#like there was not a soul on this planet who wasnt expecting her to be both the big boss and cassiopeia

[anomalouscutie]

arven is the best of the trio in pokescarvio like penny and nemona barely even classify as characters

[hereliesbitches--me]

“You were crying in your sleep.” 

Noticed Trauma Starters (ALWAYS ACCEPTING)

When Rosita Roselyn was a child, she was known for being a weak and timid cry baby. Or so her mother often scolded her for. A child who cried when she was screamed at, cried when she fell, and cried when she was alone. Always too emotional,    always too fragile,    not built to survive in this world.

She cried when her best friend withered away slowly and died in her arms, deformed and unrecognizable by time. Unnatural and Wrong. Then she just never cried again. 

That is the first thing they break out of you when you join the UNSC. Because crying was for the weak, for those who will die -- you had to learn early on to cry was to only waste the tears.  It helped her to cope, thinking that way. But at the same time it felt like all the tears she had to shed had died with little Kyle. 

   To be an ONI officer was to learn that knowledge is power and your body was an expendable weapon like all tools in the trade.  As a 17 year girl, she didn’t cry when she was laid out beneath an insurrectionist waiting for the ODST who had come too late. It was just another job. She didn’t cry when Nova beat the stutter out of her and put out her cigarettes on her hand and arms just to make her tough. It was was needed to be done. When the covenant war began, the time of tears was truly no more. Too much death, and not enough tears to spend.  She didn’t even cry finding out Kyle, the real Kyle, had in fact lived, and suffered a great deal without her. After years of suffering that plagued their universe, Rosie thought herself the ideal Intelligence agent who smiled in agony and laughed in fear. She led Spartans II to their victories, and some to their demise, but still for their sake and morale she had no place for tears when they all needed a stone.

But even stones have to crack. Not even planets could be saved.  She though Rosita Roselyn had died with the little boy she thought to be her best friend -- Truth was, she died with the rest of her family and friends on that day. Burning, screaming, not a soul to hear it. Madrigol glassed.  Nobody had ever stood a chance..

    When the news had arrived through the vine, it settles into her slow and agonizing. The chilling reality that now there really was no home to turn back to crept on her like frostbite climbing through the nerves.  At first she felt nothing ; Disbelief, denial, perhaps shock. Shock had become such a welcome response to trauma in her that it stunted her emotional and physical response to a variety of pains. In her mind her first instinct was to think of her Spartans, to think how Kyle would respond to the news, and how she would have to react accordingly to soften that blow for him.  The UNSC had already stolen his life from him for the sake of service, for the sake of Humanity, and for all the good he did, it wasnt enough to protect his parents from their greatest enemy. She hadn’t done enough to protect her mother, and her father suffered that death because Rosie was negligent in being a dutiful daughter. 

Still, she had no place to cry... She wasn’t the only one to have lost her family. An entire planet... with people who probably had friends and family on other colonies, in the service, who all probably think the same thoughts she did as they stand there digesting the cold reality of how short life is in war times. They would all be crying....   but tears don’t win wars. Tears don’t make it better.      Soldiers like her don’t cry anymore. They plan a counter and act. 

    Her silence was to be expected, however in the coming days there was too much to be planned that would not afford a second of rest. Accounting dead, amassing data for their next place to make their alien enemies rue the day they fucked with humanity. She may have kept a close eye on Kyle and the team, trusted that the Spartans would do good in keeping their brother afloat in their time of grief, Rosie’s place was among the generals and fleets for their next strike. She’d work for days and would be seen very little.. until even she burned out. In the realm of the living, Agent Valentine was in perfect control of her emotions -- smiling and pleasant and deceptively clever behind her cute short physique -- She had no real control of what her body did while she sleeps. She had a bad habit of curling up in random corners where she wouldn't be found and letting herself cave there. She forgets John-117 had come to know her and her habits just as well as she knew her Spartans.

In her dreams, Rosie thinks back on the very last memories she had in her childhood home, shared with her mother and father before they split ways over her. She remembers most the beaches... the water so clear the child she was thought she could see beneath the waves for miles. The little fish that swam in the shallows and nipped at their toes. In her dreams she remembers the warmth of sunshine as she splashed and chased her little best friend on the shoreline, the both of them laughing and rolling through sand until the sun set on the horizon. Camellia, her mother with her same face, stood at the doorway of their beach home as Roland shuffled down the scrub grass with the Reyes parents to collect the two children worn out by their play. The feeling of sand and dried salt sticking to the skin as Rosie lay in a sandy waterhole with little Kyle is one she could never replicate. Her father was younger in those days, not yet salt and peppered by the stress of political affairs, and his smile held the warmth of a thousand suns. He chuckled down at the little girl, and in the dream his voice and laughter echoed and engraved itself into her bones and mind. 

“ Are you ready to go home, sweet girl?”  Roland spoke softly, teasingly as he squatted down in the sand to grab her. From her peripherals she watches Kyle’ s father scoop up the sleeping toddler and carry him a way with a farewell to herself and Roland. Rosie turns her head up to see her father so close, she can smell that vintage cologne he liked as he hooked his hands beneath her chubby arms. She raises her ups up to be lifted,  gripping his shirt and peering up at his face as he looks down upon her with the look of fond admiration -- suddenly he wasn’t moving. Rosie sat there in his arms, anticipating, confused, watching as his mouth moved to say her name but the rest of him did not.

“ Rosie... Rosie..” The hands that held her shook her lightly, then the corners of her dream began to distort. So did her father’s voice.  In a panic fear began to climb in the girl’s throat and thunder in her little heart as a blackness splintered the frame of her colorful world and her father’s voice grew distant. Why did he sound so far when he was so close?  Again, he repeated her name, his voice warping with every rattle of her small frame, more aggressive than the last,  “ Rosie, you have to wake up.. You have to..” 

Her world went black 

 Rosie jolted, gasping in terror as she woke up in  pile of paperwork and files.  Her heart thundered in her chest just as it had been in the dream, the adrenalin of fear caused her body to tremble with the initial disorientation of suddenly awaking. She stared at the ground and took seconds to familiarize herself with the scene ; Papers lay beneath her shaking hands, their image blurry as her head senselessly sways from side to side... a few more seconds, blinking in hopes that the image clears, but the hand that touches her cheeks realizes why its not.  Her face is hot and wet with what she can only assume are tears. Her fingers wipe the edge of her eyes just enough to clear her vision, her hands then simply fall limp on the table when she sits up. At some point she must have fallen asleep on her mission details... and now they were all smudged with her tears and drool. Fear is slow to subside, in its place finds exhaustion, exasperation, and annoyance.   “ God fucking...” She starts to mutter, before she realizes there is a weight and warmth on her shoulder. How long had that been there? Ignoring the pain in her neck, Rosie numbly tilts her head and peers up to find Chief standing there with his usual observant (as she likes to call it) expression. Her neck bones pop as her head falls back, she remains staring a few seconds, before she wills a bashful smile onto her face,  “ Oh, hey John... How long have you been there?”  She laughs, hollow and perfectly practiced, snapping her head back down to wipe her cheeks in her palms, “ God im such a mess, im asking for scoliosis at this rate if I keep falling asleep at the --” 

“You were crying in your sleep.”

John stops her mid sentence, as curt and straight forward as he always is... Rosie finds her mouth to shut quick.  For a moment she seems suspended there, looking down at her tingling hands as the the numbed nerves are slow to awaken in them. She says nothing at first, debating her response, before her lips curl again and she muses out a chuckle, 

“ I dont think I was, John. I think I was drooling really bad... In my dream, you see, I was having a feast before you woke me... I must have just been so hungry in the real world I salivated enough to cover my whole face...”

[kimbrrleee]

It’s been six years since September when she left us, but I missing my Grammy a little bit more than usual tonight. Seeing the ornament she made me for my first Christmas always makes it more real. I’m going to share a little bit about her tonight, I hope you don’t mind. This is what it wrote in my journal the day after she passed and what I read at her memorial service. (sorry about the formatting, I don’t understand tumblr’s spacing)

My beautiful Grammy lost her battle with cancer yesterday.

I am still trying to process all of this. This really the best way I can do it right now. Its not going to be terribly coherent or organized but I am just going to let you all in on some of my  memories with her. Putting them down is hopefully going to help fill the void I have in my heart right now so I hope you enjoy it...

 In preparation for writing this, I lit a candle and put on Frank Sinatra radio on iTunes radio.

I didnt even get halfway through the first song before I realized I was not ready for that yet.

My Grammy loved Sinatra.

In fact, it was something the two of us bonded over. I remember sitting in the living room of my parents house with my phone and a dock playing a mix of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett.. etc.

We would just sit there and sing. No need for words. Every so often I would look over at her and I could tell that she was someplace other than chandler. See, my Grammy had the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and had trouble remembering quite a bit. However when I turned on that music you could see the warmth in her eyes and the little smile that crept across her face. She would sing harmony for a little bit and then lament about how her singing voice wasn't as good as it once was. (It always sounded beautiful to me. I would give anything to hear it again.) Then after a few more songs would go by she would say how happy she was that I loved this music as much as she did. "Most of the youngins these days... they dont listen to the old people music." She would tell me I had an old soul, and I would tell her she had a big hand in it. Every so often I would drag out my ukulele and play "Cant Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley. Even though I had played it for her so many times, she would always react like it was the first. She would start crying and telling me how beautiful it was and how much she adored Elvis. Elvis was Grammy's big crush. Even the mention of his name would send her into a tizzy. I remember a time I was at the dollar store and I picked up an Elvis magnet for her. She started crying a bit and kept repeating how much she wished he was still alive. It was the cutest thing ever. My Grammy was everything you would expect a Grandma to be. Sweet, hilarious, wise and a little ornery. One of my earliest memories of my Grammy was when I was (i think) 4 or 5 years old and we were visiting her in Florida. She wanted me to eat peas, and I didnt. So I took the peas, put them in my spoon, and flung them across the kitchen. She never let me forget that. She was a firm believer in horoscopes and would read the paper every morning just so she could tell me what my day would be like. She would tell me that when there was a full moon I should run outside and pray to it because it would give me money. She would scold me whenever I even though about wasting food. Followed promptly by a long dissertation about how she grew up in the Great Depression and were not afforded the opportunity to waste anything. She would feed the dogs scraps from the table even if she knew my mom would be upset. Nothing ever went to waste. She would always try to get me to dress up like a lady. She was disapproving of my tattered, dirty jeans and got so excited on the rare occasion I would wear a dress. Grammy was a straight shooter. Always said what was on her mind whether we wanted to hear it or not. I distinctly remember telling me "Kimmy, before you were born I had wished you were a boy. But I guess since you love football, beer, whiskey and bluejeans its gonna be the closest ill get." (I totally took it as a compliment) She was the most gracious person on this planet. When I would swing by and pick her up food on the way home she would always say "Thank you for thinking of me" about 8 or 9 times. She was always surprised but always so grateful when we would spend time with her. When she was diagnosed with lung cancer about a month ago, my world stopped. I never had to associate the words family and cancer. I had been lucky enough to not have encountered death in my immediate or extended family. I didnt know how to function... and I still dont. She was admitted to the hospital and I left right after work to go visit with her. She turned on "Catfish" and I tried to explain to her the main objective of the show. She was almost as amused as she was confused. I was still hopeful at the time because she hadn't been officially diagnosed. I was talking to her about how she's gotta stay there for a bit because we want her to get better and come home. Well she did come home, just not the way we had hoped.

She was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and the decision was made to not seek treatment. Hospice was set up and my parents dogs did not leave her side for the following weeks. I would make it a point to get there as much as possible. I would listen to music with her like we always did but this time she wasnt singing. As much as it broke my heart, I could still see the twinkle in her eye and I knew she was singing on the inside. When things were getting bad, we had almost all of the family over to be with her. She kept saying how happy she was and how "everything is going the way I want it to". That was all I needed to hear to find closure. The very last memory I had with her was last week: I gently kissed her swollen hand and whispered "I love you" I dont know when I will be able to listen to the likes of Sinatra and Elvis again... I can still hear her silly little chuckle in the back of my head. I can hear her saying "God I wish I had your energy" when I would dance stupidly across the living room or "looking good girl!" every other time I would pass by her. I still can't believe she's gone. It tears me up inside. But I take solace in knowing she went peacefully knowing that she has so many people who love her. I can just imagine her being united with the love of her life, my Grandpa Ed, after being separated for 60 years. And I can guarantee she is asking Elvis and Sinatra for an autograph.

[thirtysomethingloser92]

Dhawan!Master x Reader.

"She hears voices in her mind, talking of another world lost in time"

For @startrekkingaroundasgard birthday writing challenge.

/Written while being sleep deprived, anxious, and listening to my angsty playlist/ Enjoy ❤

Sometimes you could feel his gaze on you. His questioning eyes watching for any sign of the person you were so long ago. His brown eyes would bore deep into your soul as if he was waiting for something to happen and when nothing ever did, he would become frustrated; pulling at his black hair and punching the TARDIS console angrily. But never, not ever, did he take this frustration out on you despite you being the cause of it. Instead his face would tighten into a grimace, a silent reassurance that it wasn't you he was mad at.

He was mad at the universe for taking you away.

Sometimes, on planets billions of lightyears away from Earth, he would grip your hand as if it was his only lifeline. When the sky above you both glistened colours you only saw in your dreams, when it was only the two of you in the dead of night, you saw a side of The Master you wondered if anyone else had seen before. When he looked over at you, his fingers clasped tightly around your own, he would whisper a name you had never heard before but it was oh so familiar and it felt oh so right to hear, but it wasnt your name. And when you said as much he looked disappointed, almost heartbroken.

He was mourning the person you once were.

Sometimes you would dream, about burnt orange skies and silver leafed trees. You would dream about running through the cities with your hand clenched in another's. You would dream about chaste kisses and secret 'I love you's' on the cliffledge overlooking the roaring ocean, away from onlookers, knowing how forbidden your love was. You would awake with a sense of longing for a world you never knew, for a person you never remember, for a comfort you could never find.

You were so close to him, he could physically touch you, but you were so so far away from him.

Sometimes, late at night when the TARDIS lights are dimmed low, you would find yourself walking into the console room with bleary eyes and mismatched pyjamas and he would always be waiting for you, as if he was expecting you. You would tell him about your dreams, the unknown world that woke you up at night, and you could swear you would see sadness touch his eyes as a glimmer of a smile touched the corners of his lips.

And sometimes The Master would tell you a story about an impossible world, he would tell you a story about a person he knew once upon a time. A person who had managed to capture both of his hearts, a person he would burn the universe for. He would tell you of the adventures they had, of how the only time he ever felt okay was with them in his arms. He would tell you a story of the anger and rage he felt when he lost them.

He loved you so desperately, so fully, that he doesnt remember what it was like not to hurt since youve been gone.

He would talk until he would look over at you with a familiar burning behind his eyes, a faniliar pain in his chest, and you would be asleep once again. His hands would find their way into your hair, down to your cheek and finally coming to rest on your neck. If there was one thing that never changed, even if you did, was the way your body melded into his own.

The universe brought you back to him, even if not completely.

Because even though you never remembered him, even though whispers of your previous life together would trickle through your mind as you slept, he could never forget the one person in all of time and space that held his hearts in their hands.

You.

[velociraptors-dont-lie]

My Way (3)

Summary: Anita’s adventure truly starts.

Warnings: blood? fighting? More swearing? More bad writing and OOcness?

A/N: I. still.hate.this. But imma continue writing it because im not a quitter.

Part one Here, Part Two here

Chapter Three

''We'll rest here for the night''

Anita groaned in relief and dropped to the floor, still cuffed hands going to her red and sore feet. Scamp cooed sadly from his pod and his ears dropped when Anita looked at him. ''I'm okay, sweetheart, promise.''

