#like they cannot stand the thought that some people just. aren't interested in any of that
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People really need to stop talking about aromantic people in such a way to suggest we need to, like, make up for our lack of romantic attraction? This ties into the whole "aromantic people can still date" and "aromantic people can have qprs" and "aromantic people still feel strong platonic love" pattern I keep seeing where it's as if people are trying to say "don't worry, they can still be mostly normal" and it is so frustrating to me as a non-partnering aromantic person and is likely even worse for aplatonic and loveless aros.
#seraph's ravings#aromantic#aroallo#that isn't to say dating or being in qprs or having really strong platonic feelings is bad#or makes you 'less aro'#this is more about people having like. a very weird obesseion with these concepts#when talking about aromantic people#like they cannot stand the thought that some people just. aren't interested in any of that
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…sooo can u be, like, cupioromantic and alloplatonic at the same time
But as someone who feels this way, SAME!!!!
WE ARE NOT BETTER. WE ARE FORCING OURSELVES TO CONFORM TO SOCIETY. WE’RE JUST VERY PASSIONATE ABT OUR FRIENDS
Also as an aromantic who’s societally acceptable bc of my life dreams, it feels like my existence cheapens ppl who are aromantic but r apl n their experiences bc we use the same labels??? Just some posts by apl’s getting to me ig
aroace alloplatonic culture is trying really really hard to not give people the wrong idea about all aro people while coming out.
(very frustrating because I don't want people to think I'm 'better' than apl or allosexual aros, or that aro and ace are the same thing, but also I want to get across what my identity specifically is.)
.
#aro#aromantic#actually aro#alloplatonic aro culture#lgbtqia#like they cannot stand the thought that some people just. aren't interested in any of that#exclusionists fuck off#or makes you 'less aro'#when talking about aromantic people#aromantism
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Thinking about the fact that most of Tims character arch is based around him actually dealing with the things from his past
Like a major part of tims character is his denial of the things that happened to him-- his repression of memories, chalking things up to hallucinations, suffering in silence, brushing off any concern from those around him ("Tim what's that?" "Just some medicine I need to take" "Are you sick, do you need to go home?" "No I'm fine.") The fact that he never mentioned his medical history or his time at the hospital to Jay until he was basically forced to.
And what was it that finally made him tell Jay about the hospital? The operator directly attacking him and making him relive scenes from his past. It wasn't until he was forced to realize what was at stake, forced to essentially confront the danger he was in by bottling up his past, that he willingly (at least somewhat) shared that information with someone. I do like to think that maybe Tim opened up to Brian in college, but as far as cannon evidence, we only really see Tim willingly talking to Jay about it. Brian knew, sure, but it's just as easy to assume he found that after the fact-- that he caught Tim in the lie, rather than Tim telling him outright.
And Tim really isn't a great liar, either. Like I know we talk about Jay being a little bit of an idiot (rightfully so) but Tim's main course of lying is. The most obvious deflection in the world. When Jay mentions the tape in his house, Tim's response is to immediately deflect ("I'm a little more worried about my house right now.") which would be a smaller thing if Tim wasn't intimately aware of how important it was to find and watch any tapes they possibly could. Tim's only method to coping with things that happen to him and the people around him is through denial, even in times when it would be infinitely more beneficial to acknowledge the issue at hand.
What's even more interesting to me is that Tim is seemingly the only character that makes any genuine progress in fighting against the operator. But that comes with the caveat that Tim is only able to do so when he actually confronts the operator, and by association, the issues of his past.
The only way he and Jay are able to make amends and move on is by Tim telling Jay about the hospital, which was only spurred on by Tim being forced to relive his trauma. Right after Tim tells Jay to stay out his life, he (by force of tta) has a relapse and ends up paired with Jay anyways. The only way he's able to get Jay and himself away from Alex's house in one piece is by literally physically standing up to the operator. In the fight against Alex, the whole time he's being ported around, he is monologuing about his past-- he's finally acknowledging the things that happened to him, that they weren't his fault, that they affect other people, and that violence isn't the answer to dealing with them-- that isolating yourself and denying the truth of what's happening isn't the answer.
And of course this is all tied back to the metaphor of mental illness: the fact that you cannot deny the things that have happened to you if you have any hope of moving on from them. you can't lash out or harm others because of your trauma if you have any hope of moving past it. The reason Jay, Brian, and ultimately Alex all died is because they were incapable of facing their issues head on; they all turned to anger, isolation, violence, and otherwise feeding into what the operator wanted, or alternatively, feeding into the misery spiral of their mental illness, rather than finding healthy coping mechanisms to heal from and move on from it.
God I need to write a full analysis essay about him OKAY I'm ending it here these aren't all my thoughts this doesn't make sense but I'm ending it here thank you for watching goodbye
#robi rambles#marble hornets#tim wright#jay merrick#mh spoilers#i love him i love tim i love him#i hope creepy swes this creepy this ones for you i hope you like my tim meta ^-^
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Hello!
Firstly, Im USAmerican I’m not trying to be like “oh woe is me,” Im just trying my best to understand what would be the best option for everyone. I’ve heard so many varying things and this is my second time voting, so I just want wanted to know what other people think. This isn’t meant to be malicious or condescending in any way either! I know you can do multiple things at once it’s just that I worry that when I walk into that polling booth, that I’ll be putting more innocent people at stake.
I’ve seen people tell,call,email etc Kamala to say that she isn’t getting their vote unless she stops funding Israel and their assault on the Palestinian people. And I’ve seen some people say that there is literally no point in trying to reason/ransom with her and that she (like all other US presidents) is a monster no matter what.
I’ve seen some other people say that voting 3rd party or not voting at all is the only way to go. But I worry that a 3rd party candidate wouldn’t stand a chance so late in the game. And I also worry that not voting would be a waste of a privilege, especially since so many people don’t have the access to voting inside the US and out.
I’ve also seen people worrying about project 2025 being pushed into place and I’ve also seen other people say Americans are cowards for worrying about such a thing.
