#like they don't even look old enough to be able to get a tattoo without a parent's permission but here they are givin em to other people

[byanyan]

actually ngl, i have been playing with the idea of byan, at some point in their fledgling verse, probably years down the line, eventually coming to work at some shitty little 24 hour tattoo shop

[slvthrs]

ALL THE THINGS WE NEVER SAID | vinnie hacker

— MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD —

after 3 years you finally reunite with vinnie but it's not how you would like

OLD BSF!VINNIE X FEM!READER

WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, ANGSTY, + some fluff, sex, alcohol ment, drug use (weed), making out, grinding, praise kink, emotional cheating idk, slight possessiveness

word count:  2.5k <3

The air is so salty on LA beaches.

It burns the inside of my throat whilst chlorine fills up my nose and salt in my eyes but the waves are nicer than Seattle. Warmer too.

I can feel the sand bed on my toes and shells scraping the sides of my legs as I float out peering and the sky and the way the shades of orange and yellow melt away at the baby blue and how the sun looks so majestic at this time.

I’m still slightly tipsy from the drinks we had earlier but I'm not incapacitated, it's just a nice buzz, it reminds me of when I lay my head down in the grass and I can hear the tiny shuffling of ants.

But apparently I’m still drunk enough to not hear my friends shouting from shore for me to come back until I feel a hand on mine pulling me out.

“Jesus, I thought you were gonna drown out there.” It’s Harvey, I love Harvey. He always smells like strawberries and smokes with me without judging.

“I wasn’t, let me like the ocean in peace you guys are assholes.” I retorted but I didn't stop walking with him back to the shore with my friends.

I fall back onto the plush of the towel as Harvey joins everyone else in a game of beach volleyball.

Well everyone except me… and Vinnie.

Vinnie, the same guy that I was inseparable for 10 years, now seeing him for the first time in 3.

The same guy I fell in love with at 13 and who broke my heart at 17. 

That Vinnie.

He’s sitting right in front of me in his shorts leaning back looking at everyone playing.

He has tattoos now and is much bigger. His hair is darker and face is more aged. He dresses better now and looks a lot happier but besides that he's still the same Vinnie.

I tuck my legs into my chest and rest my head on my knees, letting myself take in everything that changed about him to distract me from the cold wind tangling up my hair.

He finally looks back at me and something about it makes me still smile after all these years.

“M’ sorry I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” I mumble and then look away from him.

“Why are you sorry? I love seeing you.” He still has that same warmth in his voice that I fell in love with all those years ago.

“Just… I don’t know, I figured it’d be weird for you and her.” There's a maliciousness in my voice that I didn’t even know I could muster.

“Right… Allison.” He takes a deep breath, “ She likes you, don't worry!”

Allison, Vinnie’s new girlfriend of two months, she’s really sweet and a genuinely kind person but I can’t bring myself to like her.

I feel so pathetic, being in love with the same boy who hurt me all those years ago and who was able to move on whilst I stayed where I was. The same 17 year old stuck in bed the night Vinnie told me he loved me.

“Do you wanna go smoke?�� 

I don’t think I’ve ever said no to that question from Vinnie but now it’s different.

“Shouldn’t you ask her first?” I say averting my gaze from him and playing with my nails.

“She hates when I smoke so probably not,” He gets up and walks to me giving me his hand, “Get up.”

…

“Get up!”

“Vinnie fuck off this shit is broken.” I stand up and shove the skateboard into his chest.

“C’mon you barely even tried it’s actually very fun, please I wanna teach you!” He says beaming in the sun and smiling at me whilst I try to clean the cuts on my legs.

“You're a shit teacher, Hacker!”

We’ve been at this skatepark for four hours and the only thing I can do is go in a straight line and wiggle a bit and Vinnie knows how much I hate things I don’t get the hang of quickly.

“You're torturing me Vinnie, I’m gonna leave here with a cut off leg or something!” I cry out

“You're gonna be fine, I'm not gonna let you get hurt.” He pouts in a faux puppy dog face

“I hate you so much.”

“Stop being a pussy!”

…

“Stop being a pussy Vin.” He’s been dragging me to this secluded part of the beach for 5 minutes

“My girlfriend hates smokers, I really don’t wanna get into another fight tonight.” He sighs

Another?

“Why don’t you try to quit? I know you want to, you hate smoking.” 

“It’s easier said than done- See we're here, you're just lazy!”

“Tell me something I don’t know, genius.” I half-joke

The view is nice, like really nice. It's so much quieter and less people means you can see the ocean without any distractions.

I lay down on the sand forgetting about the fact I'll be covered in it when I get up- That's a problem for me in the future.

He takes out a mini bong and packs it whilst I lay there and close my eyes.

This is nice, it reminds me of when we were younger. I was actually the first person to introduce Vinnie to weed and it kinda became our ritual, he would get the bing ready and I would wait patiently for him.

I can hear the bubbles and turn to look at him as he turns his head up, flexing his jaw and blowing the smoke out. 

He always looks so pretty smoking.

“Do you ever miss it?” I ask, purposefully vague.

“Miss what?” 

Us

“Seattle?”

“Yeah, especially during the summer. It’s hard to miss it that much when I come back every month to see my family.” He replies by passing the bong to me along with the lighter as I sit up.

“But you never come visit me?” I turn my head and he looks away into the ocean

“I know… I wanted to but everytime I mustered up the courage something would get in the way… Plus whenever I saw your pictures you looked happy, I didn’t wanna fuck that up.” 

“So your solution was to invite to to the beach with your new girlfriend and all your old friends instead of I don’t know, talking to your fucking bestfriend instead of ignoring her for 3 years making her feel like she fucked up?” It come out in a condescending tone

Every sour emotion that I held against Vinnie is bubbling up. Every emotion I felt when I saw a picture of him with his new friends, when he got his first girlfriend in LA, when he won that stupid fucking match and didn’t even reply to my dm congratulating him. 

“I know I fucked up trust me,” The bong is still in my hands, lying their idly like a forgotten childrens toy, “But even if I did talk to you whenever I would come back I wouldn’t even know what to say to you.”

“Oh fuck off Vinnie, you could have said anything, I was waiting for you to say anything. Apologies are two words but you couldn’t even muster that up? God I hate you so much.”

I don’t.

“I’m sorry,” He breathes in, “I’m sorry I stopped talking to you, I’m sorry I fucked everything up, I’m sorry I never actually told you how I felt, I’m sorry I made you feel like it was your fault, I’m sorry I ruined the friendship, and I’m so sorry I never said this earlier to you. Your my favourite person and I fucked everything over cause I was to scared of loving you.”

He breathes out.

We both just sit there in silence, I’m getting colder by the minute but I don’t move. The apology I waited 3 years for finally arrived but I don’t feel any better. I just wanted Vinnie to say something to make all the pain feel worth it and then everything to go back the way it was.

“It wasn’t entirely your fault for ruining the friendship.”

…

“You promise this won't ruin our friendship Vin.”

“I promise you, and you trust me so relax.”

His lips slot in between mine, he pulls me closer to him as my hands thread through his hair. 

It’s rough. I should have bought him new shampoo for his 18th.

“Your lips are so soft, I love them.” He whispers to me in between kisses as I lay my body over his and he guides my hips over his dick, rutting into him.

“You suck as dirty talk.” I giggle before going back to make out with him.

I let my lips trail down to his jawline leaving faint kisses there as he holds me close to him so I can feel the way his chest rises and falls. My hands drag down his torso and then up inside his shirt. My kisses falter as they reach his neck and I start sucking love bites into them and hear his hiss and whimper above me.

“Feels s’ good baby.” He breathes out, letting his hands rest at my waist as his thumb circles the area soothing the skins there.

When I’m done he flips the two of us over so now he’s above me with my hands pinned to my sides. 

He locks his lips into mine again, my whole body melts into the kiss, I lean into him, shutting my eyes, letting myself save the memory. I moan into his mouth as he pulls the kiss closer to him in a tantalizing fight for more dominance. 

As he pulls back, his eyes meet mine and I get lost in the honey brown, I study the features on his face at this moment, intent to not forget a thing. He looks back at me with a small smile.

His hands free mine and let me hook my hands around his neck. I pull him closer to my body as he kisses down my neck whilst his hands go under my shirt.

“Say you want this baby.” His gasps 

“Please, I need you so bad, I want you bad.” I beg

His hand undone my pants pulling them off leaving me in just my shirt and panties. 

Vinnie lifts himself up to take off his shirt, letting my hands graze through his body as he undoes his belt and pants and throws them on the floor, then taking his dick out of his boxer, pumping it up in his hand whilst reaching over into his dresser for a condom.

I lean my head back and stare into the ceiling waiting for him before he pulls my panties to the side and slowly lets his cock stretch me out as I arch into his touch.

His pace is relenting, I clutch his shoulder for stability and cry out into his neck, his thumb is circling my clit, his free hand holds us up and his eyebrows are knitted together in focus even though his lips keep kissing my body to make sure I’m okay.

“Feel good, you're not hurt angel?”

“No, fuck, god no, feels good Vin.” I say, barely able to make any full sentences.

It’s not long until I cum under him, I drag my nails across his back and scream into his neck to make sure I’m quiet enough and Vinnie rides me out through my high as a gasp and falls back into his bed. 

It’s not long after Vinnie comes and places a kiss on my forehead before getting us a towel and me some water to clean up. He gave me my favorite sweatshirt of his, a red Seattle shirt that I ended up cutting the collar off so it wouldn’t stay on my shoulder. 

“I love you.” He whispers before laying his face into my shoulder.

I end up falling asleep in his arms as he pulls me closer to him.

In the morning I’m alone in his bed and in his house and I end up going back to my own, lying saying I was with a friend.

It wasn’t until that night until I got a call from Reggie telling me that Vinnie had left for LA last night.

I ended up giving Vinnie’s sweater back to Reggie.

…

“It might not have been my entire fault but I still left in the middle of the night, in my bed, in my shirt, without telling you.” He reminds me, snapping me back from reality.

I lie back down into the sand taking a hit of the forgotten bong and then placing it on my side, Vinnie copies me.

It’s quiet, I like it. 

Back home me and Vinnie would always sit in the same room doing our own things, he would game whilst I’d play with Poncho or message my friends. Being in the same atmosphere was relaxing for each other.

Now it’s just tense.

“Vinnie,” I look at him, “Do you ever miss me?”

He laughs.

“Everyday, every time I go to the beach, every time my friends talk about love, every time I remember home you're always there. I don’t think I could ever not miss you.” He turns his head to look at me.

I really do miss him. I miss going to his house after a long day, I miss skipping classes together and smoking weed, I miss telling him everything. I miss him so much it hurts.

“Everything could have been so different.” I chuckle

“Yeah, we could have both still be in University together, we could have both still be in Seattle. Hell could have actually gotten together.” He laughs but I finally look back at him.

We fall back into our comfortable silence letting the ocean waves wash over us. It's dark out now and you can see the moons and the stars. It’s calming.

It’s a short lived calm however since his phone rings and he jerks up to pick it up.

I don’t listen until I hear him call the person on the line ‘baby’. It’s Allison… his girlfriend.

Our time ’s up, so I pick up my things which are just myself and a bong whilst Vinnie ends the call and we walk back to where everyone is in silence.

We get back and Allison runs into Vinnies arms placing kisses all over his face and tugs him down to sit at the bonfire. 

I lean my head on to Harveys shoulder as I zone as I eat the burger he made for me but as I look up I see Vinnie staring at me but as soon as he sees me looking back at him he looks down at his plate.

Before we realize it turns to 1 in the morning and I’m ready to go to sleep. Harvey is dropping me off and Chloe is coming with us. 

Vinnie is leaving with Allison as she drags him away but he stops as he sees me.

Before Vinnie leaves he gives me a bag with something inside and hugs me without saying a word. 

It’s a hoodie. The hoodie. A red Seattle crewneck with a cut collar. The hoodie he gave me the night he told me he loved and then left. And he left again. Leaving me with nothing but his stupid hoodie and all the things we never said.

[soundbord]

this took a lil longer than i wanted to but... here is milo's intro !

                                   the basics.

NAME: milo mendoza

AGE: twenty six

GENDER: nonbinary

PRONOUNS: he/they

ZODIAC: scorpio sun, libra moon, sag rising

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

TV TROPES: not in front of the kid, brilliant but lazy, used to be a sweet kid, the charmer, getting high on their own supply

                                    about.

parentified to the max. milo's parents never really raised him, he knew that. they gave him just what he needed to survive and plopped him in front of a tv. they knew exactly why they turned out the way they did; why they didn't learn to floss or tie their shoes until embarrassingly late in life. moving forward, milo made sure their siblings didn't have those same problems. they'd eat consistently and as healthy as a preteen could get access to, they'd have hobbies and join clubs, they'd be taken to school on time even if it meant him missing school instead. he's proud, honestly, to have his siblings be as cool as they turned out. the two oldest starting college, over five years younger and about as close to graduation as he was. it wasn't about his future anyway, it was always about theirs.

fashion, piercings, and tattoos quickly became his thing once he was old enough to realize everyone was already judging him by the integrity of his shoe soles. it felt good to be able to customize his avatar, look however he wanted loudly in the view of judgmental eyes. when he figured out how easy it was to bleach and dye short hair, it was over to them.

milo's always been big on music. any genre, you name it, he's collected what he believes to be the masterpieces within them. from electronic to rock to big booming movie scores, he is never without something to listen to. might be the only person in this world who doesn't get in music slumps.

they should just drop out. they know that at this rate they may never graduate, but something about the concept of college, an acceptable inbetween, makes them feel like they aren't completely wasting their life away. when old teachers back at their hometown ask what they're doing nowadays, they can say they're at university, and there's no pitying looks. so, yeah, they're sort of blowing a lot of money for a degree they don't know they'll ever get, but maybe after enough years it'll all fall into place. it seems to for everyone else by the time they walk the stage, at least.

it wasnt a hard decision when he started selling. there was a demand, he needed money, and it wasnt like it would be a shock to anyone. milo liked the connections that being a dealer made for him. and yeah, maybe he is a bit too soft, a bit too sweet, but he genuinely believes hes formed a lot of friendships from this. (take luke sinclair, for example, who milo still wants gone from his memory and brushes off whenever he comes up. it's easier to live with the loss that way) the community that forms around you when you have something that people want is unbelievable. in a few short months he went from having a handful of friends to being beloved. the attention is addicting. almost as addicting as what was always going to come next when you give someone like him access to copious amounts of drugs.

i had nowhere else to put this so here's a big vibe shift. milo's current dnd character is a lightfoot halfling wizard girl named xanthe dunn. unlike milo, xanthe is a well off, cunning, and scholarly girl. her personality is very similar to hermione from you know what.

                                   a look inside.

mannerisms.

FACE: one look at milo's expressions will tell you all you need to know about how they’re feeling. they have a tendency to overexaggerate reactions. but, this is just the conscious expression, things taught from raising young children and wanting to help them better emote. when he wants to hide things, he can easily behind a smile

HANDS:  he isn't a big hand talker, surprisingly. milo's usually preoccupied, fidgeting with a zipper or a lighter in his pocket as he talks or has to pay attention to anything.

LEGS/FEET: they're always in some sort of lounging state. milo's feet are constantly propped up somewhere. 

EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: hasn't happened in a few years, since getting into a fight with his sister's boyfriend over one christmas trip. usually, he can keep things in check. even arguments he has to slip some humor in to show he isn't emotionally affected, but when it does happen...

HABITS: chronic napper i fear. he can and will sleep anywhere, no matter who's around or what is happening.

POSTURE: oh, it is dreadful. just the worst. 

personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: milo is an extrovert when their energy is matched, but they struggle to speak to people who are more introverted. often they just try to avoid pushing and seeming too overbearing

OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: they've never been an optimist, but milo won't admit that. at least at face value looking at everything in a sort of glass half full way can help with morale, even if he doesn't believe it himself. he's especially pessimistic about this luke business (milo has from the start believed that luke is dead) but will only admit to it in ways that can seem like he's kidding... just incase it makes their friends sad

INSECURITIES: the volume of their voice is a big insecurity. milo had always been an excitable kid, and was always the one being shushed. worst was when people would cringe while he talks, indicating to tone it down. since, he's tried to take on a more laidback persona, voice lazy and low. still, whenever they're excited they have their moments.

relationships.