It got dark in what seemed like no time at all, the sun just under the horizon, and All Anita could hear was the Mandalorian's pained noises. She might've offered to help if she wasn't still distrustful of him, it was only his arm after all and it didn't look too bad.

She'd fed Scamp, gave him a drink and he seemed bored, unable to run about like he was used to doing with his mother. He looked at Anita as she chewed on something she'd stolen from the encampment before looking to the metal man who seemed in pain, deciding to do something about it, Scamp started to fidget.

She saw him moving out of the corner of her eye, saw him drop from out of the pod, and head towards the Mandalorian. Intrigued, she watched Scamp raise his arm and squint his eyes only fearing once the Mandalorian took Scamp's hand and picked him up.

Only to be surprised at his gentle drop into the pod, leaving the child there. So perhaps he wasn't as course and harsh as she first thought him to be, something about Scamp had already wormed its way into his armor, it was only a matter of a time before it reached his heart.

Scamp's second attempt to help yielded the same result, It also had Anita laughing quietly to herself when the man shut the pod with Scamp inside. At least now the little bugger had to sleep.

''I can help with that if you take these off.'' She lifted her hands to show the cuffs ''They're starting to hurt and I promise I won't jump on you again.''

''It's fine''

''It's not fine. It won't get better like that, at least let me clean it.''

He looked at her for a few seconds, debating the options in his head. She hadn't done anything else since arriving out of nowhere except care for the baby. In the end, he relented and released her hands from the cuffs and watched as she took the last of her water and used it to clean his wound.

''You know, that whole situation when I found you was a complete fluke.'' she chuckled to herself mostly as she dabbed his wound dry gently. ''I can't fight at all but you were walking off with my child and I had to do something. Honestly, I didn't think I could take but I was gonna try.''

''You were smart. Avoiding the beskar.''

''Well, I didn't want to break my hand.'' Anita was grinning, checking over the wound for the last time. ''Cause you know I only have two and I need them.''

It was silent again, He didn't reply to her but she had a question on her mind.

''Whoever you're taking him to...'' He turned to face her, the only indication he was looking was that his helmet seemed to bore right into her soul. ''What will they do with me? I'm only on this planet by accident and then Nikto's found me and told me to care for him. I don't-I'm scared.''

Again he was silent, she assumed to try and find an answer that wouldn't make her panic but his silence was doing that already.

''You're his mother. I'm sure they'll keep you around him.''

''And then I need to find a way home!'' Anita looked away, her face scrunched as if trying not to cry. Shuffling away from him. ''But I don't want to leave him but I have to go home, I have godchildren, my friends, my house. I can't stay and I can't take him with me because he's green.''

He was sure Anita would have had a full breakdown if the child hadn't started to cry from within the pod. Anita's ramblings stopped as did the appearance of tears in her eyes when her attention diverted to him Immediately.

She opened the pod and shushed the child, hands either side of the pod and gently rocking it side to side. He stilled in his bed, looking up at her with sad eyes and the beginnings of his own crying fit; The Mandalorian prepared for the loud screams but instead, Anita started to sing.

La la lu, La la lu. Oh, my little star sweeper. I'll sweep the stardust for you. La la lu, La la lu.

She was a good person. He could see that and some part of him didn't want to hand her over to the likes of the client. He saw the love she had for the child, the love the child had for her and he knew she would be devastated when they were separated.

His lie would be found out, she'll hate him but it was a job he had to do. For now, he enjoyed the sound of her soft singing as much as the child.

Little soft fluffy sleeper. Here comes a pink cloud for you. La la lu, La la lu.Little wandering angel Fold up your wings close your eyes

The child had calmed, his eyes drooping down as the familiar song she sung set him off to sleep. The Mandalorian had never heard it but the soft tones that followed on the words were enough to know he'd go the same way as the child did if he wasn't focused on his armor.

La la lu, La la lu And may love be your keeper La la lu, La la lu, La la lu

She closed the pod the instant she finished to protect Scamp from the noises of the Mandalorians fixings. Anita's own eyes dropping closed, the exhaustion of the day reaping the seeds it had sown and there she herself drifted to sleep; forehead pressed against the metal of the pod.

He had gone through her bag while she slept, heavier than he expected to lift. Inside were some familiar items, food packets, water but some were not so familiar. Two rectangles, black on one side and pink and blue on the other.

Wires, one white and the other black. A weird stick, pop off the lid and it smelt...strange and he couldn't place it. Small tubes he assumed was makeup, it did say the words 'Eye' and 'lip' on them.

He kept pulling things out, it wasn't that large of a bag but yet seemed like a black hole of just ...stuff. deciding none of what was inside could be used as a weapon, The Mandalorian placed everything back inside and put the bag back with its owner.

He almost hated to wake her up, to force her closer to the separation she'll experience when they get to Nevarro. She was groggy, her backed ached and her shoulders clicked as she stretched out her arms.

He noticed her feet a long time ago, the way she tried to take small steps and yet keep up with him at the same time while also trying to feed the kid. Walking along the hot floor seemed to hurt her and yet she kept on going, he tried to think if he had any shoes somewhere on the ship for her.

Not that his ship was all that useful at the moment. After walking for a while, Anita stopped behind him as he took the rifle looking weapon from his back, kneeling and pointing it down the ridge at a ship, where some ...small beings were doing something.

''what are they?'' Anita asked as he fired his rifle, disintegrating one of them. ''The small one is your...spaceship?''  

''Jawas'' The Mandalorian fired another shot after reloading, Anita noted the rifle seemed to only use one charge at a time. ''And yes.''

''Manny, your ship looks wrecked.''

After the third kill, the Mandalorian took off running down the small ridge and towards the big fortress the Jawas had retreated into. Anita sighed but ran after him and the pod that followed whether she liked it or not, her feet burning with pain and yet she didn't want to leave Scamp with him.

''You want me to hold your gun, Manny?'' She watched him fire another shot at the moving fortress before he carelessly threw the weapon her way and continued to run after his ship parts.

For a moment, Anita was stood still and struck dumb by how fast he actually gave her the weapon. She assumed his ship was more important than her imaginary mutiny he knew she wouldn't commit.

''Oh he's-okay.''' She ran after the pod, noticing it got too far away and witnessed her only source of life on the planet was trying to climb a moving vehicle. He narrowly missed being throw off by a close wall, and the Jawas started to throw random metal stuff down at him.

Anita continued to keep pace by the pod, the empty gun in her hand. Normally, Anita didn't have trouble running, she was quite fit and enjoyed a run in the mornings; yet her now bleeding feet slowed her down, caused her to bounce each step she took and she was finding it hard to breathe.

Huffing out in relief as the Mandalorian reached the top of the fortress, hoping she didn't have to jump over any more Jawa bodies. Though the relief was short-lived as his visage seemed to glow with blue light before he dropped backward, hitting the ground below with a hard thunk.

Anita cringed as he hit the ground, the pod stopping nearby but she kept going to drop by the man's side, the rifle was forgotten on the floor under the pod. She touched the chest plate of his armor, pulling her hand back as her fingers were zapped by lingering electricity.

Hissing with surprise rather than the pain she shoved her hand under his helmet, pulling down the fabric around his neck and pressing two fingers hard just under his jaw; checking for a pulse he still had.

Scamp made a noise from the side and she looked over to give him a smile. ''He's alright. He just got a bit of a jolt.'' Anita herself got a jolt when he suddenly moved, awake and in pain. ''You good, Manny?''

He said nothing. Only sat up, looked around, and made sure his helmet was still on.  Groaning as he stood up with her following, he walked back into the direction they came from and she assumed it was to return to his ship.

The hull had a few holes in it from where the Jawas had stripped it of its metal. The Mandalorian made a few frustrated sounds and slammed some doors, understandably mad that his ship was wrecked.

She followed him to what she assumed was the cockpit, he sat down in the middle seat and pushed buttons, flicked levers. There was sputtering, the ship wasnt able to take off and he gave up, disappearing back down the ladder.

''Dude, they got you good. This place is a mess.'' Anita jumped from the cockpit, forgoing using the ladder. The Mandalorian had Scamp in his arms, moving to leave the ship and go somewhere else with them since his mode of transportation was unusable.

''We gotta get your shit back man. I hate this planet.''

''Are your feet okay?''

''No, they're fucked.'' Anita laughed, though, to him, it sounded more like a pained whine. ''But if what you're actually asking is ''can I walk'' then the answer is yes. You are not carrying me.''  

''I wasn't going to.''

Anita made a face at him from behind, still following to whenever the next destination was set. The sun was setting and was near fully got when they arrived at a camp, someone of yet another race was fixing a tall, metal pole.

''I thought you were dead.''

''He almost was.'' Anita giggled to herself. ''My name is Anita. It's ...nice to meet you.'' Though confused and still afraid.

''I am Kuiil'' he replied, starting to climb down from the pole. He was small like a child and yet his face wasn't child-like at all. when he was finally on the ground and in front of her, he noticed her feet immediately.  ''You are injured.''

''Hm? oh yeh, just a little.''

''Sit. I will bring you supplies.''

''Oh no its-''

''I have spoken.'' Anita opened and closed her mouth dumbly, looking to Manny to help her but it just continued to stand there, silent as the grave. Kuiil hadn't said it rudely, it seemed more like a mannerism of his speech more than a rude demand that he was going to help.

Scamp had crawled down from inside his pod, playing with the small froglike creatures that hopped around while Anita tended to her feet with the supplies Kuiil had brought her.  

''This is what was causing all the fuss?''

''I thinks it's a child.''

''He is a child.'' Anita butted in, wiping the blood clean from her sore feet. ''his fifty years must be at least...8? maybe younger judging by the interest in slimy friends.''

''It is best to deliver it alive then.''

''him''

''My ship has been destroyed. I'm trapped here.'' The Mandalorian ignored her correction.   Anita rolled her eyes, bandaging up her feet while the two men talked. She wasn['t looking forward to yet another journey across the planet for his ship parts.

But where Scamp went, so did she.

''Hey, spit that out.''

Anita smiled at Scamp, who had caught his frog finally and shoved it face-first into his mouth. Leaning back his head, he swallowed it alive and looked to his mother with pride on his face.

Anita giggled, clapping as she was indeed proud of her little alien son. Though it was very gross, she couldn't help but find it incredibly cute.

The child was too cute.

[spoopyghostgirl]

Light Bringer

So this is the first part of a Captain Marvel fanfiction that I'm thinking of writing.

Pairing: Yon-RoggXOC with some possible onesided VersXOC though I'm undecided.

Rating: Teen+

Word count: 5,308 words

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

"Seven thousands souls, scared and daunted, such a tale of woe

Not too long ago, this village was a golden scene of hope

Call down the reckoning"

Year: 1991

Lazarus sighed, opening and closing her right fist, gold eyes trained on the tendons as they flexed in her palm.

"You are being transferred," the gold eyed young woman stood stock still, the supreme one standing before her, his mouth set in an unreadable line. Lazarus paused, watching the young man before her, his form changing as he- now she, nawed on her bottom lip.

"Did I do something to displease you, sir?" She had never been one to ask questions, to doubt her leaders words, but this felt like... like she had done something wrong. She was a commander under Ronan the accuser, a close friend and leader of the Kree army. The supreme one had placed her there in hopes of quelling any ideas the headstrong general could have about betraying their leader and following his own personal desires. 'Which wouldn't be surprising, given who he is and what Kree like him believe.'

"You could never displease me, Lazarus," a warm hand upon her cheek pulled her from her thoughts, a content smile on the older womans face as she stroked her cheek. "You are everything I could have ever hoped for in a right hand woman. You're strong, beautiful, cunning, and-," 'obedient,' a small voice supplied, Lazarus missing the last word that was spoken to her. "Even though you are not from Hala, you have served her like she was your own and that is all I could have hoped for and more. I merely believe that your talents would be better used elsewhere." Lazarus made no move to speak, the supreme one smiling as the scene around them changed, the once plain white room being replaced by one of her memories.

She was on her home planet, or at least the planet she was led to have believe, to be her home. Asgard. Her lips twitched but she wouldn't let a smile grace her lips, knowing what was expected of her from the supreme one. They were standing outside of the palace, in the court yard, a woman with the same face as the one the supreme leader wore, stood high above them on a balcony over hanging the court yard she, her brother, and the kings two sons spared on. 'Where Azazel and I learned the truth, that we weren't like the others.' Lazarus' gold eyes were trained on the face of a young man, his eyes a light glowing green, a smirk on his handsome face. 'Loki,' the dark haired man ducked, dodging the swing her twin brother directed at him, the equally fair skinned man grunting in frustration. The younger version of herself and Thor sat on the side, both cheering on their respective sibling, though Lazarus secretly hoped for the dark haired mans victory over her brother. The navy blue clad man twisted, dodging the retaliation Loki directed at him, a coy smirk gracing his lips.

"We have found someone," the supreme one spoke, circling the dueling men as though they were corporal and not merely wisps of her past. "Someone that we believe may be like you and the rest of your kind. Someone with the power to control the elements themselves." As if being summoned by the womans observation, she felt the familiar burn under her flesh as fire threatened to bleed through to the surface of her skin. "For the past two years we have allowed a young Commander to train her, to hone her skills but he doesnt have the gift that you do. He can't understand her as... deeply as you could." Lazarus felt her brows arch, the only sign of her sudden understanding. The supreme one wanted her to manipulate these people, to make sure they did her bidding. 'Well, she at least wants me to manipulate the woman,' "she, like you, is from another world though her powers aren't natural to her race. They were obtained in an accident, an accident she has no way of remembering. The commander, Yon Rogg, made the decision to bring her here, to make her one of our own. He knew she was to be a weapon, a brave and powerful warrior like all Kree and yet, I feel as though I've heard too many... unsavory things about their relationship that I can't just ignore it. He is manipulating her, convincing her into thinking that he is the only one she can depend on and follow, and we both know why we can not have that." 'We can not risk a fanatic coming into power now, with how far we've come, and how hard Ronan and the others have worked. How hard the supreme one has worked and how long they've been waiting for their plans to come to fruition.' Stepping around the sparring pair once more, the supreme one smiled, though it wasnt a thoughtful or kind smile. It was the kind of smile Lazarus offered someone she was about to kill. Charming but oh so terrifying. "I want you to win their favor and if you must, eliminate the commander, if you deem it necessary. Loyal soldiers are a dime in a dozen but people like you and the girl, are quite hard to come by." Lazarus gave a nod of understanding, the supreme one closing the distance between them once more, Lazarus forcing herself to look into the eyes that mirrored her own, the face that she was sure the supreme one took, knowing that she could never say no to it. "I know you won't let me down, my sweet Nova."

"Of course not," mother.

"Commander," Lazarus was pulled from her thoughts, the blue skinned Kree before her frowning lightly at her glazed over eyes. Glancing around, Ronan sat beside the young woman on the bench she had taken refuge on, his dark brows pulling together in concern. "Thinking about your transfer?" She gave a nod, not being able to look him in the eye. He cared for her deeply, she knew it, and she was sure the supreme one knew it as well. It was the reason she had been placed under him in the first place. 'Nothing makes someone more loyal to a cause than an emotional attachment.' She wanted to grimace but knew that would only cause the blue skinned general beside her to worry, so instead she kept her neutral expression, turning her golden eyes on her closest friend.

"Yes, sir, but you know I live to serve," Ronan gave a firm nod of his head, his hand balling in his lap, forcing himself to not reach out to comfort her. She would be leaving soon, her company having become something he was far too accustom to. 'She will need to be able to handle these things alone,' though a small part of him knew that he would be the one struggling to keep himself in check, where as Lazarus was almost always in complete control of her emotions. 'And if she isnt, she uses her emotions to unleash the full strength of her powers,' though it had been quite some time since he'd seen her lose her cool. "Do you know when you leave," his hand closed around hers, lacing the fingers of his left hand with her right.