I know you don’t live in the US but I also know this election impacts people outside of the states so I just wanted to know your thoughts. I’ve asked this to another blog as well, so if any of your followers have thoughts Id like to hear them too! I just feel a little pulled in every direction and I figured asking around would be a good idea.
Thank you so much and have a nice day!
If I were in your position I would stop going back and forth about who to vote for and start organizing. Were social rights protected with Biden? Very clearly not, since people are already suffering from things that are in that think tank's document. Abortion is no longer protected, trans people are begin targeted across a good portion of the states, the border is going to keep getting bloodier regardless of who wins, etc. Sure, you might argue that these things are not in control of the president, like the Supreme Court or the individual states. So then, how are elections supposed to help? And this is just talking about domestic policy, but the imperialist cogs of the US hegemon will keep turning no matter who's in DC, and you really cannot fucking ignore the current genocide in Palestine, plus the US' entire history of foreign interventions and the suffering that has come from that. You all should really realize the scale of the situation and stop engaging with the US on its own terms. There are class interests to which every mechanism of liberal democracy are subordinated to.
It is extremely unique for you USAmericans to spend this much fucking time and energy on your elections, you can't overstate it. Practically every year is filled with election bullshit. Election periods in basically the rest of the world only last like a month at most, where I live it takes two weeks. Elections aren't even the only or most important way to participate in politics within the very basic framework of liberal democracy. But you're all constantly acting like it's a team sport, always with the election. Don't take this personally anon, I'm not annoyed at you specifically and I appreciate the effort in your ask, but it's so incredibly childish to every single time spend 2 years or more hueing and crying about the upcoming election. Do something about it then! stop hyperfocusing on a single day every 4 years! People were already talking about the 2020 election after Trump won in 2016, that's absurd!
Read Lenin and read decolonial theory, organize yourself and the working class, build political-revolutionary consciousness amongst your class, do whatever you can to strike at the stability of the empire which you live under without getting arrested or killed, and stop legitimizing this pantomime by making it the exclusive vehicle of your political thought. Voting is just a single day, and the run-up (not 3 years!) should be spent campaigning for your own interests, denouncing this bullshit system you all keep saying you also don't "like". "Surviving", which is what some left liberals keep saying they're trying to do (I know you did not say that, anon), looks like organizing yourself and everybody you can to stop relying on the scraps the managers of capitalism and imperialism sometimes throw at you.
Voting as an action and voting as a strategy are two different things. What you're worried about, as I understand it, is the action of going to a booth and putting your choice of ballot in the box. Voting as a strategy, is the decoration and structure so many people build around it. I can't recall exactly who I saw doing this, but a USAmerican mutual of mine who's also a communist got an ask about who they're voting for. This mutual laid out the options in their state, went over their policies, and explained why they'll vote for the candidate they disliked less (I think it was an independent but don't quote me on that). You know why none of us "election interfering foreign agents" jumped at them for this? because they understand the very limited potential for voting, spent a little bit of their time researching each candidate avaliable to them, and then spend the entire rest of their political energy focusing on other things outside electoralism.
Yeah, shit's fucked for social rights, so is basically anywhere else in the world right now. I also don't have good choices in my elections, half the parliament is talking about the islamization of Spain and plans to gut any public service, and the other actively anesthesizes and absorbs any social movement that could combat reactionarism. So I stop worrying too much about who I'm casting my ballot for and I dedicate all my political energy to militancy in my communist party, slowly creating class consciousness and setting up ways to eventually protect our own class from the inevitable strike. All of this while being the 12th economy in the world, and consequently, an integral part of the imperialist NATO and EU, facts that no sector of our liberal democracy even questions. And do you think our siblings in the countries victim of the imperialist doctrine of NATO have it any better? When entire elections and governments have been interfered with not by "social media bots", but by actual bloodshed and terror? They don't spend years yelling at each other about who to vote for, they also organize themselves and attempt to emancipate their own class
#ask#anon#seriousposting#sorry to be this harsh anon but the whole thing is exasperating#again. I assure you I'm not annoyed specifically at your ask#you're already being more critical than like 90% of the electorate
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what is up froods
lol i keep forgetting to like. actually write updates in my personal journal. i'm using this tumblr too much like a tumblr.
i went down a rabbit hole the other night in that i just opened my own archives and went back to 2013 and then realized i started this in 2011. i didn't say a lot, back then i definitely was still using my LJ for Big Personal Updates and Tumblr was exclusively for snappy shitposts, and then I abandoned the LJ and only blogged in snappy shitposts for a while, and I did some vagueblogging that I genuinely have no idea what it was about, and that's fun.
But there's some. Boy there's some real fossils in there. God everything stays the same but everything happens so much.
I know I've backed up this blog but IDK how much you can make it make sense, offline. Anyway. That's how it goes. I'm not in any kind of existential panic about the site I'm just reacting to the zeigeist here, it made me think of old times.
I go back to the farm in a couple of weeks-- just for a couple of weeks, but the Season is Starting. My physical therapist keeps giving me more exercises. She's right, my core strength is wretched, but when I said I'd tried to do crunches now and then, tried to stay a tiny bit fit but-- she was like omg no you can't do crunches, with that hip cartilage as it is, so I felt a little better. So she's teaching me what I *can* do, and the important thing is that she's like you cannot do this more than every other day or three times a week, you cannot rush this kind of thing, and it's wonderful advice contrary to all the other advice I've ever had in my life which was like every moment you're not doing more work you're being a lazy shit. So, that's nice. I'll cut because nothing else here is going to be interesting.
