#like there has to be a way to buy it without being a business right?
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PriceGaz Pining Series
Part 5/14
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Prompt: Autumn //
The leaves have changed colour. It's like the park's trees are aflame with autumn. The air is chilly as he walks to the hospital, not quite cold enough to evaporate into mist as he breathes, but enough to pinch his cheeks and the tips of his fingers.
Gaz has been in the hospital for a couple days now. Price hasn't had the time to visit him until now, sorting out the aftermath of the mission. Everything that could possibly gone wrong went wrong, and Gaz got a bullet to his guts for his trouble. It took a lot of digging to find out who exactly fucked up and where, and how to fix what they had messed up. He and Soap are about to head out again in a couple days to tie up the loose ends, Ghost still busy with his own solo mission.
Price feels... guilty. For not visiting sooner, for leaving again so soon. For letting Gaz get hurt in the first place. That this happened on his watch.
He's fixing one of those mistakes now. He lets his gaze wander to the cool autumn sky as he nears the hospital. Its deep blue calms something restless in his chest. He's been waiting to see Gaz again. See him patched up, finally erase the vision of him as he took him to med-evac; bleeding profusely and his brows pinched in pain as he tried to keep a brave face. He was shaking all over but just grit his teeth and didn't let himself cry out in pain when Price carried him to safety.
He buys flowers at the hospital's flowershop. He browses the selection helplessly for a moment, wondering what the hell he's doing. Is it even appropriate for him to bring flowers? Would it be strange? But he pushes through the embarrassment â he's just being polite. People bring flowers to patients all the time.
His eyes land on a bouquet of deep blue flowers. His mind goes to the blue autumn sky. Has Gaz been able to enjoy the view? Maybe he would appreciate the reminder of the outside world. Besides, he likes blue, right?
Without thinking about it too much, he gets the blue flowers.
He weaves his way through the hospital, asking the front desk for Gaz's whereabouts, and then saunters to Gaz's room with the flowers squeezed in his sweaty hand.
He doesn't let himself hesitate at the door. He steps in with a knock and there he is â Gaz sitting in a hospital bed. His hospital gown is blue. It almost makes Price smile.
Gaz looks up from his phone and grins.
"Captain," he greets him and something warm spills over in Price's chest.
"Gaz," he says, walking up to him, stopping at the end of his bed. "Looking better, I see."
"I didn't expect to see you," Gaz says. It stings a bit, but Price guesses he deserves it.
"What kind of captain would I be if I didn't check up on my Sergeant?" he replies. Gaz's eyes soften a little. It makes his chest flutter.
"A shit one, I guess."
Price has to laugh at the flippant reply.
He hears rustling from behind him â he glances behind him, and sure enough, Gaz's roommate looks sheepish at being caught watching them.
"Don't mind me," the strange man says and takes out his phone. Price nods at him, feeling suddenly self-conscious. He turns back to Gaz whose eyes are already on him.
"Those for me?" he nods at the flowers and Price can feel his cheeks heat up.
"Yeah." He shrugs. "It's polite, isn't it?"
"Courtesy flowers," Gaz replies cheekily. "I'm touched, Boss."
"I can always take these home with me."
"C'mon now, Cap, I never get flowers," Gaz says, reaching out towards them. Price hands them over, their fingers brushing at the exchange, and he refuses to snatch his hand back even though it feels like the point of contact could burn him. Gaz cradles the flowers to his chest, leaning down to smell them.
"Thank you," he says then with a faint smile and Price mentally congratulates himself for the impulse buy.
"There's a vase on top the shelf above you," Gaz's roommate pipes up and Price nearly startles.
Gaz grins at the man. "Thanks, mate. Well, Cap?" He looks at Price expectantly, and suddenly Price is overcome with such fondness for his Sergeant that he doesn't know what to do.
It's helpless. He knows what it is, this unnamed emotion, the one he's still not brave enough to acknowledge. He thinks back to the panic he felt when Gaz went down, the desperation with which he hastily stuffed the bullet wound with gauze before heading for exfil. He should be groveling at Gaz's feet for forgiveness.
Perhaps he could, still, start with getting the bloody vase.
#pricegaz#gazprice#price x gaz#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#here's today's update - more to come tomorrow!#btw if you feel like i need to tag something here please let me know#i thought canon typical violence doesnt need separate tagging but do let me know#this drabble is actually the longest... the others stay firmly in the 200-300 range#cod#call of duty#narcissosbythepool
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i am going to fail the easiest class of this semester, i can feel it
#yes this is me still complaining about access#like there has to be a way to buy it without being a business right?#like im assuming not all the kids at uni have bought the office for businesses so there has to be another way to buy it#but ive spent literally hours looking and i still havent found access for personal use#also it being named access is so annoying considering that access is a real word so it makes googling annoying#jo says stuff#university update
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"all this foreshadowing abt declan dying and then he didn't even die" well personally i think declan got murdered dead by mstief in greywaren so. actually 2 me he did die. Badly.
#like sorry 2 to say it but also not sorry the declan i know would never do to matthew what he did in gw..#like obviously he has done some shit stuff to matthew (and ronan as well. this to mean ronan did shit stuff irt matthew as well not declan#did shit stuff to ronan. though he very much did and vice versa but like not the point here.) BUT i know he would NEVER strip matthew of his#autonomy like that and NEVER for so long. like i didn't write declan lynch as a character but also i know he wouldn't do that. that's his#baby brother........and i know he feels like matthew robbed him of his youth and his life and whoever he would've grown up to be but HE JUST#WOULD NEVER....i know this....like sorry but that is the most awful fucked up shit to do ever in the entire world. someone depends on you#and looks up to you and trusts you and you take away the thing that keeps them awake??? i'd even say the thing that essentially keeps them#ALIVE bc without a sweetmetal dreams aren't really alive they're just sleeping for eternity which is a kind of death. LIKE......#that just baffles me so much u just have to be soooooo uncaring to do that....like if he just did it in the moment of anger - snatched that#pendant off matthew's neck so he fell asleep and declan wouldn't have to deal with him anymore and then immediately afterwards was like.#what have i done this is so fucked up to do to someone. and put the pendant back on matthew. and apologized prefusely for it. that would#have still not been fine but in bouts of anger ppl do stupid desperate things that negatively affect others and it would've been#considerably less fucked up than it is now. like declan kept that pendant away for UP TO TWO DAYS. he drove the whole way back put ronan#somewhere safe carried matthew out of the car and into the house carried him upstairs into the bedroom and put him in bed went back#downstairs went outside locked the car went back into the house ate showered slept woke up ate breakfast again go through the whole day and#NOT ONCE did he think to himself oh this thing i'm doing is genuinely horrible i can't just take away someone's like. awareness. like that#& went to go 'wake' matthew????? NOT ONCE????? ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS???? NOT ONCE IN THOSE ONE AND A HALF OR TWO OR POSSIBLY MORE DAYS???#also just the whole. turning into his father thing. HARD NO. u mean the same declan who hated his father for very right reasons and hated#what he did to the entire lynch family both while he was alive and after he died the same declan that hated all the trading and buying and#selling dream things business and just that underground market in general (that btw. put the family he had left in life-threatening danger.)#the same declan who hated his father for dreaming a more perfect and loving unconditionally copy of his actual mother (rightfully so.) went#on 2 go into the exact business he always hated w/ a fiery passion?? ur also telling me he invited his father's killer to his wedding? fake.#trc#greywaren#<- needs its own tag bc i'm not putting it in the same category as call down the hawk my beloved call down the hawk.#anyway. that entire essay in the tags can be summarized w/: who declan ended up as & his entire arc is SO shit i hate it sm peace n love đ#as i've said before. me: mom can we have declan lynch? mom: no we have declan lynch @ home. declan lynch @ home: declan lynch in greywaren.#<<<<< full experience of reading gw. 2 me. ARGHHHH AOUGH THE POTENTIAL IT HAD THE POTENTIAL IT WASTED... IT'S ACTUALLY SO SAD....
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i literally cant stop thinkinâ about highschoolbully!gojo who used to be your ride or die âtil he started getting attention from those popular jock type guys who are always assholes to everyone. and him being.. well, him means he preens under attention no matter who itâs from, so naturally he started to gravitate towards that group and their little troop of cheerleading fangirls. and then he started distancing from you and without either of you really realizing it, youâve slipped between the otherâs fingers. but the way he acts towards you makes you think he let you fall without moving a muscle to slow you down.
soon enough, a year swings by and by the end of it heâs gone from your life, save as just another face in the gaggle of boys who make crude jokes and laugh at smart kids and pop milk cartoons during lunch just for the hell of it. but youâre minding your own business, âcause youâre mature enough to realize that people come and go, no matter how close you mightâve been and you think itâs unfortunate that so many memories could be thrown aside in a blink of an eye, but it makes a lot of sense when you walk past satoru and his friends bullying some random kid. you donât know him, but youâve heard enough to realize itâs his girlfriend satoruâs flirting with while his âgangâ kick at the kid. and itâs sickening, but you donât say anything when you walk by.
and when you donât ever see the kid afterward and catch the dark eyebags under his girlfriendâs eyes, you come to the cruel realization that satoru isnât the boy whoâd bandage the scrape on your knee you got from tripping in the playground or buy you a soda because heâs noticed your sweat when you were walking home and you donât have any money left on you.
itâs a glass half empty, half full type of situation. on the one hand, you donât have him anymore. on the other hand, you donât have him anymore. that is, you lost your best friend, but youâve also lost someone who has the potential to absolutely ruin your life. and you donât know whether to be glad or not, so you just mind your own business even if it hurts a little when he ignores you, stops tossing paper at your head in class (unless itâs to embarrass you) and stops walking you to and from school.
but the cherry on top of the shit cake is that he doesn't get it. so when he approaches you in the library one day after satiating the need to tear pages from books and make them into paper airplanes to throw at people, he doesn't seem to understand why you try to ignore him, or put off his attempts to hold a convo. but the worst part is that he's just sleazy and clueless about it. it's like he took an eraser and wiped every single year of your friendship off the chalkboard with one fell swipe, and you wish he'd done that too to the less-than-appropriate messages he and his friends had written towards one of your classmates.
he doesn't understand why you're hesitant to talk, and that's what makes it the worst. he always thinks he's in the right, and he keeps setting you off and it sucks that he knows exactly what sets you off. "i'm an asshole? what're you talking about? really, you're in over your head. you never change." he laughs, and you ignore him, and he gets bored, and he's about to leave when he spots your wallet open next to your book, on the table. there's a polaroid peeking out, and he recognizes the tufts of white hair to be him. but there's a weird feeling in his chest, and he thinks he gets it from you, so he leaves because he thinks you're weird.
and it goes on; you practically become a nobody in satoru's eyes, because of that weird, weird feeling you give him. it's unfamiliar and he's never gotten it before and he doesn't like it. but it's unavoidable when your professor pairs you two for the end-of-term project. and of course, you're ready to do all the work, because that's how it always was between you when you were kids. but sometimes he'd surprise you by helping, and he'd show you that he was actually intelligent just to earn your praise because he liked it. but he ignored you, and you did everything, and it would've been okay if not for his friends egging him on to present your entire project when the day came and leave you with no content for a grade.
that's the first time it hits him: does he really want to do that? but it's not like it'll be the first time; you've always taken the hits for him, because you're naturally smart and you'll pick yourself back up in no time, and you get why he does it, so it'll be okay. so he agrees, and he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you through it, but the nagging weird feeling that blooms in his chest like a pesky weed only grows stronger. that's all his feelings ever seem to do around you.
but before you know it, presentation day swings around. you had coffee this morning (on his card), and you're ready enough to shoot him a small smile that sends his heart a-flutter. so you go up, feeling up to the task and ready untilâ he starts talking, and talking, and talking, and people don't think that he's taking your words out of your mouth because he's intelligent when he wants to make you praise him and you don't get the chance to get a word in and you notice the guys are laughing and hitting each other's shoulders to themselves in the upper rows and before you know it it's over. people are clapping but moreso they're looking at you and they're whisperingâ but it's terribly loud and they don't bother to hide it. they call you things that shouldn't bother you but they do anyway, because it's satoru's fault, and you're such a fool for thinking you could have it your way again.
so you leave class early, excusing yourself and ignoring the way your professor gives you a distasteful look and scribbles something next to your name. you're out the door in a second, neglecting your bags and satoru's a little lost becauseâ didn't he just do good? people were clapping, and laughing with him and not at him, but it's attention either way so he doesn't mind. so why do you? why did you look at him like he stabbed you in the back? and his friends are calling his name, and he wishes he could chase after you and do something but he doesn't.
and it's a little sickening what they do next; one of their girls grabbed your bags and tossed it to them, and they've started rifling through it as if they own it, tearing up your shit and dumping everything onto the ground and he's kind of just... glued to the chair by his feelings. his heart feels like it's been patched together and the weird fuzzy feeling he had in his chest that's been cultivating has extinguished to be replaced with something he realizes he's only ever felt when it comes to youâ guilt.
he's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize his friend is silently offering him somethingâ nudging his side to get his attention. he takes it without really realizing he moved his hand, and his silent friend with the gauges in his ears and the dark hair gets up and leaves without another word. when satoru looks down, he realizes he's been given your wallet. "the reward for betraying your baby," they call it. like all you're worth is the money in your account.
he's a little curious. that's how he's always been; asking you questions, rummaging through your stuff, laughing sheepishly and shaking it off when you caught him red-handed. so he opens it up, ignoring your sad little cards and the funny look on your license. he's looking for something, subconsciously; but he doesn't find it. there's no white tuft of hair to suggest his presence in your life; just empty black leather. nothing else.
and he doesn't see you after. or the following day. or the following weeks; weeks that turn into months that turn into the end of school and he's graduating but you're not by his side. and neither are his so called 'friends'; the only thing he has to their name is your own ruined friendship. it's a shame; he feels alone. very alone. no fuzzy weird feeling, not even that thing people call guilt. no attention to chase, and connections are ever harder to make. it shouldn'tve mattered that much, right? it was just a presentation. why wouldn't you just come back to him like you always did? were you not still friends...?
but the blood is still on his hands, and he doesn't manage to ever wash it off. guilt has a way of festering; of weighing on the heart 'till there's nothing left to feel or think but unfortunate circumstance and what could've been done differently. it just sucks that he never tried hard enough to keep you from slipping between his grasp. and now, he doesn't even have a polaroid to your friendship's name.
pt.2
#idk where this came from#this has probably been done before so i hope this take is original enough đ¨âđł#new drabble style cus i got lazy ajgfbdshjg#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#satoru gojo x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x y/n#technically#jjk angst#gojo angst#billet-doux#satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#gojo#jjk satoru#gojo jjk
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The one where Toji gets a buzz cut.
Masterlist
-â˘-
You dropped the grocery bags on the ground when you were greeted by your boyfriend.
But not out of excitement or happiness.
âNo! Your glorious hair!â You dramatically walked to him so you could take a closer look at the damage. Toji, being the evil man he was, laughed at your response. âWhat dâya think? I hated my hair covering my eyes while I was on missions so I tried something new.���
âSomething new? You look like a felon!â You groaned as your hands roamed around his scalp, hoping for a miracle that would grow his hair back.
âAlright, thatâs too far. I thought chicks dug this look.â
âNot on you! Maybe some weirdo that doesnât look like an assassin for hire.â
âBut I am one.â
âThatâs besides the point, Toji. Youâve hurt me. By cutting off your hair youâve also cut off any ties you had with me.â You sulk.
Toji was starting to feel self conscious even when he knew the adjustment phase would go away. âDo I really look that bad, doll?â
âNo, but-â
âThereâs a but? Okay, thatâs it, Iâm not touching you from now on. Since I look so bad, you can come to me when you find me attractive.â Okay this was turned into a real argument and you started to get agitated too.
âFine! Letâs see whoâll last longer.â
Toji simply scoffed and walked back into his man cave.
Who knows how long you guys were planning to do this for?
-â˘-
A long time. You both can go without touching each other for a long time. It had been a week and a half without any physical intimacy but the relationship was normal, you both spoke about anything and everything. Neither of you were showing signs of caving in (or were just that good at hiding it).
It was a quiet afternoon. Toji was out buying some last minute ingredients for dinner and you were starting to miss him. And as much you hated to admit, the buzz cut was growing on you. Just the other day you had to fan yourself when you saw Toji doing pushups where he looked like an underground fighter prepping for his next match.
To distract yourself you decided to spend your time calling your friend instead. You put her on speaker while you organized your closet.
âGirl, what do you mean itâs ugly? Itâs all the rage right now.â
âI know. I hated it when he first got it and now all I can think about is pouncing on him. Ugh, I hate myself.â
âYou live together. Just go touch him, you fool.â
âNo, Iâll lose and I canât lose to him. Heâs always winning bets between the two of us.â
The conversation went on for a few more minutes until your friend had some urgent business to attend to.
You turned around to grab the rest of clothes and shrieked when you saw a tall figure standing in the door way.
It was Toji. âDid you hear everything?â
âIâve been here since you admitted that my haircut was hot. Do what you will with that info.â
You sighed as you sat down on the bed. âI guess that means you win.â He could tell you were pouting even when you were turned away from him. He smiled at your childishness and gathered you in his arms and made you lay on top of him as he laid down on the bed. âThere, you won.â
âNo, it doesnât work like that. I admitted that I wanted you first so youâre still the winner.â
âThen youâll be happy to know Iâve been thinking about pouncing on you since the day I got my haircut. I wanted to do it out of spite cause I knew youâd cave in but then we made that stupid bet.â
âUgh, Iâm so stupid. You do not look bad at all, Toji. In fact, you look like a hot felon. The type of felon that has a girlfriend who visits him.â You mumbled as you played with the collar of his t-shirt.
âUhuh, and does she do overnight visits?â He then started attacking your face with kisses as you start giggling.
It was you and your hot felon against the world.
#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji zenin#toji x reader#jujutsu toji#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji x y/n#toji fluff#jjk#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you
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Push My Buttons | L.HS
bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!
_____
Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.
"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.
âItâs my job, Y/N. Youâd know what that was if you werenât such a spoiled brat,â he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.
Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.
Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.
You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, heâs been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.
Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.
To Heeseung, youâre just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money.Â
It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and youâre buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver.Â
Finally, you spare him a glance, âJust stand over there, okay? You really donât have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,â you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.
With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.
Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. Itâs a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.
Heâs been in this role for 3 months and he wonât get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesnât hate you, but heâs close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering heâs only looking out for you per your daddyâs request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful.Â
Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseungâs jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.
Youâre too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.
âI think you should go with that one,â the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, âSorry, didnât mean to scare you, beautiful.â
Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.
âWhich one?â you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.
âThe left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,â he smirks, thinking heâs being so smooth but youâre not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, heâs only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.
Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. Heâs already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now heâs touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.
With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, âBaby girl, are you almost done?â he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, âWho is this?â he asks, eyes now pointed forward.
The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.
âIâm Woobin,â he says almost inaudibly. Itâs amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.
"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt
The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if theyâve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasnât done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.
Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldnât deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else.Â
âI donât work here, I-â
âThen get your hands the fuck off my girl,â Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like heâs physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.
Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you donât stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didnât feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration
But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobinâs number and potentially a good fuck that youâre clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with.Â
Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.
As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasnât let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.
You donât know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didnât even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.
Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldnât see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.
Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesnât know.Â
You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, âWhat the fuck was that?â you seeth, twisting your body to face him.
âWhat was what?â he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour.Â
Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, âYou know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,â you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store.Â
âGood. God knows what he had, he was a creep,â Heeseungâs face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more.Â
You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didnât even know.
Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, âI canât ever have any fun with you around,â you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why youâre trying to be civil in the first place.Â
This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you havenât had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.
Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, âI donât know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,â he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.
You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didnât know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.
Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, âPick the one on the right and letâs get a move on,â he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back.Â
It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasnât leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago.Â
With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.
_____
As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress youâre wearing hugs you nicely.
Obviously, you donât tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could.Â
The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that werenât accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. âThereâs too much risk at a partyâ he will always tell you.
A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster.Â
âIâm coming in,â Heeseungâs voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, âA bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?â he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows heâs about to argue with you about your plans.
âOh, yâknow, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,â you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.
Heeseung grumbles, âLetâs cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,â he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.
But you canât let him win, not this time around. Itâs your best friendâs birthday night out and if you miss it, youâll never be invited to anything again; you canât miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.
You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.
His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you werenât invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.
He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.
As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.
His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.
You really need to get fucked because heâs suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; itâs probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.
âI am going to Ryujinâs birthday party,â you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but heâs too strong and it doesnât work. Even with all your efforts, it doesnât budge.
Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.
Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..
"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.
"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.
Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.
"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.
"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.
Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.
It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isnât known for its good reputation, itâs sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.
Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.
You donât agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didnât have a penny to your name all those years ago.
"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.
âShe hired out the whole bar, itâs not like anyone can just walk in,â you try to reason back but it doesnât work as Heeseungâs resolve remains the same.
âYou arenât going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,â he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really canât stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.
The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.
You need to go, you canât cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, âYou can come with me,â you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more heâs warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more youâre starting to want his protection.
âI thought I wasnât invited?â He raises his eyebrows sceptically.
Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.
Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.
"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.
You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.
Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."
This is going to end disastrously.
_____
"Rememberâ"
"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.
Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.
You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.
"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tacticâtrying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.
He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'
As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the placeâdirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.
The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.
Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.
Itâs times like that that he has some faith in you, that you arenât all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.
Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.
"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.
Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.
"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.
True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks youâre remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you arenât so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you donât know.
As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.
Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.
Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.
And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.
Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he canât help it, youâre too precious to be led off by the likes of him.
Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. Youâre not precious, youâre a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.
This is what he has to tell himself every day.
He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasnât dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.
As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.
But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.
"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.
You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.
Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."
You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.
Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."
His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.
Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, âY-you do,â you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, âYou do satisfy me.â
âGood girl,â he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, âYou heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,â he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.
As Woobin backs up and mutters âThis is not fucking worth itâ, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing heâs scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that youâre no one but his.
You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.
But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, âHeeseung,â you slap his chest and push him away, âStop fucking babying me!â Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseungâs antics finally pushing you too far.Â
"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.
"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"
Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.
Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.
His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.
Either way, you need to get this steam out.Â
âY/N! Get back here right now!â he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure.Â
As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.
Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. Itâs reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesnât mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.
But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.
Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.
"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.
âSorry if I want to have some fun,â you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.
As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, âAnd kissing and fucking random guys is fun?â he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.
Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you canât make a quick escape. You donât even attempt to try and flee, already knowing youâre only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isnât fun.Â
âIâm 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,â you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you donât end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.
"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.
You want to slap him, angry that he doesnât seem to get it, âI donât get to fuck anyone thanks to you,â you retort back with venom laced in your voice.
His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"
âYes! Obviously!â
Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, youâre confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.
But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming itâs the flavour of his vape he swears he doesnât use.
Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering.Â
He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think youâre in danger.
With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans heâs prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.
Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans.Â
Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.
The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.
Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."
A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.
But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.
With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."
âThought so,â he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.
Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.
âYou donât even know if Iâll fit,â his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, âAll those preppy rich boy cocks arenât anything like mine,â he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, âSee?â
Whining, you pout, knowing heâs just teasing you for badness, âI promise I can handle it,â you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.
He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.
With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until heâs bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.
Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.
"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.
Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.
Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit thatâs managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.
Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way.Â
As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.
âYouâre squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I wonât last much longer,â he admits, knowing that heâs close to the edge himself.
âNeed it, I need you to cum,â you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.
Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.
With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat.Â
âOh, fuck,â he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, âCum with me, Y/N. Please.â
Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.
âAre you okay?â he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.
Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, âI feel great,â you smile.
Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, âWe canât do this ever again,â he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.
âWhat do you mean?â you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, âWas it not okay?â
Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best heâs ever had, but itâs not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.
He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, âIt was great, but Iâm supposed to protect you, not fuck you,â he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.
âWeâll use protection next time,â you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, âItâs no big deal.â
Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.
The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.
âWe forget about this, okay?â he asks, eyes flickering to you.
You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you wonât forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.
#enha smut#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#heeseung smut#lee heeseung smut#aj writes#enhypen angst#enhypen fic#e2l is slowly becoming my fave to write
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Could I request Dr Ratio, Aven, and Sunday (separately) with a partner who calls them edible as a weird form of compliment? Like âawww you look so cute and edible!â
And maybe they sometimes bite him, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to be uncomfortable
Please and thank ya!
ęąá´É´á´
á´Ę, á´á´ á´É´á´á´ĘÉŞÉ´á´, á´É´á´
á´
Ę Ęá´á´ÉŞá´ á´ĄÉŞá´Ę á´É´ ęą/á´ á´ĄĘá´ á´á´ĘĘęą á´Ęá´á´ á´á´
ÉŞĘĘá´ á´ęą á´ á´á´á´á´ĘÉŞá´á´É´á´
pairings - sunday x reader / aventurine x reader / dr ratio x reader
content - reader is gender-neutral/ established relationship/ reader has their own way of expressing their affection lol
warnings - none
â Ęá´á´á´
ɪɴɢ... â
âAww you look so cute and edible!â
âEdible? Is this in reference to my wings being called chicken wings?âÂ
âť Sunday has literally no idea what you are talking about but he appreciates the compliment
âť Whenever you call him âedibleâ he just gives you a smile and says thank you, continuing on with his business
âť At one point he would probably ask his sister what it means to be called âedibleâ, getting a laugh and a not so helpful description in response
âş Heâd probably ask the Trailblazer about it since they seem on par with your slang (boomer Sunday lol)
âť Sometimes youâll randomly bite him, especially on his wings which always get a extreme reaction from himÂ
âş He canât tell whether he likes it or is uncomfortable with it, nonetheless he politely advises you to bite anywhere else besides his wings (he might experiment on that later in private)
âť Like your âedibleâ comment, heâll find your biting a little weird but dismisses it as your way of showing that you adore him (maybe itâs some sort of mating ritual? who knows)
âť If you call him âedibleâ or bite him in public, he freezesâ how is he going to explain this!?Â
âş He probably has numerous of bite marks on his skin from you, not like you bit too hard for it to hurt but it was definitely hard enough to leave a mark (he gets flustered everytime he looks at them, desperately trying to cover them up before leaving the house)
âş If someone says something about it, heâll shrug it off and say thatâs how you show your affection for him, giving them a look that urges them to not talk about it any longer
âIâm cute and edible? Thanks, youâre cute and edible too, _____.â
âť Aventurine partially understands what you mean
âť Heâll call you âedibleâ as well as a little joke, giving you a playful smile
âť Honestly, Aventurine would take the âedibleâ compliment as something suggestive, calling you âedibleâ with a knowing look in his eyes as you burn up underneath his gaze
âNot in that way, Aven!â
âť Aventurine lets you call him whatever you want as long as itâs nothing too extreme, especially if itâs in a public setting
âş However, being called âedibleâ isnât inherently a bad thing to be called so he just shrugs and lets you call him that
âť I can imagine him buying some sort of pastry/cake of himself to live up to that compliment of yours
âSee ____, Iâm literally edible now.â
âť If you bit Aventurine as a way of showing your affection, heâd do the same to you without any shame
âş The fucker would do it in public too, right in front of his subordinates or coworkers
âť Youâd mainly bite his forearm, cheek, or neck (right on his tattoo), which always elicits a reaction out of him
âş Sometimes it would leave marks and he wouldnât even bother covering them up, in fact, heâd display it with pride
âOh this? My partner gave it to me, thatâs how they show their affection.â
âť He couldnât give two shits about what anyone has to say about them
âť The bites you give him are a not that uncomfortable, heâd probably like the feeling a lot (masochist -_-)
âEdible? _____, you can't eat me. That would be known as cannibalism, which is frowned upon in most places.â
âť Veritas has no clue what the fuck you are talking about.