"We are set to return to Hala for a resupply. From there I will meet my new team, and you will be sent out to the frontlines." Ronan nodded, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand, Lazarus making no move to stop or encourage the action. Squeezing his hand, Ronan paused, finding Lazarus watching him intently, her face giving nothing away. "Sir, it would be wise for us to get moving. Someone has to give out orders and direct the team." Ronan pushed himself up, watching as Lazarus stood, running her hand over her armor. It was very similar to the normal armor her fellow Kree wore, though hers was completely black, and had the outline of an all black bird reaching its wings towards the sky on the chest.

"Of course, if you'd lead the way," Lazarus stepped ahead of him, yellow eyes focused on the destination ahead of her, her mind far away. 'Starforce,' she mused internally, recognizing the name as the special op forces that were consistently on questionable and dangerous missions. 'Much like the ones I already carry out now,' though the mission she was about to be dispatched on was considered a scouting mission. She, and a small battalion of their men, would be dispatched to what was assumed to be an uninhabited planet that rested between Kree and Xandarian territory. The supreme one was hoping to use the planet as a possible staging ground for supplies for the Kree soldiers to use but not much was known about the planet, which had led them to this point. Stepping into the briefing room, Lazarus found her five man squad waiting for them, Ronan silently making his way to the table in the center of the room.

"Commander, General-," the five man team greeted in almost perfect sync, Ronan nodding his head in acknowledgment as Lazarus took center stage.

"Now that we are all here, we are being dispatched to this planet," a large blue planet appeared in a hologram above the table, its surface covered majorly with frozen water and minimal amounts of surface sprinkled in. "The planet is called Kallu, which was once inhabited by the Kallusians before their people were annihilated by the Yirbek during an interplanetary war. Since then, the planet has been considered uninhabited until recently, when Kree satellites picked up movement and heat signatures on the planet. Given that it is between us and several of our historical enemies, we are being tasked with making sure the planet has remained uninhabited and if it has not, to report in on our finds, and if the supreme one dubs it a necessity, eventually return to this planet to purify it." Her men nodded, the five man team consisting of three "pure" Kree and two "pink" Kree. "We will be moving out in two hours, I expect you all back here and ready to take off. I want us planet side by 1100 hours." With that her team dispersed to prep, Lazarus turning to mirror their actions, only to be intercepted by Ronan, his light blue eyes boring into her. "Ronan," his fingertips grazed her right cheek, a content sigh leaving her lips.

"Will you think of me while you're gone," she nodded her head, knowing that's the answer he wanted to hear. Stepping closer, his thumb trailed over her bottom, "say it." Her golden eyes pinched shut, Ronan leaning closer, his nose brushing hers.

"I'll think of you when I'm gone," his cool lips brushed tenderly against her own, Lazarus running her fingers up the side of his face. Allowing him to back her up, her legs thumped against the holotable in the middle of the room, Ronan easily picking her up and setting her on it. "Ronan, stop," her voice was firm, his lips trailing from hers to her jaw and neck. "If someone sees,"

"I don't care," he groaned, hands tightening around her hips. "You'll be away from me soon and I-," Ronan gasped in surprise, Lazarus biting down on his earlobe. "I'll miss you," his voice changed with the sincerity of his words, his hands trailing down from her hips to rest on her thighs. Closing her yellow eyes, Lazarus turned her face into his neck, allowing Ronan to hold her close. Their whole relationship was forced, Lazarus having never loved Ronan in the ways that he loved her. 'Yet, he can never know that, not until the Supreme One knows his loyalty is unwavering.' And yet, the supreme one was already using her in another ploy of hearts, to trick her fellow warrior. 'I live to serve,' she repeated her mantra, thinking of the man who had forced the mentality on her as a child. 'And it seems, no matter where I go, I will be reduced to this. Some sort of...,' shaking away the dark thoughts, Lazarus returned Ronans affections, opening her mouth to his prodding. 'I cant think like that, I have been chosen for my skills in battle and my ability to infiltrate the enemy. The supreme one would never treat me as father had or as he had.' But as she allowed Ronan to take her in the briefing room, his caresses full of a love she'd never return, she couldn't help but wonder if this was all she'd ever be good for.

Lazarus stood in the transport ship, yellow eyes focused on the wall across from her. Things had escalated quickly with Ronan and had ended with 20 minutes before she was to be to the ship. 'Thankfully, I prepped before the briefing,' it was the only thing that had saved the white haired young woman from being late.

"Commander, we are now entering Kallu's atmosphere. There appears to be a mild snow storm, which should give us plenty of cover, should we need it." Moving across the ship, Lazarus joined Za-Heer, her go to pilot, his grey eyes moving from the scenery to peak at her blank face.

"Perfect, I want you to take us down by that ridge, cant have anyone creeping up on us." She pointed out a large overhang, Za-Heer giving an affirmative nod as the commander made her way to her men. "Alright, boys, we are going to be on the surface within 10 minutes, I want you suited up and ready to go."

"Yes, sir,"

"Vas-Il, Ez-Zed, I want your trackers on and coms open, you'll cover our asses. Ag-Las, Stonn-Zag with me," turning to the fifth and newest member of her time, she gestured to the ship behind him. "Chek-Og, you stay with the ship and Za-heer. If we need backup, we will call for you. Everyone understand," her fingers moved to her concealed head, their helmets being activated before they had landed on the planet, given the quality of the air.

"Yes, sir," with that, Lazarus turned on her heel, leading her pair, one pink and one blue Kree, onwards and towards the last known movement on the planet.

Squinting against the snow that whirled around them, Lazarus looked down at the tracker on her wrist, a small frown on her lips. They'd been on the freezing planet for hours and they hadn't found anything. Coming to a halt, she ran her fingers over the device on her wrist, deciding the best course of action would to be contact the main ship and see if they were picking up anything that wasnt them. Ag-Las stood with his weapon drawn, his dark blue eyes running over the barren wasteland that made up the ice covered planet. Stonn-Zag stood a bit further away, his green eyes focused on the device on his wrist as well, his eyes widening when several red dots appeared on the small screen there.

"Commander," her yellow eyes had just moved to meet Stonn's when the ice below them shuddered. Stumbling slightly, Lazarus opened her mouth to bark out orders when the ice between them cracked.

"GET OFF THE ICE," Lazarus shouted, the trio darting across the frozen water and back towards the snow covered shore. Ag-Las cleared the water first, Lazarus falling slightly behind as Stonn-Zag's right leg was swallowed by the ice.

"Commander," Lazarus slid across the ice grabbing Stonn-Zag's arm and yanking him up, her yellow eyes widening when they landed on a creature that looked to be completely made of frozen flesh, it's long sharp teeth buried deep in his leg.

"Ag-Las!" The fair skinned man slid to a halt, weapon already aimed on the creature as it squirmed, tearing flesh and muscle. Pointing the weapon at the lowest point of the creature, he released a shot from his gun, a photon blast ripping through the creature as it hissed and released Stonn. Thankfully, the leg was still attached but blue blood was weeping from the wound. Slipping her right arm under him, Lazarus moved quickly forward, Ag-Las joining them as shots flew past them, pegging the creatures that popped up from under the frozen surface. Making their way across the water, Lazarus had just looked down at her wrist comm, Ronans voice being heard slightly over the sound of the creatures shrieking in pain, when Vas-Il's voice buzzed in her ear.

"Lazarus, below you!" The white haired woman shoved her teammates roughly forward, Stonn groaning as they rolled onto the shoreline. Hissing in pain, Lazarus looked down, finding two creatures, Lazarus noting they looked like some taloned humanoid fish, attached to her legs.

"For Odin's sake," Lazarus had barely finished the curse when she was yanked under the surface. Thankfully, the suits the Kree designed allowed her the ability to breathe underwater, though that would only help her so much as she was dragged deeper into the merky water below. Closing her eyes, she felt her powers shift inside her, black fire starting in her chest before shooting out of her, killing the two creatures attached to her. Opening her eyes, she found a lone creature floating further away from her, its pale skin stretched tightly across its bones. Opening its mouth, she found long razor sharp teeth, the creature releasing a horrifying sound before turning around and swimming away. Focusing the black energy that coursed through her on her lower body, she shot straight up, the ice above her melting before she broke through it, floating several meters in the air. Stonn-Zag and Ag-Las watched on, finding a woman whose whole body was made of a black energy floating above them, with what appeared to be white flames making up long hair that floated above her head.

"Commander, what was that thing?" Lazarus landed lightly before them, the black fire quickly receding until she stood in her all black armor, her appearance back to normal.

"I'm not sure but, it seems that they're living somewhere deep below the planets surface. They seem... primitive though that may be the grunts of their species. I intend on following them below the surface once I get you back to the ship for medical care." Stonn-Zag grimaced, hating missing out on fighting but knowing better than to argue with the yellow eyed commander. "Vas-Il, Ez-Zed, we are regrouping at the ship. Keep an eye out for any movement until we're clear,"

"Roger that, commander," Lazarus stepped up, joining Ag-Las in helping Stonn-Zag cross the snowy terrain. Grimacing, her legs ached where the creatures had bit into her, the wounds slowly knitting themselves shut. Sadly, Stonn-Zag's healing abilities weren't on the same level as hers, the mans teeth grounding loudly together. "Za-heer," the bald man was next to them in an instant, the white haired woman gently helping Stonn-Zag lay down on the small medical table Za-heer had set up in advance.

"Help me remove his armor," the blue kree directed, Ag-Las stepping forward to assist the pilot/medic. Lazarus lingered, watching the pair briefly before turning away, already having a plan. Exiting the ship, she found her men outside of the ship, Ez-Zed seated on top of the ship, gun trained on the distance.

"Ez-Zed, I want you to stay put. You will be our eyes and ears on the surface. Vas-Il, Chek-Og, you're with me. We're going below the surface. I want to see where their base of operation is and judge if they're advanced enough to have traveled here or if they've merely evolved below the surface. From there, we will report in, and the Supreme One can decide what they think the best course of action is. We leave in 15 minutes, gather supplies, and eat something before we leave." With that, she turned on her heel, reentering the ship. Moving to the cockpit, she ran a finger over the comm, the holographic image of Ronan appearing before her. "I apologize for missing your contact before, Accuser,"

"Status Report," Lazarus' face remained neutral despite her mild annoyance at Ronans shortness.

"We have found the cause of the movement on the planet. They seem to be primitive underwater humanoids that likely evolved from some sort of bottom feeding predator long before the Kallusians were wiped out. They attacked us, Stonn-Zag having taken the brunt of their attack. I am now leading a small group of us below the surface to see if they're worthy of being ruled by the Kree or if they should be purified." Ronans blue eyes ran over her silently, a small grimace on his pale blue lips.

"Do you really believe that to be necessary?" Her brows creased slightly, Lazarus finding herself wondering what the blue skinned man could have found out that would have him so displeased with her. "If you believe they evolved from a preexisting species and are... primitive, do you truly believe that we would have a use for them? That the supreme one would?" Standing firm, Lazarus balled her hands into tight fists, happy he could only see so much of her.

"Are you saying that you wish for me to purify them now? That you want me to go down there and slaughter each and everyone of them? You know that I live to serve you, Ronan, but also know that i won't be coerced into doing something that goes against my orders from the supreme one." Ronans back straightened, his blue eyes holding an emotion Lazarus couldn't quite place. "Ronan-,"

"Make it quick. If I dont hear from you within the next 5 hours, I will assume the worst and the planet will be purified, with or without you on it." With that, the blue eyed man vanished, leaving his commander trembling with rage. 'Calm yourself, ' she spoke gently, turning on her heels and heading back to her men, her lips pressed in a tight line.

"I'm assuming it didnt go well," Chek-Og questioned, Vas-Il reaching out and slapping the younger man's arm.

"Dont question our commander," though that didnt stop him from turning to her, a question burning in his violet eyes.

"What gave it away?" She joked lightly, Vas-Il tapping the spot next to his right eye, Lazarus immediately understanding, her eyes turning black when her temper flared and her powers made themselves known. "We have 5 hours to investigate the creatures that attacked us and report back before the Accusers come and purify this planet," Lazarus leaving the unsavory remark she wanted to make about her blue eyed General out. "Were you able to prep?" A clip clicking into place captured the white haired womans attention, Ag-Las making his way down the ramp of the ship to join the trio.

"Yes, sir, we are ready to head out when you are." Shaking her head, Lazarus decided that it was likely best to bring three men instead of two.

"Alright, I want everyone to keep their comms open and stay close to me. We dont know what all these creatures are capable of or how many of them there are." Taking point she escorted them back to the last place they'd seen the creatures. Lazarus dove first, the trio of men following after her, the four man squad activating their suits and shooting through the murky water. Keeping her eyes peeled, Lazarus followed the direction she saw the creature head in, the small team finding themselves traveling deeper and deeper into the dark depths below. Coming to a stop, Lazarus reached up, adjusting the light that was attached to her helmet.

"Holy shit," Chek-Og spoke up, the team finding themselves floating before a completely sunken city, its large buildings still standing, though they could make out several deep water plants growing from the decaying structures.

"It would seem our underwater friends have made their homes in the ruins of the Kallusians." Lazarus nodded at Vas-Ils operation, raising her wrist comm up to check for any sign of the creatures they had seen before.

"They're here," her voice was clear, yellow eyes snapping up to where there seemed to be the largest amount of them. "Be ready," her team didnt need to be told twice, Lazarus taking point once more. They didnt get far before the creatures made themselves known, several surrounding the small team. "We don't make a move until they do," her men obeyed despite the small voices in their heads telling them to attack. Eventually, one creature left the circle, coming to float before them. This one, like the others, had a humanoid face but was missing a nose, instead it had slits where its nose would have been. On its head were what look to be soft, winding attachments on its head that were likely its equivalent of hair. Letting her yellow eyes wander, she realized that there were two major differences between the creature before her and those that attacked her. This one, had two breast like sacks on its chest with slits on the sides that appeared to house gills, and from the hip down had several tentacles with suction cups scattered on their inside. She, Lazarus assumed, had fair skin, that got darker, transitioning from a soft tan to a deep violet, as it went from hip to tentacle. Glancing at her men, Lazarus moved forward to meet the creature, it's all black eyes boring into her. "Hello," her voice was confident, despite her rather overwhelming fight or flight response telling her to fight. "I am Lazarus, commander of the Kree military." Opening her mouth, Lazarus could make out several sharp teeth, that curved out, giving her a sinister look.

"I am Odessa, leader of the Mavkas," her voice was misleading soft, her black eyes moving past Lazarus to size up her men. "What are you doing here, Kree?" She spoke their peoples name without malice or distaste, Lazarus feeling correct in her assumptions that they were a primitive race.

"My leader sent us here to scout your planet. Our Intel, up until recently, had led us to believe that this planet was uninhabited since the Kallusians were annihilated some time ago." Odessa nodded, though her mouth pulled into a frown.

"So you are not here to help us?" Lazarus' brows cinched in confusion.

"Help you? Your people attacked us without as much as a hello. If that's how theh greet everyone that comes to this planet, I'm unsurprised you havent received aid." Odessa's eyes flashed and her teeth bared,

"They only attacked you because they were scared! They saw your weapons and assumed that you had come to our home to annihilate us, just like they tried to." This immediately piqued her interest, her face remaining impassive despite the importance of her words.

"Who? Who tried to kill you?" Odessa glanced over her shoulder at those who were gathered behind her, Lazarus noting that they had stopped circling her team, watching their interaction closely.

