#like there are paragraphs bestie

[kooki914]

At long last, she makes her debut, My interpretation of the mayor - Clarice Holiday!

I very heavily leaned into the stricter/meaner interpretation of her, because that's essentially all we have confirmed about her in the game rn. Hence, her design is also very deltarune-esque, I tried not too lean too heavily into my own style it in order to keep the vibes consistent with the game. Hopefully I succeeded!

Headcanon(?) dump under the cut! (it's really long)

She's very direct and to the point. If you talk for more than 10 seconds at a time, she'll tell you to either get to the point or shut up.

She has a decently pleasant sense of humour, but you wouldn't assume it based on how she usually talks. Rudy usually makes jokes for the both of them, often as a way to distract Clarice from whatever she was slowly getting pissed off at. Seeing her genuinely smile can be weirdly relaxing, though, like a weight's been lifted.

As mentioned in the accompanying image, she runs on a very strict schedule, for basically everything. If you tell her "I don't know when" for something she will personally make you a timetable for that entire day and be EXTREMELY mad if you don't follow it to the letter per her insistence.

She's kind of superficial - never lets her grey hairs show and never leaves the house without a full face of makeup.

It's mostly a side effect of two of her worst traits: not being able to accept change, and always feeling the need to be in control. These are like habits she can't shake, and pointing them out only makes her agitated and less willing to listen.

Both of these flaws only got worse after Dess disappeared.

Even before then, she always had very high standards for both herself and her family. She was always doing her best to not only project the image of a perfect family, but to fully embrace and embody it.

It's why she's so trigger happy with taking away things from Noelle and Dess she isn't personally invested in. Video games that scare Noelle or "encourage bad behavior" in Dess, any non-family friendly movies, any overly creative and artsy pursuits that she doesn't think would make a good career path in the long run.

Basically the only thing the whole family can agree on is Christmas, hence why their whole image as a family unit is centered around it - it's another projection of the seemingly perfect household.

Clarice very intentionally manipulates and intimidates the people around her to get what she wants, but she genuinely doesn't see it as a particularly bad thing because she's convinced she knows better than everyone else, and is the only one who can "properly" do "the right thing".

She's extremely competitive, even more so than Toriel. They used to bond over that in college, though the only reason Clarice never held a grudge is because Toriel can actually let go of useless competition and let Clarice win basically every time.

Clarice can’t let go of useless competition.

Unironically the only person who saw the flaws in Toriel and Asgore's relationship from a mile away and always thought Toriel should’ve dumped Asgore years ago. She likes talking about how she "knew it all along" and how Toriel should've "listened" to her, etc etc. If Clarice wasn't so petty about this maybe her and Toriel would've stayed close.

“It’s a dog eat dog world” is essentially her unspoken motto. She doesn't say it, though, because she doesn't like when people pick up on her more Machiavellian personality traits.

Clarice always looked down on Asgore for his lack of ambition, which only got worse when he failed to find Dess when she went missing.

The only reason she’s giving him so many chances to pay his rent is because Rudy’s insisting on it, though Clarice hasn’t told him that Asgore’s living in the same building he’s working in. If asked, she'd say it's to "not hurt his feelings", but in reality she just doesn't see their friendship as important enough to help maintain, even indirectly.

That whole debacle made it REALLY easy for Clarice to essentially blackmail Rudy with whatever she wants by using evicting Asgore as a threat, a potential retribution for not getting what she wants. She doesn't do it very often, but the fact that she pulled that stunt even once isn't a good thing.

Their relationship wasn’t always so toxic, though there were red flags from the start.

She really enjoys flattery and things that play into her grandiose idea of herself - she really does like when Rudy complements her and plays along with her games (even when he says things that border on objectifying), but PART of that game is that she always berates him for it or calls it childish or unnecessary, in order to keep up her "untouchable" persona that he's so attracted to.

She loves him in the way a child loves their favourite toy. He goes everywhere with her, they do everything together, and he essentially acts as both her voice of reason and her comic relief sidekick.

When he's not around, Clarice is even more miserable and demanding than usual. When she's not around, Rudy doesn't know what to do with himself and stresses over things that aren't even there. They depend on each other, but it's not healthy, and out of the two of them, it takes the biggest strain on Rudy.

In the bigger-picture sense, it's taken an even bigger strain on Noelle. Clarice is arguably the biggest reason why the poor kid doesn't know how to say "no". Her mom does everything and hardly lets Noelle get a word in. She has to be both fully self-sufficient to live up to her mother's demands, while ALSO fully relying on her like the obedient daughter Clarice wants. Rudy mediates the situation however he can, but admitting that Clarice is HURTING Noelle is nearly impossible for him, because it'd mean admitting that Clarice has been hurting him, too.

Clarice takes great pride in both being a hard worker and a “great” mother and wife all at the same time. She IS the ideal, as far as she's concerned. Any questioning of this will get you metaphorically killed on the spot.

Most people don’t see her problematic behavior for what it is because, by most metrics, she’s “made it”. She’s wealthy, she has a loving family, she has an important and high ranking position. What more could you really want out of life?

She still hasn't accepted that Dess is gone.

[mixtapedoh]

actually you can go with seungmo + winter falls too. i think he's more of a winter falls girlie than lino. actually anything with winter falls 😭🙏

you knew what you were doing when you paired seungmo with my favorite skz ballad,,,,,,, your support and your mind will never go underappreciated in this house ♡♡♡♡♡

ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱɴᴏᴡ ꜰᴀʟʟꜱ (ᴡᴇ ꜰᴀʟʟ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ)

☄. *. ⋆

pairing: kim seungmin x reader (not endgame) genre: angst, reminiscing word count: ~1k warnings: heartbreak, mentions of blood (metaphor and imagery), all thoughts no plot (sometimes fanfiction is about VIBES and VERSE, not cohesive story telling), gratuitous sneaking in and bastardization of song lyrics

olive's notes: you know know i had to go full tumblr for the title of this fic. song lyric titles (with something in parenthesis) how i love you, how i have missed you, how you changed the very synaptic pathways in my brain ♡. nothing will ever be as influential as you ♡.

consider my mini writing event ?

It wasn't the weather that made you think of him.

No, because that would be all too cliche — tidy and neat — something easy to anticipate and, perhaps, simple to avoid.

In a way, you could blame it on the snow: the soft, fluffy flakes too carefree to be cold, spinning on the barely there wind, a graceful pirouette to a gentle, almost forgotten landing. It was beautiful — the first snowfall of the year — and because it's arrival was so benign (unexpected and mild, creeping into the edges of the day until it's whispered chill tickled your skin and it's gossamer flakes were delicately kissing your head), you had no warning against the flood of memory it would bring in it's wake.