âť Edible? What do you mean heâs edible?? Are you planning on eating him???
âť He just stares at you to see if youâre joking, but youâre not, so he massages his temples as he gives you a disappointed sigh
âOut of all the compliments you couldâve given me, you chose to call me âedibleâ.â
âť He respects your effort and appreciates the compliment though, never giving it a second thought if you call him that again
âť Honestly, Veritas would probably do some research on what it means, taking it a tad bit far
âş Is it something the people on your planet did? Was it a courting thing?Â
âş Youâd have to reassure him that itâs just a compliment you came up with and that it just means you love him a lot (spoiler alert: he doesnât believe you for a second and thinks thereâs a hidden meaning behind it)
âť Watching him invest his time into this compliment is something that both intrigues and worries you, but you let him go until it gets too far
âť If you bit him as a way of showing your affection, heâd probably go down a whole ânother rabbit hole about its meaning
âť If your biting left some marks on him, heâd cover them up to the best of his ability
âş If someone noticed them, he would immediately glare at them, effectively preventing them from talking about it
âNot a word.â
âť You probably like biting his biceps lol
âť If you bit hard enough to where it was uncomfortable, heâd probably politely tell you to stop and that if youâre going to perform your weird mating ritual, you need to bite softer
â á´á´á´á´Ęá´á´á´! â
#writingâ #hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x reader#hsr dr ratio x reader#dr ratio x reader#hsr veritas ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#fluff
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Bounty Hunting The Wrong Guy [NSFW]
characters: sylus x reader
warnings: 18+, smut, age gap (reader is 21 here), bounty hunter mc, it takes a while to get to the smut part, nipple teasing, punishment, swearing, fingering, clit teasing, piv (penetration), wrists bound (by evol), no protection, bratty reader (sort of)
-----
You let out a satisfied sigh when you plopped your body onto the wooden chair placed conveniently next to a table full of different weapons and devices you probably will have no need on using at the moment, staring at the unconcious white haired man in front of you that was tied down onto the other wooden chair in the room.
Without wasting a second, you stretched your right leg out to get a better grip onto the phone that was in your pocket, giving it a few taps to call a certain someone about your lucky find.
A few rings passed by and the person on the other end finally answers, you didn't waste a second to let them know that your end of the job was done and that you were ready to receive your pay, and next order.
"Hello?"
"Heyyy!! If it isn't my favorite-"
"Cut to the chase. You got the man or not?"
You let out another sigh, this time annoyed. No matter how good your mood is it'll always get ruined by something, or in this case, someone.
"Yeah yeah, your man's right here with me" You rolled your eyes, checking your nails to see if you had made any damage on them while trying to capture your target from earlier.
"Send proof"
You immediately brought the phone away from your hand to switch it into camera mode while the call was still on, taking a quick picture of the tall, muscular man with white hair and black clothes on, before clicking open an app to send the picture to the person on the other side.
"There. Jerk off to it." You muttered before putting the phone back to your ear, hearing only silence for a little bit.
The silence followed up with a few mumbles, it seems like there were other people other than the person who paid you to catch this person, and it looks like they had an issue with the image you sent them.
"...That's not him"
The other end spoke, and your eyebrows furrowed immediately. Not realizing you had uncrossed your legs as you leaned forward in disbelief.
"What do you mean? He perfectly fits the description you said. Tall, white hair, and can fight. He put up a great fight and he has white hair. With a vague description like that I have to earn something in return for being able to catch something like this!"
You raised your voice, but the person wasn't buying it. How were you even supposed to find a man when he wears a mask all the time?
"We asked you to find Lumiere, not the Leader of- Ah forget it. This never happened"
Your mouth dropped in disbelief. Instinctively your legs forced your body to jump right up, now you were pacing around the room with your hand to your head, you seriously fucked up this time.
And to add the fact that they mentioned, what? A leader? A leader of what exactly? Well it probably doesn't even matter since you were currently at N109 Zone. Everything here is dangerous and oh boy...
If you had caught the Leader of Onychinus that lives here at N109 Zone... No. There's no way you'd have easily caught him.
"Wait, wait! I'll do it again, I'll toss this guy on the streets and get you the guy you want okay! If you could just find more intel on him-" You desperately tried to reason with them, but it didn't matter, their mind was set.
"The deal is off, girl. Whatever you do with the guy you have there is not our business. Goodbye"
Before you could talk them out of it any further, they hung up on you. However you were stubborn and you sent them a few texts, but it seemed like they had already blocked you.
"Fuck!" You cussed. Throwing your phone onto the worn out couch that was on the other end of the room. Usually you were very good at what you do, but it seems like making a few mistakes could happen as well.
The entire time you were freaking out and pacing around your room thinking of what to do next, you didn't realize that the man you had handcuffed onto the chair had been awake the moment you called your client.
He was kind enough to listen to what your true intentions were before he made a move on you, so when it was clear that you got the wrong man, he let you have your moment of distress before he decided to do anything else.
You didn't have the energy to drag the heavy man all the way out at the moment. Right now you needed a drink, a strong one at that. You'll deal with this man on another day, but not today.
Just when you were about to open the doors leading to another room, you found yourself struggling to create a gap on the two gigantic thick pieces of wood. A frown stronger than before engulfs your face as you tsked.
"What the-"
You were cut off when you heard a click behind you. Without wasting a second you turned your head to face the white haired man that was supposed to be unconcious on the chair, but instead you found him standing right in front of you.
Before you could lift your hand to attack him, he had your hands pinned onto the door with a dark red mist, almost resembling the color of blood, you were going to use your legs next, but they were also useless as they remained stuck.
"Shit!" You cussed under your breath, things were starting to get really dangerous. But you tried to remain calm, since you always knew how to get yourself out of situations like these.
"Wrong guy, huh?" The white haired man raised his eyebrow at you. His hands shoved into his pockets as he looked down to meet his eyes with yours, you felt mocked. But you weren't gonna give in.
"Heh yeah... Bummer"
You awkwardly laughed, trying to find a way to escape. Eyes darting around the room to find something that would help. But your search was futile when his hand grabbed your face and turned it to face him, your wide eyes locked in with his crimson ones.
"There's no use finding an escape, kitten. You're stuck here with me until I decide to let you go" His deep yet dominating voice calmly said, the sudden nickname he gave you made you furrow your eyebrows.
"Until you decide to let me go? Oh hell nah"
You shook your head to release the grip on your face, you were planning on acting like a small fry and crawl your way out, but something about being looked down on bothered you, and you just had to say something about it.
"Listen man, I don't know who you are, but I admit this whole thing was my fault, okay? If you need something to compensate for whatever loss you had I'll give it, just name your price"
In a strong yet calm manner, you bribed the man in front of you in an attempt to free yourself, but once again, like deja vu, he wasn't buying it.
"I don't think so"
You heard him answer before your entire vision is covered in red and black, few feathers can be seen swishing around before the dirty and worn out room you were at was replaced with an extravagant one with a dark aesthetic. A bedroom to be exact.
Your eyes widened in shock, frantically letting your head move left and right in disbelief. Did you just teleport?
"What the hell..." You whispered, not releasing that your hands were bound behind you now.
You had no idea that evols could teleport, or maybe that was this guy's whole shtick, either way, right now wasn't the time to be impressed.
Before you could ask why you were brought into a bedroom, a large hand wrapped itself around your left arm and pulled you toward the bed, gently yet strong enough to toss you onto the bed, the sudden gesture made you immediately go to defense mode.
"Hey man what gives-" You yelled, but the moment you turned your head you were an inch away from the white haired man's face.
You didn't realize this before because of how stressed out you were but, he was very attractive.
"A little kitten decided to pull me out from a very important meeting, I would just give that kitten a little flick on the forehead and be on my way, but to know that I wasn't even the kitten's main target is a bit annoying"
He said, each word he spoke made you feel his hot breath on your lips, but you had to stay focused and get out.
"W-Why's that?" You slightly furrowed your eyebrows once more, trying to mask your awareness with an innocent confused look.
"Because I can't kill it without a reason" He concluded. The red gleam in his eyes made you shudder, the bloodlust was there alright.
You still didn't know who this man was, however. So as if the threat didn't happen, you audaciously decided to open your mouth to ask.
"By the way, who even are you?"
You had no idea your tone was so mocking as to how curious you were, you watched as the man had a lost expression on his face, it didn't show shock, but he was definitely taken back by your question.
"...How old are you?" He answered back with a question completely irrelevant to yours, but you answered him anways.
"21, why?" You watched him scoff.
"The way you behave is like a child" You weren't exactly phased by his words, cause you were too busy figuring out how to release yourself from the evol that was holding you in place.
Your silence hinted the man that your focus was on something else, and that bothered him. So to grab your attention he sat himself of the bed and lifted you up, now you were suddenly sitting on his lap, back facing him.
"Woah!" You exclaimed, out of everything you thought of you weren't expecting him to lift you up like nothing and have you sat on his lap.
Oh, it kinda feels comfy...
You thought, snapping yourself out of it when you remembered the situation you were in.
No wait! I gotta lock in!
"H-Hey what are you doing, man!?" You yelled, turning your head to eye the intimidating man who smirked at you.
"You don't think you can just leave after putting me in such a sorry state without compensation, do you?"
Your eyes widened at his words, suddenly a shiver ran down your spine. It seemed like the fear hasn't kicked in until now. In response to his question that wasn't particularly seeking a response, you gulped.
"I-I told you I'll do something as an apology earlier..." You said in a quiet tone, almost mumbling, but still audible.
"I rather not wait. I'm not a patient man"
You felt his large hands wrap itself around your torso, holding you still as you felt something hard poke your ass. You stared into the distance with wide eyes, almost like you were in daze before unconciously muttering the words-
"What the fuck"
"It looks like compensation won't be the only thing I need to gain tonight, but also a lesson for that mouth of yours" He whispered into your ear, you felt your face heating up from the sudden intimacy.
You didn't want to admit it, but you were excited.
You remained silent, waiting to see what his next move was. You were too busy suppressing how you felt to notice his hands moving under your clothes to feel your bare skin, until you felt his cold fingertips. Making you flinch and your breath hitch.
"Sylus..." He whispered.
"...What?"
"I'm Sylus"
You felt your face crumble in shock. Suddenly freezing before struggling to look back at the man slowly. You heard about him so many times before ever since you came to N109 Zone. There's even posters about him throwing in high prices if he was captured.
It was stupid that your client didn't accepted Sylus, because he was probably worth more than Lumiere. But even if they did wanted Sylus, you'd probably still end up in the same situation as you are now.
"...Fuck" Like a machine that reacts through cuss words, you swore under your breath. Watching the man himself, Sylus tilt his head at you with a raised eyebrow.
"...Fine, make it quick" You concluded. You decided to get over with whatever he wanted. Knowing that running away was futile now that you knew who he was. Totally not because you wanted to spend some time with the attractive older male.
"...I like your confidence" He smirked, his hands now actively trailing upward to lift your bra upwards under your clothes, his fingers brushing against your nipples, the unexpected gesture made you close your eyes on instinct, biting your lower lip.
You felt his fingers circle around your areolas, you could tell he was playing with you, and with the pride you had that bothered you. But you can't help but stay quiet and let him touch you the way he pleased, something about his touch was making you lose all reason.
Not realizing that you were squirming the entire time, you heard him groan behind you as you unconciously wanted to feel his clothed dick on your swollen clit, being the one in control, he noticed your needs.
"Don't move, or else I'll be getting more than a compensation from you" He warned.
"Tsk! Then hurry up, old man!" You groaned impatiently, face red from having your nipples touched bare by someone else other than you.
You didn't realize that your words would cost you when his right hand suddenly went from your breast to slipping down your pants in one swift move, making you attempt to move away from his hand like an idiot.
"W-What are you-?!"
"You want me to hurry up right? Then I will do just that" He said calmly, rubbing your clothed cunt to feel your juices soak your underwear. It felt uncomfortable and dirty, yet you can't help but shiver in excitement.
Sylus used his fingers to rub around your clit too. Letting the wetness rub against it so that teasing you would affect you more than it should, also to rile up my reactions from you.
You huffed when you felt him playing with your nipple with one hand, and the other rubbing on your clothed pussy. It felt good, but it wasn't enough, you were starting to wonder what kind of compensation Onychinus' Leader was even looking for at this point.
"S-Shit" You groaned, feeling impatient of having your body played around with no sight of release soon.
"Swearing again? You really are looking for some sort of punishment" It seemed like Sylus didn't like your sharp mouth, so he decided to give you something to learn to not do it again.
You had to hold back a whine when he suddenly removed his hand from your throbbing cunt, only to put it back in again, this time directly without having your underwear act as a barrier.
The bare feeling of his fingers on your wet clit made you roll your eyes back in satisfaction, finally getting the stimulation you've been eagerly wanting the entire time.
"Mmph! A-Ah there!"
You shamelessly moaned, thrusting your hips against his fingers to feel them rub against your small and swollen clit, just a few strokes and you'll finally get the release you've been wanting.
"So naughty" Sylus whispered into your ear, connecting his lips onto your neck and giving it a suck, letting his teeth add onto the friction to distract you from the pleasure you were getting from your cunt and nipple.
"I wanna cum!! H-Hurry up!!" You demanded, although Sylus found your tough personality endearing, he won't stand for being ordered around by someone as small as you.
"And what makes you think you deserve release so early? You need to learn your place, sweetie" His voice deepened as he warned, your eyes widened when his finger suddenly dragged itself down to your hole.
Before you could react, he already pushed one finger in, like he knew you already, his finger found it's way onto your sweet spot. You had to let out a gasp before moaning nonstop, feeling his finger continuously poke onto the same spot until your orgasm neared.
"N-No- Wait! P-Pleas- A-Ah!"
You threw your head back when he added another finger, tears forming in your eyes that you never thought would be from the pleasure you were getting, the orgasm you were going to have was being forced out of you without a second thought, you almost lost yourself in what the main goal was.
Right when you felt like you were inching towards cumming, Sylus removed his fingers from your hole that was now clenching around the air, hoping for something to substitute the painful arousal that was pooling out of it.
"Ah ah ah, bad kittens don't get their fill yet" He teased, you felt your vision turning foggy from the desperation creeping onto you. You almost forgot your hands were rendered useless at the moment because you still weren't free.
"C-Come on..." You whispered, almost in defeat. Your voice hinting a strong sense of desperation, almost making you sound cute.
"Don't worry, I'm not done yet"
Sylus reassured you, using his evol to pull your pants down along with your underwear, the action didn't make you notice he had lowered his own pants as well, releasing his hard veiny cock that was almost as large as a shampoo bottle.
"If you take this, then I'll accept your compensation and let you go" He rubbed his cock against your entrance, you couldn't see his length properly, but a few rubs and a very visible vein was enough to give you a shock.
"W-Wait that's way too big, I-I can't-"
"You can and you will. Or do you want to compensate me with your life?" He said, he wasn't serious. But how would you know? You're too drunk off your mind to think.
"..." You pressed your lips into a thin line, shutting yourself up from protesting any further.
"Good girl"
Sylus gently laid you down on the bed, your hands that were bound behind you now in front, as well as you having a better look of his cock. It was big enough to reach his belly button, and that intimidated you greatly, yet you couldn't wait to find out what it was like to have your gushing hole get plugged by it.
"Don't struggle" Was all the white haired man said before he started teasing his tip onto your hole, slowly pushing himself in as he watched your juices gush out of your hole to make room for his cock.
"A-AH! T-Too much!!" You whined, but Sylus believed you were stronger than that.
"I'm not even halfway in. But if it's too much for you i'll stop. Though I expected a bounty hunter to be more tougher than this" He mocked, watching your face glare at him.
"B-Bring it on, old man!! I'm no pussy!" You retorted, to which he chuckled at you.
"Good to hear"
He gave another push into your hole, you were sure with this one he was definitely more than halfway in. The feeling of his cock stretching into you while pushing onto your cervix made you cry in a manner you would have never thought you could do.
"O-Oh fuck!!" You exclaimed, having tears well up in your eyes again.
"Tsk, that mouth needs more than a lesson" Sylus tsked, before grabbing your face to kiss him, with no warning he had his tongue distracting you from the mix of pain and pleasure you were receiving.
His kiss was rough, yet so comforting. He made sure not an inch of your mouth was neglected before he started thrusting in and out of you.
You couldn't help but moan into his mouth with your eyes rolled back, right away with a few thrusts you could feel your orgasm that was denied earlier finding it's way back, and it was dangerously close too.
"M-Mmphh!!" You started becoming more aware of the smooching noises and squelches your mouth and hole was making, but everytime you tried to listen you'd be distracted by the loud slaps of Sylus' cock onto your pussy continuously.
Each time he hits the right spots you can't help but keep your eyes hung at the roof of your head, crying into the hungry kisses Sylus gave you to make your hole clamp down his dick.
Before you could even realize it, your orgasm finally arrived. Leaving you a moaning mess crying from stimulation. Also letting Sylus finally break the kiss between you two to relieve himself.
"A-Almost there" Sylus muttered in gritted teeth, not stopping for a second to chase his own ejaculation into your cunt while you helplessly laid on the bed, taking in his length continuously with every broken moan that left your mouth.
In a groan, Sylus let himself cum into your gushing wet hole that soaked the bedsheets, giving your forehead a small kiss before finally releasing your wrists and pulling out if you to let his cum spill out your twitching hole.
You could leave right now, but after having your hole destroyed and throbbing, you couldn't even sit up if you wanted to. The white haired man that was now lying beside you knew it all too well.
"Am I... *huff* ...free from... *pant*... compensating... ah.... you now...?" You said in between pants, your voice cracking from how hard you cried, your little attempt to speak made Sylus smile at you, hand on his head as he stared at you like he adored you.
"Hmm... No"
Your mouth dropped in disbelief, snapping your neck to look at the smirking white haired man.
"Perhaps I need to be compensated a few more times, only once isn't enough"
He wrapped his arms to hold you close to him, now your eyes were locked onto his chest, as he rested his chin onto your head while you remained speechless.
It looks like you got yourself in real big trouble with the one man you tried to avoid the entire time bounty hunting...
Onychinus' Leader Sylus.
-----
A/N: GUESS WHO CAME BACK W A NEW SMUT ONESHOT? thats right, i know i usually only do WUWA smut but i did mention I play LADS and oml... SYLUS...
PLEASE PUT ME ON A CHOKEHOLD SIR I AM YOURSSSS
ZAYNE PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND I LOVE YOU OKAY đđđ
anyways enjoy your meals â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸đ
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads sylus#sylus#sylus love and deepspace#l&ds#l&ds sylus#l&ds smut#lads smut#love and deepspace smut#sylus smut#sylus x reader#sylus x you#noveauskull
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Quality Time...
⪠ft. argenti. aventurine. blade. boothill. caelus. dan heng & imbibitor lunae. dr ratio. gallagher. gepard. jing yuan. luka. luocha. sampo. sunday. welt.
Cleaning Argenti's ship with him, getting the dust out of the finer details alongside him. It would be a hassle usually, but it was much better when he was with you. You who were like an Emanator of Beauty to him, he could never get sick of you, or your presence.
Sitting beside Aventurine in the casino as he wins his 54th game of Blackjack that night. His arm wrapped around your waist, smiling and having fun together as you watch the endless riches flow into his bank account.
Going on a late night stroll with Blade. The city was busy and bustling, but that wasn't going to bother either of you. Just the two of you, no script to follow. No guards to seize him, he's in disguise anyways. No one will notice him through his... Sunglasses and mask. It'll work.. Neither are his companions or mara there to annoy him. Not now, as you enjoy each others' presence.
Running through the ships of the IPC with Boothill. The men shooting at the both of you. He has your back, so he won't let you get injured by some bullets. He even has time to taunt them with some famous dance moves as the two of you evade their attacks.
Digging through trash cans together with Caelus. He could care less about the crowds of people watching this. He was enjoying it, giving you little small trinkets he thinks you'd like. A toy that someone threw away, a bouquet from a rejected man.. A golden trash bag? Well, it's the thought that counts, right? It was cute just watching him dig through the bins to find something for you.
Staying up and updating the data bank with Dan Heng. The faint sound of machinery and typing the only sounds in the room. Other than the sound of pen on paper from when he writes something down. Alternatively, laying beside Imbibitor Lunae in his supposed bed. But it was so much comfier, especially when you were wrapped in the arms, and tail, of your boyfriend.
Reading a book with Dr. Ratio at the local library. A small treat for the both of you as he had just finished his lecture. Refreshing his own mind with both the intelligent writings, and your presence. At least he didn't have to deal with any idiots at the moment.
Learning to brew up some nice drinks with Gallagher. He shares his favorite brew with you, and you share your own concoction with him. Clinking your glasses together in a toast, drinking one anothers' mix of flavors.
Adopting some new plants with Gepard. Trying to get a nice flower to take care of together. Placing it in a nice flowerbed with some ferilizer, and watering them thoroughly. You'll have to teach him some tips and tricks to gardening. Or maybe you're learning alongside him too. Either way, it'll be fun taking care of a little plant baby together, don't you think?
Napping with General Jing Yuan at work. Sneakily giving him an excuse to slack off for a bit. They wouldn't dare disturb your slumber, would they? How cruel of them if they tried. Inhaling your scent as he buries his head into the crook of your neck. Drifting further into sleep in the comfort of your arms.
Watching Luka as he trains for his next match at the Fight Club. A moment just for the two of you to spend together. You motivating him to keep going and get stronger. To win even more battles. He couldn't do it without you.
Walking around the different stalls the Luofu offered with Luocha. Buying a few things from some merchants just for you. Away from any prying eyes, in a world made for just the two of you.
Carrying a few supplies for Natasha's clinic with Sampo. Being able to help the Underworld with him being an enjoyable task. Especially with him, who wouldn't be entertained by his presence? You knew you definitely were.
Having afternoon tea with Sunday. Away from the responsibilities of being the head of the Oak Family. Just a small quiet moment between the you and the halovian. Some sugar cookies going along with the drinks. He can't help but feel much better with you.
Sitting in the Astral Express carriage with Welt. Watching the stars fly by, the meteors go past the windows. Maybe looking up at the light shaped like a whale, reaching out for it while you lay your head on his lap. It was nice spending mundane moments with him, alongside the more fun and action-filed ones.
⪠I think having some quality time with them is nice :)
Masterlist || Do not repost nor feed to AI. Reblogs & Comments are much appreciated.
#005. writings.#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#argenti x reader#argenti#aventurine x reader#aventurine#blade x reader#boothill x reader#caelus x reader#caelus#dan heng x reader#dan heng#dan heng imbibitor lunae#dr ratio#dr ratio x reader#gallagher x reader#gepard x reader#jing yuan x reader#luka x reader#luocha x reader#sampo x reader#sunday x reader#welt x reader#hsr sunday#hsr blade#hsr boothill
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Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!
I love your fics- if this isnât getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and Iâll request something different <3
𦷠anon
Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]
In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.
One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping
Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you
Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts
The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar
Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else
The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe
On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look
But this time, the guy would just not get the hint
" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "
Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly
Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand
That's when the bleeding starts
You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door
Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot
You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake
A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen
But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch
Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak
It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone
The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed
Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh
" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "
That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon
" I'm only worth one finger? "
" Nah. Just being generous for once. "
Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked
Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off
He usually goes for the latter
He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'
You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles
Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended
During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip
" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "
Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms
" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "
Jealousy 3000
He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees
New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy
Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry đŠ
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#mammon#mammon x reader#vox#vox x reader#husk#husk x reader
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rickenbacker (p.sh)
synopsis: sunghoon wants to get his hands on the popular indie band's guitarist at his uni. might come with some sacrifices though.
or the one where sunghoon betrays his friend for pussy (deserved!)
genre: smut, pw minimal plot.
characters: guitarist!reader, loser!sunghoon, mean!hyung line
wc: 3.6k
(content under cut)
content: bullying, homie hopping, betrayal, slight voyerism if u squint, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, sunghoon doesnât believe in pulling out, dirty talking, minimal plot, etc etc
sunghoon first sees you at your university's summer festival.Â
he meets you three weeks later when youre accompanied by heeseung. not exactly on his arm, but its rare to see him with a girl he hasn't slept with.Â
sunghoon develops his newfound attraction to you then. when he sees you off stage, away from the big lights and loud music played by your guitar. sure you were pretty up there too, but up close, god. he can feel his heart thump in his chest the moment you step inside the room with your bandmates.Â
he's heard the rumours, that the all-woman band in his university has a knack for attaching themselves to one male friend group a month. thanks to heeseung, he guesses, it's their turn now.Â
there's four of them, and only one of you. plus the two other girls you came in with, who seem to have drifted right over to Jay and Jake. it doesn't bother him, really. he can pay way more attention to you without having to entertain some girls. he's quickly pulled from it though, when heeseung nudges him with his foot, "Dude, get the beers."Â
It's embarrassing when you snicker, vampishly nudging his shoulder with an overly drawn out "Don't be so mean, hee." after sunghoon finally makes himself useful.Â
He sets the cans on the table, watching as multiple hands reach out to grab them until the table is cleared. "You don't drink?" Your voice rings in his ears, coated with disappointment as you watch him shake his head. "He's always been like that, don't mind him."
.....
Sunghoon knows he shouldn't be letting the six of you treat him like this. making him store-run with his own money, ordering him around, expecting him to buy dinner everytime the seven of you go out.Â
he only does it so he can glimpse at you every now and again. wants to get the most out of these last two weeks he probably has with you before you run off with another group of guys. even when he catches you talking about exactly who that next group is.Â
You sent him out to buy you a pack of cigarettes just down the block as the other five bullshit around at the bar. He finds you outside, cigarette tucked between two fingers adorned with white nails. "Thanks, hoon" you really have to admit, this is a new dynamic. whenever you and your bandmates attach to a group of guys that outnumber you, the ones who aren't picked seem to fuck off.Â
sunghoon either doesnt care, or enjoys being the groups water boy. either way, it's fucking weird having him constantly hovering around. "Sit next to me." You invite, scooting over and patting the area beside you. Of course he listens, sitting without a word.
you have to admit, you haven't heard him say anything other then small phrases. you don't even know if he's able to hold a conversation if you tried.Â
"you're pretty quiet...are you always like this?"