I'm not the youngest person at physical therapy but there's a lot of old people there. I haven't been masking, I've been being lazy and just using xylitol nose spray before I go, and it's been fine, but I know that's just luck. (I see no one but Dude, who sees almost no one but me, so the consequences of fucking up would be minor.) with a trip to the farm coming up, I'm going to go back to masking, at least in the lead-up to the trip-- because last time I had COVID I had almost no symptoms, and nowadays apparently the rapid tests aren't super useful. The way I'm coping is, I know, a logical fallacy-- since COVID wasn't bad the one time I had it, I'm just telling myself I'm resistant naturally and it won't hurt me, and I know this is not the truth at all but it helps me cope-- but I cannot stand the thought of spreading it to someone who would be more hurt by it, so I have convinced myself not to fear catching it but to fear spreading it. I figure it's effectively the same and lets me not just be fucking terrified all the time.
I also discovered that a former employee of the farm who's out here going to college is interested in carpooling, and we've already got a tentative date for him to ride back with me on my way back from the farm at the end of March, and this has lightened my spirits a great deal. It's such a long drive and it feels like such a waste of gas, and he does have a car but it's not actually that safe to drive on the Thruway. (He swears up and down it's perfectly safe but just not at sustained speeds over 60. I was like omg kid do NOT, I will drive, my car is brand fkn new. He's taking the train home and will ride back with me.)
Let's see. Oh I don't think I've kept up with posting about the kitchen painting. It's down to the last tiny fiddly details, and what I've got to do is do a half-stencil in the corner above the door, and I did one half yesterday and will finish the rest today. I had to custom cut out a copy of part of the stencil to make it work, and it's sort of janky and I am going to have to hand-paint it with a lot of masking tape, but it's such a small area that like, why not, I can be that fussy. It's fine.
Once I finish that, which if I do part in the morning and part in the afternoon I can do today, then I can FINALLY CLEAN UP AND PUT AWAY all the painting detritus. I can't tell you how excited I am to do that.
I've also been doing fabric dyeing, finally. I collected several of the muslin garments I'd finished and meant to do something with, and got out my dyes. I did a batch of ice dye solely because I forgot which ones I'd intended to use for that; now I have a pair of slightly ill-fitting homemade leggings that look like a clown threw up on them, and a cheerful sweatshirt to match. i then used the runoff to dye the cream-colored canvas work smock-- I sort of tie-dyed it because I pasted up a little bit of two of the component colors and poured that on a couple areas that I then rubberbanded, because I wanted tie-dye but did not want any white areas left. So it's a blue/purple/red smock now, and the rainbow stitching I constructed it with was polyester so it's still rainbow, huzzah. Subtle and understated and also I can smear it with filth and maybe it will still look intentional.
[image description: a canvas work smock with big pockets, hanging to dry, mostly a mucky dark purple but with some brighter splotches of red and dark blue, and some bits of paler purple.]
[image description: assorted garments draped over drying racks in a sunporch, in blotchy shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, all kind of run together but not murky.]
And then I did another batch of ice dye, this time with the dyes I had bought that are supposed to work well for this because they split. That dress is still in the wash so I don't have pictures of how it turned out, but mostly it just looks splotchy green. LOL oh well. The point was, I made all these test garments in undyed fabric, but I don't have a lifestyle where I can wear a white dress, so now I have some non-white dresses I don't have to be precious about. Some of them I should now probably hem and like actually finish..........
I have one dress and one shirt left, and a pair of light-wash jeans I don't like wearing, and I'm thinking about trying like. Ombre or something. We'll see if I get around to that.
My sewing area is still a fuckin disaster and I don't want to think about it. But I'm cutting out a vest from scrap denim, I want a quilted abrasion-resistant washable work vest for farm work next week and I gotta get a move on. All I need now is to cut out the batting and get to it. So hopefully today.
I took photos, I might try writing up how-tos on the dyeing and on the repurposed denim stuff, but I also might not. If I was doing this again I would probably not bother with the ice, for the rainbow one. We'll see once the properly ice dyed dress comes out of this wash, I can hear the washer spinning but I'm trapped under Chita at the moment.
I missed this week's fic update because I'm progressing so slowly on both current active WIPs. I have a bunch written ahead in both, but each one has the back half of the current chapter just held up waiting for me to write them; I've overcome the structural decisions that delayed me, but I have to just sit and write them. And both of them are complicated scenes I've been waiting to write a long time, so I'm looking forward to writing them, and so like, paradoxically, can't make myself do it. Because once I've done it I'll have done it, see... anyway. Silly but there it is. I'll get through it once I decide I deserve that treat. I know! I know.
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"Ain't no wonder you're wet, luv."
Alfie Solomons x Reader - Interactive gif-Story
❗smutty little thing it is, loves.
You have no idea, simply no idea at all why the fuck this man has something in his gaze that totally gets you. You were born and raised to be a stubborn woman, to question everything and all - but with him, it's different. And it's in his damn intense gaze, those eyes lying heavy on you, giving you the pleasuring feeling in your guts that you've done something wrong, something he might punish you for. Cause you know him, you know what people say about him, his hands, that one gaze.
He doesn't only talk with his eyes, but also with his hands. Broad hands, picked with jewellery, thick fingers wearing rings that you know feel fucking cold and heavy on your skin.
He touches the lamp beside him. His gaze is still on you, your body, fixing every single breath you take. He still doesn't say anything, but you can feel it heavy in the air, the question he's about to ask. His thumb glides over his index finger, as if to correct the ring that sits there, a gesture that gives you pure goosebumps. It's the same gesture, the same small movement he makes when he strokes your clit, rings hard-cold against the small, wet, throbbing knob of flesh of yours. You breath out, trying not to make it look obvious how he fucking gets you just with this.
"Where were you last night?", he asks, voice dark and heavy, a thrilling throb in your pussy. It makes you shiver, that voice. You bite your lower lip, watching how his fingers make that one, intense motion again.
"I was off. Needed some sleep", you say, and he watches you like he knows you're lying. You needed sleep though, you really did, as he had fucked and fucked you raw the night before, goddamn. So good you needed a pause, afraid he'll lose his interest in you.
"Off you were, mm." God, that voice, it directly seems to drive into your folds, as if his broad thick fingers are already thrusting into you.
