#like they did such a good job making that temple sequence feel like a clone wars scene

[martianbugsbunny]

You know those first five-ten minutes of Ahsoka really felt like Clone Wars bc at least three times I pointed at the screen at yelled "That's my girl!"

[siennahrobek]

Prompt

In a new attempt to turn Anakin Skywalker to the darkside, Chancellor Palpatine orchestrates the disappearances of heavily pregnant Padme Amidala and Master Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi. It backfired.

Nobody really won.

It had been ten years.

Knight Anakin Skywalker and Knight Ahsoka Tano were sent to a distress call far out in the outer rim, almost in wild space. Anakin didn’t mind the long journey. His former padawan was good company and sometimes, sometimes, it was nice to get away from the Temple for a while. Away from the sympathetic and pitying stares and lingering theories or rumors.

Things hadn’t been the same for many reasons.

Ten years ago, the two most important people in Anakin’s life disappeared, the man who raised him and his heavily pregnant wife. Eight years ago, they had found what was left of her body. Five years ago, the Order declared Master Kenobi one with the Force.

Anakin never truly stopped looking, but he was becoming dim in ability and stamina. It had been so long and there were no leads to follow. No trace or evidence of his old masters presence anyway. Nowadays, it was pretty much just research and keeping an eye out for anything that vaguely resembled him. He was trying to have the life Obi-Wan always wanted for him, balance and happiness. He tried to connect with others, with Jedi. He spent quite a bit of time mediating, walking the gardens, helping as many as he could throughout the galaxy. He was a good Jedi, he thought, at least on the outside. He was working on the inside. He had a jedi’s life.

It was all he had now. And he would do his best to make Obi-Wan proud.

But being happy, truly happy, Anakin wasn’t sure if he could truly achieve it anymore. Being balanced with that type of hole in your heart, it was difficult. He could accept loss better now; there was no stopping that sort of thing. When it was one’s time to leave the planes of this galaxy for the Force, it was something to rejoice. It was supposed to be home. It wasn’t so easy when there were no answers.

Ahsoka had been knighted several years earlier and Anakin could not have been more proud. Her friends had been there, had congratulated her and she was happy, he had to believe that. But even she missed the presence of another who should have been there. Obi-Wan would have wanted to be there, to witness such a great occasion. They did their best and afterwards, they had a good time, were happy with the rank that came with her knighthood. It wasn’t that either of them were mourning during the time. It was just, they could feel the missing piece. It has been a few years but lately, they had found themselves partnered up quite frequently for missions. He hoped Ahsoka didn’t mind too much but there was never going to be an easy way out of this. Around it. Because this was the type of thing he and Obi-Wan did. They were the Team. They did everything together, even after knighthood.

The Council was trying, he gave them that.

He didn’t know if it really helped, though. It was nice, though, that they cared. They kept an eye on him. Years before, he would have read that as they didn’t trust him. It took him a very, very long time to realize that wasn’t always the case. And partnering him up with someone he was close to, someone he trusted above most else, it was some way of caring. He still struggled with those thoughts, even years later, but he was easier now.

The mystery however, was not any easier. There was an abysmal void where his loved ones should have been. A tear in his heart from the mystery. The lack of answers. He still found himself grieving for Padme but it was easier now. Although no one was entirely sure exactly what had happened to her, at least they had found a body, they had a storyline about what had happened and how it happened. It wasn’t sometime Anakin liked to think about particularly, but it was easier to grieve knowing. She was gone and eventually, he had accepted that. Let go, so to speak. She was with the Force and Anakin could feel her in some of the things he did, some of the objects and people and actions he witnessed and saw. There was grief, but there was also knowing.

The same could not be said for Obi-Wan.

No one knew what happened to him. There were no clues, no evidence. He had disappeared one day, alongside Padme and no one ever could figure out how it happened or why or anything. Although they had found a body for her, they never did for him. Not even a glimmer of anything.

Some darker rumors, cynical beings, spread that he had abandoned the Order. That the war had made him go mad. That he had kidnapped the senator or worse, was the one who slaughtered her. Anakin had quickly put a stop to it. Everyone had felt it the moment he knew about these ideas and theories, diminishing and tarnishing Obi-Wan’s name that was atrocious. He was not the only one who felt this way, but he was the strongest and most determined and the most furious…

No one said anything now.

No one dared.

The Jedi kept him in high honors. He was mentioned in classes, with his thoughts and theories on the Force, his research on all the things he loved to learn; animals, plants, cultures, languages. His strategies from the war were taught. His negotiation fame was spread; everyone knew the stories of the Negotiator. He wasn’t just a war hero. He was a Jedi, and a great one at that. His faith in the Order, his faith in people, his faith in the Force, was incredible and Anakin hadn’t really come to realize how that was until years after.

Obi-Wan loved in such a way that Anakin hadn’t understood since he was a child. He wished that he could talk with him one more time, just to show his old master that he was right, that Anakin was okay. That Anakin knew how much Obi-Wan Kenobi loved him.

That Anakin was doing his very best to be the Jedi and person he knew he could be.

The clones continued to think of him; believe the best in their General Kenobi. They always had liked him. He was a high general, one that appreciated and valued their input and their lives. He was their finder, all the cadets – former and current – had been told the stories about how he found them like a true Jedi searcher. Even if it was by accident, it had jumpstarted their journey into being free. He had worked to help and protect them alongside other council members and the few politicians who saw them more as canon fodder. It amazed Anakin how long and intense the memories of the former soldiers were because he was still brought up.

Cody and a lot of the 212th had taken it hard; harder that most of the rest of the military. He was their direct general, someone they followed personally up until the very end of the war. Some of them had been friends, even. They had helped Anakin search for a long time, but it was getting harder for them. They had jobs now, they had to start lives, be citizens. Things were expected of them, like for some reason, they had to catch up to the rest of the citizens. It was a struggle and a fight but luckily, they did have allies for assistance.

Many clones got adopted into or employed at the Temple. There weren’t many force-sensitive ones, none enough that they would have made an actual Jedi knight, but the Order was loyal to them as they had been to the Jedi. Many troopers filled in other roles, of teachers, sparring partners, cooks, guards, and researchers. Waxer and Boil had made it from being aides to a creche master to being crèche masters themselves, with leading their own clan of initiates.

Obi-Wan would have loved that.

“Coming up to origin of signal,” Ahsoka announced from the pilot’s seat, flipping a few switches as she began the sequence for landing and attachment. In the middle of nowhere, Anakin noted. There wasn’t a planet near here, in sight or on the scanners. He wondered how they even got out here. Hopefully this wasn’t a mortis situation all over again. He did not want to deal with something like that again. The ship in front of them was small and broken down, floating aimlessly in the abyss of space.

He doubted anyone survived.

“You never know, master,” Ahsoka tried to keep herself upbeat as she shot him a grin, sharp teeth showing unabashedly. “Perhaps we will be pleasantly surprised,” she suggested with a bit of a shrug. The ship had made a thud as it hit the abandoned one and the latches untangled themselves to strike into the hull of the ship.

Oh. He had said that out loud. Oops.

“Latch engaged,” she added and turned to smile at him, tentatively once again. “Come on master. Let’s see what adventure awaits us.”

“I’m no longer your master, Ahsoka,” he reminded her, idly.

She shrugged once more. “Right,” she replied with a small smirk, her voice laced with sarcasm. It was practically oozing out of her. She remained him of his former master sometimes, with her humor and quick wit. With a mischievous side eye, she continued, slyly. “Let’s go, master.”

Anakin rolled his eyes and followed her out, making their way through their ship’s hatch and towards the abandoned one. He still didn’t think that anyone survived but this was their duty. And the calm silence of their journey and the nature of the mission was a bit of a relief from the fast-paced ones that he was normally sent on. Usually, it was a good way to keep his mind off of everything else. This was a nice reprieve.

As the two of them got into the derelict ship, Anakin started talking and he had absolutely no idea where it came from. It was like his mouth had started moving and his brain had not given it permission. “I’m sorry, Ahsoka.”

She glanced at him, curiously. “What for?”

He couldn’t quite meet her eyes, as they waved a flashlight around, searching the cockpit for life or anything else that could give them an idea into what had happened and who may have been there. “I know I haven’t really been…the same since…”

“Since Padme and Master Obi-Wan disappeared,” she supplied with a frown. It had been ten years since it happened and several years since she had been knighted and she still remembered. It was almost always the reason.

He nodded and swallowed heavily. “I…I got through Padme, to some extent at least. I knew what happened to her. But Obi-Wan…I still wonder.”

“Wonder…?”

“What happened. I know everyone says he wouldn’t leave me, not like that but…” he drifted off, looking down, his light flickering towards the floor, near useless. “I was a pretty terrible person around the time he disappeared, unbalanced and in a bad place. Listening to the wrong people, making terrible choices,” Anakin shuddered at the thought of what Palpatine nearly got him to do in his desperation and fury. It had been a dreadful time and everyone else had nearly paid the price for his mistakes, for his foolishness. Ten thousand Jedi, millions of the clones, all the people in the galaxy. He feared now what would have happened if he had not been pulled from the edge, if he had made that leap into the dark side, into the fear and anger and hate. “Perhaps…. maybe it was just too much for even the great and infinitely patient Master Kenobi.”

Ahsoka scoffed good-naturedly as she rolled her eyes, finding the sliver of humor to work through. “One, Master Obi-Wan was not infinitely patient,” she pointed out, glancing at him pointedly. She wasn’t completely wrong. Obi-Wan had a lot of patience but even he had his limits, generally with those he didn’t care for. His patience with Anakin though, that was legendary. Not that he would ever really admit that. “And two, they are right. He would never leave you out of choice. I mean come on. Master Obi-Wan.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right,” he replied half-heartedly and tried shooting her a smile. It wasn’t very convincing, but it was all he had at the moment. After a suggestion of splitting up, the two of them went to opposite ends of the ship, Anakin towards the living quarters and Ahsoka towards the cargo bay. Perhaps Anakin could find some clues with the former inhabitant’s belongings or Ahsoka with whatever they were travelling with.

It was a bust. There was very little there, aside from some blankets. Anakin imagined there were a couple of people stuffed within the quarters, perhaps a man and a child or two, with the toys he found. There were some handmade wooden carved ship toys laying on the bed and Anakin picked one up. It was a Jedi star fighter, he realized. It wasn’t the most amazing rendition of the ship, but he was probably a little bias, considering he had not only flown one of these during the war, he still had one.

What was really interesting about it was the feelings imbued with it. The signature felt familiar, like he should know it, but it was weak. Whoever made this toy was filled with so much love, for the recipient, for those in general, that he cascaded off the toy in waves.