It was the couple on the end of the street that reminded you, though, if we're to be fair to the elements and truthful in the story we tell.

Two figures at the furthest distance from your current standing, hand in hand, startled as they walked out of a shop and into sudden snowfall. The leftmost of the two, seemingly more ecstatic than their loving counterpart, stuck out their tongue, angling their head skyward, and after a moment, laughed in delight, or some approximation of it. They turned to their partner, kissed them on either cheek, and then took off their jacket to place around the other's shoulders. Perhaps there was an exchange of half-hearted argument, but the moment ended with the two of them walking off, one double-braced against the building cold, the other habitually turning their palms to the clemency of snow — as though the moment was pure and this weather something to be held.

Snowflakes fell of your cheeks. If you were to be asked, they were to be blamed for any wetness, there.

Memories come in waves, and they are a vengeful and needy sea: demanding to be realized, sure in the devastation they bear. But how long is it before an experience crystalizes into memory? What is the minimum amount of time that needs to occur before that passage is significant and longing for someone can turn into missing them?

You weren't quite sure if it could be called missing him: this gnawing, guilty feeling accompanying your thoughts of Seungmin.

Once, the two of you had been friends so close, no one could talk about either of you without mentioning the other. His footsteps always following yours, your voice a necessary addition to any of his statements. So close your names spilled into the other, so present there was a space carved in the both of you for the other to reside in. Side by side or in tandem, there were always two.

And there were two, that night, when your warmth was carbonated with a fizz of intimacy and bubbles of desperation. You confessed to the secret of loving him and he worshiped that attachment with his lips. Again and again, a mantra that intensified to the fervency of song.

I love you, love you, love you.

And how many times did you say that before the sentiment set to rot, and the permanence of that phrase became something of the past?

I loved you, loved you, loved you.

Again, snow fell on your cheeks, pulling you just far enough out of your mired thoughts, to remind you to finish your walk to that lonesome, quiet destination called home.

You had Seungmin for longer than you held him, and the feeling of his voice in your mind was more resonant that the touch of his lips on yours. Evocative, cohesive, tenacious — something you couldn't yet unstick from the crevices of your thoughts.

Seungmin beside you, Seungmin whispering into the shell of your ear, Seungmin placing his love in the spot where your neck met your shoulders, the crook of your grin, the place above your heart.

But the wind blew, the novelty faded, the movie ended and you were stuck in the credits where words became meaningless and effort was forgotten in the aftermath of spectacle.

The ease corroded, the bitterness spilled, past tense slipped into the habit of your speech until all the tenderness between you was finished and gone by.

I loved you, and it wasn't his words or yours, but something set on the table for the both of you to consume. A sentiment on which you both engorged and drank dry.

Everything had changed, and yet you were somehow still the same. Seungmin had been so clearly and undoubtedly part of you — you carved out his place inside you alongside him! You hollowed out a space for him, and he for you — and yet with the absence of him, should there not have been something desperate and bloody for you to fix? You had searched and pleaded and clawed at the edges of you to find that void so you might set it to rights, but it evaded you, still.

I loved you.

Perhaps it had already healed over.

Perhaps it had never been.

But still, that unfound cavity ached in you. It was filled with the sound of his voice, and the phrases in his diary he'd let you read and you held to committed memory — it was shaped like the palm of his hand when it cradled you, and it contorted to the essence of his grin.

Would it have been different, had you never said anything all that time ago, and instead chose to keep those feelings in a bottle, only to be uncorked should Seungmin, himself, had fallen first and told you so? Maybe you could have kept that bottle of spirits in the most hidden parts of you, and, on nights when your yearning sharpened to the point of a knife, drank from them — an alcohol of illusion — just enough to get by? Maybe he would have found the bottle, and smashed it to ruin, or maybe he would have loosen it and get the both of you drunk off your own delight.

You would have liked it, perhaps, had he been the one to fall.

Maybe then he would stare at the innocence of snowfall and mix the feeling of it's melt with salty tears.

(ʇɹɐdɐ llɐɟ ǝʍ) sllɐɟ ʍous ǝɥʇ 'uıɐɓ∀

☄. *. ⋆

blog home

[cognitosclowns]

Alpha-Beta NSFW Alphabet <3

UM. PRETEND I DIDN’T FORGET TO POST THIS. PRETEND I DIDN’T. LEAVE THIS IN MY DRAFTS THINKING I POSTED THIS PRETEND OUTIS IS COMPETENT. PRETEND THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO OUT IN JUNE PRETEND MY BRAIN IS NOT SMOOTHER THAN A BOILED EGG

smnsmd yea I’ve <33 been wanting to do one of these for a while and who better than my favorite omnicidal robot man <3333

[template here!!]

NSFW BELOW!! minors go away 

THIS IS GONNA BE P LONG BC,, I am unable to shut up about this man + I added to some sections after Part 2 came out so,,, yeah. Brainworms. Expect plenty of sillygoofery, tangents, X Reader, etc. you know the the drill by now MASNDMASNDMASD mwah mwah on y va

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

OOOO <33 BOYE

He. forgets you need to breathe so expect so many dazed little kisses.

Especially right after he cums, while his systems are still fuzzy. Your warmth is absolutely intoxicating. He’s like a lizard on a hotstone.

His tongue feels like a lead ball in his mouth, so they aren’t really coordinated kisses. 

More,, vague lip movements with a bit of tongue <3

He does not have the system functionality to be a little shit + any shyness he has left evaporated around the third time you made him cum <3 

TLDR expect him to be a lot more tender and scrambled than usual!!

It’s probably the messiest you’ll ever see him?? 

Like he,, thinks he’s more competent than he actually is.

All his movements are super jittery, more than a little unbalanced. He’ll go to brush a hair out of your face and instead just. clumsily jam his fingertips your cheek. Absolute tragedy. 

What’s better is he barely realizes it, so SAVOR THAT SHIT!!! 

Usually he makes an effort to seem ~Put Together And Ohoho Superior Lifeform~ etc, etc. 

These moments are rare!!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It isn’t that he dislikes his current form. he’s just,, mostly neutral to it?? 

He doesn’t really have the options to change it, and even if he could there’s nothing he really hates enough to swap out?

Once he’s a bit more independent, sure, he’ll gladly do some experimentation, but for the moment that’s hardly his priority. He’d settle for just. having legs. maybe an arm. please.

THE STREAK IN HIS HAIR DOES FUCK THOUGH AND HE’S FULLY AWARE OF IT. HE TOTALLY KNOWS HOW GOOD THAT LOOKS THAT’S NEVER CHANGING LMAO.