"We dont know. They came, an army of metal and flesh creatures, that waged war against those on the surface and a giant purple man who... who seemed to rule them. My father fell to him, as did most of our warriors. That was years ago, and since then my people have been hiding. They didn't feel safe for a long time but... but I wanted more for my people and so we slowly began swimming closer and closer to the surface until we finally saw the sun once more." 'A giant purple man,' there was only one person who fit the description that she could think of. A man she was far too familiar with. 'Thanos, the mad titan. What would he be doing here, of all places?' She felt the smallest flicker of worry but knew that the man from her nightmares had other plans that didnt involve invading Hala. 'He's a mad man, afterall,' but that didn't mean she wasnt going to mention him once more to her superiors.

"That's unfortunate," Lazarus knew that wasnt the smoothest thing to say but couldn't find it in herself to focus, her mind moving away from the mercreature before her. "I'm assuming your people are starving, from your sunken appearances and thin flesh," Odessa looked away, wrap her almost skeletal arms around herself. "I can not promise my superiors will help you but I know it wouldn't hurt to ask. Especially if you decide that you wish to swear your allegiance to us," Odessa's black eyes hardened,

"Swear our loyalty to you?" Lazarus nodded, not offering the woman any further of an explanation.

"Yes, if we expend our resources to help you, we will want something in return. Given the position of your planet, it would likely be a base of operation for refueling and resupplying our ships as they travel from place to place but, that's something that can be discussed later. We are set to return to our mother ship, where my superiors will decide if we're able to offer aid. If you tell me now that you're willing to swear yourselves to us, I can guarantee that they will send aid but, if you wait and turn us down...," Odessa nodded slowly, her black eyes narrowed at the place between the two of them. Pausing, she looked the white haired woman in the eye, ignoring the black eyes that were focused on them.

"If it means my people will no longer starve and die, I will do it." Lazarus felt her lips twitch, loving when negotiations went her way.

"Thank you, Odessa, I am sure you wont regret this," Odessa looked unsure but didnt argue her point. "Gentlemen, we will be returning to the ship now. Odessa," reaching down, Lazarus pulled a simple communicator from her wrist comm, holding it out to the mercreature before her. "We will be in contact with you shortly, I would suggest that you communicate to your people that they're coming. I was willing to forgive your people for their mistake of attacking us but I can not promise my superiors will be as forgiving." With that, she turned to her men, gesturing for them to head out. They had just broken through the surface, Ag-Las moving forward to make their team aware of what had transpired when Chek-Og placed his hand on Lazarus' shoulder.

"Do you think they'll help them?" Lazarus hesitated, turning to eye up her newest recruit. She wanted to answer honestly but found herself hesitating, looking past the younger man to the hole that they had come up from.

"All we can do is hope that they will," Chek-Og didnt seem satisfied with her answer but made no move to argue, stepping past the fair haired woman and entering the ship. Releasing a sigh, Lazarus steeled her emotions and followed her men on board, her mind moving to the irritating conversation she was sure she was about to have with her commanding officer. 'If we dont have a use for them, theyll be annihilated, just like every other race the supreme one has dubbed unworthy.' Shaking her head, she told herself the same thing she had told Chek-Og. 'I guess all we can do is hope for the best.'

Lazarus stood stock still, yellow eyes holding no emotion as she looked upon Ronan. His face was blank but she could see it in his eyes, he had chosen their fate the moment she had argued with him. 'The moment I said I served the supreme one above all,' Lazarus didnt even flinch as Ronan barked out the killing order. She was use to this, she understood her place, but as her yellow eyes left the face of the man who loved her to look upon the face of her newest recruit, she wondered if Chek-Og ever would.

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 9

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Alone Again”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 7,782

Warnings: ???

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: This was one of the more difficult chapters to make it through, since I wanted to follow the timeline of events in IM3 (one of my favorite movies in the MCU), but I also wanted to tie in Eva. I hope Tony lives up to your expectations. I try to pull pieces from the MCU version, comic book version, and my own personal ideas. Once again, you’re all so amazing for even reading this in the first place. I love all of you so, so, so much <3 -Ellie

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

When I landed, a chill overcame me as soon as the bridge disappeared from around me. I gazed around at the ground that surrounded the ring the Bifrost left and noticed that it was all snow. I pulled the hood of my white robe over my head and pulled the robes around my body, feeling warmer instantly. As I gazed up into the crystal clear night sky, I saw the stars twinkling and shimmering. Midgard had some of the most beautiful views of the sky, but it was nothing close to the view from the edge of Asgard. Still, whenever Loki and I were on Midgard, we would find a way to lay in the grass and gaze up at the stars for a while. Suddenly, I noticed him. At first, he looked more like a falling star than the armored man. Seeing his trajectory, I knew that he was bound to fly right into the forest next to me.

I ran over to the trees and rested my hand against them. As I closed my eyes, I connected with the essence of life within the planet itself. She was beautiful, strong, and loving without expecting any love in return. The Midgardians often treated her poorly, but she continued to provide for them as best she could. I focused on the pulsing energy beneath the tips of my fingers as the sound of the suit rocketing toward the Earth faded away. The sound wasn’t replaced by another, but instead, it was replaced by the beautiful silence of the world. In the silence, my soul became eternally bound to hers. It was an experience that I had on my own, as no other Asgardian I confided in had ever felt that way before. However, it made my bonds with the life energies of every world that much more powerful. When our souls bound together, she finally heard my heart, and I could feel the tree beneath my hand shift. I felt them all shift.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that the trees had separated just enough to accommodate Tony’s fall, and as he zoomed past me and through the forest, I thanked her for her act of generosity. I began running after him, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to catch him, not before he stopped himself. He bounced off the ground a few more times, which slowed him down. Nearly as soon as he made it out of the forest, I had caught up to him enough to grab hold of his suit in an attempt to stop him. The metal slipped from my fingers, and he skidded across the ground before coming to a complete stop, face first in the snow. I hid myself in the darkness that the forest provided once the trees moved back into place. The light from the stars and moon in the night sky left shadows in the woods that I faded into.

As I camouflaged myself in the darkness, I watched as one of the greatest heroes I knew groaned and turned himself over onto his back before reaching up and tearing off the metal faceplate, “what the hell was that?” he asked aloud to the artificial intelligence we all knew as Jarvis. I could hear the change in his breathing pattern. I had such a strong connection to him that I could feel every subtle change within him, sometimes before they even happened. I knew that he was paranoid about what just happened, “did you see that beam of light in the sky, Jay? Was it just me? Am I going crazy? Where are we” he asked, his voice trembling.

I didn’t hear Jarvis’ response, but if I closed my eyes, I could hear that voice. It was smoother than anyone could have anticipated from a disembodied, artificial voice. As Tony’s suit opened, I watched as he shot out of it, sitting up and staring into the woods he had just barrelled through. I knew he was trying to think of how he possibly made it out of there without crashing through trees and hitting branches. His eyes scanned the shadows, but I blended in so well that he wouldn’t be able to see me even if he was staring right at me. I watched as he began to shudder from the cold, “that’s brisk!” he exclaimed, his entire body trembling from the cold. I couldn’t imagine how it must’ve felt for him. I was lucky enough to be impervious to the fluctuating seasons. The extreme heat and cold wouldn’t kill me, but it could make me uncomfortable, and I was pretty uncomfortable in that moment, “maybe I’ll just cozy back up for a-”

Tony was cut off by the disembodied voice that came from the open suit, “I...actually think I need to sleep now, sir,” Jarvis said, the suit beginning to power down.

“Jarvis. Jarvis?” Tony asked, panic in his voice. I knew he didn’t want to be left alone, not after what he just went through. I didn’t know what led up to him rocketing down toward the ground, but I could tell by the fear in his voice, the cuts on his face, and the shaking in his hands that things were far from being alright for him. He was terrified, and it wasn’t because of what just happened, it was because of something else, something I needed to help him with. As his eyes continued to scan the forest around him, I stepped out of the shadows and listened to his breath hitch in his throat. As I stepped out of the forest and closed the space between us, I lowered the hood of my robes, “Eva?” he asked, his body continuing to quake in anticipation, uncertainty, and the cold.

The sides of my mouth pulled up into a smile, and I did my best to push back the pain in my abdomen for the moment in order to be positive for his sake, “hi, Tony,” I murmured, my heart filling with joy as it finally sank in that he was alive. When Heimdall told me that he was in danger, I was worried that I wouldn’t make it to him in time or that he would already be dead.

His dark brown eyes remained wide, even as I knelt down beside him. He was in utter disbelief that I was even there in front of him, and there would be little to nothing I could do to ease his mind. The last time we saw each other, I had made it abundantly clear that I would only be back in the most dire circumstances that pertained to her safety. However, I knew that she wasn’t in danger with Steve; there was no way he would allow harm to come to her, especially not after all we had been through. Tony was the only one whose life was on the line. He shook his head, his eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly as he tried to blink away what he thought was an illusion, “am I dreaming?” he asked, the words causing me to let out a chuckle, “am I dead?” he asked, not understanding why he was seeing me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering why it was so hard for a genius like him to figure it out. I knew that part of it was how I left things when I went back to Asgard the last time, but I also knew that a part of it was because he couldn’t wrap his mind around why someone would care about him enough to go out of their way to help him. It was devastating to see him trying to figure out why people would care about him in the first place, and I was watching it happen in front of my eyes in that very moment, “no, why?” I asked, wrapping my cloak around his shoulders to keep him warm. The lack of warmth from my cloak left my patches of bare skin prey for the cold air around us. Tony was warm, though, and that was all that mattered.

As he tried to shrug out of the cloak, not wanting me to go without, I shook my head and watched as the robes stayed locked around his body. He looked genuinely confused, but he was still too busy trying to decipher my presence, “what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, finally giving up the fight to figure it out on his own. Suddenly, his eyes filled with dread, “is she okay?” he asked, knowing that there should’ve been no reason for my presence as long as she was safe.

I gave a simple nod, not wanting to talk about her, “I’m here to help. I saw that you were in trouble, so I’m here to help you sort through it and to make sure you don’t get yourself killed, which it seems like you’re trying to do,” I said, gazing at the cuts on his face. There was one across the bridge of his nose, one on his cheek, and one on his forehead. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to piece together what happened before I got there, what happened to lead to him rocketing toward the Earth, looking just as busted up as Hjalmar did when he trained with Ephinea. She could lay him out without missing a beat, “you’re bleeding!” I exclaimed, reaching out to cup his cheek only for him to wince away from me.

That single move tore my heart to pieces, as if there was still enough of it left whole for that to happen. I had always been able to see through the facade he put up, but this was something new. He was far more vulnerable than ever before in that one reaction, and it summed up the way he saw himself. It summed up just how little he believed he was worth. He didn’t think himself worthy enough for my help, and he was afraid that I would hurt him. It hurt to know that he could view me as a threat, but it hurt me even more that someone or something hurt him so badly that he was conditioned to expect that. Tony had been through a lot, far more than he ever could’ve imagined, far more than many others could handle. He was tender-hearted but hid away that side of himself to appear cold, to appear “strong.”

I blinked the tears away, not wanting to show him how much his action truly hurt me, “I can fix it,” I explained, causing him to finally show himself to me. His eyebrows furrowed, and I knew that he doubted my abilities, but he would see them in a moment. I reached up once more, focusing on the slow movement of my hand, making sure not to startle him again. The entire time, I felt his gaze on me, and once I finally rested my hand against his cheek, I met his intense stare, brown eyes boring into mine. They were so deep that the further I fell into his gaze, the warmer I became. As I focused my power, I felt his wounds transferring through my fingertips and onto me, and his eyes fluttered closed. Even though it was always an unpleasant experience, even though my whole body ached, the piece that made the transfer worth it was knowing that the pain I endured was a pain he no longer needed to carry. For a man like Tony, I would take on a pain that would take my life just so the world could keep him.

Once I removed my hand from his cheek, his eyes shot open. Every time I touched someone, I knew the effect. Our souls-for that moment-were connected. I didn’t understand why or how it happened, but it did. When I used my abilities on that person through the touch, the connection was heightened. When I stopped using my abilities and pulled away, it was like an electrical shock, leaving the other person slightly mystified. When Tony finally realized what I had done, seeing the cuts on my face that once belonged to him, his eyebrows furrowed, “how did-why did you do that?” he asked, tripping over his own words.

“I wanted to help,” I answered simply before standing up and holding my hand out for him to join me. He took it, and I pulled him up to his feet. He brushed himself off beneath the cloak that fell from his broad shoulders. For a moment, I saw Howard once more, and I realized how similar they looked but how much gentler Tony was than his father. I cleared my throat, not wanting to waste time reminiscing when I didn’t know the kind of danger Tony was in, “come. Let us find somewhere warmer,” I stated, and he nodded his head in agreement. Even though he was warm in the robes, I knew he only agreed because he was worried about me, and he would’ve attempted to give the robes back if he didn’t already know what my response would have been. We learned a lot about each other in New York, “we should make our way toward the closest town. I will carry the suit. Just follow me and try not to freeze to death.”

He shook his head as soon as I mentioned his suit, and I knew that it was the same reaction I would’ve received if I offered to carry a mother’s newborn child away from her. He was simply protective over his creations, and he had good reason to be. He worked tirelessly on them, and I saw what his obsession and perfectionist mentality had done to him. He wanted to protect the things he nearly killed himself trying to perfect, “I can carry the-” his voice trailed off as I lifted the suit into my arms, and rested it over my shoulder like Hjalmar did to me countless times before throwing me into the pond in the woods behind our cottage. I watched as Tony’s eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, “yeah, you can...carry the suit,” he murmured.

I chuckled, knowing that he seemingly forgot that I was not of this world, that our anatomy, while very  similar, was different. I was no goddess, but Asgardians were physically stronger than the people of Midgard and were more durable for the most part. Closing my eyes, I felt my life connecting with the essence of the world beneath my feet, and I listened to the gentle thrumming that surrounded me. I could where it was coming from, and when I opened my eyes, I began following it with Tony close behind me. He picked up his pace and gazed up at me, “how do you even know which way we’re going? Have you been in this area before?” he asked, unsure of how I knew where I was.

I shook my head, “no, but I can feel it,” I answered, not knowing exactly how to explain it, but I could still feel his confusion. Tony was very grounded in science and logic, but there were certain things about me, certain things about the world I knew, that weren’t grounded in anything I could explain with science or with a language he would know. I didn’t even know how to comprehend some of my abilities, and there were times when I lived in fear of them because they had a tendency to show up out of the blue. I wasn’t a goddess, but I had been granted strengths and abilities that were uncommon in the lives of the average Asgardian. I continued to speak, knowing that he would remain uncertain as long as his unasked question went unanswered, “it’s a lot like a vibration. I can feel the essence of life, and I can feel it when it’s close. I just know the way to go,” I explained to the best of my ability.

I glanced over at him, and our eyes connected. I saw every vulnerability he had in that moment, and he knew I could see it, but he didn’t try to hide from me. Our connection, while strange, was deep and unbreakable. No amount of time or space could break what we had, and that all began far before he could remember, far before I would ever disclose. He gave a simple nod of his head, content with the answer I gave, even though it was vague and confusing, “I trust you,” he remarked, an intensity in his eyes that could match a dying star.

“I won’t let you down,” I promised before gazing down at the snow that covered the ground in a blanket of white. We walked in silence for a while as we both tried to wrap our minds around what was happening in our own personal lives. I knew that Tony would be too respectful of my privacy to press the question of why I was on Midgard helping him. He knew what coming back to this world meant to me, the kind of pain and distress it would cause me, so he couldn’t understand why I would come back to help him with something that wasn’t a threat on a worldwide scale, not like Loki had been in New York. I didn’t know if he was willing to talk about the events that led up to him crashing into a field of snow so far from civilization, so we walked in silence until we saw the lights radiating from a small town.