He wondered if the former inhabitant had been force sensitive. It might explain the feelings in the ship and the toys, especially.

“I don’t see anything!” Ahsoka shouted from the opposite end of the ship. He could hear her just fine, even though she was on the other end, but Anakin was still a bit entranced with the toy and the feelings coming off of it. “You?”

There was a brief silence and a clatter. Not big enough to be her body but it had sounded like she had dropped her flashlight.

Anakin glanced back towards where she had headed. He couldn’t see her but it was more instinctive than anything. “Ahsoka?”

Silence.

“Ahsoka?! Answer me?” Anakin started to panic, his heart beating faster and faster as he moved towards the door, calling her name.

She sounded scared and small, like back in the early days of the war and casualties were high. When she was worried about those she cared about, troopers, jedi, citizens. She sounded like she was in tears. Anakin couldn’t really remember a specific time where had sounded so fearful, so worried, so sad. Not in a way that was as blatant as this. “Skyguy?” Her voice called out. That was a name he hadn’t heard in a while. “You…you have to come see this.”

Anakin raced across the ship, panicked, and leaping over crates and objects. She didn’t make it sound like she was in danger, and she didn’t appear to be, but he didn’t stop until he was right next to Ahsoka. He had nearly crashed into it. She was standing in front of a large gray slab, some kind of relief sculpture of some kind. At least, that was what it looked like, although he hadn’t gotten a very good look at it. His attention was on Ahsoka. But he could tell what it was made out of. He had never seen such a large slab of carbonite before.

“What is it?”

She was crying, he could see a multitude of silent tears. They were running down her face in a cascade and although he couldn’t hear them, he could almost hear her sobs in the Force. But she just pointed up and Anakin followed her hand and gaze.

The face was distorted, like it had been looking down when the carbonite had been applied. The slab was huge and only made bigger by the cloak the figure wore. It was sweeping and wide, like he was trying to cover, hide or protect large objects underneath. Possibly, he was. But even with the odd, defensive pose and the face not looking straight on, even after ten years, Anakin knew that face.

He always knew that face.

Frozen in carbonite.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

[ariainstars]

Thank You, Disney Lucasfilm… For Destroying My Dreams

Warning: longer post.

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So… I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ a few weeks ago. Again.

Sigh.

I guess it has its good sides. But professional critics tend to dislike it and even the general audience doesn’t go crazy for it. I wonder why?

  The Fantasy

When his saga became a groundbreaking pop phenomenon in the 1970es, George Lucas reportedly said that he wanted to tell fairy tales again in world that no longer seemed to offer young people a chance to grow up with them. The fact that his saga was met with such unabashed, international enthusiasm proves that he was right: people long for fairy tales no matter how old they are and what culture they belong to.

“Young people today don’t have a fantasy life anymore, not the way we did… All they’ve got is Kojak and Dirty Harry. All the films they see are movies of disasters and insecurity and realistic violence.” (George Lucas)

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for more than thirty years. I love the Original Trilogy but honestly it did not make me dream much, perhaps because when I saw it the trilogy was already complete. The Prequel Trilogy also did not inspire my fantasy.

The Last Jedi accomplished something that no TV show, book or film had managed in years: it made me dream. The richness of colorful characters, multifaceted themes, unexpected developments, intriguing relationships was something I had not come across in a long time: it fascinated me. I felt like a giddy teenager reading up meta’s, writing my own and imagining all sorts of beautiful endings for the saga for almost two years.

So if there’s something The Rise of Skywalker can pride itself on for me, it’s that it crushed almost every dream I had about it. The few things I had figured out – Rey’s fall to the Dark, Ben Solo’s redemption, the connection between them - did not even make me happy because they were tainted by the flatness of the storytelling reducing the Force to a superpower again (like the general audience seems to believe it is), and its deliberate ignoring of almost all messages of The Last Jedi.

Many fans of the Original Trilogy also were disillusioned by the saga over the decades and ranted at the studios for “destroying their childhood”. Now we, the fans of the sequels and in particular of The Last Jedi, are in the same situation… but the thought doesn’t make the pill much easier to swallow. What grates on my nerves is the feeling that someone trampled on my just newly found dreams like a naughty child kicking a doll’s house apart. Why give us something to dream of in the first place, then? To a certain extent I can understand that many fans would angrily assume that Disney Lucasfilm made the Sequel Trilogy for the purpose of destroying their idea of the saga. The point is that they had their happy ending, while every dream the fans of the Sequel Trilogy may have had was shattered with this unexpectedly flat and hollow final note.

I know many fans who dislike the Prequel Trilogy heartily. I also prefer the Original Trilogy, but I find the prequels all right in their own way, also since I gave them some thought. However, it can’t be denied that they lack the magic spark which made the Original Trilogy so special. Which makes sense since they are not a fairy tale but ultimately a tragedy, but in my opinion it’s the one of the main reasons why the Prequel Trilogy never was quite so successful, or so beloved.

Same goes for Rogue One, Solo, or Clone Wars. They’re ok in their way, but not magical.

The sequel trilogy started quite satisfyingly with The Force Awakens, but for me, the actual bomb dropped with The Last Jedi. Reason? It was a magical story. It had the spark again that I had missed in the new Star Wars stories for decades! And it was packed full of beautiful messages and promises.

The Force is not a superpower belonging solely to the Jedi Anyone can be a hero. Even the greatest heroes can fail, but they will still be heroes. Hope is like the sun: if you only believe in it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night. Failure is the greatest teacher. It’s more important to save the light than to seem a hero. No one is never truly gone. War is only a machine. Dark Side and Light Side can be unbeatable if they are allies. Save what you love instead of destroying what you hate.

Naively, I assumed the trilogy would continue and end in that same magical way. And then came The Rise of Skywalker… which looks and feels like a Marvel superhero story at best and an over-long videogame at worst.

Chekov’s Gun

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

(Anton Chekov, 1860 - 1904)

If you show an important looking prop and don’t put it to use, it leaves the audience feeling baffled. There is a huge difference between a story’s setup, and the audience’s feeling of entitlement. E.g. many viewers expected Luke to jump right back into the fray in Episode VIII, because that’s what a hero does, isn’t it? The cavalry comes and saves the day. And instead, we met a disillusioned elderly hermit who is tired of the ways of the Jedi. But there was no actual reason for disappointment: in Episode VII it was very clearly said (through Han, his best friend) that Luke had gone into exile on purpose, feeling responsible for his failure in teaching a new generation of Jedi. It would have been more than stupid to show him as an all-powerful and all-knowing man who kills the bad guys. Sorry but who expected that was a victim to his own prejudice.

A promise left unfulfilled is a different story. The Last Jedi set up a lot of promises that didn’t come true in The Rise of Skywalker: Balance as announced by the Jedi temple mosaic, a new Jedi Order hinted at by Luke on Crait, a good ending for Ben and Rey set up by the hand-touching scene which was opposite to Anakin’s and Padmés wedding scene. Many fans were annoyed about the Canto Bight sequence. I liked it because it felt like the set-up for a lot of important stuff: partnership between Finn and Rose whom we see working together excellently, freedom for the enslaved children (one of whom is Force-sensitive), DJ and Rose expressing what makes wars in general foolish and beside the point. So if we, the fans of Episode VIII, now feel angry and let down, I daresay it’s not due to entitlement. We were announced magical outcomes and not just pew-pew.

The Star Wars saga never repeated itself but always developed and enlarged its themes, so it was to be expected that delving deeper, uncomfortable truths would come out: wars don’t start out of nowhere, and they don’t flare up and continue for decades for the same reason. In order to find Balance, the Jedi’s and the Skywalker family’s myths needed to be dismantled. Which is not necessarily bad as long it is explained how things came to this, and a better alternative is offered. The prequels explained the old political order and the beginnings of the Skywalker family, and announced that the next generation would do better. The sequels hardly explained anything about the 30 years that passed since our heroes won the battle against the Empire, and while The Last Jedi hinted at the future a lot, The Rise of Skywalker seemed to make a point of ignoring all of it.

  The Skywalker Family Is Obliterated. Why?

Luke was proven right that his nephew would mean the end of everything he loved. The lineage of the Chosen One is gone. His grandson had begun where Vader had ended - tormented, pale and with sad eyes - and he met the same fate. Luke, Han, Leia, all sacrificed themselves to bring Ben Solo back for nothing. Him being the reincarnation of the Chosen One and getting a new chance should have been meaningful for all of them; instead, he literally left the scepter to Rey who did nothing to deserve it: merely because she killed the Bad Guy does not mean she will do a better job than the family whose name and legacy she proudly takes over.

I do hope there was a good reason if the sequels did not tell “The New Adventures of Luke, Leia and Han” and instead showed us a broken family on the eve of its wipeout. It would have been much easier, and more fun for the audience, to bring the trio back again after a few years and pick up where they had left. Instead we had to watch their son, nephew and heir go his grandfather’s way - born with huge power, branded as Meant to Be Dangerous from the start, tried his best to be a Jedi although he wanted to be a pilot, never felt accepted, abandoned in the moment of his greatest need, went to his abuser because he was the only one to turn to, became a criminal, his own family (in Anakin’s case: Obi-Wan and Yoda) trained the person who was closest to him to kill him, sacrificed himself for this person and died. And in his case, it’s particularly frustrating because Kylo Ren wasn’t half as impressive a villain as Vader, and Ben Solo had a very limited time of heroism and personal fulfilment, contrarily to Anakin when he was young.

The impact of The Rise of Skywalker was traumatic for some viewers. I know of adolescents and adults, victims of family abandonment and abuse, who identified with Ben: they were told that you can never be more than the sum of your abuse and abandonment, and that they’re replaceable if they’re not “good”. Children identifying with Rey were told that their parents might sell them away for “protection”. Rey was not conflicted, she had a few doubts but overall, she was cool about everything she did, so she got everything on a silver platter; that’s why as a viewer, after a while you stopped caring for her. Her antagonist was doomed from birth because he dared to question the choices other people made for him. It seems that in the Star Wars universe, you can only “rise” if you’re either a criminal but cool because you’ve always got a bucket over your head (Vader / the Mandalorian) or are a saint-like figure (Luke / Rey).

