlike other corporations which, in their search for absolute health conscience, have completely disregarded the substance of what makes food taste good, Jakobs will put actual sugar and fat and salt into their stuff, and if you don't like it you can take your ass back to Maliwan Delectable Treats (a bunch of freeze dried "strawberry" flavoured pebbles with nothing else added, which are neither delectable nor suitable treats for humans).

TORGUE

  - Torgue used to be a very "Manly Place For Menly Men Only (Girls Not Allowed)" corporation for a long time, so as you might guess, they don't sell food so much as they sell you workout regiments and the kinds of diet you're supposed to follow to get a body "Just Like Torgue's". Variety is not their forté at all, as they only offer the same kinds of meal plans for everyone as a standardized measure, so you can mostly expect a lot of protein heavy, low fat and high fiber kinds of products. It's reliable if a little stale. Where they REALLY excell however is hot sauces, which helps add the kick their food requires back into it... for a hefty fee, obviously, but unless you have the sauce you might as well not eat any of it.

  - It's all branded in comically gendered ways, but both male and female versions have explosions on the cover, varying only in color and the kind of model used on the cover. Previously, on the "women's" packaging, it was branded with the exclusive character "Torguina" on the cover plus pink bows around all objects, but since the recent change, they completely erased the existence of the "female" variations. It was only ever a cosmetic change either way. They use the same aesthetic from their guns to their food. They sell feastables that are shaped like little guns and grenades with cheese inside.

    - Eating Torgue food is a bizarre experience, because by all means, it's just pretty normal food... until the aftertaste kicks in. It's like someone blew gunpowder directly into your mouth, and it probably says something about the corporation's standards for food that they make edible things the same way they make Bombs, but it only affects the food as much as you let it. The texture is good enough, and the initial bite is good, but the lingering aftertaste just makes it hard to get through a whole meal. And that's where all the (separately sold) additional flavorings kick in ! To make eating a better, more fun experience, you can get Torgue branded flavour packets to enhance the food, and they sure are bombastic !! As in, your stomach WILL explode if you put too much in from the unsafely measured spice, but it'll make everything taste at least good.

[greenerteacups]

I think "the problem of house elves" is really interesting in that it reveals an issue with what I suppose can be broadly categorised as "urban fantasy"?, that is to say fantasy in a modern real world setting, which nonetheless uses magical creature lore. Inevitably, as an author, you're going to purposely or inadvertently draw parallels to real world "stuff" that's ladened with baggage... and it can be really hard to make it work because readers will be raring to pick apart these kinds of analogies.

House elves are a great example of this, in that, there really are creatures called house elves (or brownies) in English folklore and they really do, in the stories, seem to enjoy doing housework and chores in exchange for things like food and shelter (and shouldn't be given clothes or they'll never come back).

However, by initially drawing a parallel to slavery with House Elf labour (a real-world very dark baggage laden issue) and then not having the time to really delve into the history and complexity of her wizard / house elf relations you end up with the narrative seeming a bit confused as to how we should feel about people having house elves as servants / slaves. On one hand, we only see "bad" families having elves, on the other, we're told Molly Weasley would like one, then we're shown that Hogwarts uses them and that they, mostly, want to work for wizards without pay or holiday. People that grew up in the wizarding world seem to view Hermione's concerns with the kind of bemusement I encountered as a vegetarian kid explaining why I didn't want to eat animals to most of the people around me. This says a lot about the way House Elves are viewed there.

House elves are not viewed as being akin to human and therefore do not fit neatly into human parallels. Dobby is presented as an anomaly because, unlike most houseelves, he does not dream of labour and being bound to a particular wizarding family. I think JKR tries to represent this through Hermione's ineffective activism, but it's clumsily done because Dobby's our first and most poignant introduction to House elves and he was being seriously abused without any protections in place. There's also the Black family situation which.... yeah.

I think a couple of paragraphs of explanation from, maybe, Dumbledore outlining, perhaps, the symbiotic magical relationship of wizards and elves, and how the Malfoys / Blacks were somehow unusual in their cruelty and disrespect to this relationship, would've done a lot to smooth at least some of this over.

The issue, I think the books very quietly imply, is actually more aligned, although not perfectly of course, in a real world sense, with animal abuse / humane treatment of animals than with human slavery, as house elves ( as folkloric creatures) crucially do want to do house work in their nature and their treatment by wizards is therefore what needs to be monitored through the introduction of protections (older Hermione will surely be championing these kinds of reforms). Not perfect of course as House Elves are sentient, talking creatures... but they're also not human beings and it does make some kind of sense that they wouldn't have the same values... it's just, slavery being OK sometimes, is really not the sort of message you want to imply through an inadvertent and imprecise parallel.

Just chiming into the house elf convo as I find this issue in fantasy writing endlessly fascinating and as an aspiring fantasy writer myself, quite frightening!

This is so well-put, I almost can't bring myself to add anything to it — really excellent and considered treatment of the ways that the elf relationship was probably intended to read differently than it did in the text. More attention to the elf/brownie legend would have gone a long way for me in fixing my unhappiness with S.P.E.W., because it would have given a canonical basis for thinking Hermione's actually just wrong about this relationship, and that she's somehow missing an important historical context. That's a great point.

Staging elves as an intermediary between humans and animals whose treatment mirrors animal rights conversations is a really smart way of talking about it, too, as it captures the moral dimension of Hermione's quest without making everyone else look abjectly terrible for not supporting it. Staging her as, say, the PETA of the Wizarding World, where everyone thinks she's campaigning to Give Copyright to Monkeys, etc., makes Ron especially seem much more reasonable. I'm going to think about your interpretation a lot in how I write house-elves in the future.