#like there isnt one but you gotta game the system if you want your fic noticed

[lordsardine]

.

well i have no idea if anyone will even like this fic but im having fun

we're going full throttle into the different segments again too

[strwbwoo]

fuck my what?

cw : mingyu x reader x readers female bsf… , smut , glg youre both sick bc you both like it , profanity , jealousy , praising , pet names (baby, babygirl)slut shaming (your friend)… , degrading the friend.. , .6k words (my fics are always short..) like one slap on yer ass

an : the friends name isnt mentioned but uhm yea… i dunno how i got here. theres a part where the bsf seems homophobic but she jus doesnt like the reader and want her boyfriend

theres no way the love of your live kim mingyu just said he wanted to have a threesome with your bestfriend

and what a sick bitch for saying yes. coming over with a lousy lingerie set under a trench coat. giving him the eye. ofcourse youre pissed, and both can tell, “baby..” caressing your waist closing the gap while leaning into your ear, “i like your lingerie better.. your boobs.. mouth..” grabbing your hand to kiss it, holding contact, “your m’ number one baby”

all walking to the bedroom but mingyu hold your hand while she walks behind you two. mingyu lazily lays on the bed, waiting for you both to make a move and that snake takes it, getting on the bed on all fours pressing her lips on your boyfriend, fucking slut. her left crawls down to panties pressing against her clit. it makes your face red n hot but you cant tell if youre mad or horny

catching up with them, pulling down his boxers, spitting on his cock and spreading it a little before teasing him by sucking your pretty lips on only the tip. you can hear moans out of that sickening long make out. shes so sloppy. ofcourse shes glaring back probably jealous that you get to play with his dick, “mm.. can i ride you..?” only ending the kiss to seduce him, bitch. and ofcourse his eyes light up, “cmere baby” calling you over like your some puppy

right after she pulls her panties off, shes on his dick exaggerating her moans. so loud and annoying, “want you to sit onm’ face babygirl” listening to your boyfriend never doubting him in anyway despite playing into a sick fantasy. you face your ‘friend’ to keep her in check. pulling your pretty see through panties that he picked out to the side. thick tension in the air and only builds up when you get an idea… leaning forward to lick her clit.

stablizing yerself by putting your hands on her hips, while your boyfriend tongue feels oh so good, bucking into his mouth. playing her game by moaning louder, her face in disgust to have your plump wet lips on her, pleasuring her. thats right whore. she thinks she can get away with her shit?

you jerk when mingyu adds two fingers in yer cunnie, lips still by her cunt but doing nothing but spilling moans, “fuck g- gyu” you both scream. tsk “min- mingyu too much” only you say that this time, “g’na cum..” but no response, still stuffing his face with cunt, big hands keeping you still despite your squirming.

vision going white, “fuck gyu! cumming” when he slaps your cute ass, “cmon baby” he muffled into yer cunt. both too lost into it to notice she came as well “f-fuck, get off me” huh? was he talking to you. ah, the whore. lightly manhandling you to his side and the bitch of his dick and on the the end of the bed before hot cum spilling on his banging abs. using his sweat as an accessory, everything glistening

looking back at her, “m’sorry girl but you gotta go. had fun tho” youre not sorry, and she can tell by your sly smirk while drawing circles on your boyfriends chest and his hand on your waist.

she grabs her discarded garments and stumbling out of your guys’ apartment. door automatically locked with your security system. mingyu kisses your sweet spot on your neck, ready for round two with his favorite girl

“you look cute when yer jealous baby..” you get all shy.. trying to think of something to make him regret letting another girl play with his cock, “gyu.. just thought she had an std” hes stunned, “baby- i just let her fuck me n now you wanna tell me?” you smile ” yea, dont let a whore on your cock babe” you say with faux innocence.

[baxndaid]

umm soo genshin boys in a basketball game ... what would they do if they saw s/o 🤨😆

#BASKETBALLERA

characters ; CHILDE, DILUC, KAEYA, ITTO, CHONGYUN, XINGQIU, KAZUHA, ZHONGLI, ALBEDO, SCARAMOUCHE, XIAO, AYATO, THOMA, VENTI, RAZOR, BENNET, GOROU (x reader)

prompt ; genshit boys at a basketball game (oh no)

notes/warnings ; crack fic ngl, swearing, emojis, and tumblr's new writing system is so annoying and for what...