One of Obi-Wan’s first actions in A New Hope is cutting off someone’s arm who was only annoying him; Han Solo, ditto. These were no acts of self-defense. The Mandalorian is an outlaw. Yet they are highly popular. Why? Because they always keep their cool, so anything they do seems justified. Young Anakin was hated, Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen attacked for his portrayal. For the same reason many fans feel that Luke is the least important of the original trio although basically the Original Trilogy is his story: it seems the general audience hates nothing more than emotionality in a guy. They want James Bond, Batman or Indiana Jones as the lead. Padmé loved Anakin because she always saw the good little boy he once was in him; his attempts at impressing her with his flirting or his masculinity failed. Kylo tried to impress Rey with his knowledge and power, but she fled from him - she wanted the gentle, emphatic young man who had listened to her when she felt alone. Good message. But both died miserably, and Ben didn’t even get anything but a kiss. Realizing that his “not being as strong as Darth Vader” might actually be a strength of its own would have meant much more.

The heroes of the Original Trilogy had their adventures together and their happy ending; the heroes of the Prequel Trilogy also had good times and accomplishments in their youth, before everything went awry. Rey, Finn and Poe feel like their friendship hardly got started; Rose was almost obliterated from the narrative; and Ben Solo seems to have had only one happy moment in his entire life. Of course it’s terrible that he committed patricide (even if it was under coercion), but Anakin / Vader himself had two happy endings in the Prequel Trilogy before he became the monster we know so well. Not to mention Clone Wars, where he has heroic moments unnumbered.

The Skywalker family is obliterated without Balance in the Force, and the young woman who inherited all doesn’t seem to have learned any lesson from all this. The Original Trilogy became a part of pop culture among other things because its ending was satisfying. We can hardly be expected to be satisfied with an ending where our heroes are all dead and the heir of their worst enemy takes over. What good was the happy ending of the Original Trilogy for if they didn’t learn enough from their misadventures to learn how to protect one single person - their son and nephew, their future?

For a long time, I also thought that the saga was about Good vs. Evil. Watching the prequels again, I came to the conclusion that it is rather about Love vs. War. And now, considering as a whole, I believe it to be essentially Jedi against Skywalker. The ending, as it is now, says that both fractions lost: they annihilated one another, leaving a third party in charge, who believes to be both but actually knows very little about them.

Star Wars and Morality

After 9 films and 42 years, it still is not possible to make the general audience accept that it is wrong to divide people between Good and Evil in the first place. The massive rejection of both prequels and sequels, which have moral grey zones galore, shows it.

It is also not possible without being accused of actual blasphemy in the same fandom, to say the plain truth that no Skywalker ever was a Jedi at heart. As their name says, they’re pilots. Luke was the last and strongest of all Jedi because he always was first and foremost himself. Anakin was crushed by the Jedi’s attempts to stifle his feelings. His grandson, too. A Force-sensitive person ought to have the choice whether they want to be a Jedi or not; they ought not to be taught to suppress their emotions and live only on duty, without really caring for other people; and they ought to grow up feeling in a safe and loving environment, not torn away from their families in infancy, indoctrinated and provided with a light sabre (a deadly weapon) while they’re still small. A Jedi order composed of child soldiers or know-it-all’s does not really help anybody.

The original Star Wars saga was about love and friendship; although many viewers did not want to understand that message. The prequels portrayed the Jedi as detached and arrogant and Anakin Skywalker sympathetically, a huge disappointment for who only accepts stories of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. The Last Jedi was so hated that The Rise of Skywalker backpedaled: sorry, of course you’re right, here you have your “hero who knows everything better and fixes everything for you on a silver platter”. The embarrassing antihero, who saves the girl who was the only person showing him some human compassion, can die miserably in the process and is not even mourned.

Honestly: I was doubtful whether it would be adequate to give Ben Solo a happy ending after the patricide. I guess letting him die was the easiest way out for the authors to escape censorship. (I even wrote this in a review on amazon about The Last Jedi, before I delved deeper into the saga’s themes.) The messages we got now are even worse.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

A parent can replace a child if they’re not the way they expect them to be. A victim of lifelong psychical and physical abuse can only find escape in death, whether he damns or redeems himself. An introspective, sensitive young man is a loser no matter how hard he tries either way. A whole family can sacrifice itself to save their heir, he dies anyway.

Rey

Self-righteousness is acceptable as long as you find a scapegoat for your own failings. Overconfidence justifies anything you do. You can’t carve your way as a female child of “nobodies”, you have to descend from someone male and powerful even if that someone is the devil incarnate. You are a “strong female” if you choose to be lonely; you need neither a partner nor friends.

In General

Star Wars is not about individual choices, loyalty, friendship and love, it is a classic Western story with a lonesome cowboy (in this case: cowgirl) at its centre. Satisfied? 

The father-son-relationship between Vader and Luke mirrors the Biblical story of Cain and Abel, saying that whoever we may want to kill is, in truth, our kin, which makes a clear separation in Good and Evil impossible. The “I am your father” scene is so infamous by now that even non-fans are aware of it; but this relationship between evil guy and good guy, as well as the plot turns where the villain saves the hero and that the hero discards his weapon are looked upon rather as weird narrative quirks instead of a moral. 

In  an action movie fan, things are simple: good guy vs. bad guy, the good guy (e.g. James Bond may be a murderer and a misogynist, but that’s ok because he’s cool about it) kills the bad guy, ka-boom, end of story. But Star Wars is a parable, an ambitious project told over decades of cinema, and a multilayered story with recurring themes.

A fairy tale ought to have a moral. The moral of both Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy was compassionate love - choose it and you can end a raging conflict, reject it and you will cause it. What was the moral of the Sequel Trilogy? You can be the offspring of the galaxy’s worst terror and display a similar attitude, but pose as a Jedi and kill unnecessarily, and it’s all right; descend from Darth Vader (who himself was a victim long before he became a culprit) and whether you try to become a Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker or a Sith trained by his worst enemy, you will end badly?

Both original and prequel trilogy often showed “good” people making bad choices and the “bad ones” making the right choices. To ensure lasting peace, no Force user ought to be believe that he must choose one side and then stick to it for the rest of his life: both sides need one another. The prequels took 3 films to convey this message, though not saying so openly. The Last Jedi said it out clearly - and the authors almost had their heads ripped off by affronted fans, resulting in The Rise of Skywalker’s fan service. It’s not like Luke, Han and Leia were less heroic in the Sequel Trilogy, on the contrary, they gave everything they had to their respective cause. They were not united, and they were more human than they had once been. Apparently, that’s an affront.

The Jedi are no perfect heroes and know-it-all’s and they never were, the facts are there for everyone to see. Padmé went alone and pregnant to get her husband out of Mustafar - and she almost succeeded - although she knew what he had done and that he was perfectly capable of it (he had told her of the Tusken village massacre himself) because she still saw the good little boy he had been in him; Obi-Wan left him amputated and burning in the lava, although he had raised Anakin like a small brother and the latter had repeatedly saved his life. But Padmé was not a Jedi, so I guess she still had some human decency. Neither Obi-Wan nor Yoda lifted a finger for the oppressed populations of the galaxy during the Empire, waiting instead for Anakin’s son to grow up so they could trick him into committing patricide. Neither Luke nor Leia did anything for their own son and nephew while he became the scourge of the galaxy, damning his soul by committing crime after crime. On Exegol, Rey heard the voices of all Jedi encouraging her to fight Palpatine to death. After that, they left her to die alone, and the alleged “bad guy”, who had already saved her soul from giving in to Palpatine’s lures, had to save her life by giving her his own. The Jedi merely know that “their side” has to win, no matter the cost for anyone’s life, sanity, integrity or happiness.

Excuse me, these are simple facts. How anyone can still believe that the Jedi were super-powerful heroes who always win or all-knowing wizards who are always right is beyond me. Luke, the last and strongest of them, like a bright flickering of light before the ultimate end, showed us that the best of men can fail. There is nothing wrong with that in itself. But it is wrong and utterly frustrating when all of the failure never leads to anything better. If Rey means to rebuild the Jedi order to something better than it was, there was no hint at that whatsoever.

  And What Now?

The Last Jedi hit theatres only 2 years before The Rise of Skywalker, and I can’t imagine that the responsible authors all have forgotten how to make competent work in the meantime; more so considering that Solo or The Mandalorian are solid work. Episode IX is thematically so painfully flat it seems like they wanted us to give up on the saga on purpose. The last instalment of a 42-year-old saga ought to have been the best and most meaningful. I had heard already decades ago that the saga was supposed to have 9 chapters, so I was not among who protested against the sequels thinking that they had been thought up to make what had come before invalid. I naively assumed a larger purpose. But Episode IX only seems to prove these critics perfectly right.

The last of the flesh and blood of the Chosen One is dead without having “finished what his grandfather started”?

Still no Balance in the Force?

And worst of all, Palpatine’s granddaughter taking over, having proven repeatedly that she is not suited for the task?

Sorry, this “ending” is absurd. I have read fanfiction that was better written and more interesting. And, most of all, less depressing. I was counting on a conclusion that showed that the Force has all colours and nuances, and that it’s not limited to the black-and-white view “we against them”. That’s the ending all of us fans would have deserved, instead of catering the daddy issues of the part of the audience who doesn’t want stories other than those of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. I myself grew up on Japanese anime, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I can’t stand guys like James Bond or Batman and why I think you don’t need “a great hero who fixes the situation” but that group spirit and communication are way more important.

It was absolutely unexpected that Disney, the production company whose trademark are happy endings and family stories, would end this beloved and successful saga after almost half a century on such a hollow note. Why tell first a beautiful fairy tale and then leave the audience on a hook for 35 years to continue first with a tragedy (which at least was expected) and then with another (unexpected one)? And this story is supposed to be for children? Like children would understand all of the subtext, and love sad, cautionary tales. Children, as well as the general audience, first of all want to be entertained! No one wants to watch the legendary Skywalker family be obliterated and a Palpatine take over. The sequels were no fun anymore; we’ve been left with another open ending and hardly an explanation about what happened in the 30 years in between. If you want to tell a cautionary tale, you should better warn the general audience beforehand.

The Original Trilogy is so good because it’s entertaining and offers room for thought for who wants to think about its deeper themes, and also leaves enough space for dreams. Same goes for the first two films of the Sequel Trilogy; but precisely the last, which should have wrapped up the saga, leaves us with a bitter aftertaste and dozens of questions marks. 

We as the audience believe that a story, despite the tragic things that happen, must go somewhere; we get invested into the characters, we root for them, we want to see them happy in the end. (The authors of series like Girls, How I Met Your Mother or Game of Thrones ought to be reminded of that, too.) I was in contact with children and teenagers saying that the Sequel Trilogy are “boring”; and many, children or adults, who were devastated by its concluson. There is a difference between wanting to tell a cautionary tale and playing the audience for fools. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. Who watches a family or fantasy story or a romantic / comedic sitcom wants to escape into another world, not to be hit over his head with a mirror to his own failings, and the ones of the society he’s living in. Messages are all right, but they ought not to go at the cost of the audience’s satisfaction about the about the people and narrative threads they have invested in for years.