He strokes his beard, eyes all dark and wanting, and you cannot even answer. He does, though, and the answer won't make your already growing lust for this man any better.
"You should've been on my lap, luv, riding ma dick, nothing else. You know what? I can see you're wet right now, aren't you? Fuckin' leaking for me, dove, and you know what? I'm gonna fuck you. Fuck that dumb thought of being away from me right out of ya."
He stands up from his chair, god he really does, his gaze on your body like it has already ripped your clothes off. You breath out, trying desperately to think something clear.
Choice is yours. 🔥 Part II follows when the decision is made on what you wanna see!
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can i ask for a small favor? can you rant about daemon targaryen please? i just re-read your team green 💚 post and i'm reminded of how much ick i feel towards that character, especially in the wake of the team trailers being released.
hiii!!! tysm for this ask i was super happy when i saw it in my inbox i'm flattered people want to hear my opinions lol
my thoughts about daemon are very convoluted. i think he has the potential to be a very interesting character but it's kinda canceled out by the incest and pedophilia thing.
like. i understand it's an incest dragon show but my main issue with team black when it comes to their criticisms. they love to spout endless words about how aegon is a rapist and how alicent is a rape apologist for not... idk slitting his throat i guess.
it's really ironic to me, because these same people will turn around and then yap about how daemyra is the perfect ship. they'll be aghast when you even slightly suggest you enjoy aegon's character in any way but be in an uproar if you dare bash their dashing and roguish prince daemon.
honestly, name one terrible thing aegon did and i'll be able to give you something daemon did that is arguably worse than that.
aegon - raping a servant girl in the show (which honestly i'm treating more as a fanfiction considering how terribly written both the greens and the blacks are).
daemon - uhmmmm probably the whole thing with nettles. you know. the sixteen year old girl he groomed and raped (yes raped because minors aren't able to consent). actually, now that i think of it, he did the exact same thing with rhaenyra too, huh? or does team black find the whole fleabottom episode to be hot and rhaenyra being sexually free? that seems like the sort of thing they'd take from that whole fiasco.
on the topic of blood & cheese: the way some people defend this is honestly sickening.
'but poor luke was killed by his terrible uncle aemond' he was an envoy of war (not to aemond, btw, he owed him no safe haven) and also he kinda. yk. took out his eye. i'm not saying luke deserved to die, but i'm going to be honest this is one of the more mild things that happened during the dance.
whether luke deserved to die (which i'd like to reiterate: i do not think he did. i can understand WHY aemond killed him, but that is not me EXCUSING him. this is for those of you who don't know how to read and will inevitably find a way to start putting words in my mouth) b&c is completely unexcusable.
it's team feminism until its a woman who doesn't fit your little box of badass hottie. it's team feminism until that woman doesn't bow down to rhae-rhae and betray her own family and children in order to join the 'good side.' it's team woman until you point out that rhaenyra was groomed by daemon and continues to make decisions that are decidedly anti-feminist.
this is why i can't stand team black stans who say things like 'i hate the greens except for helaena bc she didn't do anything wrong' because you quite literally cannot do that without admitting that helaena suffered because of the blacks NOT the greens.
helaena suffered bc of DAEMON not because of any actions taken by the greens. DAEMON was the one who orchestrated b&c, the one who sent men to terrorize her and kill her children.
daemon did that.
i have no problem with people who can admit that their faves have flaws. i admit aemond's flaws, daeron's flaws, aegon's flaws. the problem i have with daemon is that his stans are so insufferably annoying and they literally cannot do any of that.
my last thought about daemon (at the moment, at least) is his relationship with strong boys.
lots of tb likes to say that daemon loved those boys like his own and would never do anything to hurt them. and i... honestly find it a little strange, and also a little embarassing, because how am i going to have a better grasp on his character than those that love him most???
i genuinely believe that daemon, had rhaenyra ascended to the throne like viserys planned, he would have caused 'unfortunate accidents' for the strong boys in order to get his blood on the throne. which, btw, was one of the main reasons viserys named rhaenyra heir, to keep daemon from sitting on the throne.
i think it the succession crisis had been between daemon and rhaenyra instead, it would have been a much more interesting storyline.
then again grrm isn't that good at writing interesting storylines when it comes to daemon considering he's a self-insert. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if when he died it was found out that grrm had a fanfiction written somewhere where daemon survived the fight with aemond and got to live out the rest of his boring ass life grooming little girls. who knows.
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re: last one
hi abyssal! i'm back like a lying liar because that was not the last of me yapping about allegory of the cave. anyway, about this bit-
It will not remember that often times he was the man standing beside me at parties, unsure and searching for the right opening, or the slight nod he gave me as he left, having found an in to a conversation. I have never written down how much that nod means to me. I could never write it down properly.
-do you have any more felix & florus thoughts? what their dynamic was like (since they don't seem to be friends exactly but also seem to be more than acquaintances)?
Yay! No, I love answering questions! You're always welcome! I guess this goes without saying, but this is obviously all my headcanon. Thanks for the ask! Also this got longer than I expected!
All the mentors (for the most part) are at the minimum some form of school friends or at least friendly acquaintances (Felix-Livia and Coriolanus-Livia being the notable exceptions I can think of off the top of my head. Urban Canville is probably disliked by many of the others as well). I think that there's some affection between all of them from just growing up in the same circles and as these are top performing Academy students, likely seeing each other in the same honors classes and functions.
Working off that baseline, I don't think the Friend family is quite on the same level in terms of influence and wealth as the Ravinstills, Heavensbees, or the more prestigious families of the Academy.
Felix is more comfortable interacting with people whose families are closer to his in status or with people who seem more honest with their intentions/emotions. Florus doesn't really fall into either category in my mind (Florus trying to fit in would not put him in the latter). (I think lowkey a thing I have going on with Felix is that before he comes into his own the idea of who he should be as a Ravinstill gets in the way of him making personal connections, so this continues to be an extension of that in a way.)