FAMILY: empathy win! your messy stoner brother who wears the same beat up old jacket everyday is a girl dad! of milo's 5 younger siblings, 4 of them are girls. he's been sewing, weaving perfect plaits, and patting pink blush on cheeks for years now. it's a strange picture, seeing them all piled into his beat up old car. his younger brother, not a smudge on his eyeglasses and hair perfectly parted down the middle, the girls in a rainbow of club uniforms ranging from cheer to band, and milo in a stained white tank, swatches of liquid lipsticks lined neatly on his forearm. their parents are another story entirely. milo keeps their cool as much as possible, but when they visit home from school to find their older siblings taking care of the littles instead of the parents, that anger threatens to spill out. he keeps his composure, pays his share of the rent, and doesn't say a word to his parents.

FRIENDSHIPS: connection is the single most important thing for milo. friendship is where he gets to have fun, drop the responsible attitude he has to keep at home and just do things because he wants to, despite the consequences. this leads to him being a bad influence more often than not, and at worst a nuisance. 

LOVE: from one failed relationship to another, milo never considered love very much. that was, until things started getting serious with camille. their relationship exists in a pocket universe separate from real world things like family. upgrading from a hookup situation to a full blown relationship was a big step, and somehow felt more important to take care of than every other relationship where he had been careless. they're a pathetic wife guy deep down, even though on the surface they just seem sort of toxic. milo does what he can to be a good partner, but they're a tactless mess, and often find themselves ruining things. with this recent breakup, they've upped the pathetic by a thousand. it's why they're even joining along on this project; to spend time together, try and repair their relationship.

                                   & luke

BAD INFLUENCE : the king of letting loose, milo seemed like the only person luke could truly lower his walls around. with him, there were no ulterior motives or potential for scandal. the two could simply chill. but smoking cigarettes became smoking weed, & that turned into shrooms which then became pill-popping. while milo was opening luke’s eyes to the wonderful world of recreational drug abuse, luke was single-handedly funding milo’s deadbeat lifestyle.

THE SECRET : late into the night, hours after he’d disappeared into the woods, milo found luke. the two talked for a while . . . smoked a little. only, milo had been cutting corners & settling on cheaper products to better afford the comfortable lifestyle he’d become accustomed to on luke’s coin. at some point he must’ve fallen asleep because, when he awoke, luke was gone — as was the remainder of his ( laced ) drugs.

[blaqcats-fics]

(He’s) Just a Phase — Part 1

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3.1K

November 1993.

Steve cursed lowly as he tried to light his cigarette. The wind was not on his side today, and he was growing increasingly annoyed with every passing moment.

The day had begun with a literal pile of dog shit. He had woken up, sleeping past his alarm, and his service dog, Bowie, had left him a present. Steve stepped into it and thus set the mood for the rest of the day. From then on, Steve missed the bus, causing having to walk to the music store where he worked out with his guitar case heavy on his back and Bowie at his side. It also didn't help that it had rained the night before and a car passed by without slowing down and drenched him in cold water.

Thankfully he had arrived at work in one piece. He was in break now, letting Bowie take a moment to eat some food and to allow himself a smoke, even though that was becoming a failure itself.

‘Fuck it,’ Steve grunted, running his hand through his hair, grimacing as his hand tangled in his hair. It had grown out far longer than he was used to. It looked like his mother’s hair — long, unruly, and stuck between the questionable state of wavy and curly. He was sure that it rivaled Eddie’s almost, except he didn't have poorly chopped bangs.

He glanced down at Bowie, watching as he finished eating his kibble, before looking up at Steve with big brown eyes. Steve smiled, leaning down, gently petting him as he picked the bowl up. ‘Was it good, boy?’ he asked, chuckling as Bowie’s tail thumped against the ground. ‘Guess so. C’mon, back to work, bubby.’

Steve opened the door to the store, watching as Bowie trotted back inside. Steve followed in after Bowie, going behind the counter. ‘Back from break!’ he called out.

‘Gotcha!’ Sam called back.

Samuel ‘Sam’ Carter was a fifty-year-old retired drummer, and Steve’s boss. He was intimidating to look at, covered in tattoos from head to toe, and fitted into a biker-gang aesthetic, but despite the intimidating exterior, Sam was a sweetheart. He was also one of the few people Steve met in the past month that was helping him understand the current queer culture.

Sam, surprisingly, was an active member of the drag community in Seattle and was more than happy to take Steve under his wing, saying that Steve looked like a lost puppy begging for shelter.

Steve was a lost puppy looking for shelter when he came to Seattle. He had left Indianapolis on a whimand didn't stop to think of the consequences. Luckily, Sam was able to situate Steve with a job and a place to stay.

‘Oh, yeah, kid!’ Sam called, walking out from the back of the store, clipboard in hand from doing inventory. ‘Gale called and said she found something that you might be interested in.’

Steve glanced at him as he opened the cash register to count the cash for the third time. ‘What’d she say?’

‘Anthem, the bar down where Gale works, is having an open mic night. Gale says there may be a producer there, but she can't promise anything,’ Sam said, walking to the counter. He paused and made a scrunched face at Bowie, speaking in a baby voice at him.

Steve rolled his eyes at Sam’s actions, but was otherwise interested. This was an opportunity, even if it could be a failure. ‘She say what time it was?’

‘Around 9 tonight.’

‘Tonight?’ Steve exclaimed. ‘I don't gave anything to play! Fuck!’

Sam scoffed, ‘I’ve seen you scribble in that notebook of yours; you have something.’

Steve chewed on his lip anxiously, glancing down as Bowie nudged his leg. He took a shaky breath, fixing his glasses on his face that had gradually fallen down his face. ‘Those aren't lyrics. They, uh, I don't know, it's just venting.’

‘Sounds close enough to music for me,’ Sam said. ‘How about this, I’ll call Rachael to cover your shift, and you go figure your shit out for tonight. You ain't going to get anywhere without nipping opportunities by the ass. You aren't going to get your man back without working for it.’

Steve hummed, nodding. He didn't bother correcting Sam. This wasn't about getting Eddie back. He was sure Eddie was happier off without him lingering in his shadow. Life had just started to work out in Eddie’s favor. All Steve wanted to do was apologize and make up for hurting Eddie, even if hurting him had never been his intention.

‘Oh, before you head out, Paul can't do their routine Saturday night, do you want to fill in their spot?’ Sam asked. ‘I know you aren't familiar with the scene, but stepping out if your comfort zone can be fun sometimes.’

Paul (Monique on Saturdays and Mondays) was one of Sam’s liners at the club he owned. They were one of the more popular drag queens that worked there. Steve enjoyed their shows, finding them loud and exciting. However, Steve never found himself wondering what it was like to be a queen.

Steve shook his head, ‘If it was Minnie, maybe. Paul is too much of a star to fill in for.’

Sam snorted, ‘Ain’t that the damn truth. You’d make a pretty girl, Stevie.’ He sent Steve a wink.

‘I think I need to finish sorting out my internalized homophobia before I start examining gender and how I want to be perceived. I don't need to give myself a stroke,’ Steve grinned. He picked up his case, adjusting it comfortably on his back. ‘Plus, if I had a pair of tits, I don't think this world would survive.’

‘Christ, kid,’ Sam laughed. ‘Get out of here.’

Steve rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his face. He called Bowie and left for home. He knew that if Eddie was still with him, he'd love to meet Sam.

That night, despite practicing for hours, Steve could feel his skin crawling. He was a bundle of nerves and he left as if someone had jump-started his heart with a faulty engine. For a brief moment, Steve wondered if Eddie always felt this way before going on to play a show. Maybe, but Eddie was always a bundle of nerves.

‘You good, ‘Evie?’ Gale asked, handing him a shot. ‘Look like you could use some liquid courage.’

Steve glanced down at the shot and hesitated. He started at it for a moment before shaking his head. ‘Best not. My nerves already make me sick to my stomach,’ he said.

Gale shrugged, taking the shot and downing it herself. ‘More for me,’ she winked. ‘You ready to play your little heart out?’

‘No,’ Steve said, raw honesty in his voice. ‘Performing was never my thing. I don't think it even is my thing. I was good at sports in high school like I was a full-on jock, but this? I wouldn't gave touched this with a twenty-foot pole.’

Gale hummed, her eyes fleeting over him, taking in his appearance. ‘Sure don't look like a jock now with that hair of yours, and that outfit. It screams homeless instead of jock,’ she joked.

‘I got it from Walmart,’ Steve frowned. ‘It was comfy and cheap.’

The woman sighed, ‘Baby, you look like the bastard child of Kurt Cobain, but with Tommy Lee’s stupidly sexy hair.’

Steve stared at her. ‘I know Cobain is from Nirvana, but who the hell is Tommy Lee?’

‘Some pretty boy from Mötley Crüe,’ she explained. ‘They’re either a metal or rock band. Who knows the damn difference?’

Eddie does, Steve’s mind supplied.

He pulled his gaze away from Gale, looking at the stage, listening to, well, something. ‘Is that poetry?’

‘Kind of,’ she said with an uninterested shrug. ‘Spoken word, I think. You like it?’

Steve scrunched his nose, ‘Not my cup of tea.’

‘It’s powerful,’ Gale said. ‘It were louder, maybe I would like it, but eh.’

‘Eh,’ Steve agreed. He glanced around the bar before settling his gaze back on Gale. ‘Sam said something about a producer?’

Gale rose her brows, ‘Is that why're so worked up?’

Steve felt his cheek warm. ‘Possibly.’

‘I don't know kid. Boss told me that there could be one, but didn't give me a name or a face.’

‘Shit,’ Steve grunted. That made his anxiety even worse. Actually, Steve wasn't sure if it did make it worse. The dread had already been lingering, but now it felt more real.

‘You’ll be fine. I'd be more worried if you didn't know how to song,’ Gale joked. She glanced down towards the end of the bar where an older man was flagging her. ‘You’re on next, ‘Evie. Take a breath and focus on the reason you're even out here.’

Steve didn't say anything as she walked away. He glanced back at the stage, swallowing the lump in his throat. He pushed himself off of the stool, moving through the small crowd of people and he suddenly felt as if he was back in Indianapolis, pushing through the crowd, looking for Eddie. It was a familiar, but ghostly feeling that made the hairs on the back of his hair raise.

That had been the year's ago, and Eddie was far from his reach.

‘A round of applause for Kaitlynn and James for their wonderful performance!’ the announcer spoke loudly into the mic. Steve couldn't remember his name. It was Dave, Derek, or something. He knew it started with a D. ‘Next up in tonight’s roster is the mysterious ‘Evie!’

Steve licked at his front teeth, sucking in a breath. He went to the stage, passing by Kaitlynn and James. He took a moment to pull his guitar from his case, checking the tuning before sitting down on a bench in front if the microphone. He coughed slightly, the sound feeling the room. ‘A big thank you for anyone who came out here tonight. My name is ‘Evie and this is my song, uh, enjoy?’

‘Evie was a stage name. Gale and Sam suggested he used one, even if it wasn't far off from his actual name. It helped hide him for now, at least until photographs were involved, and Steve did whatever he could do to avoid his face being anywhere.

There was a small applause of encouragement and a loud whistle that most likely came from Gale. His lip switched and he adjusted the weight of his guitar in his hands.

‘I’m starting at the glass in front of me,’ he sang, voice loud in the room, the microphone and speakers filling the room with his voice. ‘Is it half empty? Have I ruined all you’ve given me?’

He strummed the guitar, his stomach twisting in knots as he sang. He didn't know if it came from the anxiety of performing or from how a giant lump of panic started to form in the back of his throat.

He took a deep breath, pushing the lump away, his eyes stinging. ‘Don’t tell me I will make it on my own. Don't leave me tonight. This heart of stone will sink ‘til it does if you leave me alone,’ he sang, his voice cracking.

Steve remembered the long nights when sleep never plagued him. He remembered sitting up in bed, giving his attention to an unaware and sleeping Eddie. He used to watch him sleep and watched as all the stress lines were even out on his face, making him look younger. Eddie had looked so peaceful, and sometimes Steve would stare and count the light freckles that kissed his face. It was his form of counting sheep.

‘Don’t tell me I will make it on my own. Don't leave me tonight. This heart of stone will sink ‘til it does if you leave me tonight. Don't leave me tonight,’ Steve sang, tears glued to his lashes as he played the last few notes.

He blinked away the tears, moving his eyes to rub them away. He could barely hear the applause over the loudness of his thoughts. He sent the crowd a weak smile before moving and heading off stage, not bothering to stop and put his guitar away. He merely grabbed the case and walked back to Gale.

‘Give me a Long Island,’ he mumbled, taking a moment to put the guitar up and leaning it against the bar.

Gale reached out and touched his shoulder. ‘Baby, you sure you don't want something lighter? We both know you're a lightweight.’

‘That’s the point,’ Steve mumbled. He knew better than to develop a co-dependency on alcohol. That was how you get addicted to it, but addiction runs in his veins and for once, Steve wanted to bury the voices.

The woman sighed, ‘I’ll get you a drink, but it's not going to be a Long Island. Go sit in one of the private rooms, I’ll get Frankie to bring you the drink.’

Steve nodded, getting off the bar and moving through the crowd again, heading towards the back.

‘Hey! Excuse me!’ someone called out. Steve ignored them, figuring that they were just trying to get through the crowd of people like he was. ‘Wait a second! ‘Evie!’

Steve paused, turning around, frowning as a smaller woman made her way to him. She couldn't be much older than he was, but she looked far more foot together then he did. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘What’d you need?’

‘Mind if I join you? I saw you were heading to the private rooms,’ she said.

Steve frowned, ‘Uh, if you're trying to like, um, you know...’

She must have caught on to what he was saying and flushed red. She waved her hands frantically. ‘No! No! Not at all. Happily married with two demons to prove,’ she said, wiggling her hand, showing off the simple silver band.

‘Oh, shit, sorry,’ Steve said, flushing in embarrassment. ‘You call your kids demons?’

The woman merely shrugged, ‘They sure the hell aren't angels. Either way, mind if I join you? Rather not have a conversation in the midst of chaos, ya’ know?’

Steve nodded. ‘Yeah, of course. What’s your name?’ he asked, leading her to the back.

‘Kacey Williams,’ she introduced. ‘I’m a talent agent from Los Angeles.’

Steve stumbled over his feet a bit. His hand froze above the doorknob, turning to look at her with a deer-caught-in-headlights look. ‘You’re a talent agent?’ his voice cracked.

‘Yes, sir,’ she beamed. ‘I’m technically on vacation, but talent waits for no one! Even if you were a bit nervous.’

‘Was it really that noticeable?’ he sighed. ‘I told Gale, the bartender, that I’m new on the scene, or whatever it’s called. Music wasn’t an interest until recently.’

Kacey hummed. ‘First time preforming then?’

Steve shrugged, opening the door and letting her go in first. He closed the door behind him, moving to set his case on one of the sofas. ‘In front of a lot of people, yeah.’

‘Well, it could have gone worse. Like you could have froze up or throw up on the front row,’ she said, sitting in a chair.

‘I doubt I would even have stage fright. I'm used to being looked at all the time. I justed to be on the swim team, and I played basketball for a while.’

‘Reformed jock. Who would have guessed?’ Kacey grinned. ‘Well, there's a bit to work on, but would you be interested in giving stardom a chance? You have something that I think a lot of people need to hear.’

Steve sighed, sitting next to the guitar case. He brushed his hair from his face. ‘I’m going to be honest with you,’ he said. ‘I only came tonight in hopes to meet an agent, and here you are, but what I’m doing with my music — it’s not what you probably want to deal with.’

Kacey hummed, ‘I think I'll decide that for myself. Tell me what I could be working with.’