“Maybe we should look for a phone, so you can try to contact Pepper to let her know you’re safe,” I noted, making a mental note to find someone who was willing to spare their phone for Tony to use, “she must be worried sick about you.”

He cleared his throat, and I felt a shift in his energy. Glancing over at him, I saw the frown etched deeply into his face, and I knew that he was upset by my words. Before I had the chance to apologize, he spoke, “she actually left after New York,” he confessed, “she said that it was too much to handle, especially since I wasn’t willing to put my suits to rest. How could I, though, especially after seeing what the world was up against?” he asked, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the warmth beneath the robes.

I frowned, “you’ve been a hero to the world for a long time, Tony. You made the choice to become a hero, and that choice didn’t come from a place of arrogance or need for a higher level of fame. You became a hero because you have the compassion this world so desperately needs. You took the weight of the world onto your shoulders and fought on behalf of those who couldn’t fight for themselves. If my words mean anything, you should know that you more than earned the luxury of hanging up the mantle of Iron Man and living as Tony Stark,” I explained, “I’m not telling you that you need to, and I’m not telling you that she was right for leaving. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you anymore.”

He shook his head, “she moved on. She’s with a new guy in a new city, and she’s happy. That’s all I ever wanted for her, and I think that deep down, I knew she wouldn’t find that with me,” he stated.

My eyes immediately filled with tears as I listened to him talk about himself like there was something wrong with him. I blinked the tears away, but the ache in my heart was still there, “I really wish you could see yourself the way I see you because you’d understand just how brilliant and incredible you truly are, Tony. It hurts to hear the way you talk about yourself, like you’re not worthy of love because...you’re wrong,” I stated, shaking my head.

Then, there was silence again. All I could hear was the snowflakes falling from the sky. Some of them even clung to Tony’s long eyelashes, which I couldn’t help but notice when I glanced over at him, wanting to know if I had crossed a line with him. Feeling my gaze, he met my eyes with his once more, a light smile tugging at his lips, “so, if you aren’t down here for her, why come here for me?” he asked, questioning my reasoning with furrowed eyebrows. I knew that his confusion stemmed from my previous statements that I wouldn’t come back to Midgard unless her life was in danger or that the safety of the entire planet was on the line.

“I told Heimdall to keep an eye on certain people at all times-her, the other Avengers, and you,” I noted, feeling the disbelief within him when I mentioned him. The man never saw himself as worthy of anything, especially love or concern, “I assigned him the task of watching over you all, and he would fill me in on any changes as they presented themselves. He promised to alert me if any of your lives were in danger, and when he disclosed to me that you were in danger, I came right away,” I explained.

“So, you didn’t live up to your word,” he stated, nonchalantly, the hint of an entertained smirk forming on his lips. He was amused that he was right, as he had argued with me furiously when I promised not to come back. He told me that it was selfish and abhorrent to leave so many people who cared about me so much, and he also told me that I wouldn’t be able to stay away for long, not with the “heart of gold” he claimed I had. I didn’t believe it, though. How could I believe I was “good” or “worthy” when the favor I asked of him was so selfish, when I was poisoning everyone around me, when I was repeating the same injustice that was done to me when I wasn’t even old enough to comprehend it.

I sighed, “I couldn’t live up to my word, not with this. You were right, though, Tony. It was ignorant of me to think that I could stay away, especially from you,” I noted, glancing up at him to see that he tried to hide the color that rose to his cheeks the moment I paid him a compliment.

He cleared his throat, obviously not comfortable calling attention to the effect my words had on him in that moment. It wasn’t my intention to cause him discomfort, but perhaps I just had a tendency to do so. I could vividly remember my words of praise having the same effect on Loki, Thor, Hjalmar, Ephinea, and every Midgardian I came in contact with, including the ever stoic Natasha Romanoff. Tony glanced up at me, his brown eyes sparkling as if the galaxy resided within them, “well, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t like having to admit I need help, but it wouldn’t hurt to have an Asgardian in my corner for this one,” he noted, a slight grin tugging at his lips.

“We’re going to fix this together. You won’t face this alone, Tony; you never face anything alone,” I reminded him, knowing that he had a tendency to believe himself to be isolated, but as long as I was alive, there would never come a day he would be alone. I would be his guardian, regardless of the amount of times he tried to talk me out of risking my life for his. I had come to understand that we-as living beings-wish to preserve things that we deem better than ourselves, and Tony Stark was far better than I was.

The silence fell between us once more, and I found myself enjoying the soft crunch of snow beneath our feet. However, the sensation of the falling snowflakes left my cheeks wet and bitter cold. There was nothing quite like the sensation of his warmth invading my own, though. He drew closer and closer to me until there was little space between us, and he pushed the robe back just enough to slip his hand out from under it and grasp mine. As soon as our skin touched, I felt the uncertainty and the fear within him. He was terrified of the future, and my presence-somehow-gave him the support he so desperately needed in that trying time. His sudden firm, yet gentle, grasp of my hand made me realize the impact I could have on the life of a man who meant so much to me, and I could only hope I didn’t ruin it again.

For the remainder of our journey, I continued to carry the suit with one arm while the fingers of my opposite hand intertwined perfectly with those of the brilliant man beside me, “what has it been like?” he asked, vaguely, causing my eyebrows to furrow. I could feel what he wanted to ask me, but I was too afraid to answer him, so I resorted to confusion, “it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I don’t have a watcher like you do. The last time you left, I was...worried, and I haven’t seen you since. I just want to know what has gone on in your life,” he explained, his heart of gold shining through once more, as if I could possibly forget how tender he always was with me.

My heart broke as I thought of all that had happened since we’d last seen each other. No matter how terrible I felt at our last encounter, I felt impossibly worse in the aftermath of it. It was as if I tore the remainder of my heart out when we last saw each other and left it on Midgard. While it was broken and abused, I was lost without it, and with the loss of my brother and the struggles I had recently with Loki, I realized just how turbulent my life had been since I’d seen him. The last time we spoke, I was doing my best to fix the damaged pieces of myself and of my relationship with Loki. Knowing he was still alive renewed my drive to rescue him from the dark recesses of his own mind, a darkness that hadn’t been there from the beginning. Since that time, I had no opportunities to better myself or help Loki or keep the people I loved most safe. I sighed, “well…” I breathed out, not knowing how to explain everything to him. He had asked many questions when we “first” met, so he knew about Hjalmar and my past. The only thing he didn’t know about was my history with Loki.

My heart began racing in anticipation for having to open up about the complete and utter failure my life had been from the moment I left him on the rooftop in tears; however, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by a small and flickering light. The energy I felt was untamed, and I was caught off guard by the sudden pull to that place in particular. I pulled my hand away from his and pointed at the dim light, “look!” I exclaimed, urging Tony to take notice of our shelter for the night. I was more than grateful to have been saved from needing to talk about Hjalmar and Loki, knowing that I wouldn’t have been able to lie to Tony, not without him seeing right through me. I would’ve had no choice but to be honest with him about what I had gone through since our last encounter.

As we drew closer to the small shack, we saw it was adjacent to an equally small house that looked to be in need of some manual labor. After passing through one last clump of trees, we came to the clearing only to see the small town spread out only a short distance from the shack. I felt the vibrations becoming stronger and stronger within my body as we drew closer to our shelter for the night, and I glanced over at Tony’s face to see a look of pure relief. I knew that he had some doubts that we would manage to find our way to civilization, especially after his bad luck leading up to that point. Peeking in through the window of the house, he concluded that no one was home, but I couldn’t understand why my senses were so wrong. I could feel a powerful pull to this place, and if no one was there, it would be meaningless.

Once we broke into the shack-an easy feat when Tony had a crowbar-I stepped inside the air that was just a touch warmer than the outside and placed the suit down on the floor. As I stood back up, a pulse of fire radiated from the wound on my abdomen, causing my body to seize. Before Tony could notice, I forced myself to stand back up and push the pain as far away as possible. When I stood back up, I took in the sight of Tony sitting on a stool next to a workbench, barely lit by the light of a small lamp. He gazed around the dimly lit room, all while I gazed at him, and the vibrations became more and more powerful, almost like when I first met her.

“Freeze!” I heard the small but strong voice coming from the doorway Tony and I had just come through. Suddenly, the vibration stopped, and I felt the serenity wash over me. The boy was small and looked frail with golden hair that melted into strands of brown and green eyes, “don’t move,” he ordered, pointing the contraption in his hands at Tony.

I glanced over at my companion and noticed that he had his hands raised as a sign of surrender, and I wondered if my help was necessary against such a small opponent. Tony sighed, “You got me. Nice potato gun,” he complimented the young boy.

The small child looked up at me, and I couldn’t help but smile down at him, easing his nerves slightly. If I had been able to touch him, I could’ve calmed his nerves with a bit of focus, but I knew better than to reach out to a scared child. I wanted to help him, not traumatize him, and the situation we were in was traumatizing enough. He looked afraid as he gripped his “potato gun” that he would use for protection against us-the intruders; however, the moment I smiled at him, I watched as his fingers loosened on the barrel and trigger, and his lips curled up the slightest bit, “who are you?”

I knelt down to the floor, getting down onto his level and showing him that I wasn’t a threat. His breathing became slow and steady as he looked me over a few times, taking in the differences between myself and other people he had come into contact with, “my name is Eva, and you are?” I asked.

“Harley,” he answered politely, his green eyes flickering between mine, “why are you dressed like that?” he asked, lowering his makeshift weapon and gesturing at my armor.

I smiled at his innocent question, and I knew there was no way around it. I didn’t have to tell him I was an Asgardian, but I couldn’t lie to him either. I knew that the vibrations I had been feeling were because of the life force of the child in front of me, “where I’m from, this is what we wear to protect ourselves in battle, so when I leave home, I wear something similar to protect myself from other worthy opponents I may meet along the way,” I said, explaining it to him as thoroughly as possible without telling him outright where I was from.

His eyes continued to scan my body until they caught sight of the hilt of the sword over my shoulder, at which point I saw his eyes widen, “you’re the Mother Goddess!” he exclaimed, causing my eyebrows to furrow in confusion. I had never heard that name before, and I wondered if he had me confused with someone else. I glanced over at Tony who just gave me a simple nod of his head, letting me know that Harley was being completely honest, but I had no idea where that name came from. I wasn’t a goddess by any means of the word, so I didn’t know why I would be called that. Seeing my confusion, Harley spoke again, “you fought in New York, right?” he asked

I nodded my head, “I did,” I answered, my voice soft as I recalled some of the worst moments of my life thus far.

“And you’re one of the heroes from that day?” he asked, sweetness in his small voice.

I shook my head, “no, not a hero. I just-”

Tony’s voice from the workbench cut me off, causing both Harley and myself to switch our focus over to him, “yes, a hero,” he corrected me, his eyes connecting with Harley’s, “she nearly gave her life to protect Earth, and the name Earth gave her was fitting,” he said, his eyes flickering over to me, “you have a bit of a reputation here on Earth ever since New York. I was going to explain it to you tonight before we ran into anyone who recognized you, but I wasn’t anticipating any visitors,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“Neither was I,” Harley interjected before glancing back over at me, “the people here gave you that name. We didn’t know who you were, so we just started calling you the Mother Goddess. Some people just call you Mother.”

“Where did it come from?” I asked, wondering why people chose that nickname over all others that may have crossed their minds.

Tony interjected again, and my eyes met his, “because you loved this world so much that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for every living being on it. You were the mother to the population of the world that day, loving every person so unconditionally and so instantaneously. The love the people had for you pulled the population of the Earth together. You saved so many people in New York, even after you had nearly died. You sifted through the rubble to rescue the survivors of buildings that had collapsed, and you stood against the danger to protect us all. You were a mother to the world, and the people here will never forget that,” he explained before the room around me began spinning.

I tried to focus my eyes on him but failed, the feeling being similar to the one I experienced when I was stabbed by Loki in New York. The wound on my abdomen began pulsing, and the pain made me want to scream, but still, I wouldn’t worry Tony with my problems, not when I was on Midgard to assist him with his own. As Harley spoke directly to Tony, my ears began ringing. It felt like that was it, like this was the end. As my chest began to tighten, I hurried out of the shack, mumbling something I couldn’t even hear to Tony. I hoped it was coherent enough to let him know that I just needed some air. If I was going to die, I wanted to do so alone to keep from hurting those who cared about me, and Tony was one of those people. He didn’t deserve to watch me die, not when he had been one of the few people who made me want to live.

Using all the strength I had, I stumbled out of the shack and out into the woods once more before falling to my knees. My body couldn’t hold itself upright as the pain flashed through my body over and over again, as if the wound itself was trying to light my very soul on fire. I fell to the forest floor, grunting in pain through gritted teeth. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to will away the pain, desperately pulling as much air into my lungs as possible, wanting to taste the sweetness of life before the pain took me completely. The wound grew warmer and warmer, my skin feeling as if it was decaying around it. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain-nothing.

“Take them...please,” I heard a familiar voice in the distance, and just as quickly as the pain and panic arrived, it disappeared completely. When I opened my eyes, I gazed upon the scene in front of me. I was in the throne room on Asgard. For a moment, I wondered what was happening. Was I dead? Was I dreaming? I gazed out at the scene before me. Odin was seated on the throne, younger than he was when I knew him, but still beyond his prime. Frigga stood beside his throne, graceful as always. My father-Aaldir-stood on the other side of Odin as one of the Allfather’s most trusted advisors. Father looked much younger without a single grey hair upon his head. Before them stood a woman with her back turned to me. Black hair fell in wild waves across her back, and I sensed a familiarity in her even though I couldn’t see her face. It felt as if I knew her, like I could feel her very presence in my soul even in the vision. She sniffled, and my mind twisted as I remembered the dream I had, running through the the field.

“Why should I do anything you ask of me?” Odin barked out, using his one good eye to glare at the woman before him. I watched as Frigga winced at the harshness in his tone-something she often did when I confronted him about Loki.

The mystery woman’s body shook, and I sensed her fear, “I have nowhere else to take them. You are my last hope,” she cried, and I felt my heart twisting in pain for the poor woman. A soft cry confirmed what I had been thinking, what I hoped had not been true. A child. She was asking for him to take in her children, and I had a feeling I knew who it was, but I was too terrified to even say her name. She was the mistress of the night, the collector of life, the absence of light. I didn’t know why I was having these visions or if they were anything for me to think about further.

“Do you know what you’re asking of me?” Odin hissed, causing my body to seize. While I knew this was only in my mind, it was becoming harder and harder every moment not to lose myself. I stood up from the ground and walked toward the throne. My footsteps were so soft against the hard floor, they made no sound in the throne room.

“To help two defenseless children,” the woman answered, strength in her soft voice. Every word she spoke made a wave of serenity wash over me. I was not afraid, nor did I tremble like I usually did when Thor would tell me the tales about the mysterious entity, “do not think I’m asking this favor for myself; I am asking this for their sake. They will only know pain and suffering should they stay with me-they will only know fear.”

Odin stood from his throne but didn’t step down the stairs to be on level ground with her. I frowned as he spoke, “you come to Asgard, burden my throne room with your filth, and ask me to take the children of a demon like you. You ask me to humiliate my home and my people, to tarnish my name-”

She cut him off, her voice just as powerful as before. She was not a weak-willed woman, and I could tell that just from hearing her speak. Looking at it from the outside, it reminded me of how I spoke to Odin a few times in the past, especially when he refused to show Loki any mercy. While I felt her heart filling with sorrow and a diminishing hope, she didn’t falter as she fought on behalf of the children in her arms, “I ask you to protect children who belong here. A child is not responsible for the mistakes of their parent. They should not be held accountable for either of our decisions,” she explained as I continued to close the space between us, desperately wanting to see her face to confirm her identity.

