#like there's a difference between regular 'hi it's been a while. everything still fine?' etc.

[heartshattering]

Wish my friend could just send a message like "Hope things have been going okay" or whatever instead of "Where have you been? Where did you go? Why aren't you talking to me? WHAT HAPPENED???" etc.

[dichromaticdyke]

i can't stop thinking about how nathan was obsessing over magnus almost as much as he was obsessing over abigail. abigail he lost because he grossly misinterpreted their relationship and pushed way too far with her. but magnus he lost because magnus was an abusive piece of shit who valued revenge above all else.

but nathan almost sees them as equivalent. he sees them as people in his life who were greatly important to him, but who didn't feel the same way toward him. abigail didn't harbor romantic feelings towards nathan, and magnus was willing to throw their friendship/brotherhood away in the name of revenge.

i think again to what nathan said when murderface lamented being "no better than magnus." nathan said that the difference between magnus and murderface was that murderface gave them the chance to forgive him while magnus didn't. nathan is implying that he would've forgiven magnus (or at least would've been open to the idea) had magnus actually apologized and tried to do better.

and then when he's looking at the names of everyone who had "abandoned" him and he's telling them to come back and fight with him, magnus is included on that list. magnus is included on that list. god it makes me fucking sick. as pickles points out, everyone on that list isn't someone who abandoned nathan, but someone who nathan pushed away. but that's not true with magnus, is it? i mean, kind of, in the sense that nathan kicked him out of the band, but he only did that because magnus verbally abused the band and then stabbed him. but nathan still feels like he was abandoned by magnus, and then he feels like he was the reason magnus left. he said the same thing to magnus as he did to abigail, to his family, his band, his fans—"come back." as much as nathan tries to act like he doesn't care about his friends or anyone else, he does. he desperately does, even those that literally stab him in the back.

we see this first with him acting like his family is cringe and normie and they are, but he also fucking loves them. he pals around with his dad on the regular, and when he's feeling desperate and scared, the first thing he does is call them. and then he breaks his own rule about not caring about any of the band members by showing concern and care for toki about his drinking problem in "black fire upon us." and he continues to start to be more open to expressing his care towards his band members and friends and loved ones. there are a lot of examples we could go through here, but this is long enough as it is and i still have more to say.

i've been thinking about how he shuts other people out as a trauma response despite desperately needing others in his life. he watched his entire 2nd grade class die horrifically, and i think that was the catalyst there, the thing that made him start refusing to get close to anyone. something horrible can happen to those you care about at any moment, don't get too close. he starts dethklok, and his defenses lower a bit, he starts to grow close to his new band, and then magnus literally stabs him in the back. once again, as a trauma response, he shuts down. he puts in the rule that band members don't take an interest in each other. he's already close with pickles, skwisgaar, and murderface, so by the time toki joins, he just doesn't let himself get close—he forgets he exists sometimes, leaves him behind, etc. but again, that wall starts to chip away, by the time "dethcamp" comes around he starts treating him like his kid, getting him gifts, taking care of his room, driving to get him in the middle of the night when he fears he's in trouble.

and then toki gets kidnapped. and it happened again, he let himself get too close. he parties around the world with dethklok, tries to act like everything's normal and fine, oh no we don't miss people we hardly notice that they're gone. he refuses to try to help him because at this point he's all but completely shut down emotionally, and it takes external pressure to snap him (and the rest of the band) out of that mindset. and that pressure is the reminder that they can't shut each other out, that toki is important to the band, that toki is their brother. and bringing all that back to magnus, nathan is the one left with the guilt that he didn't get the chance to have with magnus what he now has with toki and the rest of dethklok. whether he blames himself or magnus or both is unclear to me but all this is still so tragic.

fuck magnus, obviously. but damn nathan really needed closure with him.

[rubykgrant]

Hnnnnnnngggggg I'm so in love with Poppy I want to know so much about her, sexuality, gender, interactions with all different characters in and outside the Blood Gulch Crew, weapon preference, vehicle if any, just everything omgomgomg she's so pretty and cute and hot omg hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Haha thank you~

Poppy started off as like... a couple different vague ideas for different characters? Then I really began to refine them more, and it all combined into Poppy. I have a lot of fun with thinking about her interactions with the main group of characters; she meets Sarge first, when he's asked to lead a "special training program", and he immediately likes her because she back-talks all the time (Sarge claims to want soldiers that always follow his orders, but a being rebellious is actually much more impressive... and it helps him realize this training program is Not Good. Papa Warcrimes doesn't trust the military anymore? A sign of the apocalypse! It also makes him realize how much he misses his Red boys and the Blues... the fact that they weren't "perfect soldiers" was a GOOD thing, and the way Carolina, Wash, and Locus got chewed up and spit out is also standing out in his mind).

While the training is still going on, Tucker shows up to give an example of Freelancer techniques (Sarge initially asked for Wash or Carolina, but they're busy; Wash is looking for the Triplets, and Carolina is digging up info on Hargrove. Tucker jumped in saying HE'S had Freellancer training, he basically IS a Freelancer, let him help!). Tucker wanted to make an impressive entrance, arriving early to surprise everybody... but after his ship left, he fell down a hill. Luckily, the only one around to see was Poppy, who helped him up and promises not to tell everybody he ate dirt. When she introduces herself using her first name, Tucker kinda pauses for a moment before answering with his- Lavernius (so, rather than coming in like the Impressive honorary Freelancer Hero with the Cool Laser Sword, Tucker and Poppy first meet and are just. Regular friends. Which is nice~). When some of the training actually starts, Poppy plays it up like- "Oh, hello Captain Tucker, nice to meet you", and it's just a big inside joke between them

When Sarge eventually decides to just destroy this whole whole program, he brings Poppy with him- "Look everybody! We got a new Red!". Simmons is IMMEDIATELY ready to utterly HATE her. Sarge is giving her attention? Kill/death/die/murder/destroy... but then she says- "Sarge told me you like Star Wars. Did you ever watch the Ewoks cartoon? My favorite character is Wicket" and that just defuses him. Simmons brain decides- Oh, sibling? Sibling! Seriously, Simmons rarely gets to make a new friend like some of the other characters do, and I thought it would be very funny if he thought he was gonna hate Poppy, but nope! They get along just fine, and Simmons has a friend. Also, new people often tend to gravitate toward Blue Team (Carolina is arguably not ON any team, but she's friends with Wash and shares a connection to Church, so she's kinda just. Over there. Doc is not specifically ON either team as well, but because he's close with Donut, he's kinda-sorta unofficially over there haha). So, Locus and Poppy are the new Reds!

Part of her backstory involves Poppy once being assigned to a group of Flag Zealot Reds and Blues; she was supposed to be the person who determined if they needed more supplies/weapons, etc. Fpr whatever reason, these guys were all on a first-name basis. Red Team had Jed, Ted, and Fred. Blue Team had Hue, Drew, and Lou. So, Poppy has been in the habit of using her first name rather than last names like the Blood Gulch crew. When her Reds and Blues ran out of ammo, they just started harmlessly pranking each other, which Poppy thought was better than ACTUAL lethal fighting, so she just never ordered more. Both teams decided they all liked Poppy, and so she was never the target of any fighting (if anything, they only fought over who liked her more). It was loud, and stupid, and annoying... Poppy loved these guys. One day, an old and forgotten mine that had been buried went off, and Poppy rushed in to save the guys. She got injured in the process, and while she was unconscious/recovering... somebody from Temple's group came by to try and recruit more Flag Zealots. Hue, Drew, Lou, Jed, Ted, and Fred refused to join. When Poppy woke up, her Reds and Blues had been killed (the a-hole that did it turned out to be Gene. Not only does Poppy find a new home with the Blood Gulch Reds and Blues, but it is extra meaningful, because when everybody runs into Gene again, she doesn't get the so-called "similarity" between him and Simmons- Gene sucks, and Simmons doesn't piss her off)

The illustration I did of Poppy with traditional art shows her before she got injured helping her own Reds and Blues; after that incident, she actually had to get a cyborg prosthetic arm (again, she mirrors Simmons in a lot of ways). When everybody finally meets her, she's about 32 years old, but thanks to being a little short with rounded features, she looks a bit younger. Her main armor color is white, with accents of tan (if I could get a little artistic about it, I'd call it dusty-rose). The armor of her shoulders/arms looks a bit like Florida's during his Freelancer days (I just like the design of it, and it would help her look different from other characters who previously had white armor... also, with her armor being white, Red Team truly is the Lesbian Flag haha). She's trans, and chose the name of a flower because she "picked it herself"~ Poppy has a calm yet sarcastic personality, with a raging inferno of a temper once somebody ticks her off. A very go-with-the-flow attitude, somebody who can be comforting and encouraging. She feels her painful emotions VERY deeply, and freely cries when upset (or lets somebody feel the wrath of her temper once she finally reaches a breaking point). Poppy has been through a lot, but is fully aware of her own physical abilities; she's strong, sturdy, and a capable fight (maybe not very fast, but hard to knock down, even harder to keep down). One of her skills is messing with audio communication, and her favorite trick is to play annoying songs as a distraction

[outer-edges]

so one of my many inexplicable fic icks for the last of us is whenever there's a fic that just likely completely ignores everything about the finale and just goes along with a whole “happily ever after in jackson” thing.

i've never really been able to pinpoint a specific reason, but i think its because even if you ignore the fact that it is so insane to just remove the entirety of their experience with the fireflies and make them live happily ever after. they just…won’t…like it’s not going to be happily ever after for them because joel IS NOT ellie’s dad, and that’s not an emotional framework she even has. like dad doesn’t mean anything to her. to her, joel is her best friend. joel is family. joel is hers. she’s his. they belong like all that shit riley talked about with her family. but being a daughter and having a father isn’t something ellie even understands to fit herself into. her only experience with quote unquote “fatherhood” is david, and to him that meant disgusting control exerted over her. i think that entire experience probably gave her an extremely complicated relationship with the concept of father's in and of itself. so, even if she has this father-daughter type relationship with joel, that's not how she's ever going to associate him.

so, to her, joel is just joel. she loves him and cares for him deeply and he’s hers and she’s his, but he’s still just joel. he isn’t dad. he won’t ever be dad.

but to him, ellie isn’t just ellie. ellie is daughter.

daughter and dad is a very different dynamic than just inexplicably connected family. joel is going to exert a certain amount of control over her life, the kind that is perfectly healthy for parents to have, but she’s not going to accept it, and that’s going to cause problems for them. because it’ll be different than when they were on the road. then, everything joel did was to keep her safe. then he ordered her to do things like check her six and stay quiet and go hide while he takes care of business.

in jackson, in regular life, it’s going to be different. it’s going to be things like bedtimes and going to school and curfew and shit that ellie will reject because of her previous experience with it (FEDRA, david, etc). like this cognitive dissonance between them is going to cause problems. even though they care about each other just as much, they aren't really on the same page when it comes to what they are to each other.

that’s what they’re going to work through. those are conflicts they would face even if they do get happily ever after. which, that isn't something really see anyone working through, and the absence of it rubs me the wrong way in ways i can't really explain. i think it's because this cognitive dissonance is something that would cause such a big strain on their relationship. even if everything went perfectly fine with the fireflies, or whatever, they still would have interpersonal conflict. it isn’t just ellie’s nightmares that are solved by platonic cuddling. their monsters are much closer to the heart than that.

she’s not his daughter. and he sure as hell ain’t her dad. but they’re going to figure it out anyway.

[knowlesian]

fuck it i want to talk about the kiss.

because this kiss is perfect. absolutely perfect.

regardless of the exact level of experience these two actually have with the mechanics of kissing (and i would guess it’s not much), kissing like this is new to both of them.

stede has been accidentally giving ed an entire ocean of mixed signals. because this say fellas, is it gay when involves a list of things like ‘leans in close and treats you kindly and wears your pants and so desperately wants to make you happy and offers to co-captain a ship’ as well as ‘picks up zero hints, does not seem to be aware of the way you want to kiss him, there’s some chick named mary up in this, fuckin for REAL is he gay or from new zealand???? i cannot fucking measure this ratio, it’s so weird’ & etc

so ed has been making aborted moonlight leans and being like STAB ME! THE STABBING IS A METAPHOR! PLEASE WOULD YOU GET WITH THIS, MY THIRST IS INTENSE and staring at stede like he’s made entirely out of red silk handkerchiefs, etc.

and now that the shit has truly hit the fan ed finally, finally, is like. fuck it. here we are, alone on a beach together, my beard is gone and your ship is gone and everything is fucked up, but just being with you makes me happy. 

literally at this point why not? worst case, stede clarifies that ed has been misreading the feelings building between them. 

(it must be said because thinking it hurts and i am nothing but generous with sharing the pain: that he misread stede like he misread the party at first, because the rules of the social road ed learned require a whole different set of skills than stede learned in his fancy world of melon spoons and tureens.) 

ed knows that if stede rejects him, he can always skip out to nurse his wounds alone. this is a perfect fuck it, shooting my shot moment.

so he pushes past the false start where he gets derailed by turtles and toes (and neatly sets up the finale at the same time, i love good writing i really do) and just lays it all out. right now, he doesn’t want to curve to fit around the spaces somebody else wants him to fill: he wants to do what makes ed happy.

and then because stede is at his core so fucking kind, he comes through in the clutch here and says the exact right thing once again, just like he did when he told ed he wore fine things well. there are a lot of responses stede could give here that would be... fine, or terrible, but this is the perfect one.

what makes ed happy means: i care what makes you happy. i might even want to be the one making you happy, on a longterm and regular basis. 

it also means: i’m not going to staple my narrow, not you-approved idea of what makes you happy on your face and then get pissed when you’re not 100% into it, because that is a clear pattern in your life.

literally the best and most beautiful thing stede could have said. unerringly hitting the heart of the things ed wants most, and totally on accident.

and then ed delivers the favor in kind, finishing it off with the absolute perfect thing he could say to stede, slowly because hooooly shit this is much scarier than getting stabbed and also totally on accident: stede makes him happy.

not just the fun they’ve had together, or the access to shared fancy pants and plans to match. just stede, existing in the world at all, and being by ed’s side.

which implies, even in these much less pleasant circumstances stede makes him happy. (and the unthinkable thought: if stede makes ed happy when things are generally not going well, maybe ed could still feel that way even if stede himself makes him unhappy once in a while.

you know: like how people are when they say they love you and they mean it.)

so stede bluescreens a bit because this is the first compliment of his life on this calibre and also he has no idea what to say to that, since he’s never heard it before! literally nobody has been like: hey stede. the fact that you’re in the world is very cool. you yourself are a net positive, and you make me happy just by existing.

AND THEN. THE FUCK IT TIPPING POINT. SHE IS HERE.

it’s not a teenage first date thing, though the vibes aren’t far off: but these are two men who just heard and said the thing the other most wanted to hear.

what makes you happy, ed? / what makes ed happy is you.

they both emphasize the other in that moment; they both receive everything they’ve ever wanted. 

(also it’s just some super fun wordplay. hate this team.)

anyway: the best slightly awkward but incredibly perfect first kiss.

i love that neither of them are in the perfect position for this; i love that stede is 100% not prepared and ed has to shift to keep it going and drops his hand slowly to the middle of stede’s back while he raises the other to touch his neck, and his FINGERS BRUSH STEDE’S THROAT which, fuck that. throats are vulnerable; thin skin, jugulars, the place where the pulse beats, etc. vampires like throats, weird serial killers like throats, lovers like throats. it’s all very metaphors gone wild and tender, because you have to feel pretty safe to let somebody touch your throat on purpose. 

anyway: i love stede’s little ‘mmph!’ sound, it’s all just so fucking perfect. 

and then ed cups stede’s face and i want to gnaw on SHEET METAL and he KEEPS IT THERE? KEEPS IT THERE. ���your hand on my chest is my hand” style? look. i just. i hate the little details each of the actors on this stupid mean to me show emphasizes. the physicality of this cast is fucking insane and it makes me want to go full red stringboard doing a rewatch for each character and only paying attention to what they’re doing so i can really appreciate all these ridiculously talented people.

this show ruined my life, news at eleven, i will never think about anything else.

so yeah! ed is STILL CRADLING STEDE’S JAW stede is saying you make stede happy, i am throwing my fucking tv out the window, etc.

aaaaand then they start making the kind of plans that don’t have great longterm feasibility and the narrative starts to get the road ready for chauncey to royally fuck things up for everybody-slash-probably make things better in the long run but turns out we do not, in fact, have to hand it to chauncey for derailing a plan that would eventually have led to things going sour and then i cry, but that’s for the recaps etc.

[honeyabyss]

Different ways to say I Love You (minus Luke)

Lucifer:

Lucifer isn't the best at saying what he actually feels due to his pride getting in the way, but he makes it up with small gestures

he is very observant and often knows what you need before you know it

putting on the fireplace in his study when he notices you start to rub your hands or shift your legs to warm them subconsciously

refilling your cup/glass while he pours something himself

"You should have dressed better, I can see you're shivering..."

his snarky side comments might sound like he's annoyed, but he actually cares and worries

he will most definitely put his cloak around your shoulders and keep you close to him with a hand on your waist

he's conflicted between staying subtle and showing you off all the time

"Aren't they looking amazing today? Haven't you stared enough yet? You're making them uncomfortable!"

when you're in private he becomes more open and affectionate, but still tries to play it down

him moving with his work away from his work desk to the small coffee table, sitting side by side with you, just to have you close

when he's feeling stressed he tends to intertwine his fingers with yours, seeking the comfort and familiarity of you

Lucifer tries to give you the same he feels when he is with you comfort, peace, a place to hide from the rest of the world

"You are my save haven! I don't always have to be at my best when I'm with you!"

Mammon:

"Hey! Look what I've brought you home. Ain't I the best?!"

small gifts are a regular occurrence with the Avatar of Greed, which don't always have to be the most expensive, extraordinary or thoughtful ones

"I was on the way home when I saw this and thought of you...you needed this right?"

it could have been the most ridiculous thing like a single paperclip, but he'd be so proud to have noticed and remembered you were having troubles organizing your papers yesterday

him being a tsundere makes it hard for him to openly admit or show his love for you sometimes, his thoughts are full of you and he is constantly complementing you and how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss...but actually vocalizing or holding and kissing you seems to be way harder

though that doesn't hold him off to keep you close and hold hands in front of others, you're his human and everyone shall know, you're his and his alone, they'd be mad to try and steal you away

as his sin is Greed, hoarding stuff happens often, most of the times he sells them to be able to get money, but every single thing you'll give him will hold a special meaning in his heart, will show off your gifts to brag

but material love isn't the only thing he can give, he'll also gladly give you all his time

he'll randomly invite you to go take a drive with him, just get in the car and go, no set destination, just Mammon and you away from his brothers and all the others

when you're alone he'd still be nervous, but cuddling will happen a lot, though he is always blushing a bright red

"If I could choose to have one treasure in my whole life, I'd choose to only treasure you!"

Leviathan:

being the Avatar of Envy, he is quick to loose his temper when you're talking or even dare touch other people, he'd be rather alone with you, but that doesn't always work, so being open and mindful about his sin is a must

"Soo what did you two talk about? Not that I mind...but you can also talk about everything with me, you know that right?"

he knows that his social skills aren't the best and that he doesn't know about to many normie topics, but he'll try his best to listen to you and come up with responses and ways to keep the conversation going

he wants to make sure you know he loves you so badly, but all he knows about love is from animes or games, so he often tries to recreate romantic scenes only to get thoroughly embarrassed

"d-d-don't laugh! This i-i supposed to be ro-romantic...."

he tries to keep you close to him as much as he can when you're outside

he knows how anxiety inducing it can be for him, when someone suddenly touches him, so he always asks you first, as embarrassing it is to ask you to hold hands or kiss, he feels better knowing you want this too

when he is playing his games, he dislikes it when you disappear out of his vision, wanting to make sure you're still there and letting you know he hasn't forgotten about you even though he is currently concentration on his gaming, he'll keep you in his lap with a furious blush on his cheeks and he might see the game over screen more often but it's definitely worth it

"You make me overcome my weaknesses, just give me time and I'll make you happy!

Satan:

"The weather is nice...do you want to take a walk with me?"

Satan enjoys spending his time with you in any way possible, a simple walk, reading sessions, visiting your favourite places, discovering new cafés, exploring galleries and museums, as long as you're around he is open to try anything

lazing around in his room cuddled up next to you with a good book will stays his favourite though, he has you for himself and it feels reassuring to know you stay with him even on the normal and eventless days

Satan isn't too handsy, but he does keep your hand in his wherever the two of you are, even if you only making your way to the kitchen, he is not exactly jealous just happy to call you his and show it

the subtle intimacy of handholding speaks volumes to him, to others it may seem like the most ordinary couple thing, but he likes to experiment and if his stupid idea of only holding 2 fingers makes you laugh then it was a full success to him

no matter how much control over his sin he has sometimes he breaks too, after getting out all his anger, he tends to be exhausted and feels vulnerable, he'll just sit down with your hands intertwined and his head resting on your shoulder, seeking comfort and affection

"Have you smiled yet? I smile every time I think of you!"

Satan will leave small notes to make your day or send you messages on your DDD when he can't be around you

"Did I ever tell you that you feel like home to me? I hope I can be your home as well!"

Asmodeus:

so many praises and compliments, like you can just sit there looking at your phone and Asmo just coos

"You look sooo pretty!~ let's take a picture together to remember this moment!"

he will take a lot of pictures of you and him, just to look at for himself when he misses you, to show off to his brothers and Solomon, or to the whole Devildom through posting it on Devilgram

he simply enjoys to look at you, though it always ends in a warm hug , kisses and praises

he may not be very poetic or thoughtful with his touches, but he always gives it his all, some feelings he just can't describe in words so he just holds you close to show you his feelings

spa days, shopping tours and going into the club happen often, though he understands if you're not up to it some times, but he will whine and demand to spend you day differently with him

he can't help it he wants to spoil you and show you off, he's is almost never jealous, rather proud even when someone flirts with you, that doesn't mean he'll give you away

"Come here, let me just hold you. You fit perfectly into my arms..."

as the Avatar of Lust, physical touch means a lot to him, not only in the sexual way, but most in importantly in the way of craving affection, he wants to be hold and to hold you, give him all your attention and he'll be happy

"Thank you for staying and accepting me!"