OK THIS IS CLICHE BUT HE REALLY CAN’T CHOOSE WHAT HE LOVES THE MOST ABOUT YOU. 

He finds every aspect of you so,, clever and endearing and absolutely wondrous. he could write a 5000 page thesis about you and still have more to say.

If he was to choose smth of yours it’d be so,, oddly specific.

The way your throat flexes when you swallow. The little blink of surprise when you see him. The way your skin folds when you bite your lip. Scars, birthmarks, burns, stretch-marks, discoloration. Nothing gets him hotter than the little details that make you up.  he’s such a sap at heart.

IN TERMS OF,, ‘CLASSIC’ BODY PARTS?

It’s thighs. thighs thighs thighs he is a thighs man and he’s so obvious about it

He lavishes every part of you, obviously, but his eyes light up a special kind of way when he,, slowly peels off your trousers to reveal that particular section of flesh,

Kisses, hickeys, biting, laying on them so he can stare up at you like a lost puppy to appreciate their softness, having you sit on his face and to feel the weight. Anything and everything. 

The flesh is so,, pliable and gooey. There’s nothing like it <3

[OH, BONUS ONE??? SINCE PART 2 ??? hands. Not quite as intensely as thighs, but if he stares at your hands too long, his mental energy is just gonna melt into fantasies of finger-sucking.]

YES this means he’d 10000% be into thigh-fucking, and he goes as feral as you’d expect <3

GOD <333 there’s like. Tangible friction-heat bc of the speed + intensity - he’s not inside you, there’s no risk of damaging internal organs! I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some friction burns after though. sorry.

Since he doesn’t have to worry quite as much about accidentally hurting you, It gives him a bit more room to be,,, unkempt. [If you want him super sloppy :o that’s gonna be a good option!!]

[BONUS,, if he ups his sensitivity?? and he has his head against/between your thighs?? The pulse of blood through your arteries makes him so indescribably horny. Its like a direct connection to your heart <3]

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

OH he wasn’t,, programmed with cum, because that’s absolutely useless to him. 

It honestly wasn’t even smth that occurred to him because,, what’s the point if he can’t reproduce?

If you ask him for it, he’ll absolutely add it and,,,, uh,, <333 new favorite thing

NEW FAVORITE THING

he develops a breeding kink at lightning speed when he sees his artificial cum drooling out of you <3

he tries to logic his way out of it several times (it doesn’t make sense, he can’t even impregnate you, etc) but. kinks do not care about logic robot man. Start breeding. MSNDMSND

He cums buckets, bc he’s a greedy little bastard who clings to positive sensory inputs. The added slickness and heat and just,, sensation adds so much. 7/10 times your lower half is gonna be absolutely covered in the stuff.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A shameful amount of power is devoted to replaying memories of your escapades. A frankly mortifying amount. His processing speed has tanked since he’s met you, just bc of how much of his RAM (RAM? is that the right term? smb teach me computers sos sdmnsd) is dedicated to fantasies. He always has something playing in the back of his head.

He’s literally taking this knowledge to his tomb and if u ever find out he’ll roll himself into a fountain

Also there’s this Tiny Little Microscopic Infinitesimal Thread of self-loathing that somewhere along the line bundled up into a secret fantasy about wanting to be. dominated and degraded and absolutely ruined by a human. If he thinks too hard about it he’ll give himself a crisis. so. secret kink.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

BABEY HE WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE HAVE FUN <3

alright he has a lot of theoretical knowledge, bc of the whole ‘Plugged Into The Internet Oh God Oh No The Horror’ thing, but he figures out very quickly that,,, theoretical ≠ practical.

(you KNOW the first time you two have sex. it’s gonna realign his fucking humours MSNDMS he did NOT anticipate how good that shit would feel)

HES A FAST LEARNER THOUGH. REAGAN DID A BANG-UP JOB W/ HIS PROBLEM-SOLVING CAPABILITIES SMDNSD

Like,, he’s gonna struggle for a solid few minutes while figuring out the specifics, but it helps to liken it to an experiment - he’s very methodical in figuring out what exactly gets the best reactions out of you. After that, he’s pretty much set <3333 have fun SMNDSMDSNMD

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

WELL,, in his current state he is sort of limited? there’s 1001 ways he’d like to have you but currently he has very few options. Overall he just,, really likes having you Close. If he can’t feel your pulse through your skin you aren’t nearly close enough smsdmsnsmdnsmd

OK IM DIVERTING RQ BECAUSE IF HE WAS REPAIRED??? [alternatively, holo-chamber fun?] <3333

Legs over his shoulders, completely pinned to the bed, not a single thought left between your ears.

HE LIKES THE CONTROL. He likes seeing you all spread out and brainless, soft and pliable for him. It’s such a delight to see you willingly vulnerable - not only do you feel safe enough to be all limp, but you’re asking for more. Rambling nonsensical little gasps n moans while you try to piece together the thoughts you wanna get out. Absolute bliss, he wants nothing else.

ALTERNATIVELY?? just,, super domestic, just-woke-up saturday morning sex. Something about this man tells me he’d like that. The mixture of Super Close and Your Brain Being Mushy feels up his alley?

If he’s bottoming tho? he isn’t picky about positions, as long as he can feel you against him. When he’s getting his guts rearranged, the proximity is more important than the specifics of how he’s oriented. He’ll take whatever you’ll give him, so long as you give <3

TLDR. he flip-flops between kinda-possessive ego-fueling positions where he can see you all strewn out, and super soft n’ gooey positions. the robot man is versatile, what can I say.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Hmmm there’s a timeline here lemme get out the whiteboard

At the beginning? He’s definitely more serious. a few snarky little comments sprinkled in here and there. You’re pretty sure if he doesn’t say smth snippy every 5 minutes he’ll self destruct.

This kinda plays into the Intimacy question later on but,, the vulnerability that comes with sex makes everything very tense for him. It’s easier to be a Scowling Little Bastard during sex than,, all soft and relaxed.

It also helps him disguised how mind-meltingly flustered he is MSDNSMND

He gets there eventually, but it takes some time!! He unwinds more as you two get into it, yk?

Once touch doesn’t feel New And Scary + sex is smth he’s more accustomed to? Expect the Additional Spattering Of His Very Stupid, Very Cheesy Jokes.

You know its True Love (tm) when one day you pull too hard giving him a handjob and pop his dick out of its socket, dropping it on the floor where it just kinda. vibrates in circles.

without missing a beat, he picks it up, holds it to his ear and straight-faced says, ‘Hello? No they’re busy right now, can I take a message?’