Steve chewed on the inside of his mouth and picked at the hole in his jeans anxiously. ‘Back in ‘89, my ex and I broke up. Uh, I fucked ruined our relationship. I made a lot of mistakes. They were tired of being second to everything, and they wanted more. So, yeah.’

‘That doesn't tell me why your here, attached to your shitty guitar, looking for an agent.’

Steve snorted. ‘I couldn't get my head out of my ass for a while. At least not until recently. I want to apologize for the damage I did — the relationship I ruined with my unfair opinions. I just can't reach them right now, they're too far out of my reach. If I get my voice out there, then maybe they could hear me.’

‘So you want to get your ex back?’

‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘That’s too selfish and way to much to ask. They have a steady life. They seem happy. I'm not going to fuck it up by trying to win them back. I just want them to know that I'm sorry. Maybe its closure for myself.’

Kacey hummed, ‘And what's going to happen if you go big, get your voice out there? What are you going to do afterwards?’

‘Finish my contract up. Go home and go back to working the same nine-to-five job,’ he said.

‘That’s depressing, ‘Evie,’ she said.

‘It’s life,’ he said back. ‘There’s something else I want to do, if I were to get into the scene. It's my plan that you might not like.’

Kacey leaned back, pausing when Frankie walked in, handing Steve his drink. She spoke up after Frankie left. ‘What’s your plan?’

‘I want to be open about my sexuality,’ Steve said. He swallowed thickly. ‘I don't want to hide the fact that I’m bisexual, and I don't want to hide the fact that every song I have ever written is about a man that I would kill for.’

Kacey stared at him, eyes wide. ‘That’s asking for death threats.’

‘Bowie is out. Elton John is out. Freddie Mercury was out. It may not be accepted still, but why do I have to hide when they didn't?’

‘It’s more complicated than that, I think,’ Kacey breathed. ‘But you doing this, it might ruin your reputation and the offers you receive. It’ll be hard.’

‘I’m prepared to do whatever it takes,’ Steve said seriously.

Kacey nodded. She opened her purse, pulled out a card, handing it to him. ‘This is my business card. I don't give these to many people, so don't go sharing it around. Think about what you want to do, then give me a call Monday morning. If you still want this Monday, with the risk, then I’ll work on getting you a plane out to LA,’ she said.

Steve looked at the car, nodding. He already had his answer. Monday he would call her. That was his only option — risks included.

NOTE: thank you guys for reading and the reblogs! if you want to be on the tag list, just comment that you want to be! i’m not sure how frequent these updates are, but my mind is brewing a lot of ideas. at the top, there's a link to the series masterlist which also has a master list to my other works (which are on ao3)! the song attached is the one Steve sang for open mic :)

TAGLIST: @swimmingbirdrunningrock x @cinnamon-mushroomabomination x

[acewithapaintbrush]

I just realized that I have never actually shared the end result of my tattoo. I love it every day a little bit more, least of all because it's actually got some hidden meanings and nods to some important things in my life. It got a bit long (and pretty emotional, oh my) so more under the cut if you wanna know

The colors, rather, the brush strokes in the background. Red, blue, purple and orange. If you know me, you know that I am a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fan. But that is not a big enough word tbh. The turtles have accompanied me all my life. My first pajama was turtles themed, I wanted to learn to ride a skateboard because of Mikey pretty much all my teen years. But most importantly, and most emotionally for me, I distinctly remember watching a turtles episode from the 1987 cartoon at a friend's house while my mother attended my father's funeral. I don't remember much of that time, only being 5 years old, but I remember crouching behind a sofa and looking over the back of it to watch the turtles have adventures. Maybe that's where it really started, who knows. I just know that these funky guys mean a lot to me for reasons I might not even be able to explain to myself properly. These colors bring me joy, so they had to be there.

And then, the sunflower. I wanted that there because of Mob Psycho 100, an anime that has not just changed the way I look at the world and at myself. I am the protagonist of my own life. My life is my own. If I can change then others can change too. It's easy to want to be easily palatable (is that the word?) for others, to get their approval, to get them to like you. It's taken me some odd 34 years to realize that I only have to be palatable for myself. I have to look in the mirror and see someone that I can get behind, a person worthy of love and friendship and I am worthy of it, everyone is worthy of it no matter who you are, how you look or what you can do. You are worthy already by just being you and even if you aren't quite there yet you are still worthy. We are all worthy of being happy. I am allowed to be silly and cringe and not act like my age. I live my life the way I want.

Because I am the protagonist of my own life and if I don't write the story, who will?

The last one is the crows feather with the green accents. This is a bit of an obscure one. As some of you know, I have written fanfiction for years. It got me through some tough times during high school. Then adult life hit and I stopped. I stopped writing my original stories too. I can't even say why it just felt like a chore, probably because I got so discouraged with my own skills and my own expectations for myself. Then I slowly got back into it, writing a real short one shot for Monkie Kid and realizing that I have missed it quote a lot. And then Encanto came along. This movie that has inspired me so much that it felt like I suddenly couldn't stop writing even if I wanted to.

And then I got the idea for "A place for crows" and the rest is history I guess? The love and encouragement I received where phenomenal. That story made me fall in love with story telling again, it consumed me for pretty much a complete year. And it brought some of the most wonderful people, beloved friends from all over the world, into my life. I am so greatful to this Fandom, to this story, or rather the things this story has brought into my life.

So the feather symbolized my love for writing and just fandom spaces in general, this wonderful microcosmos I can call home.

The brushes and pencil are a given, my love for art and drawing which have also been big factors in rediscovering myself

This text got long, I just typed it down without pausing and I'm not gonna go over it again for spelling or something like that. Take it as it came out of me, with all my love and emotional bloodletting.

Love you all.

[wayfayrr]

👾 anon here

Sage kinda would have to be a house husband since he is from hyrule and not from here making him not have any documents of his birth, pretty much making it harder for him to get a job or anything that has to do with people needing to know of his birth and I doubt people would believe that he came from a video game especially knowing how his ears look more human than hylian and half of his arm is missing and people would question that and look at reader thinking their suspicious and they have done something terrible to sage like kidnapping and sage wouldn't want that. Sage would probably have an interest of true crime shows because he would be able to pick the bad and good habits that killers did to or get caught and find the things that would kill a person more efficiently. Because of him now only having one arm he is gunna need help for some tasks like the ones where you need both arms altho he wants to prove that he is perfect to be a house husband for reader which the hole needing help to open a jar might break that to him but that is a plus cause that means reader would have to be with him as it can be used to bond and to get their attention to him instead of the chain. Being at reader's world now would Legend's hair be turn more normal he would probably have only few streaks of pink hair and twilight marks look faded like their old tattoos and much for the favor of sage those two would not turn into their animal forms as much and I think hyrule would feel much weaker as he is a fairy. Hyrule would probably try to learn modern medicine from shows and twilight would probably tag along sage when he is farming or going to the farmers market. Maybe one of them becomes a influencer to help reader with the bills since now there isn't just two people living but more than twelve if you count the others and reader.

@neverchecking, @lovanmari MORE HOUSE HUSBAND SAGE!!!

AKSMSDKCVM BECAUSE WARS AS AN INFLUENCER 💀 It'd have to be him of any links, He's already got the looks. wild could be his camera man since he'd be hopeless with tech. And you're so right, reader would be DONE with how they're having to provide for everyone now. If any of the links offered to help, they'd be readers new favourite instantly - much to everyone else's jealousy.

as for some of the other points 👾, Sage very much volunteered but at the same time reader would be in so much trouble if he was found without any ID, there's a chance he'd try to forge some just to make it easier on them so they don't have to be as stressed about him going out or getting arrested themselves there isn't a single way he'd let that happen after all. But Wind would be the real issue - adults can somewhat slide, excuses for loosing things sure. but a kid? Reader is fucked if that ever got picked up on, and school is a whole different problem to deal with.

As for legend and the others, his hair would probably stay the same - sure the magic has gone, but it's not like hair dye doesn't exist here. The same could go for Twi's markings since they could be written off as a tattoo permanent without the magic so you're right about how they'd fade over time. It's less like the looks are the issue, it's just the magic isn't there anymore and anything - like their ears, Hyrule's fairy side and sage's arm have no way to fit into the real world so they get lost over time. ALSO POOR HYRULE, He's going to be bed sick for at least a week while his body adjusts. DO YOU THINK SAGE IS BAD WITH JUST AN ARM MISSING?? RULIE CAN'T MOVE AND HE'S NOT PLAYING IT UP AS MUCH AS HE COULD. While I do like the idea of Sage losing his arm within the real world as well, I feel like it wouldn't be completely lost. Reader would be constantly reassuring him that he's good enough and perfect as he is, only encouraging him to do it even more ✨✨. But if it was he would play it up for so many sympathy points, begging reader to open jars, to have them dote on him when he gets phantom pains and suspiciously only having it play up when the others want reader attention.

[octuscle]

Mick - Good Boy To Chav

"ANTISOCIAL I DON'T LIKE YOU". Great shirt, Michael thought. With his lanky torso, he'd probably look a little silly in it. But to shock his stuffy middle-class parents, it would be just the thing. They hadn't thought it was a good idea for him to travel around England alone for six weeks during the summer vacations. They probably just thought he was too young and inexperienced at just 18 years old. But Michael had had a great time, with the last of his money he had been able to afford three more days in London in a shabby hotel, and now he had found a souvenir.

Sunday, departure day. Michael didn't really appreciate the breakfast at the hotel, but he was hungry and probably he would have to eat more for a longer time after the greasy English Breakfast. So he showered, styled his hair, put on jeans us sneakers and took the tank top.

08:00

No sooner had he put it on than an electric shock went through him. For a second his eyes went black. He shook himself, grabbed his key and descended the narrow steep stairs to the breakfast room located in the basement. He only had to wear the shirt for a few seconds and it had taken possession of him. He was antisocial now. And with every minute he wore the shirt, his mind and body would change, as if he had lived his antisocial life for another week.

08:05

Michael enters the breakfast room. Since he met his new pals a few weeks ago, his skull has been freshly shaved every morning. But no one here cares. There are enough other chavs with short hair hanging out here at the hotel.

08:30

Michael had wolfed down his breakfast. Since he had gotten the job on the construction site organized by his pals, he could eat like nothing. And table manners were nothing for unskilled construction workers.

09:00

He had packed his clothes into his big gym bag. Fuck, at some point he really had to wash, it stank like in the boys' toilet of a sports hall. Which was very horny. Before he left the room, he went to piss again. Damn he had a pressure on the bladder. The toilet bowl he hit only so half, the bathroom filled from the splashes of his piss with a fine mist. Michael looked in the mirror and licked the mist from his lips. His tattoos were really coming along. And the tunnels in his ears even more so. But there was still plenty left… I wonder what the lads would think of a tattoo on his bald head.

09:10

In the backyard of the hotel by the garbage cans, Mike had to suck the dick of the fella at the front desk. That was the price he had to pay for bumming a cigarette. He'd had worse deals than that. Sucks that he had to leave the hotel, but as long as he didn't have a paycheck, he had to stay with a pal.

09:30

He had bought another pack of cigarettes from the last of his money. Now he was waiting for the bus. Hopefully none of the mangy inspectors would come, he didn't have a ticket. But with the fat tunnels in his ears and his two full sleaves, no one would talk to him anyway. And the toil on the construction site had left visible traces on his body. He really looked like one of the bad guys.

10:00 a.m.

He hung out with his pals in his new room. The mattress had been cummed on more than once. Even without his dirty clothes, it stank pathetically of sweat, beer and cigarettes. Mick stripped off his sneakers and held his filthy socks in Gaz's face. The first of his pals began to jerk his cock. Kyle sucked Liam's prick. The orgy could begin.

12:00

Before there was pay on Monday, his lads and he were broke once again. He didn't need to ask his parents for money, he hadn't had any contact with them in years. But tonight Mick would help out at the wholesale market. Floor cleaning and garbage disposal in the meat market hall. There would be a few pounds pay for that. And for that, his pals and he would get credit at the pub. Life as an antisocial chav was the best life!

[m-feline]

To adapt, to survive, to live - ch 24

Silco x Freader

Tags: mention of tattoos, business, rumors, magic powers, snakes;

Masterlist

Previous ->

The next day I woke up alone in bed. Silco had gone early to work as he had to make a few inspections of the factories and go up from there. For one part I was happy he wasn't there when I woke up. I knew my day was going to be a busy one. Besides visiting three houses for the children, I also had a meeting with no other than Councilwoman Medarda. She had expressed very enthusiastic interest in some of my products that weren't on sale yet. Her plans for them were different from what I had intended. Though, I was still wondering how she heard of those products before I was going to launch them, this was an opportunity that I wasn't going to let pass. 

The snake in me wanted to remain in the warm and soft bed. But I knew that I had to get up and get dressed before Jolynn would come and get me. However, someone else beat Jolynn on coming to get me.

“Hello,” Jinx sang as she opened the door to Silco's and my room without knocking. There was a time when I used to give her a lecture about knocking first, but I had dropped that topic a long time ago. I didn't even bother with the “I’m-still-changing” excuse.

“Morning, PJ,” I said as I slipped the long frock dress over me that left my back open. When it was just Jinx and me and I wasn't in a bad mood, I always called her by a nickname.

“Where are you going?” Jinx asked, trying not to sound probing yet failed at it.

“I have a few errands today, mostly checking the businesses,” I said.

“Will it take long?” She asked.

“What do you need, Jinx?” I asked as I did my makeup. She was obviously wanting me to come with her. The question was, was it for food, a new gadget, or she wanted something from my stock. Please let it not be the last one.

“I finished something,” Jinx said.

“Oh, does it say boom?” I asked teasingly as I put shadow to my eyes.

“No. But once I don't need it I could make it say boom,” Jinx joked.

“Is it a new gun?” I asked as I added mascara.

“No. I said it won't go boom,” Jinx said as she walked a bit closer.

“Guns don't go boom. They go bang, bang, bang,” I said and shot with my fingers at the mirror.

“Okay, fine. It won't go bang, boom, ka-boom, or…” Jinx said as she got right next to me.

“Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta,” I half shouted and began to tickle her. We both laughed and sat on the bed to calm down.

“You always do that,” Jinx said giggling.

“Cause you love it,” I said.

“When I was a kid, I'm a big girl now,” Jinx said.

“Oh, well I guess you are too old for my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches then,” I said as I got up.

“Nooo! Never,” Jinx said dramatically and clang to me. “I'm never old enough to let go of you or any food with jelly.”

“And that's why you will always be my PJ,” I said as I booped her nose.

“Madam, are you ready to leave?” Jolynn asked as she slowly peeked inside the room.

“Okayloveyoubyebye,” Jinx said hurriedly, kissed my cheek, and rushed out of the room. But returned to peek behind the door. “But really, come later to check my design.” And then she was gone.

“If she wants another tattoo I refuse to take any sides this time,” Jolynn said sourly.

I laughed at her comment. Yes, it was quite a scene when Jinx wanted to get a tattoo.

***

Silco and I both were sitting on the couch in his office drinking coffee when Jinx dropped down from the roof behind the coffee table and simply dropped the “bomb”.

“Can I get a tattoo?” She asked as innocently as she could. Silco just glanced at her and resumed drinking his coffee, expecting me to handle this.

“You know what I say about tattoos,” I said sipping my coffee.

“Yes,” Jinx said, pouting.

“Good. Now, will I like it?” I asked.

“Hmmm, yes,” Jinx said after considering it a bit.

“Will you be able to hide it if I don't like it?” I asked. Jinx seemed to ponder again and look around herself before she gave an answer.

“Yes.” 

“Is it your own design?”

“In a way.”

“Will you get it done in a proper tattoo parlor and not some cheap joint?”

“I hoped you could recommend one that uses your ink.”

“Will you pay for it and stand still enough till it is done?” I asked.

“Yes.” That answer came fast.

“Sure. Go right ahead.”

Silco almost choked as he spat his coffee when he heard my answer. Fortunately, he managed to keep the couch clean.

“Yesss!” Jinx cheered and before Silco managed to catch his breath the girl was already at the door. “Loveyoubyebye.”