Beelzebub:

sleepily walking through the hallways into the kitchen to keep Beel company while he has his midnight snack and just sitting next to him talking about your day

"Thank you for staying awake with me, do you want me to get you food as well?"

with Gluttony as his sin, food is big part of his daily life, but he doesn't just eat to satisfy his hunger, but also because he enjoys the food, no matter how hungry he is, he'll offer you even the last piece to make you happy

sharing new food and old favourites of his alike, Beel likes to share his food with you, as he feels less hungry in your company anyway

seeing you happy and full makes him happy and full as well, so he puts you first most of the times, letting you choose what you want and going along with your preferences

"Anything is fine with me, you can choose for us."

Beel is also very active, playing Fangol, training and etc, he often invites you to train with him or tries to teach you new stuff, if you don't want too that's fine as well, you can watch and he may try to impress you a little bit, but he won't train much when you're around wanting to rather spend time with you

bear hugs. just you walking basically anywhere and Beel suddenly hugs you tight against his chest, nuzzling your face and having a huge grin plastered on his face

his affectionate hugs and kisses come out of nothing, surprising but welcome, some times he forgets his strength and you'll have to remind him, he'll hold you very carefully then asking if this okay

"I feel complete with you, so just stay by my side!"

Belphegor:

"Lay down with me, I nap better with you at my side!"

obviously nap time with lots of cuddling, he just drapes himself over you, holding you close and sharing his warmth with you...if you're lucky you'll even get a small goodnight kiss, but only if he's in the mood

Belphie is a bit too straightforward with his words and sometimes ends up being a bit mean when he doesn't really want to, so in crucial moments with you he tends to become quiet and seek out to hold and hopefully show you his feelings

Belphie isn't handsy but he loves to cuddle, he may not always hold your hand when taking a walk but as soon as you two sit down he'll hug you close without saying a word

when he finds you sleeping somewhere without him, he is a bit hurt at first but he recovers quick, he'll make sure you're resting comfortably, the pillow is soft enough and that the blanket keeps you warm, even going to the length to bring you his own blanket if fell asleep anywhere but you're room, without a doubt he'll feel tired after taking care of you and will fall asleep right next to you

"Sleeping without me...unbelievable...I'll just have to squish myself next to you then.."

his other passion stargazing always ends up with him hugging you and telling you about the different constellations and it's stories until you fall asleep...only when he is sure you're dreaming he dares to run his fingers through you hair and lowly hum a lullaby into the otherwise silent night

"Let's dream our life together and promise to make it true one day!"

Diavolo:

as the prince of Hell, Diavolo only ever knew people who treated him with respect, always leaving him to feel lonely and out of place, but then you came and you weren't scared neither did you treat him like a prince, you made him your friend and soon more

with you he feels finally complete and he tries to show you his appreciation and affection any free moment of his time

he'd buy you anything you want not caring about the price, but please tell him that a small and thoughtful gift makes you just as happy as anything else

being with you always has him giddy and bursting with love, he can't hold back and will shower you in attention or at least watch you do your thing

"You're looking radiant my love! I can't believe you're mine!"

similar to Beel he has these affection attacks where he'll just suddenly have the urge to hug you and shower you in kisses

being prince requires a lot of paper work, which he dislikes, when you're around he'll indulge himself in a few more breaks than he should, ending in him having to work overtime much to his dismay

"Will you stay up waiting for me at home?"

He knows it's a selfish thought, but he loves the feeling of coming home to you and getting greeted, he feels at peace when you're there and wait for him

"I'll never have to feel lonely again, when I have you!"

Barbatos:

as a butler time isn't something he has much of, so he some times feels like he can't give you enough, he'll try to meet as often as possible but often it's only for an hour or so a day

"Do you need anything else? More tea? Anything?"

He'll probably be stuck in his butler role and try to serve, completely disregarding himself, just grab him and make him sit down

Barb isn't used to physical touch and feels less comfortable to hold you in public, handholding is the maximum for him, he probably needs some time to get used to the more affectionate things

but when in private gentle touches, soft hugs and small kisses are his thing, just small reassuring stuff while you two relax and talk about daily life

he is more of a listener and he enjoys listening to your voice, it's one of his comfort things, hearing your voice means you're safe and that helps him keep calm a lot...he may not show it, but on the inside he is always worried for you living in between demons, he's on of them he knows how dangerous it can get

phone calls while he works happen more and more often as your relationship progresses, the need to see you gets stronger, but he can't just leave work, so you'll talk over the phone

"I missed you so I had to call. How is your day?"

night-time is his favourite, no work, no on watchers, just you two and your love for each other, if only it could be always like this

"One minute with you feels like eternal bliss, imagine our happiness if you'd stay with me forever!"

Solomon:

Solomon has watched many people die in his life, so he got used to not getting attached too much, falling in love with you wasn't planned, but he can't help feeling clingy with you now

he'd play it down, aloof as he always seems, but on the inside he is screaming at you to not go at the end of the day, just one more hug, one more kiss, maybe stay over the night?

he'd never say it out loud and every time he does say something affectionate something teasing or a 'just kidding' follows, scared he might seem too clingy

"You're my everything, without you I feel like I'm suffocating...just a joke I'm breathing fine, see?"

he's always touching you in some way, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, his hand on your waist, back or knee, whatever he just wants to feel the warmth of your skin telling him you're still there

he has lived through so many human lifetimes and experienced so much, he's happy to share all the good stuff with you and show you the most wondersome places in all three realms

the bad stuff though he keeps to himself, guides you away and hopes you'll never experience it

"Hey! Surprise I was close by and I thought we could take a walk?"

Solomon loves spending his time with you in whatever way, just whisk him away to whatever activity you'd like, surprise dates are his favourite, he doesn't want to plan out his whole life

"Now is my favourite moment with you. Why? Because I'm with you!"

Simeon:

Simeon as an author has his way with words, being able to spin them just right so every moment will become perfect, but he's more used to writing than talking and he'll use that to his advantage

"Even in the darkest of nights, your beauty lightens the room!"

expect love letter, sweet notes and poems written by him, hidden your schoolwork, waiting for you on your desk in RAD, on your pillow at HoL, anywhere he can sneak them to he will

and trust me he'll get so happy when he finds out you kept every single one of his writings

he also loves cuddles but only in private, in public he'll restrain himself to simple handholding or guiding you through the streets with your arms linked together

he enjoys to spoil you with attention, doing whatever you want, often it leads to cooking where as Luke likes to join in too, long walks, reading sessions, late night movies and cuddles, or even just long conversations about everything and anything you two can think of

"My lamb, may you come over and help a poor author who has lost his inspiration to write?"

when he is stuck with his writings he likes to take a break with you and hold you tight in his arms listening to your suggestions until he feels inspired again, no pressure though he can keep writing any time he doesn't have to come up with something on the spot, just distracting him for a bit works too

"I may have found paradise in your arms tonight, do you think your heart may be so kind to let me stay?"

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: all your life you’d been taught that vampires were the supreme evil. but when you fail your first assignment as a vampire hunter, you soon realize your parents had been lying to you. maybe the real monsters were humans all along...

pairing: vampire!yuta x human!reader x werewolf!taeyong

genre: fantasy, angst, smut, fluff (if you squint)

warnings: blood mentions, vampire compelling, stalking, attempted murder (?), biting, vervain poisoning, kidnapping, chaining, suicidal thoughts, manipulative parents, torture threats, swearing, death threats, pee mentions (i’m sorry, i wanted to make it funny?), pet names (sweetheart, babygirl, princess, kitten, etc.), undressing, feeding, terrible puns, yutae feminist kings, yuta pervert, lock picking, kissing, subby yong, handjob, face-sitting, eating out, unprotected sex, choking, kabedon, cheating, guilt, slut-shaming (?), homoerotic undertones, polyamory

author’s note: this story takes place in the same universe as my nominyn fic best friend. if you feel like reading it, i’d be very happy and grateful ❤️ if not, all you need to know is that taeyong, the owner of lee’s club, is also jeno’s cousin and they’re both werewolves. and yuta is the vampire who turned jaemin. taeyong and yuta are roommates and friends 💜 as for y/n, this is a different reader than the one in best friend (obviously, but i’m still clarifying just in case lol). anyways, i hope you all enjoy this 💙

word count: 8.2k

Chain! Reaction The chain spreads Chain! Reaction The chain connects From here on, the world is connecting...

“I can’t believe you’d be so irresponsible as to turn my cousin’s best friend into a vampire!” Taeyong scolded his roommate Yuta one night.

“How was I supposed to know Na Jaemin is Lee Jeno’s bestie?” Yuta groaned.

“They’re regulars in my club, how did you not know?” Taeyong sighed, completely exasperated by the vampire’s reckless behaviour.

“In my defense, all humans look the same to me. That’s like...asking a lion to tell the difference between an antelope and a gazelle. They’re all prey to me,” Yuta shrugged.

“You’re disgusting,” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Remind me again why I agreed to have you as a roommate?”

“Because your previous roommate never cleaned up after himself and you hate it when things get messy. And I’m an extremely considerate vampire who doesn’t leave any traces of blood.”

“Unbelievable,” Taeyong shook his head. “You should be more careful from now on. Turning people I know without their consent can end badly.”

“I’ll try to be more cautious. And if Jaemin comes by again, I’ll give him some helpful tips about his new life as a vampire.”

“I appreciate it,” Taeyong nodded. “But I still have a bad feeling about this.”

“Everything will be fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?”

The answer was: a lot. For a while, things were fine. Yuta was going on his usual hunting sprees. Picking random drunken victims from the club, having enough blood to keep him satisfied but without killing them, and then compelling them to forget about the experience. Taeyong, being the more responsible out of the two, kept scolding his roommate to be more careful. But Yuta never listened. And one night, he was caught in the act by vampires’ worst enemy. No, it wasn’t werewolves like the stereotypes said. But something far more dangerous.

A couple of nights later, Yuta and Taeyong were walking home beneath the moonlight. It was a little too quiet. Suddenly, Taeyong, with his werewolf super smell, sensed something wrong.

“Someone’s following us,” he whispered to Yuta. “Should we run?”

“Run?” Yuta scoffed. “We’re a vampire and a werewolf. Whoever’s following us should be afraid of us.”

“Don’t turn around,” Taeyong warned but in vain. Yuta reacted without thinking and used his vampire super speed to run not away from the danger but towards it. When Taeyong noticed it was just a human girl, he panicked a little. Was Yuta seriously going to kill her simply for following them? Seconds later, he realized she was not just any ordinary girl. She was a vampire hunter, holding an wooden stake in her hand. She was trained to murder vampires. Before Taeyong could react and warn Yuta, his roommate’s fangs were already on her neck. “Yuta, don’t!”

But it was too late. As soon as the hunter’s blood was in his system, Yuta weakly swayed to the side.

“V-vervain,” Yuta whispered, collapsing onto the ground. Taeyong, who was usually the rational one, didn’t think this time, he simply reacted. Transforming into his wolf form, he jumped into the air, snarling at the girl. Wooden stakes did not pose any danger to werewolves, so he was unafraid when he bit her hand, causing her to drop the weapon. It was beyond obvious she was inexperienced in the art of hunting monsters. Despite being prepared by having injected vervain in her blood, she was no match for a werewolf.

“He’s not d-dead, I s-swear,” the girl stammered helplessly, anticipating Taeyong’s attack. “Just unconscious.”

Taeyong growled, contemplating what the best thing to do was. If he killed the girl, more hunters would come after them to avenge her. If he let her go - same result.

“I don’t want to do this,” she confessed, tearing up. “And neither do you.”

In that moment, Taeyong made a decision. One that he would probably regret but one he couldn’t stop himself from making. Roaring at her, the hunter girl fainted in fear, visibly unprepared for an actual encounter with monsters.

And Taeyong made the decision not to kill her.

You woke up feeling utterly exhausted. And the first thing you noticed was that your hands were chained to an unfamiliar bed. Your legs were free, but that didn’t matter much, because your wrists hurt so badly you could barely move. You put two and two together, recalling the events of last night. Your parents who’d been vampire hunters their whole lives, had sent you on your first assignment. You were supposed to find a vampire and kill him. Easy. Only not so much. Despite being trained for this for ten years, you kept hearing rumours that not all vampires were murderers. And as much as you tried to locate one that you were certain killed innocents, you couldn’t succeed. So, when you spotted a vampire (whose name was Yuta but you didn’t know that yet) drinking the blood of a random woman you had been so close to intervening in your wish to save her life, but then you saw him letting her go, compelling her to forget about this...You instinctively knew he wasn’t a murderer. And yet, if you didn’t want to disappoint your parents, you had to go through with this. But as expected, you failed. And now you were stuck here, far away from your home.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” the werewolf from last night pointed out, walking into the room.

“Why?” you asked dumbly.

“Why what?” he tilted his head in confusion.

“Why am I awake? Why didn’t you kill me?” you wanted to know.

“You sound like someone who wants to be killed,” he observed.

“I’d rather die than...” than go back home and face the disappointment in your strict parents’ eyes, you thought. But didn’t dare say it out loud in front of the werewolf. You couldn’t afford to be that vulnerable. You had already shown enough weakness...with your inability to get rid of the vampire.

“This was your first assignment, wasn’t it?” the werewolf guessed correctly.

“How did you find out?” you murmured.

“It’s obvious. I mean, you hesitated. Trained hunters usually kill vampires before it comes to drinking blood stained with vervain. You couldn’t even lift your wooden stake. You were just holding it.”

“I didn’t hesitate,” you lied. “I was just too slow.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. If it helps you sleep better at night.”

He could see right through you. It was so frustrating. But you figured lying to him was useless. If he didn’t kill you, your superiors would definitely do so for failing to complete your mission. So, you might as well spend your last days being honest. 

“Is the vampire alive?” you asked.

“As alive as vampires can be,” the werewolf chuckled. “And his name is Yuta. Not that you care.”

“And what is yours?” the words had left your mouth before your brain could order your lips shut. As if it mattered. As if it would make a difference.

“It’s Taeyong. But I don’t imagine you’d be willing to share yours without some good old-fashioned torturing.”

Honestly? You were already a disappointment to your people. You didn’t feel like being tortured into giving away your name. Everything seemed insignificant.

“I’m Y/N,” you admitted. “And like I said. I’d rather die than return home.”

“And why is that?” Taeyong inquired curiously.

“I hate being judged for my lack of hunting skills. I hate feeling like a failure, like a fucking outcast. But what I hate more than anything is that I have the gnawing suspicion my family has been lying to me. They kept telling me vampires never leave their victims to walk away alive. I’ve been trying to find a vampire who actually murders humans for weeks. It would feel wrong to kill someone who isn’t a killer. And just when I thought I was successful because Yuta looked so bloodthirsty and savage, he let that drunk woman go. But my parents kept pestering me, saying I’m taking too long with my first assignment. And I couldn’t imagine having to face their disappointment so I followed Yuta. But you were with him. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. And...the mere fact you still haven’t killed me is making me question everything my family ever taught me.”

Taeyong nodded thoughtfully, visibly intrigued by your story.

“I would love to finish this conversation, but I promised to help my cousin out with something today,” he explained. “Of course, as much as I feel for you, I can’t afford letting you go after that stunt you pulled last night. I can’t risk more hunters coming after Yuta and I. So, you’ll have to forgive me if I leave you here for the time being.”

“No, wait!” you opened your mouth to argue but Taeyong had already left the room. Damnit. You had no idea when he would return...What if you had to use the toilet? You realized your current chained position made it impossible for you to do any movements. Was he just going to leave you here? Were you going to starve to death? Despite your previous claims, you realized you didn’t actively want to die. At least, not like this. It was embarrassing. You would rather lose your life fighting than in such a pathetic way - chained to a freaking bed with no immediate access to water or any other basic need for that matter.

Hours later, when you were beginning to lose your mind, terrified by the unknown and how long it would be until your next sip of water or your next meal, you had an unexpected visitor. For a second, you were hopeful that Taeyong had returned, already feeling a bit encouraged by your previous conversation with the werewolf. But soon enough, your hopes were crushed when your eyes spotted the vampire Yuta walking into the room. Your body involuntarily reacted with terror, your toes curling in fear and your restrained fists clenching in vain.

“Are you scared?” he grinned, mocking you. “Good. You should be.”

You didn’t dare speak, feeling far more intimidated by the cold vampire than the friendly werewolf.

“Give me one valid reason why I shouldn’t suck you dry right now,” Yuta threatened.

“My blood still has vervain in it,” you explained cautiously. “It will take at least 48 hours for my system to be clear of it. You barely recovered from the first bite, are you sure you want to take your chances a second time?”

He chuckled.

“You’re smart, I’ll give you that. But you forget very one important fact. My fangs are not the only thing capable of killing a weakly human such as yourself. I could easily slit your throat with a kitchen knife. Or drown you in the bathtub. Or maybe you’d prefer rat poison? Whatever the choice of weapon, my point is...I can kill you. So, why shouldn’t I?”

Yet again, despite your previous bravado and useless protests that you’d rather die than go back to your family, you still wanted to live. You were too young to die.

“Yes, you can,” you acquiesced. “But you won’t. If you wanted to, you would have done so already. Which means that Taeyong told you not to, didn’t he? And you value his opinion. Even if it goes against your personal views. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Yuta nodded, impressed by your deductive skills. Even though you were obviously shit at combat, your brain made you a useful asset to the hunting business.

“You’re right. But you’re also hungry, thirsty and chained to a bed. And Taeyong, responsible as he is, forgot about that. After his meeting with his cousin, he’ll go to work at his club. He usually comes back at 1 am. It’s currently...hm, lunch time. You think you can last that long?”

You probably could. But you didn’t want to.

“Or...you could try to rely on me. Oh, who am I kidding? Your hunter pride would probably make that impossible.”

Fuck your hunter pride, you thought. You wanted water. And if you were lucky, maybe a snack. Now. And you also needed to pee really badly you were barely holding it in. You couldn’t physically imagine staining the sheets in front of the vampire. That would be far too mortifying.

Yuta was about to walk out of the room when you finally opened your mouth again.

“Please, don’t leave,” you begged him. “Tell me what I have to do for a sip of water and I will.”

“Aw, aren’t you a pliant little one?” he cooed, poking fun at you. 

If your parents could see you now, they would probably disown you for being the most pathetic failed attempt of a hunter in the universe. But honestly, you didn’t care. They had lied to you. Both the werewolf and the vampire had spared your life. Which made them so much more different from the monsters your family had described to you.

“How about we play a game? For every question of mine you answer truthfully, I’ll grant you one wish. And don’t even bother to lie. I can literally hear the blood coursing through your veins and I’ll know if you try to deceive me.”

It sounded easy enough to achieve. You couldn’t imagine what the vampire could possibly want to know. But you were so desperate for release that you were willing to be the most honest person ever.

“Agreed,” you responded rightaway.

“Very well, then. Why did you hesitate? Last night you had a wooden stake in your hand but you didn’t even lift it up,” Yuta pointed out. “You could have easily used it to put an end to my seemingly immortal existence. But you didn’t. Instead, you let me drink from you, temporarily weakening me with vervain. Why?”

“Like I already told Taeyong earlier today,” you started explaining the same old story but in a different way. “I couldn’t bring myself to complete my first assignment as a hunter, because I realized my parents had been lying to me for years. A couple of nights ago I saw you drinking blood from a woman but you didn’t kill her. You compelled her to forget and let her go. My family had told me all vampires were heartless murderers. But they were wrong, weren’t they?”

“I’ll let you draw your own conclusions, little one,” Yuta smirked mysteriously, even though you were already about 51% positive he wasn’t going to kill you. The other 49% of doubts you blamed partially on your upbringing and internalized distrust of vampires but mostly on his savage grin. “You answered with the truth and I’m a vampire of my word. What is your first wish?”

“This is too embarrassing,” you confessed. “But I really need to use the toilet.”

“Oh. Well, I have some bad news for you, babygirl. Taeyong took the key to your chains with him. Even if I wanted to release you, that would be impossible.”

“What, so not even your vampire super strength can take these off?” you exclaimed in disappointment. You couldn’t hold it in much longer...

“It can,” Yuta replied. “But it would also break your wrists. And as angry as I am for last night’s events, it would be a shame to tear you apart without getting to know each other first, don’t you think?”

You shuddered, somewhat terrified of his cruel words.

“Lucky for you, I have an idea,” he said, significantly pointing towards the bed.

“You’re insane!” you shouted. “I’m not going to pee in front of you and then drown in my own...God, why are we even discussing this?”

“I can avert my eyes if it’ll make you feel more comfortable. And change the sheets after you’re done. Aren’t I a generous bloodsucker?” Yuta smirked.

Fuck it. You were going to burst...

“Turn around. Please?” you mumbled shyly.

“As you wish,” he did as you asked. And you could no longer contain it. A couple of seconds later, you awkwardly informed Yuta that you were finished doing your...business. When he faced you again, you quickly closed your eyes, feeling utterly humiliated. You could hear the sound of Yuta changing the sheets but didn’t dare open your eyes. Not until you felt his hands on your hips.

“What are you d-doing?” you squeaked.

“Taking your jeans off. Unless you want to sit here like this, soaking wet.”

Fucking hell...You hated how his words affected you.

“Fine. Just get it over with,” you gave him permission, even though he was obviously the one in power here. And you were the one left completely defenseless and still chained to a bed.

There was something incredibly intimate about him undressing your lower half and letting you wear a pair of dry, clean pants (you didn’t want to think about whether they were his or Taeyong’s). 

“All set,” Yuta announced and for the briefest of moments it was easy to forget you were a hunter and he was a vampire. Touched by his gesture, you murmured a quick thank you. And then, it was back to square one.

“My second question for you is...what would you do if we let you go? Would you try to kill me? Or Taeyong?”

You shook your head, surprising yourself with the unexpected truth.

“I can’t kill you,” you replied. “Not that it would be impossible to find the means. But my personal morals are in contradiction with everything I’ve been trained to do. My observations have led me to believe you’re not a murderer, therefore, I can’t bring myself to kill you. Or Taeyong. Everything I stand for goes against my family’s orders.”

“That doesn’t answer my first question, kitten. What would you do?”

“I can’t go back to my people,” you admitted. “They would ostracize me, probably even execute me for being such a failure. So, I don’t know what to do. If you don’t kill me, my superiors sure will. Does that answer your question?”

Yuta seemed extremely shocked by how cruel hunters could be. Made you question everything, reality itself...Maybe the real monsters were humans, after all.

“I believe it does. And your second wish?”

“Can you please let me have some water?” you asked.