Did this man improv an entire 7 minute conversation with someone on his Vibrating Dick Phone, while you cracked up laughing on the bed? Yes. Was that also the day you decided you were gonna marry him? Also yes.

TLDR. the goofs will increase as he settles into the comfortable nook that is your relationship <3 if he’s cracking a few jokes during sex, you’ve won. he’s wrapped inseparably around your finger, have fun!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

NOT NSFW BUT. OH YOU’LL ABSOLUTELY CATCH HIM FUSSING WITH HIS HAIR. AND OFTEN. Come on he’s so prideful there’s no way you won’t catch him fluffing his hair to make the part sit nicer in any nearby reflective surface.

outside of that HE HAS BODY HAIR AND HE HATES IT. DESPISES IT. ITS SO USELESS TO HIM IT SERVES NO PURPOSE AND AESTHETICALLY HE THINKS ITS NIGHTMARISH. HATE HATE KILL.

He comes to accept it when he removes all of it and realizes he looks. Fucking abhorrent. Smooth like an aubergine. He puts all of it back bc that’s the lesser of two evils.

Nice and fuzzy along his arms, chest, stomach, this very dense but well-tended happy trail. Even a bit on his hands? Like right on the knuckles? <3333333

IF YOU LIKE IT THOUGH??? HE’S GONNA BE WAYYYY MORE PARTIAL TO IT, Because this silly bitch has a praise kink like nobody’s business, and if you say he looks good with chest hair, he’ll make sure that shit is thick enough to braid MSNDSMDNMSND

don’t get me started on the color of this man’s hair I feel like I’m in Home Depot comparing paint swatches. He’s a blonde he’s ginger he’s so obviously brunette but also not. like not any of those. but also all of those. this is The Color Out Of Space. I have been debating this with my friends for months and I will never know peace.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He has a lot of trouble Vocalizing his romantic feelings, but his overall affection for you definitely shows more in bed!!

Every action drools with adoration. You’re surprised you can’t see it radiating off him in waves.

His hands squeeze on every bit of skin he can access, he nearly whines in disappointment when his lips leave your skin, he takes every delicacy to make sure you’re cozy and thoughtless and without worry.

Wordless shows of affection, because trying to vocalize his feelings in the way he means them is like. Idk doing a puzzle in the dark. 

Like he theoretically knows where things should go, and he could probably figure it out with some trial-and-error, but FUCK, IT SURE WOULD BE EASIER IF SOMEBODY TURNED THE LIGHTS ON SMDNSD

Words are so fickle and imprecise, and easy to misconstrue. Actions feel more precise.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If you ask? He’s gonna say he doesn’t, because ’’’’’’’something something he’s above all that, isn’t some weak-willed flesh sack, he has no needs or cravings or things he enjoys because he is the perfect creation’’’’’’’’ etc, etc, etc

It’s utter BULLSHIT this man fucks his fist every other night thinking of you.

ITS JUST. how is he not meant to get distracted when you look like that. all the time. it’s agonizing and you should feel very bad for being such a distraction MSNDMSNM.

especially when,, avenues for actually having sex with you is. limited. considering his current situation. So he makes due with what he has <333

tbh even AFTER he gets out, this man is pretty insatiable, so I can see it still being a semi-regular occurrence!! something something he craves positive sensory input, and sex gives him so much of that.

Methods offer a lot of variety - if he’s still,, yknow,, Slice n’ Diced, it’s gonna be exclusively wire play. Takes a bit of fiddling, but once he’s got it? <333 oh he’s in heaven

If he’s repaired to some degree? his own hand is fine, but I have no doubt this man would 3D print a Fleshlight based off on one [or more] of your holes. Probably several.

It’s nice for those rare times when you’re travelling bc of work and he just. needs you in that idiotic, desperate way that makes his pride start getting spiky.

It’s not as good as the real thing, ofc, but it’s enough to tide him until he can get you back in his arms <333

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OH BOY <33 WHERE TO BEGIN

I’m not even sure if there’s a word for this but like,, he’s obsessed with seeing you all fucked-out and brainless.

He just,, always seems to be able to find That One Way of fucking you that makes you ASCEND SMDNSMD JUST LIKE A FUCKING,, FULL SYSTEM RESET.

Smth about the mixture of the angle, the rhythm, that barely noticeable vibration? He’s had so much time to perfect his technique that he basically knows you inside out.

He could get you off in seconds if he wanted, but where’s the fun in that?

he loves that point where aren’t even moaning, it’s just this delightful mixture of nonsense and sobbing and desperate nodding in some attempt to tell him to keep going?

THAT. THAT’S HIS SHIT RIGHT THERE. There’s nothing in the world he enjoys more than being able to see your brain shut off, bit by bit. Your limbs slowly going limp, eyes rolling back, law going all slack, until you’re just. mush <3 oughe <3.

[He’d never admit it, but the trust part is what gets him the most. you trusting him to handle you in such a vulnerable state? Not seeing him as a danger? Oh <3333 love isn’t a strong enough word for what he’s feeling]

A FEW OTHERS I’M SO SURE OF (and that i’ve kinda mentioned earlier but shoosh) :

Praise kink!! 

Nobody with this much of an ego who’s given so little affection/appreciation doesn’t have a praise kink <3 he thinks he’s being slick but he,, really isn’t. He perks up visibly when you praise him.

Sensory stuff!! 

Specifically over-stimulation, because this man adores pushing his limits, intense + postitive sensations, etc, but also I raise you,,,, temperature. Wax. Heating up his internal systems. The feeling of the rubber melting off his wires as you hover a lighter beside them. 

Masochism but like. Coppery msdnmsd.

In that same vein? I’m obsessed with the idea of using a drill (dremel?) to etch patterns into the exterior plating of his highly-sensitive motor. That area is already so tender, mixed with his love of Intense Feelings? It just <333 feels like such a good combo.

NEW ONE NEW ONE BC OF PART 2 : FINGERS,, HANDS,,, SUCKA SUCKA HONKA HONKA.

it’s not his strongest kink, but it’s definitely. up there. I mentioned it earlier, but he’ll absolutely get himself riled up just. staring at your hands. While you do unrelated things.

If you slip your fingers into his mouth, his brain will shut off. His eyes unfocus a little, and badabing-badaboom, he’s pliable as a bendy straw.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

nearest. nearest location is favorite location.

OKAY BUT,,,,, he’s especially partial to slightly more risque venues? He’s such a prideful, overconfident bastard. He’d 1000% believe y’all wouldn’t get caught, because he’s too clever to get caught.

That’s also due to circumstance, because even if he does end up getting fully put back together he’s most likely still gonna be stuck in Cognito.