‵ actually plays

actually plays yknow... like normally (boring mf) but they come out all sweaty ARF😫

DILUC, CHILDE

♡

‵ loser who insists on sitting out with you

he just doesnt want to play🥺🥺😇 so he just sits with you in the benches and leans on your shoulder, talking smack abt the other players and how shit they are even tho he. isnt playing⁉⁉🙄 stfu

XIAO, CHONGYUN, AYATO, XINGQIU

♡

‵ just stands in the middle of the court starting at you

creepy mf...DO SOMETHING 👹⁉⁉⁉ poor guy, he doesnt know tf to do 😢😭 so he just smiles and mouths things to you as his team pushes him around the court,,(his team probably hates him for doing nothing tbh‼‼😫)

ZHONGLI, XINGQIU

♡

‵ very competitive, probably beats the shit out of people with the basketball to impress you 🙄👎

brutal. hes the type of guy TO LITERALLY NEVER PASS THE BALL🤬👹‼‼ and if anybody even goes NEAR it he shoves them onto the hard ground... (sore loser too...🤮) he probably does that cringe thing where, whenever he scores, he points at you from the audience, like.. idk who you are 😨🤣 embarrassing

CHILDE, ITTO, SCARAMOUCHE, KAEYA

♡

‵ gets hit in the head with the ball bc he was too busy waving at you

loser‼‼ if u don't win this game don't come home 🤣🤝 (serious) u too pure or whateva ☹🙄 stop waving so u dont get brain damage !!! poor bastard, u gotta kiss him better or he'll whine for the rest of the day abt his "life threatening" injuries

VENTI, BENNET, THOMA, ITTO

♡

‵ comes up with a whole strategy to show you (but they lose anyway)

mf just sitting there??? doing some algebra and drawing all the positions on a whiteboard like bro... get the ball in the hoop its SIMPLE!!!! he probably sits you down and explains his 2 hour long strategy and by the time hes finished, the game is over 😭🤝 kazuha would probably use his vision to push the ball in the hoop without anybody noticing... like u aint slick 🙄👩‍✈️

ALBEDO, KAZUHA

♡

‵ goes feral

u might need a rabies shot after this one bae 😨🤨 just goes BARK BAKR WOOF GRRR yknow... 🤨 pet him after pls, he deserves it after biting somebody who took the ball from him😇

RAZOR, GOROU

NAVIGATION ♡

[yulmoldauer]

(About the parent imagine) I'd love to read a fic where a hockey adopts a child that's not a baby or toddler but maybe a teenager and they love and play hockey too. (Bonus love if the teen gets drafted too)

hi I was gonna write something out and I still might but um im depressed so I cant rn

but! I offer: bullet points under the cut :)

oh boy okay

you didnt specify who you wanted so like!! ima choose someone myself that brings me serotonin

mr sensitive himself

oh man

yall adopt low-key and dont really tell anyone outside of close friends/family and his teammates

the kid you adopt is like 12/13 and has kinda gotten the short straw when it came to life!!

this kid was always playing like street hockey/using torn up and fallingg apart roller blades to play when you guys came around him to get things going for the adoption

he had never really kept up with the nhl and stuff because he had other (unspecified atm) life stuff going on

I think the kid (you can pick your own name for him bc I'd probably pick something kinda fuckboy-ish idk) would be kinda quiet and reserved for the first few months until he really got comfortable in the home and with you guys

“should I call you Brock and y/n or dad and (insert your preferred form of ‘parent’ here)?”

“whichever you're more comfortable with is totally okay”

once he opens up and gets going with Brock about hockey., yall better watch out

hes always begging to go to practices, morning skates, etc 

(and Brock will definitely sweet talk you about letting him go into school late on certain days with practices that are closed off to outsiders)

when hes finally *really* comfortable with yall he says that hes okay with people knowing about him/him being posted on your social media/etc

people looove him and he’s constantly on Brock’s insta stories during his games and when you guys are just hanging out

as he gets older and now has access to better equipment/has a really good support system for hockey, you guys realize hes actually very good

like, Brock isnt gonna say anything, but when he’s around 15 or 16, he thinks your kid could go into the nhl if he really wanted to

and he takes the college route to grow and get better, but does get drafted

draft day. boy. Brock is a MESS

im tellin ya. “im not sensitive” my ASS

hes so proud when your kid gets drafted and so are you obviously

like. tears. and he’s like yo obv I love the canucks but um. gotta go get one of my kids jerseys once hes playing in the league

and you're like whatever I get double the games to go to as much as possible

(and you and Brock definitely make it a point to go to as many of his games as you can)

anyway this was very long. I am soft. that's all. gn

[teddy-feathers]

look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them