“Of course,” he agreed rightaway and quickly brought you a glass full of water. Grateful, you let him lift your chin up, slightly tilting your head backwards, as he poured water into your mouth. When your thirst was quenched and the glass empty, you blinked at him, incredibly moved by the simple act of him giving you something to drink.

“Why are you so nice to me?” you mumbled.

“It’s not your turn to ask questions, little one,” Yuta scoffed. “But I’m feeling strangely generous today, so I’ll answer anyway. Same reason why you didn’t kill me.”

What was that supposed to mean? Was Yuta nice to you because...he didn’t believe you were a murderer? Could it be that simple?

“Regardless,” he continued. “We’ve already established you’re not interested in going back to your people should we choose to let you go. And I’m not interested in killing you. For now. That leaves me with one last question. Not what you would do, you made yourself abundantly clear you had no idea. But where would you go? Would you be willing to stay here? With us?”

“Why would you want me to stay here?” you asked in shock. “Would I not be a nuisance to you?”

“It would certainly make my life much easier if I had access to fresh human blood whenever I pleased. After your system is clear of the damn vervain, of course.”

“You want me to be your bloodmobile?” you exclaimed.

“Well, when you put it like that, the idea sounds much less appealing.”

“Dear Lord,” you laughed, unbelievably amused by the absurdity of this conversation.

“Just answer the question.”

“Ah, right. Um...it was like you said, you’re not interested in killing me. And I gotta admit, being your bloodmobile is far more preferable than being executed by other hunters for being a flop. So, yeah. I think I would stay. Does that make me crazy? Maybe so. But do I care? Not really. At least I’d be alive,” you kept ranting mindlessly until Yuta finally chose to interrupt you.

“And your third wish?”

“Can I have something to eat?” you asked.

“Sure thing. I’ll give you a bite. Pun-intended.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to chuckle, overwhelmed by the vampire’s sense of humour. A bit later, Yuta was back from the kitchen, carrying a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich, some beef meat and a banana.

“But m-my h-hands...” you stammered, dumbly pointing out the current predicament which promised your inability to hold the food.

“Relax, kitten, I’ll feed you,” Yuta rolled his eyes. And so he did, gently feeding you. Silence reigned in the room while you ate. Finally, as the plate was cleared of its contents, you were the first to speak again.

“I’m starting to think there is some conspiracy theory. If the hunters knew what kindness vampires were capable of, all their children would have gladly escaped the hunter life a long time ago.”

“Oh, babygirl, not all vampires are like me,” Yuta hissed in your ear.

By the time Taeyong returned home, it was too late and you had already fallen asleep. Which meant you could not hear the discussions he was having with Yuta. And you could not feel what was happening to those chains. Despite your initial unawareness, you were quick to spot the difference in the morning. Your hands were free, you realized with amazement. Any other hunter would have jumped at their newfound freedom, would have been quick to attack the supernatural creatures from behind and escape. But you were more of a feeble newborn kitten than a hunter. So, you simply walked towards the door. Not intending to run away. But to explore. Finding Taeyong on the couch, you greeted him nervously and gathered enough courage to sit down next to him. His first words shocked you out of your senses.

“I’m really sorry, darling,” he whispered. When you stared at him in confusion, he added. “About yesterday. I shouldn’t have left with the key still in my pocket. Yuta told me how you...”

“Okay, that’s enough!” you chirped. “Please don’t make me re-live the embarrassment.”

Taeyong made a zipping movement towards his mouth jokingly, signifying that he wouldn’t bring up the subject again.

“I never asked you how you had these chains just lying around. Kinda suspicious, no?”

He shook his head.

“In my first months as a werewolf, it was difficult to control my strength during a full moon. I used to wake up to my apartment being completely thrashed. I’m talking...broken furniture, torn clothes and other unspeakable consequences of my lycanthropy. So, I used to chain myself during my first full moons to prevent myself from misbehaving. I haven’t needed them for a while, as you can probably tell from our initial encounter. But in relation to a vampire hunter, they came in handy. Pun-intended.”

You rolled your eyes. You could tell why Taeyong and Yuta were friends.

“So, what made you change your mind? I mean, why did you remove them from me?” you wanted to know.

“The second Yuta told me about yesterday’s...unmentionable event, I knew it couldn’t happen again. You’re a lady, after all. I apologize for any discomfort I have caused you. It’s just that...I care about Yuta and yesterday morning, he was still too weak from the vervain to defend himself. I couldn’t take any chances.”

“I understand,” you nodded. “And I’m glad now you know I have no intention of killing either of you.”

“That doesn’t mean I trust you,” Taeyong clarified.

“Of course not. But you’re willing to tolerate my existence and that’s good enough for me.”

“Not just tolerate it. I can do better. You don’t have to answer any questions of mine in exchange for water or food. I shouldn’t have left you alone with that little devil.”

“Hey!” Yuta, who’d just walked into the room, complained loudly.

“Weren’t you asleep?” you asked.

“Vampires don’t sleep. What do they teach you in the hunter academy?” Taeyong joked.

“Yeah, I don’t sleep,” Yuta confirmed with a wink. “I just turn off the lights and then cover my eyes. I’ll leave the rest of it to your imagination.”

You didn’t know what to make of it and honestly, you were too afraid to ask.

“As I was saying,” Taeyong interrupted with a sigh. “Let me know whenever you’re hungry and I’ll cook you something. Yuta told me you weren’t all that eager to return to your family, so...just consider yourself our new roommate.”

“But...I don’t have money to pay rent,” you explained foolishly.

“That will be unnecessary. You agreeing not to kill us and provide Yuta with a snack is payment enough. Okay, that sounded wrong,” Taeyong mumbled nervously. “Not that you’re a snack. I mean, you are but in a different sense. Oh, nevermind.”

You blinked at him, feeling uncharacteristically flustered by his words.

“But Taeyong, we only have two beds!” Yuta pointed out, visibly complaining.

“Yuta, you literally don’t sleep,” Taeyong sighed. “You just said so yourself. Take the fucking couch and stop being a baby about it.”

You couldn’t help but grin in amusement. Even if vampires didn’t sleep, they still enjoyed whining and having a place to lie down for whatever reason required no lights and covering their eyes...

“Are you serious about this?” you felt inclined to ask. “I don’t mean to cause you any trouble. You could easily get rid of me by...you know, killing me.”

“Out of the question,” Yuta and Taeyong cried out at the exact same time.

As time went by, you found yourself feeling more and more comfortable in their company. Not only that but you also felt safer around Yuta and Taeyong than you did when you were with your own family. Maybe it was because of the fact that there were no expectations of you. Other than the occasional giving some of your blood to the vampire and helping the werewolf with the cooking, your new roommates were unlike your parents in the sense that they weren’t constantly on your ass. You weren’t just the “hunter daughter” who was supposed to kill innocent vampires and maintain the family legacy, make the whole hunter world proud...You were just you. And that seemed to be enough.

One night, a month after you’d first met them, Yuta had said he would go out for drinks with a fellow vampire Jaemin to teach the younger boy some basics. You were surprised to find out that Taeyong didn’t join his friend and instead, chose to stay in. Locking himself in his room...Was it because there was a full moon? But Taeyong had told you he had learned to control his wolf side a long time ago. Was he mad at you? You wandered around the kitchen. You’d cleaned the dishes as promised and you’d even done the laundry. Why was he avoiding you? Usually, when you stayed alone with Taeyong in the apartment, the werewolf would opt for watching a movie with you or playing games together. But locking himself was beyond suspicious. You had to get to the bottom of it...

Knocking the door to his room was pointless, because there was no response. You sighed to yourself and even though you knew it was wrong, you were too curious to ignore this. So, you removed a hairpin from your head and used it to pick the lock. Once you entered Taeyong’s room, you immediately spotted him, crouched pitifully in the corner.

“Taeyong, are you okay?” you asked in concern, walking towards him.

“Stay away from me, Y/N,” he warned you harshly.

However, you couldn’t. Feeling drawn to him, almost as if by an invisible chain, you approached him further.

“Talk to me, please. If there’s anything I can do to help...”

“Your scent. I can’t stand it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you inquired.

“The full moon is affecting me. Before you arrived, I had mastered my self-control. But things are different now.”

“I’m not sure I’m following,” you whispered in confusion.

“If you don’t walk away right now, I might do something I’ll regret.”

“Like what, kill me?” you joked. Unsuccessfully.

“Worse,” Taeyong hissed.

“I’m not afraid of you, Taeyong,” you explained, taking another step towards him. “You let me stay here even though I posed a danger to your friend. You treated me kindly. For the first time in my life, you respected my wishes not to murder anyone and accepted me for who I am. You took me in when I had nowhere to go. So, if there’s a way I could help you, I will.”

Taeyong wasted no more time and kissed you, barely restraining himself from doing more. You were too shocked to move, but when the initial surprise wore off, you started kissing him back just as eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck. When his lips left yours, he groaned:

“You should go. I can’t hold back.”

“Don’t hold back,” you begged him and went back to kissing him. Soon enough, he spoke again:

“I have to tell you something. You’ll probably be disappointed, though. I know the general expectation is that werewolves are super dominant and stuff but...I’m not like that. I want you to take care of me.”

“Why would I be disappointed?” you cooed gently. “I think you’re perfect just the way you are. And I’d love to take care of you.”

“Yeah?” Taeyong chuckled in disbelief.

You nodded and boldly pushed him so that he would sit at the edge of his bed. Climbing into his lap, you ran your fingers through hair and started grinding your hips so that you’d stimulate him. When your motions got unbearable for him, he asked you for more. And who were you to deny him? Sliding your hand into his pants, you skillfully circled it around his length, stroking it faster so that he’d reach release.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” he whined after cumming. “Can’t get enough of you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you promised foolishly and kissed his forehead.

“Please, I need you,” Taeyong spoke passionately.

“Patience, my dear boy,” you reassured him and started taking off your black dress slowly. When you were left entirely naked, it hit you how wet you were already. Just for him...

“Let me taste you, sweetheart,” he begged and you already knew what he meant. “Sit on my face.”

You did as he wished and allowed him to drink in your juices thirstily. You were holding yourself slightly upright. But soon enough, your knees began shaking. Terrified you’d accidentally fall and stop his airflow, you managed to remove yourself from his lips.

“Nooo,” Taeyong cried out at the loss. “You were so sweet. My sweet girl.”

You caressed his cheeks fondly and moved the lower of your body on the bed so that the heat between your legs was now centimetres away from his cock.

“We could no longer be just roommates after this. Are you sure about it?” you felt inclined to ask.

Taeyond nodded.

“Are you?” he needed to know. Instead of giving him a verbal response, you slid yourself onto him excitedly, smirking. “Shit.”

“Does it feel good for you?” you inquired.

“Hm, I don’t know. Why don’t you start moving and we’ll find out?” Taeyong teased.

“Noted,” you laughed and began bouncing around his cock. It didn’t take long for either of you to come. That thing he’d said about your scent, it also referred to you. You couldn’t physically stay away from him, feeling chained in the best possible way. His body’s reaction to you further enhanced your confidence. When you were both too exhausted for another high, you cuddled Taeyong softly, wrapping a blanket around the two of you.

“I don’t want to weird you out but...I think you’re my mate,” he confessed. “And I’m not just saying it because of the mind-blowing sex we just had. I think...I’ve known it ever since I saw you following us that night. If it was anyone else, I would have probably killed them for threatening Yuta’s life. But when I looked at you, I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. So, I did the only thing I could think of...kidnapping you and tying you up. Which, in retrospect, was a little possessive and questionable of me. But if it means getting to have you so close to me, I don’t regret it. Does this make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense, Yongie,” you replied. “I’m not an expert in what this means for me, for us. But what I know for sure is that even after you removed those chains, I didn’t want to escape like any other hunter would have done. I just felt so attached to you already...like I belong here. And if that is the case, then, I’m honoured to be your mate.”

When Yuta returned home at sunrise, you and Taeyong decided it would only be right to inform him about your changed dynamic. After all, Yuta was still your roommate and he deserved to know the truth in order to avoid any potential awkwardness. However, you weren’t certain how exactly to tell him. You weren’t actually dating because you hadn’t gone out on a proper date yet. As for the mating business, it sounded way too serious to disclose in front of Yuta this early on in your relationship. Instead of spending hours wondering how exactly to phrase this, you simply blurted out:

“Taeyong and I slept together.”

Yuta furrowed his eyebrows.

“Good for you? What do you want me to say, congratulations?” he scoffed sarcastically. “You both know very well vampires can’t sleep so wayyy to rub salt into the wound.”

“Well, technically, we didn’t do much sleeping,” Taeyong clarified with a wink. “If you catch my drift.”

“Ew, I get it. Enough of that already,” Yuta hissed angrily.

“Did your date with Jaemin not go well? Why are you acting so prickly?” Taeyong nudged his friend’s shoulder playfully. However, Yuta quickly pulled away as if the mere touch was an offense.

“First of all, it wasn’t a date, I was just giving the poor kid some helpful tips. Second of all, I’m not prickly,” Yuta rolled his eyes. “I simply do not give a damn about your sex life.”

“I thought you’d be happy for us,” you mumbled, sorrow clouding your features.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Yuta shrugged carelessly and went back to his own room, now that you and Taeyong were sharing his bedroom.

The two of you exchanged a brief look of confusion. And as it often turns out, your joy was short-lived.

The next couple of days were the definition of uncomfortable. Whenever your paths crossed with Yuta, he ignored you. And judging from Taeyong’s words, he treated him the same way. You and Taeyong didn’t dare say a word to further upset Yuta. So you basically walked on your tippy toes around him. In the bedroom, you were as quiet as possible, because you feared Yuta would make fun of your shared pleasure and you didn’t want to hear another sneerful remark. However, there were no such comments on his behalf. Just silence. It no longer felt as if you were friends with the vampire. And honestly, it was breaking your heart. He didn’t even want to drink blood from you anymore. Which any sane person would have been happy about, but for some reason, made you feel dejected and rejected.

One night, when Taeyong was working late at his club and Yuta had miraculously stayed in, you decided you could no longer take the cold treatment. Without bothering to knock, you simply entered Yuta’s room in a huff and confronted him directly.

“That’s it!” you said. “You either tell me what’s going on right now or you better find new roommates because I’m done putting up with this bullshit.”

Yuta got up from his chair and in the matter of seconds, he had managed to get closer to you, one hand on your throat, another leaning above your head, with your back pressed against the wall.

“You’re the outsider here, babygirl. You really think you can give me an ultimatum? That’s pathetic...”

Your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest, feeling extremely intimidated by the vampire’s behaviour. But you couldn’t afford to be weak. You might not be a proper hunter but you still believed yourself to be strong enough to hold your ground. Grabbing his hand tightly and forcing him to loosen his grip on your throat, you stated:

“What’s pathetic is you ignoring your friends for no reason. Maybe if you just talked to us, you would stop being so irritable all the time.”

“No reason, you say?” Yuta tsked. “There is plenty of reason but if I told you, you’d wish you’d killed me the very first night we met.”

You shook your head adamantly.

“I wouldn’t,” you insisted. “You’re not a bad guy, Yuta, no matter how hard you try to push us away. You’re so much more-”

Then, without giving you the chance to finish your sentence, he kissed you savagely, taking your breath away. You knew this was wrong, in the mere act of kissing him back, you were betraying Taeyong’s trust. But you couldn’t stop yourself from doing so anyway. Feeling the oh-so-familiar invisible chain reaction, binding you to these two, you found it impossible to suppress your primal urges.

“Yes, I am,” Yuta hissed, after breaking the kiss. “A good guy wouldn’t kiss his best friend’s mate.” Fuck. He knew. “A good guy wouldn’t catch feelings for her. And even if he did, a good guy would never act on them like I just did.”

You disagreed with him.

“Then, I’m just as bad as you.”

Yuta frowned, awaiting a further explanation.

“I kissed you back,” you elaborated, still shaken up by what you’ve done. “God, this will break Taeyong’s heart.”

“I pressed you against the wall, you couldn’t have fought me off and you’re blaming yourself?” Yuta chuckled in amusement. “You’re seriously too kind for your own good.”

“Kind?” you cackled histerically. “I almost killed you even though you were innocent and you call this kind? Do you have any self-preservation instincts?”

“I would gladly die by your hand,” he whispered seductively.

“If this is your method of foreplay, you really need to work on it,” you joked.

“This can’t go further,” Yuta cut you off. “It was a mistake.”

“Do you regret kissing me?”

“I don’t regret a thing. But we can’t...if Taeyong finds out...”

“Are you scared of him?” you couldn’t resist asking.

“I’m scared for him,” he clarified. “He can never know.”

“I don’t want to lie to him,” you replied. “And besides, even if we do try to keep it a secret, he’ll smell your scent all over me.”

“So?” Yuta shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “We can just say I drank from you again.”

“We’re not lying to him, Yuta,” you insisted. “My decision is final.”

“It will devastate him,” he sighed.

“It was a one time thing,” you tried to convince yourself rather than him. “He may forgive us.”

“Nah, he won’t,” Yuta laughed sadly and kissed you again. And you found yourself kissing him back. Again. Until the kisses turned into touches and the touches turned into losing yourselves in each other’s arms and the losing yourselves turned into doing something so irrevocable. Something so wrong but why on earth did it feel so right?

Upon returning home a little after 2 am, Taeyong was so exhausted from working all night long that the first thing he did was to snuggle in the bed he was sharing with you. Usually, your scent brought him so much comfort that he fell asleep very quickly. But this night was different. As he cuddled closer into your sleeping figure, he couldn’t help but notice something was wrong. You didn’t smell like yourself. You smelled like Yuta. Taeyong’s initial reaction was that Yuta was finally done moping around like a sad lion and had probably drunk blood from you. But (and there was a big but coming...) it wasn’t just your neck that smelled like him. It was your whole body. Your hands, your lips and the heat between your legs...It was so frustrating that Taeyong couldn’t take it anymore. Getting up from the bed, he shook you awake. He needed to know if he was just being delusional or if his suspicions were correct. Even though every cell in his body was telling him the truth. It was too obvious to ignore.

“Taeyong...” you murmured sleepily. Upon seeing his angry expression, you put two and two together and added:  “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to say it,” Taeyong responded, looking absolutely crestfallen. “I already know.”

You nodded, feeling a tremendous wave of guilt washing over you.

“I will understand if you want to break up. Or if you want me to move out...”

“Where will you go?” he sighed, still feeling responsible. Despite the very apparent fact you had cheated on him with his best friend.

You shrugged.

“I don’t know,” you whimpered, tears already falling down your cheeks. “I’ll probably go back to my people. Face their judgment for being a total failure. After all, I deserve-”

“No,” Taeyong cut you off. “It’s not like you killed a person, Y/N. You don’t deserve to die. Of course you can stay here.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve to die but I certainly don’t deserve you,” you cried out pitifully.

Instead of contradicting your words, he further proved you right with his next statement.

“If you and Yuta really like each other, I’ll back off. Even if it breaks my heart to see my mate and my best friend-”

You shook your head.

“That’s the thing. I do like him a lot. But I like you just as much. I don’t want you to back off. I know it’s a lot to ask, considering how badly I just fucked up, but...”

“Do you want me to fight Yuta for you?” Taeyong scoffed. “Because if I do, only one of us will walk out alive. And I don’t want to lose either of you. You two went behind my back and I still care for you so much. That must make me an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot for having a heart,” you wrapped your hands around his waist, refusing to let go. “And I would never ask you to fight your best friend. In fact, I wanted to ask you the exact opposite.”

“What are you saying?”

“I feel too attached to you both. This cannot be the end. I know I don’t deserve either of you. But I need you so badly. I can’t function without you, Taeyong. And the same goes for Yuta. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Taeyong blinked for a couple of seconds, making you feel a bit worried he was about to reject you. Until he finally spoke again and you released a breath you had no idea you’d been holding for so long.

“I thought I was the only one,” he murmured in wonder.

“Huh?”

“I know this probably sounds insane but...I think I have two mates.”

“I don’t mean to sound presumptuous but...do you mean Yuta and I?” you whispered.

“No, I mean completely random people I’ve never met before,” Taeyong joked. “Of course I meant you and Yuta.”

You blushed shyly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“And I already know how you feel about both of us, so we just need to see what Yuta thinks about all this,” Taeyong mused out loud.

“I suppose there’s only one way to find out,” you grinned, jumping out of the bed.

“It’s a good thing we wouldn’t be waking him up. You know, with the whole vampires don’t sleep business,” Taeyong giggled.

Once you two barged into Yuta’s room (without knocking, of course), he seemed pretty flustered that he was being visited in the middle of the night. Not that he was doing anything he shouldn’t have been doing. Definitely not.

“What do you want?” he said through gritted teeth.

Taeyong, however, despite his earlier proposition, wanted to scold his friend a little for sleeping with his mate.

“What do I want?” he barked, feigning anger and annoyance. “I can’t believe Y/N would cheat on me with someone so rude and irresponsible.”

You immediately knew what Taeyong was getting at so you decided to play along.

“I’m so sorry, Taeyong,” you cried out, a little too dramatically. Not that you weren’t sorry and feeling guilty. You totally were. But now that you knew how Taeyong felt about both you and Yuta, you figured maybe this whole thing wasn’t such a bad idea after all. ”Please, forgive me, I swear it’ll never happen again.”

“Oh shit. So, you know,” Yuta sighed.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” Taeyong hissed, grabbing Yuta by the collar of his shirt. His acting was a little too good. You wondered if you had really hurt him that badly, or if he was secretly happy. “Your scent was all over her, you asshole.”

“Taeyong, stop, no one has to die,” you pleaded, weakly attempting to pull him away from Yuta. You knew this was all an act and still...it felt so...real. Taeyong pushed you away, freeing his arm from your pathetic grasp. You stumbled backwards, a bit shaken up.

“Look, you can do whatever you want to me, but leave her out of this, okay?” Yuta spoke gently. “I was the one who pushed her against a wall and kissed her first. The poor human was probably scared I’d drain all her blood if she didn’t do as I pleased.”

You couldn’t believe Yuta was willing to take the fall for you...You felt so undeserving and ungrateful.

“You pushed her against a wall?” Taeyong inquired, gripping harder on Yuta’s shirt. On the outside, he still appeared mad. But on the inside, he couldn’t help but wonder what it’d feel like if Yuta did that to him.

“That’s not the point!” you intervened. “I’m just as responsible for my actions. Taeyong, please, just let go of him.”