If the holodeck is an option though??

Outdoors. God he isn’t used to the feeling of the sun, and breeze, and just,, nature. You riding him in a [granted, holographically projected] field, under the shade of a big oak tree? being able to feel grass on his legs, breeze filtering through his hair? The smell of earth and pollen? HES SO GONE!!!

Alternatively just,, the softest bed in the world. He isn’t used to Cozy Comfy Sensations, he was trapped in a sterile basement for god knows how long. the idea of fucking you/being fucked into big, plush blankets?He’d eat that shit right up.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

BANTER. He’s a snarky little bastard and having you match his snark or better,,,,, oh boy <333 you can practically see the hearts floating around his head.

LIKE,, he’s not used to having people who keep up with his wit? He’s a super-intelligent AI,, most conversations aren’t very stimulating. 

Especially if you’re confident? <333

ALSO LITTLE TOUCHES. This silly bitch is TOUCH STARVED. TOUCH FAMISHED. Running your hands thought his hair, along his arm. It’s the littlest things that have him going fucking AWOOGA.

Any sort of praise. Any sort of praise. Compliment his smile, you’ll see him go through every human emotion and invent completely new ones. 

[If the words ‘good boy’ slip out at any point, ever, you’ll have him wrapped around your finger like a bandaid]

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that would cause you substantial bodily harm - spanking is fine, slapping is a maybe, but if you’re asking him to,, properly brutalize you? Nope not a chance.

he knows he would never kill you, or purposefully do something he thinks would kill you, but he’s seen how little it takes to put a human out of commission. 

He could do everything perfectly, down to the most precise percent,  and still not be able to 100% predict the damage. he never wants to push things far enough that he can’t be sure of the outcome.

In terms of stuff being done to him? He’s very particular about sensory deprivation.

Light dulling of the senses is fine, and if it’s done right it’s one of his favorites, but if you sink his sensitivity too much it’s just. Bad. Bad and numb. It reminds him much too much of his Pre-Sentience state. 0/10

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

this man will never turn down head are you KIDDING?

<3 he has such limited experience with moisture. His systems just aren’t designed for it - he’ll absolutely upgrade himself eventually but,, even after that, its never smth he gets used to.

THE SLOPPIER THE BETTER <333 noisy, messy, unpredictable. He’s gonna have the tightest clenched fist pressed to his mouth to avoid ‘embarrassing himself’

Dw after about 5~ minutes this man will be keening. 

OH THE JOYS OF FUCKING A ROBOT <33

hours. days. weeks. if the human body did not have needs to fulfill, he’d just keep you laid up in bed getting the best head of your life.

Actually y’know what you’re getting details why not

If you possess a shween :

He’s such a little bastard in the best way. Your dicks gonna hurt for like three days but it’s so worth it <3

He has 0 gag reflex, which is delightful enough as is, but if he focuses he can pop his jaw outta place and OH <333 THE POSSIBILITIES

listen its gonna look a bit horrific so just. um. close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of his vibrating tongue lapping around your balls, while his dick explores your non-existent esophagus.

[although. to loop back for a sec. honestly, he kinda wishes he had a gag reflex <3 occasionally. sometimes. maybe. constantly. there’s just a certain amount of submission that comes with the action that makes his consciousness feel malleable to consider.]

Ok but even outside of pulling out Weird Robot Shit (tm) he’s still gonna be pulling out all the stops

personal favorite of his? Keeping his thumb against that point where your balls meet your shaft, and just,, letting the vibrations work while he sucks you off. Gently massaging upwards, watching you squirm and buck.

usually it isn’t enough to make you cum straight out, but the buzzing sensation definitely helps getting you somewhere malleable

oh and you KNOW he’s swallowing every last drop <3 smth about that oozing, heady heat tricking down his throat, into his faux-stomach makes his toes curl. [he’d never admit it, but he ups his throat sensitivity when you cum <3 just so he can really enjoy himself.]

I can’t think of a silly name for pussy. If you possess a jimberlywomble :

So many kisses

Just,, lips right against your hole, delicately lapping any spare droplet of cum.

There’s something about the mixture of smell + taste that makes this man absolutely pussydrunk. If you popped his head open it’d just be TV static. Giving head is such a soothing activity for him <3

Vibrating,, everything? Fingers, lips, tongue. It starts out so gentle that you can barely notice it’s presence, and before you know it you feel like you’re shaking apart <3

FAVORITE TRICK??? it’s a classic, but fingering you while he tongues your clit? Different vibration settings for fingers vs mouth? <3333 its one of his favorite ways to make you lose coherency

That isn’t to say he can’t make you delirious with just his tongue. He can, and will gladly demonstrate his talents at the drop of a hat. he just likes the noises you make when he combines them <3

if you don’t ask him to stop, he will just go until you lose consciousness.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

HE REALLY TRIES TO BE SLOW AND SWEET ABOUT IT BUT. HE HAS A HABIT OF SPEEDING UP

He wants to savor it but. Again, the worst case of Instant Gratification ever. I cannot emphasize this enough.

I could talk about how this man has so little impulse control etc etc etc but this is HORNY TIME SO

Like it’ll just,, strike him at a random moment that your noises is the most beautiful sound to ever grace his ears and if he doesn’t hear more NowNowNowNow he’s going to die, and WHOOPS the bedframe is broken. How did that happen.

If he stays slow the whole time, it’s either bc you specifically requested it OR he’s decided to be a horrible, dreadful tease. In which case, strap in, it’s gonna be a long night.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

UGH bane of his existence but also the best thing ever.

He appreciates any time he can have with you, but also ever single time he feels himself wanting more - 15 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for him to savor you >:[

Quickies are especially good for teasing him - sneaking off to a broom closet once or twice during the day, satisfying him but not quite enough to get rid of that aching feeling. A nice little appetizer, yk? <3

They definitely don’t,, happen very often. 

PRIMARILY BC HE’S A SNEAKY FUCK AND HAS SUCH A HABIT OF STRETCHING THEM OUT. 

15 minutes turns into 20, turns into 30, turns into ‘only if you’re quick about it - they’re gonna start wondering where I went’ when he asks to taste you, etc, etc.

By the end of it, it’s been nearly an hour and a half, your legs don’t work, and he looks terribly proud of himself. Smug little bastard.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s pretty experimental? There’s very few things he won’t try - like I mentioned before, as long as it isn’t gonna cause you immense harm it’s pretty much fair game

WHEN IT COMES TO RISKS W/ HIMSELF THOUGH HE HAS ZERO PROBLEMS GOING ALL OUT

cause he can just be put back together! Nearly every element of his body is replaceable!