Odin grumbled, his beard failing to conceal his frown of disdain. As he turned his back on the woman and sat back down on the golden throne, he let out a deep breath, “if you are so eager to pass them off into my care, you should know that I will treat them with little dignity. The offspring of Death and a serpent could never be trusted, let alone welcomed, in my home,” he hissed, his voice low and powerful. My eyes widened as he confirmed her identity. I heard the familiar sharpness in his tone, but he had no problem cutting her down-a mother only wishing to save her children, “leave them there on the floor, and I will have my guards take them to the dungeons where they will spend the rest of their lives.”

Just as Death began crying once more, burying her face into the cloth that swaddled her infant children, Frigga stepped forward, glaring at her husband, “you will do no such thing!” she admonished him, her voice piercing through the room as she stepped down to the floor Death stood upon, drawing nearer and nearer to to heartbroken intruder. Odin could do nothing but sit in a stunned silence as Frigga showed mercy to the same woman he had just been so cruel to, “bring them to me,” Frigga instructed her in a calm voice.

Death obeyed the commands of the queen, walking slowly over to her, and I waited with baited breath as she whispered words of love into the ear of the first child before placing him or her gently into the open arms of Frigga, the woman I would come to know as my mother. She was the closest I had to one growing up, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. The first child was indistinguishable, beautiful but strong with piercing green eyes like the colors of spring all in one. Then, Death held up the second child, a girl with eyes more brilliant than emeralds, a green that matched the colors of spring. Her eyes were without imperfections. No other colors dared to taint the purity of that green. It was the same baby from the first vision I had of Death, but that time, I had the cold feeling I knew who it was.

My heart pounded in my chest as the entity of Death raised the child to her face, nuzzling her cheek against the smooth skin of the baby. I heard sniffles coming from Death, a woman I always believed was too cold to feel any emotion at all. She was the keeper of the dead, the bringer of the end-everything I was against. While I understood that death was a part of life, that all things would someday be reborn, she represented the absence of life itself. However, in that moment, seeing her cradling the small child so lovingly, I realized that I had been wrong, that every living being was capable of some form of emotion. Her cries broke my heart, as did it break the heart of the child in her arms, and I watched as the baby cried,

“Goodbye, Eva,” Death whispered, and my breaking heart stopped. My breath hitched in my throat as my greatest fear was just confirmed. It hadn’t been my own delusion that caused me to see the reflection of the child’s eyes in my own, the color mirroring that of mine. It wasn’t my mind playing cruel tricks on me when the heart of the child broke the same way mine did. Was it real, though? Was the vision just a part of the madness that arose due to the wound that left me feverish and disoriented? Was she...where I belonged? I couldn’t bring myself to think of such a thing. I valued life above all else, so it was impossible for Death to be...mine. She spoke again before my mind could fall further into the delirium, “I love you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever given. Loving you was my greatest weakness, and leaving you is my greatest failure,” she whispered, her voice low and soothing as she rubbed the back of the small child.

“Leaving her here to protect her is the best thing you can do as a mother. Go. I will see to it that your children are cared for,” Frigga promised as she took the infant into her arms, cradling both of them the same way Death had been. Aaldir stepped down from the side of the throne and took the little girl...me. He cradled her close and closed the space between himself and the cosmic entity each one of us would meet at some point. Reaching out to her, he caressed her cheek, and just as he always did with me, he wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb.

As I drew closer to her, standing directly behind her, I wished to wrap her in my arms. Even if this was all a hallucination with no meaning, her pain threatened to tear my very soul apart. As I felt the tears rising to my eyes, her soft voice began singing that familiar melody, the one I could remember all throughout my childhood but didn’t know where it came from, “I wish to stop time and stare at the stars, for just one more moment with you. Now stars shine brightest wherever you are, and they will shine on me no more,” she sang before turning around. Black eyes met mine, and black tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Her hand came up to caress my cheek, cold fingers wiping away the tears from my eyes. Just as I leaned into her touch, desperate for that connection, I found myself back in the woods.

Alone again.

[hani-standi-blog]

💙The Death of the Former Heroine💙

💐To make up for me being dead...Here comes the death of Joana Jett! This isn't canon..for now really.

(TW:Blood and..I wanna say gore even though there are no images and Death.)

Just what the woman needed, the fact that some old hag has stolen the California Drea. ability from her when she's like this. A smirk widening on the masked stranger's face " Well just look at this, Getting slow in your old age Joana?" she taunted, looking at her arms and chuckling wide "So this ability? allows me to hit with as much force as i want? As if my leg or whatever i throw has the weight of..Lets say the heaviest man on the planet? Oh but it wont be heavy to me will it? only to the sad..sad soul that gets effected by it~ Am i right?" She questioned, red soled shoes tapping with each step closer to the, just as quickly shuffling back, American. Gripping her leg, in an attempt to stop anymore blood from running down, she was loosing more and more blood by the second..Why was this woman so hard to fight?! Her stand is just a damn mask..Oh wait *it's ability*. That's how she beat Jordan. About to speak, all that left Joana's tired throat was a shriek in pain, feeling and hearing the squishing of the heel deep in one of her wounds, being grinded in deeper "Come on!! Come on Answer me!' Marilynn cackled loudly, constantly applying pressure to the leg. *God it hurt like a bitch..but Joana wasn't backing down, this woman decided to take on **Her** family, **Her** daughter, what was Joana expected to do? Sit back and watch her tearing down the village all so she can be the queen she once was and more? **Fuck no!**. With a grunt, the well known stand apeared, with the loud shout to **SHORA**, knocked the villain back, allowing the cheetleader to regain her posture "Well yes, But you will die before you get to use it" Joana said with a confident smirk, only tensing when pressure was applied to the now spurting blood leg, but that wasn't holding her back, if a mad man holding her guts out as she fought couldn't hold her back..neither would this. There was an uncomfertable silence when Marilynn stood, staring through her white pupiled mask as a loud, high pitched cackle rose from her throat "Finally!! This can get interesting~" the older woman said as a smirk rose onto the rosey red lips, both staring each other down. Joana was the firdt to throw a punch, not with her stand, afraid anymore of it's abilities would be taken away. A sharp hook to the temple knocked the woman back, causing a grunt to rise up "Brat.." left her lips before raising up the heels, once flat flooted heels were now sharp and resdy to pierce any unprotected tanned skin, luckily for our past heroine, she was prepared, allowing herself to slip to the side and see the heel stab into a innocent beetle, watching the body spurt from pressure with a grimance on her face "Oh you horrid little.." Marilynn gagged in disgust, lifting her foot and watching the many insides raising and stretching onto the bottom of the shoe "Do you know how much these things cost?" She squealed "With your pension? Im not guessing alot?" The woman replied with a chuckle, throwing a kick into her chest to knock her back "Come on, you old bitch! You wanted a fight lets go!" Joana challenged, standing and taunting, as if saying 'I'm open, come hit me for a prize". This just pissed off the already flaming decrowned beauty queen, if Joana was not blinded by her own ego, she would have noticed the heel coming towards her, a sharp exhale came from her however when it pierced her stomach, twitching she gripped the shoe, looking between the woman now coming at her and the sharp material embedded against her skin Just as the blood followed the heel in a sharp pull, fists connected with her aswell, giving her a few to the nose and cheeks, dazing the Jojo a little but it never made her back down, quickly pulling herself together, the two were brawling. Thowing punch after punch, kick after kick and heel kick after hair flick. The only thing that stopped them both was their stamina and a double front kick. As both of the woman threw up their heels and connected their soles together, using both of the pressure they were sent flying back. As they stood panting, the warm sun beating down added to the bullets of sweat emitting off them, slowly..*very slowly* they stalked towards each other but before Marilynn could make it any further, she collapse to her knees, pantjng heavily and struggling to walk and seeing this just gave the cheerleader a RUSH of enegery "See! I told ya un..You really were stupid to think about attacking my family~ Now to get back California Dream" She whispered, with her second wind, Joana brought it up to a run, bringing out Bad Reputation to end this quickly and effectivly..But something was wrong, Marilynn's arms were outstretched, *just like Joana's were when asking for a free hit* but the American wasn't backing down..This was for Jordan. As she edged closer and added in harsh and hard bursts of punches, Joana was living the dream, able to bring down a threat once again but this was strange..she was taking everything on and it wasnt until too late Joana noticed what she was doing, with a swift kick, Marilynn used the ability she stole, it felt as if a full speed train had just rammed right into the gut of the heroine. Grunting followed along with many pained noises when she shot back, only finding an end when her body connected to a loose pipe, piercing right from her back to the front. Joana's hands twitched, watching the blood spurt and drip down from her wound and lips, wide eyes focused on the figure of the woman "Well Joana, it seems you did get your ability back~ too bad i wasn't the one to die for it" Marilynn said with a sadistic tone, raising her finger to push againdt the slowly cooling, plush lips of the female "Don't worry though, I'll remind Jordan how much her mother pathetically cried as she bled out..How about i make it easier hmm?" She asked, raising her foot and with one swift kick, pushed her deep down, still keeping her alive in the process..somehow. Joana twitched once again "Y-Y-You won't beat her..Sh..she will ruin..y..you..YOU FREAK!" She yelled out, attempting to get on last hit in with her stand, just to have it dodged..The beauty queen walked over and placed a kiss onto her forehead, leaving the bright cherry lips on her..Marking her prey "Ta Ta Darling~ You were a wonderful competator~" Marilynn cooed, swaying her hips as she left. All it was..was hazy for the dying girl, slowly reaching on the pole to pull herself up, but it was just resulting in more pain, slowly she was giving up, tears bubbling out of her eyes "J-Jordan..I know..you are out..doing so-Something better..N-Not thinking of me..b-but..I love you..y-y-you are strong..Strong willed and physically strong..Y.y.You can beat this world..Get back at tho..tb...those who hold you back...." She was struggling to speak, just getting garglier and garglier with the blood rising in her throat, with a cough she let it out, hand untying the bow on her head, letting the clackers hit tigether as she rested..Well the best you can rest with a pole killing you. A smile formed on her lips, cracking any dried blood "Good..Luck..Jojo"..Her final words as her heart slowly came to a stop, the blood no longer pumping out the wounds..She was finally at rest, no more pain, no more hurt..She could watch over her daughter now..And know she will be safe. Joana Jett..No. Joana Joestar was now deceased.

[breakingmllc]

Nope Still Not Having Kid My Dachshund Is Allergic S T Shirt

Happy 84th birthday to my main idol my grandma mj my grandma is the strongest person I know I saw her be the provider of her family and run her own clothing store my whole life she s battled cancer and beat it twice and she always gives me the realest best advice she s probably the only person on this planet that I still remember their home number by heart lol my grandma has a Hot I don’t have kids my cat is allergic shirt sweater finsta so everyone leave nice comments wishing her a happy birthday. Gj guys but be careful vitality just gave insight about how to shutdown your top and mid lane although they didn’t execute it properly their strategy is just too good to counter your playstyle and other teams will take advantage from it. So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn

Source: Nope Still Not Having Kid My Dachshund Is Allergic S T Shirt

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[yeahiwasintheshit]

star wars the last jedi spoilers review

star wars the last jedi spoilers review

spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers

so they fucking killed off luke. the fuckers did it and im pissed the fuck off. like blindingly angry and that really over shadows any review of the movie, because there is no review without being outraged at lukes stupid death. it is such bullshit. i dont buy the whole bullshit line, this jagoff rian johnson is giving that they are making way for the new characters to flourish blah blah blah. why do they need to kill off these beloved characters just to spotlight the new ones? you can have both. it makes no sense. they can have them all in the movies. i mean they didnt even have luke in the first movie! like at all, he wasnt dead. and also they didnt have to kill him off in such a stupid fucking way either. (ill get to that)

mark hamill warned us, when he said he ‘fundamentally disagreed with every decision they made about luke’. like i would have been fine with whatever decision they wanted to make esp a story that went against expectation. thats actually encouraged. i didnt like epi 7 because it was so similar to epi 4. and in a way this new movie is a new story. but in lukes story, they did do something new and different and unexpected but went against everything that is core to his character. clearly, everyone thought, at least after tfa, that hed willingly train rey, yada yada. and they broke convention, and luke didnt really do that willingly. he was a grizzled old shell of a man. drinkin monster titty milk and fishing im fine with that part of it. he wanted nothing to do with the jedi or the force after kylo destroyed the temple, and that does make sense. ok fine. what really irritates me is that they didnt stay true to lukes character. in rotj, he was willing to give his life to save his father from the dark side. a man he didnt know his whole life... that he just met. luke actually volunteered to meet the devil himself to bargain for his fathers soul. and against all odds he won! and now this new story is going to try and tell me that a man like luke, with his background and history is willing to kill his nephew, (even for a split second) who hes known from birth, and is his twin sisters child, and basically became a surrogate father to. its not only bullshit, but such a rewriting of the fundamentals of his character. and it just doesnt work. it doesnt make sense. and is an assassination of his character. ugh. so unforgivable. but ok. even if that reason why was good (which is wasnt) why the fuck did they kill him off? why didnt they at least give him a redemption he would deserve for making or attempting to make a choice like that. one answer. character assassination. this prick johnson is destroying a beloved icon in cinema without even second thought. its shit.

and then to kill him off so stupidly. like i didnt have a problem with the force projection thing. i thought that was pretty cool. the whole old west showdown between luke and kylo in front of the walkers was good. him emerging from the cloud of red dust was great. sweeping off the dust from his shoulder was cool. all of that was great. fits with the character. but what was the purpose of it? a distraction!?!?!? all luke is, is a distraction now? 30 years of build up to see what happens with this legendary hero, a movie icon for over 40 years like luke skywalker and his last act is to just distract. what the fuck kind of shit is that!! its such a betrayal of luke’s story arc. and now carrie fisher is dead. so whats gonna happen? theres not going to be any live characters from the original trilogy in #9. they could have easily NOT killed him or at least left a cliffhanger on whether or not he died. but thats it. hes gone. presumably hes a force ghost now? ok. why even kill him then if youre bringin him back as a ghost? the inconsistency of lukes arc and last act just felt like it was this dickhead director/writer who just wanted to make a splash by doing something bold. and its just so transparent that thats what it was because he had a whole year after carries death to just not kill him. but rian johnson decided to do it anyway. not because it was good for the character, but cause it was good for himself. bullshit.

and then just stupid plot holes in that last act. if lukes only goal in the movies last act was to be a distraction (which is unforgivable) how would luke even know there was an exit that the crystal critters would shepherd the remaining rebels thru. there literally is no exit. rey had to make one by removing boulders. i mean, does having the force gives you some kind of geologic mapping vision? lol. ugh. i know im nitpicking, i get it, but it kind of fundamentally doesnt even make sense in the logic of the movie itself. so if he doesnt know that then it doesnt make sense that luke would know that his distraction would buy the rest of the rebels time to escape, so why is he there then?!?!? the whole thing falls apart quick. and then they kill him off?!? what? why? like even if i were to accept lukes death in any of the movies, which i wouldnt (but i get that thats my problem). but even if i did. why wouldnt he go out in some kind of redeeming heroic way? why didnt he actually come to the planet and actually fight and die there. i thought they showed us his xwing cause he was gonna show up on the planet and take out a few walkers with him. he could have done some amazing force shit and killed off most if not all of them, and then died in a blaze of glory wounding kylo and the first order as kylo fled. and then luke could have died of exhaustion or whatever the fuck. at least that would have been true to his character, and would have redeemed his momentary urge to kill kylo (which i think is bullshit anyway). its like in the mind of this shit writer/director the urge to do something unexpected trumps doing something that is cinematic and character building and redeeming. fuck you rian johnson.