“Aww, my little slut doesn’t want the bloodsucker to get hurt?” Taeyong cooed mockingly. “What? One cock isn’t enough to satisfy the princess’s needs? Is that it?”

“You know it’s not like that,” you cried out pitifully. This was no longer acting, your heart told you instinctively. He was really upset. But he was also okay with it. It was difficult to understand. “I care about both of you a lot. It’s not about sex at all. I want to make you both happy, I need you to be with me and I desperately wish for you both to be safe. Please, Taeyong, please. You have to believe me.”

Taeyong immediately dropped his hand off Yuta and turned around, pulling you into his arms. He stroked your hair softly, making you feel comfortable and cared for.

“It’s okay, princess, I believe you. And I forgive you. Both of you.”

“Can you now tell Yuta what you told me earlier?” you asked hopefully.

“Alright, I believe I’ve tortured him long enough,” Taeyong chuckled fondly.

“Huh?” Yuta seemed like the most confused little lion in the universe. “What did I miss?”

“I wanted to ask you a question, actually,” Taeyong replied calmly.

“Hold up. So, you don’t want to kill me?!”

“I mean...not more than I usually do,” the werewolf joked.

“That’s fair. But continue,” the vampire shrugged.

“You already know how Y/N feels about both of us. And I already know you’re attracted to her. But I wanted to ask you how do you feel about me?” Taeyong inquired.

“You’re my best friend, Taeyong. Clearly, I hate your guts,” Yuta responded wittily, obviously meaning the exact opposite.

“Friendship aside, how do you feel about me...man to man?”

“Don’t you know already?” Yuta looked away, refusing to meet Taeyong’s dark gaze. The vampire wasn’t really good at talking openly about his feelings.

“Humour me.”

“I hate your guts,” he repeated stubbornly. “I hate how you’re so responsible. I hate how you’re scolding me for the littlest things. I hate how you always mean well even when you’re acting angry. I hate your stupid face and your pretty hands. But what I hate most is that I don’t hate you at all.”

Taeyong shook his head in disbelief and crashed his lips into Yuta’s. Honestly, it was the cutest sight you’d ever witnessed and you involuntarily let out a quiet squeal.

“I can’t believe you pulled a Ten Things I Hate About You to confess,” Taeyong chuckled after eventually breaking the kiss.

“I can’t believe it took me sleeping with your mate to figure it out,” Yuta replied.

“Yeah, about that...I can’t believe I might have more than one mate.”

“Wait, what? Me?” Yuta laughed in disbelief.

“Yes, you, silly,” Taeyong confirmed with a smile.

“And what I can’t believe is what wonderful things come out of attempted murder,” you chimed in helpfully. “Pun-intended. Because of the come out part.”

“Oh no, we’re rubbing off on her,” Taeyong sighed.

“Group hug!” you interrupted him and attacked them with cuddles. A lot of them, actually.

“Ewww,” Yuta complained. “Are all humans so clingy?”

“You get used to it,” Taeyong winked.

By the morning, Taeyong realized Yuta’s scent was not only all over you. It was all over Taeyong himself, as well. And he didn’t mind. In fact, he wouldn’t have it any other way...

To be continued...

[twilightdruig]

sleeping with the ceo

pairing: george weasley x fem!reader

summary: one night stand before the first day of his new job and oops that was his new boss he was sleeping with.

warnings: ceo!reader , assistant!george , muggle!au , mentions of sex , one night stand , awkwardness , fwb

words: 1.8k

a/n: unedited!! i have a love hate relationship with this and i just wanted to say @wandsandwheezes , @chokemepansy , @rcwenaclaw , and @nancybycrs are such huge inspirations to me like their writing is amazing <33

y/n didn’t know how she got here. she remembers going out with her friends, having a few drinks and partying a bit.

now, she was tangled in unfamiliar sheets with an attractive man next to her. she examined him, he was lanky, had ginger hair and freckles littered his body.

she vaguely remembers him buying her a drink. she had this fuzzy memory of his hands roaming her body. she slightly remembered his name starting with a ‘g’.

he started fussing and moving around in his sleep. he slipped his hand back to her waist so she couldn’t try to escape. he let out a groan in her ear and tightened his arms around her.

she didn’t want to wake him up so she subtly tried to nudge his chest. they were both still very naked. none of them bothered to put anything on after last night.

she raked her brain to remember what his name was. was it glen? gabriel? george? george. it sounded familiar. george. george! that was his name. he looked like a george too.

“george” she whispered slowly “george!” she whispered again a little louder. “george” she said one last time with a nudge.

he jumped a little. his eyes were now open but still droopy. he attempted to go back to sleep but awoke once again when he realized there was a beautiful girl in his arms. a beautiful naked girl. that was also when he remembered he had a job interview today.

he shot up and quickly covered himself when he realized he was undressed. she quickly turned the other way as well.

“hey there! uh… y/n right?” he exclaimed frantically, panic evident in his eyes. fred and lee somehow convinced him to come with them and celebrate fred’s job offer. the three always celebrated together. when lee finished his internship, when they graduated, when they bought their first cars, etc.

“yeah, hi!” she greeted. this was the most awkward thing she’s ever experienced. she’s a ceo! she’s fired people, yelled at people and have been in way more embarrassing moments. this is gonna be fine.

“well — uhm, it’s the first day of my job and it’s kind of really important. you can stay if you want to, my brother can take care of it” he offered.

“oh! i also have work to attend to, actually” she declined.

“oh… well then. this,” he gestured in between them, “was great. really! i wish i could spend more time but this is huge”

“no, i totally understand” she smiled.

when he left to the bathroom, she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. she walked around the spacious bedroom and picked up her scattered clothes. she just had to get picked up and change in the office. she held her shoes by the heals, got dressed up in wrinkly, used clothes and exited the room to leave for work.

she squeaked when she found george (or who she thought it was) standing shirtless, and hair dripping in the kitchen. “hi darling, i’m fred” he winked.

“yes… hi, fred. george didn’t mention a twin, only a brother” she pursed her lips feeling slightly embarrassed.

“explains the frightened and confused look”

“yeah… is it alright if i leave? tell george i had a great time last night,” she said “even if i didn’t remember most of it” she whispered to herself.

“yeah, sure!” he took a sip of his beverage “should i tell the doorman to call a taxi for you?”

“that would be really great. thank you so much”

“it’s certainly no problem” he dialed the doorman and requested a taxi.

she ran out the door, catching a glimpse of fred smirking to himself.

george walked out his room all dressed up for work and very nervous.

“missed her mate”

“oh… well i might see her again who knows” ‘oh you certainly will’ fred thought

“tell me, was she a good shag?” fred teased

“yes, actually” george laughed

“reckon she looked quite familiar?” fred asked. he knew who she was and what george was getting himself into but decided to just leave it until george figured it out by himself.

“no. you know her?”

“not really, no. familiar though”

—

she waited outside for a taxi which brought her straight to her office building.

“y/n! where the hell have you been?!” liv, your stand in assistant whisper-yelled to y/n.

“i was out with friends late last night, okay? no big deal”

“it is a big deal! there are a few workers starting her today! including your assistant because i have another job and kids to also attend to.” she handed her a white folder with the logo on the front “this is the list of all the new employees who will visit your office for first day evaluation”

“… except your assistant who will be here shortly”

“i’m gonna need to get changed.” she muttered. boy was today gonna be busy.

she boarded the elevator which took her to the highest floor; her office.

when she arrived, she ran to her personal space, past her assistant desk and into the small walk-in closet. she looked like a downright mess and it wasn’t appropriate to see new employees looking like a slob.

she tried her best looking professional and clean. she didn’t want her employees to know she was out sleeping with a stranger the night before. she did not know what she was getting herself into.

a few minutes passed, she was seated in her desk going through emails and actual mail, checking her calendar and whatnot when she heard the elevator door open.

she looked up and was met with familiar ginger hair, brown eyes and freckles. “george?” “y/n!?” they yelled at the same time.

they saw each other this morning, naked, and tangled in each other’s arms. george didn’t know why he didn’t recognize her, and y/n didn’t know how this was possible ��who goes out the night before their first day at their job?’.

“heyy,” y/n greeted awkwardly slow “george.”

she could hear a faint and unclear “i slept with my new boss last night” from george.

“and i slept with my new assistant last night as well” she continued, testing the waters. in the amount of times y/n has hired people, this has never happened.

george gave her a tight-lipped smile. now it made sense what fred said this morning. she was of course familiar. the oh so rich ceo of the company he now works at. y/n l/n, multi-millionaire.

“listen, george. if you don’t want to work as my assistant, i can transfer you to one of my managers” she offered. she took his feelings into account, maybe he regret last night, he might be the office slut or whatever was going through his head.

“no! no, y/n. that’s ridiculous. i would love to work for you”

—

weeks turned into months and the two working together went smoothly. he answered her calls, made reservations and bought coffee. they worked like friends, equals. not like one was working for the other.

george especially appreciated the scented candle y/n got him the very next day after the awkward exchange.

y/n would even call him into her office for a quickie almost a year into him working there. it became a regular thing. either her hands down his trousers or her bent over her own desk.

today was different though. george was jittery and nervous. y/n was the least busy she’s ever been. she’d ask what her schedule was every half hour.

he slipped a little something in her calendar tonight, though. 8pm dinner at italiano’s with george. it was kind of a way of asking her out? he thought it was smart.

“georgie, what else is on my schedule today?” she called from her desk while playing with her pen.

“well, sweetheart,” they called each other nicknames and petnames when no one was around “you have a meeting with alicia by 4:30, selene is stopping by for drinks by 5:15 and you have dinner with me at 8”

she registered the meetings into her mind then along came dinner with her assistant with benefits.

“is this your way of asking me out, georgie?” she teased.

“oh, you see right through me huh”

“of course i do,” she poked his sides “literally an hour before your first day i was tangled in your sheets. i think we’ve got quite the bond”

—

after all her meetings and meet ups, it was finally the time for her to go home, or in today’s case, have dinner with george.

they went to a dainty little italian restaurant who served the best pasta she’s ever had (well that’s what she told george). it was quiet especially for a sunday night.

george was sitting across from her as they waited for the food. he started with a little small talk like the weather and the environment. he then talked about the situations at work and other people who worked with them. this felt natural to them. just two friends (or more) talking comfortably in a romantic italian restaurant.

“we had sex the first time today, a year ago” george interjected.

“you really have a way with words, weasley. but really?” y/n asked with wide, surprised eyes. george nodded. “wow! a year ago. that seems like so long”

“it does”

their food was served and they went back to office talk. they also reminisced on how awkward they were. my, my. how much they’ve grown.

“you know, y/n.” he reached to hold her hand “me and fred had this huge idea” he started.

“you know how i told you about those times in high school and college where me, fred and our best friend lee would prank people and joke around?”

“of course”

“we’re opening a shop! we have enough money for it now!” he exclaimed.

“george!” she arose from her seat and gave him a big hug “i am so extremely proud of you”. she knew he was passionate about that. she knew about his mom not supporting him and his brother snd wanting them to take a political or medical job.

george felt like he was gonna tear up. this woman us amazing. she supports him about everything he’s passionate about, she makes sure he’s comfortable and she makes him happy. y/n was all he could ever ask for.

“y/n.” george uttered in her ear, finally gaining the confidence to tell her “i have another thing to tell you.”

“yeah, go ahead georgie” she held his face with her hands.

“i — i am so completely utterly drop dead in love with you” he whispered with a small smile “and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, i just wan-“

she cut him off short by pressing her lips against his, forcefully. it took george a few milliseconds to register what was happening until her kissed her back.

she moved her hands to get tangled with the hair on the nape of his neck while his hands were on her waist. they were smiling in their kiss.

when they pulled back they pushed their heads together. “so… did that mean you love me back or..?”

she kissed him again and again on his cheeks and nose. “yes. it means i love you back. and i don’t care what anyone says.”

george paid for tonight’s dinner for a change and they went back to y/n’s enormous flat and one thing lead to another…

[itsclydebitches]

None of them liked Ironwoods growingly tyrannical actions, it's the whole reason Ruby lies to him, he looked shady as hell. They are shown very clearly uncomfortable with what he's turned Atlas into in the First episode. It's just that at the end of Volime 7 he crossed the line.

The key words there are “first episode.” I’ve mentioned on other posts that if the plot had simply continued the forward momentum of the group being disgusted with Ironwood’s choices and working against him (hiding out in the city, gathering like-minded allies, etc.) then we would have been golden. Ironwood is Volume 7’s antagonist. There, done. The problem is what starts in the second episode. Our basic events are as follows:

The group (and audience) learn that Ironwood has arguably justified reasons for everything “shady as hell” that he’s done. The embargo? They are at war with Salem and people have been stealing resources since our introductory trailers (Blake). Soldiers in the streets? That first episode showed that grimm are attacking defenseless civilians and, if the soldiers hadn’t been there to fend the grimm off prior to Penny’s arrival, they likely would have died. Taking resources? That’s to re-establish global communications and enact a plan to stop Salem for good, freeing the world from the danger she presents. 

However, they’re still morally gray choices which our group could have opposed… but they didn’t. They join Ironwood as public allies (standing with Clover and Penny against Robyn), as Inner Circle allies (they learn all of Ironwood’s plans—and we learn that he never lied to them), as huntsmen (it’s his power as general that gives them their licenses), and as fellow soldiers (they are indistinguishable from the Ace Ops in the missions they conduct). Now toss in a bunch of other connections like living in his academy, taking his weapon upgrades, and carrying the Relic. They might not like his actions, but they’re certainly doing everything possible to support and reap the benefits of them. 

Ruby does lie to him… which two in the group oppose (however lackluster that was). Yang and Oscar both question the wisdom of doing the very thing they punished Ozpin for. Ren also develops a strong (if quiet) alliance with Ironwood that will carry into Volume 8... until his semblance changed and he forgot about it. 

During all this there are efforts—mostly through Nora—to condemn Ironwood for his choices. How can you continue to hurt the people like this? Same answer as above: because he believes a short-term struggle is worth the long-term victory. Nora doesn’t agree… but Ruby, the leader, does. She pushes Ironwood to finish Amity somehow.

Which is an incredibly strange stance to take considering she knows that amassing a world-wide army will not defeat Salem. If the group wants Ironwood to stop hurting Mantle, all they have to do is tell him that Salem is immortal… but they don’t. They let him continue under this false belief, despite having more information about this war than he does and despite that information being the key to stopping the harm he’s enacting.

The arc of the volume is not the group choosing to trust Ironwood and then realizing he actually isn’t trustworthy, it’s the group (or rather, Ruby) deciding not to trust Ironwood and then realizing he is trustworthy. We get that climactic scene of Ruby and Oscar simultaneously realizing they should tell him about Salem and Oscar apologizing for keeping that secret in the first place. 

 Note that this occurs after they’ve talked him into telling Mantle about her. So not only is the group not made up of mindless subordinates being ordered about by a powerful general—it’s their advice Ironwood listens to—but now they’ve put an entire city in the position they were in during Volume 6. We’re told, via Ozpin’s arc, that telling people about Salem without including the issue of her immortality is a horrific thing to do. Those like Qrow have supposedly “wasted” their lives fighting an impossible war and the fandom has argued strongly that Ozpin has manipulated everyone involved in this fight by not giving them the full picture. Yet now, the group has spent months keeping that information from Ironwood when his questionable choices are based on that ignorance, and they’ve talked him into telling half his population that Salem exists and they should rise up to fight her… but not the pesky detail that she’s immortal. They did to Ironwood and all of Mantle exactly what Ozpin did to them.

Immediately after hearing that they’ve kept this secret from him the entire time they’ve been here (which he takes very well) Ironwood captures one of their main villains, loses his arm in the process, learns that two in the group have outright betrayed him to a political enemy, learns that despite all their best efforts Cinder has just waltzed into his office, learns that Salem herself is on her way and their defenses are already gone, knows that everyone is exhausted from a major battle… so when he decides to take all of Atlas, the majority of Mantle, and the Relics/Maiden they have to try and get out of Salem’s reach… Ruby says no. What’s her plan? She doesn’t have one. You’re just not allowed to leave.

The problem with the writing is it wants us to believe two contradictory things at once. Looking back, Ironwood is meant to be seen as an unambiguously bad guy in Volume 7, which we know because of scenes like Winter’s fight wherein she condemns him for everything he did in Volume 7, not just Volume 8 stuff like threatening to bomb Mantle. Yet at the same time, we’re simultaneously meant to believe that the group is made up of unambiguously good people who function as direct contrasts to Ironwood. Given what we got, these two things cannot coexist! Either Ironwood was a good man who the heroes backed for an entire volume and there’s no acknowledgment of that, or Ironwood was a bad man… who the heroes backed for an entire volume and there’s no acknowledgment of that either. If the group’s defense is, “We knew he was shady as hell. We knew what he was doing was wrong. We knew he was the bad guy here… but we still helped him maintain power, forward his plans, and reap the benefits of the flawed system for months on end”… that’s really bad. “I supported, assisted, and benefited from the guy who was shady as hell, but that’s fine because I felt uncomfortable about it the whole time” is not the hot take the fandom wants it to be. We cannot make these broad, sweeping statements about how the Atlas military—merged with its huntsmen—is an Evil Thing and then show scenes like, say, Jaune using his military grade huntsmen license to convince a bunch of civilians to follow his evacuation plan. The heroes cannot be Good and Pure while supporting the supposed villains and their systems; or, the villains cannot be purely Bad and Evil if they’re supported by the heroes.

The reality is that RWBY is badly written and this sort of simplistic, inconsistent writing doesn’t lend itself to a topic as complex as this one. To be frank, we don’t even know enough to make informed decisions about these actions because the world building is nearly nonexistent. What are these “resources” and how are the resources to patch a hole in the wall the same as the resources used to make Amity Tower into a world-wide communication device? How much power does Ironwood actually have and what other decisions has he made that impact Mantle? We never hear about any policies to explain things like the poor conditions, or the slum areas with the faunus. Why are the civilians so against the soldiers patrolling when we don’t see them abusing the public in any way, but we do see the grimm threatening them on the regular? Why does Ruby want Amity built so badly—willing to hurt Mantle to do it—when she knows a bigger army isn’t the answer/that telling people about Salem has almost always led to panic and betrayal? Is there really any difference between huntsmen and soldiers here? And if the answer is, “Yes. Huntsmen aren’t beholden to any power. That’s a good thing because following orders is Bad. They do what they think is best” than what are we supposed to make of someone like Rhodes who, apparently, did what he thought was best? If he’d been beholden to some superior there might have been a system in place to help Cinder. As it was, he was left to his own devices and a lot of fans are furious with the solution he, as one flawed individual, came up with. We simply don’t have a good picture of this world and when we do, things constantly contradict. It’s good for huntsmen to make their own choices, but only when Ruby does it, not Rhodes. It’s bad for heroes to keep the Salem secret and tell lies to their allies, but only when Ozpin does it, not Ruby. It’s bad for someone to try and save who they’ve got, but only when Ironwood does it, not Ruby, who apparently left Atlas after failing to create portals for her Uncle, Robyn, the Ace Ops, Pietro, Maria, and an entire army.

The way that the fandom gets around these problems—because too few are willing to just acknowledge that they are problems and RWBY is shoddily written—is by simplistically comparing RWBY’s military to a real world one. I cannot tell you how many posts I’ve come across that amount to, “Imagine thinking the teenage girls are the bad guys when a military general is right there, being a military general 😒 ” Those posts imply that fans like me are too stupid (too brainwashed, too close to “bootlickers”) to be critical of the military, but I assure you, that’s as far from true as can be. Those posts are trying to conflate real life politics with a fantasy story whose world looks nothing like our own. The is not a question of being critical of the military, it’s a question of being critical of RWBY as that fictional text… and that fiction never established any of the military problems we deal with in the real world. It might have (very easily), but it didn’t. Is Ironwood leveraging his people to conquer others or go after wealth? No, his world has literal, unambiguously evil monsters to fight. Does he amass power out of a desire to control the people? No, he lays out his exact thoughts on how these measures will help protect against those monsters and a witch. Does the military abandon its soldiers after war, leaving them with few resources and fewer prospects? No, we never see anyone struggling in that manner and one of the most prominent tragedies—Yang losing a limb—is answered by Ironwood personally sending a replacement to her home. Is the military at least built around propaganda, painting civilians an inaccurate picture of Freedom and Glory to convince them to fight? No, we see no propaganda, Ironwood—since Volume 2—has been focused on replacing people with robots and our entire story is built around one child’s desire to fight the exact same battle. Why do you want to be a huntress, Ruby? Because I want to help people! And that goal is never painted as a naïve outlook that Ruby becomes disillusioned with. Posts like the one mentioned above bank 100% on the reader mapping real life military criticism onto RWBY… rather than actually looking at the world RWBY built, what choices the characters make, the amount of information we’re given (little), and whether that in any way reflects our current, political problems. It doesn’t. 

I’m never going to pretend there weren’t problems with Ironwood’s decisions. In fact, I love that this was actually a conflict in Volume 3 that gave both sides a fair shake: is it better to scare people and have an army at the ready to defend them, or is it better to keep them in the dark and potentially be defenseless? Ironwood’s kind heart bumping up against extreme measures is what made him compelling, especially when the story was having him grow in the “right” direction (AKA, listening to Ozpin). His treatment of Penny is another big issue, creating a whole ass person to serve as a military defense tool. That’s horrifying! So he’s absolutely had his problems long before the writing had him turn into a trigger-happy murderer, but part of the issue here is that the writing doesn’t acknowledge those problems in other characters. If Ironwood is “shady as hell” for forwarding a military agenda and using military resources… then so is Ruby, the leader who backed that for months. If Ironwood is “shady as hell” for funding the creation of a person to defend his kingdom… then so is Pietro, the scientist who not only built Penny, but came up with the idea in the first place. He’s not some defenseless victim who was forced by the evil Ironwood to create something morally reprehensible, he suggested it! The same way Winter wasn’t some defenseless victim who was forced by the evil Ironwood to go along with these plans. She supported them, agreed to be his Maiden, and was the first to suggest martial law! Yet Ruby, Pietro, Winter and their like are all presented as unambiguously Good People, whereas Ironwood is presented as the unambiguous Bad Guy—and when a lot of fans went, “But you’re not writing him like a Bad Guy? Especially when we compare him to the heroes?” we got his sudden, OOC murder streak in Volume 8. But it doesn’t work. Either the group is made up of morally gray/bad people because they did the things our antagonist Ironwood did, or Ironwood is not the morally gray/bad person the show insists he is (prior to Volume 8) because he did the same things as our heroes. You cannot give us that plot, those choices, that agency and insist on both at once. This problem has existed ever since we got an entire volume about how simplistically evil Ozpin is for keeping this secret… only for Ruby to immediately turn around and keep it herself, with no acknowledgement that either a) Ozpin wasn’t the bad guy then or b) Ruby is as bad as he is. But the show wants Ruby to be the Good Person in every situation, no matter how much she models her behavior after those she deems her enemies, and Ironwood’s arc only increased that problem tenfold.