When Felix and Florus could have become closer (during the Academy), I think they were preoccupied with their own internal issues which are both kind of similar. They both felt kind of overlooked in their families (in Felix's case, this is a result of miscommunication while in Florus' case, this is more actually the case). They aren't really thinking too hard about that other guy who has similar interests to them. Felix enjoyed history, although I think he fell into the traps of getting swept up into narratives rather than peeling back the curtain of how these historical narratives are formed like Florus would. To be fair, I think Florus fell into that trap when he was younger too. Unfortunately, at worst, they might have felt that their interests were too similar. There might have tried to avoid each other because of that (self-conscious about being replaced).
Still, I think that they probably would have gotten on well if they had interacted more/gave themselves a chance to become closer, and I think Florus would recognize that in the later years. In hindsight, he says that they could have been friends, maybe even good friends, and I think it compounds the guilt he has due to his indirect involvement with Felix's death.
In the end, their small kind of nod of kinship at parties, to me, was meant to amplify that idea that small things cause ripples, like Florus giving the list that eventually led to Myrtilus Carnes killing Felix but in kind of an opposite way? Like Florus' action has a describable impact. Felix's nod means a lot to Florus (some form of comfort. "you are not alone") but it isn't really something you can explain. (it's a small gesture that means a lot personally but to an outsider is just... nothing). Again, the things that history cannot truly capture in my opinion (the personal).
(if you look closely, my brain getting inexplicably scrambled by Felix Ravinstill makes it's way into my characterization of Felix's relationship with others... Sometimes, a near-stranger impacts you a lot, and you just have to deal with that. The amount of times that Felix is important primarily through a love and importance assigned to him by another person... Haha. Wonder what's up with that?)
#anyway i always enjoy chatting in asks!#abyssal stuff#felix ravinstill#florus friend#ask response#tumblingghosts#fic: allegory of the cave#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#characterization#<- the struggle of organizational tagging
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I have further spare Aglaya thoughts. Cannot stop thinking about how whenever Aglaya mentions her hatred towards Nina it's predicated on Nina's cruelty/disregard for others contrasted against Aglaya's lines like “To this day, I've been paying for my kind-heartedness,” “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me. Such is the bias against inquisitors. I only wish to do good; not specific, targeted good, like that Clara, but overarching good,” “I am a humanitarian. My duty is to save people, not kill them. I only condemn a few to death for the sake of the many.” That “I've been paying for my kind-heartedness” and “It's a pity that everyone sees an enemy in me” just make my heart hurt for her because I do sincerely believe her. Yes she is cruel towards Clara and deceives Daniil but I've said it before I will say it again: 1) I love Daniil so very much but *everyone* warned him not to trust her and 2) nearly every Patho character is an opportunist and/or trying to act after being dealt and incredibly shitty hand, which often results in deception and cruelty towards others. Aglaya is no different in my mind.
Also a particular detail in her dialogue which caught my eye is when she remarks that, “For a moment, I thought [Block] was driven by the same feeling that I am: a great man, when unexpectedly betrayed by the people he loves, will often seek to fill the whole universe with his blind spite. Yes, the feeling is indeed familiar...” I wonder what this refers to. My first thought is presumably Nina, but I can't quite imagine Aglaya feeling betrayed by her? It seems like they were too opposed? Like. I have no idea if I can articulate this well, but: Nina and Aglaya seem so alike yet fundamentally different that I just imagine tension would be endemic in their relationship. Also the way Aglaya characterizes her in the quote “Nina was the embodiment of absolute evil. The charming, intoxicating, beautiful evil, the evil that can drive you mad. The graceful and elegant evil that is fast to capture anyone in its web—even those who stand up to evil till the very last.” She calls Nina evil constantly. It is the lifeblood of her motivation—to destroy what her sister created. But that betrayal lines makes me think about what sort of uncomfortable love one can only have towards a family member that they fucking hate, like Aglaya does indeed think Nina is evil but also she is her (little?) sister and presumably grew up with her and I doubt Aglaya could see her as just wholly evil. That entire mess. Just compels me, particularly in how it adds another aspect to Nina.
I often think about how Nina is this object of terror and adoration more than a character in Patho Classic. Even sometimes, in my opinion, more an embodiment of utopia as Simon is for creation. Everyone close to her or who merely knew her as Mistress absolutely reveres her, perhaps even more after her death (which I think is the point, but, I digress). So to me, Aglaya and Maria have the most interesting dynamics with Nina because only through them does Nina feel more "real" to me, insofar as a character can. The dichotomy between Aglaya and Nina nicely contrasts this to me. Yes other characters allude to Nina being terrifying and so forth, but Aglaya's declarations that Nina is evil aren't accompanied by any reverence or respect or adoration that often does other characters' discussions of her. And it's yes Maria idolizes her, but as a child idealizes their parent. That is entirely separate from other characters who appear closest to Nina in Patho Classic: Victor, Andrey, and Peter, all of whom presumably had some sort of romantic attachment to her (if to various degrees and requitedness). Maria looks up to her, and in her words, “shall become her, [...] shall overcome her...” Maria interests me in that vein, that she aims to surpass her mother, and thus her idealization is necessarily different than others' who solely worship her.
I did not intend to write that much but this is what thinking about the Kaina-Lilich women does to a motherfucker. Apparently.
#what in god's name did IPL put in the kai n family that makes me feel like I got thrown in a blender for sport#patho.txt#pathologic#aglaya lilich#maria kaina#nina kaina
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/728286197798076416/ - this is me. Before tumblr the sites I hung out in are socmed sites that have a friend system and not a follow one. I got a bunch of friends through those sites forums and seeing how some people interact with their mutuals here reminded me of those times so I thought that's how they become "friends" on this site when there's no friend system (and by that I meant like an online acquaintance you'd interact with a lot and not actual friend-friend unless you two actually got close).