anyway, after they killed off han in epi 7, there was this sense that they were just going to kill one of the main 3 in each of the movies, and that pissed me off, i was not ok with that because theres literally no reason for it. but they seem stuck on this fuckin point that they need to bring these new characters in and sweep the old ones out. it was like on e of the talking point in all the interviews. but i dont get why the fuck you would want to do that. ok han sure, cause basically harrison ford said im out. i dont want to do anymore. kill him off. fine. but mark seems happy to do all of them. carrie, before her death seemed happy to do them all too. if the idea was to kill luke off in 8 and leia in 9. then after carries death why not just flip them. kill off carrie in 8 somehow. and let luke come back in 9 and let him redeem himself. so irritated.

anyway, its hard to move past lukes death. but besides that there were just a bunch of other problems with the movie.

too much stupid humor that didnt land

superman space leia

the whole casino world storyline really put the brakes on the pace of the movie

didnt care about rose and finn at all. just a distraction from the pace of the plot.

superman space leia

the whole rebels are oj’s white bronco slow speed chase down the 405 thing

the bitch death of phasma

the whole benicio del toro character was trying so hard but just didnt matter at all

justin theroux in like 5 secs of the movie?

superman space leia

the bash you over the head, way too on the nose preachy social issues like slavery and animal abuse and the upper class. like ok fine. but it just felt so forced into the story, and out of place. like this is a movie about the rebels escaping imminent destruction and we are now staring at this creepy horse thing with a human face abomination. it just didnt work in the movie.

kylo and rey love story? what? did i read into that or is that really there?

they killed off admiral ackbar so terribly and in such a disrespectful way

evil bb8? big fuckin eye roll. he has to have a fucking enemy? give me a break.

bb8 saving the day one too many times. i mean talk about a fuckin mary sue 

they broke anakins light saber!!! (more a disappointment)

superman space leia

superman space leia

superman space leia

superman space leia

but ok ok ok ...tbh, if they didnt kill of luke, i would have thought it was better than the force awakens. there were plenty parts of this movie i did like

mark fuckin hamill. so great in this

snokes death. yes it was jarring and didnt make sense that someone with his powers didnt know what kylo was going to do, but i liked that they just got rid of him like that. fuck this guy. i would have liked a little more back story on him, but fuck him. i was surprised and shocked in a good way

holdos death and sacrifice. awesome idea. executed really well! tho, just by introducing that idea, it does sort of discredit the other movies. like if all you need to do is jump thru light speed into something to destroy it, the death star isnt so scary anymore. wtf rebels of ep 4-6 why didnt you just do that.

poe. everything about his character was awesome. loved his mistakes and his arc. loved his interactions with leia and holdo. everything was great about him

yoda was awesome. his apparently new force ghost abilities were cool. sort of on the fence about them using the muppet yoda. i had no problem with digital yoda from the prequels. this is fine too. doesnt really matter to me.

reys parents were drunken junkers. if that true, and kylo isnt trying to fool her then thats great! not everything needs to connect back to her

rey and kylo fighting the guards. awesome action. looked amazing. i bought it all. even if its still iffy that rey can take on all these guards after so little training. i still bought it in the moment. im fine with it.

luke emerging from the red dust cloud was great! (i didnt notice his just for men beard, i bought the whole thing hook line and sinker)

luke and leias embrace

leia shooting poe

the look of the red dust planet was really cool

i thought they were going to overdo the porgs, and yes there were in a few scene more than i wanted, but really not as bad as i expected.

the jedi kid at the end. proof that there are other force users. which we all knew, but good to see they didnt just throw that bit of info away

there was some good moments. i would have been fine with the whole plot. the rebels (now they are calling themselves rebels again which is weird) escaping the first order was fine, adequate. the main problem like i first said is killing luke, but moreso just the bad moments overtook the good ones. i do plan on seeing it again just to see if it sits better a second time, but that my first impressions.

anway, these opinions are subject to change based on what happens in 9. i mean there is a possibility that they can fix the bad decisions rian johnson made. but since its jj abrams i doubt it.

[harlockauxillia30k-blog]

First Blood [part I]

The Centauri Rifles sat about spread across a wide area. They arranged themselves amongst a minor city in a star pattern. Ever since first news of Horus’ betrayal dissented amongst the ranks, the regiment had been dropped off at a minor agricultural world in Vega’s Wake, wherever that was. As far as guard posts went, it was comfortable and calm, being within Imperial lines and already quite pacified. Its only strategic relevance was an armory of Legion equipment that was stored underneath the city of Trivium, the appointed capitol of the planet, which in reality was a depot for new equipment outbound from mars to be held in, arranged neatly by legion so that logistics ships could land, take whatever was needed and redeploy. In a decade, this function to some other galactic mote elsewhere and this world would fade into total galactic irrelevance.

Imperial forces couldnt have asked for a better place to sit out the heresy in happy ignorance, sheepishly giving seminars on imperial loyalty and ‘drilling’ occasionally in open fields, simulating prisoner-taking scenarios, how to correctly request traitor forces surrender, and the merits of a progressive propaganda campaign on hostile troops. It was believed that hostile astartes elements would be so minimal and exhausted that surely only errant rogue imperial army forces would seriously remain after a few weeks of all out combat, and it had already been entire days since the announcement. Several commanders, including Palanquin, grew increasingly confident of imperial victories, the only worrying thing being a near complete blackout on any relevant information from terra or her core worlds on the matter, and no verbal statement on the matter by the emperor. But, most were convinced this was due to the trepidations of warp travel and information lag. The betrayal was so fresh after all- the traitors themselves likely spent months trying to orchestrate and plan their machinations, likely being shocked by a strong imperial response... somewhere. All of this was wild conjecture; All that was known was that someone in a higher command position wanted this world defended, and deployed the star rifles to do so.

Harlock knew there would be battle in this mighty war to come. He had been at Ullanor and survived the affair, and thus knew something of the warmaster’s martial skill. But where would it take place? In the segmentum obscurus, as it was being called? Or pacificus? Solar, surely, was safe from any harm. Wherever it would be fought it would be devastating, that was sure. Harlock hoped it wasnt going anywhere near his own segmentum in Obscurus; he had been redeployed from segmentum to segmentum only a small handful of times and always it was a long, arduous trip which could take entire years if unlucky, or longer if rumors were to be believed.

Captain Harlock surveyed the horizon, ignoring the gentle sway of crop fields and the laughter of his comrades. His soul was held by fear. Even if the traitors did not come to obscurus... he still had his doubts.

Putting away the magnoculars, the captain glanced at some commotion coming from a regimental command tent. Palanquin was there, with his staff officers.

“What do you mean, theres something happening in Orbit? Is it a battle- yes or no? You don’t know?! What did you expect to hear from us then? Vox the defense fleet!”

Harlock frowned. He walked over to the tent.

“Colonel, should I alert-”

Harlock couldnt finish the sentence, because behind him, an unseen nuclear payload was dropped upon the city of Trivium, and the blast emanating from it washed over the Imperials position.

Supplies, men, and tents were thrown about and destroyed, vehicles were overturned. Those who stared upon the blast or were wholly exposed to the immediate effects were burned, and their eyes turned into horrifying wattery ooze that drained out of their sockets as they screamed and stumbled about. Yet Harlock’s men were spared the fireball of the atomic, and thus remained alive.

Harlock pushed himself up, feeling like he was on a different planet. He had been in a theatre involving atomic weapons twice, and whenever renegades relied on those weapons for long, the non imperials often were butchered to a man. What on earth hit them. Did it have to do with the unknown orbital situation?

He stumbled over to his own company, leaving Palanquin and his staff to make sense of their own position. His men would need leadership now. However, he soon discovered that his own unit, although in a disarray, held together well enough. Glancing in the sky, Harlock watched pieces of Imperial vessels tumble to the earth in glowing red-orange meteors.

The captain blinked and glanced toward the mushroom cloud above the crater that was Trivium.

“Why...” was all he could muster, thinking of all the people who had lived there.

The weary captain rallied his men. Now was not the time to sit in cheap fortifications and ignore the situation. All the vox links were down, but if they survived maybe other citizens did. They would need imperial help. Harlock considered splitting the company into squad or platoon sized elements, but thought better of it. Most troops were shaken. A few smarter ones were talking about fallout and radioactivity. Harlock knew that RAD gear was insufficient- not enough full body suits for this deployment. He issued out the gasmasks to try and prevent fallout material from contaminating eyes and lungs, and tried to ignore the aftereffects of this day- at least for now.

Into the dusty atmosphere, the company marched toward Trivium, searching for survivors. They walked into a land of fire and death.

[End of part I]

[caddy-crystal-queen]

Introducing my new star wars original species (os): the Draconians

I’ve been wanting to post about these guys for a while, particularly their history through their rulers. I really wish to do an rp with these guys on here if anyones interested. So…here are some top ten basic facts about them. I do plan to get specific later, as i am currently writing a little book of sorts about their rulers. Now this is DEFINITELY NOT CANON. This is a species i purely made up and thought itd be awesome to share. So with that being said…

#10: the species name and home planet

The name draconian actually comes from the now destroyed homeworld of the draconis species, referred to as Old Draconia. The planet was “doomed” by a pair of powerful sith lords who used ancient sith sorcery to create a disease that ultimately killed the planet and everyone on it. Old Draconia is now pretty much just a land of ashes, ruins, and mist. Think of it almost as the silent hill of the star wars universe.

#9. Their Beliefs

Most of the Draconian religious and historical texts were lost to the doom, but its highly believed that the Draconians worshipped seven goddesses who resided in the constellation Draco. One of their myths stated that the dragons are actually children of the stars and its from the stars its where they got their fire. Each goddess was once a queen or other important political or social figure, each one representing a different element in nature.

#8. Their powers and Force Sensitivity

There was technically eight types of dragons. Six “common” dragons and two “rare” types. The six were able to control the elements (water, fire, earth, wind, light, and darkness), while the two rare dragons were called Celestials and Aethers. It was said the source of this “magic” was actually stemmed from Force sensitivity. Some draconians, mostly the Aether dragons, were able to “hide” themselves within the Force itself becoming invisible to almost all except for Force sensitives. Celestials could control all elements in nature except for Dark Matter, which was controlled by Aether dragons. But Dark Matter control was seen as dangerous and blasphemous to the seven goddesses so Aether dragons (then called Nether Dragons) were hunted to near extinction. They didnt see the Force as a weapon, like most did. But rather as a living protective deity which called the All Mother or The One Beyond the Seven Stars.

#7. Their government and society

The Draconians had a matriarchal society and were usually ruled by a queen. They did have a few kings here and there but two of them were the first dragon rulers, two others were absolutely cruel, and another was only given the title on the insistence of a queen. The queen was a descendant of the Conqueror, a young fire dragon who united the draconian species from their primitive tribal ways into a single kingdom. Women and girls were seen as more valuable after one queen, named Rhea, challenged her Nest Brother for the draconian throne and won by actually killing him. She declared a weak male would never again rule draconia, but they still had two very oppressive kings. The queen was entirely expected to have mostly daughters to succeed her. The title didnt however always go to the oldest. Sometimes it was determined by a fight between the Nest Sisters from the queens first clutch. If a queen dies without any daughters then one of her sisters would be next in line, followed by nieces, cousins, etc. As for the queens sons, well, they became mostly scholars, healers, soldiers and the like. The queens oldest son would become the captain of his sisters Queen’s Guard until she started to choose guards for herself. After that, he may become her advisor or take up any place in society he may want.

#6. The Queen’s Guard

The name is pretty self explanatory, the queens guard protected the queen. But in early days of the guard, it was also the queens harem in a sense. When she came of age, the queen was technically allowed to take whoever she wanted to her bed as long as it was consensual on both ends (rape was seen as a taboo). Most queens didnt actually get married after queen Rhea, but they did play Favorites. These Favorites were usually the Captains after her brother stepped down, and was often granted certain priviledges and favors/positions for his family. With that said, many families with strong sons or attractive sons pushed them to try to win the queens favor, as he is also more likely to conceive with the queen and therefore be the father of the next queen. However it wasnt just men on the guard, there were a few queens that actually favored women, as all draconians were actually taught to fight. But a queen always needs an heir so there always had to at least be one man on the Queens Guard.

#5. Rashkas and Dovas (Draycon)

“Rashka” and “Draycon” mean Rider and Dragon respectively. They were titles given to individuals who were bound together for life by a mental link. The Rashkas protected the common folk of Draconia, and mostly consisted of humans riding dragons. These humans were given powers and magic from their mounts who shared their lifeforce (called Dova in Old Draconia) with them. As long as the Draycon lived, so did the Rashka, and vise versa. That being said, early Rashka were nearly immortal as draconians usually lived for a very long time. A Rashka can usually have only one Draycon throughout their life time and again it works the other way around. However this mental link can be severed under extreme stress or just before death so the other can keep living. However their life after that was said to be terribly unhappy. Any dragon can be Draycon, and any person can be a Rashka. No one truly knows who or what determines how or why theyre chosen for each other. Queens however arent typically Draycon, with the exception of one who was the very first. Up until closer to modern day, it was believed only humans could be Rashka, but the first alien Rashka was a Duros who found and later hatched a Dark dragon egg…

#4. Tosca, the Mad Queen

The worst female ruler in draconian history was none other than Tosca the Mad. Born from the greatest ruler in draconian history, her reign was a complete contrast to her legendary mother’s, but it didnt start out that way. Tosca the First was obsessed with keeping her power and prestige, and would go to any lengths to keep it. It’s believed that her uncle, Malakai, cursed one of his sisters eggs before she killed him, making it so Tosca was influenced by him her whole life. She had her sisters husband locked away and later executed on false charges of treason and banished her sister, Nythia, to a distant world where she was to live in isolation for the rest of her days. Despite her paranoia, Tosca the Mad did manage to have one child survive to adulthood, though this child, a daughter named Harmonia, barely escaped with the help of smugglers. Tosca the Mad ruled for fifty years before her madness completely took over and therefore had to be killed. Harmonia succeeded her. She was the only mad queen in draconias history.

#3. Creed, the Draycon Queen

Ask any modern draconian who the greatest ruler in draconian history was and theyll tell you it was none other than Creed. She was the first Draycon ever, and the only to ever be queen. She ruled during the time of the old republic. Born to queen Sarella, creed and her nestmates (still in eggs at the time) were sent off of draconia to other worlds under a powerful enchantment, only draconian fire could hatch them, with the exception of her and her twin brother, named Malakai, who also had a rashka. Creed however lost her rashka when he was captured by the jedi, but not killed, thus keeping her alive but the jedi severed the link between the two. It left the princess absolutely miserable and she escaped coruscant to a distant deserted world, laying low a few years to learn to control all the elements in nature. Creed was the first queen since Queen Nymeria to learn such a thing. With her new found powers, Creed took back Draconias throne from her brother, who she later imprisoned and later executed. Her reign was draconias golden age.

#2. The Nether Purge

Of all the dragon types there are, nether dragons are the most misunderstood. With the power to control dark matter, the very fabric of the universe, these rarest of dragons were the most powerful in existence. So how did they die out? Well the answer isnt really known but its speculated that there werent all that many to begin with and the few that were killed or captured hadnt realized their full potential yet. But it wasnt just their power people feared, it was also the manner in which their mates were picked. As hatchlings, the Aether dragons removed a fragment of their own hearts and crystallized it. When in the presence of their soulmate the crystal glows. The thing that scared most other dragons was that this tended to happen around mostly hatchlings or very young dragons. Fearing for the future, and believing only celestials should come close to the seven goddesses, the Nether dragons were hunted, killed, or taken to a distant world where they couldnt do harm.