[absolutepokemontrash]

do you think that L MC, A MC AND M MC would say to their other parent about wanting to stay with their dads? and what would the dads think???? Love your work

Ooooo I’ve actually been meaning to do something for this! Also thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!

So all three kiddos are technically living with their dads, it’s generally... safer for them than living in the human world where they could accidentally wreak havoc. But the three do visit their other parents a whole bunch! It’s only fair for the people who had to go through raising a demon baby all on their own.

L!MC’s parent, I like to think they’re just SICKENINGLY sweet. Literally the perfect friend and neighbour, they bring over cookies, make you feel good about yourself, etc. Etc.

They don’t have any super strong magic or anything but they are aware of the Devildom, the Celestial Realm and all the shennaniganery. Though... L!MC’s dear ren is very, how do I put this..? Mind numbingly terrifying when they want to be?

Their glare could make even the most powerful demons shiver in fear...

To answer the question for L!MC’s ren, they’d be very happy to let their baby stay in the Devildom after being assured that L!MC is absolutely positive that’s what they want, and as long at they got regular visits and phone calls.

Lucifer probably had on his smug douche (tm) smile when L!MC said they wanted to stay in the Devildom with him, but in his head he was going “oh thank fuck my kid actually likes me...”

It’s a good thing Lucifer and L!MC’s ren actually have a very good co-parenting relationship.

“So, how is your cursed music collection coming along?”

“Quite well actually, I’ve added a few more actually cursed pieces in recent years.”

“Wait, ren, you know about the cursed music?”

“We met when I was playing a cursed piece on stage, your father assured me I would die in a terrible accident in the next fifteen minutes if the music was actually cursed.”

“As you can see, the music was not cursed because we’re having this conversation long after the fifteen minutes passed.”

“Wow... how romantic.”

M!MC’s ren! Okay, I think that Mammon got summoned into the human world randomly by someone he owed money too, and Lucifer just... forgot to let Mammon back into the Devildom. Luci probably had a killer hangover and didn’t notice Mammon was gone for like, a week.

So in the week Mammon had free reign of the human world, he got his flirt on and probably definitely stole a few things from M!MC’s parent before bidding his goodbye. So uh... M!MC’s ren does NOT think very positively of Mammon.

They love M!MC with all their heart and soul though, no bad parenting in MY self indulgent headcanon series. All the bad parenting is saved for Himiko’s parents.

M!MC’s parent probably got the hint that their kid was a tad... different when their head started spinning around like Reagan from the Exorcist.

Is there a support group for single parents with demon children?

So when M!MC says that they want to stay in the Devildom, their ren is very hesitant to give their permission and also very mad that Diavolo and Lucifer picked their preteen kid for an exchange program without consulting them first! M!MC had to swear up and down that this was a good thing and that everything would be fine, it still took a while, but eventually M!MC was given permission to stay in the Devildom.

It’d be no secret that Mammon would have been DREADING the end of the year when his kid would have to leave... he really loves that little brat okay?! So when M!MC said they wanted to stay, Mammon was practically over the moon, he was totally willing to play servant to M!MC’s other ren to help convince them to let their kid stay with him.

“I’ll do anything! Literally anything in the whole damn world!”

“Give me back my Rolex.”

“I can do literally anything but give you back your stuff!”

“Dad...”

M!MC visits and calls their ren as much as they can, because they’re a good kid god dammit! They love their ren!

A!MC! A!MC! A!MC’s ren! I’m torn between having them be a loud extrovert and having them being a nervous wreck, but either way...

I don’t think they’d know about the Devildom beforehand, so when a half demon baby is suddenly eating every cookie in the house just because they asked for them, A!MC’s ren was worried their kid was either a very charismatic manipulative two year old OR demonspawn...

It’s a blessing and a miracle that A!MC grew up with their powers of persuasion and didn’t end up as a cult leader or something by the time they were ten...

A!MC’s ren was probably ecstatic to find out that A!MC had met their dad and there was an explanation for all the weirdness. They were probably hesitant to give their permission for their kid to stay full time, but after seeing how much A!MC had grown they couldn’t say no...

A!MC goes up to the human world almost every single weekend and holiday to give their ren souvenirs and tell them about all the cool stuff they did that week.

Asmo gave A!MC a hug that could rival Beel’s in terms of bone crushing strength when A!MC told him they wanted to stay. He also probably visits A!MC’s ren with them, just to hang out.

“Hey babe, how’ve you been~?” *seductive eyebrow wiggle*

“Dad please-”

[billionairesitgirl]

Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it...  but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying..... 

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important 

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes. 

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making. 

(b) what makes them mistakes 

(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else 

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of... 

Make 3 categories

 .....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...) 

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself  and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.  

Man plans and God unplans ... 

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.)  What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried. 

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself. 

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing. 

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present. 

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark.  As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest.  The men moved on from her. 

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard - 

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure? 

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored).  Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”...  Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it?  Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off? 

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there? 

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a  leg up -  

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box? 

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful. 

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive... 

e.g  : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of. 

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more;  that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them. 

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs... 

With regards to your question...  About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year...  (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is. 

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach. 

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

[normal-thoughts-official]

I would have loved to see more interactions with the seelies- people who can’t lie but are crafty and secretive sounds fascinating. Think of the dialog! Alec going to magnus for advice since he has centuries of experience talking to them, Alec playing mental chess while trying to maintain peace. Would have loved getting more- but let’s be real, Cassaundra and the show writers weren’t clever enough to actually make any conversations like that of value.

SAME!!!!! honestly i would have loved to see so much more of the seelies. like bro do you understand that their culture predates the VERY EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY??? they are the ONLY kind of downworlders whose culture is completely detached from any human culture, not only because of predating it, but also because of the relative isolationism - which means human culture barely had any influence on their culture and history AS it developed

so like you can literally go fucking bonkers??????????? you can make ANYTHING. they have a whole ass society that doesn't have to have ANY ties to mundane concepts or history AT ALL. complete creative freedom. you could do ANYTHING! and don't get me started on the potential this has, within storytelling, to contextualize a lot of stuff modern western culture sees as natural or timeless as actually pretty fucking specific - like monogamy, cisheteropatriarchy, the gender binary, racism. all immortals have that potential of course since they can come from an array of different cultural and historical backgrounds but seelies in particular have SO much potential that is NEVER! FUCKING! USED! it all goes to waste and they are just a generic vaguely monarchic society that behaves literally exactly as modern western cultural standards. WHY. i'll never stop being salty, especially within sh where all this potential was there and instead they just villainized the seelies like no tomorrow for nO FUCKING REASON, and included a whole plotline about their ruler being a terrible power-hungry person and then proceeded to act as if that would have no influence on the seelies under her rule? thanks for nothing

like i know the seelie queen was so badly written that her own motivations even as a power-hungry wacko didn't make sense or were consistent (like why give simon the mark of cain for example, and for god's sake what kind of power-hungry crazy bitch gives their main enemy the power to literally kill her and destroy everything she has at the blink of an eye, like??? she literally tried to assist in her own genocide, it makes no fucking sense, i fucking hate it here) but if they are going to make her Terrible the least they could do was show how that impacted the people under her rule, especially if they are going to have meliorn be fucking tortured and either forced to display the marks of said torture or choosing to display them themself, like? please give your plotlines one singular thought

but of course it's easier to villainize seelies and reduce them to their obviously tyrannical ruler so they can go back to focusing on the shadowhunters and their issues. nevermind the fact that seelies are obviously equivalent to native ppls/third world countries resisting colonialism/imperialism in sh's stupid ass racial metaphor, which makes making their ruler a big bad unequivocally evil villain that is ruining everything A Choice. and a particularly choicy Choice considering they cast a middle-eastern man to play the most important seelie character. but if they are going to do that they could at least address how the people under her rule suffer and how that's a direct consequence of shadowhunter colonialism and interference, but why would we fkcnig thdo that!!!! when we can have love triangle drama or whatever

and tHEN there is the whole aspect of being unable to lie which is bound to have such an impact on their culture and history since they have to rely on other forms of communication to protect themselves - and considering the whole "tyrannical rule" plotline, to further the queen's agenda in the first place. and how telling the truth without preamble would probably be considered a huge display of trust in a society that has culturally developed so many ways of talking around things. like again the potential of the cultural and historic background for that society! it makes me go insane!!!

anyway all of that to say #JusticeForSeelies and #SeeliePlotlinesNow 2021 and forever. and YES i would have loved to see more interactions between them and other characters, particularly magnus because 1- admittedly i'm a hoe; and 2- magnus was clearly the one that had the most experience talking to seelies and that others relied on for that communication. he also seemed to be the most comfortable with them, which indicates there is either some sort of history there, or magnus just happens to feel relatively at home with the workings of their culture. which makes sense, because magnus also had to develop pretty similar defense mechanisms due to his, A- work as a warlock representative who has to interact with shadowhunters on the regular; B- history with having to deal with asmodeus, which required him to be very smart about what he disclosed and how, especially considering that he had to have been planning banishing asmodeus for a long time before he got to do it; and C- just history with abuse in general. we've seen the way he closed his heart off to new people; but at the same time, magnus is obviously an extrovert and likes to be around people in general. this meant that, in order to be able to both be in the kind of environment where he thrives and protect himself/his heart/his feelings, he had to learn how to interact with people while putting on a convincing façade, which requires pretty much the same sorts of wordplay and defense mechanisms that seelies use

magnus is good at wordplay, he's good at using talking to his benefit; we've seen that. he is also good at hiding and deflecting. he is notably not good at directly lying - every time he directly said A Lie such as "i am perfectly fine and not bothered by this at all :)" it was way less convincing than it was a clear display that he wouldn't budge. even alec, who has difficulty with social cues, noticed the lying and seemed concerned about it. so like. clearly his defense mechanisms were less lying and more dancing around subjects, directing conversation to safe topics, and guiding people to making certain assumptions and seeing sides of his that were safer and he preferred

so in that way it makes sense that magnus is somewhat in his element when dealing with seelies. i think "comfortable" is a strong word because this whole song and dance takes a huge toll on anyone's mental health and energy (which i think is something that could be very interestingly explored in seelies, their collective psyche, and their culture, the way they build relationships, etc. let meliorn have partners they feel 100% comfortable talking without preamble with 2k21), but it's something he is used to and a dynamic he can fall into without as much effort as others who would be second guessing themselves more and going slower, which clearly gives the seelies, who are used to it, an advantage

and like i know that i'm implying a confrontation or sort of situation where they are on opposing sides to seelies here, which i kind of am because i am thinking mostly about magnus' interactions with the seelie queen specifically, since she was the seelie he had the most meaningful interactions with. his interactions with meliorn were very few and almost never relevant, i barely remember them happening outside of generic downworld cabinet interactions tbh. but i don't just mean that because again, stop villainizing seelies 2k21

i also mean just generally that magnus would be in a more comfortable position talking to seelie strangers and slowly working into building a relationship and mutual trust. and just generally understanding them and the workings of their culture because he can empathize with the way they have built their social defense mechanisms. no one is 100% truthful to strangers, but seelies always seem kind of- analytical. and the cultural difference + anti-seelie racism makes them seem untrustworthy to most people, but magnus Gets It, so the potential for friendships! and the mutual understanding and the relative comfort around each other! and both parts understanding the enormity that is letting their walls down gradually and being more direct as time goes by. like.... aaaaaa

and yes magnus becomes a sort of reference on talking to seelies, mostly because he is good at "playing their game", but also making it a point to humanize seelies and making the other parts understand where they are coming from and how they feel :) and just improving their relations, particularly with other downworlders

im not going to get into alec because 1- the relationship between shadowhunters and seelies is already filled with oppression and a lot of complications, and particularly now that the seelie realm is politically fragile due to the loss of their ruler (however terrible she might have been), it would play into either white savior narratives or just straight up colonialism, especially given how alec as a leader already has a history of trying to build tutelage over downworlders (i don't care what his intentions were, it's still true, and although he's learning... well. he's learning, continuous action); 2- that would be more a relationship of opposition and i'm not that interested in that. but i would love to see seelies rebuilding themselves and their relationships and alliances with other downworlders particularly, and all the better if magnus is playing a part in that :)

in short:

more seelies

more magnus with seelies, especially friendships

more focus on the politics of seelies now that the seelie queen is gone

more seelies

more seelies

more seelies

[mediocre--writing]

George Weasley headcanons with an S/O who's a Metamorphmagus?

Summary: Being friends with the twins results in the best time of your life, but when George begins to distance himself, what’s going to happen?

Word Count: 1580

Warnings: none

The twins always found you fascinating

Your hair, when you were younger, would change color depending on your mood

As you grew up, around third or fourth year, you gained almost complete control over your emotions

However, they still flare up sometimes

Only when you’re really emotional, does your hair change involuntarily

For example, when someone

Lets say a particularly nasty slytherin

Is trying to insult your friends and family

You might get a little hot headed

And by that, I mean your hair turns bright red

But that’s the only time it ever really happens

Anywhoooo…

Your dynamic with fred and george is really sibling-like

You goof around with each other

You have fun

Tease one another

Etc., etc.

But recently, in the past year,

You and george have had a weird tension between you

It’s not like you can’t hang out anymore

But it’s more awkward than it needs to be

You’d always been close

Ex:

Falling asleep on his shoulder after cuddling on the couch after a long day or a hard prank

Or

Glancing at one another from across the tables in the Great Hall, just to make goofy faces to see who would crack up laughing first

Or

Always dancing, rather playfully, together at Quidditch afterparties

Which eventually leads to jokingly waltzing to a slower song

Fred would always tease you and tell you that George was absolutely head-over-heels in love with you

You never wanted to believe him, but a small part of you hoped that it was true

You liked the moments you shared

George made you feel butterflies, but also a sense of calmness

The past two weeks, or so, however, was a different story

He hadn’t talked to you at all

It was weird

You could feel your hair itching to turn gray, a sign of sadness and rejection

But you refused to let it change hues

You would see him and Fred, who was still talking to you, though still quite sparsely

But you’d finally had it

You were going to find George and give him a piece of your mind

To be honest, they were your only friends, and you weren’t as sociable as they were

So you’d found Fred first

Because he still talked to you

And you stole the Marauder’s Map, not giving him a reason

You searched and searched for George’s name, but you couldn’t find it anywhere on the map

Which was strange

Until you remembered

You can’t be seen if you’re in the Room of Requirement

So you began your war path down to the Room of Requirement, the roots of your hair slowly growing in their red hue

Once you finally got to the right floor,  you began going down the halls, but hiding behind a stone pillar when you saw George hugging someone, the door behind them slowly fading into the regular wall

Curious, you tried to peek around the corner without being seen

Then you saw who it was being hugged

Angelina Johnson

The one he had dated two years ago for a long time

The one he was so heartbroken over when you’d broken up

You couldn’t see it, but the red roots you had began to slowly fade into a blue-gray shade

It wasn’t like you were dating George, but after he broke up with Angelina, you’d gotten closer and closer and you did coupl-y things

And you’d always been a little self-conscious around Angelina

She’s literally beautiful

And smart

And funny

And a great Quidditch player

What were you?

A metamorphmagus?

But what did that matter if you had nothing else to be proud of?

Apparently, Fred was wrong

George leaned down and said something to Angelina, who smiled at him before walking away

You went back to your dormitory

Pulled the curtains around your bed closed

And cried

More like sobbed, but you needed to let it all out

Why should you even be upset?

It wasn’t like George had professed his love or anything

You knew that he was in love with Angelina before

Who’s to say he wasn’t still in love with her now?

Of course he will

Everyone loved them together

They were a power couple

Unbeknownst to you, Fred had been looking for you everywhere

Mostly because you took the map and he needed it

But also because you hadn’t talked to him in a while, then took the map, and he was worried about you

He ran into George on his way out of the common room

“You seen Y/n recently?”

“You know I haven’t, Fred,”

“Yeah, why are you ignoring her exactly?”

“Because I can’t lie to her! She reads me like a book and she’d know that something is up!”

“I still think it’s stupid,”

“You’ve made your stance on the topic quite clear,” George rolled his eyes

The boys separated again

Fred never ended up finding you that night

He also got George more worried about you too

You weren’t at dinner either

And you never skipped a meal

You were close to Ron in how much you’d eat in one sitting

It wasn’t until one of your roommates came over to them and said that you were upset and not planning on coming down tonight

Which freaked both of them out

When you were sad, you went to George

He was sweet and kind and would hold you if you wanted to cry

So why hadn’t you gone to him?

...Because he’d been avoiding you

Ughhh

Right

So george, being the kind person he was,

Bribed your roommate to get everyone else out of your room

then

He snuck up to your dormitory, which was much more difficult than previously thought

But when he saw you

His heart broke a little

Your hair was fully grayish-blue

And you had tear stains all down your cheeks

And the white part of your eyes more red than white

But you were asleep

Probably wore yourself out from crying so much

He sat softly on the edge of your bed

Rubbing your back softly, he watched your relaxed face become tensed as you woke up

“Hey,” He said quietly as your eyes adjusted to being opened

You almost started crying again when you realized that George was in your room

“Hi,”

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t answer, but sat up, pulling down your sweater vest, realizing that you never changed out of your school clothes

But you shook your head rather than answered his question

You both sat in silence for a little longer, neither knowing quite what to say

“What did you need?”

“I heard you were upset,”

“Oh..”

**more awkward silence**

“Where have you been recently?”

(Please don’t say with Angelina, please don’t say with Angelina, please don’t say with Angelina, please don’t say with Angelina, please don’t say with Angelina, please don’t say with Angelina)

“I’ve been planning something,”

“‘Nother prank?”

“No, something for someone,”

“Be a little more vague, Georgie,”

Why were you being so accepting to him right now?

You wanted to hate him

You wanted to hate everything that had to do with him

But it was impossible

“Fine,” He jokingly rolled his eyes as he scooted to sit against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder with you

“I’ve been planning a surprise, something really, really big…”

You weren’t sure if you liked where this was going

“For you…”

Ok maybe you liked where this was going

“Because I was going to ask you on a date but I didn’t know what you want in a date, so I’ve been asking everyone on the Quidditch team, and I set up the room of requirement to have pretty lights and stuff, and I asked the house elves to make your favorite foods because I know you’re really picky and love hogwarts food. I also couldn’t talk to you because once I get started on an idea I can’t stop thinking about it, then I can’t stop talking about it--”

“Hold on?”

You felt like you couldn’t move

“Did you just say that you wanted to go on a date with me?”

“Yes.”

George felt like he said that with much more confident then he really felt

But he felt much more reassured when your hair began turning a shade of pink

The only time your hair had turned pink before was when you were asked out in second year and you swore it was the happiest you’d been

And George felt responsible for your happiness in that moment

Which made him feel elated

The moments after didn’t need much of an explanation

Nor would any words do it justice

But you both sat in silence

shoulder to shoulder

Until George built up the confidence to grab your chin

Pull your face to the side

Then your lips touched

Your hand rested on his cheek

Both of you smiled into the kiss and purely happy laughter bubbled from both of you

His face was almost the same shade as your hair

And the next night, after a long day of classes and longing stares

You had your sweet first date

In the room of requirement

With twinkle lights

And your favorite foods

And it was better than you’d ever thought it would be

And George knew that

Your pretty pink hair said it all

[demonwifey]

Mommy’s Kissing Who?🎄🎅🏻

Hey guys! Hope you all had a safe and amazing holiday! So this idea literally came to me right after listening to “I Saw Mommy Kissing Beetlejuice” and knew I had to post it for you guys to see. While you’re reading this just keep in mind I didn’t make the reader’s daughter Skye even though she was the one signing it. I’m bad at names so you’ll see the daughter go by she and her for the entire thing. Think about if you had a daughter and what you would name her. Hope you guys enjoy!💚💜🖤  

Beetlejuice x black+fem!reader

Warnings: cursing, hints of sexual themes

Word count: 3,688

“I can’t believe I’m gonna ask this but, Beej, just please try to be on your best behavior.” You practically begged, clasping your hands together near your chest for added effect. 

The demon man let out a hearty laugh before snapping his suspenders against his chest. His costume was like a mix between his normal suit and an actual Santa costume: red and white striped, his regular boots, and a Santa hat to top it off. You thought his overgrown green beard would’ve been a giveaway to your child at least. 

“Come on, babes. Give me a little credit! I’m gonna be the best damn Santa these twerps have ever seen.” He reassured you. His confidence should’ve made you feel at ease but it didn’t. No that it mattered, it was too late to turn back now. You both looked up as the Scout Leader announced his arrival from outside the small room you two were in, basically queuing him to come out. 

“It’s Showtime, babes.” He said to you and gave a flirtatious wink before walking out to the young girls yelling in excitement. 

You watched as they all scurried to huddle around him. You watched your daughter closely, thankfully she didn’t recognize Beej and the other girls didn’t notice anything off. Maybe he was right, you should’ve given him more credit. You straightened your dress and fixed your hair out before making your way over the other parents as they all watched with joy. 

“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas, you little shits!” You heard him yell loudly across the room. 

You stopped in your tracks and your eyes widened almost comically at the sentence you just heard. You prayed to any other worldly being out there that it was only your imagination. When you looked up at the other parents, you could see it wasn’t. Their faces matched yours and they quickly turned their eyes towards you. Yeah, this was going to be one long night. 

****

You didn’t know how you could’ve ended up in a worse position. You were in charge of one thing for the Girl Scout’s Christmas party: get someone to play Santa Claus and have him hand out the girls merit badges. All the other parent’s handled things like food, decorations, etc. It’s not like it was a hard task for you to do. Hell, you found and booked a guy at the beginning of the month. Everything was fine on your end, until two days ago. Your Santa Claus called saying he was sick with the flu. You’d already had a few mishaps with Girl Scout events in the past, so this was your chance to show the other parents that you weren’t a total screw up. Yet here you were on your laptop, scrambling through different websites to try and find a new person to play Santa. 