It's also just been at least a year since they followed back. I have interacted with their posts with mostly likes and some reblogs (sometimes with added commentary since I like their posts) but aside from a like or two when they followed back, they haven't done anything else. A random follower who hasn't liked or reblogged anything from me even from the start doesn't bother me but I've seen people here make a big deal of being "mutuals" with someone and some of them have made posts about how their mutuals are important to them/their friends which fits how they talk to their other mutuals on posts but doesn't apply to me. It's what confuses and bothers me about why they decide to follow back cause it doesn't make sense based from these stuff.
I read the replies on my original ask and I guess I really just shouldn't think much about this. It's just so strange to me so it bothers me.
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Nonnie, I was there for the whole Livejournal era, starting in 2002 before most of fandom was even on it.
I can say with certainty that calling the following function "friends" led to plenty of wank but no actual increase in how much it meant that you were a friendly acquaintance.
Some people have always used sites this way. Some just follow you because they meant to keep track of your account and go check it later. Did they actually go check it later? Questionable.
Most likely, these people talking about "mutuals" in that manner don't derive the friendship from being mutuals. They follow back people they're already friends with for other reasons. They may also be thinking only of the mutuals who talk to them a lot in ways they find amusing or notable.
One thing we cannot control is whether other people like our writing.
I get more than the usual share of replies. Some commenters stand out to me because I like how they phrase things. It's usually the people who sound like they read a wide variety of genres and as though they have a similar vibe to mine. I'll usually notice the Spanish speakers (if they mention it) because that's of interest to me, but I'll still probably only click with the ones who are pretty good at English in a way that sounds nice to my ear. Honestly, that's hard to quantify because it's different form how native someone's grammar is. I have a bunch of regular rebloggers coming from a variety of languages who are a pleasure to read despite copious grammatical errors because they're funny or sound colloquial despite that or because their content is so interesting. Some people sound stiff or convoluted despite having zero technical errors. (And that's true regardless of native language.)
If I find you painful to read for EFL reasons or bad writing skill reasons or humor that reads as tryhard instead of funny to me or excessive hostility or some other thing, we won't click.
Neither I nor the other person has any significant control over those reactions.
Now, I haven't observed your mutuals and have no idea what kinds of things you guys post, but I have observed a common pattern, both on tumblr and back in the day on LJ, where someone interacts a little but not enough and their comments are okay but nothing special. If the people they're interacting with are busy or already have a zillion friends, sometimes, they just get missed.
I also think performative posts about ~my mutuals~ tend to be hollow bragging about being popular. When they aren't, there's an implicit sense that they're talking about a particular subset of mutuals.
There's not really that much of a contradiction here. You were just taking those posts at face value, and you shouldn't.
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tinfoil hat time: the devs wanteD Sophia to be a pseudo-love interest to P but GASP, not only she is technically older than P (and even Carlo by default, she looked like a young teen when Carlo was a child) she also looks older (in the last render at least). cant have a female love interest looking, acting and behaving older than the mc, noo sire.
Uhhhhhhhhh I don't know about that one chief. First off, Romeo is definitely firmly first in the running for P's potential love interest when you take a look at their history as characters. Secondly, Sophia and P don't really have any sort of chemistry to speak of. Thirdly, and most importantly, Sophia's motivation to find P was almost entirely selfish. I don't doubt that she cared about him and wanted him to succeed for other reasons too, but she also really, really wanted to be freed from the Arche Abbey (and life itself).
That does, however, allow me to segue into another gripe about the storytelling of Lies of P. Sorry for hijacking your ask for this purpose, but its happening.
Why the hell was the MC a silent protagonist?
Actually, I know that answer. It's because Dark Souls did it, and this game wears its influences on its sleeve.
But why does it work better in Dark Souls and worse in Lies of P? Simple. In Dark Souls, the MC isn't really a character.
You see, in any Souls game, there are a couple things you can take as read from the beginning. First, the world is going to be transitioning from an age of light into an age of darkness. Second, the great heroes of the world are going to be corrupted or insane. Third, the protagonist is a mere pea sized insect trawling through the ruins of a once great civilization. These are the constants.
These constants lend themselves to a silent protagonist because the protagonist is merely a vessel for the player. They have no history. No motivations. No relationships or connections. They're merely a vehicle by which the player experiences the bygone grandeur of the world around them. In Dark Souls, you aren't a great hero or anyone of consequence, you're just the one that gets to come by and put them down after they've gone mad. Sure, your choices may affect the fate of the world, but who you are is ultimately of no consequence because you are overshadowed by what has come before you and what you represent. You're not a person in dark souls.
But in a story in which the main character is an established character with relationships and feelings, that all begins to break down. You cannot be the blank-slate player stand in and a fleshed out character at the same time. Lies of P's MC (I don't call him Pinnochio because I don't think that name is ever uttered in game) is a person with history to him. Granted, he doesn't remember most of it, and its arguable that he's a different entity from Carlo entirely, but he's still an established character with his own struggles, relationships, and so forth.
I've been rambling for a bit now, but the gist of what I'm trying to say here is that having the MC be a silent protagonist just doesn't really work when you're trying for a more character focused story. The MC isn't The Nameless Undead or some gothically titled hero of myth, he's Geppetto's puppet. His actions only have real consequence to about a dozen people (I stand by this estimation because the vast majority of Krat is dead). Having other characters talk to him and form relationships with him comes across as odd when he never talks back or voices his own thoughts or opinions on the subject. It's like they're trying to make friends with a wall, but they seem convinced that that wall has its own thoughts and opinions even though that's never actually demonstrated.
Circling back to the original Ask, I don't think that Sophia is a love interest for the MC for the same reason that I think that none of the characters were intended as love interests for the MC. Love is a two way street, and you can't have a good love story if one of the lovers doesn't talk to the other. Giving the MC a voice and his own concrete personality and character separate from the whims of the player could've made room for a love story and greater character exploration, but that's not the route they chose to take, and I'm personally of the opinion that that was the wrong move.
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Interesting head cannon.
So I have my OC/AU with something called the god of violence or death. They are basically a greater being that feeds off of the act of violence or people dying.