“Wait Jinx…”Silco tried to shout after her but his coughing made it difficult. Jinx however didn't get out of the door, when she crashed with Sevika. 

“Hey, where are you running?” Sevika asked.

“I'm going to get a tattoo,” Jinx said happily.

“Oh hell no, not another freaking moving tat,” Sevika sighed.

“It will be a regular one, but she gets to use my new inks,” I said while I patted Silco on the back as he tried to clear his throat.

“Oh well, in that case, go crazy,” Sevika said and was about to leave it at that, but she saw the face Silco had, so she corrected herself. “But nothing big, okay.”

“Oh come on,” I let out. “It’s a tattoo, not a signia. And everyone in the Lanes has one. Or hopes to have one.”

“Are you serious?” Sevika asked.

“Yup. Go ahead, honey. Jolynn has a list of parlors that are responsible enough to use my stuff,” I said and waved at Jinx.

“Got it,” Jinx said happily and left.

“You really don’t care if she gets a tattoo?” Silco asked.

“I had this rule with kids before, if they answer even one no to my questions, they won't get any tattoos. She said yes to every question so she is free to do so,” I said as I set down my coffee cup.

“She didn't say yes to one of your questions,” Silco said.

“Even better, she asked for me to recommend a place, meaning she isn't going to some shady unhealthy joint but a proper place to get her tattoo. And it is partly her design so I know there is a fifty percent chance that it will turn out nice,” I said.

“But you are cool with the whole concept of tattoos on your kid?” Sevika asked.

“Again, we live in the Lanes. Besides, even if I say no, they do it any way but make it in haste and secret, and it turns out horrible,” I said. “And for someone who already has a snake on her back, I can't say anything against her getting her own.”

“You could have at least tried,” Silco sighed.

“Oh please, are you telling me you don't have a Tattoo?” I asked him.

“No, not even one,” He said.

“Sevika?” I asked.

“Okay, I see where this is going, and I'm going to stop it here,” Sevika said. “If the girl wants a tat and you are fine with it then all should be fine.”

“Is that so?” Silco asked, sounding a bit irritated.

“If she has had this thought before then she knows best,” Sevika said and turned to leave the room. When she opened the door she almost bumped into Jolynn. Both women avoided each other just fine and soon Sevika was gone and Jolynn entered the room.

“Jolynn, I need a list of the best tattoo parlors that use my inks,” I said.

“Why do you need that?” Jolynn asked curiously. 

“Jinx is getting a tattoo,” I said and immediately Silco gave me the most sour look.

“Good for her,” Jolynn said.

Yeah, she regretted that choice of words for a long while. In the end, Jinx got a cool tattoo of smoke clouds on her right arm and side with the blue ink I made for tattoo parlors. And I have to admit, in a way, it did look nice. As for the rest of Jinx's look, she had this loose and wild appearance. I had to modify her favorite pants a couple of times and get her new shoes, but she always wanted to have her vibe on them. And she now had this long two braided hair look with modified weights as bands. Completely erratic look compared to Silco and me. Since we both were leading figures in our own companies, we had to keep up with certain decorum. Me especially since I had caught the eye of a very influential person.

***

“By the way, ma'am, we received an invitation for lunch,” Jolynn said as I finished my makeup.

“From who?” I asked.

“From her,” Jolynn said. She knew not to mention any names in the Last Drop. Even if I lived here, and I still owned the place, this was still Silco's workplace. In order to keep his people away from my businesses I told Jolynn and my other workers to avoid using names here. Silco just needs one misunderstanding and if he knows their name, I could lose a client, a worker, or in worse cases a protégé. That almost happened already and it took a lot of convincing to get Silco to release the boy alive. But I had no problem knowing who Jolynn referred to when she said “her”.

“See I told you she will contact us first,” I said.

“Still, I don't trust her. She invited us to a restaurant at the top,” Jolynn said.

“A little power play. She simply tries to test our metal,” I said. “Let's bring some samples, shall we?”

--

“I'm sorry, madam, but I can't find you on the reservation list,” The butler said. I mentally rolled my eyes, his voice and manner of speaking didn't show it but he was clearly looking down on me and Jolynn. The very few people that went in and out of this restaurant weren't wearing anything flashy or something that my own outfit lacked, but sadly the same couldn't be said for Jolynn. Her outfit was neat and decent, but she always had that air that she was from the sumps. And no matter how nice I dressed up they would use her as an excuse. Which is why I decided not to even try to please these people.

“There isn’t any reservation, I'm expected there,” I said calmly. “You don't believe me then send someone to inquire about it.”

“Ma'am, I cannot send someone to bother our customers while they enjoy their afternoon tea, that would be so disrespectful,” Butler said, still trying to sound polite about it.

“Then get us a table then,” I said, still calm and polite.

“We are full,” Butler said. That was a fat ass lie, I saw at least three tables free from the doorway. I was sure Jolynn was now either feeling guilty for causing me trouble, or she was getting angry, and she was now perhaps considering using her pens as something to stab the guy. From what I saw from the side, Jolynn was about to simply use words to stab the Butler. However, I was better than that. I knew who I was going to meet and I knew how to make this man regret his words.

“Fine then,” I said as if I was giving up. The Butler looked surprised but not as surprised as Jolynn.

“Madam?” Jolynn asked.

“Let’s go, Jolynn. Why should we stay in a place where we clearly aren’t welcome?” I said as I turned to leave and said my next words just loud enough for the certain someone to hear. “I’m sure we can offer someone else our products. It's a good thing I brought samples with me. Maybe we will find someone who is ready to start something entirely new.”

“Wait.”

That was too easy. I expected to reach the door before we were stopped but instead, I simply needed to take one step. The one to call us to stop was a woman I had met a couple of times already. Elora, assistant of the council, especially assisting Mel Medarda.

“Please, do come in, we have been expecting you,” Elora said courteously.

“Oh, really?” I asked as I turned to face her. “And here I thought we were not wanted here.” I enjoyed seeing the Butler going pale as he saw Elora asking me to come with her. He was even more worried when he saw me glance at him with cold eyes.

Elora guided me and Jolynn to the dining hall full of tables. Some had patrons sitting and enjoying their afternoon tea. At the end of the hall, where there were fewer tables and no patrons at all, only one table was occupied. And a woman with a dark skin tone sat enjoying her drink. By the look of the cup, it wasn’t tea but a Turkish coffee. When she saw us coming, she set down her drink and rose to greet me.

“Madam Industrialist,” Mel Medarda greeted me.

“Oh, please, do not call me that way. My husband is the Industrialist, not me,” I said. “Just Madam will do.”

“I meet many madams, it will be awkward if one day I get you mixed with someone else,” Mel said.

“Madam Snake then. Or do they perhaps have an astonishing snake on their body like me?” I said proudly. For this meeting, I wore my favorite green backless, long-sleeved frock and nice leather pants. I liked the frock because it showed so well my snake on my back without making me look too indecent.

“No, I haven’t seen anyone with that sort of mark, even the style is entirely different,” Mel said. “Where is the design from?”

“I’m afraid I can’t say,” I said smiling. “Are we going to keep standing or shall we sit?”

“Let’s sit. Your companion can wait at the side,” Mel said. Ah, we’re doing this again.

“But of course, she can wait with your assistant,” I said smiling.

“Elora stays with me,” Mel said.

“So will Jolynn with me then,” I said. There was a moment of silence. If anyone would have seen this they’d say a cold war would erupt between us. But the only thing that erupted from Merdarda was a delicate and genuine laugh.

“Oh, how refreshing it is to talk to you,” Mel said as she wiped a nonexistent tear from her eye. “Anyone else would try their best to flatter me or feign being interested. But you, you barely greet me, and you already make sure you aren’t looked down upon.”

“If I do that, then my products aren’t that good,” I said. 

“Please, do sit,” Mel invited. “Elora and Jolynn can share the next table.”

We all sat down, Jolynn kept the bag where my samples were. So she made sure she chose a place where she could see when I needed anything. Once we were all seated the Butler came to our table, trying to look as if he had done nothing wrong. Yet, I could smell his discomfort.

“Ah, Jefferson. Right on time. I would like a refill for my coffee, and…” Mel said and left her words hanging to offer me something.

“Just plain water from the tap,” I said without even looking at the man.

“Really? Did you already have something before coming here?” Mel asked curiously.

“No, I just lack the pallet that you Piltoverians have for tea and coffee,” I said as if I was apologizing. 

“Oh, come now. No need to be modest,” Mel said. “This place also has a good collection of liquors.”

“Do they now?” I said as if I was pleasantly surprised and turned to the Butler. “Then a Bilgy whiskey between years 13 and 15, would be easy to find.”

“I-I will check what we have,” Butler said nervously. I detected a flitch of discomfort when I said “whiskey”. They mustn’t have it then. Good. It would embarrass them even more. The man left, while another waiter asked Elora and Jolynn for their orders. I didn’t pick what Elora ordered but I knew what Jolynn always asked when we got to this side of the bridge. A Cappuccino, size large, if they had it. I’m sure they have at least that. If they can’t bring that then… they were screwed. 

“Now, what can I offer you, miss Medarda?” I asked after both the Butler and the waiter were gone.

“Right, to the point,” Mel sighed, smiling. “Aren’t you going to wait for the order?”

“If they can’t get Jolynn her Cappuccino then I will never come here again,” I said. “As for the whiskey, well… I know my husband already bought all of it from years 14 and up.”

“Poor Jefferson,  he is going to have a hard time finding one,” Mel pitied him.

“That’s what he gets for looking down on paying patrons,” I said proudly.

“Come now, he didn’t know you were invited here by me,” Mel said.

“Oh, so it is normal for other kinds of people to come here for tea?” I asked sarcastically. “Or then I’m right when I say he is stupid to think I would come here by my own choice.”

“Where else would you have liked to meet?” Mel asked, smiling.

"Well, that nice place a block from the bridge is nice. Not much great coffee, but they have delicious treats. Especially the sweets,” I said reminiscing. 

“Alright, we can meet there next time,” Mel said.

“You tell me. Will there be a next time?” I asked.

"You think I asked you here just to freshen up the conversation?” Mel laughed. “No, I want to invest in your products.”

“Oh, I think you misunderstood me,” I said. “I’m not looking for investors. I’m looking for buyers.”

“Don’t you need more money to mass-produce your products?” Mel asked curiously. “Especially that oil many use here at Piltover.”

“Two notes, one, my husband is my primary investor. If there were others, he would have their heads. And nuts,” I said, and Mel had no problem understanding what I meant. “And two, I don’t need to mass-produce anything. The oils are sold now because of the Progress Day. Time after that, no one buys it. Except for someone who wants to make something even bigger for the next year.”

“Well, I’m that someone,” Mel said confidently. 

“I didn’t take you for a tinker, miss Medarda,” I said surprisingly. 

“Not me precisely, but I know people who are going to take the progress to the next level,” Mel said.

“Some competition to the Talis boy?” I asked.

“No, he will be in it as well,” Mel said.

“Is that so?” I asked sarcastically. “And what are you going to do? Shoot my products to a faraway land faster? I can just pay the cargo fee, and my inks get to the Bilgewaters.”

“That’s not all Hextech can do,” Mel said.

“What else has it done except shoot an airship to the distance?” I asked. 

“Talis is still studying it. Whatever comes next will be big,” Mel said.

“And we at the Undercity have already made our own big thing,” I said proudly. “Our people can now get augmentations to fix whatever they have lost. We have fresh air even at the bottom of the sumps. We have discovered new types of flora and fauna that can be used either to heal us or to feed us. And we have used that, to make fuel that powers your machines, and pigments to your decorations. Do tell me, what is it that you want from me? And most crucially, what can you give me in exchange?”

“Let's start with the second topic. You talk as if Undercity doesn’t need us anymore, but that isn’t true. You still need us to look after you,” Mel said with her diplomatic voice.

“You mean looking after us while sending enforcers to our streets and abusing defenseless kids, women, and the sick? Or do you mean looking after us by sending us to mine and taking all the labor’s work, while we choke on gas that eventually kills us?” I asked. Mel was silent for a moment. She didn’t look offended, or that she felt bad. She simply looked as if she was bracing herself for even more accusations. “You said, that we act like we don’t need you anymore. That is exactly what me and my husband are doing. We are becoming self-sufficient. We don’t need the support that never comes to the Undercity. We don’t need your pity. And maybe one day, we shall no longer even be attached to you. To prevent such a day from coming too soon, you just need to show us other kinds of benefits in exchange for our products and services.”

Mel gave a sigh, and I saw her fumbled her ring. By the looks of it, it was some mark of family, group, or other affiliation. Whatever it was she stared at it for a moment while fumbling it before she turned to face me.

“How does it sound if I can give you special protection? Not just from criminals but from Enforcers as well?” Mel asked.

“Why would I want that?” I asked surprisingly. “All my guys need is a drop of deluded Shimmer, and they can even throw gorillas out of my premises.”

“Not necessarily to you but to your…other project,” Mel said. “Most of your product’s income goes to support houses for children in the sumps, correct?”

“True,” I said.

“But besides ‘your guys’ what other protection do those children have?” Mel asked.

"They are looked after by some selected individuals, who see that children are fed, clothed, and have a warm bed to sleep in. Once at a certain age and if the children want to they even arrange work for them,” I said.

“But besides that?” Mel asked. “What other protection do they have?” I quirked my eyebrow at her question. I was truly getting interested in her offer.

“What exactly are you offering?” I asked.

“Your guys, as you said, can only protect the children to a certain level. But what about their rights? What if someone comes and starts to abuse them? Someone… dare I say this… from Piltover?”

I was now genuinely surprised. It takes a lot of guts to even admit that, even for a Pilty. But for a Councilwoman? She was aware of what the Undercity was going through. And she knew one day we could become strong enough to rebel again. But this time, it wouldn’t be an attack on the bridge. It would be simply growing apart from them. Only by keeping us happy could they prevent such things from happening.

“You do realize it’s not just any Pilty who would dare to go after these children,” I said, lowering my voice. “I know because I saw four of them at this very side of the bridge when I still lived here with my mother.” Mel knew my past. She had made her investigations before we met the first time. And she knew about the four Enforcer officers who murdered my mother. She knew that it was thanks to me and my husband, Silco the Industrialist, who made sure Enforcers never came across the bridge again in groups. Maybe one or two, but never in groups. The Shimmer had done its job. Now, we have become free of their leash. If they wanted us to behave and not bite them, they had to be smart and careful. 

“With my power, no one can touch them,” Mel said seriously.

“Not even a council member?” I asked. “I doubt any of them indulge such vile desires but some of their relatives or acquaintances might.”

“Yes, if I were to give you my protection, no one, not even a council member, can touch them without first facing me,” Mel said. That sounded very good. Ever since I made the houses, no child has faced trouble with Enforcers. There were some squirming with some Shimmer junkies, gang fights, and a couple of incidents with the workplaces, but nothing serious. But once Silco starts his independence campaign for the Nation of Zaun, things will be different. There will be war. And my resources might not be enough. Having the protection of a Councilwoman will become handy.

“How much oil do you need?” I asked. “In exchange for your protection.”

“For now all you have left,” Mel said. “After that, I can give the certificate that you are under my protection.”

“Is there anything else you wish to get from me?” I asked.

“I heard that you had something new coming up,” Mel said.

“Indeed I do,” I said. I motioned to Jolynn, and she quickly passed me the bag with my samples. “These little beauties are meant for massages.”

--

Mel didn’t show much interest in massage oils and aromatherapy oils that I had. But she had a small glint in her eyes as I explained the properties of the oils. What really had her attention were the two bottles of oils used for lubing augmentations and other machinery. With that as a clue and her previous words regarding the Hextech, I believe she has plans to be part of something else. Is the Hextech going to be expanding its uses? Then, the reason she wants my oils is to help produce them. Already, my oils were well used in many inventions about to be presented on Progress Day. She wanted more of it. Well, then, in that case, I better show something new.

“And to finish with a cherry top, I have a new product to show,” I said. “You are first to see it but I also do hope you will keep quiet about this till we launch the production.” Mel didn't show it but she was curious about what I was about to show. I brought out a bottle that was slightly bigger than other bottles. The liquid inside didn't look much different from my oils for augmentations.