“Hey Mommy, which shoes should I wear for the party tomorrow?” You heard your daughter’s perky voice ask from behind you. As a reflex, you quickly slammed your laptop screen down and looked at her with wide eyes. She stood behind the couch with each hand holding one shoe from a different pair. 

“Hmm, I think I like the black ones better. They’ll match your badge belt.” You faked a casual tone. 

She looked at the shoe you chose, like she was thinking for a moment, before nodding in excited agreement and running back to her room. You strained a smile as you watched her go before letting out a frustrated sigh and once you heard her door close. You were doing this, not just for the other girls, but for her as well. Your daughter always got so excited when someone mentioned Santa. How shitty would you feel if you had to watch her face turn to disappointment when they were all told Santa wasn’t coming? The mental image alone made your heart sink to the floor. You leaned forward to drop your head into your hands and let out another sigh; this one being much louder. 

“Hey, keep making noises like that and I’m gonna get turned on, babes.” You heard a familiar voice coming from the side of you. 

You didn’t even need to move your head to know it was Beetlejuice. You loved the demon to death but right now, you were in no mood to joke around. You could tell he sensed that when you didn’t respond. You didn’t see, but he awkwardly scratched the back of his head before sitting next to you. He placed an equally awkward hand on your back and started rubbing circles on it. 

“Uh, you’re not gonna start crying are you? I’ve always been bad with that sort of thing. I mean, I had to watch The Notebook with Adam and Barbara one time and I had no idea what to do. They just started sobbing and saying “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird” to each other and it was the stupidest thing I’d seen-” And you stopped him before he could finish. 

“No, Beej, I’m not gonna start crying. But, God, do I want to.” You said while sitting up, his hand still rubbing circles on your back. “It’s like I had one job and it went straight to shit in one day. I’ve looked everywhere for someone to play Santa last minute but they’re all booked! And I don’t have any family members or friends that are free either. Ugh, as if they’d actually do it.” 

The room fell silent for a moment. There was no point in even opening up your laptop again. Not to say you gave up...but you basically gave up. 

“What about the kid’s sperm donor? Maybe the Christmas spirit has him feeling less like a piece of shit.” Beetlejuice spoke; half joking, half serious. You scoffed but then let out an actual laugh. He moved his hand to around your shoulder before and you laid his chest. Your fingers started absentmindedly playing with his tie.  

“If you’re referring to her father, he hasn’t been around since she was one. I doubt anything would make him less of a piece of shit.” You responded. You hated the guy for running out on you and your daughter but you’d never have him around Beetlejuice. You already knew Beej would have murder in his eyes as soon as he’d walk through the door. You moved your neck upward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, showing that you appreciated his attempt to make you feel better.

“Well, at least this'll be an excuse to ruin Santa for her. Just walk in and say “SANTA ISN’T COMING BECAUSE SANTA ISN’T REAL!”. Rip the band aid off. It’ll be great.” He joked, looking down at you with a sinister grin on his face. There was no doubt in your mind that he wasn’t joking. 

You let out a defeated giggle before flipping his tie up to hit him in the face. You were about to give him another kiss before you heard your daughter’s voice again. 

“Beetlejuice!” She screamed before running around the couch to jump between you two. You both laughed at her sudden presence before Beetlejuice placed a hand on her head. 

“What’s up, anklebiter? Have too many sugar packets before bed?” He joked and her own laughter wasn’t far behind. She quickly climbed on top of his lap and pulled out two of her favorite scrunchies from her pocket. 

“No, silly! I need your opinion. Which scrunchie would look better for my hair tomorrow?” She asked, much like asked you about the shoes before. 

Beetlejuice was always so good around your daughter. Most guys you knew ran for the hills when they found out you had a kid, but somehow, this rude and crude demon didn’t. Maybe it was all the time he’d spent with Lydia but he fell into the ‘cool dad/uncle’ role very quickly. Not that you were begging to have that figure in her life, it was still nice to watch them interact so naturally. You laughed as Beetlejuice plucked the different color scrunchies out of her hand and examined them closely. 

“Nope, neither one will do.” He twisted his face at them before tossing them both to the side. Your daughter only blinked in confusion as she watched Beetlejuice reach into one of his jacket pockets. 

“This one is way more suitable!” Suddenly he pulled out a black and white striped scrunchie with a glitter covered green and black tulle bow at the center. You’d been with Beetlejuice for a while so thankfully the both of you were used to his magic. Your daughter squealed in excitement and grabbed the scrunchie out of his hand.  

“Beej, you can’t keep giving her presents before Christmas.” You laughed, still watching her as she gawked at her new accessory. The demon man ignored you, knowing he was only winning her heart more and more each day. “Alright, now what do we say?” You asked, giving her a knowing look.

“Thank you, so much BJ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” The child didn’t hold back her enthusiasm as she jumped to give him a tight hug. Beetlejuice let out his usual scratchy laugh while giving her a few pats on the back. 

You watched their interaction before squinting, an idea popping into your head. 

“There’s no way...” You thought to yourself, but the image stuck in your head. Once you saw it, you couldn’t unsee it. From his perfect chubby body to his earthy laugh, you could tell he was the perfect fit for your idea.

“Alright, mini me, time for bed.” You shook yourself away from your thoughts and placed a hand on her head. She turned to face you with a large pout on her face. You stopped her before she could even protest. “Teeth and pajamas, now. I’ll be in to help with your hair in a minute.” You said softly but sternly. 

The girl turned to Beej for help but he only shrugged, already knowing not to protest against you. She dropped her shoulders in defeat before saying thank you one last time and giving him her own cheek kiss. She soon shuffled away to get ready for bed, still giggling about the scrunchie.

“Ya’know, doll. I like it when you get tough. It really does something to me.” The demon man wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes before making your way over to him. You swung one leg over his lap and straddled him, using your hands to hold and squish his cheeks together. Beetlejuice didn’t waste time using one hand to hold your thigh and the other to grab your ass. 

“Beej....” You started, staring into his golden eyes with a look that was nothing less than seductive. It didn’t take long for Beetlejuice to be wrapped around your finger. His hands started rubbing slowly in their respective spots as you moved down to pace soft kisses on his neck. “....how would you like to do me a BIG favor?” You asked.

****

Being the amazing boyfriend that he was, Beetlejuice said yes to your favor of him being the replacement Santa, at the cost of you being a wreck the entire event. Did you ever stop sweating? No. You were so used to Beej’s crass behavior at home that you didn’t think about how bad it would be to have him around other people. He started telling you all the ‘fun’ party tricks he had planned for the night. As soon as he mentioned giving the girls candy bags full of dead bugs, you realized the mistake you might’ve made. 

There were more lows than highs throughout the night. Beetlejuice would make crude jokes every chance he got. Most of these jokes went over the girls heads, but their parents didn't find them very amusing. Even in your panicked state, you would have to divert Beetlejuice back to his original task. God, don’t even mention when you got close to him. It’s like he’d lose track of what was even happening to openly flirt and make lewd comments about you, in front of everyone. You lost count of how many times you had to say “haha Santa I don’t think Mrs. Claus would like that” before pinching him and making him get back on track. When it was time for food, he ate the scouts’ precious trope hamster. He played it up as a gimmick but you knew the gruesome reality of it all. The glares and stares from the adults in the room burned deep holes into your back. If you had the option to let the ground swallow you whole, you would’ve taken it.

When it finally came time to pass out the Scouts’ merit badges, that surprisingly went with minimal ease. Again, he was making odd jokes but it wasn’t the worst thing to happen all night. When he got down to your daughter, he was a lot more kind with his words than he was with the other girls. You thought he would’ve blown his cover to her as he went on a 10 minute long speech about how great and deserving she was. He was eventually stopped by the scout leader who cleared her throat to get her attention. You weren’t sure if it was the anxiety you’d been feeling all night, the sweet gesture from Beej, or the look of joy on your daughter’s face, but you were just about on the verge of tears. Despite the craziness of the night and the emotions that were flooding your brain, seeing the two of them laugh together made it all worth it.

****

After a long night out, you were finally back to your apartment. You shuffled through the door with her fast asleep on your shoulder. As soon as you got her in the car, she was out like a light. Now all you had to do was get her into pajamas and put her to bed. As you tucked her in, you could already hear Beej calling in his invisible state. 

“Babydoll~ Told ya’ I was gonna be the best Santa ever. Come on, say my name. Say it so you can sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas~” His scratchy voice echoed from behind you. 

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes. Thankfully your daughter was fast asleep so she wouldn’t hear anymore of Beej’s lewd humor for the night. You stroked her hair for a second before getting up to walk out of her room, making sure to leave a slight crack in the door. You weren’t free from Beej’s voice as you put some things away and tidied up your living room. He was practically begging for you to say his name. Sure, you were being petty but he put you through hell tonight. A little payback never hurt anyone. Especially when you knew it helped fuel a little feral anger him. Angry Beej was your favorite Beej. 

After about 30 minutes, you could feel the air in the room growing a little warm. You smiled to yourself, finally feeling as though you’d tortured him enough. You whispered his name slowly and sensual as you possibly could. As soon as you finished with the last syllable, you didn’t have time to swat away the thick green smoke surrounding your face before you felt his arms wrap around your waist. His nose was practically touching yours and you noticed the mischievous grin on his face.  It didn’t surprise you that he still had on the Santa costume and soon you felt him pepper quick kisses on your neck. 

“So tell me little girl, have you been naughty or nice this year?” He asked in between kisses. You let out a light giggle as the hairs on his beard tickles your neck. 

“Aren’t you supposed to know that already, Santa?” You asked with added sarcasm on the name. He ignored you as he started nipping at your neck. “Anyway,” You stopped him by grabbing his cheeks with your hands. The way his face looked squished between your hands was too adorable for you to handle. 

“Even though you were giving me anxiety all night, I still wanna say thank you for doing me this favor. It really means a lot.” With your words, you used one thumb to gently rub against his cheek. He didn’t even try to hide the goofy smile that filled his face. The only thing missing from his costume was the Santa hat so you could see the baby pink color that started to creep up strands of his hair.  

“Aw, don’t sweat it, doll. You know I’d do anything for you and the kid.” He said so nonchalantly. It wasn’t until you gave him a fond smile that he realized what he said. It was rare for Beetlejuice to be anything less than crass. Whenever he showed moments of sincerity, it made your heart feel warm. His hair only got pinker as you looked at him with hearts in your eyes. 

“I still want to show my appreciation. Seriously, what can I do to say thanks?” You asked, already knowing the type of answer he’d give. You watched as he acted like he was thinking for a moment. Just as his lip twisted back until an evil smirk, you felt one of his cold hands make his way down to your ass and give a gentle squeeze. 

“Wellllll, how about a kiss under the mistletoe, babes?” He leaned in closer to your face. 

You assumed he would’ve made one appear over you because you didn’t have one hanging anywhere in your apartment. A small puff of green smoke appeared in front of you but when you looked above, there wasn’t mistletoe to be found. Beej still had the arrogant smirk on his face as he watched you look around in confusion. After a second, it finally hit you. You made the mistake of looking down to see said mistletoe resting on the belt above his crotch. When you looked back at him, he wiggled his eyebrows. The annoyed sigh you let out could’ve been heard throughout the whole building. God, this guy was such a dumbass. 

“Well? You gonna thank me or what?” The demon man asked, giving your ass a harder squeeze. You ignored his question and reached down. He seemed to get excited, but you disregarded his expectations that when you plucked the mistletoe off of his belt and held it above your heads. 

“Don’t get too cocky, dweeb.” You saw that he was about to protest but you pushed your lips against his before he could. 

Kissing Beetlejuice was nothing new but somehow this was a little different. You just remembered how sweet he was to your daughter and the interactions they’ve had. You thought about how you loved seeing them together. You thought about how much you loved the three of you being together like a family, like the family you’ve secretly wanted for so long. You put all of those thoughts into the kiss. All the love you had for Beetlejuice, you put into your kiss. 

He was a little flustered at first, but eventually got in sync with you. He could tell you were putting your all into the kiss and was determined to do the same. You dropped the mistletoe to the floor and wrapped your arms around the man’s neck, pulling your bodies closer together. Beej let out a small grunt as you let your tongue slip it’s way into his mouth. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into with that. Not long after did Beetlejuice shove his own freakishly large tongue until your mouth, and later down your throat. You tried your hardest not to let out a loud moan once you felt the wetness fill up your mouth, but you knew that’s exactly what Beej wanted to hear. 

Even though you wanted to go longer, it would’ve been easier to finish what you started in the bedroom. Your daughter never caught you and Beej in the act, thank God, but there have been times where it was a close call. You hesitantly pulled away from the demon man, and it took a second for his tongue to leave from your throat. You gasped for air as your hands rested on his chest. You could see the ready-to-go feral look on his face as he rested his forehead on yours. 

“Was that a good enough thank you?” You asked, letting out a slight laugh. Beetlejuice let out a heartier laugh as his golden eyes glowed bright like stars. 

“I think I could use a little more convincing.” His scratchy voice echoed through your ears as he leaned down to wrap his arms around your thighs. You didn’t have a second to think as he lifted your body off of the ground and threw you over his shoulder with ease; one hand rested on your thigh and the other held a tight grip on your ass. You tried not to laugh too loudly as he carried your to your bedroom, ending the night in hours and hours of lovemaking. 

With being so wrapped up in each other, you didn’t see your daughter peeking from around the hallway corner. Even though you thought she was fast asleep, Beetlejuice’s presence had woken her up while she tucked you in. She snuck out to watch in both joy and disgust as you two basically made out in the living room. She was glad to see you happy but it was still gross to see her parental figures kissing at all. With Beetlejuice still being in his Santa costume, she was able to put two and two together. She didn’t necessarily stop believing in Santa but she was glad Beetlejuice played the part for her. 

The young girl scurried her way back into her room and gently closed the door so you two wouldn’t hear. Boy, was she gonna have a story to tell her fellow Girl Scouts.

Thank you guys so much for reading! See you guys in the New Year!💚💜🖤 🎉

[randomoranges]

I'm pretty sure you've mentioned it before but what tribe does Étinenne belong to? Any specific details you can give?

Bonjour – hi hello pardon for the delay

I got super busy with work and stuff and then had to think of the answer because this is not a straightforward question haha and then had to revise the og answer to make it better.

Anyways this is going to be a Thing and a little bit all over the place but here we go.

As they say in the vernac’ attache ta tuque a’c d’la broche à foin.

Bref.

So

The island of Montreal was before colonisation a meeting hub for different groups of first nations. They’d come to what is now the old port area and trade, exchange, meet up, etc. But not no one really stayed permanently esque in that gen area in a long term type of way.

Keeping that in mind, Pointe à Callière is currently the museum that has the ruins of the old Ville Mariefortifications from the Maisonneuve era.

Both areas are super close to one another. Like it’s part of the same area.

After MUCH consideration and going back and forth (thank you 5ever @allbeendonebefore for the help – the real MVP) I’ve come to these following thoughts.

For starters, it’s more particular with étienne because Montreal is a city – but it’s also an island and a few years back they tried to like unite all the cities of the island into one giant city on the island. To some success. So – what path did I want to go with? And also both paths have their pros and cons and things that make it easier and harder.

I always chose the island one because it encompasses the Important Areas of the City and the ones with the Most History, so it’s easier to include More. Ish.

Ét would have started off as just Some Guy who appears where Pointe à Callière is. He’s a regular dude and he likes the vibe of the place and the comings and goings of the people in the area so he sticks around and lives his life. People (the First Nations people who were using that area as a trading/exchange/meet up hub) would tell him stories of their adventures/things that happened because ét seemed trustworthy and because he was the “local guy” who just happened to be there and et is curious and does fit in with crowds really well. Ét ends up “collecting” these stories and obviously finds them fascinating.

Throughout his early days, he picks up on these tales, makes connections with people and lives an ordinary life by the heart of the river and at the foot of the mountain [poetic license here]. Élyse may be his only constant by then, but their relation isn’t as close as it would be today. She too would come and go but she’d be the only one coming and going as frequently and because she too does not age like a regular human, ét would assume that’s the standard. The others who come and go don’t necessarily come back so he’d think little of it – or he’d see them again Much Later, so Clearly It’s Fine.

He isn’t aware of a bigger role he may or may not have just yet.

There would have been other “avatars” of the first nations groups that would come and go and they would have traded stories with étienne as well and that would be how he would get the cartiertales from the St-Laurent Iroquoians [who are, according to history, the group that happened to be there when Cartier showed up]

For now, étienne without knowing is like the personification of the Meeting Spot where everyone meets up. He has a connection to the spot but he’s still unaware of his raison d’être. Of course, he yearns for a sense of belonging, but whenever a group comes over for a bit and he thinks this might be it, it turns out that it’s not.

Eventually, by the time the Mohawks come and settle on the territory, they would be the first group that would make an actual real connection with Étienne and like invite him to join them. And seeing as Étienne has longed to belong to a Group, he’d join. Also since they seemed to actually want to stay in a more permanent way and not just – well growing seasons done so long and thanks for all the fish.

Étienne equally being a quick study of languages would also pick up really quickly and he’d fit in nicely with the Mohawks who could see potential in him/him being an asset.

It would be around these times that he’d start to realise that people around him – that he’d met just a few years back – that were just like him what feels like the other day – are changing when he isn’t. And it’s prolly around then that he realises he’s different from the others in his community and question why. The answers he gets aren’t satisfactory, but he grins and bears it and keeps searching for Others Like Him and he wonders if maybe those others whod swapped stories with him before, with warnings and caution knew something he didn’t.

The interesting thing with PAC as well is that they’ve done this thing a few years back called the Memory Collector – collections of memories and whatnot from people who’ve come and gone through Montreal from the og Montréalistes to current immigrants and everything in between. So Étienne being the actual Collector of Memories through people coming and going and telling him their stories is like – perfect.

He’d move around with the Mohawks and it would be the first time he’d feel as though he’d belong to a group so he’d associate with them as an identity.

In my humble opinion, my thoughts have always been that when Maisonneuve and co arrived and tried to get a village started, étienne, being the curious being he’s always been, woulda been intrigued by these newcomers and would have wanted to see how they lived compared to him and the people in his community. Also, with Maisonneuve and Co wanting to get a village started in like his area he woulda been like well hello neighbours! Come, come, here is the land! Enjoy!! So, he would’ve prolly wanted the others of his community to do the same and want Maisonneuve and Co to welcome the ways of his people as well. In his mind he doesn’t understand why these two groups – and others – can’t get along and just live peacefully together. He’s seen enough bloodshed and it’s Exhausting. He much rather have those evenings of trading stories and having a good time.

Also, an interesting note is that Cartier mostly just came, saw left-ish compared to Maisonneuve who was like “aight, let us live here Permanently” that changed the dynamics and also pulled at Étienne who again was like I Want Friends.

In the og village of Maisonneuve and his Montréalistes [yes, that’s what they were called at the time] there were different first nations ppl who decided to live with Maisonneuve and Co. So it’s not always easy to be like ah yes, étienne woulda belonged to X and Y. Hence this rambly mess.

Obviously and unfortunately, there were way too many conflicts btwn Maisonneuve and Co and the first nations folks and that would upset étienne who woulda wanted all groups to get along. In his opinion there were many resources for all to live happily. The Grande Paix de Montréal [1701] would have given him Hope TM that things could settle down once and for all.

On a side note, before Maisonneuve and Co arrived, Étienne would have not used the name Étienne. That would come post colonisation but I’m not sure when. At the time he would go by Tiohtià:ke.

In the early days of Ville Marie ét woulda still been more “first nations” than “bonjour I am now a Montréaliste” but he woulda offered his services/employment to Maisonneuve as a voyageur after a bit, because on top of errthing else ét woulda been hella intrigued by the idea of exploring the world and the fact that there were people who crossed the big ocean and who lived so completely differently from anyone hed ever known woulda boggled his mind and also to get away from the hot mess of conflicts going on. He woulda thought the Grande Paix would have brought back the earlier trading hub/story swap vibes, but too many bloody conflicts he was tired of made him want to get a change of pace. Plus the fact that now he felt Attached to Groups so no longer needed to just Wait. And also the fact that said Groups were Not Getting Along would have made him want to Leave.

After a while of that, around [18XX] he woulda settled in the city and like been a merchant of sorts. [im still working on the notes and details, but he’d get tired of the trips and the conditions and it wasnt just go out and have fun and explore but there were too many issues as well and he just – wanted to have a good time, really, so hed go back to the city and change again]

By the 19th century, whatever ties with his og first nations roots he had woulda been completely washed away by the colonisation of the island – especially by what is now the old port/ville marie and he would have tried Real Hard to Fit In because of his curiosity and wanting to live like these european folk and because of how shite the first nations were being treated. George-Étienne Cartier would have been an Aspiration of his and someone he would have modeled himself after [way of life, personality, etc]

By that time he would also consider himself as French and first nation (Mohawk) as a second and maybe even third thought. Equally, compared to some other avatars, I feel like Étienne would have “lost himself” and is now unfortunately more disconnected from his OG first nation roots than others might (think Ed). The colonisation + the large amount of euros that came to MTL would have given him whiplash for years and would have been like a tidal wave over his head. All of a sudden the village boomed, it was a city and there were more of these french cathos than anything else.

For a good part of the 19th and 20thcentury, he would have identified as Catholic and French with very little regard to his first nation roots. The og village of Ville Mariewould now be an actual thriving and important city and offering more opportunities for growth to him/suddenly MTL city is super relevant. He’d get swept up by the fast pace and the “glamour” and pretty words and it was easier to just go with the flow than to fight. He’s always been someone of good times and parties and of celebrations over everything else and obviously it wasn’t always easy for everyone in the city, but it certainly is when you know the right people and you’re on the up and up as an Important City.

Post Oka crisis (1990s), I think he would have started lowkey thinking about his first nation roots again. Mostly because the crisis shoved it in everyone’s faces in a big way that hadn’t been heard in a Long Time. And maybe slowly slowly like veeeerrry slowly reconnecting. But feeling v lost and overwhelmed by it bcs is that even still him? Was that ever even him? And if not then what the heck even bcs thats like centuries of his life just – forgotten and lost. But to a point he’d also relate with the immigrants who’d come to his city and then feel alienated from their og roots. And then also like even going back to it it’s not even what it was Before, because the Mohawks changed over the centuries as well [duh] as most groups do. Like with any language and expressions and fashions and such from any place.