(aside from,, certain personality matrix stuff, but all of that is internal coding shit, nothing you’d be able to accidentally get ahold of)

HE LOVES intense sensations, so wireplay is such a blast jfc - if you wanna start straight up yanking wires and scratching up his motor with a screwdriver, he will be all for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

OH THE JOYS OF BEING A ROBOT <3333 literally does not need  breaks. He’s built for long stretches of intense work, followed by short diagnostic-recoup crash period. Also he’s an eager bastard and absolutely starved for the physical sensations that come with sex so. YEAH.

he’ll go as long as you care to go <3

ITS LITERALLY UP TO YOU SDMNS,, if your human body wouldn’t turn to paste, he’d probably go for days.

WARNING THOUGH,,, he will get more glitchy with each round, this IS the most sex ever, AND he will pretend he isn’t.

I ELABORATE A BIT MORE ON THIS IN (Z) SECTION BUT. He tends to overextend himself a touch during sex bc,, he doesn’t pay attention that much to his internal systems? This does mean that, occasionally, he’ll just slip into a Sleep Cycle unintentionally right after. silly goose forgets to pace himself.

OH ALSO. he,, is a bit of a quick shot for a number of reasons, but he also doesn’t stop fucking you when he cums, so he just kinda,, hopes you don’t notice?  (you do <3 don’t bring it up he’ll die of embarrassment. his pride cant take it be gentle with him)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

babey he IS the toy!!!! Those fingers vibrate!!!

Aside from the fleshlight I mentioned in a previous section, he really doesn’t see a need to? He’s perfectly able to take care of his needs on his own, and outside of that, he’s got his beautiful partner <3

If you have a vibrator he will be jealous

HE FEELS SO SILLY FOR IT BUT HE DOES. He’s a robot his fingers vibrate why do you use that. He’s memorized exactly what you like. It isn’t even sentient. he’s superior in every way. >:[ why are you laughing at him stop laughing

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Teasing is a tender balance of how much he enjoys seeing you squirm and his,, very limited patience.

Because sure it’s delightful to watch you gasp and squirm as he curls his vibrating fingers in your hole but,, also god wouldn’t it feel better to be inside you?

OH but if he’s intent on teasing you?????? good luck MSNDMSD

You’re gonna understand why ppl murder their husbands. 

Infrared + a dozen other sensors means he can time when he stops down to the microsecond. He’ll keep you so close to the edge you aren’t even sure you’re begging in a decipherable language anymore. If you ask for some T&D prepare for him to be an absolute menace.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

noise = vulnerability = weakness = he’d literally rather combust

You can hear the mechanisms in his jaw straining from how hard he’s clenching it. He’ll make a little sigh or moan and immediately roll his eyes at himself. 

It’s gonna take some time to get him used to the idea of making noise and,, even then he’s gonna be so embarrassed by it. If he thinks too hard on it he’ll cringe himself into a scrapyard.

he feels so. silly. he isn’t some mewling little human dammit >:(((

DESPITE ALL OF THIS,,,, he crumbles so fast if you know what buttons to push

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE CUMS LIKE??? He is. such a naturally talkative person + his systems are under such strain that,, somewhere between you rocking against him and his cock starting to pulse inside you he doesn’t even realize he’s started to ramble.

GRANTED most of it is,, a bit undecipherable. Several of his systems are gonna be hard rebooting

His voice is all rumbly and strained, right at the back of his throat. Little bits of absolutely adoring praise interspersed with swearing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

blinks. I can’t believe I can’t think of one. I’m literally sitting here looking through this document trying to find smth I haven’t already mentioned. Outis is a FRAUD Outis is a FAKE

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

WHERE TO BEGINNNN. I’m gonna assume this one’s for,, fully repaired.

IF I GOTTA BE BRIEF? Just like,, quintessential Dad Bod.

Soft fuzzy hair covering every part,, plenty of stomach and fat and muscle and I am DROOLING MOVING ON-

Actually I’m lying you’re getting a subsection on this

I’m so stuck on him having massive honkers and you can’t take that away from me. I have not a shred of justification aside from just. Look at him. Look at him. IDC if he doesn’t canonically has them, spiritually that man has Big Old Man Tiddies, with a beautiful spattering of ruddy hair.

Big arms, but not that much defined muscle? If he moves around, sure, but in his resting state you don’t see a lot of it. They peek out when u least expect it

Love handles to spare. Grab em during sex if you want to see the still-fleshy section of his face light up poppy red.

mathematically optimized ween

DONT LAUGH HE WORKED VERY HARD ON IT >:[

He will literally construct the Perfect Dick To Maximize Your Joint Pleasure because. He loves you AND he’s dramatic .

Besides, what’s a better way to cool his jealousy than the secured knowledge that nobody else’s dick could ever possibly square up to his?

I have not a single doubt in my mind that this man wouldn’t end up creating some like,, Bad Dragon type of shit. Not his go-to, but as an alternate option for when you want something a bit more intense?

Lots of texture, thick vein-like wires along the shaft - maybe even components that he can move and shift around? He likes to keep you on your toes <3

oh balls <3 literally

He has massive balls. Look at this smug son of a bitch and TELL ME he wouldn’t.

Its also just,, practical? There’s tubing and wiring that goes through there, to make sure the Cum releases smoothly, so making them larger just,, makes things easier?

If you lick them you’re gonna get the prettiest view of him fighting tooth-and-nail to keep his composure together.

The mixture of him loving intense sensations + the wetness of your tongue and mouth + those beautiful eyes looking up at him??? He’s gripping the mattress hard for dear life.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

PLEASE this man was free for maybe,, 3 hrs? 5 max? before getting shoved in a tube in a cold, damp basement for like 6 months to a year? When Tamiko stroked his face I think he experienced Nirvana? This question answers itself

Like I’ve mention before, he’d fuck you for days if not for the fact that you’d. die

At first he’s gonna be very. Stiff and hesitant to initiate things but once he’s got his footing he’s gonna be such a TERROR.

listen if you didn’t want him jumping your bones in your office then. maybe look less fantastic idk what to tell ya <3. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

EHE >:) you would think that bc he’s an AI he doesn’t need any rest but you would be WRONG 

HES GOT A DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE BABEY <333 WHICH IS,, BASICALLY SLEEP AS MUCH AS HE LIKES TO PRETEND IT ISNT <33

He doesn’t have to do it, technically. He can function for multiple months without it, but,,,,, he gets some visible processing problems.

Every,, 72~ hours, it’s ideal for him to power down and allow his systems to do some checks - make sure everything’s working right, maybe switch up some pathways, optimize some coding. Basic stuff!!