#1. The doom of old Draconia

The Doom of old Draconia was a catastrophic event for the dragons. Two sith lords came to queen Serren, the last queen, demanding to know the secret to draconian long life. The queen of course refused to tell them, claiming she didnt know. But this was only a partial truth. Ancient draconians once used a powerful dark magic to transfer their souls to new bodies but Creed banned the practice and had all knowledge of it erased. As for their naturally long lives (they can live up to about two and a half centuries supposedly) serren honestly didnt know. It was the secret of the Soul Release spell that the sith were after and serren, as the queen, was supposed to guard the secret with her life. The draconians’ magic was cut off leaving them defenseless from the onslaught of drought, famine, and disease that eventually overrode the planet. The queen was however able to escape with a single egg. But no one knows where she is…

And i hope you guys enjoyed reading that! I plan to write more about the rulers of draconia. If you got questions please feel free to ask, anonymous or not. I look forward to sharing more if you guys are interested ^^

[redandpointy]

wish fic: Kalec goes for a drink with khadgar and severely underestimates just how strong dalaran wine is and gets completely hammered. Jaina comes back from wherever to find Kalec professing his undying love for Khadgar (cuz he's a sappy drunk, lbr)

oh geez. Dramatically the room would fall silent except for drunk dragon. I think Jaina would just stop and it would *hurt*.  but then she’s brought this on herself hasn’t she? As much as her anger is outward there is far, far more facing inward. She tried peace. everyone rejected it. she tried war and suddenly everyone wanted peace. Her father died over it. Her brother. Her entire city. She tried to work things out in Dalaran and was betrayed again. She left while the world was in peril and wasnt that just a fucking brilliant choice, Jaina? She’s come back to try to help..and shes been replaced.

She wasn’t good enough, she wasn’t magical enough, she wasn’t strong enough. she was discarded, dismissed, unheard, because somehow she wasn’t worthy - Khagdar’s fucked off to  Light knows where in the Outland for years and he’s a fucking hero, no questions asked, and everyone listens.

She returns to make amends, to at least try to save the planet because fucking what? There is a rift in the damn sky and that’s the broken shell of Light-forgotten Argus... and she’s been replaced. Utterly. In position... and affection. By the one who gave her hope she could live, by the one who stopped her from killing everyone in Orgrimmar. With the special chosen mage everyone loves without reservation, who has never done wrong even if his methods or actions might have been questionable and he abandoned the world for years... and it kills her because he was right, because the legion is vast and terrible and every hand is needed.

Except, perhaps, hers.

Every choice she has made has turned out to be the wrong one, hasn’t it? It shouldn’t hurt, she should be stronger, she’s used to this dismissal (and it is hurt own fault isn’t it?). but it hurts savagely.

There is no place for her in the world.

Is is a dark thought. She has had it before. It has happened more often as of late. but now it gains traction. it sticks. And something inside her breaks.

And Jaina would turn from the scene of live and love going on before her, because she is unwelcome and uneeded. And she would go to the violet hold and retrieve the Focusing Iris because there is some savage satisfaction in using *that* particular artifact. It isnt like the wards are very hard to bypass either? And she’d just start taking other things. Rhonin’s armwarps from the mage who found them because he was lost to her folly. A ring which resonates with the power of the Exodar itself. A kilt inscribed with runes. A necklace with protective magics. Other items. for her shoulders, her waist, her neck. The demon contained in Aluneth was tempting, but she has always been a mage of frost. in the end she simply takes Ebonchill.

Ilidan is taller than she expected. His grin is the same smug sneer on so many men of power she has had to deal with. She sneers back because she knows his type, she has his measure. Here is one of the most reviled villains of recent history and here he too has an army of followers. her body almost cannot hold this much power as the various artifacts vie for attention and power, each one resonating discordantly. The demon looks her up and down.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?” she demands.

His lips pull back in a shark’s grin. “Apparently not all as... prepared-”

“Stuff your dramatic bullshit, asshole.” Jaina turns away from the demon-infused power-mad egotist, she’s had practice, and sneers at the broken world in the sky.

She finds Velen near by. Vereesa is also there with some of the hunters. She ties to catch Jaina but the Archmage brushes her aside and interjects hserlf into the conversation he is having with the legendary Warden. How pissed must she be? Jaina wonders Idly.

The ancient dranei’s eyes widen slightly as the bow-wave of arcane energy around her hits him. Maiev’s grip on her glaive tightens.Jaina has released the Focusing Iris from it’s case and has once more shrunk it down to something a human could handle. It orbits around her head. She faced the dranei leader. He ababdoned his people to save some. He’s hailed as a hero isn’t he? She ignores the haunted look in the glowing eyes, the one she reocgnizes; they are the knowledge that this is your fault because you were not strong enough. not good enough.

“Get your people together. We’re leaving.”

“There are many-” he falls silent as her hands snaps up in an interrupting gesture.

“I’m making you a beachhead. Wasting it will be on you.”

The old Dranei’s eyes widen. “No. I will not allow-”

“You didn’t stop Archimode and Kil’jaden. What makes you think you can stop me?” The words are intended to would and she sees the pain blossom as if she’s stabbed him. It doesn’t matter.

She doesnt know how much time passes as she draws on power. Around her activity has kicked up into overdrive. She sees the mages whose gear she has taken and they stand aside as she becomes a magical bonfire, an inferno that they dare not approach. She waits a little because it would be just like her to fuck this up too? So she does give some time for them to get their shit together. She pulls from the Leylines orf the world, drawing energy from Azeroth herself into the Iris, filling the artifacts she wears, shoving it into ever facet of the staff she carries.

“Where do we need to go, demon?” she asks Ilidan, the only one who she allows to approach. Even Khadgar and Kalegos are held back, shock and dismay on their faces. Anduin appears and she turns her back on him.

“Where?” she asks.

The demon lord stares at the planet then points. giving her a location.

“Make it count.”

And then she leaves.

Time and distance have no meaning for a powerful mage and Jaina is a powerful mage. The tidal wave on Orgrimmar showed her that.

she appears on Argus. Dmeons die. Pit lords die. Massive constructed nightmares which make even Fel Reavers look like children’s toys die under the onslaught of her great and terrible power.

There is no place for her on Azeroth. So she carves a beachhead on Argus, scoring the land free of life, right in front of Sargeras’ seat of power. And she begins to rip down the door. More demons come, it doesn’t matter. She rips away at the barriers before her. The Mad Titan himself comes in avatar and she slashes into him. Aegwnn did once. Why the fuck can’t she do the same? It hurts, she is beginning to lose the momentum she’d gathered as another appears, strange and twisted demonic creations. She attacks because she has nothing else to lose. She is vaguely away of otehr foces landing behind her. They don’t matter to her either.

Her choices have all been questionable and led to destruction. The dark voices in her head remind her of this with each successive demon she kills. She has reached a point beyond caring, beyond emotion, where there is only the goal before her. Her taken artifatcs begin to fail, her staff of ice burns, her limbs weigh heavy even with the focusing Iris to help her lift the weight of her own magic.

Jaina has no place on Azeroth. But neither does Sargeras.

She stabs at the heart of the Mad Titan, knowing she will perhaps only barely crack his defenses. A crack is all she wants and all she needs. He’s angry and she knows she is close to success. SO she surrenders herself to her magic utterly, weaving a single, final, blow as it burns through her own soul and begins to warp reality around her. She smiles at the perception of surprise on the titan as the armies of Azeroth follow through the holes she’s made in his protective wards.

She lets her magic go, wild, powerful and untamed by any concern for her own self, becoming the center of a small, brief sun.

In the brief moment just before creation and destruction she has one wistful moment of regret for her own choices and not resisting harder.

“I just wanted to study.”

[define--onomatopoeia]

Shady and not from a tree: So Schumacher thought that if he told Tobler to tell me how he sabotaged Matt and Ron Capps then he could assess how well I could keep a secret. Well for one I was on a roll as a tattle tale. For another, I had already written about it on multiple occasions. And foremost, it didn't involve me. It was about the safety of drivers and spectators. I had warned Tobler already, last October, that he was running out of control and I knew it was on purpose and he needed to stop He calmed down about it So Why wouldn't I write the finalized version of life? Of course, I would. Because that was my involvement, to tattle. Now when it comes to his little crap with Leah and me and him I told him several times in front of Terri Chandler, Leah herself and the FBI that I wanted NOTHING to do with Leah Prichit. I said it multiple times. I told him he was absolutely free to make his own choices but I would have absolutely nothing to do with Leah being on his team I couldn't make his decisions for him nor could I tell him he couldn't make his own decisions But over and over and over, even Dejoria knows, I said not to involve me with Leah. I want absolutely none of it. So he went ahead and decided that I would have no choice in dealing with the situation he decided to create. That's not fair. I was driving Alex to work the other day. He was using a calculator for the math, so he would give correct change because he was just overwhelmed, first new job, etc etc etc So... He wanted a different position. But I told him don't go asking for it because they may not have another. Just work your way up. Besides he had only one day and he hadn't had a chance to make tips, etc etc He should at least given it a week before complaining. So I told him, don't go telling your boss you can't do math If you want your boss to know you're having a difficult time, then throw your calculator on your tray or carry it in your hand. Since you're not allowed to have a phone at all, and have to put it in the box, he will notice and want to know what you have. So he will see it's a calculator and he will know that you need help and maybe the job isn't for you You can communicate all that to him without seeming demanding and needy but someone who is a problem solver and someone who will work hard and try to achieve perfection. I told him there's so many ways to work up. like he could tell on the cook who smokes pot before work.. so he could get the cook position and not have to do maths. But I told him instead to be quiet and work hard. It's easier and better. I told him you could throw the calculator on the tray and expect him to give you a different job because you can't do math Or you can just use the calculator and be honest about how you need additional help when you put it on the tray. He said "I just want to be honest" Don Schumacher isn't being honest about the whole Leah thing He never told me to what he wanted. Terri said he had something to say about Leah and me and his team and etc And I said I don't want anything to do with Leah what he wants to do is his Choice but I don't want anything to do with Leah. So Don sets Leah up with all kinds of public events with Matt. Nothing I can do. Matt decided to go to work. That's fine. That's his job Matt didn't arrange for the events. He was told to go to work. So Don wanted me to talk shit about Leah and then he could get the sympathy vote. While I'm talking about how John Force needs to be a better parent, Don Schumacher is the poor guy that made a mistake trusting and hiring Leah. Terri Chandler was super pissed at Don Schumacher about his choice about hiring Leah. I want to make very clear that she was completely against Leah joining DSR. She said wanted to tell on Don. But I wouldn't listen because I wanted nothing to do with it. I felt my opinion about Leah was obvious and that I didn't want anything to do with her. So why should I sit there and listen to someone disrespect my feelings by trying to push someone that I don't want on me? I yelled and carried on and Terri threatened to leave. Yet Don Schumacher decided that he wanted to do what he wanted to do. Fuck everyone else's rights. We are his slave. The entire world owes Don Schumacher their soul So last weekend I found out about his scheme. I was running thru an article, the FBI checked it and the article had no revelation or revelency about Schumacher nor Leah. But I put the article down with the knowledge of what Schumacher has done. Just a random event. So immediately he started negotiating about how to keep my mouth shut. I refused to say much about it... Except that I was pissed. And he had called me a liar and I told him I would say everything I knew about him if he ever called me that again. So he had this big ass list of shit to do for me. He also had been telling Matt to tell me shit to do or not do. And to swindle me into believing that he's Godly and awesome. Don should understand I make my own choices just as he does. #Duh And I have my own opinions just like anyone on the planet So he decides to see how trustworthy I am by having Tobler confess. I can't stand Tober. Everyone but him knows that So obviously I'm going to love tattling on him. And I did. But then Don was all no she's a liar she won't keep a secret So then again, I gave him a chance. Then immediately he wants to do nothing for me but wants Matt to swindle my mind into thinking that he's God. Sorry. There's not that much marijuana on the planet and eventually I'll wake up sober. Plus I don't smoke it. I should but I don't. It's expensive. So I got pissed off and I told about his little scheme that he was wanting to keep secret and was willing to pay me for. Now here's the point. What Schumacher wanted from me had to do with me. It was not going to hurt anyone but take alot of my patience, time and skill. All of which he doesn't have. So yeah he could pay me and I would shut up. It wouldn't hurt anyone. I wasn't letting a rapist run the streets without warning people that they were with a rapist that would drug their drinks All it was was an agreement to overlook the point that I didn't want to help him in the first place. But now I'm letting everyone know that he is absolutely manipulative and wants to be And absolutely has no regards for anyone else but his manipulation tactics. I was still pissed about what he did and wanted me to do against my will but I was willing to overlook it if there was proper apology funds. Make it worth my time to forgive him. Keeping his manipulations quiet was going to take quite a bit and I told him, about $10k would be a good start in an apology. But they decided on other things that would suffice. Some of the FBI are sympathetic with me and understand what I need to keep life smooth for me. Since Schumacher was intending to make it bumpy I figured it was alright. I never agreed to be quiet about him hurting anyone else. HE HURT ME. So it was between us. So if we had some financial incentive for forgiveness then that was between us But instead he decided to show his lack of intelligence once again and test me. I will not be tested. I will live my life how I see fit. I have no alliegence with anyone. God alone is my maker not Schumacher. I will not be tested by God or anyone. Today Schumacher was all rattled up by my tattling that he told Matt to YELL at me And he did and I told him "I don't want you to be mad at me and I don't like you yelling at me and I know I could be causing you problems with Schumacher but I'm not going to change who I am or what I'm doing." So he quit yelling because all it it's gonna do is make me not want to be around him and not talk to him and cry when I think he's not looking. And make Colby super upset. Schumacher is trying to cause us problems in our relationship because he's upset that he let Leah suck his old ass dick. And I refuse to be a manipulative part of media. And I refuse to allow safety to be an issue When Jesse was fucking with Dejoria's car, it only hurt her. No one else. It wasn't some fuck up to mess with people's heads or anything of that nature. Jesse knew I would cover it with the rape and that he would stay out of trouble and that no one would be psychologically fucked up But Tobler was purposely fucking people up and was putting Ron Capps and Matt Hagan in danger on purpose. What happened with Dejoria could be considered wrong and I admit that but it was contained And it was happening before I knew about it And I even posted in the 2016 season that Jesse couldn't fuck with her car any more. I wrote that. So whatever. I told her. I told everyone They just chose to overlook it the same as I did. After Dejoria's car blew up, Matt told Jesse not to do that anymore, I would be upset and then she won at Indy the same weekend. Delago told Jesse not to do it I told Jesse not to do it But when I was pissed at her, Jesse would tell me he could and I just didn't care. So he would. But someone was always on Jesse to stop. I just didn't write about it. It was a personal and private issue that only affected Dejoria's psychology. And I can't say it wasnt worth it and I won't. Just like for reasonable compensation I would find it worth it to keep Schumacher's manipulative tactics that don't interfere with safety quiet. Just like I did jesse. But I don't like being lied to and I don't like being tested so that I look like a liar in the end. Because I'm not. Too many people trust me to keep secrets that are harmful and to lie. Alot of people trust me and I find that a responsibility. Not an angle to manipulate. If you don't want to trust me or don't then that's on you I don't care. You can make your own choices and observations. I've always said that. Because I will prove you wrong It will just take Time but one day your eyes will open about me. If Don Schumacher spent half the time he spends on figuring out how to manipulate someone, on trying to be intelligent, he would really rock this world But instead he makes it pathetic and not worth living in.