“The oils I made before were meant to lubricate the gears of augmentations and make them easy to handle and fix when they… wear out. But later as new type of augmentations were made and new type of tech came to market the same oil needed to adapt to that. So after several attempts I have managed to make an oil that not only lubricates the gears, it also cools off the machinery, making it less probable to catch on fire. With this sort of oil, the machines can work faster without the risk of overheating too fast. For this to even catch on fire it requires a very high temperature,” I explained.

“What uses could this have?” Mel asked, looking at the bottle.

“We already tested with the automobile of a friend of my husband's. The car worked normally, on foul smell, no overheating even if we made the car go several laps with unthinkable rounds. The engine was still working, and the car made no unsafe sounds, indicating that it was damaged. I made this mostly for the machines my husband uses in his factories to avoid any accidents happening for the workers.”

“Any other uses besides that?” Mel asked.

“Let me say it this way, if there is any machine that has trouble overheating or is dangerous for excess use of power, this thing will make it safe again,” I said. “Or at least the other one under work will.”

“The other one? You are already making another?” Mel asked.

“Similar to this one, but it also can be used as fuel for certain types of machines,” I said. 

“What? The same thing can be used as fuel and lubricant?” Mel asked with shock.

“Why yes. But I would recommend not trying it at the same time. If you use it as lubricant you have to make sure that the machine or a certain part of the machine never gets heated to a certain point. Because then the substance evaporates and creates energy needed as fuel. If you use it as fuel you need to keep the machine at a certain temperature for the fuel to activate and create the energy that is needed to keep the machine moving.”

“But otherwise, the same thing works for both uses?” Mel asked.

“Only if the machine is right,” I said.

“So if there is a different source of fuel for the machine, this can be used as a lubricant,” Mel said looking at the bottle.

“And the best kind of that,” I said smiling. “This will only keep the gears moving, it will also cool off the part exposed to air, and it does not catch fire easily. Unless you force it, of course.”

“Do you have it ready?” Mel asked.

“We still need to determine the correct temperature for the fuel properties. But as a lubricant it is already confirmed to work as good as the one in your hands,” I said.

“When will it be ready?” Mel asked.

“Not too long, in a week maybe,” I said. “If we get the right resources to expand our tests, then we could get it done faster.”

“Then what about this, is this for sale?” Mel asked. I smiled internally as I knew she was hooked.

“Oh, that? That is a sample. I'm not going to sell anything for now. As I said, it is for my husband. He needs it more now,” I said as if I had no better to offer.

“Aren't you interested in selling it?” Mel asked.

“I am tempted, but as I said, my husband needs it more. For now, everyone in Piltover isn’t even building anything that truly needs it,” I said. 

“What could be something that needs it?” Mel asked.

“Something small yet very powerful. Something like…”

“The Hextech?”

“Your Hextech is very big for needing my products,” I said and glanced outside the windows where the big tower stood. “But if the Hextech is the fuel source I believe my substance will make a great lubricant as it keeps everything going on and cooled down. But who am I kidding, we don't know what else we could do with Hextech yet.”

“We don't, but I know someone who does,” Mel said. She looked calm, but I sensed that she was excited.

“Something else than shooting an airship to the distance?” I asked as if I didn't believe her.

“That was just the beginning. I'm sure you too are curious as to what else we can do with it,” Mel said.

“Curious, yes I am. But I'm also a realist. For now, Piltover doesn't need my newest products but styles for my usual offers,” I said as I slowly gathered the sample bottles into the bag. “I apologize for taking your time, Councilwoman Medarda. I had hoped that maybe you too would wish to buy my products. But I'm afraid I go now with the demand, which is my husband and the Undercity. But once we get news of Hextech's new inventions, I will happily meet you again. Maybe by then, we will have something better to offer you.”

“Hold on, there is no rush,” Mel said. “You still haven't received your order.”

“Which is to blame for the poor catering of this establishment. At least, they brought the Cappuccino to Jolynn. But I rather remain thirsty than drink some cheap wannabe whiskeys,” I said and got up. “And now, if you excuse me, I need to head back. I need to make sure my husband has a meal when he gets back home.”

“Just a moment,” Mel said as she got up from her seat. “If there will be new inventions and other uses for Hextech, will you join me and others to sponsor them?”

“Only if they actually invent something,” I said. “Otherwise, I keep selling my products the same way as before. But I will keep bringing my best and newest products to you for early picking.”

“Could I have that sample?” Mel asked.

“But of course,” I said, using my sweetest tone as I finished the bottle from the bag. “Do pass it to your 'someone who knows about Hextech' person. And remember, this is only for lubricant. I'll bring you a sample of the other one once we confirm it passes all tests.”

--

Soon, Jolynn and I were out of the establishment, escorted with heavy apologies from the butler for failing to bring me anything. I knew my order was outrageous but I wanted to make that butler squirm after offending us. But I knew Silco had a bottle of good quality whiskey in his office for me to indulge. He did tell me that now I should only drink the best kind of drinks and nothing cheap to ruin my palette.

Once Jolynn and I were in the Undercity, I was feeling more at home and content with my visit to the top. Medarda had ambitions, no doubt about it. And she knew how to use all sorts of resources. When she first contacted me, I was surprised but also doubtful of her intentions. It took five meetings to learn that she was genuinely interested in my products.

“So are we selling her our new product?” Jolynn asked curiously. She had heard most parts of the conversation, but she still wasn't sure if I was playing all the cards.

“Of course, we sell it to her,” I said happily.

“But you said you made it for…” Jolynn hesitated.

“She doesn't know what Silco does in his factories. And unless she comes down here herself, she will never know,” I said.

“Is it faulty? The new product, I mean,” Jolynn asked.

“Of course not,” I fake gasped as if I was offended. “I never sell anything faulty. But if she believes there is competition  for the product she wants it more, and she pays more.”

Jolynn finally caught on to what I meant as she made a silent “Aah” and followed me. We went to stop in a couple of parlors that used my products to see and hear comments about it. Nothing to report regarding the products only if we could make inks of other colors. We were visiting the last shop for tattoos when something very disturbing happened. 

“Ugh, it's those guys again,” Jolynn said quietly while we sat and waited for the manager to appear. This was a tattoo and piercing shop that used my inks. So surely eccentric people visited this place. But it also meant the loudmouths from the café of yesterday were here. Well, unlike then this was not a place to calm and relax. So if they want to make noise of their hookups then go right ahead.

“You lie, dude,” One of the guys said.

“No, I tell ya, I totally did it,” Other said.

“You say that you fucked the Snakewife?”

Instantly, I felt a vein pop in my forehead. And I saw Jolynn almost rise up but she remained seated as she felt how tense I went. People of the Undercity always had a way to put nicknames for people who were somehow famous or infamous. For example, Vander, when he was alive, was called the Hound. Silco had now gotten his own names such as the Industrialist but in the Undercity, he was also known as the Eye. And of course, after becoming the second most productive business in Undercity, and the only one not affiliated with the Chem Barons, I too got myself a name. The Snakewife. The name hit off as I began to wear the green frock and the eye-catching snake at my back drew attention. And when they saw it move, oh, then they lost it. But I wasn't as big name as the Eye, since my dealings were limited for certain types of people, and I rarely made appearances. Which made it more disturbing for some loudmouth to use my name as a hookup story.

“Hey, she got the snake on her, what does that make her?” The second guy spoke. 

“You could get killed if the Eye hears that you are fucking his wife,” The third one said. “Actually, if anyone hears of this…”

“Ma'am, just say the word, and I will silence them for good,” Jolynn whispered to me. As tempting as that sounded, I needed to remain calm. I could feel the snake on my face as it came towards my eye. But as it did, so did my sense. These guys had to be some wannabes who thought about getting a score while bragging about their hookups. Many people knew Silco from his reputation, but I wasn't that well known. They thought using my name would make them become big leagues. They needed a lesson. And Silco also had to make an example of them. He would never believe that I would do something like that, right? But how to make these pigs scream? Then, an idea came to me.

“Jolynn, give me a knife,” I said quietly.

“Here. If you want I can go and block the entrance,” Jolynn said.

“No need,” I said. I had wondered when to test this trick. When I got the book from Zain, I learned through it that I could do more with my signia. Many signias gave abilities to the one wearing it. But legendary signias, such as mine, could do so much more. Not only did I gain resistance to poisons, a young look, a healing factor, and other snake-like abilities, but I could do something entirely different. But to do the thing I was about to do, I needed to learn two things. One, my snake may move depending on my mood, but it remains on the left side of my body. I can move it consciously but only to the right side. Two, my snake is also connected to me more ways than the one. If focused enough, I can actually see behind my back, as if I was seeing through the eyes of the snake itself. Once I learned to control these two aspects, I could do something else.

I focused on moving my snake to my right wrist. Once there, I slowly moved it to the palm, and as it moved, I cut my palm with the knife. Right as it came closer to the wound, a smaller snake came out of my cut. Since it was my palm, the cut wasn't too wide, but wide enough for a snake to come out of my wound and curl around my wrist. Jolynn looked at my hand with a mixture of horror, shock, and surprise. I made a quick sign for her to be silent as I gave her the knife back. My hand hurt like hell, but I ignored it as I watched the small living snake coiled around my wrist. If someone were to see the snake, they would mistake it as a bracelet. I closed my eyes and focused to sense the little snake. It felt weird, I felt my body numb, but mostly, it was weird to look at myself through the eyes of the little snake. I didn't have more time to test these new sensations when I opened my eyes and faced the snake.

“Follow them,” I whispered. I don't know if the snake understood me or not. But since it was now part of me one way or another understood its mission. The snake slithered away from my wrist, and after I set it down, it went quietly, and unnoticed by others to the three guys who were still talking. I focused to make sure the snake followed the fool who had claimed to fuck me. The snake was so small that it easily slipped into the bootstrap of the person and remained there while looking like a little ring hanging there. I didn't get to check anything else as the manager came to see me. He saw my bleeding hand and immediately asked if I was okay. I dismissed his worries and left for his office to talk about businesses. 

--

After my visit, I went back to the Last Drop and made meals for everyone. I had to apologize to Jinx as I didn’t have time to visit and see her newest project. But she quickly forgave me when I gave her favorite meal with a promise of desert. Once everyone was fed, including me, I went to my room and laid on the bed. For me to follow the snake, I had to close my eyes and focus on locating my snake. According to the book, this will be easiest when I have only one snake out there. If I have made more it gets more difficult to follow everyone. When I closed my eyes, I had no trouble connecting to my snake’s eyes. Even less, did I have trouble recognizing where I was. That disgusting pig had gone to a brothel, once again. It took me a good while to learn which one it was from all the places in the lanes. Once I focused more I could get the hearing and smells from the snake. The sounds I wish I could block, but it did give a clue that this was the place where the pig came to fuck the Snakewife. But it was the smell that gave me the clue where it was. Many places use different musk and perfumes to elevate their services. I know because I made a couple of them. But this wasn’t mine, yet it was familiar. It was familiar because I always smelled it on Sevika. And there is one place she frequents regularly. Babette’s. Hers is the most secluded and only lets in certain types of people. But now I had to make the visit and make a couple of things clear before something catches on fire. 

I was about to try and get a sniff from who was this fake Snakewife when the door to my room opened, and Silco walked in. I opened my eyes, and the connection was lost to the snake. I turned to look at him and saw a very annoyed frown on his face.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Silco said, sounding vexed. It can't be nothing with that tone. I got up from the bed and walked to him as he pulled the cravat off. I helped with the vest, and he just stood but faced away from me. He was mad.

“Tell me, what happened?” I said calmly.

“I don't want to talk about it,” Silco said with a low voice. Wow, somebody screwed up big time. Hopefully, not someone I know.

“Bad day?” I asked. Silco didn’t answer, so it has to be it. “Is someone going to die?”

“Maybe,” Silco growled.

“Well, make sure they know why they are going to die. And make sure others who will see it know why as well,” I said as I removed the vest.

“Oh, I will make sure they know,” Silco said. “I will do so personally.”

Poor fellow, whoever they are. Silco can be cruel when he is angry. And he rarely is. He can be annoyed and vexed, but when he gets angry it is something to be reckoned with. I set the vest away and turned back to place my arms around his neck before I kissed his cheek.

“Anything I can do to make things better?” I asked sweetly. Only then did he face me and chuckled before he put his arms around me.

“You can do a lot of things to make things better,” He said, smiling his charming smile. “One would be you joining me in the shower.”

“Good,” I said and kissed him on the lips. “Just remember to shower again once you actually kill them. I would rather not smell their nasty blood on you.”

“Deal,” He said and kissed me again. Tomorrow proved to be a long one for both of us. I didn't know that it was going to be a complicated one as well. 

Next ->

[oneatlatime]

The Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World

I'll be watching this two part episode as two separate episodes.

Starting strong with some stunning pastoral views.

I like how Appa's shadow undulates over the clouds.

Is Aang passively airbending at all times when they're on Appa? Otherwise how do they hear each other? Unless it's a windless day and they're flying at walking pace there's no way they would be able to have a conversation.

Can you imagine the freedom of being able to throw yourself into the air with no consequences? Imagine how being able to ignore gravity since (presumably) a very young age would shape your worldview. Aang must look at the world in a fundamentally different way.

Blow dried Momo.

Could Katara stop babying Aang for five minutes?

The perspective is so funky in this shot that Appa looks Momo sized.

Did Gyatso say that Roku specifically would help Aang? He said that someone in that special room would guide him, but the only living creature in there was Momo.

Emotional support Momo. Maybe the help Gyatso spoke of actually was Momo.

Every time Iroh appears I become increasingly convinced that the creators of this show are fans of The Big Lebowski.

I love Iroh weaponizing teenage awkwardness to get himself five more minutes in the tub. I think I can also now declare myself officially used to Zuko's voice. I no longer find it muppety.

This is the environmentalism after school special.

The way this guy talks about flying Bison and airbender tattoos, is he actually old enough to have known airbenders?

Katara blindly trusts this guy because... he's old?

Pretty.

"It is the greatest honour of a lifetime to be in your presence." "Nice to meet you too." Yep, those greetings are definitely in proportion to each other.

I love the lighting in this scene. Everything has this golden glow.

The winter solstice sounds a bit like Halloween. The walls between worlds thin to almost nothing and things can cross over which shouldn't.

Aang's eyes are brown in this episode.

I love this attitude. Optimistic, upbeat. "I have to try, don't I?" is so true.

Is it just me, or is Sokka's ponytail weird this episode?

I think this is the Bumi guard voice guy again.

This episode appears to be taking place in a part of the Earth Kingdom that hasn't been taken over by the Fire Nation (unlike last episode). So for Zuko & crew, this is enemy territory. Iroh, who is a general with a fancy title, the brother of the leader of the fire nation (so I guess the next in line to the throne?), and so recognisable to the enemy that they can identify him without a single piece of insignia or even clothing denoting his country of origin, thought it would be a good idea idea to have a solo, unguarded spa day here? I bet the fire nation is happy the other brother is the one in charge.

More pretty.

Sokka racking up some major Big Brother points this episode. Aang may be the Avatar, which makes this kind of stuff his responsibility, but he's also 12 and clueless. He shouldn't have to face this alone.

This village must be close to the Avatar world's equator because that sun set ridiculously quickly.

You know, if I turned around and saw that thing following me, my first impulse would be to scream and run away, not introduce myself. This is why I'm not the Avatar.

If that's their water tower gone, this village is done for with or without the Avatar's help.

This spirit is throwing a proper tantrum. I love the way it moves too fast to see. I did not see Sokka getting kidnapped coming. I actually had to rewind and watch it again because it happened so fast that I did not see it at all the first time through.

I think the fire nation solider here is the Bumi guard voice too.

This is an insane shoulder to waist ratio. Also nice to see Zuko figure it out so quickly. This show has given me the impression so far that he's kind of stupid, but I guess not.

It's a panda! Black and White spirit, plus the environmentalism stuff from earlier, I really should have put that together sooner.