This isn’t a family story: but children probably didn’t pester the studios with angry e-mails and twitter messages etc. They simply counted on a redemption arc and happy ending, and they were right, because they’re not as stupid as adults are. I have read and watched many a comment from fans who hate The Last Jedi. Many of these fans couldn’t even pinpoint what their rage was all about, they only proved to be stuck with the original trilogy and unwilling to widen their horizon. But at least their heroes had had their happy ending: The Rise of Skywalker obliterated the successes of all three generations of Skywalkers.

If the film studios wanted to tease us, they’ve excelled. If they expect the general audience to break their heads over the sequels’ metaphysics, they have not learned from the reactions to the prequels that most viewers take these films at face value. Not everybody is elbows-deep in the saga, or willing to research about it for months, and / or insightful enough to see the story’s connections. Which is why many viewers frown at the narrative and believe the Sequel Trilogy was just badly written. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. As it is now, the whole trilogy is hanging somewhere in the air, with neither a past nor a future to be tied in with.

The prequels already had the flaw of remaining too obscure: most fans are not aware that Anakin had unwillingly killed his wife during the terrible operation that turned him into Darth Vader, sucking her life out of her through the Force: most go by “she died of a broken heart”. So although one scene mirrors the other, it is not likely that most viewers will understand what Rey’s resurrection meant. And: Why did Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon Jinn? What did the Sith want revenge for? Who was behind Shmi’s abduction and torture? Who had placed the order for the production of the clones, and to what purpose? We can imagine or try to reconstruct the answers, but nothing is confirmed by the story itself.

The sequels remained even more in the dark, obfuscating what little explanation we got in The Rise of Skywalker with quick pacing and mind-numbing effects.

Kylo Ren had promised his grandfather that “he would finish what he started”: he did not. Whatever one can say of this last film, it did not bring Balance in the Force. What’s worse, the subject was not even breached. It was hinted at by the mosaic on the floor of the Prime Jedi Temple on Ahch-To, but although Luke and Rey were sitting on its border, they never seemed to see what was right under their noses. It remains inexplicable why it was there for everyone to see in the first place.

We might argue that Ben finished what his grandfather started by killing (or better, causing the death of) the last Jedi, who this one couldn’t kill because he was his own son; but leaving Rey in charge, he helped her finish what her grandfather had started. The irony could hardly be worse.

Episode IX looks like J.J. Abrams simply completed what they started with Episode VII, largely ignoring the next film as if it was always planned to do so. We, the angry and disappointed fans of The Last Jedi, may believe it was due to some of the general audience’s angry backlash, but honestly: the studios aren’t that dumb. They had to know that Episode VIII would be controversial and that many fans would hate it. The furious reactions were largely a disgrace, but no one can make me believe that they were totally unexpected. Nor can anyone convince me that The Rise of Skywalker was merely an answer to the small but very loud part of the audience who hated The Last Jedi: a company with the power and the returns of Disney Lucasfilm does not need to buckle down before some fan’s entitlement and narrowmindedness out of fear of losing money. And if they do, it was foolish to make Rey so perfect that she becomes almost odious, and to let the last of the Skywalker blood die a meaningless death. (Had he saved the Canto Bight children and left them with Rey, at least he would have died with honor; and she, the child left behind by her parents, would have had a task to dedicate herself to.)

The only reason I can find for this odd ending is that it’s meant to prepare the way for Rian Johnson’s new trilogy, which - hopefully - will finally be about Balance. We as the audience don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Filmmaking is a business like any other, i.e. based on contracts; and I first heard that Rian Johnson had negotiated a trilogy of his own since before Episode VIII hit theatres. Maybe he kept all the rights of intellectual property to his own film, including that he would finish the threads he picked up and close the narrative circles he opened, and only he; and that his alleged working on “something completely different” is deliberately misleading.

Some viewers love the original trilogy, some love the prequels, some like both; but I hardly expect anyone to love the sequel trilogy as a whole. What with the first instalment “letting the past die, killing it if they had to”, the second hinting at a promising future and the third patched on at the very last like some sort of band-aid, it was not coherent. I heard the responsible team for Game of Thrones even dropped their work, producing a dissatisfying, quickly sewn together last season, for this new Star Wars project and thereby disappointing millions of GoT fans; I hope they are aware of the expectations they have loaded upon them. George Lucas’ original trilogy had its faults, but but though there was no social media yet in his time, at least he was still close enough to the audience to give them what they needed, if not necessarily wanted. (Some fans can’t accept that Luke and Leia are siblings to this day, even if honestly, it was the very best plot twist to finish their story in a satisfying way.)

I’m hoping for now that The Last Jedi was not some love bombing directed at the more sentimental viewers but a promise that will be fulfilled. “Wrapping up” a saga by keeping the flattest, least convincing chapter for last is bad form. Star Wars did not become a pop phenomenon by accident, but because the original story was convincing and satisfying. Endings like these will hardly make anyone remember a story fondly, on the contrary, the audience will move to another fandom to forget their disappointment.

On a side note, I like The Mandalorian, exactly for the reason that that is a magical story; not as much as the original trilogy, but at least a little. Of course, I’m glad it was produced. But it’s a small consolation prize after the mess that supposedly wrapped up the original saga after 9 films.

We’re Not Blind, You Know…

- Though Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) has Darth Vader’s stature, his facial features are practically opposite to Vader’s creepy mask. This should have foreshadowed that his life should have gone the other way, instead of more or less repeating itself. - As a villain Kylo was often unconvincing; by all logic he should have been a good father figure. (Besides, Star Wars films or series never work unless there is a strong father or father figure at their center.)

- Like Vader, Kylo Ren was redeemed, but not rehabilitated. Who knows who may find his broken mask somewhere now and, not knowing the truth, promise “I will finish what you started”. - The hand-touching scene on Ahch-To which was visually opposite to Anakin’s and Padmé’s should not have predicted another tragedy but a happy ending for them. - The Canto Bight sequence was announcing reckoning for the weapon industry and freedom for the enslaved children. It also showed how well Finn and Rose fit together. - Rey was a good girl before she started on her adventures. Like Anakin or Luke, she did not need to become a Jedi to be strong or generous or heroic. - Rey summons Palpatine after one year of training. Kylo practically begged for his grandfather’s assistance for years, to no avail. Her potential for darkness is obviously much stronger. - Dark Rey’s light sabre looked like a fork, Kylo’s like a cross. - The last time all Jedi and Sith were obliterated leaving only Luke in charge, things went awry. Now we have a Palpatine masquerading as a Skywalker and believing she’s a Jedi. Rey is a usurper and universally cheered after years of war, like her grandfather. - The broom boy of Canto Bight looked like he was sweeping a stage and announcing “Free the stage, it’s time for us, the children.”

Rey failed in all instances where Luke had proved himself (so much for feminism and her being a Mary Sue): - Luke had forgiven his father despite all the pain he had inflicted on him. She stabbed the „bad guy”, who had repeatedly protected and comforted her, to death. - Luke never asked Vader to help the Rebellion or to turn to the Light Side, he only wanted him back as his father. She assumed that you could make Ben Solo turn, give up the First Order and join the Resistance for her. She thought of her friends and of her own validation, not of him. - Luke had made peace by choosing peace. Rey fought until the bitter end. - Luke had thrown his weapon away before Palpatine. Rey picked up a second weapon. (And both of them weren’t even her own.) - Luke had mourned his dead father. Rey didn’t shed a tear for the man she is bonded to by the Force. - Luke went back to his friends to celebrate the new peace with them. Rey went back letting everyone celebrate her like the one who saved the galaxy on her own, she who were tempted to become the new evil ruler of the galaxy and had to rely on the alleged Bad Guy to save both her soul and her body. - Luke had embodied compassion when Palpatine was all about hatred. Where he chose love and faith in his father, she chose violence and fear. - Luke had briefly fallen prey to the Dark Side but it made him realize that he had no right to judge his father. Rey’s fall to the Dark Side did not make her wiser. - Rey has no change of mind on finding out that she’s Palpatine’s flesh and blood, nor after she has stabbed Kylo. Luke had to face himself on learning that he had almost become a patricide. Rey does not have to face herself: the revelation of her ancestry is cushioned by Luke’s and Leia’s support. Rey is and remains an uncompromising person who hardly learns from her faults.

This is cheating on the audience. And it's not due to feminism or Rey being some sort of “Mary Sue” the way many affronted fans claim. Kylo never was truly a villain, Rey is not a heroine, and this is not a happy ending. The Jedi, with their stuck-up conviction “only we must win”, have failed all over again. The Skywalker family was obliterated leaving their worst enemy in charge.  Rey is supposed to be a “modern” heroine which young girls can take as an example? No, thank you. Not after this last film has made of her. Padmé was a much better role model, combining intelligence with strength and goodness and also female grace. The world does not need entitled female brats.

Bonus: What Made The Rise of Skywalker a Farce

- The Force Awakens was an ok film and The Last Jedi (almost) a masterpiece. The Rise of Skywalker was a cartoon. No wonder a lot of the acting felt and looked wooden. - “I will earn your brother’s light sabre.” She’s holding his father’s sabre. - Kylo in The Last Jedi: “Let the past die. Kill it if, you have to.” Beginning with me? - Rey ends up on Tatooine. - The planet both Anakin and Luke ardently wanted to leave. - Luke had promised his nephew that he would be around for him. - Nope. - Rey had told Ben that she had seen his future. What future was that - “you will be a hero for ten minutes, get a kiss and then die? (And they didn’t even get a love theme.) - “The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” On a desert planet with a few ghosts. What of the ocean she used to dream about? - Ben and Rey were both introduced as two intensely lonely people searching for belonging. We learn they are a Force dyad, and then they are torn apart again. - Why was Ben named for Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first place, if they have absolutely nothing in common? - The Throne Room battle scene in The Last Jedi was clearly showing that when they are in balance, Light Side and Dark Side are unbeatable. Why did the so-called “Light Side” have to win again, in The Rise of Skywalker, instead of finding balance? - Luke’s scene on Ahch-To was so ridiculously opposite to his attitude in The Last Jedi that by now I believe he was a fantasy conjectured by her. (Like Ben’s vision of his father.) - Anakin’s voice among the other Jedi’s. - He was a renegade, for Force’s sake. - The kiss between two females. - More fan service, to appease those who pretended that not making Poe and Finn a couple was a sign of homophobia. - We see the Knights of Ren, but we learn absolutely nothing about them or Kylo’s connection with them. - Rose Tico’s invalidation. - A shame after what the actress had gone through because for the fans she was “not Star-Wars-y” (chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire). - Finn’s and Rose’s relationship. - Ignored without any explanation. - Finn may or may not be Force-sensitive. - If he is: did he abandon the First Order not due to his own free will but because of some higher willpower? Great. - General Hux was simply obliterated. - In The Force Awakens he was an excellent foil to Kylo Ren; no background story, no humanization for him. - Chewie’s and 3PO’s faked deaths. - Useless additional drama. - The Force Awakens was a bow before the classic trilogy. The Rise of Skywalker kicked its remainders to pieces. - The Prequel Trilogy ended with hope, the Original Trilogy with love. The Sequel Trilogy ends on a blank slate. - “We are what they grow beyond.” The characters of the Sequel Trilogy did not grow beyond the heroes of the Original Trilogy. - The Jedi did not learn from their mistakes and were obliterated. The Skywalker family understood the mistakes they had made too late. Now they’re gone, too.