That feels like a knife in the chest. he so badly wants to say no, that it's only like this because the six of you are too busy obsessing over each other to know he's even there. but he knows that's not true. he knows he's heard that too many times for it to not be true. "Yeah, kinda." It leaves him in a mumble, prompting you to shift your body to his to hear him better. over the sound of music from the bar and the sound of cars zooming by.Â
"I've got another friend, do you want to meet her?"Â
you don't mean harm by it, you're just curious if this is actually how he is, or if he's only acting this way because his friends are excluding him. which, you are too, but you can only handle one guy at a time. based off experience.Â
"I'm fine, thanks." it's another mumble you can barely make out, but you know he's declining by the way he doesnt even look at you.Â
he'd have a greater chance at being picked if he took those glasses off, put some bass in his voice and told his friends "no" once in awhile.Â
you quickly decide it isn't your job to fix this man, and decide to leave to the next girl who comes around. hopefully she comes quickly enough for him to enjoy his youth. "I'll see you inside."
that leaves sunghoon with his thoughts. with the realisation that his first and likely last conversation with you went to shit just because he can't communicate properly.Â
he can't help that you intimidate him. maybe its the fact that he knows that youre unreachable despite almost always being a few feet away from him. you're the same on and off stage, too high for him to reach. too pretty to even think of him the same way you think of heeseung.Â
"Fuck!" it all settles into anger, resulting in an outburst louder than he'd like. it takes him a few minutes before he decides to join the group, eyes settling on you and heeseung tucked away in a booth together.Â
.....
youre not sure what exactly made you change your mind.Â
Maybe the fact that heeseung is boring the shit out of you, his head sucks, he doesn't really care about getting you off, or maybe sunghoon is just that much more interesting because of heeseungs recent performance.Â
maybe its the fact that sunghoon isn't one of the men screaming and shouting so loud you can barely hear the notes from your own guitar. the fact that he's tucked behind heeseung in the crowd, though his eyes are still seemingly stuck on you. doesnt even seem like he's listening, he's just staring. observing from afar.Â
two nights ago is what really solidified it for you. when heeseung rolled over after cumming once. without even thinking about trying to get you off, even when you pulled the "im gonna cum" line to get him to keep going. it wasn't hard to begin thinking about someone else. thinking about the boy who doesnt say much, barely says anything at all. is completely unreadable, and has no people skills whatsoever.
you haven't said much to heeseung. short texts since then. instead you've made plans to see sunghoon. away from his friend group.Â
sunghoon is too thrilled to receive a text from you that Friday night almost immediately after your performance.he's supposed to be running to the store for heeseung, grabbing beers and shit for the guys- what the fuck ever. they're gonna turn into a beer if they keep drinking like that.
he doesnt even think twice. you don't even think twice, sending the location of your studio before he can even respond.Â
it takes him virtually no time to wander off, shoving away Jay when he tells him he's going in the absolute wrong direction. that the store is that way, not that way. his eyes darting around to find the building your studio is inside of.Â
its not hard for him to find a door with the name of your band plastered right in-front of it. unlocked.Â
you're tucked against the wall when he comes in, those same prettily manicured hands that often hold a cigarette, strumming at the strings of your blue guitar that sits on your lap. still in the same outfit you wore onstage, making this all the more surreal.Â
the soft click of the door is what pulls you from it. "Lock it, yeah?" Sunghoon can barely hear you over the loud thumping in his chest, still he manages to do just that. awaiting another order from you. "You can sit. There." the way he moves is awkward, eyes moving around the room, looking at anything but you once he finally sits.Â
you move your guitar from your lap, joining sunghoon on the leather couch. so close your shoulder brushes against his. "Did you like it? the song, I mean..."
sunghoon only nods, eyes still avoiding yours. "You can talk to me, you know. I don't bite..." he doesn't shy away when you reach out to touch his arm.Â
usually a guy would gush about how sexy you look on stage, ask to touch your guitar, ask you to teach them a few chords. you don't expect him to fall for the bait, nor notice your attempts at flirting.Â
your only other option is to not beat around the bush, tell him exactly what you what from him. "I called you here 'cause I wanted to tell you liked you, hoonie." wasn't at all what he was expecting to hear from you next, not when its well known that you're with heeseung.Â
"You like me too, right? that's why you stick around even though you don't have to." you have no evidence to back this up, might even be super far fetched, but its worth a try. "Yeah, but, you've got heeseung." not too far fetched it seems, "But I want you, hoon." you quickly shake your head,   leaning your upper body against his shoulder.Â
sunghoons got a million things going through his head at once. the fact that if he does anything with you he'd be betraying a long time friend, him being so incredibly turned on beyond belief just because you've got your tits in his hands, almost. the visual of you leaning in to kiss him right now, not knowing whether or not to kiss you back or push you away when you finally do.Â
you think he's going to. going to push you away and take the side of his friend that wouldnt think twice about doing this with you if the roles were reversed. he's continuously proved you wrong though, wrapping his arms right around your waist.Â
he'd be absolutely stupid to not kiss you back. he can't believe he even thought about rejecting you. cant believe he thought about sparing heeseungs feelings.Â
the incessant ringing in his pocket forces you two away, a soft "Sorry..." leaving him as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.Â
speak of the devil.Â
"What the fuck, you left thirty minutes ago dude!", "hurry the fuck up, seriously."Â
you can't stand to hear that asshole yelling at him over the phone. he thinks he's hot shit just because he's the oldest and they all listen to whatever he asks. "Don't let him talk to you like that, hoonie..." It's low enough for sunghoon to hear only, "stick up for yourself, hm?"
Sunghoon would rather shoot himself in the foot than look like a fucking loser infront of you. your hand rubs encouraging circles against his chest, head resting on his shoulder. "Get it yourself. I'm busy." he makes sure it's firm, just so you know that he is standing up for himself. "What?! No, I told you to do it. that means do it now. not when you feel like it."Â
"You didnt fucking hear me? I said I'm busy. Tell Jay to get off his ass and do it for you." you can't lie, that sounds so hot coming from him. it puts a smile on your face, only because you knew he had it in him. even if it did take a little encouragement from you. "Hang up." this time you make sure your words are loud enough to go through that speaker, making sure heeseung hears you.Â
"Who are you with?"
With heeseung in his ear, and you practically on his lap and pressing kisses against his cheek, it's clear he needs to get off the phone. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fucking business." it's just as harsh as his words before, and yet all heeseung can say is "Who the fuck are you with, sunghoon?!"Â
he knows exactly who he's with. that goes without saying, especially when you whine a "Pay attention to me, hoon..."Â right. into. the mic.Â
you both can hear heeseung go absolutely ballistic as you push the phone away from sunghoon's ear, cupping his face so you can finally get back to kissing him. you're sure heeseung got a earful of heavy breaths and kisses before you finally make sure the call disconnects.Â
Sunghoons new found confidence comes with a bit of dominance to it seems, leading the kiss even when you straddle him and immediately grind against him. his hands instinctively move to hold your hips, only cause he wants to seriously focus on kissing you for awhile. wants to enjoy the taste of your lipgloss after he pushes his tongue past your lips.Â
neither of you can really do that though, not when you're both pulling at each others clothing at the same time. you want his pants off to see what he's working with, and he wants a tit in his mouth. your hands are constantly fumbling around each other, so much that you pull away with a laugh. you quickly pull your shirt off, tossing it to the side.Â
he's got an eyeful of your tits in your cheetah print bra, and an even bigger one when you reach behind your back to take it off. he's practically drooling, mouth hung open, focused right on the metal that runs through each nipple.Â
"holy shit."Â
he nearly cums right then and there. maybe he does, he's not too sure, wouldnt be surprised if he did. especially because when he does get a tit in his mouth, its absolutely euphoric. coldness of the metal pressed right against his tongue, grazing his teeth. your other tit sits perfectly in his hand that's switching between groping, and tugging right on your sensitive nipple.
your hands are fumbling under his shirt, trying to unbuckle his belt so you can stick hand in his pants just to cop a feel. a soft "Can I eat you out?" stops you. how can you ever say no to such a request?
You nearly fall trying to get off of him quickly so he can find a spot between your legs. suddenly the size of his dick doesnt matter, as long as he's good at this. which, he quickly proves that he is. doesnt even bother taking off your panties, nor your skirt for that matter. he just flips it up and pushes your panties to the side.
your jaw falls open, hands immediately reaching for the head between your legs. the feeling his tongue brings is pure bliss. he knows exactly where the clit is, when to switch from licking to sucking, when to push two fingers inside and- "Fuck!" he's just barely started, yet you're already this much of a mess.Â
its not his fault he can't stop mouthing away at your cunt, moaning each time his tongue flicks against your clit. you just taste so good, no matter how much he licks away at you, it isn't nearly enough to satiate him. he has to pull away, take those damned glasses off his face so he can bury himself deeper between your legs.Â
His fingers plunging in and out of you to match the rhythm and speed of his tongue only tighten that coil in your stomach. if he manages to make you cum from this, you'll be keeping him a lot longer than usual. especially because he seems to be enjoying this just as much as you do. moaning each time your hands tug on his hair and you grind against his lips.Â
You're unable to stop the plethora of sounds that leave you with each flick of his tongue and movement of his fingers. it's no surprise that you're just minutes away from succumbing to your orgasm."Don't stop!" Sunghoon doesn't dare think of stopping, keeps his pace steady as he eases that orgasm right from you. his eyes lock right on your face, watching as your brows furrow and your face contorts beautifully after your "I'm cumming!" he eats you through it and then some, until you stop squirming, and your grip loosens on his hair.Â
You genuinely believe you've seen god, that he told you to never ever settle for anything other than this. Sunghoon emerging from your legs with the same fingers that were previously inside of you now tucked between his lips, makes you wonder if he's god with the way he just sucked your soul right out of you.
you watch as he undresses himself. unveiling a surprisingly built figure you didn't know he had. and the fact that he's hung on top of all that. can't deny, you can't wait to figure out of he's as good with his dick as he is his mouth.Â
neither of you think twice about a condom, not when he climbs on top of you and kisses you again. you'd be fine with just this, honestly. just kissing him all night. "Ready?"
you think its really cute that he asks, not saying the bar is in hell, but its still a nice gesture. you smile up at him, a soft "yeah" and a head nod is all it takes. he shoves a hand between your bodies, lining himself up with your entrance.
you wince as he slides in, sunghoon watching intensely for any other obvious signs of discomfort. his jaw falls open, forehead pressed against yours once he finally bottoms out. he gives you a second before his hips retract and slow meet yours once again. you're relieved he doesnt immediately begin to pounce on you, as this is enough to have you clawing at his forearms.Â
youre just so tight, sucking him right back in anytime he pulls away. the constant clenching and trembling of your walls around him is enough to have him cum just from these very soft and cautious movements of his.
his lips find yours again, kissing through the next few thrusts in which he goes impossibly deeper, and quicker. "Fuck, you're so wet..." those words force a moan out of you that you didnt know you were holding. "Pussy's creamin' already." so not only does he know exactly what he's doing, he's talking you through it too.Â
you'd be satisfied if today was your last day on earth. if you died right here, right after hearing those words leave his mouth. you had no idea he had all this in him. that he was even the type, honestly. you know what they say about the quiet ones though.
you don't even have to tell him faster, its like he's reading your fucking mind. like he's became one with you so he knows exactly what to do and when to do it. its the first time you haven't had to coach a man through the entire thing. that is, if you want to get off. you'll be damned if you let this one get away.Â
"holy shit" he moans above you, forcing your legs over his shoulders so he can fuck deeper. you cant squirm like this either, forcing you to lay and take every single inch he's giving you. it doesnt matter how hard you push at his hips so he can take maybe an inch or two out of you, he's unrelenting.Â
"Hoon!" you shout, hands grabbing at the soft leather below you one you realize he's not stopping anytime soon. his thrusts are quick and short, sharp. the sound of skin slapping, moans, and the like fill the studio. more vulgar words and praises leave him, only adding to the overwhelming pleasure youre receiving from him. "Gonna keep fucking this pussy open till you stop squirming."Â
to be loved is to be heard. to be loved is to be seen. to be loved is to be fucked. hard.Â
"Sunghoon!" your breath quickens, heart thumps in your chest when you realise he's almost fucked you into another orgasm. there's no need to say it, he knows after observing you just once.Â
" 's so big, 's too big!" you're either gonna cum so hard you pass out, or he's gonna split you right in half. either one. you'll be fine with both, really.Â
the fine details are irrelevant, what matters is the absolute euphoria your walls give. his balls are so heavy and full, aching to finally release a load. he's almost there, right with you. insisting, telling you that you're gonna keep taking him until you finish. not before.Â
"Hoon, i'm-" it's incredible when you finally do. your walls contract so hard, your body convulses, a string of loudly drawn out sounds of ecstasy leave you before you're even able to tell him.Â
you swear you're ascending, cumming so hard you can't even hear sunghoon coax you through it. it's the first time you ever have tap out. having to beg him to stop for just a second. you're just so overwhelmed.Â
he does, kissing your chest soothingly, though not for long. he does give you a second. one second and then he's back at it again. chasing his own high. "I'm gonna cum. Holy shit."Â
his hips come to a hard halt. slamming into your hips one more time as he fucks his cum right into you. "Fuck!" it vocalizes in a jumble of moans, heavy breaths, and one tight grip on your hips.Â
he collapses ontop of you thereafter, pulling himself out of you with a hiss. his face nuzzles in your neck, leaving soft kisses there. it's almost no surprise that he's ready for round two minutes after. lifting himself off of you with a big dorky smile, and "Can we go again?"Â
heeseung hyung i'm gonna fuck you up for this.  11:42pm
#cinnasweetss#enhypen#smut#sunghoon#sunghoon x you#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon smut#park sunghoon#enha x reader#enha smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen smut#cinnasweetss: rickenbacker#fav#enhablr#divider by: animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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why do we have hands?
alt title: why do we have hands? (aventurine's version)
a/n: that one meme thingy idk how to describe it but hopefully u get the reference đ¤ uh there is like a good 40 days plus(?) until MY MAN COMES HOME live laugh love aventurine ,, also might possibly make dr ratio's version of this idk hes growing on me okay ,, who r we kidding I AM DOWN BAD FOR HIM AS WELL
why do we have hands? there are many reasons.
to pat the aventurine.
when aventurine is not at work or he doesnât feel like gambling for the day, his usual frivolous and fairly confident persona slips away. instead, he turns into this lazy cat-like person with the way he curls up beside you on the couch, head on your lap and face buried in your stomach. he doesnât say much (how can he? heâs literally in dreamland right now). however, he asks you of one thing; please do not stop running your fingers through his hair. it doesnât matter if heâs already snoring away, never take your hands off his head. you need to use your phone with two hands? well, too bad âcause now you have to type with one hand for the next three hours.Â
to hold the aventurine.
aventurine has to travel a lot for his work. typically, his business trips would lasts between four days or two weeks. but this one is just taking too much of his time. it has been four months, two weeks, six days and seventeen hours since he last saw you. the phone calls and texts doesnât do your presence any justice. aventurineâs pretty sure heâs slowly going insane and another minute without you will might as well be his 13th reason. so what does he do the moment he kicks down the door of your shared home? drags you to bed and drops all of his weight on you. he sighs and relaxes, the tension leaving his body when he feels you wrap your arms around him.
to cherish the aventurine.
with no work on his itinerary, aventurine wakes up early and gets out of bed before you. he then sneaks away to the kitchen after fixing the blanket around you and leaving a lingering kiss on your forehead. an hour later, as heâs waiting for the coffee, he feels your cheek against his shoulder, soft voice of yours mumbling a morning greeting. a nice breakfast is already set up on the table. as heâs pouring the coffee to your respective mugs, aventurine hums in content as you went to peck his cheek in gratitude (âthanks for breakfast.â)
to forfeit all mortal possessions to aventurine.
itâs either heâs really skilled in gambling or heâs just got an insane amount of luck but aventurine tends to win most poker games he participates in. that being said, his bank account is loaded. he doesnât have to worry about spending too much, he can practically buy you anything youâd want without looking at the price tags. but when it comes to you buying him something, aventurine becomes speechless. he just stares and stands, not knowing what to do or say, as you hand him a trinket you bought after it reminded you of him. this happens every time you come home from an errand. it has reached the point where he has to tell you that yes, he likes and appreciates all the gifts you give, but please stop spending your money because heâs the one who should be spoiling you and not the other way around.
likes and reblogs are appreciated! masterlist
#tim writes.#hsr x reader#hsr#honkai star rail fluff#honkai x reader#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail aventurine#aventurine x you#aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventurine honkai star rail#hsr x you#aventurine fluff
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Doom of Ghis (Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader)
Summary: You decide to trick a Queen. It doesnât quite go according to plan.
Warnings: Smut. Corruption kink. Twisting of religious rituals. Dubious consent? Fingering. Playing doctor.
A/N: I am tired of writing older man x younger woman. Meet older woman x younger woman. Palate cleanser in the middle of writing a new character. Also, I miss writing girls.
âTHIS IS NOT a task fit for a Queen.â Rhaenyra looks at Corlys with narrowed eyes. Her annoyance at her own council has begun to build like a sore, and threatens to explode at any given moment.
Presently, it canât. It would be in poor taste to do during dinner. Lord Corlys has asked her if they could sup in her quarters, to discuss a private matter. She had been expecting war preparations, not this.
âYet it is a task we require of you.â Her Hand answers, unintimidated by her glare. Rhaenyra reminds herself it is a good thing, not to be feared. She wishes to be a wise Queen, one who is remembered as a champion of peace and not as the next Maegor the Cruel. She wants to be exactly like her father. Viserys the Peaceful.
Viserys the Peaceful never throttled his Hand. And his was much more irritating than hers.
âWhy canât we just⌠Forgone the custom?â She asks him, crossing her arms over her chest.
âThe House of Pahl is already offended by the offer we made them. Marrying one of their daughters, even if it is one of the ones from the second son, to a bastard is an insult. Not having Graces present for the ritual is, too. We cannot afford to offend them any further.â
âCanât Baela do it?â It sounds childish even to her ears. Rhaenyra isnât quite sure why she feels so awkward about the ritual, itâs hardly as if she will see something she is unfamiliar with herself. She bets the girl will be more awkward than her, and the thought of having to soothe her seems unappealing. âOr Lady Mysaria?â
âBoth of them are quite busy with their duties.â Lord Corlys takes a second to drink from his goblet. It stings, the unspoken fact that Rhaenyra is not. âThe Lady Mysaria would provide greater offense, considering her⌠Previous occupation and lack of relationship to me. As for Baela, I do not feel prudent to recall her from her patrols.â
âMy own kinship to you is fairly removed.â Rhaenyra cuts a piece of venison and takes her time chewing. When a Queen wishes to speak, men wait. And it is important to remember her Hand of that fact, especially since he is asking favors. âI am, what? Your second niece? And only through marriage.â
âThey feel honored that a Queen will perform the ritual for their daughter. And we need their coin.â
âSlaverâs coin.â
âCoin that will win us the war.â Lord Corlys interjects. âThat will buy men. Armor. Weapons. Food.â
Rhaenyra doesnât answer. She simply cuts another piece of venison.
YOU SIT ON the table, legs hanging off the edge. A fire is lit, and a tea set is already prepared on another low table, along with cushions. A small, dragonglass dome, covers the cakes the Queen and you will share. The message is clear. Your family expects the ritual to go without a hitch.
You arenât too sure. This Queen you will meet, who will take the place of your elder because your betrothed has no suitable relative to do so, isnât Ghiscari like you. She is Valyrian. You hate Valyrians.
Cloaked in your pink veil, and wearing your simplest white shift, you await her arrival. You remember your motherâs words. Befriend her. Let her use you and touch you as she pleases. Do not try to instruct her to perform the ritual the right way.
What your mother suggests, simply put, is to see if she can be seduced while being convinced she is the one doing the seducing. Her friendship could give House of Pahl an even greater advantage that you will be getting after you become Lady of the Tides.
Not only control over a fleet that can block trade routes by marrying a Valyrian bastard. Friendship to a Queen. Lover to one. A whispered word in her ear and your wishes shall be law if you play your cards right.
There is no shame in it, your father had said, when they had instructed you as to how to behave. The Red Graces and White Graces do the same and their blood is as noble as yours. They serve the Gods of Old Ghis by providing pleasure to many men. What is asked of you is to only pleasure a single woman.
A single woman who is Valyrian. Whose ancestors burned Old Ghis, and forced yours to flee to Mereen.
Itâs not that you object to the fact that it is a woman. You object to Valyrians. They are ugly little things, with queer facial features and skin and hair too pale.
But the woman who enters the room is anything but. She is beautiful, dressed in a black gown that makes her look regal. She has a sweet face, and her distasteful colorless hair is pulled back. It looks less offensive that way, you suppose.
âYour radiance.â You address, lowering yourself from the table you sit in and curtsying. The title has never felt more apt. Her face is beautiful despite her age, and her body shapely.
âGood morrow.â The Queen says. Her voice is delightful too, strong and commanding, with a feminine quality to it. Seducing her now doesnât seem like much of a chore. âWe use the title of Your Grace here.â
âYour Grace.â You rectify, and give her another curtsy. Underneath your veil, you are giving her an apologetic smile. She cannot see it.
You wonder what she thinks of you, cloaked in a soft pink veil that covers both your hair and face. Thanks to the artfully draped pleats, she cannot see you, but you can see her.
She probably thinks you look like a strawberry dipped in clotted cream. You cannot wait to marry and use the Velaryon colors. They look much more dignified than yours.
âI was explained by your Lord Father that I will become your elder after this ritual.â She says, voice full of gravitas. âSo there is no need for you to curtsy so much. I hope to become a mother to you.â
âOf course, Your Grace.â You are thankful she cannot see your face, or you would burst out laughing. Itâs what is supposed to happen, yet you are not counting on it. âI am sure you are a busy woman. We should begin soon.â
You sit yourself on the table again, feet dangling. The table is the perfect height for bending you over it, but you do not comment on it.
ââŚI⌠Of course.â The Queen seems taken aback by how straightforward you are, which makes you smile.
You wait for her to come to you. She hesitates, as if unsure of herself, before coming to stand between your parted legs.
Slowly, her hands pull your veil back. You school your expression into one of quiet dutifulness.
Rhaenyra gasps slightly when she sees your face. You do not allow your face to change, but internally, you are dancing a gig. The veil had been a stroke of brilliance on your fatherâs part. He always said the best part of worshiping a Red Grace was the reveal.
âYou are a beautiful young woman.â She says, starting to map out your features with her fingertips. Her touch is soft, as if scared of hurting you. You play the part of the blushing maiden, letting out a gasp of your own when she traces your lips. Her eyes darken. âAlyn is a very lucky man.â
This Alyn is an accomplished sailor, you hear, and on the fast track to become a Captain. His recent acknowledging by Lord Corlys only propels him higher. You have heard the men admired him from starting from below, unlike other Lordâs bastards.
Itâs not a bad prospect. Any man can give you children, you know. Itâs not a difficult task. Not every man can give you a fleet.
âAnd I am very lucky to be marrying him.â You say, after a while. Rhaenyraâs hands have stayed where they are, lingering on your jaw. She doesnât dare move further down. Her eyes are focused on your lips, as if noticing how intimate the embrace the two of you are in.
Her hands, holding your jaw. Her hips, nestled in the space made by your spread legs.
She goes back to tracing your lips with her thumb, a storm brewing in her eyes. She is confused, this Queen of yours. The intimacy is getting to her, but her morals are holding her back. Rhaenyra is not supposed to take advantage of a maiden she is supposed to welcome as her daughter.
You decide to push her a bit. You take her thumb inside your mouth, cradling it softly in your tongue. Her eyes dart to yours, but you close them, as if delighted by what you are savoring.
Rhaenyra pulls back.
âWhat are you doing?â She snaps at you. Your eyes open, but your lips remain tantalizingly parted still.
âYou are meant to inspect me wholly.â You try your best to sound shy. âEven inside. My mother saidâŚâ
Guilt passes once again over her features. You are a poor naive girl, who doesnât feel anything like arousal. She is the one getting a sick satisfaction over a sacred ritual.
Itâs not the truth, of course. But it is what she believes.
She slips her thumb inside your mouth again. You close your eyes, scrunching them tightly. Feigning embarrassment once more. Her thumb presses down on your tongue, drawing a line. It makes drool begin to gather at the corners of your mouth.
As Rhaenyra checks your molars with a careful press of her fingers, warmth begins to accumulate in your core. You open your eyes, looking at her.
She seems absorbed by the task. The Queen barely notices you are holding her gaze, fascinated by your warm mouth. She removes her thumb, wiping it on your chin.
Her hands trail lower. Down your jaw, and to your neck. She keeps her touch light, making you squirm. Everywhere she touches, a trail of goosebumps follows.
âShh, sweet girl. You are doing so well.â She rubs your shoulder, probably thinking you shake from nervousness and not from pure, sheer want. âSo well for your Queen.â
You feel your flower growing slick with her words. You worry if that will give you away when she reaches that part of the examination. Rhaenyra might yet discover that you are not as innocent as you pretend to be. It only makes you wetter.
Would she punish you if she found out? Pinch your little pearl until you cried? Spank your rear?
Her hands slip the straps of your shift down your shoulders. You are left bare in front of her.
Your nipples are pebbled. They have been since she started touching you.
The Queen doesnât touch you there at first. Not where you need her the most. Instead, her hands trail over your shoulders, teasing you with promises of what is to come. She traces imaginary patterns, all the way to your forearms.
You fight the urge to whine. You just sit there, eyes on your lap, not attempting to cover yourself nor to help her, the picture of dutifulness.
She runs one of her fingers over a taut nipple. You hiss. She gives it a pinch, carefully observing your face. Perhaps wondering how far you will let her go.
You say nothing. She pinches the other one, gently. Then, she cups your breasts in her hands.
âA pretty pair, these.â Rhaenyra licks her lips. You wish she would wrap them around your nipples instead. She continues to give your breast soft caresses, squeezing from time to time. An amused smile appears on her face, when she sees how you twitch when she accidentally brushes your nipples.
âLay down, love.â She orders you, pushing your stomach. You obey her, laying flat on the table. A feast spread for a dragon.
Her hand lowers your shift even more, exposing your belly button. She touches under it, over your womb. She presses down on it, and you gasp.
The pressure feels odd. It feels good, too. Itâs not something you would have thought to do to yourself when playing on your own, but her hand feels scorching hot over your skin.
âHurts?â She asks you, softly.
âFeels strange.â You reply. âGood.â
Rhaenyra hums. Her hands pull your shift down fully, and take it from you. You close your legs tightly, embarrassed at how wet you are. Your father had ordered you to remove all your body hair before the ritual, so you are bare for her to observe. Completely.
âSpread your legs, sweet girl.â Itâs said with a frown. Her hand grazes your bare mound, puzzled by it.
You spread your legs. Your folds unstick with the motion, slick shining between your legs.
âItâs customary. To facilitate the checking of the womanly parts.â You offer her, suddenly embarrassed.