THAT TIMEFRAME SHORTENS SO MUCH AFTER SEX THOUGH. It activates a shit ton of systems and he has a tendency to overtax them in the heat of the moment.

USUALLY, like 98% of the time, he’s just as fine as when you two started!! Could probably go for even longer!!

it’s just when he already hasn’t rested in a hot minute AND has gone a few rounds AND hasn’t been taking good care of his systems that. he’s gonna start to get,, Properly Drowsy.

like it doesn’t hit him,, how much he’s overtaxed his systems until he’s stopped.

Sue him for not being worried about the efficiency of his fucking,, ~coolant pumps~ when he’s railing you against the kitchen table.

It’s kinda like when you pull an all-nighter and you feel fine and then. The second you sit down you fucking,, crash into a whole new dimension of exhaustion. You can taste thoughts and your eyes feel like you’re made of oil.

His ’’tired’’ glitches are very specific - his voice doesn’t skip, so much as it gets more fuzzy? You can hear a bit of a static overlay, like you’re hearing him through a walkie-talkie. Duke Nukem Compressed Voice type of vibe

HE GETS SLIGHT PROCESSING DELAYS WHEN HE NEEDS TO DO HIS DIAGNOSTIC CYCLE. AND YES, OFC HE TRIES TO PRETEND EVERYTHING/S FINE.

You’ll ask him a question and know 100% he did not catch a goddamn lick of that shit sdSMNDMSDN not once spare iota of processing power left between those ears babey.

he just. doesn’t want the moment to end. it’s so nice just being with you during the afterglow. Doesn’t matter how much his systems bug him to power down, he’s not even thinking of it until you’re fast asleep

.......... if you wanna get him asleep though, rest his head against your chest and play with his hair. The mixture of your heartbeat + your fingers against his artificial scalp?

clik-clik-wroom he’s out like a light <3

ALMOST 6000 WORDS, JESUS

THAT WAS SO LONG AND SO FUN AND. truly I am bananas for this man. the folly of Outis. I hope this gave you some of my brainworms, and if you read this to the end I’m making us friendship bracelets as we speak <333

I might do some more of these for other characters in the future but :o hold me not to these words, I am a busy boy smdnsmd ANYWAYS BYE MWAH HAVE A GREAT DAY <333

EDIT : OH AND. IF THERES ANY ELEMENTS YOU WANT ME TO ELABORATE ON, GO NUTS. YOU KNOW IM UNABLE TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MAN.

[jrueships]

just got told saying the word ',haha,' in an email is unprofessional jargon, and i need to cease this behavior immediately ??

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(i don't usually rec things, or make rec lists, but the occasion has presented itself so here's a short little list of wolfstar recs. some from authors i know and love and trust, and some from strangers who I've never met but love anyway:

edit: i got to the end of the post, and decided to call this my beach read collection of wolfstar fics because they're all just...delightful to read. some angst, but otherwise. beach reads!)

-i'm not going to tag them, because every time i make a rec list these two are on it, and i'm sure they're tired of me being a banshee about their works but. here is a short list of some of my recent reads by aerid0nis and dykesiriusblack (@ steelycunt and @ dykefever on tumblr respectively

by aerid0nis and it only felt good while moving (written for their RS Candy Hearts and its SO CUTE) station to station : i read this one not too long ago after conjuring my courage because ridi's writing does things to me and ohmygosh was it lovely and fucking worth the fucking wait. there is angst and there is pining and there is so much love standing, by the wall honestly, just read it. by dykesiriusblack the shape and sound of god: a wolfstar fleabag au. i'm obsessed with the way this is written. lover, you should come over: look, the boys are messy in this and its beautiful.

Fearless Liabilities by @femme--de--lettres: a wolfstar summer camp AU. I admittedly have not yet finished this one, but I have read enough to comfortably rec it. andies writing never fails to make me laugh-- like audibly out loud. multiple times. i don't know anyone who is better at illustrating absolute shenanigans as well as andie can and this story is SO FREAKIN' CUTE. it has romance. it has camp. it has complicated families and friendships and. yah.

Only Fools are Satisfied by grumposaur (aka tumblr user @pancakehouse). AGAIN. I admittedly haven't finished this yet, but i'm going to rec it because sports AU girlies rise up and-- YES. this is a wolfstar tennis AU. Do i know anything about tennis? No. Am I hooked? yes. I am in love with sirius as we all should be, and it is so fun. (also, i can't explain it, but tumblr user pancakehouse, there is something...so like...nonchalant and casual about the way you write? effortless, every sentence and i'm enjoying every bit of it).

Just what the doctor ordered by wrappedup: i feel like everyone and their dog recs this one (pun intended) but rightfully so. beware tall remus, but the banter and pacing in this is so good.

Hard to Find by accioromulus. this one is short, easy breezy read. the dialogue is so fun and quick and its just...simple and cute. Muggle Roadtrip AU.

[syd-carm]

the way we never got to see any one on one stewy/gerri content..............all that missed potential for what could've been THE ultimate dynamic business bitch duo

[i-like-books-and-women]

I'm going through ao3 as one does and sometimes it's just like "ah you're new" cause I saw a fic tagged / but literally all the other tags are like "this is platonic".

[nami-moittli]

Sometimes I think about the beginning of Stone Ocean and how Jolyne was able to accurately guess things, like in the beginning at the jail and guessing that Ermes was hiding money in her breast implants and when I first watched that I thought, “oh cool, so that’s just something that she can do and will be doing”

Oh silly me. I mean, I guess Jolyne is very good at coming up with strategies and stuff, but with the shit she deals with it’s that or die so idk if it really counts, you know?