  P.S. While I was watching The Rise of Skywalker my husband came in asked me since when I like Marvel movies. I said “That’s not a Marvel movie, it’s Star Wars.” I guess that says enough.

P.P.S. For the next trilogy, please at least let the movies hit theatres in May again instead of December. a) It’s tradition for Star Wars films, b) Whatever happens, at least you won’t ruin anyone’s Christmases. Thank you.

[tsuki-sennin]

Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

[atamascolily]

Lily liveblogs: “The Rise of Skywalker”, part one

I only made it through the first hour tonight because I had to keep pausing to yell at the screen.

"The dead speak!" Okay, but I don't get it: how do they know the Emperor isn't a recording or a hologram? Or, I don't know, someone pretending to be him like the "Hand of Thrawn" duology?

"Supreme Leader Kylo Ren" will never not be a stupid title, gag.

So the Sith wayfinder is just... there. In a forest. In a box with a conveniently removable lid. Okay, I'm going to need some context here. (Ironically, this scene was added back into the film to provide context, lol.)

I actually really like the whole "Force compass" idea, although I wouldn't have made it a plot point in my fix-it if it hadn't already been a thing.

Why the hell would you fly a TIE when you’re supreme leader, those things are shitty af.

So he's the Supreme Leader and he just... runs off to Exegol alone? No backup whatsoever?? I guess Hux or the moffs or whatever does all the actual work, lol.

What can I say? Ian McDiarmid's still got it.

10/10 for aesthetics in the evil Sith pyramid ruins. Kylo looks so out of his league.

So Kylo did actually hear Darth Vader's voice in his head.... or thought he did. Wow.Does Kylo recognize the Emperor's voice? Who knows! But the look on his face when Palpatine says he played him is priceless.

It will surprise absolutely no one that I love the secret underground evil lab with Snoke clones floating in tanks and a "Black Hooded Robes" dress code.

The throne reveal with the flickering light and the medical stuff... excellent.

Kylo's really more a follower than a leader and it shows at how quickly he's willing to serve Palpatine.

Uh, Palps, the last time someone ordered Kylo to kill Rey it didn't go well.... I can't imagine you don't know that.

Poe and Finn teaming up to play against Chewie and still losing is delightful. Also: DATING.

Who the hell is Klaud? Should I know their name? What are they doing there on the Falcon randomly?

I gotta say, I love Poe and Finn and Chewie's dynamic in the drop-off scene. Also blasting through the wall. And the aesthetic of the ice planet in general.

Lightspeed skipping's still dumb, though. Like, everybody is totally right to ream them for it.

Rey's flip to the ground when she's done meditating is perfect.

The Leia footage looks like it ought to fit, but it doesn't look right to my eyes, even if though I can't figure out what's off about it in context.

The training course run is awesome, but I can't help wondering how that hood doesn't choke her in the process or at least get in the way. Nice improvised quarterstaff there.

What the hell is this moment with touching Vader's mask and making a connection with Rey, I don't get it. It's clearly meant to be a moment. Both Kylo and Rey have flashbacks to traumatic past memories, but why right at that moment???

Ahhh, I love Connix's new look here.

why is Rey giving the saber back to Leia?? She's totally earned it several times over in the last two movies. And who else is going to use it??(And when did it get fixed, last time we saw it was split in two as a ~metaphor~ or something.)

Aww, Rey's doing her Jedi independent study with the sacred texts that ghost!Yoda told Luke were so boring he was glad that they were burning just to fuck with Luke. (Ghost!Yoda was an asshole. I am offended on Yoda’s behalf.) 

Yay for Poe and Rey interacting, but this is such a stupid conflict--or at least a stupid way to have written this kind of conflict. And yet somehow they still have more chemistry when Rey calls him "difficult" than Rey and Kylo have had in two entire films.

Why didn't Rey go on this mission again? I don't get it.

Poe's eyeroll on "Somehow, Palpatine returned" is the best.

Rose says what I'm thinking: "Do we believe this?" GOOD FOR HER.

"Dark science. Cloning." Dark Empire, here we come!

I would have bought Palpatine hiding in the Unknown Regions better if we already hadn't had Snoke hiding out there with an entirely different fleet/organization. Even assuming Snoke is Palpatine's puppet, how could Kylo not... notice?? Maybe he's just that self-absorbed. 

And they only have 16 hours before the attack. What a stupid arbitrary deadline to create suspense that ALSO makes no world-building sense. Got it.

(There are times when adding a deadline is a smart narrative choice and there are times when it is stupid. Guess which one this is.)

How does Rey connect Exegol to the books? I feel like the movie skips a step or two in explaining that.

What is Maz doing here?? I thought she was a free agent. Wouldn't it have been easier for her to bring the news from the FO mole, since she's usually the Agent of Exposition in these films?

Looks like the start of a Fetch Quest! Wow. Like I said, I really like the idea of the wayfinders, but not the execution. Also, way to shit on Luke for not finishing the job earlier.

What sort of relationship do Rey and Poe have that Poe is just casually gonna go along with her? I'm not complaining, I just would have liked to see some build-up... literally anywhere.

Finn invites Rose to come along... and she conveniently declines. WTF. I mean, there could be some UST here if you squint and I don't like this pairing, but... I don't get why she declines, except plot, I guess. 

Poe is rocking that scarf action.

Leia gives the saber back... all of Leia's scenes with Rey are literally the same. I think that's what bothers me. They just.. happen and they're all the same, because they're re-using old footage, and it doesn't quite fit the context of the narrative. And we just saw Rey give Leia the saber, so it doesn't quite pack the emotional punch it ought to when Leia gives it back so quickly before Rey has "earned" it. WASTE.

Kylo with the Knights of Ren, re-forging the mask he discarded in the last movie with the help of someone from... Planet of the Apes, I guess. Oh, hey, and there's no context or characterization for the Knights, they're just faceless background minions.

Also, WHY DO THE STORMTROOPERS CALL THEM "GHOULS"? That would actually be interesting to know why!!!

This movie is a bunch of ideas held together with duct tape and the barest streams of logic.

The moff council: most awkward meeting ever. Hux is legit trying not to laugh the entire time. Also, you can easily pick out the New Asshole Villain we're supposed to hate instead.

Kylo snaps at the one moff who actually asks a sensible question, lol, about Palpatine's ulterior motives. Kylo announces he's going to just fuck off with his biker gang to hunt for Rey, because it's not like he's Supreme Leader and actually in charge of anything...

Oh, hey, Space Burning Man. How about that. Poe actually facepalms, lol. ... How did they not notice that when they were landing??

There are just random First Order patrols on Pasaana? Really? Wouldn't they... I don't know, stand out? I need more context, this worldbuilding is so confusing.

Oh, fuck, Poe suggests they split the party, that's a terrible idea. I get that you're supposed to be a spymaster as well as a hotshot pilot, and your colleagues aren't exactly subtle, but...

All the aliens on Pasaana look like Ganesha, lol. I actually like the scene with the kid, because you can see how it pains Rey not to have a family--it's a good scene, it's just in the wrong place.

Geh. Time for more Force(d) Skype sessions with Kylo Ren, sigh.

"Serving another master?" Rey has Kylo's number 100% right there.

Oh, okay, so apparently they saw each other's worst moments in that vision sequence, got it. Still no good reason as to why, though or what Darth Vader’s mask had to do with it. 

Kylo sounds like such a stalker here. Scratch that--he IS a fucking stalker here. I don't find that attractive at all. "When I offer you my hand again, you'll take it" is a THREAT, and I want to deck him, especially since it’s very clear it will come true (but the context will have changed, which is supposed to make it okay, but is still gross to me). 

What the fuck it got worse, he actually touched her and pulled the necklace off GROSS. (Also, HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE???? Didn’t Luke die from pushing himself through space like that???)

Like how does the stormtrooper just start pointing a gun at them and nobody in the crowd notices? And nobody bats an eye when Lando shoots the stormtrooper, either. What?? And that stormtrooper was just patrolling by... himself? WHAT?

This fetch quest is SO STUPID whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy

Makes sense that Luke would hunt down a "Jedi Killer" except... what Jedi did this Ochi fucking kill? All of Luke's students died when Kylo destroyed the temple, so who was left to kill???? I DON'T GET IT. Also, is Ochi a Sith himself, or just in the employ of the Sith? NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

How does Poe know where Lurch Canyon is? Do they have local planetary maps in the Falcon??

Poe would 100% know how to hotwire a speeder. But why do they have to take two of them??

How come this is the first time FINN has seen a FO stormtrooper with jetpacks? Is he mad that they never gave him one???

Personal jetpacks are one of those things that sound cool, but are actually really difficult to work with in practice, lol. I can't imagine strapping something that explosive against my back.

Wait, Rey is able to shoot out an entire craft with a small hand blaster??

Ochi's ship is just... there. On the rocks. the entire time. I guess there aren't any scavengers on Pasaana.

Conveniently, they only start sinking in the sand once the trooper is no longer firing.

"Rey, I never told you..." what?

what is the point of the exchange with General Leia to build tension wtf. But Rose is just there, I guess!  

Poe's eyeroll when Rey turns on the lightsaber and he flicks on his lamp and realizes... hers is bigger. LOL.