âI see.â Rhaenyra says, spreading your folds. It only makes your cunt leak more. She presses on your pearl with her thumb, almost playing with it. Her face is dark, eyes almost all pupils. No longer a queen, but a dragon.
She doesnât comment on your wetness, but swirls one of her fingers on it, before dragging it all the way to your pearl. Then, she presses a finger into your hole, checking your maidenhead.
You barely muffle your squeal.
âTell me.â She says, tone almost conversational, starting to rub circles on your pearl. âIs this customary, too?â
Your mind blanks. Your famous ability to talk your way out of almost everything fails you. She keeps rubbing maddening circles on your pearl, and when you do not answer, she slaps your flower.
You yowl like a kitten.
âAnswer your Queen.â She orders.
âNo, Your Grace. Itâs not.â You have your answer, you suppose. What would she do? Spank your flower. She does so again, making you tense. The pain feels strangely good, forcing blood to rush to the area, warming it. When Rhaenyra runs her fingers over your hole after, everything feels much more heightened.
âNaughty girl.â She scolds. âGet down from the table, and bend over it.â
You obey her, a bit breathless. Rhaenyra remains fully dressed, with a stern look in her face that makes you tremble. Your naked body is now on display, but under her heated gaze, you feel no shame.
You let your upper body hover slightly over the table, hips bent, your backside and flower on display. She pushes down on your shoulder, until your face and chest are squashed against the rough wood of the table.
The wood grains feel interesting against your nipples, making you squirm. You are not sure if the rough scrape is pleasant or not.
âDonât move.â Rhaenyra says, and spreads your cheeks open. You can feel your other hole winking at her, and she makes a pleased sound. She pushes a finger inside, and quickly retreats it when you tense.
âYou have such a sloppy cunt, sweet girl.â She says, voice almost impressed. âIt betrays your intentions so easily.â
She begins to torture your pearl once more. She presses inside, rubbing at something that makes your cunt gush.
Rhaenyra is relentless. You try to squirm, but her other hand is firm between your shoulder blades, keeping you pinned down and spread for her. Her motions get faster, touching you in the way you like best. Your peak comes fast and unannounced, making you let out a muffled yelp.
âI think I have to examine you again.â She says, coyly. âOnly to make sure.â
You cannot wait.
#rhaenyra targaryen x reader#rhaenyra x reader#rhaenyra x you#rhaenyra targaryen x you#rhaenyra targaryen smut#rhaenyra smut#queen rhaenyra x reader#queen rhaenyra#rhaenyra targaryen x oc#rhaenyra targaryen fanfic#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targeryan#rhaenyra#rhaenyra the cruel#rhaenyra targaryen x female oc#hotd#hotd x reader#asoiaf fanfic#asoiaf#asoiaf/got#hotd fanfic
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I was listening to 7 rings earlier and saw that post and my head immediately went to older bf suguru or satoru đ
why not both hehe
tags; older bf!satoru/suguru x female reader (seperately). age gap (reader early 20âs, them early 30âs). suggestive. cult leader suguru yum. reader is depicted as innocent. nicknames âprincess, sweetheartâ.
GOJO SATORU
âsatoru, are you. . sure? i mean itâs a lot of money and stuff,â you pout at your lover as he sits down on the comfortable chair in front of the fitting rooms. youâve tried out a couple things by nowâall which satoru has approved of. he recommends you to buy them all, but youâd feel guilty for agreeing. itâll cost him a fortune.
satoru chuckles and leans back, manspreading with his hands limply resting on his thighs. he looks you up and down without an ounce of shame, âmhm. iâm completely serious when iâm telling ya to get âem all, princess.â
your shopping bags are piling up more and more. satoru bought you all the things you said you liked. or if he thinks a piece of clothing suits you nicely, he takes the initiative to buy it. the older man doesnât look twice when handing the employee his black card.
âcâmere,â satoru gestures for you to come closer once the employee leaves to pack your purchases. he pulls you onto his lap the moment youâre close enough.
his hands run up and down your curvesâfeeling up the material of the dress youâre currently wearing. the sorcerer cannot wait until youâre home with him. heâll have you give him a special fashion show with all the pretty lingerie he bought you.
satoru grins at the thought. your little squirms and whines of being âtoo sensitiveâ makes him want to tease you even more. he doesnât care if heâs in public or if anyone sees you; youâre all he focuses on.
âi jusâ wanna spoil my sweet girlâtake care of her like she deserves,â the white-haired sorcerer whispers. a lingering kiss on your shoulder makes your breath hitch. he chuckles at your adorable reaction.
satoru holds you down on his thighs, hands firmly placed on your waist whilst he leaves kisses on your exposed skin. heâs got all the money and time in the worldâall which heâs spending on his lovely girl.
âeverything is yours. tell me what you want and iâll buy it for you, baby. thereâs no limit, âkay?â
GETO SUGURU
gentle fingers play with the strands of your hair. you lean into the touch, not really caring that people are staring right at you and your lover.
âyour hair looks gorgeous like this, sweetheart,â suguru smiles sweetly. his legs are trapping you against him. your back and his chest touchâyour head leaning on his shoulder. heâs completely got you under his spell with the way heâs holding you.
suguru had given you his card earlier and told you to spend it however you see fit. he would have gone shopping with you, though he unfortunately has to help a couple people who swear that theyâre cursed.
he was still busy when you returned from your little trip. you didnât want to bother him when he was working, but suguru excitedly invited you into the room once he spotted you. he wasted no time settling you on his lap and asking you all about your recent purchases.
âs-sir, could you please respond?â the shaky voice of a man snaps you out of your bubble. your gaze moves towards the poor citizen whoâs groveling before suguru, the clear presence of a curse gnawing at his back.
suguruâs sweet attitude drops the moment that lowlife interrupted his time with you. his eyes darken and his grip on your hand tightens, showing just how much heâs holding back from murdering that man in cold blood.
he doesnât want to scare youâno, heâd never kill someone in front of your eyes. he doesnât want to taint your innocence like that.
âsilence,â suguruâs sharp voice causes the man to shriek before he quiets down. a second passes before you feel your loverâs hand on your jaw, guiding your face back to his. the tender look in his eyes and the soft smile on his lips instantly returns.
suguruâs other hand slowly traces the diamond necklace around your neck, âwhere were we again. . . ah, yesâtell me what else you got, darling. i want to hear it all.â
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#jjk x you#gojo x you#geto x you#jjk fluff
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I THINK WE MARRIED IN VEGAS
⡠You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.
⡠genre: comedy (?), angst, smut (minors don't interact)
⡠word count: 28.244
⡠featuring: Yoon Ttoram, Choi Seungcheol, Lee Seokmin, Kim Mingyu as the unnamed satan-spit roommate one night stand, and Xu Minghao as the gothic impasto painter guy.Â
⡠theaâs note: hey yâall this is my longest fic yet so Iâm weirdly proud. I had fun writing this and trying to figure out how to build this Jeonghan and yes I did rewatched the birth of Ttoram while writing this. By the way - love you guys but the whole credit/debt/buying a house is just for plot I do not know how any of this works in America (and it is mainly set in America because I needed Vegas lol) <3 So bear with it. Also thanks to @wongyuuu for keeping me company in this nanowimo challenge, and thaks to @toruro Mika you are the best <3 thank you for reading thisÂ
⡠Smut warnings under the read more âˇ
⡠smut count: lost count of how many times Jeonghan thought he was going to cum on his pant, 1 dick sucked, teenagers level of horniness, non penetrative sex still sex, a lot of kissing, a 3 second of cumplay still a cumplay i guess.Â
"Should we do it?" you hear Jeonghan ask, his face focused on something outside the carâs window. The lights of all the neon signs dance on his face and featuresâlike a scene from a movie. He looks tired and overworked even though you are somewhat on vacation.
"Do what?" you ask, trying to understand what he meant. Maybe he was talking about a hotel spa and you missed the beginning of the sentence because you were too lost in your own thoughts? Yeah, a message would be a lifesaver right now.
"That," he says, pointing at one of the hundreds of little chapels in Las Vegas. This one has a deal sign in big and bold lettersâan Elvis Presley priest, a bouquet, a professional photographer, and a bottle of champagne for half the price. Well, you never thought about off-season in Vegas, but maybe business was a little rough at this time of the year, but to be quite honest that did seem like a great dealâthe shopaholic in you would fall for it if it didnât involve marriage.
"Are you drunk already?" you ask. Even though you have known the man for years, you still canât read Jeonghan properly.
Sometimes you think about how he is a book that is written in a different language, and you couldnât have access to him without a dictionary on the side. Jeonghan does look like a classicâhe is well put together, he is fancy, and he would be one of those books that have an embellished spineâthe prettiest book on your bookshelf. But at the same time, he is one of those books that need commentaries on every page because somehow the author didn't care about giving enough context or didn't think his work would survive so many years. And one that the storylines end up being totally fucked up, so basically a Russian classical.
"No, I'm painfully sober," Jeonghan says while leaning his head on the window of the car. It almost makes you laugh when you hear the loud sound of him bumping his head, even the Uber driver who didnât utter a word turns his head back. "It's just," he starts again, "I heard Seungcheol talking about it, and it seems nice to be married."
"What are you talking about?â you say in disbelief, âSeungcheol is not married yet, he is having a bachelor party in Vegas. He is drinking his weight in alcohol and spending the college tuition of his firstborn in the casino. You and him know about the same thing about marriage, which equals barely anything."
âYeah but he did talk about all the perksâOh thank you,â he notices that the Uber finally arrived at the hotel feat casino and all the Vegas shenanigans. Jeonghan holds the car door for you, like a true gentlemanâyou almost scoff. âWhat I was trying to say is, Seungcheol did talk to me about being married, it doesnât feel like a bad deal at all.â Again, he holds the door for you.
âSo we should just get married in Vegas because Seungcheol said it is a great deal?â you ask Jeonghan like he said the stupidest thing ever, which is partially true. It was one of the stupidest things heâd ever said to you, and youâve known the man for yearsâyouâve witnessed a fair amount of his stupidity, all laced with his all-knowing smile. Every time you tried to understand what he was talking about it always left you feeling like this man was insane.
âI mean? What would you lose?â Jeonghan asked, crossing his arms after pushing the elevator buttonsâone for your room, the other one so the door closes faster (he is one of those people).
âA lot?â you say almost laughing. What the fuck? It resonates in your mind, almost like the words are bumping the walls of your cranium, like the old Windows 98 screensaver logo.
âYeah? Like what?â Jeonghan asks and the ping of the elevator makes sure both of you know that it arrived before opening the door.
âFreedom,â you say, trying to stay normal and not succumb to Jeonghanâyou both hear someone saying,âHold!â across the hall. Jeonghan just smiles and clicks the button to close the door. Maniac really, without basic education. To be fair though, it was a frat dude with another frat dude who could wait for the next elevator without dying, but still.
âCome on, you are a book editor. You love everything that has nothing to do with freedom, you love rules and everything that shackles you.â You scoff hearing Jeonghanâs words.
You want to argue, you want to kick and scream and pick a fight because is he basically calling you boring right? He is totally calling you the most boring person heâs ever met, and you are in Vegas - and still, somehow, you are the boring girl. But he is right about itâyou do not leave your comfort zone, you do not do crazy very well, and you donât even drink that much because losing control of situations makes you slightly insane. And Jeonghan is right because he is one of your closest friends, and you talked about it with him, he even knows how this is a recurrent topic in your therapy. Asshole.
âWell, still donât give me the urge to marry you, your sales points are awfulâhow do you hold your job?â You ask side eyeing your friend, well, if you wanted to marry someone calling them boring is not the right way to do it.
âI do a better job when I need to sell to investors, Iâm not giving my all right now since you are not paying me,â Jeonghan says, leaving the elevator and looking back at you. Well, not giving your all when you are asking someone for marriage - number two mistake.
âIâd hope so, otherwise your name would be number one in the next layoff,â you say rolling your eyes.
âCome on,â Jeonghan scoffs. âYou didnât hear Seungcheol talking about the benefits," he says, opening the door to your shared hotel door. The deal was to sleep in a weird hotel that may have bedbugs or share a room and a bed with Jeonghan in a more upscale hotel whose bathroom didnât look like a crime scene. Not a difficult decision, to be quite honest.
âIs Seungcheol now a pro-marriage coach?â you ask, taking off your shoes and leaving your bag on the nearest chair.
âProbably, I mean, the side money would be crazy,â he says, taking off his watch and leaning against the table, again crossing his arms. âWhat I meant is did you ever think about the tax deduction, health insurance benefits, leave benefits? Also, Seungcheol did remind me that the bank raises the chance of getting approved credits if the spouse has a great credit history.âÂ
âYet he is the one marrying because he loves his girlfriend,â you remind Jeonghan, because apparently he is forgetting one the key ingredients of marriage in contemporary societies - love, affection, and a dose of âI love you but leaving with you every time you forget the toothpaste open is making me thinking about how life in hell would look like.â
âRight,â Jeonghan scoffs, making you even more curious.
âWhat would you need credits for?â you ask. Jeonghan is an unmarried and childless man, who works on investments, travels twice a year, and has a car. You on the other hand work in a crumbling industry - books, who reads books? - donât travel a lot and your car is like twelve years old.
âMarry me and I tell you,â Jeonghan answered without letting the ball drop, quick on his feet like always, you could never catch this man.
âTell me and I will think about it,â You try to pry.
âA house.â He says earnestly.
Again - you know Jeonghan, and you know your friend is a lunatic, but you also know when he is being completely honest with you. The man did want that house, which was completely weird. Jeonghan was a city guy, he was living in a rented apartment sure, but it was a great apartment, it even had a view. He worked downtown, why would he need a house?
âA house?â You try again, trying to get more details of what the heck is making your friend go crazy out of a sudden.
âYeah, a house.â He says shrugging like it is the most common thing ever, maybe it is a well-known scheme of marrying for taxes and credits that you donât know, maybe you are late. Maybe you are outdated putting together marriage and love in the same sentence, maybe, the world has changed. âWill you marry me?â Jeonghan asks you in his dullest voice ever like he is tired and completely bored.
âNo.â You deadpan.
âCome on, at least pretend that you are thinking about it,â Jeonghan says, lying on the bed horizontally, his face is now closer to you and his legs are too big so they hang out of the bed, like a kid almost. âIt has four bedrooms so you can move and say fuck you to Laurel the accountability girl.â
Well, that makes you think about it. He should have started with that. Maybe if he just proposed a new roommate scheme you wouldâve said yes in the uber.
âI don't hate her that much,â you lied through your teeth, you hated that girl. You blamed the real state crisis because the rent was crazy, sharing the apartment was a good deal on paper, and half of the rent money went to your savings account so you could live in peace - Jeonghan actually advised you on how to save and where to invest if you wanted to retire quickly, but you never really thought about buying shares and selling shares and the whole ordeal.
âFuck you,â He laughs, âevery week I have to hear you complain how she lets food go bad and how it leaves your fridge stinky enough to make you almost puke, and that only happens when she doesn't food go bad on the kitchen counter or wait, do you remember when she forgets to lock the door two times last week?â
âWell, I am sorry if I have listened to true crimes podcast enough to be actually aware of the horrors of being a woman and how serial killers are out there just waiting for you to sleep with the fucking door open,â you say like you are the most reasonable person ever.
âAnd you are right, what I am saying is that I would lock the door so no one can enter the house, I would be a better roommate.â Â
âSure we do not have to marry to be roommates we can look for suitable places in our price range,â
âLook at this,â Yoon Jeonghan says, fiddling with his phone, âIt has four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, the kitchen is great, it has a backyard and a solarium.â
âFuck-â You say, sitting on the bed, your thigh close enough to his arm that you feel the warmth of his skin, âthatâs, that's crazy.âÂ
âI know,â he says turning on the bed and closing his hand on his stomach like he is dead, just staring at the ceiling, âThe price is not bad either, one of my clients is trying to sell so he can invest in a new startup so it is not actually in the market right now but will be in a few weeks so-â
âDid you try to get the loan?â You ask, finger still going on his phone looking at different pics of this completely perfect house. All the rooms were big, and with natural light - crazy. The Solarium looked like a thing out of this world. And you could see yourself living there, if you had enough money you could live the dream, but that house was just out of your price range. God, with that garden you could have a dog. Damn.
âI don't want to pay interest to a bank,â Jeonghan almost whines, because he knows how this whole thing works and how he would have to pay the loan and half of the loan because banks are greedy bastards.
âCan I have two bedrooms?â
âWhat do you need two bedrooms for?â Jeonghan asks, finally looking at you and dropping his i-am-almost-dead act.
âMy room, one office,â you explain. You know the office would be the one with two larger windows facing the garden. Oh what a joy - to build a life you would never live, it was indeed one of your favorite hobbies, maybe thatâs why you love books so much.
âOk, I guess. I can make something out of the basement.â Jeonghan replies nonchalantly making you laugh.
Maybe thatâs why you two were friends, you had a great time speaking nonsense to one another. You both just kept feeding into whatever fantasy you built, like reality could not touch everything. You and Jeonghan had this weird pattern of just sitting, eating and talking for hours and hours about whatever that had nothing to do with the truth. What would you do if you won the lottery? What would you do when you retire? What would you do if you woke up on a desert island? What would you do if your boss was imprisoned for embezzlement? Ok not the last one, scratch that, this one actually happened.
âI can give you 5% of the price tag, and we can share the loan if it matches my current rent price range, but we need to actually draft something with a lawyer later so we can only sell the house to ourselves, I donât trust you enough to buy this house without a lawyer on my side.â
âDude-â Jeonghan jerks on the bed, he sits and turns his body to face you. âWait, do you hate Laurel that much?â
âYoon Jeonghan, do you want a marriage to up your credit score or what? I paid my student loans in record time, the banks love me.âÂ
âI donât know if you are joking or not,â He tells you.Â
"Can you call room service?" You ask heading to the bathroom, while you tie your hair - like you are preparing yourself for a dire work task - maybe talk to a translator about a deadline, they are worse than writers, "I think we will need more alcohol."Â
"Wait," you hear Jeonghan's voice echo through the door, "are we actually gonna do it?"Â
You are joking.Â
And you know Jeonghan was too. With the years of knowing him, you knew that the majority of things that left Jeonghan's mouth had a shock value purpose. Induce distress first, we talk about truth later - or never. That made you 100% sure that you would never marry that man. You knew him enough - twelve years, since high school. He knew you as well - he knew all your teenage traumas, all of your romance fiasco, and he met all of your exes.Â
You would never, never, marry that man.
Right?
Oh fuck. Oh fuck.
When you open your eyes and the white ceiling greets you, you can hear yourself groaning almost involuntarily. Your head aches. You know you will regret everything that happened the night before, even though you don't know what actually happened, and what you need to hold yourself accountable for. But you know the taste of a life-changing hangover that has a side dish of regret and a cup of shame to go. But it couldnât possibly be so bad right?
Ok, maybe moving your body was not the very first thing to do. You try to open your eyes again. Well, at least you were in your own hotel room. Jeonghan is by your side, his arm across your stomach and somehow his face is near your armpit. You try to sniffle yourself, but so far doesn't like you are actually stinky. Your deodorant was doing a great job so far, maybe it actually has a 24-hour action or something like that.
You try to lift yourself up, sitting in the bed, head in hand because everything spins. Oh God help you. Besides the headache you feel sticky and sweaty, and all gross. You can't believe you didn't shower, and if you didn't shower you didn't take your makeup off, and if you didn't take your makeup off you totally threw your 43-day steak of doing your skincare routine. Fuck. Maybe you could just delete the app, or pretend that yesterday never happened. Deal with the blank day that screams how bad you fucked up was not an option though, it would never happen.
âWhat the fuck did we drink?â You hear Jeonghan's hoarse voice. You take the hands off your eyes, the clarity feels like punching your cornea and brain, and Jeonghan's state is not very different from yours, his shirt is open and ruffled, his arms are shielding his eyes from the light entering the room, his hair is messy and he looks like he needed four days of sleep.
âFuel? Petrol? Satan spit in a cup?â You answer dropping yourself on the bed again, every joint of your body aches. It is ridiculous how you feel trapped in a 90 years old body, and like that is not enough you feel nauseated beyond words. And every time you can feel and hear Jeonghan breathing it feels like it is piercing your skull, would be rude to ask your friend to stop breathing and just stay completely still? He would understand, right?
âDo you think room service can get us some painkillers?â He groans lifting himself up this time, âOr maybe a gun?â
âCan you call them? I think I will puke if I sit for more than half a minute,â you say, your hand going into your mouth as if it would actually help if the worst-case scenario happened.
âI think I can, the problem is that you need to get me the phone,â Jeonghan tells you groaning between words. His hand points to the object and there is no way in hell you are moving to get that, that would mean you getting up and turning and being alive altogether.
âI can't I told you I gonna puke,â you try to explain how serious your condition - also known as hangover - is.
âIt is by your side of the bed" He groans again and yet he sounds just like a petulant child, maybe it is a gift.
âI can't I will puke on the carpet it only makes things worse,â you try again, âor worse I can puke on the bed, you included in the radio of the vomit you know it splashes.â
âOk, stand still,â Jeonghan says, âdon't kick me, I'm doing it for both of usâ
And you do as you are told because being still right now is the only thing you can do - even moving your eyeballs seems too much right. So Jeonghan just dropped his body on top of yours, he is also sweaty, and he reeks of alcohol. Damn, he actually smells like gasoline. He picks up the phone and presses a few buttons. His body is still above yours, pressing into you.
âBe quick you are pressing my blade," you say after the surprise of having him against you fazes out.
âWhat the fuck do you need to pee or vomit? Ah yes, hello,â He says changing his voice in the middle of the sentence from something that says intimacy is a disease to his customer service voice without pausing, âhm do you guys have room service that includes painkillers?â He waits, nodding his head as he hears something before he remembers his on the telephone. âOh okay, thank you, can you send it? Oh yeah great, yes if you can do that, yes, pancakes, toasts with poached eggs and avocado, coffee hmmâ he thinks about it, looks at you, thinks about a second or two, and then adds, âCan you send us four cups of coffee? Thank you.â
Jeonghan finishes the call with a groan leaving his mouth, he places the phone on its holder. But when you think he will get himself off of you he only plops down, his body weight getting heavier. His bones poking your body, what the fuck he was doing with your elbow on your ribcage?
âJeonghan what the fuck-" You complain, trying to kick your legs in a vain attempt to make your friend move.
âI got us painkillers and food, let me recharge for a bit stop complaining,â Jeonghan says in a dead tone of voice, almost like he is dealing with a kid throwing some type of tantrum - the only thing is that, in this occasion, the child is you and somehow you want to kick his shin, because you are the one right in this situation, and you could totally just plop down in a mall disgusting floor if Yoon Jeonghan was your father too.
âYou are heavy!â You try again but somehow Jeonghan is stronger than you think and his body is still over yours like nothing is happening, maybe you are just dehydrated and fucking muscle-less, maybe the yoga wasnât doing much when you almost killed your liver.
âI am not,â Jeonghan says, now he is the one being the moody child in the supermarket, maybe he will go off without parental supervision. Oh wait, this was Yoon Jeonghan he actually did wander away when he was out about with his parent and ended up three blocks away just because he saw an ice cream truck. Jeonghan was the easiest kid to be kidnapped, you ask yourself how he ended up being safe and sound, and in one piece.
âJust because you are skinny it doesnât mean you arenât heavy.â You try again pushing on Jeonghan bony shoulder, even that is pointy. âbones are heavy too, get off of me!â
âYou kind of stink," Jeonghan says, his head still lodged in the space between your neck and shoulder.
âWell you asshole you are not better yourself, and you are stinky too and sticky like you showered in bear or something.â
âMaybe I did, I donât know I can't actually think,â He groans finally trying to lift himself up, âWe should shower,â he says sitting on the bed and looking down at you.
âYou go first,â both of you say at the same time
You end up going first. Mainly because you needed to pee and you think that once you are up you may as well just use the opportunity to shower otherwise you would just drop dead on the floor and never get up again - you will be stinky and gross forever. Also, you think that if hell breaks loose and Jeonghan actually pukes you at least already used the shower. Back in college, he puked on the sink because it was the closest thing to the door, or whatever poor excuse he came up with, and that scene still haunts you, because somehow the sink was clogged. Ew, you think, finishing peeing and wiping yourself up. You wash your hands and say thank you for your past self because your necessaire is splayed on the counter, you pick up your face wash and head to the shower. Ok, let's deal with it. You need to wash your hair too. You open the register, letting the water hit your foot in an attempt to get just the perfect temperature.
You close and open the registers a few times - to fix the temperature, but you not gonna lie, to make up your mind too. But when you let the water hit your face - in an almost drowning attempt, you know you made the right decision, shower first was the only option. You let the water wash away for a few minutes until you are ready to really start your shower. First step - wash your face. Well, you needed to buy a new face wash this one was in its last few stages of life, you close your eyes and start to rub against your skin, normal, until you few something slightly different on your hand - almost like scratching the skin, you open your eyes and you finally notice, a band on your finger.
You turn your hand and it finally hits you.
It is a ring.
With a big rock.
In your ring finger.
A big damn rock on your ring finger.
âYoon Jeonghanâ you scream in horror.
On the other side of that door, Jeonghan just hears you scream. He actually picks himself up in record time and room towards the bathroom, oh shit did you just fall and hit your head? Did you break the glass of the fancy hotel shower? Are you dying? So without thinking much Jeonghan opens the bathroom door and he just finds you - completely naked and seemly okay, just staring at your own hand.
âWhat happened?â He asks trying to catch his own breath, maybe he does need to start working out man, he didnât feel this horrible when he was hitting the gym after shifts, but also he didnât feel that great either the whole gym rat thing was not his ordeal.
âWhat did we do?â You ask still in complete horror, not even thinking about how this is the first time Yoon Jeonghan, your friend is seeing you completely naked. 10/10 would not recommend this experience. Not even to Laurel, her satan spit roommate.
âWhat? Are you going crazy? I thought you fell and opened your skull or something,â
You just look at Jeonghan, dead in his eyes, like the reality is worse than falling in the bathroom, opening your skull and calling the paramedics naked. You just turn your hand to him - like it is enough to make him understand what a dire situation it is. And you swear to god you can almost see the little flakes of light on the bathroom floor, the rock is big enough to shine across the room.
âDid you call me to show me your ring? Couldnât you wait until you put your clothes on?â Jeonghan asks leaning into the doorway.
âJeonghan did we-â you say but you feel your own throat closing around itself, it canât be right?
âHm?â he asks without a blink of an eye.
âOh we did, we totally did," you sighed, more to yourself than to Jeonghan.
âNo, you are not that crazy,â he claimed. What is that even was supposed to mean? He was crazy enough for it but you the two goody shoes wasnât?
âJeonghan check your bank receipt,â you demanded, trying to connect the dots in a way, trying to find a physical proof, maybe you just bought a way too expensive ring for yourself, or maybe it was just impulse buying.