"I Failed." yeah you kind of did. So pick yourself up and try again.

Bird horses? Also those earth soldier helmets are probably really effective, but they look so stupid.

Proof that Katara is used to relying on Sokka to do all of her thinking and planning like I said last episode. If Sokka was the one left behind and Katara the one missing, he would not be so passive.

"All I have to do is figure out what I have to do. But once I do that, no problem." Even the most impossible tasks can be broken down into manageable steps. I love Aang's attitude.

It's so painfully in character that what gets Katara out of her funk is looking after someone else.

Where's Momo in all this?

In the spirit world, the avatar is just some guy? Can't bend. So what makes him uniquely qualified to be the guy who deals with spirits?

Dragons can talk with their whiskers. I'm sure I've seen that somewhere before.

Iroh can see stuff in the spirit world? Maybe it's an old people thing?

How stupid are these earthbender guards? Nice call back to the water heating trick. This show is really good at set up and payoff like that.

This dragon is very fluent at talking in pictures. Also the sky in the accelerated days and nights animation is actual live action footage of sky, right?

Earthbenders can skate on their bare feet. That's beyond cool. Imagine having an inborn ability to sock slide at will. I'd never walk anywhere again. Only slide.

Comforting Appa really did get her out of her funk and inspire action. Neat.

Aang and Zuko's stories do intersect this episode after all. Also I had no idea the two parties were this close to each other. Zuko showing this episode that in addition to deductive reasoning, he also has long-distance tracking skills.

I want to visit this village just to see the sunsets in person.

Iroh was right, they were clearly outmatched. These guys are just the worst. They're on a dirt floor in a dirt cave with the advantage of numbers and actual pants, and they still lose. Did Iroh even firebend?

I take back what I said earlier about Iroh being stupid for going off alone in enemy territory. If this is the calibre of soldiers he knew he would possibly run into, then he was perfectly safe all along. Although the last minute rescue from Zuko was a nice touch. Did anyone really believe that he would choose chasing the Avatar over his uncle? I didn't.

I like the creepy spirit whispering at the gate.

Did Katara yelling to Aang attract the spirit's attention to that main building? Because it seemed to be ignoring it before.

Chekov's acorn!

When Aang went to the spirit world, his body stayed behind on the statue's head. But when Sokka went his whole self was stuck there? Also that bathroom joke is payback for all the denied potty breaks.

Sokka's practicality and bluntness is just so perfect this episode. A nice counter balance to the spirity stuff. Just spent 24 hours in the Spirit world? That's nice. Can we have supplies?

Momo's back in these final scenes, but where was he the rest of the episode?

How does Aang know the island is in the fire nation? From the temple architecture?

Final Thoughts

I really like this episode! There is so much that is good: -beautiful visuals (so many sunsets!) -interesting sound design (that whispering was neat, and the single wind chime in the last spirit attack was so eerie) -so many well-executed set ups and payoffs (acorn, firebending heating stuff, how the spirit does relate to the burnt forest from the beginning) -So much good dialogue, from Zuko especially ("Now would you please put on some clothes?!?" / *sniffs* "Yeah, that's Uncle Iroh.") -relationship stuff (Sokka being big brother, Katara being lost without him until someone else needs her to be strong, Aang's relationship to his responsibilities both internally within himself and externally with how the village sees him and what it expects of him, the exasperated teenager and secretly amused parent dynamic between Zuko and Iroh switching flawlessly into a fighting team, then flawlessly back) -Everyone feels in character (optimistic sweetheart Aang, practical protective Sokka, caring Katara, super chill yet super skilled Iroh, Zuko just so fed up with everything) -The humour was downplayed this episode but the few jokes that were there were genuinely funny. Sokka getting hit with the acorn in particular. I'm thinking that there must have been a rule in the writing room that it's not a proper Avatar episode unless Sokka gets to be the butt of the joke at least once. -Zuko and Iroh finally getting fleshed out a bit. I feel like this is the first episode where Zuko hasn't come off as an asshole. -Worldbuilding (this is the first time the avatar's done his job as per the job description) -How it's supposed to be the first half of a two part episode but it doesn't feel like set up at all. It's a self-contained story with actual stakes, a conclusion that matters, lessons learned all around, and ALSO set up for next episode.

Once I had gotten a good look at firebending in the Southern Air Temple episode I started wondering how the fire nation hadn't completely decimated all their enemies. After I saw Bumi's bending skills I understood how the earth kingdom had resisted the fire nation for a century, but Bumi really was the exception to the rule, wasn't he? If these earth kingdom soldiers are typical of the earth kingdom army, I'm going to have to switch back to my original opinion and wonder why the fire nation didn't win the war 85 years ago. Because these guys are bad. They are surrounded by their element. Their prisoner is standing on their element. Just make the ground grab his feet! He'll be a sitting duck and they'll be able to do whatever they want to him. Better yet, just bury him completely. Or make handcuffs out of rock instead of metal. That being said, the soldiers' stupidity set up a really cool fight scene. How did Zuko not break his foot with that kick?

Everything is woven together so well in this episode. Almost nothing feels contrived - you can't tell me that Zuko didn't wait behind a bush somewhere so he could time his rescue of Iroh to have maximum drama. But otherwise this episode feels organic - like we were actually watching a couple of days in the life of these people.

I really liked this one.

[erika111111]

This will likely be my last post about the remake, but since it came out today and I was actually able to skim through a playthrough, I'll give my final thoughts.

First, the bad stuff, besides the millions of things I already mentioned in my previous post about the remake and why I hate it...

They call THAT an extended prolouge? There was like, 2 minutes worth of new content, they really played it out like it was going to be actually extended and fleshed out, showing Hannah and Beth as actual individual characters and not just "Josh's sisters" and show the roles they played in the friend group. This so-called extended prolouge did NONE of that. A couple of cute pics in a camera roll does NOT cut it. I thought we were gonna see the pre-party, I thought Hannah and Beth would have new lines, I thought it would be the length of a full chapter. You know, I thought it would do everything they said it was going to do, but go figure, they lied about that too...

Why did they make Jessica's breasts so big??? Nevermind, I know exactly why. Because Jess is supposed to have a great body and the assholes who made this don't think women can be attractive if they don't have giant boobs. That's absolutely disgusting, ESPECIALLY because she was quite literally modeled/mocapped after Meaghan Martin so they're literally insulting her body saying she wasn't attractive enough. What a dick move.

The music is a little off. Some say it's just for the streamer mode like how they have in The Quarry, so I guess I'll refrain from total judgment on that one.

I really don't like how they changed the character's traits. It seems like something simple and stupid to complain about, but the traits actually helped me understand the characters more, especially the ones without a lot of screentime/playtime. It's a change I'm not sure why they made, honestly.

Bro, did they leave an old picture of Hannah in there? At like, her most prominent scene in the entire game? I'm pretty damn sure the picture it shows of her/her tattoo after Josh recognizes her as a Wendigo is from the original. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the picture didn't look updated. This isn't like, something I'm passionately furious about, it just adds to their incompetence.

I can't believe they changed Ashley getting Chris killed, as I expected based off the new trophy. Just leave the characters' negative traits in. Honestly, Ashley getting him killed as so much more to her character that a lot of people don't appreciate or understand. Which is obviously why they changed it but damn, I really wish they didn't cave in to all the negative feedback. It doesn't even really add up anymore, there wasn't even a flashback to Chris shooting her so you're kind of left wondering why she hesitated at all in this version. Like, she still cares about him all the same based on her reaction after he dies, so what the hell even just happened? They made it really sloppy and hard to understand. Everybody just wants Ashley to be a simple good girl because they hate complex female characters, but it was so much better that she actually was multi-dimensional. (And this is coming from a huge Chrashley shipper, btw, so I prefer the option where he doesn't shoot Ashley, but the alternate version helps showcase other sides to her very well.)

Some stuff I'm neutral about would be... some changes to the dialogue that doesn't really make a difference. The character's pictures in the Dr. Hill book are different but they had to do that because of the changes to the character designs/graphics. Shaking the snowglobe was cute, was it a reference to Rush of Blood actually?? Not sure how to feel about the new Wendigo sounds, they're less threatening but a little more human so it evens out. Also I liked the idea of the Hunger Totems but I couldn't find them all, I only saw three which all seemed pretty repetitive but I won't judge because I haven't seen them all.

Now to the very minimal good stuff...

I stand by my initial praise of the game, which I'm now mostly embarrassed to remember I once praised this disaster of a remake, but the graphics are absolutely gorgeous. That's undeniable, I don't care what anybody says. You know, that's why I wanted a remaster so bad, but instead I got a shitty remake...

Hannah reacting to the prank was actually pretty good. I liked the slow-motion zoom-ins of everybody before she runs off.

I'm happy they included the DLC scene with Matt and Emily. If this remake can do one good thing in its life, maybe it'll show people more sides to Matt and Em who couldn't see that content originally.

The pictures in the camera were cute. I'm particularly glad it showed Ashley and Matt hanging out because I thought they were supposed to be friends but they don't have a lot of screentime together regardless.

I don't know why but I really liked Emily playing the little instrument thingy. It was cute, lol.

Fuck it. Don't really have much more to say that I didn't already in my last post and I don't think I even have it in me to keep talking about this. Since day one it seemed like they just caved into every nonsensical complaint the fanbase had and just turned it into a complete mess due to pressure and incompetence.

And for context, before anybody talks shit, I watched the prolouge in full and then skimmed through the rest (that I didn't already see beforehand). As toxic as the Supermassive Games fanbase already is, I'm not surprised at all that the remaster defenders are extremely nasty and toxic already. Don't get me wrong, the haters in the beginning who hated it before there was anything more than an announcement were just as bad (and even some modern now haters too), but now there's actual reasonable criticism to be had and not a whole lot of reasons to like it. And this post isn't trying to force anybody to dislike or boycott the remake or whatever, you can have whichever opinion you want to have. But I personally need to vent about this. And maybe it can also shed some light on the changes in the remake for other people too. I'm just really sad because the graphics are beautiful and you can play it on different systems now, literally EXACTLY what I've wanted for years now, but they just ruined so many other things about it so I can't properly enjoy it... Maybe it'll grow on me or maybe I'll be such a slut for the good graphics, I'll give it a try, but for now, I'm just a real sad girl.

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 27

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Warnings: mentions of trauma and child abuse

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

To be honest, I don't expect him to come back the morning after. And I wouldn't blame him. Meeting my parents when we're still handling this type of situationship, all while trying to dig into a trauma I didn't even know I had until a few days ago isn't the plan you'd go for if you could choose. He rushes to prove me wrong again, as he loves to do usually, when I get a text message from him.

Asshole: Hurry up, ur coffee will get cold.

I save my phone inside my back pocket, and collect my jacket and bag before I look around to make sure I'll leave everything as I should.

When I hop on the car, I barely can hold back my smile when I see him. And it's not something new. Jungkook just has that bright aura that's able to change the mood just by his presence. I'm also surprised he isn't wearing his usual black or gray outfits, and see he opted for a pink denim jacket over a white t-shirt.

—Did you dress up to meet my parents? —I tease him.

—First impressions are important —he hands me the coffee cup.

—You're going to support me, not ask for my hand in marriage.

Jungkook laughs, and asks me if I'm ready before he starts the engine to get the car back to the road. The weather is chilly, and I love how it started heating up once we entered the month of June -it definitely feels so nice to be able to open the window and feel the light breeze.

—Won't you be hot with that jacket on?

—Won't you be cold without a jacket on?

He snaps back, smirking when he sees I have no response to his question. June is definitely a confusing time. Basically, because once you step outside, you won't be able to tell what the weather actually is just by looking at people in the street.

—Why did you tint it black? —I play with one of his black locks in between my fingers.

—My hair was a mix of purple and black, it was looking awful already —I catch him trying to look at me through the corner of his eye—. Why? Are you missing the purple?

—It's not that —I tuck that strand of hair behind his ear—. I was just used to it.

I move my hand away, playing with the line of silver rings hanging on his earlobe with the reverse of my index, before I place it back on my lap. He doesn't need to say he likes it when I do that, the way he smiles only showing his front teeth is loud enough.

—How are you feeling? —he sips from the straw, before leaving the plastic cup back in the cup holder.

Sighing loud, I move my eyes away back to the road. If I had told myself three months ago I'd be visiting my parents, with the same guy I couldn't stand two months ago, because they're the only ones that know why I can't get near a male, I wouldn't believe it. It's overwhelming how much things can change in such a short span of time.

—Nervous —I scoff—. I don't know how they'll react when they see me. It's been too long. And I'm not sure how I should introduce the...

—I get it —he nods, interrupting me as he sees me struggling to finish the sentence—. Just let it flow. Let it all settle before you bring up that incident, enjoy some time with them. You need to be comfortable to discuss that.

The rest of the way there, we're in silence -that only ends up being filled by the almost inaudible voices and music of the songs playing on the radio. I'm too focused on replaying in my head the different possible scenarios that could take place soon, while I try to find the best way to act in each one of them.

More than one hour later, he enters my old neighborhood. And I'm amazed with the difference with the place I'm currently living in. Well, honestly, I've been amazed since we entered the town and didn't hear the loud noise of cars passing by, or having the streets totally crowded. It's not silent and there's people in the street, but still the difference is abysmal.

I feel my heart climbing on my throat as we start getting closer to my parents' house. Suddenly, everything I had prepared on our way here disappeared. There's nothing left, and I'm left totally on my own.

—This place is so nice —he hums, looking around as we both get out of the car.

—Yeah.

I look around, but my eyes keep going back to the salmon colored facade house in front of me. Last time I was here I was almost running away, getting in a cab to the nearest bus station just so I could start living my own life.

—I bet it would've been so easy to sneak into your room at night —he randomly mentions, looking in the same direction I am.

—Yeah, good luck with that, Spider man. You would've woken up the whole neighborhood with the alarm.

—That's why you'd work to deactivate it —he replies, throwing a serious stare at me—. We're a team, cocktease.

While I chuckle at his comment, I think how thankful I am that he insisted on coming. I wasn't aware how difficult this would be for me until I found myself facing the problem for the first time.

I try to look for my dad's or my mom's car, to know whether they're at home or not. And I see a new and shiny sedan parked right outside of the garage door.

I was hopeful I'd have to push the whole thing a bit later, but the fact that one of them -or the two of them- are at home right now totally takes away that possibility.

My body enters a type of automatic mode, guided by what I know I have to do and leaving aside all my insecurities. I'm not aware of how much I've walked to the main door, or how long I've been pressing the ring bell until Jungkook moves my hand away. His thumb strokes the reverse in my hand, trying to calm me down. And it does work, even if it's just for a few seconds until the door opens in front of us.

My dad's thick eyebrows furrow when he opens up and sees me. His gray eyes are fixed on me, he seems to be analyzing each one of the features in my face, because his pupils move everywhere until they find their way back to my eyes.

—I didn't know you were coming. Your mom didn't tell me anything.

—Mom doesn't know either —I answer right away—. If I'm honest, I wasn't sure there would be someone at home.

—I'm on my day off in the factory —he stutters those words, he seems as nervous as I am.

We look at each other, not in a challenging way. I guess we're both equally surprised of me being here out of nowhere. After my grandma's funeral, there wasn't any type of contact between us. I've always managed to live my own life without problems, and I've never seen myself in a position where I wouldn't be able to find the way out by myself. Well, until now.

—I'm Jungkook.

He breaks the silence, and overthrows the wall that was forming in between me and my dad when he extends his tattooed hand towards the man that has opened the door for us.

—William —he says with a tiny smile—. Will —he corrects himself—. Is he your...? —his gray eyes go back to me— I mean, are you two dating?

—No —I answer fast.

—I'm just a friend.

This is so weird.

—Do you want to come in?

Jungkook looks at me, waiting for me to answer, while my dad just opens the door even more and steps back, giving us room to pass in.