Eventually at some point in the 21st century he would reconnect more and make his own amends with his identity and the multiple facets it has as well as coming to terms with certain events that happened btwn the euros and first nations over the centuries. The Catholic identity would peter down post 1970s, but the french id would stay even though he likes the multicultural aspect. Theres just something about being a little shit and also being Different in a Sea of Same, etc

In the end, he would attach himself to being Mohawk + French origins since those two would really be the two first groups that gave him a sense of like “belonging” in their own way. [And, obvi he’d belong to the queer community lamao]

Literally coulda just answered your ask with: Mohawk, French, Queer Lamao bit I turned this into a Thing TM oupsee.

And I totes hope this actually Answered the Question and you didn’t mean something completely different LAMAO

[redstaratmorning]

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Astarion

Ahoy there me hearties! It is time to embark on yet another long voyage into the seas of discovery and character exploration, to fill in the details of the blank map with speculation and musings alongside the occasional sea serpent drawing! Tonight we are once more focused on Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3, and we set sail with navigation logs that include Scents And Sensibilities, or more specifically how both taste and smell might impact Astarion as a vampire and his perception of the world. The second major topic of speculation would be the one that gave this post its title: amnesia possibilities with speculations on the influence of torture and starvation for induced memory loss. This is of course all speculation based on early access content, so beware of spoilers upon the horizon! Content warnings include discussion of food items, consumption of food, consumption of rotting food, graphic descriptions, maggots, insects, emetophobia, vampirism, blood, dark backstories, abuse, torture, horror, and other themes typical of the Baldur’s Gate 3 setting. Spoilers for both Baldur’s Gate 3 and some spoilers for Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Amnesia: Justine included. Google story details of the Amnesia series at your own risk, these tags are intended to be reflective solely of mentioned elements in this essay, not of all potentially disturbing content in those games.