Before you can move Jeonghan almost runs towards the room, you try your best to keep up with him but you are a little behind because for the first time, you actually are aware of how naked you are. You pick up the fluffy bathroom robe - yeah the fancy hotel had its perks.
âOh fuckâ you can hear Jeonghan before you can see him, his phone itâs on his lap, his head is on his head - he is a man defeated.
âDid we?â You try to probe, but your voice sounds weird in your own ears - almost small, and the reality hits you, you are kinda scared. The reality of maybe having fucked up hits you like a trunk, you always been a nice girl, you never fucked up - at least not that bad, what would you mean if you married on a drunk whim?
âI think,â Jeonghan says, his hand on his greasy hair, fuck he needed a shower. âI think we fucked up real bad.â
You sit beside Jeonghan, you both staring at the wall ahead of you in disbelief. You are still gross, but now your damp hair is actually dropping on the bed and you canât bring yourself to care. The fact that Jeonghan is motionless by your side without uttering a word is what freaks you out more. Jeonghan is not someone who is fazed so easily - his mouth is agape and his eyebrows furred, the âi-am-utterly-stressedâ Jeonghan feature is what freaks you out really.
âOk Hannie,â you breathe softly. âThatâs what we are going to do, I am going to shower, then you are going to shower, we gonna eat breakfast, then we are going to return this ring, then we are going to call Joshua, he is a lawyer, right? He probably will know what to do.â
âJoshua is a real estate lawyer,â Jeonghan mutters without blinking.
âJeonghan focus!â You say getting out of bed, âdivorce is a thing we donât need to stay married.â
You take one of the longest showers in human history. You needed a good shower, but, the majority of the time under the shower you think about how the hell you got so drunk to marry Jeonghan. Some flashes of memory blink on the forefront of your mind every time you blink; a vegas chapel, not an Elvis but an Elton John in front of you, Jeonghan picking one of the most expensive ring in a fancy story. How the fuck fancy jewelry runs for twenty four hours?
Every flash comes with a sharp pain, the fucking headache.
When you get out of the bathroom the breakfast is already in the room. You take a bit of egg and toast just so you can shove coffee down your throat without having to deal with the stomach pain. You search the ring case and donât find anywhere, maybe it is safe on Jeonghanâs thing, maybe he kept it safe, or you hope so. When you sit on the bed you stare down the ring, it is a beautiful ring and you are pretty sure it is something Jeonghan chose, it is beautiful, but at the same time, it is just too much.
You need to return it, no doubt about it.
You try to take the ring one and somehow it doesnât even budge. You scoff, what a tricky little thing. So you try again, and again the thing doesnât move. You can feel the drop in your blood pressure, what the heck? You lost track of the time when Jeonghan opened the bathroom door and you looked at him in shock, you look down at your red and bloated finger.
âThis shit is stuck in my finger?â You say trying to take off one final time before just breaking your finger.
âWell, I think this is a good time to tell you,â he starts his voice all weird and over the place, âI kinda fucked up.â
âJeonghan we are apparently married I already know we fucked everything up.â
âNo, I-â Jeonghan begins, his hands now going through his washed hair, still wet and dripping on the floor, âI found a shred receipt and an invoice.â
âWhat the fuck?â You almost yell in pure knee-jerk reaction.
âI think it is yours now?â Jeonghan shrugs, like it is not a big deal even though you know that this ring is expensive, it must be, it has a giant rock and even though you know close to nothing about jewelry it looks expensive.
âWhat happened to us?â You question.
âYou ask me? You don't remember anything?" Jeonghan says sincerely, and you know it is true. Jeonghan was kind of a prankster, he kinda did push people to its limit, but part of it was just doing fun things but also harmless shit. Like entering the beach at night, or hiding someoneâs phone and pretending they did leave in the hotel so they can enjoy the trip without being bombarded by their special someone - read Seungcheol yesterday at lunch.
âCan we call Joshua?â
âI think we can do that later,â Jeonghan checks his watch, âI think it would be wiser just to show up to Seungcheolâs lunch and pretend that mini golf is fun, it would bring suspicious otherwise.â
âJeonghan we married we didnât commit a crime,â you say looking at him in disbelief.
âDo you want to deal with Seungcheolâs monologue about us getting married? I donât think I want to deal with that with a killer hangover after a wedding walk of shame in fucking Las Vegas,â he drops. And God, that really sounds like a nightmare.
âYeah,â you say looking at the big rock on your thing, âyou are right, but we should probably still call Joshua,â
âI told you he is a real state lawyer didnât I?â He says almost rudely to you, and you want to say that if you two are married both of you said yes it is not like you are the only one responsible for it but you try not to push his buttons.
âAnd what is your option Jeonghan?â
âIâm thinking about just getting drunk again so I can forget everything that is happening right now.â
What a fucking great idea.
Seungcheol is one of Jeonghanâs closest friends from college. Seungcheol just became your friend because you and Jeonghan were weirdly bound at the hip. You both shared your high school years, and when you two enrolled at the same university you only had two options, pretend you two didnât know each other, or become conjoined twins. Jeonghan was a business major, you were enrolled in every class that had literature, poetry, or the name of a dead guy on it. But still, you and Seungcheol became great friends even though he is a finance guy. And Seungcheol was the reason you two were on a Vegas trip, the last trip of his life as an unmarried man, he had to make a sketchy deal with his fiancĂŠ in order to it to happen but still, according to him, it was worthy.
âNice shot!â You hear Seungcheol's voice loud, bringing you back to reality. He is clapping as Seokmin - one of his other friends from work hits the ball down the hole.
Seungcheolâs voice, loud and clear, brings you back to reality.
Oh the joys of playing mini golf before lunch, you could spend days and days talking about how much you loved the idea and how every hole seems like a fucking nightmare but you are a married woman. Needless to say this whole situation wasnât in your 2023 bingo card. You donât pay attention when it is Jeonghan or Seungcheolâs turn, you wait until you have to put the ball in the hole, it probably takes you double the time, and then it starts again, ad infinitum. At least they are kind enough to not pressure you to perform like Tiger Woods or something.
You think about Jeonghan though. Somehow, he hasnât changed. Jeonghan was the same Jeonghan you met in high school, of course, he matured and the years turned into baggage, but Jeonghan was still your friend who was playful enough to get married on a whim. Jeonghan was everything you werenât in a way, somewhat playful and carefree, and still a very practical human being. Jeonghan was mischievous, but yet, not even once, he pushed you until you couldnât take it, and that makes you think that somehow, with an unknown reason, in your drunk stupor, you wanted to marry Jeonghan, because hell can break loose, the skies can fall, but Jeonghan would never make you do something you did not want to do.
While Jeonghan and Seungcheol are busy hitting those tiny balls Seokmin stops by your side. You like Seokmin, Seokmin is kind, and you constantly think about how he is surviving the finance world, he doesnât seem cut to it, but somehow he manages to stay alive against the monsters of capitalism, or, worse, he stays alive feed the monsters of capitalism. Ew. Seokminâs face though seems focused on another thing, he looks in shock and happy at the same time, he probably did the whole hole in less than three shots you think.
âOh my god,â He almost screams making you jolt in place, in all truth that was pretty much a common occurrence when your day to day involved Seokmin.
âHm?â You question puzzled, looking at him trying to find a clue of something behind his feature when Jeonghan and Seungcheol finally join the two of you on the sideline.
âWhat is that?â Seokmin asks and you still without a fucking clue of what he is talking about. âDamn,â he says with his big smile across his face, making the tip of his nose get even more pronounced, âare you guys planning a surprise and I just ruined it?â His face changes in a blink of an eye.
âWhat surprise?â Jeonghan questions taking a drink of his gatorade like he was in the middle of an excruciating sport and not fucking mini golf after an unsafe amount of alcohol.
âThat thing!â Seokmin cheered, and then it downs on you - the big ass ring on your hand, propped on the golf putter, and before you can hide it or chop your hand off the three man in your sight is eying the big damn rock that you forgot about,
âThe what?â Seungcheol blurted.
âThis is an engagement ring right?â Seokmin asks and you think about an ostrich, putting its head on the ground, you think you can do the same in one of the circuit's holes.
âNo, it isnât, how the hell they are engaged when they arenât dating?â Seungcheol scoffs, acting like Seokmin is saying something that doesn't make sense, something that happened numerous times before, it could be happening again. It was happening again, at least to Seungcheol.
âWe saw that one when we were looking for your fiancĂŠe present though,â Seokmin says all pouty and confused, and you think you almost try to defend his point of view as you always do, just because he is cute.
âIt isnât an engagement right?â Seungcheol asks
âIt would be weird to be an engagement ring,â Jeonghan acknowledged the absurdity that envelopes the situation that you two are in, you want to try to take off the ring and just throw it across the field of mini golf, but a) it looked extra expensive, b) the three guys didn't even blink looking at your hand.
âDid you buy for aesthetic proposal?â Seokmin asks, "A girl that works with the human resources team did buy one just because she thought it was pretty."
âOf course,â Seungcheol claps, âI mean fashion was never your strong suit,â He says and it almost feels like a jab, âI almost brought that one, Jeonghan was dead set on this, saying it was the ring, but it was a bit on the expensive sideâ
âHow expensive are we talking about?â You try to pry your body from reacting physically to the fact that Jeonghan shredded a fucking invoice and receipt, and the fact that even Seungcheol - the guy who buys twelves tumblers just because it was cute and ends up giving them away finds that expensive sets a new parameter of money waste.
âYou didnât check the price?" Seokmin asks, when you remain silent he continues, âWow be you must be nice, balling and shit."
âHow expensive are we talking about Seungcheol?â You try again, "Seokmin?" If you canât return this damn thing at least you can try to sell it later. If you canât find someone who can buy this you can sell for those weird and sketchy stores but you need to know how much you are actually losing on the deal, well, not you, Jeonghan but still, if you know the man he will just accept his fate and never move a muscle to deal with this ring situation.
âYou really didn't check the price hun?â Seungcheol questions raising his eyebrow, like he always did when he couldnât quite believe in you and it always made you feel angry with him. It was a tale almost, even when you were telling the truth he always raised that eyebrow questioning you, making you explain yourself.
âI brought the ring,â Jeonghan says nonchalantly like he is saying that he brought the bread on his way home. Jeonghan had this thing, a completely loath to let other people know his truest feelings. Even if he was one step away from a panic attack he would not tell you.
âWhy would you do that?â Seungcheol asks again his voice is two tones higher, and you feel like he is questioning the two of you, and in his own mind he is the bad cop in the situation - Seungcheol liked that type of shit, and you think that maybe he is so into that because Jeonghan is his polar opposite, never giving Seungcheol a reaction.
âI told you I thought it was a beautiful ring man,â Jeonghan deadpans and take his fingers to move his bangs out of his eyes - making him look like a fucking prick, looking down at everyone else, and you know that just tickles something in Seungcheol. âWhat I am trying to say,â Jeonghan tries again, âis that the ring It is not an engagement ring because I didnât ask her to marry me yet,â Jeonghan says walking by your side and enveloping your shoulder in an awkward hug. âI just confessed my feelings, it might be over the top a bit but you guys know I just had my eye on the ring.â
âDude! Finally!â Seokmin says hugging Jeonghan, and you almost feel yourself choking on air.
When Jeonghan is free he whispers against your ear, his breath on your skin making you shrink, âJust bear with it.â
âWhat?â Seungcheol asks âOut of nowhere, you confessed your feelings? With an engagement ring?â
âNot an engagement ring Seungcheol we won't crash your wedding, relax,â Jeonghan says again, rolling his eyes.
âHow much it was?â You try again dead set on finding out how much that was, apparently a new hyper-fixation.
âBabe,â Jeonghan says looking at you with a mischievous smile across his face, âit is not polite to talk about the price tagâ
âWhat the hell I am watching right now?â Seungcheol bristled, more in anger than in frustration.
âIt was long overdue really,â Seokmin gushed, in a terrible contrast to Seungcheolâs features, his voice is loud and his big smile stretches across his face, âI thought it was so fucking weird you two sharing a hotel room with the excuse of saving money, like we know Jeonghan has money,â Seokmin points to the ring, making your skin crawl.
âWe are returning this,â you tell Jeonghan, your voice low while elbowing his ribs.
âBaby I told you,â Jeonghan appealed, grabbing your shoulder âWe canât do thatâ
âLike I personally found you guys always so weird like, I think I even asked Seungcheol if you guys were married in the past because you guys are really,â he moves his hands in a weird move in a way to mean how close you always had been, âlike truly crazy and then I asked Seungcheol and he was like it is never gonna happen and I was like-"
And Seokmin goes on for about a good five minutes about how he thought the two of you were a couple, and in a way, you were so used to it that it didn't even startle you. The problem was that Seokmin truly believed Jeonghanâs lies, one thing was to think that you two were in a relationship - everyone had this basic reaction since the two were in college, even one of Jeonghanâs ex-girlfriend thought of, one of your coworkers too, Jeonghanâs door to door neighbors too, almost every single soul you two met. That alone was something you began to understand, yeah you and Jeonghan had a weird level of intimacy.
 If you mash together your college years you can sum up in - of course, we do not date, of course, you can go ahead and kiss him in this horrible pub, oh yeas I am living in his dorm at ungodly hours just because we decided to binge watch a docuseries, oh if I am wearing Jeonghan's clothes? Haha He saved my ass because I doped the coffee on my clothes - ps. The coffee didn't exist, and his girlfriend did break things up a week later, Jeonghan swore it wasn't because of you. Once one guy broke up with you because when he smelled you he could recognize Jeonghan's smell on you, Jeonghan toke as his duty to just fuck up with that guy's mind for a whole month. He told you over and over again that the guy was wrong and basically called you a cheater, so you might as well plant enough evidence to give them the mental image - Jeonghan planted underwear on said guy's returning box, a note with his own handwriting with meet me in secret at the library, and even brought you a small dog plushie to put in the box and when you asked why he said 'he will think another guy gave you a present'.
Knowing Jeonghan and the fact that he loved shocking people this whole act today didn't really shock you, in the end, you were the only that understand Jeonghan, because you would never ever fall for this weird ass act. Your default reaction to anything Jeonghan related was a fair amount of mistrust.
âWhat are you two doing?â Seungcheol asks again, his voice is laced with suspicion and mistrust.
âDoing what?â Jeonghan asks, his hand going to your hair and placing it behind your ear.
âWhatever you guys are doing,â Seungcheol says pointing his fingers at the both of you, and you think it is dumb to even pretend something to Seungcheol, he knows you, he knows Jeonghan he knows nothing like that would even happen and you still don't know why Jeonghan is even trying to lie to him.Â
âJeonghan-â you whine, marrying in Vegas is indeed something that brings you shame and regret but lying to your friends is even worse, how would you deal with that later?
You think you would prefer listening to Seungcheolâs monologue about how both of you are completely crazy, unreasonable, and unreliable, all of that rings true now. And it was Seungcheol, he would end up knowing somehow, even if you didnât tell him now, you both would end up telling him. This whole scheme would fall like a house of cards somehow. You couldn't knock on Seungcheol door and say haha we were kidding, but Jeonghan could, you would make him do it.
âSeungcheol thatâs actually-â
âWhat are we supposed to believe that after what? A decade you just woke up brought a ring and confessed your feelings?â Seungcheol asks, raising his voice enough to make you look around the damn mini golf to see if anyone is insane enough to care about this damn scene, âWhen you are a commitment phobe who has been on my ass for the past several months?â
âLook man, can you just drop it?â Jeonghan asks again - in the same aloof way he uses when he wants to piss you off, almost like he is flirting with the idea of being a patronizing prick.Â
âOf course not, what the hell,â Seungcheol says, his tone still on the angrier side âYou didnât even remotely tell us about this."
âYeah well some people can actually keep secret,â Jeonghan says bitterly.
âWhat was that supposed to mean?â Seungcheol questions and just by the tone of his voice you know that shit is going down, you have seen countless fights between the two to know that Seungcheol was on the edge.
âIt means that I can actually keep my individuality as a human being because I donât have a crazy girlfriend who has trust issues so I need to overshare everyoneâs personal life because she thinks you can cheat on her every monday to friday man,â Jeonghan quipped. He was not the one who loved to fight, Jeonghan was actually someone who would just shrug and resolve the situation later when it came back to bite his ass, but damn when he wanted to fight he was ready for it.
âDamn,â Seokmin breathed.
âWhat the fuck Jeonghan,â You and Seungcheol say at the same time, both in disbelief.
âIt is the truth, isn't it?â Jeonghan chastised, âDude you are traveling with friends and somehow the whole lunch was about how your girlfriend was pissed that you actually brought a ring to placate how angry she was."
âJeonghan stop talking.â you plead, holding his arms trying to get his attention, to make him stop before things end up in a point of no return.Â
âWhy?â Jeonghan asks you this time, eyes focused on you and not Seungcheol.
âBecause you are being a fucking asshole now,â you say âThis is Seungcheol bachelorâs party the man is getting married,â you try again like Seungcheol is not in the room.
âOh you think I donât know about that?" He says exasperated, "We are in Vegas and this motherfucker drink one beer and told us to go to our own hotel yesterday so we needed to get drunk and-â
âJeonghan,â you say again almost like a kid tugging Jeonghan's by his shirt sleeve.
âWe are in fucking Vegas and we didnât visit one strip club and we are playing mini golf that something off about this whole trip,â Jeonghan says loudly chuckling at his own words.
âAre you seriously right now? You are going on a tirade against your friend because he doesnât take you to strip clubs?â It is your time to act in disbelief - strip club? Seriously?
âMaybe if we were at a strip club yesterday,â Jeonghan says eying you.
âYou know what?â Seungcheol speaks up. âFuck you, you are uninvited by the way, you go on and on about how you donât think I should marry, well, then you donât need to show up.â
You and Jeonghan are left side by side on the mini golf field. Standing there while the world still moving around. You want to break out in laughter, you want to just laugh at how the two of your friends seem to wake up on the wrong foot, you want to knock Jeonghan's head off his shoulder, but you end up just walking to return to the damn golf club.Â
The whole way to the hotel you and Jeonghan spend in complete silence, not one uttering a single word.
And apparently - now you are the one that wants to start a fight out of nowhere. You are the one that wants to scream about how Jeonghan was being an unreasonable asshole. You try to wrap your head around his reasons, about why he would act like that and nothing that comes up in your own brain seems right.
So when you both are back in the hotel room - now with new sheets thank god, and less alcohol smell you just ask in the most nonsubtle way you can, you hold your own waist and ask like he was a teenager throwing a rude tantrum, âWhat was that?â
âWhat?â Jeonghan asks taking his time to take off his jewelry, watch the first thing, and later necklace, if he had any bracelet would be the third step of his routine.
âThe whole Seungcheol marriage thing?â
âWell, you donât have to deal with him drunk every Friday night telling you how overwhelmed and how he feels trapped since they set the wedding date,â Jeonghan says shrugging.Â
âYou told me he was going on and on about how great marriage is,â you say sitting on the bed, trying to understand all the things you apparently didn't know about Jeonghan and Seungcheol.
âYeah, he has his own list of cons in his note app," Jeonghan huffs, "every time he thinks about calling it off, I think I just memorized it because he reads more than once a dayâ
âFuck,â you say in a breath. In your own mind, Seungcheol not even once doubted his choice to get married, not even once seemed unsure of his decision.
âI was the one that said Vegas," Jeonghan says sitting on your side, both of you looking at the widow that faces a fucking parking lot, "I thought that he would get drunk enough to actually mess everything up because he canât do sober, and by mess everything up I mean breaking up with his crazy girlfriend."
âYeah, still, you didnât need to be a fucking asshole,â you say seriously this time trying to face him.
âWell, I panicked ok?" Jeonghan finally breaks, "I wasnât going to tell that man who is having a daily mental breakdown that we married in fucking Vegas.â
âI mean, I don't know about you but I think your friendship with Seungcheol is more important than being lectured because you married in Vegas, Hannie,â you tell him softly, patting his thigh.
âWell,â Jeonghan says, letting his hand on top of yours, âI guess I can't be gracious always,â he says with a sad smile.
âI know you are stressed out," You say calmly, "but you lashed out at Seungcheol and it wasn't great,â
âThe fuck you are defending him for?â Jeonghan says standing up and pretending he is searching for something in that damn room.
âAre you serious?â
âWhat?" Jeonghan chuckles, "he can go on and on about how I am a commitment-phobe type of guy who is fucked up enough to not have a fiancĂŠe like him and it is all good and fun and games? But when I call out his fucking weird relationship I am the bad guy?â
âJeonghan,â You try but before you can even finish he cuts you.
âNo, don't Jeonghan me, the fuck,â he retorted, âyou have the excuse of not knowing because I don't tell you, you could think I am an asshole and a horrible boyfriend because every time someone breaks up with me even though I am a great catch,â he laughs bitterly, âYou can do that, Seungcheol can't do that, he doesn't have an excuse, he knows why.â
âI never ever think about you like that,â you say sincerely because it is the truth, never once have you thought about Jeonghan being afraid of commitment or being a shit asshole. You always thought about how every girlfriend of his always looked and sounded more in love with him than the other way around, but that wasn't exactly a character flaw.
âI know,â he says already sounding exhausted.
âNo I don't think you do,â you say sternly, âlike it never crossed my mind really, I always thought about how they were crazy for letting you go, so what you don't want to marry someone? the fuck you can still have a great life and a great relationship with someone without a ring, and I know you are capable of it," and to your own ears you sound almost bitter, how they could be so dumb? To have a chance to have Jeonghan and let him go? âYou have always been there for me, you never once wavered, I have no reason to ever think of you in that light and I don't think Seungcheol is being fair, he wasn't, but he is getting married in three weeks Han.â
âYeah and I am telling him his girlfriend has been a freak since week two when she threw a fit because she was jealous of you,â Jeonghan says shocking you, "because according to her own crazy brain, you are way too close to men so who knows what you will do when she turns her back."
âOf me?â You say pointing at yourself, âDamn, she is crazy."
âThatâs what I am trying to tell him, and he isn't fuck listening I guess.â
The whole afternoon you think about Jeonghan.
You think about him when he is lying in the bed on his cellphone, and you continuously think about him when you find him napping in the same bed. You think about everything you don't know about your friend, and you think about everything he doesnât share with you, that he chooses not to. And you know every single human has secrets, and there are things Jeonghan doesn't know about you too. But knowing that it is one thing, dealing with the emotions that come with it is another thing altogether. Why he would not tell you? Why he would tell Seungcheol?
Those questions live in your brain, rattling and making sounds every time they crash against your skull. You think about your friendship as well. Jeonghan was always there for you. He was there when you had your first heartbreak in the third year of high school, he was there when Mark broke up with you in college, and he was there every step of the way. He was there when you were sick, he was there when your favorite auntie died, he was there when you were panicking before your first job interview, he was there. You just couldn't wrap your mind around the fact that someone would call a man like that a commitment phobe or break up with him.
And what he said was true in some way, Jeonghan never broke up with anyone, he was always the one who was dumped and weirdly okay with it. Every time you talked about someone who didn't know Jeonghan you always painted him as the perfect guy, and it was true - he had a great job and his bank account was crazy even though he worked to the capital devil, he was someone who ha they shit together too, he helped his parent, he helped his friend, his house was never messy.
Every time you broke up with someone you talked about how you wanted a guy just like Jeonghan, nice and fun, but also low maintenance in a way, someone you could just comfortable be being with, without having to try too hard and do too much. And every time you met someone new, you always trusted Jeonghan's opinion, if he vetoed someone he had his reasons, like the weird guy that two months later was on the news because he emptied someone's bank account because they let their bank account info saved on the computer or something like that.
If you thought about it - really being married to Jeonghan was not even close to the worst thing that happened to you. Founding a dead rat once in the subway was worse, or that time when you found out that your roommate left the door open for weeks before you just never went to sleep before her just so you could make sure to close the door, and 95% of the time she didn't close the fucking door, that was worse than being married to Jeonghan.
âThe fuck?â Jeonghan groans.
âWhat?â
âApparently I messaged my account manager our marriage certificate asking if he could officialize the house-buying proposal, and apparently the bank green flaged it? The owner needs to accept the proposal of course, and it may take a while but-" Jeonghan stops halfway, almost like zooming out, staring at the wall ahead of him.
âI guess you are soon to be a house owner?â You question bringing Jeonghan back to reality.
âNo, no-"
âSeriously if it is something that is helping you I don't mind, we can come back to Vegas a few weeks after the deal to annul it I looked up online it is not that hard we just need the documentation and the wedding certificate so," and it was true - you did research how to deal with the whole thing, it seemed easy, maybe that's why they actually let people marry crazy drunk, so they can pay to annul it and the city double the revenue, apparently crazy amount of drinking and casinos were not paying the bill.
âAbout that,â Jeonghan says, his hands tugging the sides of his hair.
âAbout what?â You ask.
"The wedding certificate,â he says, finally looking at you, his eyes big and still puffy because of his nap, âI think, I mean- I am pretty sure it is shredded with the receipt and invoice."
âWhat the fuck Jeonghan?â You shout, oh man, you are going to kill this man. The image is already on your head - jumping on that very same bed like a crazy woman and kicking him before you just kill him with your bare hands.
âI know,â he says almost in a grunt, laying down like a starfish.
âWhy did you shred everything up for god's sake," you say almost stopping on the floor.
âI don't know okay?" Jeonghan says, sitting on the bed now, his cellphone forgotten, "Why did we marry? Can you answer that?â
âOOh," you huff, "We did get married, but I am soon to be a window if I don't kill in the next five minutes I swear to godâ
âWait, what changed if it is helping me?â Jeonghan says, back to his mischievous self, with a small smile across his face almost finding endearing the way that you try to threaten his life.
âYou are making everything argh-â You are losing your damn mind and if you end up crazy it is Jeonghan's fault, now that he is indeed your husband has another tingle to you like a thriller movie, but you are afraid you are in your own Cameron Diaz Ashton Kutcher low budget 00's movie. Maybe you should take the whole thriller movie, it seems, weirdly, less weird. "First we cannot return this ring now I have to find someone who wants to buy it without documentation so everyone will think this shit is totally fake, I mean I would too, don't get me wrong I wouldn't trust myself either with this jewelry," you go off - almost missing the point, rambling really, before you get back to the point, "now we need to find a second copy of this certificate I swear to god we could just go to the nearest courtroom and annul the wedding I googled it."Â
"I already told you you can keep the ring," Jeonghan says - voice low in contrast to your high-pitched complaints.
"Why would I keep this ring Jeonghan?" You question, it sounds weird in your own ears.
The truth is, you did love the ring, it is a beautiful ring but the truth is - you can't keep it. It shouldn't be yours to keep. It should go to someone Jeonghan wants to actually marry, even though you can't bring yourself to take it off your finger, even though you didn't even try to take it off after this morning.
And a breath almost gets locked in your throat. Why? You think, and deep down you know you have your answer but you just shove everything down when you hear Jeonghan's voice, "Well If you sell it I won't take the money."
"I can just pour it into my savings accounts," you say petulantly.