And the strangeness only becomes bigger when I'm in and I make my way to the living room, guided by my dad. Oodles of memories start replaying before my eyes. Every single time I rushed to the door, still chewing my breakfast, before I left for school; the overly decorated Christmas, the loud and cheerful birthdays filled with balloons over the house... But I also see myself sitting on that chunky dining table, studying while my classmates were meeting up somewhere nice, I also see the constant arguments because I wasn't allowed to live the way others did.

I vividly recall in my head my last day here, how I barely talked to them, how I didn't wait to have lunch to get all my bags in the cab, and how they didn't even bat an eye when I said I was leaving.

—Y/n —Jungkook calls me.

When I turn to my dad, he's looking at me with tenderness, before he asks again whether we want something to drink or to eat. He also offers us a seat, which I take on what was my usual seat years ago.

—Is mom working?

—I don't think she'll take too long. She should be finishing her shift in two hours —I nod—. I'm really happy to see you here —he assures me.

A thick and uncomfortable silence stays with that after that comment. A silence that Jungkook tries to make disappear again, when his curious eyes travel across the living room until he finds something he could ask about. But my father is faster, and has seemed to catch a glimpse of the tattoos in his hand.

—I've always wanted to get one —he chuckles—. But every time I've postponed it. And look at me now, too old to get one.

—Oh, that's bullshit —he says without thinking, but stops as soon as he's aware—. Sorry, sir.

My dad simply shrugs it off, and encourages him to proceed.

—It's never too late —he shakes his hand in the air—. In fact, whenever you come to New York, come to my studio. I'll work on it personally.

—I'll sleep on it.

Silence is back, but not for that long. This time, my father is the one who brings up a topic and asks how everything is going. Or, how he likes to say "How's life been treating me?". Instead of lying, and inventing a perfect life with my dream job, I'm honest. I admit I've been struggling to find a vacancy in that world I crazily craved to be in. I don't get the judging look I thought I'd be getting, he doesn't throw a hurtful comment to make me feel bad about my choice. Instead, he smiles and guarantees I'll find my place soon.

The uncomfortable environment starts disappearing slowly, to the point that we start talking randomly about life, about the world and how fucked up it is. I'm more surprised to see how well both Jungkook and my father seem to get on. Well, it's not that big of a surprise, since Jungkook just has that effect in general, but it was unexpected.

This peace and ease takes a turn when my mom comes back home. She greets my father from the door, but suddenly stops when she sees me.

Their reactions have been quite similar anyway. They seemed uncomfortable, not in a bad way, not in the sense of them not wanting me here, but more towards being unsure on what to do or say exactly. And if it comforts them, I'm feeling the exact same way.

—I know I should've called before.

—You know this is your home. You can come whenever you want —my mom answers fast, sitting next to my father on the armrest of the couch.

—I know, but it's been too long. And I came out of nowhere.

—It's okay —my father nods.

Silence is back again, but the environment feels different. It's like we all know why I'm here all of a sudden, but nobody is able to bring it up. I feel a light weight on my hand, just to find Jungkook's fingers trying to give me the strength I can't seem to find by myself.

—I wish the reason why I'm here was because I was able to find a nice job and prove my degree wasn't useless, but I'm not here because of that —I slide my hands over my legs nervously.

—We know why you're here —my mom says—. I wish it was because you wanted to see us, but that's not the case either.

I might be looking completely confused, because I don't need to ask any questions to get them to answer them.

—Your therapist already told us that sooner or later you'd come back for answers —my father mentions, avoiding looking at me—. And we should always be open to sharing them with you.

I try to find the best way to start. Unsure on whether I should explain what's been going on the last few weeks, or directly ask what I want to know.

Jungkook holds my hand tighter, giving me the courage I can't find anywhere to speak, to open up.

—I've been having nightmares —I'm limited to say—. Nightmares that seemed too realistic, in a place that I've been able to recognize. So I went to a therapist, and he said that those nightmares could be linked to some type of trauma I went through when I was younger —I take a big breath—. You are the only ones that could help me right now. Yesterday I was looking up online and it said I could take months, or even years, to remember everything by myself. And I don't want to go through this for so long. I can't live like this for so long.

My mother nods, but she doesn't start speaking straight away. She needs time to think, and I want to give it to her. That's why I'm here.

—You had a friend you were close to when you were younger —my mother starts—. You used to go to her place to play and do your homework.

Looking at my father, she nods and signs him to bring something, while muttering "Show it to her". He stands up to open one of the drawers in the big wooden cabinet, placed in front of the dining table. When he comes back, he hands me a photograph. It's a picture of me and a blonde girl that's a little bit taller than me.

—You and Amber were glued to each other. Always together —she smiles—. So it wasn't weird you went to her place after school, just like she came here many times. One of those afternoons, you decided to play hide and seek...

As she starts narrating everything that happened, the scenes appear in my head. Like a movie you wish you had never watched.

Amber always came up with the best ways to entertain us, always made every game sound so interesting that it was difficult not to want to play. That's why she's my best friend. We always have a great time together.

I'm hurrying to find a place to hide while she's counting down out loud from the kitchen, but I can't find the perfect spot to win the game. I know she'll be able to find me in each one of the previous spots I've chosen. So when I see the door to his parents' room half open, I head in there without giving it a second thought. Her parents aren't here, and by the time they arrive, we'll be finished with this game.

I could've picked a lot of places, but I end up choosing the closet. It has some slits that will allow me to see her coming, and foresee her movements so I can start running whenever she heads to the opposite direction of where I am.

Happy with my plan, I just sit there and wait for Amber to show up at any time -especially when her singing tone starts sounding louder and clearer. And after what seems way too long, she finally makes it into her parents' room. I'm getting ready to start running whenever I see the chance. I'm already getting up and placing my hand on the closet door to push it, but when I'm about to get out, a male body shows up.

Scared of being scolded for getting inside their room, I step back and keep quiet. I'll stay a little longer.

At first, I think her father is just greeting her. But how she starts whimpering and begging him not to punish her, just makes me think she might get scolded for getting in this room. And that only convinces me even more that I shouldn't leave this closet yet. But the way he scolds her is so weird. He throws her onto the bed, and gets over her body. He doesn't get naked, but I see him lowering his pants, as Amber tells him to stop and asks for help simultaneously.

I want to help, I want to ask for help. But I'm so scared I don't know what to do, so I just sit there, bracing myself and trying to cover up my ears while I beg for all of this to be over as soon as possible.

The drowned screams stop. I don't know when they stopped, but I can't hear them anymore. Looking through one of the slits, with blurry vision, I try to see if there's someone in the room, but it's empty again. Only thing left from what happened are the messy sheets, especially towards the edge of the bed.

As I see the chance, I run. I head downstairs, and seeing no one is on sight, not even Amber, I start running away. No direction, I just want to forget what I saw.

—We were looking for you all night —I hear my dad say—. We were lucky a neighbor saw you getting in the park.

—When we saw you in that state, we thought the worst. But then you told us what happened —my mom scratches her nape—. You looked so devastated we didn't think you were lying. So we talked to Amber's mother and told her.

—You barely ate, you didn't speak, you had awful nightmares at night —my dad continues—. And they all stopped one night.

—The therapist told us it was a way to cope with what happened, but that it could have some effects on the long run. You didn't remember anything, it just vanished. We had the choice of telling you or hiding it and letting you be happy. And, as a mother, I made the best decision for you.

—What happened to Amber?

—It was proven her dad had been sexually assaulting her —her voice trembles—. He went to jail, but he killed himself two weeks later.

—And last I knew about Amber, she moved to California with her boyfriend. She seems to be doing great.

—She and her mother moved away after everything happened —my mom explains—. Diane wanted to protect Amber, that house was filled with memories wherever they looked. And she also wanted to protect you. When we told her you forgot about everything, her mother thought it'd be better if you just stopped hanging out with Amber so there wouldn't be any possibility of you remembering.

Although I'm happy to hear she is doing fine, seemingly, and has just gone on with life, I can't help but feel overwhelmed by all this new information. It's not cold, yet I feel my whole body tremble, and I can't find a way to make it stop.

—You were only ten when it happened. We wanted to protect you from everything, we needed to know that you'd be okay —I hear my father say—. Probably the way we did it wasn't the best, and we realized the day you told us you wanted to leave, but keeping you safe was the only thing we wanted.

I look at the both of them, annoyed over the fact that they always need to have a say on what I do, even if it's about my future. Right when I needed their support the most, they decided to take it away and try to convince me to do it their own way. So when my mother says I'll be grateful once I get older, I can't help but scoff.

—Just like I should be thankful for having no friends? For being eighteen and living my life only by looking at others through my window? I want to live my life, make my mistakes, and get my own achievements. I just want to live and do what others do. 

I'm unable to lift my gaze and looks at them right now. My eyes are glued to my own hands on my laps, and my fingers moving nervously against one another while I see the teardrops making my vision blurry until I can't hold them any longer. I don't even need to blink for them to fall off, and land on the exposed skin of my forearm.

—That's why I talked to my mom, and asked her to look after you while you were there. We wanted to know that you'd be sleeping in a safe place, and wouldn't be totally by yourself in New York —I listen to my dad mention.

Although I wish I could say something, it's just too much information right now. The walls and ceiling seem to be getting closer, making the room smaller, as time passes by. And I try to stay here, make the walls go back to their place, but that never happens. I feel forced to stand up and head outside. And it's not until I feel the chilly breeze hit me, that I allow myself to break in a whimper.

I realize just now everything I've been missing. Not only in my teenage years, but with my parents as well. Realizing everything could've been so different if I hadn't chosen to hide in that closet that day, everything that could've been, only makes me aware how a small and innocent decision turned my life upside down. And how I allowed it to happen. I protected myself, yet I made everyone around me worry and suffer, forced everyone to mold to what I needed without being aware of it.

I don't know how long I stay outside, but I'm aware of Jungkook's presence when his warmth covers my body and his arms wrapped around me. And time stops when I turn on my feet to hide my face on his neck, holding onto him as if he were the only safe place I needed, the only safe place where I actually feel nothing wrong could happen.

After what feels like forever, I think I'm calm enough to go back inside. My parents' eyes set on both of us, especially me the moment we cross the door to the living room. And although I'm convinced discomfort and strangeness will go back to invading the place, my mom is faster and comes up with the idea of having lunch together.

I turn to Jungkook, unsure on whether this will be okay for him. But he just gives me a reassuring smile, and nods.

The time we spend together makes me realize several things. One of them is that seeing so much time wasted hurts and there's no turning back, but if life gives you a chance to realize it on time, it means it's giving you a second chance to make even better memories. And the other, that it doesn't matter who Jungkook is with, he always ends up making everyone fall for him so easily. He just has that gift.

—Come whenever you want, alright? —my father tells me, while we head to the door— And make sure to bring him, too —his head points to Jungkook, who's still praising my mom for the food while holding a Tupperware with the leftovers.

—It was a pleasure, sir —Jungkook said, but soon he corrects himself—. I mean, Will.

—Come more often —my mother says, when she stands next to my dad—. And be careful on your way back —she now looks at the man standing next to me—. Add a bit more cream while you're cooking it, it'll make the sauce softer.

He just nods with a smile, before saying goodbye to both of them again while waiting for me to take the first step out. I think about hugging them both, I think I should do it, but I don't feel comfortable enough to do it. It just doesn't feel natural for me to do it right now. And they both seem to understand it, as they only nod and pat my upper arm. 

[whats-wild-to-you]

Hellooo! I hope you’re doing well and healthy :)

Can I request you write a smut if you’re comfortable and when you have time

So the reader is playing with herself to Reply by Jay and he catches her

Thank you 🫶🏻

Goddamn! 🥵🥵 THAT SONG !!! It’s been a while since I wrote a smut 🫣🤭

Also, why are Jay’s sexy songs always so damn descriptive. They’re like a manual on how to seduce him 🥵

________________________________________

With Jay being away so much, it gave you an opportunity to declutter your shared home. You had wanted to do it for a while but always procrastinated.

Your phone beeping startled you, and you almost spilled your coffee.

Baby, I’m coming back early! Did you miss me? Tonight, you are going to be all I’ll be concentrating on 😊

Even though he attached an innocent looking emoji at the end, your cheeks almost immediately heated up.

Right. No more delays. You’d clean up and prepare his favorite dish for him.

It was past 10pm and you still waited for Jay, barely able to keep both eyes open. The food was cold and your outfit felt uncomfortable. All you wanted was to take off your clothes and lie in bed.

But just in that moment, another text lit up your screen.

I’ll be home in 30 minutes 😏

You chuckled, staring at the flirty message. Immediately you felt alert and went to the kitchen to get some candles. With the mood set, you looked through your CD collection for some slow music to put on but no song seemed fitting.

Then you remembered how you found some of Jay’s old albums earlier today. Without thinking too much, you decided to put on EYW.

First, lock the door girl

Cus this song is rated R

Focus now

Listen baby to what I am trying to say

Take off your T-shirt first

Take your pants off too

Don't take off your underwear

Leave your bra and underwear on

“Good Lord!” You chuckled, but felt the heat rise to your cheeks.

You leaned back on the sofa and closed your eyes. It had been 9 weeks since Jay left and you missed him terribly. His voice, his laugh, his touch. His body weight on you.

Driven by an all-consuming desire, you slowly unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying out of it and dropping it on the ground. Next it was your cropped top that landed unceremoniously on the floor.

You wore your fanciest, sexiest underwear today, your lace panties caused an arousing friction. Getting rid of them first, then lastly taking off your bra, you laid there completely naked, letting Jay’s voice slowly caress your body

Don't move and close your eyes

Imagine my tattoos touching your body

I'm standing here so keep looking at my body

Tonight, I wanna make your bed into an ocean

Automatically, your hand landed on your pussy, as you started playing with yourself, not surprised at all that Jay’s voice was enough to get you wet.

You moaned loudly, your other hand massaging your breasts rather roughly, imagining that Jay’s fingers caressed your body, touching every inch of you.

[Jay’s POV]

Completely exhausted, I punched the numbers on the keypad and watched the door spring open. Dragging my luggage inside, I was startled when I heard one of my songs playing.

I noticed the lights were turned off. Instead, candles dipped the place in a soft light, creating a sensual atmosphere.

I chuckled. I missed my girl and wanted to nail her to the bed. Judging by the setup, I guessed she was feeling the same way.

I was just about to call her name when I stopped dead in my tracks.

I was marveling at the sight in front of me, my mouth dropped open, my eyes glued on her.

There she was, laying naked on the couch playing with herself, while my song was playing on repeat.

Her eyes were closed and her head thrown back. I knew she didn’t hear me coming in, otherwise she would’ve panicked. Who knew a sexy vixen laid dormant inside her?

Debating whether I should make my presence known or slip past her to the bedroom, the choice was taken away from me when she suddenly opened her eyes, realizing she was no longer alone.

She stared at me in shock, her fingers still on her swollen pussy. I realized what was happening. She was close to climax. Throwing her head back again, she moaned loudly, making my dick twitch.

Covering herself with a blanket, she got up rather clumsily, I assumed because her legs were still wobbly, and walked towards the stereo. Turning the music off, she looked at me with her best poker face on.

“You’re late.”

I wanted to protest, say that I hadn’t given her a specific time window, therefore I couldn’t be late, but my throat was dried up.

“I made dinner. You can wash up while I reheat it.”

Am I being punk’d?

We had dinner in silence, when I finally put the fork down, sighing from all the pent up sexual frustration.

“Are you for real? We’re not going to talk about what happened earlier?”

“I thought we did! I told you you were late.”

A glint in her eyes, she yelped when I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder like a sac of potatoes, taking her to the bedroom.

“You know I’ve made a playlist full of songs like this. Buckle up honey, it’s going to be a long night!”

[ssj2hindudude]

what are the potaotes (1st and 2nd Gen) secret pleasure? U know something they enjoy doing that they can’t really admit to even their closest friend because it kinda embarrassing.

1st and 2nd Gens Secret Pleasures:

Aru: Home Depot tours (not exactly a secret, but more of a guilty pleasure) Maybe the secret is she'll hide after closing time so she can camp out in the store...Yeah, Aiden wasn't happy getting that phone call from jail when she was caught...