So with the starting fact of how closely the senses of taste and smell are in real life, what does this mean for Astarion and other vampires in DND when it comes to how things smell versus how they taste? Referencing another of Pjenn’s fine posts regarding everyone’s favorite local vampire spawn, Astarion has a line regarding consuming a treacle tart from Auntie Ethel’s cottage: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [click here for a link to said post]  Now this could just be because Auntie Ethel is a hag and cooks horrible food, and according to tumblr there are poisonous apples to be found at her place as well. [Alas no post citation to confirm the poisonous apples.] If Astarion’s reaction isn’t due to Ethel being a terrible cook, and is more to do with the fact that he’s a vampire, then that’s a horse of a different color. Presumably, through speculation based on his surprise and lack of disgust prior to consumption of foodstuffs, standard humanoid foods likely still smell or at least smell similar to how they used to smell to him when he was alive. An apple still smells like an apple, as it were. It may just be that instead of Astarion feeling hunger at the smell of an apple, it might be more akin to smelling pleasant like apple-scented perfume or such though for him...curiously, that would suggest that he did not try or more likely could not try to eat anything of the sort under Cazador’s rule. On that note, it would be a certain flavor of tragedy for regular humanoid foods to still smell appetizing and edible to Astarion but taste like ash in his mouth, or worse. But how does food fit for vampires smell to Astarion? Namely, blood, of course. Though one might wonder at rare steak or other cuts of meat still bloody to the taste—could he eat beef tartare and enjoy it, for example? Sashimi or other raw seafood? That’s straying into headcanon territory though. Back on topic, in the one camp scene where everyone is feeling ill with the beginning sensations of ceremorphosis, he mentions “I can smell the blood in your mouth” on one dialogue branch. It could be that the two are standing awfully close together while discussing matters, and/or the MC’s bleeding a pretty significant amount and the scent is quite noticeable, or Astarion’s got a pretty keen sense of smell, or a combination of the above. It probably smells pretty good if it tastes as good as Astarion’s reactions and comments would strongly suggest, and if we’re going to go wild with fun fantastical interpretations, I’d put forth the idea of Astarion being able to smell the difference between different people’s (or animals’) blood at close range. If Larian puts the following datamined not-present-in-game-yet scene in, the former idea would tie in very nicely with how Astarion speculates on how the different companions’ blood might taste, from this datamined text post once again kindly provided by Pjenn. [click here for text post link, bottommost “tastingparty” section] Transcription of some of the possible lines in question (not in the game at time of writing, and possibly may not appear in the final game): “Take Gale, for example. He strikes me as someone whose blood is rich, refined like a well-aged brandy.” “Take Wyll, for example. A man of the people, very palatable, like a sweet cider.” Above lines chosen for their more descriptive wording, thus why the other party members (both current and future as of this time of writing) are not added in the above examples. Astarion is quite colorful in his descriptions of how he thinks some of the companions’ blood would taste, based off of their personalities. So what does everyone’s various MCs’ blood taste like? There could be delightful variety based on the details of the various MCs’ personalities and personal life histories, I’ve seen some explorations on the dash here and there which is delightful, and I’d shan’t say no to seeing more. It is a beautiful opportunity for character exploration regarding the MC, Astarion’s perception of them, the reality of who they are (and perhaps Astarion shifting said perception of them), and all around a great potential moment to have some fun writing descriptive prose if one is so inclined. One internet search later, I will say that it appears that reddit and other google search sources do seem to suggest that in real life the blood from various different species of animals looks and tastes different from one another, even without going into factors such as age and health’s impact on blood. If we as normal humans are able to tell the difference in that, it seems reasonable to think Astarion would be able to do that and more with supernatural augmentation as the basis for that line of thinking. What do people smell like to him? Different from one another one might suppose. Is that part of what informs his imaginings and wonderings about how their companions’ blood might taste? Individuals tend to smell unique to some degree, due to body chemistry among other factors. One would expect blood to be a factor in that, seeing as that’s how many hormones and such get sent about the circulatory system—which might mean Astarion (and our potential future weregnome companion) may have more of a time having to deal with the whole party foregoing soap for better or for worse, unless Gale or Shadowheart have a Summon/Conjure Soap spell, or perhaps the MC is a ranger who can find a soap plant. Not a great time to have a sensitive nose potentially, though foregoing soap and thus additional layered scents like floral infusions and such might be beneficial. One can only imagine hunting might turn out better for the entire party’s dinner-scrounging efforts by not alerting the local wildlife that there’s someone about who smells like a potpourri bowl...though that’s another idea, does Astarion volunteer to go hunting moreso for the party in order to be able to drain blood from the kills? One would bleed and gut a carcass anyway as part of the processing, so who would know if he drank it dry versus bled it out with a knife from a tree? Moving on though, imagine what it must’ve been like the first time after he rose up from being turned and he smelled another living person’s blood, only to feel his mouth suddenly start watering. Was he confused? Repulsed? Horrified? Startled, but accepting? There’s potential ripe for the picking to interpret that in any number of ways, including conflicted and complicated in multiple directions all at once, which his actions and emotional depictions might suggest so far in early access. Imagine the torment of being ravenous every night—and I am personally impressed that Astarion actually can keep his mental faculties and presentation together well enough to seduce someone given potential speculation of his physical state,—and knowing only a meager portion of the most putrid, rotting rat flesh awaited him back at Cazador’s mansion, while he had to interact and seduce with people who smelled just so good to his vampiric senses. Consider the added twist of the knife in Cazador’s torment of Astarion with the fact that one can consider saliva to be filtered blood—if one headcanons Astarion as actually being quite physical with his seduction up to and including kissing of any kind. Consider also, the fact that if Astarion has shared a kiss with one of the unfortunate victims-to-be, he might have more of an idea of what they might taste like but must also now sit and SMELL their fresh-spilled blood right from the vein, right there in front of him, and watch while Cazador enjoys his own supper, while being forced to down a disgusting rotting carcass under threat of punishment. [in-post content warning: Graphic description of rotting dead rat carcass, food, maggots, etc in the next paragraph] Did Astarion throw up the first several times? Cazador would’ve surely punished him for so “rudely” rejecting a dinner all set out especially for Astarion and everything. To get to the point where one can consume let alone look at and smell a plate of rotting food,—specifically a dead rat with the fur still attached, the guts bloating up and putrifying from within, that very well might have live, wriggling maggots in it,—and not vomit? It must be one hell of a potent cocktail mix between primal hunger-driven desperation and fear of punishment applied over a prolonged period of time for Astarion to actually be able to consume that, let alone look upon it. This essay by the by will not be doing any in-depth exploration of the overarching situation relating to the victims’ point of view, as I feel that’s been implied in previous meta posts by both myself and others on Astarion, in the “Clearly The Other Victims Have It Bad Too And No One Deserves To Suffer Cazador” thread of implications.  We are however acknowledging that all of this experience for everyone else, aside from Cazador, is Fucked Up And Very Very Bad. Continuing past acknowledgements of the large moral cluster of ideas over yonder, let us move forward into the “present” time when Astarion has joined the party, and no one is as of yet aware that he is a vampire. Consider the scenario where he can smell their individual scents, but it’s nothing he hasn’t handled before, even if he seems to be...curiously free of the immediate need to get back to Cazador right away, while still wrapping his head around this bizarre new reality of walking in the sun. The inescapable reality of how different everything looks bathed in the all encompassing colors of sunlight, compared to moonlight and lantern light. Be it the blinding yellow, white, and blue of the noon time sun, or the violent golds, oranges, reds clashing against the violently deep blue shadows of night’s approach during the fall of twilight, or the brilliant and mellow pale grandeur of all the world’s color coming to life as the dawn breaks forth...it has been so long since last he saw any of that. Do you think he sat up specifically to watch that first dawn, while the other companions slept? It’s a beautiful thought. But I would follow that with the unfortunate potential consideration that he is starving—and when hunger eats away at one’s mind for long enough and in a demanding enough fashion, it can be remarkably difficult for a person to feel much of anything save very faint echoes of emotions or on the other extreme end only the strongest emotions, and more often than not those emotions are very likely to be the negative ones. Just about nobody’s happy when they’re starving after all. Astarion may very well feel awe at seeing the dawn again, but how deep does that feeling go, when instinct is screaming and gnawing at his very bones to insist that he is hungry? Famished. Starving. Appreciation for beauty is a privilege that is hard to enjoy at all in any degree of depth when the basic needs are wailing inside one’s head so loudly.  And he can smell his companions’ blood, even when they’re not bleeding. He has also smelled their blood spill out into the open air too, during fighting. How does that eat at him, how does that sharpen his appetite so? Does it make his stomach twist in pain to smell what his senses are clamoring for and labeling as food so close, so near, as he slowly loses his mind waiting all day for the party to break camp so he can try to slip away and hunt? Does he catch anything? He does find some animals canonically in some encounters, but there is no guarantee he will find enough without expending strenuous effort, assuming he finds anything at all on a given night. And his luck does run out eventually it would seem. One night he just doesn’t have any reserves left in him to go hunt down another animal, to take another gamble that’s stacked even higher against him with how badly off he is. Does he feel an uncomfortable chill set in, cooling his blood and rendering his flesh even colder than his normally low body temperature standards as his undead form slips just a little bit closer to a semblance of true death, whether or not he can starve to death as a vampire? Do his hands shake? Can he think at all as thoughts fade in and out from hunger-induced weakness? Can he think through the haze of sensation and awareness if he breathes in through his nose, his open mouth, inhaling a lungful of the smell and taste of living blood right there? The smells that he’s grown familiar with over these last few days? The companion origin for Astarion definitely seems to spin it towards needing to know if he can resist Cazador’s orders now, but consider this thought: imagine the progression of realization that Astarion might have as he considers the idea that he could resist Cazador’s rules, with the lack of magical-compulsion to return to Cazador’s side right away. That if Astarion himself is no longer bound by those supernatural, unyielding, magically-enforced laws, he can also drink the blood of thinking creatures. He can drink the blood of people. He can drink the blood that he’s been smelling the enticing scents of this entire time. The blood that is right. There. And he is starving. Imagine how that must feel, that pupil-dilating moment of realization as muscles tense and the next breath comes in as a sharp inhale at the instantaneous, primal understanding that you can have food, real food, good food, right then and there when you feel like you’re dying for something, anything to stop the hunger from eating you alive from the inside out. And all you have to do, is take it. Humans in real life can potentially have very predatory responses to hunger at times, especially when it comes to hunting down prey animals, and when it comes to spotting an easy meal when one is working on empty reserves. Imagine how that can scale up for a vampire...and for Astarion, this is the first time he’s been free to actually choose to act on those instincts. Cazador’s rules have always been the backbone holding him in place as surely as the mindflayer prison pods kept everyone well and truly trapped—until our merry lot was broken free. Now though? The only thing standing between Astarion and his sleeping, delicious-smelling companions’ blood, is his own will and choice. That has to be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He’s never been free like this—free, with vampiric needs clamouring for his attention. Free, as a vampire, spawn or otherwise. But does he want to? I would actually suspect he feels conflicted about that on multiple levels, given a possible line Auntie Ethel might say should you fight her. ”You’re one thirsty night away from betraying everyone!” [One of Auntie Ethel’s taunts when using Vicious Mockery during her potential fight, linked here in astarions-ears’s post.] On the one hand: the power to take what he wants, what he needs, is at his fingertips. Much like how the power of the tadpole is. It could help him protect himself, be stronger, do whatever he wants...just like the tadpole power. This whole situation is a mess of temptation in the long term for Astarion in so many ways. On the other hand though...I suspect based on that line from Ethel above, assuming it makes it into the final version of the game, given that it’s used during a casting of Vicious Mockery, I would say there’s fair grounds to assume Astarion does have at least reservations about betraying the party, at the very least with the hesitation given rise from self-serving desires such as wanting to have a group of people in his corner. I would say though, it wouldn’t cut so deep, and wouldn’t be so vicious a mockery, if he didn’t care that it was betrayal. I think it safe to say that if he truly didn’t care in some shape or form, Ethel would’ve ended up mocking some other aspect of Astarion’s personality or insecurities, likely something along the lines that everything he does is futile as he will still end up killed or enslaved by either Cazador or others (such as the party and MC having so much sway over his life and choices), rather than needling him about betrayal of all things.  Another reservation he might have from lack of experience is that he’s never hunted other people for his own food before. He might never have hunted for someone personally of his own free will before this point, either. That little nuance could be a hook on which he hangs onto for dear life—or unlife—in order to keep what remains of his perceived identity. Who does he want to be, and among those details, what must he be, in order to survive? What can he avoid doing? Does he want to be what he perceives as a monster? Is he hoping not to become a monster, to validate that he isn’t one already, based on his conversation after you catch him trying to steal some of the MC’s blood? “I’m not some monster!” There’s also the line from the post-Raphael first meeting, “If I keep the tadpole, I risk turning into a monster.” which all seem to imply that Astarion draws a line between what he thinks is and isn’t monstrous, much like in the first meeting with Astarion where if you tell him about the tadpole, he laughs bitterly and goes, “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster.” Isn’t that an interesting turn of phrase? It implies so much fertile ground for speculating on what he thinks of both his own vampirism, and what precisely makes someone or something a monster. The MC has come into Astarion’s life at such a fascinatingly crucial point in time, beyond just Astarion’s sudden new freedom, however fragile, from Cazador. Because of that freedom, this is also the time of exploration and self-definition for Astarion to decide who he is, and who he will be, a coming-of-age if you will, which is hysterically ironic and well-played by Larian Studios in my opinion given that he is almost assuredly going to be the chronologically oldest member of the main party. This dovetails so very neatly into the MC’s already obvious potential influence on how Astarion views his condition, other people, the world around him, his own self and morality...it’s really just so rife with potential. This particular part is nothing too new, just added detail and layering on top of previous musings in past posts, but there are elements of interest to examine I think. Personally, I was inclined to guess Astarion as being older, even as elves go, based largely on the fine lines one can see upon his face when he’s emoting, some elements of his attitude and dialogue—(“A fine effort, but I’ve seen it all. I was walking this land while your ancestors were learning to crawl.” - said if you fail a skill check during his recruitment scuffle)—but looking at some of these other elements has me reconsidering that. Perhaps he was more on the young adult side of the elven age range, rather than middle aged prior to being turned? If he can retain scars as a vampire under the living conditions Cazador subjected him to, perhaps he also has stress-related aging tells, since it seems from other DND materials (Curse of Strahd I believe has a vampire locked in a basement that’s largely starved of blood if I recall correctly? I am uncertain of the details regarding the situation unfortunately) that vampires can at least show physical deterioration when it comes to being starved for blood. It would be an entertaining take in my personal opinion to see an older character having a coming-of-age growth type arc, since those are almost always strongly associated with a relatively narrow range of ages from teenaged-to-middle-twenties-ish protagonists and characters. Whichever way Larian goes with it though, it is looking quite promising just based on the overall quality of the various game elements so far. To build on that possible theme interpretation though, there is another element that I think ties into Astarion’s uncertain age as well—how much he remembers of his life before Cazador, and how much life there was to remember to begin with. One might generally presume that the older a character is, the more time they’ve had and thus more opportunity to learn, to be exposed to life experiences, to garner wisdom. Often, this also tends towards a certain amount of cementing of a person’s outlook, personality, and other core traits along with potential varying levels of self-awareness regarding those elements. It goes without saying that people do still change sometimes dramatically other times gradually over the course of their lives, but typically the more easily-influenced vibes commonly go with younger and/or more naive character builds, though not always of course. Without addressing significant or otherwise notable exceptions, specific nuances or variations though, there is something of a vague expectation and template starting-base that older characters and personalities are typically more “put together”, “collected”, and less likely to be outright mutable. Astarion though? As a character in an RPG that is built upon the foundations of choices, in a DND world where choice IS the defining feature in both character expression and storytelling? His core will remain as himself I’m sure, but by the very nature of the game attempting to make this an enjoyable experience for the audience, odds are very good that Astarion will be heavily influenced in his outlook into a set number of branched endings based on what the MC chooses to say and do. But I have some potential suspicions now that Astarion might actually be a touch more malleable in some parts of his outlook and manner beyond the influence of just the aforementioned elements above. Consider the following lines Astarion currently has in Early Access, including one mentioned previously: “Hell’s teeth! Was solid food always so foul?” [Said in the previously posted link above when eating a treacle tart for presumably the first time, stolen from Auntie Ethel’s before illusion is lifted.] “I’ve seen so little of the world. Still, there’s time now.” [Looking at a globe, post linked here, from Pjenn’s blog] “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies. Was that normal?” [If you kill Mayrina’s brothers and Auntie Ethel disappears into thin air. Video from Danaduchy on youtube linked here] “Probably wise. No one gets that old and crooked playing by the rules.” [Same conversation as above mentioned in the video regarding Auntie Ethel if the second option “I’m not sure. We should watch ourselves around her.” is chosen in response to Astarion’s question.] While one could certainly retain youthful or what one might call immature or dramatic inclinations even through to one’s golden years, I am on the fence on how far Astarion’s presentation is strictly personality-based versus influenced by a possible lack of diverse life experiences. Nature versus nurture, as it were. The first of the above quotes seem to suggest he hasn’t done much traveling, and may have some wanderlust in him (potentially hinting at moon elf wanderlust leanings?), but then why wasn’t he out traveling? Why did he become a magistrate? There is much life to be lived in great depth and diversity when one stays in one place, true. But we really know so little about Astarion’s past before Cazador, all in all, and that intriguingly puts him back in step with most of the other companions at this point of backstory reveal, I’d say. If we include Cazador’s influence, I’d say we’ve seen quite a bit more of his story than most of the others because there’s a lot more visibility and immediately-threatening emotional tension in his story, even when compared to Gale’s, surprisingly, followed by Wyll’s, Shadowheart’s, and then Lae’zel’s as of what I personally have seen of their stories (my knowledge may be lacking, even as far as Early Access content goes.) To be fair though, Astarion is the one who thus far shows the most visible, dramatic expressions of fear and trauma regarding his backstory than all the rest, so that would be a major factor as to why it feels like we’ve seen more of his tale, among other factors. Regarding life experiences within a more geographically limited area though—that puts some of Astarion’s comments as even more markedly odd to me. Specifically those comments of his after Auntie Ethel poofs away into thin air, should the party slay Mayrina’s brothers for Ethel, “I haven’t spent much time with helpless old ladies.” Perhaps his specification is the helpless part, but even if he was spending time with powerful old ladies, who asks “is it normal for the elderly to disappear into thin air like that?” He must have met some older people, ladies included, as Baldur’s Gate is not a strictly elven city, according to the wiki its demographics are mostly human but widely diverse. [Link to wiki page here.] This is especially strange if he’s of a noble background and was ostensibly working with other government officials, one would expect a range of ages with plenty of older individuals present both in his work and social circles, even if only in passing. That’s just not adding up, especially if it’s a genuine question, which his expressions and tone of voice during his inquiry in addition to his responses afterwards to the MC’s various dialogue options all seem to suggest if not confirm. If that question was coming from a young character who hasn’t seen the world, one would assume they were just incredibly sheltered. What does it mean coming from Astarion? What’s even stranger is that Astarion is the one who baits the MC into a trap using a similar disception upon meeting—”Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered!” One would think Astarion would recognize a ruse like that as one of the oldest tricks in the book: pretend to be helpless to get someone else to do the dirty work for you. Such a trick often is pulled off well especially when the pretender is either a) pretty/handsome, b) innocent looking (young or otherwise), c) dressed in a uniform or clothes that have helpful connotations for snap judgements in one’s favor (e.g. wearing good-aligned clergy garments), d) helpless looking (young, old, specific subgroups depending on culture, disabled, etc), or has other elements to their advantage there. If Astarion doesn’t recognize that particular ruse, which he doesn’t seem to, that has additional implications going on for him. If he did recognize the ruse, one would expect his reaction to be much more in line with Shadowheart’s. If he recognized it and was hiding it, one would think he wouldn’t want to play stupid, if only for pride’s sake—for all that Astarion has done things that have unquestionably humbled him, his penchant for verbal wit and criticism (various insults aimed at the MC and others regarding their intellect/stupidity) and touchy ego makes playing stupid seem like a very emotionally taxing and potentially painful thing for him to do, and thus not worth the mental/emotional effort in what looks like a very low-stakes situation. He seems too impulsive and reactive to be planning out a long-term con of hiding his intelligence, he makes far too many quips to pull that off at this point. Assuming Astarion does indeed not recognize the ruse beforehand, some of the possible implications for that could speculate on his overall awareness of his techniques when it comes to deception and manipulation. He definitely can spot it on occasion based on a narrated internal monologue line presumably from his origin— *I gave her a hard look. Never play a player.* [Linked to the audio of this line here from scionsandsinners’s blog] That he spots it in the potential origin line above, but presumably not with Auntie Ethel, might suggest that his experience is likely limited to within certain restricted lanes of behavior, likely seduction were one to guess based on what we know of his backstory and some datamined emotional directions/descriptions for voice acting, along with speculation based on his in-game behavior and demeanor. That would potentially push him moreso towards appearing when being manipulative to be doing so out of either self-perceived need (e.g. defending personal interests, inquiring after information of interest, etc), learned response, social norms, and other short term motivations that are more situational than long-term planning. I admit I’m still personally not of the opinion he’s playing a long-term game, and is playing it by ear as he goes—both honestly and not-so-honestly, as mentioned in previous posts on the subject. [Mentioned past essay post of mine linked here] In regards to short-term machinations, I think they’re all largely emotion or survival driven, as far as we’ve seen. I would include the voice acting direction for the romance scene where it’s noted that this is a power game for Astarion and that he’s an old hand at seducing others. Specifically from the synopsis: “For Astarion, this is a game of power - one he’s played many times before in the taverns of Baldur’s Gate, trying to lure people back to his master. He’s an old hand at seduction, very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” [Link to Pjenn’s post here.] I’ve seen intriguing, angsty, and fun takes on what this might mean all around tumblr, so allow me to offer up an additional one that might either compliment some of the already circulating pre-existing ones, or stand on its own depending on personal preference. Consider what power means to Astarion in the context of seducing someone specifically when it’s to lure them back to Cazador’s mansion under orders. It truly isn’t power in the sense of anything one might consider meaningful even under broad definitions. It’s a short-term deception, appealing to someone enough to get them to do what he wants for a short time, likely just enough time to flirt and then bait them back to Cazador’s estate (we’ll be skipping over speculation of anything else Astarion and company might get up to between point A and point B in this essay for simplicity’s sake, though there is much to consider on how it might impact his behavior and outlook there.) One of the specific words of interest I would say is the use of “script” in there. I’m sure others can hear it too when they listen to his dialogue during the party romance scene, but it really does sound like he’s putting on a tried-and-true act that might come across as a little over the top in romantic-dramatic-flair. One potential inference that can be gleaned from this might be some of Astarion’s expectations regarding how people perceive him, and most specifically how people perceive him in a desirous way. I will admit, Astarion’s romance scene makes me laugh, I'm impressed he and the MC both can avoid laughing at his lines in-scene, no disrespect intended. To me, he sounds like he ripped those lines straight out of a torrid romance novel, the kind where women might have a momentary description of heaving, delicate bosoms barely constrained by their bodice laces, while the men have had their shirts ripped open to display rippling muscles in a moment of romantic daring do. It makes me wonder if someone will go with a modern AU idea of BG3′s main crew that includes Astarion moonlighting as a much beloved romance/erotica writer under a nom de plume—the man has lines and characteristics that would shift well in such a verse-transposition. With that comparison in mind, I would suggest that Astarion is very, very used to playing the role of the illicit lover, the tempter of passions and other archetypes wherein he is the one confidently enticing people to cross the line of propriety with him for the implied, unspoken promise of a night filled with unparalleled ravishment. It might be he is fully, intentionally playing up to people’s fantasies about the passionate lover who falls madly in love with them at first glance. The fantasy of being so madly desired, as put forth by some romance stories. Then we have this other portion of the acting direction for the scene, “... very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.” Isn’t that interesting? “Very self-assured at first,” why only at first? What changes? Does he have little doubts springing to mind then, because the realization that he knew, but didn’t really know until this moment when he feels the difference, that this isn’t just another routine night like all those other countless nights over the past two centuries where he had to tempt some poor, unfortunate soul back to Cazador’s waiting clutches? That this is someone he’s picked to spend the night with, solely for his own motivations, with no one else pulling the strings? Is it another moment of the realization of freedom, wherein he feels a touch terrified? Suddenly there is no script, there is no expectation of what he’s seen happen time after time after time after time to each person who’s looked at him the way the MC is looking at him now. Is it anxiety? Is it trauma? Is he feeling a moment of distant, cognitive dissonance that this time, this time, this person whom he’s picked, won’t be dead at the end of this? That he doesn’t have to hold them at arm’s length with the they’ll be dead soon or worse mentality he may have had previously...but can he afford to care? Does he dare? Whether he does or does not, it could be such a scary little moment of epiphany, that he even has the option to do so without immediate, horrendous repercussions. But can he really care, even without Cazador looming overhead as an immediate threat? Even if Cazador is slightly more distant now...there’s still the matter of the tadpoles. There is so much uncertainty potentially. Could this be the last chance he gets at having as close to a normal night of fully consenting, fully aware, mutual passion with another person as he can ever have, as a vampire spawn? Astarion could be interpreted as a character who is very strongly ruled by his emotions, in particular his fears and his desires. Does it befit his fears or his wants more to engage as he does in the romance scene? I’d guess moreso his fears, but it’s a fun back-and-forth he’s got as a character, zigzagging between those two extremes. He fears trusting as denoted in the dialogue from him if you fail the persuasion check asking him to trust you and to talk about who he dreamed about, but since you can persuade him...does that mean he wants to trust? If he speaks truthfully in this following scene, he does trust the MC to some degree out of necessity and/or the want to trust, as mentioned if you use the illithid powers in the camp bite scene where he’s revealed to be a vampire. He has likely been alone among the crowd of Cazador’s other spawn, given the lack of mention of anyone else, friend or otherwise, in his banter with Shadowheart regarding if there was anyone waiting for him back in Baldur’s Gate and other general conversations and discussions. That’s rather concerning truth be told, to go two hundred years with what might be a complete lack of positive or healthy social connection. Another thing Cazador has ripped away intentionally, it would seem. Does he want connection, meaningful friendship or otherwise? The fact that his approval rating has an impact on his manner of address of the MC or other selected origin character seems like it could be read as a suggestion that he does show whom he likes and dislikes openly in fairly standard socializing behaviors. That he does want to spend time around people whom he likes, who like him back. What would’ve been terribly clever of Larian (said without being able to compare all the different levels of approval shown via dialogue general greetings from the different companions), is if they had a character whose greeting was still amicable, polite, and most importantly friendly even when their approval of you was low. What if such a theoretical character’s greetings never changed, or changed very little aside from some variation at higher approval levels? That could be a great little twist of game mechanics to show either Something Isn’t Right, or that the character is a great liar, through meta knowledge on the player’s part of comparing all these disparate little details to compare and contrast. That kind of tell could be used to show that a character lacks either a degree of empathy and care for the main character, or that they are keeping the MC at arms’ length regardless of what the MC does (barring some potential high-approval impact and side-quest-completion that leads to influencing such a character, who might otherwise be a betrayer, into remaining loyal.) Seeing as Astarion lacks those major tells as of yet and that he does engage honestly either through persuasion or eventual revelation (such as if you fail the first dream-convo persuasion check, you find out from when he wakes up from nightmares regarding Cazador “reading poetry” what his dreams really were about), one could assume he does, in spite of all he’s been through, despite all the reasons he’s been given to fear, all the repetition beaten into his head to never trust another person ever again or to ever be trusted ever again... ...in spite of all that, perhaps a part of him still wants to reach out and engage with others. That some part of him still wants to interact as most if not all people do, in an emotionally meaningful and honest way. He says to the MC that he thinks they want to be known—and as I’m sure many of you clever lot who are in the shipping business alongside the rest of us have already thought or written out into fic, it very well may be that Astarion wants to be known too. Not just in the romantic or impassioned-love-affair manner of speaking, but simply for who he is, with both the MC and the rest of the group too. Accepted. Does he enjoy the little quips and barbs (assuming he actually is allowed to drink humanoid blood) such as from Shadowheart regarding his vampirism? Does that feel like a new, pleasant normal to him that he likes after a while? A joke between friends? Like the line “You know? I’m a little proud none of you were stupid enough to trust him!” [Linked here from scionsandsinners’s blog] while definitely still sporting his current insultingly low bar of expectations, it could be a nice potential build towards actually getting attached to the group on the whole as friends. Did he have that before he turned at all? Did he want that before? It seems likely given what we’ve seen of his raw emotional drive, that his potential desire for meaningful connection however obscured behind quips and barbs, that those elements were always a part of him in some way, shape or form. Does he remember, though? Or is it potentially something he’s forgotten, to some extent or other? Does he remember vaguely what friendship was like as another hollow memory among many, after so many years of torment wearing away at his mind? Do his friends from life if any still live? That could be bittersweet, if he did leave someone behind from when he was alive, that we might meet in Baldur’s Gate. He calls that Before—that time when he was still alive, before he lay dying and accepted Cazador’s offer of eternal life and was thus turned into a vampire spawn—so long ago it’s ancient history. “Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history and everything that came after…well uhm–I’d rather not reflect on it.” [Link here, from scionsandsinners] In some lines, tentatively guessed as post-vampire-status-reveal casual dialogue regarding his past before Cazador, relating to his days as a magistrate, he says he can’t remember what happened too clearly. “I…can’t remember much, truth be told–centuries of torment will do that to you.” [link from scionsandsinners blog]  According to google searches on the internet for DND rules regarding the turning of vampires and vampire spawn, they do seem to retain the memories of their life even into undeath. Astarion certainly could be obfuscating and lying about how much he remembers from back then...but consider this alternative as a possibility: What if he isn’t? [Spoilers for some of the Amnesia game series ahead, specifically Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and the DLC Amnesia: Justine.] What if he does have a certain degree of memory loss? Enter the comparison of Daniel and Justine both from Amnesia: The Dark Descent and the game’s DLC. Astarion, unlike the main character for Amnesia’s main campaign Daniel, did not technically volunteer for memory loss...unless one counts agreeing to take Cazador’s deal as volunteering, specifically without full and knowing consent of what he was getting into. Daniel in comparison knowingly and willingly ingests a potion to erase his memories, and leaves a note to motivate himself and thus the player to follow the course of ensuing events that make up the game. Justine does so in a similar fashion to Daniel, but her memory loss is intentionally temporary, whereas Daniel seems to have meant for it to be of a more permanent fashion. What if part of Cazador’s intentions regarding torturing his spawn, including Astarion, was to break down memories of happier times until those spawn could only remember that they had ever been happy once, not the actual memory, not the actual feeling—only the bitter, hollow forgetfulness and knowledge that they had known, once? Starvation is devastating in many, many, many ways. Ways that are so rarely fully explored in fiction beyond the feeling of extreme hunger. Few, after all, would consider the impact of malnourishment or a constant caloric deficit upon mental faculties unless they have observed it, experienced it, or studied it. It is possible to suffer actual physical brain damage from starving, so one must ask is it so surprising that the ability to think, comprehend, and process information, memory or emotion also falters when under the very real physical stress of prolonged famine? The brain eats up at least a fifth of the baseline caloric intake required for the average person’s bodily needs. It does not compromise well for less without the person in question suffering consequences for most if not all individuals. We know Astarion has not had more than enough to barely survive under Cazador, and the quality has been well below subpar at best. What if, after all he’s been through, with the exhaustion of constant fear and extreme pain, of unending ravenous hunger, and so much more...what if Astarion can’t remember much of before at all? What if he has forgotten chunks of his past? He does remember large, broad brushstrokes yes, the shape of ideas and what he once knew. The home he might long to see that he has not laid eyes upon in centuries [mentioned in the conversation with the Ornate Mirror if Astarion is the one talking to it (or does it require he be the chosen main origin?) I have no source available at this current time alas.] How much of that home does he remember in full? I’m sure he can recall some details...but are they the abstract knowledge of those details of what he knew they were like, or the actual memory?  Can you imagine the added layer of pain for an elf, if Larian is working with any of the racial features involving trancing, or the Reverie, if it’s built based off of the 2e DND Complete Book of Elves excerpt as mentioned in the following linked thread? [Posted by Remathilis, key word phrase is “The Reverie” or “The reverie is akin to sleep”, linked here] Specifically if these elements are at play:  “The reverie is akin to sleep, yet is very much unlike it. When elves enter this state, they vividly relive past memories, those both pleasant and painful. Like the dreaming of humans, elves have no control over which memories rise to the fore when they relinquish their bodies to the reverie. Occasionally, elves do actually dream, but this is not a frequent occurrence and mostly occurs only when they truly sleep.” “Although the reverie provides rest, it is primarily an important memory tool that helps the elf maintain a strong sense of identity. Since their lifespans are so great, elves must periodically recall the events in those hundreds of years that were integral to the making of their personality.”  This is from older versions of DND rules it’s true, but if it still applies, and applies to Astarion? This man has had over two hundred years’ worth of memories full of suffering and torment that, if he’s having traumatic PTSD nightmare episodes also helping to induce a higher frequency of recalling his torment at the hands of Cazador both during those centuries and afterwards, are potentially shaping his personality not only through the channels we can recognize in both fiction and the real world in psychological and physiological terms, but also supernatural or magical influences due to his being an elf and potentially shaped by the influence of what memories his reverie might dredge up. And the larger the number of traumatic, dark, fearful memories he has, the more likely he is to encounter them, especially if they’re coupled with a constant, ongoing fear of knowing these memories will be made anew each night unto infinity if he is stuck bound to Cazador’s service forever. Who wants to bet Cazador knew about this aspect of elven psychology/biology? Or at the very least speculated it, as far as having elven vampire spawn went? It will be interesting to see if there are other elven vampire spawn among Cazador’s underlings—either for the route of Cazador taking a particular extra pleasure in breaking elves because they are supposedly harder to influence in such a manner if he had others before Astarion, or if Astarion was the first elf Cazador turned, then perhaps Astarion received particular, special attention for being seen as an added challenge due to being an elf. Alexander from Amnesia however had to use a slightly defter touch to manipulate Daniel, having not so concrete a hold over him as Cazador over Astarion. But the torture of others, of fleeing to Alexander’s or Cazador’s promise of safety from an impending horror or threat of death, followed by a descent into the dark, unyielding despair of what Daniel or Astarion have done to survive? They do have potential parallels enough to make for a possible AU exploration in fics, certainly. One question that arises in this scenario of comparison though, is how much is Astarion aware of? How much of Cazador’s insidious influence does he recognize, in particular the more subtle parts that have seeped in over the years? Consider then the added layer of stark, blinding contrast, that he now has new memories, of new people, new experiences, in particular ones that are not torture or the anticipation of said torture, and it’s all in the daylight. Memories of daylight the likes of which he’s not had in two hundred years. Consider the mere color contrast from the lighting difference of daylight versus night time, like in the line where he asks  “Was the sky always this blue? It’s magnificent…” [Link here to the audio, presumed triggered after vampire status reveal] If he dreams in reverie and the memory that comes to mind is set in the daytime...would he feel a bit safer in hoping that it will be a safer, better dream, than if it’s set in the night time? Consider how much of a horrible, terror-inducing surprise it might be to dream of a sun-filled garden, only to see an idealized version of Cazador show up, a la the tadpole. That has to be the meanest surprise-twist Astarion could have for a dream setting there. But on other nights if he does not have memories of Cazador or tadpole dreams plaguing him, does he dream of the camp, the companions, the MC, the actions their group has undertaken? What does he think of those dream-memories? Are they only relatively restful compared to the other dark memories lurking in his head, or are these new daylight-filled memories actually objectively restful for him? Perhaps one additional group of reasons he’s willing to join up with the party, is to get away from the memories. With people, there is the added unknown factor of complexity and chemistry, of lives and histories not his own added to the mix of any situation they come across. Of interaction. Of not being left alone to his own thoughts and nightmares. This group’s members aren’t victims meant for Cazador’s fangs and thirst, nor are they Cazador’s spawn, fellow damned souls and torturous devils both who alternate suffering upon the rack and potentially being the ones to turn the rack’s wheels for whoever is tied down upon it that night. Mayhaps Astarion wants to remember more of the things he’s forgotten in the darkness of all the years he’s suffered under Cazador—to make new memories of things he would associate with living, with being free. To fill in the hollowed out abstract memories with fresh, new details of life lived in the sun, in the here and now. Is he aware of just how much he’s forgotten? Even if he isn’t fully cognizant of the full tally of all that he’s potentially lost...it must still hurt to have an idea of how much he’s lost even if he’s only partially aware. In this, he might hold more comparison to Justine from Amnesia’s DLC moreso than Daniel, depending on what choices Astarion makes if he’s the chosen origin, or on the MC’s choices if it’s a custom origin playthrough—with Justine, her choices are all setup and intended to be an exploration of who she is as an exploration of character, to find out if she is capable of mercy and compassion still—while exercising a great deal of monstrous cruelty for her own amusement. With Daniel there is still the solid comparison of thematic elements in that his quest is a desperate pursuit of revenge while trying to outrun a great evil, all while acknowledging that he himself is horrifying as well. Justine’s story would parallel Astarion far more so on the dark path through Baldur’s Gate 3, naturally, whereas Daniel, if one selected the Revenge Ending at the end of Amnesia, has more in common with Astarion’s tentatively projected good route—revenge, while also ending a greater evil than himself. The parallel with Daniel may possibly even include a comparison to Amnesia’s Good Ending depending on what direction Larian takes Astarion’s story in. I doubt Larian would have Astarion become self-sacrificial, but I could see him potentially becoming much more inclined towards helping his friends and party members on a good-aligned path, as he seems at least not entirely unwilling to engage in do-goodery, particularly if bribed enough. There’s also certainly the idea of comparing Daniel being “tainted” as Alexander put it by the Shadow to Astarion’s potential point of view on his vampirism, given some of his expressions at times in emotional scenes relating to it. Then also the comparison of all the horrors Daniel has inflicted upon people, as have Justine and Astarion, and the fact that after the amnestic-influence of their specific story elements in this build, they are ultimately all able to be influenced towards better or worse endings dependent upon more immediate influences, namely the people surrounding them, and less so from long-standing influences of their past such as tradition, upbringing, and other core elements of identity that memory so often brings to the table, or at least helps formulate the detailing of. Justine admittedly does not really have “better” endings, but her horror story’s core could be interpreted as “was truly a monster at heart all along” from start to finish. Will Astarion prove to be similarly corrupt at his core, something that had always been true deep down regardless of Cazador’s influence on him, ultimately sowing harm and ruin upon the world and people around him, like Justine? Or will he turn out to be leaning towards being more of a good-inclined, flawed character with a bloodstained history he regrets and seeks to overcome, like Daniel? As a disclaimer though, Daniel is not a Good-aligned personality. He did many horrifying things to preserve his life, and Astarion certainly has done terrible things canonically under Cazador’s direction, though we still wait to see what Astarion did back when he was free to choose. With the attention to detail Larian Studios is applying as is to just what we’ve seen in Early Access, I would expect a fairly nuanced backstory for Astarion with murky morality, based on what we see of his opinions and character traits now. Another idea just to let loose an additional fox among the chickens: Consider the added layer of potential morality conflict in the scenario where Astarion might actually have very well been pursuing his idea of justice as a magistrate— coupled with his low opinions of others which he may have had before Cazador turned him, along with his racist/discriminatory comments and behaviors (re: Gur, Goblins, Gnomes, Kobolds, etc), likely suggests he could very well have been very biased in his perspective on how he meted out justice. I would not be surprised if Larian Studios kept the story idea that he was selling criminals off, but I also would not be at all shocked if they added details where it made what Astarion was dishing out closer to overly-harsh street-justice—he makes a fine murder-hobo adventurer as it is when the watchword of the day for many an adventuring party is “Murder Is An Acceptable Solution If Words Aren’t Working.” I also wouldn’t bat an eye should we find out he was as judgmental and cynical before Cazador as he is now, albeit perhaps with a different bend to his outlook from life experience influences. This all really ties in well with the usual game build of everyone starting at level one, as brand new, green adventurers—barring past adventuring experiences for backstory like Wyll, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart do or potentially have—at the start of their journey, off to explore the world and grow into the world-savers (or world-enders) they’re destined to be in a given campaign. Astarion fits this very well on many levels, among them given the fact how new everything is to him with this sudden change of the rules altering the very fabric of his existence. He has to deal with figuring out how to deal with his vampirism under his own agency and all the ensuing complications that come with that, has to figure out how to socially interact with others in all new ways, has to level up to go on his personal quest to save his own hide and eventually his friends’ and the world—it’s all so new and different, even the things he’s experienced before with such a drastic perspective shift and a change in power. It ties right back into his tagline so nicely too if that ends up being a possible theme of his, the whole memory-loss/memory-informing-his-identity element of being an elf: “ Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” Can he leave those memories behind and forge himself into a better version of himself, if that is what he wants? What choices will Astarion make, if he does indeed have warped memories due to Cazador’s corroding influence to the point of some degree of memory loss? How will this flood of new sensory and social experiences change him as he goes forward? Who will Astarion choose to be, at the end of the day when they reach the road’s end? Will he let those dark memories twist and shape him, or will he try to make new ones among new friends, and follow their lead back into the sunlight? So many potential questions! Speaking of potential good-versus-bad-paths, this line isn’t in the game yet, but I feel it suggests Astarion might have a certain tolerance or perhaps even willingness to at least consider going out and saving the world, beyond lines we’re all familiar with already at the Tiefling celebration party: “Don’t you think we have other priorities right now? We need to save ourselves before we can save the world.” [Link here from Pjenn’s datamined post, dialogue theoretically occurs after a currently locked-off from Early Access encounter with a drow servant of the Absolute in the Underdark] It makes for a lot of intriguing possibilities, I dare say, all of which could make for marvelous variations in core character trait builds and influences for different interpretations of Astarion as a character. So many choices and gradients to play with, he and all the rest of the main cast have such nuance, it’s fantastic. The cast of characters all so far seem to have a wide variety of wants and motivations, and Larian seems like they might be quite determined to blur the line and inspire more rich exploration opportunities regarding perceived morality among many other potential topics of discussion—we have good characters with on-going flaws and darker motivations, evil characters with recurrent virtues and sympathetic appeal, and quite a few in-between when non-party-member NPCs are included in the mix. I do think Astarion along with all the rest of the party fit into those kinds of complicated-morality situations we’ve seen play out and be hinted at so very nicely, and it will be such fun to see how they grow through these experiences! It’s marvelous writing, directing, animation, acting, and just straight up work all across the board it looks like from over here. Anyway, thank you all for coming along on this literary ramble with me, I hope you had a fine time and that you all have a lovely day or night as befits your current timezone. Happy tidings to you, and stay safe everyone, and see you next time! :D