"The fuck," Jeonghan bites back.
"What? You said you didn't want it so I can keep the money," You try your best to sound even close to someone somewhat rational in this matter.
"It is a present you can't sell a present," Jeonghan though, never has a problem looking like he is saying the most rational thing ever even when it doesn't make any sense.
"I totally can," you bite back trying to hold your ground just out of pure spite. He didn't accept that cursed ring which is not even supposed to be yours why the hell he is making such a big deal of you selling or throwing it in the sea?
"You can't," Jeonghan says again, and you think back to your friendship and a lot of times it was like that - a lot of things without proper explanations.
"Why not?" So you just hold your ground - again, he will not win this one, this time he will have to explain.
"Because it is a present I picked up for you. I actually thought about it, I mean before drinking buying apparently, but I thought it would suit you" Jeonghan says, "Just don't sell, if you don't want to use it okay fine but just, just don't sell it, don't hurt a man's pride like that,"
You want to try again - to say you will sell this damn ring if you go to the store and it can't be returned, and you want to say you will throw it on the nearest river because Las Vegas is indeed very far from the sea. You want to push him until he says okay I take the damn ring and I will hold onto it and pass it through generations. But when Jeonghan speaks and he sounds so tired and so hurt you just give up and lock yourself in the bathroom pretending to take a shower before leaving this hellhole of a place.
You look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself how the hell everything happened in such a short amount of time. A marriage, a fight, a ring that makes you go crazy. Maybe you are closer to having a breakdown, maybe it is the time to face things that you are trying to keep hidden under the rug. You think that maybe it is time to just downpour everything.
But like always, you don't. You bottle everything up and pretend that everything is fine.
The last few days in Vegas have been less eventful, thanks God. Jeonghan and you go to weird restaurants and for a walk around the town, and you think about how you got married in the city of Sins.
At least it is fitting to think that pride and wrath have something to do with your own stay in this city.
You often think about Seungcheol, sending him and Seokmin a message or two, or a total of 15. Seokmin answers you, Seungcheol doesn't. And you need to hold yourself back when you type down a fuck you but don't send. You try to pry on Jeonghan's end too, but after the third time that he just doesn't answer you with words but just a cold stare you just let it go. Maybe that's why Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends for so long - pieces of the same cloth.
The flight back is not that tricky but at the same time when Jeonghan drops you out at your door, you are ready for a 30 minutes shower and drop dead for a whole week. When you open the door you are glad that your roommate at least remembered to close and lock the door. Character development you think, maybe she is getting better, maybe you don't need to actually move into Jeonghan's house as a safety precaution. But something doesn't seem quite right - there is a new sofa in the living room, which isn't exactly a problem, really, your sofa kinda sucked. But when you look again, you understand what is missing.
No, she didn't, she would not be that crazy. You refuse to believe that. You left all your luggage in the middle of the living room and ran to your bed, maybe she put the side table there, of course, maybe she just moved because the new sofa seems bigger. But there is nothing that resembles the side table in your room, so you try again - her room now, still nothing.
You send a message.
You try to call.
So you try the next best thing - call Jeonghan so he can calm you down. He doesn't pick up. You sit on the floor, right beside your luggage, and you refuse to sit down on that sofa, it is pretty it seems comfortable but now is the object that you hate the most. You would prefer, I don't know, to take part in a scientific experiment that might fuck up your brain function than sit down on that thing.
The concept of time and space is a funny thing you think when you lose count of how many minutes or hours you have been staring at the door, it has been probably a long time. Until your roommate opens the door with a big guy by her side, great, all that you needed was an audience for your lash out.
"Oh," she says, big guy with his big hands on her hips and he knows he is not getting laid today, because he sees you and he gets so upright he seems like a fucking power pole, "I didn't know you would be back today."
"Laurel, darling, where is my side table?" You ask without beating around the bush.
"Oh right," she says letting her keys on the counter without fucking locking the door you have never been closer to a have a fucking stroke, you can feel your blood pressure rising, "the sofa was a bit bigger, you know I told you I was thinking about changing and this was on discount, but the table didn't really had a place in the room anymore so I put on marketplace a cute girl come up to pick in the same day, great right?"
You blink once, twice, and the words don't even come, you are so astonished that you are left speechless. Maybe you could get over the unsaid desire of getting murdered by a serial killer, and maybe you could get over the leftover food on the counter, and you could even get over the whole singing in the shower when you are fucking tone-deaf really.
But that. That was one thing you could never get over.
"Are you fucking insane? Are you fucking crazy?" You ask, the big guy taking a step back, "Or do you just have fun being the most self-centered bitch in this part of the country?"
"What the fuck?" She says, and oh god, you want to jump on her bones, you want to leave this woman bald.
"Did you ask Laurel?" You ask again, remaining sitting on the floor because if you pick yourself up you are probably no longer be a first-time offender. "Did you ever think about asking if you could sell, give or even create a fucking bonfire with the wood of my deceased auntie's side table? Did you fucking asked?"
"Oh I didn't know," she says simply. You feel the tears streaming down your face and you don't actually know if it is because of sadness or anger.
"So funny Laurel because I don't even fucking know how you function like a human being because your brain is so fucking empty of common sense really," you bristled, finally getting up and picking up your big backup, "Look I don't know how I don't care really, it is up to you, but you get my table back in perfect state, and you will pay this month rent fully because I am not living with you I would prefer Satan as my roommate really, and you may as well find another roommate because I will not move a muscle to put someone inside this apartment," You say moving past Laurel and the crazy big guy, "and by the way Laurel? I would fucking lock the door today you don't really think about how many insane people leave in this world."
You say finally get out of the apartment.
You don't really stop walking because you are afraid you will just fall on the ground, crying in the middle of the street in the fetal position, not really a pretty picture. You know Jeonghan's house is not really far, a twenty minute walk. You wish you had an epiphany when you see yourself at his door, a moment to say 'wow why am I here?'. But you know yourself enough to know why, you know Jeonghan enough to know why you are at his door.
You know Jeonghan will open the door for you, and you hope deep down that he will hunt Laurel-the-sattan-spit-roommate down.
When Jeonghan opens the door, he looks puzzled, his face shows that he is trying to understand what is happening. You are sure he was ready to say that he didn't order something and to check on his neighbor.
"What happened?" Jeonghan asks when he sees you on his door instead of a lost delivery guy.
"Laurel," you say, and before having the chance to say anything else, you already feel the pain, you don't want to cry but you end up doing that nonetheless. You even hiccup once or twice before you feel Jeonghan's arms against you, enveloping you, making you feel safe.
"What did she do?" Jeonghan tries again, one of his hands still around you, while the other cradles your head, his hand softly stroking your head.
"She sold my side table," you say, still hiccuping your way through the sentence and you feel so fucking dumb, crying in Jeonghan's arms, and you feel Jeonghan's body goes completely rigid before he holds your face in his hands and you almost flinch because you cannot face that man in this state, and second, his hands are cold.
"She sold your side table?" He asks and you just nod, it is the only thing you can do, "The side table?" He tries again just to receive the same reaction, his hands wrap around you, but this time he hugs you tighter, your head smashed against his chest and somehow you find a resemblance of comfort.
Jeonghan takes you to the kitchen, and when you feel his arms release you, you just sink to the ground, your back to the cabinets. Jeonghan hands you a cup of water, and hugs you again, his hands rubbing your back like you are some kind of a toddler, and that alone makes you sniff even more. That motion alone takes you back to your college days when you went back home to your auntie's funeral - Jeonghan drove the whole way, and the only sound inside the car was you crying. Back then you didn't know that Jeonghan lost an important exam so he could drive you back home, later when he was pilled with an ungodly amount of work and told you he needed to do an extra project so he didn't fluke his class you cried all over again - part of it because you felt guilty, part of it was because it was Jeonghan, and you could count on him for anything.
And here he was, years later taking care of you again. You never doubt he would, that alone - the certainty that Jeonghan is in your life should scare you, but it never did. Not now, and not even back in college when Seungcheol joked about every time a new girl showed up alongside Jeonghan. Somehow you knew that Jeonghan would be there if you needed him, if you ever shouted that man would run leaps. The thing was, Jeonghan never told you anything remotely close to make you believe that, he never promised you anything, but Jeonghan actions always reassured you that no matter what, he would be there if you needed him the most.
You think about it how - weirdly - you were never in that position, how you never once was that person to Jeonghan, the person that reassure Jeonghan or be someone he could lean on. There is a deep down desire that you don't quite acknowledge over the years - that you want to be someone important to Jeonghan. Someone as important as Jeonghan is to you.
When you feel you can finally breathe you get out of Jeonghan's hold to go to the bathroom, in a way searching a way to escape your own feelings and thoughts, pretending you just need to wash your face. When you return to the kitchen, Jeonghan is in the same place, sitting on the floor staring at his own hands. Now, calmer, you take the whole scene of the kitchen; the single glass of wine on the counter, the open bottle, Jeonghan's cellphone, and his notebook.
âWere you drinking?â You ask after a while, sitting on his sides and copying his positions - legs stretched and back flushed against the cabinets. The hiccups are still there but theyâre less frequent now, and you can finally breathe on your own.
âYeah I was,â Jeonghan says, stretching his legs and looking at his feet cladded with old socks.
Jeonghan thinks about the minutes before you arrived, how he was just scrolling on his phone and drinking alone because his mood was so dreadful that he didn't want to make anyone suffer in his company. The only person he would subject to a vent session was Seungcheol, so drinking alone was the only answer. The truth is plain and simple really - Jeonghan has been feeling miserable for quite some time now, mainly because even though it pays extremely well his job sucks. He works for and with shitty people, but it pays well, so that should be enough - why it isn't? But all of that seems so fucking small against the feeling of you losing the last physical thing of someone you loved, someone who was so important to you.
âWhy were you drinking alone Jeonghan?â You ask, giving his thigh little taps but still looking ahead - you see yourself in the mirror, you are so swollen you can't face the man like that.
âI,â Jeonghan ponders, thinking about if it is the right time to just go on a tangent about how he works sucks, how his best friend isn't talking to him, and how he wants to go back to his high schooler self and just start everything over, even if he fucks everything over is way better than this gray area that he is stuck on. âWe can talk about me another time,â
âJust," You breathe deeply, your head almost knocking against the counter door, "do it for me then,â you tell him softly, almost pleading, âtell me so I can take my mind off this shit.â
âI think,â Jeonghan says, âno, scratch that,â he laughs dryly, âI am sure that I am fucking miserable,â he looks at you waiting for your reaction, âand Iâve been miserable for a while, I just fucking hate everything,â
âHan-â you try to say, and you almost feel like you don't have tears anymore, but if you could physically cry you would.
âI am not depressed, donât worry, I just,â he trails off, âI hate that fucking job and if I have to spend another year there I would probably kill a rich guy, I have a few investments, and I have savings, and I-â
âYou should buy the house,â You blurt out, remembering Jeonghan's eyes looking at the pictures of the house.
âWhat?â Jeonghan says almost choking on nothing.
âYou should buy the house, just give me one room and I will pay rent, we can share utilities and food, and then you can quit,â you declared like it was something people just do on a whim, like you are not even having a stroke just thinking about the process of ending your lease contract, but the sky can open you are not sharing another day in that apartment.
âNot a great deal when I have a fucking loan on my name,â Jeonghan bemused, almost laughing at your non-sense.
âJust donât tell the bank,â you shrug.
âWell,â Jeonghan says, almost like he is trying to assess the situation, see how everything could plan out from different angles.
âCome on, tell me,â You say finally caving into your curiosity, poking Jeonghan with your elbow.
âTell you what?â Jeonghan asks but you can feel the playful tone in his voice, almost a childlike wonder of being caught doing something he shouldn't do.
âWhat is the plan?â You whisper - you don't know why but this whole thing seems like a secret, like something Jeonghan doesn't want to see the light of day yet, something he has been keeping under wraps.
âWhat plan?â
âI know you Jeonghan," You say finally looking at him, a small smile still stretched across his face, "I have known you for quite a while, come on, donât underestimate me,â
âWhat are you talking about?â Jeonghan says playing the fool but the smile is still there, making you probe a little bit more.
âI know you, you would never think about quitting without a black plan besides having a few savings and weird investments, tell me,â You almost pleaded, turning your body to him, your hands on his thighs supporting your own weight on him. And you know you need to bring out the big guns - the begging eyes, almost laughing at yourself.
âFuck,â Jeonghan laughs at you, his head tilting back and all, like you are the most amusing creature ever.
âCome on,â you urge, using your hands on his leg to almost shake him.
âIt is not a plan, it is a desire,â he begins, âIâm thinking about sitting down and doing a few design classes, it can be online but,â
âNo-â You say surprised, your smile big across your face because you know where this is going.
âMaybe,â he says still leaning on the counter, eyes closed and that infuriating smile still on.
âYou can totally do it,â you tell him almost jumping on your place.
âIt is not a plan yet,â he explains, in a vain attempt to make you tone down your excitement, but every time he looks at you he thinks he can give you that, soothe your pain with his dreams and hopes that won't really get out of paper. At least today he can do that for you.
âI can help you,â you say, finally changing positions and sitting almost by his feet, facing him, Jeonghan's hand on your ankle.
âHow can you help me?â He asks you, squeezing your ankle and you pretend you are going to kick him, but he just holds your ankle and puts it on his lap.
âWe can do it,â you say completely seriously because you truly believe he can do it, achieving his teenage dream job. âYou know me, I am an army general, I have discipline, and I love a good worksheet, I am an editor,"
âWhat you being an editor has to do with it?â Jeonghan says while he tickles your feet, making you almost jerk.
"Stop that," you say using your other to nudge him, "I did a few children's books mind you,â you say, using your free hand to pinch Jeonghan's feet in the form of a threat, âI know how to promote things, I know how to deal with due dates and with manufacturers, you just need to sit down after lunch watch your boring ass class like a college student and hand your resignation letter,â
âIt is not something that will actually work and be profitable,â Jeonghan huffs.
âJeonghan, be honest with me,â you say, this time in a more serious tone.
âOkay,â He says, hands leaving your feet and closing together on his stomach.
âWould you ever take that leap with you couldnât live till 90 years old with the money you have on the back?â You joke, breaking him in half, his laughter resonating in the kitchen.
âNo?â He jokes back.
âWe are doing it,â you say like his opinion in his own laugh and plans don't actually matter that much, but Jeonghan just smiles back at you - sometimes, he thinks about how you are the only one who can actually match his insanity, the only one that goes with his plan, or come up with even weird ones.
And Jeonghan knows he is fucked, because every time he thinks he canât love you more you show him that love grows and expands beyond borders. Lately, Jeonghan favorite song is My Love Mine All Mine, and when he looks at you, in his kitchen, face still swollen and red from crying Mitski sings in his ear - Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine Nothing in the world is mine for free But my love, mine, all mine, all mine. It resonates with him, the fact that his love for you is his to carry. And this alone makes Jeonghan happy in a weird way, because he knows how much love you deserve, and he is happy that he is the one that loves you, and he loves you for free.
Even though Jeonghan knows you donât love him like he does love you he thinks about how you are the only person that is always there for him. Everyone that he knows would make Jeonghan just let it go. Why the fuck he would build a business around childrenâs toys? Why would he resign and leave a great career that gives enough money and intel to just go around and draw a few rabbits and frogs on a page? Just because of joy? Jeonghan always knew that joy alone could not make you survive on this earth.
But yet you were doing just that. Telling him to drop everything and just try to be happy. Right now Jeonghan could drop on his knee and ask you to marry him if you werenât legally married and if he wasnât a fucking coward. Sometimes he hates himself for that, the way he holds onto something he knows it is not quite enough but it is the only thing he can have.
Jeonghan thinks about- everything really, but mostly how joyful you are in your own way. How you would buy sweet treats just for the sake of it, how you had every single first copy of the books you worked on even if they were beaten in the process and almost unreadable. He thinks about the first time you showed up on his door, a big book in hands and a smile across your face, buzzing full of pride because it was your first fucking book and your boss give you one in the very first batch - back then you were just the one that did the toughest job, reviewing everything.
Jeonghan knows he loves you, he knows for quite a while.
Jeonghan knew before the first girlfriend dumped him because he was jealous of you. When his third girlfriend asked him if he liked you he couldnât even lie, when his fifth girlfriend broke up and for the fifth time, the reason was you he just stopped trying dates altogether.
Jeonghan doesn't remember much of the marriage itself, he remembers bits and pieces of an Elton John in a 70's costume and how the chapel was way hotter, making Jeonghan's armpits wet, not a great look for a groom. But he remembers everything before that - in a less hazed lens. He remembers telling you in the hotel bar how he loved you for quite a while now, and how you looked so shocked - telling him he should quit lying. He swore on his first dog's grave, weirdly that made you believe him. He told you how he hated Mark - your college boyfriend that literature guy who gave you poems that you still keep as presents, he remembers you saying how you would keep every post-it note if Jeonghan wrote them in the future. It was a promise, you said holding your pinkie finger out for him. He remembers buying you the ring, you outside the store because he knew you would think that the chosen ring was too much, too big, too expensive, any ring will do it you told him before letting him inside, but he couldn't do it, he could only choose the prettiest ring for the prettiest girl.Â
Jeonghan remembers his vow, promising he would take care of you, that he would write love letters for the rest of his life on every special date because you hated presents. And Jeonghan remembers how you two kissed in the chapel, on the uber back to the hotel, in the hotel room - more than you should have, because now it is the only thing he can think about it and you don't fuck remember. Jeonghan thought about running, about changing cities and even country - investments were pretty much the same everywhere in the world really. But the reality was that even if he moved, his love was still his to keep, and he would do that heartedly. He was a coward, but he still had his pride, and if that was the price to pay, then, be It.
âHey, come here,â He says, finally lifting himself off the ground.
âWhat?â You ask, looking at him still sitting on the floor.
âCome here,â He says again, giving his hands so you can get up.
âWhat? You are weird what is going on,â you say finally getting up on your feet.
âCome here,â Jeonghan says and before you approach him his arms are already by your side, enveloping you in a thigh hug. âThank you,â he says softly, âthank you for everything really,â
âAre you drunk Yoon Jeonghan?â you ask, your own voice muffled by the tight embrace.
âNo,â Jeonghan laughs, and you can feel his whole body move, âIâm serious, thank you for being there for me even when you have shit on your own to deal with,â He says, his chin on top of your head, âand thank you for not thinking I am a commitment phobic asshole.â
âYou are still on that? I told you I never saw you like that stop being dumb."
âI know, I am just-â Jeonghan doesn't finish his sentence, his arms still around you, his heart beating by your ear.
âLook you are drunk, at least there is nothing much we can fuck up being drunk together after getting married in Vegas," you say and Jeonghan feels a pang, almost like when he stubs his little finger on the corner of random furniture, but he doesn't say anything, "give me a sip of your wine you asshole,â you say getting free of his embrace and holding the bottle of wine
âCome on! Donât drink it straight from the bottle, there is a glass right there!â Jeonghan protested.
âCome on Yoon Jeonghan, I know you, I know you since you didnât have enough cups in your first kitchen, don't play the proper guy with me,â you say like basic manners don't exist, and sitting on his counter.
âI grow up I am an adult now,â Jeonghan says, but he doesn't really move a muscle to pick another glass of wine for you, he thinks it is his biggest flaw - the fact that you can walk over him countless times and Yoon Jeonghan will just let you do whatever you want even if he pretends that it is against his will.
âOh, totally,â You look at him, and even though the phrase itself has a bite to it your voice is honest, âNot to go back to sappy times, but you really did Hannie, you are really growing so much, and I am so proud of you,â
"Shhhh-â Jeonghan murmurs trying to shut you up and you know it is mainly because he is so fucking shy that you almost laugh.
âBy the way,â You say taking another sip from the bottle. âIâm so moving in with you and I can even deal with only one room if you donât sell any of my stuff.â
âShut up,â Jeonghan says kissing the top of your head, âyou can have the whole house, just donât set it on fire.â
Ultimately, that actually happens.
You actually move with Jeonghan into his dream house. The house is 98% bare, without the furniture of the last owner besides the utilities. But a) it is better than living with your satan-spit roommate, b) Jeonghan has been sleeping on his own couch for over two weeks now because even though you say it is okay you can't spend that time in your own apartment he refuses to let you near Laurel.
But somehow, Jeonghan and you make a home out of the new house. You take the bookshelves on the left, all the books you edited in your lifetime on a special shelf right in your point of view. Jeonghan takes the bookshelves on the right, a lot of the books you edited and gifted him are scattered across it because he doesnât really care about arranging his shelves in a particular order.
Every time Jeonghan sees a nice piece of furniture he sends you a picture of it, and you two chat about if it fits the room, and the colors would clash. In a weird way your collection of cups and mugs triples the size, indeed you are engrossed with buying new ones, but the thing is - you always pick two of them now. Jeonghanâs favorite is a weird bunny mug that you never actually use because it ears always make drinking anything impractical.
You two also build a weirdly oiled routine. You two eat breakfast together, Jeonghan wakes up early and when he is just arriving for his morning run you are already scrabbling eggs. When Jeonghan is ready for work you are ready for your own run. When Jeonghan arrives from work you still have one hour to go, so in the end he is the one to always cook dinner. After you two share the dishes and eat something sweet as the dessert the kitchen counter - previously used as a dinner table, now acts an officer table.
While Jeonghan looks up some designer classes, you search manufacturers. When he draws a cute rabbit girl that he named Ttoram, you try to understand how a business works, how you file taxes for it? Sometimes Jeonghan does the dirty work himself after he finishes a new version so you get your pink glittery pen and write in post-it what you think about the new product; âwhat is this material arrow-drawing pointing to a specific part of a squish toyâ, âher head seems big are you sure she won't flop head first in someoneâs bed?â, âare you sure? I think lamps are quite expensive.
The house gets filled with new art supplies, sometimes Jeonghan orders a bunch of them online, and sometimes you are the one that brings back a single pen or a new colored pencil that you pick up in arts stories every time you go to a meeting. The house is filled with paper and drawings, your favorite ones is always the first drafts - the ones that Jeonghan does on the non-quality paper, the ones that he does on pieces of paper, the ones that look less refined and to you are filled with children-like joy.
Another curious thing is how somehow you and Jeonghan seemed very addicted to post-it. Besides the practical use in the drawing drafts because Jeonghan was an old soul who couldnât do his work on an Ipad like a normal human being in this day and age, you also used to communicate - âplease buy eggs!â you wrote and left on the kitchen door, âalready set a reminder on my phone so i donât forget to stop at the market!â jeonghan replied. âDidnât see u before I left :( donât forget to take breaksâ he wrote, somehow the post-it ended up in your office, and you glued it on the computer screen beside one green post-it with a frog with a raincoat on.
Every time the fridge was out of space for new ones you took them off one by one, with a smile on your face, and kept them in a box, safely stored. You always noticed one or two missing but you always thought the wind knocked them out and Jeonghan, that traitor, threw them in the garbage. In short, everything stayed the same with a daily dose of domestic life. The problem was - that it didnât stay the same for very long.
And as hard as it was to admit, it was your fault.
There was no way around it.
It weirdly began every time you saw Jeonghan around the stove. The fact that Jeonghan was beautiful-handsome-pretty was not news to you. You, and every human being that laid eyes on him, always reached the point where you acknowledged how pretty Jeonghan was. In college it was a fucking nightmare, guys and girls banging on his dorm room when you two were watching a movie just because they thought Jeonghan was alone - the fact that he didnât have a roommate because he bribed someone (one of the most Jeonghan acts that you ever witnessed, but that was beside the point - really) only added to the fact that 87% of his course thought he was down to bang anytime. The truth was that you always knew that Jeonghan was someone objectively good-looking, but there was a catch, even though Jeonghan was beautiful you didnât really feel attracted to him and he knew that. Countless times you told him he was too pretty for his own good along with the lines that he wasnât your type, âwhat the fuck that supposed to meanâ he answered the first time you said that, back in high school. With time it turned out to be your standard answer to every girl that was attracted to him and wanted a shot with him but somehow thought he was your boyfriend.
You know that Jeonghan is good-looking, and you know that for fucking years so why are you going a little insane every time you get in the kitchen and the man is cutting some onions? Truly it happens in the weirdest hours, out of nowhere, your brain reminds you how hot Jeonghan is - and that is even scarier because you knew that the man was handsome, but hot? Thatâs a new development. Once he arrived from his morning run, his hair a little damp, sweat dripping down his neck, and only with a thigh shirt because he already removed his go-to wind-breaker and you almost collapsed on the kitchen floor. That alone was mind-blowing.
The horrors begin when you just couldnât deal with his touch without your mind going to the fucking gutter. When he touched your hips to make your move because he wanted to open a drawer, or when he dropped down on the sofa without leaving space between your bodies, his hand tapping your thigh. Out of nowhere, you are combusting because his hand feels hot against your skin, goosebumps appearing across your skin Jeonghan asks you if you are cold. And the fact that Jeonghan is touching you isn't necessarily super weird, he always did that, but somehow you feel that his touches changed and you can't quite pinpoint how besides the fact that you are reacting differently.
It doesn't really help your case that Jeonghan develops a weird habit of wrapping his arm around your neck. It happens everywhere, even in public and every time you can feel yourself grow a little hotter. You were supposed to pay attention to Minghaoâs new paintings, a designer slash illustrator slash painter whom you worked with for a few book covers, and somehow in the middle of the opening of his new exposition, you canât even think about the impasto on his oil paintings because Jeonghan hands feels heavy on your neck, his fingers touching the lateral of it almost rubbing. Every time you take a step to try to see the paintings up close Jeonghan doesnât let you leave his hold, his body close enough to be pressed against your back, half of your back feeling hot because of his presence, half of it feeling cold because of his absence.
âHao!â You say when you finally see the man of the hour, black hair on black coats, his hands behind his back looking around all the people that came just to appreciate his work.
âHey,â He says opening his arms for you.
âCongratulations,â you say feeling the arms of Minghao around your back, your body though prefer to pay attention to the weight of Jeonghanâs eyes on you, âeverything is mind blowing,â you say to the man - his hands still on your body, yours on his shoulder, until you hear Jeonghan clearing his throat in order to get you to notice his existence, and you almost laugh, âHao this is Jeonghan, Jeonghan this is Minghao.â
âGreat job man,â Jeonghan says in a weird tone, giving Minghao two little pats on the back and taking a step by your side, his hand on your waist.
âThank you,â Minghao says politely, like he always does, âIt is a pleasure to meet you, you are in the book industry too?â Minghao asks with his hands in his pocket,
âNo,â Jeonghan almost scoffs, him? and books? God forbid, âI work with investment these type of things,â
âOh, so you are not in the art business then,â Minghao acknowledges and you know his interest peaked even though you don't know why, maybe because you know Jeonghan so well you don't have much to unfold, while Minghao just seems weirded out by the fact that you have a Wall Street dude by your side.
âOh Hao you always flatter me when you include me in the art business,â you say jokingly, reminiscing one of the many conversations you had with Minghao over a bottle of wine.