Poe is so jealous of Finn and Rey, it would be cute if he weren't an asshole about it. Finn's like "tell us about all the shifty stuff you do" which would make more sense if the films actually showed us spymaster stuff in action instead of just talking about it most of the time. (Yes, I know, there was that mission to get the map at the beginning of TFA, but that was... it? And also two movies ago, so hasn't played a role in character development since. FINN got the spy mission in the last film.)

that dagger is... just conveniently there, huh.

Rey gets a vision when she picks up the dagger, she is TOTALLY A PSYCHOMETRIST, fight me.

Why would you put the location of the wayfinder on a dagger, this makes no fucking sense, this fetch quest is so dumbbbbbbbbbb. Also Threepio's programming is such a STUPID OBSTACLE TO OVERCOME on so many levels gaaaaaahhhh.

We're a half-hour in, and most of the movie so far could have been cut without missing ANY of it, fuck.

Threepio yelling "Serpent!" is actually kinda funny to me, but not in this particular context.

I really love the serpent-creature-sandworm-thing and I'm just sad this side quest has so little relationship to anything in the actual main plot because THIS COULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING. Also, convenient healing magic time! (Introduced here so it seems like less of an asspull later.)

Rey is just so casual about how she transferred a bit of her life energy to the worm. Does it come back? Is it renewable? Is this permanent? I NEED MORE CONTEXT THAT THIS. I feel like I would be hella shaken to realize I’d just done something like this.

If the Knights of Ren had any distinguishing features or personalities, I'd be more nervous about them, but no, they're just mooks with better armor.

So they just assume the FO is watching the Falcon instead of impounding it? Seems like a bold choice, but okay. And what are the Pits of Grig?

Between the lightsaber when Rey was healing the worm and her bag and staff just now, Finn is really just there to carry Rey's things, isn't he? What a WASTE. I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

And the Sith ship... just works. Hasn't been scavenged or damaged at all in years. Okay then.

Gotta admit, I love Rey wandering off into the desert, lightsaber on her belt and blaster on her side holster like a badass.

Finn says, "It's Ren," and I'm like YEAH FINN, but also.. how does he know? Lucky guess? Process of elimination. LET HIM HAVE THE FORCE YOU COWARDS.

Oh, the FO captured Chewie and now they conveniently have the dagger. Sigh. THIS STUPID FETCH QUEST.

Rey's leap over Kylo's TIE is fucking EPIC and I love it. Sadly, Kylo is not dead for some reason despite his ship fucking exploding.

Also FUCK YEAH Rey just grabbed the ship out of the SKY with the FORCE, she is not fucking around. Of course Kylo starts playing tug of war and it explodes, and everyone's devastated except there were TWO TRANSPORTS in the last shot, so I'm just like... I see what you did there.

Also, the same thing happened the LAST time Kylo and Rey tried to play tug of war with an object (the Skywalker lightsaber, which Rey re-built off-screen, so you'd be forgiven for forgetting that happened--which again, would have actually been interesting instead of all the handoffs to/from Leia) so LITERALLY NOTHING HAS CHANGED, so I don’t even understand what the writers are trying to accomplish here.

Also, why does Kylo go for the ship instead of trying to Force choke her directly?? I don't get it.

i'm sad she doesn't bring the transport down on his fucking head, lol.

Wait. Force lightning. She pulls FORCE LIGHTNING??? wtfffffffffffffff?

Where the FUCK did Kylo go while Rey's angsting over Chewie? Was he even there to begin with? What is reality in this movie? What the FUCK??? (Normally, questioning reality would be my jam, but that's not supposed to be a theme of this movie.)

Nope, he's just standing there, not attacking her, because... why?? He's scared and horny because she blasted Force Lightning, and he thinks she's about to turn it on him? (I WISH.)

And he just... lets her go... WHY????????????

Meanwhile, in an asteroid field, Finn and Rey are having a moment, and it's really sweet, and maybe it's just my shipping goggles talking, but would this pairing have been so bad? It would have been so great instead of what we're getting with Kylo. Sigh.

Rey also has a vision of the throne room of the Sith with her and Ren as emperor and empress, gag, gag, gag. John Boyega looks so sad, here, and dude, #same.

Threepio uses the word "sinful" to describe the procedure they're going to use on him, which... actually says a lot about droids in this universe and I am drowning in feels.

SO NOW THEY'RE GOING TO KIJIMI FOR THIS STUPID FETCH QUEST AAARRRRGGGHHHHH dagger macguffin blew up and this quest is still not ovvvveerrrrrr

(I actually don't hate this movie as much as I hated TLJ - this is still dumb, but it's dumb in a way that is just dumb, as opposed to TLJ, which was still dumb but trying to be clever and smart and special and sophisticated about by winking knowingly as it "subverted expectations" by shafting all of my faves. This movie doesn't have the self-awareness to wink.)

They all clasp hands and I'm supposd to feel something but I don't because the group bond doesn't feel real to me or developed or EARNED, and also Threepio rushes in to join them and they're about to shaft him (and he already had that conversation with Artoo about how Artoo was his only real friend, sob). sigggghhhhhhhh.

They only have 8 hours to save the world and it takes HOW long to fly to Kijimi in that derelict ship? Just asking.

But somebody EVVILLLL was following them the whole time, lolololol.

D-O looks like a lamp, but he and BB-8 bond over being Round Things, I guess.

Rey tries to reassure D-O that he's safe, but considering what they're going to Kijimi to do to Threepio, I'm not buying it.

(Apparently, since Han and Luke are dead, and Leia's off-limits for the moment, it's Threepio who gets shafted in this film? Sigh.)

I actually like the landscape of Kijimi, even though it feels more like Disney World with fascism and snow than an actual place. Maybe it's just because Poe looks so good in that hooded jacket.

Zorri can't resist Poe when he looks at her like that. Oscar Isaac's just that good. I literally don't know why this character is here except to provide an unncessary love interest, though.

Poe as a spice runner (aka drug smuggler) is SO STUPID and also MAKES NO SENSE WITH THE REST OF HIS ESTABLISHED BACKSTORY. Also, like... way to make the Latinx character the classic stereotype even in a futuristic space film. Like, you have to go OUT OF YOUR WAY to do that. gag

Funny that Rey doesn't ask the translator droid WHO'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER what Babu Frik says.

So Sith is a language now? Why do the Sith have their own secret language and the Jedi don't? What are the Sith in nu!canon? A culture? A cult? Is the Rule of Two still canon? WTF is even going on here??

Threepio deciding to sacrifice himself to save the world breaks my heart, especially since he's trying to console himself by calling the party his "friends". YOU DESERVED BETTER, THREEPIO, I'M SO SORRY.

Poe and Zorri are up on the rooftop... she's still wearing her helmet. I'm not sure why you cast a famous actor if you're never going to show their face, but whatever, fine. Zorii says the FO took all the kids, and she's going to the "Colonies", whatever that means. I'm not sure how that's possible, this world-building really sucks. Would they take ALL the kids? Somehow, I doubt it. Even the rich kids? What about the non-human ones? What is the FO's relationship to Kijimi, anyway??? I DON'T GET IT.

Oh, hai, another macguffin. This one's a FO captain's medallion, which lets you land anywhere. And she's just going to give it to Poe because...  he's just that hot.

Why did the Emperor put a wayfinder on ENDOR of all places. (Okay, it's not the "forest moon" of ROTJ, it's Kef Bir or something like that, but still. WTF.)

We're an hour in and this fetch quest is still GOING. WHHHHHHHHYYYYY.

I'm surprised Rey hasn't realized that Palpatine has made contact with Kylo and doesn't just fed-ex herself to him and pretend to join him so they can go visit and she can destroy Palps. I mean, that TOTALLY worked in the last film, right??? Why wouldn't she do that again???

(Alternately, there's stealing Kylo's wayfinder, which again nobody seems to consider as an option. Do they not know about that one? I'm sooooo confused.)

"Only this blade tells" is super-creepy in that robotic monotone, y'all.

There is literally NO REASON for Zorii to give up her dreams  by proxy through the medallion macguffin except that Poe is so hot. No reason at all. Sigh. SHE COULD COME WITH THEM BUT SHE DOESN'T, BECAUSE PLOT. She’s literally a living plot device instead of a character and I hate it.

[pheonix-sassafras]

Subject: Isieri  Memory: Error

Memory Source: Fragmented

Number of Fragments: 12

Examine all fragments: Successful

Processing...

"Young Isieri, I wanted to introduce myself. I am Master Aleron Terrkell, I've heard many things about you." The young girl glanced up to the Jedi master, shy at first. He smiles softly at her as if to reassure her. She smiled back. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you Master Terrkell. How can I help you?" "I was wondering if you'd like to sit down with me, perhaps even show me a few things you've learned, I've heard you are in the top of your classes." "If you would like, I have plenty of time." He guided her off to a smaller training room. He sat down by the wall on the floor, motioning her to join him. She was puzzled but did. "Do you like it here in the order?" "They teach me much of that I need to learn." "But do you like it here?" "Sometimes. It's been quite difficult of late if I'm being honest." "Always be honest with me, young one. There is no danger talking with me. Why has it been difficult?" "Of course Master Terrkell. They think I will lose my way. I don't meet their expectations." He nods and pauses to think. "Do you have many friends? Are you close with any of your teachers?" She shakes her head. "No, not many. I'm close with a few of the others, but most of them think I'm weird because I'm different." "Why are you different?" He asks, looking a bit concerned. "My lightsaber is purple instead of blue or green. Everyone else's is blue or green." Terrkell smiles softly at the child. "Maybe that makes you special. Although I know how cruel children can be at times. I hear you are quite gifted for your age. Tell me, how would you like to become my padawan?" Isieri blinks surprised and looks to him. "Really?" "Well of course. It might not be easy, or fun all the time, but I think with some time and getting to know one another, we will make a great team while you learn. What do you say?" "I'd love to." She smiles, excitedly hugging him before freezing and glancing up to him. He laughs softly and hugs her a moment before carefully standing. "Come along then, we should make sure it is official."

As they exited the room and went to find whoever he was looking for, they were stopped by a man. "Master Terrkell, I see you have found your padawan." "Yes, we were just going to make my request." "But didn't they say-" "I am aware what they said. I said what I said." "This child must be set on the right course. You were picked from those looking for padawan's for a reason Terrkell. She is too unpredictable, to filled with anger." Terrkell clenched his jaw seeing the young girl look down, shoulders slumped. "She is but a child. If children weren't prone to straying and wandering, we wouldn't need to train them. Training a padawan is there for a reason. As I see it, she passed the trails to become a padawan. That is the end of the discussion." "You know what your orders are Terrkell, be careful you do not become too personally invested." "I appreciate the warning. If you excuse me, I have business to attend to." Terrkell gently rested his hand on her shoulder and guided her past them.