But it made me start thinking about other higher beings and how my higher being would interact with others.
And then I started thinking about if the other gods even represent anything.
The radiance and grim both represent dreams or something. But the radiance seems to also encourage death maybe? And giving that most people who fall into her light basically die. Or at least she revived a whole bunch of people. Taking over empty husks.
So I basically decided to try and answer if they have meanings with life and death. Probably doesn't mean anything to the actual lore of hollow Knight. But I basically tried to link certain aspects of life and death with the higher beings.
I think either Unn or The white lady represent life or growth. Basically the physical representations of the beginning of life and your body naturally growing through that life.
I think The pale King could represent living. Not so much the act of being alive or growing up old. But more so the simple aspects of living. That's why he expands and wants to stay eternal. Because living is something everybody strives to do. You can grow old, And you can be born into the world. But living is something different. The pale King is the actions of life.
I think the Radiance and Grimm can be sort of duality. As I think is the intention in game. But I'm going to separate them a little bit.
The Radiance is afterlife. Basically how a bunch of religions have a sort of afterlife. A eternal place where they can live out the rest of eternity. It's hidden in death. But it is bright. A dream. The radiance is the endless dream. The one you cannot escape but you aren't fighting to leave it.
Grimm is the memory. They feast off of the fires of Old kingdoms. They call this nightmare essence, But I think that's just a naming thing. The same with dream. Basically the nightmare is a memory. Whether it's good or bad depends. But I forgotten Kingdom is usually dead. Most kingdoms ending in tragedy. Grimm is basically feeding off of the old memories and remnants. Not quite a God of death, but a god of remembering death. Consuming it. They are the act of remembering while also forgetting.
Then we have the void. Who I think either represents a different thought of the afterlife, or simply what happens after you are forgotten. You disappear. You become nothing. While the radiance promises some sort of afterlife. The void does not. The void promises nothing. As when you die you become nothing. Especially after being forgotten. The void consumes things are forgotten or are dead and don't take in an afterlife. They are the aspect of becoming nothing after death.
And that's sort of my hot take of what the different God's represent. Like I said I don't think it actually has any merit in Hollow Knight. Given that the gods are mostly just bugs that have special powers. The radiance is maybe more than that but characters like the white lady, pale King, or Unn I'll have bodies and seem to wander around. The nightmare heart and the radiance are the only ones that stand out from this. So they might be a bit more godly than the others. So they hold more mystic God magic.
But I think it's an interesting idea nonetheless. Hope you all find it interesting too.
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CONTINUE FROM [ x ] @twiicetheheart
AS THE VAMPIRE LORD SETS HIS GAZE upon the young woman before him, he cannot help but be taken aback by the beauty that she possesses. Her face is a vision of purity, and her voice is just as lovely as her appearance. It's a CRUEL TWIST of fate that such a perfect human should be everything that his kind is against. Despite this, he finds HIMSELF UNABLE TO RESIST the desire to keep her for himself. He can feel the power of his fangs pulsing through his veins, and the thought of claiming what should rightfully belong to him is almost too much to bear. A light chuckle escapes him, baring his sharp teeth for all to see. THE SIGHT OF THOSE COWERING behind her, trembling with fear and refusing to meet his eyes, only serves to amuse him.
The Vampire Lord steps closer to the blonde beauty, towering over her and making himself comfortable in her personal space. He can hear her heart beating fast, and he knows that she is afraid, but he cannot help but be DRAWN TO HER. He entwines his hands behind his back, relishing the power he holds over her. As he looks into her eyes, he can see the fear and uncertainty that lies within. He knows he could take her without a second thought, but for now, he is content to simply revel in his power over her. Negan is a force to be reckoned with, and at this moment, he knows that he is in COMPLETE CONTROL.
He can hear the BEATING OF HER HEART and it's like MUSIC to his ears. Though it beats rapidly, as if it might burst from her chest at any moment, he admires her bravery. She is the only one who refuses to hide from him, standing out in a way he has never seen before. Centuries upon centuries... not one of them dared to confront him. Even the men who claim to be the protectors of this community shiver in terror. LAUGHABLE really.
Negan leaned his head closer to her, eyeing her carefully as he slowly moved without so much of a rush. HER SCENT overtakes him, his lips brushing against her ear as he speaks in a hushed tone. " You're the only one not hidin' from me darlin'... what's that tell you, hm ? Look at your people behind you as they hide as if that could protect them from my wrath. None even come to join you, to stand with you... tsk, a shame how easily they'll sacrifice their own kind for their safety. "
Humans aren't threats. No, they are just dinner to his monsters or playthings for when they are bored. But this one ? Oh--- he can't quite put his finger on this one, but he's enjoying her a little too much. THE KING OF DARKNESS catches a whiff of her, breathing her in and letting out a sigh. He stands up straight before her once more, not once does he break eye contact with her, nor does he want to as she is far too interesting.
REACHING TO TUCK A BLONDE CURL BEHIND HER EAR, letting sharp nails scrap gently against the softness of her skin, taking in her features, the beauty that she holds is unlike any other---- oh, this is going to be fun. Eyes flickering towards the crowd watching them. Negan clears his throat, and snaps his finger twice--- which should be enough to hold their attention. " Listen up motherfuckers since I'm feeling quite generous today... I ain't gonna kill any of yeh' !---- in fact, I might even change our lil' agreement... I won't kill any of you... ever... again.. " He hears a collection of sobs let out, some of the folks clinging to each other, muttering a ' thank god ' ---- he scoffs, thank god ? What did GOD have to do with any of this ? He continues on, getting to the good part. " -- ONLY IF this pretty thing agrees to come back with me. "
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I find it hilarious that ASOIAF fans are just soooo into the "willful" female characters who aren't "Subservient to the Patriarchy(tm)" but the minute Catelyn decides to be a little "willful" herself and basically decides that she will feed, house, and cloth Jon as per her husband's request, but won't mother him beyond that all of a sudden she's this evil demon that is the Worst Person Ever? I thought we loved the bratty willful types that don't want to fulfill their patriarchal duties? Like people in this fandom shit on traditionally feminine characters who don't fight gender norms (lmao) but Catelyn was supposed to just sit their and take the utter humiliation of Ned not only bringing home his presumed bastard son but then telling Cat she had to raise him among her trueborn children (which is something that is never done for the most obvious reasons).