âI told you," a sly smile across his face, "books are a matter of passion.â
âYou did,â you say somewhat reminiscing of the talk you two had back then. It was after calling him up for his second cover, after a meeting where he made you go through the book's motifs and ideas so he could have a feeling of what he should focus on.
âYou should come to the after party,â Minghao says, âwe could catch up,â
âYeah I donât think we can,â Jeonghan says while he checks his watch, he knows the question wasn't directed to him, he isn't stupid and he has two eyes, but he also is a stubborn motherfucker and now he just wants to ruin Minghao's night, and he is not about to Banksy this place up with shredded art pieces - because he is afraid his bank account can't take the lawsuit. âI have a work meeting tomorrow morningâ Jeonghan reminds you, his fingers still on your waist.
âStill,â Minghao says, looking puzzled by you two, âyou can stay right?â
âIâm afraid I canât,â you say sorry âHan is driving us back so-â
âIs your phone number still the same?â Minghao asks without dropping a beat, and Jeonghan can give him that, he doesn't know Minghao but the guy just doesn't quit - he knows a stubborn guy when he sees one.
âYeah, I didnât change, but if you need you can e-mail me and-â You say before someone calls Minghao, it is his opening after all, a guy in the suit makes a gesture to him when the three of you look to see who was the owner of the voice.
âSorry, I have to go, but I will call you," He says before giving you a kiss on the cheeks and walking to the guy who just called him.
Jeonghan snorts, really, what was that? He shouldn't find it so funny but it is. He takes a step back, his hands leaving you, while he looks at the painting. You know he is just pretending to analyze everything.
âWhat?â You ask him - missing his hand on your waist, on your neck, missing his presence around you.
âNothing,â he says shaking his head, he is biting back a smile - laughter really, and you want to know what it is so funny, you are curious about what is going on in his head.
âIt canât be nothing come on,â you press on, your hand on his shoulder in a way to get some sort of touch from him, to regain some sort of proximity.
âJust-â Jeonghan stops, in front of another painting, his hand going back to your waist, and at the same time you think you can finally breathe again, your breath feels trapped in your throat, making you swallow on nothing, âYou didnât tell me it was an opening night to your ex-fling," he says. Eyes almost tinkling under the light and you know where this is going.
âHao isnât my ex fling what are you talking about?â You pretend, trying to get out of this situation because you know somehow Jeonghan will pry on, and he knows how to push your buttons enough just so you can spill everything he wants to know.
âNot fling then," Jeonghan says, hand still on your waist when he starts walking around the gallery with you by his side, until another painting that he really doesn't really care about, "an one night stand.â
âHe is a friend," almost rolling your eyes at him, "I told you, I know him because of work,â
âSo you are telling me you guys didnât fuck?�� And even though his words my seem harsh his tone is still light - he was truly a jerk but why are you smiling at him?
âJeonghan, what the fuck?â You yelped, making Jeonghan's sly smile appear again.
âWhat?â He asks eyes still on you when you pretend to pay attention to the orange painting in front of you.
âKeep your voice low,â you mouthed, âwe didnât fuck,â you tell him again, and it was the truth, but somehow Jeonghan knew how to read between your words.
âWell,â he began, still looking at you even when he tilted his head to the side, a sly smile still on his face like he could see through you like you couldn't keep anything under wraps, and you could feel the goosebumps on the nape of your neck, your whole body tingling, âI am pretty sure it wasnât for lacking trying on his part.â
âIt would be too messy,â you finally blurt it out.
âAh of course," Jeonghan laughs again and it almost sounds bitter to you, "so he did try, it was after or before saying the book and passion line?â
âAfter,â you say, your time to laugh, even though you feel the heat on your skin, a crazy addition to new feels because you are not one to actually feel shy around Jeonghan.
âAnd you laid him down too gently,â he acknowledges, eyes moving through the room again. You follow his gaze, seeing Minghao watching the both of you across the room, you just greet him with a smile.
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â You ask him, pressing your body on his sides until his arms are back on you.
âWell," Jeonghan breathes, his eyes still rummaging around the room, "I know you can break a guy's heart but apparently you lost your touch with that one because he is still down to fuck.â
âJeonghan!â You gasped, âNo he isnât you are seeing things like you always do.â You tell him, Jeonghan had this weird superpower that he tuned in college - he could tell a guy was somehow interested in you from miles away, the first few times you actually made a bet on it; fifteen dollars, to pay him for a meal, to go with him to a frat party that his friend Soonyoung was hosting. After the fifth time, you just learned that was better to trust his judgment on it.
âOh yeah, it truly takes a mind reader to see a guy ogling you across the room and telling you to show up at the after party even tho you have a guy on your arm," Jeonghan almost scoffs, then he leans down, his mouth close to your ear, "truly, his intention was indeed to talk about the impasto or the lighting or the shadow of his hard-on,â
âJeonghanâ you accuse again slapping his arm playfully, laughing at his antics âIf I trusted you my ego would be in the clouds because every walking human being apparently wants to fuck me according to you.â
âNot everyone but a great part of it, sure." He deadpans.
âSure, apparently you are the only exception who else?â
âIâm not,â Jeonghan deadpans again, just shrugging. Because it is not actually something he tried to hide over the years, it is nothing something that he is ashamed of either. And he is pretty sure it is something you already know since college so he doesn't have to lie about it. Jeonghan might be a coward, but he isn't really a liar.
âWhat?â
âI tried to get in your pants my whole high school years," He says, his eyes still on the painting, or everything that catches his attention, his eyes are everywhere really but on you. "I just gave up after the few first months of collegeâ
âWhat the hell?â You try again. Everything feels kind of abnormal in your head. The way that Jeonghan says those words - like he is saying that you two should buy soap the next time you both go do groceries, it freaks you out. How can he be so normal about all of that?
And how could you be so clueless? Everything shifts in your brain - like the earth just changed its axes. He never told you anything closer to this, you are sure of it. You never suspected that Jeonghan liked you back then, or scratch that, that he tried to get in your pants. It seems something so unreal that you are having a hard time wrapping your mind around it - around the idea of a teenager and younger Jeonghan wanting something from you that you never really saw happening.
âWhat the hell what?â Jeonghan stopped dead on his track, finally looking at you, âYou didnât know that?â
âOf course not,â you say exasperated.
âOh, I thought you were laying me down gently too,â he added, in the most neutral tone possible, making your head spin a little.
âNo, I had no idea,â and it is true. You remember everyone from college who thought you and Jeonghan were a couple back then, everyone who found it weird when you two answered that you were just friends. You remember Seokmin, and you think about Seungcheol's words in Vegas and everything is hazed, a little out of focus. âWhy did you give up tho?â You ask him.
âI just,â he says still looking forward and avoiding your eyes like the plague, âI mean, besides the fact that you got into he is not my type phase I would never kiss that man, the fact that I tried for four years and it didnât happen led me to believe that never would, so...â
âI needed to make clear to every girl that was falling and tripping over you that I was not your girlfriend, they were pretty sure we were high school sweethearts back thenâ
âI think everyone we know somehow ends up thinking we are in a relationship,â he says, âI mean, clearly not goth impasto guy because that would be crazy, hitting on a woman with her husband on her side butâ
âYou need to pick up your husband's game,â you say kidding, while walking around the gallery with him, âI was indeed mistaken to be a single woman today.â
âI should have bought a bigger ring,â Jeonghan groaned, making you laugh, weirdly you still have the big ring on your finger.
âThatâs not the answer,â you groaned because the man truly had this weird obsession with this ring and big rocks. You could tell him over and over again how you didnât care about the ring or the rocks and he still found a way to make sure you were wearing the ring.
âAnd what is? If I try to be more territorial within the touch department we would be in jail for public indecency,â Jeonghan says low on your ear, his voice mischievously, while his hand presses on your hips, âShould we just go to jail?â Jeonghan asks, his hands trying to go lower heading towards your butt.
âJeonghan, donât test me,â you say seriously, your hand holding his and bringing up on your body. Why the fuck didnât Jeonghan behave like a proper human being? Why your heart is racing against your ribcage? Why you are enjoying this whole thing?
The whole night you can feel Jeonghanâs hand on you in some way, or on your lower back, your neck, fingers on your shoulder, making his presence known somehow. And every time you think you are starting to understand what happened - what Jeonghan said, what that meant, he touches you again and everything gets a bit hazed, taking you to the start again. Should you read into everything that he said to you? Would you be able to deal with it?
Those questions are still going around your brain in the car back home. Home, that alone was something that didn't make sense either. The air in the car is so thick that you think you can't breathe, the fact that Jeonghan's hand is splayed against your thigh doesn't help with the issue. The curiosity gets the best of you - you want to know all the unsaid things, you want to get under his skin and discover everything Jeonghan even wanted.
He doesn't move his hand, he doesn't stroke your skin, his hand is just there. Again, a reminder of some sort, and you almost laugh - silly of him to think that his presence could go unnoticed by you. Jeonghan has always been there on your mind, and lately even more. It makes your mouth go dry. The feeling is back on the pit of your stomach again. What if? You ask yourself, what would have happened if Jeonghan said those things back then? Would the present be different? Would that have washed away all the curiosity about Jeonghan?
Arriving home you go straight to the sofa and plop down in the middle seat, taking your time to take off your high heels, you donât know why but you still buy pairs with ankle ties - the bane of your existence when it is three hours later and you have a thigh dress on, maybe thatâs why you think you hate those types of event, even though you had a great time, saw a few friends and enjoyed the night with Jeonghan, you always ended up tired with a few blisters on your feet. You can hear Jeonghanâs footsteps around the house while you massage your feet and try to ease the tension.
You turn your body so you can stretch your legs on the sofa, the pain on your calves is killing you. You donât even turn when you feel Jeonghan entering the room, his perfume and the sound of his slippers are enough to make his presence known. It was always like that? Did Jeonghan's presence always engulf you? Did it always make you unable to focus on anything else? Did it always make you question your own sanity? He sits down on the sofa, in the same direction as you, his legs around yours, his front pressed on your back and you hold yourself back because you almost whimper when you feel your body melting against his.
âYouâre tense,â Jeonghan says his voice low, his hands pressing the knots on your shoulders.
âI am always tense and stressed out,â you say, and it is the truth. Jeonghan doesnât need to know that for the last few weeks the fact that he is the number one reason. You almost rub yourself against him, feeling a little bit crazy and hot all over - oh no.
âHm,â Jeonghan acknowledges. When his fingers close around your neck you almost jump on your seat, his thumbs traveling across the knots of your spine, and you are not strong enough to not whimper this time, âthereâs a lot of things you could do to distress.â
âLike what? A guided meditation?â You joke, trying to get away with it, trying to downplay every reaction of your body.
âFuck those apps,â he mutters under his breath, he is so close you can feel his breath against your nape.
âYeah right there,â You say when his thumb presses down in a particular knock on your back.
âThis one?â You just nod, donât trust yourself enough to utter a word that doesnât sound like a humiliated noise. Since when did you turn into a mess in Jeonghanâs hand? But you just accept your fate, feeling how soft your body feels against his. âCan I open this?â Jeonghan asks, his voice so low you barely hear, but he is so close to you that your ears catch his question.
And you still donât trust yourself, so you nod again. Jeonghan drops the zipper of your dress and takes his time to gather your hair in his hands, and taking them out of his way, letting your locks rest on your shoulder. His fingertips trails the collar of your dress again, and you can feel the goosebumps across your skin and you know Jeonghan can see them as well.
You can feel the way that Jeonghanâs fingertips travel down your spine as he opens the zipper of your dress. And you close your arms around your chest, in order to maintain the dress in place because you can feel how loose the fabric feels against your body after the zip is down. But apparently, Jeonghan is not even close to satisfied because his fingers are tugging the straps of your dress down your arms.
Jeonghanâs fingertips are still on your skin, stroking your arms when you feel his lips against your shoulder. Before you can think about anything your own body reacts before you, giving space so Jeonghan can continue kissing the column of your neck. Everything feels a little surreal, a blur, you can't quite grasp-
Then, your cellphone starts to ring bringing you back to reality.
âDonât pick up,â Jeonghan tells you, almost like a whisper against your ear, his hands still around your waist - but then your phone rings again and again and reality comes crashing again and again.
And you want to say that you are ok with almost being undressed on Jeonghanâs lap, that it is ok the way his thighs cage you, that it is ok how his hands feel hot against your body and how his lips feel against your neck. But your phone rings again and it must be important so you stretch yourself and try to find your phone inside your bag by feel. When you finally can reach the phone dies, and you can feel Jeonghanâs smile across your skin - like he just won. But before you can drop the phone you feel it ringing again, and when you pick up the big font appears on the screen âseungcheol is the bestâ. You can feel Jeonghanâs hand freeze against your body, the way he just goes rigid.
âDonât pick up,â He says again but now something is different - his voice is not low.
âIt must be something important,â you reasoned, because it is true. You have been trying to get a hold of Seungcheol since before leaving Vegas and yet the man didn't answer you once.
âJust-â Jeonghan tries, and you can feel his squeezing your shoulders again, almost in a silent plea.
âI havenât talked to him since Vegas, it must be something important,â You say, your own hands going to his in an effort to show him that you understand what he is trying to say.
âAre you truly doing this right now?â Jeonghan asks and when you don't answer him he already knows.
You look at him but Jeonghan just gets up and off the sofa and leaves the room, in the end, you choose to just pick up your phone and answer it with a low âHey cheol,â so low that Seungcheol asks if you were sleeping.
Seungcheol tells you he wants to meet, to talk about things. And you say yes because why not? You pick yourself up and close your dress. Before going to your room you stop at Jeonghan's door and before you lose all the courage that you have in your body you knock on the door, nothing, and you try again just to hear the sound of the shower across the room when you glue your ear against the door.
When you lie on your bed you don't really can close your eyes. You feel restless, your mind wavering, and you can't stop thinking about Jeonghan.
What would that mean?
If you took that leap would Jeonghan be there if everything fell apart? A shiver runs down your spine because it is the first that the answer would be a no. You ask yourself why now. What made Jeonghan change?
And you can't even look back anymore - you can't even think about your friendship with Jeonghan without it being tinted, his words echoing in your brain, "I just gave up". You play the whole conversation back in your head, almost like an old VHS tape - rewinding and pressing play, trying to see everything in another angle, rewinding, asking yourself what that meant, rewinding, thinking back, rewinding and pressing play - unfolding all the touches, and the times Jeonghan's hand lingered on your body.
You rewind until the sleep gets the best of you when it is already bright outside.
You wake up to the sound of your phone, Seungcheol calling you because he will run a little late, of course, you say while he just laughs because it is so clear that you were sleeping. When you run down the stairs, almost falling on it because your brain isn't functioning yet, you don't find Jeonghan anywhere. When you look at the fridge and there are no new notes, your heart breaks a little.
The coffee that Seungcheol chooses is pretty, and not very crowded, and even though Seungcheol is late is not a big deal, you use the time to go over a few manuscripts and spreadsheets with a cup of coffee on your side. Or at least you try to, but the truth is that you send Jeonghan a few messages and every time your phone pings you need to check if he is the one answering you - it isn't.
When Seungcheol arrives, you see him first, still from afar, his hair is shorter now. You almost laugh because that is definitely not a Seungcheol's choice, nor a haircut. His hair screamed his fiancĂŠe's name.
"Hey stranger," he says sitting across from you.
"Hey yourself," you greet him back, almost laughing at how awkward this whole thing is. Seungcheol and you walking around eggshells. Neither you nor Seungcheol wants to start talking about the whole elephant in the room - Yoon Jeonghan.
You ask him about the wedding preparation, it is going nice he says, he was late because he needed one last fit on his suit. His mother nagged over and over about how he shouldn't wear a navy blue suit, his future wife nagged about how it couldn't be black because the whole vibe of the afternoon wedding was different from a night wedding.
"I'm just happy that you guys worked everything out," Seungcheol says after a while, sipping on his coffee.
"Cheol," You try your heart already tugging on your inside.
"No really," he smiles at you, the way he always does - with a fondness you can't quite handle, like after all those years he still sees you like the kid you once were. Someone who didn't really have hold of her life and in a way, after all those years you feel like that again. "I did a lot of thinking," Seungcheol chuckles, "I think that I always have been envious of Jeonghan in a way," he breathes loudly, almost trying to gather up courage, "here I was, with my wedding date set up and still having doubts about how I feel and if I should go on with it." Seungcheol scratches her head almost like he is ashamed to tell you the truth, "And there is my friend, right? I think that the thing I always admired about Jeonghan was how consistent he was, you know me, in that way, we are alike right? We see shine things and we run towards them, a new project, a thing we like, don't even say anything about the golf gear I swear to god," he says abruptly making you laugh, and it was true in that sense you and Seungcheol were very much the same. "But Jeonghan is consistent, that man's mind is a fucking rock," Seungcheol says like a jab and you can understand why, "and yet he is more sure about you than I am about my fiancĂŠe really. And he has been sure for years, I still don't know what made him make a move-, he didn't talk to me prior to that, but I am truly happy that you guys figured it out, it took you long enough."
"I don't even know what to say," you breathe, looking at Seungcheol. You can't blurt out the words - physically unable to tell him. You think about what you should say, you should tell him -'we are not together', 'we didn't figure it out'. You want to tell the truth, you want to come clean, but you just can't. "But yeah, he has always been there for me" you laugh a little soulless. It is not a lie either, but it is not the whole truth, Yoon Jeonghan has always been there for you, but now all the other pieces of the puzzle are coming together. "I think the only thing that hurt him was you going on and on about his commitment issues or whatever.
"It's-" Seungcheol breathes, "it wasn't like that. I mean, sure, he can't commit to anyone who isn't you," he shrugs, "I think it was back when you were going out with that lit kid right? god" Seungcheol laughs, shaking his head like he just found a memory in his treasure box, "Jeonghan was so jealous back then," Seungcheol continues, reminiscing, "he would get furious every time that guy would give you a letter, a poem, anything really. I don't know how you didn't catch up on how much he hated that guy's gut if he dissed the poor kid."
"I just thought-" you stop to think about it, "I don't even know what I was thinking back then, but I never once thought it was because of jealousy, he was dating like 3 girls at the same time back then," you tell, felling the bittersweet taste on your mouth.
"Well," Seungcheol takes another sip, "you know Yoon Jeonghan, when he doesn't get what he wants he tends to fuck everything up and push himself to do shit just out of spite. His high school crush and love of his life found her first boyfriend, how do you think he would handle that? What he could do about that? Try to write poems better than Mark? He tried to believe they were all shitty, trying to forget you was the last thing he could do for himself, even that didn't actually work."
And you feel like you are about to go into overdrive.
It is one of your flaws really, you were never one who would react quickly - your brain always trying to assess and digest everything before being able to take a leap. The problem was that you needed to unpack more than ten years, to go through every file of your life with Jeonghan and try to find a new meaning, trying to find a clue, in search of something you don't know yet, but that could make you understand, or realize.
You spend the whole day feeling a weird taste in your mouth.
The thing is, you can't quite pinpoint what are you feeling, you can't really name it. It somehow resembles feeling betrayed, you think, that you have a cheating boyfriend and everyone knows his secret but nobody has the courage to tell you, and when you actually find out you are the last one to know.
You take your time walking around town and even figure out the longest route to Jeonghan's house.
Even that sounded weird rolling off your tongue.
You try again - picking random memories to try to see if you can find a hiding meaning somewhere, a clue, evidence of Jeonghan's feelings. A crush you could understand, something small like an affection with an expiration date you could understand. You could understand the curiosity that grew in the past month.
But Seungcheol's words didn't point to that, Seungcheol's words were actually pointing in the opposite direction of that.
And if you were being honest with yourself, that made you afraid.
âI talked with Seungcheol,â you blurt out when Jeonghan finally arrives.
âYeah, we are not going there,â Jeonghan says seriously, without looking at you - avoiding you at every cost. It is a tell, a clue that he doesn't want to talk about it. You don't want either, if you could you would never go there again, but you need to, because living things like they are right now, messy and all over the place aren't working.
âJeonghan,â you groan, âwe need to talk about everything that happened in Vegas, his wedding is in a few weeks."
âI think you were there when he said I wasn't invited so I am not really following right now," Jeonghan says his voice stuffy because his head is inside the fridge in search of something, maybe he is just trying to not look at you.
"He told me you are not answering his calls," You tell him, and before Jeonghan says anything he just scoffs and closes the fridge door without taking anything out. He doesn't actually move, but he doesn't look at you either, his head is hanging off his shoulders, and you know Jeonghan so well that you know that nothing will make him move. You know you are not going to win, but yet you press it on, because you are tired of things being left unsaid, of Jeonghan bottling everything out and things ending up being your fault.
"Why are you being so fucking stubborn about this?" You ask watching Jeonghan just shake his head, "he is your best friend."
âYeah like Seungcheolâs is flawless,â he bites back.
âJeonghan this is not the point right now-" You start before he cuts you off.
âIt is never the point right?â He asks you, finally looking at you, still holding his weight on the counter, "Is never the point, is never the right time, is never them it is always me fucking it up because it is Jeonghan he is not serious, he can take it, you guys can go on and on and god forbid if someone doesn't wanna take more bullshit from you."
âCome one donât get angry with me,â you plead.
âOf course, right, I can't even get angry," Jeonghan says before he heads to walk out of the kitchen.
"Jeonghan," You almost beg making him stop and look at you, "we really need to talk about everything."
"Talk about everything or for you to be Seungcheol's spokesperson?" He says, and when you don't answer he completes, "Then no, we are not talkingâ
âOf course, because that will solve everything," you say almost groaning, "he is your best friend for god's sake, he still thinks we are in a somewhat relationship, he wants to talk to you, he feels guilty for being an asshole. He is sorry." You try almost stomping your feet at every word.
"Well, good for him," Jeonghan says like words don't have enough weight to make him care.
"Come on Jeonghan I'm trying here," you whine.
"Trying to do what exactly?" He asks, "Did you ever think about what actually happened since Vegas?" He says finally looking at you, and you feel even worse. He almost laughs when you don't answer. "Okay, I did, I spent every single second thinking about it and I am really fucking tired of thinking about it. I tried to put it through a different lens, I tried to put myself in other people's shoes, I tried to be reasonable and understand everyone, look I really did, and I did a great job understanding that you forgot the whole damn thing, of course, you can forget me telling you that I am head over hills for you sure, you can forget that you were the one who kissed me back then sure, of course it happens, I mean," Jeonghan scoffs, "I understand for years what is a few more months right?"
"Jeonghan-"
"No, let me finish this because somehow it will be my fault again so let me make everything clear," he says - back again looking at every corner around the kitchen but not laying an eye on you; "Seungcheol knows, he always knew about everything, he knows how many girlfriends gave me fucking ultimatum and I always choose you. He knows how many women broke up with me because they knew I was in love with you, sure, everyone in my fucking life knew but you - I understand that too sure," he stops, breathing loudly and you feel the lump around your throat way to thigh, "and he fucking knows that if I could I would've got over this sooner, so yeah, maybe I was too fucking sensitive when my friend act like I was a fucking coward who has commitment issues and would never do anything about it sure, it's my fault great, I can be responsible for that. I can take that sure, I can take Seungcheol, what I can't take is you playing dumb after last night, that I can't take it, and to be fair I don't want to, I don't have to, and you don't have a lot of excuses this time, I guess you remember right? And I think that time I made myself pretty clear so this time you must know right?"
You have been building your life around Jeonghan's for years. In a way, Jeonghan's life and yours were beautifully intricate, to the point that you weren't quite sure where one ended and one began. You think about how would your life be without Jeonghan's presence, and how would your future look like. And that scared the shit out of you.
"And that took you how many years Jeonghan?"
"Don't do that," he says and his voice feels almost small.
"Sure, I am sorry if I'm being fucking selfish right now, but you had your own time to think about everything, right? You have had years to come to your own terms? I'm freaking out here, do you think that's easy for me? Do you think it is easy to think about the aftermath if this goes wrong Jeonghan? Sure I understand that maybe that is your tipping point great, I understand that, but you are my friend and I don't fucking know how we will go on if we fuck everything up," you laugh, "I think we already passed that apparently."
"We didn't fuck it up," Jeonghan says, "Why can't you trust me for once?"
"I do," You say, and it is the truth, you trust Jeonghan with your life, "I do, I am just scared. You took your time to figure everything out, but every time I look back now I think about everything you didn't tell me,"
"I told you everything," Jeonghan says and you can almost feel his desperation, "I was sincere about everything,"
"Now you are just telling lies," you say laughing dryly.
"Sure I didn't tell you everything, but the things I haven't told you are small in comparison."
"The fact that you like me isn't small Jeonghan," you say, and it finally downs on you, that this - his feelings are a huge thing that you can't quite hide.
"What I am trying to say is-" Jeonghan says, finally taking steps and getting closer to you, "I will not go anywhere," you hear him - even though it feels like he is whispering, "even if we fuck up, even if this doesn't work out, I will not go anywhere, if that's what you are afraid of then you have nothing to be afraid. I won't go anywhere because that would kill me more than would hurt you, and even though everyone around me thinks I am a masochist I would prefer not to die."
"I would rather not hurt you," you say and you feel like you could cry, "I am sorry if I ever did."
"You did," Jeonghan says, taking your hand, and holding it firmly like that act alone can show you how serious he is, "but nothing I couldn't take, even If you hurt me again, I can take it, I will take it."Â
Even if both of you don't want to, things stay a little weird between the two of you for some time. Like both of you are back to being so conscious of each other presence that it is just weird to jump right back at it, or, actually, take a step in another direction. But things fall back into place - more because of Jeonghanâs attitude than yours. He is the one that calls you for dinner, and he is the one that hugs you when you enter the kitchen.
He is the one that is trying to make things not weird. And you love him for it, you just love him, heatedly.
And the thing is, you always loved Jeonghan, but somehow, this kind of love and appreciation feels new and it is so scary, it makes you realize how everything is so fragile. But, at the same time - it makes you curious, it makes you wonder, it makes you act first just to see Jeonghanâs reaction.
Like when Jeonghanâs is whining about something and how he wants to quit his work so bad and you just hug him - almost melting against his back, placing your chin against his should and you can see Jeonghan freeze for a few seconds before he starts to pay attention on the food again.
Or when you start to watch a movie together and Jeonghan just melts in your lap, falling asleep while your hand goes through his hair. The next day when you whine about it he sweats to God he didn't sleep, he was paying attention to the movie, if you want to he can say the whole movie plot and all.
When the first Ttoram prototype arrives you are so excited that when you both place the little bunny on the dinner table, when she flops down - face diving because her head is too big - you are so happy for him that you just hold his face and place a quick kiss on his lips. Jeonghan looking at you wide-eyed. You almost start to laugh before you mutter:
âI told you, her head is too big,â you say trying to place Ttoram upright again.
âIt is her charm, her brain is so big that she is dumb,â He says his voice weirdly fond, hands on your body pulling you into him.