Next Fragment Processing...

"Master Terrkell?" "Yes, young Padawan?" "Were you assigned to me as he had said?" There was a heavy sigh before his response came. "Yes. But I wanted to give you the option, if a Master and a Padawan don't get along well, the teaching and learning will suffer." "So you knew, what they think of me?" There was another long sigh. "Yes. But oftentimes, they forget what it is like to be a child learning. They forget that Jedi aren't clones, and they don't always behave how you want. Not to say they are wrong or misguided, but sometimes they forget that differences aren't always bad." "So you think they are wrong?" "I think you will be a great Jedi someday." Isieri opens one eye to peek at him sitting across from her, eyes closed. "I am only trying to center myself through meditation, as you are supposed to be. And last I tried, it works best with your eyes closed, and when you aren't asking questions." She closed her eye, "Sorry Master." She wondered how he knew she had peeked. Had her eyes been open, she'd see the smirk and silent chuckle come from the older man.

Next Fragment Processing...

“Master, I’m sorry I just don’t understand why you can’t answer my question?” Terrkell stood to walk away from her, his emotion uncharacteristically high. She stood and followed him. “Master please, I just want-” “I will not teach you about the dark side. Not beyond what I have told you. You don’t need to know any more than that. Now, return to your meditations. It is essential for you to be able to connect to the force.” “Master, I just want to understand. I did not mean to upset you.” Her tone and gaze fell. He sighs, turning back to her and resting his hand on her shoulder. “I know. You are young and curious. But your curiosity could land you into more trouble than you can handle right now. The Dark side draws people into it, twisting their minds to its whims. If you start trying to understand and learn about it while you still are learning, you are at more risk. Trust me Isieri, I don’t keep things from you just to keep them from you. What you are asking is dangerous, and it’s my job to keep you safe until you can keep yourself safe.” His voice was stern, calm, and lacking the emotion she could see in his eyes. She nodded and he walked away, leaving her to continue as he said.

Next Fragment Processing...

“Good, now watch that foot.” Terrkell watches as she adjusts her stance. “Better. Now remember, mimic me step by step, this sequence can be a bit complicated but I think you will enjoy this one.” They move through the sequence slowly at first, then again a bit faster, repeating until Isieri missed a part. Terrkell stopped, smiling. “That was good! You nearly had it, a few more tries and I bet you have it down.” “Yea, but I messed up.” “Everyone does. Come on, let’s try it again. I’ll bet that you can’t get this time.” He said with a smirk. She looks to him and smiles, scoffing and shaking her head. “You’re on old man”

Next Fragment Processing...

“Focus Isieri.” Terrkell’s voice speaks firmly, watching her move through technique drills. “I am. It’s hard to block invisible blasts.” She snaps, pausing. Terrkell sighs. “Well, I’m not exactly about to shoot at you when you can barely stay on your feet through a stationary form drill.” He speaks simply. “I’m standing just fine,” Isieri argues. Terrkell moves over to her and he pushes lightly on her shoulder, causing her to lean over slightly until she had to take a step to keep from falling over. “Standing just fine until the wind blows.” He teases. “How else should I stand then?” She askes with a frustrated huff. “Try again, same stance, just a bit wider. You can’t fight with no balance.” He comments stepping back to supervise her drills. She sets her stance and runs through the drill again. She paused adjusted her stance again and continued again. “Pause,” Terrkell instructed, Isieri nearly immediately following as instructed. he approached her once again, gently pushing on her shoulder. She leaned slightly but didn’t lose her balance. He stepped back with a nod. “Good, go on, continue.” Isieri held back a grin and continued the drill.

Next Fragment Processing...

Isieri’s saber crackled as it crossed with Terrkell’s. She pushed back against his blade, feeling him give into her and allow it. She disengaged, stepping to the side as she arched her saber down towards his leg. He easily blocked it, stepping away from her, holding his hand up, pausing the fight. “Why did you push into the block just to disengage?” “Why did you allow it?” “Isieri, if you are on the defensive, why telegraph your change to offense by pushing into a block? Why not just disengage and switch into offensive?” “You’re the Jedi Master, you tell me?” “Isieri, I know the answer. I don’t ask you because I don’t know, I ask because you need to know. You can develop your own fighting style if you with, but to break rules you first must know them.” She sighs before taking up a stance again. “Alright. Let’s try this again, don’t go easy on me this time.” “My goal is to train you, not beat you. I offer you enough, not more.” He says taking up a stance and immediately deflecting a sloppy blow. The look he gave her drew a smirk from her as she went after him again, once again easily blocked.

Next Fragment Processing...

“Isieri, we have a mission to go to. Devaron. They want us to go see what is going on there. We leave in the morning.” Terrkell mentioned. Isieri glanced up from the information she was studying. “What? But you aren’t combative? You don’t believe we should be in this war, why send you?” “I am the one they believe will be able to take out what is left. There is a temple on the Planet, they want to recapture it if possible. There is knowledge there that can be used.” “But you don’t want to go.” “The Council asked me to go, and I will not say no to them.” He gave her a knowing look and she nodded before returning to her study.

Next Fragment Processing...

She sat in a seat beside Terrkell. Normally he would pilot, but considering the mission and the nervousness of his padawan, he declined. He sat beside her as the ship took off, his arm around her shoulders, comforting her. She leaned into his embrace, closing her eyes as she calmed from the reassurance. The moment of comfort was short, but when she sat up the calmness stayed with her.

Next Fragment Processing...

“Ri? Ri!” Terrkell calls concern in his voice, looking across the mess of the trees the had just collapsed from a blast.  He looked around, ignoring the approaching droids. “Isieri!” She coughs, moving away from the mess of branches. Terrkell spots her and runs over to her, scooping her up into his arms. “You’re alright.” He breathed. “We aren’t going to be if we don’t hurry.” Isieri’s words squeaked out from the dust and force of Terrkell’s hug. He lets go of her, glancing back to the droids that approach them. “Perhaps it’s time we fall back and refigure our battle plans.” He muttered before leading her away.

Next Fragment Processing...

“So, Master Terrkell. What's this I hear about you losing a sparring match against Crim?" Isieri prodded. Terrkell scoffed and looked to the Clone Captain. "I thought we had a deal?" "What can I say, she is a persistent little one." Crim shrugs. "So it is true? You lost against him!" She laughed. "You're never living this down!" Terrkell grabbed at his chest, joking at being hurt. "Oh no, what will I ever do, my padawan has realized I don't always win." "You sure you're not getting to old master? Maybe you should see about finding a place to settle." Isieri teased. Terrkell raised his brows at her comment and without hesitation, she ducked behind Crim as her master ran after her. Running between the clones, the two Jedi raced after each other, laughter coming from all involved.

Next Fragment Processing...

"Master!" Isieri's voice drew his attention as she ran towards him, he looked to the advancing forces and looked back to her. "They haven't seen you. Go. Hide and when they leave, call the council using the transmitter on the ship." He called to her. She stopped a moment, blinking in disbelief. "Master, no. You'll die, we can make it to the ship and go." "Isieri we don't have time for this! I will buy you time but they must know what happened. Go!" She looked up to see the forces moving towards him. She makes her decision and begins running towards him again. He looks to the forces and waves his hand, sending them back before doing the same to Isieri, a strong force sending her body backward behind the cover of a fallen fighter. She slid in between the wreckage, her head jarring against the metal. Her head spun from the disorientation as she scrambled to her knees, looking for her master, expecting the clones to be standing around him. Instead, she saw his body laying on the ground, the clones nowhere in sight. Her heart stopped a moment, her head scrambling with only one answer for the lost time. Without looking around she crept out to where her fallen master lay. She knelt beside him for a few moments, her head bowed in respect and grief. A few tears fell from her cheeks, rage building in her chest, but his voice echoed in her mind. "Isieri, do not let your emotions control you. Focus on your mission." She collected her thoughts and buried her emotions knowing she must get to the ship and find a way to contact the council. She looked around for his saber, figuring she would show it to the council as proof of her master's fate, but could not find it. Realization the clones must have taken it as proof of the same did little but flare up her rage. She stood, and began the slow and careful journey to the ship. It seemed that this planet was crawling with clones or droids, neither of which she knew if she could trust. Before she even made it to the ship, heart sunk. The charred remains said where the ship she was supposed to use to call the council sat before this. Still, she went to the wreckage, searching for anything that could help her, but finding nothing. The sun was setting, the darkness only fueling the panic that had begun to set in. Knowing that they would be looking for anyone who looked Jedi, she left to find a hiding place until the council sent more Jedi to squash the uprising that happened here.

Next Fragment Processing...

The nightmares didn't start until days after Master Terrkell had passed. After a few days, she had given up on more help coming. She needed something to do. She had spent time meditating, at first trying to clear her head of emotions. She wanted to do as he always had said and not let her emotions consume her. To keep a clear head and think clearly about the situation at hand, but every time she thought of the situation, the more she wanted to go out and find the people who killed him. She wanted to see them defeated in the same way he was. Jedi are not supposed to wish death upon another, but every time she closed her eyes she saw him lying in the dirt. Anger and hatred welled up into her mind, pain and fear at the loss of her mentor, grief at the death of someone she cared for deeply. That day when she opened her eyes she realized she wasn't on the Jedi path. She had broken many rules, and bitterly she had to admit they were right. Attachments breed emotions that lead far from those that Jedi are supposed to hold. But how could someone who has been through what she has let go of the things that drive her forward? She remembers what one teacher had told her, when faced with a bully what do you do? Talk with them and teach them how their actions hurt others or beat them into defeat, humiliate them into stopping. Is that not what she faced right now, a bully who had taken something she held dear?  She realizes with a sudden shock her answer. The teacher had said Jedi should always choose the first one. But here she was wanting victory over the bully for what they had taken. Victory. Vengeance. Things Jedi didn't want, yet she wanted and she didn't want to not want them. For years she had used emotion to center her while she used the force, emotions they said she shouldn't. She struggled to concentrate at times without emotion, so she never stopped. The truth weighed down on her mind until she couldn't ignore it anymore. She wasn't on the right path, she had strayed. The problem was she didn't want to go back to the correct path, nor did she want to run off into the chaos of the Darkside. She wanted to walk along the path, guided but true to what she felt. You can't fight for your life without hoping for victory, but nor should you relish others defeat so much so you look for it. She'd find a way to balance it, avoid falling to the ways of the Darkside without becoming unable to be who she was. The nightmares started that night, a visual emotional tug of war between the two sides of her that wanted control. At first it was nightmares of her losing control to one side or the other, murdering people for no reason one night, to failing to act because it wouldn't follow the code of the other the next. It was to the point some nights she would run herself through technique drills till she was tired enough to be able to fall asleep hoping the nightmares wouldn't come. She set her own code over a few weeks, after a spat with a patrol and an attempt at getting supplies. She wouldn't hesitate to defeat an enemy, but she wouldn't kill an unarmed or defeated person. She wouldn't cause unnecessary harm or suffering. She sought knowledge to do what she wanted, the power to do as she must, the strength to do the right thing, the structure to walk in harmony but the freedom to walk through the chaos. It was a simple code for now, but it was her code, and she could add to it when she felt she needed to. The understanding of her code helped easy the nightmares, helped focus her training, and helped keep her sane. They still appeared with vengeance on days in which she fought, days that she tried to use the force in a new way. Some days she felt she couldn't keep away from the simplicity of the dark side, but others she felt challenged enough to focus on the light side. She began to find a rhythm in the pulling of the sides, and in doing so felt more connected to the force than she had in years. But the dreams increased in frequency, a constant reminder she was fighting with herself even when she was at peace with herself. At least, she believed she was at peace until that large ship came down and she set off to go take on another patrol.