Pretty sure the logic is that Catelyn is obligated to sublimate her own interest within their society for the benefit of a “fellow victim”, whose victimization “trumps” hers because he is a child. Even if her “morally correct” action of making Jon feel welcome essentially takes the form of completely submitting to patriarchy because it ultimately benefits the patriarch himself the most for her to more than tolerate Jon’s presence. No interpersonal conflict bothers Ned’s peace of mind, and when it doubt one of his own children inherits in any case. Good job, saintly wife.
There is no way Catelyn can try to benefit herself that won’t see her condemned in some way, because their society pits her against a child very deliberately. There is no way to stand up for herself that doesn’t materially worsen her situation. You cannot be “willful” here in a way that harms patriarchy more than it harms you or your kids, the system always wins.
People can’t grasp that GRRM is critiquing the patriarchy precisely by showing us a catch 22. There is no “correct” path here for Catelyn, nor for Jon. It’s either self-denial or infringing on someone else’s legitimate self-interest - you have to be a saint or you’re a moral failure. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature of the concept of bastardy. It removes the burden of consequences from the patriarch.
The only ones who defy patriarchy in this aspect are people like the Mormont ladies, who let the line of succession continue through the maternal line with nary a husband in sight. And they do it with the - as of now unexplained (!) - tolerance or blessing of their society. Probably because Bear Island is both strategically important in repelling the ironborn and because it’s not the most attractive place to try and send someone who’s not a local. And only after the male line was unexpectedly erased by Jeor taking the black before Jorah abandoned ship fleeing the law. And because the Mormont ladies are masculine-coded by default, being warriors themselves. A special case that is treated as an exception by their still very very very patriarchal society.
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This might be too much of a deep thought considering it's 10 in the morning and I only rolled out of bed but I've noticed the oddest thing. When I used to write stories 10 years ago people were so much more empathetic than they are now - like, it's only because I went away for some time and have come back recently to put my work out there again that I've noticed the trend.
Like, maybe it's the nature of my new work or whatever, but some people seem unable or unwilling to empathize with characters that aren't exactly like them. It's as though they feel slightly threatened by someone who might challenge their worldview.
Some people insert themselves really intensely into the story, and get kind of outraged (?) when characters make decisions that they wouldn't. I find it interesting, and I wonder if it's indicative of our current society & its division.
Also, during commenting sessions I've realised that some people are completely unwilling to be disagreed with - as though they cannot stand for their opinion to be challenged.
Am I just making this up or have any other writers found the same?
for the record I am not talking about my lovely anons who always leave my fave comments in my inbox
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I cannot stand the way that stand-up comedians have managed to convince themselves that they're public intellectuals in some way, like they're legitimate thought leaders. They will point and gesture and cry profound tears at George Carlin as the ultimate example of comedy being about being edgy and pushing boundaries and being controversial, but these podcasters don't tell any fucking jokes. They just talk at you, or invite some other oaf to talk at you and wax poetic and jerk off about how important they are. Should they actually make a joke, and it's not immediately met with the laughs these performers are owed, they immediately revert to some combination of the woke mob not being able to handle their cutting edge material and how comedians are just simple clowns that you should point and laugh at, it's just a joke, there's no need to think so deeply about a funny joke.
Like, it's so insane to me that Dave Chappelle can have an entire special where, over the course of that entire hour plus runtime, he will tell you like five jokes. The rest of that time will be a response to a response to his response to a response to his most recent controversy. The worst part is that Dave Chappelle is probably the best among this group! All five of those jokes will most likely be very funny, and when he's not rambling about things he doesn't know anything about, like trans people, he's actually a pretty engaging speaker. He's well-spoken, and can offer some interesting perspectives, only provided he feels the need to speak on something he knows literally anything about at all, and he doesn't have a fuckin' podcast.
The rest of them are usually so much worse, there is nothing I loathe more than the dipshit podcaster who views himself this way. Just, legitimately the dumbest person you can possibly imagine who views himself as a leader in free thought and intellectualism because they continuously platform incendiary conservative political guests. Donald Trump, Gavin McInnes, Candice Owens, Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, just whatever series of horrible book-learned ghouls these people can invite to sap an audience from their platform. Can you imagine a world where Joe Rogan is a legitimate political force because thousands of people tune in to watch Jordan Peterson scratch the alphabet into the walls of his enclosure? Where a metrosexual homophobe can just, be racist on stage at a campaign event and call it a bit? One of these guys built a career off of talking to comedians, and the other built theirs off of being needlessly cruel in judging the comedy of others, but neither of them are funny. Joe Rogan doesn't tell any fucking jokes, Joe Rogan is funny in the way a child falling down is funny. He's silly, and you laugh at him because he's goofy and doesn't actually know any better, but he doesn't tell any jokes. Joe Rogan is the joke. Yet still, him and the other guy, and dozens of other middling and/or ageing comedian will consider themselves among the all time greats of comedy, declared only by themselves and their most frequent podcast guests, because they can score an endless stream of interviews with neo-nazis and fascists to come talk to them. They can smile and nod and clap their hands while they're informed, and their inflated audience of manosphere types and crypto geeks are informed, about the Great Replacement theory. Or maybe it's because they can talk at length about why they don't perform at college campuses anymore, or why trans people are annoying on the internet, or how you just aren't allowed to say anything anymore. But it's not because they tell any jokes.
I would legitimately watch Bert Kreischer's stool-humping/pant-shitting routine 30 times over any of these worthless hack comedians, because he's at least attempting to tell jokes. Comedians need to tell more fucking jokes.
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