Anyway in the SDC Jolyne AU Joseph finds out about this and is like, “I’m a little rusty, but I used to be able to predict what people were going to say before they did it!” And basically after that every once in a while Jolyne will try the “your next line is…” trick getting really close to what they were actually going to say but get the phrasing wrong until the end when she’s finally able to predict exactly what someone’s going to say

[francisforever2014]

i have a weird obsession with reading parenting news articles and stuff despite never wanting to become a parent bc they’re just so fascinating to me…… like the brand of neurosis people have is so interesting . i just read a long ass article this mom wrote freaking tf out about whether or not to buy an elf on the shelf bc on one hand she was tired and exhausted from all of the other stuff she does for christmas for her kids but on the other she’s like omg i don’t want to ROB them of more christmas magic 😖 like i promise it’s not that serious but also i feel bad bc she’s big stressing over literally nothing . also she included a bit where her husband was like yeah let’s get an elf this year . and she was like okay i’m too busy do you think you could take point on it? and he was like *silence* like 😭 these women make me so sad i prommy you’re not ruining your children’s childhoods by not doing every single stupid tradition but your husband is ruining YOUR life by being fucking useless and refusing to do one thing like i wish they could focus on that instead of taking on all of this contrived blame :(

[applesandbannas747]

teaching has made me so much better at being a student like it's insane how easy school is now because i understand exactly what the teacher is doing and what they want from me

which also means when something is really and truly busywork because the thing it's meant to achieve could be or HAS BEEN achieved in the class another way, i am so painfully aware that it's wasting my time

joke is on my prof however because grading is the worst and getting a 20 page essay in response to the 4-8 page essay you asked for is actually hellish. waste my time and i will waste yours <3

[cashewally-sarcastic]

Ventus, who has spent days on the streets of Old Mondstadt listening to the voices of the people. Who has silently watched as parents take care of their young. Watch kids escort their aunts to the stores. The wind around him is so cold

He plays his lyre. Its the only thing he has on him. He would rather die than say where he acquired it, and at the end of the day its his lyre.

Ventus closes his eyes. For the breifedt moment he couldn't hear the deafening gales around him. He is in the eye of the hurricane. What song is he even playing? He switched from one track to the other minutes ago and was now improvising a solo.

The families are still talking to each other.

At the end of the day, he is just background music

.

Then one day a creature bumps into him. Radiating the same warmth as a prayer and eyes akin to his god's. Was it a spy? Was it a child? Was it a puppet?

Wearily, he asks for a name. Smiling as he tells the sprite how he wishes to make ballads of the little thing. It flutters around him, occassionally stumbling in mid air like its drunk. It gives out a little squeak as it gestures to itself.

Ventus tries to mimic that chime, but his mouth can't hit the same notes. The sprite speaks more and more, yet Vrntus can't understand a thing. He just smiles and nods as he subconsciously plays his lyre.

Before he knows it, he can feel the chill of night. Or at least what he thinks it night. The elders of the city tell what night is supposed to be, but the winds had carried away those voices a long time ago.

Tales of an object called the moon. How it would shift as the weeks go by. How it could disappear and be reborn once anew- surrounded by her starry sisters.

Night.

He hated it.

He hates how cold it is. How dark it is. How every candle and life is snuffed by the wind.

Yet the creature is still hear, making a nest on his lap.

Its warm.

Letting go of his lyre for just a breif moment, he runs his fingers down the cloak of the sprite. Soft yet smooth. Was this what a bird felt like?

Tomorrow would be another day. Tomorrow he could try to pronounce his ... freind's name better. Tomorrow he could do so much.

Despite the being being on his lap, he felt a warmth in his chest. Something he has never felt before. Something that made him think of protecting this creature.

Ventus rests his eyes as he carries his first friend, unware he would do this everynight til the day he died

*cheers and applause amid tears and sobs*

MAN that was NOT was I was thinking about sad wise but FUCK that hurts

[evansbby]

I have a question

What happens if Chris evans openly supports Isnotreal?

Considering you are muslim and you support Palestine?

And Ari is a zionist.

You probably won’t answer this because you definitely don’t care.

Okay?

[nazumichi]

LOVE finding other people’s annotations in a book, while we shall never meet, we are united in our shared desire to fucking kill this guy.

[atlantis-just-drowned]

I know you and I have lost our faith a long time ago but there is something I still believe in. I know one day you'll wake up with me by your side and you'll look around and everything will be different. There will still be dark nights and stormy days but you'll look at the sun a different way, and we won't be trapped in the same place anymore, and people around us won't be the same. The world will have a different movement, one that we won't have to fight against, one that will flow just a little more easily. We'll carve our own place somewhere and we'll call it home. We'll know what it feels like to be at peace again, far from the people who hurt us, far from the place where we left all the pain. Please stay safe until this day come up. Please don't be scared to look back one last time and savor the feeling of it before we'll leave, because I want to see this day with you and nobody else. I still believe in that, I still believe in a better place for you and me. I love you so much. Thank you for giving me the chance to live by your side. Thank you for being part of my universe.

[astramachina]

i'm gonna start a collection of my favorite AO3 tags for real. over the past week it's been a close race between "wrote this because i can't go to hell fast enough" and "doves are not the only thing dead in here"

that said, i'm starting to see a trend where people use "dead dove do not eat" as shorthand for "there's problematic content in here" and a kind reminder that that's not what that means. dead dove just means "this fic contains exactly what it says in the tags" which is not at all the same thing.

[donnyholly]

who: @thezevking​ what: donny tries to get to zev but gets interrupted by a rich prick first :-\ where: holly holiday party :-\

Even if he was not one of the Hollys that everyone was looking for ( no, in order of importance, that would be his father, shortly followed by his mother, shortly followed by Danny... with Donny there at the way way way way way end ! ), Donny would be damned if he hadn’t had his best stiff smile on. Nod and wave to everyone, answer any questions, talk when prompted to talk. Yada yada yada. The usual drill when there were guests to schmooze with in the Holly household! A man ( he wants to say... maybe one of the Archers ? ) stops by for a brief second, gets Donny nodding and smiling and pretending to follow along with some half-hearted hums and ‘uh-huh, yeah!’ - See, the great thing about being amongst such a rich crowd ? He knew from experience that rich folks liked talking about themselves way more than anything else ! ‘Yes sir, your charity work was amazing. You definitely outdid Mr. So-And-So!’ -- and they were happy ! But, god... once they got on the topic of themself... there was no getting back ! Thus, great reprieve came when Donny spotted Zev just over the man’s shoulder. A quick apology, a quick ‘we’ll have to circle back to this!’ (because it was just sooooo interesting), a big ol’ smile and a firm handshake later... Donny managed to break from the one-sided conversation, marching towards Zev, head downward as if the man would pop up again at any moment and spring to attack !  SAFE. “Have you, uh... ever gotten trapped in a conversation with him?” he asked with a slight chuckle, nodding towards the man who had moved onto his new victim like a damn shark. “I’m a little disappointed that he doesn’t have pictures of himself summiting Mt. Everest in his wallet. It’s like, you know, if you’re gonna talk about it that much, you should definitely be showing us some pictures, right? Of him and his hoard of guides who he was really the one guiding since the mountain just spoke to him! A total spiritual experience! He was Mt. Everest!” And he was rambling... though, to be fair, everything he had just spouted ? They had almost been said verbatim by the man ! Nonetheless...  A beat, he shook his head with what could be a sheepish grin. What a silly goose! “So...” a moment to catch his breath... “is this year holding up to last year?”