[xiamei-sami]

Highlights from Darth Maul: Death Sentence (2012) (Dark Horse)

Darth Maul: Death Sentence is a comic that is set directly after the little known graphic novel The Sith Hunters, when Savage and Maul were working together to build the wealth that would help them recruit an army to do their bidding. In my opinion this is a strange and slightly out-of-character story for Maul and Savage especially, as it shows them being much more overtly malicious than ever before seen in The Clone Wars and other assorted media. At least the art is good, though.

The comic starts off with some amazing hand-porn as it shows Maul force choking and throwing a Faleen that is sent to try and negotiate for the brother’s surrender. Yum. Nice hands.

Maul and Savage are strangely enough hanging out in a cantina in the middle of nowhere, inconspicuously dressed in full length black cloaks. Totally not suspicious, guys. One “mistake” in these panels is the fact that Savage’s horns are shown to be very long yet don’t affect the shape of the hood pulled over his head. It’s as if neither of them have much horns at all.

It’s how they got here that interests me most, though. Except for in The Sith Hunters, we are hardly shown a normal day for Savage and Maul, we don’t get to see the moments they share when they’re alone or spending a quiet afternoon plotting their next move. We are only shown these action sequences, which I suppose is the best we’re going to get outside of fanfiction.

I’d like to point out that Maul is casually sitting in the back while Savage attacks the bounty hunters set after them.

A scene in the Jedi temple is then shown as a master and her padawan talk about Darth Maul. It makes one wonder exactly how many people knew of Maul and what was said about him in the temple. I can imagine Maul becoming a sort of fairytale that the older Jedi use to keep children in line, ya know, “You have to eat all your vegetables or Darth Maul will come get you. He eats naughty children.”

This comic overall has very amusing dialogue, like in this scene. The amount of times Maul’s disability is mentioned in a joke is quite disturbing however and it’s as if supposedly compassionate Jedi are suddenly forgetting it’s not okay to make fun of a debilitating injury.

I love the art that shows their faces in black shadow except for their eyes. Very cool effect.

And a panel of Maul taking advantage of his cybernetics. I would not want to get hit with that leg.

This is a strange panel because it suggests that Maul has trouble controlling Savage to the point that Maul must use his saber to keep his brother from killing an enemy that holds useful information. Savage has never been shown to be an uncontrollable dumb brute with his brother in the TV show, he was always immediately stopping or quieting himself even when Maul simply held up a hand. It’s these out-of-character moments that are a bit frustrating for me in this comic, and I hate the fact it’s reducing Savage’s character to a mindless, rage-filled goon.  

Maul seems pretty sensitive about his experiences on Lotho Minor, understandably. 

Grandfather is sick of your shit, child.

Here we have an important moment in Maul canon history, where Maul is shown for the first time to use force suggestion. He whispers to the soldier, who stumbles back to his squad in confusion and activates a grenade in his hand, destroying many other men. We have never seen Maul use such a power in any other media, which supports his characterization as a man who thinks over-use of force powers is cowardly and not befitting of a true warrior.

These next panels are incredible, in composition and dialogue. It shows us a rare bit of Maul instructing Savage, and captures a moment in time in which Maul still considered himself a Sith. It makes one wonder at what point exactly did Maul decide to reject the Sith title. When Savage died? When Talzin died? Sometime on Malachor? 

A strange piece of dialogue where Maul and Savage refer to an alien as “it.” 

I love this scene because it shows Maul, in an otherwise malicious characterization of him, being reasonable and open to negotiation.

Savage is angry on behalf of Maul, offended that the Jedi would make such a suggestion when Maul graciously allowed them to speak. Although the second panel confuses me, Savage tells them their words would have been better used to beg for their lives, as if it would have made a difference. Is he suggesting that Maul would have spared them if they had begged? I’m not sure what’s going on, honestly. I just know that Maul looks adorable as the Cheshire cat.

Savage is easily bested by this Jedi and knocked to the ground, making one wonder how such a disciplined warrior as Maul would have allowed his apprentice to be so clumsy. This is just adding more on to the “dumb brute” trope.

Savage has a barrel of carbonite thrown at him by another Jedi. Not recognizing what it is, he slashes at it, which throws gallons of the liquid at him and freezes him in place. I was always under the impression that carbonite freezing a living being required specific conditions and specialized machines to avoid damaging the person, as were showed when Han Solo was frozen. Anyways, Maul is obviously very distraught.

“You dare?” was in response to Savage being frozen. I love protective, angry Maul.

In this next scene, a child is shown to stab Maul through the prosthetics, allowing the other Jedi to get away unharmed. It’s hard to tell what’s underneath the cybernetics in that area, but I’m surprised the lightsaber didn’t go straight though some cybernetic organs or anything else important.

Why Maul doesn’t simply kill the child in this scene is beyond me. He could have slashed horizontally rather than vertically and taken off the child’s head. Obviously the writers needed that character for later scenes, but this seems like lazy writing to me.

After Maul sustains that injury, he flees from the battle and walks through an unforgiving desert. He eventually passes out and experiences this dream, which is a very good look into Maul’s subconscious- what he fears and what he hates. He seems to be very disturbed by who he became on Lotho Minor, and sees himself in his dream. 

Maul has never been shown to be overtly self-hating, but is it possible that his giant ego could be covering up for him ultimately hating himself and who he’d become after Naboo? He is very obviously disgusted by his spider-form and loathes that part of himself.

He fears that the spider-him will never be truly gone, and Maul wishes he could kill that part of himself.

On top of being reminded of his injury on a daily basis by asshole Jedi, it bothers him enough to appear in his dreams, making him feels helpless, impotent, and lesser.

All of Maul’s dreams are about Kenobi, Lotho Minor, and the injury he sustained. These are the 3 things that constantly plague him. We are shown another similar dream sequence in The Sith Hunters which I will make a post about soon. Also, just look at that face. The artist did a fantastic job making Kenobi horrifying. 

End of Part 1

[alfstop50]

Game #10: Super Mario 3D World

”Super Mario 3D World! Meow!”

Released: Nov. 21st, 2013 Synopsis: The discovery and subsequent fixing of a strange glass pipe leads Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad into the Sprixie Kingdom to save the Sprixie Princesses from the clutches of Bowser. Play alone or with friends as four unique characters, and enjoy new power-ups like the Super Bell and the Double Cherry! Chosen Music: Switch Scramble Circus --- I can recall everything about my first moments with Super Mario 3D World like it was yesterday. I was at home from my old university for the weekend during which time I had managed to get a copy of this game, and I started it up not long after I had made a particularly depressing RP post. Now, I had no idea what to expect from this game that wasn’t already in trailers, but I remember just having a blast as soon as I began playing. It wasn’t often that a Mario game would suck me in by the first world, but I remember just giggling with joy as I made my way through the first couple levels and getting a handle on Cat Mario. Eventually, I made it to the first circus level of the game, which changed the music as I solved puzzles and the music would gradually built up to the end of the level, where it finished with aplomb as I grabbed that flagpole and heard the cheers of the crowd. It was at that moment that I realized how utterly magical this game was. 3D Land had already done a great job of translating the 2D games to a 3D environment, but I could tell that it was missing a lot of the heart that usually makes me love most Mario games. With 3D World, however, everything about it feels so creative and imaginative, from the way it handles the level design to the way it implements the musical score. It constantly challenges your expectations by tossing in levels like a Japanese-style temple, an auto-scrolling bullet train, and even an entire homage to the Mario Kart series, and it constantly encourages and rewards creativity with old power-ups and newer ones like the Super Bell. I haven’t gotten a chance to fool around with multiplayer too much outside of a couple times with my brother (and one time with my mom, which was really nice), but I honestly love the idea a lot. Multiplayer has been one of the few really cool ideas to come out of the New Super Mario Bros. console games, but seeing it in a legitimately good Mario game is incredible, and the possibilities for having a good time/screwing everyone over open up even more. But I also wanna talk about one of my absolute favorite parts about 3D World, which is the final boss battle with Bowser. It’s essentially a large chase sequence up a tower in a manner similar to games like New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Super Mario 3D Land, but it actually starts with Bowser using the power of the Super Bell to transform himself into a cat version of himself. Not only is this hilarious, but it’s also one of the very few times Bowser’s ever used a power-up against you, and it instantly makes the fight far more intense and interesting when you have to fight against a power-up you’ve been using for the whole game. Then in the second half, he ups the ante by using the Double Cherry to make clones of himself, and soon enough you’re dodging Meowser clones at every turn, and all the while the music keeps building up more and more and accentuates the tension as you make your way to the top to finish him off for good. It is absolutely amazing and my favorite final boss in a Mario game, probably my favorite in video games period. I really had to work in order to give myself 100% completion on this game (which involves clearing every stage with every character to get their Miiverse stamps), but I honestly did not mind going through the game 5 times on one file. If anything, it just hammered home how unique this game is, from how differently each character plays from one another to how much care is put into its level design. It’s an honest to goodness homage to everything that makes Mario so beloved, and it’s something I wouldn’t hesitate to play with a friend at any opportunity. It remains to be seen if this will still be as high up my list as it is with Super Mario Odyssey on the way, especially when Odyssey is going so far as to top every single Mario game that’s come before it in terms of creativity and imagination. But as of now, I’m happy to say that Super Mario 3D World has earned every right to be my favorite mainline Mario title. Teaser for Game #9: You get to hang out with a fox