âYoon Jeonghan,â You stare at him - that weird mischievous smile on his lips, âwhat is that supposed to mean?â
âYou should be honored,â Jeonghan says, holding your face almost making you yelp because his hands are so freaking cold, âYou are my muse after all.â
And you almost curse him. But the thing is Jeonghan is cute, so will let it pass.
The thing is most of the time you are giggling and kicking your feet at everything Jeonghan does - that crush is so weird because you used to be stronger than that, now you are just falling in all of his antics, and boy doesn't he love it.
He just says the weirdest things out of nowhere just so he can hear your laugh. He holds you every time he has a chance, just pulling you close to hug you. But his favorite part of this new thing is how movie night now is just the two of you starting a movie to just act like a horny teenager.
Jeonghan is always the one who initiates it in a way. Sometimes is just caressing your arm before you start kissing him and licking against his mouth. Sometimes he feels bold enough and places his hand under your hoodie. The details always change but he always ends up with a hard-on and feeling like his younger self.
And it is happening again, his cock is hard, and he can barely hear the movie that is playing on the tv because you are kissing him and he can feel himself melting against the bed, like his whole body is going limp.
It is stronger than him, really. He wants to stay calm and collected but before he knows it he is already a whimpering mess, fingers digging in on your waist, his hips moving on their own, searching for some kind of pressure.
It is such a weird feeling, feeling so boneless and yet, feeling like he is a string - being pulled thigh enough he is about to snap at any minute.
When you break the kiss Jeonghan almost whines but before he can say anything you are already kissing his jaw so he just breathes loudly - accepting everything you want to give him.
âCan I suck you off?â You ask low on Jeonghanâs ears and he almost drop dead right there, like a fucking high schooler, like a teenager who just cum on his pant and drop dead when see a woman naked. And that would be fucking humiliating. He waited for so long he can't just burst a fucking nut in his own pants.
Jeonghan wants to answer you, he wants to say yes and maybe even mutter a please and thank you but somehow his brain is not even working properly, he is beyond dumb. But his dick is hard against his pants and he cannot even think properly - his brain is working overcapacity right now to try to take everything in.
So he does the only thing he can do in the moment - he pulls you into a kiss, and it is messy but Jeonghan doesnât really care, focusing on the way you taste against his tongue. Jeonghan feels your cold hand against his stomach and he almost jumps at the spot, but you just whimper against his mouth when he does the same thing.
Jeonghan thinks the two of you are beyond niceties - you just told him you want his dick in your mouth, so he lets his desires win, while one of his hands is holding your waist under your shirt, the other one he uses to grope your ass. He squeezes your ass and at the same time, he tries to get your body even closer. You end up with your leg over him, across his hips, Jeonghan with his last functioning neuron takes the chance to shove his hand under your shorts too.
âHan,â you say when you come up for air, hand still splayed across Jeonghanâs body. âCome on,â you try again whining.
âHm?â Jeonghan questions, his eyes almost closed and his head bent.
âYou donât want to?â You ask, voice low, taking the time that he uses to think about an answer to trail your lips across his neck, sucking at his skin, âI really want to but if you don't that's okay?â
âHm?â Jeonghan mumbles - for a second he has no idea what are you talking about, his mind focused on how you feel against his hands, the weight of your body against him, how every curve of your body is pressed against his, how you smell and you taste.
âSuck you off,â you say again against his neck, almost petulantly like Jeonghan isn't paying attention, and he really isn't, but you shouldn't blame a man.
âFuck,â he says almost whimpering.
Jeonghan was never like this - in his life nor in bed. He was never a mess, not to this point. Jeonghan always pretended to be somewhat collected, holding the strings of his life tight enough he could make his own choices, but it was never like that when the topic was you. So when the feeling pools on his belly, a reaction to how your fingers feel against his throat, taking matters into your hands when you grab Jeonghan's chin and maneuver his face in an angle so you can have access to more of his skin.
Jeonghan thinks he can die like this - almost dry-humping your leg. But apparently, you have other plans, your hand tugging at his joggers. Jeonghan's only reaction is to lift his hips, trying to help. It doesn't help much, but it is enough for you to shove your hands under his underwear, making Jeonghan shiver. When your hand finally finds his dick he almost melts, the tip of your things trying to map out everything before you apply pressure on it. He moans softly before closing his eyes.
He wants to be patient and wants to take whatever you give him, but the truth is he can't quite hold back anymore. His hands left your body so he can get hold of your face, kissing you. "Want to see you," he tells you, using all his strength to take one of the straps of your pajamas down. Kissing your shoulders, trying to map your collarbones with his mouth.
When Jeonghan tries to move the strap down your arm you don't budge, shaking your head telling him no, "don't want to stop touching you," and Jeonghan almost short circuit when your hand wraps around him and give his dick a few tugs.
"I know baby," Jeonghan coos, almost delirious out of his mind, his hand holds your wrist and takes out of his cock and the way that you just whine makes him even more desperate. His whole body is limp, almost melting. Jeonghan thinks he might die if he doesn't get naked, but he is too entertained with the view of your boobs in his face.
He knows there is an easier way to do this but fuck it, he is not in his right mind. Instead of taking out your flimsy excuse of a pajama Jeonghan just shoves It down, tugging at the end of the fabric while he kisses your chest. The way that you hold his head is so delicate that makes Jeonghan feel weirdly treasured even if he is completely debauched lapping at your skin. And Jeonghan takes his time, appreciating every inch of your skin
He could spend hours like this, he thinks - almost melting against you, kissing your chest lazily. He drags his tongue across your skin until he can reach your nipple, his hands come up your body until he can grab your boob so he can angle just right before his mouth is back to your body. Jeonghan thinks he can die like that, it would be a good way to go - your fucking tits on his face, your body pressed on his, his hard-on against your thigh, everything feels dizzy. When you shove your chest on Jeonghan's face, holding his face against you, he just takes it because he is so down and so horny that taking it is the only thing he can do.
"Hannie," you call and Jeonghan really just has enough strength to look up at you, without his mouth leaving your chest, "Just let me-" you try to say without much control of your own situation.
It is not like you are in your right mind either. Jeonghan's hands feels warm on your skin, and he holds you so tight that you think about the aftermath of his grip - you should make a mental note to check for marks after this, and that alone makes you tremble. You can only think about how Jeonghan's body feels against yours, how his mouth is still on you, and you want to cry because it is just so good but not enough. You feel you might cry. Or worse, die.
You press Jeonghan down until his back is pressed down on the mattress. And God he is so pretty, it makes you almost feel delirious.
When you sit down on Jeonghan's hips he feels like he is almost dying. Everyone he ever wanted felting very pale in comparison when he lay his eyes on you - hair already a mess, lips red from kissing him, flimsy shirt pooling at your waist. Your hands sneak under his shirt, and he almost laughs, damn he must be looking so dumb right now - feeling and behaving like a fucking virgin while his crush is on his lap, taking her time with him. You lift Jeonghan's shirt, dragging your hands underneath it, almost whining and frustrated when the shirt doesn't stay around his neck. Cute - he thinks, when you pout Jeonghan realizes he said that out loud.
"Just take it off," you whine again, tugging at his shirt.
Jeonghan just nods, holding your hips for leverage until he is sitting upright, holding the back of his shirt and taking it off in record time, before Jeonghan lies down again he feels your hand on his chin, holding him so you can kiss him again. Damn, he is lucky. But before he can think another thought you are pushing him back on the bad again, his hand on your hips.
Your hands travel on his body, caressing him - making him feel so close to losing his mind it is almost ridiculous. When Jeonghan's feels your fingers graze his neck he feels almost delirious, when your hand palms his chest and your digits press against his nipples it Is his time to whine, he almost feels like it is just too much, maybe he is closer than a step away from coming in his pants.
One of your hands is splayed against Jeonghan's stomach when the other one tugs the waistline of his pants, pulling the elastic band and letting it hit against Jeonghan's skin. You shuffle around his hips, sitting on his thighs now and Jeonghan is ready to complain when you tug on his pants again, this time actually getting the cloth to move and get it stopped by Jeonghan's hard-on.
"Baby," Jeonghan mumbles, "that's too much," he tries again, but apparently there is nothing he can say to make you stop - and in all honestly he doesn't want you to.
Jeonghan thinks he will die if he doesnât get his dick free. Even though he doesnât want to he takes the hand off your ass so he can take down his joggers, shoving his underwear down at the same time, his other hand still firm on your waist.
When your fingers close against Jeonghanâs shaft he almost sees stars. You give him a few experimental tugs. He feels so breathless, how is that even possible?
You almost scoff, looking at how even his dick is pretty - really, you should complain because it is so unfair. You press your finger on his slit, collecting the drop of precum, and the way that his dick twitch it makes your mouth water, but before you can even complete your thoughts Jeonghanâs hand is holding your face and bringing it down to another kiss.
If it was up to Jeonghan he would kiss you the whole night, but you had other ideas, using one hand to shove him until he is lying again when the other one is still on his dick. He is pretty sure he can feel your taste against your mouth but yet he feels parched. When you start to press kisses on his body, the only thing Jeonghan can do is take it.
Jeonghan thinks you want to wreck him. He feels you press your lips against his nipples, his hips buckling on its own, and you stroke his dick a little bit harder. Jeonghan can barely breathe, yet, without wasting a second you are doing it again - pressing your lips to his other nipple and licking it.
Before he can even wrap his mind around that you start to lick his belly and Jeonghan almost sees stars. He just feels everything, and apparently, your tongue dragging against his skin goes straight to his dick. Jeonghan doesn't know how, but he lifts himself up on his elbows, the view alone could make him cum - you still kissing him, lips on his hips, pressing Jeonghan's dick against his tummy, fingers rubbing his frenulum and he is just so sensitive that he groans before he can hold your hand making you stop.
"Too sensitive?" You ask and why the fuck do you sound so out of it when Jeonghan is being pulled and pushed around the edge?
"A little," Jeonghan answers breathlessly, his tongue dry against his mouth.
"Ok, noted," you say before doing something even worse - placing your lips on the same place before kissing the tip of his dick.
You wrap your lips around Jeonghan can't really control himself, he just pushes his hips slightly so you can take more of him, and god when you moan around him almost makes Jeonghan forget every trace of decency and good bed etiquette. But damn you just look so beautiful sucking his dick, one of your hands digging on his thigh and the other one still wrapped around his dick that it is physically impossible to not thrust his hips up.
"God," Jeonghan says and he sounds so defeated against his own ears, "fuck, you are so pretty," he tries again, looking at you and when he sees you looking up at him, eyes almost twinkling with the praise. And his mind almost snaps - oh, you felt that didn't you? The joy of discovering something every time Jeonghan's hips snapped. He gets it now. It is almost like a power trip. "So pretty, taking my cock," Jeonghan tries again and he almost can feel your moan against his dick before he can hear it.
Every word that Jeonghan mutters makes you take more of his dick into your mouth until he is hitting the back of your throat, god and how he can take that? Your lips around him, your tongue dancing around his dick, the hollowing of yours checks each time you suck him. He is delirious and out of his mind. He tries his best, he really does, but his hips have a mind of its own, and before he knows it he is thrusting up again making you gag around him.
Then your mouth leaves his dick and Jeonghan feels like he is about to collapse, everything just feels so much - the sound, the spit trail, the way your breath is irregular, fanning against his skin - and yet the intensity of feeling nothing makes him mind spin a little bit.
"Come here," Jeonghan mutters trying to catch his own breath. You crawl up his body and Jeonghan can only focus on how messy you look, lips glossy and pink, and he can see the faintest trail of spit on the corner of your lips, he presses his lips there before he drags his fingers on your lips, "I let you suck my cock, can I fuck you now?"
"Please?" You ask back and Jeonghan can feel his dick twitching.
"How do you want me?" Jeonghan says tugging at the bottom of your shorts and he almost laughs when you just shove everything down at once - and he could laugh really, at your desperation but first, he is way worse than you, second you are so pretty that he can't wrap his mind around the fact that everything he conjured up in his mind every time he thought about you when he was lazily stroking himself didn't do you justice.
"You can stay like that," you say, and before Jeonghan can mutter an answer you are already placing your knees on the sides of his hips, his hands automatically going to your waist, his mouth pressing against your collar bones.
One of your hands goes to Jeonghan's jaw, just holding slightly, while the other one wraps around Jeonghan's dick again - and he swears he would say something but his mind goes completely blank when you press your pussy on his dick. Your hips moving to make his cock disappear between your folds, making it drag against your clit, Jeonghan can feel how wet you are and god everything just feels so hot - he feels tight all over, like his muscles are contracting, even the ones he didn't know he had.
"Are you getting off like this?" Jeonghan questions and his only answer is a whine and your hips buckling against him, "Come on baby," Jeonghan tries again, hand now holding your hip, guiding your movements, "I can-" Jeonghan breathes, he doesn't want to say it but, "If you keep going like that, pussy so pretty against my cock, I will cum before I-"
"God," you groan against his shoulder, "can you really?"
"Yeah," Jeonghan almost laugh, his hand grabbing your ass. Of course, he can, he could've come already, but he is dragging this off, he is holding himself back. "Babe," Jeonghan calls you, mouth hot against your neck, "I could've come on your mouth, I'm so hard it is almost painful,"
"Can we-" You almost hiccup, "can we like that" you mumble again, "you can fuck me later," you say and Jeonghan almost sees white.
God, he could cum like that this wasn't even a question, the question was could you? The fact that you were over the edge like him was enough to drive him crazy.
Every time you drag your hips against him Jeonghan's let out a little moan, and he feels so wrecked that he just plants his lips on your neck, sucking at your skin. Jeonghan does not know if it is a reaction or is just because he is losing his mind but he can tell you are getting faster, the rhythm getting a little off, the way you breathe against him, everything just seems too much, and Jeonghan can't take it anymore.
The world stops spinning for a bit - everything just stays still.
Jeonghan is out of it until the sound of your breath brings him back. You are almost pouting. "Did you?" Jeonghan asks, himself breathless too.
"No," You whine and you feel so frustrated that Jeonghan pities you a little bit.
"It's okay," he says - because it is he will take care of it, it's not a problem.
But when Jeonghan looks down he almost cums again. It is so messy. Why there is so much cum? God, he blinks at the view - trying to take everything but mainly you, hovering on his lap.
"Han," You call and Jeonghan is brought back to reality.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry," he says, and it is not like he is in control anymore, his mind Is just gone, he just drops his hand - scooping his own cum and placing it own your pussy. You moan so loudly and Jeonghan can feel your desperation, pressing his digits more firmly against your clit, "Like that?" He questions and you can only nod your head, words falling. Jeonghan holds you close to him, your chest against his, your hand still going between your legs, his other hand holding your waits, "Fuck how can you be so hot," he starts going making you feel a light-headed, "I will eat you later okay?" Jeonghan says, "Don't worry, I will eat you out and I will let you fuck me, you just need to tell me what you need."
"Just," You hiccup, "Just like that."
Jeonghan listens to you, even though the position is not the best to his wrist and he could do so much better - but you just keep babbling on and on about how you are almost there, how he just needs to stay like that, how you are feeling so good that he listens to you, how could he not when you are almost coming undone against his fingers?
And then you bring Jeonghan's face up to a kiss, his mind was too focused on his fingers disappearing against your folds to catch on earlier, but you don't seem to mind when you lick against his mouth and finally cum. Jeonghan holds you against his body for a few seconds when he finally hears you groan.
"God I am so sticky," you complain and he finally laughs.
Jeonghan though, keeps his promise and he eats you out after that, and he fucks you too, and then, he just forgets he has his own room.
It is weird how much you two fit each other. And how seamlessly you two turn into boyfriend-girlfriend situations, or legally, husband-wife, but who cares about silly papers really?
Everything is normal really - Jeonghan keeps saying he need just a better Ttoram version before you two start promoting on social media. You two keep sharing dinners, and Jeonghan even makes a point about how the two of you need to go on a date. You bribe him, telling him he needs to call Cheol before the wedding - and he just shrugs and picks his phone up calling his best friend, you almost scream, it was that easy?
You two share everything, you don't know why but Jeonghan just chooses your bed to sleep in, you question him saying you want to sleep on his bed too - it just smells like you, is nice - he says before making a weird noise after face planting one of your pillows.Â
It comes to the point that you get weirded out when you wake up and he is not on your bed. When you pick yourself up and finally drag your body out of the bed - something weird happens, an unknown voice resonates in your house - okay not yours, Jeonghan's but...
You find Jeonghan in the kitchen, back facing you, sipping a cup of tea with another woman. A very gentle elderly lady, her hair is almost all white, and everything about her screams grandma. She sees you before you can say anything,
"Hi dear," even her voice is gentle.
"Han?" You ask when Jeonghan stares at you, eyes fondly taking up your sleepy self.
"Hey baby, come here," He says opening his arms, "come here Iris was talking about how she was visiting her third grandson can you believe that?"
You could, sure, everything about her screamed grandma in uppercase letters, but what was happening?
"Yes," the old lady answers, "where was I?" she claps before she picks back up again, "See like I was telling you, Aroon's mom is my youngest daughter, and her pregnancy hadn't been the easiest so that's why I couldn't bring the table back," she says and you neck almost snaps, looking at Jeonghan's, he is so proud of himself that you almost scream. "So I'm sorry dear, your husband told me how much it meant to you but I was out of town so-"
God, he looks so proud and so full of himself, he couldn't be happier right now. God, you are so deeply in love with him. You could marry him all over again.
[BONUS SCENE ONE - THE WEDDING}
âAre we doing this for real?â You ask and the world is kinda spinning a little bit, by your side, Jeonghan holds your hand. You both stare at this little chapel, the Elton John one because you said that you would prefer to be married with don't go breaking my heart, Tiny Dancer or even Berry and the Jets as a soundtrack than any of the Elvisâs songs and of course Jeonghan listened, he listened to everything you said. What a fucker, how could you not be in love with this guy? What? Wait-
âOf course, we are doing this, we made a bet,â Jeonghan says still staring at the chapel.
âOnly because we made a bet,â you say looking at him. When Jeonghan turns his head to look at you something inside you sings a bit - like a doll with something in the inside broke and jiggling inside.
âOf course darling, only because we made a bet,â Jeonghan says, holding your hand firmly, he smiles at you, and out of nowhere he is running inside the building and you follow him around because why not?
It seemed like a fucking great idea, and you both did lose the bet, even though right now you can't really think straight - how does a bet work? Can both people lose a bet at the same time? You are not totally sure but you guess Jeonghan is right, it can happen.
[BONUS SCENE TWO - BIOGRAPHY]
When Jeonghan finally opens the hotel door you almost fall in the room, but before you fall face flat on the floor Jeonghan's hands save you from breaking your nose.
âWow, what a gentlemanly husband I have,â You say, tapping his chest.
âSure, sure, perfect husband material right here,â Jeonghan says pointing at himself the door still open.
âYou are,â you gushed, hands on his shoulders searching for some kind of balance, using these high heels shows was so wrong, but you knew at least you would be pretty in your wedding pics, and in the end, thatâs all that matters - the pictures for your own autobiography that you will make for your grandchildren. You always told Jeonghan that you would make one for him too, with every single thing he gave you as a safe keep and the collection of pictures you have of him in different times of his life. You have pictures of Jeonghan with his long hair, with his short hair, the time he died it was almost white because he thought it would be so so cool and ended up hating how it fucked up his scalp. You had the material, you had the story, and you could do his biography, the funny thing now it is that his grandchildren could be yours too.
âWhat are you laughing at?â Jeonghan says, kneeling at your feet and taking your shoes off, wow, a life-saver.
âI just thought about grandchildren,â you squealed in a high-pitched voice that you didnât know you had until Jeonghanâs hand found your hips.
âGrandchildren?âHe asks you softly.
âThe biographies,â you say and Jeonghan nods, âI was thinking about how I always pictured us together when we were gray and old in a nursing home together all that jazz, but know that I thought about it, your family will be my family so the grandchild will be the same kids, I wonât do your biography for your grandchildren I will do your biography for my grandchildren as well that changes a lot of things,â
âLike what?â He asks amused
âI donât know if I want to tell them about the time you were sure to have gonorrhea or something like thatâ
âI do think we can let this story die with us,â
âwait, now that I am thinking about it like we only have one family," You say, a pouting on your lips, and Jeonghan almost melts, "that means only one visit in the nursing home because like when our family as separate entities we would have two families so two visit yours and mine now that I think about it I think we should divorce
âWe are not divorcing," Jeonghan says.
âWe can annul It,â you try again.
âWe won't do it,â Jeonghan says, shaking his head like you are talking nonsense.
âBut two visits are better than one,â You say showing him your fingers and trying to make him understand that two are indeed better than one, boys like girls even sang about this, was Jeonghan dumb?
âI won't have a family if it isn't your family,â Jeonghan says plopping down on the bed.
âOf course you can have a family,â you are sure of it Jeonghan is amazing there is nothing stopping him.
âBut I don't want to,â Jeonghan whines looking at you and you get it, you finally get it.
âDamn boy you are crazy about me,â you say laughing, laying on his side.
âNow you are catching up,â Jeonghan says while his arms close around you.
âStill think two is a bigger numberâ
[BONUS SCENE - SHOULD WE?]
Jeonghan, your husband of three years, is eating on the kitchen counter and you can almost hear the gears in his brain turning and twisting. Sometimes, you think that maybe, Jeonghan is like a toy that he built the week prior, if you pick him up and shake him around you can hear loose parts of him rattling inside of himself.
âWhat are you thinking about?â You ask while opening the fridge.
âShould we go to Vegas again?â He asks taking a bit of his breakfast.
âVegas?â you say - your head peaking and your body stretched so you can face him while the fridge door is open.Â
âI was thinking we should renew our vows,â he says like he is thinking about buying lunch because he cannot bring himself to cook, âyou know, I want you to actually remember our wedding.â
#Yoon Jeonghan fic#Yoon Jeonghan fanfic#Yoon Jeonghan imagines#Yoon Jeonghan smut#Jeonghan fic#Jeonghan fanfic#Jeonghan imagines#Jeonghan smut#Seventeen fanfic#Seventeen fic#Seventeen imagines#Seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt fic#svt fanfic#svt smut#svt imagines#t: writting#t: yoon jeonghan
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more yandere octotrio!
Dedicated to @mr-trick <3 ty for your support
"Your grades have been slipping."
When you had been called into Azul's office, you certainly weren't expecting him to scold you like a parent. To add insult to, well, insult, Jade and Floyd were there, too, and the latter couldn't stop themselves from snickering.
"I wasn't aware that was any of your business." You shot back. You didn't bother asking how he knewâyou'd had twin eels trailing you since Azul's overblot. It was rare for you to go anywhere these days without the sight of one looming at you from this distance. If their heights didn't make them obvious enough, there was the eyes. Though you had a feeling stealth wasn't the goal.
You'd be right. The tweels found it very important that you knew they were close by. Azul may have preferred for them to be stealthier, but they enjoyed your reactions too much. Plus, their presence kept others away. It's probably why Azul let them continue.
But back to the scene at hand.
Azul's response comes naturally, almost too naturallyâas if he was prepared for that response. "Of course it is. The success of Night Raven students has always been my businessâ"
The look you hit him with was enough to stop him in his tracks.
He chuckled, adjusting his tie and his approach. "Of course, business has changed in recent times. In the past the goal was to attract as many poor unfortunate souls as I could, offering contracts with the goal to better myself, and not them. But now I've mended my ways and made a switch, so to speak. Now I wish to truly help and better those I come into contact with, starting with those I already feel close or indebted to. And what better first than the one who helped me see the light in the first place."
He waited for your response, but you offered none. Not unless you included your suspicion.
"Look, business has been rough lately since the incident, and helping you seems like the best way to restore people's faith in me."
"And thus the truth comes out."
You were so proud of yourself for sussing him out. What you didn't know is that that wasn't the truthâlike at all. He didn't give a fuck what the other students thought of him, especially since he was still getting business regardless. This was about you and spending time with you, the strange, magicless student that had caught his attention like a worm on a hook. Buy to you, that would be even harder to believe than an act of true goodwill.
But that didn't matter anyway, because he had you. You agreed to help him out of the goodness of your heartâtaking the opportunity to mock him. It was difficult for Azul to keep the smirk from his face as you fell into his hand. He could tell the twins felt the same way. Even if he couldn't see then standing behind him, he could still tell when Jade's gloved hand went to cover his smile, and when Floyd's slight sway stilled just enough to zero in on you.
With that, a deal had been made: you let Azul help you out of the "goodness of his heart," and you spread the word of Azul's redemption arc.
As soon as you're gone, Azul lets an easy smirk spill onto his face like oil in water.
"We got 'em boys."
What would follow is a series of study sessions, every night, either with Floyd, Jade, or Azul himself. Study session with Floyd rarely involve studying. Sometimes you would start with studying, but heâd always end up getting bored at some point, and then declare you two would be doing something else. Other times, you wouldnât even get a chance to study, as heâd already be dragging you off somewhere before you can even set your stuff down. Floyd, being Floyd, âsomething elseâ could include anything depending on his mood. Some examples of activities youâve done during study sessions with Floyd: karaoke, ping pong, pottery, a treasure hunt all over the school for something Floyd lost a while ago and had suddenly remembered at that moment (it was in his pocket), ballroom dance classes, shopping, video games, baking. You donât even bring any study materials with you at this point.
Jade and Azul are more what youâd expect from tutors.
Jadeâs method of tutoring is hands off. He mostly just has you do your homework while he sits across from you, working on his own stuff. And if you donât have homework or finish before study time is up, heâll give you readings and practice assignments to do. He encourages you to ask him questions whenever you have them, but for the most part, you two are silent. What you donât realize is that he actually spends most of the time just staring at you. Studying you.
Azul is more hands on. Like with Jade, youre expected to either work on a class assignment, or one of Azulâs specially crafted study guides. Unlike Jade, who always sits across from you, Azul sitsâor, more often, standsânext to you. Instead of just silently watching you work, Azul works you through each problem. Heâll often end up hovering next to you, sometimes taking your writing hand in his to guide you through whatever problem youâre working on. He also offers coffee/tea/snack breaks, where you two can just talk, not just about schoolwork, but anything else.
Youâre spending every night with one of them. You often get back to Ramshackle late (especially if it was a session with Floyd). You donât see Horns as much, if at all. Study sessions with your freshman friends become almost nonexistent. Even Grim is starting to see less and less of you everyday.
Who you end up spending the most time with is, of course, the Octotrio. Not just for nightly study sessions anymore. Floyd will approach you outside of tutoring for fun activities. Jade often offers you treats for doing so well, including trips to Samâs and lunch at MostrĂł Loungeâall on him, of course. And Azul often pops in to check in on youâto make sure youâre holding up your side of the deal. And, even if you donât realize it, thereâs always at least one of them waiting to walk you to class.
Itâs no secret that Azul basically always has business on the brain. And this? This was his strategic move to monopolize you, and he got you hook, line, and sinker.
#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#twst#yandere octotrio x reader#yandere octotrio#octavinelle#yandere octavinelle#octotrio#yandere azul ashengrotto#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere x reader#yandere oneshot
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