Mini: Skin care routine. She wanted a better way to keep her skin clean and Rudy taught her a bunch of spa tricks. But she hates being seen looking like a reject swamp thing, so she threatens him to secrecy.

Brynne: She likes baking desserts in the shape of cutesy characters (ex. Hello Kitty cupcakes), but knowing it would wreck her rep, she smashes them whenever someone walks by, pointing out some kind of flaw, and apologizes to it afterwards.

Nikita: Knitting...not much to say here besides that she'll knit your organs together if you find out and start laughing...

Sheela: She's kind of an open book, but she also is secretly into heavy metal. One moment she'll be playing classical or jazz and the second she's along, she and her tea partying stuffies will be vibing to KISS.

Kara: She reads BL Manga (not the 18+ ones of course, but it's still pretty embarrassing). Let's just say she needed a way to rebel against the Sleeper without him finding out.

Aiden: You know how Aru dances whenever he smoulders? Yeah, apparently he also likes to practice singing to her picture...Mohini knows and is just glad that's all he's doing...

Rudy: The future king of Naga-loka, as though he doesn't do enough to embarrass himself, still rewatches Doraemon. I'm not talking the new cleaner version either, I mean the older one that wouldn't be able to get near today's censors. It's not too bad, but Rudy still cringes at the idea of getting caught singing Doraemon no Uta

Hira: She's already easily embarrassed but she definitely draws the line at telling people about her Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon cards. She's got all of the rare ones and will definitely smoke you in a battle, but she can't because she's to embarrassed by it...

Abha: She actually likes to paint...but sucks at it...like a lot...to the point where she is more likely to burn what she paints before anyone can see it. But that doesn't stop her from doing it again and again. #ArtistStruggles

Priya: Did you know she listens to Bright Eyes and other soft Nightcore when she's upset? That's right, no you don't! Because if you do, she will find you, and she will murder you in the worst way possible!

Suru: Kinda early for him to be embarrassed by things, but I guess his worst thing is that he still has his old baby blanket. But he doesn't cuddle it, he actually nibbles on the corners for comfort. Yeah, if he wants to keep it up without being sent to more therapy, he's gonna be hiding it for a while...

Ghata: She actually likes to experiment with press on tattoos! One time she got two huge dragons just snaking down her arms. Of course, that was the day she randomly wore a long sleeve in July, so yeah she had to rush into the shower when her moms started getting suspicious.

Valerie: Sweets testing (as we know from before)

[curecrafted]

𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽 𝙳𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 ::

Hate to say it but sometimes I find myself agreeing with the horny side of the fandom when they lament the fact that Kai doesn't have cool intricate Yakuza tattoos because oh yeah the aesthetic rips but also can understand why he doesn't both because thats not really a thing for modern Yakuza and also it probably wouldn't be a stretch to imagine Kai's extreme mysophobia makes him less than enthused about being prodded with a needle for hours in a dingy establishment. But, do it for Pops, Kai. ( Then he would, lets go with that. ) We are nothing if not slaves to the aesthetic here.

ANYWAY, another note about him, I'm thinking about AUs / canon divergence and want I wanna do with him post Overhaul Arc beyond what canon did. We know Hori wasted him in an extreme way like make your eyes water type way that almost reduced his insane godmod quirk to a plot hole ━ UNLESS .... Though it is NEVER spoken or really expanded upon in canon, the reason the overhaul quirk could have been written off was because Kai was the only one who could use it. This isn't entirely out of the realms of canon possibility because we have seen there are several quirks that can't be copied or used outside of the bodies of their original owners. In fact, the only two people that seem to have been SMART ENOUGH in the entire MHA world to engineer a way for these type of quirks to work outside an owners body is Kai ( With Eri's rewind ) and Kyudai Garaki with the rest of his shit. Though this being said, it seems not even Garaki was able to successfully make a copy of Overhaul useful outside of the broken version of it Tomura apperently received. ( which is something I still don't think I'll be keeping as a fact in my canon because its one of those things that ended up kind of unnecessary. )

So we could also say that Kai's intelligence and scientific knowledge helped play a part in him being able to use his quirk so well. Without these things, his quirk is useless to everyone else. So yeah, I'm going to say BOTH things to make sense of why his quirk was so underutilized in canon, at least !! But that doesn't fix the armless problem and this is where the canon divergence I've been playing around with corfides comes in.

Pretty much the whole Nagant thing ended up useless. So we're going do some canon divergence and change the prison break situation for Kai. Instead, Kai is going to be found by Hari and Stain during the prison break and they're going to become a hilarious bumbling threesome of guys who have beef with the heroes AND the villains. Kai wont have gone with Nagant, she'll have gone and done all that on her own since his presence makes literally no difference either way. Kai ends up getting his arms back thanks to Hari and Stain. We've decided this would be as easy as reattaching one because canon has even stated Kai can use his quirk with someone else's hands. We're not going down the prosthetics route because its cliche to me, instead. Hari offers one of his arms to Kai. So we get to do a fun nod to monsterhaul here with Kai having his arms back but having them look distinctly inhuman. Cause this said.... Kai isn't his old self. Its not exactly clear what happened but Kai appears to have some type of brain damage from his fight. And I'm not one to erase disabilities. This is something thats not really explained in canon outside of an offhanded comment that he "has some screws loose." And other characters wondering what is wrong with him. The running theory is Kai lost it after the LoV cut his arms off but if you actually look back at canon Kai seems to be out of it BEFORE the LoV got to him. Which leads me to think maybe Kai's uh... Distant / scatted, near catatonic state of mind wasn't just brought on by "grief" (which I'll say def worsened it, as I'm also headcanoning he was told Hari was dead so thats on top of him knowing he wouldn't be able to heal pops thus him believing he'd completely lost everything ) but that Kai might have actually been suffering side effects from taking multiple 100% punches to the face from Deku's superpowered OFA and that this is actually whats "wrong" with him post Deku fight. Though we know he was rewound by Eri at least twice, the logic of her rewind seems inconsistent. For whatever reason Kai was rewound enough to undo his mergers with his minions but was apperently not rewound enough to heal his injuries ? Thats what we seem to be shown in canon as it doesn't really make sense for Kai to have lost otherwise, because though he would have been separated from his mergers, he wouldn't have been out of fighting condition but rather quiet the opposite. So we're just gonna go with Eri's rewind being inconstant at times, especially cause her power was very untrained at this point and her intentions weren't to heal Kai, but rather to stop him, so maybe it was a result of her unconscious wishes shining through that he wasn't healed but just stopped. SO YEAH. ANYWAY. Kai is suffering some type of brain damage. Which is going to effect his memory + other things and how proficient he is with using his quirk. He wont be able to use it as perfectly as he could before. But he can still use it. And he'll be practicing to try and get it at least good enough to fix pops. This leaves his situation with his arms on the Horror TM side of things because though he has his arms back, thanks to his use of his quirk being less effective, his attempts to restore his other arm haven't been entirely successful and his arms now have a distinctly inhuman appearance, looking more like his arms in his monsterhaul form.

This without the second set of arms on the back lol. We've also talked about Kai and Hari accompanying Stain in his fight against AFO in aide of All Might. Stain's doing it because he's gay for All Might, but Hari and Kai ? They see an opportunity to get in societies good graces and also fuck the League of villains / AFO. So they help with the fight. The outcome is however roughly the same with Stain getting "killed" by AFO but in THIS canon divergence, Kai is able to use overhaul to restore Stain from death. This is a big success moment for him, showing he can indeed heal pops.

This results in Kai, Hari and Stain being offered a type of "pardon" at the end of the war along with other villains / criminals who helped out like Gentle, La Brava and Nagant, though Stain is quirkless. This gives the heroes the opportunity to have Kai use his quirk to do a bit of good for everyone, like not just healing pops and getting chewed out by him, but also help heal some of the more severely injured during the war.

[umbreerie]

𝔒𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔞𝔲𝔩 ; more thoughts + canon divergence ideas.

Hate to say it but sometimes I find myself agreeing with the horny side of the fandom when they lament the fact that Kai doesn't have cool intricate Yakuza tattoos because oh yeah the aesthetic rips but also can understand why he doesn't both because thats not really a thing for modern Yakuza and also it probably wouldn't be a stretch to imagine Kai's extreme mysophobia makes him less than enthused about being prodded with a needle for hours in a dingy establishment. But, do it for Pops, Kai. ( Then he would, lets go with that. ) We are nothing if not slaves to the aesthetic here.

ANYWAY, another note about him, I'm thinking about AUs / canon divergence and want I wanna do with him post Overhaul Arc beyond what canon did. We know Hori wasted him in an extreme way like make your eyes water type way that almost reduced his insane godmod quirk to a plot hole ━ UNLESS .... Though it is NEVER spoken or really expanded upon in canon, the reason the overhaul quirk could have been written off was because Kai was the only one who could use it. This isn't entirely out of the realms of canon possibility because we have seen there are several quirks that can't be copied or used outside of the bodies of their original owners. In fact, the only two people that seem to have been SMART ENOUGH in the entire MHA world to engineer a way for these type of quirks to work outside an owners body is Kai ( With Eri's rewind ) and Kyudai Garaki with the rest of his shit. Though this being said, it seems not even Garaki was able to successfully make a copy of Overhaul useful outside of the broken version of it Tomura apperently received. ( which is something I still don't think I'll be keeping as a fact in my canon because its one of those things that ended up kind of unnecessary. )

So we could also say that Kai's intelligence and scientific knowledge helped play a part in him being able to use his quirk so well. Without these things, his quirk is useless to everyone else. So yeah, I'm going to say BOTH things to make sense of why his quirk was so underutilized in canon, at least !! But that doesn't fix the armless problem and this is where the canon divergence I've been playing around with @corfides comes in.

Pretty much the whole Nagant thing ended up useless. So we're going do some canon divergence and change the prison break situation for Kai. Instead, Kai is going to be found by Hari and Stain during the prison break and they're going to become a hilarious bumbling threesome of guys who have beef with the heroes AND the villains. Kai wont have gone with Nagant, she'll have gone and done all that on her own since his presence makes literally no difference either way. Kai ends up getting his arms back thanks to Hari and Stain. We've decided this would be as easy as reattaching one because canon has even stated Kai can use his quirk with someone else's hands. We're not going down the prosthetics route because its cliche to me, instead. Hari offers one of his arms to Kai. So we get to do a fun nod to monsterhaul here with Kai having his arms back but having them look distinctly inhuman. Cause this said.... Kai isn't his old self. Its not exactly clear what happened but Kai appears to have some type of brain damage from his fight. And I'm not one to erase disabilities. This is something thats not really explained in canon outside of an offhanded comment that he "has some screws loose." And other characters wondering what is wrong with him. The running theory is Kai lost it after the LoV cut his arms off but if you actually look back at canon Kai seems to be out of it BEFORE the LoV got to him. Which leads me to think maybe Kai's uh... Distant / scatted, near catatonic state of mind wasn't just brought on by "grief" (which I'll say def worsened it, as I'm also headcanoning he was told Hari was dead so thats on top of him knowing he wouldn't be able to heal pops thus him believing he'd completely lost everything ) but that Kai might have actually been suffering side effects from taking multiple 100% punches to the face from Deku's superpowered OFA and that this is actually whats "wrong" with him post Deku fight. Though we know he was rewound by Eri at least twice, the logic of her rewind seems inconsistent. For whatever reason Kai was rewound enough to undo his mergers with his minions but was apperently not rewound enough to heal his injuries ? Thats what we seem to be shown in canon as it doesn't really make sense for Kai to have lost otherwise, because though he would have been separated from his mergers, he wouldn't have been out of fighting condition but rather quiet the opposite. So we're just gonna go with Eri's rewind being inconstant at times, especially cause her power was very untrained at this point and her intentions weren't to heal Kai, but rather to stop him, so maybe it was a result of her unconscious wishes shining through that he wasn't healed but just stopped. SO YEAH. ANYWAY. Kai is suffering some type of brain damage. Which is going to effect his memory + other things and how proficient he is with using his quirk. He wont be able to use it as perfectly as he could before. But he can still use it. And he'll be practicing to try and get it at least good enough to fix pops. This leaves his situation with his arms on the Horror TM side of things because though he has his arms back, thanks to his use of his quirk being less effective, his attempts to restore his other arm haven't been entirely successful and his arms now have a distinctly inhuman appearance, looking more like his arms in his monsterhaul form.

This without the second set of arms on the back lol. We've also talked about Kai and Hari accompanying Stain in his fight against AFO in aide of All Might. Stain's doing it because he's gay for All Might, but Hari and Kai ? They see an opportunity to get in societies good graces and also fuck the League of villains / AFO. So they help with the fight. The outcome is however roughly the same with Stain getting "killed" by AFO but in THIS canon divergence, Kai is able to use overhaul to restore Stain from death. This is a big success moment for him, showing he can indeed heal pops.

This results in Kai, Hari and Stain being offered a type of "pardon" at the end of the war along with other villains / criminals who helped out like Gentle, La Brava and Nagant, though Stain is quirkless. This gives the heroes the opportunity to have Kai use his quirk to do a bit of good for everyone, like not just healing pops and getting chewed out by him, but also help heal some of the more severely injured during the war.

[11919815125]

3/27/24

in regards to the phone call about the future/my ambitions

i think the reason it strikes a nerve when you bring stuff like that up is because like. my entire self-worth is built on choosing to accept my shortcomings rather than fight them or feel shame about them. when you're upset that i "don't care" it's because it was a choice that i had to make in order to cope and survive. when i was 24 years old, i was living with my parents, unemployed for almost a year and a half, no intent to use the degree that i went thousands of dollars into debt for, smoking weed every day, barely even leaving my bedroom, no goals or ambitions. i was a fucking loser. i couldn't look my parents in the eye because i saw disappointment looking back at me. i cut off almost all of my friends because i didn't want them to see me like that. the embarrassment of it all nearly drove me to suicide.

i had to decide that it was okay. that i didn't need to be successful in the ways other people define it, that i didn't need a career, that i didn't need to make my parents proud, that i didn't have to be special, that i didn't need people to like me, that i didn't have to achieve my dreams. i just needed to survive and try my best to be happy; anything beyond that is just a bonus.

it's not that the things you're asking me for are unfair, but they pop that bubble. they knock down the jenga tower i've stacked up so carefully. caring so much about those pressures and goals and ambitions genuinely ruined my life and almost ended it, and now you're asking me to make them a priority again, and suggesting that if i don't it's because i don't care enough about you or that i don't care about myself.

i feel that i am successful!!!!! with my worthless degree and my shitty kitchen job and everything i have going on now!!!!! this is not failure to me! i am so unbelievably proud of myself! i am paying my bills, living independently, working full time, doing my best to maintain the relationships i have, traveling when i can, cooking delicious meals and trying new foods, going out and making memories on the weekends, spending so many of my days with you. that's a life that's worth celebrating and i really hate that you seem to see it as the bare minimum. of course i can do better, i can invest more into the things that matter to me.......i just don't know if those are the things that matter to you.

saying that "a career is not a priority to me" is really the polite way of saying, "i do not want a career, and if i can find a way to keep living my life without having to do that, i absolutely will." you dedicate years of your life building marketable skills, going to school, interning, networking, busting your ass and stressing yourself out to get...what? your life looks exactly the same with a little more cash in the bank and a few more rooms in your apartment. it's so cliche but i really really don't care about the "rat race." i don't feel the impulse to keep up with other people, i don't value most of the things that you gain from playing the game, and i definitely don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about how i choose to live my life.

i value freedom, autonomy, authenticity, and honesty above anything else. i value working as little as possible while still being comfortable and happy, and maximizing the time that is mine and mine alone. i value the people that love and embrace me and being able to share this life with them. i value experiences over anything material; nice houses and fancy dinners and expensive clothes and flashy gifts mean absolutely nothing to me. i want to go bungee jumping, i want to see the northern lights, i want to visit every country in the world, i want to cover my body in tattoos and sleep under the stars and get married to somebody i love and learn to play guitar and create beautiful things with my bare hands and hope that one day i wake up and see my life as a beautiful thing too.

and you wanna ask me about a fuckin job lol